#i had a feeling about this before act 3 dropped so i drafted this

[sourslip]

[lostfracturess]

LAST DECEMBER MORNING — SATORU GOJO

pairing — satoru gojo x sorcerer!reader

summary — on a frost-bitten december morning, you watch satoru gojo prepare for his fated battle with sukuna with infuriating calm, like he isn't planning to sacrifice himself for the greater good. you've spent years being his secret, clearing battlefields for him and stealing kisses between missions, but now you're faced with the most brutal truth. that sometimes the cruelest curse isn't the one that kills you — it's loving someone who belongs to the world before they belong to you.

word count — 5.4 k

warnings — heavy angst, hurt/no comfort, mentions of blood and violence, implied death, unhealthy relationship, sad ending

author's note — this has been rotting in my drafts since the final jjk chapter dropped, and i finally dragged it out into the light bc i'm procrastinating uni. fair warning, this is pure angst with zero comfort, just two people breaking each other's hearts because sometimes love isn't enough. anywayys, happy reading <3

masterlist

Winter had never felt so much like an ending.

You watched frost creep across the windows of your shared apartment, each crystalline pattern forming like cracks in glass, spreading slowly but inevitably.

Outside, the world lay hushed under winter's blanket, everything soft and serene. Birds traced lazy patterns against a sky so blue it hurt to look at, and fresh snow made everything clean and new.

It was the kind of morning that belonged in fairy tales, the kind poets write about when they want to capture peace in words. Strange, how you'd never imagined death would choose such a beautiful day.

You watched Satoru move through his routine, each gesture precise and unhurried. White hair caught the pale sunlight as he smoothed it back, his reflection in the mirror handsome as ever before he adjusted his clothes, and put on his blindfold.

You'd watched him prepare for countless missions before, but this felt different. This felt final.

The normality of it all was almost cruel — how he could stand there, getting ready like this was just another day, just another fight. Like the sun wasn't rising on what could be your last morning together.

The clock on the wall ticked steadily forward, each second falling like a stone into still water. Time felt strange, both rushing too fast and moving too slow. You wanted to grab the clock's hands, force them to stop, to give you just a few more moments in this morning that felt like borrowed time.

"You're staring," he said without turning around, a slight smile playing at his lips.

"Can you blame me?" You were curled up in the window seat, tea growing cold in your hands. "It's not every day your— whatever we are goes to fight the King of Curses."

He turned then, and even through the blindfold, you could feel the weight of his gaze. "Whatever we are?" There was amusement in his tone. "After all this time, you still don't know what we are?"

"Well, we're not exactly big on labels," you pointed out, trying to keep your voice light despite the heaviness in your chest. "Secret relationship and all that."

"Ah, but that's what makes it fun, isn't it?" He crossed the room to where you sat, reaching out to brush a strand of hair from your face. "The sneaking around, the secret meetings—"

"Satoru." You caught his hand. "How are you so calm about this?"

He tilted his head, considering. "Would you prefer if I was panicking?"

"I'd prefer if you showed any emotion at all about the fact that you're about to fight Sukuna." You stood up, setting your tea aside. "You've been acting like this is just another day, just another fight, but it's not. You know it's not."

"I think I've shown plenty of emotion," he said, pulling you closer with a playful smile. "Just last night, if I recall—"

"Don't." You pressed a hand against his chest, keeping him at arm's length. "Don't deflect. Not today."

The smile faded from his face, replaced by something more serious. "What do you want me to say?"

"I want you to tell me why you're so calm. I want you to tell me why you're not worried." Your voice cracked slightly, but you pushed on. "I want you to tell me why it feels like you're saying goodbye."

He was quiet for a long moment, his thumb tracing patterns on your wrist where he still held it. Finally, he spoke, his voice softer than before. "The world needs to move forward. It needs to find someone stronger."

"What are you talking about?" You pulled back slightly. "You're the strongest there is."

"Am I?" His smile was gentle, almost sad. "Or is that just what everyone needs to believe?"

"Satoru—"

"The world has relied on me for too long," he continued. "They've made me their symbol, their savior, their stupid hero. But what happens when I'm gone? Who protects them then?"

"You're not going anywhere," you said. "You're going to win. You always win."

He cupped your face in his hands, thumbs brushing your cheekbones. "Sometimes winning isn't about surviving. Sometimes it's about making sure what comes after is better than what came before."

"That's not funny."

"I'm not trying to be funny." He leaned forward, pressing his forehead against yours. "I'm trying to tell you that whatever happens today, the world will keep turning. It will find new leaders, new protectors. Maybe even better ones."

"I don't want new protectors," you whispered. "I want you."

"Ah, but you've always had me," he said softly. "Ever since that first mission together, when you told me my head was too big to fit through doorways. Do you remember?"

You huffed. "You were showing off, making everything more complicated than it needed to be."

"I was trying to impress you."

"You're always trying to impress me."

"But it's working, right?"

You pressed closer to him, breathing in his familiar scent. "You know it is, you idiot."

He wrapped his arms around you, holding you tight against his chest. For a moment, you both stood there in silence, listening to each other's heartbeats. The familiar rhythm brought back memories of how this all began, of the first time you'd been close enough to hear his heart race.

For loving Satoru Gojo had always been the most beautiful and dangerous thing in your world.

It started in blood, as most things in your world did. A mission gone wrong, cursed spirits thick in the air, the metallic taste of death sharp on your tongue. You’d seen him fight before—who hadn’t?

But that night was different. That night, you saw him bleed.

A special-grade curse caught you both off guard. One moment, he fought three curses at once like some untouchable god, and the next, he was crashing through three buildings, blood gushing from his mouth.

Something in your chest cracked at the sight — not from the impact of being thrown back yourself, but from seeing him, the strongest sorcerer alive, look so terrifyingly human.

You remembered how his blindfold had been torn, those devastating blue eyes meeting yours across the wreckage. Blood trickled down his chin, his usually perfect hair matted with debris, and yet he smiled. That damn smile that made your heart stutter even as cursed spirits attacked you from all sides.

“Trying to steal my spotlight?” he’d joked, wiping blood from his lips as he stood. “I’m the only one allowed to look cool here.”

You wanted to strangle him. You wanted to kiss him. You wanted to scream at him for making jokes when he could have died. You did none of those things. Instead, you cleared the area, giving him the perfect opening he needed to obliterate the special grade.

Later, after the dust had settled and the reports had been filed, he cornered you in the darkened hallway of Jujutsu High.

“You’re angry,” he said, not a question but a statement.

“I’m not angry.” You were furious. “I’m just wondering how someone who’s supposed to be the strongest can be so fucking reckless.”

He stepped closer, backing you against the wall. “Worried about me?”

“You wish.” But your voice shook, betraying you. Because you had been worried. Terrified, actually. The image of him lying in that wreckage, blood staining his white hair red, had burned itself into your mind.

“Liar,” he whispered, and then his lips were on yours.

Everything they said about Satoru Gojo was true — he was overwhelming, all-consuming, impossible to resist. Kissing him felt like being struck by lightning, like being unmade and remade in the space between heartbeats. You broke apart, both breathing hard, and reality came crashing back.

“Fuck,” you summarized eloquently.

He laughed, the sound low and rich. “That could be arranged.”

“Satoru.” You pressed a hand against his chest, feeling his heart race under your palm. “We can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because you’re you. Because I’m me. Because there are a thousand reasons why this is a terrible idea.”

“I’m only hearing excuses.” He caught your hand, pressing a kiss to your palm. “Not actual reasons.”

And that was how it started — with blood and curses and kisses in dark hallways. With terrible ideas that felt too good to resist.

Keeping it secret was both easier and harder than you expected. Easier because everyone already knew how Satoru was — flirtatious, tactile, always pushing boundaries. No one questioned when he draped himself over your desk during meetings or appeared uninvited in your office and stayed for hours.

Harder because every moment felt like a lie of omission. Harder because you had to watch him walk into danger again and again, had to maintain professional distance when all you wanted was to grab him and never let go.

You stole moments where you could find them. Quick kisses in empty classrooms, heated encounters between missions, quiet nights in your apartment when the world thought he was somewhere else entirely.

It ate at you sometimes. Not because you wanted to announce it to the world, but because each moment felt borrowed, stolen from a future you might never have.

Every time he left for a mission, every time he faced another curse, you wondered if this would be it. If this would be the time your last memory of him would be a secret smile across a meeting room, a cryptic message that no one else understood. But then he’d come back, always with that insufferable smile, usually with some ridiculous story about how amazing he’d been.

He’d find ways to touch you in public that looked casual — a hand at the small of your back during briefings, fingers brushing as he passed you documents, his body angled toward yours in crowded rooms like a sunflower seeking light.

And the worst part? The absolute worst part was how good he was at pretending. How easily he maintained his public persona — the untouchable, unbeatable Satoru Gojo, who flirted with everyone and meant it with no one.

Sometimes you’d catch him looking at you in meetings with the same expression he gave everyone else, and for a moment, you’d wonder if you’d imagined everything between you.

But then night would fall, and he’d show up at your door with takeout and that soft smile he saved just for you. He’d kiss you like he was trying to apologize for every moment he had to pretend you were nothing special, like he was trying to prove that this, the two of you, was the only real thing in his world.

You never talked about the future. How could you? In your line of work, tomorrow was never guaranteed. Each mission could be your last, each kiss could be your goodbye. The closest you ever came to acknowledging it was in the desperate way he’d hold you after a close call, in the way you’d trace his features in the dark like you were trying to memorize them by touch.

Some nights, when sleep eluded you both, he’d tell you about the weight of being the strongest, about the exhaustion of being everyone’s last hope.

He’d whisper his fears into your skin — not of death or defeat, but of failing those who believed in him. Those were the moments when the great Satoru Gojo disappeared, leaving just Satoru, just a man who carried the world on his shoulders and made it look easy.

You lived for those moments. The quiet ones, the real ones, the ones where he wasn’t the strongest sorcerer alive but just yours. Just as you were his.

You carved out your own little infinity in the spaces between battles and duties. A secret world where his laugh wasn’t for show, where your touch wasn’t professional, where you could just be the two of you without the weight of expectations and reputations.

But infinity, as it turned out, had limits. Even his.

Looking at him now, preparing to face Sukuna with that same causality he brought to everything, you wondered if this was how your story was always meant to end. If all those stolen moments were just preparing you for this — one last morning, one last smile, one last chance to pretend tomorrow might come.

The world needed someone stronger, he said. But you needed him. And maybe that was the cruelest curse of all — loving someone the world needed more than you did.

"Promise me something," you said then.

"Hmm?"

"Promise me you won't just give up. Promise me you'll fight to come back."

He pulled back slightly, reaching up to remove his blindfold. His striking blue eyes met yours, intense and clear.

"I promise," he said, "that everything I do today will be for a better tomorrow."

"That's not what I asked."

"It's the only promise I can make."

"Stop." Your voice turned sharp, anger finally breaking through. "Stop talking about tomorrow. Stop talking about the future and the next generation and whatever noble sacrifice you think you need to make. I don't care about any of that."

"Don't you?"

"No, I don't." You grabbed his jacket, fingers twisting in the fabric. "I don't care if the world needs someone stronger. I don't care if the next generation needs to step up. I care about you, you impossible man. I want you here, alive, with me. Is that so wrong? Am I not allowed to be selfish when it comes to you?"

"Huh." He caught your hands in his, but didn't pull them away from his jacket. "And here I thought you understood me better than anyone."

"Don't." You tried to pull away, but he held firm. "Don't you dare try to make this about understanding. I understand perfectly. But you're wrong. You don't have to do this."

His smile faltered slightly. "It's not that simple."

"It is that simple!" Your voice cracked. "You're choosing to make it complicated. You're choosing to walk away, to... to what? Make some grand statement about the future? Prove that the world can survive without the great Satoru Gojo?"

"Someone has to."

"But why does it have to be you?" The words burst out of you, raw and desperate. "Why do you have to be the one to show them? Why can't you just fight to win, to live, to come back to—" You cut yourself off, biting back the words that wanted to follow.

"To you?" he finished softly.

"Yes," you said, dropping your forehead against his chest. "To me. Call me selfish, call me short-sighted, I don't care. I want more mornings like this. More everything. More of you, being insufferably calm and making terrible jokes and acting like the world isn't ending when we both know it might be."

He was quiet for a moment, one hand coming up to cradle the back of your head. When he spoke, his voice was gentler than before.

"I can't promise to come back." He leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. "But know this, every moment with you has been worth fighting for. Worth living for."

You pulled back enough to look at him, really look at him. "Then fight for more moments. Fight to make more memories. Fight to come back to me, not for some greater purpose or stupid sacrifice, but because you want to."

"And if I told you that wanting isn't enough?"

"Then I'd call you a liar." Your voice turned cold. "Because you're Satoru fucking Gojo. When has anything ever been impossible for you? When have you ever let anyone tell you what you can't do?"

​​"This is different—"

"How? How is this different? Because it's Sukuna? Because it's the fate of jujutsu society? Or because you've already decided how this story ends?"

His hands tightened on you, and for a moment, just a moment, you saw something flicker behind those blue eyes — doubt, fear, longing, you couldn't tell. But then it was gone, replaced by that same calm certainty that made you want to scream.

"Because I can't protect everyone—can't protect you if I allow myself to believe in a tomorrow," he whispered.

The gentleness in his voice, the soft way he delivered words meant to cut, made you want to tear the world apart. It was so perfectly Satoru — to break your heart like he was doing you a favor, to wound you with a tenderness that felt more cruel than any violence could be.

"I never asked you to protect me," you said finally. "I asked you to stay. There's a difference."

"Is there?" His hand came up to cup your face, shaking ever so slightly, betraying the calm he fought so hard to maintain. "Because every time I look at you, all I can think about is how many people would use you to get to me. How many would hurt you just to prove they could touch something I care about."

"So your solution is to what? Die nobly? Make sure there's nothing left for them to use against you?"

"My solution is to make sure the world doesn't need me anymore." His thumb brushed across your cheek, catching a tear you hadn't realized had fallen. "To make sure you don't need me anymore."

"That's not your choice to make. You don't get to decide what I need. You don't get to martyr yourself for some greater good and pretend it's for my protection."

"Then what would you have me do?" For the first time, there was a hint of frustration in his voice. "Ignore my responsibilities? Pretend I'm not who I am?"

"I would have you fight like you want to come back!" The words ripped from your throat. "Fight like there's someone waiting for you after. Fight like you love me as much as I love you!"

The confession rang out between you, and the moment it left your lips, you realized you'd never said it before. Through all the stolen moments, all the secret touches, all the nights you'd spent memorizing each other's bodies — you'd never actually spoken those words aloud.

You'd both danced around it, implied it in every action, every look, every unfinished sentence, but neither of you had ever dared to make it real with words.

Until now. Until you were angry enough, desperate enough, terrified enough to let it slip from your heart straight past your defenses.

"Love?" His voice was barely a whisper.

"Of course I love you, you idiot." Your voice equally quiet. "Why else would I be standing here, begging the strongest sorcerer alive to be selfish just once?”

He made a sound somewhere between a laugh and a sigh, maybe a sob, his fingers tightening on you. "Don't," he whispered, and for the first time that morning, his voice was shaking. "Don't make this harder than it already is. Don't say things that make me want to—" He cut himself off, jaw clenching. "That make me want impossible things."

"Impossible? Since when does Satoru Gojo believe in impossible?"

"Since I realized being with you means putting you at risk." His thumb brushed your cheek, the gesture achingly gentle. "Since I understood that staying alive isn't the same as keeping you safe."

"I hate this." You shook your head. "I hate how calmly you can stand here and talk about sacrifice like it's inevitable. Like there's no other way."

"Would you prefer if I fell apart?" His smile turned sad. "If I raged and cried and promised things I might not be able to keep?"

"Yes," you admitted, your hands coming up to cover his where they still held your face. "Because at least then I'd know you want to stay as much as I want you to."

