#i had to look my mom in the eyes recently and say 'mother you know better. i Know you know better. i will not mend clothing like this for u
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bf! seokmin x reader
synopsis: seokmin is best dressed for your cousin’s wedding.
warnings: everybody likes seokmin, happy relationships, mentions of family, nicknames, hints of seokmin’s eczema, implied female and shorter reader, not edited
wc: 771
notes: just got back from a wedding and this happened to my cousin and her partner and i thought that is my man dk energy. i had to get it out. daily dose of seokmin i missed him (i write for him A LOT and prob won’t stop)
origin of header
you hear quick-footed stomps echo down the wooden stairs of your family’s airbnb. your eyes dart toward the direction of the abrupt noise before focusing back to your original task.
you trill your lips, watching the baby in the carrier smile while biting his two fingers. he takes them out and bubbles back at you, forming a conversation.
you nod your head happily and tickle his tummy lightly; your cousin, enjoying the interaction her nephew is having.
“he is infatuated with you, isn’t he?” you snap your head over your shoulder to observe seokmin’s gaze lingering on the baby. noticing he has your attention, he meets your eyes that melts his own with an adoring smile.
another uncle walks by and pats his shoulder, “might have some competition there bud.”
seokmin’s giggles accompany your chuckle. instantly, he straightens up and puts his hands in his pockets, refining his “chill guy aura” bit as he calls it.
“at least i recently learned how to wipe my own ass,” he jokes back, puffing out his chest a bit.
you roll your eyes and smack his chest while your family chuckles, reverberating in the living room. you glance back at seokmin, noticing the way with each chuckle from your family brings a brighter cheer from him.
you lean into his side and rub his back gently, feeling the fabric rub between your fingertips; on instinct, he wraps his closest arm around your back, vying for a free piece of skin to ground himself to you.
faintly, you say to him, “they already love you…”
seokmin leans his head on top of yours, watching your cousin struggle with their baby. “i’m glad, or else i would need to apply more cream on my hands.”
you pout, going for a polite squeeze of his butt before your mother walks down in a nice dress.
her gaze lingers on seokmin for a second and she smiles before turning back to you.
“oh you look great!” she applauds, detaching you from your boyfriend into her arms.
you smile. “thanks…at least someone who claims to love me compliments my outfit.”
you slowly spin around to meet seokmin’s tender gaze.
he snaps out of it and dramatically looks around behind him before focusing back on you. “oh yes you do look stunning, love.”
“just get your ass in the car—“ you playfully stomp over to him, giving him fake pushes to go toward the door. he laughs and blushes while your family watches with content.
you stop.
“min—you are not wearing that.”
he snorts before rubbing his nose, an act he puts on when he wants you to continue your statement.
you cross your arms. “you cannot wear swim trunks to a wedding.”
he spins a full circle with his arms open, to flaunt to the laughing audience. “but there is a pool.”
you bite your lip to halt your impending laughter. seokmin notices your lip tremble and keeps going.
“i think this outfit looks formal enough—it even has a beautiful sunset on the bottom to you know? set the scene.”
a smile spreads across your lips. seokmin saunters over to you, grabbing your elbows to bring you closer to him.
your face flushes, recognizing whom you are in front of. seokmin only recognizes you at that moment, tilting his head down to give you a peck on your lips.
“you drive a hard bargain with that smile, my love. i’ll go change.”
he climbs back up the stairs, leaving you in a daze. as your family now resumes getting everything together to leave for the wedding.
sometimes you can sneak a glance a family member who gives one of your parents a knowing look you can only describe as a form of agreement.
your mom tosses you the car keys, as stomps fall back down on your ears. you watch as seokmin tucks his navy fitted shirt into his beige pants.
he makes his way to your side and presses a kiss to your head.
you chuckle and sigh sarcastically, “you’re a goofy one aren’t you?”
he digs his nose into your hair. “only to make you smile.”
as people started making their way through the front door to their cars, you ask him under your breath, “how badly flushed was your face?”
he chuckles, rubbing your side. “not too bad, think i’m getting comfortable with the people here.”
you intertwine your fingers with his, noticing their softness. you rub your fingers against his, a habit you somehow formed after being together.
“can’t believe the baby dressed better than you too.”
seokmin whines with a light-hearted stomp in response.
#seventeen x reader#seventeen#seventeen imagines#svt x reader#seokmin x reader#dk x reader#dokyeom x reader#seventeen seokmin
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Missing(SarinaWiegmanXTeenDaughter)

Warning: mental health struggeles, Diabetes
Summary: it's your first Camp, the next morning you are Missing and everyone is worried. Especially your Mom.
Camp was a big deal for you. You were 17 years old and got called Up to the England Senior Squad. You had to read alot of shit online about you just being picked cause of Sarina being your mother. Spoiler alert, If at all this made things more difficult for you. Cause your Mom was keeping an extra eye on you. You also got offered to Play for the dutch national Team. But since you were born in England you decided to Play for them.
After Team Dinner on arrival day you went to bed. Sharing a room with Jess Park. When she was asleep around midnight you grabbed some of your clothes. Put them in a Backpack and sneaked out. Leaving the Camp Training grounds. You had your Phone turned off right now.
When Jess woke up the next morning around 6:30am she thought you already went to have breakfast. So she didn't worry just yet. That changed two hours later when your mom walked into the conference room with a concerend look on her face.
"has anyone seen y/n?" Your Mom asked. Jess frowned.
"not since Last night. She was gone when i woke Up around 6:30am." She stated.
"i am worried. I just checked your room and she took some of her clothes and all of her Insulin gone." Your Mom explained. "And her Phone is turned off. Has anyone noticed anything different about her?" She wanted to know. Cause even though you are Here as a Player for the First time, all the Girls have known you for a few years now.
"we haven't seen her and haven't noticed anything." Lucy said softly.
"she also was acting normal before we got here!" Leah stated. Your captain became like a big sister to you and she was your teammate at Arsenal. You made your debut there two Seasons ago.
"let's find her." Alessia got up from her seat. She also became a big sister to you. You even lived with her sometimes when your parents weren't Home.
"yes let's do that!" Tooney said.
They made little groups and went to look for you. You currently were sitting in a 24 hour Diner. Sipping on a Coffee. Your Mom went there after looking for you for an hour because Alessia knew you liked that place. She took you there a few times.
"y/n, thank god you are here!" Your Mom said softly.
"Mom, what are you doing here? Leah, Alessia..." You whispered out. Wiping away some tears.
"are you kidding? You ran away from Camp. We all were worried sick! Sarina was close to calling the Police!" Leah stated. She obviously looked pretty stressed. Same with Lessi and your Mom.
"i am sorry. Le & Less. And Mom... I didn't mean to scare you!" You answered. Sighing softly to yourself.
"well why did you leave in the first place?" Your Mom wanted to know.
"excellent question. Was about to ask the same!" Leah stated.
"okay, maybe let her explain." Alessia told them.
"thanks Lessi!" You replied and took a deep breath before speaking up again. "Have you been online recently? People say that i am only Part of the Lionesses because of who my Mom is! That Hurts. It really messes with my head." You admitted and then teared up. They all frowned.
"y/n... don't believe those people. They are just jealous and probably very unhappy with their own lifes. That's why they look for other people to tear down. those Keyboard Warriors think they are untouchable and can be mean whenever they want to be. It's to make themselves feel better about things." Leah told you. Alessia nodded her head softly in agreement.
"yes everything Leah said is true! You are so talented and deserve to be a lionesses." Alessia replied. Your Mom spoke up now after listening to Let & Lessi Talk.
"Leah and Alessia are right, my Girl. You deserve to be here. I don't make decisions lightly. You know that. I expect the best No Matter what." Your Mom let you know. It was true. You did know that. Those words from the online Community still hurt.
"i know...deep down i know... But it still Hurts Hearing that!"you admitted.
You walked back to Trainings camp, everyone was waiting on thr Trainings Pitch for you, your Mom, Lessi and Leah. The England captian has texted them about why you left and they wanted to make sure that didn't happen again.
So when you walked onto the pitch Grace pulled you into a hug. You happened to love hugs from Grace. Grace was giving the best hugs out of all of them honestly. She also happened to be one of your favorite people. Like ever.
"don't let anyone Tell you that you don't belong, cause you belong. You are one of us!" Grace stated.
"Clinton is right Kid." Lucy said and ruffled your hair. Which you quickly fixed again.
"thank you." You told them and offered them a small smile. Hugging Grace back.
"yeah they are right! And don't ever Run away again, please!" Jess Park told you.
"i agree with Jess! You scared the hell out of us!" Aggie let you know.
"thank you Girls for telling her how good she fits in!" Your Mom said softly and smiled at them. Practice started a little bit later and you gave it your all. The Trainings Video on the Lionesses Channel had Lots of nice comments about you and it made people realize that you in fact did deserve your place there.
Later that day you sat with your Mom in the conference room, just the two of you. You watched her Work on some Game Plans.
"i am sorry for running away, Mom!" You spoke up. Biting down on your bottom lip.
"you know i was really worried about you. Especially when you Phone was turned off. I thought you had one of your Low blood sugars or something like that. It was quite scary!" Your Mom said and placed a hand on your arm. Giving it a gentle squeeze. You hugged her and didn't let go for a while.
"i didn't even think about you being worried. I should have known you were concerned. I promise i won't do that again and won't just turn my Phone off anymore." You answered. She held you close. Kissing the top of your head.
"that's appreciated sweet Girl. Cause no matter what i will always worry about you." Your Mom explained. "Cause that's what moms do!" She added.
The two of you sat there, hugging eachother for a little while longer. Just enjoying eachothers company.
#woso x reader#woso fic#sarina wiegman x reader#lionesses reader#alessia russo x reader#leah williamson x reader#grace clinton x reader#aggie beever jones x reader#lucy bronzexreader
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here's what you can do, right now:
start Learning. research what has been hidden from you. and the next time someone tells you they simply must buy garbage clothing, tell them they're fucking Wrong
clothes should not be cheap and you have to get over that! clothing used to be one of the number one if not The number one expense people had!! normalize that energy again!!!
sidenote that podcast episode is, like. Fine. but maybe look at some people who entirely focus on clothing or textiles or whatever and maybe don't make brooklynites who think buying a brand new aran sweater directly from ireland every two years is a reasonable and thrifty thing to do and are not specialists, like. your only authority on this issue. bc they have some ok points but it's for sure, like. Baby's First Real Conversation about the "modern clothing sucks" problem. kinda vibe. aran knit sweaters are lifetime items if maintained properly and i cannot imagine one individual needing to own more than three at once Tops
so many articles about Fast Fashion, not enough articles about what the hell is happening to the quality of clothes
Like okay. People own more pieces of clothing nowadays and they wear them a lesser number of times before throwing them out. BUT.
Why do we pretend like this is pure vanity or careless wastefulness, rather than forced by the qualities of the clothes themselves?
The other day, I was going through boxes of old clothes in the basement in search of fabric to practice sewing on. The difference in quality of the fabrics themselves is shocking! The worn-out old jeans from twenty years ago are MUCH thicker and tougher than anything more recent. My old baby clothes are made as sturdy as my work clothes from today.
In the past couple years, I have had entire seams rip out of clothes on the first wash. That's not normal!
Polyester blend shirts that feel cozy and soft when they are new, become scratchy and rough after 20 washes or so. I am trying to avoid polyester, but it gets harder and harder; the other day i couldn't find a single pack of crew socks that was 100% cotton. SOCKS!
Also, pilling is out of control. The newest pants I bought developed pills within a single day of walking around campus with a backpack.
These companies are trying to frog-boil us but touching clothes from twenty years ago, the useless crap of today would stick out like a sore thumb...
#i mend clothes for people and i turn them down for repair if i know it will just fall apart again immediately#i had to look my mom in the eyes recently and say 'mother you know better. i Know you know better. i will not mend clothing like this for u#it is not worth it. stop buying garbage like this. absolutely just stop. i wont mend it for you. it's Garbage.'#i thrift exclusively and have for basically my entire life but im switching to making most of my wardrobe#and anyway thrifting clothes has gotten harder over tjm#and wayyy less fun#bc by gd do i have to touch some truly heinous textures fucking constantly while i sort thru racks#how the fuck yall even stand that crap on your skin for more than a damn second is beyond me#textiles
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I really loved your career day fic and I was wondering if you could do a Shut up mom fic with the same lineup with nanami tho if you write for him🥺 👉👈
Shut up, Mom!
Tags: teeth rotting fluff, mostly crack, cursing, jjk men as dads / fem!reader
An: I would be delighted to write this anon :) my requests are open, loves. If you want me to write a specific idea, definitely ask and I’ll try to deliver on it! also, if anyone wants to be on a taglist please let me know. So, I gave Sukuna a kid in this one because I didn’t really see Yuji calling you mom or him dad. Yuji calls you two unc and auntie :)
SATORU • SUGURU • TOJI • SUKUNA • NANAMI

SATORU
“Aoi, did you take out the trash?” You ask your nine-year-old son while trying not to giggle. Aoi has recently discovered pranks, and he suggested playing one on Satoru. You couldn’t help but think that was an amazing idea.
Your husband was leisurely sitting on the couch, playing a game on the console he and your son shared. He was able to see you from his peripheral vision while you and Aoi were in the dining room. He didn’t seem to be too intrigued by the conversation, but Satoru is a chronic eavesdropper. He can’t help it with his technique and all.
“No, mom. Why can’t you do it?” Aoi plays his role perfectly, even throwing in an annoyed groan at you. Gojo cut his eyes towards you two, but he stayed silent for a moment. He knew this was your battle to face, and he wasn’t usually the disciplinary parent anyways.
“Because I told you to do it, Aoi. It’s your chore.” You say, putting on a serious voice as you would if he had really been sassing off to you.
“Ugh. Shut up, mom!” Aoi yells with a dramatic eye roll.
Immediately, you hear the game console cut off. It seems like you two had garnered Satoru’s attention. Footsteps carry into the dining room, and your all too tall husband leans against the doorframe.
Aoi sees his father, and his eyes widen. Your little actor. He then tries to walk off, but Satoru easily put his hand out against Aoi’s chest, preventing him from going anywhere.
“Woah, woah, woah, there little man. Who do you think you’re talking to there?” He interjects as his hands slowly unwrap his bindings from around his eyes, letting you know that he’s about to get serious.
“She’s getting on my nerves, dad!” Aoi continues to play the role, even though you can tell that he’s scared shitless.
“Hey, look at me.” Satoru says as he bends his knees to be eye level with Aoi. Your son complies with his dad’s order. “I don’t give a shit, okay? Never, and I mean, never tell your mother to shut up unless you intend on fighting me afterwards. She says to take out the trash, you say yes and take out the trash. Do you understand me?” Satoru says as he holds his son’s shoulders, squeezing them a bit so Aoi knows he’s not fooling around.
“Because I don’t think you want to fight me, do you?” Satoru questions. His blue eyes beam in the light, making your son nervously sweat.
“Baby, it’s just a prank.” You quickly interject with a laugh as you gently nudge your husband away from your son.
“Yeah dad, I was just acting!!” Aoi’s nervous gaze flutters into an adorable smile.
Satoru rolls his eyes and playfully laughs along. “You two are too silly, makin’ me turn off my game for this.” He shakes his head as he wraps his eyes back up.
“You were like gonna hollow purple me!” Aoi shouts with an excited laugh, and he reenacts Satoru’s cursed technique.
“Yeah, I love your mom a little too much.” Satoru responds with a grin up towards your direction.
SUGURU
Mimiko and Nanako are coming into their teen years, and recently, they’ve been obsessed with the idea of TikTok. After seeing the “shut up mom” prank all over, they knew that they had to play it on Suguru.
You, of course, agreed to help them pull off their little shenanigan.
“You two are not going out. It’s a school night.” You chide at the twin girls, giving them a small wink as Suguru was enjoying a cup of tea while sitting at the breakfast bar. He was scrolling mindlessly on his phone, reading the news or something like that.
“Mom, please. Everyone’s going.” Nanako pled and even threw in a small pout.
“Yeah, who cares if it’s a school night?” Mimiko chimed in.
“Girls.” Suguru warned as he normally did when you were having to deal with the twins. He didn’t like the idea of the girls ganging up on you.
“I said no. I bet you two didn’t even do your homework yet either.” You carry on, eyeing the two girls as if they were really in trouble.
“Ugh! Mom, shut up!” The girls somehow managed to say in sync. The two had obviously practiced their lines.
The tea glass hit the counter, and Suguru a stood up from his seat on the stool. “Hey. I don’t ever want to hear that kind of language in this house, especially not to your mother. Got that?” He said as he eyed your daughters.
Your husband was a bit of a strict father to the girls. He really just wanted them to turn out good, so he was the main disciplinary figure in the house.
“Dad! She’s-“
“Aht.” He cuts Mimiko off, and starts to walk up to the girls. “I didn’t ask. Apologize to your mother this instant. Then, go upstairs and do your homework. You two are grounded from going out for at least a month.”
“Sugu, it’s a prank.” You say as you can’t hold back a laugh from how angry he got that quickly. “It’s a prank, sweetie.”
Your two girls were nodding quickly, holding their hands out in surrender. “We saw it on TikTok!”
Suguru rolls his eyes at the three of you. “That app is no good for you.” He quietly chides. “Did you two do your homework?”
Mimiko and Nanako exchange nervous glances, and they both run up to their rooms to get it done.
Your husband laughs quietly and shakes his head before sitting back down on his stool. You walk over towards him and card your fingers through his long hair. He lets out a long exhale of contentment while leaning his head into your touch. “What are we gonna do with those two, hm?”
“Love them and try our best to teach them.” You softly respond before pressing a kiss to his cheek.
TOJI
Toji is a pretty laid back dad. He lets you take the lead on a lot of the parenting aspects, since it comes to you more naturally than it does with him. However.. he has his moments.
“Megumi, come help me do the dishes.” You say to your 13-year-old son. He’s in that weird stage of puberty where you’re his best friend one day and his worst enemy the next, which means he sometimes agreed to play pranks with you.
“Busy, mom.” He mumbles at the table as he’s trying to learn the hand signs for one of his shikigami. He was left learning this stuff on his own since Toji wasn’t a sorcerer, and you weren’t apart of the Zenin clan. You had no idea how to do the hand gestures.
“You can do that after you’re done helping me, Gumi.” You say as you turn on the kitchen sink. Your son doesn’t even acknowledge that you said anything.
Toji eyes him from his seat at the dining table, waiting for his son to comply.
“Gumi. Get in here.” You finally say after a minute of him not responding to you.
“Shut up, Mom!” He raises his voice at you, and immediately, Toji is on him quicker than you could respond.
“What did you just say to your mother, brat?” Toji grits as he stares down at his teenage son. Megumi looked back up at him mortified. “I brought you in this world, and I will take your ass out of it if I hear you speak to your mom like that again.”
“Baby, baby, baby, it’s a prank!” You say as you rush over to Toji. Megumi cracks a nervous smile, and you gently nudge Toji back.
“It’s a prank!” Megumi shouts as he leans back away from Toji slightly.
Your husband lets out an annoyed grunt. “You two play too much. Gonna make me kill my own son.” He says as he releases Megumi’s shoulder. He walks back over to his seat at the dining table and smacks your ass on the way back.
SUKUNA
“Ryu, come take out the trash!” You yell to your son. He recently brought up the idea of pranking Sukuna by yelling at you to shut up in front of him. You had urged your son that this was a bad idea, but he was persistent.
Sukuna was sat at the dining table, eating whatever Uraume had prepared for him. Usually, Uraume handled the trash as well, but you distinctly told them to leave it.
There’s no response.
“Ryu! Trash now!” You call out again in a more frustrated tone.
Sukuna is biting his tongue at this point. There is nothing that he hates more than insolence, especially towards you. You’re his queen, and he demands for all to respect you, including his son.
No response.
“Ryu!”
“Okay mom! Shut the fuck up!”
All four of Sukuna’s eyes widened, and he put down his fork. “Domain expansion. Malevolent-“
“It’s a prank!” You shout as you spin to look at Sukuna quickly. Your son is standing behind you, quite literally trembling in fear.
“Yeah- it’s a p-prank, dad.” Ryu stutters out.
Sukuna narrows his gaze, and he looks between the two of you. “Foolish.” He grunts. “Boy, come have a seat.” He commands, and your son reluctantly complies.
“If you ever pull some shit like that seriously, I’m not afraid to start over and make a new kid. I got nothing but time on my hands.” Your husband says while eyeing your son.
“Ryu’s a good kid, Kuna.” You assure him as you walk over to your husband and rub on his shoulders a bit.
“Mmm, for now.” He mumbles, and he nods his head to the trashcan. “Take the trash out.”
NANAMI
Your husband was sitting in the living room, enjoying his “lazy Sunday” as he called it. He had a cup of coffee in one hand and a book in the other. He couldn’t help but feel incredibly grateful for the life he was living right now.
He had everything he ever dreamed of: a stable job, an amazing wife, a small family in a loving home.
You were sitting next to him, casually rubbing on his thigh through his pajama pants. You and your daughter had been texting about playing a prank on your dear husband, and it was finally going to happen.
“Hana, did you fold the clothes like I told you to?” You call out to your daughter as she’s in her bedroom. Nanami turns a page in his book, still not paying too much attention.
“Mom, I’m doing something!” Your daughter yells back.
“Hana, get in here and fold those clothes!” You shout back, getting a bit more serious. Nanami lets out a small sigh as he places his mug on the coffee table. He’s normally quick to nip Hana’s attitude in the bud.
“I’m busy!”
“Hana!”
“Okay mom! Just shut up already!” She finally yells as she storms into the living room. Nanami shuts his book and immediately stares down your daughter.
“What did you just say?” He asks as he sits up from his cozy position. His jaw tightens a bit as he glares at Hana.
“I just told her to shut up. She’s being overdramatic.” Your daughter continues, playing her part perfectly.
“Who’s her? Your mother? You’re telling my wife to shut up?” Nanami says as he starts to stand up.
“It’s just a prank, Ken!”
“Dad, it’s a prank-!”
You and your daughter both shout nervously, and Nanami looks at both of you confused for a moment. It then clicks in his head. “God, don’t stress me out like that.” He chides as he relaxes back on the couch. He wraps his arm back around you and picks up his book again.
#jjk#jjk fanfic#fanfic#jujutsu kaisen#drabble#jjk suggestive#gojo satoru#jjk gojo#satoru x reader#gojo x reader#jjk suguru#getou suguru x reader#geto suguru#jjk sukuna#sukuna x reader#jjk toji#toji x reader#jjk nanami#nanami kento#nanami x reader#jjk drabbles#jjk oneshot#jjk fluff#fluff#crack
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Anon here requesting a part 2 to the recent Telemachus fic. Please 🙏
(Btw- I adore your writing style! Gonna binge your fics later ^^)
Aw, tysm! A lot of yall really want a part 2 so here you go, my loves.
A Lovely Exchange P 2
P1 here
Telemachus x Reader

Synopsis: Telemachus already fights off his mother’s suitors, but what if he manages to become one? To… one of the palace’s servants?
A/N: Ya'll are hilarious in the comments of part 1, dw I hear ya'll I hear y'all loud and clear. Also, don't be shy to send me asks and even suggestions, I don't mind^^

“You like her, don’t you, son?”
Wait… WHAT??
HOW DID SHE KNOW?
Was it that obvious?
WAIT! I DIDN’T KNOW!—
Telemachus was breaking in a cold sweat, his fists shaking as he maintained his eye contact with the ground, not wanting to face his mother.
“I-I…”
‘This is fine, this is fine! Everything will be fine. Just—just lie, right? That seems easy enough…’
He takes a deep breath.
“I… do…”
Athena he has said this once and he shall say it again, please come to his aid.
Penelope’s eyes light up upon hearing that.
Telemachus was holding his breath so much you’d think he was about to pass out. Thankfully, his mother spoke before he turned blue.
“Good, I always knew you had the eyes for her. Honestly, son, I was just waiting for you to tell me! I always wondered why you’d often avoid Y/n, she is always so sweet and kind—mostly the reason why I favour her so much. Then I realised that's why you were avoiding her. You liked her! How adorable.”
Telemachus took a few good seconds (or more) to process his mother’s words.
Seriously? She KNEW?
And she didn’t SAY ANYTHING?
Well shit, he didn’t know he was that obvious. She could’ve spared him the embarrassment on that one but alright.
“Mom, you knew? This entire time? You KNEW?”
Telemachus asked, standing up and going through a crisis right in front of his mother. Penelope nodded with a sweet smile on her blissful face.
“Why did you not say anything?”
“I wanted to see for myself of course. And the way you spoke to Y/n earlier just proved it.”
Fuuuck he was so AWKWARD WHEN HE SPOKE TO Y/N.
Athena can turn back time, right? She's a goddess so she’s definitely capable of that right? Or maybe he can make a deal with another god just so that Y/n can forget that Telemachus ever existed.
God, he wanted to pass out so badly!!
“It’s alright son, Y/n is more than suitable to be your partner! Speaking of which, look at how beautiful the roses have blossomed this day. You sure chose a lovely girl to court, do you think this is her favourite flower? Or Is it daisies? ”
Penelope sounded so blissfully unaware as she put her hands together, excited with the idea of Telemachus and Y/n together.
“Mom! Please! I’m not even able to speak to her in complete sentences yet! Let alone be her partner right now! Y/n is…”
“Yes, my prince?”
A serene voice called out.
Telemachus froze like ice.
His mother on the other hand immediately got up on her feet as she approached the voice.
“Y/n! Just in time, my dear. We were just talking about you.”
…Shit.
Having heard your name be called out from a distance, you decided to see where all the commotion was coming from. Soon enough, you found yourself being approached by the Queen and a very… conflicted looking Telemachus.
Did he tell his mother about what happened earlier? Is he still nervous? Why did he look so… red?
Your thoughts were put on hold as you saw Queen Penelope in front of you.
“Did you need anything, my Queen?”
You asked her, her gaze mischievously shifting from you to Telemachus for a split second.
“My son and I were just speaking of your beautiful work in the garden, my dear. You’ve outdone yourself Y/n.”
Telemachus nodded in agreement, an offputting smile on his lips and a pink hue returning to his cheeks and migrating into his ears, which he tried to hide under his hair.
It was no surprise the flowers you grew were quite a wonderful bunch. Your father used to be the palace gardener and in his spare time, he’d teach you all of his tricks on how to take care of flowers of all kinds. And since his retirement, you unsurprisingly took over.
Hearing the Queen’s praise warmed your heart.
“In fact, you have done so well that Telemachus would love to thank you with a quaint little dinner with him! A lovely exchange isn’t it?”
A dinner? With the prince? How sweet of him, perhaps he does like you a little bit. It doesn’t explain why he’s looking at Queen Penelope in disbelief like she just betrayed him.
Because she did.
He just said that he still couldn’t talk to her in coherent sentences.
And she sets him up with her, on a date, alone, just the two of them.
This is it, he couldn’t believe it.
His mother, his own mother, wants to kill him.
There was no other explanation as to why she would EVER suggest this.
Except if she wanted to actually kill him.
“Telemachus!”
Penelope called out to him, snapping him out of his daze. He fixes from looking at her back to you, with a genuine little smile at him.
“It’s settled then, yes? You will mar—I mean, dine with Y/n tonight correct?”
