#i had to look up a whole reference picture for this bc i couldn't remember what ladybugs look like

[theroseempress]

Hey @wackus-bonkus-maximus, I drew odnlb Ladybug!

POV, you're Lila.

(I put way too much effort into this, and I'm dubbing it the Deranged Knife Ladybug)

Here's a closeup of her little angry face.

[lowkeyrobin]

okay i’ve been requesting this idea with other fandoms i’m in for a while and it’s not being done so i don’t know if they don’t want to write or or can’t figure out how to write it BUT…

you belong with me by t swift ♡ with our beloved freddie badlinu ♡

basically like reader got introduced to freddie by tommy and fell head over heels (definitely not me projecting /hj) but he just thinks of reader as a friend and eventually starts dating someone else yada yada i love this song

you don’t have to write it but i just love this idea (and song ♡)

-🦕 anon

OKG HI 🦕 ANON YES KF COURSE!! RJJSNSNSNS YESYESYES KM SO EXCITED FOR THIS, there's a lot of ts lyric references here bc I used the premise of ybwm but the feelings of her other songs iykwim; hopefully I did you justice with this and thank you SO MUCH for requesting Freddie bc I've been wanting to write for him again and I couldn't think of any good ideas LMFAO

BADLINU ; you belong with me

summary ; you're head over heels for Freddie, but he doesn't seem to feel the same way

warnings ; language

track ; you belong with me ; taylor swift

word count ; 1.5k

masterlist

The day you'd met Freddie through Tommy five years ago, you instantly fell head over heels. You didn't know exactly why, but there was no hiding your feelings anymore, it was so hopelessly obvious, even to Tommy.

The blonde, your best friend, tried to set you guys up here and there, alas, with no luck.

At first, you were convinced you were getting that usual feeling where you kind of fixate on your friend until it disappeared, until it never really did. You talked with him constantly, learned more about him, and learned about the music he liked and his hobbies.

He had an infectious smile that could light up the whole town and a giggle to make you fall to your knees as you felt something in your stomach become fuzzy with a tossing and turning motion. You wonder what it must be like to grow up that beautiful, with his hair falling into place like dominoes, his eyes like sinking ships on waters, so inviting you want to jump in.

Everybody wonders what it would be like to love him, like he was a walking masterpiece. Not many people see him like how you do, his little imperfections and beauties.

You couldn't stop him putting roots in your little dreamland, your house of stone and his ivy grows, covering you in himself. You thought of him at every waking moment, catching yourself doing it frequently when you didn't mean too. If you saw or heard something that reminded you of him, it'd send a wave of dopamine through your brain, infecting you with the disease of happiness with a smile.

You remember him taking a bus to your house in the middle of the night, needing your comfort since you were still awake at that hour, and also the only person he felt safe talking to about what he was upset about it. You were the person to make him laugh when he was about to cry, the one to understand him on deeper levels than most, the one to know his story and his dreams.

Your viewers and fans would often ship you two, drawing fanart, writing fanfiction, and spamming y/s/n in chat whenever you had one of those moments. You streamed together whenever you could, and made YouTube videos frequently featuring each other.

You sat on your balcony at night together sometimes, star gazing.

He says "Look up"

Your shoulders brushed. No proof, one touch, but you felt enough. Enough for you, at least.

He keeps a picture of you two in his office at home downtown. It hangs on the wall with many other pictures of him with his friends. You thought you felt it in the silence and in the way home, with the lights out watching movies. But you seemed to be wrong.

Why couldn't he see that you were right there? Had the thought ever crossed his mind that maybe you loved him so much that maybe he belonged with you? Why couldn't he see that you were the one to understand him, who'd been there all along?

He found a girl he liked, and started officially dating her a month or two ago. After that, you'd never lost hope that maybe he'd see you, but within all the losing more and more hope, Tommy was there for you. He didn't exactly know how to comfort you, but reassured you that it was normal to feel this way, and that you'd move on with time.

You seemed to be the only person to not find love, you felt like you were cursed to be alone forever and watch the one person you truly loved go and love someone else. You couldn't move on, everything reminded you of him, every forest themed candle at the market, every pebble on the seaside, every star in the sky.

You knew he was happy at least, but you just wished that something inside of him would see that you were right there.

Over time, you distanced yourself, though wanting to remain friends with him. You just couldn't seem to see him without his girlfriend, and it hurt. Everytime you remembered that there was no point in trying, it broke your heart even more. It became so bad to the point that it was unhealthy, leading you to send him a text before leaving for a little trip to America.

It read 'Stay beautiful'.

You sent it just before getting on the plane, ridding you of any worry of receiving a message during the long flights. You'd only told Tommy and Tubbo that you were leaving, considering you streamed with them frequently and would probably be the first to notice you disappearing.

You decided a little trip to Folley Beach, South Carolina would be your therapy. Four thousand dollars for a week stay in a solid three star condo wasn't going to work, though. You had some connections, however, getting you a cheaper condo considering it was only you, and you'd be spending a month or two. Six thousand was much better than the probably forty thousand you'd have to pay for that, thank God. Yeah, maybe using your save-up-money wasn't the best idea, but you needed it at the moment.

Your mental health had been declining for a while, and you felt stupid for being so dramatic about the situation with Freddie. But, a trip to the beach and the opportunity to experience things you never had and make some content out of it wasn't something you'd pass up on.

From trying bubble tea to the fresh, clean, oceanside air, it was like a daydream. You took so many photos and videos, sending them to some friends and saving them for a video.

Trying all the food was amazing, which you probably gained a solid ten pounds from. The long walks along the island, down the beach, and down the graffiti road to the other side of the beach were sweltering hot but therapeutic to you.

Once you returned to the UK, opening your front door, you're surprised to see Tommy, Freddie, Tubbo, and Becky in your house, cleaning up for you. Tommy had a spare key to your place, which is probably how you got in. You were confused, but got a little uncomfortable seeing Freddie, especially without his girlfriend on a Sunday afternoon. You'd been gone for two months with nearly no contact, maybe something changed.