"Oh, my love." The endearment fell from his lips like a confession. "Wanting to stay has never been the question. The question is whether I can live with myself if I do."

"And what about whether I can live with myself if you don't?" Your voice broke. "What about whether I can forgive myself for not fighting harder to make you stay?"

"This isn't your fight."

"Like hell it isn't." You pulled back. "You think I spent months learning to clear battlefields just so you could take center stage? You think I perfected my technique to complement your infinity because I had nothing better to do?" You dug your nails into your palms, throat tight with fury. "I've been fighting alongside you since before you ever kissed me in that hallway. Before you ever decided I was worth protecting. Don't you dare tell me this isn't my fight when I've spent years making sure you had the space you needed to be great."

He was quiet for a long moment, studying you. When he finally spoke, his voice was soft, almost reverent. "And that's exactly why I need to go. The world doesn't need more people making space for me. It needs people who'll fill that space themselves."

You recoiled like he'd slapped you, hurt burning in your chest. "Is that what you think I've been doing? Making myself smaller for you? Made space for you because I was afraid to reach higher?" You stepped closer, deadly calm now. "I made space for you because that's what you do when you love someone."

His lips twitched into a smile. "So you do understand me."

"Don't pretend those are the same thing."

He was quiet for a moment. Then, instead of answering, he pulled you into a kiss that tasted like goodbye. Like all the tomorrows you'd never have, all the moments you'd never share, all the promises neither of you could keep. You kissed him back with everything you had — all your fury and fear and love condensed into this one perfect, terrible moment.

His hands tangled in your hair like he was trying to memorize the feeling, yours gripping his jacket as if you could keep him here through sheer force of will. When you finally broke apart, hearts pounding, foreheads pressed together in the space between one heartbeat and the next.

"I'll hate you," you whispered against his lips. "If you don't come back, I'll hate you for the rest of my life."

He pulled back just enough to look at you, and for once, his smile held an edge of something raw, something that looked almost like pain. "No, you won't."

"I will." Your fingers tightened in his jacket. "I'll hate you for making me fall in love with someone who was always planning to leave. I'll hate you for every morning I wake up alone, for every mission briefing where someone else stands in your place, for every year I have to leave flowers on your grave."

"You'll move on. You'll find someone—"

"Fuck you," you cut him off, the words sharp enough to draw blood. "Don't you dare tell me how I'll feel. Don't you dare stand here and plan out my future without you in it."

"I'm just trying to—"

"To what? Prepare me? Make it easier? There's nothing easy about loving you, Satoru Gojo. There never has been. But I chose it anyway. Every day, knowing this moment would come."

"What do you want me to do? Do you want me to say goodbye? Make it messy and painful and real?"

"I want you to stop pretending this is just another mission and show me something that tells me this is killing you like it's killing me."

The silence stretched between you like a chasm. For just a moment, beneath his careful composure, you caught a glimpse of the man behind the name — vulnerable, conflicted, maybe even afraid. But he buried it quickly, like he buried everything that might make him waver from his chosen path.

You'd always known this about him, hadn't you? Known it from that first bloody mission, from every fight where he'd put himself between the world and destruction.

Satoru Gojo was a man built for sacrifice, shaped by duty and power into something that could never truly belong to just one person. You'd fallen in love with him anyway, foolishly hoping that maybe love could be enough to make him choose differently.

But watching him now, seeing the gentle finality in every movement, you understood with crushing clarity that this was always how it would end. No amount of pleading or anger or love could change what he'd already decided.

He'd made his choice long before this morning, probably before he'd ever kissed you in that darkened hallway.

"Keep the tea warm for me," he said finally, stepping back. The words were casual, almost playful — exactly the kind of thing he'd say on any other morning. But that's what made it cruel. Even now, he was trying to soften the blow, pretending this was just another goodbye, just another mission.

You didn't say anything as he walked to the door. Didn't wish him luck or tell him to be safe. The time for those platitudes had passed.

Instead, you watched him pause in the doorway, his hand resting on the frame. For a moment, you thought he might turn around, might drop the act and let you see something real. One last true moment before the end.

He didn't fully turn, but his voice carried back to you, soft and achingly sincere. "I love you. More than anything." A pause. "That's why I have to go."

The words hit you like a physical blow, knocking the air from your lungs. You'd never expected them, had made peace with the silence between heartbeats where those words should have lived.

You'd imagined them differently, in all the quiet moments you'd shared — whispered against your skin in the dark, laughed into your mouth between kisses, murmured sleepily on lazy mornings. Not like this. Never like this.

How cruel, that he would finally say them now, when they felt more like a funeral rite than a confession. A parting gift from a man walking towards his own chosen end, making what should have been beautiful feel like another wound. The words you'd never dared hope for now hurt more than a lifetime of silence ever could.

Your throat burned with all the things you wanted to scream at him — about how love should mean staying, about how he was breaking your heart while trying to save it, about how dare he make those words sound like goodbye when they should have been a beginning.

"I hate you," you whispered.

He made a sound that might have been a laugh or might have been something more broken. "No, you don't." The certainty in his voice felt like another wound. "You love me. You said so yourself."

"I'll hate you." Your voice hardened with each word. "I'll hate you so much it'll make you wish you'd stayed."

His hand tightened on the doorframe, knuckles white with tension. For a heartbeat, you thought you'd finally cracked his composure. That he might turn around and choose you over duty, love over destiny.

He didn't.

The door closed behind him with a soft click that sounded like an ending.

"But I'll wait for you anyway," you whispered to the empty room, hating yourself for the truth in those words.

The truth was, you'd always known it would end like this, known that loving Satoru Gojo meant loving someone who belonged to the world before he belonged to you.

But you'd been naive enough to hope. Foolish enough to think that maybe, just maybe, love could be enough to make him choose differently. That your selfish desire to keep him alive and whole could outweigh his selfless need to reshape the world.

The morning light cut across the empty room, highlighting the space where he'd stood moments before, and you wondered about the cruelty of it all.

Was it wrong to want to keep him here? To ask the strongest sorcerer alive to choose personal happiness over humanity's future? How many would suffer because you'd asked him to be selfish just this once?

But then again, how many had already been saved by him? How many times had he bled and broken and pieced himself back together for a world that only saw him as a shield, never as a man? Didn't he deserve the chance to live for himself, just once?

If love died today, buried six feet under noble intentions and greater goods, then maybe hate was all you had left. And wasn't there something pure in that? In hating him with the same intensity you'd loved him? In letting that hate fill the spaces he left behind, burning away the softness until all that remained was sharp edges and bitter truths?

The world needed Satoru Gojo the symbol, the untouchable god of jujutsu. But you'd needed Satoru, just Satoru, the man who brought you tea exactly how you liked it and kissed you like you were his everything. The man who was walking away, leaving you with nothing but memories and the taste of hate on your tongue.

Was it selfish to think your love was worth more than the world's need? Was it cruel to measure the weight of one heart against humanity's future?

Love and duty were never meant to be weighed against each other like this, weren't meant to be choices that tore a person in two. And perhaps that was the real tragedy — not that he was walking away, but that you'd let yourself believe he wouldn't.

You'd known how this story would end from that very first kiss. Had tasted it in every goodbye before a mission, felt it every time you waited anxiously for his return, seen it lurking behind every smile that never quite reached his eyes.

Loving Satoru Gojo meant loving someone who was always meant to be sacrificed. You'd just been naive enough to think sacrifice could look different, that it didn't have to end with you here, choking on love turned to ash in your mouth.

Your fingers traced your lips where those three words still lingered like a curse. The tea was getting cold on the windowsill. You should pour it out, make a fresh cup. Should start preparing for a world where Satoru Gojo was just a memory, a legend, a story of sacrifice and strength. Should learn how to breathe around the thorns growing in your chest where love used to live.

Instead, you stayed frozen, caught in the space between what was and what could have been. Because maybe he was wrong. Maybe the world didn't need someone stronger. Maybe it just needed him to come back. You certainly did.

But it was too late for maybes now. He was already gone, walking toward a destiny he'd chosen long before he'd chosen you. And you were left here, caught between hating him for leaving and loving him for exactly who he was — a man who would always choose the greater good, even when it shattered both your hearts.

But perhaps the cruelest irony was that in trying to protect humanity, he'd forgotten he was human too. That in becoming everyone's shield, he'd forgotten shields could break. That hearts could break. That yours was breaking.

The sun climbed higher in the sky, indifferent to your pain, indifferent to the way your world had just walked out the door with a smile and a promise he might not be able to keep.

You'd wait anyway. Even knowing how the story was meant to end, you'd wait. Because that's what love was — not just the beautiful parts, but the ugly parts too. The waiting. The hoping. The hating.

The choosing to love someone even when they choose something else. Even when that love turns to poison in your veins.

Even when they choose the world over you.

The tea had long gone cold when you finally moved, muscles stiff from standing still for so long. You'd sworn you wouldn't watch. Had promised yourself you wouldn't be there to see him die for his greater tomorrow.

But your hands were already reaching for your jacket.

Because that was the thing about loving Satoru Gojo — even when it turned to hate, even when it felt like acid in your throat, you couldn't look away. You'd watch him fight Sukuna. Watch him smile that infuriating smile as he chose the world one last time.

After all, you'd already promised to hate him if he didn't come back.

The least you could do was be there to keep that promise.

author's note — thank you for reading this little piece of heartbreak. i was very unsure if it will ever see the light of day but i finished it now bc i was in the mood for pain. if you enjoyed, i would greatly appreciate a reblog or comment. hope your heart isn't too broken <3

ps: if you want to get notifications for future updates, you can join my taglist here!

tags — @fayuki @starmapz @saurondriell @starlightanyaaa @sxnkuna

@cocomanga @nanamis-baker @rosso-seta @shervinss @chiyokoemilia

@janbannan @bloopsstuff

© lostfracturess. do not repost, translate, or copy my work.

[wonton4rang]

can you do riize bf hcs? 💗💗

hiii, ofc!!! my first riize request/ drabble/ thought, oh my :')

btw, guys, i wanted to make something clear with my riize content, for me riize is 7. i understand that some might be mad at seunghan for having a normal life and dating before he was even an idol, or smoking like he's harming your lungs or something, but i don't really mind. he worked hard to get here and even though he might have come across as someone problematic, i believe we should never mix the idol's personal life with their job (in this case, as it's not something that bad, it's not seungri y'all iykyk). they are people, you talk shit behind someone's back too and you don't get fired for it so please understand this and respect my point of view <3 if you feel uncomfortable with that, feel free to stop reading my riize content and live your life.

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Can I be your boyfriend?

pairing: riize x reader.

warnings: +18, mentions of smut.

summary: how i think riize would be as boyfriends (two povs - daily life + intimacy)

note: i had like over 3-4 weeks with this in drafts because i couldn't finish the maknae line (han, hee & ton) but here it is, hope y'all enjoy !! my first riize post <33 pd. i did NOT read this again so it might contain typos, i will try to correct it asap :')

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shotaro;

daily life: he would be a really funny and nice boyfriend to be around. being so kind and his eye smile being so dreamy that you could literally feel your knees getting weak and that fervent desire of pinching his cheeks. he would definitely selfie text you every time he can, "how you doing, baby?" *insert selca*, "did you eat something already?" *insert mirror selfie*. plus, i also think that he would be the type to like to have you on his lap. idk, it just feels right and natural to me.

intimacy: i have been seeing taro since nct and tbh the amount of sex this dude likes to have is insane. like i just see him fucking you three times a day like a fucking meal. he would be fast yet precise, nothing sloppy or out of place, he would whisper in your ear how much he likes you and would give you a reassuring smile when you were about to come that just melted your heart over and over again.

eunseok;

daily life: contrary to his usual behaviour and demeanour, i do think he would be very touchy. probably not really bubbly or acting all cutesy but he is for sure having an arm around you at all times, acting like it's the most natural and normal thing and like he isn't thinking about the way you breath under his touch with every second that goes by. he would also be the type to stare at you all lovingly when you are saying something and then nod with that "i love you so much i'm going crazy" smile on his pretty lips.

intimacy: i have two things for this one, or he is very dominant or he is a lay back type of person. let me elaborate, in both of them he is dominant but the first one is him actually taking control of your movements, physically manipulating you during sex to get you where he wants, when he wants it. on the second one, is more like he layed back and told you to ride him or something but his face has that smug look that you loved-hated because it meant that he was not touching you and you had to do all the work today. but honestly, i feel like he could also have his lovey dovey days and just make love to you!! also, the way this man loves to receive head has to be studied. it came to me in a vision and i actually can give testimony of it :p

sungchan:

daily life: do you guys know this stereotype of the typical sporty, extroverted, funny, tall, handsome and very loving and centered boyfriend? well, meet sungchan. he would video call you at any time, during his morning lecture at college, during his workout session at the gym, while he was waiting for the showers to empty on the changin room. always, everywhere. he would drop by your house almost every night to check up on you since your job and his daily schedule at college wouldn't allow you guys to meet. he would be the type to be so offended if you ever think he would cheat because he doesn't have eyes for anyone else but you !!

intimacy: mr. i'll make love to you on weekdays and get freaky on the weekends fr. he would usually fuck you missionary, looking into your eyes and kissing your lips like a starved man while his dick reached so deep inside of you that your legs would shake. but when the time came, he would also get creative, bending you over the dining table and fucking you raw before pulling out and coming in your ass, ruining your pajamas but making your night the best :((

wonbin:

daily life: princess treatment type of boyfriend. but not just towards you, he is expecting the princess treatment right back. he would dress up so nicely to go and see you, expecting to find you on your best fit too! he would like to help you choose your clothes and even go shopping, getting you both matching jackets and jewelry. idk why but i also see him as the type to like to cuddle at home with you while watching a movie over going outdoors.

intimacy: he has the strength and the body the fuck you senseless but hear me out when i say this man is more of a sub that you could ever imagine. he would try to play it nice and not be so obvious about the fact that he is creaming his pants when you start to move while sitting on his lap, he would hold his soft whines in by biting his bottom lip and then lowering his head to hide the blush across his cheeks. and it doesn't take you a minute to notice and drop to your knees so you can suck him off, feeling his delicated hands tangle in your hair and press you down so he can slowly fuck your throat. just have in mind that your pussy it's next and wonbin has one of the best staminas i've seen in a dancer.

seunghan:

daily life: i personally see seunghan as an energetic person, always trying to be cheerful and thinking of a joke that matches the current vibe, or just laugh along, but i also feel like he'd be a very romantic boy. really into this gentleman persona that would have you weak on your knees and giggling all day, he would take to you to sweet dates, matching couple sweaters and bracelets, long walks at night while you just hold hands and then end up kissing in the entrance of your apartment before trying to say goodbye because he would push you inside and cuddle you all night whenever he has the chance </3

intimacy: yeah i guess we all know where i'm going with this but lord have mercy on you when he decides to show up and say it's time to get naughty. he would start with soft touches, kisses that would slowly get longer and deeper, and a long forgotten movie on your living room while he undressed you on your room. he would be rougher than sungchan but relatively slower, fucking you nice and deep rather than fast and sharp.

sohee:

daily life: pookie. the pookiest pookie of all. but heads up, he might be really cute, his smile might look so innocent that would make you second guess when you said something with a slight double sense and he just look at you like 🫣 he would try to make you food, try to help you around in the house, try to even help you with your homework but would only end up sitting by your side, caressing your frame, your arms and hair, while he made you one or two jokes and sang some lovey dovey tune to your ear.

intimacy: contrary to popular thought, i don't think he is THAT much of a sub. he mainly is, yes, but i also feel like he would be a great dom. like, picture sohee, nicely built body, sharp eyes, playful smirk, freaky hands and sweet yet masculine voice tone whispering in your ear how good your pussy tightens around of his dick, his hands holding your waist and your fingers tangled in his hair... yeah, we need more dom sohee content :')

anton:

daily life: i've always thought that he would be the messiest boyfie ever. he would try to impress you by doing or saying stuff you really didn't care about but you found it so adorable and endearing that you eventually had interest for all the stuff he showed you, because he wanted you to know you had a great and knowledgeable boyfie!! but on the other side, he would just be himself, turning into this boyfriend-best friend kinda thing that you both loved.

intimacy: idk why i feel like he would be a little shy. maybe not shy shy but like he would hesitate at first, not knowing if you'd like this or that and doing none because he didn't wanna make you uncomfortable. however, when he finally gets a hold of you??? gurllll you better be ready. i feel like he's the type to slowly fuck you so good you would end up edging most of the times because he would just be so patient, so precise and yet lacking velocity, but it was on purpose because he would bring your orgasm in a silver plate when he thrusts so fast into you you actually think the bed would crack.

