#i guess i am due for another big angst about my ex but i sure as fuck am not appreciating it

[connanro]

sometimes i'm like “oh yeah i'm SUCH a catch. women DEFINITELY want me.” and then other times i remember that i have seventeen hundred problems, most of which are arguably my own fault, and am single for a reason (the reason being a woman didn’t want me that much lol)

[hwangsies]

zephyr

(n) a gentle breeze

pairing: seo changbin x female reader (hwang hyunjin x female reader)

genre: rebound to fwb to dumbasses to lovers(?), college!au, undergroundrappers!3racha

warnings: angst: mentions of infidelity, heartbreak and abuse, seemingly unrequited love, they are both so dumb and prideful its annoying, fluff, bad attempt at comedy, minsung on the side, cursing, alcohol consumption, smut: protected piv, oral (f), studio sex, praise, mild degradation, hair pulling, mild spanking

wc: 10k

enjoy <3

-

September

"y/n?" you hear your roommates faint voice calling out your name.

You dont bother to answer because you know she's going to come into your room at any second now.

And you're right. "y/n??" Your door opens a few seconds later.

You groan in response, not looking up and instead staying in your little cocoon of blankets.

"no babygirl what are you doing?" you feel the bed shift under lias weight when she sits down.

"what does it look like i'm doing?" you grumble back, her hand gently rubbing over your arm.

"sulking, babe" she replies, dropping her purse to the ground.

"10 points for griffyndor" you sniffle as you scooch and sit up, pushing the blankets half off of you at which she sighs.

"wooyoung was not that good of a boyfriend for you to still be crying over him" lia presses her lips together concernedly.

She's right, you know it. It has almost been two months and you still feel like crying everytime someone mentions him.

"i know" you nod somewhat defeatedly "still, i was with him for almost a year and" you hiccup "he literally ripped my heart out and trampled on it"

"i know" lia nods understandingly "but i do think it would help if you went out again, even if its just for a night, you know just to be around people"

"it probably would but i just dont have the energy for it" you shrug your shoulders.

"i get it, girl, i really do" she pats your knee "both of my exes cheated on me, my only luck was that they were both awful at hiding it so i found out pretty quickly" she huffs.

You force out a chuckle, from what you heard from one of the girls that wooyoung cheated on you with, was that it started 3 months into your relationship.

"this the most humiliating thing ever, lia" you scoff "being with someone for so long, trusting them and telling them all your secrets and you think they are doing the same for you but then realizing that they were faking it all along to have multiple side chicks, and the fact that i was too oblivious to figure it out is the icing on the cake" you rub your forehead, feeling a migrane approach due to the sheer amount of crying you've been doing.

She seems to know what's happening and hands you the water bottle next to your bed "hydrate, sis"

So, you do. Taking four big gulps out of the water bottle.

Once you place the bottle next to you and tie your hair in a messy bun, you look at your roommate more thuroughly now that the tears are wiped away.

"you look pretty" you compliment her makeup and casual yet chic outfit "what'd you do tonight?"

Her contagious grin spreads over her face, eyes turning into little crescents.

"chris took me to the fair in town" lia grins before her face drops "I'm sorry, this is maybe not the time to ta-"

"No! It is, tell me about it" you interrupt her.

"O-okay" she nods hesitantly "well, i dont know if you've been keeping track but today was our fourth date and it was amazing" she gushes.

"I cant believe how much i like him, like, its crazy" she squeals a little, at which you giggle.

"so, fourth date huh? And he hasnt tried to get into your pants yet?" you quip.

"nope, i initiated our first kiss and other than that nothing" she whispers the last words before laughing.

"thats great" you smile, genuinely happy for her.

"Hmm yea" she sings as she gets up "i'll go to bed now too"

"Oh, hey, i have an idea" lia speaks up when standing in your doorway "chris has this performance thingy in two days, you should totally come!" she offers enthusiastically.

"he has a band?" you ask, partly to distract her from her offer.

"Hmm not really a band, they're a trio and there is this performance on saturday where a bunch of underground artists perform, i didnt fully listen if im honest" she giggles "but you should come with me!!" she jumps excitedly.

"i dont kno-"

"y/n pleasee? You'd do me a huge favor too because i dont know anyone there" lia pleads, clutchig her hands together.

"you know chris" you rebuttal.

"and what am i supposed to do when he's performing? stand around like an idiot? please y/n" she pouts.

"I dont really think this is my type of crowd..." you scratch your head.

"please please please" she jumps once more.

You sigh and tilt your head as you look at her sternly.

"one of his friends is single" she adds carefully.

"and cute" she sings "from what ive seen in pictures" she adds.

"lia" you groan.

"I'll do your laundry for two weeks if you come with me"

"you will?" Your head snaps towards her.

"yes i will! i promise, just come with me, please?"

A long sigh leaves your lips "okay"

-

The strong bass of the loud music rings in your chest as soon as you step foot into the club where “3racha” is supposed to be performing tonight.

Lia comes to a halt and you almost run into her because you were to busy checking out the venue and the other people around you.

“sorry” you mumble and hold onto her arm to avoid getting lost in the crowd.

She pulls out her phone and clicks on her and hers and chris’s chat, to figure out where to meet them, you assume.

“okay” lia puts her phone back into her jeans pocket and grabs your hand “they’re backstage, lets go”

“can we just go there?” you almost yell for her to understand what you’re saying.

“yea! Chris said he’ll make sure we’ll get in, come on” she tugs at your hand for you to walk faster.

You waddle behind her, barely dodging some drunk guys beer that goes flying before you arrive at the sign that says “artists only” and a black curtain behind it.

The guy standing infront of it raises a brow at the two of you before pointing at said sign “read ladies, no fans allowed”

“hey, they’re with me” a guy, you assume to be chris, taps on his shoulder and shows his artists badge, half of his body still covered by the curtain.

The bigger guy sighs and lets you through.

“thank you” lia lets go of your hand to loop her arms around chris’s neck once behind the curtain, they kiss and you look around.

Not because you are particularly uncomfortable, maybe still just a little bitter at happy couples.

You audibly clear your throat when they are still making out after a good ten seconds.

“oh-uhm” lia looks back at you after breaking the kiss “chris, this is y/n, y/n, chris” she giggles.

“hi y/n, nice to meet you” he gives you a quick hug and a smile full of dimples, finally understanding why your roommate is always swooning about him.

“hi” you smile back, somewhat forced.

“lets go to our dressingroom” chris suggests and leads the way.

Opening the door, he lets you and lia walk in first.

One guy is dancing around in the middle of the room, singing along to the current song that’s being played in the background with a water bottle as a pretend mic.

Another is one sitting on the small couch and laughing at him.

“oh, hi” the guy stops singing and quickly hides the bottle behind himself at which chris chuckles.

“guys, this is lia and y/n” chris points at the two of you before closing the door behind him.

“ooo the lia?” the waterbottle guy wiggles his eyebrows, at which you cant help but laugh as well, he isn’t very tall but looks lean.

“what is the lia supposed to mean?” lia laughs when chris comes up and slings an arm around her waist from behind her.

“I..well-I talk about you sometimes-“

“sometimes my ass” the guy sitting on the couch scoffs amusedly, your eyes shift to him.

He’s wearing a white baseball cap and a pretty tight fitted black Versace shirt, making his shoulders and arms look broad.

His hands clad in black half-gloves, he adjusts his cap before locking eyes with you and quickly looking down again.

“channie hyung must’ve forgotten his manners, I’m jisung” the waterbottle guy speaks up “and that’s changbin hyung” he points at the most intimidating-looking of the three of them, on the couch.

“channie?” lia squeals as she sits down with chris on the couch changbin is sitting on as well, jisung coming up to you.

“hey, you want something to drink?” he asks, pointing at the mini bar feigning cockiness  “we have a mini bar”

“woow” you chuckle, playing along “sure I’d love a drink”

“how come we’ve never met on campus before?” jisung asks after mixing you a vodka soda and sitting down on the second couch in the room.

“oh, you all go to uni here as well?” you ask surprisedly as you sit down next to him..

“yea” he grins “that’s how we all met” he points at lia and chris almost sitting on top of each other “and those two”

“oh I didn’t even know that” you take a sip, trying to loosen up “I guess I wasn’t listening when she was ranting on about him”

Jisung laughs and changbin joins the two of you as he sits down next to jisung.

“they just started calling each other bubs I feel like throwing up” changbin groans as he drinks from his beer.

You huff before jisung speaks again, looking from his friend back to you “he’s usually more romantic” he quips.

“I bet” you joke with him.

“yup” changbin locks eyes with you “that’s why I’m single, I’m just too romantic” he shakes his head sarcastically.

“ooh” you squint your eyes “emotional unavailability? love that in a man” you grin, at which his eyebrow quirks up amusedly.

“speaking of man, did minho hyung text you when he’d be here?” jisung asks his friend.

“yea he said he’ll be here in 5 and that you should finally buy a new phone” changbin answers, reading it from his phone at which jisung scoffs before turning to you.

“minho is my boyfriend” he explains “he’s hot” he grins at which you laugh “I bet”

“so, y/n, do you have a boyfriend?” jisung asks after taking a sip of his drink

“not anymore” you scoff, jisung inhales excitedly “guess what, changbin is single as well” he grins from ear to ear, comically looking back and forth between you two.

“oh, please dont start like lia” you chuckle, leaning forwards to lock eyes with changbin “no offense, but I only attract assholes”

He shakes his head, amusedly raising his brows “none taken” he grins at which you huff before a young woman comes into their dressing room to tell them they’re up next.

-

Back in the crowd, you and lia find a good place just as the lights dim and the music begins to play.

Suddenly you feel someone run into your side “woah I’m sorry” he quickly apologizes “this guy pushed me” he looks behind him.

“its alright” you nod, loud enough for him to hear.

Once they come outside, the crowd goes wild.

“jisungieee” the guy next to you all over sudden screams, you have to smile when looking at him.

“are you minho by any chance?” you ask him.

He nods aggressively “yea! do you know jisung?”

“I just met him backstage” you yell over the loud bass.

Minho laughs and nods before the bass drops and chris starts the first verse.

“he’s great right?” lia screams into your ear when the first chorus ends.

“yea” you nod, actually surprised at how good their music is, now understanding as to why the crowd loves them so much.

Changbin starts his verse and suddenly you feel somewhat entranced, his voice is rough and his bars are hard, definitely fitting his appearance but what entices you is the passion with which he appears to be performing.

Throughout their whole performance you cant take your eyes off him, the way his arms flex when he grips onto the microphone a little harder or the way his jugular sticks out when he growls into the microphone.

Not to mention the thighs you somehow didn’t notice in their dressing room, you watch them strain against his leather pants and feel even hotter suddenly.

Their last song ends and lia is quick to be in your ear about going backstage to chris again.

“oh you know chan hyung?” minho overhears and chimes in.

“yea she’s his date” you point at your overly excited roommate.

“changbin just texted and said they’re upstairs in the vip lounge, come with me” the brunette holds out his hand for you to take, which you do and grab lia with the other one.

“do you know where you’re going?” you ask minho after a minute of pressing yourself along sweaty dancing bodies.

“yea! they’re here a lot” he yells back “its right over there” he points to a flight of stairs where yet another bouncer is standing in front of.

“hey minho” the bouncer greats him with a fist bump “these girls are with you?” he points at lia and you.

“yea” he nods.

“trying something new, I see” he laughs atw hich you frown.

“oh, nono” minho chuckles uncomfortably “I’m still with jisung”

“ah-alright well, have fun” the bouncer moves after looking you all up and down, letting you walk up the stairs.

“wow, you’re famous” lia giggles at which minho huffs and shakes his head amusedly “yea, for being the only non-straight person they know”

“baby” you see jisung jump up from his seat in the spacious lounge as soon as you enter.

“hii” minho holds out his arms for him to run into, you cant stop yourself from smiling when you see jisung jump into his boyfriends arms.

“lia, y/n come over here” chris waves at the two of you.

“you were so good, baby” you hear minho praise jisung behind you as you walk over to the large round sitting booth where chan and changbin are sitting.

Lia slides into the booth and cuddles into chans side “you were awesome” she squeals as you sit down on the other end and grab a fresh glass from the middle of the round table, holding it next to changbins where he’s pouring cherry vodka into.

“can i get some?” you ask, he glances at you and smirks before silently filling your glass with a  double shots worth of the slightly rosy liquid.

“so, how did you like it?” he asks as he leans back, taking a swing of his drink.

“you guys were really good” you nod “to be honest I didn’t expect such high quality music”

He laughs, leaning his head back a little, his adams apple bopping with it.

You cant help but notice the sheer sheen of sweat that expands over his thick neck, obviously coming from their escapades on stage just now.

“what did you expect? a bunch of drunks playing wonderwall on the guitar for more drunks?” he grins, straight white teeth on display.

“hey, don’t come for wonderwall” you raise your hand jokingly at which he laughs.

“I wouldn’t dare” he raises his hands comically.

“hey” you whip your head around to see jisung and minho “scoot, please” jisung speaks again.

“oh-yea” you grab your drink and scoot further into the half circle-shaped booth.

“so what do you study?” changbin asks, his voice catches you off guard because you hadn’t calculated how close you’re sitting to him.

You turn to him to realise you’re close enough to smell his perfume and aftershave.

“uh- I- art” you answer shakily before taking a sip of your drink just to pull a face afterwards.

“jesus christ” you cough a little and hold your chest as changbin laughs.

“its stronger than you’d think” he grins “can you handle it?” he teases when your eyes get a little watery.

You stare at him for a second before playfully rolling your eyes “im good” 

His eyes trace over your face as you look around before he breaks the silence ”i can get you something else if you want” he offers.

“oh-uh no, I’m just being dramatic its fine” you chuckle.

“so...what do you study?” you change the topic.

“I’m majoring in music” he says, stretching out his arms over the backrest “all three of us are”

“oh, so you like, produce all your own stuff?” you ask, your eyes jumping to where his forearm touches your shoulder, that’s leaning against the backrest.

“yea, channie hyung composes the most, me and ji write a lot” he explains,

“thats really cool” you nod, looking over to the mentioned guy.

Changbin follows your eyes and huffs when the both of you see him and your roommate sucking face again.

After a few seconds they stop and giggle before standing up to go somewhere.

“where are they going?” you huff.

“I guess they want some alone time” he chuckles, lifting the arm close to you to take off the cap he’s still wearing.

You flinch when his forearm brushes your shoulder.

“are you scared of me?” he asks slowly, stopping his movements, cap still in hand.

“no- no” you shake your head, chuckling “I- its just been a while since I’ve gone out and I don’t know” you shrug “I feel a little lost”

“hm” changbin cocks his brow at your words, running one hand through his dark brown locks.

You divert your eyes from his bulging bicep back to his face quickly when he speaks again.

“any reason why?” he leans back again.

“oh, just a shitty ex and a shitty breakup” you shrug “I’m gonna spare you the details”

“aw, no please, tell me he had a small dick and everything, now im invested” he jokes.

You tsk at him and push his arm playfully, feigning annoyance.

“that still doesn’t answer my question as to why you jumped like that when my arm touched you” changbin raises his brows expectantly.

You open your mouth to speak but-

“we’ll go get some more to drink” minho interrupts you at which changbin nods.

“so?” he asks again, once minho and jisung leave.

“did that ex hit you? give me his address I’ll beat him up for you” changbin deadpans.

“no” you shake your head after taking another sip “he didn’t” you huff incredulously.

“its just- you look kinda scary” you blurt out finally.

His eyes widen before he falls into a boyish laughter, which you cant help but join.

“me?” he points at himself before laughing again, the image you had made up in your mind about him cracking.

“yea!” you raise your brows “when you look like this” you furrow your brows and lightly squint your eyes to mimic his resting bitch face.

“what the-” he splutters laughingly.

“stoop, don’t laugh” you hold onto his forearm, still giggling yourself.

He calms himself, subconsciously scooting closer to you in the now empty booth.

“maybe scary wasn’t the right word” you snicker, looking down.

“I think the word you were looking for was: sexy, hot or mysterious, maybe handsome-” he quips, grinning to himself when you start laughing again.

“no, no, I know what I meant” you joke back, just now noticing how close he is, his knee touching yours as his whole torso is turned to you.

“so none of my suggestions are accurate?” he cheekily raises one brow at which you scoff playfully.

“maybe one or two” you see his eyes jump to your lips.

The air suddenly feels thick around you with tension, changbins tongue darting out to wet his plump bottom lip while his eyes are still locked on yours.

You breathe in before the two of you lock eyes again "so…are you gonna kiss me, or just stare?"

He raises his brows at your sudden boost of confidence, grinning amusedly.

"what happened to me being scary?" he counters before urging you to swing one leg over his thighs with gentle hands.

You take a seat on his lap, straddling his thick thighs before looping your arms around his neck "i dont know, i think i'm into it" you quip.

His hands wander up your waist "well then i wont make you wait any longer" he grins, looking at your lips one last time before closing the gap inbetween you two.

You meet him in the middle, changbins grip on your waist tightens when his plush lips land on yours.

He pulls you closer to him, pushing his tongue past the seam of your lips.

You can taste the cherry vodka on his tongue but it riles you up even more, sucking at the wet muscle before his hands wander over the swell of your ass and each grab a handful of the flesh; your short skirt riding up when you subconsciously grind against his lap.

“be careful” he mumbles against your lips, gently tugging down the piece of fabric so you don’t expose yourself to bywalkers.

“where’s the fun in that?” you cock your head to the side teasingly.

Changbin scoffs and leans in again but you get interrupted by jisung.

“hey, we-oh” you whip your head around.

Jisungs frown turns into a grin “uh” he chuckles “we dont mean to interrupt but chan hyung texted minho and they’re going to your place” he points at you.

“ugh, seriously?” you mutter.

“I’m sleeping at minhos so, hyung you’ll have our place to yourself” he winks at changbin.

“so, we’re out too, have fun you guys” minho waves teasingly as jisung drags him away.

For a second you stare after them, until a gentle squeeze at your waist makes you turn around again.

“you could come over to my place if you don’t want to go to yours right now” he offers, eyes flickering to your lips when you bite at your lower one.

-

This is usually like not you, letting some guy you barely know take you home.

But here you are the next morning, looking up at the ceiling, changbins room flooded with daylight.

You sit up and look at the still unconscious changbin next to you. His blanket had fallen down and exposes his toned torso, barely covering his private parts.

A tingle forms in your lower abdomen when you think of what happened here a few hours ago.

But you pull yourself together and start looking around for your clothes.

You spot your bra on his desk and your skirt and shoes on the floor, gently shimmying out from underneath the blanket; you grab your skirt and slide it on without your panties, not being able to find them anywhere.

Right as you clasp your bra behind your back, changbins morning voice makes you flinch “you would’ve just snuck out?” he grumbles, rubbing his eyes as you look back at him.

“what? did you take me for a breakfast lover?” you quip as you slide into your shoes, looking around for your shirt.

“damn, that’s cold” he chuckles lowly, sitting up and watching you stride around his room.

“where did you put my shirt?” you ask, bending down to look under his desk.

“maybe you should worry about your panties first” he snickers, eyes glued to your core when you look back at him.

You kiss your teeth and straighten up quickly, having forgotten about your lack of underwear.

“not that that wasn’t a great view just now-“

“you’re not helping” you interrupt him, eyes lighting up when you spot your shirt in the hallway.

“why so serious all over sudden?” he grins “last night you were everything but tense”

You scoff as you pull your shirt over your head and stuff it into your skirt before grabbing your purse and phone.

“I have an exam in 2 days and I haven’t studied yet” you exhale.

“I could drive you home-“ he runs a hand through his messy hair.

“I’ll call a cab, uhm- thanks for last night” you hurriedly smile before walking out.

“bye” changbin calls after you, frowning and dropping back down onto his bed when he hears the door shut behind you “have a nice day I guess” he mumbles to himself.

 October

You cling your jacket closer to your body as you walk through the howling wind the seasonal change had brought with it.

When you arrive at lias faculty building you take out your phone to see if she texted you about when her lecture would be over.

lia : hey babe, chris took me to his place -received at 4:17 pm

You roll your eyes, typical you think.

you : are you serious? you begged me to walk home with you -sent at 4:25 pm

You see her the little blue bubble pop up, indicating that she’s writing a message.

lia : im sorry!! please don’t be mad, he surprised me :((( -received at 4:25 pm

You scoff and turn off your phone before slipping it in your coats pocket alongside your hands. Typical, you think, ever since that night at the club the two of them have become inseparable and lia cancelling on you had become a regular thing. You are happy for her but you also miss your friend.

“y/n?” a familiar voice calls after you right as you start to walk away, you freeze and turn around.

“yea?- oh” you swallow harshly when you see changbin walk your way.

“hey” he smiles brightly and you have to bite back a grin at the cute beanie he’s sporting alongside his slightly red nose due to the cold weather.

“hi” you smile timidly.

“you never texted” he tilts his head at which you nod.

“yea, sorry I actually never got your number” you look at the ground “uh- what are you doing here?”

“oh um im on my way to the studio” he points at a nearby building “that’s the music faculty”

“ah okay, well” you lock eyes “have fun then” you turn around again, ready to walk away.

“hey” he catches up with you “you wanna join me? check out some of our new stuff?” he burries his hands in the front pockets of his jeans.

“I don’t know, changbin I really don’t want to date right now-“ you start at which he chuckles.

“I didn’t ask you to marry me” he stops in his tracks, grinning when you do as well, locking eyes “come on, I just need an unbiased opinion on some new tracks” he tilts his head.

You inhale before looking around you “I could drive you home after? So you don’t have to walk through this weather?” he offers, raising his brows at which you purse your lips.

“alright” you give in, changbin smiles and extends his elbow for you to hold.

You simper and coyly hook your hand around his arm as the two of you start walking.

-

“this is awesome!” you point to his laptop a minute after he played the first song for you.

Changbin grins bashfully and leans back into his desk chair “you think?”

“yea, the hook is super catchy” you bob your head as his eyes fix on your profile “you’re really talented, changbin” you catch him blushing before putting on another song.

After a few other songs, he takes off his headphones when you take off yours.

“can I ask you something?” he asks, you glance at him.

“you just did” you quip at which he huffs, “sure” you nod.

“how much of that night do you remember?” he fiddles with one of the rings on his left hand.

“why?” you ask back.

“well, you seemed really upset the next morning so I got kind of scared that you didn’t actually want it and I kind of took advantage of you” he recalls the night the two of you spent together.

“oh, no. you didn’t take advantage of me, I wasn’t even  drunk and I would’ve told you if I had changed my mind or something. That was just the first time I ever spent the night at a guys house for a one night stand” you absently pick off some fuzzies from your jeans.

“plus I had just come out of a relationship so I was a little too emotional anyways” you chuckle.

“alright” changbin nods “just wanted to make sure” he smiles down at his hands “cause I remember all of it”

You whip your head, scoffing when you see him with a shit eating grin on his face.

“hm” you feign ignorance as you lean back “I don’t know, there wasn’t a lot to remember” you grin mischievously.

He laughs out loud, leaning forwards “no?”

You shake your head, pursing your lips comically “nah”

“cause I remember you shaking and screaming” he grins.

You shrug your shoulders “weird, must’ve faked it” you deadpan, fiddling with the headphones you’re still holding.

Changbins tongue prods on the inside of his cheek, huffing when he catches you grinning.

“right” he grins slumping into his seat a little further.

A thought flashes in your head when your gaze drops to his crotch and thick thighs, you swallow some spit in frustration as you feel your core getting hotter.

He was right, the night was amazing, maybe that was even part of the reason you stormed out the way you did.

You clench your thighs for some relief, anything really.

“want me to refresh your memory?” your eyes jump up to meet his, you open your mouth but nothing comes out; do you want him to?

Yes. Yes you do.

So, you get up and straddle him on his chair: his hands instantly gripping at your hips, pulling you closer.

“someones eager” he grins, pushing some of your hair behind your ear.

“shut up” you whisper before crashing your lips onto his.

Changbin groans when you tug at his hair, inviting you to slip your tongue in between his lips and grind your hips over his crotch.

He hisses before propping himself up on one armrest and holding your lower back with the other as he stands up; you squeal but he holds you before sitting you back down on the desk, next to his laptop.

“now who’s eager” you grin when his hands find the waistband of your leggings and tug them down with your panties in one.

He huffs as he bunches your leggings and panties around your ankles before slipping underneath the fabric barrier and inbetween your legs.

“by the looks of it..” he runs a finger through your wet folds “still you” he quips before pushing one finger in without warning.

You moan, you head dropping back onto the hard wooden surface.

“look at me” changbin orders as a second finger prods at your entrance, you whimper but prop yourself up on your elbows.

He curls the two fingers and pumps them almost violently, the palm of his hand smacking your clit with every pump.

“oh god-“ you yelp, your eyes scrunching together as your hips buck up.

“its changbin but god is fine too” he quips as he lowers his head, you curse at him, even though you have to laugh a little.

“you’re so annoy-ah!” you cry out because suddenly his tongue is lapping over your swollen clit, sucking on it forcefully when you claw one hand into his already messed up dark locks.

“fuck-bin- gonna cum” your hips stutter and you feel the pleasure that’s blooming in your tummy is getting ready to snap.

“mmh” he humms against you “cum then, baby” he moans, knowing full well what the added vibrations are doing to your body when your chest arches and your mouth drops open.

Your cries fill the studio as you clamp down on his fingers; he rides your through your high, holding down your hips with his unoccupied hand because you squirm with the euphoria that’s filling your veins.

“good girl” he mumbles, removing his fingers from you before bringing them up to your lips “now, suck them clean for me, yea?” he grins, lips and chin shiny with your cum.

-

“finally” you huff when arriving at 3rachas lounge in a club out of town; where they had just performed “this club is huge” you breathe, jisung scooting and changbin letting you squeeze past him to take a seat in between them as they chuckle.

Lia and chan already lost in their own world again as she drags him to the dancefloor, squealing when chan teasingly squeezes her sides as they disappear into the crowd.

“they are made for each other” minho sighs, sitting down and giving jisung the second beer from his hands.

“I know right” you lean back, breathing in.

“you’re still out of breath?” changbin laughs at you at which you hit his arm.

“stop it, oh my god” you feign annoyance “you know how exhausting it is to dodge beer bottles and not loose lia? she’s like a Chihuahua, I swear, you loose her once and its over” you chuckle, jisung and minho laughing too.

“you just don’t have any endurance, woman” changbin grins teasingly.

“that’s so not true” you laugh incredulously “what about two nights ago-“

“AH-“ jisung interrupts you, placing his hands over his ears “please spare us your sex stories, I hear enough of that when you’re over, babe”

You huff and changbins cheeks turn red.

“you guys are fucking?” minho asks, eyebrows raised as he takes a swing of his beer.

“good job keeping up, baby” jisung pats his boyfriends thigh teasingly at which he tsks at him.

“are you together or what?” minho props his elbow on the table to support his chin with his hand as he looks at the two of you expectantly.

“no, we’re not” you chuckle somewhat uncomfortably before looking over at changbin who just grins awkwardly.

“just here to be a good friend and keep the groupies away” you joke “right?” you nudge changbin with your elbow at which he nods swiftly, looking down again.

“yea, baby don’t be so old fashioned” jisung teases his boyfriend who just rolls his eyes playfully.

“speaking of groupies” minho mutters, spotting a group of girls just before they approach the lounge.

“hey jisungie, you wanna dance?” a pretty blonde girl bats her eyelashes as she leans down a bit to expose more of her cleavage, making jisung grin.

“baby, you’re gorgeous but I’m very gay” he nods apologetically, “Oh” she straightens up “really? You sure?”

You and changbin have to bite back a laugh when jisung nods again “very sure, thanks though, for coming”

She shrugs and looks at changbin “what about you? Wanna dance?”

“uh-“ changbin starts but you cut him off “he’s with me actually” you tilt your head.

“for real?” she stems her hands into her hips as she looks back at her posse, scoffing.

“yea” changbin loops his strong arm around your waist and pulls you closer to him “that’s my girl, so a little respect, please”

“aww” you coo dramatically as you play along, putting your hand on his jaw to turn his head towards you before you lock lips.

“whatever” you faintly hear the girls voice get quieter when changbin slips his tongue in between your lips.

“they’re gone” you hear minho but changbin pulls your legs to dangle over one of his thighs as he grips your waist.

“guys” jisungs voice only registers in the back of your head when changbin sucks at your bottom lip and you run your fingers through the hair on the back of his head.

“can I get you some more beers?” the waitresses voice pulls the both of you out of your trance as you break the kiss abruptly.

Jisung laughs, shaking his head at the both of you before turning to the waitress “we’ll take a round of shots I think”

  November

 “fuck-harder” you gasp “..mhh binnie-shit” you moan while changbin pounds into you from behind, gripping your hip tighter with one of his hands; the other one migrating up your back to gather the legth of your hair, twisting them before he pulls at their root.

You groan when you feel your hair getting pulled back, neck stretching as he picks up his pace.

“like this? fuck you love this don’t you?” he breaths ragged, but you can hear the dirty smirk that lingers on his lips every time you have rough sex..

You moan out loudly when he releases your hair and pushes your torso down onto the mattress, your hand pulling at the sheets , needing something to grip and release the pleasure.

“fuck- answer me, slut” he grunts and delivers a harsh slap to your ass.

You cry out “yes-yes-fuck-love it” you desperately gasp as he leans down to you, earning a low chuckle which sends shivers down your back.

His lips latch onto your shoulder blade and start sucking on the skin until a purple mark blooms under his lips.

“fuck” you let out a strangled yell when the hand on your hip makes its way to your front and he started circling your clit with his fingers, the pace and firmness matching his thrusts.

You cry out for him as you clench furiously around his cock “that’s a good girl” he whispers, only letting go of your clit when you flinch in overstimulation.

“cum for me- fuck baby, cum for me and let the others know who’s fucking you this good” he rasps in your ear. Not 5 seconds later, your orgasm ripples through you and you would’ve collapsed completely if he wasn’t holding you up.

You’re still panting when both of his hands go back on your hips and push them down, laying you flat on the mattress before he picks up his pace again with his last left strength to reach his own high.

“shit- y/n“ he grunts when you tighten around him again and you feel him filling the condom with some drawn out groans and a sharp hiss.

After a few seconds of nothing but heavy breathing filling the room, he pulls out and falls next to you on his bed.

You wince at the soreness that’s already presenting itself when you turn around on your back, looking over to him; you watch as he ties a knot in the condom and throws it into the trash next to his desk.

“kobe!” he exclaims gleefully at his perfect throw before looking back at you to see if you saw.

“jesus christ why am I sleeping with you” you hold your hands over your face, hating the fact that it made you laugh.

He gasps, feigning to be offended “that’s not how you speak to the guy that just made you cum three times”

“you are so full of yourself, seo changbin” you shake your head amusedly as you sit up.

“wait, I’ll clean you up” changbin is quick to rise from his comfortable position to grab some tissues from his nightstand.

“come here” he mumbles, gently urging you to lie back down before carefully wiping your own cum off your inner thighs and mound.

