#i guess. i need to sort out my tags fr

[salad-storm]

This turned from me trying to do something serious to just having fun with it and I think that's great

[zishu-arts]

god okay actually i might take a small break from “give all the best to you” fic because it’s starting to burn me out, not sure for how long but hopefully it’ll pass

sorry guys !!!

[mclqren]

WINNER TAKES IT ALL ★ CS55

PAIRING ✦ carlos sainz x fem!singer!reader

SUMMARY ✦ you and your boyfriend both seem to be very lucky recently: you in opening for taylor swift, and him in winning the australian grand prix [ SMAU ]

WARNINGS ✦ cursing

REQUESTED ✦ here!

NOTES ✦ for the purpose of this fic, taylor has added an extra date in melbourne for the friday before the australian grand prix. as per request, the fc i've used is sabrina carpenter, but feel free to picture whoever you want! my requests are open so feel free to leave a request :)

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liked by carlossainz55, taylorswift, and 3,055,971 others

tagged taylorswift

yourusername and with that we have one show left: back to melbourne in a couple of weeks! thank you all so much for the support, love you all like crazy 🫶

view all comments

user1 you're such a disney princess i can't

user2 DON'T MESS W ME RN IM SO SAD UR NO LONGER OPENING.

user3 FR what will we do without all of her content???

user4 ☹️☹️

carlossainz55 so proud of you!!

yourusername im way prouder of you 💘

user5 PARENTS WOOHOO

taylorswift i'll miss you, my angel! ❤️

yourusername love you sm 😢💘💘

yourusername

( caption one: just woke up and my boyfriend's got appendicitis hellooo?? wtf have i missed while i've been in singapore. | caption two: never mind guys all is well ❤️ ( i am a photographer and i took THIS photo ) )

liked by carlossainz55, charles_leclerc, and 3,281,119 others

tagged carlossainz55

yourusername impromptu visit to jeddah after SOMEONE'S appendix was removed...thanks for giving me an excuse to see you carlos 😘💘💘

view all comments

user6 THE WAY HE STILL WENT TO SEE THE GP IS CRAZY ur boyfriend is hella strong

yourusername ur telling me 🤷‍♀️

user6 OMG YOU REPLIED??? I LOVE YOU

user7 nah carlos acc has to be some sort of super human because how THE FUCK did he walk after that surgery.

user8 literally convinced he is atp.

carlossainz55 the appendix wasn't my fault...

charles_leclerc or was it 🤷‍♂️

yourusername hmmm...

user9 i'm acc their biggest fan you don't understand

liked by carlossainz55, taylorswift, and 3,331,354 others

tagged taylorswift

yourusername from the bottom of my heart, thank you thank you thank you for all of the love and support i've received over the past couple of weeks. they've honestly been such a fever dream for me: like you're telling me that i was opening for THE taylor swift?? twelve year old me would be screaming right about now, let me tell you that much. i've loved every minute of this experience, and i can't wait to see what era is next for me 🫶

view all comments

user13 i still remember watching you when you were eighteen, just releasing music on youtube 🥺

user14 she's come sooo far since then im so proud of her

taylorswift loved having you with me!! couldn't think of anyone else better to keep me company during these times ❤️

yourusername thank you sm tay, im going to miss youuu 💘💘

user15 why am i acc tearing up this is so sad

carlossainz55 now i have you all to myself ❤️

yourusername yeah well you have ur cars AND charles so i guess it's not just me is it.

charles_leclerc why am i being mentioned

yourusername ur just like collateral damage in this argument

liked by yourusername, charles_leclerc, and 989,911 others

carlossainz55 back from my surgery and into P2 👊 looking forward to the race!

view all comments

user16 SMOOTH OPERATOR IS BACKKK

user17 the surgery did NOT hold him back

user18 NO REAL THE GUY WAS FLYINGGG

user19 the extra weight is gone and now he's in first row THIS IS WHAT WE NEEDED

yourusername do you ever actually rest like. ur appendix was just taken out when i get colds i stay in bed longer.

carlossainz55 yeah i know from firsthand experience 😘

user20 SHE'S SO REAL FOR THIS THOUGH

yourusername either way i'm so proud of you! smash it tomorrow 💘

liked by carlossainz55

user21 the way y/n is literally so supportive of him is my fav thing

user22 all whilst telling him off for not resting enough 🤣🤣 she's too iconic for us, i fear

liked by carlossainz55, fransisca.cgomes, and 3,215,984 others

tagged fransisca.cgomes

yourusername me and kika are truly THOSE BITCHES 😘

view all comments

user23 SPEAK ON ITTTT 🗣️🗣️🗣️

user24 my fav wags fr 🫶

fransisca.cgomes my girlll 😍😍

yourusername foreverrr 💘

fransisca.cgomes that second pic is soooo yum

yourusername leave pierre for me RIGHT NOW.

fransisca.cgomes gladlyyy! 😍

pierregasly HUH??

yourusername got ur girl tripod how does it feel 🤣

carlossainz55 ❤️❤️

yourusername love youuu!!

liked by yourusername, landonorris, and 1,443,999 others

carlossainz55 P1 babyyy!! Onto Japan we go 🎢❤️

view all comments

user28 THE SMOOTHEST OPERATOR AROUND

user29 staying up until 2am to watch it was SOOO WORTH IT

user30 SO PROUD!!

yourusername YESSS I KNOW THAT'S RIGHTTT!!

liked by carlossainz55

yourusername MY FUCKING MANNN LET'S GOOO!! P1 BABY 💘💘

carlossainz55 ❤️

user31 the way she supports him will never not warm my heart

liked by carlossainz55, charles_leclerc, and 3,331,354 others

tagged carlossainz55

yourusername he only went and did it!! after his appendix got removed and all. couldn't be fucking prouder 💘

view all comments

yourusername proud of @/charles_leclerc as well!! what a way to end the weekend 😘

charles_leclerc thank you y/n!! 😍

yourusername FORZA FERRARI 👊

user31 the way they support each other >>>

user32 actual power couple idc

user33 i need to find myself a y/n asap.

user34 WHY ARE YOU SO PERFECT

carlossainz55 te amo siempre ❤️

liked by yourusername

carlossainz55 it was the lack of an appendix that did it 🤣

yourusername @/charles_leclerc are you taking notes??

charles_leclerc already scheduling an appointment for the winter, don't worry 📝

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[leclercsluvs]

CL16 | Already Over | smau

part 1 | masterlist

an: this is my first time writing something like this, so please be nice :,) also this will include sort of cheating (not really sure what to classify it as), and for that i am going to be using pics of charles and alex, however do i see any alex hate you are blocked or something, thank you very much) fc: sabrina carpenter pairing: charles leclerc x fem!reader inspired by: vicious by @azulpitlane and the album 'emails i can't send' by sabrina carpenter

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris and 2.047.489 others yourusername me and my baby <3 tagged: charles_leclerc

charles_leclerc can we stay like this forever?

yourusername always <3

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, carlossainz55 and 2.790.487 others yourusername looks good in photographs tagged: charles_leclerc

charles_leclerc you're the one looking good in photographs. why do you think i have the camera out?

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, yourbff and 2.047.489 others yourusername done with touring for now, gonna focus on writing some more music for all of you. see u soon <3

charles_leclerc beautiful

yourusername <3

charles_leclerc

liked by yourusername, pierregasly and 948.302 others charles_leclerc you're my only one <3 tagged: yourusername

yourusername love uuu <33

yourbff woah isnt that a little early-? yourusername love works in mysterious ways

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, yourfriend and 1.409.867 others yourusername never been so glad to be this tired. (thank you lando for the teddy bear, it was really comfortable) tagged: landonorris

charles_leclerc glad to be of help ;)

alex_albon wow i did not need this information

landonorris i want it back >:(

yourusername sorry not happening, too comfy landonorris please i said you could borrow it 😭 charles_leclerc sorry mate, it's hers now

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, danielricciardo and 1.409.867 others yourusername i might be mad for him (dont tell him, it'll go to his head) tagged: charles_leclerc

charles_leclerc wonder who

yourusername shush

yourbff girllll whattt??? since whennn?

yourfriend i think she may be a little crazy yourusername i told youuuu 😭

f1wagsupdates

liked by f1updates, sharllover and 375 others f1wagsupdates charles was spotted with a woman today at the beach. we have also seen him being flirty with y/n l/n on instagram, and this most certainly is not y/n. what's going on? tagged: charles_leclerc

sharllover you think y/n cheated?

f1editor i wouldn't even doubt it 🙄 luvy/n now why would you start a rumor like that? scfty/n *man hangs out with another woman* *first woman didn't do shit* people: SHE MUST HAVE DONE SOMETHING WRONG!! y/n.aep now why is it charles is spotted with a different woman and y/n is being accused of cheating? 😭

cl_lover damn and i thought he was such a nice man 😭

f1updates i guess it is all men 💔

charles_leclerc

liked by yourusername, olliebearman and 1.199.750 others charles_leclerc i'm too late to be your first love, but i'll always be your favorite tagged: yourusername

yourusername favorite forever <33

yourfriend girl that's wild y/n.aep girl did you not see the photos? 😭 y/nsfav we need her to see fr

leclerslove ew

cl_wife i dont know but i feel like she's with him for the fame

lovy/n she literally has a successful career on her own, what are you on about? 😭

lechair she gives pick me vibes idk

leclerclvr idk him and charlotte were better IDC WHAT YALL SAY

clarkeysbog posting this right after the photos of him and the other girl leaked??? kinda sus ngl

norris.vfx no literally what is he thinking??? 😭

-

part 2

[shifterbee]

WARNING: LONG POST AHEAD

My Relationship With Reality Shifting

What I'm going to be talking about:

How I found out about shifting

My initial thoughts/ feelings about shifting

What led me to believe in shifting

Why I don't doubt that shifting is real

What doubts I do have (let's be honest, not everyone can be completely free of doubts)

My approach to shifting when I first started

My current approach to shifting

I didn't want this post to be too long so if you want/need me to explain anything further then let me know <3

Any trigger warnings will be in place wherever may be necessary <3

How it all started:

Like many people in this community, I first found out about shifting through TikTok in 2020. In my case, it was around mid-September when I was scrolling through my FYP and saw the video that changed my life forever.

