#i had the best run ever last night and I'll probably never top it

[wileys-russo]

the royal box II l.williamson

i think this is genuinely up there with one of my favourite fics i've ever written the royal box II l.williamson

"i'd love to do lunch! i should probably find my seat soon but maybe next week? i'll get my agent to text me my calendar." you smiled, kissing the girls cheek and clinking your drink against hers in goodbye as you turned back to the bar.

not having seen her since you'd walked your first runway years ago it never ceased to amaze you how small the world could seem at these type of events, truly never knowing who you'd run into next, most of them a pleasant surprise.

"shame they let anybody in here now, for a royal box it’s really going downhill." but that voice, that raspy tone and infuriatingly attractive accent, that voice was not a pleasant surprise, in fact it was anything but.

"leah." you didn't even need to turn to look at her as she appeared beside you, nursing a drink of her own as the pair of you watched the pre set warm ups commence on the court below, stood together at a large crystal clear double paneled window right by the bar.

"well it can't be that royal of a box if you're here. unless they invited you because you're a royal pain in the ass?" you met her gaze with a fake smile, sipping at your drink as she puffed air from her nose.

"well you never seemed to complain when i was touching your ass darling." she quipped back smugly as you finished your drink with a fake chuckle, reaching over to place the empty glass on the bar top.

you hadn't seen her in months and yet it felt like only yesterday those same bright eyes had been locked with yours, often at any and all hours of the night and rarely ever stone cold sober as you'd roll around in bed together.

but swallowing the past you plastered a polite smile on your face and turned back to her. “lovely of your dad to let you borrow his suit, though it could have been tailored a little better-” you gently knocked your foot against hers, heel dragging up the edge of her pants that indeed were a centimeter or two too long to reveal her ankles.

"-then again, might be best to hide those shoes. did you loan those from your grandad?" you grimaced, leah kicking your foot away with a scowl, necking the last of her own drink.

“well speaking of hiding what a lovely change for you to put on a dress that isn't two sizes too small and soaked in cheap tequila and regret." the blonde smiled charmingly reaching over your shoulder to put her empty glass down next to yours, gesturing to the bartender that she'd like another.

"then again i know thats all about easy access for you, isn't it?" leah smirked as your eyes narrowed but still the fake smile remained on your lips.

“i seem to remember you never minded. less material to rip off and toss on your floor first, then throw at my face once we were done and you wanted me to leave, right?” you retorted back, not missing the way her eyes dipped up and down to check you out.

“do I have a glow about me? i’ve just been getting so much more beauty sleep without the needy calls at three in the morning.” leah questioned, patting her cheeks gently with a smug glint in her eyes as you laughed politely.

“no i was actually going to suggest you try a new eye cream, anti aging maybe? and these frown lines…yikes. then there’s those angry little eyebrows-” your finger wiggled around in front of her face pointing things out, lips curling upward at the way the smug humor was promptly wiped from her features.

“at least my eyebrows are real.” leah was quick to bite, jaw muscles visibly clenching as you chuckled, not at all ashamed of the fact you got yours tattooed, something leah used to find endlessly fascinating.

“well in my defense i have had a lot of practice faking things, haven't i?” you grinned watching her jaw tense even more, knowing exactly which kinks in her armor to poke at to get a reaction even after all this time had passed.

"please. i know you miss me!" leah's eyes rolled cockily as you laughed sarcastically. “aw is that what you have to tell yourself to feel better? baby I haven’t missed you at all.” you promised as her eyes now rolled.

“yeah you wish, i’ve missed you even less.”

“did dad do your tie for you as well or have we learned how to do it ourselves by now?” you pouted mockingly, reaching over and tightening the knot of her tie as she pushed your hands away and quickly tugged it back looser again.

“booked any genuine campaigns yet or is mummy still flashing the nepotism card to get you on the runway?” leah pouted right back as you scoffed and she grinned, also knowing exactly where to poke at you to get what she wanted.

“please like you don’t stalk my socials, i see you watching my stories.” you snickered, eyes drifting away from her and back down to the court where things seemed to be about to start.

“you think about me so much you feel the need to check? do you post things hoping i'll see them? aw baby girl that’s so sweet of you.” leah cooed pinching your cheek as you smacked her hand off you with a glare.

“don’t call me that.” you warned, hating the glee which filled her face at your obvious discontent, cursing yourself internally for allowing her to see as much.

“oh i'm sorry, struck a nerve did i? good girl, is that better?” leah leaned in closer to whisper, lips grazing your ear as she grabbed a fresh drink from the bar and retracted, the hair on the back of your neck standing to attention.

you kept quiet at that, turning away from her and ordering a new drink of your own with a polite smile, still feeling her eyes on your back as she made no move to leave.

"surely there's some doe eyed idiot with a complex for athletes that you can go swoon with the stories of you kicking things to boost your microsized ego?" you rolled your eyes hearing her chuckle and move to lean against the bar right beside you again.

"footballs. kicking footballs, never could learn the rules or the lingo could you? or maybe you just pretend not to know so i'll explain to you over and over and over, always giving you the attention you want so badly." leahs finger swiped at your nose as you gave her a hard look and shoved at her shoulder.

"speaking of idiots, will that wet mop with teeth and a combover you call a boyfriend be joining us?” leah questioned, spinning around so her back leant against the bar top and her eyes scanned the room, everyone slowly filing out to find their seats.

"you really have been keeping tabs." you glanced up at her with a small smirk as she chose not to acknowledge your statement.

��but no he’s probably off partying in magaluf or ibiza spreading some sort of sexually transmitted disease, waving his little dick around and shoving it into everything that moves.” you rolled your eyes with disdain at the mention of your anything but loyal ex, the boy having slept with more women just while he was with you than you think you had your entire lifetime.

"ahh i see, ex boyfriend then. did he catch the sti from you? or was it one pregnancy scare too many that pushed the unwilling father to be away.” leah smirked though she felt you stiffen beside her and suddenly alarm bells went off in her head that maybe she'd taken things just a step too far.

"fuck you leah." you didn't even hang around to wait for your drink, giving the taller girl one final venomous look which made her stomach drop before you were storming off away from her to find your seat.

it had happened when you least expected it.

you'd not seen leah for a couple of weeks as she was on camp for england, but nothing about your hook ups regular or scheduled and certainly not monogamous you'd busied yourself seeing other people.

this night in particular it had been a rather handsome male model you'd been on a shoot with, accepting his offer of dinner and drinks once you'd wrapped for the day, raised never to say no to a free meal or a hot date.

one thing lead to another and later that night you found yourself in a club packed with blurred faceless bodies, surrounded by strangers and drowning yourself in shots to the point you didn't even remember leaving and going home with him.

there was however one thing that was burned into your mind, the biggest regret of your life as the condom had broke while the two of you were going at it.

normally you were always careful and you'd never be this stupid but the boy dismissing it himself you'd been far too drunk to disagree as he made no move to pull out.

not even getting to have a release yourself it had been a gloriously underwhelming seven minutes before he was satisfied and then suddenly too tired to return the favor.

again with potentially more cheap vodka in your system than blood you'd passed out beside him, spending the night in his bed and waking up hours later with a pounding headache and a deep rooted shame as you sat up and slivers of last night flickered through your mind.

grabbing your clothes you quickly dressed and fled his house, no idea where you were as you sat on his front steps and bounced your knee, the shame spreading through your body quickly morphing into anxiety as your fight or flight kicked in.

knowing there was one person who would answer this time of morning you clicked call, phone held to your ear and skin crawling with disgust as you prayed she would come through.

sure enough after only a few rings the dial tone clicked and you heard a yawn. "this is unusually early for a hook up even for you, what you need and miss me this badly?" the teasing tone and snicker died in her mouth hearing how you spoke her name.

"leah." you could barely get it out without crying, covering your mouth as reality set in and the blonde on the other end sat up in her bed, rubbing her eyes and trying to wake herself up properly.

"whats happened? whats wrong?" the concern in her voice was lost on you as you took a shaky breath. "can you come pick me up please? i don't know where i am but i can send you my location." you asked quietly, leah already out of bed and rummaging around for her car keys.

"yeah send it now, i'll be there soon."

you'd moved away from his house lingering on the curb out front when you heard her pull up, standing to your feet and hurrying to her car just wanting to get as far away from here as possible.

leah had intended to get out of the car to check on you but you were already up and opening the passenger door, sliding into her car and avoiding her gaze as you buckled yourself in.

"you alright?" leah asked cautiously voice thick with sleep, taking in your disheveled appearance and oddly quiet manner with a frown. "i'm fine." you muttered quietly, fiddling with your hands in your lap as you stared down at the floor.

"did something happen?" leah asked carefully though you knew what she meant, a gentle nudge to your side having her offering you a bottle of water she'd quickly grabbed from her fridge as she flew out the door.

"can you take me to a pharmacy please? there's one open about ten minutes from here." you asked after accepting the water with a quiet thank you, leah hesitating for a moment which you felt.

"leah, please." you finally looked up and met her gaze, silence filling the car as the blondes eyes raked over you. "actually don't worry i should have just called an uber or something i'm sorry." you shook your head, moving to unclip your seatbelt as leahs hand shot to grab yours.

"no, please i really don't want you in an uber by yourself right now. put the address in and i'll take you." leah promised softly, squeezing your hand and waiting until you nodded to let go, starting the car back up as you typed the address into her gps system.

there wasn't another word exchanged between the pair of you, leah focused on the road and your own gaze trained out the window, occasionally taking small sips of the cold bottle of water clenched in your hand.

"you don't need to come in, i can find my way home from here." you unclipped yourself as leah pulled up outside the small block of shops where the twenty four seven pharmacy was.

"thank you leah." you spoke sincerely and softly, leaning across the console to kiss her cheek, slipping out of the car before the blonde could even get a word out.

she sat there stumped for a second watching your figure disappear into the pharmacy, shaking her head and hurrying to unclip her own belt, turning off the car and hurrying in after you.

"leah what-" you looked up in surprise as she appeared beside you, crinkle of confusion in your eyebrows as the blonde opened and closed her mouth a few times.

"sunglasses! i need sunglasses and...pads?" she floundered around for an excuse, grabbing a pair of shades off the rack in front of you and slipping them on with an awkward smile.

you couldn't help but chuckle, seeing what she was doing but appreciating it none the less. "thank you." you smiled, leah nodding and darting off to grab the pads she had no intention of using as you waited for the pharmacist.

"what can i get for you love?" the older woman eventually appeared in front of you as you shifted uncomfortably. "can i get the morning after pill please?" you asked quietly, not missing the judgement that flashed across her face though it was gone as soon as it appeared.

you jumped at a loud clatter behind you glancing over your shoulder to see a flustered looking leah scrambling to clean up the pile of baby formula tins she'd just knocked over, sunglasses still covering her eyes.

"sorry! sorry! i just...i got this." leah motioned to the tins, cheeks flushed bright red in embarrassment as you bit the inside of your own cheek to hide a smile, hearing the pharmacist sigh.

"is this pill for yourself or someone else?" the woman asked in a monotone, kindness drained from her voice as the same cocktail of shame, anxiety and disgust leapt into your mouth like bile.

"myself."

"have you considered all of your options?" the woman asked again as you frowned with confusion. "my options?" you questioned as again the woman sighed as if you were doing her a grave disservice.

"your options. have you taken a test? seen a doctor? do you know if you are actually pregnant?" the woman raised an eyebrow as your mouth opened and closed a few times, caught off guard by the questions.

"excuse me? it is literally called the morning after pill. how would she have had time to go see a doctor and take a test? not that any of that is your business." leah was suddenly beside you, sunglasses pushed onto her forehead and signature scowl on her face.

"well i-"

"exactly. so can you please get her the fucking pill? legally i don't think she's required to do anything than prove she's of age to purchase it." leah warned seriously as the womans eyes widened and she nodded, quickly rummaging around behind her.

"here." she placed it down in front of you and rang you up, your phone tapping to pay as leah stared the woman down firmly. "thank you." the blonde smiled though it didn't reach her eyes, the two of you quickly making your way out of the store and back to leahs car.

"seems all i'm doing today is saying thank you." you smiled hovering by her car, leah dismissing it with a small wave. "you might need to wait and take that in a little bit though." leah gestured for you to get into the car as she rounded to her own side.

"why?" you asked, eyebrows furrowing in confusion as she started up the engine, arm draped across the back of your seat looking over her shoulder with a grin.

"well because i just realised i didn't pay for these sunglasses."

"we're at your place?" you questioned later as the blonde pulled into her driveway and cut the engine off. you'd already taken the pill during the drive, missing the way leahs eyes flickered to you every few minutes to check you were okay.

"yeah i figured you probably shouldn't be by yourself, just in case theres any side effects or anything." leah brushed it off as you nodded slowly, genuinely too tired and hungover to find an argument.

you followed her out of the car and into her home, finding it strange to be stood here in broad daylight and uncertain of what was to come, awkwardly wrapping your arms around yourself.

"do you want a shower?" leah offered as you glanced down and realised you really could use one, the thought of being able to wash off the remnants of last night too tempting to turn down.

"yeah that would be great, thank you."

you exhaled heavily as you exited leahs shower already feeling better, finding a bundle of clean clothes waiting at the door for you to change into.

you couldn't help but inhale as you wiggled yourself into her clothes, drowned in the scent of leahs expensive perfume and green apple body wash, unable to deny the comfort it strangely provided you.

"all good?" leah asked as you appeared, the girl also unable to deny the weird way her stomach twisted seeing you clad in her clothes. "yeah your water pressure is insane." you chuckled making her grin, licking a dollop of jam off her thumb.

"thought you might want something to eat but i haven't exactly done my groceries yet." leah offered you a plate of toast, slight pink blush in her cheeks, something you'd not seen from the footballer the entire time you'd known her.

"its perfect." you assured, ignoring the urge to tease her for blushing knowing the girl had practically saved you today and you owed her a great debt of gratitude.

"do you want to watch something?" leah offered, thumb pointing to the lounge as you nodded, following her over here as you sat down, leah right beside you with her own plate and grabbing the remote.

"is that...just plain bread?" you asked, amusement present in your features at the blondes choice of breakfast. "yeah, so?" she scoffed defensively as you raised your hands up in surrender.

"nothing...the stomach wants what it wants." you laughed, leah kicking you playfully and grabbing her plate, settling back into the lounge and propping her sock covered feet onto the coffee table.

"you watch this?" you asked with surprise as she flicked on last nights episode of big brother. "you don't?" she questioned with a mouthful of bread as you grimaced and knocked your knee into hers.

"of course i do, just didn't picture englands captain wasted her time on trashy reality tv!" you teased taking a bite of your toast as she shrugged, reaching behind her to grab a blanket off the back of the lounge, putting down her plate and gesturing for you to put your arms up as she draped it across the two of you.

"might be a god in the bedroom but i am still human." she winked as you jokingly gagged and she pulled a face, settling back down and munching on her plain bread as a comfortable silence fell between the pair of you.

you weren't sure when you fell asleep but you awoke several hours later dazed and confused. you tensed realising you weren't alone, an arm draped across your midsection as you groggily rubbed your eyes, blinking a few times and coming to.

you quickly realised it was leah draped across you, a mess of blonde hair covering her face as it was tucked into your shoulder, her arm slung tightly across your midsection, other hand intertwined with yours as you realised your fingers were interlocked.

you felt weird, no-you felt good. it felt strangely right to be in this foreign position with her and that was terrifying, the subtle and warm and welcoming domesticity of the situation filled you with dread and with fear.

you couldn't develop feelings for her, not for leah.

leah who wouldn't even look at you after she'd spend hours worshipping your body and having you chanting her name among all sorts of obscenities.

leah who would just toss you your clothes and wander off for a shower or roll back over in bed facing away from you, which you knew all too well was the unspoken cue for you to leave.

yet here she was curled up into you, legs stretched out across the coffee table and tucked under a blanket, holding your hand and your body in a way so tender you had almost forgotten what sincere non sexual intimacy felt like.

so you did what countless nights spent with her had trained you to, you left.

carefully unwinding yourself out of her grip the blonde had stirred but remained asleep, allowing you the time to shrug off her clothes and slip back into your dress from the night before with a disgusted grimace at the memories they held.

folding up her clothes and leaving them on the arm of the lounge you gave her one last look, a weird longing to just wrap yourself back up in her arms all you needed to push you out her front door.

leah had woken up not long after, frown on her face as she realized you weren't beside her anymore and the clothes you'd had on were neatly folded a few metres away, and since that morning leah hadn't heard a word from you.

you sighed deeply as you watched the blonde make her way down the row of seats, smiling and shaking hands as she went but heading right for you.

"you have to be joking." you mumbled to yourself as she dropped herself in the spare seat right beside you, not missing the way you physically recoiled and pulled your body as far to the other side of your seat as you could to get away from her.

"you forgot your drink." leah offered it out to you, giving an awkward smile as you glanced at her but accepted it none the less, taking a sip and sitting it down in the holder on your right.

"i'm not thanking you." you warned her, hoping that was all she wanted and would head off to another seat but you had no such luck as she wriggled around and made herself comfortable.

"look i'm really sorry i took that way too far and-" you almost thought you might not hear from her again as the set started, leah leaning in to whisper to you as your eyes closed and you sighed again.

"its fine, just shut up leah." you sharply cut her off, the blonde nodding and leaning back, both of you pulled into conversations with other people as the box buzzed with quiet chatter.

eventually though you once again found yourself with not much else to occupy you as the chatter died out and the match began to heat up, leah muttering commentary under her breath as you chanced a look at her and chuckled at the concentrated scowl on her face.

