#i had to decline a commission from an old customer because i cant draw anymore and never will again and that felt. awesome | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

fallowtail · 1 month ago

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isn’t it cool that my misery that my only purpose is to hype and support other people in their work and passions while not being capable of doing anything of my own backfired and now i can’t even successfully do that and i declined even further when it’s the only thing people have ever wanted out of me and the only way to actually be friends with people…like fuck man ok i guess

#z #screaming into my hands. realizing you genuinely dont deserve friends because you’re incapable of being one fucking sucks :(#and yet i am selfish and persist #i had to decline a commission from an old customer because i cant draw anymore and never will again and that felt. awesome #everyone always makes this out to be me thinking i have no value past what i can do when its not that at all #its just that i fundamentally do not *want* to be that person. its fucking humiliating to just be nothing #and everyones affection for you is just. like you’re a pet #like i think its perfectly fine and normal to not want that and idk why everyone acts like its self deprecation when its not lol ?? this is #why therapy wont help shit doesnt actually do anything when your problem is material reality

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