#i guess i can call this background practice lmfao

[frostgnawdraws]

real footage of the sun stealing my ship every single time i go to the interloper. im sure there is a way to stop this from happening but i have simply accepted it as part of the experience

[abyssalpriest]

Hey! I saw your tags on my Poseidon post that it confirmed some things for you (@magnoliessence is my side blog hence anon) - I would love to hear more about that and your thoughts on/experience with Poseidon if you are open to discussing!💙🌊✨

Hey there, welcome! And thank you so much for your post, I would love to give thoughts! Boy would I love to never shut up about this entity lmfAO Though disclaimer, I want you and anyone else who reads this to know I'm not 100% sure I know Actual Poseidon so I am not claiming with certainty I work with him. Andddd this is going to be long for that reason - those reasons. I love talking about him but I do need to kind of set up a window into my view here so you can decide whether we're talking about the same entity or not 

To give you a background: I work chiefly with two deities, one of whom is not featured here and that's Hermes, the other would be the Possible Poseidon, but I mostly know him as Leviathan. Physically, I work with two other channellers and it's sort of a thing among us and Hermes (who works with and possesses all three of us alongside Leviathan) and the other spirits we work with including Demeter that Leviathan is Poseidon, though none of us really work with that name since he doesn't tend to present as Poseidon to us. At least not often. We have other forms/names of his more important to our practices, like Leviathan and Shiva. It's also not just Leviathan who says he's Poseidon; the Trinity of Leviathan, (brother), and (brother) all claim at least around us to be the Trimurti (Shiva, Indra/Brahma, Vishnu) as well as Poseidon, Zeus, Hades. So it's either true he is Poseidon or its a group effort lmao.

I am pretty damn sure though especially after seeing your post, not because I'm taking that as the sole informant to my opinion on him being or not being Poseidon, but because I have had a lot of evidence I have up until your post been ignoring, and that post made a lot of things click especially when I took it to Leviathan to be like "ok, damn, this is you?". I just am not able to be 100% sure because Ive had issues with spirits lying about who they are in the past

I say all that (that we work with him, i work wih a group, etc) specifically to highlight that while I put in the work and don't approve of seeing similar characteristics and saying "yep, these cross cultural deities are the same!" without actually putting in an effort to confirm through the deities themselves and multiple physical people I am.... VERY aware this is PVG and based on personal experiences with spirits, which means do not worry, I don't intend to convince you, your UPG and PVG are more important to your practice than mine. Maybe you and I are talking about the same entity, maybe not. But your post is the first time I've really started to actually understand what "I am Poseidon" might mean from Leviathan, because yeah, holy shit, everything on that is so bloody Leviathan and I don't think any of our group (again, we don't work with that name he's just told us so we dont really look into it) knew the name Poseidon was connected to those things. 

So yeah, I'll just talk about my experiences with Leviathan (and I'll call him Leviathan because whether he's Poseidon or not, he's Leviathan) that are relevant to the name Poseidon and that post you made, and you can decide for yourself if we're talking about the same entity or not. At worst, I guess you get to hear about a very similar entity, maybe that will be interesting. Lemme pop this under read more just to save my followers dashboards

Leviathan is an incredibly complex person, but at the core of his being he connects to the water cycles, the sky and ocean, the weather, the sun, the underworld as one of its rulers (or one of the rulers of one plane of the underworld), and has a complex relationship with humanity as one of its fathers. Oftentimes when he's around the three of us he makes it rain or otherwise changes the weather, he has a huge, encompassing presence that is often tied to water, watery depths, cold and dark - but not intimidating as a hollow dark night, he's comfortingly full and present and like the safe embrace of the water. That, I understood to relate to Poseidon. Leviathan is very oceanic, an ancient and wise deific being that's been around humans for a long time... Before your post what I understood of the god Poseidon was his connection to the ocean especially as his symbolic wife due to how Leviathan interacts with the ocean, his connection to horses which echoes in other names he's mentioned being him, and his part in the trinity of Hades, Zeus, Poseidon. Oh, and his trident. The trident is an important symbol of power and of the trinity of Leviathan + brothers and is used publicly as a symbol on their plane in the underworld, so that was also something I saw as relevant. You also see the trident as their symbol with the Trimurti in hinduism and in the stereotypical scapegoat of the Devil and probably other places too, its a big royal family trinity thing. That's pretty much all I knew though since as I said Leviathan didn't really work with us through that energy and name. The "I am Poseidon" thing already made sense given the impressions I get from those working explictly with the god Poseidon, he seems very stern and serious and fatherly, the ocean personified almost as a self-contained and private but hugely powerful thing... That made sense to me.

The ocean as his wife thing, that also made sense and to clarify what I meant by that - the Leviathan exists in many places at the same time, hes just a huge, encompassing father deity who can expend that sort of energy and divide his extensive awareness into multiple parts. He spends a lot of his time partly swimming in deep space which he equates to the depths of the ocean, and specifically he blurs with reality so much that it is like swimming in the ocean and being the ocean at the same time. The "ocean" he is in is so close to being his literal other half, actually I would say with how interconnected with reality he gets it literally is his other half, in the way of two halves of a persons body moving as one - but to humans the best metaphor probably would be he moves with and as the ocean like he and her are a couple who are so in tune with each other they move as a cohesive unit that can separate and reconnect at will. Leviathan moves the world around him like Poseidon and his waters. Leviathan does have multiple actual wives though so Amphitrite may be one of their names, but it definitely would check out symbolically. Actually, just googled her to make sure I was right about her being interpreted as the ocean (she is to some) - theres mountains being referened again... Ill get to his connection with those later.

Horses also made sense, they're core to Levithan's being, one of his sacred animals among other things like wolves, hawks/birds, bears, fish, etc. They're used in war which he is deeply tied to, they're a pinnacle of something core to him which is a relationship between animals/animal forms and the being, especially in regards to taking animal forms and becoming them in order to get things done since when riding horses you and the horse must become one. They're tied deeply to one of his chief homes here on Earth and the people there who associate him with them. I've been reconnecting with my link to the Sky through him and the Storm Mother, who is an entity closely tied to and close with Leviathan, and I remember it keeps coming up with them that I see the sky as shown by them as this amalgamation of horses almost like Sleipnir with the many legs, but with many heads, legs, etc. I can't explain this quickly without sacrficing a tonne of context, but effectively Leviathan teaches that the sky is inhabited by a bunch of bodies moving together in complex ways that create the weather system and whatnot, and while I don't understand them well this lifetime I know very well that Leviathan and Zeus possess these bodies to bring in storms and rain and such. It's a lot like working with and riding horses, is what I'm saying. In my workings with Leviathan the sky and the ocean are one, mirrored selves, and so I absolutely understand the idea of Poseidon and his horses tying not just to the fact that he literally rides horses, but also to the ocean (and the sky) as his horses... His mind is filled with horses and what they represent to him.

But here's the thing: While I knew Leviathan was connected with the ocean, I and our group so much more saw him as the rain and the rivers and the water cycle in general. Its something that pops up in the name Shiva; before I knew he was Shiva I knew of Leviathan with rainwater pouring from his hair, and I later came to find out that the Ganges river is supposed to be coming from his head and hair... He's always shown me that hair = personal power and energy, so to him the water cycle and bestowing and removing water from places is core to his being. Hell, I even have a character representing him called "River" lmfAO  He's also associated with mountains both in PVG and also as Shiva. Shiva lives in a mountain, mountains are where the earth touches the sky, theyre also the sources of many rivers, they dance with the sky without moving. They're the imagery of his asceticsm, his knowledge, his removal yet presence in humanity, of him as a tall and watchful father, and of his teachings as hard to surmount and challenging but open to anyone to try and climb. One of the first visions I had of him was something like his body (giant and bigger than mountains) being pierced by swords and drained and draped over a mountain in order to feed the earth, a commentary on the relationship between mountains and the sky - clouds are torn down at mountains to feed the earth. That vision may have been from Zeus given some of the commentary on Poseidon in it lines up with how Zeus sees Poseidon... But the brothers have known each other longer than our plane has existed, so its not like the bit I explained of the mountain thing was inaccurate

And that I think ties into the relationship you pointed out with Demeter and Poseidon if I'm understading right. He talks a lot about Mother Earth, in a lot of his names and just as a person he's tied very romantically to the Earth as an archetypal goddess figure, the idea of Mother Earth as his other half (as a partner as opposed to the literal other half of the ocean) and a partner with which he dances, loves, entangles himself, is constantly reoccurring in his work with our group. Even when he doesn't mean to explicitly talk about the Earth he does and in such a loving, vital way, the way an enamoured husband would talk about his wife... Point being, the metaphor of water and earth, Sky and Earth, ocean and land, rivers and valleys, plants and weather, etc, is absolutely fundamental to Leviathan's entire existence. He sees himself as a Sky Father deity, which is something that makes sense in the other names I know from him, but Poseidon always seemed (in my willful ignorance, I hadnt had a reason to look into Poseidon) to be so tied to the ocean which seems to, by nature as its the part of the water cycle that is, detached from the earth. The ocean is the water that cannot meld with the earth, it is filled with salt...

Idk I think with the myth you posted... This is just my own interpretation, but "the ocean, salty and derimental to earth-bound life, is not wanted by Mother Earth. If they met and mated it would not be wanted by her, it would cause so much destruction to life out of the ocean. In order for life to continue and for this union to happen, the Sky Father needs to not just take a form that is congruent with the Earth Mother's workings (she takes a form that he can match, plants merge with water to form life, not rocks or dirt), but also he takes the form that is representative of (Poseidon)'s connection to the Sky like the horses in the sky and then representative of his land-bound an land-traversing form, which is specifially horses. It probably doesnt go well given how harsh weather, associated with the raging sleipnir-esque horses I mentioned earlier, can ravage the land - what she needs like plants do is to be gently steeped in the water from the rain in order to properly foster new life. She gets it, she gets the harshness of the sky, and then steeps in the water of the right manifestation of the Sky Father, the right part of the water cycle as it finally settles in the land as a fixed body of water". It depends on how metaphorical the story is and allllll the context im missing, Im so sure that this myth is way more about the origins of that goddess than a metaphor for her parents, but it makes a lot of sense to me how its gotten across especially with the fact that horses are how he gets around when bound to the earth. It just like. Resonates. Not saying I actualy get the myth but it resonates. yeah thats the word Ill use

And speaking of "earthquakes (opening) fissures in the land, and rivers were sometimes thought of as the entrances to the underworld" - reminds me of something he was telling me the other day about "entering the underworld" (he says hell, but hell is a metaphor for states of suffering): "Who controls the doorway to Hell? The mind teeters on the brink of discovery. The adventurous humans fall into sleep, deep down, dense matter, condensing like rain droplets hanging tantalisingly above the thirsty desert, but they do not fall until the consciousness drops to a place it can be lapped up by the hound." It was metaphorical I know, but he never does things for no reason, and the vision in my head he showed me accompanying the words is so clearly of someone fallling asleep, and falling through their bed as it turns to clouds specifically in the sky as if the clouds are the gateway - and like all sky related things with Leviathan its inherently related to the ocean and water. Clouds are suspended bodies of water, and this isnt falling from the bed to the sky then through clouds, its clouds being the gateway, what the bed and plane dissolves into to become the gateway to the underworld. Oh! And later on in the same post lmfao he literally said "Climb the spires to the clouds, rewrite the center of your mass from dense rain, follow yourself back to the form of the river." as to how you ''get out of hell'', basically he was saying the process that happened with the clouds to get to hell, you reverse itto get out of hell, so the water cycle takes you there and back. alright damn!

Your connection to human waterworks too just bloody blows my mind, whether it was a thing or not in antiquity its just... I understand it makes sese that a water god rules over water displacement, but another thing he was telling me the other day: "The rain falls from the sky into the earth and arranges itself into ordered, purposeful motions, siphons, dances with molecules shifting the ground and being shifted by it. It moves through channels carved out by dense matter, mechanical roads through plantlife and organic bodies, hydraulic machines, watershed siphons, generator sparks through tributaries… (...) Machine is a thing between states, organically placed between alcoves in creation, parted waters and the small allowance of a river between." He was specifically in that post and in general to me talking about how the connection between earth and rain is comparable to that of a machine, specifically talking about how he relates the two. He associates himself and I associate him for very valid reasons lmfao with machinery and technology (reasons being his and his brothers involvement with the evolution of technology on his plane and overseeing it here), so he was explaining how it works in his mind that the water cycle is connected to machines. Its like... Waterworks are so.... Exactly what hes talking about. The Earth is a hydraulic machine and like aqueducts siphoning water from place to place - and he as the water cycle is like waterwork machinery, hes the drive and siphoning between water locations, the connection between earth and water is like machinery, etc. And as a conscious being he decides where it goes which means hes like a pupose built aqueduct or siphon or etc so much more than just the nebulous "where will water go we just dont know" - no, hes not nebulous, he's mechanical AND purposeful like humans building structures to control the course. Of course he very well may have been symbolically connected to and invoked for this stuff's physical applications.