"what?" she didn't miss it as your head snapped forwards again and you shrugged. "no go on, whats so amusing?" she questioned crossing her arms and turning her body just slightly toward you.

"frown lines." you pointed to your own forehead and back to hers with a small smile as her cheeks flushed red. "oh." she was quick to relax her face, though as you chanced another look toward her a few minutes later you smiled seeing the scowl right back there again.

"shut up i can't help it, this stresses me out." leah knocked her knee into yours and crossed her arms over her chest. "why? have you given up football for a budding tennis career?" you chuckled as she mocked you and pulled a face.

"no. but i know what the pressure is like to play a sport at this high a level, and how hard you are on yourself for every little thing. even without the eyes on you here they'll be thinking about the media, fans, family, everyone is just watching and waiting, hoping you mess up or do something dumb they can rip you apart for." leah retorted as your face softened a little at her words.

"yeah i sort of understand that." you agreed, feeling not too dissimilarly when you walked a runway. "maybe i'll come to your next show and kick a football at you." leah commented casually as your head snapped toward her, the cheeky grin all you needed to know she was messing about as your eyes rolled and a small smile tugged at your lips which you quickly corrected.

"i saw that." "you're getting heatstroke. only you would wear a three piece charcoal suit in the middle of summer." "summer? have you seen those clouds? i'll put a tenner on that we don't even get through the next set before a rain break."

and annoyingly enough of course leah was correct, the day wrapping up as the skies had opened and an icy wind was whipping around the air, nipping and pinching at every scrap of flesh it came into contact with.

you nodded along with a polite smile, chatting with a few people as you were longing to leave, the cold chill setting into your skin as goosebumps appeared and your arms were wrapped tightly around you.

finally their own car arrived and they bid you goodbye, a sigh of relief leaving your lips as you checked the eta for your uber and saw it wasn't too far away.

"see i told you it would rain." you jolted as soft material settled over your shoulders, turning around to meet a familiar smile.

"don't. you're going to get yourself sick if you stand here shivering like an idiot." leah cut you off before you could even say what she knew you were about to, hands knocking away your own which tried to shrug off her suit jacket she'd draped over you.

"thank you." you admitted with a smile, leah nodding and checking her phone as you tried to ignore just how good she looked. "try not to get it wet, its not actually dad its dior!" the blonde smirked as you playfully rolled your eyes.

"got any plans for tonight?" you made conversation as the pair of you stood side by side, leah shaking her head and shoving her hands into her pockets, rocking back and forth on the balls of her feet.

before you were able to stop yourself or think it through the words were tumbling out of your mouth with a mind of their own.

"do you feel like a dance?"

a dance had been putting it mildly as you moved and swayed your body to the beat, bass so thunderous it pumped and shook the floor beneath you.

taking leah as your plus one you'd arrived to the party you'd been invited to, the blonde shocked to say the least as you'd dragged her into the large warehouse where it was taking place.

it had all started off tame enough, finding a table of your friends you sat down with leah by your side, the blondes charming demeanor taking over as she found no issues holding her own in conversation with them.

then someone had appeared with a round of shots, and well it all seemed to go downhill from there.

which hours later is what had head to the liquid confidence flowing through both yours and leahs veins, her body pressed against yours as lights pulsed around you only showing flickers of her face every now and then.

a familiar urge starting to grow in the coil of your stomach you grabbed the defenders hands, placing them on your stomach and pushing your ass back into her, leaning your head back on her shoulder and feeling her nose tuck into your neck.

“i think you’ve forgotten i know all of your tricks pretty girl.” leah laughed, lips grazing your ear as you strained to hear her over the thumping music engulfing the pair of you.

reaching up and tangling a hand in her hair you pulled her closer, lips kissing at her jaw and feeling her own hands begin to wander as your teeth tugged at her earlobe.

“and I think you’ve forgotten i know all your weaknesses, captain."

that was the final nail in the coffin, a small frown creased into your features as you felt her pull away and worried if you'd misread the signals you thought she'd been giving all night.

but all of that was blown to hell and back as her hand found its home against the back of your neck and she pressed into you again, leading you out of the mass of sweaty bodies on the dance floor.

a grin was plastered on your face as she snagged her suit jacket off the back of her chair and grabbed your hand with her other, pulling you with her toward the exit.

"hi." you smiled as the fresh air hit you, the pair of you wandering away from the drunken fallen soldiers littering the exit, leah pulling your body into hers as you hid yourselves around a corner out of sight.

"hello." she grinned back, hands falling either side of your face as your hand grabbed the back of her neck, finally pulling her mouth to meet yours as the pair of you melted into one another.

"this is a bad idea right?" you mumbled against her lips feeling her nod. "terrible idea." she pulled away momentarily, chest heaving and face flushed pink as you tangled your hands in her blonde locks and she grinned.

"so, your place or mine?"

~

"jesus christ leah." you exhaled shakily, rolling off of her and running a hand through your hair, struggling to catch your breath as you closed your eyes for a moment and felt her body vibrate with quiet laughter beside you.

"you still with me?" you opened them to see her hovering over you, cheeky smile on her lips as you nodded. "that certainly didn't sound fake." her smile morphed into a smirk as you pushed her and she collapsed back into the pillows beside you.

"that was what that was about? proving a point?" you struggled to get out, coming down from your fourth orgasm in a row. "no! well not the first three anyway, but that one? yeah that one was personal." leah confirmed cockily as you reached a hand over to gently slap her cheek, feeling her lips kiss at your palm with a chuckle.

the pair of you had barely made it through her front door, hands burning and twitching as you'd done your best to keep them off one another in the excruciatingly long uber ride back.

"fuck me." leah had exhaled as you wasted no time dropping to your knees in front of her the moment you'd crossed the threshold of the bedroom, tugging at her pants as she clumsily fumbled with her belt.

"i'm trying to." you'd grinned up at her making her eyes roll as she tangled a hand in your hair, having started off pleasuring her first and reaping in the moans you drew from the older girl while your face was buried between her legs.

then things had moved to the bed and leah wasted no time reminding you that just because you struck first she was the one in control, and what felt like hours later here you were struggling to return to earth.

"i should go." your body shifted back into autopilot as you'd finally caught your breath, sitting up and pushing your hair to one side of your head as you covered yourself with the blanket and leaned down to rummage through the pile of clothes on the floor for your own.

"or you could stay." you froze at that, time seeming to stand still as leah tried to push down the nerves which consumed her following her statement, fidgeting with her fingers which were hidden beneath the blanket.

“you never ask me to stay.” you still hadn't moved, arm slung over the edge of the bed and your dress in hand, this uncharted territory quite terrifying as you had no idea what would come next.

“you never seemed like you wanted to.” you sat up at that, looking down at her with a slight frown. "you never seemed like you wanted me to." you quipped back as leah sighed, running her hands down her face and flopping them onto the mattress.

"i didn't think i did." she admitted quietly, glancing up at you as you looked on curiously and nodded for her to continue. "i thought this was just casual hook ups. then you called me that morning from that guys house and hearing how upset you were made me worried, more worried than i would be for someone i didn't care about." she sighed, avoiding looking at you now.

"then we came back here and you showered and wore my clothes and we hung out and it felt good. i thought maybe we might be able to explore something more than just hooking up but..." she trailed off as now you looked away and bit the inside of your cheek.

"but then i left." you finished for her as she nodded. "why didn't you ever answer when i reached out afterwards?" leah asked as you shuffled back to lay down again beside her.

"well when i called you that morning i thought it was just auto pilot. but then you were so helpful and sweet and we did hang out which was different but not in a bad way." you paused to think over your next words.

"then i woke up and you were holding me which felt...good, and that scared me. we've never been intimate in a non sexual way and i guess i just assumed it was a reflex for you since you were asleep, because every time we'd sleep together-" you were stopped as leah cut you off.

"-i'd throw your clothes at you and expect you to leave." the blonde admitted, the two of you sharing a look and a small smile, cheeks flushed with color.

"yes. then i panicked because it felt good and different and weird, and i assumed you'd not share those feelings and just break things off anyway, so i broke it off first to save myself and here we are." your hand moved closer to brush against hers, a silence falling between you.

"so.." leah trailed off, her leg moving next to graze yours. "so..." you echoed, finger stretching to trace a line down the back of her hand.

"would you want to stay over then?" leah broke first, head turning to face you as you noticed the obvious worry in her eyes at what you would say.

"okay." you agreed, corners of your mouth tugging upward as her eyebrows raised in clear surprise. "but you’re making me breakfast in the morning.” you declared, leahs laugh echoing around the room.

"deal. jam on toast it is!" she teased, a warmth spreading through your body as her hand moved again to sit on top of yours, her fingers linking and sliding around your own, the blonde raising it up and placing a soft kiss to your palm again.

"well for me. just plain bread for you right?" you quipped back, catching her off guard as you leaned in and pecked her lips, darting back away before she could return the gesture with a twinkle in your eyes.

“a fun fact you’ll grow to love is i am a terrible chef.” leah admitted as now your laugh filled the room, shuffling closer and turning on your side to face her as she did the same, feet nudging yours apart to slot her leg in between yours.

“and what else should I know?” you smiled, pointer finger of your free hand tracing absentminded lines across her face. "mm well i eat a plain ham sandwich before and after every game, i am a huge star wars nerd, i love country music...and i would really like to take you on a proper date." leah finished with a smile that had you reeling, cheeks heating up even more.

"do the tips of your ears always go red when you're embarrassed? how have i noticed that before thats adorable?" leah cooed and tugged at them as you whined and leaned forward pressing your face into her shoulder.

"leave me alone." you grumbled, pulling your head back onto the pillow and resuming tracing the curve of her jaw. “i think you’re working backwards, I don’t normally sleep with women on the first date.” you teased, green eyes rolling playfully.

"well I don’t normally sleep with women i date.” she smiled charmingly for a moment before the realization dawned on her she'd not quite said that right and she frowned.

“no that came out wrong i meant i-" you didn't let her finish, pressing your lips against hers with a laugh, your mouths moving together in perfect harmony.

"shut up. i'd love to go on a date with you.” you promised, pecking her lips a few more times and melting at the way her face lit up. "yeah?" you nodded. "yeah."

"now something you'll learn to love about me, i've never seen a single star wars movie." you confessed, leahs jaw dropping in disbelief as she sat up so quickly it made you jolt in shock.

"what are you doing?" you questioned confused as she pulled her body away from you, rolling out of bed still completely naked and rushing around her room.

"you, are getting a movie education." she pointed to you threateningly, disappearing into her closet for a moment.

"right now? leah we just had sex i'm naked!" you laughed, wincing as a bundle of material hit you in the face, pulling it away and holding it up.

"oh this is the darth vader guy right? luke skywalkers dad?" you realised who was on the shirt as leah stopped her rushing about, stood at the end of the bed staring at you in disbelief.

"that is like the biggest plot twist of the franchise how on earth did you know that?" "leah...vater in german literally means father!"

"have you always been such a know it all?" leah scoffed as you rolled your eyes, sitting up and tugging her shirt over your head, reaching down to find your underwear.

"i'm making popcorn, get comfy!" leah called out as she darted out of her bedroom. "leah at least put some pants on!" you laughed at her naked form flitting around the kitchen.

"well another fun fact for you to know pretty girl, wearing pants is actually banned in this house."

[justwinginglife]

Wait For Me

Inspired by ideas from @adaizel (my dude, you really do be milking the longest fics out of me lmao I appreciate you though)

You'd known Soshiro Hoshina your whole life as both of you came from respectable kaiju-slaying clans, and though you knew most everything about him, you wanted to ignore one particular thing about him- that he was probably not into you.

Having seen you in diapers and then seen you in braces, you were more likely to be seen as a little sister to him rather than a love interest. He'd bandaged you up too many times after you got hurt and wiped your snot from your tear stained face too regularly to think any different. You denied the painful thought frequently though, continuing your active pursuit of him.

He was several years older than you, but you never stopped trying to remind him that you were a woman.

You recalled the first time you'd ever worn a bikini in front of him. He'd wanted to take you swimming in the ocean, the way he always did every summer, and you thought that it was high time that you show off what the lord gave you. But unfortunately, if he was shocked or awestruck at all by the lack of coverage over your body, he didn't show it. Even when you'd jumped in the air trying to hit a beach volleyball and your boobs had bounced their way to kingdom come, he still didn't react.

It made you want to try anything to get his attention. Suck a popsicle a little too hard, little too deep. Dry your dripping body off with his towel, because oops you forgot one. And you even made sure to drag the towel extra slow in between your legs.

Eventually you resorted to trying out different hairstyles and different makeup to try and get any sort of reaction from him. You thought the man should try gambling because he had one hell of a poker face, always treating you the exact same as he always did.

You thought it might be hopeless after all, but you had found out that Soshiro planned on leaving to join the Defense Force soon and you didn't want to give up on him, not after having pined for him your whole life. You felt you needed some sort of closure at least.

You already knew your parents would never let you follow him into battle, you were the sole heir to the clan. It was your duty to run the household, settle down, make more heirs. But before you resigned yourself to your fate, you needed him to know how you felt even if he didn't return the feelings (though you desperately hoped he did).

Your heart pounds as you begin to write him a letter and then you think your heart might just give in and collapse as you hand the letter off to your lady's maid to deliver to him.

Soshiro had been packing the last of his things in the dead of the night, getting ready to ship out in the morning, when he got your letter. He reads it over carefully, his eyes widening as they trail down the page. He rereads it again, making sure he didn't misinterpret.

Then he slips his shoes on quick as he can, and makes the short walk to your house, knocking gently on your bedroom door.

You open the door and smile when you see him but when you notice the letter in his hand and the solemnity etched into his face, you know he's not here to deliver good news. Before he can say anything, you begin to speak, wanting to get your words out before the tears come. "Can you- can you just wait for me? Please? Wait for me to be someone you can love? I'll be finished with my lessons soon and they say I'll be the lady of the house in no time at all. I can come visit you when I find the time. I can... I can make it work. Just please. Wait for me."

He holds both of your hands in his, giving them a gentle squeeze. For the first time in your life, you see his poker face wavering. He musters up his best smile for you, but it's not the sweet smile you know, it's apologetic from top to bottom.

"Thank you... for entrusting your feelings to a fool like me. If I'd known how you felt... well never mind that. I can't change what I would've done just as much as I can't change the different directions we're going in. We- we're living separate lives now, darling. And I can't wait for you, much as I'd like to. I need to do this, I need to go. And you have to stay here. I can't take you with me. Please forgive me."

With every word he says, the tears spill out more and more aggressively until all you are is a quivering mess, watching your one and only true love fade from your life.

"You'll forget me soon enough." He whispers as he pulls you into a quick hug, then he wipes your tears and begins to walk away.

Before he fades from view completely, you yell at the top of your lungs, not caring that it's the middle of the night, "I'd never forget you! I'll wait for you then! I'll always wait for you."

All you can see is his back, and you wonder if he heard you. If he smiled at all. If he reacted at all.

Then he rounds the corner and disappears with all your hopes and dreams.

You fall to the floor, knees crashing against the hard surface, but they don't hurt nearly as much as the ache in your empty chest.

You don't get a good sleep that night. In fact, you don't get a good sleep for many nights to come.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Soshiro made Vice Captain of the Third Division rather quickly. The view from the top (he was told) was supposedly rather glorious, but when he got there he found it empty and lacking, realizing there was no one to share in his triumph. No one to cheer on his victory, to tell him they knew he could do it.

Then he thought of you again. It'd been years since he'd seen you but he still thought of you. Nearly everyday, against his will. He'd tried to force the feelings down, tried to ignore the picture of your tear-stained face in his mind, tried to stop hearing your voice echoing in his ears. He'd stayed up late training every night, until the ache in his heart was drowned out by the aching in the rest of his body. He'd even gone on random dates with random women to try to break the cycle of dreaming about you day and night, but he'd hear your voice in someone's laugh or he'd see your sparkle in someone's eyes, and he knew he couldn't deny himself any longer.

Trying not to love you was like trying to stop the push and pull of the waves, or trying to stop the rotation of the Earth, it couldn't be done.

He opens the top drawer of his desk again. Your letter is sitting right there, where he'd left it, for easy viewing access whenever he felt like wondering about what could've been. Wondering about how you're doing, about who you're with.

Do you still visit the secret spot he'd found for the two of you? Do you still play the violin, the one that he bought you? Do you... still love him? Did you wait for him?

The downward spiral of his thoughts sends him into a frenzy, as he hurriedly jams random clothes into a suitcase with just one clear thought in mind- he wants, he needs to see you. He needs to smell you, to hear you, to tell you how he feels. To make up for making you cry. To make up for all these years of lost time. To beg you for another chance. To let you love him. To let himself love you.

Captain Ashiro approves his hasty request for leave (having never seen the man take any time off at all in the many years he'd been in the Defense Force) and soon enough he's on the first bullet train back to his hometown.

He knocks on the familiar wood of your front door. His hands are shaking and his mind is scattered, filled with endless, useless, worrying thoughts, but he knows when he sees you everything will be okay. If he can just see you again, he'll know what to say, he'll know what to do, he'll be whole again.

The door opens and his smile is at the ready, waiting to greet you, but it's your mother that answers the door and his lips freeze mid-smile. He listens intently, his heart dropping into his stomach, as she explains that you've eloped with his brother- Soichiro.

He tastes salt and he realizes he's crying on your doorstep the way you did for him all those years ago. He hurriedly wipes his cheeks and thanks your mother quickly, before backing away. She gives him a sympathetic look as he stumbles down the street, lost in a daze.

