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starsreminisce · 1 year

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Sjm laid the personality groundwork for Elain perfectly, she doesn't have to retcon anything to make Elriel plausible.

"you don't think he deserves to be with someone whom the cauldron deemed his equal"

He deserves to be with who he loves and has feelings for. And how are you so sure that Elain isn't his equal when we haven't seen the full force of her powers yet?

Lastly, the stark contrast of emotions between "I'm getting her back" and "we trained them well, Cassian. Trust in that. It's all we can do." Makes it clear that gwyn is not Azriel's mate.

Ah, yes, the classic Elriel comeback: "How can I be so sure?"

Elain doesn't like violence, has shown no interest in spying or being a fighter, needs sunshine and, his shadows tend to disappear when she's around.

Perfect match.

If Azriel truly loves Elain as much as some claim, why didn't he express that to Rhys when he asked about Mor? Why did he avoid the question altogether?

Cassian, Feyre, and Rhys all seem to understand that Azriel won't move on unless he lets go of Mor.

I expected Azriel to fight for Elain's affection, even against his High Lord. I expected him to speak more passionately than just playing the "I'm the third brother, why not me" card. He should have conveyed that he and Elain are better suited for each other, emphasizing her preference for him over her own mate. He should have declared his love for her and challenged Rhys's perspective. He should have called Rhys's bluff on any potential demotion.

After their meeting, I expected Azriel to seek her out, explain himself, and offer a proper apology with the kiss he had promised her. He should have kept the necklace, intending to give it to her when the time was right.

At the very least, he should have addressed her by her name rather than continuing to refer to her as "the third sister," especially if his love for Elain runs as deep as you suggest.

But wait, silly me, because the bonus chapter isn't truly canonical for Elriels, at least not the part where he's with Gwyn.

So, I anticipated that Cassian and Nesta would drop more hints about Elain and Azriel's undeniable connection.

I would have expected them to question why Azriel couldn't seem to stay away from her, why he chose to move to the river house, why he danced with her so frequently during the Hewn City solstice, and why he remained by her side throughout the river house solstice. I wondered why Azriel didn't offer comfort to Nesta regarding Elain's desire to assist her if they were confiding in each other. And why did Azriel maintain such intense eye contact with Elain and look at her with longing?

However, none of these details were present in the story so far, were they?

And, of course, some Elriels can't help but interpret Az's efforts to get Elain back, while not pursuing Gwyn, as "proof" of their ship, even though it's what solidifies Gwynriel for me.

This is what Azriel did when he rescued Gwyn the first time:

He closed his eyes, as if reeling his rage back into himself. “I heard that Mor had brought one in. Azriel was the one who made it out there first, and he killed any of the Hybern soldiers left, by that point …”

Azriel slaughtered all of them within moments. He didn’t hesitate. But I could barely move, and when I tried to get up … He gave me his cloak and wrapped me in it. Morrigan arrived a few minutes later, and then Rhysand appeared, and it became clear some of the soldiers had gotten away with the piece of the Cauldron, so Azriel headed after them.

THAT IS MATE BEHAVIOR. Azriel typically leaves a couple for interrogation, especially when it's part of his job.

Azriel's trust in Gwyn's abilities during the Blood Rite, even though it posed a higher risk to her life compared to allowing Elain to search for the trove, strongly resembles mate-like behavior.

Kinda sorta like Rhys trusting Feyre to go into Spring Court? or hold out her own against the weaver?

After all, show me a mated pair who wouldn't permit their female counterpart to pursue something they desired, and who would openly express their disagreement to their face.

Lastly, I will leave you with this:

And I wondered if love was too weak a word for what he felt, what he’d done for me. For what I felt for him.

I've read every argument for Elriel to understand the pairing. And I just don't because there is a very solid counterargument that you're just not accepting.

Az's bonus chapter was the final nail to that coffin.

Enjoy your ship. Stop trying to convince me that it'll happen because only SJM would.

And if you don't like Elucien and Gwynriel because it's "same old wash rinse repeat" then that's you having a problem with SJM's writing and favored tropes.

#gwyn x azriel #pro gywnriel #gwynriel #antielriel #antie/riel #cauldron gasped when Az said what if she was wrong and will take it personal #Gwyn and Az's story is going to be the cutest friends-to-lovers story #where both of them try to deny it because they feel the other isn't ready for it or isn't interested in it

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lost-girl-2021 · 1 year

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Maybe you could describe Quaritch's pov of seeing Spider for the first time after so many years?

Warning: I’m terrible at writing POV’s from parents. Like, the closest I’ve come to a parental experience is when I was a babysitter (and that did not last long). So, I’ve done my best. Also, since it’s from his POV, I’m calling him Miles instead of Quaritch, since it’s his first name.

Miles Junior— or did he just go by Miles? MJ? Junior? —was more of a goal than a person over the years. He’d been so fucking tiny when he’d gone to prison.

It had been over a decade since he’d seen the boy. The first thing he wanted to do when he got out was go find him. And then, he’d find that bastard Sully and get payback for the years he’d spent locked up. He hadn’t really made a decision on how to do it— make an anonymous report to CPS? Maybe he’d find a way to make his wife think he was cheating? He couldn’t do anything too risky, but he’d fully intended on getting revenge for all the time he’d missed out on.

But, Junior came first. He’d done all the tedious work— parenting classes, a steady paycheck. The apartment he’d gotten in the city was looked over what felt like a half-dozen times. But, he’d done it all. He’d gotten a job as soon as he was out, working with half of his old squad as overglorified mall cops for this big company called the RDA. The pay was good, even if wasn’t allowed a weapon and most of it involved driving around scientists and vans full of equipment. It took an entire year, but his restrictions dropped the longer he was out of prison and every day felt like a step closer to Junior.

The day he finally got to see the kid? He was a fucking wreck. Sweaty, white-knuckling the steering wheel the whole drive over. He lived with a foster family right outside the city. The neighborhood was nice, but the house itself was plain. The grass overgrown, flowers dried out. Neglected. Miles kept drifting back to the tiny apartment Paz and him had in the city. All of it was boxed up and collecting dust in a storage locker, like it had been for years. And his kid had moved on without any of it.

He was trying to shake his nerves as he waited outside the door, taking in a deep breath. Miles, Miles, Miles— the kid was all he could think about. And then—

Jake fucking Sully stood in the doorway. Miles wanted to scream, to tackle him. He wanted to punch his way inside, see what the fuck was going on. Some kind of set up?

But, no, because halfway hidden behind a couch, there he was. Blond hair messier and longer than Miles had ever let his own grow, darker than it was when he was a baby. He was tiny— maybe it was the baggy clothes or the sheer amount of hair that made him seem so small.

Miles had been preparing for this day for years.

And then, as soon as he saw his kid?

He couldn’t even move. It was . . . it was indescribable. He could barely believe that this— this teenager was his baby. Miles had been staring at a picture of one-year-old Miles Junior (perfect, light curls, cheeks chubby and red) for over a decade.

His eyes were the same. Wide and brown and filled with curiosity.

His boy. His son.

#atwow #miles quaritch #miles spider socorro #atwow fanfiction #days into decades

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parmaviolets · 11 months

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shut up im literally obsessed with ur fnaf au. can you explain everything about it?? (characters added, their roles, etc?) i love it so mych im gobbling it up nom nom nom

hii thank you. infodump time teehee

The AU is kind of set during the events of FNAF 2, but I've shuffled things around so it's a sequel and also it takes place in Massachusetts circa 2004.

more under the cut because augh. Many thoughts

Mike has recently gotten married to his coworker, Eugene, who is for all intents and purposes a regular accountant type guy except for being a weird freak (compliment) and ALSO more relevantly, been promoted to day guard. This means they're going to need a new nightguard, and that ends up being Jeremy, who recently moved back to his hometown (Fazbear Capital of the World) from where he was living in Vermont.

Jeremy has a girlfriend, which he talks about all the time but Mike does not fucking believe she's real until she threatens him with a knife for bullying Her Guy. Her name is Nadia Knox! She's a scene girl who works at a hardware store, loves blasting MCR in her car, carries a ridiculous amount of things in her bag, likes making copies of people's house keys without them knowing, tracing cell phones, shoplifting, etc. normal girl hobbies basically

She and Jeremy have kind of a beard relationship going on because like. Jeremy is very aromantic and she's bi but really looking for serious relationships right now. But they pass really easily as a couple because they genuinely do really like each other as friends and have a lot of affection for each other.

Charlotte "Chucky" Emily is another gal that works at the pizzeria, mostly in repair and maintenance of the animatronics and equipment. She grew up with Michael mostly so they've got a silly kind of sibling relationship going on, but besides that she doesn't really.. have friends. She was homeschooled by her father, Henry, and finds herself a little socially inept so she kinda keeps to herself.

Chucky was partially raised by William Afton too, but when she was younger he had a bad falling out with Henry and she didn't really see him for like. 10 years after that. but Will always somehow got little gifts to her- toolboxes, books, taxidermied mice. Normal things that the estranged business partner of your father would send you, as far as she knew. Because she doesn't go outside enough to know that's fucking Weird.

Henry is kind of silly. He gives off the vibes like he was a looney tunes character that escaped Disneyland and now he's stuck in a slasher and doesn't know it. He and William were good friends back in the day! Also had some subtextual homoeroticism. When Will left to manage Afton Robotics, Henry took over full ownership of Freddy's.

