#i guess i couldve just not said anything but i don't want people thinking i'm a misogynist :/

[firestorm09890]

probably deleting this later and it's not like anyone following me actually gives a shit but most of the characters I grow obsessed with end up being men because the archetype and character traits I'm obsessed with are more often than not applied to men in the fiction that ends up infecting my brain, and not because I. hate women. sometimes you can rightly say people unfairly make up backstories and shit for underdeveloped male characters and ignore the underdeveloped female characters but I promise it has nothing to do with internalized misogyny for me, it's just me chasing after whichever character fits my favored description the most, even if it's grains of sand I have to work with. genuinely if you know of media with women who are.... hm... idk if I can describe this. cold, competent, and rational and are care way too much about the rules and have a deeply fucked up relationship with an authority figure in their lives that heavily affects their actions PLEASE let me know so I can read/watch it

[kittykov]

Hello, I'm addressing the situation here as I did on Twitter but going a little more in depth since I have more space :)

My intent was not to hurt anyone while making this au, I should've done more research on the procedure itself and honestly I shouldn't have made the au at all! I regret doing it and now I am learning from my actions which I am ok with I think that I deserve the backlash for what I did, although I wish people wouldn't DOXX me I guess it cannot be helped.

As for the reference I used for the one art, at the time I was a little intoxicated (not saying this excuses what I did) , I didn't exactly see anything wrong with doing that since the picture was already on the internet for everyone to see but! I know now not to do that it is very disrespectful to the people who actually suffered through the procedure and I shouldve thought before acting. I didn't have any intent on mocking or making fun of the people who were hurt :(

"Romanticing Lobotomies" : THIS was NOT what I was trying to do. There is nothing okay about what I made Betty do to Simon. There is nothing "HOT" about it. It is supposed to be disgusting, the way she treated him is supposed to turn your stomach. Like someone said previously they mentioned "Killing Stalking" which was a horror book that I was VERY obsessed with a while ago and it made me want to make something of my own. Due to my hyperfixation of Fionna and Cake I decided to make it an au... In that book there are dark themes having to do with codependent relationships and there is murder and SO much more. I wanted to make something that was just as bad as that since there is NOTHING (at least I cant find anything) like Killing Stalking. Just because there are toxic relationships in the horror genre does not mean you're romanticing whatever is going on, was the creator of KS romanticing abuse and murder?? No. I KNOW the au could have been depicted better, there couldve been better words to use on the art but once again I cannot take back the things I did once they're already done.

Please think about other people first before doing things (I know this is kind of hypocritical :( but I should've done this too) I know I've hurt all of you with my art but this is hurting me too very badly and two wrongs in a situation like this doesn't make a right. I wish that some of you could be more reasonable and realize that im a human too, but I understand you want me to learn from my actions. Although SOME of you are actually wishing literal death upon me which is NOT good for my brain which leaves me to my last statement.

I am leaving the internet for a while. I am discarding the au completely, I don't want anyone to make any fanart and I don't want it to be mentioned to me again. I apologize to everyone I've hurt and I hope you can all understand.. I'm not very good at apologies but I tried super hard on this one, I just don't want anyone to see me as an awful person although that's something I can't control :(

Goodbye! Thank you to everyone who supported me and was kind to me! I love you guys, Ill be back sometime.

[angryborzois]

@astral-from-afar since u wanted to hear my story lmao (it was kinda long to be a comment)

alright idk where to begin lmfao

okay so i dont remember how much of it I told you but remember the clingy girl who was insensitive and stuff last year? (ok its okay if you don't remember but yeah there was a girl like that jasdffkd)

she's one of the people i remember and get annoyed about to this day but okay that's still not that bad since I managed to drift from her

so the real problem was this other clingy girl 😭YES THERE WERE TWO

i guess she was less clingy and a little more tolerable but still... the problem here was that this girl liked me.....

there were a lot of reasons that make me pissed off remembering to this day but that's sort of unrelated here (for context just know that I disliked her from the near beginning) so onto the main story

So this girl would always ask for hugs from me which I was okay with at first (she did it to everyone ig) but eventually I stopped letting her hug me because I got tired of it and I don't really like hugs to begin with.

