#i had planned on just making it a tumblr post but umm idk how long it's going to be but it probably won't be fun to read on here Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[little-eye-guy]

1700 words n_n

[landovilla]

read your mind.

༉‧₊˚ reader gets a certain reply to her story.

pairing: charles leclerc x poc!reader

fc: aeri from aespa!!

trope:situation opps!

warnings: suggested smut but no smut happens. semi-love bombing?? toxic umm.. time skips a lot.

content: reader kind of falls too fast. charles being a dickhead idk. lando 😂😂 shh.. texts & insta post (just once). maybe bad gammer sorryyy. low caps !!!!!!

words: 1.3k ??

🎐 speaking!: hi this is my first post im kind of nervous... mo encourage me to start posting on tumblr!! also might make a part two if it gets attention 🤗 hope you enjoy!!

she wasn't a fan of him, she never was at first. It was just an accident that he followed her nothing else. But it wasn't accident that he replied to her story right?

charles_leclerc replied to your story!

ynusername's story

charles_leclerc

😍😍

ynusername

erm.. I think you replied on accident!

charles_leclerc

that was no accident sweetheart

ynusername

oh

charles_leclerc

you're very pretty

ynusername

tell me something I don't hear🤣 be original racer boy

charles_leclerc

haha racer boy?

ynusername

isn't that what you are lolol

charles_leclerc

I mean yeah?

ynusername

ok 👍

she didn't reply after that. she didn't felt the need to. yes, a famous man that hundreds of girls drooled over would kill to be in her position! but yn had heard questionable actions the man had gotten into. she thought he would get the damn hint by now but he didn't.

charles_leclerc

ouch delivered for 1 week :(?

ynusername

I'm a busy girl..

charles_leclerc

not even time for me?

ynusername

no who are you?

are you mark lee didn't think so

charles_leclerc

just wanna know the pretty girl

ynusername

you literally don't even know who I am

NO. How did you find my instagram?

charles_leclerc

lily follows u

ynusername

um ok but ??

charles_leclerc

she posted ur post once on her story and i just had to take my shot

ynusername

erm congrats! 🎊🍾

charles_leclerc

are you always a cold bitch

ynusername

and do u think every girl can just fall for you!! oh I'm so sorry !

charles_leclerc

I must admit ur funny

ynusername

I know I am☺️

yn wasn't going to keep texting him that's what she said. she was wrong, she found herself clicking the Instagram app opening his messages. she found herself texting him everyday, as the time passed soon or later they exchanged numbers. the more they talked, the more she found out about him.

she knew he was three years older but it was fine! he didn't seem to have bad intentions. she loved the way he would give her pet names or responding quickly. yn just felt like she could fall in love again after her ex situation.

the two soon or later began calling after two months of charles begging, she finally gave in. "so.. are you gonna say something or just be staring at the screen?" yn spoke softly looking into her camera. his grin widened, "you have a hot voice too-" she stared at her screen for awhile before replying, "ok I'm hanging up now-"

charles!!

hii pretty girl

yn 🤍

helloooo char:)

charles!!

cant wait to see you after all of these months

yn🤍

it's literally been what?

5 months talking 😃

charles!!

and? I promised you that confession in person didn't I?

yn🤍

shut ur mouth

charles!!

only if it's ur lips

he was the sweetest once they met, he wrapped an arm around her waist instantly. charles pecked her cheek and looked at her with a wide smile.

"hey"

she smiled back,

"hey"

they were happy for awhile, why wouldn't they? charles would take her on the most expensive dates yet. he would have her by his side no matter what the occasion. when it was race day, she was there even when he lost terribly. she would always be there for him.

but they weren't official, she never thought he would take this long to ask her to his official girlfriend. when she confronted about it to him, he always said the same thing.

"I do want you to be my girlfriend. It's just I want to plan it out perfectly just for you, my girl"

she should've never believed him. she should've started getting suspicious when he suddenly stopped asking her to go to his races occasionally. but she didn't question it, just brushing it off thinking he was just busy that's all.

yn

hi!!

charles!!

hey pretty, how are you?

yn

good gooddd

you've been lagging on me tbh😞

charles!!

Ik ik

it's just been busy lately

yk training and stuff

yn

yeah I know

I just miss talking to you

charles!!

you'll have me to yourself soon

:)

yn

right ☺️

yn just thought he was busy that's all. he's a celebrity and celebrities are always busy, right? it wasn't until a week later where he finally invited her to a dinner celebration with other f1 drivers. his hand resting on her lower back the majority of the time as he whispered sweet nothings in her ear.

"you should've not worn this dress. you look out of this world" he whispered in her ear before placing a peck on her cheek. she felt herself start forming a smile at his compliment. no matter how hard she tried not give him an reaction she always failed. the sweetness from him quickly ended when he left her alone in the table going to chat along with the other boys.

she was incredibly bored, one of her fingers tapping the table. she didn't know anyone in the celebration. the girlfriends of the other drivers were in their own world not even paying attention to her. yn was safe to say she felt excluded by everyone here. she would've been talking to lily but lily seemed to skip this dinner party this time.

20 minutes ended up passing by, she felt incredibly small at this point. she flinched slightly feeling someone tap her shoulder. her gaze shifted to the person next to her. he was smiling at her widely. "hey! did charles dumbass leave you here alone?" yn chuckled slightly. "I guess he got too caught up with the others" he hummed with her response.

"I'm lando" she hummed giving him a soft smile, "lando? alright im yn" he grinned this time showing off his pearly whites. "yn, what a pretty name for a pretty girl" she laughed shaking her head.

she placed her chin on her hand taking in his appearance, "I would compliment you back but I don't think I can" he leaned closer to her. "oh really? why? is charles your boyfriend now?" she was going to say yes but he wasn't her boyfriend. "well not yet. though I only have eyes on him" lando tilted his head and leaned back onto his chair. "if I was him I would've made you my girlfriend already by the third month" his words made her heart sting.

the ride back to the hotel was silent. when the two had step inside charles closed the door behind them leaning against the door. "didn't know you were all smiles with lando" yn sat on the edge of the bed looking at him. "what? he was just keeping me company" she frowned, why was he acting like this?

"stay away from him pretty, he just wants to steal you from me" he spoke softly as he walked in front of her. "you can do that for me right?" his hand brushed her strand of hairs away from her eyes. she was a weak women, "yeah I can" charles smiled satisfied he grip her chin up placing a kiss on her lips. he slowly pushed her down onto the bed. "so good to me, yeah?" he heavily breathed.

"god, let's get you out of this dress"

yn felt stupid for waiting his notifications. she wonder what went wrong was it because she responded too quickly? she didn't know but she was tired. she was tired of his excuses for not asking her out officially. she was tired of him responding so late to her lately.

yn

what position you got her in😂😐

charles.

what..?

yn

oh now u reply lol

charles

yn, you know im busy.

yn

and im sick of you being so-called busy everyday.

charles

you know that's what I mean though. It's not my fault I have training and stuff.

yn

you know what charles, im tired of whatever we have going on. I don't wanna be just a stupid situation. Why won't you make me your girlfriend yet? it's been over 7 months of us talking, going on dates, literally fucking?? what else do you want from me?

charles

im sorry yn. it's just im scared my fans will hurt you they aren't used to me dating girls with black hair and yk?

yn

what the fuck.

im starting to think you don't actually like me

charles

I do I swear

yn

no you don't. you would've accepted me. sorry im not a blonde girl with blue eyes. have fun with your new bitch i can tell you've been texting someone new.

charles

wait yn please just listen to me

read

he spammed her for almost a week but that quickly ended. she was heartbroken, who wouldn't be though? she hated the fact that he just was experimenting around with her. that same week he was spotted with a girl with blonde hair. it broke her, so she did what any girl would do after a situation.

she instantly went insane, crying to sad songs on blast. she clearly looked like a mess, it didn't help that after that her fall semester started. people stared at her like she was crazy. her hair was always in a messy hairstyle she didn't even bother wearing makeup or dressing up.

"you seriously need to get over him" her best friend said through the phone screen. yn looked at her with a frown, "i seriously cannot" the friend sighed shaking her head softly. "that's because you keep making it worse. I say dye your hair blonde and post just to show him you'll look good in any hair color" yn raised her eyebrows as she fixed the camera on the call.

"isn't that just making me seem desperate though?"

"well, if he texts you just ignore him. hey who knows maybe another driver will text you" she winked teasing.

"I don't think so... charles didn't let me talk to any of them" she sighed flopping down on her bed again.

"and? he isn't here now is he?"

ynusername posted!

ynusername 🪩🍾

comments off

you have two new messages!

charles_leclerc

hey, I missed you, pretty girl.

landonorris

hey😁

🎐: wowahhhh that was crazy 🤣😂(no it wasn't) I hope you enjoyed this short oneshot!! lmk if you want a part two fr😊

[dandyshucks]

realizing i wanted to ask - how did u first fall in love w/ guzma (irl) ? :o (@dmclr)

ougghh (/happy) Clara you always ask such good questions omg 🫶

umm... okay so. i should give a general "abuse CW" label i guess fjfkdl but I'll keep it vague and to a minimum of mention! also putting it below the cut because I RAMBLED SO MUCH, SORRY IN ADVANCE

tumblr kind of went crazy for the guy when the anime finally introduced him in 2019 (it took SO long to get to him, over 100 episodes in the su/mo arc 😭) and at first i didnt think much of him rly, but then somehow eventually (a few months later) i found out through osmosis that he's got trauma going on and my ears kind of perked up a bit LOL

(underwater just to set it apart from the rest of the post so it doesnt blend in and get confusing fndkdl) screenshot of the post i rbed where i first mentioned liking him fdsjkl

around the same time, i was having some realizations about my own experiences with childhood and family etc, and there was some other stuff going on in my life (also. the plague started so uh. that too.) that was just kind of culminating in like. A Lot of stress and fear and stuff. so seeing this character who has experienced somewhat similar things was ... comforting in a way? shared experience or something, idk. plus I've always been a sucker for misfit archetype characters, especially if they make a little family out of other misfits :')

another big part of the intrigue (because my crushes always start with a sort of 👀 phase fdsjkl, I have to think somebody is interesting in some way and want to find out More about them, and then feelings develop from there) for me was just the fact that he was Angry. like... the way I've personally learned to deal w abuse has been to always be meek and fawn. so seeing someone who went in the opposite direction, to become angry and strong and defiant instead, was SO fascinating to me and I was very curious to learn more about him.

so I looked into him more, loved what i found, related to him a bit, accidentally by some random occurrence stumbled upon some bf audios of him somehow??, wished he were real so we could hang out, thought about how I'd act around him and started to feel a little flustered about it ... it's all downhill from there once u reach that point smh 😔😔 (/silly)

for a long time i didn't really fully step into s.elfship territory w him - i dabbled a little but he wasnt The Focus™ in my brain yet. also we (as a system) have had a host change since then, so there was a previous juno that was not Me (even though we kept the same main name between us two parts), and they didn't like the guy as much as Current Me does djfkdl - theres also some ... relatively significant personality differences between the two versions of Juno, so I think Juno2.0 (me) meshes with him a lot better now than Juno1.0 did in 2020/2021

and then last year, i found and joined the s.elfship community and um. I absolutely did not mean for him to become The Main Guy and never would've guessed he would be, but... well,, we dont always plan things i suppose, feelings just happen 😭

anyways. it maybe seems kind of messed up but his ~tragic backstory~ is what drew me in initially bc it helped me feel less alone and scared when i was Going Through some pretty major shit lol. and then after that, i just kind of took the character base that pkmn had in place and ran with it to build on it and sort of make my own version of him that I could be friends with and eventually fell in love with ^^;;

TL;DR it was a mix of timing, similar history of abuse, intrigue bc of our opposite reactions to the abuse, and um... the way he is like,, strong and builds a safe place for other young ppl who feel unsafe or not accepted in general society fdsjkl

i get embarrassed talking abt it bc ppl seem to really hate it when abuse victims are weak in any way and need help, but ... i do really like that he is strong in some ways and would be able to give me a sort of safe place to let my guard down and receive help and care (as shown by the way he provides a safe place for the grunts, all the misfits and outcasts of Alola) ^^;;;; honestly kind of a Big part of it for me (and for pretty much all my s.elfship dynamics) is that he is able to protect me and care for me, because I have not like. experienced that ever. at least not properly. when your parents are the ones being abusive, you not only do not experience protection and care but you're also being actively hurt in some way by the people who are supposed to keep you safe. so to be freely given care and safety is kind of crazyyyy to me LOL, that is something i like a lot about him :')

OKAY RAMBLE OVER. i really tried to keep this as short as i could but,, brevity is not a strength of mine (esp when it comes to him) LOL. THANK YOU for the question !!! its fun to look back at how it all happened tbh :]

[beansprean]

hi, I’m new to your acc and tumblr in general and idk if you even still make tt content but if you do: how did all the Titans end up in the polycule? Like who was dating first, who did brought it up, who was totally confused at first, etc?