OK, that was a bit dramatic, but you get the point. The video that I saw was this girl acting out something that she claimed happened in her DR. The scene went something like this (my memory is really blurry, so bear with me):

She had just shifted back to her DR, and It was during the battle at Hogwarts. there were a bunch of people coming up to her saying things like "Where did you go?" and "We missed you so much"(your typical 2020 misinformation). the battle was starting, and she looked at everyone and said, "I know what will help us. everyone close your eyes, trust me." IDK, I think she was trying to group shift everyone out of her DR???? either way it didn't work but when they opened their eyes the portals from Avengers Endgame(I think) started opening up and the Avengers stepped out of them. Her reaction to that was like "Well I guess that also works".

There might have been more to it, but that's all I can remember right now. Also PLEASE tell me if you also saw that video and/or remember who posted it. I wonder what they're doing now.

At first, I was a little confused, but then I looked at the tags and saw one that said: "reality shifting." at this time, my FYP was filled with a bunch of fanfic-related stuff, So I guess because of that, I just assumed that reality shifting was just a weird fanfic tope used in crossover fics. I was also sort of on DracoTok, so I wasn't really confused about why I would be seeing Harry Potter fanfic on my FYP.

I scrolled away from the video and didn't think much of it until a few days later when I looked up the tag and saw a bunch of videos with advice and methods on how to shift. at this point I was very confused and I was just thinking "Wait, are these people being fr". After scrolling through the tag for a bit I found a video explaining what it was.

I don't know who made that video. But one thing I do know is that I have never doubted the existence of shifting since.

Why I started believing:

I'm just going to use bullet points for this section. but if you want me to go into more detail about anything, let me know.

my prior knowledge/belief of out-of-body experiences (i.e. astral projection)

my belief that humans are always more powerful than what we usually think/believe.

Also, potential TW: brief mention of drugs

probably the biggest reason was a story I heard from a YouTuber about one of his friends who, after taking DMT, claimed to have lived in a forest with elves for 3 years and was able to give a detailed description of what happened in those 3 years. The story I'm talking about is about 10 minutes into this video I immediately thought of this story when I saw videos of people talking about their experiences in their DRs. And since this drug is something that can be naturally produced by the brain, it didn't seem like much of a stretch to suggest that you could trigger its production without taking any drugs.

I want to make it very clear that I am not promoting or encouraging the use of drugs/illegal substances in order to shift.

My approach to shifting then vs. now:

I have always treated shifting like a skill. At first, I thought that if I practiced the methods/techniques I learned from Shifttok enough, I would eventually have to shift.

Now, I treat shifting as something you allow yourself to do rather than force. It's kind of like sleeping. The more you try to force it, the less likely it's going to happen.

More recently, I have been focusing more on improving my confidence when it comes to my abilities. In my opinion, it is not enough to intend to do something you also have to have the confidence to be able to do it.

I think that is why most people aren't shifting. There are only so many times a person can fail at something and not lose their confidence.

End Notes:

I think that this is all I wanted to say. But, once again, if you want me to explain something, let me know what it is.

[whumperofworlds]

Whumptober 2024 Day 4 (ALT): Stranger

TAGS: @gala1981 @whumptober-archive @crash-bump-bring-the-whump @rebelxwriter @expressionless-fr

@fourwingedsnake @whumble-beeee @whumpninja

CWS: language barriers, blood, passing out, caretaking, rescue, male whumpee, female caretaker, male caretaker, nonbinary caretaker, genderfluid caretaker, caretaker x caretaker x caretaker x caretaker.

A/N: Mariano belongs to @crash-bump-bring-the-whump !!! Thanks for letting me borrow your guy!!! He's fun to write :D Also, any spoken sentences that are in italics mean that the characters are talking a different language, just FYI!

ENJOY!

_____

Hypnosis / Sensory deprivation / "You're still alive in my head." / ALT: Language Barriers

Ayame hated patrols. They were so boring that she had nearly fallen asleep a few times, much to Noboru's dismay. She knew how important it was to protect the village she and the others loved, along with the kingdom of Qawen, but she couldn't help but hew and haw when she was chosen to patrol.

She paced around, her ears opened and her eyes peeled for anything suspicious. The past few days had been peaceful, much to her relief. It had been a hectic week, stopping monsters and bandits from killing innocents and destroying property. She was glad that the Qawen Ninjas had a break. However, she kept glancing around for anything or anyone out to ambush her. There was no time to relax; she had to keep focus right now. It was her job anyway, even though she hated patrolling—

Rustle rustle

She froze in her tracks, turning her head to see where the noise was coming from. The bushes nearby rustled, and Ayame could sense a person from behind them.

She raised her shuriken then, ready to strike, but stopped when the person emerged from the bushes.

Her eyes widened at his condition—matted bloody long hair, one side of his glasses broken, cuts all over his body. Clearly, he was hurt, and needed help.

The man's head was down as he slowly walked, and Ayame noticed a limp as he walked. His clothes were unrecognizable—was he from a faraway land? How did he get here, anyway?

He slowly glanced up, spotting her, before he reached out a shaky hand towards her.

"Help…" he spoke in a different language. A language that Ayame didn't recognize. But she didn't think much of it as she heard voices behind the bushes.

She gritted her teeth, as she grabbed her shurikens once more. There were more people, and they were after this man.

The moment three people emerged from the bushes, she threw the shurikens at their throats. They all fell like sacks of bricks, blood pouring down from their necks. Their weapons, ranging from swords to even axes, fell from their hands as they gurgled. Then, silence.

The man then stumbled on his feet, and collapsed on the ground. Ayame cursed then, rushing forward to kneel down to his level. The man was losing blood. She needed to get him help.

"Noboru! Haruto! Morgan!" Ayame screamed, "Someone's hurt! He needs help!"

___

Noboru watched the injured man as he placed another bandage around his arm. From the injuries, Noboru guessed that this man was attacked by bandits, and was severely hurt as he tried to flee.

Noboru could say that he was incredibly lucky Ayame found him.

Ayame watched as her beloved handled the wounds; Haruto was in the kitchen, making some onigiris for the guest in case he was hungry. Morgan was out to get more medicine from the local healer; he would be back in a minute, she said.

"Have you ever seen clothes like that, No-No?" Ayame asked, tilting her head as she watched Noboru continue to clean the man's wounds.

"I do not," Noboru said with a shake of his head, "from the looks of it, he seemed to be from a faraway land."

"Do you think he moved recently? Or a traveler of sorts?"

"I am not sure… but no matter. We must help him."

"But Noboru…" Ayame whispered, not using the pet name she gave him. That caught the other ninja's attention, as he turned to face one of his lovers. "What if this was all a trick? What if he was letting his guard down to—"

"I understand your concerns, Ayame. However, it is our duty to help those in need. You know of this when we decided to help our village and the kingdom."

Ayame stayed silent, a frown forming on her face. While she was wary of this stranger in their home, she knew that Noboru was right. She wouldn't be shirking her duties like that, and she knew that it would hurt Noboru, Haruto, and Morgan if she did so.

Haruto entered the infirmary of their shared home then, holding a tray of onigiris and a cup of water. They smiled slightly—while they couldn't see due to a bandit attack that cost them their eyes, they could still hear their two beloveds' voices here while they were in the kitchen. "In case our guest is hungry," Haruto spoke in a small whisper.

Noboru smiled. "Place it here, beside our guest, love."

Haruto did as Noboru said, moving and setting the tray right beside the unconscious man. "Has our dear Morgan returned yet?"

"Not yet," Noboru said with a sad shake of his head. "He should be back soon, however. I am sure she managed to find the right medicine and salves to help this man."

Haruto nodded, before they sat down beside the unconscious man. They could hear their guest's breathing, and they turned their head to face him. They frowned, still hearing the labored breathing from the stranger.

"Is our guest still alive?" They questioned.

"He is, from what I could see," Noboru answered, also frowning. "The injuries he had sustained were severe, but he managed to survive the encounter with those bandits thanks to Ayame." He shifted into a cross-legged position. "I am not sure why those bandits were after him. But it would be best to help him."

Haruto nodded with a hum, unsure of what to do or say now. While they had similar worries as Ayame, they didn't want to say anything. It would be against the ninja code, after all.

The three heard low groans, and they all turned their heads to face the man. The man's eyes began to open slowly, as his groans grew louder. He blinked once. Then twice. It took him a few minutes before he glanced around the area and his rescuers. He cringed, however, when he felt the back of his neck throbbing.

"Hey," Noboru whispered, noticing the cringing. "It is okay. You are safe now."

The man looked up at Noboru, a confused eyebrow raised. Noboru frowned, realizing what the issue was. This man likely didn't understand what he was saying with his native tongue.

"I-I…" the man whispered in his language. "I'm sorry. I don't have any money…" He attempted to stand from the futon, but gritted his teeth from the pain flaring up everywhere in his body.