You watch him as he gently moves to wipe the tissue over your puffy folds, your hips jumping a little when he accidentally passes your clit.

“sorry” he grins, pressing a kiss to your angled knee; at which you feel your heart lurch forward a bit.

Woah, wait.

You’ve been seeing changbin just for sex for almost two months now, you’ve even gone with him other performances and after parties to keep groupies away and be his arm candy and never has your heart done this.

Mayday. Abort mission.

“should be good for now” changbin shrugs, shooting you a sweet smile before turning away from you to also get rid of the tissues.

You use the opportunity to shuffle to the side of his bed and slip on your panties before grabbing your bra.

“hey, you wanna leave already?” changbin asks “I thought we could hang” he tucks his hand under his head as you look back at him, clipping your bra closed “watch a movie or something”

“sorry, I promised lia I’d help her clean the apartment today” you lie, surprisingly quick, before pulling your hoodie over your head.

“so you’re just gonna fuck me and leave again?” he jokes dramatically “I don’t even get cuddles?”

“shut up” you chuckle.

“am I nothing more to you than a pretty piece of meat?” he continues as you slip into your jeans, rolling your eyes playfully.

“a toy you use when you need stress relief??” he holds his chest dramatically.

You step into your shoes and raise your brows at him.

“are you complaining?” you ask playfully.

“nahh” he pulls his covers over his abs as he watches you grab your jacket from his desk chair.

"At least give me a 'gopdbye, thanks for the bomb dick, kiss" He grins when you scoff at him. So, you lean over him and press a quick peck to his lips; he whines playfully when you lean back up again, sitting up and catching your lips with his roughly once more.

“alright, see ya” you shrug."

And shit, your heart does it again. What are you doing?

You break the kiss and ruffle through his hair.

“ugh” he huffs annoyedly, fixing his hair “I hope you have trouble walking” he quips as you go for the door.

“I’ll text you if I don’t” you wink at him before closing his door, leaning against it from the outside and closing your eyes.

“fuck” you whisper to yourself before making your way through the guys apartment.

“don’t break his heart, y/n” minhos voie comes from behind as you twist the doorknob.

“huh?” you trun around to look at him, he’s wearing a shirt that you know to be jisungs so he must be staying over.

“I’ve known changbin for a while, he seems tough but he’s a softie deep down” he crosses his arms over his chest “he hurts easier than you think”

“we- we’re both not in this for anything serious” you stammer “what do you mean?”

“I see the way he looks at you, y/n” minho smiles softly “I’m not telling you how to live your life, just, be honest with him… and yourself for that matter” he quirks one brow up, smiling before disappearing around the corner.

 -

 You squint your eyes as you’re trying to make out the label of the cereal boxes in the upper shelves, looking back at your phone you check to see what brand lia had texted you about so you don’t accidentally buy the wrong thing.

“fuck” you mumble when you see her desired cereal at the top of the shelf, so you reach up but to no avail.

“y/n?” you lower your heels to the floor again before turning around to see…

“hyunjin?” you face drops in awe.

“hey!” the tall young man smiles widely, opening his arms and inviting you to a hug.

“wow, hi” you hug him back.

Damn, what happened to him? The last time you saw him was before he moved away in 10th grade.

You used to be good friends with him, or, well, the freakishly skinny and lanky highschool version of him you met in dance class.

By the feel of it, even through the trenchcoat he’s wearing, you can tell he’s bulked up quite a bit.

After letting go of him, you cant help but stare.

His acne had cleared up and his brown hair is chin length with the top parts pulled back into a little pony tail, leaving some face framing strands in the front.

“wow- you look-“ you blink a few times to make sure you’re not dreaming “…really good, hyunjin”

He smiles on the ground, his pretty plump lips parting to reveal beautiful pearly whites which used to be covered by braces.

“so do you” he grins.

“no- I mean you look… good-good” you splutter, laughing awkwardly “like what are you a model now or something?”

“actually, yea- part time” he chuckles.

“oh” you huff  “wow of course” you shake your head laughingly, blushing furiously when he doesn’t break eye contact.

“so- uhm” you gulp, making him grin even wider “what are you doing here?”

“I’m transferring here” he nods “better dance programme” he explains shortly.

“oh you still dance” you observe out loud “I haven’t danced in a while” you look down.

“you should come by after practice sometime” he offers “to catch up- or dance if you want” he giggles, a little dimple appearing on his left cheek.

“yea, I’d love that” you smile, nodding before he takes out his phone.

“put in your number, I’ll text you” he smiles softly when holding it out to you.

“mhm” you agree, saving your number in his phone and trying not to think about him staring at you the whole time.

“alright well” he checks his phone for the time, you guess “I gotta get going, only came here for this” he chuckles, holding up a carton of milk that you, weirdly enough, haven’t noticed until now.

“alright” you nod before he moves in for a hug again.

“bye” he smiles when loosening his arms again.

“bye” you mumble, staring at the back of his perfect head as he walks away.

You were about to pull out your phone and rant to lia about what just happened, when he stops in his tracks and turns around.

“almost forgot” he grins, reaching up and getting your cereal from the top shelf; winking when he places it in your hands, your body freezing.

“bye” he grins, walking away before you could thank him.

-

 You had taken hyunjin up on his offer and met him in the dance studio after class where he showed you some of his contemporary pieces before you made your way to the popular coffee shop on campus together.

“-no seriously the second piece was my favourite I think, but they were all amazing!” you smile up at him at which he shakes his head cutely.

“can you stop complimenting me, y/n I’m getting all nervous” he laughs softly.

“oh please” you quip “with your talent and looks I would think nothing could make you nervous” you roll your eyes playfully.

Hyunjin huffs, opening the coffee shops door for you “you can” he says softly as you walk past him, you turn around to him to see him blush a litte but diverting his eyes to the big menu above the counter.

Did he just flirt with you? No, you must be tripping.

You look around to see only two other people sitting in one of the booths together, the cold must keep most people home, you think before hyunjin gently pulls at your sleeve to get your attention.

“what do you want?” he asks, the barista looking at you expectantly.

“uhm- a hot chocolate please” you say, reaching in your purse to get your wallet.

“I’ll take the same” hyunjin smiles politely, giving the barista money.

“on me” he smiles down at you.

“oh, thank you” you smile sheepishly, letting go of your purse again.

Once your hot chocolates are ready, you sit down in one of the booths, hyunjin sliding in to sit across from you.

“I was back home last week before I came here, you’ll never guess who I met” hyunjin grins.

“who?” you ask curiously.

“tim” he grins.

“tim?” your eyes almost pop out of your head “as in my first boyfriend tim?” you laugh, holding your hand to your face incredulously.

“but he moved away as well?” you half ask.

“yea he said he was visiting his grandparents, but guess the best part” hyunjin bites his lip

“what?” you chuckle.

“he got a nose job” hyunjin bites back a laugh when you gasp surprisedly “really?”

“one word” hyunjin says “botched…”

“aw no, poor tim” you frown, looking down at your hot drink as memories from back in the day come back to you.

“he always used to put his hand up my shirt when hugging” you frown, making hyunjin laugh.

“it was 9th grade y/n what did you expect?” you scoff at his rethorical question.

“I don’t know, some basic manners maybe?” you counter playfully…slowly letting the conversation die down as you both take sips from your cocoa.

“how come we never dated?” he asks softly after aminute of silence, looking up at you.

“we were friends?” you chuckle awkwardly.

“come on” hyunjin sits back in his booth “you must’ve known I had the biggest crush on you”

“you did?” you almost launch forwards in your seat, making hyunjin laugh.

“well, I guess you didn’t know then” he giggles, hiding his face in his hands embarrassedly.

“anyways, I would’ve paid good money to be able to slip my hand up your shirt” he jokes, cheeks reddening when you laugh.

“I honestly liked you a lot back then” you say “if you would’ve said something we might’ve actually gone out” you shrug gently.

“damn, way to rub that in my face” hyunjin grins.

You hold his eye contact for a few seconds before you feel your blood rushing to your cheeks again, quickly lifting up your mug to take a sip and partly cover your face.

When you put your mug back down, hyunjin grins widely, mumbling a “cute” before slowly bringing his hand to your chin and gently swiping his thumb over your top lip where a foam mustache had formed.

You gulp when he swiftly sucks the foam off his thumb, your eyes darting from his eyes to his lips.

When he notices, he leans over, slowly as if scared to overwhelm you.

That’s when minhos words pop up in the back of your head.

“be honest with him, and yourself for that matter”

But you aren’t together, and hyunjin is great and you want to kiss him but you know it would be wrong.

However, before you know it his lips are on yours and you’re not doing anything to stop him.

They are soft and inviting and you let him swipe his tongue over the seam of your lips, but then the little doorbell rings and you hear lias voice, followed by a male one before they abruptly stop, making you pull away abruptly.

Oh.

There they are, lia, chan, jisung and changbin; looking at you.

“y/n” lia grins widely, approaching your table “aren’t you gonna introduce us?” she squeals, hyunjin clears his throat and sits back down.

The three guys hesitantly follow lia when-

“woah- hyunjin?” chan speaks up.

“chan-hyung?” hyunjin gets up from his place to receive a hug from the older one as your eyes divert to changbin who is looking at the ground.

You aren’t together. Then why do you feel so guilty and why does he look so disappointed.

“he’s cute, girl” jisung grinningly interrupts your daydreaming, nodding towards chan and hyunjin who are still talking.

You force out a smile.

“how do you two know each other?” lia asks curiously.

“he went to my highschool, the last few years” chan grins.

“what a coincidence” you mumble, almost ironically.

“I went to highschool with y/n too, the first couple years though, then I moved away” hyunjin explains “oh, im sorry, I’m hyunjin by the way” he turns to jisung and changbin.

“I’m jisung, this is changbin” jisung smiles, pointing at his grumpy friend.

“I’m lia” lia grins “his girlfriend and her best friend” she points at chan before snuggling up to you, giggling.

Jesus, woman where do you get the energy? Is what you want to ask but you just flash another forced smile, hoping this moment will pass quickly.

“where were you guys?” you change the topic, hoping changbin would maybe look at you if you spoke up.

“oh, I caught them all huddled up in the studio” lia grins “they probably haven’t been outside in a week again” she giggles.

“true” jisung quips.

“hey lets all sit down” hyunjin suggests.

“I’ll get a coffee” changbin mumbles, walking back to the counter.

You usher lia to make way for you to get out of the booth, following him.

“bin” you stand next to him as he looks up at the menu but he ignores you.

“you could at least acknowledge my presence, your highness” you quip annoyedly.

“what do you want me to say, y/n?” he mutters.

“I didn’t know this would happen with him or I would’ve told you” you say, looking back at the other four talking and laughing in the booth.

“we’re not together y/n, you’ve made that very clear; if you wanna kiss lord farquaad go ahead, I’m not stopping you” he looks over to the booth as well.

“jesus christ” you huff “why are you so defensive then?”

“hi” changbin greets the barista who just came from the back “I’ll have an iced coffee to go, please” he orders.

“the world doesn’t revolve around you y/n, maybe I’m having a bad day” he answers when the barista makes his way to the coffee machines, you feel a lump from in your throat.

“yea, well thanks for making mine bad as well” you turn on your heels to join the others, hyunjin sees you coming back and scooches to make some space for you next to him.

You smile and thank him quietly when he also gives you your mug.

“everything alright?” he asks quietly, as to not disturb the others conversation.

“yea, just had to ask him some stuff” you smile at which he smiles back, turning back to the others.

After a minute changbin approaches the booth with his iced coffee “hey, I’ll run back to the studio I gotta finish that track”

“ugh, changbin I just dragged you out of there, stay for a second” lia protests and jisung nods along.

“nah, gotta get it done tonight” he shakes his head.

“alight see you later” chan nods.

“nice to meet you, man” hyunjin says, nodding at him as well.

“yea” changbin answers tight-lipped before walking out.

 December

”I’m sorry, hyunjin” you frown “I’m just not ready for a relationship after what happened with my ex-“

“its alright y/n” his large hand encases yours “you don’t have to explain yourself to me”

You sigh in relief “I’m sorry I tried to rush things, it just, seemed to good to be true to find you here and everything” he says.

“but I’ll wait for you, if that’s what you want” he looks up at you.

“oh, jinnie you shouldn’t have to do that” you shake your head “I’m sure there are great girls out there who are emotionally ready to be with you”

“yea, but you’re the girl I want to be with” he says softly and your heart shatters into pieces because you’re not sure he’s the guy you want to be with.

-

You fight yourself through the crowd at 3rachas last performance of the year, at the same venue where you met them for the first time. Just like the time before, chan makes sure lia, hyunjin, minho and you are able to come backstage.

“I’m excited to see you perform, man” hyunjin grins at chan, patting his shoulder “your stuff was already dope back then…” they continue speaking as you enter their dressing room.

Jisung greets his boyfriend as you and lia sit down on the leather couch.

Changbin is standing in front of the mirror, fixing his hair before his eyes lock with yours through the mirror, but he just diverts them to chan who’s grabbing a beer for hyunjin and himself, you guess.

“did you have to invite him?” changbin semi-whispers to the older one, nodding at hyunjin, chan just frowns confusedly,making changbin shake his head and walk out.

You look at hyunjin who is talking to minho and jisung, and doesn’t seem to have heard changbin. So, you get up to follow him out but lia holds your wrist “y/n you cant keep running after him” she hisses.

“he cant keep treating me like im invisible, I just want to clear the air” you free your arm and walk out to see changbin almost at the end of the corridor, walking out of a heavy door which, you think leads outside.

After reaching the door you open it to find him outside, leaning against the brick wall of the building, looking down at his phone.

The cold air hits your skin and you shiver, only wearing a top and some jeans since its warm in the club.

Changbin notices you and looks up “what do you want, y/n?” he asks.

“that was real classy back there” you comment, holding your arms to your body to preserve some warmth. Changbin huffs, unfazed as he looks back at his phone “whatever, y/n”

“no, not whatever bin” you step closer to him “he asked me to date him” his head shoots up and you lock eyes, for a second they are soft in the way they look into yours but something changes and they turn mean when he speaks again.

“so? that’s a you proplem” he shrugs.

“its not a problem at all, he’s sweet and loving and cares about me but for some reason im standing here, hoping that you’ll give me a reason to not be with him” you feel your throat closing up with anger mixed with confusion when he starts chuckling.

“you’re not serious are you?” he squints and your heart drops, tears pooling at your lashline.

“of course not, I couldn’t expect someone as stubborn and- and comunicationally incompetent like you to understand anything about feelings” you turn on your heels when a teardrop rolls down your cheek.

A hand wraps itself around your wrist, making you turn back “I’ve wanted to be with you since that moment in the club where you kissed me infront of all these girls. It was always you who was stubborn y/n, you never wanted to spend anymore time with me other than fucking” he snaps at you, taking a breather to start another sentence but you cut him off.

“-then why didn’t you say anything?” you ask quietly and he looks down.

“because- fuck” he lets go of your wrist “I didn’t want to scare you away, you in my bed was better than no you at all. But then fucking prince charming appears out of no where and sweeps you off your feet-”

“but I don’t want prince charming I want you” you blurt out, tears now streaming down your face, making him take a step back as his eyes soften.

“then why didn’t you say anything?” a small smile tugs at his lips as he closes the distance between you, gently running his hands up your arms, feeling the goosebumps brought on by the cold.

You huff, looking down and watching one of your teardrops melting a tiny hole into the snow before looking back up “because I’m stubborn and comunicationally incompetent” you sniffle “and stupid apparently” 

A grin spreads over changbins face as his hands cradle your cheeks, wiping your tears away with his thumbs “so, you wanna be stubborn and stupid together?” he whispers, locking eyes with you.

You press your lips together, trying to keep yourself from sobbing even more as you nod.

He chuckles softly ”you can stop crying now, baby” at which you nod beathing in shakily but smiling when he pushes some hair out of your face.

“can you kiss me now please” you sniffle whiningly, huffing in a laugh when he pulls a face.

“i dont know babe, you’re a little snotty right now-” he jokes.

“shut up” you hit him, chuckling when he pulls you even closer by your waist and gently connects his lips with yours.

A soft wind blows through your hair and you loop your arms around his neck even tighter, deepening the kiss at which he moans, holding your waist tighter to his body.

The door creaks open and “are you guys finally together?” minhos voice makes you break the kiss.

“yea” you grin when jisung comes out after his boyfriend.

“nice” he grins, nodding at you.

“yea yea nice, beautiful love whatever, hyung we’re up, lets go” jisung rambles, laughing and running back inside when changbin pretends to hit him, minho shaking his head and following him.

“you’ll watch me yea?” your boyfriend grins at you, taking your hand and planting a kiss on the back of it.

“from the front row, baby”

-

a/n: omg im finally done wth this took me so long yall, i started writing this sin september (which is why the fic starts in september as well lol) sorry about the winterly feelings i’m pushing onto you in the end but last week it literally snowed where i live so i was like uh?!?!?!? okay lets write some snowy shit, global warming ftw i guess....anyways i hope u liked it pls leave some feedback and/or ur favourite part ig lol i would appreciate it alot <33 (not proofred yet oopsie)

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taglist: @kpopscape​ @oopsie-whats-this​ @zhaqifa​ @synnocence​ @changlix-mp4​ + some besties who always inspire me wether they know it or not😭 @bangtantaegi @hanflix @bruh-changbin @hyunyin @yyxgin @hyunsluvv @unstableskzstan @violethhj @missskzbiased @cartierbin @dom--minnie

[sly-merlin]

KILLING ME- 14

pairing : law student!reader + yuta

genre : (fluff)  angst , mafia au/ arranged marriage au.

warnings of this chapter : cursing, mention of drugs, character death.

words : ~4k

summary :

“life’s never fair y/n. realise it as soon as you can . it is the only secret for living a regretless life.”                                  

or            

“ curiousity got the cat hitched”

K.M masterlist

K.M 13

TAGLIST : @kpop-choco @moon-yuta @kawaiiayasan @btm-taeyong @exfolitae @lanadreamie @cheersskznct ​​ @hyuckiesgf ​​ @theworld-accordingtocasey ​​@simplybree

@yiyi4657 @sorrywonwoo @sillywinnergladiator   @minejungwoo @leesalts @mal-nakamoto23 @ro2424 @itlittlefangirl @nctzens-world @bl–ankhaeji @jeaneteflo @nuoyii @bralessmermaid @minhoseyeliner @tyongpoetry @swimmingkpopblog @jkjkseo @orphicmoon @floralescapes

A/N : this chapter marks the celebration of this blog surpassing 600 followers! thank you so much for all the support! also for minor readers, the sfw versions of nsfw chapters are given at the end of the masterlist so check those properly before reading.

•••••••••••••

y/n! Are you sleeping?”

Registering his words, you replied in a groggy voice,“What the fuck do you want?”

“Your phone. I left mine in the medical room. I need to call Mark right now.” with some authority, he spoke.

Whining loudly, you fell back on the bed. It was only due but flailing your arms and legs like a kid in a toy store, you let out a screech full of annoyance, cursing your fate.

Were you really going to babysit him now?

"Have you suddenly lost your hearing? Stop with this sick attitude and open the door."

A puff of air left your nose, your chest moved rhythmically with your stomach and you relaxed your arms beneath your head, eyes fixed at the fan above and ears ringing with his voice. He kept calling you and after a number of shouts, you started humming to distract yourself, afraid that you'd end up helping him otherwise. That was something, naturally, you were not interested in. Last time he had ignored your voice and now nature had presented you with an opportunity to return the favour. Just with a bit less flavour.

"Are you dead?"

"Hmmm. To you, yes I am." Mumbling, you yawned and pushed yourself up to reach your side table and fishing out your earphones from the bottom drawer, you untangled them and fixed them comfortably in your ear, hiding yourself underneath the sheets.

Sonata no.14 instantly transported you away from the noise and the stress that was your unwanted husband, yuta. The smile playing on your lips widened as you realised that you were his only mode of communication at the moment.

But You were going for a nap. Until then, he could wait. And thrash. And cry. Or die.

Rubbing the sleep out of your eyes, you rotated the handle of the door to walk outside but your little trip was interrupted when your body collided straight into a wall. No. The obstruction was too soft for a wall.

Opening your eyes properly, you saw yuta standing stiff. Surprised at the sudden appearance, you immediately stumbled back and in hurry, hit your spine on the wooden door. The glare of his eyes, that always spoke more than you could comprehend, coupled with a clenched jaw, was not a very pleasant sight for sure yet you found it harder to dart your own eyes away from him.

"Your phone" he seethed, breathing deeply.

"Huh?" You croaked out.

He raised his brow and in an instant, the previous scenario played like a short movie in your head. Snapping your head down, you regarded his leg with pity. He obviously noticed it immediately but seemed to ignore it and refrained from saying anything. Good for you, you thought.

"Are you deaf?"

Your furrowed brows met his eyes and with a roll of his own, he picked up his finger to force his demand but you managed to walk back inside your room before he could've done that.

Your back faced him as you contemplated your options while slowly stretching your arm to reach for your phone on the other side of the bed.

should you even be giving him your phone?

You had more trust in Taeyong than the man you shared a roof with so there was no way you were doing that.

Unbeknownst to you, yuta was watching your movements intently and the way you bobbed your head, he knew you were scheming something so he decided to be polite for a moment. Only until you were needed. Or your phone was needed.

Once the phone was in your hand, another thought crossed your mind.

"Wait. Where is the house phone?" Crossing your arms, you asked him slyly, already knowing the answer

"You fucking never got it installed. It's still in its stupid package" he seemed rather impatient.

"And you could've called reception through the door telecom. He would have phoned Mark for you. These rich apartments certainly have more hospitality tha-

"I CAN'T GO AROUND DISTRIBUTING AN UNDERGROUND CRIMINAL'S CONTACT NUMBER TO EVERYONE"

He inhaled and exhaled and you just watched until he opened his eyes again, hand reaching out to you.

"Chill. I've every right to be sceptic especially when you are the one asking for it."

Finding Mark's number on your phone, you called him.

Yuta's hand threaded through his rough hair as he noticed what you were trying to do.

"Hey mark!" Your chirpy voice resounded in the room and yuta was sure this was some different spirit speaking. You sounded too bubbly for the way you were investigating him just a second ago.

"Yes yes. His phone exactly.i don't trust him enough to hand over my phone so that's why I'm calling you myself. Just hurry up if you can or you might have to clean up a dead body in the next few hours."

With that you cut the phone. Without meeting yuta's gaze and resting your hand on the handle, you mumbled,

"He'll be here in an hour."

You were about to close the door when he stopped it with the palm of his hand, alerting you with the force.

"Tell him to get some food too."

And limping, he retired back, to the couches.

Sighing, you messaged mark. Had it been for something else, you'd have ignored but your own stomach had signalled you that it needed some good food so you chose not to fight against your own body.

Now, only the taste of the food could decide how many days you were going to tolerate that barbaric human.

"Are you still going to that stupid internship?" Johnny hesitantly murmured from your desk chair while taking big bites from the plate.

"It's not stupid please! I’m just waiting for them to actually pay attention to my awesome capabilities so they can transfer me to the main branch. This is not bad either but”, you stopped to lick your forefinger and tasting the sauce, continued, “but I really wanna go into the criminal unit. That’s where the actual fun is. As long as i’m being paid decently, i’ll suffer with the stupid research work here.”

“With the tongue as sharp as yours, I think you should be getting ready for a demotion instead” he laughed, showing you his fake bunny teeth in the most annoying and childish way.

“Ha ha ha ha. Some well wisher you are! Thank you so much for looking out for me but I'll be fine. Who knows the gatekeeper’s pay package is more than me. So it’d be a win-win in that case too I guess?” when you did a drum roll with your chopsticks to stress upon your point, he laughed harder.

"So being broke is the new black?" Rolling his eyes, he dragged out, "I swear you kids don't know how this world works."

"And you, grandpa of the century, knows?"

"I'm aware of what I need for my survival and from what I've learnt, you can either take risks or look for job security. In your case, " he fake coughed, "where the proportions of risk taking have already exceeded the acceptable limit, a job security is the best and safest option to choose."

"And that would justify my greed and desire to work for the biggest company of this city."

"Kun. The security you need and the independence you seek would be given by kun. Chois are hmm how to say? Cheap? Yeh cheap. They have no work ethics. "

"Have you worked with them, johnny?"

"No. I'm ju-

"Then was your ex a choi?" You saw his eyes comically and cutely widening at your remark.

"No. My ex wasn't a choi and that's not what I'm saying and you know that."

"Oh. So your ex wasn't a choi. Then a lee? Kim? Im? Oh my god! Look at your cheeks seo!" You dragged out. He shook his head as you kept wiggling your brows at him.

"She was a kim but that doesn't mean I would hate all kims dude. That's baseless and stop ignoring the topic. I want you to apply in Kuns. It's the best option. Do it as soon as you-

"Yeah yeah we'll see about that. First take that bitch back. I can't even nap in his presence. "

"Umm. Yeah. You gotta tolerate him. And besides he's injured. Injured yuta is like a gun without a bullet. He's gonna shout for a day or two and then peace out. He'll be sleeping and reading in his room and you won't even know if he's alive or not."

"Now that's bullshit. What is he going to do here anyway? I hope he can hop himself on one leg because even if the sun rises from the north, I am not going to do a single task for him. He can die hungry , for all I care.”

“Do you think you can endure him for some tasty dinners?”

Clicking your tongue, you quipped, “Do you really think you can buy me with a few homemade meals?”

Day 1

Yes. you were sold. The moment the tasty noodles had melted in your mouth, you knew you had no dignity. And you were indeed ashamed of yourself.

Earlier, Renjun had called you to inform you that he had delivered the food and medicines for yuta and had left your dinner box but he had failed to mention the special and endearing note that was pasted on the glass box. In the curvy letters, it read bitchy piglet and you swore the only person you’d be killing before yuta would be jaehyun. But you were going to use jaehyun to build up your tolerance instead.

When you went out to clean your dishes, he was playing some game on his phone, excitement evident from the way he was laughing every other second. Maybe if he remained occupied, he would not be so insufferable.

Day 3

"Oyii! Oyii!"

No. You were wrong. He was very very much insufferable.

At midnight, his voice echoed, disturbing your sleep. You cursed at the cool atmosphere that had prevented you from using the air con which otherwise would have blocked his annoying screeches. But it seemed like bad luck wanted to change its name to y/n instead. With your name being called like a broken record, it was a fight between you and him that you were not going to lose. Shuffling to your side, you covered your ears with the other pillow and tried to drown out the annoyingly demanding and hoarse voice. There was no way you were giving him the satisfaction of having any power over you. He could cry for all he liked!

“What the fuck do you want at this hour?”

Attempting a glare at him through sleepy lids, you spewed with irritation. Unlike you, he was very much awake, breathing with the sole purpose of making you question your whole existence.

“Pillow” scratching his non-existent beard, he mumbled.

Your nostrils flared and jaw clenched at such inconvenient command.

“You summoned me for a pillow? A pillow that can normally be found on a person’s bed? Can you please rectify your demand or did I just simply hear something wrong?”

The opened curtains and the moonlight that drenched the room was the only source that illuminated his face for you and even with drooping eyes, you could see how serious he was and yet you couldn't hold your tongue back because he simply deserved every shit you bestowed him with.

“Turn the lights on and count the pillows on my bed! And when you are done, get me some pillows from your room.” he simply stated.

“Why should i give you my pillow? I need them!”

“Because I don't use a pillow and I need it asap!”

“Then why do you suddenly need one? To disturb my sleep? Oh that makes sense.” and suddenly, your eyes had synced with your body to side with your fight mode.

“I need them for elevating my leg. The bandage is too tight and it’s not comfortable.”

“Then why don't you walk out of the room and get some cushions for yourself!” you raised your volume.

“Because my leg is in pain and i’m unable to get up? What makes you think I'm dying to see your ugly face at this time of the night. I dont wanna have nightmares of you as well but i can't help it ok!”

“you should have kept them near you. And who are you calling ugly hmm? You poop fac-

“Okay scream for all you want! But get me a pillow when your battery dies down!”

“What the fuck d- are you covering your ears? Wow ways to be generous!”

Stomping your foot, you left the room to get the hardest cushion on the couch.

“Here! Next time call Mark if you want anything. Don’t raise your voice ever again to call me because unlike you, i have work in the morning and hence I need some sleep..”

Just when you were about to leave after shoving the cushion in his hand, he spoke up again,

“This is damn hard! I asked for your pillow specifically and not th- AHH!”

A scream left him as you harshly removed the support , leaving his leg to painfully meet the mattress.

“How about you fix your attitude before fixing your leg?” suggesting, you dropped the cushion on the floor and left.

He didn't call you after that. Nor that you cared. However, the sleep in your eyes somehow vanished. Dancing on your sides didn’t help. Neither did drinking a glass of water. So, with a groan, you listened to your conscience and picked up your extra pillow that was sadly too perfect for your enemy.

Padding to his room, you tried your best to scrutinise and hearing his heavy snores, you placed the pillow right under his thigh and the cushion under his calf. Scoffing at his sleeping figure, you internally groaned to remind yourself that you hadn't done it for him. It was just a debt. For the blanket he had once covered you with. Nothing more and nothing less.

Day 5

You just wanted him out of your hair. He was just being a load on your head. At first, only the work was kicking your ass, then jungwoo was kicking you like a punching bag for an hour straight and adding to your distress was yuta.

"I'm not your maid! Stop piling up the dishes for me. I've had enough mercy on you. From today onwards, get a cleaner for yourself or buy disposable cutlery. I'm not going to clean after you!"

With a roll of his eyes, he had ignored you.

And so did you. Pasting a warning note on the sink tap, you had left for the library with a dying hope that maybe the kitchen would be spotless on your arrival or you'd be dialing some numbers in the evening.

For someone who despised the solemn atmosphere of libraries, you had successfully spent 11 hours in the said hellish room. It was 11 p.m and you wanted to sleep, more than anything but here you were, waiting for yugyeom so he'd just pick you up for a good drinking session that you were dying to have.

Fortunately, you weren't the only one who had missed living these past days. Everyone, for different reasons, was suffering so you felt a little less bad for yourself even though you knew your troubles were far more grave than their academic burdens.

"Wake up shorts" someone whispered in your ear. Squirming on your seat, you whipped your head in your sleepy state and found jungkook caressing your head, goofily smiling at you.

"I thought you wanted to hang out till the next morning" air quoting the last words, he picked up your bag.

"Yeah. Let's go. I'm all ready for a night full of vodkas." You yawned out.

"Definitely. No. You are going home. We can have a small get together me and yuggy are done with our final project." He dragged you out into the parking lot.

" I feel like it's been years since we got drunk together. You are never here anymore!" You whined at him, complaining your heart out.

"I will be. Soon. Then we can celebrate your little choi job as well."

"Oh please. Don't even mention it. If I had penny for every time they rolled their eyes at me, I'd be richer than your parents kook." You huffed out and as his gentle laugh surrounded you, you closed your eyes resting your back against the seat, expecting to be up by the time he'd park.

