#i had this goofy writer's block of sorts and this is the first thing i wrote when i sat down to fight it i LVOE annIE DARN IT | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

darthmaulification · 3 years

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din djarin nsfw alphabet

A/N: i STILL have writer’s block when it comes to all the other stuff i have to get done that it’s INFURIATING. 🙄😤😡 i literally write two (2) sentences, and then my head says “no thoughts, all done :)”.

so anons still waiting on your stuff, have faith, i will get them done eventually!! 🙏🙏😭😭

but i want to get more stuff out more regularly, so take another nsfw alphabet, my brain is melting. 💗

(again, i imply fem!afab!reader and also, there is sensitive content (abortion) under X)

nsfw below the cut! 😘

A = aftercare (what are they like after sex?)

Din may be a bit unsure at first, but he is so sweet when it comes to aftercare. He’s got a caring nature already, and when it comes to making sure you’re clean, comfortable, and content after sex, Din is very soft and gentle. He’ll be asking you the whole time about what you need, how you’re feeling, complimenting and praising you for being perfect. Once he’s done making sure you’re okay, Din will conclude every time with kisses and cuddles, holding you close to him all the while whispering to you in Basic and Mando’a about how much he loves you.

B = body part (what’s their favorite body part of their partner? what about themselves?)

Honestly, Din has spent so long without showing someone else any part of him, that he is fairly insecure about how he looks. He’s a tad... embarrassed by his body, because he wants it to be perfect for you, but he doesn’t feel like it is (of course, you think he’s perfect). Din has a lot of self-criticisms, he worries that he’s too old for you, that his nose is too big for your liking, that he’s got a soft tummy and not like men your age. So Din doesn’t have a favorite body part, he’ll just like anything that you like.

Now on you... Din is a big fan of your face. He comes from a culture where one’s face is kept hidden unless you’re family or spouse, so to have you in all your glory and beauty is almost overwhelming to him. He loves your eyes especially (windows to the soul, and all), how they’re so expressive, what they look like when he’s fucked you cockdumb... all glossy and hazed... Din also loves your lips in particular too, the smile that tugs them up, what they look like when you say his name... and for another obvious reason that tends to happen when you’re below his belt on your knees...

(Also Din is a boobie man, full stop).

C = cum (basically anything to do with cum)

Din cums a lot, and he wants it all over you. If you let him, he’ll splatter his nut on your face, belly, breasts, ass, and other places that he loves and wants marked. He likes seeing you all messy and sticky, covered in the stuff that he creates just for you. Din goes kinda feral though if you beg him to cum inside you, allow him to bottom out and let loose past your tight cervix straight into your womb... makes his brain fizzle out. Also, Din’s cum tastes abnormally sweet, almost too sugary, much like the sweet man himself.

D = dirty secret (what’s their dirty secret?)

Din wants to be cucked. Like he really wants to watch someone else fuck you (consensually, of course), and him not being able to do anything about it. It’d be such a fucking tease and edge for him that the thought makes him feel some sort of way in his pants.

Also, not so much of a secret but still dirty, Din can play the role of a dom to a T, but in his heart, he’s a sub. Just take the reins on day, there’s not much he’d be compelled to do to stop you.

E = experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Most, if not all, of Din’s sexual experiences before you were clumsy, quick fucks with sex workers at brothels or cantinas. He had most of them when the desire became to high to ignore, so really the closest around satisfied him enough. And although most of the conquests had no specialness or emotion to them, they did shape the way Din moved around bodies, aided in his ability to please and such. So Din is rather experienced, he knows what he’s doing and how to make things steamy, but he’s really never been able to truly connect with someone before. Even though he’s well versed in the art of sex, there’s a few learning curves for him to accomplish, particularly making sure he meets your needs the way you want them met, not how he thinks you may want to do things.

F = favorite position (what’s their favorite position?)

By far, Din loves nothing more but to bend you over a table, or the console board of the Razor Crest, and pound into you from behind like there’s no tomorrow. He loves to have the warmth of your ass, heavy and plush, against his pelvis all while he’s up to the hilt inside your core. Din also likes the control it gives him, having you squirming and moaning under him, one of his hands heavy on your back keeping you down while the other squeezes your thighs and hips, or plays with your clit. Din might also get a bit grabby with your hair, pulling back your head enough so that he can nibble at your neck and hiss all the dirty things he wants into your ear.

The close second for his favorite position though is having you tied up to the bed, wrists and ankles bound. It’s one of Din’s favorite sights in the entire galaxy.

G = goofy (are they the more serious type, or more humorous?)

Din is serious about making sure he’s doing all he can to make you a moaning, cockdumb mess, that’s for damn sure. He’s very driven in that regard, serious about the task at hand and all the things he has to do to make sure you know just how much he loves you. Din isn’t a stoic robot though, he’s too vibrant and compassionate of a man for that, so he’ll being saying sweet things to get you to blush and smile, grinning against the shell of your ear before kissing your neck, maybe nipping playfully at your ass or stomach too... Din knows how to give a good time.

H = hair (how well-groomed are they?)

Din is a functionalist, so he likes to keep his bush below the belt to a minimum, or at least manageable, so he trims it and sometimes shaves it fully. Though he does have a tendency to let it grow a bit if he’s having a dry spell or if he just doesn’t have the motivation... but once the tuft starts catching on the zip to his pants (he goes commando, the dork), that’s when Din knows he’s got to shave. All his body hair elsewhere; head, face, legs, back, arms, etc, Din doesn’t care much about except his moustache and tasteful stubble which he does really like to keep. Of course, Din keeps everything as clean as a whistle.

On his partners, Din doesn’t have much of a preference, but he does lean towards someone who at least keeps their stuff trimmed (and clean, of course). However, he won’t force you to do anything, it’s your body, your decisions.

I = intimacy ( how intimate are they during sex?)

Just... so intimate. Of course, Din fucks like a beast in rut, but he’s so consuming and raw with it, it’s nothing short of perfect. Din wears his heart on his sleeve, so sex is constant “I love yous” in every word and action, even when it’s all vulgarity and dirty and horny, but it’s love nonetheless. You’re able to feel it from how he presses against you, molds against you like liquid heat, how his hands make your body his own, how he kisses you with stars in his eyes, how he tells you over and over again both vocally and silently, “Thank you”.

J = jack off (do they masturbate?)

Mm... it depends on his mood. He masturbated more when he was younger, when he had more time and drive to do so. Though once he got older, and life happened, and he’s almost non-stop running around chasing quarries... Din’s just too darn tired. It got even less so when Grogu came into his life, because oh my Maker the horror Din would feel if somehow his son caught him in the act. But Din is only human, and has that accursed Mandalorian sex drive, so sometimes the urge does rear it’s head, and he’s gotta make his hand and penis best friends again.

Doesn’t help when you’re occupying his thoughts either.

K = kinks (any kinks?)

Y’know that cliché where it’s like “normal looking person whose an absolute freak in the sheets”? Yeah, that’s Din. This man is the epitome of that. Here’s his kinks:

Bondage. Din really likes the sight of you tied up on the bed, at his mercy like a bunny in a hunter’s trap. He wants to have you bound by your wrists and ankles, maybe even tying you to the bedposts, and fucking you senseless while you beg to be able to touch him too. Din favors using handcuffs (technically binders, but Star Wars lingo is silly sometimes), but he’ll use whatever you’re okay with too. And, of course, if bondage isn’t your thing, he won’t ever force you to do it. (psst, Din doesn’t mind being tied up either)

Spanking. Kind of the only aspect of the “S” part of BDSM that Din will every really partake in. He likes landing a good few firm swats on your flanks, likes seeing your ass and thighs jiggle from the force of it, the bright flush that may appear afterwards if you let him go at it a while. Din also likes just being able to touch your ass too, so a nice spank to your bottom becomes the physical message of “You’re in for it tonight, mesh’la”. Oh, and he’ll make you count.

Daddy kink. Oh Maker, if you call him Daddy, he’ll lose his mind. Din has such a big Daddy kink that even if you call him it in a nonsexual situation, he’ll be feeling that warmth until he’s able to steal you away and rail you good. He loves being the Daddy and you being his “Sweet girl” or “Cyar’ika”... the dynamic runs him wild.

Breeding/pregnancy kink. Din wants to fuck a baby into you so badly he dreams about it. It’s been impounded into him that family and parenthood are really big deals, so you bet your ass he wants to fulfill that part of his Creed by making sure your pussy’s stuffed, womb is filled to the brim, and your breasts are swollen and milky. Din wants so so deeply to see you pregnant with the kid that you and him make, he desperately wants a family with you.

Breast/nipple kink. Yeah, Din really really likes your tits. There’s something about the shape, the texture, size, weight, etc that activates some primal monkey part of his brain that has him drooling. Din loves to knead and fondle your breasts, roll them under his large hands, press them together, watch the soft flesh squish and mold around his fingers. He especially loves the cute nipples of yours, pinching them between his fingers, tweaking them. Din also really likes sucking on your tits, leaving marks all over them, playing with your nipples with his tongue...

L = location (favorite place to “do the do”?)

When you both have the opportunity, Din really really likes taking you in a good, proper bedroom, something that the uncomfortable, tiny bunk on the Razor Crest really doesn’t account for. If it were up to him, he’d want to spend his entire life with you in bedroom fit for a king, taking you over and over again on a mattress that feels like a cloud. It’s no shock then whenever Din actually shills out the credits (being the frugal man he is) to buy a hotel room is the sex borderline godlike.

M = motivation (what gets them turned on?)

A sure-fire way to get Din fully and completely riled up would be to wear something real scandalous. Be that a shirt that shows a tad bit more, or pants that are tight enough to reveal you aren’t wearing panties, or (Din’s favorite) a set of cute lingerie... Din will get hard in his pants. It’d be even more so if you tease him in public, but be warned he’ll fuck you mean for that.

N = NO (what’s their turn offs?)

Very early on, it was, obviously, taking off his helmet. If you asked, or Maker forbid tried, the mood would drop pretty extensively if not entirely from Din. He’d get uncomfortable, go silent, and the first time it happened, he left the room. Removal of the helmet was a very big one before he eventually showed you his face.

After you’ve been able to kiss his face over and over again and cry because you think he’s so beautiful? Nothing comes to Din’s mind really besides the kinks that are... nastier. Like literally, y’know... some other bodily... stuffs. Anyways, Din is pretty adaptable when it comes to kinks/positions and stuff. The pros of already being a kinky man...

O = oral (do they have a preference in giving/receiving?)

Okay, Din really loves his dick sucked. The way that you wrap your lips around his shaft, kiss the tip of his penis, fondle his balls, lick and slobber on him... makes his eyes roll to the back of his head. He especially loves being able to watch you try and take all of him in your throat, seeing the tears of pleasure squeeze out your eyes, the way you hollow your cheeks around him and suck. Din loves it when you go down on him.

... Now that doesn’t mean he doesn’t like going down on you. There is no place Din would want to be more than with his face between your legs, lapping at you like a starving animal. He’ll spend hours with his mouth on your cunt, swirling his tongue around your clit, driving orgasm after orgasm from you until you’re shaking from overstimulation and begging him to stop. Din loves your pussy, the way you taste and smell... drives him wild.

P = pace & PDA (are they soft, sensual, rough, or feral? are they open to displaying the relationship?)

Din will most often rail you into the mattress with a fervor. He tends to fuck hard, and he likes to play rough. The pace he keeps is something that makes you see stars every time he thrusts, when he ruts into you so hard that your entire body moves. However, Din does this all with a type of passionate sensuality that leaves you in tears, he fucks you sure, but it’s also fully fueled by unwavering love. When he’s feeling especially sentimental, Din will indulge on this love, and he’ll go slower, deeper, make you feel nothing but the weight of him.

And PDA... Well, Din doesn’t take the helmet or beskar off in public, so PDA is every time Din steps in front of you to shield you protectively, it’s when he offers to carry whatever you’re holding, it’s when he fights for you, it’s when he stands close to your side, when he sends you long side-eyed glances that make you feel the love, it’s when he nudges your shoulder with his, when he lets you wrap your fingers around his, when he drapes you with his cloak, surrounding you with him... It’s the little, subtle things, the personal things that mean you’re closer to him than anyone else.

Q = quickies (what’s their opinion on quickies?)

Maker, yes. Din becomes kinda addicted to having sex with you, so any and all chance to pull down his and yours pants and rut you both into a quick release is perfect for him. They don’t happen all that often, you’re both too busy most of the time, but if there’s a window of opportunity, Din will take it.

R = risks (are they okay with experimenting? do they take risks?)

Din’s kinda a big baby, so anything you may want to try with him in the bedroom that’s out of the norm will have him a stuttering, blushing mess. Most of the time though, once you’ve explained whatever you’re wanting enough, he’ll be down to do it because he knows you’re fine with it, and so is he. Though Din has his limits, a few things in particular that he’d never risk: safety and his Creed. He won’t ever try something that would potentially put the both of you in mortal danger, and wouldn’t do something that breaks his Code. Other than that, Din does enjoy pushing the boundaries a little once you’ve started, and he might even become more advantageous.

S = stamina (how many rounds can they last?)

Din can last long enough, that’s for sure. He’s not borderline superhuman like some other men, but Din doesn’t tap out early either. With the skill he has with his hands, he’s easily able to make you cum a couple times before he dicks you down, and sometimes he’s even able to draw out an orgasm or two when he’s balls deep inside you. It all usually depends on his energy level, if he’s pumped up and well rested, expect a long, long night, but if he’s so tired he can barely keep his eyes open, honestly he might just cum if you jerk him off a little bit.

Though sleepy sex with Din, although it’s very short, is also a bit of an exercise in absolute trust with him. He’s able to fall asleep in your arms, all worn out and buzzing from his orgasm, it makes him feel fully at peace.

T = toys (do they own/use any toys?)

Haha, no. Din is such a minimalist, he didn’t own any type of luxury like that, unless you count the handcuffs, but he technically uses those for his job. It really is he just doesn’t have the space nor the credits he’s willing to spare, and he didn’t have a partner before you so really it would’ve been pointless for him. But now that he’s got you in his life (and bed)? Yeah, Din might splurge a little bit and buy some things to make your romps a bit more... interesting. Be that a vibrator, some silky rope, a plug... just some fun things.

U = unfair (how much do they like to tease?)

He likes to tease, because edging you edges him and that satiates the deep-rooted sub inside of him. Din likes to have you begging for release just as much as he likes the feeling of his cock practically screaming to sink into your velvety core. The teasing really goes both ways, even if Din is the one who’s technically doing all of it. He also gets really into dirty talk (for as long as he can actually speak) and will be saying all sorts of nasty things in your ear like “C’mon, cyar’ika, tell me you want my fingers” or “Pretty girl, use your words. You want my cock or no?”.

V = volume (how loud or quiet are they during sex?)

Din is loud, but in a quiet type of way? He like... whisper yells, like his voice is already naturally low, so when he’s got you all in his grasps it’s like the volume of his voice doesn’t increase, but the intensity does? Din fills the room, essentially, being the only thing you hear, even over your own moans, squeals, screams, etc. It’s mostly a lot of strained dirty talk, like each word Din says to you is determined, but he’s got to push them through clenched teeth because his dick’s twitching so hard and your pussy is just too good... and shit, once you’ve drawn the first moan out of him, it’s over for him. Din will be moaning. Once he’s lost in the sauce, which happens sorta quickly, Din becomes just as incoherent as you, maybe being able to babble out something about seeing you fat with child or maybe about how well you’re swallowing up his cock, but it really devolves into lengthy, horny moans and hefty grunts. So yes, our man’s is loud.

W = wildcard (what’s a random headcanon?)

Din loves when you tell him how much you think he’s attractive. He’s spent basically his whole life with his face in a bucket and his body in armor, so he’s never gotten compliments about his authentic self before. This kind of hampered his self-confidence and racked up his insecurity? Din doesn’t necessarily have any specific qualms with how he looks, but he also is very unsure of how you think of him. So when you tell him that you love his face; his crooked, hooked nose, his soft, honey brown eyes, his patchy stubble, and even his ridiculous moustache... it makes his heart soar.

This same sentiment goes for his body too, which Din does have a couple of more prominent issues with. For one, he’s a tad soft around the middle (age + indulging himself + taking excessive off days = weight gain) which makes him feel semi-insecure about what you may think when you don’t see chiseled, perfect abs, and he’s just generally self-conscious about his age. But when you’re fine with it? When you say you find his chub endearing?? That he’s really not that old and that he shouldn’t worry about it??? Din is beyond happy.

And in a complete 180, Din has a very high sperm count. Like astronomically high. A medical marvel type of high. So... if you indulge on his desire for a big family... expect a lot of little Djarin brats really fast.

X = x-ray & x-tra (what’s underneath those clothes? any more random headcanons?”)

Din is built like a himbo. He’s built like he’d ask you what pussy size do you wear when he buys pads for you. He’s built like the dude that comes into the store you work at every so often who’s just so captivating and out of this world handsome that you stare at him as he looks at the same thing he always does, until he leaves after not buying it for the third week in a row. He has a very good figure, muscular in all the right places from a lifetime of brutal physical activity. Din’s arms and shoulders are probably his best feature, the entirety of the appendages being toned with taut, powerful muscle and perfect for holding you. His chest is quite toned as well, though his pecs are softer and have a smattering of chest hair brushed on the muscles. Although he has a relatively trim waist and a defined Adonis belt, Din’s belly is actually pretty soft. He’s like a muscular boy, but with a bit more chub (if anyone gets that reference, you’re extra sexy), so Din doesn’t have a defined set of abs. He does have a dark happy trail that leads to the special someone between his thick-muscled thighs.

He also, from time and age, has a bit of a weathered look to him that makes him look experienced and jaded. His body also has a smattering of scars, most of them old and silvered, from scuffles and fights he’s had in his past.

Big Dick Cum Daddy Din is hung. His penis is a mouth-watering 9 inches (22.86 cm) of throbbing glory, not overly girthy (2 inches, 5.08 cm, in width) but perfect nonetheless. He has a very prominent vein on the bell end of his cock, as well as fairly defined ridges on the sides, like he’s fucking ribbed for your pleasure. His penis is actually circumcised, so the head of his cock gets especially red once you’ve got all the blood and horniness in his loins. Din’s balls are perfect too, weighty things that hang a bit lower that only shows their virility.

Din is pro-choice. He’s a firm believer in people having autonomy over their bodies and having the ability to choose. So when it comes to abortion, even though the thought admittedly makes Din a little uncomfortable, he would fully support his partner choosing to have one, if that was their decision.

Also, Din is a bisexual icon, I don’t make the rules.

Y = yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Yes. Ever since you come into his life, Din is horny like a teen boy all over again, it’s almost ridiculous. At the very beginning, it’s just a lot of him fantasizing about what he wants to do to you, because A) you’ve both just met, B) his Creed, and C) it’d be so embarrassing for him for you to find out how much you affect him. But once you two start getting closer, and spend weeks and months dancing around each other, Din starts to get a bit more flirty, more frisky. You definitely start noticing how much he’s wanting you, so really it comes to the point that at any time you reciprocate your feelings and consent, Din will be on you in a second. After that first time, it’s over for y’all. Din will want to fuck all the time, everywhere, whenever possible. Your pussy becomes his dick’s permanent home.

Z = zzzz (how fast do they fall asleep after?)

Din isn’t an easy sleeper in general, so after sex it’s really not much different. It always takes a while for him to fall asleep, so you’ll definitely be passed out before he even starts to feel tired. He’ll spend most of his time after making sure you’re taken care of with his exquisite aftercare, and then mumble sweet nothings to you as you fall asleep. Even after you’re out, Din will still lie awake and talk to you quietly about anything and everything that comes to mind before he eventually falls asleep too.

#star wars #star wars din djarin #the mandalorian #din djarin x reader #din djarin x you

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japes-the-clown · 3 years

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THE SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS MOVIE: AN INVERSION ON “COMING OF AGE” FILMS AND A CRITICISM OF ADULTHOOD

Hi hello hey it’s me Jericho Jay “Japes” Marshall out here with a pretentious love letter to the filmmaking on display in nickelodeons The Spongebob Movie. Yes, I know it’s a kids movie. Yes, I know it’s not that deep. But I’m majoring in english, and deeply depressed, so I need to get this OUT and onto a PAGE.

I have watched this film many times over my lifetime, a few when i was just a kid, then in my early teens, even when i turned eighteen, and now, a month before i turn 20. Every time, I grow a new appreciation for the nuances that this movie brings to the table, and on my most recent watch my own deliverance from childhood makes me relate to the core themes the hardest I ever have. The Spongebob Movie isn’t just a movie about childhood, but a movie about adulthood.

Today, I’m going to make clear exactly how The Spongebob Squarepants Movie criticizes our understanding of adulthood and how society treats the neurodivergent, while effectively turning the “Coming of Age” genre on its head, within its 87 minute runtime.

START: CONSISTENT CHARACTERIZATION

One thing a lot of films (ESPECIALLY kids films) fail to nail is consistently showing aspects of a character throughout the runtime, enough that changes to a character feel impactful and justified instead of rushed and stifled. The best examples of movies that fail to do this are often the marvel movies that people tend to not remember- the first two thor movies, the avengers age of ultron, etc. In these movies, characters certainly have traits, but their personalities and motives can be very weak and make dramatic changes feel A LOT less dramatic. This can be seen in age of ultron, when quicksilver gave his own life to save someone else, which felt like nothing because he wasn't well developed. He wasn't particularly endearing, nor did him sacrificing his life contradict a part of his character. It felt very much like the writers trying to say "Look, this character which was once opposing the avengers, is now dying for one. Please cry." No hate to the writers of Age of Ultron, but it proves itself often to be an unmemorable part of the catalogue.

In the Spongebob Movie, the characterization is ON. POINT. After the introduction, with the pirates rushing in to watch spongebob, we get so much information regarding spongebob as a character.