"Please do not move too much," Noboru soothed again, placing a hand on his chest to gently push him down. Seeing the wince from him made Noboru realize his mistake, as he quickly removed his hand from there. "You will open your wounds if you keep moving—"

"Hey guys!" A voice called from the other room. "I'm back!"

The four turned to the door, with the man hissing in pain when he did so. In just a second, Morgan walked into the room, holding a bag of medicine in his hands. Upon seeing the guest awake, she breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh, good, he's awake."

The man coughed again, covering his mouth in the process. Morgan could see the small trail of blood seeping between his fingers, and his eyes widened.

"H-hurts…" he whispered in his native tongue.

Morgan gave him a pitied look. It seemed like his wounds were more severe than they all thought. "Hey," Morgan whispered in the man's language. The three ninjas glanced at him, shock embedded on their faces. "It's okay. We'll help you."

Noboru glanced at Ayame, who's eyes were wide in shock. Haruto's mouth gaped open in surprise.

Of course, they all came to the same realization—Morgan wasn't from Qawen. He was from Treacia. She would know what this stranger was saying.

The man frowned, his eyes still glazed over due to tiredness. "But I…" he began, "I don't have any money."

Morgan shook its head, a friendly smile on their face. "We don't want money; we helped you because it is our duty to do so."

The other three ninjas listened, with Noboru glancing at the guest. The man was still tense, judging by how his shoulders weren't relaxed in the slightest.

"What's your name, by the way?" Morgan asked, still keeping the friendly smile to ease the man's worries.

The guest eased somewhat, as he answered, "Mariano."

Morgan nodded, humming. "Mariano," he said in the ninjas' native language, before speaking in Mariano's language, "A fine name. Where are you from?"

"...The Plains," Mariano answered, uncertain of why he was being asked so many questions.

"The Plains, I see," Morgan said. "I used to travel there to meet with my family every year."

He approached, before she sat cross-legged in front of Mariano as they placed the bag of medicine beside it. Its smile remained on their face, before they continued, "You're safe here, Mariano. You don't have to worry about anyone hurting you here."

Mariano hummed, blinking a few times before he glanced at the tray of food beside him. He eyed the onigiris warily.

"Those are onigiris, a snack that Qawenians like us eat," Morgan explained, "you should give them a try—of course, if you want to."

Mariano nodded, still wary, as he moved to grab one onigiri. After everything he had gone through today, he was surely hungry. Taking the onigiri, he carefully took a bite out of it. He chewed once, twice, three times, before swallowing.

While his stoic facial expression didn't show it, Morgan could see a twinkle in his eye, before Mariano slowly ate the onigiri small bite by small bite. Morgan smiled then—good, he was eating well.

Once Mariano finished his onigiri, he reached out to grab the cup of water. He studied it for a moment, before he gulped it down. The four ninjas watched him—from the looks of it, it seemed like he was feeling better.

Once Mariano finished his water, Noboru moved to help him lay back down on the futon. Mariano whispered a "thank you" in his native tongue as he settled in the futon.

"Why were those bandits after you, by the way?" Morgan questioned, tilting his head in curiosity.

Mariano, feeling that he could trust these people now, began: "I'm a traveler, and those bandits tried to rob me. I used my magic to kill some of them, but… they outnumbered me. That's when I stumbled upon here." Mariano cringed when pain flared up everywhere in his body. Letting out a grunt of pain, he sunk further in the covers of the futon. "Forgive me."

"What are you apologizing for?" Morgan questioned.

"For burdening you."

Morgan frowned, but shook his head. "There's no need to apologize. We're doing what we can to help people like you."

Mariano sighed, sinking further in the covers until the upper half of his face was exposed. "Thank you." He whispered.

"Of course," Morgan whispered, "Go ahead and rest, Mariano. The others and I have some duties to attend to. If you need anything, holler, okay?"

Mariano nodded, settling in on the futon. His head throbbed from the day he had, as he fell asleep again.

Morgan stood, and so did the rest of the ninjas, before they left the room. Closing the door, Noboru began asking Morgan, "So Mariano is from the Plains?"

Morgan nodded with a hum. "He said he's a traveler here, and those bandits were after him for money. He said he used magic to kill a few of them, but he was outnumbered before he fled."

"Hold up," Ayame butted in, "Magic? He doesn't have the same ears as a Magical Elf."

"He's from the Plains," Morgan explained, "in the Plains, everyone there knows magic. It's natural that he knows magic even though he's not a Magical Elf."

"What should we do now?" Haruto questioned.

"Mariano is harmless, I can tell," Morgan said. "He can stay until he's better. I'm sure that his family is worried about him."

"A good decision," Noboru said with a nod. He glanced at the door which led to where Mariano was sleeping. "He needs rest for now. Let us carry on our day as usual."

"Just make sure you don't make me patrol again," Ayame quipped with a smirk.

"...I cannot make any promises, Ayame."

[a-lonely-dunedain]

I got tagged by @the-journey-was-the-point for this headcanon game! basically you just plug an OC's name into this headcanon generator and see whether or not what it spits out fits your OC(s)

first up is Tossdir I guess

"Tossdir watches my little pony"

afuyfdgahsjdghjkahsd ok how did they know the last thing I drew was an mlp/lotr thing... anyway yeah sure why not. I think he would casually enjoy it. I feel like Ethedis would be a bigger mlp fan tho, so he probably watches it because of her (a bonding activity <3). his favorite pony is Rainbow Dash btw

"Tossdir can drive"

yes and no. in a modern setting I always envisioned him with a motorcycle, so he can drive that just fine, but DO NOT let this man behind the wheel of a car

"Tossdir got hit by a bus once"

Maybe.

next up Ethedis

"Ethedis's least favourite subject in school was Gym."

yes, accurate. her favorite subject was Everything But Gym. she's a nerd. a scholar with noodley scholar arms. while you studied the blade she... just studied I guess. there's a reason LMs don't get sword proficiency til like level 40 lmao

"Ethedis is a cry baby."

YOU DID NOT HAVE TO COME FOR HER LIKE THAT. she only cries for good reason! the epic line just.... gives a lot of good reasons to cry :(

"Ethedis nearly drowned in a river as a child."

she was just trying to talk to the fish ok??? leave her alone

Margim is up next!

"Margim steals other peoples clothes."

hmmm probably not. I think she's the kind of person who has like 2 outfits that she wears until they can't be worn anymore, she's just piratical like that (meaning she hasn't yet learned she's allowed to have/want more than the bare basics needed to survive)

"Margim bites their nails."

I mean she probably has some sort of nervous habits, but nothing quite as obvious as nail-biting. it's the sort of thing you wouldn't easily notice. like just getting even quieter than usual or suddenly being unable to maintain eye-contact. maybe she fidgets with her hand but only when it's in her pocket so you can't see.

"Margim is afraid to close their eyes in the shower."

yeah she probably would be a bit jumpy in a shower. not only is it loud but she's also unarmed! she might get soap in her eyes this way but it's better than being ambushed!

and let's do a few for Celeair

"Celeair tackles and wrestles people to show affection."

lmao I'd like to see him try. but no fr I don't think he would even if he could, he definitely likes physical affection, but in a more gentle way, like cuddles and hand-holding and tender forehead kisses

"Celeair is in your house"

well, I am currently rotating him in my mind, so does that count as being in my house? he's not in your house tho, person reading this.

"Celeair is smart but also very stupid."

truer words have never been spoken.

annnd let's do some of my less developed OCs for funsies!

"Elwar crashed a riding lawn mower into their fence."

yeah she probably would. she would try to hide it and pretend she didn't tho

"Ciriondil cries while watching disney movies."

Ciriondil doesn't strike me as a disney adult lmao, but more broadly speaking about animated family movies in general? depends on the movie but yeah I think he would, and he wouldn't be ashamed about it either!

"Lothrandon speaks only in meme refrences."

even in a modern setting I am 100% confident this man does not know enough memes to use them in casual conversation. but I do think he would be part of online communities for outdoor hobbyists (like fishing and wilderness camping fourms) and would understand/share boomer memes from those niece communities

"Nimelloth has a pet lizard"

I have just decided that this is true and his name is Lothrandon II. Lothrandon is not aware that his wife named a lizard after him.

and oh gosh right I have to tag people now. uh I do not know who has been tagged already but here! @rohirric-hunter @aurore-parle-de-ses-idees @find-the-path @sweetearthandnorthernsky

[jack-kellys]

welcome to: rizz's extensive uksies notes, which will discuss differences in characterization, sure, but also more important things like staging, scenic and dance changes, and directorial choices (i do talk about the principal characters at the bottom so i'll forgive you for skipping down there if you wanna). i haven't looked at anyone else's posts since i didn't want them to influence my thoughts, but i'll be whipping out the third-of-the-way-through stage management degree for this shit so buckle up. spoilers/major reveals will be in this post, and this post (among all the others relating to major reveals/moments in this version) will be tagged with #newsies spoilers!!!

lets get into it, starting with the reason this show was able to be as much of an experience as it was: the space.

i think it's very important context to this version of newsies that the troubadour theater, previously, had been housing an immersive peaky blinders (popular tv show) experience. this review gives a pretty good idea of what immersive theater is, and it is... a big feat. it's more of an experience than theater, and that same goal was at the heart of the way newsies is done, too, which worked so well. both are historical fictions and are based on real things that happened, which makes it kind of easier to involve an audience imo and lets them believe what's going on.

