#i guess ill be like. making tags for each character and specific fics and if things r writing/fic updates or not. damn it.

[saved-by-spiral]

It's officially too late for me, I've made a BNHA blog.

Welcome! I'm Spiral. my main is @save-the-spiral (Yes, it's a Wizard101 and Pirate101 blog).

You may also know me from my Ao3, where I've posted some BNHA fanfictions. I'm a writer! Currently my fic, Fate In The Looking Glass, is 164K words long (though I've only written the first semester).

I love A Lot of BNHA characters, but especially the 1-B class!! I have read a lot of BNHA fanfiction on Ao3, but haven't interacted with the tumblr fandom besides looking at fanart. I don't plan on interacting with the fandom much aside from reblogging fanart and posting my own headcanons/thoughts in the tags, because I'm not caught up with the manga and don't want spoilers (as much as I can).

I'll probably post snippets, progress updates, and general thoughts on bnha stuff while writing.

[bee-devilling]

Oooh, that's so cool! Been a while since I listened to Ride the Cyclone. What's the fic about? And how much angst are we talking about? I am a sucker for angsty fics sometimes, whether or not I'm in the fandom.

The fic is set in an Everyone Lives AU (well, except Karnak and Virgil I guess. They're still very dead) but it goes into some detail as to how everyone is left after the accident. It ranges from temporary disabilities like broken bones, permanent disabilities like amputated limbs, and also not accident-related permanent disabilities, because when your body is under immense stress sometimes you discover shit you didn't realise you struggled with before.

But most of what I've written has been little bits and pieces after these events, some of which include:

All of the choir members learning ASL to communicate better with Ricky (unbeknownst to him, at least for the first while). Some members were fluent already (Specifically Constance. Noel would also sort of be in this category, but the second anyone tries to fingerspell something longer than 3 letters, he gives up.), some knew bits of it, like "please", "thank you", "yes" and "no", etc. and some were complete beginners. But they realised after the accident that Ricky has a lot to say, even if it wasn't verbally, and they wanted to bridge that gap. The first thing Ocean's signs to Ricky is a genuine, heartfelt apology for the way she's treated him.

Everyone is just A Little Off after the accident. Nothing big, no major health risks or nothing, and also I haven't quite decided what's happening to who. But one of them is just incredibly twitchy, and it's entirely uncontrollable. Another has levels of brain fog that is really starting to affect their studies. Another has heart palpitations, which took several incidents for them to realise they're not dying, this is just a thing that happens to them now. Not entirely the "came back wrong" trope, they're all basically the same people, but their bodies just didn't quite catch up to being reanimated.

Talia passing away. I feel a little horrible writing it, but I wanted to give her character a bit more respect than what most of the fandom gives her (which is just removing her in the quickest way possible to make room for Nischa) and I feel like letting Mischa grieve is a kinder way to remove her from the story. Also I haven't written the actual chapter in which this occurs yet, but I've written the 3 page letter (could be more, it's not 100% done) Talia sends Mischa to apologise for not telling him about her illness sooner.

Ocean dealing with hEDS after the accident (cos we love giving characters similar disabilities to me), because why not have her learn to stop spreading herself too thin by making a physical barrier in her way to stop her from pushing herself.

Mother-son bonding between Noel and his mom. Because yes, this is the woman who told her son to "dial it back" on his queerness but at the end of the day, it's 2009 in the middle of Bumfuck Nowhere, and I just feel that she wants her son to be safe above all else. Parents go about things the wrong way, but it doesn't make them inherently evil or abusive. Give her some understanding, some empathy.

Some of them just being a little queer. Or a lot queer. Noel fucking around with his gender expression, wearing dresses and makeup (though maybe not as risqué as the Monique Gibeau outfit), Ricky and Penny using each other to test out new pronouns, also I read a fic (I'll tag the writer if I can find it again) where Penny/Jane uses the name PJ and I wanna steal that idea so bad, I love it. Ocean cutting her hair short and wearing the "boys'" St. Cassian uniform (Butch Ocean is not a want, it's a need)

Anyway this is all I can remember right now, I'm sure there's more I could add. Thanks for the ask :D

[cosmictapestry]

five things you’ll find in my fics

i twas tagged by @mari-wrongway to attempt self-reflection and possibly die in the process

mental illness, specifically mental illness Associated With Trauma, specifically trauma Associated With Superpowers. i love this i think it is fascinating it is Fun for me and also it makes me very sad. i think the horror and the love and the compassion and the terror should all coalesce to make you go Ouch. i think the thing that makes you different/important/Special is more often than not a curse and that it’s fun to explore that. can i please get some cheers from the Insane girlies

kind of sharp, snappy language? i don’t like to slow down the narrative too much even with more verbose characters like lucienne. i get antsy about this actually if i’m reading through and Individual Words are fucking with the pace y’know. for erotica i try to let the prose get really disjointed like, it’s just base sensory input, the heat of the moment stealing all the finesse from the narration. i also use some pretty blunt, perhaps uncharacteristic language, but that’s because it’s what’s Sexy, okay.

i focus a lot on body language, especially stuff with hands and facial expressions and posture. when i write i’m, like, watching the scene in my head? and i guess that’s what i pay most attention to in conversations. if you notice me using the same fucking adjectives every two seconds no you don’t. i can get away with that in porn though there’s only so many sexy words. also i’m just…… not good at writing Things Happening and i don’t especially care to write Things Happening because Things Happen plenty in the source material i just want everybody to sit down and Talk about the Things That Have Happened. now that i say this though a whole bunch of shit happened in “i want to be well” huh? i am an unreliable narrator

dialogue is The Most Important Part to me. i THINK but i’m not CERTAIN that i have a bad habit of making characters talk like me? sometimes? in cadence and in word choice and in humor. i think. but also i’m just simply trying to make characters talk and act Like Real People and i am ostensibly a real person so. matthew’s dialogue in particular is so easy for me to write because i just decided to let him sound like me irl. based of me if i do say so myself. also i KNOW people get on me about making dream too open/nice/agreeable but i stand by literally everything i’ve ever had him say.

relationships that are very old and very deep and that are fundamental aspects of characters’ identities. i really don’t like... care, especially, about meet-cutes or whatever. i care about when two people are so Part Of Each Other that severing them is severing a major artery like <3 lol <3 and obviously this goes for familial relationships romantic relationships fraternal relationships i really don’t care as long as it’s Interesting. this is what was SO fucking funny to me about “i want to be well” because i do not care about klave. so it’s listed as a klave fic with like the least klave focus imaginable. anyway. i love love i love empathy i love Understanding and Accepting and i love when it can lead to healing and i also love when it can’t :)

@aboxthecolourofheartache @the-everqueen @pratchettfan87 @ anyone else i interact with who i can’t remember if you write or not i’m so sorry,,, you guys want to do this sooooooo bad

[m1ckeyb3rry]

Teamwork makes the dream work fr!! Always happy to throw out some ideas o7

LMAOO yeah idk I think there was a lot of missed potential with the galaxy dragons (also the required island habitat thing kinda pissed me off but wtv I guess)

Truly nothing is happening each chapter….speaking of it feels like it’s been forever since the last one?? Or maybe my perception of time is just awful LMAO but dude this is like my dream I used to cheer for fics that were above 1k hit the jackpot FR i can’t wait to unravel the layers!!!

It truly is just the fanon brainwashing echo chamber…it’s kinda crazy how often this happens in like every fandom but I guess not completely unexpected…

WILL DEFINITELY RETURN FOR COMMENTARY idk how im gonna do this ill probably binge it all and leave like a mega commentary ask LMAOO or maybe ill split it up by section?? Im inclined to do just one big one but at the same time I don’t wanna like forget my thoughts as I read or maybe I’ll actually follow through annotation live reaction style LMAOA (also autocorrect is NOT my bestie it’s so inconsistent in capitalizing and fixing my punctuation so if anything looks goofy in my writing that’s also why like I’ll leave these here as an example by why are half my “I’ll”s properly punctuated and half not???)

YOURE SO RIGHT Karasu #1 truly…he’s THE MAN

FR like now im like wait so which is it like is he secretly a bully or…/j hoping the light novel gives more insight…but YEAH I think if he had like a fwtkac y/n he’d probably just brush off her insults and banter respond maturely I can’t really see him participating in that sort of banter…I feel like yuki’s probably one of the ones I’d say friends to lovers fits well with..? Or some type of strangers to lovers but specifically in like a form of pining from a distance maybe (since he likes ethereal things idk, also I never understood what that meant in terms of his “fetish”??? First of all kinda random fact to throw in but also how….? I can’t tell if I’m being crazy or not but)

LMAOO i remember watching it a long time ago and it was definitely entertaining HAHAH but TAKE A HINT IS SOOOO ICONIC!! I love it sm have the lyrics literally memorized and it’s so perfect for karaoke too LOL but YESS ADDED TO THE LIST o7 honestly im just excited for whatever you throw out next it could honestly even be a fic for shidou and id read it too there’s just no misses on account >>> ok but seriously now im super hyped for the best friends brother idea too so much potential!!! And honestly we probably read the same fics with otoyas younger sister (since the tag is so barren </3) I’ve also definitely seen a fair share of Reo’s younger sister dating nagi!! We love mold deviations >>> but I’ll admit some of the chatacter’s sister works I’ve read were pretty entertaining when done well!

I somehow read that wrong at first and thought it said that YOU shyed away from female characters and I was like….are you sure about that?? LMAOAO but FR I’ve definitely noticed that too….especially in other fandoms the only time I’ve seen another female character is usually when she’s acting like a plot device villain to create some drama or something and I’m like oh…. THE CENSORING LMAOO I’m gonna admit the plot device villain women side characters was definitely most prevalent on said website LMFAO I think specifically in using them as a tool for like jealousy or cheating or wtv I remember reading some and I was like oh. Ok then. Closed the tab and didn’t look back because sometimes it doesn’t make sense either like you can tell they’re really just there to be used in your typical jealousy trope

Also the gymnastics my brain did for no reason reading brothers best friend and best friends brother LMAOAO I got it now though so all good

I definitely think that it makes sense who has siblings and who doesn’t! Like it fs fits their characters but I remember flipping through the Bible and being like “man I wish there were more content in yours/aka family crumbs” LMAO ok Kunigami is definitely a rare breed of middle child…like the ideal middle child LMAO his sister raised him right (before wild card eek) to this day I still don’t know what I imagined otoya to be it is NOT middle child though…I guess the closest would be youngest sibling maybe?? I was kinda surprised he was sandwiched between two sisters though (especially since he’s a cheater but we’ve already had this convo HAHA) LMFAOO PARTICULAR BRAND OF SHITHEAD that’s so real I think I also partially felt that just because he was on the older side of BLLK? But I can definitely say he’s the younger bro who probably gets bossed around lightly by his older sister but has enough respect for her to let her do so and just goes with what she asks(I can imagine her sending him on like errands or asking for favors like pick up some tea on the way home or pick up this lipgloss for me) LMAO

I’m laughing so hard yeah if I spawned shidou into the world I would be done after one too LMFOAOA

Ok off to read pomegranate ink!! Get ready for a lot of commentary LOL

-Karasu anon

in general i feel like dragonvale had a lot of missed potential…i wish there was a way you could interact with the dragons?? like pet them or smth idk LMAOO ik it’s supposed to simulate a zoo so realistically you wouldn’t be petting them but they’re so cuteee like let me cuddle w them!!

i think the leaks have been dropping earlier and earlier so it seems like a lot of time has passed since the last chapter maybe?? the last one i can remember is 269 i believe where rin starts going a bit crazy 😭 but i forget when that came out

yeahh i think it’s just to be expected from fandoms atp!! once one person characterizes a character in a certain way everyone tends to follow that (especially if that fic gets popular) at the end of the day it is what it is 😩

HAHA dwww autocorrect is so unreliable i get it!! and either way i look forward to hearing your thoughts 🫡 even if it’s literally just “cool story 👍” LMAOAAO

i feel like fetish must be some weird kind of lost in translation thing?? like maybe it means preference or smth that they find attractive but not necessarily in a strictly sexual way (because if it is sexual then what is going on w yuki…how are you turned on by ephemeral things?? like he gives cherry blossoms as an example which doesn’t even makes sense 😭 does he bust every time he goes out during the spring)

PLEASEEEE OMG NOT SHIDOU i feel like now i have to write him just to see if i can do it in a way that’s appealing LMAOAO that would truly be the greatest challenge ever…haha i agree idm character’s younger sister when it’s done well!! i’ve been in some fandoms though where especially for long fics people will just make their “character’s younger sister” characters exact copies of the older sibling because they can’t come up w something of their own (jjk is notorious for this…the amt of gojo’s younger sister characters that exist in this world is crazy)

i NEVER shy away from a good female side character 😤 i think it’s come to the point where so many people just use female characters as obstacles to the main relationship that readers automatically expect it and jump to hating on female characters just for existing in a story or even daring to BREATHE near the male lead even if they’ve shown no interest in him. i have one story where i have a character who’s kind of the reader’s adopted sister?? and at one point she’s sick so the main love interest helps her back to her room…the death threats that poor character received for that are INSANE!! the whole point of the scene was to show how the main love interest is a generally caring guy too and she at that point already has an established love interest of her own so the hate was truly unwarranted but people were just unable to see beyond the love interest daring to interact w a girl 😒

otoya gives me only child vibes or like i can see him having a younger brother!! def not being stuck between two sisters given his interesting dating habits…LMAOO kunigami was raised well though 👆🏻 needs to be studied wtf ego did to him in wildcard because how did his entire personality change like that?? was my man in there getting tortured or smth tf 😭 and yess i do think karasu being one of the older ones in bllk and teasing isagi/rin/shidou (who’s technically older than him but wtvr) for being immature made it seem as though he would be an older sibling but agreed i can see him being the younger sibling who has to go get a glass of water for his older sister every time she asks and whatnot

see this is why i need to know what shidou’s parents are like…like are they like him?? or is he completely an anomaly amongst his family?? LMAO truly top ten greatest mysteries of bllk

I AM READY FOR THE COMMENTARY 🫡

[mikkeneko]

Got tagged by @veliseraptor for a writing meme!