You still had feelings for the red-haired boy, but you lost hope on him ever seeing how he felt about you during your trip. You'd gotten over it and you were on your path to just moving on.

"Hi" Tommy smiles, giving you a wave as he stands up, "Sorry, uh, we just came to clean for you since you've been gone for like, ever-"

"It's fine" You reply, "I mean, I could've just cleaned it myself, guys."

"Well, we came over for something else, but we thought you were coming back next Sunday, not this Sunday" Becky explains, looking to the boys for a nod or agreement, or an excuse since she already knew what your next question would be.

"Came for what?" You ask, setting your bags down on the floor, deciding they could wait.

"Uh-" The blonde begins before the shorter brunette speaks for him.

"We were gonna throw you a welcome home party"

"Oh"

Silence condemns you for a moment before you speak again.

"Well, uh, thanks. But, I'm gonna unpack" You pick up your belongings, taking them back to your bedroom, leaving them with a little wave.

Christ, that was so awkward. What's wrong with you? Since when had you gone cold to your friends?

The second you sat down, you felt the wave of regret. Freddie was the first to come in and ask if you were okay, though.

"Hey, are you okay? You're either tired and jetlagged or upset to, uh, probably see me, " He mumbles, running a hand through his hair. "And before you say anything, I was a dick for not seeing how you felt about me, and I was completely blind, and I'm so sorry. I don't know what to do at the moment, but I wanted to genuinely apologize, because I made you feel like you had to leave home because you were so uncomfortable because of me"

"Freddie..." You sigh, setting your electronics from your bag down on your bed, "It's fine. I didn't leave because of you, I left because I just needed a break from here, nothing is your fault. I'm on my path to moving on, so don't make it more awkward than it already is" You chuckle, sitting on the bed across from him as he stands in the doorway. "I swear, if you apologize one more time I will kick your ass"

Freddie smiles and nods, "Thank you. Are you sure this isn't going to ruin anything between us..? I don't wanna lose you as a friend"

"That's what I was asking you!" You giggle, "But yeah, unless you fuck up"

His eyes slightly widen, playing into the bit, "I won't, your majesty."

"Good"

[gurugirl]

So I'm conflicted. I messaged you a while ago that I was talking with a guy 25 years older than me. We exchanged pictures and I wasn't attracted to him. I broke things off with him but didn't tell him why. I used an excuse that, while true, wasn't the reason I didn't want to talk anymore. I missed talking to him, so after about a month I started messaging him again. I've never had anyone talk to me the way he does. We text all day, even when we are both at work. We text about everything. Like our lives, daily stuff, childhoods, and sex stuff. I don't think we have disagreed on anything yet. I don't know if I like him or just that he is the only person to be nice and seem to care about me in the not just friends sense. There are so many things to think about with him. He has two kids. I am only 7 years older than his son. I wouldn't want to start out as anything serious with him but I've never even been on a date before and he has been married and had children. Plus there is the whole could I become attracted to him. When I first saw his picture it was an instant no from me but after looking at them over and over again I can see maybe some attachment growing. I'm just looking for any sort of advice. I don't want to hurt him just because I can't figure my shit out. Any idea of how to figure this out? What do I do or ask him or myself? I've never done this with someone my age so it feels even more confusing with someone older. He always says he likes talking with me and is thinking about me. I get a thoughtful message that is different every morning. First thing at around 7am even though he knows I won't respond until hours later. How can I tell if I like this because its from him and not just because it is happening at all? Sorry for the long-winded ask. I'm just very confused and no one in my real life even knows he exists. It isn't something I want to bring up if it isn't ever going to turn into a real thing. What would you do and how would you go about figuring it out? Also I can't remember if I mentioned it in the past but for reference I'm 30 and he's 55.

Hi hon! I think I remember you telling me your age and his.

It sounds like you genuinely enjoy his "company" or like how he treats you and you two get along really well so to me it makes sense you'd want to keep talking because you formed a bond of some sort. But when it comes to matters of the heart that's where stuff really gets confusing. You have established you like him as a companion or friend but you're not attracted to him.

I've had friends in the past that I liked so much that I was confused by what my feelings were for them (I couldn't tell if it was romantic or just like close friends) and in the end it wound up boiling down to me just really really liking them as a friend but it was mistaken for more because it was kind of intense. I'm not sure if that's kind of how you're feeling for this man or not but I can see it happening and I empathise with you bc that's super confusing. The guy that I was very close friends with wound up liking me as more than a friend and I sort of forced myself to want to be with him romantically bc I wanted to keep his friendship and not lose him, and also thought surely I'd eventually find him attractive bc I liked him so much but that never happened and I couldn't get past not having that physical attraction.

While I don't feel like looks are everything, for me personally, if I were to be considering seeing someone romantically I'd need to find that physical attraction after my experience. I don't think you can force something like that or that one day you'll wake up and find him handsome. But who knows? Maybe that wouldn't be the case for you. We are all wired differently. I met a couple a few years ago where the woman told me that she never found her husband to be "good-looking" but that she adored him and everything else about him made him attractive to her (he was also much older than she was).

I fear this is one of those things that you'll just need to try and be honest with yourself about (which is so hard when you're confused about it) and maybe even him as well. Being that he's 55, I'd hope he's not expecting a 30 year old to find him terribly attractive. I bet he's aware that you'd have that hurdle to figure out.

I don't know how you should go about it in your situation. I just know for me I would want to be at least somewhat physically attracted and I don't think it's something I can force. But since you're so conflicted about this and no one else knows about him, would it be the worst thing to talk it out with him? You trust him (it sounds like) and you two know a lot about one another so maybe just tell him how you're feeling. It'll give him perspective maybe and if he's a truly stand-up guy he won't try and persuade or pressure you or anything like that. It'll be more like a frame for him to view the relationship so you two are on the same page, or at least he can understand your view of things. Maybe you'll find clarity that way, by talking it out with him.

