#joel miller argument

[kennarose1108]

Joel Miller x !HAPPY! Reader *FIGHT/ARGUMENT*

You had lived in Jackson city for the last two years. You had become a favorite of everybody very quickly with your happy nature. You could light up a room with just a smile… A smile that everybody loved. But a little less than a year ago your parents, who you came with, went out on a run and were killed by clickers. Everybody thought that would be your breaking point, that you'd never be the same happy person you were…

But they were wrong.

You grieved as any person would… But you felt you couldn't let that hold you back. So once you started feeling better you went back to being your happy and cheery self.

And during that time you were introduced to Joel Miller. He was the complete opposite of you. He was quiet, reserved, and grumpy most of the time. He expected to hate your personality but to his surprise, he loved having you around… Sometimes. There were times you frustrated and annoyed him but he tried his best to hide it so he didn't upset you. He never wanted to upset you but sometimes you got so unbearable, especially with all the hugging and touching you do.

But you would always calm him down without realizing it. You mainly calmed him down by showing him things you made. You liked doing things with your hands so one of your hobbies is carving things out of wood. Which you and Joel had in common. But you've practically given everybody you knew one of your carvings and in all honesty, Joel wasn't expecting one.

And the day you gave it to him was one of the days you were pushing boundaries. Joel was on the verge of snapping and lashing out at you until you showed him the little sculpture you made for him. It was a grizzly bear and its cub, you said it reminded you of him and Ellie and thought it was perfect.

He always kept it on his desk after that.

But today was different. Today Joel was extra touchy and didn't want to be bothered. While out on a lookout he came across a family who, while bringing them back to camp for meds, were killed by clickers. Of course, you didn't know that, you didn't know any of the problems he had with you. He had never said anything and he never seemed psychically or verbally uncomfortable or upset with you so you kept on doing what you were doing.

But today just wasn't a good day… Not at all. He felt himself get psychically angry when he heard you calling him from downstairs. He was pissed you had just let yourself in without knocking… Even though he told you it was okay in the past.

"Joel! There you are." You say in a cheery tone of voice as you walk into his workroom where he sat at his desk, unfinished carvings on his table in front of him with the one you made him neatly placed to the side.

"How was your day?" You ask with a bright smile. No answer. You tried not to let it bother you though, sometimes he was like this so you tried shrugging it off. "Want some company?" Still no answer. He hadn't even looked up at you… It was like you were invisible. Your smile slowly turned into a frown but you tried your best to keep the happiest look you could for now. "Um… Want to come over tonight and watch a movie? Ellie showed me this amazing-" "You just can't take a hint can't you?" He said coldly. You froze, your smile completely wiped off your face and a feeling of dread washed through your body like you had done something wrong.

"What?" You say in confusion. "Are you really that dense? Or are you just too wrapped up in your perfect little world to notice anybody else around you?" You were taken aback by his words… He had never spoken to you like this before.

"I'm… Confused. Did I do something wrong?" He chuckles. He still hadn't moved; it was almost as if it were a recording and wasn't him saying it. But it was. It was him saying it, and you were confused why.

"I should be the one confused." He stands up. "I'm confused about how you're always so cheery and happy. Like there's not a care in the world." He says while turning to you, giving you a harsh glare that made you flinch. "I'm just a happy person I guess." You shrug. "And that's what I'm confused about. How can you be happy in this world?" He asks, his fist clenching in the process. "I don't know. I just am." You were panicking. You were thinking of ways you could calm him down but nothing that you thought of was good. "I don't understand. I don't understand how you can run around thinking everything is happy and made of fuckin' cotton candy and rainbows all the time. Making shit like this and giving it to people like they actually give a shit." He says while snatching the sculpture you made and holding it out in his hand. Tears were starting to well up in your eyes, you didn't know what to say or what to do… So you stood there. Upset and slightly afraid.

"I should've given it back to you the second you gave it to me. Everybody should've. Not like anybody likes them anyways." Your eyes widen. "…Nobody likes them?" You manage to choke out. He ignored the heartbreak in your voice and continued, "People are dying every day. People are suffering every day and you're spending your time making this GARBAGE!" In his fit of rage, he threw the sculpture on the ground. You gasp and jump back, thinking he was going to throw it at you.

But it didn't, instead, it hit the floor with a loud thud. You look down at it and you let out a shaky gasp. "You broke it." The tone of voice you had alone brought Joel back to reality, you sounded truly heartbroken. He furrowed his eyebrows and looked down at the sculpture. The older bear had broken in half and the cub had broken in multiple parts, it wasn't even connected to the ground part of the sculpture anymore.

You slowly kneel to it and gently laid the pieces in your hands. The tears in your eyes finally started to fall. This sculpture took you the longest. You wanted to perfect every little detail for him and you did. "Do you know how long this took me to make?" You say with a slight sob.

He sucked in a breath and ran his fingers through his hair. "Ah, hell.." He mumbled. Guilt crawled into his chest and he felt like punching himself for doing this to you. He made the happiest girl on the planet cry, he didn't think it was possible to ever see you cry. Even after your parent's death you never cried when people were around. You kept a brave face but he knew behind closed doors you were a wreck.

He didn't mean what he said… Of course, people loved your sculptures, everybody adored you. But in the moment he wanted to hurt you because he was hurting himself. It wasn't fair to you and he realizes this now.

"If you didn't want me around you should've just told me…" You say while resting the pieces down on the floor. "No, I… Darlin' that's not what I meant-" You push away his arms as he tried reaching down for you. You quickly got onto your feet and walked fast out of the room. He was stunned for a moment but he quickly regained his thoughts and went after you. "Y/N!" He called for you from the top of the stairs as you were hurrying down them. He continued to call for you but you ignored him.