How many works do you have on AO3? What’s your total AO3 word count?

193 works over 10 fandoms;  2,591,823 words.

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

I would count 10 real ones. Dragon Age; Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicle; Critical Role; Marvel Cinematic Universe; The Untamed; The Witcher; Cardcaptor Sakura; Fullmetal Alchemist; Gundam Wing; Weiss Kreuz. Some of these pre-date the existence of AO3, and some of them are better off that way.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

A Villain State of Mind; Cover Up the Sun; Laughing As I Pray; I do solemnly swear; The Morning After.  All Loki fandom fics. Not too surprising as that was the most mainstream fandom I wrote for, and they’ve been around for a while now, lots of time to accumulate stats.

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I do! I have a somewhat complex set of criteria for when I respond and how. 

I will respond to all  comments left on works in my current/active fandom except  for: comments consisting entirely of emojis (mainly because I have no idea what to say to that) comments consisting of single words (same) or comments that seem to be about something other than my fic entirely or focus entirely on negativity (i.e., the commentor is using this box as a space to rant about how much they hate a character, the show, or another author/trope.)

I will usually but not always respond to comments on my next-to-last fandom. On older fandoms I will respond only  to especially long or thoughtful comments, or ones that specifically ask a question that I can answer.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

That would have to be Rise From Ash,  the Loki timeloop fic I wrote in MCU. Since it was intended to lead into Avengers, it naturally had a downer ending since we know how Avengers went for Loki; but the story also ended with him having a major mental health break and resolving to kill himself in order to end the timeloop, so, uh, that was pretty unhappy.

Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I think that the Never Gonna Tell A Lie series has to qualify for this one by default; two fics of the “characters from wildly different series meet in a bar” format, spanning seven different franchises.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Occasionally. I can’t answer in a lot of detail because I make a conscious policy of thinking about these comments as little as possible, so I tend to forget the details. Off the top of my head I know I received a few comments on my MCU fics of people complaining that the fic was nothing more than a Thor-bashing exercise (it wasn’t intended as such, but you can’t control how the audience will receive, I guess.) And then there was the whole infamous “ableist torture porn of a mentally ill man” episode.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I can recall. It may have happened that I just don’t know about.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Have you ever had a fic translated?

A fair amount! Sometimes people will leave a comment asking permission to translate. I have always granted it. Sometimes they go through with the translation and sometimes not.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes! In Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle I co-wrote a couple fics with @faux-fires which were a lot of fun. (Which... doesn’t seem to be on AO3, huh. But Not Quite Paradise  is still on ff.net.)  And more recently @cerusee and I have been trading scenes back and forth for each other’s stories.

What’s your all time favorite ship?

I don’t know if I have just one. Maybe Kurogane/Fai. They really manage to straddle all my favorite ship dynamics.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Both of my WIPs in Critical Role fandom, Molly’s Moving Castle and Fjord Mustang’s YEEHAW! Fun and Pony Ranch,  are at this point probably never going to be finished. Partly because of Characterization Marches On; the characters that I thought they were when I started writing were not the characters they ended up being in canon. But mostly just because I’m no longer really in the fandom. 

Wonder if it’s worth closing out the WIPs on AO3 with final chapters describing how the fic would have ended?

What are your writing strengths?

I can do humor, I can do horror, I can do heartbreak. I can write a complex outline and stick to it, I have a fair amount of discipline and perseverance. People occasionally compliment my character voice, so I’d say that’s decent. I can spin up a plot for just about any situation. I love  adapting canon to AU. My dialogue is pretty punchy and my action sequences are adequate.

What are your writing weaknesses?

I’m really bad at writing OCs, as I admit to every darn time this comes up. I’ve also recently realized that I have a strong tendency to avoid writing about characters I don’t like, on several fronts.

The first way that manifests is that if there’s a main/good guy character who the fandom likes and I dislike, I will avoid writing about them whenever possible. I don’t do character bashing. (Which means that if I am  writing about a protagonist character, even if they’re being a jerk and the narrative is whacking them for it, that doesn’t mean I hate the character. It just means that the story requires that they get a good whacking, Thor.)

But the second way this manifests is that I will often just... avoid writing about the bad guys, if they’re unpleasant and I dislike them. Which in shorter things is fine! We’re here to read about the characters we like.  But in longer or more plotful things, that means that all of the villain’s bad things happen off screen  if they happen at all, so the audience doesn’t get a chance to really build up anger against them, so their eventual downfall is less satisfying.

I’m also weaker at writing romance than I would like, I’d say. If it’s a story that has a plot, the romance will frequently get shoved in around the corners or at the last minute. If it’s a story that’s supposed to be about romance, the characters will usually sidetrack into having philosophical discussions about moral relativity when they’re supposed to be flirting.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I’m not sure I understand the question. I don’t think this has ever come up in my fic. I do not speak any other languages fluently enough to have ever tried to write any part of my fics, dialogue or otherwise, in a language other than english. Is this asking my thoughts on other  people doing that? Sure, why not?

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

That would have been Gundam Wing! Gosh, it’s been so long that I barely remember what  that first fic was. But the biggest thing I wrote for that fandom was a ghost story on a space station, which was not very good, objectively, but I look back on it and think it had some seeds of a pretty cool horror/psychological drama going there. 

Was Duo Maxwell really  haunting the space station? Or was Heero Yuy just going mad with grief? Who can say.

Tagging! Well, Lise tagged me, so she’s out. How about... @hollyand-writes (if you have the time to spare,) @curiosity-killed, @thethirdamell, @plotdesigner, and @cerusee ?

[bellatrixobsessed1]

Confession Time

TW: For talks of mental illness as well as a mention of suicide.

This has actually been on my mind for quite a while but I was worried about how it would be taken. However this has actually come up several times in the Azula tag now so I might as well talk about it. And before I get to the point I just want to say that I’m very much open to respectful discussion. Please don’t rip me apart over this. 

So here we go; Azula/Therapy makes me rather uncomfortable.

And it does so on a rather personal level and for several reasons. I can’t really get into my biggest reason because it’s very deeply personal and I don’t feel comfortable sharing it online. So I’m gonna start with the less personal reasons as to why I think that Azula/Therapy is kinda sketchy imo.  

I feel as though most people who ship Azula/Therapy don’t really realize how it affects real people? For one thing I feel like it makes a joke of therapy. It’s kind of hard to explain but therapy isn’t some cute and quirky thing. It’s a very serious matter and to ship Azula/Therapy like it’s the next Drapple (Draco/Apple) just doesn’t sit right with me. 

Now don’t get me wrong, I feel like most people who ship Azula/Therapy don’t particularly mean any offense. I feel like to a degree it comes from a place of innocence. But and its big but, I think that Azula/Therapy got its origins from a not so wholesome place. In fact I think that the ship was  born from a place of hate. I think that the first time I encountered Azula/Therapy it was from a very notorious Azula anti. It gained traction with the anti crowd as a means to harass and guilt people for shipping Azula with anyone. And that’s not okay. I think that somewhere down the lines, the Azula fandom kind of reclaimed it but. I am damn near certain that this started as an Azula anti thing.

It’s one thing to ship Azula/Therapy because you don’t feel like Azula is sound enough to be in a relationship. But don’t try to guilt others for disagreeing. And this kind of leads me to my main problem with Azula/Therapy.

I think that it’s kind of, sort of (dare I say) ableist? Just because someone has a mental illness doesn’t mean that they shouldn’t be loved. I’ve been kind of keeping tabs on discussions on this and I came across one anon who literally say something about how “Azula would just be a burden to her lover.” NGL that had me floored because this is the exact line of thinking that puts depressed people in a bad place. Speaking from experience, people with depression feel like burdens/like they are bringing people down. And to see this line of thinking being affirmed in fandom spaces does not help real people who are experiencing the same thing. God forbid someone shares disorder traits with Azula and they see that. 

I am 100% that there are some relationships where a person just isn’t stable enough to be in a relationship and it would be detrimental for them to have one. But for other people finding a lover can be instrumental to recovery! So by all means, this is definitely a matter of something being a case by case thing. Getting a littler personal (but without getting into too many details) I know two people who literally saved each other. And by this I mean, one was super depressed and the other was ready to kill themself. Finding each other was what rekindled their will to live again. That’s why it really bothers me to see Azula/Therapy being tossed around so carelessly. To me there’s this underlying implication that mentally ill people shouldn’t be allowed to date and get love. And that’s just not fair?  I feel like people maybe don’t think about this when posting Azula/Therapy stuff. 

“Well Azula specifically shouldn’t be in a relationship yet because she’s not in a good place for it.”

Okay fair but consider a few things; 1. some people specifically write post-redemption Azula ship fics 2. some people enjoy writing out fics where romance helps her heal. 

I have seen it come up that someone (I won’t mention names because I’m not sure if this user would want that) mention that they ship Azula/Therapy because they aren’t up to writing a fic that involves an arc of Azula getting to a place where she can have romance. Which is totally fair. But, that doesn’t mean that other people can’t. And I feel like this fandom has been trying to guilt people for shipping Azula with anyone. As mentioned, this isn’t fine. (@ mentioned user, feel free to reply). 

Another thing that I saw was an anon saying that being anti Azula/Therapy is aro/acephobic. I’m going to put my foot down as someone who has been very openly aro/ace and say, don’t try to speak for all of us. Yes romance isn’t the solution for everyone because romance isn’t what everyone is looking for. And I absolutely agree with this. However Azula is a fictional character and not everyone headcanons her as aro/ace. For some people, writing Azula in a romance as part of the healing process is what makes them happy. It doesn’t make them aro/acephobic. 

One more thing that I saw come up regarding Azula specifically. And I think that they made a wonderful point; Azula’s breakdown (as I interpreted it) came from a lack of love. Azula craved genuine affection whether she realized it or not. So I would argue that Azula would be one of those people who could strongly benefit from being in a relationship as part of the healing processes. By all means, make therapy a part of that healing process! She can be in a relationship and she can still go to therapy. She can use that therapy to help her keep that relationship healthy. I guess what I’m trying to say is I could get on board with Azula/*Character*/Therapy as an OT3. 99.99% sure that this is really common in real life. Actually 100% sure because (again without sharing too much personal info) I have seen a rather unstable person get into a relationship and use therapy to help them make sure that said relationship stays healthy. 

A person doesn’t have to be 100% mentally sound to be in a relationship. And having a mental illness while  being in a relationship doesn’t automatically make it a toxic or dangerous relationship on principal. I think that (depending on the disorder) some long discussions need to be had and some boundaries need to be put in place. Speaking from experience, I have heard someone say something akin to, “alright, I have *disorder* if I ever do *bad habit* then take these steps and don’t let me push you around...” Things like that. 

TL;DR: I feel like Azula/Therapy (even if it comes from a well meaning place) can be disheartening for people who relate to Azula & people who already feel like a burden in their real life relationships. Ship Azula/Therapy if you want and if it makes you comfortable but don’t try to shame people for shipping her with other characters. Also be weary of people who ship Azula/Therapy  as a means to belittle others.

I think that’s it for now.  If I think of anything else, I’ll add it. I’ll just end by saying that I don’t mean this to be antagonistic or yell at anyone but to offer a new POV.

[amispnrewatch]

SPN 1x06 “Skin”

Okay, I’m gonna try to type while I watch this time instead of forgetting this blog exists until the episode is almost over.

You can tell the footage for the previously on segment was saved on a VHS copy instead of the original film that the show was shot with because even in the HD iTunes version I have it looks low quality as fuck. And jumpy in the way that brings me back to my teens watching the WB all the damn time.

I love this song. WTF is this song. Shazam says “Good Deal” by Mommy and Daddy. I… have no comment, except that it sounds like everything I was listening to in college at the time this shit was airing.