"I see (...) a Majestic Stallion (...) the King of Rivers (...) a liminal god (...)  a Father of Mysteries whose teachings allow mortals to harness the awesome power of water and tread the flowing currents between our world and the underworld" That is so absolutely 100% a statement I would echo in its entirety about the god Leviathan. That's been basically my entire work with him. Horses, rivers... And very, very liminal. He is so close in nature and for personal reasons to the Void, the liminal space in-between everything, and presents as such... He's so in-between and outside the understanding of humans, but also so present. Liminal absolutely. And a Father of Mysteries... Most of the spirit work discussions (as opposed to all the casual conversations) we as a group have had with him have related to the unravelling and visceral presentation of core key secrets and mysteries of the world. Working with him is like having the viscera of the world served up on a platter in front of us cleaned and gleaming, his revelations do not hold back and contain views and information that unsettles and off-puts the biased, unready mind, like the vastness of the ocean off-puts the unequipped, but the secrets he reveals are not malicious, theyre an opportunity to transcend the boundaries between yourself and this world, yourself and your deeper self/mind, to destroy ignorance if you're willing to meet him halfway. If you prepare yourself and brave the ocean, you will find things you never dreamed you could find. If you know his arts, if you're initiated into his patronage, you will see things you never dreamed would be possible to understand nor experience. And a lot of what he teaches either is explicitly water and sky related or else its taught in ways that reference and use the water cycle as a baseline....

Yeah. That post just sounded so much like Leviathan Who Says He Is Poseidon and im... Goddamn! Ok! I know why I dont have any trust left for people telling me theyre this that and the other, my ex (a spirit officially banished from ever looking at me again) wiped the floor with all my willingness to meet him half way, but damn. Well, hi Poseidon! He has thrown a tonne my way about this being him, Hermes refers to him (occasionally, he has many names and pet names to cycle through Hermes' mind) as Poseidon, my channeller friends refer to him as Poseidon, hes been trying to prove it to me... Thank you so much @magnoliessence for your post because I think you really gave me an important key regarding him

[finsterhund]

I made my roommate watch Skinamarink last night and he didn't get it lol. He is the type to repeatedly ask questions during a movie often right before the movie explains the thing though so I guess that tracks.

I obviously agree with him about things like the pacing and how difficult it is to see things and how the sound mixing and inconsistent subtitles impair understanding and it holds on set pieces for too long. Like I've said before my obsession is rooted in how it made me think and feel and the kinship I had and the potentials it brought to the table. It's not something you really watch as fun entertainment lmfao

But he just couldn't understand how the kids reacted the way they did and that particularly got stuck in my brain.

We got into the discussion of how at that age his (very much unhealthy) birth mother was protective to the extreme and literally would not let him leave her side ever. I also don't think he was experiencing repeat physical abuse. Which of course contrasts starkly with how my mom would leave me alone for hours on end (or rather hours on end alone with my drug addict violent birth father.) So like I'm able to understand the kids being able to "autopilot" a bit despite being that young (knowing how to get cereal and juice and going about circadian rhythms and basic routines) and how they prioritize hiding and being quiet over breaking down and trying to call for help. But he can't. He was like "I wouldn't be that calm I'd be freaking out" while even at that age I knew there sometimes could be extreme consequences to small actions and it was normalized to just go along with things.

Which makes a ton of sense. Under normal circumstances young children should know they can rely on their parents. So their first instinct is to call out. To cry. Baby hominids are so helpless that's pretty much all super young humans can do is call upon an adult. Lumpy fleshy things with giant soft skulls, can barely walk, no teeth or claws. The skills at their disposal are eye contact, hold on tight with strong little grasping hand, and scream. And especially to children with overprotective parents the concept of being completely alone and without help is foreign and horrible and obviously the best solution is to cry out louder and louder until an adult arrives to fix everything. Because they have to come. That's a constant in life, isn't it? When have they not come? And they're never going to hurt you just for wanting help, right?

But for someone like me that was not the way it works. Early on I did though. In the time period shortly after mom took me back from my grandparents (so I was still used to being in their care) she'd intentionally ignore me while I called and as a result I tried over and over gradually louder. I'm on the spectrum by the way, and a trait I see thrown around about earliest signs of autism is that super young children tend to vocalize less and don't develop strong attachment so thay may show it was even more dire. Idk

This was also before my heart surgery so I was experiencing cyanosis and this may have hurt(? Truth be told the one thing I can't remember pretty much at all is the extent of how much it hurt to just exist. My memories don't really record "background pain" I can't even look back on something from a year ago and remember the "default" pain even though I know full well I was suffering from my chronic pain at the time. So idk)

Eventually of course I would learn to give up. With time she would had settled into her new job and was gone for hours on end at night. Essentially my birth father would largely stay in one room and be practically vegetative but really sensitive to light and sound (morphine I think) and it was advantageous to never give him reason to remember you're in the same house. Do not draw his attention and do not under any circumstances give him any "reason" to hurt you. That period of my life is in memories very vague and sparse and repressed and cloudy but what I do remember feels almost exactly like this movie. Lonely, having to make ones own entertainment and relying a lot on VHS tapes and cassettes and toys. All the while hoping the time bomb in the living room stays asleep in the lazy boy. There is constant fear and doom looming over your head. You feel that you are both being watched and over-percieced yet are isolated and abandoned and forgotten. Despite how distressing it is it's also very understimulating and very very boring.

I think this is essentially the vibe that the movie wanted to pull off with the two kids and the entity. That they by instinct knew to basically try to "grey rock" by not calling out or making attention of themselves. Even outright the entity admits that it "punished" the elder of the two for "not listening" and continuing to ask for her parents back.

Maybe it's reflective of how they may have been neglected or often left alone even before the entity showed up so they were used to the situation at first and it was a manner of boiling the frog(?) It's pretty directly implied the mom is out of the picture and it's only the dad by himself shown as being unable to prevent an accident because it happens to the kid in the one time he's preoccupied (although I think it's also implied the entity was responsible for Kevin "falling" down the stairs. Oh god that's another thing isn't it... again, I relate to this movie for a reason)

This pulls me down the line of thought about theoretically how quickly our "planet-wide dominant species of great ape that put all its evolution points into the hyper-socialized pack animal niche" infant can revert to "prey animal left alone in tall grass and its most characteristic attribute is for camouflage" infant when abandoned in a dangerous situation. Additionally makes me think about how there's a certain sound that fortunately very few people will ever have to hear that's specifically the vocalizations young children allegedly produce when experiencing severe life threatening things. A sound that is allegedly very difficult to differentiate from the death screams that rabbits make. A prey animal that for pretty much any other situation evolved to stay as silent as possible.

The child actors are very good at sounding distressed in this movie and there's some pretty upsetting moments but they never come close to that severity of distress. There's talented kid actors who's cries and screams of pain I've seen in movies that do sound genuine but I don't think this extreme is something that's even possible to ever be replicated in acting. I can't even say if I've ever heard/felt it despite my past. It's likely something that most would repress regardless.

The point being is that the way trauma works is that deep down past all the hopes and dreams and hobbies and interests a human is still an animal with the main goal of survival and keeping itself safe with instincts honed over millions of years for this purpose. And in order to ensure survival there is a ton of unconscious/involuntary things that this deep part of your brain will call upon as a last resort. It is often jarring and seen as a loss of childhood when a kid is driven to these extremes to survive. Things that are universally understood as the way children are and how they act and present themselves will cease to exist at this time. You have to adapt or you die. If you're unable to protect yourself and take care of yourself you die. And it's fucked up especially for us because of how noticable it is. Again, we evolved for hyper-specialized communication skills and family units. Baby braincases are so big that they can just barely be delivered at the time of birth. A child is seen as helpless and vulnerable and dependant on family so the fact that in serious situations they can be forced to essentially "devolve" into being more feral, less human, as a survival mechanism can be deeply distressing and emotionally damaging to acknowledge.

Maybe even in-universe humans had instincts to try and avoid predation by whatever the entity was and that's why the kids behaved that way. I would love a horror movie that really goes into exploring the concept of humans still having significant vestigial instincts and adaptations to avoid predation by a lost/extinct/supernatural creature or being that we long ago forgot about consciously.

This is probably one of the reasons I'm so drawn to this movie despite not liking this style of film, camera, pacing, etc. very much. It's so relatable to how I lived at those ages, the experiences I lived and what was a major part of my young existence. And then it makes a child-torturing interdimensional monster the cause of it all. Something otherworldly and new and under-researched. Alien. But intrinsically tied to how our species can think and feel. Literally so much for me to chew on here.

Hmmm speaking of, I wonder if there's for instance say... a video game... that does that sorta thing but about childhood fears and has a nyctophobia darkness entity that's trying to get its hands on the child protagonist who's afraid of the dark, a protagonist that is an extremely relatable character to me that I may absorb into my own personhood and identity as a means of coping with my own childhood trauma... Maybe the target demographic is children so it's not got a depressing outcome and has an easier to follow story. I bet I'd be fucking obsessed with this very hypothetical video game that totally isn't something that does in fact very much exist... 🤔

Aaaanyways, back on the subject of how there's different forms of child abuse/neglect growing up and how the themes in Skinamarink aren't necessarily going to be relatable to everyone out there with childhood trauma.

I see people on both camps in regards to public view of Skinamarink doing the (quite frankly unacceptable behavior. Stop it) thing where they either say "anyone who finds this movie scary obviously didn't really experience trauma growing up" or "the people who don't find this movie scary don't know what it's like to have childhood trauma"

Which (once you get past the fact that we really shouldn't be doing that to other trauma survivors. Please stop.) I think shows that a thing that may impact one's ability to empathize with the scenario in this movie being upsetting is tied not just to understanding what childhood trauma feels like but also a specific form of neglect abuse. The viewer's attachment style probably factors into it as well.

Also an obligatory preemptive response to the people who are going all "it's not about child abuse!!! Stop talking about child abuse. It's just a demon! Not that deep" I am aware that in its most literal interpretation that it's literally just an entity. It's just that the way it's presented the entity is also really good at serving as a metaphorical zeitgeist of childhood neglect my dude. It is literally a monster yeah, but shit doesn't exist in a vacuum and people draw on real world experiences and fears to make supernatural concepts click in people's brains. That's one of the pillars of horror. It's pretty much if childhood neglect was a monster. The themes the movie literally uses to produce the atmosphere are "being left alone to fend for one's self" as a toddler and "time blurring together."

I dunno. I guess that Skinamarink falls into the category of "borderline-pretentious boring art house film or something" so that's why there's so many varying qualities of "takes" surrounding it but sometimes things can really annoy me lmfao.

The people who gatekeep childhood trauma when talking about how other people feel about the movie is especially bothersome to me though. Because there's multiple forms of child abuse and neglect, all of which can cause lasting trauma and other psychological effects, and different people can have varying memories and triggers about it. And there are a lot of kids out there I'd imagine who were left by themselves and suffered neglect in a way that feels like the movie does. I know it's not just me because multiple people have mentioned this.

Watching the movie by myself again this time having found and downloaded what I think are the official closed captioning. With the captions it is a lot easier to follow the movie and tell what's going on. I can actually see that the movie does have a followable plot. And you could argue a three act structure as well if you stretch. So I take it back about how the movie didn't have a plot. Still think it would have benefited from being closer to traditional storytelling though. I appreciate how I'm picking up on blink and you miss it things on pretty much every rewatch and it can be interpreted into having deeper themes but I know a lot of people prefer something that's easy to follow, concise enough for one casual viewing, and has more entertainment factor. I'm in that camp too despite appreciating what it did do.

Also figured I would include it in this post. I have context as to why the movie went viral as "the scariest thing even, movie that is cursed and evil and haunted" reputation film and then disappointed a lot of people who went into it hyper out of their minds. This reputation stems from when it was stolen and uploaded without any context. So it randomly appeared online with no explanation and then people on the internet found this mysterious thing and it spread to the pretty much exclusively zoomers-with-unresolved-mental-issues TikTok community. With that context it may have felt like an ARG or something that wasn't meant to be found that should have had additional context that was missing. A creepypasta but the spooky lost media was actually real. Back when I was more impressionable being introduced to it that way would have fucked with me too.

God look at me rambling about stupid cartoon rabbit YTP entity movie. Fuck man. This thing has a stranglehold on my brain.

[miekasa]

do you have any cute (or h-word) bf headcanons for the Aot boys mie?

Of course I do, I have an ever-expanding list of headcanons for all of them, from how they react to you sitting in the backseat when they pick you up, down to whether or not they would rip your bandages off after your get a shot (spoiler: Eren, Porco, and Levi fucking would)

EREN sfw

He really likes holding hands, though it’s more of a calming habit for him. Holding hands keeps him grounded, and acts as an anchor for his anxiety; so he’ll grab and/or fidget with yours periodically.

He’ll steal your skincare if he’s over at your place, but honestly he just starts… copying it lmfao. Like, he’ll take notice of your face wash when he’s over he’s like “Oh, this is nice” and then a week later, he buys a bottle for himself. Then he buys your toner, and your moisturizer, and you stay over at his place and gotta do a double take bc he’s got damn near the same of everything at this point.

He doesn’t know if he believes that classical music actually helps him to concentrate, but he does know that he’s grown to like it, so it’s become his studying music of choice. He’s got favorite composers and everything.

He’d be upset if you didn’t steal his hoodies. That’s what they’re there for. He’ll make you steal them if he has to.

He hates standing in line. For anything. If he likes a restaurant that gets super busy at lunch, he’ll order ahead for pickup (and he feels special skipping the line). At amusement parks, he pays for the fast passes. If it’s shopping, then he’d rather just do it online.