[hellisharchive]

Heyoooo! You probably know me from messaging you but I wanted to ask if you could write a Vox x Fem!reader where reader just takes care of a really wasted but infatuated Vox?

﹒﹒﹒my queen

➤ 18+, drunk Vox, jealous reader, fluff fluff fluff, bathing

➤ Literally wrote this at 2 am and got done at 3 am, so not beta read <3 TYSM for the request! I hope you enjoy it!. AGAIN HOW THE FUCK DID I ACCIDENTLY POST THIS THIS WAS A DRAFT. I dont like how this turned out tbh

You and Vox were close, but you wouldn't dare say that you two were dating. You did have a small crush on him and was scared that confessing would ruin your fiendship. Little did you know he also had a crush on you as well, it was just unfortunate he was letting his business and brand take importance over his personal life. You were an honorary Vee and his best friend. Sure, Velvette and Valentino were his friends too, but you always got jealous as you watched Val and Vox act in such a romantic way with each other all the time. You always suspected that they were a thing, and even if they didn't have a label, you respected it. So, you always kept your feelings hidden deep down

. But you did need a break, it got so tiring having to watch and hear them act all cute and making sexual advances from the time to time. You've been ignoring Vox for at least two weeks, probably not the best choice but your emotions got the better of you. But tonight, you decided to get out of the tower and have some fun. You went to a pretty well known nightclub- not owned by Vox, a rare occurrence- to let off some steam. Your goal was to get laid by the end of the night with a convenientially attractive stranger, but life doesn't always work out as you want.

Yet, when Vel called you as you were about to get on the dancefloor with a hot bull, you dropped everything to take care of the television that was drowning his sorrows in alcohol. According to her, he kept talking about how he wished he could tell you something and how beautiful you were. You mulled over it as you walked back through the tower in your fancy nightclub dress just an hour earlier. While on your way there, you came across Velvette who looked very pissed off and scrolling through phone in the main living area of the personal living quarters. When she saw you, she flipped you off and rolled your eyes.

"Fucking finally! Vox has been throwing a hissy fit waiting for his queen to come and shut him up. Fuck you for taking so long, he's called me twenty fucking times asking where you were bevause he forgot he changed your contact info!" That was all she said before growling and walking away, signalling that you were going to handle this yourself like normal. You never let what Vel says get to you, that's just how she normally is. But he changed your contact info? What to? You've calmed down a drunken Vox many times before, but this time seemed bad.

"Vox?" You knock and call out before opening his door to find a very wasted man laying on his couch, hiccuping and looking incredibly sad. He was slumped over with a wine bottle in his hand, no wine glass, and the red liquid was spilled all over himself. Wine? Really? He got drunk on wine out of his entire collection? He's usually a fun drunk, cracking jokes and overall being the most funny in the room from the out of pocket shit he says. So seeing him so down makes you feel guilty for ignoring him. But as soon as he looked at you, his face lit up and a smile immediately popped up. He dropped the glass and stood up, trying to rush up to you. However, because he was so inebriated, he started to stumble, which caused you to rush up and catch him from his shoulders.

"My Queen! Where did you go? I missed you my sweet!" The comment about Vel calling you his "queen" you just passed off as Vel being Vel, but now he was calling that you too? Maybe playing into this fantasy would be best, drunk people are never rational and don't know what they're even saying.

"Well my king, I had a very important meeting with another kingdom to attend to. But you requested my presence immediately!" You spoke matter-of-fact as you navigated him to the bathroom, it was hard already with him being unable to properly walk, but he also kept staring at you, so he stepped over his own feet countless times.

"Hehehe...I like when you call me that. YOUR king. I'm your king! How lucky am I?" He giggled and that made your heart beat faster. How lucky was he? What was he talking about? Maybe this was just his drunk self talking, you knew he didn't feel that way, he absolutely had a thing for Val, not you. Gulping, you finally manage to drag him to the bathroom where you sat him on the toilet. He would be so sticky with all that wine that soaked through his clothes, so you were going to bathe him. Sure, getting him in and out his going to be a challenge, but you still cared for this man a lot and wanted the best for him.

"I'm getting you your pjs, do not move ok?" You started to leave the bathroom when he whined loudly, making a swipe for your wrist but missed as he looked at you with puppy eyes. Due to his television screen head, his facial expressions can get extremely animated, unlike normal sinners. His eyes basically took up his entire screen, only leaving a little bit of space for a pout. The sight made your heart ache.

"Don't leave again my lovely queen! I need to tell you something!" Sighing, you gave him a soft smile and walked back up to him. Picking up his hand, you put your other hand on top of his and gave him the most softest smile you muster..

"It is bedtime, my king, you must be bathed before heading to our bed. You can tell me once we retire" Our bed. Saying it made your heart do flips.

"Oookkk my beautiful queen! Hehehe you're so pretty..." He had a dopey smile as you walked away, heart hammering so loud it should have been echoing in the room. He thought you were pretty? Fuck- why does he made you feel this way? You knew that look too, it was a look of complete love. He certainly couldn't love you though, that has to be impossible. He was with Val, he had to be. Going on autopilot, you gather up his favorite pyjamas and mentally prepare yourself for going back into the flames. When you get back, he was still sitting on the toilet, giggling and staring ahead as he was talking to himself about how in love with him he was.

What?

He was drunk, he was drunk, he was drunk- why couldn't you even entertain the idea of him returning your feelings? Why was it so hard to accept that fact? Taking a deep breath, you walk into the room and he lights up again.

"My queen! Are thou ready to bathe me? You got my favorite pjs! And you have an amazing ass! There's a reason why I married you!" Freezing once again, you ignoring his comment about your ass in luei of the last thing he said. Married...you? Did Vox think you two married each other? The thought made you shiver and face warm with how amazing that sounded. Being officially tied to him forever, waking up with him together, and getting to love him forever. Standing up after finishing setting the dials to the right temperature, you looked at him and now needed to know more.

"And why else did you marry me my dear?" Battting your eyelashes with the most innocent face you could gather, you started to stip him of his clothes. You've seen him naked a handful of times which always made you incredibly flustered, but undressing him? It made you nervous, especially with how he's acting towards you.

"You're the beeeeest, like, THE best! You're so pretty and gorgeous and have SUCH a hot bod! But you're so so sweet and amazing and help me with everything!" Did he...did he actually love you? Was whatever he was doing with Val was nothing? Shakily manging to get him completely undressed, you stood him up to maneuver him into the large tub. Not trusting yourself to say anything more, you gently lay him down in the perfectly warm water and start lathering him up. You also never bathed him before, so your nerves were going to overdrive. He took your silence and silenced himself too, maybe he somehow knew you were really anxious right now. Taking great care in not getting water on his head, you see as his face turned from a happy one, to a somber one.

The rest of the process of getting him out, drying him off, changing into his pjs, and moving him to his bed was deadly quiet. You felt like you would be breaking some unsaid rule. Tucking him into bed, you left a glass of water and painkillers on his nightstand, turning off the big light and turning on the lamp. Sitting down next to his curled up body, you rubbed his back and felt conflicted. He's drunk as balls. He probably won't remember any of this. Getting up and saying goodnight, he yells for you one last time.

"I'm sorry, I don't know what I did wrong but I'm sorry. Is it Val? We aren't anything serious. I was too scared to tell you because you're so beautiful and I didn't want you to leave me. I love you" Vox looked down at his lap with a sullen expression. Heart hurting for the countless time today, you gave him a kiss on his screen and turned away with a smile

"Tell me when you're sober"

[kentopedia]

౨ৎ ˖ ࣪⊹ IN ALL THE LINES I'VE READ — nanami kento

summary . . . coffee shop meet cute with literature professor nanami <3

contents . . . sfw, written w f!reader in mind, lit prof nanami tehe, fluff, grumpy nanami, reader is a barista, age gap (nanami early 30s, reader early 20s) — 1.4k

notes . . . selfship coded :,,) this is such a random idea from rylie's brain (and drafts) bc i must post something for my most beloved for valentine’s day <33 i have some other ideas for this so let me know if you like it !!!

The first time you meet Nanami Kento, it’s in a dimly lit cafe in your hometown. 

The evening is just dawning upon you, the grey of the dreary sky turning into a muted black. It’s just after 5pm; the sun already fading into the horizon, drizzly rain coating the windows like crystals. 

You’ve been busy all day — it’s always busy on rainy days, when people seem to recall that the ambience of rain pelting outside mixes well with a cup of warm coffee between your palms. The tables are all full, now that people have gotten off work, and it’s a favorite study spot of many students. 

It’s tiring work sometimes, and there are days where you get weary of the same routine. When saving up money seems like a fruitless effort, and you feel like your life should’ve begun already.

But it’s also good to be around people like this… Seeing them laugh and smile, while you only wonder what they’re talking about. The job pays less, but it’s better than being cooped up in a office all day. 

“Hey,” one of the other baristas sets a latte down, a pattern of milk sitting just on top. “Can you run this to the man over there,” she points to a blonde in the corner of the cafe. 

Wordlessly, you take the mug, wiping the drops of coffee that have spilled over the sides of it. The customer had ordered a pastry as well, one of your favorites. There is a small puff of steam wafting off of it, the bottom of the plate still hot.

The man’s back is towards you, facing the window, and he’s bent over a pile of papers. You can’t see his face — but his hair is done up nicely, and his white button-down sleeves are rolled up to his elbow. There’s a nice watch on his wrist, silver and black; one that’s probably more expensive than anything you own.

It’s a balancing act, weaving through the tables with the pastry and mug in hand, and when you get to his, there’s no room to set his order down. Papers are scattered across the table, and there is a stack of well-loved books beside him. A few are titles you recognize, ones you’ve read, ones you own but haven’t gotten to. Some you know only vaguely. 

“Here’s the latte,” you say, distracted, scanning the spines of the books. The man mutters an apology, and moves his papers so that you can set the coffee and plate down. 

He doesn’t look up at you, offering only a dismissive thank you. But the sound goes unnoticed by you; you’re too preoccupied by your excitement. So few people walk in here with with books you’re actually interested in discussing. 

“I’ve been meaning to read that one,” you say, pointing to a title that is on your long list of books to be read. 

He hums — it’s obvious he doesn’t care, and the sound is just one of acknowledgement.

Embarrassment heats your cheeks as you realize this is probably something he gets often. Upon second glance, he’s attractive… breathtakingly so. He probably fends of hoards of woman, ones who use books to gain the key to his heart, even if they’re only pretending to be interested.

“I enjoyed his other books,” you continue, highlighting the ones that you’ve read and love. At least, then, he’ll know you’re not an idiot, even if he stays silent, eyes glued to the paper. 

His pen stops scratching marks into the sheet, but only for a second. Then, he carries on, unimpressed by whatever slim knowledge you’re able to supply. 

“Are you a teacher?” The words leave your lips, once before you can stop yourself.

He doesn’t care. You aren’t sure why you’re even still bothering. 

“Nope,” he replies, finishing up his summarized commentary, scribbled in a penmanship that is something in between messy and elegant. “A professor.” 

“Oh.” You’d thought he was too young to be a professor, but when you look at home closer, there are faint lines around his eyes, ones even more obvious on his forehead. Around thirty, you’d guess. Maybe even older than that. “That’s interesting.”

You should probably leave him alone. He’s busy, and you’re supposed to be working, and he probably thinks you’re a child, the way you’re talking to him like a brick wall. Yet, there is something about him that keeps you glued to your spot, so intrigued by the stack of novels and the way his hand flexes around the pen. 

“Is it?” There is a hint of irritation in his voice when he finally glances up at you from under the round, wire-rimmed glasses, perched on the bridge of his nose. The pen drops onto the table with a soft click. “Because, I find that—”

His lips part. Whatever he was going to say next seems to die, abruptly cut off, and he blinks at you. Two dark eyes scan your face with a hint of surprise. 

You’re cheeks warm, and you suddenly feel uncomfortable. It’s not typical of you to make conversation with strangers, and you’re certain he notices how awkwardly you’re standing. 

“I’m sorry,” you say, clearing your throat, and pointedly ignoring the lump in it. His silhouette had been striking enough, but it’s nothing compared to the entirety of his face. He’s beautiful — like he’s stepped right out of the pages of a novel himself. He feels like everything you’ve ever wanted, with his stack of books and piercing irises. “I’ll let you get back to grading.” 

“No need to apologize.” The tone shifts a bit, his voice not as rough. Maybe you’re just delusional, but his eyes appear to soften. “I’m almost done, anyway.” 

You nod, and a little smile pulls onto your face. It’s not quite true; the stack of ungraded papers is twice as large as the ones he’s finished. “Well, I should … Get back to work. Enjoy the coffee.” 

He smiles, amused; your heart flips, then sinks all the way down to your stomach, pounding. “Alright. Thank you.”

“Have a good night!” you say, far too quickly, before turning on your heels. Your hands are sweating, and you hope he never comes in again, because you’re not sure that you can stand the embarrassment you feel. 

The blonde professor, name unknown, lets you go, and you slink off to hide in the kitchen, cursing yourself for acting like a fool. With hot cheeks, you down a glass of water, big gulps from your shaking hands, and glare at your co-worker when she grins to herself. 

Thirty minutes later, your shift ends, and the professor has made his way out the door, walking down the sidewalk. As you leave the cafe, your bag over your shoulder and hair undone, you notice that he left one of his novels, the one you’d pointed out to him in the beginning of your conversation. 

You rush out to stop him, carrying the book with you. “Hey,” you shout, waving it to the stranger. “You left this.” 

He glances over his shoulders, bundled up in a coat to combat the brisk air. There’s a redness on his cheeks from the cold, a hint of a smile on his lips. “I know,” he says, hands firmly tucked in his pockets. “You can keep it.” 

“But—” you start, swallowing as the pages rustle with the wind, the cover snapping open. 

“You wanted to read it, didn’t you?” he shrugs. “I’ve got lots of copies. You can give it back to me when you finish.” 

You start to question him, but he’s already turned around, heading away. 

Which means he’ll be back, won’t it? You haven’t scared him away completely. 

You shout something at him, and turns, just halfway, making a face that tells you he didn’t hear you.

“That’s my name,” you say again, repeating it, licking your lips. Your only hope is that he’ll offer his. 

But he doesn’t — he keeps walking down the sidewalk, before he answers a phone call, and crosses the street.

Unsurprising.  

You sigh, gaze dropping down to the book. The pages are filled and filled with his handwriting, notes in the margins, highlights and lines across the words. So much thought had been put into it, that you wonder how many times he’s read this book, if maybe, it’s a favorite. 

The wind flicks the cover back to the front title page, the publisher underneath. In the top right hand corner, Nanami Kento is smoothly written. As if he’d wanted you to discover it yourself, instead of hearing it from his lips.

You trace it, and smile. 

[frenchkisstheabyss]

୨୧ ʝαɯႦɾҽαƙҽɾ (σɳҽ) ୨୧

୨୧ Pairings: rich boy!seonghwa x chubby!fem!reader, rich boy!choi san x chubby!fem!reader, rich boy!hongjoong x chubby!fem!reader, mentions of yunho

୨୧ Genre: graduate school au/smut/angst/a lil fluffy

୨୧ Summary: It was never your intention to infiltrate one of the most exclusive social circles at your new university, seducing rich boys to get who and what you want. Wait, no, it was.

