#i had to let it out now bc side order is coming out tonight and im locking it

[samipekoe]

melini's first ball

and laios freaking it sensitive style

[springseasonie]

I'm a Mouse, Duh! | LJN + NJM (M)

Roommate Jeno x fem reader x roommate Jaemin, Halloween party trope, pure filth

Summary: Nomin in police costumes and Y/N in a "mouse" costume (it's literally just lingerie). Will they fuck? Keep reading to find out! (the answer is yes) (the title is a mean girls reference if you didn't notice btw)

Warnings: sexual content, dom Jeno, dom Jaemin, oral (fem and male receiving), Eifel tower 😖, spiting, cum eating, ass eating, butt stuff (it's my first time writing this don't judge too hard), double penetration, slight crying kink

Word count: 8,3k

Song recs: needs by tinashe

A/N: the drought is over!!! I have posted. This is my kinktober thing bcs I've been too busy with life so I hope y'all like this even though it's a bit rushed. This can kinda be like a "the walls are thin" special episode if you will. Also tysm for 800 followers (even though I'm barely posting). Feedback is loved and appreciated 🤍🤍

"Can you please hurry up? The party started an hour ago," Jaemin yelled from the living room.

"Don't rush me. You want me to look nice right? Be patient," you yelled back, applying the red lipstick carefully. You checked your hair in the mirror one last time, fixing your lashes as you leaned into your vanity.

"I'm sure you look fine. Hurry, I want to get there before they run out of beer," Jeno yelled.

"Gosh, I'm coming," you said, grabbing your bag. You opened your room door, heels clicking as you walked out the both of them sitting on the couch. You stared at them, face contorting in confusion. "Cops? Really?"

They turned to you, staring at you for a little longer than they should've. Your outfit was definitely something beyond scandalous. Lace lingerie, fishnets, heels, and a headband. Jaemin swallowed hard, eyes scraping every inch of your body. The obscene 'costume' hugged your body like it was made for you. And your lips looked great in red. He always loved the color on you. Jeno didn't hide his emotions like Jaemin did though. He was always shameless. Letting you know how good you look even on days where you weren't very dressed up. Jeno had always been attracted to you. Both of them were, making being roommates with them very hard at times.

"That's your costume," Jaemin questioned, eyes scanning you once again stopping at your cleavage.

"Yes it is."

"And what are you supposed to be," Jeno continued.

"I'm a mouse," you said, pouting at the headband. "Duh."

Jeno chuckled at your answer, raking his hands through his hair as he stared at you. "If I were to guess, I'd probably say playboy model."

"Ha ha very funny," you mumbled. "Anyway, I'm ready. Are you both going to keep sitting there staring or do you wanna go?"

"Yeah, the party, right." Jaemin pulled out his phone, ordering Uber for the three of you. You all walk outside, standing in front of your apartment. Tonight, the biggest frat of your university was going to throw a Halloween party. They're known for having the best parties, so this one shouldn't be short of excitement. You were hoping and praying to get laid tonight after a 4 month dry spell. You needed action, no matter where you got it from.

Hopefully, your dream could come true. It shouldn't be that hard right? After all, it was Halloween.

-

You definitely were not gonna get laid tonight. Half of the frat is already piss drunk, the sports bros are hooking up or going home early, all the hot guys are with their girlfriends. It looked like luck was in fact not on your side. In moments like these you would nuzzle into one of your friends arms and complain but they were all off doing whatever for the night. Now it was just you and the red solo cup full of various alcoholic beverages mixed together. The drink was rancid, but it would have you loose in no time to help you get comfortable.

Funny thing about it was you'd probably never be comfortable. You definitely did not have the most outrageous outfit in the house, but the eyes that lingered on you made you feel like you did. This costume was completely out of your norm. Every other Halloween, Jeno and Jaemin would dress up as something funny, but this time you wanted to take a bit of a break. Now that break is costing you foot pain, forcing you to stand in the corner in 5 inch heels for an hour and a half.

You stopped your drink, trying your best to avoid the gaze of the men who migrated around the house. But there was one gaze you couldn't shake no matter how much you tried. Jaemin watched you from the other side, eyes scanning your body like they did hours prior. He was so attracted to you it made him crazy. This was probably the first time he felt like he needed you. There were times where he walked in on you accidentally, saw you in underwear, but nothing could compare to this.

You stood there, gorgeous as ever, in the sexiest clothes ever, tiny bits of skin peeking through the lace making his mind wild. And now that he had just the right amount of alcohol in his system, he could finally do something about it.

You didn't notice Jaemin walking towards you, so when you heard him speak, you jumped a bit.

"Y/N," he said, making you turn around.

"God, you scared me," you laughed. You watched him lean on the wall, one hand on his cup and the other in his pocket. His eyes hung low, lips curved into a smile as he stared at you.

"Ah, sorry. Didn't mean to." Jaemin sipped his drink, licking his lips as he continued to look at your cleavage. "I didn't tell you earlier but… you look great tonight."

The way his eyes went from your lips to your chest didn't go unnoticed. "You didn't have to tell me, you've been staring since we got here," you say. You thought that would probably throw him off his game but to your surprise, all he did was grin and laugh.

"So you noticed?"

"Of course I noticed. Everyone's been staring at me. Am I that naked," you question.

"Do you feel naked?"

"I do when you look at me like that," you laugh. Jaemin's eyes were always the thing that told you the most. He could've lied and said you look ridiculous but his expressions never lie. He didn't know, but you always felt vulnerable under his stare. Like he could do anything and everything. And you would definitely let him.

"If you wanna fuck me, just say so," you joke. You brought the cup to your lips, drinking the party battery acid. Your eyes were locked on his, the tension between you both becoming thicker and thicker by the second. For a minute, you forgot that you were in a room full of people because all you wanted to do was rip that costume off him and give him what he was begging for.

Jaemin watched you as you pulled the cup away from your lips, lipstick staining the plastic. A drop of the liquid remained on your lip, the sight making Jaemin swallow hard. All he could think about was that pretty lipstick being in places it shouldn't be. Jaemin reached up, tilting your chin to him softly as he took his thumb and wiped the drop.

Your stomach erupted in butterflies, heat spreading between your legs when he maintained eye contact. You didn't mean to, but you leaned into his touch, slightly gasping when he continued staring at you.

"Should I fuck you," he said out right.

Your heart beat sped up immediately, this sudden surge of confidence in him making you go crazy. That's when you noticed how close you both were. Jaemin's face was hovering right above yours, one more step and he would be kissing you. His lips looked so soft and inviting, so why not make it happen. You glanced at his lips then looked back at his eyes slowly getting sucked into his little game.

"Is this part of your whole police bit? Interrogating me like this,' you joke, trying to take some edge off the moment. "Are you going to arrest me if I don't answer?"

Jaemin didn't answer, just grinned. You always had a way of getting out of something and that something just so happened to be the sexual tension that's been brewing between the both of you for the longest. You couldn't deny that he looked good in the costume. And you always had a thing for men in uniform.

But instead of making a move, Jaemin simply backed away from you, eyeing you up and down. "I'm not doing this here," he mumbled, licking his lips.

"Do it," you said. "Do whatever you want." You swallowed hard, watching Jaemin watch you. You wanted him to just grab you and take you right here in the corner of the room. No one would notice anyway. Everyone was either high, drunk or in their own world.

Jaemin chuckled, licking his lips. "I'll see you later okay. Don't get too drunk." And with that he walked away, leaving you hot and needy.

-

Your body moved to the music, surrounded on all sides by people who also danced, talked and laughed. So far it's been a blast. Nothing crazy has happened except for some guy fighting another guy for scaring him too badly, two freshmans getting caught in a bedroom together, a girl projectile vomiting all over the living room. But other than that, it's been a smooth night.

You keep thinking about how you talked earlier with Jaemin. His sly look, the confidence in his eyes, the way he towered over you. God, he was so enticing.

You kept sipping your drink, the liquid falling into your stomach and heating your body at the same time when you felt someone come up behind you. They held your hips, body swaying with yours. "I thought you would never come back," you said, leaning into their body.

"I haven't seen you all night."

You looked behind you, only to see Jeno staring at you with his signature smile. "I thought you were Jaem," you said, turning around fully. You wrapped your arms around his neck as he continued to hold your waist, body dancing with yours to the music.

"Why are you always looking for him and not me," he whined playfully.

You laughed, fingers playing in his hair. You felt his hands tense and tighten on your hips, fingers slightly pressing into your sides. This is the closest you've probably ever been to him. Due to the nature of your outfit, it felt like his hands were on your skin, making your body heat up a little too fast. You tried to push the thoughts of his hands ripping off the outfit, forcing you down to your knees, swirling your cup of liquid behind his head. You took your arm from behind him, sipping it slowly.

"Gosh what made you think this costume was a good idea," he groaned, his cute grin making you giggle.

"Why didn't you and Jaem tell me you guys were gonna be cops? I could've been a cop too," you laugh.

"No one likes female cops."

"Not true. You haven't seen me as a female cop yet." The funny thing is that he did it last year. Except you bought a proper cop costume instead of a 'sexy' one. "Besides, I like this one. It was cheap."

"Clearly," he chuckled. His laugh was deep, radiating through your entire chest. That's when you noticed he wasn't even looking in your direction. Jeno was looking directly at your cleavage as your chest was pressed right against his. He slid his hands down your hips and behind, palms loosely cupping your ass. "What were you looking to achieve wearing this Y/N? Because whatever it was, it might be working."

You reached back, moving his hands back to your hips. "I'm trying to get laid, and I'm trying to do it with anyone that's not you."

Jeno raised a brow, giving you a dry laugh. "You're the only woman I know who wouldn't take the easy route."

"And what do you mean by that?"

"I mean," he leaned into your ear, lips brushing against the edge,"what kind of woman wouldn't wanna fuck two guys who clearly wanna fuck her and happens to live with?"

Jenos hands snakes back to your ass, gripping it hard. Your brows furrowed as you looked up at him, who remained as calm and collected as he did earlier. God it made you crazy. You were already wet from the interaction with Jaemin earlier, this one with Jeno just making you soaked.

"You're so rough, don't manhandle me," you whined, chest slightly pushing against his.

"Don't pretend you don't like it rough. 'Harder, faster'," he mocked. You've been a little less discreet than you would've liked in the past, leading to weeks and weeks of bullying by the two. "Your taste in men is horrible. If you have to keep telling them what to do, they're horrible."

"And if I fuck you and Jaem, what would that make me," you ask, tilting your head.

"Smart."

You laugh, taking another big sip from your cup. All Jeno could think about was how close you were to him. How close he is to ripping your lack of real clothes off. He just wanted you to admit that you've been thinking about it too, but he's fine if you didn't. He enjoyed the chase. He watched you place the cup on the coffee table that's next to you, fully immersing yourself in the conversation you were having with him. But Jeno wishes he could immerse himself the same as you. The way you look at him, the way you let your fingers graze his arms. You had no idea.

"Do you like the police costumes," Jeno asked you, content expression on his face.

You nod, moving your arms from around his neck and placing them on his shoulders. "Of course I do. You look hot," you complimented, grazing your fingers down his arms.

"Hot enough for you to fuck?"

You gave him a soft laugh, rolling your eyes. "Keep asking and it'll never happen."

"So you've considered."

You shook your head, avoiding the obvious answer but he knew you better than that. You thought about fucking him and Jaemin almost everyday. The thought of them bending you over, fist in your hair as they took you from behind plagued your once sane mind more times than you would like to admit. The feeling of their rough strong hands on your body, forcing you into any position possible. You couldn't help it. Living in such close quarters with them gave you the privileges of seeing things other women would kill to see. The Halloween costumes made it so much worse, the want for them to dominate you stronger than ever. Maybe you had a thing for power, but whatever it was was turning you into the most horny woman where you stood.

"Don't lie to me," he said quietly. Jeno gave you a smug smile as he leaned into your ear. "Instead of trying to fuck one of these losers, all you have to do is say the word and we'll be out of here."

A shiver ran down your spine feeling his breath on your ear. You needed him badly. You needed Jaemin badly, and you just knew you had to take the opportunity, but not without teasing him so much. Just before you spoke, you felt someone press against your back, whoever it was was not breathing into your neck.

"You guys are having fun without me?"

You gulped, Jaemin's deep whisper traveling right between your legs. Jeno moved his hands to your hips allowing Jaemin to place his own hands on your waist. His fingers played with the thin fabric, nails threatening to tip the thread with every pass. Jaemin pressed his semi hard cock in your ass while Jeno pressed his to your front, sending you into a spiral. You were forcefully sandwiched between your roommates, the air getting thick around you as people began to stare at the three of you.

"Guys people are starting to stare," you say, looking down to avoid eye contact with Jeno.

"And? They're just waiting for us to fuck you right in the middle of this floor. And I bet you're waiting for it too," Jaemin says in your ear, chuckling when you arched your ass on him. For a second it felt like no one was in the room. The music muffled in your ears, the faint feeling of jaemin's lips on your neck and Jeno's lips grazing against your lighting a fire in your chest.

"Stop teasing," you exhale.

"Do you want it as much as we want it," Jeno questioned, biting his lip as he stared at yours.

"Yes."

A wicked smile you couldn't see spread on Jaemin's face hearing your words. "This is gonna be a long night then."

-

The Uber ride consisted of nothing but kissing and touching. You were squeezed between the two men, their hands all over your body not giving a second to breathe. You find yourself kissing both of them at the same time, one or the other pulling you away when they feel they've been left out.

Jaemin's soft touch contrasted how strong his kisses were, his hand resting gently on the back of your neck as he kissed you. He wanted you to feel how much he wanted you, not just know. Jaemin didn't hide how horny he was for you due to the number of drinks he consumed at the party. He palmed himself, his cock straining against the pants of the costume.

Beside you, Jeno kissed neck, holding your waist tight he was pressed against you, sandwiching your body between the both of them. The scene was something straight out of a movie. The three of you are unable to keep your hands to yourselves as your driver tries his best to not watch in the front of the car.

You were in a complete daze, Jeno grabbing your chin gently, turning you to him. You moaned on his lips softly, turning your body to him. Jeno's hands went from your waist to your chest, gripping your breast generously. Jaemin kissed your neck down to your shoulder, his big strong hands making their way between your legs. You gasped softly feeling his thumbs rub your inner thighs dangerously close to your soaking heat.

"Fuck," you whispered, brows furrowing as you felt his thumb graze your clothed clit.

"It would only take me a second to rip this shit fabric off you," he whispered low enough so the driver couldn't hear. "Is that what you want?"

You nodded, gulping as Jeno's hands rubbed up your thighs. "Be patient, pretty. We're almost home," Jeno whispered, kissing the corner of your mouth. You wish you could calm down, but the way jeno's hands sooth you as Jaemin keeps rubbing his thumb dangerously close to your clit makes you feel insane.

You kissed Jeno, hand on his neck as he wanted into his mouth. Jaemin began stroking his thumb softly against your clit, his lips on the back of your neck. Jeno bit your lip softly, kissing you once more as you began to quietly moan. Your hips moved on their own, slightly beginning to grind on his thumb.

"You're such a cute whore, putting on a show for everyone," Jaemin whispered.

"Are you gonna punish me officer?"

Your lips curled into a smile hearing Jaemin's soft laughter. You thought he would be put off by the sentence but instead he whispered something else that made your thoughts run.

"The costume came with handcuffs. You wanna put them to use?"

You nodded, heart beating fast in your chest. Jeno took your chin between his fingers, kissing you softly, his tongue making its way into your mouth. Jeno wrapped his hand around your neck, squeezing it lightly making you moan softly into his mouth.

"U-uh, w-we arrived at your location," said the driver, who was silent the whole ride.

Jeno planted one more kiss on your lips softly, before turning to speak. "Thanks for the ride." The three of you got out of the car, Jeno stopping before walking to the entrance of your shared apartment.

"Mark is your name right?"

"Uh-huh," the driver said, nodding awkwardly.

"Thanks for the ride Mark, I'll give you a hefty tip."

The driver nodded and drove off, the deep red on his cheeks completely noticeable. Jeno walked back to you and Jaemin, who were already eating each other's faces in front of the door. "You two look like 2 drunk sorority girls," he laughed, pulling you away from the other male.

"Well, I'm trying to fuck like a drunk sorority girl so let's go inside," you said, closing your eyes as Jeno kissed your neck. The male chuckled and pulled you into the building followed by Jaemin. The elevator ride up was just as eventful as the car ride, hands and mouths all over you. The ding of the elevator snapped you out of whatever trance they had you in, but not them. They pulled you down the hall and to the door of your apartment, Jaemin's hand fumbling as he put the code into the door.

In the blink of an eye, the three of you were inside and the door was shut. Both of their hands were all over your body, not even giving you a chance to breathe. Jaemin grabbed your face, kissing you roughly. "Fuck I've been waiting for this all night," he mumbled.

"C-can we get to my bedroom at least," you said.

The both of them chuckled at your sudden flustered expression, following you to your room. Once again they didn't even give you time to breathe before they were all over your body. Jaemin pulled you to him, lips on yours as his hands gripped your waist. His hands moved to your tiny shorts, unbuttoning and unzipping the fabric. You kicked your heels off, height shifting but still keeping your lips on his. That's when you feel Jeno come up behind you, pressing himself on your body as he groped your breast from behind, kissing your neck softly.

Jaemin tugs your shorts down letting the fabric fall to the floor. You step out of the shorts, moaning softly when you feel Jeno's hand slip between your legs, cupping your clothed heat.

"Bet you've been thinking about this all night," he whispered in your ear.

You nodded, brows furrowing as Jaemin begins to kiss your neck. "Just fuck me already," you whined softly.

"You're desperate aren't you," Jaemin mumbled, chuckling as he undid the buttons of your body suit. The male pulled the fabric up your body, his fingertips grazing your bare skin lighting a fire in your belly. Jeno wasted no time getting his hand back between your legs, finding that you were wearing nothing but a thong with your tights.

"Jesus, you really were just trying to get fucked tonight weren't you." You closed your eyes, letting your head fall on Jaemin's shoulder taking in the feeling of Jeno rubbing your clothed clit. He smirked to himself watching you push onto his hand as he kept going. "What do you want right now, hm?"

"Anything," you said breathlessly. "Please.."

"Isn't that cute," Jaemin mumbled, chuckling softly. "But are you gonna be a good girl for the rest of the night?"

You groaned softly, rolling your eyes. "Please just fuck me," you whined.

"You didn't answer his question," Jeno chimed, fingers playing with your fishnets.

You wanted to say something else, but you realized they had the upper hand at the moment. You needed to have sex badly, and was so desperate to get something out of someone. And as much as it pained you to not pick a fight with them m, you obliged not just for your own sanity, but also because the thought of them telling you what to do was fucking hot.

"I'll be a good girl," you said reluctantly.

"Good," Jaemin smirked. "Get on your knees."

Both of their eyes never left you as you dropped to the ground slowly. Their bodies towered over you in the most degrading way and you loved it. You move your hands towards Jaemin's belt, undoing it all while staring up at him. His eyes were glued on you, along with Jeno's, who was undoing his belt and unzipping his pants. You tugged his pants down, allowing his hard on to spring free from the confines of the fabric.

"Shit," you whispered to yourself, staring at the size of him.

You look to your left to see Jeno was just a big, a gulp moving down your throat.

"What? You're scared," Jaemin mocked.

"Don't tell me you're a quitter Y/N," Jeno taunts, "we barely got started."

"Shut up," you grumbled. Your face grew hot, breath a little shallow as you wrapped your hand around the base of Jeno's cock, stroking it slowly as you turned to Jaemin's. Jaemin's heavily lidded eyes lingered on you, watching you as you licked the tip of his cock, staring at him with those big eyes he loved so much.

You wrapped your mouth around his head, sucking and bobbing your head slowly. The way he looked at you lit a fire in you, the fire traveling to your stomach and even lower, making you press your legs together. You lifted your mouth off him, wrapping your hand around his shaft as you turned to Jeno.

You licked up the base of his cock all the way to his tip, making the man scrunch his brows. He bit his lip, watching you close your eyes as you started to suck him off with a bit more vigor, hand moving on Jaemin at the same pace. Everything about this looked like it jumped straight out of a porno. You're still in half of your costume, Jaemin and Jeno dressed like cops with their pants to their ankles, both their cocks in your mouth.

"Good girl, keep going just like that," Jeno mumbled, hand stroking the back of your head.

The praise went right to your head and your cunt making you squeeze your legs tight. The way Jeno looked at you made you feel like he was about to eat you alive, and that's all you wanted. You pulled off of him, breathing heavily trying to catch your breath. Your hand stroked him fast as you turned to Jaemin, giving his neglected cock your attention.

You stuck your tongue out, tapping the tip on the wet muscle in the most teasing way possible. Jaemin watched you in awe as you kissed his tip softly, opening your mouth wide to take him. Jaemin licked his lips, enjoying watching you.

"Take all of it."

And you did, sinking lower and lower until all you could do was splutter around him, gagging as he hit the back of your throat. Jaemin took the back of your head, pushing you until your nose touched his skin. Eyes screwed shut, trying to be the best girl you possibly could below both of these men making you go crazy.

"Good girl," Jaemin cooed. "Take it like the slut you are."

Jaemin took his hand off your head, allowing you to rise from him. You coughed, heaving as you tried to get oxygen in your lungs but even that couldn't stop you from spitting on his cock and taking him in your mouth again. You bobbed your head, hand pumping Jeno at the same pace you had no idea how you looked but it couldn't have been anything short from a mess.

However, to the men standing above you, you looked like a wet dream. On your knees, hands on both of them, tears straining your face, drool falling from your pretty lips.

"Fuck, just look at her," Jeno grunted, thrusting into your hand slowly as you stroked him. You stopped bobbing your head, pulling his cock out your mouth and turned back to Jeno. They were both so close and you could tell. You could feel it in the way they were talking, breathing, thrusting in your mouth or hands. Jeno raked his hand through his hair, throwing his head back at the feeling of you deepthroating him, a loud groan leaving his lips.

"I'm so fucking close," Jeno moaned, the sound of his voice making you weak.

"C'mon baby, make us cum." Jaemin breathing heavily along with the male across from him, watching you with focused eyes as you removed Jeno from your mouth, not just stroking them in your hands quickly.

Looking up at them, your doe eyes shifted rapidly between them, wanting them to cum badly. "Please," you spoke with a breathy moan, voice raspy. "Cum on my fucking face."

Your voice sent them both over the edge, the pressure building up in both of them resulting in your cum landing all over your face. You stuck your tongue out, catching both of their seed swallowing and sticking it out again to show them.

"Good girl," Jaemin praised. "such a good girl. Stand up for me pretty."

You did as you were told, letting go of their cocks as you rose to your feet, knees sore from being on them too long. Jaemin pulled you to him, lips crashing on yours. Behind you, you felt Jeno's hand snake underneath you, popping the buttons of the body suit. You moaned softly, feeling his hands pull the fabric up your stomach. He traced his fingers on your ass, giving you neck slow wet kisses.

You pulled away from Jaemin, reaching back for Jeno as you felt his fingers graze your inner thighs once more.

"I let me taste you," he said, ensuing an enthusiastic nod from you. Jeno took you, sitting you on the edge of your bed followed by him sinking to his knees right in front of you. You thought about this happening more times than you'd like to admit. But now here he is, spreading your legs wide for him, eyes unable to look away from your soaked thong and slick thighs. You were a mess and don't even know.

"Fuck," Jaemin breathed. "You like being on your knees that much?" Jaemin sat next to you, stroking his semi soft cock as he watched Jeno tease you.

Jeno kissed your inner thighs, tongue grinding along your skin licking your arousal. His eyes never left yours. They pierced into yours as if they could read every thought you had at the moment. A shiver ran through your spine as you circled his tongue on your clothes clit, hand reaching up and pulling the thong against the sensitive bud.

"Perfect little pussy just for me," he mumbled to himself, pushing the fabric aside.

"God we should've done this a long time ago," Jaemin mumbled.

Jeno gave you clit one lick, making your body shudder, a sigh falling from your lips. He did it again, this time harder and longer. Jeno wrapped his arms around the underside of your legs, placing soft kisses on your cunt. Jaemin turned your head to him, locking lips with you as Jeno began to eat you out with vigorous tongue moving all over.

Jaemin kissed you deeper, tongue exploring your mouth as his hand kept pumping his cock. Jaemin pulled away, smirking to himself as he looked at your cum covered face. "So fucking pretty," he mumbled, kissing the corner of your mouth.

Your moans grew, panting heavily as Jeno sucked your clit, flicking his tongue on the bud. Looking down at him, you couldn't help but get even more turned on. His mouth was covered in your slick, tongue moving inside you like crazy. Your hips began to move on its own, grinding on his face. You always loved his nose, especially right now. His nose continued to stimulate the swollen bud as he licked at your entrance.

"Fuck Jeno, oh my God," you whimpered, pleasure amplified by Jaemin's lips on your neck.

"Is this pretty pussy gonna cum for me," he mumbled, flicking his tongue on your clit fast. Jeno removed his arm from around your leg, hand immediately making its way in-between your legs. In the blink of an eye, his fingers were inside you, fingering you hard and fast.

"Jeno, fuck just like that," you whimpered, body starting to shake from the intense pleasure. He never took his eyes off you, lips wrapping around your clit once again, sucking it hard.

"F-fuck, you're gonna make me cum." You ran your hand through his hair, gripping it tight as you pulled his face closer to your body. Just as you felt yourself about to cum, Jaemin took your chin, kissing you messily. You moaned loudly into the other male's mouth, sucking his tongue as you whined, feeling yourself cum around Jeno's fingers.

You sat there panting as Jaemin cupped your face, trying to catch your breath and whatever piece of mind was still there as Jeno moved his fingers from inside you.

"You did so good Y/N," Jeno praised, standing up between your legs. "Open your mouth for me."