If you don’t make Titans content any more that’s totally fine. Have an awesome day, and I think your blog is really cool. Thanks!

….I have literally never given thought to how they got together djdjdjdj they sprang from my head fully formed and ‘culed lmaooo

I imagine it started with like, separate couples. Like bb and rae kinda sorta got together during all the terra drama (both also in love with her) and drew her back to their side with the power of love but it’s a while before she agrees to date them both bc she’s not in a great place after all that. And then robin and star got together obvs, uhaul lesbians always. Meanwhile star and cy have been hooking up long before she and Robin officially start dating. Star is like if u wanna be exclusive it’s fine cy and I are just post-gym adrenaline fuckbuddies, no romance just sweaty buff alien robot porking. And Robin is like 😳 umm….ok… but eventually is like please continue doing that not because I’m into it or anything. And then eventually he and cy start dating too and that was cyborgs plan all along. Then BB is like “my best bro is dating my bro….I am….third wheel?? 🥺” and so he starts flirting with cy constantly (poorly) and interrupting their dates with Robin like a weirdo. Until everyone has to sit him down and explain gently that he has a crush on cyborg and they should just date already. Meanwhile with their bfs dating new people raven and star tend to hang out more (raven thought this would result in more alone time for her but alas star keeps finding her) and star keeps making jokes like “everyone else is dating when are we gonna get together raven?? Haha just kidding…unless?” And I think that takes a much longer time to happen, like after terra returns and the bbterraven minicule is complete and they get comfy being together and raven becomes a little more emotionally available. Star keeps patiently pining. Until raven looks at her one day and is like huh. We should be holding hands. And then they do.

Ok turns out I had plenty of thoughts about that lmaoooooo ty!! WELCOME TO TUMBLR you're either here for a month or you're here forever

[loversung]

(◕ᴥ◕) fanfic writers tag game!

tagged by: @dhoya thank u <3 although i don’t write near enough 😭

tagging: umm idk @byeongsung @cobbae @nari-nim and any writer friends/followers who wanna do it <3 no pressure though my beloveds i just don’t have many writer friends lmfao

what fandoms have you written for (but do not currently)?

i’m embarrassed to say i used to write fanfiction for people like justin bieber, shawn mendes, austin mahone, and the other non-shawn magcon boys.

kpop wise i’ve written for bts, stray kids, ateez, a.c.e, victon, txt, got7, seventeen, treasure, the boyz, cravity, and enhypen. yeah, i know. don’t look at me.

what fandoms are you currently writing for?

nct 2020. they have enough members for my pea brain right now.

how long have you been writing?

for most of my life, honestly. but i started writing seriously about 7 or 8 years ago? and since then i’ve written things like plays that have actually gotten performed and shit.

on which platforms do you post your stories?

up until 2 years ago, i was a wattpad user. then i joined tumblr, and so far this is the only place i’ve posted my current pieces (thought i will likely cross post to ao3 and maybe wattpad to try to stop those thieves on those sites)

what is your favourite genre to write?

angst. anything to do with angst. i like to hurt. if i’m not choked up, sobbing while writing it, i’m not doing it right.

are you a pantser or a planner?

i try to plan, but usually i jump the gun and go straight in. once i have a vague idea of what i want to happen in a story, it’s over if i have the motivation to write it.

one shot or multi-chapter?

as of now, one shots. i want to try my hand at multi chaptered fics, though.

what is the perfect chapter length in your opinion?

i like thick stories with lots of existentialism in them. but it depends on the genre. for fluff or romance, anywhere from a couple thousand words. but for angst? break my tumblr when i try to reblog it.

what is your longest published story? is it complete?

ashamed to say that my longest oneshot is only 5.3k words ….

which story(ies) did you enjoy working on the most?

the aforementioned had a pretty spicy plot (angel vs demon) so it was quite fun to write. i might rewrite it and make it … not smut, and focus more on the tension of the enemies to lovers type thing.

i’m also enjoying working on “gimme some sugar” although i’ve run myself straight into a corner.

favourite request you’ve have written and why (if any?)

i don’t typically write requests. it’s a weird thing where if it doesn’t come from my brain i literally cannot write it.

are there reoccurring themes in your stories?

no…? i don’t think so. i don’t really write enough to count.

current number of wips?

5 confirmed, over 40 stored in the brain bank able to be released at any time.

three things you have noticed about your own writing?

i use way too many lengthy sentences.

sometimes they read like a john green novel. no hate to john green (i enjoyed stories like looking for alaska, paper towns, etc.), but it makes me feel like i have nothing special about my own writing.

my style varies depending on the mood i’m in, so there’s always inconsistencies, even if they are minor, in my full pieces that take multiple sessions to finish.

a quote you like from a published story.

i, uh, unpublished everything. whoops.

a quote from an unpublished story.

tw: death and grief mentions

Death strikes when we least expect it. We live our lives, knowing that one day, we will die, yet somehow, when the inevitable has finally approached, nobody is ever prepared. All of our lives, we live a life to leave behind—a legacy, if you will—but it’s never enough. We’re selfish and pray that the deities would grant us the wish that we and our loved ones could live forever. And when they don’t, we cry. We cry, scream, and curse them as we drop to our knees, grasping at the ground beneath us, trying to gain a sense of reality.

— “by skill and valour”

this is a space for you to say something to your readers.

i’m more thankful for you guys than you could ever know. not to get personal, because i like to keep my private details private, but writing is my preferred form of escapism. when things get hard for me, i write to distract myself. and it means a lot that you all have stuck by me and choose to read my mediocre fruits of mental illness effort. i love you all.

also, please feel free to pop up in my asks or tag me in things that make you think of me. i love interacting with you all and making friends. and if you ever need someone to talk to, juno the resident mom friend™️ or older sister™️ is here. for anything. <3

[leecravesdeath]

author interview tag :))

I got tagged by @uwusunflower 💛

i put a keep reading thing because it seems quite long and i don’t want to bother people with it :)

Name: Lena

Fandoms: really just rpdr BUT i’ve seen quite a few shows that i would probably like to try one day but i doubt i will so i might just write things inspired by them instead because that feels like a happy medium 

Where you post: tumblr and ao3 

most popular oneshot: ‘i’m not happy to be here but i’m happy i met you’ (it’s essentially a oneshot with another ending- does that make it multichap?)

most popular multi-chap fic: ^^

favourite story you’ve written so far: i’m not sure, i’m not really a fan of things i do 

fic you were nervous to post: i’m a generally nervous person and i get nervous about what people think of the things i do so i guess i was more nervous to post ‘tattoos and tea in the early morning’ because it was my first. i tend to do this thing where i schedule it to post then dip so i don’t have to look at it

how you choose your titles: i usually have the general idea that i want for a fic as the title which is how ‘tattoos and tea in the early morning’ was named. sometimes it’s there as a placeholder; other times it just ends up being the actual title

do you outline: i think i do a little bit, i tend to plan at the top of a google doc in big letters then use red to write what i want and where i want it. i did it with essays at school and i’ve found it works really well for me as i’m quite forgetful. 

complete: i've posted two things but nothing newly completed as of right now as i’m a little bit busy with my personal life but i’m working on stuff gradually

in progress: i just checked and it’s like 12. i can confirm that more than half of those are just random things i thought of and decided that it could work and then slowly realise i haven’t a clue what i’m doing so they just sit there until i can think

coming soon: well i had this thing planned for halloween but as you can tell, it didn’t happen. it was a kind of continuation but not really for ‘tattoos and tea in the early morning’ and it was going to basically be scarlett and juice going on a dumb little date to a pumpkin patch and just spending the day together doing stupid shit. i think it’s now going to be christmas themed (maybe picking a tree idk). 

do you accept prompts: sure! never done it before but i can try if anyone ever has anything they want :)

upcoming work that you’re most excited for: umm i have a grey’s anatomy thing i’m working on. it heavily inspired by the show (i think i’m going to use lines from the show but i’m not 100% sure yet) as i’m literally getting a couple from the show and just swapping them with scarlett and juice. 

i tag @sapphic-tomlinson, @clownhoward and @goblindyke33 if you want to do it :)

[lizzybeth1986]

Quick Thoughts on TRR Book 1 Chapter 8

• So…umm…I LOVE this chapter! More in hindsight than when I was actually playing it because back then it just sounded like a jealous woman trying to sabotage the MC and failing. But now having played through this chapter and even written a fic about it…I have to say there’s a lot going on in this one.

• I’ve often found the 8th chapter in the series pretty interesting. This was the first chapter in the series to feature diamond scenes from all three of the original LIs in a single chapter. This would happen again in Book 2, but by Book 2 the imbalance was a lot more tangible. I will speak more about this later…but suffice to say that back when we had just two books in the series, I would call the 8th chapter The Magical Number Eight.

• A common misconception that seems to stem from this chapter (and others, often by Kiara-haters) is that Kiara “agrees to be our friend” this chapter, and then jumps ship to Madeleine in Book 2. That’s bullshit. Kiara never mentions the word friend. She says ally. And she delivers.

• THIS is also where you get the first little inkling that Maxwell could be romanced, though we would only know for sure by the middle of Book 2. This chapter is also where you also get the first of many Drake’s plot related scenes. Which meant that sometimes, even if a fan did not like him, they would end up buying his scenes anyway for some crumb of information on their LI. Drake was already getting popular, but dropping hints of plot into his scenes gave him an added edge and often encouraged fans of other LIs who didn’t like him, to buy his scenes.

• Anyway, since the buildup took an entire chapter, the book pushes us straight into the dressing room for this one!

• Title: A Waltz to Remember.

Alternative Title: Lizzy Turns This QT into a Kiara Gush-fest And Does Not Regret It (Even If It Gave Her Hand-Cramps).

I love how over the course of three books, this particular dance form of Cordonia has gained the importance it has. And it’s lovely how - even though we’re not meant to like Olivia at this point - our first glimpse of Cordonian culture through this dance, is in her estate.

• Hana’s silver dress makes its debut here! Honestly, I kinda would’ve liked this one a LOT better as a gown than as the bodycon it eventually became. That pleated bodice really needed a long, flowy skirt to work. I’m always going to be a little sore they made it a short bodycon instead 😑

• Okay I love both our options for the ball, okay. They’re both big, and glamorous, and make a real statement. Which is necessary, because the plan is to show Olivia up at her own home.

Winter Goddess is gorgeous - it has that vintage Hollywood feel to me, and the caption for it sounds pretty romantic (“will capture the winter moonlight”). Snowflake Sweetheart is very on-point for the whole snow/ice theme Lythikos itself has going on. I’m very fond of the crystals and the illusion sleeves on the second one….but I have to say that silk-satin one with the fur stole is the winner for me 😅

Me Back Then (on one of my million replays): If I really have to take a diamond option, I’m taking the second one. I’m cheap.

Me Now: Still cheap. I’m not spending 25 whole diamonds on another gown when there’s already a cute one free in my closet.

• Maxwell is trying hard to channel Bertrand 2.0, and is badgered enough by 1.0 over the phone to almost succeed.

• One of the formal phrases he uses is “a diamond of the first water”, a phrase you’d see very commonly in the Regency era…which kind of solidifies my belief that Regency England was one of their world building inspirations even back then.

