#i guess these things can exist in my mind and bother me until the eventual possibility of me doing a grand re-edit of the whole fic

[mysticmoaning]

Tension II - rab

Description:

Regulus decides to apologise and you accept in a very gracious way.

Warnings:

Big angst / Use of 'mudblood' / Fingers in V / V Penetration / Virgin!Regulus

A/N:

This is not what I originally planned for this part two, but I guess that can be expected after such a long time between, sorry!!! I hope you enjoy the Big Feelings, Sad Boi Regulus, and Virgin!Regulus. Sorry about the ending, I want to keep this going cause I have some ideas and it was necessary unfortunately.

After your experience on the train, Regulus had become all but non-existent in your life. Your meeting with the muggle-born first years (where he gritted out the speech he left you to write and practically spat on the new wizard and witches' abilities) was the last time you'd seen him, save for the occasional glimpse around Hogwarts.

Whatever. You had better things to do than fool around with such a close-minded prick like him. No matter that the feeling of your own fingers had become a shadow compared to the memory of his scissoring inside you. Fuck...

Stop. You'd get over him eventually. It's not like you liked him, you just...no.

You tried to focus on detangling the knots in your hair as you yanked it out of its bun, wincing at your accidental aggressiveness. It was just your luck that you'd had a quidditch match today. Regulus had been wearing those tight pants under his quidditch robes and your thoughts had drifted towards how difficult it would be to slip your hand down them, costing you a goal.

Lost in the memory, you didn't hear the footsteps until whoever was right behind you. You jumped, having stayed late to have the place to yourself and wondering who the hell had come to disturb you. At the sight of Regulus, you gasped.

"What are you doing here?" You snapped.

He looked ghostly pale, his damp hair combed back and beginning to curl. Noticing his uniform, you realised you were in your bra and underwear, believing everyone to have vacated the showers.

Good. Maybe you could make him squirm.

His eyes flickered down your body before resting on the floor, his cheeks quickly growing red. He shoved his hands in his pants pockets and you smirked in understanding as to why. Well, he couldn't deny his attraction to you.

"Why the nerves, Black? Thought you hated me..." You turned to put your brush down on the bench beside you, head quickly swivelling back when you heard him mumble something under his breath. "What?"

He glanced up, eyes catching on your lacy bra before meeting yours. A muscle in his jaw twitched.

"I said, I don't hate you."

You stared in disbelief. What was he on about?

"Merlin, you had me fooled." You stood, taking a step towards him with your hands on your hips. "Pushing me away as soon as your fingers left my pussy," his adam's apple bobbed nervously and he glanced away, "Then ignoring me for the past two weeks like nothing even happened. And don't think I didn't understand your nastiness with the muggle-born first years being meant for me."

He looked at you then, eyes flicking between your own. His lips parted and then closed. A pink flash of tongue wet them, the fresh shine giving you thoughts of other ways he could use them.

Fuck, why was it so hard to be around him?

He sighed deeply, ran a hand through his hair, and then sat defeatedly on the bench behind him. You nearly asked if he was alright but held your ground.

"I-" He glanced at you before fixing his gaze on the tile, apparently the only way he could say whatever it was that was bothering him. "I don't hate you. And....and I'm sorry."

You stared at him hard, in shock. Had a Black ever said sorry in their lifetime? Sitting back down was the only response you could muster.

The corner of his mouth quirked like he understood your confusion before quickly resuming its downward position. The wrinkles already forming on either side made it clear he was used to the expression.

"Listen, I...I was embarrassed." He glanced at you quickly before looking away. "I'm....I've never...I had never..."

"You're a virgin?" The words left your mouth before you could stop them. He gave an almost imperceptible nod. What were you hearing right now? You had your suspicions but never in a million years did you think them to be true. Just looking at him, you couldn't process that no one had tried to get close enough to him to get him into bed.

Flashing back over the memory from the train, certain things began to jump out at you. His nervousness. How he thought you were in pain when you threw your head back in pleasure. The way he groaned into your shoulder when you....

"Holy shit, you came!" You didn't mean to practically yell it, your hand flying over your mouth.

His eyes were round saucers as he stared at you, cheeks growing impossibly red.

"Y/N, please..." The shine in his eyes made you freeze. "Please don't tell anyone."

You moved to sit beside him.

"Regulus, why would I tell anyone?" His head was in his hands now. He glanced over at you.

"What do you want?" You furrowed your brow in confusion. He studied your face for a moment. "You're not going to tell..." You shook your head, "So what do you want in return?"

"What?" You couldn't understand his thought process for a moment. Then it clicked. Everyone in his life always wanted something in return for treating him with decency. Nothing came free for him...

You had always been conflicted about Regulus. A shitty family can't totally excuse bad behaviour, but this...Merlin, fitting in with his family was about survival. Sirius had gotten out, sure, but you'd never heard anything about him trying to help Regulus. His only connection to a better, less hateful world had left him behind.

"Regulus," You slide your fingers into his, pulling his hand away from his face and into your lap. He looked at you and then away, obviously waiting for the other shoe to drop. "I don't want anything from you. I'm not going to tell anyone because that's our private business and no one else deserves to know. That's the least you deserve."

He glanced back at you, eyes flickering over the details of your face. His lips silently mimed 'our' and the corners of his mouth started to curve upwards.

You couldn't help it, all the tension from the past two weeks, the anger, and this loaded conversation, wore down your resolve. Plus, you were beginning to think maybe you didn't hate Regulus after all.

You kissed him, his lips just as soft and welcoming as on the train. He involuntarily moaned into your mouth and you smiled.

His fingers, impossibly gentle, ghosted over your exposed thigh. You angled yourself towards him and moved his hand around to your hip. He pulled away with a soft gasp, eyes searching your face.

"I don't know..."

You paused immediately, gripping his hand in yours and holding it chastely away from your body.

"We don't have to do anything, Reg. I want you to be comfortable."

He shook his head quickly, a smile like sunshine lighting his face and making your stomach flip. "No, I want to. Merlin, do I want to..." His thick brows knitted a cloud that cast a shadow over his face. "It's just...since I've never...I don't know how long I'm going to last. I mean, you didn't even touch me last time and..."

He looked to you shyly.

"Hey," You moved his hand back to your hip and his eyes tracked the movement, darkening as his skin made contact with the plump flesh just briefly covered by the band of your underwear. "We all have to start somewhere."

This time, he leaned in to connect your lips. You revelled in this subtle show of confidence and the way he flicked his tongue against yours.

"You're so beautiful," He whispered against your lips, his fingers teasing the edges of your underwear. "I've always thought so."

You pulled away enough to look into his eyes, realising suddenly that they were the deepest of blues, not black like you thought. He stared back, a nervous smile on his lips.

You studied his face. His lashes were thick like his brows, black and shadowy around his eyes. He had pinprick freckles over his nose and on the highest points of his cheeks. The bow of his lips was so perfectly formed you couldn't help but lean in to kiss him again.

He kissed back, more firmly this time. You felt the heat too, the urgency that was beginning to rise between you. His fingers dug into your hip and you sighed into his mouth in response. He took this as a good sign, moving his hand around to palm at your ass. You put your hand over his and squeezed so he'd grab you, not giving him the time to question as you slung one leg over his to straddle him.

He stared at you in awe and you felt the bulge in his pants harden further. You held his face in your hands, fingers spread over his cheeks, and ground your hips into him. His eyes rolled back with his head as he groaned out at the feeling.

"Is this okay?" You confirmed and his hands flew to your hips, gripping tightly.

"Merlin, yes," He just managed to slit his eyes to look at you, pupils blown so you could hardly see the rim of blue around them. You smirked down at him, keeping your eyes locked on his as you began to unzip his pants and pull him out of his boxers. He cursed as you gripped him in your hand, gently beginning to stroke him. "Fuck, I don't know that I'm even going to make it inside you, Y/N."

You laughed as he quirked his lips, smiling apologetically.

Deciding not to tease him any further, you slipped your underwear to the side and ran the head of his cock quickly through your dripping folds. Regulus cried out at the feeling but you swallowed the sound with your mouth, kissing him as you slowly lowered yourself onto him.

You moaned as his considerable girth stretched you out, his own sounds of pleasure already signalling that he was close. Rocking slowly against his hips, you focused on the friction of your clit rubbing against him. He gripped your hips so hard you were sure he'd leave bruises and you knew he was using all of his self control not to cum.

You quickened your pace and he gasped into your mouth. Pulling away, you moved your lips to his ear, giving a soft bite to shell of it. He groaned and his hands moved down to your thighs, still holding on like his life depended on it.

"Let go, Reg. I wanna hear how good it feels." You whispered into his ear. The flutter of your breath on his neck and the words you spoke sent him quickly careening over the edge.

"Fuck, Y/N!" He cried out, his head thrown back as his cock twitched inside of you with each thick stream of cum. You kissed along his exposed neck, slowing your movements as his quick, heavy breaths began to calm.

When he was nearly recovered, he raised his head to look at you, his cheeks flushed. He moved his hand between your bodies and rubbed his thumb over your clit, making you gasp.

"Shit, Reg, you don't-" He caught your lips in his, bucking his hips up gently as he rubbed generous circles on your clit. You moaned into him, his still-hard cock thrusting into you making the fire that already burned in your belly begin to spread.

He started to kiss your exposed chest, sucking at the skin of your breasts. When he began to soften inside you, he quickly replaced himself with the fingers of his other hand, working them faster until you were a cursing mess on top of him.

Momentarily abandoning your clit, he used his free hand to pull down half your bra, latching onto the exposed nipple with his tongue and bringing you to your breaking point.

You cried out his name as you rocked through your orgasm, falling onto him and trying to regain your breath once the waves of pleasure passed.

Finally, you pulled yourself up to look Regulus in the eyes. He smiled softly, cheeks still pink in pleasure.

His brows rose slightly, lips parting to expose a sliver of his perfect, white teeth. You moved off him and he quickly zipped himself up while you fixed your bra.

"So..." He began, nervous once again, his fingers playing with the sleeve of his sweater. "This doesn't mean anything, right?"

You stared at him in disbelief. What? His features began to darken, his eyes trained on the floor again.

"I can't...." He swallowed. "I can't be anything to you. I mean, my parents can't know. No one can know..." He trailed off softly.

"What?" You were growing angry. What did that mean? "God, Regulus, seriously? Since I'm not some close-minded, pureblood scumbag you can't be associated with me? Fuck off."

He stood quickly and moved towards you while you hurried to get dressed.

"Y/N, I can't. You don't understand-"

"I don't understand?"

"No, I've got...responsibilities. You don't-"

He cut himself off with a gasp as you stepped to him and yanked up his sleeve, revealing the offensive black ink branded into his skin. "What don't I understand, Regulus? I think it's perfectly clear. I don't fit into your tiny, fucked up world. You can't play the perfect Death Eater for mommy and daddy and fuck a dirty mudblood at the same time. Does that about sum it up?"

You stormed out before he could answer, ignoring the pain in your chest and the tears beginning to spill over onto your cheeks.

[transfem-tomboy-oni]

I feel like I should jjust give up on all my "good" qualities and stop trying to be a "good person" and fighting sgainst all my bad qualities. I. I start to feel like there's nothing good coming of it for me, and not enough good for anyone else to actually keep bothering with me.

I feel like the positive things I get told the most is that I'm nice, and that I'm beautiful.

But. Apparently I'm not enough of either for people to... stick around.

I don't know. Even now I don't know what to write. Cuz it might might people unhappy. But.

Maybe I'll try to let what I feel out, for just this once;

I do my fucking hardest, successfully too most of the time, to make people happy, to help them, to make them feel comfortable around me. Cuz all my life no ones ever done that for me. In school people gave no two shits about me, unless it was to make fun of me or get their homework done easier. FOR 9 DAMNED YEARS. Then I switched schools. I guess I had friends. Friends that, as soon as they were not forced to be in the same classroom as me either cut contact or essentially bullied me online. Since then I haven't made friends in person. My own mom has been there for me. As in. Provided for food, entertainment and ignoring my existence otherwise. I got hugged by her for the first time I can remember when I tried offing myself and telling her that I thought I wasn't worth anything and she didn't love me. She graced herself to hug me long enough so I stopped crying and then pushed me away and went back to watching TV alone telling me to go cuz SHE NEEDS A MOMENT. My dad is just inept. Nice. Trying his best. I guess. I used to see him once every 2 weeks, and we talked like 2 hours maybe, where he left me completely to myself otherwise. The person I had contact and an actual "friendship" with the longest eventually started using that friendship and manipulating and breaking apart my entire friend group to just fucking use me as his damned sex toy whenever he felt like it. And I didn't realize for what? 8 or more damned years. That friend group is now so splintered and fucked that I don't even know what the fuck to do about it. Do I still want them? Do they still want me? Pretty sure they don't enjoy me around anymore tbh. Newest friends I made are from therapy or from tumblr, and it's like 5 people in total, 1 if which I haven't talked to in 2 months as I assume she doesn't give a shit about me anymore, at least not that I could tell. And I still really really damned like her but I wish I fucking didn't cuz it's fucking tearing me apart. I suppose I got used to her being there for me and when she wasn't when I was at 2 of my absolute lowest points my mind just broke or something idk. 2 of them I met in therapy and one of them is nice but doesn't have time, which is okay but also annoying to be honest, but it's not her fault I suppose, and the other ignores me whenever she can. The newest 2 ppls I met are nice but I feel like they either are scared of me, I guess at this point rightfully so or don't actually care.

I keep saying that I'm not super likeable when you stick around me for too long and everyone always tells me they don't think so but somehow the only people that seem to have sticked around for years either did cuz they had no choice or in one case because they didn't actually like me and just enjoyed my body.

So. My honest feelings, no one actually cares about making me happy. I want to be treated the way I try my hardest to treat everyone else. I. I'm tired of having and making friends. I can't bear it. I can't bear being alone either. I have been for too long. I. I want this to end, not my life, just this this this dambed conflict of everything. I feel such conflicting things. I'm trying my hardest to make things right for everyone. And I feel like I am not getting enough back to even keep me going until 30.

Love is conditional. And I don't think I am capable of meeting these conditions. Besides all my hatred for how I'm being treated. I still only blame one person. Myself. For just not being good enough.

I wasn't wanted in this world. I was conceived on accident. And I feel that in the way my mother treats me.

But I hoped that maybe someone else doesn't.

Maybe I'll be able to hold on long enough until I can find someone that does want me. Maybe.

I hold so much hope. For such a hopeless person. Such a hopeless world. I wish I could give up.

[wildflower-otome]

[Translation] 9 R.I.P. - Koharu - Heavenly Ending After Story

Source: 9 R.I.P. Stella Set Special Bonus Booklet Note: Major Spoilers for Koharu's Heavenly End below.

Our Beginning - Koharu Heavenly End After Story

Driven out from my village, I became a spirit that existed only for her—

My thoughts were preoccupied with plans for the future.

.....So that I could make Misa happy, I needed to become someone she could rely on. Not in the same way as I had up until now, as a spirit, it was best that I now live out my days as a human.

First, I had to look for a job. After that, I needed to find an apartment....

Luckily, I hadn't lost my abilities as a spirit. There should be no problem with me taking human form and living in society.

In actuality, although they were rare, there were other spirits who also did the same, living their everyday lives while pretending to be human. That said, such spirits usually ended up ostracized by spirit society, although that didn’t really bother me.

— As such thoughts ran through my mind, Misa made an appearance.

‘Koharu-san, you’re early today. It’s still 10 minutes until we were supposed to meet.’

‘'Could say the same about you.’

Misa and I had an outing planned for today, we were going to take the train to visit her older sister Tsubasa’s workplace.

Apparently, her sister was going to help her pick out some clothes.

‘Hey, wouldn’t it be easier if I didn’t go? I’ll just get in the way.’

‘Nothing of the sort. Not to mention, I’ve already told Tsubasa that you’re coming.’

‘S'pose it should be fine then.’

‘Alright then, let’s go. Before we head to the station though —here, take this.’

‘…..What’s with the card??’

‘Using this card will get you through the ticket gate at the station. Basically, you can use it in place of a ticket…..’

—With this simple explanation, I now understood.

‘Then, that means the ticket fare is already stored in this?’ 

‘Exactly. Convenient, isn’t it?’

‘Yeah, sure is…..’

.....Even now I was putting a burden on Misa.

‘What is it?’

‘.....Actually, I was thinking of getting a job.’

‘Huh?’

‘That way I can earn money and save for the future.....Someday I’d like for us to live together. Of course, I would make sure to go and see your family again when the time comes. .....You get what I mean by that?’

Her face bright red, Misa smiled happily.

‘I’m glad. You really are thinking of the future.’

‘’Course I am. Right now, I’m a burden to you, but eventually I want to be a proper support to you. So, until then, I'm sorry, but—’

‘Please don’t think that way. It’ll be the two of us living together in the future, so it’s not a question of either of us being a burden.’

 ‘......Heh-, you’re right there.’

It was exactly this sort of thing that I liked about her. Well, that among a whole lot of other things.

‘Speaking of which, I might take up a profession similar to yours.’

‘Ah, you mean like a chef or something like that?’

‘Yeah, something along those lines. Guess you could say it’s a dream of mine.’

‘.....With you as a chef, Koharu-san, and me as a pâtissier.....wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could open up a restaurant together one day?’

‘I like the sound of that.’

In the future that she imagined; I was there along with her—

That alone made my heart feel full.

.....Now that I thought about it, this might be the very first time I had envisioned the future.

‘Alright, let’s get going.’

Taking Misa’s hand as she stood beside me, we began to walk.

Misa squeezed my hand back.

The simplicity of this happiness lit a warmth in my chest.

.....I love you, Misa.

Too embarrassed to say it out loud, I whispered the words in my heart.

I could only hope that she understood how I felt.

[ninjago-fa-story]

Ninjago FA Prequel: Restart Chapter 5: Past Life

Life's been going great recently, asides from the fact that I can physically feel Cruz's absence within my body. I do have the full element, but I also possess the one part that once belonged to him, which is something my body is not used to. This would not be too much of a problem if he were around, but he isn't. All I can do at the moment is to wait it out, which I know will happen eventually, if given time. Aniela sure knows how to take care of me in a way it makes me feel comfortable, I felt better in just about 3-and-a-half weeks.

It was one of those days where Aniela and I just sit and chat for a while, joined by Bethany and Liberty. I may not have existed in this timeline until recently, but most of the events I knew of still happened, minus the serpentine war. Take Liberty as an example: Her personality is the same as the one I got used to; bubbly, energetic and never sitting still. Her jokes are just as bad, but still amusing nonetheless. Today, she has been showing me Polaroids of her husband, whom she just recently got married to, the same guy she married in my time, except that it happened a lot sooner, around 15 years ago. Everything takes its time I guess, and who knows, maybe that will cause fate to play out differently, too.