but still, she was weird about physical touch...i remember this one time where she kept touching my arm when I was wearing a short sleeve and she was saying stuff like "wow you're so muscular" (IM NOT BTW??? LIKE BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY IM AVERAGE ASF) like okay that was creepy ngl.... i still didn't think anything of it back then though which was stupid of me because I should've connected all the dots

also she kept complimenting me all the time which was mildly uncomfortable but yeah couldn't do anything about that ig

eventually i started hanging out with other people and avoided this girl to the best of my ability until the end of the year because by that time I was thinking "oh whatever I'm going to transfer anyways" so i stopped caring since i thought it would be over soon

yeah so on the last day she was VERY clingy since she knew I would transfer (I did let her though since I was thinking "oh its the last day and I'm never coming back so whatever. cant be that bad. ill forget about it later" and honestly that was a big mistake)

so school hours officially ends and we're at the gate of the school. and this girl physically WONT LET ME LEAVE. she was hugging me and refusing to let go but at that point I was like "oh who cares ig". she probably made me stand there for like 10 minutes istfg 💀but then here comes the terrifying part

she suddenly lets go and looks me dead in the eyes and asks for me to kiss her on the cheek (I think? i kind of forgot the exact phrasing by now). i gave her a weird stare (more like a horrified stare cause wtf.) and she just looked away in embarrassment and went back to hugging me and by this time I was like "oh hell no get me out of here". maybe a minute later she suddenly kisses me on the head and leaves

LIKE OKAY WHAT...

THAT WAS AT THE FRONT GATE. PEOPLE SAW. i wanted to disappear and never come back...like i dont know if she had the wrong idea that i liked her back but what the fuck......it was just so unnecessary....

for the rest of the day i did not feel well about this ☠☠☠

anyways remembering that still annoys me to this day like okay maybe if i had been an asshole and said no to her last hug i couldve prevented that

thankfully the people in my new school are actually sane like holy shit what kind of a traumatizing school did i accidentally enroll in for a year

havent met anyone clingy ever since but I'm never intending on letting anybody hug me ever again unless I trust them

tldr: my old school was borderline traumatizing

[bubsub69]

Entry 8

28/05/2023 15:49

I'm trying to move on from her but it's really hard, i messaged some people but even on the first one i was shaking over the send button, because i don't want to move on, i want to wait for her to reply, i want to be with her, no matter how hard she ghosts me, but yeah i still sent some messages, 3 from reddit and 2 on chaster, no replies yet but its not really looking great

its so frustrating to browse through chaster as well, i was looking for some locks with interactions and theres so many people there that are findoms, fucking hate that shit, just want to have an actual relationship not talking to someone that treats this as her job, but considering the ratio of sub guys and dom women its kind of inevitable, just browsing through personal subreddits that shit becomes so clear, a shit ton of M4F posts with no upvotes and the few F4M ones all have at least a couple of upvotes, which is also what made me really like her in the first place, she picked my shitty 6 line introduction over the 10 paragraph essays of the charming princes, maybe she liked how im a person of few words or just how even in introductory text im a shy mess, but i guess after meeting me she changed her mind..

Still waiting for her to start a conversation, literally anything even just a hi just showing that she cares about me but i guess thats asking too much, conversation hasnt progressed after she said she was moving and her twitter still doesnt have anything besides her first tweet so i cant stalk her from there either. I guess i just have to be patient and wait for one of the messages i sent yesterday to get a reply of something os just keep trying to find someone else, but im so tired of waiting, i keep telling myself to be patient but im sick of being patient, yesterday was the 1 month aniversary of talking with her and im still only have 1 video call with her and this marks one week of not talking to her at all, i dont even know how to start a conversation with her anymore, i cant ask her if she found a house it obviously doesnt take a fucking week even if she is squatting at an ex's house, and now that i think of it how does she have an ex in portugal, did she seriously already date and breakup with someone in her time in portugal? i guess she was here for a bit before she permanently moved here, i probably couldve asked her about that but asking that a week later is weird. back to the waiting and patience i guess, my favourite.

