#i gotta get her a new enclosure anyway

[scrambled-meat]

idk if i can get a good pic (esp w this camera) but baby moved her molt

i tried 2 get it out the way 4 her cuz she made a little tunnel web that she spends most of her time in--esp post-molt--n she molted IN the lip of the tunnel, so i was like "shit, how is she gonna get out of there??

shes prolly not gonna wanna move 4 a while since she jus molted n shes prolly still rly tired, but when she DOES wanna move, hows she gonna get out?? esp now that shes fucken HUGE since this most recent molt"

turns out shes fully capable of moving it herself (i tried moving it myself but by the time i did she had sucked all the moisture out of it so it almost crumbled with the softest touch, even w plastic tweezers). there's still broken off pieces stuck to the silk of her web, but the rest of the intact body of the molt, at some point while i was asleep or something she hoisted it all the way up to the top of her tunnel and stuck it there.

at least she has a clear method of access both out of and into her tunnel!! lol

[skrunksthatwunk]

the new (accidental) majima family mascot

discoveries + settling in

she won't sit still for the camera :(

headcanons + backstory + closeups below cut:

ok SO basically my idea's that nishida's got a niece or something and she can't keep her snake for whatever reason (i.e. moving in with fiance who's terrified of snakes), so he's taking care of her temporarily. and he's telling the other majima construction boys about this while they're on break and majima overhears and is like no way. ya Gotta let me meet the snake. because he's curious y'know.

he keeps trying to get her to like... do tricks or to feed her snacks and stuff. like c'mere girlie here i smuggled ya some crumbs ;) don't tell nishida okay ;)) but she is Not Interested because that doesn't even register as food to her. he's surprised by how cold she is and how content she is to just sit there most of the time but he kinda gets attached and long story short. majima family office pet.

kinda wonder if she'd be taken hostage at some point. feels like a substory plot.

anyway she's a corn snake so she's pretty low maintenance, and while majima's like >:/ woulda rather we'd gotten a big big fucker i mean look how small her head is >:// it's probably for the best, since most of the family hasn't had to care for a reptile before

some family members are scared of her. majima tells them to suck it up because he's scarier. if they get too fussy he starts sticking their hands in her enclosure just to fuck with them, until he realizes it scares the snake, and then he stops. he still threatens to take their pinkies and feed them to her, though. sometimes he leaves her shed skin at their desks and is like oooohhh she got out again whoooppss watch out she's a biter

he sticks to feeding her thawed frozen mice because that's what nishida and his niece did, but if he'd been on his own he'd probably have pit a live mouse against the snake to keep her strong and on her toes and bc he likes seeing her fight (don't do this btw)

he's very confused about snake anatomy (like. why doesn't she have eyelids?) and did some research and now knows like. wayyy too much about cloacas. which he tells nishida about because it makes him uncomfortable and he finds that funny

he gets really into enclosure decorating for a while, wanting to build her the biggest and coolest thing he can. it's kind of beautiful actually

given the life majima leads, such a low-maintenance animal actually kinda suits him. she needs him, but it's not for much and there's not that strong an emotional element to it on her end. there's a distance to it that lets him feel safer getting stuck on her, and which makes him feel a lot less guilty when he dips for a few days. (though he's sure to send someone around to check on her, he figures she can fend for herself outside of checking water levels and stuff)

also i feel like saejima would like her. mutual sitting there swag (she's not as energetic as majima and not as chill as saejima. in-betweener)

also majima leaves the gross stuff up to his boys, of course.

[theradicalscrivener]

Trevor: Check Up

A shorter and sillier chapter. Some slice of life with the bros. Noah takes Rex to his check up, and the duo meet one of the new researchers who are studying the phenomenon.

(P.S. Ya boi's got Linktree and Bluesky now)

[First Chapter] || [Previous Chapter] || [Next Chapter]

                “Why do I gotta go see this guy anyway?” Rex asked.

                “What do you mean, why? We’ve got to make sure everything is as it should be… or close enough,” Noah replied.

                “How boooring!” Rex replied.

                Noah had been making some upgrades to Rex’s enclosure over the past few weeks. The first thing he did was figure out how to hook up a microphone inside so that Rex could speak to him directly as opposed to having to text everything. The hard part wasn’t finding a mic that could pick up Rex’s voice. The hard part was fine tuning the software so that the mic didn’t pick up everything else. Rex was so tiny that his voice was drowned out by even the faintest whisper of a breeze. If Noah had just cranked a mic to the max setting and put it in Rex’s compact, all that would be heard was air and static.

                “I feel great! I’m in perfect health! If they haven’t found anything in the last twelve times they’ve examined me, why would they find something now!?” Rex whined.

                “They still don’t know what happened to you in the first place. If there are going to be any further complications, it’s best to catch it early. You don’t want to suddenly start getting smaller, do you?” Noah replied.

                There was a silence on the other end of the call. Noah stopped in his tracks and tapped the Bluetooth earpiece he had in. “Rex. Can you hear me?” He asked.

                “Yeah. I was just thinking,” Rex replied.

                “Why do you have to think about that?” Noah replied with an exasperated sigh.

                “Hey! It’s not so bad once you get used to it! Cocks are so huge at my size! Like, have you seen what Simon is working with!?” Rex retorted.

                “For the love of… please stop thinking about cocks for five seconds,” Noah sighed.

                Beside him on the bus an older lady gave a gasp of shock and disgust. Noah turned to her and gave her an apologetic look and a furtive nod before returning to his conversation.

                “Look what you did. You got a church lady mad at me,” Noah grumbled.

                Rex couldn’t reply because he was cackling at the image of it.

                “Yeah, yeah. Yuck it up. At least this is our stop,” Noah said.

                Noah stepped off the bus and made his way up the path to the modern-looking building in front of him. This was the new science annex of the university that he (and formerly Rex) attended. Noah gave a nod to the receptionist who pointed him towards one of the offices in the back.

                This wasn’t the first time he had been here. Rex had been brought here immediately after The Incident. This was actually where Noah had first seen Rex after Rex had been reduced down below a millimeter. At the time, Noah could not believe what he was seeing, and even months later, it was still hard to fathom. His big brother was now so tiny that he could get lost in the space underneath Noah’s fingernail like any other spec of grit…

                Noah stepped into the familiar lab where he had first found the sand-sized spec of his older brother and walked towards the familiar back room where the regular check-ups had all taken place. As Noah entered he was surprised to find a young man not much older than himself hunched over the microscope.

                “Where’s Dr. Bradbury?” Noah asked.

                “Oh! He’s on vacation this week. I’m taking care of the check-ups though,” The man said with a warm smile.

                “Oh. I see. So, Doctor…?” Noah said. His voice trailed at the end as if goading the scientist to introduce himself.

                “No. No doctor. Just Julio is fine. I’m not a doctor. Not yet anyway. I’m working on my doctorate. That’s part of why I’m here!” he said excitedly.

                “Internal medicine as well?” Noah asked.

                “Oh, no. Microbiology,” the man replied.

                Noah was momentarily taken aback, but after mulling it over for a second shrugged and gave a nod. That made sense, actually.

                “Anyway. I’m Noah. I’m here with my brother, Rex. We had an appointment,” Noah explained.

                “Oh, right! Well, send him in, and we can get started,” Julio replied.

                Noah was once again taken aback. Send him in? That wasn’t really possible.

               “How much of the case file have you read?” Noah asked.

                “The basics. Subject: Rex. Age: Twenty. Estimated height: one-third millimeter,” Julio said while reading the facts off of the clipboard beside him.

                “One-third?” Noah replied in shock.

                “Oh, yes. One of the smallest cases,” Julio replied.

                “It’s hard to imagine anyone smaller,” Noah replied.

                “I should introduce you to Mitch sometime,” Julio replied.

                “Who’s Mitch?” Noah asked, but it was Rex who replied.

                “He means Mitchel. The TA,” Rex replied.

                “Oh! The guy who was actually holding the… whatever?” Noah asked.

                “Indeed. If only we could figure out what it was he was mixing at the time, we may figure out what happened,” Julio replied. He seemed oblivious to the fact that Noah wasn’t speaking to him.

                “So, how small is he anyway?” Noah asked.

                “Hard to tell. Our equipment gets a bit dicey at that size,” Julio replied.

                “I could hold him like an action figure, if that means anything,” Rex replied.

                Noah stood there in stunned silence as he tried to run the numbers in his head. What was that? Maybe a tenth of Rex’s size? That would be…

                “Wait… A thirtieth of a millimeter!? What even is the next smaller unit of measure!?” Noah asked.

                “Fuck if I know,” Rex replied.

                “The next smaller unit is microns. And 30 microns would be… give or take the size of your run of the mill bacteria. There are some much larger and smaller, though,” Julio replied. He sounded very pleased with himself.

                “He’s bacteria-sized?” Noah yelped, but then his attention rapidly shifted to something else. “Wait! You’re small enough to hold bacteria!? Like. You can see them and everything!?” Noah asked.

                “Yeah? You get used to them quickly. They are literally everywhere,” Rex replied.

                At the same time, Julio also replied to Noah’s question. “Not without proper equipment. Mitch has been helping me with my research though. I must admit, it’s fascinating what he has managed to discover at his size. I almost wish our roles were reversed, but then… that would mean I would be studying chemistry and not microbiology…” Julio replied. He seemed noticeably baffled by the logistics of why he would want to study chemistry.

                “It sounds like you want to get shrunk too,” Noah commented.

                Julio shrugged. “I don’t know. The scientist in me says it would be fascinating. A whole new world to explore, but the realist in me says that there’s no way back if I do,” he said.

                “No way back?” the brothers said in unison, but Julio could only hear the one.

                “Well, yes. Assuming we isolate the compound that did this, that’s only the tip of the iceberg. We’d need to determine the physical process that the human body underwent in being reduced so small. Even if we understand the process, there’s very little chance of reversing it. Reducing matter has a completely separate set of rules compared to enlarging it,” Julio explained.

                Noah wasn’t sure how to react to this news. On some level, he had always sort of assumed that this was temporary. Rex on the other hand, didn’t seem fazed.

                “Them’s the breaks,” Rex said with a shrug.

                “How are you so calm about this?” Rex asked.

                Rex shrugged. This gesture was, of course, inaudible, but Noah knew his brother enough to know it was happening. Julio’s response on the other hand came through loud and clear.

                “I… I hadn’t thought about it. It’s only since the accident that I’ve been dealing directly with those affected. To me, they’ve always been like that,” Julio replied.

                “Right…” Noah replied.

                There was an awkward pause after that. Part of Noah was debating just skipping out of there right after that. Julio clearly had his own issues. Did Noah really want to entrust his spec-sized sibling to such a space-case? Still… Dr. Bradbury trusted this guy, so if nothing else, he knew what he was doing from a technical standpoint.

                “Look. My brother’s here for his check-up. Let’s just get this taken care of so we can get going,” Noah said after an uncomfortable pause.

                “Very well, send him in,” Julio replied.

                “Well… he’s right here,” Noah replied. Noah reached into his pocket and pulled out the small compact that had been converted into Rex’s bedroom. Noah clicked the latch which caused the compact to pop open revealing the contents and the occupant to the scientist’s curious eyes.

                “Oh. Isn’t that precious,” Julio replied.

                “Ok. Yeah. This guy is weird,” Rex replied.

                “Yeah. No kidding,” Noah replied under his breath.

                “At least he’s hot,” Rex added.

                “You think every guy is hot, though,” Noah replied.

                “Hmm?” Julio asked.

                “Not every guy. Just the hot ones,” Rex replied.

                “Look. This is getting silly. Here,” Noah said as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a second earpiece.

                “What’s this?” Julio asked.

                “Just give me a second to pair it, and you’ll be able to hear Rex. It should make this… slightly less awkward,” Noah explained.

                After a few seconds and some beeping from the new earpiece, the equipment was in order, and Julio was able to put on the earpiece. It wasn’t long before Julio could hear the voice of the tiny man in his ear.

                “What’s up, doc!?” Rex said enthusiastically.

                “Not a doctor yet, no. Just an assistant,” Julio replied.

                “Do you know what a cartoon is?” Rex teased.

                “Of course. I was a fan of Dexter’s Lab growing up,” Julio replied.

                “Ok. So, you’re human. That’s a good first step,” Rex said.

                “I should think so,” Julio replied.

                Rex turned and looked up at his towering “little” brother and said, “I really, really, want to razz him, but I don’t think it’s physically possible!”

                “Just bear with it for now. He just needs to get some readings from you,” Noah replied.

                “Indeed, I do! Let’s get you on the slide,” Julio said excitedly.

                Julio reached over to a cup on the table and pulled out a Q-Tip. He dabbed it on the tip of his tongue, and then reached down and poked the dampened tip against the miniscule figure standing in the compact.

                Rex suddenly found himself stuck to the tip of the cotton swab. He was quickly lifted up into the air and then summarily deposited onto a glass slide underneath a microscope. The trek was only a handful of inches, but at Rex’s miniscule size, it felt like he was being propelled at warp speed. Everything was a blur and his stomach felt like it was launched into his mouth. 

                Rex rubbed his shoulder as he recovered from his landing. He liked being handled roughly as much as the next guy, but this sucked. He didn’t even get to play with a dude’s dick in the process!

                Rex tried to vocalize his annoyance, but he quickly realized that he was nowhere near the microphone in his enclosure. There was no way the two giants could hear him at his size, but that didn’t mean he was incapable of communication. Rex plopped down on the slide and crossed his arms in front of his chest to show his annoyance.

                “Well, he certainly looks healthy, but I wouldn’t say he’s in good spirits,” Julio said as he leaned over the microscope and peered down at the tiny figure.

                “Yeah, well. Your bedside manner could use some work, doc,” Noah replied.

                “You’re not the first person to tell me that…” Julio murmured.

                Noah glanced over at Julio and raised an eyebrow curiously but did not say anything. Eventually, Julio followed up on his prior comment.

                “Honestly, in my line of work, I never thought I would be working with people. I guess I got used to the idea of always being alone in a lab staring down a microscope,” Julio explained.

                “Would you want to go back to that?” Noah asked.

                “No. I actually like the company, and I’m too invested in this to quit even if I wanted to,” Julio said.

                “So, you just need to work on your people skills,” Noah said.

                “Easier said than done,” Julio replied.

                “Don’t I know it,” Noah replied.

                Julio gave a soft chuckle and shook his head. “It’s something to work on another day, I suppose. For now, my patient awaits,” he said.

                Julio once again leaned in and looked through the microscope down at the spec-sized student.

                “Could you lay back so I could get a better look at you?” Julio asked.

                Rex nodded and laid down on his back. He stared up at the lifeless eye of the microscope lens which was suspended seemingly hundreds of feet above him. Rex usually felt tiny, but he currently felt absolutely miniscule. It was like he was on a whole ‘nother plane of existence than the his brother and the new researcher. Rex couldn’t even see the titans standing over him. He could barely even hear them. Julio’s voice was so intense that it was more a physical sensation than a sound. Rex’s entire body resonated with the vibrations of the giant’s baritone voice.