Chatting with her felt somewhat comforting, this entire restart does, to be honest. "You know, Cliff is a very talented actor, and an even better husband. He is always right by my side when I wake up, softly smiling during his sleep. I can tell he is just as happy with me than I am with him. We truly are soulmates." The way she was talking about him made me wonder how they ended up so driven apart. For all I know, she went as far and abandoned her own child after leaving him. This was the first time I genuinely felt sorry for a fate I don't have anything to do with, it's not like I could have avoided it. Even if I would have tried, the chances of him believing me are almost equal to zero. In the end, knowing the truth may not actually help, but worsen the situation completely. I wish I could just disappear like this. No sorrow. No sadness. No painful memories. Just nothing. I wish I could just disappear and make all the terrible things that happened because of me come undone. Everyone would be a lot happier without me. I caused immense pain. My life just doesn't matter…

"Hey Adonis, are you alright? You seem to be quite shaken up by something…" Whatever it was that she said, it brought me back to reality right away. Her gentle and motherly voice gave me a feeling of safety, yet I was able to feel that something bothers her. It is I who was the reason. "Sorry for being a burden to you..." I swallowed a big chunk of air, not really knowing how to put it. As soon as these words left my mouth, an uncomfortable sensation ran down spine, knowing that I probably won the lottery with them. But the truth couldn't be any further from my expectation. "Oh heavens! You aren't a burden, dear! I am actually quite glad to have a roommate like you, it was ways to quiet before you moved in! Besides, I really like taking care of you, because I know you would do the same thing for me. Well, at least I hope so. I want to show you that not every person you meet always wishes you the worst."

My body felt achy and cold, yet so stiff and warm at the same time. My breath got pretty unstable just thinking of the heavy weight I put on others, but Aniela's soft hand on my shoulder calmed my mind down enough for me to snap back into reality. I was not alone, and I certainly won't be ever again. "Your life is what you make of it. Nobody can tell you what to do. You are not someone else's puppet, you are you. I know what you have been going through and I can tell you are happy to be free, but don't let the past control your future." "For once I feel like I can finally be happy and start a new life. It's one of my biggest dreams come true, but I have lost everything once before, I don't want it to happen again." Aniela remained silent the entire time, just sitting there to offer me comfort. Even Liberty decided to help by bringing me a glass of water. To be honest, that was something I have always appreciated about her, she is always friendly and tries to help wherever she can. It was a trait I learned to appreciate in the previous timeline, that apparently didn't change in this one. The four of us decided to have a sleepover tonight, just like real friends do, throwing me back to a time long ago.

---

"Hey Acronix, may I come in? I am somewhat lonely all by myself." "I thought we aren't supposed to be in other people's rooms... But I will allow it. The others cannot expect us to stay all by ourselves the entire time, can't friends stay over at another friend's place? Besides, we have always trusted each other."

"I guess. It's just that Kōri is neighboring my room and the walls are kind of thin... His room is so cold, that I need two heaters to keep mine somewhat warm. And your brother snores." "I know. He just sleeps badly, that's all. You should get used to it after a while."

Neither of the two were able to properly sleep that night, so they decided to beat time by playing some board games. As hours went by, even more Elemental Masters decided joining the late-night game session, and soon the entire monastery gathered around a game of Hazard. Despite the initial dissatisfaction stemming from Wu and Garmadon, even they did not mind, despite the training planned for the next day. They figured that a day of wouldn't hurt anybody, as long as they are prepared for what's to come. it was the first time in the History of the Elemental Alliance that every single member engages in a single action.

All except for one. Krux was unable to sleep, just like his brother has suspected. He instead paced around the Monastery, blocking out the laughter and conversations that originated from a single spot. He tries fighting it for a while, but it gets increasingly strenuous the longer he tries. Maybe it is just best to give in and let his mind consume him, it will surface sooner or later anyways, it's better willingly than forcefully.

"Brother! What are you doing here? I heard steps and had no idea you were awake. Maybe you want to join us? We are playing Hazard. Looks like Bhāra is winning though."

"What are you guys doing?! You know the Serpentine are on the rise! It's our duty to protect this world! We can't be prepared if we are playing games all night! We need to be well-rested to be able to fight. Don't forget that, Adonis." "The world is not just about fighting, brother! Where is the fun in that? I would prefer not having to, anyways. Why aren't you happy that we don't have to focus on a potential war for one second?" "It might start sooner than you think! Don't be irresponsible!" "We are only 17, Cruz. All our life it has just been about the protection of this world, how to use our powers in battle and how to avoid being killed. I want something else. I want that carefree teenage-hood everyone keeps talking about. And don't forget what you have done, either. You can be glad i didn't tell anyone that you are the one responsible for their deaths. You live for the fight, which is exactly what padre has warned us about. Don't think we can win a fight just because we have Elemental Powers, using them to much can cause disaster. No matter what power, there is always a risk." "Don't come with padre, Adonis! He isn't here anymore, and he is certainly not coming back, either. Don't you dare talking about him ever again! I told you millions of times that it was another me who is responsible for all this. How dare you think that I wanted to kill them." Krux snapped at his brother in such a loud voice that even the other Elemental Masters got alarmed about the situation, making their way to the battleground. The older brother quickly got a hold of the younger's throat, almost suffocating him to death, just before throwing him against the nearby door, which gave in under the pressure. Adonis was back on his feet just as quickly, unsuccessfully attempting to calm his brother down. Cruz grabbed a nearby sword, pointing it towards his brother, who received a fairly deep cut in the process. Right on his cheek. "I don't want to fight. I never did... I just want my brother back!" "There is no brother anymore, weakling. It's just me, your biggest FEAR!" Acronix swiftly ran back outside to where the other Elementals were standing, getting Bhāra to hold the other back in place. The twin struggled to free himself from the invisible force, but once he did, he just plummeted to the floor, drained from all his energy. "What... just happened? Why am I... here...? Brother? Is that you?" The Time Elemental had no clue about what to say, he just ran over to his brother to embrace him in a hug.

Krux was locked up in his room after that. Every single Elemental Master lost their trust after what has happened. Even if it was true that Krux was just a vessel for something greater, that thing is out to cause harm, they can't risk letting it lose. However, it never resurfaced and Krux was out to slowly re-socialize again. The others couldn't quite recognize their friend, he has really changed since. The older Time Elemental really tried his best, which made the others very happy. Acronix's wound has healed up fast, thanks to some minor use of his own Elemental Power, but the scar will probably forever stay where it is now. The recent battle has left an emotional trauma that keeps Acronix up at night. There is just so much about it that his mind cannot comprehend. "Hey Liberty, I once again have a restless night. Can I stay at your place? I don't want to be alone." "Heh, guess you are asking me for advice after last time. Want to talk about it?" "I am just worried about my brother. He is acting weirdly nice over the past few weeks. While he is probably just trying his best to regain our trust again, i can't help but wonder if it even him doing all this. What if it is just FEAR acting as him? I hope so much that it is the first case, I really don't want to lose him, he is all I have ever since he ki- our parents died. I really miss them, but knowing that my brother is around eases the pain a little. Well, it did until now. Now I am just scared about anything that could potentially happen at some point in time. I am genuinely terrified just thinking about it. I wish these two strangers never came into our lives, they ruined him. They ruined everything. I know I swore of fighting to the best of my abilities, but it these two men ever cross our paths again, I will coldly end their lives without hesitation. They don't deserve life. They took the only people I ever knew to love, they deserve to get the same fate. Maybe then I can finally be at peace. Maybe then that thing will finally leave my brother at peace. I WANT THIS PAIN TO JUST STOP!" "He killed them. didn't he?" Acronix just quietly nodded, keeping his head low, eyes pointed at the ground. Liberty did the only right thing and embraced the male, who was clearly shaken up by the current conversation. There was nothing but pain and fear within his head, so much so that he has difficulties to handle them sometimes. His friend's act of kindness released those worries, however. There was absolutely nothing but her steady heartbeat and her calm breathing and for just a short period of time, there was absolutely nothing inside his mind.

[piscesnpieces]

lullabies for the woeful, and the words that seem to follow

Sometimes I wonder about dying.

I am not a particularly sad person. I have people who love me. I have people who will be willing to give half their all just to pour into my dripping glass. In simple terms, I am not alone. But sometimes, I am lonely, and being lonely makes you wonder about things you would never think about on the regular. Like dying. 

I’m not exactly afraid to die. Every organism dies at one point. It’s an undisputable fact that governs the living. To me, dying is a certain type of peace. Religion divides the world with the concept of an afterlife. But for the physical, carbon-based structure of a man, lying 6-feet down deep without any worry of the world is peace. Still, I do not long for it, at least not yet. 

Someone asked me before what I feared most, if not death. I didn't have a direct answer. For most of my life, everything that triggered my adrenaline, I got through. Should I still consider that a fear? I didn't think so. Is fear of God counted? That’s debatable. However, as more people asked, I began to worry for an answer. What did I fear most? It wasn't anything too shocking, I found out. I feared being lonely. I thought it was autophobia—the fear of being alone—but for most of my life, I never was. Yet I still feared. I discovered I could get lonely, easily, despite company. Even God forgives, loneliness does not. The thought made me anxious. 

Having fear gives you two options: you fight it head on, or you get away. In this case though, the former is the sole answer. And after fighting each outburst head on, you learn to hit back. You learn how to maneuver each swing, how to analyze the fear and set aside your emotion. Fear then materializes into an existing, rational enemy—and you learn to win. But every win comes at a cost. Each time you encounter your fear, it takes something from you. Every drip of happiness you kept in a bottle spills. You win the battle, but the longer it gets to overcome the multiple bouts in the ring, your fists become exhausted, until your limbs eventually also leave you with no other option to take. Then I wonder if life would likewise follow. 

I guess I'm an asshole. The glee I collect from the people around me, it keeps me afloat. I think it's safe to say I used them. Sometimes loving and taking advantage blurs in the periphery, and I can only try and be less of the asshole I already am. 

Loneliness finds a way, even with people around. They might not say, or they might not notice, but when fear consumes, I take more than what they give, until they can't give me any more before theirs turn empty, then I leave and take from another. Until when can they pour so that my glass never empties? I get anxious and vexed. But what can I do? I still want to survive. So I apologize, for being selfish. Don't worry, though. Sometimes I'd rather not take, or bother, or hurt. Then I would wonder about tipping over, spilling everything that’s left. I wonder what it will be like to let go.

This fear— it trips my mind. Sometimes I look for people to mask the lonely. Sometimes, despite people, it couldn't help but show. Still, I want to believe that I'll survive. I only wonder, I never want. People have been rather too kind and I'm grateful. I answer by fighting back. Until then, I ask, for at least one to keep my glass filled. I can't afford to go empty.

[jgcm2003]

episode five- here

At some point in the past nineteen years, somebody must’ve introduced me to the saying No matter where you go, there you are. 

Although I have no clue as to when I heard it or even who said it, it’s a proverb I find myself thinking of from time to time. A valuable thing to remember when I want to ditch everything I know (And sometimes hate) and live in some cabin somewhere alone, far away from everyone. I find myself thinking as if some shack in Wyoming or Maine will solve every problem I have— as if movies like Into the Wild didn’t end with Christopher McCandless starving to death inside of some abandoned bus. 

A few weeks ago, my mom nonchalantly mentioned that her dad was sick and it didn’t look good. When he passed a few days later, I was out with my friends. She didn’t text or call to let me know, and when I arrived home she was watching TV as she usually is when I walk through the door. She asked how my friends were, what we did, and if I had fun. I asked if she made dinner, which she had. Then, she adjusted herself to face me a bit more. “My dad died.” 

I asked if she was OK, to which she shrugged and said “Yeah I’m alright.” 

She asked if I was alright, and I was. 

I sat with her for a little while, but Chopped was paused on the TV screen and it seemed like she kind of just wanted to go back to watching that. There wasn’t a whole lot of stuff to talk about when it came to my grandfather after all. He was the last grandparent I had left, but he may as well have been gone as well. I have very vague memories of time spent in the house he shared with his second wife — The blue wallpaper, the big square kitchen, the faint smell of cigarettes. I was very young—way too young to grasp the complexity of his relationship with my mom. His wife was kind, she knit me a blanket once and I still have it to this day. When I was around seven, she would die, and it’s as if he went with her in a way.

It’s from there he would find his third wife and move to an extremely remote part of Canada. Far away from my mom, her siblings, and his stepkids. He had left them once through a divorce when my mom was fourteen, and I knew it hurt my mom a lot. Here he was, leaving her and their relationship behind again. I was way too young to understand the ramifications of this. After he moved, I’d see him every couple of years and it remained that way. He’d send me $50 every year around my birthday and Christmas, and although I’d comply when my mom asked me to thank him, he never responded. His existence to me, his grandson, was essentially a $100 a year salary and 45 minutes every few years when he was in the area. 

When I ask my mom about him, she says the same eerily indifferent thing every time;  

“I lost my father a long time ago.” 

It makes me wonder about responsibility, and really getting away from it. It makes me think of the saying I’ve had on my mind for a while in a new light. Yes, No matter where you go, there you are, and that sucks for you. But no matter where you go, the lives you’ve touched remain affected by your absence until eventually, they learn to live with the pain that is your absence. And then, once you’re nothing to the people who once loved you, I wonder if you can really be much of anything at all. 

So yes, I guess we could get as far away as humanly possible from what's burdening us. It wouldn’t bother us when we’re thousands of miles away. But I think in doing that, we willingly run away from what makes us, us. And our absence will leave a lot of unnecessary pain in our wake. 

A part of me doesn’t really blame my grandfather because a piece of me can sympathize with it. But I look at my mother, my sister, and my friends and I can’t imagine life without them. Things can be stressful, but it’s my moral responsibility to be there for them regardless of how difficult things can be. I love these people, and there’s no other place where I could be loved like I am here. So it’s worth it for me.

[dex-starr]

Sometimes I sit here and wonder if I did deserve better and if what happened was just something that needed to happen to show me certain things, but that’s just me trying to justify things I think. I knew what the warning signs were — I knew what certain actions meant when they happened and I knew when I wasn’t being told exactly what was going through their mind or going on but I didn’t really like put much thought into the why. I always figured they will tell me/change some things when they’re more comfortable. Especially since you know… they had been through shit like me. It’s not like I didn’t have things that were bad that I didn’t do/did do. I totally did, I had my reasons to and they were most likely wrong — not saying I was ever right in doing so but it was not their fault that I couldn’t tell them. I had just been through a metric fuckton of things in previous relationships too.

Genuinely I don’t know how to take their actions after things were over — I don’t understand it really and maybe people just love differently or maybe our feelings were just that different from each other who knows. Maybe we both just grieve very differently. I don’t fucking know, I just know that I’m tired. I’ve been through a lot and things just keep happening haha. I know I am a tough fucker when it comes to dealing with things — I just pretend to be whiny when it’s physical pain as a joke. (Until it was actually not a joke and everything just fucking hurt for some reason woooo). Normally I just don’t express that I’m hurting physically or emotionally though bc I just don’t want to trouble people. I guess it’s why I’m just so vocal here though like I can express it and it doesn’t bother anyone and nobody rly has to check up on it. It can just exist on an island as a means to catharsis eventually

[himedanshilaunching]

Ah, I see. I hid your reblog, @kafkaoftherubble because it's openly spoiling things. Please be considerate of others and use line breaks to hide spoilers. But, I can respond to it, at least.

Slitterhead spoilers below:

First, let me address the Rarities you're unfamiliar with.

Anita is obtained in Missing Girl RE (2nd Loop). Failing to save her in Missing Girl is the trigger for Night Owl reverting the timeline the first time. On the 2nd Loop version, she's already left the night club. After that, it plays put pretty much the same, but Night Owl gets there just soon enough to possess her.

Edo is from a hidden side objective on the 2nd Loop version of the first mission, Lurking Parasite. There's a dog Night Owl can possess, and following the trail the dog can smell leads to a Slitterhead's hunting grounds with Edo there.

Blake just... kind of shows up on the conversation screen after a mission. It's the only character you get this way, and it feels like there was probably cut content where you would have gotten him.

Second, I posted that link to someone else's translations, but here's a summary of what we know from them. I've tried to mention it whenever something is mostly speculation on my part.

In the time Night Owl comes from, humanity is on the brink of extinction due to monsters referred to as Yakshi. Night Owl escapes from Kowlong (!!!) and eventually finds a(n underground?) shelter city named Lotus Bud, where about 1000 humans live. Their food production machines have failed, however. A man named Duncan Dursley arrives . He proposes the Angel's Ladder plan, involving a device called the Ladder. The Ladder sends human consciousnesses (called Entities) back in time as information to overwrite humans from the past in hopes that they will then be able to prevent the threat of the Yakshi. However, the Entities are too weak to attach to human minds and instead take over more primitive creatures. I'm sure you can guess where this is going. The Entities go through a cycle of predation, consuming and taking over larger and larger prey until they have completely forgotten why they so desperately desire human brains. Thereby they have become the very Yakshi they sought to stop, or as we know them, Slitterheads.

During this time, Night Owl was imprisoned as a traitor due to detracting from Duncan Dursley's ideas. So he was the only human in Lotus Bud that wasn't sent back. Except, Duncan Dursley's body is nowhere to be found. Eventually, an Entity known as Omega emerges from the Ladder and syncs with Night Owl. They use the Ladder to send themselves back in time as a single intermingled Entity and disperse themselves throughout the collective consciousness of the city, instead of trying to overwrite a specific thing. This is why Night Owl can do what Night Owl can do, why they're so confused initially, and why they didn't become Slitterheads. I believe this is also why the Alpha and Omega timelines exist - each Hyoki is one half of the joint Alpha & Omega Entity.

Finally, the thing is, the SPEU know about the timeline being distorted in Kowlong. They build the initial Ladder device based on the issues with time in Kowlong, and successfully use it to send information backwards in time. I think this is how the SPEU already know about Category M (slitterheads), Category C (the tube monsters), and Unique Target F, "FLUID", aka Night Owl & Leopard Head.

So I think it's likely the SPEU already has or is actively developing Ladder technology. Once time travel is involved, all future knowledge can be present knowledge, and that would let their R&D efforts become explosively rapid.

I also think that Duncan Dursley is probably part of the SPEU. Though he could be a member of the SPEU further in the future, like you say.

Maybe it's obvious enough to not bother mentioning, but between thr shelter city being named Lotus Bud, the time loop, the Slitterheads being named Yakshi, and people taking over the bodies of animals, I think it's pretty clear there's a lot of Buddhist cycle of reincarnation themes happening.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()(

Your ask box... has a new voice... Could it be...? Alas, it is an unknown, unnamed Hyoki! It has found another Rarity.....'s inbox!!! And it said,

()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()(()()(

Slitterhead random ask!

Tis' such a shame that not enough people are celebrating this game, so the rest of us gotta make our own fun!

Your favorite character(s) in the entire game!

Your favorite character to use in combat! (This is if your answer for no. 1 doesn't cover this aspect)

You turn out to be a Rarity! What sort of blood weapon will you manifest? Doesn't have to be restricted to the types shown in the game so far.

What were you most likely doing when a Slitterhead found you/the Hyoki possessed you? (Ironically, playing video games?)

What is the one thing you wish this game could feature or improve on? Say, imagine it getting a remaster. (Ex: "I wish they'll have fully voiced lines!")

