#i had to flip a coin about it because i couldnt pick

[strangersteddierthings]

Porcelain Steve - Part 8

Part One🦇Part Two🦇Part Three🦇Part Four🦇Part Five🦇Part Six🦇Part Seven🦇Part Eight🦇Part Nine

Eddie hears the commotion in the living room, and it takes everything left in him to move away from the door. He just crawls himself forward and onto a pile of nearby clothes because he knows he'll be out of the way there when they open his door.

He knows he should open the door and go out there. Wayne's still out there, confused and concerned, and he needs to call Jeff. He can't just not show up. Yet he remains on the ground, cross-legged this time, face hidden in his hands.

Steve is broken. Because Eddie broke him.

He's been so afraid that something would happen to Steve if he wasn't around but given the track record of Eddie's life, he feels like such an idiot for not realizing the biggest threat to Steve and his safety is Eddie himself.

The commotion beyond his door gets louder, bursting open, and then Robin and Dustin are falling through it, stumbling over each other in their haste to get into Eddie's room. Wordlessly, Eddie points to where he abandoned Steve on the floor, knows that they're here for him.

He's a bit startled when the two finally untangle themselves and Dustin goes to Steve but Robin drops herself onto his dirty laundry, all but draping herself over him in a hug. His body moves on its own, wrapping around Robin and all but pulling her into his lap in a bear hug. He's not crying, too numb for that now, but he does shove his face into the side of her neck and let out a dry, sobbing noise as she coos softly.

"Shhhh. We're here. We've got Steve and we've got you," Robin's voice is wet. She's crying, too, silently but tears are definitely falling because one lands directly in his ear.

He feels detached from himself after that. He's aware of things going on around him but doesn't feel sentient. Robin pulls back from him slowly, she says something as she stands up but Eddie's too busy watching Dustin ever so gently pick up Steve's pinky finger and then Steve. He thinks the smile Dustin gives him is supposed to be reassuring but it's mostly just sad.

Eddie's head followed Dustin as he heads out the door and down the hall, at which point he starts to track Robin as she's coming back down the hall, dragging Wayne behind her.

"Can you stand up, Eddie?" she asks, and Eddie feels like he's watching himself shake his head no more than he feels like he's actually doing it.

"That's alright," Wayne says, as he pats one of Robin's shoulders before moving around her. "I'm not so old as to not be able to get down there. I still don't understand what's goin' on, Eddie, but I'm here."

Wayne joins him on the floor, sitting beside him so he can fling an arm around Eddie's shoulders and tuck him into his side. Robin flops down on his other side, once again draping herself across Eddie like a weighted blanket. It's all very grounding, and a little bit jarring, and that's probably what makes Eddie come back to himself sooner than he would have if he were alone in his room.

"You should be with Steve," is what Eddie decides on saying when words return, turning his head to look at Robin.

"Nah."

"He'd want you-"

"No, he wouldn't. I'm Steve's soulmate and I know him better than anyone else in the world. Which mean you don't get to tell me what Steve would want, because I know what Steve would want. And that's me, here, making sure you're okay first."

"What's happened with Steve?" Wayne asks, and Eddie stiffens. Robin starts rubbing soothing circles on his back.

"It's a long story, Mr. Munson. But I promise we'll fill you in once the crisis has passed."

"Is this related to whatever happened last year durin' the supposed earthquake that y'all can't talk about?"

"Well, I couldn't say either way, since we can't talk about it."

"Right. Get one o' the kids to tell me, then. Whatever they signed ain't legal anyhow."

Robin shoots Eddie a look, like she's trying to figure out if Eddie broke his NDA and told his uncle everything. He gives a quick shake of his head, and then Robin looks to Wayne. "I'm certain Dustin would be thrilled to fill you in, then. Now, Eddie, can you tell me what happened?"

He looks down the hall. He can see people crowded into the trailer's tiny living room but none of them look like any member of the Byers-Hopper household. "Uhh, yeah, but where's El?"

"They're in Indy, some family day thing. But don't worry, we went out to the Cerebro and were able to get El on the Walkie, so they're on the way back."

"You went- how long have I been just... sitting in here," Eddie is mostly talking to himself because it hasn't felt like enough time has passed for them to have made it to pick everyone up, get to Weathertop, communicate with El, and come here.

"Well, Nancy called me-" she cuts off, grabbing Eddie's arm and twisting it around so she can read the time on his watch, "-about an hour and a half ago. So, I guess you've been here that long."

Eddie untwists his arm, shaking her off. "You are being scarily calm right now, Queen of Catastrophizing."

"I already had an hour and a half to freak out. You think I need more?" Robin says as she stands up.

"I guess not," Eddie follows after her.

"Hey, help your old man up," Wayne grumbles, hand out for Eddie to grasp and help pull.

They go down the hall and now Eddie can see the full collective of people in his living room. Nancy, Mike, Lucas, Erica, Max, and Dustin, who is still holding Steve. It settles something inside Eddie, that the group he sees before him is the same one that fought tooth and nail to clear his name and keep him alive.

"So, we're all really sure that we can't just glue it back on?" Mike is asking when Eddie, Robin, and Wayne make it to the living room.

"We aren't sure about anything, Mike," Nancy replies, the frustration in her voice clear.

Everyone stops talking, though, as Wayne gives Eddie a thump on his back and wades through the crowd to get back to his chair. "Well, don't stop on my account. If I hear somethin', no I didn't."

That gets a snort of a laugh from Dustin.

Nancy looks like she wants to argue but doesn't. Instead, she wheels on Eddie, full journalism mode seemingly on, "what happened?"

Eddie swallows thickly before answering, "I dropped him. I-I pick him up and something pinched my palm. It surprised me, or something, and I just- I just let go. He landed on his left side before falling onto his back."

Nancy nods, brain processing much faster than Eddie right now, "And the crack appeared before or after you dropped him?"

He tries to remember, "I don't- I think so?"

"You think or you know?"

"I don't know."

"You don't know?"

"I don't know, Wheeler," Eddie says it more harshly than needed but he doesn't know! He doesn't remember because he didn't even look at Steve for longer than a second or two after Jeff saw him. "I've been having a mental breakdown kind of all day so no, I don't know! All I know is it's my fault because there wasn't a crack this morning, and now he's missing a finger-"

She's not even effected by his outburst, "Eddie! I'm not blaming you! I'm asking for the details because if you didn't do anything to cause the crack, then maybe that's just Steve, breaking the curse or something."

His anger drains from him almost as quickly as it built. "What?"

"I've been reading a lot, researching you know. About magical transformations. But there's not a lot of nonfiction on the subject. Ergo, I've been reading a lot of fairy tales."

"Which isn't really good for research-" Dustin starts, but Nancy just talks over him.

"My point is that, if you didn't do anything to cause the crack, maybe it just happened naturally. Supernaturally? Whatever, maybe it's a sign of whatever curse is on Steve is fading on it's own. That's why I wanted to know," she shifts from one foot to another now before adding, "I'm sorry about your day. I might have broached the subject differently had I known."

"No, you wouldn't have, but that's why I like you, Wheeler. You're a no-nonsense gal and I appreciate that," Eddie says.

Nancy gives him a small, almost shy, smile in return and the room falls into a silence that just this side of uncomfortable.

"Alright, Dustin, since the talkin' seems to be done, you wanna fill an old man in on what the hell's been goin' on around here for the last few years?" Wayne breaks the silence and Eddie barks out a laugh at the look on everyone's faces.

"Uhh, we don't-I don't know what you are talking about," is Dustin's eloquent answer.

Wayne nods and Eddie knows his uncle well enough to recognize the look on his face and in his eyes. Wayne switches tactics, then, and says, "You got any one older than twenty-five that knows what's happenin'?"

The group exchanges looks before Dustin says, "yes."

"Alright. They comin' here?"

"Yes."

"I can wait, then. Anyone hungry? Thirsty?" Wayne asks, and then without waiting for an answer, looks to Eddie and says, "Eddie, get to makin' some sandwiches. What kinda host are you?" Wayne is shaking his head like he can't believe Eddie's audacity.

Eddie sputters out some indignant response, even as he turns to round the corner cabinet to officially be in the kitchen. His first choice is peanut butter and jelly, but when he gets the peanut butter out, he can see there's probably enough for two sandwiches, three if it's a thin layer of peanut butter. Opening the fridge shows a sad amount of lunch meat; the cupboard has two tuna fish cans.

"Guess we're making several different sandwiches," Robin's voice so close to his back makes him jump, which earns a chorus of chuckles from the peanut gallery in the living room.

"Someone needs to get you a bell," Eddie mutters. "Get to work on the PB and J's. I'll get this tuna mixed."

They work in silence, making three different types of sandwiches. Wayne knew they didn't have enough of any one thing to make enough for everyone here, and the ones who will be showing up eventually, but he told Eddie to do it anyway. Asked, but didn't wait for an answer. Wayne's making busy work for him, he realizes. A distraction from what he's done. He's not sure if he should be thankful for that or not.

The only thing separating the kitchen from where everyone is seated in the living room is a counter and cupboards, so when the sandwiches are done, Eddie just shoved them across the counter. "Sandwiches are done."

It's not exactly a rush for the sandwiches on the other side of the counter but everyone does gather to grab one. There's not even an argument about wanting a specific one, except Max, who is offered all three kinds and when she says PB&J, Mike hands over the one he grabbed without hesitation. It's the most mature thing Eddie's seen him do, if only because every other time he does something mature he complains about it, which kind of ruins the 'mature' part.

It's about three minutes into eating that the trailer's front door bursts open and at first no one is there, like a gust of wind had blown it open, but then El comes barreling in and Hopper can be heard shouting something about knocking first.

"Where is he?" El demands.

