#i guess the strangest part is looking at a picture knowing somebody is dead

[shardsofapril]

it’s just weird

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #368

“whatever doesn’t kill you, is gonna leave a scar”

Have you ever bought a YouTuber’s merch? My favorite shirt is the Day of the Dead design by Cloak, which is Markiplier's and jacksepticeye's clothing brand. Mom's friend/former co-worker also got me a Ninja Sex Party shirt because she knew I liked them. There are SO MANY YouTubers I wanna support by buying shirts. Do you think oatmeal tastes better when made with water or milk? Milk, 110%. Have you ever left a note in a library book? No. What time of day do you prefer to wash your hair? Morning. Has anyone ever spread lies about you? Yes. Have you ever taken a photograph with a celebrity? If so, did it turn out the way you wanted, or do you wish you could retake it? No. If you could move out of your home country permanently, would you? If so, where would you go? If it didn't mean being so very far from my family, I would love to move to Canada. Is there a celebrity that everyone else seems to love, but you find totally overrated? Why is it that you don’t like them? I legit don't know who's considered currently popular, and I especially don't know who they are as people. If you could volunteer for any charity, which one would you choose? Do you think it’s more important to help humans, or are animal and environmental charities equally important? Something relating to animals, and I think they're both equally important. Do you prefer holidays where you relax, or actually do things? I like a mix. Something chill, but you still do some stuff as a family. Do you think that after we die our spirit is still alive? Yes. Has anybody ever told you that you could be a model? Someone has mistaken me for a model in a picture I once took. It was one of the most flattering things I've ever heard, haha. Do you use different kinds of moisturizer for different body parts? ie. hand lotion for your hands, face cream for your face. Or do you just use one moisturizer for all body parts? Yes. Have you ever felt like you were someone’s rebound? No. Has anybody ever broken up with you over something really pathetic? What was it? Have you ever been dumped in a disrespectful way? (eg. through text, through a friend..) I have 100% been dumped in a very cowardly and disrespectful way; after dating Jason for nearly four years and being very serious, he broke up with me very abruptly over Facebook Messenger. His reason was valid, but at the same time, he NEVER talked to me about it. Apparently my depression was dragging him down. If he'd fucking communicated it, I would have explored new treatment options so goddamn fast. But no, he decided to snap his fingers and disappear. That's exactly WHY it was so traumatic, I think: it was so unexpected and sudden. Did you have a lot of role models as a kid? Animal enthusiasts like Steve Irwin and Jeff Corwin for sure. Do you feel like anyone looks up to you? Why or why not? God no. I'm just... not someone to aspire to be like. What was the last thing you found offensive? I'm not sure. Who is the nicest person you know? My mom. Do you feel safe in your country? I feel safe in NC, rather. Like I don't expect an atom bomb or terrorist attack or something in this obscure area. In the U.S.A. itself, sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. America is definitely not loved by every other country. Do you feel safe where you live? Not in this city, no. Have you been falsely diagnosed with something by a bad doctor? Yup. Did y'all know I apparently have ADHD? I know, shocking. Have you ever had a doctor refuse to treat you? No. Name the strangest game you’ve ever played (video game or real game): The first Silent Hill, probably. It took a lot of reading to get it. Do you know anyone who has been struck by lightning before? No. Which cartoon character would you want to keep as a pet? Does Stitch count? Or a Pokemon. Do you like marshmallows? Yes. What is your favorite flavor of candy cane? I really like the Jolly Rancher candy canes, I think they are? Have you ever fostered an animal? No. Do you still take hot showers when it’s hot out? Not as hot, but not cold except on very extreme occasions. When writing $ sign, do you draw one line through the S or two? Two. What animal have you always wanted as a pet but couldn’t have? I'm thankful that my parents were pretty open-minded to what pets I really wanted, but one I was never allowed to have was a ferret because of how messy and smelly they are. List three people you’ve had crushes on: Jason, Sara, and Sebastian were probably my biggest crushes. Have you ever thrown up from cramps? No, but god have I felt close. List three people you had a hard time forgiving. Jason, Colleen, and my dad. Who is the most spiritual person you know? Probably my sister's mother-in-law. Would you ever start a vlog? God no, I'd bore people to tears. Are your dreams coming true yet? I mean, I guess in some ways with my mental health. In my deepest depression, what I have now was a dream, even though current me is very discontent with it. Most of my dreams, though? No. Do you struggle with depression? I've been diagnosed with severe depression since 7th grade. Are you haunted by your past? A few things won't leave me alone. What medical conditions do you have? Just a lot. There are even more that are up for debate. I've talked about my diagnosed conditions enough. Do you use a Magic Bullet? No. What does your apron look like? I don’t have one. What are your favorite spicy foods? Hot Cheetos, Takis, hot wings, jalapeno pizza... Man, I love spicy food. Which do you like better: being an adult or being a kid? Being a kid. Were you excited to be a teenager on your thirteenth birthday? I had very mixed feelings. Did you feel insecure in high school? Shit, I still do. Would you ever be friends with someone who was suicidal? What the FUCK is this question? No fucking shit I would be. Someone being suicidal in no way affects who they are as a person. Who was the biggest bully in high school? I don't think there really was one. What was your favorite class in high school? Art. Would you rather have a daughter or a son? If I wanted kids, a daughter. Have you ever written to an advice columnist? No. Have you ever had a doctor not believe what you told him? Maybe? I did however have an employee at the ER the first time I went try to pry out of me that my self-mutilation was for attention, and it wasn't until I insisted about a dozen times that it wasn't that he believed me. It's odd looking back that I got REALLY attached to him during that stay, knowing now that it was absolutely horrible and extremely unhelpful for him to do that. If you’re female, would you feel uncomfortable having a male gynecologist? I would absolutely refuse to have a male one. Do you like Lisa Frank? Yeah, like can you talk about aesthetic. What gives you nightmares? Boy, I wish I could tell you, given how much I have them. Were you ever hospitalized as a child? No. Did you get senior pictures taken? No. What color is your bicycle? I don’t have one. Did you ever have to take home a fake baby in health class? No, thank fuck. Would you rather wear ivory or white on your wedding day? What color will your bridesmaids wear? I'd rather wear black. I think red will be the bridesmaids' color. Would you rather have a swimming pool or trampoline? I want a swimming pool so damn badly so I could exercise my legs without worrying about sweating, and I can stop and rest whenever I want, unlike going walking or something. I don't think my knees could handle a trampoline. Do you think babies are cute? Some, sure. But a lot, not really. Do you dream about the future a lot? Yeah. Do you think about your past a lot? Way too frequently. How good are you at living in the moment? I'm trying to get better at it. Have you ever questioned God’s existence? Yeah. Vanilla frosting or chocolate? Chocolate. What’s your favorite foreign cuisine? I've actually been exploring Italian pasta lately. I'm not a big fan of foreign food that I've tried, though. Have you ever moved to another state? No. Did you do anything productive today? No. .-. Can you say the alphabet backwards? No, actually. Do you like flowers? Of course; does anyone not? Have you ever thought you were gonna die? I didn't care if I did or didn't. What kind of mood are you in today? I was honestly really depressed through most of it. Just health stuff was really getting to me. I just woke up from what was honestly like a four-hour nap and I feel all right, I guess. What are you craving right now? I REALLY want Domino's jalapeno pizza. Is there anyone you would seriously punch right now if you had the chance? No. What is worse, physical or emotional pain? Definitely emotional. Have you ever walked in on somebody doing something… questionable? When Dad still lived with us, I think he might have been watching... you know... on TV when I came into my parents' room for something. Idk for sure though. I didn't ask, and I don't want to know. If you were to make videos on YouTube, what would they be of? Oh god, idk. I don't want to make any. What I'd have most fun with would be reptile education, but I 1.) have literally one snake, 2.) am not extremely educated on a good number of them and don't want to be misleading, and 3.) I would run outta content fast. So, leave it to Snake Discovery, haha. Posting pictures of yourself in a bathing suit on the internet - ok or not? Yes, it's okay????? If you're talking about me personally though, you won't see me dead in a bathing suit picture. Do you typically laugh when somebody falls down? No, I gasp and see if they're okay. What is the most disturbing movie you’ve ever watched? Paranormal Entity. The ending is... a lot. Your opinion of Katy Perry, please? I like a couple of her songs. If you could say anything to your Mom right now… what would it be? "Thank you for absolutely everything."

