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hanazuma-inactive · 4 years ago

Note

hey can i request something where sero accidentally find out his bf has a praise kink/body worship like whether the bakusquad is just joking around or he’s complimenting him or something but later that night he takes total advantage of that and is just complimenting tf out of him. thank you very muchh

compliments (nsfw) sero x reader

pronouns: he/him

warnings: bathroom sex! praise kink, using cum and saliva as lubricant

a/n: christ @jream-23 sorry i could've done your boy so much better :( idk why i had such a hard time writing this one even though i love the concept so much. i'm also sorry if this is too short or if the praise content isn't enough i can not work my brain rn for the life of me

_____

"god y/n, you're so perfect" sero said as he kissed your stomach and thrusted into you.

"h-hanta please, it's embarrassing."

"i can't stop…you're just so perfect, every part of you. your body, your face, and of course that sweet voice of yours."

you and hanta have been together for sometime now. ever since he confessed to you, your lives have been better than ever. sweet remarks here and there, an occasional flirt from your boyfriend and of course bakugou telling you two to get a room and denki getting jealous of you two.

sero was a loving boyfriend, always showering you with compliments. of course you enjoyed hearing them but…maybe a little too much…

due to the fact you never told sero about it during sex he didn't know how much of an effect it had on you whenever he would compliment or praise you. it drived you crazy but you could never find the right time to tell him. sometimes the compliments made you feel loved but sometimes it made you want him. you wanted pto melt in his arms while sero whispered those sweet words in your ears. whilw calling you his, making you his and telling you just how good you feel inside.

just another normal day at school when mr.aizawa for some reason gave the entire class a study block. some of your classmates actually studying, some taking a nap, some on their phones and some straight up left the classroom to train.

you had some work do to but they weren't urgent, all of it was due next week so you decided to take a break and go hangout with your boyfriend. as expected sero wasn't doing his work either so you thought it was alright to go bother him a little.

"hey sero!" you said as you gave sero a small peck on the cheek. "whatcha doing?"

"nothing much handsome." he said as he returned the kiss. "just reading this new manga i found how bout you?"

"nothing much, i didn't want to do my work so i came over."

sero understood what you meant by that so he grabbed a chair and gestured you to sit down on it. he pulled you closer to him and made you lean on his hand as he held your hands.

"you're so perfect everywhere." the black haired male said while stroking your hair.

"t-thanks." you said while blushing.

there it is again, the casual compliments that make you go crazy. sero giggled a little and gave you a kiss on your forehead. feeling embarrassed you shoved your head into sero's chest and clutched onto his uniform.

"aww, you look even cuter when you're embarrassed y/n."

that was pretty much the last straw. hanta's compliments were getting to you and you wanted him right here and then. but you can't do that can you? you were infront of a bunch of people, not to mention all these people you know personally. you didn't want to feel this way but you can't help it. as much as you wanted to stop the tent forming in your pants you couldn't. there was only one way you could save yourself from this situation.

"hanta! i need to g-go to the washroom for a bit i'll be back soon alright?" you said as you pratically sprinted out of the classroom. hanta was left with confusion but didn't think about it too much and just assumed you had to go really bad.

you quickly hid in a bathroom stall and unbuckled your pants. the bulge in your pants was too big to ignore so you had to do something about it before leaving. you took off your boxers and started to stroke your cock slowly with your eyes closed, thinking about your boyfriend. you untied your tie and opened loosened up your uniform a little after a while.

"hanta…it feels good-"

"hey y/n? you alright? you've been gone for a while now."

speak of the devil you heard your boyfriend's voice from the entrance of the bathroom.

"o-oh hey! yah i'm fine just my stomach haha!" you said with a trembling voice.

sero knew you better than that. there was no way you would go to the washroom for that long, even if you did have a stomachache you should've been done by now. he had a slight feeling of what's going on and used his quirk to stick to the ceiling and took a peak into the stall from above.

you and hanta met eye to eye and his face immediately turned to a deep shade of red. seeing you all vulnerable like that, dick out and chest exposed turned him on to the max. next second you know sero lost his grip of the tape and fell into stall that you were just jacking off in.

"s-sero! oh my god- are you alright."

"ouch… yah i'm alright but you don't look so alright there huh?" sero said with a smirk.

since sero caught you anyways you might as well be honest with him right? you grabbed onto sero's arm and looked down so you wouldn't have to face him while saying it.

"sero this was…all because of your compliments, everytime you compliment me during class or anywhere, it makes me feel so...y'know? everytime, right after you say it i want you in me, telling me the same things you said but in a different manner."

sero finally understood the reason to your reactions everytime he compliments and he was glad you were being honest with him.

"well, we still have 30 minutes till class begins again. if you want, we could…" sero said as he held your head up and stared straight at you.

you couldn't believe that your boyfriend was offering you something like this. it wasn't an ideal time or place to do it but due to your current "situation" you agreed to it.

next thing you know sero kneeled down on his knees and started to tend to your cock. he first teased the tip that was already leaking previously and soon moved down more and more fitting your entire cock in his mouth.

"my beautiful boy, you taste delicious down here. look at how much your leaking, it was all because of your thoughts about me wasn't it?"

"hanta…i'm getting close."

"cum right in then~ i wanna see how you taste for a change."

you couldn't hold in anymore as hanta continued to suck your dick skillfully, licking everywhere with his tongue. you panted slightly after shooting in your boyfriends mouth.

"damn baby boy, that tastes amazing." sero said after he swallowed all of your seed.

"sero please…put it inside, i want to make you feel good too."

"your wish is my command."

to loosen you up, hanta wiped some of the leftover cum mixed with his spit on your cock onto his finger and put it inside your asshole. his fingers squirmed inside you as you did the same in response. as your moans started to become more consistent, hanta knew you were ready to take his cock. he took his finger out and stood up to unbuckle his belt and take off his pants. his cock was already hard and waiting to be inside you. your eyes become hazy looking at your boyfriends entire length, excited to fit it all in.

"i'm gonna put it in alright y/n?"

"p-please do…"

your boyfriend thrusted into you slowly so it wouldn't hurt too much. his cock slipped right into you due to your ass being loosened already.

"wow… look at that. it went all the way in right away, your so good at taking my cock y/n."

after moving around a hanta started to move his cock. it started slow at first and sped up a little as sero got familiar with his surroundings.

"god y/n, you're so perfect" sero said as he kissed your stomach and thrusted into you.

"h-hanta please, it's embarrassing."

"i can't stop…you're just so perfect, every part of you. your body, your face, and of course that sweet voice of yours."

it was true, you tried holding in your moans and whines because you were scared of other student roaming around in the halls to find out what you two were doing. but you couldn't, hanta's cock felt so good inside you. it may not look like it but he knows exactly where that spot is and just how to pleasure you with it.

"you're taking me so well baby boy. every part of you, so perfect."

"mmghm~"

"i'm getting close y/n, you feel too good inside i can't hold it in anymore."

"m-me too hanta… please cum inside me."

sero didn't say anything in response to that but instead just pushed him self onto you and locked your lips with his as he came inside you.

"we sure made a mess huh." sero said with a little giggle.

"we sure did." you said to sero in response.

"better clean it up and head back to class, or else aizawa's gonna get mad."

both of you laughed as you cleaned up the stall and headed back to class just before next period started.

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shurisneakers · 4 years ago

Text

harmless (viii)

Summary: Bucky volunteers to go stop a small time villain, but nothing can prepare him for what exactly he has to deal with. (Bucky x villain!reader, drabble series)

Warnings: cursing, protesting, frustrated bucky, dramatic reader, gamer (derogatory), smidge of angst

Word count: 3.5k

A/N: listen idk what goes on at construction site and im too sexy to research so we’re going with my version of the world. hello. how are we all doing?

here’s my ko-fi if you’d like to support my writing <333

Previous Part || Series Masterlist

He doesn’t expect to see you on TV.

In jail maybe, for something scandalous and completely unnecessary, but not TV.

But there you are, a sign board waving around furiously in your hand, voice in protest against the demolition of the community centre. You’re flipping the board back and forth to alternate between the messages you’ve scrawled on the cardboard.

You were among a few protesting, but clearly the loudest.

He thinks that maybe he has the weekend off if you’re too busy fighting big corporations. He’d send his support even.

Until he zeroes in on the sign when it flips over, finally reading what it says.

You better get your ass here, sarge

And so he does.

Half the crowd had dipped by the time he arrived. You were there, still the loudest, but he couldn’t help but notice the lack of people as compared to an hour or two ago on TV. He supposed that justice could wait as long as it took to get lunch from the nearest café.

“I can’t stop you from protesting, y’know.” He’s a little wary of approaching your raging self.

“Oh, hey Barnes. You got my message.” You break away for a second to scream a bunch of obscenities at the gigantic glass building before turning to him. “You wouldn’t be able to.”

“What’s your dumb plan then?”

“First of all, it’s not dumb. It’s stupid. Put some respect on my technological genius.” You held up a finger. “Second of all, it’s not here.”

“Where is it?”

“At the construction site.” You point down the road. “Come on.”

Right along the way you stop to chant another slogan. He waves his arm around meekly in support. He did, after all, have to stand up for what was right, but if his publicist saw him here she’d have an aneurysm.

The construction site isn’t very far off. It’s adjacent to the community centre, which he assumes they’re going to tear down to make more space for whatever shitty commercial building was going to take its place.

There are already a few excavators and dozers there but no one to man them since it was lunch time. What garners his attention is the small silver plate that’s on the floor a few feet ahead in the direction you’re walking towards.

“Here.” You stop once it nears. “The plan.”

“Am I supposed to know what this is?” He lightly kicked at it, earning a smack on the arm from you.

“Stop that,” you scolded, “and look at it. It’s not hard to figure out.”

He narrows his eyes. There’s a small u-shaped piece of metal in the middle of the plate. “That’s a magnet.”

“Exactly.” You clapped your hands together in excitement. “The world’s strongest electromagnet.”

He looks around. The only possibly magnetic things are the cranes and excavators around him.

“You’re going to... stop the machines from moving ahead?” he hesitates in his deduction.

“Yep. Can’t tear anything down if they can’t get to it first.”

Bucky looks down.

“Does this thing even work?” He toes at it again. “It’s kinda small.”

“It works beautifully, stop kicking at it, you demon-”

“What happens if I step on it, huh?” He knows this would get on your nerves wonderfully. He raises his leg. “Do I get to go home for the day?”

“You’re such a little shit,” you whine, reaching for your back pocket. “Stop bullying my invention.”

“’m gonna squish it like a bug.” He’s only half kidding about that part. “I’m gonna-”

Before he can finish his sentence something yanks him down hard. His head nearly hits the ground before his right arm shoots out to break his fall.

"Woah there, don't go falling for me as yet.”

“What the fu-” he begins, eyes locking on his metal arm that was pressed flat against the earth.

“I told you it works,” you say smugly. “Try crushing it now, Barnes. If you can even get off the floor.”

He tugs his hand but it’s firmly attached to the thing. No matter how or where he’s applying the effort, his limb refuses to move. He’s stuck.

“Turn it off,” he sighs. “You made your point.”

“No. Stay there.”

“Y/N, shut up and turn this off,” he groans, trying to find a better position rather than chin down on the ground.

“Lay there and rot. You deserve it for underestimating me.” You huff.

“I wasn’t underestimating you, Jesus Christ.” He really was planning to just step on it, but he had complete faith that it worked.

When he doesn’t receive a reply, his gaze follows yours. Suddenly the crane looks a lot closer than it initially did. Awesome.

“Those are moving towards me.” He picks up on the low groan and creak of metal.

“Yeah, they are.” You nod, one hand on your hip, watching them.

He didn’t think that getting crushed under construction equipment would be how his day went.

“Not my problem,” you decide finally after a bout of silence.

Now that simply wouldn’t do.

Death was definitely a problem, but what was more important was that he was going to get a dust allergy from the mud. He could already feel the blocked nose and temperature incoming.

“Are you really going to waste this on me? Don’t you have a demolition to stop?” He manages to twist his body so that he’s lying on his back.

“Good point,” you squint into the distance at the whirring of the heavy machinery. Their owners wouldn’t be happy to find them missing from their original spot. “But I still can’t help you out.”

“You’re willing to sacrifice your-”

“I can’t help you out because I don’t have an off switch. Yet,” you add the last part in a hurry.

“Then when the fuck were you planning to build one?” He sits up, leaning on his elbow. The cranes weren’t a mini object on the horizon now; the closer they got, the faster they were starting to move towards him.

“I don’t know, after they agreed not to take down the building?”

He could just detach his arm and come back for it later he but had no guarantee that you would stop here for the day or that the vibranium could withstand all that pressure.

“You better make a switch right now and get me out of this, I don’t care how.”

“Yeah, yeah,” you grumbled, bending to assess how badly he was stuck. “You know, this thing runs really deep into the earth. It’d take forever to dig back up and then get you back to my lab and then build a switch.”

“How long?” He didn’t have a lot of time, clearly, but even generally he didn’t have the whole day to waste. He had a mission the next day. He had to put the fear of death into some Russians and bring some pirozhki back for Nat.

“I don’t know,” you furrowed your eyebrows. “Too long for my schedule anyway, I have class prep to do.”

“Motherfucke- that thing’s like twenty feet away.” He’s worried about how you don’t look fazed at all when he points at the stupid machine.

He’s about to volunteer to detach his arm when he realises it’s definitely less than twenty feet now. He had a backup just in case. It didn’t move as smoothly, but who could tell the difference when a couple of tons of pressure was aiming for your face, and hell, if he explained his circumstances of the destruction of his arm to T’Challa-

“Okay, fine.” You reach into your backpack to grab something that looked like a wrist watch. It matched the one already around your hand.

You reach over and clasp it around his hand before turning a dial on the side.

“You ready?” you ask, ignoring the large crane that was starting to charge towards you.

“For what?” he replies, looking down at it. He can barely hear you over the sound of the whining of machinery.

“Teleportation, baby.” You send him a big grin before slamming down on his watch.

“Huh-” His voice cuts off immediately.

If there’s anything that can be said about teleportation, it’s that he feels like every atom in his entire body violently splits to float around briefly before suddenly rejoining again.

The ground beneath him feels different, and it takes him a second to realise that he was on the floor of your lair.

“What the fu-”

“Hello,” your voice comes from above him.

“You can teleport.” It’s not difficult for him to look at you now without the sun in his face. His arm is still stuck to the magnet but since the giant rod it was attached to was no longer deep in the ground, he could lift the entire apparatus up relatively easily.

“What, like it’s hard?” You discarded your bag on the floor. “You good? Takes a while to get used to.”

He gives you a grunt in acknowledgement, shaking his arm to see if he had any luck. It didn’t budge.

“Come on, take a seat.” You gesture to a lab chair you’ve pulled up for him on the raised platform at the front of the room. He realises that this is the first time he’s properly seen what’s actually inside your lair.

There are various buttons that do God knows what, drawers and cabinets painted black, several computer screens and gigantic pillars of glass on either side of the set up that encapsulate some green bubbling liquid. There’s a giant television set up against the wall, divided into several screens.

“Whaddya think?” You do a small swoop of your arm to show off the place.

“Gamer,” he says simply, testing his luck.

“What did you just say to me?” you recoil instantly, disgust on your face.

“It’s a gamer set up.” He points a finger at the TV screen. He was told by Shuri to use it as an insult, but he wasn’t exactly sure why. It just felt appropriate.

“Take that back right now.” You raise a finger accusatorially at him.

“No.” He was sticking with it even though he had no idea what exactly the context was.

“Fuck your arm,” you announce, throwing your hands up in surrender.

“Fuck your demolition then,” he replies simply, getting up from his place on the chair to leave with the thing still attached to him.

He takes one step ahead before your voice rings out.

“Sit down, drama queen,” your voice calls from behind him. “God, you’re annoying.”

“You’re infuriating.”

“I’m the best part of your week,” you fire back, ”and also your only way out of this. Now sit down.”

He didn’t even need the second warning, he was already on the chair the first time around.

“I’m not going to build a switch to turn this off. It’d take too long,” you examine the piece of equipment with more gentleness than he was expecting, “I’m going to remove it instead. It’s gonna take a while, so you better get comfortable.”

“I’m not.”

“That’s so sad,” you say without any indication of wanting to help.

He rolls his eyes.

You pull up next to him, welding glasses covering your face and the tool in your hand.

He turns away when you start, making sure his face is not directly within its trajectory.

He makes himself busy by looking around some more. There are details you’ve put into the place, materials that are non-flammable made up most of the architecture. It’s dramatic, sure, but somehow the designs and colours seemed to go together. It did look sinister, he’d give you props for that.

The space was quite big. It occurs to him only then that that’s how you manage to sneak up on him so often in the past. Everything clicked. Fucking teleportation.

“So,” your voice was raised to speak over the noise. “How’s it going?”

He decidedly doesn’t answer. His position is more than enough.

“Right.” You clear your throat.

He takes to counting the tiles on the floor, figuring out how many were there from the raised platform to the wall of the entrance.

“Not how you imagined your day to go, huh?” you continued despite his lack of response. “But some might say it’s a privilege to be spending the day with a cool, mad scie-”

“Are you going to keep talking?” he interrupts, losing his count on the floor.

“Yeah, duh,” you say like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “You got anything better to do?”

He didn’t.

“What’s it like living with a bunch of superheroes?” You change course. He’s not sure if he’s really allowed to disclose top secret information. “I assume there’s a lot of protein shakes, talcum powder for the chafing-”

Then again, how much damage could you do by knowing that Steve preferred pancakes over waffles?

“It’s quiet,” he says. “Most of the time.”

“Save all your smart talking for the battlefield, huh?”

He doesn’t reply. It’s quiet around the Tower. A lot of their energy goes towards missions and recuperating once they’re back.

“You go on missions a lot?”

“I can’t tell you that.”

“Boo, you whore,” you say with mock disappointment.

He got that reference.

“What’s your favourite food then?”

He scrunches his eyebrows.

“What?” The welding stops for a second while you look at him. “Don’t tell me that’s classified too.”

It’s not, he’s just never thought about it.

“I don’t know,” he murmurs, “Pasta?”

“Vague, but I’ll take it.”

He used to boil a lot of pasta, from what he could remember of his days in hiding. Cheap and bought in bulk before he saved up enough to buy things like fruits. A lot of the times the amount of sauce he had access to was enough for maybe seasoning, not a whole component on its own.

It’s one of the perks of being a free man in the 21st century he thinks, a steaming bowl of fettuccini drenched in sauce and garlic bread on the side.

“What do you do in your downtime?”

“Nothing.” Well, he considers it to be a pass time and doing nothing is a full time gig. It takes effort to do nothing. He even has days dedicated to doing nothing, as suggested to him by his therapist.

“Really?” You sound a little surprised, although it’s hard to make out when you’re already speaking a lot louder than usual. “No shining your penny collection? No software update for this thing?” You tap at his arm.

There really isn’t anything. Truth be told, he thinks he’s the most boring guy in the Tower. He sticks to himself, has a few succulents that he adores and occasionally watches trashy television. So then why are you so interested in him?

“You’re obsessed with me,” he says pointedly. “Why?”

You give a short laugh. “I think it’s the blue eyes, sarge, they’re really popping today. Gotta say, I’m loving this colour on you. Is it different from the black you wore last week? And from the one from the week before that?”

He looks down at his dark t-shirt and utility pants. He had other clothes but those were reserved for things that were not this.

“Or maybe it’s the grumpiness, I don’t know. I love it when someone shows absolutely no interest in me. Very sexy of you.” Oh jeez, you were going to continue. “Hell, maybe it’s the thighs-”

“Okay,” he interjects, feeling the need to count the tiles more than ever. He equates the heat in his neck from the welding going on beside him.

