#i had sm fun at the start.. then writers block hit me | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

eurydicees · 2 years ago

Note

love love love the way you write those fics based on prompts, can you pls do one for atsuiwa and 71 :)

first of all, thank you so much, i'm so glad you're enjoying them!! i love writing them sm. that being said some of these songs Do Not Fit. this one was super fun to write though!! i wrote it mostly on my phone in a car so forgive me for any typos, and sorry about the angst lmao. blame the song not the writer.

summary: the memories never really go away. they never really heal, either. atsumu left his fingerprints all over iwaizumi's heart and those are not bruises that are ever going to fade. prompt: spotify wrapped #71, all too well, ten minute version (taylor swift) pairings: atsumu miya/hajime iwaizumi words: 2724 warnings: bittersweet/unhappy ending, unsafe driving

remember me / bruise me

memory / it all comes back

After it’s all over, Iwaizumi remembers it too well. It’s not a distant memory, not yet, though maybe one day it will be.

But right now it’s more like a bruise, one that won’t fade. Purple and blue and yellow, right there on his heart and growing every day. Iwaizumi watches Atsumu, grander than life on the TV screen, and can almost feel his fingers press into that bruise.

getting colder / border lines

It’s the time of year when the wind starts to bite and the chill in the air begins to leave Iwaizumi’s cheeks pink and the tips of his ears red with cold. He pulls his gloves on as he exits the MSBY Black Jackals training center, already shivering before he’s even made it a block closer to the bus stop. He’s been working for the Jackals for a few weeks now, filling in a temporary position while he waits for preparation with the national team to start.

“Iwaizumi!”

Iwaizumi stops, frowning as he turns around. Atsumu is jogging down the sidewalk, chasing after him. “Hey.”

“You forgot your scarf,” Atsumu says. He’s not out of breath, but his words leave a fog in the air. “Didn’t want you to be caught in the cold without it.”

“Oh,” Iwaizumi says, blinking.

Atsumu grins at him, that wide smile that makes the lines at his eyes crinkle and his cheeks flush. “Here.”

“Thanks.”

Iwaizumi is ready for Atsumu to hand over the blue scarf—the only one he owns, a hand-knit gift from his mother—but Atsumu reaches over and drapes the scarf around his neck himself. He wraps the scarf around his neck twice and then tucks the ends in.

“There,” Atsumu says, looking all too satisfied with himself.

Suddenly flustered, his cheeks pink and heart picking up, Iwaizumi just nods numbly. The cold must be getting to him. That must be why his head feels so dizzy.

Atsumu turns away to head back to the gym parking lot, where his car is. He grins again. “You’ll miss your bus if you stand there all day, you know.”

Iwaizumi blinks. “Oh. Right. Right, shit.”

Atsumu laughs—not cruelly, but clearly entertained by Iwaizumi’s sudden imbalance. His legs feel shaky, breath caught in his throat. “See you tomorrow.”

Then he’s walking away, hands shoved in his coat pockets and head held high. Iwaizumi watches him walk away, wondering why he can’t focus on anything except the gait of Atsumu leaving.

He misses his bus.

red lights / promises

Atsumu gives Iwaizumi a ride from his apartment to a party being held at Onigiri Miya, forty-five minutes away. What Iwaizumi discovers—very, very quickly—is that Atsumu Miya is actually a really terrible driver.

Iwaizumi sits in the passenger side seat, gripping tightly to the edge of the seat as he stares through the windshield with an intensity that’s almost scary. Atsumu hits a pothole at 64 kilometers per hour and Iwaizumi swears that either he flies out of his seat or his soul leaves his body. Either way, he lurches against the seatbelt and is suddenly incredibly grateful for the car safety measures his parents had ingrained in him as a teenager learning to drive for the first time.

“You don’t have to be so tense,” Atsumu says, glancing at Iwaizumi. “I’m a perfectly fine driver.”

“Please keep your eyes on the road,” Iwaizumi says through gritted teeth.

Atsumu laughs. “I’m paying attention, I promise.”

“Fuck, fuck, Atsumu, that was a red light!”

Atsumu flinches, whipping his gaze back to the road and away from Iwaizumi. “Oops.”

“I’m going to die,” Iwaizumi mutters, not quite sure if he’s joking or not. Atsumu laughs anyway. “I’m actually going to die in a car with Atsumu Miya.”

“It’d be an honor to die by my side,” Atsumu says indignantly.

Iwaizumi closes his eyes. He can’t watch another stop sign fly by without Atsumu showing any sign of knowing what the brake pedal does. If anything, he speeds up just to spite Iwaizumi.

“Whatever,” Iwaizumi mutters. “Please just tell me we’re almost there.”

“About ten minutes away.”

Iwaizumi lets out a sigh of relief. Atsumu hits another pothole.

red flushed cheeks / pressing close

The party is to celebrate the announcement of the National Team members for the Olympics—everyone there is either on the team or close to someone on the team. Iwaizumi, though he works for the team and received an explicit invitation from Osamu, is a drink in and still trying his best not to feel out of place or unwanted. Parties have never really been his thing; he much prefers a quiet night in. He’s never sure how to mingle with people he isn’t close with or how to introduce himself to people he doesn’t know.

But Atsumu seems determined to make him socialize. He wraps one hand around Iwaizumi’s forearm and drags him over to every table that people are sitting at. He knows many of them already, but there are still new faces and names that he can’t quite keep track of.

It’s overwhelming, after a little while. He’s just about ready to make his excuses to Atsumu and go sit with Ushijima, who’s become a kind of eye in the storm that is the rest of the team’s antics. Before he can say anything, Atsumu glances at him, seeming to read his expression without needing words.

“Want to get some air?” Atsumu asks, motioning towards the back door. Iwaizumi nods, and Atsumu pulls him across the room and outside. Iwaizumi swears he feels everyone’s eyes on them as the door swings closed.

“It was getting kind of warm in there,” Iwaizumi says. He sits on the concrete steps, rubbing a hand over his face. “I love this team but…”

“But we can be a lot,” Atsumu finishes, smiling a little. He sits down next to Iwaizumi, quiet. Iwaizumi wants to make some kind of joke that this is the first time Atsumu has been quiet in his life, but he doesn’t. There’s something too gentle, too precious about the moment. Then Atsumu breaks the silence. “Do I ever overwhelm you?”

Iwaizumi swallows, not sure what to do with the question. It feels like Atsumu is asking something more than that but Iwaizumi doesn’t know what it is.

“No,” he says, and he’s surprised to realize that it’s the truth. Atsumu doesn’t overwhelm him. He’s too attentive, too conscious of Iwaizumi’s boundaries, to be an unforgiving presence. “You never do.”

“Oh.” Atsumu exhales, breath hanging in the air. Iwaizumi shivers. “Good.”

Iwaizumi watches him out of the corner of his eye, not sure what he can say. But Atsumu smiles, and Iwaizumi figures that he doesn’t have to say anything. This is comfortable enough.

pressing close / red flushed cheeks

Atsumu cannot cook. Despite having a brother who’s one of the most loved chefs in the area, Atsumu cannot for the life of him cook. He can get by enough to be a functioning athlete and he can kind of follow the type of recipe that involves a microwave, but Iwaizumi finds out that Atsumu broke his stove trying to turn it on and nearly has an aneurysm. He doesn’t know how that's even possible.

So Iwaizumi tiredly drags Atsumu to his own apartment for a real, home cooked meal, the first he’ll have had since Osamu gave up on teaching him how to pan fry things without burning himself.

“I’m not letting you starve to death,” Iwaizumi says, rolling his eyes. “Of course I’m going to feed you if you broke your oven.”

Atsumu laughs, hopping up to sit on the counter. “I should break my kitchen appliances more often if it means you’re gonna cook for me.”

“Don’t you dare. And get off my counter.”

“Fine, fine,” Atsumu says, still laughing lightly.

He jumps off the counter, then walks over to lean over Iwaizumi’s shoulder and look at the pot of tomato sauce that he’s stirring. He rests his chin on Iwaizumi and Iwaizumi tries to hold back a flinch. It’s not that he doesn’t like the contact or doesn’t want it, it just surprises him every time that Atsumu initiates it. Atsumu has always been a touchy person, always giving hugs and high fives, but Iwaizumi never thought he’d be on the receiving end of it.

Atsumu doesn’t seem to notice Iwaizumi’s hesitation, settling with his chin on Iwaizumi’s shoulder as if he belongs there. He hums softly, then pulls away. “Can I put on music?”

“Sure,” Iwaizumi says absentmindedly, not really paying attention as Atsumu starts tapping away at his phone. After a moment of silence, Atsumu starts playing some song that Iwaizumi doesn’t recognize.

Iwaizumi is all too aware of it as Atsumu steps back, closer to him again. He puts his hands on Iwaizumi’s hips, then starts swaying slightly. Iwaizumi swallows hard. He lets Atsumu move him; sway, sway, sway. He lets Atsumu do what he wants, but he’s also always been so aware of Atsumu’s touch that this is sending the heat on his cheeks into overdrive.

“Atsumu,” Iwaizumi chokes out. “What are you doing?”

“Just feel the music,” Atsumu says, his breath hot next to Iwaizumi’s ear. He takes Iwaizumi’s hand, putting the spoon on the counter. Then he’s spinning Iwaizumi around to face him. Their chests are nearly pressed together, and Iwaizumi can see the deep dark of Atsumu’s eyes. They’re so close. They’re so close. Iwaizumi is pretty sure that he’s not breathing. Atsumu chuckles a little, pressing their foreheads together. “Relax.”

Iwaizumi takes a shaky breath. He can see the place where Atsumu had been biting his lip earlier, a ridge on his bottom lip. He wants to—

Then Atsumu is leaning in, their swaying paused, his hand trailing up from Iwaizumi’s waist to his cheek, guiding him closer. Then—

It’s their first kiss. Iwaizumi won’t ever forget it.

promises / red lights

They kiss again and again and again and at some point Iwaizumi stops counting because he thinks that it’ll never stop coming. He stops counting because he thinks that he’ll never run out of time.

It was fucking stupid of him.

“I’m moving,” Atsumu says quietly. Iwaizumi goes still. They’re lying in his bed, tangled up in the bedsheets and holding onto each other as if they’ll never let go, as if there’s no point in trying. Atsumu has his head resting on Iwaizumi’s chest, making no move to shift and look Iwaizumi in the eyes. “A team in Paris wants me.”

Iwaizumi says only, “Oh,” and he’s pretty sure that’s the only word left that fits in his mouth. He’s pretty sure that he’s forgotten how to say anything else, anything that matters.

It’s not like they were ever anything official. This, this thing, between them—they never actually talked about it. They never defined anything, they never put a label on it. This, whatever it is—was—never mattered enough. Enough to talk about this together. Enough to even bring it up before the decision was made. Enough to mean something to Atsumu, apparently.

“I already signed the contract,” Atsumu continues. “I leave next month. Coach and the team all know already.”

“Oh,” Iwaizumi murmurs again. Everyone knew except for him. Everyone.

Atsumu says, “I didn’t know how to bring it up to you before.” He says, “I should have said something earlier, probably.” He says, “Are you mad?”

Iwaizumi swallows. “I—”

Words don’t feel like enough for what he’s feeling. They don’t feel like enough to express the boiling of emotion in the pit of his stomach. He moves his hand, letting go of Atsumu and gently pushing him away. He sits up, rubbing his hand over his face and then wrapping his arms around his knees, the movements jerky. He doesn’t know what to do with himself, how to move his body, what to say.

“I think you should go,” Iwaizumi whispers. He squeezes his eyes shut. He didn’t think it would hurt this much when Atsumu left; because he was always going to leave, Iwaizumi knows now. Atsumu was never meant to stay with someone like him. “I’ll—just. Can you go?”

I’ll be okay, he wants to say. I’ll see you later.

But that doesn’t feel true, not really. Atsumu’s love, care, friendship—whatever you want to call it—feels, now, like a stain on his heart that he can’t scrub away even now that Atsumu is going to disappear. Off to fucking Paris with a month’s warning.

“We’ll still be friends,” Atsumu says, something desperate in his voice.

Iwaizumi takes a shaky breath. “Good luck in Paris, Atsumu. You’re gonna—you’re gonna do great.”

border lines / getting colder

Atsumu calls, sometimes.

Iwaizumi always answers.

Atsumu tells him about Paris: his new team, the city, all of the new things he’s trying, the strangeness of a new language, the difficulty of communicating with people who don’t understand him, how brilliant his new team is, how much he loves playing with them, how much he’s enjoying himself. He tells Iwaizumi about all of his new adventures, all of the things that Iwaizumi can never be there for.

There was a time when they shared these moments in person. They went out and explored the towns they traveled to for games—together. They tried new restaurants together. They played volleyball together on their off days. Iwaizumi recalls all of it so clearly, with so much fondness, with so much nostalgia. But no amount of remembering is going to change the fact that it’s over.

Atsumu tells him about a girl he met. She’s pretty: blonde hair, blue eyes, tall, thin. Kind. Gentle. Doesn’t know a thing about volleyball, but wants to listen to Atsumu talk about it, wants to learn. She’s dreamy.

Iwaizumi doesn’t know why the fuck Atsumu thinks he wants to hear any of this, but he listens anyway. It’s a little masochistic of him; listening to Atsumu talk makes him want to hit something or maybe cry and he doesn’t know how to fix it.

Their phone calls are always long, as if Atsumu can never run out of things to say. Iwaizumi tells him things too: life in Japan, how it feels at his new job with the Red Falcons, the beginnings of preparation for the Olympics, his new favorite ramen shop, which just opened down the street.

There’s always so much that they can bring themselves to say. There’s always so much that they do say, letting the phone line ease the fear of saying them. There are, too, so many things that they aren’t afraid to say in the first place. Then again, there are always so many things Iwaizumi wants to say that he can’t. Atsumu doesn’t want to hear them, and he knows it.

One day, despite this: “I miss you,” Iwaizumi says quietly. It’s painful to admit, it’s painful to break his own heart every time he talks to Atsumu. This time, that doesn’t stop him from saying it. He’s always been blunt, always been able to call it as he sees it, but this hurts.

“I’ll call you later,” Atsumu says, faint over the phone line. “Bye, Hajime.”