Thank you for the update! I hope my rambling made sense and that you can find some clarity in your situation somehow 💕

xoxo

[shuffleoflove]

i was looking through my notes app and found some notes i wrote while reading edge of great (the jatp novelisation) in feburary 2021 so i thought i'd post them bc i miss the time when i was so obsessed with jatp i could quote large parts of it from memory:

okay it's thicker than i expected this is a good start

multiple povs?! oh my god yesyesyes

i've read one page and I'm already loving it because i was expecting it to just be a retelling of the action with barely any insight to characters thoughts other than "i was feeling sad :(" but it's giving so much more than that

luke says sunset curve were all "vibing" shdhfnd

the dialogue is slightly different in some places but honestly i don't hate it

a pink flower in a vase next to rose?? the dahlia symbolism is here already people

bobby is a cheesy hopeless romantic confirmed

[luke about trying to be modest] "it was a new look for me, i'll admit." avdhfdhdhd

alex interrupts reggie trying to flirt with rose avdbfjdd i'm loving the new dialogue

THE HOT DOG CART IS BASICALLY CALLED SALMONELLA I-

luke makes a joke about staving to death oh god the dramatic irony

julie's literal first words are "my best friend flynn is amazing" 🥺🥺

JULIE SAID FLYNN WAS HER OTHER HALF 🥺🥺😭

loz feliz performing arts high school??

julie calls carrie cute?? girl-

i've been spelling dirty candi as "dirty candy" this whole time. whoops.

trevor has literal platinum records but the thing julie decides to point out is that one of his songs was in a car advert shdjdjfjf

nooo they took out flynn shouting demon at carrie

julie mentions flynn and how amazing she is at nearly every given opportunity

"flynn and i were always straight with each other" this is meant to a dramatic moment but i'm laughing at this ahdjdnem

julie is a writer!! not just of lyrics/poems, she writes other stuff too!!

she describes the garage as being full of ghosts when referring to memories of her mum... i'm living for all the dramatic irony

ahh julie and ray are speaking in spanish to each other so much more than they did the show

the teacup and spoon rose had been using before she died were still there 🥺

julie says that she felt like her mum was telling her to play the cd ahhh

the first thing she says about the guys is that they're cute JULIE AHDJFK

wavy hair reggie yesss

julie says oh my god instead of oh my gosh

julie doesn't know luke's name so she's calling him floppy acdjfjrks

her reasoning for letting the guys stay in the garage was because she thought it was what rose would've done 🥺🥺

ALEX'S POV HELL YEAH

they took out reggie losing his shirt this is so sad 😔

[alex about julie playing wake up] "i couldn't remember the last time I felt so moved by music that wasn't actually my own."

okay i get why they changed povs but i kind of wish we'd gotten julie's pov while she played wake up

the first episode took up about 1/5 of the book jesus-

they skipped the bit about the only thing scarier than one girl crying being two girls crying 😔

flynn: "instagram" alex: "what-stagram?"

flynn hugs julie after she tells her about playing music again awwww

noo they cut out the scene where ray comes in to the studio ffs stop cutting scenes please

alex: "it tingles in weird places" alex, literally one line later: "well, it did."

according to alex the other describe him as "warm and fuzzy"

also so far everyone's pov has called luke out for being too cheesy

reggie: "i'm gonna guess death breath"

alex is now describing luke as the puppy reggie never had

alex calling luke and reggie his family 🥺😭

when julie went into her room and found the guys messing around she was on her way to text flynn 🥺 this book just makes me love their friendship so much more

reggie is described as having "a mop of hair" god i wish 😔

dahlia symbolism count: 3. so far it's been a vase next to rose, the curtains in the studio, and the flowers in julie's picture of her

luke: "our instruments are attached to our souls." reggie: "and sometimes our belts."

okay so the book confirms that julie found therapy helpful but she just didn't want to go back because she thought others would see her as fragile, which imo is a lot better than in the show when she just seemed like she hated it

they merged alex asking if julie got back into music with luke showing her bright which i get because if they kept everything in the book would be pretty long but... idk i kinda liked how it was just julie and luke when he showed her bright

julie describes the wow performance as being like a superbowl half-time show

list of celebs who've been name-dropped so far: weezer, the smashing pumpkins, katy perry, and harry styles

julie wanted to kiss kayla?!? wlw julie confirmed

YES TIME FOR REGGIE'S POV

reggie's internal dialogue is using way more words than necessary and as an autistic person I relate to that so i'm gonna use this as proof reggie is autistic 😙✌

reggie says how little julie's smiled since they met and is now describing her smile in detail 🥺🥺

me, seeing that reggie's pov is already over: :(

me seeing that it's alex's pov and he's about to meet willie: :D

avxhfjfldnd alex was so mesmerised by how beautiful willie was he forgot to speak 😭😭

damn they took out willie asking alex if he's into guys if he wanted a picture with fake marilyn monroe (they changed it to spider-man)

y'all willie gave alex a hip bump I'm dying over here

"wait, how can i see you again?" god this is killing me i love them 😭🥺

"even if you don't have questions" willie is hardcore flirting and i respect that

"i liked the sound of that" god it's been a few minutes and alex is already whipped agshdndm

dahlia reference number 4 (this time it's a mug)

instead of calling julie "insanely talented" luke calls her "annoyingly talented"

julie canonically uses the word "bonkers" and idk why i love that so much

ahhh i'm already halfway through the book and it's still episode 3

FLYNN'S POV OH MY GOD YES YES YES

i'll look at the pictures first though

okay now onto flynn's pov

maybe this is just me, but why does everyone say "mother" instead of "mom" all the time? it seems weirdly formal but whatever

flynn calls flying solo "our song" (meaning her and julie's) 🥺

svdbfjff whenever alex went to meet willie he just said he was going for a walk

wait, walks? plural?! alex and willie had more interactions and we didn't get to see them?! livid 😤

willie wanted to show alex the museum because it was one of his favourite places... god I'm soft

