#i had such a long day at work and this made me so happy

[lowkeyerror]

Just Hold Me

Rio Vidal x Reader

Word Count: 1k

Notes: Fluff x 100, comfort x 1 million, very soft

Summary: You had a rough day and Rio wants to comfort you, but she wonders if she's doing enough.

An: The yearly fluff I post after Christmas. Soft as a bunny's tail.

Masterlist

Love was such a strange thing. Tangled up in emotions like hurt, betrayal, and longing, but also bathed in happiness, care, and optimism. It was complex enough with normal people, but you had fallen for Death itself.

Loving Rio was like loving a hurricane. It was wild and even if some things were predictable, you couldn’t always prepare for what was to come. Having a trail of destruction behind her was a part of her job.

It was something she only found shame in when she was with you. She didn’t want you to think that of her. The truth being, that you never could. It was what had drawn you to her in the first place. Death didn’t scare you, not at all. Falling into her embrace felt like destiny. You’d tell her, but Rio was never one for fate, she said if anything it was an omen.

She was so scared of the consequences when it came to being with you. She tried to go against her urges, but you were patient. In her mind you’d forget her and move on with someone more suitable, but you never did. You knew what you wanted and it was her.

There would never be anyone to come close.

Rio was a good girlfriend. She was affectionate, and as attentive as she could be. There were still some things that she was uncertain about when it came to her emotions. After all she had only learned them from her limited experience in other relationships and observing others. She had seen a lot, but that didn’t mean she understood it all.

So when she appeared in your home to find your curled up on the couch, hidden by a blanket, she simply tilted her head to the side before approaching you.

“Love?”

You heard her voice, but felt like you couldn’t move or speak. Instead you let out a soft hum in response. It caught Rio off guard, she was still assessing the situation, but it wasn’t looking good.

She stepped into your point of view, crouching so that she could meet your eyes. She was taken aback by the sadness in them. The bags under your eyes were dark and heavy. Rio pouted seeing the red hues scattered in them.

She reaches out cautiously to hold your face in her hands. Her touch was warm, it made you briefly close your eyes.

“What happened?” Rio’s voice was soft, as if she was scared of pushing.

However you weren’t like the lovers of her past. You wouldn’t push her away, so you took a deep breath trying to muster up your voice.

“Hold me,” you managed to murmur.

Rio was quick to shed her work clothes and create more comfortable attire for the sake of both of you. You briefly sat up on the couch, only enough for the Green Witch to slip behind you. Once she was behind you, you tugged her arm over your body. You held it in place keeping her hold on you tight.

Rio places a delicate kiss on the back of your neck, “I'm not going anywhere."

For a while you stay in that position silently. Neither of you break through the quiet. Rio thinks she’s eventually going to hear your breathing level but it doesn’t.

“Long day,” you mumble against her hand.

“I think I know something about those,” Rio threaded her fingers through yours.

You let out a small laugh, “I bet you do.”

You feel the time shift again. You turn to face Rio who scans over your features again.

“Is there something I can do?”

You see the worry in her eyes and it makes your heart swell. The smallest furrow in her brow, the usual mischief in her eyes is gone, her tone is missing the teasing edge.

“Just this,” you bury your head in the crease of her neck.

You inhale deeply, her scent always grounds you. That specific scent of earth freshly hit with rain. You could get lost in her aroma, it almost makes you feel like you’re outside. You can feel her skin cooling, which only submerges you deeper into the fantasy.

Now both of her hands hold you. She kisses the top of your head. Rio is still uncertain about it she should be doing more for you. This didn't feel like enough. She wanted to destroy whatever it was that made your day so hard. Seeing you in this state was tugging at her heart strings.

She began to trace patterns into your back. You didn't mind, you like having her hands on you, being this close together. It helped you feel safe.

“Are you sure it’s enough,” Rio whispers, insecurities gnawing at her.

You pull back just enough to look at her, “Rio Vidal you’ll always be enough for me.”

Your words knocked the wind right out of her, she felt her face getting warm under your gaze, but she wasn’t trying to hide it from you.

“I’d do anything for you, you know that? Legal or illegal. If I need to go fuck up your boss I will. If I need to pop your annoying coworkers tire, I will. If you needed me to hunt down a Karen I-"

“I know,” you cut her off.

“All of the above?” Rio wriggles her eyebrows playfully.

You move to sit up and she sits beside you.

You rub a hand over your face, “Work was fine, I guess. A few difficult customers, but nothing out of the ordinary. I don’t really know why, but today just felt harder to get through than other days. Nothings wrong, I just feel a little… down.”

Rio listen intently as you speak. When you finish she nods slowly, “I think I know what you need.”

“You do?”

Rio nods with a little more certainty, “Let me cook for us. We’ll order some snacks and pop in a movie. We can keep cuddling too. And tomorrow, I think you should call out. We’ll spend the whole day together, I know all the best parks for walks. How does that sound?”

You let out a sigh of relief, “That sounds perfect. I love you.”

Rio places a gentle kiss on your lips, “I love you too.”

Rio reluctantly begins to stand, but you pull her back down, “Just hold me a bit longer?”

She lays her back flat on the couch and pulls you on top of her, stealing another peck.

“Always.”

[heavyhitterheaux]

Santa Tell Me

See Me Through You Series

Synopsis: It's your first time celebrating Christmas with Joe as a couple as your first semester at LSU comes to an end. The two of you celebrate in your own little way seeing as Joe is going back home while you are headed to New Orleans. However, you confide in your best friend about your hesitations about getting into another relationship so quickly and hoping that what feels like a fairy tale isn't too good to be true

Pairing: Boyfriend!Joe Burrow x Girlfriend!Reader

Series Masterlist

Please Do Not Repost My Content Anywhere

The timer went off once again letting you know that all of the cookies were now officially done baking. As you were taking them out of the oven and placing them on the cooling rack, Erin attempted to grab one to eat it when you quickly slapped her hand away resulting in her letting out a yelp followed by her glaring at you.

“Ow!”

“Those are specifically for Joey so we can decorate them once he gets here. I literally just made you an entire cheesecake.”

“But I want a cookie, too!” Erin exclaimed, but you weren't budging.

“No and he should be here soon.”

As you sat at the table in your small kitchen, Erin sat across from you and had begun eating her cheesecake when you suddenly asked her a question which caught her off guard.

“Erin, what if me and Joe break up? And that cheesecake was not meant for it to be eaten in one sitting.” You casually asked as you unlocked your phone to play one of the many games that you had installed.

“Huh? What in the world are you even talking about? And I'll just ask for another one.” She asked as she put her fork down to look at you.

“What if we break up and we don't work out? I literally just hopped from one relationship to another and…”

“Stop. Just stop. I have on my Christmas sweater and I am eating my Christmas treats you made me and we are listening to Justin Bieber's Under the Mistletoe and you are fucking the vibe up.”

“But…”

“No, we are not doing this. You two haven't been together very long, but Joe literally worships the ground you walk on. The way he even looks at you is insane. That boy is IN LOVE.” Erin said as she now opened the freezer to take out the ice cream you thought you were discreetly hiding from her, but it looks as though you efforts had failed.

“But what if it's too good to be true? Sometimes It doesn't even feel real.”

“You literally have no idea of what happiness looks like even if it hits you in the face. He has been after you basically the entire semester and now that he finally has you and you have him, you think that the two of you are going to end up breaking up? Make it make sense, babe.”

“Everything started out too good to be true with Trevor and look what happened with that.”

“Uh no, boo. Trevor had been an asshole from the beginning, it just took you forever and a day to notice. Everyone else saw it but you. You’ve been treated like shit for so long that your ass is literally blinded to how good you actually have it. I mean Joe hit me up a few weeks ago to help him pick out your Christmas gift or gifts I should say.”

“Wait, he did what?”

“Oops. I wasn’t supposed to say anything so let’s just pretend I didn’t. But they're really pretty and I know that you’re going to like it.”

“I just… he’s really important to me and I just want this to work out between us.”

“And it will. I literally started planning the wedding the day you two met because I saw the way you lit up when you talked about him. It’s going to work out and I will be the first person to say ���I told you so’ when you are walking down the aisle.”

“I’m holding you to that seeing as it’s still pretty early to be singing about wedding bells.”

“But for now, it’s December, we almost made it through our first semester as college students, you have a very cute boyfriend who wants to spend every waking moment of the day with you so you need to make the most of it.”

“You’re right, I do need to make the most of it seeing as it’ll be a few weeks where we won’t see each other since he’s going back home.”

“And his birthday is coming up too. So, my vote is to have Christmas early with the two of you. Hopefully by doing this you won’t miss him so much on the actual day since the two of you kind of already celebrated in your own way.”

“I mean, I did get us matching Christmas pajamas to decorate our cookies, drink hot chocolate, and watch cheesy Hallmark movies.”

“See? Perfect. And I know that he is going to love every minute of it. But for now, I am going to go study for one of my many finals and hope and pray that the words on the pages in the textbooks somehow transfer themselves to my brain. Let me know how everything goes.” Erin told you as she wrapped up her cheesecake and placed it in a plastic bag hoping none of the filling would get on the seats in her car.

“Me saying ‘I told you so’ is going to hit so hard in a few years. But….” She was cut off mid-sentence as there was a knock on the door.

“And look at that, there he is. Let's go see your future husband.”

You couldn't help but to laugh and shake your head at Erin as she was gathering all of her things, while you went to go and answer the door. Once you did, you were met with your boyfriend carrying a shitload of different bags and him leaning down to kiss you.

“Okay, you two! Spare my eyes, I'm leaving so Joe can turn you every way but loose without me having to see it.”

“Bye, Erin.” Was all you said as she continued to smile at the both of you.

“Hi Joe, Bye Joe.” She told him as he fully walked into your apartment as she was headed out the door.

“Bye Erin.”

Once the two of you were by yourselves, you immediately started questioning Joe about the many bags he brought.

“Uh, babe? Are you moving in and didn't tell me yet?” You asked and he let out a laugh before starting to open some of them and pull out their contents.

“I just bought a bunch of different things we could do. It's almost finals week and I wanted to spend as much time with you as possible. And you have literally been playing this album since the day after Halloween.”

“Aww, I love it. Okay so tell me what you bought. And what about it!?” You asked as he had set everything down and motioned for you to sit down on the couch so he could show you.

“So my chess set. Ever since I taught you how to play, you said that you were going to try and beat me before the semester was over and never mind that I even said anything. Low key convinced that you're going to break up with me and get with Justin.”

“Very true but athletes are my thing, not singers.”

“My telescope since you love learning about space as much as I do. And I guess that means I'm safe?”

“I am loving this so far and yes, babe. You're safe.” You told him as you placed the chess set on the table.

“Madden. Since I know if you were able to be on the field with us, you would be. But I mean I can't sing all that well, but if you want me to serenade you just say the word.”

“Good point and seriously?” You replied while laughing.

“And I think that's it for now. I could only carry so much. But you'll be the one hitting high notes with how good I'm making you feel.” He told you as he shrugged while you gave him a small smile while also shaking your head at him.

“It's absolutely perfect and I have something for you too. I'm ignoring that last part.”

“What is it? Before the night is over, I'm making it happen.” Joe said as you ran into your bedroom to find the bag that they were in before coming back out into the living room.

“Matching Christmas pajamas.”

“Oh, so we're that type of couple now?” Joe teased as you rolled your eyes.

“Yes, and this is literally going to happen starting from this year until forever.” You replied as Joe moved closer towards you and put his finger underneath your chin in order for you to be able to look up at him.

“Forever? I like the sound of that.” He quietly said while leaning down to kiss you.

“But for now, we also have cookies to decorate that I baked and hot chocolate to drink.”

“Let’s do it.”

The two of you got comfortable in your pajamas before starting to decorate the cookies and you were multitasking with making the hot chocolate at the same time.

Joe was concentrating hard when you decided to peek over and take a look at what he was doing.

“Joey, I thought you were making a Santa cookie?” You asked while a little bit confused on what you were actually looking at.

“I am! This looks like Santa! I just need to do his beard.”

“And his hat.” You added noticing that was missing also.

“Not everyone can be an amazing baker in their spare time like you.”

“Hmm, you're right, but it doesn't look bad. If I opened my own bakery, I might hire you. I do happen to be a woman of many talents. So, someone mentioned to me that you got my Christmas gift already?”

Joe stopped decorating his cookie to look at you with a blank stare.

“No. I'm not telling you what it is and I am never telling Erin anything else ever again.”

“But babe!”

“No. Final answer.” Joe replied as you rolled your eyes at him which then led to him pinching your cheek.

“Fix your face. I want it to be a surprise and I don't plan on spoiling it for you.”

“Well I got you a gift for your birthday as well as Christmas. It didn't feel right combining both of them together.”

“And unlike my girlfriend, I'm going to be patient and wait.”

“You mean to tell me that you aren't the least bit curious about what I got you?” You asked him and you could tell he was thinking about his answer before he said it.

“Nope.”

“Liar. I know that you definitely want to know. But I'll just say I know that both of them are something that you're really going to love.” You told him as you reached up to kiss him.

“As much as I love you?”

“No, but knowing you it might come close.” You told him as you were now putting the final touches on the hot chocolate you made for the two of you and handed him his mug.

“And like I said, I'll be patient unlike some other people.”

“I'm ignoring you. Anyway, break out the telescope since it's clear tonight and we'll be able to see something.”

Once Joe had gotten the telescope set up by the window, you were just finishing your hot chocolate and went to place your mug in the dishwasher before going back into the living room and seeing Joe with a bashful smile across his face.

“Why are you smiling at me like that?” You asked while wrapping your arms around him and Joe leaned down to place a kiss on your forehead before responding to you.

“I'm about to show you. Stand in front of me and look through it. Don't adjust anything.” He said as he slowly turned you around so that you would be facing it.

You did as you were told and noticed that it was focused on one single star.

“I see it, babe. What's so special about it?” You asked as you turned back to look at him and he simply handed you an envelope.

“It's the star that I got named after us.”

Your eyes went wide and a smile broke out on your face as you took out the contents of the envelope and it simply said Y/N and Joey's Star at the top.

Underneath was a map detailing where you would be able to find it.

“So no matter where we are, whether together or apart. We can be able to look at it at the same time. This isn't a part of your Christmas gifts by the way, I just wanted to do it since I figured you would like it.” He shyly told you as the smile became wider on your face. You didn't say anything, but simply wrapped your arms around him once again.

“This was… no… this is definitely the sweetest thing that anyone has ever done for me. I honestly wouldn't have even been upset if this did end up being my Christmas gift. I love it and I love you which you already knew, but I figured that I would tell you anyway.” You quietly told him as he leaned down to place several kisses on your lips.

“And I love you. Remember earlier how you mentioned that matching pajamas are going to be a thing for us forever?” Joe asked and you gave him a swift nod.

“Mm hmm, what about it?”

“This is also going to be something that we have forever. Any time we get in a disagreement or we're not seeing eye to eye with each other, we need to remember that we're in this together for the long run. And looking up at the star can remind us of that. I know we haven't been together for very long, but I want this with you and I've been saying from day one how I'm going to treat you how you deserve to be treated.” Joe confessed and the smile on your face couldn't help but to get bigger.

“I'm going to hold you to that Burrow.”

“How about you hold me to this too? Look up for me?”

As you looked up, you saw that Joe was holding a mistletoe above the both of you.

“Any excuse to get more kisses from me, huh?” You playfully asked him and was met with a smirk.

“I mean, I've been getting kisses from the moment I got here, but this is just a plus.” He told you as he leaned down and you reached up to meet him halfway.

“And there will be many more where that came from.”

“Santa definitely did his big one this year.”

“How so?”

“I get to spend it with someone who I know cares about me just as much as I care about them. That's literally all I asked for.”

[mysteryshoptls]

SSR Jade Leech - Room Relaxation Vignette

"Happy Birthday"

[Mostro Lounge]

Jade: …I see. I've grasped the information you've just brought me. I shall inform Azul about it immediately.

Jamil: Seriously. Why'd I have to be the one stuck coming all the way to the Mostro Lounge to deliver the Headmage's message?

Jade: Heh, my sincerest apologies. I'm afraid our esteemed manager likes to scold us if we are on our phones during work.

Jamil: And what's that manager of yours doing, anyway? If I could've just been able to get in contact with him, I wouldn't have had to come all the way here.

Jade: He is conducting business in the VIP Room. I'm sure he's turned off his phone so as to not be rude to his guest.

Jade: Although, I suppose it's a shame. I rather would have had you come tomorrow instead of today, Jamil-san.

Jamil: Tomorrow? Is there something going on tomorrow? …No, nevermind. Forget I asked.

Jade: ACTUALLY, YOU SEE! It is our birthday tomorrow.

Jamil: Whew. I was a little worried as to what it could've been… But yeah, I guess it is your guys' birthday tomorrow.

Jamil: Good thing I came today, then.

Jamil: Who knows what'd you two'd be bugging me about if I actually came on the day of.

Jade: I would never bug you… I would have been content with a simple birthday greeting.

Jamil: Yeah, sure. Though I'm pretty sure your brother wouldn't let me slide with just a few words.

Jamil: Maybe I should prepare something ahead of time before things get dicey… Alright then, I'll be heading back now.

Jamil: Thanks for passing on the message to Azul. And… Have a good birthday.

Jade: Of course, thank you very much.

Jade: We look forward to serving you again. Please return home safely.

Jade: Phew, it seems all the customers have finally left. Today was yet another successfully busy day.

Jade: Now then, everyone, I leave cleaning of the lounge to you all. I'll go take stock of inventory…

[Octavinelle Student A appears]

Jade: Oh? I'm pretty sure your duty station was in the kitchen was it not? You should be starting to close everything down, why are you here in the lounge?

Jade: Floyd should be in the kitchen today, as well. Don't come to me if you've made him ang... [Octavinelle Student A speaks] Eh? Floyd got bored and left?

Jade: Well then, I suppose I'll head towards the kitchen. I'll leave it to all of you to finish cleaning the lounge.

[Octavinelle Dorm – Jade's Room]

[Floyd speaks]

Jade: Ah, Floyd. Because you left as you did, the kitchen was in such disarray.

[Floyd speaks]

Jade: …Oh my, you saw through me immediately.

Jade: Everyone finished their tasks quite efficiently after I kindly spoke with them.

[Floyd speaks]

Jade: Heh, it seems I'll be able to take my time to enjoy my little hobbies today. I'll have to be quick with my shower.

Jade: Now…

Jade: What should I start with tonight?

[Octavinelle Dorm – Jade's Room]

Jade: First, I'll check up on my terrariums… Ah no, the moss is starting to dry out.

Jade: I should water it well. I'll pour some water into the spray bottle, and…

[spray, spray]

Jade: …This looks fine enough. The moss is looking good and moist.

Jade: It looks almost completely different from when it was dried up… Fufu, I don't think I could ever get tired of observing moss like this.

Jade: …......

Jade: …AH, WH-WHAT'S THIS!?

Jade: The rock that I had been carefully observing for so long… It's covered in some green substance that I'm sure wasn't there this morning!

Jade: This color, this shape…!! It looks very similar to what I saw on page 487 of my Moss Encyclopedia.

[slams book open]

Jade: "When dry, the fronds become as spindly as thread; when moist, they take on a unique appearance."

Jade: "This moss is exceedingly rare, and as such the exact location and environment most suitable for growth is not well known."

Jade: Aah… As I expected…! It was absolutely worth observing this flora, without knowing if it was even a type of moss or not.

Jade: Look here, Floyd! I've obtained a rare species of moss!

[Floyd flips a page in his book]

Jade: He's… Reading, I see. It is a shame that I cannot share this exciting occasion with him, but I suppose I shouldn't press it today.

Jade: It would truly be regrettable if I brought about his ire and he damaged this rare specimen in the process.

Jade: Oh yes, I cannot just leave it like this. I should take a picture and jot down its information in my notebook!

Jade: Ah, right, I suppose I should fill this out while I am at my desk, as well.

「Survey on Quality of Life Improvements for the Student Body」

Jade: Quality of life improvements, hm… I think I would wish for a more suitable environment to raise my terrariums.

Jade: Just because a place is suitable for humans to live in, that does not mean that plants or moss will thrive in the same way.

Jade: I've had plants wither away in the shade without knowing that they require a location bathed in sunlight…

Jade: I've even had mushrooms grow from the moss simply because the temperature and humidity were too high…

Jade: That incident was the absolute worst.

Jade: When I returned to my room, the mushroom spores had spread so fervently that the terrarium was completely unsalvageable…

Jade: The cause of that disaster was painfully apparent. It was all due to the fact that I could not control the temperature, humidity, nor the necessary daylight in my room.

Jade: In order to resolve such issues, it would be best to ensure everyone has their own room, regardless of year…

Jade: Or, at the very least, I'd like it if we could partition the rooms completely.

Jade: If only because there was one time that I had purchased a large humidifier, but Floyd broke it, saying he hated how muggy it made the room.

Jade: If we were able to have our individual spaces, then I could install a humidifier, a heater, or even add more windows to regulate natural light… AH!

Jade: Right, Octavinelle is located underwater, so we would also have to take into account levels of salt in the air.

Jade: I'll put "The buildings should be reinforced to be resistant to salt pollution." …Or perhaps I should just request that the whole dormitory be protected by a stronger layer of magic…

Jade: …Hm, there isn't much space to write my response on this survey. I even had to fully utilize the reverse side of the paper.

Jade: If I were able to provide a better environment for the moss to thrive in, then we should be able to increase their number and spread them even further. Heh, and thus my dreams are spread further.

[Octavinelle Dorm – Jade's Room]

Jade: …..

[Jade's eyes snap open]

Jade: It seems I've awoken before my alarm today, as well.

Jade: I'm sure Floyd won't wake for some time, so I should go and freshen up while I can.

[Octavinelle Dorm – Washroom]

Jade: It stays unruly even if I wet it… Haah, it seems my bedhead today is a stubborn foe.

Jade: I'll leave fixing my hair until the end, so for now, I should focus on my makeup routine.

Jade: The most important thing to take into account is protecting my skin from the sun. Sunscreen is to be applied evenly everywhere… Ah, yes, and I cannot forget my ears, either.

Jade: After that, I'll do my eye makeup, and apply a lip balm with further sunscreen protection…

Jade: Now, we get down to this unruly hair… I'll turn on the hair iron…

Jade: I'll grab the end of the length by my ear and move the flat iron down towards my fingertips while trying to give it a light curl.

Jade: …

Jade: …It came out too straight.

Jade: I thought I had twisted the end properly… I suppose I did not curl it enough. I'll try again…

Jade: …This time the strands are too springy, I must have added too much of a curl.

Jade: It seems my opponent is a fierce one this morning… How fascinating. I shall meet them head on.

Jade: After all, making a proper "J" is a difficult task… One that I find extremely worthwhile!

[Octavinelle Dorm – Jade's Room]

Jade: After fixing my hair, next is my usual… Wonderful, everything has come out perfectly.

Jade: Not a single wrinkle to be found. Ahh… I do love to see freshly ironed shirts in the morning.

Jade: I can feel my own mood slowly get better with each wrinkle smoothed out of my clothes.

Jade: Now, I just need to iron my handkerchief.

Jade: A black handkerchief, without any embroideries. A gentleman's elegance.

Jade: Now then, it is still rather early… I should head towards the dormitory lounge and enjoy a cup of tea by myself.

Jade: It might be nice to try some of the tea leaves that I've received recently today. After all, it is my birthday.

[Main Street]

Jade: Good morning, Jamil-san. What a coincidence, running into you in a place like this.

Jamil: How is it a coincidence? We're sophomores on our way to class, so it wouldn't be strange to meet up like this.

Jade: …

Jamil: What's with that look?

Jamil: Yeah, I know. Happy Birthday. …You just wanted to hear me say that, right?

Jade: Heheh, thank you. Just from hearing your well wishes, I think today will end up being a wonderful day.

Requested by @thelonepearl and @sakurakudo.

[insomniadreamzz]

Can I please make a request for Jinx x fem reader.

I was thinking reader has really really dry skin, and forgets to use moisturizer. Maybe one day Jinx sees readers cracking bleeding hands and freaks out! Could it please end with soft Jinx rubbing in moisturizer to readers hands.

Thank you!

I care for you

Jinx x Fem!Reader

The cold weather made your skin feel all itchy since you had naturally a very dry skin, making you have a hard time during winter. Usually you knew about this issue but these days you were way too busy to care for yourself.

You were busy going on missions, helping Jinx out whenever she needed something but you didn’t get a lot of time to talk to her since she was busy herself. You missed having time only for you two without being stressed.

The blue haired girl entered her hideout after a long, stressful day. Her pink eyes scanning the area, searching for you. When her eyes looked at the floor, she saw little drops of blood on it, causing her to freak out immediately.

What if something happened to you? What if you are hurt? It’s her fault she left you alone. All of those thoughts made her nearly panic but she tried her best to not lose herself completely. You needed to be somewhere in here and you might needed her help.

Jinx shouted your name, trying to get your attention and she got greeted by you looking like you just napped, which you did. „Why are you yelling??…“ You asked her as you rub your eyes, her being too focused on being happy to see you are fine so she didn’t notice your hands, rushing over to you and hugged you so tightly you nearly fell down. „I am so glad! I-I saw blood, I thought you are injured…I thought something bad happened to you. I am never gonna leave you alone again!“ She cried in your arms, even though she had no reason to feel worried you got badly injured, you knew she thought you were nearly dead but then she pulled back to take a better look at you, her eyes scanning your body for possible injuries.

„Jinx…I am fine please. I just napped.“ You said with a little soft groan. She only stopped once she took your hands in hers, you were surprised yourself, you didn’t realise the skin on your hands were cracking and bleeding. „Y-You are bleeding! Why are you lying to me?!“ She began to panic again, her hands gently holding yours as she took a better look at them, then she looked up into your eyes again. You couldn’t tell if she was sad or just really mad at this point. Probably both.

„You shouldn’t lie to me! I thought you love me…why did you lie to me? You’re just like everyone else aren’t you??“ Her voice cracked and her body was shaking. You still were a little overwhelmed by her reaction, sometimes you just forgot how mentally unstable your girlfriend was and that every tiny thing could make her explode into a anxious mess.

„But-…Jinx I was sleeping. I am confused as well.“ You really didn’t notice your skin was already cracking on your hands, you just kept doing your work and maybe you also overworked yourself and just fell asleep without noticing anything on your hands.

She looks at you and within seconds she slapped across your face, leaving a red mark on your cheek. „Liar!“ She was still stuck in her own mind, the voices in her head getting louder as she fell on her knees and holding her head, driving totally away as she grumbled, talking to the voices in her head. You kneeled down in front of her, Jinx shifting away from you. „Hey…why would I lie to my love? You know I would never. I promised you.“ You said with a soft voice, trying to calm her down. Your heart broke seeing her cry and struggle about something you didn’t even notice. She was breathing heavily as she looked at you but you knew she was still stuck, struggling with herself.

„You know I do have naturally a very dry skin don’t you? I told you once. This cold weather makes it worse and…I didn’t put moisturiser on my hands like I should and that causes them to crack and it can get so bad that they start bleeding on some places. No one hurt me. I am fine.“ You tried to explain to her as you looked straight into her eyes. Your words sounding serious and she slowly started to come back to you to reality, her breathing getting slower and steadier.

„I love you. I would never betray you.“ You said before taking the chance to place a kiss on her lips, the voices in her head fading as she felt your lips on hers and she finally relaxed. Jinx went back to reality and she kissed you back.

„Why…why didn’t you take care of yourself?“ She mumbled before getting up. „Stay where you are.“ She said and in a few seconds she got back to you with moisturiser you usually used and gently rubbed it on your hands. Her touch was so gentle like being scared to crush your hands, it was so cute you couldn’t help but smile at her, watching her being very focused on helping you.