[kermitbread]

did somebody say tsukanene? no? ok here ya go

It's also in my AO3, as always

What a rather confuzzling situation he was in.

Tsukasa didn't know how this whole attachment with Nene began. All he knew was that one day, he decided that maybe he'd give liking his brother's assistant a try.

Certainly it doesn't seem like he wants to stop any time soon.

Did he like her in "that" way, though? Who knows? Amane seemed to feel that way towards her, he can even tell. Why should he be throwing a fit if her attention's all at his older brother and not him sometimes?

Why should he be mad if she smiles at someone else instead of him?

This particular human confused him. She confused him so much. What was it about her that made her so special to Amane, anyway? Besides her shortening lifespan, and those strange looking ankles, everything else about her seemed… average in comparison.

She didn't seem to be disturbed by his oddness anymore. Like that one time he began leaving dead birds around the bathroom for her to find (his own little way of giving gifts). As frightened as she was at first upon finding them, she'd just smile shakily at him before saying,

"Thank you for the present."

That was said so genuinely, he admit it left him unable to comprehend her words. Usually when he'd leave those nasty little gifts to Sakura she wouldn't say a word, but the disturbed look on her face was enough to tell him everything.

Thinking about it was too much hard work, though. Too stressful.

Yet he finds himself thinking about it anyway.

He sat by the rooftop, by the edge, legs swinging back and forth. His face deep in thought, so much that even if his kokujoudai tried to poke him, he wouldn't snap back to reality.

Well, his train of thought came to a halt when the door suddenly opened behind him, along with footsteps.

"Waah, I can relax today for once!" Nene stretched her arms up, a smile on her face. According to Kou, Hanako had gone off to an important meeting with the Seven Mysteries, so it meant she didn't have to clean the toilets today.

She took a whiff of the fresh air, not noticing Tsukasa watching her up from a distance intently. That was, until he decided to deliberately throw himself at her from behind.

"Nene!"

"Eh—Tsukasa-kun?!" She took a moment to balance herself as he stuck onto her back at once. Managing to stay on her feet was a race against time, especially with the twins charging at her with such speed.

"Amane's not with you today? Did he go to those boring meetings again?"

"Yeah, Kou-kun said it was important. What are you doing here all alone, Tsukasa-kun?" Nene took a breather when he finally pulled back, settling for floating right in front of her instead.

He could only shrug. "I wanted to play with Amane but seems like he's out of the picture. He can be so boring sometimes, ya know?" 

"I guess so…" She muttered. "Why not play with your friends at the broadcasting club? Nanamine-senpai seems to have free time."

"Sakura won't play with me. That other guy's not around either. Mitsuba's probably hanging out with that zappy kid. But Nene's here anyway, so it's fine!!" Tsukasa seemed perfectly happy saying those words, which slightly disturbed her.

Despite being polar opposites, there was one thing the twins had in common, and that was they hid a lot of their true emotions deep inside.

They really are brothers, huh?

And so, one thing lead to another, and Nene found herself being accompanied around the school hallways by Tsukasa. She had to stop him from scaring a few unfortunate people here and there with his pranks, although it wasn't as bad as what he'd be prone to do.

"Tsukasa-kun! Don't break the windows!" She tugged at the back of his clothes, dragging him away from her classroom before he could commit another crime.

He laughed, because why wouldn't he? "I wasn't gonna do that! I was gonna break the lights!"

"That's even worse!"

"Yashiro-san?" The voice of her classmate Akane made her stop pulling at Tsukasa and drop him on the floor, making him let out a noise as he collided downwards.

Akane took one look at her, then at Tsukasa, then at her again. He wasn't one to judge that much, but Nene hung out with the strangest people, apparition or not. And he wasn't blind either, as he was perfectly aware that this boy next to her wasn't the Honorable No. 7.

"You're Honorable No. 7's brother, aren't you?"

Tsukasa grinned at that, pointing at himself. "That's right! And I think you're that clockkeeper guy! Amane's told me all aboutcha!" Cue some useless rambling that seemed to go on forever and ever.

"Yashiro-san, you get involved with a lot of weirdos, you know that?" Akane ignored Tsukasa and turned back to Nene, who grimaced at his remark.

"I can… see that." She gritted out. It wasn't easy being her at all.

Finally stopping his chattering, Tsukasa blurted out, "Hey, aren't you also that guy who has a crush on that girl? Aoi? Yeah, she looks like an elementary school kid more than anything."

Akane's mood suddenly turned sour, and Nene feared for the worst. "What did you just say, you stupid little brat?"

Tsukasa, upon seeing his darkening face, smirked. "I said what I said, four-eyes."

Oh no. Oh no no no no no no. Nene chanted in her mind. Why did Tsukasa have to provoke him?! When it came to her best friend, Akane wouldn't hesitate to send you to your doom if you made one wrong move.

"It seems… you want to experience a second death. I don't care if you're Honorable No. 7's brother, no one insults Ao-chan like that and gets away with it." Even in his civilian form, Nene could feel the strong aura of power coming from the redhead.

She had to stop him before things could get worse!

Why isn't Tsukasa-kun moving?! He could get hurt! Oh, come on!

"S—"

Akane was just about to bludgeon the ghost to oblivion when—

"—STOOOOPPP!!!'

Nene had forced herself in the middle of the two boys, arms spread outwards, shielding Tsukasa from the angry Akane. The redhead stopped in his tracks, blinking owlishly at her.

"Eh—Yashiro-san?! Why'd you get in my way? I'm trying to defend Ao-chan's honor!"

"You seriously need to calm down, Akane-kun!" She shouted. "Tsukasa-kun was only joking around! He didn't mean anything he said!"

"I absolutely did—" Tsukasa didn't even get to finish his sentence when Nene clamped a hand on his mouth, shutting him up.

With a deep breath, she continued, "Maybe you need to learn how to differentiate a joke and a serious sentence next time."

Akane stared at her for a moment, then sighed, rolling his eyes. "I dunno what's with you defending the disaster twins so much. You're crazy, you know that, Yashiro-san?"

You're the one to talk!

"But, it seems that I gotta let it go for now. I won't be merciful to you next time, you shrimp." Akane narrowed his eyes at Tsukasa, in which the ghost responded by sticking his tongue out mockingly.

By the time the boy left, Nene let out a sigh of relief, letting her shoulders loose from the tension. It was a good thing Akane had made the decision to stop or the bloodshed would have been horrifying to witness.

Why was hanging around with Tsukasa becoming more like a babysitting job?!

She started to pity Sakura a lot more now.

"Maybe we should also work on your communication skills, Tsukasa-kun." She managed to drag herself to the girl's bathroom, hoping Hanako was finally done with his meeting and she could get some peace of mind.

Unfortunately for her, he wasn't around yet, as the two of them were met with an empty bathroom with nothing but Mokke playing a match of hanafuda among themselves.

She resist the urge to groan, walking by the window and sitting on the floor next to the Mokke. Tsukasa had been strangely quiet since their trek to his brother's domain, which was unusual of him.

In fact, he had been looking quite concerning. A look of melancholy that mirrored that of Hanako's, but at the same time didn't seem to belong on his face.

"You know what?" He had spoken up from out of nowhere, startling her a bit. A Mokke in his hand, he sat by her side, pulling on the creature's ears like a stretchy toy.

"I've never been with someone this long before. Amane usually plays with me a lot, but he'd always be busy again before I know it."

He didn't notice how Nene looked surprised at that, as apparent to her widening eyes, mouth parting a little. So she was right, after all.

She turned her gaze down to her hands. An awkward silence hung around the bathroom for a while, as she began racking her brain with various thoughts. Sure, Tsukasa was a force to be reckoned with, but even ghosts like him felt a little lonely.

And even ghosts like him needed a little bit of cheering up sometimes.

Nene didn't even know why, but she did it anyway.

"—!!" Tsukasa didn't have time to process what was happening, as soon as he felt her tug on the front of his shirt and pull him to the side.

His eyes became wide as he finally realized what she was doing.

It was a quick peck on the cheek, but he could still feel the sensation of her lips on his skin, even if it was only for a second.

No sound escaped his mouth, as he remained uncharacteristically silent, frozen like a statue.

Nene let him go, feeling flustered and shy in front of him all of a sudden. Who wouldn't be? She just kissed him on the cheek out of all people!

"I—I just thought… you needed some cheering up, t-that's all!"

He didn't reply, nor made eye contact. As Nene tried to get his attention, the door of the bathroom opened, and Kou stepped in.