"i would've followed willie just about anywhere" stoppp this is too much for me 😭🤧

"together. i liked the sound of that." awwefdhehrhe

alex's catchphrase seems to be "I liked the sound of that" rather than "okay"

"so close that I could feel his breath" why did I think they were gonna kiss 💀💀

willie: "feels good, right?" alex: "yeah, it does." alex, in his head: "i was talking about the screaming, but i was talking about being here, now, with willie, too." oh god oh fuck-

"wagging an eyebrow" girl why is that worded so weird 😭💀

nah there's no way luke doesn't know what a sample is

yess we're back to luke's pov 😎

the book confirms that it was luke who wrote "hi bobby" on the mirror but i still refuse to believe it because of the one tumblr post i saw comparing all the boys handwriting and saying it was reggie (also the writing it too neat to be luke's 😌)

they cut the entire julie-sneaks-around-while-flynn-distracts-carrie bit 😔 (and also the guys mooning trevor)

"and the truth was, [julie] was becoming important to me. i hated to let her down." awwww 🥺🥺

sbdjfkfl reggie called the hgc creepy and alex got defensive because it "was willie's place"

when luke said they were "overdressed" they all tucked their shirts in

ffs not the eyebrow wagging again (this time from flynn)

so julie considers carrie as her frenemy and not an actual enemy... inch resting...

"the awkward "joke" just sat in the air like dead fish" abdhfjf what are these metaphors

HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT WILLIE'S POV?!?! I WAS NOT EXPECTING THAT HOLY FUCK AHHHHH

awww when alex asked about the lifers being "sworn to secrecy" willie wanted to telm him about caleb owning everyone at the hgc's souls but he couldn't 🥺🥺 if I catch anyone posting willie slander it's on sight 🥊😠🥊

OKAY WHAT I'M LIVID - they reduced the whole "do this forever"/"there's a lot to like here" thing to just the dialogue. literally no mentions of the lingering glances or luke's "you got a crush on willie". fucking disgraceful. i hate it here.

THERE - WE LITERALLY HAVE PROOF THAT WILLIE DIDN'T KNOW CALEB WANTED THE GUYS TO JOIN HE HGC WILLIE ANTIS CAN GO HOME NOW

willie watched the guys getting stamped and said it felt like his stomach was filling with lead SEE I WILL NOT TOLERATE ANY WILLIE SLANDER IN THIS HOUSE

willie noticed alex looking into the crowd before leaving and wondered if he was looking for him... do tell me willie who else could he possibly be looking for

"alex said, looking stressed (then again, when did alex look not stressed?)" avshdnfmfr

julie describes nick's voice as "soft" and "graveled"

apparently julie has had a crush on nick since kindergarten, and in kindergarten nick cried because he couldn't get the lid off of his glue stick

luke says that knowing he let julie down at the dance hurt more than caleb's jolts 🥺🥺

the boys' little "sorry" song has it's lyrics written the same way the other songs, the ones actually in the soundtrack, do. tell me jatp why the sorry song isn't on the soundtrack right now 🔫😠

literally no mention of alex's dancing what in the homophobia

according to julie, finally free is about the power of connecting through music, but i still choose to believe it's a gay anthem about coming out

when julie saw her dad cooking breakfast and humming finally free she "almost died from how cute it was"

wait i just realised throughout this whole book there's been barely any mentions of julie and luke sharing the mic, and nothing about luke and reggie sharing either, and julie waking through luke in bright was just ignored. disgusting.

julie canonically thinks ray is the best dad ever 🥺🥺

that being said I'm pissed the book cut reggie from this scene

julie describes herself as being "charmed" by luke being nervous jskdkkdhs

flynn's pov again babey 😎

lmao nevermind the chapter was two pages long

also the whole perfect harmony sequence is just cut and all we hear is julie mention it to flynn... bruh

reggie and alex both see how hard luke is simping for julie and just give each other shit-eating grins whenever he mentions her dgehdjdj

when willie tells alex he can't explain why he's spying on him alex says "and to think i had felt there had maybe been something between us" fuckk

alex wondered if willie had ever had feelings for him or if he was playing him the whole time 🥺😭 bby nooo

they cut girls amirite... no one talk to me...

y'all... i think, other from julie, alex has had the most pov chapters... interesting...

the boys were literally so distressed about flynn eating pizza when they could smell it and not eat it and said they'd die of deprivation sgdhdjfkd

alex: *was choking back a sob*

willie: *was choking back a sob*

me: *was also choking back a sob*

😃 wtf... when willie says he cares about alex and hates that he brought them all into this mess, alex snaps at him... bro wtf that is not what happened and doesn't fit in with what alex was feeling in that moment at all... fuck this book

julie hugs flynn in the book at lot more than in the show so maybe it does have rights after all...

they've made a "face the music" pun at least 5 times so far in this book

wait - luke says that julie played his parents unsaid emily implying she sang it?? yo...

"but there was nothing I could say, nothing I could do, to make things better. so instead, I watched her go." why does that line hit so hard

"i pulled him in for a quick hug" lmao girl no

I JUST REALISED they cut the "i would've still followed you" scene 😭 the homophobia of it all 💀💀

'"i won't forget you," he said before spoofing out. Me either.' god don't do this to me today 🥺🥺

"with my smoothest dance move" now THAT'S the alex i know and love

the promoter and his assistant have names now: frank and tasha

the book's nearly over and i just realised there were barely any reggie pov chapters 🥺 not only is he my comfort character i also really liked his internal dialogue... oh well 😔

they really let there be spelling mistakes in this book smh

"who knew sunset boulevard smelled like cat pee and old takeout containers? not very glamorous, given that this was my hollywood rockstar dream."