୨୧ Word Count: 1.7k-ish

୨୧ Warnings: reader's in her villain era, demon line are wealthy low key villains too, strong language, some dom demon line/sub reader dynamics, you sleep with everyone darling, oral sex (m & f receiving), swallowing, pet names (good girl), obsession, probably a praise kink (who am I kidding? it's for sure a theme), jealousy/light possessiveness, sugar baby origins, unprotected sex, a lil drop of rough sex, marking, fingering, mention of multiple orgasms, public spicy stuff, light choking, scratching, nibbling, dry humping, & that's it, babes.

୨୧ A/N: This baby has sorta just been chilling in the drafts cause I kinda get nervous to post sometimes but I'm gonna let her be free now. This one focuses on Hwa moreso but Joong and San will get their time too. Yunho's also a part of this, just not quite yet. So, yes, I hope you like it!

୨୧ Part Two is Here ୨୧

Observe a weekly study session held by three best friends. It takes place every Sunday, almost ritualistically so, at 3:00pm sharp in the apartment of ringleader Kim Hongjoong. Situated at the top floor of an old university office turned luxury apartment building, it has a vintage charm to it that somehow makes it feel more absurdly expensive than it already is. 

Observe that, despite their long held agreement that this is a “study” session, no one’s actually studying. Not Choi San lounging in the brown Italian leather chair, mindlessly chewing on one of the legs of his round rimmed glasses when he should be wearing them instead. 

Not Hongjoong painstakingly rearranging the shoes by the door. Seonghwa’s black Dior Oxfords can’t go near Hongjoong’s custom leather Prada sneakers. They are custom after all. 

Not Seonghwa who’s leaning by the window doodling on the crisp pages of his $200 copy of the Netter Atlas of Human Anatomy, an act that would be blasphemous to someone like him on any other day.

But no one’s doing anything they’d do on a normal day because this isn’t a normal day. They’re distracted, unable to peel their minds free from the events of last night and it’s all your fault. 

Staring down at the space between his legs, San can only think about the fact that you were there. You, the new girl with your pretty face and soft cheeks. Cheeks that were even softer as he gently cupped them, pressing the tip of his cock to the back of your throat.

The way that you whimpered, spit dripping from the corners of your mouth, is etched into his memory. If he could rewind time he’d do it over and over just to hear those same whimpers muffled by his cum filling your cheeks. You swallowed him so well, not spilling a drop.

“Such a good girl” he’d whispered, petting your hair as your head lay in his lap. Such a good, good girl. 

By the window, Seonghwa’s still sketching away. The level of intensity and focus on his face does wonders to make it appear as if the motion of his hand has even a shred of intent behind it. None of it means anything, just a half hearted attempt at busying a brain that keeps reminding him how he fucked you against the very window he leans upon. This exact spot actually. 

You, with your plush body and sweet voice had begged, as his lips met yours, “Please don’t stop.” It was pure bliss to have your nails digging into his forearms, the walls of your deliciously warm pussy clenching around him.

You were wet enough that your thighs were almost too slippery to grip when he parted them to sink in deeper. No girl has ever been that needy for him before, so desperate to be ruined by him. Fuck, he wants to ruin you. 

“I need a drink” Hongjoong huffs, rushing off to the kitchen. Drinking’s never been something he’s just done. He considers self medication through alcohol to be silly but what else is he meant to do? He needs something to overwhelm his palate and kill the nagging craving to taste you on his tongue.

You, with your bright eyes and innocent smile, had hopped your cute ass on the counter and let him drink from your pussy until he saw stars. How adorable you’d been, kicking your feet each time his tongue stimulated your sensitive clit, his fingers teasing your sweet spot. “One more for me” he cooed and you gave him exactly what he wanted. More.

It’s all any of them want now. More, more, more. They made a promise to each other that what happened last night could only ever happen again if you were all together. The four of you. Not three. Certainly not two. The boys would do with you what best friends do with all things, share, but sharing’s much easier said than done when you don’t truly want to. 

Seonghwa slams his book shut, snapping back to reality at a speed too dizzying for the others. “I need to go” Seonghwa announces, scrambling to shove his things into his bag. San sits up in the chair, popping his glasses back on.

“Go? Where are you going?”

“I, uh, I have to go look for something. I’ll see you guys later.”

Hongjoong steps back into the living room just in time to hear the door slam as Seonghwa exits. “Where’s he off to?” A question with only one logical answer that pisses San off the second it dawns on him.

“Where do you think?”

The scholarships aren’t nearly enough. They were enough to get you here but being able to stay? That’s a different story. And so you find yourself here on a Sunday evening, picking up hours at the university’s library to make some extra money.

It’s a grueling schedule. Weekdays waitressing at a five star restaurant, weekends at the library, and every waking hour outside of that spent with your face buried in your books. Well, almost every waking hour. Lately you’ve managed to find time for other things.

Wheeling a cart full of books down one of the aisles, you nearly run over some girl’s feet. “Hey, watch it!” she shouts, shooting you a look that says she wants to tear your head off. “I’m really sorry” you apologize, slinking to the side to let her squeeze past.

“These shoes cost more than your rent, you know that?” she spits before storming off in the other direction.

Everyone’s like that here, always throwing their money in your face. Mommy and daddy’s money anyway. You don’t have what they do, it’s like they can smell it on you, and they’ll never let you forget it. “These shoes cost more than your rent, you know that?” you mock, picking up a book to slip onto one of the shelves. “They’re fucking hideous anyway.” 

“Uh, hey, everything okay?” a voice asks from behind you. You jump, nearly tripping over one of the cart’s wheels. Seonghwa grabs you by the arm before you lose your footing. Your knight in shining armor. Well, a cardigan really but close enough, right?

“Oh my god, Seonghwa. You can’t sneak up on me like that. You’re gonna give me a heart attack.”

“It’s a library” he laughs, straightening out your shirt, “I thought we were supposed to be quiet.”

“Not that quiet! What are you doing here anyway?”

That came out a bit harsher than you intended. Thankfully Seonghwa finds it cute when you’re sassy. “Yunho told me you work here on weekends and I thought…I wanted to see you.” “See me?” you ask, the book now clutched in your arms like a stuffed animal.

Seonghwa moves between you and the cart, pinning you against one of the shelves. This position feels familiar, a flash of heat rushing over your body and settling between your legs. Seonghwa toys with the hem of your short skirt, his knuckles brushing your exposed thigh.

“Do you like it?”

“Hmm?”

“Working two jobs. Do you like it?”

“Honestly, I hate it.” You draw in a sharp breath when his fingertips touch the marks he left behind on you last night. Sneaking both hands beneath your skirt, he traces your hips, relishing in the fullness of them.

Your thighs part and he carefully eases his knee between them, the moist cotton of your panties all that separates your aching core from his slacks. Seonghwa leans in to nibble at your bottom lip, “Then quit.” “Hwa, you know I can’t, ah…” you squeak, the book tumbling to the ground as he slowly grinds you along his leg.

He kisses you tenderly, angling you forward to stimulate your clit in just the right way. Seonghwa can already feel you soaking through his pants. You get wet so easily for him and it eats away at his self control. “Quit” he repeats, “I can get you a job at one of my father’s offices. His secretaries there don’t really do anything. You can kind of just sit there and be pretty. I know you can do that.”

Letting go of your waist, he pulls back enough to watch how perfectly your tits sit as you ride his thigh. “Look at you, doing so well already.” 

The quiet one. That’s how Yunho described Seonghwa before you met him. He’s quiet but no more innocent than the others are. Never let that innocent exterior fool you, he has a switch and when it flips he’s someone you won’t even recognize.

That switch, you can see it flipping on and off. His eyes bright with admiration one second and darkening with lust the next. There’s something dangerous about him but you aren’t exactly harmless now, are you? 

“You’d do that for me?” you ask, taking his hand and pressing it to your cheek. You nuzzle into his palm, taking his thumb between your lips. “Of course I would. I’d…” he loses his train of thought as you start sucking his thumb, the rhythm of your hips picking up speed.

“Anything you want.”

You can feel his pulse quickening. See his face taking on a pink hue. Your breathing grows shallow, the tension building in your core making your body shudder. “So close” you whine, running his hand down to your neck, “I want you to make me cum.” 

Anything you want. Anything for you. Seonghwa holds you by the neck, his other hand slipping into your panties. “Cum for me then like a good girl. Like my good girl.”

There’s a chance someone could hear you. Between the splashing of his fingers in your juices and the moans that spill out from your lips onto his, there’s more than enough noise to draw a little attention. That’s what makes it hotter. What has his cock straining against his pants and your eyes glossing over as the tension finally snaps.

Ruin you, that’s what he wanted to do, and look at you now, coming undone so wonderfully. How can he be anything short of obsessed with you? 

“So gorgeous when you’re falling apart.”

“Only when I’m falling apart?” you ask, leaning forward to rest your head on his shoulder. Seonghwa wraps an arm around your waist, kissing you on the forehead.

“No,” he sighs, “And I think that might be the death of me.”

[everythingmp3]

being adult Vans controversially young gf headcanons

(sfw + nsfw)

I’ve had this in my drafts for a while and thought I’d just put it out there in honor of those new pics of her that surfaced earlier! some things were alluded to/mentioned in my fics for her, I just wrote down whatever came to mind, this is purely for fun, so here u go <3

sfw:

she was definitely nervous as hell during your first date, like to a degree where she almost felt sick because she was so into you. which you used to your advantage: touching her hand during the conversation and batting your eyelashes at her, tilting your head and smiling, all of it, so you could watch her get increasingly flustered

in general you have her wrapped around your finger, she’s utterly defenseless against the effect you have on her and she can’t deny that she loves it, how weak you make her feel

there is a distinct best friend dynamic that only adds to your compatibility as lovers, whenever something crazy or funny happens to you during the day you always think "i can´t wait to tell her about this later”, you could talk for hours on end and still have things to say to each other

she constantly makes fun of you for being on your phone too much. whenever she catches you sitting somewhere scrolling aimlessly she teases the fuck out of you for it, she’ll make you show her your screen time to say shit like “do you see that? 5 hours down the drain”

she does not get off on the age gap, it just happened to be larger, but you love to joke about it to piss her off.. like when she tells you a story from ten years ago and you drop a casual “while you were doing that, I was still in school”, and she usually shuts it down with a “stop! that’s horrible!” but secretly she enjoys it when you mess with her

she is not obvious with her jealousy, sometimes she even enjoys seeing women flirt with you (when it´s not too obnoxious), she likes showing you off but! what makes her absolutely livid is when a woman close to her age has the audacity to do it…younger women are fine but if some older woman eyes you up and down it´s over. she gives them the death stare and pulls you closer or kisses you

and men. let’s just say any man who has the guts to stare at you or hit on you when she´s there is leaving that interaction scarred for life (not literally but spiritually for sure)

your favorite random act of affection is kissing her her face. you take advantage of the fact that she doesn’t wear makeup up and kiss her cheeks or temple or nose whenever you feel like it; her go to affectionate thing is pulling you close from behind and just holding you like that for a few seconds, her head resting on your shoulder

Van is tough, she usually keeps her cool, but the one thing that makes her panic is seeing you in physical pain, especially when you cry or god forbid sob in front of her. it shatters her heart because she wants to fix it immediately and hates knowing that she can’t just magically take the pain away from you, but she knows exactly how to comfort you, holding you and tending to you with patience

you’re always her number one priority. if you’re having a rough day she’ll close the store early so she can go upstairs with you and comfort you, she won’t even let you protest bc it’s not a discussion to her, in general she takes it very seriously when you’re going through depressive moods, she’s a silly person but that humor vanishes when she senses that you’re actually not doing well

over the years her ptsd has gotten better but it’s still there in some ways, and one thing that she noticed is that her nightmares became way less frequent since you started sleeping in the same bed. and even when she does have them, they’re much easier to bear when she wakes up and sees you laying there next to her. in general you both opened up to each other a lot about issues you never told anyone about before

she became your personal chauffeur very quickly after you started dating (even if you have your own car, doesn´t matter), she likes the chivalry of it, so if you´re at a friend´s place and it’s gotten late or you leave a concert late at night, you won´t have to walk or take public transport or an uber bc she will be there, waiting down the street to pick you up <3

cinema dates, obviously. and I think you definitely discuss the films you saw all the way home afterwards and get wrapped up in heated discussions when you have differing opinions, when you like certain actors that the other person doesn´t, etc. (her getting kinda jealous when you think that an actress close to her age is hot, you asking her “be honest, would you?” about the younger ones. or if you both find someone hot you joke about inviting them to be your third)

I think being with a younger partner whom she feels protective over would make her more romantic, she´d catch herself saying things like "my sweet angel" or "my heart" to you in a dreamy tone and think what the fuck did I just call her... because she´s not used to being so dramatic with her affection but you love it bc it´s clearly very genuine

after a while of dating you convinced her to let you be big spoon sometimes and you love it, just burying your face in her neck, wrapping your arms around her and dozing off like that.

she’s a hugeee baby when she’s sick, whenever she catches a light cold she acts like she’s on the brink of death (and maybe she plays it up a little bc she likes when you coddle her and give her all of your attention)

even though she’s older than you, she’s definitely not much more mature and it’s kinda funny to you that someone over 40 has the vibe of a teenager at times and you make sure to tease her about it (like her atrocious eating habits that slowly got better once you started seeing each other)

you hang around the store sometimes, helping her out here and there, keeping her company, and you loveee how jealous some regular customers of hers get who clearly have a crush on her. you make a point of calling her “babe” or “my love” or other terms of endearment in front of them, kissing her, touching her, and just watching them pretend they aren´t bothered by it

it makes sense to me that her love of vintage film stuff also extends to photography, so I’m sure she has a film camera that she takes with her whenever you go out together, especially when you’re in nature or in a different city (she sneakily takes beautiful candids of you bc she knows you’d tell her to stop if she put the camera right in your face too often)

you´re the kind of couple that silently judges other people with just a shared look, whenever someone acts a fool around you, you just grin at each other while suppressing the multitude of jokes you both could come up with in the moment, saving them for later when you can debrief and laugh

you’re a very domestic couple, you love going out for dinner etc. but you definitely enjoy being homebodies together, nothing is better to you than coming home to each other after a long day and spending the rest of the evening on the couch or in bed together <3 (she loves when you fall asleep with your head in her lap, something about it is so endearing to her)

you sometimes introduce her to some lesbian pop culture bc she’s so out of the loop and she usually pretends like she doesnt care for it but then a few days later you catch her watching the film or listening to the song that you recommended to her

I also think she might “ironically” watch lesbian dating shows with you and develop some very strong opinions once she gets into it, she’d be so serious about it and you’d end up watching her while she watches the TV bc her reactions are more entertaining to you (you’d also probably have to explain a good amount of slang to her that the contestants use, her turning to you and asking things like what the fuck is a “situationship?”)

you’re a huge gift giver with her her! whenever you see a shirt in a store that she might like you just get it, same with little things like her favorite flowers or preferred drinks, you always think of her even when she’s not with you and it’s one of the things that makes her feel deeply loved by you

she´s obsessed with your scent. almost in a primal way, she can´t get enough.. a big reason of why she lets you steal all of her clothes is so that they end up smelling like you (she also definitely has a thing for perfume/cologne, she loves when the scent lingers on her bedsheets or when she hugs you and smells it, it’s addictive to her)

you got into the habit of tracing her scars whenever she’s sitting close and talking to you and it always makes her melt, feeling your fingertips on her cheek, it’s impossible for her to feel less attractive bc of the scars in those moments

nsfw: 

submissive. cannot emphasize this enough. there is nothing dominant about Van, yes she can take charge and be aggressive, but even when she tops, she does not want to make you bend to her will, her priority is always to give you what you need she’s not the mean dom type, wrong address

any order you give is immediately taken. nothing is more gratifying to her than feeling like she´s giving you exactly what you need and more. exceeding expectations is her goal, always, so the nights where you cum multiple times are her favorite

she´s definitely into being overpowered/dominated. with an age difference I think the contrast of you being younger but manhandling her is unbearably hot to her, it drives her insane, she loves when you grab her all over or tear her clothes off or push her up against furniture/walls, when you mess her hair up and get all over her, when you kiss her so hard she has trouble breathing, I think deep down that´s all she really wants: to be wanted violently.