You had to get out of there, you couldn't be in his presence anymore. It was too painful… But he couldn't let you leave… He just couldn't. He wouldn't be able to live with himself if he just let you leave without at least trying to apologize. He quickly caught up to you and grabbed your arms and pulled you towards him. You immediately started fighting him away, but because Joel was a lot stronger than you he was able to keep you in place. He tried speaking to you, and he tried apologizing, but you were yelling at him to let you go and thrashing around too much. You weren't listening and you didn't want to listen. And him forcing you to stand there caused you to panic more and your anxiety levels raised… And then your fight or flight kicked in.

A harsh sound of skin hitting against skin filled the room before the room fell silent. Joel stumbled back in shock, letting you go in the process. You stood there and stared at him with wide eyes… You slapped him. And hard too. But Joel could handle it. It was the initial shock of it all that made him stumble back. His left cheek and your right hand stung from the impact.

You couldn't believe what just happened. You couldn't believe you HIT someone you cared about.

He was staring at you wide-eyed too, not as wide as you though. Your body was shaking and more tears were filling your eyes. You let out a shaky breath that turned into a quiet sob before you bolted for the front door, leaving the house with a loud slam of the door behind you. Joel didn't move, he didn't flinch. He just continued staring at the door in utter shock. He didn't care about you slapping him, it was his fault because he was forcing you down and making you upset. Although it was quite a shock.

His brain was blank, but his body moved. He slowly turned for the stairs and started going up them. He turned the corner of the room you both were just in and he stared down at the broken pieces of wood on the floor, right where you left it.

He walked over to it and knelt on one knee. He picked up the pieces in his hands and ran his thumb over the pieces. He hated himself at the moment, even more than usual.

What was he going to do now?

PART 2 LINK

MASTERLIST

[ilophilia]

RIP Joel Miller, I just know your goodreads reviews would have been fire.

[augustgh0st]

i love naughty dog so fucking much.

[skoulsons]

you know what I find so. vomitingly insane.

these two moments. this moment (which I don’t think I ever analyzed or posted WHOOPS maybe some day). this whole snippet of Joel taking his coat off and Ellie’s hand lingering on his arm and the way she looks at him. How she stares at him in this fashion of unbelief and thankfulness and love. She put a knife in his hands and told her to kill anyone who made it down there. He did. She told him to wake up. He did. And he found her just when she needed him. She’s not expecting it because he’s supposed to be in that basement, but he’s here.

And she takes him in as fully as she can. Staring at him, the whole time. Never blinking, not once. Her hand stays on his arm til he shuffles his coat off, afraid he’ll somehow disappear if she cannot immediately feel him under her fingertips. She watches him, the ghost of a smile on her lips because he’s there. He’s alive and he’s found her. Her comforting presence is right in front of her, alive and breathing. Her adrenaline still pumping from what transpired in that restaurant. Her eyes have a glimmer of light and love in them watching him.

And he watches her just as intently, studying what exactly she looks like. Never blinking, scanning her face of the blood and and her sweater, a mix of confusion, anger, and concern. How much has he missed? What happened? Why does she have blood on her face? Why did she cling to me in such a way? Why is she crying so hard? There’s so many questions, but they don’t have the time to talk. Joel knows she can’t, and he doesn’t push. He simply gives her the clothes off his back to keep her warm.

And then this.

Her expression, mainly. Void of… anything. She’s exhausted. She’s traumatized. She’s processing, or trying to. She is fighting for her life. Her mind is running rampant of everything, trying to catch up with the last few weeks.

And I think what goes along with that is that she’s with Joel now. She can finally, finally, let herself feel. She can stop fighting for her life for a second.

She’s not just near him or walking next to him. She’s held against him. The man she’s found plenty of protection and care in from a distance up until this point is holding her against his side, helping her walk. He’s wrapped her up in his coat and is trying to pull it around her more. His head is against hers, no indication of letting her go. His warmth and heartbeat and breath are right beside her, letting her know he’s there. That she’s safe now.

And she lets it all happen. She really can’t protest or make an effort to try anything else because she’s exhausted. She’s so tired and she’s hurt and confused and broken.

And that all catches up to her now. But it catches up to her in the safety of his hold. Bundled up in the warmth of his coat and held in the unparalleled safety of his embrace. She is able to feel, now, because he’s there.

[atinylittlepain]

A Very Happy, Hungry Hearts Pride

(joel miller x f!oc)

I'm not writing anything new for here, but I want everyone to know that in the Hungry Hearts-verse, after Joel and Cherry combine their respective family units, they go to Austin pride every year (I am Aware that official Austin pride is in August, let me live my lordt).

It's the mid-to-late 2000s, and Cherry has a little case of trigger finger when it comes to Etsy (what she does when she's supposed to be editing and doesn't want to), and as a result, Joel has about a dozen t-shirts whose sole purpose is to be worn at pride. He's got the "I <3 my lesbian daughter" shirt, the "proud dad of a lesbian" one, a couple rainbow-lettered "ally" ones. At first, it's all in support of Ellie, but then Sarah comes out as bi a few years in (do nawt challenge me on this, did you see all that purple? pls) and the t-shirt collection expands with the addition of a new flag.

He had to warm up to the idea of, you know, actually wearing them out in public at first, uncharted territory and all. That wasn't too difficult though, not with Cherry playing with his hair and whispering in his ear like they were teens again about what a good dad and how hot it made him, so hot, being all supportive, baby. What was the other thing? Oh yeah, in touch with your emotions, very sexy of you. Uh-huh, that's him, sign him up for this ally thing, he's good to go.

Joel doesn't like crowds, and he especially doesn't like them when it's hotter than hell out - but if there's one thing he loves, it's supporting his family, and also making sure no bible-thumping dickhead is giving them shit. So yes, up until both girls go away to college, you could find Joel Miller in one of his various Etsy-fied t-shirts looking just a little out of place at Austin pride, with his girls somewhere in orbit, and his wife (his wife, let him say it twice, let him have that, okay? Okay.) on his arm.