The boy managed to let out an awkward and voice-cracked “Yes’.
Penelope couldn’t hide her smile at the two as she put her hands on your shoulders.
“Wonderful, You’d be a delightful daughter-in-law!”
You quickly turn your head towards her, daughter-in-law. Is she ensuing…
Meanwhile, Telemachus was for sure about to give in on his own knees.
“I mean—oh well, we shall prepare for your upcoming date now. Come along Telemachus! We have much to discuss! As for you, Y/n, I shall have a tailor for your clothes shortly. We have a special dinner to prepare!”
Penelope moves with a quick pace, dragging Telemachus by his arm which was soon to break from her force.
“AH! Mom! I almost tripped!”
“One must endure slight pain when they are in love, my son.”
“I could’ve gone limp!”
“Same thing, Telemachus. Come along now! We have much to discuss.”
It was a bit confusing, but nonetheless, the exchange brought a sweet smile to your face.
Perhaps Telemachus is a sweetheart.

Sorry if it was a bit rushed, I wanted to work on other one-shots for a bit.
(Aka I'm writing a dark romance Antinous x Reader one-shot since that man has been in my head for so long now and I need to feed my delusions)
Don't expect a part 3 to this btw, I have other fics to write.
(Like the Antinous one, I swear please just let me get this one-shot out PLEASE)
Anyway, hope you liked this one.
-Fatal-thoughts
#epic the musical#epic the musical x reader#epic the wisdom saga#epic telemachus#epic penelope#epic x reader#epic wisdom saga#telemachus#fatal-thoughts#fatal-thoughts ask#telemachus x reader
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AU where none of the JL know about the batkids for a while. But they recently have found out that Bruce Wayne is the batman. So honestly... none of them are that surpised when they realise just how many batkids there are because ... Bruce Wayne gets around yk? Might have been cruel of him to force all his kids to be vigilantes with him but it's the Batman what are u going to do?
The batkids realise that the JL thinks they are all Bruce Wayne's bastard (/polite) children. And all of them (except Damien) are so happy to play along with it
Dick: *casually walking into a JL meeting with a sword impaled into him* Bruce, Damien is trying to kill me for the inheritance!
Bruce: ... medbay. Now.
Jason answering some of the question the JL had about them: yeah so he just hides us until he gets annoyed enough with the current Robin. Then he kicks them out and starts over with the younger sibling. *everyone turns to look at Batman in horror*
Bruce: That's not -
Jason: and he only acknowledges you as his child again after you do something impressive enough. ... it took me becoming a crime lord for him to un-disinherit me.. :(
Bruce: No-
Jason: Why else do u think i have a grave at Wayne Manor? He said I was dead to him until I buck up.. :'(
Bruce: *walking away. Cannot handle this.*
Steph: Oh why do we all look so different? Did you really think Brucie would limit himself to a single type??
JL: ... checks out. Yeah
JL: *getting very concerned now* Hey kid, so.. Where's ur mom *surely she will be the safer choice*
Tim: Dead. *walks away no explanation*
JL: *are all their mothers? Does Batman? ... are we ok with teaming up with a mom murderer just because he's Batman?*
JL: *still not fully convinced. walking up to Oracle doing cool Oracle tingz (also slightly illegal tingz, so she's slightly worried they're here to tell her to stop)* ... so Batman's not ur dad right?
Barbara: *fully aware of where this is going and finds it hilarious so just for the jokes says:* yes he is.
JL: but we thought-
Barbara: *who was the one to teach Dick to be the absolute Drama Queen he is, has tears welling up in her eyes at will, sniffling* why would you say he isn't? You think just because I was never a Robin he doesn't want me as much-
JL: No no *oh god they made Batman's kid cry* But ur last name is Gordon?! As in Commissioner Gordon??
Barbara: .. yeah? He's also my dad? You got a problem with that? ... I'm gonna tell Bruce. Rainbow Batman is gonna kick ur ass. *switches on comms with Batman who is fighting an alien rn* Bruce, you've got to hear what ur friends are saying
Cass: ... *wants to be a part of the joke but the JL is still too afraid of her to approach her*
JL: ...
Cass: *walks up to them* Batman is not dad.
JL: oh?
Cass: He's mom. *walks away. High fives Tim*
JL: *Trying their luck again because one of these kids has to have a mom right?* Hey kid, so is ur mom still u know..
Duke:...
JL: is she still alive?
Duke: yeah of course she's alive
JL: *collective sigh of relief* oh so where is she?
Duke: in a mental asylum. *walks away*
...
Finally, they have to come clean when someone in the JL sees DickxBabs or StephxCass PDA (well it probably wasn't meant to be public) and freaks out because that's your half-sibling!?!
...
JL: So Robin, what happened to ur parents to make Bruce adopt u?Damien: he didn't have to. *kind of smug* I am his blood son
JL: oh cmon kid, they already told us about the joke ok? U don't have keep it up
Damien: Wha- No, I'm not lying!! They were but I'm not! I am a Wayne!JL: .. sure kid sure..
Also yes in this hc it's all of the JL just going as group from one kid to the next trying to figure this shit out
#batman#bruce wayne#batfam#dc comics#jason todd#red hood#batdad#nightwing#dick grayson#tim drake#red robin#stephanie brown#spoiler dc#oracle dc#barbara gordon#cassandra cain#orphan dc#damien wayne#dc robin#messing with the justice league is a batfamily hobby#getting to mess with the justice league and annoy bruce at the same time is a dream come true
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Hi luv!
I am new to Simon Riley but I am DOWN BAD lmao
Could u please write something about mommy reade being insecure and struggling with like body image after pregnancy and during post-partum. Like being a REAL MAN he is, he just adores his mama and loves how her body changed and created their baby.
U can totally change it however u like, i am bad at explaining 😭😭
I absolutely loved ur last dad!Simon imagine, I could never 😭
Keep it up 🫶🏻🫶🏻
dad!simon riley x mom!reader
blurb: dad!simon soothes your insecurities about your postpartum body. cw&tws: body image/weight, suggestive right at the end // wc: 1279
a/n: aw hii you’re so kind, thank you! & don’t worry you explained it perfectly and i am so in love with this idea so here it is, thank you for your kind words btw 🥹🫶🏼 i want to bring attention to anyone reading who needs to hear it, that no matter your weight or how your body looks: you’re enough. your looks are not “hideous” or anything else along those lines just because society tells you otherwise. in no way do i have the intention of promoting body negativity/shaming. every body is a body worthy of love and respect as long as you treat others the same. please take care of yourselves & love yourselves as much as possible 🤍.
With the spare time you have now as your baby is asleep in her nursery, you take off your tank top, now clad in only a nursing bra and your underwear.
You step in front of the mirror. You thought your heart sunk enough when you saw the number on the scale, but you were wrong. You run your hands along your stomach. The skin is still saggy from the pregnancy and birth, and the stretch marks from your pregnancy that were once faint now boldly start at your hips and vine their way to your belly button. At this point, you let the tears fall. You want the body you had before pregnancy. You want the body where you could see where your waist ended and your hips started. You want the body where your breasts don't have stretch marks. You want the number you had on the scale from before. You don’t even recognize yourself.
You think: How did I let myself go this much?
You break down on the wooden floor of the bedroom, the hot tears falling on the cold floor.
“Sweetheart?” His voice calls out to you.
You forgot he was home too.
You look up through your tears, a blurry image but enough to know it's your husband at the doorway of your shared bedroom. Simon doesn’t hesitate to walk over and sit down with you on the floor, placing his hands on your cheeks and rubbing your tears off with his thumbs. “Baby.”
Your eyes shut, letting more tears fall at the pressure. You can’t look at him. You can’t be with him. Your body isn’t enough. Enough for you. Enough for him. “Baby, look at me.” His voice tightens along with his hands on your face.
You whimper in pain, “No.”
His hands move from your cheeks to your elbows, lifting you up gently. “Here, let’s get you up on the bed.” You have been recently so happy with the arrival of your baby, Simon too. It pains him to see you like this. “What’s wrong? Talk to me.” He pleads gently until you finally open your eyes.
As soon as you sit on the bed and your bloodshot eyes weakly gaze at him, his chest tightens. Your breathing is labored yet you manage to get out a few words, “My body, Simon.” You wrap your stomach around your arms, clutching at the body that’s giving you trouble. “It’s so ugly. I’m sorry.” You hiccup, the crying making it harder to breathe. “My stretch marks, my belly, my swollen legs and feet. Everything. I’m sorry I’m not as pretty as before.”
“You don’t think you’re pretty?”
“I’m hideous, Si.”
Simon’s ears rang when you called yourself that word: Hideous. His gorgeous, dedicated, sweet wife. The mother to their baby, the love and light of his life, and here she is talking about herself like this.
“Stand up for me, sweetheart.” Simon grabs your hands and you reluctantly do as he says. He tugs at your bra, “Can I take this off?”
“But the doctor said no sex for six wee—“
“I know, baby. Don’t worry. Not planning on that right now. You need to heal." Your nod of permission makes him unclasp your bra. He cups your cheek and places a kiss on your forehead before guiding you by the shoulders to the mirror. Here you are, again, facing the woman you can’t stand.
Simon stands behind you, his chin resting on your shoulder and his hands on your arms. “You’re so beautiful.” He kisses your neck, the touch of affection featherlight but heavy with love.
Simon’s hands move down to your breasts, cupping one in each hand. His hands are big enough to let his thumbs trace over the stretch marks on them. “These stretch marks are normal and perfect. Your body grew selflessly for our girl and this shows it.” His eyes gaze into yours through the mirror. “I don’t think your stretch marks are hideous. I think they’re a physical sign of your strength.” His hands give your breasts a final rub, then move on to rub the stretch marks across your hips and stomach. You turn your head to the side, disgusted at looking at yourself for any longer.
Your husband clicks his tongue. “Look, baby. Please. Right there in the mirror. Look for me.” Simon glides his hands along your stomach. He squeezes gently, enough to feel the softness without hurting you. You turn your head back to face the mirror, and Simon gives you a warm smile through the mirror. You look at your body, analyzing every inch. The stretch marks you once saw as something that should be disgusted over, you now see them as a physical witness to your pregnancy. You start to think they're not so bad.
His hands circled all around your stomach. “And your belly you said? Here is where you carried our baby. You let her grow here. Your stomach is not hideous. It changed beautifully. It’s softer than before and I love it. I love feeling it. I love looking at it.” He keeps reassuring you in your ear and you can't help but to shiver. You always loved Simon's voice, but the combination of it and his honest reassurances does something else to you.
You slowly start to feel better, but your doubts still rise about how Simon feels. “But I don’t feel pretty enough for you. I’ve changed so much after this pregnancy.”
“You are always pretty enough for me. You are always beautiful. You’re perfect, mama. Your body changed because you got pregnant and that’s normal. I’m not disgusted. If anything I am in awe of you and your body’s ability.”
Simon walks around to stand in front of you now, making you look up at him by lifting your chin up with his finger. His head lowers to kiss your forehead, his lips kissing their way down to your cheek, and lastly to your neck. “Believe me when I say your body has changed in the best way possible, my love. Every inch. Every stretch mark and curve. It’s all beauty to me. You are beauty to me. Love yourself, please.”
Your eyes tear up. Not because you hate your body anymore, but now realizing just how much you should love it and how much the man you love loves it. "I love you," you whisper. Both of you look into each other's eyes, none of you denying the amount of love in each pair.
"I love you too, mama." Simon brings you into an embrace, wrapping his forearms around your upper back. His face finds the crook of your neck, his lips grazing your most sensitive spot as he speaks. "My beautiful woman. Just a few more weeks and I'll prove it to you just how beautiful you are." He softly kisses your neck, thinking about how fortunate he is to have a woman who loves him like you do.
You giggle and cross your arms playfully, “How so?” You know exactly what he means, but it wouldn't hurt to hear it out loud.
Simon chuckles before moving his head away from your neck to look down at your face. He admires every slope. He loves the way your eyelashes compliment your eyes, the way your lip color is the perfect shade to kiss, and your cheeks soft enough to hold in his hands. He does the latter, his words laced with suppressed desire as he whispers, “The same way I got you knocked up.”
You think: How did I get so lucky?
(brb gonna go cry UGH i need a man to praise me like he's doing RIGHT NOW.)
~ yours truly, rani ♥︎
#simon ghost riley#simon ghost x reader#cod x reader#ghost cod#simon riley x reader#simon riley x you#ghost simon riley#simon ghost x you#simon riley#simon riley cod#dad!simon riley#dadsimonriley#dad simon riley#simon ghost riley x reader
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someone to be thankful for
DBF! Joel Miller x Female Reader



summary: It’s Thanksgiving—when dinner with your nightmare of a family goes south, you find comfort in the person you least expect it from: your father’s best friend, Joel Miller.
warnings/tags: 18+ only, MINORS DNI. (AU, NO OUTBREAK) non canon, DBF! Joel, AGE GAP (reader is in her 20’s, i do not specify her age, but she’s a recent college grad so do with that what you will, not everyone graduates at the same specific age ya know? Joel is in his mid-ish 50’s). Reader’s a teacher, she is visiting her suburban childhood home from a big city. Reader’s parents are religious and practice traditional-ish gender norms (i.e father is head of the household kinda thing) reader’s family celebrates Thanksgiving (sorry) several mentions of food and alcohol, reader’s parents suck, she has two brothers who come with names, a lot of her relatives come with names, watch out for Aunt Ines she’s a bitch. (TW) body/weight shaming (twice) PLEASE BE MINDFUL if this could be triggering. mentions of and implications of childhood abuse (not graphic) reader’s dad gets in her face, implied infidelity (reader’s dad), implied toxic marriage (reader’s parents). soft, caring, protective Joel. Joel’s recently divorced, mention of Sarah, mentions of the ex-wife. SMUT. oral sex (female receiving) p in v sex, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it) reader states she’s on baby blockers (birth control), creampie, DADDY KINK (bc reader clearly has a few daddy issues), LOTS of pet names (darlin’, baby, pretty girl, sweetheart, honey), size kink (ish?), cockwarming. think i got it all?
PLEASE HEED THE WARNINGS. if this isn’t your thing, that is fine but just keep on scrolling.
MOODBOARD FOR AESTHETIC PURPOSES ONLY, READER HAS NO PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION.
word count: 11.5k
a/n: yeah…idk. this was very delayed because it turned into a whole thing. if anyone actually reads all 11k of this, i will bake you muffins.
You take a deep breath and look in the mirror.
Skirt pressed, not a wrinkle in sight.
Hair brushed, not a single strand out of place.
Makeup done, not a blemish to be seen.
And somehow, someone will still find something.
Something to point out.
Something to comment on.
Something to criticize.
If not your appearance, it’ll be something else.
Because someone always had something to say.
“Should you be eating all of that?”
“Another year gone and still no boyfriend?”
“Don’t you want to get married?”
“When I was in my twenties, I had two children.”
Boundaries didn’t exist on Thanksgiving.
Actually, for your family, boundaries didn’t exist at all—somehow, they are still scratching their heads and wondering why you’d decided to up and leave the minute your high school principal handed over that diploma, your ticket to freedom.
“Sweetie!” Your mother’s shrill voice calls from the kitchen downstairs. “I need a hand! Our guests are going to start arriving soon and there is still plenty left for us to do before they get here!”
You groan outwardly.
There’s still plenty left to do?
How’s that even fucking possible?
You’ve been cooking and baking since sunrise.
“Don’t you think it’s too early?” you’d grumbled at five o’ clock in the morning when your mother had pulled you out of bed, declaring it was time for the big dinner preparations to begin—even though it’d be several hours before your family came over and gathered around the table to break bread. She had pulled the turkey out of the freezer a few days ago, a massive, thirty-pound whole bird that looked big enough to feed a small village. In addition, she had picked up a ham and a brisket. “Mom, why’s there so much food?” Rubbing the sleep from your eyes with the sleeve of your robe, you’d started making your way over to the Nespresso only to realize that the coffee machine was hidden behind paper bags full of groceries. “Are we cooking for all of Texas or something?”
“Very funny,” she had glared at you. “Of course we aren’t.” She started unwrapping the turkey. “We’re simply making sure we have enough food and that we have different options for everyone to enjoy, so knock it off with the wisecracks and get to peeling those carrots for me for the stuffing. There is not a single minute to waste today, you hear me, missy? We’re hosting a dozen people, so everything must be absolutely perfect. I won’t accept anything less than perfection today, do you understand me?”
Thirteen hours later, she’s still driving you insane.
You’re only home visiting until the end of the week and then it’s back to the Midwest. You can survive her for three more days, right?
You hear her calling your name and exhale a small, frustrated sigh. “I’m coming, mom!” you call back. It’s difficult to mask the annoyance in your tone of voice, but somehow you manage it. “One minute!”
Smoothing down your pleated plaid skirt, you take one last look in the mirror to make sure everything is in order—there is a loose thread on the sleeve of your brown, knitted sweater and you carefully snip it off with a pair of scissors before sliding your feet into the comfiest pair of ankle boots you’d packed and head downstairs, nose leading the way as you follow the warm, delicious scent of the made from scratch biscuits and rolls baking in the oven.
You find your mother standing at the center island counter garnishing a charcuterie board with sweet gherkins and sprigs of fresh herbs. She’s donning a festive apron embroidered with fall leaves over her designer dress, and her hair’s still up in rollers. “Finally, there you are,” she huffs out loudly the second she hears you walk into the kitchen. Down the hallway, your father and two younger brothers are shouting at some football game on the flat screen television in the living room—men don’t lift a single finger on this day, at least not in this household. “I need you to start setting the table for me. I have place cards in that bag over there. Make sure your dad’s at the head of the table. Oh and don’t forget to bring out the children’s table for all your little cousins—” She glances up, letting out a small gasp when she sees you. “What in the world are you wearing?”
Frowning, you look down at yourself. “Clothes?”
Her ruby red lips purse together in a tight thin line.
“Honey, that skirt is too short. It’s inappropriate.”
You resist the urge to roll your eyes at her. “It’s like an inch above the knee, how is that inappropriate? It’s not like it’s a miniskirt, mom.” As she eyes your skirt with disapproval, you decide you’re not in the mood to argue and say, “Okay, fine. I’ll go upstairs and change into something else then—”
“No, no, forget it,” she shakes her head. “We don’t have the time for that.” Your mother whirls around, picking up the bag of place holders—she’d special ordered little turkeys carved out of wood. She also takes a marker and a notepad, shoving everything into your hands. “Here. I wrote down all the names of everyone who’s coming for dinner. The children get place holders too but make sure the little ones are sitting beside someone older to help them. Oh! Did I already mention putting your dad at the head of the—”
Tuning her out, your eyes scan down the guest list and if there’s one thing to be thankful for today it’s the fact that your mother’s given you the power to seat everybody wherever you want. Halfway down the list, you see the names of several relatives that you don’t want anywhere near you at the table. An Aunt Miriam who smells like the inside of a casino; a cousin Jennifer who refuses to acknowledge her forty-eight month old is actually four years old; an uncle Richard who always has one too many beers and winds up spewing antigovernment conspiracy theories, ranting until he’s passed out somewhere, such as on the floor of the guest bathroom.
You get to the bottom of the list and can’t help but raise an eyebrow in surprise. “Joel Miller?”
She nods, returning to her board.
“You remember Mr. Miller, don’t you, sweetie? He and your father went to college together—he’s one of his oldest and dearest friends. Don’t tell me you forgot about him? You’ve met him plenty of ti—”
“Yeah, I remember who Joel is, mom,” you mutter, cutting her off. “Didn’t he and the family move out to Arizona like, four years ago? To Phoenix, right?” You’d been away for college then. Taking a second glance at the list, you notice she had forgotten the names of Joel’s wife and daughter. Surely, it’d just been a mistake on her part, though. “I had no idea they were in town visiting. Dad didn’t mention it to me at all.”
“They’re not.” She lowers her voice, as if someone else is standing in the room listening. “Joel moved back to Austin, he’s been back for a few days now. He and Connie, they um—” Pausing for a moment, she reaches up and clasps the cross hanging from her neck before whispering, “They got divorced.”
Taken aback, your mouth parts slightly. “What?”
“I know. Joel and Connie were the last people that I ever thought would get divorced. Such a shame,” your mother remarks, shaking her head. “I ran into Mrs. Adler at the super market and she was telling me all about it. Thinks they could have saved their marriage if only those two—”
“Would get right with Jesus,” you finish, biting the tiny smirk tugging at the corners of your lips. “She says that about everything, mom.”
“Well, she isn’t wrong! The sacrament of marriage is a lifelong bond that shouldn’t be broken. It’s not right.” Dropping her hand away from her necklace, she crosses her arms over chest. “Anyway, Connie stayed in Phoenix. Sarah’s spending Thanksgiving with her. Your father didn’t want Joel spending the holiday alone and invited him over for dinner. That means I need you to be on your very best behavior tonight. I don’t want you embarrassing your father in front of his closest friend. Is that understood?”
You can’t help but scoff a little. “I’m not a child.”
She narrows her eyes at you and scoffs right back, planting her hands on her hips.
“No, you’re a smart aleck. Need I remind you what happened last Thanksgiving with Aunt Ines?”
Of course she didn’t have to remind you about last year’s fiasco with her insufferable bitch of a sister.
“That’s an awfully big piece of pumpkin pie,” she’d remarked loudly, eliciting snickers from everybody sitting at the table. “Don’t forget, dear—a moment on the lips, forever on the hips. And you have quite a few forevers on your hips already, darling.”
You had smiled sweetly at her, your fingers itching to fling your mother’s fine china at her. “I wouldn’t really worry about my pie, Aunt Ines,” you had said as soon as you realized that nobody, not even your parents, would be coming to your defense. “Much less when your husband’s stepping out and eating someone else’s pie when he’s away on all those so called business trips. Worry about that instead.”
That comment hadn’t gone over all too well. Three months later, Aunt Ines and Uncle Louis started to see a marriage counselor. Whoops.
“Well?”
“She deserved that,” you say, shrugging lightly.
“She’s family.”
“She’s a jerk.”
“You crossed a line.”
“She crossed it first.”
Before your mother can respond, the sound of the doorbell ringing echoes throughout the house.
“Jesus, we don’t have time for this!” Your mother’s eyes widen when she tries running a hand through her hair and realizes she still has her rollers in. “Oh no, people are arriving and I’m still not ready!” She makes a beeline for the hallway. “Get the door and greet our guests, I’ll be down in five minutes!”
She disappears upstairs into her bedroom and you hear the doorbell ring again. Your father shouts for someone to go answer it, someone other than him or your brothers because it is the end of the fourth quarter and they just can’t possibly miss that.
You make your way through the foyer and open up the front door expecting it to be one of your family members, but it’s not.
Your throat instantly goes dry at the sight of him.
He’s broader than you remeber, so much broader.
The fabric of his sage green dress shirt is nice and snug on his frame—stretched taut over the planes of his chest and his wide shoulders. He’s holding a box of store bought something or other but you’re much too preoccupied with the way the sleeves of his shirt are hugging his biceps to notice what it is although you assume it’s some kind of dessert. He looks far more delicious than whatever sweet treat could be in that white box he’s got in his hands.
After a minute, you realize you’ve been gawking at him and the heat rushes to your cheeks. “Hello Mr. Miller,” you greet him politely. “It’s very nice to see you again. Please, come on in.”
He smiles, his brown eyes warm and sweet behind his square, black-rimmed glasses. “You remember me,” he states and the syrupy richness of his voice sends a pleasant tingle up your spine. Stepping off to the side, you allow him inside—as he steps past you over the threshold, the tantalizing scent of his cologne almost brings you to your knees. Notes of a citrus accord like tart grapefruit, fresh bergamot mixed with the woodiness of vetiver and musk; it’s intoxicating, something you could easily get drunk off of if you’re not careful. “I’m surprised. S’been a real long time since you last saw me.”
“It hasn’t been all that long,” you reply, closing the door behind you. You speak to him in the steadiest voice you can muster, with nonchalance—as if you aren’t one missed heartbeat away from feeling like a silly little schoolgirl with her first crush. “Has it?”
He thinks about it. “‘Bout four and a half years.”
“That’s really not that long.”
“S’not,” Joel admits with a chuckle. “But with how much I’ve aged in that short amount of time, I just wasn’t sure if you’d recognize me, y’know? I look a lot different than I used to.” He pauses and laughs, shaking his head. “I must look like an old geezer to you now, don’t I?”
Grays lightly pepper his thick dark brown curls, his beard and his mustache. He’s got crows feet when he smiles, he has worry lines and creases between his eyebrows—he does look a lot older, but he’s so goddamn handsome, wrinkles, fine lines, and all.
You toss him a playful eye roll, prompting a grin. “I don’t think you look like an old geezer, Mr. Miller.”
“Well, you’re sure as hell makin’ me feel like an old geezer by callin’ me that, darlin’ girl.” He gives you a little wink and you’re not quite sure if it’s that, or if it was the way he’d used a pet name that knocks all the wind out of your lungs. “Please, just call me Joel.”
You nod and shyly agree to it. “Okay, then. Joel.”
“S’much better.” His grin widens and a prominent, deep dimple appears on the left side of his cheek.
There’s a silence that follows, but it’s not awkward or weird. It’s comfortable—being in his presence is comfortable. His sweet disposition makes you feel so calm, so at ease.
Joel’s always been a nice man of course, although your interactions with him had been limited—kind, quick hello’s in passing on Sundays whenever he’d come over to watch football with your dad, maybe a polite how are you here and there if you bumped into him at gatherings like a backyard barbecue or birthday party. But you’re older now, no longer the child who greeted her father’s best friend because it was bad manners if she didn’t. You don’t want to throw him that kind, quick hello or that polite how are you and then scurry off the way you used to as a little kid. You actually want to talk to Joel Miller.
But you suddenly remember he’s not here for you.
He’s here for your father.
Joel!” Your mother screeches, five-inch high heels clacking loudly as she descends the staircase. She had ditched the apron and hair rollers—and put on one too many layers of her heaviest perfume. With a delighted squeal, she rushes up to Joel and pulls him into a bone crushing hug, almost causing him to drop the box he’s still holding. “Oh, it is so good to see you! It’s been far too long!”
You force back a small, amused snort.
As if she hadn’t been judging the man for a failed marriage just minutes ago in the kitchen.
It’s performative, too over the top to be sincere.
“S’good to see you too.” He steps back and laughs as he adjusts his glasses with one of his hands. He holds out the box to her with the other. “Picked up a pecan pie on the way over here. I would’a tried to make it myself, but the kitchen’s still all packed up in boxes.” He pauses, laughing again. “Then again, I ain’t really much of a baker. Store bought was for the best I reckon,” he admits, sheepishly. When he shrugs his shoulders, his shirt strains a bit over his frame and even your mother can’t help but stare a little.
Lightly clearing her throat, she takes the box from him and reminds him, “Didn’t I tell you that all you had to bring tonight was a nice, healthy appetite?”
Joel lightly pats his stomach. “Brought that too. In fact, I didn’t eat a thing all day long. I’m absolutely starvin’ right now. Could eat a whole horse.”
“Good! Dinner’s going to be served soon. William’s in the living room with the boys, watching football game after football game. Come with me, I’m sure you’re eager to see him.” Your mother spins on her heel and hands you the dessert. “Sweetie, will you be a gem and go put this in the kitchen for me?” It isn’t a request, it’s an order masked as a request—it’s the kindest she’s been to you all day. She takes Joel’s arm and leads him down the hallway, calling out over her shoulder, “And please set the table!”