"Here," Dustin is already holding Steve out to her. She doesn't even approach Dustin, just pulls Steve to her using her mind, grabbing him out of the air with one hand. She examines him quickly, finding the crack. She trails one of her fingers along the crack to where his pinky is missing. Dustin adds, "Do you want his finger, too?"

She shakes her head and turns to Eddie next, and he doesn't even feel the bandana leave his pocket, but he does watch it fly across the space between them. She moves over to sit in front of the TV, Steve in her lap as she's folding the bandana into a blindfold.

"TV," is her final demand as her eyes vanish behind cloth and she's trying off the bandana. Mike moves instantly to the TV, clicking it on to fill the room with static.

Wayne, to his credit, has only the tiniest hint of an eyebrow raised from watching things move about the room seemingly by nothing. El hadn't even stopped to consider someone not In The Know was here. Guess he's In The Know now.

Will, Jonathan, Argyle, Joyce, and Hopper have made it into the trailer, closing the door silently behind them. Hopper finds Wayne among the crowd of kids, eyes going wide, while Wayne just lifts his sandwich in a salute before taking a big bite out of it.

"Steve, I cannot hear you. I do not think you can hear me in your mind. Nod if you hear me now." El's voice breaks the tense silence that had fallen.

Of shit, what did Eddie do?

"Oh, good. Are you okay?" A pause. "He is nodding. Do you know what happened? He is shaking his head. Do you know why you are far away now? Shaking his head again. You can still hear. Can you still see? He is nodding. Steve, there is a crack on your arm-"

"His left arm," Mike interjectes.

"Yes, your left arm. Yes. You are missing a finger on that hand. Do you think that is what is causing the distance? He is shrugging. Do not worry, we will figure this out. I am going to go now."

El pulls off the bandana and uses it to wipe the blood from her nose before setting it on the living room floor. "I cannot get as close to him as I could before. He stays far away no matter how close I walk. But he is okay."

He's okay. Steve's okay. Fucking Christ, Eddie's going to throw up. A couple people call his name as he dashes down the hall. He crashes through the bathroom door and knows he doesn't have time to close it, so everyone gets to hear him lose his sandwich into the toilet bowl. On the third heave of his stomach, cool hands touch his head, gather his hair up and away from his face. He doesn't even have it in him to flinch or jump. "Thanks."

"I'd say anytime, dingbat, but I don't really want to hold your puke hair too many more times. You get, like, two more, tops," Robin says.

"I can't go back out there, Robin," he whispers, "I did this. I cracked him, broke his finger off and now El can't even hear him. I can't- he's gotta go with someone else. I can't-"

"I know. Dustin already asked if you'd be upset if Steve went home with him. I'll let him know you understand he needs to be around Steve right now."

"Why aren't you mad at me?"

"Dingbat. Eddie. You're mad enough at yourself for all of us," she says, reaching over and flushing the toilet. Eddie feels like there's more throwing up to do but he is glad to have the smell of vomit reduced with the flush. He sits up a bit more, so his hair won't fall into his face when Robin lets go. Robin lets go long enough to search the bathroom cabinets for a hair tie, pushing it into Eddie's hands. "Hair up."

"So demanding," Eddie mumbles even as he gathers his hair into the tie.

"Once you're done ralphing just go to bed. I'll get everyone out of your house."

Eddie nods and Robin leaves, clicking the door closed. He heaves a few more times before his body is done. On shaking legs, he makes his way to his room. He feels like he's floating above himself again. He doesn't know if everyone has left yet, or if he hears nothing because he's too out of it.

He tucks himself in and dozes. He wakes up three times; once, when his uncle comes in and puts the walkie near him on the bed, the second time in the evening when Robin wriggles into his bed and forces herself into his arms with a simple I usually hold Steve when I'm feeling bad, but I suppose you holding me will have to do and the final time, almost at midnight, when the walkie goes off.

"Anyone up?" says the disembodied voice of Dustin Henderson.

Eddie's not sure how the quiet voice woke him up, but it does. He reaches over Robin, who has starfished out of his arms in their sleep, to grab the walkie. He doesn't know if he should answer, so he holds out for someone else.

"Hello?" Dustin asks again.

No one answers. So, finally, Eddie does. "I'm here, Henderson. Bad dream?"

"I'm glad it's you, Eddie," Dustin says, something soft in his voice.

"Why?"

"'Cause I wanted to talk to you," says a new voice, a familiar voice.

"Steve?" Eddie whispers, even as his free hand is violently shaking Robin awake.

Robin mumbles something incoherent, head turning to Eddie as the voice on the walkie says, "Yeah, it's me."

[pappycat89]

Just a weird dream that i had last night about gender stuff. Its long, so its under a cut.

I had a dream last night where i was at a party, and ran into some people filming a tiktok where this masculine presenting person did this hair flip that hid a transition to them wearing a wig and feminine makeup and they looked stunning, so i asked them about it and they put me in a wig and makeup and i looked in the mirror and it was amazing. Like, it wasnt my face i saw, but a fully like, female structured face, but i knew it was me and i was so happy. I loved how i looked and couldnt believe it, so i went looking for the perfect mirror to take a selfie in, which meant going inside.

the house i went into wasnt mine on the outside, but the inside was, and it was stupidly big. Like, a huge mansion but also non-Euclidean so the halls and stuff didnt make sense. Anyway, my family kept showing up and interrupting me and asking what i was doing and when they saw the makeup they got all weird and were like "well, if thats something you want to do i guess thats ok, but like, men look silly in makeup so maybe dont do that?" So i left and went to my dads house instead,

When i got there i ran into him and my stepmum. My stepmum didn't seem no notice or care, she was just like "hi, good to see you" gave me a hug and went about her day. My dad seemed pretty supportive and was happy to see me but kept asking me a lot of weird questions that i had to explain. They weren't bad or rude or anything, i just didnt have the energy to answer them and it made me feel like i had to justify why i was doing it and i felt weird.

So i left and decided i didnt need a mirror, so i went to the local park where they had this weird old cave/cliff system on the edge of a lake, so i went to take some artsy photos and stuff, and also be near water because i love water, and i ran into my housemate who had set up this weird camp in a semi-hidden cave. He didn't notice me at first so i tried to senak out as to not disturb him, but i couldnt climb out the way i came because suddenly i was wearing heels. He heard me try and came over to help me out, without any weird comments about my wig or makeup or anything, just that he would be camping there for a few days and to leave some dinner in the fridge for him.

So i wandered away from the cave, towards some shops. At this point i was feeling kinda hopeless, like there was no point in wearing the wig or makeup, or being a girl, because no one accepted it or cared about it and i just wanted to feel happy but every time i tried i got interrupted. As i got to the shops i found this kind of new age store with all these tie-dyed clothes and crystals and stuff. I entered, and instantly started feeling out of place, like everyone would know i was just wearing a wig and not really a girl, so i tried to just stick to myself.

Then, one of the people working there came up to me and she complemented me on my makeup, and gave me some suggestions for other colours they had that would look good, and we started talking about crystals and what ones i was wearing and others they had that would work well, and then an older lady came up and started talking to me about the clothes they had and helped me pick out some outfits. When i went to try some on i found that my body had changed as long as i wore the wig, so suddenly all these clothes fit me and i could wear different cuts, and i was so stupidly happy that i started to cry, so they sat me down and we had some tea and talked and they invited me to a witchy crafting convention on the weekend, and one of the ladies there convinced me to buy some tickets for a lottery they had for a store gift card, so i did cos i had some coins to spare, and she made this big deal about putting my numbers into a bingo ball cage thing and drawing "random" numbers but one of the other workers told me she had rigged the machine and was giving the gift cards to whoever she wanted and just before she could draw my numbers my alarm went off and i woke up.

I've always felt like dreams have meaning to a lot of the content in them. Especially the dreams you remember when you wake up. Its not hard to see what this one means, lol I'm still not ready to try presenting as female, and im not sure i ever will be, but it was a pleasant dream none the less

[starryseo]

superhero!sicheng

background: in this alternate universe, the members of nct will have various superpowers and abilities. this bulleted series will describe them in school situations - a school of superheroes/ villains - and also outside of school, in non-magical settings, for instance, describing a non-magical job they may have. it’s kind of like harry potter in the sense that only people with powers can access this magical world (where the school is) but magic users can easily travel in between both worlds. enjoy!

super speed & flexibility;

ok so sicheng here is like a mix of elastigirl and dash

dont ask me how that works out it just does ok

a bit weird maybe

but still super (hah puns) badass

he is really ! heckin' !! flexible !!!

like, he's out there doing flips and somersaults and it looks so cool damn

he can even do the acrobatics in super speed it's awesome

the guys took a video of him doing that once and when they hooked it up to a laptop to slo mo it, the laptop couldn’t handle processing it because they had to slow it reaaaaaaaaal down

so it just crashed lmao

he's really humble about his powers though

he never tries to show them off or gloat or anything

but if - when - people ask him to show them something

he just can't say no because he doesn't want to let them down or anything

he has this move that always makes him and the guys laugh

where he does the bridge, but then he elongates his arms and legs

((it’s the best thing ever))

donghyuck always jumps on top of sicheng when he does that

so hyuck is basically overlooking everyone

it makes him feel superior af #longlivekingdonghyuck

and whenever sicheng is in a minutely awkward or embarrassing situation

you bet your butt hes just gonna super speed away the heck outta there

people tend to think he’s always red because he’s always running really fast

but n o p e

he’s a shy bean that’s blushing because people are constantly complimenting him

ok so imagine there was a school vs school competition

but this time with magic !!!