Iwaizumi hangs up.

it all comes back / memory

They see each other at the Olympics. It’s the first time that they stand face to face in a year. It’s the first time that they’ve been within the same country’s border lines. It’s strange. It feels weird. It hurts. Iwaizumi doesn’t know what to do with this, with this feeling. He doesn’t know what to do with the bruise that’s aching on his heart, in the space between his muscles, all over his body.

He remembers it all. Everything Atsumu made him feel. The masterpiece of it all. The glory of it all. The driving too fast, letting go of fear and embracing the unknown, jumping off of a ledge and trusting Atsumu to catch him. Dancing in the dim light of the kitchen, the fire of the stove flickering under the pot, the smell of their dinner cooking. First kisses. The taste of Atsumu’s chapstick.

He sees Atsumu again at the training camp before the Olympics. It all comes back like a rush of blood to the head. Like fingerprints pressed onto a bruise. He remembers, and he does nothing about it. There’s nothing he can do.

#ask #my writing #haikyuu #atsuiwa #atsumu miya #hajime iwaizumi #haikyuu fanfiction #atsuiwa fanfiction #haikyuu fic #miya atsumu #iwaizumi hajime #atsumu x iwaizumi #iwaizumi x atsumu

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eunivrse · 3 years ago

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I know you’ve written a car sex chapter at the start of serenity but I think it’s really fun and so hot whenever armin and y/n is in a semi public setting.

ONGGGG it’s so sexy, omg one of these days i wanna remake the car sex scene in serenity, my writing has evolved sm since then

content warning: semi-public sex, breeding, dom armin yummy yum

word count: 774

note: i am so sorry i held this off for so long, i legit had bad writer’s block but the new trailer cured it

“ssshh, baby, holy shit-“ he shoves two of his fingers inside your mouth, your tongue lolling ‘round it and muffling your noises. your back was right up against the tile wall of a bathroom stall as your boyfriend pounds into you.

you vaguely remember what happened, it escalated too fast and you had some to drink and no time to contemplate.

the company you and armin work for held a gala downtown, you had a little too much alcohol, and you ended up getting your pussy ravished by the man who deems you as his.

your body felt like jello, his cock hitting the right places as held you in place by holding onto you with one hand on your waist. he’s already been teasing you long before you decided to be in this position, his innocent, yet teasing fingers were pinching on your inner thigh beneath your dress from under the table.

you weren’t complaining; hell, you were encouraging it. you would mumble curses under your breath, only loud enough so he could hear them before he went to grab your wrist and go to the farthest restroom from the ballroom.

he took his fingers off you for a moment, tracing them right above your cleavage, the cool feeling sending chills down your body, causing you to shiver as he paused, his hips in place and tip barely inside your throbbing hole.

your lips moved, trying to communicate your requests, but not a sound came out your vocal chords. armin looked at you with such meekness, but you know him better than just meek.

“armin…” hands caressing up and down his toned chest, you pleaded with the blonde, voice soothed and sexy-like. “you fill me up so well, baby. please let me cum on your cock. ‘want to make you feel good.” you coo. oh you were so hard to resist.

he plays mind games with you and you somehow still win in the end.

“i know you will, doll. you’re always so good to me, ‘love it. i love you.” lips coming to touch yours, you bit his bottom lip as you leaped to wrap your legs around his waist. armin used his hands to support you by the ass, pushing you further against the wall, his dick balls deep inside you.

you were so slippery, his cock dragged inside you with such ease, the wet slick noise as he slams his hips to yours.

“fuck, fuck, baby, yeahhh, god yeah.” your head collapsed against his shoulder, eyes meeting the way his cock dips into you and stretches you in half. you can feel sticky substance dribbling down your ass; you landed back on one of your feet as it was hard to keep balance.

he held you with one of his arms wrapped under your knee, voice shaken. “m-make a mess on my cock, okay sweet girl?” with each of his powerful thrusts, the stall walls shaken, the bolts rattling and the lock trembling. armin was wise to pick a bathroom far away from everyone else as neither of you are the best at being silent.

you were spread for him, he lifted your leg he was holding onto to expose your sorry cunt, all slicked and about to be filled with cum. you moaned with a loud ringing screech, your pussy relentlessly fluttering around armin’s cock as he kept going, hips struggling to keep up the pace.

a low, husky grunt faltered from the blonde’s lips as he coated your cervix white, your lips pressing soft kisses on his slightly bare shoulder, the sleeve of his button up shirt just barely going down his arms.

he lets go of your knee and held you with warm hands on your waist as he sat you down on the toilet. armin’s releases were always heavy, his cum trickled down your inner thigh and some made a small trail on the floor.

he was on his way to open the stall door til you stopped him by grabbing ahold of his arm.

“i’m just gonna get some tissues to clean you up, kay?” he knew what you were going to ask before you even opened your mouth. you nodded, legs too sore and mind too fogged to protest.

armin is smart, but this decision of his was stupid. the other person’s voice was one you know all too well, so rough and sultry, it got your legs shaking back in your late teen years when you preferred fooling around rather than settling for a relationship.

it was armin who opened the door of commitment for you. there’s nothing you’d ever trade for him.

“i heard everything, armin.”

#armin arlert smut #armin smut #attack on titan smut #armin x reader smut #aot smut #armin arlert x reader smut #snk smut #armin x reader #armin arlert x reader #armin arlert x you #armin arlert #armin #snk x reader #aot fanfiction #aot x reader smut

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universitypenguin · 3 years ago

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What happened to u? U okay?

Hello!

First off, thank you for your concern. I appreciate it and I needed it after the past two days. To answer your question - I'm doing great.

I don’t have a lot of context about your question, but I’m guessing your concern is due to my recent blocking spree. A day ago, I went through my followers list and found some minors. I’ve previously seen smut fanfic writers concerned by underage people interacting with their posts. Until I had to block a few of them, I wasn’t aware how uncomfortable it would make me feel.

Since the blocking spree, I've had a lot of thoughts. I'm about to spew them everywhere. You might regret asking me if I was okay. Sorry about that. No one needs to read this whole manifesto about my rollercoaster of emotions the past few days. But in the interest of transparency, I'm posting this very long note.

What I want my readers to know is the following:

Tumblr is both a place for fanfiction and a social media site.

When I interact with followers and write explicit content, I have to be careful about what I'm saying and who I'm saying it to.

I don't intend to block or purge my followers in the future.

As long as I appropriately tag and put warnings on my work, that is adequate protection for my blog. Everything I write containing explicit content is tagged.

However, I won't interact with users who don't have an age stated in their bio.

There have to be boundaries, given the content of my writing. But I've also come around to the realization that I'm not capable of policing every interaction. Tumblr is a public forum. Minors following me makes me uncomfortable. But by the same token, my work is clearly labeled at 18+ and so is my blog.

There's a lot of explicit content out there for minors if you really think about it. In my high school freshman English class we talked about the book "The Color Purple." Believe me, that was explicit and we were only 14. Any minor with a library card and a Google browser can access a lot more intense content than what I write. I hope they're all being safe, but I can't have a melt down blocking spree again.

I'm not a cop, I'm not a parent, and what minors consume is down to them and the adult responsible for them. If I know someone is a minor I'll block them, should I notice they're trying to interact with me. Otherwise, I'm not purging my followers ever again. It's too much drama. I'd rather leave Tumblr than do that twice. I'm tired and I'm starting to work on my post graduate classes, I work full time in a demanding job, I'm in the process of editing my novel, and trying to keep up with my personal life. Quite literally, I don't have time to block. Writing fanfic is supposed to be my fun time. Let's keep it that way.

Due to the fact that some people I blocked were later unblocked after I took a closer look at their blogs, I'm posting a full explanation below. A quick summary is this:

After only writing for three months, I'd amassed 500 followers. On Monday I blocked almost 200 of them. Then I reviewed my block list and editing down some people who were prematurely blocked. [I assume the anon is one of the unblocked who had me disappear from their dash. Sorry!] This blocking thing isn't sustainable. In the future I'll run my blog differently as far as interaction goes in an effort to be responsible.

Continue reading for the saga of:

The Great Blocking Spree and Existential Crisis of an Erotic Fanfic Writer.

The Blocking Spree:

On Monday I realized a thirteen year old was following me and interacting with my work. This creeped me out.

*Commence blocking spree*

Then I realized how daunting my followers list was. I had 500 followers prior to Monday. That day I blocked about 200 people (some of them prematurely - more on that later.) So after the daunting task of trying to assume, to check bios for ages, to review blog content and determine the user's age, I was tired. Today, I even took a moment to reconsider if I wanted to use Tumblr. Because if all this is my responsibility, maybe I don't have the time or dedication to manage it. When I can be chill, I try to be. This attitude also affected by blocking. It contributed to me unblocking people. When I was doing the blocking spree, I'd give people with no age in their bio a fair shot by reviewing their posts.

I blocked some bot accounts, then a bunch of blank blogs, some ambiguous people who very well could be of age. For the first 100 followers I was pretty aggressive. Then my attention span dropped off and I was a bit more ambivalent. I realized I was doing a crappy job of moderating and wondered what the point was.

The point was that the thirteen year old interacting with my work freaked me out. When I found two sixteen year old followers, it pushed me to continue the purge.

So on I go, blocking. I'm so responsible for doing this, right? But my methodology is crap. What is context for being an adult? Someone had posted about budgeting advice. I thought the budgeting advice was too good for it not to have come from an adult. But my father's a financial advisor and to be honest, I could have given that level of advice at fifteen just from osmosis. Someone had pictures of themselves entering their marijuana plants in the Oregon State Fair. Okay, you've got to be over 18. I didn't block them. Someone else complained about their stats professor and I didn't block them. But in retrospect, one of my high school friends got permission to take college level math courses when we were seniors. She was seventeen when she had a stats professor. The thought circles back - what am I accomplishing here? Next, I went back and unblocked someone who ranted about her Tinder matches being 60 year old men. I wondered if their post was even real. I've lied on the internet before. Nonetheless, I persisted and worked through all 500 followers. When I was done I had 312 followers left.

Post Blocking Spree Existential Crisis:

I know that all the blocking in the world can't stop a teenager who wants to read smut fanfic. I'm not much for posting on social media and I'm not used to a lot of anonymous interaction online. Honestly, I got rid of my SM accounts during college when I felt it was wasting my time. This is the first time I've really use a social media site to post content since college. My twitter account is unused, my Instagram is for close personal friends only, and my TikTok is for mindless consumption of cat videos. (I've trained the algorithm to feed me only cat videos, it's great and I highly recommend it.) I don't post on TikTok, so I don't consider it full use, just lurking.

Okay, Alice, get back to the point....

Right, being anonymous on social media. My blocks are a fence and it's based on self identification from the blogs that follow me. I have little faith in underage consumers to out themselves. I have even less faith in their honesty or respect for an adult's boundaries. They're at a stage in life where they want to push the boundaries. Telling them no is all but inviting them in. I did my blocking spree because I was worried about backlash from someone's parents. But what reasonable judge would come after a fanfic writer? Come on. Logical thoughts but me emotional distress was still brewing.

Why I am the one responsible for who clicks the follow button on my blog? I've always clearly identified what I write and tagged my work as smut.

That thought snapped me out of my whirlwind of anxious thoughts. So I started looking into the laws. My regular work involves medicine, not the legal profession, so I was lost. I found some state level laws that made me glad I'd gone on a blocking spree. California and Florida have specific language in their laws about 'providing minors with explicit content.' But what exactly is that? What I researched applied to the following activities: co-writing smut fanfic with other people, sexting, roleplaying and online messaging.

I run a fanfic blog with limited interaction. I've never done an ask. I don't roleplay on here and I don't want to.

The blocks weren't personal. They were partly based on the awareness that Tumblr is an interactive site and a place that's had a problem with child pornography in the past. But I'm not the smut police. I suck at blocking, and I doubt I did a good job of purging my followers list. This is when it hit me that boundaries are only what I can enforce. They've never been about how other people relate to me, only how I relate to them. (Wow. I've never sounded more like my mother in my life...) After this thought, I started considering what actions I ought to take if I wanted to keep posting fanfic on Tumblr.

My Post Blocking Spree Clarity...

It's up to me who I interact with. I don't have to reply to every comment and re-blog, but I'd like to. I'm stuck between wanting to write for everyone and handling interactions on a social media site that's mostly anonymous.

The fact remains: I can't be the smut police because I suck at it.

What I've decided is that I'll make it very clear on my blog that this is an 18+ space where I publish erotic fanfiction. Smut will always be appropriately marked. I'm not going to interact with reviews, re-blogs, and messages from accounts who don't have their age in their profile. I won't include them in my tag list either. The internet is a public forum. Just as with publishing erotica, once it's out there online for download, it's done. As a ghost writer and an author, I don't control who buys my original fiction, which is just as spicy as my fanfiction. (Trust me, it's explicit. I once had a romance editor tell me I should dial it back on the smutty parts of a novel because "it's a lot of sex for a non-erotica market.") The key difference on Tumblr is about interaction. And that's something I can control. I can decide when I reply to other users. What brought me around to this was the realization that even after the blocking spree, I can't review every single like I get. That's an amount of time and mental energy that's beyond me. Just the past two days have been exhausting and sapped my will to write. Which sucks because I need to go write the next chapter of "Restitution" before tomorrow.

I think the reasons I went on the blocking spree are nuanced. The thirteen year old freaked me out. So did the other underaged people who had ages in their bios. But it also relates to my work. In my job I've seen some nasty child abuse cases. Early on in my career, when I was a 23 year old new hire, I was working on an autopsy for a child abuse victim who'd been murdered by their parent. It was so terrible and graphic, I had to ask one of my older colleagues to take the case. This colleague didn't like me. But she took one look at my face and took the file. She closed out the review without a question and never brought it up again to anyone. I was very grateful. Where I used to work (and where this incident took place) was a major city that holds the unfortunate title of being the human trafficking capital of the US. And something I learned working there was that most human trafficking victims go with their captors willingly. In two years at that job, I never saw one who'd been kidnapped from a dark alley like you see on TV. They were all groomed on social media and thought they were escaping their families (who were often overbearing, toxic, or dysfunctional) for a get away with friends. It was a fun adventure with their internet buddies, until it wasn't.