dirty talk. she loves whispering sweet things to you during sex because she knows that her voice gets to you every time, it’s a sure way for her to gain the upper hand, to talk to you while she’s pleasing you

tits person through and through. Van knows what she likes and she will never ever get tired of grabbing your tits when you’re making out or kissing/sucking them during sex, or just admiring them when you’re getting undressed or showering together

her other favorite part of your physique is your back. her hands always find their way under your shirt when you´re sitting or standing next to her, she loves caressing you and running her hand up and down your spine, during sex she also loves having her hands on your lower back when the position allows her to

definitely loves switching! she knows she´s gotten good at pleasing over the years and she loves to show off and make you feel good, but sometimes nothing turns her on more than seeing you get that look that tells her she’s about to be devoured.

morning sex. she’s an early riser and loves the soft, slow kind of intimacy that you share during those early hours- she loves it when you’re still half asleep while she goes down on you or touches you all over, gently, to wake you up, she looves how endearing you look/sound in those moments

period sex. she loves giving you head when you’re on your period bc it helps you with the pain and she secretly loves the primal feeling of it, makes her feel deeply connected to you (callback to her writing i love u on Tais arm, shes never been scared of blood)

high sex. I think Van definitely dabbles in weed and I think she loves how being high heightens all the sensations, so I can see you getting high together and just feeling each other up for hours, losing track of time, lazy slow sex that relaxes you, lots of laughing/giggling in between

degradation. nothing crazy, but it does turn her on when you get a bit mean with it, when you tease her about being too good for her, too young, etc. when you make her feel a bit pathetic, it is impossible for her not to feel hot all over when you playfully make her feel inferior bc deep down she does take pride in it, that she got you even though she feels like you´re a bit out of her league

definitely loves missionary, the intimacy of it, kissing while fucking is her thing, for the same reason she loves sitting upright when you ride her, kissing your neck, holding you tight, chest to chest, she’s definitely intense with it, needs to have that deep emotional component to really lose herself

hair pulling. anything to do with her hair is an easy way to get her to do whatever you want, in bed but not just there, and you love it, always running your hands through her hair when you hug or kiss. (nothing makes her fall asleep faster than feeling your fingertips on her scalp unless it turns her on too much and you have to finish what you started by targeting her one obvious weak spot)

finger sucking. once you figured that one out you were relentless about it, sometimes when she touches your face you instinctively open your mouth for her and it drives her insane

she´s sensitive as hell. her skin, her erogenous zones, all of it. it´s endearing to you how easy it is to get her aroused, sometimes accidentally brushing her nipples through her shirt leaves her having to recover for a few seconds, kissing her neck makes her lose her train of thought immediately, a hand on her thigh makes her wince, you love warmer seasons with her because of this, touching her exposed skin out in public to get her riled up before you go home

on that note I think she definitely needs to recover for at least a few minutes after an orgasm before she can go again because it’s that intense for her

also, overstimulation. to put it plainly: I think every once in a while she just wants to be fucked senseless by you. Van is prone to overthinking and worrying, so I think it is exactly what she needs sometimes, for you to tend to her needs until her mind is blank and she can only concentrate on you, how good you´re making her feel. and to you it´s deeply pleasing to see her lose herself to your touch, it’s fun for you to see just how far you can push her (which is pretty far. she´d let you do whatever you want in those moments)

big into sensuality! sometimes making out and feeling you press down on her fully clothed, grinding against her, the heavy breathing and heat of it all, is enough for her to feel satisfied; she likes getting worked up without always having it lead to sex, I can also see her being into edging (both on the receiving and giving end)

the only “violence” she indulges in during sex is leaving/receiving marks, anything like choking or or slapping you with too much force is out of the question, hard No for her, she´d rather let you do it to her.

on that note: biting. it really turns her on when you get possessive and bite her, her neck, her shoulders, her thighs during sex (she loves when she takes her clothes off and finds random bite marks) but even outside of the bedroom she loves when you randomly use teeth when you´re kissing her, or when you´re sitting together and you get the random urge to lightly bite her arm, sometimes she lovingly calls you her little vampire/animal

public sex. for example out in nature when it´s clear that nobody else is around (I mean, she’s had some practice with sex in the woods..)

she never got into toys on her own but one time when she was over at your place you swatted her hand away from your bedside drawer, which made her curious about what exactly it is that you use to masturbate - which lead to her using your vibrator on you and loving it, just holding it in place while watching you come undone (maybe it became part of your sex life, using it on each other or together)

lots of spontaneity, sometimes when you spend a Sunday inside in bed you might fuck a few times a day, other times when you´re tired and have a lot to do you might go a few days without it, it´s all very relaxed and intuitive 

she is obsessed with your moans. it´s the hottest thing in the world to her, sometimes she only wants to fuck to hear the sounds you make.

she´s never been into porn (if anything she can appreciate a good old vintage playboy) but! sometimes you watch a film that has a surprisingly good lesbian sex scene and forget about the film the second the scene is over because you got too turned on perhaps you end up recreating what you just saw

I could probably go on but I will leave it you to imagine more for her <3 (also I say gf but that´s just my perspective, this could all easily apply to a nonbinary reader too)

[thrillered]

"You Know I Mountain Dew It For Ya" | Spencer Agnew X Reader | Pt. 4

Pt. 4: Ignoring

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-

-

-

Spencer texted you a couple times last night, only to be met with short responses of, “cool”, “ok”, and “sure”. It was driving him crazy, you never texted like that, even when you first met each other you were always an enthusiastic texter. He even tried calling you and you let it ring, sending a “busy” text when it went to voicemail. 

You weren’t busy. Unless you count pacing your living room as being busy. It was killing you to act this coldly towards Spencer, every time your phone vibrated and the “Spenceyyy <3” contact popped up your heart soared, then your stomach dropped. 

You felt like maybe ignoring him was a mistake, that you were pushing your best friend away. But, you’ve spent so long repressing your true feelings for him that now that they’ve surfaced it's become too much and maybe some time away would help you decide what to do. 

You considered your options as you drove to work. You could A: talk to him about your feelings during your next movie night or B: re-repress your feelings and live the rest of your life as just his best friend and more than likely have to watch him fall in love with someone that isn’t you. You think option B might kill you, so option A it is. 

You got to the office, early as usual, walking in and heading straight to the kitchen to continue your tradition, making a big pot of coffee for the rest of the office so it's hot and ready for them. This became part of your routine a long time ago and you’re always happy to do something nice for your coworkers. 

Having your coffee made you sat down at your desk, settling your headphones atop your head to play some music while you eased into your workday. It wouldn’t be too bad today since you had a half day anyway, having a dentist appointment at 1:45. Plus, you didn’t have to shoot anything today since they accomodated your appointment when they made your shoot block this week. 

You were finishing a draft for a script you’ve been writing as people started to make their way in, lifting their mugs in thanks as they passed your desk. You sent the script to Courtney and Patrick so that they could give you feedback.

Your first real responsibility was a meeting regarding your next shoot block. You walked to the conference room and sat down, pulling up your calendar and a doc to take notes. Spencer, Ian, Kiana, and a few others joined you, pulling out their laptops as well. 

You tried not to make eye contact with Spencer, simply nodding at his words instead of responding or interjecting. The meeting was going smoothly, they informed you that you were going to be in quite a few more videos than usual the next shoot block in response to your newfound musical fame because they think it will increase viewership.

“One last thing Y/N, we wanted to know if you would be interested in guesting on Smosh Mouth this week? You can talk about your music journey and what this fame is like and give some insider information about Espresso.“ Kiana stated shuffling through some papers. 

“We know you already promised a live stream on Instagram but we think it would be a great episode. They were going to film another weird subreddits episode but we can do that whenever, we’d be able to film and turnaround the video within the week of shooting it.” Spencer added, trying to lock eyes with you. 

“Yeah that sounds awesome” You agreed, knowing it meant you could be more vague on the live stream today, giving you more time to figure out how you’re gonna go about the “Spenspresso” allegations.

You went over some more logistical stuff before parting ways, going back to your desk and putting your headphones back on, hoping it will signal to Spencer that you don’t want to talk. 

The rest of your morning was filled with other meetings, sketch writing with Courtney, and you even went over to the art department to help with a few props. Before long everyone broke for lunch, which was your queue to leave. You packed your bag while everyone was getting ready for lunch and slipped out while everyone was occupied. 

–

Spencer’s eyes darted around the lobby, trying to land on your figure, only to turn up empty. He did a lap around the office looking for you, finishing at your desk where he noticed your stuff was gone and you had left for the day. 

“Looking for Y/N?” Alé asked, pulling out a drawer of your desk and setting some papers that you requested inside. “She had an appointment so she left early.” 

At this point Spencer was even more confused and frankly just hurt. You usually told him everything and it's been days without any real communication, you won’t make eye contact with him, and now you left without saying goodbye. He couldn’t take it anymore, he felt like he was losing his best friend. He didn’t know what he was supposed to do, the past few days felt like purgatory, like he was being punished for some reason. Every hour he spent without you his heart ached.

He searched for Angela, knowing if anyone could help him it was her. Outside of himself Angela was one of your closest friends and he knew you two talked about basically everything. 

“Hey Angela, you busy?” He asked, approaching the table she was sitting at with Amanda and Erin. 

“Just eating,” She began, “If this is work related it can wait though, I have 20 more minutes of lunch.” 

“It’s actually a personal matter but I, uh, I think you can help me.” Spencer explained.

“Okay,” Angela agreed, confused, looking back to the table. “I’ll be back.” 

Spencer guided Angela to the games pod and sat on the couch as she pulled a chair up. 

“So what's up Spence?” 

He sighed hard, trying to figure out the best way to approach the topic. “It’s about Y/N..” He began, glancing up to Angela, “She’s just been kinda weird lately and unlike herself and it’s kinda worrying me, I guess.” 

Angela couldn’t help but laugh, she knew exactly why you were being weird. You had spent 2 hours on facetime last night expressing every emotion you’ve been feeling lately. She knew about your love predicament, granted, she tried to convince you that avoiding Spencer wasn’t going to help anything. 

“Why are- Why are you laughing?” Spencer questioned, laughing nervously. 

“You two are idiots, you guys seriously just need to fucking talk.” Angela reassured. “You didn’t do anything wrong if that's what you’re wondering. You know I love Y/N but she avoids issues like this so you gotta just, kinda, corner her? About it? If that makes any sense.”

“Thanks Ang,” Spencer began, mulling this information around in his head.

“Well if that’s all solved I’m going back to enjoy my,” she trails off, checking her apple watch and doing the math in her head, “14 minutes left of lunch.” 

Spencer laughed as she walked off, really hoping she was right and you weren’t upset at him. Feeling slightly better about the whole situation he finished his lunch at his desk, playing your music in his headphones, feeling more relaxed as he listened to your voice.

–

You pressed the ‘Go Live’ button on instagram, watching the notification go out and people rush in. You said hey and talked casually for a few minutes as more people joined. When there were a good few thousand you began.

“Alright, we all know why we’re here, you wanna talk about Espresso.” You started, remembering the smosh mouth episode you quickly added, “Just to preface I’m doing an exclusive smosh mouth episode that is coming out next week where I’ll be going more in depth and you’ll be able to ask me questions through a community tab on youtube! So if I don’t mention something, don't fret! There will be more answers. But for now, what do you wanna know?” You asked, opening the floor to questions. 

Hundreds flooded in, almost too fast for you to read any. Choosing a mild one you read, “How long have I been working on Espresso? Great question, I’d say about…. Eight? Months?” You estimated. 

–

The stream was easy if you ignored all comments about Spencer. A lot of people were respectful though, and asked you interesting questions about your career and the technical aspect of Espresso. You ended the stream after about 15 minutes, reminding everyone you’d be answering questions on smosh mouth and they’d be able to watch it next week. 

Since it was friday night you decided to treat yourself, you opened a bottle of wine and sipped on a glass while you waited for your postmates, you had ordered your favorite sushi take-out. You deserved it after the stressful week you’ve had post Espresso release.

You were lounging on your couch, casually playing animal crossing on your tv when you heard a knock on your door. You grabbed some cash to give an additional tip before opening the door with a “Thank you so much!”. Unfortunately, it was not the delivery driver but Spencer. He was standing in your doorway holding a bag from your favorite bakery. 

“Hey Y/N, can we, uh, can we talk?”

[theplanetsandstars]

Touch. F.W

A/n: this is very short and rushed but I needed it out of my drafts. English isn’t my first language and I apologize for any grammar errors. This is shit angst but that’s what I love <3

Summary: You and Fred have been dating for a couple of months. Now that it’s public he’s acting less affectionate towards you, why?

Fred Weasley was unlike anyone you had been with before. Those who had you before only wanted your body, not your heart. The showed you off like a prized possession instead of treasuring you. But Fred was caring and told you to express you’re feelings and never hold anything from him. That he was there for you for all you’re pretty and all you’re ugly he would stick around, that’s what he would say. That was even before your relationship with him went public he was so sweet.So why wasn’t he the same around his friends?

Sure around yours he was touchy-super touchy. Always had his hand on you no matter what, whether in was on you’re thigh, the small of you’re back or even just snakes around you’re body that was his love language, physical touch. It scared you at first the touch, because it usually came with intentions. But with Fred it was different, it was affectionate.

So of course it meant something to you when he almost refused to touch you when his friends were around.

One day you were going off to hogesmade with you’re friends and without Fred, just a girls day. But you knew that he would be out with his brother and friends as well. When you entered the three broomsticks with youre friends you immediately recognized the red head sitting with his friends in the far back corner he simply smiled at you. No big hug or even just a wave just a smile which you didn’t return back

Luckily you’re friends helped you forget all about it but, that’s wasn’t enough of a distraction to prevent you from seeing him wave at some blonde Gryffindor who walked in. That’s the first time an instance like this has happened and even though it bothered you to you’re core, there was no point in arguing with him, you didn’t want to be a bother.

About a week later you were heading to one of his quidditch matches cheering as loudly as you could for you’re boyfriend. Once it was over Gryffindor had won, as expected you were so excited and proud of you’re boyfriend who had worked so hard for this. You rushed to the outside of the changing rooms to wait for him where many other people were waiting as well. “Hey! Who are you here for?” You heard a girl ask you turned and saw the blonde who Fred waved to from the three broomsticks you smiled at her “Hey! I actually here for Fred” you said and hee smile dropped a little “oh I didn’t know Freddie had a girlfriend” she said and that made you’re heart drop

Not only at the nickname but also at the fact that they’ve probably talked and hung out but he’s never mentioned you or the fact that he has a girlfriend? You needed to leave you could not see him when you were like this, reafy to argue and yell at him but he’s cluleless and just won a match you thought. It’s better to simply distance yourself for right now. With that in mind you turned around and pushed through the crowd of people and ran back to you’re dorm.