The loudness of your laughter is clearer than the sound of metal on metal when you tug a large piece of the invention off. Things were moving fast. He could get back home to his Star Trek marathon and forget this day ever happened.

“You know, you’re more interesting than you think,” you pipe up casually.

He doesn’t expect this and therefore he supposes he can’t stop the curiosity from enveloping his face. He hasn’t told you anything about himself, so then the inference you reached came out of nowhere.

Apparently, you take notice of the confusion on his face, even though he can’t see through the giant welding mask, because you let out a chuckle.

“Oh, come on, really? You have no idea?” you ask lightly, pausing to see if he offers anything other than silence. “You’ve come back almost every week even though you know it’s a waste of your time, you always keep your promises and I know for a fact that if you wanted to stop me once and for all, you could have. But you’re not.”

He doesn’t realise you’ve stopped welding until you start again. Good, it gives him an excuse not to have to look at you after that.

Frankly, he’s a little stunned.

You’re not looking at him, he can tell from his peripheral vision. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you have a small crush on me.”

At that, he’s forced to roll his eyes out of instinct. Thankfully you do know better.

A few screws out later, another piece comes out. You inform him that’s it’s going to get trickier from there since the circuit was a little more intricate, a lot more time than the original few pieces. He can see his Star Trek marathon fade away in the distance.

You ask him a few more questions. Some he answers with silence, others maybe a tidbit here and there.

“How’s dating now compared to the forties?”

“Strange.” He purses his lips in thought. “One guy asked for a gym date. Didn’t know that was a thing.”

“How’d that turn out?” you laugh.

“He didn’t ask for a second one.” His Bumble matches with girls somehow had gone down since he cut his hair, but he’s not too bothered. Not like there was a huge shortage.

He likes cats, thinks the worst merchandise that they make is the stupid baseball card with his face on it, and doesn’t have social media for the sake of his sanity. He’s seen the thirst tweets.

Clearly, he’s revealed his deepest, darkest secrets. Utterly classified material. But he doesn’t know anything about you other than your name, number, address, where you teach, what your hobby is-

“You, uh-” he hesitates, “You got a favourite food?”

Your hands hold still to hover above what they’re working on. You fight back a smile. “Sure do.”

He asks a few more questions. Shuts up when he feels his social battery drain. That’s enough for the next month, he thinks.

The sun’s dipped down beyond the horizon by the time majority of the work is completed. Both of you have taken a few breaks to fight the feeling of stiffness that was creeping into your joints.

You scoff and tell him you’re not planning to poison him when he denies the offer of a soda. He doesn’t deter in his decision.

“How much to go?” He has a mission tomorrow that he’d really like to get some sleep in before. Waking up at 3am to get ready was the worst part of the job.

“Basically done.” You roll your chair back, rotating your shoulder and stretching your fingers. “There’s just this little part that I can’t access from this angle. How good are you at hanging upside down like a bat?”

Fuck it, he sighs to himself, it was almost finished anyway.

Bucky stands up, tilting his neck to the side slightly before pulling at a small latch under his arm, one so tiny that you’d never make out was even there unless you knew it existed. The arm releases from his shoulder with a small click.

He offers it to you, a piece of your magnet still attached to it.

Your eyes are slightly wide. He raises his eyebrows.

You don’t say anything, just accept it and flip it to a position you were comfortable with. It takes only a minute or two for the sound of the last piece hitting the floor to reverberate through the hall.

You give a small cheer. He lets out a tiny exhale in equal parts fatigue and relief.

“So,” you drawl, handing his arm back to him, “you could have just done that the whole time.”

He doesn’t reply, just slides it back onto his shoulder.

“You had the option of leaving your arm here and coming back later to get it.”

He gives it a few shakes, opens and clenches his fist shut a few times to make sure everything is working.

“You wanted to talk to me.”

He gives you a deadpan look. “I was distracting you.”

“Bullshit,” you laugh.

“Believe what you must.” He shrugs, turning around. “My job here is done regardless.”

“Oh, I believe alright,” you call out from behind him as he walks towards the entrance of your lair. “I believe you’re a sneaky bastard, Bucky Barnes.”

He doesn’t stop himself from smiling at the overdramatic gasp you give when he flips you a middle finger. From the metal arm, too.

Next part

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #mcu fic #bucky fic #bucky barnes fic #bucky fluff #bucky barnes fluff #bucky angst #bucky barnes angst #harmless fic #winter soldier x reader #Winter Soldier #bucky barnes #bucky

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antiloreolympus · 3 years ago

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10 Anti LO Asks

1. What I don't get is you have LO fans defending the questionable art choices as "that's just her style!!!" which sure ok, but but then shouldn't we give that same leeway to artists who draw even more sexualized, over-sexualized art too? It's their style, right? Like jesus christ LO fans, just let people critique it constructively over policing all thoughts, because you're only opening yourselves up to being called hypocrites and excusers for far worse in the name of refusing even minor criticism.

2. literally the only HxP media i've seen that's almost all universally loved is Hadestown and that's it lmao, but go figure LO fans hate it. Where's this idea LO critics love other greek myth pieces of work unconditionally or don't critique them? All my homies hate PJO too.

3. ya know the massive gap is also bad because rachel obviously wants to put persephone in sexual situations (ares, hades, and hermes as examples) but because made her SO young that unless this all just HAPPENED to all happen in the last two years of her life, then we're left with the realization that persephone could have been an underage girl being naked and physically intimate with ADULT MEN. this could have been avoided if she was even just 119 but no, that's asking too much apparently.

4. IDK how anyone is supposed to buy RS is some masterclass in mythology knowledge when the few times she tries to set it in reality she has them being in ITALY. There's so much resources pointing to HxP and Demeter's worship and origins being in Krete/Athens/Eleusis, but she'd rather go with their imported worship from literal centuries AFTER Hesiod, Homer, and other poets already wrote down the hymns and myths? She doesn't even let them be in GREECE for her GREEK myth story. Like what the fuck.

5. The reason Leuce or any half way decnt relationship doesn't exist between Hades or Persephone is because that would require RS having to actually develop Hades and Persephone as realistic people with lives that don't revolve around obsessing over each other and not write through the most black and white mentality in recent memory. She's trying to push the "soulmate" idea but instead because of the lack of actual relationships/development it really just comes across as "this is all that's left".

6. I wonder if one of the reasons LO is being dragged on is because RS know anything she makes afterwards will not be as successful. There's another creator who had a popular romance series but is now upset their new comic isn't as popular and I can see RS having the same issue. Her thin skin with criticism is well known, so we can safely guess how she'd react a post-LO series not being the company darling. Better to cling to the pedestal as long as she can before someone new takes it.

7. another popular webtoon creator was called out for their use of sexual assault to push a story along and of course rachel came to their defense. im not saying as victims themselves they cant write about this stuff, but them trying to police how other people (especially other victims) feel hurt by their work and their use of a serious crime as cheap drama/"character development" by going "oh youre just haters!"/blocking/harassing them is not very helpful or a mature way to go about criticism,

8. I know this is a ~design quirk~ but why does Rachel love drawing women with their mouths open so wide that it looks like they're just screaming? Does anyone else notice this? I swear she has the most bizarre facial expression designs and it makes trying to make sense of the tone (both in scene and dialogue) very confusing most of the time.

9. Listen I’m not going to dictate what Rachel likes to draw, that’s her thing, but it is a show of a weak artist that she can’t even try to diversify her characters design beyond hourglass women with huge boobs and bulky men. A lot of male comic artists are rightfully called out for drawing their characters this way, so why should she get excused for it? Especially when her style is so less detailed than more traditional comic artists? She has no excuse for it beyond laziness and lack of skill.

10. it's not just the lack of short kings, where my tall queens at?? apparently minthe, artemis, demeter, and hera are supposed to be "tall", yet they're all a head or more shorter than every man? especially artemis, who you would assume she'd be as tall or close to it with her twin brother. athena i guess is the "tall" woman but even she shrinks down whenever next to a man. does rachel know it's ok for a woman to be over 5'2 and the men don't always have to be looming over everyone. it's ok rachel.

#anti lo #anti lore olympus #lo critical #lore olympus critical

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jiminrings · 4 years ago

Note

OKAY LISTEN idk if someone or you already planned sth like this but how about y/n finally decides to confess/tell jk but someone else claims to be her before she could do it so * cue to the angst bc y/n sees the whole thing/she hears from her friends * and ofc koo eventually finds out bc that b*tch doesn't even have the fucking lunchboxes 😑

cold senior!y/n x stem major!koo masterlist :D

stem koo's the three-peat king for having the best research papers, but he's the worst when it comes to believing the right person

"i think i'm gonna tell him."

you say it to no one in particular, really, but you hear yoongi rISING from his nap on the couch

it wasn't meant to wake him at all

it was just an epiphany of sorts that popped into your head

physically felt as if your head would just bursT if you didn't say it out loud to affirm your own thoughts lmao

"for real???" he's rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, very evident that he wouldn't wake up to finish his thirteen pending assignments but he 10/10 would wake up to hear your epiphany

yoongi is awake for the action!!!! lmao does professor roux from calculus think that he wakes up at the morning and doing shapes (or whatever they teach at calc) is the fIRST thing in his mind????

"interesting," he nods solemnly when you nod your head, reaching out for a fist bump before he plops to your shoulder, "i suggest dressing like a virgin wearing H&M when you confess. it would hit close to home."

yoongi's the touchy affectionate one between the two of you but you'll forgive him bc he's still sleepy

NOOOOOOO

jungkook doesn't look like a virgin wearing H&M :((((

his clothes aren't from there lol

"pass."

"say that you're a top verified contributor both in quora and brainly."

PLEAAAAAASE SJWHSHWHHWV

"nice idea," you snort as yoongs genuinely thinks that it'd get jungkook to propose on the spot, "but no cigar."

"pretend to love big bang theory."

"you're getting onto something here."

"your hobby is fact-checking rick and morty."

"yoongi wow you are on fIRE today-"

"your guilty pleasure is not wearing protective gear during experiments."

"where is this coming from??"

"OH!!!! i'll pretend to mug him or something and you can attack me!!!"

....

??????

yeah yoongi's train of thought just crashed

you were pretty sure he was going on a science theme there wHY DID IT DERAIL

yoongi looks confused because you look confused, as if he didn't just give you the mindblowing idea,, free of charge

lol but no he really didn't

"i'm not doing any of that shit, yoongs."

"oh yeah???" he squints at you and hollows his cheeks, taunting you entertainingly while he worms his way to your lap to nap again

"what are you planning to do?"

holy sHIT this is nerve-wracking

she feels like she's gonna pass out the whole time that she's been rehearsing this in her head

she's been waiting outside the classroom for twenty minutes now and the bell finally rang and she can't believe it!!!! omg is it game-time now

everyone's filing out of the room and she could just feel that jungkook would come out of the room last-

ALRIGHT FUCK THE BELL RANG

you could do this!!!!

everyone's filing out of the room and you know in your heart that jungkook would stay behind, his routine being to politely chat with the professor before he leaves

you're a lil nervous alright

you're scanning the room and there's only a few people left and your eyes instinctively go to the mini desk next to the door and-

FUCK

DID YOU FORGET TO BRING IT HOME YESTERDAY??????

goddamn it

yesterday was when coach jeong was mad because someone from your team just hAD to bring beer!!! and not even have the common sense to put it on a discreet thermos or sth and you know!!!! to not drink it in public or in front of the coach!!!!

doing laps on the oval field will now make you hurl on command just by thinking about it

you physically did not have the cognizance to go and fetch the lunchbox to wash it,,,, or like even move at all

FUCK IT

how are you gonna swipe the lunchbox now? now when the professor's packing up, jungkook's loitering around the classroom, and there's this girl who's-

wait

who's this girl??

who is she and wHY IS SHE EYEING THE LUNCHBOX

fuck it!!! here goes nothing

she's stepping completely into the room and making sure her block heels generate enough clacking,, hands already moving in practiced moments as she attempts in making it seem like she's rushedly putting the lunchbox bag into her tote — as if it's from there, and she's always done this

jungkook hears noises coming from the back of the room, eyes widening before he comes up the stairs in record time

"no. get your own."

he grips the girl's wrist, about to pry off her hands from his lunchbox

he hears her giggle sweetly, the melody being something he's heard before

"i did. after all, i did get you these."

"hyeji?"

hyeji's a pretty girl!!! a nice girl in jungkook's year that wears fit dresses and cartier bangles :D

she stands out really, sometimes literally because she appears in the school's flyers and advertisements

"hyeji," jungkook breathlessly connects the dots including the fact that she looks caught in the act; holding his lunchbox, her tote bag open, and a peek of another completely different lunchbox in her other hand, "i-it's been you this whole time?"

hyeji blushes, sheepishly tucking her perfectly shiny and neat hair behind her ears, "you caught me then."

kook laughs both in nervousness and giddiness, pushing his glasses up and suddenly conscious that he should've worn contacts, "b-but how? we don't share this class."

hyeji bursts into a giggle, blushed cheeks staining further than the five minutes she tried getting the perfect amount

"r-right! kinda amazing what depths you'd go for a person you like, hm?"

jungkook is about to pass out

HE'S PUT IN A SITUATION

a situation that he likes and is too giddy to find a reply for

he apparently doesn't need a reply, because a chair scrapes harshly against the floor and it brings him down to reality immediately

you cannot fucking believe what you just witnessed

you stand abruptly from the seat you've been frozen in with a great deal of urgency because you cAN'T stand to be in this room any longer

they actually forgot that the two of them aren't alone

that you're still here

little miss hyeji's just as shocked

you feel stupid and even more stupid that you're still holding a stupid notebook you even decorated

it has a doodle in the front and all the remaining pages are of the copies you've replicated on jungkook's sticky notes — the same ones you've been trying to make perfect just for him

"y/n!" he sputters when your backpack accidentally leans too much to your side and hits him on the way out

"move."

you’re feeling everything but fine and god you just hated that you always willed yourself to move oN

you’re beyond mad when you put on your jersey!!!

you’re irrevocably dejected when you put on your cleats!!!!

you feel cheated on when you zip up your duffel and walk all the way to the field!!!

it’s a combination of the type of frustration that makes you want to move plus the type that paralyzes you, the whole thing unlike anything you’ve ever felt before

you’re clearly in your head and frankly, you’re just too good

too good that there's no game at all because the only thing happening is you scoring

there's no passing going on or the sort

everyone is just :O looking at their captain to be in the most furiously determined state that they’ve ever seen you in

you don’t even realize that you’re the oNLY one moving in the whole field

“alright, alright — jesus christ! go to the bench and sort your head out, captain,” coach jeong literally has to JOG over to your spot to jolt you

oh there he is again

jaehyun just had to bench you didn’t he

sometimes it’s lost on you that jaehyun, just like seokjin, used to be your senior

he hated juniors with a burning passion and you’re the ONLY one he’s taken a tolerance for

((you lent him your umbrella and it coincidentially had to be a bad day for him tHEN that made him like you))

you’re having none of it though because this time, you’re the one who has the bad day and the captain title does nothing to appease you

“sure, coach.”

you mumble just as lively and walk to completely the fURTHEST side of the bleachers, being so far out that you could barely see your team

what are you supposed to do? simmer in the thoughts you so badly didn’t want to have in silence??????

"y/n?"

the voice you least expected to hear perks up right next to you

what the hell is jungkook doing here now??

he looks lost, two hands clinging onto his backpack straps before tentatively looking at you again

“did i do anything to upset you?”

so he wants to ask that?

you snort automatically, suddenly wishing that you didn’t walk this far because you can’t make an excuse that jaehyun’s calling for you

"because my bag accidentally hit you on the way out? no, jungkook."

jungkook knits his brows in question, seemingly take offense to what you’ve just said to hom

"we're not exactly associated for me to be mad at you, are we?" you emphasize even further, not caring the least bit that your words have an edge to them

he deadpans, pursing his lips before sarcastically smiling at you

".... so you're upset at me?"

://

jungkook takes your silence for him to delve further, not paying attention to how your eye is begging to twitch at him

"i asked if i did anything to upset you, and you said no. but that doesn't necessarily mean you aren't. you could be upset at me even if i didn't do anything to you."

wow

you sound like a real fucking nerd jungkook

"do you have any idea how condescending you sound right now?"

kook barely has a solid inch on you yet the nagging feeling that he’s belittling you makes you grip your fists tight, posture wavering

"so you do admit that you're upset at me?"

he’s not the most patient person either but something about you and the situation right now just makes him tick a little faster

your eyes narrow at what he’s aiming to get at, your hand on your hip feeling heavy at this point

"what does it matter to you if i'm upset or not? we are not-"

"i am associated to you!!! even to a degree!!! you walked me home!"

jungkook is the one who breaks first and he doesn’t look fazed to have opposed you so loudly, still standing by himself

"i would walk anyone home."

"no you wouldn't-"

"i would walk anyone who was as vulnerable and as anxious as you were, jungkook!!"

it is true

you’d walk anyone home within reason regardless if they were jungkook or not!!!

the guy in question only looks at you straightly, brows not stubborn but still just as unrelaxed

:((

"good to know. then you're not upset at me, and i didn't do anything to upset you."

"sure."

you only say just to spite him, about to turn your back and leave him completely to go back to your practice game

jungkook surprises you again and flips a switch just as quick as your mini argument of sorts escalated

"anyways!! i'm sorry for being a little off when i interviewed you that day. i got a 100 on that assignment, by the way :))"

what?

what’s he still doing here?

he’s talking about his grades and whatnot to you as if literally twenty seconds ago did nOT happen!!

"why are you still-"

"and the one who's been giving me my lunchboxes confessed to me today!! for hyeji to be the girl giving me them, it makes perfect sense."

you shrug away the weirdness that jungkook’s moved on from the argument as fast as this, trying a take two for a peaceful conversation

this time, you’re the one who unknowingly flips a switch at her name — something so foreign and sudden yet something you quickly grew to hate

"i wouldn't be so trusting if i were you."

that seems to hit a nerve on him again, making him scoff in reply

"good thing you aren't me then."

what is ON with him????

"watch it. i'm your senior, kid."

you’re more irritated than the first and second time around that you’ve been agitated this day

"why? are you normally this self-absorbed that you wouldn't trust a girl who's confessed??"

self-absorbed?

you aren’t the most selfless person ever but god do you know for a fact that you’re not vain as jungkook’s insisting you to be

you hate him.

you hate this version of him that isn’t the same jungkook you’ve known to like ever since the start of the semester

"same thing as polygraphs not being a hundred percent reliable. anyone could tell the truth as long as you ask the wrong questions," you detail on further because jungkook loves details, right? might as well give him several

"or did you even ask?"

jungkook scowls as if you’ve insulted his mother and his entire lineage, face contorting into everything but warm

"what does it matter to you? didn't you just tell me that we aren't associated? why are you projecting all your moaning on hyeji?"

WHAT

WHAT????

"you know what? maybe i am associated to you. i think i'd also tell this to everyone i'd walk home — maybe you shouldn't be too trusting, huh? maybe you shouldn't just let anyone walk you home."

the tears this time are more insistent to come out this time but you’d rather dIE than for jungkook to stain your pride like this

"no one should walk me home, besides you? is that what you're trying to say?"

no!!

for fuck's sake you aren't even finished with your point!!

before you could continue, jungkook shakes his head at you — the most disappointing shake of his head that it curses you soft

"what am i even doing? you wouldn't understand."

he closes the distance that’s been alarmingly shorter throughout the whole time, jungkook being the one to break it

"because no one gives you lunchboxes. no one exerts effort in making you cheerful — no one wants to go the extra mile for you, and no one wants to walk you home."

he's insulting you right to your face and that’s when your dam breaks, lips quivering impossibly as you stare him down with a genuinely pained gaze you didn’t know you carried

"you wouldn't know what i feel, because no one likes you."

jungkook gets the last word in.

he leaves you in the same field he's first approached you in nervousness.

today, he leaves it differently.

sweat isn't the only thing on your face but instead it’s the frustrating hot tears you haven’t had in awhile

your fists are balled but there's no power to the anger behind it

you’re almost always alone outside the company of the closest friends you’ve ever had — but this is the only time that you truly felt that you are alone.

today's a good day to give up on jungkook.