In retrospect, the underage interaction I found on my blog made me react because of what I've been through. The autopsy case kept coming back to me today while I was at work and I've finally untangled my emotions enough to figure out what caused my melt down. When I was blocking, I was feeling an anxious motivation that I know can only stem from the stress I deal with at my job. Don't feel sorry for me about this - I know my work in medicine helps a lot of people and it's a tremendously satisfying career.

Our Saga's Resolution & How I'm Going to Deal With This In The Future...

- - - - -

In post block clarity, I offer this conclusion:

I'm writing on a public forum. My work is appropriately tagged as smut. In the future, I will also use the tag #no minors to help with filtering. I've always asked underage people not to interact. And on a public forum, what more can I reasonably do? Going forward I will only interact with those who have their age posted in their bio. But blocking sprees and policing every interaction isn't feasible.

I'll review how I'm going to run my tag lists as well. I need to think it over and let my followers know my decision as to if I'll continue using them. Because tagging is definitely interaction and my current tag list was not screened at all. *face palm*

Finally, to my readers who have blank blogs or don't have an age listed. I respect your right to privacy and I'm careful with my personal information as well. But I've also had an uncomfortable two days. If you've lasted through this venting session until now, you must understand that I'm upset by underage interaction. I'm setting my own boundaries and going forward, I'll own my side of the internet. No interaction from me, unless I know your age. Full stop - no exceptions. I think it is reasonable for me to suggest that you leave something on your blog that signifies you are not a minor, whatever that may be. Someone who I didn't block that stands out in my memory had a bio that said "90s baby." It was simple, direct, and left no doubt they were over 18. No age reveal and not even a name. If you put something like this on your blog it'll help explicit content creators feel more comfortable about their interactions.

I went on a spree this Monday and I admit to being heavy handed and aggressive about pruning followers. I had an emotional reaction due to work stress and I didn't think things through logically. I'm relieved for the chance explain myself and set new boundaries that I'm capable of sticking to in the future. But remember - the block button is on my side of the screen. At the end of the day, you might be unhappy with me for the block, but it's my button, it's my blog, and I'll use it as I see fit.

Thank you for reading.

#tw vent #tw child abuse #tw trauma #tw violence #tw human trafficking #penguin blog update #new rules #i'm sorry #its been a long week #I almost left tumblr over this #blocking spree #clarity #smut #no minors #smut fanfiction #smut writing #smut blog #I talk about my work trauma from medicine #boundaries

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beatlevmania · 5 years ago

Text

Dating the teddy beatles

Request: I just came back from reading your head cannons and I love them sm!!! Could you write some for what I’d be like dating each of the Teddyboy!Beatles? A/n: How could I possibly ignore this!? ALSO THANK YOU THANK YOU @myukulelegentlyweeps @casafrass and @spaceyantique FOR HELPING ME THROUGH MY WRITER’S BLOCK <3

JOHN

so. john as a teddy boy.

let me tell you, i am VERY well educated on the subject

so we all know john has that very tough guy exterior

at first you were pretty intimidated by him and his friends

but when he first laid eyes on you

he just MELTED

he definitely went after you hardcore

he knew that you were perfect for him and he just needed you in his life

when you guys first got together, he never really let you see his soft side

but one day he had just had a really bad day

and he didnt know who else to go to so he went to you

he just completely let down his walls and you saw the real him.

he just wraps those arms around you and just lets it all out

and you stroke his hair and kiss his cheeck and whisper that you love him

afterwards he gets kinda embarassed but you just remind him that you love him- all of him

anyway enough with the sad parts

john DIES when you wear his leather jacket. like DIES

he wants everyone to know that you’re HIS girl

he’s always touching you- holding your hand, sitting you on his lap, arm around your shoulders

he kinda just needs reassurance that youre gonna be there for him no matter what

he always calls you “birdie”, “little girl”

so when he calls you by your actual name

he says it so tenderly and jsut with so much love in his eyes

Ok also a plus

Mimi LOVES YOU

SHes always inviting you around which makes you feel like part of the family

Anyway, John loves your alone time together

AND CUDDLING

he likes playing guitar for you

not just his rock and roll songs, but love songs hes written

songs he’d never show anyone else

and he’s so gentle and soft and his sweet little voice-

PAUL

so paul still never really wrapped his brain around the fact that you loved him back

like he just could not believe his luck

youre always reassuring him that you love him

and that you’re his: “Paul, you know I’m already your girlfriend, right?”

and when you tell him you love him, he gets all red and blushy and smiles from ear to ear

he always flirts with you and is the cheekiest little bastard

he makes many a dirty joke that make you chuckle but blush at the same time

but anyway just imagine the most romantic boy in the whole world

even though some of the boys make fun of him for being so open and vulnerable with you, he couldn’t imagine your relationship any other way

you guys are always fantasizing about when you will just run away together, to a little farm in the country

paul is mature beyond his years with you

of course when he hangs out with the other boys hes an absolute crackhead but boys will be boys

his favorite activity is kissing you and beware he will do it as often as possible

ANYTIME, ANYWHERE

also, expect tons of little gifts

when you wear a pair of earrings he's bought for you, or a little necklace with both your initials

i mean- you know what this boy’s gonna do

he always brings you around with him wherever he goes

especially band practice

bc he just loves showing you off

but if any of the other boys start getting a little too close to u

they better watch out if u know what i mean

but Paul really is just the absolute best boyfriend we all know the deal

GEORGE

alright so lets establish the fact that teddy Geo is BABEY

also #boyf

continuing on

so our lil Georgie just fell head over heels for you the second he saw you

we was just a nervous mess around you

the boys literally had to ask you out for him because he was so nervous

but you guys absolutely hit it off and became INSPEREABLE

you do everything together

going to the diner for breakfast, going to every concert together,

you’re at each others houses 24/7, too

you always steal geo’s clothes and wear them

tshirts, sweaters, jackets (leather jacket too), basically anything of his you have worn at some point

he loves when you wear his clothes and thinks you look absolutely beautiful

so we all know Geo could look very scary with his like

fangs

and his big ol’ cheekbones

but damn is this boy a cuddlebug

he wants to be cuddling/hugging all the time

of course as the youngest of all 4 boys geo wants to seem like a tough guy

like he can fit in with the others, or he’s just as “man”

but when the two of you are alone, all he wants is for you to take care of him

you love playing with the hair at the nape of his neck while he cuddles you

also, since you go to all of his concerts and shows, they go on pretty late and you can get tired

so George always brings you around to his place and gives you his stuff to wear, and he takes such good care of you

even gently brushing your hair and getting you ready for bed

you both fall asleep with your arms wrapped around each other

george thinks you’re absolutely beautiful just wearing any old outfit, no makeup on

but when you dress up

this boy freaks the freak out

he can’t stop staring at you just in awe

he gets all smiley and blushy

and he smiles with those lil fangs

babey

RINGO

So teddy Ringo was quite intimidating looking

Like even the boys were afraid of him at first when the first met him

But I can imagine the first time you two talked, you both just immediately fell for each other

And you saw he was the absolute sweetest boy ever

FIRST OF ALL RINGOS LITTLE STUBBLE/BEARD THING IS SO HAWT

Anyway now that I got that off my chest

Ringo is so sweet and thoughtful

He loves calling you little nicknames like “honey” or “darling”

Like John, he always wants you in his arms

Literally at all times

He also is always giving you behind-the-back hugs, playing with your hair, kissing your knuckles

Always needing to show you how much he loves you

He loves when you come to band practice and sit on his lap when he plays the drums

He feels like a freaking winner of life

Another thing

He is so so proud that you chose HIM, of all people

He’s constantly reminding people that your “his bird”

Like to everyone

The boy loves you insane amounts

Sometimes you steal his rings and wear them around, and he literally smiles from ear to ear when he notices

You try to get Ringo to stop smoking

And it’s really hard for him but he knows he has to do it, for you

He really just wants you to be proud of him

And whenever you tell him, “good job, baby!” He just GLOWS

Also ometimes, when you guys are lying together on his bed after a show, he tells you about his dreams for the future

And how he wants you there by his side through it all

“I couldn’t imagine life without ‘ya, honey,” he says, kissing the top of your head as you doze off together

Ok let me live out my fantasies ok

Anyway I’m in love with teddy Ringo and thats period Pooh

#Beatles headcannons #teddy boy beatles #beatle x reader fluff #beatle x reader headcannons #teddy John lennon #teddy Paul mccartney #teddy ringo starr #teddy George Harrison #beatle x john lennon #beatle x George Harrison #beatle x ringo starr #beatle x paul Mccartney #1950s #1960s #headcannon #beatles hc #beatle x reader hc

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domjaehyun · 3 years ago

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hii!!!! i’ve been on ur blog only for a lil while but i had to send an ask bc HELLLOOO !!! girl. ur fics are so good. literally so bomb. cream of the crop. let me live in ur brain i wanna be capable of this shit girl this is IT !!! my fav is six thirty ,, i was on the edge but ya converted me to a hyuck bias . where i belong tbh he’s a menace like me- king shit!! but six thirty literallly so amazing!!! haechans characterization in it is so good and he’s so cute and the relationship dynamic is so well written and cute bae !!! also just asking - legit no pressure for real last thing i want to do is have u think i’m requesting or pressuring u - i was just curious if the positions song fic collection is going to be continued bc ik u have an old nct masterlist but yea just curious literally !! don’t answer if u don’t know :D BUT MAIN POINT IS U ARE AN AMAZING AND INSANELY TALENTED WRITER !!!! thank you sm for ur fics appreciate them so so much

........anon i lov u i think ... hi omg *deep breath* HIIIII THANK YOU SO MUCH WTF WTF not gonna lie the six thirty praise hits super fucking hard right now because . i am actually Deeply In Love with haechan like . i would say exponentially more than i loved him when i wrote that fic .... it's bad for me y'all .... but YEAH OKAY MOVING ON . i rly do love that fic a lot it has a special place in my heart .... it means so much to me ......... hhHHHHH thank you so fucking much omg (more under the cut sorry i wrote kind of a lot dfjkhgskd)

ALSO !!!! i don't feel pressured at all dw dw your vibes are wonderful and i can tell there's no malice behind it 💖 will say with 100% certainty that i have absolutely every intention to continue the positions collection !!! i rly do have a v like... kinda personal connection to that collection bc that album means a Lot To Me dfjksgjkd so !! yes, 100%, i intend to finish it at some point!!

just as a lil......fun secret between u and me (i say on a public blog with thousands of followers jdfghlkj) the next one i'd probably post would be west side (the jeno fic i added in the like "extended version" post or whatever, if you don't wanna go check) because i actually . have it fully planned i just kept feeling some sort of block when i was trying to write it months ago so i temporarily shelved it !!

but ALSO . another bonus secret bc i like u: i am v strongly considering changing at least one of the upcoming fics to being about haechan 👀 when i made the plans for the fics, i was kinda going off of 1) who i actually like and enjoy writing for and 2) the desire to keep the members involved kinda diverse? like i didn't just want it to be like . the same members over and over again yknow? but ... since then ... i was kinda like . well i don't rly want to write about some of these members anymore ... and so i most likely will end up changing one to being abt haechan!!!! (possibly 2 but i'm not fully sure abt the second one yet) (yes, you can ask which one(s) if you're curious, i won't mind)

BUT YEAH sorry this was long sfkgjsdk i got excited 😭 i actually adore ppl like u and messages like these like they make me so happy to see !!!!

OKAY FOR REAL I'M SHUTTING UP IN A SEC !!! but like . just as a teeny weeny psa: if i made, like, a promise or a commitment to writing something, i cannot imagine any regular circumstance where i would like . just Not Do It. this goes for:

quarantine chronicles pt 3 (believe it or not it is fully planned i just haven't started writing)

any of the positions collection fics (even if the member might change, the fic will still get published)

and, of course, any commissions i've received and accepted (like . i am Going to write them i do not care if it kills me)

now of course if something like. absolutely terrible happens to me that might change the situation but like . the things i consider like "absolutely terrible" are very improbable so . TLDR; IT MIGHT TAKE ME SOME TIME BUT I TRY EXCEPTIONALLY HARD TO KEEP MY WORD !!

anyway . thank u for this very lovely message i lov u and i hope you have a WONDERFUL day / night depending on when you read this!!

