#i guess there's his brother but he's showed up like twice? and elaine but she keeps fantasy roofieing him

[mashmouths]

i need to make a venn diagram of character traits shared between mizu bes, simon ss, and lancelot timk because oh? my god.

[inkedinshadows]

Echoes of the Bond

Pairing: Azriel × reader

Summary: part 2 of 3 of "A Helping Hand". When mates are reunited, Y/N grows curious about what the mating bond is, causing Azriel's brain to short-circuit.

Warnings: none I guess?

Word count: 3.7k

A Helping Hand (part 1)

֍֍֍֍֍

Y/N got out of the tub, wrapping her body in a soft towel.

For the last three weeks, she'd been able to take a bath on her own. Azriel had helped twice after that first time, and even Mor had tried when Azriel wasn't around. But Y/N wasn't comfortable with her there, not as she was with the Shadowsinger. Knowing she couldn't always count on him for something as basic as washing herself, she'd learned – or relearned, actually – how to do it herself. There were still bad days when the first few minutes in the water had her gasping for air, but they were now few and far between. And when they did occur, she usually imagined Azriel's heartbeat beneath her palm, just like the first time, and she'd calm down. She never told him that, though.

Sliding on a dress, she headed out of her room and toward the dining room. She was getting used to living in the House of Wind, almost looking forward to having meals with the Inner Circle. Elain and Nesta were still having a hard time adapting to this new life and refused to leave their rooms, and Y/N would visit them sometimes, but they'd never really been close. Out of the three sisters, Feyre was her friend, and she missed her. Things would be easier if she were back in the Night Court.

When Y/N entered the room, Azriel and Cassian were already there. She offered them a smile as she sat at the table, a plate of her favorite pastries appearing before her as soon as she did. Even after a month in Prythian, she was still trying to wrap her mind around magic. Real magic, right in front of her.

“How are you today?”

Y/N turned to Cassian with a small smile. “I'm feeling better every day.” She glanced at Azriel, who always seemed worried she might be lying about it. “And I haven't had any nightmares in a few days.”

Azriel inclined his head, a barely-there gesture she might have missed if she hadn't grown used to his subtle movements. Ever since he first helped her, she had become keenly aware of his every move.

“That's good,” he replied, his eyes lingering on her for a second longer before he returned his attention to his breakfast.

With Cassian's focus still on her, she picked up one of her pastries as she addressed him again. “And how are your wings?”

“Feeling better every day,” he answered, repeating her words with a mocking smile. He even extended them behind him to demonstrate the truthfulness of his statement. “Biggest wingspan getting back on track, I can tell you that.”

Y/N chuckled. “You have the biggest wingspan?”

“Oh, you bet I do.” Cassian's grin was nothing less than smug. “I could show you exactly how big–”

Azriel's snarl interrupted him. “Watch it, Cassian.”

But Cassian didn't seem particularly bothered. “Why? She asked,” he replied with a shrug. “I was merely offering her a chance to see for her–”

He was cut off by Azriel's low growl. Y/N looked at him, her brow furrowed in confusion at the reaction. She'd never heard such a tone from him before, never seen him so on edge. Glancing from one Illyrian to the other, she realized there might be something she wasn't aware of, or maybe wingspan was just a very sensitive topic for them.

Cassian lifted his hands up in surrender, finally picking up on his brother's rising irritation. “Relax, Az.” He glanced at Y/N, then back at him. “It was just a joke, brother.”

But Azriel still seemed tense, and Y/N reached over to him to place a hand on his arm. “Azriel,” she said gently, “are you alright?”

He’d always been there for her since she’d arrived at the Night Court, and she now wanted to do the same for him, even if she didn’t know what had triggered such a reaction from him.

Those beautiful hazel eyes slid to her hand touching him, then to her face, and he finally relaxed as he gave her a nod. “Yeah… sorry about that,” he murmured, casting an apologetic look in Cassian’s direction, receiving only a dismissive wave of hand in return.

As Y/N pulled back, a few tendrils of Azriel's shadows slithered between her fingers and curled around her wrist. Their master looked at them as if they were disobedient children and Cassian's eyes widened, but she only chuckled.

Shadows lingered in the darkest corners of her room, swirling under furniture or inside cracks as if they were trying to hide. But she knew they were there – she'd first noticed them one day when Azriel had brought her a tray of food, back when hunger was an unknown feeling and she didn't eat. Though neither she nor Azriel ever said anything about it, knowing his shadows were always with her was a comforting thought. But they'd never openly approached her before.

“They seem to like you,” Cassian pointed out, his voice muffled by the food he had just stuffed in his mouth.

Y/N watched the shadows linger around her wrist as a bracelet, a warm feeling sparking in her chest, there and gone as soon as the shadows hurtled back to their master. “I think they’re cute,” she said with a smile, her eyes meeting Azriel’s for a moment before they both looked away. She could have sworn a faint blush crept up his cheeks. It only made her smile grow.

Cassian seemed to notice it too, because he paused mid-bite. His eyes narrowed as he focused first on his brother, then on her, then on Azriel again. And then his jaw almost dropped, his eyes now widened.

Y/N was about to chuckle at the sight, but Azriel was even more serious than usual and just gave Cassian a short nod. She frowned, aware once more that there was some kind of silent conversation going on between the two brothers. But neither of them bothered to enlighten her, and she didn't ask. She was still new to their world, and to their group. They would have told her if it was something they thought she should know, she was sure of it.

They continued to eat their breakfast, though a somewhat tense silence had now settled over them. Azriel kept his eyes on his food while Cassian was miserably failing at hiding his grin as he glanced between the two of them. On her part, Y/N felt like anything she could say would be the wrong thing, so she didn't say anything.

Once they were done eating, she stood up, intent on heading back to her room or maybe stopping at the library Rhys had shown her a few days before. But Cassian called out her name and she stopped in her tracks, turning around in time to notice Azriel's warning look at his brother.

“Would you like to leave the House for a few hours?” Cassian asked her with a smile. “Az and I could show you around Velaris. You said you wanted to see it yesterday.”

“I did,” she confirmed, surprised by the offer.

Azriel was now watching her, more relaxed than a few minutes ago as he waited for her answer. And she didn't even need to think about it.

“I'd really like that, yes.”

“Good!” Cassian almost burst out of his seat and guided her towards the doors that led out onto the balcony, Azriel trailing silently after them. “Then I hope you're not afraid of heights.”

Y/N frowned. “Heights? No, why?”

It was Azriel who answered this time. “The easiest way to reach the city is by flight.” He walked up to her, standing so close that his scent enveloped her, and she had to fight not to close her eyes and breathe it in. “Will you trust me to fly you down?”

She smiled then, soft and warm. “Az, of course I do.” After everything he’d done for her, there was probably nothing she wouldn't trust him with. “You know that.”

A coughing fit drew her attention to Cassian as he tried to suppress a giggle.

“What’s going on with you today?” she asked with a chuckle.

“Oh, nothing,” he snickered. “I'll see you down there.” He extended his wings and with a powerful beat, he shot skyward.

Y/N turned back to Azriel with a raised eyebrow, but he simply shook his head. “Ignore him,” he said, his tone somewhere between amused and annoyed. “He acts like a big child sometimes.”

She chuckled again, but it quickly died when Azriel stepped even closer. He moved slowly, as if he wanted to give her all the time to change her mind and push him away, but she didn't. And then his arms were at her knees and her back, and he effortlessly picked her up and cradled her to his chest.

Her heart skipped a beat and she tried her best not to blush at the proximity, the gentleness he was holding her with. It reminded her of when he'd washed her, every movement careful and studied so as not to startle her. That feeling in her chest came back, but it was more like a gentle tug. Toward what, she didn’t know.

“Are you ready?” His voice was soft, like he didn't want to ruin the moment, but his eyes bore into her and she could only nod, her ability to speak momentarily forgotten.

Next thing she knew, they were airborne. Y/N wrapped her arms around his neck for more support when she realized just how high up in the sky they were, the House of Wind growing smaller behind them. She forced herself to peer at the city below them. And she stopped breathing altogether.

If the view from the House of Wind was beautiful, then there were no words to describe it from right above it. Velaris was sprawled below them, shining in the light of the morning sun, the river flowing through it to the sea, and as they slowly descended towards the city, Y/N could make out people in the streets, the sounds of music and laughter filling her ears.

“It's… so beautiful,” she murmured, her awestruck tone bringing a smile on Azriel’s lips.

“You should see it at night,” he replied, flying around until he spotted Cassian waiting for them. “There's a reason why it's called the City of Starlight.”

“Maybe you could take me flying at night, then.”

She didn't know where the words had come from, why she'd suggested it. Azriel definitely had more important things to do than show her a night view of Velaris. Sleep seemed like a good option, for example. Her cheeks flushed, and she looked away.

But Azriel landed and gently placed her on her feet again, his hands lingering on her waist for a moment before he pulled away. “Maybe I could.” There was no hint of playfulness in his voice. He really meant it.

Before Y/N could answer, Cassian approached and clapped his brother on the shoulder. “There you are! I was starting to think you two would never come down.”

Azriel shot him a glare and simply gestured for them to start walking down the street. Cassian was still speaking, but she wasn’t listening, too busy taking in their surroundings to focus on anything else. She'd never seen a city before – none were left in the human lands – and Velaris was bustling with life. She marveled at every shop, every little corner, every painted house.

They had reached the end of the street, a bridge over the Sidra now in front of them, when both Cassian and Azriel tensed. Y/N turned to them, mouth already open to ask what was wrong, but a small cry of surprise came out instead as Mor suddenly appeared next to them.

“We have to go,” was all she said, her voice firm. She was wearing black leathers like the Illyrians, as if she was ready for a fight.

The three of them exchanged a glance, Y/N even more confused than before. Azriel simply said, “I'll take her to the townhouse,” and scooped her up in his arms once more. She only had time to see Mor grab Cassian's hand and winnow away before they were soaring through the sky again.

“Az, what's going on?” she finally asked, turning her face to look at him.

His unreadable expression only caused her to be even more nervous, yet Azriel didn't answer until he landed on the doorstep of a house and set her down. “It's Feyre.” Her heart jumped at the words. “She's in the Winter Court. We're getting her back.”

The door opened behind them, and Amren appeared. She lifted a brow at the sight of Y/N, probably not expecting her, but she simply looked at Azriel. “Go. Now.”

The Shadowsinger looked at Y/N one last time, gave them a sharp nod, and shot to the skies.

“Come inside, girl.” Amren stepped aside to let her walk by. “Looks like we've got some waiting to do.”

~~~~~~

Waiting must be some kind of torture.

Apparently, Amren didn't know much about Feyre's situation. She only explained that Rhys had spoken mind-to-mind with all of them, saying his mate had left the Spring Court. Other than that, she had no idea if Feyre was fine or hurt.

But Y/N wasn’t worried just about her friend. She was worried about Azriel too, as if he weren't a centuries-old warrior who could definitely look out for himself. Maybe it was just Amren's presence that set her even more on edge. The short female made her nervous, perhaps due to the power that seemed to thrum from her, or the way she seemed to look at her as if she could see into the depths of her soul.

After an hour that felt more like a century, five figures winnowed into the living room. Y/N flinched, then shot to her feet and ran to Feyre, not caring about the dirt that covered her friend as she held her tight. Feyre stumbled back a step, probably caught off guard, but hugged her back a second later.

“Y/N.” She pulled back, scanning her head to toe. “Are you alright?”

Y/N almost laughed at that. She wasn't the one who'd just needed a rescue party. “If I'm alright? Are you alright?”

Feyre nodded, but her attention quickly shifted. “Yeah, I'm… I'm alright.” Her eyes were searching the room, as if looking for something. Or someone, Y/N guessed.

Letting go of her friend, Y/N realized there was another person with them. A red-haired Fae with a mechanical golden eye. She'd seen him before – that day in Hybern. Now that her recollection of those events was clearer, she remembered him claiming Elain was his mate just as she came out of the Cauldron, right before they'd shoved her in.

Cassian, Azriel and Mor were assessing him, as if deciding what to do with him. But she paid little attention to what was being said, focusing instead on the Shadowsinger, searching for any sign of discomfort or – gods forbid – wounds. She sighed in relief when she found none, unsure of why she'd been so worried in the first place.

The conversation halted, and she whirled to see Rhysand appear in the doorway. Feyre sank to her knees, tears in her eyes, and he was immediately there to hold her. “My love,” he whispered, though they all heard it in the silence. “My mate.”

Once again, Y/N felt a slight tug in her chest, and her gaze was drawn to Azriel. She found him already looking at her, but when their eyes met,  he seemed to shrink into his shadows like he wanted to disappear. She unconsciously rubbed her chest as she averted her gaze.

“Go find somewhere else to be for a while,” Rhys ordered them.

One by one, they filed out the door and onto the street. Azriel declared he was going to fly her back to the House of Wind, the others announcing they’d be waiting in Amren's apartment until given the order to return to the townhouse. And so Y/N found herself in Azriel's arms for the third time in the span of less than two hours.

Despite her increased heart rate, she felt like a bit of a burden, needing to be carried around by him when he obviously had more pressing matters to take care of. Yet she couldn't deny the safety she felt in his arms while they flew toward the mountain and its house.

“Az,” she said after a couple minutes, “that male you brought back with Feyre–”

He looked down at her. “Lucien?”

Y/N nodded. “That day in Hybern, he… he said Elain was his mate.”

Azriel aimed for one of the balconies of the House of Wind. “What about it?”

“Fey and Rhys are mates as well,” she added, her brow furrowed. The High Lord had referred to her friend as such many times over the last few weeks.

The Shadowsinger landed and set her down, looking at her as if urging her to continue, not sure what she was trying to say. But he seemed to be holding his breath.

Maybe she should just let him go back to the others and keep her questions for later. But instead she asked, “What is a mate?”

Azriel tensed. She thought he might not answer, but then he spoke, his tone carrying a hint of reverence. “Mates are… equals, in every way. It's a very rare bond, but it's so deep and powerful that it's cherished and honored above others. Even marriage.”

Y/N rubbed her chest, the spot where she kept feeling that pull. Azriel cocked his head, noting the movement. She should definitely let him go, yet he made no movement to leave, and she found herself blurting out, “Do you have a mate?”

His shadows stilled their constant swirling around him. Maybe it was rude to ask, or it was a sensitive topic for him. Whatever the reason, she shouldn't–

“I do,” he answered, right as she was about to apologize. “I've found her recently.”

Her heart dropped. She didn't know why the idea of him with a mate bothered her, but that damn feeling in her chest grew stronger, and she had to resist the urge to rub it again.

“How is she?”

Why couldn't she keep her mouth shut, why did she have to keep asking questions? Why did she even care if Azriel had a mate or not? She'd just learnt what that meant anyway. At least her voice sounded soft and genuinely curious, not at all clipped – a small consolation.

“She is… kind, and gentle.” He spoke slowly, his words chosen carefully. But then his eyes softened and his shadows began to move again, a few tendrils stretching out towards her. “She's a lot like you, actually.”

All she took from his answer – what she chose to focus on, anyway – was that Azriel saw her as kind and gentle and that she reminded him of someone as important as his mate. Though it still stung a little, if she had to be honest. 

“Well,” she replied, her tone lighter as she took a step back. She smiled up at him. “She's lucky to have you, Az.”

She meant it. If he was even just half as sweet and caring with his mate as he'd been with her that first week after Hybern, then his mate was a really lucky girl. But the thought caused guilt to eat away at her insides. All those times she'd asked him for help – with her baths or to stay with her until she fell asleep – were all moments she'd stolen from him when he could have been with his mate instead. Every time he'd brought her food and checked on her, or even just spent a few hours in comfortable silence as she adjusted to her new life and body.

“I'm sorry,” she murmured, unaware of the flustered expression on Azriel's face after her last comment. “When you helped me, I… I never meant to keep you from her. I hope she doesn't–”

“Don't worry about it,” he cut her off, a small smile now playing on his lips. “I'll always be there to help you when you need it.”

Y/N smiled again, whispering a ‘thank you’, though she was still not entirely convinced. But Azriel extended his beautiful wings, ready to return to his friends.

“You know how to get back to your room from here, yes?” he inquired, glancing behind her at the doors that led inside. When she nodded, he continued, “I'll see you later, then.”

A beat of his wings, and he was gone.

With a sigh, Y/N turned to walk inside, mindlessly brushing that same spot near her heart.