You did, dropping your jaw on command. No man has ever been able to dominate you in the way that these two have, but you love it. You were fuzzy, completely fucked out. You just wanted to be a good girl for them. Jeno looked down at you, taking in the absolute mess that you were and reveled in it. The amount of times he's jerked off to this couldn't compare to being here at the moment. You were a tease and knew it. He couldn't wait to wreck you.

Jaemin watched Jeno grab your jaw and spit in your mouth, sticking his fingers coated in your cum down your throat right after. Almost like you've done this a thousand times more, you sucked his fingers, staring up at him with begging eyes.

"Fuck if I knew you were like this I would've fucked you a long time ago," Jaemin mumbled. You pulled off his fingers, nothing but a string of saliva connecting your bodies till it broke.

"I need both of you inside me," you said, face hot at the thought.

"At the same time," Jaemin questioned. Both of the men glanced at each other, silently communicating.

You nodded, gulping as you stared at them with desperate eyes. "Please.."

Jeno sighed, laughing softly to your begging. He began to unbutton his shirt, the sight of his fingers moving setting your body on fire. "God, I love it when you beg."

You turned your head, Jaemin already out of his shirt. He removed his shoes, kicking his pants and boxers off his ankles. His hands then tugged on your bodysuit taking the sheer fabric off of you as lifted your arms. Then went your bra, Jaemin sliding it off your shoulders kissing the back of your neck softly. He took his shirt, wiping the cum that covered your face off, making you sigh in relief.

"Face down ass up," Jaemin said, tone more assertive than before.

You did as you were told, arching your ass in the air watching them watch you. Their eyes burned holes in your skin, smiles taunting you as you let them feel up your body.

"Where's your lube," Jeno questioned, raising a brow.

"Third drawer."

But before Jeno even pulled it out, Jaemin had already decided he was ready. You sighed softly, feeling his soft lips on the plush of your ass, his hands kneading your body like a stress ball. Jaemin never realized how unintentionally rough he was, how strong he was and it annoyed you except for this time. Your already sensitive cunt grew even more aroused as he squeezed harder. Jaemin smacked your ass hard, making your body jump.

"Has anyone ever eaten your ass before," he asked, his voice sounding darling from behind you.

Your face goes hot, gulping as you shake your head "no."

"There's a first time for everything."

The sensation that went through your body when his tongue touched your asshole was unexpected. Maybe you were simply too horny to function, but it actually felt good. Jaemin licked your backend again, this time starting from your pussy. Unintentionally, you pushed against his face more earning a hard smack on your ass once again.

"Fuck," you whispered, brows scrunched together. His tongue swirled around the tight muscle, eliciting yet another whine from your lips. Jeno stroked his cock, watching the both of you, precum already dripping. Jaemin was as hard as a brick, precum leaking down his tip as buried his face in your body. "J-Jaemin, this feels so good."

"Yeah?" He chuckled darkly, staring at you like you were his prey. He felt your body tremble in his hands when you felt his spit slide down your ass without warning. Jaemin rubbed the pad of his thumb on your puckered hole as he reached over to grab the lube. With one hand he opened it, squeezing its contents on your body. "You sure you want this," he asked, lids heavy with desire.

"Y-yes."

Jaemin took his finger, rubbing the lube a bit more before you gasped softly, feeling his finger move past the tight muscle. The deeper and deeper he pushed his finger, the harder your hands gripped the cover of your bed. The feeling was new, completely foreign and it would definitely take time before you got used to it. Your eyes were screw shut, the discomfort of him thrusting his finger in and out of you making your back hunch and whine tiredly.

"I know it feels strange but you'll start feeling good, I promise," he said softly.

And he was right, because after some time, that fire in your belly started to come back making you pant softly against your pillow. Your body becomes more relaxed, your brain adjusting the prior discomfort to pleasure. But you wanted more, needed more.

"A-add another finger," you mumbled, making Jeno bite his lip as he watched you.

Jaemin smirked, doing as you said. You gave him the reaction he expected. He loved your pretty sounds so much they gave him goosebumps. You were right around his fingers, the pressure making his cock leak. He popped the cap of the lube open, adding more.

"You're doing so well baby. Does it feel good," he said, voice sultry and sweet.

"Mhm." You could barely form real sentences, your brain too fogged in pleasure. You found yourself arching into his fingers more and more as he fingered you slowly. Jaemin's other hand massages your ass, adding more to the pleasure swimming all over your body. The room was silent with sounds of heavy breathing and the sound of Jaemin's fingers slipping in and out of you. That was until he slipped another finger in you without warning, making you whine loudly.

"F-fuck, it's too much," you whined.

"If you can't take three fingers, you can't take my cock," he said smoothly. "Don't tell me you're quitting Y/N."

"N-no," you managed to get out.

"Good," he mumbled. "Do you think you can take Jeno and my fingers at the same time?"

You nodded, gulping hard at the image you created in your head. "Yeah," you answered breathlessly. You lifted your body weakly, letting out a tiny whine as Jaemin pulled out his fingers. Jeno climbed underneath you, his head plopping down on your pink pillow. His hands ran up and down your sides, trying to soothe your sensitive body.

"God you're so pretty," he mumbled, staring at you from below. You hadn't seen yourself since you got out of the car, but you could only assume he was lying. Your lipstick was probably smudged everywhere, mascara running along your cheeks. You were anything but pretty, but his words still made you blush. "I would put a condom on, but I have no idea where you keep those."

"I don't have any," you said blankly, just now realizing your lack of protection. "But… I don't mind. As long as it's okay with you guys."

Jeno didn't say a word, only giving you a look like he's been dreaming of this moment. He thought about it all the time, fucking you nice and raw. The thought of having your tight cunt around him was about to make him spiral. Jeno took his cock, rubbing the tip along your slit slowly.

He grinned, watching your brows knit at the feeling. "You want me to fill you up real bad don't you," he taunted, rubbing your clit softly.

"Yes, I want you to stretch me. Please," you whined, begging for him with a hot face. You let out a breathy moan, feeling his tip slowly enter you. Jeno let your hips do the rest of the work, groaning when you fully sat on his cock. "Jeno, you're so big," you moaned, mindlessly beginning to grind on him. Your hands curled on his chest, the stretch he was giving you overstimulating your senses but you couldn't help yourself.

Suddenly, you felt two strong hands grab your hips and still them. "You're so eager you can't even wait," Jaemin said with a small laugh. He kneeled behind you, forcefully pushing your body down against Jeno, making you arch your back. That's when Jeno wrapped his arms around you keeping you still as Jaemin added more lube. You shivered feeling the cold substance on your skin, hissing as his fingers filled your asshole once again.

Your body is on fire, Jeno filling your pussy while Jaemin plays with your ass. The vulnerability of the position, the way both of their eyes burned into you as you laid there weak and unable to have a single coherent thought only turned you on even more. Jeamin pumped his fingers in you while Jeno thrusted in you slowly, the discomfort beginning to melt away as time passed. His dick was painfully hard, wanting to do nothing but ravage your body.

"You think you're ready," he said, chuckling when seeing your fucked out expression.

"Y-yes, fuck me please."

Jaemin moved closer to you, pulling his fingers out at you smoothly. Picking up the lube, he added a generous amount. You bite your lip hard looking, Jeno unwrapping his arms from around you allows you to look over your shoulder. Jaemin pressed the head of his cock against your hole, his eyes droopy in lust. Jaemin pushed the head of his cock into you, the stretch making you screw your eyes shut, nails digging into Jeno's chest.

"I love first timers," Jaemin groaned. His brows furrowed deep, gripping your hips. Very slowly, he fills you, the tightness making the three of you moan. You were in a daze, body gone completely limp and weak. You never felt so full in your life and you loved every second of it. The only thing you could do was take deep breaths, as Jaemin bottomed out inside of you. Tears pricked the edges of your eyes as you let your face fall into the crook of Jeno's neck.

"You're doing so good baby," Jeno whispered in your ear, his hands traveling to your ass, squeezing your body hard.

The action made you clench, giving both men a chill up their spines. "Fuck," you whimpered softly. "So full..t-too much.."

"Shh baby you can do it," he moaned softly, hips starting to rock into yours slowly. "Take it Y/N. Be a good girl and take it."

With every rock of his hips, it caused your body to move also, adding a slight bounce on Jeno's cock. You couldn't even compute the feeling flowing through your body. All you could do was lay there weak as they filled every part of you, drooling and moaning uncontrollably. Jeno turned your head to him, kissing you lazily as he began to thrust in and out of you slowly along with Jaemin.

Your breathing quickened, hands moving from his chest to his shoulders. "Oh my God," you whimpered tearfully. Your body was completely overstimulated, overwhelmed with lust.

"Poor baby, she's crying," Jeno said, chuckling darkly.

"Wanted both of us at the same time, but can barely handle it." Jeamin spread your cheeks further watching both his and Jeno's dick move in and out of you. "So fucking pretty and tight for me. You've been waiting for this haven't you."

Absent-mindedly, you nod, the only thing in your brain is pleasing them.

"Good girl," Jaemin said in a slight whisper. "Every time you cum from now on, I want it to be from my cock in your ass. Understand?"

"Y-yes," you said in a small groan.

"Good girl." A hard smack landed on your ass check, the pain quickly turning into pleasure. Jeno was beginning to get impatient, the feeling of Jaemin practically rubbing right against him, the tight and snug fit of the both of you quickly about to make him cum.

"Faster," you whine. "B-both of you, please." Both men obliged your pleading, watching you throw your head back, eyes rolling back while you moaned in controllably. Your hips pushed against the both of them, desperate for them to be seeing inside you.

"Such a fucking cock slut," Jeno said through gritted teeth, his hands trailing down your arched back. "You like having two dicks in you don't you?"

"Y-yes," you said, gasping, feeling a pair of fingers on your neglected clit. Looking at your bodies, you see Jeno's fingers rubbing it fast. You were nowhere near cumming, but now you felt it. You felt the pit in your stomach grow. "I'm gonna cum," you moaned, tears threatening to escape again.

"Cum on my cock." Jeno's voice sent a shockwave through you, your orgasm coming to you almost violently, body shaking, nails digging into his shoulders as you held onto him. Your pussy clenched tight around him, making you clench just as tight around Jaemin, who was pressing his fingers into your sides. For the first time in a long time, you came so hard you saw starts and it felt real fucking good.

"Fuck, you take me so well," Jeno groaned. He lost all self control after feeling you cum around him, thrust started to get fast. Jaemin matched his speed, making your already weak body slump over on the man below you. Your face was buried in his neck once again, whimpers and whines escaping.

Jaemin pounded into you as Jeno went deeper, every single movement making you see stars, your brain going fuzzy with pleasure.

Jaemin watched you sit up as best as you could, looking back watching both of them stuffing you like a doll. He took one glance at your wet face, hands gripping hips hard when the sight made his mind reel. That's when he felt himself coming closer and closer to his orgasm. Everything stimulated him quickly, the way you felt to the way you looked on top of Jeno, he was going to cum quickly.

"Fuck I'm so close," he groaned. "You want me to cum in your ass?"

"Yes, yes cum in me," you moaned weakly.

With a few more thrust, you felt Jaemin cum, his loud breathy moans filling your ears. Jaemin kept thrusting, riding out the high until he couldn't take it anymore. Slowly he pulled out of you, breathing heavily as he stared at your gaping asshole, cum slowly leaking out.

In an instant, you wanted him back inside you, missing the feeling of being full, but Jeno didn't let you miss it for too long. The man took your hips in his rough hands, holding your body up as he fucked up into you.

"J-jeno, fuck, right there," you sobbed, throwing your head back. You mustered up enough energy to bounce along with his thrust, your orgasm finally approaching for the third time that night. You squeezed around him tight, making the man moan loudly."Cum in me," you whined, holding onto his shoulders. "Fill me up."

His hands slid from your hips to your ass, squeezing so hard it was going to leave a bruise. "You like this? You like being fucked like a whore?"

"Mhm," you nodded. Desperate to reach your climax you start bouncing on him as he pounds into you. Soon enough you begin to feel your stomach tighten, on the brink of cumming. "Fuck, I-im cumming."

You came hard, body shivering on top of the male underneath you. Soon Jeno came with a loud moan, the warm liquid making your brows furrow. The three of you were exhausted, bodies completely spent– especially yours. Jeno was still inside you when you plopped down on his body, heart beating and trying to catch your breath even though you had minimal movement.

"Hey you alright," Jaemin said, poking at your back.

You didn't respond, your brain still fried from the high you just got. You laid on Jeno silently, tuning everything out.

"I think we broke her," Jeno jokes. His hands caress your waist, taking in the breaths fanning his neck. Jeno thrusted into you, earning a breathy moan.

"Too sensitive," you managed to say.

Jeno chuckled softly, kissing your cheek tenderly. "You did a good job Y/N. God you're so pretty when you cum."

"She looks like she's about to pass out," Jaemin commented, gazing at your expression.

He was right you were exhausted, horny, and one hundred percent not ready for the pain you were going to have in the morning. You gave Jeno a small whine when he pulled out of you, laying you next to him on the bed. You felt him run his hand on your side, looking at him with begging eyes as he rubbed your waist.

"You can't look at me like that and not say what you want," he mumbled, licking his lips.

"Kiss me," you said quietly, slightly pouting.

Jeno gave you a small smile, kissing you softly like you asked. "Let's get you cleaned up okay?"

Jeno stood up followed by Jaemin. Jaemin tugged your limp body to the corner of the bed, putting his arms under you to lift you up. You wrapped your arms around his neck, hugging him close to your body.

"So fucking cute," he mumbled. "Wanna watch a movie later?"

You shook your head, eyes getting heavy as he carried you to the bathroom. "I just wanna take a bath and sleep."

"Okay we can work with that," Jeno agreed.

You laughed to yourself in your drowsy state, biting your lip softly. "This has officially been the best Halloween ever."

[bunny-jpeg]

🎀 can i get a pithivier and angel food cake and croissant nanaimo bars (but also a pull-apart bread bc i’m a softy) with a side of a martini and an early grey 🤭 for daniel ricciardo pretty please ❤️❤️

bakery menu

want to submit an order? then check out the menu! there is all kinds of things on there! thank you in advance and enjoy! as for this lovely anon, thank you so much for the order! i hope you love what i've come up with! with the cherry on top of the pull-apart bread! AND the mafia au, this was a lovely order to write. i hope it's amazing! so yes! enjoy!!

pithivier ("if you don't behave, i'll let the boys take care of you.") + angel food cake ("if he fucks with me again, i'm finishing inside of you.") + croissants ("i wonder if your father knows what happens during the off hours. if he knows you're here with me.") + nanaimo bars ("who's my pretty girl? c'mon say it.") + pull-apart bread ("i love you") + martini (mafia au) + earl grey tea (big cock) served by daniel ricciardo (formula one)!!

cw: smut/pwp, mafia au, big cock!daniel, wolff!reader, mafia boss!daniel, mafia boss daughter!reader, affection

the wolf and her moon. the smiling moon that led her from the pack and into the arms of one of the scariest men on the continent. in the glimmering lights of monaco, miss wolff spent her evenings with mister ricciardo, the head of a prominent mafia family.

you were not scared of that life, your adoring father was toto wolff. you had been surrounded by the life for as long as you could remember. you remembered being driven to school by men in dark suits. you remembered going on dates as a teen and seeing the same men in shady corners near where you were. even now as an adult the cloak of your father felt close.

which was why it took a fair bit to get close to daniel ricciardo.

you had been with daniel for a few months now. there was something about him that simply pulled you in. you knew he was a dangerous man, you once spent a night in france with him and mapped out his tattoos with your lips.

he treated you like you were capable, that you weren't something to be protected. even though he did have a habit of keeping a hand on your lower back and opening doors for you. you've only ever once paid for a meal and he loved when you wore the things he bought for you.

currently you were in his home, you just had dinner and were enjoying each other's company. daniel's thick fingers were in your hair as you laid out next to him. the lights were low and you both weren't pay attention to the movie he had put on. you knew it was a marvel movie, but you stopped paying attention to them ages ago.

"i wonder if your father knows what happens during the off hours. if he knows you're here with me." daniel said out loud.

you sighed and pressed yourself further against him and looked up at him, "my father doesn't matter right now. he's off doing whatever tonight."

he rubbed the back of your head and said jokingly, "well you know, if he fucks with me or the family again, i'm finishing inside of you." then kissed you on the face.

you pulled away a little, "i've been hearing all about this power vacuum. should i be worried that you'll do something to my father."

daniel pulled you in once more and peppered your face with kisses, "never. after all, he'll eventually be my father-in-law." and watched you duck your head in embarrassment. he laughed, "i want the satisfaction of him walking you down the aisle.

you rolled your eyes and kissed him all over the face, "i just want both of you safe." you got into his lap and held onto his face. the kiss deepened with his strong arms around you.

when he pulled away he said, "i promise." then pulled you onto your back and kissed you once more, "i can't have my future wife without her husband." he chuckled and stroked your face.

you melted every time he called you that. you sometimes wondered if he was already picking out rings and if you were brought up in backroom conversations between him and your father.

he peppered kissed along your jaw and felt a pull of affection towards you, "i love you."

you giggled and stared up at him, you felt a blush in your cheeks. you felt a thump in your chest and love that dripped into your soul. you joked, "for a mafia boss, you're a big softie."

he rolled his eyes, "what do you want me to say? if you don't behave, i'll let the boys take care of you? never. i love you too much." then kissed at you softly.

you melted a little more, honey in your soul, "you big sap!" you slapped his chest playfully and he pulled you in for a massive kiss.

"yeah, but you're my pretty girl." he want in for another kiss and said slyly, ""who's my pretty girl? c'mon say it."

you burst into laughter and squirmed under him. he soon had the bottom of your tank top off over your head and his hands on your breasts.

"c'mon, beautiful. who is my pretty girl? who is the girl who lights me alive and fills me full of love." he kissed at your face with his hands on your breasts. he palmed at the flesh and you arched your back.

you moaned and he started to work on getting your sweatpants off. in all fairness they originally belonged to him, but you told him that women's sweatpants sucked. "if i'm wearing sweatpants, i don't wanna look sexy!" but he thought you looked sexy in his pair.

you reached out for him and placed your palms across his covered chest. he was in a white tank top and similar grey sweats (the other pair he had to buy). you could see the thin gold chair he wore.

it was a hot sight, especially as he got the tank top off and exposed his toned chest to you. you exhaled deeply through you nose and said, "fuck you're hot. my entire life i thought that the mafia were a bunch of busted nose with a fat lip goons who enjoyed beating the shit out of random people." that was what your father told you about men who worked for the families as a means to steer you away from them. he wanted you to be with a man with a white collar job.

"well." daniel chuckled as he rubbed his clothed cock up against your panties, "you've seen me with a fat lip, two broken noses and a broken foot."

"it wasn't broken per say. you did have to get those stitches."

daniel chuckled, "damn verstappen, dropping that wine bottle on it." he got himself out of his briefs and you out of your panties. he admired the sight of your sweet cunt exposed in the soft lighting of the bedroom.

you swallowed at the sight of his cock out of his underwear. daniel had a big cock, you remember the first time you saw it and your eyes got wide. it still left a shiver through it you even now, but you were a little more accustomed to its size.

daniel got closer to you, his chest against yours as he took you by the hips. with a little work, he sank his cock into you. you let out a sweet moan and daniel felt a flash of heat in his chest.

"mmm, beautiful."

you smiled up at him and reached for his face. you pulled him in to a soft kiss and ran your fingers across his chest. his heartbeat was home.

your arms wrapped around him as he thrusted up into you. the two of you moved together, daniel's gaze lingered on you. from your beautiful eyes to your soft lips. the shape of your face and any little 'imperfections' across your skin. he thought it was all beautiful, he tried not to leer at your breasts. you were a person, not meat for him to ogle at.

you held onto him as he continued to move. you could felt lustful flames lick at you core. your back arched a little when his cock prodded up against some of your softest areas.

daniel was a generous lover, he loved the feeling of you. his kisses lingered, wet against your face and neck. you two were wound up into one another as he moved his hips against yours.

from two mafia families, put together. fitting together like puzzle pieces. if anyone from either of your family saw this sexual display, heads would roll.

but you and daniel didn't care. you wanted one another in a way that left you both feeling lot. it wasn't just a sexual heat, but something deeper. something that made you yearn for the other man.

when you looked at him, you felt special. you were a special girl in many ways, not only because of your father's name. you were smart, funny, had friends, and overall were a delight to be about. you had hobbies and aspirations. you were one of a kind, but when daniel looked at you. it sent it all into overdrive, to daniel you were the most important thing on this earth.

you knew with enough convincing, you two could leave the mafia life behind together. run off to the mountains of switzerland and have three children.

daniel kissed you once more, they were hot and heavy as your hands explored one another. you could almost feel your lover's heartbeat.

when he pulled away, he rested his forehead against yours, "one day i'm going to marry you. and i can't wait. you're going to make a beautiful wife for me."

"what about-"

"it'll work out." he pulled his face a little bit and he winked at you. he plants his hands on either side of you and continued to thrust up into you.

you clutched onto his shoulders and he moved faster. you felt the flush of heat through your chest at the feeling and sight of your beloved. this was where you wanted to be. with daniel.

daniel continued to move against you. he shifted your hips and got your knees to your head. he thrusted against you from the perfect angle. a proper mating press for a proper girl.

it only heightened the pleasure, to have you lover hit all the right spots. you moaned and clutched onto the back of your knees as he moved against you. he kissed you once more before you came around his cock. your pretty nails dug into your flesh as he moved against you. the intensity of it made daniel finish as well.

his cum shot into the furthest parts of you as he continued to rock against you. his pulse shot through the roof and sweat made his back shiny. the rush was like a shock to his system. he held you in his arms and rolled to the side.

you laid there naked, daniel's arms around you and eventually your face was in his chest. you felt the after feelings of pleasure and laid tangled up in the man you loved.

he kissed the side of your head and you felt warm. loved.

-

"sonnenschein." your father greeted you in his home office a few days later. you stepped into the room and closed the door behind you. your father gestured to the chair across from him.

you sat gently across from him, straightened your skirt. you then looked at your father once more and asked, "is everything okay?"

"of course. no need to worry." was a common phrase from your father. it made you give him a look and he gave a similar one in return. "you know i care for you, right?" toto said, his hands on the desk. he idly straightened out the mat under his palms. your father seemed nervous, your father was never nervous.

you shifted in your seat, "what's happening, papa." your eyebrows raised and there was a tightness in your chest.

toto sighed, eyes looked away for a moment, "things have gotten complicated in the network of all the families. there is a struggle for power. i fear something is coming and i need to protect you, sonnenschein...."

"are you sending me away?"

"no, no... you'll stay here. of course. i don't want you to feel like a pawn in these games. but, i need the biggest favor from you."

you nodded, "anything."

toto leaned back in his chair and held eye contact with you. the man who taught you how to ride a bike and a shoot a gun. who told you that dreams were only possible if the work was put into it. he had raised a confident young woman. which was why it broke his heart to say, "i need you to be in an arranged married with daniel ricciardo."

your eyes went wide and your heart skipped a beat. you put on a performance of a lifetime as you said to your father, "of course! anything for our family." <3

[unluckilyimnot]

do you know who much am i in love with tsundere man ???

i wanna kiss raichi's face sooo bad, with lipstick on, all over his face, until he tripped over his words and is all blushyy

don't forget cuddles and sitting on his lap like AAAAA

i love your loki and sae's making out writings btw 🫶 can u do the same thing but with raichi but in this version?

making out - raichi, isagi

mlist || rules || requests are open :)

note : thank you sm for your request, both of you ! they're so cute, as you should queen (in a neutral way) i love them a loooot too. i post this Isagi one at the same time bc i did them with a similar vibe

I've been busy these day im sorry ! And I have a busy weekend as well with my gf so I'll do as much as I can today and post it later !

Raichi acts tough but deep down he knows he can’t fool anyone when you order him around.  You two invited some of your friends over tonight to have a nice dinner together and you kept calling his name to get things done. He tried to boss around a little at the beginning, saying he was talking with the tip of his ears red but you just had to whine a little please for him to be by your side in a second. He's the grumpy type, but still ready to help whenever he's asked  to. 

He spent the whole night eyeing you from head to toes. His hand lingering on your thigh below the table and your seemingly innocent gaze let him know you get where he wanna go. He's a little impatient but that's nothing you can't handle.

When you finally say goodbye to your last friends, you stretch your back as soon as the door is closed. 'What a night' you thought, excepting Raichi around you but he was nowhere to be seen. Taking a few steps to the kitchen to find him cleaning up a little. Leaning against the door frame, you stared at him until he noticed you.

"You're less clingy suddenly." You spoke as soon as his eyes lay on you, a cute smile on your lips. Lips that got his attention all night. He shook his head, muttered things you couldn't understand but still amused. 

"Come on, leave all of this. I'll take care of that tomorrow." Taking his head in yours, you dragged him along your bedroom and kindly pushed him on the bed. "You weren't that concerned about the dishes earlier," you whisper in his ear, slowly taking a seat in his laps.

Cuddling up against him, you played with his hair while debriefing the night with him. Your arms lay around his neck and, despite his red cheeks, his hands finally hold you closer, rubbing your back in a needy way. His eyes on your lips once again, you're sure it's already messed up so you don't mind making it worse. 

When Raichi finally cuts your chat by kissing you like he wanted all night, the shadow of a satisfied grin on your lips. You broke the kiss and chuckled. 

"What's so funny ?" He barked like he always does, making you laugh even more. 

"Nothing, you're just cute." You answered, shutting him up with a kiss before he can argue. Pecking his face over and over again, all over his face not without leaving a red tint at the same time. His poor soul can't even speak a full sentence without stutter before grabbing your face and kissing you again. 

You deepen the kiss instantly, done joking around and finally into it. You put his hands back on your back and thigh, feeling his short nails digging into your skin and you're here for it. It's intoxicating, you're lost in the way his tongue licks your lips, making you smile. You didn't realize how both of you wanted it too until now. 