• We don’t fully understand the kind of power the hostess can wield in her homeplace, until this sequence. On principle, Olivia is not exactly answerable to anyone, not even the royals visiting her in Lythikos - she can decide on seat arrangements, she can give instructions to the staff on who gets the best portions of the meals and who gets the worst, she can monopolize on the Prince’s time with her if she wants. And she takes full advantage of that.

• However, her being the hostess doesn’t always leave her completely free to do what she wants, without consequences. Lythikos is not just a turning point for us - it’s one for her as well. And not exactly in a good way.

• Here’s what Olivia does to sabotage us at the ball:

- seats us away from our sponsor, and away from the head table. In fact this is something she does to all the suitors - Maxwell tells us that not a single one has a place at the head table.

- seats us way back, next to a commoner who is also constantly given the same treatment - which Hana points out is meant to be viewed in the court as an insult. To an MC who is still learning the ways of the nobility, this move is pretty much a miss…but it does give us a very clear idea of how hypocritical the nobility and royalty can be. Hana is not immune to the prejudice either (seen as she does not censor the statement when she says it in front of Drake, a commoner), but she eventually grows to fiercely guard him and defend him from those kind of attitudes later on… and you can see a lot of that growth in TRH’s Walker Ranch chapters.

- has her servers give us ice-cold lobster bisque on purpose, thirty minutes after serving has begun. With no lobster in it. Remember, we’re in a wintry region where you require piping hot, creamy, fattening foods to stay warm. This isn’t just ruining a meal: Olivia is sending a clear message about how unwelcome they are, by giving them cold food devoid of the main protein, in the freezing cold of Lythikos.

- given the timing of her kiss on Liam during the waltz, she probably did that to send a message to us as well. It happens shortly after our dance with him, and from her reaction (angry, immediately establishing claim on him) to Liam’s dance with the MC, we can tell she’s more affected than she’d like to admit, and that’s what informs her actions during her second dance with him.

• Me Back Then: There is a nice option and a rude option. It’s Drake, but he’s Liam’s bff and I want to be nice.

(+ romance point)

Me Back Then:

Me Now: Romance points in Lythikos fall from Drake the way pee falls from someone with weak kegels. One tiny laugh and pssssshhhh.

• From the rude option you find out that Drake plays chess and often wins in his matches with Liam, so that’s a nice touch.

• The MC can acquire the fresh bisque for herself and her friends if she dramatically faints in front of a server. I quite like this (optional) moment because it shows her thinking on her feet and quickly ensuring she gets her way. The other options are pretty hilarious too, though, the obnoxious “do you know who I am” option comes with a Game of Thrones reference 😂

•

Me Back Then: …someone should leave Drake hungry at a party till the wee hours of the morning with access to only whiskey bottles. Whiskey for entrèe, whiskey for main, maybe we’ll be kind and give him brandy for dessert. Let’s see how far his love for whiskey goes then 😈

Me Now: Holy shit, Me Back Then, you just predicted the best scene in Book 3 🤣.

• One of my favourite TRR Tumblr posts ever, was the one where someone took a screenshot of Drake saying “I’m not one to complain about food” from this chapter, and placed a gif of Nicholas Fraser’s “Why You Always Lying” lyrics just beneath it 😄 If that isn’t the truth idk what is.

• Most of the chapter after this will focus on the Cordonian Waltz, Olivia’s little stunt and getting allies, so the buildup to Drake’s scene will happen now (and Hana’s just before we meet Drake). Hana will be dancing with Tariq, and then other partners in the meantime, so no opportunities to dance with her there.

I loved this dialogue option when I first saw it, but now that I know how much in love with dancing Maxwell is, this scene is ten times more fun! 😃

• On first playthrough…this didn’t seem like that big a problem. Maxwell was fun, and seemed to genuinely like us, and was berated a great deal by Bertrand - so it was easier then to perhaps forgive his gaffes and want to comfort him instead. But when you approach his character as someone who brought a complete foreigner to his country and then didn’t make much of an effort to educate her with what little time they both had…I wind up finding his character a lot less endearing. I’m honestly more irritated by his carelessness. There was a lot he could have done even if he forgot or didn’t know what to do. He could have asked around! Hana was right in front of him! He could have found out what to prepare for if he didn’t know or if Bertrand didn’t handhold him (which Bertrand himself isn’t exactly doing a good job of in the first place). The other LIs shouldn’t have to constantly step in and do his job as sponsor and guide!

• It’s only when we’re dancing that Maxwell realizes he’s not taught us the dance. Of course, if you bought Hana’s waltz scene, she whispers her advice just before you dance with him, and you give her credit for teaching you. If not, you go into it knowing very little (but because the options are easy to choose from, so you can still manage). Maxwell does explain its uniqueness in terms of the flirting potential and the fact that it’s a courtship dance…but the true beauty of that description only comes with Hana.

• Istg, if Hana weren’t around to repeatedly save our ungrateful asses…

• So THIS is the first opportunity you get to ‘romance’ Maxwell. He looks sad and tells you that you should only be here for the Prince, but it’s also that vague kind of sadness that you can interpret differently and write detailed fanfics about! I think a huge part of Maxwell’s appeal (besides the overall sparkling personality, and the fact that he was so different from both Liam and Drake) was the “will-he-won’t-he” nature of the LI question itself.

• We now move on to Liam, who is fighting a losing battle with his desire to favour the MC exclusively, but wants her to know that she is special to him. Notably he does say this in the “courtship” part of the dance.

• How do you know that the Cordonian Waltz was a strategic choice? Because Olivia chose to dance with Liam twice! And because she’s the hostess, it’s harder for Liam to refuse.

I remember being pretty uncomfortable with this scene the first time I saw it, I still am, and often I wonder if I’m the only one who feels that way. Whenever I see this scene being referenced, it’s often referenced in the most flippant ways. And it baffles me.

• Honestly, Olivia was clearly overstepping her boundaries here and didn’t even bother to ask Liam before doing it (Liam himself mentions he was “caught by surprise” and calls it an “unexpected advance”). Was Olivia doing it out of complex, understandable reasons? Like jealousy or frustration or showing the MC up? Well, sure I guess. But it doesn’t take away from the fact that her doing so was nonconsensual and downright wrong.

The funny thing is often this incident is either downplayed or erased completely, especially in contexts where people try to argue that Olivia “deserves better” than Liam, or sympathize with her for loving a man who “does not care about her”.

Does Olivia deserve to be loved back by a person she loves? Absolutely.

Is Liam a lesser person for not loving her back? No, and he shouldn’t have to be penalized or judged by a fandom for not doing so.

Is the fact that most people who uphold this “penalizing/blaming Liam for not returning Olivia’s feelings” argument, also tend to forget/downplay this particular incident…particularly disturbing? Well, yeah, definitely.

• Even the narrative fails with regard to this, actually. It is written in a comical style, with a couple of out-there dialogue options (like screaming loud enough of break poor Maxwell’s eardrums) and the MC is given a chance to lash out at Liam for not reacting fast enough or throwing Olivia off of him. And guess what his reaction is. Sad, contrite, trying to explain his position. It’s almost like it’s okay for him to feel guilty about something that was done TO him, that he was never asked permission for.

Olivia does suffer consequences, but more for her “power play” than for anything else. Her move isn’t viewed as negative for what it may do to Liam, it is negative because it is seen as a direct “fuck you” she is delivering to her competitors. The scene itself is written for laughs…which I’m surprised more people don’t find even a little uncomfortable.

• The reactions from the other suitors is pretty on point for their character types at this point. Madeleine is smug and condescending, confident that she will never be “unrefined or insecure” enough for such “ostentatious displays” (says the woman who will bully her entire court, run around Italy roaring drunk and name a drink after herself in Book 2). Penelope doesn’t exactly have a personality at this point, she merely comments that the kiss was a bold play. It is Kiara who points out the power dynamics involved and views it as the last straw in her waning support for Olivia.

Remember - the ladies of the court weren’t treated half as badly as we were, but they were probably more aware (than us) that they were being denied a seat at the head table, and had to put up with Olivia monopolizing Prince Liam’s time. While Kiara’s suspicions that Olivia is “mad with power” here probably aren’t too far off the mark (even though her feelings of jealousy and confusion may be involved, we can’t deny that there is a clear sense of “I’m the hostess here, I can do what I want”), it’s not just an assumption that simply stems out of nowhere.

• Maxwell sees and opportunity to gain allies, and encourages us to capitalize on it. The wrong options are pretty interesting: if you mention “slapping the smirk off Olivia’s face”, Maxwell tells you that the political equivalent would be to “attack her alliances”. If you suggest making out with Liam in public, Maxwell exclaims that doing so would lead to people gunning after you. Which is telling, because in Book 1 PDA is mostly shown as being frowned upon in Cordonian society in general. So Olivia’s very public kiss isn’t just brazen and bold to the courtly ladies, but also viewed as inappropriate and a jab at their own lack of power in this situation.

• I love that Maxwell gets the opportunity to encourage us to play politics. Love it. He is the first one to notice the change in Kiara’s attitude towards Olivia, and he recognizes that the time is ripe for us to captialize on it. While Bertrand, or Bertrand-and-Maxwell, are the ones who tell us the importance of gaining support from the press and the royals, getting the court to support us is wholly Maxwell’s idea. This added another layer to the way he was built in the story, and I’m not happy that we didn’t see a lot of that perceptiveness and skill around court later on. By Books 2 and 3, he was mostly relegated to the funny guy, the court jester. Book 1 Maxwell may make a lot of mistakes but you bet he’d be too smart to toss brushettas in the face of dignitaries at the UN. It was like his own writers forgot Maxwell was capable of more.

• OKAY SO THE KIARA SECTION IS A FAVOURITE OF MINE OKAY. And it only wound up being a favourite when I realized there were changes in her dialogue between my Esther playthrough and my Persephone one. I mean if I weren’t already a fan of her…this definitely would have converted me.

Before I get into the actual gushing…I’ll just summarize what the MC has to do to gain her approval:

- Language: Kiara is known for her proficiency with languages - it is the skill that defines her in court (to the point that you barely notice her other qualities). Her home language is French, and if you know how to respond to comment ça va she is cheerful and more willing to hear you out (if you choose the fromage answer she’ll a bit surprised but not too hostile, and if you say voulez-vous coucher avec moi, well…of course she’ll be pissed off because you just accidentally asked her to sleep with you). In any case, to gain her approval you need to respond in French.

In fact even Kiara’s goodbyes vary based on whether she becomes your ally or not. If she’s your ally, she says à bientôt before leaving (which is “see you soon”). If she’s not convinced by your arguments, she says adieu, which has more of a sense of finality to it and is often said when you don’t expect to meet again (in fact I’m surprised they had her say it) and is different from au revior (which means “until we see each other again”).

- Olivia’s Actions: Kiara reiterates to you what she’d just told the others - Olivia is on a power trip, and while Kiki is well aware that she’s not a top contender in this competition, she is not going to stand for being treated like she is lesser than the ones who do have power. Interestingly, in both Chapter 7 of Book 2 and this chapter, Kiara’s first visible signs of discontent/frustration come when both Olivia/Madeleine go on massive power trips (“she even named a drink after herself. Quelle narcissique”, Kiara says about Madeleine in the next book).

I feel like Kiara’s frustration may have already been there with Olivia’s treatment of the ladies of the court at the start of the Ball (but perhaps she may have been brushed it aside as a strategy you could expect from a noblewoman in her own estate) but it is Olivia kissing Liam and trying to establish a claim on him that is seen as the tipping point for her.

However, she’s also pretty pragmatic and is lowkey impressed with Olivia if you state that she went too far. She is irritated by the message Olivia is sending, but acknowledges that not many would have dared to do that in her place. A more neutral response works well with Kiara’s train of thought, because to her the important thing is seeing what works in the long run, and the MC has to convince her that she is a good alternative.

- Alliance: Kiara already anticipates this, since she is the one who straight-out asks this question. At this point Kiara is not exactly aiming to be Queen - she knows she is up against more powerful people, people who have more access to the royal family (perhaps her dad Hakim would have had a similar amount of access if Constantine wasn’t such a dick). She is not going to waste her time wishing for what she won’t get, when she can easily network instead. The answer that works best with her is the one where the MC speaks of Olivia’s friendship as being a one-way street where she always gets her way, which is ironic considering how the MC behaves in a likely worse manner towards Kiara in Book 3.