But the next day, you woke up tangled in the sheets of your bed, unaware of the events of the previous night.

When you had warned yuta about the dirty dishes, you hadn't expected him to fill the corners of the kitchen with disposable containers. It looked like you had missed a whole drama while sleeping in the library. The kitchen was shining except for the new utensils. But as long as you were not babysitting him, you were fine with anything. You didn't want to jinx your relief, however, you were glad you would be able to get some work done. finally.

You had spoken too early for your own good. Just when you sat down to write your paper, passionate and enthusiastic howls of that man pierced through your earphones and once again, you opened the window and hopped outside, in the balcony, ready to drown him out. Sipping on your lemonade, you gaped at the scenery the not so distant traffic provided you with and somehow, your thoughts wandered to the only person these horns reminded you of. Johnny.

What are you doing? Your fingers hovered over the text but once again, you deleted the message, declaring it to be too childish for someone as mature as him. Maybe you were just being silly. Maybe you were not. But who was going to put a stamp on your maybe?

Tears pricked your eyes as the harsh words of your senior thundered in the room. He kept shouting and you had no option than to consume each and every word he directed at you. Even if you were being insulted in front of your twenty other co-workers, staying quiet was the best option, you ascertained. so along with your saliva, you gulped your explanations down your throat.

Howsoever unconscious, you were still in the wrong. There was no excuse as to why you had mailed the wrong bills, apart from the headache that was caused by the person possibly lying on the sofa and watching t.v back home. No matter how much you tried to run away from his existence, he had somehow managed to let himself inside your head.

Glaring at the kid who asked for his turn on the park swing, you pushed yourself a little higher, letting the wind greet your stinging eyes as it hit your face in waves. Your phone buzzed in your pocket and you chose to ignore jungwoo for a day as it was the time, you decided, to let all the lessons that the past few months had taught you sink into your mind, to bleed into your soul so you won’t ever be able to deviate from them. Ever.

Only if that was so easy. You knew blaming others for your problems was no solution but trivialising them by not paying heed wasn't a smart move either.

When you reached home, your frustrations had died down. So when yuta simpered and pointed towards your empty container, telling you how he had already finished your supposed dinner, you simply rolled your eyes at him, robbing him of whatever he wanted to achieve by riling you up. Heating up the water, you were about to open the noodles packet when yeong called you.

You stared at the shattered phone screen in disbelief as the endless tears ran down your cheeks. As you verbalised the words to yourself again, your body met the floor with a thud.

Jungkook. Drugs. No more.

Three words had silenced the screeches in your head and your mind busied itself in rejecting what you had heard for it had to be a lie. But what how were you going to ignore the heart wrenching screams that yeong had let out. How were you going to dismiss the truth.

How were you all going to accept it?

••••••••••••••••

next update: Some day between 5-7 June.

[sunaswife]

Summary: It’s been five years since you’ve seen your ex, Rin. He’s still not over you and you’re not over him. When he finds out you have children he thought he didn’t have a chance. Then he finds out they’re his? All of a sudden you’re teaching Suna how to be a single dad.

🔪: hi I’m sorry for not updating and it’s been a little over a month but shit happened and I had no motivation! I am doing my best (•̀ᴗ•́)و

Warnings: Fluff, angst I guess, drama, and cuteness twin overload

Previously Up Next Masterlist

Chapter fifteen

“No Rin.” “Please.” “No Rin.” “But babeeeee.” Suna whined, he held out his EJP jersey in his hands. “Fine just this once, I don’t want anyone coming in.” You said and he nodded, you turned around and began to take off your sleeping shirt and Rin pouted, “Babe gimme a show.” He whined once more. You turned with your chest covered and threw your sleeping shirt which landed perfectly on his head.

You put on the cold jersey and saw how it still looked like a dress even though you have gained so much weight. Probably because Rin has gained so much muscle. You turned to face him and his mouth stayed hung open, you giggled and neared him. You rested your hands on his thighs and gave his cheek a small peck. “You okay there?” You asked. His arms wrapped around you and he lifted you on the bed like a rag doll. “Why” kiss “are you” kiss “so” kiss “beautiful?” Kiss.

“Stop being so cute then my heart can’t contain it.” You scolded as you brushed your fingers through his short hair. “Mommy...daddy?” You both heard behind the door, the doorknob slowly twists and you push Rin away, he falls off the bed and lands on the floor, right on his ass. The door opens and you see Rini there, “What’s wrong?” You asked him, “My tooth.” He said. “What about your—oh he’s bleeding—“ Rin said. “Take him to the bathroom and rinse his mouth, I’ll check out his mouth after I change.” You told Rin and he nodded. He carried Rini to your bathroom and helped him rinse his mouth. You quickly changed out of his jersey and put on the shirt from before. “Alright lemme see.” You said as you walked in. Rini was sitting on the counter with his mouth opened, sure enough he had a loose tooth and was too afraid to pull it out. There was nothing you can do but wait for it to fall off by itself, you wouldn’t dare to traumatize him by pulling it out yourself.

You carried the boy back to his room and saw Chewy sleeping on Akira’s bed. He woke up due to the noise and sensed Rini’s slight discomfort over his loose tooth. He carefully jumped off and yawned. With ease he climbed on Rini’s bed and cuddled with him. You tucked them both in and kissing Rini’s head goodnight you made your way out to an annoyed looking Rin watching TV. His arms are crossed over his chest and you can clearly see his flexed muscles. You both were about to go to sleep so it didn’t make sense for him to start watching TV. “Aren’t you going to bed?” You tilted your head.

“Not anymore.” He replied a little coldly. “What’s wrong?” You asked with a small pout, “Nothing..” he replied, you sighed and sat next to him on the couch, “doesn’t seem like nothing, did I do something?” You asked but he stayed quiet. “Rin we gotta have communication, if you don’t tell me what I did wrong then I can’t fix it.” You said. “Why are you so hesitant to let people know we’re together? Are you ashamed of me? Is that it? Why do we have to hide our relationship from our own children.” He asked and it finally clicked, “I told you I’m just a little hesitant but I realized now that I shouldn’t have to hide our relationship. I’m sorry now I seem like such a big jerk.” You sighed and you laced your fingers with his. “I get that you’re hesitant but maybe we should at least tell our kids and then slowly tell our friends? You’ll be surprised by the number of messages I get from the twins asking if I made a move yet.” He said and you couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Okay, we’ll tell the kids.”

“Bye I’m off!” Rin said at the front of the door, the kids automatically stopped what they were doing and ran to see their dad off. You followed behind them and Jamie yelled out her farewell since she was on bed rest. The kids hugged their dad and said their goodbyes and you waited to give him a kiss on the cheek and then expect to get bombarded with questions by the twins. You weren’t expecting him to hold your face and kiss your lips in a deep and loving way. You heard gasps and began smacking Rin’s arm because you couldn’t breath and he wouldn’t let you go. He finally pulled away and you punched him and called him a jerk, immediately the kids began asking questions and running around you as Rin laughed and waltzed to his car.

They couldn’t help but notice your dumb smile.

So this is love?

They wondered and smiled in amazement. You realized it was quiet and you looked down to see the kids staring, your cheeks flushed up. “Mama you’re in deep huh?” Akira asked, “Akira how do you know what that even means?” You asked, “Aunt Jamie.” She smiled. “Jamie I swear to god.” You growled as you made your way to the living room. She was sleeping with her hand over her baby bump. You sighed and put a light blanket over her. “Aunt Jamie is resting so don’t make too much noise, it’s hard for her to sleep with the baby inside since they won’t stop kicking.” You told the kids and they nodded.

“Humpty dumpty had a great fa—“ you were interrupted when your phone rang. Akira was asleep already in her crib but Rini couldn’t sleep so you tried reading so some books to him that your aunt donated. “Hello?” You answered without checking the caller ID, “Y/N..” you heard Jamie’s wobbly voice and you immediately sat up on your futon. “What’s wrong?” You asked, “H-he hit me a-again...” she stuttered. “Where are you?” You asked, voice filled with concern “I’m at home but he left with his buddies to go drink again..” she sniffled. “I’m on my way.” You said and she hung up, you made her promise to call the cops in case he came back. You grabbed the baby carriers and carefully placed Akira in, you were glad she was still asleep. “Come on Rini, let’s go see aunt Jamie okay?” You asked and he giggled. You exited your apartment with a carrier in each hand, their diaper bag, your wallet inside their bag, and a metal baseball bat that Tobio gave as a safety gift.

You drove past your crappy neighborhood and eventually entered Jamie’s nice and fancy neighborhood. You passed a fancy car after another fancy car but your heart almost fell out of your butt when you saw his car. You went into the drive way and quietly pulled the garbage can behind his car in case he made a getaway. You were tired of this sorry excuse of a man hurting Jamie and you were going to do whatever it takes to make sure he’s locked behind bars. You left your babies inside the car, you wouldn’t do this at all but it was nighttime and nobody was around. You locked the car and walked with your bat to the front door. You unlocked the door with the key Jamie gave you and slowly walked in.

“Are you an idiot?! You fucking good for nothing I swear!” You heard his yelling, immediately you called the police in case Jamie couldn’t, you didn’t respond in case they’d talk you out from trying to save your friend. “Don’t you fucking touch me!” You heard Jamie yell. “You’re my fiancé I can touch you however I want.” He growled. “I said no!” She yelled once more. You closed your eyes and prayed to whatever God out there to help you out. Your prayer was interrupted by glass breaking and another scream. You immediately turned to the kitchen where the noise was coming from and saw the 6”2 man hovering over Jamie who was on the floor sitting against the wall, you almost fainted at the blood and dark liquid you assumed was wine, and your anger rose when you saw her hand over her eye. She was obviously in pain. In his hand was the broken wine bottle. He lifted his arm once more but you blacked out and swung the bat. You hit his side and he growled in pain. He turned to see you and his eyes darkened. “You fucking bitch, this is all your fault. If you haven’t became friends with her worthless ass then maybe she wouldn’t have tried to leave me.” He seethed. He made his way to you and before you can defend yourself with another swing the police had barged in and listened to everything.

Jamie was taken to the hospital and was released in the early morning. Tobio helped you moved her stuff out because she suffered a broken wrist and a fractured leg. Your tiny studio apartment couldn’t hold all her things so she had to pay for a storage unit. You couldn’t help but laugh at the look on her face when she saw how empty your home truly was. You slept on the floor in a futon while your kids slept in cribs. You couldn’t afford dressers so you kept their clothes folded neatly on bookshelves. There were baby toys everywhere but no TV. No couch, no alcohol, no nothing.

“Welcome to my home.” You did your little jazz hands, she chuckled and smiled. “Thank you for everything.” “No problem, I know it isn’t much but just for a bit until the trial is over okay?” You said and she nodded. You placed the kids in their cribs and fixed the futon you were sleeping on. “You can sleep here.” You patted, she nodded and made her way over with her crutches. “Do you have another futon?” She asked. “Yeah I’ll pull it out right now.” You said and she nodded. You helped her down and tucked her in. “You’re the only friend who decided to help me.” She spoke suddenly, catching you off guard. “All of my other friends could care less whether I died or not, they’d probably fight over who can keep my clothes.” She said with a dry chuckle. “I appreciate you yn, thank you.” She said and closed her eyes.

You looked at your best friend completely passed out and reminisced I’ve show much you’ve both grown. From enemies to besties.

“Don’t forget they have a limit of 5000 yen.” You warned Tobio and he rolled his eyes. “Yeah yeah, whatever lemme spoil my niece and nephew in peace.” He argued and you sighed. “Just don’t buy them slime, please.” You practically begged. “That was the first thing they asked when I arrived.” He said as he buckled them in their seats.

Once in a while Tobio loved taking them out to give you a break and you appreciated that so much. When Tobio entered your home to grab a quick water, Rin’s car was pulling up and you were slightly nervous as to what could happen. You haven’t exactly told Tobio you were dating Rin again, and Tobio totally flipped when he found out Rin was moving in.

You had told Rin that Tobio wanted to take the kids out for the day and he was a little hesitant, not because he didn’t trust Rin but he wondered if they liked Tobio more than him. He understands he was like a father figure to them and he knows that he’s not on Tobio’s good side. He’s also jealous because he hasn’t taken them out for a father and child day as well. He would love to go to the mall with them and spend money on useless shit. You’d be angry but he’s sure he can handle it.

Rin parked his car and took out his gym bag, he also took out a bag of some thick ass pads, aloe Vera gel and a bottle of something called witch hazel and he made sure it was the alcohol free kind per your request over text. At least you were kind enough to send him pictures so he’s not wandering around the store like a fool.

He was confused about the pads because you use a thinner pad when you’re not using tampons and wondered if your vagina got bigger because you gave birth. But he thought that you feel the same as always so he’d rather ask then overthink things.

“Welcome back Rin.” You smiled as from across Tobio’s car, “Thanks.” He said simply and leaned in to give Akira a kiss on the head, he went around to do the same to Rini and then he pulled you close for a small kiss. “Well what do we have here? I know y’all are together but this was the first time I’ve seen y’all kiss.” Jamie said as she stepped out. You both flinched thinking it was Tobio and Jamie laughed, “Don’t worry he’s in the bathroom. But when are you planning on telling him? You can’t hide your relationship forever.” She rested her hand on her hip.

“I don’t know to be honest.” You sighed and leaned against Tobio’s car. “Maybe he should warm up to me first before we tell him?” Rin asked, “If it isn’t Suna Rintarou.” Tobio walked out of the house. Rin stood straight and gave a slight bow, “Thank you for being there for yn and the twins when I was gone. It’s nice to finally meet you.” He tried to be as respectful as possible.

Tobio crossed his arms over his chest with raised brows, “I can’t say the same for you.” He spat and you felt a pang in your chest. Tobio looked so angry. “Tobio, he’s doing his best. He’s been nothing but respectful and helpful around the house and with the kids.” You explained, “Look, I get that you’re hopeful and forgiving but he ruined your life—“

“He gave me the twins—how is that ruining my life?” You defended. Tobio rolled his eyes, “Whatever, I don’t wanna fight.” He mumbled and you nodded. You stepped away from the car so he can finally take the kids and as he passed by Rin, he purposely bumped his shoulder. You were about to say something but Rin just shook his head and brushed him off. “Bye Tobio, I’ll see you after.” You said but he just mumbled a bye and glared at Rin.

He soon left and Jamie broke the silence, “Yeah so he definitely hates Rin.”

“No shit Sherlock.” Rin sighed and rubbed his temples. “He’ll probably strangle me and give me an earful if I tell him now. We just gotta keep it a secret a little while longer.” You said and they nodded in understanding.

Rin went to shower as you began cooking and Jamie went on a livestream for a bit. She was playing music from your TV which wasn’t pg so you let I slide since the kids weren’t here. “Hey yn do you remember any cheer drills from highschool?” Jamie asked as you turned off the stove to let the food cool for a bit, “Um...not really but didn’t you guys used to do spins and stuff? I saw it a lot during the volleyball games.” You answered, “Yeah you’re not helping but thank you.” She smiled as she put her phone in front of a water bottle. You shook your head and tried not to laugh at he sarcasm.

She took a few steps back to try to recreate an old cheer, obviously she couldn’t jump or do high kicks but it was funny to see her try and you made sure to keep an eye on her in case she overworked herself. You turned back to your task for a split second when the rice cooker beeped. Jamie squatted—well she tried and suddenly she felt a splash down her legs. She gasped as she saw her mustard yellow skirt now wet. “YN—“ she slightly raised her voice in a small panic. “Yes?” You immediately asked and walked to check on her, “My water broke.”

“Lies.”

“This doesn’t smell like pee.”

You were immediately at her side in order to help get her ready for a trip to the hospital. “Are you feeling any contractions?” You asked and she shook her head, “I feel fine.” She replied. “Turn off the livestream.” She said and you quickly turned off her phone. “Okay we’ll call the midwives and see what we need to do for you.” You said and she nodded. You immediately called the midwives and they asked what happened until Jamie winced and groaned. “Jamie, what’s wrong? Do you feel it now?” You asked and she nodded. “Yeah if we don’t leave now I’m having the baby in your house.” She sighed.

The midwives agreed to meet at the hospital with you and you tried your best to guide Jamie to the car. “Rin!” You yelled, he immediately stumbled out of the bathroom wearing some basketball shorts and a t shirt, his usual stay at home wear. “Take her to the car and I’ll go get her bag, her water broke.” You instructed quickly. He was quick to carry her, causing Jamie to smack him when he made a face that he can feel her ‘pee’ after he just showered.

He carefully placed her in the passenger seat of his car since it was smaller and he saw you rush out of the door. “Hnnnnnnn. Fuck my pelvis—“ she groaned and began taking deep breathes.

“Please don’t give birth in my car.”

“Shut the fuck up, Rintarou.”

You kicked Rin to the backseat with Jamie’s bag much to his dismay and you reversed and made your way to the hospital which was about a good twenty minutes away. He called Hana who happened to be on her way back already because she finished business early.

Halfway through the drive Jamie asked to hold your hand for comfort. You’ve done it before, when she faced her ex in trial, when she started a new makeup line or product, before she had an event, before her wedding with Hana. You were always there. “I’m scared.” She mumbled as she looked out the window, “It’s okay to be scared, I was scared when I was in labor.” You replied. “Who was with you?” She asked, “Tobio, and my aunt. Miwa and Hana came when I returned home.” You answered as you stopped at the red light. “Not even your mom?” Her voice cracked, “Nope, not even her. I did call to let her know I was due soon but she just called me names so I hung up.”

Rin looked down at his hands and he rubbed the sweat from his palms on his shorts. It hurt listening to this, if only he didn’t change his number, if only he didn’t lie to you, if only he never laid eyes on you.

If only he never met you.

Tobio was right.

How can you say he didn’t ruin your life when these past five years have been nothing but hell. When you were out of the house and Rin was home with Jamie and the kids he would ask Jamie what happened the last five years because he knew she wouldn’t sugarcoat anything.

He felt a jab in his chest when he heard about all the negative things, and no matter how many positive things Jamie said happened. It was never good enough for him to forget all the shit he put you through.

And that’s why he’s so clingy now, that’s why he’s happier and eager to help and please you in whatever way he can to make up for all this lost time where he should have been by your side. He’ll prove to Tobio and anyone else that he’s good enough for you, that he can be trusted and that he truly loves you.

Funfacts!

I’m sorry I forgot to do this in the last chapter please forgive me 🧎

The kids are happy that their parents are together and they started drawing their family portraits with you two holding hands

Rini accidentally swallowed his tooth in his sleep and cried that the tooth fairy would give him money but Rin made sure to sneak money under his pillow the next night

Jamie’s ex is still in prison and is pissed she left him for a woman (but we stan Hana)

I know same sex marriage isn’t legal in Japan but once again this is a fanfic so I make the rules 🧍

Rin is actually scared of Tobio

But Rin is more scared of Hana

Rin wants to procreate with yn wearing his EJP jersey 🧎 daddy please

Tobio likes to spoil his niece and nephew a little too much. Yn always has to warn him or scold him. Tobio almost bought Rini a real sword because he liked it so much.

Rin is pretty jelly of Tobio’s relationship with his kids and wants to know his secrets

This is Jamie’s 3rd pregnancy, the first was with her ex but his little swimmers were too weak, and the second..y’all already know 😔 if not then reread chapter 1 when yn scolds Jamie for chasing after the kids

After the baby is a year old then Hana will try to get pregnant with the same donor that Jamie had

Idk if I told y’all already but Tobio is the donor 🧐

The thick pads and stuff that Suna got was for YN to make padcicles for Jamie.

Also I am very hungry

🏷: @therealwalmartjesus @differentballooncollection @aaesuki @atsunflower @dope-squish @prettysetterboiss @june-phantom @austriasmariazelle @xrnia @katsulia @aprettyfruit @shut-your-eyes-kiss-me-goodbye @tvbiio @sun-daddy-yoriichi @kamenoyaki @ppangiiroo @loeyprivvv @kmskj92 @lovinnoya @sarahvvictoria @tris-does-stuff @mokkeguts @sunaluvr6969 @bara-rose-would @sempiternal-amour @volleybloop @leykyuu @bokutoichigo @stfucanunot @iloveanime691 @atsumusdomain @ohrintarou @shoutosimp @mqrinqcele @bokutosdivineass @anngelllla @toworuu @hidden-otaku-stuff @seijohiselite @caxsthetic @aquariarose @hhwanggu @bakuhoetoedoroki @yoozuku @osamus-onigiri @akaashi-todorki @donica95 @kakaokenma @airheadpillar

[redsandroses]

Jealousy

Warnings: smut, a little exhibitionism, a pinch of angst and some softness at the end

Pairing: changbin x female reader + some Chan on his own

word count: 1535

You and Changbin had an on and off relationship. You loved him so much and he made you feel loved but there is something you two couldn’t figure out. And that was your friendship with Chan. Bin knew you two had a “thing” back in your college days and you also made sure he knew it was over, but he didn’t seem to believe it, for some reason. Maybe it was because you worked with Chan so you had to see him everyday and there were moments you two needed to work alone.

And today was one of those days. Your boss gave you two a presentation due to three days later, which meant you needed to be with him nearly 24/7 for three days. For the first day you decided it would be better if he came to your place where Changbin can be next to you, so he won’t worry about you two being alone.

When Chan came, you hugged him and showed him your study room. You were preparing your stuff and Changbin grabbed you by your wrist and kind of shouted “What the hell was that y/n?” “What was what?” you asked surprised. There was nothing wrong. “You hugging Chan, what  the hell was that all about?” You cupped his face. “Binnie, there’s nothing you should worry about. You honey, are the only one I love and the hug was nothing. everyone hugs each other. It’s not like he touched me inappropriate or I kissed him.”

He took a step back. You could see the anger in his eyes. He clearly wasn’t pleased with one of the things you just said. “Would you like to kiss him y/n? Would you do that like the old times?” You couldn’t deal with this right now, not when Chan was here. “No Changbin, I wouldn’t do that and this really is not the time to have this conversation.” you said leaving to do your work.

When you entered your study room, you found Chan looking through your stuff. He was holding a photo of you and Changbin. He put it down when he saw you came. “I’m sorry y/n. Me coming to your house was not a good idea I guess.” Your cheeks felt hot, you were emberrased that he just witnessed that. “No Chan, it’s fine and it was not even about you don’t worry.” you lied. “We should get to work.”

You two were in that room for a while now and Changbin was having the worst scenarios playing inside his head. He was even thinking that Chan was giving money to your boss for him to make you two work together. Deep down, he knew he was wrong about all these and he should trust you but he just couldn’t for some reason. He should check on you but it would not be okay if he just entered the room like that, so he prepared you some snacks. He opened the door like he was walking in on something he shouldn’t and you two were frightened as all your attention was on your work. “I thought you must be hungry. Here, I prepared these. Good luck on your work. And Chan you better finish your part of the work quickly.” and he laughed. Chan chuckled, he was obviously not comfortable with your boyfriends behavior. “Thanks baby and Binnie close the door on your way out will you?” you said, you wanted him to leave and you knew he would stay if you didn’t tell him to go. “Sure.” and he left.

It was nearly 2 am now and you finished a lot of your work but there was still more to go. Your eyes were closing and Chan realised that. “I better get going y/n it’s late, you should get some rest.” “No no you should stay if that’s okay with you, we can continue tomorrow morning.” you knew this was probably not the best decision. As you said that Changbin came in “It’s really late y/n I’m going to bed and our guest must be tired.” “Yes I was just getting ready to leave.” Chan said. “You know what, why don’t you stay tonight Chan? You guys could continue in the morning. I can lend you some clothes. How does that sound?” You couldn’t decide if it was you or Chan, who was the most surprised with that offer.

Chan stayed over,you prepared him the study room and it was next to your room. When you finally went to bed, Changbin was already sleeping. Well you thought he was. You let out a big sigh and gave him his goodnight kiss even though he was sleeping, wondering why he was so obsessed with Chan. You got comfy and just as you were going to sleep, you felt your leg pushed up and a hand coming between your thighs. “Binnie not now, I need some sleep .” “Sluts don’t get everything they want sweetie.”

“Why the name calling all of a sudden?”

“Don’t you even dare to think you are innocent now. I heard you asking for him to stay over. What were you going to do huh? Let him fuck you while I’m sleeping here next to you?” you opened your mouth to answer but he put your panties in your mouth. “You don’t need to deny it y/n I know you wouldn’t say no to that and it’s fine. But tonight we show him who you belong to okay my princess?” You nodded. He started fingering you. “I see you’re wet now. But for who, who made you this wet?” “You Binnie.” you tried to say with a muffled voice.

“I’m sure Chan helped though.” He pushed down his boxers and took his dick out, taking your hand to rub it. “Actually, you being a cockslut makes me hard y/n. But you’re still mine.” he pushed your hand away and put himself in you making you moan deeply. And he took the panties out of your mouth. “Now I want you to be as loud as you can. So we can put on a nice show for our guest next room. mkay babygirl?” with his deep thrusts he left you no other choice. You tried to be quiet but it was impossible at this point as he sped up his pace.

“Yes, Binnie. fuckk- right there yes, harder please. This feels s-s-so good” “And who do you belong to again doll, who can make you feel this good huh?” “You Changbin, only you can make m-m-me feel thiss- good.” you were shouting at this point, not even thinking about what Chan could hear.

Chan wasn’t sleeping. He was hearing every single sound you guys made. It would be a lie if he said that didn’t turn him on. He missed your moans, all those pretty sounds you make. He couldn’t help but take his cock in his hands as he got closer to the wall to hear better. This is perverted, he thought. But then he knew this was gonna happen, he knew Changbin enough and he stayed anyways.

You were so close to your release now. “I’m gonna- I’m gonna cum. please make m-me cum Binnie.” “I will baby don’t you worry.” he reached to your clit, rubbing harshly, making you scream his name. The room ,well the house, was filled with your moans, Chanbin’s grunts and Chan’s muffled moans as he was trying to be quiet but he failed. Suddenly Changbin stopped, as you were about to whine, he closed your mouth “Listen y/n, we do have an audience.” he laughed and continued his thrusts.

You couldn’t believe Chan was getting off to this.Tomorrow and all the other days coming were going to be full with shame, you thought.

“Cum for me princess let us hear your beautiful cumming sounds.” you came with his words and he came with you. Then you heard another moan, a familiar moan. You were coming back to real life and the emberrasment was coming to you with it.

While you were thinking all that, Changbin hugged you. “I’m sorry y/n. I still couldn’t get over you being Chan’s ex. I mean look at him he is hot as fuck and he is nice and smart. I don’t know if I can compete with him. And I hate putting you into situations like today and make you feel uncomfortable but I can’t help it. I love you so much, I don’t want to lose you.”

“Oh Binnie. Please, there is no competition. He is a part of my past and just a co-worker now. And baby I love you. You have all my love and I’ve never even thought of leaving you for him, not even once. Believe me when I say, him and I are over okay. and also he is talking to someone at the moment. I’m sure he got over me too. Come here.” and you pulled him into a big hug. Kissing all over his hands.

“But admit it, it was kind of hot someone jerking off to us.” you both laughed.  And you went to sleep, not trying to think what you were going to do tomorrow.

[puckluck28]

A Merry Upstead Christmas!

This one is for my lovely Chicago PD Secret Santa recipient @upsteadhc for the prompt: “any prompt from an angst or fluff list” so I figured what’s better than an Upstead pregnancy oneshot. A little bit of angst, a little bit of fluff, I hope you enjoy it! Merry Christmas and a Happy Holiday Season!

*The prompts I’ve used are highlighted in bold. 

For Better or For Worse, Even When Pregnant

Hailey glanced at their front from her spot on the couch in their dimly lit living room before checking the time on her phone for what felt like the hundredth time. At reading the numbers that read 1:28 AM plastered over her background that was a photo of her and Jay from their gender reveal party a few months ago, she sighed and took another sip from her now semi-cold tea. Fighting the urge to close her eyes with each passing moment, she’d been hoping for a voice mail, a quick text, something, anything that would give her enough relief so she could at least attempt to sleep, but there was nothing, and the wait was driving her crazy. Since their last call, there was an uncomfortable feeling eating at her insides, something in the pit of her stomach that had been growing for a few days, and she knew it wasn’t just her nerves growing from being only a week away from her due date. She’d gotten this same feeling a few times in the past few years, and she prayed to God that this time wasn’t like those other times. 

Where the hell are you, Jay?

The unit had caught a big case a week ago: a dead pregnant girl that led the team to an international human and child trafficking ring smuggling young girls from all around the world into the States, forcing them to get pregnant, and selling the babies to God knows what kind of people. It was an understatement to say it was a rough case, even for Intelligence’s standards, and from the limited information Hailey knew about it from her lunch dates with Jay at the precinct, and the occasional calls and visits from Kim and Vanessa so Hailey wouldn’t actually lose her mind staying at home, it wasn’t going to be a walk in the park to solve. 

On a regular night, Hailey wouldn’t worry about Jay staying late to go over evidence or to work on paperwork, especially while they were working a new case, but this time felt different. She couldn’t put her finger on it, but there was something about the way Jay had been especially quiet at home the past few days, those days that he had actually made it home before Hailey went to bed. It was almost as if he had been trying to avoid her, and successfully so. Then there were his texts: one word answers after taking forever to respond, that was if he responded. It wasn’t like she was expecting immediate responses or constant texting either. She knew that whenever a big case, especially something this big hit, it was all hands on deck with no room for distraction, but she at least expected a response, any response, when she asked if he’d be coming home for dinner, or if he was okay.

Now, having been partners with Jay for seven years, dated for two of those and married for one, Hailey could tell when a case, or someone, was irking him. So when he had started acting a little off the first time, she had given it to the combination of the caseload and having to work with a new partner now that she was officially on maternity leave, and done with desk duty, as per Voight and Platt’s orders. Jay’d been looking to find something to complain about his new partner from the day Voight had brought in Detective Aiden Thomas, a freshly minted detective from narcotics, as Hailey’s temporary replacement. Whether it was the way the young detective tabbed evidence files or the way he sipped his coffee during stakeouts, Jay found an excuse to text her, whining about being stuck with the new kid. So when the texts got more staggered and eventually stopped, Hailey had started getting suspicious and when she hit absolute radio silence the entire day that day, with no luck during the night either, Hailey knew it was time to call in back-up.

Around 10:00pm or so, Will had been the first person on her call list, not wanting to alert anyone on the team just yet if the older Halstead could reassure her enough to get that sleep she oh so craved. It also helped that she knew that Will was on call that night, him having shared his work schedule with Hailey since she was so close to her due date and who knew where Jay would be if she went into labor. Unlike his younger brother, Will had picked up Hailey’s call in two short rings. “Hailey? What’s up? Are you okay? Is it the baby?” He had asked in doctor mode. 

“Yea, we’re good. I was calling to see if you heard anything from Jay today?”

“Jay? He was here this morning to talk to an injured suspect but that’s about it.”

“Did you realize anything off with him?”

“Not that I could tell. He and his new partner were in and out. I didn’t even see them leaving.” Hailey sighed in defeat at her brother-in-law’s response. She had really hoped he would say something that would ease her growing nerves. “Hey, is everything okay?”