You do set the table, and when you do, you decide to sit yourself right next to Joel Miller.
Your mother lightly clinks her knife against the rim of her wine glass and clears her throat. “Everyone! It’s time to join hands and say grace before we dig into our meal,” she announces, her voice breaking through the loud, buzzing chatter at the table. She waits until there’s complete silence and then takes her seat, the chair adjacent to your father’s. You’re on his opposite side and Joel’s right beside you. “I think you should do the honor, William. You are the man of the house, after all.”
Nodding, your father begins the prayer.
“Heavenly Father, bless this food we are about—”
You’re not listening. You’re distracted by the jolt of electricity that zips through your entire body when you put your hand in Joel’s. His hand dwarfs yours and it’s rough and calloused, but somehow it’s the most gentle, soothing touch. Heat prickles at your face and neck when you feel him sweep his thumb across the back of your hand—you open your eyes and glance over at him, wondering if that had just been an accident. You’re convinced it was, until he does it again, running his finger over each knuckle one at a time. Slowly, like he’s savoring the touch.
Biting your lip, you give his hand a gentle squeeze.
His head is bowed and his eyes are still closed, but a faint smile tugs lightly at the corner of his mouth and he firmly squeezes your hand back. There’s an unmistakable desire that’s already burning deep in your lower belly, a flame you can’t extinguish even when the angel on your shoulder reminds you that not only is Joel Miller twice your fucking age, he is also your father’s best friend. His best friend.
“…through Christ our Lord. Amen.”
“Amen,” your relatives chime together in unison.
You force out the declaration. “Amen.”
“Amen,” Joel murmurs, opening his eyes. He turns to you and his gaze flits to your hand in his and for a moment, it almost seems like he doesn’t want to let it go. It feels like Joel doesn’t want to let it go—and he doesn’t. He doesn’t let it go until the sound of your father’s loud, booming voice announcing it is time for him to carve the bird startles the two of you apart. Clearing his throat lightly, Joel turns his attention forward and reaches for his cabernet. He gulps down half his glass in one easy swallow.
Dinner’s fairly uneventful.
You eat in complete silence, as does Joel.
Part of you wonders if it’s because you’re sitting in between him and your father, the only person that he’s most comfortable conversing with. Assuming this is the case, you’re just about to ask him if he’d like to trade places when he turns to you and says, “Your dad told me you went to school in Chicago.”
He’s just being friendly, you remind yourself when your heart starts to flutter wildly at the notion that he wants to talk to you. He’s friendly. That’s all. It doesn’t mean anything.
“Yeah. I did.” You pick up your glass of wine, taking a sip hoping it’ll ease the nerves. “I graduated over the summer and took a teaching job out there.”
“You became a teacher?”
“Yeah. I teach kindergarten.” You smile proudly.
“Can you believe that, Joel?” Your father lets out a scoff and shakes his head. “I spent thousands and thousands of dollars to send her to school. All that money and for what? For her to learn how to teach little ankle biters how to color inside the lines?” He rolls his eyes and gestures to your two brothers on the opposite side of the table. “Now my boys, they are smart. Chose good careers to pursue. Brandon starts applying to medical school in the spring. Oh and Matthew? He got early acceptance to Yale. He plans on studying law.” He shifts his attention over to you once more and shrugs. “Not too sure where I went wrong with this one.”
You stare at him in complete and utter disbelief.
“Dad.”
Chortling, he waves a dismissive hand. “Oh, come on, honey. I’m just kidding around. You know that I don’t mean it.” He then reaches out, pinching your cheek roughly. “Don’t be so sensitive,” he tells you before turning his attention back to his plate.
But he does mean it.
His comments hurt, and you hate that they hurt.
Joel nudges your arm with his. “Y’know somethin’, it takes someone real special to become a teacher, ‘specially to kids that age,” he states in a matter of fact tone. “Someone who’s real sweet and patient, someone real smart too. Someone just like you.”
Warmth radiates through your entire body. It’s not just his words, but it’s the sincerity behind them.
You shoot him a small, grateful smile.
The two of you wind up talking to one another.
Joel’s moving his contracting business, bringing it back to Austin from Phoenix to run it with Tommy, his younger brother who you vaguely remembered meeting a time or two in the past. He mentions his daughter here and there, but doesn’t bring Connie up once—perhaps it’s too painful for him? It’s hard to tell. He seems to be in good spirits and truth be told, it doesn’t appear he’s mourning his marriage; but it’s difficult to believe he’s not missing her, the woman he’d spent three decades of his life with. It shouldn’t even matter to you whether he’s missing his ex-wife or not, if there are residual feelings still lingering around. But it does matter and you don’t know why. Or maybe you do know why, but you’re too ashamed to admit it.
“Do you like Chicago?” Joel questions, curiously.
Shrugging, you respond, “Yeah. It’s a cool city.”
“You plan on stayin’ out there permanently?”
“I’m not too sure,” you admit. “It’s too expensive. I don’t want to live with a roommate forever. Unless teachers start getting paid more, I don’t think that I’ll ever be able to afford to live alone in Chicago.”
Joel seems hesitant about his next query. “Do you ever think ‘bout comin’ back to Austin at all?”
Suddenly, you’re not too sure about that either.
You’ve been itching to go back and get as far from Austin, Texas as possible, but now, it means being far from Joel Miller. There’s a deep, sinking feeling inside of your chest at the thought.
Realizing he’s still waiting for a response, you have no choice but to tell him the truth. “I don’t think I’ll ever come back here, to be honest. Not to stay.”
“Oh. I see.” He sounds disappointed. “Are you—do you plan on visitin’ home again for Christmas?”
“I do. I’ll be here for Christmas and New Year’s.”
He’s being friendly. He’s being friendly. He’s—
“It’d be real nice to see you again then.” Flushing a deep shade of red, subtle regret flashes across his features, as if he’d said it without thinking. Picking up his glass, he drains the rest of his wine and you can swear he’s nervous. About what he’d just said, and about whether or not your parents, who are in such close proximity, had overheard him. Because what business did he have in telling their daughter it would be nice to see her again?
They’re both much too preoccupied. Your father is attempting to be slick checking his text messages underneath the table and you can tell by the smirk on his face that it’s one of his secretaries. He’s got a penchant for perky blondes in tight pencil skirts. Your mother is well aware of this. She is also aware he’s on his phone, but she turns a blind eye just as she always does and distracts herself by being the perfect hostess.
Feeling foolishly courageous, you turn back to him and nod, heart pounding against your sternum. “It would. It’d be very nice, actually.”
Relieved, he nods and murmurs quietly, “We’ll talk ‘bout it later, then. That okay, darlin’?”
Not wanting to seem too eager, you nod again and turn away from him, teeth sinking into your lip in a futile attempt to hide the giddiness in your smile—but the soft chuckle Joel elicits under his breath is a clear indication that it’s useless.
He knows how he’s making you feel. He likes it.
Your mother returns from the kitchen carrying two baskets of fresh crescent rolls, one for each end of the table. She sets one of them down right in front of you and you reach out to take one when a voice, one that sounds as awful as nails scraping down a chalkboard, remarks loudly, “Should you be eating so much bread, dear?” Ines, who’s sitting a couple chairs down, next to your grandmother, looks over at you and raises an eyebrow. There’s a smug little smile on her face, almost as if she were daring you to run your mouth like you’d done last year.
For as much as it pains you, you make your choice and decide not to take the bait. You pull your hand out of the basket of rolls and pick up your glass of wine instead, chugging it down like it’s water.
Frowning, Joel picks up the basket and takes a roll that you assume is for himself, but it’s not. Putting it on your plate, he shoots her a frigid glare. “Don’t you listen to her.” He says it loud enough for her to hear him. “You just enjoy yourself, alright?”
Your aunt bats her eyes, innocently. “Well, I’m just saying. If my skirt was that tight on me, I would be thinking twice about what goes into my mouth.”
Hushed laughter sweeps across the entire table.
“Are you fucking kidding me right now?” You slam your empty glass down so hard onto the table that the entire dining room goes completely silent. The little ones at the children’s table stare with big and wide eyes, mouths full of food hung open because a grown up had just used a naughty word.
Your mother says your name warningly. “Don’t you start,” she hisses, shaking her head. “Be quiet.”
Angrily, you round on her. “Seriously? You’re going to let her say that to me? You don’t care that she’s making comments about my weight?” You almost laugh. Of course doesn’t care, she has never cared and she never will. “I’m your daughter! Would it kill you to defend me for once in your fucking life?”
“Shut your mouth!” Your father stands up, shoving a threatening finger into your face, so close the tip of it almost touches the tip of your nose. He hasn’t put his hands on you since you were nine, but he’s as drunk as he is angry, and you find yourself back in the shoes of the little girl who would curl up into a ball in the corner of her room as she begged and pleaded for him not to hurt her. “You hear me?”
Joel stands and walks around your chair. Placing a hand on your father’s chest, he mutters, “Hey now let’s take a step back from her, alright?” He guides him back down into his chair. “Ain’t gotta be in her face like that, Will.”
“I’m sick and tired of her ruining everything—can’t get through one dinner without her screwing it up! Always has to run that fucking mouth of hers! She still acts like a goddamn fucking child—”
You can’t bear to sit there and hear another insult.
Fighting back the hot tears that are threatening to spill over, you quickly stand up and rush out of the dining room. You make a beeline for the front door and step outside onto the porch. It’s about sixty or so degrees in Austin and the cold nips at your bare legs, but that’s the least of your worries. Without a place to go, you descend the porch steps and find yourself walking towards the swing that’s hanging from the old bur oak tree in the front yard. You had asked your father for a swing when you were three years old—it wasn’t until your brothers asked for a swing a couple years later that he’d hung one up.
You sit down, hands curling around the rope that’s so old and weathered it’s beginning to fray slightly but not so much so that you’re concerned about it snapping. You’re so busy trying to keep it together that you don’t notice the sound of crisp, autumnal leaves crunching under a pair of boots behind you. A hand gingerly touches your shoulder. You let out a startled gasp and glance over to see it’s Joel.
“Hey there, darlin’,” he says, gently.
You stare at him in surprise.
“What are you doing out here?”
“Needed to make sure you’re okay.”
“I’m fine,” you grit the lie through your teeth.
Joel’s expression softens. “You ain’t gotta pretend with me, sweetheart.”
His concern is genuine. It’s real.
You don’t quite know how to handle it. Accept it.
“It got real ugly in there, ‘specially with your dad.”
Tears prickle at your eyes all over again. “Fuck, I’m sorry, Joel. I’m so sorry.”
“Sorry?” Baffled, Joel walks around the swing and a minor labored grunt escapes him as he squats in front of you. “There’s a few people who need to be apologizin’ for what happened, but darlin’ you sure as fuckin’ hell ain’t one of them.”
It’s odd. Feels foreign, even.
You’re not used to someone being on your side—it prompts more tears to spring forward and despite your best efforts to fight them off, it’s useless. You manage to whisper his name. It’s a feeble warning, one that’s telling him to go back inside before he’s caught in the torrential downpour of emotions you are mere seconds away from unleashing on him.
But he doesn’t budge. He waits. Joel knows you’re about to break and he’s ready to catch the pieces.
Finally, a tear slips and rolls down your cheek, only to be followed by another and then another. You’re holding onto the swing for dear life now, emotions that you’ve been holding in for your whole life now coming to the surface. The rope digs painfully into the palms of your hands. He reaches out and curls his fingers lightly around your wrists.
“S’okay to let go,” Joel encourages you and you’re certain he’s not just referring to the swing. “Listen to me, darlin’ girl. I ain’t gonna let you fall, alright? I’m right here to catch you. You can let go. I’ve got you, okay?”
You allow Joel to take your hands off the rope and he guides them around his shoulders as you begin to crumble. Leaning forward slightly off the swing, you wrap you arms around him and bury your face into his neck. “Joel,” you choke out his name as he wraps his own arms around your waist, pulling you closer into him.
He feels like stability.
He feels like security.
He feels like safety.
Your entire body shudders as you cry, cry, cry.
“S’alright, sweet girl. I’ve got you. I’ve got you.”
He repeats his reassurance over and over again.
He wants you to believe it.
And you do believe it.
Joel’s as patient as can be. It’s growing colder and his knees are begging for a change of positon, but couldn’t care less about the discomfort. He rubs a soothing circle into your back and waits until there is nothing left except little hiccups and sniffles.
“Shit,” you mumble when you pull back and notice you’d left behind a wet spot on his shirt along with light traces of mascara. You wipe at your eyes with the sleeve of your sweater. “I ruined your shirt.”
“S’okay. Nothin’ the dry cleaners can’t take care of for me.” Joel chuckles and lets go of you. “You feel a little better now, darlin’?”
“I do.” You glance over your shoulder at the house, then exhale a sigh and turn back to him, admitting quietly, “I don’t want to go back in there, though.”
He rises to his feet and pulls out a set of keys from the pocket of his black jeans. “Well, y’dont have to go back in there,” he states. “Is there somewhere I can take you? Friend’s house, maybe?”
“My best friend Megan went to Puerto Vallarta for Thanksgiving. Most of my other friends left Austin like I did,” you explain, sighing again. “Anyone who didn’t leave is spending their time with their family tonight and I don’t want to bother them.”
Joel hums, mulling it over in his mind. “Well, don’t know how comfortable you’ll be with the idea, but my place ain’t all too far from here. Ten minutes or so. Less if there’s no one out on the roads.”
“Joel, that’s so nice of you to offer, but I’ve already ruined your dinner tonight. The last thing I want to do is put you out even more,” you say, sheepishly.
“Sweetheart, you didn’t ruin a fuckin’ thing for me tonight. And you wouldn’t be puttin’ me out at all,” he promises. “S’gettin’ late and truth be told, I just wanna get you somewhere warm.” Holding out his free hand, he adds, “And comfortable.”
“But Joel—”
“I can be real stubborn too, y’know,” he teases you with a playful grin. “We’ll be out here all night long freezin’ our fuckin’ asses off.”
He isn’t going to take no for an answer.
“Okay,” you relent, accepting the offer.
You place your hand in his and he helps you off the swing. He doesn’t let it go as he leads the way to a sleek, black Dodge Ram that’s parked behind your grandfather’s silver Mercedes. He gives your hand a gentle squeeze before dropping it. “Sorry, sweet girl. It’s a bit of a trip up into the seat,” he remarks, chuckling as he opens the passenger side door for you. He gives you a boost into the truck; the scent of new leather is mixed with that of his cologne. It is all man and couldn’t be sexier. “Good up there?”
“Yeah, I’m good.”
Joel closes the door and hurriedly walks around to the driver’s side of the pickup, climbing up into his seat with ease. “Seatbelt,” he tells you as he sticks the key into the ignition. The first thing he does as soon as the engine roars to life is turn on your seat warmer. He switches on the heater as well, waiting a minute before asking, “You warm enough?”
“I am. Thank you, Joel.”
“‘Course.” He nods and pulls away from the curb.
As Joel’s driving you further and further from your parents’ house, all you feel is sweet relief.
“M’sorry the place is such a mess.”
Joel leads you into his living room and touches his hand to the back of his neck, embarrassed.
Amused, you raise an eyebrow at him and say, “I’d hardly call cardboard boxes stacked neatly over on one side of the room a mess, Joel.” You take a look around his townhouse—most of his furniture’s still wrapped up in plastic, except for the black leather couch and the rustic, acacia wood coffee table. He has a flat screen mounted over the brick fireplace; he’s been sleeping on the couch, or at least, that’s what the pillow and Texas Longhorns fleece throw tells you. You turn to him. “If you want to see a real mess, you should see my apartment in Chicago.”
You watch him as he takes off his glasses and puts them down on the coffee table.
“S’it pretty bad?”
“My roommate’s a kindergarten teacher too. You’d be surprised at how many popsicle sticks two girls in their twenties can end up bringing home. Not to mention all the glitter.”
“If you’re tryin’ to make me feel better, it’s workin’ like a charm.” Joel picks up his blanket and drapes it over the armchair adjacent to the couch. “Go on and make yourself comfortable, darlin’. You thirsty at all? I’ve got water or I can make coffee. Also got a pack of beer in the fridge,” he adds, jokingly.
“What kind of beer?” you ask curiously as you sink down onto the couch.
He seems pleasantly surprised by your interest.
“Lone Star.”
“I’ll have one. If it’s not too much trouble.”
“‘Course it’s not too much trouble. Not at all.”
It’s hard not to stare as he walks away towards the kitchen. Your thighs clench together—his back, his shoulders, those unkempt salt and pepper curls of his that tuft at the nape of his neck right above his collar—this man is the epitome of utter perfection. Your mind wanders and you can’t help imagine the way your legs would look thrown over those broad shoulders. How his large hands would feel on your plush skin as they wrap around your thighs to hold them in place against his chest while he fucks y—
“Here you go, darlin’.”
Joel’s deep voice shatters your train of thought.
He’s standing beside you, holding out the bottle of beer, which he’d uncapped along with his own.
Blood rushes to your cheeks. “Thank you,” you say as you accept the beer from him, trying not to lose the sliver of composure that you’re holding onto—it wavers when your fingers accidentally brush his.
“S’it too cold in here for you?” he asks. “I normally keep the thermostat pretty low.”
“It’s a little cold,” you admit. “But it’s not a prob—”
It’s too late. Joel walks over to the fireplace and he manages to strike a match and light it with just his free hand. After tossing in a couple logs, he makes his way back over to the couch and he takes a seat beside you. “That a bit better, sweetheart?”
“You didn’t have to do that.”
He shrugs. “You said it was cold.”
He takes a long, generous swig of the golden lager before setting the bottle down on one of the green ceramic coasters on the coffee table. He sits back; an arm stretches out over the back of the couch in a casual manner and his legs spread open causing your thighs to clench together once more.
“You feelin’ alright?”
“Huh?” You then realize he is referring to what had happened at dinner. “Oh. Um. Yeah, I’m alright.”
Joel peers at you, his concern evident, clear in the depths of his dark brown eyes. “You sure?”
“No. Not really,” you confess, tracing the mouth of your bottle with your index finger. “But I’ll get over it. I don’t have a choice but to get over it.” Another lump starts forming in the back of your throat and you swallow it, quickly chasing it down with a gulp of beer.
“M’guessin’ your family’s got somethin’ to do with why you decided to leave Austin?”
“Bingo,” you deadpan. “I was so sick and tired of it all. How I was talked to, how I was treated. Like I’m such a fucking disappointment.”
He frowns. “You’re not a disappointment, though.”
“My parents think I’m a disappointment. My dad’s never told me he’s proud of me, Joel. Nothing I do, nothing I have ever done is good enough for either of them, but especially not for him.” There is a dull ache that settles in your heart and all you can do is silently will yourself not to breakdown again, not in front of him, at least. You sigh. “Do you know what it’s like, not feeling good enough for someone that is supposed to love you no matter what? Someone who’s supposed to love you unconditionally?”
Joel knows it’s a rhetorical question, he knows it’s not something you’re expecting him to answer.
But he does answer, because he does know.
“I do, actually. I know all too well what it feels like.”
He looks down at his left hand, which is resting on his thigh and you do too. Your eyes flicker over the fading tanline on his finger—where he once wore a wedding band. You don’t even think twice about it and reach over, sweeping your own finger over the patch of pale skin. Without missing a beat, you tell him, “You’re good enough, Joel.”
He can’t help but laugh a little. “She’d disagree.”
“She’s wrong.”
“You don’t know what happened.”
“I don’t have to know what happened.”
“That ain’t how it works, sweetheart.”
Stubbornly, you lift your chin. “I don’t care.”
Joel laughs. “Y’think you know me, darlin’? Y’think you know what kinda man I am? Hm?”
“I do know.” You place your hand on top of his and his jaw clenches. “You’re a good man, Joel Miller. I know that you’re a good man.”
“You couldn’t be more wrong ‘bout that.” There’s a brief pause and he hesitates before confessing, “A good man wouldn’t be sittin’ here just fuckin’ dyin’ to kiss his best friend’s daughter.”
You freeze and grip your bottle so tight, you would not be the slightest bit surprised if it shatters right in your hand. “You—you want to kiss me?”
“Since the moment you opened up that front door and said hello to me.” Joel shakes his head. “S’not right.” He’s riddled with guilt, with shame. He pulls his hand out from under yours. “I ain’t a good man at all. You’re half my fuckin’ age and I shouldn’t—”
You cut him off, softly uttering his name. “Joel?”
“Yeah?” His voice sounds hoarse. Strained.
“Can you—will you kiss me? Please?”
You need more than just his kiss, so much more.
You need him to unravel you in every way possible, but beggars can’t be choosers and if one kiss was all you’ll get tonight, then you’ll fucking take it.
Joel swallows dryly. “That really what you want?”
His eyes flicker down to your lips and then back to meet your sweet, innocent gaze.
“Yes,” you breathe in reply. “Please. Kiss me.”
He leans in, and there’s brief hesitation on his part and he stops mere centimeters from your face, his nose lightly brushing against yours. “We shouldn’t be doin’ this.” His warm breath fans over your lips; they’re parted, eager to meet his own. “I shouldn’t let this happen. I—I should take you back home to your family before I do somethin’ real stupid.”
Your heart sinks. “That really what you want?” you parrot his own question back to him and hold your breath, knowing there’s a chance his answer could be the answer that you don’t want to hear, the one that could end up crushing you.
Joel lifts his hand, cupping the side of your face in his palm. “‘Course it’s not what I want.” His thumb strokes your cheek, his dark eyes taking in each of your features. He’s studying, memorizing them, as if he’ll never get another chance to be this close to you again. With the line he’s about to cross, you’re both about to cross, that just might be the case.
The tension seeps through your skin and into your bones.
You exhale shakily. “Then just kiss me already.”
He moves his hand and gently curls it around your chin, holding you steady as he leans further in and closes the gap of space in between you. He moves slowly and he’s gentle—too gentle. You want to tell him you’re not made of porcelain, but you’re much too preoccupied with how Joel’s mouth feels, how perfectly it molds against yours. He delicately nips your bottom lip with his teeth. It’s a silent request.
He wants more, more, more. Your lips part for him, granting him the access he’s seeking. Joel doesn’t waste a single moment and he explores every inch of your mouth with his tongue, eliciting a whimper from you. Without breaking contact, he takes your beer and somehow he manages to lean over to set it down on the coffee table without dropping it. He then pushes you back into the couch and the next thing you know, you’re lying on your back and he’s settled in between your legs, using one of his arms to keep himself propped up, while the other wraps itself in your hair. Your own hands clutch at fistfuls of his shirt, fingers gripping the fabric so tight, the skin over your knuckles stretches painfully thin.
You whimper out again, the noise prompting a low growl to rumble through his chest—suddenly, he’s not being so gentle. He isn’t being rough. But he is hungry, he’s possessive, and he’s letting it show in the way he’s swelling your lips with his kisses, how his fingers are gripping the hair at the base of your neck as he firmly tilts your head backwards to give himself better access to your mouth.
Your mind is racing, and yet, you can’t think at all.
It’s not until his hips buck into you and you feel his bulge through his jeans against you that you break away from him. “Joel,” you gasp his out name. You grip his shirt even harder, chest heaving as you try to catch a much needed breath of air. You can feel the arousal pooling between your legs. The flames burning in the fireplace are nothing in comparison to the ones that are burning deep in your belly.
“Fuck,” he curses, pulling back. “M’sorry—”
The last thing you want is for him to be sorry.
“No! Please don’t be sorry,” you rasp, gazing up at him. Your eyes are glazed over with a lust you have never felt for another man before. “I want this, you know I want this—don’t you?”
Joel sighs, brushing a soft kiss to your temple. You wish he could take a peek into your mind, see how badly you want to be wrapped up in his arms—you want to get lost in his embrace, feel him all around you, inside you. You want him to write his name on your bare skin with his tongue, whisper his secrets into the spot where you’re aching for him most.
He sighs again and lightly shakes his head.
“Baby, y’need to think real hard ‘bout this—”
“I want this,” you repeat yourself. “I want you.”
Relaxing the death grip you have on his shirt, your hands release the fabric and move to the buttons. Your fingers tremble slightly as you undo each one of them; after an embarrassing fumble or two, you manage to get them all and push Joel’s shirt off of his shoulders. He sucks in a quick, sharp breath as your greedy hands begin roaming, exploring every inch of smooth, tan skin on his upper body.
Your touch erases all the uncertainty he’s feeling.
“Wanna feel you too, baby.” Joel takes the hem of your sweater and gestures for you to sit up slightly so he can pull it over your head. Carelessly tossing it somewhere behind him, he glances down, blood rushing to his cock as he takes in the sight of your supple curves clad in sweet, delicate white lace. “Christ, you look so fuckin’ soft.”
He doesn’t even realize he’s saying it out loud, not until he catches the flirtatious little grin tugging at the corners of your mouth. You sit up slightly once again and reach behind you to unhook the lingerie and take it off, adding it to the ever growing pile of clothes on the hardwood floor. Licking his lips, he meets your gaze for just a moment before dipping his head down, wrapping them around one of your hardened nipples. “Joel,” you mewl his name as he flicks the pebbled flesh with his tongue.
Joel releases it with a lewd, wet pop and he tosses you a smirk before he moves to the other to give it the same attention. He’s a biter, you find out as he takes it between his teeth, nipping over and over.
Your throbbing center clenches around nothing.
“Joel, please. I need you—I fucking need you.”
He tears away from your nipple. “Where, baby?”
You open your mouth to answer him, but your own gasp cuts you off as he starts trailing his lips down the length of your body until he comes to a stop at the waistband of your skirt. One of his hands finds the zipper on the side and he looks up at you, as if asking for permission. Desperate, you nod. Pulling the zipper down, he slides the skirt, along with the pair of lace white panties you’re wearing off of you and discards them, leaving you completely naked.
Your insecurities begin to trickle in, but Joel’s able to halt them right in their tracks.
“You’re too fuckin’ beautiful, sweetheart,” he says, his reassurance calming your nerves instantly. “So beautiful. So beautiful and so fuckin’ perfect.”
You watch as he makes himself comfortable—well as comfortable as he can—in between your legs. He shoots you a sheepish look.
“Knew I should’a put the damn bed together. But I been puttin’ it off and puttin’ it off all week long.”
You giggle breathlessly. “Who needs a bed?”
Chuckling, Joel feathers a kiss on your inner thigh.
Your smile is all but slapped right off of your face.
“Joel.”
Any traces of humor vanish. You’re both reminded of the next wall that’s about to be broken, the next line that’s about to be crossed.
He looks down and groans. “Such a pretty, perfect little pussy,” he remarks, his voice low, husky. “Bet she’s nice and wet for me, ain’t she baby?” He lifts his hand and drags the tip of his finger up your slit slowly, your slick coating his digit. He smirks up at you. “Oh, she’s fuckin’ soakin’, sweet girl. S’this all for me?”
Foreplay wasn’t in the vocabulary of guys your age and while part of you wishes Joel would hurry, you also find yourself enjoying the fact that he’s taking his time, teasing you—making you really want it to the point where you’re willing to fucking plead him for it. Joel Miller’s the only man you’d ever beg for.