you bet your butt (again) yuta signed him up for all the running races

yuta also has The Best™ signs and posters with sicheng’s face on it

and he coined the nickname Winwin bc sicheng’s always winning

even against the other super speed runners because this boy is always practicing so he doesn’t disappoint anyone during the race

his smile after winning each race is so precious-

ok so he’s great !!! at phys ed (esp. gymnastics and running for obvious reasons) but he’s also amazing at the no magic sports like swimming. he likes the rush he gets because he’s not as fast in water, so he’s trying to improve his personal best

ofc hyuck and yuta have made him try to run on water

after like 7 unsuccessful attempts (mainly bc hyuck kept pushing yuta into the water as sicheng was running) he finally managed to do it without them two interfering

it was legendary

kinda like dash’s run on water, minus the villains behind him trying to kill him

outside of school!!!!

he also has a job outside of being totally badass in school

of course he’s a cute lil’ barista boy at a cafe close-by

hes winwinning hearts there everyday too give him a break ppl

he tries making lots of different designs on the drink, he mainly bases them on different powers like drawing flames or a snowflake

they may not be super detailed but they’re really cute and he always serves them with a smile

so he gets a lot of tips :)))

he also really likes this job because he gets to see different kinds of people all the time

he usually has late shifts after school, so he gets to see how humans cope with their abundance of school work

and when he has really late shifts, how people are really quiet, mainly listening to music, barely awake

on the weekends, he’s there up and early, and he finds it funny how 50% of the customers are in a rush to get to places like shopping or work

but then the rest are coming in happy groups and they’re just chilling, having a good time

he just really likes watching humans do their thing,, makes him think that there really isn’t much of a difference between their kind and his

but there’s still this separation which he has never really liked, but has had to put up with

so he always try to be as happy as possible around them

because even if they don’t know that hes not 100% human he’s still going to be as nice as possible

bc he’s just a really nice guy like that

my beautiful sicheng, the speedy stretcher <3 

so, as cliches go, you guys met in the cafe he works at

and you quickly became a regular there because of a school project that you had

you would always have a hot chocolate with whipped cream but then ask the barista for what they’d recommend as a side dessert

and he sort of just found that cute and you super cute over the days

but he’s a shy lil’ thang so he would just hand you your stuff quickly & quietly when he was serving you

but then he was always cleaning around the table you were at when his role changed

the guys would catch on pretty quickly because he’d be rushing to leave after school and kept ditching their hang-out sessions for extra shifts

they thought he was doing something dodgy and not telling them 

so they followed him and were rlly confused when he did just get on with his actual job

UNTIIIIIL doyoung realised that sicheng kept staring at one particular customer in the far booth

and then the whole gang knew about this crush

yuta geared up and not so subtly used his powers [will be revealed in his one ;^)] to give sicheng a push in the right direction

a.k.a sicheng tripped over and fell right into you

a.k.a some teen nudged you just as you had picked up your now-lukewarm hot chocolate so it spilled onto you

panic ensued (with yuta and co. cackling in the background) and sicheng frantically trying to hand you tissues

he apologised profusely and you were kind enough to brush it off (but it was obvious you were kind of  annoyed)

and he felt so so so bad because there goes any chance he had with having a good first impression

you still came back the next day though and sicheng gave himself a quick pep talk and walked to you before he could change his mind

he started off the conversation saying sorry again and somehow he managed to string along “i’d really love to make it up to you this saturday...”

free food and time with a cute boy? you couldnt have said yes to his offer quicker

saturday came quickly and the date had gone amazingly - by now, sicheng knew the gang knew and they were all being the best WinWinWingMen [thats literally what they called themselves]

yuta & hyuck taught him Flirting 101

jaehyun picked out his outfit after johnny had had his fashion evaluation on it & then taeyong ironed the clothes out

doyoung tried starting a talk show to ease sicheng’s nerves until the dreamies shoved and locked him out

anyways, the date went amazingly and led to more until you guys started dating

it was cute and all but after being together for two years sicheng realised he hadn’t told you that he wasn’t... exactly... human

and he was really scared about how you would react

mainly because he’d seen people confess things in the cafe and usually it went well

but there were times that it didn’t and he remembers them better and so he’s scared

he doesn’t think you’d react in an over-the-top way but he’s still scared you’d leave him because he’s different

he’s never really spoken to you about Supers, fearing you’d realise he is one and leave him

but one day he decides that you should know because the relationship is serious now and he trusts you

when he sat you down to talk to you

first you thought he was going to break up with you because of how serious he was, and he kept saying “i’m so sorry about this, please don’t take this badly”

and you just held his face and stroked your thumb over his cheeks, telling him to breathe slowly

and after he had calmed down, he mumbled out so quietly, “i’m not... normal”

and at first you thought he was talking about his insecurities until he carried on

“i can do things other people can’t... like i can run and stretch myself”

and, to be completely honest, you were lost, and that obviously showed on your face because sicheng smiled a lil’ and decided to show you instead

so he stood up, and dashed to the door and you were like

whoa

how-

and then it finally clicked: he was superhuman

sicheng decided it would be better to stay away from you in case you reacted explosively

but he wished he was closer because your eyes were sparkling in awe

and he wishes he could’ve seen that up close instead

you were so in awe, and that night you got him to explain more about his powers and magic in general

and he’s so happy you’re still with him, that day was filled with non-stop affection 

after that he mixes up the dates by also taking you around the magic world, but he’s always careful to watch out for authority figures

because they might react badly to a non-magic person

but so far so good

and sicheng’s never been happier

highkey felt bad that i hadn’t posted anything in a while so here we go :)) hope you enjoyed!!

[roommateofmyimagination-blog]

Chapter 13: Death by giggles

✗ Adrian  ✗ I decided to walk to the rec center on campus. Aj would probably be mad if i decided to drive and not get the benefits of the fresh air or some bullshit reason. The walk wasn’t that long either, the campus wasn't that big anyways. When i reached the center I saw Aj sitting outside with his bag on the ground at his feet.

“Yo.” I shouted out to him and held my hand up.

Aj turned around and stuffed his phone into his pocket. “You actually came, surprising.” He crossed his arms over his chest.

“Im an asshole, not a promise breaker.” I walked up to him and slugged him in the arm.

“And you hit like a child.” He laughed and hooked an arm around my shoulders. “Lets go and get changed and start on making you bulkier.” he bent down a bit, taking me with him to pick up his bag.

“I dont wanna look like you. I like my size.” I mumbled beside him.

“Oh, i’m not going to make you huge like i am, just….bigger...stronger i mean.” He smiled at me with a huge grin.

“Yeeeaah okay big guy.” i laughed and shook my head. We went up to the front desk and showed our student IDs and were let in for free.

Aj took me to the locker room, “Are you squirmish on changing in front of people?” He looked back at me with a grin.

“No, I went to public school and had gym classes thank you.” I walked up to a locker and set my bag down, pulling my shirt off over my head.

“Aight.” he laughed and went to a locker close me and dropped his bag. He pulled out his clothing before taking anything off. Aj took his shoes off first then pulled his shirt off. I had my tank top on under my shirt and stared at aj as he undressed. Aj wasn’t a freakishly huge guy, but he was built like a brick shit house. He had a very broad chest and shoulders, with very large biceps. And i shit you not you could probably wash clothing on his abs , I wasn’t able to count but i feel like he’s more than a twelve pack of abs….he could very well have more and his hips had like the most perfect v-line cut to them. I looked up to see Aj staring down at me with a brow raised. “Having fun?”

“Aaaauuuuuuh…” I looked down at my feet then back up at him, “yeah.” I said bluntly.

“At least you’re honest.” he laughed. “But when i take my pants off can you not stare? I feel like Karim would know even if he isnt here and kill me when i get home.”

“I can try not to.’ I looked at the clothing on his bag. “Do you just bring a extra pair of pants?” i asked looking back up at him.

“Yeah? Shirts are pointless if im going to get sweaty.” He put a hand on my shoulder and slowly but gently pushed me and made me turn around and have my back to him. I heard a belt buckle and pants hit the ground.

Grabbing my basketball shorts from my bag, i quickly took my shoes off and wiggled my skinny jeans down to my ankles and step out to put my shorts on. Sitting on the bench to put my shoes back on, i looked over at Aj. He had on like a wear pair of tight sweat pants but it wasn’t tight around his waist, it was actually quiet baggy and the cloth around his legs was tighter. Aj sat on the bench beside me and put his shoes back on.

“Do you have anything specific you wanna try or do?” He leaned back and waited for me to finish tying my shoes.

“Uuh, not really i dont work out that much.” I turned to face him as i grabbed my hair and tired it up in a high ponytail.

Aj grabbed the bottom of my tank top and lifted it up to my chest. “Dude, you dont work out? Bullshit.” he dropped my shirt.

“I said not much, i did before school, i usually get lazy during the semesters.” I stuck my tongue out at him.

“Hm, we’ll we’re going to get that changed.”  He got up and slapped my back, “cmon.”

“Chill muscle head.” I flipped my head over and grabbed my hair that way because the first ponytail didnt go right. “Some of us have hair we need to fix.”

“Woah holy shit dude you’re huge.” A familiar voice came from behind me. “Come here often?”

“Yeah, and you are? I think i’ve seen you before.” Aj spoke to the voice behind me.

“Kane.” he said and i saw Aj make a motion like he was extending his hand.

Flipping my head back up, i had tied my hair in a messy as fuck bun, “whats up Kane.” I turned to look at Kane who had Aj’s hand in his.

“Sup.” he smiled down at me. He had on a white tank top and gray sweatpants and his hair pushed back by a bandana. “You started working out?”

“Not started, just bonding time with Aj.” I got up off the bench and gave Kane a high five.

“Wanna join us for a work out?” Aj put his hands on his hips. “Im use to working out alone, but it is fun to have others, especially if you two fail horribly.”

Kane started laughing loudly while i smacked Aj on his arm. “We might be tiny but we aren’t weak.”

“HA, i dunno about you, but im pretty sure I’m stronger than you.” Kane started chuckling evily to himself.

“Oh you’re on blondie.” I grabbed his bag from him and tossed it in my locker and closed it. “Cmon lets go, start walking.” i got behind  Kane and started pushing him out of the locker room.

