#i gotta throw out stuff from the fridge today we were just..too wiped and hopeful it wouldnt fully shut down

[bunnyboy-juice]

im so hungry but our fridge is broken and our kitchen smells weird (bc we still need to clean it out) and they havent told us when they're gonna come look and we need to go groceries but we cant get anything that isnt shelf stable for the foreseeable future and hnnnmghhhh

[aggedyann]

1 Cold 4 Stories part 1

Actually 1 Cold, 4 Stories, 2 Interludes and 2 Epilogues

Fluff featuring all my OCs

1 Cold, 4 Stories

1. Freddie

Freddie woke up feeling significantly worse than yesterday. He had found himself in the early stages of a cold yesterday and had spent all of Sunday in bed, hoping to head it off. That had done little good, it seemed. “HuhhhChuusshh.” A powerful sneeze jerked him forward, and he sat up, grabbing a tissue to catch the three that followed in. “Huhhchushh, uhhchishh, huhhchusshhmmphh.”

He looked over next to him, expecting to see Jamie there. Instead, there was a note on her pillow. ‘Hey, Sweety, reminder, I had to go into work early so I could leave early. Hope you’re not feeling too awful. Love you.”

He blew his nose again and got out of bed, ignoring the few seconds of dizziness when he stood up. He grabbed clothes and headed for the shower, hoping that and some DayQuil would clear out his congestion. He sneezed twice more while getting ready, then headed down to make breakfast.

He picked at a slice of toast, sneezed again, drank his orange juice and headed to work.

An hour later, he was in the office he shared with Tim, Ella and Sam, stashing a fresh box of Kleenex in his desk.

“Got a cold?” Tim asked, sympathetic look on his face.

“He always has a cold.” Ella pointed out, less sympathetically. She’d been brought down by his last one.

“It’s been at least a..a..a..uhhchusshh..a month.” Freddie protested, face buried in his sleeve. He kept his face there a moment. “Ugh...thought there were gonna be more.” He sniffed.

“Here.” Sam tossed him a bottle of hand sanitizer she’d pulled from her purse. “I swear I’m buying you some for Christmas.”

“Thanks.” Freddie caught it easily, blew his nose and used it. “Can we just get to work?” He coughed, reaching for his water.

The four of them started throwing topics around for the show that night and working on jokes, Freddie primarily contributing coughs and sneezes to everyone’s dismay.

Alex came in a few hours later to see what they were working on for him.

“Hey guys? Whatcha got?”

“Hey Alex” came from Tim and the two girls.

“UhhhChushh! Chushhh!” Came from Freddie.

“Don’t tell me you have another cold.” Alex groaned, noticing that everyone was sitting as far away from Freddie as they could.

“HuhhhChuushoo.” Was Freddie’s response, followed by several harsh wracking coughs.

Alex sighed, noticing no one moved their chairs to make room for him at the end of the table where he usually sat. Inwardly groaning, he dragged his chair over by Freddie, noticing Tim at least move closer to Ella.

The group tossed out the current events of the day for him to review and the jokes they had written about them, Freddie sneezing at increasingly more frequent intervals followed by harsher and more prolonged coughing.

At 1:00, the group left for rehearsal. Freddie got up slowly to follow them when Alex stopped him, grabbing his elbow. “Dude, you got 2 choices, you can go home or you can stay in here preparing jokes to replace the ones that don’t work. But you’re not going in there with everybody. I don’t give my guests colds as thank you gifts.”

Freddie nodded, coughing. “I’ll stay back here.”

“I’ll have someone run you notes every 15 and pick up what you have.”

Freddie stepped back from Alex and turned away. “Huhhchushh. Uhhchussh.” He grabbed a tissue off the table and blew his nose.

“Bless you. I’ll see you after rehearsal to go over jokes again.”

Freddie sat down at his desk and waited. His fellow writers rotated through, bringing him stuff to fine tune and picking up what he had already fine tuned for Alex to try. At 2:30, they came back to the room, catching him in the midst of a sneezing fit. “Uhhhchussh, Chushhh, huhhchusshhh, huhhhchusshoo, chusshhmmphh, huhhhchussmmphh, huhhhchuhrsshhooo.” He turned to grab a fresh tissue and found them also standing there. “Ub, hi.” He said, blowing his nose loudly a handful of times.

“Bless you.” Tim ventured. “You sure you’re ok?”

Alex nodded. “You don’t usually sneeze like that.”

“You didn’t hear half of it.” Freddie admitted, stuffily, rubbing his neck.

Alex gave him a firm, but gentle look. Freddie sighed. “Let’s review the monologue and topics. Then I’ll go home.”

He didn’t make it back to work that week.

Interlude

Freddie didn’t make it back to work that week, a gesture his colleagues appreciated, however they wondered exactly how sick he was. He wasn’t one to call out, and certainly not for 3 days.

Wednesday, Sam came in sick. She spent the day repeatedly sneezing, coughing, using hand sanitizer and wiping everything she touched down with bleach wipes. Alex finally sent her home at rehearsal when the scent of bleach started making him sneeze and gave him and Tim headaches, reminding her he needed to be in top form for the show.

She didn’t make it in on Thursday, leaving Tim and Ella to handle that night’s show. Tim was sneezing when Ella walked into the office. “He got you too?” Was her only comment.

“Too?” Tim blew his nose and turned to look at Ella who was paler than usual, red nosed and sniffling. “Well, at least he hasn’t gotten Alex yet.”

He had no further finished that statement when they heard Alex’s familiar “Huhchuh” from the doorway.

“I hope that’s just your allergies, for your sake.” Ella sniffled.

Alex shook his head, coughing. “I see he got you both,” taking in Ella’s appearance and the tissues in Tim’s hand. “Let’s get to work. I’m joining you two today.”

The three of them sat around the table, working between coughs and sneezes. Around noon, they realized none of them had cold medicine for that afternoon.

“I can send someone out to get some.” Alex said, looking at the pile of tissues by Ella and Tim wrapped in his coat.

“Hiichiew! Check Freddie’s desk. As much as he’s sick, he’s gotta have some in there.” Ella suggested.

Tim walked over to the desk and started checking drawers. Hitting the bottom drawer, he came up with a box of cold medicine and a bag of cough drops. “Jackpot,” he said congestedly. He held up a box of tissues. “How are these holding up?”

Alex looked at the remaining box on the desk - they’d had 3 partial boxes this morning. “Bring it.”

Tim carried the bounty over to the table and dropped it there, turning away from the table. “Hayahhshoo, hahhshoo! Ahhshoo! Heyyahhshhehh.” He sat down and blew his nose, taking a cough drop and a blister pack of cold medicine, then passing them on.

By grace, they made it through rehearsal, Alex sneezing minimally. He managed to make it through rehearsal, sneezing once on a commercial break. Tim and Ella didn’t do that well on the headsets, but they all got through it.

At the end of the day, Tim handed out Sam’s bleach wipes and told Alex to wipe down his office while he and Ella did the writer’s office.

They headed home, knowing how sick Freddie and Sam were, and what lie ahead for them.