the stage is a sort of round thrust-style in the shape of what i'm guessing is a flash/flashbulb in reference to obviously the pics we have of the strike and how "big photos attract readers" (aka the audience in this case :)). as yall know from the photos its got the same tower/skeletal setup as bway...to an extent. for bway, that's tbh all they have, but by losing the proscenium stage and moving into a space with so much more free reign, there didn't have to be one big scenic element, and it didn't have to be the only thing to steal the show. like the "big moment" for bway is when the three towers track forward in once and for all, and there's like....at least three different moments just like that in uksies and they don't even need the towers for any of them! because they didn't rely on one thing, they did so many things, and they did them everywhere. to the walls, to the aisles, to the landings, to the air, this show made sure it used every definition of the word 'space' to its fullest. initially it sounds distracting, but making sure they're all around us and making sure that ensemble characters are able to be on their own without the principals near them really humanizes the ensemble as a group of real kids who fr went on strike. i'll come back to humanizing stuff in a bit, but since we've been talking about the theater space, lemme talk abt these scenic elements because damn...

there was a slide jack used a couple times through a hatch door to escape the delanceys thru (with a little >:) wave) and escape the strikebreakers

there were mini trap doors in the stage where items were stored and revealed, and they kind of looked like the grates that sidewalks have/used to have for like rain to drain into in cities <3

there was a rope jack used to swing through and kick a strikebreaker in the face!

the penthouse actually felt like a home rather than literally just a bare bway balcony lmao, like they had mini portraits sticking to a skeletal roof-like overhang that jack probably built on his own, his art was much more obvious and hung up and personalized.

the cart with all the papers on it actually got to be used in staging in really fun ways- it was both chariot and podium for jack and crutchie mainly but they like rode around in it it was cool

medda has a huge lit-up sign for her theater instead of like. an overhang or whatever it is for bway, which is the upgrade she deserves <3

the children's crusade banner wasn't a projection, it actually dropped as a huge literal banner from one of the line sets and jack stood as a shadow behind it with a fist raised >:)

the tables for king of new york weren't the longer bigger ones from bway, it was like actual restaurant-style table for two's like in 92sies!! and they were on wheels, so they had table-ography– this was also possible due to how much more depth, physically, the stage had, like they wouldn't have had room on a proscenium. davey was pushing les around on a table and the kid was just flying around it was super cute and rly well done

speaking of 92sies, remember at the end of their king of new york when the one newsie grabs the ceiling fan and spins around? yeah, uksies does that with these huge practical lights that fly down from above- newsies get to not only hang off of them and do some acrobatics, but they can spin on them, and they not only go insanely fast, but they also are able to go higher the faster they go. seriously one of the most insane displays i've seen in a staged musical of all things, like it felt like a show and not just a musical.

The abundance of scenic and spatial elements leaves a director/choreograoher (because this guy was both, and it is visceral even in the scenes that he's both and it's perfect) with so many options, and fuckin man, did this guy absolutely use all of them to the fullest. i hadn't realized how like....recycled the blocking had been through bway and also touring, because idt they're allowed to really change it. but guys. we'd been watching the same exact movements for years, and NOW THEY'RE ALL NEW!! everything they do, each location of the stage people move to is all different than we've ever seen as a fandom, which is major, because staging is a storytelling device– since if it wasn't, we wouldn't have it. where people are in a space, where people are in relation to others in a space is also huge. the other main thing again is that it isnt a proscenium stage, so it's much easier not to stage people "in a line". think back to the livesies staging for right before the world will know when jack is telling davey about "if your father had a union". picture where they are on the stage in relation to the cart w all the newsies. its in a fucking line, bro.

this show? abused depth beautifully. the stage pictures were extremely memorable, so choreographed, and set the dynamics for scenes so effortlessly. davey is way downstage when jack's trying to convince him to join the strike, so we can see his exact thought process before the final "i guess...you do, mr. president". (speaking of, ryan kopel is genuinely the first davey to actually make that line a weirdly emotional journey?? like davey takes so long to finally say it, like he's getting over the stakes and letting jack's words sit before finally, yes, agreeing.) or when jack has his pre-seize the day monologue (of which i might make an entire post for for personal reasons and i'll link it here if i do), the three scabs are center stage, arranged in this triangle with their backs to each other and their heads down so jack gets to circle them while addressing the stage at large- it just looks so intentional and frankly very pretty to watch since they're all dancers and their posture is so clean. even something to believe in's scene staging is more dynamic because the towers themselves aren't even in a line- they're angled downstage, so even when jack and kath are high up on a more skinny platform there's still depth and an upstage and downstage they can travel on!! it's so thought through. i'll also make a post about more individual moments, but a lot of people have done that so im making the more important post first lmao.

the staging ofc was very intentional, but the transitions were also...like seriously integral to the narrative. idk if you guys know this or not but transitions can make or fuckin break a moment fr and some directors fucking suck at them LMAO but wow. these? the newsies taking on katherine's platform with the same "mornin' miss" air to their movements and kath saying a small 'thank you' to them before she sits for watch what happens, versus the transition into the bottom line where newsies push pulitzer's platform on with heads and backs bowed down, pushing slower, with more effort, like it looks painful when they push on his platform. newsies lifting medda's footlights and sort of "working at the theater" with their movements mirroring dramatic vaudevillian theatre. it was all so fluid and nearly all of it was done by the newsies and none of it was really...hidden, either, and seeing them literally "work" onstage cemented them as "the working boys of the city" really specifically, and in a very special way. like yeah, the invisible workforce, of course they're doing the transitions. beautiful, a+.

among other added elements were the new orchestrations. newsies has never sounded like this before, even excluding the new music they added. there was more base, guitar, and drums, and the tinny trumpet was much more subdued which felt more...realized and less disney, which is for me always welcomed lol. honestly it made the music sound less disney as a whole. very grounded sound overall- ALSO the sound design was so fucking excellent like you walk into the theater and it's the sounds of the city in 1899 and it's so cool...but! yes! there was new music because guess fucking what: every single dance break was extended. every single one. they all of course had new choreo (finallyfinallyfinallyfinally) but also literal new parts to the dance breaks. each by like 3-5 mins. cemented this as a show more so than only a musical which i fucking adored. in a diff post i'll go through each song (though it might. be after i see it again) and talk about the extensions because just....come on director/choreographer!! yes!!

rounding out this post specifically, im gonna nail down some characters and relationships, since honestly they were very different than we've seen before, but there's merit to all of them for real, and i appreciate a shift from how we're used to interpreting them, and honestly i hope it changes our characterizations as a fandom and adds more depth/possibilities!

starting with the romantic hero of the year, jack kelly.

he is distinctly a romantic hero in this- not in the perceived lovesick/floaty way. he's a very raw version of himself, and he's almost a loose canon (until he's forced not to be via blackmail). he's staged very intimately with others when talking one-on-one, which i know is a usual jack trait, but at michael's jack's core is "come on, look at me." every moment with those he loves is personal to him, is treasured and valued. a baseline example is crutchie, of course, who he says "look at me" to in the prologue after crutchie gets discouraged with himself. they aren't staged outward toward the audience, because jack doesn't let it– he is in line with crutchie, really looking at him, and making sure crutchie's looking back. he does this with the scabs too, except he gets to move around them because of how that trio is staged (my god that scene looks and is so beautiful..fuck).

but i think this is very exemplified with davey, actually, because what i love about michael's jack is that the emotions he wears on his sleeve aren't only ones of love- it's all passion, which includes anger. jack and davey do not get along initially. the exchange of "well if he's the best then what's he want with me" is kind of charged, which is exciting- davey really is just there for his family, he doesn't need eyes on him, and he wants to shut it down....but it's shutting it down via undermining jack, which is made clear by jack's reaction that that isn't something that happens around here. "cause you got a little brother" really feels like an 'i don't need you,' in how it's said, and any back and forth they have through that scene is an interesting animosity... which changes the moment davey and les are in danger, when snyder appears and they run (they run SO MUCH in this show oh my god, they run everywhere across everything and up and down), and once they run to the theater and jack gets them out of that situation and davey is seriously like. 'who the fuck was that guy, we had to go through that bc of you, that wasn't okay', and the way jack explains who snyder was...for the first time, jack doesnt match davey's animosity and instead just explains, in lieu/as an apology, the details on who snyder is and to steer clear of him. and instead of saying "right" as davey normally does, he says "thanks for the advice", with the staging squared and head-on to jack. and it isnt sarcastic, it's just genuine, and from that moment on, davey gets the "look at me" treatment. and jack even holds the back of davey's head during i think seize the day and lets his hand slide down his shoulder to daveys chest and daveys hand is on jack's shoulder and they're staged square and not outward like the moment is just for them.

jack's emotions are more visceral than they've been, he's very hot-blooded and it just makes everything hit more. the fucking seize the day monologue. poc fans we finally won. michael took so much time with it, making sure each line was heard and intentional and the audience was doing that thing they do at more serious straight plays with the little "mmhs" when they agree with something and like. he just made sure it was taken so seriously, same with the something to believe in scene. "what is this.. about, for you?" just the way michael structures jack's word is so smart and emotional. he also has this sort of break in his speaking voice that reminded me of jerjor actually, but it obv is just the way he acts and a choice for jack, this cracking of the self when he's vulnerable with someone at the expense of himself.

lemme say that again. this jack's voice literally has an emotional crack in it when speaking vulnerably at the expense of himself, which is SO FUCKIGN SPECIFIC GOD I LOVE HIM FSKDFJSDJ FUCK. it's genius. he does it with katherine during "i ain't stupid, i know that... girls like you, don't end up with.. guys like me." oh my god the FUCKING NOISE THE AUDIENCE MADE. oh it was heartbreaking, like it was genuinely crushing. made me tear up for sure, for obvious reasons lmao. michael is the jack i've always wanted- a little vain (he admires himself in a hand mirror during carrying the banner<3), absolutely turbulent, and painfully, horribly aware of his own stakes in this all. and black LMAO I WONNNNNN HAHAH I WON!!