"Senpai! Hanako's done with his meeting! He's calling us by the rooftop!"

"Oh—right! I'll be right there!" Brushing the imaginary dirt off her uniform, she rushed over to Kou, but not before turning to the dazed Tsukasa on the floor and waving her hand.

"I'll see you later, Tsukasa-kun!"

By the time the bathroom door closed, Tsukasa blinked back to his senses. The Mokke surrounded him, quite curious about his sudden change of attitude.

For what seemed like the first time in a long while, he couldn't deny that she had just made his heart race.

He tilted the edge of his hat downwards, lips pressed in a thin line, as he desperately tried to hide the growing redness escaping his cheeks.

Yashiro Nene confused him so much. So, so much.

[wckdwinchesters]

Sweet One | (part one)?

Michael Langdon x fem reader.

Summary: you’ve survived the nuclear apocalypse and now you’re stuck in a bunker. you stumble across a book and you find out you have powers. You buried them but someone comes along and knows all about you and your secrets.

Warning: none.

Word count: 3716

A/N: This is my first time writing fanfic or however you want to call it and I know it extremely long. I really don’t know how it works that much but so please enjoy this mess and send me criticism so I could get better and tell me if I should continue it!

When I imagined the end of the world often I thought of the apocalypse or the sun swallowing the earth but mankind self-destructed itself and well I guess that says more about us.

 The end of the world was unexpected to say the least, one minute you’re working at your shitty job next you’re on a private jet plane with a bunch of rich assholes flying to an unknown location while watching bombs drop on the city. Honestly, when I looked out the window I felt nothing for those poor souls down there. We were killing our planet and someone just decided to pull the plug early.

 18 months

18 freaking months of eating plain food, following absurd rules, playing dress up in Victorian wear and being with the most spoiled self-entitled people left in the world. I think I probably would’ve been better off having my skin bubble off with the rest of humanity and I realize just now how entitled I was being, complaining about this when most of the world is dead or dying. I think the reason I’m so miserable is because of the company I’ve been in. I mean, a bunch of rich narcissistic people complaining every single day and I can’t connect with any of them because no one is like me.

 When the alerts went out I was at my job being an assistant to Coco St. Pierre Vanderbilt. I was sitting in the waiting area of the hair salon waiting for her to be finished. I went up to her and said “It’s time for your daily health post.” she blurted out “So rude, can’t you see I’m getting my hair styled? Her stylist and also her only friend named Mr. Gallant whispered to her not subtly “fire her.” I rolled my eyes and sat next to her in the empty styling chair and said “Do you want me to post an old photo of you? I really like this one you took yesterday.”

I said turning the phone for her to see when an alert almost made me drop it. I turned the phone back to me when everyone phone started going off at the same time. I looked at the screen and back to Coco and Mr. Gallant then back to screen trying to see if it was a joke then Coco’s phone rang and her father’s voice came through very rough and laced with fear. She asked her dad what was happening and midway through her sentence he interrupted her and said “Coco listen to me carefully; the alert is true and there’s a private jet waiting to take you someplace safe! Go now and take what you need. I’d meet you but unfortunately, it’s too late for us, we love you, honey.” he said and pointed his camera at their family. They had gone to Hong Kong for vacation and apparently it was too late because the nuke was already there and the camera went dark. After that she did what she was told and went to the airport and convinced me to go with her and the only reason I said yes was because I felt for some reason, I couldn’t refuse. While we were boarding Coco’s best friend/hair dresser convinced her to let him and his grandma Evie go also since she still has tickets to spare and she agreed given that her husband couldn’t make it in time and by then it was too late and we were up in the air watching nukes hit the city.

  Coco surprisingly convinced Ms. Venable the person who ran the Outpost, the safe haven Coco’s dad was talking about to make me a Purple instead of a Gray. Which were the Elite and the Grays being basically the servants and I really didn’t care either way cause ever since the world ended I felt numb and it been that way for 18 months and I mostly kept to myself and distracted myself with reading or trying to learn new things like languages and I was picking them up rather fast in such a short time and it was weird cause I’ve never spoken or even seen most of these languages.

I found old books on the shelf and it seemed like dictionaries for dead languages like Aramaic, Latin or Ancient Greek and the other books were oddly weird because they had symbols and different languages in them but seemed oddly familiar, which was strange given I’ve never read or learned these languages but when I finally did learn some words I re-read the books and they said such weird things like incantations and spells. So, I’m guessing the boys school that occupied this bunker before had a dark secret and I just stumbled across one. The strange thing wasn’t the spell book in my hands, but it was the feeling of holding it that felt natural to me that was strange. I felt some part of me struggle to let loose and say the incantation but I felt another part of me trying to drown the other feeling. Turns out the part that wanted to let loose won this time and I tried saying the spell half-heartedly and nothing happened but then I tried again with more feeling into it and the room went dark and the fireplace started burning as bright as ever and I felt such a flush of pure power that I pushed a bit further and the fireplace blew out and I was knocked back by my own strength and just like that everything returned back to how it was and I was in a state of shock but also, amazement.

I felt pure energy rushing through my veins and it was the best I felt in a long time but something was still missing. I decided to not cast spells in my room anymore unless I wanted to burn down the whole Outpost and I guess that’d be the way to go but I didn’t want to be caught in my own destruction. My magic started developing on its own and growing fast that I had to hold back and restrain myself from doing something in front any of the others. It started out small like telekinesis and starting small fires anytime someone pissed me off, I had to excuse myself from the dining room and headed to my room to calm down then the strangest thing happened, I seemed to be in one place and suddenly appear in the other. I was walking down the hall and I just pictured me in bed and there I was. That’s when I started to really restrain myself to the point of pain because if someone finds out, they’d probably burn me at the stake and I survived a nuclear war and I wasn’t about to be burned alive by senseless pampered idiots. I only used my powers in my locked room but outside it felt like hell cause having to restrain myself to the point of pain everyday was torture.

 It was a normal night when Mr. Gallant just snapped and said “What are you going to do? Shoot us all?!” then started to talk about the incident that happened a week ago. There had a breach in the bunker and one of the residents got contaminated with radiation or that’s what they said and well let’s just say, I wouldn’t want to get on Ms. Venable bad side. That’s when the bunker alarm started going off just as Ms. Venable and Ms. Mead went up to Mr. Gallant. Ms. Mead was like her personal security guard and both her and Ms. Venable’s face were pure confusion and a bit of fear because we’d heard rumors of the other Outposts being overrun and she probably thought somebody came to finally blow out our candle but I didn’t feel that was the case cause when she went to check on the problem she dismissed us to our rooms and it wasn’t till the next day we would find out what the breach was.

 His name is Michael Langdon and is an Agent of the Cooperative. He gave off such a vibe but I couldn’t distinguish it. The others gave off vibes also and it ranged from blistering anger to utter despair and loneliness. But his was, I don’t know how to explain it but it was like he locked a cage around his emotions and didn’t let anyone see inside it. As Ms. Venable introduced him, his eyes slide around the room as if looking for something or someone then came to rest upon mine. I had to look away because I felt like he was trying to look inside me which sounds weird and was absurd to think he could do that but he felt different. As I made my way to the back of the room of the main room, he had started to talk in front of the fire pit in the middle of the room. His voice sounded rich and soothing like honey and was pleasing to listen to but I wasn’t really paying attention to what he was saying but I did catch the words sanctuary and choosing who’s going. He was graceful and bewitching to look at and made my heart danced in my chest. I was perplexed on why I felt like this about a stranger and to be honest, I really didn’t care if I went or not. It was like trading a box of rotten red apples for a box of rotten green. Most of the people who were in Outpost weren’t good, honest people who could contribute something to humanity but the ones that were rich and spoiled enough to afford it and I felt like that was a waste.

 I had asked Coco what it was that he had said and apparently there’s a sanctuary with enough food for decades and the Cooperative sent Michael to choose which one of us come back with him to the safe haven now that Outpost is vulnerable to attacks and I just knew, I wouldn’t be chosen cause well I don’t have money or family name to open doors for me.

 Michael had been interviewing for half a week now, interviewing both Greys and Purples alike and I was the last to be interviewed.