#WHAT DO WE THINK BESTIES!!!!!! alr this was the confrontation piece with all that build-up :D the pain #stem koo #jungkook imagine #jungkook imagines #jungkook oneshot #jungkook oneshots #jungkook drabble #jungkook drabbles #jungkook au #jungkook x reader #jungkook angst #jungkook angst imagine

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ddarker-dreams · 3 years ago

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FINALLY SOMEONE SAID THE TRUTH.

I admit that i enjoyed act 3 but it feels like really rushed i have so much complain with that.

The build up until act 2 was so good it give us so much premise but the final blow si meh. Sorry that i want to share thing long rant with you

1. Why the final talk is with yae, no offense to her but we need ei to explain not to mention she witness khaenriah downfall so she can give us more information, i feel like they do it for the plot armor so they can just keep dragging this

2. So many things that quite inconsistant, the shogun is show no mercy to anyone that even did a little thing outside what she think its right, how come she can still have a talk with signora, when sara is falling like that, and also there is no clarification about sara right now.

The traveler was so done at first they refuse to help thoma and ayaka at the beginning. But they seem so happy and forget everything how come they are not RAGE ( okay maybe this is to bias and personal) when this nation provide nothing about our siblings information and also why they are not mention anything about their problem in ei stroy quest. Its nonsense! She is right in front of youu, ask about your siblings, ask about khaenriah, ask about ukmown god!!. How come they can just forget like that. Also mihoyo really waste the potential about twin things i thing ei will give us so much help bcs of the sympathy that we both rn lost our twin but noooo.

3. Kokomi seem lost some brain cell, she make a very succesfull grand intro but she become meh in act 3, how come a great strategist like her let the sus sponsorship slip just bcs they are desperate, not to mention her screen time is really small and her role seem so unsignificant and it feels lile she is a plain npc.

4. The awesome world quest that we have done doesnt get any mention at all! Inazuma owe us so much with cleansing sakura, thunder sakura, tatarigami, obarashi quest. It has so much potential that yae or ei or anyone else aknowledge what traveler has been done but nooo.

cracks knuckles... i suppose it's time for my promised dissertation. interestingly enough, you touched on a lot of the main issues i had with chapter III.

i think that if i had to pin the main issue, it's a lack of overall cohesiveness? we were jumping all over the place without the chance to ever flesh things out. inazuma is a smaller cast, but i feel like we didn't get to see any of them shine. since i'm most interested in the genshin characters, i'll break down my problems by going over everyone and their (lack) of impact on the story.

was ayaka not questioned or placed under suspicion for being close to thoma before his escape? i wanted to see her broken up over her duties as they relate to the yashiro commission, paired with having someone she genuinely cares about in danger. it would've been an interesting struggle if she was forced to choose one or the other. instead she just kinda took a back seat.

speaking of thoma, i don't even have anything to say, because he just... was there? for .0001 seconds. said "lol this sucks ig" and that's about it. i know we're going to get a story for him in the future since he's a 5* but i'm not getting my hopes up 😭 then in the raiden shogun's character story, man is peachy keen! be upset with the raiden shogun! have some inner conflict! even if it's just using loaded language because he's under surveillance for going against the raiden shogun, that'd be so cool. saying something like,

"Traveler, what's with that expression? Oh please, there's nothing to worry about. We're under the Statue of the Omnipresent God's protection. Nothing bad has ever happened here." *wink*

i also don't know what to say about gorou. he was... there....... i think. what is he fighting for? what are the stakes for him? what makes him place so much trust into kokomi? i'm out of things to say about him because i don't remember anything he did or said.

kokomi... oh kokomi... i was so hyped. so excited. i thought that maybe we could see a foil to the raiden shogun. that she'd have a moment where she's forced to realize, just like her opponent, sacrifices must be made that will hurt people who will never understand why she made them. or maybe something to show her military prowess. but instead she just accepts a mysterious patron's help (?), sees her people aging like the grateful dead from JJBA, and goes oh well. that sucks. what can ya do. oh bye traveler i guess, good luck with that. ????????????? HUH... similar case to thoma where she's gonna get a character story but like. she won't be the leader of the resistance anymore. that was her whole shtick. they took her shtick away. also she forced me to interact with more NPCs whose names i've already forgotten so i'm tilted about that still.

KUJOU SARA... AN INJUSTICE. A DISGRACE. a slap to my woman loving face. the build up was there. yae miko's comments about sara probably knowing the tenryou commission is involved in shady dealings, but is choosing not to think about it. sara being forced to confront reality and challenge her adopted father with the truth. being able to blaze a new path for herself in the process. when she started running to the raiden shogun i was ultra hyped up. sara, a devotee to the shogun for so long, was about to see her god interacting with the same people who led inazuma to this awful state. how would she react? would she stay ignorant, like yae miko so coyly said, choosing to look away in favor of following her god's footsteps? or would she be forced to recognize the raiden shogun isn't as divine as she once thought, and challenge her belief system?

we open the door to see the raiden shogun. the loading screen ensues. the camera pans to the ominous room, clouded in darkness, hinting at the ominous confrontation that is to come. the music takes a serious timbre. and then...

well fuck that potential character arc i guess. (we still don't know what sara made of any of this since she poofed out of existence from the story at this point)

kazuha also was handed a similar treatment. we've been with him for a while longer now. he is our introduction into inazuma, the one who first gets us emotionally involved by regaling us with the bittersweet tale of friendship that led him to becoming a wanted criminal. a kind soul who loves nature yet was dealt a cruel hand by fate, forced to watch his home nation turn into a hostile place, where his dear friend ultimately perished as a result. we get the scene with his friend's vision lighting back up. he parries a block from the raiden shogun, in the same area where his friend was killed by her. the parallels. the drama. except this time, he wasn't too late. he protected the traveler where he "failed" to protect his friend in the past. did he feel redemption at this? or was it a bittersweet reminder of what could've been?

WELL i guess we'll never know because we didn't get to talk to him again 😭 idk who got a bait and switch worse, him or sara. jesus christ mihoyo.

then we have signora. why is the raiden shogun talking to her? does she know about the gnosis being taken, and if she doesn't, what was her plan to get it from the archon? what does she think about scaramouche? and oh, okay, we're fighting here now. good fight + god tier music. pog pog. okay, now we've beaten her up, and raiden shogun wyd— wait no not signora her lore is still on CUPS not YET raiden shogun and— ah she's dead. okay. non nerds who didn't read artifact lore are going to know nothing about her. signora has such an interesting story, and yet... well. ok.

then we get raiden shogun redemption (?) arc. i was hype for this as well, though at that point, idk why i bothered being hype. i knew they were gonna do a cute power of friendship something or another, and i'm good with that, so long as it's executed well. what i was envisioning was like seven different buffs to correspond with the seven different visions, the dreams of those whose ambitions were stolen serving as the spear to penetrate the raiden shogun's heart of stone. maybe a hydro vision giving us extra healing for a time, with the voice acting over it being like,

"Even if the rest of the world forgets us, let our will carry you through this one final time. Succeed where we couldn't, Traveler."

so on and so forth.

but instead we got— you get the idea at this point. why bother spelling it out anymore.

at that point i was surprised the raiden shogun didn't go "oopsie woopsie!! we made a fucky wucky!!!" because that was the vibe i was getting. i love ei, don't get me wrong, but i wanted to see her challenged with what she had done to inazuma in the past year. maybe meeting NPC #2345259 who lost her sister to the vision decree or something, reminding ei of the love she held for her sister... being forced to come to terms with the extent of what she's done in pursuit of eternity.

anyway. please for the love of god mihoyo hire better writers for the main story. that is all i ask. thank you.

#genshin impact spoilers #answered #Anonymous

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heyitsyn · 4 years ago

Text

Manager!Seijoh Part 2

a/n: lmao this is kinda weird for me but i think this was an interesting request so lets try it!

for more seijoh content, check this masterlist out!

lowkey kyotani kentaro typa beat but you gotta squint (??)

also warning! angst!

anon request: Hii! I just read the seijoh manager headcannon you wrote, it made me cry so much, i love those seijoh boys so much, and you are such an amazing writer! I dont know if requests are open or not but i was wondering what would happen if the boys ever find out what happened to reader cha? If requests aren’t open or if you just don’t want to write about it, I completely understand! Thank you for your wonderful writing again! Stay safe!

the stageplay was *chefs kiss* like MY MANS IWA WAS SERVING LOOKSSSS

soooooo

this might get really angsty idk so just a warning in advance

anyways

i mentioned in the earlier part that no one really knew what happened to you

so this one is when they DO find out what happened and what theyre gonna do about it

so first off, kyoken was basically the only one who saw you that day and saw how badly you looked

the thing is, at that current moment, he didnt really know the reason why and what happened

he had theories that you got jumped or you just got into an accident

but he was prettttttyyyy sure you got beat up

so you went home and rushed to yanno, take a shower and get your wound treated and cleaned so that it would heal bc you really cannot afford to let the boys see that

they would think of the worst at the smallest sight of blood on you and you really didnt want to deal w that chaos at the moment

you cant let them get suspended from school since they were going to interhigh soon and you cant let oikawa and the boys ruin their reputations just for you

a first year girl theyve just met

it was kinda hard to rinse all of the milk from your hair but you were able to at least get the smell out and clean up your mess

then you looked in the mirror and saw faint handprints around your throat from that girl miyo and you cringed as you touched it

‘jesus christ, seriously what does she eat? bricks?’

after your clothes were in the wash, you went to bed to get homework done and also looking up how to use the concealer to hide your bruises

you didnt really own any makeup but your mom has some so you could just use that

during dinner, you wore a turtleneck to prevent any suspicion from happening but you couldnt really hide the big gash on your face

‘y/n, what happened!’

‘i was dumb and accidentally fell up the stairs’

your parents shared a chuckle bc theyve actually seen you do this before so it was easy to believe the lie

‘darling, do we need to get you glasses? it seems your sight has worsened’

‘haha’

you went along with the joke but you weren’t eating and just pushed your food around

‘y/n? is the food not good?’

your mother asked but you shook your head with a convincing smile

‘its good! i just had some meat buns with the team earlier and i ate a lot so im still full’

you cursed at yourself for making it sound so rehearsed but you were relieved when your mother nodded

the next morning, you were satisfied with the reduced puffing of your face and you snuck into your parents bathroom where her makeup bag would be

as you held up the concealer, you started getting anxious because this was not the same shade as your skin and it would definitely raise suspicion if you had a different color on your neck than the rest of your body

you already planned to blame your wound as acne that you accidentally scratched but what were you going to do with the handprints?

the website you read said that it would take at least a day for them to fade

so you decided youd just wear a scarf and pretend you were cold

kunimi was confused as to why you had a scarf bundled around your neck and his eyes even widened at the sight of the bandaid on your face

‘y/n! what-!’

he shot up from his seat and your eyes widened before hissing at him to sit down

‘what happened to you?!’

he worriedly asked but you waved him off with a small smile

‘acne. this was the only available bandaid in my house so i had to work with this’

kunimi might be a lazy little shit but he was observant

and he noticed the way you said that sentence

it was like a robot

like a robot programmed to say what was written on its script

but before he could press on further, you already pointed out that the teacher was coming in and to hush so you could listen

the entire time, kunimi was awake alright, but he was too busy looking at you and a bright red thing that poked from the edge of your bandaid

kindaichi went to your classroom for lunch and you had to repeat your excuse for him but he pointed at another thing

‘why are you wearing a scarf? its like burning in here’

you didnt look at him as you just opened your bento

‘being in your period causes your temperature to fluctuate and cause unexplainable chill at even the hottest places’

okay what

they both shared a look and just shrugged, blaming it on your time of the month for the way you spoke with no emotion in your tone

this had to be the longest school day of your life

the whole time the scarf remained on and kunimi cant help but notice your flinches at the smallest of sounds

finally practice arrived and you really thought you could pull this off until oikawa barreled straight towards you and hugged you tightly

‘y/n-chan! you okay?! oikawa-senpai was so worried for you!’

you cringed but nodded

‘im okay, oikawa-san’

‘senpai, y/n-chan! call me senpai!’

‘im not going to feed into your kink, oikawa-san’

*cue everyone busting a lung*

‘y/n, what’s the-’

‘acne. only bandaid available in my house’

eventually, everything was fine

you were still cracking jokes w the others and you were still laughing w them so kunimi and kindaichi were at ease

but that shattered when oikawa was being oikawa and was being all touchy and bothering you about the scarf around your neck that he ended up pulling it off and he saw the marks

he was silent, just staring at them

ofc you were freaking out and you started breathing heavily

oh god he found out and he was going to hurt them

‘o-oikawa-senpai, listen, it’s not what it-’

‘y/n’

his voice made your eyes shut in fear and the others crowded around you and they all had scandalized looks on their faces

‘is this why you werent in practice yesterday?’

his voice was sharp, a complete opposite to his normally cheerful tone

you shivered and sighed

‘senpai, please dont-’

‘who is it?’

the other third years shared a look bc they were truly shook at oiks voice

‘w-why should i tell you?! its none-’

‘i am your captain and i deserve to know who is pulling you away from your managerial duties so he could just give you these damn hickeys!’

the gym turned silent

you stopped then furrowed your eyebrows

‘hickey? what-’

‘dont act like you dont know, y/n. so just be honest and tell me who’s your boyfriend’

lmao i shouldnt laugh bc this was supposed to be sad but im cackling at how dumb oikawa really is sometimes

‘i-i,,,,’

you stuttered but you knew this was the perfect opportunity

you could just blame it on this ridiculous misunderstanding

its a difficult hole to get out of but it would be easier than the other

so you pretended to be flustered and turned around to hide your face

‘it was a one-time thing, oikawa-san. i promise it wont happen again’

HELLO WHAT

the team was leaking the feeling of RAGE

how dare someone take their manager!

she was theirs!

and it doesnt help that every player might have a little thing for you

is this really turning into a harem

oikawa kept demanding answers but iwa hit him enough to quit and they finally went back to practicing but they were still distracted

every time they looked at you, they would grow flustered and red and end up missing a block or a serve

they just cant see their baby manager like that

you noticed it quickly and irritably got on them

‘stop staring at my neck and get back to practice!’

they flinched and saluted at you

lmao this little first year girl is able to control nearly a dozen <5′10 men who are all older than her

but you were glad that they finally stopped asking about it

this was going to go by smoothly and you were going to be okay

however,,,

several days later,,,

this is an angst fanfiction so i will bring thy angst

you were taking out your class garbage since it was your group’s turn in cleaning the classroom when you were grabbed by the arm on your way back

it was still outside and after school so it wouldve been an unlikely situation that someone would help you

it was that biatch miyo again and her 2 minions behind her

then you recognized one girl from the track team who was actually a year older than you but you saw her dropping off some files in the office

if you tried to run, she could easily grab you w her fast legs

great

you were stuck

you let out a tired sigh and crossed your arms on your chest

‘what is it you want from me, again?’

she smirked

‘you really dont know how to listen, do you? i told you to stay away from oikawa but youre still flaunting around with him!’

is she serious?

this girl was borderline stalker/yandere type of girl

you gave her an incredulous look and frowned

‘girl, do you hear yourself? you damn crazy and im leaving’

but she grabbed you back and shoved you against the wall

but this time, you kicked her on the chest to make her fall on her flat booty

surprise was written on their faces and you stretched your arms in front of you to symbolize distance

‘one more step and ill beat tf out of you. i just got my nails off so id watch it if i were you’

miyo huffed and stood up, brushing herself, glaring at one of the girls who tried to help her

then she remembered what you told her

‘hmm? if you hit me, you could be kicked off of the team since you hurt another student. so, go ahead, little kouhai’

she was right

even if it was self-defense, the school’s disciplinary section sucked and just suspended or kicked off people left and right even though they didnt do anything wrong

you were stumped

you were here on a scholarship, not on tuition

your mom would KILL you if she found out you got into a fight and got a record

but you didnt show that and kept your tough facade

‘dont challenge me. i could be a crazy bitch and i dont think youd like your little face being all messed up. so watch your mouth and leave me alone’

you turned to leave but she grabbed your hair and tugged it back

lmao flashbacks to the other part

she twisted your hair into a ponytail and had a firm grip while a girl kicked you behind your knees so you would fall to the ground

oh no you were done w this

you elbowed miyo on the stomach the hardest you could and she groaned which loosened her hold and you kicked her again to the ground

some other girl hit your side and you winced before slapping her straight across the face bc you didnt want to punch her and hurt your knuckles

but they were really testing you

the last girl still had your hair but you twisted around to face her and just did the last you could think of that would hurt

hit her right between her legs

you finally escaped their hold and miyo lunged after you

‘oh my god leave me alone!’

you yelled before holding up your arms to protect your face but she scratched your arms

obviously you were losing this bc it was just you but you were going to fight as much as you can

‘bad kouhais need to be punished! your senpais need to teach you a lesson!’

miyo screeched and you grabbed her arm before punching her straight at the boob

sorry rebecca

however, one girl was smart and did the same thing you did to her knees and made you fall to a kneeling position and eventually made you curl into a fetal position

gurl we actually fighting so hard considering we’ve never been in a fight

they continuously kicked you before miyo pulled up your head so you could sit up and kneel in front of her

ofc you tried to grab at her and punch at her

but these other girls were able to catch you and trap your arms in their hold and had their feet on your legs so you couldnt kick

great, another bathroom scene

your arms were bleeding from miyo’s scratches and your sides were hurting after their kicks

you lost and you were already bleeding in places you didnt think you would

this would be the last attempt and if he doesnt come, you’re done for

‘IIIIIIWWWWWAAAAAAAA-SAAAAAANNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!’

your scream echoed throughout the entire are

possibly could be heard in new york

and your voice became hoarse

ofc the girls were surprised and caught off guard but when there was silence and clear that no one was coming, they started laughing

‘oh, so cute! iwa-san? is that supposed to be iwaizumi-san? heh, you whoring around w him too? thats so cute-’

‘LET. GO. OF. HER. NOW.’

I GOT CHILLS

the girls holding you shrieked and dropped their hold on you before scrambling back causing you to drop to the ground

miyo’s eyes were wide and there was horror all over her face at the voice of that infamous boy

kyotani kentarou

‘WHAT THE FK ARE YOU DOING?!’

he yelled and miyo turned around to be met with his piercing eyes before screaming and running away with her minions in tow

‘YEA RUN AWAY! FKING COWARDS!’

ltr the cursing is so awkward for me to do but this is his character and im just so awkward so sorry!!

you coughed and winced at the pain on your side which caught his attention

again, he noticed you as the manager of their team and you’ve been hanging out w him, well, just him staring at you, at the alley while you feed the animals

you were actually nice and caring and definitely didnt deserve this

‘oi, y-you okay?’

you didnt look up, just closing your eyes in pain and biting your lips to not let out the crying

his eyes softened at you and he noticed you were trying to act tough and brave even though you just got beat up

normally, he wouldnt even help anyone but it seems you just did something to him

he sighed before gently picking you up, you not even bothering to stop him, and he held you tightlyin his arms as he carried you to the nurses office

he had a feeling you didnt want to be seen like this and hes been in the nurse enough to know she actually leaves the moment school ends

you let out a shaky breath as he set you down on the cot and you opened your eyes to reach your hold for him when he went away

‘n-no, don’t leave-’

but he grunted softly before holding your wrist

‘im just getting your damn medicine. chill out’

lowkey getting bakugou vibes

you nodded and went to close your eyes again

kyo returned w some pain relief medicine from his bag that he carries

babie actually gets into fights often and he needs it sometimes

and he had alcohol medicine kind istg and bandaids for your arms

it was silent as you drank the pills and he sat down next to you so he could treat the wounds

but he let his curiosity take over him

‘why the fk did you let them do this to you’

he grunted and you scoffed with a smile

‘let? more like overpower me and grip me as they just hit me’

‘cant you fight them back?’

you glared at him

‘bruh i literally kneed some girl in their cooch but they just some superhuman typa girls that cant be hurt’

he sighed

‘maybe you just werent strong enough’

okay listen here you lil shit

you didnt want to listen to him scold you anymore so you just went back to closing your eyes

but kyo is actually lowkey nosy so he kept asking questions

‘the first time we met. was it her too?’

you flinched in surprise

‘you remembered that?’