Into the plot deets, Jeremy was actually intended to be one of the victims of the original Missing Children's Incident, but he got a tummy ache and went home before he could get Murdered. Following that, his mother thought "this city sucks, I'm going to Vermont" and took him with her. Now that he's 21 and definitely needs to move out of his mother's house, he decided to go back to Brockton (mistake #1) and work at Freddy's (mistake #2) because it was the only place that was gonna hire him hashtag job market in shambles.

ogh okay I need to get ready for work now see u

#asks #fnaf au #parmaverse

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chronicallypainful · 3 months

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My recent antidepressant adventures

Before I go any further, let me be really clear about one thing. This is my personal experience with anti-depressants. It is not a typical experience at all. Antidepressants can be life-changing (in a positive way) and even life-saving for some people. I'm going to express a lot of frustration with what these drugs did to me, how they were studied, and how I was informed about their possible risks. This is not intended to deter anyone else from taking these medications if it makes sense after a conversation with your doctor about the risks and benefits for you.

Some history. I actually started taking my first antidepressant before my pain disorder was even diagnosed. My GP hadn't been able to give me a proper diagnosis for my pain but suggested that Cymbalta might still help. It did help somewhat, and I stayed on it for several years. A couple years later, after I've gotten a proper diagnosis, the rheumatologist who diagnosed me suggested trying Savella instead of Cymbalta for my pain. I had significant headaches and dizziness while trying to transition from one drug to another, and my doctor and I made the decision to discontinue that transition and return to Cymbalta.

Fast forward about four years and I'm a graduate student. My anxiety has gotten really bad and started to seriously interfere with my studies, which is finally enough to motivate me to see a psychiatrist. After trying a few other things, this doctor concluded that I was having an unusual side effect of SNRI's where they can actually make anxiety worse. So he had me taper to zoloft, an SSRI. The side effects were again terrible. For about two weeks I laid on the floor of my apartment and tried not to move because any movement made me extremely dizzy. I picked the floor rather than my bed because the stability of the floor minimized my dizziness. Even shifting position in bed made me feel like I was spinning around or swinging in a hammock. Within a couple days of reducing my Zoloft, though, my anxiety improved considerably. That improvement and anxiety gave me the motivation to wait it out. It was a couple months before I was fully back to normal, but the worst of the dizziness and other symptoms improved within three weeks.

And now we are reaching close to the present. I've been struggling with anxiety quite a bit for the past several years, though I have been quite successful at blaming it on external (and hopefully temporary) factors: COVID-19, moving to a new city, starting a new job, having difficulty obtaining disability accommodations at that job. Well, this past January, I made the decision, together with my therapist, that I should see a specialist about medication management and hopefully see if a change in medication could help me. To say that that has backfired would be a massive understatement.

I found a physicians assistant in psychiatry who I genuinely do like. I had my first appointment with her in late January. I shared with her my prior experiences changing antidepressant medication and how many side effects I've had and how severe those side effects have been. She promised me that we would use a very slow taper, and also assured me that she would support me with FMLA paperwork if I needed to take time off of work due to side effects. She recommended that I try lexapro, wrote me a prescription and a tapering schedule, and sent me on my way.

Somehow, this time was worse. Within two days of starting the taper, I was dizzy, had frequent headaches, couldn't sleep through the night, had frequent mood swings, and was having alternating diarrhea and constipation. Based on my experience switching from Cymbalta to Zoloft, I assumed these symptoms should resolve within three or four weeks. They did not.

I spoke with my provider at the three week mark. She told me that she was surprised I was having such severe side effects but that she thought they would go away once I was stable on a constant dose of Lexapro.

So I stuck it out. I had to work from home because I couldn't safely drive. I couldn't take my dog on walks because I was scared he might pull me off balance leading to me falling. Instead of taking my dog on walks, I took my hiking sticks for extra balance. My exercise was limited to just walking because, again, I couldn't drive. I struggled with social isolation.

After a five week taper, I was on a constant dose of Lexapro. I was still having the same set of side effects. There were day to day variations in severity but no trend towards improvement. I spoke with my doctor again and she encouraged me to give Lexapro a full four weeks for everything to stabilize. I did. It didn't get better.

At this point, I've been dealing with substantial additional impairment for a full two months. I haven't driven in two months. My ability to exercise and manage my pain disorder has been significantly limited. I have been socially isolated, making my anxiety worse. I want to be done and this is what I tell my provider. She agrees to a rapid two week taper off of Lexapro. Unfortunately, eliminating the symptoms would not be so easy.

During the two week taper, my symptoms are very similar to what they have been. I'm still dizzy. I'm still having G.I. symptoms. I'm still having mood swings.

I took my last dose of Lexapro on April 8. A couple days later, the symptoms got much worse. My dizziness got substantially more severe. I no longer felt safe taking a walk, even with my walking sticks. I felt like I had a fever, complete with the chills and the alternating sensations of feeling hot and cold. My sleep is a total mess, and I'm waking up more than a dozen times each night, eventually lying in bed tossing and turning for hours. I'm crying uncontrollably about everything and nothing. I started experiencing a lot of muscle tightness especially in my shoulders and upper back, and this leads to severe pain.

Up to this point, I had been continuing to work full-time from home. After this new wave of even more intense withdrawal symptoms, even I had to admit that I couldn't do it anymore. I've reached out to HR and medical provider and coordinated medical leave. I ended up being fully off work for three weeks, and then I worked part time for another month after that.

Through the months of April and May, most of my symptoms did resolve. By the time I reached June, I was only left with the muscle tightness (And accompanying pain) and the dizziness. And it's honestly hard to tell where the line is between medication withdrawal causing tight muscles and fibromyalgia simply perpetuating tight muscles. But the dizziness has been extremely stubborn. It has slowly improved since mid April, but I am still dizzy as I sit here today writing this post in late July.

As I sit here today, it has been 3 1/2 months since my last dose of an antidepressant. And yet I am still dizzy. As I sit here today, I don't feel it is safe for me to drive after about 2 PM (the severity of my dizziness is related to time of day). As I sit here today, I am still socially isolated by my inability to drive in the evenings. As I sit here today, my pain management options are limited, again by my inability to drive. As I sit here today, I don't have a good explanation for why I am still dizzy 3 1/2 months after discontinuing my antidepressant.

At risk of stating the obvious, this is not what I signed up for. I knew I had had bad reactions to changing antidepressant medications in the past. I knew that I might have severe symptoms for several weeks. But I never dreamed that it would be several months. And I never guessed that those several months were turning into half a year.

I am angry, pissed off, livid. I'm also scared. While my dizziness does seem to still be very slowly improving, I'm scared that it won't resolve. I'm scared that it will become one more chronic issue that I have to manage. I'm scared this is another manifestation of central sensitization and that, now that I've had the sensitizing experience, I won't ever be able to fully recover due to my broken nervous system. A lot of that is probably my anxiety disorder talking. But my brain isn't pulling these things from thin air. The last time I had a medical issue which lasted multiple months and for which I could not get a clear explanation doing those many months, well, I ended up with my chronic pain disorder.

#personal updates #antidepressants #mental health #chronic illness #spoonie

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piracytheorist · 1 year

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Okay I gotta admit it, I logged in today just to check my notifications and messages because I was curious. Seems like cold turkey isn't something I can do, but I feel like I've found things to occupy the time I'm not spending on tumblr anymore, so I feel distancing myself from the site is possible. Not having the app on my phone anymore helps.

Anyway, I took a quick look on twitter today, and while I didn't see any sxf spoilers, I did see a post about a thematic week that I won't be able to take part in, not even as an audience, because it will be centered around stuff I haven't seen yet.

And damn me, I want to read further into the story so bad. It's been almost six full months since the last episode aired, and I'm finding myself wondering what is happening next based on the vague spoilers I've gotten. And there's at least three and a half more months left. I just know, I know it, that I will enjoy the story three times as much seeing it animated - and like, if I'm truly honest, my main drawback from manga reading isn't that it's not animated, or acted, or even coloured. It's that my way of reading it is not how it's intended to be read. Like, if I could have the chapters printed out for me, that would be ideal. Like:

Reading the story like this? Feeling the pages in my hands, seeing the wide and two-page panels in all their glory? Terrific. Perfect. 10/10.

Reading it like this? Having to scroll up and down for long panels, zoom in for small speech bubbles and out for wide panels, pixels getting distorted based on how zoomed in I am? No, thank you, immersion go bye bye. If I had a vertical monitor I probably could have worked it out, but I don't have a vertical monitor nor can I afford one right now.

And you'll tell me, well, a lot of further chapters are available in the next volumes. And I'll say, I'll probably work only for half of July, my contract ends after that, and in August I may need to move out to a different city so I won't even be able to get a steady job that won't work me to the bone. And I'm on a tight budget, so even the forty euros (being generous here, cause volume 10 isn't easily available to me yet so 10 euros for it is a generous offer) I would spend on the next four volumes are money I cannot afford right now. Plus, I know they don't reach to the current chapters so I would still have a ton of spoilers to avoid.

I don't know why I'm explaining all this lmao. I just feel like I don't want people to think I'm an anime snob. Because by god with every week I feel my resolve break. If I actually make it to October without having read one single manga chapter it will be a miracle. It's such a weird challenge I'm putting myself through, I don't even know if y'all can understand it. It's not like it's a challenge I can "win", or a challenge I can award myself for passing. Maybe a bit of venting can help, idk. It's not like I'm asking for recognition or pity or something, I am aware of how weird my choice may seem. I just had some feelings and thought, "well, fuck, what do I have my tumblr blog for".