“Yea, yea things are fine.” Hailey took a deep breath. “I just haven’t heard from him the whole day and he hasn’t come home yet and…” Her voice trailed off as her words died.

“I can-”

“No, that’s alright.” She cut him off, turning down his offer. “I don’t want him to worry if they are working.”

“You sure?”

“Yea, knowing Jay, he’ll think I’m in labor or something and freak out.” She attempted at a joke to hide her worry. 

“You know, it would teach him not to ignore his pregnant wife.” That even earned a soft chuckle from Hailey.

“Thanks, Will. It’s not even that late, I’m sure it’s just me being paranoid.” She tried brushing it off. “You know how much I love staying home all day.”

“Don’t I know it?” Will went along even though he knew that for Hailey to be calling him, she must have a good reason to worry. “You and Jay are the worst people at enjoying doing nothing.”

“Yea, I’m ready to go back to work once your niece finally graces us with her presence.” She told him, her hands instinctively rubbing her 38, almost 39, week along belly at the thought of finally getting to meet her baby.

“I’d be careful wishing on that this close to your due date, Hailey. It might happen any day now.” He jokingly warned her, hoping he was providing some comfort with this distraction.

“I think it’s safe to say when it happens, you’ll be one of the first ones to know. I guess the first one to know if it happens during this call.” Hailey responded, though the only thing she could think of as silence fell was what she’d do if she were to go into labor now and Jay was nowhere to be found.

“Regardless, you know I’m here if you need me.” Will broke the silence.

“Thanks, Will. I’ll let you get back to work.”

“Alright, but seriously, call me if you need anything. I’ll be up all night.”

“I will. Thanks, again. Good luck with your shift.”

“Any time. Now stop worrying about that knucklehead and try to get some sleep.” Will jokingly ordered and with a mumble of agreement, Hailey hung up. Sleep… She really hoped she’d be able to get a little bit of it that night.

She’d given him about an hour after calling Will, called and texted a few times, but when those had gone unanswered once again, she’d moved to the next person on her list and called Kim, really hoping that they were really just working late and she wasn’t waking her up. “Hey, Hails, everything okay?” Like Will, Kim picked up the call in a few rings. It was almost as if everyone who knew Hailey was on call to answer her calls except for her husband. 

“Hey, sorry I’m calling so late. Am I interrupting anything?”

“No, no, actually Kev just came back from a coffee run so I was taking a break.” Kim answered, followed by a yawn. 

“Case wearing you down?”

“It’s a bad one. We found two of our suspects, who of course didn’t go down without a fight. One of them took a bullet to the knee so we are waiting for Med to release him into our custody when he’s done and the other’s downstairs.” Another yawn. “But looks like it’s gonna be a rough night. Well, I guess morning.”

“Everyone okay?” Hailey asked after hearing that their suspect had put up a fight. If he had gotten shot, it meant that he had started the shooting, and her heart started racing thinking all the worst case scenarios. Surely she would have been notified if something serious had happened to Jay, but with the way he had been so distant lately, maybe that had been it: he had gotten injured and was avoiding her calls. 

“Everyone’s good, came out without a scratch.” Hailey released the breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding. “Hey, is everything okay with you?” Kim asked upon hearing Hailey’s loud exhale of breath. “Oh my god are you in labor?”

“No, everything’s good here. No baby just yet.” She answered quickly, getting that out of the way. “I was calling to see if Jay’s around. I’ve tried calling him a few times but his phone kept going to voicemail, but I guess you guys are busy so I’ll let you go.”

“Ummm, Hails, Jay left a while ago.”

“Oh?” Kim’s answer took Hailey by surprise, an unpleasant one. She lost her train of thoughts and stuttered as she tried finding the words to ask her next question. “Did he- umm, did he say where he was going?”

“No, sorry. We all figured he was gonna go home and get some sleep. It’s been a rough day for him.”

“What happened? Is he okay?” It felt weird to not know that Jay’d had a rough day. It felt weird being the one to ask what was happening with him. 

“One of the suspects we caught turned out to be ex-military. Someone Jay knew back in the day.” Kim told her. “I think Jay was hoping the lead would turn out to be bogus since his name came up a few days ago but…” The rest was obvious. Finding out an old buddy involved in such a disgusting case must have taken a toll on him, and understandably so. What Hailey couldn’t figure out was why he hadn’t talked to her about it, and the question hurt her more than she thought it would. “Jay must have gone on a drive or something. I’m sure he’s on his way home though.” 

“Yea, yea, you’re right. I’ve probably just been losing my mind from having to stay home.” She tried laughing it off again, just like she had done it with Will, but this new found

“Oh, tell me about it! A few days is enough to drive you insane.” Kim commented, as bittersweet it was, remembering having to stay back during her short lived pregnancy so many years ago. 

“Oh yea.” Hailey tried acting her usual chipper self but the fake smile plastered on her face failed to reach her voice. “Anyway, I should let you enjoy your break.”

“You sure everything’s okay?”

“Yea, yea, everything’s fine. I’m getting pretty tired anyway and you guys are busy.” She added a fake yawn to her sentence which made Kim yawn as well. “Thanks for the conversation.”

“You want one of us to drop by? I know Kevin’s about to head home for a quick nap and-”

“No, that’s fine.” Hailey cut her friend off before she could finish the sentence. “It’s pretty late.”

“Alright, well Adam, V and I are gonna be staying here tonight if you need anything. Just give us a call, alright?”

“Thanks, Kim. I really appreciate it. Enjoy your break and good luck!”

“Good night, Hails.” The line went dead, leaving Hailey to her thoughts, wondering where her husband was, worst case scenarios running through her head. The last time he had gone awol, he’d gotten kidnapped, shot and almost died. She couldn’t go through that again. Not now. Not when they were about to have it all. With tears in her eyes, Hailey swore he would never forgive Jay if he left them alone.

About another hour or so later, the clock almost hitting three in the morning, Hailey was just about ready to give up, go to bed. She was exhausted, achy, and really, all she wanted was to know that Jay was safe. They could deal with this, whatever it was, in the morning. Hell she didn't even care if it meant that he’d continue avoiding her, and she’d have to wobble to the precinct in her pajamas. That being said, she knew sleep was her enemy tonight and the moment she would decide to go to bed, the oh so tempting sleep that had been trying to pull her into dreamland would disappear the moment her head’d hit the pillow. Not that sleep was really an option with their daughter kicking up a storm in her belly either.

“It’s okay, munchkin.” Hailey rubbed the spot she kept feeling the kicks. “It’s all gonna be okay.” Realizing she had no tea left, she threw her blankets off and stood up to stretch. If she was going to stay up, she needed to keep herself otherwise occupied. “Let’s get mommy some tea and you some of those cookies you crave so much.”

Hailey was about to head to the kitchen to get herself another cup of tea and get a snack when the sound of the door opening startled her. Her head instinctively turned towards the source of the noise, and watched frozen as Jay’s silent silhouette moved in the foyer. She held her breath as her eyes followed his every move: The way he snuck into his own house, the way he took his jacket and shoes off as quietly as possible, thinking Hailey was already asleep, the way he tiptoed further into the dark house.  Watching his arm reach for living room light switch, Hailey prepared herself to face their current situation, and when the lights turned on, bringing the couple face to face, a loud silence surrounded them. “Hails? Why are you awake? Everything okay? Is it the baby?” Jay listed his questions, alarmed. 

“Yea, yea we are fine but I guess I should be the one asking you that.” Hailey shot back, needing him to know that what happened today was NOT okay. “What’s going on, Jay?”

“Nothing, nothing. I’m fine.” He gave her his staple bullshit of an answer as he walked further in and towards her in the living room. “Just a long day at work.”

“Well, I know for a fact you’re not “fine”, so wanna try again?” Hailey crossed her arms over her chest, her words stopping him on his tracks to walk over to greet her.

“I-” He started but seemed to be at a loss of words. 

“Jay, I’m worried about you.” She cut him off at the realization that he needed a push before he’d really open up. “You haven’t picked up your phone or answered any of my texts and I had to find out from Kim that you had a rough day. What’s going on?”

“Hails, I’m just really tired and just want to go to sleep.” He was hiding behind an excuse, but at least it was an honest one, and Hailey considered that a good start.

“Alright, if that’s what you want, we can go to bed. I’m glad you’re safely home.” She told him with a flat yet soft tone. She didn’t want to discourage him from opening up, but his actions had terrified and hurt her, and she couldn’t just pretend that it was all fine now that he was home. “But we are gonna talk about this, Jay.” She added, letting him know he wasn’t off the hook. “What happened today, the radio silence… The last time that happened, I almost lost you and the thought of losing you, especially while I can’t even be out there,” The memory of what Angela Nelson put them through hitting her straight in the pregnancy hormones and feelings, she could feel tears welling in her eyes, but she wouldn’t cry. She refused to. “It, it terrified me,” She looked down her body in an attempt to avoid his eyes and blink away the tears as she protectively put both her hands on her bulging belly. “It terrified us.” She sighed. “We, we have to talk about it.”

“I can’t do anything right, can I?” Jay muttered more to himself than Hailey, disappointed in himself. He knew he was in the wrong. He knew he shouldn’t have pushed Hailey away, but this case, these past few days, then what happened in the morning… It had brought up so many painful memories, so much rage, so much fear that he simply hadn’t known where to start. “You must hate me for what I put you through today, huh?”

“I don’t hate you, Jay. I will never hate you.” Hailey’s voice softened. “But I hate that after all this, you’re still trying to lie to me.”

“Hails…”

“Yes, Jay?”

“This case has been terrifying.” He started to confess. “When we found that pregnant girl, the way her body was left behind, all I could think of was you and what I would do if I found you like that.” He was finally opening up. “Then we found out that one of the suspects is an old army buddy of mine and when we interviewed him today…” He shook his head, the memory of the interrogation room replaying in his mind and he collapsed on the couch in defeat. “He looked me in the eyes and said “You’d make pretty babies. Should consider changing careers.” with the smuggest smile, and Hailey, the things I wanted to do to him for bringing our kid into it… And then all my anger turned into this fear of failing you and Aislyn and, God, Hailey, it paralyzed me. I couldn’t think of anything else.”

“Jay,” She got it. She really did, but the silence and distance had hurt. “Holding everything in doesn’t help you know.” She told him as she walked over to take a seat next to him and put a supportive hand on his back. “Why didn’t you tell me what was happening?”

“I know I should have.” He looked at her with tear sheathed eyes, his greens tired and broken. “I mean I know I could have come to you. I trust you more than I ever trust myself, but I didn’t want to worry you especially with how close you are to your due date. It felt like by burdening you with my worries, I’d be failing you two before we even became parents.”

“I understand, Jay, but not knowing what was going on with you and having to call our friends and family only to find out from Kim that you’ve been having a rough time with this case worried me so much. I felt like an outsider and not your wife and best friend.” She took a deep breath, giving Jay some time to process her words. “Your worries and fears and rage will never be a burden on me, Jay. We said for better or for worse when we said I do. Being pregnant doesn’t change that.”

“God, I love you and I’m so damn sorry.” Jay pulled Hailey into his body and apologized with a broken voice upon realizing how much he had hurt her. The last thing he wanted to do had been to hurt her, but he realized trying to not be a burden was more hurtful to their partnership than anything. “I promise I’ll do better.”

“I know you will.” Hailey snuggled into his embrace before turning in his arms to be able to look him in the eyes again. “I love you, Jay.” She cupped his cheek in her one hand, and grabbed and guided his hand to rest over her belly with her other. “We love you. Unconditionally. Just remember that the next time you feel overwhelmed and I’m not there.” Feeling their daughter’s kicks under their palms, Jay leaned down to press a kiss on her lips; a kiss meant to seal his promise, to show his love, to give them both hope that they were stronger for facing their challenges. 

Their last few days had really taken a toll on both of them, but with everything out in the open now, and promises of love and hope had been made, they knew they could tackle anything as long as they trusted in each other, even when they didn’t trust themselves. 

So when they finally got into bed, tightly holding one another close, their daughter’s soft movements between them, they finally got the relieved rest they had been needing that day.

- @puckluck28

[gashinabts]

The Benefits of a Heartbreak

Word: 6.6k

Pairing: Jimin x Reader, Jungkook x reader, ex-lovers to lovers

Genre: Angst, Fluff, Smut

Summary: The benefits of a heartbreak

New look

Start of something new

Having the whole bed to yourself

Having sex with other people

Warnings: Angsty, panic attack during smut scene, Mature language

a/n: Sorry it’s been a long time T-T, Uni is kicking my butt. This took me about three months to write, and ahhhhh it finally feels good that is finish. Tell me whatchu think, comments motivate me to keep writing !!!! READ THE WARNINGS!!!

The benefits of a heartbreak

New look

Start of something new

Having the whole bed to yourself

Having sex with other people

“Y/N...what is this list on the fridge?,”  Chaeyoung walks to the bedroom and notices you going through the closet throwing clothes over your shoulder. It mostly looked like Jimin’s clothes but she couldn’t see clearly due to you rapidly tossing the clothes.

You turn around and see Chaeyoung holding the list and looking at you, trying to figure out what’s happening. “ Jimin and I broke up,” you say in a normal tone. You are not going to cry again, you already cried on the drive back to the apartment, while making the list, and while clearing the closet.

“What!,” Chaeyoung walks closer to you. “...You and Jimin broke up? But...like you guys been together since like middle school. Did he cheat on you, that mother-,”

“No he didn’t,” you say quickly. You tightly unclench your hands from the black sweater in your hands, you laugh and lightly toss Jimin’s sweater on the floor. “ And we haven’t been together since middle school, it was the first year of highschool we started dating.” You look one last time to see the closet and notice a big difference in space. You take the list from Chaeyoung and write down, You have more room for your clothes.

She looks at you incredulously, “ Well, what happened?”  You start picking up the clothes on the floor, placing it on the bed and carefully folding the clothes.

Four hours prior to the heartbreak

You wait in a cafe with a cup of coffee in your hands, well it’s not your coffee, you bought it for Jimin. You sit patiently, tapping lightly on the table, “ Y/N...sorry I’m late, it started raining all of a sudden and then I had to buy an umbrella,” Jimin hesitantly smiles at you. You laugh a little seeing little droplets on his face, and stand up and wiping it dry with a napkin. He lets out a small thanks. Once your done you kiss him on the cheek and sit back down, while he sits on the other side of the table. You scoot the warm cup of coffee towards him and he takes a sip.

“ You left the apartment really early today, I didn’t get my goodbye kiss,” you say jokingly and he laughs a little.  He looked outside the window and his smile fades a little and he bites his bottom lip. You are about to ask him what’s wrong but he turns his attention back to you.

“ I had a lot to think about so I went to the gym with my friend,” he says while brushing his hair backwards with his fingers. You can tell he is holding something back, like when you know someone wants to say something but they don’t.

You grab his hand and squeeze it gently, “ You know you can tell me anything,” you give him a warm smile. He returns the smile and lets out a small ‘ I know’.

“ Do you ever wonder what it might've been if we never dated?” he takes his hand from you and places it in front of his lap. Some small part of you wanted to not believe where this conversation was going but you knew where this was going. You shake your head no to his question. “ ...These days I’ve been wondering what it would be like if were not together, if I didn’t ask you out, if we would've stayed friends... I don’t know what I’m saying.” He takes another sip of his coffee and sighs, “ I’m tired Y/N...I feel like I’m at the place where things are too comfortable. We were always...together... since high school.”

You twiddle your fingers, “ Is that a bad thing?,” you are genuinely confused. You thought your relationship was great, hell it was even perfect. There was a set routine and what’s wrong with being comfortable in relationship, don’t people seek that in a relationship.

“ For me it is...Y/N we have been together for more than eight years, don’t you regret anything? Do you ever feel that you lost your youth, that you didn’t fully experience what it’s like to date around, fall in love and get broken up and fall back in love.”

“ No, I haven’t since I’ve been in love with you and I feel happy that I’ve only been in love with you. What-where is this going?,” you scoot your chair closer to the table.

“ We should break up.”

There is a pregnant pause, your heart drops and your whole body is filled with dread. Maybe there are other solutions to fix the problem, maybe you should take less hours from work, maybe ask him what can you do to salvage the relationship. “ Okay, I was thinking the same thing,” you smile brightly at him. Why the hell did you say that, you weren’t thinking the same thing you were actually doing the opposite.

His face shows surprise and he smiles happily, “ Oh my- really? I wasn’t really expecting that...to be so easy, it feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders…” he trails off words of relief and you look down to your swinging feet. “...Hey Y/N, are you okay?”

You look at his worried gaze towards you and you give him a genuine smile.  Sometimes relationships don’t last and it’s okay if they don’t but you never expected to happen between you and Jimin. You love Jimin so much that you don’t want to see him unhappy in this relationship, so it’s better this way. “ Yeah, I’m okay so...the apartment? Are still going to live with me? There’s an extra room…”.

He sips the last part of his drink, “ No, I’m going to move in with Yoongi, he said it was cool as long as I pay rent... Y/N, we were friends before we started dating, let’s still be friends, yeah? ”, he reaches to your hand and gives it a gentle squeeze.

No, I don’t know if I can be friends with the person I love, “ Yeah, let's be friends.”  

Present

“ Are you shitting me...how can you say you are okay with it when you are clearly not? This doesn’t make sense, maybe you can call him back and say ‘ Hey I don’t want this to end, let’s try to fix this.’ Y/N this is Jimin we are talking about...he’ll do anything for you.” Chaeyoung finally says after hearing the break up story. She looks frustrated and is pacing around the room, but then stops and grabs the picture frame of you and Jimin.

You take the picture frame from and stare at it, it was when you guys were in highschool happily eating at a tteokbokki stand. “ It’s not that easy,  he-he’s not in love with me anymore. I guess being with the same person for too long can get boring...exhausting...who knows?” You scoff and place the picture frame in the drawer of the dresser by your bed. You look at Chaeyoung and she looks like she wants to argue more but she holds back her thoughts. She helps you pack Jimin belongings in boxes, the room looks more empty, a little lonely since you won’t be seeing Jimin’s clothes randomly placed around the room anymore.

“ Well that’s the last of it, he said he was coming to pick of his things when I am at work. Should I pack him some blankets...I’m not sure if Yoongi will have any, maybe a pillow-”

“ Hell no! He said he was ‘too comfortable with the relationship’, have him be uncomfortable with the cold weather and an aching neck.” You laugh at her pettiness and she laughs with you.

It’s been a week since the break up and you are coping with it just fine. You may have a few little bumps on the road this week, such as arriving to work late since Jimin would kiss you awake. As well as an empty stomach upon the arrival.

You have never been through a breakup but you seen people cut their hair. This is how you end up in a salon, looking at yourself in the mirror. The more you look at yourself, the more displeased you feel with your appearance.

“What can I do for you sweetheart?” The hairdresser with red hair ask you.

“I want something new, I want to cut my hair.” The hairdresser touches your hair and looks surprised.

He touches your long hair, twirling it a bit, “ So you would just a trim, maybe add layers?” He smiles and combs your hair with the comb.

“ No, I want it to be shorter.” You bring your hands to show him how short you want it, bringing it up to your shoulders. “ I want it this short.” The hairdresser gasp, reluctantly holding the scissors and snipping your hair.

--

“ Whoa, Y/N! Your hair...it’s so short!” Your coworker Mina exclaims, while stroking your hair. You get flustered since you hadn’t had it this short since highschool.

“ Yeah, it is kind of short, I wanted a new look,” you run your fingers through the strands of your hair.

“ Well it suits you! You look so good! Doesn’t she look good Hoseok?” She turns her head and looks ay Hoseok. He gives you a small smile and nods.

You say your thank you’s and walk towards your cubicle, starting your laptop on to start work, you see Jimin’s picture, sighing you put the picture frame in your desk. Hoseok walks over to your cubicle “ Y/N, can I talk to you?” You knew he was going to ask about the break up since he’s really good friends with Jimin.

“ Yeah, what’s up?” You fiddle around with your pen, he looks around at the interior of the cubicle smiling sadly at the pictures of you and Jimin. You never realized how much pictures you have him in a workplace, you should give rid of those.

“ So how are you? Jimin told me what happened,” he places a warm comforting hand on your shoulder.

You smile at him, “ I’m good, I’m great. I think we needed this,” you lie to yourself but Hoseok doesn’t know. “ Umm, how is he? Jimin, how is he?” You grab some paperwork shuffling them, pretending to be unbothered.

“ He’s doing good, umm...but he is kind of confused to why you block him. I thought you guys ended on good terms?” He has a puzzled look on his face.

It’s best if you completely erased Jimin from your life, it would be easier for you. However, you don’t want to make it obvious, then he would question you more. “ What the heck...my phone has been acting weird, I’ll go check it out later.” He lets out a small okay and goes back to his work.

--

“ When’s the last time you had sex?,” Chaeyoung asked as she looks at you cooking. She’s been visiting you more, making sure you are okay and eating.

The question takes you by surprise and causes you to burn yourself on the sizzling pan, “ Ow-fuck, I think the last time I had sex with Jimin was two months ago…” You stir the meat around, pondering the last time you had sex with Jimin. Your cheeks flush when you think about Jimin eating you out and making love to you.

“ No, I mean the last time you had sex with a guy,” she takes your place stiring the meat while you grab the plates.

“ I never had sex with anyone else, just Jimin. He was my first and I was his first,” you laugh to yourself remembering how nervous you guys were during your first time. “ Don’t you remember we have been together since highschool?” You serve the rice on the plates and Chaeyoung sets the meat on the table.

“ Duh, I know that but like it’s been a couple weeks. Plus, you even wrote on the list to have sex with other people,” she points to the list on the fridge. You didn’t think much of writing ‘having sex with other people’, it was kind of in the moment thing.

“ I wrote it down but I wasn’t in the right place...I think,” you start eating the food, slightly distracting yourself. You should go having sex, experience being single. “ You are you right. I think I’m going to go to the club tonight,” you smile to yourself. Chaeyoung exclaims excitedly, leaving the kitchen, raiding the closet in your bedroom.

“ This one will look good on you.” She hands you a short black dress.

--

You enter the club, it is not your first time at a club but it’s different this time. You are not with Jimin. “ I’m going to get a drink, I need some liquor courage,” you tell Chaeyong. She nods and tells you she’s going to dance.

You ask the bartender for two drinks, one for you and one for Chaeyong. Looking around you witness a lot of young pretty people grinding on each other to the sensual music. You grow less confident since you are not as young as them. “ What am I doing?,” you say softly to yourself.

“ Well it looks like you want to get wasted,” a young guy with doe eyes points at the two drinks in front of you.

“ No, uhh this isn’t mine, well this one is but not this one,” you nervously say, pulling down your dress down. You feel intimidated by him since he is so attractive.

“ I was only playing,” he rubs his necks. “ My name is Jungkook,” he reaches his hand towards you, tattoos peak out on his arms. It’s kind of strange that he’s offering you handshake.

You laugh and shake is hand, “ I’m Y/N, how old are you?” You take a sip of alcohol, grimacing a bit. His eyes widen when hears this question.

“ Isn’t it a little rude to ask about someone’s age,” he laughs lightly and you laugh with him. “ I’m thirty-six, I know I look young for my age,” you lightly hit him and laugh louder.

“ You look too young to be that age,” you smiled lightly, looking at your friends drink.  “ You look like baby.”

“ Hey! I’m only twenty-two!,” Jungkook pouts making him look more younger.

“ Exactly, why are you over here talking to me? Shouldn’t you be dancing with younger people?”

“You looked a little lost maybe a little sad. I don’t know...I just thought that you needed someone to talk to.” You don’t say anything just staring at him, you don’t know what to say, maybe he is right that you are a little lost and sad. “...uh I could leave I’m probably bothering you, I’m sorry…”

“No, don’t go. Please stay with me.” You grab gently at his hand when he was about to give you space.

—

“Ahh, fuck… Jungkook.” Jungkook is holding up against the wall, with your legs wrapped around his slim waist, kissing your neck and leaving love bites. You didn’t expect this to happen, having a gorgeous man making out with you in your home. He pulls away and gives you a boyish smile before kissing your lips. “ The bedroom is the last door to your left.” He listens to your directions and walks you towards the bedroom, and you let out a small squeal, hugging him tighter.

He lets out a laugh, “Don’t worry I won’t drop you.” His arms let you down gently on your bed, he’s standing in front of you by the edge of the bed, and you sit up a little.

“ I can’t breathe.”

“ Me too. You are so pretty,” his hands caress your face.

You blush at his words, “No this dress is too tight and I can’t breath.”

“ Oh–here let me help you with that,” he helps you stand up and turns you around so he can unzip your dress. You hear him mutter to himself ‘You are such an idiot’. His fingers brush the nape of your neck and down to the zipper, slowly easing the dress off. This is the first time another man is going to see you naked and it’s making you nervous. Your back is still facing him staring at the empty bed, you feel his lips lightly kissing your bare shoulder. “ Is this okay?”

You turn around and smile at him, bringing his lips upon yours, “ Let me take this off.” You pull at his shirt and you pull over his head but it gets stuck in the process, causing both of you to laugh. “ I’m sorry,” you say between laughs, and the shirt is finally off.

You and Jungkook are both naked on the bed, heavily making out and grinding on each other. You pull apart from him, “ Can I ride you...please?”

“ Oh fuck- yes, you can do whatever you want with me,” he says breathless. You laugh an okay, switching positions you sit on his lap, about to insert his cock inside, but then he stops you. “ Wait, do you have a condom?,” Jungkook bites his lip. Oh shit, you were about to have sex without a condom with a stranger. You were so used to not ever wearing condoms with Jimin since you were on birth control. “ Umm...I mean it is okay if you don’t have one, I just-”

You interrupt him softly, “ No, I have one...I think. Let me check.” Leaning over Jungkook’s body your hands pull the first drawer on your side, the first thing you see is the picture of you and Jimin in highschool. Your heart drops feeling a large amount of guilt while staring at his bright smile, this kind where it reaches his eyes.

“ Where would you like to go for our honeymoon, Y/N?” Jimin ask you while holding your hand, lightly swinging it. You and Jimin were walking back from the tteokbokki stand, going to your house.

“ What?” Your eyes widened at his question.

“ It’s not that hard of a question, pick any place and I’ll take you there. Mexico? Japan? Maybe, Germany?”

You laugh, “ I’m not sure, I’m too young to think of this. And who says, if I’m even going to marry you,” you say teasingly.

He stops, and places his hand over his chest, “ Ouch! How can you say that? You are really breaking my heart right now!,” he says over dramatically. You uncontrollably laugh lightly hitting his shoulder. He stops his actions and smiles lovingly at you, taking your hand and holding it again, “ I’m serious Y/N, I may be seventeen but I know I want to marry you.”

“ You would want to spend forever with me? You don’t think you will ever get tired of me or stop loving me?” You laugh lightly but nervously, “ You don’t think we will break up in a cliche setting, like a coffee shop?”

He tilts your chin making you stare into his bright eyes, “ No, never ever in my life I won’t stop loving you. We are meant to be together.” He kisses your lips, “ So pick a place.”

You nod your head, “ Mexico.”

“ Okay, Mexico it is then.”

“ Did you find any?,” Jungkook’s soft voice interrupts your memories. Your hands shake slightly but you end up finding a condom underneath the picture frame. You have a condom in your hands and face him, you give it to him. “ Thank you,” he kisses your cheek as appreciation. He puts the condom on, while you look at the side of the bed that is empty. “ Are you ready?”

“ Yeah,” your lips find his and kissed him hard trying to forget all the memories that surfaced. He inserts his cock and you both moan, you haven’t had sex in awhile and the pain is barely there. You ride him slowly and the pleasure is building up, and your moaning his name.

“ God, you are ahh— so fucking beautiful,” he holds your hips helping you bounce up and down his cock.

“ You are so beautiful, I bet you know that already. I can’t wait to have kids with you. I want them all to look like.”  Jimin whispers trying not to wake you up, stroking your hair. He doesn’t think you are awake but you are, pretending to sleep so you can hear his soothing voice.

Stop thinking of Jimin, please stop thinking of him, you plead to yourself. You bury your face in Jungkook’s neck, feeling a wave of emotions. You don’t notice you are crying until Jungkook stops his motions and his large doe eyes are staring at your tearful eyes. “ Hey Y/N ! Are you okay? Did I do something wrong? Should I call for some help?” He’s frantically trying to soothe you, “ Do you want some ice cream? Ice cream always makes me feel better.” He pulls his cock out of you, and you start sobbing even more. “ Ohh, umm,” he immediately pulls you into his embrace, hugging you tightly. He hums a tune, stroking your hair, whispering words of comfort, anything to make you calm down.

You finally relax after thirty minutes of crying into his chest. “ I’m sorry,” you pull away from his chest. You quickly wipe at your dry tears and snot, feeling embarrassed that he saw you like this.

Jungkook hands brush a strand of hair behind your ear, “ At first I thought you were crying because of my dick,” he lightly jokes with you. You smile at the attempt of his joke. He rested his back against your head board and your still sitting on his lap facing him. “ Do you want to talk about it? I’m a good listener.”

Something about Jungkook makes you feel that you can tell him anything. “ Have you ever been in love?,” you ask him.

He rubs his neck and smiles a bit, “ I was sixteen when I fell in love with my english tutor.” He chuckles to himself, “...she was twenty-three.” Your eyes widen and he pinches your nose. “ Let me finish my story. She treated me like I was special, she would compliment me and buy me things, she would say ‘ this reminded me of you’. On my seventeenth birthday I asked for a kiss for my present and she kissed me on my cheek. She actually kissed me, and I thought this is it, she loves me for sure.”

“ What happened?,” you were intrigued with the story.

“ I was going to tell her I love her on my eighteenth birthday, but she got married and moved to Canada.” He throws his head back and laughs loudly, “ I was heartbroken but I realized how funny it was. I don’t think I was in love, and I couldn’t blame her, she was being a nice friend to me. I was too young to know what love is. I think I still don’t know what love is, do you know what love is Y/N?”

You furrowed your eyebrows, puzzled by his story, “ I fell in love with him the moment I saw him, it was in middle school, we were just friends though. He just made me feel loved and I loved him so much that I would hurt myself for him. I just want him to be happy. After we broke up I think I understood more what love is.” You get up from the bed and dress yourself, Jungkook takes that as a sign and puts his boxers on. “ Can you...you don’t have to...but can you stay the night please?”

He turns around and smiles, “ Of course,” he goes back under the sheets and lefts the duvet so you can go under too.

--

You and Jungkook exchange numbers, he tells you if you need anyone to talk to just hit him up. You wave him goodbye while he walks out on the street.

Your phone rings and see that Chaeyoung is calling you, “ So how did it go? I saw you walking with a young hottie.” You roll your eyes and enter the kitchen, making yourself a bowl of cereal.

“ We had sex-”

“ Yes! Finally! Was it good, god...he probably had a big dick.”

“ I started crying because I thought of Jimin,” you pour the milk in the cereal.