 I had hesitated before I knocked. When I did the doors swung opened and he was dressed in black and he looked as handsome as the first day I saw him. I took him in, every detail from his long honey colored hair to the rings he wore on his hand. He hovered for a moment before motioning me to sit anywhere. I walked into the library and sat on a bench near the fireplace while Michael went to close the double doors that separated this room from the rest of the hallway. I sat there staring at him as he made his way over to sit across from me. The fire made his face and jawline appear sharper than it already was. I saw now that his eyes were like the sky after a storm beautiful and an angelic pure blue. They were alluring but dark like there was something hidden in them. I looked away because it felt the way when he first laid eyes on me. Like he was looking inside me and I didn’t know how to feel about that.

I stared at my hands on my lap for a while and I finally asked “Well, are you going to ask me something or are we going to keep being angsty and staring at each other before one of us dies of old age?” that made him grin a bit before he said “I know everything I need to know but I just want you to confirm it for me.” “And how would you know that if we’ve never spoken before? Did you look up my myspace page or something?” He laughed and said “The Cooperative does its research on its residents and I did my own digging.” I stared at him for a moment and replied with a teasing smile “You know how creepy that sounds right? I have nothing to hide anyways so ask away.”

I shifted in my long Lacey lavender dress and proceeded to stretch my legs out and waited for him to begin his questions. They started out simple. He asked my name and age and I replied “My name is (Y/N) and I’m 24.

He was talking again asking how I escaped the blast and what my old job was. His voice was soothing but firm, then he asked me something that had me taken aback and then he repeated the question like I didn’t hear it the first time. He had asked me, if I think any of these people deserved to live. I was confused not because of the question that wasn’t the thing that threw me off guard but the way he had asked it like it was the most normal question and I did nothing but stare at him not with confusion but with intrigue. He waited for my answer when I finally said “Well, it’s not up to me to decide that.” He said “Obviously, but I’d like to know your answer.” I shrugged and said “Are you trying to see if I’m loyal to these people? Cause if you are then your SOL. I’m only loyal to myself and I’m pretty sure if you ask anyone if they’d take a bullet for one another they’d probably tell you some bullshit about us being family to get you to take them to the sanctuary. This may look like a sweet place to live but you bet your ass these people would slit your throat to get something they wanted.” “And you wouldn’t do the same?”

I replied with a grin “I’d probably slit their throats just to get away from them, if I could get away with it.” I said with a chuckle to imply I was lying but I was actually being truthful. He had a smile on his face that made me think that I didn’t fool him. I wondered why he would ask a question like that and if I was the only person he asked it to. I got up to walk around the library and started tracing my finger on the bookcases and I still felt his gaze on me as I walked around the room. “I’m guessing this is where you spend most of your time.” “Better than being with those insufferable imbeciles talking about how much they miss shopping and the internet, I mean, it’s the end of the world what else could I do beside distract myself.”

I turned to look at him and he still had his eyes on me with pure curiosity but I was just wondering what he was thinking about because he looked deep in thought and he gave me a small smile. It made my heart fluttered so I gave him a small smile back and I almost didn’t notice that the fire behind him was burning brighter and I snapped out of that daze and restrained myself to the point of physical pain. He must have sensed something was wrong because I gripped one of the couches tight and he stood up to stand in front of me and I stood up straight and said I was fine and he questioned what was wrong and I replied with the same answer and he said “I can tell when people lie to me.” I gave him a small smile and said to him “It’s not a lie, it’s my truth.” I walked toward the fireplace again and I felt his gaze tracing me like a cold hand and I shivered a bit which was a bit odd being that I was standing in front of the fireplace. When I looked back over my shoulder up at him, his eyes were darkened with thought and just like that it was gone. I wondered to myself then said “Why? Why are you working for the Cooperative? Is it for survival? Why don’t you just take the sanctuary for yourself?”

He grinned at me and said “Are you suggesting I kill everyone left in the Cooperative? If you are then you are darker than I thought.” I scoffed at that and said “Dark? I’m not dark, I just rather keep to myself and not be associated with assholes.” I turned around the whole way and he was closer than before. He stood a few feet taller than me that I had to look up to see his face and he smelled like sweet roses and a light cologne.

  For months before the bombs dropped I felt out of place and different like something was missing but standing this close to Michael made me felt whole but I was as confused as in why since we’ve never met but it felt amazing to be in his presence but made me vulnerable because I couldn’t read him but I felt safe with him despite that. He was all cold and collected, some may have thought he was a robot or something and there were rumors and gossip which I took with a grain of salt but I could see now that he did have emotions but he kept them closely guarded. He whispered “Do you even care if you go to sanctuary or not?” I simply replied that I didn’t know because I didn’t and I rather someone choose for me because to be honest if I went there, I wouldn’t know what to do because what would happen to me if I slip up there?

I rather stay behind and kill whoever is left and be free to do what I want. I couldn’t believe I actually thought that but it was truly how I felt. and if Michael never came I’d probably would’ve snapped and killed everyone anyways. Michael presence made that dark part of me I tried to keep buried flourish and I liked how it felt. He made every part of me tingle. He lifted his hand and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and his hand lingered near my cheek and I closed my eyes and leaned into his touch and then that’s when the fireplace and candles burned hotter and brighter and the swell of power felt strong as he touched me.

I broke the connection between me and Michael. It felt stronger than anything I’ve ever felt and I didn’t really want to let him go. I was breathing hard and rushed to the door as I opened it Michael put a hand on it to stop it from opening any further and closed it and said “It’s okay, (Y/N). there’s no need to hide anymore, not from me.” I looked up at him in surprise and said “What are you talking about? I’m not hiding anything.” “Don’t lie to me. I saw and felt your power when I first laid eyes on you, darling.”

I stumbled back almost tripping on my own feet and dress. I leaned on the couch in front of the doors and whispered “I- don’t know what’s wrong with me, I can’t control it at times. Are you like me? how do you know?” he smirked at me and answered “I know many things and I know all about you, my sweet one.” The way he said it sounded eerily familiar and then I got such a bad headache that my vision blurred then I dropped to my knees and clutched my head and he rushed towards me and yelled my name and held me as darkness gripped the edges of my vision. I felt my lips say his name in a cry and then it was pure black.

When I woke up I was in different room, not the library but not my room either. My senses were slow to come back to me, the first one was smell and it smelled like roses. Before I came to, I had flashes of Michael with short hair and him smiling and the smell of roses. Michael was sitting at his desk staring at me in worry, I started to try to sit up when he came to help. “What happened to me? It felt like someone took a drill to my head.” Michael looked unnerved and fuming at the same time but he stiffened and said “What happened when you started getting a headache? What was going through your mind at that moment?” I sat up and said “those words you said made me think back but I felt like I hit a wall and my mind went through a shredder. Why did they sound so familiar like I heard them before?”

 Michael got up and started pacing the room and only looking once or twice towards me and I felt confused because he rarely displayed any emotions so I was a bit frayed. I was getting frustrated and was about to say something when he interrupts “I know what you’re going to say, ‘tell me what’s going on or else’ am I wrong?” “How did...” He finally stopped pacing and sat at the edge of the bed and said “Okay, what I’m going to tell you is going to sound insane but you have to believe me.” After a minute of silence after he told me, I was so shocked and felt so betrayed but it was like a missing piece came back and that some things finally made sense now. I don’t remember what I was doing before being employed by Coco. Not really. But what Michael just told me made me so livid that a nearby glass shattered. I put my head in my hands because I had such a flood of emotions then finally I looked up at Michael and moved close and placed my hands on his cheeks said gently “When I saw you, you made my heart throb so hard. I was scared cause I had no idea why I felt like that. Felt like there was a missing piece of me till I saw you.”

[vulpinmusings]

Letters from Buxcord 1- Christmas Greetings

My RPG group has started up a Monster of the Week campaign that may be alternating with the Starfinder campaign once the current MOTW campaign (that i’m not in) has finished.  We did a Session Zero-slash-Christmas Episode yesterday so I could test the waters, and here’s what occurred from my character’s perspective:

Samantha,

I’m addressing this to you because I know you will be the one hounding me the most for the full story once I manage to return, or at least establish contact with Taryn.  In the case that I discover how to actually send these letters to you but not how to get myself back across the inter-universe void, I’m giving you permission to publish what I write, just so the world doesn’t think me dead.  Again.

This world I’ve been shunted to is remarkably similar to Taryn, both geographically and culturally. It might just be that mysterious translation convention at work, but everyone I’ve met seems to speak Anglish.  The strangest thing, though, is that while magic exists in this universe, it’s just slightly out of sync with what I’m familiar working with, just enough that while I can cast spells as I normally would, there’s a good chance of them backfiring if I rely on my muscle memory too much.  Most of my Cards got burnt out upon arrival, somehow, leaving me only with the old, reliable Tangler prepped for combat casting.

