#i had thousands of ppl following me on that blog and i just Blasted Shit Out. this acct is much more chill by comparison ;;;

[nocturne-of-illusions]

[cw animal death]

i still get misty eyed over him but. i'm at least glad i can talk about cy again. he was such a sweet and special boy who wanted nothing more than to sit in your lap and purr and nap all day. or sleep in the sun on the windowsill. or lay on my chest and drool on me when he knew i was having a bad health day.

still can't look at photos though... although i think that's bc 1) the only photos of him on my phone that i haven't backed up to my computer are from the months following his onset of symptoms, and You Could Tell He Was Sick, and 2) it makes me miss having someone to cuddle, but i can't really afford to get a new cat rn because of my worsening health ;;;

it'll be a year in 3 weeks. i still miss him -- he kept me going during the roughest parts of my health fuckery -- but now i can properly appreciate the place he had in my life instead of JUST wishing he was still here.