• One of my favourite Kiara lines is from the wrong option (“I’m nicer than Olivia”) for the Alliance segment: “Nice? Nothing about being here is nice. If I wanted nice I’d buy a teacup pig. 😡”

• Back in Books 6’s QT, I mentioned Queen Regina and Duke Bertrand as being the two people in the first book who watch out and keep track on our progress. Bertrand does it because he is our sponsor, Regina does it because after all we are one of the candidates for her stepson’s hand in marriage, and we’re the one he eventually shows the most interest in. But there is one other person who seems to be taking notice of our good performance as well:

On my fail run, where Persy doesn’t gain approval either from the press, or from the royals, those last two lines simply do not appear. She asks us about whether we’re looking for an alliance, and we immediately answer her. She will still join hands with you if you convince her (I did a test run where Persy said all the right things) but those words will not feature anywhere. Because the dialogue is coded such that it will only appear if you’ve done well in your previous two tasks.

That is fascinating to me, because Kiara is the only lady of the court who is written as noticing these things at such an early stage in the competition (the Lythikos Ball is only the third event in the social season, and the maximum approvals come from the Derby, which was the event just preceding it). She is the only person, besides Bertrand and Regina, who keeps track of our progress (even if that is only uptil this point, because if you win her support here, it stays that way until the Coronation). Even Madeleine, who has been part of a social season before and is viewed as having a lot of experience in the court, compared to the other ladies, spends most of her time simply underestimating the MC. It isn’t until Applewood and Ramsford that Madeleine even begins to think there might be more to this person.

Kiara, on the other hand, is observant. She is competitive but she knows when other people have the upper hand, and she will honestly acknowledge that you have an edge if you have proven yourself to the press and the Queen. For someone who would be seen as just a lady of the court….that level of foresight, observation skills and pragmatism is pretty phenomenal to me.

• I’ve said this many times and I will say it again: Kiara has always been upfront about what she’s bringing to the table in an alliance. She isn’t your friend and she won’t pretend to be your friend either. She mentions she will put in a good word and support you in becoming Queen, and she keeps her promise.

She keeps her distance from you otherwise, so you can’t dub her a ‘friend’ even then, but she will do her work as an ally. She doesn’t get involved in smearing your name while supporting you to your face. At the end of the day, she is a woman in the court trying to thrive and carve a space of her own, but she won’t dirty her hands to do that - and I don’t think she gets enough recognition for that.

• Alright I’ll stop gushing about Kiki otherwise this QT will never end 😂

• We now meet Liam, who tells us about the hot tub in his room, and invites us there. The intent is clearly romantic (the MC specifies as such, smiling, and Liam winks at you before he leaves).

• This chapter also marks the second time you see Penelope with Liam, after which you will only see her directly interact with him at his Coronation. Funny how Kiara doesn’t get even one opportunity in the narrative to talk to him.

• It’s the end of our big night in Lythikos, and we’ve got three invitations to spend time with an LI! Liam’s setting up candles near the hot tub, Hana is playing exquisite melodies on the piano, and Drake is drinking whiskey in Olivia’s wine cellar. Maxwell is…doing Maxwell things that we are not privy to yet. Or taking a nap.

• I won’t be going too much into detail esp for Liam and Hana’s scenes - because I have essays written on both! Both will be under the “Liam: Diamond Scenes” and “Hana: Diamond Scenes” sections of my essay masterlist if anyone is interested 😃 They will be titled “Hot Tub at Lythikos” and “Piano at the Parlour”, respectively. (another recommended read is “Exploring Hana in Her Context” where I talk about this scene, and her characterization. It’s a little further down on the masterlist).

•

(Screenshots for Drake from the HIMEME YouTube channel)

Liam: This is undoubtedly meant to be a romantic scene, and is hinted as much in the lead-up to it while still giving the MC the space to not go (since she says “I won’t make any promises”). He puts candles around the tub, and the tub itself is situated in an area where you can get a wonderful view of the mountains.

This scene is divided into two parts: the first where Liam gets to sincerely tell the MC he trusts her (optionally) and where they lightly flirt, and the second where he admits to feeling conflicted between giving in to his feelings and being fair to the other women. At this point he knows his feelings for the MC are stronger, implicitly trusts her (“I thoroughly believe that if you thought I was a pompous ass, you wouldn’t hesitate to tell me. I trust you, MC. Anything you say”), doesn’t want to call it love just yet but is well on his way to doing so. He tells us about his brother Leo, hinting at the events of the RoE series and explaining that seeing how love affected him made Liam think more about it. It’s not one of Liam’s absolute best scenes…but it is a sweet one where Liam tentatively explores his growing love for her - in some ways leading to his “almost-declaration” of love at the Forgotten Falls. In each scene of Liam’s, he takes a step further, and another, and another, to admitting his love for her and growing less guilty about his desire to be with her. He is still torn between his duty and his desire at this point, but you can already see him slowly inching towards the prospect of keeping what he wants first, for once.

Hana: This, in my mind, is Hana’s most powerful scene. As many adjectives as I can use to describe her in this scene would be inadequate, because it’s that good, that layered, that rich with nuance and detail. But I do think I can sum a bit of it up with a quote from a Book 3 Liam scene that instantly took me back to this one:

“Hana’s a tough one. She’s clearly had the kind of lessons I’m giving you now, and then some. Her posture is almost always polite and attentive…but when she feels strongly about something, you can sense her real feelings even before she speaks up. Her eyes grow darker and more serious.”

Compare the scenes from last chapter where she speaks about ice-skating, or even waltzing, to this one. In both those scenes, her expression is mostly neutral (or joyful when she is imparting her knowledge), speaking of it in a way that makes you understand that her heart isn’t truly in doing those things. But in this one, she is lost in her music when she plays it, she is feeling its melody in her bones, she speaks of guarding her most precious skill fiercely against her parents’ control because it’s the one thing she wants for herself. She is fierce and passionate and absolutely beautiful in the way she expresses her love for music.

In an essay I did on exploring Hana’s character in her larger context, I spoke at length about how this scene is important because it highlights that her struggle for her own autonomy began at a very young age - she recognized her art as sacred to her and had the foresight to understand that parading it around the way her parents wanted her to, would make her love it less. This scene is amazing because Young Hana is described as pushing back in the only way she knew how, so she could keep what was hers, on her terms.

The other thing this scene explores is her childhood loneliness and lack of friends, and how music helped her in those difficult times too. At this point we now know how deep that loneliness was, and how damaging to her, but back then this scene gave a wonderful insight to Childhood Hana.

So for her to trust us with her art - with the art she fought to keep her own…that’s a tremendous leap in that relationship - whether the MC is a friend or a potential lover. Romantically, she is at the point where she is slowly…slowly getting comfortable with the MC’s touch, allowing it to linger before she pulls away from her. She’s a bit like a butterfly who doesn’t know yet if she’s ready to leave her cocoon.

Drake: The picture presented to us of Drake here is the diamond-in-the-rough, the underdog, the one who views court and palace differently from everyone around him. He is there to remind us that this is not the charmed place we think it is, that even friends can stick knives in our backs. He speaks of the forced politeness of the nobility, the fact that he’s here only to protect Liam, that the MC is an innocent woman who doesn’t know what she is getting into and needs protection as well.

This scene comes with what was regarded as an important plot point at the time: who almost sold pictures of Liam’s bachelor party to the press? Drake and Bastien managed to get hold of them and prevent them from being published, knowing that having those printed before the social season would cast Liam in a more negative light, and make things harder for him. At this point, Drake is sure that someone he knows and possibly considers a friend is involved (close enough, but not quite there yet), but can’t yet figure out who (because, yknow, Olivia was the brains between the two, she cracked that mystery in under five minutes or something).

If you don’t buy this scene, you only get to know about the pictures in Book 2 Chapter 4. A lot of Drake’s scenes involve important plot points - some of which we won’t even hear the same way - or at all - if we don’t buy the scene (eg. the flashback scenes about Hana’s return and the Italian restaurant scene about Liam’s assassination). I recall buying quite a few of his scenes in the latter half of Book 1 and most of Book 2 just to find out stuff about other LIs.

The scene is pretty sweet - it highlights his now-famous whiskey obsession, has Drake openly show his protectiveness towards her minus the jaded sarcastic veneer, and has him warn her about the nature of this court. It has a line that I quite liked when I first saw the scene, but that fandom has pretty much ruined for me - “the moments in between”. Where he speaks of how the nobility are so busy schmoozing and being superficial that they miss the really important parts. It’s a beautiful thought, but the fact is I’m still paying like 17 diamonds to get it, which makes it a…pretty expensive moment.

But overall…it’s a nice scene. The look and feel of it is different from the other two, and so is the purpose.

• The focus of all these three scenes is clearly trust.

Liam completely trusts her opinion of him and confesses openly his desire to let go of all that is holding him back, even though he is still confused and conflicted about his own feelings.

Hana trusts her so much, that she will share piano pieces that she lovingly composed to the MC, even though she never performs for people. It is a measure of how much Hana values the MC that she will share such a secret part of herself with her.

Drake, who once came this close to calling the MC a crown chaser, now views the same woman as an innocent who doesn’t know what she is getting into. He will later tell her that that aspect of her journey reminds him of Savannah. He trusts the MC enough to give her important information about something he still views as a possible plot targeted at Liam, and tells her their moments mean something to him.

Chapter 8 of the second book took this theme forward for the initial three LIs, by showing us trust in other forms. Liam’s firm belief in his father’s dedication to his nation (which will crumble soon). Drake’s being convinced by the MC to stay on and hear out his sister, to give her a chance to explain what really happened to her, and his emotional reunion with her. Hana’s scene…was more about gaining someone’s trust - particularly Penelope’s. (it is also one of the worst scenes the series has ever given an LI, whoever wrote that one can fall on a cactus).

We are approaching a midpoint in the story, so at this point the narrative is progressing each of these relationships towards the point where they trust this woman, view her as a valuable person in their lives, and inch ever-so-slightly towards that eventual realization that they are in love with her.

•

Another point in the Tariq shoe tally!! I wonder if this ‘ghost’ deals with 'future misdeeds’ as well…

• We spend a few more days in Lythikos before we move back to the Capitol for the Royal Regatta, and both Esther and Persy are like “YOU HAD A FEW DAYS TO ASK IF I KNEW WHAT A FUCKING REGATTA WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MAXWELL”.

• So…a lot happens this chapter. The MC begins to rope in (or not) her first allies in the court, she has a strong foothold by now and is beginning to get noticed as more than just a random contender who wouldn’t last, she gains the trust of the people she is growing close to.

But most of all…Lythikos is where Olivia begins to lose the hold she once had on the court, and this is never more apparent than if you are losing supporters rather than gaining them (if you are more popular, it won’t be that apparent, since you will move far ahead of the competition). There will be times when the press may not pay attention to her, there will be ladies who club the MC and Olivia both together as “not a proper fit for becoming a queen”. She is still very much a frontrunner, she may win the Regatta if you fail all the steps to the boat race, but after this it will be harder for her to gain support whether or not the MC succeeds.

Shortly after this point, Olivia also doesn’t antagonize the MC as blatantly as she did in Lythikos, save for a snide remark to the MC (with a life jacket of all things) if you choose to go to her yacht in the next chapter. She will eventually begin to thaw towards you in Applewood.

• Constantine and Regina are conspicuous by their absence this chapter, and Constantine announces that he is stepping down the next. Which probably means he found out sometime between the Masque and this event that he was ill (since we don’t see him at the Derby). I’m headcanoning that they visited Leo around this time (optionally with the RoE MC, since the housewarming party in Newlyweds seems to happen sometime around the social season (it could be earlier or later too…but humour me 😂)

• So…Regatta in Chapter 9! Lots of sun, fun and (Persephone-willing) PLENTY of mess.