On that note, he sucks at returning things that don’t fit/he doesn’t like when he shops online, so he honestly just keeps them, or gives them to his friends—it’s much easier than going through the hassle of printing a return label, according to him.

nsfw

He likes the idea of recording you guys during sex, but he’s honestly a little too nervous to do it—nervous about being recorded himself, and about it potentially getting out somewhere.

Likes it when you look him in the eyes when you cum. In fact, he somewhat demands it.

Similarly, he’s always watching you during sex. Mostly your face, for indications of how he’s making you feel and when you’re close to your orgasm (which is why he’s got a thing for you looking at him).

He used to hate masturbating, until he tried masturbating to the idea of you, and now he fucking loves that. He takes his time with it too—if he’s gonna jack off, he’s gonna make a moment of it: sit on his bed, turn the lights off, make sure he’s all alone and can go for as long as he wants.

Threesomes are fine with him, and he doesn’t even have to be the sole one in charge, depending on who’s joining you.

ARMIN sfw

He air-dries the majority of his clothes because he doesn’t want his sweaters and knitwear to shrink. Also, he likes the smell of his fabric softener permeating the room while the clothes dry.

On a similar note, he’s got sensitive skin—not to the point where a shirt less than 75% cotton irritates him; but he is conscious of fabrics and products he uses. Because of this, he takes extra care with his laundry, his pillowcases and bedsheets are satin as are the majority of his pajama shirts, and he never ever walks around without house slippers or he’ll irritate the bottom of his feet.

He’s scared of bugs, but he doesn’t like to kill them either. Honestly, he just kinda hopes spiders and stuff will crawl away without him intervening 😭😭

He likes board games, and has a thing for The Game of Life. He cannot play chess, even though most people would guess that he could, and he’s begun to practice by playing online versions against computers to learn.

He knows everyone’s gossip because everyone comes to him to gossip. And if he’s the therapist friend, then you’re the person who receives the summary of all the tea from him at the end of the week. And man can this boy throw a bitch fest when he’s in the right mood.

nsfw

He’s got a bit of an oral fixation, so he really likes having your mouth occupied; with his fingers, with your panties, with his dick—he’s not really picky.

Likes sex with the lights on. Claims it’s because he wants to “see all of you” (it’s really because he’s nervous he’ll fuck something up if he can’t see properly 😭😭)

He really likes making out. Like, a lot. Though it’s not something that happens often—so he builds up a lot of frustrating thinking about it, and it all comes crashing down, and ends up with you guys damn near dry humping each other on the couch for two hours.

That’s something that applies to him generally, too—he tends to let himself get very frustrated and worked up, whether he means to or not. He also thinks about sex quite frequently, and it only fuels his frustration; so when he snaps, he snaps hard.

He’d let you choke him back if you asked. Just ask nicely.

JEAN sfw

Loves studying in cafés and adores when you study with him; peeps up at you periodically when you sit across from him. He always pays for your drink, but sometimes you guys share, and he likes making a game out of reaching for the cup at the same time as you.

He’s very chivalrous, but he hates when you call him out for it, or make any kind of deal of it. He knows it’s chivalry, but he also knows it’s the bare minimum, plus he’s easily embarrassed—especially in public.

Loves having his hair played with, absolutely adores it. If you’re just holding his face, or resting your hand on his cheek, he’ll move himself further into your touch to maneuver your palm closer to his hair.

He really really really likes back hugs—giving and receiving them. If he’s standing behind you, he’ll most likely reach for a hug at some point (sometimes he won’t let go and you’ve gotta waddle with him on you). His ears get red when you give him a back hug but he always uses a hand to rest over your arms to tell you that he doesn’t want you to let go.

He can play the piano, but he doesn’t tell a soul about it. The only reason you found out it through his mom. He’s got stage fright, so he gave up on performing, but he’s really talented, and can almost play any song by ear.

nsfw

He loves the feeling of your hands on him, particularly if you’ve got long nails. Please scrape your nails against his back, or even just dig them into his biceps while he’s fucking you, it’ll drive him insane.

Along with liking having his hair played with, he adores having it pulled on—the attention and desperation in your actions goes straight to his ego and his dick.

One of his biggest fantasies is getting a lap dance from you. He’d never ever fucking say it out loud or dream of asking for it, but the idea of you stripping in front of him, down to lingerie he’d picked out for you, and teasing him until he can’t take it anymore and jumps you is something he thinks about… far more often than he should.

If you’re wearing his clothes (especially one of his t-shirts to bed, or around his apartment), he’s gonna fuck you in it. Jean has a lot of self control, but that’s one thing that’ll make him snap in an instant. And if you wear his shirt or hoodie out, he’s fucking you when you get home, it’s as simple as that.

CONNIE sfw

He studies with children’s shows playing the background. He doesn’t remember how he discovered that his method works for him, all he knows is that something about Paw Patrol makes for excellent background noise for writing his research papers.

He’s quite touchy with PDA, but if you guys are in a crowd then forget about it—because Connie might forget about you. He’s definitely left you at the grocery store before.

He eats cereal for breakfast every morning, and he’s kind of got a collection of them in his kitchen. He claims there are upscale cereals that he doesn’t just let anybody eat or even touch; so, if he offers you a midnight snack consisting of a bowl of his favorite (and very rare) cereal, then be honored.

He almost always pays with cash, but he hates change. If he gets back coins, he either tells the cashier to keep them, puts them in a tip jar if there’s one in sight, or just pours them into your coat pocket. He understands that its money, but he’ll be damned if he’s just got a sack full of nickels clanging around in his bag.

nsfw

He claims he doesn’t have a thing for exhibitionism, but with the way he’s down to fuck damn near anywhere, he might be a bold faced liar. Changing rooms, music festivals, airport bathrooms, the little corner of the multilevel parking lot that he’s oh-so-certain is in the blindspot of the security cameras... there are so few things off-limits with him.

Car sex on his bucket list… just not in his car lmfao (because trust and believe that’s something that already happens pretty regularly). Maybe his real kink is vandalism and destruction of property.

He is not above begging you to sit on his face. He will get on his knees and pant like a fucking dog for you to do it, he’s so serious. He’ll do it laying down, he’ll do it with you standing up/against a wall, he’ll do it on the couch. Break his neck please he’s fucking asking for it.

He doesn’t mind sharing and he definitely doesn’t mind watching. Honestly, he’d egg you on to kiss someone else at a party, or go as far as to seduce you into seducing someone else just so he can watch it go down.

PORCO sfw

He sends you iMessage games but only the ones he’s good at because he doesn’t like to lose. But also, if he is losing, he doesn’t want you to be supportive about it and tell him “it’s okay uwu” lmfao he wants to either cream you, or have you kick his ass; competition is the name of the game, don’t be soft on him.

He’s a morning person, and he likes going on runs or even just early-morning walks when the weather is nice. He will wake you up occasionally to join him—and if you’re a homebody, you will be joining him. He won’t be responsible for watching you decompose on the couch.

Very picky about his pizza. It’s not a calorie or grease or health thing—he just really fucking likes pizza, and he won’t excuse a bad slice.

Always pulls you closer to him in a crowd or when a group of people are walking by. He doesn’t have to, but he likes to. Tease him about it and he’ll push you right back tho, probably into a shrub if there’s one near by.

nsfw

He’s such a “No, no—answer the call” kind of mf; a sadist, if you will. He lives for torturing and embarrassing you, and that applies to sex, too.

Loves the way his hands look on you, particularly splaying his hand over your stomach when he’s fucking you. Likes the heat of your body against his, when he positions himself just right to feel the outline of his dick against you, and squeezing the sides of your tummy when he gets lost in it.

Loves blowjobs, and loves to cum on you or over your face. His favorite thing tho is pulling away just before he’s about to orgasm, and jacking himself off with your tongue sticking out, ready to swallow.

Okay with threesomes, too; but he wouldn’t like to do much to or with the third person. It’s okay if they touch you—maybe even fuck you, depending on who it is—but he’s not there to get them off.

LEVI

sfw

When he cooks dinner, he always makes sure to make enough for you to have leftovers to take with you for lunch the following day. Especially if it’s a dish you’ve been wanting or try, or specifically asked him to cook.

He’s got a specific tote bag he brings with him to the grocery store/farmer’s market, and separate one for when he’s running other light errands.

He hates soda, not even just because it’s not the healthiest thing to drink—he just doesn’t like the feel of carbonated drinks; the only exception being when they’re mixed with liquor, but even then, it’s not his preference.

After a while, he just starts lying and says you’re married at places where it benefits you both, or to curb a longer conversation about the status of your relationship to people who are inquiring. He thinks it’s fucking weird that marriage is what shuts people up, but if it works, it works; less people prying in your guys’ business.

He likes giving you forehead kisses, and if you do it back, he’ll learn that he doesn’t mind receiving them either.

He’s such a sucker for you rubbing your thumb against the back of his hand when you guys hold hands. He might not act like he notices, but he always does; and somewhat craves little touches like that the longer you guys are together.

nsfw

He would never admit it to anyone, but birthday sex is up there for his favorite kind of sex. He never cared much about his birthday… until he realized he could get that as a gift. He knows it’s not different, but he likes it, nonetheless; one the few times he doesn’t mind having all the attention on him.

King of aftercare, though some of his methods usually lead to another round—in which he teases you for cancelling out his work, when you know he was just as willing and eager.

He likes edging himself and overstimulating you; and with his self-control, that makes for a pretty dangerous combination.

He’s strong and he knows how to use it to his advantage: maneuvering you with a single arm, holding both your wrists above your head with one hand, pushing your head down into the sheets when he’s fucking you from behind.

Sex is one of the few times Levi doesn’t mind making a mess—and in fact, he likes it messy; watching you drip onto the sheets, making you spit on his dick and fucking your face until you drool. He always goes on about how sloppy you are, how you can’t keep anything clean, but he fucking loves it.

[embrassemoi]

(1/8) You're really out there publising new chapters in such a short amount of time and each chapter is better than the last one!   I'm seriously in awe of your talent! It's so difficult to pick a favorite chapter but this one might be one of my favorites. First of all, I loved what you did with the chapter title, whiskers literally taking padfoot's place in the order they were named on the map. It was sirius' worst fear and it happened. Also Remus and mc's chemistry is so great. I'm a big fan

I've had so much inspiration and free time this past week! and I'm going to start getting really busy this upcoming fall so I want to try and upload as much as possible!

(2/8) of how naturally their friendship and relationship grows and how different their dynamic is compared to mc and sirius. The way she was braiding his hair in common room and the way map practically flirts with her. Their little moment in the halloween party was so great as well, mc (who is dressed up as mcgonagall) drunkly playing with remus' (who is dressed up as FILCH) is probably one of my favorite moments in the sbtmas. Speaking of the costumes, I wish I was a good artist so I could draw

yeah! it's always a struggle to write two different dynamics when it comes to a love triangle because you don't want it to be:

a) the same

b) have it be unfair (although rn it's kinda unfair but hey, sirius will have a chance)

c) please both remus and Sirius stans (its been hard bc sirius stans are so mad with me rn LMFAO its kinda hilarious. I'm sorryyyyy! I SAID SLOWBURN DIDNT I? I WASNT LYING)

and oh my gosh - this chapter was literally so fucking fun to write and I think that really showed in my writing this time. the map - omg - since it's technically remus' magic for his little messages, the map is unable to insult her and I think it's just so cute :)

and I think dressing up as the professors would be so fucking cool! actually, fun fact - this idea was originally supposed to be for fifth year. Sirius was supposed to be McGonagall and MC was still supposed to be a cat but I obviously flipped shit around. for seventh year - I've had their costumes all picked since I started writing and I CAN'T FUCKING WAIT TO WRITE IT MY GOD

(3/8) a fanart of them. Lily as a 20s flapper, marlene as carrie, dorcas as dorothy (it's official, dorcas is the cutest person in this entire series) and sybill as the crazy cat lady (hands down best costume)! And of course marauders as teachers. Remus as filch was son unexpected yet brilliant! I almost died when marlene started flirting with mc for a grade and james called her hot (and also mcgonagall took a photo with her, minnie and marauders era students is always so fun to read about. Can

THE FACT that you would even think of making drawing fan art is literally the most ego-filling thing ever. woah. Thank you for even just mentioning that lmfao.

also, I love Dorcas. I love her. I adore her. the version of her that I created in my head - I'm obsessed. the same goes for Lily. omg I can't forget to mention Marlene! omg I'm a mess. I love them all.

(4/8) you imagine her keeping all of those memories in a box and looking at them after most of her students from that time period die in the war.) Peter had some really good costume ideas after all. But honestly, thank you for... giving peter a personality. In most fics he's just there, only eating in the background (similar to movie!ron). But in sbtmas he's so great and has a great sense of humor (he got his hands on a pen and chose to write "evans' bitch on james' face, an icon). I feel like

okay, that hurt my feelings. I can just picture McGonagall getting teary eyed as she stares at a picture of the Marauders after the second wizarding war, wishing she could have saved her students.