„If you don’t take care of yourself…I will take care of you.“ And she meant it. From now on she won’t miss a day to remind you of using your moisturiser on your hands so you won’t get hurt again.

She will always take care of you just like you take care of her.

[kingkat12]

chasing sleep (roman godfrey x reader)

WARNINGS: 18+, piv sex, morning sex, attempting-to-stay-quiet sex, Roman loves tits (oops), reader on top, dub-con elements, needle-gate is back lol, dark!Roman returns, fluff, angst, and reader is fucking brainwashed cause girl stand up for yourself wdym

summary: everything seems to be going perfect for you-- you've got the guy, after all. however, you're still haunted by the life you gave away to be with him, and specifically, the girl you left behind. will Roman ever fully trust that you won't leave him?

word count: 11,308 (merry christmas tihi)

PART 1, PART 2, PART 3, PART 4, PART 5, PART 6, PART 7, PART 8, PART 9, PART 10, PART 11

a/n: celebrating 700 followers AND christmas with this monster of a chapter!! I love all of you, thank you once again for your amazing support, I LOVE YOU!! this fanfic is nearing the end now, so... hold on tight for what's about to come;) ENJOY, MWAH<3

"You didn't say goodbye, and now a part of me believes that means you're coming back,"  

Over and over again, those words echoed in my ears. I had read it in a passage somewhere, probably in the new romance novel I had picked up a few days ago, and now it truly haunted me. Latched onto my guilt, my love, my very being-- I wasn't sure whether I was capable of letting it all go, despite how happy Roman made me. 

Was that maybe why I ended up right here, right now?

"Do you think it could work again?" Letha echoed, turning to me. Her legs were dangling off my roof as we sat by the edge. A soft breeze moved her long, blonde hair away from her shoulders, and just like that, I was reminded of how truly beautiful she was. It must be a genetic thing for all the Godfreys to be breathtaking. However, the look in Letha's green eyes told me something was wrong, but I couldn't put my finger on it. It was almost as though I was looking back at her with a grey-ish filter, like my vision was making it seem like we were sitting in a cloud of fog. None of this looked real. 

"What could?" I asked, turning to check my surroundings-- yeah, this was definitely my roof. Why were we here?

"Us," Letha's gaze awaited me as I faced her again, and it was heartbreakingly sad. "You and I. Our friendship."

It felt like I had dipped the tips of my fingers in cold water. "Letha... Come on," I reached for her hand, placing mine above hers with a sigh; "This ended a long time ago. I don't think we can salvage this--"

"But what if we could?" Letha's voice was so painfully sweet, so insistent. "Do you think it could work again?"

"What could?"

"Us," she breathed, turning her hand to intertwine our fingers with an unusually hard grip. It didn't feel so sweet anymore. "You and I. Our friendship."

The red lights in my mind went off like police sirens-- something was off. With my next glance at her hair, it was no longer that same warm shade of blonde. Now, I could argue it was actively turning white before my eyes. 

This wasn't real. "Letha?"

"Yes?"

"... Am I dreaming?"

Letha's eyes softened as the green in them dulled down, bordering a bleak color of grey. "Yes," she said. "I'm looping it until you're honest."

"What do you mean?--"

"You'll wake up when you tell me the truth. If you want to help your subconscious let go of the guilt, you should do it,"

My heart was actively breaking. Looking into Letha's blank eyes, I realized it reminded me of the look she had on her face when I first told her about Roman and me. "Ask, then,"

I could see her emotions clutching her soul like an unforgiving fist despite this only being a dream. My head didn't have any problems conjuring the image of her as a kicked, wounded puppy. She spoke; "Do you think it could work again?"

I indulged with a soft sigh; "What could, Letha?"

"Us," she said, allowing tears to well in her eyes. "You and I. Our friendship."

I felt it truly, brutally, that I didn't know what to say. I didn't know if it would break me to be honest. "I can't leave Roman for you," I breathed. "I won't. So I doubt you and I could be friends again as long as I'm still with him."

Letha nodded, turning away to look up at the full moon above us. The hand she had in mine was starting to turn cold. "Do you think it could work again?"

Oh, she was asking again-- was my answer maybe not the truth? Not the right answer? Did my sleeping subconscious know? "What could?" I echoed, growing tired of the loop we were caught in.

"Us," Letha closed her eyes as her chest raised and fell with her shallow breaths. "You and I. Our friendship."

I decided to give it less thought-- that was the key, sometimes. Roman had taught me that. Could it? Could it truly? "Honestly?"

"Honestly,"

It didn't take long before I realized tears were threatening to spill from my eyes too. I had missed the smell of Letha's sweet perfume. It smelled like home and a comforting hug hello. "Yeah. I think it could work," It was weird to hear me say it out loud; "I was always in love with Roman, but you... You taught me how to love in the first place. If we could both forgive each other, I think we'd have a chance. Yet... I don't think I ever can. Fully."

Letha didn't open her eyes, barely moved an inch. She opted for a short, melancholic nod as her lower lip gave in to a tremble. "I'm afraid I'll miss you forever," she whispered, mostly to herself. 

And suddenly, I couldn't feel the weight of her hand in mine. My gaze darted down to what was previously our union, only to find that she wasn't there anymore. I looked up to find a slow line of evaporating smoke, similar to a trail coming from Roman's cinnamon cigarettes. 

With my next heave of air accompanied by a lonely tear rolling down my cheek, I allowed my hand to reach out to touch the fog. It was thick, and it prickled the tips of my fingers to the likes of a cactus-- my sorrow clouded my instincts, and I didn't retract my hand. I hadn't allowed myself to feel any of this, after all. I had been so wrapped up in Roman, so wrapped up in the new feelings that washed over my body, that I had buried all the old ones. 

However, Letha kept her promise-- I was released.

Released from the loop, but with one foot remaining in the quicksand of guilt.

And as I awoke, it felt like I had been thrown into a cold pond. With a quick breath, I arched off the bed, gasping; "Roman!"  

Frantic beyond words, I heaved for air, blinking rapidly to wake myself up. The morning sun shone through Roman's curtains with soft rays, and I was hit with the smell of a burnt candle. Still hyperventilating, I put a hand on my chest as I tried to turn around, but to no avail.

Why couldn't I move? Was I maybe still stuck in the dream? 

Oh, wait-- It was at this moment that I realized I had a heavy arm around me, keeping me still with my back pressed up against human warmth. 

I let out a shaky breath, a relieved smile spreading across my lips-- Roman. 

My panic gradually subsided, washing away with calm waves as I turned my head to look at him. The sun did him good. Roman's hair was a very specific shade of brown, but in the sun, it had twinges of orange and golden hues. If I were to ever bring it up to him, I know he'd protest and say he was nowhere near ginger. He wasn't, and I was aware of that; as usual, he wouldn't get the point.

After some careful maneuvering, I managed to turn in Roman's heavy embrace, facing him. His plush lips were gently parted, and his long, brown lashes weighed over his eyes-- he also had a rather hefty case of bedhead which I couldn't help but find beyond endearing. Up close like this, completely still, I could see the nearly invisible freckles painting the apples of his cheeks, study the curve of his upper lip, and the scar-like indent on his right cheek. I dared to trace my thumb over it, feeling the softness of Roman's skin against the pad of my finger-- this was beauty unmatched.

He was so beautiful. 

And he was mine.

With the gentlest of pressures, I leaned forward, barely brushing my lips across Roman's. I didn't dare to fully kiss him. I wouldn't dare to wake him up. If only we could lay like this forever, undisturbed and alone.

Forever.

Memories of last night swarmed my brain, pushing out all the memories of Letha's sad, green eyes. I smiled as I realized the ache between my legs hadn't subsided-- the sting remained. It had actually happened. I hadn't made it all up. And I would've stayed engulfed in my cloud of complete and utter awe if Roman hadn't nearly scared the living crap out of me with the following.

His voice was raw with sleep as his eyes remained closed; "It's rude to stare,"

I practically arched right off the bed again. Had Roman not had his arms around me in a deadweight hold, I was sure I'd have flown right down to the floor. "Christ!" I hissed, shocked. How had he known? "Sorry... Did I wake you?"

Roman seemed too sleepy to grant me a proper answer, and he settled for a short grunt; "Sleep," 

"It's already morning!--"

"Don't care. Sleep," With his next breath, he pulled me even closer, until the tips of our noses were touching.

I was almost glad Roman's eyes were closed. At least he didn't see the hefty blush creeping up my cheeks. It dawned on me that he maybe had a point-- we had never had the pleasure of having nowhere to be, with no one to wake us up, or school to go to. 

There was one thing I wanted to say, but I was scared he'd get upset at my use of words-- no, fuck it; "You're so pretty," I whispered, reaching up to brush my fingers over the tips of his long, long lashes. "You can't expect me not to stare when you look like this."

Roman's brows drew together, yet he allowed me to do as I pleased in his sleepy state. "I'm not pretty,"

Knew it. "Yeah, you are,"

"Just go to sleep,"

"You're unbelievably pretty,"

"... Please just sleep,"

I was aware that I was annoying him, but something about the way his voice got all harsh in the morning made me want to hear him more. Roman's breath fanned over the skin at the tip of my nose with the gentlest breeze as I sighed against his lips; God, how I loved him. "I don't want to sleep... but I can lay here with you, if you want,"

Roman hummed, the dark rumble in his chest nearly vibrating the bed in the process. "Just don't go anywhere,"

"I won't,"

"Ever,"

"I won't,"

With Roman's next breath, I knew he finally believed me-- finally. It hit him for the first time last night that I wasn't lying when I said I wasn't going anywhere, and it hit him again now. Forever was a dead serious plan of mine, and I was intent on making him understand that no matter what. "You're prettier," he eventually said, nudging my nose with his. "You're like the first pleasant sip of water after you've recovered from a sore throat."

"... Specific,"

Roman let out a short, annoyed groan; "Sleep,"

I didn't want to sleep. I didn't want to possibly face Letha again. With my palms against Roman's soft cheeks, I placed a loving kiss against his parted lips, feeling him sigh into me. "Good morning, Rome,"

He smiled, fulfilled, as though he couldn't hold it back anymore; "Good morning, baby,"

"Did you at least sleep well?--"

"Sleep!"

"... But I really don't want to,"

With another sigh, Roman stirred, pulling me closer to press a lazy kiss to my jaw. "Either you go back to sleep, or we fuck. You gotta give me something to work with, here,"

I stilled. "That's... not a bad idea,"

Roman's classic smirk illuminated my morning. "Turn around, then,"

"Huh?--"

"Trust me,"

Sometimes, when I was lonely, before everything with Roman, I used to kiss the skin between my knuckles and imagine someone else was kissing me. The small sounds, and the tingling sensation pooling in my stomach, would distract me from the unbearable feeling of loneliness. The reality of it.

Which is why, when Roman brought my hand to his mouth, pressing his lips to my knuckles before turning me around, I knew I wasn't alone.

Actually, it wasn't just that that showed me I wasn't-- the repeated strokes of Roman's cock filling me was certainly reminder enough.

It was that sort of lazy morning sex I had only read about in those odd novels my mom would hide around the house, or heard about from my friends which I no longer had. This was a different type of sex from yesterday's, which had been so highly connected and emotional-- and this was not to say that this right now wasn't both connected and emotional, but it was... comforting. Like we were taking joy in being able to do just this. To enjoy one another in a sleepy, slow form.

Roman's grip around my throat wasn't hard or choking-- it was more of a hold to keep me in place as he let out a breathy grunt against my shoulder, sinking into me with slow, lazy strokes from behind. "We should do this more often," Roman murmured against my ear, listening to my small whimpers. "Isn't this fun?"

I could hear his stupidly pretty smile. Fucking Romy Schneider. "What, sex?" Obviously?

Roman's deep laugh against my ear nearly had me shuddering; "In the morning," he purred.

"That's gonna be-- hard," My last words were cut off by the hitch of my breath. This felt too good. "Parents and-- and all." It was true, though. How were we supposed to do this with our parents in the house? I doubted Roman's mom was out on business trips all the time, anyway.

With a small huff, I was pulled even tighter to his chest, almost as a reprimand-- I had no idea why it made my cheeks burn. "You'll learn to be quiet," Roman breathed, kissing up the shell of my ear. "Right?"

"I--"

"You'll be a good little girl for me and be quiet, hm?"

And just as I was about to protest, to remind him it was probably a little rude to have sex with other people in the house (I had no idea actually, was there no etiquette to it?), the hand Roman had around my waist slid between my legs, coaxing them further apart. All my thoughts of having a proper conversation went out the window the second he pressed two fingers to my clit, circling it as his kisses moved to the skin between my ear and my jaw.

It was impossible not to give in to the feeling; Roman was intoxicating. I whimpered with the next brush of his cock against my sweet spot, the different sensations dulling my brain with every thrust-- "Yeah,"

Roman let out a hum of approval; "Just for me?"

"Only-- Only you,"

I could practically feel him melt against me. "That's my girl,"

It was an oddity how much Roman enjoyed the sound of it. How much he enjoyed knowing he finally had a companion in the world. I could feel his cock twitch inside of me with the reminder, with the need to become one.

Because at the end of the day, that's what we were now.

We were one. 

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈• ｡ﾟ

The next day at school was the easiest day to handle in a while. It didn't matter that people were staring, that my reputation was still tarnished, because I finally felt the stream of love floating my way that I had been craving my whole life.

"You need to start zipping this up," Roman huffed, reaching for the zipper of my jacket. He pulled me closer to the railing he was sitting on by the school entrance, shaking his head. "It's getting cold. Don't be stupid." This was a new level of intimacy. The quiet moments, the small, shared moments of care. He was almost annoyed that I hadn't done it myself, that I hadn't thought to take care of myself, thoughtless little girl. 

I loved it when he got protective like this. Absolutely adored it. It only reminded me of how much I loved him, and consequently, how I couldn't tell him. 

I glanced at Peter, who sat next to Roman, and held back a snicker. I could bet about a hundred dollars that he had never seen his best friend so ridiculously protective before. "She's not twelve," he tried, nudging Roman's shoulder, earning a displeased grunt. 

Oh, of course Peter didn't get it. Roman Godfrey, sweetly zipping up my jacket-- the simplest of all things. Nonetheless, it brought a twinge of scarlet to my cheeks as I spotted a group of cheerleaders passing us on the way to the school entrance; the looks of seething jealousy in their eyes only brought me joy. A part of me wanted the sight of Roman being sweet to leave them with a feeling of pure agony. I wanted them all to suffer. Always. For their heads to be bashed in like Jasmine nearly did to herself into her locker; I wished it upon them. On them all. 

... I needed to snap out of this.

Roman had been right-- it was getting chilly in Hemlock Grove. I shivered when he finished buttoning my buttons, smiling down at him where he sat with Peter, glad none of them could read my thoughts. I wondered whether Roman would be horrified or... comforted by the fact that I was capable of wishing cruelty upon others, just like him.

It didn't matter. None of it did. Especially not now that he was looking up at me with those big, green eyes of his with his hands tucked into his jacket, looking handsome as ever. From this angle, Roman's shoulders were almost broader, and the more I thought about his physique, the more I thought about last night when he was completely undressed.

Completely undressed, on top of me, loving me. 

... Loving me. 

If only he did.

Fuck-- I couldn't think about that right now. The need to draw him in and have him all over again would overcome me soon, and I needed to push it down. It would be quite unfortunate if I started acting like a cat in heat every time I saw him from now on. "I need to get to class," I said, keeping my hands to myself despite how much I wanted to run them through Roman's hair. 

His eyes softened as he scanned me, jacket fully zipped up and all. "What do you have now?" he asked, now toying with the fabric of my pockets. 

"Math, sadly,"

Peter looked like he couldn't wait to escape the tension that ensued the two of us being in such close proximity. "Oh, right," Peter muttered, clicking his tongue against his palate as he sat back on the banister. "Math, second period... With Letha, right?"

The name was enough to make me freeze, and just for a second, it felt like the air got colder. I was sure I might've even flinched. The image of Letha in my dreams, white as though drained of blood, clouded my vision as my heart started to thump painfully. Why was I reacting like this? 

Also, Roman looked like he had been greatly offended by something. With furrowed brows, he sat back and sent Peter a look of what the fuck. "How do you even know that?" he muttered, reaching one arm forward to drag me closer by my waist, his eyes not leaving Peter's to scan his every minuscule reaction.

I was relieved by Roman's touch-- my fingers dipped into the short hair at the nape of his neck, unsure what was happening. 

On the other hand, Peter seemed to have a hard time recovering from what I could only guess was a slip-up. "I don't know," he said, shrugging as his eyes shied away. "I just remember it, I guess."

Roman snapped; "Why?"

Okay-- I didn't want to be here for this conversation. I couldn't hear more about Letha, not after my cryptic dream. It didn't make matters any better that Peter was right, and that I would see her in my next class. I stopped playing with Roman's hair, placing a short kiss to the top of his head; "I'm heading off," I mumbled, nodding shortly to Peter before excusing myself. 

Having got a quick whiff of Roman's heavy, intoxicating perfume, I closed my eyes and clutched my books tightly to my chest as I walked to class. The sheer smell of him, the softness of his hair, the kindness of his gestures-- it all made my head wander back to last night. The way it felt to have him inside me, how he took care of me, and how good it all felt. Allowing the memories to float back into my mind, I didn't realize I was walking around with a bright smile on my face until I sat down in math class and got a few odd looks from the other students around my seat. I wasn't usually this cheery, I suppose. 

Life felt good. When I thought about Roman, everything felt great. I made myself comfortable behind my desk, feeling my tummy tingle with my reminiscing of last night; I wanted him more than ever. Now that I knew we could be together like that, I wasn't sure how I was supposed to be able to detach from him. And just as I thought I was about to explode into a burst of butterflies, I stuck my hand in my coat to reach for my phone, only to find what felt like crumbled-up paper. 

Confused, I unfolded it;

i miss the look on your face when you cum. miss you miss you miss you. let's find a quiet place somewhere and get very very noisy after school, what do you think about that? do tell. i want to know your every thought, actually. what makes you tick, and so forth. know that i'm probably thinking about you right now. always. 

- your favorite (hopefully)

Oh, Roman and his notes. When had he managed to put it in there? A few minutes ago, when he toying with my pockets? Sneaky. I was dead sure my cheeks had turned a peculiar shade of pink by the time I felt someone put down their bag in the empty seat next to me, and I was too drunk on the euphoria to glance at my partner for today's class. How I loved Roman-- I loved him to the point where the tips of my fingers burned when I thought about him. And knowing he was probably in class now as well, thinking about me too... no, it was almost too much to bear.

However, when something much harder to face suddenly sat down next to me, I would've loved to get sucked right back into my tingling cave of Roman-comfort. 

Letha. 

Letha was here. 

Letha was sitting next to me, gazing back at me with those trademark green Godfrey eyes. 

Fuck. I immediately crumbled up the note, stuffing it down my pocket to hide the content of it from her. Knowing Letha, she'd probably barf at the sight of the first sentence. "What are you doing?" I hissed, glancing around to scour the classroom for empty seats. "There's a free table two rows down--"

"I like sitting here," Letha's face remained free of strong emotion, and she turned away to unpack her supplies. "It's close to the window, and I need the natural sunlight. It helps the headache I get from the lamps in here, don't you remember?"

She said it so matter-of-factly, and for a second, it felt as though I had been teleported back to two months ago. I didn't know how to act around Letha anymore. "Sure," I mumbled. Just my luck. 

As class started, I would glance over at Letha every once in a while. She seemed so peaceful, undisturbed by my presence, and I wasn't sure why that annoyed me to this extent. Was it perhaps the fact that she sought out forgiveness from me when she refused to give me any in return? That she was seeking acceptance about the situation only when it suited her? 

It was odd to look at Letha and see her in colours. After my dream last night, I could only see her in her undead form, dead to me.  

To my dismay, Letha leaned over to my side of the table a little later that class; "Do you have a pencil?" she whispered.

A Godfrey asking to borrow my pencil? It usually led to no good. Still, I handed her one--

"Thank you,"

"No problem,"

This was so weird. It felt too normal, yet it was agony to act that it was. However, the situation only worsened when the teacher asked us to work in pairs and solve an equation on the board. I held my breath, daring to glance at Letha; she was already looking at me. "You have no clue how to solve this stuff, do you?"

I shrugged. She knew me too well. "You've probably already solved it in your head,"

Letha's smile was kind, genuine. "Want me to show you how to do it?"

"Nah," 

"Do you even do your homework anymore?"

I knew her question was coming from a good place. I could feel it. After all, I barely managed to do my homework when Letha and I had regular study sessions at her place. Just thinking about it made me remember the sweet smell of her sheets, which never mixed well with the incense she was always burning for 'good karma'. "Roman has a guy that does them for him, and I write my answers off of his," I mumbled.

I expected the mention of him to put her off-- yet Letha simply nodded, raising her brows in a conniving look. "He's corrupted you,"

"I've let him,"

"I know," Letha's green eyes shimmered with words untold as she echoed; "I know."

It was odd to face her like this. For her to know my feelings for Roman, and not walk off this time. This was the first conversation we'd had in months where we weren't at each other's throats. And suddenly, Letha took the leap I wasn't allowed to take-- she leaned in closer as she dared to whisper the forbidden words; "I miss you,"

Oh no. "Letha--"

"You never said goodbye, and now a part of me believes you're coming back,"

I let out a shaky breath as I moved my chair further away from hers. What she said had been too close to the words in my dream last night. It was chilling. "Of course I never said goodbye," I hissed back, feeling my emotions boil to a simmer. "You didn't let me." There it was, laid out in the open. "You cut me off, Letha." She had. "And you left me for dead!"

Letha held her breath high in her chest as her mouth formed a tight line. It wasn't until she moved her chair closer to mine and gripped the table harder that she allowed herself to breathe; "I left you for dead because you basically fucking stabbed me!" 

"I didn't mean to!"

"And you think I did?" Letha hissed. "You gave me no choice!"

"That's not true! I came clean to you, and the least you could've done was to!--"

"Yeah, well, I'm sorry!" 

We stared at one another in silence. There it was, my apology, served on a silver platter. I had heard it once before, but Roman wasn't here to control the outcome of it this time. Something within the bounds of my soul was relieved of anger and tension, and I couldn't halt the result of it; "I'm sorry too,"

Letha froze for a good second or two. Her lips parted in disbelief as her grip on the table lifted, and she sat back in her chair with a slow nod. It gradually dawned on her what this meant for us. 

"Do you think it could work again?"

I indulged with a soft sigh; "What could, Letha?"

"Us," she said, allowing tears to well in her eyes. "You and I. Our friendship."

It was easier to breathe, all of a sudden. I knew that an apology wasn't enough to mend our wounds, but it was a start. I nodded along with Letha and watched as the corners of her mouth tugged upwards into a smile-- I caught myself mirroring it.

"So..." she tried.

"So..."

"Did you hear that Brooke Bluebell bought a big needle from a pharmacy?" 

I grimaced; "What? No, why?"

"To get her revenge on Roman," Letha held back a laugh, biting down on her lip as she turned to write down the answer to the math equation. "From a few months ago, if you remember the whole ordeal."

"Oh," I breathed. "Needle-gate?"

"Needle-gate,"

Despite how concerning the big needle sounded, it was a funny reminder of the past; "I've gotta tell Roman," 

"Yeah, you better. I think he's blocked me, so I'm out of the picture," Letha sat back in her chair after finishing her work, and she glanced back at me as she tapped the pencil against the paper. "You've gotta tell him about prom too."

"... Prom?"

"Yes, prom," Grabbing her bag, Letha rummaged around for a few seconds until she found a flyer. It was purple, super lavish-- "It's in two weeks, I think. Kinda short notice, but I have a feeling he'd secretly want to go. He's into the classics, so I'd suggest you indulge him."

I felt my cheeks turn red as I kept my eyes on the flyer. Just the thought of me in a dress, Roman in a suit; it made me warm. Uncomfortably warm. "I think he'd rather die, actually," I mumbled, handing it back to Letha. "Are you going?"

"Meh, don't think so," She stuffed the flyer back into her bag and sighed, reaching for her phone. "The guy that I'm into says he doesn't want to go, so I'll stay home."

It hit me that this was the first time I didn't know who Letha had a crush on. Previously, she would tell me all about them. There was a Tyler, there was a Scott, and then there was a third one who had a really peculiar last name. And just as I was about to scour my brain for more names, a particular one popped up on Letha's phone as she turned it on;

Peter: I think it's time to...

That was all I was able to see, as she needed to click on it to read the whole message. My eyes widened as I sat back in my chair, sending Letha an odd look. It was clear by her body language that she hadn't intended for me to see that, and she immediately flipped her phone. 

... Was something going on?

Letha cleared her throat and turned back to me with the same smile, yet it felt disingenuous. "That's a different Peter," she said, a somewhat panicked squeak to her voice. "It's the neighbour. He might be complaining about the amount of cars my dad has parked on our street, cause they don't fit into our garage anymore. It needs to be discussed, apparently. It's time, or whatever."

That seemed like a typical rich-kid problem. I could somewhat buy it. "Is it a Godfrey thing to be crazy about cars?"

"Just you wait until you hear about the cigarettes. Dad's a real chain-smoker,"

"... Don't tell me they're cinnamon-flavoured?"

Letha sighed; "Sadly, yeah. The garage smells like a goddamn gingerbread house,"

The laughter that followed wasn't intentional, and it blended in with the ring of the bell. 

This was nice. To see the smile on Letha's face felt good, like a warm soup when you have a cold. It was a comfort to know that we could finally be normal around each other, despite the fact that we would possibly never be friends again like before, or even forgive one another. I doubted that I ever could, fully. 

However, just as I was about to excuse myself, I spotted a silhouette by the door which made my blood run cold. 

Fuck.

Roman. 

I saw it in his eyes immediately. The confusion, which quickly morphed into something darker, anger-like. My laughter died down in an instant as my body kicked into a fight-or-flight response, suddenly scared out of my mind to be caught laughing with Letha-- she seemed to catch on momentarily, but remained in her seat as she watched me shove all my supplies and books into my backpack, hurrying to get to Roman.

I had forgotten that he wanted to pick me up after class. I had forgotten my promise to not fraternise with the enemy-- fucking stupid. 

Hoping to conceal the slight tremble in my hands, I put one of them on Roman's arm when I caught up to him in the doorway, smiling up at him with an anxious breath stuck in my chest. "Hey, you," I tried, giving the sleeve of his shirt a gentle tug as I always did, a plea for him to bend down and kiss me. It was impossible to reach all the way up to his lips without it, anyway.

But Roman's attention hadn't left Letha. His eyes had narrowed, glaring at her with fury apparent in the way his jaw clenched. Had telepathy been a real thing, I'd have thought they were yelling at each other through their minds. I almost wanted to butt in and say Letha wasn't bothering me, that we were having a normal conversation-- however, I knew that would only make it worse. 

"Come," Roman said with a low growl, unlike anything I had heard from him before. With one last scorned look at Letha, he gripped my wrist and started marching down the hallway; I didn't expect to be yanked from my place the way I was, and I was sure my legs were fully in the air for a microsecond or two; "Roman!--"

"This day just keeps getting worse," he muttered, not waiting for me to find my balance as he continued to drag me down the hallway. 

Roman's grip around my wrist was hard. "Slow down!" I tried, grabbing his arm with my free hand. "It's not what it looks like! It's not-- " Everything about this made me dizzy, and his sudden anger made the familiar feeling of dread pool in my stomach. It only got worse when he pulled me into an empty classroom, slamming the door shut behind us.

