#i guess?? idk it's fun to draw though :o)

[starsnores]

an unhappy beauty queen and a girl scout with a heart condition

[xpao-bearx]

"Like A Virgin"

Steven Grant x Fem!Reader/Jake Lockley x Fem!Reader/Marc Spector x Fem!Reader

Read Part 1 HERE

Read Part 2 HERE

Read Part 3 HERE

NOTES: I literally put my whole heart and pussy into the previous part and it's just so THRILLING to see all the immense love and support!! 🥺❤️❤️❤️

I'm reeeally hoping y'all will like this part, too! Steven has an extremely special place in my heart, but this time we're shifting focus and giving our lovably murderous Moon Boy JAKE his time to shine!! \(^o^)/

Now as we all know, Jake unfortunately hasn't had a lot of screen time yet. I also watched Moon Knight for the third time and besides his confirmed appearance in the post-credits, there are some other more subtle scenes that I'm PRETTY sure Jake was in and it was a lot of fun for me to think so and obsess over!

But I digress! Anywhore, as I was saying, since Jake hasn't been on a lot the way I write him is PURELY made up. Of course, I try my best to capture the vibes I personally get from him, but until Season 2 drops (because I am NOT giving up on that) we don't know for certain what his personality's actually like (and I haven't read the comics please don't shoot me). It was a little challenging, but I really enjoyed getting to explore Jake and his perspective quite a bit! Though he ended up being a bit sadder than I intended CUZ THIS BOI JUST NEEDS AND DESERVES A WHOLE LOTTA LOVIN'❣️

Furthermore, I am not a Spanish speaker. Jake obviously is and I wanna stay as true as possible to the character by having him speak some (*cough* S E X Y *cough*) Spanish throughout, but if I made any mistakes at all then please kindly correct me as I mainly just use Google Translate and/or search up Spanish terms! For example, I was made aware that "ese" means "that" in Spanish. However, it's also Spanish slang for "dude", "man", etc. and I just find it fitting for Jake to call the boys that 😅

Also, Jake is...rough 😳 Don't worry, he loves and cares about you a LOT, but this is a fair WARNING in case you're not into that! And this part got pretty long, IDK I probs blacked out somewhere in the middle and this is le horny result~

Additionally, do y'all think the relationship between reader x Steven/the boys is going too fast? I really try to make it as natural as possible, but hey this is only fiction after all and I think Steven, for one, falls in love FAST since in the show he was already simping for Layla the first time they met 😂 But I can't judge Steven cuz I'd be the same if I ever met Oscar Isaac I mean, I'm already simping now but YOU GET IT

And a lil funny coincidoink, Like A Virgin came on the radio which I guess was your guys' universal push for me to continue this ASAP!

I truly am sorry for the wait!! Life is hard but I simp harder xD

TAGS: @autismsupermusicalassassin @ungracefularchimedes @pimosworld @ababynova @sweatyroadcowboyjudge @anapnovo-blog @am-3-thyst @harrys-tittie @zukoisbabee @wiltedwonderland @the-ginger-draws @bitchyglitterfox @readingfan @spidey-3 @minigirl87 @wandasupremacy @simba-will-live-on @wavychelle @thepowerthismanhasoverme @blackholegladiator @kittytiddywinks @literalfkinsimp @valen-yamyam16 @shaunalouie @howellatme @aleat0ri0 @bean-is-reading @indigxjunipxr

Part 4: Gonna give you all my love, boy

Your chest rose and fell with each soft, blissful snore. Your face void of any burden, open and peaceful; plump lips parted slightly, looking so kissable. And that's exactly what Steven did, lonely lips descending to meet yours--his slumbering goddess.

An insatiable part of him longed for you to awaken, to spend more time fumbling around in the sheets until sunrise. But he knew, more than anyone else, that sleep was important. And he had no doubt that after all the...unique events that progressed your relationship, you deserved all the rest you can get.

Like the proper gentleman he was, he had cleaned you up before snuggling in bed together until dreams inevitably consumed you. And now here you were, using one of his arms that he can't feel anymore as your pillow and your bodies exchanging heat.

Then his mouth lowered, down your chin, to your throat, and to the delicate dip between your neck and shoulder. Planting butterfly kisses on your skin, lips tracing and eyes memorizing every perfect imperfection that dotted your body like constellations.

He noticed your breathing slowly growing uneven, your nipples salaciously peaking through your tank top. He knew he had to stop. He had to, but...

He lifted his free hand, inching towards your breasts before freezing, clenching into a tight fist that had his nails digging into his palm.

His cheeks bloomed red, pulling away and laying on his back as he stared up blankly at the ceiling. What the fuck was he doing?

"Jake, mate... I know you're there, might as well say something, yeah?" Steven whispered.

'Your senses are improving, ese.' Jake snickered. 'Is that why you stopped? No need to be shy, it's just the same as watching porn.'

Steven turned redder, clearing his throat. "Jake, you know you can meet Y/N too, right?"

Silence greeted him. Steven waited patiently, giving his alter all the time he needed. As rough around the edges as they may be, the boys all cared about each other and Steven knew that all Jake needed--deserved--was time. Hell, he and Marc didn't even know Jake existed for a while until he finally felt comfortable enough to reveal himself.

'Nah, ese.' Jake snorted, though his voice held a certain heaviness to it. 'She's all yours. You deserve her, Steven.'

"You're a part of me, Jake. You deserve her, too."

'Don't think your little cariño would appreciate it so much that you're wanting to hand her off to some other asshole.' Jake scoffed.

"I'm not 'handing her off', you git. I wanna...share." Steven mumbled the latter, gulping thickly.

'Steven...' Jake sighed, but Steven sensed intrigue in his tone. 'I don't know what the fuck you expect from this talk, ese. We only share the same body, that's it.'

"You're lying and you know it. Two months working with Y/N, I never said anything, but I knew you were always there. This damn body isn't the only thing we share, 'cause I know your feelings are just the same as mine."

It was then that you mewled softly, shifting and wrapping an arm around Steven's waist and cuddling close to his side with a content little smile on your lips as you slept.

Steven melted and he felt Jake do so, too.

"I'm not giving you an out, mate." Steven chuckled, pressing a tender kiss to the top of your head. "I'm absolutely buggered and so are you."

♡•••🌙•••♡

Steven, that absolute fucking puta.

As soon as Jake opened his eyes, dread filled him. Slowly turning his head and seeing your back to him, he knew Steven gave up control at some point and forced Jake to come out from the shadows.

He's tried multiple times to drag that pendejo back out, but Steven has obviously put up a block between them. Jake sighed frustratedly, his gaze lingering on you once more.

His heart ached. And fuck it hurts.

He wasn't Steven.

He did not deserve you.

He was dirty--rotten. He was only good for causing pain; even the ways in which he protected the boys were brutal, inhumane.

And he loved the chaos. Thrived in it.

When Steven met you for the first time, two months ago, that was what Jake intended to cause as well. Pain. Heartbreak.

Nothing more than another pretty notch to add to his belt.

But you...surprised him. You actually cared about Steven, gave him basic human respect and the time of day when no one else did and just fucking listened. Accepted him with open arms and such a kind, blinding smile. And pretty soon, Jake yearned for that, too. From you. Just you.

You didn't even know he existed--you didn't fucking care about him--and yet you smashed his glass heart into a thousand pieces, leaving him to find the sharpest shard and continuously stab himself as punishment.

That's what he deserved. Not you.

But oh... You looked so cold. Why were you so far away? What the hell were you thinking, pulling away from him?

Like a lion stalking its prey, Jake crawled towards you until he was on top of you. His dark eyes trailed down your sleeping form, so beautiful, so vulnerable. He didn't realize his hand was shaking slightly as it reached up to caress your face, breath hitching as his thumb glided across your bottom lip before slowly slipping it inside your mouth.

He watched, completely entranced, as your saliva coated his thumb and the way in which you squirmed so that you were now laying on your back, facing him. You were still asleep, though your brows creased together and your breathing grew shallow.

What were you dreaming about, Jake wondered? Were you dreaming about last night? Steven didn't feel him then, but Jake was there and it was the best torture he's ever endured.

He can make you feel good--better. And if there was any room in your heart (and legs) for him, he'd more than happily prove it to you.

But you were so kind, so sweet... Surely you'd accept him, too, right?

Surely you'd relieve him of his huge fucking hard-on, right?

He found himself lowering, lowering, lowering--then stopped just as his lips were about to meet yours.

No...

You didn't deserve this. You didn't deserve him.

As if he was just burnt, he sprang away from you and sat at the foot of the bed, keeping as much distance as possible. His head hung low, hands scrubbing his face in frustration before turning into self-loathing slaps.

He quickly got a hold of himself, lest you have a cruel awakening to him. Not Steven.

He looked over his shoulder. You really did look cold. He unchained the ankle restraint then stood up, walking over to your side and tucking the blanket over your unfairly scantily clad body.

God... How he wished he was the one keeping you warm.

He then shook his head, glancing towards the wall clock. 5:40 a.m.

He can sneak out and do some business for Khonshu. And by the time he returns, hopefully Steven does, too.

He has to.

♡•••🌙•••♡

You rolled over in bed, expecting to cuddle up next to something much more solid than a pillow. Your brows furrowed, a hand flying out to pat the bed and not finding what--who--it was seeking.

Your eyes snapped open and you bolted upright. You looked around in a frenzy, eyes still bleary with sleep and finding the apartment completely empty.

You then noticed the time on the wall clock. 7:20 a.m.

You were off work today, but you weren't sure if Steven had a shift. But even if he did, it was still too early for the museum to open.

So...

Where the hell was Steven?

He couldn't have ditched you...could he? No, that wasn't possible, this was his flat.

But wait... What if this was his subtle way of telling you to get lost? That he didn't want to see you still here when he comes back from wherever the fuck he went to?

You overstayed your welcome, didn't you? This was what it was about, isn't it? This was all your fault, right?

You were on the verge of hyperventilating when, at the corner of your eye, you spotted a bright yellow sticky note on top of the books on the bedside table. You quickly ripped it off, reading the messy, rushed handwriting.

Don't know when I'll be back. Just relax. Food for you is in the kitchen, amor.

You blinked away tears you didn't realize were forming once, twice, then bursted into laughter.

