#i had to replay all of dai and trespasser to make sure i got everything down

[justmaghookit]

Disclaimer these thoughts and feelings are my own and im not judging you if you don't feel the same, this is just how it felt to ME personally while playing the new Dragon Age. If you had a good experience you're under no obligation to read this, I just wanted to get my thoughts out. Hell even if you had a bad experience you're not obligated to read my word vomit. I'm also not looking for debate or argument so if you're considering that kindly fuck off.

And in before anyone thinks they're funny, I actually enjoyed all the previous games from the start.

Spoilers for companion quests but that's it

I finished Veilguard and like, I probably would have enjoyed it more if I gave a shit about Solas but the fact is I do not. I also didn't care for the "elven gods are actually ancient evil mages" plot either that came out of left field near the end of Inquisition with all the evidence at the time being Solas going "just trust me bro"

If the whole plotline didn't feel like just an excuse to justify the games treatment of the elves

Like Bellara mentions in a side conversation about elven myths being really weird and creepy when you look into them but then doesn't actually give you examples.

And myths being weird and creepy alone isn't even good evidence because PLENTY of myths and legends from ancient civilisations are weird and creepy! That's just kinda how they are! Hell the bible is weird and creepy if you look close enough!

And the thing is i didn't start off not caring about Solas, I liked him! Hell I romanced him my first DAI playthrough because I was fascinated by him! But the writings insistent at pushing him at me turned me sour on him.

Like I'm one of those bitches who thought trespasser was an entirely unnecessary DLC cause man I already knew he was going to be the villain in the next game, I got that from the ending of the main game!!!

Also the game just feels short. I'd have to replay DA2 to compare that but it's definitely shorter than Origins in Inquisition(in my personal play time) and everything else feels crushed into a shorter time frame while simultaneously failing to make me feel like I'm under these deadly time restraints as we rush towards the end of the world.

Im making all these big choices but none of it feels impactful because I feel like I've spent barely any time with these characters, which SUCKS because I love the characters! The companions are the best thing about this game!! But I don't feel like I actually get close to them! Hell I didn't even feel close to my ROMANCE option because I felt like we rarely talked.

My partner and I talked a lot and like in the previous games during and after a big decision you could ask your companions their opinions, and sometimes it would give you the option to change their minds if they didn't agree with you(if they like you enough)

And sure i could walk into where they are hanging out and they'll say a line but it felt more like they where talking AT me then TO me.

Also the stupid fucking gifts? You get a non-cutscene of them going "oh thanks :)" and seeing it in their room. They don't talk to you about it, they don't even explain WHY they like it or what it means to them!

I wanted Bellara to tell me how the frog worked! I wanted Neve to tell me the story of the Dock Town mystery! I wanted Lucanis to say something about how is grandmother had a tea set like this!!! I don't even remember the other gifts I gave because they had zero impact!

Also man I can count on one hand the amount of times a companion disapproved of something I did and I dont want yes men! I want team mates who will challenge my decisions and get mad at me. Hell even the companion who gets hardened at the beginning doesn't even challenge you, and they have a reason to challenge you!

Don't even get me started on how stupid that hardened mechanic even is compared to previously.

And then half the companion quests end with really stupid one or the other decisions that do not have to be that way. Like im sorry why does Taash have to only honour ONE of their cultures. Why am I making a this or that decision about the griffons when they could be BOTH these things in the future. Why is Bellara asking ME a DWARF what to do with her people's history instead of discussing it with the other Jumpers? Why does Harding have to choose between her compassion and her rage when by all rights both of those emotions are hers to balance?

I dont know about Lucanis because of the hardening stuff but the only ones that kinda made sense was Emmrich and Neve, and Neve only because I'm a shadow dragon and have a stake in the city. For Emmrich he's leaning on a friend for support during an emotional time. It would have more effect if I felt we were closer friends and had more time together though!!!

Like this game could have been really really fucking good and it has a very decided story it wants to tell and on that front it does it well but its not a story I felt invested in. Maybe if I had read the tie in novels and comics I'd have been more invested but a good game series shouldn't rely on you reading all the tie in shit to be able to pull you in to its story!

I wish the game had been given space to breath and really let me feel close to the characters and the world. I wish I'd gotten that year with Varric and Harding, getting to know them and learning about Solas and what's at stake. I wish I'd had more interactions with my home factions characters, hell maybe even a personal quest to tie in to where you're from!

I cant help but feel like parts of it feel unfinished, like way back when we heard about the writer lay-offs at EA and Bioware we where told not to worry because the story was finished. But I cant help but think that only pertained to the main plot points, that all the little details that are usually lovingly rendered are missing. That Rook's personality feels so one note because they didn't have enough time. That the decisions are so bland because the writers didn't get to expand on them.

All in all to me DAV suffers the same dedregation of all other triple a games. And all other bioware products. Corners are cut and developers are put into straight up abusive development practices that harms the game and harms the industry and most importantly harms the creatives behind it. I really can't blame DAV for leaving me feeling empty when it was made in such a fucked environment.

[rainbowbutterfrosting]

The Revived - Chapter 22: Preparations

This is chapter 22 of the Dream SMP multichapter fic @dramaticsnakes​ and I wrote together! I hope you’ll enjoy!

AO3

Read in order (on Tumblr)

Characters in this chapter: Wilbur, Ghostbur

Word count: 3,093

Cw: pain, brief loneliness, implied derealization

Fic summary: Wilbur was alive, and it was such a magnificent feeling, that made his mind spark with anticipation. It didn’t take long, however, for Wilbur to realize that this new breath of life, was not just his own. An echo-y voice hides in the back of his mind, and before he knows it, the transparent version of him he saw at the endless train station, is a lot more ingrained than he’d expected him to be.

And Wilbur really shouldn’t care. Because he’d be damned, if he spent the life he’d awaited for so long, babysitting a lost cause of a ghost, stuck in the very same limbo Wilbur spent so long in. It was an even exchange, and one Wilbur wasn’t going to mess with. Why exactly he ends up setting out to get the ghost out of his mind, in order to save the both of them, however, is beyond him. And perhaps Wilbur’s past isn’t as easy to leave behind, as he’d hoped it would be.

Wilbur was somewhat thankful that the early morning interaction had been disheveled enough, for Wilbur not to have been asked to leave. It was kind of funny really, that even though Wilbur had been caught trespassing where he shouldn’t, the young boy had been far too distracted to kick him out. Far too confused and awkward. It seemed to be a general trend whenever Ranboo was talking to him.

Though perhaps Wilbur couldn’t act as if he was above that awkwardness, as he hadn’t even gotten around to asking exactly what kind of party it was. He assumed however, for natural reasons, that if it was a party for a toddler, presents for said toddler would be involved. Regardless, Wilbur didn’t think giving a present to a child would be looked down upon in any case. If anything, it might repair what he previously damaged. Even if it was an infinitesimal amount, it could still help.

“Oh oh oh! What should we get him?” Ghostbur asked excitedly, “What does he like? Red, gold, nether things, books…” He chuckled as he jokingly added, “Us! We could wrap ourselves in a present.”

Wilbur chuckled despite himself. “We could,” he said with a smile, feeling a bit of exhaustion dragging at him, but finding it easier and easier to ignore. “Let’s see if there’s anything we can use in these chests.”

Wilbur rummaged through them for a while, only managing to find four gold ingots that could perhaps interest the child. He briskly crafted them into a pair of gold boots that he figured would suit Michael’s size. He narrated the action to Ghostbur as he did it.

“They’re like rubber boots!” Ghostbur had commented excitedly.

“Mhm.”

“Oh, I have an idea!” 

“Shoot,” a smile lingered in his voice as he grabbed a dark gray satchel nearby. It was light-weight and durable. Perfect for a gift or two. He carefully put the golden boots inside it as Ghostbur rambled on cheerfully.

“So, hear me out. I’ve got the best idea ever in the whole universe. We should make him a card! He can hold and look at it, and you can be nice in it too!”

Wilbur walked downstairs, grabbing some sugar cane from the farm as he quickly pressed it into paper. A quill sat nearby as he picked it up. “Alright, so a simple message…” Wilbur’s voice trailed off.

“Okay, how about, ‘Oh, Michael, you are the most amazing person to exist and I hope you continue existing forever.’”  

Wilbur looked into the air as if he was on The Office. “Or we could go with something more general.”

“I gotcha! We can do ‘You are the most amazing person to exist and you are so cool that I hope you continue existing forever.’”

“First of all, I thought I said more general, not less.”

“I did make it more general! I removed Michael’s name from it.”

Wilbur facepalmed gently so it wouldn’t hurt Ghostbur. “I meant for it to be less… emotional? I don’t think that’s the right word, but I want the card to be neutral.”

Ghostbur hummed in agreement. “Okay. We can say ‘I feel neutral about your existence, but I do agree that you chose to exist at this current time, and by the way, you are also very cool.’”

Wilbur sighed, “I’ll take over the writing.” He narrated the words on the paper, “Dear Michael, The world will be at your feet someday! But for now, it's just these gold boots.” A smile slipped on his face at the words replaying in his mind in company with Ghostbur’s noises of approval.

“Oh can we do a drawing at the bottom? Michael likes drawings.”

Wilbur nodded, “Yeah, that’s a good idea.”

Ghostbur excitedly squealed, “Can we- oh my, I have so many good ideas.”

Wilbur chuckled, pleased to hear the ghost being his typical self again. “I can start with drawing Michael?”

Ghostbur clapped, “Yeah! And- and holding hands with him?”

“Sure, just give me one second.” He might have been a leader of a nation and a general for many soldiers, but Wilbur certainly was not an artist. He tried genuinely drawing a face, only for him to scratch it out and get a new paper out and transfer his original message onto it. Instead, he imitated Michael’s drawing style- stick figures. 

He drew playful lines across the bottom of the paper. He eventually formed a small stick person with little pig ears, a big smile, and black boots. He would have colored them, but he didn’t want to risk Michael eating the paper as he did just days ago. 

Next to Michael, he drew a slightly bigger person. Curly hair at the top and a rough trenchcoat around the body. He hesitantly finished the picture with a small smile on his own face. It felt a bit silly to draw like that. To be making a card for a child after everything, drawing handholding and smiles. Yet Ghostbur’s excitement was strangely infectious. It was sort of relieving in a sense, even if Wilbur wasn’t the type to fall for such bright positivity.

“Alright, the drawings are finished.” 

He was about to fold the paper into his pocket when Ghostbur called out, “Wait, did you put any stars on there?”

“No?”

“What kind of drawing is it if there’s no stars?!”

Wilbur sighed quietly as he quickly scribbled some stars in the corners. “Alright, I’m putting it away now-”

“Wait! Did you sign it?”

Wilbur furrowed his brow, “I’m giving it to him. He knows it’s from me.”

Ghostbur pleaded, “But cards always look better if they’re signed. Just a quick, ‘Love, Wilbur and Ghostbur’ makes the card a thousand times better! No- a billion!”

Wilbur sighed as he remained frozen in place before the words settled in. His mind easily processed the ridiculous request, but not the fact that Ghostbur wanted to be signed on the card too. Wilbur should have probably assumed it, but the idea didn’t fully settle with him. “Alright.” The words were quiet as he quickly wrote down, ‘Sincerely, Uncle Wilbur’.

"Is there anything else I need to add?"

"Hmm, I don't think so."

Wilbur gently placed the card in the satchel as he quickly ran up to see the clock once more, but he slightly frowned to see the hour hand still lingering between the four and five. He brushed it off though. He could easily occupy himself anyway. His eyes glazed over the books on the table before he internally groaned at the thought of hitting the books once again. 

He walked over to the table, placing the satchel onto it, before grabbing one of the books before Ghostbur spoke, "Oh, we're reading again?" His voice sounded slightly dismayed.

Wilbur shook his head, "Nah, I'm just putting away some books." Ghostbur made a pleased sound  as Wilbur quietly pushed the leather-bound book back into its spot. 

He sighed quietly at the odd silence of the room. He focused on the ticking of the clock. It

was a nice sound to focus on. It was a constant reminder he was still alive. Even if he wasn't

the happiest in his position, he was alive. 

An alive man that was going to attend a toddler's party with a homemade card that had poorly drawn stickmen inside.

He exhaled sharply through his nose, as he finished putting some of the books away. Most of them held no useful information anyhow, and perhaps leaving them out would appear suspicious, should Tubbo return.

He wondered for a brief moment if Ranboo intended on telling Tubbo about Wilbur’s presence in the bunker. He imagined Tubbo insisting on having a talk as soon as Wilbur arrived. Prime, Wilbur despised talks. He just hoped the awkwardness of the interaction, and Ranboo’s apparent secrecy, was enough for Ranboo to leave it out.

Wilbur walked downstairs, finding that his leg had almost healed during his days in the bunker. He was going to harvest some watermelon, simply to pass the time. As he was about to do so, his eyes fell upon something dusty, peeking out of a chest he hadn’t bothered looking much at before. He knew what it was. He closed his eyes momentarily, to get a hold of his thoughts, before walking to the chest, and taking out a dusty mirror. 

He rubbed the shiny end of it with his sleeve. The mirror was still vaguely cloudy, but it still showed him nonetheless. Well- not exactly him, but rather his body. The man who stared back was nearly unrecognizable with gray bruises scattered along his face that easily complemented the bags under his eyes.

Complement was a rather strong word as all of his features seemed off-putting to him. His greasy hair hung close to his pale-ish skin. He squished his face with one of his hands, truly making sure that his reflection was his own. Of course, the mirror version moved along with him, but he strangely wished it didn’t. 

His mind drifted back to his encounter with Ranboo. Had they really intended on inviting Wilbur to the party in the first place? Or had that been done out of pity?

The only good thing about his reflection was that he couldn’t see the burns along his chin anymore. He touched it gently, finding the skin to be a little softer than before. 

He automatically put the mirror down as he headed towards the shower that laid in the bunker. He stopped two steps away as Ghostbur chimed in, “What time is it over there?”

“Oh… I don’t know.” He was pulled out of his thoughts quite easily as he stayed frozen in place.

Confusion laced Ghostbur’s voice, “You can’t check?”

Wilbur shut his eyes tightly for a moment before taking a sharp breath, “I could, but I have to ask you something.”

Wilbur despised the cheeriness in Ghostbur’s response. “Ask away!”

Images of Wilbur’s face flashed through his own mind as he hesitantly asked, “Alright, Ghostie, there’s not an easy way to bring this up.” Ghostbur hummed in acknowledgement, not wanting to interrupt Wilbur. Despite Wilbur not wanting to continue on, he forced the words out of him, “So- do you know what a shower is?”

“Yeah! It’s one of those plants on the ground with pretty petals.”

A dry chuckle left Wilbur, “No, that’s a flower.”

“Oh. Is it what Tubbo uses in baking?”