speaking on crutchie next because he is the narrative of this production.

the fandom has sort of strayed away from the jack+crutchie team and fallen into this jack+race team, and this production makes damn sure that doesn't happen. it is so jack and crutchie, all the way, to the end of the fucking line. he is with jack, central, through all of act one's staging and major numbers- by jack's side for carrying the banner, with him on the cart when it spins around center and moves around the stage for world will know, he leads the newsies up to the world's door to make way for jack, les, and davey to enter it, he's included in seize the day choreo moments, he cries out for jack to get away ("jackie, run! run!!" im. i am. a mess) at the end of the brawl when he knows he's in a situation he can't get out of.

he also has this hug with jack and race when he returns from the refuge that nearly made me yell out loud LMAO (me and @roideny grabbing hold of each other in the theater and all), and the three of them have a personal spot of the stage together looking over the paper when davey makes his first appearance- crutchie is just staged very intentionally near anyone with leadership, cementing him as a leader and is certainly no longer jack's kid-brother anymore. any infantilization is really worked on getting completely gone in this production, the effort is apparent likely especially bc the actor (matthew duckett!! sweetheart supreme!!) is disabled himself!

another really key thing about this crutchie is how loud he is, in every way he possible could be. his color palette is the most stark right along with jack's, he's wearing overalls which no other newsie has, his speaking voice is almost abrasive- it's not rough, per say, but it's sort of coarse and nasally (he's so new yorker and im in love w it), and very distinct. he's also taller than jack (michael my beloved is 5'9", furthering my jack is 5'9" agenda) and like... most of the other newsies tbh.

this production does not give you a choice but to notice him, does not give you a choice but to look at him, does not allow you to ignore crutchie in any way. it's visually and audibly impossible, and that is spectacularly intentional.

he is also like... sunshiney in a rough-around-the-edges way, in a this-is-all-i-have way. he's so himself, he's abrasive and almost snide in how he talks. very self-aware, but choosing actively to be brighter about it even though you can tell his situation weighs on him. crutchie is genuinely so dynamic in this show and he's amazing to watch, and he is finally, finally, truly shown as equal to the rest of the newsies, and certainly to jack.

this is so specific but the "we have the right to starve, let's just get our papers" line is so decisive of him. like i'm realizing that that line hasn't given him power before, but it does in this show- he can raise a definitive solution to the group without being jack, and i.. don't think anyone else does this, at all, when they're discussing the strike. it's just crutchie who states what he believes they should do. like. that's never been emphasized before thats so fucking cool for him idk

alright davey time woooooo

davey is the king of defensiveness in this and i genuinely fucking love that choice for him. because he is trying to find a 'way out' within the text but also metaphorically within the story before world will know. so like– this production had davey try and contradict every time someone comments on what davey says. he'll start to say "i didn't say-" "that's not what i-" "i didn't mean-" before cutting back into the script's dialogue again, which is SO fascinating. since initially, davey is trying to separate himself from the newsies, so he uses ad-libs like that to break away, but then after world will know, those same ad-libs are used inversely it felt like, like he'd say something in a way that didn't quite fit and he'd try to rephrase so that it did? very interesting to watch.

he also was very nervous to speak in his first appearance when getting his papers, like he was very nervous about speaking in front of wiesel. this davey had sort of trouble finding words in a timely manner, but what he always has are the right ones, which was a good dynamic for he and jack. he does know what to say, and what he says is intentional, he just isn't great at saying it until act two which is so. cool. even in act 2 at the rally he's still finding his footing, and then when he's at pulitzer's office with jack and spot, he's in his own. he's nearly flippant about his words, since he's found his confidence in them through jack uplifting them the whole show. it almost..... like he and jack kind of have a mentor-y relationship? jack really feels like he does show davey the ropes (despite how biting the "well my father taught us [indicating that jack shouldn't lie so easily in front of les] not to lie" is), and davey learns from jack while jack learns from davey.

speaking of les though wow is mans protective as fuck. his arms are always around this kid, he rests his chin on his head really casually and les is so easy with it too like yeah they're brothers asf. and their moments in king of new york are so precious, and they have the center table together at the start of act two.

speaking of act two! can't talk about davey without discussing wwh reprise :). the way he talks to jack in this scene is so confident that jack's "have they busted up your brains or something" feels like it's more about that- davey hasn't spoken against jack since before world will know, and jack isn't used to the dynamic davey is trying to establish. he's so persistent, and urgent, and like... in it. "won the battle, jackie think about it" like this davey wants to win. at every single turn in this show, davey wants what he believes to win. he will speak against anyone, he will try and change his words' meaning ("that's not what i mean-"), and he will persuade whoever just so that he can win. he feels so competitive and it shines in different ways and everything he says really is so argumentative. maybe he's a little quieter, his voice is shyer, but davey isn't shy, and that's made clear. also ryan kopel hugged me at the stage door and i love him and he's so fucking sweet wowowow

ok katherine and we'RE DONE i promise.

staging made absolutely sure to ground her. she was watching a lot of the scenes she wasn't in, like she appeared during world will know in one of the aisles- felt very much like those moments in 92sies when we'd just see denton around takin notes, which i loved. showed her as a very active journalist. she also like... spoke like an american newscaster?? like she had a News voice lowkey? which was a fun choice.

her scene with jack when she's asking him questions is so serious for her and i love it, it really makes sure that she cares about what she's writing and who she's writing for. jack's "we both got a lot riding on you" takes her downstage as her desk gets set up, and we get to see jack's words weigh on her which is fuckin nice as hell.. like she just felt more grounded than she's been. she still got to be bubbly, but she was more aware of the situation than like... kara lindsay's katherine. she knew the stakes for the newsies i feel like, which is why the name reveal was more intense and the STBI pre-scene was... the best i've seen. she was embarrassed at herself for lying to jack- not telling him everything, and when she defends it she knows it's weak and doesn't try to back it up.. i just appreciate it bc that scene normally feels so superficial despite its context and what they're talking about, but kath and jack really did everything they could to save that scene's writing... they reeeeally fuckin tried LMAO. this katherine was more willing to put herself in the action for sure

her back and forth with jack in jacobi's was so fun, and the defining line of their arc through the show was definitely "this is entertaining...so far." because it's fun to flirt, until it isn't, and someone you care about his ruining his name at the city-wide rally, or revealed to be the daughter of the man sending cops to beat kids into submission. whew. they're really good together.

very quickly: THIS PULITZER IS >>>>>. HE IS SO GOOD. I CANT LIE LMAOOO HE'S SO EVIL I HATE HIM!! and MEDDA WAS SO. that's jack's mom. she also really does serve independence, and i love it so much.

anyway thanks for reading this far guys LMAO i now this is so extensive and i didn't even talk about the ensemble fr... but that's for the second viewing. the direction this production underwent took major precedence, since it's so different and so much more fleshed out.

hope this gave a clear picture on the vibe of the show and the principal characters/relationships!! more to come asf!!!

[c2-eh]

fic writer tag game tagged by @leclercsbf ❤️ tagging @f1-stuff @7msc @effervescentdragon and whoever wants to do this :)

tell me about 1-5 ideas that you’ve not written a single word for yet. notes don’t count.

1. time travel au - pretty self explanatory. it's charlos ofc. 2021 charles suddenly wakes up in the future (5-6 years give or take) and guess what. Carlos is his husband. the fic was brainstormed with amazing @backwardscapcarlos and i promised myself i WILL write it one day as i am so excited by the concept

2. ballet dancer!Charles and writer!Carlos au - i don't have a name for this yet but this was also so thoroughly talked about with kaleigh again, that i also need to write it and y'all i was obsessed (just the execution if i write it will be probably poor but eff it, we roll!)

3. 911 lone star au - mainly charlos, but would feature many other drivers. charles is paramedic, firefighter at first and carlos is a cop. if you watched 911 ls and you know tk and carlos (they even have a same name fr) you can't tell me charlos and them are not the same. i make the rules actually

4. elemental drivers - again, mainly charlos but also norstappen. brainstormed every element for every F1 driver, sorted out the whole storyline with @moossings (just like the 911 one) now it only needs to be written (idk if i will but i truly would want to)

5. landoscar fic - inspired by the start of this video really. i just want to write something soft, but also angsty with a lot of pining and i found sth in that short interaction that scratched my brain. i can't explain it but like imagine Oscar is like a duckling ok (not literally) and Lando is there from the start. boom what happens? we know. And no i will not elaborate

[nintando64]

Well come and well met, my Brave Little Spark

It's been a year to the day since I started my second attempt at playing Final Fantasy XIV (at least it was when I started writing this post). And I've... uhh...

Played it a little bit. And in that span of time, this girl has become such a big part of my life. So I wanted to talk a little bit about that journey and how Sophiane Dailemont became such a big part of my life. More assorted ramblings and screenshots below the cut (Contains Spoilers for the entire game, yee be warned). No tags for this one. This post is for me.

"Become the sort of storied personage I can brag about havin' met, an' I'll consider us square."

One thing I do when I play RPG's is create a character who is kinda like me, but never actually me. I put a little bit of myself into them, then I let the true personality of the character shine through as the game progresses. But I wasn't really doing that this second time around. This was a second attempt after all. I was mainly playing through the story again to refresh myself. So for most of ARR I was just kinda... playing the game.