Aaaaand not!Dean turns around to face the SWAT team after obviously torturing some woman. THAT is a cold open.

I wanna know what that car is in the background. It’s pretty. Maybe a convertible Impala? They have similar grills. This is not at all important.

Also, I love that with these higher definition versions of the episodes you can see that Sam’s email is lawboy and whatever dot com and that people in the fandom have started calling him Law Boy. It’s hilarious.

DEAN: Well, what exactly do you tell ‘em? You know, about where you’ve been, what you’ve been doin’?

SAM: I tell ‘em I’m on a road trip with my big brother. I tell ‘em I needed some time off after Jess.

DEAN: Oh, so you lie to ‘em.

SAM: No. I just don’t tell ‘em….everything.

DEAN: Yeah, that’s called lying. I mean, hey, man, I get it, tellin’ the truth is far worse.

SAM: So, what am I supposed to do, just cut everybody out of my life? (DEAN shrugs.) You’re serious?

DEAN: Look, it sucks, but in a job like this, you can’t get close to people, period.

Aaaaand now I have Dean and Cassie feelings again and we haven’t even gotten to her episode yet.

SAM: No, man, I know Zack. He’s no killer.

DEAN: Well, maybe you know Zack as well as he knows you.

Aaaaaand now I have Dean and Lee feelings and we’re nowhere near Lee’s episode in season 15.

YOU JUST BLEW THROUGH A STOP SIGN DEAN WTF.

Little Becky. Oi with the reusing of names.

Of course Sam made friends with a bunch of rich kids while he was at college in a desperate attempt to try to be normal.

SAM: You know, maybe we could see the crime scene. Zack’s house.

DEAN: We could.

REBECCA: Why? I mean, what could you do?

SAM: Well, me, not much. But Dean’s a cop. (DEAN laughs.)

DEAN: Detective, actually.

I love that Dean was like “how dare you call me that.”

Okay, after a bit of research, I totally want to take a day trip to Bisbee, Arizona, but it’s already in the 90s here in the desert and it’s not even May so that trip is going to have to wait until… winter or something. There is no way in hell I’m going deeper into the desert when the weather gets hotter.

It’s a historic mining town tourist trap looking place now which is exactly the kind of shit I love.

SAM: Bec, look, I know Zack didn’t do this. Now, we have to find a way to prove that he’s innocent.

I mean, not technically, technically you would 1) NOT FUCK WITH A MURDER INVESTIGATION YOU’RE NOT LEGALLY INVOLVED IN BECAUSE ANYTHING YOU FIND WOULD BE INADMISSABLE IN COURT 2) find evidence to provide a reasonable doubt for the jury that he did commit the crime. You know, like a lawyer would need to do, Law Boy.

DEAN: I just don’t think this is our kind of problem.

When I made my husband watch this show with me (he’s seen it all at least once now over the years) this is the recurring thing that drove him crazy.

You guys can’t even go in through the back door? Or shut the front door behind you? Really?

REBECCA: (tearfully) Well, there’s no sign of a break-in. They say that Emily let her attacker in.

Yeah, that doesn’t even really mean that she knew her attacker. Just that it was someone she let her guard down around or got in some other way. See: The Son of Sam and Nightstalker, etc.

Love the pinup magnet on the fridge. I’d throw shade at that, but I have a pinup magnet on my fridge too so… pot kettle and all that.

Okay, both people in the next couple are gorgeous.

And oh wow those special effects changing eyes… wow.

This poor couple. I feel so bad for them in this episode.

How… how are the police gonna explain the way he was able to beat himself over the head with a bat??? I…

I love that 5:30 in the morning on TV is clearly like… 10 AM.

Okay, this is a really unrelated point, but the graffiti on the dumpster here reminds me of the Teen Wolf fandoms use of the name Void!Stiles when Stiles Stilinski was possessed by a Nogitsune… I just spent way too long digging through YouTube and my Tumblr tags from back when those episodes were airing looking for a few specific videos and couldn’t find them. The TL;DR reason I bring it up here is goofball, bi-coded main character guy getting possessed by an entity set on destroying the people he loves. SOUNDS LIKE THIS EPISODE AND A WHOLE LOT OF SPN RIGHT. I love that all these monster hunting shows call out to each other.

This scene haunts me years later and I don’t even WATCH Teen Wolf. I just watched the fandom on Tumblr collectively lose it’s shit then tripped down a Hale Pack fanfiction rabbit hole.

ANYWAY

Back to Supernatural, a show that also treated its fan base, cast, and characters like garbage! Huzzah!

DEAN: Well, there’s another way to go—down. (They look down and notice a manhole.)

I’m gonna be mature and ignore the double entendre there…

But I love that Dean thinks of the world in 3D. Which sounds like a dumb statement to make, but this is honestly a good example of that in action.

SAM: I bet this runs right by Zack’s house, too.

Really Sam, sewers run by houses? SO WEIRD. I WOULD HAVE NEVER GUESSED.

DEAN: You know, I just had a sick thought. When the shapeshifter changes shape—maybe it sheds.

SAM: That is sick. (DEAN puts the bloody pile back on the ground.)

Guys, there is a WHOLE ASS EAR in that pile of yuck you’re looking at. I think it’s pretty safe to assume the shapeshifter indeed sheds its skin like a snake. A much… gooier snake.

Sam’s friend is rightfully pissed at him for fucking with the crime scene.

This is before the pearl gripped guns?! Wow. I never noticed that before.

Also, this whole episode gives me feelings.

++++

Cool. Tumblr mobile ate a whole section of my notes on this when it crashed for NO APPARENT REASON. Love that.

It always boggles my mind that actors can trust the people they’re working with enough to let people “tie” ropes around their neck or put them in actually dangerous positions in a scene.

SHAPESHIFTER: He’s sure got issues with you. You got to go to college. He had to stay home. I mean, I had to stay home. With Dad. You don’t think I had dreams of my own? But Dad needed me. Where the hell were you?

SAM: Where is my brother? (The shapeshifter leans in close to SAM.)

SHAPESHIFTER: I am your brother. See, deep down, I’m just jealous. You got friends. You could have a life. Me? I know I’m a freak. And sooner or later, everybody’s gonna leave me. (He backs away.)

SAM: What are you talkin’ about?

SHAPESHIFTER: You left. Hell, I did everything Dad asked me to, and he ditched me, too. No explanation, nothin’, just poof. Left me with your sorry ass. But, still, this life? It’s not without its perks. (He laughs.) I meet the nicest people. Like little Becky. You know, Dean would bang her if he had the chance. Let’s see what happens. (He smiles and covers SAM with a sheet.)

This exchange is just… so much. So many feelings. And I will forever (unless we magically get a fix-it fic mini season someday…) be SO MAD that none of this got resolved in that pointless, trash heap of a finale.

REBECCA: Okay, so, this thing—it can make itself look like anybody?

SHAPESHIFTER: That’s right. (She chuckles.)

REBECCA: Well, what is it, like a genetic freak? (The shapeshifter laughs.)

SHAPESHIFTER: Maybe. Evolution is about mutation, right? So, maybe this thing was born human but was different. Hideous and hated. Until he learned to become someone else. (REBECCA looks around, uncomfortable. The shapeshifter’s eyes glint silver, and he smiles.)

It always amazes me how much of this show is a pile of accidental queer allegories parading around in an ill-fitting toxic masculinity suit.

Vulcan mind meld! I love nerd!Dean. Also, I’m rewatching Star Trek: TOS with my husband, because that is what my life amounts to these days, rewatching comfort TV and flailing over the bits I love.

This post does a better job than I can do of pairing up screen caps with the dialogue of this next scene. SIX EPISODES IN. They’re dumping all of this character depth SIX EPISODES IN. FUCK THIS SHOW FOR NOT EMBRACING ITSELF.

Okay, I love that he screams back in her face after he threw the phone. It’s not something to laugh at because the situation is horrifying, but I can’t help laughing at it every time.

AND THE WAY THEY CUT THESE SCENES. Going from him winding his hand back to backslap her directly to him dropping the chains on the table to show how hard he must have hit her without actually making the actors hit each other. Good job editing department!

I… don’t understand the shifter’s motivation for killing people. If he can take over people’s identities without killing them, why kill them? Is it just because he’s a homicidal, rapist piece of shit? Cause that’s all it seems like.

How did the SWAT team even know she was being attacked? Why can the snipers aim no better than Storm Troopers?

Ugh, these kind of transformation body horror scenes are exactly why werewolf stories have never really appealed to me much. Like, I could do without watching your ribs move and teeth fall out, dude.

BUT.

THIS FUCKING SCENE.

I looked up the song that’s playing over shapeshifter!Dean being caught by the SWAT team and then going through the grotesque transformation. (And as far as I know, the iTunes version has the original music from the episodes.)

It’s a song called “Mary” by The Death Riders

Who's your mother, who's your mother here boy // Who's your mother, whos your mommy dear // Who's your father, who's your father here boy // Who's your father, who's your daddy dear

Silently screaming // Where everyone knows // Daddy's always watchin' // Where everywhere - everywhere I go

I don't wanna be a freak show pretty boy anymore // I don't wanna be a full time slave // I don't wanna be your midnight cowboy anymore // I just want to be Mary

This is… a fascinating choice. Here are the rest of the lyrics. The song as a whole has a weird incesty kinda vibe to it? Kinda like when SPN tries to straight-wash itself and misses the mark wildly. (Like Dean’s male siren episode.)

The midnight cowboy line reminded me of 12x11 and the bull riding scene with “Broomstick Cowboy” by Bobby Goldsboro playing over it

Dream on, little Broomstick Cowboy, // Dream while you can; // Of big green frogs, // And puppy dogs, // And castles in the sand.

For, all too soon you'll awaken; // Your toys will all be gone. // Your broomstick horse will ride away, // To find another home. // And you'll have grown into a man, // With cowboys of your own. // And then you'll have to go to war, // To try and save your home.

And then you'll have to learn to hate; // You'll have to learn to kill. // It's always been that way, my son; // I guess it always will.

Because, you know, why not add tons of feelings into the lyrics, right?

Props to the people who can embrace their rewatches and reclamations of the show with ease. Because every episode seems to remind me of how hollow and tragic Dean’s ending was and I just… struggle all over again.

Anyway, back to the episode so I can move on with my day.

REPORTER: An anonymous tip led police to a home in the Central West End, where a S.W.A.T team discovered a local woman bound and gagged. Her attacker, a white male, approximately twenty-four to thirty years of age, was discovered hiding in her home. (A sketch of DEAN appears on the screen.)

DEAN: Man! That’s not even a good picture. (SAM looks around cautiously.)

SAM: It’s good enough. (He walks away.)

DEAN: Man! (He follows SAM.)

(CUT TO: Alley. DEAN and SAM are walking. DEAN steps into a puddle.)

DEAN: Ugh, come on.

I love that we get two tiny little back-to-back vanity moments for Dean here. One commenting on the sketch artist rendition of him being broadcasted on the news and the other tripping in the puddle. There is literally someone running around the city trying to kill people while wearing Dean’s face, but Dean is still concerned with how he looks appears to others. He’s still concerned with keeping up his own performance. The shifter left him with just a t-shirt, so he doesn’t even have his usual comfort layers on and at any moment someone could spot him and call the police or try to kill him for assaulting Sam’s friend. His life is wildly out of control in that moment and the only thing he can try to focus on is his appearance (something semi-controllable) and finding the shifter before any of that other shit can happen.

One day I want to put together a like top 10 episodes focusing on / explaining each TFW character from the series. Like the kind of list you could show someone who’s never seen the show, but has OPINIONS about the characters (or who hasn’t seen the whole show and seen the growth they went through… you know, like the people responsible for the travesty of 15x20). This episode would be on that list. I’m not sure how I could manage to make a list of only 10 episodes to understand Dean Winchester by, but eh.

SAM: What are you gonna do to me?

SHAPESHIFTER: Oh, I’m not gonna do anything. Dean will, though.

SAM: They’ll never catch him.

SHAPESHIFTER: Oh, doesn’t matter. Murder in the first of his own brother? He’ll be hunted the rest of his life. (He picks up a sharp knife and examines it.)

Speaking of season 15 in general, this right here. This was Chuck’s villain story arc thesis statement. AND THEY DROPPED THE GODDAMN BALL WITH IT. I think that’s the thing that honestly pisses me off the most these days (about 5 1/2 months from when the finale aired) is that they tried making the whole thing a tragedy but did such an awful job with it that it just ended up like a deflating condom balloon at a dive bar concert. Disappointing and gross. The finale for season 14 set them up SO FUCKING WELL and it just… didn’t get there.

Becky’s parents are gonna be pissed at how torn up their house is after all this shit…

And you’re not shooting him when you first see him strangling Sam because…?????

I like that he took the necklace back. Also, is this kinda Dean death number .5 of the show? Like it wasn’t him but it was also kinda him. Eh.