Wilbur sighed this time, “No, that’s wheat flour.” As Ghostbur was about to give another guess, Wilbur cut him off, “I’ll just tell you.”

Ghostbur sounded slightly dismayed at his refused answers, “Alright.”

“Alright. Alright,” the words were quiet in his mind as he forced himself back on track. “A shower is something people do to get clean. They use soap and… water to do this.”

“Aww, I was about to guess that too.”

“Right.” It was now or never. “I think I need to take a shower.”

“Okay!”

Wilbur furrowed his brow, “You’re… okay with me taking a shower? You know it’s going to require water, right?”

Ghostbur’s breath hitched at the realization. “Ah. I thought you meant soap or water.”

Wilbur exhaled, the tension flowing through his body. “Yeah.”

“So why do you need to take one? I know people in general do it, but you can explain to him that water hurts me.”

Wilbur shook his head, “He can’t know about you.”

Child-like curiosity filled Ghostbur’s voice, but it was slightly dimmer than what it should have been, “Why?”

Wilbur pursed his lips. It was too risky to describe in words. With how little trust Tubbo had in Wilbur, it would most likely foil their plans of Ghostbur’s escape. The suspicion and worry in Tubbo’s eyes wouldn’t temporarily go away at a joke. There wouldn’t be a moment alone with his thoughts as everyone whispered about the mind of his. They wouldn’t say anything bad either, just harsh truths that hurt more than he’d like to imagine. The truths he thought he could escape by finishing his unfinished symphony. 

Wilbur’s failed nation transitioned to a mind that couldn’t go a day without the desperate need to talk to someone again. The need for someone to reassure him he was alive and he wasn’t imagining something in the train station again. He was quite imaginative in there. He made fantasy worlds with so many new people, but at the end of the day, he imagined Tommy by his side laughing or cooking breakfast with Tubbo again. 

On the rougher days, he would imagine Fundy there. Sometimes he talked about his problems to him, only to cry harder when he remembered his son wasn’t actually there. Or he would imagine Niki running a hand through his hair, telling him all the things he needed. He’d been without that real warm touch for thirteen years that holding himself made a shaky sob leave. It had been pathetic of him to imagine such things, but the silence got to you after a few years, after he had spent a long time growing bitter. No one could see him anyway, so maybe it hadn’t counted at all, as he thought about those potential blissful moments.

The moments he never got. Perhaps he was still at the train station after all, the slight buzz of the lights being the only noise he could hear. No one laughed with him when he came back. The most he got was a dry chuckle that he happened to witness. There was no one to hold or listen to him. Not a single person smiled at his return. He was alone in the train station he thought he escaped days ago.

Tears blurred his vision as he wrapped his arms around himself. He pushed his body against a wall as he slid down it. The gray wall that accompanied the gray floors and flickering fluorescent lights. The tunnel that didn’t stop seemed to stop his mind. It blocked him in every direction that led to happiness before his murmuring thoughts entered.

It took a moment to realize it wasn’t his thoughts, but rather an echoy version of them. “Wilbur? Is everything okay?”

Wilbur swallowed back a cry. “Yeah,” his voice shook for a moment as he tried to breathe normally. “Sorry I spaced out for a second.” There wasn’t a train station. He wasn’t back there. He was in the bunker. “What were you saying?”

Ghostbur quietly answered, “Nothing. Oh- earlier you said you wanted to take a shower?”

The words brought Wilbur back to a more tangible reality. “Right…” he said with a nod, pushing himself up from the ground, his posture wavering slightly. He swallowed something in his throat. “Are you… Are you okay with that?” he quickly added, “I’ll make it as brisk as I can I promise! It’ll mostly be to wash my hair, and to look and smell just a little more presentable.”

Ghostbur had very little reason to trust him. Wilbur was incredibly aware of that at this point, his promises losing all meaning at his forgetfulness, or plain dishonesty. “Of course. Just- Just don’t take too long please.”

“I won’t,” Wilbur said. “I promise,” he repeated, trying to add as much weight to the words as he could. Engrave them, so his mind wouldn’t drift away from it. To keep his mind from drifting away in general.

Gently he put his clothes aside, placing the familiar old trenchcoat and blouse in a little pile. He had associated the outfit with himself for so long, that looking at it apart from him, was almost surreal. Slowly, he walked into the shower. He put the temperature to be as cold as he could, unsure if there would even be hot water in a bunker like this. It would serve as a good reminder that he should make this quick. “I am going to turn it on now. It’ll… It’ll probably reach my entire body.” 

“Okay…” Ghostbur said. Wilbur caught himself missing the excitement from when they were making the card together. Frivolous. 

He placed his hand on the shower knob and turned it, careful not to let his hand too much under the water. It proved to be a rather needless endeavor though, as his face and body were immediately drenched in cold water. He immediately shivered from the feeling as he felt his movements become jittery and robotic. He heard hurried breaths from his mind, and whimpers of pain, though it was surprisingly silent this time around.

Wilbur let his hand through his hair, massaging his scalp. He grasped some soap next to the shower, and mixed some into his hair and on his body, quickly using the water to wash it off. His heart was beating fast, as he rushed to turn the knob once more, some soap still lingering on a few strands of hair. He bolted to the other side of the room, to dry all the remaining water off with a towel, almost as if the uncomfortably cold water was burning him too. The second he could no longer find a drop he let out a few breaths. “There we go. Done.”

Ghostbur took a moment before he replied, his own breathing calming down as well. “Okay… Okay, that’s good! T-thank you.”

Wilbur cringed slightly at the gratitude, not entirely certain what he was being thanked for. “Of course,” he said quietly, his breathing quite obvious and echo-y in the empty room. He suddenly realized that he missed the ticking of the clock. He shook his head, and put on his clothes again, unsure if the warmth they brought was comfort or something that settled heavier in his chest. He didn’t have time to dwell on it.

He walked out of the room, grabbing the satchel with Michael’s present in it. He glanced at the clock once more, finding that it was only around 5:30am. He stood in the middle of the bunker for a good minute, closing his eyes tightly, and holding on to the sound of the clock. When he opened his eyes once more, they settled on the potions he brewed over the past few days. There weren’t many, but they comforted him nonetheless. He absent-mindedly packed three strength potions into the satchel, perhaps planning on giving some to Tubbo and Ranboo as a gift. 

Then, with determined steps he started walking towards the exit. It felt as if a weight was slightly lifted as he walked out the bunker, though he had grown so used to the weight that he wasn’t sure if that was comforting to him or not. Once he found himself in Pogtopia, he decided to focus on the ground beneath his feet, rather than the buttons lining the walls.

When the sun reached Wilbur’s face, the rays seemed to make his vision less blurry in a sense. The darkness that was so welcoming before, and still called to him, was shoved away in favor of the sunrise.

He remembered right then, when he had declared the first sunrise he saw when he returned, his sunrise. A reminder of life, and opportunity. He stared at the bright sky for a little while. Gently, he placed the satchel on the ground, the glass bottles quietly clinging against each other, and sat down in the grass next to it. He breathed the air into his lungs, as his shoulders untensed. He watched the sunrise intently, as he waited for the party to approach.

[satsuki2406]

OPEN SKY  Bakugou Katsuki x Reader

"...And never, ever forget that, your dreams are the wings that'll help you fly."

(L/N)(Y/N) has always been forced to live according to others' expectations. As a member of the powerful and influential (L/N) Family, she has had to live with the heavy weight of seeing others write her destiny with no choice but just obey. But when (Y/N) finally decides to risk it all to take the only opportunity to regain the control of her own life, everything ends up going horribly wrong. Surrendered and disappointed, she receives one last chance to prove to herself and to U.A, along with some unexpected help that this was not a crazy and meaningless waste of time.

Maybe this plan could work after all...

PAIRING: (Bakugou Katsuki x Reader)

GENRE/WARNINGS: Romance, Fluff, Angst, Mentions of sex, My poor attempt of comedy, family dysfunctionality, Strong language (Courtesy of Lord Explosion Murder ���), Manga Spoilers.

STATUS: On going

Chapter 1: Failure

Chapter 3: Her Start

2-Sometimes the Greatest Hero of All is a Good Friend

“The person you’ve called is unavailable, please leave a-”

“Still no answering…. You said you’ll call me right after the exam (Y/N), I hope everything is ok. What should I do now? Oh! I got it!” Swiftly, slender fingers moved over the tactile screen of her phone, anxious eyes looking for a specific contact. “Found it!” After a few rings, the other end of the line was answered.

“Good afternoon,Mizaki talking. How may I help you today?”

“Hello, may I please speak to (L/N) Xiù-san?”

“I’m sorry. (L/N)-san is busy right now. Would you like to leave a message?”

“Sure, please let her know I’m calling in regard of (Y/N), I would like to know about her.”

“Alright miss, and your name please?”

 “Yaoyorozu Momo.”

Three days have passed since the whole U.A fiasco, you were of course grounded, with no phone, no internet and completely insolated in your room. Your fever was already gone, just leaving behind a really mild sore throat. Although your body didn’t hurt anymore, your heart did, over and over again you replayed the whole thing in your mind beating your head to find out what you could have changed, what you could have done differently. It was eating you inside out. You felt like a failure and so unfortunate. How could you fail over something so silly?!

You’ve been in your bed since you arrived home that day, already numbed by all the crying you did that night, your mom’s complains, and had barely eaten. You knew that in a couple of days the response from U.A will arrive to already tell you what you knew. And after that, you’ll have no choice but go to class again for the last week of school. Thankfully there’s surely nothing you’ll have to catch up with.

But before you could sail deeper in your personal sea of self-petty, a knock on your door took you out of your rambling thoughts.

“Come in,” you said boringly.

“Sorry to disturb you (Y/N)-sama but Yaoyorozu-sama had come to visit you, do you want me to let her in or you prefer to rest a little-”

“Momo?! Oh, yes please, tell her to come in!”

“As you wish, (Y/N)-sama”

A couple of minutes later Momo entered your room escorted by the same maid. She was wearing your school uniform, by her side were two of her bodyguards, on her left, one was caring several paper grocery bags full of what looked like tons of snacks and junk food, on her right another tall and bulky man held a white cake box and some pastel-colored paper bags. You threw yourself to her and hugged her fondly. She gasped surprised by your sudden show of affection, but she immediately returned it with one of her own, melting with you in a tight embrace. “Momoo! *SNIFF* I missed you so much! I’m sorry for not answering your texts and calls but my mom took my phone away.”

“Oh, (Y/N) don’t worry I imagined something like that, I’m so sorry I couldn’t come before, but when I tried to come visit, one of the maids said your mother had prohibited it.”

“Of course she did, she feeds on my suffering” you mumbled sourly.

“Oh, don’t be like that, I know she can be-uhm…”

“Harsh? Insufferable? Unreasonable? A hag-?”

*AHEM! * Strict, she can be strict-yes! But I’m sure that she is doing it all with your best interest in mind, or I hope so…”

“Aha… not even you believe that, by the way, what’s up with all the shopping bags?” At the mention of them, she beamed, star-eyed, cheeks flushed with excitement, recalling her little adventure of the day.  

“Today I went to one of these really incredible, advantageous little stores where you can find anything, anywhere and have a wide variety of products for a fair price.

“You mean a konbini?”

“Yes! They are great, aren’t they? So convenient!”

“I bet they are.”

“They really are! To think that all of this only cost me ¥10 000!*”

“You spent how much?!”

“Oh, it’s nothing! I made sure to get an ample array of different products to enjoy together and, I thought some yummy snacks would cheer you up.”

You felt your heart clench at such sweet declaration from your dearest and oldest friend, she really was the most selfless and caring being you’ve ever met.

“Momo~! Have I ever told you that I’ll be nothing without you~?”

“Yes, and is nice to hear that you value my efforts, even if I can’t do anything to revert the past and change what happened, I can act now, in the present and do as best as I can to make you feel better and let you know that anything that occurred is not your fault, so please don’t think less of you. Sometimes life acts in mysterious ways that maybe we don’t understand, but someday it will make sense and we will know, comprehend and accept why our plans do not always go as we wish. 

And even if it’s hard to accept at first, there are better things waiting for us than we even expected or asked for since the beginning. What I’m trying to say is, please don’t let this unpleasant ordeal take you down, I know that you’re more than capable to be a hero, even more than me, so keep fighting no matter how many times they knock you down, I’m sure you’ll still rise every time. Don’t give up.” Your friend looked at you while she held both of her hands over her chest, her eyes bright, sweet and sincere made her words hit you with more intensity.

“Momo…” you said moved.

“Oh, don’t mind me, I think I got a little sentimental, but anyway! I hope you like what I brought for this occasion-Oh! Kaji-san, Sasaki-san please leave the bags here.” Momo instructed the bodyguards to put them over the center table of the seating area inside your spacious room. After that, they were dismissed and exited the room alongside the same maid that let them in.

Immediately after they left, another one entered your room with a golden vintage-looking bar cart full of all the musts for a proper tea party. A shiny silver tea set was put in the center of the cart, besides it a couple of white golden rimmed China teacups seated cutely surrounded by all kinds of sweet and savory goodies. Under the same cart, a large collection of the most exquisite teas and coffees could be found, most of them brought by your mother herself from her several trips around the globe. As an enthusiast of these drinks, she always made sure to visit the most renowned tea crafter countries to bring the best of the best with her.

“Good afternoon ladies, what would you like to drink?”

“I’ll have tea, that new black tea my mother got last month,” You said.

“Sure! And for you Yaoyorozu-sama?”

“I’ll drink the same, you talked to me about this tea before, right? It sounded so good that I’ve been wanted to try it since then.”

“I’m positive you’ll enjoy it as much as I did! It has a fruity undertone; it goes really well with everything.” You said excitedly.

Once the hot drinks were set and served the maid left the room with the snacks Momo brought to place them in the kitchen for later consuming. Once alone, you could talk more comfortably and privately.

“So… what in heaven you did or said to make my flexible as a rock mother to let you enter into my fortress of loneliness?”

“That’s easy…”

“School Work”

“That’s it?! And what school work?! Next week is the last week of classes, and we already had our final tests. What else could you do that we haven’t already done last week?”

“A lot actually, we still had to receive our final lessons and they gave back our tests’ results and you mother specify clearly and I quote: ‘Although (Y/N) is sick it doesn’t mean I’ll allow her under any circumstances to get delayed on her studies even if the school year is basically over, she must learn discipline and obedience, put in practice what she’s been taught all this time, she evidently hasn’t been taught properly.’

“Why it doesn’t surprise me she said that? Do you-”

“-Have your tests with me right now? Of course, they are part of the reason your mother let me trespass your ‘fortress of loneliness’ Pretty impressive as always, but I guess you couldn’t beat me in math, again.” She smiled.

“Aw! I studied really hard for that exact reason!”