Your hand slowly drawing circles on his shoulders, you were thinking when you could finally take his shirt off when you felt his hands coming closer to the zip of your dress. He started pulling it down, exposing your bare back for him and only him. You glared at him in an amused way. 

“I'm helping you.” He defended, putting his hands away from you to try to annoy you in some way. You shook your head with a loud chuckle. 

“Go ahead.” you said before pushing him down on the bed, kissing him again. 

Isagi is too cute for his own good, you’re sure of it. He can’t be rude to save his life. Well, besides football. With you he’s a sweetheart, always saying yes to anything you ask, even the weirdest things. So you like to mess with him a little. A sly smile forms on your lips before you hand your phone away.

“Yoichi I wanna try something !” you cheered, leaning on his shoulder, taking a look at his phone. He wasn’t really doing anything, only scrolling through his social media.

“What is it ?” he’s used to that, you wanted to try silly thing you saw on internet. You’re always after him to try tiktok trend, he’s sure it’s that once again. You grinned, taking his phone from his hands and tossing it nearly yours before sitting in his laps. You already got him gulped hard. Not that he’s not used to it, it’s even a position you like to cuddle but something in his mind tells him that’s not related to cuddle.

His hands find your waist, laying there comfortably, waiting for your next move. You get closer, your chest flat against his and you take his warm cheeks between your hands. He blinks a few times, already anticipating but flustered at the same time - not trusting that smile of yours. You cradle his face a little, pitching his cheeks and leaving small pecks here and there, on his cheeks, his nose and finally his lips.

“What do you wanna tryyy ?” he whined trying to escape the kisses attack but you shush him quickly, kissing him seriously this time. He takes some time to melt into the kiss, pulling you closer. You shiver at the coldness of his cold hands crawling under your shirt, meeting your warm skin and you smile in the process. His hands go up and down, smoothing your skin, grabbing it a little too hard from time to time, making you moan but mostly chuckle.

“You’re so cute Yoichi.” you purred in the middle of the kiss, leaving small pecks on the corner of his lips.

“Am I ?” he grinned, happy to realize one more time the effect he has on you. It’s easier for you to know how he feels so he appreciates it when you vocalize it. You can already feel him hard under your weight and decided it wasn’t too early to grind on him, wanting him so bad already. Just so he knew, you know.

Taking this as a green light, his lips started going down your neck to your shoulders, kissing it all the way, biting from time to time just to feel your hand pulling his hair at the tingling sensation. He loves that a lot, sometimes he’s a little brutal just for you to pull his hair or scratch his skin at the pleasure. He likes to mess around too, not that he’ll tell you. He likes the way your gaze darkens when he acts innocent. He has his way.

Coming back to kiss you after almost eating your shoulder, one of his hands stays on your hip, encouraging you to move in a back and forth motion ; hoping he will not be the first one to ask for more. But deep down, he knows he won’t or else you wouldn’t almost be riding him already. You were the desperate one this time, but it’s ok. He likes to take care of you.  

I hope you liked it ! ♡

[l223m0nade]

Bees (a stucky au snzfic)

ok

ok ok

so I saw this random thing on a tumblr post:

and it got its Stucky-idea hooks so deep in my brain. It just did. And the thing is my deepest inspo is honestly in the land of snz. (This fic kind of ends abruptly sorry but i want to do more and it'll probably end up on Ao3 w like a M or E rating 😳🫣 when and if that happens i'll link to it)

Stucky au, no powers, age gap, what I'm picturing in my head goes less with the words "silver fox Steve" and more with the words "dorky Dilf Steve" like 2012 Cap fashion with current Chris Evans face? in..a good way? and longhair early-20s burnout Bucky. I have some backstory headcanons that are just hinted at here, hopefully it's tantalizing rather than confusing.

anyway have 11.5k words of this and encourage me to write more bc i have fallen in love with these particular boyz. Some light existential angst but mainly idiots pining aka the sweetest sauce

~Fic~

Sam isn’t sure how much longer he can allow this to go on. His barback and the new semi-regular square dude are once again being all awkwardly flirty while pretending they’re not, like two sad lonely white...ducks, who never learned a mating dance and have zero game.

At least Square Dude has an excuse: he’s the most obvious newly-divorced newly-out family-type guy Sam’s ever seen. He’s clean-cut, with a ridiculously handsome square jaw, wearing well-made but unstylish button-down shirts and pants that make him look like he belongs in a Norman Rockwell painting. He started coming in about two months ago, quiet, friendly when ordering his one or two beers of the evening, and firmly shy when it comes to the inevitable overtures sent his way. It doesn’t take a genius to see that this is him dipping a first toe into the pool: coming to a relatively quiet gay bar, just to sit and watch men talk to each other and let the whole notion sink in.

By now most guys would’ve found someone to spread their wings with or gone elsewhere to find em, but Square Dude, whose name is Steve, seems content to talk to the guy who pours his beer about whatever DIY project Bucky is pulling questions out of his ass about.

The crush is painfully obvious, and suburban closeted Steve can’t be blamed for having no deal-sealing abilities, but Bucky has no such excuse. Sam has watched him pull stiff-backed business bros in five minutes flat when the mood struck him, with his big blue puppy eyes and his dark wicked smirk and long lean slouch. But with Steve all he appears capable of doing is asking him questions about crown molding as though those words mean anything to him while gazing at him like he’s beaming the words You could fix me directly into Steve’s skull. Steve, for his part, just doesn’t seem to be able to look anywhere other than Bucky.

As usual, anyone that tries to strike anything beyond a friendly conversation is kindly but firmly rebuffed. “He’s not ready for that yet,” Bucky had insisted with unnecessary defensiveness when Sam implied it was time for the new guy to move from spectating to participating in the relatively mellow flirting and hookup scene the bar played host to most evenings. “People go at their own pace.”

“The only pace he’s going at is towards you,” Sam smirked. Bucky glowered at his implication. “You gotta make it weird. He comes here to, like, practice. I’m part of that, in a chill, friendly way.” He shrugged and looked at the glass he was drying. “When he is ready, it’s not gonna be for me, it’s gonna be for someone actually in his league, like a...hot college professor, or something.” Sam had rolled his eyes and resolved to stop trying to help Bucky Barnes flail around in his mess of a love life anymore, for the hundredth or so time.

Tonight is busy enough that Sam can mostly be distracted from this bad sitcom, and not so busy that he has to yell at Barnes for being distracted. Still, there are a couple empties on tables in the Steve-less side of the bar, and after finishing the drinks for the people in front of him he turns, catching Bucky’s voice, in a tone of delight he uses when speaking with only one person, saying “Wait. Seriously? Bees?”

“Yeah!” Steve responds, equally puppyish. He’s tall and broad, sandy hair and beard just beginning to show a hint of salt-and-pepper. He looks like anyone’s fantasy fireman or lumberjack, at least in the context of a place like this. He also exudes genuine sweetness and vulnerability despite his intimidating muscled height.

Bucky Barnes, Sam’s barback and old friend, leans against the bar doing the helpless-goober-with-a-crush stare, a look on his face like Steve just announced he was a Nobel Prize winner. “No way. How do you keep bees? Just as, what, a casual hobby? That’s, like, a whole thing, you can’t be an expert in so many things!”

Bucky is all shaggy longish dark hair and stupid cheap graphic t-shirts, with a striking, animated face that is used mainly for sarcasm. He and Sam had been at the same high school a few blocks away, though Sam is older, and in the funny way of life they’ve wound up good friends. He’s working at Sam’s place because, in his words, he doesn’t know what the hell he’s doing with his life. Bucky’s going through his own version of one of those fairly bleak lost periods of 20-something misery, but he’s smart and not a drunk and decent at what he does for Sam, and if he bangs a third of the customers he does it discreetly enough. Sam never knew dark-blond, broad-shouldered, bass-voice sad-eyed dudes pushing 40 were the kryptonite that made him unable to do anything including flirt, until Steve came in one day and Bucky sprayed himself with the keg he was tapping.

Steve chuckles— is this man blushing? “Oh no, I’m nowhere near an expert. But it’s pretty easy once they get established. Don’t need much from you. I’m not, uh, living at the place with the backyard where the hives are, right now….so….but they’ll be fine without me.”

Steve gets a little quiet and Bucky’s fangirl expression dims with distressed sympathy. It gets sad like this sometimes when talking to Steve. Recently divorced guys had this problem, where everything came back to the one topic. Steve’s not doing it pathologically, didn’t seem like, just genuinely realizing another change. Bucky looks stricken. He doesn’t always seem young, at newly 24, but sometimes it still shows.

Sam finally manages to catch his eye away from gazing at Steve to convey a quick head jerk of get-the-hell-over-there-and-do-the-job-I-pay-you-for, and Bucky peels himself away with an apologetic smile at Steve. Sam picks up the conversation with Steve as Bucky clears tables at top speed, hearing how he’s renting a place month-to-month not far away, not able to plan something more permanent just yet. He doesn’t say anything revealing, but it’s still easy to paint a picture of a small, empty apartment. Bucky’s not the only one with a soft spot for this guy, and Sam is warmed by the thought that his little bar offers him respite.

………………..

“That’s so sad,” moans Bucky a few days later. It’s just after opening on a weekday afternoon, and Bucky seemed quieter than usual so Sam is tantalizing him with what he learned talking to Steve the other day. “Did he say—you know he has kids?”

“Yeah, I know,” Sam answers. He’d been as offhand as a person could be about that sort of thing, but it wasn’t hard to see how he really felt. He was standing in the rubble of a sincere loving marriage to a woman with whom he had two 11-year old twins. Helped explain his rectitude when it came from moving from his spot at the bar, meeting someone other than the staff. Bucky’s eyes are pools of sympathetic anguish and Sam feels the need to say, “This kinda stuff happens to people, Buck,” earning an eye-roll for his patronizing efforts. “It’s good he’s coming here, learning about himself. I think you help a lot, for the record.”

Bucky starts and gives him a bewildered look. “What?”

This is aging him. Sam sighs, “He’s lonely. Maybe feels kinda lost right now.”

Bucky’s mouth gets a pained downward slant to it.

“He. Likes. You.”

At that, of course, Bucky gets uncomfortable, blushing and moving off to wipe tables somewhere away from Sam, rubbing his nose and clearing his throat like he’s been doing since he got there. He brightens when Steve comes in an hour later, and Sam rolls his eyes and leaves them to their game of mouse-and-mouse.

Steve is telling Bucky... how window insulation works. He thinks he asked, he hopes to god he did, at least. He’s been embarrassing himself for weeks, coming to this place almost every day. He’s kept it pretty well under wraps that although he liked the neighborhood simplicity, and talking to Sam, and got comfortable after the first few visits, the real reason he’s there more evenings than not is to see Bucky. With his bright grey-blue eyes and dark hair hanging past his chin, swinging against his cheekbones, with his smile and wicked sense of humor and his confounding ease in himself, the ease that gives Steve despair and hope for himself. With that mouth and that divot in his chin, and those last two thoughts are not allowed, because the need to put his thumb into that dot in his sculpted chin and kiss those ridiculously pink lips is urgent and unthinkable.

He doesn’t do that, he just sits and pines and chats awkwardly with him, and gets to know a few other regular guys and talks sports with Sam. He just likes talking to Bucky, it’s easy, easy like nothing has been in a long time, and he’s a creep, he’s a pathetic older guy using his experience to take advantage of a younger guy—

Only, he’s not actually experienced here, at all. And Bucky is so smart, he’s self-deprecating about it but it’s not like he and Steve aren’t generally on the same level beyond his inner glossary of home improvement terminology. He downplays the fact that he knows cars like an expert, insists the stuff Steve learned from keeping up an old house and the hobbies he picked up to stay sane is somehow far more impressive— Steve’s pretty sure he’s doing it on purpose, to make him feel less adrift and clueless. He has that way about him, of someone who looks after other people without realizing it.

Things were all dark there for a while, with the end of his marriage to Peggy. But he’s pretty sure he and Bucky are friends, and he feels bright when he sees him.

Tonight, though, Bucky seems just a little worn down. He’s wearing a waffle-knit shirt under his incomprehensible-thorny-calligraphy-t-shirt, as though he’s cold, and his eyes are tired. Steve waits for a reply to the last thing he said and looks to see Bucky with a dazed, spaced-out expression, before he shakes his head and rubs his nose, saying “Sorry, I thought I was gonna sneeze, what’d you say?”

Talking about the goddamn weather and window insulation was segueing into a real conversation, to Steve’s delight: “How my mom moved us out to Jersey so we could live somewhere better and I never forgave her.” Bucky gives a wide-eyed grimace of agreement and he can’t help the bright laugh that bursts out of him. “How about you, you grow up in the city?” He’d inadvertently spilled his guts about the divorce on like his third time in the bar, something that humiliated him to think of but Sam had simply said with an understanding face wasn’t too unusual, so Bucky knew the basics about Peggy and the twins, but Steve had felt clumsy asking Bucky about himself.

He rolled his eyes with his problematically attractive crooked grin and answered, “Aw man, I grew up practically around the block from this place. Went to high school at the big catholic cinderblock in the neighborhood. I was at school on the west coast for a couple years, but…” His eyes cast downward. “now I’m back.”

Steve remembers how bad it felt at that age, to not have accomplished enough fast enough. Saying that will make him sound like an old grey dad and even if that’s what he is he can still hold out a little hope of being something different here, so he just says, “Brooklyn’s a good hometown to come back to.”

That makes Bucky smile at him and look him in the eye, like he liked what Steve said, even like it made him feel better. Steve tamps his answering grin down to reasonable levels.

Bucky’s also been rubbing at his nose on and off this whole time, and he can see it give a little twitch right before he breathes out a “scuse-me” through hitching breaths, his eyes flickering closed. He pushes his nose firmly into his long-sleeved elbow. “hhh-hh-tdschuh!” He sneezes quietly and muffled. “Oh, snf, sorry,” he says, blinking and emerging from his elbow but not lowering it, the hazy ticklish look still on his face, breaths hitching. “Another—hhh—‘nother one?” He freezes, looking up at the overhead lights, nostrils flared, but after a second he deflates with a sigh. “Nope, nevermind. Snff.” Steve’s guts swoop. This crush is so unsustainable. He’s gonna fail to be cool and friendly and he’ll have to watch Bucky go all uncomfortable and pitying as he explains to Steve that he has six hot boyfriends who are not almost-forty almost-virgin losers who only know how to take up his time when he’s trying to work. According to his therapist these “harangues of negativity” are “unhelpful.” But Bucky looks tired and a little pale and like his nose is going to start turning pink and Steve is just trying to survive.

“Bless you,” Steve says softly in his gentle voice that’s so deep it takes Bucky by surprise and makes his stomach flutter every time he talks to him. He feels like he might be blushing.

“Thanks,” it comes out husky and he clears his throat hard, moving to the little sink to wash his hands.

“Allergies, or…?” Steve ventures, a little divot between his eyebrows of concern-more-like-pity.

“I dunno, something’s bothering my nose today,” he says lightly with a shrug. In truth Bucky has a good idea what’s making him sneeze. The fucking radiator that was supposed to heat his cheap shitty basement apartment had stopped working in the middle of the night, so he’d spent six hours until dawn shivering, and an itchy tickly feeling had been growing in the back of his nose and throat since around noon. It’s starting to evolve into a runny nose and an ever-present but elusive feeling of being about to sneeze, and he knows that means he’s coming down with a cold.

He sees some convenient glasses to clear and excuses himself with a smile so he can sniffle out of Steve’s earshot; he’s enough of a mess compared to Steve on his best day, he doesn’t need to show off his scraggly urchin runny nose aesthetic of tonight any more than he has to.

For the next hour, these light, tickly sneezes either sneak up on him or abandon him at the last minute, leaving his nose feeling like it’s going to start getting stuffy.

Steve watches Bucky do his job, sniffling, rubbing his nose, and sneezing furtively into his sleeve or collar; tucking the strands of hair that have come loose from his short ponytail behind his ears, and feels so helplessly tender for him that it can’t be normal or healthy even by desperate crush standards.

Bucky’s coming down with a cold. He seems to want to brush it off, but Steve can hear a slight change in the resonance of his voice that gives it away even if the tired pink starting to border his eyes and nostrils doesn’t. The place is getting crowded and he’s busy; Steve feels for him, as well as pathetically jealous of his attention as he banters with him in passing once in a while.

He glances up as Bucky heads in his direction with a short stack of empty glasses and sees his steps slow; he pauses, blinks up at the overhead light, eyes hazy, and then, wavering, starts to turn his face into his shoulder, before pausing again and then sighing and sniffing as the sneeze evaporates. He looks up and sees Steve watching him like a creep and laughs, “Damn, lost her,” and then as he continues behind the bar, “You havin’ fun watching me look stupid?”

“It’s agony actually,” he responds, gets a laugh, and feels the now-somewhat-familiar internal squeal of this is flirting! I’m flirting with a guy and I think he can tell! It’s painfully pathetic, but he can’t help but track the fact that Bucky knows plenty of the folks that come to Sam’s, that he’ll give anyone his attention if they ask for it, smiling and joking, but the only person he really goes out of his way to talk to, initiates teasing with, is him, Steve. It’s still nothing more than polite obligatory chatting, he’s sure— when you work at a bar this kinda thing is natural. Bucky is young and charismatic and gorgeous. His love life would probably give Steve enough combined envy and jealousy to cause heart failure, which would be perfectly appropriate because he is an old square divorcee. It makes him warm and bubbly enough that he seems to be Bucky’s favorite customer to pass the time with.

A guy down the bar gets his beer from Sam and sidles closer. “This seat taken?” he asks with a good-humored cocked eyebrow. This is why Steve actually started coming to this place: to meet people, to meet guys, in a way that, well, went somewhere. To call his own decades-old bluff. Not to moon over staff half his age who woulda been out of his league even if he was still in his twenties. He turns to the guy—his age or a few years older, attractively lithe with muscle, a hard but handsome face, and smiles.

Bucky gets busy for a stretch— Sam’s place is actually full tonight thanks to the playoff game. He enjoys the feeling of being a genuinely necessary part of the bar’s operation, when some nights it’s hard to believe he’s more than Sam’s charity case. Nights like this remind him that he has a real job, he’s decent at it even with a bum left arm; whether he’s living out his dreams or not he’s an adult with a job, a place to live, and people he cares about. Plus it distracts him from feeling sorry for himself for coming down sick.

His satisfied feelings fade when he looks over to the Steve end of the bar and sees Brock Rumlow talking to him. He scowls. Fucking Rumlow. He only ever comes on nights with games these days, but Bucky would be perfectly happy if he never came in at all.

It’s fine. Steve’s fine. He is a grown-up, significantly more of one than Bucky. Of all the people who have no need of his misplaced ineffectual chivalry, Steve has got to be last in line.

Maybe he finds more stuff to do in the general area of that end of the bar, and maybe he’s listening for Rumlow to say something dickish, or maybe he’s just a masochist and he wants to know firsthand if they hit it off. Sam is trying to point his “Don’t-be-Stupid” face at him like a flashlight beam but he resolutely ignores it while he replaces a couple bottles that legitimately needed it, ok, just because they’re in a convenient place doesn’t make that untrue.

“Yeah, I’m glad I found this place,” he catches Steve’s cheerful voice. A wave of bar noise obscures their next words, and then he makes out Rumlow,

“—actual sports on the TV. ‘Course,” the smile is audible in his voice, “the clubby places are good for at least one reason, y’know?” He quiets down to say it but not enough. Steve wouldn’t particularly like that, Bucky guesses, and then grinds his teeth as his brain helpfully supplies him with the memories of how easily Brock had charmed him, months ago. It wasn’t any kind of nightmare, but it was still probably his least favorite hookup to date: he’d been so happily focused on Bucky at first, then rough and selfish in bed, capped off by an unnecessarily clear implication that he wouldn’t be calling. Bucky knew the score with casual sex, but it had still given him enough whiplash to sting; it crossed his mind a few days later that it had been like Rumlow wanted him to feel like a dumb kid.

Steve has sputtered something about “not sure he’s looking for anything like that” while Bucky fumed about the past. He has to grab beers for a couple guys, and bending to get in the lowboy fridge makes his nose run suddenly, and flush with an insistent tickle. He manages, just barely, to squash the sneeze completely into a silent mmp! into his shoulder, andmakes a getaway to the bathroom. He blows his nose, but it won’t stop tickling, so then he stands there like an idiot, holding paper towels like they’re a book he’s reading, staring up into the lights and waiting to coax the sneeze out.

He can feel it coming but it still takes forever. At least the bathroom is empty. He wrinkles his nose exaggeratedly and sniffs and his breath finally starts to catch.

“hehh...heh...heh—heh-Uhh....huhh. Fuck.” There’s no way it’s not happening though, his goddamn nose tickles so bad— “hhHAh—EHSsschhooo!” It’s a ridiculous cartoony sneeze but at least it’s satisfying. He blows his nose again, then sighs. He’s definitely sick. Gonna be great sleeping in a freezing apartment. Turning into kind of a shitty night, he thinks with sarcastic pep.

When he leaves the restroom he can’t help glancing over to where Steve sits, and sees he’s now frowning at whatever Rumlow’s saying, looking politely uncomfortable on the way to annoyed. As he drifts back into earshot he hears, “….fun, but, if you’re looking for more than, um, casual, I dunno, kind of a dead end.” Then his pulse jumps as Rumlow looks right at him and finishes, “not dating material, trust me. Either way,” he leans in, “I think you can do better.”

Bucky closes the distance but puts himself behind the bar so he doesn’t immediately clock the asshole. His fists are clenched. Can he throw him out? If he doesn’t get away from Steve and shut up Bucky’s gonna end up fired and charged with assault, probably, but he doesn’t know if he can throw someone out on the grounds of being a jerk that he hates. Thank God, Sam’s caught on that something is up.

Rumlow doesn’t seem to have won Steve over, in any case. He’s turned cold and hard in a way that makes him look unfamiliar, and he says quietly but very clearly, “I think you’ve got the wrong idea.” He sounds like a straight Army Captain contemptuously shattering an underling’s heart immediately post-office-suckjob or something; in the morass of anger and panic it still registers with Bucky’s dick to his utter bewilderment. It definitely triggers some core memory for Rumlow, who turns the color of old milk before flushing and standing. He takes in the sight of Bucky glowering behind Steve and barks an ugly laugh. “It’s like that, huh?” he asks, shaking his head in mock pity. “Good luck with that rescue mission.”

Bucky feels like he did when Hank Ackerman pantsed him in 8th grade. Everything’s too bright and clear. He wants to cover his face and run into the back, but he’s rooted to the spot by the thought that that’s just what the dumb baby slut Rumlow’s been making him out to be would do.

“That’s it man,” Sam comes up beside him, smile on his face as though he’s just casually joining their conversation. “You’re done. Get outta here.”

Rumlow scoffs, takes a step towards the door, then turns with the beginning of a macho intimidation-lean in Sam’s direction. He’s hammered, Bucky hadn’t realized, and he can usually tell with people. He’s...kind of fucking scary. Had he gotten rougher around the edges, or had he been like this when Bucky went home with him? Jesus Christ.

Sam just returns his stare, all semblance of friendliness gone from his face. “Get out.”

Rumlow glares another second, but then he goes. There’s a reason Sam’s successful running a bar in the middle of the still-managing-to-be-seedy part of Brooklyn, as well as his finely tuned sensibilities to the unmet needs of Brooklyn’s grownup queer folks. He has the air, recognizable to serious troublemakers, of someone who will absolutely meet and raise any escalation. There were, in fact, a taser and a gun behind the bar, but Sam had never had to use them.

Steve stands up sharply, like he’s—what, gonna follow? Bucky opens his mouth to protest, but then—“Steve.” Sam’s got the side bar entry folded up and he’s intercepting his angry stride. “Please don’t.” He goes on, too quiet for Bucky to make out. Steve deflates and sits back down, taking a long drink of beer and then frowning at his knees.

Bucky consciously lets go of his tension as he sees Rumlow’s silhouette, walking outside, disappear from the last window on the right. He feels shaky, the way any kind of confrontation leaves him, and embarrassed as hell. He avoids Steve’s eyes for all he’s worth, scrubbing a hand under his nose and sniffing sharply.

Steve was just a customer. Bucky was just one of many people that Steve made polite conversation with in the course of a day. Feeling like this was just a consequence of getting that confused. Because he’s an idiot. He has to sniffle again. He also feels about ten times sicker than he did a few minutes ago, and successfully blinking away the brief prickle in his eyes just turns it into the need to sneeze.

Steve tries to breathe smoothly and calm down. This frat-boy rage is ridiculous, he still wants to go punch the hell out of that fucking creep. He must be drunker than he realizes, although deep down he knows it has more to do with the inarticulate surge of protectiveness he’d felt for Bucky since the guy had gestured to him with a jerk of his head as he crossed the room.

He hears a shuddering gasp and sees Bucky duck down to crouch behind the bar. His concern flares way up, but then he hears the three muffled sneezes, all in a rush, “hhhMPtchsh—hmptsschoo—hptsshhuh,”. He straightens back up, sniffing hard, more wetly than he sounded earlier. He’s rubbing his nose and glaring at the door, not looking at Steve.

“Bucky,” he says, frowning, determined to get this across, “what that asshole said about you—”

“Steve, snff, it’s fine, just drop it, okay, I’m asking you,” he meets Steve’s eyes with a downcast expression, before it flickers as his breath catches, and he sneezes again, half-pinched down into the collar of his shirt, “ihh-dtsschuh!”

His nostrils keep quivering and he lets out a shaky sigh of frustration before ducking around the corner out of sight with his hands tented over his nose and sneezing, “hiih-hih-HIDtschoo!...hih-HIH-TISchoo! ..heehh...heh—HEH—” the last one deserts him and leaves him sniffling. They’re still pretty quiet, but a lot heavier and spraying than the first sneezes Steve heard earlier. Bucky blows his nose and washes his hands thoroughly, and when he’s back behind the bar his nose is decidedly pink.