                “Very good. Very good. You certainly look healthy. Nice tone but not emaciated. Getting plenty of exercise but not starving…” Julio commented. His voice trailed off as he noticed motion between Rex’s legs. It appeared Rex’s cock was starting to stand at attention.

                “You definitely appear healthy down there, too,” Julio said playfully. 

                “I bet you say that to all the boys, doc,” Rex teased back, but of course there was no way Julio could hear him.

                “No… Only to the cute ones,” Julio replied.

                “W-what!?” Noah and Rex replied in unison.

                “Hm?” Julio replied.

                “Can you hear me?” Rex asked.

                “No. Not hear you. I’ve gotten very good at reading lips, though. It’s the only way Mitch and I can communicate,” Julio replied.

                “Oh? So, doc. Like what you see?” Rex replied.

                “Again. Not a doctor, but yes. I do appreciate the view,” Julio replied.

                “Should I give you two some privacy?” Noah asked.

                “Just working on my bedside manner,” Julio replied with a smirk.

                “You can bed me side your manor,” Rex said.

                “I… don’t know how that would work,” Julio replied.

                “I don’t know what he said, but I don’t have to to know it was horny,” Noah said.

                “It was a bit blue, yes,” Julio replied.

                “Blue like my balls!” Rex replied.

                “They’re a perfectly normal shade of pink,” Julio replied.

                Noah shook his head and pinched the bridge of his nose. He let out a sigh, but this was probably the best he could have hoped for in this situation.

                “He’s always been a hornball, and getting shrunk didn’t change that. I swear, I think he likes being tiny,” Noah said with a sigh.

                “It’s better than the alternative, I suppose,” Julio commented.

                “How so?” Noah asked.

                “He’s happy, right? Some of the other victims aren’t so fortunate,” Julio replied.

                Noah shrugged and said, “Yeah. I guess so… He’s definitely perked up a lot since he started hanging out with Trevor again.”

                “Oh. You all know each other? He was my previous patient. They just left about… twenty minutes ago? Give or take,” Julio replied.

                “How are they doing?” Rex asked.

                “Patient confidentiality and all that, but Trevor seemed in good spirits…” Julio replied, but there was a faint hint of unease in what he was saying.

                “I feel like there is a but there…” Noah commented.

                “Well, I already told you that you’re not the first to comment on my bedside manner,” Julio said.

                Noah shuddered slightly in spite of himself. Simon was a great guy, but he had the uncanny ability to give someone such an intense stink-eye that they immediately rethought every mistake they had made in the past twelve years. Noah didn’t even want to think how Simon would react to someone who actually pissed him off – or worse, did something to upset Trevor.

                Julio redirected his attention back towards the tiny figure on the slide. “Well, you seem perfectly healthy. Unfortunately, we are limited on what tests we can do, but height seems the same and there’s no obvious sign of illness… I suppose it would be difficult for you to get an infection at your size…” Julio murmured mostly to himself.

“That mean we’re done here?” Rex asked.

“There’s just one more thing I’ll need from you,” Julio replied.

                “Need me to piss in a cup?” Rex asked.

                “Huh… that’s not normally part of this examination, but I suppose it couldn’t hurt,” Julio replied.

                “I was joking, but I do kinda need to piss. Can we hurry this up?” Rex asked.

                “Right. Well, prick your finger on this. I’ll need a droplet of blood,” Julio said. He then moved an almost imperceptibly skinny need down onto the slide where Rex could reach it.

                The needle was almost as thin as fishing wire, but at Rex’s size it was thicker than his thumb. This was going to hurt to prick himself on. On the plus side, he just needed a little prick. It wasn’t like he had to shove the entire needle in.

                Rex winced preemptively and pressed his thumb against the tip. He let out a yelp in spite of himself as it broke the surface and blood began to spill forth from the wound.

                “Fuck that hurt!” Rex muttered, but again, no one could hear him. He wasn’t even looking at Julio so it wasn’t like Julio could read his lips, but that was probably for the best.

                “Great. That’s all I need from you today. You’re free to go,” Julio said.

                Julio once more reached down with the Q-tip and plucked Rex up from the slide before depositing Rex back into his compact. As soon as Rex was set down, he scrambled towards the mic and said, “Thanks, doc. Maybe next time we can have a little more fun!”

                “What did you have in mind?” Julio asked.

                “Probably something horny,” Noah said with a sigh.

                “Of course it’s horny!” Rex replied.

                “How would that even work?” Julio asked.

                “You could honestly just drop him in your undies, and he’ll be happy as a clam,” Noah replied.

                “It’s fun for everyone!” Rex agreed.

                “Huh…” Julio muttered to himself. His dark complexion didn’t mask the redness in his cheeks.

                “He’s seriously considering it,” the brothers said in unison. Although their tones were nearly polar opposites.

                While Julio was still busy mulling over Rex’s last cheer, Rex hit him with another one that caught him equally off guard. “Hit me with your digits!” Rex shouted.

                Julio stared down at his hand in confusion, but Noah was quick to intervene.

                “Do. Not!” Noah shouted and then quickly clarified, “He’s just asking for your phone number.”

                “Oh? Is that all?” Julio asked. He then reached into a nearby drawer and pulled out a small piece of paper and a pen and scribbled his number down and passed it to Noah.

                Noah accepted the slip of paper while Rex shouted a cheerful, “Thanks, doc!”

                “Again… not a doctor…” Julio muttered, but he suddenly perked up and tapped the device in his ear.

                “You’ll need this back!” He said to Noah.

                “Oh, yeah. Although, with your line of work, it may help you to have one,” Noah replied.

                “That’s true. Do you think you could set it up to even pick up what Mitch is saying?” Julio asked.

                “I… honestly don’t know. Getting the sensitivity right for Rex was a lot of work. I don’t know what kind of vibrations a guy Mitch’s size would even make. There may not be equipment strong enough in existence for that… definitely nothing that I could throw together at home, anyway,” Noah said.

                “True…” Julio murmured as he stroked the stubble on his chin.

                There was a brief pause as Julio mulled it over, but then a uncharacteristic glint appeared in his eye, and he was suddenly grinning from ear to ear. “This equipment would be a huge boon for our research,” he said suddenly.

                “If I can get it to work, maybe,” Noah replied.

                “It will already work for all the larger patients. As I said before Rex is among the smallest. He’s second only to Mitch himself,” Julio explained.

                “How did that work? Wasn’t Mitch working with some students at the time? Shouldn’t that group have been closer to his size than Rex? I mean. Assuming size is based on proximity,” Noah said.

                “That’s right… I have looked at the map, but…” Julio mused.

                “I was out of my seat at the time. I was “throwing something away”,” Rex explained.

                “I can hear those air quotes. What the hell did you do?” Noah asked.

                “Nothing! It’s just Mitch was wearing these tight chinos that made his ass look amazing. I was done with my lab work, so I decided to take a leisurely stroll past him and admire the goods!” Rex protested.

                “How are you always so horny!” Noah sighed.

                “I know what I like!” Rex replied.

                “Well, that’s one mystery solved. Still, back to the topic of your equipment. I may be able to get you a job,” Julio said.

                “Say what?” Noah sputtered.

                “I can’t hire you myself, but Dr. Bradbury will be back in a few days. If I mention to him what you’ve created, I’m sure he’ll see the value of it. We might be able to use what you’ve created to help with our research,” Julio explained.

                “Wow… Well, I just made this stuff at home so I could talk to my brother, but if you think it will help, but to be honest, the actual mechanical stuff is the main hurdle, and that’s above my pay grade. I don’t even know how to get a microphone that can pick up sounds that soft, but if you guys have a solution, I think the software I wrote may help with isolating Mitch’s voice,” Noah said.

                “Fantastic. If all goes well, I look forward to working with you,” Julio said. He was grinning from ear to ear as he extended a hand for Noah to shake.

                Noah was momentarily taken aback. It wasn’t the gesture that caught him off guard, it was the smile. Julio was as awkward as they came, but in the few minutes they had known each other, he had begun to relax enough that other parts of his personality began to show through. His smile was so warm and inviting that Noah was suddenly excited by the prospect of working with him and not just for the money.

                "Ooooh. You’re blushing! So that’s your type!” Rex cheered.

                “What? No! Shut up,” Noah sputtered.

                “Don’t hide it. Go tap that nerd ass! I called dibs, but I’m sure there’s enough for both of us!” Rex said.

                “Shut. The Hell. Up,” Noah hissed down at his mite-sized older brother.

                Julio was trying to stifle a laugh, but he was also blushing bright red. “Should I… take this out?” Julio asked as he pointed to the earpiece he still wore.

                “PLEASE!” Noah croaked.

                All Julio could hear was Rex cackling as he pulled the earpiece out, and then it was silent. Julio shook his head and chuckled and then handed the device back to Noah.

                “Here. I do hope to work with you. I’ll let you know when I hear back from the professor,” Julio said and extended a hand once more for a shake.

                “Great. Thanks. Yeah. I’ve got your number. I can send a text later or something,” Noah stammered as he reached out and shook Julio’s hand.

                “Send a dick pick!” Rex cheered.

                “Please. Just shut up,” Noah hissed into his earpiece.

                “No!” Rex shouted.

                Noah flashed an apologetic grimace in Julio’s direction, gave an awkward wave goodbye, pocketed Rex’s compact. and hurried towards the door. Meanwhile, Rex was still having the time of his life inside his small enclosure.

                “Was that really necessary?” Noah hissed into the earpiece.

                “Yes! I’m your big bro!” Rex said.

                “Big! I’ve got belly button lint bigger than you!” Noah sassed back.

                “Irrelevant! It’s my job to make your life awkward and to see to it that you get trim on the reg!” Rex cackled.

                “Well mission one complete,” Noah grumbled.

                “Now to help you slob that nerd knob!” Rex laughed.

                “How the hell does Simon put up with you?” Noah sighed.

                “He just sticks me in his dick when he’s tired of listening to me,” Rex replied.

                “You must spend a lot of time there,” Noah replied.

                “As much as I can!” Rex laughed.

[First Chapter] || [Previous Chapter] || [Next Chapter]

[rentumblsstuff]

Stacy headcanons? Since I love the way you write her

OOOO YAY UHHH LEMME SEE

My biggest headcanon for her is that Melissa (TGWDLM, Hey Melissa) is her cousin. She’s not a serial killer but she does have a little bit of a screw-loose like her. She also loves cats (and as opposed to being all serial-killer-y about people being animals, she’s really just into petplay-)

That connection being established, I think her family is rich! In Miss Holloween (a couple scenes were read in one of the fundraising livestreams for Cinderella’s Castle), it’s established that Stacy goes to college at Vassar in New York and that is not easy to get into and not cheap, so they’ve gotta have a bit of dough ykwim??? And in Hey Melissa, it’s stated Melissa flew all her friends in, and paying for 3 peoples’ airline tickets can’t be cheap. So……… They’re well-off.

DOM.👏 ENOUGH SAID.

She wears vanilla perfume!

Neurodivergent (and is very unaware of this) and cheer is one of her special interests! She’s also involved in the dance team at Hatchetfield High and could go on an infinitely long rant about the history of any given genre of dance (cause “what kind of a dancer doesn’t know that stuff???” A lot of them, Stacy… a lot of them.)

She also LOVES Sanrio and is secretly a huge fan of “girly” animes. She’s always wanted to bond with Richie over their shared love of Japanese culture but they were never really allowed to interact before Max “went missing.” Her favorite anime is Kakegurui and she tried to learn how to play card games because of it.

She was THRIVING with the whole e-girl look in 2020 and that’s usually how she dressed when she didn’t have to wear her cheer uniform. She WOULD HAVE been bullied for it if that’s not what everyone else was wearing too.

She’s got double d’s and this headcanon is PURELY because of the Stacy’s Melons thing from Abstinence Camp

In the future she experiments more with her hair because now she can do so without fear of getting bullied

Her favorite colors are baby blue and pastel pink.

Back to Stacy attending Vassar, I think she majored in women’s studies. Cause I don’t think anything else suits her better.

She’s had a crush on Richie for a while and hasn’t acted on it because she’s worried she’ll get bullied too, he’ll get bullied harder than he already does, or that her approach to flirting/asking him out will be too forward and creepy because she’s been told she comes across that way by other boys in the past.

Tw in this paragraph for SH; When Richie first admits to her when they start dating that he struggles with his mental health, she kisses the scars on his arms that he shows her.

If she had to be claimed by a LiB I think it’d be Blinky. She has a lil bit of stalkerish tendencies that he would appreciate. (Steph is Wiggly-claimed and Brenda is Nibbly-claimed just for reference in my head :])

If the NPMD cast was in a polar opposites AU where they’re all the opposites of themselves I think Opposite!Stacy would essentially serve the same function as Ruth, but she’s not role swapped with Ruth if you get what I mean.

SADIST. Paddles and clamps and shit dude. All her sex toys are super cutesy and aesthetic too. Definitely owns a couple tails.

I think with guys she’s dated before, they’ve done stuff but never gone all the way, so she’s technically a virgin. None of them could match her freak anyways 💅 she likes hearing about Steph’s hookups though; living vicariously through her best friend is fun and she totally doesn’t feel like an animal scratching at its enclosure to get out whaaaaaaaaat???

Trying to think of a wholesome one to end on hold on-

Her favorite fruit is pineapple because she learned that there’s an enzyme in it called Bromelain that breaks down proteins, so when you eat pineapple, it eats you back. She thinks that’s sick as fuck.

She watched Tiger King three times.

OH and her favorite app on her phone is Pinterest. She’s OBSESSED. Her boards are all perfectly organized, not a pin out of place.

There’s 20 headcanons :) thank you for reading !!! <3

[randomfoggytiger]

React: "Return to Me" (from the POV of Someone Averse to RomComs, Part VII): Scars and Hearts, Dining and Dashing

We're back, let's go!

**Note**: Editing later, brb.

Bob is deterred from further work instructions by his workers' "we got it all done" even if they don't know what it was they got all done. It's time to clock out, let them live.

The new enclosure's done-- Sydney gets a new cage, woo.

Some guy named Fennington is going to do the speech and apparently that's mock worthy. Forgot who that was, maybe old man at the party (in Part I) or one of the boardroom guys (in Part II?)

"Elizabeth would love that, huh?" Charlie quips.

"She would've loved this."

"You did it."

"Took me long enough."

Love how Bonnie Hunt sets aside time for characters to celebrate each other-- the restaurant, the bowling alley, and now the construction completion. It makes this world feel homey, lived in.

Charlie picks up that Grace is playing at something; but he thinks it's long-term teasing rather than her being scar-shy. To be fair, no one but she and her family (and Megan-Bonnie and her husband-- who are practically family anyway) know about the scar thing.