Interlude 2

Freddie didn’t sleep well Monday night, despite the NyQuil. He kept waking up to sneeze and waking himself up coughing. At midnight, Jamie put her hand on his shoulder. “I’m sorry, Sweety. I need to go sleep in the guest room. I’m not getting any sleep in here.”

He nodded, blowing his nose. “Go.” He understood, and settled himself in for a long night.

Tuesday would be his true test. He woke up coughing so hard he could barely catch his breath. When he finally stopped, Jamie was standing there with a glass of water. “You are *not* going to work today.” She informed him. He protested weakly. “I already called Alex.”

He tried to glare at Jamie. “HuhhChusshh, uhhchushhh.” The effect was the ruined, and she smiled sympathetically.

She finished getting ready for work. “Just rest, ok. I want your butt here or on the couch, ok.” He nodded, trying not to sneeze again. “I’ll call and check on you.”

He couldn’t hold back the sneezes any longer. “Uhhchusshh, Huhh-huhhchushh, huhhruhhCHUSSHshehh.”

Jamie raised her eyebrows at the the violence of the last sneeze. “When can you take DayQuil?” She asked, picking up his phone and punching in his security code.

“Ted.” He sniffled, blowing his nose and wincing at how tender it was. She set the alarm on his phone, reminded him of the soup in the fridge, to stay hydrated, and left for work.

Freddie’s spent the morning in bed trying to sleep, but mostly tossing and turning, coughing and sneezing.

Jamie called at noon to check in him. “Hi.” He said breathlessly. “Ihhchussh, CHUSHHHooo.”

“Bless you. I’ll take that as an answer on how you’re doing.”

“Still sdeezig ad coughig dodstop.” He snuffled. “Hag od.” He set the phone down and she heard a wet, gurgling blow.

Lord was he stuffed up. “Gotten any rest?”

“A little. I was godda eat ludch dow.”

“Good. Need me to bring you anything when I leave work?”

He coughed roughly for a good 30 seconds, a persistent strong cough. “Cad you brig those tissues with the lotiod? By doze is really sore. OJ. Cough drops. I thik we’ll deed bore cold bedicide.”

She laughed. “So everything.”

“Yeah. Hehhruuhhchoo.”

“Bless you. I’ll see you tonight.”

Freddie managed a bit more sleep after lunch, but it wasn’t restful. His nose has decided to drip nonstop, saturating his pillow.

Jamie was home by 6. She handed him 2 bags of tissues. “Soothing lotion, cooling lotion, and Lotion with Vick’s. I wasn’t sure what would work best for you right now. 2 gallons of OJ in the fridge.” She handed him the cough drops. She held up the other bag. “Cold medicine. Daytime capsules, nighttime liquid and capsules.”

He looked at her gratefully, grabbing a tissue from the box on the coffee table. “HuhhCHUHMMPHH.” He tried to muffle the sneeze in the tissue, then tenderly wiped his nose.

“Chili in the crockpot, then back to bed.”

He nodded. The ate dinner; well, she ate, Freddie picked at his chili and sneezed, apologizing the whole meal. He hated sneezing at the table. Jamie just kept reminding him he couldn’t help it right now, that she did it plenty.

After dinner, she brought him upstairs, set his alarm for NyQuil, put eucalyptus and wintergreen oil in the essential oil burner on the humidifier to try to relieve his congestion, and tucked him in.

“I’m sleeping in the guest room again,” she told him. “I can’t catch this.” She brushed his hair back. “Love you. I hope you sleep.”

He did get slightly more sleep that night.

Wednesday was slightly better.

But Freddie spent the rest of the week in bed. He hadn’t been this sick in a long time. Thursday, he crashed and did nothing but sleep. Friday, he woke up, feeling somewhat human. Still a little tired, sneezing, and coughing, but human.

Which was good because that’s when the phone calls started.

[writingkeepsmewhole]

Old Friends

This is part 23 of A Team. Blows my mind there is this many parts to this haha.

Emily and Andy adjust to their life them going to town only to run into an old friend.

Andy Biersack x OC Emily

Warnings: Word or two maybe

Taglist let me know if you wanna be added: @panicatangelica @bvbarmy-jaci

Part 1  Part 22

I was standing in the kitchen the sound of the hockey game coming from the living room. Me and Andy were settled. Him inviting Joe and the band over to watch the game together.

"I gotta say this is something I never thought I'd see." Ashley says coming into the kitchen. It only separated by a half wall.

"What me barefoot and pregnant?" I ask getting the shredded cheese out of the fridge.

"No, Andy throwing a party."

"Oh yeah I love my little introvert."

"He can hear you." Andy says getting a smile from me.

"So I guess you did it." Ashley says taking the beer I hand him.

"Did what?" I ask putting the sour cream on the counter.

"You chained him down."

Laughing I roll my eyes.

"Well he was already with someone I just loved him. You'll settle down when you find someone."

"I like being wild. I don't think I'm ready to give that up."

"Oh Ash I would expect nothing less."

Dipping a bowl of chili I sat it on the tray with a drink and crackers.

"Food's done." I say bringing the tray to Andy.

"Thanks cupcake." He says not looking away from the TV.

"Your welcome batman." I say sitting next to him.

"You all feel free to serve yourself." I say to the everyone.

"Looks good." Andy says looking at me since it was a commercial.

Most women get mad that a man won't pay attention to them when a game is on but I never minded it.

Even more now. Andy has done so much for me I enjoyed seeing him happy.

Andy's hand sat on my knee as him and Joe talked.

I liked that we were finally able to relax. Who knew normal was a good thing.

I was cleaning up the kitchen Andy saying goodbye to Jake and CC them the last to leave. I was washing dishes when i felt arms wrap around me.  Andy kissing my neck his hands landing on my stomach.

"How's my girls doing?" He asks him kissing my shoulder.

"One is tired and the other is doing flips." I say moving Andy's hand to the side of my stomach.

Gently pushing his fingers down right where her foot kicked the side of my stomach.

"Feel it?"

"I did. I really felt it this time." He says spinning me around to face me.

A huge grin on his face.

"Make her do it again." He says placing his hands on my stomach.

Laughing I softly poke the underside of my stomach. Her kicking again.

"That's so amazing." he says making me grin.

"Does it hurt?"

"Sometimes but at the moment no." I say feeling her flip. Andy must have too his blue eyes growing to the size of saucers.

"That was her turning over." I explain.

"That's fucking amazing."

I nod smiling feeling my eyes water. "Hey what's wrong?" He asks gently holding my face.

"I’m just happy." I say shrugging feeling stupid for crying.

"Cupcake that's a good thing. Don't cry." He says wiping my cheeks.

"You've done so much for me and your here. I never thought I'd ever be here."

"I wouldn't have it any other way." He says kissing me his lips warm and familiar.

I close my eyes kissing him back holding onto his shirt. He wraps his arm around me it resting on my hip the other was still on my face. He kisses me softly as if he is gonna break me but I don't mind it.

I had to be tough my whole life with Andy I could be fragile and I loved it.