Aj had the great idea to see how much both of us could pick up in weights or how much we could press.

“Actually, is there a tire in here?” Kane looked up at Aj. “Like, a fairly big heavy one?”

“Uh, yeah? Why?” Aj raised a brow at kane and then pointed over to a huge tire on the ground.

“Cmon skrillex hair cut.” Kane laughed and grabbed my wrist. “We’re gonna see if you can pick up this tire.”

“The fuck? I doubt you can do it either.” I huffed and let Kane drag me.

“Hahaha, try it, you go first.” Kane motioned his head to the tire.

“No you first.” I crossed my arms over my chest, “this was your idea.”

“Oh god, flip a coin for it.” Aj walked up and stood between us. “Or pick a number between one and ten. Whos ever closest goes last.”

“Five!” Kane shouted and looked to me.

“Eight.” I glared at Kane.

“It was three. You go first Adrian.” Aj put a hand on my shoulder and shoved me a bit.

“Ffffffuck FINE!” I sighed heavily and stepped closer to the tire. “Do i need to do this a certain way?”

“Hands under, lift with you legs.” Aj had his hands out in front of him and squatted down to demonstrate. “Just dont hurt yourself.”

“Aight will try not to.” I sighed and spread my feet a bit apart and lowered down at the knees and got my hands as best as i could. trying to lift the tire i held my breath and tried to pick it up at least a little. I was failing horribly at this too, it was not moving an inch at all with how much i was trying.

“You can see his arm muscles, it not like he doesnt have any.” I heard Kane mumbling to Aj.

“Yeah but this is hard.” Aj mumbled back.

Grunting really loudly, i fell backwards on my ass. “Fuck you both!” I turned to look at them and gave both of them the middle finger. “You come and try this shit Kane, cuz i know Aj can do it.”

Kane came over and helped me off the ground. “Aight pretty boy, stand back.” He patted my shoulder. Kane lowered himself at his knees like i did and got his hands under the tire. He shrugged his shoulders a bit and took in a deep breath or two. Pursing his lips he let out a light grunt and worked the tire up. It wasnt the quickest lift ever by he was able to pick it up. Once he got it on its side, he put his hip against it so itd stay up and hooked his arm around it. “So?”

Aj started clapping lightly for him. “Nice i didnt think you could lift it.”

“What the fuck man?!” I glared at him, “you’re like fairly the same size as me and i couldnt lift it!?” i groaned and threw my head back.

“I think he just has more-” Aj was going to speak until Kane laughed.

“Nah what ever you were going to say might be true, but thats probably not the case.” he had a huge smile on his face, “im actually a mechanic, lifting and moving tires is fairly easy for me even if i dont look massive.”

“You cheated then!” I yelled and went to grab Kane by the shirt and shake him.

Kane started laughing hard and grabbed onto my wrists, “its not cheating if i dont tell you!”

“FALSE ADVERTISEMENT YOU SHIT!!” I started shaking him more violently. He grabbed onto my forearms trying to stop my shaking.

“Alright children.” aj grabbed the back of my shirt and pulled me away from kane, and put his palm on Kane’s chest. “We’ve established that Kane here can kick your ass Adrian.”

“I demand a retry!” I huffed and crossed my arms over my chest.

“Nah i can still kick your ass half-shave.” Kane had a cocky smirk on his face.

“Imma kill you!” I extended my hands out towards Kane again this time trying to go for his neck. Aj still had his hand on my shirt and was holding me back, Kane all the while was laughing his ass off at it all.

“Im sorry come here you delicate angry child.” Kane walked up and hugged me putting his arms around my neck, “im sorry.” he spoke softly and nuzzled his cheek against mine.

“Imma kick your ass later for this.” I put my arms around his waist to return the hug.

“You guys look cute together.” Aj laughed before turning around, “cmon follow me you tiny kittens.”

“I prefer the term mighty cub thank you.” Kane stuck his tongue out at Aj who had his back to us.

“Alright, mighty cub, get stalkin.” I pushed on Kane to let me go and pressed my hands on his shoulders forcing him to walk in front of me.

The three of us had fun together at the gym. Aj slowly regretted having me and Kane together because of the fact we’d start goofing off with each other as Aj tried to teach us or we’d get distracted by watching Aj do something and neither of us really followed after him. We both just kinda zoned out and stared at Aj’s ass when he started doing squats. Kane was losing his shit with randomly giggling at seeing Aj flex or something and would grab onto me and shake my arm trying to hide his giggling. When Kane and i were actually able to function and participate in what Aj was trying to get us to do, it was enjoyable. Minus the fact that i did not have the stamina, willpower, or strength to do anything that Aj was making us do. Kane was a lot more well off than i was, He was just a bit shorter than me and not as fit looking like i was either and the kid was still kicking my ass in everything. Eventually at the end we all sat down on the floor catching our breath.

“So Aj whats your major or minor.” Kane asked as he wiped the sweat off his face with his shirt

Aj looked at him with a raised brow. “What do you think im at college for?”

“Uuuuuuh.” Kane stared at Aj with wide eyes and looked him up and down, “football?”

“Pfft. no.” Aj started to chuckle, “gave up football in high school. Im going to school to be a physical therapist, personal trainer, chiropractor, and massage therapist.”

“Oh fuck what do you not do?!” Kane leaned away from Aj a bit, “HOW LONG ARE YOU GOING TO SCHOOL FOR DUDE?!” Both Aj and i fell over with laughter at Kane’s reaction. Kane grumbled “its not that funny! Dude you’ll be like eighty when you graduate!”

“Its all good man, i actually get that a lot.” Aj sat back up again. “Dunno if i’ll pursue all of it yet, but its what i wanna do. What are you here for?”

“I have a degree or certificate whatever you wanna call it in Mechanical engineering, minoring in theater.”

“You do theater?” I asked and popped up again off the floor, “you didnt tell me that?”

“I think i did but thats beside the point, heres the real question. Aj, what the fuck is your real name?” Kane leaned forward towards Aj, leaning down on his legs. “I just wanna know where Aj comes from.”

Aj leaned closer to him and waved for me to lean in too, “okay so, if any of you call me by my real name, i get to kick you okay?” we both looked at each other and nodded, turning back to Aj. “okay, not really but i dont like being called it. My name is Austin and my middle name is Joseph. Now you have to share yours.” He leaned back away from us.

I put my hand up a bit, “Russell.”

“Lucius Riley!” Kane smiled happily and rocked side to side slowly.

“Story time? Why’d your parents give you two middle names?” I asked and put my elbow on my knee and my cheek in my hand, “you have an odd combo of names too.”

“Well my dad named me Kane.” His smile softened a bit as he spoke, “mom didnt know if she wanted to name me Lucius or Riley, so she just convinced dad that im having those as my middle name. My middle names mean a lot to me.”

“Can i ask why?” I spoke softer this time, seeing that Kane had a not so happy look on his face but he was still smiling.

“My parents split up and i lived in two homes, eventually i lost my mom.” He spoke in a very soft whisper, “so thats why its important to me, i also was with her a lot anyways after my dad got remarried and they were raising my half sister.”

“Hey, i’m really sorry about your mom.” Aj spoke softly to and put a hand on Kane’s shoulder.

“Thanks.” He smiled up at Aj and smiled at me, “it sucks to have lost my mom, but i know she’s watching over me.”

“Thats a good outlook on it.” I said and leaned over to pat Kane as well.

“Yeah.” he said softly and pulled out his phone from his pocket. “AH, guys, i need to bounce, I promised id take my roommate and his bro to something tonight and i need to shower and do some things before we leave.” Kane started getting up and fixing his clothing.

“Uuuuh, is it possibly a show at the Lethal Apple?” I asked looking up at him.

“Uuuuuuuuuuuuh….” he paused, “yeah i think so.”

“YOU BITCH! Thats my show with my band!!” I scrambled to get up and shake him by his shirt once again.

“AAaaaah! Dude!” Kane grabbed onto my wrists again, “Im sorry please dont hit me! I’ll be there aight!”

“You better be!” I looked down at Aj, “you coming too?”

“I can ask Karim if he wants to go, is Val going?” Aj got up and patted his ass off from any dirt.

“I think he will yeah.” i looked up at Aj who had a smirk on his face.

“Then yeah, ill see if Karim can go and we’ll see you there.” he put a hand on my shoulder and pushed me away from Kane. “you need a ride home man?”

“Nah, i got my truck, thanks tho.” Kane smiled up at Aj, taking a quick look down at his chest then back up.

“Aight, you want a lift back to the dorms Adrian?” Aj looked over at me.

“You drove?” I asked.

“Yeah?” He answered.

“YOU BITCH, I WALKED HERE.” I brought my hands up to Aj to shake him and he stared at me with a raised brow. I stopped my reach and put my hands back down when i realized he hasnt been wearing a shirt and i’d feel bad for touching his chest. I think Karim would actually kill me if i touched Aj’s fucking pecs “Fuck you.” I mumbled, causing both Aj and Kane to laugh.

We walked back to the locker room to grab our belongings. Kane left us early on because he parked elsewhere in the lot. Aj didnt tell me he only had his motorcycle and didnt have a second helmet. He got the engine going and had his helmet on and waved me to hop on the back. I got on pretty easily given this wasnt my first experience riding bitch seat, but i was nervous about putting my hands around Aj’s waist.

“I wont go anywhere if you dont put your hands around me.” He looked back and raised the visor off his face and up onto his helmet.

“Will Karim know? I feel like he’ll kill me if he knows.” I kept my hands between my legs.

Aj stared at me with a confused look before laughing loudly. “I think Karim wont mind because it means keeping you safe. He’d kill me knowing i didnt have a second helmet for you instead of you hugging me to stay safe.”

“I still feel wrong if i touch you….” I mumbled.

“Just shut up and put your hands on my hips, you’ll be fine.” He laughed once more.