The mock turtle soup line DOES play into this but not directly as Charlie asserts: "This is a game that all women play just to reel us in."

And that could be true-- for the women Charlie surrounds himself with, who want to play rather than settle down. But Grace isn't like that; but he doesn't know she's not like that. And he's worried about how hard Bob has fallen for her, especially how quickly.

"Well, it's working."

"You are so sad."

Bob calls Charlie Sammie Sosa-- brb, gotta research him because the kids went HAM and chased his pal across the park. ...'Kay, so he was a Chicago White Sox player big enough to be on a baseball card. That explains that, though I'm outta the baseball card loop (and baseball.)

Megan-Bonnie still insists that Grace tell him about the heart surgery; and is adoring of her chaotic, salt-of-the-earth Joe man.

Bob's getting prepped for "the talk" Grace promised-- which includes messing up the microwave over and over to make popcorn.

He does know how to make popcorn, guys.

He does.

He says so while grabbing the popcorn back out to rip off the plastic wrapper he'd forgotten to take off.

He brought up the writeup on his wife's tribute coming up.

The magic fingers worked: the popcorn will now pop once the safety guidelines have been followed. A miracle.

I guess affectionately slapping your dog off the couch is the next order of importance. I mean, he's a dog who likes it, so that's kind of tempting.

Enclosure talk time. Bob's proud and relieved and feels like a weight is off his back. And a bit of closure as well....

3/4 angst mark here we COME.

Grace understands and compliments him on his hard work.

"Yeah, but it's been worth it... to make Elizabeth's dream come true. At least I could do that for her."

"I'm sure she's very proud of you."

That's such. an amazing compliment.

Unlocked: Bob will remember that.

"Thank you, Grace." DD, perfect line delivery: a breathy exhale more than a word. A sentiment instead of a sentence. Validation and understanding.

Grace is saved by the bell (the microwave timer); and Bob reads the room, backing off and giving her space to recuperate.

And, of course, this is when Grace stumbles across the letter.

Her letter.

I knew this plot point was coming, here we go.

A furthering of the gag: Bob burns his hand on the hot popcorn... in a bowl?? Bob, you put the popped microwave packet in a bowl???? Are you okay--

They're all burned and Bob's discouraged.

Bob--

Bob, what.

Bob's spraying the popcorn demons away. Please tell me that's-- IS THAT WINDEX.

What's peak comedy about this is the scene's done in complete silence other than the kitchen banging and spritz sounds, perfectly cutting back and forth with Grace/Minnie's unraveling revelation upstairs.

Grace reads the paper, sees Elizabeth's death date, and starts making gruesome connections.

Yuuuuuuuuuuup, she just saw the letter.

Yuppity yupperoo.

She books it, making up a babysitting excuse.

Bob tries to help put on Grace's coat even if she's already whipping it on herself. It's the little touches that, to me, are unintentionally hilarious and also really endearing.

She's wheelin' outta there even if parts of her bike are breaking; and both of them are chattering-- she to avoid conversation, he to engage it.

Bob's as perplexed as any reasonable man would be. Maybe she smelled the popcorn upstairs, BOB.

He trails her out, maneuvering the bike down the steps and catching a few extra seconds with his gal pal. Bob is still chattering, wanting to lighten Grace's stress as much as possible.

All his solutions and questions are brushed away as she zooms off.

He's smitten... but he's also thinkin'.

Survivor's guilt kicking in.

"What was God thinking??" got a chuckle out of me.

Megan/Bonnie is all for transparency and honesty but can't say the complicated truth herself. Great characterization.

Joe walking in and knowing someone died and misinterpreting everything and wanting to fight Bob is both why Megan loves and wants to strangle him.

Megan blurts it out.

Joe: "He's not married? ...Oh, okay." That's good enough for him.

Joe's great.

Grandpa is making plans for Grace to go alone to Rome since that's what she thinks will make it easier for Bob to process.

It's the day of reckoning.

Bob pops in, greeting both of them cheerfully; and charmingly adds, "Hey Gracie, close your eyes and don't open them until I tell you to open them."

Marty gives her some advice-- the strongest character gets the hardest challenges-- doing his best to uplift her by twisting lemons into lemonade.

Bob got her a new bike because her other one was a bunch of busted bolts. Ooooooooh, isn't that always how it goes in movies? Make it just that gut-punch a hair tougher, why don't ya?

A touched and pained cry-- I like it, Minnie Driver, I like it a lot.

Bob even made a trumpet noise to celebrate.

Bob I'm sorry I ever doubted you if our journey led up to this trumpet noise.

Those chipmunk cheeks of happiness won't last, Bob. Enjoy your mood while you may.

"You okay? I was worried about you last night."

"I'm going away."

"What?"

"I'm going away."

"Why?"

Minnie/Grace reveals what she didn't have the courage to tell him sooner, leading up to her admittance of surgery last year.

Bob's radar fears are up; but he has no idea what's coming. (But WE do, heheheh.) His posture is slightly turtled back: stomach tucked in, shoulders hunched, preparing for the worst (nice acting chops)--

but EXPLODES forward in relief at the heart transplant news.

He flings out the quickest joke he can think of that's farthest away from his true fears: "I thought you were gonna say you were a man or something." Which is the least detached way of expressing unbearable relief.

Then he immediately jumps back like Minnie/Grace feared he would: "Am I hurting you??" His face then cycles from worry to panic to lessening anxiety ("You're okay now?") to saturating, processing relief ("You're fine. You're healed."); and, finally, to mild but reasonable reproof ("You could have told me that....")

Apparently, Tumblr's decided I've had too much fun and is making me cut off there.

Will continue as soon as I can.

Thank you for reading~

Enjoy!

[jovialjuggernaut-draws]

I posted 741 times in 2022

493 posts created (67%)

248 posts reblogged (33%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@jovialjuggernaut-draws

@drones-art

@the-alice-of-hearts

@jovialjuggernaut

@forevercloudnine

I tagged 507 of my posts in 2022

Only 32% of my posts had no tags

#riddlebat - 224 posts

#batriddler - 200 posts

#riddler - 189 posts

#batman - 142 posts

#bruce wayne - 110 posts

#edward nygma - 94 posts

#the riddler - 93 posts

#edward nashton - 78 posts

#the batman (2022) - 55 posts

#edward nigma - 50 posts

Longest Tag: 137 characters

#also im in a discord w lfwrites and. she said this was also sent to her so like. not really inclined to respond to a prompt sent en masse

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Literally ran to ur blog as soon as I could pick my brain back off the theater floor to post comprehensibly what r ur thoughts I am so AAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAA

oh my god no thoughts im screaming

holy shit

1) eddie was SO horny. the whole time. he kept up a boner in every fucking scene. that man was the horniest hes ever been. i think he came in his pants when he got cuffed. AND THEN STARED BRUCE IN THE EYE AFTER sticky pants and theres his fucking Beloved watching him hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

2) the arkham breakdown.......... he fully believed bruce would fall in love with him then and there........... this really was the same eddie as batman forever he had the same exact pair of glasses and he was just as convinced one conversation would drop that man to one knee ring in hand

hed practiced that speech so many times but never saw past his heart eyes BRUCE you could have done something there!!! YES hes unhinged but now hes unhinged AND has your voice replaying eternally in his head digging at him hhhhhhhhhh god i love bruce making these men worse

3) Batmobile.... Sexy.

4) Bat boots...... Sexy.

5) Selina owns no good wigs and thats so funny. shes wearing the 5 dollarest wigs she could find

6) bruce punching gordo. bruce and gordo besties. this was a buddy cop comedy.

7) bruces shirtless scene being his fucking conspiracy board scene.................... if eddie had seen THAT fucking CHRIST heda been all over him like jam on bread i tell u hwat

tangentially bruce and eddie the same man. stalkers. creeps. standing there silently. watching waiting etc. love when theyre similar makes me fuzzy inside

the fact that bruce just instantly guesses the right thing to find the next clue so many times he and eddie think EXACTLY the same way theyre on SUCH a wavelength!!! the same fucking wavelength!!!!

anyway my brains fucking scattered and i need time to process and im so fucking hhhhhhhhhhgghh

i gotta write i gotta draw i gotta cosplay eddie in his lil arkham outfit w his shitty collar i need to learn to sing ave maria i love that man with my whole heart and soul i cant believe i wasnt kicked out of the theater i got so many compliments on my eddie jacket

296 notes - Posted March 5, 2022

#4

WHO ELSE LOSING THEIR MINDS TONIGHT

328 notes - Posted October 12, 2022

#3

himmmmmmmmmm

397 notes - Posted March 6, 2022

#2

today.... i am thinking about....

bruce taking the rats from eddies apartment home bc theres no one to take care of them w eddie in arkham and he looks up absolute mountains of rat care info and gets them an absolutely MASSIVE enclosure, fucking floor to ceiling, 5-6 levels, different stairs and platforms etc to get to each level, different chew toys on every level, and theyre fat and happy and he sometimes w take one out to sit on his shoulder and nibble at his hair when he needs a Rubber Duck for a case

and maybe also he goes to visit eddie in arkham once in a while and updates him abt how the rats r doing and its just that little connection between them like hes given the rats a better life as a proxy for edward and

anyway. bruces new pet rats.

601 notes - Posted March 15, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I find your power to rewrite history (create random bondage edits that get so high on google images that multiple people believe the Riddler just regularly wears rope under his clothes) to be awe-inspiring, and everyone should follow you if only to hear the next words of a prophet. What is the new fanon, wise one?

bruce wayne trans

835 notes - Posted August 5, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[akampana]

16 cutoria but in a vampire/werewolf au?

ANON LOOK WHAT YOU DID ITS 6716 WORDS LONG/lh

16 “I didn’t want to tell you like this, but I have no choice.” Werewolf AU Cú Chulainn x Arturia Pendragon

________

“You’ve stalled for too long, brat.”

The she-wolf dropped into the clearing without a sound, her experienced paws padding across the forest floor as lightly as the beating of butterfly wings. Scáthach was a creature of grace, even as a large canine. Her hunts were nothing short of elegant either, carried out quiet enough such as not to disturb the night. It was no wonder at all that she was once the Alpha of the pack.

The new Alpha was not so. Though the runs he was tasked to lead were mostly just as productive, he was rough and arrogant, hunting larger prey while scorning rabbits and smaller faunus. While the pups enjoyed being handed larger game whenever he came to the den, his chosen prey’s strangled cries always alerted nearby animals to go running. In winter, such conduct put the whole pack in danger of going hungry.

Despite that, it was only Scáthach who ever told him off, for there was no one else quite as strong as the large grey beast that was bestowed the honor of being their leader.

“You know what snow does to the rival packs, Cú,” hummed the wiser wolf as she circled the hubristic pup. She was never in favor of putting him in the lead just yet, but she had served her purpose, teaching him all that she knew. She didn’t doubt he had the prowess. He just lacked the responsibility.

“They have been seen closing in on our territory, now that prey runs scarce. You’ve been lucky, bringing in as much elk as you have thus far. But how will you maintain that while defending the territory, hm? Pull a miracle and find some loose sheep like you did last winter?”

Her pup-turned-leader snorted, shaking his snout as he stalked away. “This another attempt at getting me a mate, old hag?”

The she-wolf bared her teeth at the new alpha, batting his snout with her paw. “A mate shows power and longevity, you know this. Fionn may not have been the best father to you, but he brought you brothers and he brought you safety.”

“I ain’t taking Medb,” Cú snarled back, his fur standing on end at the thought. “So shove it. I’m heading out. Tell Ferdíad I can’t make it to game night.”

Without another word, the alpha wolf bounded off into the trees faster than the human eye could follow. He leapt past hills, his paws crunching snow beneath him, careless of the little prey that scuttled about. They were done with today’s hunt. Even Ferdíad's litter could go to sleep completely satisfied.

The wolf dodged through the thick vegetation mile after mile, until the paths he marked out for the younger wolves were no longer in sight. Although he doubted the den mother would approve of him going so far out into their territory alone, he was the alpha now. His decisions would no longer be questioned.

Finally, he came to a cave: an old abandoned bear den, that lesser beings avoided though its owner no longer lived there. His sharp ruby eyes darted to his surroundings, making sure he wasn’t followed. Then, he entered the den, as he had done several times before, and came out the cave’s other end.

Only Diarmuid knew about his hideout, and he’d like to keep it that way. As long as the beta kept this little secret within the pack territory, Cú could keep her safe.

The large canine made his way past a few evergreen trees ‘til the humble farm came into view. Sure enough, there she was in the middle of the fenced off enclosure, sitting amongst her sheep while the lambs fed on the last of the grass.

Here was Scáthach’s little “miracle”: a shepherd that had seen Cú’s starving figure at the edge of her farm last winter and purposely left her fence gate open. To this day, Cú still did not know why she did it, but her generosity got his entire pack through the harsh season.

In return, he’d secretly kept foxes and wild wolves off her farm, making sure the lesser beings knew better than to encroach on his personal territory.

At least, that’s what he did as a wolf.

Cú returned to his little cave, snarling as his fur receded into his skin. The alpha curled onto the ground, biting his own paw to stifle his groans as the bones within him shrank and contorted into a lesser form. His snout receded into a straight nose, his fangs into passably human sharp teeth. Without his night vision, Cú reached blindly for the small duffel bag tucked into a small hollow and pulled out an artificial coat and a pair of trousers.

What snuck out of the enclosure was no longer a grey apex predator, but a tall, muscled man with flowing dark hair: an ordinary hunter, no more special than the ones that frequented the northern town.

The bell chimed as he walked through the entrance, signalling the blonde shop owner of his arrival. Cú tried not to smile too widely as Arturia Pendragon popped her head through the staff door, but he knew that was a futile effort.

“Hey, shortie.”

“Good evening, Cú,” replied the woman, snorting at his favorite nickname for her as he hung his coat on the rack. “I have your usual ready...though I still cannot understand why you prefer coming here rather than the supermarket. You know Arthur takes our supply every Monday. He's down there with Arash the rest of the week. Isn’t that a little closer to home?”

Right. She still thought he lived in town. It was easier than saying he lived across the woods in a village even more secluded then hers which would be impossible to get to from here without a two hour drive unless you were a wolf that could cross the forest terrain in a fraction of time, so he didn’t correct her.

The Irishman shrugged and sank into the rug before the fireplace. “Mutton’s better fresh. 'Sides, the grocers don't stock your pies. Ya really should sell 'em, Arturia, I'm tellin' ya.”

The woman scoffed, lightly nudging her friend to the side with her foot. As he scooched over, she set down a food tray between them: one with two glasses of whiskey and two slices of pie.

"Flatterer," she accused, handing the bigger slice to Cú anyway. He wolfed it down in seconds.

The first time he showed up at her door went much the same way, just a lot more awkward.

It was the day after his wolf came home with her sheep. He'd already knocked on her door to thank her before realizing how stupid that idea was. What was he meant to say?