"Fuck, seriously, what is wrong with me?" You berated yourself, still laughing.

This was Steven. Of course he would never abandon you, and you would never abandon him.

He proved it to you, after all. The memories of last night terrorizing your brain once more, making you blush like a virgin (which you were--for now).

You wanted to prove yourself to him, too. And you're sure you'll think of something, but at the moment you became distracted as your eyes landed on Steven's black sweatshirt sprawled carelessly across the floor.

You put on your glasses then hopped off of the bed and picked up the sweatshirt, tugging it on and letting out a giggle as it drooped over your thighs, turning the sleeves into little hand mittens and your body and heart just feeling so warm.

You ambled over to the kitchen, seeing a plate of slightly burnt toast and scrambled eggs clumsily covered in plastic wrap on the small dining table. You chuckled softly, taking the plastic off before sitting down and having breakfast.

As you chewed, once again your brain couldn't help but wander off.

It was only a little thing. Such a stupid thing, really. But still, it just would not stop nagging you.

Amor. It was French for 'love'.

But... Steven didn't spell it with a U. It was supposed to be amour.

Amor, no U, was the Spanish spelling. And Steven, who seemed fluent in French, should know that.

But people make mistakes, and who were you to judge such a minuscule, silly mistake?

Before you could entertain yourself by ruminating over such nonsense some more, your ears perked up when you heard the lock click and the door opening and shutting close. You kept quiet, watching as Steven slowly trudged in.

He was wearing a flat cap and a trench coat, and from your spot in the kitchen he hasn't noticed you yet. But he looked...different.

You couldn't quite explain it, but he seemed...tense. On edge. An air of agitation surrounding him, stiff in his movements yet carrying a sense of confidence at the same time.

Wild.

You then swallowed, standing up from your chair and silently making your way over to Steven with his back turned to you as he busied himself with stripping off his coat and hanging it on the coat rack.

You wrapped your arms around his waist, feeling him jolt. But before he could react, you spoke up.

"I missed you..." You murmured, embracing him more tightly as you pressed your cheek to his back. "Don't do that again, please. At least wake me up if you're leaving."

Steven didn't say anything, completely rigid and gloved hands balled into tight fists.

Then it clicked.

"You're not Steven...are you?"

His shoulders jerked, and you pulled your face away to look up at him. But you never removed your arms, keeping them in place around his waist.

Then his shoulders drooped, hearing him take a sharp intake of breath before ever so slowly turning his head over his shoulder.

"Caught red-handed." His lips curled up into a smirk, dark eyes gleaming down at you. "You're much more observant than I thought, princesa."

Your breath hitched, mouth agape and eyes blown wide as you gawked at him. You didn't know what to feel. Well, there was definitely excitement, but you weren't sure if it was appropriate for you to feel such a way.

Regardless, you were glad Steven was open and honest with you from the get-go. You knew, at some point, it was inevitable that you'd meet the two other men he's mentioned. So, you weren't too taken aback to be experiencing this right now.

"Judging from your accent and what you called me just now... You must be Jake?" You queried, cocking your head to the side as you stared up at him. Funny, he shared the exact same body as Steven, but he was still...different. The way he held himself, the little quirk to his lips, the look in his eyes--it was all very distinct.

"Don't see why you gotta keep asking me questions, princesa. Seems like ya got it all figured out." Jake scoffed, amusement in his tone.

"Well... You certainly made an...impression when you asked me out." You spoke slowly, carefully, as if not daring to spook some wild animal. You wanted Jake to feel safe, welcomed; because it felt like Jake hasn't at all expected to be here right now, but you wanted to let him know that you didn't mind him. You were happy to be meeting him.

But Jake took it the wrong way. He read your body language as aloof, like you were just trying to be polite. And why wouldn't you be? You were naturally kind, but he knew better.

He was absolutely not supposed to be here. He was never supposed to meet you, never planned to. After all, you preferred Steven.

...Didn't you?

His jaw ticked, his hands untangling your arms around his waist before he spun on his heel to fully face you. You gasped as he did, paling at the sight of blood on his shirt.

"What happened?!" You panicked, your hands immediately touching his body, eyes frantically searching for any injuries. "Did someone hurt you?! Oh my god, who did this to you?!"

"It's not my blood."

You froze, a chill coursing through your veins. Slowly, your head tilted up, meeting his gaze. It was much darker than before, flecks of savagery brewing within. And yet, you also saw...loneliness.

Longing.

"Are you scared, Y/N?"

You held your breath, his voice cracking as he uttered your name for the first time. It was a simple question that had a painfully simple answer.

"I am."

Jake shut his eyes, inhaling deeply and letting it out in a wavering breath.

He fucking knew it.

"Jake..." His eyes snapped open at your voice, so soft, so unexpectedly calm. "Will you...hurt me?"

"I would never." He whispered--promised--holding your gaze sincerely. "I couldn't."

"I'm scared of the...things you can do, Jake." You admitted, noticing his Adam's apple bob as he gulped. His gaze fell to the floor, but you reached up, gently cupping the side of his face. "But...I'm not scared of you."

Jake met your eyes once more, his hardened expression softening as he sighed, nuzzling into your comforting hand. For the first time in a long time, he felt...safe. He was not one of Khonshu's pawns, he was not Steven or Marc's ruthless protector, he was simply...

Jake Lockley.

"I'm sorry..." He murmured, trembling hand reaching out and caressing your cheek; tenderly, fondly, lovingly. "I...was never supposed to meet you. I was fine watching you quietly. But last night, Steven said he wanted us to meet. For me to be a...part of what you have with him."

A deafening silence rang in your ears. Jake watched you with those intense, soulful eyes, brows furrowed and jaw clenched as he waited with bated breath for your reaction. Any reaction.

"Jake..." You have no idea how you even managed to speak, your volatile heartbeat replacing the silence. "Take a shower first, we'll talk after."

♡•••🌙•••♡

Water dripped from Jake's hair, his hands pressed against the wall with his head tilted down as he watched the pristine white tiles of the shower's floor stain red.

This was an all too familiar situation for him. Washing off blood that didn't belong to him, his body getting cleaned though never his damned soul. But it never bothered him before...until now.

He knew there was a chance you'd be awake when he returned, but he figured that he can just pretend to be Steven at least until that idiot takes control of the body again. Jake's done it convincingly enough a few times before back when Steven and Marc were still unaware of his existence, acting as one of them whenever something triggered them and he suddenly had to front.

But when you hugged him, he just...froze. It felt as if he was struck by lightning because this was real--you were real. Your heart-wrenching kindness and beauty were all directed towards him, and he was no longer just a pathetic fly on the wall through Steven's eyes.

But how could he be so fucking dumb? He never should've shown himself, he should've stayed away from the apartment even if it took all day and just let Steven deal with the consequences. And yet...he came back.

Because, the absolute truth is, he wanted to meet you. At his very core, he was a selfish bastard who wanted to be with you, no matter the punishment inflicted on him--he inflicts on himself.

But was he really being selfish?

As drastically different as they were, Steven and Marc managed to control their own separate lives. Steven had his job that he despised, but also the comfort of regularly getting a paycheck that provided for his daily needs. Marc was Khonshu's (main) Avatar and as draining as it was, he could still unwind after a long day with a pack of beer and a Chicago Cubs game playing on TV.

And then, of course, there were Moon Knight and Mr. Knight that ultimately tied them together.

But what about Jake? Was he nothing more than a punching bag for Marc and Steven, only seizing command and handling whatever shitshow they got themselves into that they were too weak to finish?

Jake knew that was his job--his purpose. And honestly, it was okay. He cared about the boys, and keeping them safe meant the same for him as well.

...Until you came along. And for the first fucking time, he actually wanted something. Yearned for someone. Just for himself, and not because of anyone else's expectations or demands of him.

He didn't realize it until you came crashing into Steven's--and his--life like some fucking meteorite, but he was empty. And on the extremely rare occasions that Jake was entitled to the body all for himself, he grew tired of being tired from aimlessly hopping bar to bar. Nearly wiping all his fucking memories out with heavy drinks and the need--the desperation--to forget about the problems he deliberately ignores, hides, even for one single measly night through fucking some random stranger he didn't and won't ever care about.

But you weren't a stranger, that was perfectly clear. Days bled into weeks, and weeks into months; and here you were now, looking all cute--tempting--wearing Steven's sweatshirt, eating breakfast in his home, as his girlfriend.

Steven's girlfriend. Not Jake's girlfriend.

"Jake, you know you can meet Y/N too, right?"

Steven's words from last night echoed in Jake's head, taunting him. And the ridiculous proposition that followed afterwards, of the two of them sharing you.

"You're a part of me, Jake. You deserve her, too."

And maybe, just maybe...Steven's right.

Maybe Jake did deserve you.

But did you deserve him?

"What's got you looking all emo?" Jake's head abruptly whipped around, seeing you with one hand holding the shower curtain open while the other clutched onto a towel covering your body.

Your naked body.

Jake's mouth went dry, completely paralyzed. All he could do was let his eyes scan you from head to toe, undressing you in his mind. He's already seen you last night and he thought he'd be fine just basking you in from Steven's point of view, but oh...he thought dead wrong.

Because now he really wanted to touch you. Feel you. Make you come undone, all because of him. All for him.

"What the hell are you doing here?" His question came out sharper than he intended it to, eyes narrowing as he watched your gaze drop, shifting on your feet uncertainly along with the tantalizing way you bit your lip.

You seemed to be engaging in a silent war with yourself before you shook your head, straightening up as you dared to meet his eyes and slowly dropped the towel to the floor.

"I told Steven this before, but I prefer to get things over with." You smiled a bit sheepishly, stepping into the shower; the warm drizzle of water helped to thaw the ice cold sensation anxiety gripped you with. "I'm a very impatient woman, Mr. Lockley."

"And you think jumping into the shower completely naked with a man you barely know is the answer to your impatience, señorita?" Jake arched a brow, an amused smirk playing on his lips.

"Well, it's not like I can get into the shower with clothes on, right? That's just fucking stupid." You scoffed, playfully rolling your eyes. "Besides... It's because I want to get to know you that I'm here."