“Buck,” Steve says, and Bucky’s lips thin in exasperation— it’s not like him, compared to the guy Steve’s talked to the last few weeks. Whatever, he can’t help but say, “you do sound like you’re coming down with something, you should—”

“Steve, I’m fine,” says Bucky, in a soft tone that brooks no argument. Still tense, he turns to Steve with a crooked smile and says, “Really,” and it’s warm, if strained, between them again, and it seems like that’ll just have to satisfy Steve, and he says as much to Bucky who blushes and bites his lip for some reason.

Sam rescues Bucky by asking him to do inventory in back, letting him be sneeze and be dramatically in his feels without anyone around, especially Steve. The bar is slow enough now that he just shamelessly hides for the rest of the night. He’s constantly sniffling and sneezing and needing to blow his nose with the roll of rough brown paper towels back there, and even without that he’s too keyed up and pissed and miserable for human company, so it’s for the best.

He casts furtive recon glances to the bar where Steve sits, first craning his neck trying to spy Bucky, then brooding into his beer glass which makes Bucky feel like an asshole, then perking up at least a little shooting the shit with Sam, hopefully talking shit about Brock Dickface Rumlow. Then the misery wells up enough to get him to actually focus on work to avoid feeling it, and then it’s a few hours later and they’re closing up and he goes home to his little icebox and tires not to think about anything.

The next day, Sam chooses evil.

Steve and JB Barnes are both at least somewhat complex men, and it is always a bad idea to meddle in the affairs of others. But screw it, he’s had Bucky moaning in his ear for months now, and he was gonna have to recheck all his angry counting from last night, and these guys really seemed dumb enough to let the tension of mutual attraction strain between them until it just broke, some misunderstanding threw them both on the defensive or whatever, and they missed the chance at any of the fun part of connecting with each other.

So.

It isn’t a big surprise when Bucky calls him around 2, apologizing and pausing to make some gross “ihHgjshuhh!” noise, saying he was probably too sick with this cold to come in. What is a surprise, for poor Bucky, is Sam’s implacable response: “Duuude, I’m so sorry, but there’s some kinda convention in town and the place is packed, I need you here so bad, no matter what. You can take the next two days off, I’ll pay you.” He hears Bucky swallow back the what the hell and resignedly say ok. He feels diabolical. But hopefully it will be worth it. Steve usually comes in early on Thursdays, and he’d looked all hangdog-worried about Bucky the night before.

He’s been there twenty minutes already, chatting distractedly with Sam and staring at the TV screens but really looking all over the room like Bucky might be hiding somewhere. Bucky slouches in, ten minutes late, takes in the mostly empty room and gives Sam a betrayed glare.

“You really ndeeded mbe, huh,” he mutters as he puts his backpack away.

“You don’t even sound that bad,” Sam rejoins cheerfully, and Bucky’s mouth drops open with incredulity.

He moves some boxes around in back without issue. Then he tries to start prep by the bar. In a fifteen-minute period he has two sneezing fits that require him retreating to the bathroom to blow his nose endlessly and wash his hands. Sam decides that’s plenty sufficient. He and his customers are gonna pay a price in germ exposure for this stupid ass cupid skit he’s putting on.

“Steve, you believe this guy?” Bucky’s been avoiding Steve’s concerned hopeful looks since he got here. “He insisted on coming to work.” Bucky chokes in outrage, then coughs for real, while Steve moves a few seats closer. Sam turns; Bucky couldn’t look more betrayed if there was a knife with Sam’s name on it in his guts. Lord deliver him from dramatic white boys. “Did you take the bus here, Buck?” There was no other way for the guy to get to work, but he just replies flatly,

“Yeah.”

“You oughtta go home and rest.”

“Le me give you a ride, Buck,” Steve jumps in with the Air-Bud eagerness Sam had expected. They confirm it and bustle Barnes into a Civic while he’s sneezing too much to protest. Sam washes his hands metaphorically of the situation, and also very literally and thoroughly.

Steve’s car is a little old, and cold, and dusty. Bucky shivers as he buckles his seatbelt. He feels silently nervous and thrilled to be in Steve’s Car!!, but at the moment it’s hard to be anything but….sneezy…

“hhh-hh-hhmmPtchuh! S-s-sor-ry-hiihHIptchsh!” Holding them back when he feels like this just makes his nose more irritated and thus even sneezier. He stubbornly jams his fist under his nose to quell the tickle. He has some napkins from work, so a nose-blow is possible, but it doesn’t feel possible, not so close to Steve, who has it a million times more together than Bucky even on days when he isn’t falling apart on a cellular level.

“Bless you,” Steve says quietly. He looks at him reflexively, to see a small, sweet, sympathetic smile. “Ready?” Bucky gives a little nod and the car pulls out into the slushy road.

His nose is running onto his finger, it’s a crisis. This is why it’s always a terrible idea to leave the house when you’re really sick. “Ugh, I gotta blow mby ndose, I’mb sorry, I’mb so gross right ndow,” talking also makes his nose angry. Fucking Sam and his supervillain plan to humiliate him. What had he done to deserve this? He fumbles for the napkins with his less-dextrous left hand, the one he should have stuck under his nose, goddamnit, he’s gonna sneeze again…

“Psh, don’t worry about it,” scoffs Steve like the big huge dad he is, then with a sympathetic glance he turns the radio on, to the classic rock station, because of course, Bucky almost laughs even while racing to get tissues on his face before this giant wet sneeze overcomes him. The music is loud and it does help him feel less embarrassed.

“heh—HEH-KSSSHOOoo!” he gets the wad of napkins in front of him just in time. Blowing his nose after that demolishes them, but he feels a little closer to a human being.

“Bless you!” Steve chuckles. “Man you got a good bug, jeez!”

Why are he and Sam both so cheerful. “Thanks, I’mb glad you’re impressed,” he croaks.

“You have cold stuff at home?” Huh? When Bucky doesn’t answer he continues, “Tissues, tea, soup, medicine, you know?”

“Oh, umb, sorry, I’m tired,” Steve makes a sympathetic sound. “I usually just use toilet paper. I took the last of my Dayquil before work. I dunno if it even helped, all it feels like it did is mbake me jittery and sdeezy.”

“Why don’t we stop by a drugstore.” He sounded decisive.

“Oh, you don’t have to bother with that, really Steve—” he pauses to sniffle desperately. Technically he can afford a couple things, and he probably needs them. “Or—you could drop me off and I’ll get myself home from the store, that would totally be a big help—”

“Is the heat even on in your place?” Steve interrupts, shrewd-eyed. At Bucky’s wide-eyed sputtering response he continues, “I knew it. I used to be a broke Brooklyn kid, once upon a time. Only reason to come into work, am I right? Can’t believe landlords are still getting away with this shit.”

Bucky considers denial, then slumps. “S’why I’mb so much...hhh...worse...hh-huh-hudschuh! Snff-snff. Worse today. They said it’ll be fixed by tomorrow so...we’ll see, ha. I got a space heater and an electric kettle though, I can get in my blankets and drink tea and I’m fine.”

Steve is quiet, no response, and Bucky worries irrationally that he pissed him off. A few minutes of classic rock later, he pulls into the small parking lot attached to the drugstore, turns the car off, and turns to him, looking a little uncomfortable.

“Bucky I—” he breaks off and laughs to himself. “I know you have to be polite to customers, I don’t want to—” he makes eye contact, looking pained and rueful. “I’d like to think we’re friends. But I don’t want to put you on the spot or anything,”

“We’re friends,” Bucky interrupts gently. Steve’s face brightens like a sunrise and Bucky’s chest does a nice warm thing.

“Yeah? That’s...I’m real happy to hear it.” Steve says, sheepish but grinning. Then his eyes get the determined look that Bucky is starting to think means trouble. “Well the reason I asked is, as a friend, I really hate the idea of you trying to ride this out in an icebox apartment. I have heat. And a couch!” He hastens to add at whatever wide-eyed look Bucky’s giving him. “It’s just, I know it’s no fun being sick by yourself, and, well, honestly I wish I’d socked that asshole at the bar last night, and I really wish I’d clocked him as a jerk faster, and I’d feel a lot better if I could do something nice for you, and you really seem like you could do with some rest and medicine. Will you let me grab some stuff here and spend the night at my place—where there’s heat— and let me fuss over you?”

“Steve, that’s—that’s so nice, but I really can’t imb—snff—impose on you, and I gotta be so contagious right now…”

“I don’t care about that,” Steve says easily. “And I know you’re not gonna die on your own, but,” and, whoa, he’s deploying some kind of dignified mature version of puppy-dog eyes, it’s so sincere, and also so certain, that it starts to seem like the only sensible course of action is to let his gorgeous crush take him to his apartment while he’s the polar opposite of sexy, an unspeakable snot factory, and also possibly starting to run a fever.

….His apartment is gonna be so goddamn cold.

And lonely, incidentally.

And Steve is so nice. He’s literally, actually here, he seems to mean it that he wants to take care of Bucky’s sick bedraggled ass as some kind of friend-favor. There’s no way this is a come-on with him in this state, even if he can still muster enough energy to wish it was. No way Steve’s ever gonna want to fuck him after watching him snuffle through 200 tissues and mouth-breathe all evening, but he was nuts to think he ever would anyhow. He’s just that nice, and Bucky is that pathetic, and that might not feel great, but he wants to be Steve’s friend, he really does, and even through his own shyness he can see that the guy is pretty lonely.

“You, umb. You really don’t have to.” He says, watching Steve, who waits with obvious hopefulness. “But. Uh.” Steve raises his eyebrows and gives him a little smile, and Bucky finds himself returning it helplessly. “If you really don’t mbind. It could, potentially, be really ndice to take you up on that. You really don’t have to though!”

“I want to, though.” Jesus, he’s so sincere. Bucky feels some weird kind of protective way about the earnest honesty in his eyes.

“Well, then, okay. Thangk you, I really appreciate it.” He laughs, finally feeling how miserable it would have been to go back home and try to sleep in a cold blanket pile on his mattress on the floor. “Mby place sucks right now.”

“Alright then,” Steve beams. “Let’s get you a couple things and then get you cozy.”

Bucky’s nose is not okay with him using his face to talk instead of constantly blow it. It’s gotten completely blocked, and it’s tingling unpleasantly, and running so bad again he has to smush his knuckles under his nostrils. The tickle crests and his breath catches before he can do anything about it, but he clenches his jaw and forces it into a stifle. “hhh-huh-MMP!!” The problem with doing that is it just makes the tickle— “hh-mMP!” worse. “Ugh, sorry.” His hand is a dam against his nose at this point.

“Bless you!” They both step out of the car, but Steve hurries over to his side with a crinkle in his brow. “Why don’t you just stay here and I’ll grab a few things. Anything in particular, or just tissues and NyQuil?”

“Dyquil is just schndapps,” Bucky grumbles, then his brain catches up a little and he says “tissues,” fervently, and then it catches all the way up and he says “wait, ndo way are you buyig!”

Steve cocks an eyebrow like a handsome jerk. “You really wanna go in there?” With your current nose situation? He’s kind enough to not say.

He casts about for a moment—“Grab me a little pack and then I’ll go in!”

Steve gives him a skeptical look and says “Sure,” in a way that makes him think his orders won’t be followed, but he’s too busy squishing his nose more firmly and silently begging it not to make him sneeze again to keep arguing, or to protest when Steve opens the door for him and puts his car keys in his hand before dashing into the store with a promise to be quick.

He’s back not even ten minutes later, by which time holding his nose plugged and not letting his sneezes out has put Bucky in a state of perma-misery, stifling relentless sneezes every few seconds, unable to keep his eyes fully open. Steve tosses a box of tissues onto his lap before he gets all the way into the car because he is a saint.

“Guh,” Bucky says gratefully, pulls out a wad of about ten, and lets the miserable sneeze that had been building out into the nest of forgiving softness. “HehgSHOOmpff!!” And then blows his nose forever. Finally he feels like he can speak and have a face again; the little drugstore bag is now home to a dozen nasty used-tissue balls. “Well,” he says as he puts the last one in there, “wish I hadn’t had a witness for that.”

Steve just chuckles. “You’re fine,” he murmurs, his voice a soothing rumble. “I grabbed you a toothbrush, and I’ve got some stuff that can fit you for pjs.”

Bucky feels like he sneezed out the last of his strength. “You’re way too nice.” He sniffles and slumps against the window, looking at the familiar blur of orange streetlight. “I should be more worried you’re a serial killer.” Steve chuckles again, and he likes that, so he goes on, “Probly got a nice Jeffrey Dahmer setup at your place. Sorry if I don’t make a good steak.”

“Why wouldn’t you?” Steve replies, sounding indignant. Then laughs for real, shaking his head, “I’m not gonna chop you up and eat you, I swear.”

“It’s fine. Just mbake mbe into soup,” sighs Bucky. That would be warm. He’ll just be a big hot pot of Bucky, and Steve will stir him and season him so carefully with his big strong hands. This is a weird train of thought. He might have a fever. But he can still hear Steve chuckling.

Steve pulls into his parking spot and the car shudders to stillness as he takes his key out of the ignition. Next to him, Bucky is asleep with his head mushed against the window. He’d conked out for the last five or so minutes of the drive. “Hey, Buck, we just got to my place,” he says softly, trying not to sound too bedroom-y. His eyes flutter open, the blue of them standing out, and Steve takes a steadying breath because Bucky is so good-looking it catches him off guard and overwhelms him sometimes.

His eyes are glassy-bright and there’s a flush high on his cheekbones, and as he shifts upright in his seat Steve reaches over and touches his forehead without thinking about it. It’s noticeably hot, but not burning. The twins’ childhood bouts with the flu gave him a sense of bad-fever heat. “Think you got a temperature,” he murmurs sympathetically. Bucky just blinks up at him, a little wide-eyed, and only then does he realize his big meaty hand is practically covering half his face. He feels himself flush to match Bucky, and for a second they just look at each other.

Until Bucky sniffs a miserable liquid sniffle and they both almost jump. “Sorry,” Steve mutters awkwardly, and Bucky’s saying the same thing at the same time. They both move to get out, “Just one flight of stairs up.”

“huh—tschumpf!” is Bucky’s answer, his nose buried in a new handful of tissues. “huhh, hUH—huh.” The second sneeze fizzles, leaving him blinking and frowning and wrinkling his nose snifflishly against the ticklish haze as he shuts the door. “Fuck. Sorry, scuse mbe.”

“Bless you.” It’s probably not normal to find someone so sick so adorable.

Steve leads him up and along the hall and then he’s unlocking the door, feeling giddy that he’s letting Bucky into his apartment, and then guilty for being excited, when the poor guy is just hesitantly accepting a much-needed favor. Bucky trails in behind him and then stands still while Steve sets the bag from the drugstore and started to turn to him, saying, “It’s not much, but—”

“ASHHOO!” Bucky’s sneeze interrupts and snaps him forward into his tissues, and then he just stays folded over for a second like it sapped the last of his energy. Then he straightens, rubbing his nose into the tissues and sighing. “Jesus, sorry,”

“Bless you! You don’t have to be sorry, you’ve just got a cold.” Steve has to hold himself still to keep from rubbing his back.

“You’re...hh-huh….? Snfff, ugh. Totally gonna catch this, I owe you way mbore apologies.”

“I won’t hold it against you,” he chuckles, toeing his shoes off. Bucky follows suit and he continues, “I stopped caring after raising toddlers, they’re little germ factories, you catch everything.” Why’d you bring up your old-dad status, Steve? “I’ll grab you some things to sleep in.”

An hour and one confrontation about Steve giving up his bed later, Bucky is ensconced on his couch like the king of cold-medicine commercials, surrounded by blankets and pillows and tissues and steaming cups and bowls. He feels a little more human, which is nice, but lets him access how incandescently awkward he feels at being rescued from his idiotic life like a snotty Cinderella. Steve has been flitting back and forth between the couch and kitchen, fussing over him to a truly excessive degree while exuding satisfaction and cheer, like some kind of calendar-model Santa with a caretaking kink. He was practically rubbing his hands together at the prospect of getting Bucky blankets and tea on his couch. Now he’s giving a rundown of his TV system standing next to the couch and it feels the tiniest bit manic and Bucky can feel himself getting a little too quiet but he can’t help it. After a minute Steve notices, and sets the remote down.

“I should stop babbling at you and leave you in peace,” he says with a bashful chuckle, turning to leave the room.

“No, I— you don’t—” Bucky doesn’t really have a response beyond ‘please chill out and hang out with me and let me picture cuddling with you,’ which will not be said aloud.

“You really don’t hafta feel like you need to entertain me, Bucky.”

“It’s not, I don’t,” he sighs and then sniffles. He doesn’t want to sit here and stare at the wall and stress about this, alone in this room in Steve’s goddamn apartment. He maybe should have thought about just how much he’d fallen for Steve before taking him up on this offer, because the concern and sweetness and fussing are starting to ratchet up his anxiety, because what if there was a chance it meant—

“Is anything the matter?” Steve crouches smoothly to be on his level and torment him with his eyes’ blueness. When all Bucky can do for a moment is flounder he looks more concerned, and a little downcast. “I really don’t want you to feel uncomfortable. If anything’s bothering you, you can just tell me.”

What the hell is an ordinary sinner supposed to do in the face of this much sincerity? Act like he thinks he’s a damn grownup, Bucky guesses, and girds his nervous loser loins.

“Why’re you—” he starts, frowning, then cuts himself off and tries again with a small, apologetic smile.

“It’s just...this is such an imposition, and you seem...kinda weirdly happy about it? I just don’t get why.”

One side of Steve’s mouth quirks up, making him look dry and self-deprecating and unfairly handsome. “You’re worried I’m gonna start talkin about Scientology, or put you in my basement dungeon?”

Bucky shrugs. “Kinda.” Just ‘cause he went home with strangers didn’t mean he had no sense.

Steve seems to cast about for an explanation, and he also starts to turn pink. “It’s—you’re just so—” and then he sighs and sits on the end of the couch, next to his blanketed feet, addressing his words to the wall in a rush. “Honestly, Bucky? I have a huge crush on you, and,” he laughs in embarrassment, decidedly blushing now, “I’m just real happy to have a chance to take care of you in whatever little way.” Now he does turn to look at him, pained. “I’m sorry, that must be so uncomfortable to hear. I promise you’re not my hostage! Please don’t make a break for it, it’s cold out and you’re so sick. I swear I’m not Cathy Bates in Misery.”

“Y—hihdsschuh!” The sneeze catches him by surprise, but he has wadded-up tissues in his hand already anyhow. He has to blow his nose, and he does it thoroughly to buy time. Steve stares stoically at the ceiling as though waiting for sentencing. Is this seriously Steve telling Bucky...he likes him?

“You…” he stops, sniffs. He needs a plan. He doesn’t have one. His mouth is gonna keep moving anyway, “You said, ‘you’re just so—‘, what were you gonna say?”

Steve looks confused for a second, and then just helpless. “Bucky, you’re just so sweet. I’m happy for a chance to do something for you because I owe you, you get that, right?”

“Owe me?” Bucky asks, nonplussed. Steve laughs with what seems like disbelief at his confusion.

“Yes, Buck! For the last few months! For taking pity on me that first night I came into Sam’s. You asked me a question about antifreeze.”

“Yeah,” Bucky murmurs. His world is rearranging itself. Steve remembered that?

“I feel—real self-conscious, I guess, coming into the “scene,” he gives it air-quotes and Bucky’s heart swells a little more, “by the route I have. Y’know, married dad who woke up one day and realized the stuff he repressed at sixteen might be the real him. Sam’s was the third place I tried to go into. I just felt so ridiculous, I still do— 39-year-old brand-new gay dude, it’s idiotic. I was practically gonna have a panic attack, I was definitely gonna leave and not try again and just...stop trying in general, maybe, to figure this new scary shit out. Except you were there, this—this smokin-hot guy, and you’re acting like you actually want to talk to me, and… so I stayed. And came back.” He looks Bucky in the eyes and it makes Bucky’s stomach clench. “I feel like you’ve been taking care of me this whole time, helping me ease into things, helping me not to feel bad about being completely uncool, asking me about stuff I actually know about instead of laughing at me because I’ve never heard of ‘poppers’,”

At that, Bucky has to give in to the giggle bubbling out of him, which inevitably leads to a short coughing fit. His first instinct is to keep laughing, rake Steve over the coals, but Steve is looking at him with a careful sort of expression, and it occurs to Bucky that just because he’s older and seems like he has it all together and has great posture doesn’t mean he’s immune to feeling vulnerable. And he looks like he’s feeling really fucking vulnerable right now. Acting like Bucky is worthy of this adorable schoolboy crush is absurd, but it’s not like it was so many eons ago that little baby Bucky Barnes was having his First Gay Bar experience, and he’d been scared as shit.

He already feels like he missed the boat on his life. Steve is starting over at 39. He’s so fucking brave. Bucky...somehow, unthinkably, Bucky is in a position where he could really hurt this guy.

“I’mb, umb. Snfff. Thing is, I’m a little surprised…” And Steve must think that’s the prelude to rejection because he pulls this sad little smile onto his face that’s the worst thing Bucky’s ever seen, and he has to make it go away, “It’s just, to hear you tell it I took pity on you and I’ve been talking to you to, like, guide you along and coach you because I’m some saint!” He smiles, starting to feel amused. “Steve— I just wanted some reason to talk to you, dude.”

Steve blinks at him. “What?”

He has to laugh, putting his forehead in his hand. “Sorry. I, just, I have not been operating under the assumption that I had a chance with you? And now it sounds like you’re telling me I do? While I sit on your couch filling your trash can with my disgusting tissue mountain?”

All he gets from the man is “...Huh?”

“You said ‘crush’,” he insists, and he’s not laughing, his heart is pounding actually. “What did you mean by that?” He’s gonna awkwardly say that he wants to fuck, and once that box is checked in his Gay Awakening, he’ll move on to actually date people actually in his league, and that’s maybe not gonna feel great, but, well…

Steve looks up from staring at his hands, makes eye contact, and he looks a little confused and a lot like he’s facing a firing squad. “I meant, I mean that…” he blows a breath out. “Jesus I have no idea what I’m doing. I mean that I’ve been trying to work up the courage to ask you out on a date, since pretty much the first night I met you.”

Bucky’s head does a record scratch and Steve scoffs and rolls his eyes, “But I guess instead I kidnapped you when you were sick and blurted this out to you while you were trapped on my couch waiting to be left alone to sleep. I was never smooth but I swear I’ve done better than this.”

A giddy feeling is rising up in Bucky’s chest, making him forget completely about how tired and crappy he feels. “Well, I am smooth,” he says, “I’ve got game. At least, I did, until you showed up and turned me into a giggling bimbo. What the hell, Steve.”

“This is starting to seem like a romantic conversation but I can’t tell,” murmurs Steve with his face still uncertain but a little twinkle in his eye.

Bucky’s nose is gonna ruin this, he’s surprised it gave him that long a grace period. “Yeah, snfff, real romantic, I’mb gonna—hih—fuckin’ sndeeze—heh-heTShoo! Againd.”

Another sneeze teases out, and then he has to blow his nose for about ten years. “Bless you,” says Steve all quiet and bedroomy in his deep voice, and he’s definitely smiling, sparkle-eyes, leaning towards him the tiniest bit, but still looking like Bucky’s leaving him hanging a little, unsure, and he can’t help the wave of doubt he feels.

“Steve, you—” he stares at the blanket on his lap. “I’m a mess. You’ve accomplished shit, you have a real goddamn job, I—I’m just, ok, we’re both adults, but I feel like a screw-up kid compared to you.” He takes a deep breath and says what he doesn’t want to, “I’d be...pretty damn flattered if you wanted to hook up. I kinda can’t imagine you actually want to date me.”

He dares to look up and Steve looks more serious. He doesn’t say, “no shit.” He says, “I won’t argue if you say you don’t want anything, but I sure don’t agree with how you describe yourself. I don’t want to hook up—at least, not just that— I want to date you, get to know each other better, because I like you. I trust my judgement, when I think someone’s a good person.”

He says it so simply, and Bucky finds himself believing it despite himself, and a warm happy fire is kindling under his ribs. “Well, shit,” he murmurs, “it’s starting to seem like you’re asking me out.”

“It’s...starting to seem like you might be saying yes? If I am?” Steve looks agonized and Bucky’s doubts are no match for the giddiness fizzing up inside him, and he lets it show on his face with a grin, and whatever that looks like makes Steve kinda gulp and scootch up closer to him. Bucky makes a show of giving a slow, considering nod. Yes.

Steve has this soft, nervous little smile on his face, but his eyes hold something weighty, almost burning, as he moves even closer, and it’s just, it’s really, wow, Bucky has maybe never been taken seriously in quite this way by anyone before, it makes his knees feel watery and kindles something in his core. “I know you’re sick,” he rumbles, “but I feel like I gotta kiss you,” and how is it that the softer he speaks the deeper his voice sounds? He brushes his curled fingers over Bucky’s cheek because that’s how close they are now and this isn’t really Bucky’s life, is it? “What if I was to kiss you, right now?”

It’s hard to tell with the sexiness melting his brain but he realizes Steve is actually asking, because he’s a gentleman— a gentleman Bucky wants to be taken apart and turned inside out by. “Then you would be a guaranteed victim of my plague,” he breathes. “But I wouldn’t stop you, I’m not that selfless.”

“Sounds like a dare,” Steve murmurs, and tilts his head and presses their lips together.

It’s a short simple kiss but they each give a quiet gasp at the contact, and then stay there a moment. Steve’s beard isn’t huge but he feels it, like a firm underline to the shockingly warm plush pressure of his lips. He thankfully tragically remembers that congested people can’t make out and pulls away after just a brief press of lips, but not before giving a soft lick to Bucky’s, full of promised things to come.

They sit there a few inches apart and breathe. Bucky feels like a vibrating tuning fork. He just barely stops himself from shakily saying “wow,” like a highschool virgin, but when he sees Steve looking at him with lips still parted and a gobsmacked expression he changes his mind and lets it out anyway, “wow,” with a giddy grin.