Since im in a this marks x mood this was also the biggest interval where i didnt write in here and i kinda know why. For some time i thought i got the sadness™ from post nut clarity but during chastity i constantly had the sadness™ and was fine for a bit after the cage broke and i gave up, (speaking off i tried glueing it but it broke again.. twice so rip to the ring i guess) but this i was busy with the security project and hanging out with people helped me to not be a sad fuck, i laughed and cracked some jokes, you know being a normal human being, but it just goes to show, its like all those greentexts say, having a girlfriend wont solve all your problems, and in my case its having friends but i guess im too much of a useless fuck to get those either unless its in a work context.

[fuck-customers]

Why are customers so fucking stupid, it's like they've never been out in public before? Had this dumb as hell exchange at work.

C: I want one hot chocolate,

Me: Small, medium or large?

C: Uh small, and another hot chocolate

Me: ....

Me: Okay... Size?

C: Oh, small.

Me: Anything else?

C: And one cappuccino.

Me: ....

C: ....

Me: ......

C: And I'll also get-

Me: Size.

C: another small, and add a latte.

Me: *literally holding back the urge to slam my face through my register* W H A T S I Z E?

C: Large I guess

-

The worst part was, she acted so fucking indigent every time I asked her what size she wanted her drinks to be. I understand maybe not getting it the first time (though I still think people who don't realise they have to give us drink sizes so we can start their order are fucking morons) but how is it you still don't understand that's how this works by the FOURTH GODDAMN TIME? If she had wanted them all the same size she couldve said "these will all be small" but NO. I'm just convinced there's nothing between her ears but cobwebs and dust.

If you're ordering drinks from any places that have multiple sizes for the love of god TELL US THE SIZE FIRST. A lot of registers won't let you input drinks or specifications until you've selected a size.

And if you don't do that and instead just prattle off 5 drinks, know that we hate you.

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom season 2, episode 17-20 thoughts! finishing up season two! the finale is the THIRD 2-PARTER OF SEASON 2. that's so many! I wonder how many season 3 will have?

see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3

-UERGH WHY DOES VLAD HAVE AN AI WITH MADDIE'S FACE ON IT. SOOO CREEPY. AND MORE 'CREATIONS' waiiiit. vlad is Dr. Frankenstein! (despite his ghost design obviously referencing vampires) HE HAS 'CREATIONS' HE MAKES THEN WONT TAKE REAL RESPONSIBILITY FOR!!! this bitch.

-danny was late and his friends immediately start going off about how hes inconsiderate, and has been treating them like sidekicks??? he just overslept, my god. chill. even if he has, be nicer about talking about it with him?? he really can't help that he sometimes has to chase the ghosts, or has a secret identity to protect...

-'what kind of ghost haunts a miniature golf course' umm. me as a ghost. next question

-imagine going home and theres a tiny child on your bed claiming to be your cousin. with as many cousins I have, I would probably believe her. but the 'ran away from home' BIT....SHES 12?? SHES SO TINY. I hate that they have her belly out in her ghost form, but I like how her colors are asymmetrical. something about her design...maybe the proportions?? are weird to me...anyway danny was good to feed her, but he shouldve taken her to his parents FIRST. or, tbh, probably jazz. (JAZZ DIDNT EVEN GET TO MEET HER!!! NOOO. I mean she said she'll be BACK BUT STILL)

-ANYWAY. shes voiced by AnnaSophia Robb, the girl who was in because of winn dixie, played as violet from charlie and the chocolate factory, and was the girl from bridge to terrabithia. (the movie that made me cry hysterically when I was 12 and I never watched it again because it Broke Me!) thats super cool.

-vlad sucks: the episode, basically. what's new!! I love how he's like, I'm Not A Villain. *immediately cuts to him torturing danny to make him transform, to get mid-transformation DNA, to perfect a Clone.* *immediately shows that he doesnt give a shit about his new daughter Dani and just wants a ''more perfect clone'' and will put her in danger to get that. will let her DIE to get that*

-Dani is danny's clone and is a girl? transgenderism....one of them has to be trans. or they both are.

-dani just. leaving at the end. WHAT? SHES 12. DONT JUST. NO!!! SHE WAS PROBABLY JUST BORN, A MONTH AGO AT MOST, RIGHT?? SHE NEEDS...SOMEWHERE TO LIVE. MONEY? FOOD?? A FAMILY?? AN EDUCATION???! WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE'S LEAVING!!! OKAY BYE I GUESS!!! D: concern!!!