When the portal spat me out and my senses recovered from the absolute deprivation of the void, I found myself outside a small town called Buxford, Louisiana.  That would be approximately the Novo Orleano area back home, judging by the maps.  It’s a small town, so walking around everywhere isn’t too grievous.  When I arrived in the town proper, I naturally got to work gathering information.  Buxford has its share of local legends and cryptoids, but almost none of the locals seems to take such things too seriously.  Magic – proper magic – is not widely recognized as real either, which is going to present a hindrance to my efforts to research a portal spell that I can cast in this environment.

I’m hesitant to try my luck in other parts of the world yet, though.  I essentially need to start over, find a reliable source of income and build up a reputation for strangeness and problem-solving to try and attract the attention of those who do possess magic ability.  I could so that anywhere, I’ll admit, but I sense something… special hiding in Buxcord that may be worth unearthing before I try moving on.

During my initial search around the town, I decided to take a chance that a small “Magic shop” I came across in downtown would have something up my alley and not just prestidigitation.  The place was… eclectic to put it mildly, as if the owner had just stocked whatever they could find that is even remotely connected to the concept of “magic.”  I considered just leaving after a quick look around, until I caught the eye of the owner.  He calls himself Nollthep the Unpredictable, and despite his claims to contrary he is definitely not as human as he appear.  Whatever he truly is, he lacks knowledge of a lot of basic concepts, is easily distracted by unfamiliar words, and his manner of speech is stilted and uncanny in the extreme, but he’s quite friendly and not the least bit shy about wanting to learn everything he can.  The one thing’s he cagey about is his true nature, but I’m willing to humor him about his cover story both because of his friendliness and because he’s the first hint of the supernatural I’ve found and I’m hoping that associating with him will eventually get me in contact with something more helpful.

I seems that I arrived in Buxcord about a week before the year-end holiday of Christmas, which I’ve gathered is essentially the Yule tradition you’re familiar with, but observed on a single day instead of across three.  Two days before Christmas, I was browsing through the local library in a vain search for books on real magic, when I overhead talk of a strange, large figure being seen in the forest just off the nearest highway.  It wasn’t much to go on, but at this early stage I’ll take any possible leads I can get, so I set out to walk along the highway.  As I passed the local orphanage, I spotted Nollthep at the gates, apparently trying to find somebody but mostly just confusing the poor person on the other end of the intercom with his blunt and meandering questions.  The worker hung up before I could make my way over to try and help Nollthep, so I just came out ans asked why he was bothering the orphanage.  He just said he was looking for someone, and also needed to pick up some milk (which would be tricky, as the stores in town were all closing early for the season).  Before I could press for details, as young woman came out of the orphanage carrying a baseball bat, and Nollthep greeted her like an old friend.  She had come out for the same reason I had – to figure out what Nollthep’s business was, and after we all exchanged notes we realized we were all curious about the large thing moving around.  Some of the orphans believed it to be Santa Claus, the gift-giving figure of Christmas, but Leanne (the baseball bat girl, as you probably guessed) and I both found that unlikely.  Nollthep, in his simple way, was immediately convinced that Santa Claus was real once we’d explained it to him.

Our quarry wasn’t hard to find.  Not far into the woods, we came across a clear set of large clawed footprints.  I recognized them as belonging to something similar to the Tibetan Yetis or the mythic Sasquatch, strange as that may seem seeing as neither are native to wetland regions like Buxcord.  We followed the tracks and quickly came upon a strange sight.

I’m sure you’ve at least seen pictures of Yetis, Sam, if not met one. Imagine one of those, but with its fur patterned to resemble a red winter riding suit with white trim.  At its feet lay a man with a wounded leg and a dropped shotgun.  Nollthep and I quickly leaped into action, while Lea hung back, gripping her bat tightly.  Nollthep reached deep into a small bag as he ran at the yeti and drew out a bust that he proceeded to use as a club.  I tried to tie the Yeti up in a Tangler, but the spell misfired and caught the wounded man instead.  Cursing my haste, I ran up to drag the man back while Nollthep continued to gleefully exchange blows with the Yeti.

Lea called my attention to something moving among the trees, and once I got the man a safe distance from the fight, I took a closer look. While the Santa-patterned Yeti was weird, the three creatures watching us from the trees were downright creepy.  At first glance, they looked like deer, but as looked longer it was obviously that they were not deer, and probably never had been.  They had the right general shape and antlers, but their bodies were covered in chitin like an insect, including sheathes for bug-like wings.  The three not-deer crept closer, and the nose of the lead one started to glow as they began making noises like cicadas from hell.  I managed to weave up a lightning spell that went where I wanted, zapping the lead not-deer in the nose.  The creatures fled, followed by the Yeti once it broke away from Tollthep.

I’m not good at healing magic even under the best circumstances, as you know, but the man’s leg was bleeding so much that I had to at least.  The process was painful for him, but I succeeded in closing the wound without leaving much of a scar.  He introduced himself as Professor Thomas and said he had been trying to capture or destroy the creatures after they’d escaped from the lab he worked in.  He said his colleague, Case, had created the things as part of some harebrained scheme to make his daughter’s Christmas more magical. Nollthep became very interested at hearing the name Case and quickly agreed that we should accompany Thomas back to the lab to get more information.

When we arrived, we found found Professor Case in the middle of briefing a local private eye named Jim Burn.  Case wanted Jim to try and capture the Yeti and not-deer alive.  Jim seemed to share my group’s opinion that Case was a pure idiot for making the creatures in the first place, but he accepted the job and had no objections to us going along with him.  Before we left, we interrogated Case why he’d made the things (as opposed to, say, hiring a professional Santa actor) and how he expected to keep them under control.  Apparnetly, he’d based the designs on a crayon drawing his daughter had made, explaining why there were only three not-deer instead of the traditional eight from the Santa Claus myths (not that I’m complaining about that) and possibly why the “Santa” was a skvetchte Yeti.  As to controlling the things, he claimed they wouldn’t hurt children – and I had to shut down Nollthep’s suggestion of using kids as a living shield – and that Case’s own voice was the only thing that would control them.  Naturally, I insisted on Case accompanying us if that was the… the case.  The professor resisted, saying he’d hired Jim so that he wouldn’t have to put himself at risk, until Lea somehow managed to put him into a kind of trance with just a few words and a smile.  I’m not sure she was even aware she’d done anything special, but I resolved to keep on her in the future for the same reasons as Nollthep.

Professor Thomas, insisting the creatures needed to be eliminated, revealed that they shared a simple yet rather unusual weakness: contact with mistletoe would kill and dissolve them almost instantly.

With our plan set, everyone piled into a Jeep and drove out into the woods to seek the Santa-squatch.  We found it and the not-deer with about as much ease as earlier, and Lea gave the enthralled Case a push toward them.  Case tried to sing at the Yeti, but his voice failed him and the beast swatted him into a tree.  With Plan A a predictable failure, we launched right into Plan B: Nollthep engaged the Yeti in hand-to-hand again while I tried to apply mistletoe to the not-deer. My initial efforts to move the plant around with magic resulted in accidentally zapping Lea with lightning – not a deadly amount, mind you, but enough to knock her down – so I decided that it mgith actually be less risky to just get hands-on about it.  After getting the Yeti in a successful Tangler to give Nollthep a bit of help, I ran up and slapped the mistletoe on the nearest not-deer.  The results were as Thomas had indicated, and not very pretty.  One of the deer went after Lea, and Jim Burn put a bullet through its head. Lea went after the last not-deer, and must have unconsciously tapped into her magic again because the thing fell apart the moment she got a good grip on its hindquarters.  Nollthep knocked the Yeti out, and Thomas applied some mistletoe to finish it off.

Case was summarily fired from the lab, and Nollthep graciously offered to take charge of him, all without the man regaining consciousness to give his consent.  Thomas drove us all back to our respective residences (I’m currently staying at a hotel). Thomas thanked me personally for my help and offered me a place to stay if I needed it.  I didn’t accept right away, but I’ll certainly keep him in mind.

‘Twas an odd night before Christmas, but I think I’ve found myself some folks I can depend on and avenues of investigation to explore on my quest to get back home.

With luck, I’ll be handing this letter and those to follow to you in person, but if not, then don’t you or the others worry too much about me.