“Yeah,” Steve breathes, blinking like he got hit with a cartoon hammer, going from pink to red, and then he swoops in and kisses Bucky’s cheek, and then stands, going, “Excuse me, just gotta go...out of your sightline, and. Do something cool. And serious. No victory dances.”

…..the next morning…….

Steve could hear Bucky in the shower, sneezing three times, but not sounding—four times—nearly as heavy or exhausted as the night before. A few minutes and one loud noseblow later, he came out wrapped in a towel, mercilessly bare-chested, his nose bright red but his eyes clear and cheerful. Steve’s attention caught on his chest as his nipples tightened in the relative chill as Bucky said sheepishly, “forgot my clo-hothes—” his voice swooping to a breathy quaver on the last word, “hhh-hh-hehh—EHisSHOooh!” he turned as far away from Steve’s part of the room as possible and sneezed over his shoulder. “Snnfff. Excuse me, sorry.”

“Can I lend you some warmer stuff, just for now while we eat breakfast? There’s no way you’re not still sick,” Steve fussed, forcing himself to round the kitchen island slowly and casually instead of rushing over and wrapping him up in his arms and kissing his red nose that was twitching again. He quelled it with another sniff that sounded a lot less congested than the previous night.

“Ah, I’m ok. I felt really bad yesterday, but I slept so well,” he said with a warm grateful smile at Steve that went to his toes, “I don’t feel shitty and run-down anymore, just all, like, shnuffly.”

Steve chuckled helplessly and went over to rub his shoulder. “You’re adorable.”

“No way!” Bucky glowered, but then a few drops fell from his wet hair to his chest and neck, and he shivered into a sneeze so quick and light it sounded incomplete, “hih—tish!” followed by “ih-hihtchoo!” and he blinked, taken by surprise.

“That was... the cutest thing that ever happened,” Steve said truthfully.

“Shuddup— heh—edschoo!”

[strwbrychffoncke]

"walking in a winter wonderland,, 3.1k words synopsis: an evening date w doctor zayne leads to a stroll through the winter snowfall of linkon contains: zayne x reader (afab reader in mind but theres close to no phys desc tbh) ,fluff fluff fluff fluff fluffff ,petnames (reader is called 'miss hunter' twice) ,playful bantering ,(attempts at) zayne dry humor ,keeping zaynes sweet tooth in check ,cute stroll in the snow ,looots of hand holding ,snowman moment ,kisses ,suggestive ending ,that's all i can think of rn :x note: i meant to release this like last wk but the writing was not writing.... i literally had to stop myself from writing for raf or greyson instead bc i said id release zayne help.. this is like an accumulation of five diff drafts into one so i hope it came out well?? please enjoy....

quiet.

it's quiet in the early evening when you step out of your apartment, sighting zayne's car parked right out front, said man promptly exiting the drivers side in favor of making his way to the passenger door as you walk the short path towards him.

he's clad in casual slacks, a turtleneck sweater and his dark trench coat, offering a small smile as you close the short distance before opening the car door for you.

"are you my driver for tonight?"

his eyes glint with playfulness.

"ive come to retrieve a miss hunter for the night. might that be you?"

you giggle.

"my chauffeur bares a striking resemblance to a certain renowned doctor zayne." you take a step closer. "do you know him?" you tilt your head in question, a questioning look adorning your face.

he takes your hand in his.

"i have no idea who you're talking about."

you feign a pout.

"well, i happen to be quite close with him."

"is that so?"

"yeah," you nod, looking off to the side, bringing your pointer finger to the corner of your lips before continuing.

"—so, im not so sure he would appreciate a stranger holding my hand..." you trail off, slowly beginning to slip your trapped hand out of his grasp, only for him to tighten his hold.

"well..."

he pulls it up to his lips.

"i'm zayne. it's a good thing that i'm no stranger" he emphasizes the last word, planting a soft kiss on the back of your hand, gaze holding yours while he does so.

you laugh again, heart full at the gesture.

a small smile pulls at his lips again at the sound before he helps you inside the car (not that you really need it, but as a gesture of his love for you, you allow him to treat you like a princess).

once he's situated back in the drivers side beginning to take off, you prompt him.

"so, where are we headed this evening, doctor?"

"that, is a secret" he answers simply.

you put on a thoughtful expression.

"hmm... are you sure you're not kidnapping me?"

a playful smirk ghosts his lips.

"it seems you've found yourself in quite the predicament haven't you, miss hunter?"

before you can respond, he reaches for your hand again, gripping it firmly.

"how will you escape?"

you hum in thought for a moment before turning your head to fully look at him.

"i'm not so sure that i want to."

the car stops at a red light, and he takes the opportunity to meet your gaze.

"good," his smirk fully stretches across his face now. "i wasn't planning on letting you go anyway."

-

the place in question turned out to be your favorite restaurant.

given the season, both the interior and exterior were decorated with colorful festive lights with cute winter themed decals hanging on the long windows.

(when you pointed out a cute snowman and asked zayne why they had a decal of him, he shot back that despite how it looked, you were as cold to the touch as a snowman before wrapping his scarf around you).

for the time, the restaurant was surprisingly not too busy, granting a cozy atmosphere in the dim lights, a pretty candle lighting up your table for two with small decorations of snow-covered trees in the center.

after pleasant conversation, hushed laughs and plenty of playful bantering over dinner, you advised against zayne ordering any dessert in favor of checking out a new cafe that had recently opened nearby.

(and that just so happened to be a source of both you and zayne's curiosity, but you each unknowingly refrained from visiting on your own in favor of trying it for the first time together).

at the sound of dessert, zayne was quick to pay for the meal (shutting down any argument you may have had at splitting the bill with a simple "nonsense" as he handed his card to the waitress) before ushering you out in what appeared to be haste but you knew was excitement, grasping your hand and walking the short distance through the cold towards the cafe.

-

the little jingle of the bell above the door is light as zayne opens it for you, hand on the small of your back as he leads you in first before following close behind you.

you're welcomed by the cheery voice of the cashier before you both take a look around.

upon entry, there's small shelves to the right of the entrance featuring different types of freshly baked and individually wrapped breads, more shelves against the rightmost wall that feature things from cookies to tarts to even small cakes in a cooler right beside them, and small counters in the center of the floor with featured seasonal items that are cutely displayed around a small christmas tree. to the left of the place is a small seating area, and straight ahead is a large hanging menu behind the cashier with drink options, among other made-to-order desserts.

there don't seem to be many customers at this hour aside from you and zayne, a couple of guests enjoying their desserts at the seating area and one browsing the options. the atmosphere is homey and welcoming, the scents of everything making the place smell absolutely divine.

after taking everything in, you and zayne begin browsing around at the various options displayed, taking a look at what they have and coming up with ideas of what you'd like to get.

as you slowly eye each shelf, carefully surveying every option, you try your best to settle on only two things while simultaneously trying to rationalize buying more because they look too good, there's no way you won't eat them all!

wanting a momentary respite from your inner turmoil, you take a peek at zayne only to let out an amused laugh at his troubled expression, already knowing the inward struggle he must be facing.

even so, you walk up to him, a teasing smile painting your lips.

"have you decided what you'll be getting, doctor?"

he doesn't answer right away, standing at a spot close by the register as he stares between the rows of displayed strawberry desserts, eyes deeply concentrated, a loosely clenched hand held up just under his lips in thought.

"hmm..."

you take a step closer to the display case, one of the various cakes catching your attention.

"oooh, that one looks sooo good!"

zayne looks up at the cashier behind the counter.

"how much for one of everything?"

the cashier visibly startles at the inquiry.

"sorry?"

"zayne!"

at the sound of his name, he looks down at you.

"is something the matter?"

"you are not buying one of everything."

the way his expression morphs from serious to genuinely perplexed is so comical you almost let a laugh slip through your pointed façade.

"why not?" the tone of his voice comes out almost sad.

"because," you take a step closer to him this time. "that's way too much sugar for just one person!"

"the last time i checked, i didn't come into this building alone, did i?"

"that's-"

the cashier, a witness to the bantering, smiles to herself before deciding to speak up again.

"please let me know if you need any help!"

suddenly remembering the audience of one, you feel embarrassed, giving a short nod and a sheepish "thank you" before she goes to check on nearby displays, removing some or rearranging other various sweets.

zayne's attention is still on you.

"well?"

you blink.

"what?"

"surely the both of us can-"

"zayne, i am not letting you buy one of every dessert in here."

the rest of his words die on his lips, and he frowns.

"have it your way."

knowing he would deny it to all hell, you decide against pointing out the very dejected pout he wears in response to your declaration as he goes back to browsing the shelves, the serious look in his eyes returning as he internally struggles to narrow down what he'd like.

. . .

in the end, you settled on the idea of each buying three desserts you wanted to try the most (since their opening special of buy two get one free was active) and sharing them with each other so that you could both have a taste of more items.

(despite this, zayne still picked a total of six items, claiming that the prices were quite exceptional, and that it was "okay to indulge every once in awhile." before you could protest, he had already paid and made his way to a nearby table, wordlessly expecting you to follow).

and though you didn't want to feed into his satisfaction, you had to agree that the amount of desserts he had picked was justified as those turned out to be your favorites (and he quickly finished his other options, only after allowing you a taste first).

. . .

by the time you both exited the bakery, you're met with the sight of snow, ground crunching beneath you as the delicate snowflakes continue their pleasant descent before piling onto the ground.

your eyes are wide, excitement glimmering within them, even when the cold flakes sprinkling over you draw out a shiver from you.

"look zayne, it's snowing!"

"indeed."

his lips curl up, but he's not looking at the snow.

instead, he's gazing at you, a fond adoration in his eyes as he stares at your expression.

you are so precious to him.

before he can suggest getting you out of the cold, you grab his hand, gazing at him.

"let's walk around!"

"and let you catch a cold?" he raises an eyebrow.

you playfully scoff.

"i'll have you know, my immune system is amazing!" you defend.

he offers an unimpressed look.

"i suppose that explains why i had to nurse you back to health the last time you were out in the cold, then?"

"come on, please??? just for a little bit!"

when you beg like that, looking the way that you do, he feels himself weaken.

he never had any intention of denying you of your wishes, anyway.

"alright." he nods.

you let out a small cheer in triumph.

"but..."

he removes a pair of mittens from his coat pocket, handing one of them to you.

"since someone didn't think to bring their own."

you pout but take it from him.

"yeah? and what about my other hand??" you tease, slipping the oversized glove on one hand before holding your other one up and wriggling your fingers to emphasize your point.

wordlessly, he takes a hold of it, pausing your movements in the process as he pulls it towards his lips to blow warm air onto it, never breaking eye contact with you.

"i'll just have to ensure you stay warm another way. "

he lowers your hand still in his, properly intertwining his fingers with yours.

his voice lowers.

"dont let go."

then he leans close to your ear, whispering.

"doctor's orders."

his voice comes out in a deep rumble, almost commanding, your heart fluttering helplessly at the tone.

feeling shy, you aren't given a chance to respond before he begins leading you down the sidewalk, taking in the scenery of the decorative lights encasing almost every nearby building or tree, casting a light glow over the ever falling snow.

though for awhile, your attention is more focused on your intertwined hands and zayne's handsome face than the scenery before you both.

-

eventually reaching an open area, you quickly take note of the amount of snow piled on the ground, breaking away from zayne's hold, telling him that "a snowman is just asking to be created here!"

he watches in amusement as you scurry around, rolling the snow into three big balls before piling them onto each other and then searching for anything that can be used to create a face.

after several minutes, you take a couple of steps back, excitedly revealing the finished product to zayne.

"ta-da!"

he stares at the snowman who seems to be staring right back at him.

"pfft.... zayne-"

"is that... supposed to be me?"

the snowman in question resembles the various snowmen plushies you have piled at home who, you've joked, resemble zayne quite well, and "are so warm and cozy to cuddle when you're away on business or have a late shift at the hospital, you know!" according to you.

except, for this particular snowman, you've wrapped a scarf around its neck— the same scarf zayne wrapped around yours earlier— granting it his style as well.

zayne lets out a sigh before walking up to the snowman, reaching out to grab the scarf before you stop him.

"wait! a picture- i have to take a picture first!"

you fish into your pocket with your ungloved, trembling hand (almost numb from the cold and playing in the snow) as zayne pauses, turning to you and watching you struggle with a deadpan expression.

"if we stay out here any longer, your hand might end up falling off."

you manage to pull your phone out, opening it to the camera app.

"good thing i have a surgeon who can easily reattach it for me~!"

he sighs again.

"take it quickly."

you face the camera to zayne and the snowman, taking a photo of them side-by-side before stepping closer and taking one of all three of you, posing cutely while zayne stares unamused the entire time.

"ok, got it! lets go now-"

as you lower your arm, your phone slips from your shivering grasp and into the plush snow below.

before you can go to retrieve it, zayne leans down, plucking it out, wiping it with his coat before placing it back into your pocket for you.

"thank you," you breathe out, a grateful smile stretching across your lips.

he suddenly leans closer to you, causing your breath to hitch.

"you've got snow..."

his hand reaches up, brushing snow from the top of your head.

he moves his hand down the side of your face, lingering there for a moment before cupping your cheek.

"zayne?"

even when you're freezing like this, you look ethereal under the snowflakes that continue to dance around you, hair a little messy from the chilly wind, eyes shining from the decorative lights nearby, parted lips slightly chapped from the cold and breaths visible thanks to the chill.

he suddenly leans forward, lips easily melding with yours.

words are never needed when everything zayne wishes to say is relayed in his kiss: deep in the way that he loves you, sweet from the desserts you'd shared, loving in his loyalty to you, passionate in that you were his, and he was yours.

in this moment, under the glittered night sky, snowflakes catching in your hair and clothes, surrounded by the soft lights of the festive city, you and zayne seemed to be lost in your own personal winter wonderland reserved for two.

he breaks the kiss shortly, grasping your cold hand in his once more.

"you've had your fun. let's get you someplace warm."

you blink up at him, speechless from the kiss and offering a nod instead, allowing him to quickly lead you back to the car.

he situates you in first before slipping into the drivers seat, quickly turning on the car and clicking the heater on. while it slowly starts up, he retrieves his scarf from his coat (that you didn't see him nab from his snowman-self) and wraps it around your hands.

"to warm them up quicker," he reasons.

"oh? are you sure this isn't your way of restraining me from escaping back into the snow?"

he puts the car in drive before he goes to respond.

"if i had been concerned about that, i assure you i would have tied your hands securely."

wanting to push him some more, you wriggle a hand out from the scarf.

"it appears im free~ what will you do if i try to escape?"

in a single motion, your hand is enveloped by his, holding it down against the small glove box between your seats.

"this."

you wriggle your fingers playfully as you feign trying to escape, only causing his grip to tighten slightly.

"stay still," he speaks softly, yet again in that commanding voice that urges you to comply.

"or are you that eager to learn how surgeons tie knots?"

-

when you both return home (to zaynes place, under his insistence that it was closer, and you loved any excuse to spend more time with him), zayne almost immediately goes to start the flames of the fireplace after shedding you both of your snow covered coats, leading you to sit comfortably in front of it first.

"feel better?"

"yes," you sigh in relief, hands held out towards the flames. "i didn't realize how cold i really was!"

"well, i imagine standing out in the cold and playing in the snow will do that to you. "

you huff out a breath at his response, laying down on the fluffy carpet, peering at him upside-down.

"there's nothing wrong with having a little fun," you refute.

looking at you splayed out in his home like this— light of the dancing flames setting a pretty glow along your figure, hair spread out under you, expression playful from your remark yet satisfied from the warmth, shirt riding up slightly to reveal some of your midriff— along with all of the teasing remarks tonight finally catches up with him, his demeanor changing into something a little darker as he closes the distance, taking the spot beside you.

"but there is something wrong with disobedience."

"huh?" you blink at the man now beside you in question.

"zayne, what-"

he grabs your hand (still held out towards the flames), pinning it down and shifting himself so he's half hovering over you.

"well, when a patient doesn't follow doctors orders, they'll have to pay the price."

you feel your face heating up from the growing tension.

"what are you-"

he squeezes the hand he's holding down.

"you let go of my hand earlier."

"that's-"

your eyes widen in realization.

he suddenly leans down, planting a kiss right atop your pulse point, causing the rest of your words to die on your lips.

"it seems i have to discipline a certain naughty patient who has a streak of disobeying professional orders."

he crashes his lips onto yours in a hungry kiss that you can't help but to completely submit to.

and true to his word, the fireplace was not the only thing warming your bodies in the face of the worsening blizzard outside, breaths mingling with one another in the comfort of the living room, both escaping to your own world for two, pleasure overflowing between the both of you.

after all, the doctor couldn't have you getting sick on his watch, could he?

-

a/n: this took way longer than i thought but once i got the sequence of events in order it slowly started to come together.... js yday the draft was at 1.3k words now the number is flipped.... i love my doctor zayne what can i say :x

*mostly edited but i edit late at night so ill check over for any errors again later*

i could not for the life of me figure out the "proper" word for the storage box between the front seats of a car so its called a glove box pls spare me....

[pumpkinsy0]

Projecting heavily rn:

My A/C broke and I live in Texas and holy shit my house is so hot rn. It’s so bad me and my family have to camp out in the living room with multiple fans. (The house somehow keeps getting hotter)

May I please get some headcanons of how the Curtis gang would deal with this scenario Vs how the Shepard gang would?

🙏 thank you, and I hope both sides of your pillow are freezing tonight

i think ppl who live in the south r better than me bc its hot as hell over there, as soon as someone pisses me off in that heat, i wouldve killed someone but idk thats just me, come to nyc my place has AC!!!get over here anon!!!

also its probably hotter bc fans dont give cold air fr, just spits back the hot hair faster💔💔💔

•out of the two houses, the shepards house is hotter, they dont have good ventilation AND AS A WISE MIDDLE AGED WHITE MAN IN THE SUBURB SAID☝🏽☝🏽☝🏽its not the heat, its the humidity that gets ya

•see the shepard gang grew up in heat, heellllooooo from haitiiiii🙄🙄🙄, typically to them this heat isnt THAT bad but they already know some tricks on order to stay cool, close curtains to block sunlight and open em at night cause thats whe its cooler, bum out in public places for free air conditioning, they have 0 shame

•two bit absolutely made juice/alcohol popsicles, he loves popsicles i can feel it on this guy. they alllll made fun of him before for doing it when it wasnt hot but look at them, begging like sheeple😒😒😒,,,

•okok lets say the shepards had a higher tolerance for the heat, but theyve never rlly had fans, they just kinda rawdogged the temperature, so w the fans theyre so undeniably and proudly selfish😭😭they have the fans swinging side to side but each time its interrupted by someone stopping it when it gets to them, they fight, get even HOTTER, fan is put back on to swinging, rinse and repeat, theyre so counterproductive

•out of the curtis gang, darrys the one who can handle heat the best bc he works in it all the time. his trick??? just take ur shirt off man, expose ur skin, b free. he tells this to the gang n now half of em in their boxers, not exactly what he meant but whatever helps u dude. johnny realllyyy didnt wanna do that so he just got an extra fan his way to help him

•the shepards have very little hot water they can share and this is one of those days wear thats a GOD send, they wait for someone to finish all the hot water, get in that shower to blast cold water, and stay there until someone comes pounding on the door for them to get out. the curtis gang does the same but instead they treat it like a pool and its 2 ppl allowed at a time

•this is a RARE time where curly WANTS his hair braided (into cornrows, theyre quick and easy). his hair left out can only help him sm, it keeps the sun out yea, but his forehead is sweaty and hes getting overstimulated, tim help him out here💔💔💔

•steve and soda have had their heads in the freezer for the longest time, they took out the meat n veggies from in there to go deeper and get a better angle

•boob sweat is one hell of a thing, curly and tim dont understand the torment angela is under. “ill b back” “u said that 5 minutes ago were do u keep going” shes WIPING her BOOB SWEAT AWAY🙎🏽‍♀️now we r both uncomfortable knowing that, next time mind ur beeswax😒

•the curtis gangs speech is literally impaired, theyre all messed up😭most of em barely ate to theyre running off pure hopes and water they keep drinking, its too hot to cook, just eat ice cream guys

•tim has a resting bitch face, for rn he has a resting uncomfortable face which is the most emotion anyone will ever see him having, im not kidding

•soda mixed up juices they had in the fridge, yknow so they could pretend they were rlly on a tropical island w their lil tropical drink, but that thing was so????? first off it didnt even have a taste, they were all just drinking somethin. second of all it hit u w a wave of sugar u didnt want, yea it works in cooling down but now nobody can stand up without feeling theyre gonna pass out, at what point is this a good trade off

[kadereads]

yeah so I read lotm volume 3 really fast…. in like 2 weeks…. I had a feeling I would since I made my last post 🫨 once again coming at y’all with a rambly review

major spoiler warning of course!

.

.

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GEHRMAN SPARROW………

Gehrman Sparrow…..…………..

HURGH UGHHHHHH 💥💥💥 I LOVE HIMMMMM KLEINNNN this guy had me gleeful the entire volume!! 😭😭

he’s so awesome . he is polite and gentlemanly but also cold, calculating, extremely brutal… he snaps at any moment but is hiding a degree of softness that is just inherent of klein’s kind nature. my guy Does Not Care and will mercilessly execute people he deems as disgusting evil sinners who are deserving of it. he will straight up snap out of the blue on someone and begin the bloodbath. he is EVERYTHING 🫶 I enjoy every minute he’s there, act as him on center stage all the time klein please Please

and his confident attitude isn’t for show bc he’s SO STRONG. it’s insane how strong klein has gotten, with both his sequence being much higher and with great items like creeping hunger!! the power to consume souls & use their beyonder abilities + clean up any messes he leaves behind is crazy cool. my intelligent friend klein utilizes everything he has strategically to their fullest. it gives horrifying imagery though whenever that glove opens its mouth and devours its next meal,,, but I admit I clap my hands and grin every time. the ppl he goes after deserve it 🤷

—

danitz!!!!! what a fun guy, I never stopped laughing while reading chapters that showcased his dynamic with gehrman 😭😭 its hilarious to me how klein scared this poor man SO badly that it basically turned him into his loyal servant. his overdramatic ass monologues while gehrman is just straight-faced 😭 a person in the prev tags of my last post said its like:

gehrman, politely: *vague death threat*

klein, internally: what shall I have for dinner tonight? 🤔☕️

danitz: this man is Going to Cannibalize Me.

it’s so accurate help me

danitz smiles through the tears but still runs to seek gehrman’s assistance and continues to follow his orders 💀 god they’re so funny together, a peak comedic duo my sides hurt

-

now guys.

when klein and alger finally met in person I FLIPPED OUT SO HARD

I COULD NOT STOP SMILING. I RAN AROUND MY ROOM AND PUMPED MY FIST IN THE AIRR. finally meeting one of his og tarot club members in the flesh. I’d been wishing to see more of alger since he didn’t do much in the last volume and boy was I satisfied. he easily clocked that the world was gehrman sparrow and mr. fool’s blessed, so impressive! and klein clocked that he clocked it!!! HOUGHGH. the world and the hanged man of course sat down at a table together and communicated their plans and mission vaguely using a deck of tarot cards, and still perfectly understood what the other was saying. I love a duo of two intelligent and handsome bestfriends <3 so happy I loved that chapter sososososo so much

and then I laughed so much when klein added a whole new identity into his beautiful collection, this time the disguise of another godly figure, kalvetua 💀 spirited away the sea god’s scepter under the noses of everybody to use for his own means, reaping all the rewards through the prayers 💀 why not! let’s go!! woohooo!!!!

AND MY FAVORITE ENTITY FROM THE PREVIOUS VOLUME, MAGIC MIRROR ARRODES, CAME BACK!!!!!!!!! IT FOUND A WAY TO COMMUNICATE WITH KLEIN OUTSIDE THE MIRROR BY USING THE RADIO TRANSCEIVER!!! seeing how they are so devoted to “great master” it’s honestly really cute, and they help so much and don’t even ask hard questions- unlike what ikanser has to suffer daily. the favouritism is on full display. and it began to use silly text emojis which was so cute too! arrodes is officially my little guy I’ve decided 💕💖💕

the plot brewing with mr azik continues to be really interesting too. when klein’s assassination attempt on admiral tracy failed and azik took him back later to try and finish the job, and they were interrupted by that high ranking demoness who has a past with azik from like thousands of years ago… she said some pretty concerning things about him. I’m really interested in who azik was before but I really hope he wouldn’t become villainous when he gets all his memories back and stay with klein :(

as for the admiral amyrius part, I think klein did his disguise and acting really well in that difficult role but god the whole thing took such a depressing turn 😭 it made me sad how the original amyrius lost so much in such a short time, his brother lost his job and his lover turned into a monster and had to be killed by klein, as a result of an evil cult targeting klein. the guy had to find out everything of what happened after the fact and that’s so miserable

—

I wanna ramble about klein’s psychology during the previous events I mentioned more extensively now

its really fascinating to read how he struggles with being his other identities. we didn’t see this type of experience with sherlock before, bc he put a lot of his real self in that persona & he wasn’t a faceless back then to change his appearance. gehrman sparrow on the other hand is such a different character compared to himself normally. klein inherently doesn’t want to be cold and cruel to people who are nice to him & sometimes wants to make other decisions, but he does what is uncomfortable anways because he is completely dedicated to portraying such traits and actions as gehrman would, further immersing himself in the identity.

sometimes his real emotions do slip out, like when got sentimental and quoted dunn smith’s line to the young girl donna (that scene was pain) and aside from gehrman, he even started to act as the identities of dead people as a means of wish-fulfillment for their loved ones which is sweet but sad. I feel like klein can’t not be kind for too long even if the main identity he’s playing is a cold-blooded killer

when he tried to assassinate tracy he disguised into the woman helene, who was as you could guess is very much unlike himself physically. with this experience as being her, he learned how to compare his acting to playing an rpg game. with acting as amyrius, he found points of relatability between their lives which allowed his immersion to be more natural, and recognized the struggles of his acting are also similar to the the way movie actors can experience mental health affects from attaching themselves so much into their characters. klein similarly tries so hard to not lose himself completely in his personas, but there is an element of pressure in this case bc losing himself could lead straight to losing control and becoming a monster

in the end, all of this experience has allowed klein to know more of who he himself is. “become anyone but ultimately become yourself in the end” after all. it was an amazing character arc to see him go through which was underlying all the action :D there was a fantastic monologue at some point where he reflected on who he is and listed the all aspects he thought of, which I’ll paraphrase:

“a person who's very sentimental, a person from earth but who has been reconstructed into a new person, whose time with the nighthawks deeply influenced him, a person who wants to relax but has no choice but to do important things, who keeps his principles, who gives things up for the people he loved and who hides pain while showing a smile. a person who overcomes traumas but doesn’t cross his personal line, a person who is a guardian, a miserable wretch constantly fighting against threats and madness”

this was really beautiful and moving to me </3 whenever he quotes dunn smith though it feels like a shot to my heart

—

moving on! admiral of stars cattleya was a great addition to the tarot club :3 she is really smart and cool, she knows a lot of things and has good resource channels to use for the gathering. I like that the connection also proved to be quickly valuable when gehrman contacted her to board her ship to journey the dangerous seas to finally find the mermaids!!

honestly that whole voyage was a lot more than I expected. I certainly didn’t expect the ship to produce milk and for a guy’s head to sprout a watermelon um ? thank you frank for that 💀 and the way evil admirals and monsters decided now was the perfect time to jump them, it was insane. thank you anderson for that 💀 they’re both fun and silly guys though. I especially liked anderson’s addition into the adventuring squad he’s charming, and the situations weren’t so much of a problem either bc klein navigated them well. the battle against admiral hell + his undead had the return of the whistle strat!!! and the faceless potion fully digested right after!!! then he easily found the mermaids the next day and drank his potion!!!!