Pictured: Spongebob holding a piece of cheese like an operator

The first scene of the plot is a dream sequence a large crowded scene at the Krusty Krab, with a customer not receiving cheese on his patty, and it being positioned in the same way as a bomb being located. In the dream, everyone is panicked, and Mr. Krabs is visibly distressed, almost like a damsel. Spongebob comes in, announcing his position as manager, much to the relief of Krabs. He goes in, and puts cheese on the burger (again, very akin to a bomb defusal scene), bringing the perturbed customer out safe and sound. Everyone lifts spongebob up as a hero, which is interrupted by his boat alarm.

This scene is JAM PACKED with stuff that both introduces the character to new watchers and introduces the crux of his arc to everyone else. Spongebob of course is very fond of the Krusty Krab, and wants to be the manager- he wants people to see him as cool, and as a responsible adult. He wants to be the sort of person that can be trusted with big responsibilities. And we also see, most importantly, that he is extremely childish through his faximile of what it meant to be adult. Everything is scaled up; it's a very silly situation, which well suits both the joke and his character as an inexperienced kid. This is one of the most direct ways to convey someone's character, because a dream can be interpreted as a direct port into a character's desires. This being the first introduction to the character in the movie sets the tone for EVERY following situation.

In the next few scenes you see Spongebob's real life, which involves his lengthy morning routine; his life is sort of whimsical, and so too is his routine. He showers by shoving a hose into himself till he bursts with water, he uses toothpaste to clean his eyes but not his teeth, and he puts on pants which he must fold to make. Again, all pretty solid jokes, but also very telling about his outlook. He is funny, weird, and childish, which is juxtaposed by the scene where he's- he's uh- showering with squidward. Squidward is an example of the "adult" that spongebob isn't. This has always been the case, but here his normal routine makes it very clear that other people in this world aren't like spongebob. They shower normally, they brush their teeth, they put their clothes on like normal. Spongebob's world is one of wonder and without responsibility, which makes it questionable as to whether he could handle one.

Pictured: Spongebob's room, adorned with childhood imagery

Pictured: Spongebob celebrating his position as a manager, despite Krabs saying that it was squidward who got it

Even his room in this scene screams "kid". He has toys strewn about, glow in the dark stars, and pictures of superheroes on the wall. He even says "Sorry about this calendar" as he rips a page, personifying inanimate objects as a kid would. The movie is telling you, "THIS CHARACTER IS A KID", but in a way that's masked because it's also just a set up for jokes. It's done so well, in my opinion, that it would go over your head because from your perspective you would be laughing along as spongebob did his wacky antics.

On top of that, his excitement for his assured managerial position at the Krusty Krab 2 continues to be bolstered. He marked it off with a cute drawing on his calendar, for those familiar he changes his normal "I'm ready" chant to "I'm ready- promotion-", and he's even already set up a party to celebrate at his favorite chain, Goofy Goobers, a child's entertainment restaurant similar to chucky cheese, albeit replacing pizza for ice cream. He hasn't just gotten excited, but has this childish anticipation for something which isn't even assured.

Spongebob arrives at the opening of the Krusty Krab 2, where he is so excited he can't contain his glee. He breaks the silence and makes members of the crowd uncomfortable, reinforcing again that spongebob is a standout in a world of adults, and a kid who doesn't understand certain social norms, which society looks down upon. When Krabs reveals that Squidward got the managerial position, Spongebob hyped himself so much that he starts celebrating, not even noticing that he wasn't picked. He gets on stage, and begins to give a speech, to which Krabs interrupts.

The next part I think best illustrates Spongebob's clear ignorance to society: Krabs attempts to subtly tell spongebob that he isn't getting the job, but spongebob repeats everything he says into the microphone. Again, fantastic joke, grade A, but the amount this shows how invested spongebob was. He already saw himself as an adult, someone who everyone would look up to as a manager- he could take the responsibility, and isn't aware of everyone likely cringing in the audience. This is the natural step for him in his mind, especially because of his exemplary work which had been previously celebrated through employee of the month awards. This was not an option for him. There wasn't a world in his mind where he would be outclassed by squidward.

Krabs has to break to him that he lacks responsibility, and that his childishness makes it difficult for Krabs to give him such a job. This might seem harsh, but I think the intro again shows how Spongebob saw the job; he didn't understand what it would be like, fantasizing another level in the menial work structure to be an amazing adventure of a job. People in the crowd reaffirm that in the eyes of society, spongebob is just a kid, a goofball. In my eyes, this is a story not just of childhood, but of neurodivergence. Spongebob isn't normal, and is blocked by society for his ignorance of social norms and sunny disposition. He finds things fun that other people can not, and he places values in completely different things. So he is blocked from the meaningful recognition he desired, despite the obvious evidence of his commitment.

I think this is a mighty interesting dichotomy!!! Simultaneously, spongebob's understanding of the world truly is warped, often resulting in a lack of consideration for others as well as harm for himself when things don't go his way, AND he is a good worker which puts in MANY hours of work without so much of a complaint. This is COMPLEX. You have to ask yourself, as a viewer, "would I give spongebob the job?" The answer can be different and can be REASONED.

And that's JUST spongebob! There are other characters with characterization that mixes into the themes of the movie very well, but I'm going to bring up any related points in future sections.

Okay, Okay. So now you're saying "WOW OKAY GREAT so why does any of this matter?" I'm so glad you asked. VERY glad.

2: THE BREAKING OF A YOUNG MAN'S SPIRIT

THIS is the point of the movie. The obstacle in this movie truly isn't adulthood, but instead self doubt. Spongebob's whole world is turned upside down by Krab's rejection of his basic personality. Spongebob asks himself: is it REALLY okay to be who I am? Am I an adult? Is the world fair? One of the most shocking scenes in the movie is blended so well in tone with the rest that you don't really notice; spongebob eating ice cream to cope with his disappointment, akin to that of adults drinking alcohol, and appearing to be visually "drunk" and washed up. This is BRILLIANT, and a recurring theme, where the true line between adult and childhood becomes blurry and impossible to see. Spongebob, the representation of a kid, gets hungover, spiteful, and angry about the injustice of his situation. This is often how adults act in the fact of adversity, but what's funny is that this too is how a kid would act; getting angry and overindulging, feeling entitled and acting socially immature when he didn't get what he wanted. He walks in to the Krusty Krab literally just to shit talk Krabs. And it doesn't stop there.

Pictured: Plankton finding "Plan Z" and looking at it like a centerfold in a playboy magazine

Almost every character in this movie juxtaposes another, again smearing the line of what it means to be an adult. For example, Spongebob and Plankton are polar opposites; plankton is cold and vengeful, angry at the world around him, and spongebob is a happy person who tends not to take things personally, a friend to all. In planktons first appearances in the movie, he is portrayed with clear adult themes, mocking spongebob, making pinup jokes about plan z, and living in a fairly dark and grey space. But, as the story moves along, we see many similarities; both spongebob and plankton are fairly one track minded, and when spongebob's perception is broken he himself gets a little vengeful. When eugene is put in danger over this, though, we do see that he places the lives of others over his own wants. And, even at the end of the movie, we see their similarities. Plankton reuses the "Sorry Calendar" joke that spongebob used at the start of the movie, drawing another line of what it means to be an adult. Is it childish of plankton to say that? Is the inherent irony he has impactful here? His want for something that isn't his, and his disregard for others in pursuing it feels just like how a younger child may steal the toy of another, without understanding what it means to share.

Pictured: Neptune flipping his shit at his lost crown

Then, there's the character of Neptune. Neptune is a big man baby. He rules the entire land, commands the most respect, and is considered the most powerful person under the sea, and yet, we see that he gets overprotective of his property, prepared to execute anyone who even annoys him. Throughout the film, he's obsessed with chasing an image of youth, as he is bald, and ignores the suffering of the people on bikini bottom to make sure no one sees his bald head. He throws what's equivalent to a tantrum when he finds his crown is missing, and believes a very crude note written by plankton saying that it was eugene who stole it. His character is an "acceptable" child because he's in a position of power, where spongebob is an "unacceptable" child as he is just a working class member of society. And the funniest part is, that he mocks spongebob for wanting to go for the crown, when even he, the strongest person in bikini bottom, refuses to go out of fear.

We see that these "bastions" of adulthood, plankton and neptune, are the ones who are responsible for missteps of society; we're ALL children in the long run, but the strict enforcement of a perceived true adulthood creates a space where they can act immaturely yet those under them/around them cannot. Dennis makes this case even more, as the only thing he does in this movie is hurt others. There's only one thing that seems to truly denote adulthood, and it's cruelty.

Even squidward, the adult that is supposed to be more responsible that spongebob, refuses to go on the quest to retrieve the crown, as he acts mostly in self interest, even later claiming to only care that plankton was stealing the secret formula as it was hurting his own paycheck.

Spongebob is the only one willing to go, willing to defend the man who wronged him, willing to value life over his own interests. He is both child and adult, just as the adults are too children.

As he moves through the plot of this film, he becomes less confident in his disposition, with his naivete causing moments like him and patrick crossing the state line and immediately getting carjacked, or them being put into an uncomfortable situation by all the bubbles they blew when they tried to get their car back. His bright personality is questioned constantly: Only five days to shell city? BY CAR. This is man's country. But weren't we the double bubble blowing babies?

Pictured: Spongebob caught trying to take back the key to the patty wagon when patrick fails to distract everyone

This is made more obvious to him as patrick remains oblivious throughout; patrick is a mirror for him, that acts as a childhood constant, that makes it clearer for him every day the draws of his childishness. There's the moment in the club where patrick's distraction was poorly thought out, and only because he said he wanted to do it adamantly, there's the moment where patrick challenged neptune on how many days they would have to do it, which served no purpose but for his own fun, there's the moment patrick points out the free ice cream trap- he is the unemployed uncritical lens that spongebob is afraid he is.

So everything's fucked, and anyone who is childish is bad i guess!!!

But that isn't so,

3: The illusion of manhood

So we've talked about spongebob's characterization as a naive child, how this is impactful in his transformation into someone who is anxious about that aspect of his personality, and how the society around him is hypocritical in it's own immaturity. But where does this all come together?

Pictured: Planktons dystopian world, which Mindy shows Spongebob and Patrick

It's at spongebob and patricks "conversion to manhood". At his lowest point, spongebob becomes a squidward- he becomes critical of his AND patricks interests, and regards them as childish, deciding that this means that they can't make it to shell city, as it requires them to be adults. When mindy shows them the dire situation back home, she hopes that spongebob's sunny personality and care for others would shine through, but instead he turns to what society has been telling him; it's impossible. He can't do it, he's just a little kid, and there is no point to any of this as he'll fail regardless.

Thinking about it like this, it truly is one of the darkest points in the entire series; spongebob just openly admitted that there was nothing he could do, that all of his friends were goners because he was effectively useless.

Mindy comes up with an idea; she'll trick spongebob and patrick into believing they're men; she convinces them of mermaid magic (their innocence allowing them to believe) and uses kelp to make them think they've matured into adults. Notice that physical modifiers being the only key to this "fake adulthood". With this, they jump off a cliff because they believe that with adulthood, they are invincible.

This is really telling about how the society they're in thinks of being an adult, and relays that to children. There's another level, a distinct separation between spongebob and adulthood, which seemed like the difference between a squire and a knight- being an adult means that you aren't weak anymore (as though he was weak in the first place), and thus you can do things you never thought before. Is it truly healthy that this is how a society tells kids that adulthood is like, for them to enter the world and feel a truly awful financial and literal hellscape waiting for them? uh, you can, you can decide that for yourself i think.

Nonetheless, they survive the fall, and conclude that they really are invincible, able to power through a ravine with their happy go lucky attitude, eventually befriending the monsters which were once trying to kill them. They weren't acting like adults, but the labels themselves made it possible for them to soldier on with the childlike disposition they had. I find that to be powerful. If we were able to be more hopeful as adults, and power through the worst things brightly, could we do great things? Idk but these depression meds sure do taste good nom nom

After crossing the ravine, spongebob and patrick meet dennis, and have their worldview crushed as it's revealed that they are actually still kids. Dennis being the "alpha male" that he is, is characterized by violence and a lack of morality. The pair are saved by a giant boot, which is the first of two humans in this movie. Spongebob and patrick are both taken by the man in the diver suit, as we fade to black, marking the end of their illusion of adulthood.

4: Back from the Edge (of death)

Spongebob and Patrick awaken in an antique shop, realizing that they were surrounded by fish that had been killed specifically for sale as tacky antiques. They are lifted out of their fishbowl, and put under a heatlamp, as their fate is sealed to become a member among those dead fish. In spongebob's final moments, he mourns his inability to be an adult, as well as to reach shell city; but before they both die, patrick points out that they truly did reach shell city, as the crown was within their reach.

This. This is a phenomenal scene. Why? Because of what it means for spongebob's arc.

Pictured: Spongebob and Patrick on their deathbeds, finding happiness

He sees the crown, and realizes that, unequivocally, that even if he didn't bring the crown back, he made it to shell city. Every person he met told him that he couldn't even do that. and he did it. He is a kid, yes, but he's a kid who went where not even NEPTUNE dared go. Everything people said about him, about how him being a kid stopped him from success, was suddenly shattered. He has been asking himself if it's okay that he is a kid, and he saw, unambiguously, that it is. He is allowed to be happy. He can enjoy things that other people don't. He can be naive. He can be himself, no matter what anyone says. And so can you. Great things can be done by people who are "childish", who are "naive", who are kind without expecting a return, all of it. YOU are okay. Your stims are okay, your comfort series are okay, your interest in tropes are okay, YOU'RE OKAY!!!!

with that, spongebob and patrick are dehydrated on the table, and ostensibly die, the kids that they are, shedding one final tear each, forming a heart beneath them.

...

Miraculously, the tear electrocutes that lamp at it's socket, causing smoke to rise and set off the sprinklers, rehydrating the pair, and bringing them back to life. The "Man in the Suit" attempts to capture them, seeing them about to lift Neptune's crown, but the rest of the dehydrated fish come back to life- squirting him with his own glue and beating him to the ground, as spongebob and patrick run out with the crown. David Hasselhoff offers them a ride back to Bikini Bottom, and the pair begin their ride back.

5: The confrontation of Adulthood and Childhood

Pictured: Dennis looking all lame and shit

As spongebob and patrick are being swam back to bikini bottom, the boot under which dennis was crushed rockets to Hasselhoff, spitting him back out to finish the job. The appearance of Dennis, IN MY OPINION, makes him look rather goofy, with his broken glasses making him look more like a office worker than a badass assassin as he attempts to kill spongebob and patrick. Spongebob, in trying to reason with him, is able to ruin his eyes with bubbles, and then survives as dennis gets hit by a raised platform which spongebob and patrick are too low to be hit by.

Having defeated one representation of adulthood, spongebob and patrick are shot down by HasselHoffs MASSIVE MAN TITS with the crown in order to prevent Krab's fate, blocking Neptune's lazer just in time as they crash in.

All seems to be well, but plankton uses one of his mind control helmets (which we'll be getting into later) to enslave even Neptune, putting mindy, spongebob, patrick, and Krabs against the wall.

In another stark moment of characterization, Spongebob tells patrick that "Plankton Cheated", which prompts plankton to tell spongebob that the situation wasn't a kiddy game, and that it was the real world. This sort of distinctions in their ethos tell you how spongebob interacts with justice; he believes in "playing fair", while plankton is bitter and believes in getting what he wants.

Finally, the apex to our plot, is a musical number. Spongebob begins to make a long-winded speech, where he takes ownership of every label he was called as he stood on the stage at the beginning, the similarity between the two events being clear (holding a microphone at an inappropriate time, making a speech as he blocks out input from an adult trying to talk him down). Spongebob then busts out into the film's rendition of Twisted Sister's "I Wanna Rock", "I'm a Goofy Goober". This results in spongebob reversing plankton's whole plot with "the power of rock and roll". Plankton is made powerless, and thrown into a little padded cell.

The final scene in the movie has Mr. Krabs freed from his imprisonment in ice, and spongebob is offered squidwards position as manager of the second Krusty Krab. He seems hesitant, and squidward offers an insightful analysis of what spongebob might be feeling (the typical analysis of a coming of age movie, where the protagonist finds out that what they wanted all along is not what they wanted, but it was what was inside all along). Spongebob refutes that squidwards fly was just down, and GLADLY accepts the job.

AND THAT'S THE MOVIE

6: AN INVERSION ON THE COMING OF AGE GENRE

A coming of age story tends to be one which is focus on the growth of a character from childhood to adulthood, asking questions about what it means to be an adult. A character reaches for their perceived adulthood, and realizes what it means to ACTUALLY be an adult, typically juxtaposing what people think (drugs, parties, sex) versus what the movie postures as the correct adulthood (responsibility). In this, I think that the spongebob movie directly criticizes the position of what "an adult" is, in the sense of how someone acts.

Like we discussed in part 2, every adult character in this movie tends to be very childish in themselves, unable to see through simple ruses, and often very possessive of personal property. I don't think we actually see a child in this movie as a speaker at any point, only really as background characters (in goofy goobers to solidify spongebob as childish, and I believe in the chum bucket as they're lead to an unsafe place by their parents, who are supposed to be responsible). Thus, what is mostly examined is how adulthood and childhood is a very thin line. Squidward, for example, going directly to plankton to accuse him of stealing the formula, instead of taking it to the top immediately, which would have ended this whole thing fairly quickly; that was rather silly, and was the fruit of his need to assert himself as an adult.

Spongebob goes through this movie FIRST not caring much about whether or not he was an adult, and it is only after the social pressure from adults does he start to chase it. He then chases his perceived image of an adult, going on an adventure, and is crushed by the fact that he isn't an adult. Instead of finding what an adult is, he instead becomes comfortable with his existence as a child, finding himself at the end of the movie able to comfortably chase after an ideal again, where in a normal movie he would humbly reject the job he was offered.

This is, truly, what we should all take from this film. Spongebob realizes that people who aren't necessarily socially adjusted or acceptable can do great things, regardless of what the people around them say, especially because the people around them are liable to throw tantrums and be actively harmful to society. He is allowed to find comfort in childish things, and to be naive, because the world needs more people willing to help others. It's a scathing criticism on the imposed adulthood that exists in a lot of coming of age films, which begs us to drop fun in the interest of doing the right thing, as though those two ideas are contradictory.

BONUS: EXTRA STUFF THAT I LIKED

The goofy goober song became really good storytelling, at first marking childishness, then marking a level of discomfort and judgement in the club, then marking spongebob recognizing that his happiness came from what he liked and not some vague idea of adulthood, and finally marking his full acceptance of his childishness, taking the form of rock, the music of rebellion. It's not as subtle as leitmotifs, but it works really well in how the same song can give very different feelings throughout, and inform how we interact with a story.

There are a lot more examples of adults being pressured into childishness, with the connected twins who liked goofy goober at the club, who were beaten senseless for absolutely no reason, which highlights the way that the society hurts people that, by all means, are just as much adults as anyone else. There's of course Plankton's helmets which created a society of people who simply slaved away with nothing to say, taking life as it came and listening to authority.

On top of that, this movie is PRETTY ANTICAPITALIST AND ANTIMONARCHY, despite those things being allowed to continue to exist at the end- monarchy is seen misusing power constantly and often for unfounded reasons, and Spongebob's diligence at work is rejected by a penny pinching Krabs, who cares only about money. Like, THE KRUSTY KRABS ARE RIGHT NEXT TO EACH OTHER? THAT IS SOME MONTY PYTHON ASS SHIT. This year is the first year i laughed at that joke, because it's really some "capitalists are fucking dumb as shit" humor that slipped over my head when i was a kid. The villain literally being defeated by Rock and Roll, which was sung with a message against the oppression of differences in people? Yeah, I think the spongebob movie hated rich mother fuckers.

END: UH YEAH THAT'S WHAT IT IS

So yeah. The movie is good I think. There's a lot more i could go into, but I've been writing this post for hours and at this point i haven't even read it so...

I recommend going back and giving this film a rewatch!!! Pay attention to all the moments where adults act like children/kids act like adults, because it'll make ur brain pop like a zit. Anyways that's me, I'm Jericho Jay "Japes" Marshall, and I HATE facism.

#spongebob #spongebon squarepants #analysis #film #good movie #marvel #avengers age of ultron #funny

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sirrwritesalots · 4 years

Text

Dance With Me? ~ Spencer Reid (fluff)

Pairings: Spencer Reid x Reader [Y/n] Warnings: none, just fluff, and possibly mention of PG-13 (if it's even considered that?) Summary: The team is invited to an FBI gala-type event with food, music, and casual conversation, and everyone ultimately has a good time, especially you and Spencer, who find the chance to have a dance with one another as the air shifts between the two of you. [The imagine is set with all characters -Spencer Reid, Derek Morgan, Emily Prentiss, Jennifer Jareau, Aaron Hotchner, David Rossi, Penelope Garcia- and post-Maeve] Word Count: 1871 A/N: I love to write, but for the last few years, I’ve had horrible writer’s block, and I miss writing so much. This is my first imagine/creative writing thing I’ve posted on Tumblr, so bare with me please! I recently started watching Criminal Minds again, and this just popped into my head, so I figured why not? Though, Criminal Minds is not usually my genre, I wanted to give it a try (it might be cringy in some parts, I apologize). I hope whoever reads this enjoys it :)

Seeing as everyone on the BAU team was given a three-day-weekend off to have somewhat of a break, you all agreed to attend the FBI Ball Saturday night, giving you the day to relax and get ready.