At least they left the windshield on Baby this time. Reflections are better than tearing her apart.

[yanderecandystore]

may i please get a small fic about the loveshrooms?

I didn't expect anyone to like the idea, but I'm so glad you did!

I was going to bring a Yan Bakugou into the mix but- I felt like I could end up disappointing you in a way so I'll just leave it as a ambiguous character, what do you think?

Also, love shrooms is actually a really good name lol!

TW/Tags: loss of sanity and mentions of depressive thoughts // fungal contamination and mentions of diseases (and quarantine) // none gender specific (neither the reader or the character mentioned have their gender assigned) // touch starving // victim blaming mentality.

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

In need of help [Yandere!Virus/Fungus x Reader - Short Fanfiction]:

They were laying in their bed, wondering what the hell was happening with their body. It's been a week since they started to feel this way, endless headaches, hot burning skin temperature yet a feeling of always being cold dominated them, as if they were naked in the middle of a blizzard.

One day they started feeling dizzy while they were at work, so their boss has told them to go back home and rest, and they haven't gone back to their jobs in a full week because of some random sickness they got!

That's what they thought back then, they thought that this was all just a little flu that had ruined their days, but no, it turned out to be something completely more different than that.

They have heard about some sort of disease outbreak happening in their town, something that was still fairly new and mysterious to even the highest of doctors and world leaders. It was so sudden, out of nowhere people started to show symptoms of some sort of new illness, something that develops slowly yet quietly.

The contaminated would feel all that they were feeling right now, if not worse, since a lot of contaminated have shown some weird aggressive behavior randomly. Those that were contaminated were told to limit their contact with other people, some were privileged enough to be able to stay in hospitals receiving professional care, but they couldn't do that, they didn't want to believe that they were contaminated by some stupid looking fungus.

They just… Really, really didn't want to see a doctor, even if the symptoms are getting worse and worse, something forced them to keep their mouth shut. They didn't want to go to a hospital, they didn't want any doctors or scientists experimenting on them, they didn't want to be trapped inside that pearly white hell.

They heard rumours about servers experiments being done inside each hospital available, which caused the contaminated to get even more desperate to get out of there.

The thing is, no one knows if the contaminated were the ones who had decided that they didn't want to stay there, or if something else was dictating that decision.

Apparently, the cause of such distress was a little mushroom species that have only been discovered after the first incident happened. An incident where the first contaminated to fully develop the parasite had attacked someone in the streets (well, allegedly attacked, since there is no proof of the guy actually hurting someone, but it doesn't matter now since he was eliminated before he could attack someone). After that the contamination had spread wildly, it was as if the existence of such a dangerous thing had just been announced and out of nowhere, the damn thing had taken a hold of people's lives.

In one second everything was fine, and then in the next they were stuck at home, feeling hopeless. At least they don't have to be the lab rat of some crazy doctor and scientist. Until now, it has been pretty easy to hide the fact they were contaminated, key words being "until now", guess what happened?

"- Fucking- itchy fungus." They yelled as they continued to scratch their itchy arms, there were visible pink and red blotches around them, and on top of that they were now hurting because of how much force they were using on their itchy arms.

They have learned that it takes too many weeks for it to develop marks around the contaminated bodies, and that the mushrooms spread and thrive in cold habitats.

And guess who was the idiot that has come back from hiking in a snowy forest about two weeks ago? Yeah that 's right! This imbecile right here!

"- Ugh, what the hell do you want from me?" It's been three days since they started talking with the fungus growing inside them, since they noticed that indeed, the fucking thing comprehends human communication somehow.

Or maybe they were just insane.

This was basically an everyday routine, the mushroom would get agitated, they would ask it what it wanted, and in a brilliant moment of concentration they would remember exactly what the mushroom wanted.

"- Pizza again? Come on, you're going to make me spend all of my savings on some lackluster pizza?" They said while looking at their colorful arms, they needed to cover them if they wanted to see anyone else soon.

You see, ever since they started to stay inside their house to not spread the contamination, they have been ordering pizza at a very terrible place that sold only the most boring pizza they could have ever eaten. No flavor at a cheap prize!

It seemed like the stupid fungus had taken a liking to the terrible taste of nothingness, so they had decided to obliged with the fungus wishes.

"- Stupid parasite, you're lucky I can't beat you for making me waste so much in daily deliveries." They continued to be grumpy about it as they put some clothes on, normally they love to spend their time alone naked, and apparently the fungus also agreed with the decision. What? It's their apartment, they can be naked if they want.

They took their phone and typed the number to the pizzeria, well, at least they never take too long to deliver their mediocre pizza.

"- Hi, it's Anthony's Pizzeria, how can I help you?" They heard a familiar voice come from the other side of the call.

Oh.

"- What-!" They yelped, almost causing the call to accidentally end right there and then.

It's you, it's your voice! They know it it's, they are sure of it!

"- … Uhn, hey, are you okay-"

"- I'm f-fine, sorry!" They have interrupted your question, they were so caught up about your voice that they forgot to order the pizza.

Oh but your voice! Your voice was so different in the call than in real life, it's so… Interesting! Yeah, that's surely the word they were looking for!

They have called so many times yet this was the first time you were the one to pick up! They guess that because of the contamination and quarantine stuff going on, they were low on staff and you were the one receiving the orders.

After all, you were the only person that worked there that would deliver their pizza every single time. It became such a normal thing that you two even know each other's names!

[Y/N], it's such a beautiful name, it fits the owner. Although they think you're pretty unlucky to have to work at a terrible place and also do deliveries to an unwelcoming neighborhood.

That's the reason why you're the one to always bring their pizza, it's because you're the only worker that they are willing to risk in such a terrible place. Fortunately, their only client around this area is them.

When they were about to finish their order, they asked if you were the one that was going to bring the pizza.

"- Yeah, it is me. You know, low on staff and all, why do you ask?" You ask them with that welcoming voice of yours. A hint of happiness graced your tone, you were happy that it was them ordering again.

Although you still think that their obsession with mediocre pizza is a little concerning, you ended up forming some sort of friendship with them. An odd one for sure, but you're still happy about it.

When you first met them, they would always give you some really scary vibes. They were so, well, cold and closed off. Never smiling, never giving tips, always in a terrible mood, etc.

But recently, they started to treat you with so much respect, even joking about your job with you. The first time you saw them smile, you thought you were seeing a completely different person.

You're still glad you found this new version of them. They look happier and you felt good for them. Maybe they have found their own happiness.

To hear your confirmation was the most exciting thing they could have heard all day! They were sulking in this disgusting room all day, yet hearing that you're coming makes them feel alive!

They can't even hide their excitement, you can hear them being happy and giggly over the idea of you coming over. Even if technically you're only coming there to deliver them their order and all.

When the call ends, they soon are brought back to reality. When they were talking to you, they felt like they were in the best place on Earth, yet when they looked around their apartment they could only observe the clues of a disgusting creature living in this dirty ass place without ever cleaning it, not even once.

It's a depressing sight, yet they have learned to deal with it. It was normal for them to be lazy and an absolute pig, although they are aware that even pigs are a lot cleaner than them.

They should at least take a shower before you come in.

And just as the idea of you being anywhere near them came into their mind, their personality had switched again, from a grumpy depressed loser to… to…

To whatever the hell they are right now!

Seriously, they were feeling like shit all day, yet at the moment the opportunity to see you comes up, they feel like their day it's already 100 times better!

They feel their heart pounding at an incredible passing, the water of the shower hitting their skin helping their temperature to cook down. They don't even feel so cold anymore, they feel- Powerful!

They feel better than the last time they saw you, which was yesterday, so it doesn't even make sense for them to miss your presence the way that they do, but still!

Apparently even the fungus seemed to be happier about this situation, as their arms weren't itchy at all and the headache they were feeling seemed to have stopped.

They thought the thing was only awaiting its meal, as all living creatures do when faced with the opportunity to get food without any efforts put into it.

It was as if the motive to actually fix a little bit of this place had suddenly appeared at the mention of your arrival! It was uncommon for them to do such a thing, even for a guest, and their neighbors can testify.

Not that they would want to be involved in their life either way, their neighbors know how unpleasant they can be, even to those that live near them.

To think your presence has such an impact on them and their life, even though they never experienced anything like this before, their sudden change in mood never really crossed their minds as being bad or unconventional. It just… Happens.

And- It doesn't feel bad at all.

Maybe this lonely loser is finally understanding the importance of healthy social interactions! Good for them?!

After getting out of the shower and putting their clothes back on, they straight up jump out of the bathroom to complete their next task, which was making their apartment seem a little more *pleasant", at least for someone that was looking at it from the other side of their door.

But before they could do much, their apartment bell rang and you called them from the other side of the door. You did something, however, that would soon be proven to be a bad decision.

You have decided to call them by their name instead of the usual "your pizza is here" or whatever the hell you used to scream so the customers could hear. You thought that you had spent enough time with them to be able to use their name in a friendly manner, which was nothing wrong with that, dearest! Is just that-

They haven't been able to hear people say their name in such a friendly way in a long, long time. It's both refreshing and terrifying how they craved that form of attention.

And what is just as terrifying is how fast they throw their body towards the door, like a desperate addicted trying to reach their dose of dopamine. But that comparison it's absurd, right? It has nothing to do with the current situation.

Oh no, wait-

"- [Y-Y/N]!? You came in e-earlier than I thought! How is everything going??" They would welcome you in, but the truth is that they haven't been able to finish all of the cleaning. Basically, they took all of the garbage that was in front of the door's view and put it deeper in their apartment.

Just like sweeping dirt under the rug, you were only able to see a moderately good looking apartment behind them, yet in reality, all of the dirty dishes and clothes that were previously laying around there, were now shoved under some tables in a desperate need to impress you.

Even if a little bit.

Because of how suddenly they opened the door and came into view, you got yourself a little spooked by the taller figure in front of you. They always looked pretty scary in your eyes, yet recently you started to notice that they have a softer side.

You can't help but associate them with big scary dogs, you guess that they only put some sort of facade to keep themselves appearing to be tough and strong and "scary". You can't lie that they got you pretty good the first time you met.

You answer them, telling how hard it has been to work in an awful pizzeria while the world is burning and a weird disease suddenly has been discovered out of nowhere. They tried their best to continue the small talk, yet it seemed like they didn't need to do much because soon enough you were babbling about your life.

They loved it, you were always so talkative, even to a complete stranger. They wanted to pay close attention to you and what you were saying yet they simply couldn't! Your presence was so overbearingly sweet that they thought they would have a heart attack!

I'm being serious though, their heart started to accelerate out of nowhere and a weird feeling started to arise inside their hearts. They felt so weird and uncomfortable because of the sudden sensations yet- It felt so good in a way.

They felt alive for once, they felt- They felt like they were capable of anything!

Yet they still felt like they needed something more than just… This, whatever the hell is giving them such a wonderful feeling. Could it really be you, the cause of such wonderful emotions to bloom?

Your skin looked so soft, your smile was so gentle even when you were focused on giving them their order, you looked like you cared for them so much that when you noticed their odd behavior you put your hand in their shoulder.

This one, simple little contact managed to get a hold of them and their thoughts, their breathing now way faster and frantic than before.

How long have they been without a human touch? They are pretty sure it wasn't long, yet they still feel… Shamefully needy.

They can't tell what's worse, trying to convince you that they were okay, or trying to convince themselves to not do something stupid. They didn't know what it was, but there was a suspicious feeling crawling up their spine, the feeling that if they didn't control themselves something bad could happen.

They lied of course, saying they were just- Dizzy and a little tired, that they were doing everything on auto pilot, and even if you end up believing them, the moment you take your hand away us the moment they regret not giving in to whatever odd urge they were having a couple of seconds ago.

You were soon about to leave, they didn't even notice that they were holding the pizza box and almost let it fall from their loose grip.

"- H-Hey, wait! [Y/N] I-" they sounded absolutely pathetic, they sounded desperate for your attention but at least it seemed like you didn't mind or simply didn't notice their tone of voice.

You were causing so much frustration yet you remained oblivious to their suffering.

"- Do you… Perhaps, want to hangout later? I-If you're not busy, of course…." They sounded like a teenager who just confessed their crush on someone, well, if they were trying in that situation, normally the other person would at least be aware of their feelings.

But no, of course they aren't and of course you only see their offer as a way to call you for a friendly date.

People sweet and naive like you used to get on their nerves, they used to ignore your type of person yet-

Here they are! Being pathetic and stuttering, the only good thing to come out of this interaction was that you accepted their offer.

At least you're kind enough to accept to meet this poor thing again in a more private scenario. Not in your daily "customer and worker" type of interaction.

And as your form goes away at each step you take, the intrusive thoughts start to come in again. Those thoughts, those pains from earlier, everything was starting to get back.

It really does seem like you're the cause for their problems. Their headaches, their low self-esteem thoughts, the stupid fungus itching their skin, all of that was your fault… Somehow.