KLEIN IS A MARIONETTIST NOWWWWW :D

the powers are really terrifying I will be honest. the description and his later use of them gave me chills to read, what a horrible death to undergo

also the worldbuilding this voyage provided us was amazing! the presence of mysterious remnant godly powers in the waters that pulls everyone into a strange dream realm every blackout night, which so happens to be a projection of the giant king’s court, which is located in the forsaken land of god… seeing the chapters of klein exploring this realm which ran parallel to the sun derrick exploring the dangerous “afternoon town” was amazing and obvs on purpose because it turns out— that realm? these waters? might be the key of what connects the forsaken land of god to the outside world. I definitely think we will be back here again one day, and hopefully it’ll be to free derrick from his prison

mr. fool enforcing a punishment for the first time on cattleya bc she broke the rules afterwards, I giggled :3c yessir you’re normally so chill for a deity figure, show them how scary the fool can actually be

the klein & company isekaied into a magical book arc was fun too, I liked getting introduced to that group of heroes who had gotten pulled into the book in the past and lived there for centuries or millenias. one being a giant, another an elf, it was the first time we’ve seen these magical races! AND KLEIN CONTROLLED A DRAGON WITH HIS MARIONETTIST POWERS!!!!!!!!!

they were all gonna go home together after fighting the dragon I was so happy guys!

but their new friends took one step out and instantly died. they died

my heart PLUMMETED. you cant just give me a new set of likeable characters, give them a chance at hope after so long, but then time inevitably catches up to them now that the spell is undone and they rapidly age and disintegrate into dust while holding each other in their final moments. what the hell I cried it made me so upset 😭😭😭 but at least they got to take their ashes to bury, and their powers live on as beyonder characteristics :’)

—

THE WORLD. I NEED TO GO CRAZY NOW FOR A SECOND

everybody in the tarot club is aware that the world = hero bandit = mr. fool’s blessed, bc he smartly chose to leak it and I’m so glad he did. the exception of course being alger and cattleya who know a bit more, that gehrman sparrow = the world = hero bandit = mr fool’s blessed 👏 hopefully the others can find this out too later, but what makes me happy is the tarot club has such a good understanding of klein’s motivations & actions now. and thus have grasped at the bigger picture and inner workings of the secret plots he’s trying to uncover!

seriously The World persona is so awesome 😭 he comes across as such a powerful and capable figure to the tarot club. and unlike the fool, the world is the manifestation of klein’s real world identity… so when they praise him they are directly praising my guy klein who walks around and goes through trauma and has come so far, gotten so strong, which makes me feel really proud

klein moretti, sherlock moriarty, gehrman sparrow. combined together is The World, a cycle of death and rebirth. he still corresponds to The Fool, the lofty identity that exists as a god that’s not present in the real world. ofc nobody knows this though

The World whose feet are planted firmly on the earth to act in the real world, The Fool who resides in god’s domain distantly floating above the grey fog. two “counterparts” of the same Klein, but both occupying different realms. united & connected they sit at opposite ends of the grand table representing the beginning & the end of a grand cycle of life

the literal meaning of the world tarot card:

“The World card represents an ending to a cycle of life, a pause in life before the next big cycle beginning with The Fool. A connection between heaven and earth, it is an indicator of unity and change.”

ohhghebdngmhn so so so awesome

—

moving on to the finale of the volume, everything proceeded to get soooo messy so fast because that mother tree of desire from the rose school of thought wants klein dead with a passion <3 so he suddenly had to fight for his life! but he was prepared by some degree thanks to the orange light which was a relief!!

I LOVED how klein fought back by making the situation even more insanely chaotic, using literally everything in his arsenal to call over multiple evil demigod existences all to this same spot to duke it out while he ran for it 💀 reinette ✅ rose school of thought angel ✅ true creator’s aura ✅ numinous episcopate messenger ✅ mr azik ✅ jahn kottman ✅ aurora order saint ✅

I was laughing so hard as they just kept coming over klein was really generous to invite this many people to his fun party <33 and in the process he successfully hunted admiral of blood, wraith senor! and turned him into his marionette…! stuck the guy into a coin like a pokemon he can send out whenever he pleases that’s wild 😭 this should be interesting

back in backlund once again, getting a brand new identity… but the first thing klein does upon returning + last scene of the volume is bringing the ashes of one of the groselle’s travels companions to their final resting place. so sweet </3

—

HEY WHY IS VOLUME 3 OVER SO SOON IT PASSED QUICKLY??? YEAH I KNOW I READ IT FAST BUT I WANT IT BACK 😭😭😭😭 GEHRMAN SPARROW COME BACK PLEASE I DONT WANT YOU TO GO YET I LOVE YOU 😭😭😭

this volume was filled with way more action compared to the previous, lots of cool bounty hunts, but also the introduction of new likeable characters like danitz, cattleya, anderson, bernadette & the return of other characters into more prominent roles like leonard and arrodes :D also the reveal of new enemies like the mother tree of desire, and lots of worldbuilding!! mostly regarding the names of the kings of angels & the nature of the sea & the giant king’s court, plus the groselle’s travels book

I was pretty surprised we didn’t see amon again after he disappeared cliffhanger-style in volume 2. nor did we have as much ~wild~ stuff happen with the city of silver. oddly this felt like a much shorter volume? but it was still packed too? is that just bc I read quickly? 💀

most of the time was spent digesting the faceless potion, and klein only advanced his sequence once instead of twice. it does make sense that the process has gotten more complicated tho bc the higher the sequence, the more difficult ingredients and complex rituals it takes to advance. also there was a bit more timeskips here, even one that lasted a full 2 months! but I do think they were well paced

I have to say that the two things which made this volume great for me was 1st, the development klein received. he learned so much about himself & also showed his powerful abilities and capability, he fought against a HUGE variety of enemies and each of the battles I think were fantastically written. 2nd was his character of gehrman sparrow. I think I’ve made it clear by now how much I love that persona, I’m gonna miss him but I’m happy he will confirmed be back at least for a bit since he has a date planned with alger to an island :3

the next goal on the horizon is sequence 4 bizarro sorcerer!!! it already sounds really interesting, but surely will be really hard to get. so excited to see klein’s step to become a demigod >:D

—

onto thoughts about characters~

I’ve already rambled a lot about my analysis of klein over this volume, but there’s one bit I haven’t mentioned yet. can we talk about how he still thinks of leonard so fondly? he calls him “my dear poet” that is so…. I will cry. these two didn’t know each other for the longest time ever but they were close, they were partners dang it. they lost everything they had at the same moment. leonard was crushed by what happened and still sees ghostly visions of dunn & klein formed by his regrets. he’s on top of the case of sherlock moriarty while not even knowing it’s klein, like its fate bringing them together again. klein is concerned for leonard’s safety from afar, knowing there’s a parasite angel zoroast hitching a ride on his soul. man it hurts but is also so nice how they’re still relevant for each other. I hope they’ll meet again one day with the truths revealed

PROFESSING MY LOVE FOR ARRODES AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 💕💗💖 please they are SOOOOO cute throughout every appearance in this volume. the little emojis, its just happy to be helpful to klein and is so eager about it <3 the scene where they wished klein a happy birthday melted my heart it was very sweet :(( ugh I love them holds them gently

alger was great as I already said, and I don’t have too much to say about audrey this time, we didn’t really see her. but I’m happy she’s part of the psychology alchemists, finding secrets in the collective subconscious and smoothly advancing :D same for sun derrick and moon emlyn

with fors I have enjoyed her side plot with her teacher and learning the secrets of the Abraham family, cattleya is fun too! she was stubborn and just observing at first but has since eased up in the tarot club now which I’m glad about. it must never be a dull day on her ship when it’s full of such interesting characters like frank lee

my biggest lore questions right now are:

who are the other kings of angels and are they still alive

where is amon I’m lowkey scared he’s gonna jump out at any point

what is an “ancient bane” and how does this relate to reinette tinekerr. who is she

still the same questions I have had since before, what is the truth of the forsaken land of god & the hornacis mountain peak

—

I’ve been continually adding more songs to my lotm playlist and I Really wanna know what happens next soooo

onto volume 4 💥💥🫡

[celiamae99]

JJ Maybank x Reader

Pt 2!

Warnings: mentions of self harm, reader has anxiety and depression, swearing, therapy, sexual assault, Rafe being a dick

Mature readers ONLY. 18+. I will check profiles periodically and will block minors bc this post is MA!

You sat in the therapists office, hating that you were here. You had been going weekly because Sarah made you. She drove you to and from appointments, making sure you would go to the appointment.

Your therapist was nice enough. She knew how hard life was for you and she gave you grounding tools to help with your anxiety, which was now more manageable. She helped with the depression and managing thoughts. You created a routine you stuck to religiously. You were doing better. You weren’t suicidal anymore.

Once you left, you got back into Sarah’s car.

“So,” she prompted. “How was it.”

“It was fine. We talked about a new breathing exercise. And we talked about what to do when I see JJ again.”

“Did she tell you not to slam the door in his face?”

“I opened it back up!” You defended. “I didn’t think it was him and I wasn’t ready to see him. I did apologize.” You told her guilty. In all fairness, it did shock you to see JJ on the other side of the door.

She gave you a look and you turned the music on. Taylor Swift was playing, per usual, and you let the music hit your soul.

“Who could ever leave me darling? Who could stay?” You harmonized with the music until Sarah pulled up in front of the auto body shop where JJ worked. “What are we doing here?” You asked, mildly panicking. You didn’t want to see JJ. You guys hadn’t spoken in days.

“His bike is broke and if I don’t pick him up he’ll go home and Luke is out of prison.” She told you and you groaned, annoyed that there was no way out. JJ would not be going home for any reason you decided but that did not mean you wanted to see him.

“Hey,” JJ said getting into the car. “I need food.”

“We can go to The Cut.” Sarah said, driving off. “We can get take out and watch movies tonight.”

“I can’t,” you said quickly, trying to think of an excuse.

“And why the fuck not?” Sarah demanded. She wanted you and JJ to get back together and there was no rhyme or reason why you couldn’t go and she knew that.

“Because, I have to…” you thought quickly. “Study for History.”

“We don’t have a history test until next week.” JJ deadpanned. Well, shit.

“You’re coming and that’s final.” You rolled your eyes, sinking into your seat and turning up Sarah’s music so you wouldn’t have to talk.

“I’ve been the archer, I’ve been the pray.” You sang quietly.

Once you guys got to The Cut, you ordered your food. As you were about to tell Kiara’s dad what you wanted, JJ spoke up. “She wants a bacon cheeseburger, no onion, extra mayo.” You and Sarah stared at him. “Fries for the side.” JJ gave you an award winning smile that made you a little dizzy.

As the food was being prepared, you were startled when the bell dinged, signaling somebody coming in. It was Rafe, Kelce, and Topper. You sucked in a breath and instinctively moved closer to JJ.

“Well, well, well, what do we have here, boys?” Rafe smiled wickedly and you gulped.

“What do you want?” Sarah snapped at her brother angrily.

“What do I want?” He asked stepping towards you. “I think we all know exactly what I want.” You shrank back.

“Fuck off Rafe, nobody wants you here.” Sarah told her brother.

You were no stranger to Rafe and his antics. He had been flirting with you ever since you and JJ started your separation. Tried desperately to get into your pants. Touched you every chance he got.

JJ clenched his fist. This wasn’t good. JJ had a temper and you knew he would get the shit beaten out of him if Rafe said something about you.

“Come on, princess. You’re not with you’re little progue anymore. Why don’t you come on over and I’ll show you a damn good time.”

You were frozen in place but managed to say, “No.”

Rafe sneered at you. JJ got ready to punch him but you grabbed his wrist.

“It’s not worth it JJ,” you told him. “Please, let’s just go.”

JJ stormed out of the restaurant and you followed him to Sarah’s car, she stayed to yell at her brother and get the food.

“Don’t,” he said before you could say anything. “Just don’t, Y/N. Okay? You’re going to say you’re not worth it and it’s not true, okay? You’re worth it and no matter what terms we’re on, I’m going to fight for you.”

You stared at him, mouth agape.

“So I may not have fought him this time but I can promise you, if he lays a finger on you, I’ll kill him.”

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

Instead of a low key night, you guys decided to go to a keger. Which in retrospect, you should’ve known it would be bad.

You were in pretty deep, dancing with some girls from school when a body pressed harshly against yours. You turned around fast and saw you were face to face with Rafe. You tried to move away, but his grip on your arm was too tight. He dragged to you over to a empty area.

“Let me go,” you cried trying to tug your arm out of his reach. “Rafe! Let go!”

“No can do princess.” He said breathing heavily on your neck and you cringed, hating this more than anything you’d ever experienced. You shoved harshly at him but he wouldn’t budge. “I’ve wanted you for a long time.” He ran his free hand along your back side, and you cried out again. “And now,” he said gripping you tightly, “I’m going to have you.”

Before things could go further, Rafe was shoved out of your way. You gripped your arm to your chest. You breathed in and out, rapidly; you tried to catch your breath. “JJ!” You screamed at him. “JJ stop!”

John B, Sarah, Kiara, and Pope all ran over at the sound of your yells. Topper and Kelce came too. Pope and John B dragged JJ off Rafe and Topper and Kelce helped get Rafe on his feet.

“That little slut wanted it. You left her and now she’s open for grabs.” Rafe spewed running his thoughts together unintentionally. “She wanted it, alright?” You we’re crying, clutching on to Sarah.

“Let me at him!” JJ bellowed. “I’m going to kill him! I’m going to fucking kill him for touching my girl! John B, let me GO!”

Once the Kooks left JJ stumbled towards you.

He grabbed your hips gently and pulled him to you. You searched his eyes before wiggling out of his grip and running towards your house. You couldn’t do this. You couldn’t handle any of this. All the people, all the emotions. You couldn’t. So you did what you did best, and ran. You were done fighting.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

You slid down the wall of your bedroom, tears escaping you. You wanted JJ but you knew he didn’t want you. He just didn’t want Rafe to want you. And Rafe, oh God, Rafe had… you looked at your wrist and held it to you.

You felt JJ slide down next to you. “I should’ve killed him.” JJ said bitterly, kicking the floor.

“I don’t want you in jail.” You whispered.

“I know we’re complicated right now Y/N, but I promise you that he won’t touch you again.” He vowed to you. You glanced at his hand, which the skin was broken open and bleeding. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” he reached over and tucked hair behind your ear.

“I know,” you said softly, gripping his good hand and squeezing softly. “Now, let’s clean up your hand.”

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

Once you guys had settled down, your thoughts started racing again. What was going to happen? You admitted that you loved each other, but did that mean he wanted to get back together? Yes, you were ready but that didn’t mean he was. It also didn’t mean he was ready to take on your baggage. He had his own life, own problems, he didn’t hear you adding in to his plate. Before you could spiral further, JJ started talking.

“I meant it when I said love you.” He whispered, rolling over on the bed so his face was hidden in your neck. “I’ll always love you. I always have.”

“I meant it when I said I love you.” You told him back. “You’re my favorite person JJ.”

“I took time, I found myself, and I’m still working on me but I’m better.” He said honestly. Hoping that this would be the last time he had to beg for you.

“I have too. I’m still in weekly therapy.” You whispered softly. “That might have to happen for a while.” You said guiltily. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. Therapy is not something to be sorry about. Ever.”

“You don’t need my baggage on top of what you have JJ. I’m a mess. I always have been and I probably always will be.”

You closed your eyes, screwing them shut. You didn’t want to see JJ’s reaction. JJ kissed up your neck softly before pulling away and looking at you.

“I’m ready if you are.” He said looking deep into your eyes once you opened them. “But I’m also willing to fight for us. And I’m willing to wait as long as you need me to. I don’t care about your baggage. It’s the least of my problems. I always want to take care of you. And I always will.”

“I can’t do a break again.” You told him seriously. “It wasn’t right for us to break the way we did and I’m stilling hurting from that.” Your voice cracking. “I know you wanted what was best for us, but it wasn’t what was best for me. We work through our problems JJ. We always have and we always will.”

“We can work out our problems together.” He promised. “As long as you stay in therapy as long as you need. And you are honest with me when shit hits the fan.”

“And as long as you tell me when you’re dad is back and when you’re spiraling.”

“Deal.” He promised.

“Pinky promise?” You raised your eyebrows at him and held out your pinky.

“Pinky promise.” He said wrapping his pinky around yours.

[sungbeam]

𝐜𝐢𝐫𝐜𝐥𝐞𝐬

nonidol!lee hyunjae x f!reader

6.7k words (my hand slipped, sorry), fluff, angst, low-key e2l, ex friends 2 implied lovers?, low-key rich kid au, swearing, drinking and drunk talks/crying, a shitty situation, a bitchy ex gf, uhh very low-key hurt/comfort?, lots of mentions of pizza and soft drinks, THE PLOT IS SO RUSHED IM SORRY I CRAMMED.

a/n: requests now closed! whew,,, what a doozy 😭 im sorry if it feels rushed bc it low-key really was such a rushed and ambitious plot on my part. to the anon who requested it, ik it's not exactly what u asked for and im sorry ><

The pizzeria was like your second home. Maybe it was your home, but you weren't sure if calling a pizza place your home was the best word. It acted as your bubble away from academic responsibilities, family obligations, and anything else you wanted to forget. For the past three years of your college career, you made this place your comfort spot, while also picking up some spare change.

Your friend and co-worker Dae bumped her hip with yours as she passed by you with her hands full of empty plastic cups to refill. "Your group of banshees just walked in," she mused, slipping past you to the fountain drink machine on the bar counter.

Your head perked up and watched the front door on the other side of the room open to let a wave of your friends in. Dae liked to joke that your friend group consisted of a bunch of "banshees" from how loud they could be. You couldn't blame her at all; it was hilariously accurate. On a bad night, the group's volume could reach levels of a nightmare baby being birthed from the Devil's anus.

"Yn-ie!" Chanhee and Jacob waved to you as the group of five made their way through the tight spaces between tables.

"Hey, guys," you greeted them. "You're so lucky a group just left." You nodded toward the circular table in the back corner where your friends often made their home. It was big enough to seat seven—ten, if you squished—but it was almost always for you and your friends.

The pizzeria's owner and your boss, Mr. Moretti, usually didn't mind your friends occupying the space. You were pretty sure he was glad your friends were hiding themselves away in the back. (Not because of the merriment, just because of the noise. Some customers just wanted pizza and a quiet night, and you could respect that.)

"Waitress! Waitress!" Changmin screeched, waving one of his hands around like a lunatic.

You came up to the table with an unimpressed look on your face, and Kevin wrestled his neighbor back into this seat. "Okay, so Changmin doesn't get to eat tonight," you drawled and braced your hands on the backs of Sunwoo and Chanhee's chairs.

"I was just wondering how long it takes for someone to get service around here," Changmin jested. He feigned one of those pompous brushes of his hair, mocking one of the rich pricks who had come in here last month thinking that the RIGHT TO REFUSE SERVICE sign didn't apply to him. Changmin broke into a lopsided grin at your arched brows. "What? I think I'm funny."

Your eyes widened in a silent 'Can you believe this guy?'

"He's sugar high because someone let him get to the cupcakes," Kevin directed his flat gaze to his counterpart, Jacob.

Jacob's hands lifted in innocence. "What? No one was eating them, and he said he was hungry."

"Okay, drinks, folks!" You clapped to regain their attention. You did, after all, have other customers. "What're we feeling tonight?"

A chorus of drink orders flew up into the air—coke, iced water, Sprite, lemonade—and you nodded, stepping away to grab them those very beverages. Your friends had all been here enough times to know exactly what was on the menu, so while you stepped away briefly for their drinks, they could deliberate and get back to you as soon as you returned.

Like a well oiled machine, you delivered them their drinks, and Kevin doled out the lineup for tonight.

"You know, I was thinking of painting my nails black," Kevin said as he finished off the order. He held his hand out in front of him, inspecting the state of his bare nails.

Sunwoo straightened in his seat. "We should do it together, hyung!—I mean… you could probably paint my nails. I dunno if you should trust me with one of those thin ass brushes."

"You're right," Chanhee chimed in, "we shouldn't."

You snickered to yourself as you left your friends to their own devices and pinned their order sheet to one of the clips hanging in the kitchen window. There was a set of plates set out on the window sill, the bill reading for table three, and you picked it up to take over to them. Dae appeared next to you, tightening her ponytail, and grabbed the dishes for table four right beside it.

With both your hands full, you departed to deliver your respective orders.

As you set the dishes off food down onto table three, you heard the telltale swish of the door opening, and night air flooded into the room. On instinct, you straightened with a smile to greet them. "Hi! Welcome—" your voice died on your throat, and when his eyes locked with yours, you stuttered, "—in. For how many?"

Lee Hyunjae brushed a hand through his blond hair, his other arm wrapped around the shoulders of a girl who was unfortunately familiar to you. A couple of the guys with him, you recognized, too, but he was the one who had made you trip over your words.

One of them with jet black hair and kind, feline-like eyes, lifted four of his fingers in a wordless signal.

You nodded, lips set in a firm line, and gestured to the open four-seater at table eight.

You tucked your empty tray beneath your arm, mentally thanking anyone who was listening that his party was seated in Dae's section and not yours. Thank god for odd numbers.

Dae was swift to chirp out her usual cheeriness to the newcomers, and you scurried back over to the register to cash a table's check. As you did so, your eyes flitted up toward Hyunjae's table. He glanced over at you periodically, looking away whenever you were already looking at him.

What the hell was he doing here? You wanted to yell, scream. Out of all the places, out of all the nights, out of all the times… how long had it been since you last saw him, you wondered to yourself as you let the bitterness seep into your bones and meld with the marrow. It was a feeling you knew all too well.

You strode over to table seven to set their check down on the edge of the table. Everything in the pizzeria was so close together; it was near impossible not to catch the words being exchanged at table eight.

"—don't understand why you chose this dump, Hyunjae." That was the girl, the one who's face made you want to throw something at it. Her name was Kyla, and the last time you saw her in person, she had just become Hyunjae's girlfriend.

Sometimes you questioned how they even managed to stay together so long, but then again, people like them deserved each other.

"Eric just wanted pizza, babe," drawled the blond, his arm casually draped over the back of her chair.

The two others seated at the table consisted of the man with jet black hair, and another with a medium-toned brown hair peeking out of a gray hoodie. The latter said, "You guys'll love this place! Their breadsticks are literally the fluffiest things in the world."

A smile curled onto your face at that comment. Now that you thought about it, you'd seen him around before.

You slid over to table one and began stacking the dirty dishes left behind by customers who had gone. Table eight's conversation continued.

"Is it normal to be able to see grease in the air?" Kyla gagged, her nose wrinkling in disgust. She soaked in the close quarters of the restaurant with little appreciation.

The other third wheel at table eight, the one with black hair, lifted his eyebrows. "It's cozy in here, Kyla."

"Yeah, just give it a chance," Hyunjae chimed in.

You brushed past their table to grab table seven's check and hustle it back over to the register. You met Dae at the counter, her hands once again full with cups that needed filling.

A grunt left her lips. "Table eight," she began.

"Yeah," you agreed. "Sheesh."

Her head turned to you over her shoulder. "You know 'em?"

"Unfortunately." You pursed your lips. "It's been awhile," you amended. "I only know the couple at the table—enough to say, good luck, girl."

Dae made a face, but she pulled her shoulders back to solidify her posture. You always admired her work ethic and her customer service skills. As fellow waitresses during many a dinner rush hour, you both had to deal with your own handfuls of difficult people. At this point, it wasn't difficult to sniff them out from a mile away. There were some days you just wanted them to yell at you and get it over with.

Just as Dae left to go drop off drinks, your friends' order hit the window sill. You tucked the finished bill for table seven into your apron pocket and grabbed the trays to set on the table for your friends.

"You look like you're about to gnaw my fingers off, Jacob," you teased with a twinge of nervousness.

The man grinned at you, with teeth. "I'm hungry."

"Valid." You backed away from the table, and the carnage began.

You laughed, ducking your head, as you left your friends to their feast. You arrived at table seven and wished them a good night—

"Do you not have cherry coke? Isn't that, like, a universal fountain drink?"