That morning after you woke up, you had some breakfast and read a book by the window, followed by lunch and a nice, relaxing bath with rose oil, bath salts, and a lit candle. Once the water had gone cold and you were done with the bath, you decided to start getting ready for the plans you had later that evening, which consisted of blow drying and styling your hair, then applying some light - yet natural - makeup. Slipping into the dark blue evening dress with the strappy, laced-up back you picked out two weeks ago, you looked yourself up and down in the full-length mirror in your room with a smile on your face. It had been a long time since you had the chance to get dressed up and have a night of fun with friends, which is exactly what you were planning on doing; having fun.

Work had been extremely stressful lately, for everyone - more so than usual, considering your line of work; being in the Behavioral Analysis Unit of the FBI, where you work with serial killers day-in and day-out. One case in particular was rough on everyone; picked by the team’s communications liaison, JJ, you were flown out to Omaha, Nebraska to find an unsub who had a wide victimology and almost no similarities when it came down to location or anything else. You were there coming up on two whole weeks, when, after spending nearly forty-eight hours awake studying every detail, Spencer had found a similar signature connecting each murder. It wasn’t previously detected because it was so small it was easily overlooked, that is, until Derek and Rossi revisited every site and concluded that Spencer was right. At each location where a victim was found, a trinket of some sort was hidden, left behind as a sign of remorse. At first it made no sense, because each killing seemed too extreme to leave any room for remorse, not until the idea of a partner in crime was bounced around. Meaning that there were now two unsubs, one who was the alpha that controlled everything, and a second who most likely lured in the victims but only because they were told to rather than because they wanted to. Luckily, all the trinkets had traces of the unsub and their partner’s DNA left on it. That discovery soon led to tracking the unsub and chasing him down, where you and Emily went into the building first, to try and appeal to and reason with the submissive unsub, and would ultimately save the life of their latest victim. The plan went sideways when you two were met with the wrong one, and stepped into the middle of a trap... The unsub wanted a trade - the final victim for the two FBI agents - but the rest of the team, including the police force backing them up, were not about to have that. In the end, everyone was extracted and brought back to the precinct, except for the second unsub, who lost their life in the midst of the fight.

To say the least, the team needed a break, and to have some fun.

Adding the final touch to your look -- a pair of black heels -- you grabbed your purse and jacket before locking the front door behind you and making your way to the car.

Once you were at the venue, a valet took your keys and parked your car for you. You stood on the curb, looking up at the gorgeous entrance of a high-end hotel. Before you could think about how all-out the bureau went, a familiar, deep voice spoke up on your right, “Damn Mama, I almost didn’t recognize you.”

Turning, you came face-to-face with the most iconic duo of your team, Derek Morgan with Penelope Garcia standing beside him. Your cheeks flushed as you smiled, “You don’t look too bad yourself, hot stuff. Penelope, sweetheart, you look as wonderful as ever.”

“Please, I don’t think anyone here looks as good as you.” She waved her hand, a dismissal to your comment as she noticeably gawked at you.

“Why don’t we find out. Shall we?” You raised an eyebrow at them, tilting your head in the direction of the hotel.

“We shall.” Penelope disconnected herself from her chocolate thunder, and looped her arm with yours with a giggle as the three of you entered the building and followed the signs to the ballroom.

Tables filled with assorted foods line one wall while tables are scattered throughout the front half of the room, a live band played against the back wall, and the floor of the other half of the room was left unoccupied by furniture to leave space for dancing and mingling. You mentally thanked the event coordinator, whoever they might be, for ensuring the lights were dimmer than usual, since it gave your eyes a rest from the usual harsh office lights.

Your eyes scanned the room, searching for the rest of your team, when your gaze landed on a man wearing a slick, dark gray suit and a maroon tie with his hair flopped perfectly over his forehead yet just out of reach of his eyes. You hadn't realized you were staring until Penelope had to practically drag you to where Emily and JJ were standing while Derek split with you guys to meet up with Rossi, Hotch, and Spencer.

“So, is anyone looking particularly yummy tonight?” Penelope asked Emily and JJ, bubbly before her first drink of the night as her eyes eagerly swept across the room. Typical Garcia. Gotta love her, though.

You laughed and shook your head. “I’m going to get a drink, anyone else want a one?” The girls gave you their requests, and you were off to the bar stationed near the wonderful display of food that you were sure to raid in a matter of time - that is, if your stomach had any say about it. "One-"

A voice interrupted you and finished your order before you could get more than a single word out, "Gin martini with a lemon twist." A smirk formed on your lips as you see who was standing next to you. "Oh! And chilled, but not on the rocks," Spencer added with a wink in your direction, a goofy smile plastered on his face to match your own.

"Spence, you remembered!"

"Y/n, I have an idetic memory; of course I remembered."

You rolled your eyes in response and ordered for the girls before you forgot as the bartender handed you your drink. "So, how's your evening so far?"

"Good. Met a couple of Rossi's friends, one of which was an older woman who touched my arm a lot, though I don't know why..."

You chuckled and shook your head. "Oh, you poor innocent boy."

"Innocent?" He raised an eyebrow at you, faking offense, as he helped you carry the drinks to the table the girls were standing around. "Are you so sure about that?"

"Why shouldn't I be when you make comments like that?" you countered. "Alright," you announced, cutting the conversation short before it can lead to anywhere presumptuous in front of company, you name off the drinks as you and Spencer place them in front of their respective owners.

Spencer took his place by your side, his arm pressed against yours and his gaze fixated on you, waiting patiently for you to notice or make another comment from your earlier conversation. The girls hadn't noticed anything out of the ordinary, seeing as you and Spencer had become the absolute best of friends in a short amount of time when you first joined the group, which meant the two of you were in very close proximity to one another about ninety-percent of the time. They were also too busy to notice over their ogling of the other attendees.

"You're staring," you murmured over your glass to him as you took a sip of your martini before stealing a quick glance up at him, then returning your eyes back to the crowd forming in the room. Rossi, Hotch, and Derek were still nowhere to be seen from your spot.

"Sorry," you heard him whisper, his eyes still stationed on you for a moment before he looked around as well.

The live band began to play one of your favorite songs by Frank Sinatra, Fly Me To The Moon, and you couldn't help the smile that brightened your whole face after you took another sip of your drink.

The warmth that accompanied Spencer when he stood as close to you as he had been suddenly disappeared, making your heart unexpectedly quicken in a mix of worry and disappointment at the loss of contact. Then, when a throat cleared, and you saw him still standing next to you only a little farther away than he originally was with his hand extended and a lopsided smile on his face as hope flickered bright in his eyes. Your anxiety calmed, and was replaced with joy.

"Care to dance?"

Taking his hand, you stepped closer to him and replied, "I'd love to," as he led the two of you to the dance floor.

There, he pulled you closer to him, your bodies pressed against one another, as his hand slid behind you to rest easily on the small of your back while his other hand held one of yours, and your other hand took place on his shoulder. The two of you swayed as the music filled your ears.

You felt content in that moment. So happy with your friends, music, and food and drink. You couldn't think of a better way to spend an evening during your weekend off. Hopefully you wouldn't spoil it all by accidentally drinking too much and either a) managing to somehow embarrass yourself before the night is over or b) having to nurse a killer hangover the next morning - the last day of freedom before being called back into work the following day.

You felt Spencer's eyes on you once more. Though it wasn't creepy or unsettling; with him it never seemed to feel that way. Instead, it warmed your body, making your cheeks flush and your chest flutter.

"You're staring again." When he refused to take his eyes off you, you forced yourself to meet his gaze. "You seem to do it a lot. Why is that?"

"Possibly because you always look amazing. Except tonight; tonight you look... radiant."

"Oh, please... you're only saying that because you've never seen me all dressed up like this before." You dip your head rest on the side of his own in an attempt to hide your face, not from embarrassment, but rather to hide how red your cheeks had become in a mere matter of seconds by the few simple words he uttered.

"No, I'm not. Y/n, look at me, please." His voice was gentle yet serious as his fingers gently guided your chin up so you could properly look at him. "I mean it."

#criminal minds #spencer reid #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x oc #criminal minds imagine

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seanfalco · 4 years

Note

I wish you'd write a fic (for this ask thing, starting like this seems rude haha) where Nathan found out the reader dated a woman before him, for like a while. 💞

word count: 1k a/n: I’d kinda always imagined the reader character to be bi, so this was a perfect prompt. had a bit of writer’s block as i worked on this, so hopefully it’s not terribleee lol

——

“Oh, shit,” you muttered, quickly turning back to your drink and lowering your head, your shoulders hunching slightly.

“What’s the matter?” Simon asked and you let out a heavy sigh.

“My ex is over there,” you groaned, discreetly peeking over your shoulder to see if she’d seen you, hoping she hadn’t and Simon followed suit, craning his neck for a look.

“Where--?” he asked, frowning, “I don’t see… there’s only women -- oh,” he exclaimed, catching on as you gave him a pointed look. “I see,” he said quickly, taking a nervous sip from his bottle. “Does… does Nathan know?” he asked and you glanced over to the bar where he stood, waiting for your drinks, catching you looking and shot you a goofy grin.

“Uhm… not really, no,” you answered sheepishly, taking a long draw from your beer, side eyeing Simon with a grimace.

“It’s probably not my place,” he mumbled, his eyes flicking to you hesitantly, “but maybe that’s something you should tell him?”

“Yeah,” you agreed reluctantly. “I just… you know how easily Nathan gets… jealous,” you pointed out and Simon nodded in understanding.

“Oh. Yeah, that’s…” before he could finish his thought Nathan returned, plopping down between you and Simon, drinks in hand, cutting your conversation short and you took the fresh beer with a quick peck to his cheek before he threw an arm around you, settling in.

“What I miss?” he asked, taking a drink and reaching for the bowl of peanuts on the table.

“Uhm,” Simon began -- “Nothing much,” you exclaimed quickly and Nathan frowned, looking between the two of you suspiciously.

“Uh huhhh,” he mused, narrowing his eyes and turning his sights on Simon, who he figured would crack first.

Before he could begin an interrogation however a voice behind you made you tense and you turned, plastering a grin on your face, Nathan and Simon following suit to see who had spoken.

“Hey, [y/n], long time, no see.”

“Oh, hey,” you greeted, chuckling nervously. She’d been the one to break up with you, and to be honest it still kinda stung, hence why you’d never really brought it up before, but it looked like it was about to come out tonight whether you liked it or not. You’d known if she’d caught sight of you she wouldn’t let the opportunity go to rub your face in it. “It’s… good t’see you,” you lied, feeling Nathan shift beside you, sitting up straighter, his attention clearly pricked.

“What’ve you been up to? Are you… seeing anyone?” your ex asked pointedly, her eyes disdainfully flicking to Nathan, who frowned.

Before you could answer, Nathan prickled, jumping in. “Yeah, she’s seein’ someone,” he exclaimed, pointing to himself, “Me! An’ who th’fuck are you anyway, huh?” he demanded with a scoff.

“Uh, Nathan, this is my ex, Michelle. Michelle, this is my boyfriend, Nathan,” you said, quickly introducing them and his eyes widened, his mouth falling open.

“You dated a girl?” he hissed incredulously, “Holy shit...” He still looked shocked, processing the information, or you were sure he’d be asking all sorts of inappropriate questions.

Before he could start, you huffed an awkward laugh, hoping to swiftly end the conversation and tell Michelle it’d been nice to see her and have her go on her way, but her lips curled impishly as she looked between you and Nathan.

“I see you’ve downgraded after I split,” she murmured, smirking, and you frowned, opening your mouth to tell her off, but you didn’t get the chance.

“Excuse you,” Nathan cried, having snapped out of it, his thick brows drawing down. “As if you have any better taste! Else you wouldn’t have broken up with this goddess. So, fuck you!”

Your mouth fell open and you turned to gape at Nathan, Simon watching the entire proceedings with a wide eyed expression.

“Whatever,” Michelle huffed, turning and stalking away, leaving the three of you in awkward silence.

“Uhm, I’m gunna…” Simon didn’t even bother coming up with an excuse before he slipped out of the booth, hurrying for the bathroom, leaving you alone with Nathan who turned his incredulous gaze on you.

“Uh, soooo, one, what the fuck?” he asked as you grimaced, “and two, you dated a girl?” he yelped, holding up two fingers, looking at you in a new light.

Groaning, you scrunched your face up, composing yourself while trying to figure out what to say. “Nathan, I--”

“I mean, she’s a total cunt, but still, I didn’t know you were into the ladies,” he continued and you opened your eyes in surprise, finding his smirking face waiting for you.

“That doesn’t like, weird you out or anything?” you asked, taken aback, biting your lip.

“T’be honest, it’s kinda hot,” he exclaimed with a shrug and you rolled your eyes, shoving him lightly.

Classic Nathan, you thought, though you felt relief fill you, your apprehension melting away. You’d had people turn you down before because of their stupid biphobia, and it wasn’t like you’d purposefully not told Nathan because you thought it’d scare him off -- it’d just never come up before, but you’d be lying if you said it hadn’t been in the back of your mind, that fear of rejection. And for once you’d found someone you really didn’t want to lose.

“But seriously,” you murmured, chancing a look at his eyes, “it doesn’t bother you?”

“Nah,” he replied, pulling you closer to his side, his expression sobering for a moment before cracking a grin again. “‘Long as you’re still ‘Nathansexual’,” he joked, gesturing to himself tantalizingly as he cocked an eyebrow at you and you couldn’t help but snort, grabbing his face and leaning in to press a kiss to his laughing lips.

“Well, duh,” you murmured, grinning. “You’re th’only one I’m interested in, y’big dork,” you reassured him.

When Simon returned from the bathroom he found you and Nathan too busy snogging to notice him as he stood there awkwardly for a moment before rolling his eyes and heading back to the bar til things cooled off.

#misfits #nathan young #nathan young x reader #nathan young imagines #my writing #prompt request #pigwidgexn #i wish you would write a fic where...

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stomp-that-ho-regard · 3 years

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I typically don’t do asks (I've only ever gotten a few), but a recent one got my gears turning and I wanted to reply.

(This is a secondary blog, so I can’t answer asks in the usual way.)

Your post about the retcon is so fucking good, I wish every critter saw it and actually thought about how shitty it was done, but then their belief in the cast and show would probably start cracking.

Thank you for liking the retcon post. I’ve seen various people in the tags thank me for making that post and have said that it’s helped them ‘feel less insane’. None of us are insane. We are not delusional. We didn’t experience a mass hallucination. These things happened, and they’ve been thoroughly documented. Hundreds of hours of material over the course of three years.

The people who should read that post won’t ever see it because I have all those assholes blocked lol. If they did manage to find it somehow, I know they would just mock it, as they’re wont to do with any of our criticisms. They’re so far up CR’s ass, they’ve convinced themselves that a retcon didn’t happen. Even shoving the literal definition of the word in their faces wouldn’t wake them up.

It's just so fucking weird to see how the group is acting now, and I'm pretty sure we're never gonna get a Laura&Marisha episode picture and a TM episode with those 2 for the rest of the campaign. It feels like when a non-canon wlw ship gets big on a TV show and suddenly the actresses can't be seen or interact with each other anymore🙄 it's the same fucking pattern and like you, I thought I wouldn't have to deal with this on a d&d show.

I specifically want to address the “It feels like when a non-canon wlw ship gets big on a TV show and suddenly the actresses can't be seen or interact with each other anymore” because I’ve thought about that pattern too. (Not so much with Marisha/Laura ‘cause them being on TM together is already a rare combo. If they don’t appear much or at all going forward, I don’t think it’s because of this, though it really wouldn’t surprise me. But, I have been thinking about that specific pattern in regard to their characters.)

I can make a comparison between this situation and what happened with the show A/gent Carter and the way the ship Cart/inelli was handled.

I know that might sound weird, but stay with me here lol...

I want to make it clear that I’m not comparing the relationships at all. Cart/inelli did not have nearly the same amount of build-up and depth as Beaujester, (or quite frankly, their level of possibility.) What I am comparing is the creators over-the-top reactions to these characters being shipped so hard and the extreme measures they went to in order to ‘remedy’ that.

The ship included P/eggy Carter and A/ngie Martinelli. The show was set in New York. Angie was a waitress (who wanted to be an actress/be on Broadway) at the diner that Peggy frequented. They ended up talking quite a bit and became fairly close. That ended up kind of becoming the core relationship in the entire first season, and LOTS of people started shipping it.

At the time, no one was calling us crazy or delusional. At most it was, “This is ABC! They’re not gonna pair her with a woman!” and of course the obligatory “But Peggy’s not gay!”. But no one was calling us names or being generally cruel. And anyone who tried it was ignored because everyone else drowned them out. The ship became extremely popular on Tumblr and Twitter. Both actresses were very positive and supportive. They regularly liked/retweeted romantic Cart/inelli fanart on Twitter. Even one of the female writers on the show got behind it too. It was asked about frequently at conventions and no one booed or rolled their eyes. The questions were never dismissed or made into a joke. (Honestly, this was one of the better overall fandom experiences I’ve had on here.)

And all of us were super excited for S2. Not just because of all the support, but because they had ended S1 with Peggy and Angie moving in together. Peggy had purchased, either it was a really fancy apartment or house (my memory is fuzzy on this), and she literally asked Angie to stay with her. Needless to say, that fueled the flames even more.

But despite the actresses and at least one writer being on board, between S1 and S2, something shifted.

Clearly, the showrunner and/or the execs, took a look at all of this and deemed it a ‘problem’. When S2 finally came around, suddenly everything was different. Instead of both of them living together in New York, instead of it being an organic (I’m beginning to hate that word) continuation from where they left off, Peggy decided to move to Los Angeles to do work for some agency out there or something, and Angie stayed in New York. It’s never explained why. It’s never explained why a woman who so badly wanted to be an actress would NOT want to go to LA, where Hollywood is. LA was never mentioned in S1. There were no hints that Peggy might want to fly out to the West Coast at some point. She seemed perfectly happy in NY, basically setting up house with Angie.

And they didn’t even ease into the change. They just got rid of the character. The actress was bummed about it and Cart/inelli fans tried to put pressure on the showrunner/writers to bring Angie back, which the actress completely supported, but even that fell on deaf ears. So, Angie was simply no longer an entity on that show. Conveniently removed. All the excitement we had was crushed. And of course, the second that Peggy got out to LA, she suddenly had a very obvious male love interest. What a surprise.

The showrunner/writers were not subtle about what they thought about our ship and us. They made the most extreme, nonsensical writing decision in order to permanently separate these two characters. Because, hey, that’s the only way to get the shippers to STOP, right?

This was what I was reminded of when I started seeing the turn that post-hiatus CR was taking. It ended up being a weird combination of kneejerk erasure (BJ) and heavy-handed overcompensation (BY).

But of course, CR is not a TV show, it’s D&D. And they can’t force one of their PCs to just disappear, so what do they have to resort to? Not interacting.

We all know how severely neutered Beau and Jester’s general relationship has become. It’s clear to me that both Marisha and Laura felt they had to do that. They had to suddenly have their characters stay away from each other as much as possible so they could prioritize Fjord and Yasha, and speed-run into romances with them. They started acting as if either of them giving the other one ounce of affectionate attention (like they had been doing so often and so naturally before), would be breaking some sort of hidden ‘relationship code’. Almost like if they ever hugged again, the studio would go down in flames.

The very obvious fact that they went to these lengths, to me, proves two things...

One, it proves the retcon even more, because you can tell that the way they behaved with each other DID in fact change. The frequency of interactions and the way those interactions would play out. Whenever they interact now, it seems like they’re trying to keep it as short, thin, and almost comedic (to the point of goofiness, and not in a good way) as possible. Their engagement seems half-assed and dull. The sounds of their voices, their facial expressions... completely sanitized. Even all the physicality they had is gone; the touches, the hugs, the cuddling. Every single aspect is different and they absolutely did that intentionally. This had to happen because they needed to dupe the viewers into believing that despite overall interest waning, their threadbare connections to Fjord and Yasha are more important, and were always more important then their connection to each other, that we all watched them steadily build. (And watched them pick up steam from about ep70 onwards.)

And two, that whole intentional decision to cut themselves off from each other, proves to me that their interactions pre-hiatus were indeed tinged with ‘something extra’, that was more than just friendship. They both recognized it and that’s why they pulled back so hard. That’s why soft touches and hugs and cuddling are no longer ‘allowed’. That’s why quiet, heartfelt conversations are no longer ‘allowed’. Because if there was absolutely nothing there, if they didn’t see/feel any romantic chemistry simmering underneath, and it was all just platonic BFF stuff, why would they suppress their behavior so drastically?

I think that all of this really does cement what I said in my retcon post: That there are disingenuous patterns being used here that I’ve seen far too often in media. In A/gent Carter, it was a character separation, in CR it was a character dynamic separation. Both done on purpose, to make the shippers shut up, and to push a different plot.

One is scripted, the other is unscripted, but the situations feel disgustingly similar, don’t they?

#op #ask #long post #i feel like i'm just retreading old ground here #still cathartic though

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lildevyl · 4 years

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Pick Me Up Playlist

@jellymadebutler I know you said you’re not feeling your best so here’s a “Pick Me up Playlist” for ya or for anyone needs it!

(Markiplier)

Try Not To Laugh Challenge: This is actually backwards! It goes from 23-1 but it’s still a nice Playlist to watch!

Markiplier Makes: This is the whole Playlist of the infamous Markiplier Makes Videos! It’s really funny!

Among Us: Among Us is a new game that’s out there on Steam. You’re either a Crewmate going trying to do tasks to keep the ship going until you reach your destination or the you’re the Imposter! What happens when you get a bunch of YouTubers together for a classic Whodunnit? Chaos and hilarity in sue!

Minecraft: I’m not big into Minecraft but it is very funny seeing Mark and Sean play this and see what they come up with!

I Am Bread: This is a rage game just letting you know ahead of time! But it is funny seeing Mark rage out of the game! But like I said this is a rage game so there is some yelling/screaming in it!

Getting Over It: This another rage game! It is quite funny but like I said it is a Rage Game so there is screaming and yelling involved!