‘ofc i did. you looked like shit. not as bad as this but still like shit’

‘gee thanks, stranger-kun’

‘kyotani,,, kentarou’

you smiled

‘nice to meet you, kyotani kentarou. im l/n y/n’

‘i know’

he mumbled but you didnt catch it

‘thanks for hearing me and coming to help’

he hummed

he wasnt going to tell you that he actually heard the scream for his idol and thought hed be there so he ran to go see him but instead saw you

kyo just respects and looks up to iwa-chan so much it warms my heart uwu-

once you were all patched up, you were finally able to stand but you still staggered

he grabbed your arm softly and sat you back down

‘what the hell are you going to tell the team?’

you paused then sighed

‘i dont know. ill figure something out’

but he knew how observant the players would be and they would catch on

after all, he was there watching at the top bleachers as oikawa yelled at you for the ‘hickey’

‘if they didnt hit your face, you could get away with it. but you have wounds all over you and theyd find out. im guessing youre doing this bc you dont want to trouble them or burden them? bc they would do something about it?’

you just stared at this guy

‘how-’

‘just a guess’

he also wasnt going to tell you that he was actually part of the team but the constant fighting got him in suspension

and the fact that his parents were donors for the school, he only got a tap on the wrist

‘so what do i do, then?’

‘tell them-’

‘no i cant do that! another plan, kyo-kun!’

‘oi, im a second year, idiot. treat me with respect’

the irony bc he totally treats oikawa like trash

‘i just,,,, oikawa-san is seen as this prince/gentleman type and i know how protective he is towards me so the slightest problem could cause him to be ballistic. miyo is popular enough to circulate rumors about him and hes already in his third year and she is too so i just have to endure one year until theyre gone’

kyo was disgusted

all this for that stupid idiot captain?

‘youre dumber than i thought’

you weakly hit him at the arm

‘so mean, kyo-san’

‘i dont think its right youre suffering for someone who isnt even worth it’

you glared and linked your fingers together

‘im the manager. i knew this would happen the moment i signed up but i didnt care. as manager, i have to keep up the team’s image and their popularity for support so i cant let all that be ruined just bc a little first year girl couldnt fight for herself’

‘just tell them, kid. less problems’

then he stood up to leave

‘kid?! im only a year younger than you! what you mean!’

but you were panicking

someone knew about you being hurt and they could easily tell the team

and it only increased when he entered the gym and later introduced himself as a player

you were so surprised that you stopped breathing

‘kyo-san,,,’

you muttered and he glared at you

well, more like look at you but i have a theory that kyo actually has problems w his sight so it looks like he’s glaring at you constantly but hes just actually trying to see clearly

‘yo’

oikawa was surprised at this interaction

‘eh? you know kyoken-chan?’

you nodded, still looking at the blonde

‘i-uh’

‘its none of your business’

kyotani grunted and you sighed in relief

maybe your secret would be safe

you were still uneasy about him accidentally revealing it, especially since he practically worships iwaizumi-san, but he kept his mouth shut

your caring personality at first was overbearing on him but he appreciated your efforts like volunteering on helping him with his eyeliner or asking him if he needed help with his medical tape

ngl, he also thought you were there just bc it was a team full of guys and you thought you could have that weird girl fantasy of having a harem

but you cared for them like practically a mother and continuously made it clear to oikawa that you were NOT interested in going on a date with him

you werent annoying, you were nice, and you weren’t pushy so he actually showed you respect and took a liking to you

this created a soft of protectiveness around you

sometimes, he would see you around school and he would practically glare at the girls he knew hated you

and when he wasnt there to protect you, you would call him to the nurses office where he would mumble apologies of not being there while patching you up before he would go over and threaten them to touch you again and he would bite their fingers off

aww hes so cute

ofc he still kept your secret bc it wasnt his business to tell

until that one day

it was normal practice with you helping the boys toss the balls so they could spike it

iwaizumi spiked it really hard making you flinch and he apologized profusely after you almost fell off the chair you were standing on in surprise

‘im just angry that that damn shittykawa is the captain and is late to his own damn practice’

oikawa? late?

that was unheard of

you were about to get off the chair and look for him when the devil himself entered the gym with the devil’s mistress on his arm

miyo was holding on to his arm as he laughed at something she said and ruffled her hair

you dropped the ball and kyotani quickly moved to you so he could stand in front of you protectively

‘oi! shittykawa! youre late!’

oikawa just smiled and pointed at the girl

‘miyo-chan made us cookies, iwa-chan!’

at the mention of food, the boys ran forward but you and kyotani remained at the side at the infamous name

you got off the chair and hurriedly placed an arm in front of him

‘don’t, kyo-san’

‘the bitch-’

‘i know. but please, dont’

you begged and he huffed before aggresively wrapping an arm around your shoulder

aggressively cares for you

‘if she does something or even talks shit, i will-’

‘kyoken-chan! y/n-chan! come here!’

oikawa called but kyotani snarled at him

you smile wobbled when miyo’s eyes narrowed at you and she smirked

‘oh? your manager is so cute, oikawa-kun!’

the rest of the team was just blinking at this weird tension

kyo had his arm tightly around you and hatingly glaring at this girl, who was icily smirking at you, and you tightly holding kyo’s shirt with a worried glint in your eyes

‘you were late to your own damn practice, oikawa. stop wasting time eating this shit and go back to playing’

tbh it still shocks you at how rudely kyo talks to oikawa but you were too pre-occupied on making sure this kid wasnt going to lunge at this girl

‘a-ah, right. oikawa-san, we have to return to practice. if you excuse us, miyo-san-’

you were about to gently grab oikawa’s arm to bring him back when she grabbed your wrist and secretly gripped it

‘oh, dont be so uptight, y/n-chan! i worked so hard-’

but kyo immediately snatched her hand away from you and squeezed it as tight as he could, making her wince

oikawa noticed the pain in miyo’s face and he was angry that kyotani was hurting a girl

‘oi! kyotani!’

he shouted and pushed him away, making the team, even iwa, worriedly look at kyo and brace themselves for the beating

iwa jumped into action and held the second year back while you jumped in front of oikawa

‘kyo-san, calm-’

‘you! be quiet’

he shouted, finger pointing at you

‘and you!’

before pointing to oikawa

‘you are a shitty captain’

‘kyotani!’

iwa was just straight out confused and hes really questioning life decisions right now

mom is stressed and confused, i repeat, MOM IS STRESSED AND CONFUSED

oikawa’s eyes narrowed but he just calmly talked

‘we’ll talk about this later’

‘miyo-san, we really need to practice so if you could see yourself out’

iwa gently smiled to the girl, who was about to protest, but makki and mattsun has already pointed to the door

she huffed then turned to leave and once she was gone, iwa let go of kyotani

‘kyotani, what the hell was that’

oikawa lowly asked and you were about to put your arms out to separate them but yahaba and watari grabbed you so you wouldnt be caught in the middle

then kyo turned to you, fire in his eyes

‘either you tell him or i will’

can we just talk about how protective kyo is?

you trembled and you roughly left yahaba and watari’s grip so you could gently place your hands on his chest

‘please, kyo. just leave it, okay? remember, it’s my busi-’

‘if i see that bitch enter this gym again, i dont give a flying fuck if shes a girl. ill beat the living daylights out of her’

‘kyotani kentarou, what-!’

oikawa shouted but your glare shut him up

‘y/n-chan, what is going on’

‘n-nothing. kyo-san is just, yknow, being him. you know? okay. now lets get back to practice, everyone!’

coach irihata and the other guy sharing that look

to say the least, miyo was pissed

and when she was pissed at you, she always did what she normally does

she corners you wherever its deserted and beat you with the help of her minions who holds you down while she slaps, hits, or kicks you

girlie you needs to tell the boys youre literally getting hit and abused and im just-!!!!!!!!!

and thats exactly what she did

only this time, she wore hard-tipped shoes

‘see, y/n-chan? i saved up and got these shoes just for you!’

the minions were just sharing looks of fear and genuine sympathy for you

they were only there bc she blackmailed them with pictures doing questionable things and if they dont help, they would be released

as usual, you didnt cry, biting your lip as you winced from the pain of her kick at your side

‘youre so pathetic. how could you do this to a person? and all this for your oikawa-san? for a boy?’

you wheezed at her causing her eyes to flare

‘HAH?! SAY THAT AGAIN!’

‘i said-’

but you were cut off when she slapped the soul out of you

her ring cut you at the lip and you cringed at the taste of blood from your lip

‘what else? we gotta hurry this up, miyo, because practice started like 5 minutes ago and im going to get yel-’

‘SHUT UP!’

kyotani entered the gym after his talk with his teacher and immediately looked around for you

his honey brown eyes scanned the area and they widened as your figure wasn’t in sight

‘oi, yahaba, wheres the manager’

the boy shrugged from the side

‘i dont know. shes late though’

oh god

‘kindaichi! kunimi! youre in the same grade right? did you see where she went after class?’

kunimi paused to remember before answering

‘she stayed after to talk to obe-sensei for the homework, that’s all i know’

that meant she stayed behind and was probably somewhere

‘SHIT!’

he shouted before bolting out the door

ofc the boys were all worried of his outburst and started yelling after him

‘kyotani!’

‘kyoken-chan?!’

they followed him, who was running as fast as he can

the girls would probably do it outside to avoid having to clean up their mess and he almost wrenched the door open in a hurry to take a lap around the school building

it was certainly a sight to see: a boy with dyed blonde hair and two brown lines followed after an entire volleyball team who were screaming after him

‘YOU-!’

he heard that bitch voice and bolted towards the back, where the dumpster was, and found you at the same position like the first time he saw you

blood was dripping on the floor from your busted lip and a cut on your cheek while your eyes were wide at the sight of kyotani’s panting form

‘kyo-!’

‘kyotani!’

your eyes watered at the sight of the entire volleyball team behind him, also eviqualiently surprised yet fuming angry

the girls who held you dropped your arms and ran for the hills so they wouldnt get caught

kyo pushed miyo aside as he grabbed you from the floor and held you

oikawa gave miyo a look that cannot even be described in words

all it was: incredibly, super, ridiculously, heatedly, furiously, angry

now multiply that by the entire team

‘hm, my father, who is the chieftain of the police, mentioned about there being jail time for even minors who commit serious acts like assault or bullying’

mattsun seethed

‘really? i think he’d like the video as evidence against kenta miyo for assault and battery, including bullying, so how many years would that add up to? nearly a decade?’

the girl miyo squeaked as oikawa and iwaizumi roughly grabbed each wrist

‘how long’

miyo trembled at the increased pressure on her wrist

‘IM ASKING YOU A FUCKING QUESTION! HOW LONG!’

iwaizumi has never shouted at a girl before and hopefully, it would be the last

‘s-s-since l-last month’

you burrowed your head in kyotani’s shirt

‘please dont’

‘shut the fk up, y/n-chan, we’re not talking to you right now’

oikawa coldly reprimanded

‘everyone, take y/n away. iwaizumi and i can take care of this. but mattsun, makki, track down those 3 girls and find others who have even touched our manager’

‘got it, boss’

if it was in a different situation, you wouldve applauded oikawa at his ability to be a leader but you were currently in pain from the bruises and the cuts all over you

your fellow first-years were angrily punching things in the nurse’s office

rip nurse in the morning when she finds holes all over her walls

the irony is, the most agressive one, kyotani kentarou, was the calmest as he quietly cleaned your wounds and placed ointment on the bruises

‘i told you so’

he mumbled and you scoffed

‘howd you find me anyways?’

‘dumb bitch yaps really loud’

he answered

no one was yelling at you and no one was saying a word

eventually, oikawa and iwaizumi entered followed by the rest of the third years

‘why. why didnt you tell us, y/n?’

oikawa asked as he sat down on the chair beside the bed

you looked down and fiddled with your fingers

‘if i did, you wouldve hurt her. and she wouldve spread rumors about you and ruin the image and reputation of the grand king and the volleyball team. i didnt want to do that to you and thought i could just endure it one year since youre graduating anyways’

iwaizumi sucked in a harsh breath

‘you wouldn’t have known what we were going to do. you are no oracle and you dont know how we are going to handle this situation. so you were really stupid for keeping these things to yourself, y/n. you may be our manager and our caretaker but let us take care of you too’

you nodded but your tears fell

‘sorry. im really sorry. i didnt meant to trouble you’

‘stop apologizing, y/n’

‘sorry’

‘y/n!’

you bowed your head low and bit your lip in guilt

‘i shouldve told you but i didnt and now everyone is troubled-’

‘we’re a team, y/n. youre not a lone wolf anymore. you have a pack standing right beside you’

watari mumbled and he sat down to give you his favorite hug: the one arm hug

‘im super angry right now and it might seem like im snappy but i really want you to know, y/n, that i really love you and i am just hurt that you didnt trust us enough to tell us you were suffering when i trust you with my entire being. so next time youre hurting or in pain, dont you dare keep it to yourself. tell us, okay? tell your senpais and friends about it so we can share that burden’

oikawa babie you are so mature like what-

what started out as a hug from watari turned into a team hug around the tiny bed, even kyo joined, and you were so happy you found a good team that appreciated you and everything youve done and accepted you as one of their own

‘oikawa-san, what did you do to miyo?’

‘again, im mad y/n-chan, so please dont talk about her right now’

‘iwa-san?’

‘dont use those puppy eyes on me! dont you dare-- okay, we’re pressing charges’

silence

‘WHAT?!’

‘and iwa-chan slapped her!’

‘WHAT?!’

‘shut up shittykawa you did too!’

‘WHAT?!’

a/n: this hurted a bit and im sorry if this was lowkey awkward and all over the place but i didnt exactly know how to portray this situation since ive never experienced this, just bullying in general, before but for those who have, please tell someone so that you dont have to carry that burden by yourself. it doesnt have to be a your parents, but talk to a trusted adult so that this type of stuff doesnt happen to you bc you truly dont deserve that type of treatment and deserve to be happy and feel safe in an environment like school or anywhere in general

1K notes · View notes

hxwks-gf · 4 years ago

Text

ー don’t make me beg

pairing: bakugo x reader

summary: you run into bakugo, your ex-boyfriend, at a party. heated confessions ensue.

warnings: swearing, mentions of drinking, some suggestive themes, bakugo is a subby simp at the end lmfao i couldn’t resist. everyone is 21+ because drinking

w/c: 2.7k

a/n: so this thought actually came to me randomly in the middle of the night last night and i just now got around to writing it out. for optimal reading experience, listen to these songs as you read (i’ll put another link in the actual fic as a reminder, idk you don’t have to i just thought it would be fun)

♫ outre lux - onism

♫ fire for you - cannons

♫ all your love - jakob ogawa

9:27 PM

“I don’t know,” you sighed into the phone, rolling over on your back and kicking your feet up against the wall of your bedroom. You wiggled your toes in their mismatched socks and pouted. “I’m not really in a party mood tonight, Mina.”

“C’mon,” she whined on the other end, in that strange “Mina” way that almost always got you to say yes. “Just for a little bit! We’ve been working so hard at the agency, we deserve a night off for once!”

You sighed again and sat up normally, resting your chin in your hand. She had a point: you were both worked to the bone from the seemingly endless patrols and stacks of paperwork. Who knew that this is where you would end up at after graduation? Your eyes flickered over to your closet, already putting an outfit together in your head. “Alright, fine. But only for a little bit.”

Mina squealed in excitement. “Perfect! This will be good, I promise.”

♫ outre lux - onism

Not long after the call had ended, Mina came and picked you up and drove you to a different part of town you vaguely recognized. She led you up the steps of an apartment building, and you could already hear the bass of the music reverberating through the walls. The room was a few floors up and at the end of a long hall with the door propped open. Mina carelessly let herself inside, dragging you with her by your hand.

“Mina!” a familiar voice called over the music. Your eyes wandered along the various groups of partygoers, admiring the glow from the neon signs that decorated the walls. There were a few people you recognized: Midoriya and Ururaka were awkwardly dancing together, with Iida not too far away from them. There were others from your graduating class, including Kirishima, who was walking towards you and Mina with a wide grin on his face.

“You made it!” he said, stopping in front of you. “Thanks for coming, you guys! Help yourselves to some drinks, there’s also some pizza left, I think.”

Mina hugged him. “For sure! But right now, I just really want to dance.” She turned towards you and raised her eyebrows. “Wanna come?”

“I’ll be okay,” you said as you ushered her forward. “I’ll find you later, alright?”

She nodded and disappeared into the group of people, leaving you alone with Kirishima, who awkwardly rubbed the back of his head.

“It’s awesome that you came, y/n,” he said, flashing another grin. “Wasn’t sure if you were going to.”

You shrugged your shoulders. “Mina has a way with words, you know?”

Kirishima laughed. “That she does.”

“So if this is your party….” Your words trailed off as your eyes slid across the faces of everyone in the room, feeling like everything was slowing down around you. A slow, bass-boosted song started playing. “...does that mean Katsuki is here?”

Your gaze answered your own question once they landed on your ex-boyfriend standing off in the corner with Kaminari. He was arguing with him about something, his hand tightly gripping the red solo cup and the other pointed menacingly at Denki’s goofy expression. God, he looked good. He was wearing your favorite shirt of his: a simple black v-neck, paired with his nicest jeans that hugged his ass perfectly. For a brief moment, you met Kaminari’s eyes, and his face changed. He leaned over and whispered something in Bakugo’s ear.

Bakugo’s head turned and his crimson gaze landed on you standing near the entrance with Kirishima. You swallowed nervously, staring right back at him, and it felt as if the entire room melted away and left just the two of you.

“...sorry, I should’ve told Mina ahead of time,” you heard Kirishima saying to you. You squeezed your hands into fists at your sides.

“It’s alright,” you found yourself replying. You broke your gaze from Bakugo and offered Kirishima a reassuring smile. “We’re adults here, right? I came to relax and have fun.”

The lie almost sounded believable. But Kirishima said nothing about it and simply returned your grin, pushing you towards the kitchen. “Get a drink or two in you,” he said, blocking Bakugo from view. “I’m sure Mina needs a dance partner soon.”

♫ fire for you - cannons

“Right,” you laughed, and he left you alone in the kitchen. Once he was out of earshot, you released the nervous breath you had been holding and tried to still your trembling hands. It had been just a few months since you and Bakugo had “mutually” split, but in reality, it had been his idea. He wanted to focus on his career and you wanted to get more serious. As you opened the refrigerator, you remembered the teary, sniffling goodbye you gave him on the steps of your apartment building as he carried a box of his stuff. He didn’t so much as bat an eye.

“You’re an adult, you’re here to have fun, just don’t think about him,” you muttered to yourself as you cracked open a bottle of cider.

“Think about who?”

You jumped in surprise and nearly dropped your drink. “Jesus,” you groaned, and then glared at Bakugo standing in the doorway, his hands tucked into his jeans. “Don’t fucking sneak up on someone like that.”