#answered #anon

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blund3r-bust3r · 4 years ago

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I love your writing sm and was wondering if u had any tips?? Just on anything really lol, bc I sort of wanna try writing more lol

oh thank you so much! super flattered you want my advice lol. i’m just a hobbyist but i do have some tricks that i’ve picked up from the internet over the years that might be useful. wall of info inbound:

i’ll begin with workflow optimization because that’s more likely to be put into practice. staying comfortable is important :D for starters, i never type on a white background. the first thing i do when i open a new document is change the page color to a light green (my go-to is #C5E0B3). looks a little like this:

doing this helps to lower the contrast between background and type to reduce eye fatigue. idk about you but my job already has me staring at a screen for nine hours a day and the last thing i need is go blind from working in a default word doc. google docs can do this too. this also goes for themes -- change your word processor’s theme to a dark mode!

adding onto that, never use your pc in a dark room. like, in general, but doubly-so for writing. the blue light isn’t good for your eyes, and on top of that, if you need to look at your keyboard to see what you’re typing, you’ll strain yourself further just trying to see the keys. i always have a lamp on when i’m writing, even during the day

not a bad idea to invest in a good chair if you use a desktop. if not, be sure to take frequent breaks so your spine doesn’t implode. additionally, and completely unnecessarily, mechanical keyboards can make writing really fun cause they go CLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICK super loud and it can be pretty satisfying. but maybe reconsider if you have a roommate lmao

fonts. my first draft is always written in comic sans cause it’s a silly little font and i like to look at it. however, when i go to edit, i switch it all back to calibri because the font shift helps my brain recalibrate and catch those errors i might have missed initially. two pairs of eyes are always better than one, but if you’re like me and you don’t use beta readers, this might be your next best option

cloud services! preferably a free one, like google docs. since we’re working with type documents, we really don’t need a lot of storage, so the free ones work just fine. super useful for access across devices, something i use frequently since i switch between desktop and laptop depending on how i’m feeling. more importantly, it allows you backups in case something gets lost or corrupted. take it from an animation student: CLOUD SERVICES ARE YOUR FRIEND. i always upload my wips and completed documents to a dedicated folder online. it’s a good habit

do you listen to music to focus? i sure as hell can’t. even instrumentals throw me off sometimes. what i like to do if i can’t focus, or if there’s some external noise distracting me (which is often), is pull up some 10 hour oscillating fan video on youtube and crank that shit until my ears are pure white noise. works like a charm

alright now on to the actual writing tips. these are what i found work for my process but maybe some could benefit yours too

at minimum, know your beginning and ending. it doesn’t have to be super specific but it does help having a goal in mind of where you want your characters to end up. the details can come later

outlines are nice! but they don’t work for everyone. some fic writers just blast on through without anything guiding them and i consider those people to be above mortal weakness. others like to plan so they always know where they’re heading next (i’m others). an outline should never be too detailed though, at risk of it becoming too rigid. leave yourself room for freedom by saving the intricacies for the writing process

also, outlines don’t necessarily have to be finished! as long as you know your ending, partial outlines are sometimes enough to get you started. that’s how i’m doing things with my story

don’t get married to your ideas. sometimes things change and those plans you had for later don’t fit anymore. this is totally okay, because odds are, whatever those changes were, they're necessary enough to warrant removing those ideas to begin with

you don’t have to write from point A to point B all the time. sometimes i get bored with a scene and i put it on hold and move on to another one that i think might be more fun in the meantime. you’ll always have time to stitch it together later

set a word count minimum whenever you sit down to write. it doesn’t have to be recurring, and it doesn’t have to be big. just whatever you feel like you can hit. a thousand sound like too much right now? go for five hundred. or three hundred. it doesn’t matter the size of the goal as long as you’re able to reach it. helps keep your mental happy

use periods more often. this might sound kinda silly, but trust me. snappier sentences are easier to follow. it also inadvertently avoids run-on sentences, which, in my experience, give me a sense of anxiety because i tend to read through those faster, like i’m in a hurry. idk if it’s the same for everyone, but whatever feeling it invokes, it’s probably not the one you’re intending. so, periods

which reminds me! fight scenes: shorter sentences, less detail. your readers don’t have to see everything as it perfectly plays out in your head. just give them a general idea and let their imaginations fill in the rest. dialogue: the less you can say in quotations, the better. saves wordcount too. sometimes it’s unavoidable and that’s whatever, especially in informal writing like fic, but it’s good to keep in mind. another good thing to keep in mind? you don’t have to lay out a whole setting in the first paragraph. sprinkling in details throughout a scene to slowly paint the picture of a subject / setting is a lot more engaging

i think my biggest thing when it comes to fic is FORMAT YOUR STORY!!! by which i mostly mean paragraphs. you don’t even have to know the rules when it comes to indenting necessarily. just remember that too many paragraphs is better than two little. reading long, singular blocks of text can not only be intimidating, but draining. here’s some simple rules to keep in mind if you’re ever not sure when to indent: if a new person is speaking, indent. if the subject switches, indent. if you REALLY want to put emphasis on a particular sentence, indent. and then indent again so that sentence is all on its own :)

obviously the rules of writing are super flexible and nothing is set in stone so you can do whatever suits your style. i know it’s a lot lol but i hope at least one thing in here makes your life a little easier! good luck with your future stories :D

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sunnysidewrites · 7 years ago

Text

Neighbor!Woozi

based on this post hehehe

i just fed yall TWICE. in the span of just 2 DAYS!!! AND THEY’RE BOTH MORE OR LESS THE SAME LONG ASS LENGTH!!! yeah that’s right i went overboard again gtg

happy happy bday to the lovely admin bee of @mansaeboysbe you are such a beautiful person inside and out, and im incredibly proud to know someone like you :’))) i’ve already sent a bday message to you so im not tryna redo it LOL but just know that i love you a whole lot and i always will! 💗💗💗💗💓💓 (she’s also the same person who gave me those beautiful headers on my mlist so please give her tons of love <333) love you sm hub hope you have a wonderful and fantastic day!!!

*to all the mutuals with bdays that have either passed or are coming up, i love you all SO FREAKING MUCH so pls dont feel left out!! it just so happened that i wanted to write this au for a long time and i wanted to present it as a bday gift for this jihoon stan hehe but i rlly love each every single one of u ok babes? <333*

warnings: i feel like i dragged this on for too long but i hope it’s still cute :’)) also i put in a joke like twice LOL anyways lil wooz only gets tongue-tied around you so you become his muse for songs

You were looking for a place to stay in bc “I am a grown adult i am not living with yall anymore” you @ your parents

And they’re like lol ok Good Luck Kiddo

After a month and a half of deeeeep searching you finally find a reasonably priced place to live in

It’s quite a distance from your parents’ home but it’s the point of you moving out to begin with

On the move-in day, you’re carrying your boxes up to your new apartment complex and you hear some tunes drifting from your next door neighbor

And you’re like hey this is actually really good music but i’ve never heard of it

You shrug it off and continue settling in

Once you finished hauling your boxes, you were about to pass out on your couch

Ok you actually did pass out on your couch

But you had to unpack some necessities later that night for bathroom and bedroom purposes

All you had for dinner was pop in some instant ramen and call it a night. You then hopped in the shower and got ready for bed

The following morning it was primarily you unpacking and shifting around your furniture a little but it was challenging by yourself

You were making a good amount of noise and in the middle of the day you were met with a very loud knock on your door

And you were in the middle of unpacking your kitchenware so you were like oh shoot ahh i’ll be right there!!

Little did you know your next door neighbor wasn’t having any of it

Can’t I get some peace and quiet around here? He grumbled as he impatiently waited for you to open the door

I swear, I’m gonna tell them off they won’t even knOW what will hit--

You finally opened the door, and he’s like oh. My gosh.

You had a few pieces of hair sticking to your forehead and your hair was tied back in a messy bun

You were dressed in a faded coral tee underneath a pair of worn-out denim overalls with house slippers

Everything he planned to complain about suddenly vanished and his first thought was:

“Is that Pikachu on your front pocket?”

Apparently he said that aloud, which he didn’t register until he saw you giggling

“Yeah, it was a hand-me-down! Still cute, right?”

And he’s kinda still just staring at you with his mouth slightly agape

And you’re like oh right ahem did you need anything?

That’s when he notices the utter mess behind you: plastic covering still over some of your furniture, half-emptied boxes littered in almost every inch of the floor, etc.

And that’s when it hits him: all that noise was you unpacking

“O-oh yeah, I just,, wanted to let you know that it was getting a little loud since I live right next door”

He silently curses at himself like i almost went off at my new neighbor rip that wasn’t gonna be a good first impression

Luckily for him, you were chill about it and you’re like omg sorry!!! It’s a little tough doing this by myself, sorry for the ruckus

Before he could stop himself, he blurted out, “do you need any help?”

Jihoon internally: u doofus u have an album to produce whAT ARE U DOING

Jihoon externally: i can help you :))) no matter how smol i may be

But that internal reprimanding melted away when he saw your eyes light up in relief and you’re practically bouncing up and down

“Would you, really??? It would be great if I had another hand around! Oh, but you’re probably occupied doing something, right??” and you feel bad that a stranger, your next door neighbor nonetheless, was about to abandon his work just for you

A cute neighbor, at that

Jihoon is like ok this is your chance to get away and go back to work cmon man

But there’s just something about you that pulls him in magnetically and he finds himself trying to reason internally that it’ll just be for a “few moments”

Yyyeaaahhh that doesn’t happen lmao rip Jihoon’s songs

Jihoon is just like “nah it’s fine I can help out for a bit” and you’re like god bless this human being

When you open your door further to let him in, he’s like oh right btw I’m Jihoon

“I’m y/n! Sorry about the mess, I only got here yesterday evening”

He shakes his head and quirks up his lips ever so slightly, “i remember when my place looked like this too except replace this space with music production things”

And you’re like ooOOoOoOO you make songs??? That’s amazing!!

And that’s when you got the ball rolling!!!

“A few moments” turn into hours and the next thing you know it’s dinnertime

“Oh crap sorry for keeping you for this long,,, those songs won’t produce themselves, right? I think I can take it from here”

Admittedly, jihoon didn’t wanna leave just yet bc he actually enjoyed your company and it was nice taking a break from staring at his screen frustratedly

“Well, I don’t mind helping out. I could show you my work one day if you want”

And you’re like holy cheeseballs yES

He starts getting up and brushing off his clothes and you’re a little sad that he’s leaving and he kinda is too :(

“If you’re not too busy tomorrow, you’re welcome to help me out more! I mean, you already helped me a whole lot today, but there’s still some things left to do”

As much as his brain is telling him to NOT DO IT,,,,

He does it

Next thing you know, jihoon is at your door again around the same time and he has something in his hand

As you let him inside, you ask him what it is and he’s like ;))))

“It’s a CD that compiled just a few songs I thought you might like”

And you’re #shook bc did he really just have a CD like this out in the open or did he really take his time yesterday to transfer songs on it??

“Do you have a player or a laptop?”

“Yeah, my laptop is on my bed, you can bring it out here!” You shout over your shoulder as you arrange your things in the living room

Shortly afterwards he emerges from the hallway and he presses a few buttons and clicks here and there and beautiful melodies ring out from your speakers

You can’t help but stop rustling to take in the sweet tunes and you’re just like :’))) have i heard anything so beautiful??? :’)))

One of the songs sound vaguely familiar and you realize it’s what you heard when you first arrived here

“Did you actually produce this??? This sounds like an actual song you can hear on the radio”

And he’s like yep made by yours truly!!!

He was only using “yours truly” half-metaphorically if you know what I mean ;)))

You keep bouncing to all the catchy tunes and swaying to the soulful ones

And in all honesty, seeing your reactions makes Jihoon feel really warm and even a little proud bc it’s one of the biggest reasons why he loves his job so much

He makes eye contact with you and you’re like :D and he’s like ahEM COuGh coUGh i’m gonna dust this shelf over here

He suddenly stands up and busies himself and you’re like ???? okie dokie

He’s a real help around the place and you’re practically done settling in

As you survey your fresh living space, you can’t help but feel a little…. Disheartened?

Bc it was actually really fun to have him around even while he made blunt remarks about your taste of decorations

“This looks like something my five-year-old niece would have”

“For your information, I got that from a five-year-old!! It’s cute, alright!”

You spent the past three days with Jihoon unpacking and talking about whatever comes to mind

Jihoon is pretty devastated that he has to go back to his makeshift studio in his room as much as he will never admit it

He eventually leaves your place and the both of you are just sad little puppies

From then on, every time you pass by each other, you greet him with a friendly smile and wave and you never fail to make his heart skip several beats

You don’t talk as much as how you first started bc he’s gotten much busier trying to mass-produce a lot of songs

For some strange reason, every time you hear a melody coming from the other side of the walls, you feel like you’re somehow connected with him

Well, except for the muffled cursing LMAO

And sometimes you would also hear several male voices at once and you’re guessing they’re his friends or the people he’s working with on the song, but based on their friendly banter and the constant run-throughs, it’s probably both

You would hear the same melody play over and over again, and you’re guessing he’s stuck on a certain part of a song as he tries to recreate new melodies from that point on

“aaAAGHGHHHGGHHHH” *deep sigh* me trying to overcome writer’s block LMAO

This would happen for about half an hour and you can’t help but wanting to reach out to him, but you’re not exactly the most musically-inclined person sadly

When he ultimately calms down, he goes back to working on the song until he finally gets the results he desires

More often than not, you fall asleep from hearing the slow ballads he creates with a smile on your face

Lil Jihoon does try to visit you and vice versa!! He sometimes shows up with random food and more CDs and you’re wondering just how many songs has this guy produced in his lifetime??? He looks around the same age as you but he’s probably produced 26+ songs by the way he packs a decent amount on each CD

Usually his excuse to sharing a meal with you is that ��the guys brought over too much and i have a ton of leftovers that i can’t finish by myself”

In reality, he stared at a restaurant’s menu and contemplated for about twenty minutes about what you would like. This guy’s got dedication not just for work

“Would it be weird if i get fried chicken?? Maybe just a bowl of noodles?? What if soup is better??? It would give weird vibes if i bought drinks too, right?? Or should i just go ahead and buy them???”

Regardless of what he buys, you’re eager to eat anything and everything with your fav neighbor *wink wonk*

You feel bad when he would do that though, so you try to return the favor every so often as well

One time, you ordered some takeout but the servings were waaaaay bigger than advertised and you’re like Idea!! Let’s head over next door!! So you took the plastic bags and put in some drinks before heading out the door

You knocked on the door and that was when you heard light chatter on the other side of the door

You’re like sldjfljds i hope im not interrupting anything aaa mAYBE I SHOULD JUST LEAVE--

Too late, someone’s voice rang out “I’ll get it!” and next thing you know, the door swings out to reveal a face you’ve never seen before

“Oh, hi!” He says a little surprisedly but with a smile nevertheless

“H-hi, umm,,,, is Jihoon there?”

The guy is nodding his head in the direction of the back hallway, “yeah, he’s in the bathroom” and that’s when he looks down at your hands and his eyes instantly light up

“Omg did you bring food?? You’re so thoughtful!! Come in, come in!!” and before you could protest he literally drags you in and you’re met with a bunch of other strangers who are staring back at you like :oooo????

“Who’s this?? Jihoon never mentioned someone coming over today,, AND YOU CAN’T JUST DRAG SOMEONE IN THIS ISN’T YOUR HOME”

And you’re like ya i didnt know either lmao

You’re awkwardly shifting on your feet and praying jihoon will pop up instantaneously bc you’re gonna melt in embarrassment

“I just wanted to give him some of this,” you hold up your hands to gesture your food, “since it’s too much for me to finish on my own”

“Oh that’s cool! Some of the other guys are actually out to get more lunch, but food goes out fast with all of us here,” another guy says as he pats your shoulder reassuringly. “Well, since you’re already here, you can join us!”

“I-it’s ok! I hope I wasn’t interrupting anything, I just wanted to deliver this,,, I’ll get going” and you’re about to zOOM outta there but the same guy who ushered you in is like nO DONT LEAVE

“We’re taking a lunch break, so it’s cool if you join us! I’m Soonyoung” and he’s like :DDD and you’re just like ,,,, what a hyper guy but i like him

Everyone goes around to introducing themselves

you do a headcount of 8 and you remember there’s more guys getting food for them,,,, holy heck how many people do they have???? You’re about to introduce yourself after them but then

“Soonyoung, who was at the door--” a familiar voice calls out in the hallway before he emerges

And jihoon is like dsljLSJDF what the hELL

“Y/N??? What are you doing here???” *side eyes soonyoung*

And everyone’s making eyes at each other like waIT WAIT THIS IS Y/N???