He skims your other thigh with his nose and kisses it just like he’d done with the other. “Tell me darlin’ s’this where you need me? Right here?”
Frantically, you nod your head.
“Words, honey. Gotta use your words for me.”
“Yes!” you choke out. “That’s where I need you. So bad. Need you so fucking bad. Please Daddy—”
You freeze and momentarily, he does too. Truth be told, you wouldn’t really blame him if he just stood up, gathered your clothes and tossed them at you, demanding you put them back on and leave.
Joel raises an eyebrow. “Daddy, huh?”
Your face is on fire. “I—it slipped,” you stammer. “I didn’t mean to call you—I’m so sorry, Joel. I’m not even sure where that came from. I’ve never—”
You’re on the verge of panicking, then notice there is a certain glimmer in his eyes and realize he liked it when you’d called him that. You’re taken aback.
He fucking likes being called Daddy.
“Sweetheart, there ain’t nothin’ to be sorry ‘bout. I promise. You can call me that. But on a condition.”
You stare at him, no idea what the condition could possibly be.
“Ain’t allowed to call anyone else that. Ever.” There is a possessiveness in his tone and it nearly makes you come on the spot. “That understood?”
You nod obediently. “Yes.”
“Yes what?” he prompts.
“Yes, Daddy.”
“Good. That’s a real good girl, honey.”
For a split second, you can’t breathe.
This man will surely be the death of you.
Joel plants one final kiss, this one on your mound.
“Please,” you whimper, the heat in your lower belly growing and fizzling out to the rest of your body at the feeling of his breath over your aching core.
“Please what?” he murmurs into the sensitive skin as his arms curl around your legs. “Tell Daddy—tell Daddy what you need baby, so he can take care of you.”
“Your mouth,” you beg him, desperation mounting with each passing second. Your hips buck upward; his biceps flex as he tightens his arms around your thighs, pinning you down in place. “Your mouth—I need your mouth. Please.”
Joel moves his head to the junction of your thighs, his mouth hovering right over where you needed it the most. He looks up at you with hunger, like he’s a ravenous, starved man who hasn’t had a thing to eat in days. “What a good girl,” he praises, dipping his head even lower. His mouth waters at the sight of your glistening folds. “Bet you taste as delicious as you fuckin’ look, don’t you, pretty girl?”
He flattens his tongue and glides it up your slit, his fingers digging into the soft flesh of your thighs as he gets his first taste. You gasp out when it grazes your swollen, aroused clit and your head falls back onto the couch. “Oh fuck,” you whine, reaching for his hair. You weave your hands through his graying locks and pull his face closer. Another swipe of his tongue causes your back to arch up off the leather and the edges of your vision to blur.
He pulls an arm from around your legs and drags a finger down your drenched entrance, lips securing themselves around your clit. His gaze stays locked on you as he pushes his long, thick digit into you—you feel him smirk as he curls it upwards, pressing the pad of his finger firmly against the soft spongy spot inside you, making you see stars. Joel slips in a second finger and curls it along with the other to double the pleasure. He begins thrusting his digits in and out of your warm cunt, eliciting what had to be the sweetest sounds that he’d ever heard in his entire life from you. He combines it with with slow, firm, and precise stokes of his tongue on your clit.
“Fuck, yes, just like that,” you encourage him, your loud, breathy moans bouncing off the bare, freshly painted walls of his house. “Yes Daddy, fuck—feels so fucking good, please don’t fucking stop—”
It’s not like you have to tell him what to do.
Joel knows exactly what he’s doing, and he knows it too. He listens to every single one of your moans and feels every single buck of your hips. He is sure to pay extra attention to when your hands pull and tug at his curls; he remembers what combinations of licking, sucking, and fucking make you squeeze your plush thighs tighter around his head; reminds himself of which technique brings your body off of the couch, what makes your toes curl. Joel’s quick to learn your body’s cues, each and every last one. He already knows when to give you more, when to give you less—when he needs speed up, when it is time to slow it all down.
You sing his name over and over again, pressure of an orgasm already building between your hips. His tongue swirls around your sensitive little bundle of nerves as his fingers pump in and out of your cunt and you glance down. You almost choke when you catch a tiny glimpse of the muscles in his forearm, the way they flex underneath his skin with each of his movements as he’s fucking you. Your gaze flits to his face. His own eyes are fixed intently on you.
You’re milliseconds away from release.
“Joel, I’m so fucking close. I’m gonna come—”
His arm squeezes your thigh in encouragement.
One last, broad stroke of Joel’s tongue on your clit sends an overwhelming wave of pleasure crashing over you. Strangled cries tear themselves from the back of your throat as your velvet walls flutter and convulse, squeezing his fingers. Joel, who’s face is still half buried in your pussy, takes it upon himself to help you ride through the high. He peppers soft, delicate kisses onto your swollen clit as his fingers continue to slide in and out of you slowly. He waits patiently until your loud cries dissolve into nothing but breathless little whimpers before he crawls up, positioning himself on top of you, a hand on either side of your head. His beard and mustache glisten with a mixture of saliva and slick—and somehow it it ignites another fire and you’re ready for more, so much more.
“Sweet girl,” Joel murmurs. Leaning down, his lips meet yours and you taste yourself on his tongue
You place a hand on his chest, right over his heart, which beats strong and steady against your palm.
You start dragging your hand down his chest, your fingernails raking over his skin. It travels lower and lower, gliding over the softness of his stomach. He tenses when you brush the waistband of his jeans.
Tearing away from you, he grits out, “Baby. No.”
You immediately snatch your hand away from him.
“You changed your mind?” you question, stomach sinking at the thought of it being over already.
You’re just so fucking greedy for this man.
He offers reassurance—and an explanation.
“No, that ain’t it at all. S’just—” Joel pauses briefly and flushes a shade of red. “S’just that, well, I ain’t got condoms on me, darlin’.”
Relieved, you assure him, “It’s okay. I’m clean.”
“Me too. But that ain’t what I’m worried about,” he admits, his face going from red to maroon.
You smile, finding his embarrassment endearing.
“I’m on birth control.”
Joel clenches his hands into fists. His cock strains against his zipper at the thought of it—taking your cunt bare. “Y’sure you want this?” He rasps out. “I need you to be a hundred percent sure ‘bout it.”
“I’m a thousand percent sure, Joel. I fucking need it. More than anything I’ve ever needed in my life.”
That’s all he needed to hear.
Joel stands up, his gaze never leaving your own as he kicks off his black leather boots. You sit up, and it takes every ounce of strength you have in you to remain composed as he unbuckles his belt, unzips his jeans and pushes them down his legs. You bite down on your bottom lip and try not to stare at his bulge like it’s your first time ever seeing a dick, but if he’s as big as he looks in his boxer briefs, maybe this would end up being a lot more than what your body could handle.
He hooks his thumbs underneath the elastic of his boxer briefs and slides them off, allowing his thick, hard cock to spring free from its confinement.
You swallow harshly. He’s fucking massive.
“Like what you see, sweetheart?” Joel chuckles at the expression on your face as he kicks aside all of his clothes. His length rests on his lower abdomen and precome smears the skin there. Wrapping one of his hands around it, he gives it a couple strokes, just a hint of relief until you come into play. “Hm?”
Licking your lips, you nod and stand up. You take a couple of wobbling step towards him—Joel’s cock hasn’t been anywhere near you and you’re already fucking walking side to side. “Come here,” you say to him, taking both his hands in your own. You pull him back to the couch and gently guide him down into a sitting position. Swinging your leg over both of his, you straddle his lap. You gingerly place your hands on his shoulders, nails digging into his flesh softly when you feel him brush against your pussy; the contact makes you both moan in unsion. “This okay?” you ask him, breathily. You can’t be sure as to why you’re suddenly feeling a bit shy, like you’re not planning to ride his fucking soul out of him.
“More than okay.” Joel brushes your hair over your shoulder and then drags his hand down the length of your body, committing to his memory every one of your curves. “Gonna be a real good girl and ride my cock, baby?”
You gift him with a cheeky grin. “Yes, Daddy.”
The shyness begins to dissipate and you dive your hand between your bodies, wrapping it around his cock, causing his breath to catch in his throat. You lift yourself slightly off his lap, teasingly gliding the head of his cock down your drenched slit, then up, letting it graze over your clit, which is still senstive to the touch thanks to his lips and tongue.
Joel’s hands find their way around you, running up the curve of your spine. “Wasn’t aware that my girl was such a little fuckin’ tease,” he remarks in a low tone. He slides his hands back down and his large, warm palms cup your ass, fingers kneading flesh.
“Your girl?” you repeat, your heart skipping a beat, stomach fluttering at the idea of being his. “Is that what I am to you, Joel? Your girl?”
“S’that what you want, honey?” Joel whispers, his eyes finding your own, two hopeful gazes meeting in the deepest, most intimate moment that you’ve shared all evening. “Y’wanna be my girl?”
Leaning forward, your reply is preceded by kiss, so soft and so sweet his heart swells inside his chest.
“I do,” you mumble against his lips. “I really do.”
Still gripping your ass, Joel eases you up and lines himself up at your entrance. He bucks his hips and slides the head of his cock past your folds and into your heat. “Breathe, baby,” he whispers, his hands moving to your hips, thumbs grazing your skin. He slowly guides you further down his shaft, grunting as you sink down, taking him inch by inch. “Christ, you’re so goddamn fuckin’ tight—”
The initial stretch is almost too much for you. Your nails sink deeper into his shoulders as he pulls you down further down onto him. “Joel,” you whimper, biting back a loud cry. You’re fully seated, his cock completely sheathed inside you, his head pressing against your cervix. You’re so full of him.
One of his hands abandons your hip and slips over your lower belly.
“This where you’re feelin’ me, pretty girl?” he coos gently. “This where you feel Daddy’s cock? In your belly?”
“Yes,” you sigh out contentedly. “Feels so good.”
You lift yourself off of him, then slide back down in a slow, languid motion.
Joel’s head falls back onto the couch. “Christ.” He mutters the word, his chest heaving. Staring up at the ceiling, he takes a moment to catch his breath and silently wills himself not to explode. Once he’s managed to somewhat compose himself, he looks at you again, pupils blown so wide you can’t find a single trace of brown. “Go on, then,” he rasps. “Go on, sweetheart.”
The living room fills with the sounds of low moans and panting breaths as you move, alternating your maneuvers between rocking and bouncing on him in a frenzied, fast paced rhythm. The friction of his pelvis each time you grind into it winds up the coil between your hips and suddenly you’re desperate, so pathetically desperate for another release.
“Yeah, that’s it baby,” Joel encourages, feeling the beginning of his own climax building quick—much too quick for his liking. “Jus’ like that, honey. What a good girl you are for me, so fuckin’ good for me. Just like I fuckin’ knew you would be.”
“Fuck,” you whine. “You feel so good, Daddy. Feel so fucking good inside me—”
Leaning back, you firmly plant both your hands on his thighs and arch your body, head falling back as you pick up the pace. The burning fire casts a soft, orange glow around you and his jaw falls slack. His eyes drink in every single fucking thing about you, watch you with an adoration that, for the first time in your whole life, makes you feel wanted. Actually wanted.
“Joel,” you whisper his name over and over. You’re both beginning to lose track of where you end and he begins. You can hardly hear the praises that are spilling from his plush lips over the squelching wet sounds of your cunt sliding up and down his cock. There’s no chance to warn him—your mouth parts in a silent scream as you come undone on him.
“M’so fuckin’ close,” Joel grunts. He feels his cock twitch as your pussy grips him like a vice. “Where? Where do you want it, pretty girl?”
“Inside me. Please, I need you to come inside me,” you plead him, the innocent tone of your voice the last thing to push him over the edge he’s teetering on. “Fill me up, Daddy—please, want every drop of you inside me—”
Joel reaches for your arms and yanks you forward, into him. Throwing them around his neck, his own arms wrap around you and roughly slam you down onto him, holding you firmly in place. He bucks his hips upwards, balls tightening, his cock pulsing as he comes. Strings of hissed curse words and deep gutteral groans muffle when he drops his face into your collarbone. Still holding you in place, he spills his load into you, his seed filling you to the brim.
He sags back against the couch and pulls you with him. Wrapping his arms tighter around you, he lets himself stay buried inside of you, the primal in him relishing the heavenly feeling of his come dripping messily out of your pussy and all over his thighs.
“You alright, sweetheart?” he asks after a minute.
“M’perfect,” you mumble against his chest. You’re not sure if it’s because you’re coming down from a high or if it’s because he’s tracing patterns on your shoulder blade with his finger, but you shiver in his arms.
“Let me get the blanket—”
Joel starts to move to get up, but you stop him.
“No, please don’t,” you say, pushing him back. You put all of your weight onto him, as if he can’t move you off to the side if he really wanted to. “I—I want you inside me for a little while longer. Please.”
“But baby, you’re cold—”
You don’t bother explaining to him that you’re not.
“Just hold me. Please.”
And that’s exactly what he does.
Snuggling into him, you close your eyes and Joel’s hand strokes at your hair. Between that, the thrum of his heartbeat against your cheek and the sound of the fireplace crackling behind you, you’re nearly soothed into sleep.
“Joel?”
“Yeah, darlin’?”
“I hate Thanksgiving,” you admit, smiling tiredly to yourself when you feel a laugh rumble in his chest.
“Do you, now?”
You nod. “I do. But I’m really thankful for you.”
Giving you a gentle squeeze, Joel kisses the top of your head and murmurs, “Well, m’thankful for you too, sweet girl.” He pauses momentarily. “I ain’t all too sure how I’m s’pposed to just let you go home. I know I have to but—”
Lifting your head off of his chest, you take the side of his face and cradle it in your palm. You meet his gaze, heart sinking when you see the sadness that has replaced the lust from earlier.
He doesn’t mean home to your parents’ house. He means Chicago.
You graze his beard with your thumb. “I’m coming back in a few weeks,” you remind him, gently. “I’ve only planned to spend a week out here just for the holidays, but I can visit sooner. As soon as the kids go on winter break, I can come back to Austin.”
“You’d do that for me?”
“Of course I would, Joel. I’m not sure how it would work what with my parents and all, though. I don’t want them catching onto us.”
“C’mere.” Joel brushes your lips with his before he makes his promise. “I’ll figure it out, baby. Leave it all to me and I’ll figure it out.”
divider credit to @saradika-graphics 🤎
#asdfghjkl BYE#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller#joel miller x reader#dbf!joel#joel miller x f!reader#joel miller x female reader#joel miller x you#joel tlou#joel miller smut#joel miller fic#joel miller x y/n#joel miller au#dbf joel miller#dbf joel x reader#fic: someone to be thankful for
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I absolutely adore your Spencer x Hotch!sister fics! <3 Can we possibly see the dynamics if it were switched? A Hotch x Spencer's Older Sister fic, pretty please? But no worries if not! Thank you, hope you have a good day!
Was Spencer’s sister always this shy? Hotch can’t remember (and he can’t stop himself from flirting, just a little). fem, 1.4k
“Reid?” Hotch asks.
Spencer grins at his phone.
“Reid.” Hotch clears his throat. “Spencer.”
Spencer puts his phone down on the desk, but he doesn’t seem to have heard Hotch either way. When he realises Hotch is standing by his desk, he perks up. “Hotch, can I ask a favour?”
Hotch had been about to ask Spencer a favour, but it’s fine. “Sure.”
“Uh, my sister is supposed to meet me for lunch in half an hour, but she doesn’t really like restaurants and I’m– me. Do you think she could come to the office?” he asks.
“Sure, Reid. That’s fine, she just needs a visitor card.”
Hotch can’t remember the last time he saw you. Probably when Reid first started tailing Gideon a few years ago, when you’d made the trip from Vegas to Quantico to see how he was settling. It was a brief introduction, and, while you may possess a few more practical graces than your brother, you were far shyer at the time. You didn’t mind shaking Hotch’s hand, but you struggled to maintain eye contact after.
You don’t look much like your brother for reasons he’s never cared to ask, as Hotch has never placed much value on how family comes about. He doubts Spencer does either. But you stay in Vegas with your mother, and Spencer sees you three times a year. Birthdays and Christmas. And today, apparently.
“What’s the occasion?” Hotch asks.
Spencer smiles again. “I think she’s gonna move here, with me.”
“Yeah?” Hotch isn’t the prying boss, but he’s a nosy friend. “Everything okay?”
“Things are great, I mean.” Spencer has the expression of someone deciding what they can and can’t say. Eventually his eyes clear, and Hotch feels satisfied at the realisation that trust has settled tightly between them. “When I decided my mom needed help, Y/N, she hated that, and maybe she resented me, but– I used to worry she hated me, but she doesn’t.”
“I don’t think she could,” Hotch says easily.
Spencer nods. Whether he agrees is up for debate, though. “If t’s finally hit her that mom’s sick forever, so she’s feeling out her options.”
“That must be a hard thing to realise.”
“Yeah. But things really are great, she’s here now, her stuff is coming tomorrow, and– and maybe she’ll stay for a while.”
Hotch likes excitement on Reid (when it doesn’t impede their most important work, that is). Truthfully, there’s so much to worry about that Hotch can’t admit to worrying about Reid as much in recent years, and yet he’s relieved to hear that there will be more Reid’s in a hundred mile radius.
“I’m glad,” Hotch says honestly. “She’s more than welcome here. If she can cope with the photographs in the conference room, the round table is all yours.”
Hotch retreats to his office and forgets about it for a while, submerged in his own lunch and a certain seven year old’s birthday planning. Jack wants a clown, and a cake with Cars, and he really wants a bounce house. Which is great, but Jack decided he wanted the bounce house last night, and his party is at the end of the week. Hotch makes a bunch of phone calls and finally gets to take a victory lap forty five minutes later.
He steps out of his office, enticed by the sound of laughter. Spencer laughs like he’s surprised ninety percent of the time, and yours is no different. It’s clear to the listening ear who taught Spencer how to laugh.
“I love it, I don’t ever want to hear a bad word about it,” you say through peels of it, a breathy, smiley warmth to you as a chair creaks from within the conference room, “and I mean that. Please don’t tell me any facts.”
“I know so many you’d like to hear!”
“I don’t doubt it, but please, as a favour? You can tell me about everything else.”
“Processed cheeses–”
Hotch turns the corner as you put down a sandwich. “Okay, fine. I’m done, are you happy?” you ask, your smile fading into a more polite one as you meet Hotch’s eyes.
“I didn’t get to say anything.”
“Some things are better left unsaid,” Hotch says. He doesn’t interrupt, only says it into the quiet, and he doesn’t bother with fanfare. It’s just to alert Spencer of his presence. “Y/N,” Hotch adds, “hello. It’s good to see you.”
He’s alarmed by your reaction —your eyes widen in your seat, hands hidden beneath your thighs, and your lips part ever so slightly. “Agent Hotchner,” you say softly, almost weakly.
He’s not that intimidating, is he?
“I’m sorry to interrupt,” he says.
“You’re not interrupting, I was just telling her about the dangers of processed cheese. They’re so irregularly salty that the sodium has to be marked as a cause of heart disease on FDA approved packaging for the service industry,” Spencer says.
“I’m sure some every now and then won’t hurt,” Hotch says, attempting to offer you a friendly smile. “Spencer tells me you’re staying here for a while, that’s great. How are you liking the weather? It must be a change from Nevada?”
You look peculiarly hot. “It’s different,” you agree.
Voices ring from the bullpen.
Spencer stands up. You stand with him, but Spencer says, “Sorry, is that Morgan? He said I have to go and get him when you’re here.”
“Spencer–”
Spencer’s already leaving. “He threatened me, actually,” he’s saying, more to himself than either of you as he departs.
You wring your hands.
Hotch worries his brows are giving him away. You’re acting strangely, but maybe he’s too much. He is a special agent, sometimes the other parents at Jack’s school get antsy around him like they’re worried he can tell they haven’t paid their last parking fine. Maybe you’ve a secret crime you’ve committed.
He watches you more closely, to your flustering.
No crime, Hotch thinks, but a secret. Even from Spencer.
“So how’s your day, Agent Hotchner?” you ask softly.
It’s actually quite sweet, the way you say it. Your nerves are cute.
“Busy.” The expected answer. “I’ve been trying to plan a birthday party between paperwork.”
“For Jack?”
He smiles with more gentleness. “Yes, for Jack.”
“He was, um, a newborn, when we last met. Just a couple of weeks old, I think. How old is he turning now?”
“Seven.”
You breathe out. “Wow. Seven years.”
Seven years, and your crush on him remains. That’s what he’d forgotten —when you visited Spencer at the time, even Gideon had mentioned your frazzled, almost dizzy disposition whenever Hotch was around. And Gideon tended to focus narrowly on work at work, so Hotch had known he wasn’t making it up.
At the time it had been cute, but awkward too, and infeasible. He’d been dedicatedly married and in love with his Haley. And if he weren’t, your age gap might’ve been a little non-functioning, Hotch well into his thirties, and you a fresh twenty-five.
Today you’re older, and more beautiful. Something about you has shifted, a blossoming into your features, and Hotch actually has the ability to notice it now.
Your Spencer’s sister, he remembers suddenly. Probably not a woman he should flirt with, some subtle compliment lost on his tongue.
“You look the same,” you say.
He laughs. “That’s kind and untrue. I’m getting old.”
The look you give him then is a shock and a pit, long the long forgotten twist of butterflies. “No,” you say, looking down at your hands, “I wouldn’t say that.”
“What would you say?” he asks.
You’re saved —poor girl, he doesn’t know what he was thinking, you can barely hold your head up— as Morgan bounds up the stairs and into the conference room. He gathers you for a hug as though he knows you better than he does, and Hotch loses sight of your face.
Unknown to him and unseen, Morgan’s greeting is white noise. Why does he talk like that? you think to yourself desperately. He’s asking you all those questions with this weight to them, and he’s so calm! I’m going back to Vegas.
“How long are you staying?” Morgan asks.
You laugh weakly and accidentally catch Hotch’s eye, who smiles at you nicely.
“Oh, I don’t know. A couple of weeks, maybe.”
Longer, if you have reason.
#aaron hotchner x reader#aaron hotchner x you#aaron hotchner x y/n#aaron hotchner#aaron hotchner fic#aaron hotchner blurb#aaron hotchner drabble#aaron hotchner imagine#aaron hotchner fanfic#aaron hotchner fanfiction#hotch x reader#hotch#hotch x you#hotch blurb#hotch drabble#criminal minds
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out of my head ✮ l.hs [m]
✮ synopsis: years after your friendship with heeseung has begun crumbling, you ask him to be part of one of the biggest days of your life - your wedding day.
✮ genre: estranged best friends to ??? ; semi-unrequited lovers au ; angst ; fluff
✮ pairing: singer!lee heeseung x financial advisor!fem!reader ; sim jaeyun x reader
✮ word count: 10.4k (yikes...)
✮ rating: nc-17.
✮ warning(s): ...kissing? lol? a lot of hurt with no comfort, semi-unrequited lovers, wedding superstitions, mentions of having kids.
✮ playlist: off my face - justin bieber ; are we still friends? - tyler, the creator ; your eyes only - enhypen ; this is why i need you - jesse ruben.
✮ a/n: i'm a yapper sorry, but happiest birthday to heeseung <3 that's my pookie! i love u.

four months ago.
"you're getting married?"
you and heeseung had been best friends for nearly twenty years. the two of you met at a park during a winter storm, both of you having begged your mothers for a chance to go see the snow. a coincidence really, the two of you having somehow lived the same experience (one that heeseung was convinced was fate, while you just boiled it down to two four-year-old kids giving into the natural urge to plunge their grubby little fingers into cold, unforgiving snow.)
however, in the last few years, you'd grown apart.
you were freshly out of university, and heeseung had recently taken a job as a backup vocalist for one of the local entertainment companies. he'd been a singer his entire life, something you never allowed yourself to pick up because your mother had always taught you that safety nets were better. while heeseung openly explored his talents, eventually learning guitar and slowly, piano - you buried yourself in mathematical equations that made your brain hurt but forced yourself through it all because, after all, you needed a plan.
heeseung lived life on the edge. he didn't care if he had money, if he had belongings - life was more than that to him. he ventured out into the city with nothing but his headphones sometimes, not even so much as bothering to bring an umbrella if it looked like rain. "if i get soaked, i get soaked! life is more than staying inside with your head heavy from studying." he told you once, and you had just shaken your head.
"come on, y/n! don't you want to dance in the rain? don't you want to risk getting sick and having your mom make you that soup you really like? live a little, life is too short to waste away in our bedrooms." he tugged you out of your house that day, making you leave your phone behind as you trekked the entire city by foot, and once the rain did start falling, you were a mile from your house. "heeseung, i can't get sick! i have a presentation–"
"screw that presentation! live in the now!" he held you close as the rain pelted your backs, spinning you around as your laughter echoed in the neighborhood. "isn't this fun! aren't you enjoying this newfound freedom, no expectations? no logarithms, no polynomials!" he exclaimed, making you only laugh harder. "hee, i'm a finance major. that is fun for me!"
"and i'm a y/n major, i know you fucking hate math!" he giggled as he set you down, his fingers brushing your wet hair off your face. "i don't have things like you do, hee! i need a plan, i need something to fall back on. you work to make money to invest into yourself, you don't follow dreams!" you say as the two of you make the route back to your house, making him scoff.
"are you saying i'm wasting my time living the way i do?" he asked, a twang of hurt in his voice going unnoticed by you as you nodded. "i do. i think you are wasting your potential." your words pierced him, but he said nothing more as the two of you reached your mom's house. "see you later, hee."
"see you later."
that had happened three years ago. heeseung noticeably distanced himself after that day, limiting your hangouts to once a week instead of dropping by whenever he felt like it. soon, what were weekly hangouts became biweekly, before you were only meeting him for dinner on a random wednesday night in the middle of the month. you never asked so he never explained, and he simply assumed your silence on the subject meant that your puzzle of a life no longer had a need for a lee heeseung-shaped piece.
it pained him to think that you were outgrowing him.
heeseung was taking classes while working, having finally let your words get to him. you were right, in a way - he couldn't live his life on the edge forever, but the fact that you actually said that to him after constantly reassuring him that you believed in him was...unexpected, to say the least.
"she's just worried about you, hee." his older brother rattled, and heeseung shook his head. he had long told him about that day, and continued to try and decipher it for the years after. he didn’t really understand why it bothered him so much, but his only guess was the same — you had pretended to have an interest in his life, but yet, just like everyone else…
…you had no faith in him.
“yes, hee, i’m getting married! focus!” you tapped your pen on the notepad in front of you, the ice in your matcha long melted. heeseung was gripping his mug of hot chocolate for dear life, wondering where he missed the fact that you were even in a relationship to begin with. “i didn’t even know you had a boyfriend, forgive me for being curious.” he scoffs, making you roll your eyes.
“you would know if you answered any of my calls.” you say pointedly, making him groan. “okay, sorry i’ve been so absent from your life. what’s this guy’s name anyway?”
“sim jaeyun. you can call him jake.” you scribble something onto the notepad, before tearing it off and handing it to him. “this is his number, you’re going to have to talk to him at some point for what i’m about to ask you.”
your smile is mischievous, one that heeseung could never forget. it was engraved in his memory, it lit up his dreams and haunted his nightmares. the same smile he’s written endless lyrics about, the same smile he’s fallen in love with but refused to admit it.