For the first time in years, he doesn't know what he wants. What he should do. But he still needs to see you, married or not, and that desire drives him to get onto the next train to the Sixth Division.

When he arrives, it looks like they're throwing some sort of party. He checks his reflection in a nearby window, making sure the crying he did on the way here isn't visible in his eyes or his cheeks. When he's fixed his hair and adjusted his collar to his liking, he heads into the main building.

He asks around and it appears they're inducting a new Vice Captain.

He watches from the back row as the new Vice Captain takes the stage, waving and grinning. His heart roars in his chest when he realizes it's you.

Your speech is sweet and short but he hangs onto every word, watching your lips as they move.

Then you step down from the stage and the ceremony is concluded. Officers start to file out of the room and then eventually it's just you and him.

He lifts a hand awkwardly, giving you a little wave.

He thinks you might ignore him. Thinks you might turn around and walk away. Leave through the nearest exit. Run through the nearest exit, desperate to get away from him. From the man who broke your heart.

But he never could've expected what you'd do.

You do run but you run towards him, leaping into his arms.

He's shocked but he quickly pulls himself together and pulls you tight against him, inhaling the sweet scent of you. He doesn't want to talk about what happened or what is going to happen when you finally let go, he just wants to hold you and let this be enough. But the erratic beat of his heart isn't satisfied with just holding you. He needs to make you his.

He pulls away and grabs your hands, checking for a ring. He almost cries again when he doesn't see one.

You laugh, looking at him puzzled. "Yes? Something you need?"

"You're... you're not married." His breath is so shaky it's a wonder he was able to form words at all.

"I said I'd wait, didn't I?" You whisper, pulling your hands away from his so you can cup his face and stroke his cheeks with your thumbs.

Now he starts crying.

You kiss the tears away from his cheeks. "Hey, I don't remember you being such a crybaby. What happened to the tough Vice Captain of the Third Division?" You tease him but your voice is still soft, filled with concern at his sudden burst of emotion.

"H-he's not here right now. Just me. Just a man who's in love with you, wondering if you can still find it in you to love him back."

You smile warmly at him and he thinks he might just die now and go to heaven, having finally seen your smile for real and not just in his haunting dreams.

"I said I'd wait, and I have. I'd wait a thousand years for you. I'd wait more than that. It's you, it's always been you and it always will be."

He sighs, relieved. He takes you in his arms again, pulling you close and trailing kisses all over you. Then he freezes.

"Wait, I heard you ran off to get married with my brother?"

You laugh and the sound is enough to melt his heart and ease his nerves. "Well I guess that's partially true. I mean I did run away with him but only to join his division, that's it. I was hoping to run into you."

Soshiro squeezes you tighter, afraid if he lets you go this might be a dream. "So marry me then."

The waves continue to push and pull, the Earth continues to spin on its axis, and Soshiro continues to love you immensely and infinitely the rest of his entire life.

[upsidedownmvnson]

reader is insecure about big boobs | eddie munson

warnings: reader is insecure about big boobies :(

requested by anon <3

"What's left on the list, my love?"

Eddie Munson was a powerhouse of a boyfriend, always. Not in sheer strength, but just in general boyfriendiness. Today you guys were out and about in town, just running errands for you. So far today you'd gotten your haircut, went to the dentist, did the groceries for your house, dropped something off to your friend, and now you guys were at the mall, eating french fries and taking a little break.

Not once did Eddie get annoyed, bored, or impatient. He just followed along, performing finger drum songs in various waiting rooms while you were busy. In fact, you'd told him it would be boring but he insisted that he be your private chariot for the day.

You unfold the weak paper. It's been folded and unfolded this sheet so many times that it was just begging to fall apart. The blue pen was fading as if you hadn't written this last night.

You sigh, "just bra shopping."

"Best for last," Eddie grinned, rubbing his hands together.

Obviously, he'd never been bra shopping before. You had. You would spend the next hour trying on bras that don't fit and will end up paying forty bucks for a bra you don't even like, and barely fit into, like one weight flux and it would start gathering dust in your drawer.

But what are you supposed to do? They never have your size, and when they do they're neon pink, or have the same effect as a sports bra, and you already wore a sports bra enough. You wanted something sexy, something to push up the girls and say, "hey look at me! I probably don't have stretch marks from being pulled down to her belly button all the time!"

But you do...

You felt the tears welling up in your eyes before you could even say anything else. Bra shopping is the worst and you'd already had a long day.

"Hey, hey," Eddie said softly, recognizing the overwhelmed look in your eye. He stood up and shimmied around so he could sit beside you in the booth. "What happened? What's wrong, Petal?"

"Maybe we should just call it," you said, wiping at a tear that managed to sneak out. "And I can do this tomorrow."

"Wouldn't you like to just get it out of the way? I can help you real quick and then I can take you home, we can set up a movie night and just relax the rest of the day? How's that sound?"

It sounded really good. And the way he spoke softly and kindly reassured you that he's got your back, and he probably wouldn't even laugh at you if you told him the truth, which you were considering. Maybe he could even help?

"What if I can't find anything?"

"Then I'll take you somewhere else."

"What is they laugh at me?"

"Then I'll burn the store down."

You laughed, and he smiled, putting an arm around you and pulling you into his side. He kissed the top of your head a few times before resting his chin on your head.

"C'mon Petal, tell me what's bothering you."

"Eddie, have you ever been bra shopping? I have watermelons strapped to my chest, nothing fits! And when it does it gives me uniboob. And uniboob even costs like a thousand dollars - and even then, I'm- I'm..." you sniffle, trying not to cry in the middle of the food court.

"Baby..." he cooed, holding you tightly. He didn't care if people saw the pda, he would comfort you when and where you needed it. You couldn't see his face, but where you imagined him cringing, he was just smiling sadly. He hated that you felt like this. "I wish you saw what I saw."

"I wish you felt what I felt," you said. "They're literally weighing me down."

"I have a solution."

"That's not you just holding them up all day?"

"I do not have a solution."

"It's just frustrating."

"I know baby," he said, "Can I just... I don't want to make it worse but baby, you are so gorgeous. Top to bottom, just perfection. I know you might hate them, but personally..." Eddie sighed, you were still smushed into his chest, but pulled away to see his face. He pushed his own chin into his neck to look down at you, but somehow still looked ridiculously beautiful. He grinned. "Personally I like when they spill through my fingers."

"Eddie!"

"What!? It's so true, there's so much to grab. To kiss. Ugh, just suffocate me with them so I can die happy."

You giggled, "Okay you win for now. Let's go do this - but if I need to talk to an employee I'm making you do it."

"Deal."

As you gathered your stuff, Eddie watched you. Honestly shocked that someone as beautiful as you even found time to bother with insecurities. He would do literally anything to make you see yourself the way that he sees you.

He takes your bags, holding the girly shopping bags with no hesitation or problem.

And he says, "but I can help you hold them up later, right?"

[plutowrites]

Of Magic

note: whew dusted off the ole keyboard for this one. if i'm rusty, you gotta allow it. i love this one sm. because i love nanami kento. that is all.

pairings: dad!nanami x (fem) reader

contains: fluff. nanami being the best duh wbk. modern au.

You hear a faint scraping noise from the kitchen as you quietly enter your home, holding your breath while gently closing the door behind you. It's 9:53 PM, and although wishful thinking has you hoping the girls are fast asleep in their beds, you know they're probably waiting for you to come and kiss them goodnight. In your opinion, Kento outshines you in almost every aspect of parenting, but bedtime belongs to you. He just can't do stories like you can—nothing beats the silly voices you give to each character. Your voice range is impeccable.

However, it is late, and you've had multiple conversations with your children about not waiting up for you tonight; one when they had just woken up, another during breakfast, and the last reminder during the car ride to school before dropping them off. They know very well that you had a company event to attend outside of work hours and wouldn't be home until late at night. But still, a small (horrible) part of you wanted them to still be awake, just to hear their cute giggles and feel their tiny, warm hands wrapped around your neck in a tight hug. 

"How'd it go?" Kento asks, closing the lid over the Tupperware filled with tonight's dinner, which looks (and smells) like beef and broccoli stir-fry. You stand in the kitchen with a puzzled look on your face.

Instead of answering his question, you point to the food in his hands. "They ate the broccoli?"

Nanami turns to face you and frowns. "Of course they ate the broccoli."

"What?! They never eat broccoli when I'm around."

"That's only because you don't eat broccoli, honey. You're their hero; they wouldn't even touch chocolate cake if dearest mommy turned up her nose at it."

"Dearest mommy, huh," you repeat after him, a grin slowly spreading across your face. Kento wraps one arm around your shoulders lazily, pulling you into him and pressing a quick kiss to the top of your head.

"They should be asleep—"

"Nice."

"But they're probably not," Nanami finishes. You lean your head back to look at him. The beginnings of a smile dance on the corners of his lips.

You fake gasp. "How naughty."

"Soooo naughty."

"I'll go check on them when I go up there to change my clothes." Kento lets go of you and runs a hand through his hair. Noting the exhaustion on his face, you add, "You should rest now that I'm home. I can pack the girls' lunches for tomorrow too."

He shakes his head. "They're already done, but did you know they're really into star shapes now? It was just hearts last week. I can do hearts. I did hearts like a pro, actually."

"Are stars really that hard to do?" You ask, tongue in cheek.

He shoots you a look. In your husband’s defense, he really did cut hearts into foods like a pro. Every single item that went into the girls’ lunch boxes that could be carved into the shape of a heart, was in the shape of a heart. You always watched Kento from the couch in the living room as he meticulously sliced and diced away to make his girls happy.

You pat your hand across one of his cheeks and coo, "You're the best dad ever, literally." You draw out the word literally, eliciting a snort from Nanami.

"I had to ban that word today."

Now it’s your turn to laugh—your oldest daughter learned the word 'literally' in school this week and hasn't stopped using it since. It's sort of hilarious how she sneaks it into every other sentence. You tilt your head to the side and reply in the most serious tone you can muster, "Thank you because it was literally driving me, literally, insane, literally."

A chorus of giggles erupts from the top of the stairs, followed by a thundering rumble of footsteps descending. The moment in the kitchen, interrupted.

Nanami shakes his head gently and sighs, "Hmm, I wonder if they’re awake."

You grab the back of his neck, yank him closer, and plant a loud kiss on his cheek. "My babies are spoiled like little princesses. They need entertainment to go to sleep, and I am their jester. I bid you farewell."

"You’re going to read them a bedtime story?"

"Yes, I am going to read them a bedtime story..."

"Now? At 10:00 PM? And you call me soft..."

“You are, don’t even start.”

After a beat, Kento says softly, “You're so good to them, you know? They’re so lucky to have you.”

Hearing those words from him stops you in your tracks. They wouldn't mean nearly as much coming from anyone else as they do coming from Kento, simply because he is the best father. 

He’s so patient, and kind, and understanding. He lets the girls wear whatever madness they want, and is completely fluent in their ramblings and mumbles— far better than you. He knows exactly how they like their oatmeal, and memorized the milk to cereal ratio they must have in their bowls or else the world stops for them; he knows exactly what to say when they're feeling upset to calm them down.

He learned how to bake white chocolate raspberry muffins because it’s their favourite. He learned how to do funky hairstyles just because a crazy hair day at their school was on the horizon. He even learned how to patch holes in their clothes instead of telling them not to lay and roll around in the wood chips at the park because he couldn't bear to cut into their fun.

If Kento didn’t know how to do something, he learned. He was always trying. 

To you, your husband is a hard-working, dedicated, outrageously beautiful force of a man.

To your children, he’s nothing short of magic.

[writerofsorts]

One Year Later

(image creds: to the owner)

pairing: jason dilaurentis x female reader.

summary: 1x08 “please do talk about me when i’m gone” episode imagine/rewrite.

warnings: mentions of addiction/alcoholism.

—————

The bell rang at the end of the last period, marking the school day as complete, and [Y/N] [Y/L/N] let out a heavy sigh. Half of the class was already out the door and [Y/N] quickly packed her things before exiting the classroom as well. As she got near her locker to grab her coat, her pace slowed as she noticed one of her best friends waiting for her.

"Han?" [Y/N] asked in surprise.

"There you are!" Hanna exclaimed as [Y/N] stopped in front of her.

"Not that I'm not happy to see you, but what are you doing here?" [Y/N] asked in confusion.

"Ouch," Hanna threw her head back dramatically, causing [Y/N] to laugh as she opened her locker.

"Okay, Hanna banana, I thought we were supposed to meet at Spencer's?" asked [Y/N] as she grabbed her coat and shut the locker before leaning against it to face Hanna.

"Yes, we were," Hanna nodded in agreement. "I wanted to wait for you though."

"I just… I figured you might not wanna walk in there… alone," Hanna explained further when [Y/N] seemed confused and the latter's expression fell as she understood what her friend meant.

Jason DiLaurentis was back in Rosewood to help organize his sister, Alison's memorial, and [Y/N] along with her friends were supposed to meet him after school. It was already difficult to accept that Alison was no more and it was harder planning a memorial for her. It all felt unreal.

On top of that, it was extra hard for [Y/N] to come face to face with the man she had feelings for. It started out as a simple crush on her best friend's older brother when Alison initially introduced them. Later on, [Y/N] couldn't help but develop feelings for Jason despite knowing that she probably shouldn't.

"[Y/N/N]?" Hanna's voice pulled [Y/N] out of her thoughts. "You okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine," [Y/N] smiled, nodding.

"Look, you don't have to do this," Hanna said, taking [Y/N]'s hand in hers. "I'll just tell the others that you weren't feeling well. Once Ja- he leaves, I'll text you and you can stop by Spencer's if you'd like."

"It's okay, Han, I can do this," [Y/N] replied, smiling softly at her friend's concern for her.

Hanna smiled back, and the two walked out of the school and towards Hanna's car. On the way to Spencer's house, Hanna kept chatting about various topics, hoping to keep her bestie's mind off of the upcoming meeting with Jason. Although [Y/N] responded, it didn't take long before her mind went back to the time Hanna had first confronted her about her feelings for Jason.

[Y/N], Aria, Emily, Hanna, and Spencer found themselves in yet another college party Alison had sneaked them into with fake id’s. 

Alison was nowhere to be seen while the other girls decided to stick together. In order to avoid any unnecessary attention, they sat in a corner and chatted among themselves. 

That was when [Y/N]’s eyes fell on Jason, who stood by the bar with a bottle of beer in his hand. He looked like a mess, but she thought he looked gorgeous, nevertheless. The top few buttons of his navy blue shirt were left open, giving the perfect view of his tanned skin, and his silver chain hung rather crookedly around his neck. His denim jeans hung loosely on his hips, where his shirt was half tucked messily. His dirty blond hair was disheveled - a result of him running his fingers through the long strands throughout the night. His green eyes were glazed and unfocused as he scanned the surrounding now and then.

This was Jason DiLaurentis ever since [Y/N] had known him. He was either drunk or high along with his best friends, Ian and Garrett. On top of that, his parents didn’t seem to care about how Jason was doing, and Ali never left a chance to taunt and demean her brother. He was destroying his life, himself, and [Y/N] truly felt awful for him. 

She felt like he could do so much better with life if he got help. She also couldn’t help but think that there was a different person underneath the rude and uncaring persona Jason displayed almost all of the time. 

[Y/N] looked on worriedly as Ian dragged Jason off towards the back of the cabin and sighed to herself. She sometimes wished she could talk to Jason, but didn’t have the courage, thanks to his intimidating image. 

“Hey, [Y/N/N]?” Hanna called.

“Yeah?” [Y/N] whispered. She was nervous that Hanna and the rest of her friends might’ve caught her staring longingly and worriedly at Jason. 

“I need to use the bathroom, come with me?” Hanna asked. 

“Yeah, sure,” [Y/N] replied, a little relieved. 

“We’ll be back soon,” Hanna told the other three girls as she and [Y/N] stood up from their seats. 

“Should we come with you two?” Spencer asked in concern. “I don’t like the idea of you two going around this place by yourselves.” 

“We’ll be fine, Spence,” [Y/N] smiled in reassurance. 

“Yeah. If we’re not back in ten minutes, send a rescue team,” Hanna stated mysteriously, causing [Y/N], Aria, and Emily to laugh while Spencer shook her head fondly. 

“Let’s go,” Hanna told [Y/N], looping her arm around the latter’s. 

The two girls made their way through groups and groups of strangers before finally reaching the bathroom. 

“I’ll be here,” [Y/N] smiled at Hanna, leaning against the wall outside the bathroom. 

However, her blonde friend pulled her inside the bathroom, making [Y/N] let out a yelp. 

“Han, what are you doing?” [Y/N] asked in surprise when Hanna quickly locked the door. 

“I need to talk to you,” Hanna said.

“Is everything okay?” [Y/N] asked in concern. 

“I see the way you look at him, [Y/N/N]” Hanna said softly, causing her friend’s eyes to widen. 

“W- what- who are you talking about, Han?” [Y/N] asked nervously.

“Jason, of course,” Hanna replied and there was no judgement in her eyes nor her tone. 

[Y/N] opened her mouth and closed it, unable to come up with a reply.

“It’s okay, [Y/N/N],” Hanna said, standing next to her friend and wrapping a comforting hand around her shoulder. 

“Am I that obvious?” [Y/N] asked with a defeated smile. 

“For me, yes,” Hanna answered. “Have the others asked you anything about this?” 

“No,” [Y/N] shook her head. 

“And… how about Ali?” Hanna asked hesitantly. “Do you think she maybe knows?”