I took a few steps away from him, waiting for the bomb to explode. My breath came out in short, ragged motions as my hands remained clenched by my sides in anticipation. It felt like I was five years old again, waiting to get reprimanded for having drawn on the walls. "Roman, I--"

"Shut up," Of all the things I expected, it wasn't this. Not at all. Because suddenly, my body was pressed against the door of the classroom with Roman's arms around me, and his lips pressing needy kisses to my neck. My bag dropped to the floor-- What the...?

"Not here," was all I managed to say before my breath hitched, and my hands automatically flew up into his hair. "Roman, please, wait--"

"No," He was more dismissive than ever-- I wondered why I sort of liked it. Why it made my stomach tingle, why I wanted him to do whatever he wanted to me. Was it possibly after what had happened last night? "No more bullshit." 

I closed my eyes, hoping we'd have a few seconds to disperse if someone walked in on us right now. With the force of Roman's weight against mine keeping the door firmly shut, I was sure of it. My head lulled against the door as I felt him latch on a particular spot on the side of my neck, marking my skin with his possession. I knew I was screwed-- you can't get more screwed than this. 

I was sure I disassociated for a few seconds, because suddenly, Roman's lips brushed against my ear, and I had to suppress a shiver. "We're gonna have a damn serious talk," he said, keeping me still against the door. "We need it. I need it."

Something told me we wouldn't be talking much if he continued kissing me like this. "Let's-- Let's talk, then,"

When Roman pulled away, I could finally see the frustration on his face. The way his brows were drawn together, how high his breath was in his chest, and the narrow glare of his gaze. Still, I didn't think it would result in this; it took me a while to realize his hands were no longer at my sides, and that they were now unzipping my jeans. 

"What are you doing?" I breathed, grabbing at his wrists. "Don't--"

"You think you can outsmart me?" It was as though someone had ripped the curtains off its hinges, now revealing what was always hidden behind them. Roman's breath fell heavy against my cheek as a small twitch of his upper lip revealed his inner turmoil; "You think you can tell me one thing, and then do the opposite when I'm not looking?"

My anxiety grew as I realized Roman's strength was unmatched. There was nothing I could do to fight him. "What are you talking about?" It was hard to come up with a cohesive sentence when I was this stressed. 

"Peter told me, y'know," Roman continued, a low growl in his voice prevalent in ways it had never been before. "He told me the obvious, of course. That Letha is trying to reconcile, that she misses you... But then he told me the part I didn't know. The part you probably didn't want me to know."

It was with his last ominous words that he managed to dip his fingers past my waistband, past the hem of my underwear, and placed two fingers on my clit. The unexpected touch immediately made me squirm against the door, squeezing my eyes shut. "Why-- Why are you doing this?" was all I managed to stutter out, my hands still locked around his wrist. He knew I didn't want this. He knew. "I don't-- don't know what you're--"

"Talking about?" Roman rubbed rough circles around my clit as he placed his forehead against mine, pressing my head further up against the door. "Oh, so you're not gonna tell me?" His voice got more patronizing, as though this was fifth grade and he was teasing me in the courtyard-- "Is my good little girl gonna be real stupid and not tell me? You wanna act dumb with me, huh?"

Something about his tone made my cheeks burn. His tone, his words. This was not a good way to find out about a possible kink. My mind dulled with the stimulation against my clit, and it didn't take long before I eventually felt my arousal pooling. In all ways of the word, I felt like my body was betraying me. "Not here," I echoed, breath hitching. It felt like he was pressing a button on me, like I was a toy, thoughtlessly repeating it over and over; "Not here, Rome-- N-Not, here, please--"

"I'll stop when you tell me,"

"Tell you what?" I cried, squeezing his wrists as my hips bucked into his hand. Roman knew how to touch me, even if it was at my disadvantage. My mind was racing; someone could walk in, someone could see, someone could--

"How Letha helped you get us back together," Roman's breath was so warm, so angry, against my face, it felt like he was drawing my scorching red blush on my cheeks. "How you went and asked her for advice on how to decrypt me? Maybe you don't know me at all, is that it?"

I didn't want to think about this. I didn't want to be present. I didn't want to think about the fact that Roman had gotten the information all twisted, that Peter must've had quite an extensive talk with Letha to even know parts of this story, and that Roman couldn't find another way to talk it out than to do it like this. Forcefully. Because right now, it felt too good. It felt way too good. The sensation of his fingers rubbing circles into my clit, running them between my folds to gather up my slick, only to return to my bundle of nerves to make my legs shake with a mix of anxiety and pleasure, felt too good.

"That's not true," I tried in between heaves of air. What would it make me if I came like this? "That's not-- not true, Rome--"

"I won't ever be enough for you, will I?" 

"No-- no, you're everything!--"

"Because the end of the day, you'll go back to Letha," Roman's voice was tight, restricted, as though he was holding back a heap of emotions. "No matter what I do, how gently I fuck you, treat you, you won't want to be with me forever. No one does."

If only he knew. If only he knew that I loved him. My hands let go of his wrist, and I placed my palms against his chest, forcing some space between us with a push. That seemed to do the trick-- Roman's fingers slowed down as our eyes met, and he was faced with my watery gaze. "I didn't lie last night," I said after finally catching my breath. "I've never lied to you." An unnervingly big part of me longed for him to rub me through my high, which was not too far away from the horizon, but the sane part of me knew I had to put an end to his venture into the dark ways of his past. 

Roman's mouth pulled into a straight line; "Peter wouldn't lie to me either,"

"I'm not saying he is. He just got the story wrong,"

There was a long silence, and I knew this was my moment-- I reached for Roman's wrist again, and with careful, slow motions, I got his hand out of my underwear. "Letha heard us fight, and she came over to ask about it afterwards," I started. "There was no plotting. No decrypting. The only thing she told me, was to look for a bigger picture when it comes to fighting with you. I didn't ask for it! And what you saw just now, was us being friendly. Not friends. We will never be again, after everything that happened!" 

"But... you were talking on the stairs," Roman echoed, as something in his gaze faltered. "I saw you when we were leaving the party."

Letha's following words were almost icy to the touch, hollow to the ear; "Was I right?" 

It felt as though my world stilled. Time stilled. Just for a second, I felt as though I could wade my free hand through the coldness of her phrase, and I could wave away the mirage. She was concerned, curious. Had she genuinely wanted to help me get through this fight with Roman? 

"Yeah," I breathed. "You were. Thank you." 

Letha's face softened as a relieved sigh escaped her, nodding her head slowly. It had been a long time since the last time she had heard those words from me. "Any time," 

The memory was as fresh as day. "You were right next to me, Roman. If I was hiding something, I wouldn't have talked to her in front of you," I let go of his hand, letting out a shaky breath as he took another step away from me. I could sense that his mind was cracking itself in half. "I don't need Letha to tell me how to fix things with you. Contrary to what you were thinking, I do know you. And I know you well enough to see that this isn't you being angry with me, but rather your fucking abandonment issues surfacing because you haven't dealt with them yet!"

It was clear that Roman didn't expect me to raise my voice, but hell-- I was so done with this behavioural pattern of his. 

"It might be good for me to not have the worst relationship with all the girls at this school, have you thought about that?" I said, feeling my fists clench at my sides. "That Letha and I being friendly and not at each other's throats might be good for me? And that it might also be good for your relationship with your cousin, mind you, who you've seemingly blocked?" 

Roman remained silent, at a loss for words. 

My breathing had yet to calm down, along with my arousal. "You will always be enough for me," I said, softening my tone. "You're all I've ever wanted. I'm not leaving you. But it doesn't matter how many times I tell you this unless you trust me." I zipped up my pants, huffing as I picked up my bag. It felt as though my knees were about to give out-- I could feel my slick dripping into my underwear. This was a feeling I never wanted to revisit again. Ready to storm off, to slam the door behind me with a bang and leave Roman here to wallow in whatever he was feeling at the moment, something else hit me like a blow to the head; "Wait, how did Peter know?"

It couldn't be. It seriously couldn't be.

Roman cleared his throat, no longer meeting my gaze. I could see it in the light pink of his cheeks that he was embarrassed about his outburst. "He said they talked at the party," he mumbled under his breath. "Briefly. Just for a second."

"Ah, is that right?"

Roman caught my tone, glancing up at me through his brows. "Why?"

"Don't you think it's odd?"

"... Maybe, I don't know? I was busy getting laid that night, don't ask me,"

I would've laughed had I not been so pissed off. I could see the lack of reaction on my face getting to Roman, and he gave in to a slight shiver. Finally, the roles were reversed, just for a second. "Rome?"

He looked relieved to hear me use his nickname-- "Yes?"

"You will never do anything like that to me ever again,"

Roman tucked his hands into his pockets, head hanging low. "I... really don't know what came over me--"

"Never," I snapped, biting my teeth together. I was afraid I'd start yelling. "You will never."

I wondered whether anyone had talked to him like this. If this was the first time in history that Roman had gotten a boundary imposed on him. Maybe by his mother when she was scolding him as a child, but after that? I somehow doubted it. He remained silent, eyes fixating on his polished shoes.

Finally getting the opportunity to look at him this close, I spotted the vial of my blood still hanging around his neck, poking out from beneath his shirt. In the back of my mind, after having read that stupid book on upirs, a huge part of me thought he was getting affected by it. That the constant smell of blood right underneath his nose was activating dormant senses, dormant thoughts. 

But upirs weren't real. 

Not.

Real.

Roman's silence made me feel unimaginably guilty, as though I had been the one to force myself upon him-- he looked like a kicked puppy. I hated it. So, I gathered my next breath; "Could you at least say you're sorry? Then I'll feel better about inviting you home for dinner later,"

Roman's eyes lit up as they met mine, surprised I'd even offer. "You... still want that?"

"I can barely breathe when we're apart, what do you think?"

He let out the breath he had been holding, falling apart; "I'm really sorry,"

I didn't want to dwell on it. Didn't want to think about the fact that the scared look on my face would probably get him going for months on end. That he'd think about it at night, when he woke up, and especially when he got off at the thought of me. The scared look in my eyes. 

No. I didn't want to think about it. 

Roman was the first to approach, slowly daring to tilt my head up with two fingers underneath my chin and kissing me with the utmost gentle touch. No tongue, no urgency-- just a small, soft brush of our lips against one another, creating sparks that went all the way down into the tips of my fingers. 

Letha had been right when she first warned me about him, all those months ago. Roman was the epitome of an asshole. A core so rotten, it was impossible to carve out all the bad. You could try, you could dig, you could pray, but all of it would never go away. It would forever fester in his bones, infect the very basis of his DNA, and course through his veins.

But... when he kissed me like this, I could forget it.

I could forget.

When he kissed me like this, I only loved him more.

I knew I would love him forever. 

And as the kiss deepened with the sweetest pressure, I reached for the vial of my blood around Roman's neck-- he didn't notice the way I twisted the capsule, figuring out which way to turn it so it would screw itself off. I had a feeling I would need to know this information in times of crisis. 

Just in case.

Just in case. ｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈• ｡ﾟ

The rest of the evening went on as normal. Weirdly enough.

Roman had fully snapped out of his rage, and he had turned into a version of himself I hadn't seen before. He wasn't joking around. He wasn't making dirty jokes. 

He was... calm.

Assured. 

I knew this was probably a form of keeping on the low, to not take a wrong step and blow up in the minefield he had made himself. Roman laid still in my bed with his hands behind his head, watching as I scoured my closet. If there was going to be a prom, I had to look for a dress, right? 

"What are you looking for?" he asked, yawning. "Need some help?"

I shrugged, hoping to brush his question off. It was a bit embarrassing to be talking about this, seeing as he hadn't asked me to be his date or anything. "Just looking for a dress... Wondering if I still have the one I'm thinking about,"

"What do you need a dress for?" Roman sat up in the bed, watching me like a puppy would.

"I... like dresses. Need to wear them more often,"

"But it's getting colder, don't you think it's better to wear something warmer for the season?"

What was up with this obsession of his lately? He had to keep me warm at all times, supposedly. "You sound so polite," I mumbled, wading through my clothes. "Stop looking so guilty, please."

Roman let out a sigh, running his hands through his hair. "I feel bad,"

This was intolerable. It gnawed on my heart. "I told you we're fine, so please don't," I turned to him with one hand on my hip, hoping to stare some sense into him; "I even wore this crazy top to make your mood better, look!"

Roman's eyes darted down to the hot pink crop top I was wearing, and he bit down on his growing smile to stay neutral. Nonetheless, I could see it on his face that he remembered exactly where I had gotten it, and possibly the feeling he had back in that closet when he came into the soft fabric of it. "I'd rather you wore my sweater, like usual,"

"It's in the washer. And this top is fucking iconic," I pointed to the words which were stretched out across my chest. "See? 'Rock on', in big, black letters. You need to rock on more, Roman."

His smile immediately cracked, and he propped himself up on his elbows as he leaned down on the bed. "I've done enough rocking for today, that's for sure,"

I finally saw a way I could turn his mood upside down. With a smug smile, I walked over to the pink speaker I got for my seventeenth birthday and connected it to my phone. "Rome, baby, who's big in rock these days?" 

Roman chuckled, rolling over on his side to follow me with his eyes. "Depends what type of rock you're looking for,"

"Anything,"

"I don't know, then. Anything from Nirvana to Blur, I suppose," 

Bingo. I guessed that Roman was going for bands he thought I had heard of, and he had hit jackpot. With a click of a button, the intro to Song 2 by Blur started playing through the speakers, which earned me another laugh from my boyfriend. It was a typical rock song-- it started out rather quiet until it broke out into complete chaos. 

I crawled back into bed, kissing my way up Roman's stomach, which only made his breath hitch. The giggles brewing in his chest resonated through my body that was pressed up against his, and I joined the laughter as I kissed his rosy cheeks. It was intimate, it was sweet. I loved that I could do this with him now, that he was comfortable enough to be put in a position like this, and that he allowed me to pull stunts like these.

And after all, I decided I would show my love through action, as I couldn't tell him about the extent of my feelings. I knew he'd get up and bolt right out the window like something straight out of a cartoon.

Roman caught his breath, placing his hands on both sides of my face-- all the emotions he couldn't tell me either were on display in his big, green eyes, roaming around the galaxies in his dark pupils. "I trust you,"

"... What?--"

"I keep thinking about what you said earlier," he tried, stroking his thumbs across the soft skin of my cheeks. "I promise I trust you. And I'm sorry that I get in my head about it, because you don't deserve that. You deserve so much better than what I can give you, yet... I want you to stay with me. I really, really want you to stay with me."

This was a rather deep conversation to be having with loud rock music in the background. I should've definitely picked something more mellow. With a sigh, I leaned down to kiss the tip of Roman's nose-- "I told you I'm not going anywhere," I breathed. "I'm yours forever, if you'll have me."

Finally, Roman's eyes lit up. Lit up like fireworks painting the sky. "Forever sounds nice,"

"It does, doesn't it?" It was impossible not to smile.

"It so does," 

It was a relief when he pulled me tightly to his chest and kissed me. It was the type of kiss I had dreamed of having in my bed on a lazy afternoon, the type of kiss which made my heart swell as it beat against his. The type of kiss which I had only ever seen in movies, the type of kiss I could never imagine would feel this good.

No one ever told me that making out with your boyfriend was such a thrill. To be tangled up as one, to be a heap of bodies coming together, to be a mess, and that it would make my whole being vibrate with joy. Roman's lips were so gentle to the touch, yet his kisses were so hot, all-taking, that I wanted nothing more than to melt into him and become one. 

It didn't take long before he rolled us over-- I knew he wouldn't be the type to like anyone on top except for him. My hands were in his hair, tugging at the tips of his dark locks to make my fingers busy, as Roman's tongue licked a stripe up my lips; it was so soft, a feathery touch, and it drew out a shaky moan. 

I didn't know any of this was possible before I met him. I really had no idea, silly me. 

My mind didn't register the meek whine that escaped me, possibly to protect my psyche, as Roman pulled away. A thin string of saliva connected our lips as we simply breathed down at each other, gazing into the other's eyes-- I was sure mine widened a little when I felt something hard pressing against my lower abdomen. 

Fuck, that was still damn hot. 

It certainly gave the words rock on a new meaning, no?

"I need to ask you something," Roman breathed, followed by a sigh of relief when he heard the song was over. "But don't freak out on me, okay?"

I nodded, eager to have his lips back on mine again; "Sure,"

"And before you judge me, I'm not the biggest fan of this idea myself, cause I think it's kinda lame. Keep that in mind,"

"Okay?"

"So... Heh," Roman let out a soft, nervous laugh, nudging my nose with his. "You might actually want to find a dress for this to work, though."

My fingers traced circles into his hair; "Rome,"

"Yeah?"

"Stop rambling, please,"

"Oh,"

"You were saying?"

"Oh," Roman cleared his throat, placing a short kiss to my lips. "Do you want to go to prom?"

Had I not been trapped beneath him, I would've shot right out of the bed. My eyes widened as I pulled him in for another kiss, hoping to suppress the squeal that threatened to escape me. 

"Wait, wait--" Roman's words were muffled against my lips before he raised himself up, still not done. What else was there to say, though? "So, you're going?"

"... What?"

"With friends, or...?"

"Roman, what friends?"

"Ah, right," Once again, he cleared his throat and got all serious again; "So... would you want to go with me?"

It took a second for it to dawn on me that Roman had been genuinely confused. That he thought I would be going with anyone else but him. That he thought, even for just a second, that there was a possibility that I would tell him no. "Are you crazy? Of course!"

Oh, how I loved him.

I loved him to bits.

And here I was, squealing about going to prom. Roman had made me a puddle of girly with his heartthrob-ways. It would've made me sick, had we not immediately gone back to making out, but this time, with bright smiles on our faces. Kissing someone while smiling was definitely in my top three of all things possible on earth. 

Second place was being picked up like I weighed nothing, oddly enough. That was one of the perks of having a tall boyfriend, after all.

And the first place was a no-brainer. It was definitely sex. 

Oh, and who would've guessed-- we'd end up having sex a few minutes later, believe it or not. When your boyfriend is this hot, it's impossible to resist. It was the type of sex that made up for his behavior at school today, the type of sex that made me melt into the mattress with joy and pleasure. 

The cursed hot pink crop top was quickly discarded, and so was my sanity. Roman's kisses grew firm against me, muffling the sounds of my moans as his fingers dug into the soft flesh of my thighs, pinning them down and folding me into submission. It was official-- there seemed to be no etiquette to sex, and my parents being in the house was an obstacle that was easy to deal with. 

Just... shut up. Keep your mouth shut. Right?

But it was so damn hard. Especially as Roman angled his cock right up against my sweet spot with the help of the pillow beneath me, making me whine in pleasure against the kiss he had locked me in to ensure my silence. It was impossible. It made my toes curl, made my vision blurry, and made my mind go into complete lockdown. I entered a phase where I almost didn't care, where I couldn't care less at all, and where the only important thing was for Roman to do whatever he wanted to me. 

"Fuck-- me," I rambled, my hands skimming the muscular range of his broad back as I felt my need grow insatiable. 

Roman let out a huff against me, the smile on his face a visible contradiction; "What am I doing, then, gorgeous?" He was so secure, so confident, that it was impossible not to let him do whatever his heart desired to me. I trusted him with my whole being, even as his grip around my thighs started to make them ache. My lower lip quivered; "Lo--"

No, no!

"Love this," My rambling needed to end, stat. 

Roman smirked into the kiss that followed; "Me too," He seemed to be catching onto my overstimulated state, and the second I let out a sigh of relief when he let go of my thighs and the pounding against my sweet spot relented, he came right back with a move I didn't expect. Roman wrapped his arms around me, pulling me up into his lap with his cock still throbbing inside me. 

I suppressed a surprised yelp. "Rome!--"

"Shh," He guided my legs around him as he watched me adjust to the new feeling-- he was deeper than ever, now, and it freaked me out a bit. "Stay quiet for me, okay?"

I was on the brink of tears. It felt like my thoughts had short-circuited and left me for dead. My breath tensed in my chest as I draped my arms around Roman's neck, grabbing a fistful of his hair to ground myself, just as I knew he liked it. "Let's try something new," he purred, hands traveling up my thighs to grab my hips, lifting me up along his shaft as I gasped into his open mouth. 

Even when I was on top, Roman needed to have control. Perfect. That worked out well for me, actually.

The way he was looking at me made me feel like I was on fire. The green of his eyes etched into mine, watching me with unmatched amusement-- his lips were upturned into the usual smug smirk which made my heart dance in my chest, and in vulnerable moments such as these, it also resulted in my cheeks flaring up with an embarrassing shade of pink. 

It didn't take long before we found a rhythm, and before I got used to practically riding him. It was different like this, especially when Roman's hands were simply a weight on my hips, and I could fuck myself on his cock. It felt like a permission of sorts, like he was telling me he was all mine, that I could do whatever he wanted to him-- like an exchange of submission. Although, of course, Roman would never fully submit to anything in the world. 

It was easy to keep quiet when the soft pillows of his lips muffled the sounds of my inevitable moans, but when they left me, it became a fight against my conscience. A small gasp would escape me here and there, along with a loud hitch of my breath, and it eventually balled on into a breathy string of ah ah ah's-- staying quiet was an impossible task. I prayed to all the Gods above that my parents wouldn't hear the mess their dearest Roman was making out of their daughter.

They had no idea he could be like this. None. He was such a sweetheart at dinner, he'd always make sure to help my mom set the table, and he'd talk sports with my dad-- they had no idea. I could see it in Roman's eyes that he found the sight of me beyond amusing. That he got off me unraveling more than anything. He only made it harder for me to stay quiet as he pressed the heel of his palm to my clit, keeping me steady with a hand on my back as his kisses trailed down my body. 

"A-Ah, Rome--" I was done for. I was done for. 

"Shh, just a little more," Roman's lips had stayed at my clavicle for long enough to leave a mark. It dawned on me that he was leaving a trail of hickeys, and my fist in his hair tightened as my legs quivered. This was too many sensations at once. "A little more... You can take it, right?"

I couldn't utter a cohesive sentence. The pressure on my clit, his wet, eager kisses, and the way I could set the perfect pace as I slid up and down his cock made my brain buzz with static noise. I was sure my eyes had morphed into the shape of hearts as I let out a shaky, quiet moan, filling myself up with Roman's cock over and over. The best feeling in the world. 

"That's my girl..." he cooed, grabbing my waist with his free hand. "Fuck yourself on my cock, it's all yours..." His pink lips parted with pleasure as he watched me sink down on his length, enchanted by the sight. It was a delight to watch the way his perfect up-do came undone, and the way his hair fell over his forehead in messy strokes. He looked unreal, godly. 

Roman's words were enough to make my hips buck into his abdomen, but my state only got worse, deteriorated, as his mouth trailed down to my breast. The moan I had to suppress when I felt his tongue against my stiffening bud was unmatched-- I was sure I started panting as he took it into his mouth, suckling it swollen as I whimpered. 

I wanted to let it spill past my lips; I love you, I love you, I love you. In that sense, sex was dangerous territory for me. However, how was I supposed to resist when it felt this good?

My lips ghosted over the parts of him I could reach, his ear, his cheek, and I let my breath hitch against his skin as a familiar feeling pooled in my tummy. Aware, Roman only drove the heel of his palm harder into my clit, making it so that I was grinding up against him with every lift of my hips against his length. I gave into a tremble, unsure how to stabilize myself in this position-- "Rome," I cried, pleading for him to kiss me. I wasn't sure I'd be able to suppress the sounds that were threatening to spill past my quivering lips when my high washed over me.

Roman's free hand remained at my breast, pinching my bud between his pointer and his thumb in a firm hold which had me wincing in pleasure. He kissed up my body, my shoulders, my neck, my jaw, my cheek-- yet he hovered inches away from my lips, the smirk still prevalent. "You lost," he whispered.

Lost what?

It was as though he read my mind; "You can't stay quiet, can you?"

I really wished I could. I was trying with all my might. But I was so, so damn close, and I shook my head, hoping he'd take pity on me. 

"It's okay," he cooed, his breath falling hot against my cheek as he tilted his head as though to kiss me. "You were never meant to win."

And so I crumbled. Completely. Utterly. Euphoria tore through me as I fell apart in Roman's arms, and it didn't take long before he simply wrapped his arms around me, laid me back down, and fucked me through my high as I suppressed my sobs of pleasure into his shoulder. 

Honestly? I didn't remember what happened next. Completely zen, relaxed, and thoroughly fucked, I considered myself logged off for the next ten minutes or so. However, I had to run over to my mental keyboard as Roman's hand, which was previously toying with my hair, pointed to my nightstand-- "What's that?"

With a small grunt, I raised my head from his bare shoulder. Fuck. My eyes sprung wide open as I spotted The Avoidable Vampirism on display, uncovered and everything. "Uh..." How could I have left that abomination out in the open? I gulped, turning to Roman with a doe-eyed expression that I knew worked well on him. I was sure my next words would put him off his incoming queries in an instant; "It's the sequel to Twilight. Vampire erotica, the usual. Edward is gay in this book, Bella is dead, and there are tons of scenes where, uh... men kiss men. And suck each other off. Super interesting."

Unsurprisingly, Roman was immediately disinterested. "Girls," he mumbled, rolling his eyes before he pressed a short kiss to my lips. "Stop thinking about gay sex, go to sleep."

"I'm not thinking about!--"

"Sleep!"

a/n: thank you for reading this monster of a chapter!!!! as you see, Roman's going absolutely nuts... I wonder whyyy (oh we know why, don't we? don't dangle a carrot in front of a donkey or whatever they say). there are a few chapters left of this book which will be packed w shit I hope will melt your brains, but before that, I wish you all a lovely christmas and a happy new year!!! MWAH, THANK YOU!!)

here are all the chapters!!<3: PART 1, PART 2, PART 3, PART 4, PART 5, PART 6, PART 7, PART 8, PART 9, PART 10, PART 11

loveliest taglist of all time:

@mentallyscreamingsincebirth @putherup @corawithfanfiction @vladsgirlxx

@iamaslytherin0 @sexualparkour @the-universe-is-complicated @heavenly-bratt

@lafemme-nk @namiusedbubble @useyourwandbro @strmborns @literally-lani

@virgosapphire79 @star-girl-04 @veyzus @ddipotassium @pecxiebu

@mil88691 @iloveyoutodeathbutimdrowning @katifefe @sn0wybowie-blog

@lilithskywalker @likecherriesinthespring @sadheartjellyfish @vadersangel

@shehangsbrightly @burningmiraclekingdom @dollforaswan @austinswhitewolf

@nico-velvet @shiiiii-okayyyy @theantagonistalwaysdies @blackbluerose666

@obexes @rosecoloureddudez @amoure020 @itsaeasykill

@succubustacy @carmillavalentine

[gracemisconduct]

This has been a strange Christmas. The first without my dad. I've always struggled with being explicit about emotion; this is the second major grief in my life, and the first nearly killed me. This time, I'm trying to be open, less self destructive, but man, it's hard work. My mother, still here, is...someone who loves me better from afar. She also struggles to accept that this has happened to more than her. And yet, Christmas, funerals, and the time of year forces proximity, and forces everything that comes with it.

He died in increments, then all at once. I first saw him die a little ten years ago, getting a pacemaker. Then a little more two years later, when he was so breathless he couldn't walk across the small medieval town I lived in. I saw him die a little bit when he was diagnosed with cancer, and when he broke down crying at my wedding. I saw him die most and fastest this year, when he went from visiting China to not having the strength to sit up in bed by himself. And then, all at once, he died.

I never knew there was so much admin involved in death. People would ask how I was; I had no idea. I was too busy sourcing a death certificate, arranging a funeral, writing a eulogy, telling friends and family he'd died, sorting my mum's finances. Every now and again I'd burst our crying. Then I'd stop.