“y/n, i haven’t seen you in six months. how can someone possibly gauge if a person is marriage material in such a short time?” he argues as he folds the scrap of yellow paper. you huff with a frustrated look on your face, “jaeyun and i have been seeing each other for a year! we made it official nine months ago, and we’ve been engaged for three months! i told you this already!”
“when the fuck did you even mention him!?” he groans, and you click your pen angrily.
"hee, if you hadn't been so focused on your own life, you'd be up to date with mine." grimacing, you reach into the knapsack you brought with you. pulling out a pink binder, you set it on the table, facing him. the paper sheet behind the vinyl reads the sims - may 2026.
he snorts inwardly, before you open the binder. "i know we haven't been as close as we'd like the past few years." you start, clearing your throat as he glances at you. you pull apart the binder rings, pulling out a folder as you continue to speak. "but, i know that you're still doing the singing thing, and i wanted to offer you a gig."
sliding the folder across to him, he glances down at it. it's thick with pieces of printer paper, lyrics typed neatly in times new roman. he recognizes the first song as he slips it out of the folder, his eyes scanning the sheet over and over.
"you want me to sing at your wedding?" he asks incredulously, and you take a sip of your watered down matcha. you press your lips together as you nod, staring at your fingers. "i showed jaeyun some clips of yours from a few of your other gigs, and he really liked it. this is our song, and we want you to sing it for our first dance." you tap the paper with your pen, and heeseung sighs.
"then why are we here alone? why isn't he here, showing face and asking me with you?" he accuses, and your frown is deep enough that he's sure you're about to throw your drink at him. "he's at work, if you must know. he's busy."
"and what does he work in that he can't come with his future wife to a measly two-hour lunch?" he taps his finger on the table, his eyes boring into yours, searching for any sign of the best friend he'd become estranged from. you weren't there.
"he's..." you bite your lip, staring at whatever was behind him in order not to meet his eyes. he looks at you pointedly, brows raised in expectation - a look he'd always hated from other people. you grimace before responding. "he's a singer, he's recording his album right now." heeseung blinks slowly, something you knew meant he was about to either get up and leave, or he was going to scold you once he processed the information. your best friend was nothing short of an open book, but as he looked down at the sheet in his hand and shook his head, you suddenly couldn't read him anymore.
"after all the shit you gave me." his tongue drips with poison before he shoves the sheet of paper back in the folder, tapping it with his hand before grimacing. "when is the wedding? do i have to be there for the whole thing?" his eyes are full of fire as he stares at you, and you can feel yourself shrink under his gaze. heeseung was rarely ever mad at you, even during these years of estrangement. you were never really on the receiving end of his anger, so you never handled it. "may second. you don't have to stay, if you don't want to. but i'd love for you to be there." your words are softer than you intended, and you can really feel the tug on the invisible string that ties the two of you together.
he nods, pressing his lips together as you watch his eyes brim with tears. "okay." he looks away as the first tear falls, wiping it away quickly before getting up. "just…send me the address when the time comes." he tucks the folder under his arm as he quickly walks away, trying not to let any more tears fall as he exits the cafe.
he can't help but hold everything in as he walks to his apartment, his mind spinning with potential thoughts. when did you get so far? how did he let you stray so deeply, and where did you even meet this guy? why didn't you tell him sooner? or did you, and he just blocked it out? he can't remember, no matter how hard he skims his memory. "fuck!" he screams as he slams his door shut, throwing the folder onto the table in the foyer.
he slides down the door, a sinking feeling taking over his stomach as he hits the cold tile. he can't help but sob into his hands, his shoulders shaking violently as he does. you're getting married and he missed the entire thing, he's missed the past year of your life and has no remorse in doing so. he only feels sorry now, now that he's realized he's too late.

april 30.
heeseung was increasingly stressed.
you had told him over text (because he wouldn't answer your calls) that he had to take the week off so he could participate in bonding activities with your fiancé's groomsmen. he'd been reluctant, and said he'd get there the thursday before the wedding, nothing sooner – making you upset. he didn't care, he wouldn't lie to himself – he felt betrayed that you were getting married to someone else. it was childish of him and he knew it, but as he aimlessly wandered jeju island alone – it only sank deeper into his bones that he had truly fucked up.
he didn't bother to bond with any of your bridesmaids, either – despite their starry eyes and warm smiles, he could only see the dread in your eyes, the twitch in your lower lip as you greeted your guests with your fiancé. he kept his hand on your lower back at all times, and heeseung wonders if jake knows that he did that in the past. heeseung wonders if jake knows that he held your hand as you both skipped through the sand on family vacations with your families, heeseung wonders if jake knows that he shared a bed with you on nights where thunderstorms would scare you out of your sleep and heeseung would run the three blocks to your house to comfort you.
heeseung wonders if jake knows that he was your first kiss, in the back of heeseung's '96 civic when you were both juniors in high school. heeseung wonders if jake knows that he is in love with you, and that he wasn't sure he'd ever be able to stop.
not that jake knowing any of this would matter, because come saturday night, you'd be out of his grasp forever. he would never place his hand on the small of your back to ease your nerves, he would never hold your hand, he would never share a bed with you. he would never kiss you again, and he'd rather never see you again if it were up to him.
but it wasn't, was it? "heeseung! you made it!"
heeseung turns to see park sunghoon walking towards him with his hand shielding his eyes from the sun. "oh shit, hey! i didn't think you and y/n kept in touch after high school, it's great to see you." heeseung greets him, and sunghoon snorts.
"we didn't, actually. jaeyun and i go way back." sunghoon nods. sunghoon had been a friend of the two of you, but it was hard to keep in touch due to his prominent ice skating career. he was always busy, and it was easier to cut ropes than continuously make promises to see each other only to fall short.
"i'm sorry i didn't reach out more." heeseung starts, but sunghoon shakes his head. "don't even worry about it! my life was too crazy to keep tabs on everybody." sunghoon shakes his head, and heeseung tilts his head at him. "was?" sunghoon shifts in the sand, picking his cuticles as he sighs. "i had to quit, i got injured pretty badly during the finale of my last competition. i won, though, so at least i went out with a bang." he shrugs, and heeseung can see the disappointment in his eyes before offering a hug. "i'm sorry, hoon. that really fucking sucks."
sunghoon rejects the hug with a shake of his head. "it's fine, i'm doing other things now. i work as a backup vocalist for jake, me and jay. oh, jay's here, too! have you seen him?" sunghoon gestures to the air, and heeseung offers a small smile before shaking his head. "haven't seen him yet. to be honest, i don't want to be here." heeseung's confession, if surprising, doesn't seem to faze sunghoon. instead, the younger boy nods. "i figured you wouldn't. you're singing for them, right? i heard through the grapevine." sunghoon smirks, and heeseung rolls his eyes before lightly punching his arm. "stop lying, you brat. you read it on the wedding program."
sunghoon gives him a soft pat on the back, before leaning closer. "she wasn't going to wait forever, heeseung." with a curt nod, sunghoon continues down the beach towards the resort, leaving heeseung with wide eyes and a heavy heart. what did he mean by that?
🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊
the night was heavy as the last of your guests straggled in, and your feet were swelling in your shoes from standing for so long. jake had offered to take over as you went up to your room to change them, and you were internally thanking him as you hobbled to the elevator.
only for you to arrive and see your best friend waiting there calmly, headphones over his ears as he softly nods along to whatever is playing. he looks up when the elevator finally opens, completely oblivious to your lingering presence behind him. it's only when you get in after him, feeling the shift of the elevator's floor, that he looks at you.
his eyes are unreadable as he skims them over your face, a soft tilt to his head before he presses button six, hand hovering over the button as he waits for you to speak. you put up five fingers, and he presses it carefully as the doors close. it's silent, and for the first time ever since you were four years old, heeseung feels like a stranger. a polite stranger that presses the elevator button for you, that has come all the way from seoul on a ferry to sing at his estranged best friend's wedding.
except he's not a stranger, and you're the estranged best friend getting married this weekend. you're the estranged best friend who lied about your fiancé being excited for him to sing your first dance song, and you're the estranged best friend who wants it to hurt him. you want it to hurt, seeing you dance with your soon-to-be husband all night, you want it to burn in his chest when the two of you kiss at the end of the aisle.
you want him to ache as badly as you did when he basically abandoned you for no good reason. you want him to stay up all night in tears like you did when he wouldn't answer your calls, you want him to rant passionately about you to whoever gets the privilege of being his girlfriend like you did to jake when the two of you first started dating, and you want him to ignore the questions of if you're in love with each other.
just like you did.
loving heeseung was a thing of the past. he was out of your heart and out of your head, for the most part. you only ever thought of him when you'd talk to jake about old high school stories, skipping over the parts where you and heeseung shared loving caresses that the two of you convinced yourselves were nothing more than platonic. it didn't matter now, though, because there was no piece shaped like you in heeseung's puzzling life anymore.
you love jake. he's your endgame, and you're glad to be marrying him.
"are you excited? big day soon." he says gently, and you can feel your stomach turn as he nudges you with his elbow. you nod, a small smile on your lips as you glance down at your engagement ring. jake had it custom made, a marquise diamond nestled onto a thick gold band. it was a little tight, but you promised yourself you'd get it resized after the wedding.
"very excited. are you nervous? about your performance, i mean?" you ask, genuine concern in your voice as he shakes his head. "just another gig, really. it's special to you, though, so i've been putting my all into the rehearsals." he itches his neck, a nervous tick you'd picked up on through the years. you nod, patting his shoulder gently. the conversation stops as the elevator does, the number five on the elevator's neon sign.
"my stop. i'll see you at the rehearsal dinner tomorrow, right? you need to be there." your eyes are pleading, and heeseung can't help but sigh. "i'll try."
the answer doesn't seem to satisfy you, but you nod anyway, turning on your heels to go to your room. the doors close, and he lets out a shaky breath. you're very excited to marry sim jaeyun in less than thirty-six hours. you're very excited to be mrs. sim, you're very excited to have your first dance with your husband to the sound of your best friend's voice singing the song that reminds you and jake of your relationship.
a song that insinuates the two of you are unbelievably high off each other in every which way, and how ruined one of you has made the other for anybody else. but this song doesn't take into consideration how he is ruined for anyone else, how he is in pieces at the mere thought of you wearing white while meeting someone else down the aisle.
he doesn't want to feel like that anymore.

may 01.
"hey! you must be heeseung, i've been waiting forever to meet you!"
heeseung doesn't recognize the voice as he turns, eyes swollen with sleep when he looks to see you, and who he presumes to be sim jaeyun. he nods absently, before glancing at his cup of hot water. he'd stumbled down to the hotel's complimentary lounge, a packet of fennel mint tea in his hand.
"give me a moment, i'm sorry. i'm barely here." he apologizes sheepishly, tearing the bag open and dipping the bag into the cup. he wipes at his eyes once more, before turning to face a smiling jake. "you're jaeyun, right? nice to finally meet you man, y/n has said some awesome things about you."
lies. heeseung doesn't remember a single thing you have ever said about jake, just that he's a singer. but out of courtesy, and jake's business-like grip on his hand, he smiles through it anyway. "i heard that you asked for me specifically. your wedding song is beautiful." heeseung sees you wince out of the corner of his eye as jake looks a bit taken aback. he tilts his head slightly, but goes along with what heeseung now knows is a lie. "i'm glad you could make it. y/n talks a lot about your singing skills, are you working on any projects right now?" your face is pained as heeseung looks you dead in the eyes, "no, i'm just a backup vocalist. i gave up on that dream a while ago." he looks back at jake, who has a sad smile on his face. "the fame, the money…i was never suited for that life, anyway." "i'm sorry to hear that things didn't work out for you." jake sounds genuine, a flash of sadness in his eyes as he shakes heeseung's hand again. "i hope to see you at the rehearsal tonight. have you got a girlfriend? there'll be quite a few people at our singles' table." jake wiggles his brows and heeseung wonders when you're going to speak.
"actually, heeseung won't be able to stay. he's got another gig on sunday." you lie, and jake's eyes widen. "oh, you'll be missing our reception?" "i'll be leaving right after your dance, i do sincerely apologize." heeseung gives jake a sheepish grin, to which jake nods slowly. "that's unfortunate, there's a lot of people you could network with here! take advantage of it, dreams are meant to become reality." jake finalizes, before giving heeseung another warm smile.
"i will do my best! thank you for having me." heeseung says, and you can feel the fake tone of happiness in his voice seep into your bones. you'd been the only person to ever recognize it, and heeseung knows you're aware he used it as he takes the tea bag out of his mug. "i will see you both tonight."
he spins on his heel as he hears jake whisper to you.
"you asked him to sing our song? when? why didn't you tell me?" "we can talk about this later, okay? he's really good, i promise."
🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊
your mother had been staring at heeseung for the last fifteen minutes, and heeseung was almost sure she was trying to figure out if he was who she thought he was. he gave her a small smile and waved, and the moment her eyes lit up, the person in front of her turned.
jake. he frowns as she walks away from him mid-conversation, stumbling over only moments before the rehearsal dinner is set to start.
"sorry, sweetie. i didn't know you and my y/n finally made up! it's so good to see you!" her embrace is crushing, and heeseung doesn't have the heart to tell your mother that you're a horrible liar. you hadn't 'made up' – he was simply doing you a favor, something else you'd lied about. he just smiles as she pulls back, ruffling his hair gently. "love the red, it really suits you." "thank you, auntie. it's nice to see you again." he remains relaxed as he sees her eyes soften. "what's wrong? not ready to see your little girl walk down the aisle?" he teases, and the older woman sighs inwardly. she turns, her shoulder brushing his as they stare into the room full of tipsy bridesmaids and boisterous groomsmen. "if i admit something to you, you'll keep it quiet, right?" she murmurs, and heeseung suddenly feels like this conversation isn't going to be one that favors his unruly feelings for you. "of course, auntie. who am i to tell?" "i always thought you'd be the one to marry my y/n." she sighs, clasping her hands in front of her as her eyes watch jake speaking to you gently as he hands you a glass of wine. heeseung's eyes follow hers and the two of them can see as your face falls and jake quickly moves to hide you from any lingering gazes. "i should go see what's wrong. it's nice to see you, heeseung. please enjoy the wedding!" he nods as your mother quickly crosses the room, her arm around you as jake gets pushed to entertain the guests while you get taken care of. jake looks nervous, and heeseung can't seem to stop his body as he also crosses the room, a small smile on his face. "good evening, jake." "oh, hey! how are you liking the venue so far?" a small flash of relief passes onto his face, and heeseung feels guilty as he shrugs. "it's what i expected for someone like y/n. so floral, so bright. are you sure you had any part in this?" he snickers, and jake laughs genuinely.
"she wouldn't let me even look at the flowers with her. babe, you're going to pick the wrong ones!" he imitates you, and heeseung shakes his head in amusement. you'd always been a bit of a control freak when it came to your visions, and now that your life revolved around financial decisions, you were wound up extra tight. "yeah, she's always been like that." he sighs, and jake doesn't miss the slight tone of sadness.
"listen, i don't know you very well," jake starts, reaching for a bottle of cabernet across the table. he grabs two glasses, uncorking the wine as he leans to pour. "but i want to say thank you." he holds the wine out to heeseung, and he tries not to look curious as he takes it.
"thank you for what?" heeseung asks, and jake gives him a pointed look as he blindly pours his own glass.
"for taking care of y/n all these years. i know you and i probably won't be the best of friends, i'm the first to admit that i'm not very good at sharing her attention." jake grimaces to himself as he replaces the cork into the bottle. "but i'm glad that she has someone as reliable as you, that can just… be there for her. it's a beautiful thing, your friendship."
heeseung almost feels nauseous as jake continues talking about how sweet your lifelong friendship with him seems. it just confirms that you told jake everything and anything you could about it, and based on his mention of jealousy, that includes the first kiss you shared. he can barely hear jake over the sound of his heart beating in his ears, but understands enough when jake pats his shoulder.
"...and i figured i'd be honest. y/n didn't say anything about you singing our song, we had originally planned for sunghoon to sing it with the band we hired. i guess she thought you'd be better for it, and i trust her judgment." jake says, pulling heeseung back in. "oh, i'm sorry." "don't even worry about it, man. hey, why don't you just relax, enjoy the dinner tonight. tomorrow is going to hit us like a fucking train, we should be well rested today." jake nods, and heeseung reciprocates with a gentle smile as someone else calls for jake's attention. "remember, just chill! network!" jake gestures to the room as he walks backwards towards the people looking for him.
heeseung can't shake the nausea from his throat, setting down the glass of wine to wander to the bathroom. but, the hall seems to get longer and longer, the temperature changing from the cold air conditioning to the humid spring air. he can feel a breeze in his hair, and then he realizes he's on the beach. his feet are buried in the warm sand, shoes in his hand.
sighing, he reminds himself he can't zone out like that all the time. it's not healthy, you had told him once. what if you end up in the middle of nowhere?
he reaches into his pocket, pulled out his spare headphones. he was supposed to bond with everyone at your stupid rehearsal dinner, but he didn't care to do so as he stared at the crashing waves. plugging the headphones into his phone, he gently speaks to siri as he lays on his back, looking up at the cloudless sky.
"hey, siri. play are we still friends? by tyler, the creator."
he stares into the water as the song pours into his ears. he doesn't know where things went to shit, but he knows it's his fault. he should've told you that what you said hurt his feelings. he should have communicated, then maybe it'd be him sitting next you in the private jet your mother rented solely for your honeymoon escape after the reception.
maybe it'd be him spinning you around in your beautiful wedding dress, and whispering sweet nothings in your ear as you dance the night away. maybe it would be him, like your mom had hoped. maybe it would be him, like he had hoped, too.
his fingers dig into the sand as he swallows the lump in his throat. there is nothing in hell, heaven or earth that would stop you from trekking the aisle tomorrow afternoon. nothing would stop jake from kissing you tenderly right in front of him, and doing it for the rest of your lives. it would taunt him, it would haunt him like the ghost of your friendship. you weren't friends anymore, the two of you knew it. things would never be the same between you, and yet, neither of you was brave enough to ask the question.
why?
"heeseung! are you out here?!" he can hear sunghoon's voice over the fourth replay of the song, lowering the volume as he tilts his head to find him. "over here, what's up?" "what's up? they're waiting for you, man!" sunghoon is standing in the doorway of the resort, the soft breeze blowing his hair back as a bridesmaid also peers over his shoulder. heeseung sighs as he stands, wiping his pants of sand and shoving his phone into his pocket. he walks quickly, humming quietly to himself to semi-prepare his voice for the perfect delivery of the song you wanted him to sing.
everyone is chatting quietly around the tables as heeseung steps inside, running his fingers through his hair as he walks forward. your mother catches his eye, a concerned look on her face, but he can't hold eye contact. he faces the floor as he reaches the small stage the venue has set up for the band, jay perched on a stool holding a guitar.
"hey, hee. you ready?" he asks as he tucks in his in-ear monitor, and heeseung shrugs as he takes his place behind the microphone. only then does he notice that the chatter he heard was just two bridesmaids, kim sunoo, riki nishimura and yang jungwon – all friends of yours and jake's that he hadn't bothered to meet further than reading their names in the program.
he watches silently as you and jake take the center of the dance floor, your eyes slightly reddened as you gingerly drape your arms over your fiancé. your smile doesn't fill your cheeks as jay begins playing softly.
heeseung takes a deep breath, and your eyes catch him as he begins to sing.
one touch, and you've got me stoned. higher than i've ever known…
you were both thirteen.
he remembers the way you held onto him the night that you lost your first mathletes competition. you cried so hard that you'd almost thrown up, and heeseung could only soothe you by dragging you to the nearest convenience store and shoving a melona popsicle in your hand. you went silent after that, gripping his hand tightly as he walked you home. you'd squeezed his hand three times that night, something he'd always done but you'd roll your eyes at.
"why would i squeeze your hand when i can just tell you, hee?"
you call the shots and i'll follow. sunrise, but the night's still young…
you were both seventeen.
he remembers when you called him to come over while it was storming, because your mother was out of town. your house was a little over a mile away and normally, he didn't mind the walk. it was almost three in the morning, and he'd been sleeping when your ringtone went off for the third time. "hello?" "hee, please come over. it's storming so bad, i'm so–"
he hadn't even let you finish before ripping his bedsheets off his body and sprinting for the door. his clothes, his shoes, everything was soaking wet by the time he got to your house. you'd embraced him anyway, your own clothes soaking through as he trudged into your home – only for the storm to stop a few moments after his arrival.
no words, but we're speaking tongues. if you let me, i might say too much…
you were both twenty.
he remembers when you asked him, in the middle of your kitchen during your graduation party, if he could kiss you. the house was empty except for the two of you – his parents and your mom had decided to throw a joint party, using the excuse that two best friends should always stick together. your mom had sent you inside for more hor d'oeuvres, and you'd dragged him inside with the excuse that you couldn't carry them all yourself.
"you don't have to, hee. i'm sorry." your eyes were full of embarrassment as heeseung stared at you, a bit in shock at your question. only as you begin to move further into the kitchen does he register what you've said, and grabs your arm, pulling you toward him. "ask me again, i'm sorry. i zoned out, i thought you asked me to kiss you."
"i did." you repeated quietly, and heeseung blinked twice before nodding. "o-okay. yeah, i can do that." he cleared his throat, looking over your shoulder into the foyer to ensure no one was opening the door.
"are you sure? i mean, it's your first kiss, wouldn't you want to have it with someone special?" he's rambling, and your gentle laugh pulls him right back.
"you are special, hee."
without another word, he backed you up against your kitchen counter, his hands on your hips as he softly kissed you. your hands were on his biceps, and he could feel your nervousness seep through your locked lips. he carefully circles your thighs to lift you onto the counter, your arms instinctively wrapping around his neck before he breaks the kiss.
"how was that? okay?" his eyes searched yours, a shy smile playing on his swollen lips as you blinked. "uh, i'm not sure. i think–" "you want to try again?" his head tilted to the side, a habit you loved and eventually also caught. you nodded silently. his smile was wide as he closed the gap between the two of you, the hands on your thighs squeezing softly. once, twice, three times.
i love you.
your touch blurred my vision. it's your world, and i'm just in it…
you're both twenty one.
he remembers how he stared at his bedroom ceiling, clothes soaked in rain from prancing around the city with you. how piercing your words were, how he thought for so long that you believed in him. how all of these events he can't stop thinking about, are about you. how proud he was of you, how lucky he was to have you, how insane it was that you wanted him. you wanted him at one point.
how he didn't care that he got sick, but certainly didn't understand why your sore throat and stuffy nose didn't make him feel a pang of distress. how he didn't care that no one else was refuting his talent, because they weren't you. he didn't care about anyone else in this world, but you.
even sober, i'm not thinking straight…
you're both twenty two.
he remembers his birthday going abhorrently wrong. you weren't there, per usual – you were too wrapped up with school to give heeseung a second thought. he'd long realized that he didn't want to lose you, but it seemed that you no longer cared to keep the friendship alive. he still has the messages he sent you, and is still amazed at the lack of typos despite being absolutely shitfaced.
message to: my y/n <3 [2022.10.15 | 11:23pm] it's my birthday, baby. [2022.10.15 | 11:24pm] you can't be here for me today? [2022.10.15 | 11:24pm] i miss you. i miss our friendship. [2022.10.15 | 11:26pm] i can't believe you're missing my birthday. i never miss your birthdays. [2022.10.15 | 11:30pm] is this it? are we done? [2022.10.15 | 11:34pm] when will you come back to me? when, how much longer? [2022.10.15 | 11:35pm] when you graduate? i can wait. (not delivered!) [2022.10.15 | 11:47pm] just tell me how long. i'll wait. (not delivered!)[2022.10.16 | 12:02am] i'd wait forever for you (not delivered!)
he changed his number after that. he still doesn't know how you got his new one. he doesn't care to ask, either.
cause i'm off my face, in love with you…
you're both twenty five.
he's watching you slow dance with your fiancé, fingers interlaced behind his neck as jake's hands rest on your hips. he hates the jealousy that boils in his stomach, but doesn't bother to break eye contact with the tile on the ceiling with water damage.
i'm out my head, so into you…
he can feel his fingers tightening around the microphone stand, but can't seem to stop his eyes from averting as jake spins you gently, before your soft giggle hits his ears. you look up at jake with what he can only assume is adoration, before resting your cheek on his shoulder. you're looking right at heeseung, mouthing along to the song.
and i don't know how you do it…
you're fixing your posture instead, still staring at heeseung as jake takes your hand in his, kissing your knuckles. you instinctively smile at the feeling, and heeseung's eyes zero in on your fingers as you squeeze jake's hand.
once, twice, three times. i love you.
but i'm forever ruined by you, ooh, ooh, ooh.
"i love you." your eyes haven't left heeseung as you whisper the words, and you can see the way his eyes fill with fire as he looks away. you get a twisted feeling of satisfaction in your gut, before finally averting your eyes back to your fiancé. jake is smiling softly at you, and you quickly close the gap between you as heeseung continues to sing. your lips press against jake's smoothly, before he swiftly moves away. "i can't wait to marry you tomorrow." he whispers.
"me, too."
liar.

may 02.
the wedding is in twenty minutes.
your pantyhose has ripped, you tripped going up the stairs. you're not even wearing your dress yet. there are storm clouds gathering, and you can’t help but feel like everything in the universe is working against you. the only thing holding you together is your mother, her arms are wrapped tightly around you.
“are you sure we can’t just run away and elope?” you mumble into her shoulder, and your mother laughs. “not anymore. but,” she pulls away from you, cradling your face in her hands gently. “i love you, honey. everything will be okay.”
you hate the churn in your stomach at the word everything. because if everything were okay, it'd be sunny. if everything were okay, you'd be staring down an aisle full of people and only see heeseung at the end of it. if everything were okay, you would've never said yes to that first date.
“i love you.” you repeat, your hand resting on her wrists as you nod robotically. “i’ll see you out there, okay?”
“okay.” you breathe out shakily as she presses her lips to your hairline, lingering slightly before pulling away and leaving your room. you were alone now, and you glanced out the window at all the guests gathering on the beach. everyone is dressed so brightly, bunches of pinks and lilacs scattered across the sand. jake is waiting patiently at the end of the aisle, the forest green of his suit making his skin glow slightly brighter. how he does it, you don't know.
and then you see heeseung.
he’s dressed in black, despite the theme of the wedding being floral and natural. you grimace, forcing yourself to look away before spotting your dress hanging on the back of the door. you'd have to shimmy into it on your own, having sent everyone out in a fit of anxiety.
sighing, you unhook the heavy dress from the door, carefully letting the skirt pool on the floor as you step into it. it slides on perfectly, and you can't help but lose your breath at the sudden weight of the world on your chest. you're getting married, and you love jake.
but he'll never, ever be heeseung.
"tighten up, y/n. you've got this." you shake your head, reaching back and forcing the zipper up as high as you could. you had a hook-and-eye closure at the top, something you'd simply have to forego if you wanted to make it downstairs on time. groaning to yourself, you attempt to pull up the zipper just a bit more, before giving up and covering it with your veil. grabbing your bouquet, you give yourself a final glance in the mirror.