"This is a dangerous game you're playing, princesa." Jake murmured, his smirk instantly vanishing; that furrowed brows, clenched jaw sternness once more overtaking his striking features as he regarded you. "I'm not your sweet, sensitive little boyfriend. I'm not Steven." He practically hissed out the name, though there was more sadness to it than venom.

"This isn't a game to me, Jake." You stated firmly, standing your ground as you held your chin high and levelled your gaze with his. "None of this is. I take Steven very seriously--I take our relationship very seriously." You paused, taking a deep, shaky breath. "And I know, maybe I'm moving too fast, and I totally understand your doubts about this--about me. But I'm not a fucking dumbass. I know you're not Steven and I like you, anyway."

Jake was rarely speechless, but even as his mouth parted to say something--anything--nothing came out. He felt something fall down his cheek, and he wasn't too sure if it was water or the strange liquid that suddenly made his vision all blurry.

But he didn't have much time to ponder on it when your hand gently pressed against his cheek, your eyes kind and full of adoration, the same adoration you always bless Steven with and something Jake believed was only a far-off miracle for him.

"Y/N..." He choked out, glossy dark eyes intently set on you. "I'm a monster."

"You're not a monster, Jake." You were quick to counter, taking a step closer, now being chest to chest with Jake. "You're a part of Steven, and anything--anyone--that's a part of him is beautiful. And you sure as hell deserve to live your own life, too. And, well, if you'll have me..." You blushed, looking down. "...I would really, really like to get to know you better, Jake Lockley."

Silence smothered you, wrapping its invisible claws around your neck, and you now fully understood what people meant when they say something takes forever. You thought it would be easier and much less frightening if the ground actually opened up and swallowed you whole, but Jake finally put you out of your misery, his hand turning off the shower and a low chuckle bubbling out of him.

"Well... Damn." He smirked, cocking his head down at you, though his smug demeanour couldn't mask the rosiness that dusted his cheeks. "You really do like me and Steven, huh, querida? Or maybe it's just your boobs up against me that's convincing me."

"Well, if it's helping you to believe me, then I'm not complaining." You giggled, wrapping your arms around his neck, pushing your breasts against him. Both of your breaths stuttered at the close, intimate contact, and you whimpered as his hands landed on your hips, callused fingers squeezing your soft flesh.

"Dios mío..." He growled lowly, his hands slowly, reverently travelling up the curves of your body, leaving a burning wake, before dipping once more and giving your ass a hard smack.

"Ah..!" You gasped, lurching forward, your face bumping against his solid chest. You felt his chest vibrate as a deep laugh rumbled out of him, one hand fisting your hair and pulling your head back.

"I ain't lying when I said I'm not your sweet, sensitive boyfriend." There was mania in his eyes, baring shiny white teeth as he grinned widely at you; like a shark who's smelled blood--your blood--from a mile away, he's set his target and can't be satisfied by anything, anyone else. "Then again, if you could see Steven's thoughts like I can, 'sweet and sensitive' aren't completely accurate for him."

You gulped, but not from fear. You squeezed your thighs together, pupils dilating as you stared up at Jake. "I-I don't mind if you or Steven aren't sweet and sensitive. I wanna be treated nice, but there are plenty of ways 'nice' can be translated to..." You placed a hand on his abs, lips parting as you traced along his taut muscles, looking like some fucking Greek sculpture--a god--with the way his wet body shimmered a divine bronze. "Don't you think so...Papi?"

With no warning, you felt the air get knocked out of you as his lips collided with yours, attacking you; tongues intertwining with a clash of teeth, the moist smack of your lips harmonizing with the vulgar moans Jake drew out of you.

You felt Jake's neediness, the desperation underlying his roughness--as if this was not just the first, but the only time he'd get to kiss you and have you for himself.

As if you'd ever allow for this to be the only time.

Your hands fell to his shoulders, nails breaking his skin and marking him with crescent indents. He groaned as you did, kissing you with even more fervour, fiery passion never ceasing as you both chased after that hellish ecstasy; seizing, bruising, suffocating you.

More, more, more. Giving and taking, taking, taking.

You just could never have enough, clueless as to where you started and Jake ended, Jake's tongue practically down your throat now. You know you needed air, your eyes rolling to the back of your head, but your body refused.

If this was how you died, then you'd die an elated woman.

But Jake suddenly pulled away from you, making you whine loudly. Your hands pawed at his chest, tears springing to your eyes and your ears couldn't even register the pitiful pleas that tumbled out of your mouth for more, more, more.

"You're such a fucking slut, aren't you, mi amor?" Jake snickered, one hand wrapping around your neck, thumb stroking the column of your throat, squeezing just enough to feel as if your head was floating. "Steven always saw you as this pure, innocent angel. But you're not, aren't you? You wanna be corrupted, don't you? You wanna be my pretty little devil, slut?"

"I'll be anything for you, Papi." You replied breathlessly, tears staining your scarlet cheeks. "Just be my everything."

"I'll be whatever--do whatever--for you, mi vida." His voice was low, barely above a whisper, but you heard him loud and clear, his earnesty and sweetness cloying. His other hand caressed your face before he leaned down, his tongue licking away your salty tears, a reprieve from the rapturous flames that engulfed him. "Now... What do you want Papi to do?" He purred, smirking wolfishly down at you. "You want me to fuck you? Spread your little virgin pussy, fill you up with my cock? Wanna see how much you can take, cariño. Take all my cum, don't waste a single fucking drop."

As tempting as his filthy words were, as much as you wanted to, you remembered how Steven refused to have sex with you last night. Of his promise that he'll make love to you another time, when he was better prepared with condoms. And fuck, you wanted him--them--so badly. Steven and Jake. But you respected Steven and his decision, and you did also want for your lovemaking to be special.

"Can I taste your cock, Papi?" You asked, biting your lip as you met Jake's gaze shyly. You felt like a mouse and he was the lion, yet you held the power in whatever was going to happen. "I-I promise I'll take it all... Take all your cum, like a good girl."

Jake knew that you chose not to have sex with him out of respect for Steven, and that only made him love you more. He felt a pang in his heart and a smile tugged up the corners of his lips, eyes locking with yours, full of tenderness and affection.

Right then and there, he knew that you were "the one". For him and Steven.

"Get on your knees like a good fucking girl, then." He breathed, and you didn't hesitate as you instantly dropped to your knees, breasts jiggling slightly as you did. Your eyes widened as his cock stood proudly, mere inches away from your face.

"I...I'm sorry if I'm...bad." Your voice came out as a squeak, mentally slapping yourself before clearing your throat. "I-I've never done this before!"

"You better have not or else I'll hunt down and kill all the fuckers you've ever been with." He barked out a laugh, but his eyes were dark and serious.

Murder was not something Jake Lockley ever joked about, after all.

Strangely enough, you found his possessiveness...sexy. Which only meant that Jake was already corrupting you.

But was that really such a bad thing?

You shook your head, focusing on the cock--erm, task--at hand. Your hand wrapped around his shaft, hearing Jake breathe sharply through his nose as you did. You licked your lips as you watched the pre-cum drip out of the tip, so curious, so transfixed like a moth to a flame.

Your tongue then darted out, experimentally licking the milky fluid. Jake threw his head back with a guttural groan; you've barely even started, and it made you fucking giddy that he reacted like this.

"Jake..." You murmured, giggling softly. You peered up at him through your long lashes, flashing him a dazzling smile. "You're so beautiful, Jake."

"That ain't something you should call a man, mi vida." Jake scoffed, but the crimson tint on his cheeks have spread like wildfire to the tips of his ears and neck. "Especially not when you're the beautiful one."

"Going soft on me now, Jakey?" You teased lightheartedly, slowly beginning to stroke his length.

Jake's breath hitched, brows furrowing as he watched you intently, attentively. "You really are a little devil, Y/N." He chuckled deeply, and you knew that meant trouble. "You think I'm going soft? Looks like you really have a lot you need to know about me."

Like before, his hand fisted your hair, pulling your head back and making you look up at him. "Open up, slut." And you did, opening your mouth and sticking your tongue out. You flinched slightly as his cock hit your tongue, his other hand grabbing his member and moving it around on your tongue, painting it white.

"Now you're gonna be a good cocksucker, got it?" He grinned down devilishly at you, eyes twinkling with sheer, wicked glee. "You're gonna make Papi cum, like the good whore that you are."

You nodded hastily, eagerly. And you just couldn't fucking take it anymore, jostling forward and burying his cock in your wet, hot mouth.

"That's. Fucking. It." Jake hissed, his grip on your hair tightening ever so slightly. Slowly, you began to bob your head, your mouth accommodating his size. You briefly wondered how anyone could ever even compare this to a banana or a popsicle stick; it was much bigger and your jaw started to hurt, which Jake quickly noticed as you tensed.

"Hey, relax." He cooed, reaching down to tenderly wipe away the tears you didn't realize were flowing down your cheeks. "Easy, Y/N. Relax your mouth, loosen up your throat... Fuck, yeah, that's it. Keep going, hermosa."

With newfound confidence and assurance, you gradually increased your pace. You hollowed your cheeks, your tongue sliding along the underside of his cock with each rhythmic bop of your head. Up, down, up, down--Jake's sinful groans bouncing off the walls of the bathroom, never breaking eye contact as you burned all of him into memory.

Then your surprised gasp was muffled as his foot pressed against your clit, only offering you a cocky smirk in return.

He began to move his foot, his toes budging your clit and stroking along your pussy. You moaned around his cock, grinding against his foot for more friction. Then his other hand grabbed onto your hair, both of his hands now pushing and pulling your head up, down, up, down--drool spilling down the sides of your mouth, resisting the urge to gag as the tip of Jake's cock pounded your throat, your hands floundering to his thighs as you clung on for dear life.

"Fuck, look at you... Una putita tan bonita solo para mí." He laughed, the thrusts of his hips growing fiercer, more rabid as he mercilessly fucked your throat. "Wanna taste me, mi vida? Think you've earned it?"

All you could do was nod, nod, nod--looking up at him pleadingly as you continued to desperately grind yourself against his foot, your own orgasm fast approaching.

Jake's jeering laughter soon stuttered into a heavy, gasping moan; his eyes squeezing shut as his head fell back, hitting the wall. You felt his cock twitch, releasing his seed, shooting down your throat and his balls slamming against your chin.