~~~~~~

Azriel used the few minutes of flight to reel in his nerves.

What was he thinking, telling Y/N his mate was a lot like her? The question had caught him off guard, and his brain had stopped working. He couldn't very well tell her they were mates – not there, not like that – but he should have come up with some better answer.

She’s lucky to have you.

The words echoed in his mind. He knew she meant it, like she seemed to mean everything she said. But would she still feel lucky once she learned it was her, that she was the one who had him from the first moment he saw her a month ago?

The only thing he was sure about was that Y/N could feel the bond. He'd seen her rub her chest multiple times, always in the same place, right where he felt their bond in his own chest. She just didn't know what it meant. He couldn't blame her for it, not when she was still new to the faerie world.

Even as he joined the others in Amren's apartment, it was difficult to keep his attention on the conversation, on keeping an eye on Lucien, on what their next step would be. For the first time in decades, he was having troubles focusing, his mind constantly shifting to Y/N.

He couldn't go on like this. He had to tell her. He'd waited because she was still processing everything she'd gone through, but now she was feeling better. And she'd asked about mates. She deserved to know.

Azriel made his decision. Next time they'd be alone, he'd tell her the whole truth. Hoping she'd understand and not push him away.

He wasn't sure he'd be able to handle it.

֍֍֍֍֍

Read part 3 here!

Taglist: @mrsjna @navyblue-eternity @paintedbyshadows

[thewayshedreamed]

Hello my lovely! Congrats on 800!! 💋 I have, of course, a smutty Elriel prompt for you. 😉 However, I can’t seem to choose between the two. So, how about you surprise me?

5. Just let me finish this/this level and I swear I’ll go down on you until you finish at least three times.

Or

18. If I have to pull over, you won’t be able to walk for the next week.

👅🥵

Hi, my dear Tay! As requested, here is some shameless Elriel smut for you!

I went with this prompt (I got the other one for Nessian, too, so I wanted to give this one its own)—

5. Just let me finish this/this level and I swear I’ll go down on you until you finish at least three times.

I also combined this with a smut prompt from @achelois-daughter [thank you so much for sending it in!]— “I’ll think about this when I’m jerking off later.”

This is another one that refused to be contained to a word limit. You and @perseusannabeth broke me, but I'm not even mad about it. 

NSFW. At all.

[too many] words.

----

As much as Elain loved watching her boyfriend play pool against his brother, it was causing her some issues. For one, they were in public, so she was trying to keep from ogling him as shamelessly as usual. The game itself created some challenges considering he was often bent over the table, the muscles of his back rippling beneath his charcoal tee as he squared up his shot. The sight was enough to tempt her to slip her body between him and the table, to let him bend her over it, too.

"I know that look," a dark voice rasped. Elain blinked, realizing she had long since drifted into her vivid daydream.

Azriel stood in front of her, holding the pool stick in a loose grip to keep it from falling over. He tapped it mindlessly a couple of times on the bar floor and used his free hand to slide up one of Elain's thighs. She spread them to give him space, hoping his firm ministrations over her skin wouldn't send her toppling backward off the bar stool. She didn't bother with coy.

"We should go."

Azriel leaned in to nip her ear, his rough chuckle sending gooseflesh down to her toes. Her hands settled on his waist, but she couldn't promise they wouldn't wander the longer he stood there.

"The others will know why we're leaving if we go mid-game."

"That's fine," she challenged, leaning her head toward his affections. "Let's go. Please."

He pulled back with a glint in his eye that told her he was pleased with her manners. She wasn't above begging if that's what he wanted, but he wasn't that easily deterred. Azriel could be such a tease.

"Just let me finish this, and I swear I'll go down on you until you finish," he rasped. "At least three times." Dark promise was laced into his every word.

An embarrassing sound left her throat before he gave her a gentle squeeze and resumed the game. With each passing turn, Elain was dangerously close to walking over and shoving each pool ball into a pocket by hand. Finally, Cassian won, and they were shoving through the bar hand-in-hand toward Azriel's car.

His eyes were impossibly dark once they were inside. He gripped her by the back of the neck to pull her into a rough kiss, muttered a low curse, and turned toward the steering wheel to start driving.

Elain was almost squirming in her seat. The tension between her thighs was enough to snap, and with each passing minute, she had to resist the urge to run her hand below her waistband to take care of the ache herself.

As if reading her mind, Azriel gripped her thigh to bend her knee and prop it against the center console. His fingers trailed down the inside of her thigh, and without taking his eyes off the turn he made, he slid his hand beneath the hem of her skirt. His clever fingers dragged over the thin cloth of her underwear, and she bit her lip when they dipped beneath to stroke her.

"Fuck," he muttered, his dark gaze sliding to her and back to the road. "How long have you been this soaked, El?"

Her head hit the rest, her eyes rolling at the divine pressure he applied. She moaned into the quiet car, fighting the urge to ride Azriel's hand.

"I—" Her breath hitched at his increased pressure. She swallowed to compose herself. "I tried to tell you we should go."

"Baby," he chided. "You didn't tell me you were aching like this."

Her teeth pinched her bottom lip, her eyelids suddenly too heavy to keep open. Elain gave herself over to his soft ministrations while trying not to scandalize anyone driving alongside them. Traffic moved quickly, so her odds of being caught were low. Her luck had never been the best in that department though.

Azriel pulled his hand away slightly, but before she could let out a whimper of protest, his finger hooked the elastic of her underwear. He let it go with a soft pop as he rasped, “Get rid of these for me.”

She didn’t need to be told twice. Shoving them down her legs, she pulled them from around her ankles and placed them in his outstretched hand without question. Azriel tucked them into the pocket of his jeans to save her any unintentional scandals the next time someone rode in his car. There was no chance she would remember to grab them upon their arrival at the apartment.

Azriel's hand returned to where she wanted him— no, needed him— the most. He parted her with his fingers, trailing down to tease her opening before pushing two fingers inside her. His eyes never left the road, not even when Elain looped her arm through his and dug her nails into the cotton covering his bicep. The muscles worked beneath her hand in time with his fingers, and something about the added sensation beneath her palm had her leaning her head against his shoulder as he worked her.

Elain's breath hitched when his palm tucked tightly against that sensitive bundle of nerves he'd teased before, and she turned her face to muffle her cries against his arm. Her restraint snapped, her hips rolling shamelessly of their own accord. She was already so close, and they hadn't yet managed the 15-minute drive. Azriel curled his fingers tighter, and the intensity of her pleasure had her free arm jutting out to grip the dash.

His breath was warm against her ear when he nipped the delicate skin, his voice gravelly when he asked, "Who are you holding back for, El? I want to hear those sweet little sounds you make."

With another thrust of her hips, her release taunted a blazing bath down her spine. Every muscle grew tired under the tension, and she gave herself over to it, leaning back in her seat and gripping the headrest with her hand. The other still pressed crescent moons into his skin, her whimper filling the car and her back tightly arched. Gods, she hoped no one was in the neighboring lane, but at least Azriel had the good sense to keep her skirt draped over his hand to avoid exposing her. Not that her blissed out expression left any room for imagination.

"Az," she cried. "Fuck. Please. I—" Did she remember how to construct a complete sentence? Did she care?

The heel of his palm ground harder against her, and she shattered. A string of incoherent sounds left her as she came, only interrupted by Azriel's deep groan at the way she pulsed around his fingers. Her hips rolled until the waves settled, her body trembling when he slowly slid his fingers from her. He brought his fingers to his mouth to clean them before adjusting his hardness roughly in his jeans, moaning shamelessly into the quiet. The sound made Elain's blood heat, and she reached for his lap, eager to bring him even a fraction of the pleasure he'd given her.

To her disappointment, Azriel stopped her and laced their fingers together. They pulled into the parking lot, and he whipped into a parking spot with a palm pressed against the steering wheel. The ignition had barely died when his mouth was on hers once more.

"I need to get you inside," he growled, sliding his tongue alongside hers.

Elain grew impatient and reached for him. Much to her irritation, he stopped her again.

"That wasn't the deal. I'm looking forward to having you come on my tongue." He winked and opened the door. The light of the car cast a glow over them and showed the mischief dancing in his bright hazel eyes. "That one didn't count toward your three, by the way." Elain wasn't sure she could manage three more, but she didn't dare discourage him.

With that, he stood and shut the door behind him. His legs carried him over to her door in only a few long strides before he was pulling her out of her seat and leading her to the door hand-in-hand. His urgency was the only thing that kept her wobbly legs beneath her while he fiddled with his keys and gained entry to the apartment. One quick pivot, and he had her against the wall inside, the planes of his body pressing deliciously into hers.

His kiss was sure, demanding. Elain could hardly keep up with how ravenous he was in seeking her pleasure, especially as his strong hands gripped her hips and guided her toward the table in the entry way. Without a word, Elain slid on top, sending various objects careening to the floor.

Azriel was on his knees before she could blink, his tongue parting her in a long, fluid stroke. Her knuckles were white as she gripped the edge of the table with one hand, and the other slid into his hair to allow her some tether to reality. He groaned at the feel of her nails scraping at his scalp, only spurring his eagerness.

Her thighs were perched over his broad shoulders, and his long, skilled fingers pressed into each of her thighs as he worked. He alternated between long sweeps of his tongue and flicks over her sensitive bud, and it only took a few passes to have her throwing her head back as she came again. He tapped her thigh with a finger, but he didn't say a word while he worked her down from her high. She guessed he had plans to move them; further evidenced by his standing, his powerful hands gripping her waist and hauling her body against his on the way to the couch.

He deposited her roughly beneath him, his hands firm and impatient over the curves of her body, her petite breasts. Elain whimpered at the loss of his weight when he eased onto his knees, tearing roughly at her clothes to bare her entirely.

"Fuck," he growled.

She could feel the heat of his gaze over every inch of her body. She stretched her arms over her head and arched her back, knowing the lean lines of her body tortured him and tested his self-control. His knowing gaze met hers while he draped her leg over the back of the couch and shifted back to lay on his stomach. To accommodate his height, he straddled the couch; one leg bent behind him and the other knee supporting his weight against the floor. Elain draped her other leg over his shoulder before he got the chance, filling his expression with sheer determination as he gripped her thighs and pulled her roughly against his face.

His grip loosened on the thigh draped over the couch, and his knuckles dragged delicately along the back in a teasing path. Elain keened at the contrast of his delicate fingers and the strong hold of his other hand, sending her in search of anything to hold onto as he teased her. While she appreciated the delay to give her body time to recover from two earth-tilting orgasms, impatience crept over her skin like a faint breeze. How Azriel managed to kindle both in her simultaneously, she would never understand. She would never complain, either.

Like a man starved, Azriel dragged his tongue in slow torment up her center and back down to her opening. The broad pad of his thumb pressed against her clit, earning a choked cry from deep in her throat. That pressure continued in slow, concentric circles while his tongue worshipped her in time. Elain dissolved into incoherent cries, chopped words and curses, and futile attempts to roll her hips. Azriel's other hand never let up its hold, and it was enough to keep her lower body resolutely in place.

All it took to send her over the proverbial edge was the slide of his tongue against her opening, the way he curved it just inside to press against the textured skin of her inner walls. Elain bowed under the force of her release, crying out to the gods as if it was enough to worship them through the echoes against the walls.

Elain relaxed the tension in the muscles of her back, noting the light sheen of sweat erupting over her body. Azriel applied grounding pressure to her clit while she panted, the fingers of his other hand tapping her thigh. Her eyes snapped open to see his eyes on her, and she tried to communicate with her eyes that there was no way she could manage another change in location. That was until she realized the motion of his fingers differed slightly from before, a gentle double tap against her skin compared to a single tap when she came atop the entryway table. The mischief in his eyes confirmed her suspicion and sent a spark of incredulity down her spine.

The cocky bastard was counting*.*

Elain wanted to be annoyed at his presumption, but who was she kidding? Azriel played her body with the skill of a musical prodigy. He knew exactly what he did to her and how often. The signals of her pleasure were imprinted within the steel trap of his mind, and all she could muster was gratitude for it.

She offered a sleepy, sated smile, running her stiff fingers through his dark hair. The kisses he pressed to her inner thighs were gentle, even though she noticed how his hips ground against the couch cushion. She cupped his cheek, brushing her thumb over his elegant cheekbone.

"You're too good to me," she rasped, her breath hitching when his mouth pressed against her center.

Azriel grunted his approval. "I'm not done with you yet, baby."

Elain drew her bottom lip between her teeth and dropped her head against the couch. "Let me take care of you, too," she pleaded, "before you fuck me boneless."

His dark chuckle made her skin erupt in gooseflesh, and she knew before he said a word that he would refuse her.

"I'm a man of my word." Why did she bother arguing with him? "The last thing I want you to worry about is me, alright?" Another kiss to her core, a flick of his tongue over her clit. "I'll think about this, about you, when I'm jerking off later."

With that, he released his grip on her thigh in favor of pinning her open for him with his other hand. His attention returned to her core, sending her resolve, her common sense, any principle out the window with her pride. She reached over her head to grip the cushion along its seam against the arm of the couch, fighting and failing to keep her hips still in the process.

Azriel wasn't deterred by her undulations. His lips shifted their attention to her sensitive— too sensitive— bud, massaging it with the lightest suction to avoid overstimulating her. His finger slipped into her without resistance, and he halted his advance to pull back and insert a second finger alongside it.

The pressure was divine, the stretch around his fingers— perfect. Elain moaned shamelessly, uncaring that her hips were frantic or that she was covered in that fine layer of sweat from her scalp to the tips of her curled toes. He had reduced her to a rolling, begging mess. The edge of release burned through her tired muscles, screamed against the building tension. How much pleasure could she afford before her body gave up entirely?

Az moaned at her growing wetness, growled at the withering mess she was. Despite the guttural reaction he had to her arousal, his lips remained gentle while he crooked his talented fingers at the perfect angle. Elain's thighs trembled under the force of her climax. Her voice was little more than a sob when she called out his name among other, barely coherent, words of praise. He eased her down from the pleasure and braced her with a hand against her lower abdomen to ease his fingers out of her.

With her eyes screwed shut, chest rising and falling in desperation, she didn't see Azriel shift onto the couch close to her. With tender fingers, he eased her iron grip from the edge of the cushions so that he could lift her into his lap. He didn't bother to tap a rhythm against her skin that time. There was no denying how hard she'd come.

Exhaustion lived in every nook of her body, leaving her limp against him the second her head hit his shoulder. She could feel his hardness against her backside, but he held her as if it didn't exist at all, petting her hair away from her face. His lips were soft against her forehead, her temple, her cheek before he stood and carried her to the bedroom, laying her atop the cool sheets.

"Sleep, baby," he murmured.

Elain barely heard the order before she followed it, tumbling into deep, contented oblivion.

----

[onceupona-chaos]

SJM setting up a forbidden romance

(And why I think ACOSF was written to set up Elriel)

This is my interpretation and obviously an Elriel post. So if that's not your cup of tea, be warned.