Idk. I just feel like I love this story so much and in such a way that I also want to properly enjoy it. If I lived in Japan and spoke the language, you know I'd be running to whatever stores sell the magazine where the new chapters are posted in every two weeks and sit outside the very store and read the new chapter before even getting back home (wait, are individual chapters even printed out in Shonen Jump? I'm not sure I've understood the whole thing completely). But since that isn't happening, my choices are a) waiting for a long time and not interacting with fans, but enjoying the story animated, with colour, voice acting, soundtrack and on wide screen (and yeah yeah it's an adaptation not the original but listen it's a good adaptation and this is why it's drawn me in) and b) getting the full story and interacting with fans now but seeing the story in broken-down panels and messed up pixels, while having to fix the zoom-in and -out on every page. And I know me. I know choice a will make me immersed in the story, while choice b will just give me the details of the story. Maybe I am a snob after all, idk. I'm not making any effort to explain or apologize for myself. I'm just venting, lol. It's been weird and lonely and IT'S BEEN TOO LONG AND OCTOBER IS TOO FAR AWAY T_T

Anyway. Been doing good other than that. I will probably revert to logging out every day in order to try and keep my distance from the site, but coming back every other day or so. We'll see. I have a few messages to respond to (and a few more spoiler-free manga panels to react to! yay!) so I'll get to those today.

#nette speaks #wow that was a vent lol

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spacevulpix · 5 months

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this got so much longer than i originally intended so i'm putting a cut here

the way that being emotionally abused will make you doubt that people are being genuine towards you when they're nice is insane. i helped out my family at my grandma's house today getting it cleaned up to go up for sale and two of my aunts went out of their way to thank me for coming and one even pointed out that i was the only grandkid (and considering grandma had 7 kids there are a lot of us) who came to help. i have this unconscious voice in the back of my mind that still sometimes forces me to view the world and my place in it through my abuser's lens - that i am a burden to others and if they're being nice to me it's only because they pity me for being such a horrible embarrassment of a person who creates problems for them all just by existing.

but the thing is they were right - i was the only grandkid who came to help. one of my aunts lives 15 minutes from grandma's house and her son who's my age chose to stay home while his parents came to help. several of my other cousins live a short train ride away in the city. i've been the only grandkid involved in the whole process, i was there when we picked the options for the service, i was there when we hashed out the next moves for settling the estate, i took the initiative to come to the house on my own one day to look through and pick out what mementos i wanted to keep, i helped the day we moved all the excess furniture onto the curb. i was the only one.

when my eldest aunt rested her hand on my shoulders to let me know she was coming through the doorway behind me and let it rest there until she'd asked and gotten an answer to her question, it was like i could feel the love flowing from her hand into me. i'm very selective about who's allowed to touch me and her touch made me feel all melty the same way it feels when someone runs their fingers through my hair. another aunt asked about my new job, and the status of my student loan payments. the last opened up a bit about how my cousin could be struggling with his mental health, or perhaps he's just okay with not showering all that often.

i've spent so much time recently on drama subreddits an r/amitheasshole and keep exposing myself to a harmful confirmation bias that intimate relationships, familial or otherwise, are significantly fraught with one-sided harmful or entitled behavior and reaffirming the fear in my mind that i won't be able to accomplish the happy family i want for myself in the future because there will always be some major flaw so great in magnitude that the only way to overcome it is to cut that part of your life out completely. that i will inevitably end up with a selfish partner who doesn't truly understand me and puts more importance on my bending for their comfort than their's for mine. that if i do have kids, the mental health genes running on my mother's side will result in a child who treats me (or their sibling if i ever get over the fear of having more than one as though my being born was what caused my sibling to abuse me) the same way my sibling did.

i got past this all once before, when i first left home and went to college. it's poetic in a certain sense that this time i'm doing the work to get past it again at home. i sort of operated on the assumption that if i was ever open about the fact that i'm no contact with my sibling, my extended family would pick them over me and i'd have to be cut out of the entire family. that everything my abuser said about me is true, i'm overemotional, too dramatic, think everything revolves around me, and to cope with that i minimized myself over and over to try and fly below the radar, but it was never enough. even when i didn't interact with them at all they accused me of thinking i was better than them.

and then here were my aunts, with nothing to gain from showering me with compliments, no pressure on them to maintain someone else's worldview, praising me anyway. just for packing up the kitchen and keeping my uncle busy (he's been kind of a pain, understandable since he lived with grandma for 10 years before she passed and now he suddenly has to move out) so they could all focus on cleaning whatever areas of the house had already been emptied.

basically what i'm trying to take away from this, seeing as i've had a lot of negativity dumped on me in the past year due to the cesspool of a job i left plus my own brain fighting against being happy, is that it should be as easy to take the positive comments, even easier than taking the negative. that people aren't only genuine when they're being mean to me.

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peninkwrites · 8 months

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Lines Drawn in Sand & Concrete - Ch 12 of ?

Eryn is a double agent. He thinks he might've fucked up.

[CW: c!dream and referenced violence]

crossposted to ao3

Ch 1

Ch 11

Ch 13

Mafia AU

~ Eryn ~

TW0 DAYS UNTIL THE GRAND OPENING OF LAS NEVADAS…

Eryn is good at his job. He sees everything, and people rarely see him. Even with the big scar going up his arm, people don’t remember him often. He and Tommy as kids would try to stop being invisible, until they realized they had a better shot at getting food if they stayed that way. Tommy still wanted to be loud. Eryn doesn’t know how he survives like that, but he has. They’ve learned to survive in different ways now. Eryn left on a ship for a year and he changed. Tommy stayed in the city and he stayed the same. What Tommy does is so small. He gets by, barely, but Eryn didn’t want that for a future. He had to move on. Tommy never wanted to move on. That’s why Eryn is now running with the Badlands, and Tommy is still picking pockets on Riverside.

The Badlands is nothing like being a part of a ship crew, which had been what he was looking for when he returned, but it’s something. There are people looking out for him now, people who can actually help him. He’s not even doing anything particularly dangerous, and it’s enough work he can afford a studio. Largely because his landlord is part of the Badlands as well, but he’s still paying some rent.

Eryn gave Tommy some shit for not joining up with the Badlands, and Tommy gave him plenty of shit for selling out to the mob. Which, honestly was preferable to Tommy insistently warning him he’d get himself killed. Eryn went to see him anyway. He kept going to the Secret City on his off nights and even then, even when he was seen, he was still listening and watching.

He had never really been jealous of Tubbo. Tubbo already had mob affiliations to dampen his relationship with Tommy, so it felt more like they were on even ground. He doesn’t know who the fuck this Wilbur guy thinks he is, but his presence Eryn finds a bit more grating.

Still, Tommy had asked him to come to the Secret City, and Eryn would oblige. Even for a social call, Eryn never stops listening. His ears perk up when just underneath Tommy’s loud greeting, he snatches a bit of conversation.

“–you and the old Crow- Father have a falling out?”

“Maybe keep your voice down, Jack–”

“And what the fuck have you been up to?! Still workin’ with the devil?” Tommy jeers lightly, and Eryn’s focus snaps back to him.

“Yeah,” Eryn laughs dryly. “You still working for no one and nothing?”

“With pride, Eryn. With pride.” Tommy has his arm around him, dragging him back to the booth. “Someone I want you to meet,” he says as an aside, before more loudly, “Wil! This is my old pal, Eryn!” Tommy’s genuine enthusiasm introducing him warms Eryn a bit. They’ve changed in a lot of ways, but as long as Tommy is still happy to have him there, Eryn will make his peace with it.

“Alright?”

“Alright. Good to… meet you properly,” Eryn deigns to be civil. He has found himself irritated often enough with how delighted Tommy seemed to be with the guy, but he would be the bigger person or whatever. “I’ve seen you play a bit. You’re not half bad with that guitar.”

“Thanks.” Wilbur gives him a curious look that Eryn can’t quite read.

“Eryn, come on, join us, join us,” Tommy slips back into the booth, Eryn letting himself get dragged along with him.

“I was… I was actually here to see Niki, so, I might move to the bar,” Jack Manifold, who Eryn knows has been an object of Tommy’s torments for a long while now, originally Tommy and Eryn’s torments back when Eryn was still crashing in the hotel, and he clearly intended to flee those torments now. Tommy and Wilbur don’t let him, and Eryn is content to sit back and watch.

The banter continues, Wilbur joining in on teasing Jack, and Eryn notes the two clearly share a history.

“I simply don’t understand how you’ve gotten so many people to put up with you! Like, Eryn, Wil, Ranboo, and Tubbo too for like a million years!” Jack ruins the mood with shocking speed, biting back against Tommy’s teasing perhaps too hard.

Tommy tenses, turning quieter now, Eryn isn’t used to Tommy ever being serious about things. “You’re a real dick, Jack, d’you know that?”

Jack’s guilt is obvious. “Look, man, I didn’t… I mean–”

“You’ve done it, Jack, you’ve lost me. Not in love with you anymore!” Tommy pulls Eryn out of the booth, loud and mocking, but clearly masking real resentment.

Eryn allows Tommy to drag him out of the speakeasy, even as he wished he could listen in just a bit more on whatever this mysterious Wilbur might let slip about his past, but it’s clear Tommy has other things on his mind.

“You alright?” Eryn asks carefully as they return to darkened streets.

“Me? I’m great! You know me, strongest man alive,” Tommy tries for a grin, and it would probably seem genuine to someone who hadn’t known Tommy since he was six.

Eryn gives him a look, doubtful. “Come on, mate, let’s just… come back to my flat with me. I bet I’ve got food somewhere.”

“You don’t know if you have food? Oh, look at you, Eryn, you’re fucking sixteen and you’ve got your own flat and so much food, you don’t even know what you’ve got! Is the pantry stocked with caviar or have you run out? Shall you have the butler fetch you some more?” Tommy says, tone mockingly posh.