“ Oh no, are you okay? I shouldn’t have pressured you, I’m sorry Y/N,” she says apologetically.

“ No don’t apologize, I’m fine. Surprisingly, he was nice about it. I got his number and I think he’ll be a good friend.”

“ Well that’s good! So how big was he?”

You laugh, “ He was pretty big.”

--

“ What’s up?,” you answer your phone.

“ Y/N, you are coming with me to a party.” Jungkook says on the other line.

“ You know you are such a demanding person,” you jokingly say. You and Jungkook have been talking for the past month. He takes you places at random times, like going hiking at three in the morning to see the stars.

“ Really? I don’t think I am,” he ponders. You laugh lightly causing him to laugh.

“ Okay, send me the address and I’ll be there.”

--

You enter the house looking for Jungkook, where is that tall kid at? You should get a drink first, you walk towards the kitchen, looking at the variety of alcohol. The music is very loud and there’s a bunch of laughter and couples making out. You get yourself vodka in the solo cup walking around looking for Jungkook. “ Y/N!,” Jungkook runs up to you and hugs you tightly, this isn’t unusual, he always gives you tight hugs.

“ Hey, loser,” you are finally able to breath when he pulls away. “ I couldn’t find you, you know every early twenty year old guys dress just like you.”

He pouts when you say this, “ How can you say that! I have way more sense of fashion than those punks.”

“ I’m only kidding,” you laugh while punching his arm lightly.

“ I know,” he pokes his tongue at you, “ I want to introduce you to my friend.”

“Y/N? Is that you? ,” an all too familiar voice calls for you. You turn yourself slowly, hoping that if you turn around no one would be there. But when you do you see, Jimin. Jimin the love of your life, your ex-boyfriend. You haven’t seen him in five months and seeing him today is making your heart thump faster.

You fake a smile, “ Hey, Jimin! Long time no see! How are you doing?”

“Uhh..” Jimin tries to formulate a sentence but Jungkook interrupts him, “ You guys know each other?”

“ Yeah, we used to date. It was nice seeing you Jimin.” You turn your head towards Jungkook, “Jungkook where’s the bathroom?”  

“ Follow me, I’ll show you,” he grabs your hand leading you to the bathroom. “ Both of you enter the bathroom closing the door. “ So...Jimin was your first love?”

You let out a bitter laugh, “ Yeah he is.” You look at the sink watching the faucet leaking. “ How do you guys know each other?”

“ We met at the gym two years ago and we just became friends right away.” He turns your gaze from the faucet to his eyes. “ Are you okay? We can go somewhere else.”

“ I’m okay. I had to face him eventually.”  You open the bathroom door waiting for Jungkook to come out with you.

Jungkook sticks by your side for the majority of the party introducing you to some of his other friends. You excuse yourself and went outside to get some fresh air. You see a black cat and you start petting it, feeling it purr. “ Are you sad too, kitty?”

You hear the slider door close but you don’t bother seeing who it is, you just continuously pet the cat. “ The moon looks beautiful tonight, isn’t it,” he hear Jimin’s voice. You don’t say anything only looking at the black cat. “ When I saw you tonight I thought it was a dream, I thought this couldn’t be real…” He walks closer to you but puts a safe distance. “ Why did you stop contacting me...I thought we were still going to be friends? You said we were still going to be friends…” You let the silence take over, it must be a couple minutes of it, “ Y/N ! Can you please look at me!,” he pleads.

You turn around and look at him, “ Jimin it is impossible for ex-lovers to be friends.”

“ Says who? Why can’t we? ” The cat walks away from you two not wanting to be involved in this mess.

“ I don’t know, we just can’t. That’s how it works! We fall in love, we break-up, and then we are strangers.”

“ Bullshit! So are you just going to pretend that I never existed in your life? I kept calling you every fucking day, just to say this phone number isn’t available. You know how that feels to have you ghost me? You said you were okay with break-up, then why are you fucking acting like this!” he raises his voice. Not once has he ever raised his voice at you, it shocks both of you. You stand back away from him, tears welling up from your eyes. “ Y/N, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have yelled at you. Please don’t cry, it makes me sad to see you cry.”

“ Well you fucking made me cry asshole!,” you turn away from him looking anywhere from his face.

“ I know, please I’m sorry. I’m a piece of shit, I shouldn’t have acted that way. I was just frustrated and confused,” he says gently. Cursed your heart for relaxing when he uses his comforting voice.  He comes closer and your body relaxes even more just to know he is close to you. “ Can I hug you, Y/N?” You should say no but you say yes instead.

He turns you around hugging you close in his embrace, he smells the same, his hugs still feel the same but everything is so different. Jimin hands brush your hair and hug him tighter because this may be the last time you’ll ever feel him like this.

You hear the slider door open, “ Oh— oh shit. I heard yelling...is everything you okay?,” Jungkook says carefully.

You pull away from Jimin, “ Yeah, we were just talking,” you wipe your tears.

“Hmm...okay”

--

You unblock Jimin’s phone number the next day, and was surprised to see the amount of phone calls you recieved. God, can you still be friends with Jimin?

“ On a scale of one through ten how good looking am I?,” Jungkook asked while you were eating your sushi roll.

“ You need a bigger scale, Jungkook.”

“ Aww, thanks Y/N!,” he gloats while putting wasabi on his roll.

“ Yeah, a scale with negative numbers,” you laugh at your own joke. He pouts and mutters angry words. “ I’m kidding! You are more than a ten. You know everyone takes a double take at you.”

He gives you his usual bunny smile and happily eats his sushi. You texted Jimin to meet you at the sushi place but he hasn’t arrived yet. You told Jungkook that you were meeting Jimin and he begged you to let him come.

Jimin arrives ten minutes late and he is panting heavily with flushed cheeks. “ I’m sorry for being late.” He has rain drops on his cheeks and figured he forgot his umbrella. You were about to stand up and wipe them with your napkin but you stopped yourself.

You smile at him, and tell him to sit across from you and Jungkook. “ Did you forget to bring an umbrella ?” You laugh at his wet hair and Jungkook makes fun of him.

“ I like the new look Hyung,” he snorted a laugh and nudge him with your elbow, holding a laugh.

“ Shut up Jungkook. Yeah I forgot my umbrella again. What were you guys talking about?,” he looks at the menu contemplating what to order.

“ We were just talking about how average looking Jungkook is?,” you say as you eat your food. The waiter comes and asks Jimin what he would like to order, and Jimin frantically scans over the menu. “ He’ll have the sashimi combo and extra ginger, please.” The waiter writes down his order and leaves. Jimin gives you grateful look and takes a sip of his water.

“ Really? I think Jungkook is pretty good looking,” Jimin finally says.

“ I know I am hyung,” Jungkook shrugs his shoulders. “ If I wasn’t so good looking Y/N, then why didn’t you ignore me when we met at the club?” You blush at his question and turned away from his gaze.

“ Jungkook, Y/N is the one you met at the club?,” Jimin ask with his voice laced with hurt. Jimin remembers Jungkook coming home the next morning with hickies all over his neck.

“ Oh fuck, my bad… this sushi so good! Here try some Hyung!,” Jungkook says while pushing the sushi down Jimin's mouth. You are so going to kill Jungkook when you leave this place.

--

As surprising as it sounds, being back to friends with Jimin wasn’t too hard. You have a comfortable relationship with him just like how it was before you started dating him.

You and Jimin are walking along the Han River tonight, and exchanging stories about how your day went. You both stop and look towards the river. “ Y/N, I’m dating someone.” Your heart lurches when you hear this and you hum for him to continue. “ It was the month after we broke up, I bumped into this girl at subway. I spilled coffee all over her white dress shirt,” he laughs lightly. “ I asked her out on a coffee date to make it up to her.”

“ Is she pretty?,”  you tears want to prickle out but you hold them in. There’s something sad about hearing about ex-boyfriend falling in love with someone else.

“ Yeah, she is and she has an amazing personality.”

“ That’s nice.”

“Y/N, I want you to meet her.” He asked you quietly.

You furrowed your eyebrows and shake your head, “ Jimin, I don’t think your new girlfriend wants to meet your ex-girlfriend who is still your friend.”

“ No, she does. I told her about you and she wants to meet, she would love to meet you. Please meet her Y/N?”

“ Umm...okay.”

--

“ Hey! You must be Y/N! I’m Yuna. Jimin told me so much about you,” she rushes forward and hugs you.

“ Oh!,” your shocked that she does this. “ It’s so nice to meet you Yuna.” You sit across the table from Jimin and Yuna.

“ What shall we order?,” Jimin ask both of you.

At the end of the day you were exhausted from the meeting with Yuna and Jimin. She’s a nice girl, you know she would treat Jimin nicely and Jimin looks happy with her. You sleep with ease tonight and a smile on your face.

--

Four months later

“ Y/N I think you should just start dating me” Jungkook says to you in the kitchen. You are cooking him and Jimin dinner. This is the first time since the break up that Jimin is the apartment. He’s looking around the living room looking how everything is rearranged.  He stares at the empty walls, trying to remember what pictures were there before. He wonders if you threw it all away or put in a box in the closet.

“ No way I’m dating you Jungkook. You only like me because I’m an older woman and you like the fact that I take care of you.”

“ Duh, that’s why I should I date you. I don’t see what the problem is—”

“ Y/N, where’s all our pictures at?,” Jimin interrupts Jungkook.

You turn and point to your room, “ It should be in the closet, it’s in a box on the upper shelf.” You turn back and scowl Jungkook for eating a piece of meat off the pan.

Jimin walks into the bedroom and smiles, remembering how you would complain to him to pick up his clothes. His smiles sadly now at the room’s tidiness and cleanliness and there’s only one desk beside your bed. He opens the closet and grabs the box, and places it on the bed. He closes the closet and sits on your bed, looking at the pictures carefully. He laughs and smiles at each picture, when you guys were younger. His fingers traces your lovely smile. Jimin reaches the end of the box and finds two plane tickets. ‘ What is this?’ he asks himself. His eyes furrows when he reads one-way trip to Mexico, the date of the flight was a two weeks after the break up, then his heart drops.

He tilts your chin making you stare into his bright eyes, “ No, never ever in my life I won’t stop loving you. We are meant to be together.” He kisses your lips, “ So pick a place.”

You nod your head, “ Mexico.”

“ Okay, Mexico it is then.”

Were you going to propose to him before you guys broke up, his eyes sting and he want to vomit. He goes to put the plane tickets back and notices a ring case, his hand slightly shake while reaching it and opening it. The ring is his size and there’s an engravement written inside, ‘ Forever and Ever’.

“ JIMIN! Hurry up before Jungkook eats all the dinner!”

He quickly puts all the items away in the box and wipes his tears. He looks at the closet mirror to see if he looks okay.

--

One week later

“ Hey Jimin! Where’s Yuna, I thought she was coming,” you say while lacing your roller skates.

“ Uhh...she’s not coming today.” He sits beside you and does his laces tightly.

You give him a confused look, “ Well that sucks, Jungkook isn’t coming either, he said he had video game tournament, some shit like that. I guess it is just us.” You grabs his hand knowing how easily he falls in roller skates. His hands hold tightly onto yours and you laugh, “ Jimin, you are not going to fall. Do I need to get the walker for you?”

Jimin gives you a ride back to your apartment he was quiet the whole time while you were singing the songs on the radio. “ Thank you for the ride! Make sure to say hi for Yuna for me!,” you say as you are about to leave the car.

“ I can’t,” he says and that halts you from leaving.

“ What do you mean Jimin? Is everything okay?,” you turn back to look at him but he is looking straight ahead.

“ We broke up...I broke up with her.” Your eyes widen when you hear this.

“ Jimin...are you okay? Do you want to talk about it,” you place your hands on his, giving it a warm squeeze.

He turns to look at you, “ I couldn’t love her if that meant I had to stop loving you.”

“ What are—”

“ I love you, Y/N. Me mentioning us to break-up was the biggest regret I have ever made. I don’t need to fall in love with other people to know what love is, because you're all I can ever love.”

“ Do you really mean that?,” you smile with tears in your eyes.

“ Yes, I mean it with all my heart.” He leans over and tilts your chin and kisses your lips lightly. “ Come to Mexico with me.”

--

Three weeks later

“ Ahh, Hyung! I was supposed to marry Y/N!” Jungkook whines while helping you put your suitcase in his car.

end.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Do not repost, translate, or alternate my work in any way, onto any platform. I do not take plagiarism lightly.

[autumn-foxfire]

Tbh I feel kind of indifferent to, if not straight up let down by, the Mirio reveal (tho perhaps that’s bc I was hyping myself for a Jeanist - Hawks “how to get away with (fake) murder” flashback for the past 2 weeks). I don’t know - I just feel like one big reveal after another is getting kind of old (I highly doubt there will be any more, besides maybe Monoma and the rest of Class 1B coming in as backup next chapter since they were foreshadowed by Juzo and Setsuna). (1/5)

Like - there’s definitely build up to a Mirio returning. I’m not going to deny that. But it also just feels like a deus ex machina moment - especially since? Where the hell was he before now??? Idk. Maybe it’s just bc I feel pretty neutral about Mirio as a character. One thing I am interested in the possibility of him returning would be the HPSC injecting themselves into his life (and also have more involvement in UA in general). (2/5)

With Endeavor and Hawks potentially ruined, I could see them looking at Mirio - a shiny new icon with no skeletons in his closet - and trying to promote him to quell the unease set about by the destruction this arc. He was commented on being closer to #1 than anyone else (a comment I always thought was weird until now), which I think is foreshadowing for perhaps him being pushed into the #1 spot. (3/5)

Honestly, as a Hawks fan, it kind of irks me just bc going too fast and taking on too much responsibility was Hawks’ thing, and Mirio replacing him is just - urgh. On the other hand, Hawks potentially separating from the HPSC (vigilante Hawks mayhaps??) would be really relieving to see. There’s also the fact that one of the big themes is that there shouldn’t be a whole bunch of responsibility on any 1 person’s shoulders (a big lesson Midoriya needs to learn) (4/5)

and so I think a potential storyline of Mirio struggling with his new role could be eye-opening to Midoriya and really drill that into him. Then again, maybe I’m reaching and there won’t be any plot like that! But the potential of Mirio replacing Hawks as the HPSC protege (I wonder if they’ll try to get their hands on Eri…) was one of my first thoughts seeing him return in this critical moment. They might still keep Hawks around for spy stuff tho idk (5/5)

I always love hearing your thoughts Robin! (...sorry it took me so long to reply though T-T)

To be honest, I was disappointed with the Dabi reveal happening this arc because it felt like too much happening too quickly (plus it kind of trumped Shigaraki’s big moment as well which is strange to see considering Shigaraki’s moment should have been the climax considering he’s the main villain of the series. I guess Horikoshi was trying to shake it up a little but I think he’s undermined Shigaraki in doing so (at least imo)), and so I do agree with you about how you feel about Mirio’s return too.

The question of where the hell he’s been is one that’s been plaguing me as well. It’s not like he was Best Jeanist, who needed to stay hidden until the time was right or it could ruin the raid, not do that League have any sort of connection to Eri anymore that Mirio returning on the field would be such a huge shock.

If I were to reach, there is the potential that he was purposely held back until the situation was dire so his appearance would bring hope to the heroes and civilians watching the broadcast (much like Best Jeanist did) but then that also has the heavy implications that the HPSC predicted this could be the fallout (which would be something I could see the HPSC doing considering they’ve had no qualms about sacrificing civilians before). It’s just a very suspicious circumstance for Mirio to arrive just the moment they needed him.

And as much as it hurts to think about Hawks being tossed aside, I could see the HPSC focusing on someone else if it meant boosting the trust the public has in them and heroes that Hawks would struggle to achieve due to the fact that public would probably still doubt him. It would be extremely heartbreaking to see as a Hawks simp (but I would hope the heroes would have his back in that case).

It would be interesting for Mirio to be a proxy for Deku to show him what happens when a person is given to much responsibility for him to handle by himself, especially because Mirio is supposed to represent the ‘perfect’ successor of One for All. I could also see Deku once again contemplating giving One for All up to Mirio (with the HPSC maybe be pressuring him too) because of such a fact. It would be major Deku angst for sure and would be a good way to explore his insecurities once again as well as look into the corrupt parts of the hero system as well.

Only time will tell what Hori is planning to do with Mirio. I’ll be annoyed if he’s just used as a deus ex machina though :/

[jerkbitchidjitassbutt]

What If I Told You (9)

Characters: Jensen x Reader; Jared Padalecki; SPN Cast members at times.

Summary: You and Jensen have been the closest of friends for years after meeting on the set of SPN, but what will happen when you and Jensen have a kissing scene?

Warnings: Cursing; divorce; break up; angst-ish at times, but mostly fluff. For this chapter: Canon divergence from the show, spn-related sadness.

I consider this an AU, as Jensen is divorced from an unnamed ex in this fic. This is completely a work of fiction, and I wouldn’t want his reality to be any different, this is purely for entertainment.

A/n: Just a tiny bit more until the big one. Flashbacks are in italics.

The darkened wood of the porch swing rasped slightly as you swung back and forth, but the only sound that rung in your ears was your own heartbeat. Jensen’s eyes glazed as they stared into yours, the words he’d just spoken hanging heavily in the air.

“I was begging myself not to leave you.”

He gave you a small smile, as if to say a million words with a single action that was only meant for you.

Leaning slightly into his side, the scent of his aftershave filling your senses, you reassured him, “Don’t worry, Jay. I promise, I’m not going anywhere.” You whispered.

His dimples appeared as he gave a genuine, gorgeous smile. “You know…” he began, gazing at the jade lawn and blossoming blooms of the small garden, “this is a pretty nice place.”

Taking in the scenery, you agreed. The home itself was picturesque. “Yeah. Something I’d like to have one day.”

Jensen gripped your hand tightly before Clint whistled for you gently, hoping to usher you into the waiting SUV to take you back to set. Jensen, Jared, and Misha had one more scene to film on location at the ‘borrowed’ house with the red front door and another down the road, but it was already nearing four o’clock in the afternoon and you were due back at the studio for make-up and wardrobe removal.

The two of you stood from the swing on the front porch and, to your surprise, Jensen walked you down the steps and sidewalk to your bodyguard’s vehicle.

Jensen quickly stepped in front of you to grip the handle, opening the back door and gesturing for you to slide in.

“Ever the gentleman.” You giggled, feeling a rush to your cheeks.

“Well, you know me… gotta keep it interesting.” He smirked.

You halted before stepping in through the open door and turned to face him. Jensen had caged you within the frame of the door and his body, resting his hands both on the door and the cool metal of the car’s frame, blocking you from the remainder of those on set. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust those he worked with, but he was a man that enjoyed his privacy, especially with those he was closest to.

You felt suddenly small in the confines of the space and under the watchful gaze of Jensen. He was the person you felt most comfortable around and knew you to the depths of your secrets, yet in this moment you felt as though all new ones were coming to the surface. You wrung your hands into knots behind your back as you swayed onto the balls of your feet, anxiously posing, “So, I guess I’ll see you at Rob’s thing tonight?”

“Yeah. Yeah—I’ll be there. I want to say ‘screw it’ and run off with you now and, uh… have that talk, but you know how it is. I’ve got to get back in there.” He said, seemingly nervous as well, but also collected and steady.

“No, yeah… I get that. No worries.” You sputtered, casting your eyes to your shoes for no reason at all, other than to avoid his.

“Hey.” He said, releasing the hand that was holding the door to tuck it beneath your chin, he index finger and thumb planting themselves to turn your face to him. “It’ll happen sweetheart. I promise. I’m anxious too, don't worry.”

You smiled in his embrace. He had an unexplainable gift of knowing precisely what you needed to hear. It was almost as if you were consistently thinking that you were going to wake up and it would all have been a dream; the kiss, the message, the emotions he had expressed, but he was doing everything to ensure you knew it wasn't.

“Okay. Promise?” you said with a smirk, extending your pinky finger.

He eyed your outstretched hand with a grin, releasing your chin to lock his smallest finger with yours. As he enclosed it around his own, he tugged it gently towards him, pulling you closer to lay a gentle, quick peck of a kiss to your lips that left a tingle in its wake. “Promise.”

He retreated to the sidewalk as you hopped onto the leather seat of Clint’s car and shut the door for you, waving as the car sped off down the street.

You cast your eyes out of the darkened glass of the window, eyeing the man who had shaken you to your core who was still standing on the gray sidewalk. He seemed even more beautiful in the late afternoon light that shown behind him, blooming in iridescence and arcs of color.

Secretly, Jensen was as nervous and apprehensive as you were, but he couldn’t deny any longer that this was what he wanted and now—now he was sure you felt the same. All of the trepidation from days past was slowly dwindling to new nerves; now he just wanted to make everything perfect. If he was honest with himself, this was no longer a question of whether, it was a question of how.

.....

Yesterday

“Hey man, glad you made it.” Jared said, not standing from his seat on his couch when Jensen let himself in through the front door of his apartment. Gen and the kids were with family in Austin in their new home, so Jared was by himself for the majority of this season.

“Yeah, thanks for the call.” Jensen said sarcastically.

“Oh, I’m sorry. Did I… interrupt something?” he enunciated.

“No.” Jensen replied immediately and a little too quickly. “No. Well—maybe? I don't know.”

That was enough to make Jared quickly stand. His long limbs carried him to where Jensen was pacing, fists shoved tightly into his leather jacket when his friend reached him. “Tell me what happened.”

“Well.” He began, “We kissed.”

“Yeah, and?” Jared probed.

Jensen looked at his friend with a slightly stunned expression, “I… I don't know, man. I don't think I’ve ever had a kiss like that. It was just supposed to be rehearsal kiss, but I couldn’t stop myself.”

Jared hid the smirk that was sneaking below the surface, an unmistakable glint in his friend’s eye—it wasn’t just a kiss. There was more to be told. “Okay, what else happened?”

Jensen paused, his eyes widening with realization as he replayed the rehearsed scene in his mind, “I said her name.” he all but sighed.

“Huh?” Jared asked, confused.

“In the scene… I said Y/n instead of Y/c/n… when I said, ‘I love you’. It was part of the script and I—I messed up. I let it slip.”

Jared could sense the battle raging in his friend’s mind, so he pushed further, “Okay, so what is it?”

Jensen raised a brow, curious as to where his friend’s mind was leading, “What do you mean?”

Using his height to boost himself, Jared perched against his kitchen counter, his long legs and torso making it easy to prop his hips against the marble and gestured towards his friend, “What’s holding you back? What’s making it so hard for you to admit that it wasn’t a slip up at all, but that you actually do feel that way for her? You said it was about your friendship—that you didn’t want to ruin it, but could it be something deeper than that? I get it if you’re scared, man. You don’t want to get hurt again or put yourself out there if it’s not given back. But answer me this…  Was there anything behind that kiss that makes you question it? In that moment, did you even question if she felt it too?”

Jensen let himself relive the feeling of holding you in his arms, the softness of your skin underneath his fingertips, and the fire that erupted in his chest the minute his lips touched yours.

Jared’s lip curled at the edges as he watched Jensen’s expression shift from shock and confusion to realization as he asked, “Do you really think she—”

“Yeah.” Jared interrupted, clasping his friend on the shoulder. “Yeah, I think she does. Now, the only question is: are you going to let your fear of ruining your ‘friendship’ ruin any chance with her, or are you gonna go for it? Because, if you want my advice—which you always do…” he said, giving a slight, boastful bow, “I think you should go for it. No more games, no more ‘what-ifs’… nothing. Just take the dive.”

Jensen felt his chest tighten with excitement at the thought. Giving his friend a nod and a smile, he left with a resolve and a dinner appointment with the executives of the studio fast approaching, one which he could only hope would pass quickly.

After reaching your voicemail later that night, he only contemplated stopping by your place about five hundred times before returning to his own apartment, sauntering in through the hallway littered with photos. He wasn’t always a nostalgic or ‘feely’ guy, but when it came to his friends and family, he liked to have a reminder of who was behind him through it all. He passed photos of his parents and siblings, of childhood friends who stood the test of time into adulthood, and of Jared and Misha.

Jensen took pause in front of one taken about a year ago, of the two of you on set in Impala. You were nestled under the crook of his arm, tucked into his side and holding him around his waist, but your face was beautifully lit up with laughter. Your eyes were closed, and a brilliant smile made your cheeks a rosy tint. He had just told you what was probably the lamest joke in history, but it tickled you to well into tears after the photo was snapped.

Trust. Laughter. Safety. Excitement. Love. Everything he’d ever want in a relationship—and it was right in front of him.

He couldn’t wait anymore, he had to jump in.

.....

Jared bounded down the front steps in his Sam Winchester attire and clapped Jensen on the shoulder, “Hey man. You gonna take my advice?”

A grin fell upon his lips as your car slipped from view, “Yeah… Yeah, I am.”

<Series Masterlist / Part 10>

A/n 2: I received an anon ask when I was looking for fic ideas(see below) for a Jensen x actress!reader fic a while ago, but recently got hit with a spark of inspiration. This is based off of the song “What if I Said” by Anita Cochran and Steve Wariner and will be a short mini-series. Also there is a wife mentioned in some parts, but I purposefully left this person nameless as to not insinuate anything for Jensen’s real life.                                                                

Anonymous said: Hi! Just saw your post about looking for fic ideas. I’ve had this idea that I really like where reader is an actor on Supernatural and is friends with Jensen. They have a scene where they have to kiss or even just have to be right up in each other’s space and it makes them realize they like each other. It’s probably a common thing to write about, but I thought I’d ask anyway. Thanks!

[theotherackerman]

My Mind Turns Your Life Into Folklore

COPYRIGHT DISCLAIMER: Any recognizable elements belong to Attack on Titan.

NOTES: New Year’s Day January 1st, Friday

Trigger warning: mentions of self harm and suicide.

song credit:

exile- taylor swift featuring bon iver, Ymir is singing the first verse that bon iver sings

CHAPTER FOUR:  second, third, and hundredth chances

As she drove out the cemetery, she began to realize how strange this truly was. Eren used to be the one who drove everywhere. Mikasa wasn’t a big fan of driving due to the car accident she had been through as a child. It was a necessary evil in her mind. Yet here she was driving Eren home. Their roles had reversed in a sense.

“Do you not drive anymore?” She broke the awkward silence between them.

“Not really.”

“Can I ask why?”

“You can but I won’t tell you.”

Mikasa was glad the roads were empty as she slammed on the breaks. Eren jolted forward and then back again.

“Mikasa!”

“Stop it! Just stop! Stop acting like this. What could I have possibly done to make you act like this? What did I love you too much? Did I give you too much? Just tell me what I did!” Mikasa had broken. The sadness inside her had been replaced with nothing but pure rage. “You owe me that much, Eren.”

Eren sighed, “fine, just get out of the middle of the street.”

Mikasa began driving again.

Eren sighed again. “I don’t drive because I don’t have a license anymore.”

“Why don’t you have a license anymore?” She had a feeling, in the pit of her stomach, that she already knew.

“Because I crashed my car when I was drunk. Hit a building. No one was hurt besides me. Car was totaled. Building was set for demolition anyway so the people really didn’t care. Spent the night handcuffed to a hospital bed while Zeke worked everything else out with lawyers. Just ended up losing my license.”

“Is that why you couldn’t walk?”

“No, that was because of my liver.”

“Why didn't you tell me?”

“I didn’t think you’d care.”

Mikasa stopped at the red light and looked over at Eren. He was staring out the window, no emotion on his face.

The rest of the ride was spent in silence until they reached the old house. Mikasa knew this house as well as she knew her own home with Levi. She was shocked to see a for sale sign on the front lawn.

“You’re selling it?” She asked as she pulled into the driveway and parked.

“Yeah, I’m never here. I’m at Zeke’s place most of the time. I only moved back here temporarily to get the house in order to sell.”

Mikasa hadn’t expected that to hurt but it did for some reason. She had spent a lot of time here as a child. She could still see Carla in the kitchen watching over her, Armin, and Eren.

She understood it though. She had moved to the city with her friends, after all.

“Did you want to come in?” He asked after a few moments of awkward silence.

“Yeah, I’ll come in.”

“Okay,” Eren got out of the car first and she followed him, locking her car behind her.

Eren unlocked the door and held it open for Mikasa to come in.

“Thanks,” she told him as she walked in.

Stacks of boxes were all over the living room, that was the only thing that had changed. The walls were still covered in pictures, the bookshelves were still full. Mikasa began to wander the room but she didn’t dare look at the pictures. The couch was still in the middle of the room, tv mounted on the wall. Grisha’s leather chair and Carla’s rocking chair were still side by side.

She missed Carla. She could see her sitting there in her mind. Her welcoming smile. She missed the woman as much as Eren did. She rested her hand on the chair for a moment as if she was willing Carla to come back to life. She couldn’t help but wonder if Carla was here, would this still have happened?

“What did I do wrong?” She asked again as she turned around to face him.

Eren sighed, “nothing.”

“Well, there has to be something for you to say those horrible things! Eren…”

Eren sat down on the couch. “It’s better this way.”

“Why?”

He stood up and began to walk away.

“Why?” She knew she was pressing her luck but she didn’t care. She could feel the rage running through her veins like she had in the car.

“Because I’ll be a burden to you!” He yelled.

“You don’t get to make that choice!”

Eren stopped and silently turned towards her.

“Maybe I wanted to share your burdens!” She took a step closer to him. “That’s what friends do. I thought I was more than that. I thought I was family.”

“That’s all? Family?” he scoffed.

“Eren...I thought I was your future.”

Eren moved from across the room so quickly Mikasa wasn’t able to process what was going on until his lips were on hers. His hands were in her short hair, he wasn’t pulling away this time. She responded, moving her lips against his. Oh, how she had missed this. Her hands gripped onto his shirt pulling him closer to her. He walked her backwards so that her back was pressed against the wall. Just as she wrapped her legs around his waist, the front door opened.

“OH! I’ll come back later…”

With that, the door closed again.

Both of them began to blush as they untangled themselves from one another.

“Zeke?” Mikasa asked and Eren nodded.

“Zeke. Guess he got done with….whatever he was doing earlier.”

“He says you’re an asshole and a fucking idiot. His words, not mine,” Mikasa laughed a little.

“He’s not wrong,” Eren laughed before looking away from her.

“Talk to Armin. He needs you. Talk to me. Don’t...push us away...again.” She reached out and touched his face, making him look at her again.

“Mikasa, I’m fucked up, more than you know and once you know….” He placed his hand over hers on his face.

“What am I going to do? Run? I’m not a coward!” She removed her hand from his face and took a step back.

Eren sighed again, “you two are better off without me.”

“I told you, you don’t get to make that choice. Armin and I will. I leave on the 8th. I’ll talk to Armin, we’ll meet before then.”

“You’re not giving me a choice here, are you?” He asked as he walked back over to the couch and sat down.

“No, I’m not. You owe Armin and I the truth. All of it. You have the same number?” She pulled out her phone.

Eren nodded, “yeah. I didn’t change it. Do you still have it?”

“I couldn’t delete you. I tried but...I couldn’t.” She put her phone back into her pocket.