I made this post to basically organize my thoughts and then I decided to post it (lol). Here I talk why I think Elriel will be endgame based on my perspective that SJM already set up a lot of things that point to Elriel and a forbidden romance.

ACOSF is the first book of a new trilogy, which means SJM wrote it with an overarching plot in mind that we began to know in ACOSF. So whatever happens in ACOTAR5 is a direct consequence of the events in ACOSF.

For example, SJM won't kill Koschei and write another plot. She made her decisions when she was writing ACOSF and the overarching plot already started to be established.

I already made a post talking about the plot. I think Elain is the only character that can move the plot forward, because she's Made, therefore she can find the fourth trove and she has a connection with Koschei, which combined with how little we know about her and her powers makes her the perfect main character. But here I want to talk a little about how Sarah wrote ACOSF preparing Elain's character in terms of romance and how she set up a future forbidden romance.

At this point, it is canon that Elain is Azriel's secret, I'm not going to talk too much about, because you can check this amazing post here.

SJM structured the first book of the new trilogy around the ideia that something is deeply tormenting Azriel to the point he can't sleep and then we find out he has a secret. The bonus chapter made it canon: his secret is Elain, so there's no going back from that.

Just from the book, we know that there's something wrong with Elain and, whatever it is, she is hiding it.

Elain had already departed with Feyre, claiming she had to be up with the dawn to tend to an elderly faerie’s garden. Cassian didn’t exactly know why he suspected this wasn’t true. There had been some tightness in Elain’s face as she’d said it.

Alright, so the regular reader knows something is up with these two characters. (That alone is already a reason for the next book be about them, but moving on)

But when ACOSF is read with the perspective of a future forbidden romance in mind, we understand precisely why SJM needed us to know some very specific information.

Azriel's personality traits

SJM highlighted specific personality traits of our bat boy:

Az had a vicious competitive streak. It wasn’t boastful and arrogant, the way Cassian knew he himself was prone to be, or possessive and terrifying like Amren’s. No, it was quiet and cruel and utterly lethal. Cassian had lost track of how many games they’d played over the centuries, with one of them certain of a win, only for Az to reveal some master strategy. Or how many games had been reduced to only Rhys and Az left standing, battling it out over cards or chess until the middle of the night, when Cassian and Mor had given up and started drinking.

Sarah made a show to tell the reader the fact that Azriel is competitive, so she needs us to remember that.

That whole scene had one job: to emphasize that Azriel is competitive and strategist.

Now, if Azriel is giving up on Elain and moving on to another character, why bother to let the reader know he doesn't give up easily? If he is going to just give up on the only female that is making him get over his five hundred years passion, why bother to write a scene where he spares with Cassian only to tell the reader that?

Mostly important, why tell the reader that in countless times, Azriel seemed to be loosing, but he turned things around and won?

He's a strategist. Don't forget he planned his strategy for the snowball fight for a year.

“It seems you’ve forgotten how much of spying is waiting for the right moment. People don’t engage in their evil deeds when it’s convenient to you.”

Cassian rolled his eyes. “I stopped spying because it bored me to death. I don’t know how you put up with this all the time.”

“It suits me.” Azriel didn’t halt his sharpening, though shadows gathered around his feet.

When I read this for the first time, I honestly hadn't understood the meaning of the shadows gathering around his feet and it clearly had a deeper meaning.

But reading again, SJM used Cassian's character to emphasize that Azriel waits for the right moment all the time. Not only when he is spying. Being patient, calculating, persistent are arguably Azriel's strongest personality traits, at least the ones that are highlighted in ACOSF. Sarah is letting us know Azriel plays the long game and doesn't give up.

Every information SJM is giving us regarding Azriel (and Elain, more on her later) is essencial for a forbidden romance story. If you know what's going on with these characters, all pieces of information just... click together.

Elain's personality traits

This is a bit more complicated, mostly because Elain is passing through an inner change, which means being prepared for her arc.

However, SJM compared Elain to Azriel in ACOSF:

“Elain was the only one who guessed. She caught me vomiting two mornings in a row.” She nodded toward Azriel. “I think she’s got you beat for secret-keeping.”

We already know from ACOMAF that Elain is good at secret-keeping. But here SJM not only reminded us that, but she compared Elain to Azriel in secret-keeping, emphasizing both of them are probably the best in secrecy among the IC.

Remember: these two characters are clearly hiding something in ACSF. It's not a coincidence that SJM compared them in this case.

She scanned Elain from head to toe, wondering if she’d been taking lessons in stealth either from Azriel or the two half-wraiths she called friend.

SJM compared Elain's abilities to Azriel's (and his spies) not once, but twice. And if you take into consideration the previous books, it's not the first time she compares these two characters.

Both of them showed defiant behavior

Defiant: refusing to obey authority

Elain:

“What happened.”

When Rhys spoke like that, it was more of a command than a question.

Elain waved a hand in dismissal before flinging open the veranda doors and striding into the open air.

And of course, he have that fight with Nesta. Nesta isn't exactly authority, but she was described as "Elain's guardian", which means their relationship was at least a little hierarchical.

Azriel:

“No,” Feyre and Rhys said at the same time, in the same breath.

Azriel’s eyes shuttered. “I wasn’t asking for permission.”

“We take no risks,” Feyre said, voice flat with command. “Pull all your spies out.”

“Like hell I will.”

Honestly, is this the guy people are thinking that's going to give up on Elain because of Rhy???????

SJM deliberately let us know about them getting over their previous LI

I've seen a lot o people arguing that "they can't be endgame, because the first couple never is".

But... are we forgetting that they were in love with two different people before?

When Elain met Azriel she was deeply in love with Graysen, and he was still into Mor. The readers didn't even know about Mor sexuality then.

Until ACOFAS, we can see that both of them are not entirely over their LI yet.

Elain:

“I don’t want a mate. I don’t want a male.”

She wanted a human man.

Azriel:

Azriel choked on what I could have sworn was a laugh, his normally shadowed face lighting up as Mor bustled in.

Az, to his credit, gave Mor a smile of thanks, a blush creeping over his cheeks, his hazel eyes fixed on her. I looked away at the heat, the yearning that filled them.

However, we get to see that they are slowly getting closer. Azriel shows he's uncomfortable in spying on Lucien, Elain's throat bobbs at the sight of him, he seeks her out to wish happy Solstice, she gives him a present, they stay up past three in the morning talking and on and on.

Months go by. We already knew they are getting closer and then we have this:

Elain:

She knew Elain had given her maidenhead to Graysen a month before they’d been turned Fae. Elain had been glowing the next morning.

Elain cocked her head. Didn’t dissolve into the crying mess she usually became when Graysen came up.

Elain was glowing: she was in love, happy. She loved Graysen. And now she is getting over him. Not only that: SJM made sure to tell us she has had sex before (and enjoyed very much lol). Elain is clearly being prepared for her arc in terms of character development, plot and romance.

And Azriel:

Mor no longer sat beside Cassian, draped herself over him, and Azriel … those longing glances toward her had become few and far between. As if he’d given up. After five hundred years, he’d somehow given up.

Few and far between. It's a process for both of them to move on. At first they were friendly and then it became something more.

Azriel didn't wake up one day, realized that his brothers were mated to Elain's sisters and went: WAIT A MINUTE I WANT ONE. I would argue he showed interest in Elain since their first meet, just like Cassian showed interest in Nesta. However, Nesta and Cassian weren't in love for anyone else, differently from Elain and Azriel.

Also, Elain and Azriel are very much quieter in comparison, so... it makes sense that they needed more time to get closer and be romantic interested in each other.

But again: why bother to tell us both of them are moving on from their previous LI? Why tell us Azriel doesn't give up easily? Why tell us they are both good at keeping secrets and are hiding something?

SJM knew exactly what she was doing.

[echotzzz]

Elriel obvious hint from Acosf

Some people really do think that when SJM said it was obvious it reflects gwnriel and Elucien. I mean if we need to go to the internet to search for the bonus pov and justify our ship endgame based on only that chapter and not from the 4 books in the acotar series then NO it is not obvious( and still many casual readers don’t know about it).

But do you know what is obvious??

Azriel stiffened. “I know. I helped rescue Elain, after all.” Az hadn’t so much as hesitated before going into the heart of Hybern’s war-camp.

Nesta met his stare, knowing he was the only one aside from Feyre who could truly understand her hesitation. He’d gone with Feyre into the heart of Hybern’s camp to save Elain—he knew the risk. “We won’t make the same mistake twice.” She believed him.

Not only once but twice the readers were reminded that Azriel went to the hybern camp to save Elain with no hesitation while knowing there was risk that he could not survive. Both Cassian and Nesta acknowledged this and Nesta said aside from her and Feyre, Azriel will understand her hesitation to scry. Not Elain’s mate Lucien but Azriel

Why does Nesta afraid to scry? Because it might backfire and caught Elain once again. The fact that Nesta put Azriel on the same level as her where Elain is concerned should indicates to the readers that Azriel care about Elain beyond just acquaintances or friends. And no not as brother sisters thing because as of now we know he would beg on his knees for Elain’s coochie.

Azriel stilled. “What happened to Elain?”Cassian waved a hand. “A fight with Nesta. Don’t bring it up,” he warned when Azriel’s eyes darkened.

Azriel stiffened, an outright sign of temper from him as he said quietly, “There is an innate darkness to the Dread Trove that Elain should not be exposed to.”

Nesta saw the blow land, like a physical impact, in Elain’s face, her posture. No one spoke, though shadows gathered in the corners of the room, like snakes preparing to strike.

This is the subtle hint sjm gave to us that if anything that hurt Elain will give out certain reaction from Azriel. Not Feyre her sister, not Lucien her mate but once again Azriel. And also, it affects him so much that he ready to use his shadows to strike at the threat that harms Elain.

This is the progress and build up we can see from Elriel that even though they do not interact but the body language, the eyes, the emotion being projected shows that it is not a normal behaviour from people that only just friends. It will give readers some idea that there is something more between these two

&&

Azriel stood in the doorway, monitoring them. As if he’d heard Elain’s sharp laugh and wondered what had caused it.

Notice that Azriel doesn’t wondered at how big Elain’s boobs are or how that body curve when she laughing so hard that makes her bending over at the waist but rather wondering the cause of her laugh?? I know sick right he is so toxic i hate him🙄

Before this eventhough in the process overcoming her trauma, we could see Elain’s giggles or smile but sharp laugh?? Azriel want to know who/what cause Elain sharp laugh and sudden happiness.

And the last hint and imo the biggest Elriel hint from acosf

Nesta met the shadowsinger’s stare and he gave her a nod. Then his gaze shifted to Elain, and though it was utterly neutral, something charged went through it. Between them. Elain’s breath caught slightly,,

Why mention there is charged look if it is only lust?? Why Elain breath caught as if she could see a vision from that one look??

And then this happens

Letting him see that she understood why he stood in the doorway, why he wouldn’t go near the fire. His secret to tell, never hers.

Casual readers that doesn’t know the existence of the bonus chapter till this day will still wondering what Az’s secret might be ( in which is Elain ). If Elriel is not endgame then why leave their hints to be answered in the next book?? Why leave so many questions left unanswered and only for Gwnriel to happen??

And also not to mention some of Elain’s hints that have connection to Azriel’s

She scanned Elain from head to toe, wondering if she’d been taking lessons in stealth either from Azriel or the two half-wraiths she called friends.

“Elain was the only one who guessed. She caught me vomiting two mornings in a row.” She nodded toward Azriel. “I think she’s got you beat for secret-keeping.”

Again why on earth does SJM hints at us that Elain now have connection with Azriel in spy behaviour. And also constantly remind the readers that Elain in fact have befriended Nuala & Cerridwen who are spies trained by Azriel. If Elriel is not endgame wouldn’t it be wise to limit any connection between the two of them and instead focus on the superiority of the intended endgame couple??

Lets not start on Elucien because the only obvious thing to me is red flag

But do you know what is not a red flag??

Lucien and Vassa. 🦊🦢

I could see Elucien coming if Lucien had not show the subtle hint towards Vassa like how Elriel doing. The devotion Lucien has towards Vassa> Elain and also Elain look the weakest and not herself the most when Lucien is around💀. Hell he even didnt try to bridge the gap with Elain as if he has no interest in her beyond the mating bond. The gift he bought is only the obligation he thinks he need to do as a mate. Elucien exist because of the mating bond. Remove the mating bond and we got NOTHING AT ALL.

And also all the significant and important event happened in Elain’s life, Lucien was not there. Elain was kidnapped, Azriel to the rescue. Elain killed the king, Azriel provide the weapon. How can Elucien get a book if they dont know whats up in each other lives. Does Elain even knew about the band of exiles? Does Lucien know that Elain loves baking and made new friends? No Nada no hints that indicates otherwise.

[whereflowersbloom]

Azriel’s POV

Okay I see a lot of people hating on Azriel after reading his POV. I read it twice and I still feel like there’s so much missing, I feel conflicted about it and I can’t blame you guys. As much as I love Sarah for creating such a complex and beautiful character as Az. I have the feeling this was not the appropriate way to submerge in his deeepest thoughts.

First, people see what they want to see. From the other books we saw glimpses of Az, descriptions of his mannerisms, gestures, how he is described through the eyes of other characters. Once we believe we know a character well enough to guess, or it’s pretty clear what emotions a character is experiencing. We have this idea of who we think he is. But Azriel is not only a damaged, abused male who has suffered for over 500 years, he is a flawed man too. He has faults and makes mistakes like any other person.

Still, I refuse to believe he sees Elain as a woman he wants to possess, only atttcated physically to her because she’s this immaculate beauty, because that’s how Azriel sees her, the light of dawn, the embodiment of innocence and kindness, someone he does not want to taint and yet he desires more than any other female. He’s an over give hundred years man, a soldier, a shadowsinger, who has mastered his emotions and desires and yet he’s tempted to the point he’s conflicted, fighting the,, resisiting. So as I suspected he’s in the house of wind to avoid Elain, stay away from her.

I’ve seen Az show Elain kindness, softness, their interactions are limited but there’s tenderness, something is blooming there I know. I don’t think this is only jealousy, envy of his brother, the longing for a mate.

Okay, also we have Gwyn now in the picture, and this is starting to look like a love square. I don’t think Mor is actually part of this anymore. I’, not done reading but I’ve seen some Azriel - Gwyn interactions there’s something there too but again Sarah only gave us breadcrumbs. Not nearly enough for us to figure out what’s going to happen and I’m pretty sure she did this on purpose.

Azriel is not a beast for desiring a female, he is a male, for some reason Sarah tends to write them as horny teenagers thirsting for their mates/love interest. My theory is that Az has been so wary, suppressing his feelings, for such a very long time that he hasn’t allowed himself to connect emotionally with a female, not since Mor at least. Since it was a devastating blow.

So idk man, I’m waiting for Sarah to take me on a journey through Azriel’s past, overcome his fears. I want to see a vulnerable Azriel, opening up, talking about his scars and wounds, crying. I want emotional Azriel, the man behind the shadows. I want to see him fall in love genuinely. Not because he wants a mate or a partner but he wants the person, want Elain for being Elain or Gwyn. Whichever way Sarah decides to go. Nonetheless, I will not stop rooting for Elriel. Because if you ask me nothing says I love you like I choose you over my own mate.

So do not start hating Azriel because we only got to see a side of him that we have never seen before. It’s just a piece of him. A breadcrumb. Remember how the first book we thought Taimlin was the one and then we saw his true self. Yup. If Acosf was a roller coaster. I feel like Azriel’s book is going to be even a wilder ride.

Two things:

Az, my boy, you do not regift a present you intended for your love interest to another female even if you have a crush on her.