If this game gets a sequel, what plot beats or stories would you most like to see explored?

()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()

That's... all...

()()()()()()()()()()()( And then the Hyoki disappeared! For now.

Immediate and major Slitterhead spoilers below:

I suppose my favorite character is probably Lisa. Top-tier sicko for the sake of being a sicko. In a way, she's the perfect partner for Alex. Or maybe she makes Alex into a perfect partner for her. She's definitely got horny vibes about making Alex "darker" and "dirtier".

I use Julee in virtually every mission I can, but she's functionally required thanks to Compassion. Hrm. I guess, regretably, it's Blake? Blake is a lot like Alex, combat-wise, but is easier to use, and Lv. 3 Bloody Gamble is probably the most useful Skill 3 to have on regular humans.

My blood weapon? I'm not much of a self-insert person, but I'd like to see something with wider range available, so maybe a whip styled after a wired mouse? I might also just be saying that because I've played a lot of Castlevania recently.

Statisitically speaking, I was found getting attacked by a slitterhead in a back alley with a locked fence in front of it.

For improvements to Slitterhead... Wider enemy variety. A lot of time gets spent fighting seahorse-head partial slitterheads. Given how combat-focused the late-game becomes, it can be pretty same-y.

If there's a Slitterhead sequel, I think there are a few clear things gestured towards in the Hyoki Memories. Mainly, we never meet Duncan Dursley at all. I'm fairly certain that Night Owl is Doni, and Doni's very young, so it'll be a while before Duncan Dursley is relevant. We don't know who the Leopard Head / Omega half of the Hyoki is, either. I don't know that I want a sequel, though. The "Night Owl and Leopard Head are locked in eternal battle and humanity is already inescapably doomed" status quo is locked down pretty hard by the ending. Keiichiro Toyama loves this kind of thing.

[cicimunson]

Release

Summary: You’re attacked by a demodog. Steve and Dustin come to your rescue, and Steve offers to let you spend the night at his place since you’re scared and processing what’s happened. You’re both too wound up to sleep, looking for a way to burn off the adrenaline. 

Characters/Pairing: Steve Henderson x Female Reader, (Dustin Henderson mentioned in passing)

Word Count: 1.8k

Warnings: Smutty smut smut. I guess a little angst? Y/N is trying to come to terms with all the spooky stuff and feels bad for Steve because it’s all just another day for him.

“Thanks for letting me stay the night, Steve.”

He nods. “I get it. I don’t want to be alone tonight, either.”

It had been a rough day. Hell, it had been a rough week. You were attacked by a demodog, something you didn’t even know existed until now. Luckily, Steve and Dustin had come to your rescue. Then, Dustin had sat you down and explained everything. You didn’t believe him at first, but you knew deep down that something had been wrong in Hawkins for a long time. His story was the only one that made sense.

“Do you need something to wear, or?” Steve asks

“I usually just sleep in my t-shirt and underwear. If that’s okay.”

“Sure, sure. Go ahead and get in bed. I won’t look.”

You tug off your jeans and unhook your bra, then crawl into the bed, pulling the covers up. “I’m good.”

He turns back around. “Do you want me to sleep under a different blanket?”

“I’m fine. I can’t believe you were gonna sleep on the floor for me.”

“Of course. You’ve had a hell of a shock today. Anything to make you more comfortable.”

“Thank you.”

“I usually just wear my boxers, is that going to bother you? I have pajama pants somewhere.”

You shake your head. “No, it’s fine. I’m not bothered.” You turn your head away.

“Do you want me to leave the lights on?”

“No, I’ll be okay.”

A few seconds later he slips into bed with you.

You automatically reach for his hand. He intertwines his fingers with you and sighs.

“I’m really sorry that you had to find out about all this. I know how scary it can be.”

“You don’t seem scared. You fought that thing like it was nothing.”

“Yeah, well, I’m kind of used to it now. When I first found out about this stuff, I was terrified. I guess I just got used to it over time.”

“I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a sad thing.” You admit. “It’s kind of heartbreaking that this is just your version of normal.”

“It is what it is.” He shrugs. “I’m here for you, you know. I’ll protect you.”

“Thank you, Steve. For everything.”

He gives your fingers a squeeze. “Try to sleep.”

You nod. “Goodnight.”

Almost an hour later you’re still laying there wide awake. Your heart is racing. You feel like your whole body is humming. There’s way too much going on in your head for you to sleep.

You sigh and Steve notices.

“Can’t sleep?”

“No. My brain won’t shut down.”

“I understand. It’s all the adrenaline. It’ll burn off.”

“Do you have trouble sleeping after days like this? You’re still awake.”

“No, after the first couple of times I started sleeping better. It’s just hard in the beginning.”

“So why are you awake tonight? Am I keeping you up?”

“No, just didn’t have a chance to relax before bed.”

You turn to look at him. “I’m sorry. I’m cramping your style, huh?”

“I don’t mind.” He reassures you.

“I feel bad that you can’t sleep because of me. If you need to do whatever you normally do to sleep, I don’t mind.”

He makes a choking sound. “Um, no. I’m good.”

“No, really, I don’t mind. I usually listen to music before bed, or read a book. If you need the light, it won’t bother me.”

“Y/N, trust me. It’s better if I don’t.”

“Is it embarrassing? Do you dance or something?”

“Jesus, Y/N, I jerk off, okay?” He blurts.

Your mouth drops open. “Oh.”

“Yeah.” Is all he says.

“I could always go downstairs for a little bit. I’m scared to be alone but if I took your bat or-”

“No, I’m not forcing you to be alone and scared so I can rub one out, Y/N.” He objects. “Look, I’m fine. I’ll fall asleep eventually.”

You lay quiet beside him for a few minutes while he tosses and turns.

I mean, I wouldn’t object to him jerking off beside me. Especially if it means he’ll get some rest.

“Steve?”

“Mhmm?”

“You can…um, you can do it.”

“Do what?”

“You know. Your adrenaline burner.”

“What?”

“I mean, I’m not gonna look or anything. You can do what you gotta do.”

“Are you serious?”

“Yeah, I don’t mind.”

“I don’t wanna do anything that would make you uncomfortable.”

“I promise, it’s fine. You’re not gonna bother me.”

“You’re sure?”

“I’m sure.”

“Um, okay then.”

You roll facing away from him. You feel the covers rustle and shut your eyes.

You can’t help but picture what Steve is doing behind you. He lets out a little grunt and you feel your stomach muscles clench.

“Steve?”

“Sorry, am I being too loud?”

“Uh, no you’re fine. I wanted to ask, do you think it would help me if I did the same thing? Touched myself, I mean.”

“Uh, yeah, it probably would. I mean, it always relaxes me.”

“Would you mind if I did it, then? I promise I’ll be quiet and not bother you.”

He groans. “I definitely don’t mind.”

You roll on your back and slip a hand down your shorts, running your fingers over your clit. You’re already wet from Steve’s little moans.

“Are you doing it?” He asks breathlessly.

“Yeah.”

“What are you doing?”

“Um, rubbing myself.”

“Your clit?”

“Yeah.”

“Are you gonna do more?”

“Hmm?”

“Are you gonna put your fingers in?”

“Oh, um, yeah. I usually start with my clit and then start fucking my fingers.”

“Fuck.” He moans.

“What about you?”

“Me?”

“What are you doing?”

“I’m jerking off. I’ve got one hand massaging my balls and I’m stroking myself with the other.”

“Oh. Does it feel good?”

“”Mhmm. What about you? Does it feel good?”

“Yeah.” 

You both fall silent once more. You slip a finger in your pussy and let out a low groan.

“It’s so hot under this blanket.” Steve murmurs.

“Yeah, it is.”

“Do you want me to take it off us?”

“Um, yeah, you can. I don’t care.”

He pushes the blanket down to the end of the bed.

You slip another finger inside you and moan.

“Are you fingering yourself? He asks. “Don’t worry, I can’t see anything in the dark.”

“Yeah, I am.”

“How many fingers?”

“Two.”

“Can you take more?”

“I don’t know. I usually just do two.”

“Try to add another.” He encourages.

You fit another digit in. “Ohhh.”

“Feel good?”

“Yeah.”

You can hear his hand moving up and down as he fists himself and pumps.

“Are you close?” You ask.

“Not yet. I’m getting there. You?”

“Yeah, getting there.”

“You should play with your nipples. I hear it helps.”

“I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“I have one hand fingering me and the other is rubbing my clit.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“Do you want me to do it?”

“What?”

“I can play with your nipples. I don’t mind.”

“Yeah. That’d be okay.”

He reaches across the bed and pushes your shirt up, cupping your tit.

You let out a whimper as he teases your nipple, pinching it gently and tugging.

“That feels really good.” You whisper. 

“I’m glad.”

“I feel like I should be doing something for you.” You giggle.

“I mean, you can. If you want.”

“What should I do?”

“Do you wanna kiss my neck? I really like that.”

“Sure. Come closer.”

He moves so that your sides are touching. You find his neck in the darkness and start peppering small kisses across his skin.

“Fuck. That’s good.”

You lick him, then bite down.

“Oh, Jesus. Oh fuck, Y.N.”

His hand slips from your tit and trails down your stomach.

“Steve…”

“Let me touch you. Please.”

Like I’m gonna say no to that.

“Okay.”

He pushes your hand away and starts rubbing your clit.

“Mmm.” You start moving your hips more.

“That’s hot.” He mumbles. “Fuck, this is so hot.”

You couldn’t agree more. You’re burning up. His fingers rubbing your clit, knowing that he was pumping his cock while touching you, it was intoxicating.

You take his hand and push it lower. “Finger me.”

“Fuck, are you sure?”

“Please.”

He slides two fingers into you easily.

You moan and roll your hips, clamping down on his hand.

“Jesus.” He grunts. His hand starts and stops a few times.

“You good?”

“Yeah, just hard to focus on jerking off and fingering you at the same time.”

“Let me help.” You reach over and take his dick in your hand.

“Oh, fuck.” He moans. “Just like that.”

You do like he said, massaging his balls with one hand and stroking him with the other.

“Spit in your hand, please.”

You take it one step further and shift in the bed, then spit on his dick.

“Oh my God. Do that again.” He pleads.

You spit once more and he whimpers.

“Fuck, baby, do you wanna suck it for me? Please.”

You lick his head.

His hips shoot off the bed. “Fuck. FUCK.”

You suck him down your throat, taking as much as you can.

He’s a mess above you, panting and cursing under his breath. He grabs your hair, groaning.

“I’m gonna cum. I’m gonna cum.” He moans.

You keep sucking. His thrusts become sloppy and he lets out a strangled moan, then collapses back on the bed as he shoots his load in your mouth.

You quickly swallow it and lay back in the pillows, fingering yourself furiously.

“Let me, let me.” He slides his fingers back inside you and shifts, easing himself between your legs. He instantly finds your clit and starts licking, then sucks it gently.

“Oh God, Steve. Fuck.”

You can feel him smiling against your cunt as he continues sucking and licking.

You arch your back and whimper. He curves his fingers and strokes your upper wall.

You fall apart. Your body unwinds quickly and you yell out as you come, gasping and panting.

There’s spots in your vision and you blink them away. You can hear your heartbeat in your ears.

Steve stretches out on the bed beside you and tugs you under his arm.

“You okay?”

“I’m just trying to breathe normally again.”

He chuckles. “You and me both, babe.”

“I’m definitely relaxed now.”

“Me, too.” He tugs the blanket back over the two of you.

“Think you can get some rest now?” You ask.

“Maybe. If not, do you wanna try again?”

You giggle. “Sure, but let’s try to sleep first.”

He kisses your forehead. You snuggle into him and close your eyes.

Not even five minutes go by before he’s nuzzling into your neck.

“I can’t sleep.” He mumbles.

“Fuck it, me either.”

[imagineyourworld]

Truth or Dare

Rex x Genderneutral!Reader

Summary: A few members of the 501st play Truth or Dare and they may or may not get closer to uncovering a secret you and their Captain have been hiding

Warnings: Mention of sex, probably inaccurate Togruta anatomy (let’s just pretend their ears are where human ear are, ok?), reader is said to be younger than Anakin (I imagine him to be around 21/22 in this, so reader is still of age)

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“Did you steal my lightsabers?”, Ahsoka asked, her arms crossed over her chest and a stern expression on her face. Just a couple of days ago she had spent hours looking for her lightsabers, and trying to hide the fact that she had no idea where they were from her Master, only to find them in the barracks.  “I did not steal your lightsabers”, Fives said, though his voice was too innocent for anyone to believe him. “But I may have borrowed them recently”, he finally begrudgingly added. He looked at the Padawan, sure she would lash out or at least give him an earful, but Ahsoka only smiled sweetly.  “You know, since we said you’re not allowed to pick truth two times in a row you’ll have to pick dare when it’s your turn again”, she said. Fives’ eyes shifted over to Echo, hoping for some help from his brother, but he just nodded. “Those are the rules.”  With a sigh Fives admitted defeat. How bad could the upcoming dare really be? “Captain”, he started, looking at Rex, who sat on the other side of their small circle. “Truth or Dare?”  If there was one thing Rex has learned the few times he had agreed to participate in the troopers’ games it was that Fives’ dares should be avoided at all costs, so he did the only thing he felt he could and choose truth. “You’re no fun”, his brother complained with a pout. Laughter rang through the room, a sound that made the blond clone smile. Not only because he relished seeing his brothers happy in these trying times but also because he could hear the sound of your laugh next to him, clear and full of warmth. He could swear that sound alone could chase away bad dreams and inner demons, to him it was the sound of all that was good in the world and it took all his selfrestaint not to look at you, not to reach out to you. “Alright, alright”, Fives grumbled, trying to get everyone to calm down, which they eventually did. “Tell us, dear Captain, when was the last time you got lai-” Rex knew where this question was headed and apparently so did Anakin, because he pulled Ahsoka, who was sitting next to him, closer and covered both her ears with his hands.  “Stop it, there’s a child present!” The expression on the Jedi’s face was both shocked and protective, he had gone into something you liked to call his Big Brother Mode, which he often used on Ahsoka and sometimes on you as well. While the clones seemed amused by their General’s actions you could practically feel embarrassment rolling off Ahsoka, who was now pushing her Master away from her. “I’m older than most of the others here”, she complained.  “That doesn’t count, you know clones age different”, Anakin argued.  Ahsoka, who had finally managed to remove his hands from her ears, just rolled her eyes. “You need to stop treating me like a little child.”  “I’m responsible for you, Snips, and as long as you’re a Padawan it is my right to treat you like a child”, Anakin continued.  By now everyone else had tuned out of their argument. It wasn’t an unusual discussion and though the topic was brought up constantly, it never really led anywhere.  Finally Rex decided that it might be best to continue the game. “Echo, Truth or Dare?”, he asked. He had been hoping that out of all of his brothers Echo would be the least persistent and might ignore the fact that Rex hadn’t answered his question yet. But it didn’t seem to be his lucky day, because Echo wasted no time pointing that little fact out.  The Captain glanced at Anakin, hoping he might prevent him from answering any suggestive questions while Ahsoka was near, but the two Jedi were too busy bickering to pay attention to the game.  “It wasn’t that long ago”, Rex finally said. He counted the days back in his head, knowing Fives would be expecting a precise answer. “Four days.”  Rex didn’t dare to look at you, knowing the loving expression on both of your faces when thinking back to the time the two of you had spent in your small apartment before you left Coruscant a couple of days ago would give you away instantly.  “The how come you still have a stick up -”, Jesse started before Rex rudely interrupted him.  “Kix, Truth or Dare?” 

-------

The game lasted for a couple more rounds, in which Anakin had to make a prank call, Echo admitted to sometimes sneaking sweets on long missions and Jesse tried a couple of moves with Ahsoka’s lightsaber, before it was finally your turn.  “Truth or Dare, (Y/N)?”, Ahsoka asked.  The only reason you decided to choose dare was that Ahsoka was one of your best friends, you trusted her not to make you do anything too bad, other than maybe Fives or even Echo, who had proven himself to be quite deviant throughout the game, if you were forced to fulfill one of their dares.  “I dare you to kiss your favourite person in this room”, she said with a smug smirk.  It was that smirk that told you that she knew she was on to something. Though there was no way Ahsoka knew about your relationship with Rex, she had to have guessed that you liked someone, maybe even that you were seeing someone, and given your few social contacts she must have a feeling that it had to be one of the men in this very room.  “That’s unfair, ‘Soka, you know you’re my favourite person in any room”, you tried to joke. “But I’m afraid if I went anywhere near you, Anakin would have my head.”  Low chuckles were heard around the room before every pair of eyes turned to you. While you were certain Ahsoka knew that you had feelings for one of the clones, you didn’t know how close she actually was to uncovering your secret relationship, or whether any of the others had any idea. So there were two ways you could approach this; you could kiss someone else, knowing Rex would be totally fine with it if it meant covering up your relationship, or you could kiss Rex and hope for the best.  And even though you knew the first option was a lot safer, the thought of finally showing Rex off, of getting to express your feelings in public, even if just for a spare second, was thrilling.  You turned to Rex, who was still sitting right next to you. Just like everyone else in the room, he was staring at you, awaiting your next move. But unlike everyone else there was a hint of longing, as well as anxiety, in his eyes. You leaned a bit closer, until your noses were nearly touching, and placed both your hands on the floor on either side of his hips to steady yourself.  “Are you okay with this?”, you whispered. You could only hope that Rex understood what you were really asking. Was he okay with you kissing him once more, even though he had never denied you? Was he okay with you kissing him as part of the game? Was he okay with you kissing him in front of his brothers, his General and his Commander?  Rex simply nodded and it was that small gesture that made you close the gap.  It wasn’t much of a kiss, more a small peck, a brushing of lips. But when you pulled away after just a fraction of a second it had your heart beating faster, your lips tingling and left you wanting more.  “You call that a kiss? I’m sure you can do better than that, Captain”, Anakin, who was sitting on Rex’s other side, said. He put a hand on the clones shoulder and pushed him a bit closer to you, which made the others holler and laugh.  “Ahsoka said a kiss, not making out”, you tried to defend both Rex and yourself.  “But that’s not what I had in mind. You could have kissed anyone like that, not just your favourite.”  You glanced at Rex, who was now sitting even closer to you than earlier. His mouth was pressed into a thin line, which usually meant he was either annoyed or deep in thought, but the expression in his eyes was unfamiliar. At least until they flickered to your lips and then up to your eyes.  All it took was one small nod from you for Rex to pull you close, closer than you had been earlier, and press his lips to yours.  At first the kiss wasn’t that different from the first one, but then he placed one of his hands on the back of your head to pull you even closer. You reacted by swiping your tongue across his bottom lip, which caused Rex to moan and open his mouth to you. Now it was your turn to pull him even closer. You put one hand on his hip and reached for his shoulder with the other, only to realise that it was too far, so without disconnecting your lips, you climbed into his lap. In your new position and with your tongues battling for dominance, there was no space between the two of you and nothing existed other than your lips, your tongues, your hands.  Only when you couldn’t breath anymore did you pull away a few centimetres, just enough to rest your forehead against Rex’s and smile down at him from your position in his lap.  “You think we gave them enough of a show?”, your boyfriend chuckled.  “I think you scared my poor Padawan for life!”, Anakin chimed in with wide eyes. Though one look at Ahsoka told you she was more smug than anything.  “You practically devoured each other”, Kix agreed with a small smirk.  “Who knew you had it in you, Captain?”, Fives grinned.  You felt a blush creeping up and it took everything you had to get off of Rex’s lap instead of hiding your reddening face in the comfy space between his neck and shoulder. You could feel his hands still lingering on your body and how reluctant he was to let you go, but you both knew that you had to act as if the kiss didn’t bother you in the slightest if you wanted to keep your secret.  “There really is no pleasing you guys. First the kiss too innocent, then it’s too heated”, you scoffed, hoping your pretended annoyance would cover the fact that you were still blushing and Rex hand was almost touching yours where it sat on the floor.  “Maybe, but I’m sure you were quite pleasing to the Captain, at least judging by the noises he made”, Jesse continued to tease.  Thankfully it only took one sharp glare from Rex to shut everyone up, though you could feel Ahsoka’s eyes on you for the remainder of the night. 