Pulling away from me he presses his forehead to mine. I close my eyes take a shaky breath.

"I love you, you know that right?" He says making me blush.

"I know. I love you too I'm just the broken one remember?"

"It's okay I'll put you back together."

Smiling I give him a quick peck then wipe my face.

"I need to finish cleaning up so we can go to the store." I say meeting his blue eyes with my green ones.

"I'll get the living room." He says kissing me again then leaving kisses all over my face making me laugh.

"Andy stop." I say giggling.

"Fine I'll be good." He says stopping.

"Thank you."

"Of course." He says pulling away from me and walking into the living room picking up the bowl of chips.

After we cleaned up we left the house getting into Andy's car. Normal we would just walk to the store and back but my feet was not having it.

We walked into the store my fingers tangled with Andy's.

"I have to potty." I say walking towards the bathroom.

"Meet me in the produce section?"

"Deal." I say letting go of his hand and going to the bathroom.

When I came back I walk to the produce section easily spotting Andy. It was hard to lose a 6ft tall tattooed guy.

He was talking to two teenagers both grinning from ear to ear.

"Honey did you make new friends?" I ask walking up to him.

"Oh my gosh your Emily!" The girl with the lip piercing says making me smile.

"That's me."  I say nodding my hand going to my stomach when the baby rolls. She was very active today.

"Not to be rude but are you pregnant?" The other girl asks. Vicky was her name i’m guessing by the necklace she's wearing.

"I am." I say looking at Andy hoping he won't get mad for me telling them.

"That's so cute! You two will make the cutest baby."

"Thank you." Andy says wrapping his arm around me his hand going into my back pocket.

"Well we will let you get back to shopping. Thanks for the picture." They say and walk off talking to each other.

"You made their day." I say smiling at him.

"Yeah but they seemed to like you too."

"Duh I'm awesome."

Smiling he kisses the top of my head us start looking for what we need.

We were putting stuff in the car talking about what to eat when I took a step back running into someone.

"I'm sorry" we both say looking at each other.

I didn't recognize the person her dirty and clearly homeless.

"Emily?" The woman said hugging me.

"Umm hi." I say patting her.

"Your alive." She says smiling at me.

"Ma'am you need to take a step back." Andy asks calmly.

"Hey I know you. You're that guy at the club." She says pointing at him.

"The club? Alexis is that you?" I ask her, her looking at me.

"Yes its me!"

"I thought you died." I say hugging her.

"What happened?"

"That crazy guy came to the house and started pouring gas everywhere. He thought I was asleep in my room I snuck out the window."

"What's going on?" Andy asks looking at me.

"Oh this Alexis my old roommate and best friend before you kidnapped me. Alexis this is Andy."

"Andy?  Thee Andy?" She asks looking at him.

"Yeah?" he says looking at me.

"I was kinda in love with you. She knew about it. I never stopped wearing your necklace." I say touching it.

"Wait did you say he kidnapped you?"

"Long story get in you are coming home with us."

"She is?" Andy says.

"Yes." I say like it's obvious.

When we get home with Alexis help we get all the food in. Stretching I peel my coat off hearing a gasp.

"Pregnant! Your pregnant!" she says pointing at my stomach.

"Oh yeah." I say blushing.

"I'll let you two talk. You gonna be okay?" Andy asks looking at me.

"I'm okay." I say nodding.

"Alright I'll be in the bedroom." He says kissing my cheek.

I move to the kitchen to start putting the food away.

“So what the hell happened that night? I went to the club after what Jack did and you were gone.”

“I was with him.” I say looking at her.

“He came and picked me up at the club and took me to a hotel room….” I say going over what happened that night.

“He hurt me pretty bad I got away from him and started running. I woke up in Andy’s hotel room.”

“How'd that happen.”

“You said he was at the club right?”

“Yeah.” She says nodding.

“They were staying at a hotel nearby. Don’t know why. Andy was on tour they had the bus but things happen. I got lucky.”

“So you and him have been together ever since?”

“No.” I say smiling.

“He was with someone. I say he kidnapped me because when I found out who he was and that he didn’t remember me I ran. I came back, and when I woke up I was on the bus. About had a heart attack in the small bunk though.” I say laughing.

“So he kidnapped you why?”

“I think he felt guilty. His life went one way and mine went another. I think he wanted to help me and he did.”

“Okay so how did this-.” She says gesturing to my stomach.

“Happen?”

“I was with them a month or so we all went out and got drunk. Andy took me back to the bus we had sex.”

“That’s it?”

“We got together a few days after.”

“What happened to the girlfriend?”

“She cheated. Was cheating. After what we did Andy went to go tell her and found her with someone else.”

“Damn.. That’s nuts.”

“That’s just half of it.”

“The other half?”

“I’ll tell you after you take a shower. Come on I got some clothes that will fit you.” I say walking up the steps.

“So you got everything you always wanted?”

“Yeah.. I guess I did.” I say stopping at the bathroom door.

“Go on in I’ll bring you some clothes.”

She nods and walks inside shutting the door.

I go to the bedroom Andy sitting on the floor papers surrounding him.

“Writing songs?” I ask stepping over a few to get to the dresser.

“Yeah.”

“Didn’t you just put out Wretched and Divine?”

“Yes but I got all these words in my head that I need to get out.”

“Write that down that was pretty good.”

“Funny.” He says looking up at me.

“Really I liked it.” I say bending down to kiss him. It just a quick peck.

I move over him again and head across the hall to the bathroom. Hearing the water running I open the door just a bit.

“Can I come in?”

“Yeah.” Alexis calls back.

I open the door and step inside shutting it back.

Setting the clothes on the sink I take a breath.

“How did you get here?” I ask her.

“To LA I mean.”

“After what happened I wanted to get as far away from that place as I could. I came looking for you when I saw on the news about Jack being killed I took that as a sigh to leave.”

“Jack’s dead? I was wondering if I killed him.”

“You did it?” She asks sounded shocked.

“I told you I got away. He was keeping me locked up.”

“Emily how much hardship are you gonna go threw in your life?”

“I hope I’m done for a long while.”

“Let’s talk about something else. How did you find out you were pregnant?”

“The hospital told me.”

“The hospital?” She asks poking her head out at me her hair covered in soap.

Sighing I drop my head.

“My dad found me.”

“Damn your life it like a TV drama.” She says going back in the shower.

“Yeah tell me about it.”

“What happened?”

“He saw a picture of me online I think and tracked me down. Kidnapped me tried to lock me up and make everything as messed up as it was when I was a teenager.”

“What did you do? How’d you get away?”

“I ran. Got hit by a car took back. I kicked him down the steps. Andy came with the police and found me. The doctor told me I was gonna have a baby.”

“Well at least something good came out of it.”

“That’s true.”

“Do you know what it is yet?” She asks turning the shower off.

I pick up a town and hand it to her threw the curtain.

“She’s a girl.”

“Aww cute! Name?” She asks hoping the curtain wrapped in the towel.

“Anily. It’s mine and Andy’s name put together.”

“That’s very twilight of you.”