Cherry has her own t-shirts and pins. The lesbian flag and the bisexual flag, of course - except she doesn't go for the "ally" shirts, sticks instead to the classics - the rainbow "proud," you know, respectable. It takes a few years for it to click for Joel, and when he asks her if she's, well, you know, in his own sort of bashful way, Cherry just grins and shrugs, it was New York, what can I say?

Happy pride y'all <3

[ellies-enrichment]

i’m not good at QTE’s but i’m so fast at skipping when 2 cutscenes start on part 2

[pedges]

“joel “tex mex is better than anything southern california has to offer” miller “

okay…but i need them to fight on who has the better mexican food (it’s California)

NO BECAUSE. i got tears in my eyes hold on latino joel miller got a vice grip on me

-

“you angelinos got the biggest gotdamn heads, i swear,” joel is grumbling, almost like he doesn’t want you to hear, but you do anyways. he’s sitting there, stabbing his food with his fork like it owes him money, a furrow between his brow and the cutest little pout on his lips. it’s a bit entertaining if you’re being quite honest, because you do this every once in a while just to push his buttons and get a good giggle in. it works—every. single. time.

“s’not my fault you can’t accept the truth,” you say simply, shrugging your shoulders. if he looks at you, and you’re wearing an innocent, impish little grin, well, it’s only because he’ll kiss you twice as hard later on. “i’m not saying it’s bad, joel, just not as good.”

“which is the same as calling it bad.” joel is hard and sturdy as he speaks, but he’s not being mean—you know that. he does just the same sometimes when he riles you up by telling you the astros are better than the dodgers. which isn’t true, you tell him, and his smirk is always as cocky as the one you’re wearing now.

“pobrecito. it’s okay to admit you’re wrong sometimes, mi amor,” you coo. you reach over for his hand and giggle when he swats it away. “you’ve never even had los angeles mexican food, or been part of the la versus san diego debate—so, really i don’t think you have room to talk.”

“‘mi amor,’” he mocks, but you can see the way the pet name makes his eyes soften. it’s minuscule, but you’ve got a keen enough eye to tell. that, and hours of looking at joel’s face has trained you well. “you think i won’t book a ticket to lax right now just to prove you wrong?”

your grin grows as your raise your brows at joel. “you’re bluffing.”

“you’re messin’ with the wrong texan, little girl,” he says, setting his fork down so he can cross his arms and stare you down. you have to ignore the tingles that run up your spine just because this has gone to a completely different level. you don’t falter.

“okay, do it then,” you challenge.

“okay.”

“okay.”

—

the flight to los angeles is three and a half hours long.

sarah, tommy, and god be your witness—

when you’re sitting in some hole in the wall in the middle of east los angeles, grinning from ear to fucking ear, you’re sure joel is going to murder you (or at least something akin to it) later on if the stone faced glare he’s wearing is anything to go off of. that, and the clean plates in front of all three of the millers. (tommy is muttering something about how it’s time for mimis, poor thing.)

but god bless whoever’s abuela is back in the kitchen, because you also know this means you were right.

“say it.” you let out a hmph, arms crossed triumphantly over your chest. “say i was right.”

“cállate,” joel grits. the corners of his lips twitch though, and you smile even wider. “you’re so damn lucky you’re cute.”

you snort, lean over to kiss his cheek, and yeah—you were right.

-

-

(something something sarah says the astros are in town something something joel loses a bet)

[gorgeousgreymatter-x]

anyone who says they would never do what Joel did is the biggest liar you know BTW

[peppermintfury]

Joel Miller: slaughters an entire hospital of people, stops the making of a vaccine that might save all of man kind, and lies to Ellie about his decision for the next 2 years.

[rotisseries]

[kennarose1108]

Joel Miller x !HAPPY! Reader *FIGHT/ARGUMENT* !PART 2!

Apologies were never his thing. Saying sorry was one thing but actually showing he was genuinely sorry was another. Saying sorry just wasn't going to be enough in this case. But because he wasn't good with apologies he hasn't talked to you in weeks. You were very obviously avoiding him... Which was expected.

But Joel stressed out over it. He wanted to see you, he wanted to see how you were doing. He was sure you weren't doing good but he wanted to see for himself...

Joel was sitting in the Tipsy Bison, an alcoholic beverage in his hand, and he was looming over the incident in his head again. The memory haunted him. "Hey, Joel," Ellie says while walking over to him, snapping him out of his thoughts in the process. He mumbled a 'hey' before taking a sip of his drink. "Can you go on the lookout with me tomorrow? I was supposed to go with Dina but she has other things to do." Ellie says. Joel nods, not like he has anything better to do anyways.

Ellie takes a seat with Joel and starts to look around the room. "So... You're friends with Y/N right?" Ellie asks. Joel pauses for a moment before saying, "Sort of." "Do you know what her problem has been recently?" Ellie asks, knowing he was full of shit. "There's a problem?" Joel asks while slightly turning his head in her direction. "Yeah. She's been kinda depressed and that's not like her. I dunno, maybe the grief of her parents is fully setting in or something." She says with a shrug.

Ellie's eyes started the wander the room again when her eyes fell on a familiar figure. "Speak of the devil." She says. Joel's eyes follow hers and he sees you walking in the doorway, Jesse forcing you inside. He was holding onto your wrist and speaking to you. You were talking to him back and trying to pull out of the door again but he didn’t let you. Joel took a good look at you and in all honesty... You looked like shit. There were large bags under your eyes which indicates you hadn’t slept in a while and if you had it hadn’t been much. But what bothered Joel the most was your face looked paler than usual. Usually, your face was so bright and full of life but now you just looked exhausted.