-------

It wasn’t until late at night that Rex managed to sneak into your private quarters. Though you were tired you had managed to stay awake until your boyfriend lifted the covers and joined you in bed.  “You should get some rest, mesh’la”, he whispered as he pressed a soft kiss to the crown of your head.  Instead of replying you simply shifted closer to him until you felt his chest against your back and could intertwine your legs with his.  “We might need to be a bit more careful the next couple of days”, you sighed, sleep slowly beginning to overtake you now that you were in Rex’s arms. “At least until everyone forgets about the kiss.”  You could feel him nod and grumble a sleepy affirmation.  “We should probably tell the Commander though, she’s getting too smart to fool”, he added after a few moments.  You nodded as you yawned and snuggled even closer to him.  “You’re right. Plus Ahsoka might be the only one who’ll manage to actually keep our secret.”  Rex nuzzled his nose against your neck, breathing in the familiar scent. Though he knew it was safer this way, he hated keeping your relationship a secret. If it were up to him he would tell the whole galaxy that he was yours and you were his, but as long as he and his brothers were considered little more than property by most he’d make the most of the little stolen moments between the two of you.  “I love you”, you whispered between two yawns.  Rex pressed a soft kiss to your neck.  “I love you too, cyare. Now sleep, we both have a long day ahead of us.”  And without another word both of you fell into a deep sleep, knowing you were safe in the arms of your secret lover. 

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I had so much fun writing the playful relationships between everyone, and especially Ahsoka! Can we all agree that she is everyone’s little sister and yet the cleverest member of the 501st?  Let me know what you think, if you’d like <3

[dancingamongstdust]

MHA Scenarios - First Meeting (Part 4)

Requests are still open as of this post.

Shigaraki

You hadn’t meant to cause that level of destruction. It was an accident.

But they hadn’t seen it that way.

Their words followed you even when they could not. You could hear the accusations ringing in your head whenever you used your quirk – for better, or for worse. It became easier to ignore as you slowly learned to stop caring.

Until your quirk went out of control again.

You woke up in a dark room with a pounding headache and exhausted limbs. The doctor who was looking after you (a man you were relatively certain had no actual medical knowledge) had gotten very close and asked how much you remembered. When you informed him that it wasn’t much, he had smiled.

“Well, you certainly drew attention to yourself,” he had laughed. “Perhaps you should consider yourself lucky that the heroes didn’t get to you first.”

“I guess so…”

Something warned you that this situation was more dangerous than it seemed. Your eyes drifted over the covered windows of the room and you stared at the door. “Why did you help me?”

“Well that’s hardly for me –“

He didn’t get a chance to answer before you dashed for the exit. The doctor’s quirk didn’t allow him to grab you and his alarmed shout was all you heard before you were darting down the hallway. You weren’t going to stick around and get experimented on.

You turned the corner, heart pounding in your chest. They must have given you something because you felt drowsy. The entire world was spinning.

But you had to nearly trip yourself up to avoid running directly into somebody as you sprinted down a different hallway.

This was hardly your first time dealing with villains and many of them had odd quirks, to say the least. It shouldn’t have shocked you to see somebody with a human hand on their face but maybe the medication was lowering your tolerance because it was terrifying.

“Who are you?” you snapped out, immediately on the defense. You took a step away, ready to run or fight, whichever seemed easiest.

The man didn’t seem too bothered by your snap at least; the one eye that you could see watched you steadily from behind his hand mask. “I’m sure you’re not meant to be running around here,” he said. “But you’re no hero so you must be here for your quirk. Do you still have it?”

Your heart skipped a beat.

It wasn’t unknown in the underground that there was a man who stole quirks he liked. Nobody knew what he did with them but it wasn’t unheard of for villains to wake up with nothing. And you would never get them back.

You could feel your quirk was still there. It pulsed under your skin like a warning.

“My quirk?” you repeated. “I have my quirk.”

You did a random gesture, summoning all of your past acting experience to appear horrified when nothing happened. Again and again you tried before looking around in shock and horror.

The guy bought it and he shrugged. “Then there’s no reason to stop you.” He brushed past you and continued walking. “Not like you could find the exit anyway.”

The moment he turned the corner, you dropped the act and bolted again. This place was a maze but you found the exit and avoided any encounters with a practiced ease. Before leaving, you looked back up at the building and grimaced, hoping to never see it again.

Toga

It was late at night when you had the strangest encounter of your life. Not that that was a bad thing necessarily but it was something that occurred, nevertheless.

You had been feeling quite exhausted from a long day of fun with your friends. They had headed off to get a cab when you had realised that you needed the bathroom and disappeared to go find one.

There was a public toilet not too far from the street though it certainly wasn’t as clean as you would have hoped. Not to be deterred, you slipped in and found a sight that, even to your exhausted mind was uncomfortable.

A girl stood in front of one of the mirrors, blood staining much of her face. It covered the counter beneath her fingers and seemed to be coming from her lip.

“Are you okay?!” you asked, panicked.

She looked up at you, startled. Her dark hair covered much of her expression but she seemed a little out of it. Maybe she got hit on the head or something.

“I –“ she paused, her voice croaky and sore. She brought her hand up to rub her throat. “I think so.”

“Just wait, let me help you,” you said. You rushed into one of the stalls and gathered up some toilet paper. “Do you need me to call somebody or?”

“No,” she said quickly. “No. Thank you.”

You offered some of the damp tissue to her and she started wiping it away from her mouth. While she dealt with that, you cleaned the blood that she had left on the counter, making sure to get it out of all the cracks in and around the sink. “What happened to you?” you asked. “Did somebody attack you?”

“I slipped,” she said. “The tiles are really slippery and I think that I hit my mouth on the sink. It’s all kind of blurry.”

“Don’t worry,” you said, digging through your bag and grabbing some headache tablets. You offered the bottle to her. “Take two of those just in case. Even if it doesn’t hurt now, you don’t want to wake up with a headache tomorrow.”

“Thank you,” she said. “Do I still have any blood on me?”

“Just on your jaw,” you pointed out. “Come on, my friends and I are getting a cab. We can call one for you also if you need.”

She took one last glance in the mirror before leaving. You had forgotten your own need for the bathroom and it was for good reason also. If you had hung around for a little longer, you may have seen blood trickling out from one of the stalls. Perhaps then you wouldn’t have been so worried about this stranger hitting her head.

“What’s your name?” you asked as you looked around for your friends.

“Toga,” the girl said, though she didn’t seem too happy with having told you. The words must have slipped out without her meaning to.

You gave her your own name and went up onto your toes to look around the crowd for your friends. Eventually you spotted them and waved but when you spoke to Toga, she didn’t respond.

She had disappeared into the crowd.

You went back into the bathroom and checked but she was long gone. Just like how the blood has escaped your notice earlier, you didn’t see the blonde watching you from the other side of the street, her head tilted a little.

Dabi

It was a rare day when you found yourself alone without at least one person to watch your back. You didn’t always need the protection but sometimes, it was nice to have.

But you had given your word and it wouldn’t do to back out of this now.

The building where everything had been organised was old and crumbling – its ancient nature hidden on the outskirts of the city and slowly becoming overtaken by countless plants. It wasn’t somewhere anybody with good intentions would find themselves.

You liked to think that your work was good. It benefitted many and took only from those who could afford to lose it. Unfortunately though, rules had to be broken for the best results, and sometimes what was classified as ‘wrong’ turned out to be needed in order to achieve a goal. It wasn’t quite in line with what you believed but it had to be done.

Did working with villains make you uncomfortable? Of course. But it was hardly going to be something that stopped you from moving forward.

The two members from the League of Villains that had been sent to meet you were both men. You didn’t bother with greetings, just holding up the briefcase that you held.

“I’m looking for a specific artwork,” you said. “I’ve been told that you might be able to help?”

“An artwork?” the one asked. He wore a white and black mask that concealed most of his face and an extremely gaudy costume.

“Not just an artwork,” you explained. “It has something of mine hidden in the canvas. Normally, I would just get the police involved but if they found it, it would be quite problematic for me. The group that stole it won’t listen to many but the League of Villains, I’m afraid. They have a few good quirks and they’re extremely cocky for it.”

“We’re not lapdogs,” the other man said. “Especially not for whatever agenda you’re pushing.”

“I don’t pay lapdogs,” you acknowledged. “Consider me a sponsor.”

Flames cackled into existence in his hand, surprising his colleague enough to jump a little. “Chances are, they’ve already found your thing. Even if they haven’t, the league can hardly go around picking fights with random gangs.”

“Shigaraki did ask –“

The masked man was cut off by a glare. Blue flames sent flickering light through the air as they waited patiently for your answer.

“If it’s already been discovered or if it happens to get damaged during the process, then I don’t plan on getting anything out of our deal. It’ll simply be a loss on my side.”

The flames slowly flickered out and you allowed yourself to breathe again. Confidence was a requirement for these deals but you didn’t quite have the nerves of steel that you portrayed. It was always a fight to keep your reactions in check.

“I guess if we happen to bump into the group, we can check around for your shit.”

You knew his bluff as well as your own. The League of Villains had always worked well with those who had money. They required funding and wouldn’t say no to being able to flex their reputation around the underground. It was almost needed with the way rumours were circulating.

It was less than a week after that encounter when you found your artwork sitting outside your home. Charred on the edges, it was damaged enough to make the art itself worthless. But your items inside were perfectly unharmed.

Not bad for your first time working alongside the League of Villains. It was worth the cost… you should do it more in the future.

Twice

When you had been called in for this job, you had no idea that it was going to turn into a fight of the magnitude you experienced.

Flames tore along the streets. They melted lamps and trapped hundreds inside buildings – the screams for help becoming almost deafening as you broke down yet another wall to get civilians out. It was the third building you had had to smash into and there were more yet.

Nobody could get out and, if they remained trapped, they wouldn’t survive much longer.

When your partner and you had realised you were dealing with the League of Villains, you had immediately called in the big guns. What you hadn’t realised was that doing so would result in a brawl of sorts in the streets. The League of Villains didn’t care about collateral and honestly, sometimes you wondered if the heroes did.

You were starting to overheat. The amount of fire swirling around was getting to you, drawing the breath from your lungs and slowing your movements. Its angry blue nature hinted at its abysmal nature.

The next building’s walls took even longer to get through but you managed it and a few people scrambled out. You ushed as best as you could although it was starting to get hard to speak.

But then you noticed a dark figure lying in one of the rooms

Outside, the fire roared and smacked against the walls but you couldn’t just leave somebody there. You stepped over the rubble and made your way to the figure.

It was hard to make out details with the flames. The heat seemed to be getting worse as you approached – soon identified as being caused by the gaping hole in the wall. It radiated around the room in waves. You covered your mouth and nose the best you could, creeping forward to reach where the person was.

When you arrived, it took you no time to recognise that you weren’t saving an unfortunate civilian but rather a member of the League itself.

You hesitated for a second before hooking your arms under his and beginning to drag him away from the danger. This was the type of thing that lost reputation for heroes. Civilians didn’t like seeing villains being rescued but you honestly didn’t care.

If he was left there, he was probably going to end up dying.

Though he had seemed unconscious, when you got him out of the building, he muttered something and moved. It was enough to make you jump back but he didn’t attack or anything. He just touched his face and then let his arm go limp again.

You moved back cautiously. His suit had been ripped on the one side, missing its arm and half of the torso. You checked his pulse, relieved to feel that it was still going, even if it was unsteady.

“Can you hear me?” you asked.

He didn’t respond and you reached up to remove his mask. His hand immediately snapped up to grab your wrist and you prepared to activate your quirk but all he did was push your arm away from his face.

Alright then. No touching the mask.

You bandaged the open wound on his side as best as you could. It looked like he had gotten launched through the building. Once he was as stable as he could be, you moved him to a safer area and jumped back into the fray. A ton of rescues later and the heroes had won, at the destruction of much property.

And, rather unsurprisingly, the villain you had saved was long gone.

Overhaul

There was a new drug running around the market. You had heard of a number of small-time villains taking it – most of them dying shortly after consumption. It wasn’t unheard of. If something had even the promise of a good time then it would attract thousands.

But what was a problem was that you had lost several of your newest underlings as a direct result of this drug.

Given how picky you were about hiring, this was going to be a problem.

You tracked the source to none other than the Shie Hassaikai. They were an old branch of the yakuza, sitting on the edge of a downward spiral into irrelevance. Rumors followed that their boss had fallen quite ill and now, it was only a matter of time until they fell completely on their faces.

So you didn’t feel too nervous when you approached the house that fronted their main base. Even with the members watching you from the bushes, you kept a straight line.

You weren’t unknown. It would do them a great disservice to attack you.

And they knew it.

You walked in the front door with absolutely no resistance and remained unsurprised when two masked men came out to greet you. They didn’t ask about your business or enquire as to who you were. Instead, they led you into a sitting room and gestured for you take a seat.

Instead of that, you walked around the room and picked up everything that looked interesting. Nothing was hidden around but you hadn’t expected there to be.

“Please don’t touch things without gloves on,” a smooth voice interrupted your curiosity. “Cleaning this entire house is rarely needed and I’d rather you didn’t change that.”

You turned around to find somebody considerably younger than you had expected for the head of the Shie Hassaikai. He wore their signature mask and a feathered coat, almost his entire body hidden in some way.

“Not a fan of germs?” you enquired.

“Not at all.”

You shrugged and made your way to the couch, sinking down into it. “Guess that means no drinks or anything? Oh well, that’s too bad.” You gestured for him to sit.  “So, you’re not who I was expecting.”

“You’ve never worked with our organisation before,” he said, sitting on the edge of the chair opposite you.

“No. You’re not in the same line of work as me and I don’t care too much about the Yakuza.”

“Then why are you here?”

You straightened, aware that you were about to get into the most dangerous part of the meeting. “Your drugs have been getting into my areas. Now, I don’t care all too much about how you distribute stock but it’s not just coming into possession of low-life criminals. My men are getting practically gifted it.”

His eyes narrowed. “We need to test it somehow. Besides, that sounds like a problem for you, no? Have better control of your men.”

“Keep your test tube shit out of my territories.”

A small staring contest took place – a test to see who would break first. You had been in almost a hundred of these over the course of your career. They didn’t bother you much at all in anymore.

Eventually he waved his hand through the air. “I guess we could stop supply to traders in your areas but this isn’t a charity.”

“I could kill your men.”

“But you would lose your own in the process. Wouldn’t it be easier to do this the peaceful way and maybe even establish a relationship between our two groups?”

“You have my attention. Don’t waste it.”

Kurogiri

There are those days when everything begins so well only to rapidly spiral into a situation out of your worst dreams. This was something like that.

You had gotten horribly caught in the crossfire of a battle between heroes and villains. It all occurred faster than you could have ever imagined – flashes of light and explosions of sound. People were screaming, the sound coming through a haze as you tried to get a grasp on what had happened.

Blood was trickling down your arm but you felt no pain. You slowly lifted your head. Something had hit you, you remembered that now as your brain caught up to the dull ache coming from your ribcage.

You tried to move, finding that you couldn’t. The ache became worse and a heavy, scraping sound interrupted your attempts to crawl away.

It was a piece of concrete, heavy and painful, pinning you effectively to the ground. A smaller chunk was holding it up and stopping you from being crushed. But if you moved too much…

You forced yourself to take a deep breath, nearly choking on the dust that filled the air. Maybe if you shifted slowly.

A crunching noise made you hiccup.

Alright, so that wasn’t going to work either. You strained your eyes to see through the carnage but you couldn’t make out any heroes. They would come eventually; you just had to wait patiently and try not to move too much.

The concrete seemed to get heavier still and you fought the desire to cry.

There was a crunching sound. You couldn’t just wait around.

Slow as you dared, you began to inch forward. The rough surface snagged at your clothing and made every centimeter feel like it was going to end with you crushed. Worse still, the more you moved, the more apparent the injury on your back became.

The blood that had been trickling down your arm was now creeping along your torso. It pooled in your clothes and made everything sticky.

You tried not to think about it but it made you light-headed regardless.

About half-way out, you spotted somebody nearby. It was just their silhouette but still, relief flooded your veins and you cried out desperately for help.

The figure made its way over to you, soon revealing that the man was almost entirely made of smoke. He wore a suit and tie but his body swirled as though only somewhat solid. Bright yellow eyes stared at you – any emotion behind them was completely unreadable.

His eyes traced your shape. “You’re not who I’m looking for.”

“Please help me. This thing’s going to crush me.”

He paused, the swirling darkness that made up his face shuddered as though it was unsure how to respond. “I should leave you here,” he mentioned. “You’re of no consequence to me or to my cause. If anything, I should add pressure to the piece of rubble and make sure the fatality numbers are higher.”

You caught of whimper before it could escape. “Please.”

His smoke shook again, almost as though he was struggling to keep hold of it. Then he raised a foot and placed it on the concrete.

You screwed your eyes shut and tried to imagine the best parts of life.

A loud horn blaring made you open them again and a surprised yelp escaped as you saw tires race past in front of you. People were shouting, their voices loud and nearby. Bright lights surrounded you and the air was clear once more.

The last thing you remembered seeing was a panicked nurse rushing over to you.

[fallinfl0wers]

love stories with some genshin boys i thought of while listening to my playlists

includes: aether (210 words), xiao (261 words), scaramouche (277 words) and albedo (307)

warnings (?): spoilers of ‘we will be reunited’, english is not my native language and uhh idk what else, idk really know what these are, headcanons ?? snippets ?? also not beta read and not edited.

it’s long so uhhh i’ll add a cut somewhere

anyway enjoy!! ...whatever this is i guess

Aether

Falling in love with Aether is like a fun adventure. He, being always the center of attention and the protagonist no matter where he goes, is a free spirited, kind and hardworking man. 

Throughout your time travelling and being in a relationship together, you’ll find that your relationship with the Honorary Knight is one of sweet kisses under the sunlight; innocent handholding while thinking up of what to make for dinner tonight; of easily talked out arguments and finding ways to compromise; of softly pushing each other to become a better version of themselves and, most of all, of supporting and having each other’s backs no matter what.