Your own release coated Jake's foot, your entire body shuddering from the intensity of it all and coughing as Jake finally withdrew his cock out of your mouth. But you didn't have time to revel in the afterglow as Jake's hand wrapped around your neck once more, dragging you up and crashing his lips with yours. You swapped spit and cum, but neither of you cared; the two of you groping, squeezing, clinging onto each other any which way your needy hands could fumble.

You didn't keep track anymore of who pulled away first, laughter ringing in your ears as you both grinned at each other; spent, happy.

The dawn of something new, exciting, promising shining between the two of you.

Wordlessly, Jake turned on the shower again. Then he grabbed the soap, his hands gliding along your smooth skin, his lips attaching to the crook of your neck where he could see the faint pinpricks of his handprint slowly materializing.

"Did I hurt you, mi vida?" As rough of a lover as Jake was, none of his pleasure mattered if you didn't enjoy yourself.

"A little bit." You admitted, wrapping your arms around his neck and kissing the top of his head. "But it's okay. I...liked it." You blushed furiously.

"Fuck..." He grumbled, pulling away and looking very much like a kicked puppy, something that you thought only Steven was a pro at. "As cute as you are blushing like that, princesa, I'm so fucking sorry. I know I should know when to stop, when to be gentle...but those are not really what I'm good at." His eyes drifted down, and you can tell that he had a lot more to say. A lot more to regret. "I'm sorry, Y/N."

"I forgive you, Jake. Now please... Stop beating yourself up, okay?" You cupped his face, pecking his nose and meeting his gaze. "I'm not lying when I said I liked it, but don't blame yourself too much. I also should've done something, spoken up if it was too painful for me." Your fingers ran through his hair, smiling softly, lovingly at him. "All of this is new for me--for us. But it's okay, 'cause we can learn together, yeah? And if you'd like, we can come up with a safe word if things get too rough."

Jake hesitated, wondering if you were really telling the truth and not just trying to comfort him. But one look at your sweet, loving smile was more than enough for his worries and doubts to fade away, his own smile gracing his lips and his hands holding your own that were so gently, kindly cupping his face.

"I think that would be great. Any idea what the safe word should be?"

"I was thinking 'Khonshu'." Your answer made Jake snort before he bursted into laughter, you joining shortly after.

"Mi vida, if you say that bastardo's name while we're fucking, you really are gonna make me go soft." He chuckled, pinching your cheek and kissing your forehead.

"Fine, fine! Clearly coming up with a safe word is what I'm not good at. Let's figure it out together." You playfully rolled your eyes, giggling and kissing his cheek. "Anyway, I'll head out first. But don't take too long or else I'll jump in the shower with you again and for the sake of Steven's water expenses, you do not want that happening."

"On one condition, señorita. You have to wear my clothes when you get out, not Steven's." He hummed to which you laughed and nodded, but just as you were about to step out of the shower, Jake suddenly grabbed your wrist and pulled you back to his chest.

He leaned down to your ear, voice a low purr as he spoke; like it was a secret, a sacred oath between only the two of you.

"El amor de mi vida, mi salvavidas... Nunca te dejaré ir."

Your lips curled up into a smile, your heart swelling achingly within your chest. You turned around and leaned up on your tiptoes, your lips melting perfectly together with Jake's, becoming one.

"I love you, Jake Lockley." You whispered, sealing your oath. "Now... Don't keep me waiting. You know I'm an impatient woman."

Jake watched with a dumb, lovestruck grin as you pulled away giggling, finally stepping out of the shower and closing the bathroom door behind you. And as soon as you were gone, Jake piped up to the other occupant in the bathroom.

"Steven, ese... I know you're there, might as well say something, huh?"

'Bloody HELL, mate...' Steven's words stumbled out in a rushed, breathless breath. 'That was MENTAL.'

"You're welcome for the free show, ese." Jake chuckled, standing under the spray of the shower as he washed himself off.

Although Jake couldn't see Steven, he knew that the poor, flustered English man was having a damn heart attack at this very moment.

'That was...that was...' Steven was completely at a loss for words, making Jake smirk.

"The hottest fucking thing you've ever seen? Yeah, I know. Y/N's our sexy girlfriend, after all." Jake turned off the shower, hopping out and drying himself off with a towel. "You're right, by the way. We're both absolutely fucked."

'I'm just glad it all worked out, mate.' Steven replied, relief and happiness flooding his voice. 'You deserve her. WE deserve her. It's just...' He trailed off, sighing deeply. 'Now that I think about it, I'm worried about Marc.'

"Fuck Marc." Jake snapped, his eyes settling on the mirror, Steven's reflection staring back at him with an anxious crease between his brows and lips downturned. "We deserve to live our own lives, too, Steven. That cabrón's just gonna have to deal with it."

And deal with it, Marc will. But...

You'll have to deal with Marc, too.

[fucksurass]

☆~MEET THE ARTIST~☆

Heyyyyy fellow Tumblr bloggers. My name is Ronnie but you can call me fucksurass. Not fuckasauras though... Many people read my username wrong or just taunt me with it. Pls get it right. Im fragile.

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Anyway, im a young(MINOR) black artist who first started showing my art to the internet people through tiktok. I like drawing for fun and post my art in hopes people like it. My posts consist of South Park, egthite(sp au(not mine) that I like), Azrielthedrawer, me an my wife, funny reblogs, ect.

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I have diagnosed anxiety and probably many other undiagnosed mental illnesses. I am not normal. I mean- Yes I am im so normal watch this

Does something normal

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Anyway. I dont mean any harm! Im just here to be silly and post my silly art and make silly friends!

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And art- I really like to draw. See look

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Anyway music is the soul so maybe if I put in my playlist people will know my soul and maybe theyll like me bc my soul is cool

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Ah yes cant forget the good ol DNI list

Dni real people if youre actually a real person then dont talk to me. I only talk to people who arent real

/jk I like people. Come be my friend

speaking on friends, heres a list of my tumblr buddies. If you wanna be my buddy too just let me know! If not then Ig thats okay... Heh... Guess I deserve i-

@azrielthedrawer @moon-swoons @sparkysunglasses @spookyteeth @rosebushstuff @rahneexd @haiihi @nottefierr @boobsl0v3er @kawaiibutters @th3r34l-k1ng0f-h3ll @spurkspaint @fennecfiree

Buddies!!

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I also have an au!! Two actually!

One is a wattpad story!

The other is not written its drawn! Its called DEAD? Park and its still heavily in the works but a couple parts are done in my old style! A new part is on its way so bear with me!!

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Idk what else to add here... I think... I think im done!

BYE

[juhihuji]

have any casual anime recommendations?? you seem to be into some cool stuff :0

HAHA Oh man what do I know! Hmm I'm not sure what makes an anime casual but I guess I'll just list some stuff I've enjoyed but never posted anything about lmao. So like I guess I post fanart for stuff all the time but these are fanartless from me lol

• Koko wa Greenwood! It's a 6 ep OVA? And it's all on youtube I think it's sssssuper cute and charming it's like a comfort watch for me

• Kodocha! Very cute and funny!

• lol BAKI! I only watched it so I could watch the Baki x Kengan crossover but I ended up liking it too lol. I was high when I watched all the Netflix episodes and I thought it was a comedy at first lol. Like a fighting themed comedy but I guess it's more like a really funny fighting anime? I guess I list it as casual cuz I can watch it with my brain turned off and it's so funny

• Beck: Mongolian Chop Squad. I watched it a long time ago idk if it counts as casual but idk! It stuck with me and I liked the music in it

• Initial D First Stage. Tbh I only liked first stage lol but it's really exciting and interesting imo! It inspired me to draw cars then I tried drawing some cars and I was really bad at it so I stopped right away but I like the show and the music is great ofc lol

• Mushishi! I recently watched all of it cuz I'm doing a Mushishi fan comic. I guess you'd call it episodic? Easy to watch it a bit at a time I guess :•)

• Jikuu Tenshou Nazca. Idk I'm only putting it here cuz it's short. It might be best known for being featured in the opening credits of Malcolm in the Middle lmao but idk it's bizarre and kinda fun? Actually tbh it's really boring but I keep rewatching it thinking it'll be cool. To me I added it because it's something I'll put on to watch in the background lmao. For some reason I really like the art style though and at least the premise is kind of interesting. It's all on youtube too lol

• Hana Yori Dango. I guess it's a really famous shoujo manga that inspired many live action adaptions but I only watched the anime lol. I really like the art and music. It's super dramatic and the relationships are toxic as fuck lmao but it's like soaps for weebs (me)

I'm gonna add a couple manga I really like 3 AM Dangerous Zone and Bartender! 3 AM has a live action I think but I only read the manga. I liked it cuz it was like a josei but with a male lead I actually find attractive lol. It's silly and cute! It's another of those things that I read for comfort lol. Bartender has an anime too. I guess a newer one came out this year? I watched the old one and it was kinda lacking but the manga is super comfy and easy to read little bits at a time :O)

I think most of these recs might not be very casual lol? oh well

[fake-static-airspace]

ok, this feels like it needs to be the next post on this account before people start getting REALLY confused LOL

so, because i mentioned before that i have furry designs of everyone (even moreso than im planning to showcase here, the others are just gonna have to come w time i think, this shit is scary to admit LMAO) but they might be hard to identify without proper explanation. oh, and cw for nudity, i guess, i had to draw a picture of gabs w/o clothes because i needed a proper reference for his markings/gold stripes.

so we're starting w the blue bitch itself. uhh, let's establish this rq- i have nicknames for everyone. *everyone.* i usually just call it "vee" or "vibri." idk how these accumulated. sometimes, i'll use other pronouns as slang for it, usually being "he" or "she." i don't see it as either male nor female, these are just because i like the sound of these words LOL.

here's what the bastard looks like:

what a beast, huh? well here's some more examples:

as you can see, i get pretty varied w my art and depictions of these guys. the top one is the newest sketch, but the other two are pretty good so i included them anyway :3 ive started making it's wings more frilled/feather-like, but they are still the same material. i just like the way it looks.

the next one we'll be talking about is the evil red thing- again, w the nicknames, we usually just call her "two," and again w the pronoun thing. i like she/her-ing it, though.

here's a quick, thumbnail example:

and a couple more, older examples:

i'm not sure what animal it is!! i think either a bunny or a jerboa. some kind of prey animal, but not exactly meek. rabbits aren't pushovers, if you didn't know, they're very fierce little things. these are all kinda old, seeing as i don't draw her as often as. well.

you guys are gonna have to get used to me calling him nicknames as well, because it's just funny to call a grown man cute nicknames. so. gabby.

he may be hard to initially identify, obviously, but if you're confused, i did plan for that!

i like drawing the armor, but i'm usually drawing more casual situations, and i uh. don't feel like drawing allat. sorry LMAO. plus i like his face markings, i think they're pretty!!