“Don’t worry it was only 5 points-Wow! you were pretty right! This tea is delectable!” Momo said after taking a sip of her cup.

“But still!-I know! Right?”

“Don’t worry though, you’ll have plenty of times in high school”

After Momo’s comment everything came back to your mind, it really felt like a distant memory, at some point you question yourself if it was real, to begin with, it was hard to believe that one single person could have such bad luck in less than 12 hours, every single thing that could go possibly wrong went horrible. And now it was over, you once in a lifetime opportunity slipped from your fingers as soon as it came. And now with your mother aware of your intentions it could be nearly impossible to escape the path that was already set for you.

It's useless now, isn’t it?’

“(Y/N)?”

“Huh?”

Without you knowing, countless tears started rolling down your cheeks, the sadness and frustration scaping out of your body against your will.

“I’m sorry for touching that topic so aggressively, it was so tactless of me to don’t have your feelings on the account.” Said Momo a bit dejected.

“Don’t worry about that Momo, you are already doing so much to make me feel better and I’m so grateful you are here with me right now and, I’ll have to get over it eventually.” Momo frowned, she knew you really well and although she knew your words to her were genuine, you were not ok or dealing well with it at all, maybe if you…

“Do you want to talk about it? You know, vent your frustrations with me? You know you can trust me.” She said while she took your hand reassuringly.

“I know I can trust in you Mocchan, you are my best friend…”

“But?”

“I don’t even know how to put into words how I feel, it’s overwhelming at so many levels! Everything crumbled down so fast than before I could understand what was going on, I blacked out in the middle of battle center trying to save some guy form a 3 pointer, at the end I was the one who needed to be saved. I lost my only chance to make my dreams come true in such a foolish way and I couldn’t do anything about it! I went through so much! I had to wake up at 4:30 every day to train without my mother noticing, I stayed up until 2 am to study and be prepared for the exam, and all of that for nothing! I don’t even know what to do Momo, I feel I going crazy! I’m losing my mind inside these four walls! I feel trapped, hopeless, I just, I just want to disappear…”

An ominous silence invaded the room, you finally could say all that you have been bottling in out all this time. Momo debated what she could say in a situation like this, you really were screwed. But even having knowledge of your situation and its implications, something told her that, even if it was small there is still some hope. Trying to collect her thoughts she closed her eyes and took a deep breath, after a few seconds she opened them again and looked at you with a mix of confidence and faith.

“You know, since we met, I always thought you were the most courageous and aspiring person I’ve ever known. You never gave up, never let the limitations given by your family stopped you from being who you truly were, like a bird who didn’t know about frontiers or bounds, always focused at the horizon, what laid ahead, in the future, your future. Although you knew it was risky, you did it anyway, you took a leap of faith, and even though things didn’t come out as you wanted, you did it, you dared. Failure means that you’ve tried, don’t let failures and errors stop you, but make you stronger. So please, raise your head, stand proudly because a hero can always-”

“-break out of a tough spot, I know. Thank you, Momo.” You looked at your spread palm and closed your eyes for a moment. “It’s true that there’s nothing I can do, It already happened, is in the past and I can’t change it, but, as you said I have the present, the one that matters, the one that’ll help me shape my future, there’s no point on sulking over something that already happened, but I do have control over what’s happening and will happen. The only thing I can do now is wait for my letter, get over it, get a closure. And after that happens, I’ll just try it again, I learned my lesson, if I want to be a strong hero, I have to think in my wellbeing first, If I can’t save myself, I won’t be able to save anybody. I’ll do it at my own pace.” You closed your fist and opened your eyes full of renewed energy and conviction, you looked up at your always trusty friend and gave her your most sincere smile.“I don’t know how but I’ll keep trying, I’ll definitely do it.” Momo smiled back at you sharing your same emotions, grateful to see the same flame invade your eyes and spirit. 

“I know you will.”  

 “…But first, we’ll have some melon pan.*”

“…” 

*¥10,000 are approximately $91,35.

*Melon pan [ メロンパン ] (meronpan): They are sweet buns made with an enriched dough covered in a thin layer of crisp cookie dough. Their appearance resembles a melon (cantaloupe). Ironically they are not usually melon flavored but it can vary from caramel, maple syrup, chocolate, sometimes with syrup, whipped cream, flavored cream or custard as a filling. In the case of such variations, the name may drop the word 'melon' (maple pan) or may keep it despite the lack of melon favor (chocolate melon pan).

[radiowrites]

Unchained Melody

He’s teaching her to drive, why can’t he teach her to dance, too?

A Tale of the Nine Tailed fanfiction, one-shot, 2300 words, complete. Ki Yu Ri/Lee Rang, Pre-Series, Rated T

Read it on: AO3 or below the cut:

“Pull over here,” Rang said. “I’m driving home.”

“Why?” Yu Ri asked.

“I’m just ready to get home in one piece.”

Yu Ri huffed and did as he told, pulling into the small parking lot too quickly, scattering gravel. She didn’t think she was doing that badly, because hey, she had only been driving for three days. Going through that red light was probably the final straw. She thought she’d make it through the yellow. He said that wasn’t how it worked.

She vacated the driver’s seat and stamped her foot as he took the keys. Unmoved, he slid into the car.

“Are you going to continue making a scene?” Rang asked through the open window. “People are watching.”

Not giving her a chance to answer, he started to roll the window up with a smile playing on his lips.

There were five or so people hanging out on the back steps of the building, a single security light casting a sickly yellow glow over them. It looked like a dive bar or a seedy club. They stared at Yu Ri in her pale blue sundress and platform sandals. She felt overdressed, and she considered this one of her simple outfits. Who knows what they thought of Rang, who always looked like he had stepped off a fashion runway.

One woman’s eyes widened when Yu Ri lifted her upper lip in irritation. Yu Ri assumed the woman would later explain away the fangs she had seen as a side effect of the alcohol.

Yu Ri tossed her long brown hair and rapped on the glass with her knuckles. “Maybe I’ll walk,” she said loudly.

He shrugged and put the car into drive.

Would he really leave her there? With what Yu Ri actually was, Rang would know she was in absolutely no danger. Which meant she wouldn’t put it past him. She scurried around the front of the car and jumped into the passenger seat.

Once safely settled in, she threw him a dirty look. Taking the wheel wasn’t really about them getting hurt in an accident as much as damaging the car, wasn’t in? She put her feet up on the dash, letting her dress shift and bare her thighs. He looked over at her with reproach and she grinned. He was an easily distracted driver. Where did he think she learned it from?

Instead of watching him drive—which would have been good practice, in theory—she picked up her phone. In this day and age, it was pretty easy to learn to be human, Yu Ri had to admit. Humans uploaded videos of everything. All their life stages. All their big events. She could pull up a video of the simplest things. People talking. People laughing. Manners at a restaurant and etiquette when invited to someone’s home. Families. Couples.

Yu Ri acted like watching these things were part of her pass-as-a-human curriculum, but they had become more to her. When she laid down at night the videos replayed in her head, except she found herself in them, truly a part of the mundane moments. These were happy dreams, far better than her usual ones. They weren’t something she could share with Rang. He wanted her to pass as human and yet believe herself above them. It was a hard line to walk for her, and she couldn’t conceive what it was like for an actual half-human like him.

But when she woke after such a dream, she was immediately reminded how far she still had to go before she could truly blend in. Right now she was just playing a foolish game. Oh sure, she had picked up the language well enough. She was able to dress herself now. But, sometimes she forgot to use the utensils at the table. People involuntarily stepped away when she stood too close. Baring her teeth at the woman in the parking lot wasn’t her only indiscretion. The other day she had growled at someone on the subway. She was pretty sure the guy had liked it though, and that was way worse.

All in all, she was doomed to fail at this, she was certain. But she still wanted to try.

Yu Ri shoved her phone at Rang with a video playing. “This is dancing, right?”

He didn’t look away from the road. “Sure.”

She pouted, pulling the phone back. The two figures flowed across the floor, hands on shoulders and waists, eyes trained on each other. She started the clip over and watched it again. Yu Ri swayed slightly in her seat, mimicking the movement the best she could.

“I want to try this,” she said.

“I don’t dance.”

She looked over at him with raised eyebrows. “Six-hundred-years-old and you can’t dance?”

“I said I don’t, not I can’t.”

She rolled the words on her tongue. She didn’t think there was that much of a difference, but she would remember it for the future.

Rang pulled into the parking garage of the apartment. Yu Ri dutifully studied the way he parked the car. Pulled the key. Looked over at her with his dark eyes. Her gaze fell back down to her phone. Okay, maybe she was just watching him instead of his actions.

“If you’re going to pick up a hobby, we can find you an instructor,” he said.

“You’d trust me with a stranger? What if I do something not-human?”

“Then I’ll erase a few memories and get a good laugh out of it.”

He got out of the car and she followed, sullen.

 Yu Ri dropped onto one end of the sectional sofa. She wasn’t done yet.

“You’re teaching me to drive,” she said. “How is that any different?”

“You probably should have an actual instructor for that, too.”

She tapped her bare feet on the floor, thinking for another approach. “I could probably find a dance partner at that bar,” she said.

Sitting on the opposite end of the sofa, absently on his phone, Rang ignored her.

Rude.

She picked up her own phone and tried to continue the last video. The description said it was a type of waltz. She really had no idea. She turned up the sound and peered over the phone to see if it had an effect on him.

Rang’s eyes flickered over to her. Ran his hand through his dark hair as he set the phone down. Leaned back and closed his eyes.

Fine. She would give it up, for now. If Rang didn’t want to do something, he was unmovable. And the bar had really been an empty threat. She had a sneaking suspicion the night would end with her needing to be picked up at the police station and him laughing at her.

Nothing said she couldn’t continue her own research though.

Four or seven videos later—she had lost track as she kept following the next suggestion—the dances had become a lot less structured. She had apparently wandered right out of ballroom dancing. Most of these didn’t look like professionals as much as just normal people caught on camera. Just basic slow dancing at parties. Yu Ri worried at her lip with her teeth. The dances had become less sensual and more sexual. Guilt for trespassing onto their secret worlds and desiring to be in their shoes washed over her. She had never felt that way before.

Eyeing Rang, who seemed to have dozed off, the question about guilt died on her tongue. He wouldn’t be able to answer it anyway. But now, she realized why he refused to dance with her. Dancing wasn’t just a sport or a means of exercise. Humans danced with people they loved, too.

Yu Ri stood up and set her phone down gently, tilting it so she could still see the screen. Her body rocked back and forth, imitating the dancers. Her hands grasped at air, but if she thought really hard, she could imagine someone was there, supporting her as she moved slowly across the floor. Being able to envision something that wasn’t really happening was like being in a dream.

She remembered a few times in her past when she had managed to close her mind and make the pain fade away. Back then, there had been no words in her vocabulary for imagination and dreams.

The lyrics of the song playing held no meaning to her, only the slow but steady tempo. Yu Ri closed her eyes as she gently twirled, her feet gliding across the floor. Her dress billowed out around her as she instinctively avoided the low table.

Her empty hands met silky fabric and her eyes flew open as she was guided through the spin. One of her hands naturally grasped at his shoulder, the other was furled into his chest as his hand slid down her back. She swayed with him, slowly rotating, uncertain if she was still in a reverie.

No, this was real. The rapid beat of her heart grounded her. From the exertion, she told herself.

“Loosen your grip on my shoulder, Yu Ri,” Rang said softly. “Leaving bruises isn’t recommended.”

She nodded, concentrating on lifting her fingers and relaxing the iron hold. He took the hand she had clenched into his chest. Releasing his shoulder, she spun away from him like she had seen in one of the videos, held together by their intertwined fingers. Like a thread of fate, she followed it back to him. Her back was now to his chest, and her arm crossed her breasts, their still locked fingers at her hip. His breath was on her neck, and her face was hot. From the exercise, of course.

“I thought,” she said, tripping over her words, “you don’t dance.” At least her feet didn’t betray her.

“I didn’t say I can’t,” he replied, soft laughter in his voice.

She could not remember any more moves she had wanted to incorporate. Perhaps another time, since she already made a mess of perfectly formed dance routines anyway.

There wouldn’t be another time, but the first thought was nicer.

She twirled in his arms so they were face to face again and their steps became slower, smoother. She could sense the atmosphere changing. Their diameter of movement kept shrinking, and she thought he had stiffened slightly when she reached up and draped her arms around his neck. There was a pause before his hands slid to her hips, framing her, holding her. She hadn’t been so close to him in awhile. His scent made her think of ancient forests and tranquil ponds, though she had never been to either. Maybe he’d take her to the place of his childhood one day.

The day she was able to easily decipher Rang’s expressions would be a huge breakthrough indeed. Despite her constant line of questions when it came to human emotions, the concept of love had come up only once. So she had turned to the internet, and that, in all reality, hadn’t helped her much either. Did she love Rang because he had saved her? Did she love him like the family she had never had? Did she love him like a potential mate?

Yu Ri knew, deep down, the word love fit in there somewhere for her, even if she couldn’t pinpoint it down to which one. But Rang had already made it ultimately clear that he wasn’t interested in the word love, in any form. Their relationship was safe. If she tried to ask for something different, he would pull away.

His hands shifted, supporting her back, and he dipped her. She gasped, certain they’d fall despite his cocky smile. Her dark hair streamed out beneath her as she held tighter around his neck. Their eyes locked for a moment before he righted her.

“Nicely done,” Rang said. “Seems like you’re a natural.”

She couldn’t stop the grin from settling on her face. She’d never been a natural at something, especially when it came to human anything. She doubted any of the professionals she had been watching earlier would agree with him, but she would accept the compliment graciously.

The moment broke when the music on her phone changed to something harsh and jarring. Frustrated, her hands unwound from his neck. She knew she had been pushing the limit of how long she could hold him anyway.

Yu Ri picked up her phone and scoffed softly as she turned off the video. Such a little thing could bring her running just because the sound was annoying. She might have been an untamed creature in the not too distant past, but she was quickly domesticating.

When she turned back, he had already left the room. She bit back the urge to call out to him, instead sinking onto the sofa.

Behind her, the jangle of keys made her jump. Her heart sank.

“I’m going for a drive,” Rang said. “Call me if you need anything.”

She nodded, though she didn’t know if he had waited for her acknowledgment as the door clicked behind him. She keenly felt the fact she hadn’t been invited.

The sudden silence hit her hard. She turned the first video back on for just the music, turning up the volume more than before. Why did he decide to dance with her after the initial rejection? The melody, haunting now, was a good companion for her mood.

There was nothing domesticated about Rang. He was always in fight or flight mode. He would revert back to wild in a heartbeat, wouldn’t he? If he deemed she was becoming too attached to him, would she be sent on her way? Did he expect that to happen eventually?

She wouldn’t let that happen, Yu Ri thought as she stood up to continue dancing alone.