"the music filling me like air - like joy" god I love that line

julie feels the need to point out how good luke looks in his tuxedo avdhdndmd

"i'm gonna miss you." "not as much as we're gonna miss you." oh god oh fuck-

wait THEY GRABBED HANDS ON STAGE??! AM I MISSING SOMETHING!?!?

"are you real?" "we were always real. But now... maybe... we're here?"

okay so i finished it and it was fun to read overall but i felt like past episode 3 was very rushed and condensed (makes sense since episode 3 finished past the half-way point of the book) and it stopped being as well written (barely any internal dialogue and descriptors), and some moments were mischaracterised heavily (including a lot of the willex) and juke just didn't seem developed at all. also i wish reggie had gotten more pov chapters since he's, y'know, a main character. i'm pretty sure he got, like, 2 :( also a lot of the music scenes lacked emotion but since this is an adaptation of something with music without music i'll let it slide. it was still nice to read either way.

[candicewright]

From planning to posting, share your process for making creative content!

To continue supporting content makers, this tag game is meant to show the entire process of making creative content: this can be for any creation.

RULES: When your work is tagged, show the process of its creation from planning to posting, then tag 5 people with a specific link to one of their creative works you’d like to see the process of. Use the tag #showyourprocess so we can find yours!

Thank you so much for tagging me @highwarlockkareena 💜

I'm tagging:

@zazrichor and this piece

@mushroomtale-fanart and this piece

@snowyfuxue and this set

@wuxxxian and this piece

@satuwilhelmiina and this piece

Of course, feel free to not do this if you don't feel like it, absolutely no pressure 💜

I'll be talking about my process for this art of Wen Qing.

Fair warning that this is going to be a bit of a mess because my process is all over the place, but I'll try my best to explain without it being too confusing.

Planning

Since this was a request, I started by reading the prompt, which asked for Wen Qing and roses. Roses are my one of my favorite flowers so I claimed the prompt and started thinking about what I was going to do with it.

I knew I wanted to do a portrait with roses surrounding Wen Qing, but I still wasn't sure about what the composition was going to be, so I started looking for references to see what would work and to get some ideas.

I started looking for photos of Meng Ziyi that I liked and at first I really liked this one.

She looks great, but when I tried sketching it I couldn't really get the angle of the face right, so I tried to look for a different picture that was within my skill level. Luckily, I remembered seeing a very pretty pucture the day before so I looked for it and this one was the one I ended up going with.

After that, I downloaded some free to use pictures of roses. I really liked the contrast and the color scheme in the pictures so I though I could apply it to the painting itself and so I began getting a clearer idea of what I wanted to do.

Creation

I opened my art program (IbisPaint X) and did a sketch of what I wanted using my references. My sketches are always super messy and I can't be bothered to do lineart, so I usually just clean them up a little bit and work over them directly. I should actually learn how to do proper lineart at some point, but today is not that day 😂

Then, I chose my base colors and filled in the drawing to get an idea of where I was going with the piece. I really likeed how it looked like this so I sent it to my friends for validation. They were extremely lovely to me as always so I was excited to continue working on it 💜

Before rendering, I knew I wanted my light source to be on the right and I wanted the shadows to be quite dark, almost black, but that's the extent of what I knew before going into it.

And then I started actually painting! Unfortunately tumblr won't let me post the process video into this post so I'm going to upload it on twitter. You can see it here! I don't really know how to describe how I paint other than there's a lot of going back and forth and over stuff that I already thought was finished. The whole thing took around 12 hours, which is a bit longer than I usually spend on a portrait but I think it was worth it!

For the main piece I only used three brushes. I did add a bit of glow and sparkles with different brushes on a separate program, but I mostly used these three:

Note that these are at full opacity but I usually work a very low opacity because my stylus doesn't have pressure sensitivity (bc my equipment sucks) and that's the only way I have to blend my colors without the blending tool, which I don't really like because it takes away the texture.

I also had a bit of trouble with the colors in this one because it's not what I usually do, but after multiple adjustments and with help from the references, I ended up with something I really liked!

After the piece was done, I added some of my usual sparkles and a bit of glow and then saved it to my gallery. Then, I opened my editing software and played with the contrast, saturation, brightness and some filters. I was left with three versions of the art that I liked: the one I eventually went with and these two (I still really like the first one tbh).

I sent it to my friends so that they could help me pick which one looked better and after a long period of very serious deliberation (read: we all panicked bc we're gay and can't choose) we ended up going with the one that ended up being posted to the mdzs net!

I then sent it to the net for posting and waited (im)patiently for it to go up! ❤

And that's it! I hope someone can get something put of the mess that is my process or that it was at least enjoyable!!!!!

[syubub]

Yoongi birthday reading/energy check!!

It's sweet sweet tangerine bois birthday!!

I wanted to do a cute little energy check up to see what's up and ask some fun little questions!!

I'm excited so let's just do this shit!!

Disclaimer: this is for entertainment purposes and not to be taken as fact!!

---

I want to apologize for the absolute shit pictures but what's new lol

So, let's start with the platform. First thing I noticed was the blue was brighter but the platform was darker? It was like someone cranked up the contrast to 100. Ngl it looked pretty cool. Yoongis platform doesn't typically have a barrier like some of the others do so I just kinda walked in and did the whole, "happy birthday, I have questions" His energy seemed a lot more... vibrant? And playful I guess? It was really nice. Now. The actual connection was intresting because the cord was blue again and like, real thick. (I don't think my perceived thickness of the cord has and real correlation with how strong the connection is. It was just thicc) this time though, the cord was connected at the chest instead of the third eye. So i was like, ??? But my guide didn't give my any sort of helpful input (my guide likes to watch me suffer in my confusion. I'm sure of it)

Anyway, cord like that and then yoobi gave me a headbutt to connect at the third eye. Idk why he gotta be like that :( istg next time he's gonna flick my forehead or something.