"you've got this. everything will be okay."
your voice is shaky, but you swing your room door open anyway – only to be met with heeseung on the other side. his eyes widen, mouth slightly agape as you come into his view. "wow, you look…" "what are you doing here? you're supposed to be downstairs." you scold, shoving your keycard into the pocket of your dress. oh yeah, you've got it like that. "your mom asked me to come see what was taking so long. i told her you'd be down soon, but she insisted." he shrugs, so nonchalantly.
like none of this is eating away at him.
"ugh, whatever. come on." your tone is angry, but your face shows nothing but fear. his eyes follow as you storm towards the elevator, seeing the zipper of your dress slowly sliding down as you reach the doors. "here, hold on."
his fingers move your veil carefully as you step into the elevator, before pulling the fabric tighter together and pulling the zipper to the top. he carefully clasps the closure, and you swear you feel every hair on your body sticking up when his fingertips gently graze your back. "don't touch me, heeseung."
"i'm trying to help you. otherwise, you'd flash that entire crowd." he scoffs, pressing the floor button. you sigh, wrapping your arms around yourself as the elevator becomes silent. the tension is thick between you, you know it. your eyes never leave the neon sign, watching the floor numbers go by before heeseung reaches over and pulls the emergency lever.
"what the fuck are you doing?! i'm already late!" you gasp, hitting his arm with your bouquet when he stands in front of the lever. "i can't let you do this unless you hear what i have to say."
"heeseung, i'm getting married. this is the biggest day of my life–" your whining is cut short by his hand on your mouth, and only then do you see the unshed tears in his eyes. "the biggest day of my life was when i met you on that stupid playground. i never, ever in my life thought our friendship would end this way, and you know what, it makes me kind of sick."
he breathes deeply, removing his hand from your face as he sees the shock in your eyes. "you're saying you're already late to your big day, well i just want to say i beat you in that department. i've never had a problem with punctuality, but i really missed the mark on this one." his chuckle is dry, humorless as he looks at the bouquet in your hand. "i don't think i'll get over this, ever. i'll never get the chance to be in his place. but," he steps back, fingers gripping the emergency lever in his hand.
"i want you to know that it should be me. i should be the one waiting for you at the end of the aisle. i should be the one who gets to love you until the end of my days, and even then, you'd never die. you'd be loved by me forever, the evidence strewn all over the world in compositions and lyrics. i would never let you die."
he pushes the lever back, before moving back to his original spot next to you. the elevator doors open, revealing an empty lobby. the storm clouds are no longer that far away, and you can feel the humidity through the open plan of the resort.
"i am foolishly, hopelessly, irrevocably in love with you. and i hope you realize this is the biggest mistake of your life." his voice is soft, as is his smile when he offers his hand. "here's to your forever, my love."
you say nothing.
🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊
if heeseung was anything, it was a sick bastard. a sick, rat bastard who had no shame. your mother took you from his arm at the end of the aisle, and you didn't even realize you'd allowed him to lead you there. jake's eyes shone with what could only be identified as jealousy.
he smiled the entire ceremony, clapping and whistling alongside your other guests through the vows. the sappy vows jake had penned were poetic compared to yours, but he knew what you meant anyway. you felt several fat raindrops plop onto your head and shoulders, while heeseung had come prepared and shared his umbrella with your mother.
he even helped her inside once the rain really started pouring, just after your first kiss as a married couple. your stomach was boiling over in fury as you watched him laugh with her, his eyes only meeting yours once with a soft smile.
you and jake slipped away to change into your reception clothing, his suit jacket abandoned and sleeves rolled up, showing off the watch you got him for his birthday. your ballroom white dress, now stained with sand, was traded in for an a-line style. jake met you in front of the resort, his fingers curled in yours when he finally spoke.
"we really did it, huh." he says quietly, his eyes scanning the shut doors of the reception venue. you nod, your breath caught in your throat when he takes a step back, his hand squeezing yours. "two years." your ears twitch at this. "what?" "all i ask for is two years. we can have a kid. we'll have an heir to our wills. we can get divorced after two years, and you can be with him." he breathes, eyes following the pattern on the heavy wooden door. you choke out a scoff of disbelief, your throat burning. "what the fuck are you talking about, jaeyun?" he winces at the use of his name, so used to gentle baby and sweetened honey. a sigh escapes his lips as he turns to face you. "i know you love him, y/n. you don't have to hide it from me. you wouldn't have brought him all the way out here, you wouldn't have gone behind my back and changed the plans for the band. your mom loves him, for crying out loud. i never stood a chance." he chuckles sadly, and your tears are hot as they flow down your face.
"how can you say that, jaeyun? i'm married to you, i've chosen you, over anything and anyone in this world! how can you say such things?!" your hurt is evident, but he can't figure out if it's because of the little blame game or if it's because you truly, deeply love him. he doesn't know what to say, but reaches to wipe your tears. you jerk away, a frown etched on your glossed lips as you wipe them yourself. you take a deep breath, grabbing the door knob.
"fix your face." you mutter, a tone jake had never received from you as he sighed, painting a smile of everything's okay on his face as the two of you threw the doors open in unison. your crowd of guests cheered loudly, rice flying everywhere as they welcomed you in. the band was loudly playing got to be real by cheryl lynn, and you almost forget jake's painful words behind the door. you almost forget that heeseung will be queueing up to sing for you and your husband, for free, on the very stage you're now standing in front of.
jungwon hands you a microphone and two champagne flutes, before slinking away to his seat. you hand one to jake, who swirls it nervously.
"wow, it's such an honor to have all of our loved ones here today." your voice is shaky as you take them all in, dozens of eyes staring you down. "i mean, i've waited for this day since i was a little girl. it's a blessing to finally see it in color, in person. thank you." jake breathes in deeply, before looking away to blink back tears. "i'm not crying, my eyes are just sweating." he speaks into the microphone, earning an empathetic laugh from the guests, your hand ghosts over his back, and he stiffens at it. "i'm so…so terribly in love with y/n. i can't believe this day is real." a soft aww echoes in the room, your chest tightening as you see heeseung sitting next to your mother. he's cooing with everyone else. "and i can't wait to be a man that is continuously worthy of her love. to y/n."
you almost burst into tears as everyone raises their drinks to you, the clink of glasses adding to the emotion as you and jake find your seats at the end of the hall. you sit gingerly, holding jake's hand under the table tightly. "i love you, jake." "i love you, y/n."
🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊
the speeches were a mess. jay was a mess of tears, and minjeong spewed bullshit about the two of you being like sisters. heeseung hadn't met her until five minutes after the ceremony, and if you had been close to anyone enough to consider them a sibling, he'd know them. no one knew you like he did.
"and now, for the newlyweds' first dance! we have a very special guest singing for us today, please give a warm welcome and round of applause to y/n's longest friend, lee heeseung!"
he smiled nervously as he took the stage, a puffy-eyed jay sitting behind him as he tested the microphone. "thank you for having me, and congratulations to the newlyweds. y/n, i'm eternally proud of you and so grateful to be here on your special day. i love you." none of the guests know it means something more to him, to you, as they let out an aww. how heartwarming, that your lifelong best friend was here for you. how lovely, that he was supporting you every step of the way.
he sang carefully, watching as you and jake held each other tightly, swaying to the song. he can hear your sniffle, a soft sob into jake's shoulder as he lovingly strokes your back. he looks away.
it should be him.
it should be heeseung, that gets to see you wear white. it should be heeseung, that gets to plan a tedious wedding at your instruction. it should be heeseung that gets to take you on a romantic honeymoon and spend all day in the sun and all night glued to your bed. it should be heeseung that gets to shampoo your hair for you when you're feeling too tired, it should be heeseung that gets to watch you put lipstick on in the morning just to ruin it before you're out the door.
it should be him. and everyone knows it, no matter if they know your history or not.
"thank you, everyone. let's hear it for the newlyweds!"

october 15.
"hey."
it's been over a year since your wedding. you and jake had happily posted tons of wedding photos, piled over with honeymoon flicks. you and heeseung hadn't spoken since the wedding. he left right after the first dance, catching the first ferry back to seoul. he didn't bother contacting you to see if you'd made it back safely, he didn't bother to message you a happy birthday when it came around. he just didn't care.
he dropped out of college for the second time, and spent the summer going around seoul auditioning for companies. decelis entertainment finally gave him a break, and only after he got his contract did he find out that jake and all of his friends were also at this company.
he was polite in the hallways. he smiled, he waved, he engaged in small talk and perused the past. he didn't ask questions, he didn't initiate. he spent his time holed away in the studio with a producer named yeonjun, recording for hours on end without a break. he was set to debut in two weeks, having dropped his first teaser just two days prior.
all without you to cheer him on.
"what are you doing here?" his voice was cold, nothing you weren't used to at this point. his hair wasn't red anymore, now a natural chocolate brown. it suited him. "came to visit, heard from jake that you've been training for a year." "what's it to you?"
he's being harsh, he knows he's being harsh.
"hey, y/n. nice to see you." jake calls from across the hall, exiting his studio with jay and sunghoon in tow. the two of them seem to say nothing at the sudden casualties between you and jake, or the insinuation that he hadn't seen you in a while. heeseung gives you a glance, your hands holding a gift and a grocery bag. "may i come in?" "i'm busy, at the moment." he coughs, ignoring the way your eyes roll. "too busy for a slice of cake?" you hold up a bag in your fingers, and his eyes narrow. he leans back into the studio, his eyes scanning the calendar for any potential special dates. he's not even flipped to the right month, the calendar reading july.
"shit, did i miss something?" he whips out his phone, which you simply cover with your hand. a soft laugh escapes your lips as you lift your other hand, the gift bag screaming happy birthday in gold glitter flashing at him. "oh, man." he moves away from the door, allowing you to walk in. you look around, and although the studio doesn't belong to him, it sure smells like him. it looks like him, it's covered in him, it feels like home.
"happy birthday, hee." you say gently, setting the gift down on the couch and slowly sitting down to unwrap his cake. "i know it's not much, but i'm barely here." you chuckle, tapping your temple as he takes a seat in his desk chair. he's wary, you can tell.
"something on your mind?" "why are you here? i debut in two weeks, i don't need any bullshit." he rubs his temples, and you only frown. "you know, once upon a time, you would've been happy to have me here." your tone is pointed, and heeseung sighs. "fine, fine. i'm sorry."
"i'm the one who should be sorry." you murmur, and heeseung says nothing. he knows you're right.
you're both quiet, before heeseung notices the candle next to the cake. he rolls the chair over, his fingers carefully centering the candle. "have you got a light?"
you shake your head no, a sheepish look in your eyes. "i'm sorry. we can pretend, if that's okay?" he hates the way his lips twitch into a smile at your wide eyes. "yeah, we can pretend."
you sing for him softly, your cheek squished into your hand as you lean on the armrest. he closes his eyes, making a wish and blowing the makeshift flame out. "what'd you wish for?" you yawn, and he shakes his head.
"won't come true if i tell you." shrugging, he rolls back over to his desk, leaving the cake on the table. you just make a noise of agreement, before a sigh slips past you. "i heard your teaser, you know." he doesn't care to react, only giving you a short sound. "mhm?" "is it about me?" you ask, and he straightens in his chair before spinning around to face you. "all my songs are about you. every single one of them." he gestures to a tattered journal on the soundboard. it's covered in stickers, and…a taped photo of you and him as toddlers. "oh."
"i mean what i say, y/n." he rolls his eyes, before spinning back around. "if it were me, i'd never let you die."
but it is you, you think. it's always been you.
"why did jake say it was nice to see you?" he asks, too cowardly to look you in the eyes. he hears your sigh, before hearing you shift around on the couch. he spins around again, only to see you have removed your shoes and tucked your legs beneath you. his eyes scan you, before looking at your fingers. your ring is gone, replaced by a chunky painite stone in silver. your eyes are gently burning into him, and he shivers in the warmth. "well…why?" "before the reception, he told me he knew." you shrug, "he knew how you felt about me, and how i allegedly felt about you. he brought up my mother, and how he felt like he'd never stood a chance."
"but he did. you married him, after all." heeseung rolls his eyes as you shrug, blinking slowly as you speak again. "we gave it a good shot. maybe i should've listened to all those superstitions, they're not such bullshit. the tripping, the rain, god, the way my ring was too tight." you scoff sadly, before glancing back up at him.
he seems to understand. if he doesn't, he doesn't say anything. sighing, you reach over to rustle the gift bag with your fingers. "you've got to open this, you know."
"y/n, i can't do this." he breathes out, eyes screwed shut. "i can't sit here with you and pretend like we're all good, like you're not married to the same guy i share a company with. we stopped being friends a long time ago, what are you trying to do here?" "i'm not trying to do anything but reconnect. i fully accepted the fact that whether or not you're with me, you're still someone i love. i spent years trying to figure out why you drifted away from me, and then jake and i sat down at our dinner table a few weeks ago after meeting with the lawyer and he asked me about our friendship. so i told him everything, from the very beginning."
heeseung can't breathe as you get up, walking towards him and slowly sinking into a squat. your hands are on his knees, giving a gentle squeeze before you speak.
"i'm sorry i made it seem like i had no faith in you. i said horrible things to you, even if they seemed right to me, and i'm so sorry that it took someone else to tell me that i'd treated you so badly that day."
his eyes are brimming with tears, but he looks away from you. he can't cry, not now, not in front of you.
"you've always been like that, though." he murmurs, picking at his cuticles when you carefully take his hands in yours. he suppresses a sob as the warmth of you envelopes his fingers, "i was projecting. i thought that everyone had to be like me, that everyone had to have a plan. some people are just better at flying by the seat of their pants, i mean, look at all you've accomplished despite me saying such shitty things to you. you're about to debut, you're going to see great success. everyday i'm rooting for you, even if i'm not the person you go home to."
you give his hands a firm squeeze. once, twice, three times. i love you.
"are you divorced?"
you scoff out a soft laugh, looking down at his jeans. "jake and i haven't been together since the wedding. we spent the honeymoon playing mermaids and crying over whiskey sours."
"i can't forgive you right now." he confesses, making your head snap up to look at him. he swallows hard, "i can't forgive you right now, because i'm still mad at you. for saying those things to me, and…and you hurt me, when you asked me to sing for your wedding. it hurt me a lot, y/n." "i'm sorry, hee." you whisper, your thumbs wipe at the tears spilling from his eyes. he leans into your touch, before pulling away. "i know you are, y/n. i know."
he gently pushes away, offering his hand to help you up. you take it, and he waits for you to put your shoes on before leading you back to the door. "i'll call you, okay? when i'm ready."
you step out of the studio, peering up at him with sad eyes. "you promise?"
he sighs, nodding his head. "i promise, baby."

BABEYUN © 2024. no translations, reposting or modifications are allowed. do not claim as your own. viewer discretion is advised. your media consumption is your responsibility.
#enhypen#enhypen x reader#enha x reader#enhypen angst#enha fluff#heeseung x reader#heeseung angst#heeseung x you#lee heeseung x reader#heeseung imagine#heeseung fic#enhypen fic#enhypen series#heeseung teaser#enhypen soft hours#enhypen fanfiction#enhypen imagines#enhypen heeseung#heeseung#enha#lee heeseung#enhypen scenarios#kpop imagines#kpop scenarios#kpop fanfic#kvanity#svnet
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"Yes, my mom is a witch. Yes, my birth parents sold me to her. No, I do not hate her. She treats me like I'm her own son. Does that answer all your questions?"
Tim asked with crossed arms. Batman and his family recently discovered you, his witch mum, and now refuse to let it go. They've been badgering him all day.
"How does that work? How did Bruce adopt you if you already have a family?"
Dick was so confused. How did Tim hide you for so long? How did he sneak out when he lives with a family of detectives? Tim merely sighed and explained,
"My mom told me it's okay. She said I'm magically hers, so a sheet of paper means nothing. She knew my path would always lead me here, so she didn't stop me. She trusts that I will make good decisions for myself."
You had kissed his forehead that day and gave him a hug before telling him he's always your baby and you want him to follow the path he forges for himself.
"Can we meet her?"
Dick asked. He wanted to know more about Tim's secret mother figure. Why did Tim keep you from them?
Tim paused. He didn't know how good of an idea that would be. He loved you dearly, but you are introverted like him. He wouldn't want to meet the family, especially with how huge it got over the years, so why would you want to meet them? Tim conceded,
"I'll ask her, but she would have to come here. Her home is impossible to break into with all the wards and all the magic she poured into our home -- that's irrelevant. I'll ask if she wants to come over. Don't be surprised if she popped in during dinner."
With all that said, Tim was out the door, leaving the family with millions of questions. They knew they wouldn't be able to trail Tim without him knowing. You seemed impossible to reach anyway.
You seemed to ponder Tim's request for what feels like forever. You love your solitude, but you decided that you love Tim more. You asked him seriously,
"Do you want me to go or are they forcing you to ask?"
Tim considered his feelings for a moment. Does he want to keep you selfishly to himself, or does he want to share? He's not sure. He's positive you would hit it off with Bruce, and that might lead to you joining the family and eventually tying him to them permanently. He admits,
"I'm not sure. You'd love them, but I don't trust that you'll be treated with the respect you deserve."
Your gaze softened and you lightly kissed his cheek. You told him,
"Little dove, you do not have to force me on the family if you don't want to. I love you and you are the only one to make this decision."
He didn't like that you turned the decision onto him, but he should have expected as much. You hated making decisions. He decided after a couple of minutes,
"I... I want you to meet them."
You took his hand in yours and teleported both of you into the manor. Tim hugged you tightly the entire time it took to teleport. He loved you, but teleporting sucks to experience. It feels like reality itself warped like one of the circus mirrors and suddenly poof.
You're standing in the middle of dinner, like he told them you would do. Tim's hand was still in yours as you looked through the room. Your eyes finally landed on Alfred, and you walked over to him.
"Well, it's lovely to meet you. You must be Bruce."
You took Alfred's hand in yours and shook it with a kind smile. The kids all snickered at the offended Bruce. It's partially true that Alfred is a father figure, but ouch.
"Miss, master Bruce is at the head of the table."
You didn't seem embarrassed at all as you walked to Bruce with Tim trailing behind you.
"I'm sorry about my abrupt entrance. It's good to meet the part-time father to my little dove."
Bruce watched you carefully. You seem like a nice person. No wonder Tim turned out so kind.
You sat down with Tim on one side and Dick on the other side. You took a deep breath before saying,
"Ask your questions."
Tim gave you a shocked look. You evaded questions like the plague. Why is it so different now?
Well, it's different because your Timmy cares about them, and they would obviously have a lot more personal questions than questions from a stranger.
"How did you meet Tim?"
Dick asked at your side. You smiled and looked at Tim with soft eyes. You delved into the story,
"He must have been two or three when his parents found me in the forest outside my house. Everybody knows about the witch in the woods who grants wishes for a price."
You sighed. You hate your reputation, but there's nothing you can do about it. You continued,
"A couple appeared with a toddler. I originally thought they would ask for an illness to go away in their child, but instead they offered the toddler holding his mother's hand in exchange for riches."
You frowned. Tim knew you always get upset by the story and wrapped an arm around you protectively.
"I thought to myself. 'Why would anyone offer me their child?' But, I ultimately decided he would be better off with me, so I accepted. I took tiny Tim in my arms, and he melted into my arms. It seemed like he had never been hugged before me, and it broke my heart. The magical contract was signed, and the couple walked off child-free and rich."
All eyes turned to Tim. He told them a different story of his childhood, but what did they expect? For him to disclose, his parents abandoned him to a witch and subsequently was raised by said witch? Sure, there are crazier backstories, but that would look terrible from any angle. It would look like a kidnapping when it was really more like saving. You saved Tim from the pain of growing up in a loveless home. You save him from the pain of cold isolation. You raised him, praised him, and adored him. He was your child, no matter the DNA.
You didn't even want kids until Tim was in your arms. You became the mother all children deserve to have regardless of your lack of desire for children.
The story seemed to satisfy most of their major questions. Jason eventually asked,
"Why did you let him join us?"
You smiled and ruffled Tim's hair affectionately, who grumbled in a very disgruntled tone.
"This one loved Batman, and he thought he needed a Robin. I told him to follow his own path. He'll always be my son, both magically and in our hearts."
Bruce was beginning to like you. However, they were all a bit salty about the fact that none of them have a mother. Dick grinned and elbowed Bruce.
"That just means you have to give us a mother to make it even. Tim can't be the only one with a mom."
You laughed, but Tim looked like he was contemplating bringing you into a relationship with Bruce. Bruce asked,
"Would the magic transfer if you got married?"
You shook your head. You decided to be kind and elaborated,
"Tim is strictly mine for as long as I live according to the signed contract I made with his original parents."
Bruce didn't like that Tim isn't his son and never will be. You gave a contemplating hum. Technically, there is a way, but it would never happen. You weren't very interested in the second option. Still, you told him,
"Unless we married magically. Then we are tied together, and that means Tim would be tied to my husband indirectly. He would still have no real authority, but he'd have a small claim over him."
That caught Bruce's attention. He has a chance to keep Tim more permanently. He asked,
"What does it mean to marry magically? What's the difference?"
You quirked an eyebrow at him. Why was he so curious? You didn't have plans to marry. Then again, you didn't plan to have a child either. Sure, you've helped a few people with their fertility issues, but it was a joke to ask for their firstborn.
"We sign a contract that would tie our souls together. We could sign a legal document as well, but the magical contract must be signed for the claim to settle."
Tim whispered in your ear soft enough for only you to hear,
"Mom, will you marry Bruce? I want to be his son."
You straightened in your chair. You were startled by the request and asked back equally quietly,
"Are you sure? This is your soul, Tim, not just some flimsy legal document."
Tim nodded. He already figured he'd be part of the family, but he wanted to make it more permanent.
"I'm sure, mom."
You sighed softly in your spot. You were so weak for your Tim. You'd give anything to make him happy. You frowned before conceding,
"If you can convince him."
Tim kissed your forehead gratefully and began negotiating with Bruce and feeling out the situation. Dick took your hand in his and said to you light-heartedly,
"I'm gaining a mom after all."
And that is how the Batfamily gained Batmom. What a mess.
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heyyy!!
Could you write something about pau cubarsi x reader? Maybe pau pranking his mom/ aiste, asking if he could bring another girl over who isn’t reader!🫶🏼
✮ Mischief - Pau Cubarsí



pau cubarsi x fem!reader
sy: as you and your boyfriend recreate a tiktok trend.
a/n: if you ever see the ** i sometimes accidentally leave on the words.. no u dont.
warnings: nopppe.
you and your boyfriend had come across a recent trend: the clichè joke about pranking your mother about bringing another girl over.
as two minds think alike, you both were sprawled out on his bed, giving eachother small grins and laughs.
“right, so you know what to do,” he instructed, hovering over his moms contact. you nodded, leaving a small peck in his cheek.
pau swiftly clicked the green icon, in which his mom answered within a heartbeat.
“hola mamá,” pau started, tone highlighted with false innocence. his spanish accent thickened slightly when he got nervous.
“hola hijo, i haven’t heard from you in ages! ¿cómo estás?” (how are you?) she replied finely.
“i’m good, im good… but i wanted to ask you something actually.” he gulped, already stifling a laugh.
you were no better than him, pressing your sleeve over your mouth to mask out your snickers.
“i was wondering… would it be okay if i brought someone over when i come back home?”
“of course,” she responded, “you know you’re always welcome to bring friends home. who is he?”
pau bit his tongue to stay silent, whereas you were grinning ear to ear; biting on your nails.
“well,” he paused, rubbing the back of his neck. “it’s um- this girl i’ve been seeing. she’s really great mamá, i think you’d love her.”
his head tilted back on the pillow, squeezing his eyes shut in attempt to not burst out laughing.
“¿una chica?” she repeated defensively. “who’s she? do you mean y/n?”
“no, no not y/n. i met her after the barbastro match, she’s a huge fan.”
an awkward silence followed. you could feel the tension building on the other end of the line, almost like watching a car crash slowly unfold.
“a fan?” she scoffed as you could practically hear her roll her eyes. “what nonsense are you telling me now?!”
her tone had shifted, the warmth from earlier quickly evaporating, replaced with a thin line between anger and denial. “you’re joking, right?” she added, as if hoping he would say yes.
“mamá calm down, she’s really funny an-”
“no pau! i don’t wanna hear it! wait till you come home,” she exclaimed furiously, as her steps trailed off somewhere on the line.
a few background murmurs came into earshot, one that you could recognise as irene, pau’s sister.
“have you heard about this?” his mom hissed, trying to keep it on low. “what nonsense your brother is telling me?”
“¿que no?” the girl inquired, confused.
“well! apparently he’s wants to introduce this girl to us next weekend when he’s back… which is not y-”
“hermano?!” irene squeaked, the shrill noise ringing in your ear. the phone had seemingly been taken from his mother, now to her own control.
“don’t even bother coming back! what do you mean it’s not y/n?! does she know about this?”
pau subtly cleared his throat, glancing back at you with a smirk. he held the phone further from his chest as if the next part might be just too much to handle.
“no, no.. she doesn’t. she doesn’t need to know.”
pau’s mom’s voice returned, but it had shifted into full-on disbelief. “you’re not serious right now, are you?” she demanded, her tone growing sharper. “she can’t not know! y/n’s been around forever!”
the reality of her words sunk in, making your chest full of adoration as she expressed how much she really cherished you. “but either way im not letting you in my house with some random girl.”
you and pau exchanged looks, trying to suppress your laughter as the situation spiraled.
“trust me mamá, she’s really cool. she loves cooking as much as you do! i figured you guys could bond over it and you’ll realise how fun she is.”
“no! no way!” she declined it already. “do you really think i’m just gonna accept that? are you out of your mind?”
“well.. no of course not. but really, she’s-”
“i don’t wanna hear it pau!” she cuts him off again, and you can’t help but smother your face with a cushion to drown out your laughs.
“this is ridiculous son, what do you want me to do—pretend this is normal? you can’t seriously believe i’d let another random girl into our family when y/n is part of it!” she continues, almost threateningly.
“if i ever catch you with her, i promise you i’ll-”
“mamá, it’s a joke!" pau’s resolve cracked, his voice rushing to clarify. “it’s just a prank! there is no other girl. i swear, it’s just a joke between me and y/n!”
“a joke?” she questioned, voice dripping with incredulity.
“sí! it’s just a joke!” he repeated urgently. “y/n knows about it. we were messing around. she’s right next to me.”
you stepped in at this point, taking the phone from pau’s hand with a smile. “ms cubarsí?”
his mom paused, her voice softened, though you could hear the lingering edge. “y/n? is that really you?”
“yeah it’s really me ms,” you responded almost cheerily, wiping the tears from your eyes.
the other side fell silent, her sigh of relief so heavy that it managed to echo from the line. “¡dios mío!”
“you two! i can’t believe you both right now,” she grumbled wearily. on the other hand, you were both still trying to contain the your remaining giggles.
pau leaned in closer to the phone, “we’re sorry mamí, we couldn’t resist.”
“you almost have her a heart attack pau,” irene chimed in with a playful edge to her voice, “i was about to start packing your things!”
“you’d give up on me that easy? tough crowd.” he quipped, pushing the phone a little further out. “they may just like you more than me.”
you click your tongue with a smile, as you hear his mom pipe up once again. she came back with a lighter tone, albeit still sharp enough to keep him tense. “do you know how close i was on calling your father? in fact, i still could.”
pau’s eyes widened, panic flashing over his features. “mamí no please don’t—”
irene piped up again, giggling. “honestly, y/n, i thought mamí was going to ground me for a second.”
pau shook his head, ushering one last final laugh.
you nudged him with your elbow, shooting him a grin. “you should of seen your face. ‘mamí no please don’t…’ you mimicked.