And I still had a fabulous time. I am a certified ARR Enjoyer after all. While there are... one or two segments I still don't necessarily think belong like corrupted crystals I still think the rest is incredibly enjoyable. I think the introduction to the primals is great, I love the company of heroes section, and the raid on the waking sands is such a great "Welcome to Final Fantasy XIV" moment.

But once I got to the end of ARR, thats when her character started to take shape. And thats exactly when I game I was already sold on sunk its claws into me and would never let go. I decided to work my previous attempt into my headcanon for Sophiane, and have ARR be a shared journey between the two, and my other character (who I may write about in the future)... well, she's dead.

And the journey transformed into a journey of loss. Of moving on. Of figuring out how to build a life that's lived for yourself. And the story of FFXIV is very compliant to that kind of tale. A tale of loss, and of fire and faith.

But its not just a tale about grief and suffering. It's a tale about the bonds we form, about leaning on each other. Its not a tale where things magically get fixed, where we go from bad state to good state. And thats what I came to adore about the 2.X patch quests. Through all the intrigue, the politics, and the loss. It was where the theme of the bonds we share starting to take root. And also help me cement more of Sophiane's job identity.

Throughout ARR I had just kinda juggled jobs to keep things from getting overleveled (I started off on Materia and oh does the Road to 90 buff ever have hands). But having gone through the patch quests as a Paladin, it organically lead me to moving onto Dragoon for Heavensward. And what an amazing choice that was.

If ARR was where Sophiane started to take shape. Heavensward is where she truly came into her own as a character. This wasn't the tale of a brave hero. Of unflappable stoicism. But the journey of a scared and timid girl. Now aimless and afraid after having lost the beacon and guiding star of her life. The cheers and adulation of those around her ringing false in her own ears. Undeserved, unearned.

Which rang true to me. I myself struggle with imposter syndrome, and I guess that's the part of me that ended up being given to her. But what she does with it, the way her story evolves and grows shows just how rich and unique her struggles are. Watching someone learn the strength to stand back up on her own two feet.

It was around this time that I was filled with so much creativity. There was so much here to put to page. I used to write long ago, and this game filled me with the overwhelming urge to pick it back up. There were so many details here, ones that I knew at the time and ones that I would uncover later, that I needed to express. And it filled me with so much joy.

And as I detached myself from Sophiane and let her become herself even more, I got sucked into the game even harder. I began to plan and prepare how I would take on the MSQ. Making sure I got the experience right. Including letting her go where I never could.

A story of inadequacy, of guilt, of feeling lost without a guiding star and mentor. Its no surprise it led us to here. Seeking support, absolution. Wrestling with the darkness inside. Wrestling with the questions of whether or not she was a good person. It was these moments that really let her kindness shine through.

Throughout it all, Sophiane developed a shield of bravado. Physically stronger, but emotionally much weaker, this was the beginning of a destructive spiral. Sure she appeared much more cocky and self assured, but it was all a thin veneer. And I think Shadowbringers was the perfect expansion to field that.

Shadowbringers is many things, it is the single greatest standalone story in the series after all. But it is at its core a story about the connections we make. And I believe its these connections that make our Warriors of Light who they are. I know they made Sophiane who she is.

The care, the admiration, the concern showed by friends one and all. The desire to connect, to know and understand. It's a desire I can definitely relate to. Up until the end of Shadowbringers, I was on the Materia DC. I had decided to create a character there for all the benefits of course, but also as it was a place I could adventure on my own. But after Shadowbringers I... wanted to share this experience, and so I world transfered over to my friend on Gilgamesh. There, I was able to start talking to people, and made new friends. Joined new communities. And finally took the multiplayer part of this massively multiplayer online RPG seriously.

I got over my own sense of worries and anxieties around playing the game and just... played the game. Slowly but surely, of course. While it started as just being able to run DPS roulettes without anxiety, I have since started to work on my tank and healer anxieties, and they're going well! But back to Sophiane.

All the prep work I was putting into Sophiane. All the countless hours of side questing, of narrative creation, of ensuring I approached the MSQ just right, it was all for Endwalker. By now, Sophiane was... mostly okay, but still wrestled with survivors guilt. Dwelling on the loss of her friend, the very fact that I started this obsession with. And what a fitting expansion (I keep saying that), given the overwhelming number of callbacks to ARR.

While i've been writing a lot of information and facts and fleshing out her character, this scene was the first time I felt compelled to write a story with Sophiane. It was nothing more than a slight expansion of the scene, but it was the first time I let Sophiane speak. Endwalker, the expansion of Hear, Feel, Think was the expansion she got to finally express herself. My Sophiane master doc has 15k words and counting (and will never see the light of day).

And while ever since Heavensward I've basically made a tradition of being the trailer job for the expansion, this time, I chose to take on Endwalker as a Paladin for a different reason. It felt... right. After all she'd been through, it felt right to let Sophiane return to the role of valiant protector. Paladin has always felt like Sophiane's ARR class. As an Archer, and a Lancer, she felt... timid, unsure. It wasn't until she felt the security of steel and shield that she started to come into her own as an adventurer. Outside of pursuing the lance further in the Coerthas section, she was a Paladin, but cast it aside after The Parting Glass. So returning to Paladin was a card I was always saving for when the time felt right.

And right it felt. Endwalker soon got to work making me feel rewarded for all my effort, all my preparation. All my investment.

I felt rewarded for becoming so attached to Sophiane.

And Endwalkers themes felt perfect next to my own themes for Sophiane, as if the narrative had been tailor made to be perfect for just me. I wonder how many other people have shared that sensation.

And... everything came to a head at Ultima Thule. Sophiane's journey, my own journey, they were reaching the end. Finally grasping the weight of her presence and the impact she'd had on the lives of those around her, she finally got to stand tall, alone at the end of everything.

I was... consumed as soon as I headed to Ultima Thule. I would not, could not dare stop before I reached the end. And I am ever grateful I did. Ultima Thule is the pinnacle of any gaming experience I have ever had. Because I made it so. Because I role-played.

Which... leads me to the one instance where I broke from tradition, where I didn't use the trailer job for an expansion.

I imagine that smirk already tells anyone who recognises it what comes next, but... My one big criticism of Shadowbringers is Ran'jit. While his place as Thancred's antagonist is was well done and the Thancred solo instance was one of the great solo instances, Ran'jit always felt hollow in opposition to Sophiane. Forced, contrived. As we returned to the source and were confronted by Fandaniel, who revealed that Zenos had a hard-n for a rematch, it clicked.

Zenos was right back in Stormblood. He and Sophiane are birds of a feather, two sides of the same coin. Through all the anxiety, the suffering, the thing that kept Sophiane getting back on her feet was the thrill of battle. And after a healthy dose of Trauma and some good friends, she was finally able to actually think about that and understand that.

And as she did, once she knew that Zenos had become a reaper, Sophiane screamed at me to let her become one as well. She wanted the rematch to be on equal terms. To bring her all to bear against him. And while I loathe edgy classes (the reaper role quests did make me roll my eyes a couple of times) I pushed through it and let her be a reaper.

And oh how WORTH IT it was. The GOAT solo instance. The reward for a long and worthwhile journey.

at 4:38am one May morning, I finished 6.0. And FFXIV cemented itself as my forever game. But, so close to Dawntrail, the grind didn't stop, I had so much preparation to do for my first expansion. The cycle continued once more.

Once Dawntrail arrived, I just... let myself enjoy it. I knew Sophiane extremely well, and I trusted in my own ability to have fun and...

We had an absolute blast together. And a year later, I wouldn't give her up for the world. Happy Birthday Sophiane. I wonder where we'll be in a year.

How long you've wandered, burned bright as a star.

[frankenjoly]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Tagged by @cursedvibes thanks!!! i love these things

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

68 but for Reasons (a fanweek i'm very hyped for), it's gonna be 69 next week.

2. What’s your total ao3 word count?

287,330 (and counting ofc)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

mostly bsd, jjk & a bit of genshin, but i throw in ficlets and/or one-shots of other stuff to let Thoughts out.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Connecting the dots. silly pre-canon fluff and humor won people over after arcane's s1 finale.

Between the pages: part 2. mix of bsd ficlets/drabbles, bcs i love doing small thingies (i'm already finishing part 4 laksdjflk).

Misread. aka jealuc from barbara's pov, aka humor that stemmed from a teensy lil angst.

Remnants. more of me letting thoughts out after arcane's s1 ending, this time timebomb with pining Jinx.

Por el amor de estepresidente... the bsd crack fic (or my first one, at least), in which Mori and Fukuchi sort of ally to crash fukuzawa's date with any 3rd person but are also competing against each other.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

i do, bcs i either have the need to thank ppl or ramble about the fic they're commenting on (or both).

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

probably Remnants, though i intended to go with the "it's not/won't be unrequited" vibe.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

i'm a pussy and a slut for happy/hopeful endings, so i have those by the ton aldkjfl.

8. Do you get hate on fic?

not hate per se, but i've had complaints about tagging all ships from the start in my genshin ficlet compilation... when i was gonna throw them all into ao3 in one sitting.

also that one person who came to one of my Utahime Week fics, who was tagged as both gojohime and shokohime, to tell me "nooo shokohime are just friends yadda yadda" while praising gojohime as canon (i love it too, but it isn't). it was odd.

9. Do you write smut?

i have this thing when it comes to nsfw in general and smut in particular, aka up to certain point it makes me uncomfy but below that idgaf and even go like "nice, my ship having sex"... so.

most i can offer is barely-explicit stuff, and for fic specifically i see "depictions of character bein horny" and "pre- and post-sex" rather than actual smut.