-Ash

[july-19th-club]

Century 12

aka, My Very New Very Unfinished Immortal People Short Story, bc some of you asked for it and let’s be honest, I wanted to share it anyway

read ON

One of us has died.

          The strangest part about it is that the dead woman—she was a woman, from Argentina, short and stout and always wore her hair in a thick bun and sold handknit products online—was one of our youngest. Only on Century 3, she’d been doing well. That we knew of. She kept in touch, had been saying on the forum that she was going to bring treats to the meet, something homemade. And then three weeks before, when most of us were planning or packing or already en route, we all got notices on our group messages—she was dead.

         Suicide, of course. It’s all my seat partner on the plane talks about on our way over. He’s a long-legged guy from New York—long enough for it to give him an accent, anyway. He’s businesslike and well-dressed, but looks cramped and crumpled in the airplane seating. He’s doing good right now, he says. He’s in a stable relationship; they just adopted a new cat. He shows me pictures—a young, impossibly handsome blue-eyed man proudly holding up a disgruntled orange tabby. 

          “Found him in an alley. His name’s Mewcutio,” says my seat partner—and then he cracks a grin. “The cat, not my boyfriend,” he amends.

          “It’s so good right now,” he adds, looking at me earnestly. But I don’t know whether he’s trying to convince himself or what. Relationships—I gave up on those a long time ago. And this guy looks like maybe he did too, for a while. His face, when he talks about his blue-eyed boy, is a mixture of adoration and mourning.

          It’s not hard to guess why.

At the meet, we don’t sit down and break out a session immediately. That’s what local groups and semilocals are for. The coping, the therapy. This is a celebration for us—the precious few, to gather every ten years and remind each other that we’re still here, that we can and will and must by nature endure. For some of us it’s the thing that saves us. For others, it’s a reminder of how unsavable we really are.

          Upon arrival, we split up in the entrance to the hotel—we’ve booked over half of it for the occasion, as we do every ten years in a different venue in a different country—and we look for old friends. My seat partner and I walk in opposite directions, and in my head I wish him a good fifty-sixty-seventy with his blue-eyes. It’s the best they’re gonna get. I watch him jog down the steps and I take the elevator upstairs. Julie and Kim Mbege are already in the room they’re sharing. They’re sisters, which is rare. It’s not like anyone picks this—it just…happens. Family members who both get it are as rare as…well, as rare as the Argentinian doing what she did. As awful as it is, who we are, what we have to look forward to—it’s rare that we let go of it.

          Except…as the Mbege sisters and I sit on the made-up beds and chat and drink ice water from the minifridge, we can all taste it. The atmosphere has changed this meet. What normally feels like a giant, strange, supportive family reunion has taken on the tone of a tense political summit. Whispers are everywhere. Julie and Kim tell me that on their flight over—from Johannesburg; I can’t imagine the layovers—they were joined by the groups from Lesotho and Botswana. It’s all anyone talked about there, too. When we head downstairs we’re interrupted by Brazil and Chile, which is uncomfortable mostly because the Argentinian was apparently the only one of us from her country. That meant that these people were her semilocals; they actually knew her. In the crush of gossip and discussion, they’re subdued. They don’t know how she did it, they say, and they don’t want to know. It must have taken an enormous effort. They don’t think she left a note of explanation, or if something in particular in her recent life drove her to it.

          I tell them about my new pal from the flight over. “He’s dating,” I say. I suddenly feel worried for a near stranger. “But his partner, he’s not one of us. He says he’s so happy. Do you think that’s what happened to the Argentinian? She got too happy?”

          Getting too happy is a real concern for us. It leads to all sorts of shitty things, like engaging in relationships that are headed for the cliff edge. I haven’t dated seriously since…has to be…who was on the throne then? George II? I want to say it was. I was in Scotland, then. After that time I swore off closeness to people who weren’t us, very deliberately. We discussed it in my local group. And I realized that the only way to survive—the only way to not pull an Argentinian—was to swear off things that brought me to that place of sharp darkness, the pit you can’t claw out of. I spent a long time in that place. I know how bad it is to be there and have no discernible way out. I know how to avoid it, how it’s the worst feeling in the world, as easy to enter and hard to leave as quicksand, which I was once ensnared in and which is the only natural, physical thing that has ever really made me scared for my life.

          So now I avoid it, and I spend most of my time with others of us or with people who won’t worry if I don’t stick around. I’ve gotten close a few times to missing them after I’ve gone—but that’s how it works. It’ll always be like that. And I’m lucky in that I have a fairly big local and semilocal, and that I have friends out elsewhere in the world. We keep each other together. We call each other at four in the morning when we’re having a bad one, and somehow, we make it work. Even if we’re missing something all the time—faith, like Julie’s friend Clark—love, like…well, me—a sense of reality, like my new buddy on the plane—we find ways to fill that gap, for long enough that we can survive it.

          That’s what it’s really about.

Julie and Kim and I take on the bar downstairs dressed up, and we mingle with the non-meet guests at the hotel. They look breakable to me, always have. There’s a—speed—to them. Like hummingbirds or the clear, slender bugs you can find skating on the surface of a pond. Across the room, there’s a lot of whooping and hollering and synthesizer, someone’s trying to start a party—Kim points, and we all stop and stare, right in the middle of a tourist gang also staring. 

         “I think it’s The Stuntman,” Kim says.

          I’ve never met The Stuntman in person, but I know him by sight. He’s somewhat famous, not just among us but in the rest of the world too. He’s not much to look at—a tall, scrawny Irish teenager with wild hair and a frail figure—but when you get a close-up, you see big mournful eyes and delicate facial structure, boyish and brittle, like an early Bob Dylan. He’s really quite attractive then, mostly because he looks so mortal.

          That couldn’t be further from the truth. The Stuntman is one of our newest, and everybody knows who he is by reputation. His personality is said to be infections—filled with manic, hyperactive energy. He’s vulgar, unflappable, loud, YOUTHFUL, arrogant. It’s understandable. The first ten or twenty years are always like that. You’re drunk on the future because you don’t yet fully grasp exactly how heavy that future will settle on your bones. But The Stuntman has another gift that contributes to his particular reckless abandon—not only can he not age, he cannot die period. It’s a rarity so extreme that some people refuse to believe it’s actually possible. Some people even say that Jesus himself had that ability—regenerative immortality. Of course, since nobody’s seen Him for two thousand years and only a handful of us are old enough to have lived parallel to Him, it’s likely that the Jesus thing is faker than The Stuntman.

          The Stuntman is nothing if not visible. He blared onto the sensation-TV scene eight and a half years ago, hailing from a tiny factory town and quickly rising in international notice. Now he’s got this show, Live to Die, in which he tests rumored ‘killer acts’ and then, if it turns out they’re actually fatal, resurrecting himself over and over and over and over again. He doesn’t seem to care if most of his viewers think it’s an elaborate magician’s act. He knows that some of us see everything he does.

          The rumors are that he’ll probably stage something this week. It’s his first international meet, and he won’t be able to resist the attention. And before the Argentinian, we were looking forward to it, everyone talking about how he’d try to top his biggest tricks.

          But this is after the Argentinian. And watching him downing inhuman amounts of booze, the alcohol poisoning negligible when you know for a fact that you’ll wake up eventually, I think that he’s dancing a fine line between performance and something far more dangerous.

          The girls and I make our way through the buffet-style dinner spread, and bring canapes and drinks out to the poolside. I set a little plate of lemon-scented mussels and a glass of champagne in the special holders on my deck chair, and we stick our legs out long and coconut-oily to bask in the evening. Julie tosses us pairs of neon-rimmed sunglasses, and we lounge. The pool gradually empties while guests go back inside for food, then fills up again as they come outside for drunken games of chicken in the water. The smell of chlorine rises up past the bubbly and anchors me down, its sharpness clearing my head.

          There’s another commotion around 8:30, as the sun starts to sink past the bluffs beyond the resort. “He’s here,” somebody says, and Kim waves across the pool to the speaker.

          “Who?”

          “HIM.”

          “Oh,” says Kim, raising her sunglasses onto her forehead, and flips a few stray twists of hair back over her shoulder.

          I don’t need to know what they mean by HIM. Rembrandt – sorry, Mounet – sorry, Reeves – is the rarest of birds. Despite being Century 7-plus, he actively relishes his eternity, not in the brash, destructive way the Stuntman does, but in the way that you’d think we all would. He puts himself in the spotlight – as an artist, usually – never enough to be overwhelmed with celebrity, but enough to be memorable. There are even rumors out there: he’s a vampire, he’s immortal, he’s a time traveler. They’re idle rumors, the kind of thing people create conspiracy photosets of when they’re bored on the internet – but they’re rumors anyway. It’s not about vanity, I think, for him: just proof. I exist in a way that I should not. I have been and am still here.