Pogo Stuck: This is a somewhat kind of rage game! It first starts out with Bob, Wade, and Mark playing it. But then Mark starts playing it by himself and yes there is some yelling and screaming in the videos so fair warning!

Uno: This is quite a hilarious game series! It’s Mark and his friends playing the online game of Uno!

Monopoly: This a goo game series and is quite hilarious! It’s Mark, Bob and Wade and there is one where Lixian joins! It really funny and think you might enjoy it!

(JackSepticeye)

Undertale: The best way to start you off with JackSepticeye is one of his most famous series of all time, Undertale! Undertale is about a human that falls in the Monster World and go about it learning the Monster World while trying to get home! It’s a text based game and Jack does the voices for the characters!

Deltarune: The Sequel to Undertale! Or that’s what everyone seems to be calling it! I haven’t had the chance to watch the series but I’ve heard it’s really good!

Slime Rancher: Literally you are a Rancher raising all kinds of different slimes! It’s really cute and funny!

Cuphead: This is a very old school cartoon like style game. There is some violence in it but it’s mild and no more then what actual cartoons, like Tom and Jerry and the Animatics.

Bendy and the Inc Machine: This is a horror game but it’s not the scary! There are some jump scares but it’s more like FNAF kind of jump scare. So, it will be scare ya but not that much. It’s like a cartoon horror game. Again some violence in the game but it’s mild. This also kinda of spawn the idea of the JSE Fan Made Ego Shawn Flynn! Jack has a cameo in the game!

Animal Crossing: Nice little story driven game that Jack plays on his switch. It’s very cute and it’s a nice little game to series to watch!

Spiderman: Jack finally gets to play as his all time favorite Super Hero from his childhood! Spiderman!

Spiderman Miles Morales: The next gen starts now! With the new Spiderman! This game is based of the movie Spiderman into the Spider verse and I can’t wait to watch it and watch this series of Jack’s!

Spyro 3: Remake: This is a cute series of the game Spyro 3 redone for the PS3! It’s super cute and a lot of fun! I think you might enjoy this one!

Minecraft: Like I said, I’m not into Minecraft but this is a nice and cute series that Jack has! Filled with a lot of Adventure and some scary events!

Meme Time!: A cute series that Jack started where he goes on his Subreddit and looks at some of our Memes that we did!

Luigi’s Mason 3: I can’t make a playlist for someone to watch and not include this! This is so cute and wholesome! It’s all from Luigi’s point of view and how he’s going to try and stop the Ghost King and save his brother and friends!

Among Us: I have to include Jack’s! This is so funny with Jack and his friends! I think you might enjoy this!

(CrankGamePlays)

Pokémon: I haven’t watched this series yet, but I’ve heard great things about it!

Papers Please: This is very hilarious! I’ve seen a couple of episodes and I think you might like it!

Animal Crossing: I did enjoy watching Ethan play this! It’s really funny and wholesome and I think you might enjoy it!

Slime Rancher: I have to include this! I watched this when I was feeling a little down during Quarantine. It’s really funny!

(DolphinTreasureArt)

This a YouTuber that I found when I went browsing for Markiplier and JackSepticeye fan-made games! DolphinTreasureArt plays fan-made games and indie games on her channel. Along with some Cosplays and Artwork that she has done. Some of her Fanart has gotten in a couple of fan games!

Septiscape: First off, this series is near and dear to my heart! This is the first ever series that watched back in 2k18 when I first found Erin’s Channel! This helped me get over my writers block and led to me to writing my first fanfic that I wrote in over a year! This one is an older version but I still love it!

Jack finds himself trapped in his own mind, the Mindscape and is trying to find his way home! Along the way he finds out the Egos that he created are more then just Egos! But at the same time, some sort of Corruption and happening with Jack’s mind and many of the Ego’s Worlds is collapsing!

Septiscape: Livestream #HopeFromHome: This is the livestream of the updated version of the game! It’s about 8 hours long but you can skip some parts, especially since some of the fights can be a bit repetive but I wanted to include this one!

Soulscape: I can’t put in Septiscape and not give you the sequel as well! This is the well awaited sequel to Septiscape! After the adventures of the first game, the Egos go and try to enjoy a nice little R&R only for someone to stalking Anti and trying to take his soul pieces back! Join Anti and the Egos as they try to figure out what it going on and help save Anti before it’s too late! And there is really cool plot twist!

Hearts and Heroes: This is another one that is near and dear to my heart! I will also link Mark’s playthrough as well! Hearts and Heroes and about you the fans of Markiplier and the journey that the fans go through trying to help save people from the Monsters the haunt their dreams and to help save Mark from his worst Nightmare. Markiplier’s Playthrough here.

Septiclands: A JackSepticeye Fan Game: This is very funny series that DolphinTreasureArt has done! It’s silly and goofy and it has a very weird plot but it’s absolutely one of my favorites! It’s also on her longest series as well!

The Boss: A JackSepticeye Fan Game: Just like Heats and Heroes is near and dear to me heart so is this game! I’ll leave a link to Jack’s Playthrough as well! This is near and dear to my heart b/c it’s the first JackSepticeye Fan Game that I came across. It was on Jack’s Channel that first saw it and then I watched Erin’s. This is nice little RPG Game, but it’s about Jack being sucked into his computer and has to try and find his way home! On the way he finds out that there is two subscribers that lost in his computer and there is a major twist at the end!

The Boss Is Nothing: His Side of the Story: I don’t want to give away what happens in the Boss! So, this the other side of the story of The Boss! In the Boss, Jack comes across someone he never thought he would, so now we’re getting his side of the story and why did what he did to Jack!

Glitch in the System: Chapter 1: This is a very special game! It’s the sequel to The Boss! The developers over at Sarcastic Pasta Games is working hard to get chapter two out! Chapter one is really good and you get see Erin do some Cosplay along with some voice acting for the characters/Egos!

Septic Storm: This is a cute little fan game that’s a bit old, but it’s a very cute RPG Game! Join, Jack, Mark and Felix as they battle Billy to end this battle once and for all! Only to find out that Billy isn’t the one that truly is behind this, but someone else entirely!

CrankGamePlays Fan Game: The Crank Chronicles: This is a RPG Fan Game of one Ethan Nester CrankGamePlays! Ethan has find himself in a distant land thanks to the help of a powerful Sorceress! But an evil threatens the land! With help of his two best friends Mark and Tyler, Ethan goes on a quest to help save this land and find his way home! I don’t if the developer ever did the sequel to the this game or not but it’s not a bad game!

#markiplier #jacksepticeye #crankgameplays #dolphintreasureart #jellymadebutter #here's a nice list of playthroughs for ya!#i hope you feel better #and my inbox is always open if you need and/or want talk!

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xtrashmammalstefx · 4 years

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Nevermore (A Joe Mazzello x Reader Smut Sprinkled with Angst!)

WARNINGS: SMUT, LANGUAGE, ANGST...

NOTES: Again I am sorry this took so long but yall know how it is. Writer’s block is a bitch! Anyway thanks for your patience and enjoy! Oh...AND MERRY CHRISTMAS MY LOVIES!!!

Dying is easy (or so I've heard), it's living that's hard. I learned that during a time when other kids were learning their multiplication tables. Well, hows this for multiplication: hatred x time= an explosion that destroys many, sending the innocent into the vast land of Nevermore.

My parents had gotten together in high school but hadn't meant for it to last long. In their minds the other was just something to kill the time until something better and long lasting came along. Then a moment of fun turned into a lifetime of hell. My mom found out she was having me the winter after she turned sixteen. Dad thought of it as a nightmare come true but stuck around because, “That's what a real man does.” He used that excuse a lot, mostly because of his religious upbringing. The same upbringing that led to him marrying my mom at eighteen.

Fast forward a few years....I'm eight, about to turn nine and my dad was packing up his things. I'd be lying if I said it wasn't a long time coming...I just wish it hadn't come so soon. “Can I come with you?” I asked hopeful...my mother wasn't exactly parent of the year.

“Not yet Bun,” he said using his nickname for me. “Mom needs you.”

“Mom hates me,” I rebuked. Dad just sighed and continued packing.

He was gone an hour later.

Why did you have to leave me Why did you deceive me You send me to the path of nevermore When you say you didn't love me anymore

As he drove away I ran up to my room and curled up on my bed. I cried for a long time that day, and mom kept telling me to shut up...that I didn't know my dad like she did. I ignored the horrible things she said about him and the outside world in general...until a soft pitter patter of feet entering my room caught my attention.

“Y/N?” Joe called my name. Joe had been my best friend since first grade. He was goofy, sweet, and just the best human in the world. I sniffed back tears and looked up.

“Huh-he's gone.” Was all I said before breaking down again. My bed shifted as Joe climbed on top of it and drew me into his small twig-like arms. “Nuh-now I'm stuck with her.” I almost started wailing. “Why am I stuck with her? Why can't I be with a family that cares?”

“You are with a family that cares, Y/N,” he said. “I'm your family.”

I looked up at him curiously.

“I'll always be your family,” he said.

I sniffed. “Puh-Promise?”

He nodded.

He held me there for the rest of the day, until he had to leave for dinner. He was going to ask my mom if I could join him at his house but she was passed out on the sofa; beer bottle hanging from her fingertips.

Years passed and things didn't get any better. My mom got sick when I was twelve...Years of heavy drinking sent her liver into hell. She underwent treatments and for fours years it seemed that they had worked. When I was sixteen I found out she was still drinking and eventually her liver became too trashed to function and her doctor said the only hope she had now was a liver transplant. Weeks passed and we were still waiting. Mom was in the hospital, hooked to machines, while I was home alone.

One day the stress finally got to me and I called into school sick. I spent the day under the covers of my bed. I tried to sleep...shut my mind off and go away for a while...but I couldn't. Instead I just laid there wishing this was some sort nightmare that I could wake up from at any minute.

“Y/N?” Joe's voice drew me out of my reverie. I sighed buried myself further under my blankets. “I-um-brought your homework.” He said.

“Thanks,” I muttered. I thought he would get the hint and walk away but then I heard a soft thud and felt the bed shift. Joe draped his arm over me pressing our bodies together. “I-I'm gonna be alone Joey.”

“Don't say that,” he whispered.

“It's true...” I muttered. “Mom doesn't have much time...she knows it...I know it...the doctors know it but they won't say anything...and dad knows...but still doesn't want me to go with him after...said it wasn't a good idea for me...”

“Doesn't mean you'll have to be alone, Y/N,” Joe said his voice cracking. I looked over and found his eyes shining with tears. “You have me...you have us...you’re a Mazzello forever and always.”

“I am?”

“Of course,” he said gently. “I love you, Y/N. I think I’m always gonna love you. Even when you don’t love yourself.”

“Promise?”

He nodded. “I do,” he whispered bringing his lips down to mine. His lips were warm and soft...and stunning. I froze for a bit shocked at the feeling it gave. It was like it was the most right thing in the world. That even though I was losing the last of my birth family I would be okay...because Joe was with me, he was breathing, and he was loving.

I kissed back fiercely.

Eventually his tongue slipped in and massaged mine as our hands explored elsewhere. My hands snaked up his shirt, nudging it up until he got the hint. He shrugged it off. “Are you sure?” he asked.

“I’ve been more sure about anything,” I said before tugging off my own shirt, kind of grateful I was too lazy to at least put on a bra that morning.

“Wow,” Joe said. “You grew.” I slapped him playfully on his arm and he brought his lips back to mine. “Seriously though,” he said leaving kisses on my cheek, neck, and collar bone. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone so fucking beautiful in my entire life.”

I felt my face warm up at that as he went down to my breasts. He kissed them gently, sucking on my nipple. “Fuck, you really know what you’re doing.”

Joe chuckled and ventured lower. He kissed a trail down my stomach stopping at the waistband of my shorts. I lifted my hips so he could pull them off. Once he did he got between my legs. “So fucking beautiful,” he whispered before pressing his lips to my cunt.

I sucked in a breath as he started kissing and sucking at me. The feeling was intense… something out of this world even. “J-Joey I—.”

There was a stirring brewing within and it was suddenly getting much, much stronger. Suddenly my back was arched, my toes curled, and I could feel a warm liquid leave me. I moaned loudly. Joe gave my cunt a final kiss and climbed back up, smirking. “Huh-how the fuck..?” I asked panting. Joe laughed.

“You have your talents...I have mine,” Was all he said before lining himself up with my entrance. I peered down seeing if he needed any help and gasped. I didn’t know how he was ever gonna make that fit. “Ready, baby?”

I looked up and nodded.

He pushed in and we both cried out. He held still for a while so we could get use to the feel of one another. “You’re perfect…” I muttered. “You’re perfect for me.”

“I dunno about that,” he grunted. “You’re so tight.”

I smacked him playfully on his (cute as hell) ass. “Smart ass.”

“I was just kidding, babe.” he chuckled pushing in a little more. I moaned at the feeling. “You okay?”

I nodded. “Just take it slow...you’re insanely big for a twig.”

“Ha ha,” he said but still pushed in as slowly and gently as possible. Moments later he was all the way in. He held still for a while longer settling for just kissing me on my lips and neck. After a while I felt comfortable enough that my body was aching for him to move.

“Joey are you gonna fuck me any time soon or are you just gonna leave your dick in me?” I asked.

“Oh, uh…” He pulled out and pushed back in.

Our bodies moved together seamlessly. As though this is how we were always meant to be. Together, joined as one. I held onto Joe as though I were holding on to my life; which I was, I really was.

Suddenly the same stirring feeling from earlier started up again. Eventually I was writhing beneath Joe, moaning as I was pushed over the edge. It got worse when Joe started thrusting into a certain spot. I bit back a scream of extreme pleasure. Joe smirked.

“I take it I found your weak spot?” he asked. I nodded furiously and he continued to thrust there. He went in harder and faster, probably feeling the same tension grow within him that I did.

To say that I was almost seeing stars would be the understatement of the century. Finally it all became too much and I became undone. I moaned loudly as my whole body tensed up, and more liquid left me covering Joe’s length.

This sent him over the edge and with a groan he twitched inside me, filling me up. His body shuttered as he released while mine began to relax.

“I love you so much, Y/N,” he said panting once he collapsed beside me. “So, so, much.”

I cuddled up against. “I love you too, Joey.”

We were inseparable after that day. Mom passed soon after and his parents graciously took me in. Happily ever after doesn’t come easy though. The feelings I felt earlier that morning never really went away especially after mom died. It was hard for me to even leave my bed, and even Joe at times would spend the day holding me.

When we grew older and he filmed more movies and stuff, we got our own place. I still had those moments but they were far and few. Joe and I married soon after The Pacific premiered and a year later we were parents to a beautiful baby girl. A girl I swore to do right by, unlike my parents.

I swear on my every breath she will never know what it’s like to be lost in the land of Nevermore. She and her soon to be baby brother, Joey, will live happily no matter what.

I promise.

Taglist: @fairestkillerqueenofall @onceuponadetectivedemigod @boherahpsody @freddie-bulsara @rose-de-jaune @xxkellsvixen19xx @valeriecarolinaw @hearttshapeddboxx @pleasingiswhatweaimfor @hatemylifesofuckingmuch @painandpleasure86 @haileynicoleseavey17 @queenlover1997 @mrsmazzello @hannafuckingsucks @zwiezraczek @night-writer-writer @theborhapboysawakenedmywhatever @tinywildeace

#joe mazzello #joe mazello x reader #joe mazello imagine #Smut

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bungou-stray-dingus · 5 years

Text

🖤My Muse🖤

Poe x Reader

He’s had his eye on you for a while now, ever since he first saw you reading over his new mystery novel with Ranpo. You had smiled up at him while you read over it, and when Ranpo had handed you the book and made you read it out loud to him, his heart melted. He wanted to leave, he should have left, but he ended up sitting on the chair across from the couch, listening to your soft delicate voice read the words he had written, watching your mouth move and your face depict the expression that he had created through his words.

He was even more enthralled when Ranpo got up and left, but you stayed on the couch, curling up with the book in your hands, truly captured by the novel he had written. When everyone started leaving the office, Ranpo had to tap you to pull you away from the pages. “Y/N, it’s time to go.”

“Oh... sorry.” You giggled nervously, and when you looked over at him, realizing that he was still there, you blushed brightly, tucking the hair behind your ear. “I’m sorry, did you want the book back? I haven’t finished yet.” The way you clutched the book against your chest, like you didn’t want to let it go until you got to the last page.

It was a better feeling than Ranpo telling him his book was “okay” or “good”. Actually seeing you take the time to read through every word, flipping through every page carefully, your expressions changing as you made it further into his story.

“You can keep it, if you want?” He said softly, his hair shadowing his look of pure joy when your face lit up at his offer.

“Really!? That’s fantastic! Thank you Poe.” He watched through his curtain like bangs as your mouth rounded when you said his name. He couldn’t get the image out of his head.

Even when he tried not to think about you, as he was sitting at his desk trying to think of a character for his new novel, you kept coming to the forefront of his mind. He didn’t want to write for Ranpo anymore, he wanted to know how you felt about his writing, he wanted to watch you read his works. You flooded his thoughts, you were like a hurricane that had come too close to his coast line.

Every new original character ended up being you, and after a while he stopped trying to not write about you. He described you perfectly, all the way down to the way your eyebrows arched when you were frustrated or confused, the lines that formed in your forehead when you focused on something, the way your eyes squeezed shut and your nose scrunched up, your lips flat but still pulling up in the corner when you heard a stupid joke. Every little thing about you he had photographically memorized in his mind, you were the perfect muse for him.

The light tapping came out of nowhere, and his head shot up as he saw the silhouette in the doorway. He knew it was you immediately, and his heart felt like it was going to jump out of his chest. He was on the verge of hyperventilating when you started walking towards his desk, your arms folded around the book he had let you finish.

“I finished the book. It was amazing. I loved it, you write so well.” You placed the book gently down on his desk, then clasped your hands behind your back, looking down at him.

“Did you come just to tell me that?” He asked, and he watched as your bottom lip got pulled in by your teeth. It was one the things you did when you were nervous, and he found himself aching to bite that lip of yours.

“I’m sorry to disturb you, I just wanted to let you know.” You took a step back and he jumped out of his chair, scared that you were going to leave. He walked around his desk and stood in front of you. He had so many thoughts in his mind, so many things he wanted to say to you, but now, standing in front of you, he couldn’t get his mouth to move. “I was wondering if you have any other books.... I really liked that one.”

“I’m working on one right now. Do you want to read what I have right now?” He motioned to his desk where the book laid open on a blank page. He would love to see how you reacted to this new story.

“You’d let me do that?” Your eyes glimmered with a sort of emotion that he couldn’t quite name right now, but he made sure to memorize that look, wanting to add it into his new novel.

He reached behind him and grabbed the book, handing it to you carefully, making note of the way your lips turned up when the hard cover was placed into your open hands.

You found a way to curl up in the small armchair that he had in his office, it was the only other piece of furniture in the room, and he silently wished he had a couch so he could sit next to you. At least at his desk he could watch you silently reading, and that’s exactly what he did.

Your fingers brushed over a page, and he had a feeling he knew exactly what age it was. He couldn’t keep his eyes off you, and he didn’t even mind how awkward he felt when you peaked over the book to look at him. “I think the main character could be prettier.”

“I don’t understand. The main character is gorgeous.” Obviously she was gorgeous, the main character is you.

“You make her seem almost angelic, what if she’s not as beautiful as you make her seem?” Your eyes would go from him, then back to the pages, rereading his descriptions. You knew he was writing about you, but you didn’t understand why. There were so many beautiful woman out there, what made you so special?

“She’s not almost angelic, she is angelic. She’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever written.” It was easier to talk about you when he felt like he was talking about a character. He wasn’t as nervous, even if he knew that you knew it was about you.

“Hmmm...” You hummed, the same smirk-like smile on your face as you turned your face back to the pages.

He knew there wasn’t much left, he didn’t make it that far in the book before you came in. He nervously drummed his fingers on his desk while he waited for you to finish. The sound of the book closing caused his heart to stop. “I feel like the writer fell in love with the main character...” You whispered, your fingers brushing over the hardcover, tracing little patterns with your nails. “Do you think it’s possible for a character to fall in love with the writer?” You finally looked up from the book, staring at his face. He felt like you could see his eyes even with his hair covering them. His skin felt like it was on fire, and he was glad that the room was so dark so you couldn’t see the blush that burned beneath his cheeks.

“I wish they could...” He mumbled, watching you get up from the chair. He copied your movements, meeting you in the middle between his desk and the arm chair. He stared down at you, for once his hair wasn’t blocking his eyes, and you stared right into them. He was so close to you, he could feel the heat emanating off your body, he could see the way your cheeks were a bright shade of pink.

“I think she has.” Your voice was so quiet he could barely hear it, but he knew he heard that. He just couldn’t seem to get his mind to understand what you said, not before you stood on your tiptoes and pressed a soft swift kiss on his lips. Your gaze dropped as soon as you pulled back, and he was in so much shock he didn’t know what to do. “I’m sorry.” You mumbled, taking a step back.

It took him a second to wrap his mind around what just happened, but as soon as he did, he grabbed your waist and pulled you back to him, leaning in to kiss you back now, and it wouldn’t be quick. He had waited too long to feel your lips against his, he wasn’t going to let it end so fast.

Once he pulled back he couldn’t get rid of the large goofy grin on his face. Your entire face was bright red, but you didn’t pull out of his hold. You hid your face in his chest, and he rested his chin on the top of your head, wrapping his arms around you, savoring the feeling of you in his arms.