And when Aether confronts the Abyss Princess face to face for the first time and his world comes crashing down on him, this trait of your relationship shines like no other, as you hold him in your arms after everything was over during the night, Paimon sleeping soundly next to the both of you inside your improvised campsite.

“Even though I’m not sure what -or who- I should believe anymore, I... I know I want to see this journey to the end, and I want you to be there with me for it. Let’s be together until the last moment and beyond.”

Songs:

Snow Fairy - Funkist

Snowing, be honest with yourself and smile When two people are getting closer, time overlaps Fairy, where are you going I will gather all the light and shine it on your tomorrow

Still Lonely - SEVENTEEN

This cursed popularity. Why won’t it leave me? But why am I getting lonelier The early morning chill makes me feel Even lonelier today I feel completely empty, as if I’m empty

Kanpeki Gu~ no ne - Watarirouka Hashiritai

I'm at a loss for words, with this and that, I'm totally in love with you Someday, I want do the same to you: Watch you flounder, At a loss for words right back to me!

Side by Side - The8 from SEVENTEEN

I want to hold hands with you but I don't know what to do what to do oh baby I want to give all my heart to you but You still don't know what's in my heart

Hope - Namie Amuro

At the end of this blue, wide world there's a place I want to aim at with you We chose this long ago for eternity

Xiao

Falling in love with Xiao is like living a bittersweet dream. The Vigilant Yaksha is far from human, or so he says, and thus is out of touch with the way we mortals experience feelings, both the negative and positive ones.

Your relationship with him is one of compassion, mutual understanding, appreciation and patience. So, so much patience. Of intertwined pinkies and soft stolen glances, of shy smiles and comfortable silence sometimes filled with your voice chatting time away and his short responses to your talks.

I mentioned patience. He knows you’re making an enormous effort to try and understand him and be patient with him and his slow learning process of how relationships work, so it’s only fair that he makes a true effort to understand you and your feelings.

Xiao is well aware that he could hurt you without wanting to, be it with his blunt phrasing of his thoughts or his Karmic Debt, as much as he is aware that you will eventually pass away and leave him behind to go somewhere he can’t follow, and that undeniable truth haunts him every second of every day he gets to spend with you. And still, he wishes and wants and does cherish each and every warm, kind feeling he gets every single second you’re together nonetheless.

“I might not know what to make of these new feelings you gave me. But I’ll learn. I promise I’ll learn, so please... don’t go, not yet. Let me treasure you and carve you into my memory for as long as I can.”

Songs:

Euphoria - BTS

I don't know what this emotion is Perhaps this is also the inside of a dream A dream is the blue mirage of the desert Deep inside of me, a priori I become happy to the point of being unable to breathe The surroundings, bit by bit, become clearer

Fallin’ Flower - SEVENTEEN

While flower blooms and falls, scars cure and buds shoot We are living our first and last moment So I won’t take you for granted Because you loved me as I am

Fear - SEVENTEEN

Get out my mind I can't handle it, I'm afraid of myself The truth has me tied up My heart is tainted I'm afraid it'll eventually change you too

The Truth Untold - BTS, Steve Aoki

It’s my fate Don’t smile to me Light on me Because I can’t get closer to you There’s no name you can call me

You know that I can’t Show you me Give you me I can’t show you a ruined part of myself Once again I put a mask on and go to see you But I still want you

Tiny Light - Akari Kitō

Because you colored my unchanging monochromatic days Even the blurred darkness gained meaning

Still, hidden in this heart, these feelings of preciousness so strong that they hurt I just want to convey these feelings to only you before they disappear someday

Scaramouche

Falling in love with Scaramouche is like constantly playing a game. He’s strict, demanding, disagreeable, and widely disliked by enemies and allies alike. Still, he has a heart too; and he holds desires and hopes deep inside of it, although most of them are fueled by the unchanging curiosity he has towards the world around him, curiosity to know what he can get out of whatever the world wants to throw at him.

You were no exception to that rule, at first.

When he met you he wanted to get something from you. And you knew it from the start, just as he knew that you knew. And that didn’t change anything, at first.

Your relationship with him is one of dangerously playful, yet still light-hearted games of seduction, teasing and deceit; of secret kisses exchanged in expensive private rooms in restaurants or the cozy warmth of your home, of an unspoken shared respect and, most of all, complete, mutual devotion.

You know Scaramouche is not a good man. He has done many, many unspeakable things in his life as one of the Eleven, and he knows he’s far from being the perfect charming prince you could aim for, but he will never let you go. Because behind those hardened walls of egocentrism and pride, you saw what no one else bothered to see. You saw him, not the role he was playing, you saw him and fell in love with him.

“To be honest, I don’t think I could find anyone else who understands me as much as you do. And no, I’m not saying this because I want something, give me some more credit, geez...”

Songs:

soldier game -  µ’s

You'll come with me, yes? You've grown curious about my touch, yes? Then it's already love Since you're someone I must meet in battle someday, That might just be your reason It's soldier game Though we've met again, I'm soldier heart

Kowareyasuki - Guilty Kiss

Just stop it already and show your heart only to me I love your eyes that are about to cry And your defenseless, clumsy way of living too (...) The hesitation you convey makes my chest hurt Some people just don't know what such kindness is But then I discover the truth When we got together, you don't have to endure anymore Right now, show your grief only to me I like that you think too much The complete opposite of me

Shhh - SEVENTEEN

Don't think of all these as your mere illusion They're not lies that follow the moment No one can underestimate it, my feelings are an ignition 'Cause I'm always the same Me and you, we got hurt by the lies that we won't ever work But it's fate

(...)

So I can cover you from danger A consented dedication

(...)

It's as natural as breathing An everlasting dedication

Good to me - SEVENTEEN

Yeah, when you were making that sign in my heart It was a long time since my firewall broke down Pass with the password What in the world do you know about me? Are my deep feelings seen by you?

Hiraishin - Keyakizaka46

(To trust is to be betrayed, to open one’s heart is to get hurt So to avoid being struck by lightning-like sorrow…)

Which side am I picking? Ah, these values are hard to handle That’s why I won’t stop watching over you Positive positive positive You should just be yourself… I can forgive whatever absurdities you pull off I’ll support you without being noticed Even when you get nitpicked I’ll be your companion Let us now promise to live an unremarkable life hereafter What we have here is the lightning rod of love

Albedo

Falling in love with Albedo is a fairy tale-like experience for both of you. His attention had always been focused on his research, everything else fading into the background save for a few exceptions, until you came around. You, who stole all his attention by just existing. 

As an alchemist, he’s naturally the curious type. He wanted to know what about it had caught his attention, what was so special about you that had him clinging to your every word and movement every time you interacted with him. Still, human relationships are hard for him, and he figured you might go away the second he started to feel burnt out from your interactions. But you didn’t. Instead, you stayed. You stayed and took interest on what he did, asked questions, gave your insight, and dragged him to sleep when he needed a break. In exchange, he did the same for you.

Your relationship with Albedo is like one of those awkwardly sweet first time crushes. Of carefully calculated movements, dates and compliments, of soft kisses on lips, hands and cheeks, of mutual support, understanding and mature compromising and commitment.

The Kreideprinz, like everyone else, has his own fears and insecurities, especially regarding his... nature, but he does his best not to let them affect the relationship he has with you. Each moment spent by your side, even when he’s not actively doing any research, is considered perfectly spent, meaningful time.

“A long time ago, I was tasked with finding out the meaning of this world. Though I have directed my efforts and resources to looking for the answer through alchemy, ever since we met I... think, I’ve found an unexpected conclusion to said issue. While it’s likely that this is not the answer expected from me, I’m positive that, at least personally, I finally have the answer.”

Songs:

Futari Saison - Keyakizaka46

In the wind blowing through the city’s streets, even though I caught whiff of something’s scent, I had no interest in looking back

In a 1m radius around me, I formed an invisible barrier to another world And yet, you took someone like me out of it

What made you do that?

Home - SEVENTEEN

What can I do? Without you I’m just an old robot, my heart stops and it’s always cold What can we do? Without me You’ll struggle just as much, so what can we do?

Baby, I want to cherish our warmth So no one can come between us

Flower - SEVENTEEN

You taught me, you showed me You’re my only reason If you can forever remember me I can get hurt, I can get hurt

My heart that’s engraved with your light Makes me stronger Give me your sharp thorns Cause you’re my flower

Oh my! - SEVENTEEN

Sorry for repeating the same thing But this is all I can try using hard words But my true feeling is this, every everything

(...)

How about you? Is it hard for you to sleep because of me too? If you keep making my heart flutter What do I do?

Naze koi wo shite konakattan darou? - Sakurazaka46

Why hadn't I fallen in love? I've been making fun of it all this time I mean everyone keeps saying 'I love you' just like cats in heat But after falling in love I realized what people live for To meet, to love, to the point of nothing but... I'm not myself, I want to find my true self.

[filterjeons]

private show | jjk

✦ pairing: jeon jungkook x reader

✦ summary: throughout your relationship, you never thought jungkook would ask a certain type of action from you. however, you take it into consideration...without the intention of him nearly catching you

✦ rating: M, not suitable for minors

✦ genre: smut

✦ word count: 7.4k

✦ warnings: dom!jungkook, sub!reader, tsundere!reader, rough & unprotected sex (wrap it b4 u tap it!!), dirty talk, degradation bc im a whore for that, masterbation, voyeurism, oral (f receiving), fingering, orgasm denial

Honestly, you didn’t know what you did in your past life to earn a man like Jungkook but you weren’t complaining one bit anyways. By just one look at you, people assumed you weren’t the type to have a boyfriend and you would spend the rest of your life alone. Luckily, you managed to prove them all wrong by being with someone who loved you for the way you were instead of your money. 

It was a blessing and a curse to be born into a rich family of doctors who expected you to be the heir of the family hospital. Despite having your future already planned for you, you fell in love with playing the violin after being introduced to it when you were young. The feeling of holding the violin against your jaw as the bow ran across the strings to produce a classical melody that you’ve familiarized yourself with throughout the years. 

You would much rather be at a violin recital in a beautiful dress playing one of Bach’s sonatas than being cooped up in your room studying biology. However, your parents didn’t feel the same way. 

When you were about 6, you ranked second at a competition against tons of kids who were in their later-preteens but that wasn’t enough to prove to your parents how much you loved music. They took it as a sign of failure because “it’s not being first” and always used that argument against you to emphasize on how you have to be at the top of your class. 

“Mommy! Guess what, I got second place! Second out of a bunch of bigger kids! I didn’t expect-” you squealed, kicking the back of the limo’s glass partition. Instead of candy, you were buzzing with excitement due to how well you placed in your county’s music recital. But what you didn’t know was that even a place close to first was never enough. “Why didn’t you get first?” 

As those words ran through your ears, you felt your blood run cold and the eyes that were dancing of excitement and joy started to dull. You clutched your certificate tightly, tears starting to swell up. 

“That’s because there was a sixth grader who was better than me and she was really good, she can play the piano-” “You see, if you can’t get first then you shouldn’t pursue a career in music. It’s too hard and competitive for you anyways. How about you focus on your studies, especially since you’re going to take over the hospital when you’re older.” 

Up until last year which was your freshman year of college, you obeyed them by devoting your time to studying and only treating music as just a hobby while you hide your feelings along the way. Now that you think about it, you barely had friends during high school since every break period, you were always alone in the music room and you were too stubborn to go up to people. The only reason why you would talk to someone is to work on a group project but it ended up being that you would do all of the work while they slack off. 

Everyday felt dull and uninteresting, especially since you’re being put in a fate that you don’t even want. But like some stupid cliche, it all changed ever since you met him. 

You didn’t even intend to meet him, hell you barely knew he existed. But the night of your chemistry midterm, the apartment next to you decided to have a party which most of the school is invited to and blast loud music that could be heard from the next town over. 

It couldn’t get any worse as you were already stressed from college and your parent’s crazy expectations and you were definitely not failing otherwise you’re dead meat. Normally, you would just try to sleep it out with earplugs but since you barely ate anything but coffee and granola bars and you were tired from the 24 hour studying, that was your last straw. So you did the thing a person would do in your situation: marching over to the party in your purple star-printed nightgown to give them a piece of your mind. 

Already at the door, you could feel people’s stares burn into you, due to why you came to the party when you didn’t bother interacting with people and why you were in your pajamas. Maybe people were going to talk about you on Instagram but you didn’t care, you just wanted to ensure that you have enough sleep so you could at least pass. 

Unfortunately for you, you must’ve looked extremely stupid because you were wandering around the same area like a drunk man. Random people did offer to get you a drink but you declined; after all it was a school night. Eventually you gave up trying to even bother talking after seeing the host, local frat boy Jackson Wang, surrounded by the rest of the partygoers in a beer pong game. 

Frustrated and exhausted, you hauled yourself up to a seemingly empty room and collapsed onto the bed. Not only did you enter a college party in your pajamas but you wasted precious time studying over something idiotic like this. With all of these negative emotions inside of you, screaming inside a pillow was the first thing that came into your mind. And unfortunately, someone had to be the witness of your near mental breakdown. 

“Woah, is everything okay?” a velvety voice chuckled, patting your back slightly. Well, another reason why your night is absolute shit. You turned your face up to chew off the mysterious person but for some reason, your voice was all caught up in your throat. 

He was different, different from all of the boys that ever interacted with you. Despite you being a complete loner, the guys in your high school tried to hook up with you but you were never interested. They stunk of axe and the only reason why they’re “popular” is because they were on a sports team. Besides, you were too busy in your academics to even think about dating. 

You couldn’t really see him but the guy who’s in the room with you looks better than every single guy in your high school combined: his long dark hair in a mini-ponytail contrasting with his cute bunny-like face. 

“Wh-who are you?” “Jeon Jungkook. I’m a member of the boxing team and my family owns a records shop downtown. What about you?” 

“I-i-” “Aren’t you Y/N, the smart girl who doesn’t talk to anybody and spends her time either studying or in the music room with her violin?” Thank god the room is dark because your face was burning up badly. Barely anyone knew you and if they did, they had bad things to say about you because you were so quiet and boring. However, what he said was a fact and you shouldn’t blame him for having an impression on you due to what other people said. It hurted nonetheless though, especially since he was a part of a sports team. 

“Yeah, that’s me. What do you want? If it’s homework answers, then fine!” you snapped, immediately standing up and walking away. You were absolutely done with this night, all you wanted to do is sleep so you have some sanity tomorrow. 

“You sure are feisty. It’s cute,” he said with a cocky grin stuck on his face. Oh, how you wanted to slap it off. 

“If you’re asking me out, I’m not interested!” you fought back. Although you were one step out of the door, something about him made you want to stay. Like you wanted to talk to him. 

“I didn’t say anything about that but if you want it that way-”

“No! I-I’m sorry for acting all rude, I’m just having a really bad night and I’m not in the mood to talk to anyone,” you mumbled, turning on the light. Oh how it was a bad idea..

Now that you could really see his face clearly, your heart felt like it was about to explode. He was dressed in a simple all-black T-shirt and jeans with combat boots to match. What really captivated you were the tattoos on his hand and up to his elbow, each symbol and design etched out beautifully which must’ve taken hours. 

Although you were at least wearing clothes, you felt exposed due to the stupid pajamas you have on. He somehow sensed your embarrassment and gave you a small smirk which made it ten times worse. 

“Well, do you want to explain why you were screaming in a pillow earlier?” Normal you definitely wouldn’t spill her feelings to a hot guy she just met five minutes ago but with him, you felt safe. Like for one night, all your worries and feelings are immediately gone and it’s just you and him. 

Was this the stupid shit they call “love at first sight”? 

“My midterm is tomorrow and I can’t sleep from all of the noise so I came here to yell at the host of the party. Jackson Wang, fuck you and your decision to host a party today,” you sighed, settling yourself next to him. You would expect him to immediately laugh and make fun of you since it was something a lot of people did to you whenever you cared about your grades. Instead, he looked at you with understandment and listened to what you had to say. 

“Honestly, I don’t even know why I went to this stupid party in the first place,” he replied, making you snort out a laugh. As you were trying to collect yourself from his statement, Jungkook’s mouth turned up into a small smile. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t expect that. Anyways, I guess I should get going since I have a big day ahead of me,” you smiled, feeling a small weight being lifted off of your shoulders. As you trudge out the door, Jungkook’s arm stops yours for a second. 

“Do you think I can have your phone number? Not for dating but you sound like a really cool person to be around and no offense but you seem lonely.” “Thanks for the compliment. But here you go,” you said sarcastically, scribbling down your phone number on a random piece of stationary in the drawer next to the bed. Maybe this is all a fever dream, maybe you’re hallucinating due to how little sleep you’ve gotten during midterm week. 

“I’ll see you soon…” he waved you goodbye as you gave a final look at the door. He was interesting but now isn’t the time to be distracted! You’re pretty sure that if you pinch yourself, you’ll be back in your dorm since this is just a dream? “Also, d-don’t take it the wrong way! It’s not like I like you or anything! I just wrote down my number because you asked nicely! We’re never going to date!” Not only did you pass your midterm but your last line to Jungkook in the stuffy college party would become your famous last words. 

It’s been years since you and Jungkook met at that party and a lot has changed then. You started to grow feelings and date him a few weeks after your midterm, eventually making the relationship official in a month. After a few months into dating, he introduced his parents to you first. They were a sweet family with amazing home cooked meals which you were dying to recreate and luckily, they accepted you with open arms. 

However, him meeting your parents wasn’t that smooth. Now that you look back on that day, not only were you permanently deciding to be with the one that you love but it also felt like you were breaking free out of the shell that your parents trapped you in because you didn’t want to go down the path they set for you. 

You shook your head to yourself, not wanting to be reminded of the painful past. Now, you were a violinist playing in recitals and companies and Jungkook was running his parent’s record shop. You were happy and you didn’t care about what your stupid parents think. They can simply ask someone else to run the hospital and it’ll still be fine. 

As soon as the practice track ended, you turned off the metronome and packed your violin away. The apartment that you and Jungkook shared was average-sized, a notable difference from the mansion you used to live in but it was better. You were with the person you love and that’s all you could ever need. It may sound corny but a simple life with him was all you ever wanted. 

After you pack away your violin, you impatiently wait alongside the door for Jungkook to get home. Right now, he has boxing practice for a match next week and he wanted to stay with his teammate Taehyung to be the best that he can but he’s stopping by for a day. You’re not into boxing but like the good girlfriend you were, you attend most of his matches (some conflicted with your performances) and cheer him on. 

Although you miss having him by your side, you’re also aware of how much boxing means to him as it was a break from the hectic life of owning a music store. Another positive in your new life was the amount of music there was, a good break from the science and math that filled your childhood. 

You heard some jiggling among the door locks and surely enough, Jungkook’s handsome face was in your view. He was wearing a black sleeveless shirt and some blue jeans, a very simple outfit after spending most of his time at the boxing gym. 

“Hey baby,” he cooed, giving you a hug and a kiss on the forehead. 