In someway or another you were the one that would always show up in their dreams, in their intrusive thoughts. They closed the door to their apartment while slowly placing the pizza on their coffee table, since now their mind was starting to come up with the solution to their daily pains.

This is not about pizza, this is about you! About how you consume their mind, even when you aren't present.

Although, every time you're near them, they feel so much better, like all of their issues have gone away.

That 's it! You're not only the source of their problems, but also the solution! Oh, that 's perfect! They know exactly what they need to do to make sure you cure them.

Yeah… YEAH! YES! They won't need to suffer every day waiting for the next time to see you, they can simply have you by their side, right??!

Please, please tell them, please tell this mad person that you'll cure them of the same thing you contaminated them with!!

Please… They feel so, so cold and lonely. Their only company is a parasite who seems to agree with this person's mad, delusional thoughts.

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

[ponpasta]

 tagged by @suf-fering thank you lovely mwah. also i’m on mobile so whew let’s see how this goes

Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 8 (ish) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome work!

i normally don’t do these but ill treat this as my rambling tags on my own posts. tryna keep it short and sweet (i ended up just doing 5 LMAO no particular order btw)

1.) prom

okay this one. i’m happy with this one bc of the reason i drew it. i remember wanting to have this specific coloring style when i first was doing digital. it’s based off an artist who i adoorreed. i would watch the same speedpaint over and over bc they had only one video of their process. so i decided to let past me have some pride and i was rlly happy how i manage to make the colors work the way i wanted em to.

2.) cuddle

backgrounds are not my strong suit please. i used this drawing as a way to practice that and even practice how shadows would fall with so many objects here and there. and with the small shift of angles, i had to imagine how those objects would look from another side. it took awhile but i was enjoying myself. also i can admit its cute.

3.) that one scene

in the moment, pretty scenes makes brain go brr. this one from su was one of them. this was experimental in a way bc if i’m remembering correctly, this was the first drawing (or at least one of the first drawings) i posted after a long period of time of trying to mimic the su style. and like every edgy teenager, i was just nervous and embarrassed of trying to do something that i normally didn’t do. but i’m happy with it and my friends made me happy with it. love em sm

4.) lumity :)

this was just super cute and fun to color :) it reminded me of how i would color when i drew itsv and i honestly missed that. but the technique also tired and ached my hand so i’m okay i shifted away from it, at least for the time being. i also tried my hand at doing a simple background. i’m always worry it’d be so seperate from the foreground (?) style that it would be too much of it’s own thing. but it worked out if i say so myself

5.) conie

i can admit this one turn out cute. is it bc it’s connie? who knows. but i was trying out new tools from csp and just going bonkers, i wasn’t even going to post this originally and was just sketching a fav character i hadn’t been drawing as much as i used to. also the weeks leading up to it weren’t so bueno so i guess it just felt good to finally draw something nice for once. guess i forgot drawing could be fun for a bit oops

-

tumblr user suf-fering tagged all of my friends. hate it here.

jokes on em, i have cool ass mutuals. no pressure if you don’t wana do this and if wana snatch my @ and say i tagged you, do it. we are homies now.

@axocco @swordmahes @xeebs @anna-scribbles

@leggomyhoteggo @ceiwiart @pogreko

[twilitty]

Moonlit ch.1

This is the first chapter in my new fic Moonlit, it will be posted on Tumblr, ao3, and ffnet. New chapters uploaded every week and a half. Message/comment to be added to my tag list.

3k words

big thank you to my beta reader @effervescentlyirrevocable who has given me the absolute best criticism and helped make this chapter so beautiful :)

Bella moves to Forks Washington, her first week is uneventful. This fic has aged up characters, making them all at entry-college level ages.

Chapter One

My senses are sharper in Forks than they were in Phoenix, I’ve only been here a handful of days yet everything seemed brighter, louder, more alive than my past home. There was something here for me, something that made me feel more alert than I have in years.

The sound of heavy rain slowly pulls me out of my restless sleep, an elbow is thrown across my eyes in an attempt to keep the real world at bay. It’s always raining, the mist layering the ground never abandons its post, and the chilly air seemingly lasts indefinitely. The rainy town of Forks Washington sooner resembles my personal hell than it does a sleepy old town. The forest that borders the town at each cardinal point is layered in green moss, damp dirt, and an endless supply of fresh animal tracks. I’d moved to Forks only a week ago, the sum of which was spent unpacking dreadfully thin clothing and acquainting myself with the few stores and public access areas the town has to offer.

My father, Charlie, has had little to do with this process apart from moral support and the occasional bag of fast food that he’s picked up while on shift. Charlie is the town's police chief, a job that both seems ill-needed and also unbearably boring. How much crime can be committed in a town of fewer than ten thousand citizens? Other than the odd tag on a school building or bush party, what does his shift consist of? I have yet to bring my insulting opinions on his career to his attention, and likely will never do so. He’s a good man with a heart of gold and a passion for the judicial system, which is ever-present in his TV browsing as he cruises through endless episodes of Law & Order.

I’m not a big TV person, even back home in Phoenix, I preferred reading to the television. Perhaps this was related to my mother’s endless stack of yoga DVD’s that seemed to consume our viewing; her in a downward dog position gossiping about her latest advancements at her newest club membership, me sitting on the couch finishing a craft for her so she won’t be late submitting it. My favourite of her crafts was embroidery, one month I embroidered nearly two hundred dandelions on a pair of jeans for her. She gave them to the club administrator as an apology before she quit.

Regardless, at night when the TV is blaring the intro theme to a cop show, I am curled in bed with a book under my nose and headphones in my ears. Blocking out the rain is a full-time chore.

This morning is a particularly eventful morning, not because of any specific events, but rather the events that will be set into motion because of this morning. Today is the first day of my online college courses. I’m currently enrolled in an undeclared major. My hope is that the three courses I’m taking this spring term will help me decide on what I want to do in the future.

Charlie had given me a new laptop upon my arrival in Forks, a current model with modest upgrades to “enhance my academic experience”. Or at least that’s what the box boasted. I am not entirely convinced that a larger memory will miraculously cure me of my educational despise. High school was tortuous, I had few friends and fewer interests outside of my mother’s hobbies. I had no extra-curricular activities that were not synonymous with financial responsibilities. The monthly budget book was mine to care for, as was the constant, intrusive phone calls of the bank when my mother got too engaged in a store. She’s a gullible woman if nothing else. If a store clerk tells her a blouse suits her figure, she’ll purchase ten colours in the article along with two in a size lower just in case she finally loses the ten pounds she’s been trying to shed.

My eyes have barely opened, the down of my forearm just a fraction away from my pupil when Charlie pounds against my door. You’d imagine I was fostering a fugitive in here with the noise he’s making, but this is just the way my father is, loud noises and soft voices. I wonder, idly, if perhaps he has minor hearing loss from spending so much time around guns.

“I’m up!” I call out, my voice is thin and calloused with morning sleep. I clear my throat as the knocking cuts off, “Good morning, Dad.” Charlie doesn’t like me calling him Charlie.

“Morning, Bells,” he calls back through the door, quiet enough to not be taken as aggressive yet loud enough to sound authoritative. He is a father, my father, at heart. He pauses, and it’s as if I can hear the mental gears shifting in his mind. He hasn’t had to be a father since I was a baby, after that Renee was the parent. Charlie was the summer distraction. “Don’t be late for school.” I grunt a response, reaching for the alarm clock on my nightstand and groaning at the early hour of the morning. Barely eight, class doesn’t officially start until noon. I guess there’s nothing wrong with logging in early, although I’d much rather catch up on the sleep I’ve lost to the thunderous storms we’ve been experiencing recently.

As if he could sense my intentions, Charlie knocks against my door again. “Bella, I mean it. You didn’t come here to slack off, now.” No, I think nastily, I came here for peace and quiet.

Between unpacking my belongings and touring the town, I’ve developed a routine in my new living situation. Charlie is fond of my company, enjoying having a woman in the house outside of his ex-wife, my mother and ex-roommate. Although, his fondness of my presence does not directly translate to time spent together. He makes me breakfast, occasionally placing it in the oven to keep warm, and then immediately heads off to his family that is the Forks police station. We meet again for lunch, depending on our individual plans for the day, and then reunite again just in time for dinner. Food really is the great American pastime.

I dress in jeans and a light blue sweater that smells mysteriously of mildew although it’s a recent purchase and has yet to be worn outdoors. I suppose the rain permeates every available space, closed windows be damned. My socks are tall and I have to roll my jeans up at the bottoms to accommodate for the thick, high fabric of them. It’s a trick Charlie taught me for wearing rain boots, the higher the socks the less likely they are to run down to your toes as you walk. Immediately after that trick was taught I went to the nearest hiking store and purchased a pair of rain boots. My first pair of rain boots at nineteen years of age. Unfathomable yet ironic considering my lineage marks back to the wettest town in the continental US. My ancestors roll in their graves every time I step outdoors and forget a jacket or umbrella, I’m sure of it.

Charlie is waiting for me downstairs, both a surprise and unwelcome presence. I had a battered copy of Dorian Gray under my arm, I was expecting philosophy and moral ambiguity, not idle conversation. Before the chief notices my book, I slide it over the back of the couch and enter the kitchen with a polite smile. There’s bacon frying on the stovetop, the police chief is dressed in uniform already, but has a stained white apron tied around his neck. “Dad?”

“Oh,” he turns around and gives me a tight smile, “Excited for your big day?” You’d imagine it’s my first day of preschool with the amount of enthusiasm he’s trying to keep hidden from me, not my first day of online school. I don’t say anything to dampen his mood, I’m glad he’s excited about something. His life is repetitive, if my existence here proves to be no more useful than just disrupting his schedule, it will still be a success.

“Yeah, I guess.” He turns back to the bacon and shifts it around quickly, the grease snapping up at him. If it burns him he doesn’t show it, just maintains the stiff-backed posture of a respectable police officer cooking his daughter breakfast. “I’ve gotta ask, what’s up with the apron?” I stifle a giggle behind a bite of the toast that’s sitting in the middle of the small table. He shakes his head in faux annoyance.

Charlie takes the pan off the hot element, sliding the bacon onto two plates and pouring the grease into an open can. The second trick he taught me since arriving here: never pour grease down the drain.

“I’m in uniform, it would be disrespectful to the badge to stain it.” He slides a plate of bacon in front of me, sitting down in his designated seat across the table. “Besides,” he takes a sip of coffee from his to-go mug. “Can you imagine walking into a police station smelling of fried pig?”

Breakfast ends quickly. We each eat a piece of toast, Charlie stuffing a second piece into a plastic bag “for later” and heading out the door. I still have half a plate of bacon in front of me after he leaves, the maple glaze filling the small kitchen with its smell.

After my Mom and Charlie got married, Renee redecorated much of the house. Her lace curtains still hang in the master bedroom window, constantly drawn closed. The rest of the house has been minorly updated with age, the TV got bigger, the couch more comfortable, new bed linens and even newer rocking chairs on the porch. I had asked Charlie if they were Moms when I first came up to the house a week ago.

They were rocking gently in the wind, the wood seemed to be polished as it shined in what little light filtered through the depressive clouds. They were sitting side by side, matching pillows on them both, a coffee table in the middle with a stack of coasters. It was an old person's porch, where husband and wife would sit all grey and wrinkled, waving at the neighbourhood kids as the bus dropped them off from school. I could almost picture Charlie and Renee sitting there, her knitting a scarf and him content to just watch her and the scenery.

He informed me that they were relatively new, a purchase from a shop down on the Reservation. We haven’t spoken about them since, but I wonder if perhaps he wishes he had someone to sit out there with him.

I spend the morning before class doing odd chores around the house. It’s nice living at Charlie’s, nicer than I had expected it to be. I’m not a fan of the weather or the fact that I currently have no social life, but it’s nice to just sit. I throw my laundry in the wash and manage to get the kitchen cleaned up with just enough time left over to sit on the couch and read a chapter of my book before class.

School has never been my strong suit. That’s not to say I get poor marks or intentionally skip classes, I just never found it as fulfilling as my peers seemed to. I never woke up and looked forward to the social or academic aspect of high school. Perhaps this contributed to me postponing my college experience and only starting it now when I should already be a year into my program.

When I log into my schools online database and click on my first class, Social Psychology 1001, I’m immediately transported to a screen filled with windows and the faces of my classmates. “Hello, class!” The professor's voice calls out over my computer. Perhaps online school won’t be my strong suit either.

Class ends and the next one starts, and I get through all three classes and an hour's worth of homework by the time Charlie pops in for dinner.

“Hey, Bells,” He calls as he opens the front door. I can hear him from where I sit in the kitchen, hanging his gun belt up by the front door and kicking his boots off into a heap on the floor. I imagine Mom back in Phoenix, walking into the house with arms full of bags and tossing her flip flops onto her pile of shoes beside the coatrack she used for purses. Some things won’t ever change.