Jesse continued arguing with you and you continued to fight back. "Jesus... JESSE!" Ellie called. Both you and Jesse looked at her as she waved her hands toward you both, telling you both to come and sit with her. And that was when you made eye contact with Joel. The initial thought of having to be in the same building as him made you panic.

You tried forcing yourself away from Jesse but he just held onto your wrist tighter and forced you towards them. Joel watched you closely, seeing the panic on your face made him feel worse. So he looked down at his drink and decided not to make eye contact with you. When you and Jesse finally made it over to the table you stopped trying to get out of his grip, it was too late anyways. "Sit," Jesse ordered while letting you go and pointing to a seat next to Ellie. You slowly make your way into the seat and you look down at the table. Jesse pulls up a chair in between you and Joel, thank god, and sat down. "Y/N this is an intervention.." Ellie says before squinting her eyes, "That's the right word for this right?" She asks while looking at Jesse. He shrugs, "An intervention is for someone that has an addiction." You explain. Ellie shakes her head, "Whatever. Either way, we're here to help you." Ellie says. "Help me with what? I'm fine." Ellie glared at you, "Do you think we're idiots? You've been depressed for the last few weeks." Ellie says.

"And you got rid of all the little sculptures you were working on. And you requested to Tommy that he gets rid of your workbench entirely." Joel's eyes flicked up, not enough to look at you but enough to see you slightly in his peripheral vision. "I just got bored okay? I don't see the point in making them anymore." You say with a sigh.

"But why? You loved making them." "They were a waste of time." You started to feel frustrated with this conversation, you rested your elbows on the table and run the palm of your hands over your face in a stressful manner. "Plus... It's not like anybody liked them anyways..." You mumble. Joel squeezed his eyes shut and cringed, his fears of you being like this because of him became true. And now you were giving up your passion because of the hurtful words he said.

"WHAT?!" Ellie yelled, half the bar staring at her in confusion and annoyance. "Everybody loves them! Did somebody say something? Was it Seth? I swear to god if that slimy little fucker said anything I'll-" "Ellie. Please." You pleaded, your voice desperate and full of sadness. Your eyes glossed over with tears and you wished this conversation was over... In fact, it was over. You were done. You couldn't sit there anymore. "But-" "I'm going home." You mumble while interrupting Ellie and getting up to leave, not even bothering to push in your chair as you left.

You wiped away the tears that fell as you left the Tipsy Bison, trying to keep some kind of a poker face as you left the building. You quickly walked home and nearly ran into your home. You slammed the door shut behind you and you leaned against the door, sighing in relief as the protection of your home washed away all the anxieties you had.

You take another shaky breath before slowly walking into your Livingroom. You sit down on the couch and lean forward, one of your arms resting against your thigh and the other running over your face. But just as you were completely calming down you heard your front door open and close. You sigh in annoyance, "Ellie, please... I want to be left alone." The sound of footsteps stopped in the doorway of the Livingroom and you slightly rolled your eyes. You turn to face the person, ready to tell Ellie off as you thought it was her... But it wasn't.

Your face fell and your anxiety rose again as your eyes met with Joel's. He stared down at you, and a mix of emotions flashed through his face at once. Guilt, sadness, and anger at himself. The list was endless.

After he saw you leave he contemplated for a moment before storming off after you. He left so quickly that Ellie and Jesse weren't able to process what had happened until they saw him walking out of the same door you left in. He wanted to apologize, he needed to apologize. He was just hoping you'd accept it.

Your gaze slowly moved from his to the coffee table in front of you. He took this moment to slowly walk over to the chair across from you and sit down. He hadn't prepared for this, he had no idea what to say or what to do. So you both sat in silence for a few minutes. Your head hung low and he couldn't see your face. Maybe that would make this easier. He was about to apologize, say he was sorry for everything he did... But you beat him to it. "I'm sorry." You barely choke out as a loud sob escaped your lips. Your hand tried covering your lips to stifle your sobs but it didn't work. He stared at you, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "What the hell do you gotta be sorry for?" He asked. To you, he sounded mad so you flinched slightly at the tone of his voice. But he was just confused, he wasn't mad... Or at least wasn't mad at you, he was still pretty pissed at himself though.

You leaned back slightly and he got a small glance at your heartbroken features before another cry escaped your lips, making you hunch back forward. "I..." You start, "I hit you." You say with a sniffle.

Joel paused. A really long, ear-piercingly quiet, pause. The only sound that filled the home was you sobbing quietly to yourself. He was confused, oh so very confused. That couldn't be why you were so depressed the last few weeks right? That couldn't be all... It just couldn't. "I'm so sorry for hitting you, Joel." You say while trying to wipe the excessive amount of tears that fell from your eyes. "Is that... Is that what's been botherin' you for the last few weeks?" He asked. You nod, your head still hung low so he couldn't see your face. He took a deep breath in.

Even in his fit of rage and the bullshit he put you through, you still selflessly thought of the smallest thing you did and gave yourself all the blame. He couldn't believe it.

"Y/N." His voice was gentle, but stern. "Y/N look at me." It took you a moment before your eyes flicked up slightly so you were looking into his eyes. "Don't blame yourself." He shook his head, "I hurt you." "It didn't hurt." He says truthfully. Sure, it stung like it naturally would but Joel had thick skin. Whether that was actual thick skin or just layers of dirt and sweat that embedded into his skin. (Frankly, it could've been both) Either way, it didn't matter. It still didn't hurt.

"You're a liar.." You mumble while lowering your gaze back to the ground. He didn't realize exactly what you meant until then, you knew it didn't psychically hurt him... You were worried it emotionally hurt him. Like it was some kind of betrayal or something.