“Shut up,” Eryn poorly buries a laugh, pushing Tommy lightly. “Better bet is stale pizza or like, a can of tomato soup or something.”

Tommy is still grinning, this time more genuinely. “I could go for some stale pizza. I wanna see what shithole you’ve managed to get yourself! Can you believe all this past year I’ve never been over to yours?”

“Well, you didn't really feel like coming considering how I got the money for it.”

Once more Tommy falters at this. He shrugs. “I mean, you’re a Badlander, but it’s not like you’re off killing people, now, is it? From what you’ve told me, you’re just like a little mole creepin’ around corners sniffin’ out the hot gos’ to share with the boss, eh?”

Eryn rolls his eyes. “Yeah, something like that.”

“It’s different, though,” Tommy says more firmly, as if to solidify some notion in his mind.

Eryn hesitates, before deigning to push just a little. “Different to… to Tubbo, maybe?”

Tommy scowls. “Yeah, maybe,” he says bitterly, clearly intending to shut the conversation down then and there.

“Look, man, if something’s going on, you can tell me–”

“Nothing is going on!” Tommy says, whiny. “Fucking hell, Eryn, give a man a break, will you? What about you? Hm? Got any troubles at work you want to share?” He says pointedly.

“You know I can’t tell you that but, for the record, no.”

Tommy hesitates, clearly warring between something. “Look, I’m serious, man, are you okay?” Tommy says, something fierce in his voice that Eryn isn’t used to.

“Am I… Yeah, Tom. I’m fine,” Eryn says, surprised.

Tommy scans his face, reading for sincerity. “You’re not… you’re not getting into more trouble than you can handle? The Badlands, they’re protecting you and all that shit, right?”

“Yeah.”

Tommy debates over believing him, eyebrows furrowed. “You know there’s a guy out here hurting people he thinks are wronguns, don’t you?”

“Yeah. Yeah, actually, the Badlands are looking for him.”

“So, you’re not… you’re not fucking around at night? Staying out a bunch doin’ crime things after dark?”

“No, Tommy,” Eryn says, amused. “Most of my work involves listening to people, and I can’t really do that if there’s no people to listen to.”

“Okay, okay good,” Tommy nods, still clearly ill at ease, but he doesn’t push it. He continues sarcastically, “this better be some good fucking stale pizza.”

“Is there such thing?”

“Shut the fuck up and show me where we’re going.”

Eryn does not work exclusively for the Badlands, although they are his primary employer. Eryn is not one to close himself off to business opportunities elsewhere. One of those he doesn’t exactly find agreeable, but the pay is good. Some dickhead cop named Dream.

Eryn meets him in an alleyway in the middle of nowhere on the East side. The cop approaches in street clothes and with a slight limp. Eryn has no reason to comment on it, not really, but he’s curious.

“You’re limping.”

Dream poorly buries a flicker of annoyance. “Occupational hazard, what of it?”

“Nothing,” Eryn shrugs. He’s glad Dream chose an alleyway without a dead end. The guy pays well and never seems inclined to do him any harm, but something about him is just off enough Eryn would prefer there’s a way for him to book it if needed.

“Do you have anything else on Las Nevadas?” Dream doesn’t waste time on greetings.

“On Las Nevadas?” Eryn scoffs. “Nah, nah other than that bit about Captain Warden, I don’t have anything.”

“He’s not the Captain anymore,” Dream snaps.

“Right, Sam Warden, whatever,” Eryn raises his hands passively, accustomed to Dream’s bitching.

“So what do you have for me, then?”

“Not a lot, if I’m honest,” Eryn shrugs. “No news on what’s going on with Schlatt’s old crew. And like, not to say nothing’s going on at Las Nevadas, the place seems shady as fuck, but other than… well, them maybe having the old boss hostage somewhere, and that’s… up for debate, really.”

Dream laughs at this. “Right, sure. So, you’re useless.”

“You’re the one who wanted to meet, man, I dunno what to tell you,” Eryn rolls his eyes.

“What about the Badlands? Are they moving in on Las Nevadas?”

“Hey, I don’t fuck with the Badlands. You know that’s off limits,” Eryn says warningly.

“Hm,” Dream considers this carefully, leaning against the wall of the alley to take some weight off his leg. He’s always so calculating, something Eryn can’t help but respect about him. “But they are still thinking Las Nevadas is responsible for the kidnapping?”

“Yeah. Right now, that’s their… main lead,” Eryn says carefully.

“I’m not trying to get anything out of you, just, from what the police department has found, that’s not a bad idea,” Dream shrugs.

“What is it you’ve found, exactly?”

“Look, you can’t talk about Badlands, I can’t talk about police evidence, I’m already sharing too much by confirming their suspicions.”

Eryn takes this in carefully. Bad and Ant had intended to stay out of Las Nevadas business for now, but Eryn has a feeling they’ll reconsider at the slightest provocation. He doesn’t know if Dream’s offhanded comment is enough to go on, though. Dubious respect or not, he trusts the guy about as far as he can spit.

“Right, fine. Look, I told you I didn’t have anything. I think I should be the one to call our next meeting when it’s actually worthwhile,” Eryn says pointedly.

Dream scowls. “Don’t keep me waiting too long, alright?”

“Hey, I don’t control the flow of information, man, sometimes I hear things, sometimes I don’t,” Eryn says aloofly.

Dream takes one step forward. Eryn takes one step back. “Then listen closely, alright?” He hisses. “The work I do is actually important, unlike whatever squabbling in the dirt your other employers get up to. Maybe it’s a lot for me to expect a street rat to grow a conscience, but I still expect better.”

Eryn knows better than to pick a fight with a short-fused pig, so he just nods. “You got it, Captain. I’ll listen harder.”

Dream nods curtly. “Next time you got something, call the office and say you’re… I dunno, calling about having me come in to speak at a troubled youth event or some bullshit like that.”

“And that’ll get them to transfer me to your office?” Eryn says skeptically.

“Yeah, if I let them,” Dream says irritably. “Again, don’t take forever.” Dream turns to leave the way he had come.

“Oy! I don’t do this as charity work!” Eryn calls indignantly after him.

“Why the fuck would I pay you for wasting my time?!” Dream snaps over his shoulder.

“You wanted to–” Eryn stops his complaints, knowing it’s useless. He has a far better employer to meet with anyway.

Eryn is still debating the merits of sharing Dream’s all but useless input when he arrives at the Slaughterhouse. Bad wanted to meet with everyone to discuss the very thing Eryn might now know something about. In the middle of the warehouse amidst broken down machinery and concerningly fresh blood circling the drain, Bad, Ant, Punz, and an intimidating lady named Hannah have gathered. Captain Puffy is, unusually, absent from the proceedings. The Badlands having recently attacked her son is likely a contributing factor.

Bad isn’t worse, exactly; this many months in he no longer finds new lows, but he certainly isn’t better. Eryn feels like he’s interrupted something, entering slowly, uneasy at how serious the circle gathered is, but Ant nods him in.

“Er, hey, Boss,” Eryn bounces back on his heels nervously.

“Eryn,” Bad gives him a nod.

Punz continues. “...so I’ll be at Las Nevadas. I don’t know where he’ll have me, but I’ll at least be there opening night, if something goes down.”

“We have reason to think Quackity isn’t involved,” Bad offers weakly.

“He was happy to help Schlatt manage hostages. I’d know ‘cause I was muscle at some of the… heavier exchanges,” Punz winces. “Not something I’d say I’m proud of nowadays, but Quackity clearly was part of it of his own free will.”

Hannah frowns. “O-kay, if it’s something you’re not proud of now, who’s to say he’s still like that?”

“His issues with Schlatt don’t mean he’s omitted from guilt,” Ant adds, albeit reluctantly. “And… our reasons for thinking it isn’t him are… they’re not airtight,” Ant gives Bad an apologetic glance. “Even if the guy in the mask isn’t literally Quackity, who’s to say he doesn’t have a hired gun running around for him?” Another glance at Punz.

Puffy’s absence is felt. Eryn feels the pauses where she should be offering input, but they merely move on. Eryn wonders how that went down, what Puffy might’ve done when she found out her old friends had knocked her son unconscious and held a gun to his back.

Ant continues uneasily. “We can’t pretend it wouldn’t make sense for him to threaten his biggest rival right when he takes over.”

“But he didn’t take over, you said some kid did, right?” Hannah interjects.

“You guys really believe that? That he handed off all that power to a teenager?” Punz cuts in.

“I might know… something,” Eryn speaks up and at first he thinks he’s so quiet no one hears him. He’s been listening to their debate, but his focus has been more so on Bad, who has remained quiet and desolate for too long. Eryn doesn’t know how he’s going to explain himself, but he doesn’t give a shit about this Quackity person, and if there’s even a chance it will help the Badlands, well. Eryn feels like he at least owes them the effort of trying.

Quiet falls, most of the company just surprised by Eryn speaking up at all, the kid more known for his listening. Bad looks up. “Yeah, Eryn? What’s that?” Despite his grief and grievances, Bad always sounds so kind when he talks to him.

“Um, this is like, word of mouth, I don’t have a… a sure source, but… apparently, someone at the police station thinks… that Las Nevadas might have something to do with… all this.” Eryn says carefully. He doesn’t know how to explain the police knowing about Skeppy being missing, and he knows they’ll soon be asking for specifics he doesn’t know how to give.

“All this?” Hannah asks doubtfully.

“Er, the… the Skeppy thing. Maybe the serial killer thing too, I dunno. The... masked man.”

Punz frowns, “why would the police know about Skeppy being missing in the first place?”