“Hush!” I say waving my arm at her.

“Get out so I can get dressed.”

Laughing I step out of the bathroom Andy still in the floor.

“Write anything good yet?” I ask walking in and sitting across from him leaning on the bed.

“It’s kinda dark.”

“So?”

Clearing his throat he picked up the notepad in front of him and softly started to sing.

A lonely heart remains until we know the truth But if it stays the same, can we make it through? A life without the hurt, a life without you

“I like it.” I say smiling.

“Yeah but I don’t like that for the beginning of the song.”

“What’s the song about?”

“Changes. The changes in our lives. It’s about getting up and walking away. To move forward.”

“Then that’s how you started it. Started with How our lives have changed. Eww no I don’t like that. Now our lives have changed.”

“I can work with that.” He says smiling making me smile back.

“Is this what you two do all day?” Alexis asks drying her hair off looking much for like herself now.

“Not everyday. This is a lazy day.” I say standing up with the help of the bed.

“Wow your pregnant.” She says making me laugh.

“Yeah I am. We went over this.”

“I know but it’s just hard to believe. You never wanted kids and look at you.”

“I wanted kids I just wanted to love the father and to be able to raise the baby right.”

“Well you got that now right?”

“Right.” I say smiling down at Andy him smiling back.

“So what do we do now?”

“Now? Now we go make food.”

[amazingdanielhowell]

We Should Be Friends

Based on this song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0OZeqcX1VyQ

Tw: alcohol/drunk phan for one scene

The moment the bell rang, Dan pushed himself out of his desk chair and zigzagged around the hoards of students beginning to crowd the hallway. The sound of lockers opening and closing made him move faster, squeezing through any available space he could find to get to his locker. He had to get there so he could ‘accidently bump into’ the new kid again. Despite school being in session for a handful of weeks now, Dan had only met the boy yesterday when he got to his locker and dropped a stack of papers he was holding. While most people pretended not to see so they wouldn’t have to help, the new kid bent down on his knees and helped Dan gather his notes.

“Oh, you don’t have to—,” Dan began, bringing his head up and meeting the most beautiful colored eyes he’d ever seen.

“No worries, it’s not a problem,” New Guy replied pushing himself off the floor. “Cool locker.”

Dan turned and looked at his locker door where he had hung a MCR poster he got from a magazine and the little white board his mum insisted he put on his locker so friends could leave notes which was as clean as the day she bought it.

“Yeah?” Dan replied, though it sounded more like a question.

“Yeah.”

New Guy smiled at Dan one more time before heading down the hallway. He didn’t mean to, but Dan watched New Guy, noticing that his locker wasn’t too far from his, but far enough that it would be weird for him to go down that way when the front entrance was in the opposite direction. Dan knew the only casual way he could talk to the him again would be to get to his locker before Hazel Valley’s newest student walked past. Nearly out of breath, Dan arrived at his locker and opened it, pretending to look busy while taking quick glances through a sea of students for a head of black hair.

“Hey!” Dan said too excitedly upon finding who he was looking for.

“Oh, hi,” the boy giggled.

“I—um, remember yesterday when my papers fell? I don’t think I said thank you,” Dan forced out trying his best to act natural. “So, thanks. For that.”

“You’re welcome,” the new kid smiled making Dan’s heart skip a beat. “I don’t think I introduced myself yesterday. I’m Phil.”

“I’m Dan,” he paused for a moment. “How are you liking HV?”

“It’s definitely bigger than my old school, but I’m getting used to it. I’m having more trouble figuring out what people do over the weekends here,” Phil admitted with a small laugh. “My parents keep pushing me to go out and do something but I have no idea where anything is.”

“I usually just stay at home and play video games, but every once in a while, someone will throw a party with insane amounts of alcohol which is always fun. I’m terrible to drink with in public though,” Dan laughed recalling a moment from the party right before school began where he woke up snuggling with a bottle of Malibu Rum in the middle of the host’s backyard.

“Well that’s definitely something I won’t be telling my parents I’ll be doing. If I ever get invited to a party I mean. Being the new kid in secondary school really sucks. Everyone already has their group of friends and aren’t really looking to make new ones.”

“I definitely can relate. Most of my friends from primary school didn’t come here so I had to figure something out. I know some people that are pretty great, but I kind of consider them acquaintances.”

“I wish making friends now was as easy as it was back in pre-school. You just tell a total stranger that they’re your friend and that’s it,” Phil half smiled. “Anyways, it was really nice talking to you, Dan. I hope I see you around.”

Dan smiled feeling his stomach churn. He found that talking to Phil was easy, so why can’t it be like pre-school? He knew he had to say something, but couldn’t find the right words, so instead he said, “I hope so too,” and watched Phil walk away towards his own locker.

Dan threw some books in his bag and threw it over his shoulder getting ready to leave when an idea popped into his head. He grabbed a pen from his pocket, sucked in a deep breath, and walked halfway down the hall to Phil’s locker before his brain could talk him out of it.

“Let’s make it like pre-school. I don’t know you, but I would love to meet you. I think that we should be friends,” Dan said quickly, grabbing Phil’s hand and scribbled his cell phone number on his skin.

Phil looked from his hand to Dan, his face breaking into a huge smile.

***

It had been a few months since that day; snow had fallen and covered the grass in a thick blanket of white only to be trampled by hundreds of boots from students running out, excited to begin winter break. People threw snow balls at each other as they exited the building while others looked absolutely miserable bundled up in layers of coats, hats, and scarves.

“Want to come over?” Phil asked Dan as they walked out of school together.

“Sure, just let me drop my stuff off at home.”

Since that first day, both boys had walked with each other to and from school after finding out Phil only lived a few blocks away from Dan. While they didn’t share classes, they made up for lost time during the day on their walks home which usually turned into Phil coming inside Dan’s house ‘just for a drink of water’ but somehow ended up in hours spent playing video games.

“Oh, mum and dad are leaving today to pick up my brother from uni so they won’t be back until Sunday. She demanded that I get proof from your mum that it’s okay you’re over without parental supervision,” Phil giggled, his cheeks turning red. “She’s weird about leaving her baby home alone for a few days so if you want to spend a couple nights, she would love you forever.”

Dan laughed knowing his mum wouldn’t mind him staying at Phil’s at all. In fact, all he would have to do is tell her he’d be spending a few nights there and call once or twice to let her know he’s still alive and she would be okay with that. Still, Dan promised to get it in writing for Mrs. Lester so that would be one less thing she would have to worry about.

After dropping his things off, getting his mum’s note, and packing an overnight bag, Dan and Phil made their way back to Phil’s house. Phil rang his mum and read Mrs. Howell’s note of approval and promised to stay out of trouble until they came back.

“Mum says thanks for spending the night with me,” Phil reported after hanging up the phone. “I swear, she treats me like I’m 6 sometimes.”

“All mums are like that,” Dan replied. “I’m sure mine would do the same to my brother if I were away at school. Perks of being the oldest.”

Phil rolled his eyes playfully at Dan trying to mask his face into one of disgust, though his smile gave him away. Making his way to the fridge, Phil moved some bottles around before pulling out a bottle of vodka and two shot glasses.