          The downside, I’d imagine, is that to be visibly immortal, one must be constantly reinventing oneself – not just moving to new locations with slightly new papers, but changing identities entirely, complete with fake deaths and paper trails that aren’t just ruined, but burnt away completely. That’s got to be harder now than ever before, and soon enough, the man will have to come up with a public ending for himself. A plane crash, maybe, or a mysterious accident. In the Victorian times, if one of us got too heard-of and had to disappear, then illnesses used to be popular. Tuberculosis. Cholera. The ever-ubiquitous Brain Fever.

          In the meantime, he’s the closest thing we’ve got to a unanimous leader. Generous, tall, striking, adjacent to universally handsome, friendly to all – the kind of person you’d put your trust into in a crisis, believing that they could, if not fix the situation themselves, at least make you feel better about it until the proper authorities saved the day. As he enters the deck, long-haired, neatly bearded, holding a wine glass, we all turn, consciously and subconsciously. The atmosphere quiets down a little, the desperate fun-having slowing its pace. Tension dissipates. It’s all right, the new mood says, to mourn or be afraid. You don’t have to put on a brave face. The One Who Is Comfortable Enough For All Of Us is here.

Author’s Notes: ayyyyyyy hope you liked it don’t be dicks and repost this shit it’s original content right here 

[rawrblaah]

About Me (Part 2)

51: How often do I wear a fake smile? At least twice a day 52: When was the last time I hugged someone? This afternoon 53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? I would be furious! I would probably punch the bitch and wouldn't stop until she was almost dead 54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? Not anymore. 55: What is something I disliked about today? I didn't get done anything I wanted to before going out this evening. 56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? Definitely Billie Joe Armstrong. Or Maria Brink. 57: What do I think about most? How much better things could be if I were more successful 58: What’s my strangest talent? I can wiggle my ears and nose? 59: Do I have any strange phobias? I'm afraid of medical needles 60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? Depends on the day 61: What was the last lie I told? Uhhh I'm not sure I remember. 62: Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online? I guess it really depends. 63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? Yes and yes 64: Do I believe in magic? Yes absolutely 65: Do I believe in luck? Yes. Everybody has a lucky streak 66: What’s the weather like right now? Umm I'm not outside so I don't know 67: What was the last book I’ve read? One with you by Sylvia Day 68: Do I like the smell of gasoline? It doesn't smell too bad 69: Do I have any nicknames? Sam, Sammi, Samskis, Sam I Am 70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? Probably when I hurt my ankle going down the stairs 71: Do I spend money or save it? Guilty of both 72: Can I touch my nose with a tounge? Nope. Yes I did just try 73: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me? Yes. My socks and hair 74: Favourite animal? Penguins and sloths 75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? Sleeping 76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is? Raisin idfk sounds good though 77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? Minority by Green Day 78: How can you win my heart? Have a sense of humor and good looks. 79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? Loved but never forgotten 80: What is my favorite word? Rawr 81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr I don't really know. I don't follow them too closely. Probably all the Subie pages 82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? Stop abusing animals!!! They don't deserve it. They are just innocent souls who never mean any harm unless threatened. We are their voice. 83: Do I have any relatives in jail? Not that I know of. 84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? Either teleportation or the ability to go back or forward in time 85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? Umm something very personal. 86: What is my current desktop picture? At work it's of flowers 87: Had sex? Absolutely! 88: Bought condoms? Yeah 89: Gotten pregnant? No 90: Failed a class? Nope 91: Kissed a boy? I'm married to one 92: Kissed a girl? Maybe once or twice 93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? Yeah 94: Had job? Ummm duhhh 95: Left the house without my wallet? Yeah 96: Bullied someone on the internet? No. Not that I know of. 97: Had sex in public? Heh… 😏 98: Played on a sports team? Nope 99: Smoked weed? Many times. 100: Did drugs? Just weed

[differentdove]

all the questionsss :D

Top of tha mornin to ya, anon! I guess you DO wanna know something! Is it you that wants to know everything? If not, thats a pretty popular view, hahaha! But i like your hutzpah, kid! 1:   Full name : Madison Grace 

2:   Age : I am nineteen 

3:   3 Fears : I mean, I dont really have but one fear, but I suppose silence, darkness, and opening up to people, but those are just due to inner issues and are things easily fixed that i deal with on a daily basis. 

4:   3 things I love : I love Paul and dinosaours and my family! 

5:   3 turns on : Passion, no fear of social standards, hilarity! 

6:   3 turns off : Common camo, no consideration of others, my ex bf!

7:   My best friend: all of my friends now??

8:   Sexual orientation: ?????????

9:   My best first date: That is by far this last one i went on! It was incredible, i will never forget it! 

10:   How tall am I: Smol standing at 5′6′’

11:   What do I miss: I miss traveling. I cant do it so much anymore as of this exact moment, but i do what i can

12:   What time were I born: I was born exactly on the dot at 8:45 in the morning! 

13:   Favourite color: ALL THE COLOURS! 

14:   Do I have a crush: Nope! 

15:   Favourite quote: I dont really have one, but ill just put the last one that i shared. I came across it by accident and it is actually a lyric, but it says: “We make each other better, we may not be perfect, but we are perfect together” and its such a sweet, aweome song and it made me too emotional than i am confortable with.

16:   Favourite place: I do not have one, actually! 

17:   Favourite food: How could you ever pick just one? There is so many delectable things out there! 

18:   Do I use sarcasm: Wha-whaaaattt! Pshhhh, haha, do i, do I use sarcasm?!?!? Hahahaha, noooooooooooooooo. 

19:   What am I listening to right now: I just have The Office playing in the background, ive gotta shower here soon, but I am tryna crunch out these questions first! 

20:   First thing I notice in new person: Existence? 

21:   Shoe size: That is a tricky question, but the shoes i am wearing today are a 9.5H

22:   Eye color: As of rn, they are lightish brown! 

23:   Hair color: Browwwnn

24:   Favourite style of clothing: I mean, i dont have an answer for this, but eccentric? 

25:   Ever done a prank call?: I mean, do middle school girls do dumb things at sleep overs?…yes. 

27:   Meaning behind my URL: I have used this url for soooooo many years now, it is basically my signature username. I came up with this in,,,a round fourth grade time, and that was when i was really noticing my connection to mother nature and i was the weird kid and so ‘different’ stood out to me, (”different” being a good connotation and “strange” being the opposing) and ‘dove’ was a nice word, showing a bit of religion and peace and so i feel they fit together very nicely! It also turned out for Morning Dove to be my first larger role, and my ancients gave me this bag of random jewlery from all over and it had a beautiful handmade dove in it with beads.  

28:   Favourite movie: N/a

29:   Favourite song N/a

30:   Favourite band Really, how does one pick these things?

31:   How I feel right now: I,,,I feel, not necessarily happy, but, almost. Content?

32:   Someone I love: Rachel

33:   My current relationship status: Single and ready to fla-stay that way.

34:   My relationship with my parents: Nonexistent?

35:   Favourite holiday: I dont have one! I really kind of like all of them! Well, except for valentines day. Thats so stupid, im not even gonna get that soap box.

36:   Tattoos and piercing i have: Sadly, i just have my lobes pierced, but i want soooo many more piercings that are underway. I want too many tattoos, and i cant really get them, so im just gonna deal without. 

37:   Tattoos and piercing i want: Well, the next is my conch ear pierced. I have an ear map of ones that i want. 

38:   The reason I joined Tumblr: I mean, this is not my original tumblr, but it was actually my friend Tahlia who suggested it. I was making really cool art out of fruit at lunch and she wanted me to post it, and so she told me about it and i cant remember what that blog was, but i will remember eventually. But i joined off of her recommendation and here i am! 

39:   Do I and my last ex hate each other?: No, i mean,,, he hurt me beyond belief and its really something ive been trying to get the heck ut of my life, but no, i dont hate him. I know he despises me, but i feel what i feel and as much wrong as he did me, i do not hate him. 

40:   Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?: I meaannn, technically yes, but ive not gotten a “good morning” text in a good while. I tend to talk to people very late, and so we will say good bye n good night, but not really, no. 

41:   Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?: I have not. 