Hey, uh, thanks for letting me hunt your sheep to feed my pack. My best friend's wife just popped a litter of hungry babies, hehe gotta feed them young am I right? Oh, by the way, I'm the wolf from yesterday, nice to meet you—Yep. No. not gonna work. This was a terrible idea. Stupid, really. He was stupid. Why did he even come here again?

Then she swung open the door, freezing the man in place with his mouth half open.

"Can I help you?" She asked, but before he could even reply, he was greeted by snow. Everywhere. All at once. Down his spine and into his underwear.

Now, he wasn't as susceptible to the cold as the common human, but she did not know that. Before he could even get a word out, he was sitting in front of the fire to dry while she ran to get him something warm to drink.

A change into Arthur's clothes and some hot coffee later, he was being served pie at the dining table to make up for his unexpected snow shower.

"Again, I sincerely apologize for that. My brother and I haven't had the chance to fix the porch roof. We just moved to this old farm last month,” rambled the short Welsh woman as she handed him a hot towel.

After some hesitation and observation on the stranger’s way of dress, she asked, “Did...did you come here for lamb?"

Little did she know, she'd just handed Cú the perfect excuse. Plus, he now knew exactly how to show his gratitude.

"If I fix up yer roof would ya give me a discount?"

Over the next week, Cú would come to the Pendragon residence to make repairs. It wasn’t just the roof that needed patching up.

It turns out she and her brother were alone in the world, cheated out of their inheritance and everything else they owned by their older sister. All that was left to them was this old farm and cottage, which neither had visited since they were kids. Their half-sibling even threw in three truckloads of animals as a joke, since she had all the riches in the world to spend and a special budget for humiliating the two green-eyed blondes.

Still, the twins were educated. Brilliant, even. And though they were clumsy when it came to most household repairs, their experience tending equine stables for their late father translated rather well to animal husbandry. In a month, they had made enough to pay the bills and get them a secondhand laptop and working Wi-fi. The next month saw Arturia getting her own computer.

Half a year down the line, Cú was sure that the Pendragon siblings would move out, but here they stayed, still maintaining their humble farm though it was no longer their only form of income. Neither of them needed the burden of moving back to London, with its ridiculously high cost of living and impossible rent rates. They’d grown fond of the land they actually owned and its peace.

That suited Cú just fine, because he had grown fond of Arturia.

Cú still visited, even after all the repairs had finished. His nephews were always hungry, and while the mutton did not satisfy the little pups’ bloodlust as much as wild game, it made up for the deficit while the children were in human form. But even Arthur knew his bi-monthly purchases were just an excuse.

He was there for the coffees, for the brief moments his fingers would brush hers. He was there for the whiskey, the cheap bottles they shared before the fireplace while she told him everything she could about the city. He was there to make fun of her posh way of speaking, to pull the ribbon from her hair, to bring her fruits and berries and furs and let her read him books.

He was there for her.

Scáthach’s training only increased in intensity as the months passed, and between his day job and being the new alpha, Cú had little time left for himself. But what he could spare, he spent with his favorite person, even if it was just watching her tend her sheep from a distance while he kept foxes out of her territory.

Cú tucked a lock of blonde hair behind her ear, happy to see she didn’t even flinch, but plagued by the thought of his wolf. He was the pack alpha now, and that meant a shitload of other responsibilities that would keep him from her for as long as he held that title.

“That’s all yer charging me, shortie? Nah, can’t be,” Cú resisted, pushing a few more bills across the table. “That’s way too cheap, even if yer sweet on me.”

Pink-faced, Arturia slid the packed meats back across the counter, reached behind her, and procured a carefully wrapped circular dish which she placed in a bag.

“Take it,” she insisted, hooking the bag onto his fingers. “We’ve been ridiculously lucky to not get any wolves and foxes considering how much higher into the mountains we live compared to the rest of the town. There is more than enough left for Arthur and I.”

Cú peeked into the extra bag, catching a glimpse of a familiar crust. God, she was far too kind. He’d reject the offer, but he’d always wanted to bring some shepherd’s pie back to the pack. This was his chance.

“Ya sure?”

“Absolutely,” she confirmed, holding open the front door as Cú made his exit. “This is the least I could do for you, Cú. You have helped make us feel home in this far-off place. I would even say that you are family but—”

“Go out with me,” the werewolf interrupted, shoving all his reservations into his internal dumpster. He didn’t know how yet, but he was gonna make this work. “Come on, I know ya like me, shortie.”

Tiptoeing, Arturia snaked a hand into his hair and pulled him down to her level, planting a small kiss on his cheekbone.

“It is...a little more than ‘like’, I believe,” the woman admitted bashfully, trying to mask her embarrassment by awkwardly sneaking back behind the door. “...Eight tomorrow?”

Cú bit his lip, glad to hear confirmation on what he already knew. She loved him back. She loved him back. God, he better not be looking like a child just handed some candy.

“Nah, this morning weekend. This weekend morning. The morning of this weekend,” he fumbled, rewarded with a short chuckle from her end. “I wanna have a whole day with ya for once, shortie. I’ll make it worth yer time.”

There was a spring in his step as the alpha bounded across the forest that night, carrying the bags carefully with the handles between his teeth.

If only he weren’t so distracted. Then he’d have noticed the salivating spy that watched him leave the abandoned bear den with a fresh pack of meat.

Snow fell heavily across the landscape on Tuesday evening, covering the last of autumn’s colors in a blanket of pure white. After dinner time was always idle for Cú, so he spent it sharing Arturia’s gift with the kids and spinning his phone in his fingers.

Instinct told him a storm was coming, and though it would probably have passed by Saturday, Cú wondered if he should try and reschedule his anticipated date. He wasn’t too worried about Arturia, since Arthur said he’d be coming back up to the cottage tonight, so at least she wouldn’t be alone all through it. Plus, the twins really did have a lot of food in stock. In comparison, he and his pack were the ones less prepared.

His sharp ears perked up as a familiar presence entered the grounds. The alpha’s brow knitted, as the slight smell of blood entered the air, but if the little ones weren’t alarmed, it must not have been such a serious wound.

Diarmuid stepped into the kitchen, still pulling on a wool jacket and shaking the snow off of his dark hair.

“Evening, Alpha,” the handsome man said softly, taking notice of the pie that sat in front of the pups.

“Oh for fuck’s sake, just call me Cú. Yer no less my little bro now than ya were before, Diar,” he corrected, sliding a plate his way. “Try that.”

The amber-eyed man approached the meal like a cat did water: hesitantly and suspiciously. Thankfully, as soon as he had a taste he had about the same reaction as Ferdiad’s kids did. Which was...basically nearly crying tears of joy.

“Where did you say you got this?” Diarmuid asked, snatching up another helping as Cú smirked. He’d not give the answer up that easily.

The alpha’s red eyes landed on his brother’s shoulder, finding a clumsy bandage just sticking out the collar. At once, he herded the beta into a different room, far enough from the pups that they couldn’t hear.

“The hell happened to ya?” Cú demanded, pulling the shirt collar to the side to better gauge the severity of the wound.

“It’s a warning, Sétanta” Scáthach answered for her son, entering the log cabin from the back door. “The rival packs were closing in on the border. I doubt their side of the mountain is as scarce as they make it out to be and yet they have the gall to encroach on ours.”

“Our territory’s guarded. That’s why we moved Fergus, ain’t it? To cover all bases. Den in the center with the pups, Me and Diar in the North, and dad in the South. Fergus’s gang to the west, and we got the town in the east and all wolves know not to mess with the towns,” Cú shot back, unconcerned.

Red eyes much alike to Cú’s observed him with kind care, seeing the wolf pup and alpha both. The new leader was strong, but he was arrogant. In a way, he was a perfect successor, for she knew he could kill her should the need arise. However, too loose he was with laws; too untethered by the rules that kept their kind safe.

“It would be a show of strength to take a mate. To let all know that our new Alpha has his right hand—”

Cú waved his arms dismissively. “The hands I do have are more than enough to drive them off. Ya know that. Now, are we stocking up for the pups or what? The storm ain’t gonna delay, I can smell it.”

22:24 Read

Cú paced the main den like a dog kept in an enclosure for far too long, tossing his half-charged phone while he awaited her message.

Four days. It had been four days since the blizzard started, piling snow on top of snow day after day as if it was trying to beat some arctic record. The log cabin’s ground floor was completely sealed in. They’d been on generator for the last four hours, listening to the weatherman on the radio as he promised for the third time that tonight the storm would finally pass.

Diarmuid was curling up with his nephews, keeping them warm in wolf form as they slept. Cú thanked every god he knew that they went on a hunt before the blizzard hit, else the kids went hungry. He and Diarmuid hadn’t planned to stay at their brother’s but the weather hardly gave them a choice. Their cottage was a lot further off.

22:24 Read

Cracks appeared on the glass as Cú glared into his mobile’s screen, hoping for some sort of change. But no. There sat the same exchange from an hour ago, the same bloody text just very loudly broadcasting to him the worst news of today.

One of our generators broke down. I need to move the power to the barn.

For real? Are you okay, shortie?

Arturia?

Hey, ya can’t just leave me hangin like that.

Arturia?

22:24 Read

“Sétanta, would you just put the bloody phone down?!” Ferdiad screeched, snatching the device right out of the alpha’s hands. “I said we were gonna talk, how the hell are we supposed to talk when yer not even givin’ me the bloody time of day!”

The low growl that escaped through the alpha’s bared teeth shook the cabin like an earthquake.

“What,” Cú barked, grabbing his precious device back while his brother stood his ground. “If this is just another lecture about how Scáthach was right, I should have just fucked with Medb and get it over with, I ain’t hearing another fucking word.”

22:24 Read

“No, you piece of—” Ferdiad inhaled sharply, his nostrils flaring with frustration. The older man grabbed his brother by the shoulders, shaking him like a rattle. “Cú. Listen to me.”

As Diarmuid shushed them both, Ferdiad pointed outside, to where nothing could be seen but heavy white ice.

“Do you seriously think Scáthach wants you to mate that pink-haired priss? ‘Course not. She just needs ya to set down roots,” the delta wolf explained, looking over the alpha’s shoulder to his three sons. “You are the strongest of us, Cú, but nothing ties ya to this territory. For all the outsiders know you could be planning to move and make your own pack.”

The younger of them grimaced as Diarmuid nodded from his perch with the pups.

“I ain’t going nowhere,” the new alpha emphasized, shrugging out of his brother’s touch.

“Well they don’t know that! What if this whole time, the only reason they haven’t advanced is cause we’ve been keeping close watch on our borders, hm? Hell, you and Diar have basically been here the entire fucking week, they probably think you’ve bloody moved on. Wouldn’t surprise me in the least if they took advantage of this stupid storm to move into our territory, now that you’re not guarding the north!” Ferdiad argued, baring his fangs at his superior.

22:24 Read.

Cú’s heart stopped, the poor phone in his hands near crunching in his grip. No. The Pendragons didn’t live too far from the town. It was fine. She was fine. Just snowed in.

No werewolf was crazy enough to go near town in their canine form, not even the rival packs. There was too much risk of being found out. Simply no way.

Unless...

22:24 Read.

Unless they didn’t have any food in store. Unless they were looking for some easy pickings. Maybe a couple of sheep that wouldn’t be missed, stolen from a farm just a little out of range of the nearby village.

A farm with a single, vulnerable caretaker, forced to share a heater with her flock.

22:24 Read.

Cú frantically pressed the call button and put the phone to his ear, shushing Ferdiad before the delta could return to making his arguments. Three rings later and the line cut. He tried again, heart dropping like deadweight when it gave the same result.

His footsteps became panicked as he walked round in circles, scrolling upward to a contact that was here only for emergencies.

“Arthur,” Cú said through the phone, hearing the familiar voice of his blonde friend coming through the line. “‘S Arturia there with ya?”

Suddenly a quiet bang resounded throughout the room. A gunshot, deafened by distance and snow. Any false sense of security Cú still had shattered with the sound.

“The hell?” Ferdiad exclaimed, rushing towards his children to comfort them. “There can’t be any humans crazy enough to hunt in that storm.”

The alpha was no longer around to hear him.

Arturia never held any hate for her half-sister. Not even when she banned her and her twin to Ireland with nothing left to their name. Despite everything, Arturia thought her punishment was not too cruel, for she still had Arthur. She still had a degree under her belt, and in a way, Morgan had cast her far away from a destiny she didn’t even want to fulfil. Arthur never wanted to take over the mining company and neither did she.

The first few weeks were difficult, but they learned to live on their own. They made a humble world for themselves that wasn’t tied to their prestigious last name. It was simple. But it was good.

She’d admit it got a little lonely with just the two of them around, but...then there was Cú. Cú, who helped them fix up the house, who came bringing drinks or food they could all share by the fire. Cú, who helped them get set up at the market, who got them their regular buyers and still made himself a frequent customer. Cú, who made up excuses just to see her, who scorned the couch to lie down on her lap while she read.

The cabin was always a little warmer when he was around. It was home when he was around.

She should have asked him out sooner.

The wolves came crashing through the windows, raining thick glass all over her flock. There were seven of them. All massive beasts with fur of brown and grey, glowing eyes and bared fangs. In their view, she may as well have been just another sheep, helpless in the face of the predator.

The air was a cacophony of distressed bleating, panicked hooves and growls as the sheep tried their best to escape their fate. Amidst it were her own hoarse screams as a brown beast sank its fangs into her arms, her frantic kicks to its belly doing nothing to throw the large beast off. Desperate green eyes searched the floor for her gun, which sat useless under her first attacker, a chestnut wolf that had ignored smaller prey and gone straight for her.

Her own blood dripped down onto her cheeks as the wolf above her crushed her limbs between its teeth. Arturia’s eyes prickled with tears as fresh cries escaped her lips, grieving not from the pain but for all she was going to lose. So soon, she had to say goodbye to her new life, her brother, to any chance she ever had at a happy ending.

The woman felt her predator’s claw stomp onto her throat, stifling her screams as its teeth dug into her shoulder. Salt fell freely from her eyes as the beast tore through the muscle. Was this how she was going to die? Cold and alone amongst the carcasses of her flock? Was this how Arthur would find her when the blizzard did subside, torn to pieces and left scattered all over the barn floor?

Arturia shut her eyes, unwilling to let her last sight be that of her killer. Instead, she thought of Arthur, hoping someone would be there for him through it all. She thought of Cú, she thought of the lovely blue dress she was supposed to wear when she finally went out with him. She’d been waiting for the day to finally wear it. She knew he loved the color blue.

As her lungs began to burn for air, her final thought was a prayer to a God she didn’t know she still believed in. If she were to die today, then let it be the last pain her two favorite boys would ever experience—

Suddenly, frigid oxygen entered her lungs as her attacker was tackled off of her, leaving Arturia hacking and coughing as she gasped for breath. She sat up dizzily, gripping her injured shoulder with bleeding arms as she tried to get her bearings.