#bsd headcanons #bsd x reader #bsd imagines #bsd scenarios #bungou stray dogs x reader #bungo stray dogs #edgar allan poe #poe x reader #edgar allan poe x reader

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thankskenpenders · 5 years

Photo

Yeah, this is the big one. Grab your popcorn

Sally finally gets a moment to talk to Sonic after being ignored all day, and tells him what’s up. With her being put in charge, and Sonic being her royal consort (basically, the guy who’s committed to marrying her someday but isn’t quite her fiance yet), Sally wants Sonic to stop going on away missions and lead Knothole by her side

Look. Let’s set aside all of our preconceived notions about what a Sonic comic should or shouldn’t be. Ignore the fact that we obviously want to see Sonic go on adventures. Forget it. Let’s look at it from Sally’s perspective for a second

Yes, this is the post in which I explain that “The Slap” isn’t that bad. It’s certainly not great, but it’s not The Worst Thing Ever like it’s been made out to be. I wish I didn’t have to spend my evening writing this, but 15 years of hyperbolic fan outrage (note: some Wikia rando added that “reception” section this year) have forced my hand

First of all, again, Sonic is formally committed to marrying her and ruling alongside her someday. This was established ten issues ago. He was already committed to this. Then, Sonic went and died. Sally still spent an entire year of her life thinking her basically-fiance was dead, and had to deal with shit in Knothole without him as things continued to get worse and worse. No one can just bounce back from that unscathed. After his return, she WANTED to help Sonic and go be a Freedom Fighter on the last mission, but her parents forbade her and the royal guards kept her in the castle. (That SUCKS, but is a whole ‘nother conversation.) She wants to fight by his side and keep him safe, but her parents are forcing her to stay home and be the princess, which only makes her more distraught. Last issue, she broke down into tears when she saw Sonic get shot by M over Eggman’s video feed, and her mother had to console her and reassure her Sonic wasn’t dead

Sally very clearly has PTSD over Sonic’s “death” a year ago. She doesn’t want to lose him again. She’s outright said as much

And also... when she says Sonic isn’t the only hero around, she’s got a point?Sonic barely did anything in the last arc! Tails was the one who outsmarted ADAM. Shadow dealt with Eggman. Bunnie did most of the damage to M and took out an entire fucking aircraft carrier on her own. Knuckles, the Chaotix, Rouge, and Amy took out the robot horde. All Sonic did was land the final attack on M--which, honestly, someone else could’ve done. And he got his arm injured in the process

Add on to this all of the chaos of the last few days. Sally’s barely had a free moment to see Sonic since she found out he was alive. They nearly got nuked by Eggman. They’re being harangued by the paparazzi. It sucks. And hell, it goes back WAY further than this! She spent years as a kid trying to save her parents, and now all they do is belittle her. She found out she had a secret older brother, and then her parents decided he was the more important child. She went through all sorts of relationship drama. She nearly died a few times herself. And now, her parents have decided to leave her in charge of their whole kingdom at a time of war, while she’s still a mess from the trauma of losing Sonic. The idea Bollers had was apparently that Sally had been bottling up her issues for years (which she totally had been), and this was just the breaking point

I know Sonic’s desire to keep being a hero is understandable. I know he’s right. That’s all he really knows how to do, and he feels useless in times of peace. And obviously, we the readers want to see Sonic go on adventures. But Sally’s concerns are valid. We don’t have to agree with her plan to have Sonic rule by her side for her emotions to be understandable

Sally’s been on the verge of a breakdown for who knows how long. She should be mad at her parents, but they’ve worn her down to the point where she thinks she’s unable to confront them. (It would be very, very easy to make a case arguing that Sally’s parents are emotionally abusive. Max especially.) She thinks that Sonic is the one person who will listen to her and have her back. They’re betrothed, after all. This is literally what he signed up for. After trying to get his attention ALL DAY, she finally gets a chance to talk to him. But he wants other things in life, and refuses. In front of a crowd, no less

So she lashes out at Sonic and slaps him

Then they both start yelling at each other and crying. Sally asks Sonic if she’s more important to him than fighting Eggman, Sonic can’t answer, and Sally runs away in tears. For all intents and purposes, Sonic and Sally are now broken up. (For now.)

Should Sally be lashing out at Sonic? No. Could this scene be done better? Oh, absolutely. This is not the direction I would want Sally to go in as a character, and if you ARE gonna have them fight, this wasn’t written with the care required to make fans sympathize with both parties. The fact that we’ve seen everything from Sonic’s perspective with barely any insight into Sally’s certainly doesn’t help. But as the several lengthy paragraphs above explain, this does not come out of nowhere. It’s easy to find lots of fans online calling Sally all sorts of names (sometimes very misogynistic or ableist ones) because they think she just flipped out on Sonic out of nowhere. But she didn’t. Sally having some sort of breakdown had been foreshadowed for several issues, and the reasons why make sense. No, she shouldn’t have lashed out at Sonic, but this isn’t just her going “Oh no, my period! Let’s nuke England!” as so many have made it out to be. (And hell, the comics already had a lengthy history of treating Sally even worse than this, with Gallagher making her the nagging girlfriend who bickered with Sonic all the time and Penders sympathizing more with her shitty dad.)

Again, this was supposed to be a turning point in which Sally bottling up all this crap and carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders finally leads to her breaking. It’s a dramatic low point to build back up from. The problem is that Bollers left the series only a few issues later, and Penders and “Chacon” never did much with this. So in hindsight, many view this as her randomly snapping “for no reason,” because the followup stories that would have explored how she’d been bottling up her feelings were never actually written. But it’s not hard to figure out what’s supposed to be going on in her head if you actually go back and look at the preceding Sally scenes

For the most part, this is just run of the mill relationship drama for Archie Sonic. You see this kind of shit all the time in serialized media. Characters date, but the writers need to keep things ~spicy~, so they break up, see other people... then inevitably end up back together, and the process repeats ad nauseum. You ever watch Scrubs? You know how JD and Elliot are obviously love interests from episode one, but they had to do that will they/won’t they shit for years and have flings with other characters to keep up ratings? Yeah, it’s just that. For Sonic, there’s also the added pressure from Sega, who never allowed Sonic to be in any stable relationship for very long. Several writers have talked about how this limited what they could do with Sonic and Sally. Do I like that this cycle of drama is the norm? No. But after over 200 of these comics, I’m used to it

(And hell, at this point in the comics, they had literally just broken up Bunnie and Antoine, and Rouge was starting to get in the way of Knuckles and Julie-Su’s relationship. Between Julie-Su and Knuckles’ first kiss and them actually dating, Penders had Julie-Su get mad at Knuckles and go out with some random other guy. They do this shit all the time)

The worst you can really say about this scene is that Jon’s art is a little too goofy and undermines the drama a bit. In his own words from his website’s FAQ: “I’m sorry. Like I said, I was an overeager noob and I drew what I was given.” But really, he had been drawing these sorts of exaggerated, frantic expressions throughout the entire issue. Not just with Sally. Look at all the panels of Sonic wigging out in the previous pages. I still think his work is fantastic. If anything, it was a bad call on Archie’s part to give this somber scene to a brand new artist with a very exaggerated, silly art style. He just drew what was in the script

You know what really blows about this whole thing, though? Jon Gray is still, to this day, over 15 years later, getting harassed for drawing The Slap

That is so utterly ridiculous and shitty. People have made up all sorts of conspiracy theories about the slap, saying that Jon had some sort of “anti-Sally agenda” and that it wasn’t in the script. (This is completely false.) People are so stuck in the past and bent out of shape over this one panel in a pretty run-of-the-mill Archie Sonic issue that Jon has to block people who come into his Twitter mentions accusing him of “sabotaging” the series on a regular basis. Y’all, Jon’s a good guy, and he doesn’t deserve to be treated like that

And lord. There’s so much nastier shit within this series. Penders hooking a 15-year-old Sally up with a dude in his 20s (and later saying that he wanted her to lose his virginity to said dude). Gallagher making Barby Koala have a creepy crush on Tails. Penders rephrasing a poem about the Holocaust to be about hedgehogs. Penders having Sally rationalize her dad’s attempt at genocide. (I could go on and on with Penders, can you tell)

This whole thing is just, so blown out of proportion. It’s not a great scene, but it didn’t “ruin” Sally’s character. Neither Jon nor Bollers had some sort of “anti-Sally agenda.” They weren’t out to ruin your fucking ship. And for god’s sake, quit yelling at them about it. This was 15 years ago and all parties involved have moved on. It’s just more melodrama in a series that’s always 90% melodrama

It’s a single panel in a comic about Sonic the Hedgehog. Can we move on

#StH 134 #tkp post #the slap #hall of fame

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love-takes-work · 5 years

Link

Below, I’m sharing a long outline of what was discussed in this wonderful interview, for those who can’t or prefer not to listen but want to know the content. It is very long and I don’t feel like finding pictures so you’ll have to just enjoy it like it is. It’s not a transcript but it is, in my own words for the most part, a recitation of everything Susana and Rebecca talked about: musicals, the upcoming movie, animation influences, and quite a few things you did not already know.

Susana introduces the interview by saying that tons of attention is paid to the diversity and the characters and all this great stuff in the show, but she wants to talk about the science fiction aspects and the society and worldbuilding Rebecca and her team have put in. She begins by talking about how the show seems so planned considering aspects of the show's beginning feed so well into the end, and she asks Rebecca to talk about that.

Rebecca opens by saying it was conceived as a coming-of-age story, so a ton of stuff that the adults know, Steven doesn't know, allowing it to be a story about things that happened to adults but remain child-friendly. Rebecca brings up a college class on the sublime that she took, about what's going on and implied to be going on just outside the frame of the art, so she was really taken with that concept.

Rebecca claims that her planning is pretty dry, and it's just a bunch of charts. She had stuff like Fusion names and weapons from the beginning, and of course she couldn't use them in her pitch because it didn't make sense without knowing the characters. Susana mentions that CN wanted the show to be aired in no particular order, and Rebecca mentions how it was hard to work with because she DID want continuity. Planting seeds in episodes and giving puzzle pieces that'd come together later worked for a long time, while still making each episode work as a whole and be satisfying. Later, when CN came to them wanting like eight related episodes, there they had the barn arc to give them--they had already planned to make this story related. She felt it aired in a "bizarre" way, but they comforted themselves on the Crew knowing someday people would watch it how it was meant to be watched. As a lead-up to the movie, CN IS going to air "every Steven ever," so people will actually get to see it in marathon format.

Batman: The Animated Series comes up and they discuss how censorship limited what they could do on that show because of problems with glass breaking. Susana says she actually really appreciates it when stories can still be told well despite the constraints put on them, and asks Rebecca if that applies to SU. Rebecca agrees that it does, and also that she loves stuff like video games that managed to function with ridiculously small space requirements. Developers still offered up such creativity, she says. So because of the beauty that arises from those constraints, she thought she should have constraints in her show on purpose, even if it isn't applied from outside. The most obvious one for this show was that we're trapped into only knowing and seeing what Steven knows and sees. "The Test" is a good example of Steven actually seeing something he isn't supposed to see: the Gems having a private conversation about him. According to her, plenty of stuff is written about what the Gems are up to outside of what Steven knows about them, and they can only kind of hint at it.

Coming from Adventure Time, there were some similar aspects. Rebecca got to work with some of her heroes from independent comics, and she got a lot of inspiration from them. On Adventure Time, it's our world but far in the future, and Rebecca would have loved to do something similar with Steven because she loved that aspect. Quite a few of the Adventure Time crew had come over from Flapjack and they thought it would be funny if the Adventure Time characters found a tape of Flapjack. As much as it would have been cool to take that idea for her show, that was theirs, so Steven's is more like it's our Earth but in an alternate timeline where Gems invaded 6,000 years ago. She rattles off some known similarities and differences of our two worlds, and elaborates on how Hollywood is in Kansas because in that world Disney never left where they started. Laugh-O-Gram Studio took off like it didn't in our timeline. She has a ton of other info like that but it won't matter to reveal it until or unless it matters to Steven. (She also throws in that Harman-Ising could be Ising-Harman in her world if they never figured out how cute it would be to have it the other way.)

When Susana asks about how she took so many details and managed to make a pilot with enough of them that she could get a show with it, Rebecca takes a turn into discussing working on Hotel Transylvania (for just a month!) with Genndy Tartakovsky. She had been planning to have a month off, but then Genndy asked, so she of course couldn't say no and felt she learned a ton. (She wrote the Steven Universe theme song in the car during that commute, by the way, given that she had a lot of time to sing and be alone.) When she hit Genndy with some of her ideas, he advised her to slim the details down and just boil it into its essence--who are the people and what is their relationship to each other? She still uses that advice, trying to condense things from macro to micro. She has succeeded since in figuring out how to keep the complexity and still assert the simplicity. Ultimately, you can keep those details but you don't have to emphasize them if they're not feeding into the main point. They'll drag the piece down. They discuss Genndy's role as the Animation Director on her pilot, which happened when she was asking if he knew anyone and he ended up saying he'd do it himself. She was so shocked that he agreed to direct her pilot that she was dazed and ran into a pole in the parking lot. The whistling of the wind through the resulting dent always made her giddy because she was thinking she would be working with Genndy.

Susana then turns to discussing Rebecca's influences and brings up Revolutionary Girl Utena. Rebecca mentions that she initially saw Utena because a person named Connie lent it to her in high school, so that's where SU's Connie's name comes from. Rebecca points out how hilarious Utena is in addition to being beautiful. She felt it was formative because Utena was "gender expansive and bisexual." Rebecca saw the movie first (which she doesn't recommend doing), then saw the series and then the movie again. She wanted to understand why the characters were turning into cars. (Chronicler's note: I was equally baffled by the Utena movie's car chase and car transformation stuff in the early 2000s. I did not know what to make of it.)

Rebecca elaborates on Utena and art influences, saying she loves to trace artists' influences to see where their pieces were coming from. She saw that Utena is very influenced by Princess Knight, and she was thrilled to visit places in Japan that influenced Osamu Tezuka. The Takurazuka Theatre is in Tezuka's town, and Rebecca describes how every show there is performed only by women. She felt that having this theater there influencing Tezuka certainly inspired him to include gender expansiveness in his work. The influences are so obvious when you look at the sources, and now all of this that came through Tezuka's work then through Utena then to Rebecca is so incredible.

When Susana brings up trends and how magical girl stuff influenced today's creators, Rebecca says she prefers not to think of it as a trend really because some of what's roaring out in popularity now was always around but was actively prevented from being made in the past. She talks about watching Tenchi Universe (the "Universe" part of SU came from Tenchi!) and Sailor Moon on CN, knowing it wasn't American, but she didn't really realize it "didn't belong" on the network, and felt that her access to influences was really unusually open--especially since her dad was an animation nerd and had a bunch of unusual stuff that influenced her, especially stuff that gave her a peek into how animation actually worked and knowledge that she could be one of the people making it. If she could call anything a trend now, it's that that sort of access is now available to more people because of the interconnectedness of the Internet and how we're so much more capable of influencing each other now.

They then discuss some anime stuff they had been exposed to and how Rebecca helped with an intro to Whisper of the Heart which is her favorite movie. She discusses how that movie (and Kiki's Delivery Service) are good representations of creative processes and sometimes what happens if an artist is blocked. She thinks the actual craft and work associated with the process is more important (and more interesting) than talent. Rebecca adores artists who take notes and figure out how to make their stuff good versus a specific moment of inspiration or an artist just "bleeding" their talent on everything. Art is a craft! You can study it! This is front and center in Whisper of the Heart. Rebecca discusses the Russian movie Film Film Film (which influenced the Zircons' design), and it has a writer character who is afraid that his process will destroy something inspired by a muse. She thinks it's a really interesting look at process.

Next they discuss a science fiction story in another format: the book The Left Hand of Darkness by Ursula K. LeGuin. Kat Morris lent Rebecca the book while they were roommates at the very beginning of when the show was starting. She loved seeing how the world worked in the book through the way they treated the main character. They also discuss the artist Jules Feiffer, who Rebecca had a relationship with because she carpooled with his nephews. They gave her a book of his called A Barrel of Laughs, A Vale of Tears. She loved it so much, especially how it deconstructed fairy tale tropes. One story was about a prince whose special ability made people close to him laugh themselves senseless, so he really couldn't have a relationship with anyone. She considers this an influence on Pink Diamond as a character. The SU character Sadie was named after this book's character Plain Sadie.

Next, Susana asks about musical influences for the show. Rebecca names Patti LuPone first. She saw Patti as Mrs. Lovett in Sweeney Todd and remembers seeing her playing the tuba in this weird arrangement where the cast was also the orchestra. She was so impressed. When she later wrote to Patti asking her to be Yellow Diamond, she referenced learning from her that a person could be so dramatic that it's funny and vice versa. She also has a "chills" moment from a different show, during "Everything's Coming Up Roses," where the character she's playing is imagining an audience going wild but the actual audience IS going wild.

As they discuss how the upcoming movie is a musical, Rebecca talks about going home with Ian after work and putting on musicals or movies based on TV shows so they can "study" for what they're doing. She'd take notes about what works and what doesn't and why. She loves these old movies that dissolve into total weirdness by the third act. She references Ziegfeld Girl and Busby Berkeley movies, which were an influence on Homeworld's style. She subscribes to a philosophy attributed to Bob Fosse that characters have to be feeling something strongly if they're compelled to sing. She makes a reference to A Goofy Movie as a movie that moved from a TV show to a movie. She wished that movie had more songs.

Susana and Rebecca discuss the movie, some intense moments, the history of Goofy and how different some of the old versions of him are, and how a description of Goofy by Art Babbitt was influential on her. She loves that cartoons can be so many things, and she adores studying moments from them and incorporating them. There are some really horrifying discoveries you can make, but you can also reinterpret some of the beautiful moments and stir them together to get new brilliance.

Susana says many songs in Steven Universe become the centerpiece of an episode, but in "Mr. Greg" it's more like a typical musical even though it's an episode of a cartoon show. Rebecca agrees that it was great practice for the movie. She was more moved by that episode coming back than any other so far by that point. She also felt that "For Just One Day Let's Only Think About (Love)," the song, was a great practice musical song--especially since there's all that chatting in between singing. That song was really influenced by A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum's song "Comedy Tonight." She finds those kinds of musicals so much fun. She was influenced in "Mr. Greg" by Victor/Victoria--specifically the song "Crazy World" when the camera is panning around the protagonist (who's wearing a suit). They're of course dated, but they contain beautiful moments. She took home some of the Pearl drawings from "It's Over, Isn't It" when she went to the studio in Korea. (Yes, Steven Universe is animated on paper, though the color is digital.) Elaborating on "Mr. Greg," she says the episode became much simpler and sweeter--originally there was some intense stuff in there, like Pearl picking up cars and throwing them at Greg.

Back to the movie, Susana points out that Rebecca's been studying how to make a conversion to a cinematic story versus a really long TV episode. What makes something feel like a movie? Rebecca struggles to figure out how to talk about it without saying too much. She figures you have to dig into the fundamentals of the show--make a movie about something new, but something basic. She loved the Dexter movie and it was so smart. Rebecca has a weird connection to the Beavis and Butt-Head movie too (some of her crew worked on the movie!), but she thinks even that movie is smart because they're all about watching TV and in the movie their TV is taken.

Susana then asks about the movie length format and how it felt from going from a very short TV format to a movie. Rebecca's word to describe it is "terrifying." The episode "Change Your Mind" was 44 minutes and that was a ridiculously long format for them--but it carried the extra baggage of tying up so much of what they'd dumped into the show. Rebecca said they couldn't really even "feel good" about finishing it because the immediate next step was something that was so much more of everything hard about "Change Your Mind." Rebecca elaborates on the elements that were ramped up for the movie and concludes "What I'm trying to say is I'm really tired." She's really, really excited for us to see it. It's so different than a bunch of episodes tied together, even if it was eight "Mr. Greg" episodes. All the pieces have to be awesome and then tied together have all the pieces inform each other. She remembers being impressed by anime as a kid because it usually told interconnected stories, and she thought that would be really hard; turns out self-contained episodes are even harder, and she has to kind of do both on her show. She thinks of her songs like that too--they must be good on their own, but they enhance each other by all being part of the same work and building something better together.

Finally, Susana asks what comes next after Steven Universe--one day, when the show does end, what does Rebecca want to do? Well, take time off, write some guitar songs, write poetry no one will ever see, and so on. Rebecca says that her head is really in SU now though, and there's so much more to do--yes, there is more to tell that comes after the movie, and she wants us to know there are also stories that belong in that two-year gap between the end of "Change Your Mind" and the beginning of the movie, but she feels this is a good place to stop talking. She's so excited about everything we have yet to see.

#steven universe #crewniverse #rebecca sugar #rebecca sugar interview #susana polo

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brittle-bone-gabe · 5 years

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A Losers Thanksgiving

Basically, I bought It: Chapter 2 a week ago and adored rewatching when the Losers reunited at the restaurant and had to write something based on that. Summary: Shortly after getting married, Ben and Beverly invite the Losers Club over for Thanksgiving. Pairings: Adult Reddie (Richie x Eddie), Adult Benverly (Ben x Beverly) Read on Ao3: Here

After the ordeal back in Derry, Maine it wasn’t a surprise that Beverly Marsh and Ben Hanscom ended up leaving together to go to Lincoln, Nebraska; just like Richie and Eddie left together to go to Chicago. The thoughts of Bev’s ex-husband faded when she moved into Ben’s house, every bad, abused memory that she ever had also faded. This was the first time in her life she was ever treated right by a man, she’d be lying if she said she didn’t use to flinch whenever Ben moved too quickly around her. Well, while Ben understood where she was coming from, he did everything he could to make her feel more comfortable and secure. It wasn’t long before she started feeling comfortable around him, acting like both best friends while still dating. The best kind of relationship. Of course, Ben had a feeling that if she had reason to, Bev would kick his ass.