The corner of his mouth lifted up in a smile. “You were always so easy to scare.”

A blush crept into your cheeks and you looked away from him. “What do you want?” you asked, taking a sip of your drink. The floor of the kitchen suddenly became incredibly fascinating as you avoided meeting his eyes.

“Didn’t think you’d be here tonight,” he said. “Did Raccoon Eyes con you into it?”

“Don’t call her that,” you said sharply, looking up at him again. “And no, she didn’t con me into it. I wanted to come.” You gave him a once-over. “What are you doing here, anyway? You hate things like this.”

Bakugo leaned against the doorframe and shrugged. “Kirishima said that if I came, other people would too. Guess I’m just popular.”

“Right,” you said sarcastically, rolling your eyes and fiddling with the bottle in your hands. “I don’t think popular is the right word I would use.”

He took a few steps closer to you and you could smell his cologne. It was the scent he knew you loved the most, you noticed. Interesting. Wearing your favorite shirt and your favorite cologne? It was almost like he knew you were planning on coming tonight.

“What’s the word you would use then?” he asked, his voice low and gravelly as he leaned back against the sink, his hands bracing on the edge of the counter on either side of him. You didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of being overpowered, so you stood your ground and refused to move from your spot, taking another drink of cider.

“What are you talking about?” you asked, risking a glance at him. You instantly regretted it. He was looking at you with that rare expression of admiration that only you ever had the privilege of seeing behind closed doors when the two of you were still together, but it still made your heart beat faster and faster, even now.

“The word you would use,” he said, blinking slowly at you. “Or do I still have that effect on you? That makes you forget what you were saying?”

“You’re so full of shit, I need a plunger,” you snapped, turning away from him and escaping to the other side of the kitchen. “What are you doing? Why are you talking to me?”

For a moment, Bakugo actually looked….hurt. His Adam’s apple bobbed in his throat as he swallowed, but a brief moment and it was gone. “I’m sorry,” he said tightly, crossing his arms. “Enjoy the party, y/n.” Without letting you reply, he stalked out of the kitchen and disappeared from view, leaving you all alone, confused and trembling and….sad.

“Jesus Christ,” you muttered, and you stared at the bottle in your hands. You blew a raspberry at it and tipped it back, downing the rest of the cider in a few, full gulps. He wasn’t allowed to ruin the fun you were supposed to be having tonight. You tossed the bottle into the recycling bin and left the kitchen.

“y/n!” Mina called to you from the middle of the living room, where most of the dancing was. She was swaying and shimmying to the song that was playing, her hands in the air and her face in a state of perpetual happiness. “Dance with me!”

“Alright,” you laughed, slipping into the midst of the dancers and following her movements. After a while, you felt yourself slowly beginning to relax, nearly forgetting your awkward encounter with Bakugo in the kitchen. You deserved this. You deserved to have fun, and he wasn’t going to take it from you.

“I hear that He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named is here,” Mina said into your ear over the music with a comedic grimace on her face. “Did he talk to you?”

You nodded. “Yeah, in the kitchen. He was acting weird.”

“Probably because you looked hot as fuck tonight and he realized what exactly he’s been missing,” she said. Her eyes lit up with mischief. “What if you made him jealous?”

“I don’t want anyone getting wheeled out of here on a gurney,” you laughed, but the thought remained in the back of your head. You did look good tonight, and there was bound to be someone who wanted to have a couple dances with you. But what would you gain from it? It would just be sending Bakugo the message that you weren’t over him yet (which was true, but he didn’t need to know that). “I think I just want to dance, have a few more drinks, and that’s it.”

Mina rolled her eyes but nodded. “Fair enough.”

But as hard as you tried to forget, your mind kept going back to Bakugo. His scent, his voice, his warmthーyou fucking missed him, you missed him so much it hurt. Seeing him for the first time in months from across the room had hit you like a truck and flooded your mind with memories of his kiss, his touch, and his love. The harder you danced, the heavier it weighed on your mind, until a pit of nausea bubbled in your stomach.

“I think I’m going to take a break,” you said to Mina over the music. The room suddenly felt cramped and small, with too many people and too much noise. You needed fresh air. But as you slipped out of the group of dancers, you saw that the patio was full of people standing around and mingling.

“Shit,” you muttered, and turned around to make your way to the bathroom. It was so loud. Were there this many people when you first came here?

♫ all your love - jakob ogawa

As you moved past bodies standing in the hallway, you were sure you heard someone call your name, but you didn’t stop until you were safely behind the door of the bathroom. The music was muffled and shook the walls as you leaned against the sink, glaring at your reflection.

“Get it together,” you hissed at yourself. “It’s just a fucking party.”

Someone knocked outside, startling you. “In use!” you called out.

“It’s me,” Bakugo’s voice came from the other side. “Can you let me in?”

You felt your heart drop. He was the last person you wanted on the other side of that door. But somehow, you found your hand twisting the knob and cracking it open, meeting his eyes through it.

“You alright?”

“I’m fine,” you lied, trying to keep your voice level.

“You sure?” Bakugo knew you weren’t telling the truth.

“Yes,” you replied, but your voice cracked on the word. You squeezed your eyes shut and inwardly groaned. You could smell his scent again, as well as feel the ever-present warmth that never seemed to leave him.

Before you could protest, Bakugo was pushing the door open and letting himself in, careful to close and lock it behind him. You backed away and sat on the edge of the bathtub, not wanting to meet his eyes. However, he knelt in front of you and tilted his head to the side, bracing his hands on either side of you.

“What’s going on?” he asked, and his voice rumbled through you like a waterfall.

“Rich of you to ask that,” you muttered, feeling the shameful sting of tears in your eyes.

He sighed. “I really am sorry for what happened, y/n.”

This wasn’t like him to apologize so brazenly. You risked a glance up at him, and he was looking at you so intensely, you immediately averted your gaze. But a brief moment later and you felt his index finger beneath your chin, slowly lifting it so you were forced to look at him again.

“Why are you doing this?” you whimpered, a single tear slipping out and sliding down your cheek. “We broke up, Katsuki. You wanted to break up.”

His jaw set. “I know,” he growled, his thumb reaching up and swiping the tear away. “But I just...I can’t imagine you with anyone else. I can’t imagine being with anyone else.”

“Stop it,” you sniffled, pulling your chin away and swatting at his hand. “Stop. You don’t get to do this. You don’t get to hold me on the end of a leash like this, and tightening it whenever you’re in your feelings. At the end of it all, you were the one who left, Katsuki. And it’s not fair to me.”

He stared at you with wide eyes. For a minute, he looked like the regular Bakugo. But it passed, and he dropped his eyes in shame.

“I know it’s not fair,” he muttered, sitting back and resting his arms on his knees. He stared at his hands. “I don’t know why I’m doing it. It’s just...seeing you tonight for the first time in months, you looked so fucking beautiful and I felt so fucking stupid.”

You looked down at him from where you sat on the edge of the tub, your eyes blurring with tears. “What do you want from me, Katsuki?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.

“I want you to come home!” he exploded, looking up at you with a fierceness in his eyes, it almost frightened you. “I fucking miss you, alright? I hate waking up in an empty bed in the mornings.” He ground his teeth and glared at his hands again. “I miss your laugh. I miss those goddamn stupid songs you would play when you did the dishes. I just miss you.”

You closed your eyes and took a trembling breath. “So what are you saying?” you asked, feeling your fingernails dig into your palms. “Do you want to get back together? Is that what you want?”

“Don’t make me beg,” you heard him mutter.

Oh. Oh. Your eyes opened and you looked down at him again. He saw the wicked glint in your gaze and he ran his hands through his hair with a scoff.

“No,” he said, glaring at you. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

“That sucks,” you simpered. “I’ll see you around then, Katsuki.” You made to get up and leave the bathroom, but his hand shot out and wrapped around your wrist, forcing you to stop.

“y/n,” he growled.

You arched an eyebrow down at him. “Yes?”

A moment passed and he forcefully exhaled through his nose, as if working himself up to something.

“Please,” he finally spoke through gritted teeth.

“Please what?”

“Can we please try again?” Bakugo asked, his fingers tightening around your wrist.

You reached down and lifted his chin with an index finger, much like he did with you. His crimson eyes burned so hot as they met your own, and you smiled at him.

“I like it when you beg,” you murmured, and a furious blush blossomed across his cheeks. “You should do it more often.”

“Is that a yes?” he asked as he got to his feet, now towering over you.

“Perhaps,” you mused, taking your bottom lip in between your teeth. “I’ll decide in the morning after you’ve made me breakfast.”

“Breakfastー?” Bakugo stopped and grinned. “Oh, you think you’re funny, do you?” His hands wrapped around your waist and he pulled you into his chest, dipping his head to brush a gentle but sultry kiss across your lips. “Good enough for me.”

#bro i'm living for simp!bakugo #i need more of him #anyways tell me what you guys thought of incorporating music into it #bakugou katsuki #bakugo katsuki #bakugou x reader #bakugou x you #bakugou x y/n #bakugou fanfiction #bakugou fanfic #my hero academia #my hero academia fanfiction #boku no hero academia #boku no hero academia fanfiction

173 notes · View notes

mego42 · 4 years ago

Text

Shamelessly stealing @foxmagpie’s monthly rec thing without the ability to get my life together to do these on a monthly basis so, seasonal recs! So excited to see if I manage to do this again with anything remotely resembling consistency but i’ve been keeping the notes for approximately 43 years (or since ~september, whatever that means) so by god i’m gonna use them.

found my thrill - s_t_c_s / @sothischickshe

Turner POV!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

guys turner is SO OBSESSED with Beth and Rio

both canonically and in this fic

it’s gr9

also features a weirdly soothing and relatable cord untangling moment as a metaphor

truly disturbingly relatable turner pov tbh

relentless boomer disdain, always a plus

led to the creation of this monstrosity, not sure what kind of a monster would do that

War In My Mind - mintletters16

Backread!!!!

post-213, gorgeous character study

guaranteed to make you feEl stUfF

I really love the like, cyclical, fractured pattern of Beth’s internal monologue, it gives the whole thing a really affecting at times dreamy, at times haunted vibe

the end twist is *chef’s kiss*

mourning bells - Ejunkiet / @ejunkiet

Backread!!!!

Later s2 era, Rio’s at a funeral, gets drunk and calls Beth

V short, kind of…..mmm, not sweet, but almost? Idk

It’s got a wistful sort of almost/i can be quiet with you vibe that i go extremely bonkers for

delinquents - foxmagpie / @foxmagpie

Lol are any of you actually not reading this yet?

g o d ch 8 where do i start

First off how ABSOLUTELY VERY DARE for the tragic angst that is delinquents!beth boland. This poor baby, this precious bean. MUST PROTEC

SHE’S TRYING HER BEST AND I LOVE HER

zero percent deserves dean’s clammy hands, no i have not forgotten, tattooed on my brain, will never forgive

I also love love love love LOVE the ruby/stan subplot happening

(and ruby’s mom!!!!!) (seriously though you write the best moms)

oh god and baby beth starting to have confusing feelings about rio?????? *chef’s kiss*

p sure i was just like, straight screaming the entire end of the chapter

the dugout is like, pure serotonin

I can’t even talk about the closet

tHe teNsiOn

thank you i will take eleventy billion

don't give it a hand, offer it a soul - medievalraven / @medievalraven

am a desperate heaux for any fic that features rio and mick friendship

you are all incredibly shocked i know

still would not be mad if this swerved into rio x mick fake dating but beth x rio is cool too i guess

Speaking of things i am a desperate heaux for: DIANE!!!!!!!!

and DATING ANNIE???????????? Blessed

honestly this fic is worth it purely for the assertion that mick watches queer eye

Why don't we go to Venus? - watermelonriddles / @bensonstablers

another grief study!

apparently i was working through some stuff in september, idk, that was like 4 years ago

considering it’s the premise of the fic, i don’t think it’s a spoiler to say this fic is canon divergent and working with the premise that rio killed beth in 302

he is uh, not coping well

extremely haunted you might say

lots of marcus and rhea which is a delight!

rhea is to good for him tbh

i said what i said

truly top notch dream (nightmare?) sequences

the conversation at the end is extremely uncalled for

drop the game - Ejunkiet / @ejunkiet

Backread!!!!

Am going to die mad Beth and Rio didn’t hook up in 211 but luckily this fic scratched the itch

(temporarily, it’s a fairly permanent itch)

Bonus rec: missing scene series i wanna do bad things to you featuring 2x02 and 2x04

Viva Voce - zetuslapetus / @querenaxx

Whoops we woke up married Vegas shenanigans!!

So cute!!!!! So sexy!!!!!

What more do you want?

am desperately obsessed with how beth can’t help stalking rio

feels right, feels organic

this makes me feel a lot of stuff about how they could be without their canon garbage between them

🎶 we could’ve had it aaaaaaaaaaall 🎶

you showed me colors (i can't see them with anyone else) - gild_fire / @gild-and-fire

really into the use of color to illustrate beth’s emotional state, i feel like there’s a word for that but idk what it is

UNIMPORTANT

really nice job capturing beth’s inner vulnerability balanced by her outer stubbornness

am DESPERATELY into Mick playing matchmaker

more please???????

Both Sides of the Law - JoeyLee / @joeyjoeylee

LAW SCHOOL AU! I suuuuuuper love Beth and Rio here (alt pov!! a gift!!!!) I love how initially prickly they are, I love how it’s evolving into a grudging respect, I love how INCREDIBLY AND HILARIOUSLY OBSESSED WITH EACH OTHER THEY ARE and neither one of them seems to see it

listen I know we’re all already foaming at the mouth over this one but as it’s gonna go down as one of my all time favorites it bears repeating/rereccing

cannot stress enough how masterful the use of POV is here, both voices feel completely true and distinct and I love how the alternating chapters revisit, reveal and emphasize pieces of each other

i can’t talk about this fic without hyperventilating

I LOVE IT SO MUCH YOU GUYS

the slow burn is going to ACTUALLY KILL ME

rip, no regrats

Earned It - wakeupflawless / @wakeupflawless

spanking

that’s it that’s the pitch

H O T

living for beth’s exit in the first chapter, rio and i are both incredibly into it

second chapter also features violently possessive Rio who cannot deal with anyone messing with his girl so if that’s your thing boy howdy get on it

shake, baby, shake - openhearts

backread!!!!!

according to my bookmarks this was a reread but ???????

must’ve read it in the fugue state that followed reading for a moment we were strangers which is gr9 and I believe I have recced it before. If not, horrible oversight, reccing it now

beth and Rio POV lead up to the bathroom break, beautifully done, low-key feel bad reccing it bc the end point of both chapters makes me want to throw things but it’s super worth it for the tEnsiOn. ENJOY

What the Sea Wants, the Sea Will Have - flashindie / @pynkhues

I’m assuming all of y’all are already reading this

If not OH MY GOD FIX YOUR LIVES

P I R A T E A U

I’m sorry maybe you didn’t hear me piRaTE aU

meticulously researched, brain-meltingly vibrant, already painfully sexy slow-burning PIRATE AU

god where to start okay so first off, the world-building here straight up breaks my brain, sophie’s put in the work and it SHOWS

second, the atmosphere. i’m generally a pretty like, vague mental picture sort of reader but the sensory detail here grabs you by the throat and like, forcibly hauls you in whether your brain’s wired that way or no

and hey speaking of throats if you, like me, go a little funny about the knees at the idea of beth holding a knife to rio’s throat (he’s fine, calm down), there’s a v excellent beth-in-a-barrel moment for you

oh christ and the sexy tension

it’s gonna be a race to see which slow burn takes me out first, this or law school

Stunner - foxmagpie / @foxmagpie

Another high school AU, this time with baby Rio absolutely head over heels for his older sister’s bff

stunner!Rio has an emotional earnestness about him that I feel like delinquents!Rio has already outgrown and it’s so SWEET I can’t get enough

Desperately cute!!!!!!

alL he waNts iS foR beTh tO bE hiS girL

also unreasonably angsty???????

ANN ARBOR IS NOT THAT FAR MEGAN

A Heart's A Heavy Burden - tooshyforthis / @bathroombreaks

Howl’s Moving Castle AU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love Howl’s!!!!!!!!!!!

perfect opp to roast Rio for being a Dramatique Heaux

and it’s gonna be 9 chapters?????? H Y P E

author’s note boldly presumes I did not know I needed this AU when the reality is I did in fact know I needed this AU, I just wasn’t expecting anyone to deliver

so blessed

author also claims to not be team nose stud and yet it features prominently in all its magnificent glory

what is the truth dot gif

A Bit of a Stretch - septiembre / @septiembur

SO????? CUTE?????????

would be on this list for Rio calling Beth E alone tbh

really really really really really love this Rio POV of being settled into a relationship with Beth

It manages to be sweetly domestic af while still holding the edge that makes brio brio which is a neat trick

@septiembur may be a witch

beth’s approach to getting rio to do yoga with her is hilarious and exactly right, canon-typical amounts of subtlety

1000000/10

Post Break-Up Sex - femalegothic / @bethsuglywigs

stg this was called Hit Shuffle

no matter

h O T

with a side of damn i’ve made some questionable choices in my life haven’t i introspection

(no regrats tho)

(esp not with this fic)

not the point of the fic by a long shot but i’m also extremely obsessed with Weed Eddie, so real

She drains my soul... she drains it not - niham87 / @niham87

ABSOLUTELY OBSESSED WITH THIS CONCEPT

am a complete sucker for paranormal world building that satirizes bureaucracy

Is that a trope? If so that’s my favorite

I did it. I’m picking a single favorite. You know what that is growth dot gif

ANYWAY i love the concept, i love the humor, i love beth instantly clicking with annie

I love her and mick’s sort of grudging professional courtesy

Love beth as a champion of environmental responsibility and all of the underworld being like …...okay??

cannot wait to see where this goes

Nine-Tenths - riosnecktattoo / @riosnecktattoo

*INCOHERENT PTERODACTYL SCREECHING*

sometimes i think about rio putting beth’s hair in a ponytail and have to go lie down

science please explain why this rUinS mE

wait hold on i skipped ahead

HEY KIDS DO YOU LIKE UNBEARABLY CUTE DOMESTIC TENDERNESS

opens with rio sleepily holding beth’s hand to his heart so that’s the kind of thing you’ll be dealing with

uGH theY’RE sO CUTe

idk why precisely but rio adding hair ties to his bracelet collection is my undoing every time

Missed Call - foxmagpie / @foxmagpie

Rio doesn’t come home from a job when he’s supposed to. Beth (and I!!!!!!!) slowly loses her mind

Truly a masterpiece of rising tension

Will literally never forgive her for calling this light angst

I was SO STRESSED OUT

The first person to point out there was an author’s note at the beginning I obvs didn’t read is getting blocked

crush - foxmagpie / @foxmagpie

Listen even though this is centered around two OCs, they are OCs FROM a (n iconic) brio fic AND Beth, Ruby and Rio all make cameos (I mean, Rio’s pretty present since he lives in Mar’s mind rent free bc they are THE SWEETEST MOST ADORABLE BEST OF FRIENDS so idk if i’d call it a cameo but whatever)

and even if it didn’t feature any official GG characters I’d still rec is bc that’s mY SON AND this fic is TOO CUTE

I have so many feelings over mar and rio growing up and not knowing how to cope with girls becoming a Thing in their life and how it affects their friendship and mar feeling left behind but (SPOILERS) at the end of the story rio starts feeling that too and it’s so poignant knowing how that’s going to continue in delinquents

while mar may be my son, i also claim elena’s #1 stan status

before you’re like meg you’re only reccing it bc it’s a bday present ask yourselves do i really strike you as the kind of person that wouldn’t be equally obnoxious about this either way?

truly cannot fathom how hard i have fallen for these OCs i don’t normally do that

@foxmagpie is definitely a witch

The Ottoman - Niham87 / @niham87

look i will be the first to admit that i don’t go near as bonkers over the ottoman line in 308 as y’all do

(don’t get me wrong, i love it!!! I love that he laughs and i love that she’s pleased it just doesn’t hit my lose my whole mind button like idk, the dubby or the 306 convo, idk why)

BUT i v v v much love the context this delightful Rio POV pwp gives it

am also absolutely feral for 209 missing scene fic

and anything that captures the complexity of Rio’s s3 feelings for Beth and how twisted they’ve become

so this scratches a bunch of itches, is what i’m trying to say

Bet On It - zetuslapetus / @querenaxx

*INCOHERENT PTERODACTYL SCREECHING*

That’s what my brain does when I think about Beth and Rio meeting in ch 1

am DESPERATELY OBSESSED WITH the tension between the two of them in this fic

I love how it plays with the ways they have to rely on but don’t trust each other

plus FAKE DATING and BED SHARING (fair warning hasn’t happened yet but the set up is there)

originally supposed to be 2 chapters, already up to 4, prayer circle it goes on forever

do you like drugs (tonight) - s_t_c_s / @sothischickshe

v important focus on hydration, other fic should take note

extremely about the use of cut to and then flashback to enhance the ‘we were on drugs’ vibe

speaking of, beth and rio absolutely would take ecstasy to prove they are fun bc they are the exact kind of idiots that would peer pressure themselves

so glad beth kept her purse, got a bit stressed there for a second, clutches in that kind of circumstance are A Risk

not that i would know

FLAWLESS USE OF VOICEMAIL TBH

really love the ongoing denial that they are remotely into each other while proceeding to demonstrate how they are in fact, extremely into each other, great vibe

rio dances

I know my brain broke too

mmmm bacon

Navigate A Broken Path - flashindie / @pynkhues

*INCOHERENT PTERODACTYL SCREECHING*

I have a long standing tradition of getting unreasonably obsessed with side characters so i’m not like, entirely surprised by how obsessed i am with both Mick and Mary Pat but i never in a million years considered them as a ship

AND Y E T

they fit????? so perfectly?????? It’s amazing how she developes them individually enough that i look at them together and think ah yes this makes perfect sense for both characters

and they’re such an amazing foil to Beth and Rio?

can ships have foils? do i know what a foil is?

unimportant

GUYS you dON’T uNDERStAN d

hell i don’t understand

how absolutely very dare you make me care about YET ANOTHER set of gg ‘verse children

do not read this fic if you have no interest in feelings you zero percent asked for

wHA t hAPPeNED iN aLASkA?????????