(5/8) this is going to make his betrayal so much better when it eventually happens. I mean, I was genuinely disturbed when james started to talk about how sneaky he was (famous last words). I loved all of the pranks they did in this chapter as well. The exorcist music and ballpoint pens were so creative (and they gave us that adorable scene with dorcas and nifflers) and also... funny. I feel like in a way, it showed how much marauders learned from "The Prank" and matured because of it. Last year

Peter was a marauder through and through. he was just as sneaky as the others, brimming with personality and just as smart. maybe not in academics, but the fucker had strengths in other areas. It was such a pet peeve of mine when they didn't include him in the fics I used to read. idk, sbtmas is everything I guess I wanted in a fic that I didn't get 💀 (I sound a bit egotistical here. If it comes off that way, I don’t mean it to)

(6/8) their halloween prank with spiders was a bit cruel. But this time, it's somethig that would make everyone laugh and maybe a bit annoyed, but still less harmless. Everything was funny and great and honestly, while I was reading this I was laughing the entire time... until I got to the "five years" part! Now that was cruel! You really did used costumes and pranks as a distraction and hit us with the angst! One second I was laughing and the next moment I was having an existential

oh definitely and I'm happy that you caught on to the change in severity from their pranks!

(7/8) how we have no idea about what future will bring and you can never know how much time you will have with your loved ones before it's all taken away from you. But I guess that's the appeal of the marauders era, we all know about the tragic ending they will have but still want to learn about their hogwarts years. And of course the song you chose perfectly captured that. It's halloween 1976, exactly five years before lily and james' death. And they have no idea about how they only have five

(8/8) years together. James and lily was laughing along with peter! There was something so beautiful yet disturbing about the innocence they have and you captured it beautifully. I can imagine sirius, sitting by himself somewhere, thinking about how he lost his friends and not having any idea about the tragic things that'll happen to him (or how he'll try to break into hogwarts on halloween 1993 to kill one of his friends). Okay now I made myself even sadder, I'll just shut up. -🌸

aw, sirius :(. I obviously didn't add him in this chapter but while writing, I imagine him to be in Padfoot form, silently watching the fireworks. just thinking. :((((( I just made myself sad again :( I think I even wrote a small blurb of that part but I can’t remember if I deleted it. If I didn’t, I’ll totally upload it to the outtakes eventually

[winbutlerscowbell]

Terminator Dark Fate Analysis Mexico Edition

Welcome to the Terminator Dark Fate Analysis Mexico Edition, where I’m going to dissect, comment and give my constructive criticism at every reference, landscapes, locations and well, everything that goes Mexican in this movie of ours.

  First things first: I just realized the version delivered to the mexican theaters is DIFFERENT to the rest of the world, why? Because the characters who originally speak Spanish are DUBBED AGAIN, like double dubbed. So ironically, in Mexico we couldn’t get to hear precious things like “no mames”, WE WERE DAMN ROBBED.

OK HERE WE GO:

That bridge is sending me, it really looks like a bridge from here or vial distributor like they call it in a more elegant way.

No, forget it. That kind of bridge doesn’t exist here but nice try, I appreciate that.

Here’s where something really funny starts because what they say doesn’t match with the subtitles at all hahaha 

The girl says “no mames” and it’s subtitled to “Oh my God” AND it was dubbed as “No inventes” hahaha this can’t be...

And here, the guy says “yo siento lo mismo”, it’s subtitled as “I feel it too” which is accurate but when they dubbed it they went with “¿y esos ojos?” lmao

Can’t forget to mention this ICONIC scene, of course.

The moment when the cops arrive reminds me of the meme where there’s some thiefs robbing something and the cops are asleep but there’s someone naked or doing something else and a fucking troop arrives, here is one example of the meme I’m talking about:

kidnappers - cops asleep, thiefs - cops asleep,narcos - cops asleep,an old lady selling flowers - the fucking troops.

"¿Qué le pasó a tu amiga, wey?" the cop saying this hahahsha lmao like I said WE WERE FUCKING ROBBED.

The girl saying “qué pedo wey” when they’re arresting her hahah, I actually predicted at least one “que pedo” would be said in this movie and finally I can see my prediction turned out to be true #SamPatchVidente

The casa de papel guy aka the cop is going to be beaten the shit out for wanting to take Grace to the ministerio publico.

Cops getting beaten the shit out of them: oil on canvas 

And here’s the first mistake: the patrols have signs saying “policia municipal” and “cdmx” (Mexico City). In real life that’s impossible as “policia municipal” (municipal police) is one thing and “cdmx” is a totally different city, patrols can’t have both things but hey, the design is spot on.

"Eso estuvo padrísimo wey" hahsha lmao this time I prefer the dubbing where they go with “eso estuvo padrísimo, güera”, cause I like when they call Grace güera.

Never in my life I imagined I’d be alive to see this piece of art: Mackenzie with “Sí señor” playing in the background. The first time I saw this I was losing my shit even more cause Mackenzie was somewhere in the same room, probably watching the scene too. This is so powerful, wow.

This is sending me hashaha, in the dubbed versión the guy shouts at her “pinche gringa ratera” (fucking gringa thief or something) and it’s translated to “Go to hell lady” come on hahahaha so I prefer that over the original version, damn it I wish I could have a hybrid version of this cause is gold.

The heroic CDMX, fuck yessss! I would have loved to see the Popocatepetl. I’d like to think the suavicrema is in the background, so maybe is Chapultepec?. So what is a suavicrema? Could be like a brand of ice cream wafer and that tall building in the background looks like one, lol. Omg, ok I’ll stop.

Next: we can see doña pelos in here cooking her food. Doña pelos or doña lupe is how we call every lady who sells food in the street, so for practical effects this lady is doña pelos.

Here’s the proof we call them like that:

It translates: “So doña pelos is taking marketing courses” cause she’s using an Adobe logo to promote her food of the day, which is “adobo de cerdo” hahaha

Let’s move on.

No, it’s not “do you want your tamal”, it’s “tortita de tamal” aka the famous guajolota, that’s what she’s asking. A guajolota is “a sandwich composed of a tamal placed inside a bolillo or telera, which is a rounder version of a bolillo.” Yes, I got it from Wikipedia, don’t judge. 

Also, a lady selling garnachas (like quesadillas, etc.) AND tamales? That’s new.

She also sells mangos? Wowowowow that’s versatility. 

And “le robo un manguito” “can I steal a mango?” Dani, you have to pay for that, you can go to jail for like 30 years, I’m serious, remember the meme of the cops?

Someone said she may be a prostitute and I can’t even…so you can’t dress with whatever you want? But also I’m a little suspicious and she actually may be one depending on what zone is Dani supposed to live. 

A pink cab! I thought it was a Nissan Tsuru because they always are but this time it’s not. Missed opportunity, production design team. 

“Let’s put Frida Kahlo to emphasize this is Mexico, what a good idea , why not?” 

Multifamiliar o vecindad? we're about to find out.

Why does she have a bike hanging on the wall? Is that a thing? 

The fruit on the table, the vase, and the squared table cloth, that evoked things in me.

About the music: I mean, it’s okay they put latin music but I am fucking sick to death of this Bomba Estereo song, I fucking hate it. There, I said it.

147 likes, that’s how excited the guys who think they’re Dj’s or something are when they upload things to soundcloud. 

One thing I don’t understand is: if they live in Mexico City, why are they talking in english now? Did I miss something? 

Never seen anyone in my life name a dog “Taco”, only “Chilaquil” but that’s another story.

Arturitooo from la casa de papel! or how I like to call him: el cñor <3 (it means señor but with a c because it sounds the same).

Interestingly, now there are two actors from la casa de papel appearing here hahaha 

LMFAO that’s a flagrant fucking typo: “tomalito” hahshaha that’s an unforgivable mistake. It’s “tamalito” obviously. 

Now, what’s up with the serape blanket on the wall? Hahaha we call them sarapes but come on, we’re not like that…well yeah but no… It would have been funny if the serape had a drawing of the last dinner hahaha that would have triggered childhood memories.

The cñor from la casa de papel is going to the imss for his medical check up. Imss is a horrible public health institution but that’s what we have so…

Ok, this is GOLD: the serape blanket, a picture of la Virgen de Guadalupe, the couch covered with sheets and ANOTHER serape blanket, the sewing machine hahaha they missed the calendar from the fruit store or the butch shop, damn haha

Did taco survive? I guess not :(

Also when Diego sings: Y’all, you could have saved some good money by picking up another song, I mean, it’s a beautiful song by Juan Gabriel but I heard it was very expensive and now in retrospective you could have saved something in this little simple thing.

So it’s a vecindad I guess.

And how did they hang the clothes in the middle? :v Can these people fly? That would be a Mexican super power to take advantage of the maximum possible space. 

  Un viejo encueradooooo, tápese cochino.

A green bussssss!!! We call them microbuses and the location gives me historical downton vibes because of all the people in the street. 

Oopppp another pink cab, I love it. 

I am the only person on this planet who is excited to see those microbuses in this movie, yes I am. 

I FINALLY KNOW WHAT THE ROUTE OF THE MICROBUS SAYS! It says "LAGO DE GUADALUPE, E. ZAPATA" WHICH IS INCORRECT HAHAHAHA. Also, the man with the hat hahaha it’s Mexico City not Monterrey.

Lago de Guadalupe is not in Mexico City and “E. Zapata” maybe is the subway station but they’re absolutely not close to each other, well let’s move on. 

 The casa de papel guy aka Dani’s dad is speaking with a heavy spanish accent tbh

And... Goodbye Mr. casa de papel :(

They make it look as if everybody works there, it’s not a little town, you know?

Why the fuck is an employee riding a bike inside the factory? I don’t get it. 

When diego says "chale" hahaha same.

"Un robot, que chido eh" hahaha chido and it’s subtitled as "it's cool" adjka god help me please.

El señor Sánchez represents me.I mean, there was a little bit of criticism because all the mexicans represented here are white but hey, try looking for someone who looks like a mexican in damn Europe, they did the best they could.

Aaaagain: if they are in Mexico City, why the hell are they talking in english? I’ll never understand.

Typical police guy distracted with the damn phone, yes we are in Mexico.

That policeman looks like Burt Reylonds (?)

Wish Grace would’ve arrived in that microbus hahahaha

That microbus is weird, nope I don't know her. 

That microbus has the same route as the previous one but it has something else under “E. Zapata”, like “Tecnologico” or something like that, ooofff maybe it’s Tecnologico de Monterrey hahaha that college is kinda near Lago de Guadalupe so haha ok, let’s keep going. 

Another distracted cop, my Mexico.

I love how Grace beats cops everywhere, this is an irrelevant scene for this analysis but I just love it so much.

Back to the factory: "Qué hace aquí tu jefe?" jasjdd "que haces aquí, jefe", the slang is on point here haha

"Olvidaste tu comida mijo" jasdjkhd

"Me quieren reemplazar por esa pinche máquina" apparently translates to a "they’re replacing me with that damn machine" jaksdj at least put a “fucking” or something.

Again that heavy spanish accent with that deep voice, hmmm

I’m going to ignore the Factory fight because there’s no Mexican stuff here.

Well, Diego and Dani keep saying “vámonos” and they don’t fucking leave haha

“GET IN” and Dani saying "ya güera ya güera" jakdhakjd I love her

Pink cab is saved from being destroyed by Grace.

Here comes the policía municipal to spoil everything. 

Ok, my theory is they are in the limits of Mexico City and the metropolitan area aka the state which is also a kinda not very good looking place and omg hahaha I love that.

Here’s when Diego slips an almost inaudible “no mames”, I know I heard it.

And well, THANK YOU GOVERNOR OF MEXICO CITY BECAUSE THE PATROLS ARE NOT THE SAME COLOR AND THEY’RE NOT ACCURATE ANYMORE, THANK YOU FOR SPOILING EVERYTHING.

These are our patrols now:

Ugh.

Noooo the tacos :( this really hurt a lot.

This is where I think they enter a highway called “circuito exterior mexiquense” that effectively connects the metropolitan area of the state with Mexico City and I LOVE IT. I love everything, do I?

Also some say the Rev-9 is driving a snow plow truck, is it? The only time it has snowed in Mexico City was in 1967, a long time ago.

Everything is screaming “circuito exterior”, yes I’m getting those vibes and I’m here for it.

Another pink cab is seen. Fun fact: because of its pink and white colors, we call them “hello kittys” and before that they were like wine color and gold so we called them “iron man”.

“FASTER GO FASTER”  Grace: “shut the fuck up, dummy”  and giving looks that could kill.

Hahahaha those license plates are so damn old and they say “Chihuahua” and “Guanajuato” ahaha doesn’t make very much sense.

The car of my friend hahaha

The truck behaving like my friend’s car.

Here’s where as a mexican citizen who used to drive every day in that highway, I detected some continuity details in the pursuit scene: 

ROAD SIGN 1: Nextlalpan/Jaltenco haha on the opposite side of the road.

ROAD SIGN 2: Querétaro/Toluca/Tultitlán on the right side they’re driving

ROAD SIGN 1 again: first mistake fellas, now the sign is in the lane where they’re driving.

ROAD SIGN 3: Ecatepec/Texcoco, how do I know? I just do.

ROAD SIGN 4: This is my fave because in this one there's my shitty town hahaha SALIDA LECHERIA-TEXCOCO AV.JOSE LOPEZ PORTILLO Y COACALCO hahaha

It really looks like the circuit, I drive there a lot of times and Grace was there, destroying everything :')

ROAD SIGN 4: My fave sign now is on the opposite side, mistake number two.