10. Do you write crossovers?

not a lot, but the bsd+jjk thingie that came from rp and also birthed the dnd-ish au got me by the throat.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

as far as i know, nope.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

as far as i know, nope (x2). though i do translate some rp solos to turn them into one-shots adding up stuff as well (i could just post them in spanish, but).

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

i guess rp is like schroedinger's yes here? but when it comes to literal fic... not yet, but i know what and with who.

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

i can't choose, sorry laskdjf.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but probably won’t?

not really a wip, but i had one Uraume-centric fic that i'm not sure if it'll see the light for... some reasons. long story short, it's based on another fic that's a roleswap and has modern socerers (and students) Uraume and Sukuna.

16. What are your writing strengths?

i apparently never run out of insp and will to write, so i can go fast as fuck. and my writing is one of the things i'm most confident about like fr.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

i still feel like english nerf me, at least when it comes to narrating, bcs i cannot be as descriptive or poetic as i am in spanish.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

as someone who's first language isn't english but writes fic in english, you go ppl. and also, native english speakers can be kiiinda entitled lol.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

both for rp and my first fic ever, abc's once upon a time (that was also my first fandom being online).

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

another instance of me sucking at making choices alsdkf, sorry.

no pressure tag: @ildi-dragonheart @bungoustraypups @monday-headache @noirewaves @rhymbic @minluce @bunniezai @neonganymede @fyodorkitkat

[mousemannation]

thank u for the tag @clayvedevs :333

a little get to know me tag game!

1. Do you make your bed?

... no but in my defence i have a loft bed so its very difficult to do

2. Favourite number?

hmm 3, 4 and 7 r my favourite digits. im a big fan of i hashtag complex numbers. grahams number and tree(3) r fun, oh -1/12 is a classic, pi as well... gosh so sorry i am a mathspilled nerd so,,,

3. What's your job?

never had one hashtag disabled

4. If you could go back to school, would you?

i never finished high school and i have thought about trying (for the like fourth time) to get a hsc (high school certificate, there r ways to get an equivalent qualification for mature age students) but idk. im at TAFE for fashion/costume and i dont really need an hsc for that. i have thought about eventually going to uni for maths though, and i would definitely have to take an entrance exam for that since i dont have an hsc. i do qualify for loads of exceptions though so its not all losses (yay disability?)

5. Can you parallel park?

never tried (have driven a total of 8 hours)

6. Do you think aliens are real?

in some form, yeah

7. Can you drive a manual car?

see q5 (no)

8. Guilty pleasure?

hmm... i believe cringe is dead and i also do/interact with surprisingly little.. i guess maybe like blind boxes? i dont get them often but theyre so expensive so i do feel guilty every time i see a kirby one and cant resist.

9. Tattoos?

nay, although now that all my friends are getting them i have been thinking about it. its not like. really on the cards bc i cant make decisions for the life of me but if i could id be so basic and get an ouroboros. and probably a guinea pig.

10. Favourite colour?

sage green, marone

11. Favourite type of music?

i'll listen to most kinds of music but i definitely gravitate to like emo, post hardcore, rock- that sort of thing

12. Do you like puzzles?

like jigsaw puzzles or? i mean i like jigsaws and i also like other kinds of puzzles. always my go to genre of game. riddles and cryptic crosswords and escape rooms my beloved

13. Any phobias?

hmm well ive got social anxiety disorder but other than that i dont think so?

14. Favourite childhood sport?

i deliberately was on every sports team in primary school at least once (except cricket lol) bc i actually did enjoy sports, but the aforementioned anxiety disorder made actually pursuing that difficult. i also did dance, gymnastics, acrobatics and trampolining at some point during childhood. i do miss acro, that was the last extracurricular i did before i got mucho depressed and my life basically stopped circa 2016. the only sport ive ever followed as a fan is tennis!

15. Do you talk to yourself?

yes lol mostly in my head but also out loud sometimes. born to be a yapper fr

16. Tea or coffee?

im a tea truther (earl grey with soy milk !!!!) and also a bubble tea fiend, BUT i will fuck up a mocha (or an iced coffee with enough milk and sugar to cover the bitterness)

17. First thing you wanted to be when growing up?

i was a veritable horse girl from a VERY young age so probably something related to horses?? like a showjumper maybe.

18. What movies do you adore?

love a good (or laughably bad) horror movie. a cure for wellness, orphan, killing of a sacred deer r all movies gave 5 stars. also love a good children's animated movie! unironically a big fan of the secret life of pets movies, ferdinand, that sort of thing. g-force remains the best movie of all time.

i am tagging: @soronya @tennis-kittens @nick-cassidy @shapovalovvs :33

[manchasama]

Not sure how long this is gonna be, my hand really hurts (and my back just kicking in lol thaaaaanks), just wanna get some thoughts out

Been recovering lately, defo feeling better but not there yet.  Been so stressed and busy since, well, November really.  But January and February defo took the cake.  Work was brutal, but I was taking advantage of an opportunity before it vanished.  In a better world, we would have started getting ready back in August when I first started asking (thinking that was late to start planning for the Feb event), but because of politics and all that guff we didn’t even get the go until late Dec/early Jan. 

I am not going to get into the details, but rest assured I was working my batutty off.  Then I got covid lol.  While in another state.  *throws hands up*

So yeah, it was about what I expected, with some minor differences.  Took a full week off work (which sucked bc half those days were supposed to be vacation recovery days, not sick recovery days), worked from home for a week and a half, and finally went back into the office today (tested negative a few times and took a few extra days anyway, it was fine). 

I just have this lingering cough that, guess what!  Gets worse when I talk!  *snickers*  That week off where I just slept a lot, I didn’t have a cough.  Minute I get back to work (remote but phone calls), suddenly I start coughing.  Bah!  So that leaves me pretty tired at the end of the day.  Also my back is acting up because of all the sedentary laying around I’ve been doing, but that will work itself out as I get more active again.  The biggest problem with today is for some reason my hand feels like it’s cramping up constantly, without actually cramping.  owie :(

Anyway, before my hand gives up, I just wanted to get some thoughts out that weren’t just whining.  I have been trying to keep my submas interest up (or any interest, let’s be real it’s hard for me to do anything extra when I’m so work tired) through the months, but leaving an avenue to revive the spark when I have the time and energy to work on it.  Threw on my submas playlist on the way home, and yeah, I’ve definitely forgotten what songs go to what scenes/ideas other than vibes.  Just need to do a few daydreaming sessions to pick some of it back up I think, plus go over my notes and all.

I’ve also been thinking I should just...post the raw ideas to Ao3.  Started thinking it when I saw a post going around about how...historians? I forget what their job/passion was, but people who like to ready histories, understand why people liked the stories they saved, highlights and notes in the margins, the every day small loves that don’t make the big history books, that sort of thing.  How those people were basically writing a love letter to people who save those little snippets, print out fanfics, things like that. 

I think it was another post, might have been the same, that was also encouraging people to use Ao3 as the archive it is.  It doesn’t have to be complete works.  It’s there to archive the words, that’s all. 

So yeah.  As much as I want to and intend to try to write the full stories, I’m thinking of just transferring some of the tumblr posts/ideas, some of the snippets from my notes, into Ao3.  Because I want to share the stories with people, and if I can’t write them in full, at least I can share the heart of the ideas.  I still need to transfer old fics to Ao3 too, unfinished as they are.  And I’m kinda hoping that new eyes and new interactions spark my interest again, get my brain going into story-mode again.

I’ve been trying to do some reblogging on my backlog of tumblr stuff.  I know I could just hit the heart button.  I know I could reblog without comment or tag.  But I really like leaving people comments.  It’s just another thing that takes a bit of energy, that I haven’t had too much of.  But doing a bit at a time is good too!

My pain and energy levels have prevented me from doing much of anything for so long.  I can’t say it will change much.  I spend time with friends, which don’t get me wrong i love, but it eats into my free time, and more importantly my energy.  I have a trip coming up in May, which yeah sounds so far away, but it will be upon me way faster than I expect.  Who knows when I’ll have another flare-up (hand plz im almost done), or if work is going to drain me.  But now that the hardest is behind me, I’m hoping to keep things reasonable and have a chance to be creative again.

I want to start my garden (made a few small moves toward that).  I want to make more bracelets, and maybe sell some (character bracelets!  seriously i love my submas bracelets, i wish i could take pictures that do the colors justice).  I want to hang out with friends.  I want to write.  I want to write.  I want to write my stories and share them so much.  Just need to wrangle my brain together.  Balance them to my energy.  And not let my responsibilities pull my mood down or stress me out too much (guh just thinking about some of them make me so tired buuuuh). 

Okay hand is too ow now.  If you made it this far, feel free to let me know what you think about posting the ideas to Ao3, even if I later post a full story about them.  Or anything really.  Gotta get my brain juices flowing again!