A Moment’s Silence - femalegothic / @bethsuglywigs

*makes sign of the cross*

y’all are gonna make me rediscover religion

extremely appreciate the author’s note approach to backstory top notch prioritization

listen it’s basically 3k of beth deep throating rio idk what more you need me to say about it

it is…..good stuff

bless the kinkmeme or fest whatever we’re calling it

praise - civillove / @blainesebastian

I mean you had me at “three times rio calls beth a good girl and one time he really means it”

ephemeral rio

I left that note for myself in here in the middle of the night and haven’t the foggiest what i was thinking but i stand by it none the less

okay okay i think i know what i meant, this fic (as do all of my fav civillove brio fics) has this sort of like, liminal, in the quiet moments feel to them that makes the moments and feelings somehow feel like i’m catching a glimpse of something secret and precious???

idk i just really like it okay

Heart and Soul - riosnecktattoo / @riosnecktattoo

oh look more unbearably sweet domestic tenderness, this time to music

thank you ma’am for my life

rio remembers beth used to play piano and gets her one and revoltingly cute shenanigans result

also hilarity

and sexiness

this fic has it all, truly

shout out to mick who sees no reason to keep rio’s feelings to himself

good girls tumblr fic - prettylittlementirosa / @hypermania

cheating and reccing a whole series

It’s my list and i can do what i wanna

stop crying about it, it’s four fics and they’re all AMAZING absolutely impossible to pick a fav

truly flawless characterization, next level ability to capture evocative mood, cannot get enough

three’s a crowd: who knew ballroom dancing while dean watches and grinds his teeth could be so sexy

(trick question everything about that premise sounds A++++ and boy howdy does it live up)

feel it on the way home: rio tries to break up with beth, it goes about as well as you’d expect

(thE angSty tenSioN)

i want to play the game: [from the floor] i’m still not ready to talk about it

(rio/turner, missing scene, 10000000% a taste of what went down in that hotel room)

june after dark: pitch perfect annie pov, really really love the take that Annie is the baby whisperer, can’t fully explain why but it feels incredibly right

(ANNIE X NANCY COULD WORK SO WELL YOU GUYS)

#fingers crossed these links are right i did not double check #i like to live on the edge #truly mind boggling amount of fluff on this list i surprised myself on that one #no i will not at any point get my shit together enough to write out thoughtful commentary this is a shit posting blog first last and always #fic recs #gg fic #nbc good girls #i'll come up with a tag for these if i ever do them again #check back 37 years from now #or ~~~~~~march #whatever that means

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psychxpxthy · 3 years ago

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ive been inactive! related venting under the cut, general tws mental illness, bullying, that kinda

a good chunk of the inactivity is bc im going through some shit irl. nothing can really be done abt that, its just gonna take up a lot of my time until it doesnt. im More Or Less about as okay as i ever am, so its no cause for alarm, juuuuust time consuming and tiring

that being said, anothwr big chunk of my not being around stems from having really big issues with the way certain mental illnesses are treated online, lol. ive been online for-fuckin-ever, and the lasstttt... idk, 6-8 years or so? theres been this huge trend towards... i dont really know what to call it

i have severe ptsd. dx'd, medication, therapy, blah blah blah. stems from very serious abuse growing up.

it sucks! its not great.

but the thing is, certain people use the internet's newer tendency to be a little Too Sensitive to...

act like i owe them my life story. my trauma. my triggers.

in my rules, i mentioned that i have some esoteric triggers that i will not name, and that i may block blogs that deal with these things frequently for my own mental health. this is to say, "HELLO. I AM AN ADULT WHO IS HANDLING A SEVERE CASE OF PTSD DUE TO SEVERE TRAUMA. IF I BLOCK YOU, I AM LOOKING OUT FOR MY OWN MENTAL HEALTH, THOUGH YOU HAVE NOT NECESSARILY DONE ANYTHING WRONG."

multiple people (like 4% of follow backs!!!), at this point, have read this and decided to approach me in private messages, telling me that Because They Do Not Know What My Triggers Are I Shouldn't Follow Their Blogs

for. fucks. sake.

heres the thing.

1. you are a stranger on the internet. i do not owe you the most horrendous events in my life in order to view your portrayal of a fictional character.

2. i do not owe ANYONE an explanation of those events. NOT ONE FUCKING PERSON.

3. i literally... outlined my plan for dealing with unexpected triggers in my rules. ill unfollow or block or whatever as i need to. yall read "oh this person has triggers, better demand explanation" and not "oh this person has triggers and will handle them at their discretion"

4. jesus christ do you go up to strangers in a coffee shop and demand to know whether they need a trigger warning to view the graphic on your tshirt???? there are people navigating the world with PTSD LITERALLY ALL AROUND YOU. and very literally ANYTHING can become a trigger if the brain associates it with the abuse/traumatic events they went through.

5. im a fucking adult. in my 20s. im probably older than a good chunk of yall. im probably also younger than a good chunk of yall. but like. fuck dude kids that are abused have to grow up FASTER than the rest of yall. ive had to be an Adult since i was fucking 8 years old. and now, mid 20s, ive got a bunch of people coming up and trying to hold my fucking hand UNWANTED bc theyre WrItInG eDgY tHiNgS oNlInE. its INSULTING. hoooooly shit its insulting i KNOW HOW TO UNFOLLOW SOMEONE IF I NEED TO

6. ive had triggers used against me all my life. god. you might as well be asking me for a copy of my house key and a schedule for when im out of town, like... if i told you my trigger was thomas the fucking tank engine because my shitass abuser played it on loop on tv while beating the hell out of me do you know what happens????? SUDDENLY eeeeeeverything becomes a reference to goddamn thomas the tank engine. "haha oops i just associate it with you and forgot you dont like it. anyway in episode 4..." and i get fucking anons about it. and it spreads to some fucker or another who already decided they wanted to doxx me for some stupid fucking reason and now theyre getting their whole friend group to send shit in. and NOW i have a problem that i CANT filter without making a whole new internet presence lol????? vs just quietly unfollowing someone who ends up posting a shitton of thomas the fucking tank engine memes, where no one knows why i unfollowed or even IF i did.

7. my god. do you people not know that i can close my laptop and walk away from it. i can choose not to be online if a dash topic is setting me off. i can go touch grass for a while and spend time with my lovely partner and our idiot cats. i can play video games. god. i am a fucking adult who can manage my own life

8. god forbid the mentally ill have any privacy also ✨

im not made of paper!!!!!! i might as well be a goddamn nokia brand genetically modified cockroach-water bear hybrid i am literally never going to die and a few letters on the internet arent going to kill me PLEASE stop acting like i owe you my life story!!!!!

#im irritated and not filtering much of it bc god i gotta say how i feel sometimes #ANYWAY theres more than just this but i need to go do smth else w my life #the rest of yall have been fantastic and im looking forward to comin back when i can #[ placeholder ooc tag here ]

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paradox-psyc-hoe-sis · 4 years ago

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Your Energy

Klaus hargreeves x reader, Diego hargreeves x reader (platonic)

Description: You and diego have been friends for a while now, and he finally agrees to you meeting his family. Klaus, in particular, takes a liking to you - but how will they react when they find out you have powers?

Word count: 1.9k

(There's no warnings other than swearing and this tiny tiny tiny moment in the second part that is NOTHING like smut, but I guess it could be implied? Idk, you'll know what I'm on about when you read it)

• Okay.

• You are one of the 43, but Reginald couldn't get you.

• Your power was being able control energy, and that included spiritual energy.

• This meant that you could see people's souls and auras, dead or alive.

• You and Klaus met quite strangely, to say the least. You were one of Diego's close friends, and after years of knowing each other, he finally let you meet his family.

• It was a warm summer's afternoon when you and Diego arrived at the Umbrella Academy. Just as Diego was about to open the main doors, you both heard bellowing screams coming from inside.

• Silently, you both shared a confused glance before proceeding to walk through the doors.

• Standing before you in the main hall was a very large man, who seemed to have somebody on his shoulders. They were seemingly fighting, the larger of the men trying to get the other off his shoulders.

• "Uhh, Diego, does this happen all the time?"

• Before he could answer, the broad shouldered man threw his opponent from his shoulders and directly into you, sending you flying backwards.

• In this case, you'd be able to stop yourself from falling and float in mid air, controlling your gravitational energy. However, this came as such a surprise that you didn't have time to save yourself.

• You were sent back through the open doors, and onto the empty street. The person who had been launched into you laid half on top of you, half next to you.

• Not a second went by before you used your powers to lift the man up in the air. Getting up from the cold pavement, you dusted yourself off.

• "What the fuck is going on?" He asked, in quite a calm tone.

• Diego jogged through the doors, running over to you.

• "I could ask you the same thing." He scolded, standing in front of you. Placing a hand on your shoulder, he asked if you were okay.

• "I'm fine," you responded, "just hurt my back a bit." You looked up at him with a small smile. Carefully, you lowered Diego's brother down until he was back on his two feet.

• You only just realised that your summer dress had ridden up slightly, and you blushed as both Diego and his brother watched you pull it down.

• "Y/n, this is Klaus." Diego muttered under his breath. Smiling, you turned to him and stuck out your hand.

• "It's wonderful to meet you, Klaus. My name's y/n, but you can just call me y/n/n!"

• Instead of shaking your hand, he bent down slightly and placed a chaste kiss on one of your knuckles.

• "It's my pleasure." He replied, a small smirk on his face. Only then did you notice somebody standing behind Klaus; he wore a black hoodie and had his arms crossed, yet wore a bemused expression.

• Instead of introducing yourself to him, you shot a small smile his way. You wanted to wait until you got into the mansion to properly get to know everyone.

• When he saw you smiled at him, he seemed confused, and looked behind him as if to see if anyone else was stood near him. Contently, you turned back to Diego.

• "Can we go inside?" You politely asked, and Diego stuck out his arm for you to hold. "Be my guest."

• Once you, Diego, Klaus and the mysterious man got back into the house, Diego called for everyone to come to the living room.

• Slowly, everyone trickled into the common area, the last being a 13 year old boy. Once Diego noticed the last of his siblings enter the room, he closed the door behind him.

• "Everyone, this is y/n." You smiled, looking at everyone in the room, hearing them all say hello. One by one, they all went around and introduced themselves, until you got back to Klaus.

• "Y/n/n and I have already met." Klaus proudly admitted to group. Next to him, the man wearing the black hoodie spoke. "God, Klaus. Don't act so love sick."

• He looked both irritated yet amused, which made Klaus turn to him and roll his eyes. Laughing, you stuck out your hand.

• "I don't believe I've introduced myself," you replied, "it's lovely to meet you."

• You felt everyone's eyes on you, burning into your skin. The boy in the black hoodie didn't shake your hand, but merely looked at you, a stunned expression plastering his face. Meekly, you took your hand back and fiddled with the hem of your skirt.

• "Who are you talking to?" Allison asked, not really understanding what was happening.

• "Ben." Klaus answered for you, wearing the same shocked expression as everyone else in the room. The only person who wasn't surprised was Diego.

• He perched on the end of a sofa. "Y/n's one of us, but our prick of a father couldn't adopt her." He looked almost proud and nodded towards you, as if to let you carry on.

• "Oh, right." You added. You were talking directly to Allison, but everyone listened intently.

• "Yeah, I can control energy. It's more complex than it seems, really. I can control all main types of energy like light, sound, gravity, the like. But I can also control spiritual and emotional energy. So if I really wanted to, I could change any of your emotions."

• "Spiritual energy..." five repeated. "That makes more sense."

• Now you were the confused one, furrowing your brows. "What do you mean?" You asked five, sitting down on the chair next to you.

• "What I mean," he started, "is that Ben's dead."

• The air lay thick among you all, as you turned to Klaus and Ben.

• "I'm...so sorry." You quietly spoke, avoiding eye contact.

• "Hey, don't worry about it." Ben said at last, smiling at you. "I've grown bored of only being able to talk to this moron."

• "Hey!" Klaus exclaimed as you laughed. Everyone else was silent as you, Klaus and Ben had your own conversation.

• "This is so weird." Luther whispered to Allison, who nodded in agreement.

• "Why don't we all go and get some lunch?" Diego offered, ending the awkwardness between you all.

• "Sounds good to me!" You replied, grabbing your bag. And with that, all of you were making your way out of the living room, off to Dennys.

☆☆☆☆☆

• All 8 of you were sat in a large booth, you sandwiched directly between Klaus and Ben. The waitress came around and took everyone's orders, and once she left, Diego hopped out of his seat at the end of the booth.

• "I'm going to the bathroom, if the food comes before I'm back and any of you even think about eating me fries, I'll cut you." You were very much used to his knife threats, so didn't dare going near his food. As soon as Diego was out of earshot, everyone bombarded you with questions.

• "Are you and Diego dating?" Allison asked, eyes wide. "How did you two meet?" Added Luther. "Where do you live?" Five questioned, kind of creepily. "Are you single?" Inquisioned Klaus, quiet enough that only you heard him.

• "Jesus christ, guys. I live a few blocks away from Diego, which is how we met. I was at target, and was about to get the last bag of doritos, when we both reached for them. Finally, no, Diego and I aren't dating. However we do have lots of sleepovers."

• Happy with how you answered the questions, everyone turned to each other to star their own conversations. You leaned in to klaus, and very quietly whispered in his ear.

• "And yes, I'm single."

• You weren't going to skip around the fact that you found Klaus attractive; his messy hair, dark eyes and cheekbones chiseled by the Gods did something to you.

• Diego returned, sitting back on the end of the booth, just as two waitresses walked over with arms full of plates and cups.

• You only started eating once everyone had gotten their food; you ordered a bowl of fries and a strawberry milkshake, your favourite. The restaurant hummed with chatter as the people around you laughed and quietly spoke to each other.

• "So Vanya, Diego told me you play the violin, right?" She nodded, taking a sip of her cola.

• "Yeah, I play in an orchestra." She added.

• "That's really cool! I played the flute when I was a kid, but now I-"

• As you spoke, you felt a warm hand on your thigh. Klaus's hand was soft, his slender fingers slowly inching their way up your leg, sliding underneath the skirt of your dress.

• "Now I play the drums." You finished, taking a sip of your milkshake. Before you could swallow, you felt Klaus's fingers get dangerously close to your underwear. You choked on your drink, coughing like it would save your life.

• Klaus removed his hand as Luther passed you a red napkin. "Thank you." You uttered, still trying not to cough up your strawberry milkshake.

• "You better get used to this, there's no escape now you've met him." Ben advised, a smug grin lining his face.

• "You can say that again."

☆☆☆☆☆

• Roughly a week had passed since you met Diego's family, and you couldn't stop thinking about it.

• After you all went to dennys, Allison suggested that a game of bowling would be fun. Spoiler alert: Luther broke the mechanism at the back of the bowling alley by bowling the ball too hard.

• You were sat in bed in your apartment, mindlessly scrolling through your phone. Realising it was just past midnight, you turned your light off, switched off your phone, and laid down.

• After a few minutes of trying to get to sleep, you heard the window open behind you, and the sound of someone crawling through it. Not in the mood to deal with an intruder, you used your powers to slam them against your bedroom wall. With your other hand, you turned on your light switch and found Klaus pressed up against your wall.

• "For shits sake, what are you doing?" You asked, letting him go. Ben stood next to him, leaning again the wall.

• "Go on, Klaus. Tell y/n why you've broken into her home at midnight, despite me warning you not to."

• Klaus was silent for a second, his tired eyes staring in to yours. He wore the same outfit from last week, looking like he came straight from the mansion.

• "Uh, y/n, would you like to go out with me?"

• He actually seemed pretty nervous, despite how he had been acting at Denny's.

• "...now?" You asked, looking at the clock.

• "Not now, but maybe tomorrow? Diego told me you have a day off and I was thinking maybe we could..." he took a deep breath, and looked down at the floor. "Maybe this was a bad idea."

• He made his way back to the window, but you managed to convince him to stay.

• "Klaus, of course I'd like to go out with you."

• You spoke in a gently tone, not wanting to startle him.

• "Plus, if you want to, you could sleep over here?" You knew it was a long shot, but it was worth a try.

• "I'll only stay if you give me a makeover!"

• "Deal."

• That night was filled with a lot of sad movies, you painting Klaus's nails bright pink, and Ben rolling his eyes about 400 times.

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it-lives-in-westchester · 4 years ago

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Promises// ILITW fanfic

A/N: A random ILITW one shot based on the whole Noah vandalized houses when he was like 12, because what hell was that about. This is mostly just angst and my speculating how terrible Noah’s mom really is. Also sorry for any grammar errors and such seeing English isn’t my first language.

summary: Noah get's caught after attempting to vandalize a house when he 12, and he has to deal with the consequences idk what else to summarize as it as.

Warnings: Terrible parenting.

Words: Around 2000 words

The woman parked the beat-up car hastily in the driveway, she hit the wheel a few times, yelling out some swear words, before marching out. Knocking the door hard. Mr. Murphy opened his door to greet the woman, but before he was able to say anything she interrupted him.

“Where is he!?” She yelled out to Mr. Murphy. Before Mr. Murphy could say anything the young boy ran up behind him. Murphy looked back noticing that the cocky kid from earlier had turned silent and almost had a fear behind his eyes. It almost seemed like he was trying to hide behind Murphy himself.