“ey, i was saving us both.” he protested, pulling you into his side.
his mom sighed again, the sound of creaking doors and shuffling footsteps filtering through the line. “ineed to lie down now, calm my heart-rate," she muttered, half in jest.
you smiled into the phone, feeling the warmth and relief radiate from her words. “we’re really sorry," you offered sweetly.
“i’ll forgive you both… eventually,” she replied, a smile evident in her tone. “but next time, think twice before pulling such stunts!"
with that, she hung up, leaving you and pau to collapse into each other, the remnants of laughter filling the room.
“you’re lucky she loves you," pau whispered, kissing the top of your head.
“and you," you teased back, “are lucky you have me to help bail you out.”
you subconsciously curled into his side, keeping your head propped up by his shoulder as his arm tightened around you, “im always lucky to have you.”
#football#fanfic#fluff#football fic#fc barcelona#fluff fic#football imagine#pau cubarsi fan fic#pau cubarsi x y/n#pau cubarsi x you#pau cubarsi fluff#pau cubarsi fic#pau cubarsi x yn#pau cubarsi fanfic#pau cubarsi x reader#pau cubarsi#pau cubarsí x reader#pau cubarsi imagine#cubarsi x reader#cubarsi fluff#cubarsi x you#cubarsi x y/n#cubarsi fic#cubarsi fanfic#footballer x you#footballer x reader#footballer oneshot#footballer imagine#football fluff#footballer x y/n
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Taking Care
Sebastian (SDV) x Reader
A/N: I recently got back into Stardew Valley with the 1.6 update and got this dialogue with Sebastian, which gave me many ideas lol. I may end up writing a part 2 to this or just edit this post to add more
Another A/N: Okay, I totally did edit this to add more, and I think I'm going to do it again at some point lol
Last A/N: I did do it again lol, but now I think I've used all my ideas for this story
"What?! Are you kidding me?" You whisper shout, trying to keep Robin from hearing you.
Who knows what she would do if she found out Sebastian went into the caves alone. To be fair, you were about to knock him upside the head when you saw the gash on his arm.
It was gross, to say the least. It traveled up his forearm, the edges where his skin was split looked wilted, and you were surprised you couldn't see bone with how deep it was. Again, it was pretty gnarly.
"Sebastian, that needs to be taken care of; if you get an infection, you could lose your arm."
"That's a bit overdramatic," Sebastian says, "besides, I can't go see Harvey, he'd tell my mom for sure."
"Fine, then I'm going to take care of it."
You don't wait for his protest, grabbing his other arm and leading him to the couch in his room. Luckily for him, you were just on your way to the mines, so you had first aid supplies on hand.
First, you doused the wound with a life elixir, which stung based on the hiss Sebastian let out. Though already his skin was starting to close back together, the wonders of the Valley magic.
"I can't believe you went in there-"
"Hey, I have every right to go in there, same as you." He snapped, cutting you off.
You looked up and saw the harsh glare he was throwing your way, which you were happy to return as you continued...
"Slow down, hot shot. If you'd let me finish, I was going to say, 'I can't believe you went in there without a weapon.'"
"Oh," He mumbles, his eyebrows softening and his lips frowning, "Sorry, I guess I just didn't want a lecture."
"Well, you deserve one," you remark, "but now isn't the time."
"I lost my mace, but I didn't think it would be a big deal to go into the higher levels."
You sigh while grabbing gauze and a bandage to wrap around his arm. Gently, you take his arm in your hands and begin covering the wound.
Sebastian can feel goosebumps rising as he feels your surprisingly soft hands take care of him. He doesn't want to admit it to you yet, but it feels nice to have you there with him, worried about his well-being.
You finish wrapping his arm and look up to see him already gazing down at you. He almost seems to be in a trance, and you can feel yourself following along. Who knows how long you two spend looking at each other, wondering what will come next.
Taking a chance, you cup his hand in yours, drawing circles with your thumb. Slowly, your other hand travels up towards his face. Sebastian lets out a shaky breath and closes his eyes, ready for anything.
However, before you can make contact, Robin calls for Sebastian from the stairs, breaking the moment. His eyes snap open and you both jolt away, trying to come back to the present moment.
Quickly, Sebastian pulls his sweatshirt sleeve over the bandaged wound and calls back to his mother, telling her he'll be right there. You both emerge from his room, much to Robin's surprise.
"Oh! I'm sorry, I didn't realize you had company." She says, noticing the blush coating yours and Sebastian's face. You can tell she's trying to keep the teasing smile from showing, though she thankfully doesn't ask questions.
"It's alright, I was just leaving anyways." You say hastily, waving goodbye to them both before booking it out of the building.
Before the door closes, you can hear a faint mumble from Robin. Sebastian, in a much louder fashion, tells her to keep her voice down, and you swear you hear him say something akin to "not yet."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It's been 2 days since you last saw Sebastian, but now it's Friday, and you couldn't miss the weekly hangout with Sam and Abigail. Of course, it's not like you were avoiding Sebastian, but you also weren't sure how to act around him right now.
Usually, you would share everything with Abigail, but you had promised Sebastian that you wouldn't tell anyone that he got hurt. Unfortunately, Abigail isn't one to miss things going on with her best friend, so you had to admit to her that something had happened between you two.
This made tonight particularly anxiety-inducing as you didn't know what to expect when you walked into the saloon. You were the last to join, not unusual with your work on the farm.
The trio is in their usual spots, Seb and Sam playing pool with Abigail sitting on the couch. After saying hello to the others in the saloon, you join them.
Robin tries to slyly give you a thumbs up when you pass by. You and Demetrius furrow your brows in confusion, but you give her a smile and continue on.
"Hey, Y/n!" Abigail calls, waving you over to sit beside her on the couch.
Sebastian was just going to hit the cue ball when he heard your name, causing the pool stick to shake. The cue ball ricochets wildly across the table and Sam laughs at Sebastian's frown.
"Hmm, you seem a little distracted, Seb," Abigail says, "I think it's my turn."
You watch as she gets up and ushers Sebastian out of the way, wanting to pull her back to the seat. The boys share a look of confusion, but Seb moves over to the side with you.
While Sebastian's back is turned to her, Abigail tries to give you a discreet wink, to which you squint your eyes at her.
When he gets to the couches, Seb hesitates whether to join you or sit on the adjacent seat.
Before you can move, he shakes his head a little and plops down beside you, considerably closer than Abby was.
You try to mask the surprise and keep your body from going rigid. Why were you freaking out? He's one of your best friends; it's not like you haven't sat together before.
You pinch the inside of your hand to shake you from your thoughts. Looking over, you see Sebastian's eyes trained on the pool game.
Right as the cue ball cracks against an object ball, you lean closer to his ear and whisper, "How's your arm feeling?"
Seb lets out a shaky breath, something he's been doing a lot with you recently.
"It's good, there's just a scar left." He says, moving to face you and lifting his jacket sleeve just enough for you to see.
He's right, the wound has completely closed, and the scar is faded to a light pink. You feel relief flood your system, not realizing how worried you were about him.
"I'm glad." You say softly, going to touch the scar before pausing.
Glancing up, Sebastian gives you a tiny nod, and you watch the goosebumps rise on his arm as you make contact. You gently run your fingers along the mark, making him shiver.
"Does it hurt?" You whisper, lifting your gaze to meet his.
He shakes his head, "Just sensitive."
You cup his arm in your hands, a mimic of what happened 2 days ago in his room. This time, he flips his arm over, bringing his hand to yours, fingers dancing over your palm.
Now it's your turn to have your breath catch, but you don't break the eye contact. Just before Sebastian can lace his fingers through yours, Abigail cheers loudly, causing you two to break away.
Broken from your shared trance once again, you see Robin walk into the room. Sam and Abigail are looking at you both with a raised eyebrow as Sebastian talks to his mother.
"Seems like something that should happen in private," Abigail whispers to you, and you have to fight the blush clawing its way up your neck.
"Seems like something that's never going to happen." You respond. In your defense, it's difficult to think that the universe isn't stopping this for a reason.
Sam shakes his head vigorously, "It will, be patient."
You huff and roll your eyes playfully, kind of, but the conversation is halted when Sebastian returns to the group.
"Guess it's time to go home," Sam says, guiding Abigail to the door of the saloon.
You and Sebastian follow, but he grabs your arm to make you stop once you leave the building.
"Let me walk you home."
Your mouth drops open, but no words come out. He raises an eyebrow slightly, and you snap your mouth shut, giving him a tiny nod.
You both walk side by side until you leave the town center, cross through the area near the bus stop, and onto your farm. Stopping at the porch, Sebastian shuffles and scratches the back of his neck. Giving him a soft smile, you step closer and reach your hand from your side, ghosting your fingers over his.
Another shaky breath, and you make a mental note to ask Harvey to check into that at Sebastian's next check-up. You're brought back to the moment when his hand grabs yours and he pulls you closer.
Gently, his other arm wraps around your waist, and his hand rests on your back. You follow his lead, running your free hand up his chest to the back of his neck.
Feeling your breath hit his lips, Sebastian decides he's done with the waiting, the tension, and the interruptions. He leans down and gives you an intense kiss, if a little sloppy. You can't exactly complain; it's not like there are many people he would be kissing in Pelican Town.
You pull back a little, keeping your lips close to his. When you look, his eyes are still closed, almost as if he is searing this moment in his memory.
Closing your eyes, you do the same, hoping that you both will make many more memories. Who knows how much time passes before you step back. Sebastian's eyes blink open, and you share a smile as your eyes meet again.
"I don't think I ever said thank you for taking care of me."
"I'll always take care of you."
#Sebastian sdv#Stardew Valley#Stardew Valley Imagine#Stardew Valley x Reader#Sebastian SDV x Reader#SDV x Reader#SDV Imagine#SDV Sebastian#Reader Insert#x Reader#Gender Neutral Reader
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mother who stepped up
stepmom!lena oberdorf x mom!reader
summary: lena accepts you, and the mini-you
warnings: one mention of death, nothing too impactful to the story though. very long fic
you’ve never been one for surprises. your life, at least recently, has been built on carefully crafted routines, ensuring that your two-year-old daughter, macy, is comfortable and happy.
dating? it was something you thought would come much later—if at all. after coming to terms with your sexuality, you didn’t want to date unti you were reassured that you’d be with the right woman for your daughter.
here you are, sitting across from lena oberdorf, a suggestion from your well-meaning friends, and even though you like her, there’s something you or your mutual friends haven’t told her yet.
everything had been going smoothly with lena from the start. she was charming, funny, flirtatious, and made you feel seen in ways you hadn’t felt in a long time.
you didn’t think you could get used to someone so effortlessly, but somehow, lena just fit into your life—except for that one secret you hadn’t yet shared.
you’re sitting across from lena at a cozy café, sipping your coffee and listening to her talk about her game against wolfsburg– a club she played many years ago.
it’s easy to get lost in the sound of lena’s voice, the way her eyes light up when she talks about football. you nod along, smiling as she recounts a funny moment from practice.
for a while, everything feels perfect—simple, like your lives are in sync. in the back of your mind, you know you will have to tell her about macy. the little mini-you that is currently coloring in her daycare class across munich.
the conversation shifts to lighter topics, and you pull out your phone to check a notification.
you sit your phone flat on the table and as you’re about to lock the screen, lena leans in, catching a glimpse of the photo that displays on both your home and lock screen.
your heart skips a beat when you realize what she’s seeing—macy, her chubby little cheeks, dimples, and wild curls staring back at you from the lock screen.
lena’s brow furrows slightly, curiosity flickering across her face.
“aweee who’s that?” she asks, her tone casual but with a hint of intrigue.
you freeze for a second, unsure how to respond.
here we go, you think, heart pounding. swallowing hard, you try to brush it off with a light chuckle.
“oh, that’s little macy.”
lena tilts her head, staring at the screen for a moment longer before locking eyes with you.
“macy?” she echoes. “is she… your niece or something? she looks just like you.” she smiles, clearly finding the resemblance cute.
you force a small smile, feeling your throat tighten. this is it—the moment you’ve been dreading.
“uh, no… she’s not my niece.”
“oh,” lena says, looking at you, then back at the picture.
“then, what, a cousin? a friend’s kid?”
you can see her mind working, trying to make sense of it. your fingers tighten around the edge of your phone, and you finally decide to rip the band-aid off.
“she’s my daughter….”
lena’s eyes widen, her gaze darting back to the screen, then to you. her lips part in surprise, but she doesn’t say anything right away. she stares at the lock screen as if seeing it for the first time, really seeing it.
“your daughter?” she repeats softly, almost like she’s processing the words.
you nod, feeling the anxiety rising in your chest.
“yeah. she’s turning two in a few months. macy’s my little girl.”
for a long moment, lena just looks at the photo, her expression unreadable. you watch as her gaze flickers between the image of macy and you, comparing the two of you.
“she… she looks just like you,” lena murmurs, her voice almost in awe.
“i thought she was you for a second, like, as a baby.”
you let out a small, nervous laugh, trying to keep the mood light despite the tension knotting in your stomach.
“yeah, she’s basically my mini-me. she’s got my nose and everything.”
lena doesn’t seem to hear your attempt at humor. instead, her brow furrows deeper as she studies the photo.
“wait, she’s… really your daughter? like, you have a kid?”
you bite your lip, feeling the weight of the moment settle over you.
“yeah, she’s mine. i know i should’ve told you sooner, but…” you trail off, not knowing how to explain the complexity of it all.
“but why didn’t you?” lena asks, her tone still soft, but there’s something raw in her voice—an undercurrent of emotion that you can’t quite place.
you glance down at your coffee, swirling it absentmindedly. “i didn’t know how,” you admit.
“i didn’t want to scare you off. most people aren’t exactly thrilled about dating someone with a kid.”
lena leans back in her chair, processing what you’ve said. “you thought i’d be scared off because you’re a mom?”
you shrug, feeling a little defensive but mostly scared. “it’s happened before,” you say quietly.
“people hear ‘single mom,’ and they run for the hills. i just… didn’t want that to happen again.”
lena is quiet for a moment, her eyes still on the picture of macy. she seems to be absorbing everything, and you can’t help but hold your breath, waiting for her to say something—anything.
“is the father around?” lena says her thoughts out loud.
“oh no no no. um– he didn’t want anything to do with macy. he also passed away shortly after mae turned one. her father and i were never together or even had feelings for eachother– it was just um..” you trail.
“i’m very sorry about that.” lena says, looking up at you before looking back to the photo of your little daughter.
“oh no don’t apologize.” you say.
there's a pause for a few minutes. its clear that you wanted to switch the topic away from macy’s biological father, who wanted nothing to do with her before his passing anyways.
lena looks up at you, giving your phone back with her expression softening.
“you’d thought i’d run?” lena asks, a small, incredulous smile playing on her lips.
“because of this? because of her?”
you shrug again, not trusting yourself to speak. all your worst fears are bubbling to the surface, and you can’t shake the feeling that this might be the moment it all falls apart.
lena reaches across the table, taking your hand gently in hers.
“y/n, she’s beautiful,” she says, her voice sincere. “i mean, she really is a little version of you.”
you blink, the words not sinking in right away. “you… you’re not mad?” you ask, your voice trembling just slightly.
lena shakes her head, squeezing your hand. “no, i’m not mad. i just… wish you’d told me sooner. i know we’ve only been official for a week but–” she pauses, her thumb brushing over your knuckles.
“i get why you didn’t, but… i’m not going anywhere. i like you. and now that i know about macy… i like her too. even if we haven’t met yet.”
the relief that washes over you is almost overwhelming, and you feel your eyes welling up. you’ve been bracing yourself for rejection, for lena to tell you this was too much for her.
though here she is, sitting across from you, holding your hand, and telling you that she’s not going anywhere.
“you’re really okay with this?” you ask, your voice barely above a whisper.
“more than okay,” lena says, her voice firm but kind.
“you’re a mom. that’s a part of who you are, and that’s okay with me.”
you let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding, your heart finally starting to settle.
“thank you,” you whisper, blinking back the tears. “you don’t know how much that means to me coming from you.”
lena smiles, giving your hand one last squeeze before letting go. “so, when do i get to meet this little mini-you?” she asks with a teasing grin.
you chuckle softly, wiping at the corner of your eye. “soon. i just… didn’t want to spring her on you right away.”
“well, now that i know about her,” lena says, leaning back with a playful smirk, “i feel like i’m the one being kept a secret from macy.”
you laugh, the tension between you finally breaking. “i guess we’ll have to fix that soon.”
lena grins, taking another sip of her coffee. “i’m looking forward to it.”
the next day– lena doesn’t text much. you know that she is busy training at bayern but anxiety consumes you.
your thoughts spiral. maybe she changed her mind and realized that it was too much for her. maybe she’s having second thoughts.
by mid-afternoon, you’re glued to your phone while macy is with her aunt (your sister), checking for any sign from her.
nothing comes, and your heart sinks.
as you’re picking macy up from your sisters, your phone finally buzzes. lena’s name flashes across the screen, and you almost drop your keys in your hurry to check it.
lena: hey, can we talk later? i’ve been thinking a lot.
you stare at the message, panic clawing at your chest. thinking doesn’t sound good. you force yourself to respond.
you: sure. what time?
the reply is almost instant.
lena: i can come over tonight?
you hesitate. having her over… that means she’ll meet macy, and you’re not sure if you’re ready for that yet. you also know you can’t keep her at arm’s length forever. you type back quickly.
you: yes, come at 7.
you spend the rest of the afternoon trying not to overthink it.
as soon as macy is fed and bathed, your nerves start creeping back. you’re pacing the living room, glancing at the clock, when the doorbell rings.
macy, sitting on the couch with her stuffed miffy bunny and fluffy blanket, perks up.
“mama, door!”
you smile, ruffling her hair.
“stay here, baby,” you say softly, walking to the door.
you open it, and there she is—lena, standing on your doorstep wearing a black outfit along with a grey beanie, looking as unsure as you feel.
“hey,” she says, giving you a small smile.
“hey,” you reply, stepping aside to let her in. you’re about to close the door when macy toddles over, clutching her miffy bunny in her small hands. lena’s eyes immediately land on her, and she smiles.
“this must be macy,” lena says, her tone soft and warm.
you nod, watching as macy stares up at lena with her wide (reader’s color) eyes.
“yeah, this is her.”
lena crouches down to macy’s level, holding out her hand. “hey, macy. i’m lena.”
macy looks at you for reassurance before shyly reaching out to shake lena’s hand.
“miffy bunny,” she says, showing off her stuffed toy.
lena chuckles softly. “that’s a cool bunny.”
you watch the exchange, your heart swelling with something you hadn’t expected. lena looks so natural with macy, and it’s a sight you weren’t prepared for.
you clear your throat, trying to shake off the wave of emotion.
“so, um, you said you wanted to talk?” you ask, motioning for lena to follow you to the couch.
she nods, standing up and giving macy one last smile before sitting beside you. macy toddles back to the couch, climbing up and sitting between your legs, still clutching her bunny as her small arms hug your waist.
“yeah,” lena says, glancing between you and macy. “i’ve been thinking a lot since last night.”
you nod slowly, waiting for the bomb to drop.
“i know this is a lot,” she continues, her voice gentle but steady.
“and i understand if you’re worried about how i’ll fit into your life, into macy’s life, but… i want to try.”
you blink, taken aback. “you do?”
lena nods, reaching out to gently take your hand.
“yeah. i mean, i didn’t expect this either, but i really like you, y/n. and if macy’s a part of your life, then i want to be a part of that too.”
you sit back, still reeling from the way the conversation unfolded. the tension that had knotted up your stomach starts to loosen, but you can’t help feeling the need to set some boundaries—just to be sure lena knows what this really means.
it’s too early in the relationship to assume anything, and you don’t want to put any pressure on her, especially when it comes to macy.
taking a deep breath, you meet lena’s eyes.
“i just want to be clear about something,” you say softly.
“i don’t expect anything from you when it comes to macy. you’re not obligated to her, and i’d never force any duties on you. it’s still really early in our relationship, and i don’t want you to feel like you have to step into a role you’re not ready for. if you just want to date me, that’s okay. i mean it. however i just want you to understand that in a case between you vs. macy– i’ll always choose macy.”
lena watches you closely, her brow furrowing slightly as she listens. she leans forward, resting her arms on the table, and shakes her head gently.
“y/n, you don’t have to put up walls.”
you bite your lip, feeling the weight of her gaze. “i’m not putting up walls,” you explain quietly.
“i just… i want to be fair. macy’s is the biggest part of my life, but she’s my responsibility, not yours. i don’t want you to feel like you have to take on so much at once. i don’t want you to feel trapped.”
lena sits back in her chair, exhaling slowly. her eyes soften as she takes in your words.
“first of all, macy isn’t a trap,” she says firmly, her tone leaving no room for doubt.
“she’s your daughter. i don’t see that as something to run from.”
your heart stumbles at her words, but you try to stay grounded. “but it’s still a lot for you,” you press gently.
“being with me means being with macy too, and that’s a lot to ask of anyone. especially this soon.”
lena reaches across the table again, her hand finding yours, warm and steady. “i get what you’re saying,” she begins, her voice calm but sincere.
“and i appreciate that you don’t want to rush things or put pressure on me. but, y/n, macy is a part of you. she’s part of your life, and if i want to be with you, that means i’m choosing to include her too.”
she squeezes your hand, her eyes locked on yours. “i’m not saying i’m trying to be her mom right away, or that i know how all of this is supposed to work. but i want to figure it out. because macy is important to you, and that makes her important to me.”
your heart swells, and you can feel the tears prickling at the corners of your eyes again. you hadn’t expected this, not so soon, and certainly not with such certainty in her voice.
it’s like lena had already made the decision in her heart before you even started this conversation.
you blink back the tears, swallowing hard as you nod. “i… i didn’t know if you’d feel that way.”
“of course i do,” lena says softly, her thumb gently brushing the back of your hand.
“i’m not scared off by you being a mom, y/n. it doesn’t make me want this any less.”
you take a shaky breath, overwhelmed by the depth of her words. “i’ve never had anyone say that to me before,” you admit, your voice barely a whisper.
“it’s always been the reason people walk away.”
lena’s eyes soften even more, and she moves her chair closer to you, her hand never leaving yours. “well, i’m not them,” she says simply, her voice steady and sure. “i’m here. and i’m not going anywhere.”
the emotions well up in you, and for a moment, you’re speechless. you look down at your joined hands, feeling the weight of the moment settle over you. she’s serious. she’s really serious.
“thank you,” you finally whisper, your voice thick with emotion. “thank you for… for staying.”
lena smiles, leaning in to press a gentle kiss to your temple.
macy, oblivious to the weight of the conversation, leans against your arm, yawning as she starts to doze off.
you glance down at her, then back at lena, your heart full in a way you hadn’t felt in a long time.
from that moment on, things between you and lena shift. she starts coming over more, spending time not just with you but with macy too.
at first, macy is a little shy around her, but lena is patient, never pushing too hard, just gently easing her way into your daughter’s life. it doesn’t take long before macy is running to the door to greet lena with a grin, her little arms reaching up for a hug.
the first time macy calls her "obi”, your heart skips a beat. it's a simple moment—you're all sitting on the floor of your living room, surrounded by toys, when macy tugs on lena's sleeve, her big eyes looking up at her expectantly.
"obi, play?" she asks, holding out a mermaid barbie.
lena grins, taking the truck from macy. "of course liebe."
watching them together, you can't help but smile. it’s becoming clearer each day—lena’s not just here for you.
she’s here for macy too. sometimes you joke that she is only here for macy.
as the years goes by, lena becomes more and more involved in your life. she starts joining you for bedtime routines, helping with bath time, reading macy her favorite stories as she grows older.
after lena, macy, and you move into an apartment together— lena is for the tantrums, the messy dinners, the sleepless nights. sometimes, she will take the initiative so you can rest. the more time she spends with macy, the more it feels like she belongs in your little family.
three years after the important conversation, your life with lena feels like a dream.
macy is five now, full of energy and curiosity, and lena has been there for all of it—every scraped knee, every preschool recital, every bedtime story. your home is filled with laughter and warmth, the life you never imagined you’d have when you were raising macy on your own.
now, as you sit together on the couch, macy fast asleep in her room, lena leans into you, her fingers tracing patterns on your hand. she’s quiet, more thoughtful than usual, and you can sense something’s on her mind. she glances at the engagement ring on your finger, the same ring you’ve been admiring for months now, and then turns to you with a serious expression.
“i was thinking,” lena says quietly, her voice soft in the dim light.
“about what?” you ask, turning to look at her.
she hesitates for a moment, her hand pausing on your arm. “about macy. and… about us.”
your heart skips a beat, but you keep your voice steady. “what about us?”
“i know it’s still early but…” she says, her voice careful,
you blink, processing her words. “but…?”
she takes a deep breath. “once we get married i’ll be macy’s stepmom. something i’ve been thinking about for a while. however i don’t want to wait until then. i want to be a mom to macy. if you’ll let me.”
the weight of her words settles over you, and for a moment, you’re speechless. you’d always hoped, deep down, that lena would want to be a part of macy’s life, but hearing her say it out loud—it feels overwhelming in the best possible way.
“i know i’m not her biological mom, and i’ll never try to replace that, but… i love her, y/n. i love both of you. and if you’re ready for that, i’d like to be her mom too.”
the tears you’ve been holding back finally spill over, and you reach up to cup her face, your thumb brushing against her cheek. “we’d love that, obi.” you whisper. “we’d love that.” you repeat in awe.
when macy starts calling her “mama lena,” after she turns six– your heart nearly bursts with love.
macy is seven now, and the bond between her and lena has only grown stronger over the years. she clings to lena in a way that sometimes surprises you—like she’s always seeking her approval or comfort.
it’s been that way ever since lena officially adopted her after turning thirty-one, and you and lena got married.
you remember that day so vividly, the moment the judge declared that lena was now macy’s legal mother. the joy on lena’s face, the way macy had leaped into her arms, calling her “mama” with such pure excitement, filled your heart with pride and love.
it wasn’t long after when lena got the call—an offer from chelsea. it was a huge opportunity, one that meant she’d be competing in the women’s super league. after a lot of late-night talks and some serious decision-making, lena accepted the offer, which meant the three of you were moving to london.
the change was exciting, something fresh and new for all of you. macy was thrilled at the idea of living in a new city, and as for you, the thought of starting a new chapter together made you incredibly happy.
in london, lena is the person macy runs to for almost everything. scraped knees, homework help, even just to ask if she can have a snack—lena is her go-to. most days, it fills you with happiness to see them so close, to know that macy has someone who loves her so much.
sometimes, like today, you can’t help but feel a little sting.
you’d been in the middle of getting macy ready for school. she was in a hurry as usual, fidgeting in her seat while you knelt to help her tie her shoes.
before you could finish, she pulled her foot away, laughing. “no, no, mama lena does it better!” she giggled, her bright smile lighting up her face.
you laughed too, even though the words pricked at your heart. “oh, really?” you teased, raising an eyebrow.