Ant grimaces. “Sapnap. I told him when I saw him.”

Eryn feels a flicker of relief at an explanation being given. He trusts the Badlands, maybe more than he should, but even if they wouldn’t kill him for also working for the enemy, they certainly wouldn’t let him stay in the Badlands anymore. They hadn’t even asked him what his source was, they barely questioned it. Eryn doesn’t know what to do with the fact that they trust him.

“Right,” Punz sighs irritably. “So, I’m guessing you do want me to be at Las Nevadas, then?”

Bad is clearly lost in thought, factoring in what Eryn had said. “Even if you’re hired for security, Quackity knows you’re with us, he won’t let you near anything important.”

“Hannah, could you get into the opening somehow?” Ant asks.

“Maybe,” Hannah shrugs, “that doesn’t mean I’d be able to get anything useful. I’m not that kind of mole. If you need me to assassinate anyone or make some coffee, I’m your gal.”

Ant immediately turns to their best set of ears. “Eryn-?”

“Ant, they’re not going to let a teenage boy into a casino,” Bad says tiredly.

“Right,” Ant huffs.

“And I would say we could ask Foolish, but, well,” Bad at least looks slightly embarrassed for the harm caused.

“What about Ponk?” Ant offers.

“Ponk doesn’t work for us anymore–”

“That was before their pig boyfriend screwed them over,” Ant points out. “They might not be set on staying out of organized crime anymore, especially considering Sam is working for Quackity now. I know for a fact they’ll already be there with Eret and Foolish.”

“Still, I don’t know if they’d be willing to take risks for us,” Bad says.

“Not take risks, just tell us if they hear or see anything. All we’d be asking of them is a phonecall.”

Bad seems to come around to the idea. “Hannah, I’d still like you to be there if possible. You too, Punz. If it comes down to a fight, Ponk won’t be of much help, so I’d like to have some guns already in the building if we need to be there.”

“Got it,” Hannah nods. “Dunno about the guns part, though. Like, you really think Quackity won’t have metal detectors?”

“If I need to, I can get you weapons while inside,” Punz offers. “Not a ton, though.”

“Better than nothing. If worst comes to worst, Ant and I will arrive guns blazing anyway,” Bad shrugs, before turning back to Eryn. “Thank you for that, Eryn. We’ll… we’ll see if it goes anywhere,” Bad gives him what should have been an appraising smile, but Bad looks so tired nowadays, so sad and broken down, Eryn just feels worried. He can only hope he didn’t just fuck this up for everyone.

“I mean, if we’re sharing updates, I… I do have something from Puffy,” Hannah says slowly.

“From Puffy? Puffy is still talking to you?” Ant sounds surprised.

“Yeah, it helps I wasn’t the one to knock her kid unconscious,” Hannah says pointedly. “Her flock, they shot the guy in the mask.”

The quiet falls heavier, Bad leaning against the rusted track of a conveyor belt, dark eyes staring in fixated dread at the bloodied drain at his feet. “They… they shot him.”

“Clipped him, just barely in the leg, but yes,” Hannah nods.

“So… some of Puffy’s flock stumbled into our local serial killer. Lucky her,” Ant says dryly, calculating. “And they almost got him.”

At that word, at almost, Bad shuts his eyes, taking a deep, trembling breath.

Eryn feels a sharp dread deep in his stomach. They clipped him in the leg. Eryn thinks of Dream’s limp. It could be a coincidence. Why the fuck would a cop be a serial killer? They get away with killing just fine on the job.

“Bad, our patrols are on the lookout for him 24/7, we’re gonna find him again,” Ant tries to reassure him.

“Except once this sick monster realizes that half the patrols aren’t Puffy’s flock and are instead Badlands, you do realize what he’ll do, don’t you?” Bad says icily.

“I mean, if he hasn’t killed him so far… like, do we really think this guy hasn’t noticed the Badlands is still in operation?” Hannah says skeptically. “I know we know the guy isn’t all talk, he’s killed before, but he clearly realizes Skeppy is the only leverage he has, and he’ll hold onto that indefinitely. I doubt there’s a situation where he’d kill him, not if he hasn’t so far. Hurt, however…”

“Thank you, for that, Hannah,” Bad says stiffly, but he seems to genuinely mean it, at least the reassurance about Skeppy staying alive. Hannah has been absent from the Badlands for a time, maybe doing some covert work Eryn is not privy to, but since her return she’s taken the new, desperate Badlands in stride.

Eryn is only half paying attention now, weighing the pros and cons of confessing to helping a cop in front of some of the biggest players in organized crime in the city. What are the odds? You tell them, they never trust you again, and some random asshole cop dies, not helping anyone. Two people in a whole city can have leg injuries. Maybe the truth of it, the one that Eryn is currently keeping buried, is he’s afraid of what it will mean if the man he’s been undeniably assisting is the same one killing people with wild abandon, and far more importantly, the man who had kidnapped Skeppy.

#my writing #mafia au

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esoteriamaya · 8 months

Text

WHO AM I? - Learning To Appreciate Myself, & Honoring My Goodness.

I've been growing in different avenues and for the longest time I've been having to sit with myself. I think this is the closest I've gotten to understand adulthood in many of its forms and its the process of sitting with your emotions even when all you wanna do is run away.

I guess you've got it. I've grown up. I feel it.. But then, I dont? I feel as though I have a lot of playfulness in me, but I feel the seriousness taking up space. I can acknowledge that I haven't been doing my job, and have lost myself along the way.. Because I've been who I am, I'm wondering if I could be another. I'm holding myself hostage, I feel it. I can't lie, there is so much I want to be but I've put a mask on myself so that others couldn't perceive the real me.. Only to still be perceived by false perception.

Misunderstood is code word for, I dont care to understand this person, so I'm just going to label them how I see them, how I value them and so on so forth. So I never go out my way to call myself deeply misunderstood, even though I can be.. Thats not the life I wish to see for myself.

I've been wanting to runaway. Not emotionally, just physically. Like get out of town. Move away. That's all I've been wanting. I held on to my family and friends because I didn't want to lose them, or have them miss out on my growth but then.. Chaos had came through my life and I feel now its best to just get away, and I feel it necessary to grow apart.

I mean.. I'm sure they'll miss me, of course.. But there is no way I can grow in this town I live in. Atlanta is not what it use to be, & I'm tired of feeling alone in this. I want to get away.

I've tried to go out and flow, but the flow here is chaotic and triumphing from the damage that has been done on to me and others is a story board full of discussion.

Even the LGBTQ+ scene isn't enough for me, which was the only reason I really stayed put in the city. I love my city, I do.. but.. I've got a feeling I've grown enough to accept that I must be aligned with my truest feelings and this one takes the cake.

As I'm learning to appreciate adulthood, I'm learning to accept my past truths. I was alone, tired, scared, and adulting was not my favorite thing. I mean, I didn't care. I just wanted to enjoy it. I wasn't enjoying life, so I focused on the partying and drinking. And FUNNY enough, I took part of it even when I told myself I wouldn't. I put myself in spaces having the belief I would be okay, and when it did not happen that way... I failed... distanced myself from people and got out of their business.

Just went away into my little closet, holding on to the meat costumes before they'd be skin and bone. I didn't wanna be alone in it but I felt it best that way.

And then there it was, I opened up a can of worms.

My rage, my power, my worth, it all started to make sense.

I opened up to my darkness and realized how much of me I had left unnoticed. While I was running away from my problems because of depression, I learned why that depression was there. I wasn't having fun. I wasn't loving life. I was too serious. I called it imposter syndrome. It was killing me from the inside. I had to find myself multiple times and realized I wasn't lost... I just didn't want to be the human God intended me to be. And my heart could feel it, I just didnt know it at the time.

I was fighting 'demons' that were fears of my worth. Fears from my past lives, my exhaustion was tied to the world and the need to be in this patriarchal society. Im done. Its over with, man. And learning to accept my pain in all of it, made things full circle. I had to start all over, another thing in adulthood that isn't everyones favorite. But its starting to become mine.

What I'm learning now, is that I can appreciate why I was running. I'm still going back and forth with me on if I'm truly 'nonbinary' or not, and what that even means for a woman like me. What does it mean to like woman and to want to be in the closet knowing pleasure is around the corner. And what am I even doing? What was the point of it? For the male gaze? Idk.

But for once in my life, I'm getting the hang of appreciating my inner self / inner child instead of forcing her inside the house never letting her see the sunshine on a beautiful day.

I got it all figured out... not. But that's the beauty of it all.

#blog #mydiary #kindness #thoughts #woman things #blogging #blogger #adulthood #adulting #lgbt #expressing myself #the art of expression #deja's blog

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aching-tummies · 2 years

Note

"my tummy hurts" "toldya not to drink all that milk" 😑

This one took me a while to write a scenario for. I was trying to figure out a scenario in which I'd actually drink a lot of dairy and have been warned against it by a partner. I'm not really keen on the idea of doing the milk galleon challenge so I didn't want to use that as the obvious scenario. Hopefully this one doesn't disappoint.

“Nnngh...” I bite my lip, swallowing apprehensively as I feel something sour at the back of my throat.

“What's up?”

“N-Nothing.” I glare at you as we continue walking on uneven terrain.

We were downtown a little over twenty minutes ago, celebrating with some friends. A few of us had things to celebrate so we all came together to be merry together. Elyse had gotten accepted into her first choice for a Master's degree program. Tyler and his band were in talks with some record companies. Sasha and her partner had gotten engaged just a few days prior. And I had managed to win over a major funding deal at my non-profit job with a presentation that had apparently blown the people with the grant money out of the water. Things were looking up all around and we spent a long time going around sharing in the good news and buying each other drinks as well as debating who got the biggest 'win' if we had to rank them. At the end of it, Tyler and I were voted the biggest winners because our achievements were immediately financially quantifiable. Thanks to that, the two of us were treated to more drinks than we could count.