“Wanna play drunk Mario Kart?”

“Where did you get that?!” Dan asked in disbelief. “I never took you for a vodka drinker.”

“I asked Martyn to buy me something strong before he went back to school in the fall. Mum and dad think the bottle is his, and all it took was a month of chores, plus the cost of the bottle,” Phil smiled triumphantly. “We’re on break and that calls for celebration!”

“But vodka?” Dan asked, scrunching up his nose. “Why not rum? Or at least a flavored vodka?”

“Yeah, not my first choice either, but it has a high alcohol content so we’ll be feeling great after a few shots.”

“Fine, I’ll do shots with you, but I’m grabbing orange juice for a chaser.”

Grabbing the bottle of orange juice, both boys hopped up the stairs into Phil’s room. Despite knowing no one else was home, Dan still closed the door behind them.

*

“You’re fugging terrible at this,” Phil slurred 6 shots in.

“Shuddup,” Dan giggled crashing into a wall. “I’m still waaay better than you.”

“Nuh uh.”

“Yeah huh.”

“You’re dumb,” Phil laughed pushing Dan over who just fell to the floor and lay there rather than getting up.

“The room is spinning. Lay here with me, look.”

Phil plopped down on his back next to Dan and closed his eyes taking in Dan’s familiar scent mixed with alcohol.

“Boop, wake up,” Dan said in a high pitched voice poking Phil’s nose.

“I’m gonna bite your finger off,” Phil playfully threatened opening his eyes just enough to see Dan’s.

“Noooo you’re not cause it’s not a worm,” Dan burst out laughing. “Like when you were 8.”

“That was one time! Cause Martyn made me,” Phil pouted trying not to smile knowing he was failing anyways.

“That’s okay,” Dan finally replied wiping a fake tear from his eye once he calmed down. “You’re pretty. Your eyes are pretty. I like them. They’re like…I dunno, like pools or something. I could go swimming in them.”

“I like you, Dan,” Phil said suddenly, trying not to slur his words.

“I like you too,” Dan replied drunkenly.

“No, like…really. How like, you know how Ms. Mooney looks at Mrs. Bey but they can’t cause she’s married? Like that kind of like,” Phil explained.

“Oh,” Dan nodded trying to shake off his drunken haze.

“I’ve been scared to tell you because I like that you’re my friend and I didn’t wanna mess things up but now I’m drunk and I’m saying everything in my head.”

“I like you too. From the first day with the papers. That’s why I talked to you,” Dan admitted feeling his cheeks flush, though he wasn’t sure if it was from the alcohol or finally admitting his feelings to Phil.

“Your face is red,” Phil laughed, poking his tongue out between his teeth.

“So is yours,” Dan rebutted trying to cover his face. “Are you still gonna like me when we’re sober?”

“Duh,” Phil said rolling his eyes. “I wish I told you I liked you sooner. Like when I was sober. Why didn’t you tell me you liked me?”

“Not telling,” Dan slurred shaking his head.

“Come ooon,” Phil begged. “You gotta tell me now!”

“Never ever, ever,” Dan snorted making a sloppy ‘lock and key’ motion with his hand.

“Not never ever, ever! Tell me!” Phil whined slowly pushing himself up so that he could climb on top of Dan. “I’m gonna tickle you.”

“You can’t mess with me, I’m drunk,” Dan laughed making absolutely no effort to get out from under Phil as he began wiggling his fingers over Dan’s stomach.

“You gotta!” Phil replied laughing along with Dan while doing his best not to fall over.

“Okay, okay!” Dan shrieked with laughter when Phil got to Dan’s neck making him arch his back up. “I’ll tell, I’ll tell! Just not the neck!”

Phil sat on Dan pulling his hands away from his neck and rested them on his chest to steady himself.

“I didn’t say because I thought you were so good. Like so pretty and nice. Just so stupidly perfect. And you would never like me back and I know I would miss you if you didn’t wanna be friends because I messed up and said the secret,” Dan stammered trying his best to make sense.

“You’re silly,” Phil giggled. “I would never stop being your friend.”

Both boys fell into comfortable silence for a few seconds before Phil spoke again.

“I can feel your heart beating.”

“That’s a good thing, I’m not dead,” Dan replied thinking it sounded much funnier in his head as he put one of his hands over Phil’s. “Can I kiss you?”

“Only if I can kiss you,” Phil smiled leaning down.

Due to his drunken state, Phil fell faster than intended and instead of kissing Dan, their noses bashed together making them erupt in a new wave of laughter as Phil rolled onto his bedroom floor.

“That was the worst first kiss attempt ever,” Phil breathed through giggles.

“Try again,” Dan smiled now that they were both lying on the floor on their sides.

“I did try, it’s your turn,” Phil challenged grabbing Dan’s hand in his.

“Let’s just lay here for a minute and get not drunk,” Dan decided. “Then I’m gonna kiss you so good.”

“So good,” Phil repeated as Dan rested his free hand on Phil’s cheek.

***

“Ugh, I hate this song!” Dan whined turning off the car radio. “Why is every song the same?”

Since starting their last year of school, Phil’s mum decided to let Phil drive the family car as long as Dan was with him to make sure he wasn’t being reckless. Both boys’ parents didn’t know about their relationship, not because they were afraid of their reaction, but because they knew they would never be left alone together if they told their parents they were more than friends.

“Hey, my car, my rules,” Phil joked turning the radio back on as he turned into Hazel Valley’s car park. “If you hate every song on the radio, why don’t you just write one yourself? Put those forgotten piano lessons to good use.”

“Playing a piece of music that’s already been written and writing the music myself are two very different things,” Dan giggled. “And it would probably sound like everything that’s already written because I have no creativity whatsoever.”

“You know that’s not true,” Phil replied as he pulled into an empty spot. “I heard if you write about something you love, it’ll just fall right out.”

“I can’t write lyrics! And I’m not writing a song about something I love because that ‘something’ is you and that’s what every song on the radio is about,” Dan smiled resting his hand over Phil’s.

“Every song on the radio is not about me,” Phil joked missing the point on purpose leaning in for a kiss from his boyfriend. “It could be romantic.”

“It definitely wouldn’t be,” Dan laughed. “It would be like, ‘hey I don’t know you, but I think that we should be friends for a few months then get really drunk when we’re 16 and make out.’”

“We didn’t make out. We didn’t even kiss! I fell on your face and almost broke both our noses,” Phil laughed loudly recalling his fondest memory with Dan.

“So romantic,” Dan smirked peppering a few more kisses on Phil’s face then neck.

“Don’t start this here,” Phil sighed wishing he could indulge. “We’ll get written up for being late again.”

“So?”

“So, they’ll call our parents and they’ll put the pieces together.”

“You really are a mood killer, you know that?” Dan pouted sitting back in the passenger seat. “But you’re right. Maybe during lunch we can come back in here and make out?”

“I can’t believe I ever thought there would be a romantic bone in your body Dan Howell,” Phil laughed hopping out of the car.