Through it all, two things kept me just about sane; walking, walking everywhere, and fantasy. Good fantasy, bad fantasy. Smut and angst and fandoms and AO3 and all the wonderful ridiculousness of it that teen Grace loved and 20s Grace tried to pretend she didn't. Now I'm in my 30s, no shits are given. It was a balm, a source of humour, a relief. A place of happy endings of all kinds. A lot of BG3. It even made me think about doing a little writing of my own, though we're far from there yet. Thanks, hellsite, for the wonderful wildness of this place. Thanks, makers, for putting your work out there into the world for me to get lost in and cling to like a life raft.

____________

So, who was my dad? He was the most accomplished man I ever knew; nearly 40 years curating Japanese art and metalwork at internationally renowned museums, published books, honorary positions, a photographer, a ceramicist, a singer and more. His eulogy took days to write just to remember everything he did, and we still missed things.

His curiosity for culture, his love of learning, his collecting of obscure facts and bizarre stories, was infectious. It was the golden thread of my brother and I’s upbringing, with weekends and holidays punctuated by museums, bookshops, National Trust properties, standing stones and sci-fi movies, and everything in between. It was this same passion and curiosity that meant his list of friends and admirers was longer than your arm. He was a G.I. and so am I. Yes, I stole his badge.

When we were looking for readings for his cremation, we came across this poem. It's a later addition by Tolkien, written by Bilbo as he travels to the Grey Havens, thinking about his life and what comes next. I think that dad - LOTR narrator, deliver of funny hobbit voices, old hippy - would appreciate it. I hope you do too.

Day is ended, dim my eyes,

but journey long before me lies.

Farewell, friends! I hear the call.

The ship's beside the stony wall.

Foam is white and waves are grey;

Beyond the sunset leads my way.

Foam is salt, the wind is free;

I hear the rising of the Sea.

Farewell, friends! The sails are set,

the wind is east, the moorings fret.

Shadows long before me lie,

beneath the ever-bending sky,

but islands lie behind the Sun

that I shall raise ere all is done;

lands there are to west of West,

where night is quiet and sleep is rest.

Guided by the Lonely Star,

beyond the utmost harbour-bar

I'll find the havens fair and free,

and beaches of the Starlit Sea.

Ship, my ship! I seek the West,

and fields and mountains ever blest.

Farewell to Middle-Earth at last.

I see the Star above your mast!

- J.R.R. Tolkien

notes on grief - chimamanda ngozi adichie

[bucketbueckers]

I'D RATHER PRETEND

CHAPTER EIGHT

tags: @angryflowerwitch @avvwritesstufff @melpthatsme @rebecca-woso @bueckersg1rl @l0verl4ne @clouded-whispers @dolliest-thena @katemartinlvr @numberonepartyanth3m @glamourdaya @pbbucks @unadulteratedcyclepaper @paiges-1vur @thelightknight21 wc: 9.5k notes: would it be funny if instead of linking the masterlist i linked something really weird instead. im just kidding though. or am i. call me the uconn womens basketball team the way i had a terrible first half performance but locked in for the second half of this chapter. um jk. no im not someone tell geno to figure his shit out. between geno and luigi, this has been a really sad month to be an italian. please keep us in your thoughts during this time. also idk why this is so long, the first half of this chapter truly chewed me up and spit me out so i have nothing to say. next chapter is the last for this series and if anyone has any suggestions on how im supposed to feel about that, please let me know cause idk what's happening. im probably not going to proofread this so take this as you will. as always, let me know how we're feeling about this and happy holidays 🫶

‘A Family Affair, A House Divided’

In February, the South Carolina Gamecocks hosted the University of Connecticut Huskies for the regular season. After a thrilling, competitive game, the Gamecocks ultimately secured the win in a convincing 83-65 victory over the Huskies. Te-Hina Paopao led the Gamecocks with a dominant 21 points, shooting 5/7 from three. Connecticut’s dual-threats, Paige Bueckers and Aaliyah Edwards, scored 20 points each but were unable to clear the deficit.

However, despite the rousing game, many viewers were interested in the storyline between South Carolina’s Tess Kennedy and Connecticut’s Paige Bueckers. In the last issue, we mentioned that many felt as though this match-up was a house divided as Bueckers and Kennedy made their relationship official in June of last year. Critics were concerned whether or not they would be able to take the game seriously as a couple, although Bueckers proved many wrong with her performance. Bueckers was very focused on her game, and while Kennedy was still on the bench with only a few more weeks of ACL recovery, South Carolina did not waver. One commenter noted that Bueckers and Kennedy have been playing basketball for a very long time. They are both invested and focused on their game, and many supporters believe that they would not let off-court distractions and pressures stop them from playing their games to the highest of their ability.

In fact, Bueckers and Kennedy were spotted at the Tin Roof, a bar nearby the University of South Carolina, roughly an hour after the game ended. Insiders noted that Kennedy ordered – and take a deep breath, everyone – a soda, and that she appeared to be having a lengthy conversation with Bueckers. Out of respect, our source has elected to not share the contents of their conversation (nor would we share it!), but did tell us that Bueckers and Kennedy are “stronger than ever” despite the on-court tensions and critical narratives.

Basketball fans can rest easy knowing that Bueckers and Kennedy are committed to each other and committed to playing some electrifying basketball in the NCAA tournament. As the SEC and Big East tournaments quickly approach, viewers are excited to see where the two teams will land and we are eagerly awaiting the clash of the titans.

-Penelope Lancaster, Bleacher Report

MARCH 8, 2024

“Slow” ends up working a lot better than either of them had been expecting.

Honestly, part of Tess was worried that they’d give up on it after a day or two. She knew that she and Paige had terrible restraint around each other. It would have been far too easy to give up on trying to be mature about their situation, although they were both committed to giving it an honest shot. Things are great. Truthfully, she hasn’t felt this secure with Paige in a long time, not since Christmas and New Year’s, but even they couldn’t come close. She and Paige were locked in – for real this time – and knowing that was just so comforting.

They don’t change very much. They communicate a lot more and they’re more open about their feelings and insecurities, the two main things they had to hide from each other while they were fake dating. Paige is still affectionate, charmingly (or insufferably) flirtatious, and gets on each and every last one of Tess’s nerves. It’s not far off from how she behaved when they were “faking,” which kind of makes Tess mad – Paige’s was so fucking obvious and she just never realized, never allowed herself to entertain the thought that there was a little bit of truth to their lie. If Tess was being real, she’d have to admit that she didn’t really change, either, and she realizes she was being pretty obvious, too – she and Paige might just be a little oblivious.

February and the first week of March passes in a blur of traveling, games, and practice. The two of them make a more concerted effort to stay in touch, especially while they’re on the road, which is probably why Bree forcibly implements a “no phones after 10pm” rule when they have to room together. It’s not like they talk about anything weird – they mostly talk about Grey’s or Paige yaps about the NBA, but Bree says that Tess is “pussy-whipped” and “down bad” and that she can’t sleep through her giggling. That doesn’t happen, by the way, and Tess certainly does not giggle. Reluctantly, she adheres to Bree’s tyranny.

By the time the SEC tournament rolls around, Tess is fully cleared for play, although she’s under a minute restriction. The trust that Coach Staley has in her is honestly commendable – Tess herself would be hesitant to play her so soon after her injury and especially in a game as important as an SEC tournament one, but she’s not going to fuck up this opportunity. Both she and Coach Staley are cognizant of the five game maximum Tess needs to abide by to keep eligibility for next year. Tennessee and LSU are tough opponents and she understands that Coach would prefer to have her in these games instead of betting on making it to the NCAA tournament so Tess can play her five games there.

For the Texas A&M game, Tess is the first on the court for warmups. Tip off is an hour and a half away, so she locks in, dividing her time between shooting drills and stretching her legs while her teammates filter in. She feels good, but she’s still a little stiff. She knows there’s some lingering worry in the back of her mind – she’s healed, she’ll be fine, and she’s practiced with full contact, but playing against her teammates and the practice boys is nowhere near the same as playing against an actual opponent whose season is on the line. It will take her a couple of reps on the court before she gets hot and starts letting the ball fly, but she knows she’s not going to have a crazy game. Her main goal is to just have a good impact, whether it’s through scoring, defensive stops, or forcing contested shots.

Paige had wished her good luck and promised she would be watching. She said she would have flown out but she had her game against Providence in Rhode Island the very next day, so Tess forced her to keep her ass in Connecticut, much to Paige’s chagrin and disappointment. She swore she’d be able to make it in time. Tess was more concerned about Paige’s teammates having to deal with their sleep deprived captain and at this point in the season, the last thing the Huskies needed was Paige falling asleep during warm ups.

Warmups fly by and when tip off finally rolls around, Tess is on the bench for the first seven minutes of the quarter. When she’s subbed in for Bree, they’re up 12-9, and the resounding cheer that she receives is the loudest the arena has heard thus far. She grins as she jogs onto the court, high-fiving Bree as she passes. Texas A&M inbounds and misses, though the rebound is scooped up by Sania, who chucks it up court into Tess’s awaiting hands. She hardly thinks as she shoots. It circles the rim once before falling into Ashlyn’s grasp, whose putback is solid and puts them up 14-9, although Texas A&M is fouled in the scuffle.

She was hardly an inch off. After months off, she’s okay with that, but she knows her work is going to show. She won’t miss the second time.

Texas A&M only makes one of their two free throws. Te-Hina gets the ball and she shoots, although her shot is blocked by Janiah Barker and the ball rolls out of bounds. Te-Hina inbounds it, lobbing it to Tessa Johnson, who launches it right back to Te-Hina, who passes it to Tess, unguarded at the top of the key, and she lets it fly. The ball swishes in without much preamble and the crowd roars – Tess Kennedy’s first points back after her ACL injury. She musters a grin as she switches to defense.

Tess ends the quarter with an efficient 5 points and a steal – not bad considering her last game was last year’s Final Four. She starts the second where she’s particularly explosive – notching an additional 4 points, another steal, and an assist in the seven minutes she’s in. By halftime, she’s tallied 9 points, 2 steals, and her lone assist, but her teammates jostle and cheer and she can’t help but feel so, so good about herself – Tess Kennedy is so fucking back.

Coach Staley benches her for the first half of the third quarter, but she’s not mad. Coach already told her she wasn’t playing any more than twenty minutes and even that was pushing the limit. When she subs back in, they have a comfortable lead and she feels like she’s on fire. Kamilla and Ashlyn land three back to back layups (including an and one) in the first minute Tess is on court, and honestly, she just feeds off of that energy. On their next offensive possession, Ashlyn draws a crowd under the basket and kicks the ball out to Tess, who hardly thinks as she shoots it. It swishes in cleanly and she switches back to defense, where she forces a shot clock violation.

Texas A&M holds them scoreless until the last twenty or so seconds of the third. They’d begun to hound Tess at the perimeter, but she wasn’t going to let their suffocating defense allow them to close the lead too much. Texas A&M shoots a late three, though the ball clangs off the rim and is scooped up by Te-Hina. They have five seconds left on the clock and Te-Hina passes to Tess at the line. She dribbles, gearing up for a three, but she’s hounded on defense immediately. Tess spins out of the coverage, driving down the open lane, stepping back and letting it fly from midrange as the shot clock expires. It goes in. Tess exhales as the crowd erupts, hyped after an electrifying buzzer beater.

She sits for the entirety of the fourth, but the Gamecocks hold a comfortable lead and they secure the win 79-68. Tess closes out her first game back with a solid 14 points and 2 steals, and 3 assists. She couldn’t ask for much more. 

This was the moment she’d been working towards since May. Now that it’s here, it’s almost as surreal as her first college game ever, her first SEC win, her first NCAA championship game. Those hold a special place in her heart but coming off of an ACL injury and all of the shit she put herself through and performing at a high level just means more. If you’d asked her back in April, after she tore her ACL and was drowning in her own thoughts, she would have laughed at you and told her that it wasn’t possible. She would have said she would never play basketball again. But here she is, celebrating the first of three SEC wins that will punch their ticket directly to the NCAA tournament. It’s taken so much work to get back here, but she did it. She had some help and she’ll never forget that, but she dragged herself out of this mess as well as she dragged herself into it. That’s enough for her to be proud of.

Coach Staley makes her do the presser, which she’s less excited about, although the reporters seem to be on their best behavior today as they congratulate her on her first game back and her recovery. The reporters ask the typical questions: What adjustments did you make to stop Texas A&M’s comeback efforts? How have you adapted in practice to integrate Tess back into the plays? Will Tess play tomorrow for the Tennessee game? For once in their lives, they don’t ask anything particularly invasive, but Tess is just ready to get back to her apartment and relax after the day’s excitement.

When she does, Bree and Kamilla congratulate her one last time, wrapping her up in warm hugs as she grins at them. She makes it back to her room – finally – and turns on her phone to find several messages from Paige, ranging over the course of a few hours.

Good luck today You’re going to kill it 🫶

[Delivered 11:45am]

You look so pretty on the bench I’m getting my manager to reach out to the NCAA so they can start broadcasting bench cams I can’t focus on the game

[Delivered 12:07pm]

Tess Kennedy minutes!!! I’m so excited Lock their shit up baby

[Delivered 12:09pm]

Good shot I saw the hoop move Not your fault

[Delivered 12:11pm]

Kennedy for threeeeee Kennedy with the STEAL??? LAYUP Okay I’m On my Way! Autocorrect

[Delivered 12:13pm]

Tess reads through all of her messages, a beaming smile on her face at Paige’s goofiness. If she had this to look forward to after each game, then she’s going to show up and give everyone a show while she’s at it.

[Tess disliked “I’m getting my manager to…”]

is this tess kennedy’s biggest fan?! you should be careful i heard she has a gf

Does she?

she does they’re very locked in i dont think you have a chance

Bummer I think I could convince Tess Kennedy to give me a shot though

can you?

In lieu of a response, the FaceTime call comes through immediately and Tess accepts it with a grin. Paige’s face fills her screen, wearing a warm smile. “Hey, ma,” Paige says, her features softening. Tess can’t help her lovestruck expression. “Good game. You did amazing.”

Tess flushing, her grin growing at Paige’s words. “Thanks,” she says, her voice a near whisper. “I was just…honestly, I was just stoked to be playing again. I could have dropped a donut and turned the ball over and I still would have been happy. I get to play basketball again.”

“You do,” Paige hums, shifting slightly. “You worked so hard to get back here. Don’t forget it.”

Tess laughs gently. “I couldn’t if I tried.” Then, her face softens, her gaze so unashamedly full of adoration that Paige can see it clear as day through the phone. “My ACL led me to you. So…there were some good things that came out of it.”

Paige beams, her cheeks twinging with pink. “Yeah?” she asks bashfully. “You think that when I’m pissing you off?”

“You piss me off all the time,” Tess states. “So yes.”

Paige clutches her chest like she’s swooning, pretending to cry. “My girl says the sweetest things,” she proclaims, wiping an imaginary tear as Tess rolls her eyes affectionately. 

“Are you done?” Tess asks, amused.

“Nah. But you just dropped 14 points in a conference tournament so I’ll cut you a break.”

Tess huffs. “Thanks, Paige. I appreciate that one.”

Paige gives her a cheeky wink, her face all too smug. Tess can’t believe this is who she’s in love with, but as she watches the slow smile spread across Paige’s face as she rambles about the game, she can believe that this is who she fell in love with. Paige rounds out her sharp edges, grounds her, always challenges her, and makes her feel like she’s the most beautiful girl in the world. She believes in her unconditionally, supports her through it all, and understands her better than she understands herself. Her falling in love with Paige was always going to happen, but Paige falling in love with her, too, was something that she’d never take for granted.

APRIL 5, 2024

The last two games of the SEC tournament were incredibly tense. On March 9th, the Gamecocks battled the Tennessee Volunteers in the SEC semifinal, which was a nailbiter until the very end. At the end of the fourth, the Volunteers were up 73-71 with a little over a second left on the clock. Tess was tasked with inbounding the game ball after a foul by Tennessee – she passed to a wide open Kamilla, who, on her first three-point attempt of the season, banked it in and Tess and her teammates immediately swarmed her.

On the 10th, they were matched against LSU, which was…interesting. They won 79-72, but late in the fourth quarter, there was an intentional foul on Flau’jae Johnson that stopped the play and led to several ejections. Tess was more worried about getting her ass in position to score after MiLaysia tapped the ball out of Flau’jae’s hands, but the altercation occurred quick enough that Tess didn’t even know they were fighting until Kamilla knocked Flau’jae flat on her ass. Tess knew that this wasn’t her fight for multiple reasons. First of all, she’s 5’10 and she thought the weight room was optional until sophomore year. She is too pretty and too young to get laid out like that. Second of all, she’s not retearing her ACL by trying to throw down on the court. And third of all, she is reformed, thank you very much – she spent enough time trying to fix her image and she doesn’t think the media will be as lenient the second time around.

That’s probably why she gets turned into a meme after the game. One user on Twitter uploaded a screenshot of her standing alone in the middle of the court, hands raised in the air while everyone was fighting, and captioned it, “If I sent you this, it means that shit is not my business.” If Tess was being honest, that was pretty funny. Paige told her she made that picture her new lock screen and, well, that’s determinedly less funny since Paige’s old lock screen was allegedly a cute mirror selfie of the two of them.

As the SEC champions, they were guaranteed a place in the NCAA tournament, which Tess was stoked for. This would be her fourth year in a row back – in 2021, they fell short to Stanford by 1 point in the Final Four (goddamn Cameron Brink and Lexie Hull); they won in 2022; and Tess doesn’t even want to talk about the 2023 Final Four loss. All she knows is that they will put Iowa on a t-shirt this year (respectfully). Tess is back with a vengeance. That was her motto going into the NCAA tournament.

The first four games were cakewalks, excluding Indiana, although they pulled out a close win. Tess was on the bench until the Final Four game against NC State. She was looking forward to it for a myriad of reasons. NC State would be a challenge, but she was confident they were going to win. Combined with the fact that she and Paige would be in the same place since February, she was excited to get to spend some extra time with her girlfriend (provided they were able to sneak away). Their game wasn’t set to start until 7pm, which Tess was less than excited for. The silver lining was that she would be able to see Paige and the Huskies go head-to-head with Iowa. Tess will admit that she’s sad she won’t be the one kicking Iowa’s ass, but she and Paige share so much anyways; she can have the honor, even if Tess will lay awake at night thinking about all of the points she could have scored on her lick back game.

She and Paige managed to find the time to sneak away and spend a good few hours with each other that morning. Paige treated her to a nice brunch, much to Tess’s chagrin – Paige pays for entirely too much.

“You can get it next time,” Paige tells her, though the grin on her face was not convincing as she slid her card into the booklet and handed it off to their waitress. The smile she gave the waitress was polite and chaste, her full attention on Tess, and Tess couldn’t help but preen a little.

“I feel like you’re lying to me,” Tess grumbles good-naturedly.

“Oh, for sure,” Paige admits shamelessly, breaking out into quiet laughter when Tess rolls her eyes. Paige taps her ankle lightly with her foot, drawing Tess’s attention back up to her. “Gimme 20 tonight and I’ll let you get it. Promise.”

Tess huffs, amused as she narrows her eyes. “Let me?”

Paige shrugs. “We can do 15 if you feel like 20’s too much,” she goads, spinning the ice in her water nonchalantly with her straw. Tess’s eye twitches. Damn it.

“20’s fine,” she bites out. Paige smirks at her and she sighs, knowing she’s been baited. Paige extends her hand across the table and Tess half-heartedly shakes it.

They spend another hour together after they eat, although Tess’s coaches summon her and her teammates for some last minute film and practice. She knows that she and Paige will get to spend vastly more time together once the season ends, but leaving Paige alone in her hotel room to finish watching Grey’s feels more like leaving for war. She’d sighed when she read the text message, not really wanting to get up, but she was not in the mood to test Coach Staley.

Paige watches her get ready to go, her head propped up by a fist, her expression contemplative, soft, and sickeningly in love. If it were anyone else, Tess would have gagged, but there’s just something different about being sickeningly in love with someone and knowing that they’re sickeningly in love with you, too. Paige stares at her like she’s not dressed in sweatpants and a South Carolina hoodie, her hair in a loose bun, but the way her gaze lingers makes her feel like she’s the most beautiful girl in the world – knowing Paige, she’d undoubtedly agree, and that makes a small smile appear on her face as she slides into her shoes.

Paige catches her around the waist before she can leave fully, dragging her back down on the bed and kissing her one last time. It’s gentle, unhurried, and warm – Paige’s hand maps the flush on her cheek and she grins as they break away. “You’re gonna kill it tonight,” Paige whispers to her. She says it so confidently, so assured like it’s more fact than reassurance, and all Tess can honestly do is believe it. She tore her ACL during the last Final Four she played in, but she knows this one is different. This is the true test of her recovery, skills, and abilities; Tess Kennedy is back and everyone in the college basketball sphere will know it.

“You will too,” Tess says, kissing Paige again, only breaking away when Paige’s subsequent smile grows too large. She presses her lips to her cheek instead, squeezing her hand as she pulls away to tease, “Just don’t get too upset when we play in the championship again and I have to break your ankles.”

“Not happening,” Paige says smugly, which just makes Tess shake her head. “Gonna try to tune in for you but Coach is doing film and practice before our game. He hates me.”

“He wants you guys to win,” Tess corrects. “Maybe you should tell CD to reschedule so you can watch your girlfriend.”

Paige frowns at her. “You’d have a better chance scorin’ on me than I would convincin’ CD to do anything.”

Tess pulls away from her, an indignant look on her face. Paige laughs as Tess rolls her eyes. “Rude!” she exclaims, walking towards the door.

“Hey,” Paige calls, her laughter easing up and a more serious expression on her face. Tess turns, leaning against the wall, her smile fond as she locks eyes with Paige. “I’m serious. You got this, you know? Whatever happens, I’m proud of you. You worked so hard for this. Don’t overthink it, don’t get in your head, jus’ play your game. I love you.”

Tess feels something flip in her gut, a sort of weightlessness in her chest that makes her grin widen. She can’t help how stupid she probably looks, cheesing just because Paige told her that she loves her, but that confession is quickly becoming one of the things she never grows tired of hearing. She wouldn’t mind hearing it for the rest of their lives; Tess doesn’t care how soon it is. She’s sure that Paige is it for her. That thought doesn’t scare her at all. “Thanks, Paige,” she says, a little bashful, but Paige’s expression is understanding. “I love you, too.”

Paige blows her a cheeky kiss, which, ugh, Tess pretends to catch, but she can’t bring herself to care. And if Tess doesn’t even defend herself when Bree makes fun of her as soon as she gets to the conference room (extremely late), then that’s nobody’s business but her own.

Later that night, the NC State game goes about as well as expected.

Tess starts the first quarter, along with Kamilla, Te-Hina, Raven, and Chloe. They start the game off with an explosive five points notched within the first minute – a two pointer from Te-Hina and a three from Raven. Tess didn’t get very many touches in the first two possessions, but she played good defense and secured the steal that led to Raven’s three pointer. NC State holds them scoreless for two and a half minutes, increasing the lead to 7-5 in favor of NC State, although Kamilla ends their run early with a jumper that ties the game with just under six minutes left. A well-timed block from Kamilla sends the ball in Chloe’s direction and she scoops up the rebound, passing it to Tess on the wing, who knocks down her first three of the night. NC State ties it up again 10-10, then NC State scores off of a steal, then Ashlyn shoots, though the ball doesn’t fall and she picks up the offensive rebound. She kicks it out to Tess again, who takes a long two and it falls in. They’re tied 12-12 with about three minutes left, but Coach Staley motions for subs and Bree replaces Tess so she can get a quick breather. In the efficient seven minutes Tess was on the court, she notched five points on 100% shooting, one steal, and one assist, which was good enough for her as the Gamecocks close out the first quarter with a game-tying 3 point shot and the and 1 from Milaysia.

The second quarter starts with all of the starters back on the court, looking to retake the lead at 16-16. Kamilla and Tess are the only ones who score during the entire second quarter, which is frustrating as NC State forces four turnovers. At the end of the half, Tess has scored an additional 7 points with a few extra assists and a steal, tallying her statline at 12 points, two steals, and four assists. Kamilla accounts for an additional 16 of the Gamecocks’ 32 points.

The energy in the locker room is intense as Coach Staley fires them up, going over plays and adjustments. The shift is immediate when they return for the second half. They hold NC State to only six points in the third quarter while they score 29, increasing the score and their lead to 61-37. NC State could have an explosive fourth quarter, but Tess doesn’t plan to let that happen. While she was out with her ACL, one of the things about her game that she improved on immensely was her defense, which shows in the fourth as she ends the game with two more steals, a block, and other plays that won’t show on her stat sheet like forcing shot clock violations or contested shots. At the end of the game, confetti rains down as the Gamecocks are the Final Four winners, 78-59. Tess notched 20 of those points, only trailing behind Kamilla, who had 22. She celebrates with her team, excitement coursing through her body – she’d won the game and her bet with Paige. All in a day’s work.

She showers quickly and sits through the presser. A reporter asked her what it was like being back in the Final Four – and taking home the Final Four win – after last year’s disappointment, and all Tess could really say about it was, “It’s a blessing.” Her teammates led her here through an undefeated regular season and they trusted her enough to welcome her back on court during some of the most important games of their season – the SEC games, the Final Four. She’s overwhelmed with gratitude, appreciation, and love for the game, although her joy quickly fades when a reporter asks, “The championship match up will be between South Carolina and Iowa or South Carolina and UConn. How do you plan on facing personal conflicts of interest in either of those matches?”

Tess knows she’s trending before she even feels her face contort, although Kamilla pinches her thigh under the table and she schools her expression. She figures that the UConn conflict of interest – whatever the fuck that means – is more than likely referring to her and Paige, although she’s more confused about the Iowa one. Was it because Iowa defeated them last year and people are still trying to make it seem like Tess holds a grudge for her ACL?

Coach Staley hasn’t interrupted to say next question yet, so Tess answers it to the best of her ability. “Um, I can promise that there will be no personal conflicts of interest. I’m here to play ball. Nothing else to it. All of us, South Carolina, Iowa, UConn, whoever, we’re mature players and any off-court friendships are just that – off-court. We’re here to win. I don’t hold anything against Iowa for last year’s loss or my knee.” She leaves it at that, although the reporter was clearly expecting more, but she doesn’t care.

The rest of the conference keeps on moving until Coach Staley ends the questioning. Coach gives her a covert nod, appreciative of the way she answered the question, and Tess doesn’t wait around for any further instructions. She makes her way back out to the court, finding a seat in the stands as Iowa and UConn warms up. Paige glances up, her eyes scanning the crowd absentmindedly as she dribbles, before she finally locates Tess. There’s thousands of people in the arena already, but Tess feels like she and Paige are the only ones in the room when she smiles at her. Tess gives her a thumbs up.

Once the game finally starts, Tess is on the edge of her seat for the entirety of it. She doesn’t think she’s ever been more invested in a game she wasn’t personally playing in. Even when she was on the bench spectating her teammates while her knee was healing, part of her just couldn’t get into it fully. She was thinking about the plays, visualizing the X’s and the O’s, pondering what she would have done differently, how she would have taken that shot. Watching Paige play feels like Tess is playing, too. Whether or not Paige wins or loses this match feels personal. Tess wants this so badly for her. They’ve both been dealt a shitty hand of cards, with Paige tearing her ACL the year before Tess and missing her junior season; then Tess tore her ACL and missed 95% of her senior season.