There was a knock on the door before it opened.

“Sorry to interrupt but I seemed to have locked the keys in the van,” Zeke announced as he walked in.

“I should be going anyway, Levi is probably wondering where I am.”

Eren just nodded.

“I’ll see you later, Eren,” she promised.

And with that, Mikasa walked to the door.

“OW! What was that for?!” She heard Eren yell as she began to close the door.

“You are a fucking idiot, that’s what.” Zeke replied.

Mikasa couldn’t help but smile to herself as she walked to her car.

----------------------------------------

“So I see you listened and talked to her. I can leave once we get the car unlocked and you can continue...wear protection..” Zeke said as went to the closet to grab a wire hanger. 

“I’m not going to have sex with Mikasa after you leave. It was just...the heat of the moment…” Eren said as his face went red and he rubbed the back of his neck.

 “And if I would not have walked it?” Zeke smirked.

“Please stop,” Eren pleaded as he walked out of the door.

“I just want to make sure my little brother is prepared,” Zeke called after him as he followed Eren out the door. 

“Stop. I hate you, you know that?” Eren said as he walked towards the van.

 “That is a lie and we both know it. I told you to talk to her and I was right.”

 “Please stop talking. When does Pieck get done today? Isn’t it time for you to annoy her yet?”

“No, unfortunately she is booked with engagement shoots today.”

“Just give me the damn hanger,” Eren sighed as he held his hand out. 

------------------------------------------------------

When Mikasa arrived at the Ackerman house, this time she was not greeted by two barking  puppies. As she took her shoes off at the front door, she noticed the dogs were nowhere to be seen.

“Levi and Hange left with the dogs,” she heard Ymir’s voice say.

“What are you doing here? I thought you went with Historia.”

“I did. Then Rod kicked me out. Historia had the limo drop me back off.”

Mikasa could hear the coffee maker running.

The amount of coffee that Ymir drank in a single day was ridiculous.

“Why?” Mikasa hung her jacket up on the coat hanger by the door. She then remembered she still had Eren’s in her bag, wherever Levi had put it. She made a mental note to find it and give it  back to him.

“Because he’s an ass. I don’t know. He wanted to talk to her and Freida about something. Apparently, I’m not family as he likes to remind me constantly. So I came back here. Levi and Hange were leaving just as I came in. I have no idea where they went. ” Ymir came from the kitchen holding a cup of coffee. “So you going to tell me why you have sex hair?” She asked as she raised an eyebrow.

“ I don’t have sex hair!” Mikasa protested.

“Okay, if you say so,” Ymir said as she lifted the coffee cup.

“....I ran into Eren at the graveyard.”

“So you had sex with your ex at the graveyard. I mean sounds weird to me but if that’s what you’re into, I’m not going to judge.”

“I didn’t have sex with Eren at the graveyard! I drove him home and we got into a fight. I told him he owed me an explanation for everything. So he invited me in.”

“So you had sex with your ex at his house? Boring but okay.”

“I didn’t have sex with Eren! We just...kissed...but more than last night.”

“You kissed Eren last night?!”

“Well he kissed me but it wasn’t long. Then he left but this time, Zeke came in.”

“So his brother cockblocked him. I’m starting to like this Zeke guy more and more.”

“Yes but no. We talked for a little bit more and then I told Eren he owed Armin and I an explanation. I was here until the 8th and I’d set him up. I didn’t give him a choice, actually.”

Ymir wrapped her arm around Mikasa’s shoulders tightly. “There’s the Mikasa I know and love! I mean, your angst is great for the album and you needed to heal so I didn’t say anything. But that’s...that’s the girl I met in high school. Take no shit Ackerman style!”

Mikasa could feel her cheeks turning red.

“So why were you at the graveyard?” Ymir removed her arm from Mikasa’s shoulders and sat down in Levi’s chair. She put her coffee cup down the coaster on the coffee table.

Mikasa wandered over to the couch and sat down.

“Visiting Mom and Dad and Carla. I visit them every New Year’s. Christmas….too many people. I like to talk to them.” She didn’t know why she felt embarrassed about it.

“That’s the look Armin gave you, that makes sense.”

“Yeah….”

“I haven’t gone and seen my mom since she died. Dad….longer than that.”

“Do you remember anything about them?”

“Not really.”

Ymir didn’t open up about her family very often. Mikasa never pushed for answers with her. She knew the basics. Ymir had been in foster care as a child, just like Annie had. Neither of them had any family step up to take care of them after their biological parents had passed. Annie was adopted by her first foster father while Ymir had moved around from place to place until she was sixteen. Then Ymir went through the emancipation process.

“Alright, let’s work on the new song you wrote,” Ymir said as she walked over into the sunroom.

Mikasa’s keyboard was still set up, music resting on it.

Mikasa pulled the piano bench from the grand piano over to the keyboard. She sat down, Ymir sat down next to her.

“Okay, so how is Historia going to hit this low note right here? The notes for the entire first verse are too low for her. Do you think she planned for this to be a duet?”

“I hope so because I wrote it as one. So the first verse is for you to sing. I wrote it from your perspective too. “

Ymir stared at Mikasa for a moment. “Wait, what? Do you not write all of these about Eren?”

“No, I write from my friend’s perspectives sometimes. You and Historia happened to be having problems so I wrote this as you and her. The first verse is you speaking to her.”

Mikasa began to play the introduction of the song.

“[lyrics redacted due to copyright],”  Ymir’s voice rang out through the house.

Mikasa enjoyed the fact that Ymir had a lower voice similar to hers.

“Is that about the farmer or Reiner?” Ymir asked.

“Both. So you sing this whole first verse.”

“[lyrics redacted due to copyright],”

“Yeah, is that okay?” Mikasa just realized maybe her friends weren’t okay with her writing about them.

“It’s fucking brilliant,” Ymir reassured her. “What’s next?”

“This is the chorus but I thought for the first one, you’d sing it alone.”

“[lyrics redacted due to copyright].”

“So then there’s vocalization which I thought Annie could do. Then Historia would do the next verse and chorus. Then there’s a….”

BANG!

BANG!

BANG!

Someone was pounding hard on the front door.

“Who the hell is that?” Ymir asked as she went towards the window to see who was out there. “It’s Historia but there’s no limo, no car. How the hell she’d get here?”

Ymir threw the door open to a sobbing Historia.

Mikasa left the sun room as soon as she heard Historia’s sobs.

“It’s gone. It’s all gone. My money. My car...the recording contract. I’m so sorry.”

[noonachronicles]

Just One More Time

Yoo Kihyun x Reader (ft. Park Jinyoung)

Word Count: 5.1k

Genre: Angst (Supposedly), Fluff (?)

Warning: Two curse words. Steamy kiss. 

Authors Note: For @prettywordsyouleft​! Thanks for the request Chelle! 

#13 - You did a wonderful job convincing people that you love me, I almost fell for it.

“Are you ready?” Kihyun asked taking a quick look at himself in the rearview mirror. He adjusted a single piece of hair and straightened his tie.

“Are you?” you asked, watching him with mild amusement. “This is your deal not mine.”

“I think I am. Do I look okay?” he asked nervously, “Is the tie too much?”

“The tie is fine.” you grinned, “You look very handsome, Ki. I am honored to be your pretend girlfriend. You’re definitely getting pretend laid tonight.”

In a rare moment of suspended anxiety he let out a laugh.

“Thank you again.” He said and looked over at you, “I really appreciate you doing this. I know I’ve been insane. I know I’ll be crazy for the next several hours. So I want you to know how grateful I am and, you know, please just stick with me.”

“Oh. I’ll stick with you,” you nodded, “because after this...you’re gonna owe me. Big.”

-

It had been a pretty uneventful Friday night in for you. You’d ordered a pizza and settled onto the couch with a glass of red wine, and eight more episodes of the drama you’d been watching. Four episodes in the main characters were possibly about to kiss for the first time, and you’d just put on your peel off face mask.

Then there was a knock on the door. Your forehead would have creased in confusion but the face mask had gotten pretty tight already. It was past midnight and you definitely weren’t expecting anyone.

Another knock came and you got up from the couch, cautiously making your way to the door. You tried to peek through the window unnoticed when the third knock came and you let out a loud terrified shriek.

“Y/n?” came a voice through the door.

“Kihyun?” You quickly unlocked the door and pulled it open.

Yoo Kihyun was your neighbor. You didn’t know all that much about him, despite having been neighbors for nearly five years. You knew he had a nice smile. It seemed from his lack of past due notices that he paid his bills on time. And from what you could tell from the way he always smelled nice, he showered regularly. All of these things you had gathered from the brief interactions you’d shared with him at the mailbox.

You remembered he’d had a girlfriend when he first moved in but she was gone after a few months. And about a year ago he’d started seeing someone else pretty regularly from what you could tell though she hadn’t been around for awhile either. He had a core group of friends that came over every other friday, though you weren’t sure what for. As far as things people knew about their neighbors, you didn’t think what you knew was anything too crazy or stalkerish.

A couple weeks earlier you’d found a piece of his mail in with yours. Clearly it had gotten stuck to the coupon mailer in your stack, it wasn’t that big of a deal. Before you could decide if you should just go shove it in his box and be done with it or go to his door and hand deliver it, he showed up at your door. He’d gotten one of your envelopes in with his own mail and was delivering it to you.

At the time you’d assumed that was that. Your one chance at an interaction with your handsome neighbor over and done before you even had a chance to blink. Apparently not.

“I need your help.” he said shoving his way through the door as soon as you’d gotten it unlocked.

“Does this have anything to do with you being drunk?” you asked, following the near stranger into your own living room.

“No. You think I’m drunk?” He asked, eyeing your mess of a coffee table and grabbing the half full glass of wine, “Can I have this wine though? Cheers.”

“Uh.” You watched as he swallowed all of it in a single gulp. “Sure.”

“Are you going to help me or not?” He asked frantically.

“Help you with what?”

“Oh, right.” He belched and made a face before looking back at you, “Remember when you stole my mail?”

“I didn’t steal your mail. You also had my mail…”

“Whatever, so you remember.” You continued to watch him as he sat down on your couch and grabbed a pillow to squeeze in a hug. “My friend is getting married. It was an invitation. The mail. I am a gentleman and I said I would go. So I had friends over for dinner tonight, I made penne a lotta vodka. Delicious. Everyone loved it. There was bread. Salad. Accoutrement.”

“Penne alla vodka?” You asked.

“Yeah that’s what I said. Please listen.” He said throwing a sassy hand your way. “My friend Minh- Min- Minhy- we’ll call him Min, says my ex girlfriend is gonna be at the wedding. At the wedding even! He says this to me. And! And! Get this...get this...get this okay?”

“I will get it as soon as you say it.” You assured him.

“She’s got a plus one. A boyfriem. Friem. Freimd. He’s a kid doctor. Not a doctor that’s a kid but a doctor of kids.”

“Yep, I got it.”

As the moments passed you weren’t sure if you were finding your neighbor more or less attractive. At the very least he was amusing as hell.

He looked at you, squinting, for a long quiet minute before asking, “What is wrong with your face?”

“Huh?” You patted your cheek and remembered the face mask, “peel off mask.”

“Good so you’ll help me.” He said and stood up from the couch, still squeezing your throw pillow.

“Sorry, help you what?” You asked again.

“You’ll be the date to my wedding. Plus one. You. Me. Electric slide.” He both winked and gave you finger guns. “Pew pew pew! It’ll be great. Jealous girlfriend.”

Watching as he left your house without another word left you quite stunned, especially since he’d gone with your pillow and left the door wide open. At least when you looked outside he had made it back into his own home safely. Confused about whether or not you were actually expected to go to this wedding with him you shut the door and went back to the living room.

“No!” You groaned looking at the screen where the main couple had just slow-mo’d through their first kiss from several angles and you’d missed it.

-

That was how you’d ended up and Soohi and Seokjin’s wedding. How you’d ended up twirling around the dance floor in your gorgeous yellow dress with a thirteen year old boy named Minho was a different story and one whose details you weren’t entirely sure of.

“Kihyun.” Soohi sighed dramatically, “I. Love. Her.”

“Who?” he laughed as she grabbed his cheeks in her palms.

“Y/n!” she cried, and then leaned and whispered, “I’ll be honest, I have never liked any of your girlfriends. I only invited Mina because I knew she knew I was getting married and it seemed rude not to, but I never liked her. Y/n, oh god she’s perfect.”

“I’m glad you like her.” he said and looked over at you, now surrounded by no less than four thirteen year old boys.

“Marry her, Kihyun.” Soohi begged, “She’s funny, and she doesn’t put up with your shit, and she curbs all your weird compulsions. You’ll never find anyone else like her. Trust me. I just love her. Maybe I should marry her.”

“I think you should.” he agreed.

“Soo are you drunk? I’ve only seen you have a glass of champagne.” Seokjin asked his bride.

She turned, wrapping her arms around her husband, “Drunk off love Jin! LOVE!”

“With that I congratulate you both on a beautiful wedding and an endless love. I should, however, save my date from her prepubescent suitors.” Kihyun laughed, patting his friend on the back before making his way to the dancefloor.

He watched you for a moment longer from the edge of the dance floor as you laughed and danced with the group of lovestruck teens. You were fun. And cute. You had nice legs, though your ability to use them to dance was questionable. You’d made him laugh more in the week you’d spent together than Mina had made him laugh the entire time they dated. You even agreed to him drunkenly asking you to accompany him to this wedding in the first place, like a saint. However, he reminded himself, you weren’t actually his girlfriend.

The upbeat party tune had turned into something slow and romantic. Kihyun reached his hand through the throng of young men and offered it to you.

“Sorry gentlemen, but this beautiful woman is mine and I will be taking her back now.” He said as he caught your eye.

You took his hand and he pulled you into his arms as your fanboys groaned and left the floor.

“Took you long enough to join me.” You smiled, placing your hand on his shoulder.

“Well, yes. I was a bit preoccupied listening to every single one of my friends tell me how much they love you.” He grinned, leading you across the dancefloor.

“I really like them too.” You said genuinely, “Sad for everyone that we’re breaking up in like three or four hours.”

Kihyun laughed and tightened his grip around you. “Yeah, it is a little sad isn’t it?”

“I guess we just have to enjoy it while it lasts.” you smiled, and leaned your head against him.

-

“I need you to be my boyfriend again.” you said as Kihyun opened his front door.

“What?”

“The mail you stole from me?” You grinned at the look he gave you “It was also a wedding invitation. I planned on going solo. But after the wedding Soohi added me on Facebook and tagged me in a bunch of pictures. One of them was of us and she had captioned it `World's Cutest Couple’.”

“I know the picture that you speak of.” he opened the door all the way as an invitation and you stepped inside.

“Good. So my cousin, it’s her wedding that I’m invited to, saw the picture of us together at Soohi’s wedding and she wants me to bring you.” you explained as you followed him into the kitchen, “I tried to tell her we weren’t together and she wouldn’t hear it. She’s called me everyday for the last week. Plus she told her mother who told my mother, who has also called every single day for the last week. Crying, Kihyun, she cried to me. How could I have a boyfriend and not tell her? So can you just come with me? I just want like one week where I’m not being called constantly by family members.”

Kihyun, standing in front of the stove, looked over his shoulder with a smirk, “If you wanted me to be your date all you had to do was ask. You didn’t need a big elaborate made up story. I owe you anyway.”

“It’s not a big elab…” you groaned, “It’s the truth, but thank you anyway. One more fake date and we’re all even.”

“Sounds like a deal.” he said and turned around, holding out his spoon to you. “Taste this.”

With a hum you leaned forward and tasted the sauce he’d offered you, “Kihyun...that’s delicious. What is it?”

“Creamy garlic chicken which will be served on a bed of artichoke risotto.”

You leaned against the counter and sighed, “Fancy. Who are you having over for dinner?”

He shrugged, “Just me. Unless you’re hungry?”

You pretended, poorly, to think about it and then smiled. “I’m starving. I’ll have to go put my microwave dinner back in the freezer. Should I bring back a bottle of wine?”

“Yes, I would love that!” He said enthusiastically, “Best fake girlfriend ever.”

With a dramatic bow you hurried home and back for a delicious meal with your boyfriend that wasn’t your boyfriend.

-

Kihyun fed you a piece of his white chocolate raspberry cake off his fork as you fed him a piece of your cookies and cream cake. It was your plan as soon as you’d figured out there were two different flavored cakes at this wedding. You hummed with delight as you let the flavors take over your tastebuds. He nodded as he thought over his decision. As the both of you sat quietly he lifted his hand and moved your hair back behind your ear, readjusting the flower you’d tucked inside of it earlier after taking it out of the centerpiece on the table.

“I think,” you said finally, “I like yours better.”

He shook his head, “No way, cookies and cream all the way. Mine is good but the raspberry is too tart.”

“Hmm.” You looked over at the table and then back to Kihyun, “Switch?”

With a simple nod he adjusted the plates on the table and looked over at you, “Do you ever wear the same dress to different weddings? Or do you always buy a new one?”

You looked down at your blue silk dress and shrugged, “I guess I just always buy a new one.”

“Fascinating, I’ve worn the same suit to every event I’ve been to in the last three years. Birthdays, weddings, holidays. I just switch ties.”

“Well you don’t have to brag.” You laughed.

“Is it bragging? Don’t you like getting new clothes?” He asked.

“Yes and no.” You answered, “I like new clothes but I don’t really have any excuses to wear them again. Dresses you wear to weddings are more like dresses you wear on dates and less like dresses you’d wear to work. And I don’t go on dates. So all these dresses just get washed, hung up, and forgotten.”

“You should go on more dates.” He said it like it was simple.

You rolled your eyes. “Oh? Should I? I had never thought of that before! Thank god you came into my life Ki. What would I do without you?”

“Alright that’s enough sarcasm for the entire night.” He laughed.

You took another bite of cake and looked over at Kihyun as he watched the guests on the dance floor. He smiled and waved to your mother who had waved over to him from where she was dancing with your father. Your chest ached slightly. He was so handsome and so funny. You’d have loved to be his girlfriend for real, but everytime he talked about you it was fake girlfriend this and fake girlfriend that. He made it clear, over and over again, exactly what this partnership was.

“She adores you.” you muttered.

“Who?” he asked looking back at you.

“My mom. My aunt. My cousins.” you waved your hand around the room, “Basically any ‘she’ at this reception.”

“Now you know how it feels.” he said smugly.

“How what feels?”  

“Sitting in a room filled with people you’re going to disappoint when you tell them you and your fake significant other have broken up.” he laughed, “It’s exactly how I felt the other week.”

You groaned, “Poor mom. She’s never going to forgive me for losing you.”

-

“Just one more time.” Kihyun pleaded as he handed you a container.

“What’s this?” You asked pulling the door open for him.

Once he made it inside you kicked the door shut and he followed you to the living room where you plopped on the couch.

“A bribe.”

You opened the lid and sniffed at the homemade brownies. A giant smile taking over your face. “So what do you want this time?”

“It’s my birthday.”

“Happy Birthday!” you held the container out to him, “Birthday brownie?”

“No.” he chuckled, “It’s not today, it’s this weekend. Saturday. My friends are throwing me a party. Dinner and drinks, nothing crazy. Karaoke, I think?”

Your forehead creased in confusion. “You want me to go with you? Don’t they think we broke up.”

Kihyun’s face scrunched, “I...didn’t...tell them. I was going to! I was going to tell them when they came over for that next Friday dinner, but you asked me to your cousin’s wedding. I didn't want to have to explain why I went to a wedding with my ex, so I thought I’d wait until this latest Friday dinner, and then they dropped the news about the birthday dinner. They asked if you’d be there and I, in retrospect should have told them then, but instead I said you would be.”

“Okay.” you said simply popping a chunk of brownie in your mouth.

“Really? Just like that?” he asked.

“It was that or deep clean the bathroom.” you shrugged, “And hey! This way I can pull one of my dusty old dresses out of the closet.”

With a relieved smile he finally grabbed a brownie and sat back on the couch, “What are we watching?”

-

The birthday dinner had been amazing. You got along with all of Kihyun’s friends and they all made sure you knew just how much you were loved by them. They made you laugh so hard your cheeks hurt, and Kihun seemed so happy that you were all getting along so well. The only thing that felt off was the way Jinyoung, who Kihyun introduced as his best friend, was staring at you from across the table. It wasn’t weird or uncomfortable, at least not uncomfortable in a bad way. He watched you and Kihyun like a very casual observer. Collecting little bits of information from every action you took, but you didn’t know why he was doing it.

And you didn’t know why he was looking at you like he wanted to take you home. It seemed inappropriate for him to do it since you were with Kihyun, as far as anyone knew. No matter how inappropriate it seemed, you enjoyed it quite a bit, and even attempted to half flirt with him from across the table. Little looks, subtle smiles, lip bites, running your fingers down your neck. You knew what you were doing but you didn’t know why and worse you didn’t know why you felt bad about it.

When you left to the karaoke bar nearly everyone got too drunk. The front room of the building was a regular bar, and in the back were rooms for private parties. Everyone had been drinking and singing. Some people were singing so much and so loud they were losing their voices. Eventually you ran out of alcohol in the private room so everyone headed back out to the main bar for more. You’d stood up to go as well but Jinyoung had grabbed your hand and pulled you back down onto the cushions.

For awhile it was just a nice conversation. Yes his hand was on your knee and his head was resting on the back of the couch a little too close to your face, but it was still just talking. He asked if you remembered him from the wedding. You talked about Kihyun. He asked you what movies you liked. And you asked him what music he was into. He made you laugh and you thought he had such a gorgeous smile. His little eye crinkle snatched your heart right out of your chest. You weren’t sure how long you’d been in that room alone, but it felt sudden when he just came out and asked what you’d been thinking almost the entire night.

“Can I just kiss you already?” Jinyoung grinned.

“What? I-” you sputtered, “Kihyun.”

“It’s cute that you’ve been pretending to be his girlfriend. Cuter still that you think you two have been convincing.” he ran his tongue over his lips.

You gulped. “How did you know?”

“He doesn’t kiss you. And I know if you were my girlfriend I’d kiss you constantly. I’ve been thinking about doing it ever since I met you for the first time.” He leaned forward and said, “I think...you’ve been thinking about kissing me too.”

You looked around the room expecting someone else to be there but finding no one.

“It’s just us.” Jinyoung said moving his fingers over your neck so gently it almost tickled. “Your secret would be safe.”

It had been a really long time since you’d kissed anyone. And you’d had quite a bit to drink. And Jinyoung was remarkably good looking. Maybe just a little kiss wouldn’t be terrible. A peck in case anyone were to walk in. You still had a deal with Kihyun to be his fake girlfriend. With a quick lick of your lips you leaned forward and pressed your lips to his. You groaned immediately and your face flushed in embarrassment. He had to have known by that sound how long it had been since your last kiss. After a few seconds you pulled back, but just barely.

“Oh no.” you muttered.

“What’s wrong? Is it me?” he asked, scanning your face.

You shook your head. “No, but also yes. Your lips are so nice. I’m going to have to kiss you again.”

“And that’s a problem?” he grinned.

“Yes. You see I was just going to do a little kiss, but now I’m going to have to do a lot more.”

“Okay.” his eyes watched your lips the whole time you spoke and you were finding it difficult to hold back.

He opened his mouth to say something further but you leaned forward and pulled his bottom lip between your teeth instead. He groaned against your mouth and moved so that you were laying back on the cushions of the couch and he was hovering over you. This wasn’t you, this isn’t something you normally did. But his hair was soft and brushing against your forehead and your hands were sliding over his back. You could feel every muscle under his shirt and thinking about it made you want to cry. Your fingers moved over his shoulders and wrapped around his biceps.

A thought had crossed your mind to wrap your leg around his waist but you heard a disappointed Minhyuk say, “Oh no, guys. Don’t do that.”

You leaned your head back to see Kihyun and several of his friends in the doorway of the private karaoke room. He looked more upset than you would have ever expected him to but then you blinked and he was gone.

“Shit.” you pushed your way out from under Jinyoung and went to look for Kihyun.

He was on the side of the building near a dumpster kicking empty crates that had been for beer bottles. When he saw you he just looked at you for a silent moment and then scoffed before turning his back on you. Honestly you weren’t even sure what to say. You didn’t know why he was so upset. You genuinely wondered if he was just playing the role of scorned lover exceedingly well.  

“Kihyun…” you said quietly once it seemed like he’d calmed down.

“Don’t...say anything.” he said turning around to you, “I just- I can’t believe you would do that.”

“You’re right. We shouldn’t have done that here. We should have waited.”

“No, you shouldn’t have done it at all!” he yelled so angrily you stepped back.

“Excuse me?”

Originally you had felt bad for ruining the charade, but now you were just angry. Angry that he was really standing there acting like you’d done something that actually hurt him. You were mad that he was yelling at you like you were a child. You were a grown woman, and he was a grown man who made it pretty obvious that you meant nothing to him.

“You know...You did a wonderful job convincing people that you love me, I almost fell for it!” Kihyun spat at you drunkenly.

“I don’t know why you’re so mad at me!” You screamed back.

“You kissed one of my best friends at my birthday party! When you were supposed to be my girlfriend?”

“But I’m not! Am I? You’re the one that always calls me your fake girlfriend! Always reminding me that none of this was ever real for you!” You didn’t want to cry, you were not going to cry.  “I couldn’t just keep falling in love with you Kihyun! You were never going to love me back. So yeah I found someone who was genuinely interested in me and I kissed him instead.”

“What does that mean? Love you back? What do you mean?” He asked trying to process your words through his alcohol haze.

“Nothing. Forget it, Kihyun.” You shook your head, you were tired and you didn’t want to do this anymore. “Happy birthday, Ki. We’re officially broken up. Enjoy your life, don’t ask me for anymore favors.”

-

A week had passed and you hadn’t heard a single thing from Kihyun since you grabbed a cab and ditched his birthday party. You’d heard from Jinyoung though. He talked to you nearly everyday. He let you know that Kihyun had told his friends the truth about the two of you. Kihyun was sort of forced to when the whole group wanted to exile Jinyoung for kissing you.

In what you assumed was an attempt to avoid you Kihyun had even stopped getting his mail at the same time every day like he usually did, which you guessed was eating him from the inside out since he liked things so orderly and consistent. You weren’t upset about not seeing him, not really. Though you did find yourself peering out of the window more often than you normally did, just in case.

After almost a full second week of constant conversation with Jinyoung he finally asked you out on a date. It was a Friday night date, and you wore one of your favorite wedding dresses, a little red number. Dinner was great and Jinyoung was perfect but you could tell, despite it all, something wasn’t sitting right with you.

“I had a really nice time.” You smiled, albeit weakly, leaning against your front door as he dropped you off.

“Me too.” Jinyoung leaned in to kiss you.

You’d wanted it, or you’d thought you did, but just before his lips landed on yours you turned your face. He kissed your cheek instead. When he pulled away you were both surprised.

“I’m sorry.” You said quietly as you stared at your feet, “I don’t know why I did that.”

He let out a small, soft laugh. “I do.”

“You do?” You asked, finally looking at him.

“I do.” He cupped your face in his hand, brushing his thumb over your cheek. “I still had a really good time tonight, y/n. I’ll see you around.”

Your forehead creased as he walked away. Down the path and to his car. He gave you a wave as he ducked into the driver side and you returned the gesture. Still unsure of what had happened you went inside.

The heels on your feet got ditched in the doorway, and you pulled the pins in your hair, letting it fall over your shoulders. You’d just been about ready to wash off your makeup and put on your pajamas when there was a knock on the door. You figured maybe Jinyoung had left and gone around the corner and come back to apologize for his sudden departure. Instead as soon you unlocked the door and had it opened just an inch, Kihyun was bursting through.

“Good you’re home. I need your help.” He said and moved to the living room. He didn’t even glimpse at you.

You hated that your heart was racing at the sight of him as you followed him. “Please, come in.”

He plopped down on the couch and looked up at you as you walked in the room. He gulped while he looked you over in your slinky red dress, “You look nice. No Friday night face mask?”

“I had a date.” You glared before taking a seat in the chair. “Not that it’s your business.”

“Is Jinyoung here? Should I leave?” He asked looking around casually but it was clear what he was doing.

“No, he’s not here. Maybe you should still leave though.”

He couldn’t help the small smile on his face, both at the dig and the fact that Jinyoung hadn’t come in. “Didn’t go so great then?”

“What do you want, Kihyun?” You sighed.

“It’s almost Christmas.” He said opening what you realized was a calendar. You didn’t even see him carry it in.  “I don’t know about you, but I’ve already been invited to like three holiday parties.”

“Okay…” you took the calendar he offered and looked at the marked dates, “What does this have to do with me?”

“I need you to be my date.” He shrugged.

He was acting like his birthday never happened. You looked up at him in clear confusion. “We’re done fake dating, remember? We broke up for real.”

“Okay but hear me out.” He said and leaned towards you, flipping slowly through the calendar as he spoke. “We are both going to have a bunch of holiday parties to attend. Then there’s New Years. And it just keeps going. January eleventh is International Thank You Day. February, obviously there’s Valentines Day, we’ll need dates for that. March 20th is World Frog day. April has Earth Day. May, International Museum Day, I can’t go to the museum alone. It would be so embarrassing.”

“I got it.” You said flipping through the pages where he had written down every arbitrary holiday it seemed he could find. You fought the urge to blush.

“I just think we shouldn’t be alone on those days, you know? And we do so well together with these kinds of things.” He tried to read your face but you offered him nothing in terms of a reaction. “What do you think? Do you want to be my girlfriend, a couple more times?”

You looked up at him surprised. All you could manage was a smile. You were speechless.

“What?” He asked from the edge of his seat.

“You didn’t say fake.”

“Because I don’t want you to be my fake girlfriend. I want you to be my actual girlfriend.”

Leaning forward, you kissed him. About halfway through you realized it was your first kiss so you dropped the calendar on the ground and wrapped your arms around him wanting it to last. He slid his arms around you and pulled you to the couch with him.

“Is that a yes?” He asked breathlessly a few minutes later after you pulled away.

“Just a couple more times.” You grinned, “but you’re really gonna owe me one.”

[tinyhwng]

found you

pt 2 of secret relationship with professor!changbin

request? yes (anon)

pairing: changbin x reader

t/w: none?

genre: fluff 

word count: 2,386

a/n: im so used to writing angst for changbin that immediately forgot how to think while planning for this lmao. regardless, i hope u enjoy! 

summary: was it all just coincidence that brought you two together or was fate playing a part in fixing what you left behind?

The dark cold winter night swallowed Changbin’s apartment. He was still adjusting to everything after fully moving out of his ex-fiance’s home. It was a big change for him, though it wasn’t terrible. He never wanted the engagement in the first place but was forced due to the circumstances that had to come in between. Nothing really triggered his will to leave until he realized that after all this time, he was still longing for your return. 

Almost three years have passed since then. Since the day you received the message that you had to leave him alone. He soon found out about Lia guilt-tripping you to leaving him which immediately caused the downfall of his relationship with the girl. He tried to love her, he really did, but it just wasn’t the same.

He missed you. So much. 