He couldn't it anymore. He got onto his feet and got in front of you before kneeling and trying to meet your gaze again. "Y/N." He moved his head to meet your eyes but you kept on moving away. He grabbed your chin and forced you to look at him. "You got nothin' to be sorry for." He says. "None of this was your fault. And you slappin' me.." He took a deep breath, "Hell, that's been the last thing on my mind the last few weeks." He says while wiping away the tears with his thumb that landed near your chin. "I should be the one apologizing... And I am going to apologize." He says.

"Y/N. I am so sorry. I was having a rough day and I took it out on you. It wasn't your fault and I meant nothing that I said. I don't care about you slappin' me, I deserved it." He says with a nod. "But please don't change yourself because of me. You're perfect the way you are." He cupped one of your cheeks with his hand, wiping the tears around your eyes with his thumb.

You let out a sniffle and you actually manage to hold in a sob before lunging forward and wrapping your arms around his neck. He hesitated before wrapping his arms around your waist. You both sat like that for a few minutes, Joel was uncomfortable because he was in such an enclosed space. Being between you and a coffee table wasn't easy, but he managed it because he wanted to make you happy.

When you finally got the courage to say something you said, "I forgive you." Those three words brought peace to Joel. He felt his shoulders untense and he sighed against your neck. "And I'm sorry you were having a rough day." You say. He chuckled at your need to still apologize and you pulled away.

But you didn't get far. You stopped a few inches away from his face and you glanced down at his lips. You were going to pull away more but the grip he had on your waist stopped you. He was practically telling you he wanted it too without actually saying it. You didn't waste time, you pressed your lips against his and you sighed against him.

You had little to no experience so his lips quickly dominated yours. First, it started as slow and comforting... But then it turned rough and needy. Like you both had been waiting for this your entire lives. His hands traveled up your shirt and he ran his calloused hands against your soft skin. Your fingernails dug into the nape of his neck and you slightly tugged at his baby hairs.

But just as it was going to go further the sound of loud bangs at your front door stopped you in your tracks. "Y/N?!" Ellie's voice yelled for you. You pulled your head back, the small pop sound was made when your lips separated from Joel's. You licked your bottom lip and didn't move for a moment. But the sound of another loud bang at your door brought you back to reality. "I... I should get that." You mumble. "Yeah..." He whispered. Joel moved away from you and stood up. You got up yourself and slowly walked to the front door.

It's safe to say that you and Joel's relationship was never going to be the same again.

IF YOU ENJOY THIS I CAN MAKE A PART 3 :)

MASTERLIST

[ezrabridgerr]

just saw a post saying "in joel's defence", ummm he needs a defence? like what the fuck else was he supposed to do, who the hell is questioning his actions, what's the offence here,

[rosieshipper]

How I feel rn after finishing episode six of the last of us

!Spoilers in the tags!

[skoulsons]

Shipping Joel and Ellie literally makes no sense. This man loses his daughter and lives his life grieving her and being shaped by the violence of the world he lives in. She is constantly a part of his life (in his broken watch) and he has never properly grieved her since her death. Then some other little girl comes into his life and brings his fatherhood back out and makes him giggle and makes his heart beat again and annoys him like a child does to their parent and persistently asks him questions like he knows everything. And then he protects her and cares about her well-being and tries to protect her innocence and provide for her, literally everything a parent is supposed to do, and y’all see them as something else? An entire story about a man finding his second chance at fatherhood and a little girl experiencing firsthand the profound love of a father and y’all just…twist it into something that’s ILLEGAL. And you WRITE ABOUT IT? I cannot stop peoples thoughts, as much as I want to, but there are lines you should never reach in writing (and your thinking), and this is one of them

[agirlking]

Hi, fellow anti-anti here, so please let's be friends even if we agree to disagree because it's all fiction anyway :) And sorry about the long ask.

I saw your posts about Joel, and I do get your point - that Joel was motivated by his own feelings, not morality. But I genuinely want to understand why you think Joel was the bad guy in that ending.

The Fireflies didn't ask Ellie if she was ok with sacrificing herself to make the vaccine and didn't let Joel talk to her. The only explanation as to why is because that way Marlene and Jerry could comfort themselves by believing Ellie would have said "yes" rather than risking her saying "no" and having to kill a horrified Ellie explicitly against her will.

If the Fireflies had given Ellie a choice, if Joel and Ellie had the opportunity to talk first, if Joel were unable to convince her to not go through with the surgery/sacrifice, and heard from her own lips that this was what she really wanted... Can you see Joel gunning down the Fireflies in cold blood while dragging a horrified Ellie away from the hospital against her will? I think most fans' gripe with the narrative in Part II that Joel took away Ellie's choice is because the Fireflies were the ones who actually did that.

And yes, later Ellie feels betrayed by Joel's actions and lies, and she says she would rather have followed Marlene’s plan. But let’s invert the original scene: When Ellie is just about to get sedated for the surgery, she hears shots being fired and Joel’s scream. She runs off and sees Joel dead and Marlene holding the gun that killed him. Ellie realizes the truth: nobody had told her that the surgery would kill her and Joel was trying to stop them. Would she still have followed Marlene and accepted her death peacefully, and think Joel was in the wrong for trying to save her? I think it’s natural for Ellie to get mad at Joel for what he did and ignore Marlene precisely because Joel survived and Marlene didn’t, but I fully believe if the scenario was inverted, Ellie would have supported Joel’s actions.

I don’t really see what makes Joel the bad person, I think in the end he was basically a cornered animal who reacted purely on impulse to the Fireflies’ unilateral decisions. Would really like to know your point of view on what makes him bad.

I don't say this with disrespect, but honestly I'm exhausted of having this argument, cause it just goes in circles, so I'm not going to get TOO into all of this.