You glanced over to see Dae's mouth twitch just slightly, but gave nothing else away. "No, we only have regular Coke and Diet Coke; I said that earlier, miss."

Kyla stared at her as if she'd just gotten her puppy revoked. "But they both taste like ass."

"You can have a fruit punch instead," Dae offered.

"But I don't want fruit punch."

You saw that the other two boys at the table fidgeted nervously. They were making eyes at Hyunjae, urging him to do something.

He seemed to lift his gaze to yours at that exact moment and you wondered what he saw in them. Something shifted in him, a silent acceptance of surrender.

The next thing you knew, he was leaning into the conversation. "Ky, you can just get a water or something and then we'll go get a drink after this. How does that sound?"

She threw a look over at him. "I really just want a cherry coke, Hyunjae. If I have to be forced to eat at this place, then the least you could do is get me a cherry coke."

Okay, that was enough.

"Is there a problem here?" You asked, sidling up beside Dae. You saw her loosen up out of the corner of your eye.

Kyla opened her mouth to retort something, but she halted abruptly. Her head cocked to the side, eyes narrowing, like she was trying to figure something out. You knew the moment she recognized you. A slow smile curled onto her mouth. "Oh my god… Yn Ln. Mommy and daddy kick you out or something? Why are you working at this dump?"

You were certain your eye started twitching.

Hyunjae grappled her shoulder. "Kyla."

"This is gold," she chirped. "Wow, I didn't think anything good could come of this dinner, but—" she sneered, "wow. You look awful."

"Takes one to know one," you said with venom dripping from your words. "We have a right to refuse service, ma'am, so if you don't quit badgering my friend and me, then I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

She didn't seem to catch your drift. "No. Get me. A cherry coke."

You suppressed every urge to fuck this girl up. To Dae, you murmured, "Can you cover my tables?"

"For sure, girl," she said, giving you a reassuring clasp on the shoulder. "Should I call Moretti?"

"No, I think we should be fine—"

"Wait until I tell everyone I know about how absolute ass this place is," Kyla ripped you back out into reality. She had her phone out now, and Eric, the guy in the hoodie, was reaching across the table to stop her.

You weren't allowed to touch her, you reminded yourself. You could do this with just words. No matter how much it killed you to not sucker punch her stupid, pearly whites in. "I'm going to have to ask you to leave," you told her through gritted teeth. "Either you buckle down with your regular Coca-Cola, or you get out."

"How about—no."

All breath dissipated from your lungs when you felt the carbonated liquid dumped in your face, the blocks of ice just missing your eyes. The entire establishment seemed to freeze with you.

You scoffed, slowly wiping the soda from your eyes and shaking out your arms. You couldn't seem to form coherent speech.

"What the fuck is going on here?" You recognized Kevin's hardened voice behind you, his hand squeezing your shoulder to tell you he was here.

As Kyla and Kevin dueled it out, you found Hyunjae's eyes again. To his credit, he seemed horrified and apologetic, his mouth parted in shock. But then again, he didn't have much credit anymore in your book.

Your hands fisted. You wanted to yell at him to get out. It had been a decent evening, a good evening, before he and his like came in and threw a drink in your face.

You didn't want to address the burning bitterness that coursed beneath all the annoyance and anger—out of everything, why didn't he say anything? Why didn't he try harder to help you? Why was he with her when he could be with y—nevermind. That didn't matter.

Even now, your back still ached from when he'd last left it stabbed.

"Are you okay, Yn-ie?"

You realized that Hyunjae and his party had gone now, and the shop patrons were slowly going back to whatever they had been doing before. Chanhee appeared before you with a couple napkins from the dispenser on the table, and Dae rushed over with a massive roll of paper towels. Your other friends had flocked over, too, to help clean up and also attend to customers while you pulled your shit together.

You gave a nod, finding your voice to tell them so. Your gaze casted briefly toward the front door where you knew he wouldn't ever be stepping back into.

You told yourself that was a good thing.

It was late when you finally pushed out of the back doors of the pizzeria building. Your car was parked out back with many of the other employee cars; it was just a lot more convenient and a lot less traffic. It had been a couple days since the fiasco with Kyla and Hyunjae, and you hadn't heard or seen him once since then.

That was a good thing. It was supposed to be a good thing. After all, why would he suddenly reappear in your life now? What purpose or what significance did that have?

You were going to try and forget about him again. Your life was plenty good without him, and yet…

"Yn."

Speak of the Devil. You swore under your breath as you nearly tripped over the curb. His voice was haunting, as was his presence, his whole silhouette. You'd once found a home with all those things—with him.

You and he stopped beside your car. "What are you doing here?" You asked him.

Hyunjae had his hands shoved into the pockets of his leather jacket. "I, uhm," he began, "I wanted to say sorry."

"Sorry?" You parroted. The word was sticky in your mouth and it clung to all the wrong crevices.

"Yeah, for the other night." He clasped the back of his neck. "I… I broke up with her, by the way."

Your eyes widened at his words. He broke up with Kyla? A part of you wanted to pump the sky and jump up and down—finally. Fucking finally! But there was another part of you, the rational one, who yanked you back to Earth and smacked you in the head to think about it. Three years of dating that girl, and just now he decided to break up with her? What was the tipping point? There was no way he didn't know she acted like a spoiled brat all the time.

What was so good about her anyway? You thought you had understood at the time—she had more money, more connections. Her parents were old money rich, not entrepreneurs like yours. It was stupid to think that was the reason, and you couldn't afford to go down that rabbit hole of methodology again.

"So?"

Your singular word seemed to slap him in the face. "So? I—" Frustration flickered across his face for a split second. Now he knew how you felt.

You couldn't wait for him to say anything; you had so much to say to him. "Listen Jaehyun," you said plainly. "I don't know what you want from me. You broke up with your girlfriend? Good for you. You're sorry for the other night? Okay. I don't know if you expect me to grovel and praise you for owning up for once—"

"Okay, what?" He cut in. "First of all, I don't expect you to grovel or praise me or whatever. Second, what do you mean 'owning up for once?'"

"I mean it exactly like I said it." You clenched the strap of your bag in your hand. Crazy how your car was literally right next to you, but you couldn't get into it. Your feet were glued to the street, and a part of you wanted to know how this ended. "The last time I saw you, Kyla laughed in my face, and you encouraged her. You dropped me like our years of friendship meant jack shit to you. I don't know what you're trying to pull, Jaehyun, and I don't wanna know."

Hyunjae leaned his head back, eyes closed for a second. "Yn, it's so much more complicated than that."

You stuck your tongue in your cheek. "That's such bullshit, and you know it. You don't get to come back and tell me this." There was a shakiness in your voice now, and you knew you had to get going or risk yelling. "That's just not fair."

"I know it's not fair."

"Good."

"Fine," he bit out. "I don't even know why I'm here."

Your hand found purchase on the driver's side door. Say something. Give me a reason to stay. "Maybe your sense of guilt has finally returned and your brain wanted to make amends."

He rolled his eyes, and it felt like a stab in your chest. "I'm going to leave now."

"Thank god." The words tasted sour in your mouth and you realized that he hadn't given you a reason to stay; in fact, it had been the exact opposite.

You both went your separate ways again. When you clambered into your car and watched him walk away through your rear view, it dawned on you that the entire conversation had been one massive circle. You wanted to hear him out—of course, you did.

You used to know him, after all. You used to know him so well. And perhaps that was why you hadn't just now.

"We need to talk."

A pair of hands slammed down on your desk and you nearly fell out of your chair. You tugged your earbuds out of your ear to give whoever this was a piece of your—

You frowned. "Oh. It's you."

Hyunjae frowned back at you. He was wearing a jean jacket today, hair styled presentably. He didn't have to look so good in this lighting, but you supposed even the sun liked to favor him. "Yes, it's me. Can you get up so we can—" He nodded out toward the library window beside you, "—talk?"

"So you want us to jump out the window?"

"You are so annoying."

Your smile was saccharine. "Not as annoying as you."

It had currently been around fifteen hours since he showed up at the back alley to confront you with that sorry apology. You'd woken up this morning less mad and more sad… smad. Sure, you were smad. It seemed that a night of sleep hadn't deterred your ex-best friend from talking to you, and you couldn't decide if that was a good or bad thing.

"You don't even go to this school," you told him in a pathetic attempt to wave him away without actually waving him away.

"This is a public campus, Yn." He pulled out the seat across from you before you could protest. "I don't have to go to this school."

You scowled. The organ in your chest was beating awfully fast—you really hoped you weren't about to get in a screaming match with him here of all places. "What do you want, Hyunjae? You can't just show up everywhere I go unannounced."

"I don't do that."

"I'm starting to think you're obsessed with me, actually."

"Will you just—"

"Heya, Yn." Relief flooded through you at the sight of Changmin and Sunwoo walking up to your table. The former narrowed his eyes behind his dark-framed glasses. "Everything okay?"

You flipped your notebook closed and swiftly packed all of your items up. "Yeah, perfectly," you said. Hyunjae didn't follow as you stood up. "Bye, Hyunjae."

As you walked toward the library exit, Changmin and Sunwoo converged on either side of you. "What was that all about?" Sunwoo asked, his head peering behind you at the boy who was no doubt still sitting at the table. "Why is he here?"

You shook your head and pushed out onto the university grounds, propping the door open for your friends trailing behind. "Dude, I have no idea. He dropped by on my way out of work last night—"

"He what?"

"It wasn't even a productive conversation," you told them. You didn't know where you were going, but you turned around to face them as you walked backward along the path. Maybe you shouldn't have just left him there. "I don't even know how he knew I was at the library."

Changmin's mouth quirked downward. "Isn't this like… kind of creepy? What's with him anyway?"

"Yeah, Yn, how do you know him?" Sunwoo chimed in.

You sighed, face scrunching up as you thought about where to begin. Swiveling back to front, your friends clung onto you—both physically and to your words. "Our parents loathe each other, because they're business rivals, but Hyunjae and I went to the same schools when we were kids and we became friends."

It had been the two of you against the world—best petty friends. That first time his parents had driven him over to your house for a play date, the looks on both yours and his parents had been priceless. It'd been a wonder that they'd let you continue with the play date. From that point on, however, you both became friends for life, all despite the odds.

At least, that was how it had been.

Three years ago, just before both of you were going to begin your college careers, he had pretended that everything between the two of you was nothing more than dumpster fire. He ended up with Kyla, he became a jerk, and you'd spiraled. Had it been something you'd done? Had it been you? Did his parents open his eyes to your families' petty rivalry and get him to turn on you? That was what it had seemed like.

You'd survived, somehow. You had friends now—good friends, nice friends, un-petty friends. (But Hyunjae had been that person for you, too, once upon a time.)

You found yourself in your apartment at six in the evening the next day, staring at a half-drunk glass of wine and a crossword on your coffee table. You'd snatched up one of the newspapers in the lobby to busy yourself with in an attempt to take your mind off thrown cups of coke, bitchy ex girlfriends, and bitter ex friends.

It hadn't worked yet.

A knock on your front door drew your focus away, and you dragged yourself up from the couch to see who it was. Something panged in your chest at the face on the other side of the peephole.

You ripped the door open. "Do you want a restraining order?"

Hyunjae stood on the other side looking a little less put together than yesterday, but still more put together than you. "Yn, can we please just talk?"

"How do you even know where I live?" You asked him, not moving from the threshold, and thus, leaving him no room to come in.

"I literally helped you move in three years ago," he said, blinking. Oh. "Now, can I please come in?"

At least he was saying please, you reasoned with yourself. Begrudgingly, you let him in.

His shoulders seemed to deflate as he slipped inside, and he left his shoes on the show rack by the front door. Once you'd replaced all the locks, you swept past him to your kitchen area. "Want a drink?"

"Uhm, sure. Yeah, thanks."

You came back to the couch with another glass and poured him some of the red.

The two of you sat on the couch beside each other with a comfortable amount of space in the middle. He picked up his glass and chugged the entire thing, while you finished off your own glass and reached for the bottle. It felt so strange to be in his space again—or at least, for him to be in your space again. You didn't know if the jittery kick in your heart was from nervousness, excitement, or both.

What more did he have to say to you?

When you topped your glass off again, Hyunjae refilled his own.

"What do you want from me, Hyunjae?" You asked him for what felt like the hundredth time within the past week. You didn't have the heart to look at him now, the alcohol making your brain buzz and your chest heavy.

He nursed his glass, elbows braced on his knees. "I'm sorry," he said, clearing his throat when his voice came out rough. He fidgeted with the collar of his shirt. "You're probably so fucking tired of me, but I just… I knew I had to make things right."

You tugged your legs onto the couch and tucked them under you. "Why? Because you broke up with your girlfriend for throwing soda in my face?" For a moment, the thought amused you. Out of all the things to break up with Kyla for—out of all the things—it'd been over Coca-Cola.

Hyunjae swallowed down his wine. "No, that's not—that's not why I wanted to break up with her. I mean, part of it, of course. She'd disrespected you and your friend and the workplace."

His words and their sincerity drew your eyes to him on your left. His head hung, but you could see the glazed look in his eyes, dulling out those pretty, mahogany irises of his. He looked like your Hyunjae for once, not the one who had appeared in the doorway of the pizzeria with his arm around a girl who didn't appreciate him or anyone.

"And I'm sorry for that," he continued. "I'm sorry I didn't do more to prevent that from happening."

You stared down into the dark stillness of your wine glass. "Well, it wasn't exactly your fault," you said quietly.

You heard him huff, "Yeah, sure." He lifted the glass up to his lips again, and you did the same.

"The little altercation was recorded and posted online," Hyunjae suddenly said. "And when my parents saw, they pretty much backed out of the partnership between our company and Kyla's parents'. They didn't let me break up with her before because of the contract or whatever, but after that PR nightmare, they pretty much cut ties for me."

He took another swig, and you found yourself really looking at him this time.

"I was and have been an asshole to you, Yn," he said. "And it's no excuse, but it was… I was just trying to make it easier for both of us."

The wine was penetrating your defenses. Or maybe that was his story. But either way, the stinging in the corners of your eyes led to a watering of your vision, and everything was getting blurry. The lights, him, your whole view of the situation. His parents hadn't turned him, but shackled him instead.

"I thought," you began, lifting a hand up to wipe your eyes dry, "you hated me."

Hyunjae raised his head, shaking it, then hanging it again. He drank. "I couldn't hate you. I tried—I tried to make it easier to see you differently, but… Yn, you were my best friend." His voice broke at the end and he swallowed. "I thought about you so much these past few years, and it was so hard to get through it without you."

Your heart was sinking fast into your stomach and you could feel it hammer against your bones. You'd thought about him too much, as much as you loathed to admit. The man who you felt had simply thrown you away… how pathetic was it that you couldn't stop caring? But now, the lens was widening. Maybe your feelings weren't so unique.

Both you and Hyunjae moved at the same time, arms raising to drain your glasses of the last bits of wine.

You told yourself it was the wine that was making you want to cry, but when you and Hyunjae looked at each other, his eyes were lined with silver. He sniffled, setting his glass on the coffee table. "I'm sorry," he whispered, biting his lip when emotion made him screw his face up and turn away from you.

You put your glass next to his and clambered over the sofa to wrap your arms around him. He turned his face into your chest and sobbed, the sound coaxing a crest of emotion out of you, too, and you held him and rocked him through the oncoming waves.

It was the wine, you thought. God it was the wine. It had to be the wine.

But your best friend was here in your arms, where he belonged, you liked to think. He was home.

You curled your hand over the back of his head, your cheeks damp. "'m sorry they forced you into that relationship," you rasped. The bitterness was sweeping back in a different color. "I wish I knew."

He sniffled. "They threatened to do something to your parents' company. I couldn't—I couldn't let you and them get involved."

The confession stabbed through you. You had no idea what his parents had told him, and made him do, for the sake of business. You had no idea how unhappy he was, and god—you wished you'd known. Maybe things wouldn't have come to such hurt.

Hyunjae pulled himself away from you and wiped his eyes. "I think after all that shit, I'm a little fucked up."

The both of you shared a watery laugh, the space that had originally been left between you, nonexistent.

You cupped the sides of his face. "You made it though, and you've been so strong, Jae."

His bottom lip trembled. "Can you ever forgive me?"

"Yeah," you nodded. "Yeah, I forgive you." How could you not? And it was the wine—you swore it was the wine—that had you leaning forward and pressing a kiss to his hairline. His eyes fluttered shut as he leaned into you, his hand reaching up to cover your hand with his own.

"I like you a whole lot better than her," he murmured.

"I'd hope so," you mused, patting his cheek. "You deserve to have someone so much better than her."

He gulped, eyes searching your face. "You think so?"

"I know so."

Your heartbeat stuttered when he leaned forward slightly. You could smell the wine on his breath as it fanned over your skin. It felt as if the world slowed in that moment—the lights were dimmer, his eyelids low, lips shiny and plush.

And then he blinked, energy and alarm and… something else in his expression. He pulled out of your hold and his ears turned bright red. "I should go."

Your lips parted. "Wait—"

He practically leapt off the couch and banged his knee against the wall as he hobbled into his shoes. "Damn—I—" he opened the front door, pausing over the threshold. You didn't know why he was leaving; you wanted him to stay. Why, why, why was he leaving? "I, uhm, I've overstayed my welcome."

The door rattled as he closed it behind him, as if to tell you to not follow him out. You were left on the couch alone again, two empty glasses of wine, feeling stripped.

What the hell was that?

"And he just… left?"

You nodded, sweeping the apron around your waist over the hook in the back room of the pizzeria. It was late when yours and Dae's shift ended, as per usual. The shop was pretty much closed, leaving the two of you and two of the cooks who usually closed up the establishment when you both left.

For the entirety of your shift, you had been turning over yesterday's events over and over again. "I don't know what I did wrong, y'know? Maybe I crossed a boundary or something? I dunno."

Worry gnawed at your stomach as you recalled what happened to Dae. You both stepped out of the back of the building to head to your respective cars. It was dark out, as it usually was, with a few street lights along the road that you and Dae stuck to while walking.

As you approached your car, you noticed Hyunjae standing beside it with his hands tucked in his pockets and his head turned toward you. Rather than the sourness you'd felt for him at the beginning of the week, the feeling twisting in your chest was sweeter, but bitter still.

"I'll see you tomorrow then," Dae said to you softly with a gentle nudge of your arm. She walked ahead of you and passed by your car to get to hers, leaving you to confront the man plaguing your every thought for the past week.

You swallowed as you made your way over to the driver's side door where he was standing. "Hey."

Hyunjae gave a slight bob of his head. "Hey."

"Did I do something wrong yesterday?" You asked him, earnestly, searching his face for any hint as to why he had left so abruptly.

"No, it wasn't your fault—it definitely wasn't your fault," he told you. He sucked in a breath, carding a hand through his hair. "I had an epiphany of sorts."

"An epiphany?" You furrowed your brows.

His cheeks had flushed slightly, and he couldn't exactly meet your eyes. "I thought it was just the alcohol clouding my judgment, and in combination with all the emotions, and I just—" he shook his head. "It's probably not important, but…"

You bumped your elbow with his. "Jae, you're here. It probably is important."

A small smile curled up onto his face. "Y'know," he began, finally lifting his head to look you in the eyes, "she would have agreed with me and brushed me off."

You knew who the "she" he was talking about was. You frowned. "She was never good enough for you, Hyunjae."

"I know." He sighed. "I just wanna be enough for you though now."

Surprise lit across your face, and you could feel the butterflies in your stomach start to take flight. You couldn't think coherently with his words, and you were probably reading into it too much. The two of you had been away so long that you probably forgot how to read him; there was no doubt that something changed over the past three years, right?

When you failed to find a reply, he shifted slightly, his body facing straight toward you. "I've had a lot of time to think, and the whole time I was with her, I just kept comparing her to you." He stepped closer to you and his hand reached out to tentatively take your fingers with his. "She never measured up; maybe that made me even more bitter for ruining our friendship."

You met his eyes. There was that glimmer of the rich brown like what you'd seen last night. (Your Hyunjae was present and accounted for.) "What… what are you saying?"

"I'm saying that I," he said, fully taking your hands with his, "would like to start over on a slightly different note. But if you don't feel the same, we can start wherever you're comfortable with."

It would be different, you realized. But it would be a good different, right?

You found your voice, curled your fingers around his in the space between you. "Okay."

His smile slowly widened, his eyes squinting into upturned crescent moons. "Okay?"

You nodded, returning the expression. "Let's start over on that different note."

The pizzeria was as alive as usual. It was warm, smelled like tomatoes and cheese and bread, and it was still your home away from home. You had just finished your break and were tying your apron back on when Dae bumped her hip against yours as she passed by with a tray of dirty dishes.

"Your banshees just got in," she said, before disappearing through the kitchen doors.

Your gaze went to the door where you found your five friends, and the additional three, who were filing in altogether. You made eye contact with one person in particular, his smile softening into something fond at the corners of his mouth. He lifted a hand in greeting, grabbing everyone else's attention as they said their hellos to you.

The eight of them made their way over to the round table in the back corner, piling into the chairs around it.

"Waitress! Waitress!" The hyena-like sound set off an alarm in your head and you came over to the table to give Changmin a stink eye. He grinned innocently. "Oh yay, it worked."

You gave him an unimpressed look. "You sound like a chihuahua."

"Joke's on you, I think chihuahuas are cute," he huffed, leaning back in his chair with his arms crossed over his chest.

You braced your hand on the back of Hyunjae's chair, the other one gently patting the top of his head. He acknowledged your greeting, his hand reaching up to cover yours on the chair back. "What's to drink, y'all?"

A chorus of beverages rang out, and you mentally counted the few repeats and the singles. You promised to be right back, and left to go grab them. As you went, you could hear your boys start up a lively debate about the multipurpose properties of the lemon. You wondered if that was what they had been bickering about on the car ride over here, and you heard Eric say something about lemons for cleaning; Juyeon just said lemonade; and Changmin said for inflicting "more pain." (No, you didn't want to know.)

When you returned to their table to pass out your drinks, you went around, leaving Hyunjae for last. You set his cup of coke in front of him and he passed you a smile.

"You're not gonna dump that on me, are you?" You asked, eyes narrowing playfully.

He grinned. "As long as you don't dump me, we're good."

Sunwoo made a face from across the table. "Yuck, get a room!"

Chanhee smacked him upside the head. "At least they have someone to be yucky with."

"This feels familiar somehow," Kevin pondered aloud. "Like déjà vu."

Jacob shrugged. "Maybe in another universe. I dunno, it seems like something we would have said to Sunwoo at some point."

"Hey!—"

You were halfway through a laugh when Hyunjae caught your attention, twisted around in his chair to smile up at you. "What's up?" You asked him.

His eyes, you could never get sick of his eyes. They glistened in the lighting here. "Nothing," he said swiftly, "I'm just… happy to be here." With you.

You understood, and you caught his hand on the back of the chair and gave him a little squeeze. "I'm happy you're here, too." It seemed that some things were just meant to come full circle.

tbz m.list

permanent taglist: @flwoie @vatterie @seomisaho @hqrana @ja4hyvn @tinkerbell460 @kaaimins @hyunjaespresent-deobi @otterly-fey @zzoguri @floatingpluto @winterchimez @ethereal-engene @gyulfriend @polarisjisung @jaehunnyy @shakalakaboomboo @loveliestfelix @bless-311 @zhaixiaowen @leaz-kpop-life @amourdsr @pxppxrminty @kqyutie @sseastar-main @kxthleen14 @fluorescentloves @mosviqu @justalildumpling @jaerisdiction @super-btstrash-posts @jundundun @http-gyu @mvvnsseul @outrologist @vernonburger @maessseongs @kflixnet @ericlvr

[abinoell]

i love you’s

WARNINGS- nothing much, i lot of fluff, bakugou yelling, panic attacks, CHEESY, you sleep over at his dorm,

y/n finds bakugou having a panic attack in his dorm, and she comforts him!! <3

fem! reader x sad! bakugou

bakugou has a panic attack

hey guys! this is my first time writing something lik this (be nice lol) hope you enjoy.

you turn off your lamp light after three hours of studying. your day COULD NOT be more exhausting. it was all worth it though because you were going to see your boyfriend katsuki.

He always knew how to brighten up ur day. one time, after a long, tiring, and rough day, you went over to his dorm and he noticed how tense you were. if you didn’t know any better, you’d say he was dickhead bc instead of immediately comforting you, he scoffed and left the room. turns out, he went to order your favorite take out foods and run you a hot bath. he didn’t know how to comfort you with words, but he made up for it through his actions.

You planned to stay over at his dorm tonight, so you packed up a few things you would need. it was pretty late, so you made your way over there silently and unlocked his door (bc you have a copy of his dorm key ofc) and let yourself in.

“Hey Katsss” you drag at his name in a playful manner and tiptoed your way inside. the lights were off, so you assumed he was taking a shower. after placing your bag on the floor and flicking the lights on, you head over to the bathroom, knocking on the door from the outside and calling his name. no one responded, the shower wasn’t running, but you could hear heavy breathing and sniffling. he was crying, and he sounded angry.

It was really hard for him to be vulnerable with people. it took him quite a while to adjust to your welcoming and understanding nature. you didn’t want to force him into being comfortable and open with you, so you made sure to slowly make your way in his comfort zone. never tried anything out of his comfort zone, which eventually led to him opening up to you entirely.

“ Kats, i’m gonna come in. ok?” you say as you slowly push the door open. your eyes search the room for your boyfriend, and you see him curled up in a ball on the floor, head in between his knees, hands balled up in fist. This wasn’t anything new. he had panic attacks frequently and before he met you, he got used to dealing with everything on his own. so when you came in, it triggered his fight response on instinct and screamed at you to get out.

“GET THE HELL OUT OF MY BATHROOM RIGHT NOW I SWEAR IF YOU DONT-“

you stand at the doorway, arms crossed, waiting for him to finish the sentence. but instead, his voice breaks into sobs and he could no longer carry out his threats. you took a deep breath bc you knew this wasn’t going to be easy, but you were determined to be there for katsuki as much as he’s been there for you. you slowly approached him and sat right in front of him on the floor.