[fenris]

the inquisitor and da4

Before delving into things, I’d like to make it clear that I’m not trying to rag on the Trespasser DLC in any way. In fact, I really enjoyed it. I also know that there was a quote floating around here from someone with Bioware who apparently stated that the Inquisitor won’t be playable in the next game (I can’t find the source or the exact quote right now), but I just wanted to give my two cents anyway.

How did the Trespasser DLC ensure that the Inquisitor would no longer be the playable protagonist? If anything, it only gave me the impression that the Inquisitor would be playing a major role in the next game. Wasn’t Trespasser being advertised as the ‘end’ of the Inquisition? I’m not saying they should have killed the Inquisitor off, but that would at least have been a definite ending to the Inquisitor’s story and would have effectively barred them off as the main character in Dragon Age 4. 

Having the Inquisitor return would make sense because, in a way, they are partially responsible for Solas:

Inquisitor: This war proved that we can’t go back to the way things were. I’ll try to help this world move forward.

Solas: You would risk everything you have in the hope that the future is better? What if it isn’t? What if you wake up to find that the future you shaped is worse than what was?

Inquisitor: I’ll take a breath, see where things went wrong, and then try again.

Solas: Just like that?

Inquisitor: If we don’t keep trying, we’ll never get it right.

Solas: You’re right. Thank you. You have not been what I expected, Inquisitor. You have… impressed me. You have offered hope that if one keeps trying, even if the consequences are grave, that someday, things will be better.

While Solas was already planning to destroy the world by allowing Corypheus to find his orb, his plans were foiled when Corypheus didn’t actually die. Thus, he was forced to find another way to regain his power. The Inquisitor inspired Solas to keep trying to rectify his mistakes. So yes, the consequences of doing so will be grave, but he must persist to make up for creating the Veil, no matter what. That being said, the Inquisitor cannot directly be blamed for what Solas is planning, but they should feel at least feel that it is their duty to stop him and once again save the world.

Sure, Leliana and the Inquisitor both agree that it would be best to find people that Solas doesn’t know since he is familiar with all of their faces and tactics, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that the Inquisitor will be staying on the sidelines while someone new goes after him. When speaking to Solas at the end of the DLC, the Inquisitor makes it sound like they will personally find a way to stop Solas from destroying the world:

Inquisitor: You don’t have to destroy the world. I’ll prove it to you.

Solas: I welcome the chance to be wrong once again, my friend.

OR Inquisitor: If I live, I’m coming to stop you.

Solas: I know.

To me, Solas’ response to the first option even sounds like a direct invitation for the Inquisitor to try. Also, wouldn’t it make more sense narratively to have the Inquisitor confront Solas at the end of the next game? I think it would be likely that Solas would respond more positively to the Inquisitor than to someone he doesn’t really know. If you manage to get Solas’ approval high enough, he even tells you that he has great respect for the Inquisitor, so obviously, if anyone could persuade him, it’d be them. 

Solas even likens himself to the Inquisitor:

Solas: I was Solas first. “Fen’Harel” came later... An insult I took as a badge of pride. The Dread Wolf inspired hope in my friends and fear in my enemies... Not unlike “Inquisitor,” I suppose.

Solas: You also know the burden of a title that all but replaces your name.

Wouldn’t it be more fitting, then, for them to be the one actively working to find and confront Solas once and for all? Not to mention that having the Inquisitor be the one to face Solas in DA4 would also offer more closure to those who romanced him.

All Bioware really did was have the Inquisitor lose the forearm that the Anchor was attached to. Don’t tell me they expect us to believe that losing an arm means they can no longer go after Solas. Dragon Age is a series that has magic, dragons, elves... need I go on? My point is, implying that it’s not realistic for the Inquisitor to be returning as the playable protagonist in DA4 merely because of what happened to their arm is ridiculous. They can’t think of a way to give the Inquisitor some sort of prosthetic that will help them fight? Dagna exists! If anyone can invent something that can help the Inquisitor, it would be Dagna. Cullen even says that Dagna "crafts the impossible every day,” so... there you go. 

I know some think that DA4 will give you the choice to have either the new protagonist or the Inquisitor confront Solas, but that seems unlikely. Having the Inquisitor decide for your character or having the protagonist tell the Inquisitor what to do won’t be very gratifying. If anything, I can see Bioware coming up with a scenario in which the protagonist and the Inquisitor both confront Solas, which will result in the protagonist having to battle Solas with assistance from the Inquisitor. That would be a very cheap and cliché ending, if I’m being honest. I know that Bioware isn’t really one for originality, and their writing tends to contradict itself quite a bit, but I want to give them the benefit of doubt.

I’m also aware that the tradition for the Dragon Age series is that each game will have a new protagonist, but honestly if Bioware wanted that to happen, they shouldn’t have ended Trespasser the way they did. It was too open-ended to keep the Inquisitor from returning as the main protagonist. I hope that I don’t give the impression that I’m just really attached to the Inquisitor (the Warden is my favorite hero, personally). All I’m saying is that it would make for a much interesting and compelling story if the Inquisitor were to continue as the main character in the next game. 

[monchikyun]

III. coffee and cigarettes

Nothing good lasts forever and so even Connor’s short vacation comes to an early end, making him wish he had an excuse to take some more. He has plenty left too, never really having the need to spend more than what’s mandatory. The prospect of keeping himself a sole company for very long doesn’t much appeal to him. Too afraid of the brain rot that would make a space for his internalised guilt to fully manifest. 

There is never anything to do but to waste his free day away talking to his four-legged friend who doesn’t seem to even enjoy their one-sided conversations. He could busy himself with countless tasks but what’s the point when no one’s here to witness it. 

Sometimes he gets to hang out with his friends, rarely he’s ever lucky enough to pass the time with the one person who can make him smile, who can make him realise that there is more to him than the hurt corroding his insides. It happened only once, actually. 

Somehow he persuaded Gavin to join him for their walk to a dog park, though it wasn’t all that impressive of a feat. He likes to replay that day sometimes, a great way to fill the void in his mind that comes to visit whenever he has problems initiate sleep-mode. It was back in October, the sky was an ethereal shade of blue and the trees turned into a display of a non-lethal fire-show. All the reds and oranges towering over them and shedding pieces of their transcendent beauty on the ground for them to to do with as they please. He stole one. An oddly-shaped maple leaf hidden between pages of the book he won’t ever read. Of course, he gave one, too. And that was when he first fell something shift inside of his heart. The first time he ever wanted to kiss someone.

---

“Hey, tin can.”

“Good morning to you too, detective.”

The titles they call each other have lost their initial meaning and morphed into something that provides familiar comfort. Nicknames, perhaps.

Connor smiles with his eyes, not daring to show something more lest it gets misinterpreted by the wrong people. Because he has no right to be happy, least here of all places.

He scans the empty desk that used to be Hank’s work-space. Still empty. Several personal items belonging to a stranger, hair that isn’t Sumo’s but came out of some other dog. There is nothing left of his old friend anymore. Devoid of anything that matters to him.

Gavin watches his line of sight, he’s painfully aware of that. Their desks are stuck to each other now since they share all of their cases and therefore it’s convenient to be this close. It’s convenient to psyche. He’s glad he doesn’t have to face his failures on daily basis like that, now that detective Reed keeps him almost constant company. Maybe he should tell him how grateful he is,… someday.

❄️ ❄️ ❄️

There is a fresh coffee on his desk, one that Gavin hasn’t made for himself. A ritual that keeps repeating every work-day. He only asked the one time, back when he still couldn’t stand Connor and all the other plastics, yet he got nothing but some preprogrammed phrase then. Thinking about it now, maybe he shouldn’t have punched the android. His fist ached like a bitch and knowing Connor, he probably received zero damage from that feeble attack. God, he hated him at that time. Hated that there was no life hiding behind that pretty face and that he was powerless to do anything about it. He didn’t believe that androids had the potential to become something more than glorified computers, let alone human. It was Connor who showed him that being alive isn’t defined by the components or material one is made out of. It’s what one does that counts. The behaviours reserved only for those possessing free will. 

It took him a month to be fully convinced that Connor just might be more of a full-fledged person than Gavin could ever be. Three more and he fell flat in the dark pit of no return. 

It isn’t that loving Connor is an inconvenience or something he could live without, but he’d rather had his teeth pulled out one by one than to go another day knowing that his feelings will never be returned. That it will always be his fault for being such an unlovable bastard.

Drinking the pleasantly scalding coffee helps a little. It reminds him that Connor cares, to some extent. The fact that he takes the time of his day just so Gavin can have his daily dose of caffeine without having to lift a finger warms him through and through. It plants a tiny seed of hope to his heart.

He never asks but he always thanks him. Words of gratitude whispered underneath his breath, comprehensible only to the person who deserves to hear them.

Usually, he’d take the cup outside to compliment his morning smoke, but Connor is sitting in his chair a little too stiffly, his eyes wandering off somewhere distant. Not even his gratitude got acknowledged today. He gets like that more often that Gavin would like. Reversing back to his old self, to a time when human-like expressions were still foreign to him. It breaks his heart a little every time he gets reminded that nothing will be able to undo the damage done, that Connor will bear his trauma forever, …possibly. Gavin would always stay quiet, not finding the right things to say or do. Not today.

“I’m gonna go outside… to take a… breath.”

He isn’t sure Connor even registers his words.

“You… wanna go with?”

Still nothing.

“Connor.”

He stands up and gets as close as possible without trespassing the unspoken borders between them.

“Come with me, please.”

Their eyes meet for a split second and before he can catch up to the present moment they are already halfway out of the door.

Maybe he should use the magic word more often.

---

A blissful smoke fills his lungs, clouding over the pain and uncertainty that put him here in the first place. He relies on this wonderfully horrible sensation too much, but it’s better than the alternative.

“Liar.”

Yeah, he isn’t going to win any honesty awards in the near future, that’s for sure. But at least Connor is back to his old irreplaceable self, or he acts like he is.

There is a day old snow piled on the grassy patch beside the wall, reminding him of the photo Connor sent him yesterday. Of the tears and the desperation. How he wanted nothing but to be held by his friend. And now, when they’re so just inches apart, he’s too afraid to even look at him. He couldn’t just casually hug him without it meaning anything, because to Gavin, it would be worth everything. And if he lost that again,… no amount of nicotine would ever be enough to put him back together.  

“Must suck not having an unhealthy coping habit to solve all your problems.”

He can’t even begin to imagine what Connor must be going through.

“I wish you wouldn’t...” His cigarette gets forcibly removed from his mouth, the implications of which don’t translate to his ape brain right away, so his jaw is stuck to the ground while he watches Connor study the stolen smoke like it’s something he’s never seen before. “… have one.”

“Give it back.” He tries to get it back with his grabby fingers but Connor stops him by doing something even more unexpected.

He puts the whole cigarette in his mouth and makes some weird movements with his jaw. And just like that, the tube disappears.

The freaky bitch must have swallowed it whole.

He blinks rapidly to clear the brain fog suddenly threatening to limit his intelligence.

“What.”

Connor is towering in front of him without Gavin having any say about this scary development. His soft hands are holding Gavin by the shoulders like he wants to shake the soul of him, and maybe he does, because he looks him dead in the eye and quietly says:

“I don’t ever want to lose my unhealthy coping mechanism.”  

Connor’s fingers are boring into his jacket, probably damaging the leather, but all he cares about is the hurtful expression splitting him in half with an intent intensity.

Gavin has a million words lodged inside his throat, his own hands itching to return the contact. But there is never enough time to get his act together and put aside his inner coward.

“Sorry.” 

The touch is but a memory now as Connor is leaving him in alone in the cold place. The android even felt the need to apologise, like he did something wrong. That won’t do.

“Wait.” Gavin grabs him by the wrist, stops him in his tracks. His hands slide down on its own, a behaviour he doesn’t approve of but is unable to oppress. He can feel his own fingers trembling as they wrap around Connor’s ever so tentatively.

“You won’t get rid of me that easily.”

 He wishes he didn’t face the android’s back so he knew whether to take that promise back.

He wishes his voice didn’t crack so he could spare himself an ounce of embarrassment.

But most of all, he wishes Connor didn’t clutch his hand this hard so he could let go and pretend nothing that out of the ordinary has happened between them. 

@a-convin-new-year sorry it’s late ;D

[theharellan]

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.

fill out & repost ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm. tagged by: stolen from @dansiere tagging: @ghiassan, @deathsreflection, @altuspavus, @windrunnerrs (velanna), @hopewrought, @willbeshot, @seahaloed (iron bull), @asterfed​ (noctis), @ anyone who wants to steal it! also multis feel free to choose a different character

My muse is:   canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless / complicated (i’m open to roleplaying with non-dragon age characters, and have AUs for other fandoms)

Is your character popular in the fandom? YES / NO. solas is both wildly popular and wildly hated. he’s been more consistently popular than the controversial women in the series, like sera or vivienne, who have only recently begun to get to the point where their tags are less vitriolic (although i’m sure it’s still out there), but there’s still a sizable hatedom that can’t have his name breathed in their vicinity w/o them talking abt how much they hate him. even if you’re currently cosplaying him!

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK. again, you have ppl who are super into him and ppl who think he’s ugly. my personal opinion is that i think he’s weirdly pretty, and wish ppl would commit more to his unconventional features rather than try to chisel him into sb more traditionally attractive and that ppl who don’t find him attractive would maybe chill w/ calling him ugly. find him unattractive by all means, but lets embrace the fact that inquisition let their love interests have skin flaws etc and accept that some won’t be our cups of tea.

Is your character considered strong in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK. its hard to deny at this point tbh.

Are they underrated?  YES / NO / IDK. frustrating as the hate in the tags he has enough fans that i couldnt say he’s underrated w/ a straight face.

Were they relevant for the main story?  YES / NO. he’s the reason the game starts with a bang and not the inevitable dissolution of the conclave b/c the sides are disparate.

Were they relevant for the main character? YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG. regardless of solas’ relationship with the inquisitor, there are parallels and contrasts in their stories and he also is the reason they survive inquisition.

Are they widely known in their world? YES / NO. fen’harel is well-known and revered, if feared, among the dalish, yet at the same time he’s not remembered for a lot besides locking the gods away-- and the context of that decision has also been lost. as solas he’s relatively unknown until inquisition and especially trespasser.

How’s their reputation?  GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL. again, polarising!! he has loyal agents and people are willing to speak well of him despite everything, including his enemies sometimes (depending mostly on the inquisitor). 

How strictly do you follow canon?  — generally i try to have a canon basis for my interpretation, even if i interpret the text differently than the author.