It wasn't just alcoholic drinks, of course. We're all in our twenties so $7 for a couple of mouthfuls of a drink that burns going down is not being smart with our money. Of course, neither is boba...but we like to think boba is somehow more worth it than shots or whatever because of the volume of drink for our buck and all that. We started out with dinner at a restaurant and had food and alcohol there, then we moved to a boba shop to continue our celebrations because the restaurant was busy and was antsy about having the table free for another reservation (they weren't mean about it and most of us have worked food before, so we vacated without being bitter about it).

The day started out kind of hectic. You had insisted on being a distraction all morning, keeping me in bed long passed my alarm and causing me to be hasty trying to get myself ready and out the door for work today. In my haste, I'd poured much more milk into my thermos of coffee than I'd intended but had no time to fix it as I'd already have to sprint to have a hope of catching the bus to the office.

Partially to make up for being a clingy beast in the morning, and also to kind of tease me about whether or not I'd make it to my office in-time, you had ordered a latte to be delivered to my office an hour into my shift. Unknown to you at the time, the order had glitched on the delivery app, resulting in three large lattes being sent to my office, one every two hours. I thought you were just being silly and I'm not one to waste a gift if I can help it. I did pawn off the last one of the day to a flustered intern as I only had forty minutes left to my shift at that point and my stomach was getting a bit uncomfortable at all of the coffee. I'd skipped lunch because my belly had been so bloated with coffee (and milk) after drinking the botched one in my thermos and two of the large lattes you'd sent. I told you the story after coming home as we were both scrambling to get dressed for a night out with our friends.

The restaurant we'd agreed to meet our friends at was in the heart of downtown. Parking would have been a nightmare, not to mention overpriced to hell and back. We did what we usually do: we have legs, we can walk. So we drove and parked at a large mall just outside of downtown and had opted to walk into the heart of the city to avoid having to pay for parking. The path to the restaurant from the mall was mostly down-hill, so we were there in roughly fifty-five minutes. Heading back to the car after our celebrations, on the other hand...

I wince and pat my stomach. It's bloated up quite a bit since we started walking from downtown. After being voted biggest winner, Tyler and I had been treated to the largest boba from the shop—a cup boasting an entire litre of their famous milk tea (a litre of the liquid, not including toppings). Including toppings and the whip and everything else on it (Pocky sticks, wafer cookies—the works), in total that one drink could have easily filled up two or three stomachs.

“Nnngh...” I double over, arms wrapped around my turbulent tummy. The path between town and the mall is full of hills and intersections, sidewalks, and other obstacles. Not to mention that it's only the cusp of Spring right now and there are still patches of ice and snow everywhere. Our area has tons of gopher holes, but even without them the holes from uneven snow-melt are similar enough in that they'll sprain your ankles if you don't pay attention. The walk is filled with many ups and downs and my stomach sloshes at every single one of them.

“You sure you okay, babe?” Your cheeky grin and your tone betray your true intentions. You already know the answer to your question, you kinky jerk.

You knew my tummy was already upset from all the lattes throughout the day. It took an impressive amount of willpower on your part not to get handsy while I told you about the coffee glitch and was cycling through my closet, trying to find something that would fit around my slightly distended belly.

As the night progressed, you intentionally ordered me the creamiest entree on the menu at the restaurant and had practically drooled when you saw the signature litre and imagined all of it going into my tummy. Despite your fantasy, you had cautioned me what that drink would do to my stomach.

Even now, it's taking an impressive amount of willpower for you to walk in front of me, leading the way back to the car. You feel like Orpheus, being challenged not to look back during the long journey. You know that if you allow yourself to look back or to get your hands on my tummy, we're not making it back to the car before dark.

“Nnnngh...ugh...m-my tummy hurts.” I mutter. I was originally trying to hide my discomfort. I knew you were right about the signature litre...but it tasted good and I didn't want to have to carry such a large cup for the long walk back to our car. I'm regretting my choice now though—not just the signature litre, but everything from the moment I got out of bed.

“I told ya not ta drink all that milk.” You admonish.

I glare at you.

“Who was it that ordered the creamiest pasta on the menu for me at the restaurant?”

“Who was it that drank the signature litre?”

“It was a gift! Refusing it would have been rude!” My outburst is punctuated by an agonizing grumble from my belly. I finally stop, standing still and putting both of my hands on my belly.

You finally turn around but the second you do you curse yourself. My stomach has bloated up noticeably since we left downtown and the sight of it framed between my hands goes straight to your groin. Walking any further is going to be uncomfortable for you as well, maybe with the discomfort focused much lower than the stomach area, but still a discomfort nonetheless.

#tummy ache #tummy ache kink #RP-Lite #bloated belly

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ll-underestimated-ll · 2 years

Note

Please show us some more Antyllus 🥺 I need to know more about this sharp-looking menace 🐍

HIM (*Fallout verse outfit : drawn 17 Oct '22)

In VTM verse there are two different versions of him that are coexisting by courtesy of a mix of malkavian madness on the thinbloods end, and the use of dominate on the Tzimisce's.

The elder was born in 1350 (Gregorian calendar) and sired at the age of ~35 after having gotten himself stuck Europe due to ongoing conflicts and plague. He'd found accommodation with his sire-to-be who was a collector of information so hearing stories from someone who'd made such an arduous pilgrimage across across a couple continents on a quest to collect information was very intriguing to them. His main area of interest has always been understanding the human body and it's function - the special interest in medicine and general biology as it pertains to health is strong with him.

The thinblood meanwhile is a doppelganger (doppelgangers & twins has sorta ended up a reoccurring theme for my characters). Born 1980, he had grown bored of above board medical services and the restrictions associated with them. So despite his young age (especially in regards to the medical field) he stepped away from hospital work and went into private practice. Take on black market and below board jobs in exchange for being provided access to high pay outs & 'donations'. His position had resulted in him being a community ghoul for a while and someone just couldn't wait for him to get their order of blood from the fridge.

Coincidentally, the elder Antyllus arrived in NZ right around this time and the two became buddy buddy in 0.2 seconds because if there is one person that he gets on with better than anyone else (regardless of verse) it is himself.

Len is paranoid about his intentions, as he has every right to be, but in all honesty the pair of Antyllus don't have any at all. He's delighted at being put in charge of the cities alchemist guild. Delighted to give long rambling lectures about blood processing. The pair of them take a lot of pride in ringleading the Auckland equivalent to the circulatory system and make it their duty to repurpose any 'expired' blood within the countries medical system.

(Ignoring the existence of the beckoning) The only things that could draw the elder away from this newfound comfortable position would be: learning that his 'pet' monstrosity of a malkavian had killed therefore leaving his vault of research unprotected... and maybe just getting to a point where he misses having pet snakes too much. The man loves his funky little noodle creatures and NZ doesn't have any at all!

Funnily enough the elders Zulo form, which I've only drawn a couple times cos I can't settle on an exact design isn't even intended for fighting as 'war forms' typically are. All those arms... all those eyes...

[ New! New Art! Post Specific!]

....it's entirely so he can do like 15 things at once. Besides - once your patient is knocked out how are they going to know that the entire surgical theatre staff is just you??

Summary: Two insane nerds share the same identity. Cos there can never only be one of him in a verse.

-- This is long enough and I'm sure I've put this here at some point but Antyllus has moved between verses with me since 2014. So here's the latest comparison doco.

#ooc #ft. antyllus

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laminy · 2 years

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moving on to better news, today is the fourth anniversary of the first time I saw Bohemian Rhapsody. I’ll rewatch it in celebration, like I have each year.

Sometimes it feels like a silly tradition. It’s certainly not my favourite film, I don’t think it’s amazing. The first time I saw it (I was on a birthday trip to the UK which sounds posher than it is lol) I really wasn’t that impressed, except by the Live Aid scene. then I went home, and a couple weeks later I was bored and wanted to go to the cinema, so I thought, why not, and went again. enjoyed it. went again, enjoyed it some more. I remember at that showing, when John says “perhaps you can buy yourself a family,” the people behind me said, “that’s so rude,” which always amused me. it wasn’t rude! John was upset!!

then I lost my job, and was stuck in a city that I literally only moved to for that job. I was depressed as hell, it was just before Christmas. so I went to see it again, and again, to cheer myself up. between the time I lost my job and the time I got a new one, BoRhap became like…people watch The Office over and over again. they need something to watch and laugh at, they turn it on. for me, if I needed something to watch and make me smile, I went to the cinema. even after I got another job, I kept going every few weeks to brighten up. and I live in a big city that plays movie for forever, so from November 2018 to September 2019 (a sing-along version for Freddie’s birthday, which was so fun), I ended up seeing it in cinemas a lot. more than any other movie I’ve ever seen (I think second is Dunkirk, with six). which why saying it’s not my favourite movie is so funny to me. I’m still hoping I get to see it in cinemas again. I had a plan to travel to see it, but you know…the world shut down, that fun stuff.

also when I lost my job, I had plenty of time to write. I started with John/Roger, which I loved and people responded well to. then I wrote a short Ben/Gwil series. and while writing that, I had the idea for ITBASM.