The pack had abandoned the few sheep that were left, hounding instead the new arrival: a wolf easily larger than her from head to tail, with grey fur that glistened in the little light. Its glowing red eyes seemed aflame with rage as it sank its teeth into her attacker’s throat and snapped its neck like a toothpick, showering all the surrounding dogs with their leader’s blood. Even then, the grey wolf did not stop, jumping at the next canine and carrying out its execution.

The woman limped to the exit as fast as she could, bracing herself against the biting cold as she made her way back to the cabin. Behind her, the barking continued as wolf fought against wolf, the red-eyed one beating off the remaining four while the frightened sheep ran wild with fear.

Arturia slammed the cabin door closed behind her, bolting every lock there was with frostbitten fingers before sneaking a glance back into the barn through the window. There was barely anything to make out amidst the pouring snow and the painful throbbing in her head, but all she knew was that somehow...the newcomer was winning.

She didn’t know what kind of divine intervention must have occurred for that wolf to come save her, but...all it did was buy her a little time. Even if she was safe from predators in the cabin, the freezing cold would take her before morning. Maybe she could start a fire, but she’d lost so much blood, she could barely even stand.

After much struggle to ignite the tinder, the injured woman slumped onto the rug before the fireplace, taking comfort in the hearth’s warmth as the blizzard raged on outside.

A loud crash brought her attention behind her, to where stood the red eyed wolf, blood staining the grey fur on his shoulder. Two emotions gripped her heart at the same time: fear and recognition. As the beast stalked its way toward her, she finally understood why he looked so familiar.

It was the young wolf from last year, the one who sat right outside her fence, neither coming in to attack her flock, nor fleeing at the sight of her. She’d always wondered what became of him after he ran off with a couple of her sheep. He had a lot more weight on him compared to back then, enough that she knew it was hopeless to try fighting him off. If he’d somehow defeated the entire pack in the barn, an injured human like herself didn’t stand a chance.

“It’s you, isn’t it?” she croaked, her shattered vocal chords barely able to keep up. “Please just make it quick.”

Almost as if he could understand her, the wolf whimpered and flattened his ears against his head, lowering himself as he approached.

For the second time that night, Arturia shut her eyes as the wolf caged her broken, shivering figure to the floor. She stiffened, anticipating another bite as he brought his head closer.

Then she felt a warm tongue lick her cheek.

Arturia’s eyes snapped open in surprise, locking with increasingly familiar ruby irises. The wolf lay its head on her chest, gently resting on top of her as it whimpered. Suddenly, it began to whine, jerking back and forth as its body contorted itself into a different shape. One that was smaller, one that hadn’t a silver coat of fur, one that no longer crushed her underneath its weight.

Soon it wasn’t a wolf at all that Arturia held in her arms, but a man. Large hands that she recognized traveled up to her cheeks, his thumbs stroking away her tears. Her heart warred with itself, overtaken by pain, relief, fear, security. But all of that could wait.

Cú leaned forward til he was kissing her, molding his mouth into hers til he had her lips memorized.

“Cú,” Arturia whispered, when they separated to breathe, her injured arms wearily looping around his neck. “You’re…”

“Sorry,” The man shushed her with another deep kiss, enveloping her shivering figure into his embrace. “I didn’t wanna tell you like this, but I have no choice. I’m—”

“The wolf from last winter,” she interrupted, her mind struggling to put together the pieces. “The…wolf who came to save me. You were here with me this whole tim—mmh”

The man’s fingers snaked behind her head, supporting her as tasted her mouth once more.

“Ya saved me first.”

There was a desperation in the way that he moved, the way he touched her cold skin. He didn’t want it to be like this. He wished their first kiss would have been somewhere warm. He wanted to take her out to the lake, hold her hand…not drag her into his world of hunt-or-be-hunted.

Cú pressed his lips to her neck, regretting the multitude of wounds she sustained there. If only he were here earlier. If only he were faster. This would never have happened if wasn’t so damn careless.

The werewolf pulled down her scarf and jacket, exposing the deep wounds the rival pack leader had left at the junction of her shoulder and all over her arms.

They bit her.

Cú pursed his lips, placing a few more kisses to her temple. He hoped it would be enough. He hoped she would understand his feelings for her. He hoped she would forgive him.

“Let’s get ya patched up, shortie, okay?”

Cú borrowed some of Arthur’s clothes for the second time, leaving her momentarily to redirect the power back to the cottage instead of the barn. There were nothing but carcasses to warm over there now. After that, he no longer left her side, nursing her wounds the best that he could and keeping her close to share his body heat.

“You’re gonna turn,” Cú said seriously, hugging the one person he loved more than anything to his chest. Werewolf saliva was powerful, and so their kind never endeavored to sink their teeth into humans unless they were sure to kill the target or intentionally make them part of their pack.

“How soon?” Arturia answered back, turning to look up at her saviour. All the fear in her eyes had disappeared, replaced with melancholy and trust. Of course she was upset. Creatures of his world had just gone and stolen her new life away.

“The next full moon,” Cú answered regretfully, “Tomorrow night.”

Cú brushed her bangs out of her face, letting his ruby eyes clash with her emeralds. “Ya scared?”

The man didn’t even know why he was asking. But what were you supposed to say to someone who was just dragged into a hidden world she knew nothing about? How was he supposed to tell her she’d be riddled with bloodlust for the rest of her life, that she’d crave the hunt, that she’d yearn for the night? How was he supposed to tell her she had to give up the one family she had left to keep him away from the life of a hunter?

“Should I be?” Arturia answered, deceptively calm. No doubt, she was thinking of the heavy price she had to pay for surviving.

Cú knew Scáthach was coming. He could feel it. As soon as this bloody storm let up, the she-wolf would put her nose to the air, track him down to this cottage, and put down the rival pack’s unintentional new member before she even had the chance to morph.

Not if he could help it.

“Ya said l was like family to you, Arturia, did ya mean it?” he asked, his heart racing like crazy. His favorite person nodded into his chest, fiddling with his fingers and palm.

“Then...d’ya wanna be that to me, forever though?” he stuttered out, suddenly losing all manner of confidence.

Arturia got up to face him. “How do you mean?”

“Damn yer really gonna let me get into the specifics, huh? Right,” he mumbled, scratching the back of his head despite himself. “Look, for us, there’s just one. One mate, for the rest of our lives. You just feel this...bond with them, ya know? Strong enough ya can’t bear to be without them. If ya let me, I want you to be that for me."

"Cú, are you asking me to wed you?" she asked back, confusion settling in the crease between her brows. "But we haven't even gone out yet—"

"Ya were gonna marry me eventually," he shot back, flicking the hair outta her face. "I'm quite the husband material, dontcha think? I bring ya food, I eat your pie—my family likes them by the way—I'm handsome as fuck, not ta mention, charming, what’s the harm in speeding things up a lil’?"

The werewolf grinned at her, trying to cover up how bloody nervous he actually felt.

“And also my pack won’t kill ya. Cause you know, technically ya belong to the rival pack, because they’re the ones that bit ya. But also yer all that’s left in that pack, after tonight and…” he paused, cupping her face with his hands, “I'll still court you, 'Turia. I want to. I'll give ya a good life. Swear.”

Arturia’s lips quirked upward for a second, knowing how crazy adamant Cú could be with following promises.

"Alright,” she confirmed, accepting his kiss. “I just...I worry about Arthur."

"So you finally show up, hm? Disappear for a while, why don't you? Doesn't matter whether or not the rival pack comes to—"

Scáthach inhaled, sniffing her grey wolf pup as she circled him. Something had changed about her son, she could feel it.

"There is no rival pack," Cú answered, grinning like a madman. “Only two new additions to ours.”

"What?"

“Last winter, it stormed just like this, didn’t it? No game, not even the smallest of hares. We were considering crossing over to the other side of the mountain, yeah?” Cú asked back, eagerly goading out the she-wolf’s response. Scáthach stared at him intensely, her red eyes glowing in the light of the full moon.

“You came back with sheep—”

The grey wolf nodded its head in a near-human fashion.”They were gifts. From them.”

Cú yipped, calling for the two concealed wolves to come into the den.

One was large and long, with fur as black as the bark of trees. He came out of the woods like a moving shadow, paws of coal shuffling through the snow. Even Scáthach, who was a midnight color herself, thought she was looking straight into a beautiful void.

The second wolf was smaller. She had a pelt of pure shining white, purer even than fresh snowfall. If not for the black nose that nuzzled into their alpha as she came close, she would be completely missable in their landscape of ice.Though of shorter stature, she strode like a king. Scáthach hadn’t a doubt that if this newcomer were born a wolf, she’d be an alpha herself without question.

The two newcomers stared at the she-wolf with matching emerald eyes, each set of orbs sparkling with the colors of the aurora. Siblings. Strong ones. But any wolf could tell these two were not born with beast’s blood like the rest of them, their footsteps were too unnatural. Too clumsy. They were made beasts, and by their scent it had been the doing of the rival pack.

As her son pressed his snout to the white wolf’s nose, several things finally clicked into place. Cú had gone and done what she’d been pestering him to do for the last few months and had eliminated the pack that had been encroaching on their territory in one fell swoop.

Cú had chosen his mate: a human convert who’d inherited their rivals’ land the day she was bitten. A human who they just so happened to owe a great debt for getting them through last year’s winter.

As Cú’s beastly eyes stared her down, Scáthach had to admit... her bratty pup finally had her at a total loss. She couldn’t be mad about anything, couldn’t even nitpick at the tiny size of his chosen queen or her tar-coat brother. Gosh, Fionn was gonna get a lotta kicks outta this.

“Names,” the she-wolf demanded, circling the twins while Cú gave her a shit-eating grin. Then, she turned, looking back just once to signal for them to follow.

Side by side, the new wolves and the alpha made their way into the central den. Arthur was immediately swarmed by Cú’s brothers. Arturia, by Ferdiad’s pups.

Later, when all had settled back into human skin and a fresh change of clothes, Cú looked about his pack. Fergus and Medb had come to visit, with all sorts of food in tow. Diarmuid excitedly showed Arthur around the wolf den while Fionn and Scathach kept to their own corner. Ferdiad and his litter sat right in front of the brick oven, eagerly awaiting the shepherd’s pie the twins had prepared.

The alpha leaned down, resting his cheek atop Arturia’s blonde head.

“We never did get to go on that date,” she whispered lightheartedly, leaning her head onto his chest. “I even had a dress prepared.”

“Mmmmm that so?” Cú shot back, grinning, “I just think since we are “mated” we really ought to get to mating if ya know what I—”

Arturia’s palm snapped onto his lips before he could complete the thought. Suddenly, they were wrestling each other to the floor, the older wolf chuckling like a madman all the while.

“Kidding—ooofghmhm--kidding, Arturia, I’m kidding, jeez,” he managed to get out, placating his blushing mate as he grabbed onto her hands. The Welsh woman panted, from her seat atop him, her green eyes looking everywhere else but into his red orbs.

“Eight tomorrow?” Arturia asked, though she knew full well Cú was coming home with her that day.

Not even caring about the teasing whoops resounding through the wolf den, Cú pulled his mate down for another hug.

“Yeah. I’d like that, shortie.”

[shortkingvi]

It's ray coming to u live from the zoo so to keep in theme, zookeeper Blake and visitor ilia who fuckin biffs it bc Pretty Gorgeous zookeeper is Pretty and Gorgeous and needs first aid

Ray this was CUTE to write, I had so much fun with it and I hope you like it too and also I hope the peacock has finally left you alone.

Ruby loves zoos, Ilia hates them. Ilia loves women. Blake is a woman. Blake works at the zoo. A perfect storm, if only Ilia could get her damn foot out of her mouth.

If there were three things Ilia Amitola hated in life, it was animals, children, and crowds.

So how, you might ask, would such a person end up at a zoo of all places? A zoo, where crowds of children came to look at animals and make way too much noise over some lions sleeping most of the day away. She didn’t get it, never would, but Ruby wanted to go for her birthday and as one of Ruby’s oldest friends, she would brave the sun and the kids and the crowds for her.

But god, did she hate it.

They had been at it for four hours now and Ruby showed no signs of slowing down, dragging their entire group across the zoo at random, choosing which animals to visit next with seemingly no rhyme or reason. They’d just been in the Australia section before Ruby decided that suddenly, crossing the park to get to Africa had jumped to the top of her list.

“Big cats, you guys!” Ruby had said when the group groaned simultaneously. “The big cat exhibit is the best one in the whole park, and we gotta go now before the crowds get too big!”

Looking around at the droves of people, Ilia wasn’t sure the park could handle the crowds getting any bigger. It was 2 in the afternoon; they had been there since the park opened at 10 and Ilia was over it. She shared a look with Emerald, who was equally as exhausted, before letting her shoulders slump and following along at the back of the pack.

They walked for a while before coming up on a crowd of people looking down into an enclosure. Walking up to the railing, Ilia found herself staring at a group of cheetahs lounging in the sun. She watched them for a while, waiting for them to do something as children screamed around her.

Nothing.

Still nothing.

Zoos suck.

“Stupid cats,” Ilia grumbled, stepping back from the railing to find a bench to sit on.

A voice rang out from behind her before she could turn. “Not a fan of the big cat exhibit I take it?”

Ilia turned around and came face to face with the most beautiful woman she had ever seen. Long black hair tumbled down her shoulders, standing out starkly against her dusty brown zookeeper’s uniform. Her golden eyes shone with unexpressed laughter as she smirked at Ilia, waiting for a response.

“No, um, I… they’re cool. I guess. Are they- are they yours?” Good one Ilia, girls love when you stutter your way through the first sentence you speak to them.

“You’re asking if I own the cheetahs?”

“...Yes?”

The zookeeper threw her head back and laughed. “No, I don’t own the cheetahs. I’m their handler though, so I guess in some ways I do.”

“Oh that’s uh, that’s cool,” Ilia muttered, rubbing at the back of her neck and letting out an awkward laugh. “I’m just gonna find a place to sit and wait for my friends. Bye.”

Ilia nodded her head jerkily at the woman, turning once again to leave and immediately tripping over a nearby curb, sending herself sprawling to the ground.

The zookeeper rushed over to her side, holding her arm and helping her sit up slowly. “Oh my god! Are you alright?”

She’s touching me. Oh god, she’s touching me and I just made myself look like and absolute klutz in front of her!

“I’m, yeah I’m fine. Just a stumble.” Trying to save face was becoming more futile by the minute.

“No you’re not, you’re bleeding!”

She was right; blood oozed out of Ilia’s scraped knee, just below the hem of her black shorts.

“Please,” the zookeeper said, keeping hold of Ilia’s arm. “Let me help you clean up. We have a first aid kit back in the ranger’s station.”

Giving her a reluctant nod, Ilia stood slowly and let herself be guided away by the woman, walking into a small office just a few metres away. The air conditioning hit her full blast, making goosebumps rise on her arms as she shivered softly.