-the next ep opens with skulker chasing a ghost down. ...does skulker count as a ghost hunter in the way valerie and danny do? I mean, sure, he hunts the good guys too, but he. he hunts ghosts...also, we haven't seen his Real Form since his debut episode! tiny...

-the guys in white are back! ngl, I assumed they were a gag for that one episode. you're telling me they might actually be a threat? ok.

-valerie in her lil nasty burger uniform looks so cute!! glad shes not in that mascot uniform this time. I guess she stopped hiding that she's working there now?

-gregor having white hair, dressed in black and white...and green eyes...sam has a Type, I guess.

-danny being unnecessarily hostile about gregor. danny!!! hes been nice so far. he looks a little...tall to be 14, but. danny doesnt know anything about him! (he does Suspect, but...you cant just spy on people and be rude to them from a hunch.) also, gregor kissed her, and when she freaked out, he was like 'oh no!! sorry, we can take it slow! I understand!' which was NICE. I hate jealousy plots still tho.

-altho. umm. tucker, being concerned about danny spying on them??? SAM AND YOU WERE SPYING ON DANNY AND VALERIE A FEW EPISODES AGO!!!!! im not saying its RIGHT, but dont be a hypocrite!!! AND THEN SAM BEING MAD ABOUT IT, TOO.

-DANNY IS A 7 ON THE SCALE OF ECTOPLASMIC POWER!!! out of 10? so I want to know where the other ghosts rank...I mean it's a list from the guys in white, so, it may not even be accurate, like, they havent seen ALL of his powers, have they?

-Lancer being like 'im not cooperating with the FEDS' until they said they could access his tax records. they already did that joke with jack, but like, its still funny. kings of tax evasion.

-tucker's aggressive third-wheeling. but gregor being super into it. gregor/tucker is the real ship here. then gregor kissing danny on both cheeks after hugging him. bi poly king gregor. (he does turn out to be a liar with a phoney accent. unsurprising, BUT THE CONCEPT OF HIM BEING GENUINE AND THEM ALL DATING IS FUN)

-THE...GUYS IN WHITE THINKING GREGOR IS DANNY PHANTOM. LMAOOO. GET HIS ASS. or,, Elliot. lmfao

-sam saying tucker is part of the package because theyre friends was super sweet <3 but also 'part of the package'...polyships are obviously the solution to these dumb jealousy/love triangle plots.

-danny crashed a whole plane. the collateral damage...

-is he....

-you know....

.... (ITS NOT GAY IF YOU'RE DOING IT TO PRETEND TO BE SOMEONE YOU'RE NOT, AND LIE TO A GIRL. RIGHT? he was getting a little too into pretending to enjoy tucker's company, and the above...c'mon, guy.)

-lmao, freakshow is in actual prison. I didn't expect a follow up, or for him to show back up! in the finale of this season, too!

-THE SICK TATTOO GHOST IS NAMED LYDIA!!! more Lore On her. freakshow seemed genuinely concerned about her. also, is she mute? I don't think she talked the first time we saw her, either. and we didn't know freakshow 'envied' ghosts, either, the first time, we just knew he was controlling them. interesting!

-...they literally stole the infinity gauntlet from marvel and called it the reality gauntlet. is that legal. what the fuck. even with the gems in the lil slots, having different powers...they had freakshow in jail, but didnt check his pockets??! hes just still in his lil outfit??? what kind of ...oh, its in amity park. yeah, all of the adults are idiots, okay, sure.

-'freakshow!' 'in the anemic flesh!' dude take some iron pills then. also, sure, the red eyes could be contacts for his aesthetic, but the whites of his eyes are yellow! does he have jaundice?! he severely needs more...like, every kind of vitamin. (this is what im worried about as freakshow attacks danny with giant robots)

-again, goth circus is a sick theme, and I love his goth train.

-oh FUCK every single person saw danny transform. on a stage. including his parents via TV. oh god. the guys in white and immediately like 'youre coming in for experiments!' SCARY. at least the crowd is willing to help him to escape...perks of now being a local celeb! even the kids at school are accepting :) this is what, the third time his family has found out? its always been an alt timeline tho. and danny fully intending to just rewrite things again instead of...I dunno, trying to roll with it this time? hes really worried his family won't accept him, huh...