“I apologize for bothering you in this hour, but-”

“It’s fine, I was worried about where he was,” The woman said in a defeated voice, she started to open up her wallet. Murphy put up his hand.

“Oh, it’s fine, it was no real damage, I already made a deal with your son, you don’t have to worry about anything,” Mr. Murphy said reassuringly. The woman’s eyes lit up and she sighed out in relief.

“Thank you so much, sir” giving a genuine smile towards Murphy, it was however gone in a matter of milliseconds when she turned her gaze towards the boy, and it almost looked like he shrank in size. She grabbed his arm and dragged him out of the house.

“OW! Not so tight!” He yelled out to her, it didn’t seem like she cared.

“We are talking about this later Noah,” She said while almost throwing him in the car. She turned around towards Murphy again and gave a huge smile before she got in the car herself and started to drive away.

“I come home and you’re not there. I end up looking everywhere for you, I think something terrible must have happened because none of the neighbors saw you, I am about to call the police, I get a phone call from an old man telling me you vandalized his house!? And then you ha-- Are you even listening to me!?”

“Huh?” Noah was looking out of the car window looking at the raindrops falling down. He and Jane would make a game out of it, on which raindrop would fall down first, this game wasn’t so much fun anymore when she wasn’t here to play it with him. He turned to his mom, even though most of her face was hidden behind her reddish-brown hair, Noah could imagine her turned eyebrows and twitching eyes looking straight at him. He started to fiddle with the strap on his hoodie to calm his nerves.

“I am sorry,” He said, he hadn’t noticed how late it had gotten, stupid summer. Stupid school, stupid teachers, stupid friends, stupid Devon, stupid everything.

Noah had been wandering around the place to find something fun to do, his mom wasn’t home and he knew she would not be home for hours. It was a bad day at school, he was just mad at everything and everyone.

Flunked another test, the bread in his lunch had mold on it, someone in the gym lockerroom commented on how thin he was, “you can even count how many ribs he has” he swear someone said. The last straw for him was Devon walking towards him in the hallway, but turning around just as quickly when he started staring at them. He did not want to talk to Devon, but everyone just avoiding him all the time just reminded him what had happened with everyone and Jane. Wandering around with these thoughts and everything else that had happened, he wanted to do something to feel better.

Unfortunately for Mr. Murphy, his house was the first house Noah noticed and wanted to take his anger out on. Unfortunately for Noah, Murphy was actually home and noticed Noah in the middle of the act. Even though Murphy was old and probably could not run fast, Noah knew he could not escape with all the tall fences and Murphy blocking off the only exit.

Not to his surprise, Murphy started to yell at him, however after calming down, he asked why Noah was out this late and on his own.

Maybe noticing how young he was, Noah lied and said he was 14 (he was actually 12), and that he could just walk home himself. Murphy was probably not convinced. Insisting on calling Noah’s parents, he finally gave him and told his mom’s number. While waiting for his mom to pick him up, Murphy talked to him about consequences for his actions and all that jazz. Then Murphy came up with something Noah could do to make up for the attempted vandalism. Which also reminded Noah that he should tell his mom about it.

“Mr. Murphy said...I could..cut down his lawn... to make up for...the damage--”

“Noah when you murmur like that I can’t hear what you are saying and I am trying to concentrate while driving” his mom snapped at him. He shrank in his seat, he could bring this up later, she was really not in the mood. He turned to look at the window, noticing they were driving next to woods which made him turn away just as quickly.

When his mom opened the door to the house he immediately tried to run to his room, but she nabbed his hood and he almost fell backward.

“Not so fast young man, we still have to talk about this,” she said dragging him to the kitchen. Noah noticed the cold overcooked pasta on the table, he sat down and looked at his mom face to face. With the shadows forming on her gaunt face from the mediocre lightbulb and her already bad mood, Noah could feel every hair on his back rising. Looking down at the cold slimy pasta instead of her eyes seemed to be a better option of the two. Noah took the fork next to the pasta, starting to eat it slowly. It did not taste good, but he had not eaten anything since breakfast so better than nothing.

“Do you want to explain yourself?” she said in a cold voice

“I was bored and you weren’t ho--”

“Don’t talk with your mouth full” she snapped at him. He swallowed the disgusting pasta and put the fork aside. Trying his best to look her in the eyes.

“You weren’t home for hours, I was bored. I didn’t mean to stay away from home this late, I am sorry” He explained himself short, he did not want to mention everything else that had happened earlier.

“Murphy seemed to be a nice guy, why would you vandalize his house?” Noah felt a glimt of guilt when she mentioned that. The guy handled the situation rather well and made sure Noah came home safe, which he knew certain other people wouldn’t have cared for. He even had him wait for his mom inside his house instead of the pouring rain and gave him a good lecture about the whole thing.

“Ugh, I was stupid and bored okay. He already talked to me about it and I made a deal to cut his lawn for the next three weekends, it’s fixed now. I am not gonna do it again, promise!” His mom seemed satisfied with that answer, but she still contuniued on her lecture.

“Do you have any idea what I was thinking when I didn’t find you? I was worried sick” Her voice seemed to crack a little.

“Sure you were” he mumbled under his breath sarcastically. He would not be surprised if it had taken her more than an half an hour to realize he was gone.

“What was that?” She uttered out to him. He tried his hardest not to break and poked the food with his fork.

“...Nothing” she dropped the matter rather quickly and he continued to eat his dinner. Maybe she had calmed down. They sat in silence and Noah appreciated every second of it, it was until:

“Jane would never do this to me” Was she serious? She had to bring up Jane now. She had nothing to do with anything. It came out of nowhere.

“Well… she’s gone, so you don’t know that” He immediately regretted that, noticing how his mom’s eyes changed again and he did not mean to sound so mean about Jane. Thinking about it, he wasn’t even sure if it had been directed at him or just something she just said to herself.

“I guess you’re right for once” Please don’t cry, please don’t cry, please do--

“She would have been here if it wasn’t for your friends-”

“But Mom it was Re--”

“AND DON’T MENTION THAT NAME AGAIN!”

She stood up and slammed her hands on the table which made everything on it shake. Noah immediately shut up. He saw that his mom’s eyes were twitching again and her eyes seemed even darker than usual.

“How many times do I have to tell you this!? This “Redfield” or whatever name it was...NOT REAL! Jesus christ Noah you are almost 13 years old and you still blame this on an imaginary friend! The reason your sister is dead is that you and your friends went to a dangerous place you weren’t supposed to go to in the first place. You should have known better, if you did my Jane would have still been here with us”

Noah wanted to say something, wanted to defend himself. It was Jane, Devon and everyone else who liked Redfield and wanted to be friends with that thing, not him. He never liked Redfield, always creeped out by its appearance, voice, and everything else. He had tried telling his mom about Redfield, it was the reason Jane was gone, and he knew people liked the truth. She did not believe him at all and just seemed to get madder and madder each time he tried to bring it up to her.

Maybe it was for the better not to bring “Redfield” up again, it just seemed like each time he did that. It made her furious, yelling at him for what felt like hours, and then he’d hear her sobbing in her room afterward the whole night. He took a long shaky breath.

“....you’re right” he finally said in defeat.

“Of course I am right” She responded walking past him and messing his hair up.

“Go to bed now okay”. Noah dragged himself to his bedroom changing into his sleeping clothes, an old t-shirt his dad used to wear. After brushing his teeth and walking back to his room again he noticed his mom standing next to the kitchen window smoking. She’d usually end hard days like that.

“Good night mom” He called out to her. She turned around almost seemingly giving him a smile. Like the previous convertation did not happen at all.

“Good night,” she said. He turned around to go to his room but stopped when he heard:

“I am sorry Noah, I shouldn’t have said those things to you, I know. But all of this is so hard for me and work is stressing me out, sometimes I just snap. I am trying here, you understand that, right?”

Noah nodded to what she was saying. She gave him a smile

“You know I didn’t really mean those things right? I was just so frustrated and stressed at the moment and it’s not exactly like you are making it easy for me are you?”

Noah gave a nervous chuckle and she started to laugh back. Then she stopped abruptly and Noah tried to take a step back. She put the cigarette away in the ashtray and opened her arms. Noah hesitated for a few seconds before he ran up to her and gave her a hug.

“I am so so so sorry and I promise I will try to do better in the future, promise. I love you so much Noah” She kissed the top of his head.

Even though she had said this a million times before and never kept that promise for more than a week, Noah still thought and hoped that this time she would keep her promise for good to do better, finally, they could act as a family again.

“Love you too mom”

A/N 2 I just want to make it clear that Noah’s mom apologise at the end is BS, because she doesn’t change at all. I am not excusing her actions at all. This is from Noah’s POV and he just wants his mom to love and support him so he’s gonna take it when she says sorry and gives him affection. Also made Mr. Murphy a lot nicer than planned because Noah needed some good happening to him in this depressing short tale :’)

#it lives in the woods #ilitw #choices ilitw #noah marshall #fanfic #my writing #it lives #it lives anthology #sorry if it is ooc #and not good #Took liberties with Noah's mom character because we don't know that much about #her and this is just headcanons

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tylerwritez · 4 years ago

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Tuesday, june 22 2021

I've noticed I'm getting "the shiverys" or "the twitchy" a lot today. Like every time I FEEL something I take a moment to violently tic.... every time I think about certain things I tic.... good things, bad things, things from an hour ago and things from years ago. Tic, tic, tic.

Also, I have... some stuff to explain. Its really no big deal, but you know me: I'll freak out about it anyway. Basically I dissed my friend (rightfully so) around the time that we had just met cos they did something that threw me off.

He saw it in my phone... NOW. it's not RELEVANT anymore and I've since redacted that criticism...and now I gotta explain it to him anwyays. Oh well. I'm good at this stuff. I can get myself outta any situation. I dont even know why I'm talking like this tho... it's not a "Situation" it's just smthn I gotta explain rq.

Oh, today's song recommendation is Spirit Crusher by Death. I'm a huge Death fan...

Also! I gotta study... for my replacement exam. How stressful. Its about photosynthesis, but like, it's not simple. We went DEEP inside those fucking leaves.

One sec, lemme hook up my IV tube

Not an ACTUAL IV tube... just my headphones. But since I'm so #emo, it might as well be a fucking IV tube with the way that I cant live without it.

Its 3:08 and I'm walking home now. I was upset last night but me and Star have made up now lol... it was thAt easy. I'm so defective, making shit hard when it doesnt need to be.

It's so hot out damn. Idk. I had school today, so I had Bio class... I ACTUALLY PAID ATTENTION for once. I had lunch with Star and her friend group, and I honestly kinda feel like they're MY friends now too, even just a little bit.

Actually, I used to rant about feeling lonely like all the time but now I have so many friends it's crazy they all keep inviting me places and it's like people WANT ME AROUND... idk. It makes me happy.

Today I gotta ask if tommroow after school I can go to Bee's house to watch Supernatural (famous homoerotic ghost show)

I should also add songs to Erin's spotify playlist for our picnic saturday which I still need permission to go to.

I gotta ask for Wednesday after school to watch Insidious with Jay which is apparently really good

Also hes the friend that I gotta explain stuff to... the DrAmA... the ThEaTrE....

Update my dad said yes to hanging out with Bee but first I'm gonna miss school to fix my broken brackets on my braces

Also turns out the house I THOUGHT we were moving into has substantial damage from shifting so... we aRENT moving there.

In case you didn't know, shifting is when like the house that's been built literally SHIFTS like it moves around.

Anwyays Jay just texted me... I'm gonna change into shorts since it's hot, set up my study area,.... and respond to him.

The time is 3:22 p.m.

Wish me. Luck.

Luck is plentiful! As it so often is in my risky, risky life.

I play my cards right. It's a learnt skill.

But also there wasnt much to explain since it passed already and was tiny anywyas.

XD so I've made up with the whole goddamn world by now.

Its 6:31, we saw 1 house. Only one. Its kinda hot out but I'm gonna bike now since we just had supper. I finally finished my homework... I just have to finish one mixed media piece as my final project for art!

Friday is my replacement. On photosynthesis and cell resp. We know this. But what I didn't mention, or I dont THINK I did, is that if I finish my art project before then I have the second block FREE!!! Me, Star, and her friend

A are planning to leave for second block and maybe get mint chocolate chip ice cream!

Also I might eat her out XD

Anyways idk. I hope I can bike tonight to call Jay.

I keep accidentally using people's real names here then having to correct it... I dont know how much i care about MY identity being discovered... but to have my friends doxxed would suck.

Man I feel bad abt saying fuck star last night cos we made up....

Wait we r looking at another house? Idk I'm in the car still waiting to go home

Oh wait no now we r goin home

Its 6:39... I hope I still have time.

I went biking, called Jay. Went home. Idk, friendly conversation... we talked more tonight and I also talked to my other friend A. Jay is... I LOVE HIM?? SO MUCH??? I feel so happy. Talking to him thinking about him seeing his STUPID FUCKING FACE JESUS. his eyes alone... I could stare at his face all day probably. I want to kiss him... hOLD HIS HAND... omg... huG HIM!!! Eofjwpxjwie he's so sweet like I can't even... and I'm proabably not good enough for him like. Wtf. Hes easily a 10. And I dont rate things outta 10. How tf do I end up with HIM? Doing stuff, as friends. Like wHAT. I guess I got lucky XD. He says he loves my personality and I'm hot XD ofc I dont see it myself. But like. JESUS CHRIST he could proabably easily pull whOever. XD me?

Whatever though. As long as we r together and stuff. I LOVE HIM A LOT. he said he loved me. Every time he says that it makes me so overly happy.

Maybe I'm just sappy and stuff.... whatever. I think it would be nice to be hugged by him.

Yeah I'm cheesy.

I'm sorta tired now so maybe I'm not writing the best.

I just keep thinkinf about love. Love is a muscle of evil suggestion. But how evil can it really be? I am just a human being and that is all. Everything else is applied. I am just a human being with soemthing in my heart that pulls me all over the place. Love is this strange thing because I'm fucked up and to be able to love without that fucked up part of me, without the damage... is this complicated, hard thing to do and I can NEVER tell if I'm doing it right but I know I'm DOING IT. I know I FEEL LOVE. And soemtimes it's such an intense thing like when you go to surf on a wave at the beach with ur belly but u hit it wrong and it's so big and overwhelming it washes over you and PULLS you down to the bottom and smushes your face into the sand and YOU CANT BREATHE jesus Christ it's like that.

Or maybe I just want to experience love as it should be felt.

Obviously all of my problems surrounding this Damage could be easily fixed if I went to therapy but. there are reasons I can't.

I LOVE a lot. Too much for my own good. Enough to hurt me, get me into trouble, etc etc but also... enough to liberate me. I LOVE. I love Jay. So much. LIKE. MY BRAIN ORBITS AROUND HIM CONSTANTLY THINKING OF HIM AND PRAISING HIM AND MWUAH HE IS SO LOVELY I BOW BEFORE HIM...

I think as much as I love, a lot of the times I tend to focus even more on BEING loved.

If I am told I am loved, and shOwN I am loved... it is one of the most powerful things. Especially since I was literally emotionally neglected in childhood... yeah. I feel like I'm always trying to fill that hole.

Not EVERY feeling I have is for that reaosn but sometimes, if you tell me you love me, show me you love me, hug me,... I'll like start crying,,, that's the childhood emotional neglect kicking in. If you call me #smol and #cute and say I look young and fragile which happens more often than you'd think XD, I know I'm not supposed to like that shit, so I act like I dont....but I do. Which is PROBABLY ALSO THE CEN 🤪 like whatever lol

Anwyays I'm fucked up

You see how quickly things become complicated in my mind?

Convoluted? Is that the word?

Whatever. I OVERCOMPLICATE THINGS COS I OVERTHINK THEM BECAUSE I'm LITERALLY MENTALLY ILL IN SO MANY DIFFERENT WAYS. I'm not joking. I obviously have unresolved undiagnosed "issues"

I do Suspect things, though.

I can make a list

Maybe I shouldn't.

Maybe I will.

I shouldnt.

Whatever.

I used to hate when people brought up my self harm. I would actually panic. I still self harm but now? Now I'm fine with anyone talking about it as long as it's not an adult who can get me into trouble/force me into therapy over it. Because really? I kinda like having it mentioned. It's kinda validating and it's like hey... people can see that I'm sick.

I dont do it so people talk to me about it though. Dont get me wrong. If I did, I'd go vertically on the arms, not for suicide but so it healed and people would ask XD.

My scars are actually VERY hidden... cos I never intended for ANYONE to see. But for those who DO see them,,,, it's nice soemtimes to have people express concern.

I dont wanna be PITIED or anything, but idk I just think to myself "wow, they're CONCERNED... about ME... they arent angry or mean... they didnt yell at me or threaten me... they respect my autonomy and privacy...

And they CARE ABOUT ME..." and it makes me cry.

That's also the CEN.

I dont know. I just like when people express genuine concern. Even if they see and then just ask if I'm okay. That's all it takes cos then I go wow.

Its validating and irs lovely because finally people care... FINALLY PEOPLE CARE. FINALLY I GET SOME EMPATHY OR SYMPATHY AND NO ANGER.

Even just having them brought up tells me its noticeable enough

My brain does this thing where it thinks nothing bad that's ever happened to me was Bad Enough for me to be upset about.

And I dont know... its nice sometimes to be told shit like "omg that looks so bad" or to see that people who do see my cuts are somewhat shocked or revolted... it's nice because I go... "hey, it was bad enough for them..."

Or to have people comment on them with concern. Just ANYTHINT WHERE PEOPLE NOTICE IT AND ARENT ASSHOLES ABOUT IT IS VALIDATING.

Because I'm not used to that...

Because CEN

I'm. The worst perosn on the fucking planet.

I should kill myself.

I suddenly actually feel so self hating I do want to kill myself... oh god.

I ruin everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. What have I done. Like. Why. Oh god.

I'm just remembering when Star said my kindness seemed like an act. And how I've been called out for seeming fake like 2 other times.

DO I SEEM FAKE???? I DONT EVER PUT ON ACTS OF KINDESS.... CONCIOUSLY? but the very idea that I could be perceived that way...

Should I like not try to be nice or some shit?

Jesus christ she hurts my feelings even now when it was a long time ago.

But I cant blame her. I can't blame anyone for how i feel except my parents because they left me with fucking. Heart nerve damage or some shit.

I'm tired and now I'm sad too. Goodnight guys.

#JudeJournals

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macklives · 5 years ago

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hey so this is gonna be a long-ish one. ive decided its been far too long since i did a session, and we did so many i can often forget what happened. i started in july and im pretty sure its been more than half a year now since this whole blog happened. and in that time, we’ve gone through 88 sessions and i want to know if i remember the relevant plot points and what we got up to in the last few sessions. a refresh/reminder if you would.

so i hereby commence my own little recap of act 5 because yeah no, its too much to do a recap of everything and i have andrew for that after every few acts. but i wanna refresh my mind on act 5 for now. so here we go.

1. alternia.. fucked up place. but its a place the trolls live on so what are we gonna do about it? overthrow the government? seems about right, lets do that with the next troll that gets introduced and if its not kanaya idk what andrew is doing by not having introduced the best troll yet. why the long wait? it was the second introduced? i honestly expected it to go in order when i first read act 5, because first we had karkat talk to jade which was the first new piece dialogue in the comic besides the main kids, but then we had kanaya with rose, which was followed by tavros, then terezi (iirc). so id assume we were following that order but nope karkat got fully introduced, then this random fucking juggalo called gamzee made its way into the comic. imagine my surprise.

2. theres been terminology throughout act 5, that i do not fucking know and will not remember and probably never will. like tf is a perigee again? i made a doc somewhere ill probably find it.