“Kats? can you hold my hand? please?”

his pale fists were shaking, sweat running down from his forehead. he wasn’t looking at you. “Katsuki, look at me.” you say, gently but firm. he shakes his head and his sobs become more broken and desperate. you place your hands on his, sliding them up his arms and onto his chin.

“my love. look at me.” you guide his eyes to meet yours. his crimson eyes are panicked and wide, searching your face for judgement or disgust because he never wanted you to see this side of him.

instead, he’s met with your loving and gentle eyes, not a hint of judgement. “kats, i’m here. your not alone, you won’t be alone. i love you and im here to stay. you can rely on me, i wont go anywhere, i promise.” he leans into your touch, finding solace and peace in your warm hands.

“what if i fall behind. what if they don’t think im good enough to be number 1 hero.”

he gasps in between each sentence, like it physically hurts to breath. you wrap your arms around his neck, combing your hands through his blond hair.

“then i’ll be here, my love. i’ll remind you how important you are to me, to your friends, to deku, to your parents… you put your all into training every day. you don’t hold back on anyone. you’re doing your best.”

you kiss his forehead

“you’re doing your best”

you kiss his right cheek

“im not leaving.”

you kiss his chin

“my love for you isn’t based on your future hero rankings.”

you kiss his left cheek

“we should order food and watch a movie”

he rolls his eyes at your attempt to be funny. “js’ shut, will ya.” he mumbles out

he buries his head in the crook of his neck, and you hold him like that for a few minutes, rubbing circles on his back, until his sobs turn into hiccups, hiccups into sniffles, and you wipe away his tears after.

you guys both get up from the floor and head over to his bed, turning the tv on to his favorite show and building pillow forts.

he falls asleep on your chest, mumbling something about how much he loves you. you’ll tease him about it tomorrow .

————————————————————————

lowk got lazy at the end idk if you can tell.. anyways im open for requests, let me know what you guys wannna read next!

[danikamariewrites]

After Flight

Manon Blackbeak x f!Reader

A/n: not sure how I feel about this one but I love Manon so here’s this lol. This is post KoA and the thirteen are here bc I’m in denial 😁

Warnings: none besides some nudity

The sound of beating wings draws your attention away from the book you’ve been engrossed in for the afternoon. It’s been so long that the sun has started setting.

From your spot on the plush armchair facing the floor-to-ceiling windows in the library of the Witch Castle, you spot your fiancé, Manon, flying at the front of the Thirteen. Her long white braid catches in the orange-pink glow of the setting sun as Abraxos dives towards the aerie.

Smiling to yourself, you twist the onyx and diamond ring on your finger. It’s been a little over a year since Maeve and Erawan were defeated. When Manon lead the witches back to their home in the Wastes, you were so happy to watch her thrive as the queen she was always meant to be. Life was good and slowly getting back to some semblance of normal. After months of getting the new kingdom in order Manon proposed and the two of you have never been happier.

You put down the book on the footrest in front of you, stand, and head for the large double oak doors to head to your chambers. Manon should be back in your rooms soon if the Thirteen are landing now.

Opening the door you’re surprised to see Manon already in the sitting area pacing in front of Asterin and Sorrel. You can tell by her tense shoulders today’s flying exercise was not a pleasant one.

Her second and third in command spot you before Manon does, still busy tearing into the poor witches. Asterin clears her throat, “What,” Manon growls. Sorrel nods her head in your direction and Manon whips her head towards you, face softening instantly, “Y/n. I thought you had gone down to the dining room, my love.”

Even though Manon has come a long way from her heart-of-ice personality it’s rare she lets her soft spot for you show it in front of others.

“I wanted to see you before dinner. I’m sorry did I interrupt something?” You start to shy away from the witches. “No,” Manon answers quickly. Asterin and Sorrel take that as their dismissal. As the two witches pass you they give you a quick nod and Asterin shoots you a wink, closing the door behind her.

Manon lets out a sigh and rolls her shoulders, like a weight has just tumbled off of them. You walk over to her, pulling her into an embrace wrapping your arms around her waist, and laying the side of your face on her chest. You can hear her heartbeat slowing down as she wraps her arms around your shoulders.

“I missed you today, sweet girl.” Manon leans down and kisses the top of your head. “I missed you too, my love.” Loosening your grip around her waist you lean back to stare up into her striking, burnt gold eyes. Usually they are full of love but, right now they’re hiding anger and stress. You never want to see them or her like that. It breaks your heart because you know she’ll never let you take care of her like she takes care of me.

“What’s wrong Manon?” You ask my voice full of concern for the Witch Queen. “Nothing y/n.” You look at her with disbelief.

“You know better than to brush something off. Tell me Manon it’s ok.” She sighs again rolling out her neck causing her moon-white braid to fall off her shoulder. “Today’s flying exercise didn’t go how I wanted it to. It wasn’t us, the Thirteen felt…off and it got to me.” Manon leaned her head down resting her forehead against mine and closed her eyes. You start rubbing slow circles on her lower back, “Oh Manon, I’m sorry baby. You’ve been working nonstop for months. Please let me take care of you tonight.”

You don’t wait for her answer as you grab her hand and lead her into the bathing room. After turning the tub faucet on you throw in some floral-scented bubble bath as the massive porcelain, clawfoot tub fills. You turn around seeing Manon leaning against the counter. She looks apprehensive like she’s debating on letting you take care of her or not. “You don’t have to do this y/n.”

Silently you step toward her reaching for her hands. “It’s not a bad thing to be taken care of once in a while. Being taken care of doesn’t make you weak, if anything it helps you become stronger. You can’t keep going until something snaps. You need breaks in between the strong moments so you can keep going.”

Silver starts to line her eyes but she blinks it back. Manon smiles at you and nods her head. You smile back, “Let’s get you out of those leathers, yeah?” Manon steps away from the counter and turns so you can undo the ties of her leathers.

Manon pads over to the tub and sinks into the water up to her shoulders. The Witch Queen leans back, closing her eyes. A little moan leaves her throat as she settles in. Your cheeks heat up from the noise she makes. You go to pick up her leathers when a wet hand grasps yours. “Aren’t you going to get in with me, my love?” Quickly contemplating, you nod and strip. Leaving your dress on the floor with her leathers.

You motion for Manon to move forward as you get in. You wrap your arms around her shoulders and pull her flush to your chest.

Leaving a few pecks on her neck and cheeks you reach for the soap to start washing her. You move on to her hair, massaging the lather on Manon’s scalp. Once she’s all rinsed, you take her hand guiding her out of the tub.

After wrapping a towel around yourself and holding one out for Manon. She reaches out for it, “Nope,” I say, “I’m not done taking care of you.” She breathes out of her nose but lets me dry her off, wrapping the towel around her.

“How are you feeling?” You ask as Manon slumps down on the pillows on your bed, angling her body towards mine. “Better. Thank you y/n.” You run my fingers through her damp hair and kiss her forehead.

[storiesofsvu]

i see our brains and ovaries are on similar wavelengths 🧠

hadn’t even considered them making Joe watch Terry and the reader. Poor Joe, out here suffering. Bet they even made Joe suck Terry’s dick+lick the reader to get them ready for each other.

in my lil brain, the first time Terry and Joe do anything together, Terry puts a Hard Stop at fingers. Because listen, it is not his first time with a man who has had a sexuality crisis, he has Been Around The Block, and in real life people don’t generally go from thinking they’re straight to letting another guy fuck them overnight (the PORN has to make SENSE, oKAY?!?). so Terry is like, super mean and just sucks his dick at first and teaches the reader how to finger Joe, both bc Terry finds it hot to teach her and bc it introduces Joe to butt stuff. And Joe is all nervous and he’s like oh no what if I don’t like it but then he DOES and he tells Terry to fuck him before he just *dies* but Terry is like no, sorry bby, not tonight, you have to be patient for us. And Terry wakes up to Joe directly in his face like a kid on Christmas being all ok it is tomorrow now and you made me a PROMISE, SIR. But Terry is a mean bastard and makes him wait again, but keeps him busy by ordering him around, and the reader realizes she has a switchy side bc she also likes ordering him around.

ANYWAYS. Fun story, rewatched s25ep10 recently and realized there was a shot in the beginning of Terry in bed with some lady. Can’t believe we all MISSED that?! Kevin Kane’s tattoos *chef’s kiss*

bahhah they ARE!!

oh they so would, include him like the good little student he is, remind him just how good he makes them feel. he no doubt makes reader come at least twice, he'd happily suffocate between her legs and she nearly has to drag him away by the hair when she's feeling too sensitive to go again. Joe's all pouty and lets out a whine until Terry walks over to him, stroking his cock and joe starts to feel his mouth water again.

yeeessssss. Terry definitely knows and isn't gonna just dive right in, him and reader and gonna show off, let joe see how much the two of them enjoy butt stuff, maybe she has a solo night with joe where the two of them play around with some plugs and he fucks her ass, it's a tease for him, getting to fuck her how he's dying to be fucked. even after he comes he's instantly hard again, a whiny mess begging for her to do more to him (and lbh, she's got terry on the phone by that point.... "ter, just listen to the boy, he's practically crying. i think you better get your pretty ass over here".)

NOT THE CHRISTMAS MORNING LINE! LOOOOLLLLLLL.

right?!!?!? im confused whether it was just supposed to be a little peek into his personal life, is he seeing someone? was it the ex wife? was it a one night stand? we NEED TO KNOW. lol. obsessed with the tattoos, i need more detail!

okay, ive gotta start ACTUALLy working on this fic cause i feel like it's gonna have multiple parts and i need it in my system *now*

[violetsareblue-selfships]

Winding Down

F/O: Sylus | Word Count: 1550 | Warning/Tags: mild suggestiveness (like flirtation style), honestly pretty tame (in line with how far the game goes lol)

A/N: time for me to go through the backlog of fics i have to post :3 anyways we're starting with sylus bc of course we are - i hope you enjoy this!!

The car's engine cuts off, leaving them all in complete silence for a breath. Luke and Kieran quickly make their escape from the vehicle, not needing to stick around to know that's what Sylus expects of them. Their job is over for the evening.

Sylus glances over at April before he, too, gets out of the car, walking around to the passenger side to open the door for her. She takes his hand and accepts his help standing up, practically wrapping herself around his arm as they head inside.

They walk the familiar path back to Sylus' room, the click of the door behind them signaling the start of their evening together, now focused on pleasure and each other rather than business. Sylus brushes a kiss to the top of her head as he steps past her, her eyes trailing after him for a moment as he heads to the bathroom.

She smiles, not needing to ask what he's doing. Not when this is their routine every time they return from some important event. She doesn't follow him, not yet, instead she heads to the vanity, her hands already reaching up to remove the delicate, dangling earrings from her ears. Her necklace, bracelet, and rings follow, returning to their rightful place in her collection.

April lets her hair down next, letting out a sigh of relief as the slight tension of the updo dissipates. She's brushing through it when she spots his return through the mirror, and she waits patiently until he's settling his hands on her waist, leaning down far enough that he can brush a gentle kiss against her neck.

"Come, let's get those heels off of you, darling," Sylus murmurs against her ear, a smirk gracing his features as he feels her shiver at the brush of his breath there. He waits until she's set the brush back down before effortlessly scooping her up into his arms, carrying her over to the bed and sitting her at the edge.

Their eyes meet, and Sylus slowly sinks to his knees in front of her. It's a move that would shock anyone else - the leader of Onychinus kneeling to someone else. But when it's his other half… he doesn't hesitate. It doesn't feel humiliating like kneeling to another would, instead it feels more like worship.

His eyes drink in the way her face flushes, visible even with the makeup she's wearing. He keeps his eyes on hers as his fingers grasp her ankle, his other hand pulling off her shoe to set on the floor. His thumb smooths along the top of her foot before moving under to rub the arch, aiming to relieve some of the tension. It's his fault she had to wear heels this evening. He might as well relieve the aches that resulted from it.

The process is repeated with her other foot until she's giggling and lightly kicking at him. "The water's gonna get cold…" She complains and he chuckles, rising to his feet again.

He doesn't say anything as he picks her up once more, carrying her into the bathroom, the calming scent of lavender greeting them. "Take as long as you need," Sylus murmurs as he sets her on her feet next to the tub. "I need to do a few things."

Her eyes find his. "You're not joining me?" He chuckles at the hint of surprise in her voice.

"Not this time. Sorry." He gently runs his fingers through her hair. "But if a certain someone wants to eat after her bath, I need to go put in an order to the chef. And yes," He adds when he sees her about to ask something. "I'll have him make your favorite."

"…I guess I shouldn't stop you then," She grumbles, making him laugh again. Still, she turns and gives him a tight hug, which he returns without question.

"Mm, you shouldn't," He agrees. "Not if a little kitten wants energy for the rest of what I have in store for her tonight." His tone slips into that sultry tone she's all-too-familiar with, and once again, she shivers.

"Just go, Sylus," April murmurs, knowing if he sticks around talking like that, she's not going to want to wait until later.

Sylus chuckles but obliges, shutting the bathroom door behind him and leaving her alone. Her eyes scan the counter, smiling softly as everything's set out for her already - her blue towel and washcloth on the edge of the counter, her makeup remover also sitting out for her.

Without hesitating further, she starts to undress so she can enjoy her little spa time to the fullest before dinner.

-------------

Fully relaxed and refreshed, April leaves the bathroom, the towel wrapped snugly around her. To her disappointment, Sylus hasn't returned to the bedroom, but she notes that her heels have been put away along with his dress shoes.

"Hmm…" An idea pops into her mind, and she grins at the idea of getting to surprise him. Considering he didn't even get a chance to enjoy the lingerie she put on under her dress earlier, she'll give him a second chance.

She pulls a different pair of lingerie out of her drawer in his dresser, a red number that always makes him go speechless when he sees her in it. To go on top of that, she finds the red button-up he had just been wearing, still smelling distinctly like a mix of him and his cologne.

It's as she's admiring the look in the mirror, admiring how far down her thighs the shirt falls and the peek of lace of her bra through the shirt (not fully buttoned up) that Sylus returns to the bedroom. A giddy feeling fills her chest as she hears the subtle catching of his breath, and sure enough, when she looks over at him, his eyes are trailing her whole body.

"Aren't you a sight?" Sylus murmurs, though she can hear the faint trembling of his voice.

April giggles softly. "Is dinner ready?" She asks, though the fact that he's returned means it must be, or at least close enough.

He nods, his eyes sweeping her body again before he takes a deep breath. "You're testing my patience tonight, kitten. If I were less patient…" He shakes his head a little, his eyes practically blazing as they look at her. "Let's just say we wouldn't be making it downstairs."

His lips curl up as her eyes widen and she shivers. That stunned look is always so precious on her. Sylus approaches her slowly and takes one of her hands, threading their fingers together and bringing her hand to his mouth so he can lightly nip her knuckles.

"But luckily for you, I'm feeling patient tonight and you get to have that pasta that's waiting for you," He murmurs against the back of her hand, his chest warming as he notes the way her eyes sparkle at the mention of her favorite food. "But afterward…" He trails off, his eyes darkening a little as he lets her mind fill in the blank.

"Afterward…" April echoes, sounding a little dazed. "I'll be all yours."

Sylus hums as she correctly finishes his sentence, idly rubbing his thumb against her knuckles. "That's right, now come on," He murmurs, standing back to his full height and using his grip on her hand to tug her gently toward the door.

She follows him downstairs, still a little bit in a daze. Yet he never walks too fast for her, something that seems to come naturally to him. With how tall he is, he could easily outpace her, making his strides impossible to catch up to, but whenever he's leading her somewhere (or even walking beside her), he keeps a pace that never makes her feel like she has to hurry after him.

Soft music greets their ears as they reach the last few stairs, and April smiles as she recognizes it as one of her favorite records that Sylus owns. Her hand twitches in his as the momentary desire to stop him to dance to the music hits her. His hand squeezes hers back, and his eyes are soft when he turns to look at her.

"After dinner," He says. "Then I'll indulge you in as many dances as you want before we head back upstairs."

It never ceases to astound April the way he seems to read her mind. He's not even using his Aether Core to figure out what she's desiring right now. It's just a matter of knowing her and all her little tells. Her heart's fluttering as she gives him a nod and lets him lead her through the main room to the dining area, where their dinner has already been set out.

Sylus pulls her chair out for her and pours their drinks - soda for her and wine for him. "Dig in, sweetie." His smirk seems to remind her that he told her she'd need her energy for tonight and after his words earlier… she believes him.

With that, she digs into her cheesy pasta eagerly, looking forward to spending the rest of the evening with him. It's looking to be very fulfilling.

Though with him, she's never left unsatisfied. That's the very last thing he'd want.

[ikea-dollies]

Birthday Gift.

words: 1.2k~ cw: smut, soft fluff (bc Dante loves her very much) I guess, legal age gap (25&33) a/n: You know me. This is not Proofread.

May 5th, 2024

Dante sat outside his shop, watching the delivery driver carrying inside spools upon spools of new fabric he had ordered, a cigarette between his fingers and eyes locked on the sun lowering in the horizon.

Marissa was out with her friends tonight, partying and having fun, completely unaware of what he was up to, of what he was planning.

Dante prided himself in being able to keep certain aspects of his life under wraps. It came with being involved in the things he is, the life he leads, the kinks he engages in.

It could also stem from having suppressed certain sides of him growing up to avoid criticism and abuse. Maybe.

Either way, he was actually a good liar, or, at the very least, good at hiding the truth even if he didn't particularly enjoy it.

Like currently, when he had told Marissa he was knee-deep in projects for some event and, therefore, had to work overtime and wouldn't be available as often as she wished for him to be.

He told her, also, he didn't want her to feel neglected or abandoned, but that he knew he was going to be in no mood for visits or play sessions and would likely not even answer texts for a while.

Dante had spotted the way she tried arguing, pouting, getting a bratty attitude, only for him to shut it down and tell her directly, eye-to-eye "This is not an invitation for you to be a brat and defy me. I'm telling you how it is. I'm gonna be stressed and overworked and don't want to risk you catching me in a bad mood and me hurting you."

Was it harsh? Yes. Did it make him feel like shit? Also yes. But, this time, a lie was necessary. It'd be worth it. Just to see the smile on her face.

That's the only thought in his mind as the driver comes back out of the shop and extends the electronic signature device to him, letting Dante sign for the delivery.

-

May 15th, 2024

"Have the fit you wanna have, princess, but get dressed and get in the fucking car." Dante scolds her as he glares at her from the other side of the threshold of her apartment.

Sure, he knew Marissa would be a brat, but what did she expect? He did warn her he'd be stressed and busy, so why was she now denying going out with him on her birthday?

"No." Marissa retorts and crosses her arms, a pout on her lips. "You don't get to ignore my texts for three days and now suddenly message me to get dressed and that you're taking me out on my birthday without even having texted me 'Happy Birthday' or 'Good morning'."

Dante takes a deep breath to steel himself and sighs. "Marissa, for all that is Holy-" He begins, squeezing his gloved hands into fists. "Either you get dressed and come down to the fucking car so I can show you your stupid fucking birthday gifts, or I will toss you over my shoulder and take you as you are right now." He warns and gestures at her lounging outfit.

"I'd like to see you try." Marissa replies with a bite to her voice, already on her to slamming the door shut in his face. Dante stops her by slamming his foot between the door and the doorjamb.

"Now you listen here, you brat-" He warns as he pushes the door open and wraps his arms around the shorter girl, sliding his fingers amidst her pretty brown hair, his fingertips gripping her head and holding it in place.

Marissa tries fighting him, squirming, only for him to pin her against the wall and quench her needy thirst by pressing his thigh between her own, his arm around her back pulling her down and rocking her back and forth against the black material of his slacks.

She mews so prettily, even when she's angry at him... especially when she's angry at him.

"Is this what you need? To have me fuck the attitude out of you, hm? On your own birthday?" He taunts as he looks her in the eye, his nose brushing against her cheek and his lips already kissing up her jaw and wetting her skin.

"Shut up-" Marissa retorts, still holding onto her bratty fit, but slowly losing her bravado as he rocks her back and forth against his thigh, her toes barely catching a perch on the floor of her apartment, sometimes grazing his polished dress shoes.

"I would've thought a little brat like you would want me to treat her all nice, take her out to an expensive dinner, and present her with a fortune worth of gifts..." He teases and chuckles.

"But no... All you want is me, isn't it, sweet thing? All you need is your Sir, isn't it?" He adds as he carefully probes his tongue into her mouth, feeling her suck on it, while his hands grab her around the hip and pull her close.

Marissa whines into his mouth, sucking and licking his tongue, feeling the taste of him, one she hasn't had the ability to get in 10 days, and has missed dearly.

Pulling back from the kiss, he resumes talking to her, nearly goading her. "You could behave, you know? You could... let me take you out like I planned... You know how much it cost me to reserve a table for us at that one restaurant you always talk about wanting to go?" He complains as he kisses her jaw and keeps rocking her cunt against his thigh.

"God damn you, sweet thing," Dante grunts as he undoes his belt with one hand, tugging down his dress pants, and fishing out his already hardening cock. "I love how much of a brat you are, but you also annoy the crap out of me," He says, his tone fully affectionate as he takes her hand and wraps it around his length.

"Is this what you wanted? This cock?" He taunts before pulling her underwear aside and rubbing his fingers down her slit, and back up, his fingertips rubbing against her clit. "These fingers? Me taking care of your pretty cunny, huh? Because she can't resist me, can she?"

Marissa nods and bucks her hips against his hand, causing a rumble of a laugh to rise in his chest. Her sounds of pleasure are soft and needy as her hands grab onto the material of his blazer, one he tailor-made for himself.

"God, you know how long I spent on your gift? And all you wanted was my cock buried inside you?" He asks her as he leans his forehead against hers, his fingertips still fanning over her clit, rubbing and carefully twisting it between two fingers.

"What is it...?" His brat ends up asking through frustrated and needy sounds of pleasure, causing Dante to chuckle again.

"I sewed you a whole closet worth of pieces..." He murmurs and closes his eyes as she fists his cock a bit faster, hissing through clenched teeth. "Dresses, skirts, tops, pretty little panties that I plan on ripping off you..." He murmurs in her ear before biting her earlobe.

"Anything you could ever want, I sewed it for you, and any other time you find something you like, I'll sew it too..." He tells her as he licks a stripe up her neck before kissing her again.

for @goose-dollies :) sorry I got lazy at the end, idk

[silver-lily-louise]

Shadowhunters Rewatch, 1.09 - Rise Up

- The recap visual effects, man. The zoom. Where's that one video that always circulates tumblr of that woman walking into the room for like thirty seconds as different effects play 🤭

- Simon I know you're going through it but you could also see Raphael's reflection 😅 clearly that is not the metric

- Raphael 🥺 he's so good. He also has a great point about Camille. Clary you may not care about politics right NOW but when Simon is okay again you are going to be glad Camille is punished!!

- Magnus is so smitten already omg. :'( makes one think Alec really must have opened up (at least, by his standards 🤭) during their cocktail evening.

- Meliorn is like, heartbroken, dude... mind you. It's Izzy. Who WOULDN'T be

- Lydia ffs. 'Just following orders' is NOT a sound moral stance!!

- Alec is like 'if I have to tell one more person I'm fine I'm going to blow a fucking gasket'

- I like Clary's doublespeak there. 'I need you to help me through this' becoming 'I am here to help you through this'. It's also funny to me that they're like 'omg we need help... Luke, can you use your werewolf powers to track Simon??' And in the end the location was Simon's House 😂 I bet that's the first fucking suggestion Luke made and didn't even have to use any enhanced senses lmao

- 'Call off the search', 'What is going on with you' - Jace are you under the impression that the Power Of Righteousness will stop the Clave wanting the Cup. 'We need it tho... for a good cause... we won't let Valentine keep it we prommy ♡' 'Oh okay 😊 let's go back to Idris, team!'

- I mean. Simon's right. It IS a hotel

- It's interesting that Alec falls back on Maryse's current core methodology in times of stress. 'My life is falling apart but I Can Follow Orders'. Even if the orders are terrible. It also does not help that every time he has reluctantly disobeyed for a moral cause this series, it has come back to bite him (and, to an extent, his loved ones). Up to and including when 'sure, I'll let Clary turn the Cup in' is followed up by his parabatai immediately scheming to make sure neither Clary nor the Cup get turned in...

- Also fuck the Clave, man, you did NOT interview for NEARLY long enough to justify Soul Sword ALREADY. And you don't have nearly enough probable cause!! What, you found out the forsaken had seelie blood and just arrested the closest seelie to the Institute??

- Magnus is right. Keeping the Cup safe temporarily is a far cry from 'the Clave is actively looking for it and we are going to make sure they can't have it'. It's definitely the point of no return.

- Alec NO. Ruling with head and not heart is all well and good, but also!! Get a solid suspect before you interrogate!!! Meliorn is tangential at BEST. (There's also the fact that torture is morally repugnant, and that it doesn't even work, AND that this particular torture is dangerous enough that Meliorn might die... but one step at a time right)

- Lydia really can't see the irony, can she? 'I need to put my feelings aside for practicality this time' *proceeds to make the most grief-informed decision possible*

- 'Tonight we're all downworlders' :s Clary. Clary no. Because the thing is, some of you are gonna be punished more severely than others for disobeying. You can't erase that by committing the same crime.

- Hate seeing Alec on the opposite side of this 'ends justify means' issue and fight to his family. :c He will learn...

- 'I'm still me. Sort of.' Simon Lewis wins award for Adjustment Skills, tbh. ♡

As an Alec fan this episode is hard bc he is at his moral lowest :( pls be willing to go against orders or (even just protest them a bit) for what is right!! It's within you!! And you NEED to stop trusting the Clave so much, babygirl. But as an overall Shadowhunters enjoyer, this episode was great. Lots of good character development and interaction. ♡