UConn is up 19-14 at the end of the first, but it’s a hard fought 5 point lead. By the end of the half, UConn maintains a steady 6 point deficit, leading 32-26 as they go into the locker room for a much needed break and some review. The third quarter rolls around quickly and the team takes their place on court once more. It’s a tense ten minutes. Iowa finally clears the deficit and they’re tied 51-51 going into the fourth. The fourth is where Iowa truly begins to break away, leading by as much as nine points before UConn clears the gap. With a three from Nika, they’ve cut the lead down to 1 with 40 seconds on the clock. With less than ten seconds remaining, KK pokes the ball out of Hannah Stuelke’s hands, and Tess rises to her feet, all of the blood rushing to her head as she watches on with an odd combination of hope and fear.

Nika brings the ball up, passing to Paige who hands it right back, circling around to draw her defender while Aaliyah sets a screen. Tess almost blacks out when she hears the whistle. Offensive foul on Edwards. The UConn fans surrounding her clamor in disbelief, booing loudly, and all she can do is watch, her hands over her head. Tess can’t believe it’s ending like this.

71-69, Iowa. Tess still hasn’t processed it, even after watching Paige and her teammates make their way to the locker room in defeat. She doesn’t process it when the team group chat lights up, discussing how Iowa is their official natty match. She doesn’t process it when Kamilla texts her personally, extending her condolences towards Paige, but what she does process is the second message from Kamilla reading, “Get them back.” She plans on it.

Tess’s thumbs hover over her keyboard ten minutes later, trying to figure out what to say to Paige. Tess has known Paige – personally – for almost a year, but she doesn’t know how to approach her. There’s nothing she can say or do that will take back the officiating, but as a competitor, too, she knows the game shouldn’t have come down to a call or free throws. She doesn’t know if Paige wants time alone right now or if she wants someone to lean on. Tess knows she has to at least try, although Paige beats her to it before she can put her jumbled thoughts into words.

I can see you typing It’s okay

Paige’s own text bubbles blur in and out for a moment, but Tess doesn’t send anything.

Can you come to my room? After press Please I’ll kick Ice out

i’ll be there

Thank you

Tess sends a single heart emoji back, not expecting a response, and she doesn’t get one. Her heart hurts for Paige. She just went through the toughest season of her life, and it ends like this. Tess wouldn’t be satisfied. She knows Paige isn’t. But right now, she needs a moment to rest, to decompress, to feel the loss instead of sitting and giving media-approved answers for 20 minutes.

Before Tess heads out to Paige’s hotel room, she swings by the nearest gas station first, stocking up on a bunch of candies, a drink for each of them, and a pint of ice cream. She’s unsure if Paige will have an appetite after the game, but it wouldn’t hurt. Once she’s paid and all of her groceries are in their bags, Tess makes her way to the hotel to wait.

Paige doesn’t keep her waiting for too long. Tess is lounging on the bed, eating Sour Patch Kids when the door unlocks with a click. Paige shuffles in, her bag slung over her shoulder, and the look on her face is all Tess needs to see. Wordlessly, Paige drops her bag on the ground and doesn’t even kick off her shoes before she’s crawling into the bed next to Tess, wrapping her arms around her waist and laying on top of her. Her hair is still a little damp when Tess undoes the hair tie, brushing her fingers through the blonde waves, dragging her fingertips against her scalp. Paige is tense against her but she relaxes as Tess stretches out, creating a little pocket for Paige to slot her legs against.

Paige is the first to break the silence. “D’you get those gummy cluster things?” she asks forlornly. Of all of the things Tess was expecting her to say, that was not one. She can’t help her surprised laughter.

“Of course I did,” she says, pressing her lips to Paige’s forehead. “They’re your favorite.” Paige doesn’t move, but she cranes her head, her ear directly over Tess’s heart. Her arms tighten around her. “I’m sorry,” Tess says after a while.

“It’s okay,” Paige says quietly. Her voice cracks. “Shoulda never come down to that. Calls, free throws, whatever.” Tess can’t help but smile a little bit, knowing that’s exactly what Paige would say. “Gonna be sore for a while but we’re gonna be there next year.”

“You will,” Tess promises. Paige shifts her head, looking up at Tess. The expression on her face is defeated, but Tess knows Paige well enough by now that she recognizes that fire, the spark of determination in her eyes. This is just a set-back. They did the impossible, damn it. Paige led them to the Final Four after coming back off of an injury, after losing most of the team to other injuries. Countless people said they wouldn’t be able to do it and Paige proved them wrong. “You’ll lead your team to the Final Four again next year. Tell Geno to recruit someone crazy from the portal. You’ll get some pretty good freshmen next year. You’ll win the Final Four, and you’re gonna come see me in the natty tournament ‘cause I’m not making that win easy for you. But you’re gonna lead them to that win and you’re gonna kick our ass. You, one of your crazy ass freshmen, and one of your sharpshooters – Ashlynn or Azzi. Maybe both. Then they’re gonna talk about us. Romeo & Juliet, Bueckers & Kennedy, cringy shit like that.”

At that, Paige can’t help her watery laughter, her eyes shining just a little brighter. “You think that’s happening?” Paige asks, amused. “I’on know if you can put your ego aside and lose like that.”

Tess raises her finger, grinning softly at Paige. “See, I’ve thought about it. Walk with me here.” Paige hums, rolling her eyes, but her expression is unbelievably fond as she gazes at Tess. “So, here’s us. February 8th, 2021. Our first game together. You kick my ass. Then every game we played since then, I kicked your ass. Now, it’s only full circle if you win the first and the last games we play against each other collegiately. It’s, like, written in the stars. But you’re not winning just ‘cause it’s fate, you win because you drop a nuke and you have that transfer portal weapon, your scary ass freshman, and your sharpshooters, like I said. For my other point – I know I always say ‘Tess Kennedy doesn’t lose twice!’ but hear me out. If I lose to you, I’m technically winning, because I have two natty rings, then my girlfriend has a natty ring, and then in like a couple years, my girlfriend’s gonna get me an actual ring because her natty win increases her draft stock, which means she goes to a professional team and makes the big bucks. Are you following?”

Paige shakes her head. “Not at all,” she murmurs, leaning up to press a gentle kiss to Tess’s lips. Tess can’t help but smile, reciprocating, their kiss deep and unhurried until Tess remembers where they are.

She draws back, her brows furrowed. “Wait, are you for real?” she asks indignantly. “I just mapped out the next five years of our lives and you weren’t even listening?”

Paige huffs in amusement. “Little hard to focus ‘cause you basically said you wanna marry me.”

Tess clamps her mouth shut, flushing. She did say that, didn’t she? “Well,” Tess says slowly. “That’s not my main point. Unless you want it to be. But even if you do, it’s not–”

“Tess,” Paige laughs, getting serious. “You wanna?” Her voice is softer now, her eyes firmly on Tess’s.

Her blush deepens and she tilts her head back, sighing. “It’s early, I know,” she concedes. “So I know that probably freaked you out. I wasn’t thinking.”

“Not what I asked,” Paige reminds her, grinning mischievously at her. “Do you wanna?”

“I feel like I’ve known you forever,” is what Tess says instead, and Paige’s smile grows a little more adoring. “I know it’s technically only been two months officially, which makes me sound like a loser when I say it out loud. It feels like so much longer than that, though. I’ve been into you since June but honestly, I was probably into you from the start. So, I guess, yeah. I would. But like super far from now. You need to worry about kicking my ass in the championship. Then you gotta get drafted. Then you can see if I even like you in like five years from now.”

“Five years is good enough for me,” Paige says softly, leaning up to kiss Tess again. It’s gentle, tooth-achingly sweet, and feels more like a promise than anything else. When she draws back, she’s smiling at Tess. “So, you and me next year? Don’t throw the game or I’ll be mad at you forever.”

Tess scoffs. “I would never do that shit. That’s an insult to you and me. But we’re gonna be there and you’re just gonna kick our ass. And I won’t even be mad because I’ll have everything I’ve ever wanted.”

“Yeah?” Paige murmurs. “What’s that?”

“I’ve got my rings,” she says. “I mean, I’ll have my rings plural on Sunday because now I gotta get revenge on Iowa for last year and revenge on behalf of you. We’re a package deal now.”

Paige snorts affectionately. “Are we?”

Tess hums in confirmation, trying not to think too much about the lovestruck expression on Paige’s face. “So, I have my rings. I’ll cement my name in the Gamecock record books. I’ll get drafted – probably at number two, but that just means my team will suck just a little less than yours.” Paige laughs again as Tess throws up her finger in an ‘L’ shape. “But, I have you, too, now. You weren’t part of the plan. I was just supposed to ball, break some records, get drafted, do my thing.” Tess glances down, fully looking at Paige now, whose eyes are full of amusement, wonder, and warmth. “I’m glad you happened, though. I get to ball and be your girl, which I guess is a much better plan.”

“You guess?” Paige croons. Tess shakes her head, horrendously in love as Paige plants a chaste kiss on her lips, grinning against her. “‘M glad I get to ball and be yours, too. None of that I guess bullshit because I’m not ashamed of bein’ in love like you are.”

Tess rolls her eyes. “Don’t put words in my mouth, asshole. You know I love you.”

Paige’s expression turns tender, unashamedly in love as she’d said. Tess can’t help the sudden cartwheels that her heart does at the sight. “I do,” she murmurs, kissing Tess again, slow, soft, lingering. “I love you, too. So much. Thank you for bein’ here.”

“Of course,” Tess whispers, smiling at her. “I wouldn’t be anywhere else.”

And she wouldn’t. Her teammates are out celebrating their Final Four win before their next game on Sunday. She could be with them, watching film, doing more scouting, knowing that she has something to prove. But she knows she’s capable. Her teammates and coaches know she’s capable. Paige knows she’s capable, so for now, she doesn’t care about what game they’re playing on Sunday, who they’re playing, why they’re playing. She’s with Paige right now. As far as she’s concerned, nothing else matters but her. It can all wait for tomorrow.

APRIL 7, 2024

Tess is certain she’s never been more focused in her entire life. She was first on court for warmups, airpods in as she worked on her handles, footwork, and shooting. Paige even showed up shortly after she did with many of her teammates in tow – Aaliyah, Nika, KK, Ice, Ashlynn, to name a few, but Tess locked back in on her warm ups after sharing a private smile with Paige. They had plenty of time to stare at each other once Tess finished wiping the floor with Iowa.

With her warmup playlist blasting in her ears, Tess zones back in on the ball, working her way through her drills. She only pauses to stretch when her teammates start flowing in along with the coaching staff and trainers. As much as she’d prefer to be shooting right now, she takes the stretching seriously, knowing she needs to be loose for the upcoming match. There’s only an hour left before tipoff, but each and every second is spent crossing up the poor practice boys who honestly weren’t expecting Tess to be so ruthless, shooting from increasingly further distances behind the line, and working on her drives. She remembers what Paige had told her so long ago – the fake drives, the tendency to shoot purely from behind the line. She was confident Iowa would have one of their better defenders on her to shut down her three-point shooting, which is why she was going to make a conscious effort to take more drives into the paint.

Before player introductions and the starting line-ups are announced, Coach Staley grabs her by her bicep after she pulls her shirt over her head, leaving her in her jersey. “I know this game means a lot to you,” Coach Staley says, unwavering in her firm eye contact. “Don’t let it consume you. Play smart, or your ass is gonna spend the game on the bench.”

Tess nods, refocusing. “Got it,” she promises. Her coach searches her eyes before nodding, releasing her. Then, starting lineups are finally introduced with Tess gaining a round of applause that nearly rivals Caitlin’s. The two teams line up for tip-off, and soon, the game is underway. Kamilla wins the opening tip, sending it back to Chloe who passes to Raven who directs traffic to her liking. The ball is sent back to Chloe, who can’t finish at the rim, and Kate Martin scoops up the rebound. At their end of the court, Iowa passes the ball with quickness until it lands back in Kate’s hands and she knocks down the three.

Raven brings the ball up court and it bounces between Chloe, Tess, Kamilla, and then Tess once more as she steps back behind Kamilla, shooting the ball cleanly over her head for a three, tying the game. Iowa brings the ball down with Hannah trying a lay-up, although she misses, and the ball goes the other direction as quickly as it had left. Raven brings it up, but Te-Hina is a little too strong on her jumper. At the other end of the court, Kate’s two-point shot is good, totaling 5 points for Iowa to South Carolina’s 3. Kamilla’s layup is off, but Iowa’s isn’t, pushing the lead to 7-3.

It was cute at first, although Tess isn’t impressed. She didn’t rehab her knee just to trail Iowa 7-3 in the first two minutes of the national championship match. She’ll apologize to Coach Staley later, but if her teammates want to play the “run up and down the court” game, then she’ll play the “shoot the ball and score” game. She’s never this irritated at the beginning – you have to let it develop, but there’s too much riding on it to lose so early. She told Caitlin she was coming for her back in May. She basically promised Paige she’d win today, and Kamilla told her to get them back. She promised herself she’d get them back. The only way this game is ending is with Tess wearing that stupid hat for the second time.

Raven brings the ball up again, passing to Kamilla, but she’s instantly swarmed and she kicks the ball back out to Tess, waiting patiently at the wing. Caitlin’s guarding her. She watches film as much as Tess does, which is why Tess presses for the drive, faking a hesitancy that Caitlin immediately picks up on, but she commits to it at the last moment when Caitlin missteps. Tess takes it to the basket, laying it in easily, but she doesn’t spare it a second glance as she gets back on defense. Judging by the explosion of the crowd, she knows it’s gone in. At 7-5, Tess is on Caitlin like glue, getting a hand in her face and causing her two-point attempt to sail out of bounds. She hardly reacts as they inbound it. Caitlin tries to shake her off before she gets her hands back on the ball, but Tess is planted firmly. Eventually, the ball is passed to Caitlin, but Tess anticipates the step-back and swats the ball away, landing in the hands of one of her teammates. They bring it up, passing to Tess who passes immediately to Kamilla and she banks in the layup, tying the game.

While Caitlin’s bringing it up, Tess honestly expects her to pass, so she’s slow on trying to block Caitlin’s three-point attempt, which results in Tess fouling her and Caitlin being awarded three free throw attempts. A mistake on Tess’s part – Coach would get her for that later, but she extends her hands out to Caitlin to help her up. “That was for the knee,” she jokes. Caitlin huffs in amusement, though Tess taps her chest as she returns to the huddle. Caitlin makes all three shots, taking back the lead with 10-7.

The first quarter continues in a steady back and forth. Te-Hina lands a three, Caitlin responds with a layup, Kamilla misses a two-pointer. On Iowa’s next possession, Tess gets a hand in there and steals the ball from her, sprinting down to their end of the court and laying the ball in on the fastbreak. Tied 12-12, Caitlin’s bringing the ball back up and Tess is on her until Chloe calls for her to switch. With Tess now on Kate and Chloe guarding Caitlin, Chloe knocks the ball out of her hands, though one of Caitlin’s teammates secures it, lobbing it back to Caitlin, who shoots for the three and is fouled by Chloe. Tess hopes there’s not a camera honed in on her expression because there would be think pieces published about how Tess has beef with Chloe Kitts, and honestly, she might start because what the fuck was that? Tess can’t complain too much since she fouled Caitlin the same way. Everyone just needs to get in the weight room and grow a pair – all of this falling down is getting pretty embarrassing. Caitlin makes two of her three shots, and Tess is subbed out after both Chloe and Kate miss their layups.

Tess doesn’t enter the game until there’s a minute and a half left of the first quarter and the scores have evened out. Tess’s two point jumper is good when she subs back in, tallying the total 22-20 in favor of Iowa. Caitlin makes a layup, Tess responds with a three-pointer, and one last three-point shot from Iowa seals the first quarter after Tessa Johnson misses her own three.

Tess returns to the bench to prepare for the second quarter. That honestly felt like the longest ten minutes of basketball that she’s ever played before. So far, Tess has tallied 12 points, one assist, one block, and one steal. Iowa has a slim four point lead at 27-23, though Coach Staley is already drawing up some second quarter adjustments. She moves Raven to defend Caitlin and the really specific instruction of, “Pass Tess the ball” is incredibly helpful and motivating.

From then out, it’s an entirely new game. Raven’s defense is suffocating and she holds Caitlin to only three points in the second quarter. Their offense shifts with most of the point production coming from Kate, Hannah, and one single three-pointer from Sydney. South Carolina outscores them 26-19 in the second quarter, and going into halftime, South Carolina holds a slim 3-point lead at 49-46.

The third quarter passes similarly. Raven holds Caitlin to four points, South Carolina outscores Iowa 19-13, and they’ve increased the deficit to 9, leading the game with 68-59. Tess has slowed down after the first quarter. Her job is to remain consistent, and so far, she has. Her first foul on Caitlin was a mistake – Coach Staley warned her about letting it consume her, but she was too worried about trying to destroy the point gap after Iowa outscored them in the first. With 12 points in the first, 7 in the second, and a calm 6 in the third, Tess heads into the last quarter of the game with 25 points.

In the fourth, Tess gets her 30, scoring only five points in the three minutes she plays but doing a lot more defensively. Coach Staley subs her in for Bree once more and she returns to the bench, receiving a convincing round of applause. She can’t help but smile as she sits, feeling accomplished – if you’d asked her in May, she never would have thought she’d be back here after tearing her ACL. She would have wondered if you were the one high off anesthesia if you told her she had to fake date Paige Bueckers, and she honestly wouldn’t have believed you either if you told her that she’d fall in love with Paige Bueckers, either – but life has a incredibly strange way of working. She trusts her teammates to secure the win and her confidence grows as they keep increasing the gap.

They know they’ve won once all of the starters return to the bench with applause. The final buzzer is only formality and Tess quickly gets lost in the celebration, cheering with her teammates, accepting the corny ass hats, and taking picture after picture with the glimmering trophy. But she grows tired of it quickly – at this point, winning had simply felt like a job she needed to do, as terrible as it sounds. She cared more about proving herself after her injury. As much as she wants to joke about it being a revenge game, it never was – not for herself, not for Paige. Neither of them are keen on revenge, more focused on getting better and taking the win for themselves, for the teammates, for all of the hard work they poured into training to get here. Part of her really wants to celebrate for Paige. Tess wouldn’t be here without here, but Paige would tell her that’s not true. She knows this moment is for her and her team, for the players leaving, for the younger players with the hope of a repeat next year. So she soaks it all in, trying to relish in the win.

Once it all dies down, she ducks back into the tunnel, looking forward to a hot shower so she can get through the subsequent presser. The quicker she’s in bed, the better, but her plan derails again when she finds Paige, alone, leaning against the wall across from the locker room. The blonde’s smile grows when she spots Tess. She lengthens her strides, falling into Paige’s open arms with a startling swiftness. Tess knows she’s gross and sweaty, but Paige doesn’t seem to care, the scent of her cologne making her head spin. “Congrats, Tess,” she whispers, her voice reverent and soft. She leans back to look at her with a mischievous expression. “30 points? Who you showin’ out for?”

Tess rolls her eyes. “Please shut up,” she says, not letting Paige say anything else as she pulls her down a few inches, capturing her lips in her own. Tess knows that this win should mean more to her….but it doesn’t. It’s a national championship win, her second of her collegiate career, and she just dropped 30 points on a tough opponent. She worked her ass off to get here. She spent several months in rehab, several weeks trying to get over the alcohol dependence, and an uncomfortably long time trying to figure out how to love herself and others when she was at her lowest. And she knows it’s corny, that she sounds horrendously down bad, but she feels more like a winner in Paige’s arms than she did holding up that fucking trophy.

Paige draws her in by her waist, eliminating the space between them completely, tilting her head for better access and Tess can’t help but give in to her. This is what she worked so incredibly hard for. She worked hard to be able to play basketball again – and she did. She worked hard to be the kind of person that Paige Bueckers deserves – and, well, the jury’s still out on that one, but Paige loves her, so maybe she’s doing something right. Paige smiles against her, one hand reaching up to cup Tess’s cheek, deliberately slowing them down. Their kiss turns more tender, unhurried, and Tess can feel the remnants of it down to her toes when Paige pulls back, squeezing her gently. “You and me, same time next year?” Paige murmurs.

At that, Tess can’t help but laugh. She presses one last kiss to Paige’s lips, feeling her smile grow as she promises, “Same time next year.”

[jehhskz]

Love Again - Part 2

she fell first, and she fell harder

summary: you just got back to Seoul, and hopefully you'll get back into his heart too

genre: romance, fluffy cliche, second chances, smut

warning: this fic contains smut, so it was made for adults only, MDNI.

jé's note: did a little something super self indulgent, if you read this, please be kind, it's my first time and english isn't my first language. huge thank you for my girlies for all the support, special thanks to @doitforbangchan & @jeonginsleftcheek for beta reading it, your words made me happy. and it got a little big, so i had to split it into 2, the link for part 1

divider by @saradika-graphics

After the passport issue, Joo-wan rearranged for you to go with the boys to Japan. At first you were excited, making plans just like you did for Australia, but now you were desperate texting everyone from the staff team to go on your behalf, but unfortunately, everybody already had their own plans they couldn’t cancel. 

You wanted to cry, you didn't want to be near Hyunjin, you didn't want to hear his voice, didn't want to see him, because you knew you wouldn't be able to hold back the tears, like you weren't now, already feeling them falling down your cheeks. 

You were watching everyone's close friends stories, loving to see the boys partying and having fun, you chuckled seeing the picture Changbin posted of him carrying Hyunjin in their ‘honeymoon’ as he captioned, Joo-wan video dancing to My House by 2PM was amazing, but something you saw in the back caught your attention: Chae-hee going upstairs hugging Hyunjin, your laughing stopped and your heart sank.

Then it was Na-yeon's video with Minho, they appeared in the back again, a new angle, making their way to the stairs, Hyunjin's arm was thrown over her shoulder. But the worst was yet to come.

Heyoon rushed home as soon as she finished her work, finding you crying, curled in your bed, she laid behind you, a comforting hand gently tapping your shoulder as you told her all about it. It all started when you saw the green neon ring, Chae-hee added you to her close friends.

There was a picture of Hyunjin, his back turned to the mirror, you couldn’t see his face, but Chae-hee’s, she was hugging him, head resting on his shoulder and she had her tongue out, looking directly at the mirror as she took the picture. 

Next one was them lying in bed, it was mostly their faces but you could still see the clothes on, he had his eyes closed and a slight smile, Chae-hee was doing a peace sign and winking, she wrote ‘the best day’ on it. 

Then the last one made your stomach twist, it was the day after, Chae-hee made a video, Slow Down by Chase Atlantic was playing, it was blurry at the beginning but it was clearly Hyunjin lying there, peacefully sleeping, then she turned the camera, giggling and blowing kisses, wearing nothing but his robe, the Hyunjin engraved appearing as she stopped in front of the mirror, ending the vídeo. 

Timing's really a bitch. As you saw the grey bar of that last stories coming to an end, you got a new message:

Jagiya: about to catch the flight, missing you 😘

The pang in your heart got worse. 

~ {♡} ~

“Oh my God, Na-yeon!” Chae-hee grabbed the younger by her arms roughly “How many times do I have to tell it's three steps then turn to the right, not to the left!” 

“I'm sorry, Chae-hee. I'll pay more attention from now on” Na-yeon's voice was shaky.

“You better, we are about to debut, mistakes like this aren’t supposed to happen” Chae-hee glanced at the girls, as if warning.

Their music was still playing and the volume was up, so they only realized the door was opened when you stepped in. Chae-hee was still gripping on Na-yeon's arms, her long nails digging on the flesh, she let go of her roughly when she saw you. 

Her grip quickly turned into an embrace, a stupid attempt to fool you or whoever walked in that nothing was happening.

“Oh, excuse me” You said as you rushed to the couch “I forgot my water bottle here” 

Of course, of all the people, you had to run on Chae-hee, you didn't notice her grin when she saw you, so triumfant for the way you and Hyunjin fell apart, but you surely noticed the fear in Na-yeon's eyes, when she glanced at you and then your suspicious were confirmed, there it was: the last strike.

With a last glance before closing the door, Chae-hee smirked, waving at you. 

Enjoy while it lasts Chae-hee, that smirk will vanish your lips really soon, you thought while you waved back and closed the door.

Now, all you needed was to come with a plan to gather proof. And tag along with the Hyung Line for their solo mv's shooting, a full group mv shooting, going to do christmas shopping, attend a birthday party all in the meanwhile keep avoiding Hyunjin. Ugh, the end of semesters can be so tiring.

~ {♡} ~ 

You were acting weird, Hyunjin realized it as soon as you reunited after he came back from Australia, barely hugging him when you met at the company, which at first he thought it was because there was people around, but then you were taking longer and longer to answer his texts, so cold and distant, so different from your usual bubbly self. 

Then, you'd give excuses to not be alone with him and didn't even bring coffee for the boys as you usually did. At first he didn’t pay much mind, you were probably pmsing, Hannah would always get moody around this time of the month, Chan told him.  

But damn, how long does a pms lasts? The weeks were passing and it only seemed like you were becoming more distant, more strange. 

He was looking gorgeous, yeah you thought it all the time, but this time, wearing a crop top, he was just extra good, the sight of his abs making you want to cry, because there was nothing you wanted more than kiss and lick the exposed skin. And he knew it, so the fact you didn't push him inside the nearest storage room was weird af. 

Also, what were you doing typing so fast and with your eyes glued on your phone all the time?

Annoyed, during the break from filming, he grabbed the device from you, his fingers wrapped around your wrist and he pulled you inside a storage. 

“Hey, what are you doing? Are you crazy?” You were surprised as you watched him close the door, lean on his back and scroll through your phone, reading your messages.

“All good… will be great… you know the place?… see you tomorrow… can't wait?” He was reading your texts aloud. 

“It seems like you're being the crazy one here” He stared at you “Are you cheating on me?” 

Hyunjin's audacity was something you always loved, but right now?

It was annoying you beyond limits.

“What?” Your eyes widened as you heard his question, he couldn’t be serious “Are you insane? Of course not!” 

“Then what the fuck is this?” He showed the screen to you, your chat with Min Kyu on display. 

“It's just some work stuff” You shrugged and he rolled his eyes.

“Some work stuff?”

“Yeah”

“Just that?” He insisted, hoping you'd tell him what exactly you've been up to, but instead you just nodded and then stayed silent.

“So this is how it's going to be? We've got secrets from each other now” He scoffed, running his hand through his hair. 

“Yeah, I guess so” You crossed your arms in front of your chest “You didn't seem to care when it was your turn” 

“Oh my God, y/n. Is it still about Chae-hee? I told you, I didn’t tell you she was there because it wasn't a big deal!” His tone was hard, he was annoyed you were still holding grudges.

That was what it was for him, no big deal. He cheated on you, he fucked Chae-hee and it wasn't a big deal. 

“Right, no big deal. The party? No big deal either” You scoffed.

“Yeah, it’s nothing serious either, you get drunk and those stuff happens” 

No big deal. Stuff happens.

You clenched your fists, his luck was him being at work, and being called by another staff that was looking for him. 

“Don't think we're done, because we aren’t” His voice was cold, he was clearly mad at you, as if he had any right to be, you thought. 

But he still grabbed your jaw to hold you in place and gave you a quick kiss before leaving to film.

Proving your heart and brain weren’t connected, you kissed him back and it made you even more annoyed.

You were avoiding him the majority of time and would have left if Hyunjin didn’t predict that and walked away with your phone, forcing you to wait until he finished filming.

Hyunjin was mad because you were being a brat for no reason. If there was a person who had the right to be mad at him, it was Felix, and the boy was completely fine.

No, Hyunjin wasn’t a heartless bitch like you were thinking, it was simply that you and him had different pov’s of what happened in Australia. 

Every story has two sides: what people remember and what really happened. 