Joel doomed humanity for his own feelings. Joel disregarded Ellie's agency and autonomy for his own feelings. That makes him the bad guy. He was not panicking when he killed them, he was calm. He knew what he was doing, and his calm demeanor in the car afterward and his unflinching lies only prove that.

I very very very very VERY VERY VERY often see this argument of "The FIREFLIES took her choice because they didn't ask her." But...Ellie told Joel before they got there she wanted the cure made period. At any cost. Did she use the words "including if it kills me"? No. Was that the implication? Yes. Her decision was MADE. (And if they were taking her choice then why is it okay Joel did that too? Wouldn't the answer be he should've broken her out and run off and given her a chance to wake up and decide to go back? But he didn't do that, because it wasn't about that. This is what I mean when I say people push their own morals onto it. Joel did not think for a second about how wrong it was Ellie didn't get to choose, he was thinking how he'd feel if she died. Which is a very normal way for a parent to react.) It doesn't MATTER the Fireflies made a decision instead of asking her (who would want to do that? Let a kid know you're going to kill them? And as saving humanity is objectively more important than ONE life, then what would they do if she said that wasn't okay? They'd have to kill her anyway, yeah you're right it probably was to comfort themselves because they were not psychopaths who wanted to do this, but recognized they had to.) Because Ellie already made that choice.

That was the whole reason for Sam, that plus her experience with Riley. Ellie WATCHED two people turn and die that could've been saved with a cure. (This was further emphasized with the body she finds in the hotel with Joel in the second game). She can't ignore that. She doesn't value her life more than everyone else's, and she SHOULDN'T, because as much as we and Joel love her her life isn't more valuable than every person that won't have to turn, and be killed by someone they love, if a cure and or vaccine existed.

And Joel was already a bad person. The first game told us that before the ending. Tommy's reactions told us that. Joel realizing the guy was faking his injury told us that. How calmly he was able to bludgeon a man to death told us that, (I do not blame him for wanting to stop Ellie being cannibalized and assaulted, I'm talking about his demeanor and how calm it was). Joel was never good.

And that's okay! It's okay Joel is not good and it's okay he did something wildly wrong, that makes him interesting. And he does still love Ellie and in many ways was a good father. That does not make him a good person.

I guess part of the issue with why I disagree with so much of the fandom here is I'm a type of person who sees those "you can kill ten people to save one newborn or sacrifice the newborn to save ten people" questions and go "well sacrifice the newborn. Duh. Needs of the many." So I have never gotten how it could be a debate, regardless of how it went down, if it was right to destroy all possibility of a cure. To me it would never be right. Though I acknowledge that's me putting my morals on the situation lol so I'm not fully above it. But I think it let me step back from the knee-jerk reaction of "but they're killing a kid!" to think about it differently.

I apologize if I sound hostile, I tend to be passionate, and as I said I've spent YEARS seeing people ignore what the story was trying to say, and in the process harass a lot of people (like Abby's face model...) because their headcanons weren't what they chose to validate, even though narratively and tonally the second game was sound. Hell we even all knew Joel would die! The very first teaser trailer we saw everyone went "oh Joel's going to die." But then it happened and everyone acted shocked.

[laligraves]

morning run

joel miller x fem!reader

[18+] | wc: ~ 2.8k summary: Joel overhears your argument with the neighbor. masterlist | AO3

warnings: HBO Joel, TLOU AU, dubious consent (i'm so serious, don't read if it makes you uncomfortable), NSFW, pre/no outbreak, some proofreading, Joel is a tall and very strong man, older man/college-aged reader, Joel lives in a wealthy neighborhood with an HOA (homeowners association), no use of y/n or too many details on reader's appearance, somewhat public setting, breeding kink (kinda), fingering, squirting, unprotected sex, creampie

“These HOA people are vultures,” your sister mutters. 

You look up from your laptop and watch out the window as the committee leaves on their golf cart, most likely on their way to torment another house on the block. 

“Is it that big of a deal that my flower garden has the wrong color of roses?” 

“There’s a wrong color of roses?” you ask in confusion. 

“Yes! The president of the HOA, Susan,” you sister spits out in disdain, “only wants light pink roses on this block.” 

She slams the written warning on the entrance table and storms off into the kitchen. “I’m not sure how her husband stands her. I guess that’s why he spends so much time at the golf course.” 

You follow her into the kitchen, partly because you want a break from your assignments and also because you want to hear more gossip about her new neighborhood. 

“You know she made me pay a fine because my car was left on the driveway after hours? It’s my driveway!” 

You raise your eyebrows in surprise. “Suddenly, I’m not so jealous about your new place.” 

She throws a sponge at your head. 

“Why don’t you just say no?” you ask as you narrowly dodge the sponge. 

“I’ve tried so hard to be nice to everyone here. But all Susan does is turn people against me. Everytime I walk outside to grab the mail or go to work, people give me dirty looks!” 

You don’t like seeing your sister like this. It’s her home. One she worked very hard to buy in this wealthy neighborhood. No one has the right to make her feel like an outsider. So you develop a plan. 

You find out Susan’s schedule fairly easily. Every morning at 8 a.m. she walks her husband to his car and kisses him goodbye before he leaves for work. She then walks back inside for her notebook and pen to then walk around the neighborhood. 

She stops at every house to ensure it fits her standards and if they don’t, she leaves a written warning on the front door. During the weekends, she and her gang of friends drive around on a golf cart to give out even more citations. 

So at exactly 7:55 A.M., you make your way to her house. You’re careful in the outfit you chose this morning: a tight sports bra and running shorts. She, and most importantly her husband, are definitely going to notice you. 

You slow down as you round the corner, already seeing her husband place his briefcase in the backseat of his beamer. She walks right behind him with a lunch pail and kisses his cheek. You shout out a good morning and watch as they both turn to look at you. 