“Soonyoung dragged me inside”

“Gdi soonyoung, how many times do i have to tell you that you can’t go around dragging people to join us???”

This guy who you think is named Seokmin pipes up, “yeah he does this all the time at our workplace too. A lot of our coworkers always end up extending their stay for far too long” and you’re nodding slowly like yeahhh i can see that happening

Soonyoung’s eyes are widened and he turns to jihoon like “is this the y/n that inspired your recent so--”

And jihoon is quick to cover his mouth so his voice is all muffled

“aHahaAHHAH soonyoung’s always the joker, april fools day!!! Let’s set the table, the others should be back soon”

jihoon whispering to soonyoung: you better sleep with one eye open tonight boi

And you’re like uhh alrighty :)))???

About twenty minutes after you’ve arrived, there’s another knock on the door

Soonyoung is practically bouncing on his way to the door and you can hear more unknown voices

They’re filing in and they suddenly stop and look at you like wait what

Them: :o????

You: :))),,, what up

Jeonghan briefly explains the situation to the guy who came in the door first and you’re lowkey intimidated bc he seems to be eldest and looks like he could beat you up to a pulp

BOY WERE YOU WRONG

After jeonghan tells him, he breaks out into this gigantic, cute gummy smile like welcome!! :DD i’m seungcheol! And the other guys behind him follow suit

Jeonghan’s like “this is,, y/n” and everyone tries to be subtle and nods like they didn’t hear jihoon babble on and on about you for weeks

You: ok why do yall act all weird when my name is brought up whAT DID JIHOON TELL YOU

Them: i would tell you but i don’t wanna die just yet sorry dude

Jihoon, somewhere in the kitchen: SET! THE! TABLE!

You end up staying there for a pretty long time, bonding over the whole feast you have and it’s really lively and fun, not to mention super loud with 13 guys in the same room,,, but you’re genuinely having a good time

Jihoon would glance at you nervously occasionally to check on you if you’re uncomfortable in any way

Jeonghan, who’s sitting next to him, notices jihoon’s eyes are practically glued to you and he’s like “is this the part where you confess your undying love and propose”

And jihoon is like shUT UP NO WHAT this chicken tastes great *quickly chugs down water*

You look back at jihoon sometimes and see he looks flushed but it’s not like he’s drinking alcohol

“Jihoon are you feeling ok?? Your ears are bright red” which obviously makes them redder rip

“I-i’m fine,, wow is it hot in here maybe it’s just the spiciness of the chicken let’s open the windows”

You eventually leave them as much as they protest and even try to get Jihoon to guilt trip you (unsuccessfully)

“Don’t leave just yet y/n!! You should stay, right Jihoon???”

“Huh?? O-oh yeah, I mean, you can if you want,,,,, we kinda need to work though”

Everyone’s looking at jihoon like bro wTF are u kidding me

Rip reader i can feel your heart drop :’(((

You’re feeling slightly dejected but you nod understandingly. You’ve already stayed far longer than you anticipated anyways, and work comes first for Jihoon

“Yeah, I totally get it! Good luck on the album guys!” You put on your shoes and close the door

When they finally hear your own door close, they’re attacking jihoon like

“SO Y/N IS THE ONE BEHIND ALL YOUR SAPPY LOVE SONGS HUH!!!”

“I knew it, the lyrics just suddenly got cheesier -- there had to be someone behind all of that”

And jihoon is just praying you won’t hear what they’re saying like “SHUT UP THESE WALLS ARE THIN”

Back at your apartment, it suddenly feels much emptier and lonelier

“What am i doing,,, I just met the guys for like two hours???”

You sigh and you try to busy yourself doing other things but you hear a loud commotion on the other side of the walls with just a bunch of incoherent shouting

You smile and laugh to yourself when you think about how close they all are

Your smile slowly fades when you start wishing you wanna be close to Jihoon and you’re like snAP OUT OF IT!!!

A couple of weeks pass by uneventfully but you notice that Jihoon has gotten more reserved around you

It’s just him being bashful around you and he panics every time he sees you but obviously he doesn’t want you to know that

You’re standing at your little mini balcony and admiring your cute little cactus plants

Just as you start thinking about him and his wellbeing, you hear your name and you’re like wHO’S THERE

You look down and see Jihoon staring back at you and honestly he looks like he’s awestruck by your whole beauty bc seriously everything you wear always looks super good to him

[insert photo]

(also pretend he’s holding plastic bags)

He holds up his hands and you’re laughing bc you know exactly what that means

“Come on up!”

There’s a knock on your door promptly afterwards and what do you know!!! It’s the man himself!!!

It’s just funny how the both of you have this ongoing routine that you know what to expect

When you let him in, he places the bags on your table and quickly smiles to himself when he sees your laptop on your bed

You and Jihoon both mindlessly do your respective roles as usual

He slowly comes out in the living room with your laptop and he’s like “so the album is pretty much done now,,, i can’t release all of the songs yet but there’s one i want you to listen to. I’ll show you after we eat”

You’re like ooo im excited and you start catching up with him as you’re eating

You can’t contain your excitement any longer, so as soon as you eat the last bit of your food, you’re like “oKAY SHOW ME IT NOW” as you’re restlessly shifting on your legs

He nods and pulls up the media player on your laptop. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath before pressing play

It’s a melody you’re quite acquaintanced with after hearing it countless times at night, the same tune that lulls you to sleep

You have high expectations for this song, and surely he surpasses them with flying colors

You’re enjoying the song and telling him “wow this is a really good song!” when suddenly some lyrics catch your attention

You hear something about messy hair pulled back, ruffled clothes, eating meals

And you’re like huh that sounds a lot like us haha is that supposed to be me??

Jihoon is avoiding eye contact with you and looking down at his fidgeting hands as the song progresses in its later verses

The lyrics talk about wanting to develop a deeper relationship, one where “it’s okay to tell me anything, your hardships and desires. I just want to see you smile” and you’re like wait,,,,

And one of the final lyrics says something about “i can’t help feeling like this, will you accept my hand?” and you’re like wait wait w a i t

The song comes to an end and silence fills the room

You’re not sure whether you should speak up first or wait for him, but either way you’re speechless and wouldn’t know what to say anyways

Jihoon clears his throat awkwardly and stumbles on his words poor bby

“S-so, yeah,,,, I’ve been working on this one the longest,,,, umm do you,,, like it?”

But you know better that he’s not just talking about the song

“Nah sorry man i’m not interested”

“O.”

April fools kiddos ofc you are

“....yeah. I do like it”

And he finally brings himself to look at you and he’s like !!!!! really????

“Wait, for real??? You actually like it???”

He’s pretty much paralyzed in shock and all he can do is watch your hand move towards his and hold it

“I like it a lot, Jihoon :)”

He blinks slowly and he can’t fight the grin that spreads on his face as he grips your hand back

“I’m accepting your hand now heehee ^^”

“Okay let’s not talk about that”

122 notes · View notes

onlyjihoons · 7 years ago

Text

onlyjihoons’ first follow forever!

i’m so sorry this took so so long, it was meant to be done/posted on the first anniversary of this blog(25/12/17) but i didn’t have the time to do so:( if i left out anyone, feel free to let me know!

i’ll place this under the cut, so it doesn’t clog up posts:”)

personal mentions

@markleetrashh

cheryl! i can never forget or leave you out honestly, because you’re the first ever mutual i met on tumblr! i remember being uncertain about myself and you cheering me on to write my first fic:”) you have been there for me, be it in the very beginnings of mochamark, to now that we are going to our seperate post-secondary instituitions, you are really really one of my bestest friends irl too. please never ever be scared to just talk to me whenever especially since most of the time i approach you to scream over clinic boy and jihoon if you need someone to talk to! i love you very very so so much, i hope we can last forever till we are old and still scream over markipoo💜 and thank you for teaching me the birds and bees at 12am

@jjeehoon

jennifer! we didn’t really meet through tumblr honestly, i approached you first on wattpad because you opened a graphic shop, and we just hit it off when we talked when you still hardcore stanned jihoon but now you still scream over dorm jihoon with brown parted hair and i like that we can talk about everything under the sun and still joke sm. i love you so so much, even if we’re 18 hours away from each other i constantly want to fly to toronto just to give you a hug:”) here’s to more of me roasting you and our friendship heh

@alliwannado-w1

iris! you’re one of the first people to approach me to make friends, and till now i can never forget that. it’s really crazy how you actually came over to stay at my house for 4 days, i had so much fun with you and xuan it was the best days of 2017. it is a really big pity that you have to leave tumblr like that, i would miss you and your 3am posts on tumblr:( i vividly remember the last night where we just talked about everything and i nearly cried:(( you’re really an older sister i never had, and you filled that void for me even if it was just for 4 days. i’ll try to arrange a trip to KL when i can so i can visit you and your durian farm and your family! i love you and good luck with college💕

@hwangminn

rissa! i don’t know where to start honestly, you’re really mature for your age and i’m so thankful for you, making the constant effort to placate my clingy/whiny ass out of your busy schedule to talk to me. also being my #1 counsellor, and supporter, i really want to visit alberta to hug you, and thank you for everything. even with tricky timezones, you always manage to chat up with me, and also snek with me hahah i hope you don’t stress yourself too much with school, stay healthy and happy! i love you💚💚

@whatabrightplace/ @tinaneggo

tina! i can never thank you enough for being there for me whenever you can, and being honest with me about everything. i really love how youre just so swaggy with everything even when youre busy. you have also helped me through some rough parts of my mental state, and im so so grateful for that. as much as you tell me i’m good, you also excel in many parts i don’t and i’m proud of you for that. please don’t overstress yourself and stay happy! i love you💙💙

@pwjins/ @seo-yeons

allison! you’re someone i can learn sm from, applying for scholarships and juggling everything as a whole. even tho we don’t talk very often, we do go a lil crazy when we do haha, relating to many problems as 01 liners, and talking about anything and everything. i really want to fly over to wherever you are to give you a big hug, and just spend a day out together or something. i hope you achieve whatever you dreamed of and i love you🧡

@cannedapricot

apricot! i’m so thankful for you, when you confessed that you read my works since mochamark days i was really shocked. you never fail to hype me up, and support me through everything. we always have wild conversations it just cracks me up whenever i think of it haha. congrats on getting the classes you wanted, i’m so happy for you, and you worked hard. nEver doubt yourself!! i’ll always support you and i love you please cut down on the swearing too

@hwinkinghwi

xuan! im so thankful for you being there for me for everything, and we just complain about anything and everything its so funny omg. we both have similar traits and we always support each other throughout im really grateful;-; youre also there for me when im really hyper and stuff, im glad you havent actually blocked me asdfghjkl i love you and dont over-stress yourself for school!

@xiupch

shuri! we only started talking like this year and i dont regret it;-; you’ve been always making me laugh, with the venn diagram of winkzee vs jeongzee i cant breathe while thinking of it hahahaah i hope you stay healthy and happy and i love you<3

@wannawrite

L! i really enjoy talking to you as we do know the same people from your school and you’re the younger sister who always has my back! im so thankful for you even tho we don’t talk very often due to school and other commitments, i hope you do well in school! 姐姐爱你多多ok!!

Nic! i know we don’t really talk but thank you for sending me the letter! i was really touched that you sent me a letter and im sorry i have nothing to send in return;-; i hope you do well in secondary school and don’t be like me, a dumb ass who only does late minute studying:”)

@hyunjinh

jas wifey,, till this day i have no idea how i married sucha beatiful being i cry tears of jealousy every time i see your pics ugh. truly, a power couple jasxhyunjin jeongin and i are shaking:”) even tho you always have a bad habit of ghosting on me and sending me 1 second snaps, i still love you nonetheless and i hope we can talk more!! be it roasting/snakeing or screaming over hyunjin i’ll always be here to talk and i hope you can get your biopsych major!! i’ll be your exclusive reporter ok💘

@deepdickdaniel

ariane! youre one of the best moms i have on tumblr, telling and teaching me everything a true mother would:”) even though we don’t talk often, the things we talk about when we do are truly hilarious and im thankful for that. i hope we can talk more often, even if i’m your 1 in 30 children you have❣

@ongnable

jas! even if we haven’t talked often, i always see you on my dash and you’re just really adorable! constantly supporting me, im so thankful for you and i always melt when you talk to me. i hope you do well in college!

@pinksausageduo

dain! i remember reading all of your fics and lowkey fangirling when you followed me back aaaa thank you for creating everyong, and also making the effort to make everyone feel included! you always manage to get me out of my writers’ block, and i feel bad that i havent really helped you with your writers’ blocks:( thank you for also supporting me in everything, it means so much to me. i love you and stay healthy and happy!

@porkjeojang

sum! whenever i see you on my dash my day just lights up because your reblogs always cheers me up whenever. we havent been talking lately, i hope everything is going well! i hope you do well in college and everything you do<3

@aesjae

mia! i really look up to you being able to do well in everything you do, and also being able to put up with my childish jokes:”) please don’t ever doubt/underestimate yourself, you’re awesome honestly when will i ever be as good as you;-; your love for jae is just so pure i want to hug you, i love you and stay healthy and happy!

@7aiguanlin

xue! we barely even talk but i really love your works and its always something i read before falling asleep. i hope we can talk more and i hope you do well in everything you do!

@stormae

mae! i really adore you and cherish the times we actually talk, even if its short. your works never make me bored, and youre a really nice person to talk to! i hope we can talk more as well, please stay healthy and happy!