“Hi. I’m so happy you’re back, I was starting to worry that you forgot about me,” you joked, carrying his boxing bag to your shared bedroom with him tagging behind. 

“You know I would never forget about you,” he muttered, wrapping his arms around your waist and kissing the back of your neck. Instead of wriggling away like you normally do, you allow yourself to relish in his affection since he wasn’t a person who did it often. 

“I missed you..” you mumbled, turning around and kissing him. He returned the kiss more passionately, slipping his tongue inside your mouth. The sudden action made you forget about everything, focusing only on him. Unfortunately, with your senses locked on him, it caused you to fall onto the bed, your head nearly hanging off of the edge. Jungkook used your weakness to have more control over the kiss and you, carefully grabbing the back of your head to deepen the kiss. Even though he always controls kissing you, his lips are also full of love and longing due to him being gone for too long. 

“God I missed this,” he mumbled, breaking away to remove the buttons of your blouse and kissing the side of your neck. You whined from his touch, feeling a bit embarrassed due to how much time it’s been since the two of you were together. 

“What is it baby girl, are you nervous? Come on, we’ve known each other for years and I know you can take anything I give you.” It was true of course but for some reason, it felt like the first time you had sex with him. 

After your shirt has been taken off, you unconsciously cover your chest with your arms. You didn’t know why you’re acting so self-conscious, especially since you’ve been a challenger to him in bed. 

“Hey, are you okay? We can stop if you don’t want to-” Jungkook asked softly, reaching over to take your hand. 

What’s there to be nervous about? It’s just Jungkook and like he said, you’ve known him for too long. Besides, don’t you have too much pride to act this way? You swallowed the lump in your throat and looked back at him with a seductive smile. 

“You were taking too long to take off my shirt. How boring,” you said coyly, tapping his nose playfully. He returned your gaze, his eyes darkened with lust and desire. 

“Well then baby girl, how about you take off the rest of your clothes since you seem like you want to do it,” he muttered, sitting up with his attention completely on your chest. One thing you were infamous in your relationship for is being a brat, a mix of you being submissive but not backing down completely. Even though you liked being a good girl sometimes, the rest is just you on the receiving end. After all, you won’t back down to a challenge, nonetheless if your challenger’s your significant other. 

If a person only based off of what they saw, they would think that you were the one taking absolute control due to the aura you give off and your harsh personality. However, at least between you and him since you were one to keep your private life a secret, he is the one with the reins and you were completely fine with it. 

You unclipped your bra, throwing it at some random place in the room and revealed your exposed breasts. He ogled at your body up and down, his familiar lustful gaze running through his eyes. 

“Hey, what are you staring at?” you barked, slowly starting to feel awkward. Unlike you, Jungkook had no shame when it came to your bedroom activities and there were times when he would just stare at you while you’re completely bare. How embarrassing...but it’s no big deal. 

“Watch your mouth you little brat. Do I have to punish you on my day back?” he said darkly, his tone immediately making the back of your hairs stand up. Your face softened, heat forming in your cheeks as you twirled a random piece of your hair, a random habit that you’ve done since elementary school.

“I-I’m sorry.” “Sorry what, baby girl? You’re smarter than that.” “Sorry..sir.” After that word was uttered in your soft and obedient tone, Jungkook could feel his dick growing harder by the second. Hearing you give up all of your confidence and letting him control you never failed to turn him on. 

“Now take off the rest of your clothes, sweetie. Or are you going to continue being a dumb little girl and keep playing with me,” he growled softly, leaning back on the bed frame. You felt like acting up some more but he truly was scary when he’s upset and you didn’t want to make his visit back bad because of your behavior so you simply did what he said. Even though you wouldn’t admit it to the world, you also love obeying Jungkook. 

You quickly unzippered your jeans, pulling them off along with your panties and kicking them out of the bed. The warmth from the clothes were immediately replaced by the chilly air from the air conditioner, your nipples standing up and goosebumps filling your body. It was humiliating, especially since Jungkook can see you so clearly. 

“My precious sweetheart,” he cooed, leaning over you and you could feel his hardened member alongside the roughness of his jeans as he slowly grinded into you. 

“Ahh…” You didn’t know what to say, except you knew you wanted more. Jungkook’s mouth was latched onto your nipples, sucking them harshly while his other hand was massaging and flicking on them repeatedly. You felt your eyes roll back to your head and your pussy dampening, even though he wasn’t doing anything yet. 

“You like this baby?” he asked gruffly, tugging on your nipple teasingly as it sends sparks of pleasure inside you. You only let out a whine in response as he broke apart from your chest and slowly made his way down your body. 

All of a sudden, he inserted one of his long fingers inside of your core, sending vibrations throughout your body. You squealed from the intrusion as your body tried to familiarize itself with his finger, your walls clenching around his digit. 

“Damn, have you gotten tighter since last time?” He started to thrust his finger in and out of you at a moderate pace, trying to get you used to the feeling. As if one isn’t enough for you, he suddenly inserted a second one to stretch you out. 

Your mind was a haze, not paying attention to anything that was happening around you and focusing on the pleasure that Jungkook was giving you. His fingers attempted to reach the spongy section of your g-spot, the place that absolutely had you in hysterics. Surely enough, his fingertips grazed over it and you could nearly come undone at any second. 

While he added an additional finger and completely filled you up, you could feel his smooth tongue on your clit, flicking and sucking on it feverishly. High-pitched moans and mewls were coming out of your mouth embarrassingly as you tugged on Jungkook’s long locks in order to steady yourself of the pleasure. 

You could feel him curl his fingers and touch your g-spot, sending sparks within you. At this point, you were barely in a stable mindset due to how good he was making you feel. You felt a knot building up in your stomach, your orgasm coming close to you. 

“Are you gonna cum now baby girl? Do you want to cum for Sir? Yeah, I know you do, I could feel it coming,” he said tauntingly, his fingers and tongue abusing your cunt and the vibrations among it made the sensation feel even better. 

“Y-yeah, I’m gonna-” you whimpered pathetically but to your dismay, he completely stopped by sliding his fingers out and removing his face. With your release dismissed like it was nothing, you felt annoyance build up on you as your body shook from the denial. 

“What the hell? Why did you stop?” you groaned, your eyes shooting sharp daggers at Jungkook. If looks could kill, he would surely be dead within two seconds. But all that’s on his face were your liquids and a cocky smirk that you want to wipe off instantly. 

“Because I want you to cum on my dick first. It’s been so long since I’ve been inside you, y’know?” he said casually, pulling off his shirt like it was nothing and revealing his impressive 6-pack. One thing that you were always in awe of was his figure. Jungkook was a really athletic person, always finding time out of his day to work out and maintain his muscular body. You didn’t mind if he didn’t have abs but it neutralized his cute face that could easily kill anyone. 

“It’s been a while, yeah? You ready kitten?” Jungkook kicked off his jeans and his boxer that covers his massive bulge was immediately in your vision. You could feel your thighs rubbing together as you were craving him inside you. 

“You’re calling me kitten now?” you mumbled shyly as he sat on the edge of the bed, palming his hardened member. 

“Yeah because you’re my cute kitty, aren’t you? Do you want to take off my boxers for me?” he smirked, knowing how excited you are to see him like this again. Like there was no tomorrow, you yanked it off impatiently and his dick sprang out, hitting his abs before standing up instantly. 

“You’re excited, aren’t you? Don’t deny it,” Jungkook teased, stroking his member teasingly before setting you down on your back and hovering above you. 

“I want it,” you mumbled impatiently, getting excited with the thought of him fucking you until you can’t walk again. He chuckled at your reaction, slowly slipping himself inside you. You shrieked from the sudden movement and tried to make yourself comfortable even though this wasn’t new to you. 

“Alright baby, let’s go,” he said gruffly, slowly pulling out and slamming it back inside within the next five seconds. You let out a scream as he picked up the pace into the all-too familiar rough and fast one. 

“Damn, you’ve gotten way tighter since the last time I’ve fucked your brains out. Feels so good for Sir,” he groaned, his dick completely filling you warm and deep to the point where it could nearly reach your guts. “Does my baby like that? Like getting dicked down where I can feel her in your stomach?” “Ahh, oh my god!” You could only moan and whine in response, pathetic noises coming out of your mouth as Jungkook’s dick hit every surface of your pussy. His veins already made it even more pleasurable and you could feel the tip grazing upon your g-spot, making you even more sensitive. 

It hasn’t been long but embarrassingly, you could feel your orgasm arrive once again due to how good his dick was thrusting into you. As he continued to drill your abused cunt, you could feel your legs tremble at the sensitive feeling and the impending sensation of your orgasm starting to grow in your core. 

“S-sir, oh my god-” you mewled as Jungkook used his force to flip you on your stomach, your face covered in the pillows. You couldn’t feel him inside you for a second but suddenly, he slammed inside you with no remorse and continued fucking you at that fast pace. 

Your cunt throbs as you prepare yourself to cum all over his dick. Jungkook could sense it too by the way your walls started to tighten around him, making it even more pleasurable than the last time you two had sex due to how tight you were. You were praying that he doesn’t deny your orgasm again but there were times where he was that cruel. But you’ve behaved enough to not warrant that type of treatment. 

“Is my baby gonna cum now? Go on, come for me, I want to see you come undone on my dick,” he chanted lowly, his pace fastening due to his orgasm coming in soon. Like his words set off a reaction inside you, you screamed out his name and squirted on his dick and stomach. Using that as fuel to keep going, Jungkook thrusts even faster than before to catch his own high as you try to calm yourself down from your own orgasm. 

“Ahh, Jungkook-” you whined from the sensitivity but you kept holding on so he could cum too. The way his sweat dripped off of his forehead and complimenting with his dark locks nearly made you want to cum again. 

“Fuck, I’m cumming, oh shit,” he moaned out, his thrusts slowing down and surely enough, you could feel his dick spurt out his seed inside you. He started to pull out and stroke himself, spurts of his cum filling up your pussy to not waste a drop. 

You and him started to breathe heavily from the intense fuck as you gingerly pulled up the sheets to cover your body. It’s not like you were embarrassed of him seeing your body, it was a habit you did after you have sex with him.

“Did you miss me?” he smiled, lying down next to you and covering an arm around your waist. You nodded, snuggling up next to him on the neck of his crook. There weren't any words spoken from the both of you for a while, instead you were just enjoying the presence of him next to you because after today, he’ll be gone again. 

If you had it your way, you didn’t want him to go but he really wanted to participate in his boxing match and what kind of girlfriend were you if you didn’t support him? Still, you loved every moment with him and he was the one thing you absolutely loved in your life. 

After a moment of silence, Jungkook broke the silence by facing towards you with seriousness in his eyes. You were worried that something may have happened, so you braced yourself with the worst that could happen. But surprisingly, his words were a bigger shock than any other disaster you could think of. 

“Y/N, do you mind if I ask something of you? I hope you don’t find it uncomfortable or invasive.” “Sure, what is it?” You should’ve known from the cheeky smirk he gave you that he was going to request this type of stuff. 

“I want to see you touch yourself. I think you’ll look so hot fucking yourself with your fingers while all I’m doing is just watching you.” “What the hell?!” 

You were lying if you said you didn’t think about it a lot, especially since Jungkook left the house today this afternoon. Now that he wasn’t there, the apartment felt lonely again and you automatically missed him. 

However, the thought of him also brings you back to the conversation you had after you two had sex after a while. 

“You’ve never touched yourself? I figured that something like that would come easy to you!” “Well- you know I have dignity right! It’s already embarrassing enough that I’m your submissive!” 

“You’re right, it’s already hot seeing you act all whiny and needy for my touch.” “Shut up! Stop making fun of me!”

You shook your head, trying to get rid of Jungkook’s words. With the intent to clean your room to take some stuff out of your mind, you walked to the shared bedroom and started to rearrange random knick-knacks that were placed in peculiar locations. 

While you were wandering around, your eye caught sight of a black duffel bag that was in a hidden corner of your bed. With curiosity, you approached it to check to see what was inside. It was heavy and filled with boxing gloves and other equipment, meaning that it was Jungkook’s. 

He must’ve forgotten it when he left today, you mused, holding the glove to your chest. A normal person would immediately contact him and give it back but it was like a living piece of him, having its name and scent. You can’t believe you already miss him that much to hold onto his boxing gloves for some comfort. How pathetic. 

The smell of him already reminded you of yesterday, when he touched you and made you feel so good. You groaned to yourself as you feel your panties dampening just from the thought of Jungkook giving you pleasure. 

“Y’know what, it wouldn’t hurt to try, right? Alright Jungkook, I’ll do it,” you muttered to yourself as you slowly grazed your fingers to your lower region. You could already feel the slick coming out of your panties, signalling how wet you were. 

You were a smart person but frankly, you were confused on how to touch yourself especially since this was your first time. Memories of the way Jungkook inserted and thrusted his fingers inside you flashed through your mind, giving you an idea on how to start. 

You slide your panties off to your ankles and slowly insert your index finger inside of your core, letting yourself get familiar to your own fingers inside of you. It sure felt different than when Jungkook did it, it wasn’t enough to completely make you feel undone. You pumped another finger inside, giving you something inside at least but it was no better than Jungkook’s touch.

“Ahh, Jungkook,” you moaned softly, flicking your own clit with your fingers which makes the pleasure at least a bit better. You would rather have him with you but it was enough to fill up a small part of his absence. Remembering every time he fucked you harshly was enough to quicken your pace with your fingers, your walls clenching around them and your orgasm closely approaching. 

Your other hand groped your breasts, flicking your nipple and massaging them while the other was thrusting in and out of your needy cunt. You were completely in your own euphoria, the world completely fading away from you. Unfortunately for you, that euphoria is only short-lived. 

An annoying sound ran throughout your room, the culprit being your cell phone. You groaned with disappointment as you attempted to pry your fingers out of your pussy and your orgasm fading away with every time the ringtone chimed. 

With your slick-covered hands, you read the text and your blood started to run cold from the words that were displayed on the screen. 

[Jungkook ♡]

- Hi babe, I’m coming home bc I forgot my boxing bag.

- Sorry that this was sudden

- Actually, I’m outside the apartment rn

You’re fucked. Absolutely fucked. But lucky, you still had a minute to spare to make it seem like you weren’t doing anything. You put his boxing glove back in the bag and wobbled downstairs to the front door. The door locks started to jingle and you immediately opened them just for him to take his bag and go. You love him with all of your heart but now’s not the time to chat with him. 

“Hey Y/N, do you have my bag?” he asked across from you, looking as good as ever. You forced a smile and shoved his bag in front of your face.

“Yeah, it’s this one right? So, here it is so you can get going now! Goodbye!” you grinned, sweat dripping down your face. 

Jungkook looked puzzled on why you were acting that way but decided to go along with it. “O-okay, thanks.” 

“Of course! Now, you should get going now! Your boxing rehearsal isn’t going to wait forever, is it?” you chuckled, trying to push him out of the door but he didn’t budge. After taking a quick glance at you (more specifically your legs and the amount of slick dripping down), he decided to stay. 

“Woah, woah, there’s something going on. Let me in,” he said stubbornly, pushing against you to get inside the apartment.  

“What are you talking about? There’s literally nothing going on! You should go back to the boxing place!” you argued but he wouldn’t listen. Jungkook grabbed your hand and pulled you upstairs into the bedroom and set you down, looking straight into your eyes. You immediately blushed as his eyes held such confusion and hunger inside. 

“Don’t lie to me, only bad girls lie. So tell me baby, what exactly is going on?”

Surely he didn’t know right? You still have some time to lie because there’s no way he knows. 

“I was taking a nap before you texted me.” 

“Without your panties on and a shit ton of slick dripping down your thighs?” he asked with confusion, pulling up your skirt and revealing your soaking pussy, throbbing due to the atmosphere. At this point, you were absolutely stuck in a corner as Jungkook stared at the way you’re completely aroused. 

“Ahh, um..” “Are you cheating on me, Y/N?” His eyes were now full of sadness and hurt and you could immediately feel your heart start to break. 

“N-no! Of course not! I would never cheat on you, you’re the one who I love! It’s just because..” you tried to get the idea out of his head, holding his hands tightly. Jungkook’s face brightened up a bit before being replaced with suspicion.

“So, what’s up? What were you doing while I left?” There was absolutely no talking yourself out of this because Jungkook would find out either way at this point. But at least it’s better than making up a stupid lie, right? “I..um..remember how you said you wanted to see me touch myself yesterday?” “Of course.” “Well...I was doing that..” you mumbled with embarrassment, avoiding his eye contact. Jungkook’s ears picked up what you said and his face lit up with excitement and desire. 

“Say that again for me?” he smirked, loving how soft and shy you were now.   

“I..was touching myself while I was thinking of you,” you said a bit loudly but it was still so embarrassing. You had no idea why he was all so happy right now but it made you happy nonetheless.

“Do you think you can show me?” he grinned, staring up into your eyes. 

“What?! N-no! It’s private right? You see, it’s private for a reason! Now you got your bag and figured out why I was acting weird so you can go now!” you snapped, heat automatically filling up your body. 

“It’s okay, I can skip practice today. This is important, why didn’t you tell me?” “It’s not something I should tell you.” “Anyways, you’ve been a bad girl today. Touching yourself while thinking of me, you’re so naughty. So your punishment is to reenact what you did before I came back and I’m not leaving until I see you touch yourself. But don’t worry, if you need help then I’m always here,” Jungkook purred, his dominant persona on. You gulped down a lump down your throat but you weren’t ready to back down to him yet. 

“No I’m not! I’m not giving up my dignity just yet!” “Come on, little girl. I know you were fucking yourself like a little whore while you were gone. Did your tiny little fingers fill you up completely, better than my cock? I know you didn’t because even though you’re a whore, you’re still such a slut for my dick.” His dirty words made you even more turned on than normal with even more slick running down your thighs. You knew it was better to obey, especially since he’s talking like this. With that being said, you scooted yourself with the back of your head hitting the bed frame. After a minute of hesitation, you lifted up your skirt which revealed your whole pussy to him. Jungkook stared intently, noticing every little twitch that it made as it’s longing for something to be inside it and how wet it has become. His lips were curled into a smirk as your fingers started to graze over your folds. 

Taking a deep breath, you inserted two of your fingers to aid the throbbing in your core. It felt  different than when you did it before, maybe due to Jungkook staring at every little movement you made.

Despite your initial refusal, having him watch over you turned you on even more and the throbbing only continued to get worse after you slowly started to move your fingers. You didn’t know how much it turned you and him on, judging from his erection in his pants. 

“Ahh, oh my god,” you moaned, adding an additional finger and groping your boobs with your other hand.

Jungkook’s mouth was in shock, shocked at how you can look so sexy touching yourself even though it was your first time. His dick was begging to be released in his now tight sweatpants but just watching you like this was more than enough.

He’s never admitted it directly to you but surprisingly, he’s such a voyeur and seeing you wrecked with only your fingers or even a toy could make him cum as hard as him actually fucking you.

“J-Jungkook, please…” you mewled, rocking your hips against your small hands in an attempt to hit your g-spot, where only your boyfriend knows. 