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals.  —  solas is an immortal who is simultaneously jaded and very much invested in the small moments of life. far from being weary of the day-to-day lives of ordinary people, it is systems and orders he is most tired of. he walks an interesting line that feels far less misanthropic than other immortal characters i’ve experienced, yet still he’s quite cynical. as a character who has fought against religious based tyranny before, but in a completely different era, he is in a unique position where what he sees around him is both horrifyingly familiar and yet completely new. it allows an exploration of the wrongs of thedas’ society from an outsider’s perspective. his motivations are complex and multifaceted, often condemnable and yet also understandable. his character arc in inquisition (if befriended, or regardless in the case of my solas) takes him from a dispassionate, disconnected antagonist to someone deeply invested in the people of thedas, deeply conflicted and actively hoping he will be proven wrong again. i think his story is a testament to human (or elven, or dwarven, or-) connection and how even when we resist we can’t resist creating bonds with the people in our lives. i personally see this bond going beyond the inquisitor hence why i play low-approval solas as conflicted as high-approval, if not when it comes to the inquisitor.

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?).  —  solas is selfish and motivated solely by revenge, he’s clinging to a past that clearly no longer exists, if you ignore all the people from it who are still alive. he’s totally unaware of all his flaws and never owns up to any mistakes ever. no, i haven’t listened to a single word solas has said in my life why do you ask. he’s also critical of my faves which means he’s #cancelled, there is clearly no validity to what he’s saying. ksjdf no but in all seriousness i think a lot of reasons ppl don’t find solas interesting are just... weird readings of his character that sometimes have no basis in the text of inquisition, but also there are plenty of perfectly valid reasons to not find him interesting. usually those ppl don’t like... talk abt how much they don’t find him interesting constantly tho. they just chill and aren’t invested in this particular villain. for one thing i think the game missed out on opportunities for exploring how someone who may not have even had a body at the beginning of his existence would feel about gender and sexuality, so making him presumably straight and cis was a boring choice. i also think that the dragon age games being very protagonist-centric hurts solas’ character, there’s no real reason why the inquisitor is the only one who can throw his plans into question but making the player the center of the universe means he’s not allowed to change due to the effects of other companions or NPCs. thank god this is rp and i do what i want.

What inspired you to rp your muse?  —  i have a history degree so when the inquisition companions were being teased, solas describing bias in primary sources from the memories he’s seen got me interested in him. but my first playthrough i didn’t actually take him with me all too often, i think my main party was dorian-blackwall-varric. i liked him, and i think he or dorian were my first friends in skyhold, but my initial interest was in other characters. between his dialogue that appealed to the historian in me tho and how his spirit opinions sort of turned everything i’d felt about spirits in the last two games on its head, i started vibing with him more the farther i went in. like merrill set me up for the “spirits are people” thing and solas hit it out of the park. then temple of mythal happened, and i did bring solas with me there. i found his dialogue fascinating and also suspicious, i’d just finished masked empire like the day before da:i came out so i definitely thought solas was an ancient elf in the same vein as felassan. it was after temple of mythal that i actually decided to make his blog, although like as one idk linchpin to cement my status as solas trash... i was hit BAD by the banter bug on my first playthrough, probably got like a dozen banters total. but then at some point late in the game i took solas to the forbidden oasis and he wouldn’t stop talking to people, and i really loved his banter with the rest of my party at the time.

What keeps your inspiration going?  —  replaying inquisition, new DA content when the bioware gods deign to grant us a lifeline, but the biggest thing is my rp partners. i wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for the people i write with, new and old. my activity of late hasn’t been the best, work and the summer heat has really been sapping me of energy, and does even during years when we aren’t going through a pandemic. but it’s the thought of my rp partners and love of solas that keeps me coming back.

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice?  YES / NO / I SINCERELY HOPE I DO? i have my doubts sometimes, but i think i do ok.

Do you frequently write headcanons?  YES / NO / SORT OF? there is no headcanon too small for me.

Do you sometimes write drabbles?  YES / NO. but not lately * gestures to the low activity * i’ve been in this cycle where i get anxious abt late replies, so prioritise them, then burn myself out and can’t write the fics i want. i’ve had two i’ve been DYING to write tho i just... need to find the space in my brain to let myself.

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day? YES / NO. i mean it depends on the day. if i work closing shifts at my store it gets very quiet and boring around 8:30 so i spent the next 90 minutes thinking about character stuff.

Are you confident in your portrayal?  YES / NO / SORT OF? 

Are you confident in your writing?  YES / NO / SOMETIMES. 

Are you a sensitive person?  YES / NO / SORTA.

Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal?  —  i’m going to say ‘no’ because like, i don’t ask for criticism. this is a hobby based on my interpretation of a character, if you think i write solas too soft then you’re welcome to think that, but i’m happy with the balance i’ve struck with his internal versus external behaviour and how he changes based upon who he’s speaking to. if you think i’m erasing straight people by making solas pan then ksjdfs. ok.

Do you like questions, which help you explore your character?  —  yes!!! even if they retread ground already trodden, a) my interpretation may have adjusted since the last time i played or b) a reminder is nice. if it’s new stuff then it’s fun to think about.

If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why?  —  it’d depend on why they disagree. if they just disagree on a subjective opinion about what i took from a certain line, then they’re welcome to their opinion but i don’t necessarily care to hear it. if it is unintentionally hurtful then i would like to know. although rather than a comment i’d rather a non-anonymous message.

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it?  —  same as the above.

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it?  —  if they’re vocal about it i typically just unfollow / softblock if i was following in the first place. people can feel how they want about solas, but i’ve found over the years that if people really hate solas ooc it can often bleed into their ic interactions. it’s really weird seeing your character being brought up repeatedly in threads with others specifically to dunk on, for no reason other than i guess solas is living rent free in their heads, so at least we have that in common. but anyway unfollowing is just the best choice to avoid getting kinda pressed if i’m having a bad day.

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors?  —  roleplay is the wild west of writing, so i think it’d depend on what the error was. coming at me like “you shouldn’t start a sentence with a preposition” would get a laugh, but i don’t edit my replies much if at all and mistakes will 100% happen. pointing out typos is chill so long as you do it politely.

Do you think you are easy going as a mun?   —  it depends! i’ve learned that being too easy going actually just means i’m subjecting myself to negative emotions to please people. so i’ve gotten less easy going as the years go by. how does one define “easy going” anyway? does asking that question mean i am objectively not easy going? the longer this thought goes on the more the answer seems to be “probably not,” but i like to think it could be a lot worse.

[wardencommanderrodimiss]

The Witches of Los Angeles, Chapter 1: I am apparently not wasting any time starting in on the next installment of this saga!

[ao3] [Seelie of Kurain masterlist]

“But what if, even after all of this, I make it to the end, and nobody will hire me? That nobody’s willing to work with a teenage attorney and I just – can’t do anything because I don’t have anywhere to go?”

“That’s a lot of ‘ifs’ there, kiddo. But if – if – you get your badge, do your searching, can’t find a single office in the LA area willing to take on a prodigy – then there’s always my office. It’s sure as hell not a law office right now, but it’d give you a space to work out of.”

-

It’s a bad time for the phone to ring. Even if Edgeworth was still in Europe, he’s always been good at working around the time difference (and he knew that at the odd hours of the night, even if Phoenix was awake, he’d be in the basement of the club with no reception) and never just called at a time that would make Phoenix panic. And it can’t be Maya or Pearls, with no sense of time, because he worked with Iris (the only one of them who understood human needs for sleep) to put an enchantment on his phone that stopped them from calling him about things that weren’t life-threatening at 2 am.

In the time it takes him to fumble for his phone, he has gone through the options: Trucy snuck out and got arrested for underage drinking or trespassing or arson or whatever teen girls do to have fun in the small hours of the morning. Edgeworth got murdered staying too late at his office. Apollo got into some sort of trouble, though Phoenix’s imagination has never been able to figure out what Apollo would be doing out and in trouble at this hour (though if he really considers possibilities, Klavier is probably also involved). Or Thalassa had something happen to her, or she found out what lost, forbidden knowledge he and Maya have been chasing for the sake of her soul and with no regard for time wants to yell at him.

Bleary-eyed, he doesn’t check the caller ID and simply answers. “Phoenix Wright speaking.”

“Mr Wright! Mr Wright! I passed! I passed!”

Or, the option he hadn’t considered. “Time zones, please,” he groans, resting his face back against his pillow. “It’s two am and – wait.” He sits back up, blinking at the dark room like written somewhere in it will be something to help him replay the words she just said. “You passed?”

“The Bar results came today! I passed! Athena Cykes, barred and badged attorney at the ready! I’ve got a flight booked tomorrow and stuff packing now! Vámonos!”

Oh, god. Athena never lets him forget that she lives her entire life in a frantic rush. “Slow down, kiddo,” he says, knowing that she absolutely will not but feeling obligated to try to make her do so anyway. “Do you have somewhere you’re working? A place to live?”

“No to the second, yes to the first.”

“Well, that’s probably something you should do before you come back. I can give you a hand, but you shouldn’t have too much trouble finding a place.” There are always cheap available apartments in a city built this close to faery hills – or mountains, as it is. The unpredictable, not-typical-SoCal weather would probably be enough to send people running, but Phoenix also has a theory that the city itself has enough of a life force that it decides what people it doesn’t want and gives them little mental nudges to make them leave. (To the people it does want, it gives cheap rent and depression.)

“So where are you working?” he adds. He doesn’t know every defense attorney in the city, but he knows of most of them. (Athena’s a sharp, emotionally intelligent kid. He doesn’t need to vet her entire career for her. She’d figure out quick enough if she was working for someone nasty.)

“Uh, have you forgotten, and isn’t it obvious – Boss?”

Phoenix manages not to swear out loud, which he thinks is rather impressive of him, all things considered. His mind racing, he tries to remember if he ever directly offered Athena a job or simply positioned himself as the backup-backup plan, the last resort, because he isn’t a boss or a mentor and all he knows how to be is the shelter that collects stray kids fucked up and fucked over by fae magic where he can’t do much worse to them than has already been done. And Athena isn’t one of them.

(Isn’t she?)

No, Athena shouldn’t be here.

And then what he says is, “Ah. Right,” as his mouth once again keeps going ahead of his brain. “You know,” he adds, knowing that it’s probably too late but needing to try, “you don’t have to just charge in like this. You can look for other places instead of just coming with me because I was the first option. You’ve got time. It’s not like there’s some kind of door that’s about to slam in your face.”

Midlife crisis before she’s out of her teens, that’s the impression that she gives him. Like she thinks her entire life will be useless if she doesn’t have a badge and a certain number of cases under her belt before she turns nineteen. Like there’s an end line she’s afraid of tripping over that no one else can see, but because she’s a damn kid Phoenix is terrified she’s going to get chewed up like Franziska and Klavier and Sebastian all were, ripped apart and rearranged by the heartless, manipulative people who stood behind them.

(And Athena doesn’t have one of those, not now, not yet, but Phoenix doesn’t have any reservations about what he is, what even more he could be.)

“I can do stuff now, so I’m gonna do it! Also the plane ticket can only be canceled 24 hours in advance, and the flight is closer than that, so I really can’t stop now.”

Knowing that she can’t see him, Phoenix still shakes his head. “And where are you planning on staying until you find housing?” he asks.

He might be able to guess the answer to this one, too. And that is its own can of worms for him to lie in, but if she’s working at the Agency, then – well, he can keep an eye on her but still distance himself, and she’ll have Apollo to show her the ropes. She could learn a lot from him, and he from her. It might – scratch that, it would definitely – be good for Apollo to have another lawyer to work with. And he knows that Apollo, unlike most others, shouldn’t be too freaked out by Athena’s powers. No one’s normal at the WAA. Maybe it is the best place for Athena, in spite of himself.

(No, he’s going to need to repeat that to himself a few hundred more times before he believes it.)

“So Trucy kinda said that maybe I could crash on your couch? Or her bedroom floor. Or the fire escape! I mean, all I really need is a shower and a flat surface, and I guess I’m gonna get a gym membership and they’ll have showers, so I could sleep at the office too!”

“I am not going to make you sleep at the office,” Phoenix says. Mia wouldn’t allow him to do that. “I’m not sure where you would hang your clothes, anyway.”

“Is that – is that you being cool with Trucy’s floor?”

Is it? He’s lost on everything else so far he’s tried to bargain with Athena on. “Living room couch. She’s got school, and you’ve got a law career, and I know you’ll be talking to the middle of the night like it’s a sleepover if you stay in the same room.”

“Thank you! Thanks so much!”

“And you’re gonna be looking for apartments from the start, but I think that goes without saying.”

“Definitely. I wasn’t planning on couchsurfing forever. I mean, mostly because you’re the only option I have.”

“What, you haven’t asked Edgeworth?” He at least would have a spare bedroom, though Athena would probably eat him out of the house in a day.

“Wait, I could? Unless there’s like – there’s not any rules against a defense attorney bunking with a prosecutor, right?”

If there are rules like that, then Phoenix and Edgeworth have already broken most of them. There are very few actual rules, and Phoenix has broken most of those too. “No, though you’d be bunking with the Chief Prosecutor now, you know.”

“Oh man, really? I keep thinking about how I’ve come so far since I met you two, but I guess you’ve both come a long ways too!”

“The two of you have.” And Phoenix stuck as always, as ever. He’s what he’s made of himself and nothing more.

“Don’t say that, Mr Wright! I’ve been reading about what you’ve been doing. And you could take the Bar again, I’m sure! You definitely should. I passed! You would too! You did before!”

Phoenix snorts. “Thanks, but I’m not so sure. I’m a little less lucky than I was when I first passed.” Does he owe Iris and her blessing for passing the Bar on the first try? Probably, and he doesn’t want to dwell on that much.

“Still. I think you should. Then we’d have three lawyers, me and what did Trucy say his name was, Apollo! And you. We’d be an unbeatable team!”

It would be nice to have her optimism. He has no way of responding that she won’t hear his doubt, so he goes for the redirect. “You should let Edgeworth know you got your badge, even if you don’t ask him if you can crash at his place. He’d like to know how you’ve been doing, and I’m not sure if you’d see him in person any time soon. Chief Prosecutor stuff is keeping him really busy.” Worryingly busy, in fact. There’s a lot of corruption to clean up, Phoenix knows, but more and more he wonders if there’s something else, something on top of the base level of corruption that’s eating up all of Edgeworth’s time.

“I’ll email him. And then I’ll see you soon! This week! Two days! One plane ride away, Boss! And then it’s gonna be awesome, I just know it!”

After she hangs up, he stares at the dark floor, at the thin lines of the city lights seeping in around the window shades, for a long time. It would be nice, unfathomably so, if she was right. If the the constant expectation gnawing at the back of Phoenix’s skull was wrong. Let her be right, and for once, let everything – or even just something – turn out all right.