• Before I sign of, here is Persy’s Share of Mess this chapter (except for the bloodcurdling scream she gives when Olivia kisses Liam, I forgot to screenshot that 🙈 How on earth did Maxwell’s poor ears survive??):

• Until next week, folks!

–

• Tally Counts:

Number of Times Drake has Called Esther/Persy by Their First Names: 5

Number of Times Tariq Has Mentioned His Shoes: 3

Number of Times Drake Has Taken An Alcoholic Drink that’s Not Whiskey: 1

Number of Times Someone Has Called A Reigning Monarch 'Your Highness’: 2

Number of Times You Can Leave Hana Shook. SHOOK I TELLS YA: 4

Number of Times We See Penelope’s Angryface: 2

–

[dontdowhatisayandnobodygetshurt]

my lovely beautiful mother @lielith asked this, I’m sorry Tumblr freaked out and deleted all my text reply to your ask .-. I LOVE YOU THANK YOU FOR ASKING <3 <3 <3

this is going to be all the even numbers from this post, I’m putting it under the cut bc it’s a bit long XD <3

2. what does your name mean (either literally, or to you personally)

OKAY SO when I was about 8 my Mum bought me this book:

(please pardon my star blanket) and I was obsessed with it bc DOGS!!!1!!!!!!!1! and one of the characters’ names was Matthias, and I remember thinking “wow Matthias is such a cool name, I wish my name could be Matthias.” AND LIKE NEWS FLASH LITTLE-MATT, GUESS WHAT, IT IS!!!!!! :D :D :D :D :D :D <3 <3 <3 (Also it wasn’t toooooo dissimilar to my deadname, so it wasn’t much of a jump - it even means the same thing - ‘gift of God’ - even if it is terribly inaccurate if put into context with me X’D 

also yes I still have the exact book I got my name from bc :’)

4. what was the most helpful in figuring out and accepting yourself as trans?

Experimenting. Especially online since I had no fucking idea how my folks were going to react. Going by different pronouns/a different name, trying on different types of clothes, cutting my hair, trying to walk a bit different and letting myself come out of my shell a bit to act more like me rather than trying to hide everything away. Just find a safe space to experiment, and do research. Lots and lots of research. And also knowing that it’s 110% okay to change your mind about anything at any time is nice. <3

The biggest tip I would give to anybody questioning their gender and/or sexuality though is: do not come out until you are comfortable in yourself first and do not let anybody pressure you into coming out before then, even yourself. Trust me. Don’t make the same mistake I did because it will make everything a billion times harder.

6. what’s something you’re most looking forward to in your transition (or something that was your favorite part of transitioning)?

God not having to have my anxiety through the roof thinking that somebody’s gonna notice my chest. I cannot wait to get top surgery I need it so bad. I can’t remember the last time I relaxed in a public space - in any space, really. It’s just a constant thing. Also starting T at some stage and getting a deeper voice and hopefully getting rid of most of the feminine curves bc ugh on women they’re amazing but on me *insert gagging noises here*. Also hopefully having less and less dysphoria would be nice :’)

8. who was the first person you came out to (or plan to come out to)?

My former best friend/abuser. And honestly even though she was the world’s biggest abusive manipulative bitch, she did that right and supported me and made me feel very comfortable. Though looking back that may have been because she liked the idea of having a trans person as a best friend but eh, it helped me at the time so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

10. have you ever been to pride?

No, I haven’t. ://// :(((( I really really really wanted to go this year but with the big move and all that, I couldn’t. So NEXT YEAR IS THE YEAR, BABY!! :D :D <3 <3

12. what gives you the most gender euphoria?

Already answered here! <3

14. what’s your favorite trans joke or meme?

Honestly all of them but this one wins atm from sheer relateble-ness X’D

16. do you have any piercings?

Nope!! I don’t really have any plans to get any, but I’m not against the idea!! :D

18. what do you wish other people understood better about being trans?

That we’re just people. Who want to do people things like pee in a public toilet without being harassed or potentially attacked and who want to feel comfortable in our bodies.

20. what advice would you give your younger self?

“YOU’RE A BOY YOU TREMENDOUS DUMBASS!!!!!” uhh, apart from that, tell myself that A) it’s gonna be okay, and B) not to let anybody else dictate who you are, it’s your life, nobody else’s.

22. do you find yourself fitting into gender roles, or consider yourself gender non-conforming?

I mean... what are gender roles?? Most of what are considered a man’s ‘gender roles’ are just harmful toxic masculinity under a thin veneer. I like to be able to support and protect my loved ones in every way, I want to be a strong, solid presence, I like the colour blue, tattoos, very masculine clothes, rolling around in the mud, being physically strong, but then again so do many women. I also like the colour yellow, have died my hair pink, and don’t always subscribe to the ideas that many men seem to have. I don’t want to be “the head of the household” because I want my partner and I to be equal and have mutual respect for one another. What even is gender and gender roles?? 

24. any trans role models?

MY TRANS FRIENDS. <3 But otherwise, no, not really?? I don’t really trust people enough to have role models lmao.

26. what makes you most proud to be part of the trans community?

Umm...I don’t really know. Honestly, I think there’s a lot of toxicity in the trans community and I try to avoid it. :/// But I do like that we keep on getting up and raising our voices and that we don’t give up. :D

28. if you went by multiply names before deciding your current name, which was the first?

OOF I sort of always leaned toward Matthias but I thought about Chance for a while?? Until I decided that if I wanted to I could have that as my middle name. So I didn’t really debate for longer than two weeks or so. XD I also thought about Ben too lmao X’D

30. if you experience dysphoria, what do you find helps you the most?

Ugh. Just avoiding it really. I put on my baggiest clothes, burrito myself up in a blanket and try to ignore it until it fades a bit. Or focus on the things I can and will do in the future to get rid of it. But really there’s no way to help it, because you’re trapped in this body and it’s just a constant presence hanging over you. I just can’t wait till I get top surgery, that’ll help. :’)

32. which gender roles or cis beliefs do you find most ridiculous?

... All of it?? Idk man, gender is so weird. There are gay men who are absolutely 110% male who do drag and wear makeup and dresses. There’s straight women who are very masculine. Gender is only what you make it. If you feel like you’re a woman, you’re a woman no matter what you wear or what you do with your hair or if you wear makeup, same for men, and for non-binary people. Like really if you truly think about what defines gender, there’s nothing but what people make it for themselves.

As for cis beliefs, like some people don’t think a person’s trans till after they transition and get “The Surgery” like.... dudes.... why do you think the person was transitioning in the first place....??//?????//??/? XD

34. do you fit any trans stereotypes?

I mean I’m white so I certainly fit the media’s belief of what is the only type of trans person THE SHADE

I mean, I’m small and angry, so there’s that. And I do tend to have a few feminine mannerisms still I guess??? or maybe that’s just my butthead dysphoria speaking. And I also do stare at my chest for hours on end scowling and poking it sooo... X’D

[solitaryenigma]

Tag Game

Tagged by @astraxh thank you btw I feel honored. I’ll do both tag games bc I was tagged in it

1-20 Questions

Answer 20 and tag 20 people you want to know better

Name: Nate

Nicknames: Umm Nate

Gender: Male

Orientation: Straight

Nationality: Italian/Irish

Faith/Religion: meh 

Hobbies: Anime, Video Games, Comics, Dirty Things

Pets: My family has pets, I don’t personally have any

Favorite Color(s): Gray, Blue, Green

Favorite Holiday: Halloween

Books: Scott Pilgrim!!, various Manga

Movies: Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World, Animated Batman Movies, Anime Movies like Ghost in The Shell, Akira, Summer Wars, and Your Name, also the Rocky movies they’re awesome

Tv shows: Naruto, FLCL, Soul Eater, My Hero Academia, and way too many others so besides anime, Teen Titans (just Teen Titans not that GO nonsense) Avatar the Last Air Bender, Steven Universe, Freaks and Geeks, Archer, Rick and Morty

Music: A large verity mostly angsty stuff like MCR and AFI, but specifically Breaking Benjamin, Paramore, Linkin Park, Green Day, Queen, and Simple Plan

Coffee, Tea or Hot Chocolate:  Hot Chocolate but only in the winter obviously

Favorite meme: Why the fuck you lyin’, the Y Tho memes, the bad renaissance art with captions, it’s over 9000, and fucking Skyrim memes especially ones with cats as khajiit hahaha

I want to live long enough to: Be influential even if it’s just in the lives of my friends or my future children, I want to make a mark on the world and be remembered

Weird Obsessions: Taking really long showers idk if that’s weird but its something I love, Japanese Onsens (public baths) I went to a few during my study abroad to Japan and they are magical, making others feel good I think that’s becoming weird and less common in today's world

Random Fact: I never poop with a shirt on 

Goals for 2018: GET MY SHIT TOGETHER!! 

Get to know me tag

Rules: Answer 30 questions then tag 20 blogs you’d like to know better

Nickname: Nate 

Gender: Male

Zodiac: Sun Sign: Cancer Moon Sign: Leo

Height: like 5′2

Age: 23 I know I’m old

Time: as in like rn its 10:43 pm

Favorite Bands/Solo Artists: See above

Song stuck in my head: Okay it’s either Only by nicki minaj or Basket Case by Green Day nothing else

Last movie I saw: Solo

Last thing I googled: How to spell nicki minaj hahaha

Other blogs: just this one for my own enjoyment 

Do I get asks: No I wish I guess I’m not cool enough haha

Why I chose my username: Oooh so Solitary Enigma is the username I use for everything not just bc I think it’s cool but bc in HS I saw that as who I was. I guess today I still kinda do but its the idea that I am a v complex contradictory and unique human being I was mostly alone and I enjoyed my solidarity, but you can also have solidarity in a group so it could be a group of unique and perplexing individuals. So yeah there’s a lot of overthinking that went into that name hahaha

Following: Any random person’s blog that tickles my fancy one way or another, some friends I actually know but not many of the people I know use tumblr 

Average amount of sleep: When I was in school like almost none, but now that it’s summer waaaay too much

Lucky number: 4 not sure why maybe bc its nice and rounded 

What am I wearing: What is this phone sex!!? (that’s a Scott Pilgrim reference) but umm I wish I could say something hot but I’m in my pajamas pants with a white T-shirt on.. my boxer briefs are red is that sexy?

Dream job: I’ve come to realize that I want to create things and entertain people, what that actually means idk, maybe I’ll learn to draw or animate, or write stories, maybe act or do film making I’m not sure yet??

Dream trip: Ohh man lots of places I HAVE to go back to Japan, but also, Vegas, California, Toronto, Italy, Rome, just everywhere

Favorite food: uhh Pizza, Japanese Crepes 

Play an instrument: I played cello when I was in middle school I sucked and my teacher hated me hahaha, I’d love to learn Bass Guitar and the Ocarina 

Favorite song: Oh man I love Everlong by the Foo Fighters, no clue why it’s just soo mystical 

Play(ed) any sport: I tried out for a bunch of track and field stuff in HS and blew at all of it so I just worked out a lot and got pretty ripped but then I went to college and had no time to work out so that’s gone, I like Basketball and Football but as I said above I’m like 5′2 so that wasn’t going anywhere  

Hair color: Just dark brown, I never dyed it or anything  I know I’m boring sorry

Eye color: Brown again sorry boring hahaha

Describe yourself as an aesthetic: Oh gosh ummm idk how about that feeling of a cool fan on a hot summer day when you’ve been working hard and you just get that amazing breeze. Is that an aesthetic hahaha I have no idea

Random fact: I have no clue how this website works my friend made me make one like a million years ago and I got into it bc of boobs and anime so she unfollowed me bc I posted too many boobs and anime hahaha that jerk 

I tag: @alexjj1522 @majessticc @sugjesstive @eternal-adventure @radiomaru @h8rsbrunch @harrietsugarcookie @danaswanswan @suffragettequeen @mobpsycho100 @kurousagi744 @tampax-pearl

Don’t feel obligated or that I called you out I’m just following the game rules, then again that’s not 40 people so I guess I’m also breaking the game rules.. welp have fun!! and thanks for reading if you got this far you are truly a treasure 

[wonkiewolfie]

So just some things, like idk, a life update ig but make it chaotic.