3. karkat’s introduction... short but very sweet. and by sweet i mean we got to know the depths of the angry edge lord. and by depths i mean karkat got angry at gamzee for typing in a way that he didnt like so he yapped like a chihuahua. nah, but seriously, i do like karkat tho, hes growing on me but only bc hes a bitch baby and his whole personality makes me want to mock him so thats the reason im not that annoyed and think hes funny, and the most harmless troll. even more so than tavros. and thats saying something. 7.5/10 bc im generous.

4. then gamzee... the high juggalo troll who has the worst typing quirk imo, i cannot for the life of me read it. but hes chill, i actually really like gamzee. hes funny and the least problematic as of right now. 8.5/10.

5. terezi’s introduction next i think. she likes playing as a lawyer with her stuffed dragons, ie by roleplay, shes blind, can see through licking, and she likes eating chalk, maybe its even nutritious. shes good. 9/10.

6. uhh in the process of these intros, there are teams being made? karkat joins gamzee and terezi in, i THINK, the red team?? bc terezi likes red?? could be wrong, i dont remember the teams except that its red/blue to represent sollux’s duality in those colors. terezi then tries recruiting AC but AC is like lol sorry i have to ask this friend of mine who has authority over me for some goddamn reason and terezi goes yuck tf i hate that guy................... yeah thats all we have on the teams. pretty sure sollux had smth to do with karkat about the making of the leaders, and they did the “i hate me” and the “no i hate me more than u hate u” or whatever the fuck that was. they got embarrassed afterwards and deleted their messages. im pretty sure they have no messages because everything ends up being mutually deleted so their logs are actually empty. ngl, kinda enjoyed their convos, made me appreciate their characters. i hope we get more because its good content. i also dont know what order this whole thing is in, who contacted who first? couldnt tell you. ill remember later on. and since im basing this off from memory alone, gotta deal with what i remember. uhhhh so yeah. we havent met all characters yet so the teams have not been officially decided but we got the bases, which is that.

7. god i found it, and the only thing im looking at right now is the terminology list i made and what the fuck?? what the fuck?? you miss a few weeks and suddenly the word nubslurping comes up and you forget what the fuck youre reading.

8. im PRETTY SURE aradia is seen after that whole team fiasco?? or its sollux... maybe. wait. its sollux, right. i just knew someone gets introduced mid way through is all. actually, someone gets introduced after every 20 pages. i have no idea. but ik aradia and sollux go hand in hand.

9. oh shit. OH SHIT! RIGHT! I REMEMBER! so this occurs in the latest session i did, and not the beginning of act 5, but AG and aradia team up, right?? and sollux fucking gets manipulated by them and ??? idk??? they make him find the game, reprogram it and then make him believe its going to end the world (which in hindsight is true, but anyways) so he refuses to play it which was AG’s plan all along so she steps up and becomes leader in his place. but aradia says sollux will still play the game no matter what, but she never went through with the plan for AG but it was apart of a prophecy? that sollux wouldnt be the leader at all? that he’d still play? but it had to go according to plan so it could succeed??? we just dont know why yet. anyways, point being, she still cares for sollux since she did it for him rather than for AG. and thats what i recall. god tf i forgot about that whole drama until writing down “sollux and aradia go hand in hand” which gave me violent flashbacks to the memory.

10. oh and id give aradia 9/10 and sollux 7/10. i do like sollux but if i put him higher than karkat, id get crucified. so im keeping them around the same.

11. man i really like sollux and aradia tho, i may have put him at 7, but i really like their dynamic and i really hope they make up and aradia explains herself about AG. because from one side it looks shitty. and while sollux is rude and never makes up his mind, he apologized to aradia after going off, and that was the only time ive seen him be sincere, so im pretty sure he cares for her to some extent. and i think its somewhat mutual? considering the whole “did it for him” thing. man, i see potential because i actually like both their characters. theyre well written. may not have the best personalities, but i appreciate well written characters and homestuck has the best ones ive seen in a while.

12. oh shit, hell yeah, the more i write, the more im connecting the dots and remembering. however, the more i write, the more i want to just make an analogy post but thats not for now. jesus christ its not all about analogies, mack, this is a recap. but.. how does andrew do it? to not go off track??? hard. telling ya.

13. anyways, didnt we break the fourth wall at some point and have the demon gods or whatever the fuck speak to us in third person for the first time in the comic, after having only gone into second person narrative, right after we were introduced to sollux and his “virus”? the uh, the phrase “the demon was already here” was said, or something along those lines. first line in homestuck to give me the creeps ngl and i appreciate it bc it gives me motivation to know what the fuck its about. its cool bc you have no idea where its going and it sure doesnt have anything to do with the current plot, since the trolls’ session/game doesnt have fucking demons so im curious as to what the fuck that was about. and if i really have to make a theory, i feel it has something to do with aradia’s voices in her head which also connect to the gods rose heard when she started disregarding rules and told dave to look at derse without listening to music bc it was as if he was purposely blocking away their calls. like holy shit, that gave me the shivers. while i do want to know more about wtf happens after act 4, trolls are taking priority right now. just like we did with the intermission. no discussing the kids unless necessary. treat this as its own separate comic. and THEN we can connect.

14. ANYWAYS, tavros’ intro???? that comes afterwards?? with the fiduspawn that made me gag a little on the inside? yep. remember that. fuck that lol. -1/10 but tavros himself is MAYBE a 6/10? i wish we explored his character more in his intro bc right now he just looks like a character made only to be a victim rather than have any depth and i feel thats robbing someone of their full potential. give me more personality andrew, rather than a quivering boy who falls prey to bitches. im expecting more throughout the comic honestly and i hope he gets growth so hes not looked as a “victim” but rather his own character. he is still sweet, and i like him because i want to protect him, but id rather have more info, you know what i mean?

15. oh hell. kanaya had a chainsaw at some point. that made me happy. and didnt she cut off tavros’ legs?? and he got robot ones? and some creepy dude was looking and we called him saggy tits bc hes sagittarius? right? neat. that did happen. pretty sure saggy tits is ACs friend that tells her what to do. the more u know. OH and they all have colored blood similar to their text colors lol. that i remember... so tavros has brown, terezi has blueish green, um. karkat has grey the loser. and apparently it forms a rainbow which is nice. rainbow is good.

16. i dont remember anything else actually

17. wait no i do. AG appeared. shes a petty bully. idk what to say about her. we didnt get that much, except that she hates tavros but is okay with aradia. she also looks like a bottle opener. actually, i think she teamed with aradia to gain leadership rather than to “be friends”. and while that is similar to how karkat did it, meaning the gain, the motivation and how they earned it is entirely different. kinda seeing a trend tho. the leaders of the red/blue teams are both characters who wanted the role, but never had it to begin with. only to win their way into the position. but rather than ask non-stop like karkat did, AG manipulated others so she could be successful. not too sure if she also used aradia for that, or is actually motivated to become friends since they were “past enemies” and she needed a rebound. pretty sure its somewhat both. while AG did mostly use aradia to speak with sollux, what she doesnt know is that aradia is a bad bitch who never even thought about AG and only followed through with the plan bc she had a plan of her own. i guess we’ll look into that later. i lowkey want to know their history.

18. OH AC!!! she appeared for a second as well. love her. shes amazing. 9.5/10. and you may ask yourself, why am i saying “i love this character” but none of them are 10/10?? weellllll its because, and i cant stress this enough, 10/10 belongs to kanaya, i dont make the rules. im waiting for her introduction, shes my favorite and its obvious. sorry.

19. oh huh seems i forgot about the term “lusus”. which.. is.. their parents but not really, its these fucking weird ass creatures that the trolls fought in a cave or something as a child. i dont fucking know. terezi hatched hers and it died? gamzee’s also died but his goat sea dad was never really there to begin with so while it is sad, its more sad that gamzee never saw him? um.. karkat killed his own by exploding his computer bc sollux said dont run the virus and karkat said u cant tell me what to do and did it anyways. so thats on him. but apparently theyre supposed to die, to become prototyped during the game, right? yeah. i remember now.

20. thats.. about it? idk anything else, nothing is coming back to me apart from the shit above. huh.... im surprised how quickly things do come back to you the moment you rant about the plot tho.... handy trick.

cool. neat. fun. this took me too long. but im glad i remember a little bit.

#i wanted to catch u all up on this #but ill most likely do a liveblog tmr bc i was bust today unfortunately apart from writing this out #bc this took priority for better understanding where i am rn #maaaannnn #writing wears me out #i love it #but its tiring the fucking bitch #so im in need for deep sleep #wish i could do more smh #welll #goodnight :)

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trophywifejimgordon · 4 years ago

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okay so, oswald’s stupid aliases meta? oswald’s stupid aliases meta.

after returning to gotham in 1x3, oswald fairly quickly takes on a few false titles, first when confronted by a fish mooney lackey in an alley who recognizes him as the ex umbrella boy (in a panic, he tells the man that he must be confused, his name is dmitri... yeah, no), then when trying to endear himself to don maroni (trying to claim italian heritage, he calls himself paolo), and finally, in 1x4, when introducing himself to barbara (”i’m peter. peter... humboldt.”).

so.

of these, and i’m separating the last one into two parts, i pretty much have the least to say about dmitri. while oswald has some time off screen to think about the other names, the confrontation with the mook forces him to come up with that one on the spot, so imo it’s the least likely to have heavy significance; likely he just chose it because it’s a very slavic name to fit the very slavic accent he’s not fooling anyone with. if i were really pressed about it, i might point out that dmitri is derived from demeter, the greek goddess of the harvest (among other things). demeter is responsible for the growth of the crops, but also presides over the cycle of life and death and the sacred law; one of her titles is “law-bringer,” referring to the idea that idea that law and order formed in agricultural society. the interaction oswald has here with this mook is notable in that--before he kills the guy--oswald insists that “gotham needs him! [he is] its future!” oswald aligning himself, consciously or not, with being responsible for gotham’s fertility, its health, and most of all its structure, would not be out of character for him, and is in fact directly supported by his interactions with the man to whom he gives the fake name.

but that’s all pretty tenuous.

next up, paolo! this one, i had fun with. see, i had a somewhat classical education. i read the inferno. that being so, my immediate connection with the name paolo (and, indeed, the only major literary connection i could find) was to the story of paolo malatesta and francesca da rimini. they’re condemned to the second circle of hell for their lust, yadda yadda, whatever. i’m mostly just concerned with the man himself; one source (from the owlcation page on paolo and francesca) describes him as “a romantic sort, a man not really interested in the world around him.” (emphasis mine.) which is fun, because guess what oswald’s doing at the time that he gives this name? he’s almost just been hired as a dishwasher at bamonte’s, maroni’s favorite restaurant. given the job, he’s warned that he hears nothing, sees nothing, says nothing. in all likelihood, oswald gives maroni this name mainly for its obvious italian origin, attempting (successfully) to endear himself to the obviously italian don by claiming “his mother’s” italian ancestry. however, there are a lot of italian names he could have chosen from. i don’t see why his choice of this one couldn’t also be a subtle way of reaffirming that he’s following the rules set out for him. paolo malatesta’s wikipedia page (and like, wikipedia as a source, i know, i know, but) takes this a little further, recounting that paolo is traditionally portrayed as a man “not very inclined to aspirations for power.” very NOT oswald, obviously. at the same time, very appropriate for his meek act as he slowly endears himself to maroni. even spicier, though, is this: “recent investigations, however, reveal [paolo] as a young man very attentive to politics and immersed in the political intrigue of the time.” so, could this mean that his fake name is not only a reaffirmation of his lowly position, but also a very, very veiled hint that he’s more than he seems? it would feel appropriate, in this case, that the traditional interpretation of malatesta is the one that oswald is banking on to facilitate his squirm into maroni’s inner circle, while the contemporary reading is the one he actually identifies with. that’s oswald all over; in touch with the old ways, yet in a class all his own.

a little less dramatically, paolo, like the anglicized “paul,” has roots meaning “small” or “humble.” so, in more ways than one, the name can be seen as oswald bending at the knee to maroni’s apparent superiority... and beginning to bide his time.

now, peter humboldt.

you know, i really never did like this name? i’ve watched 1x4 at least six or seven times, and it always kind of made me go :/ when he offered it, because it’s just kind of... ugly, i guess. i have to say though (while i still think it’s ugly on sound alone), i’m fully obsessed with it now.

like i said, i’m breaking this down into two parts. my analysis of the “peter” half, as with my analysis of “dmitri,” is a little more tenuous, just because it’s a fairly plain, common name. however, the low hanging fruit is the apostle peter, and never let it be said that i don’t take the low hanging fruit. so... peter. on the surface, oswald doesn’t have a whole lot in common with the story of peter the apostle, and that kind of threw a wrench in my analysis for a while. being inclined to fit that particular square block into this particular round hole, though, i got there. don’t worry, y’all. my penchant for bullshit knows no bounds.

first thing’s first, it bears note that “peter” was an alias of sorts for the apostle, too, since his given name was simon/simeon. he was jesus’s first disciple, and went from that to eventually heading up the church after the crucifixion and all following, becoming the “first pope.” such an ascension is a little reminiscent of oswald’s from umbrella boy to the head of the gotham underworld, i guess. and that’s cool. But We Can Go Deeper. i think it’s always kind of useful to keep in mind who the alias is for at the time; who oswald is trying to fool. in this case, the recipient of his bullshit is barbara kean, with an audience of an already in-the-know jim gordon. before his ascension, and furthermore, before either of them joined with christ, peter was already affiliated with a few other disciples: andrew (his brother), john, and james. (neither here nor there, but st. james was the first of the disciples to be martyred. jim...) peter and james--and the others, but i’m talking about peter and james--worked together; they were fishermen. in light of his audience, i think that it’s not entirely inconceivable that oswald is affirming his pre-ascent connection to james gordon (who he does exclusively refer to as james for the duration of the scene, rather than the ‘jim’ we get a lot more later on). not to mention, you know, the whole nautical theme. it’s not a particularly inspired link, but it does kind of work for him. additionally, while i still admit this is not the strongest meta i’ve ever written, oz choosing this name for these reasons would pair nicely with a running theme later in the season (that gets more or less dropped off by season 2, disappointingly), wherein oswald is repeatedly implied to have at least a tenuous christian background and some possible lingering expression of faith... think about the season finale, when falcone tells him he’ll burn in hell and oswald is momentarily taken aback, admitting, “i do worry about that.”

(while i’m on this particular bullshit, one other thing that peter is known for is denying jesus three times after his death, but ultimately being forgiven and heading jesus’s church anyway. because i am a lover of Increasingly Tenuous Connections, i kind of see this as foreshadowing of the twist in 1x7. oswald’s protests to fish in the pilot that he would never betray her are reminiscent of peter’s insistence that even if every other disciple renounced jesus, he would not. naturally, he did betray her, and implicitly falcone through her. he continues renouncing his falcone ties, first by secretly joining maroni and then by openly joining maroni and threatening to spark a gang war... but at the end of it all, we learn that his “loyalties” (such as they are) never actually changed--he’s still falcone’s man. just. idk. idk. i’m Thinking About It.)

aaaaand, finally, humboldt.

so :)

this is the part that i honestly wrote this whole thing to explore. because the thing is? i looooooove that he chose the name humboldt, now that i feel like i know why he chose it. i still think it sounds like a stupid name, but the subtext? the implications? UGH!

right off the bat, my first impression was just that it sounds like the word “humble,” which goes back to the thing with paolo. neat enough. but, this name isn’t given to don maroni--it’s given to barbara. and remember, that’s important. so, what does humboldt mean, other than that? well, the one person with that name famous enough to bear mentioning is apparently alexander von humboldt. i’m certain that the name is, one way or another, a reference to him... and i’ll get to why in a second. he was a prussian (so, eastern european--check) polymath, as well as a naturalist, romantic philosopher, explorer, etc, and raised mainly by a single mother to boot. not all of his hats are directly related to oswald’s interests and skillsets, i’ll grant you, but the fact that he was a naturalist does have direct implications for why i think oswald choosing this name was a deliberate reference to this person by the writers of the show, because see, the thing is, there were quite a few animals named after him... including Spheniscus humboldti.

the humboldt penguin.

given that it’s gotham, i do have to acknowledge the possibility (probability) that that’s as deep as it goes. the writers were looking for a clever way to slip another penguin reference in there (they’re not. exactly. subtle, especially in season one, with the way that the characters are going to turn out), they looked up breeds of penguins, found this one, that’s it. but, on the other hand, there are other breeds of penguins that they could have chosen, and they chose this one. whether it was deliberate or only an accident, the decision was made, and i am running with it.

because, like, another fun thing about humboldt: he was gay.

(side note 2: you know tfw you’re on someone’s wikipedia page and there’s a ton of information about them and their life and their contributions to science but you’re like outta my way i ONLY want to know this man’s sexuality? ah, the personal life tab. where would we be without you.)

well, it’s one of those situations where you have to decide if you’re going to try to ascribe modern sexuality labels to historical figures, and at the end of the day, i won’t really get into it. however, though there is some scholarly discourse that cites him as a largely asexual figure (and while i’m definitely not getting into it and do not intend this as an attack on the asexual community in any way, i have to say an obviously gay man being desexualized to make him more palatable feels... familiar), the facts seem undeniable that he experienced same-sex attraction, whether or not you want to define this as exclusive. it is speculated that he had notable affairs with or at least vehement attraction toward wilhelm gabriel wegener, reinhardt von haeften, françois arago, and possibly his valet seifret, among others. maybe gotham writers didn’t intend for this little throwaway alias to be read as an announcement of oswald’s sexuality (although, even if “humboldt” wasn’t, the exchange he has with barbara--“i never get to meet any of jim’s friends, because he doesn’t tell me anything” “men.” “don’t i know!”--sure was... something), but as i am not a coward, i am perfectly content to read it as one anyway. and don’t forget what i said--this is the alias he gives to barbara. barbara, about whom he knows a possibly suspicious amount, given that she’s almost irrelevant to his political schemes. barbara, whose apartment he went to for jim gordon. barbara, who is, perhaps, his perceived romantic rival.

look, it’s probably just a name and a penguin joke. but what’s the point of metatextual analysis if you can’t be like “he showed up and told barb his name was peter humboldt because he wanted to affirm that his origins are tied to saint jim’s and let it be known that the two of them are in competition for jim’s attention all in the most dramatic way possible and while smugly congratulating himself on being so clever and subtle”?? this isn’t really a threat--in contrast to how creepy he is with women he is threatening, namely fish and liza, oswald is downright courteous to barbara--so much as it is an indulgent expression of petty jealousy. i think he wants jim but perhaps doesn’t even realize the extent or in which way yet; he just wants barbara to know, on some level, that she’s sharing, and jim to know (because jim is just as much an audience to his performance here, and he knows that the alias is fake, might be driven to consider, with that detective brain of his, why he chose what he chose...), on some level, that they’re tied.

oof. ok. that was a lot, but one last thing. since i’m already indulging in gratuitous oswald parallels with humboldt anyway, i might as well point out this line from a letter he wrote to reinhardt von haeften, after von haeften’s engagement to a woman: “Even if you must refuse me, treat me coldly with disdain, I should still want to be with you... the love I have for you is not just friendship or brotherly love, it is veneration.”

i’m on my bullshit, but... you can hear it in his voice, right?

#gotham #oswald cobblepot #meta #text post #.....#gobblepot #look. look. the fact that dissecting gotham like this is inherently futile vs. I Want It To Be That Deep Dot Jpeg #i was writing my notes on 1x3 and 1x4 of gotham last night #and on a lark #a laugh #i went down a rabbit hole of 'hey i wonder if that name was supposed to mean anything'#TURNS OUT!!!!!#i could have done this in a 'in this essay i will' format but that would rob me of the opportunity to actually go ham #which is obviously unacceptable. given the circumstances.

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