-

Edgeworth calls in the morning, causing Phoenix to realize something: he both worries when he doesn’t hear from Edgeworth, and when he does. He didn’t sleep well after Athena’s call, worrying about that too, and her, and this realization that he feels responsible for her like a father and that’s the last goddamn thing he wanted. “What’s up?” he asks through a yawn, and there is silence on the other end of the line, Edgeworth clearly reassessing whether Phoenix is the best person for whatever the problem is. Or maybe he still thinks Phoenix is the right person, but Saturday morning not the right time to have a serious conversation.

Then he sighs and says, “Wright, I have a… a favor to ask. A special request.”

“Ominous. So how can I help?” It’s not the way he would respond to anyone else; it’s a rule he’s had since he met Mia and started tangling with the fae, to never agree to any request without knowing the terms. But it’s Edgeworth. Phoenix sets different rules for him.

“I want you to clear one of my subordinates of suspicion.”

“Edgeworth, that’s like, the one thing I can’t do for you. I’m not a lawyer, remember? Haven’t been for longer than I ever was.”

“And you aren’t at all eager to return?”

“Eh.” Is he? What does he want to do? He doesn’t know anymore, hasn’t had time to ever figure it out. Who is he when he’s not trying to keep Kristoph from doing more harm, when not flailing to keep himself and Trucy afloat and alive?

(He’s the person that Edgeworth asks for help on investigations, an invitation extended again and again even when Phoenix thought for sure he would give up in the face of “not now”s and “someday”s, that he wouldn’t wait like he did for the now and the someday. And he’d liked those investigations, more than getting to show Trucy more of the world, more than spending time with Edgeworth. And for everything else there was, he had enjoyed jumping behind the defense’s bench with Apollo, for more reason than finally getting to tear Kristoph down.)

(Maybe he does know, and maybe what he knows is that he misses being an attorney.)

“With everything cleared up, you would be able to, and I can’t imagine you just continuing to delegate everything to others.”

Does Edgeworth know him too well? Maybe, but as long as he doesn’t point out that the reason he can’t imagine Phoenix leaving things to other people is because Phoenix is paranoid, suspicious, and laden with trust issues, Phoenix can live with it. “Athena called last night and was saying I should retake the Bar, too.”

“I received an email from her, as well. I’m inclined to agree with her in regards to you.”

“I’ll think about it. But who exactly is it that you’d be asking me to – defend?” There hasn’t been any news this week of prosecutors arrested for crimes. If something happened recently, it’s been on tight lockdown. And if it wasn’t recently, then what?

“You’ll recall the Blackquill case?”

“Oh,” Phoenix says.

That was a case on tight lockdown, details unknown to Phoenix, but whatever happened was damning for Prosecutor Blackquill, who pled guilty and was convicted in barely a few hours. And even if more information had been released, Phoenix probably wouldn’t have looked that far into it; even a year and a half after his disbarment, he was still struggling to keep from drowning, too preoccupied with himself and Trucy and Kristoph and no room to consider yet another murdering prosecutor. (How many of those have there been?)

“Yes. He will…” Edgeworth sighs. “He will be standing in court again, very soon. I want you to keep an eye on him.”

If it was anyone but Edgeworth speaking, Phoenix would assume that he was asking Phoenix whether Blackquill was human or fae, to look with the Sight and get answers. But it’s Edgeworth, and he probably doesn’t mean that. “So if he’s standing in court, do you mean his conviction was overturned – but if you’re asking me to clear him, then that means he hasn’t been…?”

“He will be standing in court, prosecuting, as a convict.”

Phoenix closes his eyes and considers flinging himself face-first into the couch. He heads for the kitchen instead. “Well,” he says. “That’s still not the worst or weirdest thing a chief prosecutor has done.”

Silence. He probably shouldn’t have said that. He definitely shouldn’t have said that. “I thought I was getting good at the piano thing,” Phoenix adds, and Edgeworth snorts, “but I mean, I guess this is a job I could do. Is there anything more you can tell me about Blackquill? Like if Apollo and Athena were to end up facing him in court.”

“Or if you were, should you get your badge back.” The silence stands for a few more seconds, Phoenix not wanting to agree to that, not wanting to get Edgeworth’s hopes up until he himself is sure, and Edgeworth adds, “He isn’t… pleasant, exactly.”

“That could mean a lot of things. Some people might say that about you, y’know.”

“Hmph. I’m sure some people might also say that about you. But I might compare him to Franziska: tolerates very little nonsense, does not suffer fools lightly, and has a very broad definition of what counts for foolishness. He’s studied psychology as a tactic for the courtroom and when he isn’t threatening, he’s manipulative. And if you were to defend him, he still insists quite stringently that he is in fact a murderer, though I know you have had clients of that sort before.”

And you were one of them, Phoenix thinks. “So, tough client, and tough prosecutor.” Sounds like someone else Phoenix knows. “Apollo could use some experience going up against a hostile prosecutor.” The most hostility he’s had to deal with has been witnesses – not to discount the ordeals that Crescend and Gavin made of those trials – but Klavier is far too fond of him. (Which Phoenix can’t complain about because that’s worked out for his purposes and also for the Jurist System trial case.) “And psychology, huh. You’ve got him, and I’ll have Athena.”

Edgeworth hums a noncommittal acknowledgement.

“You don’t paint a flattering picture of the guy you want defended, though.”

“You deserve to know as much as I can tell you. I didn’t know him well when he first joined the office, but it’s my understanding that six and a half years in jail has sharpened anything that was ever tempered about him.”

That sounds achingly familiar, but not because of any of the prosecutors that Phoenix knows. Seven years is a long time to ferment and grow painfully bitter. “I suppose that makes sense,” he says. “I’ll keep that all under advisement. Anything else?”

“There is…” Edgeworth sighs and clicks his tongue. “There are a number of absurd rumors I’ve collected about him from other inmates and guards. It’s nothing I would pay heed to, but…” He sighs again.

“But?”

“They call him a witch.”

“Edgeworth, one of these days you’re going to have to accept the truth staring you in the face that these things are way more likely than you think.”

“Actually, I believe they are much less likely than you think, and your life is not accurate to the demographics of this city.”

“You met Kay, Lang, that shapeshifter lady, Sebastian, his bastard of a father, Judge Courtney, and whatever else was happening there, all within one month.”

The silence stretches for so long that Phoenix has to check to make sure Edgeworth hasn’t hung up on him. He goes to the pantry and finds that Trucy ate the last of the cereal. “Fine,” Edgeworth says at last. “People with magic have a tendency to move in packs. I will give you that. But Blackquill is… very much a loner, and I’ve spoken with him a number of times and seen nothing to suggest that he isn’t normal.”

“I guess I’ll have to meet him and see for myself.” It’s funny, really; Edgeworth’s disdain for cries of magic at anyone or anything that breaks a narrow mold nearly stopped him from mentioning the thing that has the best guarantee at bringing Phoenix in on this venture.

“I’m hoping to find a case for him in the next few days. I’ll let you know once I do. And the next exams are being administered in May, so you should get to studying for that.”

“Did I say that I was retaking it?”

“You’re already signed up and paid for, so I would really prefer you don’t let that go to waste.”

Phoenix nearly drops the phone. “Edgeworth. Edgeworth, tell me you’re joking—”

“I would never.”

“Didn’t you need my signature? Are we really starting my new career with more falsified—”

“Speaking of, I’ve meant to let you know that your daughter is worryingly good at forging your signature, and you should probably have a talk with her about that sort of thing.”

“You used my daughter for crimes—!”

“I also considered buying Miss Maya dinner for it, though I didn’t know which of those options you would have preferred less.”

Oh. Oh, Edgeworth is serious about it, about Phoenix getting his badge back, if he had considered making a deal with Maya over it. “You could’ve at least warned me and given me more than I don’t know, two weeks, to study!”

“And would you have used that extra time effectively?”

Phoenix drops his head against the refrigerator. He doesn’t know why he thought he would win against Edgeworth. He’s not even sure why he bothered to fight. “Okay, first of all, fuck you, and secondly – fuck you!”

Edgeworth chuckles. “Prosecutor Blackquill and I will see you in court, Wright.”

[sapphicscholar]

Letter 65

March 10, 2012, 1:13pm

Dear Maggie,

First of all, can't wait to talk to you tonight! I've acquired all the ingredients you listed for pesto, so I'm ready for some solid instructions.

Now second in the order of business: For your information, Gertrude means "spear of strength" in German or something. It is a fine, strong name for any dog. And you know what? I’m sure that single old lady with an abundance of butterscotch candies is clearly an unrecognized pillar of strength in the community. She and her lint-covered sugary confections form the bedrock of America. My future dog will wear her name with pride.

I like your idea of using some form of sign language as a universal language for off-worlders! It may not be a perfect solution, but it has potential. Do you know anything about how sign language works internationally? I’ve never really thought about how there must be regional dialects of sign language…definitely putting a pin in that for a future Wikipedia spiral. The language barrier is something that I’ve been thinking about recently, too. I don’t quite know how (or if, to be honest) researchers got consent from the aliens who donated(?) tissue to the biobank we’re working with. Beyond the language barrier there must also be cultural differences that make it difficult to communicate. Like your “attack pigs” vs “wild boar” thing. One phrase makes me think that someone out there, most likely a nefarious millionaire has trained (and maybe weaponized!) the likes of Wilbur or Babe to attack trespassers on sight. The other makes me think that Mother Nature is a truly fearsome thing beyond human domination. Even though they both basically boil down to “dangerous swine” the connation of those two things is drastically different. No one’s really been able to answer my questions about this, yet. My questions regarding the consent issue, I mean…not weaponized farm animals.

Attack pigs aside, that is so impossibly amazing that you get to occupy the same space that da Vinci did when he tested his inventions.

Shoot, Sawyer, did I accidently make some sort of innuendo when I was talking about the recipes? Or did I just like accidentally insult all of Mediterranean cuisine? I feel like it has to be either accidental flirting or equally accidental egregious faux pas. My life is a case study of extremes.

I haven’t seen the L Word yet!! Have you spoiled it all by telling me someone dies? This is absolutely mortifying but for me it’s the 1995 BBC’s Pride and Prejudice. You’ve caught me. My family always used to marathon it when we had off school for the winter holiday break, and somehow I tog hit with the Austen bug. But it’s not quite romcoms, right? Totally different. But the whole thing of two flawed people falling in love gets me every time.

I agree with your comments about living alone. I’ve lived by myself for most of grad school. It definitely made me face my own strengths and weaknesses. I learned a lot about myself, and not all of it was good. I think…I think I don’t do well when I’m completely by myself. I think we talked about this in earlier letters, but I’m realizing that when things starting getting difficult I cut myself off from the people who cared about me. I was so convinced that I could fix everything by myself, that I was freeing myself by cutting off ties…I didn’t realize that I had trapped myself in an entirely different way when I hit rock bottom, needed help, and there was no one I trusted anymore. I’m still in the process of figuring all of this out.

The mornings you describe sound so beautiful. It’s late here, so just the thought of waking up fully rested is enough to make me wistful. It’s freezing in the library, and I’m worried I’m catching something or other, but the thought of lounging in bed, sipping tea, with nothing but crosswords, Harry Potter, and a bubble bath on my to-do list sounds absolutely magical. The thought of spending a day like that with you, well that sounds unbelievably perfect.

I’m going to tackle the second set of questions first:

1) What super power would I choose? Flight for sure! But only if it were coupled with invisibility.

2) What super power would I probably have? Realistically, the ability to go long periods of time without sleep. Or at least that’s clearly what med and grad school are attempting to train me to do. Hospital shifts are no joke.

3) Worst habit? I’ve been told that when things go to shit I go into…crisis mode? Like in a “nobody can move or breathe too loudly until I solve this by any means necessary.” Believe it or not, I’ve been told it’s not the best for morale haha.

4) Embarrassing high school moments? There are so so many. You know how your brain keeps you awake at night by replaying a B-roll of your worst moments? Most of mine are when I would get weirdly competitive over beating everyone else at raising my hand to answer a question. Why did I do that? Like sure I knew the answers, but we were all there to learn. (And okay, part of it was definitely because Kara and I shared a class or two because I'd opted to double my sciences early on, and then she skipped ahead in some subjects, and I couldn't let my baby sister do better, but still.) There was no reason to be so smug. Idk going from the top of my classes (a brief period in my AP Calc aside, though that was definitely the teacher’s fault) in high school and college to actually struggling in grad school has sort of put things in perspective.

As for the first set of questions about our first date…I don’t know! I don’t think I’ve ever been on a date with someone I genuinely liked before. But…maybe we can find out? I got a paper accepted at a conference in Rome, and I just got word from the department that my travel budget has been approved! It’s at La Sapienza, and I’ll be flying out bright and early on Monday, April 9. My presentation is during the first day of the conference (which is the 10th…I sadly lose a whole day flying), so I could definitely sneak out some of the other days if you happen to be around, or maybe I could catch one of those trains you’re so fond of and make it down to you. So, what do you say, Sawyer? Take me out?

Ciao, Alex

[marshaeb]

P.S: I'm Mated With The Cursed Alpha!

Chapter Thirteen

Hey guy! Don’t forget to Like, Comment, Review, and Follow for more updates! My apologies in advance for all the grammatical errors. Book will be professionally edited when completed.

A loud knock came from my room door. I pitched up out of my deep sleep, heading throbbing and aching.

“O-ouch!” I said whimpered, squeezing the side of my head. “It hurts so bad...”

I blinked several times to focus my blurry vision.

I looked around my room and realized it was daylight.

“What on earth are you doing in there?” Samantha said outside my room door. “It’s past 10 am... don’t you have work?”

“Oh shit!” I said, tearing the sheets off my body when I realized my underwear was not on me. “W-what...what the hell!”

I don’t really remember when I took it off last night, but I knew I was hot...really hot and drunk.

Between my legs felt a little sore and my bedsheets were soaked.

“Damn...what the hell happened last night,” I said to myself confusedly. “I mean... I do remember coming home, I took a long bath and...”

I look down at my hand, then at the closet as little by little, it all was coming back to me. Everything!

Little flashes of what happened last night crossed my mind. The slow touching, the dirty talking...then sucking! And those eyes...those fiery golden eyes of his wolf.

I collapsed on the side of my bed in utter disbelief. Did I...did I made out with Alpha Darius?! I clenched my teeth at the mere thought as all my desperate, dirty plead flooded my mind.

I’m such a slut! How did I let myself become so...so vulnerable and weak! How did I manage to let him see that side of me!!!

Oh no! WE KISSED!

I literally had my lips locked with his... our tongues were down each other’s throats!

I gasped deeply, holding in my breath as something else even dirtier came to mind.

“Did he...did I let him...” I breathing sharply, rest my hand above my private area. “Eat. Me. Out!!”

Oh, No!...No! No!

This all has to be a dream...a guilty pleasure...some sick twisted fantasy. No way happened! Drunk or not drunk!

Though I tried to convince myself that it was a hallucination..and it was, I could feel the wetness starting to pool between my legs by the thought of it all.