Unbeknownst to you Fred did look for you. Looked everywhere high and low wasn’t listening to what anyone was saying because he was trying to find his girl. Once he couldn’t find you he saw Aubrey, the blonde Gryffindor girl and decided to talk with her all the way back to the Gryffindor common room where again, you were no where to be found. Fred was starting to get irritated just wanting to find you and be in Youre arms. He turned to Audrey who kept talking about quidditch match “hey have you seen y/?” He asked interrupting her mid sentence “uh yeah she was waiting for you outside the locker rooms but then she just left” a frown appeared on Fred’s face you wouldn’t just leave like that you had reason “uh any chance she said where she was going?” He asked and Sophia simply shook her head no

Fred decided to look for you in you’re dorm knocking anxiously “Hey love it’s me open up please” you had been crying in Youre dorm but you couldn’t let me know that “one sec!” You called out as you quickly composed yourself and cleaned up you’re dorm a bit “hi Fred” you said once you opened the door. He just looked down at you and admired you, although it had only been a couple of hours he missed you so much. He bent down to kiss you but you turned you’re head the other way “um Fred I’m really not in the mood, I’m really tired” you said while looking down.

He flashed a sad smile at you “no intention dove I wanted to kiss you just to kiss you” he placed two fingers under you’re chin and brought you to look at him, but tears were slowly forming in you’re eyes. Once Fred noticed this he immediately started wiping You’re tears. “Hey hey love, it’s just me you’re okay it’s okay” you turned around ashamed that you allowed yourself to cry in front of him “M’fine im sorry im just-I don’t Even have a reason to be crying” you tried to laugh it off while Fred simply soothed you and brought you to sit down on the edge of you’re bed.

“Love I know you said it’s nothing and it’s fine if it’s nothing but it doesn’t seem like that, no one cries for no reason, so talk to me please, I’m always here for you” you tried you’re best to smile at him “m’fine i promise i don’t know hormones or something but I’m fine” you lied, he looked disappointed he knew you were hiding something and he just wanted you to tell him “so why weren’t you outside the locker room then like you said you’d be?” Fuck, lie quick “I wasn’t feeling very good I actually left a little before the game ended” you lied again but Fred didn’t want to pressure you any further.

“Okay c’mon let’s go to sleep” he said with a smile on his face. You two had gotten accustomed to leaving you’re belongings in each others dorm. You just smiled and nodded while he made his lips meet you’re temple before getting ready to sleep.

———-

The next day you woke up and reached for Fred, wanting to feel comforted. Only thing was that he was gone, he left before you had gotten up. Even though you guys didn’t have a sex you wondered why you felt used, off. But you got up and got ready for you’re day.

“Hey y/n!” Luna smile at you “hey Luna how are you?” You asked her and her smile dropped “i should be asking you that don’t you think?” You loved Luna but sometime you truly had no idea what she was talking about “what?” You politely asked. “Oh well I simply thought that you’re boyfriend leaving early in the morning from you’re dorm to hang out with Sophia wasn’t a very nice thing to do” Sophia, the blonde Gryffindor, what the fuck was he doing with her? “Oh I didn’t even realize” you told Luna and she simply frowned and walked away

You went through you’re day wondering what you had done to fuck things up with Fred. We’re you too much? Too hard to love? Or not enough and that’s why he spent so much time with Sophia. You’re thoughts were interrupted by Harry, “Hey y/n you alright? You seem a bit well, off” you put on a smile “yeah yeah im fine what’s up with you?” You asked “okay well you better be alright Fred said you were going to the party with him tonight” he said happily. Harry had always been a good friend so of course he didn’t realize what he’d said would affect you. “Oh. Oh yeah! Um of course I’ll be there” you said catching yourself. You and Harry continued walking through the halls when you saw Fred with his group of friends.

You’re face dropped and you stopped waking. “Um I’ll meet up with you later Harry alright?” You told him before turning away, but it was too late Fred had already spotted you and excused himself to go after you.

“Love wait up!” He called out but you continued walking.But of course Fred’s height and legs helped him watch up to you rather quickly he stood in front of you looking down to meet you’re eyes but you couldn’t look at him. Trying to escape you tried to go around him but he quickly caught you.

“Hey is this a joke? Cause it isn’t fucking funny what’s wrong?” He asked concerned “It’s nothing Fred I’m just trying to get to class go back to you’re friends yeah?” You told him “no no you’re not trying to get to class you’re trying to get away from me so can I at least know what I did?” He asked now pleading praying that you would tell him, but you didn’t if you were already too much why keep bothering him?

“It’s nothing to do with you okay? I’ve just been super stressed lately is all” you told him calmly finally getting the courage to look up at him. He frowned a little “okay dove is there anyway I can help, you know I could do you’re muffle studies homework for you” he offered “no I just need to resolve this on my own thanks though” you said with a slight smile. “ I hate to see my pretty girl like this okay? So truly if there’s anything you need love I’m here okay?” He reassured you, you simply nodded and said you’re goodbyes.

Walking through the halls all you could think of was how he called you “my girl”. If you truly were his why did he barely let anyone know? Why didn’t he show you off around his friends but was completely fine with touching you behind closed doors. Why didn’t he mention going to the party, one that he’d told Harry that you’d both attend?

How had you now ended up at that same party looking for you’re boyfriend. You decided to go to the party and finally explain to Fred you’re feelings and actions. You prepared yourself for the worst.

Even after preparing yourself-you got scared. As soon as you got to the part you started taking drinks swearing it was for “courage”.In reality at this point in the night you were trying not to see him

The common room was loud, lights and people everywhere. Fred? Nowhere to be found. He really never was going to tell you about the party. So imagine his surprise to see you

“Love?” He asked from behind you, you could smell the alcohol on his breath. Or was it yours? You were unaware at this point.

“Im so happy your here! Come say hi to everyone” he exclaimed. His face fell once he saw tears run down your cheeks.

“You don’t want me Fred. You don’t want me around your friends, so.. I don’t want you around me at all.” You whispered

Fred looked confused. Had he heard you? You didn’t stick around long enough to find out before bolting out of the common room.

———————————————————————

You woke up in Fred’s bed, how? Once you opened your eyes and realized where you were you freaked out, but the pounding in your head was enough to make you stay in his bed. He was in the shower, you had enough time to run out but you decided now or never.

He walked out of his bathroom with only a towel around his waist. “G’morning love, you doing alright?” You just smiled at him as he got dressed and then sat beside you.

“So, do you wanna talk about last night?” You made eye contact with him and nodded slowly. “Fred yesterday was not the way I wanted things to go but I do believe I meant what I said.” He looked confused “so you don’t want me around you?” Just the thought brought tears to your eyes.

“Fred I may just be dramatic but I tried to ignore it I really did, I tried to ignore the way you wouldn’t hold me around your friends, the way you never invited me around them, God I tried to ignore Sophia and how you act with her but I just can’t!” You sobbed

“Sophia? The way I act with Sophia? Love please explain I’m begging to understand you take deep breaths okay?” He said softly. That was enough to make you hide your hand in your face as you cried. “Hey, hey no let me see your pretty face, take your time. Deep breaths my love”

“Fred you know how I’ve been treated in the past , the whole physical affection thing. But you never touch me around your friends. I’m sure you don’t mean to do it to hurt me but holding me, showing me off or something would be nice.” You confessed while looking at the bed sheets, looking up to see him with a soft smile on his face.

“I love holding you alone as much as I love holding you in front of others. I have no problem holding you in front of my friends I just fought you didn’t want it! I know how you’ve been treated and I would never want to show you off like an object. Then I thought you would feel obligated for me to touch you so I’d retract. From now on I promise to always hold you in front of my friends, anyone, fuck even the entire world okay? I just need you.” He declared

“All I need is you.” He reassured

“Then what about Sophia?” You asked with your insecurities taking the best of you.

“What about her?” He asked confused

“You’ve been spending a lot of time with her lately, talking to her and acknowledging her more in public than me.” You said with a frown on your face

“You even left your dorm with me in it the other day to go to her!” You exclaimed

“Your right I have been doing those things, if I can be mean with you for one sec darling she’s been annoying me. I don’t really enjoy any other girls company besides yours. So the other day I left our dorm early” he corrected “ so I could tell her to fuck off, just more politely of course”

You laughed, your tears had stopped, Fred always knew how to do that. How to make you feel better.

“So am I still yours pretty girl?” You laughed and kissed him in response

———————————————————————Today you were supposed to go to hogesmade with Fres friends. You walked in together, hand in hand. He made sure everyone said hello to you and most importantly. His hand was on you at all times.

[elliereject]

ifhy .1

* in which ellie’s obsession relationship with you begins to sour as your romance with your new boyfriend seems to flourish. it seems she’ll stop at nothing to ensure your happiness, (which you’ll find with her, obviously) even if it means hurting you in the process.

* lowkey obsessive ellie, (I LIKE EM’ A LITTLE CRAZY!), angst + comfort (next chapter(s), infidelity, unrequited feelings yet also mutual pining (just read it like, idk idk I forgot how to do these),lmk if I missed anything!

* im back, ok not really this has been rotting in my drafts forever and I was reading it back and I was like damn I lowk cooked with this. It’s unfinished as of RN but this is only 1/3 of the fic im just splitting it up so u don’t have to wait months,,for it..like my other fics..DONT ASK ME ABT THOSE, cuz I don’t got an answer. IN THE MEAN TIME ENJOY THIS! <3

* mdni (but like if u do wtvr, nothing crazy happens in this chapter)

wc ~ 1.6k

pt. 2 here

Ellie Williams fucking hated you.

Surprisingly, she didn’t at first. In fact, she was in love with you, bordering infatuation.

She had seen you for the first time at the local bookstore before the semester started, you were flipping through a book about time and relativity with a concentrated look on your face. She smiled to herself when she saw you push up onto your toes to reach for another book but to no avail. She took this as an opportunity to walk up to you and reach over your head to grab it, making sure to flex her lean, tattooed arm before placing it in your hand.

Her jade eyes locked on yours and your face heated immediately, you mumbled a “Thank you.” Before scurrying past her to the checkout.

Imagine her surprise when on the first day of classes, she walks into her astrophysics course and sees you, doodling in your notebook with that same concentrated look on your face.

Of course, she sits next to you, flashing that charming smile that has sweat gathering at your hands. She tells you her name then asks for yours and learns about your major, favourite course, and how you’re staying in a little apartment just outside the campus before more students and your professor filed in. You didn’t know why but you just felt so comfortable telling her things, She laughed at your corny jokes and made even cornier ones, and she admired the doodles that covered your notebook and the little duck pen you used.

You didn’t want to speak too soon, but it was safe to say you were harbouring a tiny bit of a crush on her.

Ellie on the other hand, was completely ready to admit it. She felt her love for you grow each second she was around you. Your smile quite literally felt like the sun shining upon her, your laugh made her want to drop her studies of space to pick up stand-up comedy just so she could make it her job to make you laugh. In her eyes, everything you did was perfect. Her thoughts were completely consumed by you, you, you.

And for a few months, things were amazing! You had been introduced to Dina and Jesse and even spent Halloween hanging out with the trio watching horror movies and eating each other's weight in candy. When the holidays rolled around you and Ellie, along with the others, cozied up under some blankets and made fun of cheesy Hallmark movies while she tried her hardest not to interlock her hands with yours even after your pinky brushed against hers for the sixth time.

During finals, Ellie and you organized designated study days that usually ended in giggling at stupid memes on each other's phones or late-night food runs. Of course, there were lingering touches and flirtatious glances here and there but you were too shy to act on it and Ellie would rather die than make you uncomfortable so she kept you just at arm's length. Besides, she knew you were too timid to approach anyone else, so in a way she had you all to herself.

Then, you met him. Some motherfucker whose name she didn’t care to remember. However, she did remember the innate feeling of anger that surged through her body when you gushed to her about him and how he was a history major and the way his glasses framed his face perfectly and whatever the fuck else you found interesting about him.

She nodded and laughed and smiled along with you when you would drone on about him but would excuse herself to the bathroom to tend to the crescent-shaped wounds in her palms from digging her fingers into them so hard.

She tried her best to not show these negative emotions to you because she knew how much you didn’t like when she got mad but fuck was it hard. Especially that one night when you were out with him and you hadn’t replied to her texts in over 5 hours. Man did her drywall take some damage that night.

And when you finally did reply you had completely disregarded her message and went on to boast about the time you had and how gentlemanly he was. All she could do was reply with a dry “sounds like fun🙂” before she went back to throwing a tantrum around her room and tormenting that poor wall…she’d have to remember to buy some spackle before the end of the semester.

Then, there was the time she trekked over to your apartment with some pizza for a surprise movie night and saw the bouquet placed in front of your door. She set the box down to pick up the flowers and read who it was from, her body reacted before she could rethink. She tore the flowers from the beautifully wrapped packaging and stomped on them over and over and over until all that was left were broken stems and tattered petals.

Thankfully, you got home just a few minutes later and missed her outburst. You gasped when you saw the smashed flowers and asked her what had happened, she shrugged and lied easily, claiming it was like this when she got there. She let out a breath when you shook your head and sighed, saying it was probably your next-door neighbor who had always been a bit of a grouch.

She had genuinely thought she was doing a pretty good job of hiding her true feelings for both you and him but it was when you gleefully announced that he was officially your boyfriend she knew she was done for. You squealed and pulled her in for a hug but it felt like her heart had shriveled up into a clump of black coal and woosh like magic, her love for you had turned into something twisted, something possessive.

It was when you invited her over to your apartment to eat dinner with him that she had started considering the idea that you knew she had a crush on you and you were just fucking with her emotions for fun.

How could you start dating, let alone seeing some random ass motherfucker when she was right here! She knew she could treat you better than he could even dream of, she knew everything about you and she’d make it known to you how perfect she was for you, one way or another.

That night at dinner she sat uncomfortably as you fluttered around your tiny kitchen, adding last-minute touches to the spaghetti you made and despite the grumble in her tummy it felt like she had no appetite when she watched the hungry way he looked at you, as if you were a juicy steak and he was a starved wolf.

Once you were finished plating the food and placing it on the table you sat down eagerly and tried your best to mediate the obvious tension.

“Soo uh, Ellie, you’ve been really into watercolour recently right?” You beamed.

“Uh-huh.” She said dryly, twirling her spaghetti around her fork.

“Oh that’s cool, you know watercolour as an art form has been around since Egyptian times! It’s funny to think that like—Cleopatra was painting with water and grapes or something!” He spoke and you giggled like it was the funniest joke in the world. She shot you a look that said really? because she knows she could make a joke that was way funnier, and would expel your real laugh.

“That’s cool. You know how to shut the fuck up?” She mumbled into her bite of spaghetti.

“Sorry?” He asked and you gave her a sideways glance.

She smiled tightly and swallowed before answering, “Just said that’s cool!”

Dinner dragged on as he droned about the history of the Renaissance or fucking Christopher Columbus, she didn’t actually know, she tuned him out. After you cleared the plates, you ushered them into your cozy living room for a movie and when you excused yourself to the bathroom she plopped down on the couch next to him, subtly pulling out her switchblade.

“So, Kevin—“

“Actually my name—“

“I don’t give a fuck what your name is, matter fact I don’t give a fuck about you in general. What are your intentions with ★?”

The man tensed up as Ellie expertly spun the blade around in her fingers.

“Uh—I mean, she seems cool and dating her has been pr—“

“Cool?” Ellie scoffed, “She’s fucking perfect, and I hope you know whatever you have going on with her right now? It won’t last. Soon she’s gonna see you for the limp-ass motherfucker you are.”

He was taken aback, “What?—I’m sorry, did I do something to offend you?”

“Your whole existence offends me.” She rasped, inching her blade closer to his neck. “She’s not meant to be with you.”

He furrowed his brows, “You like her, don’t you?”

Ellie rolled her eyes, “You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.”

Before he could reply you were back from the bathroom and she slipped her blade back into her pocket and got up with a firm grip on his shoulder.

“What were you two talking about?” You asked as you grabbed a bag of chips from your small coffee table and tore into them.

“Oh you know, girl talk.” She smiled, digging her blunt nails into his shoulder. Translation: don’t say a fucking word.

You rolled your eyes playfully like you even had a clue of what was going on, “He’s not a girl, dumbass.”

She shrugged, stepping away from her previous seat to plop down on the other small sofa.