I was like "cool cool cool. I want to do the reading now pls" and idk how to explain the energy other than sassy. You know? Blah blah blah I'm thinking, "I don't remember him being so cheeky but maybe I've been gone long enough for him to level up into his final sass monster form"

Anywho, this was intresting because after the little strings were connected and stuff, we plopped down on the floor. And it was like everything I was doing irl was being mimicked infront of yoons energy? So we were sitting facing eachother and I was putting the cards down between us?? Usually that doesn't happen but it was kinda fun!!

Moving right along. I first asked if there was anything he wanted to say or needed to get across and it was 11. Now, 11 has come up before and I'm still not to sure what it's in reference to? My best guess is possibly he's been seeing 11:11 or that it's 2? Idk let me know if you have any clues lol. Other stuff was just kinda banter and stuff.

So so so.

The reading. First thing I asked was how he was doing. And I shuffled his preticular way (when I ask a question I always ask for the energy to tell me how much to shuffle or when to stop. For yoongi it's always 2-2-2. So 2 bridge shuffles, 2 hand shuffles and then split the pile in 2. That's why I think 11 might be 2 to him?)

The cards we got are ace of swords rev, justice,the heirophant rev, the empress.

So based off this I was like okay. I want to pull clarity cards for the two rev cards to get a better picture so I pulled the emperor rev for ace or swords rev and strength rev and wheel of fortune rev for the heirophant rev.

Starting with the ace of swords rev, and the emperor reverse. It seems like yoongi has been re thinking his relationship to control in his life. That's he's possibly noticing any unhealthy needs to control his life and the situation around him. It could also refer to his judgment being clouded by a rigid approach.

With the justice card it makes me think that he's possibly considering a big choice in his life or that he's really doing some deconstructing of his own views. This second idea fits in well with him getting clarity on some possibly unhealthy control issues in his life.

Now. The heirophant rev, strength rev and wheel of fortune reverse. This was intresting to me bc they are all major arcana. The heirophant rev can really talk about no longer needing outside approval and making your own way in your own time bc you are your own teacher. Strength in rev I kinda read as self doubt and feeling down in this case. Like a lack of confidence in himself and his abilities. And the wheel of fortune in reverse I took to mean as his breaking cycles. All together these cards kinda paint a picture about wanting and trying to break a cycle of self doubt and self limiting beliefs and learning more about himself and why he think what he does about himself and searching through everything for truth. It's really good!! In short he's doing some nice soul searching and trusting himself to guide his own way through this self discovery!

The empress! This card seems to pop up for yoobi a lot and I think it really speaks to the abundance that surrounds him! Not just money but the abundance of creativity, love, friends ect.

Now now now. I asked him if there was anything that he wanted to tell us about himself or bts or what's happening in the near future. For that I got 2 of cups, king of wands and 3 of coins.

So the 2 of cups is partnership. Usually romantic. Could be pertaining to the may 13th thing that is ever present lol but I'll get to that later. With the 3 of coins talking about teamwork, this could definitely hint at collaborations coming up!! That's the vibe I get. No one crush my dreams. And for the king of wands it could be talking about taking the reigns on a new project and starting to get it done. Like a new opportunity. This could be a new bts project like starting a new campaign or new venture or maybe personal like the a mixtape or doing more songs for other groups ect.

I had to ask him how he was feeling about the grammys. I had to. Had to. The cards were ace of wands, 2 of wands and death reverse. When these came flying out I could help but smile. Yoongis energy was almost giddy too!

Witht he ace of wands

It's that spark of creativity and inspiration. It's that feeling when you get super excited over some new thing. I think this is the perfect example for feeling reinvigorated. The 2 of wands takes that spark from the ace and tries to funnel that excitement and newness into something directional. Using that burst of creativity to start planning for future progress!! Its so nice to see that! If they don't win (IF) you bet we're gonna get some bangers about a corrupt system. If (WHEN) they do win we'll get bangers about how thankful they are to have gotten where they are in spite of a corrupt system. I just want to hear an uncensored version of yoongi being like, "HOLY FUCKING SHIT, WE DID IT BITCHES. FUCK ALL YOU BASTARDS THAT SAID WE COULDN'T."

I can dream....

What a nice dream.

Now I asked if there was anything yoobi wanted to say to us as in advice or comfort or anything like that and I got, Clearing negativity, make time for self care, when I'm tuned into the energy of abundance I become abundant. when I'm in a state of appreciation im in vibrational alignment with my true love nature. The world rev, 2 of swords rev and that project, that person, that idea is waiting.

Awe. Take care of yourselves!! Make sure to take time to enjoy what you like and try not to let any negativity get in the way of you enjoying your days. The world rev to me seems to be talking about seeking closure on the things in your life that have been impacting you. Tie up those loose ends so you can move foward without triping over yourself and 2 of swords rev I think talks about information overload and being kinda indecisive bc of that. Take a sep back to evaluate the situation at hand because sometimes it's so close you can't see what you're looking for. Those of you who are studying and getting frustrated because you just can't seem to get it, try taking a step back and doing something to take care of yourself and come back to it so you can approach with a clearer mind. Try not to get stuck or paralyzed by choice but if you do get stuck, take some time to detach yourself from the situation and come back later!

A fair few people wanted an update on yoobis soulmate as well. If you need a refresher here's the run down. Yoongis soulmate is impossible for me to read, yoongi is a smug ass and I'm nosy and probably a little dumb.

Now that that's cleared up

I asked, "am I missing something?" (As to why I can't connect and why yoongi won't give me answers.)

I got queen of cups, magician and the high priestess. I read this as him being like, "yeah dude, you aren't woke enough"

YOONGI just give me answers pls. The high priestess is intuition and sacred knowledge, the magician is manifestation and the queen of cups is also intuition.