I know I always joke that everything I write ends up 100x longer than I planned (which isn’t really a joke honestly I don’t know how to stop it lol) but I did honestly think, my genuine plan, was 10 chapters. I obviously quickly realized that the types of journeys I wanted the boys to go on wasn’t going to happen in 10 chapters. Sure, it could’ve stopped at 10 chapters if all we wanted was for Gwil to get of his room, and that’s a good story. But I just kept going. and am somehow still writing it??? absolutely insane.

none of ITBASM would have happened without BoRhap, a film I literally never intended to see (I only went because I like going to the cinema on holiday and it was a convenient showtime). without BoRhap, I never would’ve gone to see Queen, or gotten so into their music, which I think is beautiful and so much more than the big songs they’re known for. more importantly, meeting most of my friends on here wouldn’t have happened with BoRhap. all of these amazing people because of one movie. so, cheers to that and cheers to you 🥂

#bohemian rhapsody #me

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girldigital · 2 months

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Letters words and gibberish

Hi,

So I didn't get the job at The Barbican. I should be receiving the feedback soon which is kind of funny. It already feels like a lifetime ago that I had this interview.

Of course I was really sad not to get the gig. After all, it would look great on paper and I there's nothing I love more than things that look good on paper lol.

Part of me is also relieved in a way, just because I don't think London is the place for me long term and I don't need a job that's going to keep me here for longer than I intend to, even if sometimes the best things in life are the things you push away. I don't care that I might only be saying this to cope, as long as it's working!

I have two more interviews scheduled this month, which is quite impressive in this city...

One represents everything I've ever strived for (I could become a REAL video archivist??!!!) whereas the other, a little less, but their offices are based in New York. And who knows me knows I will forever have this glimmer of hope that I get to live there for a little bit, no matter how short.

No time to make false decisions though, as if there's one thing I've learned from being here is to never take things for granted. I am excited though, I cannot stay at this job (or flat!) any longer.

Speaking of, R and I are looking for a new place. It is weird that A, N and I (as in myself) won't live together but I genuinely feel like that's for the best.

I haven't gotten around to speaking about what happened in Spain. I mean, I did but that one had to stay in the drafts and will probably remain. Anyway, despite what felt like a resolution, things simply aren't the same and probably won't ever be again.

I'm looking forward to the new chapter though. It's a bit hard looking for two people, hence why I've also done my own solo research on the side and it's that's been so freeing. In a nice twist of fate, the last flat I messaged for myself also has 2 other rooms up for grabs so I am hoping I can pull what I did once before and secure two rooms.

Moving alone sounds fun, but having R by my side would definitely be a plus. I feel like we're too different to be hanging out all the time, so to live with her is the best way to maintain contact and she's someone I feel very lucky to have met in this city. I also definitely feel like she keeps me in check, even if she's younger. She's been so helpful lately too, hearing me out when I speak about what's on my mind and offering me support and food. She's truly a keeper. A fellow too-beautiful-and-good-for-men-perpetually-single girl...

Speaking of too-beautiful-and-good-for-men-perpetually-single girls...I am talking to someone again. I forgot I started talking about him by referring him as Aiden. It made sense back then, because he felt like such a retaliation against Big, but it's been so long now I'm happy to say he has become his own entity and I will therefore be referring to him as S.

This could go either way. I'm not going to deny that certain aspects are definitely a little wonky, but if there are no crazy surprises, I am feeling a hopeful. I always prefer the slow and steady path anyway. Even if this has exceeded my usual standards, part of me is also somewhat content that there seems to still be a continuous interest from both of our ends, even without the physical aspect. I get really put off by people who want me in a very overt way. Sure, some might say it's my own ridiculous unhealthy attachment to toxicity, but I don't think that's entirely the case. I do want to be wanted! I do want to be desired! But only by the one that I want and desire. Maybe I should become hijabi…

As someone who has only recently become sexually desired by men, it becomes freaky to see just how quickly you can be reduced to your physicality. While that is flattering, I from someone I am equally into and often , it takes a lot for me to care for someone in this way. It also can take time, and it's nice that I got to have it here.

Anyway, I don't know what astrology says about the month of August, but it seems to me like it's going to be one of many changes and I'm so happy for that.

New flat, new job, new romance maybe...It's like summer is finally starting.

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the-firebird69 · 2 years

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Watch "War of the Worlds (2005) - He just took your car and left" on YouTube

youtube

And I hear my grandson that he's thinking that PGA needs ships and they get exposed to radiation maybe and the ships they have they came down to take more and is the second group with him they might have the ships that they already have so it hasn't happened yet but I know what happens in the movie The encounter a fleet and it's most likely Tommy f is usually in first and Max don't have enough to push them off but these guys will go out and take shifts now and try to because they need the ships and it makes sense and they're probably trying in New York tonight with clover who was probably a harvester and mutated back and then we'll mutate again to be a harvester when exposed in the city by them attacking it and it makes perfect sense it hasn't happened yet but I'm not at a loss anymore so it's actually BJ being mutated which means that they're in and out of control but others are still controlling it 2° and he's got a big crew with him of Jason and they have a bunch of saucers this is going to happen quick they're going to be above cities with these machines and he says they have new tech in them doesn't know if will and Bill made it or his installed but no you guys don't have the ability to do that charge up a building it'll just slice it up with lightning and it wouldn't explain why they're possessed still people want to see them after. And now this is exciting. He doesn't want to be near me right now and he thinks I'm wearing his leather jacket which I probably am it's a little light for a motorcycle jacket and that's what he said it is supposed to dress jacket I was kind of leathery so I got exposed expanded a little so damn weird his stuff goes from so much stupid crap it says it's spying. That was a few things going on too I took the Camaro and I'm getting ready it's going to burn way too hot it has a thing on there he says it's not too hard to take it off it's just making sure you don't get particles in there from the stupid thing seal you got to scrape it so I got the idea scraping vacuum it out and try that because otherwise it takes forever it's very tedious and there's some things you can put in there that work better but I don't have time for that so I got a bunch of shirts and I'm going to do that and neatly I know how to do that stuff but really if you don't get to seal off it won't work and I needed to work very well and I have the seal stuff it doesn't form fast enough and I'm getting ready to put it on there it's a low-rise and the hood Will go on and Bobby had it when it was fixed it looks like I don't take off the car when I come back so I don't know and the bridge is probably still there he says those are not really intended to trap people there I didn't get that tattoo and BJ needs some chips and there's millions there he said so I wonder what he's going to go up against

Biden

We see it and hear it and we know it is Tommy f and it will be a destiny 2 ft to try and confuse him but Jason's been studying it. So he needs them and they're working together lately it's less than a headache was brad. You did the job there Biden. He said he knows it and I'm moving out soon and it's in the future and it's right now is saying we haven't gotten there yet and kind of work and it runs great when you top and he hasn't moved the containers yet also need to start smiling I'm moving them in for them and they're already aliens and Tommy f wants it for research it's attract the max so yes I've got some kind of game it said you finally did it and you got the car. So you smiling cuz it says yeah everybody wanted that Camaro everyone I wanted it so I got one like it it looks up and says wow that's how you did it she did too I probably did it to myself sometimes I do it now.. I can say is it looks like if you capture them they're going to hurt you you say this it's your plan and I mean to get you there so you can run your plan and you know my stuff or something like that I get what you're saying this is going to go well but here's the catch they're going to take that big brother and mess everything up so somehow the guy disappears today and comes back after jumping off the bridge it says he knows where he is and is around there and he's not committing suicide he's trying to get this on a sub I think you like jumped a little far out or something.. so she's like how can we laughing it's really easy it's like Brian and Jason who are the aliens so she starts laughing and said in what am I the gym is alien in the comic books. But you're actually a little girl not a little girl but and you're probably possessed yeah so she goes s*** oh an old lady. No I don't want you to do that damn it it's energy. So it'll be fine but it seems like it does come back and drives the Camaro out and does other movies and top gun begins from those on the movies cuz he goes into military mode and then you have the experience of a lifetime. Up there but you know prisoner but these guys hold you but you can see the bars and them it's hard to see him and you're in trouble suddenly get something that's the math and we're both going to go through it and he's smiling saying you're right and ken more so ken and will and Bill oh my God. So we have to move the device out but that's what's happening and it's really exciting this change and big change and people are changing the tune very fast and about the alien stuff too and Tommy f being an idiot and he is encouraging it he encouraged it the whole time and it's he's a nut case it's already everywhere.

Few more things are happening it's going on now and it's going to be interesting and exciting and there are a ton of people wondering why it's so damn fast and then they said well we drive over here we drive back and to get that and all sudden they said how is that monster get there it's real big and all those little kids and I got that and it's already Jason and the brains shrink and they're like spiders. And it would be happening possibly today well they just started taking out the diamonds and our son says it's probably going to be a little bit more time but it will go on it says to his grandpa she probably should get somebody ready if you can without ruining it am I thinking is that Independence Day One actually comes first that's Jason and his ship goes out there and district 9 and the ship that is stuck out there would be from New Mexico after the incident my district 9 happens I think before the incident I don't know if that's correct I think that it happens The district 9 occurs first and there was special on the board and it was ghwb and yeah you have to squeeze real hard. There was a son and we think he's right you think that Jason trips it off and he's over cities taking stuff cuz the cities took a portion of the stashes and caches and lied and big huge Sears and all sorts of stuff and those ships are gigantic and mostly around 50 miles they look like 10 Mile but they're up in the air they're huge if they fall the city's gone so it's not stupid but he is stupid at the same time cuz he knows about it it's getting mad cuz this girl came over without him and it's not letting him say the lights on oh... But that's not it his Governor here and he's starting to get pushed out and by Max

Thor Freya

#Youtube

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hopewritcs · 2 years

Text

unexpected once again.

pairing: jim hopper x reader.

word count: 2.1k

a request from anonymous: can you do a part 2 that follows st4 for well, that was unexpected???

notes: me, still crying over st4 vol 2 now writing this??? u betcha!!! st4 vol 2 spoilers !!!!!!

part one | part two

stranger things tag list: @rockstarmunson ( if you want to be added to the prodigal sister tag list, please ask ! )

You had been distraught when you thought Jim was dead. How else were you supposed to feel when the man you had just met, the man who was your soulmate, just died because of something you couldn’t even control or predict.