“Alright, take a seat there and I’ll clean you up.” The woman’s voice shook Ilia out of her stupor as she turned and pulled a first aid kit off the wall next to the door.

She knelt down and began to wipe at Ilia’s knee with an antiseptic wipe, causing her to hiss. “Oh come on,” Blake teased with a wink. “You look like you’re tougher than that, what with all those muscles.”

Ilia blushed, looking away. Gods, why couldn’t you have let me fall head first so I could have been unconscious for all this and not make a fool of myself, she pleaded silently. After a while, and despite Ilia’s prayers, Blake completed her - very conscious - first aid on her new patient.

“Looks like you’re all set,” Blake said, flattening a bandage over the last of the scrapes on Ilia’s leg. “Anything else I can do for you?”

“Nope! Thanks! Is there, uh, anyway I can thank you?”

“You can start by telling me your name.”

“Oh! It’s Ilia. Ilia Amitola.”

“Wanna follow that up with your number? You know, in case you have any more questions about… cats. Of all kinds.”

“I have a feeling you’ll be the death of me…”

“It’s Blake, Blake Belladonna. And I have a feeling you’re right.”

[girlgrouptrash101]

Dating Poly!LipSoul

Request: “Dating Poly!LipSoul and Poly!ViSeul, please! I'll wait until Olivia is of age to request HyeWon😅”

A/N: a sad life pretending LipSoul aren’t divorced while I was writing this smh

- C

I don't think you're ready for the chaos that is about to ensure when it comes to LipSoul I really don't

Did someone order one tsundere and a girl that makes dinosaur noises for attention??? no??? well you're getting it anyway <3

both you and Jinsoul's favourite pastime is embarassing Lippie, her reactions always make it worth it

she literally stands there like... I don't know these guys as you and Jinsoul scream vine references at each other from across the supermarket

all the other shoppers are just there like 👁️👄👁️

but you both know Lip loves you guys anyways, the big grin on her face a complete contrast from her playfully scolding words

When Jinsoul's hungry and she tries to deafen you and Kim Lip with her aegyo... like damn let's just eAt okay we GET IT FJDJDJ

(but neither of you will ever admit just quite how cute she is,,, though you and Lippie are ever so whipped)

Kim Lip going super mom mode whenever you or Soul gets sick

"hey guys what's up- OH MY GOD DID YOU JUST COUGH BABY WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME JINSOUL SOUP NOW GO GO GO GO"

she just doesn't like seeing either of you unwell, and with her undivided attention, you and Jinsoul always get better in no time :]

Your dates are rare enough due to work and schedules, so you three tend to go on more adventurous dates when you can to make the most of your time

one of your favourite locations is probably the zoo, all of you just getting way too excited to see the animals jfjdjs

(ft. Jinsoul stretching her neck and sticking her tongue out to imitate the giraffes when you finally reach their enclosure)

the best bit is when Lippie loses her reservations and just enjoys herself, taking both yours and Jinsoul's hands and skipping around, getting excited whenever she sees one of her favourite animals 🥺

If you guys don't feel like going out, staying at home works just as well,,,, getting a takeaway and playing board games until like 2am also sounds like a fun time

except for when monopoly arguments almost ended your relationship... let's just stick to snakes and ladders or Uno or sumn oKay???

PDA is kept to a minimum until one you guys sleepy after a long day n then it doesn't matter who's watching y'all just tired and need hugs

speaking up hugs,,, Jinsoul just opens her arms and you two fall into her, girlie is the best for bear hugs

she also loves to be in the middle of your cuddle piles when she can be, nothing makes her happier than holding her two babies close

also you and Kim Lip being like let's not go wild with presents this Christmas okay??? gotta save??? and Jinsoul is like hehe yeah sure and then buys you both like a fucking planet each or something

but then you and Lippie save up to buy Jinsoul the new gundam she wanted and my god,,, the TEARS when she opened it 🥺🥺 soulie was just not expecting it at all uwu

CEOs of sharing each others clothes like what even is owning your own stuff

especially Lippie like she loves wrapping herself up in yours a Jinsoul's clothes, it makes her feel all fluffy and soft heheh

matching pyjamas that jinsoul picked out and Kim lip is like.... you really want me to wear that but eventually ,,, with enough of your pouting and Jinsoul's eyebrow thing she gives in hehe

baking dates that tend to be you and Jinsoul vibing and Kim lip having a panic attack every time you dAre stray from the recipe

but then it turns out good and she's like 💅💅💅 that was all me don't even know what you mean I made these myself xoxo don't be jealous

Roadtrips!!!

you guys like to go on little trips to the most secluded places where you know there aren't that many people around so you won't be disturbed

n you book a nice lil hotel room and spend a few days exploring the area, you guys love to go to little seaside towns especially

late night walks on the beach, the cold sea water just reaching your toes as you three walk hand in hand

then getting up early to head out and buy the most fresh fruit from the local market, living in your own little world with the two girls you love the most

It's often been discussed that, in the future, you three would definitely want to live in a little lodge near the sea, with the most beautiful seaside view and gorgeous little garden

for now though, you know they're priority is their idol career and you support them 100% through that

plus you get free tickets to every loonaverse concert and cinema theory event etc I mean what more could you ask for

Also be prepared Choerry is basically your child now I'm sorry I don't make the rules that's just how it is

Kim Lip CEO of being really reserved and then sometimes just out of nowhere comes out with how much she loves both of you so much and you and Jinsoul are like 🥺🥺🥺

ft Jinsoul saying ‘I Love You’ 3474985309457 times per hour

overall 10/10 best girlfriends would reccommend lipsoul for top tier cuddles and endless uwus

NSFW From Here:

Either of them can top if they really want to, it just depends on the mood or who's feeling what

usually Jinsoul takes the lead, but she isn't very rough, just super duper loving

will literally spend forever kissing all over you and Lippie, just looking at you both with the most loving eyes because she's so whipped

Kim Lip would be more likely to top when she's pissed off and wants nothing more than to just hear you and Jinsoul scream her name to calm her down

Kim Lip's neck and collarbones are her most sensitive places, mark her up there please and THANK YOU

for Jinsoul, it's her thighs, nothing drives her crazier than you or Lippie marking her up there, it just makes her legs shake from the sensitivity

Jinsoul being so fucking loud like don't ever do shit at the from unless you want every single member to hear you guys

one time Jinsoul went out and bought a strap on,,, completely red faced the whole time and so embarrassed to bring it home

but when she showed you what she bought, Kim Lip was like "come on then let's try it out" like girlie was completely unphased

and that was when Lippie found out what her new favourite toy was oop

Let Jinsoul sit on your face and she will be ever so happy, she gets so whiny,,, especially when you grab her thighs and just let her use you to get herself off

ok I really think we need to talk about Kim lips hands now I mean,,, not that you wouldn't mind them being wrapped around your throat but like.... you wouldn't mind them being wrapped around your throat

I feel like Lippie in public would either be super reserved or such a tease, her hand inching further and further up your thigh until either you or Jinsoul would be squirming in your seats

just depends on her mood tbh,,,, soulie wouldn't initiate anything in public but would definitely find it hard to sit still if you or Lip started something

aftercare can be anything from showering, to a bath, to just being pulled in to a cuddle pile by a rather sweaty, yet very blissed out Jung Jinsoul

[sortasirius]

Prompt: Dean drives Sam to the library routinely & pretends he hates it (but Sam knows he has a library card). Dean's started seeing a new face in the library, always reading books about spiders, but he doesnt how to break the ice. Until one day, he finally sits down and invites Cas over to his place to see his pet tarantula. When they get there, the tarantula is missing. Both are afraid of spiders: Cas was only researching for an assignment & Dean only got a tarantula to impress Cas.

This is literally the funniest prompt I have ever received, I literally laughed for a minute straight when I read it.  Thank you so much, this was such a fun one to write, I hope you like it!

Words: 2063 (what can I say, the spider sparked my creativity)

Dean pretends to hate the library.  Someone had to put up the front of being the cool intimidating brother, and they both knew that wasn’t going to be Sam, even though he was about a foot taller than Dean now.  No, that didn’t make Dean self-conscious.

He takes Sam to the library at least once a week, Sam insists he studies better when he was there, Dean rolling his eyes and relenting, sprawling out in one of the hard wooden chairs and pretending to be bored on his phone until he could sneak off to peruse the stacks himself, where he was sure Sam wouldn’t see him.  He reads Tolstoy and Vonnegut and Dostoyevsky and Salinger, even dipping into those Hunger Games books that everyone was so unto a few years before (his review? They’re pretty good, make him feel like he’s a fast reader).

It’s an easy routine, something that Dean will never in a million years admit how much he enjoys.  The quiet shelves that all smell like dust, pencil shavings, and old books are peaceful, something that makes him feel like he can breathe a little easier, that life is a simple as sinking down onto the worn, stained carpet, his back being poked by a metal divider between the S’s and the T’s and losing himself in the inky words printed on the page.

One Sunday in the dead of winter, Dean’s in his usual hiding place in the back corner of the library.  It’s a little darker here, but when your eyes get used to the lower light, it’s easy to read.  He’s lost in the world of Jack Kerouac’s On The Road today, and is so immersed that he doesn’t even notice someone looking at the shelves next to him, right up until they trip over his feet in the aisle and crash onto the floor with a thud loud enough to shake the books stacked towards the ceiling.

“Shit!” Dean cries in a stage whisper, surprised, but not surprised enough to use a regular speaking voice, he isn’t an animal, this is a library after all.  He scrambles to help the person up in the semi-darkness and then is face to face with a pair of wide blue eyes.

“Sorry,” the stranger whispers, trying to arrange his clothes, which Dean notices fit the attire of a college professor more than a student, and this guy looked like a student.

“S’no problem, my fault, I probably shouldn’t sit in the middle of the aisle.”

The guy nods, smiling a little shyly, and then hurries off before Dean can even catch his name.  Damn.  He was good looking too.

Dean sheepishly moves out of the aisle and to a small table which, though more in the light, is also open enough that Sam could see him if he walks by, and Dean still wasn’t sure he wants to deal with the smug look that would take up residence on his brother’s face if he saw him reading.  But man, this book was just a little too good to put down.

Surprise surprise, he does get caught.  Sam taps him on the shoulder with a wide grin, his bag hooked over his shoulder, clearly ready to go.

“So much for hating the library huh?”

“Ok, whatever, I just come here for the pictures.”

“Kerouac isn’t exactly kid’s stuff.”

Dean rolls his eyes and gets to his feet, looking anywhere but at Sam.  He tucks the book under his arm.  He had to check it out and finish it tonight, it’s just that good.

They walk by the guy that had tripped over Dean earlier. He’s hunched over his table, his hands flying across a notepad he has next to him, several books about spiders spread out around him.  Dean makes a mental note of it.  He was going to talk to that guy if he saw him again, he’s always up for a good challenge, and spider-boy looked like the perfect one.

He does see spider-boy again the next week, when Sam simply has to study for a midterm he has coming up.  He’s wearing thick glasses with dark frames this time, his nose an inch from the diagram of a garden spider he’s copying.  Dean tries to work up the courage to go talk to him, but there’s something so taboo about interrupting someone when they’re so clearly in a groove, so Dean watches him from the non-fiction section, observing the way his hair brushes the edge of the book he’s staring at, and the way he cracks his knuckles every so often when his hand starts cramping.

Dean decides he’s being a freak.  He goes back to his little table and picks up Tortilla Flat by Steinbeck.

It goes on like this for nearly two months.  Dean sees spider-boy every week, who’s name, he learns, is Cas, always at the same table, always working on something to do with spiders. And every week, Dean swears he’s going to go talk to him, but he has no idea how.  He’s never been this nervous to talk to someone, but there’s a little nagging voice in the back of his head, what if this guy thought he was an idiot? What if they had nothing to talk about?

So, he does what he does best: he hatches a master plan at his little table in the back of the library.

He’s a genius.

“You’re an idiot,” Sam sighs, staring out the window of the Impala at the looming brick building of the library grew closer.  Dean had put his plan into action the day before, and was eager to get to the library and ask Cas to come home with him, see his prize.  He had insisted that Sam get a ride home with his girlfriend, and Sam had been only too happy to oblige.

“This’ll make a great story for Eileen I guess.”

“This is going to work.”

Sam laughs again.

“Like I said, you’re an idiot.”

Dean doesn’t waste time.  The second he steps inside, and smells the familiar old-book smell, he heads straight for Cas’ table.  Cas is wearing his glasses today, and is reading a book called The History of the Arachnid, he’s leaning back on his chair so two legs were off the ground. A rebel.  Dean’s kinda guy.

Dean plops down across from him, and Cas lowers his book in surprise.

“Hi, you probably don’t remember me-”

“I see you every week.”

This catches Dean off guard.  Cas arches an eyebrow, and then laughs a little.

“I’m Cas.”

Dean knows this, the librarian, Mrs. Covere, is a total gossip who loves Dean, and he had wheedled it out of her three weeks prior to hatching his plan.

“Hi Cas, I’m Dean.”

“Nice to meet you, Dean,” Cas smiles at him, clearly intrigued, and Dean isn’t going to disappoint.

“Listen,” Dean starts, leaning across the table with his hands clasped in front of him, “I see you reading a lot about spiders.  And, though there are other books out there, I was wondering if you wanted to stope reading about them and come meet a real one.”

Cas pales by a few degrees, and Dean rushes to explain so he doesn’t come across like a total freak.

“It’s just.  Uh, well, I just got this guy, and he seems pretty cool, and you, uh, seem into spiders and I was just wondering if you, like you totally don’t have to, I don’t want to make it seem like, anyway, uh, the offer’s there?  I guess…”

He trails off, kicking himself for rambling so much.  That was not part of the master plan.  But Cas, though still pale, smiles at him again.

“Sure, as long as you promise not to murder me.”

Dean grins back.

“Scout’s honor,” he raises his hand in salute, “You can ask Mrs. Covere, she’ll vouch for me.”

The ride over to Sam and Dean’s shared apartment with Cas is quiet.  He doesn’t seem to feel every silence with words, and Dean’s the same, he likes that.  He wasn’t sure he could talk much anyway, he would probably say something that would ruin the surprise.

Dean jumps out of the car and hustles to his door the second he parks, and Cas follows, still with those wide, interested eyes, his reading glasses tucked carefully into the breast pocket of his dress shirt. Dean had never seen anyone dress so formally all the time, he would have to ask him about it, after his amazing ice-breaker.

Dean heads straight for the enclosure the man at the pet store had suggested to him, looks in the tank…and his stomach falls into his shoes.

There is supposed to be a tarantula that Dean had purchased in that tank.  There is not a tarantula in that tank.

“Ha ha,” Cas is standing next to him, also looking into the clearly empty tank, “Good one.  Where did you hide it?”

Dean’s throat is very dry.  His eyes flick from floor, to wall, to ceiling.  Can they even get on the ceiling?