OH and the halo is dynamic. it changes depending on mood, and how he's presenting (w the more "classic" pointy look being more for formal occasions.) i strayed a lot from canon w his design, in that i typically have his face uncovered and put him in pretty dresses, as opposed to the armor. he's fun for me to draw, so it'll be mostly him and vibri that you'll be seeing ;w;

here's some other examples of the big man himself (oh, and the last one, uh, naked jumpscare, its a ref for his patterns/stripes. i give him a lot of those.) (the one w the safe is in reference to a joke me and my friend have going on fffucking roblox, where we steal from people, and generally cause problems, hence the odd outfit for vibri. its the most recent armor reference i have :shinijchair:)

even this pattern ref is a little outdated, because i've started making his tail color-shift as well!! its more of a feather-fan now.

i have designs for a bunch of other characters as well, but i think these three are a good starting place ^^; so yeah, this should help w any amount of confusion anyone has!! also, if this is ur first post seeing me, hi!! i promise im normal LOL

[tamelee]

What are your thought about modern art? I know a lot of artists on the Internet absolutely hate modern art, and talk about it like it was the thing that was killing art in general.

Personally I don’t agree at all, I think contemporain art can bring very interesting concepts and experiments.

And usually the people I’ve seen criticizing contemporain art were the one who make an obsession about realism. Tbh I think realism is kinda overrated…

But I’m curious to hear about your opinion :D

Well, I don't think contemporary art equals a certain style anyway as it is made by people today. You see realism and abstract now as well as in our history (not photo-realism ofc.). The father of my mother (so my grandfather, but it feels weird to call him that as I never knew him) was a well-known painter here in the Netherlands and his art was very abstract with lots of colors and shapes. So what some refer to when they say 'modern' often in such discussions is mostly the more 'simple' styles where they criticize it and say "a child can make this" where the comeback is "but you didn't".. At times they refuse to call it art as it requires little to no skill. Where the actual skill doesn't really get the recognition anymore. That's when these concepts becomes experimental and it makes people talk. I guess AI in a way is part of that as well though still in a much lesser form, but a bigger issue.

If I put up a simple photo of a child depicted in a wooden box and said: "Look, isn't that great?!" You'd probably think I was out of my mind but if I told you that it was Chris Hadfield as a 9 y/o pretending the box was a space rocket because he had an ambition to become an astronaut and actually realized his dreams later- only then it becomes interesting. A picture itself doesn't always tell a story (it can) and in 'modern' art a lot of the time the same thing applies. Yes, like the taped up banana which earned the title; a piece of art.

Authenticity (as vague as that is) as told by Pine & Gilmore can actually be measured by something (a story or art etc-) being faithful to itself and/or whether it says what it is. (At least that's what we in general do when it comes to communication in business.) The banana obviously is just a banana and the creator of this absurdity said they were making fun of the person (multiple) spending 120k on a rotting banana and said they deserved to be scammed. Which fair, I don't necessarily agree with it, but in that sense, they're being true to the message. This is how you can measure most media and businesses because it almost always works. (It is a bit more complicated than this, but you get the idea.)

But here's the kicker, people, in this case 'artists' or people who call themselves one, idk, can give their creation whatever message they want despite the visuals. Though spending 120k on a rotting banana is most likely money laundering and the artist must know that as well.. so, to then say it's just 'funny critique' regarding art and capitalism and "believing" the buyer got scammed, changes the message a bit. Yes? How valuable is it then really?

Not all art has to have some deep value-driven meaning at all, but most 'modern' "art" pieces that require no skill need other ways to gain attention and do so by provoking the audience. Marcel Duchamp was called an artistic genius because he turned a urinal upside down.. a damn toilet.

How does that compare to an actual drawing where someone put their heart and soul into the making of it through perhaps even years of experience, where you can see the person has skill? Or the making of a sculpture? Even things like graphic/interior design? Have we realized what happened to photographers? If you want to talk about the toilet as 'a piece of art' or even a simplistic circle because to you ~somehow~ the meaning behind it changes the world, then bring it along to your TED-talk and actually talk about it. Become that storyteller. It is proven that through the PSE (picture superiority effect) visual elements leave a lot more impact on your audience compared to just text or speech and that you remember it better by 65%. But to replace masterpieces in art galleries and auction them off for thousands/millions worth that we know goes also into money laundering regardless and call it art? And there must be some sort of meaning.... I guess? Nah. I have no clue what 'killed art' specifically because I'm not too knowledgable on that topic, but if this is art, then why aren't we calling your average Tiktokker professional movie directors/actors etc? Why isn't your YT-short or Tiktok clip an actual short film instead? How about calling this "thought-provoking art" just a concept as you say? Or the jpg that I forgot to include in my powerpoint? Comedic relief? An idea? And yes ideas can be art, but not every idea is art. AI images are generated prompts, but certainly not art and their makers are prompters and definitely not artists. So I agree with you that it can be experimental or perhaps provoke interesting concepts, but depending on the... 'art' and its intention... we should call it as it is. That's what I think. Perhaps 'modern art' in that sense as a term is too broad to judge.

So when you say realism, do you mean hyper/photo-realism specifically? Or just realism in general? Because as an artist my own opinion is that I wouldn't want to draw photorealistically as it takes too much time and if people can't tell whether I actually used up all my time to draw it or took the photo, even used photo-bash.. then for me, I don't really see the point in putting in all the effort. But, it is an amazing way to learn how to draw though, that's how I started. Looking at photo's and replicating it. In my earlier art I tried to render it to the best of my abilities as I had no idea how to draw so I had to look at pictures and see how light falls, how colors blend, what skin does and how it reflects.. On Instagram I often got comments that it looked so real, like a photo. I didn't know what to think of that, because even though it is a compliment, it wasn't a photo, I actually drew it and so it almost feels like an insult somehow. Does that make sense? I now want to almost erase parts of what I've learned when it comes to things feeling 'real' and stylize my art better. That's not something you learn in photo's but by finding out a tiny thing you like and then doing that over and over again until the next tiny thing. And lemme tell you... that is hard. So, I don't think realism is overrated, I think stylized art, often recognizable from an artist is severely underrated.

[bokutosbiceps]

✨How do sis✨ I'd like to request a match up with someone from either one piece or Haiykuu pls

Idk what to start with lol um

I'm an extrovert with long dreadlocks, that loves to draw and crochet. My love languages are gift giving, words of affirmation, and quality time. My favorite colors are greens, especially moss green. I love plants but only have one, it's thriving tho. And um my favorite aesthetic is cottage/fairy core aesthetic, I prefer cutesy kdrama-like dates over any other kind I guess🌱🌱🌱

I hope that's enough to work with୧⁠(⁠＾⁠ ⁠〰⁠ ⁠＾⁠)⁠୨

it’s perfect, coco !! i hope you like your matches 💕😁 here we go !!

one piece

i match you with USOPP 🤎

first of all, usopp is a sucker for partners who can give him words of affirmation. tell him he’s strong, you love him, he’s handsome, he’s your hero, etc + he’ll be putty for your molding. he also really loves to give words of affirmation, but that can only come after he’s gotten comfortable enough with you to show you his soft side. so the love language that he presents to you in the beginning stages of your relationship is gift giving! whenever he comes back to the sunny from little trips around random islands, he will always have a knick knack for you to enjoy. he’ll puff up his chest + tell you about the seven foot, five hundred pound man he had to fight in order to get you that gift! so you better be grateful.

a relationship with usopp would include all of the fun in the world, but also lots of cuddles and sweetness. once he gets to know you + comes to trust you, he wants to do absolutely everything with you! come sit next to him while he fishes, while he tinkers with new gadgets, while he’s relaxing on the deck in the sunshine. sitting next to him during meals is a must, too, because he wants to whisper little jokes about other crew members to you just so he can see you giggle.

usopp really learns to refine his romantic qualities when he’s with you. he had never really thought of himself as a romantic man until he met you, but ever since then, he’s found himself wanting to pick you flowers, make you little gadgets to help you with daily life, and let you lay in his lap while he massages your scalp. for the very first date that he took you on as an o f f i c i a l couple, he took you to a clearing filled with yellow and orange daisies. there wasn’t really much planned out besides that, but from the way you smiled from ear to ear and hugged him tightly, he felt as though he had taken you out to a five star restaurant.

pls crochet him a hat. he w i l l wear it + treasure it like luffy treasure’s his straw hat.

haikyuu

i match you with HINATA SHOYO ���

oh god, being with this man would be a whirlwind, wouldn’t it? but it’d be so fun! you can’t find someone more affectionate than shoyo + he wants to shout his love for you from the tops of every rooftop he comes across!

shoyo loves to hold you close or be touching you in some way while you draw. it’s something he thinks is very intimate; he’ll lay his head in your lap, drape himself over your shoulders, cuddle up next to you then peer over your shoulder to watch you work your magic. whether you drawings be on paper or digital, he will ask for a copy so he can look at them whenever he pleases. he absolutely loves your drawings + he thinks its so cool that you can create something just like that!

you want cutesy dates? you got cutesy dates! he takes you to every sweets cafe he comes across. seriously, any time he’s going somewhere new + he comes across a place he thinks you’ll like, he’ll take a photo of it so he can remember to take you there on your next date! he’ll order a bunch of sweets for you both and lay them out on the table so he can take adorably aesthetic photos of you with the food, which he’ll later look at when struggling to decide on which photo he should set as his new background/lock screen.

a/n: are you even surprised @ your one piece match up, coco? you knew it was coming LOL. i hope i did your boy justice !!  anyways, i hope you loved it 😁

[dracwife]

Idk if ur still taking them but 🩸 and 🤝 for Astarion! Hope ur well :o) -hamsterwife

thank u ! hope ur evening is going well : ]

🩸 - "is that blood?" + 🤝 - "let me help you, please."