Dan climbed out behind Phil and followed him into the building, tucking his lyric-filled notebook under his arm promising to himself that he would finish the song he started writing the day after his hangover at Phil’s house.

[notionsofasimpleton]

Dog Shit

When I opened my eyes she was already awake, her dark silhouette moving slowly throughout the room. I let my eyes adjust to the darkness as I watched her every move as she piled each piece of clothing one on top of the other. Before long she had a handful and made her way out the room. I watched her quietly close the door bedroom and laid in silence as I waited for the main door to open and close. Five minutes had passed before I heard anything, then there was the opening of the fridge. A second later it closed and a few more seconds after that I heard the main door open, followed by her key locking it shut. The sound left an unsettling feeling that echoed throughout the walls, I waited for it to stop. I glanced over at my phone in the dark, it was only half past four, I tried to go back to sleep.

           The light from the window shined bright through the blinds as I rolled out of bed. I needed curtains I thought to myself, I don’t know how many more mornings I could put up with being woken by the sunlight. I made my way to the kitchen and started up the coffee maker, then I walked lazily to the restroom to take a piss. Afterwards I gave my teeth a good brush and washed my face with warm water in fear that the cold might throw me into shock. I always thought it was better to ease into the mornings rather than being hit by them, that is, if you were giving the option. Most weren’t given the option. I looked at myself in the mirror wondering if there was any new difference, another day older, when would it show?

           Back in the kitchen the coffee was done and I poured myself a cup filling it with Splenda and hazelnut creamer. I took a long drink and headed out to the balcony. Outside the sun was shining bright, but a nice breeze made it bearable. I had a seat on one of the chairs outside and began to look down across at the ground floor of the apartment complex, I lived on the second floor. There was a man walking his Bichon Frise through the parts of grass and he or she was sniffing for a good place to shit. Moments later the dog found a nice spot on the sidewalk. The man looked around and then began on a slight jog away from the scene, he didn’t notice me. I watched the big pile of shit as it rested in the middle of the sidewalk, I was sure someone would step in it. A man or woman too busy to notice a giant pile right in front of them, what a way to start the morning.

           The first person that passed was a mother and her two children. She looked to be in her early 30s and had dirty blonde hair. She was trying to manage holding her purse and pulling her two children, a boy and a girl, as they walked along the sidewalk. I was sure it’d be one of them. When they began to get closer I watched without taking my eyes off. About 5 steps before, the little boy raised his finger pointing at the big pile, “Momma… Momma look its poo!”. She slowed down only slightly and made her way through the grass dodging the big pile of shit.

           Then next person to come up the walkway was Donaldson, the old man who lived below me. He was a good man, when I first moved in he brought me a fifth of whiskey and we had a few drinks before he went back to his flat. He lived alone since his wife passed and although him and I were on good terms, I couldn’t say the same for the others that lived in our complex. He walked with a cane but somehow managed to move swiftly, using it more as a utensil to get an extra step rather than to hold himself up. When he got close to the pile of shit I stood up.

“Donaldson, watch out for that pile of dog shit!”

“What?”

He used a hearing aid. I shouted louder.

           “The pile of dog shit, Donaldson!”

He finally managed to see what I had been pointing at and his face grew red.

“WHAT IN THE BLOODY NAME OF…WHO IN THE HELL…AGHHH! FUCKING SHIT!”

I tried to hold back tears of laughter and joined him in the rage to know I was on his side.

“Fucking animals I tell ya, these young folks don’t have no respect these days Donaldson”

           “You’re damn right they don’t! Somebody gotta teach these kids some manners. I gots to clean this up before somebody steps in it.”

And with that I watched him move quickly as he passed the dog shit, looking back every few steps mumbling words I couldn’t quite make out. When he left, the complex went quiet and I noticed my mug was empty. I made a trip back inside and filled up with coffee, creamer, and Splenda again. I thought it was a good time to check my phone so I made my way to the bedroom and lifted up the sheets with one hand while I maintained my coffee in the other. With one good tug my phone flew up off the bed and landed on the floor. I picked it up examining for signs of damage and then made my way back to the main room. I took a seat on the sofa and opened up my phone. One message was from my boss asking if I could come in today, the other was from Gracie explaining why she left.

I’m sorry I had to leave so early, I hope I didn’t wake you. I just had to be back home before you know who. Let’s get together again tonight? I promise I’ll stay the whole night this time. I’ll even make us breakfast in the morning. Talk to you later

 I read the message twice over and thought about “you know who”, and the situation at whole. What a hole I dug myself into, I thought to myself.

Sure. Come whenever. See you later.

             After sending the message part of me wished I could take it back. I didn’t really know how much I wanted her over anymore. The same routine grew tiresome. Late night stays followed by quiet getaways. Most guys wouldn’t complain, but then again, I wasn’t most guys. While I laid back on the couch I hear a man scream from outside. I ran to the balcony.

“WHAT THE FUCK! WHO THE HELL LEFT THIS SHIT?”

It was a man in shorts and a tank, he looked like had been jogging. He stomped on the sidewalk smearing it across the pavement in hopes of scraping it off his new balance. To top all the commotion Donaldson finally came back out with a plastic bag.

“What the hell are you doing? You’re smearing it all over the fucking place! Didn’t anyone ever teach you how to clean dog shit off your shoe, get a fucking stick or wipe it in the grass!”

Donaldson lunged his cane at the jogger, jabbing him in the chest. The man stumbled back.

“Hey watch where you still that thing you old fart!”

“I’ll stick it up your ass if you don’t get the hell out of here! Now somebody’s gotta spray this shit down. Go on, get the hell outta here!”

The man looked up and saw me leaning off the balcony, then glanced back at Donaldson before making his way back in the other direction smelling of dog shit and body odor. Donaldson was making his way back to his place to get the hose when I thought I’d help him.

“Don’t worry about it Donaldson, I’ll hose it down.”

“You know, you’re a good kid Ritchie, not like these other assholes around here. Why don’t you come over for a cup of joe after you finish cleaning up?”

“Sure Pops, I’ll be over in a bit”

I pulled out the hose and began spraying down the pavement. The whole morning, I spent waiting for someone else to step in shit and here I was cleaning it up, I laughed at the thought. 10 minutes later I was putting up the hose and walked on over to Donaldson’s. The door was open and he was mixing his coffee, he drank his black.  “I don’t have any of that hazelnut crap you drink but there’s some milk in the fridge”, he said. I pulled out the carton and filled up the cup he set out for me.

“Any plans for today kid?”

“Other than cleaning up dog shit? No.”

“I got a little pot from that guy Evan on the other side of the complex if you want to smoke. Back in my day our stuff looked more like dirt than anything else. Today you get half for twice the price, stuff packs a punch though.”

“I’m not much of a smoker”

“Neither am I”

           15 minutes later the old man and I were passing a little joint back and forth taking turns coughing. “How bout I throw on some music?”, he said. I watched him fiddle with an old record player in the corner of the room and put on something by Fleetwood Mac. Before long he was moving his shoulders and snapping his fingers while holding up the roach. The music was relaxing and eventually I was laying on the couch with my shoes off staring up at the ceiling. Donaldson stretched all the way back in his Lazy boy.