Each and every one of the times I went to the theaters to watch this movie, in this scene everyone was like "ohhhh what? omg nooo" 

ROAD SIGN 4: Mistake number 3, the sign of Lecheria is shown again when the Grace truck had already passed there on the other side of the road.

ROAD SIGN 2: There's again the sign of Queretaro/ Toluca/Tultitlan when Grace's truck has already driven over there.

ROAD SIGN 5: Toluca/Lago de Guadalupe, remember? Lago de Guadalupe,  just like the microbus route sign.

ROAD SIGN 5: Just because I love to see Mackenzie with those signs in the background hahaha

Anyway, the circuito exterior mexiquense is a fucking mess and of course I love it.

Dani, I wouldn't go to the police either, they’re a bunch of useless idiots and I'm sure they would blame YOU for everything and get you into jail for 40 years.

Really bitch? RECETA MEDICA AJSDKASDK he's asking her for a prescription lmao her face I can’t...

Also I always wondered how Grace understood the pharmacy guy but now I know that in the version brought up here, this guy was dubbed to spanish while in the original version he spoke english, those little differences and  I’ll never understand why they did it.

Typical guy filming the mess hahaha 

"Qué pasa güera" traduced to "what the hell", nice (not actually)

That looks like a little town but God knows where is it, eww

Sure, we all have an uncle who is a coyote (no, not true). We call them polleros, not coyotes but whatever.

"Ojalá ustedes no fueran tan blancas" "I wish you two weren't so white" hasjdaj Love it.

So they're going to the famous BESTIA (beast), that's the nickname of the train because it's so huge.

I'm laughing hard because in some sites they called this scene "train station scene" hahaha this is everything but a train station haha ffs

Fun fact: I see that train everyday just without migrants, I think they ride the train in other certain places. This is a pic a took of the real bestia:

LOS HEROES TECAMAC JAJAJAJAJA lmao lmao I can't fucking believe it jasjdkaja the little shitty town close to mine LOVE IT

Ciudad Valles jaskdja

Ciudad Victoria.

China??? wtf now that's just random places.

EDIT: Someone replied to his post and told me it’s a place in Nuevo León and yes it is, CHINA, Nuevo León Mx. close to Ciudad Victoria AND LAREDO. And this means I don’t know my country enough. Gracias @vickysan24​

Is this supposed to be Guanajuato? when on earth they went to Guanajuato? I need to talk to Sonja Klaus asap

Mackenzie saying "hola" is one of the best things that could've ever happened to me.

ahhh the food jasjdja has a lemon in it, I don't know, could be sincronizadas? hahahsha I think it’s eggs and beans with pico de gallo.

Mastering the skill of grabbing the tortilla like a spoon, nice. She has my seal of approval.

cartel de Sinaloa... really?! I really don't know what to think about this one...come the fuck on.

So that's how they cross huh, they keep putting walls but people always will find a way.

La migra got them:(

I’m going to do a big skip here. The border patrol and the detention center are next and key in the story but I don’t really know how can I bring something new in this analysis, maybe I’ll try later.

Next: When they find Carl.

For a looong time I really thought those beers were Corona and now it turns out they weren’t, sad day but oh well there are much better beers out there, so... *nail polish emoji*

Is that... MOLE DE LA COSTEÑA???? JAJAJSJAJD Did you think I wasn’t going to see that?! That’s a great product placement.

And another picture of la Virgen de Guadalupe.

I'm far from being an expert but i'm not sure if we drink beer like that, with the lemon in the bottle.

Another beer?  Yes, thank you.

Even Grace is not sure if beer is drank in that way.

But beer with lemon and salt is everything, I admit it.

Ok, fast forward, no mexican things until the very end;

"Mataste todo lo que quería cabron" jsadkhdjha what a delight! and it’s been translated to "you took everything I had, bastard" lmao yeah, right. Sounds better in spanish, obviously.

Yes people, only a mexican can throw herself to a Terminator and fight with it with her own bare hands.

And to finish this deep analysis, I want to point the great originality (sarcasm on) they had with some character names: Diego Boneta is Diego, Alicia Borrachero aka Carl’s “wife” is called Alicia and at some point the Rev-9 is called Gabriel, like hmm ok, I remember Diego Boneta’s character was rumored to be named Miguel but yeah it was just a rumor. Ohhh and the lady selling tamales her real life name is yes, you guessed it: Mona.

If you’re reading this, I want to thank you for getting this far, for taking your time and I hope this “little analysis” helped you to understand some things better about the movie that maybe you’ve missed in your viewings or to discover new things about Mexico. Did I miss something? Let me know what you think.

[yenneferw]

Can you please rant about jk Rowling she’s fucking awful with her queerbaiting, racism, and transphobia. Like I need someone else to validate me for not liking her

absolutely i hate her!!!!! this is a REALLY long post but she’s written so much and she’s been in the spotlight since her books got famous so like… there’s a lot to talk about i guess. anyway @ jk rowling get ready to be called out 

racism

first of all on this valid bitch of an i hate jk rowling post, the ilvermorny houses. it’s like…. Big cultural appropriation of native american ideas and stories, twisting them to fit her narrative for harry potter and completely disrespecting their history and origins. the history she creates for north american wizards is shit too, saying that native americans would “primitively” practice magic until europeans civilized them with wands (even tho…. it’s like really impressive to do magic without wands in her universe??? like sounds like the native americans were way ahead of europeans, but ofc she twists her own narrative to make the natives primitive). her whole history or north american wizardry also apparently just follows white wizards immigrating to north america and shit…… 

this video is……. a really good poem on the stereotypes and fetishization of cho chang and there’s no way i can reword what the speaker says bc she says it too good so,,, watch it

jk rowling is also really good at speaking out about racism when she wants to on twitter and yet all of her canonical poc characters in the books are background characters. i know hermione is black in the cursed child play, but that feels a bit like the dumbledore thing to me, like they never actually talk abotu it in the books? and if she wanted hermione to be black why didn’t she have any protests about emma watson being cast? if she wanted harry to be brown why didn’t she have any protests about daniel radcliffe being cast? i don’t know if she had any say in that, but i guess she had a say in insisting that the actors had to be british, so if she cared about making a main character poc, why did she not have any qualms about the cast, even in retrospect, even respectful ones like “i love daniel and emma to death but in retrospect i wrote them as characters of color”?

like she didn’t have to push dean and cho and the very small characters of color to the side but she did. she didn’t have to stereotype cho but she did. there are no poc in fbawtft, or there aren’t in the movie at least – and if she’s so happy about johnny depp and can speak out about that relentlessly, but she wanted there to be characters of color in fantastic beasts, why can’t she speak out about that? 

like the cultural appropriation is enough to see that she’s clearly a racist asshole who doesn’t care about the cultures of people who aren’t white, but it’s also clear to see in the background of her writing that she doesn’t care about research for shit if it’ll help to respect people of color in her stories, and she certainly doesn’t care to ensure that there are important characters of color for people to look up to when they read her books or watch the movies about them 

transphobia 

i guess she liked a terf’s article on twitter? like i dont’ knwo how reputable my sources on that were or if she meant to, but if she did, yikes

and from what i saw of the article it was Deep Terf Rhetoric, and tbqh i wouldn’t put it past her to have meant to have done that

i’ve seen ppl saying harry potter has transphobic aspects to it as well but i couldn’t find anything under all the times she’s “defended” trans ppl on twitter like idk i can’t take anythign she says on twitter by heart bc everything she does feels performative and fake af, and i haven’t read the books in like four years so i can’t say for sure based on my own memory 

also she wrote a trans woman in a more recent novel and she’s apparently totally impulsively violent like wow great way to conform to nasty stereotypes about trans women lmfao

like esp bc of this i wouldn’t put it past her to be a terf

homophobia & queerbaiting

saying! dumbledore! is gay! after! the fucking! book series! is not! representation!!!!!

even if she HAD make him gay during the series, he’s not good rep??? he was a manipulative asshole who let a child stay in an abusive home becuase he was too big of a dumbass to think about a way around the issue so that a little boy could live in a home full of people who treated him fairly. so uhh?? the cishets can fucking have him, i don’t WANT him in the goddamn community. 

but she thinks that she’s not homophobic bc he’s the only gay character who never even got to talk about being gay, who we never see in a relationship with a man. like throwing gay ppl scraps isn’t?? rep??? it’s queerbaiting you dumb bitch @ jk rowling…. 

she specifically said herself that werewolves are meant to represent diseases like AIDS, and characters like fenrir greyback are predatory werewolves who want tos pread around the AIDS-like disease, conforming to 1980s homophobic stereotypes against gay people for “wanting” to spread around AIDS like how can you in one breath say you want to bring light to diseases like AIDS and in the next make a character who literally models homophobic stereotypes with the same disease?? 

also, remus was supposed to be gay apparently, but he “changed and fell in love with tonks” like ok first of all bi people exist, second of all why would you write a straight person who’s supposed to basically have AIDS when that sounds a hell of a lot like “predatory gay man infects poor straight kid” like there’s SO MUCH wrong with that, and yeah you kind of have to dig into it a little bit to get there, but when you’re writing about risky topics and you literally admit to it, you need to be WELL-VERSED on what you’re writing about!! and to say you’re writing about AIDS is deeply mixed with gay history! and to say that the main character who is a werewolf was SUPPOSED to be gay and then pretend you’re NOT associating it with gay people is just… such cognitive dissonance, or maybe really ridiculous ignorance

also, dumbledore is dead. so even if he was good rep, and it was within the books, he’s fucking dead. another buried gay, fuckos! pile em up! 

and i’ve heard there’s a shit ton of queerbaiting between harry’s son and draco’s son in cursed child? which like…. may just be subtext, but there’s a huge section of the fandom who’s all about harry x draco (i have not good feelings about that ship personally but to say it’s not popular is to never have seen anything in the fandom), and she must know that? like she’s not oblivious is she? so why would she like…. put subject between their sons? ?? it feels like it’s a bone to “hey i never gave you harry x draco, so here are their sons, who i’m also never going to give you” 

also? if grindelwald WAS dumbledore’s bf at some point, what does that say about what she thinks about queer men? he’s deeply predatory and preys on credence in a very creepy way that plays on stereotypes about older gay men preying on younger gay boys, and he’s also a disgusting villain played by johnny fucking depp, an abuser (who SHE SUPPORTS) of all people. what does that say about what her mind goes to when she thinks about gay men????? 

i don’t actually know her role in those films, but she has said she loves depp, what he’s done with the character, and where the darkness of grindelwald is going in the first movie and its sequels, so even if her role is very little, she supports what is being done. 

also…. um apparently newt scamander created a werewolf registry…. a little honest to god werewolf registry in the fucking 40s….. ??????????? what r we supposed to think here, about a registry of discriminated ppl in the FORTIES…….????? and that’s the protag of fantastic beasts… cool it’s fine it’s fine

ableism

when talking about irredeemable characters like voldemort, she literally said that “whether it’s a personality disorder or illness” they’re not redeemable…. !!!?? here is a post on that subject with links to the sources of the interviews she said this in. 

i don’t know where to put this bc this could be any number of things but i just thought about this so i’ll put it here: the thing that’s created in fantastic beasts, where it’s like basically a personification of anguish from suppressing magic – that’s quite blatantly a reference to any number of minorities, like gay people suppressing their sexuality, trans people suppressing their gender, the mentally ill and disabled pushing themselves too hard or trying to ignore/hide it… and credence was vilified and killed and the protags weren’t even… really sad about it?? and the ministry of magic never really THOUGHT About that they just killed him….. and that’s okay…. that’s fine… they’re just going around killing a bunch of KIDS who are inconvenient to them and who basically symbolize a whole number of oppressed groups. cool, it’s fine

you could also make a point that werewolves also represent the mentally ill, and all the same fucked up shit basically applies here

she also said that everything that muggles can get can be cured by magic, thereby effectively giving some bullshit reason for not actually having any disabled or mentally ill characters, also assuming that it’s not totally ableist to just…. “cure” all that? she didn’t say it specifically about mental illnesses and disabilities, but it’s clear to see that with her attitude on “irredeemable” mentally ill people, she would 

fatphobia

most fat characters in harry potter are shitty people. the dursleys, pettigrew, and umbridge – all characters we’re supposed to find deeply wrong, the ones we’re supposed to hate the most other than, like, voldemort. like…..? a lot of the other fat characters are all “matronly” like molly weasley or stubborn and “lazy” like cornelius fudge who allowed voldemort to rise to power. like what’s that supposed to say about what she thinks the extent of fat people is? stubborn, evil, or motherly? 

she actually has a character grow fatter and fatter based on how shitty she acts towards harry because of a magic mishap. she also usually describes the nice fat people as “plump” and “pleasant,” while she describes dudley as “so much like a pig” that he couldn’t even be turned furhter into a pig when it was attempted, or as a “killer whale,” or vernon dursley as “having no neck”

her fascination with abusers

exhibit a: she loves johnny depp, she loves him for the part of grindelwald, she praises what he’s done for the character, she praises his casting. he’s abused his wife..................

exhibit b: she loves dumbledore. he is constantly manipulating harry and not actually helping him get out of difficult situations at home or at school, putting him and the other kids in danger multiple times, not talking about important information to keep them safe, like?? 

exhibit c: snape. a fucking nasty ass creep to lily. neville’s GREATEST FEAR. like i dont’ even need to talk about this, we all know snape, dumbledore, and johnny depp are shitty lmfao

and yet she named harry’s kids after dumbledore and snape, like they didn’t fuck harry’s life up, especially snape, who terrorized him and his friends. 

in conclusion fuckos

she’s nasty!!!!! i was going to do a section on sexism but i can’t find anything – i think she’s too much of a White Feminist to be sexist, probably. likely she cares more about researching feminist issues than she does about researching native myths before she steals them for her own gain lmfao. there is the fact that she supports an abuser like johnny depp, tho! 

she is constantly like… going against all this on twitter too lmfao, like it’s hard to find good articles on her shittiness on the first page of google bc most of it is “jk rowling defends trans people against transphobic tweet, jk rowling defends muslims against islamophobic tweet, jk rowling defends [this group or that group]” and yet she includes so much bigotry hidden in the details of her books and what she says about her books. like i know some of this isn’t quite on the surface, but ultimately when you write a book with subjects you don’t really know about, your inherent biases are going to be apparent under the surface, and since she’s such a famous author with so many books and so much spotlight on her, if you dig in a little you can make easy conclusions/clearly see what she thinsk about minorities. so it’s really fucking annoying that she’s so “good and progressive” on twitter because it’s obviously performative so she can get the progressive points required for more people to buy her shit. like that’s the best word i can think of to describe her: performative. 