“God, no. I don’t think so,” [Y/N] sighed. “She would kill me.” 

“Hey, it’s okay,” Hanna said kindly. “You can’t help who you have feelings for.” 

“It’s just a crush, Hanna banana,” [Y/N] chuckled softly. “I’m sure I’ll get over it, get over him, soon.” 

“[Y/N/N], crush was last year when all you had was heart eyes for him,” teased Hanna, causing her friend to roll her eyes fondly. “Well, you still have heart eyes whenever he’s around. But, now, you look genuinely worried about him.”

“I- I don’t know,” [Y/N] shrugged. “I just… I feel bad for him. His addiction’s gotten worse since we met him, I feel. His family doesn’t seem to care about him and he doesn’t have the greatest set of friends either. I feel like he can do better with the right guidance. That’s all.”

“Do you think you can talk to him into getting help?” Hanna asked. 

“Oh god no,” [Y/N] denied right away. “I don’t have the guts to go in front of him.” 

“What, why not?” Hanna asked.

“There are so many things that can go wrong, Han,” [Y/N] replied. “One, Ali could find out and make the rest of my life miserable for even thinking of her brother. Two, Jason would probably laugh in my face if I went to have a heart to heart with him.”

Hanna smiled sadly and [Y/N] was quick to reassure her friend. 

“Don’t worry about me too much, okay?” she smiled. “Like I said, it’s just a crush I’ll get over soon.” 

“I’m right here if you need someone to talk to,” Hanna said back. 

“Thanks, Han,” [Y/N] hugged the blonde. “I love you.” 

“Love you more,” Hanna replied and tickled [Y/N] causing the latter to giggle as the two pulled back from the hug. 

“Let’s go before Spencer marches in here looking for us,” [Y/N] said and Hanna agreed. 

“You keep zoning out on me,” Hanna complained with a pout and [Y/N] laughed, shaking her head. 

“Sorry," she replied sheepishly and Hanna rolled her eyes fondly.

The two girls arrived at Spencer’s house faster than [Y/N] would’ve liked. 

“You ready?” Hanna asked her friend. 

'Nope,' [Y/N] thought. 

“Yep,” she replied to Hanna before they got out of the car and walked towards their friend’s house. 

Hanna opened the door and moved inside the house first as [Y/N] followed behind quietly. 

“There they are,” Jason said with a smile and [Y/N]’s breath hitched at hearing his voice after so long. 

“Jason, hi,” Hanna greeted him with a hug. “Sorry, we’re late.” 

“No worries,” Jason replied to Hanna before turning towards [Y/N]. 

“Hi Jason,” [Y/N] greeted Jason with a hug too, trying her best to ignore her thudding heart. 

“Hey, [Y/N], it’s good to see you,” Jason returned her hug with a smile. 

“Likewise,” [Y/N] pulled back from the hug and gave him a small smile before grabbing a seat next to Hanna. 

“So, I was saying,” Jason began, standing on the opposite side of the island to face all the girls. “You girls have done a lovely job on the memorial. I might have done a thing or two differently. We can adjust along the way though.

“Here’s a copy of the program,” he said, handing the girls each a small booklet. 

“I emailed you the program we worked on,” Spencer said, sitting straight in her seat. 

“Right, I saw the draft,” Jason said nonchalantly. “This just fine-tunes it.”

From the corner of her eyes [Y/N] could tell Spencer wasn’t too happy with his words. Jason talked more about the program before he paused when his eyes fell on the photo of his sister. 

“Is this the picture for the program?” he asked, his voice softer than before. 

“Yes,” [Y/N] answered when no one else did and Jason’s eyes fell on her. “It’s everyone’s favorite.” 

“It’s the one I would’ve chosen,” he replied.

[Y/N] nodded with a small smile and Jason returned the gesture before he looked away.

“I thought I’d be able to get my whole family out here, but at the last minute, my mom…” Jason trailed off with a sad sigh. “It’s crazy talking about this, isn’t it? When I think about Ali, I think of you guys. All of you in her bedroom, laughing and keeping secrets. Long time ago now.” 

The girls remained silent as they didn’t know the right way to respond to him. This was actually the very first time they were all having a conversation with Jason in the first place. 

The clock ticked as they talked more about the memorial- well Jason talked while the girls listened. 

“Oh and I’m adding one more speaker to the program,” he said, writing down a name. 

[Y/N] and Emily were the first ones to notice the name as they sat the closest to where Jason was standing. The two looked at each other with almost terrified eyes, increasing the other three girls’ anxiety.

“Jenna Marshall?” Emily was the first to ask, causing Aria, Hanna and Spencer to look at each other in shock. 

“Wait, you want Jenna to speak at the dedication?” [Y/N] asked next, trying her best to not stammer through the sentence.

“That’s right,” Jason replied casually. 

“Why?” Spencer asked suspiciously. 

“She asked me if I could,” said Jason. 

“Jenna asked to speak?” Aria asked, wanting to make sure she and her friends weren’t hearing things. 

“Yes, she did,” Jason replied with a frown. “Is there a problem?” 

“It didn’t occur to us that Ali and Jenna were that close,” [Y/N] added calmly, hoping to lessen the tension that was slowly brewing.

Jason turned to face her and he visibly relaxed, nodding in understanding. 

“I didn’t know either,” he said. “Jenna called and told me that my sister was a lot of help to her after the accident.”

The girls looked at each other, silently wondering what exactly Jenna was up to. 

“Well, concentrate on what you guys are going to say and leave the rest to me,” Jason said, packing his things, oblivious to the difficult situation he had put the girls under. “Now, I’m going to have a talk with Detective Wilden and find out why they still haven’t located Toby.” 

“It’s good to see you girls,” he said with a polite smile and turned to leave. [Y/N] didn’t know if she was imagining things but she could’ve sworn that Jason passed her one last parting smile.

Spencer moved to walk Jason out and [Y/N] shook her head to clear her thoughts. She had more pressing matters at the moments, such as Jenna Marshall. Hanna checked her phone as they waited for Spencer when suddenly [Y/N]’s phone binged. 

Aria and Emily looked at [Y/N] with alerted eyes while the latter nervously took out her cellphone. [Y/N] instantly frowned when she saw that it was Hanna, who had texted her while sitting right next to her. 

‘DON’T LOOK AT ME,’ the text read. 

‘And, he totally likes you.’ 

“Someone we know?” Hanna asked, facing [Y/N] with a teasing glint in her eyes and making sure her other friends couldn't see her.

“Is it A?” Aria asked nervously. 

“Don’t worry, it’s just spam,” [Y/N] smiled at Aria and Emily, who relaxed at her response. 

‘You’re a brat,’ [Y/N] quickly texted Hanna and the latter covered her laugh with a series of coughs.

—————

*read next part here!

[angelsandarsenic]

Queen

Uzui Tengen x f!reader pt.3: Straight for the Castle

It took you a month to find the teacher.

Sure, you had known how many mountains there were in Japan, but you hadn’t realized how much work it would be to climb all of them. Every time you had to stop to catch your breath, or stumbled and scraped your hands and knees on the dirt and rocks, you cursed your house. Your family. All those stupid rules. You had run into a couple low level demons—human sized and with the normal amount of limbs; nothing like the beast that had driven you here—the fact that defeating them had been an easier part of the journey was absurd. You felt pathetic with all the trouble you were having. 

But you were grateful, you realized. Passing through towns and small villages, seeing everyone hard at work each day made you think. Normal people didn’t have servants. Normal people probably hid from demons every night in these more rural areas. And on top of that, to have to keep getting food and keep their clothes and tools neat with so little…you felt soft. Weak. From a different world, even. You had never considered any of this beyond distant recognition before. You didn’t have the muscles or lean tone that any of them had. The hands that could properly grip tools and probably didn’t sting so badly getting scraped up. You had hardly known a hard day’s work in your life. 

They didn’t deserve this, you decided. You couldn’t farm, or work with animals, or even sew (but you were doing your best), but you could keep these people safe. You’d be happy to fight demons if it made their lives a little easier. 

You were learning, at least. With each climb, you took fewer and fewer breaks. You learned how to ration your money and supplies. You were down to one good kimono now, and the one you had torn up before. You should have borrowed some of Takeshi’s clothes. Thankfully, you haven’t had to sell the sword yet. 

If you were in a town, you’d offer any help you could give for food or a room. Those times you had slain demons, the afflicted people had offered it freely, so that had helped. The worst part was the mountains themselves. For days on end people would be sparse or completely nonexistent. You were on your last rations now, you’d have to complete your search here quickly. 

That was when you met him. 

It wasn’t the first time you had woken up in the middle of the night. You shivered violently in the cold, the moon like a spotlight above you. 

There was a tension in the air. Maybe you were imagining it, but you had learned to trust your gut by now. You didn't move. The air smelled ever so faintly of coming snow. There was a quiet rustle of grass from somewhere past your head. For the next few moments you laid still, daring whatever was watching you to come out. 

When nothing happened, you leapt to your feet, immediately turning to the source of the last noise. "Who's there?"

No response. Maybe it was an animal? But you didn't believe that. You half wanted to lash out with your sword, but you wouldn't attack if you didn't know what you would be injuring. You sighed. Leaning down to roll your measly sleeping set back up, you announced, "Well, I'll have to move then I suppose. Might as well keep going if I'm awake. I'm sorry if I've trespassed."

 With a wave, you started toward the other side of the small clearing. I can easily double back and find out where this person came from. Perhaps it's the master, finally. This might be a good time, but why would he be out this late?

"Don't sleep out in the open like that again."

You perked up. "Hm?" When you turned, you still couldn't see who had spoken, but you had a pretty good idea where they would be. 

"You could get attacked. Try to go up a tree next time."

"Thanks for the advice, stranger. I don't suppose I could ask for another favor?"

No response. 

"I'm looking for someone. I'm afraid I'm running out of time to find him, so any help would be much appreciated. Is there a master swordsman who lives on this mountain?"

"There's no one like that here." This time, the man's gruff voice came immediately. 

You smiled. A pretty lady's smile is a powerful weapon. "I got some reliable information in town that said he was here. I'll admit, I've been everywhere else, so unless something has happened, I don't see where else he could be." 

"What if I said he was dead?" The voice didn't sound remorseful, or even stubborn. 

"I don't believe that. Unless there's someone else who has a habit of walking such rough terrain in the middle of the night. Aren't you worried about demons, master?"

At last, a figure stepped out of the shadows. "Demons know better than to come through here. I can't say the same about you. Why call me master, you don't know who I am."

"I do now. You should have stayed in the trees."

The man let out an annoyed groan. His hair flopped as he rubbed his face. You couldn't see his features, only a scar through his eye. "Kids these days are so arrogant. Give up girl. You'll find no master here."

"Then I apologize in advance for my rudeness, because I will be following you home." You bowed. "I humbly request your training, master. I promise, you'll find me a dutiful student."

"I said no, brat." You grimaced. Ignore it. 

"Is there anything I can do? I won't give up."

"You'll get tired eventually," the man grumbled to himself, turning away.

You only hummed and went to follow him. If there was anything you were familiar with, it was learning from the sidelines. You could make this work.

You weren't sure when the man actually relented. You suspected it was way back in the beginning; he was just testing me, I'm sure of it. It wasn't long from that morning they met that the master had properly introduced himself. It had been just over a month with him now, and those kinds of random tricks were already common. 

His instruction wasn't exactly consistent, nor was he the disciplined trainer you were expecting, but he was undeniably powerful nonetheless. Besides, any proper instruction was a vast upgrade from before. Hatake was also younger than you were expecting. The grey hair made it hard to tell at first, especially with the way his black mask always covered so much of his face, but it was clear once you saw him move. The man was scarily fast, parrying, blocking and slashing back with moves you barely managed to avoid yourself. 

"The day you can best me, I'll send you to Final Selection", he had said. Thinking about that just made you remember that kid. Tengen. "If you make it within the year, I'll be waiting." So obnoxious. You weren't unfamiliar with facing down expectations. Every time something like this came from a man, it was with an air of amusement, like they were waiting for you to fail. This time however, it truly felt like an expectation. Who the hell was he to expect anything from you!? You weren't doing this for him! You'd be damned if you didn't take your very own Nichirin sword and shove it right in that pompous asshole's face!

The first day you finally managed to make Master Hatake dodge, he stopped completely. Despite that, the older warrior didn't hesitate to disarm you and kick you ferociously away when you went for him again. You hit the tree with a grunt. Still, you stood, adjusting the grip on your sword. Hatake nodded, turned and walked away. 

Um, what?

"That's enough for today. We'll resume tomorrow," he said, as if reading your mind. You didn't understand his behavior sometimes. However, when the two of you did face off again the next day, he had already started making things more difficult. 

I'm making progress!

Living in the master's house was far different from what you used to know. You expected that, of course, and it was better than travelling, absolutely. Still, hauling water buckets, the lack of refined wash supplies, cooking for meals instead of having them ready--it was a huge pain.

You were starting to like it. Some of it. It was...what was the word? Domestic. Pleasantly casual. Even with what should have been a strictly distanced relationship, Master Hatake was already feeling more familiar than anyone you knew. He was accommodating as well, making space for you in the limited area. Getting the kind of food you liked, despite it still being much less fancy than you were used to. It wasn't a bad way to live at all. He had criticisms, and advice, but never tried to stop you from doing things your way if it could be done.

”Y/N,” Hatake called one morning. You looked up. “Every day you bother putting that jewelry in your hair and doing it up that way. Why don’t you ever do a simple ponytail. Or cut it?”

You balked. “Cut my hair?! No way!" You held your dark locks close protectively. "I do this because I want to. It’s important to me, I think it looks pretty.” It wasn't nearly as much as you used to do, and you had sold most of your jewelry, save for a comb and two hair sticks.

Master Hatake frowned. Pretty, you could practically hear him scoff. ”And you’re going to keep wearing that nice kimono? What if it gets damaged?”

”Then I’ll have to buy a new one, I suppose. Like I said, it looks nice, and I want to wear what I like.” You turned back to the mirror with a stubborn pout. “Besides, the material is soft and very breathable, so it’s good for not overheating in the summer.” It wasn't like you hadn't gotten other clothes recently. Usually, you would use a proper training uniform, or at least the outfit that was already damaged. But I digress. 

“Hmm…” You hurried to finish your hair while Hatake stared. “That’s not exactly practical…but fine." You never let it get in the way for training, you were always on time. "In that case, I’ll teach you a maneuver that, if you get good at it, nothing will be able to penetrate your defense. Of course, the downside to this is that you can’t possibly attack at the same time. You have to remain steady and unwavering in your stance, there is no room for doubt. Can you do that?”

Your eyes widened. Nothing will be able to hit me? “Yes! Yes, I can do that.”

Master Hatake had been staring for a while. He seemed deep in contemplation.

”Is everything alright Master? Is it something I’m doing?” You paused to wipe the sweat from your brow. The winter was finally starting to melt, but just barely. The chill was still a lovely cooling factor during work. 

”I’m trying to figure out what to teach you next."

Ah, of course. So far, it had been basic swordsmanship, though you had graduated quickly from that. More advanced swordsmanship after, then starting demon slaying techniques. Master had introduced you to something called Stone Breathing, which was certainly interesting. When he had explained that there were several different kinds of breathing techniques, you had pestered him until he finally agreed to let you learn some flame breathing moves as well. For some reason, those had been far more difficult to get the hang of. You practiced until you mastered them, but Hatake had still convinced you to follow the Stone Breathing path thus far. "You’ve been working hard at the Stone Breathing techniques…but they don’t suit you. Tengen told me in his letter than you were fiery and stubborn. I see it. You’re too aggressive for the quiet sturdiness of stone breathing.

"On the other hand," he continued, "flame doesn't suit you either. You're too...docile. Not quite enough of a temperament. Not willing enough to put yourself out there with such drama, that's why you had so much trouble learning it."

Your nose twitched in irritation. You tried not to grit your teeth, it was an unseemly expression. “Is that a problem?” You asked. That wasn't fair. You had been more than "out there" enough when you were younger. It had just gotten...trained away. Pushed into the box of being the perfect daughter. It wasn't your fault you weren't like that anymore! I swear, if another man—if anyone else tries to tell me I’m too-

“Hm, no. We’ll just have to adapt your techniques. It’s not unusual to derive new breathing styles from the basic ones, in fact it’s quite common. Tengen himself has-“

”Ugh, don’t compare me to him.” There was that kid again. 

Hatake stopped. He raised an eyebrow, but didn’t argue. “Well, like I said, you’ll be making your own breathing style. It will be difficult; are you up to the task?”

Now, you grinned. “Of course!” How was that for flashy?!

Master Hatake had brought you both out to the river this morning. The ice had thawed and grass was already growing from the damp earth. "Y/N, I've been thinking about your breathing style, and I want to show you something," he said. 

The water rippled and splashed over banks, and you could feel the spray just touch your feet. It was so pretty out here. Peaceful. You nodded.

"With any other student like you, I would have directed you to the water breathing style as a secondary option. You are laid back, you 'go with the flow', so to speak. However, I definitely wouldn't call you adaptable, Y/N."

You frowned, looking over to him, but didn't say anything yet. He was going somewhere with this, clearly. 

"I started you in the Stone Breathing style because you're stubborn, like that rock." He pointed to a large boulder breaking the stream in two. "Stone and water don't mix well; it's the difference between finding a new path, and staying firmly in your place. Neither does flame, as we've talked about. So how could it be that you resonate with both?"

"...Is that a rhetorical question? Because I don't know the answer. Adverse circumstances?" You shrugged.