"Darling, for as mysterious a creature as you put yourself out to be, you are not very subtle."

"What does that mean?"

Astarion scoffs, fingers curling gently into the hair of his lover, carding through the raven locks, taking a particular care and gentleness at each knotted tangle that lay on the underside of the sorcerer's mane.

"It means, my dear, your heart could simply not beat any louder."

"Well, that's really no fault of mine, is it? You and your vampiric hearing, and whatnot. Is it an elf thing as well?"

"Dearest, you are an elf."

"Ah, half-elf, and perhaps in a different life. This body does not perceive the world anymore in ways that you are familiar with, I assure you. I've no better hearing than the human spirit that still lingers clouded in my heart this evening. And so it has been as such for many years," they shift in the rogue's lap, sitting slightly more up-right so that their back may lean against the other's chest, "Until it vacates my mind completely, I've not a single advantage over the average human senses."

"A roundabout way to admit you're growing old, love."

"Maybe so. But what, pray tell, draws your attention so close to me now? I can guess my heart flutters no more or less on the average night with you."

"I'm just --"

"Hungry?"

"Parched. The hunger never subsides, as you well know by now."

Il-Mourruirí's head falls gently to the side as the ponder, though the longer they sit that way the more Astarion wonders himself if it is more or less an invitation. The fire crackles and snaps as the thought crosses his mind, nearly assuaging him there in the cool eve. The distant, but steady breathing of the rest of the dozing group stops him. Perhaps it is not the place. He feels then, a strange sensation worming -- quite literally -- its way into his mind. And shortly after, a voice, dripping with that strange accent and cadence that he has grown so fond of.

"Let me help you."

A hand, the hand of his lover snakes around the back of his own neck, pulling him just a tad closer in his moment of hesitation, an explicit invitation now, a plead, even. Perhaps just a taste --

But he stops himself as his breath fans their neck, fangs bared. His teeth drag across their skin, but do not break it. Instead, he places a gentle kiss just below the beating of their pulse. Though he retains his composure upright, his hands pull then just a little bit closer, fingers tug just a little harder at their hair.

They sigh, and roll off of him, disappearing much to Astarion's dispair; But they return after a moment, and produce a small bottle, unlabelled and dark.

"Is that...?"

"Blood."

"Where did you get it?"

"I must keep some secrets, you know, or else it's no fun. I am, after all, a 'creature of mystery,' I believe is how you said it?"

"Perhaps it's for the better, then."

They press a kiss to the top of his head, where wild silver curls after a long day of travel and fighting, mumbling something of "Perhaps it is," before retreating to their shared tent.

Astarion looks at the bottle, then towards the tent.

"Ah," he finally sighs, uncorking the thing, "Best not look a gift Worg in the mouth."

[h0n3yk1tt3n]

001 richjake :]

When i started shipping them, if I did: probably as soon as i knew the ship existed? sooo p quick after i joined the bmc fandom *checks calendar* 6 years ago in november

My thoughts: I definitely haven't picked them apart under a microscope like I have with other ships (cough cough royal pains and boyfs) but I've seen enough of your richjake analysis to absorb some of the inherent tragedy surrounding them and see a bit more than just "the meme ship"

What makes me happy about them: they seem like the pairing that can always find something fun to do. No wifi? No problem let's go attempt to parkour across a playground. Let's see if we can use coke and mentos as a propulsion system on skates. Let's turn the first floor into a ballpit and sled down the stairs into it. Like a Marginally less dangerous version of Jackass

Things done in fanfic that annoys me: I haven't read enough richjake fic to pick anything out. Although maybe the tragedy here is that not enough is done with the ship even when it's just smth in the background. Like I understand not wanting to distract from the Main Ship! But. Idk I feel like more Implications regarding their dynamic can be sprinkled about w/o it being distracting, though that could probably be said for any background ship. Or maybe I'm talking out of my ass

Things I look for in fanfic: again I don't explore it enough to Have Preferences... I should probably change that

Who I'd be comfortable with them ending up with, if not each other: the thing is. Even when I draw/depict rare pairs (royal pains, puppylove, etc) it's never with the intention that they'll be endgame. This show's a damn soap opera everyone's breaking up left and right. So even tho royal pains makes me Insane I just. Can't have them be endgame. There is a Timeline in my head and if that Timeline isn't intact in some form it's just. Wrong. (This isn't commentary on anyone else's shipping tendencies I'm just Weird™️. Yall ship whatever u want as long as its not, yk, squip x kid or smth equally bad)

My happily ever after for them: maybe I'm just Terrified Of The IRL Future but all I really think of Future-wise for ships is They Get To Have The Same Fun As Before But Also They Make Out Sometimes Too. So like,, domestic bliss I guess?

Who is the big spoon/little spoon: Rich Has definitely rolled over in his sleep and big spooned Jake on several occasions but is little spoon more often than not

What is their favorite non-sexual activity: I've been watching a lot of imbrandonfarris "things x made me buy" videos so all I can think of is Jake buying a bunch of ridiculous shit and messing around with Rich. Like they would ABSOLUTELY blow up an inflatable slide in a room too small to hold it, attempt to go down it, and crash into a tiny duck table

[linawritesocs]

Here is my writing for you <3

Aka reasons why I KNOW Lilia x Lina x Rollo is canon frfr

First of all, the vibes and the aesthetics are there. Trust

The :D x :( x :| dynamic is so fun. So so fun

Lilia is scooping you and Rollo up in his arms and giving you both forehead kisses <3

You and Rollo have things in common and I think you'd be able to help each other get through a lot of stuff!

Plus Lilia is there to always support you and he's very understanding!! No judgment from him at all, absolutely 0

Again, LILIA AND ROLLO WOULD FIND YOUR SMILE AND LITERALLY EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU STUNNING!!! GORGEOUS!!! They wouldn't want to change a single thing about you!

They'd take such good care of you, no cap. Seriously. They'd be absurdly good at it. And they're incredibly careful and ask if you're comfortable :)

Why did they fall for you? Not sure with them but in my head, they saw a failgirl meow meow (affectionate) and went "OMG I LOVE THEMMM" and "...Okay so I love them"

Also that one Halloween drawing you did is like. Stuck in my head permanently. The vampire x witch x priest one.

Ngl I think y'all should have a pet cat. Idk why but it seems right

So the fireworks during masquerade, right? Or whatever they were if they weren't fireworks, I'm not sure jsndkfs

I think Rollo would take you both to a place that's kinda far and the sounds aren't very audible, but the view of the town is great! And you get a clear view of the fireworks so that you don't have to miss how pretty they are!

I'm trying to think of date ideas but I'm kind of blanking rn? I know it'd be something more low-key... OHHH what if cat cafe??? (I feel like I keep mentioning cats but that's literally your and Rollo's energies, I can't just forget cats)

Whenever you're sick, Rollo would definitely take some time away from NBC, like a few hours, so he can see you and make sure you're doing all right! Maybe he brings you some food or medicines he heard is good for you!

I'm sure Lilia does a really good job too, plus he'd make sure you aren't lonely and in low spirits!

Random thought: If Silver is basically the son of Lilia and Lina, what's Rollo's role? I feel like he doesn't dislike Silver, that's all, but if you have thoughts... 👁️👁️

Cottagecore house cottagecore house cottagecore house

Once y'all graduate I can see you having a cottagecore house. Yes just like Seth and Rollo

That's all I have rn but PLEASE RAMBLE IN YOUR RESPONSE IF YOU WANT!!! I WANNA HEAR MORE ABOUT THEM <333

HSDHDJSJSDJKSJS TARUUUUU THIS IS SO CUTE I'M GONNA CRYYYYYY

and you're right. rollo x lina are just cat x cat. both of them are so cat-coded.

THE IMAGE OF LILIA SCOOPING BOTH ME AND ROLLO UP IS SO FUNNY but it's okay i know he can do it

everything about the vampire x priest x witch au is perfect. lina and lilia already dating and lilia going "hey dude wanna form a polycule". rollo naming one of the bells john and making cole and sebastian worry for his mental health. rollo being So Scared that someone is gonna find out about his relationship with those two but when cole and sebastian do find out they just go "OMG SO YOU DO HAVE BITCHES SLAYYYYY- ahem, we mean. wow.. you're not maidenless.." lina secretly being a catgirl and hiding her cat ears under her witch hat and fully turning into a cat when she's comfortable around rollo. honestly priest!rollo is a very popular au concept especially with a vampire/witch/other "monster" s/o but like. come on. we all know this is the best one /lh

. I GUESS SILVER CAN ALSO BE ROLLO'S SON THOUGH THAT'D BE SO FUNNY IT'S LIKE ".. so. uh. y-you're dating my father." ".. yes" "and you're also dating my mother" "also yes" ".. uh. does that make you-" "i am literally one year older than you" "okay father number two" NO BUT THEY EVEN LOOK KINDA SIMILAR. KNIGHT OF DAWN WHO. i'm actually obsessed with the way how silver actually looks and acts like a mix of them. he can appear very suddenly, scaring others in the process, just like lilia, he's eepy like lina and also tends to blame himself a lot just like them and he looks a lot like rollo and is very serious and responsible, just like him. he is literally their son. i'm gonna sob

here are some of my fav lina x lilia x rollo concepts if you don't mind me sharing!

lilia is 700 years old and he's been through so much and it took a lot of time for him to change and become the gremlin that he is today. lina is MUCH younger than him, but she also had to go through a lot of horrors. lilia never says that their trauma isn't valid and never says stuff like "well at least you didn't have to fight in a war". he just hopes they can feel a bit lighter when he's around.

i've mentioned before that i imagine lina's unique magic hurting them a lot in exchange for them to do things as good (or better than) as others so yeah, maybe rollo would find lina suspicious at first but then imagine him finding out about what her magic is doing to her and he's like. "SEE. I AM RIGHT. WE HAVE TO SAVE YOU WE HAVE TO GET RID OF MAGIC WE HAVE TO-" and lina is standing there like "sir.. why do you want to save me.."