Grumbling loudly, i put my arms around Aj and leaned into him, holding on tightly. I patted his chest to let him know i was good and he was ready to take off when he put his visor back down. The trip to the apartments was an even shorter trip by vehicle but Aj kept at a slow pace for me since i didnt have a helmet on. He pulled up as close to our building as he could and let me get off.

“Hey.” Aj raised the visor up.

“Hm?” I turned around to look at him and shift my bag onto my back.

“You wanna come over for dinner soon at our place?” he shifted his weight on the bike, “Karim would want to get to know you more and hang out with Val some, those two are close anyways.”

“Yeah, i can ask cupcake what his plans are. I just gotta tell my parents im not coming home this weekend.” I twirled my hair on my finger.

“Cool, i’ll ask Karim what his weekend looks like and i’ll text you or val what we decide on then.” He flipped his visor back down and held a peace sign up. “Peace man, i’ll see if i can make it to your show.”

“Alright, see ya if you can.” I waved him off and watched until he was out of the lot to climb the stairs to the apartment.

The lights were off and the door was locked, so i assumed Val wasn’t home yet and still off doing some things. I walked in and turned the lights on, going to the bedroom and tossing my bag down before going over to the dresser and pulling out the draw Demyan sleeps in. I looked down to see him all bundled up on my clothes.

“Hey, you good?” i poked his little head.

He looked up at me and yawned a bit, “Oh welcome back pup.”

“Thanks. You need anything? Food, water….condoms?” I asked and petted him gently.

“Uhm...no thank you, I think i do not need any of that.” he curled back up and closed his eyes.

“Alright, i’ll be in the shower.” I closed the drawer a bit before i pulled off my shirt and stepped out of my shorts. Going to the bathroom, i took my boxer briefs off and turned the water on. Having the hot water hit my skin felt so nice after that work out with Aj and kane. I was still freaked out by how i didn’t have the bruises from my fight with Aj anymore, and i was too freaked to ask how the fuck Aero had to deal with it. I quickly washed my hair and body, so i could soak in the hot water for awhile before i had to get ready. I heard the door click shut outside the bathroom. Turning the water off and grabbing a towel, i wrapped it around my waist and walked out of the bathroom.

I took just a few steps out before i had Val run right into my chest. He stumbled backwards after he ran into me. I put both my hands around his waist and pulled him closer to me so he didnt land on his ass. “Well, welcome home to you too. Though I would prefer if you were just as naked as I am.” i looked him up and down and smiled.

Val stared up at me with wide eyes and his face bright red. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I didn’t even hear you, so I assumed you were listening to music or something and I wasn’t paying attention and I’m so sorry.” he backed up away from me and held his hands up waving me off.  

I stared at him before hunching over and laughing a bit at his reaction.“Oh god cupcake, you’re too much.” I patted my knee before getting up straight again and putting a hand on my hip. His reactions were usually just so cute and it was fun to tease him a bit. “What did you do today?”

“I went and hung out with Karim and then we also met Gabe and his little brother Yori, They were going on a walk like we were so they ended up joining us.” he started to calm down and answered me.

“Oh, that sounds like a lot of fun, compared to the torture I went through with AJ and the gym. God, damn I don’t have the stamina to keep up with that man,” I groaned painfully at the thought of doing a real work out with Aj at some point, thank god i had Kane today.

Val giggled just a bit before speaking, “I’m sure he had a good reason for making you work so hard.” he smiled as he played with his bright red hair.

“You kept your hair down.” I pointed out. Watching him play with it. His hair was such a nice color and it was a shame he wore it up so much. It looked so nice down.

“I-I did yes. I didn’t feel like putting it back up,” he sounded a bit nervous with his response as he looked up at me with those blue eyes that looked so nice with the red hair framing them.

I hummed a bit and smirked down at him, looking him up and down. He really did look nice with his hair down, looked a bit girlish more but he was still really cute looking. “So, what do you wanna do for food?”

“I think we have fish and potatoes. We can make fish and chips for dinner,” he pondered on the thought for a bit.

“Isn’t that a Friday thing?” I asked, i thought people only ate fish on fridays. Its why tuesdays are Taco tuesday and fridays are Fish friday.

“It doesn’t have to be just a Friday thing,” he sounded cocky with that remark and had a smirk on his lips.

“Go take a shower, I’ll work on the potatoes.” i chuckled a bit and ruffled his hair.

“After you get dressed. You’re not using anything in the kitchen with just a towel around your waist,” he pointed his finger at my hips and had a pink blush on his cheeks.

“Ugh, you’re not fun, live a little cupcake.” I turned around and went to the bedroom, Val following after me

“I’ll be out shortly.” fiddled around behind me and then went to the bathroom to shower.

Waiting for the door to close, i looked down and saw Aero sitting at my feet staring up at me.  “Hey princess.” I bent down and petted her head a bit, “mind giving me a second to put underwear on, i dont wanna taint your sweet princess eyes.” She meowed at me softly before walking over to Val’s bed and sat down, curling up and cleaning her foot and whipping it on her head. Watching her i grabbed a fresh pair of boxer briefs and putt them on under the towel and dropped the towel on my bed. Grabbing a pair of my black torn skinny jeans, putting on a shirt that had the top half made out of fishnet and the bottom half that covered my stomach as solid black and pulled on some socks.

I left the bedroom and went to the kitchen to pull out the potatoes and start working on them. I got at least two potatoes clean and shaved before Val bounced up beside me in a tank top and shorty shorts. He helped with the potatoes before working on the fish. Cooking went by fairly quickly and we sat at the small table together.

“You going out somewhere?” Val asked as he chewed on a potato chip.

“I have a show to do tonight, so i’ll probably be heading out after we clean up. Wanna come?” i asked before putting food in my mouth.

“Mmm!” val hummed and swallowed his food, “sure i’d love to!”

I held a thumb up to him because i had too much food in my mouth, and my phone started buzzing. Pulling it out of my pocket i put it on the table.

‘Karim and i will be coming, where is it?’ Aj had sent the text and i spun my phone around so Val could read and pointed down at it.

“Oh cool, do you know all whos going?” He looked down and up at me.

Swallowing my food. “You, Aj with Karim, I think Joce might have invited that kid she was with, and Kane will be coming with him and his brother.”

“Gabe and yori?” Val asked.

“Yeah i think so.” I took another bite.

“Oh fun! It’ll be nice to get to meet Kane a bit.” he smiled happily and took another bite.

Swallowing hard and taking a drink, “he’s a little weird just so you know.”

“Arent we all?” Val smiled up at me.

“Only the best of us.” i grinned and stuffed my mouth with the rest of my food and got up to put the dishes away. “Mmm.” I hummed, and walked back to the table to grab a drink. “You dont have to come with me, unless you wanna meet the band early before.”

“I’d like to meet them at least.” He looked up at me and smiled with his fork in his mouth. Getting up soon after and putting the dishes up.

“Hmm.” Val walked behind me as i hummed, i put my hand around me and grabbed his exposed thigh, my arm going across val’s body. “Might wanna put something a bit more appropriate on. I like the booty shorts but at the same time i dont want you to get molested or something.”

“I was going to change anyways. It’s very rare that I leave the house in short shorts. Only when I’m asked to will I leave with them on. Let me just go throw on some jeans quick.” his face was a bit red and he mumbled softly.

Sliding my fingers up just under his shorts by a bit, i let go his leg. “Alright, ill be outside then, i need a smoke.” I walked over to door and slipped on my brown boots and opened the door and walked out. I waited at the bottom of the stairs and leaned on the railing while taking a quick smoke break.

Val jogged down the stairs, “smoking isnt good for a singer.” He commented as he walked around me.

“Eh, we’ll be fine, i dont do it often.” I picked my foot up and put the cigarette out against the bottom of my boot and tossed the bud into a trash can. “Your ass looks good in those jeans.” I brushed my hand along the bottom part of his ass but mostly on the back of his thigh.

He shivered a bit, “thanks?” he mumbled.

“Your welcome, now ass in the passenger seat of my car.” I pulled out my keys and walked towards the lot. I hopped into the drivers side and turned the car on, waiting for Val to hop in as well and buckle up. “Ready?”

“Yeah.” He smiled and slumped down in the seat a bit to get comfy.

“Good good.” I put the car in reverse and backed out, going into drive and leaving campus. The Lethal apple wasn’t far from the college but it was enough so that we had to drive and couldn't walk. When we got there i saw Kane standing outside of his truck and leaning on the bed. Pulling up next to him, i waved and he waved back.

Val hopped out first before i turned the car off. Following after him i walked up to kane. “Hey man.” i held a hand out.

“Sup.” He grabbed my hand and pulled me into a bro hug. “Didnt know where to go so we just waited out here.”

“Hi Val!” Yori leaned over into the drivers side of Kane’s car.

“Hi Yori! hi gabe!” Val leaned to the side to say hi to yori then back over to say it to gabe as well.

Yori and gabe both got out of Kane’s truck and walked around to stand by us. “Sup gabe, you have fun with Jocey?” I smiled at Gabe and he kinda tensed up and started blushing.

“Uh, yeah i did.” He mumbled and rubbed the back of his head. “She’s a nice girl.”

“Oh yeah?” I started to chuckle low to myself and smirking. Val slapped my arm and glared up at me. “Oow, what?” I laughed and looked down at him.

“I dont know what you’re thinking, but be nice.” He frowned at me.

“Yeah, im sorry man.” I put a hand on Gabe’s shoulder. “Treat her right tho, if you fuck up, im kicking your ass….and so will Harv and Desi.”

“Uuuuuh.” gabe stared at me with a confused look.

Val hit me again, causing Kane and Yori to laugh. “Be nice!”

“Damn! Ow, fine fuck sorry.” I rubbed my arm and looked down at Val who was puffing his cheeks at me.