My clit jumped excitingly at the thought of Alpha Darius. It...it was pulsating vigorously making my body heat up to remember how good it felt.

“No! I can’t remember how it felt because IT NEVER HAPPENED!” I said to myself, staring in the bathroom mirror. “Please...Moon goddess...it can’t be true! He’ll just rub it all in my face!”

I shut my eyes and tried to think of something else to distract me from it all, but those golden eyes of his were the only thing I see. Looking up at me as he tugged and sucked on my left titt his mouth.

My lips trembled slightly, brows furrowed deeply as I tried to fight that satisfying feeling.

I looked down to my chest and slowly cuffed my left breast, grazing its nipple with my fingers. I jumped slightly, shivering as chills of pleasure washed through me.

It...it feels so good! Shit! Just the thought of him having the guts to trespassed, breaking in my room like the bossy, self-entitled Alpha he is, pisses me off! But at the same time, it turned me on even more.

Shit! I’m pissed off that my body’s reacting this way by the mere thought of him. I never wanted to give him the advantage...the satisfaction!

Now he’ll use that moment to smear it all in my face of how horny and desperate I was for him.

“Goddess!” I grunted through clenched teeth.

I undressed and took a quick shower. After getting dressed in a fitted mini dress to showcased my curves, I threw on a beanie hat and the usual

A white scarf to hide those juicy love marks around my neck.

I was gradually having an anxiety attack! The days have passed by so soon as I looked at the calendar on the side of my mirror. My birthday was just two days away.

Moon Goddess, I don’t know what to expect...It’s literally driving me up a wall.

I have to stay calm. Stay calm, Joel, deep breaths...deep breaths. I can do this, just think positive... that’s all.

After mediating to my inner for three minutes, I gradually felt myself growing at ease. The breeze flowing through the room window was so therapeutic. It was just what I needed to calm down.

When I finally did, I threw on my large burnt orange cardigan a rush downstairs.

I felt so guilty and exploited after getting carried away last night, I didn’t want to face my family. Especially Mom who wholeheartedly went out of her way to protect me from the same man I turned around and seduced.

Quietly, I walked into the kitchen to quickly make myself a cup of hot coffee, but it was pointless. Someone had already sniffed me out.

“Hey!” Samantha said, wearing her usual tank top and jogger pants.

Anxiously, I cleared my throat and glanced at her. “H-Hey! How come you’re not to school?”

She gave me a suspicious look and replied, “I have a cold...”

“You don’t look like you have a cold,” I said, turning the hot coffee into my mug.

“Well... I do,” she said looking at me from head to toe. “What’s up with the extra clothes? It’s not snowy you know.”

“I know, but it is a bit chilly,” I said. “And you for one supposed to be in ‘extra clothing’ yourself if you have a cold.”

“Well I guess you’re right...put why the scarf?” She said tugging it at the end as it unravels my neck.

Her eyes tore open immediately as I quickly tried to fix it back.

“What...what was that for?!” I said annoyingly and completely embarrassed.

“S-sorry... I didn’t know were...hiding stuff...” I said apologize confusingly.

I sighed and held my palm over my forehead. “Look...please, don’t tell Mom and Dad.”

“Well...I mean you are grown...” She said, scratching her head, “and you do have a boyfriend...”

I gave her a hard stare. She chuckled in her throat and held up her hand.

“Alright, alright, fine!” She said. “I won’t tell Mom and Dad!”

“It’s not funny...” I breathed out stressfully through my nose.

“I mean it kinda is...” She chuckled.

Then she paused as she suddenly had an epiphany, gasping loudly, disturbing my already anxious soul.

Wait for a second!” She exclaimed. “Jackson’s away on a mission! So...how on earth did you get those?!”

I swear something deep inside me cracked and sharded into a million pieces. It’s gotten so bad that even my little sister’s reading through all the bull crap!

I want out! I swear I do! Damn, how can I even make up an excuse for this? The only ones who know about what happened that dreadful night between Alpha Darius and I was Mom and me.

And it’s supposed to be that way until...well...until...I find out who’s my mate.

“Look, Samantha, i-it’s not what it looks like...“I said to embarrassed to give her eye contact.

“Oh... really?” She replied in a sarcastic tone.

“Yes...really!” I said. “Please...it’s all a misunderstanding. Just...please don’t tell Mom.”

“Alright...you have my word.” She said. “But...that’s if you do me a favor in return?”

I breathed out sharply. “What is it?”

“I have to do so research on ancient herbal medicine for biology glass... Do you mind stopping at the library after work and bring me some material?” She asked.

“Argh! Fine!” I sighed, looking at the time. “I have to run... where’s the book list you want me to get?”

“There’s no specific book list...I figure since you did the course and you’re a nurse, you should know the best material.” She smiled.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. “Alright...fine! I’ll find whatever I can...only because you promise to keep your mouth shut!”

“Sure thing, hot stuff...” She said, winking at me as she walked into the other room.

I gathered my hot coffee in my hand and quickly headed out of the house door.

All I wanted was to keep a low profile for the entire day. I don’t know I just don’t give up already, seriously.

Upon arriving at the pack’s day-care, the pups were already outside having the time of their lives. There was a huge blue bouncing castle, a cotton candy, popcorn and snow cone machine and so much more!

Ms. Sumpter does go all out for her little ones. Even with so much that’s been coming on in my life, I couldn’t help the smile of joy coming on my face seeing the pups so happy.

I needed it...I needed anything to take my mind off what happened last night. If that meant hula hooping, playing duck, duck goose, replay race, even enjoying some time in bouncing castle, I will.

And as I’d planned, I very much did. After tiring out myself, I sat down with Ms. Sumpter and the other caregivers as we watch the kids play.

“You sure enjoyed yourself,” Ms. Sumpter said to me as a few parents came to pick up their pups.

“Yes, I sure did,” I said as my attention turned to Ms. McGregor, pulling up into the yard.

What on earth is she doing here?

Wearing nearly everything brand name, she modeled her way in six inched high heel shoes that happened to sink in the dirt every step she made.

I turned away slightly and mumbled, beneath my breath. “Like mother, like daughter.”

“Oh, how do, Martha!” She said to Ms. Sumpter.

“Hello, Jennifer.” She replied. “Here for your lovely grandson!”

Grandson? Ms. McGregor’s a grandmother? Oh...yes! I totally forgot that Rachel her eldest got married three years ago. Chelsea was babbling on about it all during class that day during high school.

Little Grayson came running out towards her with his arms wrapped tightly around her legs.

“Look at my big boy!” She exclaimed, lifting him into her arms. “Ready for grandma to spoil you rotten?”

He nodded his head and I rolled my eyes. Now that I know Grayson’s grandmother, I’m not surprised by the naughty behavior he carries out in daycare. They swear thinks he’s a little angel, but he’s not!

He bites and pokes the other children in the eye if he doesn’t have his way.

“Of course you will, your grandma’s only grand...” Said Ms. Sumpter with a smile.

“I only grand for now.” Ms. McGregor replied.

“Oh, Rachel’s having another one.” Ms. Sumpter asked excitingly as I eavesdrop carefully.

“Oh, no!” She said. “Chelsea is! She’s going on two months now!

“Oh wow! Congratulations!” Ms. Sumpter cheered, but I nearly choked on air.

I quietly walked away with a bizarre expression on my face. I-I just couldn’t believe it. I knew, given time her boyfriend, Matthew was going to knock her up.

“My ball!” Jordan, the second-grader shouted as his ball flew over the tree on the side of the building. “I’ll go get it!”

“Hurry back!” I said as he ran off.

What is the actual hell!

Chelsea McGregor’s PREGNANT! Gradually it all started to add up when I saw her at the hospital that day. Something did look a bit odd on her face.

I can’t wait to tell, Sarah about this— oh... I forgot...Sarah and I aren’t on good terms.

She’s probably cuddled up with her mate at the hospital... this news would be the least of her worries and it should be for me too.

I paused and look around for Jordan, he wasn’t back yet. What was taking him so long?

“You guys, stay here...” I said to the others as I ran over to see what was going on.

There his huge black wolf stood in the middle of the field as Jordan stand beside him, rubbing his wolf's massive head.

My heart nearly fell in my stomach. What was he thinking! If someone else saw him this would be a completely different story.

Anxiously, I rubbed my knee together as I called out for Jordan, but before the words left my mouth, his wolf looked my way.

“Um... Jordan,” I said, nervously. “Come here now.. the party’s this way...”

This was so awkward, especially knowing what went down between us last night. I’m so embarrassed, I tried to avoid eye contact as best as I can, but it was too obvious. He read right through me because he knew the reason why.

After Jordan finished patted him on the head, he playfully bumped his snout against his backside as he ran back over with his ball.

Our eyes lock for a split second and I swear I’ve never seen a wolf smirk, but he did as he walked away back into the forest.

Man, he knows exactly what to do to gets under my skin.

After the fun day was over, I made my way to the library like I promise, Samantha, but all of a sudden it started to rain.

I was already wet up by the time I made it inside. I took off my cardigan and greeted the librarian, Mr. Knowles. Heading quickly into the back aisle where the old biology ext books and encyclopedia were, I caught hold of one book. “Plants and medicine.”

Looking further down, someone tall showed up beside me. I grew startled and took a step back. At first, I was clueless, until I saw those golden eyes staring at me through his fitted cap.

I quickly turned around to make a run for it.

“Why you running away now?” He said.

I paused and turned around with the textbook to my chest.

“Maybe because I see someone I’m not supposed to be around,” I said, but it only caused his smile to widened on his face.

“Well, I beg to differ...” He said in a low voice that grew chills over my body. I pussy started to clenched against my control. “But...that’s not why I’m here...I came to see if you’re already.”

“I-I’m fine...” I gave a quick smile. “Thank you.”

“Sleep well?” He asked, teasingly as her folded his bulging arms. “I noticed you woke up late this morning.”

“It’s because I was drunk last night...that’s all!” I whispered yelled, feeling the heat between my legs starting to rise. “It’s called a hangover.”

“Oh...it’s a hangover alright.” He chuckled, reaching for a random book on the shelf, staring at me over the pages. “I kinda had a hangover myself... I had a good...good time.”

I could feel my nipples starting to harden up. My heart started to race, breathing became jittery as he tried to pick my tongue.

“Well...I should be on my way...that’s great that you had a good time...thanks for letting me know.” I said turning around slowly.

“Oh i didn’t have to tell you,” he said stopping me in my tracks, “you found out for yourself.”

I spinned around once more, a jumped back...he was so close behind me. “Look...whatever happened last night was a huge misunderstanding.”

“Was it?” He replied, pulling down his turtle neck.

I gasped deeply, staring at the large red hickey’s on his neck.

“That...looks like a misunderstanding, Princess?” He raised a naughty sharp brow at me. “I wasn’t the only one hungry last night. You’re a little freak...I love it!”

Guilt started to wash over me seeing and hearing the effects of that happened last night.

“Well...I was drunk...and you’re not supposed to trepassed and break into my room in the first place!” I whisper yelled. “You’re completely out of line!”

“Well I would have left if you didn’t, play with your pussy the way you did when I hid in the closet.” He said as I turn speechless. “You entertained me, twirling around, nearly cracking your skull open. Then leading me on when I tried to control myself.”

“Why didn’t you?” I asked softly.

“Because, my mate was horny and she wanted me to make her feel good.” He said, taking a step closer. “And as an Alpha, I did just that.”

I looked down to my feet trying to keep my composure. It was too embarrassing. How could I? Seriously!

“I know you don’t regret it, either.” He said, but stubborn as I am, I shook my head.

“I do.”

“Look me in the eyes and tell me that.” He said. “Then I believe you.”

Each second went by and I didn’t have the guts to look in the eyes. He would see right through my lies.

Waiting no longer, he pressed my body against the wall book shelf, leaning his body against mines.

“I know you don’t, princess.” He said as I feel his thick, hard muscles pressed against my chest.

“If you do anything... I’ll scream.” I said.

He stepped a foot between my legs anyway and slide his hand over my inner thigh.

“You do that, and I’ll have to shove my cock in that tight throat of yours to shut you up!” He growled. “You decide!”

And just like that, the dominance of an Alpha, my lips were pinned shut.

“You’re already so wet for me...why don’t you admit you love it.” He said, shoving his hand into my underwear. “I know how you like it, princess.”

His fingers slid through my wet pussy lips, massaging my throbbing clit. I hitched and panted as her fiddle and flicked my flesh. It...it felt so good.

He slide his middle finger inside me and I clenched. He groaned and thrusted it in and out as I creamed over him.

“Wow! What a tight, wet pussy you got, baby girl!

I held onto his wrist as he continued to thrust, leading my forehead in his bicep. I was about to cum.

“Is the princess going to cum?” He chuckled, rubbing on my ass, then towards my left titt. “This will make those eyes rolled back.”

H-He knows my weakness! He shoved his hand into my bra cup and squeezed my breast firmly, rolling his thumb over my hard nipple and pinched.

I lips parted as I pant and pant for breath. I could feel the orgasm rolling in. My eyes rolled back, shivering and squeezing on his arm as I came.

“Oouu...that’s a good girl!” He said.

He rubbed my pussy for the last time and removed his hand. His fingers were covered with pussy juice and what he did after made me clenched even harder. He sucked them in his mouth and clean them dry.

“Sweet...” He said, looking down at me with those golden eyes.

After he was done, he threw me a wink and a small smirk, walking away through back door.

I looked around and fixed my breast back in my bra and sighed deeply. I bit my bottom lips, too embarrassed that I’ve slipped up once again...and this time, I wasn’t drunk.

After getting home, I gave Samantha the books I promised and went upstairs to my room. Still in shock after what happened at the library, I sat on my bed still feeling the touch of his fingers penetrating me.

Suddenly, Talloc flew through the window, scaring me like usual, but to my surprise...it wasn’t her. It was Bumble, Jackson’s owl Barn owl.

My eyes widened, I couldn’t believe my eyes!

He had a letter in his beak. I quickly walked over and torn open the envelope.

Read:

I’m back, Baby! Can’t wait to see you!

Love, Jackson.

Read Chapter Fourteen (Click the link below)

[brakken]

I finished Life is Strange: Before the Storm Episode 3.

Thoughts below the cut...

-spoilers for Before the Storm and Life is Strange-

In a lot of ways, it was very close.

I think Deck Nine have done an incredible job with telling a story that essentially didn’t need to be told.  I appreciate the effort and dedication to make it feel like the same Arcadia Bay we’re familiar with. I love that it’s embellished further in some places, even when it’s just hinting at something. I’m truly grateful for some of the ways that Before the Storm has augmented its predecessor. And I’d like to give HUGE praise to Rhianna Devries for delivering a great performance as Chloe.

There is a lot to like in this game - though I think it became weaker with each episode.