Of course, Joyce continued to try to convince you that he wasn’t dead. That he had to be alive out there somewhere, but you didn’t know if you believed it. Maybe you just couldn’t believe it.

You had your soulmate for a grand total of minutes before he died.

If you thought about it logically, you knew that you would feel it if your soulmate was really gone. But logic went out the window when you thought about the fact that he was dead, that you had lost him just as you had found him. You would never get the chance to be with your soulmate, even if everything had aligned this was how the world had always intended for you two to meet.

Had the world known what it was planning all along? That he was walking into something that could get him killed?

You could never forgive the world for that, that they had just given you your soulmate only to take him away.

Sure, you had your news desk reporter job. Hell, it was just a small time thing. A desk reporter job for a small new station. Or at least that’s what you thought was going on. You imagined it was going to be a way to ease into the world of reporting since it was just the small town of Hawkins--80 miles away from the big city of Indianapolis.

The night you lost your soulmate changed everything.

Suddenly Hawkins was country wide news for a time, and as a local news reporter you were on the news practically the whole time. Talking to other field reporters, taking calls from local and non-local syndicates, offering your own piece of mind as someone who had been at the mall.

The job you assumed was going to be a starter job turned into the job you always wanted, a big time reporting job right from the place you’d just moved. Indianapolis was coming to you live every morning for the first few months of your job, and they even offered for you to move out to the city.

But you couldn’t say yes. Something was keeping you in the small town that you had just moved to, even though the soulmate you had just lost was no longer there.

Neither was his daughter, or his friend who had become yours. Though you kept in touch with both of them with phone calls.

Joyce was still adamant that Jim was alive, and to be frank your resolve was waning. As time passed, you found yourself looking down at the writing on your arm. Thinking to the funeral that there had been for Jim and wondering about everything else. Wouldn’t you know if he were really gone? Shouldn’t you feel different?

What if he was out there?

What if he was waiting for you and you stood by the town and hadn’t gone looking for him?

You got a phone call from a frantic Murray one day as he was packing things up to go to California, and you missed about half of what he said. What you caught was that Joyce thought she had gotten a message from Jim and he was going to help her investigate.

“Tell me everything.” you found yourself saying, closing the door to your office and listening as Murray spoke quickly.

“I don’t know if we’ll find him.” Murray said. You knew he was skeptical, but that was just who Murray was. He was always skeptical of everything, especially when it came to the Russians.

“Be careful.” you replied, suddenly struck with worry for both him and Joyce. “Let me know what happens, please.” A knock on your office door startled you and you looked down at the phone. “I have to go, Murray. Call me when you’re with Joyce, and just...do everything you can.”

Murray said his goodbyes in Russian, and you’re unsure if that was meant to comfort you or to worry you--maybe a bit of both. Then you sat back in your chair and sighed.

You were distracted with so many thoughts when the knock on your door sounded again, the voice on the other side telling you it was nearly time to get on the air.

“I’m coming.” you said, but your voice nearly betrayed your emotions.

Be safe, you said. Find Jim. Maybe there was hope.

You didn’t hear back from Murray and it worried you more than anything. At least if you had heard from Murray and Joyce maybe you’d be able to sleep at night, a bit worried about whatever they were getting themselves into, but not a single word? You didn’t know what to think of that.

Every time you called Joyce’s house, the number you had memorized, the signal was just busy and you didn’t think she was doing enough telemarketing phone calls to cause all of that. Plus, there was no way that Jonathan was calling Nancy enough to cause that busy signal too.

Fuck.

Your worry only grew with everything that was happening in the town. You had to report on murders, but going to the crime scenes you knew that something was up with everything.

This wasn’t the work of some teenage kid like the town wanted to think, but you were reporting the news and had to keep the town up to date on what was going on with the investigation. You just knew that this was going the way everything had been last summer--but you didn’t know who to turn to to talk about that.

You didn’t have Jim, Joyce or Murray. Maybe you could find the group of teens, but you didn’t know where they might be.

You were a journalist at heart, a reporter on screen who needed to know everything. So you took the opportunities at hand and walked the routes you knew would give you clues to help your own reporting.

Of course, who knew that you would once again wind up walking into the middle of everything--finding the group of kids on the shoreline as you watched the older teens getting into the boat.

“Shit. That’s the lady from the news.” the curly haired teen, the one you recognized as Eddie Munson who everyone in town wanted to believe was behind the killings, said. “Oh shit, I’m dead.”

“Chill, Munson. It’s just Y/N.” Robin said, rolling her eyes and turning to look at you.

“You know her?” he asked, looking at the group of people around him. “Oh, if this is a fucking set up I’m just gonna swim out of here.”

“If this was a set up, don’t you think I’d have a camera crew or something.” you said, gesturing around to the empty woods behind you and then looking back at everything. “What the hell is going on?”

“You’re reporting the killings, right?” Dustin asked, looking at you. When you nodded he added, “Any chance you can try to clear Eddie’s name?”

“Well, the whole town thinks it’s him. No offense, doesn’t really seem like you’re capable of that.” You said, looking at the older teen before turning back to Dustin, “So what’s doing the killings then?”

“It’s kind of hard to explain.” he said.

“You try it, we’ll go look for the gate.” Steve said, pushing the boat off of the shore and leaving you alone with the younger teens and waiting for them to start talking.

How on Earth you got involved in all of this, when all you’d been doing was really looking for a killer ( of course that killer had to be another dimensional creature ) and trying to distract yourself from thoughts of your soulmate being alive.

You couldn’t exactly be involved with the kid’s plans for everything, because of everything involved with it and the fact that you had to work. Technically you had to “lookout” for Eddie Munson sightings and interview people about the murders.

The least you could do was try and shed some light to give Eddie a good lighting, so you convinced his Uncle to be interviewed on air with you. Promising that you wouldn’t call his nephew the murderer everyone else was and only asking for his side of things.

After your on air interview, you left and went to be at the trailer that was still technically a crime scene--hoping that you could offer any kind of support that you could.

When you walked into the trailer, you heard screaming on the other side of the barrier and looked up, watching from the mirror view as Eddie and Dustin fought off the bats in the trailer.

You didn’t even know what to say, couldn’t find the words--you’d never really seen this happen before your own eyes. Last summer you had been ushered out before everything happened. You’d only heard the stories from everyone else.

Before you knew it, Dustin was climbing back up the rope and falling beside your feet and then calling for Eddie to do the same. But Eddie didn’t listen to reason, to Dustin’s pleading, to anything, he just moved the mattress away from the rope and cut the way down.

He was giving the more time.

You didn’t know what to do, because part of you knew that he was sacrificing himself--like how Joyce told you Jim had done. You were stuck, unmoving.

It was like the world was screaming, spinning, taking over.

You couldn’t let them lose someone else. Not when you could possibly do something about it. And sure, maybe Jim wasn’t lost technically, but the funeral flashed in your mind and it was like that all over again.

You couldn’t do that again.

But damn it, you had to get your feet to move.

Dustin was ahead of you, jumping through the barrier and landing wrong. You quickly followed him, grabbing hold of anything you could use as a weapon and racing to follow the young teen into what you were certain was doom.

But this time, you were doing something.

It was over. You were at the cabin cleaning everything up for El to stay hidden, getting the inside of the place cleaned up and just hoping that everything was going to be okay.

Max was in the hospital.

Eddie was in the hospital.

You were just hoping that everything would be alright, despite knowing that it probably wasn’t going to be just fine.

You left the cabin and went around back to see if you could find something to cover up the roof, at least for now. That’s when you heard the car pulling up.

Everything in you worried that it was something wrong, something horrible, but who knew the cabin was all the way out here?

Stepping out from behind the cabin you looked up and saw Joyce hugging her sons.

“Oh my God.” you said, looking at her. You didn’t know what you had expected, but Joyce wasn’t on the top of your list. Part of you thought about Murray. Part of you thought about Jim.

“Y/N.” she looked at you, still hugging her sons and turning her gaze to look at you. She gave you a small nod, and that was all you needed. Something good had happened.

You turned around when you heard footsteps, and you felt like the world stopped.

There he was, standing on the porch with his arm around his daughter. He was there. He was real and he was alive.

You took a half step forward and looked at him. He looked different, but you figured he would--you had no idea what had happened in the time that he had been gone. But maybe you had all the time in the world, whatever was left of it that was, to figure out.

Jim took a couple of steps toward you, leaving El’s side as he walked down the steps to look at you. “Heard you got involved in all that Scooby Doo shit again.” Jim greeted, a half smirk on his lips as he spoke.

“Guess it’s kind of our thing now. All over again, huh?” you replied, reaching your hand up to brush his cheek as if you thought he wasn’t real. A soft gesture, a brief moment. “I was so worried about you.”

“I missed you.” he said. You knew what he meant, too. Because you missed him, too. Despite not knowing him well, despite having only just met him before he had died, before he vanished, you missed him more than you expected to.

Maybe the world knew what it was doing with this whole soulmate thing after all, you just needed to trust it.

#jim hopper x reader #jim hopper x you #jim hopper #stranger things x reader #stranger things x you #st spoilers #volume 2 spoilers #soulmate!au

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