Rhysand, ‘The mating bond chooses poorly sometimes. The mating bond can be rejected’. Man, don’t go back on your words pls bruh.

[smallerinfinities]

mad woman (nessian)

a/n: In which Nesta copes and Feyre interjects

hello! again, new here ☺️ this kind of just...happened? the idea came upon me late talking with @harryandmolly​ idk anyways hope you enjoy! if you don’t like modern AUs then this probably isn’t for you, but if you’re into that sort of thing and all the warnings that go with it then I would love to hear what you think!

tw: angst, coping with death, sex work, language

original art by the incomparable charlie bowater

Things were great until they weren’t. 

Nesta Archeron had been engaged. She had a father who loved her and a sister she adored. Until the plane crash. Until a faulty navigational system sent her fiancé, her father, and her sister into the side of a mountain on the way to her destination wedding.

She had gone to Hybern early, to get settled and calm her nerves, to plan around the security that Feyre had hired so that Rhys could attend the wedding. Nesta had told her not to bother, Rhys could stay in Velaris for all she cared. She’d gone and set it all up anyway. But it had all exploded when Nesta got the call that her world had ended and all she had left was a sister she resented and a brother-in-law with too high a profile. She was a tragic headline. A fucking media circus. 

High Lord Rhysand’s sister-in-law left at the altar in tragic plane crash. 

The press camped outside her Velaris studio for weeks. They’d only left when she had thrown a maelstrom of empty glass bottles out of her windows at them. Empty because she’d come back to Velaris and crawled inside a whiskey bottle and stayed there. She might be more whiskey than person now. The days were passing at a rate she couldn’t gauge anymore. Had it been hours or days or months since she’d picked up the phone in the middle of placing name cards on tables in the reception hall? She didn’t particularly care. Everyone who mattered was dead and being drunk was better than counting the minutes since her future had evaporated. 

A knock sounded at the door. 

Nesta removed the eye mask she was wearing and squinted at her phone. 7:15 AM. She’d been up all night again, had just laid down to try and sleep. Who the fuck was at her door at this hour?

She knew but she opened the door anyway. 

Feyre Archeron, High Lady of the Night Court, was in the hallway looking worried. Well, Nesta assumed she was looking worried. She could only see Feyre’s furrowed eyebrows between the oversized sunglasses and the wide-brimmed sun hat. She had wrapped her red-gold hair, twin to Nesta’s own color, into a low chignon to hide it away from prying eyes. A disguise. Nesta snorted. Feyre Archeron could be noticed in this city by a blind man a hundred yards down a busy avenue. It was the way she carried herself, the easy confidence. No one could mistake her for anyone but their High Lady. 

“What do you want?” Nesta crossed her arms over her chest, blocking the view into her apartment.

“Well, to start, a little respect for the person who has been footing your liquor bill for the last eight months.” Her red lips were turned down at the corners, tight. She angled her head past Nesta’s shoulder and crinkled her nose, “God, I don’t even need to see in there to know what it must look like. I can smell it from here. And I can see you.” 

Nesta kept her face a mask of annoyance but considered how she must look. Compared to Feyre’s heavy cream sweater and perfectly tailored tan pants, anyone would look slovenly but Nesta knew she'd let herself go.

A while ago, she’d taken to wearing Tomas’ shirts to bed. Then eventually she wasn’t getting out of bed so it was all the time, changing only when she found the strength to shower. Today’s shirt—more like this week’s shirt if she was being honest with herself—was an old striped dress shirt, one Tomas had maybe worn twice with a suit. It now had several stains from whiskey and whatever takeout she had ordered last night. She couldn’t quite remember. Chinese? Greek? 

It didn’t matter. Nothing mattered. Her marriage was supposed to be one of convenience. They had been friends, had both gotten older and then tossed in the towel on dating. Tomas needed a cover for a lifestyle his parents forbade and Nesta...well Nesta wanted to be comfortable. Nesta wanted her sister to stop meddling and leave her alone. At least, she thought she did. 

But, no one had known. No one except Elain.

It didn’t matter. It didn’t matter. It didn’t matter. 

Her hair hadn’t been washed in days, it was matted in some places, stuck to her face in others. She knew her eyes were hollow, sunken in and lacking that fire people saw when they looked at her. She’d been avoiding her own reflection for weeks, had even covered the mirror by the door. Months ago, apparently. Eight months. 

Had it really been that long? Had she really been moving from bottle to bottle, takeout container to takeout container, for eight whole months? She’d barely left the apartment, had lost her job, happy to exploit Feyre’s seemingly unending pity. Pity she guessed had run out. 

Today. 

She didn’t care about that either.

“Come all this way to chide me, dear sister?” Nesta curled her lips as she moved aside to let Feyre through. Might as well let her see. 

“Thank you.” Her sister breezed into the little sitting area and stopped dead.

Her eyes scanned the room, marking the recycling bin first, overflowing with empty glass bottles. All different labels. Whatever Nesta could find quickest. Then the kitchen counters, filled with boxes of crackers and empty ramen noodle packages, cans of tuna and an open jar of peanut butter, anything that could be quickly consumed with minimal effort. She didn’t want to die, but she hadn’t exactly been concerned with living either. 

At last her eyes darted to the corner, over by the window, where a white dress hung from a hunting knife that had been punched through the wall. Straight through the center of the sweetheart neckline. Nesta had lost count of the weeks it had been there. A reminder. A memorial. Little circular burns littered the fishtail skirt, remnants of late nights with too much booze and an ashtray full of half-smoked blunts still on the windowsill. 

“Oh, Nesta.” Feyre’s hand came up to cup her mouth. Nesta raised her chin, refusing to feel reprimanded. “I’m sending Alis this afternoon.” 

“I can look after myself,” Nesta hissed through her teeth. 

“Clearly,” Feyre threw her arms wide and turned in a circle, “you cannot. You know I came here hoping you were getting better. I gave you space, knew you blamed me for what happened. At least partially. But it’s time, Nesta. I lost them too. But I don’t have the luxury of drinking and smoking my way into oblivion on my sister’s dime.” 

“Is this just about the money?” Nesta asked incredulously, “I’ll fucking pay you back if that’s what you’re worried about.” 

“No, no,” Feyre brushed a lock of hair out of her face, frustrated, “it’s not the money. I don’t care about the money. Neither does Rhys. We just want you to come back to the land of the living.” 

“Ah, yes. The royal We.” Nesta sat abruptly on her sunken couch and leaned forward, not caring that she was just wearing a pair of underwear beneath the oversized shirt, “how is dearest Rhys? High Lording as well as ever I presume. Now with better reasons than ever to hate me.” 

“He doesn’t hate you,” she said too quickly, wringing her fingers for a moment before she whispered, “we...we missed you at the funerals.” 

Nesta’s blood ran cold. Her eyes swam with tears that wouldn’t fall.

“I know why you didn’t show,” Feyre couldn’t look at her, “I almost understand it...but we still missed you. Father was interred with full honors of the Night Court. I’m having a garden planted for Elain up at the estate. You should come see it when you’re ready.” 

Nesta really needed a drink. Feyre needed to leave. She couldn’t do this. Not now. Not today. Not ever. 

“Get out.” 

“Nesta—”

“Get out.” Nesta’s voice was low, lethal. 

“Fine,” the High Lady voice was back in full force, “I only really came to give you this.” She pulled out what looked like a business card from her freshly pressed pant pocket, “this might seem...forward. But, I think it might help you. Rhys and I use the service sometimes when we’re looking for something different. I know you won’t go see someone. This might be a different kind of therapy. Tell her I sent you, she’ll know what to do.”

“Fine, fine,” Nesta took the card from her, hoping it would get her to leave faster, “get out.” 

“Nesta,” Feyre stopped and took a breath, her hand wrapped around the doorknob, “please do be discrete.” 

Nesta furrowed her brow, but nodded. She had been, for the most part. Except on nights she was too blitzed to remember her own name, let alone that her sister was High Lady of this region. 

“I’m still sending Alis,” Feyre wrinkled her nose again as she opened the door and strolled out. And that was that. No goodbye. They hadn’t ever been good at those. 

Nesta blinked at the door, the apartment suddenly feeling small and cramped. She turned over the card in her hand. It had only a name and a number. AMREN. 202-555-0187. She flicked it onto the table. Whatever, she thought as she sauntered over to the kitchen and took a swig from the nearest whiskey bottle. 

↞↠

“Ms. Archeron.”

“Yes?” The tone of the man’s voice made her drop the place card she had been holding. 

“There’s been an accident. A plane crash,” he hesitated. Her eyes stopped seeing. Her body shivered with a bone-rattling chill despite the summer sun streaming into the room through the open windows. They couldn’t be—

“Say it.” Her voice was a breath on the wind. 

“There were no survivors.”

She didn’t hear the rest. Someone was screaming. A crash, glass breaking, warmth sliding down her leg. A sharp, metallic smell in the air. She couldn’t hear them calling her name, couldn’t feel their fingers gripping her skin, feel the pressure of the towel collecting the blood from the gash in her leg. 

A plane crash, he’d said. No survivors. 

Tomas was dead. 

Her father was dead.

Elain…she had just planted flowers for spring. 

A fresh scream ripped from her throat.

↞↠

She woke up with it echoing in her ears, heart pounding. Wrenching the fresh sheets off her clammy skin, she felt for the scar on her thigh, catapulting her back into the present. Nesta hadn’t let them stitch it for days, had wanted to remember. It had almost festered. Feyre had held her down while they numbed and sutured. Most of those days were lost now, either to shock or sleep, she didn’t know. It hadn’t taken long for the drinking to start. 

Her head was pounding. Alis had stormed the apartment hours earlier, tut-tutting about the stale stench, throwing open every window. Nesta actually appreciated the fresh air. She didn’t appreciate the old woman’s silent appraisal of her ruined wedding dress. 

“Don’t touch it,” Nesta had snapped. Alis had tut-tutted some more, cleaning as she went, but she left the dress alone. 

Now, with a clean apartment and nothing to keep her company but her own self-pity, she laid spread-eagle in her bed that felt too big in clothes that felt too clean. Nothing matched her insides anymore. The small, decrepit thing inside of her that shrivelled that day and rejected everything still living. Even herself. She had never been a particularly warm person, but Elain, sweet and beautiful Elain, had made her care about something outside of herself.

She got up to find something to dull her head. A bottle of ibuprofen sat on the coffee table, next to a decanter of scotch. She washed the pills down with the brown liquor and sat on the edge of the sofa, her head in her hands.

The silence pressed her on her eardrums. An oppressive lack of sound, only the barest of sounds audible on the street. Too quiet. For the first time in months it was too quiet. Her head shot up and focused, eyes darting to the card neatly placed in the corner of the table. 

Amren. 

What had Feyre meant, “a different kind of therapy”? Hell would have to freeze over before Nesta crawled onto a couch to talk about her feelings, Feyre had admitted as much. So what was this? 

She picked up the card and flipped it over. Simple, white, just the number in embossed black. The curiosity was going to kill her if she didn’t just call the number. She reached for her phone, hauled out from between the couch cushions by Alis earlier. It had been dead for weeks. She’d given up on ignoring the condolences calls and just let the battery drain. Probably why Feyre had shown up yesterday unannounced. She swiped past all of the missed call and voicemail notifications and pulled up the keypad. 

It only rang once. 

“Yes?” A clipped, cold voice answered the phone. 

“Uhh, is this Amren?” 

“Speaking,” her voice didn’t soften, “can I help you?” 

“My sister gave me your card,” Nesta didn’t like this woman. She wracked her brain to think of how this person could help her, especially when she didn’t particularly want anyone’s help. 

“And who, my dear,” Nesta could hear the snide smile in Amren’s voice, “is your sister?”

“Feyre,” Nesta huffed, “Feyre Archeron.” 

“Oh, Feyre darling! Why didn’t you say so?” Amren warmed immediately. Well, at least to a level above stone cold. “Yes, Feyre told me about you.”

“You must have read—”

“I don't read the news, dear girl,” Amren said, flippant. “I have someone perfect for you. I will send him. Already have your address.” 

God, she really needed to have a conversation with Feyre about boundaries. Who is she sending?

“Who are you sending?” Nesta had not been sober long enough for this. Her brain wasn’t firing quick enough to deal with whoever this person was sending to her apartment. 

“His name is Cassian. He’ll be at your apartment in two hours.” 

Two hours?!

“I can’t have anyone in my apartment in two hours! What is this??” 

“We call it therapy,” just like Feyre had, “you don’t need to do anything to prepare.” 

“But I don’t even—” The line went dead. 

Nesta stared at her phone. How could I prepare if I don’t know what to prepare for?

↞↠

Two hours later, Nesta was pacing. Nervous. She was rarely nervous but she was also rarely unprepared. This felt like a bad omen, like suspense in a horror film. Like this Cassian might jump out of the shadows at any moment from some secret portal. 

She had washed her hair but no makeup. She had put on leggings but no real pants. There were concessions she was willing to make and others she wasn’t. It didn’t matter that they were only concessions to her own pride. Feyre got one opportunity to meddle in Nesta’s life, one opportunity to try and control how she coped with losing everything. Nesta would endure it in her own home, in her bare feet, or she wouldn’t endure it at all. 

An assertive knock at the door made her jump. 

Her heart thundered. She hadn’t talked to a man in months, let alone been in a small space with one. Now there was one at her door. She padded across her expensive rug, smoothing her hair as she went. Her hand gripped the doorknob, giving herself a second to stop shaking. Breathe in, breathe out. She jerked the door open only to be left utterly speechless. 

The most beautiful man she’d ever seen was leaning on the door frame, forearms crossed over his massive chest. 

“Nesta?” one corner of his full mouth curved upward. He inclined his head behind her left shoulder after she nodded. “Gonna let me in?” 

“Why should I?” She challenged, angling her chin up at him. 

“Because,” his shoulder length black hair slid into his face as his towering frame looked down at her. He came closer and held her chin between his rough fingers, “you’re at least a little curious about what I’m doing here.” 

Nesta ripped her face from his hands and took a step away from him. His hazel eyes stripped her bare. How does he do that? He appraised her frankly, taking in her sloppily thrown together appearance. The baby hairs that clung to the side of her face, unable to stay in her top knot. Her soft curves that the oversized t-shirt she wore only hinted at. All the way down to her toes, the cracked polish left over from her wedding manicure, just a couple of splotches of color left. 

His gaze sent a warmth through her. She tried to will it away, send it back to the hell she belonged in. Shaking her head, she stuck him with a glare. 

“Fine,” she stepped aside, “come in and tell me what you’re doing here so I can tell you to get out.” 

He walked in smoothly, his gray slacks gripping his toned thighs with each stride. Too casual, Nesta thought, for a therapist, especially with his white shirt open at the collar and rolled to his elbows. Not that she actually believed whatever this was even approached therapy.

He stopped in the center of Nesta’s living room and turned, giving the place as detailed a once-over as he had given her. His eyes only paused briefly on the wedding dress still hanging in the corner, but he faced her again as if nothing were out of the ordinary. 

“So,” he took up so much space as he spoke, too big, too much life for this apartment that had only contained her hollow soul for so long, “everyone up to this point has referred to this appointment as therapy, correct?” 

“Yes,” Nesta replied, curt. “But you’re no therapist, are you, Cassian?”

He snorted, a challenge to her fire temper. She didn’t like to be mocked and somehow he knew that. “No, I’m no therapist.” 

“I’m what is referred to in the circles you run in as an escort, a friend, of sorts.” He looked her dead in the eye. No shame, no fear. Just a professional. “We call it therapy, first and foremost for discretion, but also because I’m here to make you feel better. Feel alive again. In whatever form that might take.”