First the Monsta X concert that I’ve been anticipating since 2019 and that I have front row tickets and hi-touch passes for has been postponed for A SECOND TIME and I want to scream and cry and pitch a fit. I just hope it doesn’t get moved to when I’m planning to study abroad in South Korea bc I’ll have to choose, and it’ll end up being the one I already paid for and waited two years to go to 🥲 sorry SK, wait for me.

Second Wonho’s virtual concert last night/yesterday was immaculate. I loved it so much and he made me cry. He reminded me why I stan him so hard in the first place. And apparently in 10 years Wonho and wenee are going to have two kids together, a boy and a girl. You heard that right! When asked where he sees him and his fanbase in 10 years, he pulled a Im Changkyun and said “actually we have a baby” except he said and I quote (in English and everything): “umm... we have a daughter, and a son.” *insert slow blink gif* my response was: I thought you were celibate?

Anyway third thing is I haven’t had much motivation to put into school work these past few days bc of the mx concert getting pushed back again. I know they’ll make it worth the wait, though so it’s okay. I’m gonna scream in Changkyun’s face how much I love him, jk that would be weird. I want him to like me, not think I’m a psychopath. (Alexa, play Play It Cool by Monsta X and Steve Aoki.) but I might actually cry when I see them up close bc then they’ll be REAL 😭

Also also and probably the last thing, I have been writing hella ff in my personal time but the thing is they’re WAY too long to post on tumblr. Like they’re all ranging from 10k to 25k and none of them are finished. Theres at least three of them...? So um... yeah. Those will end up going on ao3 and I’ll just post here that link whenever each one goes up. Haha

Anyway this post was a mess just like my life but it’s fine.

TLDR— I am an emotional mess who has been writing hella fanfics but can’t post them yet.

[nikatyler]

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Remind me again why I’m not doing replies regularly. I always end up with a post longer than my future.

Ooh, yeah, a new banner for replies! I didn’t like the old one because the size was wrong and tumblr turned it a little blurry. It should’ve been 540 px but the banner was 500px or something. And I was getting sick of it, too.

Anyway, yesterday was great. I drank a little too much (was that noticeable from my tweets? I think it was), but I’m okay now. I wasn’t even that sick in the morning. Basically yesterday evening was mum saying things like “Ronnie no you’ll be sick” and me replying “Ronnie yes you’re a responsible adult now”. Yeah. I’m not a responsible adult, by the way. But I didn’t get sick, bonus points for me! :D

As for my saves, I’m 100% sure where I’ll switch the queue to sims 4 again. I need to get to a very bittersweet (who am I kidding, it’s just very bitter and sad) point with Roses and then we’re ready to go. Actually, no, I’m not ready. I will never be ready. Why am I playing a legacy. Why do I have to let them go.

The queue today will be just 8 posts long because that’s all that’s left of the Christmas thing. Tomorrow we’re back to regular 9 posts a day. I don’t think I could keep 15 posts a day with school going on.

Replies now.

thepixelatedhigh replied to your post “Tagged!”

Oo i seriously had no ides you were Czech �� when I saw your nickname I was like "Verča that's Czech lmao" �� hahah its nice to see a fellow czech haha ����

Fellow czech fellow czech fellow czech *happy dance*

I don’t think I’ve seen many Czech people around here, so this makes me very happy! I should say something in our language but I literally have no idea what :D

davidmont replied to your photo “it got worse”

Teach me plz

I imagine this requires special talent not every person possesses

melien replied to your photoset “Caleb: “Hey buddy, what are you doing?” Dylan: “Mommy help?” Caleb:...”

God this never gets old                    

Almost a year later, I still find it funny. Glad I’m not the only one because that would be awkward.

daybreaksims replied to your photoset “Fred: “I have nowhere to sleep.” James: “You act like there aren’t any...”

I have a place for you to sleep, moustache trash: the junkyard!                    

I mean, there was a junkyard really close to their house, he could’ve gone there...

melien replied to your photoset “Hayley: “I’m gonna show you your room and the bathroom. I expect you...”

Just want to let you know these posts are the best thing I've seen in a while

THANK YOU

memesplayssims replied to your photo “She certainly didn’t expect this person to stand at the door.”

delete it                    

melien replied to your photoset “Fred: “Oh. Good morning.” James: “Good - you actually did it.” Fred:...”

He suddenly looks 10 years younger                    

I knooooow

teltoadstool replied to your photoset “can’t believe i’m late to my own birthday”

Happy Birthday!                    

simvim replied to your photoset “can’t believe i’m late to my own birthday”

happy birthday anyway! xD                    

memesplayssims replied to your photoset “can’t believe i’m late to my own birthday”

Hope your day was good ��

Thank you guys. As far as I remember, morning was good, afternoon not so much. I spent it by setting up a new save that is broken anyway so...:D Nah, I had fun. Thanks!

daybreaksims replied to your photoset “Aurora: look at me I’m kissing my boyfriend too”

I swear she's literally my spirit animal                    

Mine too tbh

create-a-sim replied to your photoset “Yikes your feet must be freezing.”

Now that's hardcore                    

Tyler deserves better, I make him seem like the dumb one of the family but he’s actually pretty badass.

simlishanddreams replied to your photo “Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays! ♥”

Where is James?

With her wife and children and the guy who shall not be named! I only took a picture of the main household, it would be too much if I tried to fit in like 4 more sims.

sparkiemonkey replied to your photoset “Lynn: “THIS IS TOO MUCH I TAKE IT BACK” Tyler: “mUM YOU’RE NOT DYING...”

whoa.. can a spirit be possessed by another spirit? what's really happening there? lol.                    

idk i’d blame it on the aliens as per usual

daybreaksims replied to your photo She sees everything.”

I'm more and more convinced that she truly is me

She’s your eyes in this universe

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “So, umm, alright, everyone, these are my parents, Benjamin and -”...”

OMG!!!!!

I see an interesting story coming!

I hope I didn’t disappoint you, then! I must admit, in the original plans (March/April 2017) it was supposed to be much more dramatic and stuff, but in the end I didn’t feel like doing it. Instead, I decided to go for a much calmer “what if Angel knew all along?” route. Also I didn’t want to turn Angel into a complete bitch so there’s that.

melien replied to your photoset “So, umm, alright, everyone, these are my parents, Benjamin and -”...”

Awwwwkkkksssss                    

Awkward improbable coincidences are kinda my thing

melien replied to your photoset

Miracle looks so much like mommy

She does lol

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photo “Do you think so? That’s great. It reminds me…there’s still...”

Yay!                    

cafesimming replied to your photo “Do you think so? That’s great. It reminds me…there’s still...”

YESSS                    

FINALLY

melien replied to your photo “Do you think so? That’s great. It reminds me…there’s still...”

Yesss! (and by the way, if you didn't know, there's this handy time/weather shift mod that you can use for changing the sky and time of day, it's a great thing)                    

http://modthesims.info/d/481816

WHERE HAS THIS BEEN MY WHOLE LIFE

THANK YOU

dandylion240 replied to your photo “Caleb: Does that mean…we’re not frozen in time? We’re going to grow...”

No I'm not ready!

None of us is but the show must go on

Sadly

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Fred: “Thank you for everything. I didn’t believe you would actually...”

Well actually I'm glad that he wants to become better and I hope he really will

and he looks sooo much better without freaking mustache

Honestly? The only reason why I brought him back for a couple of posts was getting rid of his mustache. And while I was there I thought, hmm, I might as well show he’s a human too and there are worse monsters. *cough* Esme *cough**

daybreaksims replied to your photo “Mio: “That’s too bad, I wanted to get to know you better.” Fred: “Did...”

In which Mio looks like an actual demon                    

Theory: Children sims in sims 3 are actual demons

They always do this for some reason and it’s creepy.

Speaking of creepy, look how much she looks like her grandfather:

sugarinesssims replied to your photo “Alecabeth the first ship this simblr saw but then roses came along and...”

they were the first couple I saw on your simblr, I missed them!

I miss them too! They deserved better. They got pushed aside because I found other things.

daybreaksims replied to your photo “Miracle: “Back to uni soon…it’ll feel like a different universe for...”

It's almost as if she knows that another save XD                    

She’s been in quite a lot of saves now! The original Twinbrook one, photoshoot save, Uni save, broken Sunset Valley save and working Sunset Valley save. Technically she’s been in more “universes” than Zoey :o

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset

Precious<33

The cutest ;-;

[incrediblysincere]

[with a fake moustache] yes hello, it is i, uh, anonymous. uh. so. that post with questions about ur gf... how about uh. all of them

1:  what color is her hair?

Brown but she sometimes dyes it red!

2:  what color are her eyes?

Brownish green and beautiful

3:  how old is she?

20!!

4:  how did you meet?

thru a skype group with friends babyeyyyy

5:  is she ticklish?

the most ticklish…. like i can flutter my eyelashes against her face and she’ll have a heart attack

6:  what’s her favorite song / band?

i dont think she has one :0

7:  what’s her favorite movie?

UMM this is a good question i know she likes star wars and muppet treasure island

8:  what’s her favorite book?

also a good question she has told me about a lot uhhh... i dont know i think shes like me and has read so many books she cant pick a favourite

9:  what’s her favorite tv show?

star trek or osomatsu-san maybe

10:  who is her celebrity crush?

me… just kidding i dont know probably every pretty woman (mood)

11:  does she have any pets? Are there any pets she wants? 

she has 2 cats!! she probabyl wants… more cats

12:  what’s a song that reminds you of her?

like a shit-ton my dude, i have a whole playlist of them. she keeps me warm is a lesbian classic though

13:  does she play any sports?

sports? in this economy? (no shes gay)

14:  what are your favorite things about her (physically) ?

um shes fuckin stunning?? she has really soft hair and skin thats like, almost translucent in places (that isnt a roast babe i love it) and adorable freckles and big doe eyes and the shape of her lips and the way she looks when shes wears glasses and her hands are small in a perfectly holdable way and her stomach and thighs have just a bit of fat so theyre soft and beautiful and shes so lovely and pretty and i love it  

15:  what are your favorite things about her (personality wise) ? 

shes so funny, she has a great sense of humour and makes me laugh and she’s really generous, she helps people whenever she can and shes kind and so optimistic and even in the darkest moments she can find humour… shes passionate about what she loves and shares that with other people, and she’s stubborn and tough and creative and beautiful inside and out and i love her so fucking much

16:  how does she dress?

very gay… she lives in ireland so lots of coats and jackets naturally, wears her beanie a lot, and of course hoodies (and she has a tank top im fucking gay for)… dare i say icon?

17:  what was your first date (ideal first date if she’s just a crush)

i mean we are long distance so our first technical date would have been when i first went to ireland? i guess the first or second day when she showed me around her town and we got breakfast

18:  what’s a tiny detail about her that she doesn’t realize you’ve noticed?

well i think she knows i know the irish-isms she uses (like, grand) i don’t know if she knows ive noticed the shape of her lips… i mean its something i tend to notice but its so delicate, and good and beautiful, and kissable

19:  what are her talents?

art?? she’s so good at art and always has unique ideas about character design, the same with writing, she’s such a good writer and i love the way she writes characters and describes things and she’s great

20:  write a tiny poem about her

when the sky is changing colours for you

it’s dark for me

but i don’t worry because even on this side of the world

you are in my thoughts

keeping them golden

(this sucks oops)

21:  Does she have a tumblr?

ya its @galioverkill go follow her

22:  what type of things make her laugh?

uh me, hopefully?? no she likes weird humour, mcelroys, and the like.

23:  what’s her star sign? Are you compatible according to astrology? 

shes leo and uhh

“As two fire signs, one of them fixed and one of them mutable, Leo and Sagittarius share a warm love for each other. When they start dating, their sexual relationship might come as a surprise for both of them, for they will feel liberated to be exactly who they are with each other.“

nice

24:  what’s some place she’s always wanted to travel?

i kno she wants to go to california and probably will and maybe i will be able to join her !!

25:  what’s something she’s super interested in? 