“How was work?” I ask. He pauses to poke his head into the kitchen, moustache moving as he chews on his lip. I can’t remember when Charlie initially grew out his moustache, just that one summer I arrived and thought could he look more like a cop?

“Good, good, just some meetings. New family moving into town, all foster kids around your age.” He takes pause, staring off into some middle ground in the hallway as if deep in thought. His eyebrows furrow, “Don’t want any trouble makers coming in, but the father seems nice. Respectable.”

“That’s nice,” I contribute conversationally. Charlie and I rarely have material conversations, always just idle talk of the weather or what's for dinner. I’m not entirely sure how to approach this topic, which clearly seems to be occupying his mind.

“Yeah, he’s a doctor.” He grins at this, toothy and a little crooked to the right side. A pang of embarrassment settles in my chest before he speaks, as if knowing where this will turn. “Perfect for you, considering how often your clumsiness-” I wave a hand over my face, grimacing at his words. “Don’t speak it into existence,” I mutter with a half-hearted plea underlying my words. He chuckles, disappearing up the stairs.

I hear the shower turn on after a few minutes of him fumbling around, presumably trying to get undressed. I’m sure once he’s showered and in sweatpants it’ll be twenty questions about my day of school. I’m not sure I have the heart to break the truth to him: it absolutely sucked.

The material was interesting enough, psychology has always been close to my heart. I loved the idea of people being more than their actions and thoughts, that there was something making them say that or something making them act that way. Perhaps this was yet another symptom of having Renee for a mother.

I sit at the kitchen table for a moment longer, my computer is closed in front of me and my pencil case- dreadfully unnecessary with school being online-sits closed and untouched. I haven’t made any friends in my classes, not that I had expected to. Twelve years of public school and no friend group to show for it, just a few texts every couple of weeks. Why would I have believed college, and an online college at that, would be any better?

Having enough with my thoughts, I get up from the table and pack my things into my bag. I’ve completed enough work for today, the rest of the evening I’ll spend either with Charlie or in my room. I’d rather not be nose deep in pdf textbooks and youtube videos constituting as follow-up lectures, I’ve had enough of that today. As if sensing the immediacy of my departure from the kitchen, the shower cuts off and I hear the bathroom door squeak open. For a man who, until recently, lived alone with too much free time, you’d imagine he’d have taken better care of the house. Nearly every door, except my own, creaks open and closed. I made sure to oil my hinges nearly immediately after moving in, I didn’t want Charlie to wake up every time I sneak downstairs for a comfort snack or warm glass of milk to help me sleep. He’s lived alone for nearly twenty years, he doesn’t need his sleep schedule disrupted now.

“The game is on in-” Charlie pauses as if double-checking the times mentally, “- an hour and a half. Are you interested?” He’s calling from up the stairs. I wonder if he truly wants me to watch the game with him, whatever sport it may be, or if he’s only being polite.

“Uh, I was just going to organize my room right now and then maybe make something for dinner,” I say in response. The floors don’t make a noise and I know he’s heard me, but he doesn’t respond. A lump forms in my throat, perhaps he really did want to watch with me.

“That’s fine, but if you want we can order in?” The lump passes and I convince myself that there is no reason to avoid the TV. It’s not like I’ll be a disruption, if I get bored I can read on the couch. I’ve only watched TV with Charlie on a few occasions since my move here, and each time I strategically saved my questions for the commercial breaks.

“Sure! That works.” The floorboards creak and I hear him retreat into his room, the door closing with a pitiful squeak.

We eat pizza on the couch, a large meat-lover for the carnivorous father and a small vegetarian with extra mushrooms for the daughter who cares about her cardiovascular health. We eat slowly, occasionally Charlie will make a face at the television or mumble something under his breath, but other than that we’re quiet. The sport turns out to be baseball and I recall a few of the basic rules from the tragic gym classes of my past. It’s not disastrous in any way, and surprisingly I don’t get bored. There is something relaxing about the repetitive nature of the game.

After the game ends we box up the remaining slices and put them in the fridge to be eaten tomorrow, say good night, and go our separate ways at the top of the stairs.

taglist:

@musingsofvenus @maybesandohnos

[northernscruffycat]

Tagged by @101flavoursofweird

I’ll tag @pandirpus @krokonoko @my-artblog-is-ssjumi @yallemagne @amberrgalaxy @swamp-y and anyone else who wants to do this. But this is a pretty long one, so don’t feel like you have to :3 (On that note, I’ll be putting most of this under a cut for exactly that reason)

How many works do you have on AO3?

131 at the moment. But some of those are different oneshots from FFN that I posted into one fic when porting over to AO3, so I’d be fascinated by what the actual amount of fanfics I’ve written is.

What’s your total AO3 word count?

1242922 words

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Just counting what’s on AO3, so far I’ve written for 17 fandoms. They are: Free!, Professor Layton, Hades Game, Steven Universe, Pokemon, Ace Attorney, Yu-Gi-Oh DM, Yu-Gi-Oh GX, Yu-Gi-Oh 5d’s, Sonic the Hedgehog, Super Mario, Dr. Stone, Tintin, Night in the Woods, GetBackers, Good Omens and Cooking Mama What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

‘just wanted to write a fic where senku says ‘get excited’ during sex’ (My SenGen oneshot that gets a wave of attention whenever a new chapter or episode of Dr. Stone comes out)

‘laughable’ (An Ares/Hypnos oneshot I wrote purely as a sample for a zine app and underestimated how popular that ship is lol)

‘the prince with specific tastes; the king with specific regrets’ (THAT Theseus fic. My absolute fave thing I’ve ever written)

‘Shallow Grave, Shallow Bae’ (A Reigisa fic based on Octopimp’s 50% Off! abridged series of Free!; I honestly do think this fic slaps and I’m glad folks like it)

‘Barrel of Monkeys’ (The AsaIku & KisuHiyo collab fic I wrote with Amber that was a lotta fun and I’d love to do something like this with them again one day for a different fandom. Also, I feel like we captained the small KisuHiyo fandom with this fic back in the day)

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I generally respond to comments. Almost always, unless I really can’t think of anything to say in reply, which is pretty rare. Comments make me so happy and I just want to let people who do comment know that I appreciate them.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

I think the angstiest fic I wrote was a Free! fic called ‘Moves Across the Land’ - the premise of which is that Makoto died as a young adult of an illness and each chapter is a different person in his life receiving a letter that he wrote for them before he died. But that one had an optimistic ending, with Haru and Kisumi unexpectedly finding a newly strengthened friendship in sharing the grief of Makoto’s death. So I guess technically the angstiest ending I wrote was a short Archie/Maxie oneshot where Maxie gets killed by Kyogre lol

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yes, but I ended up agreeing with it! Waaay back (probably more that 10 years ago at this point), I wrote a bunch of Layton/Rosetta oneshots that I now don’t stand by. One of them, in my naivety, I went too far with and breached uncomfortable territory. I got a couple of comments about how uncomfortable it was, so I ended up deleting that particular fic and felt better after it was gone.

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

I am a fledgling at writing smut, which is probably obvious to anyone who’s read my smut haha. When I do write it, I prefer to focus on the dialogue between the characters - I like a banterous smut scene. Also, they’re usually pretty tame. I like writing about handjobs, blowjobs and wanking the most when I do write smut.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Again, not that I know of, but that would be awesome! A few years ago, a kind person messaged me about potentially translating my Layton fic ‘Grasping Liquid’ into French, but I don’t think they went through with it in the end. Though honestly, the dialogue and slang in that fic is pretty much illegible in English, so I reckon it’d be a tough fic to translate.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes, the aforementioned ‘Barrel of Monkeys’ that I co-wrote with @amberrgalaxy It was a lot of fun and I love it :D

What’s your all time favorite ship?

Hmm... I don’t think I have a single all time favourite. I jump through a lot of OTPs and they always mean a lot to me, but it wouldn’t seem fair to pick out a single one that’s always shined brighter than the others, because that’s not really how my hyperfixations work. But my current favourite ships are Momus/Heracles (to be narcissistic) and TheseZag from Hades Game. While my oldest ship that I’m still invested in is Yami/Seto from Yu-Gi-Oh DM.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Shockingly, I don’t have any right now. A few years ago (I think 2018?), I made a point of going back and finishing ALL my old WIPs that I’d left hanging but intended to finish, even for fandoms I didn’t plan on going back to. So that freed my conscience of them and felt pretty good. At the moment, my only WIP is ‘if found please return to the underworld’ - an AU where Zagreus does make it to Olympus, so Hades sends Theseus, Asterius and Meg to try to get him back. But I’ve only just started writing that one, so I do hope to stick with it until it’s finished.

What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue. Definitely dialogue. I’m told that I capture the canon voices of characters pretty well and that’s always what I’m trying the hardest to get right, so it means a lot to me. I also feel like I’m good at keeping a fic flowing, without being bogged down by too much detail. But the downside of that is that I often sacrifice description, so I still hope to find the balance. Since Hades Game has more flowery prose than I’m used to, I think getting into that series actually helped me with this.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I do not think I am experienced enough to be able to pull this off well and would worry too much about making mistakes.

What was the first fandom you ever wrote for?

It was Pokemon, but those fics aren’t online anymore. The oldest fics you can still find buried somewhere with my name attached to them are Sonic fics.

What’s your favorite fic you’ve ever written?

‘the prince with specific tastes; the king with specific regrets’ - Sometimes I look back at that fic and wonder if I actually wrote it, since I avoided falling into all of my usual traps: I researched it properly and frequently, I kept the focus on the five main characters instead of getting distracted by introducing a million other character like I usually do, I plotted the fucker out from start to finish instead of winging it, and I worked the flashbacks into it in a way that balanced the present-day out instead of distracting from it. Also, I got the whole thing written in about two months, instead of staling for years. ...Whatever possessed me when I wrote that fic, please come back. (It was the first time I’d had two weeks off together in about three years, so I think that had a lot to do with it) OH YEAH and that same kinda villain OC who I recycle in every fandom I’m in actually landed this time. It brought me so much joy to see how much people loved to hate Momus. Those two months when I was posting that fic are easily a highlight of my life. :D

[cescalr]

3, 14, 27 for the salty ask! :D

3. Have you ever unfollowed someone over a fandom opinion?

< - < yeahhhh more than once whoops... I got Tired of reading meta i thought was nonsensical and seeing ships I really Don’t Like - this was before exclusion was something I had the ability to freely do, though, and now I wouldn’t unfollow, I’d just block the tags for things I don’t like, stay for the stuff I do. 

14. Unpopular opinion about your fandom?

I’m going to get drawn and quartered but Sterek... is too popular.... I said it yeah (I’m so sorry I’m pretty sure you like them ahh, I just.... yeah... it’s not even like Drarry for me like at least I used to ship Drarry (I admit now that makes me feel a little ill for Personal Reasons) I’ve never gotten sterek and it’s... like more than most of the fics... and it even appears in stuff that doesn’t tag it.... im not like. Angry but I am Salty... just look at the most kudosed fic on Ao3 for TW (with Stiles Stilinski/Derek Hale specifically excluded!!) and you’ll see what I mean... Please Tag Appropriately... also most of the content I’ve seen for it is like refusing to acknowledge anything after s2?? what’s up with that, also stiles was like, 16? and Derek was like 24??? which is REALLY PUSHING IT like legally in England that’s like... no, you know? I think it used to be 16s can date up to 24 but idk brain = dead I think it had something to do with parents?? and stuff??? but i think it’s been changed since, anyway point is,,, look Derek when he was sixteen was horribly hurt by a 24 year old woman.... and Im not comparing the two but there is No Way Derek would go anywhere Near a minor in that way that’s just... so wrong on so many levels,,, also personally I really didn’t see them as standing each other beyond what they both individually cared for Scott, which is just a me thing idk im sorry i don’t care for Sterek i deeply apologise... if only i could, it’s like 90% of the fandom but it’s... squicky to me, very sorry, idek why really bc i mean when time-travel or deaging is involved im ok with Steter so maybe im just a hypocrite who knows,,, i guess if i said id probably be more ok with scerek and im NOT a fan of sceo but i do like steo it might start to make more sense?? I’m like. I’m just picky. And very arbitrary, it’s a flaw, i do want to say i have NOTHING against anyone who does ship sterek!!! It’s just not for me and idk why it makes me uncomfortable bc you’d THINK steter would make me uncomfortable but it doesn’t so \_¬-¬_/ also im a stalia over stydia kind of gal,,, and a scira over scallison kind of gal... and a scydia over scolia kind of gal.... just like fyi idk it’s late im tired i got up at like six today now i really am just rambling whOOPS)

27. Least shippable character?

Like Garret Douglas idk Kate Argent and Geriatric Argent,,,, the Reprehensibles basically.... they are solely villains like actually totally evil and they’re really gross people so... no thank you 

[bard-llama]

Completed Multi-Chapter Plotty Fics (The Witcher)

“Llama”, you say, “you write a lot, but you’re terrible at updating on a schedule”

Me: I know and I’m sorry. Soooooo, here’s a masterlist of all my COMPLETED multi-chapter fics, in case anyone has been waiting to check them out.