At this point I was like, okay you little shit, can you at least tell me how your soulmate is doing? Can you do that for me?

2 of cups, 2 of pentacles, 9 of wands and knight of wands. 2 of cups is partnership usually romantic, 2 of pentacles is priorities and managing them, 9 of wands persistence, knight of wands motivation for a new thing. His soulmate last time was in the process of going through some shit and figuring it out and it seems like now they've got a better clue of how to move foward and are currently heading towards good things/ important things in their life (possibly like working towards dream career or had an idea for a business the want to start or field they want to go in.)

I was thinking about the next question when this popped into my head, "if you know about your akashic book, do you know about your soulmates? Have you read it?" I used my pendulum. No movement at all. What so ever. "Are you listening to me?" Yes. "So answer my question please" No. "Do you like to watch me suffer?" Maybe. "Do you know the answer to the question" yes.

YOONGI WHY

This cheeky son of a bitch.

Now I was like, fuck it. Imma ask him the big boi question.

"Is your soulmate present when I do these readings?" Yes.

WHY THE FUCK CAN I NIT PICK UP ON IT???

I had to take a deep breath dude. Yoobi is testing my nerves.

"Are they hiding their energy?" No.

I was actually gonna combust. This makes no sense.

I asked yoongi if he would tell me what I'm not getting. Silence. So i ask my guide.

"lol ur dumb"

Watch me Google "how to fire your spirit guide"

Istg this feels like some dumb prank. Maybe I'm just genuinely oblivious to his soulmates energy or maybe I'm just doing something.

What do you want to bet that his soulmate is just hiding under the platform and I'm too stupid to notice or some dumb thing like that.

yoobi, sir, why must you do this?

I decided to continue.

"What message or thing have you learned from your soulmate recently that could be valuable to us?" I got healthy communication in relationships and deep replenishment.

Good to know you can have a nice communicative relationship with your soulmate bc I CAN'T.

I'm petty about it, sue me.

The message does stand though. Good communication and taking proper rest to replenish yourself.

Now I had to ask yoongi directly what he thought of may 13th.

I got the lovers, 7 of swords, the magician and judgement. The seven of swords was intresting and it makes me think there's some extra stuff at play here too. 7 of swords is about getting away with something and deceit. The clarifier was the magician.... this could mean a lot honestly. It could be that maybe yoongi will have his relationship exposed or possibly that maybe him and his soulmate meet but yoongi is disguised? Idk how that would work at all but I'm stumped. There's a lot of variations that this could be. The magician is about manifesting and having everything you need to create what you want. This could possibly mean that maybe he gets a sudden idea that's like, "oh I have to go here right now. Its super important" eventhough he has practice scheduled. So that would let down his team but he would be following his path and it might lead to him meeting his soulmate? Maybe vice versa? Idk let me know what you think??

With the judgement its about inner calling and kinda like the peak. Like shit has been leading up to this moment. With the lovers too it does seem like a union?

I asked him, "but like what's gonna happen on the 13th thought and I got the 10 of cups. Divine love, bliss, alignment, happy mushy gushy shit. This is why I'm so inclined to think that they'll meet on the 13th or things will get serious or their paths finally cross. The cards seem to heavily suggest that.

My dude. Yoongi is really sappy, pass it on.

For the last question I asked yoomgi if there was messages/ advice he had given to his soulmate that we might benefit from.

First step, open your third eye, open your heart, sign from heaven, open your arms to receiving.

A lot of opening lol.

It's good advice though learning to be open and receptive and taking that first step in tackling life or any situation.

Oki. Now for the disconnecting. It was not nearly as strange as it has been in the past. I was just like thanks dude. Again, happy birthday blah blah and I got up to leave. I noticed it looked like we were in sitting in one of those old plastic hoola hoops? Like the pink and yellow ones lol. As I was looking at and and like??? Off to the side the numbers 13, 28, 54. Obvi 54 isn't a date and then I the last yoongi check up there was book pages and I feel like 54 and 28 were the pages?? I'm not actually sure as I'm writing this so I'm gonna check.

Yep I checked. They are the page #s.

So that's intresting.

Other than that though I just kinda left and he was like, "bye" and that's all.

Not as cool as other yoongi adventures but equally as frustrating.

TLDR

Yoongis doing pretty okay and he's a cheeky little shit. My guide like to watch me suffer and yoobi is mushy gushy squishy.

Happy day of birth Syub!!

[juicemitio]

Alright I went to Louisville Galaxycon and saw Travis and Clint twice, for their worldbuilding workshop and their Q&A. Here's some interesting stuff I learned (I didn't include stuff they talked about that's pretty common knowledge or they talked about on the last ttazz)

Graduation 

Fitzroy was originally going to be a jock that was weak bc he no longer had a team, Travis told Griffin that that didn't really work for the world so they reframed it as him training to be a hero, was great academically and behaviorally, but had a problem no one had seen before and no one felt like dealing with. It specifically wasn't "barbarian fails bc he can't keep his rage in check," it was that no one was willing to deal with his magic so they shipped him off

Someone asked Travis to explain fitzroy's magic, so from the DM's mouth- he's a barbarian subtype with elemental magic which has a random effect while raging, which we haven't seen yet (path of the wild soul if you want to look it up and see what he can do) and he took a feat which gives him the ability to cast 3 cantrips of his choosing. What I thought was interesting was that Travis described Fitz's magic using the word "elemental" twice, even though that isn't specifically stated in the path of the wild soul entry

Travis knows Argo's secret and is very excited about it 

Clint has a pirate fiction book he reads every night before they record to get into the headspace to play Argo, he told us the name but I forgot it 

There is one small little concept that made the whole of graduation make sense to Travis and is what the arc will be about, and he only figured it out a few days before recording. Obviously he didn't tell us what it was