Nesta stiffened. Her mouth dropped open. No. “My sister sent me a hooker? You’re telling me that, my sister, the High Lady of the Night Court, sent me a hooker?!” 

She could barely keep up with the 100 mile an hour thoughts racing through her head. It wasn’t long before the pacing started again. Feyre said she uses the service sometimes...with Rhys?! She maybe could have guessed that her sister and her ass of a husband were freaky but prostitutes?! Couldn’t they just ask someone? 

Nesta, please do be discrete, she’d said as she walked out the door. She guessed paying for silence was easier than risking a secret. Money is always the best form of currency. 

Well, I guess I fucking know why. And she set this up for me?! What in hell’s fire did she think she was doing?

Cassian just stood there while her brain worked, while it exploded with all of this new information. So still, a statue compared to her frantic pacing. He must deal with this a lot. But wait, don’t people usually know what they’re asking for?! 

“You’ve never–“ she couldn’t finish the question out loud. Sharing was something foreign to Nesta even when she wasn’t talking about sexual partners. 

“No,” he shook his head, “Amren wouldn’t have sent me here if I had. She just told me the context of the visit.”

“So, you’re here,” Nesta stopped in front of him, “to have sex with me?” The words came out a whisper. They sounded so foreign, so ridiculous. 

“I’m here to help you.” He took a step toward her. The walls came down fast.

“And why do you think you can help me?” The words cut through the space like a knife. Accusatory, incredulous, they almost stung passing over her vocal cords. 

“Because, dear Nesta,” he took another step toward her, and another, “I’m very good at helping people.” 

The warmth in her blood returned and warred with the acid coursing through her veins, the hate. It came raging back from this morning, from the past months, from ten minutes ago when this cocky prick knocked on her door. He was staring again, close enough to have to look down at her, just an inch or two from touching. 

“I don’t need help from a high-dollar whore,” she spat. The only sign that she’d hit her mark was a faint twitch in his eyebrow. 

“I’ve been called worse, sweetheart,” he drawled. “But let’s get one thing straight. I think you need help more than you’d ever admit. I don’t think you’ve taken a breath since then. I read the papers. A beloved dead sister. Absent from the funerals. You blame yourself for not being there, for not dying with them. The guilt warms your bed at night while you lie awake, as much a part of you as the alcohol that twinges your breath. It’s become so familiar you don’t remember what it’s like without it. Who would Nesta Archeron be without that dark stain on her conscience following her like a storm cloud? Will all those liquor bottles I saw outside answer that question for you? Will that tattered wedding dress?”

“How dare–“ she felt the door press against her back, unconsciously moving with him while he lashed at her burning soul, fire for fire. 

“Oh, I dare,” he continued, planting his hands on the door behind her, trapping her with his eyes. “Because take it from someone who knows, when you decide to wake up and live with what you have left instead of existing with everything you’ve lost, there may not be anything left to live with. And trust me, guilt makes a very lonely bedfellow.”

Nesta had barely blinked this whole time, refusing to let him have that victory. Even if everything he’d said had hit home. Even if everything he’d said had flayed her open and raked her insides across the coals. She still burned with that unyielding rage. 

“Is that what you say to all the girls that pay for your time?” she asked, cocking her head to the side. She was close enough to smell him, the warm spice of clove and sandalwood with a distinctly male musk. It was intoxicating. It was infuriating. 

“Some. Some of the men, too. I’m an equal opportunity tough lover.” 

She swallowed hard. He was close enough that if she moved an inch his hair might brush her cheek. “Is that what this is? Tough love? For someone you just met?”

“It’s the truth,” his breath tickled her face, the tension crackling like static electricity around them, “isn’t it?”

He sounded tentative for the first time, like maybe he’d overstepped. Is it really so obvious?

“Did Feyre pay you to say those things?” Or were they just written so plainly on her face?

“Nooo,” he said, lower than before, gentler, raising one of his hands like he might stroke her cheek. She cursed herself silently for hoping. He came closer then, his lips a hair’s breadth away from her ear, “Feyre paid me to fuck you senseless.” 

Goddamn him. Fire shot into her veins. Not the simmering fury of her anger but something deeper, hotter, pooling in her core. Her breath caught in a little gasp and he smiled. A wide, full grin with teeth that made him look more predator than man.

Her body was a traitor, but it made no difference. She was already burning in hell.

Cassian held still, letting her make the next move. Part of her wanted to make him stand there forever, punish him for what he said, what he knew about her, daring to say what no one else would with just one look. A different part of her wanted to rip him apart. 

“Come on, Nesta,” a prince of cats toying with his prey, “show me that fi–“

Her lips crashed against his. God, he was big. She reached around him, fingers tensed to claw at his back, and savored the muscles and sinews that made up the terrain. He pressed her into the door. His hands cupped her face, so gentle for a kiss that was anything but. Flames licked her skin everywhere he touched, at every point their bodies connected through clothing.

He leaned and gripped and suddenly she was taller than him, her legs wrapped around his middle, his fingers pressed into the curve of her ass. She gripped the sides of his face and guided him to the side, forcing herself deeper, her tongue brazenly exploring his mouth. He even tasted wild, like fresh mint and adrenaline. Her heart beat in her ears, deafening over the silence of the apartment. He moaned, so deep it vibrated in her chest.

Nesta broke first, pupils blown and breath ragged.

“Finally shut you up?” she asked, sagging back against the door, her head falling against the wood with a low thud. 

He….well, he growled. There was no other word for the sound that rippled through his whole body and found a home between her legs. Her toes curled and she thanked every god that he couldn’t see. 

“Pretty little acid tongue,” he pushed them off the door and walked her toward the bed, almost tripping twice over the plush rug. Nesta didn’t notice. She was too busy tearing at the buttons down Cassian’s chest. Each one revealed inch after inch of smooth golden skin. Licks of black ink stretched from his shoulders, mostly hidden by more shirt. She huffed, trying to shove it off, but instead caught his nipple by accident with her nails. 

His nostrils flared as he hissed and dropped her unceremoniously on the mattress. She bounced, breathless. Dangerously close to a giggle. Traitor. She schooled her features back to bored disdain. The only hint of lust was the glassy haze in her vision, honed in on Cassian’s bare chest. 

He had removed his shirt while she had been distracted by her traitorous body, discarded it somewhere above her. The black inked lines Nesta had seen stretched around his shoulders and down his arms in dark whorls and spirals. The tattoo was almost feminine in its pure decoration, a stark contrast to his cut biceps. It was beautiful. 

He was beautiful. 

“Careful, Nesta,” he chided, “someone might think you like what you see.” 

She gave him a filthy gesture. A deep, rumbling laugh escaped him as he took a step closer, his fingers grazing the outer seams of her leggings. From her ankle to her knee, where he stopped to make circles. He curved around her knee and gripped her legs, tugging her to the edge of the bed. The palms of his hands burned her skin straight through her leggings. He hadn’t tried to remove her clothes. She couldn’t decide if it was a tease or an insult. Probably both. 

“Are you just going to talk?” she cocked an eyebrow at him, “or are you going to do something productive with that mouth?” 

His eyes narrowed, “are you sure that’s what you want?” 

She wanted him. Damn her, she wanted him so bad she could barely stand to look at him. The guilt roiled in her stomach, that she should take pleasure while everyone she’d loved could no longer. He’d offered her help, but it would be her damnation. No, this was just a distraction. No amount of distraction could bring back Tomas, or her father, or Elain. 

Light from the city outside shifted and spread into the corner drawing her eye. The dress. Her wedding dress. In the night shadows, the blunt burns looked like angry, gaping voids. They whispered to her as she stared. Traitor, traitor, traitor. 

I’m here to help you. His words were poison. Bred from a kind of hope only Feyre, with her perfect life, could ever have again after what they had lost. Her want for Cassian’s body burned her from the inside, stoked the fires of the self-inflicted hell she’d cast herself into. Nothing more than a catalyst. She could take his body and burn for doing so, but she would not accept his help. 

“Cassian,” Nesta’s voice didn’t belong to her. She pulled her t-shirt up to just below her breasts, exposing her flat stomach and drawing his eyes to her waistband. “just do what you came to do.” 

The air chilled as he stiffened. Her heart raced, waiting for him, fingers teasing her bare skin. He didn’t move. She lifted a bare foot and ran it along his pant leg, coaxing him to touch her. He nodded, as if making some decision Nesta wasn’t privy to. His face, lit so beautifully by the moonlight, hardened into a mask. A smooth, smiling mask. Prince of cats no more. 

“Cassian?” 

“Dear Nesta, I do believe our time is up,” he leaned down and reached over her, his chest just grazing her belly, the only skin to skin contact they’d had. She swore she felt him shudder, but it was over in an instant. He quickly retrieved his shirt from behind her and pulled it on. 

She gaped at him, “what do you mean our time is up?” 

“I mean,” his eyes shot right through her with cool confidence, “it’s getting late and I do need my beauty sleep. I must be going.” 

“But–“ she didn’t understand. Isn’t this what he wanted? Isn’t this how he gets paid? How can he leave? 

He buttoned up his shirt, swift and efficient. Little feeling or warmth. Nesta wasn’t sure what to do. Confusion quickly gave way to anger, boiling in her veins, flushing her skin.

“So, you’re not just a whore,” she hissed, “you’re a bastard whore that can’t even finish the job.” 

“So lovely meeting you, dear Nesta,” he turned with a sweet smile and opened the door, sending any tension between them out into the hallway. He breezed through the door, clicking it shut behind him so gently he might have been a phantom. 

Nesta slammed her head against the mattress and let out a frustrated scream so loud she had no doubt the bastard whore heard it.

taglist: @sleeping-and-books @greerlunna @sjmships @cupcakey00 @queenestarcheron

Cassian’s POV is next ❤️

[toloveawarlord]

Ch. 2

Characters: Elaine, Arthur x Theo, Vincent

Pairing: Elaine x Isaac (eventually)

Tagging: @plumpblueberry​ @lady-moonbroch​

A/N: This chapter turned out nothing like the first draft XD Enjoy some Elaine spending time with her Uncle and she meets a boy!

Four days into her new job as Theo’s assistant, the mood in their home had drastically lifted. Elaine never complained and paid close attention to every task given to her, exceeding all expectations. She quoted things he’d said to her years ago and questioned smartly, craving the knowledge he had. Having her along had proved quite useful with prickly clients, smoothing over situations with a charming smile and sweet words, likely emulating Arthur. 

Theo enjoyed having time with her. In recent years, they’d grown strained. The teenager wanted more freedom and broke rules in place to protect her because she believed them unnecessary. Now, at nearly eighteen in only two days, she’d fought harder. Being able to keep an eye on her put the art dealer at little more at ease.

His daughter sat across from him, glancing at him out of the corner of her vision. Elaine hadn’t taken the news that she couldn’t accompany him today well. Instead of anger, she’d pouted silently all morning.

“I take it that you aren’t happy with today’s agenda,” Arthur piped up with an amused grin not quite hidden by his cup of steaming coffee. The previous night Theo had informed him of the impending unhappy teenager.

Elaine stuffed the fork full of pancakes into her mouth, enough to make her cheeks puff out to match her frown. She’d gotten up extra early and made pancakes and extra sweet coffee, but the answer remained unchanged. Now, she wanted to drown her sorrows in syrup and butter until she got sick.

“Vincent has asked for you to help him today while I’m gone.” Theo could easily see the motive behind his brother’s sudden request. He’d promised to make her do some work instead of spoiling her the entire day.

The teenager flinched at those words. She couldn’t very well turn down her uncle, as she adored him so much. Help isn’t the word she’d choose to describe what the day would entail. He’d likely ask her to do a small task or two, nothing that required much effort. “Fine. I guess I can do that.”

Working didn’t bother her. She assisted around the house with the chores without complaint. If Comte asked, she would readily agree. It irritated her that this client wouldn’t allow her entrance to his home, prompting this sour mood. No promises of being quiet or staying outside had swayed Theo. He couldn’t risk spooking the man.

“If you find yourself in need of something to do, I can have you proofread for me.” Her grimace only made the mystery writer chuckle again. Her disdain for that job well-known. Though she enjoyed his stories, playing editor didn’t appeal to her. A tedious thing.

Theo cracked a grin, rising from the table. “You better thank Vincent for saving you from that.” One check of his watch ended the conversation. He bid his family farewell before heading into town alone.

“Are you sure you don’t want to help your Papa with his work?” Arthur teased further. He had been a tad jealous that she eagerly wanted to assist Theo over the course of the week. Ah, but he was also grateful that the two were more understanding of each other.

Elaine stacked all the empty plates to carry them to the kitchen. “I love you but no.” Her curt reply still amusing. Setting the dishes in the sink, she licked the sticky syrup off her fingers.

“Off you go then. I’ll take care of the cleanup.”

The young vampire didn’t need to be told twice. Housework didn’t appeal to her either. She did her part, pitching in when needed, but if told she didn’t have to do it... the teenager bailed as quickly as she could.

Inside the mansion, the hallways were quiet and empty.  At this hour, everyone should be awake, except for Leonardo perhaps. Rapping her fist against Vincent’s door, she cast confused glances down the hallway.

“Goede morgen, Elaine,” Vincent greeted with a bright smile. He laughed softly at her confusion. Since Arthur and Theo had moved out of the mansion with her when she was only 4 years old, daily happenings didn’t reach their house as quickly as it spread through the mansion. “We’re the only ones here today.”

“I’m okay with that.” She flashed a disheartened smile, unable to shake the dark cloud hanging over her. Her normally mischievous and lively attitude disappeared. The others might have tried to make her understand. She understood perfectly fine.

That didn’t make it less saddening.

“Come here.” He’d barely open his arms and invited his niece to find comfort with him when the teenager stepped forward and accepted the warm hug. Vincent stroked his fingers through her copper hair. He wouldn’t say it out loud, but she reminded him so much of Theo when he was a child. “You know, he couldn’t stop talking about how wonderful you were on the job.”

“Really?”

It wasn’t that he hadn’t said so to her. Theo would give praise often, especially when she came up with new ideas. Telling the others about it, that was rarer.

Vincent hummed in response, a gentle smile on his lips as she peeked up at him. “I’d say he was outright bragging. I’m not surprised. You’re his daughter after all.” Placing a kiss on the top of her head, he laughed softly at her uplifted mood.

Elaine lingered a little longer before releasing him, soaking up his sunshine-like warmth. “I guess I could stop pouting about it.” Relenting her sad feelings, she sighed softly before questioning. “So, what was it you wanted my help with?”

“I finished the final painting and I thought I’d ask for your expert advice on where to put it in the gallery space. That is, if you want to.” His request was well-received with a glowing smile from his niece. Theo had mentioned that he’d given her the sole responsibility of choosing how to use the space to best showcase the art. The uncle looked forward to seeing what she’d done.

***********

The paintings on the wall were shrouded in black cloth, to hide the precious items from view until the day of the showing. Only a select few knew what was beneath, ones trusted by Theo to make this a success. Elaine had been gifted one of the only keys to venue, a testament to her importance.

“I believe I’m looking forward to this event more than any other,” Vincent commented, allowing the staff to hang the framed piece in its designated spot.

The heat in her cheeks caused the teenager to turn her gaze anywhere else. “It’s not much different from how Vader does it. I’ve been to more of these than any other event in the city.” The location changed but ever since she learned to walk, she’d been toddling around, observing, and learning how it works. Before she’d even realized, she’d begun understanding color theory and composition.

“It wasn’t too long ago that you were only a few years old and correcting patrons on the medium or style of the art. You always had this incredibly serious expression, much like Theo.”

“That was so long ago! I’m almost eighteen!”

Vincent chuckled with a loving smile. “Yes, I guess that’s right.”