The rest of the night proceeded relatively smoothly, your boyfriend had been so shaken up by Ellie’s words that even with you sitting next to him he kept his distance with worried glances toward Ellie now and then. Ellie crunched on her popcorn happily and watched the movie with a satisfied smile and a chipper aura.

��� ★

🤔 shall I put out the second part? only time (and interactivity! 💝 pls don’t let this flop) will tell!

[bxeckersz]

Let You Go | Caitlin Clark x Ex gf!reader

Summary: Y/n just can’t seem to let Caitlin go.

Warnings: language

A/n: hey guys, i’m locking in and posting all my drafts today 💪🏽.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

I don’t understand. You said you’d never leave. You told me that you’d be there but you lied again to me.

It’s been 2 months since me and Caitlin broke up. Our relationship spiraled to shit after 3 years. I pick up my phone, scrolling through the photo album of her titled “Cait 💍🤍”

“I can’t do this anymore Y/n.” Caitlin yells, pinching the bridge of her nose. “What- What do you mean.” My heart drops to my stomach.

“This. Us! I can’t do this anymore. All we do is argue!” She screams, motioning between us. “Cait- please don’t say that. I- We could talk this out. Please.” I plead, grabbing a hold of her arm. Caitlin shakes her head, moving her arm.

“Cait-“ I say, tears falling. “I- i’m sorry. Please.” I beg, watching as she packs her bag. “I’m done, y/n. this shit is miserable.” She mutters, walking towards the door.

“Caitlin, please don’t walk away from me.” I cry. “I’m sorry, Y/n.” Is all she mutters before walking out and slamming the door. I notice she takes the ring and necklace off that i bought her.

All I can do is cry.

You’re always on my mind, and when it’s late at night I think of what you’re doing. Do you think of me sometimes?

Tears fall from my face as I scroll through the photo album that seems endless. I wipe my tears with the sleeve of her hoodie that i’m wearing.

I throw my phone down, sobbing louder and harder. I pull out a box from underneath my bed. It’s not just any box. It’s a box full of things that Caitlin has bought me.

I cry pulling out the items.

And when i’m feeling down, I lose all control. Emotions keep coming and i’m trying to let you go.

A teddy bear she won me at our first date to the fair.

So if you wanna talk to me again

Endless polaroid pictures of the two of us.

Don’t try to act like we were always friends

A candle she bought me because it reminded her of me.

When i’m all alone, I try to clear my mind

A charm bracelet she bought me for our one year anniversary.

But you’ll be coming back and you’ll be saying that all night

A bracelet she bought me with a ‘C’ and a basketball bead on it.

I never did you wrong. I’ve always had your side.

A matching necklace she bought me.

And you just took it all away, and make me wanna cry

A hoodie she bought me simply because it was my favorite color

And when i’m feeling down, I lose all control.

Everything in this apartment reminds me of her. I can still smell her in the air. Everyday I wait for her to arrive home from Practice.

Emotions keep coming and i’m trying to let you go

Everyday I wait for her to get home and ramble about her day.

So if you wanna talk to me again

She was my first love. and she threw it down the drain like i was nothing.

Don’t try to act like we were always friends

Sometimes I find myself doing our morning and night routine. Preparing things for her like I have the past three years.

And when i’m feeling down, I lose all control.

I even find myself buying her favorite foods and snacks when I go grocery shopping.

Emotions keep coming and i’m trying to let you go

I can’t get her off my mind. I can’t let her go. Her laugh. Her corny jokes. Her cheesy smile. The way she used to wrap her arms around me. Her touch. Her voice.

And when i’m feeling down, I lose all control.

I miss her so much. I spent three years of my life loving the same person. Catering for the same person. Just for her to turn away and throw it all away like I don’t matter.

Emotions keep coming and i’m trying to let you go.

I find myself Calling for her to open things for me. Or grab things off the top shelf. Or help me pick something you wear.

It hurts to remember she’s not with me to help anymore.

And when i’m feeling down I lose all control

I cry pulling all of the things out the box. I’ve never been this heart broken over someone. Never.

Emotions keep coming

“Please, come home.” I cry, hugging onto the stuffed teddy bear she bought me.

“please.”

And i’m trying to let you go.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Thanks for reading all the way through!

[kennarose1108]

Joel Miller x Reader !GUILTY!

*I KINDA HATE THIS STORY BUT I SPENT A LOT OF TIME WRITING IT SO I DECIDED TO POST IT INSTEAD OF KEEPING IT IN MY DRAFTS... ENJOY&lt;3*

This was new to him. New to both of you… But he wasn’t handling it well. He didn’t like the responsibility of you. He pushed everyone away and kept them a arms length away.. But somehow you were able to wiggle yourself deep into his heart. Further than anybody has since the apocalypse started.

But even though it was nice having a partner again he kind of hated it. He hated worrying about you, he hated feeling like you had to rely on him for everything (even though you told him you didn’t need to rely on him), and he hated the thought of something ever happening to you. He didn’t know what he would do if you got infected, killed… Or if you even died of a natural cause. The though just haunted him, and he hated it. So… To get you back at arms length he decided to push you away.

He had been ignoring you the last few days and it was driving you crazy. When you tried speaking to him he just grumble or grunt at you before walking off. You were confused on what you did wrong.

And the shared home you two had felt lonely and quiet because he was working so late and getting up so early. He was avoiding you, and you wanted to know why. So you waited for him. You were exhausted but you waited for him. It took a long time but he finally came home. You were sitting in the Livingroom and you watched him take off his jacket before making eye contact with you. “Joel. Sit.” You ordered. He looked away, “I’m tired.” Wow. He speaks. Granted it was only two words but it was the most he said to you in days. “I don’t care. Sit.” You ordered. He sighed and looked around for a moment, taking off his gloves and putting it in the pockets of his jacket that he just hung up.

He decided to lean against the doorframe and you scoffed. “You… You are a stubborn man.” You say while shaking your head. Normally he would’ve shot a remark back, saying something on the line of ‘is that really a shock’ or ‘you’re just finding this out’… But he kept his mouth shut and he continued to stare at you.

And because of him standing you decided to stand up yourself. You took a few steps towards him, still keeping a distance, and you cross your arms over your chest. “What’s going on?” You ask. “Nothing.” He says with a blank stare. “Bullshit.” You snap. He continued to stare at you blankly. “You’ve been ignoring me for days. It’s like you want nothing to do with me.” You say with a sad shrug. “Is there something going on with you? Did I do something wrong?” You ask. He sighs and looks down, “Has it ever occurred to you that maybe I just don’t want anything to do with you?” He asked, still staring at the floor. You stare at him wide eyed, this wasn’t Joel… Why was he acting like this? “Huh?” “Have you even thought that maybe I’m avoiding you is because I don’t want anything to do with you? That maybe I’m not in love with you anymore?” His voice was rising and your heart began to race. “Or maybe I wasn’t in love with you in the first place.” He mumbled, finally looking at you. You paused for a moment before letting out a shaky breath, “Joel.. This… This the part where you apologize.” “No this is the part where you leave.” Your heart dropped. He was kicking you out? “And go where?” You ask. You had no where else to go. “There’s a blizzard outside.” You say while pointing to the window.. “Not my problem.” He answered.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” You ask, tears welling in your eyes,

No, no this wasn’t right. He was going too far. He was pushing you away too far.. But it was too late. The damage was already done. He swallowed the lump in his throat and continued to give you his famous blank stare. You scoff as a tear fell from your eye. “Fuck you.” You say in disbelief. You walk over to the front door and threw your coat over your body and quickly put on your boots. You took one last look at him before you left. He was standing in the same spot, he hadn’t moved. You shake your head before storming out of the house, his heart following you close behind.

You walked around the city, not knowing where to go or what to do. But you knew you had to get out of there. You ran over to the stables and saw Tommy coming out with one of his lookout buddies. You hop onto a horse and start to charge for the gates as they closed. “Y/N? Y/N?!” Tommy tried stopping you, he knew you were going to die if you left. But as the gates closed you managed to fit the gap right before they shut. “Shit… Shit!” Tommy yelled.

When you thought you were safe you slowed your horse down and it started to walk. It was freezing, and you started to regret your decision. You turned your head, then again, and again. Where did you come from? Panic rose in your body, you were lost. In a blizzard. You had no idea where you were. The tracks your horse left behind were already filled. The only thing you could do was go in the direction you thought was right and hope for the best.

Your horse walked for awhile, you felt bad because you knew it was freezing. And just as things couldn’t get worse you heard loud screaming… But it wasn’t of a person. Right in front of you saw a runner charge towards you. You turn your horse around and tried going in the other direction, but more and more runners showed up.

You were surrounded..

Joel felt his heart break when you left. He didn’t want to take it that far but he did. He slowly walked over to his couch and sat down, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees. He held onto his head and fought off the urge to go after you. He wanted to. Every fiber in his body was screaming at him to get off this couch and go after you. But he didn’t. He thought this was for the best.

He didn’t know how long he was sitting there but the sound of his front door slamming open brought him back to reality. “JOEL?” Tommy called before he saw his brother in the Living-room. “Joel. Fuckin’ Y/N ran out of the gates before they closed.” Tommy says, huffing and puffing the process since it was obvious he ran here. Joel’s heart sank as he stood onto his feet. “What?” “No time to explain. We need to find her before she gets herself killed.” Joel nodded, not wanting to waste anytime. He grabbed his goat and followed his younger brother to the stables.

Both Joel and Tommy got onto their horses and ran through the gates that were slightly open again just for them. "Shit there's no tracks!" Tommy yelled through the sounds of wing whistling through the air. "We'll find her!" Joel called. You wouldn't go far, you never went far.

Him and Tommy rode through the snow but Joel suddenly stopped. "What?" Tommy says. Joel nodded his head towards what he was looking at. Tommy's eyes land on a puddle of cold, fresh blood. It was easily five, ten minutes old as it was only now starting to freeze over. The warmth of the blood probably kept it exposed for this long. Both Tommy and Joel's heart was racing. "We gotta find her.." Joel mumbled, he wasn't even sure Tommy could hear him but he had to say it for himself too. Joel followed the droplets of blood, them getting from smaller to bigger. He was getting close, he just knew it. He followed the blood until Tommy stopped him, "Joel. Look." He says. Joel looked where Tommy was pointing to see a huge chunk of snow that was dark red. There was something under it.

Joel looked up and saw the snow on top of the mountain edge had fallen onto this. He quickly hopped off his horse and ran towards the lump. "JOEL! Shit." Tommy yells while trying to get his brothers attention. Joel ignored him and ran towards the lump in the snow. He fell to his knees and started to tunnel through the snow. Thank god he had his gloves on, otherwise he would've frozen his hands off.

As he tunneled through the bloody snow he was just hoping, praying, you weren't under it. He finally made it to the body underneath, and thank god... It was the horse. He sighed in relief but he saw a hand of a runner twitching under the snow. He backed off and looked over the landscape.

"Jesus... It's mutilated. Is she around?" Tommy asks. Joel looked around, "Y/N?!" He called. He continued calling for you, he screamed out your name hoping for a answer back.

And then he heard it... "Joel?" The sound of your voice echoed through he trees, you weren't able to yell loud. When you heard Joel yelling for you, you were barely clinging onto life. Your hands were numb from the lack of gloves and you could barely feel your feet and legs. You were still moving though, still fighting to live. But you were growing tired and your body was giving out on you. But when you heard Joel yelling for you, you felt a sense of hope.

You turned to the voice, it was coming from where you came from. You started to call for him and dragged your feet through the snow to get to his voice.. But then you collapsed. You then took what felt like your last breaths. Your body was cold and numb and you couldn't move... But you managed to mumble out one last thing..

"Joel.."

When Joel heard you yelling for him back he continued to call for you, before sprinting in the direction of your voice. Tommy groaned and tried calling after Joel, but Joel didn't listen. He yelled for you and you yelled back... Until you didn't. He began to panic more and he continued to run.

He then stopped when he saw your lifeless body face down in the snow. When he started running again he slid on his knees as he fell to the ground next to you. "Y/N?" He says while rolling you over onto your back. Your skin was pale and your lips were a light shade of blue. He pulled you close and held you in his arms. He moved his ear down to your cold lips and he paid close attention. He heard Tommy showing up behind him on his horse, Joel's horse following close behind as Tommy held onto it's lead. Joel shuttered, but not from the cold. "She's not breathing." He says in a voice of panic. He laid you down on his lap and started to take off his gloves. "Get her warm. Get her blood pumping." Tommy ordered. Joel put his gloves onto your freezing hands and he quickly took off his jacket and putting it on over your body. When he felt your skin it didn’t even feel human anymore.. It didn’t feel like you anymore.

He picked you up and carried you bridal style. He got onto his horse with you in his arms. "We need to get her to the infirmary." Joel yells before his horse took off. He held your head close to his chest, hopefully his body heat would help. When they made it back to Jackson he didn't bother getting off his horse, he proceeded to ride on his horse until he stopped in front of the infirmary.

He hopped off his horse, you still in his arms, and he ran inside of the infirmary. He begged for help, yelling at the top of his lungs that you weren't breathing. The nurses and doctors scrambled to help you out. A nurse lugged out a metal table and told him to lay you onto it.

He did what he was told and the nurses scrambled to get blankets and things to warm you up. Joel was so invested on what they were doing that he hadn't even realized Tommy was behind him. "Joel. Let's leave them take care of her alright?" Tommy says while touching his shoulder. Joel nodded and he followed Tommy out onto the porch of the infirmary.

Two hours went by and the word spread around that you weren't okay. Soon Ellie, Dina, Jesse, and Maria showed up. Everyone was pacing around the porch, all besides Joel. He was sitting down, his face buried in his hands.

"What's taking so fuckin' long?" Ellie hisses. "It takes time Ellie. Be patient." Maria says while touching her arm. Joel was getting antsy too even though it didn't look like it. He was honestly thinking the same thing, what was taking them so long?

And just as he was about to snap the door to the infirmary opened. Joel looked up to make sure it was a nurse and when he realized it was one he jolted out of his seat and walked over to her. "Is she alright?" He asked in a panic. "She's stable. Whether we know she's alright or not we still don't know. But she's alive." The nurse says with a nod. It was a relief, but Joel was still slightly confused. "What do you mean 'you don't know'?" He asks. "Time will tell. She could have issues we wont be able to detect until she's awake and can answer our questions. Her hands and feet are twitching which is a good sign." They explained.

"But when you brought her to us she had already been dead for a few minutes. She wasn't breathing and her heart had stopped. That alone could cause severe psychical and psychological trauma. And she also had hypothermia which could possibly give her brain damage." They explained. "You all can see her. Just... One at a time." They explain before stepping inside of the building.

Joel hung his head low, "Y'all go first I'll.. Go last." He walked back over to the seat he was in and sat down. “Joel she doesn’t want to be around us… She wants you-“ “Ellie, please.” Joel says while interrupting her. She frowned and shook her head. “Fine.” She huffed.

As time flew by every person had their turn and now it was his. He took a gulp before going into the infirmary. When he made it to your room his eyes scanned the place until his eyes fell on you. You were in a bed this time. He stepped inside and closed the door behind him. He walked over to you and looked at you. You looked so so much better. Your skin had some color to it and your lips were still slightly pale but they weren’t blue, which was a good sign. You had heavy blankets over your body and a hot wash cloth over your forehead. Joel could see from the collar of your jacket that you were still wearing his jacket.

He hadn’t even noticed how cold he was until he remembered he gave you his jacket. But he didn’t mind nor was he taking it back anytime soon. He grabbed the chair that was next to your bed, which he was sure everyone sat in beforehand, and sat down. He watched you for a moment, he felt like absolute shit.

He then snuck his hand under your blanket and rested his hand on yours. Your hands were warm.. Different than before. Before your hands felt cold and stiff, and now they were warm and soft like they usually are. Your fingers twitched under his hand and he remembered what the doctor said, ‘Her hands and feet are twitching which is a good sign.’ But it still didn’t feel good. He felt horrible it came to this. Horrible that because of him you ran off and almost died.