*sobs* rollo putting a flower in lina's hair while she's sitting lost in thought and comparing her to that flower *CRIES*

rollo being confused why lilia is 100% okay with a poly relationship and lilia is like "well. uh. well. you see. i have EXPERIENCE" mallenoa and her husband (possibly crowley)

ACTUALLY IT'S SO FUNNY bc if you think about it lina x lilia x rollo is like a reverse version of that relationship. it's not the "actual queen" and a "trash man" it's "the nbc student council president and the most talented student from that school" and "a wet cat i found on the street and said "i just think it's neat"".

*SOBBING* LINA HAS NOTICEABLE FANGS.. DO YOU KNOW WHO ALSO HAS THOSE.. which means linalilia can just bite rollo whenever they want.

lina and lilia dye each other's hair all the time and try to make rollo join them. they fail but it's okay

[raeygina-george]

Every third remaining ask from the game

ill just answer the whole thing in one. LONG ASS POST GUYS

💖Favourite thing to draw

WAVY HAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

💯Favourite piece(s)

you get a sneak peek of the art project im working on yay. the perks of putting up with my bullshit <3

some of these i like more than others but as of rn these are the pieces i show people who haven't seen my art. my makeshift portfolio, i guess

🌈Favourite colour palette(s)

i think this is obvious enough if you look at my previous answer, but pinks, oranges, purples, and blues!

🤴Favourite OC(s) to draw

oooh yikes. to DRAW???? i never draw my ocs... i really like kyrie's design but i've never drawn her outside of that so i feel like she'd be really hard to get right..... idk i mean i guess saturn????????

🎨Favourite artist(s)

i dont have a lot of these, but i like hanacue, aidairo, and milkie2's art styles (these r just what i could think of off the top of my head)

✒Favourite medium 

i like gouache cause im a whore bitch

📏Medium you’d like to work with more

gouache because im not typically a traditional artist and every time i sit down to paint i just end up suffering for like an hour before i finally accept the fact that i cannot save this little kitty from its fate of looking like a vaguely animal-shaped blob. such interactions further repel me from the world of traditional art. im taking a painting class soon though so i'll just get my act together then

💭Go-to subject matter

humans?? usually just like. smiling. not doing anything too interesting

💜Drawing staples

i don't know exactly what this means but if it's an art piece of mine, it's got pink in it

💬What you’d like to draw more of

i'd like to draw more like backgrounds and animals? there's a shit ton of stuff i wanna improve with my humans but idk i've been wanting to branch out a bit more for a while i just haven't had the time or energy to draw more than like 1 of my blorbos a month

😂 Funniest drawing

i play tee k o with my family (you) so i draw stuff for that that's silly. WAIT HANG ON

this isn't my funniest drawing but it's what i have

❓Weirdest drawing/drawing with a weird process

im doing an art telephone w my friends that i might post when we're done? i can't post it now cause that would ruin the fun but yeah

🕑Drawing(s) that took the longest

uhhhh i mean earlier in my drawing journey i took forever to draw and i really hated drawing bc i took a super long time to draw and i didn't like anything i made and no one else liked anything i made so it was just like wow i spent all that time for nothing. still glad i did it though bc that era was still an important step in my art development. anyways as for more recent pieces uhh. my piece for the yorknew auction took a while, mostly because i had 0 time or energy and it was a really involved piece

👑Favourite fictional character(s) to draw

as you will see, i really like drawing lust from fmab

👿Least favourite fictional character(s) to draw

i've found out that unfortunately drawing olivier is not very fun for me. so sad cause i really like her

👔Design process for [x] character 

oh my god guys ask me about my magical girl designs and i will go insane i will type up a whole essay. i'll talk about kyrie cause i like her a lot

here's the design! so she drowned (or rather, was drowned by someone else) at 16 after being stalked for a couple months and eventually kidnapped. not exactly the lightest story, but bc it was so traumatic her brain erased the memories, and she doesn't find out the real cause of death until much later in the story, when kye comes across a guy who lived in kyrie's town and gets the full story.

her outfit is themed after ophelia for. obvious reasons. i looked up paintings/common interpretations of ophelia and found that she was commonly depicted in a white and gold dress with reddish-brown hair half up. oh, and flowers. so i ran with that. the white streaks in her hair were actually not part of the initial plan, but when i was using the bucket tool it left blank streaks and i just thought it looked nice.

for the flowers i chose forget-me-nots because she loses her memory, and then the hands on the skirt represent her fight to stay alive (both while drowning and before) and how she reached out for help in the months leading up to her death but no one answered. she's also, in a way, reaching for her lost memories, who she used to be, etc etc. the blue thingy in the back was initially supposed to be a mermaid tail as like. a single callback to the little mermaid (and the fact that she was a really good swimmer, so it's ironic that she drowned), but i took the mermaid aspect out & added in the two eyes.

the eyes are like. the feeling of being watched. the eye at the front will always look at kyrie no matter what, and the eye in the back will look at anyone else it can find, as if pleading for help. i just noticed the bracelet? not sure why that's there. probably just for fun. anyways the ring with the star on it is from a play called 'the princess who had no name', which is about a princess with amnesia who's trying to find out who she is and where she came from.

and finally, the weapon! it's meant to be a sparkler, like the little fireworks yk? it's a callback to the very first draft of her character from like 2 years ago, back when the kyries shared the name lylie instead & i had written absolutely nothing about her character. but i was reading through the old plot/character info a while ago and i found out she apparently really liked fireworks??? that was like my only piece of info about her. i figured since she'd changed so much it was only fair i put a little something from her roots. but the sparkler can also represent how 'bright' she appears to be; people are drawn towards her, for better or worse.

📆Earliest fandom you did fanart for/first fanart

the first fandom i remember like really being hyperfixated on was.... miraculous ladybug................. BUT i didn't make any fanart for it, so instead you get the very first real piece of art i ever made on my computer :)

shoutout to me for drawing those wings by hand. i didn't know how to use the flip tool so i just spent like 4 hours trying to make them symmetrical. and now i can't even remember how to draw butterfly wings. smh

HOLY SHIT WAIT I JUST REMEMBERED. BACK WHEN YOU FIRST SHOWED ME FAIRY TAIL I DREW HAPPY A COUPLE TIMES. I DONT HAVE ANY PICS BUT THAT'S DEFINITELY EARLIER THAN THIS. oh my god and don't even get me started on my warriors phase. wow i guess i've been making fanart since forever lol

📖Sketches 

this post is already too long. no

📝Process for [x] drawing 

my general art process is idea > rough sketch > real sketch > lineart (if applicable) > coloring > rendering > SHADE THE FUCK OUT OF THAT THING > send it to my friends and say 'anything else i should add 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺' > add a little more shading > done. you can ask me for more detailed instructions, i'd be happy to give a more in-depth tutorial about something specific

✨Inspiration for [x] drawing 

uh idk i do a lot of redraws. lately i've been doing redraws + asking friends for cool poses + looking at stock images for inspiration

💚Things you like about [x] drawing

i'll go with that aubrey piece from one of the earliest questions. i like how the emotions came across in both her expression and the coloring, and how much more fluid the pose is. i think the shading & rendering is neat. overall it's a big improvement from the piece i was redrawing so im really proud of that & it's nice to see how far i've come in a relatively short amount of time

⏳Things you’d do differently with [x] drawing

using the same drawing, uhh... idk there's some stuff with the proportions that like. sometimes looks fine to me and sometimes looks off? i really just eyeball anatomy and stuff so it's not always particularly Good. i like the colors i have here but they're not the colors i was intending to use. i didn't really know how to draw the jacket and everything i did with the top just looked strange so they're not As Detailed or 'good' as they probably could be? there's parts where i got lazy and all that but all in all i really like this drawing and nothing big really jumps out at me, these are all just nitpicks

💌Some favourite feedback on art

hmmmmmmm i really like the few like. paragraph responses i've gotten. i appreciate every single comment i get but like when people rave to you about your art???? that's so nice. i can't really pick out a critique i've heard that super super helped me off of the top of my head, but there's power in knowing what you can do better next time

[oceanblueeyesoul]

hello can i get a pjo cabin + s/o and a wensday match up ? ( a male match is fine for the s/o’s )

my name is Ziah, i use she/her pronouns and im like 5’3-5’5, 5w6 enneagram, an aries sun + libra moon + a scorpio rising. my hogwarts house is a ravenclaw and my mbti is an intj. i have dark brown skin and eyes with jet balck curly hair above my shoulders with bangs covered with a headband. I have a couple moles and a scar like a line down my forehead tho its kinda fading ngl. im mostly calm/humble & nonchalant but make jokes 24/7 in secret. My personality is described as “elderly ”by others because im serious at times but im more goofy once i get to know people also that im mad lazy when i want to be. pretty much the quiet friend whos an accidental instigator but everyones chiil with plus im the kinda strong friend who carries in arm-wrestling while holding on to the title as the “nerd” despite giving no enthusiasm in schoolm. i get laughs out of pestering friends/family with harmless debates and small things like people ik falling/tripping . i play basketball and work out every now n’ then doing miles on the treadmill. i actually do enjoy running when i actually am not procrastinating. the only thing i dislike is people who talk unnecessarily to much at times and being forced to do things that i don’t enjoy if i think about it. id say im decently smart for 99% of the time get good grades & A’s. tbh i just mostly observe others than be then main man talking. tho i have to admit i do get competitive when it comes to awards being involved & like taking on bets!! especially ones involving money or sweets as prizes. i guess my hobbies could be considered drawing, some piano,reading and listening to rap/rnb whenever im not knocked out asleep from sports practice. other random stuff i like is animals, science, history, psychology, marvel, drake, the weeknd, greek mythology, rain, j.cole , art museums or museums in general, harry potter on some days of the week and all that other stuff that falls under those categories. idk if this is useful but my style is tomboy-ish but you’ll catch me in a skirt or dress just not as often . though you mostly catch me neutral tones and nikes, converse or doc martens on average. i apologize if this long but i thank you it in advance !!!

Hi there, Ziah! I really hope you like this a lot!

PJO Cabin Matchup

You give me Cabin 1 (Zeus) vibes! You and your siblings would have fun competing against each other for having fun with each other when it comes to running competitions.

PJO Matchup

Your PJO soulmate is...

LEO VALDEZ!!