The chime of the door timed perfectly with one of the staff calling to speak with Vincent. Elaine stepped away to investigate the newcomer. Violet eyes narrowed at the sight of a boy, likely no older than herself, attempting to take a peek at the portrait veiled by the black cloth. “Excuse me, but you can’t be in here.” Her tone less than polite, Elaine thrust her palms against his chest to push him away from the art piece.

“Oh, my apologies. I’ve been most curious about why there are staff entering but it’s never been open for business.” His emerald eyes filled with hidden intent that didn’t quite match the half smirk on his lips. The boy never resisted her pushing him back to the door and onto the street. “A secretive operation, I presume, miss?”

“Elaine and we don’t open for another two days.”

Her biggest fear was that he was a spy for le academia and all of her father’s hard work would go to waste if they were discovered. He didn’t fit the typical appearance of a high bred family, usually scrawny and uptight, and he wasn’t either of those things.

“I’ll have to pop in when you are open. My name is Leon Autry.” He flashed another brilliantly smug smile and winked. “Might I inquire your surname, should I have any future questions?” The reason lost on the recipient. He’d yet to ask anything relevant to the gallery.

Elaine turned on her heel to return inside. “It’s Doyle.” Even though she didn’t quite like the boy, she couldn’t risk turning away a potential buyer. Her cheeks were warm, and it wasn’t clear if it was from embarrassment or anger. The young pureblood didn’t have many friends her age, and that led to a bit of awkwardness when around humans her age.

“Ah, like the writer.”

The girl stilled, hand hovering above the door handle. Perhaps she’d heard him incorrectly.

“You might not know of him. He’s a British writer, mystery, I think.”

Or perhaps not.

“I believe it’s Arthur Conan Doyle. Any relation?” Leon asked as if he already knew the answer, like playing a game of truth or dare in order reveal a secret for confirmation.

Elaine relaxed her shoulders. Although she could hardly admit that she was indeed was the daughter of that very Arthur, albeit the vampire one, she wouldn’t allow him to glean that precious information from her. “No, but you aren’t the first to ask. But wouldn’t that be grand? Imagine being related to someone as talented as that.” Her dreamy smile fowled his for a moment.

“Imagine.” The façade of his grin had ghosted away for a split second, but it didn’t go unnoticed.

“Elaine, are you ready to head back?” A third party interrupted, much welcomed by the girl. Vincent approached the two, protectively a half step in front of his niece. The tension between the two children enough to worry him.

Her head bobbed once in response. “Yes, let’s go home.” The way Leon’s eyes followed her unsettled the girl. Elaine settled back on the seat in the carriage, mulling over the strange interaction. Was it so unusual for someone to draw a connection between her name and the human Arthur from this era?

Whatever the case, she now had a proper mystery on her hands.

[creampuffqueen]

Feyre x Rhysand baby headcanons

Alrighty! First one for acotar kiddos! 

-Alright alright alright here we go kids

-Feyre and Rhys are clearly the first to have kids. It's just a fact

-Unlike in the ToG world, however, it takes wayyy longer

-In the acotar world, it's been about thirty-ish years since the war with Hybern

-Things have happened. Eris has taken over his father's spot as High Lord of the Autumn Court. Tarquin found his mate. Helion realized that Lucien was his son and took him in.

-And yet, the Inner Circle has remained the same

-The first few years after the events of acofas were kind of hard for Feyre. Even though she knew it would take a while, she was still disappointed when she didn't get pregnant immediately

-Then life got busy, and their focus was elsewhere

-Which is why, nearly thirty years later, Feyre finds herself.. not feeling too great

-The thing is, none of her symptoms scream 'PREGNANCY' that much

-She was nauseous for a few days, no throwing up

-Had an odd craving or two

-Was extra tired for a while there

-So neither Feyre nor Rhys is too concerned

-The real surprise comes when Feyre starts gaining weight

-Now that's odd

-Feyre's been training for three decades. She's like, swole

-But then her breasts start to get sensitive

-And her stomach starts to get pudgy and soft

-The final clue is when her scent starts to change

-Rhys wakes up one morning and smells his amazing wife, only to find... she doesn't smell quite the same

-Feyre feels fine, but because Rhys is Rhys and must be overprotective, he instantly calls for Madja, their healer

-Madja knows what's up right away

-Because she's just cool like that

-"I am pleased to inform you that you are about three months pregnant, Lady Feyre."

-At first neither believes it

-They haven't been trying, but then again, they haven't been preventing it either

-As soon as the healer leaves, making sure that Feyre promises to show up regularly at the clinic, the couple literally just sit and squeal with excitement for like a solid five minutes

-They are freaking ecstatic, like seriously. Feyre has never seen Rhys so happy before. They're both over the moon

-Because Feyre's already three months pregnant and her scent has changed, they decide to just tell everyone

-Rhys drags Cassian, Azriel, Mor, and Amren down for dinner. Nesta and Elain, being sort of married to some of those people, obviously tag along

-When they're all gathered, Cassian is being all 'what is this even about'

-And Feyre pretty much just jumps up and down and says 'I'm pregnant!'

-Like, she's still so freaking excited

-Of course, the whole Inner Circle pretty much loses it

-Cassian is yelling and patting Rhys on the back, Mor and Elain are both crying, Nesta is actually smiling and so is Azriel. Even Amren seems mildly less annoyed with them for once

-Basically everyone is just so happy for them

-And because Rhys can't keep a secret, almost the entirety of Velaris knows within the week

-Which means that the Court of Nightmares is also aware

-And the Illyrian camps

-And... other Courts

-The citizens of Velaris are all so kind. Feyre gets tons of handmade gifts and lots of food, which is good because she is mostly just hungry and tired all the time

-The Court of Nightmares is... another experience. They give congrats, mostly so they don't seem rude

-But otherwise they don't bother them too much

-Some of the Illyrian camps are hostile, but most are also at least semi-polite

-It's the other Courts Rhys is worried about

-He doesn't think most of them will try anything. But he is concerned

-He doesn't want anything to happen to Feyre or the baby

-So he makes Feyre always keep someone with her just in case. He just wants a buddy system

-Feyre is annoyed at first, but she doesn't want anything to happen either, so she's fine with it. Besides, she likes spending time with her friends and family

-When Feyre is about six months pregnant, Nesta finds out she's pregnant, too

-Which Feyre is ecstatic about, because it means she gets to experience pregnancy with her sister

-Nesta's pregnancy is, unfortunately, a lot harder

-Which means Feyre can't spend as much time with her as she'd like

-But still, it's fun

-At nine months pregnant, Feyre is irritable and uncomfortable

-Rhys spends a few nights in guest bedrooms because Feyre needs the whole bed to sleep

-And some nights she can't sleep at all, so she wanders around the River House aimlessly

-They have a nursery, toys, and so many clothes they don't know what to do with them all

-All they need is a baby

-One day after her due date, Feyre wakes up suddenly in the middle of the night in a pool of water

-She goes to take a bath, trying not to wake up her mate, when she feels it

-A contraction

-It's not that bad, though, so she takes the bath

-She thinks it's just a false alarm, since it was only one and nearly half an hour later there weren't any more

-But when she wakes Rhys up to change the sheets, she feels another

-Again, Rhys being Rhys, gets Madja

-Poor woman, she was probably being called to the River House twice a day because Rhys is an anxious mother hen

-But, guess, what

-Feyre's in labor!

-As far as Fae births go, hers is pretty easy

-Afterwards Feyre doesn't want to know what a hard labor feels like

-Because she was in labor for eleven hours and was in so much pain she couldn't feel her legs halfway through

-Madja nearly had to pull the baby out herself

-Rhys was there to support her the whole way through, and was honestly the only reason Feyre did so well

-If it weren't for him she thinks she wouldn't have been able to do it

-But after everything is said and done

-A little baby boy is asleep on Feyre's chest

-His name is Cirrus Beddor Archeron

-After Clare, the girl who was an unknowing sacrifice to Amarantha

-Cirrus has a head of night-black hair, and tiny little wings wrapped around his body that are nearly translucent with how thin they are

-For Illyrians, they don't gain much body weight soon after birth because all the muscle and fat goes to strengthening the wings

-Which is true for little Cirrus. He's a tiny little bit underweight until he's about a month old

-But damn is he cute

-When he opens his eyes, Feyre nearly gets her breath taken away. He looks exactly like the boy the Bone Carver showed her

-As he gets older, Cirrus is a good kid

-A troublesome toddler, but hey, what can you expect, really? Have you seen his relatives?

-Every now and then he'll say something very weirdly wise for someone so young

-And it's incredibly obvious how powerful he is

-Like, he's got powers from all the Courts, plus extra Night Court powers, PLUS Illyrian genetics and powers

-This kid is crazy powerful

-Which is why Rhys and Feyre train with him relentlessly

-If Cirrus can't expel his powers properly, he could seriously injure someone else. Or even himself

-He's a smart kid, and a strong one

-By the time he's six years old he's got a handle on his powers

-Not enough to properly use them, but enough to control them

-Which is good

-Because Feyre finds herself pregnant again

-This time she's pregnant at the same time as Elain, which is fun again

-And just like last time, her pregnancy is smooth sailing

-Cirrus will practice his reading by reading books to Feyre's belly

-And Rhys is again, overprotective doting mother hen

-This baby is a girl

-And she's the exact opposite of Cirrus

-Feyre's gold-brown hair and violet eyes

-Wings, but not as much power as her older brother

-Her name is Camille Alis Archeron

-Camille's powers are sort of strange

-She has a tiny bit of each power, but her most prominent is not Night Court powers. It's Summer, Day, and Spring

-Camille is a quieter kid

-Cirrus loves her to bits, but sometimes he's just too much for his introverted little sister

-She does, however, get along strangely well with Mor. Even though Mor is her opposite, she's definitely Camille's favorite aunt

-And this little girl also ADORES books

-She spends almost all her time in the library

-When Camille is four years old, another addition joins the Archeron family

-A second baby girl, with hair blacker than the night, and violet eyes

-She looks exactly like Rhys

-Her name is Caliphe Feyre Archeron

-And she's the most troublesome of the three

-It's because she's the baby

-So she gets away with everything

-Cirrus and Camille love their little sister, but she's kind of... ruthless

-Too much time with aunt Amren

-Caliphe is obsessed with jewelry and all things shiny, and is also obsessed with flying and fighting

-She loves to fly more than anything in the entire world

-And Cali also has the strongest Night Court powers of all her siblings

-Her Daemati powers are out of this world. It's completely insane

-She doesn't have any other powers besides those from her father. Nothing from any other Court

-But still, she's freakishly strong

-Feyre and Rhysand have got three of the strongest Fae on their hands

-And you know what?

-Their kids are their joys

-The reason they get up in the morning

-And yeah, maybe Camille is reading instead of doing schoolwork, and Cirrus is causing trouble in the markets, and Caliphe is stealing jewels

-But they wouldn't have it any other way

-The story Worlds of Fire and Darkness takes place when Cirrus is 20, Camille is 14, and Caliphe is 8

[djinmer4]

Weird Arthurian Dream

Okay, so I’ve had this dream twice this week so I thought I should write it down.  Also, I should point out I’ve never actually watched the show ‘Merlin’ so that definitely wasn’t a contributing factor.

Anyway, Sir Gawaine was doing the whole noble knight thing, wandering around righting wrongs and doing deeds and rescuing fair maidens, and in this case, the fair maiden he rescued happened to be Lady Elaine from her island tower.  She’s very grateful to be freed from her curse and they spend the night together before he returns her to her father and continues on his journey.

Cue nine months later and it looks like she got more than just good memories from that night.  Her father and her brothers are all for hunting down Gawaine and having him do the noble thing in this case, but things are slightly different in my dream.  Lady Elaine’s also the local hedge witch/wise woman for the area, and certainly doesn’t feel much of a need to get married, although she acknowledges that they probably should tell the father about the son.  So they all pack up and head down to Camelot, to confront the King and Round Table.

They get there, are welcomed, all “Glory and prosperity upon your house.” / “Same to you, Your Majesty, oh and by the way, we really need to talk to one of your knights, is Sir Gawaine available?”  Gawaine is and . . . well, it doesn’t end with a duel or fight between the parties.  Gawaine’s happy to know he has a son, is willing to fork over quite a bit of treasure to help support him, maybe a trinket or two in case they lose contact and the son wants to find him someday or they need help, BUT he’s not really interested in marrying Elaine.  And while she was grateful to be rescued, she’s not really interested in spending the rest of her life with him either.  The rest of the Ascolot family isn’t really happy with that, but they’re not coming away empty-handed, so Lord Bernard Ascolot (Elaine’s father) says fine, we’ve been sufficiently compensated, we’ll go.  That’s when Sir Kay steps in and offers to marry Lady Elaine.

Everyone’s kind of surprised at this, but as Kay explains, it’s less about doing the honorable thing, and more about the fact he needs an heir for Celydonn, and if he adopts Elaine’s son, he’ll have one essentially ready-made.  Also, since Merlin’s gone and joined Arthur’s court, Celydonn’s hasn’t had a druid or wise woman or really anyone with the sort of medical and magical skills that people need.  This practicality actually impresses Elaine (one of her objections to Gawaine was that he was too flighty and romantic for her) and she agrees to his proposal.

They name the son Galahad.  He grows up close friends with his cousin Mordred.

When Galahad is ten, Arthur’s first wife dies.  He marries Gwenhyfar, a priestess of Avalon.  Avalon apparently has sacred sex rites, which actually becomes a plot point in the dream later.

Five years later, Arthur becomes interested in the Christian religion.  He brings in a group of monks, priests and one Knight of the Holy Ghost, Lancelot, over from France.  As a show of goodwill to the new faith, Lancelot gets a position as a Knight of the Round Table.

As time goes on and the pressure of having no heir mounts, Arthur starts rejecting the older pagan, druidic faith and becomes a fanatic for Christianity.  The Round Table becomes divided between the older pagan faction (Gwenhyfar, Kay, Elaine, Galahad, Mordred and Merlin) which has greater support among the common people and the newer Christian faction (Lancelot, Percival, Bedivere who’s probably the most moderate member) which is being supported by the King.

When Galahad is 18, hostilities start when Lancelot tries to arrange for Elaine to be ambushed, dragged to a trial in front of a priest and burned at the stake for being a witch.  Galahad and Kay rescue her before Elaine ever gets near the stake, but incensed, they call up their vassals and ride to Camelot to confront Arthur and demand that Lancelot be removed from his position.  While on the road, they get the news that they’re too late, civil war has already broken out.

Turns out Elaine wasn’t the only person who’d been attacked.  Lancelot (who as you might have guessed is a real dick in this dream) had also attacked and raped Gwenhyfar, claiming that a priestess was nothing more than a whore, since she had participated in the sacred sex rites on Avalon.  Mordred managed to beat Lancelot badly enough to get him away from Gwenhyfar before he could kill her, and sends her off with Merlin, then declares a coup against Arthur (who had supported Lancelot in trying to replace Gwenhyfar).

The war happens, pretty much all the knights end up dead, Bedivere throws Arthur’s sword into the lake, not to return it to anyone, but more out of disgust at how badly everything ended.  Galahad and Bedivere hash out an agreement to end the war and were riding off to appoint a new King when I woke up.

[sudanhelp53-blog]

What We Read in 2018

It’s the end of the year and we’re going to round up all the books Team LCK and beyond read in 2018! If you are looking for an eclectic list of new and old books to add to your reading list, scroll down!

2018 Reading List

I am excited to round up our 2018 reading list filled with the books we’ve read, and loved, in 2018! We’ve rounded up an eclectic list of books by including reading list from myself, Kelli (a member of the LCK team), my husband Mike and my brother Adam. Everybody has such different books lists! It’s safe to say there is a bit of something for everyone here!