Richie and Eddie got married before Ben and Beverly did; only a week apart. It wasn’t planned, it just sort of happened, and they couldn’t help but laugh about that. Of course something like that would happen to the Losers. Back to back Loser weddings were the best. Although, Richie always pointed out that his wedding was better for the fact he put small bags of weed underneath the Losers seats. Well... that’s what was supposed to happen, but Eddie’s mother sat in a chair they weren’t expecting her to and instead of something normal under her seat she had a small bag of weed. Whoops. Richie didn’t hear the end of that for almost a year, now he and Eddie’s mom couldn’t make eye contact with each other.

Ben and Beverly’s wedding was normal for the most part. It was certainly a beautiful one at that with all the Losers showing up. Beverly’s uncle, who she saw as a father, walked her down the aisle all while Ben was keeping everything he had to not cry. Ben remembered looking out to see Richie tease him by moving a finger down his cheek, implying that he was going to cry. Making sure nobody was looking, Ben threw him a discreet middle finger. Richie was about to retaliate, but both Eddie and Stan punched him on either arm.

At this point, the Losers had a lot of pictures of each other at weddings; beautiful, formal pictures, and a lot of drunken pictures. With all the years apart they needed to catch up for lost time, this was the perfect way to do it too. Mike Hanlon had a lot of the formal pictures set up at his desk at work, but at home he had the stupid ones hung up on the wall. Richie wanted to hang up the pictures where Eddie was clearly drunk out of his mind, but Eddie refused, saying that he will burn the house down if he did that. Maybe Richie would risk it. Bill had a wedding photo taken of all the Losers set as his laptops background, always looking back on it whenever he was in a state of writers block.

-----

Bev was moving around the house, putting up Thanksgiving decorations, being sure not to get in Ben’s way since he was on a video conference with a large group of people and didn’t want to get in the way of that. Thanksgiving was next week and she was excited, it was their first holiday being husband and wife and she wanted everything to be perfect. Plus, she always wanted to decorate a house with holiday decor; she wasn’t allowed to at her fathers house and when she moved to aunt and uncles they never really decorated either. Ben, on the other hand, welcomed it. They went out together, picking things out that would look good for the house. Ben remembered the huge smile on Bev’s face as she picked up decor items, holding it up to him, asking if he thought it would look good. Of course, he would always agree, a smile just as big on his own face.

While she was decorating, holding the fake turkey in her hands while standing in the kitchen, Bev stopped, getting a fantastic idea. She absolutely could not wait for Ben to get off the conference call to ask him about it. Bev was thinking: Hey, this would be mine and Ben’s first holiday, why not get the Losers in on it? Oh, hell yeah, that would be an amazing time.

The moment Ben closed his laptop, letting out a sigh, moving into the kitchen where Beverly was still in, standing on the counter as she was putting little turkey stickers on the window. Ben came up behind her, putting his hands on her waist to make sure she wouldn’t fall backwards. Bev giggled as he helped her down.

“It’s looking great!” Ben said, a smile on his face before planting a kiss on Beverly’s forehead.

“This is my favorite!” She picked up the fake turkey plush that was sitting on the kitchen island. “Squeeze it!” She held it out to him. Ben took it from her, doing what he was instructed to do. Gobble, gobble, gobble. “Isn’t it cute!”

Ben couldn’t help but laugh, putting the plush on his wife's head. “It’s so cute, just like you.” Bev stood on her toes, giving Ben a kiss as the plush toy slid off her head and to the floor.

“Sooo... I had an idea for Thanksgiving,” she said, picking up the plush.

“Hmm... more decorations?”

Bev laughed. “N- well, yes, but no. What if we invited the Losers for Thanksgiving?”

Ben loved that idea. It was a few months ago since they seen their best friends for their wedding, but having them over for a holiday? That would be amazing.

“That...” Ben wrapped his arms around Bev’s waist, pulling her in close, “is a fantastic idea. Do you think they’ll come?”

“I hope so.”

-----

Thankfully all of the Losers decided to drop whatever (if they had any) plans they originally had for Thanksgiving to travel to Lincoln, Nebraska to see Bev and Ben for the holidays. Yeah, Bill and Stan’s family wasn’t too thrilled about the idea that they wouldn’t be around for Thanksgiving, but they managed to get out of it by bringing up the fact it’s been a long time since the Losers were together and never around each other during the holidays. Yeah, Stan had to sleep on the couch for awhile, but he was still able to go. Bill had bought his plane ticket as soon as he got off the phone with Ben. Mike didn’t really have anything going on anyways, thankfully he didn’t work on Thanksgiving, in fact, he was originally was just going to order a pizza for the night and watch movies back to back until he fell asleep. So getting that phone call turned his entire mood around.

Eddie got an earful from his mother when he called to tell him that he and Richie weren’t going to make it to the family Thanksgiving dinner they had every year. She was trying to guilt trip him into going, and Eddie almost gave in, but Richie held his fingers up to his own head, pretending to shoot himself, dramatically leaning to his side as if he were dead. While he was trying to be funny he accidentally slipped and fell off his chair, landing on the floor with a thud as the chair slipped and fell on him. Eddie rolled his eyes, saying that they couldn’t make it. He kept apologizing, saying he loved her before hanging up the phone.

“You’re a goddamn idiot,” he told Richie, who pulled himself up from the floor, his joints cracking as he did. “God, you’re old.”

Richie laughed, flipping his husband off with both middle fingers. “Fuck you.” Eddie got back on his phone, looking for flights. “What’cha doin’?”

“Booking before it’s too late,” Eddie said, his eyes focused on the screen.

“Or... or, or...” Richie said, covering his phones screen, “we could drive there.”

“Drive...?” Eddie asked, looking up at Richie who nodded, a goofy smile on his face. “It’s only a two hour flight, driving would take, like...” he looked it up quickly, “seven and a half hours.”

“Awww, c’mon, Eddie Spaghetti! Road trip!”

“I can barely handle being in the house with you, do you think I could handle being stuck in a confined space with you?”

Richie put a hand on his chest, looking hurt. “Ouch... you hurt me.”

“Good.” Richie blinked a few times, not sure what to say. “...Fine, but I’m driving.”

“Oh... I’d rather walk. I’d get there faster.”

-----

Thanksgiving finally rolled around, Beverly was overly excited as she was pacing back and forth, waiting for the Losers to show up. She had woken up early with Ben as they started working on Thanksgiving dinner, stressing herself out about it, but Ben had to reassure her that the Losers said they were going to be bringing stuff too so she didn’t have to do everything. God, Bev never hosted a dinner before, she didn’t know what she should or shouldn’t do, what would or wouldn’t be too much. She knew that the Losers couldn’t care less if the dinner wasn’t perfect, they would just enjoy the time together, but she was still panicking.

Ben came up behind her, putting his hands on her shoulders, giving her a small massage.

“It’s perfect,” he told her, kissing her cheek, “they’ll just be happy to get some free food.” They both laughed as the door bell rang.

As they were making their way to open it, it changed to constant ringing of the door bell then someones hand pounding on the door.

“Let us in!” Ben and Bev heard Mike and Stan yell from the other side.

As soon as they opened the door they saw Richie shove handfuls of snow down Mike and Stan’s shirts. Bev covered her mouth to hide her smile as the two men screamed from the freezing cold. Richie was laughing so hard that he had no idea that Bill was coming up behind him with a handful of snow as well. He wrapped his arm around Richie’s throat, forcing the snow in his face before backing off, laughing.

“No! Why!” Richie shouted, spiting the snow out of his mouth, taking off his now blurry glasses. The moment Richie cleared off his glasses and put them back onto his face, he was met with a snow ball thrown by Eddie. “Oh, you are so fuckin’ dead, Tozier,” Richie said, picking up some snow, forming it into a snow ball.

Eddie panicked, not wanting to get hit with the dirty snow, so he ran behind Ben to use as a shield.

“Be nice to Eddie!” Bev said, folding her arms over her chest.

“Yeah, man, why do you wanna hurt Eddie?” Mike added, still trembling from the cold.

“Wh-” Richie started.

“Such an asshole, dude,” Stan added.

“What is with this attack on me right now?”

“Gotta be nice to Eddie, man,” Bill said, purposely bumping into Richie’s shoulder as he walked past him.

Richie saw Eddie give him the middle finger as he was making his way into the house with everyone else. Oh, yeah. He was so fuckin’ dead.

Everyone took off their snow covered shoes so they wouldn’t track any snow into the beautiful house. Everyone set the bags that they brought on the dining room table. Everyone showed what they brought for dinner; Bill brought cornbread, Stan brought wine, Mike brought pumpkin pie, and Richie and Eddie brought... brownies. Well, actually Richie baked them himself... well... he baked two different batches, making sure to leave... one... at home. Eddie had no idea what that was about, but whatever, it was something.

“It’s the only thing I know how to bake,” Richie said, slapping Mike’s hand away from the brownies.

“Since when do you bring brownies for Thanksgiving?” Ben wondered, trying to get under the lid of the brownies.

“Since... shut the fuck up or you don’t get any,” he replied, then slapped Ben’s hand away. “I guess if you don’t want them...”

Stan put a hand on Richie’s shoulder. “Thank you, Trashmouth.”

“At least someone appreciates me.”

The Losers moved into the living room, taking the time to relax from their long trip as dinner was finishing up. Ben, Bev, and Stan gathered on the couch, Mike took the reclining chair on the left of the couch, Eddie took the other chair on the right with Richie sitting in between his legs so Eddie could stoke his hair, and Bill sat on the coffee table.

They were talking, catching up on what’s been going on since they last saw each other. Well, there wasn’t too much since they had a group chat called Losers Club where they made sure they kept in contact. It was nice, but meeting up in person to speak face-to-face was even better.

“I saw your Netflix Special, Trashmouth,” Mike started, rocking back and forth slightly in the chair.

“Oh yeah? What’d you think?”

Mike breathed out a laugh. “You fuckin’ suck.”

Everyone playfully agreed, Eddie ruffling his husbands hair like he used to do to him when they were kids. He finally had the upper hand on him.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, you’re all fuckin’ critics. Thank you,” Richie said, waving a hand. “It’s probably better than Bill’s movies though.”

“Hmm... No... Bill’s stuff is better,” Stan said before taking a sip of his beer.

“Okay... cool, cool, cool,” Richie started, digging through his leather jacket pocket, some crinkling sounds came from it, “would someone who fuckin’ sucks have these?” He pulled out a baggie filled with rolled joints, holding it up for the Losers to see.

Eddie’s eyes went wide, smacking Richie on the side of the head lightly. “That’s why you didn’t want to fuckin’ fly!”

“So smart, Eds,” Richie said with a smile, his head cranked back to look up at his husband.

“Just like old times!” Bev said, fist bumping Richie who had opened the bag of joints. “Give it here, Trashmouth.” After taking a single joint out of the baggie for him, and maybe Eddie, Richie passed it over to Bev who took one before passing it along.

“Absolutely not,” Eddie said, sitting back in his seat when his husband held up the joint to him.

“I didn’t light it yet.”

“No.” The Losers started ganging up at him, trying to encourage him to at least take one hit.

“What about the time when you smoked that cigarette?” Bill asked him, waiting for Bev to pass the lighter.

“The time you what?!” Richie blurted out, not believing what he just heard.

“Shut up, dude!” Eddie hissed at him.

“You fuckin’ smoked a cigarette? When?!” Ben asked before putting the joint around his lips, taking a hit.

“I remember that!” Mike blurted out, lighting up his joint. He took a quick hit, holding the smoke in his lungs before letting it escape. “It was you, me, Bev, and Bill.”

“I was tricked into doing it!” Eddie tried defending himself, but everyone groaned at his response. “I have asthma, I wouldn’t-”

“Oh, but you did,” Bev added after her hit. “I remember I had to help you put it in your mouth because it was the wrong goddamn way.”

Mike started laughing. “Then he was too scared to light it.”

“Well... looks like I have some new material for my next show...” Richie said as he took a long drag of the joint.

“If you fucking put that in your show I will kill you, dude,” He said, flicking his ear lightly.

“Just... try it!” Richie held it up to him.

Eddie’s eyes went wide seeing a joint so close to his face, never in his life did he think that he would actually consider smoking pot. Well, his doctor had given him a medical card for it due to his high anxiety, but he’s never used it once, hell, he didn’t even pick up the physical card. In fact, he never told Richie that, knowing that he’d pay him to buy him some weed. Well... shit.

He took the joint from him, taking a quick glance around the room, the Losers were watching him, waiting for him to take his first hit.

“If any of you tell anyone I smoked cannabis-”

“Call it weed or pot like everyone else,” Ben said, punching Eddie’s arm playfully.

“...if any of you tell anyone I smoked pot I will fight you.”

“Go! Go! Go! Go!” Richie chanted loudly, shaking Eddie’s legs, which spiked the shorter mans anxiety. “Up! Up! Up!” He reached up, grabbing Eddie’s wrist, guiding the joint in between his lips.

Eddie was slightly resisting Richie pushing the joint at him. “Don’t you understand the health risks of smoking cannabis?!” He started, everyone was buckling up to try to understand his quick speech patterns that was about to come. “It can harm your lung tissues. Did you know your lungs can scar up? Because that’s exactly what’ll happen! All those blood vessels can get damaged and-” He was stopped when Richie managed to get the joint in between his lip.

Eddie grabbed the joint in between his fingers, Richie let go of it, but kept his hand up by Eddie’s face, ready to grab the joint when he was done. He took a pretty long drag, longer than anyone had expected him to.

“Whoa, easy, Eds,” Beverly warned.

Everyone was telling Eddie that that was enough, that he needed to let it go. Richie took the joint from his husband, waiting for him let out the smoke, but he was holding it in his mouth. Mike, Bill, and Bev remembered a scene similar to this before; when they were fourteen he did the exact same thing when trying his first and only cigarette. Eddie started choking, letting all the smoke he was holding onto. His cheeks were heavily flushed as this point, tears were beading up in his eyes.

The Losers laughed at him, Eddie held up his middle finger as he was trying to catch his breath, trying to stop coughing.

“No more weed for you,” Ben said, reaching over to pat his back.

“I-” Eddie paused, coughing up a lung, “agree,” he said coughing even more.

“Proud of my boy!” Richie said with the joint in between his lips, reaching up to ruffle his hair.

The Losers sat around in silence. Nobody was saying anything, not on purpose, but because they were all so stoned that they had no idea what was going on right now. Eddie had his back pressed against the chair, slouching. Even though he had one hit, it was a large hit and he’s never been high before, unlike the others, so he was up on Cloud Nine. Richie was playing with his fingers, making sure he was still alive as he lit up another joint.

“What?” Bill asked the empty air, thinking that somebody had said something.

Everyone glanced at one another, trying to figure out who said what.

“What?” Bev asked him.

They all started laughing for no reason.

This is exactly what they all missed being around each other in real life. Just sitting around, talking, maybe smoking some pot, just enjoying each others company. They needed to do this more often. Well, minus the weed part; save that for special occasions.

Everyone jumped when the oven from the kitchen beeped, letting Ben and Bev know that the turkey they’ve been waiting on was finally ready. The two high hosts grabbed each others hands, leaning against each other for support as they went into the kitchen. They kept giggling, turning off the oven before doing anything else so they wouldn’t forget later. Having the house burn down on Thanksgiving was something they didn’t wanted to happen. Ben put on oven mitts, pulling the turkey out, carrying it to the table where the rest of the Losers were slowly migrating their way over. Richie and Stan each had to grab Eddie’s arms, pulling him to his feet. He had to lean against Richie, who had to practically drag him to the table, pulling out a chair for him to sit.

Mike and Bill helped Bev and Ben bring the food out to the large table. Stan was staring at the table, not particularly at anything, not being able to focus on anything. He did smell food, however, that eventually snapped out of it. Everyone else took a seat, Ben at the head of the table with Bev to his left, holding hands. Everyone was passing around the wine that Stan had brought.

Bev giggled. “I want to make a toast,” she announced, holding her wine glass up, “to the Losers Club. Nothing or nobody can break us apart!”

Everyone cheered, clinging their wine glasses together, taking a sip before digging in to their Thanksgiving meal.

Everyone was laughing, talking again. They were still high as kites, but now that food was in the equation they were no longer like zombies, now everything was lively again. Richie kept cracking horrible jokes that didn’t make sense to anyone but himself; nobody was sure if it was because Richie wasn’t forming proper sentences, or if it was because they were so fuckin’ high and just couldn’t understand. He pressed his forehead on the table, his fork pointed at the ceiling that was holding a piece of turkey, laughing at something he didn’t say but rather was thinking. The rest of the Losers were laughing at him, having no idea what was going on.

“We... we gotta do this more often,” Ben said, mixing his mash potatoes and gravy together, “y’know, not just on holidays.”

Everyone agreed with him on that.

“Once a month,” Mike proposed before taking a sip of his wine.

Everyone could agree to that.

“Once a week,” Bill then said.

Again, everyone agreed to that as well. There was a pause between everyone before they agree that... no. Not once a week. Once a month would work better.

“Once a goddamn month. You’ll all get sick of us,” Richie said, wrapping his arm around Eddie’s shoulders, whose eyes were wide as he had no idea what was going on as Richie pulled him close.

“No... they’ll get sick of you,” Eddie corrected him once he processed what his husband said. “I’m the least annoying one here.”

“Bullshit!” Ben said to Eddie. “We have to listen to you talklikethisaboutmedicalthings,” he mocked, speaking as fast as he possible could.

“Fuck off, bro.”

After sitting around eating for an hour, the majority of the food was practically gone, the pies were gone there was only one thing left. Richie’s brownies. At first everyone had insisted that they were too full to eat anymore, but Richie convinced them. They all sat around in the living room, back in their spots eating the brownies in silence.

“Um... Rich?” Stan said out loud, inspecting the brownie he bit into.

“Yeah?”

“...is... are... are these pot brownies?”

The Losers looked over at Richie, who was sitting on the floor in between Eddie’s legs.He stopped mid chew, looking at the brownie. They looked like normal brownies... the room smelt like pot for sure, but... He sniffed it, his eyes going wide when he realized his mistake.

He got the pot brownie batch he made mixed up with the normal brownie batch.

“Oh, fuck...” he said, looking up. “Um... my bad?” He said quietly with a shrug.

That didn’t make a difference to the Losers, in fact, they started laughing at his mistake. They finished up the brownies, just because they might as well, right?

Yeah. That was a fuckin’ mistake.

Mike was the one who passed out first in the reclining chair, his head drooped back as he let out soft snores. Bill followed suit, laying down on the coffee table just to ‘rest his eyes,’ but ended up falling asleep the moment he shut his eyes. Ben and Bev fell asleep on the couch, Ben slouching on the couch with Bev in his arms, Stan had his legs draped across their laps, using the arm rest as a pillow. Eddie was whining about wanting to be held, so he and Richie switched spots on the chair that Eddie had been hogging; Eddie curled up on Richie’s lap, his head pressed against his chest, the sound of his heart beating put him to sleep. Richie was out the moment he wrapped his arms around his Eddie Spaghetti.

They were all so fuckin’ high that they slept through the entire rest of the day through the night without as much as a sound. Nobody woke up, not even to get water or go to the bathroom. This was the best sleep that the seven of them had in years, who knew how great pot could be for sleep. It felt like old times when the Losers would spend the night at each others houses, staying up all night just enjoying each other until they all passed out.

This was the best Thanksgiving any of the Losers ever fuckin’ had.

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florrickandassociates · 4 years

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TGF Thoughts: 3x08-- The One Where Kurt Saves Diane

I wrote this over the span of, like, a full year and it is not very interesting. I am posting it simply because I am committed to the idea of writing something about every episode of this series. I recommend that you go check out Evil instead of reading this.

I’m just not intrigued by the clips of news footage about some sort of “Unredacted Unspecified Report” that open this episode.

Diane doesn’t seem to be that interested either: she’s not watching and talks over it.

More interesting (but, tbh, not actually that interesting to me either, because I’m losing interest in this season) is that Diane gets a letter of warning from a ~mysterious source~.

Most interesting of all: Diane and Kurt have a normal morning together.

Kurt spots the letter first and opens it. STOP DIANE. THEY KNOW ABOUT THE HACK. So maybe it’s directed at Kurt. Or maybe it’s supposed to say, “Stop, Diane.”

I still haven’t warmed to Diane’s bedroom set, especially because it still feels like Diane lives in her bedroom and her home has no other rooms.

Joy, Felix Staples has returned. All I have to say about this case is that the day this ep aired, basically what’s happening in this case happened in real life, because… Kings.

Hello, it’s October now and I suddenly felt like returning to The Good Universe and writing. It’s been a while.

My memory of this episode/arc is that Diane and Liz just did something uncharacteristically dumb and illegal, and this is the episode where Kurt secretly puts an end to the shenanigans without Diane even knowing. I remember this episode being satisfying, if only because it got rid of the aforementioned dumb and illegal plot. Let’s see how good my memory is.

Wait why don’t I remember Roger Bart being on this show and why didn’t I note it earlier?! How could I let George The Killer Pharmacist go unmentioned?!

On that note, how did I not use the opening scene of the season (Diane saying “I’m happy” as an excuse to ramble about how weird it is to experience happiness on a personal level in today’s world?) (I was just watching 3x01.)

I’m actively not watching the case scenes so they don’t kill my drive to actually write this.

Oh God, I’m going to have to deal with Blum again at some point. I had blocked out his bloviating. I think this is the last of the Blum/Maia free eps?

The weird Lucca/British actor plot is still happening!!!! I didn’t miss it during all those months in which I wasn’t reminded of it.

The joke about how these TV lawyers aren’t like other TV lawyers, except they are, was funny the first time.

Always great to see how Lucca, who is the head of a department at this point, gets called into other cases frequently. Definitely how things work.

Is it bad that I’m more interested in making a mental list of all the times TGF/TGW have filmed in this little park than this Marissa/Alan Alda scene?

I can see why this is the episode that made me stop writing these for a bit. So far, this ep is all case and a subplot I don’t care for.