You knew Chae-hee and Hyunjin's side, now let's go back to that night and find out who was speaking the truth.

~ {♡} ~

“You're so cute, I'm gonna eat bread” Hyunjin threw himself over Jeongin, disheveling the younger's hair. 

“Noo, leave me alone” Jeongin held his hands, and Hyunjin sniffed him, murmuring against his head that his hair smelled good.

“I think you should stop drinking” Jeongin said as he fixed Hyunjin's posture, sitting him properly on the couch. 

Hyunjin nodded and then leaned on his back. 

“No more drinking” He smiled cheekly.

“Seriously, you had enough” Jeongin laughed.

“Inniee, when am I not being serious?” Hyunjin threw his hands up, then looked at Jeongin when the boy opened his mouth to reply “Don't!” 

After a few minutes, Hyunjin seemed to be fine, he told Jeongin he didn’t need to worry and that he would head to their room soon. He wasn’t too drunk, it was okay to leave him alone, so Jeongin thought he could make a quick stop at the kitchen. 

“Hey there” Hyunjin jolted when Chae-hee sat beside him, making her giggle, she held out a drink for him.

“No, thanks. I'm fine” He waved, but she kept her hand still.

“Please Hyun, I insist” She smiled at him “Just a toast, uh? To celebrate the success of the tour” 

He looked at her and then at the cup. 

“Please?” She batted her eyelashes and he thought why not, just a cup wouldn’t be bad, he took it and she grinned.

“Cheers!” She clinked their cups, eyes locked with his as they drank.

Her breath caught in her throat when his face twisted, but she breathed again when she saw he kept drinking.

Just one drink became a few more, until Hyunjin got tired and stood up, he tripped when he took a step. Chae-hee quickly stood up and held him.

“Hey, easy there, buddy” Chae-hee giggled, placing his arm over her shoulder and wrapping her arm around his waist. 

“C'mon, I'll help you” And just like that, she guided him towards the stairs.

Jeongin saw them going, but since he didn’t know about you and him being together and knew about Chae-hee's interest in Hyunjin, he didn't pay much mind. 

Entering the room Chae-hee saw the mirror next to the door and smirked, she turned Hyunjin to stand facing her, hugging him and quickly snapped a picture. 

Too drunk to notice, he plopped down on the bed as soon as she let him go, and she laid by his side.

Chae-hee tried to lean closer to him, but he turned to the other side.

She tried again, using her hand to turn his face to her but he turned back again. Chae-hee scoffed and sat down, crossing her arms, thinking.

“Hyun, why are you being so cold with me? Don’t you like me anymore?” Chae-hee whispered, looking down at him, Hyunjin didn’t say a thing.

The girl grabbed her phone and clicked on the filming icon, hopefully she could take a good screenshot later. She laid back again.

“Is it because of y/n, isn't it?” Hyunjin smiled when she mentioned your name.

“I remember the way you used to look at me, watch me practice…” Her breath hit his neck, making him chuckle slightly and shift away. 

“You wanted to fuck me, didn't you?” She teased him and he drunkenly nodded, Chae-hee smirked.

“Well, I’m here now, this is your chance” Chae-hee shrugged, seeing he didn’t make a move, she tugged him by his shirt, pulling him closer to her, throwing a leg over his, ‘side straddling’ him. 

He groaned, placing a hand on her waist and Chae-hee smirked. 

“Chae-hee?” Hyunjin whispered and she leaned closer.

“Yes, Hyun?” Her voice was sultry, she closed her eyes, leaning even closer.

“I'm gonna…” But he didn’t finish the phrase, because he started vomiting.

“Ewwww” Chae-hee screamed and scooted away from him like a flash “What the fuck??” 

Hyunjin rolled on his back again, his eyes still closed. 

Chae-hee got off the bed with a jump, her face twisted when she looked at the mattress, but then her gaze landed on the Versace robe thrown over a chair and it gave her an idea.

Luckily she decided to wear a sleeveless top tonight, so when she took her jacket off and wore the robe, positioning her phone on the right angle it gave the illusion she was bare under it. Perfect.

Taking a last glance at him, she assumed he fell asleep, because he didn’t shift. So, Chae-hee took the robe off, threw it back on the chair and rushed outside of the room.

She ran into Felix as she was heading back to the stairs, and he believed her lame excuse of the bathroom downstairs being occupied. He was sharing the room with Hyunjin, and was just about to find his drunk friend there. 

~ {♡} ~

It was usual for some idols to have a ‘favorite’ practice room, some would say the aura was different, it gave them good luck and such things. For Chae-hee, her preference for that practice room was because she heard Jong-ho - her staff - saying the security camera stopped working a few months ago.

After you confirmed your suspicions about Chae-hee abusing Na-yeon, you knew you needed more than words to prove it. Learning the camera wasn't working felt very disappointing, but also made sense why that room was always reserved for LuaX. 

You knew Na-yeon wouldn’t have the guts to expose Chae-hee, so you had to come with a plan C, and that's when you texted Min Kyu, being a software engineer, he surely would know what to do. 

Not telling anyone about your plan was difficult, you hated keeping secrets, especially from Hyunjin, but you thought he would think you were just trying to get rid of Chae-hee because you were being jealous, he also didn’t tell you she was there in Australia, and Hyunjin had a lot of chances to, and then… he fucked her there, and couldn’t even man up and tell you he fucked up and apologise or break up. 

Jagiya: where are you? 

To avoid curious eyes, you and Min Kyu met up at the agency on saturday morning, a day you knew the company would be almost empty. 

“Are you sure this will work?” You asked, watching him sat down on the floor, installing a micro camera inside an electrical outlet. 

“You'd be surprise with the quality” He looked up and smirked “Why don't you pick the laptop, I'll move around for you to check?” 

“Okay” You went to sit down on the couch and put the laptop on your thighs “Is this C34 program?” 

“Yeah, just click and it will start automatically” 

“Alright” You clicked and the vídeo player appeared on the screen, you saw the room and Min Kyu walking around perfectly.

“It's great!” You clapped, watching him jumping around and you chuckled.

Jagiya: what do you mean you aren’t coming tonight?

Jagiya: yongbok just told me

Jagiya: why aren't you replying to my messages?

Jagiya: never mind, be ready at 7, i'm coming to pick you up

You: don’t, i’m not going

~ {♡} ~ 

Hyunjin went, and now it was 7:20, you left him on the couch, but he moved to your bedroom, lying in your bed while you were in the shower, because there was no way you’d appear on the holiday festivities of the team wearing sweatpants. Your little jolt of surprise when you walked in and saw him there didn't go unnoticed by him, who laughed even more when you opened your drawer and closet to pick your clothes.

“You can change here, you know?” He said cheekly “It's nothing I've never seen before”

“No!” Your exclamation before shutting the bathroom's door made him chuckle.

You looked pretty, Hyunjin thought when you came back all dolled up, wearing an army green top and dark wash jeans that matched his and black boots. You were putting on your earrings when he got up.

“You're looking good” Hyunjin said as he stood behind you. 

“Thanks, you look good too” He was wearing a light blue shirt that you were pretty sure was from Versace. 

“I know” His cocky grin appeared. 

You looked at you both in the mirror. He wasn’t supposed to be here first place, but damn, why was it so hard for you to ignore him? Why did you have to be the weakest soldier?

Maybe, just maybe… you had hoped it all was a huge misunderstanding, but then…

You saw the photos, the video, how could you still be so delusional if there was proof? 

And why did he keep acting like nothing happened? He didn't have any consideration for you? 

If Chae-hee didn't post, he'd be fooling you all this time. This realization made your heart sink. 

Chae-hee was still a major bitch, of course, but she actually did you a favor, showing you his true colors.

“Where's your car?” You looked around when you left the house, then turned to face him.

“It's home, I’ll be drinking so I’m not driving tonight” His phone buzzed and he grabbed it from his pocket, he smiled.

“Great, Felix's coming” Hyunjin threw an arm over your shoulder and you shivered, but instead of hugging him back, you crossed your arms in front of you.

“Don't you think you're exaggerating?” You couldn’t tell if he was teasing you or being serious. Either way, it annoyed you.

“I mean, I get you're jealous, it was even kind of cute before, but now it's starting to piss me off” You shifted away from him.

“Well, if I'm bothering you so much, why don't you go out with Chae-hee instead?” You saw him roll his eyes, leaning back against the wall “You two seemed to have so much fun together”

“Damn it y/n!” He ran his hand through his hair and then pointed at you “See? That's why I didn’t tell you she was there, because you'd start a tempest in a teapot” 

“Ohh so now it's my fault?” 

“I was thinking about you and…” His tone was raising, but you interrupted him.

“Thinking about me? I think I was the last thing crossing your mind while you were there distracting her!” 

“I told you I accepted to go out because she was crying, she’s about to debut, that’s not easy y/n, I've been there, I know how it feels!” 

“So being the great person you’re, you were just comforting her…” He nodded, despite your ironic tone “Hyunjin's so great, taking his little friend to get ice cream, yeah”

“I know she wasn't sucking just popsicles!” You snapped and his eyes widened. 

“What do you mean?”

“The party, Hyunjin. Stop trying to fool me, I know everything, Chae-hee posted you and her together!” 

Hyunjin had no idea about what you thought that happened at the party, until now. Damn, he barely had any memories from it, aside from some flashes of him dancing, drinking and the worst headache he ever felt on the next day.

“But y/n, I didn’t… I…” 

“Shhh, do us both a favor and don't even start!” You waved him off, turning away, just a little more and you knew you'd be pathetically crying in front of him.

He didn’t have much time to think or even say anything else, because Felix's car was just turning the corner and driving down the street.

You stayed silent the whole drive to the restaurant, staring out of the window and wiping the insistent tears that would escape, glad your mascara was waterproof.

~ {♡} ~ 

Some of the staff and the boys were already there when you arrived. You made sure to sit with Changbin and Chaeryeong, staying very far away from Hyunjin, avoiding even looking at his way.

Joo-wan was grilling the beefs, Seungmin was making sure no one’s cup was empty and you were concealing your sadness really well, enjoying the chat with your friends. 

During the drive there, Hyunjin tried to remember the details of that night, he remembered Chae-hee being at the party, she had some drinks with her, he tripped and then he was already in bed. He remembered her talking to him…

And that was all. He was sure he didn’t do anything, there was no way, but what the hell were those stuff you said you saw? 

That was the question burning in the back of Hyunjin's head… until the alcohol kicked in.

“Alright, alright. Time to reveal our resolutions for next year!” Changbin exclaimed excitedly.

“Are we finally seeing your abs?” Minho teased, making everyone laugh.

“Wait, what resolutions?” Jisung's eyes got wide.

“I have no idea” Jeongin chuckled. 

“Well, you'd know what I'm talking about if you checked the group chat” Changbin said, annoyed and the boys laughed.

“Which reminds me, where's our list from last year? We gotta check if we achieved it or not” He looked over everyone and nobody had a clue.

“Wait, wasn't Han responsible for that?” Seungmin questioned and Jisung grabbed his phone, checking the notes.

“Oh shit, I lost it” He whined.

“Jisung's resolution: stop losing things!” Minho chuckled when Han cursed him.

“Now Chan, what's your plans for next year?” Changbin turned to the older.

“Okay, let’s see…” Chan thought for a moment “Next year I plan on fixing my sleep”

“I'll learn english!” Minho raised his hand.

And so it went, Chaeryeong was taking notes as everyone would list their resolutions. 

“Next year I won’t let people use me as they please” You said looking directly at Hyunjin and despite being drunk, he understood it right away.

“Ohh that's a good one!” Joo-wan high fived you.

“Next year I'll talk to my partner instead of jumping to conclusions” It was Hyunjin's turn, and he stared at you too.

“Oh yeah, communication’s important” A drunk Jeongin nodded.

“I won’t need to jump into conclusions because my partner won’t give me reasons to be suspicious of him” You looked at him again.

“Yes, we love reassuring men!” Nabi, another staff member, clapped. 

Han and Felix exchanged looks.

“I'll wear more crop tops on stage!” Jeongin said completely oblivious to the tension going on.

“I won’t waste my time with a girl who doesn't trust me” Hyunjin scoffed.

“Yeah, if she doesn’t trust you, she isn't worth it” Joo-wan said and Hyunjin right at you as he nodded.

You couldn’t tell what hurted more, Hyunjin's cold tone or him calling you a waste of time. 

“Oh, you'll definitely have plenty of options to pick, let’s just hope you're smart enough to make the right choice and not let bitches use you again” You hissed and Hyunjin scoffed.

“Okay, this is getting a bit personal” Changbin whispered to Chaeryeong.

“Are they dating?” She whispered back at him and he was about to answer when you stood up and left.

“Uhh, don’t think so anymore” Changbin whispered and they both watched as Hyunjin stormed off after you seconds later.

“Y/n!” You froze for a moment when you heard Hyunjin call you.

“Don't waste your time coming after me!” You started walking again, your heels clicking as you stepped determined to the garbage cans. 

“What are you doing?” Hyunjin shouted when he saw you trying to pull the ring he gave to you. His fingers brushed his own automatically. 

“What looks like I'm doing?I'll throw this off!” You hissed, struggling to take the ring off of your finger. You cursed under your breath, it was stuck.

You tried some more, whining but wouldn’t give up until you took it off. Gazing at him, your closed hand reached the recycle bin and you opened, the ring making a clink sound as it hit the bottom. 

“Y/n, what the fuck did you do?” His eyes widened and he shouted, grabbing you by your shoulders.

He let go of you and went to the bin, trying to shove his arm inside to take it back. 

Luckily all the trash was collected earlier and the bins were sanitized. 

“You know what? Why don't you take the opportunity since you're already there and throw yourself too?” You crossed your arms in front of yourself.

“But not on this one, no, no. Let's be organized, dildos belong to that one!” You kept running your mouth, pointing to the plastic ones.

He ignored you, too worried about taking the jewel back.

“Damn it, y/n. It was expensive!” Hyunjin shouted again, he took a few steps back, running his hands through his hair. 

You shut your mouth, reality kicked in, the ring wasn't a simple one you can buy on those little tents on the street.

It was a jewel, original, a whole year of your salary worth it.

Oh shit.

“Oh my God, I fucked up, I fucked up” You cried out, taking large steps to the bin you threw it and leaning onto it.

In your attempt to trying to reach, you were almost falling inside “I'm so fucked up, I belong in the trash too” 

“Y/n, stop…” Han was making his way coming to you.

“Shh, don’t!” Hyunjin stopped him, grabbing him by his shoulder “She started, now she finishes it!” 

“Dude, what if she hurt herself?” Both looked at you, butt up in the air, half body almost all in, struggling.

“Ugh, okay. Fine” Hyunjin walked to you and grabbed you by your waist, easily carrying you out.

“Y/n, enough!” His voice was cold as he hissed at you.

“Nooo, let me go. I fucked up, I need to go to the trash” You cried out, trying to escape him.

“Okay” He rolled his eyes and opened his arms, letting you go. 

“Hunf, too bad there isn't a bin for toxic garbage here” He scoffed under his breath after seeing you sit down in front of the paper recycle bin. 

“Y/nnie, what are you doing now?” Han rubbed his temples, stopping by your side.

Han sighed when he saw you hug your knees and noticed the tears running down your face. C'mon, he was tired, it was late, he just wanted to go back home.

“Hyunjin said I'm toxic, I'm not worth even being recycled!” You sobbed, pointing at him.

“Dude, what the fuck, why are you being mean to y/nnie?” Felix turned to his friend, and Hyunjin's smirk suddenly faded, giving room for the tears appearing in the corner of his eyes.

“Oh shit, what am I doing?” He snapped and when you realized, he was sitting by your side.

“Don't get near me, I'm radioactive, I’ll contaminate you with my toxicity!” You nudged him away. 

“Y/N, HYUNJIN!” Felix's deep voice brought you both attention to him.

“Oh Felix” Hyunjin blushed slightly, giggling.

“Enough of this bullshit, the both of you. Stand up, we're leaving now!” Felix didn't need to order twice, you and Hyunjin quickly obliged.

Hyunjin started following Felix and you followed Han, stopping in your tracks when you realized they were heading to the same car. Han held you by your shoulders, preventing you from running and led you to Felix's car.

~ {♡} ~

Felix drove everyone to his place, and he and Han helped the two of you to get inside. 

“Shit, they are still drunk” Felix complained to Jisung, as he sat Hyunjin by your side on the bed, the other hands playing with the pedants from his necklace.

“I told you it wasn't a good idea to let them drink that bottle of soju. Why did you have that in your backseat, anyways?” Han looked at Felix with his eyes widened, Felix having a bottle in his car was really random, just like that whole night. 

“Are you an angel, Yongbok?” Hyunjin twirled his finger in the blonde's necklace, whispering, mesmerized with the shining pendant. 

“Stop it” He pushed Hyunjin's hand away and took a step back “It was a gift, I forgot it was there until y/nnie found it and chugged half of it before Hyunjin could steal it from her” 

Meanwhile you were a crying rambling mess, trying to calculate how you'd survive without a paycheck.

“Ugh, they are annoying me. Maybe we should push them under the shower, to sober them up” Han sighed, he was really tired.

“Hey hey, nobody's gonna take y/n's clothes off” He pushed the boys off and stopped in front of you, his hands pushing your jacket off your shoulders “Only I can do it” 

“Stop it! Only my boyfriend can undress me” You snapped and pushed him to the side.

He lost his balance and fell on the bed, rolling on it, he groaned dramatically as if you hurted him. You watched the scene unfold in slow motion: Hyunjin rolling off the edge, your hand reaching out to prevent him from falling, losely grabbing his hair, the strands slipping through your fingers and him hitting the floor causing a thud that made you jolt.

“Oh no, Jinniee. Are you okay?” You peaked over the mattress worried, holding your hand out for him who accepted it. 

“I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you” You drunkenly cried out, helping him get back and lay down. 

Hyunjin murmured something you didn't understand and threw his arms around your neck, swiftly pulling you to him, making you fall.   

“I missed you so much, love” His voice was low and muffled as he had his face buried in your hair, but you heard it loud and clear, your heart jumped. 

“Me too, jagi. Me too” You softly murmured, a hand reaching up and gently caressing his cheek, he purred.

“That’s just like ferrets sleep, you know? I saw it in the Nature Channel” Jisung chuckled to Felix, who picked up his phone and snapped a picture of you sleeping entangled with each other. 

“Although with those biteable cheeks,y/nnie looks more like a quokka” Felix chuckled, he beckoned to Jisung for them to leave the room.

“Nighty nighty, sweet dreams babies” He said cheekly after turning the lights out and then he closed the door. 

~ {♡} ~

It was past noon when you woke up, the rays of light escaping through the curtains annoyed you, so you decided to turn around and then you realized not only you weren’t at your bedroom but also weren’t alone. 

Although his grip on your waist got tighter, Hyunjin was still sound asleep as you turned around facing him. You opened your eyes slowly and sighed looking at him, sleeping so cutely, a strand of his hair fell in front of his face and you gave in the urge to brush it off, fingertips gently caressing him and he sighed.

So cute, doesn't even look like you test my patience 24/7, you thought, still caressing his face. You leaned a little closer, wanting to kiss him, like you used to do before, but then your gaze fell on your hand, the absence of your ring being a hard confirmation that the last few weeks weren’t just a bad dream. 

“You know it’s rude to stare” His hoarse voice made you jolt and you rolled away.

“I wasn’t staring” You scoffed.

“Yeah, right” He chuckled, his eyes still closed as he stirred up like a cat.

You heard knocks on the door and when it opened, Felix appeared covering his eyes.

“Wakey wakey, are you decent?” He said cheekly and you saw Hyunjin's grin when he tossed a pillow at his friend.

Felix grabbed the pillow and threw himself on the bed, between the two of you. 

“I came to say that lunch's ready” 

“Lunch? What time is it?” Your eyes widened and you covered your mouth in surprise.

“It's 1pm” Felix chuckled and leaned forward, disheveling even more your hair “Seems like you had a great night of sleep” He teased.

“Shut up” You used your pillow to hit him.

“My head hurts” Hyunjin complained and Felix touched his forehead.

“Poor baby, c'mon. Let's eat some lunch, you're gonna feel better” He pouted at the brunette.

As a big fan of their bromance, deep down you were loving the private hyunlix session, but you had to stop watching their chat to go to the bathroom. 

Downstairs, Seungmin and Han were finishing settling the table, the delicious aroma of the food made you float towards the dinner table. After enjoying your meal, you offered to wash the dishes, and while you were drying the plates, something small and shining on the counter island caught your attention.

“Is it mine…” Your fingers were just about to touch the ring when Hyunjin covered it with his hand and pulled it to him.

“It's mine now” His smirk didn't meet his eyes as he put the ring on. Felix and Jisung rescued the jewel earlier this morning.

“Yeah, of course” You whispered, looking down, it would be too much audacity of yours to do that whole scene and still want the ring back.

You weren’t even together anymore. 

You weren’t even together anymore,

wow, it's real and official now.

~ {♡} ~ 

Every night after work you grabbed your fluffy blanket, something good to eat and snuggled up on the couch to keep up with C34 like it was Netflix. As if it was a stupid trick of destiny, nothing happened.

Day after day, Chae-hee seemed to be… Lovely, with the girls. 

Hugging them, hyping them up, bringing them water and snacks, that Chae-hee made you wonder if you were overreacting, if what you saw that day was just an isolated event, but what about the other times Na-yeon seemed to be hurt? It couldn’t be a coincidence.

And it wasn't. 

One night, you were smiling, watching Minho and Na-yeon chatting, then he gave her a quick kiss before running out, the girls appeared minutes later. Your smile stayed in your face as you watched them dancing, they were really good.

Their song was catchy and you were dancing on your spot when it happened, Chae-hee pushed Na-yeon down and the girl fell on her butt. You stopped and leaned closer, paying attention you saw Chae-hee was yelling at her, then another member approached and helped Na-yeon get up, you recognized her it was Ha-ri, she said something to Chae-hee and then covered herself with her arms as Chae-hee stepped up ready to smack her.

You clicked a few times and then the video was saved on the cloud. Your gaze went to the calendar, marked with a star was the date of their presentation pre-debut, which meant they would do a pocket show for the big names in the industry, a little warm up before the actual debut, a little something before their names would drop and their faces would be all over the internet. 

~ {♡} ~ 

“Relax, you're gonna do great!” Minho whispered in Na-yeon's ear, he was hugging her when you walked in.

You laughed slightly when he broke away from her, tapping her shoulder.

“Uh, I'm going to meet up with the boys. Keep up, fighting!” You both waved him bye and you turned to face a tomato-like Na-yeon.

“Ohh, special support from the boys? Sounds nice” You said cheekly and Na-yeon waved her hand in a silent plea for you to stop teasing her and you chuckled.

“So, where's the girls?” You leaned against the vanity, absentmindedly playing with the makeup brushes with your fingers.

“They went grab something to eat and will be here soon” Na-yeon sat on the little couch there and you realized her shoulders were trembling slightly.

“Don't be nervous, Na-ye. Everything will work fine, I saw you dancing and you're really good” You smiled at her and she smiled back.

Na-yeon opened her group's chat and saw a picture Chae-hee sent of the boys waiting for their presentation, the older one made a heart around Hyunjin and sent a screenshot of a text where she basically intimated him to come. She sighed, putting her phone down.

“Y/n, can we meet up for a coffee later?” Na-yeon said shyly, fidgeting the hem of her skirt.

“Sure, I would love to! Coffee's on me, let's celebrate your debut” Seeing Na-yeon's shyness, you assumed she finally gathered courage to share what was happening in her group.

Maybe she was finally ready to ask for help? This would be such a sweet surprise to her, you both would celebrate Chae-hee's departure, but you couldn’t tell her that yet.

But Na-yeon didn't plan on talking about the abuse she has been suffering, the reason she invited you was because she thought you were a good person and didn't deserve what Chae-hee did to you and Hyunjin, so she'd tell you what really happened during their time in Australia.

The door opened and you saw the girls entering, giggling and teasing each other, Chae-hee smirked when she saw you.

“Y/n, what a nice surprise. Came to support us?”

“I wouldn’t miss it for anything” Your smile was genuine, you were really eager to watch them on stage.

You checked on your phone, just a few more minutes.

“Well, guess I'm going. See you later girls, fighting!” You stood up and waved for them, Chae-hee was still smirking, she had no idea.

You met the boys at the auditorium, and it would be a lie if you said it didn't hurt when you saw Hyunjin was there. Okay, all of the Stray Kids were there, but still.

“Hey y/nnie, come sit with us!” Chan beckoned at you, Hyunjin acted as if you weren’t even there as you passed him by.

You sat down beside Jeongin, Hyunjin was two chairs away, you avoided looking at him until the lights were out. 

He had the same idea, peeking over to check on you while you weren’t looking.

“Hello, we're LuaX and we are going to show you our first song, please enjoy it” Chae-hee said shyly, it was insane how different and fake she looked on stage.

Their first mv started being played on the big screen, it was good, they went for a domestic style, mostly of the scenes being filmed by them and it seemed to please the audience. 

Everybody clapped when it ended and then another video started, ‘get to meet the girls from LuaX', some claps and whistles could be heard as flashes of clips from each girl appeared, until it all turned into a full black screen and Ha-ri's name appeared blinking, starting her introduction. 

After Ha-ri, it was Na-yeon's turn and then Chae-hee, you shifted on your seat. It started like the others, showing little Chae-hee dancing in a school presentation, more videos of her dancing as she grew up until the screen went black again and stayed like this for a minute. The staff exchanged worried glances, imagining it was a malfunction.

“What are you doing? Fix it!” Chae-hee whispered between gritted teeth to the intern who was in control of the laptop.

As the boy was about to tap on the keyboard, the image appeared again, but instead of the interview with Chae-hee, what appeared on the screen made everybody gasp. 

Footage of Chae-hee abusing not only Na-yeon, but the others too, yelling at them, harshly stumbling on them during their dances making them fall, gripping them by their arms…

“What the fuck is this? Turn this off, now!” She hissed at the intern and he clicked over and over, but nothing happened. 

Desperate, Chae-hee went to him, palms slamming the keyboard, but the images were still up, so she looked around and ran to pull the plug, the last image appearing was her pushing Na-yeon. 

“I… I can explain… I…” The lights were turned on, Chae-hee stared desperately at everyone watching, but something inside her clicked when her gaze met yours, the smirk on your lips telling her all she needed to know.

She stormed away from the stage, the whispers filled the room, Hyunjin noticed you chuckling lightly, he was shocked. Hong-jo went to hug Na-yeon, checking if she was alright and the girl nodded, then she looked at you and you smiled, she understood it right away too.

~ {♡} ~

“I still can't believe you exposed Chae-hee, I could never imagine we were being filmed” Na-yeon blushed slightly, playing with the straw of her caramel latte. 

You softly chuckled because you knew she was wondering if you saw her and Minho too.

“I had to gather proof because it was a serious accusation” You leaned forward, whispering “But don’t worry, I made sure to save only those parts, all the rest was deleted” 

“What happens to us now? Aren’t we going to debut anymore, is LuaX ruined forever?” She asked after thinking for a moment, was her dream ruined?

“No, no. You, Hari and Ji-soo will debut, don’t worry” Na-yeon smiled, relieved.

“You'll just have to work a lot and harder, because there will be need to erase every single trace of Chae-hee” 

“Thank you, for helping me…” Na-yeon smiled shyly “The girls appreciate it too, they just aren’t here because I needed to talk to you in private” 

“Is there anything wrong?” You put your mocha latte down and looked at her with concern.

“It's about you and Hyunjin” She picked her phone and unlocked it, opening the chat app.

“Oh, Na-ye, I'm sorry but I don’t wanna talk about him today” You looked down and Na-yeon touched your hand.