P.S. Did you know we have a virtual book club? We started it this year in 2018, and basically we read a book and chat in the Facebook group on a specific date about it! Interested? Join the Facebook group here.

Lexi’s Top Book Picks of 2018:

So many of these books were real page-turners that I couldn’t put down. I highly recommend them all! They are largely fiction books.

The Light We Lost: I could not put this book down! “Lucy is faced with a life-altering choice. But before she can make her decision, she must start her story—their story—at the very beginning.” This book keeping me up wanting to read more and more of it. A really unique, beautiful story.

The Silent Wife: Another quick, suspenseful read.

The Perfect Stranger: I LOVED this book. It has twist and turns, makes you second guess characters, and was a quick, great read.

The Marsh Kings Daughter: Totally suspenseful. “Helena has a secret: she is the product of an abduction. Her mother was kidnapped as a teenager by her father and kept in a remote cabin in the marshlands of Michigan’s Upper Peninsula. Helena, born two years after the abduction, loved her home in nature–fishing, tracking, hunting. And despite her father’s odd temperament and sometimes brutal behavior, she loved him, too … until she learned precisely how savage a person he could be.” I couldn’t put this one down.

The Great Alone: A must read. Takes place in Alaska and really is a unique book that shows you life in a totally different way. I really loved this book!

The Last Mrs. Parrish: It took me a bit to get into this book because I really didn’t like one of the characters, but once I got into it, I couldn’t put it down.

The Woman In The Window: I was deep into this story from the beginning. What you assume is totally not the case, and worth the read.

The Wife Between Us: The title is not what you think! Twist and turns that will keep you guessing the whole time. I loved this book. A total page turner.

Still Me: If you’ve read Me Before You and After You, read this last sequel. I really enjoyed it to tie together the story.

Behind Closed Doors: Dark! Totally suspenseful. I read this in two days flat. If you love a good dark page-turner, grab this book!

Little Fires Everywhere: I really liked this book, but it took me a bit to get into. It’s not in my top 5, but I think it’s worth a read!

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F—: A great book for some life perspective!

The Power of Vulnerability (Audiobook): A great listen. If you love Brene Brown, you’ll love this listen.

Currently reading (on the beach):

Kelli’s top picks that she read this year:

These are largely non-fiction books, with a bend toward women in the work place and parenting.

Daring Greatly by Brene Brown: All of Brene Brown’s books are really fantastic if you are interested in understanding yourself and other humans a bit more empathetically and honestly, and this one is no different. Daring Greatly means leaning in to the hard and heavy stuff in your life to live more whole-heartedly. I found the section on raising kids also really game changing and self-affirming as well. Pick this one up if you’d like to be a better human.

How to Get Sh*t Done by Erin Falconer: This book isn’t about adding more items to your t0-do list, it’s actually about how to reduce what is on your to do list so you can truly get more (and meaningful) stuff done in your life. It is geared towards woman in the working world but also is just a great manifesto for woman living in this current day and age.

Know Your Value by Mike Brzezinski: If you are a woman living in 2018, you should read this book. This book talks about everyday struggles that woman living now face, especially in the working world, and how to know your value and overcome them. This is a large statement but I would say this book was probably the most pivotal book I’ve read in my adult life.

Peaceful Parents, Happy Kids by Laura Markham: This book I’ve slowly been reading for about a year and during the rough cycles of parenting two toddlers I reread old chapters to remind myself of what is important. It’s a nice handbook to have to help have peaceful interactions in your home, without being preachy. And it offers great advice on how to truly connect with your children and empathize with them in a meaningful way.

How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish: This book should be given out to all parents when their children are born. It offers extremely practically advice on how to respect your children as whole beings that really creates a positive meaningful relationship with your children. If you are struggling with how to talk with your kids, or  are in need of some behavioral changes at home this is definitely a must read for all ages of kids. We all want to do better as parents and this is such a practical book to help you get there.

Currently Reading:

Adam’s top picks that he read this year:

My brother Adam Kornblum is one of the most interesting, creative, intellectual, hard-working guys I know! I’m not just saying that because he’s my brother! Learn more about him through his LinkedIn here! His books reflect him so perfectly with a mix of history, education, psychology and more.

The Laws of Human Nature by Robert Greene: This author (famous for The 48 Laws of Power, 33 Strategies of War and more) offers real insight into human behavior, and provides interesting historical stories to show you how he derived at the insight, and then provides action steps to utilize each law. You can read the book in a linear fashion or through individual chapters. Both are utterly rewarding.

Principles by Ray Dalio: Ray Dalio is the founder of Bridgewater, one of the largest financial hedgefunds in the world. He shares the principles that helped him succeed both personally and professionally.  One of the differentiators of his business principles is his “radical transparency” environment. In short, everything is recorded and feedback is swift and brutally honest. It’s not for everyone but it certainly is an interesting concept. You can also follow Ray on social media—he provides the key points of each of his Principles.

A Treatise of Human Nature by David Hume: If you ever had thoughts on why people behave the way they do but feel you just can’t articulate how to say it, read David Hume. He’s an 18th century philosopher and truly deciphers human nature in an easy-to-digest way. Hume defines laws of human nature, specially analyzing what governs human behavior—concluding that passion trumps reason. It has been said that Hume is responsible for cognitive science and is one of the most influential figures in the history of philosophy.

How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie is a must-read for me every year! Some of what Carnegie shares are things which you know but truly need to be reminded of. For example, simply remembering someone’s name or legitimately caring about what others care about makes the difference. In the end, you’ll realize influencing people happens when you care. And, when you care, you find yourself winning friends which builds prosperous relationships. When both parties win in a relationship, it’s less about influencing by itself.

Ogilvy on Advertising in the Digital Age by Miles Young: Ogilvy is one of the largest advertising agencies in the world and I’m proud to have worked there for six and half years. Miles Young, Ogilvy’s former Chairman & CEO, and now the Warden of New College, picks up where the great David Ogilvy left off [in his book Ogilvy on Advertising]. Young shares key marketing principles in the digital age highlighting some of the best marketing and communications work in the last decade. He explains digital marketing easily and very clearly.

Re-reading Influence by Robert Cialdini: In college I read Philosophical Explanation by Robert Nozick, that breaks down the difference between coercion and influence. It read as if he viewed the world in black and white. You are either influencing to convince people or coercing (or failing at both, of course). Coercing someone is as bad as it sounds which led me on a quest to understand what influencing behavior actually means. Robert Cialdini’s Influence doesn’t solely tell you why people react like they do,  but he advises you to look out for the tricks so you don’t fall for them yourself. I also recommend Cialdini’s sequel Pre-Suasion, too. When I started my career, I created a game and was able to sell it to Hasbro. Having no knowledge of the business world, I relied heavily on this book, as well as others,  to help me avoid a few traps. I re-read Influence every year.

Walt Disney by Neil Gabler: Walt Disney had a lot of struggles from when he started his career as an animator to the early days of The Walt Disney Company. Disney proves that with intense focus, a strive for pure excellence, and to act with the utmost conviction whether you’re right or wrong are keys to success and purpose in life.

Republic by Plato: What I love about philosophy is despite reading this book at least 20 times, I discover something new each time. As another Greek philosopher once closely remarked, No person ever steps in the same river twice, for it’s not the same river and he/she not the same person. If you only read one excerpt, you should read The Allegory of the Cave (VII). The movie The Matrix’s illustrates the meaning. Both the passage and the movie ask the same metaphysical question around ‘what is real?’

And lastly my husband Mike’s top picks he read this year:

Mike’s list, much like Adam, reflects a varied range of non-fiction, spirituality and history!

Sapiens and Homo Deus by Yuval Noah Harari: Unbelievable perspectives of understanding out history as a human species and where we may be going in the future. Sapiens should is a must read for anyone.

Can’t Hurt Me by David Goggins: A no-nonsense book about cutting through the bullshit of your mind that says you can’t do something. Also an incredibly moving memoir of someone who has experience incredibly deep struggle in their life.

A Theory of Everything by Ken Wilbur: An introduction to Integral theory, which is an incredible way of understanding the world. If you often listen to opposing perspectives and think they are both right, this book is for you.

Cutting Through Spiritual Materialism by Chogyam Trungpa: Embarking on a spiritual path can always lead to you thinking that you are a “spiritual person” This ends up being a massive pitfall. This book is the best antidote to that.

When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi: An incredibly emotional and eyeopening memoir about the medical system.

Atomic Habits by James Clear: The best and most complete advice for creating habits and properly sticking to them.

Lexi’s Reading List for 2019:

I’ll Be Gone in the Dark

Then She Was Gone

YOU

The Kind Worth Killing

Into the Water

The Perfect Nanny

Tempting Fate

Ghosted

Educated, A Memoir

Into the Darkest Corner

The Good Girl

Everything We Left Behind

A Stranger in the House

One Day in December

All We Ever Wanted

Our Kind 0f Cruelty

Before We Were Yours

Recommended by you (via Instagram!):

The Four Agreements

Michelle Obama’s Becoming

The Dinner List

Calypso

Verity

When Life Gives you Lululemons

Girl’s Night Out

The Story Ends with Us

Crazy Rich Asians

The Simple Favor

Homegoing

Eight Hundred Grapes

The Perfect Couple

The Nightingale (read this)

The Help (read this)

P.S. This post may contain affiliate links. By shopping through these links, we make a (very small) percentage of your sale. You don’t pay any more! This helps support the growth of LCK and our team, so thank you in advance! All our love!

What books did you read this year that you loved?

Source: https://lexiscleankitchen.com/2018-books/

[jokehockey44-blog]

What We Read in 2018

It’s the end of the year and we’re going to round up all the books Team LCK and beyond read in 2018! If you are looking for an eclectic list of new and old books to add to your reading list, scroll down!

2018 Reading List

I am excited to round up our 2018 reading list filled with the books we’ve read, and loved, in 2018! We’ve rounded up an eclectic list of books by including reading list from myself, Kelli (a member of the LCK team), my husband Mike and my brother Adam. Everybody has such different books lists! It’s safe to say there is a bit of something for everyone here!

P.S. Did you know we have a virtual book club? We started it this year in 2018, and basically we read a book and chat in the Facebook group on a specific date about it! Interested? Join the Facebook group here.

Lexi’s Top Book Picks of 2018:

So many of these books were real page-turners that I couldn’t put down. I highly recommend them all! They are largely fiction books.

The Light We Lost: I could not put this book down! “Lucy is faced with a life-altering choice. But before she can make her decision, she must start her story—their story—at the very beginning.” This book keeping me up wanting to read more and more of it. A really unique, beautiful story.

The Silent Wife: Another quick, suspenseful read.

The Perfect Stranger: I LOVED this book. It has twist and turns, makes you second guess characters, and was a quick, great read.

The Marsh Kings Daughter: Totally suspenseful. “Helena has a secret: she is the product of an abduction. Her mother was kidnapped as a teenager by her father and kept in a remote cabin in the marshlands of Michigan’s Upper Peninsula. Helena, born two years after the abduction, loved her home in nature–fishing, tracking, hunting. And despite her father’s odd temperament and sometimes brutal behavior, she loved him, too … until she learned precisely how savage a person he could be.” I couldn’t put this one down.

The Great Alone: A must read. Takes place in Alaska and really is a unique book that shows you life in a totally different way. I really loved this book!

The Last Mrs. Parrish: It took me a bit to get into this book because I really didn’t like one of the characters, but once I got into it, I couldn’t put it down.

The Woman In The Window: I was deep into this story from the beginning. What you assume is totally not the case, and worth the read.

The Wife Between Us: The title is not what you think! Twist and turns that will keep you guessing the whole time. I loved this book. A total page turner.

Still Me: If you’ve read Me Before You and After You, read this last sequel. I really enjoyed it to tie together the story.

Behind Closed Doors: Dark! Totally suspenseful. I read this in two days flat. If you love a good dark page-turner, grab this book!

Little Fires Everywhere: I really liked this book, but it took me a bit to get into. It’s not in my top 5, but I think it’s worth a read!

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F—: A great book for some life perspective!

The Power of Vulnerability (Audiobook): A great listen. If you love Brene Brown, you’ll love this listen.

Currently reading (on the beach):

Kelli’s top picks that she read this year:

These are largely non-fiction books, with a bend toward women in the work place and parenting.

Daring Greatly by Brene Brown: All of Brene Brown’s books are really fantastic if you are interested in understanding yourself and other humans a bit more empathetically and honestly, and this one is no different. Daring Greatly means leaning in to the hard and heavy stuff in your life to live more whole-heartedly. I found the section on raising kids also really game changing and self-affirming as well. Pick this one up if you’d like to be a better human.

How to Get Sh*t Done by Erin Falconer: This book isn’t about adding more items to your t0-do list, it’s actually about how to reduce what is on your to do list so you can truly get more (and meaningful) stuff done in your life. It is geared towards woman in the working world but also is just a great manifesto for woman living in this current day and age.

Know Your Value by Mike Brzezinski: If you are a woman living in 2018, you should read this book. This book talks about everyday struggles that woman living now face, especially in the working world, and how to know your value and overcome them. This is a large statement but I would say this book was probably the most pivotal book I’ve read in my adult life.

Peaceful Parents, Happy Kids by Laura Markham: This book I’ve slowly been reading for about a year and during the rough cycles of parenting two toddlers I reread old chapters to remind myself of what is important. It’s a nice handbook to have to help have peaceful interactions in your home, without being preachy. And it offers great advice on how to truly connect with your children and empathize with them in a meaningful way.

How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish: This book should be given out to all parents when their children are born. It offers extremely practically advice on how to respect your children as whole beings that really creates a positive meaningful relationship with your children. If you are struggling with how to talk with your kids, or  are in need of some behavioral changes at home this is definitely a must read for all ages of kids. We all want to do better as parents and this is such a practical book to help you get there.

Currently Reading:

Adam’s top picks that he read this year:

My brother Adam Kornblum is one of the most interesting, creative, intellectual, hard-working guys I know! I’m not just saying that because he’s my brother! Learn more about him through his LinkedIn here! His books reflect him so perfectly with a mix of history, education, psychology and more.

The Laws of Human Nature by Robert Greene: This author (famous for The 48 Laws of Power, 33 Strategies of War and more) offers real insight into human behavior, and provides interesting historical stories to show you how he derived at the insight, and then provides action steps to utilize each law. You can read the book in a linear fashion or through individual chapters. Both are utterly rewarding.

Principles by Ray Dalio: Ray Dalio is the founder of Bridgewater, one of the largest financial hedgefunds in the world. He shares the principles that helped him succeed both personally and professionally.  One of the differentiators of his business principles is his “radical transparency” environment. In short, everything is recorded and feedback is swift and brutally honest. It’s not for everyone but it certainly is an interesting concept. You can also follow Ray on social media—he provides the key points of each of his Principles.

A Treatise of Human Nature by David Hume: If you ever had thoughts on why people behave the way they do but feel you just can’t articulate how to say it, read David Hume. He’s an 18th century philosopher and truly deciphers human nature in an easy-to-digest way. Hume defines laws of human nature, specially analyzing what governs human behavior—concluding that passion trumps reason. It has been said that Hume is responsible for cognitive science and is one of the most influential figures in the history of philosophy.

How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie is a must-read for me every year! Some of what Carnegie shares are things which you know but truly need to be reminded of. For example, simply remembering someone’s name or legitimately caring about what others care about makes the difference. In the end, you’ll realize influencing people happens when you care. And, when you care, you find yourself winning friends which builds prosperous relationships. When both parties win in a relationship, it’s less about influencing by itself.