42:   When did I last hold hands?: Goodness, that is a time ago, huh. Thats not something ive thought about in a good while. I held a mannequin hand earlier, but a human, uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh?

43:   How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?: It depends, anywhere from and hour to five hours.

44:   Have You shaved your legs in the past three days?: HAHAHAHAHAHA

45:   Where am I right now?: I am sitting on my couch in the living room. My home. 

*the part where i shorten answers, sweet and simple. AKA i didnt realize how long this was and i want to get them all, but im on a time crunch*

46:   If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?: Then it would be whichever friend is there. We have good care for one another. Or the DD

47:   Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?: Suuuuuuuuuuper loud, man. 

48:   Do I live with my Mom and Dad?: Ugh. Unfortunately. 

49:   Am I excited for anything?: I am excited, yes. I get to give a gift tomorrow and get ready for KCACTF.

50:   Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?: Theres not really anyone, of any gender, that i have told everything to. 

51:   How often do I wear a fake smile?: too much. 

52:   When was the last time I hugged someone? I hugged this guy today…

53:   What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? I mean she IS married, soooo

54:   Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?: Huh? No?

55:   What is something I disliked about today? I should have gotten something different at the restaurant, i didnt know it would be huge.

56:   If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?: The frozen head of walt disney

57:   What do I think about most? Theatre? God? Honestly, my thoughts are nothing to mess with

58:   What’s my strangest talent?: I can,,,uhhh, I am great at champagne towers? 

59:   Do I have any strange phobias?: Nope. But my friend is afraid of two things. Whales and jello.

60:   Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?: Boooooth

61:   What was the last lie I told?: Im hanging out with Shelby and Ariel.

62:   Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online?: Both is pretty cool. Talking is easier for my situation (more available, etc.)

63:   Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? Yep. YEP.

64:   Do I believe in magic? Of course! 

65:   Do I believe in luck? Yes, but sometimes you have to make your own luck.

66:   What’s the weather like right now? It is actually starting to snow! :D

67:   What was the last book I’ve read? A Meisner book by friend lent me.

68:   Do I like the smell of gasoline? Overall-yes. but i hate pumping gas, and thats really the only time i smell it. 

69:   Do I have any nicknames? Not particularly, no.

70:   What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? Probably my heart, itm.

71:   Do I spend money or save it?: I am trying to balance. 

72:   Can I touch my nose with a tounge? Yes, i can, actually.

73:   Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me?: My ipad has pink in the case! 

74:   Favourite animal?: None. All of them.

75:   What was I doing last night at 12 AM?: Dude. Freaking out over Gravity Falls! 

76:   What do I think is Satan’s last name is?: Uhhhhhhh, what? (McBadguy)

77:   What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?: I mean, all of the musics. Ooh lala? By ginger minj.

78:   How can you win my heart?: I dont know you, it depends on you. But i feel my sparkling personality is a shooin. 

79:   What would I want to be written on my tombstone?: “Theyre not dead. Theyre never gonna die, but still chipped in for a cool tombstone, TAKE THAT DEBORA.”

80:   What is my favorite word?: I dont have one, but there is this thing where people say a word and it just sounds perfect with their voice. My freshman english teacher had one. And its just strange and itll stop me in my tracks. 

81:   My top 5 blogs on tumblr: Theres so many great ones! I highly reccomend lots of my mutuals, theyre all perfect hoomuns. 

82:   If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?: Made you look. 

83:   Do I have any relatives in jail?: Not that i know of.

84:   I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?: The power to have every power.

85:   What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on?: Really anything on my personal life. 

86:   What is my current desktop picture?: I dont have a desktop.

87:   Had sex?: Regerts. So many ragreeerrrts

88:   Bought condoms? Nope. 

89:   Gotten pregnant? Nope. 

90:   Failed a class? Yes. And it is not hindering me. 

91:   Kissed a boy?: yes i have

92:   Kissed a girl? Yep

93:   Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? No. 

94:   Had job? I have, i need another, though.

95:   Left the house without my wallet? Only all the time. 

96:   Bullied someone on the internet? Of course not. Thats never okay. 

97:   Had sex in public? I mean, technically, but no, not really. If ever. 

98:   Played on a sports team? Yeah, several actually. 

99:   Smoked weed? The devils lettuce. That gateway drug? THe wacKY TOBACKEE?!?! Yes. 

100:   Did drugs? Yep. 

101:   Smoked cigarettes? No, goodness no. And thats not gonna happen. ick

102:   Drank alcohol? Yep. 

103:   Am I a vegetarian/vegan? Never had this question before, i am vegan, yes! 

104:   Been overweight? Never not

105:   Been underweight? HAha, yeahright

106:   Been to a wedding? Yes! I love weddings! My last one ive been to was my dear friend Kelley. 

107:   Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?: Minimum. 

108:   Watched TV for 5 hours straight?  Childs play.

109:   Been outside my home country? Yes and i cannot wait to go back

110:   Gotten my heart broken? Hahahahaha only a lot. 

111:   Been to a professional sports game?: A few actually! I love it

112:   Broken a bone? No, knock on wood

113:   Cut myself? Yes. Dont do it. 

114:   Been to prom? Twice. Prom ruler yoyo

115:   Been in airplane? Yes! Its great, good memories. 

116:   Fly by helicopter? Gosh i wish. I had an opportunity to at school, but i didnt learn until after the fact, They didnt think id want to. WOULDNT WANT TO. PSSSHHH. HA. 

117:   What concerts have I been to? So many. THe last big one was P!ATD and FOB in Georgia

118:   Had a crush on someone of the same sex? Maybe?

119:   Learned another language? I am working on it, yeah. 

120:   Wore make up? I am actually wearing it at this very moment. 

121:   Lost my virginity before I was 18?: Ugh. Regeerrrtttsssssss

122:   Had oral sex? Nope. 

123:   Dyed my hair? Nah

124:   Voted in a presidential election? Sadly i have not. not yet. 

125:   Rode in an ambulance? No, actually. And i hope i never will. Unless its just a fun parade-type thing. Or a car chase.

126:   Had a surgery? Besides oral surgery, no.

127:   Met someone famous? A few, yeah. Shout out Fanboy

128:   Stalked someone on a social network? Mildly, yeah. 

129:   Peed outside? So. Hard. 

130:   Been fishing? Nah

131:   Helped with charity? Yeah, i love volunteering!

132:   Been rejected by a crush?: Yuuuppppppp. 

133:   Broken a mirror? ……maybe a little

134:   What do I want for birthday? Is surprise party a bad answer? Ive always wanted oneee

135:   How many kids do I want and what will be their names? Ahhhhhh, who knows. Not present Madison. Thats future Madisons problem. 

136:   Was I named after anyone?: No, but who knows. 

137:   Do I like my handwriting? Yes. Its changed so much and is all over the place, but its great.

138:   What was my favourite toy as a child?: Iiiiiii, i dont know. 

139:   Favourite Tv Show? N/a.

140:   Where do I want to live when older? Nowhere. I want to keep traveling and live in cast/crew housing and yes.

141:   Play any musical instrument? Clarinet, beginners piano, beginners cello, beginners bagpipes. 

142:   One of my scars, how did I get it? Ive not one on my right leg, four o’clock from my knee that i got from my kittens the last time i saw them…

143:   Favourite pizza toping? Vegan thingssssss (a rare commodity where i live)

144:   Am I afraid of the dark? Not teccchnically, but i cant be in it. 

145:   Am I afraid of heights? Nooooo, theyre wonderful! 

146:   Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? Nope. Its only illegal if you get caught. 

147:   Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? School is being a dumb dummyhead.

148:   What I’m really bad at. Everything, really?

149:   What my greatest achievments are. Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh…?

150:   The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me. Honestly, i have those stored atm and really couldnt tell you. 

151:   What I’d do if I won in a lottery. MADE SURE I CASKED THE TICKET ASAP. THOSE THIGNS HAVE A QUICK EXPIRATION DATE.

152:   What do I like about myself. Uhhhh,,,,,,, my minds not there atm. Come again. 

153:   My closest Tumblr friend. Teccchnicaly its @shelby ashley 3, but idk if thats cheating. 

154:   Something I fantasise about. Fantasise? Idk if you know me, but thats a vvv tricky subject. 

155:   Any question you’d like? Well, you didnt specify for this, so i suppose were finished! You might have noticed by now, but i am not able to answer every question in the ‘traditional’ way, but i hope you had fun reading these and you learned something new! I enjoyed answering them! I hope you have a wonderful day!