Hatake chuckled. "Indeed. You remind me of the carp in this river."

"What?" 

He pointed again. "Look and see. We're lucky this is the right time of year for them. The blossoming spring, when the fish all migrate to find places to birth new life."

Yes, you could see them. Oh, the koi. We had a koi pond back home... 

Master Hatake glanced at you. "You seem to be deep in thought."

"Yeah..." your voice had gone slightly soft, you couldn't help it. "I'm just thinking that they look better here. More energetic, and the moving water reflects the light of their scales so beautifully." If this was how they were supposed to look, you couldn't imagine putting them in those stale, stagnant waters back home again.

"They do, don't they?" He smiled. "Koi have the innate sense to swim upstream, when all other fish chose the easier routes. They live in the water, but refuse to 'go with the flow' if it doesn't suit them. However hard the water pushes back, however far they have to fight, the koi makes its own path, through the obstacles."

"Oh," your eyes widened, a smile starting to curl your lips. "I think I get it." You covered an unladylike snort with a soft giggle. "You want me to be a fish then?"

"Well, I can't make you do anything." Yet the man's eyes glimmered with something that made your heart warm. He turned back to the pond. "Sit with me. We're taking a day to enjoy the world around us."

You frowned. "What? But we could be training!"

The man shot you a weary look. "You need to learn how to take breaks, kid. You're going to miss the beauty this life offers. Besides, it's rejuvenating. A break once in a while is good for you." When he flopped down into the grass, his dull green hanten splayed around him like wings.

You made a small noise; it still didn't sit quite well with you to be relaxing when you had a goal to get to. Still, you sat where he patted the ground beside him. "I've spent my whole life doing nothing important, I think I've relaxed plenty."

Master Hatake threw a chunk of grass at you. You spluttered in surprise. "Didn't you hear me? Relaxing is important. Your mind and body need breaks if they're going to function at their highest capacity. Now, you know the story of the carp, right?”

“Hm? Something about them being able to climb waterfalls right?”

“That’s part of it. Once upon a time, there was a massive waterfall, guarded at the very top by dragons, and what was known as the Dragon’s Gate. A long, long time ago, many fish, including the koi, attempted to swim to this golden gate. However, not only were they faced with the impossible waterfall, but also eagles, bears, and in some stories the spirits themselves mocked the fish for trying so hard.

“Nonetheless, the fish started swimming. One by one, they all decided that climbing the waterfall was too hard, and dropped back down to safety. The waterfall went on and on, far longer than it should have. Then, even the more determined fish started giving up. Eventually, it was only the one carp that kept swimming. The gods watched it, impressed by its determination, even though it had been swimming for so long. Then at last, after a hundred years, the carp finally reached the top of the waterfall.” 

Your eyes widened. “A hundred years? Really?” That’s crazy…but I suppose it’s only a legend. 

“That’s right. The carp was relentless, so after a hundred years it finally reached its goal, and the gods were in awe. So they rewarded it. The carp leapt out of the river as a brilliant golden dragon.”

“Wow, that’s incredible.”

“Yup. A beautiful creature that’s just as tough. That’s why you remind me of it.”

That’s… your lip trembled and you could feel your face get hot. “Really? Both? Aww master-“

Master Hatake waved his hand and turned away, eyebrows drawing together over his mask. “Alright, alright, don’t get all weepy. Just take after the fish, kid.”

You laughed, letting yourself fall back in the soft grass. “You’re such a tsundere.” 

Still, no one had ever seen you like that before.

Hatake dodged to your right, and you followed the swing. Adjusting your grip and with a step forward, you kept her momentum. Part one; relentless attack. 

The man continued to leap back and you kept pushing, forcing him into the trees. You couldn't afford to hesitate, even for a second. He was far too good at taking advantage of that. Still, your attacks weren't going anywhere anymore. The blue glint of the Nichirin sword clashed with the greenery around them. The master wasn't attacking back, only running from you. Dammit!

Letting go of your sword wasn't an option, or you'd have thrown it by now. This was your weakness--he knew that. Perhaps it was a glaring flaw, but your breathing style largely relied on attacks. But if you drew back and Hatake was a real demon, then he could just ignore you and go attack innocent people. 

You're making this such a pain... "Fourth form--Slashing Waves!" With the swipes of your sword against the air, the trees began to shake around you both. One by one, they split and fell, blocking the man's path and boxing him in. What will you do now?

Almost immediately, the man pivoted. His reaction time was still something you could barely keep up with, and only blocked and deflected the blade coming down at your face in the nick of time. Both swordmans' movements became blurs as you parried and blocked, matching Hatake strike for strike. First form--Indominable Will!

"How long can you keep this up?" The grey haired man taunted.

"As long as I have too," you bit out. They had both certainly made sure of that. Practicing this invulnerable defense move had been the most brutal training to boot. You still had some scars, and that small missing chunk of your hair to grow back. 

"Don't get let your guard down!" As he said this, you caught the blur of his foot moving in your peripheral vision. Sneaky bastard! 

With a hard slash down, you used the effect of the move to boost your jump up, spinning in the air above your opponent. "Third form--Cascade!"

Hatake was ready. With an almost disappointed eyebrow raise, he lifted his arm, letting your swords clash again. The momentum of your plummet was enough to shatter the ground, but the man simply looked bored. Except I knew you would do that. You adjusted your angle slightly and suddenly, went flying past his head, somersaulting to a stop behind him. 

Even with his surprise, the master swordsman was quick to turn, but you were faster. "Unknowing Fire!" 

With a single dash, you had closed the distance. Just before the orange blaze of your sword covered his face, you grinned at the way his eyes had widened. 

You hadn't seen him move his sword, but Hatake took the hit like it was nothing. Save for the deep divots his feet had made skidding back in the earth. Before you could advance again, he raised his hand. "Good. Enough."

You wanted to curse. Of course he was stronger than that, he was stringing you along this whole time. Still, you couldn't stop grinning. That was way better than you used to be. Hatake nodded. "You're ready."

there we go! I didn't want to spend too long on the training arc, but I hope this is still good :)

[alittlextrathatway]

"I wish you would come back, wish I never hung up the phone like I did, and I wish you knew that I'll never forget you as long as I live" -any location.

And now for part 2 of the Hockey AU, which you can find here. Time for Sylvie's POV before running into Matt that night.

Location: Molly's

***

The guys have ESPN on at the bar tonight. The current discussion that she's tuning out is about the end of the current NHL seasons and the deals being made for the next season. Hockey talk is not her thing. Not anymore. Not for years.

It's been a rough three years. Honestly, she feels like she's been frozen in time for the last 36 months. When Matt left her world froze. Even when they were still together it was like time refused to move. They never got any closer to being in the same place at the same time. When they ended it, she was shattered. But she assumed eventually, she would feel relieved and move on.

Relief never came.

Instead, she reentered the dating world and began a vicious cycle of casual almost-serious relationships that ended when the guy wanted more from her than she was capable of giving. She wanted to commit, she did. Her whole life she dreamed of having the kind of love her parents did. But none of those guys inspired any sort of spark and certainly not the same kind of spark she had with Matt.

Ugh, there it is again. The reason she can't move forward.

Matt Casey, an NHL player currently playing for the Vegas Golden Knights who was traded three years ago. She hasn't seen him since her last visit to Vegas two and a half years ago, not in person anyway.

She glances down at her phone on the bar top, resting next to her glass of red wine. It's not her first glass, but it should be her last. She knows she's too far gone when she starts debating calling him. It happens every time she's buzzed. She wonders what he's up to. Did he have an easier time moving on than she did? Probably. He probably met a ridiculously sexy puck bunny and built a life of Vegas style excess with her in some mansion near a golf course.

Guilt consumes her. No, that doesn't sound like Matt. He hates excess. His place was always minimalist to the extreme and he spent most of his extra income on other people. Living in Vegas won't change the fabric of who she knows him to be. He's the best person she's ever known, always will be.

Does he know she feels that way? Does he think she hates him? Or maybe he hates her? It wasn't his idea to break up, after all. It was hers.

Maybe she should call him and tell him.

Her hand slides toward the phone, intent on searching out his contact, but she pauses as a cheer goes up all around the bar.

"Fuck, yeah!" Severide exclaims, with his eyes on the television in the corner.

Her brow furrows at him with a silent question. Severide is also a professional hockey player, but for the Blackhawks. She and Matt introduced him to Stella Kidd, a firefighter at Sylvie's firehouse and her best friend, years ago. He's been a regular at Molly's despite not being a firefighter, cop, or doctor ever since. Especially now that he and Kidd are engaged. Kelly and Matt came up in the league together. They were friends long before Sylvie came into Matt's life and, as far as she knows, they're as close as ever.

He winces and then mutters an apology to her, pointing at the ESPN broadcast with his beer bottle. "You might wanna see this."

She turns on her stool to see Matt's solemn face. It's a picture of him on game day, headed into the arena before changing into his uniform. He looks dressed to impressed in an expensive suit, with his hair combed back. When she knew him he kept his hair short, but she has to admit his longer hair looks fluffy and soft and suits him. Her fingers flex and then tighten as she shoves down the urge to touch it.

God, she misses him. An unbearable amount.

After taking in his photo, she reads the headline on the screen.

Chicago's Prodigal Son Returns: Matt Casey traded back to Chicago after three years with Vegas.

Oh. Oh fuck. It seems all her years of wishes are finally paying off.

Matt Casey's coming home.

He won't call her. She knows he won't. Years ago, she asked for space and he's been letting her have it ever since. But, for some reason, as much as she's wanted him to come home she can't bring herself to reach out to him first.

She's afraid he resents her or that he's moved on. For now, she would rather not have the answers to those questions. She couldn't handle it if either answer is yes. At the moment, knowing they'll exist in the same place again is breathtaking enough.

Figuring out what to say when she sees him again is Future Sylvie's problem. Current Sylvie plans on getting drunk and asking Foster for a ride home.

[barkspawn]

I totally understand if this is beyond your purview, but I have a request for a farmer married to Shane, with Shane seeing how well Jas and farmer get along and bringing up if they would want to adopt her? Lots of fuzzy feelings and talk about how far Shane has come, and dealing with his self doubt as a father figure. Thank you whether you’re up for the request or not! <3

You all are making me realize all of the crazy shit I want to write lmao. Of course I'll write this! and probably whatever else y'all ask

I love it a lot actually and I ALMOST made her pregnant too for the drama lmao

Shane sat on the porch watching Amelia and Jas play in the small yard area by the house. Jas was a princess (who also was a knight) and Amelia was some sort of fearsome dragon. He smiled to himself as Amelia dramatically collapsed in her unfortunate death. Jas' giggle echoed through the farm as Amelia pulled the girl down and attacked her with tickles. 

The sound of Jas' laugh filled him with pride as he took a small drink of his sparkling water. 

"Uncle Shane!" Jas ran up, still giggling, "I slayed the mightiest dragon in the land and your kingdom is safe!" He glanced over at Amelia, who gave her best 'dead' face. 

"Why, thank you, my fearless princess," he stood, picking her up and hugging her to him, "how can I ever repay you for saving me?"

She pretended to think, her mischievous smile not well hidden at all, "I will accept your thanks in the form of ice cream."

Shane laughed, kissing the girl's temple before setting her back down. He gave a small wave to Marnie who was heading up the southern path, "I think I can manage that. But when you don't have to go get ready for bed."

She pouted, pushing her lower lip out in protest, "can't I just stay here tonight?"

"Not on a school night, kiddo," he ruffled her hair as Marnie and Amelia approached the porch. Shane crouched and she threw her arms around him in the biggest hug her small frame could muster. With one last kiss to the top of her head, he smiled down at her, "farmer Amelia and I will take you for ice cream on Saturday morning. How does that sound?"

The pout turned into a massive grin as she gave him one more quick hug goodbye before running to hug Amelia, who gave a small bow, "Goodnight, princess."

Once everyone was settled and Marnie and Jas had made their way south, Amelia dusted herself off before inviting herself to sit on her husband's lap, peppering his face with small kisses. She often did this if she saw that he was thinking way too hard about something. 

He chuckled and scrunched his nose up before halting her with a crooked kiss to her lips, her smile never faltering. 

"She had a lot of fun today," Amelia smiled, absently toying with the hair on the back of his neck, "I mean hell, I think being a dragon might be my new favorite hobby."

Shane laughed, nipping along her jawline playfully, "well fine, I'll have to be a dragon too, or else this gets weird fast," he pulled back to look over her face for a long moment, "she loves you a lot, you know. She hasn't taken quite so well to anyone other than me and Marnie since… well, you know."

Amelia smiled and rested her forehead against his, her voice soft, "I love her, Shane. She's a great, brilliant kid. You're her hero though."

Shane laughed, the sound not quite humorous, "after all that shit I put her and Marnie through? I doubt I'm her hero."

She pursed her lips and pulled back to look at him with a stern look, "first of all, dear husband, she told me so," she punctuated the thought with a chaste kiss, "and second, you have gotten so much better and we both know it. You were never even bad, to begin with. You needed a knight- er, dragon," he laughed, bringing her smile back, "to save you. You haven't slipped up at all since you quit, you're seeking the help you need," she playfully flipped her hair, "you married me, and you help run a whole damn farm where we make good money. You are more than worth calling a hero."

He just smiled and pressed his lips to hers once more, groaning in protest as she pulled away and stood, that devilish teasing smirk playing at her lips. 

"I'm going to make us a pizza. Relax for a bit and I'll be out with some snacks."

He shook his head and laughed, leaning his head back when she went inside. 

He'd always had self-doubt issues, and that wouldn't change for a long time and he'd accepted that much. But lately, a thought kept creeping into his head after moments like before. 

He wanted to adopt Jas officially. 

He wanted to be her dad, but that was just it: he had no idea if he would be even remotely good enough as a father. The entire thought process sent him into a spiral of being a bad father and trying to find if Amelia ever got pregnant, would she want that with him?

He started to consider whether he'd be an okay dad more and more recently since Jas had been coming over to hang out and play. She looked up to Amelia for sure and loved her to pieces. If what Amelia said was true, and she thought of him as her hero, it would only solidify that decision. He had no doubt in his mind that Amelia would make an incredible mother, that spark of playfulness she'd always possessed definitely making her good with the kids in town. He spent a decent amount of time imagining his overworked wife very pregnant. 

After a long moment, he stood, tossing his empty seltzer can into the recycling bin. He opened the door and watched for a moment as Amelia was spreading the toppings over the pizza. It was a long moment before she saw him, her face lighting up immediately.

"Well hey, hot stuff," she teased, steadying the pan on a sheet to put in the oven, leaning on the counter on her elbows as she smiled his way. 

"Talking to yourself again, I see," he chuckled, walking to the opposite side of the counter,  taking a breath, "can we talk about something?"

"Uh oh, did I do something wrong?" She searched his face, her frown more of a pout.

Yoba, she was adorable.

He shook his head, brows knit together as he tried to find the courage to continue. It was easily found as she leaned forward and took his hands in hers. 

"I've been thinking recently…" he took a breath, looking at their hands, "about you and me officially adopting Jas."

Amelia gasped, her grin finding its place again over her features as she squeezed his hands, "Shane, that's a great idea. I have no doubt it'd mean the world to her."

A weight seemed to lift off of his shoulders at her approval, though he still frowned as she walked around the counter to wrap her arms around his neck. She scanned his face before giving his hair a little tug from the back of his head. 

"Ow! A, what the f-"

"Stop it."

"Stop what?"

"Stop talking yourself out of it," she moved so her hands held his face, keeping his vision trained on her, "I say this with absolute certainty: you will make a spectacular father. You already do so well with Jas and she'd be thrilled to move in with us and be able to call you her dad."

Shane's features softened as he broke free, turning to press a kiss to her palm. 

"You'd be her adoptive mom too, you know. You are my wife."

Amelia laughed, moving her hands down his neck and over his chest before she fell into a long pause, "we've never talked about if we want kids someday."

Shane frowned, scanning over her face, "for as long as I can remember, I've only ever thought of myself as a failure and a drunk," he rested his head against hers to focus her attention, "but I'm not a drunk anymore. And if I am a failure, I'm just working to do better. Maybe I won't be world's best dad, but I think I'll be proud of our kid every second for simply living their lives," he planted a soft kiss to her lips, pulling back to say, "I'd like to adopt Jas as soon as possible and then we can start the first phase of making our own."

She laughed as he wiggled his eyebrows, nodding slowly, "that's a perfect way to look at it, Shane," she started, brushing her lips over his own, "I like this new, optimistic Shane," she pressed her lips to his once more, the shock and excitement of being parents taking over. She melted into his kiss, his hands finding their way to her waist. His hands were warmer than usual through her shirt. After a moment he pulled her closer against him, his hand moving to the small of her back as he hummed, deepening the kiss. After a long moment, she pulled back, pulling his lower lip with her between her teeth as she did so. A groan of protest escaped his lips as he met her eyes with a pout. 

With a small smile and brush of her nose against his, she teased, "I thought you said after we adopt Jas."

He laughed and slid his hand down to give her ass a playful squeeze, "doesn't mean we can't practice."

[lastweeksshirttonight]

5, 16, 23 :)

5. TV Show of the Year -

Fun fact, I do not watch a whole lot of TV outside of late night and Last Week Tonight, hilariously enough. That being said, there were some really obvious standouts for me:

Taskmaster Season 16. Season 15 was great as well but I cannot, CANNOT say better things about the absolute chaos and sublime beauty of Season 16's cast. I was truly rooting for Julian all the way into the end of that series, and more than other series of the show, I genuinely had no idea what I was going to see next.