Ogilvy on Advertising in the Digital Age by Miles Young: Ogilvy is one of the largest advertising agencies in the world and I’m proud to have worked there for six and half years. Miles Young, Ogilvy’s former Chairman & CEO, and now the Warden of New College, picks up where the great David Ogilvy left off [in his book Ogilvy on Advertising]. Young shares key marketing principles in the digital age highlighting some of the best marketing and communications work in the last decade. He explains digital marketing easily and very clearly.

Re-reading Influence by Robert Cialdini: In college I read Philosophical Explanation by Robert Nozick, that breaks down the difference between coercion and influence. It read as if he viewed the world in black and white. You are either influencing to convince people or coercing (or failing at both, of course). Coercing someone is as bad as it sounds which led me on a quest to understand what influencing behavior actually means. Robert Cialdini’s Influence doesn’t solely tell you why people react like they do,  but he advises you to look out for the tricks so you don’t fall for them yourself. I also recommend Cialdini’s sequel Pre-Suasion, too. When I started my career, I created a game and was able to sell it to Hasbro. Having no knowledge of the business world, I relied heavily on this book, as well as others,  to help me avoid a few traps. I re-read Influence every year.

Walt Disney by Neil Gabler: Walt Disney had a lot of struggles from when he started his career as an animator to the early days of The Walt Disney Company. Disney proves that with intense focus, a strive for pure excellence, and to act with the utmost conviction whether you’re right or wrong are keys to success and purpose in life.

Republic by Plato: What I love about philosophy is despite reading this book at least 20 times, I discover something new each time. As another Greek philosopher once closely remarked, No person ever steps in the same river twice, for it’s not the same river and he/she not the same person. If you only read one excerpt, you should read The Allegory of the Cave (VII). The movie The Matrix’s illustrates the meaning. Both the passage and the movie ask the same metaphysical question around ‘what is real?’

And lastly my husband Mike’s top picks he read this year:

Mike’s list, much like Adam, reflects a varied range of non-fiction, spirituality and history!

Sapiens and Homo Deus by Yuval Noah Harari: Unbelievable perspectives of understanding out history as a human species and where we may be going in the future. Sapiens should is a must read for anyone.

Can’t Hurt Me by David Goggins: A no-nonsense book about cutting through the bullshit of your mind that says you can’t do something. Also an incredibly moving memoir of someone who has experience incredibly deep struggle in their life.

A Theory of Everything by Ken Wilbur: An introduction to Integral theory, which is an incredible way of understanding the world. If you often listen to opposing perspectives and think they are both right, this book is for you.

Cutting Through Spiritual Materialism by Chogyam Trungpa: Embarking on a spiritual path can always lead to you thinking that you are a “spiritual person” This ends up being a massive pitfall. This book is the best antidote to that.

When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi: An incredibly emotional and eyeopening memoir about the medical system.

Atomic Habits by James Clear: The best and most complete advice for creating habits and properly sticking to them.

Lexi’s Reading List for 2019:

I’ll Be Gone in the Dark

Then She Was Gone

YOU

The Kind Worth Killing

Into the Water

The Perfect Nanny

Tempting Fate

Ghosted

Educated, A Memoir

Into the Darkest Corner

The Good Girl

Everything We Left Behind

A Stranger in the House

One Day in December

All We Ever Wanted

Our Kind 0f Cruelty

Before We Were Yours

Recommended by you (via Instagram!):

The Four Agreements

Michelle Obama’s Becoming

The Dinner List

Calypso

Verity

When Life Gives you Lululemons

Girl’s Night Out

The Story Ends with Us

Crazy Rich Asians

The Simple Favor

Homegoing

Eight Hundred Grapes

The Perfect Couple

The Nightingale (read this)

The Help (read this)

P.S. This post may contain affiliate links. By shopping through these links, we make a (very small) percentage of your sale. You don’t pay any more! This helps support the growth of LCK and our team, so thank you in advance! All our love!

What books did you read this year that you loved?

Source: https://lexiscleankitchen.com/2018-books/

[fangirlingnextgen]

It is here! The wedding fic! Enjoy!

I knew this day would be one to remember as soon as my best friends barged into my room.

Of course, I know that they are not all totally sane. Aliya and Sophia joined the rebels, and we can’t forget crazy Tracie. But the way they barged in with silver and gold balloons and all in light pink bathrobes. Saniya had even gone so far to stitch bridesmaids on the back of them, with exception of Sophia. She had maid of honor on hers, as promised months ago.

I would have never expected that my big day would be like this. Surrounded with the crazy people I love the most, my crazy friends. For goodness sake, I was marrying the Prince of Illéa!

Karlie keeps herself busy with my hair as I joke and talk with the girls. They are all here. Aliya, Sophia, Tracie, Aileen, Elaine and my maids. The atmosphere in the room is amazing. The rack with their bridesmaid dresses stands waiting for them in the corner of the room and the floor is scattered with clothing we won’t even be wearing.

‘’Are you nervous?’’ Elaine asks with closed eyes. One of her own maids applies her make-up with precise as the others lounge around a little. Saniya is curling Aileen’s hair and smiles at me as she catches me staring at the two of them.  

‘’So, nervous that I feel like I’m about to throw up everything I’ve eaten in the past nineteen years.’’ I joke and clutch my stomach to exaggerate my statement as they laugh.

‘’I hope not, your dress took awful long to make.’’ Dana says and winks at me. ‘’wait you were supposed to wear your mother’s dress, right?’’ Aliya ask as she raises an eyebrow at me and I smile back at her. ‘’You got two dresses!’’ Aileen guesses and I nod with the biggest smile on my face just yet.

‘’A girl needs her party dress.’’ Elaine smirks and Tracie gives me a high-five. ‘’Can we see it?’’ I shake my head, occurring that Karlie lets out a little yelp as she tries to hold my hair together. ‘’Sorry!’’ I giggle and she sighs dramatic. Today everything had to be perfect to them. For me, it was already Everything has to be perfect.

When my hair and make-up is done, the other girls get ready to change into their dresses and I get to have some time alone.

I decide to step onto my balcony, a total different world compared to the bedroom filled with laughter and chatter. The gardens where my room is looking out to is stretched out all the way to where I can see the greenhouse. If I could hold the whole wedding in that damn thing I would have. Somehow it had such a deep meaning for me, and I only knew the place for a couple of months.

First kiss, first I love you, the proposal..

This balcony is one of the closer ones to the garden so it’s no surprise I can hear voices all the way from here. I can’t help my curiosity and lean over the border to stare down. My gaze falls down on four guys, in suits, talking to each other. They laugh from time to time to and I smile as I recognize the middle guy.

I never thought I would ever experience this moment but I could recognize him out of a thousand men. Even from up here I can see that Haiden is quite nervous and my heart starts beating twice as hard.

I turn around and stick my head around the corner of the balcony doors. ‘’You won’t believe your eyes!’’ I tell them the girls and they give me confused glances but walk over anyway.

As they look down just as I did, Tracie is the first one to realize who they are. And it wouldn’t be Tracie if she doesn’t immediately starts screaming. ‘’No way!’’ she yells and we laugh as the guys their heads shoot up to the balcony. ‘’Oh no!’’ Aileen yells and drags me away from the border before Haiden can get a chance to see me.

I hear Aliya yell down something to the guys as I can only laugh when Tracie shuts the door.

‘’That was close!’’ she says what earns her even more laughter.

 When it’s finally my time to get the dress on, Sophia is the one to help me. We gather in my large walk-in-closet, just the two of us to surprise the other girls in a couple of moments. With lots of giggles I step into my dress and she helps my arms into the lace sleeves and buttons the back of the heavy dress. It’s all lace that flairs out in an A-line. The body covers my chest with lace as well and I have to admit that I have never felt this pretty.

‘’Oh my God Mila.’’ Sophia says as I turn around and she clasps a hand over her mouth. ‘’You are beautiful!’’ I tear up and pull her in a tight hug. ‘’Thank you.’’ I tell her and she holds me at arm length. ‘’No, don’t cry.’’ She carefully wipes my tears away and I let out a soft laugh.

‘’He is so lucky with you.’’ She mumbles and looks at me as the whole picture. My veil and bouquet missing but it all fits just the same.

We’re here together, celebrating the most important decision in my life. I could not be luckier nor happier.

‘’Remember Soph? When you were leaving?’’ she nods and I take her hands. ‘’That we were talking about our future lives, and promised each other we would be maid of honors? I think we might be living that fantasy.’’ Her smile covers her face and she hugs me once more.

‘’Ready for the big reveal?’’ I nod brave and squeeze her hands once more as she makes her way over to the door. As she lays her hand on the doorknob I brace myself for their reactions and walk with her towards the door.

I’m not even in full view as I hear their gasps and I grin from ear to ear. The whole room goes silent as the girls clutch their hands over their hearts and mouths. I am the first one of our ‘’group’’ to get married. How many times will we gasp? How many tears will be shed? Good tears. From this day forward there would only be happy tears.

A couple of those happy tears stream down my face and we share some more hugs. It leaves me almost crying all over again but I manage to keep myself together.

All of our heads turn towards my opening bedroom door. Tracie already has her bat in her hands before I can see that it’s my mother. Tracie realizes this too and puts her bat down. At the sight of me my mom immediately starts crying and I rush over to her embracing her in a tight hug. My make-up is ruined anyway so I pour it all out as she holds me to her chest.

‘’You look breathtaking.’’ As she pulls away and faces the other girls in the room. ‘’You all do. Now let’s get this bride ready before she changes her mind.’’ ‘’Won’t happen mom, never.’’

 Mom’s acting a little nervous and I can’t blame her. The day itself is nerve wrecking at it is. As she keeps checking her watch and looking around the hall I can’t help but to search around as well. We have everyone, right? Bridesmaids, mom, Kian. The guests and the boys already waiting. Even I am here, we haven’t lost the bride.

I raise an eyebrow as it occurs to me that someone is missing indeed.

‘’Mom?’’ I ask and my mother looks at me as if she knows what I’m about to ask her. ‘’W-where’s dad?’’ she sighs and takes my hands, leading me away from my entourage.

‘’I’m so sorry, dear. His.. flight got delayed and he is trying everything that he can to be here. But.. I’m afraid he won’t make it.’’ I frown. ‘’What do you mean he won’t make it? Dad knew that he should be here today. It has been planned for over a month.’’ I bite on my lip, probably smudging my lipstick. ‘’Why didn’t he travel to the palace together with you?’’ ‘’He said he had work left to do, again I’m sorry.’’ She sounds like she’s on the edge of tears and I shake my head.

He could work all year long but this specific day he wouldn’t be here because of that stupid work. He always did this, and today too. I joked about him missing this day and he did. I wanted to say I hated him, for doing this to mom and Kian. To me. my father isn’t here to give me away to my husband. His only daughter.. but I don’t hate him. it would be a waste of energy.

‘’No, no it’s not your fault mom.’’ I assure but can’t help to feel sad. ‘And now?’’ I ask a little helplessly. ‘’He’s supposed to walk me down the aisle!’’ my voice pitches and that attracts the attention of the others. ‘’What’s wrong?’’ Ali asks and touches my shoulder.

‘’My father isn’t here, his flight got delayed.’’ ‘’You are not canceling the wedding, right?’’ I shake my head once again. ‘’No, everything has been arranged. We can’t postpone it.’’ I sigh out deep and rub my forehead. Please, no headaches, don’t ruin it any more.

I feel some tugging at my dress and I swear if anyone is stepping on it I’ll start to scream.

Luckily no one is ruining the dress, it’s Kian tugging at my dress. He’s looking handsome as ever in his customized suit. ‘’Are you okay?’’ he signs and I smile brave at him. ‘’Yes, everything is fine.’’ I tell him and turn to mom. ‘’You haven’t told him?’’ ‘’No, I haven’t yet.’’ She confesses and I feel another tug.

‘’You’re upset.’’ Kian says and pouts a little. I kneel down to his height. ‘’Dad can’t be here today. He’s stuck at the airport so he won’t be attending my wedding.’’ I explain and he frowns just like I did. Kian knows how weddings go, after all my mom and I watched countless of episodes of bridal shows making him watch them with us.

‘’I can be dad.’’ That makes me laugh as I don’t think I understood him right.

‘’You’re a little young to be a father.’’ he rolls his eyes before smiling. ‘’I’ll walk you.’’ ‘’Down the aisle, you mean?’’ he nods so enthusiastic that I can’t help but laugh. ‘’It’s a little odd but of course, I wouldn’t want anyone else giving me away.’’ I hug him close and mom is the only one who clearly understood. She goes off telling the girls.

‘’You won’t forget me? Now you’re with him.’’ I laugh and push some hair out of Kian’s face. ‘’You’ll always be the number one man in my life.’’ I tell him.

 ‘’Ready?’’ ‘’Can you ever be ready for this moment?’’ Aileen laughs while shaking her head, adjusting my veil a little. ‘’I guess not but you’ll be fine, let’s call your brother and you’re ready to go.’’ I let out a shaky breath and try not to think about all that can go wrong.

Instead, I try to focus on all the fun parts. The ceremony is just a formality, tonight we would have fun.

The bridesmaids leave and mom is already seated so it’s not up for me to show up, say some words and kiss. Focus on that kiss.

My mom was already seated, my maids were now up there too. All I had to do was show up, say some words, kiss. Focus on that kiss.

Kian takes my left hand and I hold tight on both him and the bouquet of roses. I finally agreed on damn roses. I squeeze Kian’s hand and he looks back at me smiling too before the doors opens which means I my que to walk.

When I walk into the room I’m not even focused on all the people watching me now, nor on the fact that I could trip over my dress and fall on my face. no, in fact all I see is my soon to be husband waiting at the altar for me. Although, he’s not the first thing I see, his suit is.  

You could not get around it, the suit was way too neon purple for that. he’s smiling at me like a goof and I can’t help but to let out a small laugh as well. I hear the people around me aww, and I wonder if it’s because of me or Kian at my side. I hope it’s him.

I’m standing in front of Haiden before I know it as we hold still. Aileen has trouble holding in her laugh and I shoot her an amused glance shaking my head at the both of them.

I kneel down, giving Kian one last hug and kiss his forehead. ‘’Thank you.’’ I sign and he just smiles. Before he walks towards mom, Kian signs something to Haiden and to my surprise, he understands. He nods his head with a smile and that is good enough for Kian. I tear up once again as Kian places my hand in that from Haiden.

His hands are just as sweaty as mine and I see the nerves are equal too.

‘’You look interesting.’’ I whisper to him which makes him chuckle. ‘’Y-you look beautiful, without the purple then.’’ He whispers back and I squeeze his hands as a tear rolls down.

We made it. We held on to the very end and we made it. With bruises and cuts and broken hearts and insecurity. All the secrets and night full of tears. I hope he was happy, because I am. And this all had been worth the fight.

 The music plays softly through the room as I lay my head on his shoulder. This was it, this is the moment I have dreamed of all these years. Dancing with my husband, surrounded with the people we love and are part of our lives.

‘’How long do we have to do this?’’ he asks me and I giggle. ‘’Till the song is over.’’ I reply and look at him. ‘’You’re beautiful you know.’’ ‘’You aren’t bad yourself either. The suit is though, how did you even get one like that?’’ he smirks and kisses my cheek. ‘’You’ll have to ask Aileen.’’ I roll my eyes playfully.

‘’We’ll be getting rid of it, I heard fire therapy works.’’ ‘’Oh, you and your fires.’’ Haiden sighs.

‘’You do understand I have to make them live with us?’’ ‘’Even Tracie?’’ I nod. ‘’Even Tracie.’’ another dramatic sigh and I can’t help but to laugh. ‘’As you wish, my love.’’ He finally says and that is all it takes. 

Sometimes, dreams (or crushes on Princes) do come true.