If you like my writing, consider donating to my ko-fi! I am writing gift fics for all donors. 

Series

Families of Choice Series

Geraskier/Geraskefer Found Family series

5 Dinners with the Lioness (Plus 1 with the Lion Cub)

First part of the Families of Choice Series

Summary: The story of Calanthe and Jaskier's unexpected friendship

Prophetic Dreams

Where the main plot of the Families of Choice Series starts

Summary: Geralt has just found his child of surprise when they both have the same dream. In the dream, Jaskier is being hurt because of them.

Blade of Chaos

Tissaia character study

Summary: After the Battle of Sodden Hill, Tissaia goes searching for Yennefer. What she finds is nothing she ever could have expected.

A Rose by Any Other Name

Part of the Families of Choice Series, but not impacted by the main plot

Summary: Jaskier has gone by several names in his time. Some had worked better than others. Or, the story of names through flowers, spite, and the power of music

Petals and Stripes

Iorveth/Roche Hanahaki AU

I who have seen much, such have I never seen

Oneshot, prequel to Earth Laughs in Flowers

Summary: When their Commander starts coughing up blood and flowers, the Blue Stripes are forced to deal with what that means.

Earth Laughs in Flowers

Oneshot, 1st written in the series

Summary: When Roche isn't present during a scuffle between the Scoia'tael and the Blue Stripes, Iorveth discovers that the reason is much more serious than anything he could've guessed.

Where Flowers Bloom, So Does Hope

Summary: Vernon Roche almost died, suffocated by flowers that represented his love for someone he should never have wanted. Now, amazingly, surprisingly, he was still breathing. Which meant he had to deal with everything that had happened.

Happiness held is the seed, Happiness shared is the flower

Oneshot, 4th in series

Summary: Roche may have reconciled with his team and resigned himself to heartbreak, but the Stripes aren't quite so content to let their Boss be miserable.

A Hard Day’s Night (NEW!)

An Iorveth/Roche nsfw interrogation/torture series. Mind the tags.

All In A Day’s Work

Summary: When Iorveth ends up captured and imprisoned in the dungeons, it is Vernon Roche's job to get him to talk. Things... don't exactly go to plan.

Forever and a Day

Summary: After the battle is done and the dust settles, Iorveth and Saskia turn to each other.

If You’re Good to Mama (NEW!)

An Iorveth/Roche series from the perspective of Roche’s mom and the brothel workers

The Food of Love

Summary: When Vernon Roche comes to his mother to request a favor, Eliza must draw on her extensive contacts to arrange a deal with the leader of the Scoia'tael: Iorveth.

The Woodland Fox and The Temerian Hound (NEW!)

An Iorveth/Roche animal transformation AU

Dog-gone It

Oneshot, 1st in series

Summary: The Blue Stripes hear some strange rumors about Triss cursing their Boss and go to investigate.

I Shih Tzu Not

Oneshot, 2nd in series

Summary: Iorveth had heard rumors that Roche had been cursed, but nothing had prepared him for the reality of it.

For Fox Sake!

Oneshot, 3rd in series

Summary: In the aftermath of his ill-advised affair with Iorveth, Vernon Roche tries to figure out what to do.

Let Us Lynx Our Lives Together

Summary: When Iorveth discovers that he might be pregnant, he has a lot of decisions to make - about the baby, about the Scoia'tael, and about his relationship with Vernon Roche.

Stand Alone Fics

5 Gifts from Family, 1 Vision of the Future, and 1 New Start

Pavetta-centric

Summary: Pavetta gets to know her family after the banquet.

Falling Into the Lion’s Den

Calanthe/Eist, Rated E

Summary: Calanthe and Eist have slept together many times, but it was never about feelings. So why does Eist propose to her and insist on changing everything?

Five Times Geralt Frotted Against Jaskier’s Ass and One Time He Fucked It

Geralt/Jaskier, Rated E

Summary: Based on this tumblr post about Geralt frotting against Jaskier's ass in his sleep.

Greg the Demon Horse

Based on Joey Batey’s instagram video here

Summary: Jaskier tries to make a stuffed toy for Ciri. If only he knew how to sew properly.

Know Thine Enemy

Pre-Iorveth/Roche, Rated E

Summary: Iorveth spends a lot of time wondering what it was about Vernon Roche that got to him. A chance encounter in the forest forces him to question if there might not be more to it than determination to outwit his enemy.

Red is the Rose

Iorveth/Roche, Rated M for violence

Summary: When Roche gives Iorveth a rose of remembrance, Iorveth doesn't know what to think. Legend has it that if you give a rose to someone you love, then it’ll live forever, but surely that can't be true. After all, Roche is his enemy.

Scenes from Another World (New update!)

Iorveth/Roche, Rated M

Standalone scenes based on different trope AUs, but set in the canon Witcher universe.

Soft Words and Kind Hearts

Geralt-centric

Summary: A collection of fills for Geralt Fluff Week 2020.

Sweat and Blood and Tears: A Geralt Whump Collection

Geralt-centric

Summary: Collected shorts for Geralt Whump Week.

That Wild Blue Yonder

Modern!Jaskier in canon!verse

Summary: Jaskier lives in the modern world as Julian Alfred Pancratz. When his family vacations at an old castle his cousin owns, he discovers an old wardrobe that leads to the Continent. Specifically, it leads to a wardrobe belonging to Madeline de Stael

Tied Up in You

Yennefer/Geralt + Jaskier/Geralt + some OT3, Rated E

Summary: Set between episodes 5 and 6. Geralt wants to be tied up – he just has to work up the nerve to ask his lovers. Yennefer and Jaskier are both more than happy to comply when they take their turns with him.

To Be...

Yennefer character studies, loosely connected

Summary: Collection of shorts for Yennefer Appreciation Week on Tumblr!

[barry-j-blupjeans]

I was tagged by @sgrumby!! Thank you! <3

Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 8 (ish) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome work!

Don’t Forget Me

This one.... I don’t know what it is about this fic, but it brings me so much happiness remembering that I wrote something this good. I don’t know if it’s the way I wrote it or the content or what, but... gosh. Blupjeans + Angst with happy ending? Please... 

Vampire Blups (and the continuation, by extension)

I absolutely fell in love with the concept of vampire blupjeans while writing these. Some of my favorite things to write are just very... open and soft and sincere, I guess. Characters being emotionally vulnerable and trusting each other. Just the softness of all of them being close.

Corrections; Fear of Rejection (on AO3)

I mainly wrote this fic because of dysphoria, to be honest, but it turned out a lot better than I hoped for. I’m finding it hard to find a lot of trans content that’s not specifically smut related, and I kinda hate that? Because, yes, of course we need trans representation in smut, but we also need it in regular fics as well. This ones about Magnus, who I personally HC as trans, and it has a nice lil’ touch of Barry and Lup at the end.

From the Moment I Met You (Again and Again) (on AO3)

This one is incredibly important to me. I’m not going to go into details, but memory loss is a huge thing in my life, and making this helped me cope. It’s Taako-centric and I just... love it. It’s very soft, it’s very real, and I personally find it very heartwarming.

Food’s Getting Cold (on AO3)

Magnus-centric and loving it. As someone who suffers from a suitcase full of mental illnesses, exploring what happens to TAZ characters after the battle ends is very intriguing to me. I think you might be seeing a bit of a trend by me saying “I wrote this to vent” but, honestly? Writing helps. 

Blups have a good day

This... makes me so incredibly soft, I’m not gonna lie. I don’t know what else to say besides that. I actually feel really good about this lil ficlet. It makes me feel nice. I like it.

Roommates

This one? This one is good. Still on the same side of “what kinda mental health issues do the birds have”. S’ about Barry and Magnus and I do really like it. I think I did a good job on it!!

tagging @the-badass-journal-keeper!! And anyone else who wants to go for it!! Just put me as the “tagged by”, I don’t mind :O!

[unexpectedcronchiness]

part 10 of drabbles from the chat my dudes i love wolfstar

Big thanks to @remusjohnblack-fics for the idea and premise and sorry in advance for the bad french

remus knew that it could have been worse. "Bonjour", the word said in an aristocratic scrawl on his collar bone. Since he could begin even thinking about his soulmate he had decided that he would not be ignorant and that he would know everything there was to know about the language and country. but still, could remus ever visit france then? I mean it's hello, everybody says hello. if he were to go to france would it be the first person he'd see? Maybe that was what needed to happen? so he put it off, and continued his learning from afar. 

By 18 remus was an expert in everything french and decided it was time to meet his soulmate so he enrolled in a french university and hopefully that would be that. Tonight however, he didn't have to worry about any of that. It was his going away dinner with his family, and that was all that mattered. They were in a small, cheesy french restaurant that his parents had picked out ("you'll be able to eat good french food everyday darling, we won't, indulge us.") they were waiting for their waiter, the smells of fresh bread wafting throughout the restaurant. Finally the young man had shown up and, well, damn, to put it simply. Sometimes remus wished he hadn't decided to save everything for his soulmate (as many did, but others chose to experiment to see what they liked or to make their future soul mate happy) because when he saw the tall, aristocratic, silver eyed, raven haired waiter, he could feel himself flushing. His soulmate wouldn't look like that, he thought, a tinge of sadness lurking through him. Waving that odd thought away he turned his attentions back to the present. The waiter, sirius black, his name tag said. His handwriting was pretty, and a little familiar, wait-

"Bonjour" remus gaped, and his collarbone tingled, no,no, no way at all- "Welcome to bon voyage hunger, ill be your waiter for the evening, sorry for the wait..." his parents were listening happily, why should they be doing any different, he hadn't shared what his tattoo said, they just knew it was something french. And the way he said it, in the thickest faux french accent that only a british man could do and it all set remus off

"J'ai appris l'intégralité de la langue française, la culture française pour être putain de gentil et il s'avère que votre britannique et vous venez de valser ici" Bonjour "bonjour mon cul c'est de la connerie juste ici-"

(("I learned the entirety of the french language, french culture to be fucking nice and it turns out your british and you just waltz in here "Bonjour" hello my ass, this is some fuckery right here-"))

the waiter-sirius- gasped, and gripped his hand, and then started laughing, with an amused glint in his eyes. "well thats one mystery solved then" He grinned and continued "on dirait que nous avons eu la même idée, quelques faux français nous sommes" in flawless french

((looks like we had the same idea, a couple of fake frenchies we are))

remus flushed, he had not expected him to understand him, much less reply and oh god this was ridiculous they had both learned french to answer the other that had learned french just to answer- this was so confusing

remus's parents heads were whipping back and forth between the two of them, know something had just happened while also not knowing why their son had blown up at the poor waiter

"puis-je le voir ... votre marque qui est... voir voici la mienne" sirius whispered, pulling off his gloves

(can i see it... your mark that is... see here's mine)

sirius held his hand out for remus to read and sure enough, in remus's loopy sloppy cursive there was his paragraph. the words looks so small and bunched together and remus couldn't help but feel a little guilty

Remus nodded, slowly he took off his jacket, unbuttoned his shirt, and slid it over to the side just enough to make out the word.

Remus's parents gasped understanding what had just happened

Sirius gazed appreciatively over remus's collar, and then he looked up and caught remus's eyes. "so" he said breaking the silence finally and slid into the booth next to remus "my name's sirius black, obviously." he gestured to his name tag and in general. "what's yours darling?"

darling? remus thought, that was rather forward he sniffed. then he sighed because no it wasn't. "it's remus, remus lupin." then he added "snookums" dryly and deadpan, just for good measure.

sirius laughed at this "oh gods you're better than i ever hoped" this caused remus to blush "How can you say that we've only known eachother a period of practically 15 minutes that's ridiculous-" sirius cut him off "I'm an excellent judge of character, pudding" he smirked and popped the p on pudding, close to remus's ear. remus couldn't help it, he shivered, and blushed, looking away. sirius noticed this reaction and grinned to himself, obviously pleased but then he looked nervous "Besides, we've got the rest of our lives to prove my point...right?"

"well of course-" remus began but then the impact of sirius's words hit him

"y-yes" he said softly after a brief paus

someone cleared their throat

oh, whoops

mr lupin was looking slightly shook, but mrs. lupin was highly amused and she continued "well remus, i think we'll leave the two of you to talk then"

they got up and left "but- wa-wait" he protested meekly

"afraid of being alone with me then?" sirius joked, but remus could tell he was nervous that that was the truth.