Dungeons and Dragons!! We are in a campaign togethre and its rly fun

26:  when did you realize you loved her?

oh man... our 2 year anniversary was about a month ago so it had to be about 2 years ago. i cant say exactly when but i know just the fact that she made me so happy and made me laugh... it was probably in dec/january of 2015/16 ish

27:  what’s her favorite food?

she really likes rare steak withe pepper sauce and actually she got me into eating steak lol...

28:  what’s a food she hates?

wine... sorry babe

29:  what’s her hogwarts house?

iirc ravenclaw but she thinks shes a slytherin

30:  is she more Earth, water, air, or fire?

she makes me think of fire mostly!!! but also some earth

31:  what’s something that makes her angry?

homophobes, uhhhh her dad sometimes i think... the usual kinds of things but she doesnt get angry often!!

32:  is she taller or shorter than you?

taller... by like 1 inch

34:  what’s her name

Gali (im not gonna drop her real name here)  

35:  what’s her aesthetic?

cracking fires, warm houses in the snow, cozy blankets, hot cocoa, holding hands, pale skin, cats, snowflakes on eyelashes, warmth.

36:  what’s the first present you bought her/ plan on buying for her

im trying to remember... it was probably either a pokemon plushie or a video game... (first thing she bought me was undertale before we were dating and o boy i was gay)

37:  is she an early bird or a night owl?

night owl (GO TO SLEEP)

38:  what about her do you brag the most about?

probably how cute she is... becuase... shes really cute

39:  is there any accessories she always wears/ brings with her?

she always wears her tree necklace and the half of a heart necklace i gave her and in winter her beanie

40:  is she a vegetarian?

see the “favourite food” question... (no.)

41:  what’s her favorite subject in school?

i dont know if she had one in school but in college it was probably her uhhhh... digital... something... sorry babe i forget but i know there was one you liked?

42:  what highschool cliche does she fit best (think that scene in mean girls) ?

nerd... listen. its true

43:  how long have you been dating/ crushing 

over 2 years!!

44:  describe her laugh 

adorable??? giggly?? its best when u tickle her

45:  does she wear makeup?

no lol (mood) we’re both lazy gnc thots

46:  what’s her favorite art medium? 

ummm she likes doing digital art and looking at it also... she really likes music too 

47:  does she play any instruments?

shes played the ukulele before and also she can sing (she has a beautiful voice)

48:  what animal does she identify most with?

i kno she really likes corvids like ravens and crows... idk if tehres one she specifically identifies aside from cats maybe 

49:  does she like camping (or the outdoors in general)

i dunno :0 i dont think she goes camping often ... wait... the Germany story... she used to be in the girl scouts so maybe yes

50:  post her picture if you have her permission

here she is resting on my shoulder when she was over here

finally finished this for valentines day... love you so much !!

[thedootlez]

Tattoos, piercings, and bands 😊

Ok so tumblr never told me this ask was in my inbox and I just totally missed it??? 

I’M SO SORRY I NEVER ANSWERED THIS I LITERALLY JUST SAW IT!!

Anyway. I believe this is in reference to the aesthetic asks post I reblogged a bit ago. ^-^

how do you feel about tattoos and piercings? explain.

I love tattoos and piercings! I have two tattoos (left arm and the back of my neck) and I def want more. My personal tattoo rule is 3 years of wanting the tattoo and only getting esteemed artists to do them. If its going to be on my body forever, I need to know that I want it and I want it to look like a piece of art. So, it’s worth the higher price. I like to have them designed in a way that accentuates/decorates my body rather than just “being there”, you know?Tattoos on others are badass and tattoos on the person I have feelings for are H O T (but not mandatory ^-^. David has one and is planning on a forearm tattoo that Im so psyched about)

I’m also really fond of piercings. I had my rook pierced for a few years until it got infected and closed up. It was so cool man, I miss it. ;-;

I probably won’t ever get piercings besides on my ear though. I have a weird fear of them getting ripped out or getting caught on something. On others though, big fan! I think they’re awesome. 

Of course both with tattoos and piercings, I find moderation to be the most attractive, but thats just my personal preference. 

do you wear a lot of makeup? why/why not?Umm, I’m not sure tbh. Lol I guess medium makeup? My daily look is just concealer, eyebrows, winged liner, and mascara. Sometimes I’ll do some liquid lipstick or some strobing but that’s not all the time. I’m totally not afraid to go natural, though. (my snapchat followers are well acquainted with me without makeup lol). I like my face, I just prefer it with dark winged liner ^-^

My bare minimum no matter what is shaping my eyebrows. (Because I’m a natural blonde, I look crazy if I don’t do my brows xD)When I’m filming, I go full face because my super bright ring light completely washes me out. Primer, foundation, concealer, contour/highlight, blush. talk about a song/band/lyric that has affected your life in some way.

Ok so at first, I was like…idk? Then I thought about it and now I’ve written too much about like 5 songs…so…yeah…sorry about my gushing. I got carried away. ^-^

Could have been me - the strutsThis entire song is the anthem of why I make the life choices I make. I could easily be in a 9-5 job, married to my high school boyfriend, with a minivan and a white fence, but even since I was a kid, the idea of wasting my life in a cube and diving my kids to soccer practice made me want to vomit. My life is a mess, I don’t have a great living situation, and I’m struggling financially, but I’m living my life, being my best self, and I’m pursuing a dream. 

Fools who dream - La La LandOk, I can’t listen to this song without crying. I just can’t. The whole thing from start to finish paints the emotional roller coaster I’ve been on since I moved to new york city in 2008 with a dream. Yeah, the dream has changed since then, but now I know. I know what I’m meant to do, who I’m meant to be, and it means that I struggle and chase a dream that sometimes feels impossible. Because of my crazy dream, I’ve had experiences and have met people I never would have had I stayed in Georgia suburbia. So particularly “Smiling through it, she said she’d do it again.” breaks me.

When - DodieI know dodie reflects on the past a lot, but I have the opposite problem. I’m never in the moment because I’m always dreaming and longing for a future where I’m happy. I always feel like I’m chasing happiness that’s so close to my grasp that my fingers brush it, only to have it pulled away again. So when I heard the lyric “It’ll be over and I’ll still be asking when.” I legit cried. I’m longing for a “one day” happiness that I don’t have while overlooking beautiful moments right in front of me that are passing me by. 

Unforgettable - Nat King ColeNot the song I danced to at my wedding (though that one also has many feels that I won’t get into. It’s sailboats by brooke fraser btw) but it is the one danced to in the kitchen; when my life was a bit more peaceful. Many of my favorite moments of my marriage with David consist of barefoot slow dancing in the kitchen of our old apartment with David quietly singing this song in my ear. 

“Unforgettable in every way…And forever more, that’s how you’ll stayThat’s why, darling, it’s incredibleThat someone so unforgettableThinks that I am unforgettable too”

You have me - GungorThis is a simple song, but it always pulls me back. It’s simply appreciating the idea that if there is a God, He’s there loving and crying with me even when I feel He’s not. The chorus is simply a declaration, no matter what: “You have my heart completely.” Which singing this to anyone, is an incredibly sweet idea. I like the intimacy of it as compared to literally every other Jesus bop I have the misfortune of suffering though. One time though, I was singing along and I don’t know…I felt an overwhelming notion that God was singing it back. “You have my heart completely” and I just broke down. Now whenever I sing it, it’s like we’re singing it together and I’ve never felt so whole in my life. David has a lot to do with helping me through my hard times, but God is number 1 every single time. 

[wellimhavinga3outof10day]

All right, so @thislifeisawasteland tagged me to answer a bunch of questions that are actually an ask meme, but w/e. (There are kind of Riverdale spoilers in this post? I’m bitter, sue me.) Here we go:

Full name: I’m not really gonna tell you that, so settle for Jessica

Zodiac sign: Taurus

3 Fears: Death, spiders... that I’ll never fall in love?

3 things I love: Chocolate, green tea, & my laptop

4 turns ons: Humour, kindness, bad pick-up lines, goofy smiles

4 turns offs: Racism, homophobia, an annoying voice, a terrible smell in general?

My best friend: Like all of them

Sexual orientation: Bi

My best first date: I’ve only had one first date, so walking around the mall

How tall am I: 5'8"

What do I miss: My friends, knowing Jughead was safe and happy smh

What time was I born: 9:04 a.m.

Favourite colour: Red

Do I have a crush: Not unless we’re counting fictional characters

Favourite quote: *gross sobbing* “It’s like my home.” Nah, I’m kidding, I don’t really have a fave quote

Favourite place: My library

Favourite food: Chocolate

Do I use sarcasm: No, never...

What am I listening to right now: "Leave” by Jojo (lmao, idk why)

First thing I notice in new person: Their hair, tbh

Shoe size: 6 1/2 (yes, I have tiny fucking feet)

Eye colour: Blue

Hair colour: Brown/blonde

Favourite style of clothing: Casual, comfy

Ever done a prank call? Yes and omg worst experience of my life, almost had a panic attack, never again

What colour of underwear I’m wearing now? Pink

Meaning behind my URL: It’s a line from White Collar

Favourite movie: He’s Just Not That Into You (it’s on Netflix now, I’m so excited!!), also Pretty in Pink

Favourite song: Atm, “Prom Queen” by Molly Kate Kestner

Favourite band: ??? idk man

How I feel right now: Pretty good

Someone I love: Jughead Jones (honestly, fight me)

My current relationship status: Single af

My relationship with my parents: It’s good

Favourite holiday: Christmas

Tattoos and piercings? My ears are pierced and I have no tattoos

Tattoos and piercing i want: I kinda want a sternum piercing, and a rose vine tattoo up my side

The reason I joined Tumblr: I was filling out my social media quota before I went to uni

Do I and my last ex hate each other? Well, I didn’t think so but then she made me answer all these questions, so? It’s up in the air ;)

Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night” texts? Nah, never (unless you count my mom checking to see if I’m awake when I’m home alone)

Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? Nope

When did I last hold hands? ...? Fairly recently probably, I hold my mom’s hand all the time.

How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? 20 minutes, maybe?

Have I shaved your legs in the past three days? Nope

Where am I right now? At my desk

If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? N/A, never been that drunk

Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? Reasonable (pretty quiet actually if you ask other people)

Do I live with my Mom and Dad? Yup

Am I excited for anything? Jughead to be loved and cared for and warm and safe, for the love of god.

Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? All right, well “can” and “would” are different words, so technically yes, but I wouldn’t?

How often do I wear a fake smile? Rarely

When was the last time I hugged someone? Last night?

What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? Eh, might bug me a little, but you go girl. (I mean, as long as it’s not an old man.)

Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? I don’t think so?

What is something I disliked about today? Today just started, buddy. Umm... for some reason my hands are really sweaty? I hate that?

If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? Atm, the cast of Riverdale, but that’ll change in like a month if not a day.

What do I think about most? Probably w/e I’m writing atm.

What’s my strangest talent? ...? I don’t have very minute talents, idk what to tell you. I’m very talented at drinking too much green tea and procrastinating things I actually want to do.

Do I have any strange phobias? Mustard

Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? Behind, probs.

What was the last lie I told? ...? I lie a lot, idk. I probs lied on here. Kidding, don’t think I have. Umm... I honeslty have no idea. It’s anyone’s guess.

Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? Both are horrible and probably the worst forms of communication, but I’m gonna go with the phone b/c I have an unnecessary grudge against Skype.

Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? Maybe? and yes.

Do I believe in magic? Little magic, sure.

Do I believe in luck? To an extent.

What’s the weather like right now? Sunny, average temp

What was the last book I’ve read? I’m in the middle of Crooked Kingdom right now, but the last book I finished was I’ll Give You The Sun

Do I like the smell of gasoline? Yes

Do I have any nicknames? Yes: Jess, Jessie

What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? I broke my wrist by getting knocked down a hill and landing on concrete.

Do I spend money or save it? Save it.

Can I touch my nose with a tongue? Nope

Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me? Yeah, more things than I expected too, tbh.

Favourite animal? Pigs

What was I doing last night at 12 AM? Talking to Rachael on Tumblr/watching Misfits

What do I think is Satan’s last name is? Claus (yes, I know it said Satan not Santa, but it’s a conspiracy)

What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? I Don’t Wanna Be Sad by Simple Plan

How can you win my heart? Be nice and funny and care about me (honestly giving a shit about me is really all I need, my standards are fucking low as shit)

What would I want to be written on my tombstone? Idk but something kind of weird and maybe a quote I like?