You know what else was funny the first time and has hit a point of diminishing returns? The thing where a main character’s love interest shows up in court and then they get thrown off their game and it’s CUTE FLIRTING!!! Find a new, unique way to signal interest, writers!

This gag now involves literal gagging. I’m overjoyed.

Lucca’s monologuing at a toilet about her crush. This plot is cute. It isn’t bad. It is watchable. BUT! I know it’s a novelty, so I’m just not that excited by it or invested in it. It’s not really deepening my understanding of Lucca.

Lucca picturing everyone in court in their underwear is just unnecessary and honestly not funny???

Kurt leaves the warning note out for Diane to see. He confronts her about it and she asks for a drink.

The credits are at 19 minutes in. I do love them. Have any of you watched Evil yet? I watched part of the first episode (I intend to go back to it, I’ve just been busy) and the credits resemble the TGF credits. (Update as of March 2020: I watched all of Evil and you should too.)

Diane tells Kurt about Book Club or #Resistance or whatever I was calling it. Even though Diane doesn’t tell him the full story (mostly for his own protection, and she makes it clear she’s omitting stuff), I do appreciate that Diane and Kurt don’t keep secrets from each other, and if/when they do, they talk about it openly and calmly. I love them.

(I have blocked out Kurt/Holly almost entirely. I know it’s canon, but I still don’t believe it was anything other than a plot device to motivate some unnecessary drama in the TGW finale. God, that finale was bad. Ghost Will? Kurt cheating? GENEVA and Peter? GHOST WILL? Even the slap, which is one of my favorite parts, is more powerful as a symbol than as an actual plot development, since (1) Alicia betraying Diane is something Pilot!Alicia would’ve done to any friend to protect her family and (2) it stems from the nonsense about Kurt cheating and Peter tampering with evidence. What a letdown of a finale. The Kings are lucky they got to redeem themselves with TGF.)

(As anyone who’s had a one-on-one convo with me about the TGW finale at any point in the last three years will tell you, I will NEVER tire of discussing it, even if it means rehashing the same points over and over and over.)

I forgot about the thing where it wouldn’t stop storming in season 3.

Don’t have much to say about Kurt devising a plan to help Diane get out of trouble, but I do find it very fun!

OOOOH this is the episode about censorship that got censored!!! If you haven’t already, do read Emily Nussbaum’s piece about the behind-the-scenes drama of this episode. I thought the “this content has been censored” screen where the short would have been was a joke… but it was actually censored. That may be the most interesting thing about this episode.

I want more character-driven plots. I want more Liz and Lucca. I have nothing to say.

Book Club still believes the con artist who brought them together is something other than a con artist. Book Club is not that smart for being a collection of very smart people.

“So the whole group is bullshit?” Liz asks when Diane loops her in. Yes. But also, like, this is what happens when you do illegal shit with a group formed by a literal con artist. Liz may have an excuse for trusting the group (Diane brought her in), but why does DIANE trust them?

“My life is simple, Diane. I have a son. I have a mortgage. I have my job. And I go from home to work and work to home. So this stuff is, this bullshit intrigue… I’m done. Too much drama,” Liz laments, about a week too late. Where was this last week when Liz was like YES LET’S DO CRIMES?

One of my problems with the whole Book Club arc is that it makes very little sense that Liz would get involved in the first place. I understand why she would be sympathetic to their cause and willing to look the other way on their methods… if she were watching a news report about them on TV. She’s too practical, and has too much to lose, to get involved with a group like this.

An NSA nerd is back!! He’s the one warning Diane!

Okay, picking this back up in March 2020 because *gestures at the world* I have time. Like, I have so much free time I’ve finished 9 books in the last 14 days AND finally made it to the episodes of The Sopranos with JMargs. I began watching The Sopranos in 2017.

As I write this, I have no idea if TGF is coming back on April 9th as planned or not. Unless there’s something in the works for season 4 that can’t possibly be left unfinished or air today, I think they should air whatever they have now. TGF is always timely, and while scenes set in an office are suddenly feeling weird and implausible, they’ll probably play better now than in six months. And we’d all forgive the writers if they had to wrap up the arcs through an animated recap song.

It’s been a while since I’ve seen the TGF credits so I rewound to watch the credits. I went to 2 minutes into the episode, then remembered… they’re 20 minutes in.

Y’all. They blow up a purse with hand sanitizer in it. Did they predict this?!

I wrote that preamble and then stopped writing. But now we know that TGF is really coming back on April 9th, which means I have to stop watching The Sopranos and write these things!

Ah, Felix Staples. I haven’t missed you!

Case stuff happens. Really riveting episode, this one. (It is an interesting case, though.)

Kurt saving Diane is pretty fun. But I don’t have anything to say about it and to write about it would just to be to give a half-assed play by play… and why?

Oh WOW, Lucca and Downton Abbey guy is still happening?!

Getting to see Kurt be really competent and caring is the best thing, by far, about the Book Club arc.

Wait, I take that back, Liz’s speech about voter suppression is also pretty high up there-- as long as you ignore the context.

V excited (!!) to get back to Maia’s bullshit in the next few episodes, not because I want to watch it but because if there’s one thing I’m actually motivated to write about, it’s how the show has handled Maia Rindell. Also, they handle the next few episodes well for her.

Oh RIGHT Liz tells ChumHum about her dad’s sexual harassment issues! And Adrian and Liz are finally going to tell the press! It may mean losing Neil Gross, though.

Book Club is over! Wooooooooooooooooooooo! On to more interesting things!!!

Also gone? Downton Abbey guy, who gave an interview about something new and exciting in his life. Lucca thought he was talking about her, and he was talking about some...personality test that sounds like a cult from the way he describes it? AAAAAND I Googled it and yup. It is. What a goofy ending to this arc I didn’t care about. Reminds me of the way the Marilyn arc ended (with a cameo from a celebrity who she was supposedly sleeping with). Glad the actor was so game to poke fun at himself, but is this the best we can do for Lucca?

Diane thinks she took care of the hack and made it go away. Kurt lets her take the credit.

The end!

#the good fight #is coming back soon!!!!#tgfthoughts #yes i still check this thing

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the-ghost-and-the-writer · 5 years

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NSFW Alphabet-Peter Pettigrew (Marauder Era)

Okay, but like, late Marauder Era. Just before leaving Hogwarts Marauder Era, so that’s like only just 18. Also, I’ve never really thought about any Maruader era fancast things before, but I think Alex Lawther does fit how I imagine him pretty well. Not perfect, but close.

((ALSO also, I am working on everything but writer’s block is a bitch. However, with a few more weeks before I have to be back working, we have time.))

18+ F!Reader

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

He’s very affectionate at the best of times, but after sex it comes out in droves. He’ll nuzzle against your neck and kiss you so much that it tickles, until you push him away and then he’ll make sure that you’re okay and that you enjoyed it.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Peter loves your face. It sounds quite shallow, but he did first fall for how beautiful you are and each day he spends around you just adds to his adoration of you.

He doesn’t see that there is much he can like about himself. He doesn’t see himself at the level of attractiveness of the other boys and he knows he wouldn’t stand out in a crowd at all. However, with your attentions lavished on him, he’d start to warm to his pudgy cheeks

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

Regardless of the mess, he likes to cum on your chest. It just seems dirty and the mere thought of it can ruin his thought process

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

While usually he tries to make sure the two of you are quiet when you sneak into his dorm at night, if the others have been teasing him a bit too much about your relationship then he will let a few louder noises slip and will try to draw some from you as well. He always says it’s an accident.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

You’re his first. He’s not had much luck in getting attention from anyone, not like the other marauders, so he’s not at all experienced

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

He likes when you ride him, taking control over everything. It leaves him the ability to just look at you and touch you, which usually overwhelms him

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

His nerves do make him quite goofy, apologising over silly little things with a smile and blushing at every opportunity. It’s quite cute really.

H = Hair (How well-groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

He doesn’t care how groomed he is down there, as long as he’s clean that’s enough for him. Unless it would bother you, he doesn’t seem to be changing that

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

With how much effort Peter puts into every aspect of your relationship, as though making up for the fact that he isn’t as ‘good’ as the other marauders, it has led to quite a few intimate moments. They are, however, limited due to the settings available.

With help from his friends, he has more than once broken so many rules to have some privacy with you after curfew in areas no-one would find you, usually not even intending to have sex

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

Please. He’s a young man, in his first sexual relationship with someone he is sure is out of his league. Any moment he has alone, or at least when everyone else is asleep, he is touching himself.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

He hasn’t had much chance to explore, but he seems to have a slight exhibitionism and submission kink

Exhibitionism: It probably comes from the fact that there are very few places for you to be alone in Hogwarts and that is where you spend a majority of your time. He is usually quite open to either of you sneaking over into each other’s dorm rooms when everyone else is asleep, or having you in any room that is empty for now

Submission: He is totally hopeless for you, to the point that people tease him over it, and he’d do anything you’d say just in everyday situations. So of course he’d be more than willing to submit to you sexually as well

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

Though he settles for a lot of places during term, it’s when you’re out of school for the break that you can really spend time together in his room, which is his favourite place to have you. It’s familiar and private and you usually can’t be disturbed

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Having you around and having your attention on him riles him up so much more than anyone expects

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He wouldn’t share you or hurt you in any way that could linger, too scared that it’d make you leave him to even try

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

As any young man, he loves receiving. He will make doubly, triply sure that you really want to and he won’t take any form of control in it unless you urge him to

He will gladly reciprocate, though at first he did need guidance and he wasn’t really that good. Through practice, a lot of it, he has greatly improved

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

He starts out slow and usually means to let it stay that way. But the feeling of you and the overwhelming pleasure from being with you does make him end up going faster than intended

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Sometimes it’s all you can have, but he would rather hold out until you can be together properly in case you get caught

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

He’d take a few risks, in the name of pure experimentation either based on your ideas or random suggestions that the other Marauders give him that he never asks for, but there are limits either due to his lack of confidence or the circumstances

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

He can go a few rounds, four on a really good day, and he lasts longer than you’d expect from someone with his (lack of) experience would

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

There is a lot of risk in having any sort of sex toys, especially with his friendship group, but there are a few spells that you found from a book in the restricted section that you have yet to test

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Peter is nowhere near the teasing type. When you’re in the moment, he wants it to last but the thought of teasing you doesn’t ever cross his mind

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Peter is quiet, but he is quite vocal with it. He’ll mutter to you, though not being particularly dirty, and he’ll whimper occasionally but usually his noises are bitten back or otherwise muffled by his hand or wherever he’s decided to kiss you

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

Your first time was in his dorm, when the other marauders were in detention and their other dorm mate was in the common room. You hadn’t intended to go that far at first, but making out and a bit of heavy petting had just lead to it. Almost instantly after you’d finished, you’d heard the Marauders outside the door and had mere seconds to cover yourselves up.

That was how they found out that you and Peter were together. It could have gone better.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

He’s a bit longer than average. Not that he’ll ever say it, of course

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Surprisingly, not too high. He’ll never pass up the opportunity for sex, at all, but if you just want to hang out or even do nothing in particular, he’s just as eager

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He can go to sleep quite soon after he’s finished dishing out his affection, unless he has a reason to stay awake.

Requests: Open Tag List: Empty Tits: Out

I am forcefully removed from making jokes ever again

#NFW Alphabet #Peter Pettigrew #peter pettigrew x reader #Harry Potter #marauders era fanfiction #reader fic #Female reader #fanfiction #lemon #Admin-Hannah

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zankivich · 6 years

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Teacher’s Pet: A College AU - The Epilogue Part 1

a/n: I know what you’re thinking....bitch why did this take so long? but like here my out. I started a whole other plus-size woman series, I got writer’s block, school was shit, mental health was shit, and this motherfucker is still like 15k long! so I broke her up into two parts. She’s angsty and cute and hopefully real? idk. I really hope you like. Let me know plz? K bye.

*Six months later*

“Shawn Peter Raul we are going to be late!” You yelled.

You were late. You were so fucking late, and Karen was going to kill you. You’d only been given one job and that was to get Shawn to graduation on time and in his cap and gown. It had only taken him stepping into the shower beside you that morning to fuck that up. Woops.

“Babe, I can’t find my tie!” He called from the bedroom.

You tapped your heel impatiently against the wooden floors.

“It’s on the dresser next to your cap where I told you it was thirty minutes ago, bud. We gotta go!”

He came walking out in his black slacks and those boots of his that always clacked against the floors. His mother had asked him to wear the tie and it really was going to look beautiful against the backdrop of his floral button up. Your mans was sort of beautiful.

“What?” He asked at the smile that was clear on your face.

You shrugged pulling the tie around his neck to tie it for him.

“Nothing. You just look really good.”

His fingers came up to touch your waist and you grinned.

“Yea?”

“You know you look good, asshole. Stop flirting with me. We’re late.”

“But you’re so pretty.” He hummed. “What are you doing later?”

“I’m going to see this concert later actually. I got tickets to an Ed Sheeran show. Hear, the opener’s supposed to be good.”

Shawn snorted. “I don’t know. I heard he’s shit. Kid’s got no stage presence.”

“Yea, but he’s kinda hot. Who cares what he sounds like?”

He swatted playfully at your ass for that one before you finally are able to get out the door.

You get to the venue just in time for Shawn to line up with the graduates and you just barely made it to his family, out of breath and sweaty. But, as long as Shawn got to fucking walk everything would be fine.

It had certainly been a hell of a rollercoaster the last few months. Shawn’s spring semester had been hectic to say the least. They had released his first single to astounding reception and everything had blown up since then. He was performing two, three, sometimes four nights out of the week and doing twelve credit hours on top of that. It was more work than either of you had been prepared for, and it definitely wasn’t easy. You snapped at each other sometimes. You got lonely when he was away, and he got lonely too. Sometimes you went weeks without seeing one another. But, he always came back to you. And every time you heard the door open, his keys in the bowl, the tapping of his boots against the hardwood floors, you remembered that it was all worth it. You grew closer because of it, and the fact that you came out of it on the otherside was just a testament to how much both of you were willing to do whatever it took to stick together.

Graduation day was a huge affair for the Mendes family and it was impossible not to get swept up in their energy. They were excited to watch Shawn graduate, and you had the biggest sense of pride as well. After all you had been the one to watch him come home from shows at two in the morning just to write a paper for class the next day. You had sat with him when his anxiety had been at its peak and he hadn’t been able to breathe for minutes or hours at a time. You were there for every low but you were also there for every high. The first time he’d met Ed Sheeran and Andrew had told him that he would be his opener for the North American leg: fifty shows of getting up and playing for an audience every night. You were there when his single had debuted in the top 10 on billboard, and Teddy and he had popped champagne in the middle of one of the practice rooms on campus. You got to watch him live his dream and it was the most beautiful thing in the world for you.

He walked across the stage all overly long limbs and that adorable fucking goofy smile with a diploma in hand. It’s everything you ever wanted for him and you’re so proud that maybe you somehow smudge your eyeliner. It definitely isn’t by crying though, no sirree. Not at all.

Aaliyah catches a picture of Shawn lifting you up in his arms to kiss you just minutes after the ceremony ended and it might just be your favorite picture ever.

There’s a big, huge dinner with Shawn and all of his friends to celebrate their achievement. The excitement of the day reminds you of when you finished undergrad and the feelings that came with that. It really was an incredible achievement and watching the pride of his family and friends as they all celebrated him felt better than good. You just loved knowing that he had done it. He’d gotten the degree and the dream and he was going to go on to have everything he ever wanted. Your love for him meant that watching him get it all filled you with a joy unlike any other. Because you’d never meant anyone that deserved happiness like Shawn did.

You’re sitting at one of the long banquet like tables engrossed in a conversation with Aaliyah about boys, when he comes for you. He had a corona in his hand which he placed beside your much more sophisticated Old Fashioned and his fingertips were icy where they touched gently at your neck.

“Can I steal her away for a second?” He smiled at his sister.

She nodded excitedly shooing each of you away with both her hands as Shawn tugged you to the dance floor. He wrapped his arms perfectly around your shoulders not even giving you a chance to do anything but sway awkwardly back and forth. But that was the only kind of dancing you wanted to do anyway.

“Hi.” He whispered peering down at you with nothing short but adoration.

You wrapped your arms around his waist in return smiling up at him with similar sentiments.

“Hi.”

“I feel like I haven’t seen you in a very long time. I don’t know if I can let you graduate again if it means all these festivities will keep you away from me.”

You snorted. “You’ll be happy to know that graduate degrees are a lot less of a to-do. Besides the fact that we drove here together, and I saw you thirty minutes ago.”

“Sure, babe, but I had to sit with all those other people for like three hours. And then my mum and my dad made me take more pictures than that photoshoot I did last month. I didn’t even want this party. I’d much rather be cuddled up at home with you.”

“That’s actually really sweet. We’re together now though. Isn’t that what matters?”

He rolled his eyes playfully pulling you closer against his chest so that your eyes no longer met.

“I guess.” He sighed. “Look, I have something I wanted to talk to you about.”

You stilled under his arms, both of you no longer moving on the dance floor.

“What is it? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong, sweetheart. I actually talked to Andrew last week. With how well the single has been doing. And the youtube endorsement and the shows with Ed. I’m gonna be able to pay off my parents debt for my college.”

“Babe! That’s incredible. I know how much taking care of them means to you.”

You tried to pull back to look at him, but his arms only tightened around you.

“You’re right. It means a lot to me. But, I also found a place. It’s uh--it’s close enough for you to drive to school every day and close enough for me to get to the studio or anywhere else I might need to be. It’s not in LA or anything like that. It’s just barely bigger than the place you have now but...it’d be ours. If that...if you wanted that.”

Your heart stopped. Your feet stopped. Everything came to a crashing halt. His arms which has been holding you captive broke easily when you tugged away. Shawn could easily take you with brute strength but the knowledge that you wanted him to let you go was all that he ever needed to be stopped. The two of you had talked about moving in together since that day in the beach. It had seemed incredibly unrealistic at the time, mostly because you were two broke college students with no way in hell to afford a Californian apartment. But, that hadn’t stopped you from fantasizing, from whispering to each other in the bed that you shared at night. It just never looked like it would actually happen. For Shawn to surprise you with it on his own graduation day was absolutely ridiculous, and absolutely the kind of thing he would do. And maybe that’s why you were so incredibly in love with him.

“I’ll get a job. I can use my stipend to chip in with rent, but if I work at a bar or something on the weekends? I can help even more.” You smiled.

He frowned at you. “What? Why would you get a job at a bar when you should be focusing on school? Y/n I’m not asking you to pay anything here. I just...I just wanna live with you.”

You could see the softness that seemed to radiate from your gentle giant of a boyfriend. He was always fairytales and roses and nothing else. Of course he’d never ask you to pay anything. But, surely he had to know you and know that you’d never live with him and not hold up your end of the bargain.

“I want to live with you too, Shawn. So, so much. I’m not doing it for free though.” You assured him.

He brought his hands up to cup your face, massive hands covering the majority of your face as he pressed a kiss to your nose and forehead.

“I love you.” He mumbled. “Let’s talk about the details later. Will you move in with me? That’s all that matters right now.”

You knew he’d try to talk you out of it with all of his might. You knew you’d have to stand firm,and that eventually you’d get your way. But every now and again fairytales and roses weren’t such a bad thing. If anything he’d taught you that.

“Yea. Yea, I’ll move in with you.”

“Yea?!” He grinned wrapping you up in his arms again.

“Yea!”

That night you watch him live out his dream in the most tangible way imaginable. On stage in front of twenty thousand people. And you can’t help but remember that night at the bar for the first time. When he just wanted to impress you with his guitar and his words. And he had. Watching him made you stop, made you take notice of every twitch of muscles and every note that came from his lips. You had two favorite Shawns. One was in the mornings. The days when he had decided not to go to gym and you somehow woke up before him. His curls would be wild and matted in some places and the pillow always left red lines on his cheeks. He was beautiful. The other though, was on the stage. His button up would be sweaty and sticky on his back and his eyes would be so wild and bright, so much brighter than the lights even. It never seemed to matter if it was three or three thousand, but every time someone sings the songs back at him he just exudes a happiness unlike anything you’d ever experienced. You know that the stage was his home in the way that he was home for you. And there’s nothing you love more than getting to watch him have that.

It’s only a thirty minute set but when he comes off stage that night he’s alive and full to the brim with energy. He hugs his mum and his dad and his little sister, but when he gets to you he kisses you like it’s maybe the last time he’ll ever see you. And he wraps you up in his arms and doesn’t let you pull alway, not even for a second. It’s like something about his love for the stage transfers to you, and if that’s not the biggest fucking compliment you’re not sure what is.

“Come with me.” He whispered.

He’d barely changed out of his shirt from the set, hadn’t cooled down or anything, before he tugged you into the crowd with everyone else. One second he’s the focal point for everyone in the arena and the next you’re just fans, you’re just people in the crowd enjoying the music. And it’s beautiful and wonderful and you completely forget that your boyfriend is Shawn Mendes, that that means something now. He’s just yours and you don’t have to share him when you’re jumping around like dumbasses to your favorite songs. It feels so good.

But then Ed’s strumming his guitar and asking people to put their phones in the sky, and Shawn’s wraps his arms around your waist from behind.

“I don’t usually dedicate this song to anyone, but a mate of mine asked, and I couldn’t refuse. So, y/n, wherever you are; this one's for you.”

The beginning chords of Perfect begin to play, but how could you ever focus on that through the tears?

“I can’t believe you!” You huffed spinning in his arms to face you.

His palms came up to hold your face in his hands and his lips touched your forehead, touched your lips, touched your ear.

“I wanted you to know that no one has ever loved anyone the way that I love you. This is the only way I knew how!”