-'maybe our son IS THE GHOST BOY, but its not as if our family's ghostly activities have EVER PUT YOUR FAMILIES IN DANGER' maddie. mmmmmmmmmmmm. okay.

-danny 100% prepared to run away from home because of this :( oh :( and saying his parents are 'looking for him, or a scalpel to dissect him with' ouch...

-THE GUYS IN WHITE TRYING TO ARREST A 14 YEAR OLD. fuck da feds.

-side note (another one about voice actors...) freakshow's voice actor, Jon Cryer, was lex luthor in pretty much every DC tv show, which is why I recognized his voice, because my dad loves those shows so I've seen a good bit of them without seeking them out...)

-the old man saying 'hey, i still had minutes left!' and danny saying 'you gotta watch those roaming charges!' about danny destroying the people in the diner's phones so no one could report seeing him...would kids today understand these things. can you even BUY minutes anymore...I remember my first phone being a flip phone, and the fact I always had minutes when my sister ran out super fast, because I didnt have friends calling or texting me like she did...:/

-the fentons being genuinely like 'why didnt danny trust us and tell us this, we love him :(' and JAZZ LAYING INTO THEM WITH THE 'DISSECTION/MOLECULE BY MOLECULE' LINES. LITERALLLLY. they need to apologize

-technically, lydias stronger than you! -jazz lesbianism moments! when did you even learn her name!!! but also get freakshows ass. lydia is also cooler looking. looove her design sm still.

-jazz psychoanalyzing freakshow... (also, her also having ghost envy? au where jazz is a ghost!! id like to see it)

-im glad the kids still got to go to their respective vacation things, even if they cant really stick around and enjoy them much...

-furry: confirmed. (also tucker calling her hot. tucker is a furry confirmed)

-danny being mad someone at the comic con is selling comics of him without permission, lmfao. give him his royalties!

-freakshow > thanos because hes a drama clown and does use his gauntlet to be FLASHY AND DRAMATIC.

-jazz's 'USE PYSCOLOGY' to danny about freakshow LMAOO. AND THEN IT WORKING. but, oh, freakshow's ghost form sucks. I like him as a clown better tbh. good thing danny took away his ghost powers!

-his parents hugging him and saying theyre proud :"( and saying 'of course you lied to us, we never gave you a reason not to!' and saying they were in the wrong basically for always talking about hurting ghosts aaaa :""(

-then he WIPED THEIR MEMORIES AGAIN!!! FUCK. I can understand him wiping the goverments/student bodies' memories, but why his parents?? they were being accepting!! ARGHHH. season 3 couldve been them all trying to adjust to them knowing!

-I know, on a meta level the showrunners probably wanted to just reset things to the status quo of him having a secret identity. But. We've been doing that for (2) seasons, I'd love if season 3 could be like, his parents adjusting to this and trying way harder to learn more and accept it (and the shenanigans that could come from that) and for fun, if he didn't wipe the students memories, it could be him being popular for a while, then everyone slowly realizing, oh, he's still Danny. Like. he might have ghost powers but hes Just The Same Guy instead of putting him on a pedestal (and seeing them all try and help him hide it from the giw/people who don't know!!)

-fuck they didn't even explain WHY he wiped everyone except sam, tucker and jazz's memories. he just Did It right when his parents were saying they loved/accepted him!! and sam and tucker didnt question it at all!!! HELLO??? very annoyed about this turn of events.

-anyway. onto season 3! I know its shorter than the first two seasons, and is the last season... I might just do it in 2 bursts if I can... :3c depends on the episodes' content and how much I want to say about each!

[shiro-0197]

Oh I see!! I'll make note of that, then! So I can wish you good luck for school <3 you'll be in a new grade when you start, right? and AAAAH thank you!! We will have online classes off and on, but when we actually go to school (physically) we will have exams right off the bat (ugh).

oh wow the coincidence is so cool!! Yes, the more food the better, tho some are coastal states so they have mostly seafood ._.

it really is, and you have to be very thorough with it or you might make a mistake :( I'm glad!! You should do what you enjoy, and freelancing is definitely much easier and less stressful xx

omigosh bae aaah you're so cute. No one is going to think you're uncool, don't worry. And I'm sure they'll get it in the first time you teach, you seem to be a very gentle person and I think that's one of the main characteristics of being a teacher. Tho yes I can understand getting frustrated after the second time. I'm actually the least patient person I know, so I relate to what you've said a lot skhdskks. I guess it's an ENTP thing 😔

I'd low-key just be a koala bear or something :> I know right!!