What is my favourite word: Feral

My top 5 blogs on tumblr: Ugh, I don’t want to do this.

If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? “I love you, take care of yourselves.”

Do I have any relatives in jail? I don’t think so...

I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? Flight

What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? Umm... lots of things, I’m sure.

What is my current desktop picture? It’s a city that Natasha made for a class and it’s super pretty and green.

Had sex? Nope

Bought condoms? Yes, actually

Gotten pregnant? Nope

Failed a class? Nope

Kissed a boy? Nope

Kissed a girl? Yup

Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? Nope

Had a job? Yes

Left the house without my wallet? All the time

Bullied someone on the internet? I don’t think so, I hope not

Had sex in public? Nope

Played on a sports team? Yes

Smoked weed? No

Did drugs? No

Smoked cigarettes? No

Drank alcohol? Yes

Am I a vegetarian/vegan? No

Been overweight? No

Been underweight? No

Been to a wedding? Yes

Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? Yes

Watched TV for 5 hours straight? Yes

Been outside my home country? Yes

Gotten my heart broken? Eh, probably not

Been to a professional sports game? Yes

Broken a bone? Yes

Cut myself? No

Been to prom? Graduation in Canada, but yes

Been in airplane? Yes

Fly by helicopter? No

What concerts have I been to? So I went to like three in a row a few years ago: One Direction, Marianas Trench and... shit, I thought there were three... it might have been two... oh! Shawn Mendes! (And I’m listening to him right now and I forgot that, lmao)

Had a crush on someone of the same sex? Yes

Learned another language? Kinda

Wore make up? Nope

Lost my virginity before I was 18? Nope

Had oral sex? Nope

Dyed my hair? Yes

Voted in a presidential election? Federal election yes, I’m Canadian

Rode in an ambulance? Nope

Had a surgery? Nope

Met someone famous? Nope

Stalked someone on a social network? I don’t think so

Peed outside? Nope

Been fishing? I have.

Helped with charity? Nope

Been rejected by a crush? Yes

Broken a mirror? Nope

What do I want for my birthday? *laughs* Umm... not a clue. 

How many kids do I want and what will be their names? 4: Marcia, Whit, Eli, & Beth

Was I named after anyone? My middle name is my Oma’s middle name too, but my first name’s not from anywhere

Do I like my handwriting? I used to b/c it was literally flawless when I was younger, but now it’s like a mess, so no.

What was my favourite toy as a child? Should I even remember this? Barbies, probably.

Favourite Tv Show? Atm, Riverdale

Where do I want to live when older? Not a clue. Probably Toronto or Vancouver? Maybe somewhere in Europe. Who knows?

Play any musical instrument? I used to play guitar but I probably can’t remember any of it.

One of my scars, how did I get it? Idk if I have any scars, man. There’s like kind of a scar by my elbow? But how I got it is a mystery.

Favourite pizza toping? Green peppers

Am I afraid of the dark? Nope

Am I afraid of heights? Nope

Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? No, I don’t think so. (I once was caught squirting water in a guy’s face? But he kind of deserved it.)

Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? I don’t think so...?

What I’m really bad at: Figuring out my life

What my greatest achievements are: I once predicted the end of a book, does that count? And my highest post here is almost at five thousand notes?

The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me: "I love you, but sometimes I just don’t like you.” (Honestly, I deserved it, but it was savage af.)

What I’d do if I won in a lottery: Buy a house, buy a lot of fandom merch, invest a bunch... 

What do I like about myself: I’m pretty laidback, I know what I want for the most part, and I try to be a good person.

My closest Tumblr friend: Not this again.

Something I fantasise about my ex: (lmao my first instinct was to put “dying” and that’s not true, my babe, I’m sorry) Honestly? Just having sex, like nothing fancy.

[qa98]

I was tagged by @amen-diares. thanks btw. I'll be as open as I can with my answers.

1. Why did you choose your URL?

Basically, I just got it from shortening my ao3 username (quirkyalone98) hence QA and the 98 is my birth year. Not the most creative, I know hahahaha.

2. Any side blogs?

Nah. I'll stick to this one.

3. How long have you been on Tumblr?

I think I've made this account last year (for viewing ship content lol). But it's just last month that I started using it more. I knew of Tumblr (I mean who doesn't?) but I basically stuck to Twitter all these years. I dunno, just thought if I were to make a Tumblr, I should have some og content to post 😂

4. Do you have a queue tag?

None

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?

The recent RE8 release. I clicked on links that redirected me to Tumblr. And then I liked what I saw and thought I wanted to share mine too I guess. Also, I thought I needed another app to scroll through aside from Twitter and Reddit.

6. Why did you choose your icon or PFP?

I'm a fan of the Castlevania Netflix series and obviously because I have a crush on Carmilla. I mean hot powerful vampire lady YES PLEASE!

7. Why did you choose your header?

"Not today men" is my daily mood.

8. What’s your post with the most notes?

A rough sketch of Lady D x OC

9. How many mutuals do you have?

4

10. How many followers do you have?

Tumblr says 35

11. How many people do you follow?

umm many? not sure. I've basically followed #s cause I plan on following accounts based on them in the future.

12. Have you ever made a shitpost?

Nah

13. How often do you use Tumblr?

I at least scroll through it at least once a day whenever I wanna take a break from school.

14. Have you ever had a fight with another blog?

Nah

15. How do you feel about “You Need to Reblog” posts?

I do what I want? But I will make sure to reblog content I think people need to see more (art/stories/humor/wtf moments/etc).

16. Do you like tag games?

Sure? Though I'll participate depending on my mood, the questions, or if I have time to answer all of them.

17. Do you like ask games?

Same answer with Q16

18. Which of your mutuals do you think is Tumblr famous?

IDK??

19. Do you have a crush on a Tumblr mutual?

None

I’m gonna tag: @tu-sugar-mami, @irumanoceda, @sapphic-idiot to continue this! No pressure btw just for fun(?) and if you're bored lol.

[themoskabot]

Tagged!

I was tagged by @kwamimusings​ and @powerdragonmoon​

Rules: Answer the 20 questions and tag 20 amazing followers you’d like to get to know better!

Name: Moriah

Nicknames: I have way too many to remember right now, but the main one is Moskabot

Zodiac Sign: Cancer

Height: idek anymore…..

Orientation: I guess

Ethnicity: White. 

Favorite Fruit: Strawberries, if they’re from the farmers market (those are the best things everrrrr)

Favorite Season: Winter, but fall is a close second.

Favorite Book: The Hobbit, but like….i love so many books? 

Favorite Flower: Umm….I don’t know, but my back yard is FILLED with a bunch of cherry and apple blossoms in the spring, and i love it so…..cherry and apple blossoms i guess? if those count

Favorite Scent: Petrichor 

Favorite animals: Cats, hedgehogs….i like looking at dogs, but being around them freaks me out

Coffee, Tea, or Hot Cocoa: D) all of the above

Cat or Dog Person: Cat

Favorite Fictional Character: How the frick do you expect me to answer that…..

Dream Trip: Almost anywhere, i just really wanna travel

Blog Created: A little over 2 years ago

Number of Followers: 388

What I Post About: Eh, nothing specific. Whatever i want.

Do I get asks on a regular basis: Nah

Aesthetic: https://pear-cat.tumblr.com/ <everything on that blog

Hogwarts House: My siblings tell me I’m a Hufflepuff, so I’ll go with that

kwamimusings got tagged in two different things, and combined them into one. I couldnt decide which one to do, so heres the second one as well.

Rules: Write 92 rules about yourself, then tag 25 people. 

LAST ___:

Drink: Water Phone Call: Idk, probably my dad Text message: My sister Song you listened to: First Day Of My Life by Bright Eyes Time you cried: Last night, while listening to the new bright sessions episode

HAVE YOU EVER ____: Dated someone twice: Never dated Been cheated on: Never dated Kissed someone and then regretted it: Never kissed someone Lost someone special: Yeah Been depressed: Oh boy, yes Gotten drunk and thrown up: Never tasted alchohol 

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS: Green, Grayish-purple, anything pastel

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU _____: Made new friends: On tumblr, yes. But i have basically no social life outside of the internet. Fallen out of love: Never been in love

Laughed until you cried: Yeah, probably

Found out someone was talking about you: Umm…i dont think so Met someone who changed you: So many Found out who your true friends are: im confused…. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: No, tht would be weird

GENERAL: How many Facebook friends do you know in real life: All of them Do you have any pets: My hedgehog, Toast Do you want to change your name: Nah im ok with what i got What did you do for your last birthday: Just a normal birthday dinner i think. i usually just have my family all together for dinner (never had a birthday party0 What time did you wake up: About 12pm i think? What were you doing at midnight last night: Animating

Name something you cannot wait for: Fancy art school When was the last time you saw your mother: I’m looking at her right now, she’s just across the room. What is something you wish you could change about your life: ….most of it What are you listening to right now: Bob’s Burgers is playing in a different tab Have you ever talked to a person named tom: Yeah Something that is getting on your nerves:  I dont have a place i can draw alone, comfortably Most visited website: Tumblr. Elementary: Homeschooled High school: Homeschooled College: [redacted] Hair color: Naturally like a brownish color, but it is currently blue Long or short hair: Quite long Do you have a crush on someone: on a real person? no, not that i am aware of. on a fictional character? yes, many. What do you like about yourself:  I….umm…..i guess im a hard worker? im not terrible at singing, or drawing/painting either haha Piercings: Yep Blood type:  type O (just kidding, i dont actually know, i just wanted to make a movie reference) Nickname: as previously mentioned, i have many, but the main one right now is Moskabot (or Moska…) Relationship status: Single Zodiac sign: Cancer Pronouns: She/Her Favorite TV show: i….i love so many….dont make me choose Tattoos: Not currently, but who knows what the future holds? Right or left hand: Right

FIRST ____: Surgery: Never had one Piercing: My ears Best friend: All of them Sport: I dont particularly like sports, but im pretty good at badminton. id also really love to do ice skating. (and after watching haikyuu, i kinda wanna try out volleyball….) Vacation: I dont believe ive ever been on one….. Pair of trainers: ??idk??

RIGHT NOW ___: Eating: just finished some tacos Drinking: water About to: either write or draw, we’ll see what i feel like Listening to: bob’s burgers Waiting for: My motivation to arrive Want: dessert, a hug, a roadtrip with friends…. Get married: im joke engaged, but i dont plan on getting married anytime soon Career: hopefully a concept artist for video games

WHICH IS BETTER ____: Hugs or kisses: Hugs Lips or eyes: Eyes Shorter or taller: idk Older or younger: idk Nice arms or nice stomach: idk Sensitive or loud: Sensitive Hook up or relationship: Relationship Troublemaker or hesitant: both, but it depends on the situation and who im with

HAVE YOU EVER ____: Kissed a stranger: Nope Drank hard liquor: nope Lost glasses/contact lenses: Yeah, those were the most panicky mornings of my life Turned someone down: never had anyone to turn down haha

Sex on first date: ….no

Broken someone’s heart: not that i know of? Had your own heart broken: probably Been arrested: Nope Cried when someone died: Yes. Fallen for a friend: nah, i dont think so

DO YOU BELIEVE IN ____: Yourself: no not really Miracles: ummm, yeah Love at first sight: not really  Santa Claus: Nope. Kiss on the first date: i wouldnt, but if someone else does, whatever Angels: Ye

OTHER ____: Current best friend’s name: [insert all my tumblr friends here] Eye color: Blue. Movie: i have always loved the lotr trilogy, they hold a very special place in my heart

oh boy ok umm i tag

@kaethemonster @because-katiedid @misskatiegirl @sia-draws @mirasumbra @vibesvaldez @firewolfi @dreamer-day @mayallthebaconburn @thequeenoftacotuesday @johnpeter-remember-thesnowman (if you were tagged and dont wanna do it, just ignore this)

ok i cant think of anyone else who hasnt already been tagged, so if you wanna do it, just say i tagged you