“Um.  This isn’t a joke.  He, uh, got out I guess.”

Cas eyes widen with palpable fear, he takes an automatic step toward the door.

“Oh hell no, nope no, I gotta go.”

“Wait!  You’re the only one here with any idea at all what to do!”

Cas gapes at him, Dean feels like he’s hyperventilating, suddenly feeling like there was maybe something on his back.

“What do you mean?  I don’t know anything about-”

“You’ve read nothing but spider books for the last two months!”

“It was for my term paper!  I hate spiders!”

“Well I do too!”

“Then why do you have one in your house?!”

“Because it was my master plan!  I thought it would impress you!”

Cas splutters, half laughing.

“Wait,” Dean continues, “Why did you come with me if you hate spiders?”

“Because I wanted to impress you,” Cas cries, still looking all around the room for their missing spider friend.  Dean follow his eyes, searching for the traitor.  He was supposed to get him laid, not be a cock block.

You’re gonna have such a cool home after this too, he thinks bitterly, you do this to me, and I’m going to give you to Charlie.  She loves all kinds of weird pets, you’ll be living the dream, I don’t deserve this man.

Yes, he’s talking to a tarantula in his head, these are desperate times.

He looks up at Cas, half desperate, half terrified that Cas was going to walk out the door and start going to the library across town.

“Listen, please help me find him, and I swear I’ll take you on a normal date after.”

Cas just nods.

It takes them the better part of an hour to track down the spider, who is hiding in the corner of the living room by Dean’s guitar, and then ten minutes of rock, paper, scissors to decide who picks him up. Dean loses, damn paper, and doesn’t immediately yell when it crawls on his hand because this is a delicate operation and, even though he hates spiders, he actually didn’t want to freak the little dude out.

Dean calls Charlie immediately after he’s back in his enclosure, and tells her she needs to come grab her new pet ASAP.  He and Cas sit on the couch, staring at the lighted enclosure, trying to make sure the tarantula stayed in place this time.

Charlie shows up ten minutes later, bouncing on the balls of her feet, and happily scoops the spider into a “travel carrier” as she calls it. Dean carries all the spider supplies out to her car, and as she straps him carefully into the passenger seat she calls,

“Say bye to Aragog!”

Dean and Cas wave as she drives away, Charlie eyeing Dean from her rearview mirror.  He knows he’s going to have to give a full report later.

“I have to say,” Cas says quietly after a minute, “That was the most fun I’ve ever had on a first date.”

Dean’s heart skips a beat.  

“Just how I drew it up.  You hungry?  Let’s go get something to eat.”

Cas slides his hand into Dean’s as they walk towards his car, and Dean can’t help but think he owes Aragog a drink or two.

[raywritesthings]

I Want

My Writing Fandom: Arrow Characters: Oliver Queen, Laurel Lance, Sara Lance, Tommy Merlyn, Raisa, Quentin Lance Pairing: Laurel Lance/Oliver Queen (pre-relationship/childhood crush) Summary: Young Ollie gets a change in perspective when he overhears a girl named Laurel's wish list to Santa Claus. *Can also be read on AO3, link is in bio*

Oliver bounced on the balls of his feet, trying not to look too impatient. Good kids probably weren’t impatient, after all. But he was so close to getting to tell Santa what he wanted!

Every year, either Raisa or Mrs. Merlyn took him and Tommy to the mall to read Santa Claus their Christmas lists. This year, it was Raisa accompanying them. She stood to the side by all the other parents, smiling when Oliver caught her eye. He gave a little wave, then refocused his attention on the line. There was one girl ahead of him and another in Santa’s lap who was reciting her list off the top of her head. And it was a long one.

“I want a new dolly, too. The arm came off my last one. And I wanna pet. Like a shark or something cool. We went to the aquarium this year, and I got a stuffed toy, but it’s not the same as a real one.”

Santa laughed but Oliver wanted to groan. Could she hurry up already!

“And,” the girl added, “I want my own room. My sister, Laurel, she stays up reading and it keeps me up. That’s naughty, right Santa?”

“Sara!” The girl ahead of him in line shouted. She had blond hair like her sister, but there were some darker shades mixed in that were almost brown. It was a pretty blend of colors, Oliver thought to himself, watching the back of her head.

“Honey,” a man with bedraggled hair cautioned the girl in line, who tucked her head in and fell silent.

“Well, I’ll see what I can do, young lady,” Santa said. “Now then, how about a nice big smile?” They took the picture, and the girl named Sara hopped off Santa’s lap and ran immediately for the little train ride set up not too far away.

The second girl went up to Santa. Oliver thought she was probably about his and Tommy’s age, but he’d never met her. Laurel was lifted onto Santa’s lap and got an actual list out of her coat pocket.

“Now, you must be Laurel,” Santa said. “And I’m sure you and your sister have both been good girls this year. What would you like to ask me for Christmas?”

Laurel drew in a big breath and began. “For Christmas this year, I want Daddy to have the whole day off and for nobody to call in a one-eighty-seven or a two-oh-seven or a two-forty-six on the radio so he doesn’t have to leave while we open presents and eat dinner. I want all of his cases to be solved so he can keep being the best detective in the whole wide world. And I want all of Mommy’s students to turn in their work on time so she doesn’t worry about grading them. And I want her to get the—” she squinted at her list. “—Estée Lauder perfume she keeps reminding dad she’s running out of.”

Back where the parents stood, Oliver noticed the man that had brought his two daughters give a start, which he snickered into his scarf about.

The girl named Laurel wasn’t done. She and her sister had that in common. “I don’t know if Sara’s been good at all, but I trust your judgment, Santa. And it’s her birthday, too, so I want her to get the stuff she told you because you have to get presents on your birthday.”

Santa chuckled. “Well, I’m sure I can make that happen. But what would you like for Christmas, my dear?”

Laurel blinked and looked up with wide, green eyes. “I thought about it a lot, but I already have a lot of toys. And I can get all the books I want at the library. Mom’s allergic to fur, so we can’t have pets. Our house isn’t big enough for a shark, and they aren’t pets anyway.”

“Perhaps not. But—”

“The teacher at school had us take home a card with another kid’s name and what they wanted for Christmas. I got Tim, and he wanted a new basketball, and we’re gonna buy it today. But I hope he gets other presents from you, too, Santa.”

Oliver looked down at his list with all the things he had written that he wanted. His parents could probably buy it all for him and then some. What was he asking Santa for it for if there were other kids who didn’t get presents at Christmas unless other people were buying them?

Maybe Santa’s business wasn’t doing very well, and that was why Laurel had been asked to buy another kid’s basketball. Maybe that was why all those other Santas at the stores had that pail to drop money in. 

“That’s very kind of you, Laurel. I’ll make sure to check my list for Tim,” Santa promised. “But was there anything at all you’d want for yourself? Big or small.”

“Well, maybe my own room would be nice,” Laurel said, a smile causing a little dimple to appear at the corner of her mouth. Oliver felt sort of warm all over seeing it.

Santa gave another big, booming laugh. “A new room might fit a little snug in my sack of presents, but I’ll see what I can do, young lady. Now then, you just keep smiling for our picture, hm?”

They took it, and Laurel hopped off Santa’s lap while chirping a, “Thank you!” She ran out of the little enclosure, and Oliver watched her go.

“Come forward, young man!”

Tommy nudged him in the back. “Ollie, it’s your turn.”

“Oh.” He hurried forward towards Santa, who smiled down at him. Oliver was placed in his lap.

“And what would you like for Christmas this year?”

“Uh…” Oliver looked down at his list again. A lot of what he wanted on it was stuff Tommy was asking for, too. All the movies and games, anyway. He wanted his own, but they could share, couldn’t they?

“I wanted a buncha stuff,” he told Santa, “but I don’t need it if other kids aren’t gonna get presents this year.”

Santa blinked. “Oh. Well, I don’t know that you need to worry too much about that—”

“I got money. If you need to buy more stuff for the elves to make the presents, or if you gotta pay them more for working more.” He knew it was called something, but he couldn’t remember what his dad had said. He tuned out most of what his dad said whenever they were at the office, content to sip his soda and watch the city out the big windows. Oliver unzipped the pocket of his jacket that held the paper bill that meant one-hundred and tried to pass it to Santa, but the old man closed Oliver’s hand around.

“That’s very kind of you, young man, but I assure you that I have everything I need at the North Pole. Now then, let’s see what’s on your list.”

Oliver didn’t see how Santa could be right if other kids had to ask strangers to buy their gifts for them, and he read off his list with much less enthusiasm than he had felt while waiting in line. Santa directed him to look at the camera that he mustered up a smile for, then he jumped off his lap and rushed out of the gated area. 

He ran right up to Raisa, who patted his cheek and said, “Mr. Oliver, do you still have your allowance?”

He patted the pocket to check and nodded. “How come Santa didn’t want my money?”

“Because Santa doesn’t deliver toys for money.”

“Then how’s he pay for anything?” Something didn’t make sense with this whole setup, but Oliver didn’t know what.

Raisa shook her head, smiling indulgently after him. “Why don’t you save yourself and Mr. Tommy a spot in the line for the train?”

“Okay.” He turned and walked over there, still stewing over it, and nearly walked right into the back of a girl. “Sorry,” he blurted, backing up a step.

She turned around, and Oliver realized it was Laurel, the girl who had been in line ahead of him, the girl who had said other kids weren’t getting presents unless someone else bought them.

“That was really nice what you did,” Laurel told him.

“You saw that?” For some reason, his cheeks started to burn and he rubbed at the back of his neck.

Laurel nodded. “There’s lots of toy drives in the city. They ask people for money if they can give it. My daddy calls it charity.”

He’d heard that word before. His mom and dad went out at night all the time for charity. Oliver was supposed to do that, too, when he grew up.

“Okay. I’ll ask my dad about it.” If Santa didn’t want money, he’d find someone else to give the other kids presents. Oliver didn’t think the other kids could all be on the naughty list; he’d made the nice list, and he knew he hadn’t been as good as he could have been this year.

The train stopped, and all the kids currently on it got off, Laurel’s sister among them. One of the workers opened the little gate he, Laurel and a few other kids stood by. “All aboard!”

They both walked in, Laurel picking a seat near the middle. Oliver hovered by her, looking back to see Tommy was only just getting his picture with Santa.

A soft thumping sound caused him to look back at Laurel, who patted the bench beside her. “You can sit with me if you want.”

“Okay!” He sat down quickly, trying not to feel too guilty that Tommy was probably running over right now to get on the train. There were still open seats behind them. “I’m Ollie,” he added, realizing he hadn’t actually introduced himself.

“I’m Laurel,” she said.

The train whistle blew, and together they were off.

[frogathy]

legacy in a nutshell in case you read so fast you can’t remember what happened

sophie is upset

why?

she can’t know who her biological parents are, which means she can’t get matched, which means she can’t get matched with fitz, which means NO ONE KNOWS YET because they let this issue sit and boil until the last seventy pages of the book

dex

dex

biana

biana and dex

biana and dex holding hands

bronte being a proud dad of the moonlark he tried to get exiled

sophie: he is the father

bronte: what

forkle: you are NOT THE FATHER

keefe being an absolute artist

ro

ro being an absolute unit

ro and keefe being an absolute amazing pair of comedic relief and distaster blondie

stina: cadence is ur mom

sophie: oh ok

cadence: no

forkle: stop trying to figure it out sophie

sophie: ok

sophie: jk still trying to figure it out

sophie:

sophie: tell me old man

forkle: no

sophie: i am going to hit you

forkle: ok

neverseen knows all our secrets but i mean it’s fine i guess

i guess they’re in space now, so that’s cool

also they’re wearing glowing crowns and stina’s mascot is a kraken

stina is actually rly lit now

sophie forgets to do things because she wants to be angry at her biological parents

fitz is panicky because she can’t find her biological parents HE DESERVES MORE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE HE DESERVES MORE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT THAN THIS PLEASE SHANNON IM BEGGING YOU HELP OUR BABY

lady fos-boss

linh and marella and maruca being queens

amy is just the coolest, as we all know

sophie? still has a broken?? ability?

she can be fixed but she doesn’t want to be fixed because she’s tired of being told she can be fixed

angsty sophie rebelling

keefe supporting the rebellion

sophie forgetting to do more things

sophie decides to do more things now because she realizes that forgetting to do all the things isn’t good leadership

fitz gets trickarood by toot father cassius into searching his memories for like weeks lol poor bb

wynn and luna can teleport and like to go into the gorgodon enclosure owo

sophie decides to stop being a rebel and let her abilities get fixed

the love triangle goes to london “for a few minutes” but sophie inflicts on gisela and absolutely DESTROYS THAT HOE but tam is forced to take her away😔😔

oralie??? is sophie’s??? mom??????? and she’s angry???

then fitz and sophie finally adress the problem they’ve had since day one and then he explodes and yells some and they break up and that’s right about when my heart shattered because he deserves more, like idk and idc who she ends up with but FITZ VACKER DESERVES BETTER

big showdown time, surprise surprise gisela still bein a hoe

king enki is a hoe too like wow man we knew you were a bitch but u rly gotta be that bitchy?????

anyways, keefe gets covered in goo and is like not ok and everyone’s like oh no so sophie runs away with him and figures out a new way to teleport

tam being the angsty king we all love to finally have back

glimmer?? is cool?

gisela still somehow manages to get away

.................hoe

at least king enki gets ABSOLUTELY DEMOLISHED

[jarofrebuke-transcripts]

Jar of Rebuke Episode 10 Unofficial Transcript

Season 1 Episode 10: Observations A

INTRO

The following audio recording is classified documentation for Case [audio distortion] with the Enclosure. Unauthorized access to this information will lead to immediate intervention. Progress further if proper clearance has been given.

DARIUS

Hey Jared! Uh… guess I called in at a bad time, huh? I just wanted to give a quick call to chat? Nothing serious, everything’s okay, don’t worry, I just want to check in. We’ve both been really busy the last few days, but I thought I’d see if you wanted to… I don’t know, grab lunch here soon? I know work’s got your schedule pretty full so we can meet up during your lunch break? I know the Waytooth has $1 pie slices around lunchtime, and their strawberry rhubarb pie is to die for. I think you’ll like it. Also, there’s a part of your birthday present I never actually got to give you? I kinda wanted to give it to you when it was just you and me, but we didn’t actually have any time to ourselves on your birthday? It’s nothing big, I could even just, uh, send it to you if you prefer. Anyways, just give me a call when you got the chance. Or text, that’s cool too. We could meet up whenever, as long as my dads know and give them a heads up, it’s fine. Well, besides Saturday. We have some maintenance that’s gotta be done and I already promised to help. So, any day besides Saturday. Um, hope you’re having a good day? Talk to you later.