[starryseo]

youtuber!seungmin

aw im excited for this one

seungmin’s such a precious lil’ bean

Chan | Woojin | Minho | Changbin | Hyunjin | Jisung | Felix | SEUNGMIN | Jeongin

can you just imagine him for a sec

with these huGE overhead headphones

and a mic that comes out in front of his mouth

makes him feel like this badass pilot

but he looks so cute with them on bless his soul

starting off with his youtube stuff:

he deffo started his account off with the ever-cringey. . .

m i n c e c r a f t   v i d e o s

he used to unironically play them

and make videos of them all. the. time.

he was really good at making different worlds but like

c’mon

it’s minecraft, the guys had to mock it

he still plays it

and he’ll always be like

“jisung~ can you please play with me?”

and he’ll tilt his head to the side, and bite his lip a bit

and he looks so cuTE

that jisung just can’t say no

even though that completely destroys his gaming rep.

remember changbin’s diss track stuff???

didn’t think he would say anything bad about the precious lil’ thang that is seungmin???

yeah changbin just mocked his minecraft videos

honestly though seungmin just laughed and was like “what’s wrong with my videos though??”

that kinda ended changbin so he’s never made a diss track about him again

and even though the guys mock him

he still keeps the minecraft videos up

he watched a lot of walkthroughs to make those worlds, he ain’t taking the videos down now

as he grew up, he played minecraft less and less, and after meeting hyunjin in school, started playing more FPS games (first person shooters, like battlefield fyi)

he probably had a Little Big Planet phase between that transition though

he’s still getting the hang of the shooting games

he cannot play zombies for shit in call of duty though

not because he’s scared of them

but because when a hoard of zombies comes he panics and starts spray shooting horribly

so he ends up getting attacked

as well as gaming though he has a knack for singing

as he grew up he got more confident in his singing

and so he started posting song covers

his old videos used to be SO out of focus and blurry

sometimes he would put the camera in a really bad position so half his body wouldn’t even be in the frame

but because the audio was gr88

he posted it anyways

after chan saw that video though he was like

dude,,,, im here 2 help u

so chan got down and fixed seungmin‘s entire camera set-up

so seungmin has left it exactly as that

literally

he hasn't moved anything the slightest millimetre

 he even took pics in case something happened to the set-up

and he took down notes in his journal about everything that chan said as he was fixing the place

the rest of his bedroom is also really cute!!!

alongside felix, he’s the only one to have properly decorated his room and show it in his videos

read felix’s one to find out more about his mess of a room lmao

seungmin’s room is 100x neater

he hangs up pictures and fanmail that people send

aaaand since he’s 1/2 of the flower boy line!!!!!!

a lot of the pictures sent in are flower-related

a lot of flowery edits/ backgrounds

or drawings of him with flower crowns

he looks like an actual prince with a flower crown ok

he does his lil’ adorable smile every time he reads the messages ppl have written on their drawings

and he gets even happier when his mum comes into the room like “!!!! you have more mail!!!”

he’s also done a few songs together with woojin and those videos are so amazing bc???

woojin + seungmin + guitar + breathtaking vocals + good camera quality = h e a v e n

they both have such beautiful voices and they compliment each other really well

back to the gaming stuff:

this one time seungmin actually got higher on the scoreboard than hyunjin and everyone was like :000000 SEUNGMIN PLACED FIRST?????

they later found out that it was actually minho playing lmfao

and so hyunjin demanded a rematch buuuut

seungmin deadass said “nah i haven’t got time for n00bs like you”

r.i.p hwang hyunjin’s pride

SEUNGMIN FELT LIKE SUCH A BADASS THOUGH HE TOOK A MINUTE TO JUST PAT HIMSELF ON THE BACK <3333

the guys were holleringggg when they found out lmao

and they don’t let hyunjin live this down

so he’s basically sworn revenge and has made it his life’s goal to obliterate seungmin in a game now

and then the day came that seungmin was like

ok, i’ll fight you, but in a game of my choice

and hyunjin was so desperate to beat him he was just like okkkk

finally!!!!

obviously, MAJOR THROWBACKKK, seungmin picked minecraft

they had a week until the battle would commence

so both boys were playing non-stop minecraft in preparation

felix was just like “damn and you guys call me extra???”

the day of the fight!!!!

seungmin had chosen the Battle mini game

(a quick rundown: each player starts somewhere on the map, there are treasure chests everywhere in the map (and like 5 chests in the middle). you gotta collect weapons, armour, food and potions from the chests because you gotta fight the other person before the time runs out)

seungmin figured that hyunjin would run to the chests in the middle so instead

he ran to the chests near his hiding place

(yeah, he knows all the maps like the back of his hand)

and he got decent resources from there (a bow and a few arrows, some apples, 2 regeneration potions and a mixture of armour)

there was still enough time so he ran to a couple more chests before the showdown began and he had to fight hyunjin

MEANWHILE

(as seungmin correctly guessed) hyunjin ran to the middle of the map to get to the 5 treasure chests

and he racked up a lot of food, armour, a couple of diamond swords and some shitty potions

when the showdown began he moved to one corner of the map so he could try to find seungmin

and seungmin knew that eventually, once hyunjin couldn’t see him, he would get annoyed and start searching for seugmin

so he waited like 30 more secs before he saw hyunjin’s character moving around the map

almost near the end of the countdown,,,,

and neither had fought yet lmao

but seungmin was quite high up and hyunjin hadn’t managed to spot him yet (or find a way to get to higher ground)

so riiight when hyunjin was below seungmin he started shooting his arrows lmao

and hyunjin, being startled, jumped down quickly

wrong move !!!!

because seungmin could still shoot at him

and then when hyunjin had run away seungmin jumped down

and he swapped to his diamond pickaxe and

whilst hyunjin was looking up trying to find him

seungmin literally stabbed him in the back with his axe

so hyunjin quickly turned around with his sword

managed to get a few hits

but

ultimately

seungmin won

yOOOO the boys were screamingggg

seungmin had actually beat hyunjin fair and square lmfao

jeongin, felix, and woojin were with seungmin

and jisung, chan, changbin and minho were with hyunjin

yeah they were in separate houses

so that nobody screenwatched

(they took it that seriously)

felix skyped jisung just so that hyunjin could see them all partying and laughing whilst hyunjin was just there like

my gaming rep is now non-existent

minecraft boi actually beat me

he’s lowkey proud of seungmin bc damn he planned his attack so well

but still

he stabbed him in the back man

it was still hilarious to watch

they all went out to celebrate the next day

changbin amde a lil’ rap about how shit hyunjin is at gaming now

and after that seugmin actually posted the video of him slaying hyunjin’s ass

within the first minute of seugmin posting that video there was one dislike

from a certain salty hwang hyunjin

he’s now made it his plan to improve in a game that hyunjin’s great at so he can beat him at that too

but that’s gonna take a while lmao

so yeah, although hyunjin will 5ever be salty that he got beat by seungmin

he still looks out for him like he’s his lil’ bro

it’s so cute honestly

and they’re always hanging out with each other in school now

practically inseparable

&& although the guys mocked him for his minecraft vids

he knows they still love him and they’re basically all just older bros to him that are always there for him to depend on

and there’s jeongin as his lil’ bro he can be the youngster with

they pretty much always act cute to get the older guys to do their bidding

secretly evil maknaes

only one more left them im?? done??? im gonna miss this series tbfh :’(

[ziggory]

Riverdale Liveblog 2x05 - “When a Stranger Calls”

I like doing my liveblogs as one big dump. I’m also a West Coast watcher! Spoilers for those of you who can’t watch until later!

“Sheriff Keller says something seems off” Lol, weren’t you calling him Sheriff Clueless and undermining him constantly, Alice? Understandable because lord he’s a horrible officer. But it’s just funny

You’d think someone with a blog could rival Alice and her mudslinging especially with how small they keep saying Riverdale is

YES, I FUCKING CALLED IT ABOUT DILTON!!! SwEeT VINDICATION. I mean, a lot of people called it about Dilton, but I’m so shit at calling these things that I have to take what I can get

Yeesh at the pipe bomb idea. What about kidnapping the child of affluent members of town? Eh? Like the sheriff that’s always hauling you in?? That’s more in line with ridic teen dramas. That and I have whump needs that aren’t being met

So I see Kevin’s in “smile and nod” background mode this episode. Sure, whatever.

I didn’t think I’d be into this “Black Hood goes all creepy Swimfan on Betty”, but I sort of am??

YEEEEESSS!! GIMME  THAT YOUNG MADCHEN AMICK MUGSHOT!!!

Hmmmm, maybe this is why you should stay with your foster family, Jughead? Oh well, free dog. A Hot Dog! Ha

Betty’s floral rhinestone top thing is cute. Or is that the middle school stockholm syndrome version of me who thinks that?

Mmmm, Sheriff Keller. If Kevin’s not going to have significant screentime then I’ll take Sheriff DILF screentime and lines. God, the actor just does things to me. And I guess it’s nice that he’s not willing to rule anything out

LMFAO, a fucking dude wrote this fucking episode. I just can’t with Jughead screaming the rules in Tall Boy’s face

Oh, Pop, you wonderful angel business owner man

So Veronica was out running the streets and clubbing and doing blow at 14?? Or younger!?!?

I legit laughed at Archie bumping into that person in the hallway. More clumsy Archie please!

Is Kevin doing the robot? Is that how Kevin parties?? Oh my

FUCK YOU, NICK. Good job slapping him, Ronnie!

I’m cackling at the Lollipop ringtone going off while Betty cries underneath a lamp at this creepy ass bus stop

KJ’s acting classes really paid off

Fred outside of his house? Hal interacting with Hiram like they’re friends?? Why is this weirding me out the most?

DAAAAAAAAMN MADCHEN

Oh, Archie. You’re going to regret that “thugs” line when all 250 lbs of Sweet Pea is pinning you during wrestling practice. And uhhh, they were getting payback on you wavig a gun around their neighborhood. Watch any 90s hood film, Arch

THIS IS THE BEST MUSICAL MONTAGE ON THE SHOW EVER. MORE MONTAGES LIKE THIS

YES, GIRLS, SAVE CHERYL!!! I’m pretty sure this scene of the Pussycats and Veronica beating the shit out of Nick has added years to my life

Betty, for someone so smart, this is a really dumb thing to do right now even though I get that you feel like you’re backed into a corner. But this ridiculous shit is what I live for on this stupid show

I’m glad Josie was still there with Cheryl

LMAO, did Britta request this Harry Styles song? I can’t hate because I love it

I hope Nick’s murder scene is as drawn out as Grundy’s

[leesungjongg]

So since I’m bored, I might as well write my review of Infinite’s Come Back Again.

(And yes, I am giving my full 100% biased feelings towards this :) )

I’ll mainly be talking about the dance practice version of this because it’s my favorite one and the one I always go back to watch because it just gets me nostalgic for some reason, even if I wasn’t in the fandom back then.

They say something in the beginning and I have no clue what it is but don’t they look so cute in those outfits? they’re literally so young and their unwhitewashed glorious skin? Please, I need a moment. *wipes my tears* so beautiful. so beautiful.

Anyways, the music starts like.. 2 seconds after they talk, and all of a sudden THEY START DANCING. BOOM. RIGHT FROM THE START YOU ARE AMAZED BY THEIR JAW DROPPING SYNCHRONIZATION. I think the outfits add more to it as well, because white pants make the whole thing pop out, especially since there’s a lot of footwork at the beginning.