In that vein, Taskmaster New Zealand S1. Guy Williams plucking a violin string for what must have been 30 straight seconds while Paul's eyes dart around like he's in The Office is a Top 3 All-Time Greatest Taskmaster Moment.

Shiny Happy People. I watch a lot of documentary series when I watch TV - I like to learn things. Shiny Happy People stands above and beyond as the most horrifying, disturbing documentary show I've ever seen. Learning just how deep the rot goes in the Quiverfull movement and how the Duggar family encapsulates a particularly virulent strain of backwards thinking that's threatening to destroy the country through its political power was very enlightening to me.

I currently just started Poker Face, which 100% will probably land on my best list if it keeps up the energy of the first episode. Natasha Lyonne is an absolute treasure.

16. Post a picture from the beginning of the year

In keeping with everyone never seeing photos of me:

23. If you could send a message to yourself back on the first day of the year, what would it be?

I'll be honest - this year is going to be rough. You're going to be put on medication for your anxiety and you're going to hate that you didn't do it sooner. You're going to have a nervous breakdown at work that changes your entire approach to life. You're going to get sober from alcohol and it's going to suck at first. Your car is going to have some issue with it for about 10 months of the year. Work is going to run you into the ground and you're going to feel hopeless about it.

But there's going to be so much joy in this year between the darkness. You're going to have a Taskmaster-themed birthday party that your friends and family adore. You're going to keep at this silly blog and find so many things to share with the world, and make even more new friends. You'll get closure on some things you never expected to have closed. You're going to be four months sober by the end of the year. Your partner is going to not only remain your rock, but truly show himself to be the love of your life. You're going to fly across the country during a hurricane watch to see John Oliver for the first time in ten years!

So keep your chin up. Also fix your windshield wipers.

[bloodyraremedium]

Hello! I have seen you comparing the songs (mostly to how Mike is), could you go into a more detailed analysis of the last two, please?

aw yiss okay!!! i mainly think of them in animatic form so it was a bit hard to transfer that into writing but here we go!!! a bit of it needs theories to work but. oh well

so moonsickness i think works best for around ffps time. mainly cause of the lyrics There's so much to do/I'll never have the wherewithal to do it all again/Or fucking do it all at all and I've got one hundred hours to rearrange the stars

i think that works even better if you think that mike and henry worked together on ffps, and it really shows how much mike is just tired. Also with the amount of planning it must've took to get all the scraps and prepare for the end

lyrics like I am such a fuck up/If you only knew that I am such a fuck up and I'm the worst mistake that God has ever made are just like. general mike hating himself and thinking of himself like a monster etc etc, but if you wanna go deeper with the religious imagery of Henry and William you could really call either of them "God" depending on how you want it.

the repeating of The beast refuses to die is about springtrap/scraptrap "i always come back" stuff that mike is probably fucking sick of at this point.

Blood clots and death cramps would be good for michael getting scooped, while Blood clots and death camps could be a combo of william getting springlocked and the mci being led to their death unknowingly

Aztec circles of the death of all deaths/Concentric circles of torture wheels could defo be about william's remnant research and how it runs on suffering.

And in your blood you know what's right/And in your bones you know what wrong could play off the fact that mike no longer has blood or most of his bones lol, and how he's kinda morally grey for most of the story.

And you know nobody belongs in this hell/And there is not a single choice left to make would be mike knowing how it feels to be alive when you shouldn't, and that him and henry know there's only really one way to end it

I can't get the numbers right, I can't fucking count/Because not one goddamned thing is in its place would be how everyone including him, should be dead and buried and at peace. Or even alive and healthy and thriving.

Fucking up your definitions even though it's life or death/Who fuckin' told you you were selfish or even self-interested? is how the way william raised him sometimes make him question if maybe he's in the wrong somehow, the murders were justified etc etc

And it's not all you, man, you were just a kid once - how mike knows that his father had a terrible childhood too and at some point will was just a little kid like he was.

Everybody knows this place is dying, as am I/I might not get another chance/It's such a careful dance could be the difficulty of surviving the night, but mike knows they're just kids.

so for Feel Better. this would be super willry and charlie heavy. i like just thought of this so bear with me on this... it would also work with/without robo charlie (the whole thing is a little bit of a stretch but idgaf)

The book sits on top of clean and messy blankets/On a bed that fuckin' creaks at night when I get in it late and Or I'm a healthy baby-girl who traded sunshine for disease could be henry's depression and self-isolation after charlie's death and how he spends most of his time inside his house

I'm a communist, a terrorist, an MPDG thot/I'm a socialist, Marxist, libertarian slut/I'm a nihilist, a soldier, an OCD-machine could be a couple different things, but what I like most is Henry getting blamed for the MCI because of how suspicious he seems, and the town making up stories about him.

I guess I loved you, I guess I really loved you/All my filthy life I loved someone I barely knew is how henry didn't really actually know william, he just knew the mask he always put on. This is also assuming Henry knows abt the murders at this point.

and we were all a train-wreck/And also somehow making it/I think I might've died there twice and I would do it all again is henry having good memories of when the restaurant first opened, and things were good.

I don't wanna get over it, I wanna rip the stars to shreds and I could tell I had a heart/And I wanna tear this fascist Milky Way apart would be henry's decision to start ffps and put everyone out of their misery

pretty much all of verse three is just henry being Sad and Reminiscing

Or I'm just really fuckin' selfish and really fuckin' lost would work great if you go the Robo Charlie route, since that was kinda a... not good thing to do.

I had my cake (I ate it, it ate me too and, God, no) is pretty much what the metaphor already means. He let William get close to him and paid the price for it.

And then all of the choruses are a combo of him being sad about Charlie's death and the "death" of the will he thought he knew. very sappy sad stuff

is this even coherent? i wrote half of this at like midnight,,,

[1dont-really-know]

Feat: Malva Draconia and other one-off characters that I'll probably never use again

Tags: @kitwasnothere @kdjmybeloved

This is self indulgent as heck and probably not my best writing but it's Malva's birthday and I can do what I want

Word count : 6509 (longest I've ever written voluntarily in english)

⊹｡₊°⟡.⸙͎۪۫ ༄

There are paws on your face. Paws with sharp claws that are currently kneading your face. Paws that you were pretty sure you locked out of your bedroom last night. You groan, gently grabbing the bundle of fur that was using your cheeks as a scratching post and lifting them away from you. The bundle of fur meowed in reply, and as you opened your eyes, you’re met with a pair of amber ones, staring directly into your soul. “Lysander.” Another meow. The tabby had the audacity to sound annoyed. You set him down on the bed, sighing deeply as you rub the sleep away from your eyes. Lysander continues to paw at you, meowing loudly with that adorable but incredibly high-pitched meow of his. A quick glance at the window confirms that the sun is low on the sky, silently sinking down as dusk takes hold of the horizon. Lysander, apparently very annoyed at your lack of activity, unsheathed his claws before bapping you on the arm. You wince, moving your arm away from the violent beast, “alright, alright, I’m getting up.”

Lysander meows again, sounding smug.

You make your way to your kitchen, Lysander at your heels with his tail held high. The key to the top cabinet is stuffed in a jar, so you quickly retrieve it before unlocking the cabinet and getting the ingredients for yours and your kitten’s meals. You’re running out of basil. It’s too early to buy more but by the time your store closes the market will be mostly closed as well. Ah, well. Looks like you’ll just have to make do without it for a few days. You’ll be able to restock on other cooking ingredients then as well.

Lysander chomps down on the meat you prepared for him while you munch on your own food, still very much trying to get your bearings after being so rudely awakened. It's not much, you know, but it's enough to get you through the day.

With your bellies filled, it’s time to get downstairs and take stock. It’s been a while since you opened this bookstore of yours. Perhaps forty-ish to fifty years. At first, it was signed under your parents’ names, but they had transferred the ownership to you ever since you became of age. It was your idea, after all, and your parents had only wanted to give you a leg up on your childhood dream. Most might think your job was monotonous, but you’ve always found the structure and sorting part of it soothing. You walk around your store, taking note of the books on the shelves and comparing them to the notes you had of what’s supposed to be there. There are some books that weren’t where they were supposed to be. Some clients must have mistakenly put them there. You return them to their rightful places. This has been your day-to-day for these last forty years. Have breakfast, feed your pet (Lysander being your latest, but you’ve also had a few dogs and other cats before), make sure everything is alright with your shop, and man the desk until sunrise.

Today is no different. Just as always, once the sun dips down below the horizon and you have all of the books in the store accounted for, it’s time to open up.

The first customer is a teacher that you know works at a nearby school, Yarron, who was looking for a simple children’s storybook to keep the children entertained while also teaching them how to read. “I’d prefer if the pages had an anti-tear spell on them. You know how kids can be,” he said, with a fond yet exasperated smile. You recall that he had visited your store a few times before, similarly looking for children’s books.

“Of course,” you laugh. The children of the village, though few, have a known mischievous streak that all the adults have at least once been a victim of. Just because they have not learned many spells does not mean that they don’t use the ones they do know to their fullest extent. The paint staining your front door is proof of that enough. “The children’s books are on the third shelf on the right. Go ahead and take a look, and I’ll get that spell there on whichever one you choose.”

Yarron nods with a smile and leaves to browse the shelves, Nell comes in. She’s the town’s resident herbalist, the closest thing your town has had to a healer since the last one retired. She’s looking for a recipe book, and you point her to the correct shelf.

The night goes normally from there.

It’s nearing midnight when the bell once again chimes as another person enters the store. You chirp out your usual greeting, still preoccupied by a customer currently checking out, when you notice that you have yet to see this stranger even once since you started your shop. With how small and out of the way the town is, you assume that they’re a traveler passing through.

The stranger is a tall one, with a slender, feminine build and piercing green eyes. They’re wearing what seems to be a blue uniform– a healer’s uniform, you soon realize, with a hood around their shoulders and hiding their face from sight. They turn to you once they notice you’re there, and you can see the slightest ripple of magic on their features. A glamour? Why would they need to use one if they’re a healer?

Apparently your staring was a tad too obvious, because the stranger clears their throat and meets your gaze questioningly– warily, almost. You hadn’t even realized that your other customer had finished their transaction and left the money on your counter, leaving you alone with the green-eyed stranger. 

“I didn't mean to stare,” your ears feel hot from embarrassment, but you suppressed the urge to curl up into a ball and manage to keep a steady voice, “but I don’t think I have seen you around here before. May I know who you are?”

You fully expected the stranger to stay silent, or otherwise just go look at your wares without giving you much thought, but instead, they nod and start speaking, their voice a gentle lull in the quietness of the room, “I believe you would have already heard of my mentor, Areca,” they start, “I’m a healer– or, well, an apprentice healer, you see. I’ve been traveling for my studies and I’m looking for a book on the flora around this area, if you have any.”

You feel your shoulders relax ever so slightly. There had indeed been talk of a healer visiting lately. It wasn’t uncommon (or at least you heard that it wasn’t uncommon, according to your town’s late resident healer. The last healer that passed through here had both arrived and left when you were still a child) for healers to take their apprentices out to the farther-out towns and villages of Briar Kingdom to get them some on-hand experience. This must be the apprentice in question.

But just to be sure,

“Yes, of course!” You give them your best grin, walking out from behind the counter and gesturing for them to follow you. They do so, keeping a safe distance away while still being in your line of sight. “Our herbology books are right over here. For the flora in our little corner of the kingdom, I recommend this one.” You point to a leatherbound book about as thick as your fist. It has a very lengthy and detailed way of describing the plants, but they seem to be the type of person that would enjoy that.

They give you a nod, perhaps in thanks, then take your place in front of the shelves and got to browsing.

Being this close to them, you see the signature single line bands on either side of their uniform, near their wrists, clearly, along with the slight warmth of healing magic coming from said bands. The healers’ odd idea of identification, as you’ve been told by the healer that stopped by your town about 50 years ago.

With your worries soothed, you turned and walked back to your counter, settling on finding something to pass the time while your customer decides on what to buy.

⊹｡₊°⟡.⸙͎۪۫ ༄

It’s been a few weeks since that day. The green-eyed stranger, Miss Malva, you’re soon told, quickly becomes a regular of yours. It turns out that she’s not much older than you, and had started to train to become a healer around the time you first opened your shop. She’s nice. A bit stubborn, but ultimately very invested and passionate in her work. That’s good, you think, even though you still find her regular use of glamours weird. It’s always good for a healer to be passionate. Even now as she’s having a very serious discussion with Nell about the effects of ginger and whether or not it could actually strengthen immune systems. Right at your counter. You’ve finished their respective transactions at least 30 minutes ago.

What’s worse is that the sun’s rising.

It’s grocery day.

Inwardly, you sigh. Miss Malva’s insight on the various herbs had been interesting to listen to, yet just as you thought that thought, the resident beloved herbalist of your town that never shuts up had to come to ruin that.

“There are countless sources that claim so, dear healer, but I have yet to see its effects for myself.”

Miss Malva chews on her bottom lip, deep in thought. You have the strangest feeling that if she had a tail, it would be swaying in concentration. Still, with her experience with actually using them on a day to day basis, you’re sure that she’d know the answer. “Ginger is a very widely-used herb. I doubt that so many sources from so many locations could state something to be true when it's not, but…”

Really?

“Exactly, what I am saying. Ginger doesn't grow around these parts. We need proof. If you could just do a few experiments, since, you know, you're only an apprentice.” Nell nods sagely, as if she had just said something wise. You side-eye her. She pretends not to notice. Or maybe she really didn’t notice. Who’s to say at this point.

With a sigh, Miss Malva nods. “I’ll look into it. It’s going to take a while, though, since I’ll have to ask Areca for permission and…”

Does she even have enough time in the day to do that? Doesn’t healer training make her busy enough as is? Miss Malva seems more concerned about having to ask her mentor than she is about her schedule.

You clap your hands together and smile. Both Miss Malva and Nell jump, apparently having forgotten you were there too. “Glad that’s settled with. Here are your books.” You say, nudging their paid-for books towards them. You’ll be honest and say that you hadn’t meant for it to sound so snappy, but you were tired, damnit. You just want to go to bed and cuddle with Lysander.

Speaking of, that cat is currently lounging on one of the top shelves, licking his paw and glancing at you with the corner of his eye with a look that practically said, ‘you’re taking too long’. You suspect he’s sulking since Miss Malva stopped petting him once Nell arrived.

Nell quickly grabs her book and excuses herself. Meanwhile, Miss Malva lingers just for a moment longer, her smile sheepish as she picks up her own book and takes a quick glance at the rising sun through the window. “Sorry,” she said, tucking her book in her satchel, “I got a bit carried away. I’ll see you soon, then?”

You huff out a laugh. “If the rate you keep reading through the books you buy is any indication, yes, I’ll see you very soon.”

She laughs and nods, satisfied, and walks out the door, leaving you alone in your store-

“Meow.”

No, not alone. Lysander is still there, of course, lazily stretching atop the shelf and watching you.

“What is it now?” You can’t keep your weariness out of your voice anymore, your shoulders slumping slightly as you make your way over to the shelf Lysander is on. He meows again. “Can’t get down?” Another meow. You sigh, “how did you even get up there in the first place…”

After summoning a stepladder, you quickly climb on and open your arms. Lysander, the smart little kitty he is, immediately jumps into them, digging his claws into your shoulder as your footing slips due to his added weight. Thankfully, you manage to catch yourself, swiftly stepping back onto the flat floor with your darling cat in your arms. “There we go-” he’s not letting go. You frown, trying once again to put him down on the ground. Nope. He’s still clinging to you.

Welp.

You end up carrying him around the store as you close up.

Thankfully, as you finish closing, Lysander jumps out of your grasp, landing gracefully on his feet and padding away. You breathe a sigh of relief. At least this way you won’t have to carry him while you go out. With all the windows closed, you step into the early dawn light and lock your door behind you.

The walk around the town is pleasant, all things considered. Sure, the sun is annoyingly bright as always, but you enjoy the song that the birds and crickets sing to welcome the morning. You see some townspeople that are still awake here and there, either just finishing up their own jobs or having come home from an errand. You smile and nod at them, and they do the same. You can only hope that in your rush, you didn’t accidentally pass by the various shopkeepers whose wares you were planning to buy today.

The butcher’s shop is still open when you get there. You buy a few good cuts of meat for yourself and Lysander.

The local gardener, Nell’s son, sells you the spices and vegetables you need for the week, though he’s unfortunately all out of thyme. He also tells you about the person who had bought the last of the thyme and how apparently they started asking him about how to grow them.

You also need to buy some eggs and bread and…

By the time you finish, all the shops in the town have closed except the local tavern. It’s not noon yet, but still early enough to be considered morning. Deciding that you probably wouldn’t be able to muster enough energy (read: too lazy) to cook dinner, your steps carry you to the entrance of the establishment, your grocery still in your arms.

As soon as you enter, however, someone calls your name. Following the voice, you find Miss Malva on a table by herself, a few books (were those the books she bought just today? Even the sappy romance novel that she- no, wait, she pulled it under the table. Huh) opened all around the table and a glass of… something, next to her. It’s definitely not alcohol, if the smell is anything to go by. She gives you a smile and waves you over, and despite your hesitance, you find yourself walking towards her and taking a seat across from her.

In an attempt to break the ice, you chirp; “I didn’t think I'd ever see you somewhere that’s not my bookstore or Miss Areca’s clinic, Miss Malva.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever really seen you outside of your store, either,” she quips, curiosity hidden under a thin layer of amusement. It makes you smile a little in return. “And just ‘Malva’ is fine. I’m not much of a fan of formalities.”