The sound of a loud engine and pipes grew closer to us before pulling up beside all of us standing outside. I assumed it was Aj because he held up a peace sign to us, and the person hugging him around the waist had to be Karim because he waved as well. Aj backed the bike up a bit and turned to park it backwards in the spot on the other side of my car. He put his feet down and turned it off before patting Karim’s thigh and letting him get off.

Karim pulled the full helmet off his head and fixed his hair. “Hi everyone.” he smiled sweetly.

“Karim! Im glad you came!” Val bounced over to Karim and hugged him.

“Of course!” Karim hugged him back, “id love to see Adrian perform.”

“Thanks.” i smiled. Aj got off the bike soon after and took his helmet off.  “Wanna put your shit in the back of my car so you dont have to lug it around?” I pointed at my car.

Aj took Karim’s helmet, “uh, sure thanks.”  I opened the back of my cars diver door and let Aj put the helmets in there and their jackets as well, before locking it up.

“I thought you didnt like riding the bike.” Val asked Karim.

“Its not my favorite thing but i feel bad making Aj fit into my car.” He laughed lightly and played with his hair.

“Yeah, he had to get the smallest car available knowing i cant fit in most cars cuz im tall as hell.” aj wrapped an arm around Karim and pulled him in closer.

“Sell the bike and get a bigger car.” Karim said flat with a smirk on his face.

Aj looked down at Karim with a raised brow, “no.” he said flatly as well.

Val laughed happily beside them before putting a hand on my back, “should we head inside?”

“Yeah,” I paused and looked around the lot, “i see everyone’s car but Harvey’s so you can meet Asher, desi and Joce.” i lead the way into the Lethal apple and was allowed to take everyone back with me.

“Gabe!!” Joce shouted and bounced up to gabe and instantly wrapped her arms around him. “Im so glad you made it!” she hugged him tightly. Joce was wearing high waisted short shorts with thigh high socks with a distressed very cut up hoodie that only covered her shoulders and short cropped tight tank top under it.

Gabe started blushing and hugged her back “Of course, I told you I was coming and I always keep my promises.”

“Good!” She smiled up at him and let him go, “Hi kane, yori and val!” she smiled at them and they all said hi back. Then turned to see Karim and Aj. “hi, who are you two and why the fuck are you so big?” she held her hands out to Karim and Aj and looked up at Aj.

“Im Karim.” he grabbed her hands, “val’s friend, and this is Aj my boyfriend.”

“Sup midget.” Aj held her hand too. “Its not my fault you’re tiny as hell.”

She blinked slowly at Aj and turned to me. “I like this one, you find him?”

“He found me cuz of Val and threatens to kick my ass a lot.” i crossed my arms.

“I LIKE HIM WE’RE KEEPING HIM!” Joce laughed loudly and let go of their hands. “Aside from that, Im Jocelyne you can call me Joce.”

“Its nice to meet you too.” Karim smiled at her.

Desi walked up in her combat boots, tight leather pants and bustier top. She had uneven blue and purple hair with blue eyes. She usually wore her bright green anti-brow piercing and her lip ring that sat in the middle of her bottom lip. “Hi boys, nice to see Adrian is making more friends. Im Desirae you can call me Desi.” she walked around and shook all of their hands. “Please be gentle with our singer, we’d like to keep him around more.”

“Shut up.” I lightly smacked her back. “Im not a child.”

“I know, but you are a heathen so thats why.” She smiled wickedly at me. “Asher come say hi.” she turned around to look behind her.

“Sup.” Asher walked up to us and waved at everyone, “im asher.” he was the more normal side of our group minus his orange as fuck natural hair that had a bluish under color that Joce did. He wore black capris and a cropped asian like jacket over a tank top.

“We’re missing our drummer too, He running late?” I asked Desi and she pulled out her phone.

“He should be here now actually, he said he was running a bit late but shot a text to me.” She answered and put her phone back in pocket.

The back door opened and in came a panting Harvey. “Hey guys sorry ‘bout that.” He looked up and shook his head. “Woah you guys brought friends.” he smiled sweetly at everyone. “Hi, im Harvey, nice to meet you all.” He bowed his head a little. “Nice to see another tall as fuck guy too.” He extended a fist out to Aj. Harvey was the tallest out of all of us, and he had long hair that was split down the middle red and black tied up in a messy bun and had a nose bridge piercing. He wore nice fitting brown jeans and a deep maroon vest jacket that he had mostly zipped up.

“Yeah totally.” he fist bumped Harvey, “you go to our school, ive seen you at the rec center.”

“Yeah i do.” he laughed lightly. Harvey then looked over at Gabe. “you gabe?” He asked.

“Yeah?” gabe stood kinda stiff with his answer.

“Aight, treat our little tiny princess well okay?” he smiled at gabe.

Joce came up and punched Harvey right in the stomach. “I’d worry more about you than him!” she huffed and put her hands on her hips.

Harvey hunched over a bit from the impact, “sorry Joe, didnt mean it like that.”

“Good!” she huffed proudly. “We’re all happy you guys came though, we hope you enjoy the show.”

“Of course, we’re all excited to see you preform.” Val smiled and came up to me, “we need to go find a seat let you guys set up?”

“Yeah might be a good idea.” I looked at my phone and back down at Val.

“Alright.” he got up on his toes and hugged me tightly, “good luck!” and he let me go and left with the others.

Joce, Des, Harvey and Asher all stood there and stared at me with wide looks trying not to smile. “What!? Go get set up you dorks!” We got everything prepped on stage and ready to go.

We don’t talk much as a band before, during or after our shows. Hell we dont even have a band name yet since we haven’t really thought about it. We just kinda roll with it and all have fun together. The Lethal apple was fairly busy tonight too which was good for us. Not a lot of people paid much mind to us when we got on stage minus Val and the group, they looked up when they heard us come on.

“Some legends are told, some turn to dust or gold. But you will remember me, remember me for centuries.” we opened up with Centuries and the chitter chattering came to a stop when we started playing and i started singing.

I dont know why but tonight's performance felt way more fun and special to me, and i think it was because of everyone coming to support us. We weren’t all close at all, but the fact that Val had friends who’d come to support us, that Joce meet Gabe and that made Kane yori and him come along, really meant a lot, even if i wasnt close to anyone of them. I kept looking over at Val who looked so amazed by it all and he’d lean into Karim and whisper something to him. Yori and Gabe looked pretty amazed by it all too, i could tell that Gabe was mostly watching Jocelyne as she stood on the other side of Desirae, with me in the middle, Asher to my right and Harvey behind us. Aj and Kane were the only two who kinda rocked to the music, both of them had their hands up briefly with their thumb, index and pinkie fingers up in the rock symbol.

We performed until closing time for the Lethal Apple.  The others waited outside for us to finish moving shit around or into our cars. When we finished moving things around we met up with the others huddled around the cars.

“Sup dudes.” I raised a hand and walked closer to them. “Enjoy the show?”

“It was great!” Val beamed happily and bounced on his toes a bit.

“Thanks cupcake.” I ruffled his hair up a bit. “Ready to head home guys?” I looked back at the group of my heathens.

“Yeah, i gotta get back to my dorm, my roommates are probably waiting for me.” Asher pulled out his phone, “yeah i lied, they are waiting and are spamming my phone. So i’ll see you guys later.”

“Bye Asher!” we waved him off and watched him leave. Harvey and Desirae left soon after Asher did.

“Do i need to take you home again Gabe?” Joce poked Gabe’s side playfully.

“Uuuh.” He blushed red and looked at Kane.

Kane started doing that same giggling from the gym earlier today. “Yori get in the truck, we’re leaving gabe with the lady.” Kane started pushing on Yori who held his place and leaned back into Kane.

“We aren’t leaving him a second time!” Yori laughed, “unless he wants us too.” he had a wicked looking smirk on his face. Kane’s giggling stopped for a moment before he started giggling uncontrollably loud.

Everyone minus gabe, started to laugh because of Kane’s giggling. “Dude why do you giggle so much?” I asked and put my hands on Kane’s shoulders.

“I dun-hehehe-fuck if i know!” he started laughing harder now and put his face against Yori’s back and turned away so none of us could see his face.

“It was fun guys, but Karim and i need to head home.” Aj spoke and pointed at my car and waited for it to unlock before grabing his things. “I need to make sure my cat didnt eat Karim’s bird or he isnt loud cat crying waiting for us to come home.” He put his jacket on and gloves, then his helmet and got on the bike, turning it on and walking it out of the spot and waiting for Karim.

“It was, thanks for inviting us.” Karim smiled at me then gave Val a hug and whispered something to him before putting his gear on and getting on the back of the bike. “Bye everyone!” He waved and Aj held up a hand before taking off with Karim.

“Gabe, decide if you’re riding with us or the lady friend.” Kane yelled at Gabe as he got into his truck and turning the engine on.

“Ummm, a, I’ll go with Joce, I wanna hang out a bit.” he mumbled softly and smiled at Joce.

“PARTY TIME!” Joce bounced in her spot and threw her arms up.

“Alright man, Joce, i dont care when you bring him home, just bring him back to us at some point.” Kane laughed and waved a hand before getting tackled over by Yori.

“In one piece please!” then he leaned off of Kane and back into the passenger side.

“Will do i promise!” Joce wrapped her arms around Gabe’s arm.

I motioned for Val to hope in the car before getting in the driver’s side. “Joce, have fun with Gabe, but use a condom okay?” i laughed and slammed the door closed before she could pull me out of it.

“Fuck you adrian! I hope you choke on a dick!” she yelled before dragging gabe off to her car.

I laughed to myself and turned to look at Val who was hunched over trying not to laugh and having his head on his lap. “Cmon cupcake, seatbelt on we’re going to find me a dick to choke on.” I patted his back.

Val instantly made a loud spit like noise and started laughing into his hands still hunched over onto his lap.