Also, you start to see the smiles forming on their faces :’)

Sunggyu starts singing, and a few seconds in (right after they do that heartbeat move - around 0:27) you hear Myungsoo’s laugh and the camera (what is the camera doing omg) swirls around to Myungsoo and you see him get back into position (I guess one of the members pushed him or something) [there he is]

and then Woohyun comes in and starts singing to the camera with his cool... orangey blond hair (that I love so so much; that look reminds me of summer, it DEFINES summer) and they finally get to the chorus I LOVE MY BABIES SO MUCH LIKE!!! LOOK AT THEM!! THEY’RE SO YOUNG AND SO CAREFREE. Woohyun’s like, making weird ‘het’ noises (is this where dehet came from) like he literally goes ‘huh! *dances* ya! *dances*’ and he’s literally just having so much fun (and think of how many times they’ve practiced this to make it so precise, and even here where they’re just playing around, they’ve probably committed this to muscle memory *sobs* they’ve worked so hard, I’m a proud mama duck right now)

[look at them. even their angles are the same]

[also i just really liked this part bc of woohyun’s arm. don’t look at me]

im kind of wondering if there’s a limit to text posts now... maybe not but wow if you came this far... you are either really bored, or you’re a dedicated inspirit. im not even a minute in to the video yet. either way i appreciate u reading this thank you for sticking around

anyways, since I don’t know how to gif, and the chorus is too complicated for me to pause and take a screenshot of all the moves they make IN LITERALLY 0.4 SECONDS, im just gonna scream. aaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA ok im good now. 

moving on. sungjong and sungyeol sing (those 3 seconds really get to me), and by now you’ve probably noticed how sharp these dance moves are. like it’s kind of scary how accurate they are with this. “Well, they weren’t known for their synchronization for nothing, B” yeah you’re right, but it still doesn’t stop me from being amazed every. single. time. *mindblown*

right around 1:17 , when everyone is in V formation (i guess im a mother goose now, my babies have grown up and are flying on their own AND I AM STILL A PROUD MAMA BIRD) the camera does the weird angle thing again (and it is honestly one of the best things ever, and i’ll tell you why) and it gives a closeup of hoya and sungjong, and as it’s coming back, it gives you the best awkward close up of myungsoo ever.  im gonna spare the screenshot because you need to see for yourself how glorious he looks up close because despite it looking awkward (to me), he STILL looks handsome. he’s a magical being, there’s no other way i can explain it

and then dongwoo’s rap comes up (i love his hair here so much) BUT OMG THE BEST PART ABOUT THIS IS HIS SMILE. we’re not joking when we say Jang Dongwoo’s smile could light up the earth because although this is a HD video, it’s still kind of grainy and blurry, but there’s no doubt that you can make out Dongwoo’s smile. 

[isn’t he so beautiful? what a radiant smile]

also this is one of my favorite parts of the video (you have to watch it to witness the glory of how COOL it looks omg)

OMGOMGOMG THEN IT’S DONGWOO’S PART AND honestly it makes me happy every single time BC LOOK:

HE’S SMILING AND HAVING FUN *MAXIMUM LEVEL HEART EYES*

and all throughout his part, i just want to jump in and join him in the center because he looks like he’s having so much fun that I wanna have fun too.

and then HOYA AND DONGWOO DANCE BREAK:

[and woohyun’s making that peace sign bc he’s just woohyun AND LMFAO WAIT. WAIT WAIT. SUNGYEOL’S DANCING THEIR PART TOO IN THE BACKGROUND I JUST REALIZED THAT GRNISFHGIOFJFK]

ALSO ONE OF MY OTHER FAVORITE PARTS BECAUSE IT JUST LOOKS SO DARN AMAZING, ESPECIALLY AFTER THEY POP AND PIVOT, IT LOOKS SO MECHANICAL BUT SO SO COOL. 

ALSO THIS PART BECAUSE IT JUST LOOKS SO DARN AMAZING PT. 2 AND IDK WHAT THE MOVE IS CALLED AFTER THAT, BUT IT LOOKS LIKE A WHIRLPOOL SO IM GONNA CALL IT A WHIRLPOOL. THEN IT CLEARS INTO THE DIVIDED OCEAN WITH SUNGGYU IN THE MIDDLE SINGING AND EVERYTHING IS GREAT

i’m almost done with this post and wow if you’re STILL here i cherish you. and infinite probably do too.

[im just gonna uh... leave this here for reasons...]

[that’s sungyeol btw, you get to hear the infamous baseball bat clang a few seconds later here and again here because sungyeol ends up kicking it while he’s dancing]

woohyun pushes dongwoo to get more screen time probably, but then hoya quickly gets in front of him, dongwoo comes back, and then hoya finishes up dongwoo’s part because the other is too busy laughing at woohyun to even mouth the lyrics (look at hoya, he’s so cute omg)

and the finishing pose that you’ll only find on here:

and then they scatter, and sungjong does his cute pose for the camera (my eyes are getting kinda sweaty idk), woohyun’s reenacting what he did and he’s laughing and smiling so hard (i love it), dongwoo is laughing so hard he needs to catch his breath and then speaks in english (the first thing i can actually understand through the entire video), hoya sings a line again, sunggyu’s doing.. idk what he’s doing, but his winks are cute, so i’ll let it slide, and i can’t even describe the ending because you just simply need to watch it yourself, because i don’t think words can do justice how much i absolutely love this video. it’s one of my favorite videos (and it’s one of my fave dance practice videos, aside from the Last Romeo one) and i just love it so much. 

[hcllridge-blog]

when u thought you were gonna be hella later than this but you got off work three hours early here comes your highness ---- the trash queen. aloha, for those of you who don’t know me, i’m rach/rachel, a resident of the gmt+1 timezone who’s twenty n goes by she/her pronouns !! straight up, this intro is gonna be a copy-paste of the og one i used because.. nothing changed. i mean, lowkey teegs is now engaged to neil ( lmfao ) bc #arranged marriage lyf ---- but everything else is the same. below the cut you can read all about this piece of literal trash and also my second character aka a literal anGel !! 

VICTORIA JUSTICE ˙ ｡♦ ⋅ ⋆ — here comes TEEGAN HELLRIDGE. did you hear that they are TWENTY-ONE, & a CISFEMALE SHADOWHUNTER. people tend to call HER OBSTINATE & IMPULSIVE. however, i say they are AUDACIOUS & DAUNTLESS. rumor has it, they are FOR the war

TW: MENTION OF ABUSE.

little teegan hellridge was practically raised on hearing stories about her magnificent father, alexander hellridge— the shadowhunter was a great and powerful man, a man who had a name to honor from centuries before him and who planned on keeping it that way.

alexander dedicated his life to being the best he could, constantly training, constantly working and wanting to do all that he could for the shadowhunting world. he threw himself into mission after mission and while he may never had made it as a head of the institute— he was certainty still an important figure.

teegan could never get enough of his stories, her father was her hero, she would beg for him to tell her stories of his missions— no matter how many times she’d heard some of the stories beforehand.

growing up, teegan knew that she too would have to continue to honor the hellridge name, something that coming after as great of a man as her father; made her feel insecure or concerned that she may not be the best that he was, that she wouldn’t live to be as legendary and heroic as alexander.

from the minute she could walk, alexander was eager to train his daughter— believing that starting early would be the key to her success, and it only helped that teegan showed great interest and determination.

despite the fact that teegan often was top of her class, it seemed that this was never enough for alexander— while his daughter would try to celebrate her success he would put her down, telling her not to get too ahead of herself and that she still needed to perfect her skills,  that what she had done wasn’t good enough yet.

alexander pushed his daughter to every limit possible, and the older she got, the more teegan began to convince herself that it was a case of ‘tough love’. sometimes he would smile at her like he did when she was a child, when he would tell her those stories that she oh so loved to hear— but as for the rest of the time, he was stoic. he wasn’t her father, he was her commander and she was his personal solider.

alexander’s wife had stuck by him throughout it all, despite the fact she may not have agreed with his ways of training, she couldn’t voice her opinion without teegan jumping down her throat that he was trying to train her to perfection, that it’s what she wanted.

albeit, victoria hellridge cracked— one day the once loving wife and mother threw in the towel, offering alexander an ultimatum and threatening to take her daughter away from him.

what made her suddenly crack was alexander’s obsession been taken to a level no one would’ve expected— he was consumed by the idea of creating a perfect little solider, of having HIS daughter’s name go down in history.

between his daughter being blinded by her admiration for him, and how easily he could manipulate her by whispers of how powerful he was going to make her; it was only natural that upon her father suggesting experimenting on his own daughter, she agreed.

victoria, however was not going to stand for this— calling her husband all names under the sun and making out that he was psychotic, twisted, a disgusting man; something he then only proved to be right when she threatened to take teegan from him. he wasn’t about to let his pride and joy be taken by anyone, not even his wife.

with being such a well-known, loved man, alexander easily wound himself into getting his wife de-runed; and furthermore, getting her out of the picture. though, as far as teegan knows, her mother left them both; her father twisting the image into her mind that victoria was a selfish woman, that she didn’t want teegan to suceed; which only further fueled her desire to be that perfection her father pictured her as.

this is getting excessively long so to cut to the chase; alexander lowkey very much experimented on teegan— literally he’s kinda very much the worst dad in the world but she’s entirely blinded by this because she loves and admires him so much and fr someone needs to smack her bitch ass and tell her to wake the fuck up because everything about her relationship with her father is wrong wrong WRonG.

oh !! i should say that the only reason teegan is FOR the war is because daddy-o was whispering in her ear about it and has convinced her that it’s for the best because he ain’t a fan of them downworlders soOoo.

and of course teegan gonna do and follow what he says sooOo.

okay so little added bonus !! ya gurl has angel blood. thOUGh. she’s totally unaware of this factor as it’s from her mamma and her mamma never told her or her pops about it. her fathers experimentation have all been seen as failures by him considering they never had any impact or outcome on teegan, though he’s unaware the entire time that she already has what he desires her to have.

basically, as i’ve probably repetitively said throughout the many bullet points above; she’s daddy’s little solider-— teegan will do literally ANYTHING he asks of her, he could ask her to cut off her own arm and tell her it would benefit her and make her a better shadowhunter and she’d fucking do it like? it’s pretty extreme. she’s very much a down-to-business kind of person, likes to get shit done. can 100% be found training all the fucking time like.. even if she’s injured she’s gonna train. can be fairly snarky and just.. comes off generally not nice because she’s not here to make friends rly she’s here to be the best lmfao. iDk mAn. she’s a mess i’m a mess who isn’t a mess.

as for plots.. ya’ll i’m a big plot slut please give me eVerYTHINg. like, especially someone who might’ve accidentally found out about her dad’s exterminations on her? because he would’ve obviously kept that hella lowkey so pls? give me this plot? we can discuss if teegan knows this muse knows about it or their reactions etc. IDK MAN I WANT IT ALL.

{ TROIAN BELLISARIO } ˙ ｡♦ ⋅ ⋆ — here comes (OCTAVIA NIX). did you hear that they are (APPEARING TWENTY-FOUR/TWENTY-NINE), & a (CISFEMALE) (WARLOCK). people tend to call (HER) (MANIPULABLE) & (FEARFUL) however, i say they are (INTELLIGENT) & (COMPASSIONATE). rumor has it, they are (AGAINST) the war.

TW: MENTION OF ATTEMPTED MURDER.

so first off, octavia is a fairly 'new' warlock i guess one could say? considering most are hundreds, centuries of years old she is only five years older than the year she stopped visually ageing at.

she's still very much coming to terms with her magic, learning new things on daily basis. it's only something of recent she's been trying her hand at, as for years she refused to acknowledge her power.

octavia was the offspring of an american-italian by the name of juliana, while her 'father' was that of a demon shape-shifted to the appearance of juliana's husband, alberto.

she was deemed a 'normal' child for many years, despite the fact on rare occasions alberto swore he saw her eyes light a vibrant shade of lilac.

skipping forward, basically alberto started to study closer into the eye-changing? and therefore wound up spending hours upon hours researching ---- the deeper he got into the idea of it being a supernatural cause the more repulsed and horrified he felt. coming from such a christian background he felt disgusted to think he had been taking his demonic, devil-child to church each sunday.  

it was then he began to form the perfect plan, he could make it look like an accident ---- juliana would never know, it could be written off as a suicide.

however, his plan went to ruins when his wife landed home in the midst of alberto with both hands against octavia's shoulders, attempting to drown her in their family bathtub.

i just realized both my girls have #daddy issues daMn.

anywho, basically juliana saved octavia and tried to search out help ?? considering she was entirely unaware of octavia's 'gift'.

which octavia wound up living with a friend of her mothers for a time whom was also a warlock; the older female promising to teach octavia how to use her powers wisely.

however, being scarred from the doings of her father, she refused her help.  

wanting to try her hand at leading a normal life, octavia moved to manhattan ---- finding herself a comfortable one bedroom apartment and for a period of time, she even had a job. which, she somewhat still has. after taking a job in a florists it was something she found a deep adoration for; finding the trade itself rather relaxing. making use of the extensive balcony her apartment was supplied with, octavia began to grow her own flowers and creating her own bouquets at home ---- opening her own small business were she worked from home.

this is trash but i swear i'm going to write up proper, detailed bios for my children in the future i sWear. but basically, octavia has only began to just drabble into magic and her abilities? it's something she's still very reluctant about and until this point has been trying to live life as a mundane. lowkey wakes up sweating and screaming sometimes because she has night terrors of her attempted murder lmAo. is a hella pushover? the reason she probably got into magic was because someone asked her to do a thing so she had to learn how to do it for them. honestly, you could manipulate her to do anYthing for you. emotionally just.. s m o l? her outfit aesthetic is basically spencer hastings like ?? not sorry. lowkey grew up wearing a little gold cross around her neck that she still wears but it's often hidden under the collar of her shirts lmaO. probs is always drinking herbal teas, feeds stray cats 10/10, apartment is covered in flowers and millions upon millions of books. i hope that ?? kinda covers the basis of my smol child but please !! plot with her ?? pls. lowkey feel like when the day met the night --- p!atd describes her in terms of she's the moon tbh ??