[pretty-little-martyr]

hi I'm sorry if this is. idk awkward but I saw your tags on that post about changing how people talk about getting gynecologic care and you might want to look into vaginismus. It's a condition that causes those muscles to tighten up often very painfully anytime any sort of penetration is attempted. Physical therapy, dilators and muscles relaxers can help but ofc its something that should be discussed with a doctor to make sure you're getting the correct treatment. ALSO! You can request laughing gas for pap smears and other invasive gyno procedures. It is something they do. Usually if you tell them any insertion at all is extremely painful it'll be offered but if not you can ask for it. Some places might be able to do full sedation but I think that'd just depend on the facilities since that would require an anesthesiologist as well

and also vaginismus is like extremely super common (iirc at least 20% of people with vaginas experience it at some point in their lives) the problem is just that nobody talks about it because well. Society. this is not something abnormal or wrong with you in a bad way, it's just a medical condition that you happen to have and need accommodations for. if that helps at all

hey thank you for reaching out fr, it's not weird at all! ive been trying to figure out if it's that or just general "pelvic floor problems" whatever that entails. im getting HRT/gender care from Planned Parenthood these days, and they have told me i would Have to get another exam/smear next year (which i am terrified about tbqh) and they've mentioned they'd give me something or other to help, probably laughing gas like you've said (which ive never actually had).

i did tell that gyno that i'd never put anything in me and that even tampons were horribly painful, and their reaction was to act like i was crazy and lying and that never happens to anybody lmao the woman literally stared at me as if she was waiting for me to say 'haha just kidding' and asked me like 3 times over if i was sure i was a virgin at my big age (21 at the time). even after i was crying and bleeding and having a panic attack they were incredibly apathetic towards me. so! yeah. to be quite honest i'm not interested in dilators or physical therapy--not to knock them, i just want my whole shit removed, so why put in that effort and (probably) gain new trauma from putting things in me, yknow? the mere concept kinda makes me ill. im considering looking into surgery sometime soon-ish. my family might lose their shit about it, but, i dont think they can stop me now that i live by myself, and unless their insurance blocks it, i should be good to go on that.

anyway. id be so down to get fully sedated for it. put me under for like 30 minutes to get all that shit done and i dont have to be present for it or acknowledge it at all thanks. also might help in general, if the muscle tightening is something semi-voluntary/if that even is my issue. ive also considered if i just have a very small hole. i think thats referred to as a neovagina? i dunno.

i really appreciate these asks <3 very kind of you and. somehow i did not really register the potential of asking a different doctor about their thoughts on it i guess ASDFGHJK i just sort of. the initial event was traumatizing enough i still sometimes have nightmares, which is super dope, and remembering it too hard makes me feel very violated, so really i try not to talk about it so much. i was super fucking stoned last night, is probably why i even left those tags jhgvbhnjkm.

tldr thank you for your kindness and i am really hoping my next exam will feature me either Unconscious or Off My Ass On Laughing Gas Or Something. if theres some chance i HAVE to keep my equipment rather than getting surgery i may genuinely look into therapies just for my own convenience but beyond that i just really ... really do not want any items up in there.

[cabeswaterdrowned]

I’m not really in the mood to start watching something new even though I technically have a lot I want to lol, so on a whim because I feel like it I’ve started a TVD rewatch attempt let’s see if I follow through! (I’ve only seen the whole show (like 7.5 seasons I didn’t see all of s8) once but I’ve seen majority of s2-3 eps multiple times and a select handful of s1 4 and 5 eps a couple times each and most s6 eps twice since I did a rewatch of just that season in December (technically I did not finish it but that wasn’t about my follow through I just didn’t have hbomax access for a while and by the time I had it back was focused on other things again) 

so anyway. notes I took rewatching the first couple episodes (my plan rn is to Not lb in the format I sometimes do because I think I’ll exhaust myself/my commitment, instead will try to either write some notes during or takeaways directly after watching the eps when I feel like it and share intermittently) 

Pilot 

-Elena Bonnie and Caroline are all so pretty here such pretty faces and pretty shiny hair all around 

-really enjoy how cynical Elena is even as she’s trying to put on a brave “today I will smile and it will be believeable” face. especially her talking about people’s reactions to hers and Jeremy’s grief and the “the rest of the world has moved on” quote near the end I can (unfortunately) relate to a lot of this so much more than the first time I watched the show :(

-Caroline’s immediate interest in Stefan + “it’s not going to happen” I do lol knowing how this all plays out :) 

-Bonnie’s ‘psychic’ ness so cute but also her predicting happiness… ironic not in a happy way. This being one of the episodes if not the episode where she’s happiest I think… 

-Bonlena moments are very cute in the pilot 

-running up the hill wasted on a boring moment in the pilot is so funny, but I do really like it ending with (in a sense) the first steferine moment 

-so much bad and poorly aged dialogue. obviously. but then glimmers of really good dialogue out of nowhere 

-I do sort of wish Damon’s crow powers had been a consistent thread. I don’t remember it being a thing after early s1? Would have been so funny 

-Vicki was a standout to me rewatching this. Knowing what happens to her is so sad… Matt should have died instead of her and She should have been around for the whole show fr 

-Jenna is an angel 

-the dialogue is worse than I remembered overall but I’m going to say the visuals/effects are better than I remembered? 

-also I actually rewatched the Pll pilot a couple days ago so was struck a bit by the similar structure of some things, they both open with the blonde girl who is killed/missing (only for TVD it’s a random girl we have no attachment to, for Pll it’s obviously Alison who is a Presence. and then it’s much later in the TVD pilot that we see Katherine who is the char with Alison haunting status for chars in s1), the focus on the liars but especially Aria/Elena’s attempts to move on from grief general quotes about moving on from the past, similar structuring to some of the Aria&Mike/Elena&Jeremy scenes. the funeral at the end of the Pll ep v Vicki being taken to the hospital at the end of TVD. There are others 

-it also was very funny to me that they stress the “passion” of SE vs Matt and Elena in the pilot considering that is going to become a tag line for DE

The Night of the Comet 

-Elena and Stefan waking up and both thinking ‘wow it’s so weird how I see color/am not as depressed as usual. and it’s all because I remembered what it’s like to be horny’ is hilarious sorry

-I am mad at that teacher I was mad on Elena’s behalf last episode now I’m mad on Jenna’s! Leave Jenna alone 

-the way Damon put his hand on Elena’s back/shoulders in their first meeting to guide her + general manner towards her like makes me uncomfortable. Which I guess is the intention at this point 

-Jenna looks so good I need her 

-when Elena is telling Jenna about Stefan being on the rebound and her responding that “at least it’s another woman wait until you date a guy with mommy issues or cheating issues or amphetamine issues” find this hilarious because Stefan DOES in fact have mommy issues as we will learn, and the show treats his blood issues as metaphorical addiction issues. cheating issues no but his whole transference deal with Katherine-Elena is maybe not so different you could make the argument? like it’s not that but there’s emotional dishonesty in a way. 

-also I just enjoy Elena and Jenna so much as a duo.

-I really like Bonnie’s outfit passing out Night of the Comet fliers with Elena 

-Bonnie touching Stefan and getting bad vibes if such a mood 

-there’s quite a bit of language iin these two episodes that’s aged badly but Caroline’s “druggies are the biggest attention whores” (paraphrased) line about Vicki particularly egregious 

-Gravity playing in the SE kiss is so funny because I first watched this pre Community so now I have the Paradigms association. lol

-but also Stefan’s “it was epic” line my brain made an association to Leronica “I thought our story was epic” and SE could Never be what Logan x Veronica is smh so I was a little offended 

*Also watched Friday Night Bites but actually watched most of that while working out and didn’t take notes. And I have reflections but, not that there isn’t plenty to be said about this episode but I’ll take a pass rn* 

[lessthanpog]

no fr!! me and my mutual (who was the other person that they direct reblogged from) lost our MIIIINDS abt how funny their post and tags were like... huh?? they got so mad they had to make someone up to be mad at, i guess, because my mutual Also has chronic migraines and mentions it in their tags??

i do think the idea of their post is sort of true, but the way they went about it was very unhelpful. trying to scaremonger people into not taking ibuprofen is just... i dont even know what the goal is, really? and calling it a "lighthearted little poll" and implying your response was "shit" is also sooo ??????

thank you so much for your response, because it was really measured and helpful. i am bad at critically thinking sometimes when i dont already Know something sounds fishy or that i should be looking out for misinfo, so the way they wrote like such an authority on the topic probably couldve tricked me if it weren't for you coming in and disputing it. the internet needs more people like you fr <3

your addition to the post about pain being bad for you is really good but the op turned off reblogs. is there any way you could post it separately? youre correct i think people are just getting mad ur disputing them

okay I had no idea about this because I don't follow the poll OP and the other person I complained about blocked me but I did go on their blog to check the response and this post they made about me is soso fucking funny because none of what they're saying about me is true at all. I have above-average level of medical literacy because I am a huge nerd and actively in the process of applying for a biomedical science degree. I know exactly what the interaction between SSRIs and NSAIDs is, and I know why it's dangerous, I just also happen to know that humans are complicated and messy and 'this thing has a high potential to be bad' does not always mean 'never do this thing' on a medical level. tons of medical advice is contradictory and seemingly stupid on the face of it until you dive a tiny bit deeper and learn more about it.

I also don't "throw my identity behind having a hard to define chronic illness", I have really severe chronic migraines that I've been seeing doctors about since I was literally an infant lol. this whole spiel is awful cruelty that would be awful applied to anyone but about me specifically becomes frankly hysterical tbqh.

amazed it came to all this tbh I think I was pretty fucking nice in my responses lol.

anyway their response to my reblog specifically was incredible because their claim that 'it clearly wasn't about that' (kind of true) completely ignores the fact that all the research (at least that I could find) on the interaction between NSAIDs and SSRIs is specifically about people being prescribed both drugs concomitantly, something that pretty much only happens in people with chronic pain or like, people who currently have an inflammatory illness or a recent injury or whatever. not people who take ibuprofen in the morning sometimes.

i literally do agree with them that a lot of people should be making lifestyle changes and taking better care of themselves, I just don't think that being wildly vitriolic is going to do anything useful to make that happen lmao.