“I’m the only one who really runs the store. My parents used to help when I was younger, but they decided that it’s my responsibility now that I’m an adult and since the bookstore was my idea.” You say as you set your groceries down beside your chair. Briefly, the thought of how in the world she would have enough time to research ginger when she even has to study while she’s in a tavern crosses your mind again.

“Really?” Mis- Malva tilts her head to the side slightly, “What is it like, running a bookstore?”

Not really knowing how to answer her in a way that makes it sound interesting for anyone but yourself, you shrug, “you know, just keep the store clean, restock the shelves every once in a while, interact with the customers and handle the counter, give recommendations if customers ask for it, stuff like that. The organizing part is the most fun.” Along with getting to talk to people about the books, of course.

Malva hums her understanding, taking another sip of her drink. Her whole body is turned towards you, and you can tell that she’d been listening pretty intently the entire time. It’s nice, you think, to have someone so genuinely interested in hearing what you have to say.

“What about you?”

“Hmm?”

The question had escaped your mouth before you could stop it. You blame it on the exhaustion, but you can’t lie to yourself and deny that you’re at least a little bit curious about the healer’s apprentice. “Your whole thing as a healer. What’s it like?”

It takes a moment for Malva to reply, but when she does, you find yourself listening just as earnestly as she had when you spoke, “it’s a lot of memorizing for one,” she glances down at her cup, then back up at you again with an easy smile, “it’s important to remember it all since every single plant has its own use, and it could end disastrously if you use the wrong plant on the wrong ailment.” She seems to cringe slightly at that, but nevertheless continued, “There’s also various potions, and they all have their own recipes as well. But at this point in my training, I’m learning how to make use of the raw herbs.”

“You must know a lot of plants, then?” You ask, leaning your chin on your hand, your interest piqued, “do you have a favorite? I’d imagine you’ve studied loads of interesting plants.”

By the way her eyes light up at your question, you think you’ve said the right thing.

“As in, plant in general or a specific plant?”

“Specific. What do you like about the plant?”

“Okay, so there’s this flower called the gardenia. It’s pale in color, usually white, and it’s mainly used as houseplants but it can be made into calming potions-”

⊹｡₊°⟡.⸙͎۪۫ ༄

The seasons pass, just like they always did. Autumn made way to winter, which then made way to spring, which then faded into summer. And like them, you went about your days just like you always have. Season after season, year after year.

It was the end of the week, so your store is closed early for the day. You take the remaining time until sunrise to take a walk around the edges of the town, enjoying the cool summer night breeze against your skin. You didn’t have a destination in mind, just the curiosity to explore a bit more of the forest that surrounded your hometown.

You find her there, crouched over a shrub, a notepad in one hand and a pencil in the other. Your weekly tavern meet-up isn’t for another overmorrow, so it suffices to say that her appearance is unexpected. Malva seems to be far too occupied with whatever plant it is that she’s studying to notice you. You ponder briefly on whether or not you should approach her. She should be nearing the end of her apprenticeship soon, so whatever it is she’s working on has a high possibility of having ties to that, but your curiosity won over in the end.

“Malva?”

She perks up as soon as she hears you say her name. “Oh, it’s just you,” she sighs, visibly relieved, “I thought Areca had come to drag me back home again.”

You can’t help but laugh at that, but a part of you cling to that one word. Home. Has Malva grown to see this place as home, just as you do? Does this mean she’s going to stay here after she graduates and becomes a full healer? The thought sent a strange emotion into your heart. Still, you crouch down next to her, glancing over to see the shrub she was looking at. It was a cluster of small purple flowers. You were unfamiliar with its name, but you remember her telling you about a plant like it, once. Was it hyacinths? Cosmos?

Thankfully, Malva takes pity on you. “These are evergreen lupines,” she said, brushing her knuckles over the delicate petals, “they’re used to get rid of parasites, but they’re toxic to cattle. Bovines, specifically.”

“Am I interrupting your studies?”

“Not really. I was just finishing up,” it takes her a moment to put her notepad and pencil back into her bag, but then she turns to you, eyeing you curiously and giving you her full attention, just like she always does, “did you need something?”

You shake your head. “No. I was just taking a walk and happened to see you.”

Malva huffs a laugh, “what, am I that eye-catching that you saw me even when I’m wearing all black in the darkest time of the night?” 

You pause, taking an extra second to look at her. It turns out that, yes, she was wearing all black. You don’t know how or why you didn’t notice that earlier. Nevertheless, you shoot her a playful smile in return, “something like that, yes.”

It felt oddly natural, saying that. You offer her your hand, “would you like to walk with me?”

She takes your hand with a smile that feels incredibly, indescribably warm, “I’d love to.”

⊹｡₊°⟡.⸙͎۪۫ ༄

Alright. Bluebells, white camellias, white chrysanthemums, moonflowers, and mallows. According to the book about flower symbolism you read, these were the best thing you could put together that would look visually appealing when paired with the gardenias Malva’s so fond of, plus the mallows since you thought it would be cute to include her namesake in the bouquet.

You take a nice, deep breath, calming yourself. As autumn comes to an end, the winds have gotten colder, hence the need for the warming spell that enveloped you as you sat on your front porch. Your courtship with Malva has gone well so far, but with the end of her apprenticeship so quickly approaching, you didn’t have much time left to confess to her. Even so, you’ll be damned if you don’t do your absolute best to make it count. The planning for the bouquet is done, and now you just need to buy the flowers. Then you need a good spot to confess. Your house, maybe? No, that would be weird. The middle of town? But she’s too private of a person to enjoy that.

Lysander purrs as he lays in your lap, undisturbed by your mumbling nor by how aggressively you’re petting him and basking in the warmth of the spell. Perhaps his age is catching up to him. You’ve had him for, what, more than a decade, now? You have noticed that he’s slowly been less and less energetic over the course of the last few years.

Shaking your head, you remind yourself of the matter at hand. Lysander still has a few years left in him. You need this confession to be perfect. It has to be perfect. Maybe you could learn a flashy spell to impress her? Something? Anything?

Your orange fluffball wiggles out of your grasp. “Wha- Lysander!”

Too late.

He slinks off before you could stop him. You curse under your breath, getting up to chase after him.

Despite being old, Lysander was quick, running along the town paths with abandon. There were points where you had to follow his footprints after he successfully shook you off to find him again. Thankfully, you finally saw what it is that caught his attention. A tiny gray mouse was running away from him, its squeaks terrified as it tried to get away from the menacing predator that was your cat.

You weave through the streets, making one turn then another, dodging people and objects, almost slipping on the icy roads when they make a sharp turn into an alley, having to slow down to keep yourself from doing so. A victorious, “Mrrp!” comes from Lysander, with him having stopped running and his tail held high. He caught the mouse. You didn’t need to see it to know; the metallic smell of blood has already filled your nostrils. You sigh.

Lysander brings the fresh prey to you, dropping it at your feet and looking up at you expectantly. You take the opportunity to scoop him up into your arms and hold him tight enough so that he wouldn't be able to escape. Now you just need to go home.

You use the footprints you left in the snow to guide you back until you’re back at paths that you’re more familiar with. It’s still pretty dark out, so there are people out who’s going about their night. Lysander wiggles in your arms, meowing loudly and demanding to be let down, catching the attention of some people. You give them an apologetic smile. But. He. Just. Keeps. Meowing. You quietly hiss, trying to get him to shut up. Eventually, he does.

But that’s when you hear your name be said.

Then again.

“I’m going to, I swear! I’m just trying to find a good way to do it!”

Was that Malva? You turn your head towards the source of the sound, only to find that you’re right in front of Miss Areca’s clinic. The patch of ginger from Malva’s experiments was still there in the front yard.

“You better!” you heard another voice say; Miss Areca’s voice. She said your name again, “-deserves to know, alright? I know you don’t want people to only approach you because of your status, but-”

Lysander mews. You glance at him, then at the building, then back at him again. “Just be quiet, okay?”

Another mew.

You sneak towards the sound, careful to pass under the windows and keep your footsteps light as you make your way towards where the sound is clearest; an open… window. You hear Malva’s voice again.

“I don’t want to scare-” your name sounds melodious in her voice, but you could also sense her hesitation. You frown.

“You’re not gonna scare-” your name, in Miss Areca’s voice, “-I’m sure of it.”

“But-!”

Miss Areca hushes her. A beat of silence passes, then another, then another…

The uncertainty is suffocating.

You lift your head up to peek inside, and immediately, your eyes lock with Malva’s forest green ones. Something in her face ripples and-

Her glamour’s gone. Her pupils are slitted like a reptile’s. There are a pair of large obsidian horns on her head. And the magic that surrounds her; that’s no longer disguised and contained by her glamours…

One word makes itself at home in the forefront of your mind.

Draconia.

Huh. So that’s what she’s been hiding.

You give her an uncertain, wobbly smile. It’s odd, you think. You thought you’ve mentally prepared yourself for whatever it is that her glamour hides, but now.

Now…

You hear your name being said again. Malva’s walking towards the window- towards you. Strangely enough, it looks like there’s multiple of her. There's-

Lysander shrieks in surprise, and your vision goes black.

⊹｡₊°⟡.⸙͎۪۫ ༄

When you come to, you find yourself in a cot that's not yours, in a room that smells strongly of disinfectant. Miss Areca’s there, holding Lysander in her arms, and behind her is Malva.

She still has those horns. It wasn't a dream.

It wasn't a dream? Really? All this time, Malva was hiding her horns? Her eyes? Was she really a Draconia or were you just losing it at this point-

Miss Areca pats Malva’s shoulder with her free hand, whispering something to her, which she then nods to, before the healer leaves her apprentice alone with you.

Malva, for her part, seems just as lost as you feel, wringing her hands together and her tail (you didn't notice that before. She had a tail. A very dark purple tail with a lighter purple underside. Huh) twitching in what you can only assume is anxiety.

You feel like you have more of a right to feel anxious than she does, in this particular situation, but still.

She sighs, taking a seat next to your cot. Despite her nervousness, she still looks you straight in the eyes, just as she always does. A part of you is relieved. At least this is still the same.

“So, as you can very obviously see,” Malva starts gesturing to her horns, “I might've… misguided you, on what kind of fae I am.”

“That's an understatement.”

Malva winces slightly at your words. You hadn't meant to say it in that tone, but it's too late to change it now. Still, she continues, “yes, well. I should tell you now, then. The truth.” She straightens her posture, her hands placed neatly in her lap. She looks every but as regal as a royal should be. “I am Malva Draconia, daughter of Maleficia Draconia and second Princess of the Land of Briar. It's a- pleasure to meet you.”

You didn't miss the way her voice falters ever so slightly in her last sentence.

But, well. You've read about scenes like this before, haven't you?

“But you're still Malva, right?”

Malva seems genuinely surprised at your question, but nods, albeit hesitantly. “Of course I am,” she says, confused, “I’ve always been myself.”

You nod. “Then the version of you that I’ve known is you? The real you?”

She seems to be catching on at this point, because her answer becomes more certain. More… her. “Yes. It's always been me. Besides the horns and tail, I haven't hidden anything else from you, and I don't plan to.”

She looks set on something. Like she's going to do whatever possible to achieve it. You remember seeing that look on her face back when she regularly studied in the tavern, with you there to keep her company.

“Then I still love you.”

“I see. Well, if you ever change your mind-”

Malva freezes, and so do you. Something changed in her eyes, the previous determination replaced with hope and the slightest hint of surprise. You feel like burying yourself in a hole.

“You love me?”

There's little you could do but nod, hiding your face in your hands to hide from the embarrassment. You said it. You said it to her in the clinic. You said it to her without your bouquet, without any real preparation, without-

Malva laughs. A sweet, soft, fond sound, like a bell that chimes in the wind. “And here I thought- nevermind.” You hear her shifting closer to you, and then a hand gently cups your chin, tilting your head up in a silent request to meet her gaze, and who are you to deny her?

You'll never forget the words that came out of her mouth at that moment, nor the warm smile she gives you. If anyone asks in the future, you’d tell them that the things she said would put poets to shame, when in reality, all she said was:

“I love you too,”

Your name has never sounded sweeter.

⊹｡₊°⟡.⸙͎۪۫ ༄

At the end of the day, Malva’s still a healer.

The end of her apprenticeship came and went, and with it, Malva’s time at your town. There was a small celebration, a small goodbye party, and then… then she's gone. Gone to pursue her passions and dreams.

You find yourself being happy for her. How can you not? It's all she's ever worked for. Even if it meant not being able to spend much time with her. Besides, she still visits whenever she has the time.

Still though, you find yourself missing her quite a lot, and a lot of the time on top of that. She's started sending letters almost every day when you told her as such.

The last letter she sent is still open on your desk, received a little more than a week ago. You don't know how many times you've read it by now. The quick scrawl of her handwriting, the little swoops of her L's and the scratchy way she dots her I’s. It brings you comfort, especially in this uncertain time, what with the threat of war looming over your heads.

She's a princess, you insist to yourself, she has to be involved with these types of things, even if she's a healer now as well.

It only heightens your anxiety.

You shake your head, taking deep breaths to calm yourself. She's strong. She can handle herself. She was a Draconia for crying out loud.

Yet still…

You grab a pen and paper, and you start translating your thoughts into words.

Surprisingly enough, the reply to your letter arrives the very next day. It's… odd, you think, considering that usually only happens when Malva is on her way either to or from the town, but there's no denying that it's her handwriting on the envelope.

To my beloved, it read.

If it was anything dangerous, you're sure she would've contacted you a different way, you tell yourself. You retreat back into your home and close the door.

It took a bit of effort to open the envelope, what with the charms and protective spells Malva puts on them, but you manage, just like you always do, without ripping or tearing the letter itself. Safely in the comfort of your home, sitting on a chair next to your desk, you start to read.

To my beloved,

You didn't know why she always felt the need to include that twice, but you weren't complaining.

It has been a while since I've had the time to meet you last, hasn't it? I'm sorry. I wish I could've spared the time, but so many things are happening all at once. My duties as a princess and as a healer pull me in different directions, but I assure you that I’ll be alright, and I’ll meet you soon enough.

Soon enough… and how soon is that, you wonder. A month? Two? You didn't know. You didn't know if Malva knew either.

Until then, would you indulge me in something, love?

A request?

Take a walk near the forest for me. Pass by the evergreen lupines, to the spot you and I used to frequent. The place we used to watch the stars together.

Oh, and don't finish reading this letter before you do. Read it while you walk there, if you wish, but remember to always stay alert of your surroundings.

Just who did she think she was talking to? You huff, putting on a jacket before going outside. The autumn leaves crunch under your feet as you walk. You keep reading.

It has been a pleasure knowing you all this time, you know. I still remember the first day we met. You had eyed me like I was some sort of suspicious criminal-

You smile, reminiscing. You didn't think she was a criminal, back then, but the way she was acting was suspicious.

Still, I kept coming to your store again and again. I will admit to you now that it was not always a book I was looking for, but simply some time to talk with you. Your insight has always been incredibly valuable to me, and I truly cherish it, whether you realize it or not.

You pass by the evergreen lupines, still vibrant and purple, but no longer the flowers you first saw with Malva. A different patch entirely, at this point. That was to be expected. It had been years, after all.

I had always suspected that I'd get attached to someone of the town, but never could I have thought that it would be you-

Rude.

and never could I have suspected that I would have grown to love you so deeply, either. But I do.

You pause. All around you, small floating green flames burst to life. You don't feel afraid– more confused, than anything. The magic is familiar. It's Malva’s. You follow the wisps and keep reading.

I adore you, do you know that? It might seem silly or cliche to say it, and maybe I got more than a bit influenced by the novels I've read (with no small amount of them coming from you), but I genuinely feel so. You're incredibly precious to me, and I can't imagine a life without you in it.

There are thousands upon thousands of things I could liken you to. A spring bloom, a dewdrop at the beginning of dawn, the stars… but none of it could ever truly be compared to you.

She's waiting for you, you realize. Malva was waiting for you at the spot, a bouquet in her hand, wearing a floor length dress. She smiles when she sees you. You've known her long enough to see the signs of her nervousness, from the tension on her shoulders to the way her tail twitches back and forth. Still, she holds herself gracefully, taking your free hand into hers and placing a kiss on the back of it. You hear her giggle to herself softly at the gesture, and you smile in return.

“Hello, love.”

“What's all this?”

She smiles at you, in that sweet and soft way she does when she knows you’ll like a surprise she has given you. As if the flowers carefully and meticulously all around you is not enough of a surprise already.

“You haven't read it to the end, have you?” Malva laughs, her eyes filled with a fond amusement.

You narrow your eyes at her in return, “you explicitly told me not to read it till the end until I'm here in the letter.”

Malva gestures towards the said letter loosely, her eyes never leaving your face, “well, you're here now. Go ahead.”

You want so desperately to wipe that amused look off of her face, yet still, you continue to read. Though you don't really need to, since Malva puts it upon herself to say what was on the letter anyway.

“My star, my earth, my heart. These years of being with you; of having my heart in your hands and with yours in mine, have been the best I’ve ever known. I know the future might be uncertain, what with everything going on, but know that my choice will forever be the same. So I ask you now:”

She drops to one knee, pulling out a small velvet box and opening it to reveal a ring inside.

“Will you do me the honors of marrying me?”

[dreamwatch]

Writers 20 questions tag game!!

Thank you to @devondespresso for the tag. The last time I did this I think I had barely written anything and had nothing up on AO3 so this is exciting to do again.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

11 and growing!