"no" remus elaborated after gathering himself "not at all, pookie. It's just this was supposed to be our goodbye meal before i left for university in paris and-" "oh shit i shouldn't have interrupted maybe they're still outside we can go get them and wait did you say going to paris-" oh whoops remus thought again "nonono its ok, i mean you're my bloody soulmate, they understand and uh yeah, paris-" "oh thank god that's such a relief i had no idea how i was going to break it to you i was moving to paris for university either, thats a relief" sirius cut in, a weight lifted off his shoulders

then sirius added "muffin" for good measure

remus couldn't help it, he laughed, he laughed at the whole thing, it was rather ridiculous, he found his soulmate in a restaurant called "bon voyage hunger" and he didn't speak french and they had already dove head first into pet names and he was gorgeous and seemed like a genuinely good person, it was just too much

"ahem, so what university are you going t-o...in -pa-paris" remus started to say after he had gathered himself but started stuttering as he turned to look at sirius who was staring at remus with such an intense fondness that remus couldn't help but blush again. god dammit he'd practically spent the whole night with his newfound soulmate blushing and stuttering.

"hmm, oh um Paris college of art, i want to be a sculptor" "th-the paris college of art? you're serious" sirius grinned goofily at this and said "why yes, yes i am, pleased to meet you" remus groaned but continued "so am i, i want to study art though im not sure which area specifically yet, they're all so interesting and fun and i love them all theres too many but i don't have the money to major in literally everything and each of them convey emotions in such a different way and i just-"

remus was aware that he had started rambling but stopped when he felt a soft tentative hand on his

"that's bloody excellent remus, really" and then he looked nervous again. he seemed to constantly be switching between confident and apprehensive yet remus found it endearing. "and uh" he coughed, "you don't have to worry about money, i mean if you want you could study everything for the rest of your life and we could live, well uh, lavishly to say the least, um im kind of bloody rich i guess...." he trailed off, clutching remus's hand

"did-did you just offer to be my sugar daddy?” remus could not believe it

sirius laughed "not intentionally,and i prefer the term, caring supportive spouse to be , maybe to sugar daddy?"

"spouse to be, you're rather confident aren't you"

"i'm not saying we have to get married or anything im just-" "oh gods you already have a ring don't you" "-no!" "YOU DO" "no i doN"T" remus felt a surge of confidence and dug his hand into sirius coat pocket. sirius yelped at remus who was now practically on his lap "damn remus we're in a restaurant im not big int exh-" "aha found it!" remus pulled out a silver ring case and handed it to sirius "if you're going to propose to me, you better do it full on" this time it was sirius's turn to stutter and blush

"it wasn't supposed to be an engagement ring more like an uh" he trailed off, clearly embarrassed. Remus couldn't resist teasing him "oh, so you don't want to get married to me" he pouted, just a little "Oh gods no i want to marry you so bad i just didn't know if you would so it's it's more like a promise ring maybe?" that stopped remus in his tracks

sirius greatfully took the pause to gather himself and got on one knee "Remus lupin, shit i don't know if you're supposed to get on your knee for a promise ring, i don't know if im proposing or just- shit just,  i promise to be yours, do you want to be mine?"

"oui vous beau salaud" (yes you handsome bastard)

"but i refuse to get officailly married at 18, so you're just going to have to wait and sit your pretty little ass back down" sirius's smile glowed as he said "I would wait eternity and back for you remus"

THE END

[miracle-sham]

Hold Your Wake Softly, for the Dead Sleep Lightly.

| {MaribatMarch2020, Week 3, Day 17: Grave} |

| [Ao3 Link] | | [Masterlist Link] |

| Triggers/Warnings: Major Character Death, Temporary Character Death, Graveyards/Cemeteries, Mentions of Death, Explicit Language/Swearing, Blood and Minor Injuries. |

| It's been six months since she died, so Jason goes to visit her grave. Only sometimes things aren't quite as they seem, and dreams are merely reflections of reality. |

| Word Count: 1794 |

-<◊>-

| A/N: So this is probably going to be my last Maribat March ficlet. I've been super busy and I got ill again (which is why I've not responded to comments yet, sorry!), so I've barely been able to get any writing done, and most of the fics are turning out not great. This fic is the only one that turned out well and I'm happy with it. I've not really got else much to say, so uhh enjoy! |

| If you want to be tagged in future oneshots/fics, or a specific Au, then comment or send me a DM/ask! |

| Also side note, Don't Like? Don't Read. Also also, please do not criticise any of my writing. This was written for fun and receiving criticism, even in a compliment/criticism sandwich, is the exact opposite of fun. |

-<◊>-

 Jason knows he's dreaming. But what strikes him as odd, is that he's dreaming. He's not dreamt since his dip in the Lazarus Pit. Weathered nightmares and night terrors, sure. But not the stuff of rainbows, sugar plums, and happiness, no. Although, this dream he's dreaming isn't exactly that either, so perhaps it shouldn't be that much of a surprise.

 He can't quite tell where he is. The surroundings are completely unfamiliar. He's on a roof, that much is clear. But it's not a roof in Gotham, no. Jason knows the roofs of Gotham like he knows the back of his hand. If he had to guess, the roof looked European in style, maybe Gothic French/Parisian if he had to guess specifically. There are poles and fairy lights strung up around the roof, and a picnic blanket is laid out with a basket overflowing with sandwiches, pastries, and fresh fruit.

 And as lovely as the scene is, the disconcerting part, is the phantasm sitting beside him. A phantasm in the guise of his lost love. Just sitting there, alive and breathing—with her eyes, so bright, twinkling in the low light—and her dazzling smile, the lovesick one he'd always catch her doing when she thought he wasn't looking.

 Jason can almost imagine the warmth of her. But this is a dream, and she's nothing more than a phantasm. So there's no real warmth. It's just his imagination. Not that that knowledge does anything to ease the aching of his wretched and bleeding heart.

 He's almost tempted to stay here. To indulge in this love-stricken reverie of a dream. But he can't. Not tonight. Not when tomorrow he'll wake with the dawn and trudge over to the cemetery and lay a bouquet of marigolds upon her grave.

 It almost sickens him, to need to leave this place. He'd love nothing more than to hold her in his arms one last time. But she's not real.

Jason feels a need to wake up, for the sliver of peace in the hopes that he'll forget this torturous dream upon waking. It hurts. It hurts so much to be close to her only for her to be a phantasm.

 No sooner does he think this, he feels the darkness of the dream ending pull at him. Tugging him away from the rooftop with her and tossing him into the swirling shadows of dreamless sleep.

-<◊>-

 Except, he doesn't wake up in his bed from a dreamless sleep like he expected to. No, he finds himself in a bleak observatory with a giant window that has a butterfly design in it. The edges of the room are shadowed, as only the window and a circle in the centre of the room are illuminated with faded blue light.

 There's a shimmer in the centre of the illuminated circle, and a young child kneeling on the floor flickers into view. No matter how much he tries to focus, Jason finds himself unable to tell what the child looks like. It's almost as though there's a magical glamour surrounding them that makes it impossible to see their true appearance.

 Jason walks to the edge of the circle and stares at the child. They're holding two pieces of jewellery, one in each hand. In their left hand, is a pair of red and black spotted earrings and in their right hand, is a black and green ring.

 Two strange small creatures float above the child's hands. The one floating over the ring, is a weird-looking purplish-black cat with green eyes. The one floating over the earrings, is an even weirder looking red and black spotted bug thing.

 Jason squints then furrows his brow, the child and the creatures appear to not have noticed him yet. Yet.

 “I want to make a wish.” The child says solemnly.

 The bug creature looks pained at that statement. “There'll be consequences.”

 “An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth.” The cat creature pipes up.

 The child bites their lip. “I know and I don't care. I want to bring the previous Ladybug holder back to life.”

 The bug creature starts to tear up. “Mar—” it pauses. “The previous holder has been dead for six months.”

 A chill runs down Jason's back and his mouth becomes inexplicably dry. Fuck, he thinks weakly. They're talking about her. He drags a hand down his face and bitterly blinks back tears, feeling so fucking conflicted.

 The child tilts their head to the side and closes their eyes for a minute. “I know. I still want to bring them back. Again, I don't care about the price. The previous holder shouldn't have died.”

 The cat creature narrows its eyes at the child. “If you bring the previous holder back with the wish, it won't be an immediate revival. Whoever pays the price for the wish will spend the next six months slowly wasting away as the previous holder returns to life.”

 Jason feels sick because as much as he misses her like a lost limb, he doesn't want to subject her to the trauma of coming back to life and digging herself out of her own grave, like he did.

 The child hums. “Like a portable charger? Drain the power in one object to recharge the other object?”

 Huffing, the cat creature rolls in its eyes. “That's one way of putting it.”

 The child nods. “Do I get to choose who pays the price?”

 “No, the person who pays the price must be of equal value to the previous holder. For example, you couldn't pay the price because you're too young and don't use a power to achieve a goal.” The bug creature explains, shaking its head.

 The child frowns and puts the earrings and ring on. “Okay. Tikki Spots on. Tikki, Plagg, Unify.”

 The following flash of bright light temporarily blinds Jason.

 “Using the power of the Ladybug Miraculous of Creation and the Cat Miraculous of Destruction, I wish that...—”

 The world fades to darkness and silence before Jason can hear the rest of the wish.

-<◊>-

 It's the dawning of the wake, with its claggy skies above and claggier mud underfoot; rain splatters against the pavement in a constant solemn cadence. Rusted wrought iron railings are all that stands between him and his love.

 Jason treads slowly, shoulders hunched, gaze averted. He's walked this path before. Too many times, the others would claim. He bites his lip and blinks back tears. He follows the path to the marble gravestone, her gravestone.

 Falling to his knees upon the grave's soil, he lightly traces the stone's engravings with one finger, silently muttering along.

 When he runs out of words to trace, he closes his eyes and leans his forehead against the stone. Digging his hands into the grass and soil, he can't help but let out a hollow sob.

 The minutes ebb by as he slowly recomposes himself. The cold wet mud of the grave clings to him, both that and the rain chills him to the bone.

 He sighs, then swallows thickly. “Hey, Mari. I know missed visiting you last week, I'm sorry. I got caught in a bit of a scuffle in our—uh night job.” He quickly glances around incase anyone's nearby, but on such a dreary day like this, there's not another soul in sight. “I attempted to bake your signature macaroons last night. They turned out fairly well but they're shit in comparison to how you get them to turn out.” He chuckles hollowly.

 “Last night whilst out on the night job, I found a tiny blue kitten with the most piercing blue eyes ever. Kinda reminded me of you, so I kinda ended up adopting it. I think you both would get along like a house on fire if you met. I was going to bring her today, but well you can see what the weather's like. Don't really want to get the thing sick when it's like this.” Jason rambles idly, not really putting too much thought into what he's saying.

 He huffs and pauses for a second, “Actually speaking about last night, I had the fucking weirdest of dreams. And it wasn't just a weird pit nightmare like it usually is—”

 He's cut off as a swarm of black ladybirds converge around the cemetery. On autopilot, Jason stumbles to his feet and backs away from her grave, eyeing the swarm with calculative apprehension.

 As he does that, the swarm sweep over her grave before dissipating into the sky.

 Jason holds his breath, waiting to see what the ladybirds did.

 A minute passes in silence, and just as he's about to step closer, a muffled and sickening scream emanates from beneath the grave. Fragments of last night's dream rise to the forefront of Jason's mind. “Fuck!”

 He throws himself forwards and starts desperately digging into the mud with his hands. “Come on, come on, come on…” Each second passes as slow as molasses but eventually, the mud starts to gradually give way underneath him.

 A grasping hand breaches the surface and starts frantically clawing at the ground. A wave of nausea hits Jason like a brick wall. He hesitates for a split second before fixating on digging up the mud around the hand. With each scoop of mud dug away, the hole around the hand starts to widen and widen until a second hand breaches the surface. With increased desperation, Jason continues to dig and dig and dig.

 After another couple of minutes digging, the hole's big enough that Jason can see the coffin shards and ripped scraps of clothing among the mud. He grabs at the arms and pulls with everything he has but the resistance is nearly equal.

 Gritting his teeth, he continues to pull until the resistance against him suddenly weakens and he stumbles back, dragging the cor—body of Marinette out of the grave.

 Jason let's go of her after a second and drinks in the sight of her, alive and breathing. Under his breath, he whispers, “Mari…”

 Frankly, she looks awful. Skin pallid, eyes bloodshot and glassy, freckles faded, hair dull, hands bloody. Her clothes are ripped, muddied, and bloodied. Earthworms, as well as other underground creepy crawlies, fall off her.

 Her eyes manage to focus on him for a second but almost immediately after, her eyes roll back and she collapses, unconscious.

 Jason rushes forwards and grabs her, to stop her from hitting the ground. Dazed, he fumbles for his phone and calls Bruce. “Marinette's alive.” He immediately blurts out, “She fucking dug herself out the fucking grave and she's unconscious and injured.” It takes all his willpower not to choke on his words.

 “We'll ready the medbay. Tim will pick you, he'll be there in five.”

-<◊>-

| Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed this little oneshot! Comments, likes, and reblogs are much appreciated! |

| @maribat-march2020 | | @vixen-uchiha |