Joel moved his hand away and rested his elbow on the armrest of the chair and placed his cheek on his closed fist. He watched you until he felt himself falling into a deep sleep.

A few more hours went by and you started to stir in your sleep. You opened your eyes and cringed away from the light shining above your head. You covered it with your forearm before taking in the smell of your surroundings.. It smelled like… Medicine? You look sit up slightly and notice you’re in the infirmary. Then the memory of what happened flooded back into your mind. You were almost dead… Or did you die? You couldn’t remember. You turned to the window and saw it was still dark out. You then realized you weren’t alone in the room as you heard light snoring behind you. You turn your head to see Joel sleeping in the chair next to your bed.

The last thing you remember was Joel calling for you before you collapsed. He saved your life.

Not wanting to wake him, you slowly moved your legs from under the blanket and you swung them over the edge of your bed. You felt weak and you knew walking wasn’t going to be easy. So you slowly moved your feet onto the ground and you tried your best to stand up. You wobbled around and groaned at the full body pain you were experiencing. Your muscles and joints were so sore.

When you regained some balance you nodded your head. You mumbled some praises to yourself and took a deep breath. You went to go and take a step but your leg could barely touch the ground before your other leg gave out on you.

Your body hit the ground with a loud thud and you coughed as you felt the wind get knocked out of your body. “Ow..” You say with a groan. You then felt a pair of hands gently grab your arms and lift you up off the ground. “Why the hell are you up?” Joel hisses. “I was going to go and tell a nurse I’m breathing.” You say. “You could’ve woken me up.” “Didn’t want to. You needed the sleep.” You say as Joel helps you back onto the bed. “I’ll go get the nurse.” He says, not even looking you in the eye. He walks out of the room and you frown.

You were convinced he was like this because of the things he said earlier. That he doesn’t love you but still feels a responsibility for you. After a minute Joel comes back in with a nurse. “How are you feeling?” She asks. “Achy.” You answered with a shrug.

After the nurse was finished examining you she said to just lay back and rest and she’ll check on you in a few hours. So she left you and Joel alone.. To sit in awkward silence.

But you had a question. One that was bothering you when you first woke up. “Joel.” He nodded his head towards you, indicating he was listening but he still didn’t look at you. “Did you mean it?” You ask. “Mean what?” He asks. “That you don’t love me..?” You ask in a low tone of voice. You sounded pitiful as you were trying to hold back tears the best way you could.

He continued staring at the floor and he furrowed his eyebrows. “That’s what you’re thinking about? You almost died.. And that’s what you’re thinking about.” He scoffed at you. “Actually you did die. Does that not bother you?” He asks while shaking his head. “Yes. But I’m alive now. So it doesn’t matter.” “It does matter-“ He snapped, but he stopped himself. “He continued staring at the floor and he furrowed his eyebrows. “That’s what you’re thinking about? You almost died.. And that’s what you’re thinking about.” He scoffed at you. “Actually you did die. Does that not bother you?” He asks while shaking his head. “Yes. But I’m alive now. So it doesn’t matter.” “It does matter-!“ He snapped, but he stopped himself.

“I’m gonna go…” He goes to walk for the door but you gasp, “Wait! Wait!” You lunge forward in your bed. Joel stops and he finally looks at you. He sees the panic in your face and he starts to cave. “Please… Please don’t go." You begged. Joel hesitated, he glanced at the door before looking back at you. He looked down and nodded before walking back over to the seat he was in and sat down.

Awkward silence filled the air and you stared down at your still gloved hands. You didn't know what to say... But he did. "No." You looked up at him. "No what?" You ask. "No I didn't mean it." You stare at him for a moment before looking back at your hands. "Then why did you say it?" You ask. When he didn't answer you sighed in frustration, "Look I think I deserve the right to know." You say while rolling your eyes. "I wanted to push you away." You scoff, "Why?" "For reasons like this." He says with his voice slightly rising. "I don't understand." You say while furrowing your eyebrows in confusion and frustration.

"I'm not used to someone being this close. And the thought of losing you scares me." He admits. You sit there dumbfounded. A part of you wanted to sympathize with him, but the other part knew you couldn't. "So you treat me like that because you're afraid...?" You mumble.

"No. No you don't get to push me away because you're afraid." He sighed, "Y/N-" "NO!" You shout. "You think I'm not afraid? Every time you go out on lookouts I expect a knock on my door telling me you're dead." You voice began to crack at the sudden rise in emotion in your body. "If it's not runners or clickers I'm worrying about it's the enemies you've made. You have a huge target on your back from all the shit you did when you brought Ellie across the country." You say as tears fell from your eyes. "But I don't give up. Even when I'm afraid. Because if I gave up, if any of us gave up... We'd have nothing. And we'd make no progress." You shake your head and look down at your bed. "And it's okay to be afraid. But you should be able to tell me your fears instead of just giving up." You wipe your tears and sigh in frustration.

Joel was silent. He was processing what you were saying, but of course... You were right. As always. When he didn't answer quick enough you scoffed, "If you wanna leave just go. I'm not stopping you this time." You turn your head to the side to make sure he doesn't see you at all.

Joel sighs before getting up out of his chair. He walked over to your bed and sat down down next to you. He wrapped one of his arms around your shoulders and pulled you close. "No.. I'm not letting you go this time." He says. You rest your head against his chest and he places a kiss on the top of you head.

"I'm sorry."

MASTERLIST

[nightly-valkyrie]

Update post for 'In the Shadow of Sierpinski'

Wanted to give a half ACT-2 update, half poll about how people prefer this fic because updated going forward. So starting with ACT-2 information: progress is going well! I've been blown away by the support and even as I've been sick, I've tried to get some work done here and there. For the most part, every chapter for the second ACT is outlined. As writing tends to go for me, there's a chance that it some chapters will get split into multiple, and some all new ones may pop up because some extra detail needed fleshing out. Sometime in the next week or so, I'm planning to finish up the next chapter and then get rough drafts done for the following ones. That, however, brings me to the poll about how best to update this fic.

Now, in regards to the fic as a whole, there was a few things I wanted to mention. As for a little bit of background for the fic, when looking at the whole of ItSoS and speak for what is/isn't planned; the fic for the most part is outlined. The major events and characters have all been written out, and the broad strokes of each act are written out in roughly 2 page summaries for my personal reference. This was done to allow me to maintain a realistic pace when writing and progressing the story without getting overwhelmed. That being said, I won't be putting a consistent timer on updates. I'm not sure I'd be able to stick to them every time, and I fear in trying I would risk burning out. In lieu of that, I still have some plans in regard to how to make updates relatively consistent so that its not months between chapters. Nobody wants to wait that long, least of all myself. So while I can't repeat the dropping entire ACTs in a single update, as that was specially done for the anniversary, I do want to offer 3 methods of updating that I'm willing to work around and feel will allow the pace of updates to feel reasonable. At the bottom of this post will be a poll, if you have read so far please take the time to vote quickly as it would really help me out <3!

Option 1 is just posting chapters whenever they're ready. Focusing one chapter at a time, having it undergo the entire drafting and revision process and posting it before moving onto the next chapter. Ultimately this would have the lowest wait between ACTs with no pause to write ahead, but at the same time, longer chapters may inspire longer waits so there would really be no promises on timeline.

Option 2 is drafting the whole of an ACT prior to releasing any chapters, then having each get revised one at a time and releasing each chapter when they're done with revisions. This would cause a moderate wait between ACTs but then the wait between chapters would be rather short as they will have already had most of their work done ahead of time.

Option 3 is to draft and then revise the chapters in small bursts. I would release the complete chapters of the course of 2-3 days depending on how many are done at a time. The bursts would be for chapters within the same ACT (no ACT-2 chapter being posted at the same time as ACT-3), but would sit somewhere in the middle in terms of wait time between fic updates.

I'm willing to work around any of the options so I will absolutely appreciate it if you vote below!

[snowyknight-17]

I’m gonna leave this WIP here for a bit…

NSFW under the cut

Featuring Hancock and other FO4 mentions

“Let me ask you something,” John sat lazily on his sofa drawing another puff from his cigarette; eyes hooded under a tilted tri-corner hat,

“Why me?” Hancock paused for affect watching Annie twiddle her thumbs and pull at her jacket,

“You come all this way for a tussle all the while passing up 3 to 4 other dicks on much prettier men.”

Annie only now realized she’d been holding her breath and let it out loudly; but before she could make her plea John put out his cig and lit another.

It was hard to not notice how smooth Hancock moved, like water, and Annie was here to swim.

“For instance, that ‘holier then thou’ Paladin of yours. Yeah I see him get an eyeful every time you turn around, big lumbering soldier gets all pink in the cheeks when you take lead. Or that boss of his,”

Hancock snapped his fingers trying to remember Elder Maxson’s name,

“Elder Scarface. I fuckin hate that bigot but don’t mean he wouldn’t turn to putty the second you touched his shoulder. Guy’s so frickin tightly wound, I bet he’d cum by the fifth bounce. Sure he acts like a war tactician, bloodline bred for excellence, deathclaw slayer but I’d bet my last cap he’d turn into a little red faced bitch/sub underneath you.”

The conjured image was not unpleasant. Maxson begging for release, reduced to a tear stained, blubbering mess. Hands bound of front of him trying to feel any inch of her sweat slicked skin…

Her ears began to beat to the rush of blood to her face, had the room always been this hot?

John was standing over his coffee table, fingering through his stash of chems; amongst the stash were random bullets, poker chips, buttons and a magazine of some porno called “Three’s a crowd”. The cover showed 3 men in a cramped space with the same amount of lust in their eyes that Annie had for Hancock. He pocketed a jet then shot a round of hydra into his shoulder.

Annie remembered the last time they traveled together a couple of months ago. Helping out the folks at The Slog, when suddenly 3 super mutants appeared. They were low on the totem pole though; carrying only one pipe rifle the other two had 2x4’s, so they went down pretty quick, but not before John took a wack to his right side from one of the boards. He recovered fast due to his ghoul flesh, but his shoulder joint would always get stiff in rainy weather. If he would only ask, she would rub it.

Hancock made no sign he’d just been jabbed by a needle. Just rotated his arm adjusting the tight muscle, retuning his cigarette to his lips. Giving her body a quick once over before continuing,

“How about that Boy Scout lieutenant of yours? He’d practically marry you if you asked nicely…”

“Preston is an angel and wouldn’t know how to fuck me into a mattress of his life depended on it.”

John snorted, “Don’t be too sure about that chica. Every time I meander my way to your castle, I can practically feel the buzz coming off him when you’re around. He may be a saint but he’s still a man.”

Preston was Annie’s friend. Her first friend. She knew he wanted more, but she didn’t feel the same. It felt wrong to think of him that way when she had no intention of cultivating a relationship with him.

By now Hancock was close. Close enough to feel his warmth, smell his tobacco, see little stains on his red coat from when he refills the oil lamps. He huffed a final draft of smoke just to the side of her, before dropping and stepping on the butt. He adjusted his hat and looked her in the eye. Black voids meeting pale blues.

“Or perhaps this is a social call for a whole other reason.” His rough hands were barely touching her hips. Gentle caresses over her dirty jeans, his fingers sliding into her back pockets, heat radiating off him now. The front corner of his hat brushing against her hair,

Annie looked up and saw a restraint set in his jaw. As she leaned in to kiss the ghoul, he leaned back away from her mouth, and with a softness asked,

“Any chance you’re here to forget about that doe eyed, southern man you’ve been chasing?”

The mention of Jake sucked the heat out of the room. Annie felt a humid cold spread over her, tears pricked at the corner of her eyes and weakness began to build.

Jake.

Gods she loved him. Wanted him. Needed him; and what’s worse is Jake wanted her too. They kissed once after GNN was won. But Jake had to talk her down from taking more. While he wanted something between them to bloom, he just couldn’t give himself fully until his daughter was found. She understood. Hell she knew better than most what it means to have a child missing; her own son still in the clutches of ‘lord knows where’.

It made her sick to think about. Her baby boy, out there, somewhere. Was he safe? Well fed? Happy? Annie didn’t know. Was she terrible for wanting a distraction now and then in the arms of a lover while her dream guy worked endlessly looking for his baby?

Thick, wet tears trickled down her flush cheeks. They culminated in salty pools in the crease of her mouth only to be swiped away by Hancock’s thumb.

“What makes you think a boozy night with a mug like mine would make the ache go away?” His hands were no longer on her ass but on the small of her back, rubbing soothing circles.

[ramayantika]

Chinnanjiru Nilave (a dance or me just acting around??? 🥲)

Do you remember Mathura Nagarpati? I am not Tamil so I looked up a few translations for this song: Chinnanjiru Nilave The song doesn't exactly match my story obviously but the singer's voice and the music had those final moments/separation themes which immediately got the Mathura Nagarpati scene in my mind. I hope I did not butcher the song. I was also lazy to edit so here's the raw draft.

The translation of the scene below:

1. Nayani fills her pot by the Yamuna and as she is about to go home, she hears a voice she hasn't heard in years. Turning around she sees Krishna standing in front of her. She is shocked to see him and confirms his presence by touching his face and hands.

2. "After so many years you've come back here. Tell me, not even once did you remember me, us and Vrindavan. We all would gaze at the far waters if Yamuna in hopes that you will one day come back. Couldn't you have ever sent a letter, just one letter about your well-being. I don't know what to say, Krishna. I am seeing you after so many years. It feels like a yuga has passed. I thought you have forgotten all of us. I no longer know what to say or how to behave. You were my first love. I am now married to another man, but you were the one in my heart. Upto this day, I have breathed only in your name

3. Somehow she looses her anger and smiles saying, "Anyway how long can I be cross with you?" Krishna drops a bomb again when he tell her you might just be because I am here to give you a final parting Gift to bid you farewell.

4. Nayani is confused when Krishna takes her hand and asks her to take his morpankh from his crown and blow it to the skies. He starts walking back which causes Nayani to hold his hand. Pleading, she says, "Do not leave just now. If you go away I will die right here."

5. Krishna still holds her hand and makes her blow the feather away as a reluctant Nayani lets him go while the feather makes its journey to the sky. Another game of Time and dust goes into her eyes before she can see Krishna leave. When she opens her eyes, Krishna is nowhere to be found. Later she hears some person tell her that Dwarkadheesh is no more.

6. Devastatation

Taglist: @morally-gayy @bambioleo @shanti-ashant-hai @kabhi-sukoot-bhi-sukhan @inexhaustible-sources-of-magic @arachneofthoughts @kaal-naagin @krishna-priyatama @reallythoughtfulwizard @savlon-bhoi

[loveofdetail]

wip whenever

I got tagged by @rowanisawriter (thank youuuuu!). I am actually SO close to done with this fic (the Gale/Mystra divorce fic I've been working on for way too long). The plan is to put the final touches on the draft tonight, bring it to my writing group tomorrow, then do one revision (and ONLY ONE and I'm holding myself to that lol) and have it on ao3 within the week.

So here is a little excerpt :3

The one thing he hadn’t done since the unassuming grey book sent him down this well was communed with Mystra. He needed time, just a short, forgivable stretch of time, to revel in this, before She told him to drop his pursuit. It was the most excited he’d been about an idea in years. To recover a missing piece of the original Mystryl’s Weave… it would quite possibly be his greatest act as a wizard. If it were his to do. But he could not let himself indulge indefinitely. That was not, he ultimately admitted, the right thing to do, as Mystra’s Chosen. Indeed, he was a little surprised She hadn’t summoned him by now. It would be unbecoming of him—sulky, even—to avoid Her much longer. So, dutifully, he had prepared himself to be told no, to set aside this sudden obsession, and go back to his ideas about somatic geometry. He lit the candles, conjured the symbols, closed his eyes and concentrated on his earring. He braced himself for the moment She spoke.

not tagging people because my brain is noodles BUT if you want to share feel free to continue the wip whenever train from me