“You know that girl Gracie, the one that’s been over a few times, I introduced you?”

“The pretty little brunette, how could I forget. What about her?”

“Well, she has a boyfriend and I guess part of me cares and the other part of me could care less. I love when she’s around but when she’s gone all I can think about is her being with that other guy.”

“Well kid, from what it sounds like, that isn’t the best way to start off a relationship. The longer it goes on the deeper hole you’re going to find yourself in. Eventually you’re gonna get attached and you “only care part of the time” is going to caring “full time” and then you’ll really have a problem on your hands. But, I also don’t want to turn you away from a cute little thing like that, so enjoy the ride while it lasts, just remember it’s all short term and everything will be alright.”

           I thought about what he said and it all made sense. He was right. It was just hard to enjoy something knowing it wouldn’t be around forever. I often found myself thinking about the future instead of enjoying the moment and this time wasn’t any different. Even with his advice I still didn’t know what to do.

“Thanks Pops, I think I’m gonna head upstairs now, I gotta few things to do.”

“Anytime kid. And thanks for picking up that dog shit again.”

He walked me to the door and I made my way upstairs. It was already 5, where did all the time go? When I got to my room my eyes were heavy and I thought about going to sleep but my place was a mess. I cleaned off the kitchen counter and threw out the trash. After that I vacuumed the rest of the place and started thinking about what to eat. Chinese sounded good, maybe some shrimp fried rice. I grabbed the number off the refrigerator and dialed from my cellphone.

“Hello this is Star Wok, pick-up or delivery?”

“Delivery.”

“Ah Ritchie my boy, the usual today?”

“Yeah Sui, could you add an order of shrimp fried rice to that too?”

“Sure thing boss, it’ll be $14.25. And give me 30 minutes and I’ll be over there.”

“You’re doing the deliveries now?”

“Just today, that little bastard Michael called off again today, said he was down with the flu.”

“Well shit, see you in 30 Sui.”

           After I hung up the phone I jumped in the shower. I let the water out cold in hopes of waking me up. I couldn’t help but think back to Gracie. She’d probably be on her way home from work around this time. I washed my hair and scrubbed my body, then got out and dried off. Back in the bedroom I threw on some shorts and a t-shirt when I heard the bell ring. I snatched my wallet from the counter table and pulled out a 20 before opening the door.

           Sui was a thin Asian man who also was on the short side. He had to be in his mid 40s and wore thick glasses that made his tiny eyes appear huge. He was wearing a striped shirt and light jeans when I opened the door.

“Just the man I wanted to see, come on in Sui.” “Okay, but I can’t stay long, a lot of deliveries to go out.”

“That damned Michael.”

“Little asshole, this the second day he called off this week. I fire him when he get back.”

“What I owe you again?” “$14.25”

“Here, keep the change.”

“Thanks Ritchie, need any more soy sauce?”

“No I’m okay, thanks.” “Well I gots to be going, 3 more deliveries to make.”

“Alright, see ya Sui”

After he left I sat the food in front of the TV and turned on a movie. It was Swingers, it was at the part where Vince Vaughn was telling the story about how he tried out for a big brother part in some after school special. I dug into the teriyaki chicken and picked at the shrimp fried rice. When the movie was over and the food was gone I threw away the trash and began reading on the balcony. Ask the Dust by John Fante, my fifth time reading it. I read a good 50 pages before I realized how dark it had gotten outside. Gracie still was a no show. I went back into the apartment and decided to get ready for bed. I moved throughout the apartment turning off all the lights one by one until I was in complete darkness. When I made it to the bedroom I fell into the bed and stared up at the ceiling. My eyes grew heavy but my mind was still wandering, I closed them and began to think what I’d do tomorrow, end things with Gracie maybe. I let the thought past and then there was nothing.

           Somewhere in the back of my head I heard a click, what was it? It was loud and followed by a screeching noise that stretched high and then low. It was the front door. I made no moves, but opened my eyes. The bedroom door opened next and she stumbled in. I heard her heels click against the floor as she took them off. It was too dark to see her face. She then pulled down her dress and was down to her panties. Her silhouette moved slowly and when she got to the corner of the bed, I closed my eyes again. She crawled in and laid there next to me, the smell of liquor lingering through the sheets.

-J.C.

[primadonnatartuffe]

RYAN: *it's time to face the music... she said she'd talk to russet later, so here she is, later, dropping in at russet's place unannounced. maybe because she hopes she'll miss her to avoid doing this just a LITTLE bit longer... but ultimately she does want to, she's just scared. taking in a deep breath, she knocks on her sister's door.*

RUSSET: *No such luck Ryan, she happened to be home in her small little town house on her day off. She had been sipping tea and looking over her outline plan suggestions for the next Odimist fund raiser when she heard the knocking at her door. Mmm, it could be a few people really, but Russet had a bit of a hunch as she gets up from her table and goes to open the door.*

RUSSET: Oh hey =8I *She looks Ryan up and down.*

RYAN: hellooo... *says a little meekly and sheepishly* you busy?

RUSSET: Not really *She hesitates a moment before stepping aside.*

RUSSET: You wanna come in?

RYAN: yeah. *nods before she slowly starts to amble inside, looking around at the interior with interest and awe. russet must be doing well for herself...*

RYAN: i just wanted to... you know.

RYAN: follow up on what i said id do.

RYAN: and talk about... everything?

RUSSET: *Her etsy shop does do well to help fill out her bank account after her usual paychecks. Who knew so many people would want fridge cozies? The main room is rather minimalistic in design style, but just so you know her bathroom is space/galaxy themed.* Mm. Thats cool.

RUSSET: *Shuts the door behind the both of them.* I can reheat tea if you want any.

RYAN: yeah okay i could go for some tea i guess. *despite feeling antsy, she plops herself down on a couch or chair just so she's not standing around.*

RYAN: ... i like your place.

RUSSET: Thanks. *The couch is covered with pink and gray colored thick cableknit blankets, very soft and comfy. Russet briefly vanishes into the next room and a few minutes later she returns with two mugs, one being hers reheated, and another fresh cup for Ryan.*

RUSSET: *She wordlessly sets the mug in front of Ryan and then takes her on seat on the soft swivil chair to the right.*

RYAN: *by the time russet comes back, ryan is completely consumed by this fluffy cozy couch. but she can still reach out to grab her drink.* thaaanks...

RYAN: ...

RYAN: im not... super sure where to... start...

RUSSET: *She sighs over the top of her mug.* I guess I can start. Probably should say sorry for how I was being at the party. Wasn't really the place to hash this out anyways.

RYAN: *shrugs* i mean... its not unwarranted.

RYAN: i know it had to suck seeing me there before anything else.

RYAN: like not to throw a pity party for myself or nothing but i was just really stressed out about coming back.