You had finished school after majoring in business at a university in another city. It felt like the longest three years of your life. You strayed from making deep friendships and usually just minded your own business. You rarely had to worry about working due to the “consolation” fee your past university provided you for having to “move” you. You know that three years should’ve been enough to move on for anyone but memories still linger which made it difficult for you to do so. You weren’t planning on returning to see him, you just wanted to see home again.

You return back to your old apartment three years ago. Everything struck you as you entered. The same old smell, the same old view, and everything else. It felt like three years ago again, well, the good days of three years ago. You unpack and made your way to the cafe nearby to snack on anything.

Changbin was carried away in his music as he answered emails on his laptop. He took a sip from his coffee when his eyes landed on the door. He squints, blinks and pinches himself as he watched you enter the cafe. He didn’t know whether this was a dream or not but he was too starstruck to do anything.

You had not noticed the pair of eyes that had watched you since you entered. You took a seat after ordering and scrolled through your phone, Soon enough, you felt as if someone was watching you. Your eyes scanned the room, eyes landing on the boy in the corner of the room. It’s him. Shit.

You immediately got up, making your way out of the door. 

Changbin quickly collected his stuff and stuffed it inside his backpack. He made his way out, looking for where you could’ve had gone. He spots you, speedily walking away. He made his way towards you, sprinting as fast as he could. He couldn’t lose you again. 

“Found you.” he was out of breath when he appeared in front of you. He struck a smile before you made your way around him. “Y/N, please. Are you still ignoring me?”

“We don’t have any reason to talk.” You responded, not halting.

He tries to stop you once more. “You left. Just like that.”

You didn’t want to but your steps grew slower. You lowered your head, not knowing how to comprehend what was happening.

“Y/N, you don’t have to explain. I know why you did that.”

You gulped at his statement, finding your pace back as you made your way back to your apartment. He stopped following you, just looking as you disappear into the distance.

You entered your cold apartment, gasping for air as you practically sprinted on your way back. You were twenty-four, you felt childish but you couldn’t help it. The anxiety that very night returned as you saw him again. 

The feelings too. 

A few hours passed after the unexpected meeting. You step out your balcony to get some fresh air, admiring the gleaming city beneath you. It wasn’t warm nor was it cold. It felt just right. Your mind slowly felt at ease as you hummed with the soft wind breezing past you. It didn’t feel like the day should have been this good but somehow, it felt calm. You felt... content. 

You spoke too soon.

You heard the door open from your next-door neighbour. You weren’t sure if your past neighbours had stayed so you took a peek and then completely regret it. 

“C-Changbin?” You froze as you faced his balcony.

“Y/N...”

“You live here??” 

“Look y/n, I didn’t know. I swear. This was the only place that allowed me to move in sooner. I-I’m sorry.”

“I thought you lived with your fiance?” You question him, curious of all the sudden coincidences. 

He wanted to answer your question but the fact that you were aware of what had been happening in his life almost comforted him. It gave him hope that maybe, you didn’t completely forget about him. 

“Ex-fiance actually.” He explained. “It’s a long story.”

“Are you sure you’re not just hiding?” You were still cautious cause despite everything, his fiance was the reason you had live a completely different life than what you wanted. 

“No- I officially ended it.”

“But why?” Questions kept pushing themselves out of your mouth. Your head filled with thoughts about the other boy. “What about your job?”

“I resigned.” He sighed while emitting a small smile.

“Resigned? So you’re jobless now?” 

“Not exactly. I’ve been producing some music for people here and there.”

You had no reason to ask him all of these questions after everything that’s happened. Three years should have been enough but for you, not a single thing changed. You still cared.

“Look I know we parted ways abruptly. We don’t have to talk about it but I’d love to catch up with you.” He asked, almost desperate for an answer. “I just miss you, that’s all.”

I just miss you, his words echoed in your head. You left him, without any word yet his words sound like you had never done anything wrong. A rush of guilt crawled through you, whispering all the reasons why you don’t deserve him.

“Like I said, I don’t care what happened before. I know you had your reasons.” He saw the concerned frown on your face. He wanted to reassure you he was okay with anything. He really just wanted to see you again.

“Okay.” You responded, soft but enough to be heard. “Would you like to come over?”

Your sudden suggestion startled the boy. “N-Now?”

“I have a feeling my mind might change tomorrow. It would be unfortunate then wouldn’t it?”

He gulped. “Okay. I’ll be over.” A few moments and he was gone, following the knock on your front door. 

You open, letting him in. You saw him glance around a few unopened boxes around the room. “It’s almost finished.” You explained. 

“Would you like some help?” He offered, “assembling couches and beds might take more than those arms of yours.”

You glance at your arms, retracting them back to your chest. “What about my arms?”

“No- I just meant it’ll be better with more hands around here.” His apologetic tone could be heard, not meaning to offend you. “ Your hands are completely fine.”

He loved this. Talking to you again brings back all the memories and feelings he’s longed for so long. Although you both were still adjusting, he hoped that even if you don’t return to how it was before, he’ll at least hope you’d let him enter your life as a friend. 

 I’m still in love, you thought, It never disappeared, not even for a single second. It was seeing him again that made you consider it again. With different circumstances today, will it give the two of you the chance to love again?

“Have you bought food already?” He noticed the lack of goods in your kitchen, worried that you weren’t eating enough.

You walk over to your fridge, opening it to show him. “No, but I have alcohol.” You chuckled.

“Wow, so you’re alcoholic now.”

You grab one for yourself, “suit yourself.”

You both spend some hours on your living room floor watching some Netflix while catching up on what you’ve both been doing. 

“How long have you been producing?” You asked, opening the third can of beer you have for tonight.

“A few months. Right after I moved out I guess.”

You turn to him, a curious expression on your face. “Since I have time now, what happened to you and your fiance?” 

“Oh, that? Well, it was never an engagement I wanted to be in so from the start I never really intrigued the idea that I actually have to marry her so maybe that created the rift between the two of us. I tried still but it just never worked out. I guess it became even worse when I found out something she did back when I was still teaching.”

“What was it?”

“How she bribed the university to move you.”

“How did you find out?”

“The emails and her father.” He explained, sighing at the situation. “So from then on, I never saw her as anything else. I stayed for business purposes, for her father since he’s done so much for me.”

“I see.” You nod as you took more sips. “So you just left then?”

“I guess I realized I didn’t wanna live my life being controlled you know? I resigned, broke off the engagement and here I am now.” he chuckled nervously. 

“But what made you realize that you wanted to leave?”

“I realize I was still in love with someone else.” 

You choked at your drink, almost spitting it out. You froze where you sat, refusing to look at the boy.

“Y/N, calm down.” He laughed. “I’m not forcing you into anything.” He reaches for the tissues behind him, offering them to you. “Here.”

The night fell and soon you did too. You failed to control your alcohol intake and soon your head felt drowsy. You felt the tug of the other boy.

“Y/N, you’re drunk.” He took the can from your hand. He leaves for a moment and grabs a few blankets from your room to the living room. “I think it’s time for you to rest.” He adjusts you so you could sleep comfortably. 

Although you were drunk, the only sober part of your brain wanted to beg the boy to stay. So you did.

“Can you stay the night?” You murmured. 

He wanted to but he thought it was your drunk self that was talking. From his perspective, he didn’t know if you really wanted him to stay or not.

“Please,” you begged, “just for tonight.”

He hesitated before finally nodding. “D-Do you have more blankets somewhere in these boxes.”

You shook your head, your eyes shutting. You lazily unfold the excess blanket beside you. “Share.” You whispered.

“W-What, no? Are you sure?” 

You nodded, pulling him down. “I’m sure.” At this point, all you could say were mumble of words but you tried your best so he could at least understand a little bit of what you were saying.

You squish his face, smiling before letting it go. “I-I can’t believe,” you giggled, “after all these years, you’re still the same.”

The boy was visibly confused, not knowing what to do with himself in the situation. 

“and after all these years, the feelings never disappeared.”

“Y/N, w-what are you saying?”

“Seo Changbin,” you giggled once more, “I like that name, I-I don’t know if I ever told you that but I like your name.” You advance your face towards his, smiling before placing a peck on his cheeks. 

Flustered. That’s all he was. He lost track of who he was for a moment. A rush of excitement ran through him. He wanted to savor this moment, knowing you’ll probably forget this once you wake up. 

“Bin,” you sighed, “I’m sorry I left you.” You were still very much drunk, you barely had any control over your emotions. “I never wanted to leave you.” You sobbed.

“Hey, no need to cry. I understand, don’t worry.” He reaches for your face, wiping the tears that had fallen out of your eyes. 

You shift yourself, moving towards the boy. You snuggle right into his chest, feeling his heartbeat get a little faster every second. “Bin, can I tell you something?”

You felt him nod, “mhm.”

“Is it okay if I tell you I still love you?” You mumbled. 

There was a sudden silence between the two of you. The boy was not expecting that question and now he’s too flustered to think. For him, you were drunk and although that made him sad, he still liked seeing you like this. It took him back to the old days.

“Of course it is, regardless that if you’d forget this conversation or not, I’ll be okay with that anytime.” He embraced you before he felt your weight shift. You were sound asleep, and he had planned to leave a few hours before you’d wake up.

Morning came and your head felt heavy. You admit you were drunk but you were definitely aware of the things that had happened before you fell asleep. Changbin was nowhere to be found so you fix yourself before heading over to his place.

You knock, “Changbin, it’s me.”

He slowly opens the door, only enough for you to see a part of his face. “Y/N, I swear nothing happened last night. I left right after you fell asleep.”

“God- I know what happened.”

“You were drunk. I figured you would’ve forgotten- wait how much do you remember?”

“Everything.” You sighed, “now let me in.”

He opens the door, slowly and cautiously, worried you were trying to trick him but instead, he got something else. You entered and immediately approached the boy, without any hesitation you locked your lips with his. Softly pinning him against the wall, you embraced him. 

You pause before getting ahead of yourself. “Can we start again, please?” Your eyes were full of hope as you stared right back at the boy. 

He places a soft kiss on your lips, sweeping your hair behind your ears. “I’d love to.”

You cast a smile, cupping his cheeks into your hands. You haven’t felt this happy in a while and you realized that maybe, this was all destined to happen. 

[madelvnisms]

(MILENA TSCHARNTKE, CIS FEMALE) - Have you seen MADELINE WOODROW? MADS is in HER SOPHOMORE year. The CREATIVE WRITING MAJOR is 21 years old & is a VIRGO. People say SHE is COURAGEOUS, WITTY, PESSIMISTIC and HOT-HEADED. Rumors say they’re a member of KINCAID SOCIETY. I heard from the gossip blog that SHE’S BEEN TRYING TO FIND HER BIRTH PARENTS WITHOUT HER ADOPTED FAMILY FINDING OUT. (COURTNEY. TWENTY-TWO. GMT+10. SHE/HER.)

tw: slight mention of drug use?? i just wanted to tag to be safe 

yall i literally love essy so much i’ll follow her to the end of the rp world :/// and thats on loyalty. PERIODT. but hi !!! hello !!! i am courtney and this is my dangerously pessimistic devil child whose life is just. i like to make tragic okay, because otherwise, where’s the fun in that??? I HOPE YA’LL LOVE HER AS MUCH AS I DO. also i haven’t rped in a hot minute so please bear with me tumblrs done a whole 360 on me and nothing is the SAME 

madeline woodrow didn’t actually have a name for the first??? three months of her life?? she was born on an unusually cold september night, to two incredibly young teen parents who just so happened to be addicted to illicit substances, her ‘mother’ abandoned her at the hospital with a weak immune system and pretty much fighting for her life. she was born with holes on the heart, resulting in surgery during the first week of her life. however, her ailments soon came right ( for now ) and madeline was adopted into a well-off, seemingly loving family; the Woodrow’s, who happened to have a young child already,,,, you guessed it,,, named.... darcy. eyyyyyy [ tik tok vc ] sibling check 

growing up into a family that valued achievements and success over, well... anything, really, madeline had always felt a little out of place. Her parents were well-off academics who took pride in their work, her older brother seemed to be a genius, whereas school work had never been madeline’s strong-suit. like, yeah, okay, she was smarter than the average person in class, but learning was never something she was interested in. books didn’t interest her like they did darcy and while she was passing all of her classes, there were no outstanding academic awards for barely trying. 

instead, madeline seemed to have a naturally affinity for sports. she loved the outdoors, she was the kid that was always picked to be team leader,,,, u know the kids who think they’re better than everyone on the field..... akskskskks that was HER. she may not have been as academically gifted as the rest of her family, but she would bet none of them could throw an object further than her, that was for sure. 

it was an accident, finding out she was adopted. Robert & Stephanie Woodrow had many quiet discussions over the years as to what would be best for Mads, they both felt she should know, but ig they were just scared??? bc they never??? really. mentioned it to her. buT MORE ON THAT SOON 

madeline loved tennis. it was her favourite sport, she was literally on track to go to the olympics at one point in her life, when disaster struck. she was in the middle of an intense game when randomly, mads passed out on the court and fell on her leg the wrong way. not only had her heart problems come crashing through the door; she now had to have another surgery on her leg along with months of rehabilitation. 

the kicker???? this was around the same time grandfather Woodrow had passed away, leaving the remaining kin to deal with his crippling debt. she was barely sixteen when this happened. well - technically grandfather Woodrow had left her mother, father and brother a huge amount of crippling debt, whereas madeline wasn’t even mentioned in the will. no inheritance to her name, especially no debt to her name - there was no mention of a madeline woodrow in his last will and testament at all. 

that was when madeline found out about her true origins; she was left in a hospital by her birth parents, she was born with holes in the heart and now, now she couldn’t even play tennis again. Ever. 

Madeline, once held on a high pedestal due to her athletic achievements, held on a high pedestal by being a Woodrow, had come tumbling down to reality. She didn’t know, and still doesn’t know who she really is to this day. 

Now that all her athletic careers are out the window - her leg never fully recovered and now on top of taking medications for her heart problems every day, she has a barely noticeable limp while she’s walking or jogging, madeline is majoring in creative writing. she needed a back up plan, and while this is nowhere near what she wanted to do with her life at all, not even close, she has to deal with the hand she’s been dealt. 

because of everything she’s been lowkey trying to find her birth parents without the Woodrow’s finding out bc she doesnt wanna break :// their hearts :// but she wants to KNOW WHO SHE IS 

PERSONALITY & HEADCANONS 

it doesn’t take a lot to get madeline to do anything. she’s down for an adventure (within reason bc she is !! not as healthy !! as she likes to think anymore), pretty easy to get along with. admittedly, her IQ is not as high as darcy’s (she’d never admit that, obV) but she’s witty and sharp with her tongue. because of everything she has been through, has a very warped sense of the world atm. 

won’t admit it but second guesses everything. she genuinely believes?? she’s not good enough??? for the life she’s been given, which is why she excelled in sports, but now that’s out the window too she’s kind of just... flailing. 

despite being a woodrow,,,, does noT have as big of a stick up her ass like the rest of them. but she’s still a woodrow, the stick is still there. sometimes. 

Madeline is used to the finer things in life, however has adjusted since their grandfather royally did a number on them. she wont admit it, but she misses how easy money had been to access. 

she carries !!! a walking stick in her bag sometimes in case her leg is just Extra Bad. she hates to use it. probably never will admit to needing to use it 

is on heart medication. does not stop her from doing Stupid Things 

will literally be like Darcy who??? to your face but as soon as someone say something about him, she will literally fight you. leg and heart problems and all this bitch will throw the fuck down for her brother, and that’s that. 

Acts like nothing is bothering her at all, when in fact.... everything bothers her 

bisexual queen 

love is love af 

is terribly afraid of ants. 

wanted connections !! 

ex best friends - i literally just imagine them being ���best friends’ because their parents were in the same affluent circle until the woodrow’s crushing debt, now they literally cannot stand each other. could be more in-depth. i love all the angst 

exes - could have ended great, or terribly. i just LOVE ANGST OK 

best friends - i imagine best friends from like ??? kids ??? family friends?? who have stuck by her always??? 

ANYTHING N EVERYTHING HMU 

[what-is-your-plan-today]

Stark Spangled Banner Ch4: Low Flying Stationery

Summary: Things are a little awkward between Katie and Steve after the near kiss and neither of them really know how to deal with it. And then Katie’s Ex shows up...

Pairing: Steve Rogers x O/C (eventually)

Warnings: Bad language (no smut, yet, but will be down the line) A bit of angst, flashbacks (in italics) ,a douchbag ex boyfriend and a sprinkling of fluff

May 2013

“Trouble sleeping?” a soft, female voice spoke, a touch of amusement in her tone. Her accent wasn’t local.

“I’ve slept for seventy years Ma’am.” he spoke as he continued to punch the bag. “I think I’ve had my fill”

“Then you should be out, seeing the world…” the voice said again, the clicking of heels indicating she was walking further into the gym.

“I went under, the world was at war, I wake up and they say we won. They didn’t say what we lost.”

“Yeah, well we’ve made some mistakes along the way.” she said simply “Some very recently…”

Steve woke up with a start. He hadn’t had that particular dream before, but it didn’t take a genius to work out why his mind had taken him back to that particular moment this time, perhaps the fact that this time he was the one who had made the big assed mistake the night before...

Glancing at his clock, he decided that 5:00 am wasn’t too early so he changed and headed out for a run, pounding his frustration out on the ground beneath his feet. Katie hadn’t responded to his messages, and he was so annoyed at himself for simply letting her walk out with no protest. He should have stopped her, gone after her, he realised that now. Instead he’d let her leave with the impression that their near kiss had been a mistake, when in fact, that couldn’t be further from the truth. It was official, he was the world’s biggest moron. He had to fix this, and he knew now that the only way to do that was to be honest. So, as he thundered round past the Lincoln Memorial for the 4th time he started to plan out exactly what he was going to say. By the time he got home an hour and a half later, and climbed into a scalding hot shower, he was feeling slightly more positive. 

He just hoped she’d hear him out.

***** After a night of tossing and turning, alternating between being angry at herself and pissed at Steve, Katie had also been up at a ridiculous time, but unlike Steve she had curled up on her sofa with a film, counting the minutes down until it was an acceptable time to call her brother.

“7 am?” Tony drawled as he answered “You wet the bed?”

“Fuck off” she shot back “No, just had a shitty end to yesterday and thought I’d call to hear a friendly voice. Beginning to wonder why I bothered.”

“Bad day?” Tony’s voice softened “Ok Kiddo, I’m all ears.”

“Nah don’t wanna talk about it.” Katie said, and she didn’t. There was NO WAY she was telling Tony about Steve and whatever the hell nearly went down. That was a whole shit storm she didn’t want landing at Steve’s feet. “I was just thinking I might come to Manhatten tomorrow, spend the weekend.”

“This is your home too you know.” Tony said “You don’t have to ask…although maybe ask J to check what you’re walking into as Pepper’s taken to wearing these really tight…”

“Ok too much information” she grimaced as Tony’s chuckle hit her ears “You’re nasty”

“I’m in love!” He said in a sing-song voice, making Katie roll her eyes.

“I never thought I’d see the day where you love someone more than yourself.” she joked back.

“Kiddo I’m offended at that.” Tony scoffed making her laugh. “I love lots of things more than myself.”

“Yeah, like what?”

“You, Pepper…” the line was silent for a few seconds before he finished “Nope, that’s it.”

Katie laughed “I’m honoured.”

“So you should be, it’s a very hard list to make.”

They talked for another half an hour about all sorts of crap, Katie simply happy to hear her brother’s voice as it had been weeks since she’s seen him, far too long in her opinion.

When she walked into work a bit later Clint and Natasha were already in the Tactical Ops office, eating a pastry each, both with a coffee in hand and she was touched, as always, to see one waiting on her desk for her. But not touched enough to let Barton get away with using her desk as a foot rest.

“Get your feet down…” Katie said, slapping at his legs.

“Rude…” he muttered, removing them and placing his feet on the floor “And I bought you coffee.”

“Which is both appreciated and needed.” she said, pecking him on the cheek. “Thank Hawkeye”

“You look like you aint slept all night.” Nat said, as Katie shrugged off her coat “Who is he?”

“I should be so lucky” Katie mumbled dropping into her chair. She didn’t tell them that the reason she hadn’t slept all night was thanks to a certain blue eyed super soldier, but not because he was in bed with her, more so because he wasn’t.

“Better take a nap this afternoon then.” Clint said “Want you on good form for the party.”

“What party?” Katie frowned.

“Rumlow’s 40th…”

She groaned, she had completely forgotten “That’s tonight?”

“Yeah.” Clint said, before he let out a snort as he looked over his shoulder at Nat “Now this is gonna be interesting.”

“What?” Katie frowned

“He’s referring to the fact I’ve been planning an outfit for a few days…” Nat said, examining her nails.

“Yeah and seeing you try and figure that out in a few hours Nova, is gonna be amazing…”

 “Not like I’m short of options, half the shit in my closet hasn’t seen the light of day in years.” she shrugged.

“You can always gift it to me…” Natasha quipped back

“Speaking of gifts, has anyone done a collection for Rumlow?” Clint said  “I mean it is his 40th party after all, we should probably get him something…”

 “Like what?” Nat asked.

“I dunno. What’s he into?” Clint pondered.

“I know what he’d like to get into.” Nat responded with a smirk “Stark’s pants…”

Clint let out a bark of a laugh as Steve walked through the door, expertly catching the pencil that Katie threw at the Archer.

“Beware low flying stationery…” he quipped as casually as he could, tossing the item onto the desk in front of Clint who leaned back in his chair, putting his feet back on the surface. Steve locked eyes with Katie for a second and he saw her take a deep, steadying breath before she looked over at Clint who responded to Steve’s joke.

“It wasn’t flying, it was thrown.” he smirked “Nova getting a little upset about Nat’s joke.”

“I wasn’t upset, it was just a shit joke.” Katie rolled her eyes

“But it’s true, that’s what’s so funny!” Clint snorted “Admit it, you know he’s after a bit…”

“Can we just change the subject, please?” she groaned, turning to the keyboard on her desk. She could feel Steve’s eyes burning into her and she tried to concentrate on the screen, ignoring him.

“You coming tonight Cap?” Clint asked

“Rumlow’s 40th?” Steve asked and Clint nodded

“Did everyone remember except me?” Katie looked round.

“Pretty much.” Nat nodded

Katie scowled.

“You’re a right ray of sunlight today.” Clint snorted at the expression on her face.

“I told you I’m tired.”

“Try going to bed and sleeping…” Nat quipped and this time it was a highlighter pen that flew across the room.

“Carry on and it will be a stapler.” Katie frowned. “I was alone, thank you. Unless you count my pillow, a pathetic rom-com and a hot chocolate…”

Steve looked down at his feet

“Oooh thrilling.” Clint said, and she glared at him as he laughed, holding his hands up.

“Anyway, Romanoff…” Steve deftly changed the subject “You ready for ops drill or…”

Nat groaned and pushed her chair back across the floor with a scrape. “Slave driver…catch you later Stark”

“Yeah see ya…” Katie said, turning to smile at her.

“I’m due on the range in 10 with the new recruits so…” Clint stood up and followed Nat before he stopped and turned back, glancing over his shoulder again before he spoke.

“Listen, don’t tell Widow I asked this but what’s the dress code for tonight? I better start sorting out what I’m wearing whilst I get chance…”

Katie smirked up at him, raising an eyebrow.

“You hypocrite! It’s smart casual and if you don’t want me to tell Nat, it’ll cost you a beer”

“A beer for your silence… why haven’t we done this trade before?”

“Fuck off!” she said, flicking him the finger as he disappeared out of the office leaving Steve and her alone.

 “Hey…” he said gently, testing the water “You alright?”

“Yeah” she said, turning to face him and he smiled, that fucking smile again. “Honestly I’m just tired.”

“You ran out on me.” he said, studying her face.

“You didn’t exactly stop me Steve.” she shot back and he sighed.

“I know.” he swallowed “But you could have messaged me back.”

“Sorry, I was just…” Katie ran her hand over her face “I don’t know what I was to be honest.”

“Listen.” he began, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand. “I wanted to say that I-”

“It’s fine.” she said, quickly “I get it, it was an emotional day and I guess we just got caught up in it. I was all over the place so I expect you were too.”

Something inside Steve died a little. She had felt sorry for him, that was the only reason they’d shared that moment.  He struggled to keep his face straight as he shrugged, looking down at his hands, all thoughts of his planned speech flying out of his head.

“We’re ok, right?” Katie looked at him, and he looked up, smile fixed on his face.

“Sure doll.” he said, hopping off the desk. “Listen, I need to…” he pointed to the door.

Katie nodded. “I have a tonne of stuff to do. I wanna get home in time for a nap”

He chuckled. “So I’ll err, see you tonight?” he asked.

“Yeah, see you there.”

He nodded and then he left. As soon as he was clear of the room Katie let out a groan as she banged her head on the desk.

****** 

A wave of sound, both music and the noise of chatter hit Steve’s ears the minute he opened the door. He spotted Nat and Clint leaned against the bar and after saying hi to Rumlow and anyone else who greeted him he made his way over to the other 2 avengers and smiled.

“Hey Cap” Clint said, clapping him on his shoulder. “Beer?”

“Thanks Barton.” he nodded and Clint ordered his drink. He glanced around the room, looking for that familiar shock of brunette.

“She’s not here yet.” Nat said, simply and he looked at her.

“Right.” he said simply, accepting the beer.

“Nice shirt” Clint said, and he glanced down.

“Very modern.” Nat said,

“Romanoff…” Steve rolled his eyes “You’re a pain in my ass…”

“She’s a pain in everyone’s ass.” Clint said and Nat simply quirked an eyebrow at him and Steve gave a small chuckle as he took a slug of his beer.

“It’s one of my more endearing qualities.” she quipped.

Clint opened his mouth to say something but stopped as his eyes fell on someone and he smiled. Steve followed his gaze to see Katie making her way over. He had to stop his mouth falling open, she looked amazing. Tight black jeans, heels and a red top that plunged down her cleavage and tightened in to her waist before flaring out slightly. Her make up looked different, it was still light but she’d done something to her eye lids, it was a gold colour that made her eyes stand out even more.

Clint dropped a kiss to her cheek when she reached his side.

“About time…” he smiled “We thought you had got lost.”

“Yeah, sorry I needed a nap.” she said, nodding to Natasha and Steve, who flashed her a small smile which she returned, thankfully.

“You want a drink?” Clint turned back to the bar waving at the tender.

“Yeah, I’ll have a gin thanks.”

“I like this…” Nat said, her hand toying with the hem of her top. “New?”

“No, I dug it out from the doldrums of my closet.” she smiled, thanking Clint for the drink as he handed it to her. “I told you, I forget what’s in there sometimes.”

“Must be hard being so rich you can afford that many clothes you forget what you have.” She said, and Katie flipped her off drawing a snort from the red head.

 “Table over there…” Clint spoke, nodding over to the right. “Shall we?”

The 4 of them made their way over and settled into a comfortable conversation as normal, but both Katie and Steve were ridiculously aware of one another. The smells of cologne and perfume, the feel of his shirt clad arm as it brushed against hers when he moved, her laugh which rang out over the table…

It was torture for them both.

After 4 rounds of drinks however, Katie had started to relax a little, dare she even say enjoy herself, so it was bound to be a matter of time before something else went catastrophically wrong.

“Who’s round is it?” Clint announced “I’m ready for some shots…”

“Mine, I think.” Katie said, looking round for a waiter when someone talking to Rumlow caught her attention. Tall, short dark hair, black jeans and a white shirt. To anyone else the back of that man could have been anyone. But to Katie, well, she knew instantly who it was.

And her good mood sank as fast as it had been rising.

“Oh you have got to be fucking kidding me…” she mumbled. Steve who had felt her tense next to him looked down at her as Natasha frowned.

“What?”

“Ward’s here…”

Clint’s hand slipped and he almost sent the remainder of his beer flying as he scanned the room, his eyes narrowing.

“Ward as in, your ex Ward?” Steve asked, feeling the heat rise in his neck. She nodded. Across the table Clint was grinding his teeth.

Katie watched the back of her ex’s head, and then he turned to look around the room and their eyes locked. His mouth fell open slightly before he composed himself, and turned back to talk to Rumlow, running his hand through his hair, the way he always did when he was trying to act cool.

Katie snorted and turned back to the table.

“Want me to go punch him?” Clint asked, leaning over towards her. Steve found himself thinking that was a great idea.

Katie shook her head “Just ignore him. I am.”

After 3 further gin and tonics and 2 tequilas had worked their way through her system she found herself needing to pee. She excused herself and headed out to the bathrooms. Once she was gone, Clint shook his head.

“I cannot believe that fucking prick showed up.” Clint said, waving the waiter over “Damned it I hate him.”

“I gathered.” Steve smirked as Clint ordered another round of drinks.

“I mean…what the fuck…why is he even here?”

“Clint, don’t you think you’re overreacting a little?” Nat soothed.

“You didn’t see her Nat, that night when she caught him...she was a mess.”

“So was his car.” Natasha grinned and Clint snorted.

“His car?” Steve asked.

“Yeah…” Clint gave a small laugh. “She smashed up the body work…and I left 4 arrows in his tyres.”

Steve felt a surge of affection the archer as he looked at him. “You’re quite protective of her.”

“She’s like a sister to me.” Clint shrugged “she’s a good kid.”

Steve sighed and then looked around. There was no sign of Katie, or Ward. Something seemed a little off, like things weren’t quite right…

 “I’m gonna go check if she’s ok.” he said, missing the glance that Natasha and Clint shared as he stood up.

As it happens, Katie wasn’t ok. Nothing about walking out of the bathroom and bumping, literally, into your cheating fucker ex was ever going to be ok.

 “Hi K.” Ward said, as his hands gently grabbed round her arms steadying her, his familiar smell washed over her senses. She pulled back immediately, shaking off his grip.

“Don’t call me that.”

He sighed “C’mon…”

“What do you want, Grant?”

“Hey, you bumped into me.” he chuckled. “You look amazing by the way.”

She snorted, and looked away.

“Look, you know, I hate how we left things…”

“We?” Katie’s eyes locked back onto his as she let out a sarcastic laugh. “The only thing I left was your apartment after finding you in bed with some blond bimbo.”

“The biggest mistake of my life.” Grant sighed, “I honestly mean that…”

“Is this the part where you say sorry for cheating on me and beg for my forgiveness?” Katie watched as the dark brown eyes that she had once found irresistible bore into hers and she felt the anger simmering again. She’d worked so long to get this man out of her system, but here he was, daring to try and worm his way back round her. The sheer audacity of it was making her want to scream.

“I am sorry.” He said. “I genuinely am…”

“You’re sorry you got caught. There’s a difference.”

“No, that’s not it.” Grant shook his head. “There hasn’t been a single day where I haven’t thought about you and how I fucked up.”

He ran his hand through his hair and Katie shook her head.

“Let’s be honest, she wasn’t the first was she?” she looked up at him. Grant dropped his head and that was all the confirmation she needed. “Our relationship…it was a car crash.”

“I loved you.”