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

18,891

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Stranger Things. Steddie. Just Steddie. Because of the Steddie of it all. I wouldn't be opposed to branching out to some Edancy though.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

I'm A Bad Boy For Breaking Her Heart; California I'm Coming Home; I Can Love You Better Than Him; I Tell You Folks, It's Harder Than It Looks; Only The Horses Can Bring Us Back Home

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes! Now granted I have a couple outstanding to reply to from last week, but yes always because it genuinely amazes me that people take the time to do that. ❤️

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Hmm... published I would say Brothers Keeper and/or Fight To Be Free, but they are wee ficlets and depends on your definition of angst I guess. Even thinking of my angstiest WIPs I'm not sure any of them have anything really sucky planned for the end. I'm all about the angst/pain/suffering and then a nice cup of cocoa and a cuddle for the final chapter.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

California I'm Coming Home. I think most of the published fics are pretty happy endings, but I think this one is the most fairytale almost. It's kind of an Oprah ending - Wayne gets a happy ending, and Eddie gets a happy ending, and Steve gets a happy ending! 😂

8. Do you get hate on fics?

So far no. Hopefully never.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

*clutches rosary beads* Nope. I honestly can't imagine ever being able to write smut, I suspect its the deeply ingrained Catholic guilt. But never say never!

10. Do you write crossovers?

No.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I fucking hope not. Do you know how long it takes me to write this shit? I've been writing one fic since the beginning of 2023 and it's still not finished!!! 😂

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, not as far as I'm aware.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No... I like the theory of it, it sounds like it could be fun, but at the same time I don't understand the mechanics of it and I could see it ending in tears.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Gosh, this is har-- STEDDIE! IT'S STEDDIE!!!

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?

All of them? Positive thoughts, positive thoughts. I have snippets and pieces for three fics that I'm not sure will ever get finished; one was being referred to as Eddie and Dustin Do Hookers and Blow (it really wasn't like that, I promise!) - basically miserable Eddie suffering in a shitty apartment in the city and Dustin rocking up and being all 'I've had no life experiences, my friends are all living their best life, I don't want to go to college - take me out for a wild night!'. Hilarity ensues etc. Likely will never get finished and I'll probably strip it for parts.

The other one was Eddie and Steve reconnect in the 90s. Eddie toured the country in his van for years, depressed and traumatised (hi, if you're a new reader I like to write Eddie as depressed and traumatised. All. Of. The. Time. You're welcome). He eventually settles down, becomes a nurse (Nurse Eddie truther!) and runs into Steve. Hilarity ensues. Or, they fall in love anyway. But yeah, realistically never getting finished.

The last one was an aftermath/recovery fic. I have about 7k words for this. This was my first stab at fanfic in about 15 years and it shows! I bit off more than I could chew and was taking it in too many directions. As it stands it will never be finished but there is a nugget of a story in there that I still want to tell. It's mostly medical whump before the loving and romance. Might just stay as a little mind movie for myself to re-run over and over.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Uhh... I think I have good ideas, and I like to take ideas and flip them. For example - Steve has bad parents. Well, what if they're nice? Um. Can't really think of anything else.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

What's the max word count for a post on Tumblr? Lol, joking. Run on sentences, like ruuuuuuuuuuuun on. Too many commas. Too many elipses. I am way too slow because I read too much fic so nothing gets finished. I cannot write connecting action for shit. I can give you dialogue. I can give you internal monologues for days. I cannot connect the two. Annoys the shit out of me. Also I can be super light on description sometimes, and I think it's because I write for myself that I forget other people need to see what I can see! Also giving my fics stupidly long titles which is really annoying when you have to keep them typing them out.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I don't think I would be comfortable doing it because I know I would get it wrong. Sometimes it really throws me in a fic and I have to run off to google translate or scoot up and down to the authors notes to decipher whats being said. Which is fine if its a one off but I've read whole conversations like that in fics and nope. Back button is calling my name. Tricky to pull off well I think.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

The A Team. I was shit and nothing got published and we should all be very pleased about that.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

Oooh, tricky. California I'm Coming Home and Only The Horses. Oh and I Can Love You Better Than Him I think. I love the idea of Eddie being rescued by Steve. Not going to count the WIPs because they would trump everything! I love them!

Crikey that was fun! As always, no pressure tags -

@cchapsticck @occasionaloverboy @thisapplepielife @loudsnapdragon @hitlikehammers @postmodernau @soaringornithopter @lingeringmirth @devilyouwere

[romeythehomie]

20 Questions for Fic Authors

my buddy parker @amrv-5 tagged me in this and i Do love talking about myself slash my writing so. here we go babey! more questions under the read-more :)

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

17 in all, plus some that that i wrote in high school, orphaned, and probably could find again but simply have no desire to.

2. What is your AO3 wordcount?

99,759.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

those which are recently (~past five years) i have published for M*A*S*H, resident evil, saw, breaking bad, and the MCU

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

alright this is where we get into anonymized fic territory -- much of these were written when i was in very late high school/early college and are representative of that in both quality and tone. i'll still link them but...you know, that's what we're getting into!

you've arrived at last, my friend, 309 kudos

carrying the weight together, 218 kudos

losing me at your fingertips, 179 kudos

my tired eyes are blind, 147 kudos

i take my cue from you, 143 kudos

5. Do you respond to comments?

i try to but feel bad just saying "thanks :D" five hundred times over so more often only if i have something of substance to reply

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

honestly i am not good at undeniably angsty endings; a lot of my MCU stuff had a running theme of "nothing every really gets better" but also was heavy on the comfort parts of hurt/comfort. recency bias aside, i'm inclined to say snapshot of a morning, 1954 is up there for the absolute lack of resolution for BJ's ennui and borderline anhedonia

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

probably kotenok, arguably the cutest. it's "bucky gets a cat: the fic!"

8. Do you get hate on fics?

nope!

9. Do you write smut? If so, which kind?

ah....yes and no? i'll write sex scenes in a work, but not so much porn for porn's sake. i have a google doc of some indulgent paragraphs that i've written in the dead of night but those are for my eyes alone

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest crossover you’ve ever written?

nope

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

no

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

no

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

also no

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

i think the one that i'll always come back no matter the time in between is, admittedly, steve/bucky MCU. rewired my brain and i think is just a part of me forever now!

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

god. i have this whole contrived resident evil AU that i write for as the mood strikes me but the gist is "leon is unwillingly transferred to the BSAA after the events of RE6 because it's not great governmental optics for your best agent to seemingly go rogue and kill the president"

16. What are your writing strengths?

i like my prose! I have what i know is a very consistent writing style and tone

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

i'm far better with it in original fiction, funnily enough, but when it comes to fic i tend to loiter and meander SO much. this scene only needs to be a few hundred words to move things along? you're getting quadruple that and none of it will ultimately contribute anything to the plot. i LOOOVE to be verbose. read my words boy

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

i do it in english, for however much sense that makes -- if it's from the speaker's pov or that of someone who understands the second language, i'll use something like:

"Here's a sentence in a different language!" Character exclaimed in, unexpectedly, an enthusiastic ramble of Non-English Language.

if the POV character doesn't understand the second language, i'll just use a "Character said something in Non-English language, far beyond the comprehension of POV character, and the conversation had moved well on by the time POV character could ask."

i quite frankly have never once used any end-notes "translation guide," i think it's greatly counter-intuitive to a reading experience, and especially so for any non-latin scripts. sorry but it just doesn't work for me! for little foreign words, especially nouns, which cannot be directly translated, i'd use the native word and then define it best possible in the work then keep the ball rolling

19. First fandom you wrote for?

um. god. do i have to admit it? do i really? it was dan and phil RPF. yeah like the british yewchubers

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

i have this really soft spot for my jane/jesse breaking bad fic surrender (my everything). that's romance, baby!!

thank you so much for the ask parker this was lots of fun to think about when i haven't touched a lot of fic writing in so long! i'll tag uhh @thebrandywine and @doomednarrative if either of you feel so inclined!

[aerodaltonimperial]

The best friends being possibly taken out from the tag team battle royal by the ass boys and the firm, danhausen would want revenge, hooks feuding with the firm and stokely, if only there was some way they could team up due to having mutual interests 🧐🧐🧐

It's 7:15 AM, so bear with me: yes, anon, if only there was some way.

The Ass Boys officially slotting in with the Firm last night was the last piece needed to complete this weird bridge we've been building the past month. Right now, the Venn diagram of the Best Friends, the Firm, the Acclaimed, and JJ/Lethal is a series of overlapping circles. The only outlier is Hook. The entire diagram, with the exception of the Best Friends, are facing off against each other in Revolution. Given the time they've used to build this up the way it is, I would be disappointed (but perhaps not surprised) if the last tag team in that 4-team Revolution match up was someone unrelated. Which gives us really only three options:

1) The Best Friends earn their spot in the match at the Casino Battle Royale, which they already should have gotten after this week and the rampant cheating. Also, they should just be in it because they deserve a run at the belts. And also because I love them. Likelihood? I don't know. The BF are "non-serious" wrestlers, and we know how those names rarely get to win.

2) Orangehausen: the teased BF split has never materialized; neither has the Evilhausen reappearance that should, by all rights, have happened a few weeks ago following all those obvious head bumps. OC and Danhausen have been together for a lot of these past few weeks, even when the BF were suspiciously absent. We could see them coming in if the BF are indeed taken out through nefarious means.

3) Hookhausen reunion: Hook is the outlier in this mess, and also, possibly, the dead center (depending on how you draw it). Hook is currently stable-less and partnerless, with literally no one in his corner. We have watched Danhausen steadily increase his mentions of Hook in the past 2 months, to the point where we have finally got a canon connection on TV. It's weird, actually, that they are currently circling each other so closely but have yet to actually collide. Their story lines are pretty much stacked on top of each other. Danhausen is also the only person not to be scheduled for something next Wednesday. I had my bets on a Hookhausen reunion beginning of April (Long Island), but I would be happy to be wrong. This is largely the only option to fully pull Hook into the diagram, rather than leaving him as a strange question mark at the sides (JB, at this point, should probably be considered to have left the storyline with the return of Cage). Also, given the way next week's match is set up, it would be dumb (but not impossible, we have seen) not to have something substantial happen with the fact that Hook will face ringside antics with no one to back him up: the perfect opportunity.

I'll add the caveat that while all of these make the most sense LOGICALLY, nothing ever seems to play out the way I think it will, so we may in fact have another month to wait for a Hookhausen reunion while, say, Top Flight wins the Royale and goes into the Revolution match LOL. I mean. Narratively it would be so unfulfilling!!! But this is wrestling. They may not care. 🤣

[lady-lycany]

Aight, this post is gonna be longer again, so grab your popcorn🍿 lol. Maybe you can relate or had similar experiences. I would love to know, dear fellow therians and otherkin... Did you ever open up about your animal side(s) and if so, to whom? And what is the most "animal" thing you ever did with someone?

...

Sometimes, I still think about the time, where my animalside and my human side finally found together. I mean, I always pretended to be an animal, no matter what age, but the werewolf thing completley broke out around the time we moved, so back in 2012. And it's so sad to me, how I spend the last years of my life, trying to get rid of it (well, I obviously failed), cuz my last friends I opened up about it, told me that it's childish behavior and weird. And since I didn't know anything about the Otherkin/Theriantroph community, I believed their words and stopped mentioning or showing it to them. But the last years really showed me, that it has nothing to do with "being childish" or just "pretending".

Sure, the more you focus on it, the more symptoms you'll notice. But it never really left me, ever. Back then, in our old apartment, we had heaters that had the hight of my knees and I remember, how often I placed my hands on it just to feel both of my "paws" touching the "ground". Walking back and fourth, keepin one front paw up in the air, staring at the moon, smelling the breeze of the night.... Playing with Mia in canine body language, having the urge to go to the forest in the middle of the night, ect. I could list up so many more things. It wasn't a priority in my life anymore, but something was clearly missing.

My ex bestie didn't noticed much about that side of me, simply cuz I knew that she wouldn't understand it. I tried it once in the beginning of our friendship, where I took her to the forest and was like "cmon let's pretend we're were-animals in an enchanted forest" but I noticed quick that she didn't really get along with that stuff so I gave up, also, my first best friend (my ex bestie is the second one), I had after we moved here, was the one who told me that it's childish and that was the reason of why I ended the friendship with her. After all the trust, where I opened up about it, I felt so misunderstood. And don't get me wrong, I'm hurt, that she called it just childish behavior, but then again, I can thank no one more on this planet for special memories, than her.

In my worst lifetime, she gave me memories, that I'll never ever will forget. And that became more important to me than her misunderstanding. (we didn't really see each other for 6 years, but now she's a friend of mine again) She might didn't understand me, but she always did therian things with me, cuz she knew how important it was to me. I was able to be open about my invisible ears and tail, we howled our souls out on the top of a mountain, had funfights in the snow, ran through the forest at night with celtic music blasting through a tiny music box, scaring away the crows, running on the top of the hill on all fours through the grass without shoes in a blood moon night..... I think y'all can imagine, what a big treasure these memories are to me. I'll probably never have these type of moments in my life ever again...

My current bestie is a sweetheart. She knows about my werewolf being and also plays along with her being the "bunny" cuz it's really fitting to us, the wolf and the rabbit (she even had a dream about being one, not too long ago) But I also know, that she has a hard time taking it really serious. She always really tries not to judge anyone for anything, but I know that there are things, that even she's not too cool with. Furries for example. I can talk with her about everything. But living it out in front of her? Can't imagine this to be possible. Cuz I know, she would be weirded out by it, even if she wouldn't say anything about it. And that's cool. I'm fine with that. I got used to it that "normal" people can't really understand.

I mean, at least I have finally found my people on the internet, who know exactly what I'm talking about and that it's way more than just childish behavior. I still can't thank you guys enough for just being here and being yourself and open about the animal inside of you. and that we can talk about similar experiences. Thank You ❤

[gregorygerwitz]

“I don’t like that look. What happened?”

For troubleshooter and troubleshootee

hi I love this dynamic I'm so glad we talked about this

Jay leaned against the counter between them, choosing to stay quiet while he waited for Mouse to notice his presence. In reality, he probably already had, but the last thing Jay wanted to do was surprise him and make him jumpy in the middle of the day. That might throw him off for the rest of the week, and then where would they be?

But he didn't have to wait long, not when he received a glance and a dismissive wave - to most people, it would be seen as being told to go away, but Jay had known his best friend enough to know his quirks and idiosyncrasies. That wave meant come in, and he was one of the only people who knew how to translate it. There were maybe three people in the world who knew what gesture meant, and two of them were in that room.

And that was fine. He was more than happy to translate the odd things for everyone else as needed. It kept things running smoothly, and it wasn't like he didn't have plenty of practice. The thing that wasn't fine was the frown, the expression that he didn't know how to read only because the person who made it generally didn't know what it meant, either. Unless he was wrong, for once, which wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing.

"I don't like that look." Settling into one of the wheeled chairs, Jay shook his head and willed himself to relax. Tension didn't help things. He just needed to ask the right questions, not worry over things he couldn't fix yet. "What happened?"

Mouse let out a grunt instead of an actual response, pacing around the small space as if he was looking for something. Whether it was something in the boxes of tech or some unknown answer to the universe, Jay couldn't tell, but they'd get there.

"That's fine, I won't make you talk." Jay never understood it, but that almost made it easier. Words could be misconstrued too easily, make every answer wrong, confuse them before they got to one at all. The quiet was easier - nodding for yes, shaking a head for no, a few basic signs they'd both picked up over the years when they needed to be more specific. It worked, and he wasn't going to stop doing something that worked. "I'll just go through the list, okay? Just yes or no. Did you eat lunch?"

He got a nod, even if Mouse was still pacing, and that was a relief. With so much going on upstairs, Jay hadn't been able to make it down, only hearing whispers about a sandwich run from Kim and Roman when he passed through on his way down to the garage. "That's good. So, you're not hungry. Have you had anything to drink today?"

Another nod, a gesture toward the empty can and the mug on the desk at his elbow. The energy drink probably wasn't exactly hydrating, but the tea was a good sign. And there was water in the fridge by his knees, if they needed to come back to that point.

"I know it's probably stupid to ask because none of us ever do, but did you sleep okay last night? Full eight hours?"

Mouse stopped pacing to look at him, his expression pointed and easy to read - that was a no, but that was to be expected. Jay couldn't remember the last time he'd gotten a full night's rest, either.

"Yeah, we'll come back to that one. It's okay." But that was the end of the list, off the top of his head. That was every basic human need he could come up with without pulling the longer list of questions up on his phone. But basic human needs weren't the only things that sent Mouse into this kind of spin - stress could do it, or anyone raising their voice to much, or being dismissed... Maybe Roman had been rude while dropping off lunch, or something. Jay wouldn't have put it past him. And there was an unorthodox fix to that kind of thing.

"Do you need to sit down?"

Mouse blinked at him, as if thinking over the question, like he hadn't even considered that. He'd been up on his feet since Jay walked into the room, at least, maybe a side effect of the stress but certainly not something that helped it. And there were more memories than he could count of both of them settled on the floor, seated on the thin carpet of their first apartments, doing nothing but enjoying each other's quiet company.

"Not in a chair, I mean. When's the last time you just... sat on the floor? I've noticed that helps."

Blinking again, Mouse hesitated before lowering himself to the ground. He stayed quiet while he settled there, in the middle of the floor, and processed the new position and the new sensations that came with it. He didn't look unhappy, his frown even disappeared, and that was a good thing.

"Did that help this time?"

A nod.

"Good. I'll come join you. Today's been exhausting."

[ dialogue prompts ]