IDK GUYS PLS JUST GIMMIE ALL THE DAMN PLOTS.

[artsyarchangel-blog]

Gunbreaker

So i read a lot of light novels these days and so i decided to write something in a similar style. It's mostly meant to be a learning experience, purely for fun. Try to see it as that, or don't, not that it matters. The plan is to publish something every month, gradually it will become bigger and bigger. This is the idea at least. I won't really talk about the subject of this Web-Novel, see for yourself. It contains some mature content though and will gradually ramp up in that regard. 

But enough of that, just enjoy the little something i’ve written up here.

Chapter 1: Days of Justice 1 Life can be so terribly dull, so very uneventful. Going through the motions, following the daily grind it's easy to just shut off your mind and do whatever you are told. A chosen few will come to detest this truth, but only the smallest number will successfully rebel against it, without being crushed into submission. But some events make you appreciate just how easy life actually is. Events like a sudden shootout, when you find yourself surrounded by maimed corpses, blood splattered all over you in merely a second. Yes, an event like this might cure these childish thoughts of rebellion,of changing the world, but for me, they were awakened. All i felt was uncontrollable rage, like a wild beast unleashed on this world. Not that it mattered, i was only lucky to survive the first barrage and the next one would surely extinguish my life. If it wasn't for the girl, that is. I don't think i ever thanked her for that... The faint blue color of the screen was the only light source in my small room, as i chugged down another can of my valuable energy-drink. Well listen, my allowance was really small at the time and those stupid cans were expensive as hell, it's not like i had an addiction. Anyway, it was another all-nighter for me, watching my favourite shows or playing games together with a few slackers called my friends. I had school tomorrow, but what of it, this useless educational system could go straight to hell for all I cared. Still gonna go in the morning, of course, otherwise my mom would yell at me. Didn't matter, I just slept in class, you could say I mastered this technique over time. No one ever noticed. Because the teachers are stupid, completely retarded. I spent many a night like this, wasting away, basically doing nothing but diminish the energy to actually achieve something in my life. I was 15 though, gimme a break, okay? Now this night, though, this night was special and in many ways it shaped my whole future. As I browsed through meaningless videos, funny threads filled with smart people (who always seemed so much more clever than my dumb teachers) and, of course, I left my own comments, receiving praise in the thousands, by my fellow internet brethren. What joy, I felt elevated, but this happened regularly, so that is not what I am talking about. No, the night was made special the moment I opened another video titled “The truth of the wastelands”. The footage showed a small village, utterly ruined, smoke rose from the roofs while armored vehicles moved into the frame, spilling heavily-armed soldiers out of their guts. Now mind you, this is the first time I laid eyes on supposedly real firearms and it was also the first time I saw a human being die. They rushed into a hut, one of the few unscathed by what could only be an artillery-strike and dragged out a few people, bearing all the qualifications of a family. And then they just shot them, one after the other. There wasn't any sound and the footage wasn't of the highest quality, but the way the bodies, former humans, jerked after having a gun put to their head, made me sick to my stomach. Just then, the screen faded to black, showing only my reflection and my disgusted face. A message spread across the screen:”This video was taken in one of the rural areas surrounding our walled cities. This world is not safe, this world is not peaceful and we do not live in prosperity. They are lying to you. They keep you safe in your cages while they do as they please.” The message was signed by a group named “Hermes”, their logo a pair of red winged sandals on a black background. I never heard of them before, yet I felt like they were right, like they had something to say that needed to be said. Outside of the cities, such horrific crimes took place? Could it be? How was I unaware of that, how was everyone unaware of that? As I read through the comments, I slowly started to understand: “This looks fake.” “lol, take off your tinfoil-hats!” “who are these guys anyway?” “wow, nasty, they just popped her head, lmfao” “Is this real? Then someone should change this! Actually, screw that, I want to change this, I am so mad right now!!” The last message belonged to me, my true feelings, written down by a 15-year-old highschooler. Even today it makes me chuckle and before I could receive any reaction on my comment, the video was gone. I refreshed the page, there was nothing, just the error message. Now I could have just forgotten about it, there were a million reasons why this video got deleted. Maybe it violated the guide-lines of this website, maybe the contents were stolen from someone else, maybe it actually was fake and the administrator tried to prevent the spreading of such bullshit. Or maybe it was all a grand conspiracy and the government themselves deleted the video, to cover up their crimes! You are free to guess what was most plausible in my mind there. Now let me say something to my defense though, it wasn't actually that outlandish. It was like an open secret that you can not leave our five major cities. If you were born in one, you were going to die in this same metropolis. It was commonly known, obviously, nobody could cover up the fact, that the mainland of our planet was a hellish landscape, unfit to any human life. Yet people lived there, apparently and maybe seeing that triggered this anger in me, this self-righteous justice. Everyone else was just lying to themselves, because they weren't the one on gunpoint, they were safe and only later, I understood them. That it was easier this way. You were simply happier and fighting it was futile, you tried to climb a mountain without any limbs. But back then, I didn't see it that way in my youthful recklessness. Ultimately, it really didn't matter anyway. I was helpless, there was nothing I could do to help those poor people living outside the safe zones. There was nothing to be found online, I searched every nook and cranny, stumbling over baseless rumors.  One suggested that Hermes was actually the government themselves, luring in stupid teenagers and offing them once they got their personal information. I also met at least a dozen people claiming to be Hermes, but that soon proved to be just trolling. There was nothing left and it depressed me a little, I became distant to my friends, I never replied to their requests to play some games, I was obsessed with that video. How their bodies went limb, how they were meaninglessly slaughtered. Now that was my own interpretation of the scenes, for all I know this family could have been a band of mass murderers and the armed forces only exacted revenge, but in my conviction, I had to save innocent lives. Me, a failure of a student, with no exceptional intelligence to speak of. Really, if Hermes had any sense, they'd tell me to leave as soon as I made contact. Instead, after a week of frantic searches, asking around online, I received a message: “We witnessed your resolve, brother. If you still want to bring the deserved peace to this world, then join us.” 2 Embedded in this simple message was a link. The logical assumption would be that this would either lead me to some fucked up porn or a virus, ready to just disintegrate my entire system. Naturally, I clicked it without a moments hesitation. Nothing bad happened against all odds, instead I found myself in some chat room. They really were serious with me! There was no members-list, no previous message, radio-silence. I felt like I stepped into a hall of heroes, onto the round table itself, only virtually of course. My real scrawny body was still hunched over the keyboard, not knowing what to say, what message I could write. Really, I blacked out completely, I didn't even know a simple online-chat room could feel so awkward, yet here I was, frozen stiff. I typed  a simple “hello” and deleted it before I could send it. Then I wrote some eight-grader nonsense of justice and prophecies and thankfully deleted that too. I have enough cringy memories, I didn't need that one...on further thought, does one more on the huge pile really matter? Only then, he finally broke the silence: HERMES: So you want to change our fate, breaking free, destroying the influence of the five Warlords? Tell me, brother, what motivates your actions? Why do you want to join our justice? Yeah, turns out this guy was as much of a child as I was. Of course I replied enthusiastically, but at this point I  had no screen-name yet. I thought long and hard about my answer, actually only a minute, I didn't want them to think I just left. ANON: I saw the video you guys published a few days ago and since then, I simply cannot stand by while innocent lives are erased. Please let my join in your noble cause, my brothers, in your pursuit of liberation! I don't know what to say here... I could practically feel how the people on the other side of the screen laughed their asses off...is what I want to say, but in reality, I felt pretty damn proud after my convincing answer. HERMES: Very well. A good answer. Yet we see that you are still unrefined, without a strict direction. Without a plan to actually achieve our ends. Fret not, we are here to guide you in your path, but you have to take action yourself, just as you did before we found you. HERMES: Are you capable of doing that? This is your trial, identify who is responsible for these crimes, we will contact you in another week. And just like that, I was back on my homepage, unsure of what to do. The culprit? The person who is responsible? Or was this about an idea, the motive behind these actions? Come to think of it, why would they turn our planet into an unruly land, where only the strongest survive and the laws are made at the muzzle of a gun? What could be the meaning of this? I had to mull it over and most importantly I could not disappoint these internet-warriors. For all I knew they were just kids, maybe not even a group, some teenager who knew a little more about computers and managed to abuse a security-leak. There was absolutely no guarantee that Hermes was the real thing. It's just that it didn't even matter to me. I was just happy to escape my boring life, to have a sense of purpose so many teenagers are missing.  A feeling of superiority filled my very being, I was better than all these blind idiots, lying to themselves just to preserve their peaceful lives. This would all change, I'd fight to birth a new world. Or at least I was about to. 3 The following days I did nothing but research, I even skipped school, coming up with an excuse how terribly sick I am. Maybe I laid it on a little thick, my mother almost send me to the hospital, but the end-result was me sitting in front of my computer-screen, looking up everything I could think of. Some things I looked into were common knowledge, that every one of our five cities were independent states, governed by a prime minister and that there was a big conference every four years. This already struck me as odd, were they allowed to leave the cities? And wasn't it a little to convenient, five cities for five warlords? Surely there must be some sort of conspiracy on a government-level so I dug deeper, I needed to know everything of our administration down to the districtional plane. Needless to say, I found nothing and that in itself was weird. You'd expect a bunch of theories online, some baseless rumors, some insane people dedicating everything to bring some shocking truths to light, even if there is no proof. Hermes wasn't much different, after all. However, I found nothing, like the entire network was curated by some unknown source. It was scary, I seriously considered giving up, who knows what they would do to me... if they could track me. Well, I had a lot of countermeasures against that, at least I thought I did. Hacking or cracking, these were never skills I acquired, so I just relied on some tutorials to set up an impregnable barrier. Feeling safe like that, I naturally continued, but I couldn't shake this bad feeling. The only information I could gather out of direct conversations, groups similar to Hermes, just not as influential or effective. Cause when I mentioned the group, everyone held their breath, metaphorically of course. For the first time, I heard of their reputation, how they brought down the website of the government, putting their logo across the entire screen whenever you tried to access it or how their leader escaped multiple raids on his home-base, injuring the special forces in the process. I never even knew our police had a special force! It was awe-inspiring to me and more than ever, I wanted to be a part of this organization. Again, there was no proof for any of this, only my faith. Surely nobody would do such a terrible thing, just telling lies on the internet. So while I did acquire some information, true or false, no matter, I didn't really feel like inching closer to my goal. What was the reason, how could I find out? In the end I even pinned everything I found on a board in my room, feeling like some kind of TV-Detective. If my parents caught me, they might have send me to the therapist, but luckily they never entered my room without knocking first...for both our sakes. I put down all kind of names, organizations, looking for a link that shouldn't be there, evidence for some sketchy business. The video flared back into my mind, how all life left the body of this innocent woman, but it wasn't just about that, not just a reminder for the injustice I vowed to destroy. No, I looked for something, an emblem, a badge on the soldiers, maybe a number on their weapons, anything I could use. Hermes gave me nothing, our exchange took maybe five minutes, then they send me on my way, to prove myself, but what did they expect? How could a student figure this out, if no one else could? Nobody knew why we lived confined in these cities, nor when it even began. It was lost to history, maybe all accounts of a time before the metropolis were deleted, maybe destroyed in some kind of catastrophe. This was the most likely scenario, that nobody meant for this to happen, just some natural disaster scorching the earth. But if that was the case, Hermes wouldn't fight against...against someone. Who was it, I had to know! The five Warlords, yes, I remembered, but who are they? The deadline was drawing near, tomorrow, at night most likely, they would expect my answer. No sleep was found this night, not until I could come up with something, anything. The most embarrassing thing would happen if I just had no answer at all, if I'd just stay silent. Or spout some generic shit, like “The government” or “the Banks, they are responsible for our misery”. I could not let it end here! So I stayed up all night thinking about it, I continued to rack my brain in the morning, eventually, I couldn't go on any longer and just fell asleep on my desk. The sound of a notification woke me up and there it was, another message. It didn't say anything, which did nothing to ease my nervousness, only provided a link again. The sender was clear though, so there was no doubt, Hermes contacted me just like they said they would. But I still had no answer. Regardless, I had to dive in, of course, always thinking about this video. It was the only definite hint that I had, so the answer had to be in there. Who is behind all of it, what is the reason for the sorry state of our planet?  The reason...wait, it could be so simple! HERMES: Now then, Initiate. Did you find the solution to our query? I hesitated, I wasn't sure, it might be too simple, it might even be idiotic. It was all I had, however. With trembling fingers, I hammered my answer into the keys. ANON: The reason these crimes are possible, the true culprit...is the weaponry used by men. This was my answer, this was my solution. I had to wait a while for a response and every second served only to make me more anxious. HERMES:...Weaponry. Very well! This is the first  time we heard this answer, yet it strikes closest to the truth, well done! Now let us show you the true works behind our government, our true leaders. Let us talk about the five Warlords.