@day6euphoria

sarah, i can never ever leave you out for this. thank you for being there for me through everything, and my lowest during o’s when i started to freak out really badly. we have so many inside jokes, and i feel like a bitch whenever we roast people hahah. please dont ever doubt yourself, if you need someone to talk to im always here. thank you for your constant reassurance, and i hope you can do well💛

@taehobbie

isti! its really crazy how we really get along with each other uwu everytime i see you i want to burst into big fat ugly tears!!! even though we’re both busy i hope we can meet more often and eventually go for bangtan’s concert tgt yeet i love u sm nasti pls stay healthy and happy<33333

@chaeyolks

jupiter! im so glad we met uwu i really enjoy your company and i really cherish the times we spend together! thank you for being there for me when i needed you and no amount of words can express how grateful i am for you. i love you!!!

everyong:

@pinksausageduo @w1talks @daehwifi @jsioos @dong-hyucks@deepdickdaniel @woojiniee @longquos@fromwannaone @whatabrightplace @hwangminn@starrywinters @mongniel @ycungmin @ennergetics @wanna-17 @danieverie @xiupch @hwinkinghwi

i would like to thank each and everyone of you for constantly making my day with your conversations and being a big supportive family! i love you guys aaa

blogs in bold are blogs i really like, blogs in both bold and itallics are mutuals i hold dearly to!

@jihoonation @wannamoon @xiupch @callmeguks @emperorhwangs @sihyunarchive @jsmmn2002 @ongnable @caisxukun @livingthejeojanglife @cannedapricot @samoyeddaniel @day6euphoria @7aiguanlin @woojiniee @starrywinters @yooneroos @taehobbie @fatenumberfor @wannabl @fluffykth @donghyxns @whatabrightplace @baejinsgirl @mongniel @bbyhyucks @porkjeojang @jihoonslattee @hwinkinghwi @hwangminn @daehwifi @w1talks @dong-hyucks @deepdickdaniel @ennergetics @idaehwi @cheonjaem @wannawrite @bambyeol @wannatales @seung-mins @wannabeone @longquos @danieverie @alliwannado-w1 @pinksausageduo @chaeyolks @fromwannaone @honeytaeyong @aesjae @jjeehoon @thirsty-for-jae @neotechs @nimearv @andreawxng @winwiniswinning @imagineproduce101 @gugulin @seong-wu @wanna1-texts @thenctcults @hey-uta @textingnct @teeyongs @183cmjaemin @hunbomb @babyjungwoo @1aechan @jecngin @chipsandwaffles @koreankollection @sammymunchiecheerios @stormae @suhsexual @gwikimchi @choco-seventeen @squishteen @seventeen-scenarios-blog @warmau @puppetwritings @strayboys @jeongout-sk

if i left anyone out, im so sorry! just drop me a dm and i’ll add your name right away.

it has been a year with me as a writer on tumblr, i would also like to thank my lovely followers and anons! im happy that you guys would actually spend time to read my cringe fics;-; thank you guys so much.

#wow that took me hella long lmao #thank you guys for supporting my crapfictions #onlyjihoon's first follow forever #zechu rants

72 notes · View notes

commedias · 7 years ago

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hello friends !! i am v v tired and emotionally distraught over the fact i was wrongfully terminated today but in more exciting news, this blog has officially turned ONE month old and i hit 200 followers today :-) thus, this calls for my first follow forever. i’ll also be prefacing it with a super cheesy blurb abt how much i love this blog and all of y’all, so buckle your seatbelts and get ready to go !!

when i started this blog, i had no idea i would experience this much joy from writing and interacting with all of you !! i had rp'ed in the past in groups, indie, and 1x1, but this was my first time really entering the krpc, or for those of you don't know korean roleplaying community. i remember using kpop fcs in groups and often being ignored for not using a lot of the mainstream fcs in american pop culture. now that i have this blog, i feel so #blessed to be able to interact with others who use kpop fcs and have high-quality writing as well !! on a more personal note, this blog has really helped me keep in touch with my writing and overall self. writing has always been difficult for me bc i felt like it was so time-consuming (not like i have anything else to do) and obligatory especially within the tumblr community, but all of you have been so patient while i dealt with irl problems such as work and college !! as a result, it really encourages me to try my hardest and push myself as a writer to reply as efficiently as possible. occupying myself like this has kept my mind off of other things going in my life in a way that my own personal writing outside of tumblr couldn't do. it always took me back to the dark place where i was alerady at, a lot of relating to my own personal experiences. now i'm ngl, there's some self-insert here and there with my characters. wooyoung was created to help me sort out my alcoholc tendencies. but the stories themselves take on an entirely new light, your muses helping mine develop into BETTER characters and people overall. being able to create this growth not only encourages me as a writer, but as a person as well. i personally connect with my characters a lot even if they lead different lives than me and care for them as if they were real. even if i'm not always the strongest for myself, knowing that i have my muses, our threads, and a loving community keeps me grounded. i don't rly have many other ppl in my life, so to have the krpc supporting and interacting with me has given me the boost i need. thank you all so much for that. now onto the more fun stuff !!

@chimxrical: although i touched upon it briefly in my other positivity post, you've helped both me and hongbin grow so much. ours was the first thread to truly grab me and push me beyond the standard threads that die out or don't grow very much. you always replied so quickly and it rly made me excited to see how interested you were in our thread as well. i never expected hongbin to grow to as much as he has thus far, only the construct "sugar daddy politician" in my mind when i first conceived him. he had an icy air as part of his job that i myself even couldn't penetrate through at first without meifen warming up to him. his interactions with her really unveiled to me the more intimate layers of his character, that he had a lot of pain and tenderness going on beyond his work. that he didn't always have to be as tough as his work made him, that it was okay for him to dive into the softer dimensions of his personality. i didn't go into hongbin x meifen with all the details that we know about him know like his schizophrenic mother and his strong notions of justice and making the world a better place. but the more he interacted with meifen, the more insight i began to gain into who he was and how deeply his details connected with me. hongbin and meifen's (and don't forget kyungri's) headcanons have always brought joy to me and i love thinking of how far hongbin and meifen will get together the more that our thread develops. and for you as a mun, you've always been SO patient and supportive. whenever i have questions or just want to share something with you, you welcome me with open arms. you have such a kind heart and it shows through all of your characters. thank you for always being there and your wonderful replies to our threads <3

@cxrrvptvs: omg where do i begin ?? i love stanning exo with you and internally screaming over all of the angst between taeyong and jinwoo and all the fluff between sunghyun and dohyun. our muses just love each other very much and it's one of the best things that's happened like ?? your replies are always on point and i love all of your muses. you portray them so amazingly and i love it whenever you add a new one !! your threads with other ppl are so fun to read too tho i do kind of side eye like taeyong's jealous ass would but it's all good bc that's how multi-muse shipping works :-) hands down one of my favorite ppl to roleplay with and i can't wait to have a million more threads with you !!

@justlysts: ahhh what a beautiful child (even tho you're older than me) i know i'm trash at replying to im's and just distance myself from ppl in general, but don't ever think you can't come tell me about your life. i know today you were salty abt those ppl you had to talk to for the concert tickets, but in any other case when u wanna talk lmao !! i don't have a job now so i'll have plenty of time to listen :-) appreciate yourself more bc i love your aesthetic and ur cute hair and korean styles. you have such a cute personality and i love u sending me a million guys to rate. i can tell you're going to go far in life as cliche as that sounds and i'm down to support you in whatever you decide to do.

@sekairph: we've only known each other for a short time but we already fangirl over exo and wooyoung x kiara together and it's so wonderful. i love how much work you put into tumblr from your replies to your resources as a rph and your content is always on point !! i remember when u first messaged me and called me out for how much i reblog you like i honestly didn't even know i was reblogging all of it from you i'm just exo trash rip. your writing is so good and i love hearing insight on kiara with each reply, not strictly limiting into dialogue. our characters have sm natural chemistry and the plot we selected was so bomb like ?? you're so sweet and i wish you all the best and that you'll dream sweet dreams of sehun the next time you sleep. i can't wait to plot more in the future and see where kiara and wooyoung go !! his personality has really started to take more shape around her since i rly didn't know what i was doing with him at first lmao and it's helped me so much with his character so thank you for that :-)

@paidsoul: honestly the realest person out here in this blue hell. even tho tumblr is a sensitive place, i appreciate how honest and firm you are in your convictions and don't make up bs excuses to get out of uncomfortable situations. idk i'm not articulating this the best, but i like how upfront you are rather than following the typical tumblr etiquette of "oh sorry love ahaha :-)!" and shit like that, ya feel ?? your muses' backstories always run me over with a bulldozer but like they're so good and well-thought out ?? like your angst has reasoning behind it rather than the tortured artist with no parents who gets drunk and paints a tree and thinks he's a fuckin rembrandt smh... ANYWAYS thank you for all the inspiration (sounds cliche, i guess life advice) you've given me and i'll take it to heart since someone needs to get thru to my problematic ass. i can't wait to get know you more as a person and also interact thru our threads and have lots of angst together !! also thanks for getting me into the supernatural vibe like fuck i love yanny so much already and deadass i'll probably add more spn muses in the future like a mermaid lmao or MAYBE a demon so i can have heart-wrenching backstories like you (tho i mean my human muses have some angst too like sunghyun and his dead mother) and make myself and partners in threads emotionally distraught.

@sxvrn: okay side note i could have SWORE in our messages u told me your new url was supposed to be like based off 'salvation' but that the original url u thought of started a v or something and looked nothing like salvation lmao bc that's how i feel rn abt your url like i had to copy and paste it but i'm just HAPPY i found your new blog bc i never wanna lose our threads </3 continuing on that tho, i don't see it in my messages now tho and i checked both on mobile and the computer and all it says that you were worried abt changing it bc ppl might not find you but nothing's showing up about the salvation thing so i'm like mandela effect ?? ANYWAYS i'm happy i found your new blog so i could tag you in this (not so) little thing. i live for youngjae's problematic ass messing with sweet lil minsoo, as i've said at least a billion times before. a lot of this would probably be rehashing what i said in my last positivity post about you but idk you're just great ?? like bless you for not sleeping on kim minseok and keeping kuhn as a muse you are a good human being. whenever you post a starter in the tags, i'm always lurking on it like even before we starting talking ooc i kept reading them and thinking who is this amazingly creative person ?? i can't wait to see how your new blog and muses unfolds and i hope that you got over your case of writer's block !!

@grcviity: i used to think snap threads were boring and then you happened and i'm obsessed now *exo voice* someone call the doctor. thank you for your quality snaps and using kihyun monsta x is gonna rise one of these days i tell you. i'm curious to see how our characters interact outside of snap lmao, but i'm sure it will be just as good, if not better. your muses are so god damn cute and so are you <3

@stcrgirls: ayyy your personality is just so fun and so is yeuna tbh !! your replies are always a joy to read and kihyun and yeuna hit home with those feels omg. thanks for letting me tell u abt my college orientation and the lyft driver who i got into ko ko bop !! keep reppin' us pinays, girl, and btw that reminds me you're so pretty like who are you omg ?? your munday selfies were on point i was like damn girl you're mestizo. both pretty inside and out, i wish you all the best and can't wait to see how our threads grow together !!

ok so we're not here all night, here's some other lil cuties i wanted to give a shout-out to: @quietuptownx, @powerpuffs, @licnhrts, @mujehan, @ofwildblossoms, @dearcherryblossoms, @liquoidtears, @pxlimpsest, @rosevined, @niqhtowls, @slideivy, @realizcation, @bcrmuda, @likewinter, @honeyedsins, @shrinemade, @findmexsaveme, @flxrvl, @lawsqwad, @landrogynous, @blazedfires, @pvxilatc, @cacotheisms, @pinkbvbblegvm, @simpaticos, @tearedrops, @undersunrise, @lustrcvs, @fckxillusion, @fckfanxychild,

thank you once again to EVERYONE who made this possible, who continually supported me and waited for my turtle speed replies. thank you to mutuals who i don't talk to yet, but would love to. and even if i haven't followed you back, thank you a million times over. seeing my blog grow has gotten me so excited and given me some of my kick back in life (lmao i'm sixteen for god's sake not like my life's ending already) both as a writer as a person. honestly you all are the best for putting up with all of my exo spam and mun rants. thank you for all of the ask memes and love y'all send me regularly it means the world to me. i can't wait to see where this blog goes and meet even more friends :-)

#but rly thank y'all again <3 #listen i actually tried on this applaud my lazy ass #* ∘ ∙ —— jongdae's 19+ thoughts ; mun musings.

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allthislove · 8 years ago

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Dis Kpop rant bout to be real unappealing to most of my followers lol

But bear with me, y’all. If I go long, I’ll make a jump.

Y’all, I’m old. Okay? Like, let me tell you how old. I’ve been a K-pop stan for 10 years, no exaggeration. Literally, my first introduction to K-pop was one of my friends when I was a teenager sending me a BoA song because he thought I’d like her. This was literally 2007 (or maybe even 2006??? IDK) I have my biases from over the years, but also, I know pretty much who were the hottest groups/solo artists at the time. Like, when time passes and you get a little more removed from your biases, you can report honestly (I also just so happened to stan a couple of the hottest, but that’s par for the course. They’re the hottest for reasons.)

So, literally, when I see newer K-pop fans say artists like BIGBANG, EXO, Super Junior, and SHINee were irrelevant, or are currently, I get a little dumbfounded. Literally at some point, or even now, these were the hottest boybands in Korea. Many of them, in much of Asia.

Wait, let me clear one thing up. I’m K-pop Rip Van Winkle. That’s a story about a man who falls asleep for a very long time, and wakes up to a very different world. So, my long sleep was college. For a while, while I was in college, I stanned K-pop hard, still. I even went to concerts when I had time off from classes, traded photocards with friends, downloaded songs on iTunes... Then, school got more serious when I started in my major. I had almost no free time outside of it (theatre major = death lol), and so I stanned online very little. I still sometimes watched YouTube videos or downloaded songs I liked, but my fandom became very casual. And y’all, this is a big deal for me. I mean, I was THAT fangirl. I had all the merch, spammed all the comments sections, wrote all the fanfiction, saved money so I could fly across the country to go to concerts, ran stan twitters and tumblrs, like, I was an all-in fan. By somewhere around 2014/15, I had no choice but to chill on that. It was either that, or, like, not have perfect grades, and perfect grades were my LIFE. No joke.

So, in December of 2016, I graduated from college (university, for non-Americans), and I was ECSTATIC, and I’ve been doing well, having been accepted to grad school and done all this fun shit. So, of course, I went back to stanning. But, yenno, I just went back to stanning Marvel hard online, at first. (Did I mention Marvel? Yeah, I was a k-pop and Marvel fangirl, lol. Real man-catching shit. It’s why they’re always in my DMs, amirite?) Occasionally, I’d check back in with K-pop when something cool happened with a group I loved. Or something fuckING SAD AS FUCK, like 2NE1 FUCKING DISBANDING WTF YG???