“No, y/n. It’s really important, listen, please” She said softly and then she clicked play on the audio Chae-hee sent to her a couple days ago.

Your stomach twisted as you heard Chae-hee describing what happened after she took Hyunjin upstairs, followed by her plan of adding only you to her close friends, that way nobody could contest her and you'd break up with him. Hyunjin was telling the truth and you didn't believe him.

“That's why he was acting so nonchalant about it…” You murmured to yourself, feeling the tears coming.

“We had a fight and he said nothing happened, and still I didn’t believe him” You covered your face with your hands, crying.

“Oh y/nnie, it's not your fault, I'd fall for her tricks too” Na-yeon tried to calm you down.

“I didn’t believe him and now he doesn't want me anymore, he said I was a waste of his time” You cried and Na-yeon reached out, gently tapping your arm.

“He's ignoring me, he's probably already dating her now” 

“No, no, they aren’t together, I can guarantee you” Na-yeon shook her head.

“Chae-hee's mad af because she wanted to give him another chance after the er… incident, but he keeps turning her down” She whispered and you felt a little relief.

“He still likes you, y/nnie. Minho told me Hyunjin talks about you a lot” She blushed at the mention of Minho, and omitted the part where Hyunjin's talks about you were all complainings, all that mattered was that he was thinking about you, right?

~ {♡} ~

Hyunjin was surprised, he knew Chae-hee was nice to him because she wanted to pull down his boxers, but he didn’t think she was such a bitch. And he still had no idea what she did to him that night, all he remembered was her helping him get to his room and then Felix changing the sheets and taking care of his drunk ass.

Chae-hee leaving was the hot tea on the halls of JYP, no one knew who manipulated the video, but most of the people praised the one who did, saying if they had the chance, they would do the same. Hyunjin would smirk walking down the halls, he knew it was you right away.

So that was that mysterious work thing you didn't want to tell him. He was still hurt because of that, and a lot of other things too, the top on his list was you not believing him, that’s why he has been ignoring you and pretending you didn't exist, and he thought he was doing a great job at it, but the boys wouldn’t agree since he couldn’t stop talking about you. 

The girls from LuaX were super busy recording their songs again and changing choreographies, but the days were much better now, without a trace of Chae-hee. You were relieved to walk around the company and not run into her anymore, not big on believing in energies and stuff, but the vibes definitely felt better without her there.

Speaking of vibes, yours weren’t the best as you finished packing for Japan. You tried for the last time to change it, but it didn't work, so you were here, zipping up your last suitcase. 

You checked everything in the house one last time, all good, then went out to wait for Felix, you'd both head to the airport together, the boys flew the day before and he stayed because he had an event to attend on the date.

Leaning on your back on the wall, waiting outside on the street, you sighed when you realized your headphone ran out of battery. As you were putting it back inside your purse, a familiar voice shouting your name caught your attention.

“Chae-hee?” You blinked as you watched her hard steps towards your direction. How the hell did she know where you lived?

“You bitch, I know it was you who made that video!” Chae-hee kept shouting and pointing at you, she was coming closer now.

“Yeah, it was me. Did you like my editing skills?” You scoffed, crossing your arms in front of your body and grinning at her.

Chae-hee closed her hand into a fist and groaned as she advanced towards you, in a quick move, you grabbed her fist mid air as it was about to hit your face and smirked. 

“Chae-hee… were you going to punch me?” You pouted, grip on her wrist getting tighter as you shook your head feigning disbelief “I thought we were friends? Close friends even” You mocked. 

“Ughh, let me go!” She tried to pull her hand, and you thought for a moment, you weren’t planning on it, but you saw the car parking near you, so you had to, you needed to take the ride.

Unfortunately, that wasn't yours.

“Bitch!” Chae-hee spat, massaging her bruised wrist after you pushed her away, letting go of her hand.

Chae-hee came ready to punch you again, trying to catch you off guard. 

“Bitch, don’t you ever try to lay a finger on me again!” You said through gritted teeth as you grabbed her wrist again and lifted her arm, at the same time in a swift move you used your dominating hand to punch her on cheek. 

A strangled sound came out of Chae-hee's lips and she fell down, she touched her face, it was stinging really bad and red, you took a step and leaned down, grabbing a fistful of her hair and forcing her to look at you. 

“And just so you know, this one was for what you did to Hyunjin. If you wanna keep that pretty face intact, don’t ever get near him again!” You pushed her and she trembled.

“Now get out of here!” You ordered and she crawled backwards a few steps and then awkwardly stood up and ran away.

You sighed, rubbing your temples, the rush of adrenaline slowing down and you were realizing what happened, your hand hurted.

“Y/nnie, are you alright?” You jolted when you turned around and saw Felix walking up to you.

“Lixie, oh my God. For how long were you here?” 

“Long enough” He chuckled and pulled you into a hug. 

“Oh, that’s embarrassing” You said shyly, hiding your face on his chest.

“Don't be, it was good. You learned it really well” He chuckled. 

When you asked Felix to teach you some taekwondo moves, you were just playing around, but in the end turns out it was very useful.

“Thanks to my Sensei” 

“This is for karate, in taekwondo we say Sabomnim” He pinched your cheeks.

“Then thanks Sabomnim!” You said cheekly.

“That's better. Now, let's go, I don’t want you picking more fights on the streets” He disheveled your hair, and you groaned. 

~ {♡} ~

The moment you stepped in Japan, you changed your mind, you were glad you came, as you looked out of the window, you were excited to go out and explore it all, although fitting your list of places to go and things to do was a real challenge with the busy agenda of the boys.

You and Hyunjin? Well… it was complicated.

In the perfect world, you'd run into his arms as soon as you'd step into the hotel, and you'd tell him all about your talk with Na-yeon and later would be at his room showing how sorry you were for not believing in him. Unfortunately, life wasn't a fanfic and he reminded you that when he ignored you as he passed you by.

But as the days went by, something changed, Hyunjin even quickly grinned at you at the Versace store, during the event he participated and if your mind wasn't tricking you, he murmured to the pinkish fluffly plushie he won, that his new additional's name was now ‘y/nnie’. 

When you texted Heyoon about it, she told you not to get your hopes up - too late. You knew she just wanted to protect you from another heartbreak, one more and you could request a song on that TV show where players who score 3 gols get their favorite song played, but what if this time it worked out?

What's the saying? Third time’s a charm? 

Yeah, maybe you could request a song, after all, but a romantic instead of a sad one. 

~ {♡} ~ 

Few things made you so happy as day offs, sleeping until noon, going to eat out, shopping, today was the day. You smiled as you checked your phone, the time marked 12:20 when you woke up, no alarm, no messages, no notifications, just silence and peace, wow, when was the last time you felt that?

You sat down, lazily stirring up and went jumping to the bathroom, thinking about the stuff you had planned for today. Your day was going great, you checked out almost all of your list, you realized as you placed your purchases on your bed, admiring all the shopping bags laying there.

And to end it perfectly, time to relax, you said to yourself as you walked though the hotel heading to the hot tube. Your smile got wider when you saw the sign written Relax & Enjoy, oh you'd definitely would.

Your eyes sparked when you opened the door, unraveling the coziness inside, the room was large, floor and walls made of wooden with two walls made fully of glass, presenting a beautiful view of a garden, the trees offering privacy to the guests that can enjoy the hot tube or just light up some incenses and meditate on the lilac futon, adorned with fluffy cushions, you wondered if it was okay to take a nap there later. 

You lit some lavender incenses, then kneeled  down, pressing some buttons and stood up again, you let the white robe slid down your figure and you stepped into the hot tube, wetting your foot slowly, testing the temperature before lowering your body down in the warm water, sitting down.

Sighing, would be a lie if you said you didn't wish Hyunjin was there with you, thinking about him made you realize, you haven’t seen or heard from him or any of the boys the whole day. 

“Wow, I can even hear my thoughts, nice” You giggled, leaning back and closing your eyes “So peaceful…”

Being so relaxed, you were almost napping right there, but your peace didn't last long. You didn't hear the crack of the door opening or the footsteps walking where you were, until you heard the sound of giggling and the water splashing around.

“Spoke too soon” You rolled your eyes after opening them and seeing Jeongin, Han and Felix sitting down around you. 

“C'mon, don’t act like you weren't missing us” And there he was, sitting down in front of you, that annoying grin playing on his lips. Your heart skipped a beat.

The whole time, you tried and failed to look away from him, and Hyunjin would often chuckle, not because he thought what one of the boys said was funny, but because he could see his effect on you. The struggle was real, and the boys were noticing too, giggling and exchanging looks.

After what felt like hours, the boys decided to leave, their smirks were unnoticed by you as one by one they stood up, waving you goodbye. You looked at Hyunjin and he shook his head, not making a move to leave, great, you thought.

You laid your head back down and closed your eyes, his soft giggle made you feel butterflies. 

“Heard you punched Chae-hee because of me” Hyunjin broke the silence after some time, you weren’t seeing it, but you knew the smirk was there.

“It was…” You started saying, but he interrupted.

“Really hot…” You looked at him as he approached you “Felix showed me the video, that punch was really good, wish I was there to witness in person” 

“Oh c'mon” You covered your face, embarrassed that Felix filmed the whole thing and especially that Hyunjin watched it. 

“Admit it, you've been wanting to do this since you laid your eyes on her” He teased you, closer now.

You giggled, but nodded, your face still covered.

“I knew it” He chuckled, gently pulling your hands down.

“What are you doing?” You whispered as he held your hands and placed them over his shoulders, leaning closer. You wondered if he could hear your heart beating faster.

“Something you're dying for me to do, since the show last night” He said cocky and before you could say anything, his lips pressed against yours.

Hyunjin's hands went to your waist, pulling you close to him as he teased your bottom lip with his tongue, you gave him entrance and wrapped your arms around his neck, he smiled against your lips when he felt you coming up to sit on his lap, a soft sound escaped your lips as his big hands reached your ass, gripping the flesh hard, pulling you even closer, he groaned as it made you grind against him. 

It felt good, he did it again and again, his hands guiding your hips, while his lips left yours to make a trail of kisses on your neck, going straight to the spots he knew you were more sensitive, licking and sucking on the skin. 

The way you moaned so softly, digging your nails on his shoulder, dragging your pussy up and down on his bulge, adjusting yourself, he knew you were about to come soon and if he didn’t do something quick, he would too.

You whined in protest when he held you in place, stopping your moves and it made him chuckle.

“Oh I'm sorry, did I interrupt your fun?” He chuckled teasingly. 

“Jagiya” He chuckled again, finding your annoyance cute, but he wouldn’t tease you further, not today…

Hyunjin moved you, making you straddle his leg, tensing up his thigh, he helped to adjust you and gave your butt another squeeze, before you started grinding on him again.

You leaned forward, kissing his neck, moans muffled against his wet skin as you kept going, his hands roamed all over your body, until they stopped by the strings of your bikini, working quick to untie them, letting the piece float on the water, hands cupping your breasts, thumbs teasing the sensitive buds. Your legs started getting shaky and your moves sloppy, Hyunjin held you by your hips, guiding your moves as he knew by the way your moans were getting louder and your body tensing up, you were about to come. 

And you did, holding tight onto him, burying your face on his shoulder, you gave it a delicate kiss, lips lightly brushing against his skin, nibbling on it as you came down from your high.

“Let’s move to the fuck futon” He whispered in your ear before lightly nibbling your earlobe, making you shiver. 

“It's not a futon for fucking, oh my God” You murmured under your breath, embarrassed and he chuckled.

Hyunjin gently pushed you off him and you stood up, followed by him and both walked to the futon, you couldn’t help but smile as he sprawled out a towel on it, before beckoning for you to lay down. You obliged, and he kneeled in front of you, hands running up your thighs until they reached your bikini bottom, his fingers hooked on the waistband, watching in awe as his hands slowly pulled the fabric down your thighs until it reached your ankles and then it was tossed behind him. 

“So pretty” He whispered and twiched inside his swimtrucks, that grin appearing.

You wasted no time in wrapping your arms around him when he crawled on top of you, slotting between your legs, he kissed you and his hand started exploring your body again, gripping on your waist, your curves, until it slid down to your thigh, he alternated between caressing and squeezing the flesh, the kiss getting deeper as his touch got bolder, fingertips slowly making their way to your inner thigh, until it reached your middle.

Your own hands explored his body too, feeling his muscles up, pulling him closer, your fingers digged on his biceps as he slid his fingers between your folds, then pressed on your clit, starting to rub lazy circles on it. Hyunjin smirked, feeling how wet you were already, and you moaned against his mouth, nibbling his bottom lip as his finger slid inside you. He pumped it a few times before adding a new one, his lips making a trail of wet kisses to your jaw, then your neck and going down.

“Jinnie…” You moaned a little louder, when he found that sweet spot inside you. 

“Here?” His fingers curled up, and his lips attached to your nipple, tongue swirling around the hardening bud, before he started sucking. 

You nodded, a little breathless, your hand went to his hair, fingers carding through his locks and his free hand slid up, fondling your breast, while he sucked on the other. 

“Don't stop…” You pleaded, hips moving against his fingers that were pumping in and out quickly, his lips latching on your other breast, he kept alternating between them. 

Hyunjin withdrew his fingers and started to rub on your clit, he could tell you were about to come again, from the lightly trembling of your body under him, the way you pulled him closer and kept lifting your hips again.

Just one more rub and you'd be gone, he softly chuckled, when you protested as he stoped his moves completely. You groaned in frustation.

“Ah, don’t worry. You're gonna cum…” He brought his coated fingers to your mouth, slowly sliding the digits inside, your eyes locked with his as you licked his fingers clean off your juices. He smirked and stood up. “...but around my cock”

You watched his hands working fast to get rid of his clothing, clenching around nothing as you saw the pinkish tip glistening with precum. He looked at you, biting into his lower lip as he stroked himself a few times before finding his way back between your legs.

He dragged his cock over your slit, hissing as he coated the length with your arousal. Hyunjin stared at you as his tip teased your entrance, and you nodded slightly, he leaned down, capturing your lips as he slid in slowly, opening you up inch by inch. 

Even though he prepared you with his fingers, it still burned as he got in, your nails digging on his back and your eyes closed, Hyunjin caressed your cheek and started peppering kisses all over your face and your lips, distracting you as he pushed up until he bottomed out. 

The kisses kept going, slowly and sweet. He stood still, letting you adjust to him before he started moving, slowly the burning sensation was disappearing.

“Too big, Jinnie…” Your sweet cry made him push deeper, grinning against your lips.

“Shhh, it's alright. You take me so well, baby” He picked up the pace, going faster.

He held your thigh, lifting it up, the new angle letting him reach deeper, yours and his moans filling up the room. Your nails scraped his back and he hissed with the mix of pleasure and pain.

“So fucking tight” He groaned and you instinctively clenched around him “Oh shit” 

Hyunjin leaned in, sucking on your breast again, earning more moans from you as he moved fast, angling his hips to hit that spot that made you see stars as you moved against him, meeting his thrusts.

He made a trail of wet kisses up until he reached your lips, swallowing your moans, you held him tight against you, clenching more around him and pushing him closer to the edge, so his hand reached between you, finding your clit and rubbing circles against the bundle of nerves. Your sweet moans getting louder and more desperate were like music to his ears.

“I love you” The words easily slipped out of your lips when he broke the kiss, it wasn't a reflection of your foggy mind, consumed by the pleasure he was giving to you. You truly meant it. 

“I love you too” His words made your heart fluster, and you pulled him closer again, passionately kissing him. 

“Jinnie… please” You cried out, breaking the kiss. 

“I've got you, doll. You can cum, now” He rubbed faster.

A thing he loved about you, how easily he could make you cum, it was both exciting and endearing for him, every time he felt you were about to, he would slow down his thrusts and his fingers moves, forcing you to last longer, but now that he was almost gone too, he would let you go all the way. 

“Jinnie, oh shit!” Your legs started trembling, followed by your body, your nails dug on him as you came, almost making him come too, from all the clenching so hard around him. 

He kept rubbing your clit as you came down from your high, his thrusts were getting sloppy and his balls tightening. You noticed when Hyunjin started pulling out.

“Don't you dare!” You said through gritted teeth, wrapping your legs tight around his waist, locking him in.

His eyes widened as he looked at you with surprise, damn, he thought that was hot, he quickly picked up the pace again. Hard, fast, deep.

He groaned against your neck and you felt the warm, white ropes of his release filling you up. You embraced him, legs still wrapped around his waist, keeping him close as he still thrusted a few more times, not letting one drop go to waste. 

The moans were replaced by “I love you's” and the sound of breaths hitched, hearts beating rapidly and in sync, you kissed his hair when he collapsed on top of you, lying his head on your chest. 

~ {♡} ~

You were nervous, after the fog of the moment dismissed. You knew you both would have to talk, you still needed to apologise to him, make everything clear, and all, plus there was a not so small train of thoughts creeping in the back of your head, what if it was a spur of the moment thing? What if he would change his mind after he kisses you goodnight and leaves you at your door? What if he would come back to his senses and ignore you the next day?

Luckily, all those worries were pushed away as he pulled you closer against him, his grip tight on your waist as he moaned, burying himself into your tight heat. 

You hated waking up early in the morning, but that day, you couldn’t be happier to be woken by him. Spooning you, his hard on pressed against your butt, lips teasing your neck, lazily licking and sucking on the skin, and hand shoved under your pajama top, cupping your breast, of course.  

“Damn, doll. This pussy's perfect, just made for me” His thrusts were getting sloppy, and you gripped the sheets, his hand rubbing circles against your clit, making you cry out, calling his name as you came for the second time in the morning.

He came shortly after, gripping on your hips and holding you in place as he filled you up, and as you watched him swing off the bed, admiring his cute little butt as he went to the bathroom, to grab a washcloth to clean you both, you couldn’t help but smile. You could get used to this.  

Turns out, your trip to Japan was amazing.

You realized that as you two spent the last day there exploring and enjoying your time together, like you used to imagine it would be. No, it was better, because this time it was real.

Was real in the way his fingers intertwined with yours, as you walked on the streets; in the sweet sound of his giggles when you said something that he found funny; in the way his eyes sparked when something caught his attention; in the warmth of his embrace, as you watched the sunset in a park before heading back to the hotel. 

And it was perfect, as you received a goodnight kiss, and snuggled up against him to sleep again. 

~ {♡} ~

Every fruit produced here's organic, delivered with love from our family to yours. 

A smiling and sweet old lady said to the camera, as she walked in joining a small group of people standing in the field, holding baskets, each one had a variety of fruit. A girl, wearing a denim jumpsuit, with a straw hat to conceal her face and a basket full of apples, stepped forward.

Take care of your health, start the new year in the right way, with Organic Life. 

You didn't need to see the hat being gone by the wind to recognize that voice, but the scene made everyone in the living room laugh, watching her desperate frown for being recognized, a short desperate shot where you could clearly see she was dropping the basket before the ad ended. 

“So, what is it? Chae-hee's an actress now?” Seungmin wondered, switching the tv channel.

“I thought she was banned from the industry, after everything that happened” Chaeryeong

commented, snuggling up against Changbin on the couch.

“And she is!” Na-yeon picked her mug from the coffee table “That's actually her family's farm, she was forced to get back with them because nobody wanted to sign her” She had a smirk as she said that, ever since Na-yeon knew Chae-hee, the older always told her how much she hated the country life, and that she would leave and never look back. 

“Well, she can be the cows’ idol now” Minho shrugged and everyone laughed.

The group was reunited at Han and Minho's place to celebrate the New Year's. It’s been some weeks since you came back from Japan, you were suppose to be used to reality by now, but as you felt Hyunjin suddenly wrap his arms around your waist, hugging you from behind and nuzzling his nose against your neck, you giggled and realized you were still in a daydreaming state. 

He turned you to face him, everyone gathered in the living room, the last presentation of the night ended and now the singers were starting the countdown. 

10, 9, 8… 

The bright and big numbers flashed on the screen. 

7, 6, 5, 4… You wrapped your arms around his neck, both smiling as you leaned closer. 

3, 2, 1… Your lips finally connected, happy New Year! 

Same night, last year, you were at a party that Heyoon dragged you, closing your eyes and making a wish as the clock hit midnight. Now, one year later, your wish came true.

You and Hyunjin were embracing at the balcony, watching the fireworks.

“Give me your hand” Hyunjin grabbed your wrist and you watched intently as he took his - yours - ring off of his finger.

“I believe this belongs with you” He smirked, sliding the band on yours, then he gazed at you “Just stay away from bin's this time around, okay?” 

“Oh wait, wait!” Han stood up and rushed inside, you watched with confusion. 

Jisung came back a minute later, waving a tiny bottle, you identified what it was when he approached you.

“Super glue?” Hyunjin's eyes widened, surprised.

“Just to make sure” Jisung explained, trying to grab your hand but you pulled back.

“Hey!” You protected your hand, eyebrows narrowing at him before turning to Hyunjin, your tone soft as you talked to him “Don't worry, this ring's never leaving again” 

“It better not, although Jisung's idea isn't so bad” He teased you and you slapped his arm. 

Later that night, the subtle sound of clothes begin discarded on the floor, kissing, giggling and whispering were filling your room. 

“Thank you, for the ring and for letting me love you again” You whispered between the kisses you were peppering on his face, the last being on his lips.

“I'm the one who should thank you, for coming back to my life” He smiled so sweetly, gently caressing your cheek with his thumb, before swiftly rolling you both, lying on top of you and capturing your lips again.

Maybe it's right, maybe wishes do come true, if you wish hard enough.

[ink-stainedkiss]

Graying Skies - Megumi Fushiguro

Synopsis: A ceaseless thunderstorm broods over Jujutsu Tech and it makes you begin to loose sleep. Thankfully a just as restless Megumi is here to provide company.

Since it was raining today, I decided to incorporate it into my work. I am so happy to finally create a work about my favorite grumpy boy🫶. Feel free to request more Oneshots like this if you enjoyed it!

Warnings: Slightly suggestive, but it’s just making out

Word Count: 1.2k

Thunder clapped violently above head, shaking the entire building, and making the raging thunderstorm outside worse. Bolts of lightning came crashing down, their natural light flashing through the crack of your curtain. It had been raining all day, so you had to go to classes with the continuous pattering of droplets hitting the roof to complete it. The atmosphere made everyone at Jujutsu Tech tired. Gojo Sensei even turned on a movie because he was too sleepy to teach, which was understandable. You couldn’t train because the workspaces were slick and Principal Yaga was weary his students would catch a cold if they were outside for too long.

Classes had ended and everyone was in their assigned dorms. Some people like Yuji and Nobara had already passed out, unfazed by the weather, but you found yourself on the opposite side of the scale. You sat on your bed, knees tucked into your chest as your eyes stared at the darkened sky. Usually, you were fine about going to sleep in the rain, but something was nagging you tonight. You decided to wait it out since tomorrow would be the weekend and you could sleep in forever how long you wanted. A few candles scattered in your dorm created a soft glow and even with the occasional cracks of light and booming thunder, it was calming.

Your eyes felt heavy and you wondered if you should try to go to bed, but just as that thought appeared, there was a soft knock at your door. You turned, brow raised. Who would be knocking at this time? “Come in.” The person on the other side of the door pushed it slowly open and when they came into view, you were a bit stunned,” Megumi?” He stood in your doorway, looking away from your curious gaze, almost like he was embarrassed. He was in his sleep clothes, a black long-sleeve and simple grey sweatpants.

“Sorry if I woke you,” he mumbled. You giggled softly, motioning to the lit candles,” You’re alright, I’ve been up for a while.” He nodded,” You couldn’t sleep?” You shook your head to his question,” No and it looks like you can’t either.” He scratched the back of his neck awkwardly,” Yeah, I was trying to find someone else who I could stay up with…” The fact that Megumi had gone to your door first without question was something he was going to keep to himself.

You watched in amusement as he shifted on the balls of his feet, clearly struggling to sound his thoughts. You scooted to the wall side of your bed,” Well, I am in the mood for some company.” Even in the darkly lit room, you could see him exhale out of relief and he walked over. When he was sitting next to you, you noticed his tense position and tried to make it less unpleasant.

“Do you like the rain?” Your question was barely audible and if the boy wasn’t right next to you, Megumi probably would have never heard it. He thought for a second, noting how you weren’t looking for an answer right away,” Not that much,” facing him, there was no unintelligible expression on your face. Nothing that agreed or disagreed with his claim, but you were clearly telling him to continue.

Megumi shifted on your mattress, sinking further into the cushions,” It mostly annoys me. It makes everything soggy and it can drench you if you were ever caught in it.” He smiled a bit as he kept saying,” When I was a kid, I would ask my dad to stop the rain since I wanted to play outside.” Though a tiny grin was on his face, you could feel the bittersweetness of the memory.

Instinctively, you scooted closer, your shoulders touching, and continued to listen to the boy,” But I don’t despise it. I think the older I got the more I learned how relaxing it can be.” Your eyes caught onto the window again as it lit up in a blue-grayish color,” I think I like it more than some people.” Though you didn’t know, Megumi turned to you, his eyes scanning your calm face as you watched the rain pour down.

“Most call it gloomily and I can understand why they don’t like it, but rain can bring people together.” In the moment it was as if a bubble was formed around the two of you and anything outside of it didn’t matter,” If someone forgets their umbrella, one of their friends, or a stranger offers to share theirs. Kids enjoy it because of the large puddles, but even some adults can’t resist the urge to jump into the water.” Megumi wasn’t sure what was in the air, but you sounded so beautiful even if you were just talking about rain.

A warm smile spread onto your lips as you recalled classic movies,” And I would kill to share a kiss in the rain. There’s something so intimate about not caring if your clothes or hair are ruined and only focusing on the love of their life.” There was a beat of silence and you let out a tiny giggle,” Sorry, I think I’ve been watching too many romance-“

You were cut off by warm lips pressing into yours. Coincidentally, a strike of lightning came down once you realized what was happening. Megumi was kissing you. Megumi Fushiguro was kissing you. You instantly brought your hands to his face, pulling him closer. Your lips moved in synchronization as if you’ve done this a thousand times before. Little pants pushed past your lips as you backed away for only a second for air, then moved right back to each other. You tangled your hand into his raven hair and he easily lifted you to sit on his lap.

Your room was filled with breathless gasps and muffled grunts as you moved as one. The tension grew as Megumi moved to your neck, craving your skin against his lips. Allowing him more access, you craned your neck back and let out a faint moan as he suckled on your skin.

Sadly, a rather loud and disruptive Thunder echoed across the campus, making both you and Megumi jolt in surprise. You made eye contact with the boy and then began to giggle. Megumi thought I was the prettiest noise he’d ever heard and couldn’t help but chuckle. When your laughs died down, you stared down at Megumi, noting how the orange glow in your room decorated his face beautifully. He was so gorgeous like this. Messy hair, flushed cheeks, and bruised lips. So caught up in his appearance, you leaned in, planting another sweet kiss on his lips.

Pulling away, you rested your head against his own, continuing to play with the back of his hair. A thought crossed Megumi’s mind that had him smirking. His eyes examined your face,” Ya know, I don’t think I mind the rain anymore.” A hearty giggle left your lips and you nodded in glee,” Yeah? You’re not wishing it would go away?” He shook his head, sultry eyes landing on your plump lips once again.

You leaned in, interlocking your mouth with his once again. Unexpectedly, he flipped you over, making a squeal leave your lips. The shock was quick to pass as you felt Megumi wrap his arms around your body. You rested on your side and the boy held you close, his face nuzzled into your neck. You smiled at his clinginess, which he would never show in public, and placed a peck on his cheek,” Goodnight Megs.” He gave a muffled response that was filled with sleep.