Originally it was going to start with everyone starting at age 11 and slowly killing the other kids off, but Justin didn't feel comfortable playing a game surrounded by kids dying 

The accounting scene is already one of Travis' all time favorite taz scenes

The pegasus scene informed Travis on exactly how he was going to treat the firbolg

Also Travis referred to Justin's character exclusively as "the firbolg," which means "master firbolg" is solely a thing going on with the npcs in the game which I find hilarious. They just all decided to give him a dope title bc he deserves it, meanwhile no one will call Fitzroy "sir"

To Fitzroy, social threats are an extremely real and serious thing, like the Biggest thing to him (we were talking about what characters found threatening in the workshop, for context)  

There's some big concept/idea that comes up in the next episode that travis almost let spill and had to quickly stop himself from saying it

Someone mentioned eating breakfast in their question in the workshop and Travis goofed on it for a second, then said "cereal world" suddenly, and Clint had to pick up the question bc Travis had to take a second to make a note of it in his phone 

Travis started brainstorming graduation in March and they recorded the first episode in October, and his main job in that time was working on graduation 

Before Buckminster was adapted for graduation he could not fight at all, if he got into a fight he would die, he poured everything into charisma and could talk his way out of any fight (even the big bad of the game he crit 20d his check and the big bad walked away from the fight) 

Travis is really into psychology and how if you assign a label to someone they're going to act more like it (ie you tell a kid they're amazing and smart and talented and they become more like that, you tell a kid they're annoying and dumb and a problem they become more like that), and how that was a major contributor to play into hero/villain/sidekick/henchperson dynamics, you get assigned this arbitrary title of good/evil/subservient and you become like that to fit the role, and then the inevitable pushing against that mold

Travis is fully aware of his story being compared to harry potter and he doesn't care bc it's apt (people in a school arbitrarily divided into four groups and one of them is the Bad One), also he knows people describe it as "sky high meets Harry Potter meets my hero academia" and he actually finds that really flattering bc he thinks that sounds cool and like something he'd want to watch 

On that note, Travis is a self-identified Slytherin and he's always upheld that the reason Slytherin is depicted in a bad light is bc Rowling decided she didn't like them, and he's always sympathized with the idea of a first year Slytherin working their ass off following the rules and doing their work and getting points, and Dumbledore rewards three idiots for breaking like every rule and pulls the trophy away from you. This was a big inspiration for graduation, of one group getting a bad rep and being portrayed as evil for literally no reason 

Amnesty

Clint & Travis's favorite scene they've ever done together was Ned & Aubrey's final scene together 

Aubrey and Dani do move in with each other at the end of amnesty

Balance

Travis' main emotion around taz is pride and he's most proud of the scene in stolen century with the spirits in the robots, bc they had to record it a second time bc it got way too dark and ended in a really grim way and about 20 min after they finished they all decided that they weren't happy with it, that it didn't fit the tone, he's really proud they didn't just leave it be and they took the second pass at it to make it right

I'm pretty sure he's talked about wanting to kill Magnus off at the beginning before but he mentioned that it was only at the end of petals to the metal he actually realized he wanted Magnus to live, bc Hurley had to sacrifice herself to save Magnus bc Magnus had been so reckless, that hit Travis really hard. Travis realized that Magnus' recklessness was getting people hurt and so Magnus did too, so Magnus become a bit more cautious and took up rogue training to try not to get anyone killed again 

Dust

Dust wasn't designed to be anything more than a one off and the workload was completely unsustainable, the document of notes for dust was about 100 pages and only about 10% of it got used

The reason Travis loved it so much was bc it was a mystery and he found it really fun

Commitment

Clint would love to revisit commitment, but probably not in podcast form bc he didn't find himself really being in the moment as much bc of all the different things he had to keep track of, he'd like to see a comic adaptation/continuation if possible

It was based of a comic he wrote that never got published bc the company producing it failed (he still cashed his paycheck) so he reused it bc he still liked it a lot, it was about how America was founded as a monarchy instead of a democracy and what that changed in the usa's (united sovereignty of america's) history, and how people now were fighting to establish a democracy. Also there were cowboys and spaceships and other cool stuff he put in there bc he liked it

General adventure zone

The reason why they're are able to do romantic relationships w/o being weirded out by it (they joke about it but they don't actually care) is bc it's never done in an explicit or sexual way and since it's the decision the characters would make to pursue the relationship then that's the decision they make. He reframed it as it wouldn't be weird if a family were writing a script together and there was a romance and one person wrote lines for one character and the other wrote lines for the other. He did mention that two siblings playing characters in a relationship as actors on screen wouldn't be cool though

They sometimes get comments that some of the stuff they do is "fanservice," but they feel that they owe their success to their fans and they owe some to them 

They are both aware of and proud that Justin is the best at character creation, Clint specifically really was talking about how Justin's strong suit is definitely character creation and characterization

General mcelroy stuff

They walked pretty close to me when they entered the stage room for the q&a and like… they're short, like shorter than you think

Travis referred to his unborn child as "baby dod" (I'm not 100% certain but I'm pretty sure) which I looked up and is a nickname for George, and given with their older kid being named Barbera and nicknamed BeBe and Travis talking before about how he and his wife like classic names with cool nicknames it makes sense

Travis had an earing in his right ear, I didn't get to see his left ear and I couldn't tell if it was an actual piercing or a fake, it looked really good though. Also his tinted glasses look a lot cooler irl than they do in pictures

Clint told the teenage mutant Ninja turtle story with the signatures that griffin told on mbmbam, but Clint remembered it as happening at King's Island, not Disney. This story was prompted by the question of the biggest lie he ever told his kids, and he only came clean about this a few months ago

Travis told a story about how he finished a videogame when he was younger and was so excited that he picked up a plastic knife, yelled "throwing knife!" threw it directly at Griffin who dodged it and it hit and shattered a window