Her right eye immediately begins to twitch and she plasters on a fake smile. His eyes do an appreciative sweep of your body as he walks to the end of the driveway. 

“Good morning! Susan,” he says turning to his wife, “why didn’t you tell me we had a new neighbor?” 

He grasps your hand and gives it a firm shake. His thumb caresses the back of your hand as he slowly lets go. Susan finally reaches the both of you and grabs onto her husband's arm to pull him away. 

You give him a sweet smile, pushing your chest out in a calculated move so he has no choice but to look.   

“I’m just visiting my sister over on Ocean Avenue. The neighborhood is so nice I thought it would be perfect for my morning runs.” 

“I agree, you can run anytime you want–” 

“Sweetie,” Susan interrupts in a high-pitched voice, “you’re going to be late.”

He asks for your name and what you’re studying in college, then shakes your hand again while Susan seethes next to the driver’s side door. He drives off, promising a tour of the country club later that day. You're left standing alone with Susan, just as you wanted.  

“Look here, young lady,” she snarls, “this is a neighborhood full of families. Not some frat house. We do not allow blatant displays of–of–well this ,” she says as she motions to your workout attire. “I am going to write your sister a citation for this disrespectful action.” 

“Well, that does make me sad. I guess I’ll have to ask your husband to cheer me up later when I visit him.” 

Her face turns beet red and you wonder briefly if steam will come out of her ears. “What did you just say?” 

“Your husband was so nice in inviting me to the country club, how can I say no? I really need to work on my swing–” 

“You stay away from my husband,” she whispers, pointing a finger at your face, “or I will find a way to run your sister out of this neighborhood.” 

“Leave my sister alone,” you say as you walk right up to her and push her finger out of the way, “or I’ll fuck your husband.”

Susan gasps, dramatically placing a hand over her mouth. 

“I’ll make sure he finishes inside me, too. Maybe give him a baby.” 

With that, you continue your jog down the sidewalk. You don’t notice Susan’s neighbor, who stands by his gate and watches you run off.  

- 

You continue your jogs for the next few days, waving at Susan and her husband every morning. You and Susan come to an unspoken agreement: she stops bothering your sister and you make sure to stay away from her husband. 

Just as you jog past her house, you notice an envelope on the sidewalk. It’s next to a brick mailbox that has the name Miller written on a plaque. You check the envelope and sure enough you see it's made out to a Joel Miller . 

You walk up to the iron gate that matches the address and call out a hello , but no one answers. There’s red roses that wrap around the expansive gate which look and smell beautiful, but block your view inside. You test the handle of the gate and luckily it opens. 

“They must’ve dropped it when getting the mail this morning,” you mumble to yourself. 

“Mornin’, doll,” a gruff voice calls out to your right. 

You jump slightly and turn to look, finding a man crouched by the gate. He stands to his full height and you have to tilt your head up just so you can keep eye contact. 

“Good morning,” you whisper. 

He’s older and handsome, much more attractive than the college boys you're used to. He places his gardening shears down and takes off his gloves to shake your hand. You do your best to control the shiver that courses through your body at the touch of his warm skin. 

“Joel,” he states, swiping his other hand through his salt and pepper hair. 

You open your mouth to say your name, but he beats you to it. 

“How did you know–” 

“I heard your conversation with Susan the other day,” Joel interrupts with a slight smirk. 

His hand tightens for a moment until he lets go, dragging his fingers over your palm. You feel embarrassment wash over your body and you quickly hand him the envelope. 

“Right–um, how much of the conversation did you hear?” 

He lets out a laugh and drops the envelope into a basket that you’ve now just noticed. It’s full of the same red roses that cover his gate. 

“Just the part where you threatened to fuck her husband if she didn’t leave your sister alone,” he says, placing his hands on his hips. “Effective threat, it seems.” 

His eyes sweep over your body and you become hyper aware of the workout clothes you're wearing. Once again, a sports bra and running shorts. 

“She’s backed down,” you say after a few moments, crossing your arms to cover your pebbling nipples. 

“So,” he continues while walking closer, “you offerin’ to fuck every man on the block or just her’s?” 

His words send a shock wave through your body, landing right between your legs. You ignore the pulsing in your cunt and instead lift your hand to slap him across the face. 

As if he’s able to sense what you’re about to do, he catches your wrist before your hand makes contact with his face. 

“How dare you–”  

“Don’t act so innocent now,” he growls, pushing your body against the gate. “You told Susan you were going to let ‘em fill you up. Put a baby inside of you.” 

Your back makes contact with the gate, luckily in a place where there’s no thorns. You try to push out of his hold, confused at how much you enjoy being manhandled by an older man you just met. 

“Let me go or I’ll scream–”

“Joel?” a familiar high-pitched voice interrupts you. “Are you there?” 

Your body stills at the sound of Susan’s voice. Theoretically, you could use this opportunity to scream for help. Sure, you’d have to face Susan again, but you’d be able to escape. 

Except, Joel manages to pick up your lower body and push his jean-covered cock right against your cunt. You wrap your legs around his waist to not fall and place one hand on the iron gate behind you.

He rocks against you, moving a finger in front of his mouth, motioning you to stay quiet. Your mouth drops open in surprise as he grabs your hips and begins to grind you down on him. 

“Yes, ma’am. What can I help you with?” Joel responds. 

She tries to open the gate and you press your body back so she won’t see you. You’re not quite sure why you’re trying to hide. 

“Joel, honey. Your gate is locked,” she says. “Come unlock it and let me in.”  

Through your daze, you faintly register her tone. Did she just call him honey?  

“Sorry, Susan. It does that sometimes. I’ve got my hands full at the moment,” Joel calls out, giving you another hard thrust. 

You bite your lip to stop the moan that threatens to escape. 

“That’s okay, I just wanted to stop by and warn you about the young lady that’s staying with her sister over on Ocean Avenue.” 