“You okay man?! Are you choking on your dick?!” i started laughing harder and put my head down on the steering wheel and turned away so i wasnt looking at Val’s trembling shoulders with laughter.

“NOOO!” his voice squeaked out through his giggling fit.

“No you aren’t choking on your dick or no you arent okay?!” I looked back over at him and he was turned away from me.

He wheezed a bit before looking at me, “I’m not choking on my dick, but I could also not be okay.” he ran his hand under his eyes to wipe away the bit of tears he had forming.

“Are you okay man? Do you need CPR? I know cpr or do you want me to leave you alone?” I asked as i tried to calm down from laughing, “also are you flexible enough to suck yourself off cuz thats hot.” i smiled at him, trying not to laugh again.

He giggled lightly before speaking, “I am flexible enough to do that yes, if you didn’t see me bending over from laughing so hard.” his face turned a light shade of pink and he looked away from me for a second then back to me.

I stared at him with wide eyes, my mouth dropping from the smile. I blinked slowly at him for a bit. My mouth started to twitch up into a wide smile but i was trying my hardest not to smile at that comment. Eventually my mouth won and i had a stupid smile on my face before scrunching my nose and making a snorting noise.I stared at val like he had made the noise first and he stared at me with wide eyes. I ended up snorting again before covering my mouth and nose and looking away to start laughing. “You didnt hear that!”

Val smacked the dashboard before leaning back over on himself and giggling uncontrollably as well. “That was adorable.”

“Shut up!” I yelled and let out a loud whine trying to calm myself down, “I have a headache from laughing so hard now, ohmygod.” I sighed and pulled on my face.

“Im sorry.” Val giggled and fanned himself, “are we homebound or finding you a dick to suck on.” He started to giggle louder midway through his sentence.

“NOPE, we’re going home!” I turned the car on and backed out of the lot, heading back to the dorms. The ride was mainly silent with the occasional giggle from Val or me, and the the sound of us smacking each other a bit to make the laughing stop.

When we got to our building, Val hopped out first and waited for me. I put my body against him and pushed him toward the stairs, bumping my knees into the back of his to make him go. We made it up the stairs in one piece thankfully. When we got into the apartment, Aero was sitting on the floor with Demyan pinned under here and was cleaning him yet again.

“Oh god aero, do you like demmy that much?” Val asked Aero who looked up at him and meowed softly.

“Let him go princess, you dont know where he’s been and what he’s been in.” I bent down and tried to get aero off of Demyan. She whined sadly and demyan scuttled away from her and got under a table. “Cmere buddy, i wont let the portable body heater get you.” i stuck my hand under the table and demyan crawled into my palm. Holding him gently i got off the floor. “Do we need to discipline your cat?” I turned to look at Val who picked up Aero.

He looked down at her and scratched her fluffy white face.“There’s always a reason why she does something. Maybe she didn’t like the smell on him?”

I put demyan’s little body up to my nose and sniffed him, “yeah you need a bath little man I’ll be out in like two minutes.” Demyan squawked loudly at me and i put both my hands around him and walked to the bathroom. I got demyan clean pretty fast and he smelled so much better now. Grabbing a soft hand towel, i walked back to the living area where Val was sitting with aero.

I plopped down beside him while i dried off Demyan. We talked about the performance and he told me what he thought about hearing me sing and how the others had fun too. We both eventually passed out on the sofa from today’s show and all of the laughing that we did before we got home.

I woke up to the sound of birds chirping really fucking loud by one of the windows. My head was tilted back and when i picked my head up it cracked loudly.rolling my head around i looked to my right to see if val was still on the sofa. He was but the first thing i saw was his ass.Looking down at my lap, Val had his head on my thighs and was curled up on the sofa beside me. I put my hand on his thigh and slowly dragged my fingers down the length of his thigh before gently patting on his ass, “Cupcake, time to wake up.”

[islesblogger]

NHL Trade Deadline 2019: The Aftermath

  What Happened at the Deadline?

Today was Lou Lamoriello’s first trade deadline day with the NY Islanders. From all indications he pushed a few offers, but could not find the appropriate deal to add to the Burger Barn’s menu. Something that has happened in Islanders Country a lot over the past decade of  deadlines.

Mike also details the day on the The Isles Faithful Podcast Episode 25.

The last splash was in 2006 when Garth Snow sent a bag of non-magic beans to Edmonton for Ryan Smyth. What he ended up with was poke check into the playoffs, and first round ouster by a superior Buffalo team. He didn’t give up much, and upon Captain Canada’s teary-eyed departure he didn’t gain much in return. Much like that day an adequate bargain was obtained. The Islanders gave up nothing, and got nothing in return.

Embed from Getty Imageswindow.gie=window.gie||function(c){(gie.q=gie.q||[]).push(c)};gie(function(){gie.widgets.load({id:'AJonbIU5RL9ZDz0cQfTQzA',sig:'ZLGdAo2SP-FOcBT63j9y3vaggMYCpJjZM1CLN0hgbEQ=',w:'594px',h:'396px',items:'981680106',caption: false ,tld:'com',is360: false })});

Why Did it Happen?

Lou has a relatively young first place team that is buying into a new system. They’re not only in first, but they are on a post learning curve trajectory that should keep them there. Even if other teams have improved themselves at the deadline, the Islanders GAVE NOTHING AWAY.

Their biggest assets are still mysteries. But what we do know of them is that they all fit into the current scheme. Most would think that Anthony Beauvillier would have been on the block for some of the bigger fish. But I also assume that there would have had to be some kind of extension behind a deal involving Beau. Lou would not have given away a 20G RFA with center potential for a rental.

The Islanders have been short on right handed defensemen for as long as I’ve been a fan… and that’s a pretty long time. The other two items on most price lists would have been Dobson and/or Wilde. You can flip a coin (it had better be three sided) because one of Pulock, Dobson or Wilde will be on a Norris list within five years. It’s too early to tell which one of the “prospects” will be on that list, so they’re both too valuable to be traded for a rental.

As I pointed out earlier this year, there were some names that were most likely available. Lou just couldn’t find the right mix of picks, those prospects, a target and a seller’s consent.

Where Are They Now?

The Islanders lead the Washington Capitals by two points, and have two games in hand. At this point it’s basically a three-horse race for first with Columbus making a late run. The Blue Jackets helped themselves immensely by not giving up any important roster players, and acquiring Matt Duchene,  Adam McQuaid and Keith Kinkaid. This very well could become a dogfight or a walkover in the next two weeks. The Isles’ schedule is littered with division rivals and they have two more games with Washington (3/1, @ 4/6) and Columbus (3/11 and @ 3/26). Those games will be paramount.  The final game against Washington could determine home team advantage for the first round.

Where Do They Go From Here?

There are a few paths they can go by,  but in the long run… they need to think of building a team for their new arena.  The first step in that is seeing what you have on the current roster.  

Some Questions About The Future

Where does Anthony Beauvillier fit in the Islanders’ future? Is he a top six wing? Can he be a bottom six center? Can he eventually replace a guy like Val Filppula? Can he become the next Butch Goring? Can he win a face-off? Will they ever use him to kill penalties?

Will Josh Ho-Sang ever get his act together? I’m not one who is going to say I know ANYTHING about Josh’s situation beyond what out on the surface. The young man has amazing talent, and when he throws that on the ice with full focus and the full effort of his physical abilities he’s a force. When he loses that focus, he has had some issues that keep him off the ice all together. I personally want to see him with guys like Ladd, Lee, Nelson and Beau. He has to earn NHL playing time to do that. Maybe there is one last gasp this season to see if they can put some trust in him. It will make a big difference to his first RFA deal, what they do with Eberle, and whether he is an Islander after June.

Is Michael Dal Colle a full time NHL player. He had a very good NHL showing. I think he earned a full time NHL gig next year. He might even make a cameo later in the season and possibly the playoffs. Does he have a “beast mode”. He certainly has showed it in the AHL, and he has shown plenty of “moments of confidence” against NHL vets. It will be fun to watch him evolve as a player.

Embed from Getty Imageswindow.gie=window.gie||function(c){(gie.q=gie.q||[]).push(c)};gie(function(){gie.widgets.load({id:'KmU02TIdS8VgauyapoMljA',sig:'vNc2xp1GlSxsnt9MoQQ4bC9nU7sxstg6kLdGxOeTStE=',w:'594px',h:'437px',items:'1067231240',caption: false ,tld:'com',is360: false })});

Off The IR

How do they re-assemble the puzzle with their returning pieces? I’m gonna push for the BrockLeeBar line until it happens, or they give us BrockHoLee. Lee and Nelson have been very good with Jordan Eberle, but they are not creating scoring chances at a first line clip. The Isles have been pretty good at 5v5 scoring (but not defending) over the past 4 years. They need a number one line again.

This year, neither top line has really stood out as a scoring threat. The Nelson line, however, has scored more than they have given up, and that is a rarity in recent Isles history. They need to shuffle that a bit. Andew Ladd will help that. I’m sure Trotz will be reluctant to break up what works with Lee+Nelson+Eberle. I expect to see it eventually. It could be a big boost in the second season.

Hickey will eventually be paired with an recent partner. It could be with Mayfield as a solid enough third pair. When that happens you can create a single offensive pairing that can defend the neutral and defensive zones as well. Everybody that has watched Bridgeport games for the last four years knew it had to happen eventually. Pulock and Toews for 15 minutes a night at 5v5. Make it happen!

Embed from Getty Imageswindow.gie=window.gie||function(c){(gie.q=gie.q||[]).push(c)};gie(function(){gie.widgets.load({id:'nCa5D9g6SUdy9tfhjMHMZg',sig:'NwVkx-IOPGqzlvq-6hN0FSHWo4BkEQPXE0ls2PnmFCs=',w:'594px',h:'396px',items:'1093309662',caption: false ,tld:'com',is360: false })});

July?