He would definitely going to be releasing your goofy side a lot more on the outside because he is very good at making you laugh a lot.

The two of you would be definitely playing the piano together all the time because it makes you guys feel safe with each other a lot.

He would be the man talking to all kinds of people because he knows that you prefer to watch and observe people rather than talking to them.

Cancer x Aries lovebirds!

Hufflepuff x Ravenclaw soulmates!

ENTP x INTJ sweethearts!

Wednesday (Netflix) Matchup

Your Wednesday (Netflix) soulmate is...

XAVIER THORPE!!!

The two of you would definitely be drawing together as a couple and an individual art project because the two of you are each other's muses when it comes to drawing something.

He would definitely like the fact you are competitive a lot because it means that you are not afraid of anything at all when it comes to beating your enemies fair and square.

The two of you would definitely be watching Marvel movies together because the two of you likes the characters growth development, the sense of humour and the art design of each Marvel characters' costumes.

Aquarius x Aries lovebirds!

Slytherin x Ravenclaw soulmates!

ISFP x INTJ sweethearts!

[7ban-sama]

Others ships you enjoy?

I'm simple and I like main text romances like Akane/Aoi, Natsuhiko/Sakura, Hakubo/Sumire... I'm generally just a fan of Iro-sensei's idea of romance ^^ so I like what we see in canon of these all! I like to see where they all end up across AUs, too. There are some novel arrangements/events... Sf funny how much of a simp Akane and Natsuhiko are, I just have to bow my head and relate. And then Hakubo is ah, quite tragic, so I feel for him...

Out of these pairings, I like HakuSumi best, and they're probably liiike... The pairing I would have the most fun exploring in some way. If I just had to guess. Though, It would be in the far flung future lol... we're talking very 'ehh maybe someday' like, perhaps when I've been stuck in this fandom for so many years, I might as well explore the territory. Until it's been idk a decade, I have my hands full with the OT3.

Nothing really has my interest like Yugi8... There's too much to say about HanaNeneTsuka. It's so captivating and every day I'm screaming and crying and tearing my hair out over it. I feel like I need to explore every inch of canon, consider every possibility, then also dive into every crazy iteration of them in an AU and... and stare at everything ever written or drawn by AidaIro-sensei to understand it further... I need to memorize the manga and I need to learn JP fully so I can read it all in it's native language. I need to write and draw everything in my head and that'll take forever. And then I need to make more AMVs and crude manga slide shows and I need to reblog more poetry about them. And I need to get better at animating and I need to also learn how to make MMDs... I have to mak e playlists and i ,

there's much ground to cover.

Anyways I will be curious to see how the manga will be developing it's romances... Cuz I just look forward to seeing what happens in general!! I feel like we're about to get into Natsuhiko and Sakura's history soon~~ Which is exciting... I never really know what the final 'conclusion' of a pairing will be exactly..! There's so many twists and turns that leave me quite surprised, despite it all being very consistent with the overarching themes in the manga. So cohesive, but also so unique! My little pea can't possibly guess what will happen next. :o

What's cool is it feels like all the romances feed into one another... I feel like I'm seeing more and more of the greater picture, always. And I love this world and I love seeing everyone struggle to get to the root of their desires!! Rarara ... It's just such a fun manga XP

[self-ships-ahoy]

Technically Dai Zong has been the f/o who's been here the longest, though he was never the main. It's a lot of fun when he's the current focus of my mind, since I often delve into expanding Hero 108 lore and diving into research on the Song dynasty and other details of ancient Chinese culture. I'd say I spend as much time learning about and building the world around us as I do the shipping aspect!

It's just a shame cuz the momentum doesn't go very far, since I'm the only one in the self ship community who has Hero 108 as an active fandom. I am in a server for it, but idk I'm kinda nervous. I'd like to recommend it to you, if you don't mind its cliche kid show plot points (it gets better in the second season tho). I have taken it upon myself not only to share the show with you, but to add more content of Dai Zong into the world (no one draws him but me XD). I guess what I'm saying is that I'd like to give him more attention in my mind and on my blog, if you all are interested and I can keep the momentum.

[orbiyoo]

3 4 and 14! :D

3. what ideas come from when you were little!

cant tell if this means like ideas about art in general or ideas about what/how u draw? ill do both i guess. but to be really honest i have like no memory LOL i know i was big into anime as a preteen so that's definitely where the nightmare began in general. like with my art style... i don't even want to get into art styles cause i don't think that's real but also i do so bad because i dont have one and it kills me. i guess this is sort of an inverse of from when i was little but i did have a hater of pink phase and now i understand that i was so wrong. now i tend to use a lot of warm colors and pink when i draw i love you peach i love you orange i love you pink!!!! for art in general idk where it comes from but i have it in my head that i have to render every single thing when i do NOT and im working on not being so bananas about it.. but on the nice side i've always been a firm believer that anybody can draw and maybe should draw once in a while. im not a fan of "practice so you can get good" Nao!!! learning is fun but why is it about being "good" what does that even mean draw with whatever you have even if you think it sucks and then love your creation. it's about catharsis. have some whimsy

4. fav character/subject that's a bitch to draw

everything (coughs up blood) actually i Love frills and hair. i DONT LOVE RENDERING FRILLS AND HAIR AAAAHG!!!! also eyes because i never ever draw them consistently i forget how im drawing them every 10 minutes. and for characters this is shameful to admit but i have such a hard time getting emu right she's literally my favorite and my weirdgirl daughter but i just cannot get her regular hair to look right ever. OH ALSO I LOVE SHOES SO SO MUCH AND I JUST CAN'T DRAW THEM... i love chunky sneakers.. loafers... dress shoes... i always get stumped drawing the soles

14. any favorite motifs

oooh my god well since yuo asked i fucking LOVE anything that involves like a stage or acknowledging that the media is a story/a work of art. its definitely revstar and orvs fault but like stage curtains and audience seats and page margins and books and the character(s) staring at the viewer. etc. i hate the monarchy but i freaking love knights. chivalry in general its a gender on its own. also to be generic i Love devil motifs and horns in general and blood but not in a gorey way more like a metaphorical blood on your hands way. i love the light that corrupts im like a moth... umm and like to get really specific the impaling of someone with a sword especially while in a tragic/intimate setting/tender embrace will get me every time. to get really vague anything to do with love even when its sad though personally i believe love prevails. i also love a tragic jester. what else umm stars n space and astronauts but specifically with whatever the future eve MV has going on... oh i love when something symbolizes a characters determination or ambition. best reference for this off the top of my head is the tomato thing in revstar.. im editing the post to add this but ballet even though i hate doing it the visual themes are so good. and i LOVE texture in both digital and physical mediums especially when noise/scratchy textures or chunky paint or visible strokes etc are used to show anger and rage like YESSS rise rise rise it is so Visceral and it is so good. thank u for the ask!!! ♪(*^^)o∀*∀o(^^*)♪

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary157

2/18-19/2024

sunday - monday

ate popcorn and feel kind of sick.

otherwise though, feeling good. working on the 2nd of the 2 problem songs rn, it's def getting there.

and now i think it's there. the other also feels 'there' even if it's just roughly.

i also just finished the gut thing i started last night, very cool.

the next one is gonna be kind of a doozy, i think, as well, so tomorrow i'll probably spend a long time on that, and then the next day, i have a monster, maybe i can drink that and do a bunch of something. i kind of hope i can put that energy to writing though.

also it is late and i kept saying i had to work in the morning tomorrow but that changed, it's now 6 pm to 9pm, which is better for me in every way, basically. it'll give me more time to do music before work and also keep the workout routine up w/o having to insert a weird rest day into it.

the 2nd trouble song, i feel like i want the guitars to have a little more high end, i'll try that now but i just wonder if that's part of what the saturating is doing..

it's an easy test/fix so it's nbd.

and yayy it sounds good.

and hopefully soon i can get my card situation squared away so i can order clothes from japan and then take a bunch of annoying + vain selfies in clothes that make me feel cute and not ugly or something.

speaking of clothes, i have this rlly tiny cardigan i love because it goes w/ everything as a nice layer when i can't figure anything else out, it's like a perfect piece of clothing, idk where it is, making me very very upset kind of. hopefully that turns up soon.

i think my hair will stop wigging me after like, one more day probably. i don't know why my bangs can give me such dysphoria lol it's dumb. i'm just so used to them being like, i guess the thing that makes me feel like i 'pass' i guess. idk. i don't know if that's true or not. i don't think so. it's not like they're gone, i've done this before, even, in the lifespan of the blog, and like, worse, even, for instance look at me when i gave myself this hair:

those are like, psychotic bangs, i'm not there rn, looking thru my selfies there's another pic of me w/ bangs that are kind of like where i'm at rn:

it's funny, in that one i took the selfie while my phone was super messed up so it died whenever it wasn't plugged in, and i was so like, dysphoric or whatever, idk what to call this even, saying it's 'dysphoria' seems not entirely accurate or whatever, but when i felt hideous and needed to capture like, myself not being ugly, i had to plug my phone in, in the bathroom, to do that. that's so embarrassing huh.

anyway, this whole stupid issue is making me look up how to blowdry bangs, which is something i do already, everyday, and know how to do basically, but i guess i'm just trying to get better so i don't make myself go coo coo every time i want to 'fix' my hair.

anyway look at me in akasaka, this was a fun time:

i remember, they had a bunch of harry potter stuff up here, cuz it's so big in japan, and we'd see people come up and look and get really excited, take pictures with it, it was very sweet, honestly, i'm glad that's a primary thing my mind goes to, thinking of harry potter, over anything else, it just pays to not be very invested in it.

i did another gut drawing thing, but it's sort of a practice run for another idea i guess, cuz i don't like the novel part of it, i wanna draw intestines getting cut, and the sinew holding / almost snapping, and stuff. that bit is harder to get right w/ pixels but i think tomorrow i could.

also, since i got paid, i have started looking at some other stupid things, like a digicam. thinking about getting a sony cybershot 8.1 megapixels (i think) (or 7.2), there's one for 30 bux on ebay rn (same w/ the 7.2 mp variant), seems cute and fun. might give me some cool options w/ photography stuff.

n - e wayzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz, i need to sleep, it is 3:43 am and i do want to fix my sleep schedule at some point, it'd be good for me.

so,

byebye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!