Joel raises his eyebrow and stops his movements, dropping your thighs from his hold. You're shocked again, feeling dejected that he’s stopping.  

He quickly spins you around and bends you over, pushing a hand between your thighs. You grab onto the iron gate once more and slap a hand over your mouth as he begins to rub a big hand over your thin shorts. 

“Warn me?” he calls out. “What’s this young lady been up to?” 

“Well, that–that– tramp ,” Susan spits out, “is acting in ways that she shouldn’t. I know you’re a hardworking man who has done so much for our community and the last thing I want is this girl making you uncomfortable.” 

Joel yanks down your shorts and plunges a thick finger inside of you. You’d roll your eyes at her words but instead they're rolling into the back of your skull. He thrusts his finger a few times and calls out a is that right to Susan. 

Joel adds another finger and you almost fall at the stretch. If those are just his fingers, you wonder how big his cock is. He uses his other hand to keep you steady and continues to fuck you with his thick fingers while talking to her. 

“I just,” Susan continues, “I don’t know what to do. Maybe we can find a way for the sister to leave? If we all band together?” 

Joel removes his hand from between your legs and places it on your back to keep you in place. This time you actually struggle in his hold, wanting to face Susan and give her a piece of your mind. 

“Now, Susan,” Joel admonishes, “don’t go blaming the sister for the younger one’s actions. There’s no need to be spiteful to our new neighbor. There’s more than enough room in this neighborhood for everyone.” 

You stop, surprised that Joel is standing up for your sister. He presses against you and you feel the roughness of his jeans on your bare skin. He brings you in close, gently rubbing his crotch on your slick cunt. 

“Oh, you’re so right, Joel. I just get so caught up in the politics of the HOA. I want this community to be perfect.” 

A wet glob of spit lands on your asshole and you clench in surprise. Joel quietly unzips his jeans and takes out his cock. 

“Fucking perfect little asshole,” he whispers, pushing the tip of his cock right on your hole. “Not today, baby. Today is that juicy, little cunt.” 

You arch your back and barely manage to stifle a whimper when he teases the tip of your entrance. 

“What was that, Joel?” Susan calls out. 

“That the community is already perfect, Susan.” 

His voice sounds annoyed at this point. 

“You think so, Joel? Thank you, I–” 

Joel uses that moment to plunge inside of you, bumping your g-spot and reaching so deep that you choke on your own spit. 

“I’m getting a call, Susan,” Joel says through gritted teeth, “I’ll speak to you later.” 

Susan gives a sad goodbye while you bite on your hand to stop your moans. Joel is big, much bigger than any of the boys in your past. Your pussy spasms and flutters over his length and you breathe in deep to adjust to the size. 

“S’tight,” he mutters, ”keep quiet f’me, doll. Too many people on the sidewalk at this time of mornin’.” 

You hum in response, wanting him to fuck you, to stretch you and make you come on his cock. He starts a rhythm, keeping one hand on your waist so you match his thrusts and the other slips between your thighs. 

Sticky wetness drips down your inner thighs and he swipes two fingers through the mess to bring them up to your clit. Joel pistons faster, rubbing harsh circles on your clit that have you accidently whimpering in pleasure. 

“I know, baby,” he coos, “feels so good, doesn’t it?” 

“ Y–yes ,” you whisper. 

“Showing off that pretty body when runnin’ around the neighborhood,” he groans. “Picking fights and trespassing. Just needed someone to fuck some manners into you.” 

Your fingers curl into the iron gate and your back arches even deeper. He speeds up, becomes harsher in his thrusts once he notices your pussy become softer, wetter, gripping his cock with each plunge. 

“Little cunt can barely take my cock,” Joel groans, “fuck, doll. You’re choking me.”

You wish you could bite his neck, leave red hickeys on his tan skin that you imagine tastes like salt and roses and spearmint. Your head spins from lust and you feel the coil in your belly, ready to burst at any moment. 

You hear voices, people walking past on the sidewalk for some early morning exercise. Joel lands a quick slap, slap to your clit and your cumming, clenching hard on his length while you fall apart. 

Your vision blurs and you faintly hear him say there you go, make a fuckin’ mess on me . Wetness spills from your cunt, only making it easier for Joel. You bite hard on your bottom lip to stop the whimpers and your fingers curl into the iron gate. 

“Gonna cum inside this pussy, put a baby in there,” he whispers. 

“ Please, Joel,” you whine. 

He brings your back to his chest, molds his lips to your neck and bites down, moving you like his personal fleshlight. Joel groans in your shoulder and then you feel it, hot pulses of cum, filling you up. 

You hold onto his arm that's branded across your chest and squeeze down on him, milking every drop from his body, wanting it to mark you deep inside.

Joel's body trembles from the exertion and he stumbles as he finishes, turning his body to lean on the iron gate with you still attached to his cock.

He keeps you pressed to him for a few moments, keeping his nose pressed to your neck as he breathes deep. Your own breathing regulates and you become aware of the sensitivity all over your body.

Joel stands straight and gently pulls out. He reaches into his jeans pocket to reach for a clean handkerchief that he uses to clean up between your thighs.

"Same time tomorrow?" he asks.

You manage a rough fuck off and lightly push at his shoulders. He laughs and helps you fix your clothes. He swipes your phone that fell on the ground the moment he pushed you to the gate, having you unlock it so he can put in his phone number.

You make it back home a few minutes later, sore but for the most part, satiated . Your sister gets home hours later, once you've relaxed in her ginormous bathtub and washed away the evidence of your morning run.

"Are you seeing someone?" she teases as she walks in.

"What? No, why?"

"Someone left a giant bouquet of red roses on the porch." 

Sure enough, you find a bouquet of familiar red roses on the front doorstep. You don’t need a notecard to know who they're from.