Icouldn't find it, ugshshshhhhh :(((

Awww. Okay, playful hitting is cute. I don't do it at all, but my friends do, whenever I flirt with them 😭😭 I think they're just flustered 😼

Oh God yes. I hate my braces but I'm glad they're coming out soon. And then I'll be able to eat anything I want. What is one food you don't think you'll be able to live without, btw? (BESIDES CHEESE, SIR).

oh Turkish delights are WONDERFUL. I've also only tried it once. Your school seems to have such wonderful food! And wow I just googled maklube, and it looks so good?? Rice and meat are low-key the perfect combo 😭😭💖 (and the name is so cute?? It means upside down, right?)

oooh omg I'd totally read an article like that. Make sure you add "catboy supremacy" at the end 😹😹😹

yessss I love She-Ra! They're all actually remakes from old TV shows my parents watched when they were younger, and now Netflix remakes them with amazing graphics!! I also love Voltron (it's actually my favourite), and I was really into it before my anime phase as well xD I hope you're able to watch them sometime! What were you into, before anime?

And oh, love! How was your day? Mine was okay. I woke up really early and studied (and kinda burnt myself out) so I slept for an hour after studying for five. And then I had another meeting, and I watched an episode of money heist xD this may be off topic, but my Leo club is collaborating with three others from different schools and we're doing a project together! It's kinda like a tutor thingy, and there's 8 tutors who'll have 1 and a half hour slots to teach their specific subjects. I'm a tutor too, and my subject's English, so I'm really excited. I hope I'll be able to teach well, so lol, fingers crossed xD

I love you btw!! Like so so so very much. You make me smile. Let me be cheesy here, BUT THANKS FOR BEING MY SNOWMATE 😼☃️

—✨ARIANA

Hello!! Not really, this is just a small break, hehe. I'm in the last grade actually, and I'll be out of school in 25th of May~ Awhh that sucks😭 They have no chill, huh? Couldve at least given a revision day or something

Ouch😔 it's always the small things that ruin it all😭

Yeah, you're right!!! Though I'm afraid I might not make enough money for a living 💔 I'll try my best though!! Cant live without failing eh?

Ahh I really hope so~ still kind of worried. Because, you know, people are different? And I dont really wanna make them think bad of me XD I wonder if theres tutoring on how to teach someone. Thatd be useful

Koalas are so cute though🥺🥺 just like you😭

Nanwndnnwnd💔😩 dont worry, I'm sure itll float up when you least expect it hehe

Heheh, I also flirt with my friends and I remember one time one of them just headbutted me😩😭😭😭😭

Hmm~ I dont even know, probably noodles. Extra spicy instant noodles<3 or homemade noodles. Any noodle is a fine noodle😭 I love them a lot, not as much as Kuro though. He's literally that vine where a guy cries over spilled spaghetti.

Yes yes yes!!!! We absolutely adore those, and if we dont have one during teatime some people just refuse to come along xD they're still forced to lmao,,, I really hope you can try them again soon!! I'm not really sure about the translation, I dont think it has one hehe, all I know is that they taste good 😝

I really feel like making a clickbait thumbnail for a video about that. I'll show you when I do😋

Ahhh I really need to catch up on old fandoms hehe~ before anime i was really into Steven Universe... and video games, like Undertale, FNaF, Sally Face, Fran Bow... all that 2015 stuff xD I also enjoyed watching gameplay videos, because as a broke baby child I couldn't afford a game or a PC. I also liked Camp Camp, hehe

Mine was pretty good!!! Yesterday nothing much happened, I went to eat out and watched some guys dance on the street. It was fun, hehe~

Huhh??? Noo you really should've rested:(( Well, I'm glad you had a nap though!! You deserve it<3

That sounds so cool!!! I really hope the meeting went well, how'd it go? Was it hard?

Our class also made a project, where we post in a group anonymously about something that we had learned. It sounds really nice, I'm not really gonna post anything but I'm looking forward to whatever my classmates come up with xD

I love you too!! Your messages always make me so happy🥺 Its really an honor to be your snowmate💞💕💞💕💞