Megumi had come to your room to hopefully wind up cuddling with you, but he ended up with something ten times better.

[bokutosbabe]

for your new event may i suggest chigiri and for the emojis i pick 🫐 🍰

of course!

a chigiri hyoma blueberry cake slice :)

જ⁀♡⊹｡° i'll build a wall

♡ a/n — for my more than a married couple event :)

♡ content — chigiri hyoma x gn! reader, gn! reader, chigiri is a little shit, very anxious reader, lowkey they hate each other for a bit, cuddling, open ending ( but it is meant to be happy :) )

♡ synopsis — you wouldn't say you hate chigiri hyoma...you just hated you had to share a living space with him

You didn’t know what was worse—the fact that you’d been paired with Chigiri Hyoma for the marriage simulation program or the fact that he seemed so unbothered about it.

While you were stressing over the details, pacing back and forth with the program’s rules in hand, he leaned against the doorframe of your shared apartment, arms crossed, wearing a faintly amused expression.

“You’re overthinking it,” he said, his soft voice carrying an easy confidence that only made you feel more flustered.

“I’m not overthinking anything!” you shot back. “This is a month-long program. We have to work together, pretend we’re married, and follow all these rules. It’s not as simple as you’re making it out to be.”

Chigiri raised an eyebrow. “It’s fake. It’s not that deep.”

“Easy for you to say,” you muttered. “You’re not the one who has to deal with you.”

That earned you a small smirk. “I could say the same thing.”

You two hadn't even gotten the chance to look around the rest of the apartment yet.

What else could go wrong?

“Are you kidding me?”

Your voice echoed in the small bedroom as you stared at the lone bed sitting innocently in the center of the room. It wasn’t even a queen—it was a full-sized bed, barely big enough for two people to sleep without constantly bumping into each other.

Chigiri stood beside you, one hand resting on the doorframe as he tilted his head, examining the room. “Guess they weren’t joking about fostering intimacy,” he said, his voice calm but with a hint of amusement.

“This can’t be real,” you muttered, running a hand through your hair. You spun around to face him, pointing at the bed like it had personally offended you. “There’s no way we’re sharing that.”

Chigiri raised an eyebrow, his expression unbothered as usual. “Do you see another option? Unless you’re volunteering to sleep on the floor.”

You shot him a glare. “Why don’t you sleep on the floor?”

He smirked faintly. “I don’t think that’s what the program had in mind. Besides, it’s just sleeping. Don’t tell me you’re scared of cooties or something.”

Your face burned. “I’m not scared of anything! I just think it’s… inappropriate.”

“We’re pretending to be married,” he pointed out. “This isn’t exactly the time to be hung up on personal space.”

You crossed your arms, still glaring at the bed like you could will it to magically split in two. “Fine. But you stay on your side, and I mean it.”

Chigiri held up his hands in mock surrender. “Whatever you say, boss.”

The rest of the day passed in a blur of unpacking and adjusting to the reality of your shared living situation. The apartment was small but cozy, with a kitchenette, a tiny dining area, and a living room that doubled as a study space.

Chigiri moved through it all with the same effortless grace he always seemed to have, while you tried your best not to let his calm demeanor get under your skin.

By the time night rolled around, you were too tired to argue anymore.

You stood awkwardly by the bed, clutching a spare blanket you’d found in the closet. “Okay, so… I’ll take this side, and you take that side. And no crossing the line.”

“What line?” Chigiri asked, clearly amused.

You grabbed a pillow and placed it lengthwise down the middle of the bed. “This line.”

He chuckled softly. “Alright, if it makes you feel better.”

The first night was… tense.

You lay on your side of the bed, clutching the blanket like it was your last line of defense. Chigiri was on the opposite side, facing away from you, his breathing steady and even.

You tried to relax, but the awareness of his presence was impossible to ignore. The bed wasn’t big enough to create a proper distance, and every shift he made sent a ripple through the mattress.

“Relax,” he said suddenly, his voice low in the dark. “You’re not going to fall off the edge.”

“I’m not tense,” you lied.

“Sure,” he said, a hint of laughter in his tone. “Goodnight, then.”

“Goodnight,” you muttered, closing your eyes and willing sleep to come quickly.

The next morning, you woke up to the unfamiliar sensation of warmth.

Blinking groggily, you realized with a start that you were no longer on your side of the bed. Somehow, during the night, you had shifted closer to the middle—and so had Chigiri.

Your face was inches away from his, his soft, even breathing brushing against your cheek. One of his arms was draped casually over your waist, and his hair, always silky and perfectly styled, was slightly mussed from sleep.

Your heart leapt into your throat.

How did this happen?

You froze, unsure of what to do. If you moved, you’d wake him up. If you stayed still, you’d have to endure the way your cheeks burned as you became increasingly aware of how close you were.

Before you could make a decision, Chigiri stirred, his eyelashes fluttering as he slowly opened his eyes.

For a moment, he looked at you, his expression soft with lingering sleep. Then his eyes widened slightly, and he pulled back, sitting up with a startled look.

“Uh… morning,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Morning,” you said, your voice higher than usual.

There was a long, awkward pause as you both avoided each other’s eyes.

“I guess we, uh, move a lot in our sleep,” he said finally, scratching the back of his head.

“Yeah, must be,” you said quickly, sitting up and throwing the blanket off yourself. “Anyway, let’s forget this ever happened.”

Chigiri gave a small smile, his usual composure returning. “Sure. Whatever you say.”

But as you went about your morning routine, you couldn’t shake the memory of how natural it had felt—waking up next to him, the warmth of his arm around you. And from the way Chigiri glanced at you when he thought you weren’t looking, you had a feeling he was thinking the same thing.

From that morning onward, the dynamic between you began to shift. There was a newfound warmth in Chigiri’s actions—a softening of the sharp edges you had initially bristled against.

And as the days turned into weeks, you found yourself no longer dreading the nights.

You still started on opposite sides of the bed, but more often than not, you’d wake up tangled together, neither of you pulling away.

By the end of the simulation, the lines between what was fake and what was real had blurred beyond recognition. And when Chigiri looked at you during the final presentation, his gaze filled with something you couldn’t quite name, you realized you didn’t want it to end.

“I learned that sometimes, the best partnerships come from the most unexpected places,” he said, his voice steady but soft. “And that trust is built, not given—but when it’s there, it’s worth everything.”

His words lingered in the air, heavy with unspoken meaning. And as you left the program hand in hand, you couldn’t help but think that maybe, just maybe, this was only the beginning.

this was such a late night write session

i hope you liked it!

likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated!

[citrusses]

@sweet-s0rr0w made the most beautiful post about drarry celebrating christmas in her fics, so I took a stab at it, too. Merry christmas and happy holidays all!

OORU drarry spend Christmas Eve with the Malfoys—formal, stuffy, suffocating. Lucius and Narcissa are not fans of Harry but Draco has made it clear that if they are not both welcome, neither will attend. It’s all very polite and painful. Everyone is trying; no one is certain it’s worth it. Christmas Day, however, is spent with Sirius and Remus, and it’s perfect and cozy and all four of them take turns get embarrassingly sentimental about it: about finding a family and being that for each other and getting a bit weepy into his champagne. Harry loves how Draco fits in so well with his godfathers now. Harry is thinking he should ask Draco to move in with him; he feels the uncertain flare of that old fear of rejection when he considers it, finds it terrifying, and resolves to press on in spite of it.  

Gemini in Retrograde drarry are at Grimmauld, where Draco lives, with Scorpius home for the holidays. Scorpius still thinks it’s kind of gross that anyone would want to date his dad, but he’s also never had such a happy Christmas since before Narcissa died. They exchange presents on Christmas Eve; Draco and Scorprius shock each other by picking perfect presents for one another (it’s new, for them). Harry “helps” their house elf make dinner (marking the first time they’ve had an edible meal on Christmas in years). All three of them go to the Burrow for lunch on Christmas Day, the tradition that started the first year Harry and Draco were together. While Scorprius is still working up the courage to properly talk to Victoire, he has none of that shyness when it comes to pick-up Quidditch in the garden. Draco and Harry play, too—Draco flies all the time, now. Harry is still better than him. 

Isle of Ogygia drarry are at the lighthouse, still — ostensibly they’re both working on getting Draco’s sentence reduced, but both of them are more than a bit nervous about leaving the island when the time comes. Their communication about this difficult subject needs work. However, Christmas in the lighthouse is beautiful—the place has been transformed into a real home, and the spellwork has been smoothed out, and the Christmas tree that Neville helped Harry safely transport there is thriving. It’s storming outside, but it’s warm inside, and they have more food than they could possibly ever eat, and they end up not opening presents until the evening because they spend the whole day shagging. They both think they’re being very funny and clever and ended up getting each other the exact same dry, unreadable encyclopedias for Christmas. 

Löyly drarry spend every Christmas traveling somewhere new. They like to alternate between cold and warm destinations: cold places mean shopping at Christmas markets, hearty meals, and saunas if they can find them, and sex on rugs in front of blazing fireplaces; warm places mean dips in the ocean, and dinners and cold wine in the open-air, and Harry watching Draco's long, solid body turn pink in the sun in a way that makes him weak. Draco considers it his duty to become an expert in each country’s specific magical traditions; if there’s sex magic to be found, that’s all the better. Draco and Harry have been forbidden from returning to at least one country because of a public incident involving said sex magic. It was, they both think, worth it. 

@jtimu @arminaa8 @xalandrix @thecouchsofa @greattemptation @garagepaperback @sorrybutblog @nv-md and I'm seconding everyone sweet tagged, too, if you want to share how your drarries spend the holidays. if you're reading this, consider yourself tagged, and tag me please!

[valley-of-headcanons]

hiii!! so I’m actually the anon who requested those bold! farmer head canons for Harvey all that time ago! unfortunately, I’m still a harvey simp!!! (and I still love ur writing so much lol)

how about harvey with a farmer who just…. does not eat well. like, his microwave-dinner centered diet is significantly better than what farmer eats in a day lol. and sometimes they literally just eat snacks throughout the day with no proper food. not for any depressing reasons, mostly just laziness! and harvey is just…. politely horrified. (and progressively less polite about it the closer they get lmao.)

harvey x malnutritioned!farmer || headcanons

when harvey learns that the farmer lives off of snacks and not real meals, the doctor in him can't help but step in!

warnings: unhealthy eating habits, skipping meals, etc.

requested by: anon! hiya, thank you for requesting again! sorry it took so long! i hope you enjoy, i had a whole lot of fun writing! :)

• Your first check-up with Dr. Harvey was a simple one, he checked the normal boxes needed to be filled. He was a bit stern when learning about your eating habits. He inquired heavily, but he soon came to terms with it. Harvey was not keen on snacking throughout the day instead of eating a real meal to refuel, but he was a doctor, not your parent! So, he gave you a pamphlet on eating healthier and sent you on your way.

• Harvey was NOT pleased when you had passed out in the mines due to a lack of energy. You got a very stern talking to! “Please, do not jeopardize yourself like this! Your health is very important, and you have to have energy with your busy schedule! You can take time out of your day to have a full meal, no more snacking! You have to properly refuel your energy ... could I help you with making a meal plan? With nutritious food?”

• You tried your hardest to follow Harvey's meal plan, cooking for yourself or going to the Saloon if you were too tired to fix anything. You hated to admit it, but ... it worked. You were way more energetic, and you certainly did feel better! ... on days where you actually followed it. You were so busy, and time started slipping away from you ... you fell back into your old ways. And your now boyfriend Harvey was picking up on it.

• “Dear, I say this with all the love in my heart ... your eating habits scare me. No, terrify me. This is not a way to maintain your body! Please, start taking more care of yourself, love ... as much as I love having you in my office, I can't have you there for actually being sick from malnourishment. I know you're busy, but please set aside some time for simple self care ...”

• Harvey was set on helping you out, making a second lunch everyday just in case you stopped by the office. It was a daily ritual, and you had at least one full meal a day! Look at you go! Harvey had infiltrated your snacky lifestyle, but not fully. You were still skipping breakfast and even dinner some nights, you were just so busy. Things definitely changed when you married Harvey, though.

• The day Harvey moved in, you could tell he was a force to be reckoned with. Every morning, he'd be awake before you with a full breakfast made. He'd kiss you on the forehead before guiding you to the table, making sure you ate at least a little bit before heading out for the day. He was a very concerned husband!

• Harvey would also cook dinner. Now Harvey is not the most amazing cook in the world, sometimes he'd opt for TV dinners and boxed mac and cheese. But, he'd have something for you nonetheless! And if he didn't, that just meant date night at the Saloon! Even nights where you'd come home late, he'd have a note on the counter telling you there's food in the microwave. You'll also be lectured in the morning about staying out so late.

• Harvey is so in love with you, and he really wants to make sure you're happy and healthy. Your health is most important to him. Yes, he's the doctor for the whole town, but you're the love of his life. He's going to care for his spouse the best he can. And he will take care of you for as long as you'll have him.

[sweet-s0rr0w]

⭐️🎄 Merry Christmas and happy holidays! 🎄⭐️

How do you think drarry celebrate the winter season? ♥️

Ah, Merry Christmas to you too, and thank you for the ask, which really made me smile :) I came up with about a dozen different replies, then thought the most fun way to answer would be to have a think about some of the Drarrys from my fics, and what they'd be doing over the festive period!

Drarry from Nor All That Glisters spend Christmas in Europe, or possibly up in Durham seeing Lee, who's off at uni doing Chemistry. Sometimes Harry has to work, and Draco spends a few days at the Manor, helping his mum with cutting back the Shrivelfigs, and renewing all her anti-frost charms. They'll get to the Burrow at some point, though probably on one of the quieter days; the holiday season's not the easiest for Draco, and though he'd never say it (and it's probably in his head - the Felix negative after-effects should be long worn off by now ofc), he still sometimes feels a little out of place amongst Harry's closest friends. Harry though, Draco never doubts.

Kept in Cages Drarry are in Kenya, of course, and it's Erumpent mating season, so there's plenty of work to be done keeping the local Muggles from being accidentally trampled/exploded, and fending off poachers, and not much time for festivities. I expect they do manage to do a Christmas lunch of a sort, though, with Christmas music, and probably some crackers that Ron's sent over (the kind that go bang, for the non-Brits), and green beans rather than Brussels Sprouts.

Among the Elements Drarry are definitely at the Burrow, where Scorpius is thoroughly spoiled by Molly and Narcissa both. Scorp's doing brilliantly; at three years old he's still a little dot, but bright as a button, and knows exactly how to get his way. Ron and Hermione are expecting their first now, and Draco can't help feeling nervous at the sight of her barely-visible bump, thinking about everything that happened. He doesn't say anything to Harry, who he knows is one day hoping for a sibling for Scorp, but he's not quite sure yet if that worry will ever go away.

And Waking Up Slow Drarry are at Narcissa's of course, for their three hundred and something-th Christmas dinner of the year! They try to make the real one a little more special, which usually means that Harry does end up dancing; he's getting pretty good at it now, if he does say so himself! Draco's shop reopens between Boxing Day and New Year (there's a little trade from the tourists visiting Bath over Christmas), and then they'll be locking up (and set some surreptitious warding spells) and heading off by Portkey for some sun and a well-deserved rest. They're friends with a few magical families in the local area now, and they'll all take turns to go see Narcissa while Drarry are away.

This was so much fun I cannot! Thank you so much!

Me, I've had a manic Christmas hosting many people and ferrying my children hither and thither, and staring longingly at all the brilliant works that are appearing in my ao3 inbox. I'm looking forward to finally sitting down and catching up on: soft by @garagepaperback, Falter by @skeptiquex, Better not pout by @maesterchill, The Chosen Bun by @hoko-onchi-writes... and finishing off my Christmas re-read of O Come, All Ye Faithful by @toomuchplor!

I'm actually going to tag a few friends to see if they're interested in doing this too: @tackytigerfic, @epitomereally, @fluxweeed, @citrusses, @the-starryknight, @wolfpants, @lqtraintracks, @oknowkiss (plus all tagged above ofc, and anyone else who fancies!!) - any updates from any of your Drarrys, and what they might be up to this holiday time?

[whoiwanttoday]

I hope everyone had a Merry Wednesday. I just got home a little bit ago after a very long drive due to what I guess is dreaded post Wednesday traffic. I know for many parts of the world today is Boxing Day so I wish those of you who celebrate a good boxing day. I usually try to impart some basic advice here but the truth is you guys do this every year, why should I need to tell you not to stand flat footed and always keep your hands up. If you don't know now it's too late. If you're struggling just try to get a match up against your grandma, she can't possibly hit that hard and statistically she's most likely to have voted for Brexit or Rob Ford or whatever so on some level she has it coming. It's a weird tradition but I get it, if there was a separate Christmas for servants because servants aren't allowed to celebrate Christmas the same day as rich people I'd also be filled with a desire to punch someone in the face. My country just left but I guess we all deal with that bullshit in our own way. All of that said, here is some Victoria Justice who has, as far as I know, no actual association with boxing day other than one of the first things I ever saw of her was promo pictures of her ready to box because Young Victoria Justice was something Nickelodeon was trying very, very hard to make happen so she was appearing on some other show to fight someone. I think. It's been a long time and I was never the target audience, just in the early days of tumblr plenty of the sort of target audience (sort of in the sense that they were younger but not entirely in that they were queer girls who were still working on finding their queerness) really wanted me to watch Victorious and post people from it. Which I did on all counts. The show was not for me because I was too old (though I was shocked at just how many sex jokes there were for a show about high schoolers) but I will admit many of the stars were attractive. Anyway, that was a lifetime ago and all that but here is some Victoria Justice for you because all December she has shown up wearing nice stuff and I have been ignoring her and today I saw her in a Christmasy black thing and I felt bad that I ignored her in a lead up to Christmas. Bear with me, this is because my family's dog is hurt pretty badly and she is an all black mutt except for a white triangle on her chest and a little white near her paws and she looked so sad all weekend and I felt so bad every time I walked out of the room because she couldn't follow and wanted to and watching her try to get up and then give up and look very sad made me rush back again and again so she wouldn't feel ignored just cause I got some water. Anyway, this is maybe not the most complimentary thing I have ever posted but I think that very nice black and white outfit might be triggering a Pavlovian response where I feel bad like I am ignoring Victoria Justice. Which is how this is about boxing day, because that's a very condescending and paternalistic sentiment, just like the Brits and Boxing Day. I did it. Happy Boxing Day. Today I want to fuck Victoria Justice.

[bigbigpushes]

Happy New Year!

New Years Eve used to be different for Parker, she would be at any party she could find, dancing long past the clock striking twelve. She and her husband, Wes had met at a New Year’s party, being each others midnight kiss and just the year before they had been out with their friends until the sun had come up to welcome January first.

This year though, everything was different, instead of doing her makeup as the sun was setting, Parker was standing under the hot spray of the shower, palms against the tiles as she leaned forward, large belly hanging low. Her due date had been Christmas Day, something she and Wes had laughed about, many a joke being made. The day had been a quiet affair, passing with no baby. When her contractions had ramped up just after lunch, she knew that this was destined to be the day they brought their child into the world.

Standing soon became to uncomfortable, the pressure in her hips making it difficult to stand and reluctantly, Parker stepped out of the shower and dried off, not bothering to get dressed. “How are you feeling, baby?” Wes asked once she walked out of the bathroom and into their birthing quit. Parker let out a tired sigh as her shoulders lifted in a shrug. “I feel like a bowling ball is trying to fall out of my vagina.” She replied with a chuckle before looking longingly at the pool on the other side of the suite, knowing that as where she wanted to deliver. “How long til I can get in there?” She asked, wanting nothing more than the relief the water would provide.

“Ohhhh, that snuck up on me.” Parker mumbled, moving as quickly as she could to sit on a nearby birthing ball, soon moaning through the squeezing of her muscles as her body worked to bring her baby down. Her last contraction had happened just before she and decided to get out of the shower. They still had four hours until midnight, but she knew first babies often took a long time and she was expecting to be no exception.

The contraction was just nearing its peak when she felt what she could only describe as a pop, fluid gushing out of her in a way that she thought only happens in the movies. “Think my water broke.” She laughed, Wes quickly coming over to help her up.

The next few hours passed in a routine of laughter filled conversation and reminiscing of past New Year’s Eve between contractions growing steadily more frequent and stronger. Parker had her arms around her husband’s shoulders, rocking her hips as she groaned through the strongest one she had felt yet, “hmmmmmnnngh, oh god!” She cried out, feeling like her abdomen was in a vice grip. “You’re doing so well, baby. You’ve got this.” Wes’ quiet whispers of encouragement in her ear keeping her tethered.

“How about we check your progress and then get you in the tub?” A midwife suggested once the contraction had passed. Parker nodded quickly, eager to get into the water. She held onto her husband, glad her dilation could beck check without her having to sit down “You’re almost at nine centimetres, baby should be here in no time. Now let’s get you in.” She didn’t hesitate, moments later she was being helped into the water, the relief instantaneous.

“What about Eve for a girl?” Parker asked forty minutes later, it was now just under an hour until midnight as kneeled in the tub, arms resting against the lip, her chin on them as she waited for her body to tense again. “A little on the nose, I think.” Wes replied pulling a a laugh from his wife, though it quickly changed into a deep moan, the contraction striking just as expected. She barely had ninety seconds between the pains, they were getting closer and closer now.

Thirty minutes until midnight and Parker could feel the urge to push. “Bowling ball!” She yelled out through the latest contraction, if she wasn’t so preoccupied she would laugh at how wide her husbands eyes at gone. Before the pain let up, she gave into her body’s need and pushed quickly, unable to stop herself.

As the pain let up, she tapped Wes on the arm and moved so she was now sat. They had planned this from the beginning, she had wanted to be in a safe environment but for the birth to be as intimate as it could be. Her husband didn’t waste any time, quickly climbing into the pool, sitting behind her so Parker could lean against him.

The pressure built again and she pushed into it, feeling her baby move further down as she began to bulge, a mirror placed between her legs so she could see herself open. Parker pushed through a few contractions before the crown held. “Fuck, that hurts! That burns.” She panted, eyes squeezed tightly shut as she tried to breathe through the pain of it. Wes whispered words of comfort in her ear, “I can see them, you’re doing so good.” She slid her hand between her legs, panting heavily as she felt the head, so close to them now, “I think they might be bald.” She laughed breathlessly as Wes pressed a kiss to her cheek.

Another contraction came and she pushed, letting out a cry as she stretched until the head came free. She panted once more, looking between her legs as the midwife gently instructed her how to check for the cord. Thankfully it was clear and soon Parker gave into another urge, pushing with everything she had, a primal scream filled the room as she bared down, the sound soon replaced by the sound of fireworks outside the window, the clock striking midnight as their baby slipped from her body and into its mothers waiting arms.

Outside there were cheers, Parker bringing their child up to her chest. “It’s a boy!” The midwife exclaimed, as Wes kissed his wife, tears in both of their eyes. “Happy New Year!” They said at the same time, knowing that this was their best new years yet.

[fanfics4all]

Forgiveness

Request: Yes / No Fluffcember Day 26!

Don’t be shy, request things! <3 Have a nice day/night

Draco Malfoy x Fem!Reader 

Word count: 737

Warnings: Just happy caring fluff!

Prompt(s): Forgiveness

PLEASE DO NOT STEAL MY WORK, I WORK HARD ON MY FICS AND IT’S NOT COOL TO STEAL SOMEONE ELSE’S WORK! 

If you want to be on the tag list for anything (My series fics, specific character fics, or just all of them) All you have to do is send me an ask and I will add you! 

Masterlist 

If you enjoy my work, you could also show support by buying me a coffee! 

(Not my photo, credit to whoever made it!)

*Draco’s POV*

Diagon Alley felt different in the winter twilight… softer, quieter, as if the bustling energy had finally dulled, leaving behind a muted calm that clung to the cold air. The lanterns cast warm pools of light against the cobblestone streets, and as I walked alone, my hand buried deep in my coat pockets, I found myself drifting in thought. 

It had been years since the war ended, but memories of that time lingered like ghosts. Regret clung to me, a constant silent companion that kept me in the shadows even now, years after Hogwarts and the battle that changed everything. I was no longer Draco Malfoy, the self-assured Slytherin prince; I was just a man trying to rebuild a life from the fragments left in the wake of all I’ve done. I became so lost in my thoughts that I almost didn’t see her until she called my name. 

“Draco?” I froze, the sound of my name jolting me out of my thoughts. Turning, I found myself face-to-face with her. She was in my year at Hogwarts, but we never spoke much back then, only in passing. Yet, she was unforgettable. Her eyes held a kindness I didn’t deserve, her expression soft as she stood there, her hands tucked into her coat. 

“Hello.” I forced myself to meet her gaze. I wasn’t quite sure what she was doing talking to me, of all people. 

She took a small step closer and though I expected anger and judgment I’d long since grown used to, her face held none of that. Just a quiet understanding that made me more uncomfortable than anything. 

“Are you… doing well?” She gently asked. I almost scoffed at the question, but caught myself, nodding instead. 

“As well as I can be, and you?” I replied, the words sounding stiff even to me. 

“I’m alright, thank you. Just picking up a few things.” She answered, het face brightening a bit. She held up a small bag, and we fell into silence, neither of us quite sure how to continue. Yet, she didn’t move and her gaze remained steady on me, as if she was waiting for something. 

“Listen…” I began, shifting uncomfortably. 

“I know what you must think of me, what everyone thinks of me… and I wouldn’t blame you if you hate me. I know I deserve it.” The worlds were out before I could stop them, blunt and honest in a way I rarely allowed myself. She didn’t flinch or look away. Instead, her expression softened and she took a step forward. 

“I know you’ve been through a lot, we all have… and I can’t pretend to understand everything you went through, but…” She paused as if searching for the right words. 

“I just wanted you to know that I don’t hold it against you, any of it.” I looked down at the ground, the familiar guilt and shame brewing inside me. 

“You should hold it against me… everyone should…” I said, bitterness creeping into my tone despite myself. She shook her head, her voice soft yet firm. 

“I don’t believe that people can change. I believe you were just as trapped as everyone else.” Her words hung in the air, cutting through the tension like a knife, but in the best possible way. I forced myself to look up, meeting her eyes. 

“Why are you saying this? Why forgive me?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper. She took a deep breath, her gaze unwavering. 

“Because holding onto the past won’t change anything, Draco. You did things you regret, I can see that. Yet here you are, trying to move forward like everyone else.” 

It was almost too much to take in. All this time, I’d been ready to face the sneers and the disgust, but forgiveness? I never thought it possible, not from anyone outside my family, let alone from her. 

“Thank you…” I managed to say, feeling a weight lift ever so slightly. Her forgiveness loosened the chains of guilt I’d been carrying all these years. She offered a small smile, and it was enough to make the cold, empty street feel just a bit warmer. 

“You don’t have to thank me, just remember that you’re not alone, okay?” I nodded, unable to find any words. 

“Perhaps we could get a drink, maybe catch up?” She asked and I gave her a small smile. 

“I’d like that…”

Tag list: @les-bio-lie @tashy-bear @ashwarren32 @hollie-blogs-blog1 @lover-of-books-and-tea @nerdygaloresposts @teenwolfbitches28 @kmc1989 @drw0301bieber @lady-of-lies @ravenmoore14 @ravenempress101 @cillianchamp @rowanthomasknapp @rachelxwayne @ready-4-fanfiction @madammarvellous-blog1 @in-slytherin-we-trust @accio-rogers @sambucky8 @bruisedfists-and-splitlips @answer-the-sirens @andreasworlsboring101 @vanessa-kom-skaikru @impulse-anchor @psamathegoesrawr @nighttimemoonlover @liz-owl @dracoswhvre​