RYAN: i thought if i just showed up at shindig itd be easier somehow? i guess i didnt expect to see you and finn AND jack all at the same time. the only thing that woulda made it more overwhelming was if dorian was there too. *wilts thinking about dorian... she really made an ass out of herself around him ages ago, and now he's nowhere to be found.*

RUSSET: *She too droops her shoulders at the mentions of Dorian. Why is their whole family troubled with disapearences?* Yeah well. You probably could have thought that through better yeah.

RUSSET: *Sips tea.* ...You said you're staying with dad?

RYAN: *nods slowly* yeah... i dont really know where else to go.

RUSSET: Im sure hes happy to have you around.

RYAN: ... i think hes still pissed at me. *sips also and keeps her mug close to her chest*

RUSSET: Well duh. A lot of people are gonna' be pissed. But even if he's mad hes got to be happy you're back home and safe and not gone with the wind.

RUSSET: Unless you plan to run away again. Not sure how well that might go over. *Sips at her.*

RYAN: *stares down at her mug* no...

RYAN: theres no point in me trying to leave again.

RYAN: there was no point to begin with.

RYAN: it was stupid...

RUSSET: Yeah. It was.

RUSSET: But you still did it.

RYAN: ... im sorry.

RUSSET: *She looks down into her cup, pulling her legs up into the chair with her so she can sit cross legged, and goes silent for several moments.* .............

RUSSET: Why did you do it?

RUSSET: Why did you run away again?

RYAN: i dont know i-- *draws in a sharp breath*

RYAN: it was so long ago now i barely even remember what was going through my head.

RYAN: of course i might remember it better if i hadnt completely fucking fried my brain lmao.

RYAN: *huffs another sigh* i just know i was like... overwhelmed...

RYAN: between jack and me... and with all my bullshit.

RYAN: i just know i wanted to hide from it.

RUSSET: *She listens, and tries to find ways to sympathize with Ryan. Her little sister did have a few problems, and Russet could wrap her mind around feeling overwhelmed by stuff, but running away for years? That was too much.*

RUSSET: You know there are other ways you could have handled it. Without ditching all of us.

RYAN: *eyes start watering. no... she's wearing mascara, she can't have this.* i know that... i know that /now./

RUSSET: *heavens not the mascara. See this is why Russet likes her circle shades, they do well to hide too much emotion.*

RUSSET: I guess at least you learned that much. *Produces a napkin and holds it out to Ryan.*

RYAN: *takes it* ... yeah. *she learned plenty more than that, but she doesn't want to make it seem like she's fishing for sympathy. she doesn't deserve that. she just tries to think of ways to update russet without it coming off that way.*

RYAN: i got into a lot of shit.

RYAN: i made a lot of mistakes.

RYAN: i had to go to rehab. *shrugs*

RYAN: thats why i came back.

RUSSET: Wait... What?? *Sits up more in her chair, frowning pretty harshly.*

RUSSET: Rehab?

RYAN: ... yeah. *dabs at her eyes with the napkin* i got really fucked up and this girl i was seeing made me go.

RYAN: and then she you know broke up with me.

RYAN: but again i dont blame her.

RUSSET: Thats...

RUSSET: Mm. Wow. Sorry I'm trying to like.

RUSSET: Form the right words to respond to that.

RUSSET: ......Thats rough, Ryan.

RUSSET: *Nailed it.*

RYAN: *shrugs* you dont have to say anything its fine. it is what it is.

RUSSET: Yeaaahhh but its still shitty. I mean, I'm mad at you but still thats difficult to go through.

RUSSET: Does your mom know?

RYAN: *nods slowly* yeah... i told her and dad first.

RUSSET: Thats good. I'm glad you told them.

RYAN: kinda have to tell people. you know... to reconcile and all that?? its all part of the program.

RYAN: but i want to anyway.

RUSSET: Oh. Well thats better then just coming back to complete the program.

RUSSET: .......I'm glad youre back. Even if it doesn't seem like it.

RYAN: *hearing that makes her eyes water more and her voice squeaks a little when she speaks* cool. yeah...

RYAN: im glad im back too.

RYAN: and i really...

RYAN: i really am... really sorry.

RUSSET: *Ryan you better not start crying, gdi. Russet is too much of a bleeding heart for this.* Thanks. I believe it.

RUSSET: I um... I dont know how long I'm going to be mad at you about this. I forgive you but also dont at the same time its really confusing. And its hard not to still feel hurt because until now I didn't have any idea why you ran away, and I didn't get to think about it too much because I felt like I had to pick up the pieces of everyone else, so I'm kind of bitter? *Says it like a question, shes figuring it out as she goes and just holds her mug closer to herself to feed off the warmth.*

RUSSET: I want us to be okay again, eventually. Because I thought we were getting to some sort of level of okay with each other until you ran off.

RYAN: yeah... i know i fucked it all up. *she's crying, she can't stop it now. she's bottled it up too long, and if there's one person she really feels guilty about, it's russet, for all the reasons she just mentioned.*

RYAN: i wanted things to get better... i was just--

RYAN: fuck...

RYAN: im just so sorry. i dont wanna be dumb or petty or awkward anymore.

RYAN: i missed you... i missed you nagging at me and i missed your cute little craft things and all your motherly lil habits.

RYAN: i didnt realize how much i needed people like that in my life to keep me grounded.

RUSSET: *Well heck. Shes turning a little orange now, a combination about Ryan saying all these nice things about her meddling, and then there is the whole choking back emotion because if Ryan is crying shes NOT going to cry. Because if they both start bawling it will never stop she knows it.*

RUSSET: Well shit. =B'I

RYAN: *wheezes out a watery laugh at that response.* i know... damn... really unexpected hearing ryan get all sappy.

RUSSET: *Nods and sniffles just a little.* It is. I think someone might have to pinch me to make sure this is real.

RYAN: would... a hug work?

RUSSET: *She thinks about it and then places her mug on the glass coffee table before opening her arms wide.*

RUSSET: Yes. =B''T

RYAN: *HHH she puts her mug down as well, wiggling out of this couch and then shuffling over to fit into her big sister's arms.*

RUSSET: *Wraps her arms around Ryan and gives her a big squeeze. This hug is pouring in the warmth and love of all the hugs she hasnt been able to give Ryan in years. Enjoy Russet's watery, emotional, bug chirps in your ear because its too much!!.*

RYAN: *the chirps are a comfort and she responds with more soft giggles. she sighs, relaxing into the hug and letting the warmth comfort her and convince her that things might finally start to be alright...*

RYAN: is it okay if i hang out here for a lil while...?

RUSSET: *She nods into Ryan's shoulder.* Mhm. I'm not doing anything today.

RYAN: okay cool cuz im gonna impose like hell for as long as i can get away with it. *pulls away, smiling softly as she flops back onto the couch*

RUSSET: *When she and Ryan part Russet breifly sneaks a finger under her glasses to wipe at her misty eyes.* Fine by me. But you shouldnt stay too long past dark unless you are getting a ride somewhere.

RYAN: *she's gotta dab at her eyes some more too...* yeah okay that can be arranged. *AND SO she gets settled in, drinking tea and catching up on some of the more positive things that have happened.*