By now, you’ve inserted your whole hand inside of your core and it still wasn’t as satisfying as Jungkook’s long fingers inside you. You should’ve been embarrassed that his vision was at you masterbating but frankly, you didn’t care anymore.

“Shit baby girl, just like that, fucking ruin yourself,” he grunted, slightly stroking his hardened member through his sweatpants. 

“I want your mouth on me,” you cried, slowly starting to feel the same ecstatic feeling of your release. The way his eyes were set on you alone brings you closer to your high as you’re practically grinding on your hand. 

Luckily, Jungkook heard your wish and immediately brought his face down to your core, taking your fingers out and licking your clit like there was no tomorrow. His face was completely buried with the goal of eating you out and getting your cum out of you. It wasn’t a thought that ever crossed your mind but you never realized how much better Jungkook made you feel and how the throbbing seemed to go away after he was with you. His face was absolutely covered in your juices and adding to his warm mouth were his long fingers. 

“You like that don’t you, you slutty little girl?” he hummed, the vibrations of his mouth making you even more closer to the edge. You gripped onto his arm tightly, your fingernails dragging along his muscles due to how much he was giving you. 

You felt his fingers curl against you, hitting your g-spot and bringing you closer to your climax. It felt too good and you were craving to be ruined by him. Jungkook stared at the way you were shoving his hand amongst your tight little cunt, grinding on it as you try to reach your high and the squelching sounds it made. 

Within seconds, you were close to your orgasm and you were trying to chase after it feverishly. His tongue and his fingers were too much for you, even though you received them last night. They made you feel so satisfied and full, always filling you up to the edge and the way he was hitting every spot nearly made you cream all over his fingers. 

Unfortunately for you, he immediately pulled his fingers and mouth away, completely denying you of releasing. The hot feeling and intensity disappeared instantly and was replaced by the familiar throbbing as you let out a groan of disappointment. This was the second time you’ve lost your orgasm and you just wanted to release on him once more. 

“Why did you stop? I was going to-” you growled, your face heating up due to the increased temperature inside. 

“You’re not going to cum when I’m away. Is that a rule you can follow?” he said sharply, licking every remain of your juices off his face and wiping the excess with a tissue. 

“W-why?” “Instead, I want you to send me a video touching yourself but not cumming until my match. Is that an order my little girl can do?” 

You absolutely hated the fact that you won’t be releasing for a while but you didn’t want to get him mad. All you can do is just accept your fate and nod. 

“There you go, don’t worry, I’m going to make you feel so good once I win,” he grinned, kissing you passionately. You could immediately taste yourself on his lips and felt his hardened member upon you. There were more things that the two of you would’ve done but he wouldn’t allow that to happen. 

“Well then, I’ll be off. You’ll behave, right?” he parted cheerily, grabbing his bag and leaving the apartment like he didn’t just completely ate you out and denied your orgasm for the second time. As you heard the door lock, you’re left with your skirt drenched from your juices and the aching feeling between your legs. 

Oh the things that Jungkook does to you. But what would happen if you gave him a little surprise during his boxing match. Surely, you weren’t that submissive and besides, it would be fun to tease him..

“You did great man!” Taehyung cheered, high-fiving Jungkook as soon as his match ended. He shared the same with a bunny-like smile and went inside the locker room to clean up to see you. Not only did he win but he’s going to be staying with you for a while now. 

With a bright spirit, he unlocked his locker and opened his phone to a text message from you. There was an attachment with a seemingly innocent message but once he opened the video, it only fueled his desire. 

[Y/N ♡]

- I miss you so much 

Inside of the video was you fucking yourself with your fingers, high-pitched and incoherent whimpers coming out of you and from the looks of it, it was like you’re about to reach your climax. 

Within the last few seconds, it cuts to you creaming all over the bed and licking your juices off of your fingers seductively with a cute wink at the end. All of that just to rile and tease him. 

Shit, the things that this girl does to me, Jungkook sighs, feeling his member starting to grow inside of his pants again. They were simple instructions yet you can’t obey properly. Maybe it was due to you being a brat and wanting to be put in your place again. 

Well, if there’s one thing that you and Jungkook know, is that you’ll certainly not walk the next day.

a/n: honestly, i’m not too proud of this but i hope you liked it regardless! let me know what you think and have a great day <3

[kindness-ricochets]

I’ve been seeing a lot of thoughts and hc of autistic wylan lately and you seem to also be a fan of the concept. May I ask why? Exactly? I could definitely kinda see it but wanna hear you thoughts you’re always so eloquent

Hey there anon! Sorry for the delay—I’m guessing you already found an answer to this elsewhere while I was off Tumblr for a bit, but just in case, here are my thoughts. This will be heavily personal, but… well, you can’t very well ask an autistic person about autism and expect neutrality!

Autism is different for everyone and can be difficult to pin down, so while Wylan is arguably autistic, he misses several beats that for me would have made him definitively and undeniably autistic. For example, when the bells start to ring, triggering black protocol—I work in a place with a lot of bells and am frequently caught too close to one and normally press my hands over my ears until it’s over because that sound is like shrapnel raking across my insides. All of them. Not just the ear and brain parts. Wylan doesn’t have that sort of visceral reaction, but that may just mean he doesn’t have the same sensitivities that I do, or to the same level. He also never, that I recall, eats meat—as weird as that might sound, eating meat is incredibly complicated with heightened sensitivities to taste and texture. I’m not sure how old I was when I realized it was strange to get up from the table to spit out my food because it viscerally repulsed me. So it might be that Wylan is autistic and has different experiences than I do. Those are things I would include in a story as major indicators of a character being autistic. This might also mean that his father’s way of raising him taught him to hide unusual reactions and stimming behaviors. It’s not that much of a reach to assume a man who tried to abuse the dyslexia out of his son would take the same approach to autism. (More on autism and abuse later.)

So while I’m going to lay out why I read Wylan as autistic, that’s why I think it’s valid to read him as not being autistic as well. Both are valid.

A final caveat, I am well overdue for a reread of the books, so I likely left something out or could have found better examples. Take this as a few of my reasons for a personal headcanon. Anyone who feels differently, that's fine! We can each read things our own way :)

1 - Hyperfixation: The way Wylan loves music

Most of the Crows’ backgrounds color how they see the world: Kaz’s shrewdness, Matthias’s tactical thinking and superstition, Inej’s faith and Suli wisdom, etc. That’s a sign of good character writing. But very little of Wylan’s upbringing seems to have influenced how he sees the world. It comes closest when he thinks about how his father would scorn his new friends, but we never see that scorn from Wylan.

The way a hyperfixation feels, it’s like you’ve always lived in a close parallel world, never fully been a part of the other one where it seems like everyone else lives, but suddenly there’s this bright shining piece of your soul laced through the other world. It lets you connect, it lets you exist in their realm, and you can’t help but filter everything new through that lens because it’s the brightest, most wonderful thing. (I had been between hyperfixations for a while when I started a new job; six months into that work, I read Crooked Kingdom. One of my coworkers thought I had fallen in love, it was that marked a difference.)

So, combining these: Wylan never really acts like he was part of his father’s world, and indeed is in some ways separate from the other Crows, but he parses everything through music, his hyperfixation. He sets words to music to remember them, like he does with the contract. Even his own anxiety is made sense of through music, when in his first narrated chapter, he sets it to music: what am I doing here what am I doing here…. When he’s overwhelmed, his thoughts are “a jangle of misplayed chords”. The Crows have backgrounds that influence how they react to the world, but Wylan’s hyperfixation is his means of experiencing and understanding the world.

2 - Literal thinking: Wylan responds to exact words

In this post, I went into detail on the line where Wylan suggested waking up men to kill them. Wylan is generally unsupportive of killing people—Oomen, Smeet’s clerk, his father… he advocates not-murder in each of these situations. Accepting his aversion to murder, his suggestion to wake men up and kill them seems like a genuine reaction to Jesper saying he doesn’t want to kill unconscious men. Wylan takes things literally.

This happens the most with Jesper, probably because Jesper talks to Wylan the most. Nina and Matthias don’t really register him past how he might be useful, Inej is usually quite direct, and Kaz is very deliberate when he speaks with Wylan. This really interests me because Kaz tends to vary his speech more than the others do, he adapts more to being around other people. He jokes a little with Jesper, spars with Nina, speaks more openly and more sharply with Inej, and he’s precise with Wylan. Kaz may not know what autism is, but he recognizes what’s effective with Wylan.

Another example is when Wylan is sketching the Ice Court plans and Jesper says it looks like a cake. There are plenty of valid responses here: pointing out that concentric circles look like lots of things, that it’s just a sketch, telling Jesper to stop looking over his shoulder. Instead, Wylan says that the Ice Court is sort of like a cake. That… doesn’t sound like something Wylan would normally say. He’s not addressing the whole situation, he’s addressing the specific words Jesper said.

One of the most heartbreaking examples of this (to me, anyway) is with Marya. Wylan does the same thing with his mother, when she asks if he’s there for her money and says she hasn’t got any, and his response is, “I don’t either.” We understand as readers that what Marya is communicating here is that she is so accustomed to being utterly ignored unless she is being used, and if she told Wylan that no one visited but to take advantage and she assumed he was here for the same reason, he would say it wasn’t the case. But he just responds to the immediate statement.

There are a lot of examples of this.

3 — 0% perception, 100% creativity

Wylan can identify things that don’t make sense or that he doesn’t understand, but at the beginning of the series he can’t make leaps, only ask questions. On the Ferolind, he wonders about the source of water at the Ice Court; though Kaz doesn’t say as much, he was clearly wondering, too, because he eventually figured out the underground river. There’s an interesting parallel here where, in the beginning of Crooked Kingdom, Wylan asks a question about how they’ll break into Smeet’s and Kaz tells him to use his eyes instead of running his mouth—at which point Wylan is able to figure it out. I don’t think this is because he never tried before, though, but because no one ever bothered to teach him. Kaz can be harsh but he gives harsh corrections rather than harsh rejections and Wylan learns from him.

It’s hard to understand the world for people with autism. The world is designed and run by and for people whose minds are fundamentally different from ours, whose thoughts and experiences are unlike ours. Imagine trying to learn English or Spanish or Mandarin or any other spoken language if your first language was olfactory. That’s sort of what it’s like for someone with autism to just get dropped into the world and expected to figure this out.

This can be attributed to Wylan’s upbringing, but I disagree with that because none of the others were brought up in the Barrel, either, and Wylan doesn’t understand trade or politics with any special skill. Kaz wasn’t born in the Barrel, but he managed to go from “stealing is wrong” to “wrong isn’t my concern” real quick; Colm Fahey didn’t raise his son on gambling and firefights; the Ghafas never expected their daughter to be away from the family. Only Nina has relevant training—and even that’s precious little, she left school way too early. The others figured it out; Wylan needed a bit more help. He also seems surprised by the way his father conducts business. Wylan takes things on face value—like the time he’s surprised someone would do something, simply because it’s unlawful. This is something he expresses to a group of gangsters. He’s never been taught the way of any world and these things are not intuitive to him.

But Wylan isn’t stupid.

He doesn’t know how to understand the world, but he does understand how things go together. Given a pointy diamond, a handle, and a screw, he cut through Grisha glass. He carries flashbangs and magic napalm, he recreates military hardware—Wylan understands how to make things interact for a specific result. But to me the most telling thing isn’t just that he puts together chemical pieces, it’s that he figured out Jesper controlled bullets. He saw the pieces and put them together.

Wylan can understand when things don’t make sense, but he can’t make sense of them—yet when he understands things at their basic level, he understands them without preconception, for what they are. This is a very autistic way of thinking about things, it goes back to the literalism. He can’t make the leaps of logic other people can, but he also doesn’t make the assumptions they do—“I’ve never heard of a bullet Grisha, so that’s not a thing” vs “Well Jesper’s an almost impossibly good shot and he controls metal and bullets are metal, so why not?”

4 - Broken brain/body connection

Wylan’s great at chemistry and drawing and playing flute or piano—but he’s something of a disaster other times. This is in particular contrast to the other characters, all of whom are physically adept. Meanwhile it’s a challenge for Wylan to climb a rope ladder and he spends a full paragraph trying to figure out what to do with his hands. It’s easy to say, well, he’s used to a sedentary lifestyle, but at this point he’s not. He’s worked in the tannery for months. He’s just physically awkward.

I have less to say on this point only because it’s about something I don’t fully understand myself. I don’t really understand what it would be like to have a body that just… does things? Like normal stuff? Without tics and stims. No idea. Only that Wylan’s discomfort in and seeming lack of mastery of his own body feels very relatable to me.

5 - Abuse

One of the most familiar things about Wylan is how he has been so thoroughly abused and broken down that he’s afraid to do or say much of anything. Again, this is a place his background can be an obscuring factor. Of course Wylan didn’t think to blow up the walls when the first met the parem-juiced jurda and got trapped, he’s a spoiled rich kid! Except, he also startled when Jesper said his name later. Wylan didn’t hesitate because he was spoiled, he hesitated because he had no confidence.

He also thinks Kaz would laugh at him for playing music at his mother’s grave. Now, personally, I can’t see Kaz laughing at Wylan—being indifferent, thinking it’s pointless sentimentality, shaking his head, maybe commenting sharply that they need to go if they don’t have the time. But not laughing. Kaz is a snarky, sharp-edged jerk sometimes, but he doesn’t go out of his way to criticize, he just lets people know when they inconvenience him.

Wylan has been trained to identify attention as negative by an overbearing abusive father who literally saw him as less favorable than a demon. Now, that may have been hyperbole, but Jan criticized everything he could about Wylan—art, music, emotion—and made clear that he was worthless and competent to nothing. (Jan Van Eck can suck a rotten donkey dick but that’s neither here nor there.)

A lot of people with autism experience levels of bullying that have similar impacts. Or as the kids these days are calling it: we go to school. We go to school where we are weird. Where we look weird and move weird and talk about weird things and there’s a whole little bevy of asswipes to makes sure we know it. I got teased more for playing Pokemon and sitting alone reading than the kid who pissed himself onstage at assembly. (This was before Pokemon was cool. I’m old.) And that is not unusual for autistic kids. It’s also not unusual for this to be compounded by relatives or even parents who may be trying to help but don’t understand and can make things even harder.

So we can’t read social cues and we’re taught at a vicious age that everything that comes naturally to us is wrong. Imagine trying to interact in society with that background. There is no guide and most advice from neurotypical people isn’t actually what they mean. It breaks you down.

Wylan’s anxiety isn’t definitive of autism, but isn’t something that was incredibly familiar as someone whose neurodivergent experiences created a strong level of anxiety.

6 — High Compassion, Low Social Competence

Wylan isn’t very good at making friends. In fact, none of the Crows likes him much in the beginning, and only some of them soften toward him by the end. (Matthias and Nina come to respect his skills as a chemist but neither seems to particularly like him.) But you can see throughout the books that Wylan wants to connect with them and be one of them, he just… isn’t. He’s off-beat. He’s weird. He asks questions and mimics behaviors (trying to be cool and tough like Jesper, saying “mission” like Matthias does, imitating Kaz’s scheming face) but he doesn’t quite get how to adapt.

But he still cares about people. Not just them. Everyone. He cares about the people they leave in the ditch outside the prison wagon, he cares about Hanna Smeet, he cares about Alys. He cares about the people who’ll take a hit from Kaz’s sugar caper.

Wylan’s awkward social skills have undeniable big autism energy. I posit his compassion does as well. This is simply who Wylan is, and that means being someone who cares about everyone. I have nothing to back up that this is related to autism. I can say that it’s like me. (Not to brag.) I can’t turn off the part of my brain that says everyone matters. Individuals can opt out of that compassion, but they have it by default. There’s a certain agony in feeling a pull toward and love for just about everyone and yet an inability to develop meaningful connections with them, and that keen loneliness… it just burns.

Again, it’s not definitive of autism, but it’s very similar to an autistic experience.

I said in the beginning that I didn’t think Wylan certainly had autism and I stand by that, but he is a powerfully honest reflection of many people who do. So he can be understood to have autism, and that’s part of the reason some people have that headcanon.

[ohmystars-marvel]

So...you’re mine, huh? pt. 2

Pairing: Tony Stark x daughter!reader; Peter Parker x reader (eventually)

Word count: 1,798

Summary: When your mother passes, she wrote in her will if she passed when you were still a minor, guardianship would get passed to Tony Stark. You have no idea what their relationship was, despite both of them living their lives in the spotlight. However, for someone who lived in the spotlight, your mother held plenty of secrets.

A/N: So um.....surprise!!! It’s finally here!!!!! I’m sososoSO sorry ;_; life’s been kind of rough and since I’ve been in uni it’s been hard to actually get time for myself, but I’ve finally actually gotten the time to sit down and write it out. I’m sorry it’s not that long, but I promise I won’t ghost like that again, but without further ado, here’s chapter 2!

(Also credits to owner of gif)

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The funeral felt like everything was moving in slow motion. A couple of people came up to talk about (Y/M/N), and Tony noticed how whenever the people at the podium would give you a pitying glance in between their eulogies. The older man that was seating with you earlier isn’t sitting up front with you. He sits in a row behind you, leaving you all by yourself in the front. Tony also noticed how stoic you appeared to look. You sat with your head tall, your hair styled out of your face, tightly and professionally, evenly squared shoulders; the perfect sitting posture. 

A couple of people near him whispered about you. Some admired how composed you looked, just like your mother. Some whispered that you looked like you didn’t care that your mother passed, you just cared for the money that you were inheriting. Selfish brat someone whispered around Tony. 

She inherits all that her mother worked for without having to put any work ethic in

She isn’t going up to talk at her mother’s funeral? 

She does take after her mother after all..couldn’t give a care less that her parents died, why wouldn’t her daughter act the same way now? 

In Tony’s opinion, you didn’t look composed and neither looked like you didn’t care. You looked like a kid who was trying to hold it together in a room full of adults in order to be perceived as an adult. A child trying to act far more mature than their actual age.

When the funeral was over, people started getting up to either talk to you, or to talk to others around them. Disgusted with how people talked about you while a funeral was taking place, Tony walked over to talk to you instead. Besides, he felt that he needed to get to the bottom of how the hell (Y/M/N) (Y/L/N) had a kid he knew nothing about. He also wanted to figure out whose kid you were. No kid should have to get through their only parent’s funeral alone.

When Tony walked over, you were finishing a conversation with one of the guests. Tony stuck his hand, reaching for a handshake. You accepted his handshake, and surprised him when it was a solid, firm one. Guess (Y/M/N) did teach you well.

“Ms. (Y/L/N). We haven’t had the chance to meet, and I wish it was under better circumstances. I’ve known your mother since we were children, and I know what a devastating loss it is now that she’s gone. I know you’re hearing this phrase more often than you’d like to right now, but please know when I say that if you ever need help, please do come to me. Stark Tower or Avengers Headquarters, you'll be accepted anywhere there.”

“Thank you, Mr. Stark. That’s very kind of you. I as well wish that we could’ve met under better circumstances. You’re kind of my hero, honestly. The advancements you’ve made with arc reactor technology is amazing.” (Y/N) admitted shyly, while sporting a small smile.