And it hits you then in a way that it never has before. It’s not about the fact that your boyfriend got Ed Sheeran to dedicate a love song to you. It’s the inability to say what something is. You use similes and metaphors to try and describe feelings and it never really does it justice. But music, when it is at its most raw and it’s most guttural evokes love and pain and passion in a way that nothing else can. You know his love in that moment because the melodies are recreating it within you. Like it travels into your ear and down into your heart and settles there, nestles warm and soft, forever. And you love him just the same. In a way that consumes a piece of you until it is no longer your own, until it belongs to him as he belongs to you.

He holds you against his chest and he spins you around and he sings the words back into your ear over the loud expanse of the crowd. No one has ever loved anyone the way that you love each other. It’s yours. To have and to hold and to treasure. So you do.

****

*Three years later*

It’s a hard day. It’s been a hard month. A hard year in truth and you’re not sure what to do with it all. Shawn’s been on tour most of the year. His first headlining U.S tour had turned into a European tour had turned into a world tour. But, he was happy and so you were happy. In all honesty you had learned how complex emotions could be in your relationship with Shawn. Because you were happy for him. That was fact. You felt it sincerely and you knew in your bones that it wasn’t a lie. But, you were also sad when he was away. And he’d been away for so long that you were afraid you might forget the sound of his laugh, or the feel of his curls between your fingers. You felt the sadness and the fear and….and anger. There was an anger there too. At him? At yourself? At every single person who got to file into a room every night and see your boyfriend before you did?

But none of that was meant to matter that day. You were being honored with an award that night for your research. It was a really big deal because there grant money involved and you were the youngest person to ever win the award. There was a banquet And in your field there was rarely ever enough money for there to be a banquet. And Shawn was going to come. Shawn had promised he would come.

You’re on your way to get your hair done for the event when the call comes in.

“Babe!” You squeaked as the speaker phone kicked in. “I am on my way to the hair salon as we speak. Gotta try and look good if I’m gonna be stood next to you huh? Did you get your suit?”

“H--Hey sweetheart, listen I uh--”

“No. No. Shawn please, no.” You sighed pulling to a stop at the red light.

You hit weakly at the steering wheel in protest.

“I’m so sorry. Listen I--I’m so sorry. Andrew scheduled a last minute interview and the flights just aren’t lining up. I couldn’t say no.”

You chuckled. “Couldn’t say no. All I’ve heard in the last six months is no, but god forbid Andrew hear the word no.”

“Y/n, that’s not fair. You know how much this all means to me.”

“Yea, no, of course I do. I know how much everything means to you, Shawn, but what about me? Don’t I--do I pull any weight at all?”

The light turns green and your foot stutters on the gas like your lip stutters as the tears start to build again. There’d been an attempt to use “I feel” statements lately. It was your therapists idea. The idea that you should be sharing how you feel instead of stifling it as was usually your initial instinct. The problem became when you were overcome with emotion, the last thing you wanted to do was follow that stupid fucking exceriese.

“Of course you do. Do you wanna tell me what you’re feeling right now?”

Ugh.

“I feel like my boyfriend is an asshole. I feel like there is a line of fifty thousand people in front of me to visit who is supposed to be the love of my life. And everytime I think I’ve got my ticket? Every time I think I’m at least somewhere in the line of people in your life? Someone else just gets to jump in front because they’re more important.” You huffed as a tear ran angrily down your cheek. “This night meant so much to me. All I wanted was for you to be there. It’s the only thing I wanted.”

“Baby I--”

You don't think you can stand to hear him say sorry again, don’t think your fucking heart could take it. So, you hang up and you sit in the parking lot of your salon for fifteen minutes bawling your eyes out before you go and get your hair done because the world doesn’t stop spinning because your boyfriend’s a jackass. Which he is.

You get all dolled up that night in this beautiful black gown with a dangerously high knee slit . It was supposed to make you feel powerful, ethereal, beautiful. And somehow not having Shawn there just fucks all of that up. You just wanted him to be proud of you, wanted him to share in these important moments of your life the way that you had been there for every single one of his. It hurts worse than you knew what to do with. You can’t put makeup on that night because every few minutes you have to blink angrily to keep the tears at bay. The worst part is remembering how much Shawn loved you without it, and knowing that if he would’ve showed up he would’ve told you how beautiful you were. But, he wasn’t.

The ceremony is beautiful. You’re surrounded by the most intelligent people in your field and it makes you appreciate the work that you all are doing, validates that you’re not alone in that work. You’re sat a table with people who will probably go on to save the world, if it isn’t already too badly damaged, and that means something to you. Half way through the night your phone vibrates in the clutch you’d gotten to match your dress, which literally only fit your phone in it. It’s Shawn. Usually you would’ve excused yourself from whatever was going on to talk to Shawn. Your moments with him could often times feel fleeting and small. But tonight wasn’t about him for once. It was about you. And tonight you got to be the one who was too busy. If only for tonight.

You’re sitting at the bar sipping on whiskey on the rocks because you’re not driving home and they’ve already given you the award so who cares if you get a little tipsy when he comes up. He’s maybe just under six feet and his hair is brown and neatly trimmed though the shade is much too dark for your liking. He’s got wild green eyes and it pairs lovely with the darkness of his suit which happens to pair lovely with the darkness of your dress. Before you even blinked he’s sitting beside you and turning those green eyes on you. You noticed that his eyes were kind, and that you liked that.

“Hi.” He murmured nodding his head towards the glass in your hand. “Scotch?”

You grinned slightly. “Whiskey.”

“Ah, my kind of woman. Can I have whatever she’s having?” He asked the waiter.

You’d already had one so your head is feeling a little fluttery. You leaned your chin against your palm so you could see him better.

“You received an award for your work with Trans sexworkers in Atlanta right?”

“Yea, actually. Although most of the credit should go to my research partner Clara. Me being a cis-het male, who’s white-passing doesn’t exactly harber a connection with folks who have been victimized from people who look like me. I just was really fascinate by the topic and wanted to help in whatever way that I could.”

You nodded. “Yea, no I understand. The hardest thing is wanting to do work that elevates untold stories, but recognizing your privilege is deeply rooted in their oppression. Sometimes you just have to bow out. At least that’s what I think. But, uh I did my thesis for my masters on mental health and trans women. Most of my research ended up being tailored to Black women and women of color in LA because I was close and they was a bigger community of folks. I was really fascinated when I read your study.”

“Well thank you that means a lot coming from you. You’re kind of like the belle of the ball here.”

You snorted. Actually snorted. Ugh.

“I highly doubt that. I’ve only been alive a fraction of the time some people around here having been making meaningful impacts on their communities.”

“And yet you were given the most prestigious honor of the night.”

“Hmmm… You’ve got me there. Guess I’m kind of a badass.” You joked bringing your drink up to your lips.

You watched his eyes dip down to your mouth and perhaps you began to catch on that this wasn’t simply about your work.

The waiter placed his drink in front of him and he moved to take a sip only to wince as the alcohol burned his throat.

“Jesus. You are a badass.” He coughed.

“People tend to underestimate a woman’s ability to drink men under the table. Your shitty beer has nothing on my long islands. Assuming of course that we’re sticking to very gendered understandings of drinking, which I guess if my drink is anything to go off of, we’re not.”

He smiled at you and it made you un-cross and re-cross your legs. You hadn’t been smiled at like that in a long time.

“I never got the chance to introduce myself officially. I’m Jaden.”

He asked you more about what you were working on at the time. He offered suggestions for parameters to meet the needs of the communities you were working with. You talked about politics for a little while, and about the latest celebrity male that had been ostracized from the community for sexual assault or rape or persuasion or some other awful thing. It felt good to have someone to talk to, someone who understood. And sitting there, you could see it. You see how simple of a life it would have been to be with someone like him. Someone who’s work aligned with your own, someone who’s passions in life were similar. It would easier, for sure.

But, the second he’d stepped up to that bar the only thing your mind had registered was that he wasn’t Shawn. His hair color was off. He had neatly trimmed facial hair that thankfully Shawn didn’t. His eyes weren’t the perfect shade of brown. And he would never cause the same excitement of Shawn sending you a news article about a terrible thing going on in the world, and knowing that his ability to critique and to learn had started with an intro to feminism course those few years ago. Shawn wasn’t an expert on all things social justice, but he cared because you did, and he made the effort to be plugged into your world. Well, except for tonight. And the last couple of months. Why’d you have to go and fuck up now?

“So uh...if you don’t mind me asking, there was a lot of talk about your boyfriend showing up here tonight.” Jaden finally murmured.

You hummed. “Really? Is that a thing that you all talk about?”

“Not me necessarily, but even human rights activists like a little gossip. I think rock-star heart throb makes that list.”

“At least you’re honest, I suppose.”

He smirked. “And you’re deflecting.”

“You never asked me a question.”

“Fair. Why isn’t your boyfriend here with the most beautiful woman in the room?”

You bit your lip eyes straining to your glass.

“I--I’m not sure.”

You don’t know why you said that. You knew Shawn had said there was press. There were interviews. There were things that needed his attention. You just couldn’t quite figure out why you weren’t one of them. What was wrong with you?

“I mean….I should--I should go.”

His hand reached out to touch your bare knee stilling you into silence. You hadn’t been touched by anyone who wasn’t Shawn in years.

“Hey, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to freak you out I just...You’re gorgeous. You’re incredibly intelligent, one of the smartest people in this room. The way you talked about your work tonight on that stage told me that your heart is absolutely massive. I’m struggling to understand a world where you’re not appreciated to the fullest degree. You gotta know you deserve that.”

His touch turned to fire on your skin. The fact that no one besides Shawn had touched you had been purposeful, and this, this felt wrong. He wasn’t yours and you weren’t his and more than that you didn’t want to be. So, you stood up and smoothed out your dress before downing the rest of your drink. You hoped that you looked graceful and elegant despite feeling like absolute shit inside. You wondered how long you’d feel like absolute shit inside.

“You have a nice night, Jaden.”

The driver waits outside for you and stumbling into the back seat slightly past tipsy and sad is not a good luck. You just wanted your dumb boyfriend to show up. That’s all that you had asked for. And now some dumbass had hit on you and tried to make you feel special and it’s not that that’s what you wanted at all. You didn’t want anyone to make you feel special, you wanted Shawn to be the one to do it. You just wanted him.

The tears began to well up again and before you knew it you were croaking at your driver to head for the nearest place that offered burgers.

“Ma’am that’s not really within my purview.”

You sniffled. “P--Please? I’ll pay whatever overtime there is.”

He looked at you in the mirror and maybe he pitied you a little bit because eventually you wind up parked outside your apartment barefoot with a cheeseburger in one hand and your fancy glass award in the other. The driver helps you to your door because whiskey is a hell of a drink and you spend some time fumbling with your keys before bursting through the door. You tip him double. You’re kind of a shit show; he deserves it.

You’re still munching on your cheeseburger and tripping over the trane of your dress when you stumble upon the flowers and the candles. In all honesty the alcohol is talking and it doesn’t really register in the way that it does. His bags are still on the ground by the door and the deeper you walk into the apartment the more his smell starts to linger in the air. You’d always found that so interesting. Shawn could be in Tokyo or Switzerland or Mexico, but every time he came home he still smelled like him. You loved that.

He was sitting at the kitchen table with a cupcake in front of him when you arrived. He turned to look at you and you could tell he hadn’t slept or shaved. There were bags beneath his eyes and a scruff on his chin. His hair was messy like he’d been tugging on it. But, he smiled when he saw you, eyes gentle and searching. This was home. Right here with him. Even an intoxicated you knew that.

“W--What are you doing here?”

“I changed the in-person interview to a phone interview. I tried to change my flight earlier to get here in time, I swear to you I did, but...this was the best I could do.” He sighed stepping heasistantly closer to you. “You look so beautiful in that dress, baby.”

Your eyes fluttered down to the ground shifting your weight back and forth on your ankles. The tears were coming again.

“Thanks.” You mumbled blinking down at your toes. “What’s with all the flowers and candles?”

He’s a little closer now. He’s trying to make eye contact with you, but he won’t reach out and touch unless you give him permission. You know that about him.

“I just wanted to show you that I care, that I’m here for you like you’re there for me. I--I wanted to apologize too, for ever making you feel like that wasn’t the case. You have every right to be angry with me. I guess I just wanted to try and make it up to you somehow.”

You don’t say anything back and he takes another step forward until your standing right in front of each other. The burger is long forgotten in your hand and the award feels even heavier in your grasp. He looks a little desperate in his eyes, an expression you don’t see from Shawn very often. He’s nervous. You wonder a little what he sees on your face that makes him feel this way.

“Babe,” His voice cracks around the word. “Y/n. Please, won’t you look at me?”

You sniffle and struggle to tilt your head up at him, but even then you can’t look him in the eye.

“What’s wrong? Did something happen at the dinner?”

A laugh burst past your lips and you wish you knew where the hell it came from.

“Are you drunk?”

He must have smelled the whiskey.

“Maybe.” you shrugged. “Still working on it though.”

You take another bite of the burger and shuffle past Shawn to get to the liquor cabinet in the kitchen. You know he’s directly behind you in the way your body knows when he settles into the bed at night behind you. It’s a sixth sense of some kind.

“Hey can we--can we just talk, please? Tell me what’s going through your head right now.”

“I don’t think that’s such a good idea.” You mumbled.

“Why? You’re freaking me out, y/n. Just talk to me.”

You don’t raise your voices at each other. It’s a thing that you have. You used to watch your dad yell at your mom when you were a little kid, and truthfully just watched men in various stages of anger. It always made you flinch. You must have confessed it once during a night with a little too much to drink, or a night when he’s made you feel so happy you forgot what a secret even was. He’d never really, intentionally raised his voice before, but after that night he’d purposely kept his voice calm in even the angstiest of times with you. Right now his voice is edging up an octave. It’s not yelling, doesn’t even make you flinch, but you notice that he’s not a hundred percent composed.

You settle your palms against the kitchen counter trying to tether yourself to the room, to the moment. Usually Shawn always did that for you, but right now you’ve never felt more away.

“There was a guy tonight.”

It slips out. It’s like word vomit. Everything you’re thinking is moving much faster than your mouth is capable of, and the whiskey acts as a truth serum to your innermost thoughts. No amount of alcohol in the world could ever make you forget the look on his face when you said it though, the way his mouth just sort of popped open. His palm comes to rest over his heart like maybe just that alone was enough to break him. And suddenly you’re hurting too. You’re hurting more than him missing any dumb banquet could ever accomplish because this is Shawn’s pain. Shawn’s pain always hurts more.

“What does that mean? What do you--what happened?”

“Nothing. Nothing happened. I was just sitting at the bar drinking and he sat down. He told me he loved my work. H--He did research with Trans sex-workers in Atlanta and we talked about that. He’s pro prison abolition. He studied anthropology and political science in undergrad and got his PhD in critical race theory. And he--”

“The point, y/n. Get to the point. So he’s perfect for you is that what you’re trying to tell me? He’s smarter than me, he cares more about human rights, he’s dedicated his life to the same work that you do. What are you saying to me right now?”

He’s freaking out. You’re freaking out.

“Maybe? Yea, maybe he’d be better for me.”

He blinks, shock clear on his face. He thumbs at his lip and those are tears in his eyes. A curl falls down to his forehead, but you know that it’s not your place to fix it right now. Don’t know how you can fix any of it.

“You don’t mean that.”

A tear hits your bottom lip and it shocks you into speech.

“I do. I really do. He’d be a lot better for me. H--He said I was the most beautiful woman in the room tonight.” Your lip trembled, the tears flowing freely now.

He reaches for you palms up, touching gently at the fabric of your dress, but you pull yourself back more firmly against the counter. You’ve gotta get it out while you can and he can’t be touching you or you’ll just fall apart in his hands. You know yourself too well.

“Y--You are beautiful. When have I ever told you you’re not beautiful? Y/n, I love you with all of my heart, why are you doing this?”

“Could you just shut the fuck up for two seconds?!” You snapped fingers pulling anxiously at your hair.

There’s a tear drop hanging off the edge of his chin that your fingers itch to wipe away, but you can’t. Not yet.

“I know my own worth okay? I know my own worth and I know what I deserve and this isn’t it. And it is not because of your career. I--I love what you do, and it makes me so fucking happy to watch you live your dream. I don’t resent your music or your fans or the fame. I can deal with all of it, I swear I can. What I can’t deal with is coming last all of the time. It’s a show and then it’s a music video, an award show, a studio run, and now an interview? The biggest moment of my career and you can’t make it because of an interview?”

“B--But I’m here right now! I came as soon as I could! I am doing my best.”

“Yea? You’re telling me that the night you won your first grammy, if I had skipped it to meet with a client that would have been okay with you?”

He pauses and you know it makes more sense than anything else to him. That situating things in his world will help him see.

“Look none of that matters. None of it matters. Because I’ve never loved anyone the way that I love you.”

He wipes angrily at his eyes with the back of his hand and sniffles.

“What?”

“That guy at the bar? He came up to me and all that I could think about...was you. And how he wasn’t you. And how much all I wanted was for you to come home. Even though I’d spent all afternoon crying over you, I still want you. I would rather have the worst of you than the best of someone else. And that’s fucked up. And I hate that. But, it’s true.”

“So you didn’t--You’re not leaving me?”

“No. I couldn’t even if I wanted to. I just want you to want to care about me, I guess. That’s all I ever wanted.”

When he reaches for you this time you let him. When he wraps his arms around you and tucks you under his chin it’s instant warmth, instant safety, and instant healing. Really all it takes is for him to be present to soothe you, and that’s all you’d been trying to say from the beginning.

Neither of you talk that night. You’re too busy holding each other in bed. He’s still in his jeans and t-shirt from the plane and you don’t even take your dress off. It’s a little hard to remember all of the pain when you’re re-familiarizing yourself with his scent. When his fingers are in your hair or drawing shapes along your spine. You know that it’s late and that you should definitely be asleep but you fight it every step of the way because finally he’s here with you and you’re not ready to give that up yet. And with your head perched against his chest listening to the rhythm of his heart and the sound of his breath, you know that he isn’t either. Somehow though, even after the different time zones and the flights, he’s going to out last you and you both know it. The last thing you remember is his lips touching your ear.

“Go to sleep. I swear to you I’ll be here when you wake up.”

His arms tightened around you and that was all it took.

When you wake up it’s because the sun is lighting up the room again. There are blown out candles everywhere and more rose petals on the bed. A headache blooms behind your eyelids and you almost forget everything that happened the night before. But when your eyes open Shawn’s still sitting there against the headboard, arms and legs crossed, like he hadn’t moved all night.

“Did you sleep?” You croaked, voice still tired from the booze and crying.

He shook his head softly. “Couldn’t.”

It takes a little bit for you to sit up. You’re body already feels old and you’re not even thirty yet as you hunch yourself into a sitting position on your knees. Your dress bunches around your thighs and the slit comes to rest dangerously high, your lace underwear sticking slightly out. In a simpler world that would’ve been Shawn’s focus. But you’re not there yet.

Shawn’s not looking at you when he speaks initially. It’s quiet, no movement in the room except for the dust motes twirling in the air. And even when he speaks the room still feels too still.

“I spent all night trying to figure out what to do.” He started. “I thought about...about what it would feel like to let you go? If that guy was truly better for you.”

You sighed. “Shawn he was just some random guy at the bar. It didn’t mean anything.”

“But it did, didn’t it? It’s not the guy, it’s about what he can offer you. What any other normal guy could offer you that I’m not. And if I loved you, if I really loved you wouldn't I give you that? Shouldn’t my main priority be to make you happy?”

He’s scaring you now. And maybe you deserve it. Maybe he’s been waiting all this time to call it quits to decide that it’s not worth it to try and meld your lives together anymore.

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying I’m not as good of a person as I thought I was. Because I can’t give you up. I don’t--I don’t want to give you up. I love you more than anyone I’ve ever loved. I can’t even imagine my life not intertwined with yours.

“Last night was the worst night of my life. To know that I haven’t shown you the love that you deserve kills me. Loving you is all I’ve ever wanted. And I’m not even doing it right.” He sighed finally turning to look at you with tears in his eyes. “Y/n I’m so sorry. I can’t even begin to...I just want to deserve you.”

Your minds must be in sync because you both reach for each other at the same time. There’s crying and you’re both trying to hold each other’s faces and wipe away tears at the same time. It’s ridiculous and sappy but it’s so fucking nourishing .

“I love you.” He whimpered against your mouth. “I’m so sorry. I’m gonna make it better, I promise.”

He starts with breakfast in the kitchen. You're both still in clothes from the night before. And while your eating his scrambled eggs and toast you hear him sit in the living room and talk to Andrew for over thirty minutes to change his schedule around. You don’t realize that’s what he’s doing until you start hearing the “no’s” over and over again. When he comes back to you he nuzzles his head against yours kissing crumbs away from your lips.

“I talked to Andrew.” He explained. “I’m gonna take a few weeks off instead of promo between legs. And when the tour is finished we’re gonna sit down and re-evaluate my schedule. And I--I’d like you to be there if you want. Maybe you can bring your schedule and we can coordinate times to just be together?”

It was such a drastic shift that you just sort of stared at him for a minute, lips parted, eyes wide.

“Just us?”

He reaches for your fingers and brings them to his lips.

“Yea. Just us. I was actually gonna ask if you might want to go on a trip with me.”

“A trip to where?”

“I uh I hadn’t actually gotten that far, but I figured we could pick together.” He smiled. “Just wanna be with you for a little while.”

“Shawn,” You sighed. “You don’t have to do all of this. I don’t need the world alright? I just need you. It’s all I ever wanted.”

“Yea well, what if I wanna give you both?”

He pecked quickly at your lips and down to the crook of your neck.

“The only reason I should ever make you cry should be from cumming so hard it brings tears to your eyes. I’ve got a lot of loss time to make up for, but I’d really like to try if you’ll let me.”

You peek over at him and it’s just as well. He really is the devil in the body of a god. It’s so fucking rude.

“Yea well I’m not gonna say no to that so just fucking take me already.”

And take you he did.

TBC

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