Seriously? He was trying that one? She looked at him, and then burst out laughing. “Oh Jesus…” She shook her head in disbelief and made to walk round him but he grabbed her arm.

“What’s so funny?”

“Let go of me.”

“I asked you a question…”

“And she asked you to let her go.” a familiar voice said and Katie looked up to see Steve stood in the corridor, hands on his belt buckle as the door to the main bar area swung shut behind him, causing the loud background noise to fade slightly. “She won’t be asking again.”

“Sorry…I…” Ward, let go of her arm as he composed himself.  “Captain Rogers. We haven’t been formally introduced. I’m-“

“I know who you are, Agent Ward” Steve said, without taking his hand, and he saw Ward’s jaw twitch, as his hand dropped back to his side.

“I see. ” Ward said, raising an eyebrow, looking from Katie, to Steve and he took a deep breath and nodded. “It was good to see you again, I meant what I said. I really am sorry.”

Katie didn’t reply, simply watched him leave as he brushed past Steve who moved to the side to let him pass, but only after shooting him one last contemptuous look before he turned back to Katie.

“Are you ok? Did he hurt you?” Steve frowned, stepping forward.

“Hurt me?” she frowned.

“Yeah, your arm?”

“Oh, no.” she said, shaking her head. “That was just weird.”

“Weird?” he frowned.

“Yeah, I mean, well for so long I thought about what I’d say to him when I eventually did see him again, you know, how much he hurt me, broke my heart but when I got the opportunity there, I realised I actually don’t give a shit anymore.”

Steve smiled “Good, I’m glad he didn’t upset you. You err, you wanna go back in?”

“Do you think anyone would notice if I left?” she shrugged “I don’t wanna be here. There’s a bottle of wine and a huge tub of ice cream at home with my name on it”

“Enough ice cream for 2?” Steve asked, looking at her, hoping to God she didn’t refuse. Not least because he wanted to spend time with her, but he wanted to make sure she really was ok.

Katie smiled, nodding, the fact that he cared so much didn’t pass her by. They were best friends after all. He grinned back, offering her his arm which she took as they made their way to the taxi rank.

*********

“I don’t know why you wear shoes so high if you can’t walk in them?” Steve said as Katie let out a groan, kicking them off as soon as they stepped out of the elevator.

“Because they look good and I’ve got my Super Soldier BFL to carry me when they hurt.” she teased, patting his arm. “Just gonna get changed, won’t be long.”

Whilst she was in the bedroom Steve grabbed a beer and poured her a glass of wine before carrying them over to the table. He had to stop himself from staring when she emerged all long legs and thigh tattoo, in a pair of denim shorts and a hoody. She dropped onto the sofa besides him, taking her wine and gulping down a large mouthful.

“You sure you’re ok?” he asked, looking at her.

“I’m fine, honestly.” she said.

“You know, before, when I saw him with his hands on you…” Steve sighed, shaking his head. “I really wanted to kill him.”

Katie smiled as she looked at him.

“You’ll have to get behind Tony. And Clint too for that matter.” She said, snorting “The Let’s Fuck Up Grant Ward list is pretty long.”

Steve looked down at his beer, before he took a deep breath.

“Well the guy is a dick.” he said, tilting side on so his arm was over the back of the sofa behind her. “If you were my girl I wouldn’t be looking twice at anyone else.”

She smiled “That’s because you’re a gentleman.”

“No.” he said, his blue eyes locking onto hers “It’s because you’re worth so much more than that.”

“Whatever Rogers” she said, rolling her eyes and biting back what she really wanted to say- why didn’t you come after me last night then?

Steve pressed his lips together in a firm line of frustration, and he looked down again before he looked back up at her. “Don’t…”

“What?”

“Do that.“

“Do what?”

“Put yourself down. You do it all the time” he sighed.

“I don’t.” she said, looking away.

“Yes, you do.” he said, shifting slightly, so that he was closer to her. “You think so little of yourself but you shouldn’t. You’re the most amazing woman I’ve ever met” he said, taking a deep breath, the hand that wasn’t draped around the back of the sofa tangled in hers. As she raised her eyes to look at him he was aware she looking at him the same way she had done yesterday, and once again the blood was pounding in his ears, his heart beating so rapidly he thought it might burst through his chest.

He knew then he had to make her understand, just how deep his feeling went. His hand gently moved from the sofa back to the side of her jaw where he simply cupped her face and she closed her eyes, leaning into his touch. She opened her eyes in time to see his gaze flicker to her mouth, before he leaned forward, a movement that was slow and seemed to take forever, until his lips met hers in a soft, sweet kiss that set every single nerve in her body on edge.  The entire world around them faded to nothing and they both relaxed as the kiss deepened slightly, his hand tangling into her hair as he slid his tongue gently across her bottom lip. She obliged, opening her mouth slightly as the hand that wasn’t in his gently reached around, landing on the back of his neck, fingers softly running along his hair line. Eventually they broke away and Steve gently slid his nose along hers unable to keep the smile off his face as their foreheads rest together.

“Where did you learn to kiss like that, Captain Badass?” she whispered and he gave a chuckle.

“To be honest with you…” he said, sitting up slightly, his right hand returning to where it had been before, resting on the back of the sofa “I don’t think I have until now.”

She grinned and tucked her hair behind her ear with a hand that was trembling from nerves, adrenaline and absolute pleasure at being kissed by the utter God of a man sat on her sofa.

“So err…” Steve said, licking his lips “I know this might be a little late, so to speak you out but I’d really like to take you out, you know, on a date?”

Was he kidding? As far as Katie was concerned he could take her anywhere he fucking wanted. She suddenly became aware she was chewing on her lip and hastily stopped, feeling the heat in her cheeks as she looked at him and nodded “Yeah, I’d like that.”

That crooked grin she knew and had come to love spread across his face.

“You free tomorrow?” he asked before hastily correcting himself “It’s Saturday, or is that too soon? We could always go next weekend instead if you want or-”

“Steve…” she cut him off, gently squeezing her fingers round his “tomorrow is fine.”

“Great, tomorrow…that’s…great…” he trailed off as Katie held his gaze.

The air between them seemed to crackle and this time it was her that initiated the kiss. This one was slightly deeper, the fire in her belly was hotter and that naughty part of her would have loved nothing more than to throw her hands round his neck and pull him down on top of her. But Steve Rogers was nothing if not a gentleman, and she didn’t want to rush into anything. She’d waited too long for this to fuck it up by moving too fast. With that in mind she willed herself to pull away.

“So err, you wanna watch a film or…” she glanced at the TV.

“Yeah…” he smiled “Need another drink?”

She nodded and he hopped up off the sofa, taking her empty glass to top it up, frankly glad of the chance to cool down. He’d had to stop himself then from pushing her down on the couch, but he knew that wouldn’t be the right thing to do. He wanted to do this properly, it was too special to risk.

Katie flicked through the android box, and with a grin found the perfect film, one that was a comedy, not romance or action, something easy.

“The Sandlot?” he asked as he handed her the filled glass, reading the title on the screen “It’s about baseball?”

“More about kids having adventures over summer but yeah, baseball features a lot. It’s funny, you’ll like it” 

“Sure I will.” he said, as he settled down next to her.

She pressed play on the film, threw the remote onto the coffee table and lifted Steve’s arm and slid into place beneath it, tucking herself in against his side, legs curled up beneath her. It was something she’d done so many times before but this time, well it felt different. Steve pressed a kiss to her head before turning his attention back to the film, his arm draped over her shoulders, fingers gently tracing shapes on her upper arm.

They sat in the dark living room, watching the film, not another word shared. They both laughed, Steve grimacing at the Chewing Tobacco scene where the kids all vomited off the side of a fairground ride, it reminded him far too vividly of the time he had barfed after riding the Cyclone, and at the end when it showed one of the kids playing for the LA Dodgers Steve was the first one to break the comfortable silence, letting out a little snort.

“I still don’t like the fact they aint in Brooklyn any more” he said, as the film finished.

“Really, you never mentioned it.” Katie said sarcastically, sitting up.

He rolled his eyes before he stretched. “I should be going.”

“Yeah, it is late.” Katie agreed, standing up as he did “And I got a big date tomorrow.”

“Yeah” he asked, as he walked to the door “Anyone I know?”

“Just some guy from work.” she teased “He’s pretty hot but don’t tell him I said so.”

He laughed.

“You’re a nightmare, you know that?” he smirked.

“Yeah but, you love it.” she said as the elevator arrived.

“Yeah, I do.” he said softly, dropping a gentle kiss to her lips. “Goodnight doll.”

“Night Stevie…”

He squeezed her hand and stepped into the elevator and as soon as the doors had closed, a huge shit eating grin spread across both their faces.  

Tags

@the-omni-princess​

[helenarasmussen87]

Writing Asks

This the post where I know no one is going to ask me anyway.

1. Describe your comfort zone—a typical you-fic.

Something that is like a “Oh hey, what happens if we do THIS!” and go from there. Usually ends up having loads of emotions, comfort, angst, introspection, loads of kitchen sink dialogues, not too much action. Families, happy endings.

2. Is there a trope you’ve yet to try your hand at, but really want to?

Fluffy stuff and humourous stuff. I am a little too serious for either one and my humour is drier than the desert and very odd. So no.

3. Is there a trope you wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole?

Teacher and Student relationships. Necrophilia, abuse of all sorts, underage. Just not my thing. I’ve gotten unable to stomach a lot of grimdark and super dark stuff as I get older so I won’t write it. But go ahead if that’s your thing.

4. How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Care to share one of them?

Two, since I can’t have more than two on the burner. Learned THAT early on and they’re Terror AU’s One is a fixit, but with health complications and angst. The other is a Modern Day AU which has two professors falling in love after one gets injured and the other worked as an EMT and helps to take care of him and they fall in love.

5. Share one of your strengths.

I can offer insights on what flows and what doesn’t. I can also happily shred my own drafts if they don’t work. 

6. Share one of your weaknesses.

Action. I work at it, but it’s not my favourite. Or war writing. 

7. Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

“Danny had to turn his head away to hide his smile, because he knew that it was a legitimate concern for Jose. Most of the time, he had jumped into bed with his partners first and then did the mating dance. 

Although extremely smart in other aspects, dating and social interactions were always a bit skewed, because he was always second-guessing himself and nervous as hell.

“That’s actually how things work out in these situations. At least it did for me and my ex and for me and Claude.” Danny explained calmly, making Jose nod and take another pull of his slurpee.

“So what do I do? Like is there a time when I bring up the possibility of us sleeping together?” Jose asked, the words slightly mumbled as he chewed on the straw.

“You don’t bring it up. You’ll just know when the time is right for it to happen. Sex isn’t what a relationship should be built on. Yes, it’s nice and it’s part of it, but it’s not the end all to be all. Trust me on this. It will happen if it’s meant to happen.” Danny explained, hoping that he had put it all in the plainest and simplest terms he could for his friend.

I am proud of this because it was majorly borrowing from life and I can see the difference from earlier writing. 

8. Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

“Sergio laughed shortly. “I’ve already done enough of that, and look at where it’s gotten you. Yeah, legally I hold claim over you. I could make the club buy out your contract and sit at home all day, having litter after litter.”

Iker’s blood froze at that and he turned to look at Sergio to see if he really meant it, but Sergio’s face gave nothing away.

“Or I could sign your rights to the club and let them sell you wherever or to whomever. Take you out of Spain, or sell you to Getafe or Malaga. All of these things I could do. The club actually did bring it up at that meeting you didn’t show up for.”

Iker blinked, his hands going numb as Sergio’s wickedly honed words hit home.

“I’m not telling you this to hurt you. Or make you feel indebted. I’m telling this to you because you’re this close to losing your spot and that’s the last thing I want for you. But there’s only so much I can do for you.”

He sighed and looked at Iker dead in the eyes.

“I miss him too, Iker. I miss Antonio every fucking day. And I miss you.”

Iker swallowed hard as Sergio abruptly turned and left, slamming the front door and freeing him from the command so suddenly that Iker fell onto the couch and curled up in it.

He had no energy to do anything else. Not when he was all too aware he’d fucked up and fucked up big and needed to fix it.

Borrowed from life again and it was more of a dialogue that needed to be had when you finally realize how much you fucked up and how much you need to stop coasting and make it right. 

9. Which fic has been the hardest to write?

ALL OF THEM! Kidding. I want to say the one I’m working on right now. I was lucky enough I got a ton of help fleshing it out. I can see the end of the 1st chapter and I am having a hell of a time writing Goodsir’s chunk. He’s turned out more emo and romantic than I was expecting. 

10. Which fic has been the easiest to write?

The QuiObi prompts for the prompt week. Took me like two hours to knock them off and post. 

11. Is writing your passion or just a fun hobby?

Its a passion and a hobby. It helped me through a lot of rough patches and keeps me sane. 

12. Is there an episode above all others that inspires you just a little bit more?

Mostly music or a change in life. I tend to write when everything is in flux with me.

13. What’s the best writing advice you’ve ever come across?

Just write. Worry about editing later. Once you have something on the paper, fixing it up becomes easier. 

14. What’s the worst writing advice you’ve ever come across?

Edit as you write. You don’t get anything done.

15. If you could choose one of your fics to be filmed, which would you choose?

Oooh. I think it’s a toss up between my Qui-Gon/Jango fic in a pastoral setting where they have put their pasts behind and are farmers on Concord Dawn. Or the Werewolf fic I wrote during my RPF phase.

16. If you only could write one pairing for the rest of your life, which pairing would it be?

Bloody hard. I would have to say Fitzier (Commander Fitzjames/Captain Crozier)

17. Do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order?

Depends. Sometimes I go straight from beginning to end and sometimes I end up writing the middle and not figuring it out until later.

18. Do you use any tools, like worksheets or outlines?

Outlines. I have notebooks I jot down point form notes about the characters and the plot.

18. Stephen King once said that his muse is a man who lives in the basement. Do you have a muse?

Mine is a librarian or an alchemist trying to figure out answers and how things fit in.

19. Describe your perfect writing conditions.

A good playlist. Alone, in my room.

20. How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting?

I revise it along the way when I sit down to write. Then before I post, I give it a once over to make sure it flows and makes sense. 

21. Choose a passage from one of your earlier fics and edit it into your current writing style. (Person sending the ask is free to make suggestions).

All my old fics are honestly gone so I’m skipping this one. 

22. If you were to revise one of your older fics from start to finish, which would it be and why?

Honestly? The Duo and Heero one I wrote about them being in an abusive relationship where they split up, then got back together again. I was again writing from life, and I have seen couples who did overcome it, but looking back, I think I should have written it that they separated and went their own ways. 

Keep in mind I was very young when I wrote this, and I was in an abusive relationship myself and didn’t realise it at the time. He hit me once, apologised and never did it again. But he did end up manipulating me, gaslighting me, and emotionally abusing me until I finally had enough and left. 

23. Have you ever deleted one of your published fics?

Yes. Loads of them due to me not wanting to finish them. Or the hosting sites going under. 

24. What do you look for in a beta?

Someone who is honest, someone who knows the way I write, and has suggestions to fix those said things. But someone who is themselves is the best. Because they know what they want. Same here. 

25. Do you beta yourself? If so, what kind of beta are you?

I do, simply due to lack of steady betas. Flow and story telling, but I also look for syntax and formatting as well as grammar. I will miss typos, so I run spell-check too. I mostly use a mental rubric. Teacher training.

26. How do you feel about collaborations?

I haven’t had a successful one due to the second person always deciding that they can’t follow through or up and disappearing. So I don’t do them.

27. Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much.

Oh my God! I read so much and so many different people that I can’t pinpoint three. I usually end up reading a fic or two, so I can’t say why I read the author.

28. If you could write the sequel (or prequel) to any fic out there not written by yourself, which would you choose?

I haven’t done that. I do admit to having inspired by fics. I wouldn’t ever presume to do that. It just feels like a snub.

29. Do you accept prompts?

Not really. I can’t tailor write stuff consistently. 

30. Do you take liberties with canon or are you very strict about your fic being canon compliant?

Oh always! I end up liking the characters that somehow never make it until the end. And in the Terror, unless you want to write angst all the time, you HAVE to ignore canon. And I mean BOTH the book and the show, since the book is nasty. The show is amazing, but oh my god is it depressing.

31. How do you feel about smut?

Yes damned please!

32. How do you feel about crack?

Depends on how well it’s done. Sometimes it is needed. Sometimes it’s like “Why?”

33. What are your thoughts on non-con and dub-con?

A bit tricky. I don’t mind non-con, but it has to be handled well. Dub-con, especially in A/B/O happens within context and it is usually dealt with. So I can tolerate that more than the first. Outright abuse, no.

34. Would you ever kill off a canon character?

Yes. Not often thought. But yes. I usually try and keep as many alive as I can though.

35. Which is your favorite site to post fic?

AO3, its a wild place and I love it for that reason.

36. Talk about your current wips.

It’s an AU where two professors that live in the same building and work in different faculties get thrown together and start to get to know each other. Due to circumstance, one gets injured and the other kind of volunteers to help take care of him, where they fall in love. The others in the vicinity do also. There’s Canadian shenanigans and baking. 

37. Talk about a review that made your day.

That they really liked how I wrote Frank Randall and would like to see more with his son, an OC I created for the story.

38. Do you ever get rude reviews and how do you deal with them?

I either delete, or give a generic reply and leave it. I’ve got stuff to do.

40. Write an alternative ending to [insert fic title] (or just the summary of one).

Nope. It just doesn’t work for me.

*somewhere I fucked up on the number but here you are*

Whoever wants to do this.

[the--sad--hatter]

Frozen Heart-5 (Bucky x Reader)

Frozen Heart Masterlist

FANDOM - MARVEL MCU, DEADPOOL & X-MEN

WARNINGS - ALL OF THEM, SMUT, VIOLENCE ANGST

DESCRIPTION -  

When Nick Fury finally catches the Ex-Shield Agent knowns Black Ice, The Thief with a Frozen Heart he puts her where she belongs. With The Avengers.

You’re not happy about that decision but you’re the only one who’s kicking up a fuss.

Natasha and Clint are happy to have you back in their lives, Sam Wilson is a big fan, Tony Stark just wants you to keep your hands off his stuff and Steve finds out that not only do you have a connection but you were there for him when nobody else was.

Bucky Barnes is one of the few people who doesn’t have a connection with you but he’d really really like one.

** Everything in Italics is being signed, not said out loud.**

Current Word Count -  21,589k       Ao3 Link

Chapter Five - A Memorable Frost 

“Again!” You insisted, shaking your body loose and taking a deep breath.

 “NO!” Clint yelled from behind the tree.

 “Please? Just one more.” You pleaded.

“You said that on the last arrow. And the one before that. And the one before that.” Clint shouted.

“I’m getting better though.” You whined.

 “You’re fucking not. You’re getting worse.” He grumbled, poking his head out from behind the tree to glare pointedly at the chunks of ice and freeze burned grass.

 “I froze the last arrow!” You said indignantly, putting your hands on your hips.

 “And half the lawn and two trees. The one before that got a cool breeze.” He grumbled, nocking another arrow anyway.

 You planted your feet firmly on the ground and raised your hands, readying yourself.

 “PULL!” You called.

 Clint let the arrow fly and you summoned the icy power that was a part of you, blasting it at the arrow sailing towards you. Nothing happened.

 “Ahhh!” You yelped, throwing yourself to the side to avoid it.

 “Useless!”

 “I hate you!” You signed at your brother from your ungraceful heap on the ground.

 He scoffed and put his bow down, regarding you thoughtfully.

 “Maybe it’s time you called for some help from the experts.” He suggested tentatively.

 “Are you joking? You know they still haven’t forgiven me!” You said in disbelief.

 “That’s not true, The Professor isn’t one to hold grudges.” Clint argued.

 “Because I’m going to go near the mind reading professor while I know what I know.” You scoffed.

 “Well there’s always…”  He started to suggest.

 “No! He still hates me anyway.” You said grumpily.

 “It’s been years, I’m sure he’s over it.” He tried to contend.

 “Not happening.” You asserted.

 “Suit yourself but I’m done. Me and my arrows have suffered enough.” He huffed, stomping away.

 You groaned and threw yourself back onto the grass, looking up at the sky.

 “Hi.” Bucky said softly, walking over slowly with an air that was part curiosity, part concern.

 You tilted your head to look up at him, watching as he cautiously made his way over to you, avoiding the larger ice chunks. There was a look of wonder and awe in his eyes, especially for the ice boulder than was twice the size of him. He was dressed for working out and you guessed he’d been running when he saw you and probably come over to make sure you hadn’t accidentally knocked yourself out with an Ice missile.

 “Hey.” You said, waving to him.

 His shadow blocked the sunlight as he stood over you, looking torn.

 “Do you need help getting up?” He offered.

 “Or, you could sit down.” You countered.

 There was a light thump as he took you up on the offer and settled onto the grass next to you.

 “You know… I have ice powers, and I was in the army.” You told him.

 “Yeah, I heard.” He smirked.

 “So…” You said.

 “So?” he asked, clearly lost as to where you were going with this.

 “One could argue that I am The Winter Soldier.” You explained, grinning.

 He let out a huff of laughter.

 “I’ll tell Hydra they infringed on your copyright.” He chuckled and you immediately sobered.

 He hadn’t picked the damn name, you knew that. What had possessed you to say something so insensitive you had no idea. Actually, you did know. It was your brain and it was an asshole.

 “I’m sorry. It’s bad enough I’m flaunting my freezy stuff around and then I go and say something like that. I don’t know why you even talk to me.” You groaned.

 “You’re pretty nice. At least when you aren’t talking anyway.” He said and you squawked indignantly.

 “No, the Ice doesn’t bother me that much though. My memories are intact, so I just try and think of good snow related memories.” He admitted.

 “You do?” You asked gently, leaving it open for him to divulge or change the subject.

 “Yeah. When I was a kid, I loved the snow, meant less school and more playing. As soon as the first flakes fell every year, I’d bundle Stevie up in every coat we owned, his, mine, his mother’s… I’d drag him outside to watch it fall. I loved the way it would settle on the ground you know. It was like watching the world become a blank canvass, the pavements and grass just slowly turning white until they were untouched. It was beautiful.” He said wistfully.

 You got lost in his voice, the bittersweet pain behind the memory.

 “Sounds amazing.” You whispered.

 “It was. Kind of like now….” He said, grinning at you like he knew something you didn’t and pushing you to a sitting position.

 Spreading outwards from you there was a radius of pure white snow blanketing the ground. Exactly as you’d been picturing in your mind.

 “I did it!” You breathed out in shock.

 “Yeah doll, you did.” He said gently, proudly.

 “I did it!” You exclaimed.

 And before you could think about it you launched yourself at him, throwing your arms around his neck and landing on his lap. His arms automatically caught you and he hesitated for barely a moment before wrapping them around your torso. You stilled as you realized what you’d just done and pulled back abruptly, blushing like mad.

 You’d just launched yourself at him… You’d be lucky if he didn’t file a sexual harassment claim.

 “I’m so sorry! I just got caught up in the excitement, I didn’t mean to offend you.” You said in a rush.

 He looked stricken and guilt twisted at your gut. Then his arm snaked around your waist and pulled you back in.

 “You did good Ice; you deserve a hug.” He quipped, enclosing you in the warm embrace.

 Your mind sat back and refused to interfere as your head rested itself on his shoulder and you wrapped your arms around him.

 “I… Thank you Bucky. Thank you.” You sighed happily, nuzzling into him.

 He was sure you were going to notice the erratic hammering of his heart in his chest and regretfully pulled away before he lost any more sense.

 “Well, you should probably get inside now that’s the weathers taken a turn.” He suggested nervously.

 “I have to tell Clint!” You said excitedly jumping to your feet and running off.

 You got a few meters before you turned, jogging backwards so you could smile at him.

 “Seriously, thank you.” You said again.

 “Anytime doll.”

 You raced back inside to gloat to your brother but along the way you were brought to a screeching halt by a text message.

 A very intriguing text message.

 ~~~~~Two Hours Later~~~~~

 You stepped out of your room, satisfied with your appearance and headed for the elevator when your phone buzzed again.

 Big (Brother) Bird: Where are you going?

 You read the text from Clint and scoffed, shoving the phone back in your pocket when it buzzed again.

 Big (Brother) Bird: Don’t ignore me you ‘lil shit.

 You looked around and backed up a few steps, looking at the ceiling.

 “I know you’re up there!” You called loudly.

 There was a banging noise and you jumped out of the way, barely avoiding being smacked in the head with the vent covering as Clint lithely dropped onto the floor in front of you.

 “Where are you going?” He asked again.

 “Out.” You informed him helpfully.

 “Where?” He pressed.

 “Church, can’t you tell from my outfit?” You sassed, gesturing at the little black dress.

 “Is that why you’re dressed like a sinner?” He said, giving the dress a dirty look.

 “I’m taking that as a compliment.” You decided.

 “You shouldn’t. Have you got a date?” He demanded.  

 “Ask me again after I get to the bar.” You said.

 “Let me guess, you’re going to the bar without your wallet?” He guessed.

 “See, I knew all those people who called you stupid were wrong.” You told him, smiling sweetly.

 “At least I’m not a slut.” He said childishly.  

 “Slut shaming is so last decade.” You told him.  

 “Your face is so last decade.” He retorted.

 “I’m leaving now, before you embarrass yourself any further.” You scoffed.

 ” Wait, just let me fix that stray hair.” He said and reached out, mussing your hair as much as he could before you rabbit punched him in the ribs and leaned away, spluttering.

 He cackled loudly and jumped back into the vents before you could stop him.

 “Jackass.” You muttered under your breath, stomping away and fixing your hair up as much as you could.

 You were still muttering obscenities when the elevator doors swooshed open and in your eagerness to escape you walked into something very hard.

 “Oooft.” You gasped, nearly landing on your ass due to the violent rebound.

 “Shit, doll, are you ok?”

 You looked up at the very concerned face of Bucky Barnes who had his arms outstretched like he was getting ready to catch you.

 “Is your entire chest made of metal as well?” You asked him, gesturing at his pecs.

 “No? Just the arm.” He said, going pink.

 “Bucky, you’re fucking solid!” You exclaimed.

 “I’m so sorry.” He said, like it was a problem.

 “Was not a complaint.” You assured.

 “What?” He asked and you realized what you’d just said.

 “What?” You asked in an embarrassed panic.

 “You just said…” He trailed off, frowning.

 “I have a concussion or something. Ignore me.” You blurted.

 “Are you sure you’re ok?” He checked.

 “Really, I’m fine. I swear.” You said.

 It was at this point Bucky seemed to notice what you were wearing, his eyes actually moving down your body so slowly that you started to blush.

 “You look nice.” He said.

 You were probably reading into things; it was more than likely nothing but… he sounded almost sad about the fact that you didn’t look like a mess.

 “Uh, thanks. I have stuff, a bar, meeting friends. That kinda thing.” You stammered.

 “Right. Well, have fun.” He said, stepping away to let you in the elevator.

 “Yes sir.” You said, immediately wanting to bash yourself on the head for it.

 You stepped into the elevator and just before the doors closed his hand snaked out to stop them.

 “Ice? You, well you look really pretty.” He said softly.

 “Thanks, you too.” You whispered.

 Would it be possible to bang your head on the elevator wall hard enough to knock yourself out? Nah, he’d probably try and stop you. Mercifully he didn’t point out your awkward faux pas and let the door close on you.

 When you were gone, he ran his fingers through his hair, sighing heavily. You didn’t have any friends; you were legally dead. And the dress… He knew the vision of you in that dress was going to haunt him for a long time, because he knew what you were wearing it for, he wasn’t stupid. He shouldn’t be jealous, shouldn’t feel so ill at the thought of what you were doing. You weren’t his to covet and he had decided to be your friend. But still, there was the awful voice in his head egging on his forbidden desires. Imagining you wearing something like that for him, him being the one to get you out of the dress.

 The thrilling mental image had two effects on his body, making him feel nauseous at the idea of sleeping with you because he wanted so much more than just your body but at the same time, the primal urge he had to rip the dress of and bury his cock deep inside you was making him uncomfortably hard.

 “Friends. Just friends.” He whispered to himself, shaking off the traitorous desire.

 Or trying to shake it off and failing miserably.

   You slipped a twenty from under your dress and paid the cab driver before you got out of the car, looking up at the large building you’d been dropped off at. Throwing your shoulders back and raising your chin, you walked into the lobby with confidence. It was slightly false confidence, but only slight. You weren’t that nervous about why you were here and what you were here for, it was remarkably simple actually. The elevator took you up and as soon as you stepped off, there he was.

 “I’ve gotta admit, even when you accepted my invitation, I didn’t think you’d actually show.”

 “You get stood up a lot hot stuff, got a complex about it?” You smirked.

 “Nobody stands me up, but not every woman is as mysterious and cold hearted as you.”

 “I’m not that mysterious. If you really want to know, you could ask. I don’t see a lot of talking in our future though.” You said coyly.

 “After I went to all that effort of ordering Chinese and turns out, you just want me for my body.” He pouted.

 “If I’ve offended you, maybe I should just leave.” You tutted, turning back towards the elevator.

 His arm circled your waist, pulling you back.

 “Not until I’ve gotten what you came for.” He whispered, his lips ghosting across your shoulder.

 It was obvious really; Johnny Storm was a notorious playboy and you were emotionally unavailable. That didn’t mean that you were a nun, you still had physical needs, and who could satisfy them better than the man of fire? You spun around in his hold and he didn’t hesitate to capture you in a scorching kiss. It was everything you had hoped for, hot and passionate and completely unemotional.

 You pushed your body into his, gasping in surprise when an image of beautiful grey blue eyes flitted through your mind.

 Your fingers grazed the back of his neck, brushing his hair and you frowned when your fingers itched to tug at longer, brunette locks.

 His hands ran across your body and you shivered, wondering what it would feel like to have metal caress you with skin.

 “Godfuckingdamnit.” You swore.

 You hadn’t had to work this hard to get a man out of your mind since… since Daniel.

 “Everything ok?” Johnny frowned.

 “No. I can’t do this.” You sighed, butting your head against his shoulder.

 “Whoever he is, he’s an idiot.” Johnny scoffed.

 “Pardon?”

 “Whoever you’re thinking about? You’re here with me, thinking about him instead of being with him. So, he’s an idiot for not grabbing hold of this opportunity.” He explained.

 “He’s not the idiot. He’s, well he’s not what I want. My brain just hasn’t got the memo.” You sighed.

 “Look, you’re clearly dealing with some issues. I don’t mind you working them out on me.” He said, raising his eyebrow to make it clear exactly what he meant.

 You were not going to sit around and pine for somebody. Anybody.

 “Good.” You said, pushing him backwards and sending him sprawling onto a chair.    

 He smirked as you hiked your dress over your thighs so you could straddle his waist and pulled him into another scorching kiss.

A/N - I painstakingly recreated all the notes I lost when my laptop broke so I could restart this baby... So Ice is back!I'm undecided as to whether I will actually write the Johnny Storm smut, I guess it's up to you. Other than that, what did you think of this chapter?

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