But I noticed something. This newer group that I sorta liked when I checked out of K-pop standom had blown up. But, with their newfound fame and success came a new, horrible group of stans. Y’all might get mad, I remember Kpop savagery... but that group is BTS.

Don’t get me wrong. K-pop been like this. Fanwars are like... ubiquitous with K-pop. It’s really funny, when you’ve been far removed from K-pop for a prolonged period of time. Like, the rose-colored glasses come off and you see the shit for what it is, and it’s just dumb as fuck. Like, everyone who isn’t a k-pop stan thinks k-pop is dumb as fuck, or either irrelevant, and everyone who is a k-pop stan thinks all other k-pop is dumb as fuck or irrelevant other than who they stan. It’s counter-productive, crab-in-a-barrel shit.

And like, I’ve been heavy in black tumblr/twitter during my K-hiatus, too, and like, I’m so used to the positivity shit, like supporting other black women/woc and supporting black-owned business and also feminist twitter/tumblr, like sisterhood and supporting and uplifting each other. So, seeing people essentially on the same team literally tearing each other down and saying how lame/ugly/untalented/irrelevant/whatever the fuck the other thing is, it’s like jarring AF now.

(Also, K-pop... itself, and often the fandom, it’s just toxic in many ways. Racially... like, the weird racial shit still happens in 2017, and many kpop fans write that shit off. Also, with queer shit, like... the weird, fetishy way people act about queerness vs the straight up homophobic way people react to the idea of legitimate queerness in kpop, and like... lot’s of shit, but that’s a topic for another rant.)

But anyway, BTS stans. Listen, I liked BTS back in like 2014 or whatever, right before I checked out, for school. At the time, they were relatively new (rookies, even), and they had a growing fandom, but yenno, that’s normal for pretty much every newer idol group. My point is: I thought BTS were cool. That “American Hustle Life” or whatever it was was fun to watch, if mildly problematic, but eh, everything hip-hop in Korea is mildly problematic.

So, when I came back and saw them thriving, I was kinda happy. I knew they had increasing fans (many of my classmates who liked K-pop liked BTS, among other groups... often including the earlier ones I mentioned, and then shit like Monsta X and Ikon.), but I had no idea they were like... competitive with EXO until I really had this free time to stan again.

Going long, so it’s under a cut, if you GAF. I write a lot (I’m literally a writer, and writing a lot is beautiful, ask Alexander Hamilton, ask Leo Tolstoy, ask ya mama).

But then the Armys. Mostly on twitter, like, I don’t really see y’all on tumblr. I don’t follow a ton of K-pop twitters, on this blog. (I have an old stan tumblr that I sorta forgot the password to, so IDK.)

IDK, like I said, I’m old. So maybe this is a teenager thing? But there’s this obsession with calling everyone, literally every idol group outside of BTS, irrelevant.

Also, there’s this obsession with believing BTS is the only idol group to make it alone (going platinum with no features!) or, basically, without a Big 3 label to back them. OR, that none of the other idol groups struggled to gain their positions.

Both things are silly, and to me, say you’re not a k-pop fan. Which is fine. I “wasn’t a k-pop fan” for probably the last two years. I was pretty much just watching for 2NE1 updates, or BIGBANG news via alerts on my phone, and whatnot.

But, if you are a K-pop fan, and you consider yourself a K-pop fan (like I was, pre-2015), you ought to really know better. I consider myself a bit of a k-pop historian. No, seriously, my concentration in college was pretty much performance studies/dramaturgy; which if you know what that means, it means I’m the nerd that wants to know how performers in Renaissance Italy got costumes, and what connection the play Hamlet has to Shakespeare’s relationship with his own son, Hamnet. So, when I obsessed over K-pop, I literally STUDIED it. Like, I read actual books and journal articles about hallyu, that’s the kind of nerd I am. So, here it what I know that I know about K-pop.

You do have idol groups who benefited from the level of fame their Big 3 label gave them, and especially the big idol groups that label had before them (that’s kinda... Ikon, Winner, EXO... not that they didn’t have their own journeys, but the BIGBANG, Suju/SHINee bump really benefited those groups.)

But then you have BIGBANG, and Block B. BIGBANG is a group that literally started out flopping. They began in a time when YG was a hip-hop label, and the idea of them putting out an idol group was laughable. The most similar thing YG had at the time was 1Tym, and that wasn’t an idol group, but a hip-hop group. BIGBANG was an experiment, for Yang Hyun Suk. He wanted to bring a different flavor to idol groups, who at the time, were essentially Korean versions of the Backstreet Boys. Mind you, this was around 2005, when the decision was made. So, he took his kid rappers G-Dragon and Taeyang, and his kid singer Daesung, and he brought in underground rapper T.O.P, former SM trainee/reality TV contestant Seungri, and another kid he had as a trainee, Hyunseung. Some of them were not happy that they were going to be in an idol group, as they had joined YG because it was a hip-hop label and they wanted to be rappers. (Yes, Taeyang was a rapper. He became the main singer of the group because Teddy and them thought he had a nice singing voice. Mind you, they were still very young, at this time.) Hyunseung actually got cut, and eventually went on to be a Troublemaker (lol).

BIGBANG debuted to mix reviews. They were weird, ugly (compared to other idols), and people didn’t really get them. They had some fans, but again, that’s not what idol groups were. Idol groups were, well, TVXQ.

Then, G-Dragon happened. YG let GD play around with music a lot, and he wrote these two songs. YG liked them, so he told GD that BIGBANG would record them. GD wasn’t happy about that, either. He thought they’d be his solos. But, it was still a big opportunity for a kid his age to get their songs produced (again, at THIS time, idols did not write their own songs. Idols barely had autonomy at all, back then. These days, a lot of idols write songs.)

Those songs were “Lies” and “Haru Haru”. Both were smash hits. I’m talking, burn up the charts, blow up, K-pop-will-never-be-the-same hits.

Let me remind you, I was actually a k-pop fan, by then. I literally remember the shift. I was stanning Rain, at the time, because he was different than all the other idols.... who were still mostly doing cutesy shit, and a lot of ballad.

When BIGBANG blew up (I wasn’t their fan, yet), other companies followed suit, and started changing up their boyband format. The first was probably 2PM (I DID stan them... because, yenno, Rain was JYP, and so were 2PM.). That sorta hip-hop slant to k-pop groups, it was added largely because BIGBANG changed the game. Don’t get me wrong, those guys were already JYP trainees, for the most part (Jay Park was actually a JYP trainee at the same time that GD and Taeyang were YG trainees; y’all probably know the story about YG and JYP planning to make them a trio.) But, I still say most of the hip-hop style in k-pop, specifically, came from BIGBANG. Obviously, there were already hip-hop groups, but they were hip-hop, and the genre wasn’t really crossing with K-pop in a significant way.

Yadda yadda, Heartbreaker, Alive, GD&TOP, the rest is history, IDK.

Now, Block B. My in-depth knowledge of them isn’t as great, but I know their story.

Block B was another project-group. Cho PD, also, wanted to make a hip-hop idol group. But his idea, I guess, was to go more of a pure hip-hop direction than BIGBANG. (As you probably know, BIGBANG are genre chameleons, while Block B lean much more heavily hip-hop than BIGBANG. This isn’t commenting on anyone’s ability. Block B can cross genres well, and the hip-hop members of BIGBANG do it well, too.)

So, Block B comes out, and you know, they have kind of a smash debut (not on like a MONSTER ROOKIES level, but they did damn good.) But also, immediately, they have controversy... mostly over dumb shit like “you copied BIGBANG!” (Which is also really funny, because Cho PD and Yang Goon actually had beef of some sort. Which also made it awkward, because Block B members actively tried not to mention BIGBANG, even though several of them like BIGBANG. And I think vice versa.)

But, Block B can’t be held down. Like, no. Seriously. So, the thrived, until the fire nation attacked. There was controversy over statements made, over their song contents, all this shit. It seemed like Block B was going to end before they started, which was tragic because there’s a lot of talent there, and nobody wanted to lose them.

Then, just as things started to look up, again, Block B had had enough with their label, Brand New Stardom (or just Stardom). They straight up weren’t getting paid. They were literally hungry, having to scrounge or ask their parents for food, transportation, etc. It was a mess. So, eventually, they left Stardom, and the CEO committed suicide. It got really ugly.

It really, again, seemed like Block B might be over before they even started. Which was a shame, because honestly Zico. Zico was a talent that didn’t need to be wasted (this is not shade to the other members, but seriously. Zico was their GD, he’s the Zion.T, he’s the Tablo, and if you’re a kpop fan, you SHOULD know what that means, and what kind of musician he is.)

But again. Block B can’t be held down. They rose, once again. Triumphantly. They came out with “Very Good”, which, like, GOT THEM ON BILLBOARD, and one them their first music show award, and like, blew them up.

And I don’t think you guys understand how much we all cried when “Be The Light” came out.

And, yenno, lot’s of good things, the rest is history, yadda yadda.

These are just two stories, but yea, no, BTS isn’t the first, or last, to claw their way up from nothing, from obscurity, from relative doom. (I didn’t even talk about all the career-ending scandals that both of these groups had, that they survived and overcame. Seriously, BIGBANG almost legitimately ended in 2011. Why do you think they came out with ALIVE in 2012?)

“But, random old-head kpop fan,” you might be thinking, “nobody did for hallyu what MY BIAS-”

but let me stop you right there, see, because that’s cRAZY, to me. Hallyu been poppin since, like, IDK 2002 or 2003.

Like, who are the Hallyu Kings? DBSK/TVXQ. That’s just Kpop 101. They are practically the reason for Hallyu.

Let me give you some major Hallyu players from the past, eh, 15 or so years. DBSK, HOT, Rain, Se7en, BoA, Super Junior, SNSD/Girl’s Generation, Wonder Girls, BIGBANG, 2NE1, SHINee, EXO. Are there other realllly popular idol groups? Sure. Infinite, VIXX, BAP, f(x), just to name a few. But if you really get down to it, who was leading Hallyu all those years? These are the major players. These are the people whose music, style, popularity, made the world look at K-pop. I PROMISE you. I mean, look up Stephen Colbert’s rivalry with Rain. Look up Cassies record in Guinness for largest fan club in the world. Look up BoA’s dance chart topping US debut. Look up these people’s fame in Japan. In China. In South America. These names WERE k-pop, some still are. (Big daddy Rain/Bi has Hollywood movies, for fucks sake. Don’t you talk to me about Hallyu!)

“But, old lady,” you say to me, “I never heard of them, then!”

I know. And plenty of people, today, haven’t heard of K-pop, outside of Korea and regions where the idols are mainstream. But, yeah, the fact that a lil black girl in North Carolina in 2007 could be listening to BoA, before we had stan twitter and tumblr and YouTube was a baby that only had random uploads and when all my k-pop updates had to come from forums.... that just further proves that hallyu was already a thing. Also, my dear, I bet you’re a LOT younger than me. You could’ve been, like, 5, in 2007. I was in high school. I’m in my mid-20s, many of you are teenagers. That’s also really lovely. I love that K-pop is continuing through the generations, and didn’t burn out as a fad (which is what people have been saying ever since I bought my first Rain album.)

So, what I’m saying is... even if it’s uncomfortable for you to admit... your faves, whether that’s BTS, or Monsta X, or Ikon, or Black Pink, or whatever, ABSOLUTELY owe their success to the HUGE Hallyu strides made by: DBSK, HOT, Rain, Se7en, BoA, Super Junior, SNSD, Wonder Girls, BIGBANG, 2NE1, SHINee, and EXO. THERE WOULD NOT BE ACCESS TO KPOP OUTSIDE OF KOREA if it wasn’t for OUR presence back then. Us, in the US and Canada, and Europe, and South America, who struggled in forums just to get morsels of BoA or Rain music, who tediously translated variety shows featuring BIGBANG and Suju before there were official uploads, who made our faves SO POPULAR that shit like KCON, allkpop, and soompi were created to give us better access to them, who made such a loud impact that companies started making official twitters and YouTube channels for their idols.

I literally watched ALL OF THAT unfold. It all unfolded before my eyes in the last 10 years. It’s INCREDIBLY RIDICULOUS to suggest that shit didn’t emerge because of hallyu; because hallyu was emerging. That’s why you were even able to FIND small idol groups that didn’t come from big companies. In 2007, if you were an idol group from a small company, you’d better pray you got good variety slots to garner interest. Now, it’s par for the course for them to easily connect with fans through shit like YouTube, Twitter, and Instagram (even shit like weibo, which isn’t Korean, but to reach other Asian fans.)

I’m not even going to get into skill, talent, and respect for position because of these things (because that’s a deeper convo, and look where we are already, son and daughter!)

Just... even if you never want to pick up a SHINee album, or watch a BIGBANG MV, let’s not resign ourselves to some foolish notion that every newer idol group owes not their very existence to these cats. This is not a commentary on talent, effort, or anything else. But realistically, you likely wouldn’t have even found them. They also may have never been formed (the influx of foreign fans also brought on an influx of new idol groups. That’s why there are literally hundreds of idol groups, now, versus when, say BIGBANG debuted. There’s so much pie, that everyone is jumping at the chance to get a slice. If there were only fans in Korea, new bands would still emerge, but way fewer, and less frequently.)

Also: it is entirely possible to stan your bias group AND acknowledge the impact that seniors had on them. Wanna see me do it? BIGBANG is my bias group, but they would NOT exist without 1Tym, or DBSK. DBSK is THE boy band model. Yes, there are earlier idol groups, and ones just as big (OMG I LEFT OUT SHINHWA, WHICH IS BLASPHEMY), but DBSK CHANGED the fucking GAME, for K-pop idol bands. They’re the blueprint. 1Tym is literally the styling for every hip-hop influence group in Korea (them and Epik High, but BIGBANG is more directly styled after 1Tym). Besides that, 1Tym is the band that bore Teddy Park, who gave BIGBANG much of their early sound, and to this day helps write many YG artists’ music. If 1TYM or DBSK had never existed, there’s a large chance BIGBANG never would’ve existed.