We still have a handful of very important unrestricted free agents. Lou has passed the sell by date. Now he has a few months to sign them. No panic. My opinion… in order of importance.

Anders Lee. He’s their captain. He’s our captain. Don’t let two consecutive July’s mark the Islanders losing a captain. This one would be worse than the last one. All evidence points to Lee being an Islander through and through… so it would be on Lou if they lost him.

Robin Lehner was the biggest question mark when the season started. He has become the biggest exclamation point. He should be part of their goaltending future.

Brock Nelson. Even I thought he was a trade deadline goner in October. But Brock+structure+team buy in has been the biggest surprise of the season. If anybody thought in October that Lee, Nelson and Eberle would be the #1 line of a first place team raise your hand. Yeah, I didn’t think so. Brock has quietly (maybe invisibly) contributed 20G a year for 5 years. Now he’s in the locomotive, certainly not a passenger. He’s going to want conductor pay. Given the market for top six centers that can shoot and create from the forecheck, he’s going to get it. This is going to be a tough negotiation, but I think they come out with a solid 5 year deal.

Val Filppula. The Isles will have almost as many signed options at third line center next year as they did last year. None. I advocated for some AHL training for Beau, but that wasn’t popular. Now here we are. Val has been great. Way better than expected. They do not have another option ready in Bridgeport. Otto Koivula will get games next year, probably. You can’t rely on him yet. I think Val will be an early July signing after Lou gets to troll the waters a bit. If he lands Matt Duchene they are done. They have the resources to do it.

Post Apocalypse Outlook

All in all I’d say the Islanders came out of this okay. They go into the playoffs with a few new weapons to deploy. They also get to battle test some players with very little or no playoff experience. If they come out of it better players win win. If they win win, then Yes Yes Yes!!!

NHL Trade Deadline 2019: The Aftermath was originally published on islesblogger.com

[spilled-ink-and-paint31]

Wonderful Fuck ups

It started like this

There was this guy. He followed me home from class, mostly because he started talking to me and decided to not stop. I talked back. I didnt want to turn down any potential friends so I stayed optimitic. And it happened again. One night we played card games with my roommate and her friends, the other day we went to an open mic night. He was very much a touchly feely person, and I hadnt had physical contact with anyone in two months. Needless to say I was touch starved. I know myself well enough that if given the chance I become a cuddle slut and an attention whore. So I restrained myself when it came to physical contact, trying not to let on how much a meaningless touch affected me.

One night I kissed him. Honeslty it scared me to. I didnt know if I wanted my last boyfriend to become just another ex in my life story. My ex is my best friend, and we are really close. However, the closeness made me feel like I was cheating in some way, I wasnt but it still felt like it. I was afraid to let myself feel for someone else.

I ghosted him that weekend. I was scares of what I might say. I avoided going to a department picnic becasue I was afraid to see him when I hadnt had any idea what I was doing. I was so afriad to trust someone again. We talked a few times after that, and I made up my mind, but I wanted to be sure about him.

Heads or Tails

I messaged him when I was bored at a friends house. Pleasantly enough, he drove to come get me or to ‘entertain’ me I should say. When he got there I was playing video games with a random guy. He was slightly annoyed. Though, there was something about his anger with me that had me hoping he would wrap his hand around my throat for being teasing and acting bratty. Of course that didnt happen, we ended up driving around for hours though. Picking directions by flipping a coin.

After awhile we stopped using the coin and I started asking questions. Most of them were just random questions. He eventually drove back to my apartment, I didnt want to stop talking. We sat in his car talking more and we started talking about more personal questions. He asked me what I wanted from him. Saying I was testing him to see if I would want to date him sounds psychotic. And I was afraid to say I wanted a relationship. I asked him what he wanted from me, he wanted a relationship. For some reason I could say I wanted the same. I couldnt bring myself to say I want to text him till the odd hours of mornings, or that I want to go on stupid dates and that I wanted him to spend the night as much as possible so I could snuggle him forever.

Instead I said I was using him, manipulating him. I had fucked up, I just didnt realize I wouldnt be able to fix this fuck up.

I can fix this

I wanted to but I couldnt. Thats as simple as this is. I conviced him I didnt want the only thing I had been wanting all summer. I had fucked myself over in a number of ways becasue I was scared.

Welp

Its been some time and I cant convice him that I wanted the same thing as him. That I still do want that. Its torture to go to class everyday and see him. I missed physical affection but I miss it all that much more becasue I know how close I got to it. At the end of every class I hope that he will want to talk, or just grab me and kiss me. Both are nice options in my head, one probably more acceptable than the other in a educational setting.

I cant count the days I’ve fallen asleep wishing I was using him as a pillow, or the times I wished I could go back to the night we were driving around and tell him what I really wanted. I just want to fix this fuck up. But he made it pretty clear he doesnt want it fixed.

[raintheawesomewolf]

I dont know what to do and im scared

So yesterday, my gf picked a fight with that lasted from one town to another. We live in a rural area so going to stores is basically a road trip. Well essentially the fight escalated into us getting home. Silince and then her pressing the issue further, even going as far as to call someone in the middle of our fight. I went to get off the bed, where i was sitting, and she reached out and grabbed me by the throat. I deflected and the fight because physical and her screaming that im abusive and whatnot. As i wanted was to get out and leave and she came at me again with the throat grab this caused me to react further and my memory is a bit haze but then next thing i knew my hand came down open handed on her face. And she punched me in return.

She started bleeding. I was stunned and in shock from the event and she started screaming i was trying to kill her.

Most people who know me know i really hate conflict and suffer from PTSD. I was scared. I wanted to leave. But instead it turned into me panicking about her bleeding as she ran oyt into the streets barefoot screaming i was trying to kill her. Covered in her blood and fending off the pain in my nasal cavity i was trying to help her get the blood to the point a neighbor saw us and asked if we need the police called. At first i was a bit reluctant because i know in these situations i would have been called the aggressor and placed in jail. But i told him yes, his wife dialed 911 and police and EMTS came out.

I wanted to vomit. The amount of blood turned my stomach. EMTS said it was just a nose bleed and she would be fine. They asked if i wanted to be checked out but i declined as i didnt think i was too badly hurt. (Stupid me. I forgot shock and adrenaline can cancel out pain.) I started having a massive panick attack and the officers on scene were really nice and did there best to keep me from mentally shutting down into a fit. They got me talking about kittens and things i like to do.

The asked me if i was calm enough to tell them what happened. I told my side and she told hers.

Police determined her the aggressor in the situation but no one was arrested because A.) No serious injury occured, and B.) We both declined to press charges against each other. But the rest is up to a DA.

From there they asked if i had a safe place to go, and i told them i would contact a friend.

It was then they handed me a purple envoloped with ta small blue pamphlet that says "Crime Victims' Rights" and told us to be safe and call if we(i) needed help.

So after a few minutes we walked home. She is still covered in blood. I still want to vomit. And she is smiling. Playing it off as nothing now. Said she expected this to happen and whatnot.

I lay down and try to think of who i cam call to stay with for the evening and she lays down next to me, still covered in dry blood. Blood is all over the room. And she smiles at me with the empty of emotion look and i got really upset.

I asked her to please go wash her face and she goes and takes a shower. I call the only friend i have near by and ask them if i could come over. I give them a breif explination and they said that i could head over immediately.

So i packed my bag and before i could leave she comes out in a towel, clean of blood and i tell her in an awkward tone that on going to take the officers advice. She looked at me and said "oh you're actually doing that?"

And i responded "yeah i think it would be a good idea for the evening. I need some space to calm down."

To which she tells me that im the only thing she has left in this world and if i leave that she is going to kill herself. So i worm around it with okay well they are already expecting me and it would be rude if i didnt show up after asking a favor so im just going to hang out with them for a little bit and then come back.

She agrees, asked me to pick a small treat up from the store for myself and for her on my way back. I say okay and leave without my go-bag.

Fast forward a bit and i am in my friend's shower scrubbing the blood that has litterally stained itself into my skin and im crying. I am crying in the shower. I kept thinking one of us is going to end up dead. My face hurts bad now. I cant wear my glasses for long as my entire face has become painful to the touch. And i am scrubbing HER blood off my body.

When i get out i ask my friend if i can barrow a shirt because i dont want to wear the blood stained clothing i came to their house in. She gives me a shirt and says i can keep it because it doesnt fit her. I thank her and get dressed. She and her bf take me out and try to have fun with me but the images fro. Early that day keep haunting me.

The blood on the road. On the driveway. In the room. On my boody. The pain in my face as a constant reminder. I have a massice headache two hours into the journey and i just want to fall asleep and forget the day.

I kept thinking about how she screamed. How she ran outside and how she acted two different ways durring and after. Like a coin flip.

I had to go home by then end of it. I also realized i had our kittens' medicine. I was scared.

Today we had to go to the store and i cant touch her. Not because she isnt letting me but when i tried to interact with her... All i see is the blood.. And i want to cry and vomit all over again.

I dont know what to do. I feel trapped and that there isnt a way out of this. If i leave she threatens suicide. If i stay she acts liek everything okay. And that nothing happened. My nose is swollen according to my friend and i was adviced to see a doctor... But she doesnt want me to. She says its just bruising and will go away.

I can wear my glasses a little longer but it still hurts. I have a small bruise on my neck from where she grabbed me and every now and again my voice cracks because of it. My legs are sore. I have claw marks on my arms. I couldnt sleep at all and she is behaving normally. Like nothing traumatic happened.

What. The. Fuck. Do. I. Do?!

I have no where i can move to. Im broke as shit. And i need out i know this. Someone please help. Please. I am terrified that one of us is going to snap and someone is going to end up seriously hurt. I dont like hurting people. I dont. I really dont. And i dont want to fight. So someone please help. This is my only safe platform i can call out to because she isnt on tumblr. She doesnt have one. Please help.