“guess i’ll need to practice, huh?”
macy just grinned, her curls bouncing as she wiggled her toes. “yeah, you should! don’t worry, you’re still good at other stuff!”
you smiled, ruffling her hair. “well, i’m glad i’m still useful for something.”
she giggled again, completely unaware of how her innocent words had stirred something in you.
you shoved the feeling aside quickly, focusing instead on making her laugh as you pretended to dramatically fumble with her shoes. her laughter filled the room, her curls tumbling down her back as she leaned forward in her chair, watching you with bright eyes.
it wasn’t until you were dropping her off at school that the feeling crept back in, like a quiet ache in the pit of your stomach.
it wasn’t that you were jealous—at least, you didn’t think you were. you loved that macy and lena were so close. you’d always hoped that one day macy would have a strong bond with lena, and seeing it unfold so naturally had been like a dream come true.
still, moments like this made you wonder if you were slowly being edged out, if macy was starting to see lena as the “cool” mom while you were just… the other one that happened to look like her.
you tried not to dwell on it too much. lena had been nothing but supportive, always making sure you knew how important you were to both of them. and really, you were happy.
lena had embraced being a mother to macy in every way—going to parent-teacher conferences, staying up late to help with school projects, even helping macy with her football in-between training at chelsea.
that was another thing: football.
macy had recently started showing a serious interest in the sport, much to lena’s delight. she idolized her mama, always asking about drills and tactics, begging to go to practice with her.
one afternoon, after watching one of lena’s games, macy had turned to you both, her eyes wide with excitement.
“i want to play football too!” she’d said, bouncing on her toes.
lena’s face had lit up with pride. “you do, huh? well, we can definitely make that happen.”
since then, lena had been working on getting macy into training, talking to coaches and setting up practice sessions in your backyard. you’d watch them sometimes, lena patiently teaching macy how to pass the ball, how to position herself.
the way macy looked up at lena, so full of admiration, always made you smile. you were thrilled that your daughter had someone like lena to look up to, someone who could teach her the things you never could.
and yet, in the quieter moments, when macy would run to lena after a long day, her arms wrapping tightly around her waist, you couldn’t help but feel a tiny pang of sadness. it wasn’t that macy didn’t love you—she did, of course.
there was something different about the way she clung to lena, like lena was her whole world. you couldn’t blame her. lena was a natural with her, always knowing just the right thing to say or do to make macy feel safe and loved.
you’d catch yourself watching them sometimes, a soft smile on your face as you listened to their conversations, the easy way they communicated without needing to say much. you’d hide your feelings behind a joke, like the time macy had joked about lena being better at making breakfast, and you’d playfully said, “well, guess i’ll just stick to making the coffee then.” macy had laughed, and you’d felt the sting lessen, pushing it to the back of your mind.
around this time, you and lena had started talking more seriously about having another child.
this time, you would carry, using lena’s egg along with a donor. you’d been through a few consultations, and after what felt like a whirlwind of planning and waiting, the IVF procedure was finally successful.
you were pregnant with another little girl.
the joy that filled your heart was indescribable. the idea of adding to your family, of giving macy a sibling, was something you’d dreamed about for so long. and now, with the news confirmed, it was time to tell macy.
you weren’t sure how she’d react—she’d always been so used to being the only one, the center of attention. but you were hopeful that she’d be excited.
one evening, you and lena sat macy down, her favorite blanket draped over her lap as she snuggled on the couch between you. lena’s arm was around your shoulders, her hand resting gently on your belly, already slightly swollen with the new life growing inside.
“munchkin,” lena said softly, looking at macy with a warm smile. “we have some big news for you.”
macy looked up, her curiosity piqued.
“what is it?”
you took a deep breath, smiling as you leaned forward a little. “you’re going to be a big sister, sweetheart.”
macy’s eyes widened, and for a moment, she just stared at you, her mind clearly racing to process what you’d said.
“a big sister?” she repeated, her voice uncertain.
“that’s right,” lena added, squeezing your shoulder gently. “there’s a baby in here.” she gestured to your belly. “a little sister for you.”
macy’s face scrunched up, her expression a mix of confusion and hesitation. “but… i like being the only one,” she admitted, her voice small.
you shared a glance with lena, both of you understanding her hesitation. “we know, sweetheart,” you said gently.
“and you’ll always be our first, our special girl. but having a sister means you’ll have someone to play with, someone who’ll look up to you, someone who’ll need your help.”
macy was quiet for a moment, clearly thinking about what you’d said. her little fingers twisted in the edge of her blanket, her brow furrowed as she processed the news. you could tell she wasn’t sure how to feel.
“and you’ll still get to do everything you love,” lena added. “football, school, everything. this just means there will be more love in the house. and maybe, when she’s old enough, you can teach her some football moves.”
macy’s eyes brightened a little at that, the idea of teaching someone something she loved appealing to her. “i get to teach her football?”
you smiled, nodding. “absolutely. you’re going to be the best big sister ever.”
slowly, macy’s frown faded, replaced by a tentative smile. “okay,” she said, her voice soft but a little more certain.
“i’ll be the best big sister ever. but only if i get to teach her football.”
lena laughed, pulling macy into a tight hug. “deal.”
and just like that, your family took another step forward, your heart full of love as you prepared for the next chapter in your lives—together.
masterlist
#lena oberdorf#lena oberdorf x reader#woso fanfics#woso community#woso x reader#gerwnt#bayern frauen
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You Don’t Own Me
SERIES MASTERLIST
Chris Sturniolo lives by his own rules, refusing to be controlled. Some see him as a rebel, a troublemaker—but is that the full truth? Meanwhile, Y/N is focused on making the most of her last year of high school, determined to have a normal teenage experience. But when their worlds collide, they realize they may have more in common than they ever expected.
WARNINGS: COPYRIGHT NOTICE. PLEASE READ AND LOOK UP DEFINITIONS OF WARNINGS FOR FURTHER CLARIFICATION. HUGE TW FOR THIS CHAPTER. CSA (only mentioned, not described), heavy angst, mentions of family death and family issues, fluff, crying, kissing, comfort, cuddling
A/N: J-Dawg has my heart goddamn. Slightly shorter (it's like 7 pages)
With love and big tits, Rose
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Part 28: Aches
She’s home. My mom had gotten back into town yesterday and Baylen told me she knows that I’m aware of everything now—all the lies, all the betrayal, all of the truth. Apparently she wants to talk to me. Now that I know everything, she actually wants to have a conversation.
The thought of her so willing to finally be honest makes my skin itch with irritation. I can’t believe this—years of everything being fake. What else was a lie? How much has my own mother betrayed me?
“You look bummed. Not enough bacon this morning?” Chris jokes, plopping on the couch next to me.
His hand immediately lands on my thigh, instinctively pulling my leg over his lap before starting to massage just above my knee. Touch was something I found myself being more hesitant on, but his touch never made me feel anything but safe and loved.
I focus on the sensation of his fingers rubbing over my skin, the warmth of his hand radiating over every inch of my body with a smothering comfort. My eyes linger on my leg in his lap, drifting upward as I inch my gaze towards his face, a blush covering my face as I notice how intently he’s staring at me.
A dry huff hums through my lips at his playful statement. This morning, he had made me plenty of bacon, purposefully luring me out of my bed so I would cuddle on the couch with him.
And it worked. My nose made my sleepy body walk towards the scent of bacon with a hazy yearning for the food.
Chris fed me on the couch until we both eventually fell asleep. He seems really tired recently. Part of me has wondered if he’s been able to sleep at night, but another part of me wonders why he hasn’t invited me to sleep in his room.
It’s been awhile since we had a true sleepover—almost a week. I’d see him for a brief moment before school and then we would hang out afterwards, except when I was working on assignments or my project I still needed to fully complete with Shawn.
“I can make more if you want,” Chris teases, leaning forward until his nose slightly brushes the tip of my own.
The corners of my lips twist upward with delight, my eyes narrowing as I feel his breath fan across my face.
Something about the way he’s looking at me makes me feel alive, completely immersed in the present moment. It’s like my heart is beating for one purpose and one purpose only—to be seen and no pressure for anything else.
“I’m okay, but thank you.” I mention, my nose wrinkling as he spares me a sympathetic glance.
A moment passes. I feel his hands freeze while gliding along my calves. My eyes drift up to see his face scrunched with an unreadable emotion.
His hands retract as if he’s been burned. I feel my legs fall as he stands up, clearing his throat and keeping his eyes trained on the ground.
Something has been different. It feels like everytime we sit long enough in silence, he thinks too much—he thinks about something that makes him pull away.
“I’m gonna, uh—I’m gonna go to my room,” he says, walking off down the hallway without a second glance.
___
It’s quiet. The night is at an all time silent, the subtle noise of shaking branches and ruffling leaves the only sort of echo. It’s really late. I know I shouldn’t be up, I have school tomorrow, but I couldn’t sleep.
Not after the phone call I got.
It was from my mother. I was startled by my phone ringing after getting ready for bed. She kept asking me to come home so she could explain, she kept begging for me to listen—but, I couldn’t face her.
I told her to talk. I struggled to comprehend the words, but I heard her loud and clear.
She didn’t know at first. My mom thought it was so wholesome how much my dad loved me, she thought it was sweet.
That changed at some point. She realized things were not adding up.
And she ignored it.
“-I was in shock! I–I loved him, I had his children—I married him. I wanted to believe he was the man I loved and…and he just…wasn’t.”
She was in shock. My own mother couldn’t protect me because she refused to confront reality—she couldn’t take care of me since she didn’t wanna see the truth.
She cared more for a cowardly, fake man than she did for me—her innocent child. Calling her mom doesn’t even feel right. Part of me is tempted to just label her by her first name—Rylie.
Rylie is alive.
My mom is dead.
I feel a warm hand land on my shoulder. My foggy eyes stay trained in front of me as I feel a body sit next to me on the porch steps.
“You okay, kid?” Jimmy asks, nudging his shoulder onto mine briefly.
He means well. I know he has good intentions, but the question hurts. In what world would I be okay?
Shrugging, I let out a sigh, shaking my head. “Not really.”
I don’t have it in myself to act strong or lie. My heart feels like dead weight in my chest, a numb void that makes everything feel so empty. It’s dark outside, but even the slight vibrance doesn’t seem to look the same anymore. Everything is dull.
The louder the wind gets, the harder it gets as I try to blink back the heavy tears resting on my waterline. I’ve already cried so much. My eyes feel sore.
“Haven’t been sleeping good, have you?” he asks.
I shake my head, sighing as I let out a dry huff. “No, not really. I mean…it’s hard…sleeping…” I trial off, my face furrowing with frustration as I hold back depression words.
It’s hard sleeping because it doesn’t feel safe—especially alone. All I’ve wanted is to feel secure. I know Chris brings that feeling of safety, but he hasn’t even hinted at wanting me to stay in his bed—he’s barely even had us hang out in his room.
He wants me, he loves me, and he’s there for me—but there’s something holding him back—something making him pull away. I can’t tell what it is.
My body is impossibly stiff. The warmth of Jimmy’s hand lands on my shoulders, a heavy breath pushing through his lips as I feel something in the pit of my gut start to vibrate with anxiety.
“It…it’s—’s too much,” I cry, a sharp gasp echoing through the air before I feel Jimmy pull me into his arms, petting my head as he lets me cry into his chest.
I cover my face with my hands, letting him hold me while trying to suck in enough air to feel satisfied. It doesn’t work—not anymore.
No amount of deep breaths or fresh air would ever heal this feeling. I’m not sure anything would ever make me feel better. It hurts to admit, but it’s true.
“I know, kid, I know,” he puffs, holding me tighter, his hand cradling the back of my head.
My shaky breaths calm into tired sighs. I pull away, rubbing my face aggressively as I feel him rub my shoulder reassuringly. It doesn’t ache as much when I’m around someone. At least I don’t have to feel as alone with someone being there.
“What can I do to help?”
Jimmy’s question lingers in the air like fog. I open my mouth to respond, but my throat closes in on itself. I have no answer. Not one that could possibly make sense.
I hear the porch door creak open. My head doesn’t lift, but Jimmy’s gaze shifts over my shoulder.
There’s a pause, a breath of silence that weighs heavier than the conversation that came before it.
“Hey,” Chris says quietly.
His voice is soft, cautious. I blink, still staring forward, my fingers twitching at the sound.
Jimmy shifts, his hand giving my shoulder one last squeeze before he stands. “I’ll give you two a minute,” he murmurs, and then his footsteps retreat into the house, the door clicking gently behind him.
Chris doesn’t sit right away. I can feel him hovering, unsure.
“I couldn’t sleep either,” he finally says, stepping closer. “Then I noticed you weren’t in the guest room, so I checked outside.”
I don’t say anything, but I tilt my head to glance at him. He’s wearing a hoodie, the strings loosely dangling, hands stuffed into the front pocket. His eyes are glued to the wooden planks beneath our feet.
“I saw you with my dad,” he adds. “Didn’t want to interrupt.”
“I don’t mind,” I whisper.
He looks up at that. His eyes soften, flickering with something deep and sad. “Can I… walk you back in?”
I nod. He offers a hand and I take it, letting him pull me to my feet. We don’t talk as we go inside. The house is dim and still, and everything feels too loud even when it’s silent.
He leads me down the hallway, and instead of stopping at the guest room, he walks past it and opens the door to his own.
I hesitate in the doorway.
He turns, noticing, and rubs the back of his neck. “I, uh… I haven’t asked you to sleep in here lately,” he begins, his voice low. “Not because I didn’t want to. I did—I do.”
I stare at him, my hands fidgeting at my sides.
Chris takes a breath and steps a little closer. “I didn’t want to do anything that might…well, trigger you. After everything, I thought maybe giving you space was safer. But I should’ve asked. I should’ve talked to you about it instead of pulling away.”
My chest tightens. I feel the sting of tears again, but this time it’s different. Not angry, not despairing—just full.
“I understand why you thought that,” I say. “But I don’t need space from you. I need you. You’re…you’re the only place I feel okay right now, Chris. And I know—I know that’s a lot, but…” I trail off, swallowing the lump forming in my throat.
Chris doesn’t wait for me to finish. He steps forward and wraps his arms around me, pulling me into the kind of hug that says everything words can’t.
“I’ve got you,” he whispers into my hair. “You don’t ever have to explain needing me. I’m yours. However you need me.”
I sink into him, burying my face into his chest. I feel his lips press gently to the crown of my head before he walks me toward the bed, pulling the blankets back.
We climb in together, and it’s the first time in days that I feel like I can really breathe.
His arm circles my waist, my back against his chest, and I feel the slow rise and fall of his breathing as it steadies mine.
“I’m not going anywhere,” he murmurs. “You don’t have to be alone anymore.”
I nod, eyes fluttering closed, his voice like a blanket wrapped around my shivering bones.
For the first time in what feels like forever, I let myself fall asleep without any lingering fear. Any and all worries fade as I sink into the overwhelming comfort of his arms cradling me against him.
I’m hurt—beyond words, beyond tears, and beyond anything imaginable. The feelings in my chest are indescribably painful. It’s like my heart is pulsing in an overbearing way.
In his arms, it doesn’t feel as intense or intimidating. The familiar pulse against my chest feels like an ache of healing.
It feels safe to just feel.
#bbs.recents#sturniolo triplets#chris sturniolo#sturniolo x reader#sturniolo fanfic#matt sturniolo#nick sturniolo#the sturniolo triplets#sturniolo smut#chris sturniolo angst#chris sturniolo headcanon#chris sturniolo imagine#chris sturniolo smut#chris sturniolo x reader#chris sturniolo texts#christopher sturniolo#matt sturniolo au#christopher sturniolo smut#chris sturniolo au#chris sturniolo fanfic#chris sturniolo fluff#matt sturniolo fluff#matt sturniolo imagine#matt sturniolo x reader#matt sturniolo x you#matthew bernard sturniolo#matthew sturniolo#matthew sturniolo texts#nicolas sturniolo#sturniolo angst
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Sinister!Mark x ChildhoodfriendF!Mc
Random idea popped into my head as I was day dreaming, what if Childhoodfriend!Mc who’s become rather disconnected from Main!Mark ever since he’s gotten his powers had bumped into a different Mark, where perhaps they were not so disconnected?
Warning; smut HAHA first time writing it so idek how goonable it is lol. Uhmm cunnilingus and just like smut stuff.
This is barely proofread so I apologize in advance for any mistakes.
Wc:2304
You and Mark Grayson had been best friends growing up, well you Mark and William, the three of you would do anything and everything together, whether it be climb up a tree and get stuck in it, or put what little scrap change your parents had to offer you as an allowance and buy a gaming console collectively, it helped that your mother was a good friend of Debbie Grayson. The three of you would go on to attend the same highschool, and although divided by classes lunch was prime hangout time for you three, or so it had been.
Recently, you’ve noticed less communication from Mark, even though William would still speak with you, it seemed like Mark had become distant, busy, strangely enough it seemed it was this way only for you. You couldn’t help but notice William and Mark walking down the hallway, but before you could butt in and say something Mark seemed to be getting in some kind of fight, it was the same guy who punched him last time. You didn’t take Mark for a masochist at least, however it seemed Mark ate the punches with zero regard, it was an odd sight to see, but before you could even approach them the bell rang. It felt like there was just no time for you to even get a word in anymore.
In your next period, you shot Mark a text… a text that had been answered about 3 weeks later.
‘Hey sorry, fell asleep’
Staring down at the text you looked at it with confusion, a 3 week sleep? Well.. whatever. You sent one back stating it was fine and asking how he was, which of course also went straight to the void. You Weren’t mad, just.. hurt. You had known him for years and yet you couldn’t even seem to hold a conversation with him any longer. However how were you supposed to know that he was mid fight with some ugly creature from who knows where, stopping it from devouring families whole.
As the weeks went on it became months, from months to years, now you were a college freshman, all big and graduated from highschool, you had new friends, new aspersions, everything. Even then you would frequently send baked goods your mom made for Debbie over to their household. Your relationship with Debbie was still rather strong, she had been like an aunt to you and still held that connection every time she saw you…
It was a normal day, as normal as it could be really, you just finished your classes and we’re taking a. Walk around the neighborhood, mainly trying to find a certain flower you had to draw for an art class, however as you walked you started realizing the disarray of everything, people scattering, screaming, buildings collapsing and limbs… limbs flying everywhere. Frozen in place momentarily, you had no clue what was happening. However you knew that you had to run..
You snapped out of it as a man directly in front of you had been squashed beneath parts of a falling building, your clothes and shoes covered in blood, with some splashes of blood resting upon your cheeks. You slowly turned, swallowing a lump in your throat, eyes wide from the sight before you. You took a small step, then a bigger one, then another, your foot heavy, it felt as if each foot carried a weight on it, however you continued stepping until you finally found yourself bolting it out of there.
Finally making it into a quiet and dark alley, you rested against a wall, pausing, rising your hands into view as you saw the blood, blood of that dead man.. your entire body trembled as you felt tears push to escape your eyes, your vision becoming blurred, you’ve never watched somebody die, you never been right in front of them, this was not something you could ever imagine even seeing. It terrified you. Lingering nearby had been bigger threats.
“Oho..? Is that a survivor I see? How should I torture you? Slowly?” The voice rang out a mockingly sweet tone, however it had inexplainable amounts of malice laced beneath it. The figure approached you, grabbing your chin harshly, causing jarring pain in your jaw. “Mmm..! Ow-!” Forcibly, you turned your head towards the man, your eyes still hazy due to just crying, silence ringing out for a few moments.
“Oh… hehhh~? That’s surprising, I would’ve expected to find you somewhere Much closer to this universes Mark.” The grip on your jaw dropped, becoming just a slight hold. “Well, aren’t you a beauty in this universe as well?” A hand finds its way on your hip, pressing down on the bone beneath your skin, showing significant power and yet not taking any action. “Who are you?!” Your voice rings out, choked from not speaking for the past whike, the voice had sounded comfortingly familiar, and yet the actions had been cold and unknowing. A soft chuckle rings out, followed by the sounds of fabric, he was removing his mask.
“You don’t know me? Don’t tell me this Mark passed up on an opportunity like you?” He seemed to derive joy from teasing you in such a way. You inhale, hehe seeming to let go of it as you focus on his face, brows furrowing before the breath finally leaves your lungs. “Mark..?” You ask cautiously, a loud laugh emerges from the man, seemingly on the brink of insanity. “My God, it’s been so long since I’ve seen your beautiful face, wish that earthquake never happened that took you, we would’ve had beautiful kids to take over this universe.” The distance between the two of you closed, his head resting on your shoulder, his breath pressing against your neck.
“Well, I can always just have a child with you. Maybe eventually it’ll find me when I get sent back..” he murmured to him self against your neck, your body paused before trying to wiggle away, however it was almost instant the moment he felt your body KOVE away his hands pinned yours against the wall, lips meeting your neck, teeth meeting it as well, he bit into the flesh just barely drawing blood. You yelped out, resulting in yet another laugh, in the crook of your neck you felt his tongue trace upwards and to your jaw. “Fuck, when you make that sound it excites me too much, you gotta stop it before I decide you’re worth holding my children.”
The man’s knee raised itself between your thighs, pressing his kneecap against the heat of your core. The sensation was unexpected, however the familiarity of it being Mark had been oddly comforting, your breath becoming more steady as you fondly remembered the man in front of you, however he was much different than you remembered. His eyes were devouring you, his hand leaving your hip as he grabbed the fabric of your shirt, ripping it off swiftly leaving you in nothing but a bra. “These look so familiar, I fucking love you.” As he speaks he removes your bra, immediately palming your breast, squeezing it with desperation.
Your bottom lip quivered, heart racing as you were unsure whether you would allow him to make love to you or scream in a desperate attempt to possibly escape this, however you couldn’t deny that the way his knee had been massaging your core absentmindedly with a knee was basically enough to convince you to to allow him. “You.. y-you had some other kind of version of me,,, so.. you aren’t the Mark I know.?” You asked, looking down at him, watching as he completely ignored your question, opening is mouth and taking a mouthful of your bosom inside of his mouth. Your jaw clenched as you felt his teeth clamp around the sensitive bud, enough to hurt but not enough to do any real damage. Your jaw clenched grunt out in pain, unintentionally fuelling him.
With your beautiful grunt of pain he hummed, a chuckle emerging from deep in his throat as his hand worked on unbuttoning your pants, moving his knee out of the way and pulling them down. You were screwed now, as he pulled down your pants the wetness of your arousal became rather visible, a smirk befalling his lips as he pulled away, eyes not even bothering to meet yours, treating you as if you were just a body, and he was going to use it.
His lips met the skin between your chest, pressing against your skin so hard he could practically feel your sternum. He inhaled your scent, sucking and lapping up at the space between your chest before slowly lowering himself down. Kissing along your body as he lowered himself to his knees, both hands resting on your thighs as he met himself face to face with your panties. Pressing his nose against them, he inhaled, shakily breathing out. “I wonder if you taste the same ..” your eyes watch him half lidded, Bottom lip encased between your teeth as he licks at your panties, soaking them with his saliva while still on your person.
His fingers find themselves in the waistband of your panties as he pulls them down, sniffing them one last time before shoving them into a pocket. Attention back on your leaky cunt he dives in face first, his tongue pressing against your hole, lapping up your arousal whike his nose pressed against your sensitive clit, fingers tracing around your entrance, laughing against your core in amusement as he felt you clench around nothing. The yellow caped Mark had been having a field day, savouring your scent as if you were dead where he came from.
Mark hooked his arms beneath your thighs pulling your cunt closer to him as she sucked and nibbled at your clit rewarding himself with the sweet taste of your juices. Your body shook with pleasure, hands tugging at the hair of his head, hips buckling towards his face as to gain more friction between the two of you. Your movements resulted in your sensitive bud rubbing against his nose frantically, causing you to throw your head back, body sweaty as your jaw laid open. In a high of pleasure, chasing a climax you used his face, thighs squeezing around his head as your pace became sloppy and rushed, finally finishing directly on his face.
Your breath was heavy as your vision returned, looking down you watched as he lapped up all of your cum. “Yeah.. just as tasty as I remembered.. fuck, I have to.. you have to .. have my child.” He breathed heavily, hastily removing his clothing, holding you against the wall as he pulled out his erect cock, lining it up with your hole, however it wasn’t like he had prepared your hole with his fingers beforehand, leaving you to experience his cock stretching you completely. His tip pressed against your entrance, eyes focused on yours as he pressed against you. “Fffuuck, clearly the mark here doesn’t fuck you like I did, huh bitch?” His arms embraced your figure as he shoved every inch of him inside of you, groaning as he felt your tight hole absorb him.
“Tight.. fuck.” His hands grip your waist, squeezing it. “Tell me whore, does he stuff you like this.?” His grip gets tighter, causing pain. “Ahhhhnnmmm~! Fuck..! N-no I don’t even t-taaalk.. to him..” your voice came out strained as his hands lifted you, slamming you back down on his length, causing a jarring moan to escape your lips. Your answer seems to excite him, a deranged laugh escaping his lips. “So hes never fucked you like this hm? I’m.. first~” his pace doesn’t falter, infact he picks it up. Slamming you down harder, he felt the need to breed, leave a permanent mark on this universe. Unlike the cities he could destroy that would be fixed, leaving a child would forever remain.
Your throat became dry, moans echoing out throughout the alleyway. He fucked himself deeper inside of you, his movements stuttering as he felt himself climaxing, burying his cum deep into your cunt. “Come on.. you.. you’re going to be my little.. cum whore. I’m going to get you soo totally fucking.. pregnant.” His hand slapped your ass, doing whatever he could to inflict physical pain, hearing you yelp out in pain he only picked up the speed more. And for the first time during this entire encounter he pressed his lips against yours.
The kiss was messy, unhinged and dirty. Saliva being swapped between the two of you, no clue who’s was who’s. The kiss became softer as his pace began to slow down, suddenly speeding up once last time as he rutted himself into your tight cunt, climaxing once more before slowly pulling himself out, his skin was sweaty and breath was uneven. He ran a hand through his hair, watching as you fell down to the floor legs partially numb. He got dressed once more, pressing a kiss against your skin. “Don’t be a dumb bitch, get to safety somewhere, you better get pregnant and have my child.” He then flew away, without even a second glance.
You sat against that brick wall for a while, body used with marks all of your hips, neck and chest, unsure of where to even go, he tore up everything besides your shorts anyway.. you slowly picked yourself up, putting on your shorts. You stumbled out of the alley, using your arms to protect your chest from being exposed indecently, only making it a few steps before bumping into someone.
“Woahah, are you okay… oh.” The man turned, a blue and black suit, looking down at you he seemed worried. “Y/N? What.. happened.?” The voice sounded familiar once more, however this time even the tone resembled the Mark you knew. Seeing as the last man who wore this superhero persona was mark, it was a fair guess to assume this was him too. “Mark.? Like.. the real Mark.. from here?” He seemed shocked, coughing, not sure how you even knew his true identity. “Uhhh, yeah yeah, sorry we haven’t spoken in a while I’ve been busy being invincible.. but man you look worn out and uh.. naked..?” He avoided his gaze, calling over Eve, mainly so she could materialize a shirt for you. “Well, let’s get you somewhere safe alright? At least you don’t seem badly injured just pretty marked up.” Yeah, definitely marked up.
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Oh wow was that end cringe or what, anyways tysm for reading!!
#mark grayson#invincible#sinister mark#mark variants#mark x reader#sinister dom#sinister invincible#invincible x reader#atom eve#smut
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