Tony analyzed your face. Jesus, it was like Tony was thrown back in time. I looked so much like your mother when she was much younger. That’s where the similarities stopped though. Your shy demeanor and politeness were honest reactions, no acting involved. Your eyes were also different from (Y/M/N)’s. (Y/M/N) looked at everyone like a certain degree of coldness, keeping people at a distance. Yours were gentle, inviting. There’s no way this kid can be hers. She’s nothing like her. 

“Mr. Stark,” you interrupted his thoughts, “I’m only telling a select group of people who actually knew my mother well. We told the public the coroners haven’t signed off yet. That, however, isn’t true, and we'll be doing a more private service. I want to give enough time for the press to leave, and for people who my mother claimed that ‘actually cared for her money, not her well-being to leave’. I’d like it if you were to join us.”

“Please, call me Tony. I’ll be there, Ms. (Y/L/N), don’t worry. Gives us all the chance to actually give your mother the goodbye that she deserves, don’t you think?”

You blinked at him, an expression of shock that briefly broke your composure. “Of course, Mr-” she caught herself when Tony smirked at her, and she smiled sheepishly. “sorry. Tony. It’s going to take me awhile. There’ll be an announcement that’ll be given for the burial service so please, stick around and chat. Please excuse me, I’ve got to greet the others who came as well. It was a real pleasure to meet you, Tony.” She bid him a small smile and left him standing by himself. 

When you left him, Tony went to grab himself a cup of water. While sipping on his water, the older man that sat next to you before the funeral approached Tony. 

“Mr. Stark, it’s a great pleasure to meet you. Though, I wish I would be meeting you right now at something like the Stark Expo.” 

Tony didn’t respond, but took another sip to avoid the small talk that the man was trying to achieve. The man cleared his throat. 

“Right then. Mr. Stark, I’m Philip Ashcraft, (Y/M/N)’s lawyer. Could we step out in the hallway and talk? (Y/M/N) left something important to you, and the both of us would very much rather have this conversation where someone can’t overhear.”

“You find a hallway during a private funeral? Let me guess, you wanna suggest the coat closet next? I mean I guess we can meet in there, but you have to promise no playing seven minutes of heaven-”

“Mr. Stark, please. It’s of the utmost importance.”

“Why don’t you take this up with my secretary, Mr. Ashcraft? They can schedule a meeting with you within this next week. After all, I am not in the mood to discuss business right now, considering that we’re currently at a funeral.” Tony took a sip of his water, raising an eyebrow at the lawyer.

“This isn’t something that can be pushed away! Mr. Stark, this is in regards to what (Y/M/N) has left for you, and her will states for you to receive her last wishes as soon as the funeral’s over.”

Tony sighed. “In case you haven’t noticed, (Y/M/N)’s funeral is not over. If whatever (Y/M/N) left for me is that important, then you can wait until after the burial service is over. That’s when the funeral is over and that’s when you will have my attention. Until then, kindly fuck off.”

The lawyer swallowed, clearly trying to keep his temper, and walked away, begrudgingly. Victorious, Tony walked away from the water pitcher and found himself an empty corner that no one else would bother him. Besides, he had some homework to start before (Y/M/N)’s burial service started. If he didn’t know anything about (Y/N) (Y/L/N)’s existence, then how much did the rest of the world know about you?

Tony pulled his phone out of pocket, and pulled it close to his face, pretending like he was taking a phone call. “F.R.I.D.A.Y. I need you to do something for me really quick.” 

“What do you need, boss?”

“Look for anything in regards to (Y/N) (Y/L/N). I don’t care if it’s newspaper clippings, science fair photos, or even a mugshot. Anything that just proves her existence.”

“Looking online now. I’ll check back in with you when my analysis online is complete.”

“Thanks, F.R.I.D.A.Y.” Tony mumbled to himself. He put his phone back in his pocket and decided to wait out the thirty minutes by himself.

******

Tony watched as time passed and those that were clearly not invited or were exhausted from trying to butt into (Y/N)’s business left the room. Tony saw that besides himself, you, that asswipe of a lawyer, and approximately two other people were invited to the service. He noticed that the one who told him who you were wasn’t included in the group. For some reason, that didn’t sit well with him.

The burial service went by just as smoothly as the service given inside. Tony noticed that when you placed flowers on the headstone, your eyes were glassy. So this was the group you allowed yourself to be vulnerable with, not terribly vulnerable, but enough to know that this clearly affected you. When the service finished, the two others were conversing with you, one holding one of your hands as you wiped your eyes delicately, clearly still trying not to cry. That’s the time that the lawyer decided to act. He put a hand on your shoulder, and whispered something in your ear. You nodded and went back to listening. The lawyer made his way to Tony, and opened his mouth to speak, but Tony beat him to the punch.

“Alright, bug-a-boo, now we can talk.” 

“Do you mind if we talk inside, Mr. Stark? I am required to have your signature.”

Tony sighed and made an after you gesture with his hand. “Christ, what is it that (Y/M/N) left behind that is so goddamn important that you have to dump on me at a funeral and require me to sign?” 

Ashcraft clenched his jaw, and opened the door to the funeral home and stalked into the room where the public service was held, Tony close behind. Ashcraft unlocked his briefcase, which held an envelope that was thick with papers. He pushed it into Tony’s hand with plenty of force.

“The thing that (Y/M/N) is ‘dumping’ on you is her child. She left guardianship claims on (Y/N) to you, Mr. Stark” Ashcraft said bitterly.

Tony hurried to open the envelope. There’s no way. There’s no fucking way you actually left your kid to him. It’s gotta be some kind of a joke. At least, that was what Tony tried to convince himself before he found a handwritten will that was in your handwriting. The last sentence is what made his heart drop in his chest.

In the case of my passing before (Y/N) can legally care for herself, I leave guardianship rights to Anthony Edward Stark.

Tony’s phone buzzed in his pocket. F.R.I.D.A.Y.’s search had been completed, and only included one document. Tapping on the document, it opened into a scan of your birth certificate. What drew Tony’s attention was the name that was entered for the father’s name. Tony softly scoffed to himself.

“So...you’re mine huh?”

[got-svt]

for tonight 

order up !  large caramel latte at 75 % sweetness, an oatmeal raisin cookie, and a slice of cheesecake with doyoung for anon <3 order notes : doyoung x reader, angst, but the end is kinda fluffy, exes to lovers, some mentions of other nct members look, something’s written on your cup… hi anon! for oatmeal raisin cookies the prompt is either enemies or exes so i hope you don’t mind that i chose exes haha. anyways, i hope you enjoy reading this as much as i enjoyed writing it! <3 - ren

summary: it’s taeyong’s wedding and you find yourself having no choice but to share a bed with your ex-boyfriend, doyoung. word count: 2.75k ( so sorry, i might have to change the word count on large orders asdfghkl literally all my oneshots are over 2k why did i think i could stick to under 2k for ca )

You stared ahead, eyes unblinking at the sight. Sure, the sight of a single bed wasn’t remotely daunting to most of the human population, but not to you. Not when you had to share it with your ex-boyfriend, Doyoung. He wore the same look of shock you did, mouth parted, eyebrows raised, and a cold drop of sweat dripping down his forehead. Beside you, you could see his fists clenching and unclenching — like he was trying to keep himself calm, but to very little success. Unfortunately for him, you were also feeling very on edge as you bit the inside of your cheek — waves of nervousness building up from the very pit of your stomach, soon enough they would eventually have to come crashing down. 

You shouldn’t have come in the first place. If it weren’t for the incessant pestering of your friends, you wouldn’t have come at all. But it was Taeyong’s wedding, it was too big of a deal to ditch just because you didn’t feel like running into an ex. 

“Seriously, Yn?”  Taeyong pouted after hearing your initial hesitation on attending, “You’re skipping my wedding, the biggest day of my life, because you’re afraid you’ll see Doyoung? May I remind you that you were my friend before he became your boyfriend.”

You huffed, crossing your arms in front of your chest, “I know that, but what if things are awkward between us and we ruin your day because of it?”

“Hasn’t it been a couple of months already? I’m sure both of you moved on.” Taeyong rolled his eyes, “I’m not saying both of you have to spend the day together, I just want you to be there.”

You eventually agreed, though it took convincing from at least three other people besides Taeyong to get you to finally go. Johnny promised that he would sit beside you during the ceremony, you subtly asking to sit as far away from Doyoung as you possibly can — which meant tugging on his sleeve the second you caught sight of him. Taeyong was kind enough to move seating arrangements around, placing you in between Jaehyun and Mark and having you four tables away from Doyoung. You spent most of the reception dancing with Yuta and Haechan, laughing loudly whenever you stepped on their feet or when they spun you around a little too quickly. For most of the day, Doyoung had been in the back of your mind, enjoying the company you kept and catching up with your shared friends. But the day eventually had to end, nightfall slowly creeping up on you before shaking you back into the reality you had to force yourself to face.

“Okay, thank you.” Doyoung politely spoke before placing the telephone back on its receiver. His suit’s jacket was now off, neatly folded across the back of a wooden desk chair. The top two buttons of his crisp white button-down were undone.  

You had to stop yourself from staring too long to be considered appropriate, shaking your head slightly. “Well, what did they say?”

Doyoung winced at the sharpness in your tone. You didn’t mean to sound so harsh, or cold for that matter, the effects of the long day had been wearing down on you and you wanted nothing more than to take a warm shower and fall into a dreamless sleep surrounded by the fluffiest pillows this luxurious hotel had to offer.

“Hotel’s all booked up because of the wedding. We can’t get another room.” He sighed, taking a seat on the edge of the bed, the soft mattress dipping ever so slightly.

You pinched the the bridge of your nose, shutting your eyes as tightly as you could — as if that would somehow help you will into reality that this was not happening. The two of you booked this hotel room weeks before you had broken up, the minute you had finally gotten wind of the where the wedding was going to be held. In the sudden whirlwind that was your breakup, neither of you had remembered to cancel and book another room. With the the nearest hotel somehow fifty miles away, you slowly braced yourself to deal with the unfortunate situation of having to share the room with your ex-boyfriend.

You opened your eyes to see Doyoung hunched over, eyes trained on his phone, very clearly frustrated. His fingers moved across his screen quickly, face slightly lit up from its harsh glare. You tilted your head to the side, watching as he eventually shut his phone off and ran a hand through his already messy hair. “I asked our friends if I could sleep in any of their rooms. All of them answered no. All full apparently, so no space for me.”

You scoffed, there was no way none of them couldn’t possibly spare a bit of space for Doyoung. He nodded in agreement at your annoyance. Both of you knew all of your friends rooted for the two of you, they were the reason you had even gotten together in the first place. You knew Taeyong ever since you learned how to walk, and you saw no harm in going on a blind date with a friend he had claimed would be absolutely perfect for you. Their denial only triggered memories of their exaggerated wails of heartbreak when they found out about your breakup. 

“It’s fine, maybe I can sleep on the tub or something. You can take the bed.” Doyoung offered, motioning a hand towards the bed before heading to the bathroom. You rolled your eyes. Always the sweetheart, you thought. He was gone for all of five seconds when you heard his voice from the bathroom, soft yet clearly frustrated, “There’s no tub.”

Doyoung made his way over to you, his hands behind his back. There was a certain nervous energy that surrounded his figure, you wonder what was it about you that made him feel this way. Granted, this had been the first time you were going to be alone with him in months, you don’t even recall seeing him in person before the wedding. He refused to meet your eyes, gaze firmly on the carpeted floor beneath him, “I’ll take the floor instead.”

You knew there was no way you were letting him sleep on the floor, you were already about to protest his suggestion of sleeping on the tub until he made his way to the bathroom before he could even respond. Sure, you were broken up, but that didn’t mean you were that cold of a person to deny him access to a bed. “No.”

“What?” Doyoung looked up at you in surprise, eyes growing wide.

“Listen,” You sighed, not wanting to make this a bigger deal than it already was, “it’s been a long day, we’re both tired, both of us can take the bed. It’s just one night, what’s the worst that could happen? We can go back to pretending the other doesn’t exist in the morning.”

Doyoung blinked back at you, processing your words before nodding slowly. He didn’t feel like arguing with you anyways, not when the last time he saw you was in a screaming match that lasted hours and had you storming out of his apartment. “Fine, I assume you’ll take the right side of the bed? You can have the extra pillow too.”

You stepped back, trying your best to not seem too shocked that he still remembered your sleeping preferences. “Yeah, thanks.”

Doyoung nodded in acknowledgement, before both of you tried to get as much of your night routines done without bothering the other. The silence in the hotel room was palpable, breaking every now and then by the sounds of water running, doors opening and closing, bare feet prodding on carpeted floors, shuffling about as you narrowly avoided looking at or bumping into each other.

This is only for tonight, you and Doyoung thought to yourselves.

“Good night, I guess.” You mumbled, as both of you turned off the lamps on your respective sides of the bed.

“Night.”

The two of you were submerged in darkness, the only whisper of light coming from the moon that peeked through the curtains. You and Doyoung retreated to opposite edges of the bed, leaving an obnoxious amount of space between the two of you as you slept on your sides. You shut your eyes, hoping that sleep would come to you as soon as possible. 

It didn’t, but only because your thought kept drifting back to the man that lied beside you. It was almost impossible to keep your mind at bay, not when he was right there, just at arm’s reach — so close yet so far. You couldn’t help but look for the sound of his breathing, remembering how it used to comfort you on nights you had trouble sleeping, patterning your own breaths after his. Something in you wanted to turn around and face him, to lay your head on his chest and listen to his heartbeat. His arm wrapped around your waist, pulling you closer in the way he did before.

The truth was, you didn’t know the exact reason for your breakup. All you remembered was crying, screaming, eventually storming out. It was all the little moments that both of you held in, eventually bursting out when it was all too much to hold. All those late nights he came home from work late, the small seconds of jealousy that welled up between the two of you, all the cancelled plans, missed dates, moments of misunderstandings that never got brought up or resolved. 

You groaned as quietly as you could, not wanting to wake Doyoung up if he was already asleep. Maybe it was the effect of a long and tiring day, maybe it was because you had just been at a wedding and love was in the air, maybe avoiding him the entire day wasn’t the right move, not when it only made you miss him more. You couldn’t help but want to reach out for him and little did you know he felt the exact same way.

Doyoung felt cold, a chill creeping up his spine, goosebumps littering the little areas of skin he had exposed. He could hear your sighs, the groans that escaped your lips, and Doyoung knew you were having trouble sleeping. He wanted nothing more than to hold you in his arms, the warmth of your body pressed against his. When he spent years falling asleep with you close to him most nights, it was hard to forget all of that in a matter of months. 

He remembered how his heart ached when he saw you lead yourself and Johnny away from him, when he saw you seated tables away with him, talking it up with Mark and Jaehyun. But it shattered when he saw you dancing with Yuta and Haechan, smile wider than he had ever seen before, looking like you were having the time of your life without him. 

Doyoung didn’t know how you were only keeping it all in, pretending like it didn’t bother you. 

You turned to lay on your back, eyes wide and wake, looking up at the ceiling. There was nothing to look at, everything was painted in a pale shade of gray. There’s shuffling beside you as Doyoung turned to lay on his back as well, hands neatly folded on his stomach.

“Can’t sleep, Yn?” He asked, eyes also fixated on the ceiling. 

You shook your head but quickly realized he probably couldn’t see you, “No. I suppose you can’t either.”

“Any reason why?”

“Thinking…” You trailed off, afraid of what you’d say if he dared to ask more.

“About?”

You sighed, unsure if you should actually answer. There was never really any closure to your breakup, you could only remember leaving. “Us, like what exactly happened?”

There was a certain amount of vulnerability in your voice, it was quiet and soft, yet it still pierced through the air and rang in his ears. He couldn’t believe you, how could you ask him that? 

“Yn, you left me.” Doyoung answered back, he tried to sound nonchalant, but his voice cracked at the final word, giving his true emotions away.

You deserved that, the little clench in your chest at the sadness in his voice. “But you didn’t go after me. You just let me leave. You let me go so easily.”

“Did you want me to go after you? Would you have taken me back if I did?” Doyoung turned on his side once again, now facing you, “I thought you were done with me.”

You kept your eyes on the ceiling, trying your best to ignore Doyoung’s piercing gaze. You couldn’t look at him, not when the guilt of your actions finally caught up with you. It was a selfish decision really, to leave so suddenly, not giving each other a chance to possibly work it out. You still don’t know why you had done it, or at least made no effort to contact him after, leaving both of you to just assume that things were over. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to bring that up.” You bring your hands up to your temple, trying to rub away the headache that was beginning to form. Should you say anything else? Did you even want to? Your chest tightened, feeling tears form in the corners of your eyes. You had spent the entire day keeping it in, spent the months after your breakup pretending that this was for the best, that this was what you wanted. The walls you built around yourself finally came crumbling down, “I just…I missed you. I can’t even remember why we broke up in the first place, why I left…”

You expected him to turn away, to tell you it was too little and far too late. Instead he reached out to you, the suddenness of his action had you yelping in surprise. He pulled you to his chest, closing the distance you had put between yourselves. Doyoung whispered, his breath ever so slightly tickling your ear, “I’m sorry for letting you leave.”

“No,” You shook your head against his chest, tears staining the white cotton shirt he chose to wear to bed, “I’m sorry for leaving in the first place.”

Doyoung didn’t say anything else, letting you cry into his chest as he rubbed comforting circles on your back. You calmed down after a few minutes, but you still gripped his shirt tightly, like you were afraid that you were going to lose him again if you didn’t. 

It was quiet, but it wasn’t the same kind of silence that descended between the two of you earlier in the night. This silence was more peaceful, content. You could hear the sound of his heart beating, relaxing and consistent — lulling you to sleep. Doyoung felt your breath against his neck, warm and inviting, reminding him that you were once again in his arms. The heaviness in his chest that plagued him the past few weeks was suddenly gone, replaced with a sense of peacefulness. 

“You know, something in me says that you didn’t cancel this hotel room on purpose.” Doyoung teased, knowing it would get some sort of reaction from you.

And it did. You groaned as you hit his chest, in the way you always did whenever he teased you when you were still together, your hand still lingering on his chest even after you hit him. Unfortunately, you exerted a little more force than you originally intended. 

“Ouch!” He exclaimed, but you could tell he wasn’t actually hurt when you saw the ghost of a smile making its way to his lips, “Are you trying to flirt with me or start a fight?”

“Which would you prefer?” 

“Definitely flirting.” Doyoung grinned, wrapping his arms tighter around you. 

You hummed, content as sleep finally began to take its hold on you, “What happens now?”

“We can talk about it in the morning.” Doyoung kissed your temple, one hand running through your hair, “We should go to sleep.”

You snuggled further into his embrace, a content sigh escapes Doyoung’s lips. There was still so much left for the two of you to talk about, to actually work on if you wanted your relationship to last. But that was all to be discussed in the morning. Right now, for tonight and this very moment, Doyoung only decided on one thing: there was no way he was letting you leave again.

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