The main plot pieces of the previous episodes rely a bit on their promise of a big payoff, and that sadly isn’t here in ep. 3. In the first episode’s ending, the mystery woman sits and smiles as a wildfire blazes. Mid-ep. 2, she exits Frank’s van, turns, and gives Chloe an unsympathetic look. By the end of that episode, she’s revealed to be Rachel’s birth mother, and when we discover her backstory in ep. 3, we find out she’s a recovering addict and just wants to meet her daughter. All these elements, to me, were speaking of a deeper conclusion than what we got. We’ve seen fragments of a manipulative nature in Rachel - how much of that is an inherited trait? What was Sera’s involvement with Damon and Frank if she claimed to be sober? Where was all this leading to?

When we finally encounter her properly, she’s a damsel for us to rescue, and when we converse, she’s only used to re-affirm the father’s plea - to cast more immediate doubt onto the final choice. I didn’t see the ending where she reunites with Rachel, but I saw that the timestamp on youtube puts it at 48 seconds of content, so I can’t imagine she’s elaborated on much, there.

It’s a shame because I think there was a lot of strong storytelling being done on the Rachel angle, and I felt that having a plot that wasn’t too connected to the original game was the right move. But all-in-all it pulled too much focus away from Chloe.

I’ve talked about why I was finding choices difficult in this prequel. How I felt conflicted about what Chloe would do, vs what I thought was best for her, vs where I knew the story would eventually end up. The final choice echoed this, too. In an odd way I found this one more difficult than the final choice of LiS. There, I knew there was no way I’d let go of Chloe. But here, even though the consequences were less severe (read: void, since we know it changes nothing), I still found it tricky. The story had been leaning very heavily on protecting Rachel from the truth in this episode, to the point where it practically seemed unavoidable. I remembered Chloe’s graffiti from the original game: ‘everybody lies, no exceptions’. I pondered on Chloe’s insecurities and inability to face hard truths. So I picked the lie.

And then I immediately remembered how hurt Chloe is when she discovers Rachel had been in a secret relationship with Frank. How she trusted Rachel with everything and no-one else. How isolated they both were. I sat with my decision and watched those events play out, while already planning to replay the whole episode just to alter my final choice.

Which I did. And while I felt picking the truth was in line with my version of Chloe, I was let down by the ending. I was let down when everything played out almost exactly the same.

There was a lot of hubbub about the first game’s ending - receiving criticism for not taking your choices throughout into account. While I understand the sentiment, this wasn’t a huge factor for my opinion on the final choice. What I appreciated about it (compared to games like The Walking Dead S1, and The Wolf Among Us) was that the endings were notably different from one another. This style of game seems built on choices that are arguably meaningless, but Life is Strange gave us one that mattered - a final branched path.

Before the Storm clearly took the criticism of the first game in mind and tried to craft the endings to avoid that. But in doing so, it became an ending with even less meaning, at least for me. Instead of the final choice leading down severely different roads, all it changes is how the closing montage begins. Does Rachel sit with her family, happy but oblivious? Or do her parents argue and punish themselves for her learning the truth? The rest of the montage scenes are either unchanged or specific only to earlier choices. It left me unsatisfied because it turned it all into one grey ending. It became the end of an episode, not the end of the full game. It made me feel like the final, most important decision was just one more yes/no option.

I get why it’s like this, and I get why from a production standpoint, any more nuance wouldn’t be feasible. But I wish there had been something more to both decisions. I think it’s really great that there is an epilogue for each of the smaller stories, that change depending on how you played them. But they need to be second-tier to Chloe and Rachel’s epilogue - all of which remained the same, save for the beginning.

I would have liked to see a callback to the wildfire, somehow. There’s a moment in the hospital where a firefighter mentions that it simply put itself out. Another small hint to the supernatural aspect of Rachel. I loved all these little hints, and I loved that they never trespassed too far over canon or over Chloe’s journey. But to better solidify the different endings, maybe it could have been played with more. If you tell Rachel the truth, the fire surges up again from her torment. And if you lie, it extinguishes fully, calmed by her ignorance, maybe we see some green returning to the park... or maybe it’s put out by a sudden onset of rain. The fire is over, but the storm is coming.

I’ve been trying to think what I would change about this game, even in small ways, that would make it overall a stronger piece of LiS story. I think I would have given Frank’s role to someone else - probably someone new. A few of the reappearing characters from the first game felt forced in solely because we knew they were familiar with Chloe before she reunited with Max, and while I appreciate the attempt to have Frank break out of that cameo feeling, I actually think he would have been better off on the sidelines. His portrayal in this feels inconsistent and uncharacteristic to how we meet him in the original. Here, he protects Chloe from a villain with a knife, while in his first scene in LiS, he pulls a knife on her. I think if they’d kept Frank in the margins, with more of that drug dealer presence, and given his role to, say, Thunder the bouncer, or even someone entirely new, the narrative would have been stronger. It would allow them to keep Frank true to Chloe’s later opinion of him, and also keep the players guessing as to the fate of this new character. There’s no threat when Frank is grappling with Damon because we know he survives. But with someone different, heck, maybe if you choose badly then they are actually put in danger.

I’m don’t like looking at this as an alternate timeline - I think that’s sorta unfair to Max’s role and influence on the story. So as far as recurring characters go, I think Joyce and David are used the best, both in consistent portrayal and how they affect Chloe here. 

Due in part to their indeterminate fate, I think it’s BtS’s original characters that stand out most for me. I had a lot of fun interacting with Steph and Mikey, and figuring out how to handle the Drew situation. Skip’s story was cute, and it was cool to see Samantha involved with a pre-established character. Just a shame that most of this was sidestory stuff or inconsequential.

I’m glad they took Eliot in a different direction from Warren, though I’m not really sure what it was they wanted, there. A consistent theme in the game is the subtle and sometimes overt ways that Rachel manipulates people to get what she wants, and how Chloe’s regard for her is potentially hurting as much as it is healing. Eliot confronts Chloe about this directly, but it soon spirals into his ulterior motives and he becomes a threat. While I thought this was consistent with the way he’d been portrayed in earlier segments, and I understand that villainising that opinion works to delude Chloe further - I also wonder if it would have been more interesting to have Eliot genuinely concerned for her safety. I wonder what sort of player choices we would be given in that situation, and if the developers could still have convinced us to side with Rachel.

I think setting this story over three days was a mistake. I had this same feeling in the first game, but the reason it worked there was because Max and Chloe were reuniting. There were years of backstory that were coming up to the surface in that short week, and so all the events, all the emotions, had that much extra weight and believability because of it. Rachel and Chloe however, are meeting essentially for the first time, and their budding connection feels rushed over the course of BtS - culminating in Chloe making life-changing decisions for Rachel and risking her own life on day three of knowing her. Maybe it was intentional - maybe this was to exemplify the irresistible magnetism of Rachel. But I still think if it had been set over three weeks or even three months, there’d be more room to accommodate the relationship. As it stands, it’s all too close to Max and Chloe, with none of the history that makes it effective.

The post-credits sting just felt... mean. And not in a clever, foreboding way. If they wanted to close out with a reminder of where the story goes, they could do it with rumbling thunder, or a rain cloud off the coast of the lighthouse. Because this game wasn’t called ‘Life is Strange: Before Rachel Gets Kidnapped and Killed’. Rachel was more than her fate, and so was the original game. That ending put me back in the worst place that the first game takes you, and that just upset me.

I’m... not actually sure what Life is Strange is without Max. Maybe that’s why this game felt like it couldn’t ever truly hit the mark for me, even with my grievances over the original. Even though it was a game about saving Chloe, LiS was all told through Max’s lens - often literally. The parts of BtS that I was latching onto most were those that mentioned her. Chloe’s journal, her old texts, the dream segments...

And while I’m on that subject - I felt the metaphors got a bit confusing in this episode. My understanding of William’s dialogue in ep.2′s dream segment was a warning of the burning passion Chloe felt for Rachel (the fire), and a promise of the stronger connection to come with Max (the stars). Yet in ep.3, stars are also connected to Rachel, making her the storm, the fire, and the night sky. I just... felt like we lost a bit of focus there, or maybe I just interpreted it wrong. And was the Raven kinda absent from most of this ep?

I’ve been considering doing another full playthrough to see if anything becomes clearer, this time with all different choices (something I found impossible in the original LiS). We’ll see. I’ll let it rest for now, and see what ‘Farewell’ brings.

Even with all my hangups about both games, it’s always a shame to leave that world. There’s so much I love about it just on sensory levels.

My favourite moments from this episode were:

-Sera’s backstory. Loved the callback to the viewfinder.

-Playing tabletop again. I teared up when the story began reflecting the LiS ending.

-Seeing Chloe happy, even if it’s temporary.

Deck Nine pulled the weight with this game. While I’d predicted I would come away conflicted no matter what, I’m still thankful for the parts that they got right.

Wishing and hoping for great things to come.

As always, thank you to anyone who took the time to read these thoughts. Here’s a drawing <3

[mattymattymerduck]

Into Infinity (Pt. 1)

Summary: Imagine being pulled through a portal randomly. When you awake, you find yourself in the Marvel Universe. More specifically, Tony Stark’s lab. Guess this is what happens when Tony Stark ‘examines’ an Infinity Stone.

Warnings: Nope

Word count: 1300

A/N: I am not responsible for posting this, I promised @thedizzyidiot I would do this self-insert pic thing so here. Have it.

Let’s get one thing straight; life isn’t perfect. It never has been and it never will be, but it has its moments just like everything else. Sure, you may not be exactly where you planned to be when you turned 24, and no, there isn’t anything particularly extravagant or adventurous about your life, but it’s a pretty okay place to be.

And you thought this would be an average day - as usual you were running late for class, so when you got there your teacher would be disappointed but not overtly harsh on you, and you would have another long and for the most part disinteresting day. Well that’s not what happened.

Campus was emptier than usual, which was almost a frightening thought because there was always at least a dozen students smoking or skipping class or just enjoying the sun on their spare. The fact that not a single one of them was embracing the warm wind was unsettling, and had you thought anything even slightly out of the ordinary could happen to you today, you might have seen it coming.

It - of course - being the giant endless hole under your feet. At first you thought you tripped on the uneven sidewalk or something else that you normally did, but usually when you tripped you landed face first on the ground, not in an entirely different room all together.

You knew this room too, not by the chilling absence of the sun or the cranked AC, not even by the view of a city you had never visited before, framed by windows larger than life. No, you had seen this very lab in a movie, one of your favourite series of adaptations; you just couldn’t figure out how in the span of a single heartbeat you had fallen through your university campus and ended up here.

In Tony Stark’s very own lab.

“JARVIS, why don’t you read me those statistics again, I know there’s something I’m missing here.” And you definitely recognized that voice, the esteemed, and very fictional, Tony Stark pushing open the glass door with his back.

“Sir, there seems to be a flux-” The robot chimed in while you threw your gaze around the room. There must have been something wrong, maybe you hit your head on the cement and now you’re in a coma? Maybe you were in fact still asleep in your bed and this whole thing was a dream? Maybe you were dead and the Marvel Cinematic Universe was your heaven.

“Who the hell are you?” Maybe you would have been able to choke out something more comprehensible if your head wasn’t swimming with all the regrets you had and the fact that you just weren’t ready to die. That, and how lame would it be to go from tripping and hitting your head too hard on the sidewalk?

“No. Nonononono, this, this right here? It is not happening. I’m just gonna wake up, dust myself off and get to class. Oh no, I’m already so late for class!” You had to pace, it was a habit, something to work off the adrenaline pushing through your veins. You were fully aware that Tony, a man who until this very moment you would have been ecstatic to meet, was staring at you like you were mental. And maybe you were to some extent, because how could this be happening otherwise?

“Right. Excuse me, yeah you, I don’t know how you got in here but if you could pack up all your crazy and get out of my building that would be great.” You had stopped walking when you heard his voice, the voice you were so used to hearing through the speakers of your tv. You took a moment to stare at each other before you released a shaky breath.

“This isn’t usually how dreams work though, is it? Would you mind pinching me? At least then I can rule out the possibility of dying on my way to class.” You stuck your arm out to your hallucination and watched him almost recoil.

“See, here’s the thing, I would, but I don’t like getting psycho on me, it’s bad for business.” You bit your lip and nodded, seeing his point. If you were in his place, you would be scared too. Worried and maybe a tinge excited, but scared.

“Right well I can’t leave until we figure out how I got here, and since none of my friends have the ability to make a trap door that falls into the set of Iron Man or even have Robert Downey Jr in their contact list,”

“Robert Downey who?” Tony was a hairs width away from giving up on the conversation. Frankly, he was a little worried about the lax security in the Tower - how could someone just waltz right into his lab without alerting any of his security measures or running into a single Avenger? They were getting old and rusty if it was that easy for a college student to trespass so effortlessly.

“Jr. You, or at least, where you got your face from.” This made total sense to you, juggling both universes in your head, but Tony was lost and vaguely offended.

“Alright sweetheart, I got my face from my parents, neither of which had a Downey or a Robert in their name. And just for the record, no one else has a face like mine, the world couldn’t handle all that handsome roaming the streets.”

“Wait, but if you look like this it’s safe to say this is based off of the movies, right? Not the comics 'cause then you’d be flawlessly reconstructed into the shape Stan Lee gave you. So then the question is are you following the same timeline?” You replayed the last scenes from the latest Avengers movie in your head, that and everything you’d already seen from the Civil War trailer.

“Oh my god, Civil War. That hasn’t happened yet, has it? Steve, is he okay? Have you met Bucky yet? How’s Rhodes? Is Pietro alive?” Even if this was a dream or heaven or whatever, the least you could do was get the answers you’d been dying for.

“What Civil War? How do you know about all of those people, why would Steve not be okay?” It was like he was talking to a brick wall, and now you were back to pacing. He considered briefly calling security to haul you out, but now he was curious. Who were you?

“Oh thank the lord. Pietro though, he’s alive isn’t he?”

“Speedy’s recovering, but he’s fine. How do you know him?” You didn’t seem like a Hydra agents, but it was the only viable excuse he could come up with.

“I knew it! There’s no way Clint would have taken him on the helicarrier if Cho couldn’t heal him up!”

“Lady! Focus. Where did you come from, and how do you know all this stuff?” Tony’s hand slammed onto his desk and the noise jolted you right out of your excitement.

“I just have one more question, okay?” You asked softer than before, getting a better handle on yourself with the sliver of fear Tony’s annoyed eyes awarded you. He nodded with a sigh and pulled his hand away from the cool metal.

“What were you last working on - before you came in here and found me?”

“Why should I tell you that?” Tony didn’t like the idea of his recent work getting into the hands of someone he couldn’t trust, it could mean New York all over again. He was still sorting out the repercussions of that disaster, and on top of the whole Ultron thing there was no way he could let another cataclysmic villain weasel into their ranks.

“Because I think that’s how I got here.”