And, if DBSK didn’t blow up so hard, there’s a large chance BIGBANG would’ve never gotten as much international interest, especially in the early days. (The same could be said for their connection to 1Tym, who actually introduced them in the States at an early YG Concert.)

**small amendment: BIGBANG also owe a lot to Se7en, who was their big bro when they needed it most, and also fixed their names right on up. (I believe he named several members, and saved them from Yang Goon’s terrible naming. Seriously, TOP was gonna be Mark. Which is fine, if your name is Mark, but his name is Seunghyun, and YG just liked the name Mark for some reason. Se7en saved TOP’s life.)

So, can y’all soothe my old ass heart and at least pretend to understand the history of the genre you claim to love? Is that alright? Can that be a thing?

No? Y’all hate me, now? Okay...

Till next time, K-poppers!

#aka the history of korean entertainment as told by raven #bigbang #bts #exo #shinee #super junior #monsta x #black pink #2ne1 #dbsk #idk i mentioned a lot of y'all faves #is this a can of worms?#or did i just save kpop?#just call me raesus #alright read this long ass shit or move on #one rule #DO NOT REPLY IF YOU DID NOT READ TO COMPLETION #mostly because i hate repeating myself

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jiora · 8 years ago

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Top 10 Best KPop Songs of 2016

30. Still Alive by J.Y. Park

This song is about an aging pop star still trying to be cool and popular with young people. It earned extra points with me because I am a little older than the median KPOP fan. The first listen is a little awkward but that seems to add to the concept. He's not supposed to be totally smooth.

29. I Just Wanna Dance by Tiffany

This was the song that had my favourite choreography this year. The title was very apt. The only problem is that she sings "I just wanna dance the night away" and yet the music video shows them dancing in the middle of the day. Regardless, this KPOP song has a genuine retro feeling and makes me want to sing even more so than dance.

28. Whatta Man by I.O.I

Any fan who was familiar with the Salt N' Pepa version of this song would have been anticipating great things and great things is what they got, indeed. The I.O.I version of "Whatta Man" had everything the old school one did in terms of catchiness. I originally had it ranked much higher but after a few listens I began to notice little parts in the vocals that were just a little off. That detracted a bit from my ability to appreciate it as deeply as I would have wanted to.

27. Me Like Yuh by Jay Park X Prepix X Purplow (feat. Hoody)

"I'd even dye my hair blonde for ya, I can be your Justin Beiber" Jay totally ruined the English version of this song with that line and it took me a while before I was able to see the beauty of the Korean version. Jay isn't into subtlty when it comes to lyric writing so Korean lyrics usually a safer bet with Jay Park songs for those who don't understand Korean. This song is consistant with what Jay Park usually delivers. Great dancing and the "cha cha beat".

26. Fire by BTS

"Fire" was supposed to be the big follow up to "Dope", the high energy song that got everyone to take note of BTS last year. The music video even begins with a sample of "Dope". In my opinion this was a mistake. "Fire" is not on the same level as "Dope", so being reminded of how good "Dope" was lead to a bit of a let down when "Fire" started. However, this song started a bit of a trend in KPOP. It uses loud, industrial sounds which I believe influenced other KPOP songs like "Hard Carry" by GOT7, and "Fire Truck" by NCT 127. This song is no "Dope", but it does grow on you and can really get you pumped up!

25. I Just Wanna Sing by Esbee

This is a debut and not many people noticed it. Perhaps it just hit me at the right time but it really struck me as beautiful. From the R&B melody to the harmonies he infuses into it this song is fluid and sentimental.

24. Deepened by Brave Girls

Keeping with the subject of sentimental and fluid songs. The Brave Girls (now with new members) had a stunning comeback with "Deepened". Brilliantly composed, this song sets a chill yet sultry mood. The rap break is one of its strongest points. Often a rap break is put into a KPOP song despite not adding anything to it but this was so necessary and brought the song to a new level.

23. Fire by J.Y. Park (feat. Conan O'Brien & Steven Yeun & Jimin Park)

When KPOP makes its way into the American mainstream some people reject it. But this song is so much fun. Don't deny yourselves pleasure just to seem cool, you guys! I like that J.Y. Park has a throne. I like that Conan has a face full of makeup. I like that they incorporated Conan's string dance into the plot of the video. I like Steven Yeun just for being Steven Yeun. Also, I recognized the costume TWICE wore as being very similar to what Ariana Grande wore at the 2014 Victoria Secret fashion show. Anyone else notice that?

22. Mistake by Drug Restaurant

I am not big into rock music of any nationality. I was surprised that I liked this song as much as I did. The composer has so much talent. The guitar kept me engaged the whole time and then the guitar solo in the middle of it really did me in.

21. Mama Don't Worry by Sam Kim

This is a song written by an 18 year old boy about what it is like to be away from your parents for the first time. It has something that is rare in KPOP and that is authenticity. Most songs are not written by the singers themselves. Often the songs are written about something that even the song writer him/herself has not experienced. But this song was written in real time, as the Sam Kim himself was experiencing it. The song takes the form of a letter written by the mother to her son, then the final verse is a the reply letter from the son to the mother. With the refrain "Mama don't worry" in between. I'm not exaggerating when I tell you I can't listen to it while reading the lyrics without tears building up in my eyes.

20. Love Me the Same by Jessica

Of all the Girls' Generation solos and subgroups this year Jessica's was the one that did the most for me. It is a slow song which are often challenging to make appealing but this song has emotion in the composition. The story in the music video is a cute and totally endearing metaphor.

19. High Heels by Brave Girls

This song is so brainless, but I can't help loving it. The more I listen to it, the more I can't live without it. This is the Brave Girls second entry on this years chart. I don't want to jinx anything, but I think the Brave Girls are becoming my new Girls' Generation. Emphasis on my. They do not have enough cache to be a true replacement for Girls' Generation who seem to be turning a corner in their careers.

18. Lucky One by EXO

You can always expect a high level of production from EXO songs. The song is so layered and intricate and you have to appreciate that. One beef I have is that "lover" does not rhyme with "clover". Take that line out!

17. What Is Love by Yu Yeong Jin X D.O.

This song is sung with so much passion. If you did not know who Yu Yeong Jin is then I recommend that you look him up. He is a song writer, and his writing credits are so vast you are likely to find that he wrote many of your all-time favourite songs. From the sounds of things he is quite the vocalist as well. This song was released on SM Station and, although I did not include many of those songs on my list, they really did show us a lot of interesting collaborations and solos that really enriched the KPOP world this year.

16. Ah-Ha by SS301

This song was released in the summer at the same time as many big name comebacks so it was kind of buried. But it still stood out for me. In my opinion it really is more about the music than the group. This song was really engaging, and more fun to listen to, and more dynamic than a lot of the other songs of that time of year.

15. Crush by I.O.I

This was the first song released by I.O.I and, as someone who had not been interested in the competition show Produce 101, it took a while before I really took note of it. But "Crush" shows off some really strong vocal skills and it is a concept I think we need more of: the teenager concept. I hope it s obvious what I mean by teenager concept. I'm talking about songs about things relevent to teenage life like having a crush on a boy. It makes some people uncomfortable to see young women acting too sexy and it makes some people uncomfortable to see young women acting like small children, so the teenager concept is a fair comprimise, it would seem.

14. Feel So Good by B.A.P.

The first song I've really, really liked from BAP. BAP has used a variety of concepts this song is very happy, fun, and boy-next-door. The music video uses the brightly coloured sets and wardrobe that one would hope for from a KPOP video. The chorus is uplifting. The rap breaks did not add anything but hey, you gotta have a rap break! (that was not sarcasm)

13. Boombayah by BLACKPINK

I had two immediate reactions after hearing this song:

1. I love Lisa! Lisa opens the song with an English rap and exudes attitude all over the video. She also has the number 1 best line in KPOP this year "BRRR Rambo!"and 2. This sounds a lot like "Fire" by 2NE1 just not quite as good. It does have the same song writer as many 2NE1 songs, including "Fire". It might be unfair to compare a new song to one of my all time favourites but when the sound is so similar it is hard not to. If I can block out the memory of "Fire" by 2NE1 I do appreciate "Boombayah" a lot more. "Boombayah" is like a thrilling amusement park ride.

12. Very Nice by Seventeen

Is it cheating to have so many members? It makes the choreography look so good, makes the sound so much more energetic and dynamic because there are so many different voice types. They definately used their numbers as an advantage in this song. I love the break down near the end. This song deserves all the love it gets.

11. Dancing King by EXO

Most would not rate this song so high relative to their other comeback "Lucky One". We've all heard songs like this before. It is a very common Latin beat. This is nothing ground breakingly innovative. But, I have a tendency to rate songs higher depending on how much they make me wanna dance and I could dance the this song all night. I was confused into thinking I didn't like this song at first because the music video had some pretty trippy editting. It's hard to make cute pink puppets and EXO boys dancing look bad and yet somehow they managed to edit it in a way that did exactly that. Only later when listening to the song without watching the video did I realize how happy it made me.

WATCH THE TOP 10 HERE:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WHiUfH0z--g&feature=youtu.be

10. Excalibur by N-Sonic

The first song I've ever heard from N-Sonic and, apparently, their last song together before military conscription. What timing. The choreography fits the song and looks like something that might have come from my own imagination. I like that there is enough freedom in the choreography to see their personalities. Also, one of my least favourite things about KPOP dance is that the person who is singing breaks out of formation and steps forward. This dance, very cleverly, avoids that by creating formations that are centered around the member who is singing so that is doesn't ruin the symmetry.

9. I'm Fine by Grace

This is the debut song from Grace. Even though this video did not have a huge budget they still went all out. In fact, they went ALL out and then kept on going. Just like what you'd want from KPOP. It has the loud wardrobe and so much random. Ultimately, it is Grace and her attitude that sell it so well. She has that je ne sais quoi! You'd never suspect this was her debut. I originally thought the English part of the lyrics were the result of someone who had completed only one English lesson. Like the writer was all "Hey we need to put some English words in this song, but I don't know any." Then he took one English lesson and put the phrase he learned in the song. But, that is clearly not the case because Grace speaks fluent English and is American.

8. Save Me, BTS

This song is just ultra beautiful. I was contemplating putting it in the number one spot, but I didn't. Why not? It was just too beautiful, too easy to love. The instrumental is so moving, the dance is so emotional, the lyrics are so meaningful. Where is the part that challenges me? Where is that weird bit that I don't like at first and then grow to love. Perfection isn't always a good thing. and I do not write this tongue-in-cheek I mean it sincerely. A song that is so perfect doesn't seem human and that makes it dull. But hey! It is at the number 8 spot, so perfection will get you pretty far!

7. HookGa, HIGH4 20 (feat. Hwasa of MAMAMOO)

This is my first encounter with the group HIGH4. I could listen to this beat everyday for the rest of my life and the dance fits it so perfectly. The choreographer is Canadian! Rep-re-sent! Hwasa speaks French in her feature I heard "Maxi beaucoup" rather than "Merci beaucoup" but good effort yeodongsaeng. I have to say I do not appreciate the play on words for this sub-group or the song. I find drugs to be such a turn-off. I suppose that makes me not cool and I don't care. But the name does not take away from how much I dig this song.

6. Still 24K, 24K

The instant I played this song for the first time I knew it was great. It takes me back a few years to when Super Junior was making the best songs I'd ever heard in my life. Those were the type of songs that made me fall in love with KPOP. Still 24K has a great balance between melodic and hip hop. I found the plot of the music video really compelling and it was cool that it left on a cliff-hanger. Visually, this video did not use colours but used only black, white, grey and metallic which was so effective. The fashion in the dance scenes was uniform and monochromatic (either all black or all white) and so intricately accerssorized. I especially appreciated the rings they wore on the upper part of every finger. That is something I had never seen before.

5. Press Your Number, Taemin

This song changes and flows so well. I usually appreciate repetitiveness in my music, but this one evolves so organically that I can't even tell that it is changing. Each verse sounds different and blends into the song seamlessly. This isn't one of those "Franken-songs". And the plot of the music video is challenging and full of symbolism. What does it really mean? Are we even supposed to know?

4. Shut Up & Groove, Heize (feat. DEAN)

Words fail me here. I think I should just do as the song says and shut up and groove. and enjoy looking at DEAN's flawless face.

3. Whistle, BLACKPINK

This song had me in its clutches even before I listened to it. BLACKPINK was so highly anticipated and I was sure it was going to be phenominal. It was epic. I hate admitting to biases, but I don't actually believe that my anticipation coloured my judgement in any way. Of the four BLACKPINK songs this year this is the only one that truely blew me away. These girls' voices were so on point with one small exception: Jennie's verse in the middle of the song (1:54) "just whistle to my heart". Jennie is a rapper so her singing voice was not likely not a priority in her training. But it did pull me out of my state of bliss for a moment when I was having that transcendant first listen and that is how I can say with confidence that the high rating of this song was NOT a result of a bias! LOL.

2. Love You More, Kim Jae Joong

I like TVXQ a lot but I have a terrible memory for Korean names. I didn't know Kim Jae Joong was from that group when I heard this song. It caught me off guard and made me want to run, turn, leap and fly. Apparently, this song was released while Jae Joong was still in military service. Amazing that he managed that. Even more amazing that it was part of a full album. Every song on that album is worthwhile, by the way. No bad songs on that album, not even one.

1. Blood Sweat & Tears, BTS

I was nervous that there wasn't going to be a huge boy group smash this year. But BTS did it! You can always tell when you've heard a good song because when it's over you feel like you've just been smacked across the face. This is one of those songs. The instrumental makes me think of India or the middle east. I wouldn't anticipate this kind of sound from KPOP. It's the thing that was missing from "Save Me" something to confuse me at first and then learn to love. In the vocals I especially liked the breathy, descending "ga~" and how it mimicked the wail of someone on verge of emotional and physical exhaustion. In the video . . . well wow. Every second is saturated with metaphor, symbolism and references to art, literature and philosophy. It's even got me reading the book that was quoted in the spoken part in the break of the song just so I can understand and appreciate the music video better (Demian by Hermann Hesse is the book if you were wondering). So much brain and heart was put into the comeback. KPOP SONG OF THE YEAR!

Watch the list here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WHiUfH0z--g&feature=youtu.be

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