JARED

I am such an idiot! Does Darius really? Uh, I mean, how long has he? I’m, I’m so dense! I got this voicemail this morning when I was in the shower. I thought about just calling him back but it felt… weird. I was a little concerned and Very confused so, well, I called Jamie for advice. She’s quickly becoming my go-to for, well, things like this. Literally all she did was call me a dense bitch and broke down for me what apparently was obvious and I… well, now I don’t really know what to do. So, Darius likes me. I mean, I guess it kind of makes sense. He did put together a party for my birthday. It was small, cozy really, but he really put a lot of thought into it, which he really didn’t have to. But that’s not necessarily romantic, right? It was on the Chapman farm, and there were all sorts of decorations and things to eat. Everyone that came bought something and it was really nice! Some were homemade dishes, others were things that people brought in from places in town. And it was all delicious. It wasn’t too big, which I was really grateful for. But there were quite a few people that I’ve learned to call friends. Including Holly and some of the folks that I haven’t really seen since the snipe hunt! And Jamie said that he wouldn't have put all of that time into making me a cake if he didn't really… well, it was actually kind of cute. He got all flushed when he presented it because the icing was sort of falling apart and, oh, shit, he likes me.

[Grove walks to Jared] Hey buddy. I don’t really know how I am supposed to feel or how to respond. I haven't really been in this sort of situation, at least not that I can remember. Ugh, gods, what if I'm a bad partner? No one’s bothered to come looking or reach out, or… I have to really think about it. But I don't know what to say to him until I figure it out. I have to get back to him eventually.

Hmm. Anyway, in other news, I brought up the moving shadows I have been seeing to Dr. Daman. Apparently it’s rather common to have stress-induced hallucinations like those, especially with my trouble sleeping recently. She recommended that I try sleep aids, but I’m not really sure on how I feel about that either. There’s nothing wrong with people that need them to sleep, that’s all well and good. But something about chemically forcing me to sleep? I don't know, it just kind of rubs me the wrong way, I don’t... [sounds of Grove pawing at something] Hey, what are you getting into over there? (sighs) Grove has been sniffing around the house a lot lately. He did that when I first took him in, which is to be expected, but he’s just kept sniffing around. It’s like he’s searching for something, I don’t, whatever. Dogs do strange things, that doesn’t exclude hellhounds, I’m sure.

(sighs) Speaking of the whole Darius thing, we actually got to go sledding a few days before my birthday too. It was really nice. It was a lot colder than I expected. I know, I know, that yeah it’s snow, it’s cold, but it’s different when the cold is outside of your clothes than when it gets literally everywhere. But I don't know, it was exhilarating. But in a really good way, not a “running desperately for your life” kind of way. Holly ended up Beaming Darius with a snowball, their aim is brutal. He flew right off the sled and into a snowbank and he came up covered in snow, looking like a snowman. I don’t think I've ever heard him laugh like that before. It was just so refreshing to be able to just live, to just exist with my friends for a little while in a way that distracted me from my own thoughts. Because when I get to thinking too much, I don't like what comes to my head. I think too much, for one thing, about work, about my nightmares, about this upcoming career day that I agreed to. If I do a bad job, which I’m sure I will, I’m going to let Anika down. The thought of that basically gives me hives. All of this stress led to Dr. Daman suggesting that I try medication again. I was hesitant, of course, but she said that if I don’t wanna try sleep aids I could at least try mood stabilizers or something. Last time I tried meds for my mood it did jack diddly squat for me. She suggested that we try a different type of medication and at this point I am willing to try pretty much anything to help with these thoughts and the mood swings. I hate being so unstable, I hate having no real reason to feel sad or anxious and yet that is all I can feel.

So I've started up another medication. They say it will likely take a few weeks to kick in, so we’ll just have to wait and see. And I can’t tell if this is just general anxiety or if I am anxious about the medication itself, too. Not like it can make things much worse right? [knocks] Knock on wood at least. I really gotta stop saying things like that, I know it will just invite things to get worse. Like I still keep catching glimpses of that shadow around my house. Dr. Daman is sure that it’s just stress. Mr. Zimmer doesn’t even think that it’s there. I know it is, I’ve seen it in my peripheral. Sometimes I see it behind me, over my shoulder in the mirror. I never see it for long though, just glimpses. I know it’s there, it’s gotta be, right? Mr. Zimmer says that it’s all in my head, that I’m imagining things. At least Dr. Daman gives a reason as to Why I would be seeing it, but Mr. Zimmer is sure that there’s other things I should be focusing on. Like remembering. We’ve started something called accelerated resolution therapy, or ART. He said it’s typically usually used in treating things like trauma, which he’s pretty sure isn’t my issue, especially since I don't even remember anything, but it is rooted in memory, so we’re trying it out. He basically makes me move my eyes back and forth, walks me through a scene, and I sort of relive it in my head. It’s used to rewire emotional responses, I think? But we’re trying to see if it helps me remember anything. And so far… nothing. Mr. Zimmer is fairly certain that I’m just not trying hard enough, but I’m trying as hard as I can, I just can’t remember anything. I think he got a little huffy with me after our last session didn’t bring up anything too terribly substantial to the surface, which I hated. Both his frustration and the lack of progress. So I did tell him about that sweet smell back at the school that flew me into a panic after smelling it? Smell is the sense most closely linked to memory right, so it’s gotta be something. He seemed curious about it and had me describe the smell. The faintest sweetness, a mild smell. It smells good, almost too good. The word that he used was an ethereal smell, which, sure, I guess. But how ethereal can it be if it causes me to break into a sweat and feel the need to run? He dismissed that question, took some notes, and then carried on to the next topic as if I hadn’t even mentioned anything. Nothing.

I don't even want to bring it up with Dr. Daman at this point. Recently it seemed like she steeled her resolve to help me and has been more active in figuring out what’s going on. But we've been at this for years now. I'm not sure what we could do that we haven't tried before. Unless I'm just not trying hard enough… No. I am trying my hardest to remember, but it just feels like I’m slamming my head against a brick wall more than I’m actually remembering anything. I touched on my nightmares again, but they both just chalked it up to stress with work and fitting in with the community. Which, you know, Dr. Daman used to be so supportive of me going out and mingling with those in town? But now, just so flippant about it. Like she couldn’t care less either way about it anymore. Whatever.

(sighs) I guess I should give Darius a call back here soon. I just have no idea what to say. I don't wanna change what we have, i don't want to lose what we have, but… i don't know. I’m not opposed to the idea of dating I guess? I just… we’re good friends, I really like being around him and everything, but just because I’m a good friend doesn’t mean I will be a good partner. I’m always so busy with work, and I have no clue what it means to be in a romantic relationship. And if we Were to date, what kind of relationship is built on so many lies? Yeah, sure, I try to usually tell at least a half truth or whatever when I can, but it’s still kind of lying. He doesn't even know the real me! Would he like me if he did? All this baggage and whatever else that I’d bring into the relationship? What would he say when he realizes I only have two years of real life experience. That I rebound from death with nothing to show for it other than more scars and some bodily discomfort. He’s asked about my scars before, the little ones on my hands and arms, mostly. But I think I've caught him looking at the ones on my face. I don’t… I don’t like it when people stare at them. And he doesn’t stare, but still. He’s taken notice. He’s asked what happened and I told him, oh, you know, general hazards of life! He chuckled at it, but I don’t think he fully bought it. He still seems concerned from time to time, but I think he just tries to help me keep my mind busy and keep me trying new things when I’m not weighed down by work. He’s… a great guy. A good cook, a great teacher, a great friend. When I’m low energy, he’s always down to just sit with me and not do much. When I want someone to talk to he’s always there to listen, and to chat, as long as he’s not busy with his work or his own classes, which did wrap up last month, so we’ve been spending a bit more time together. I introduced him to Jamie, it was a bit in passing, but they seemed to get along well. I was just showing Jamie more around town after getting lunch, we’d actually been heading back to my car when we bumped into him outside Mrs. Weddington’s Bakery. They were like two peas in a pod pretty quickly. I’m going to try to have us all hang out here soon.

(sighs) But I… I gotta talk with Darius one on one first. Gods, it’s so much easier to interact with the creatures that I study, to be honest. People are just [Grove starts growling] more complicated? At least for me. I don’t- [Grove knocks over something] Hey, hey, woah, what- what’re you getting into? What did you- [Grove snarls] Is that… a camera? When, when did that get there? Shit, are there more? [audio distortion] Uh, no, you know what? No. Screw that. This is my house, I am not gonna have this shit in my own house! [static rises then cuts off]

OUTRO

Jar of Rebuke is created and produced by Casper Oliver, who is also the voice of Dr. Jared Hel. Darius Chapman is voiced by VynVox. The intro is read by Vanessa Rosengrant, and credits are read by Ashley Craft, who has created the podcast official graphics. Episode was edited by Chelsea Finley. Episode was written by Casper Oliver and Jenny O’ Sullivan. Music was created by Luke Menniss, spelled m-e-n-n-i-s-s, who you can find and support on Bandcamp, Spotify and Twitch. If you’ve been enjoying us, please consider leaving a rating, review or comment, wherever you tune in. You can also support us on Patreon or Podhero by following the links in our episode description. And special thanks to our patreon supporters, Tristan, Perry, Devin, Becky, Nico, Danny and Joyce.

[madhyanas]

8 people i’d like to know better!

tagged by: @datmando [listen babe i ADORE you. mwah.]

favourite colours: the whole spectrum of green. literally all of it. olive green??? cool and earthy. deep emerald??? majestic. pastels??? calming and elegant. fluorescents and limes??? YES give me that fairly odd parents cosmo shit. the only possible exception would be chartreuse, which actually slaps as a colour, but i thought it was a shade of red/maroon for the longest time and i felt betrayed when i found out 😔

last song i listened to: f2020 - avenue beat. hella catchy, such a bop. definitely the anthem of the year. i also really respect that it was made as a meme, then released officially after everyone related to it a lil too hard LMAO

favourite musicians: hozier, logic, doja cat, arctic monkeys, george ezra, the lumineers, half●alive, amongst others. i’m also really into musical soundtracks! hamilton, beetlejuice, hadestown, etc. let me know what y’all listen to, i’d love to get some new beats ;)

last film i watched: the two popes. hella late, as usual, but i really, really liked it. the dialogue is ARTFUL and as someone who doesn’t consider a religion a large part of their life, it cast an interesting light on one’s relationship with god. also way funnier than i expected lmao

last tv show i watched: haikyuu. does anime count? anyway, they finally added seasons 2-4 to indian netflix, so i’m getting back into these volleyball boys 😤please please PLEASE come scream at me about weeb shit. i welcome it.

favourite original character: i’m assuming this means my own oc’s? hm well from the hospitality series, i gotta say vosca. she’s a feral, wholesome child and i love her. but from original fiction i develop for fun, there’s a girl called danishka that i really like. museum archivist by day, reluctant superhero by night, has a hopeless crush on both the neighbours next door. she’s kinda relatable but also Not A Good Role Model. the dream is to write something for that universe, but where is the motivation!!!!!! fuck if i know 😩

sweet, spicy, or savoury: sweet, ANY day.

sparkling water, tea, or coffee: out of preference, i gotta say tea. there are so many variations! from so many different countries/cultures! you can add cool stuff to it! but it’s kind of tradition in my household to have coffee together at least once a day, so that holds a special place in my heart, too. tbh as long as it’s sweet, and can be cold, i love it. sparkling water can suck my dick and rot in hell. why does it exist. what the fuck.

pets: none, unfortunately. but there’s a family of cats hanging around my apartment complex, and i respect their vibe. same with the frogs who show up after it rains, too. fat little bastards. they’re the best. i really wanted a tortoise as a kid, but the uv lighting and enclosure were more expensive than the critter himself, so we couldn’t :(

no pressure tags: @dartheldur @shadylightbearherring @wickedlyemma @abysshaven @corrupt-fvcker @theocatkov @jangofctts @beskar-boba

[frobster]

Collection of Cuties: Chapter 26

I really thought this was an ask request but I couldn't find it. Here it is anyway!

Pietro goes to a pet shop with Natasha and Clint and bonds with an adorable hedgehog. ♡

☆☆☆

Where Peter had been in love with ferrets and how they reminded him of Pietro, the blonde loved hedgehogs for their little noses and defensive attitudes. He thought they were absolutely adorable, the perfect pet, and spent hours watching videos of them. His favorite plushie was a brown hedgehog that Clint had bought for him in their first order of cute little items and a day never went by that didn’t see Pietro clinging to that hedgehog.

After learning that Peter got to go to a pet store with his daddies and play with the ferrets, Pietro pestered his partners about going to see the hedgehogs.

“Papa, I have to! I have to see them!” Pietro insisted as he tugged on Clint’s shirt.

“I think that’s a pretty good argument,” Nat chimed in with a smirk.

“See? Mama says we gotta go!”

Clint sighed and gave Natasha a very unamused look. She just shrugged and reached out to ruffle Pietro’s hair. 

“Alright, alright. But we are not buying one. We don’t have the time or space for any sort of pet.” Clint wanted to make that absolutely clear before they even left. 

Pietro just grinned and darted to his room to get changed into appropriate clothes. During lazy days that they all spent in their unit, Pietro typically wore his pajamas all day or some other cute outfit that denoted his softer headspace. But for going out in public, he knew he had to wear clothes appropriate for someone his age. Soft jeans and a plain shirt replaced his pajamas when Pietro came back out of his room, still grinning eagerly.

Natasha was standing by the door with her coat and boots on already, looking ready to leave. Pietro joined her and leaned in close as she wrapped her arms around him. He had to duck his head since he was significantly taller than her, but neither of them really minded. Clint was still grumbling as he got ready and gave them both another meaningful look before they all headed out.

Since he couldn’t really bring his plush hedgehog out in public, Pietro opted for the keychain instead. It was a cute little cartoon hedgehog that looked just like his brown plushie, and it sparkled in the sunlight. The sparkles kept him mostly occupied during the car ride to the nearest pet store, an easy task to accomplish when he felt soft.

Natasha and Clint talked softly in the front, discussing the reality of not being able to keep any sort of pet. Other people would be at the compound at all times so it wasn’t like the hedgehog would be helpless whenever they had to leave on a mission. But Pietro was notoriously possessive of what he deemed to be his, and both older partners agreed that it was highly unlikely for him to be willing to keep the hedgehog in a public space where anyone could play with it.

At the store, Pietro perked up and darted out of the car as soon as Clint parked. He felt like he could barely contain his excitement, and it took Natasha squeezing his hand firmly to keep him from darting off into the store without them. That would be breaking three rules - using his power in public when there was no threat around, using his power while little, and running away from his partners. He definitely wouldn’t get to play with the hedgehogs if he got in that much trouble.

Inside the store were cages and enclosures for multiple different animals. Cats and dogs lined large crates along the walls, birds had a tall cage in the middle, fish circled the bird cage, and open-top enclosures of small pets were dotted around the store. Pietro grinned and was nearly vibrating with excitement as Natasha and Clint walked him through the store. They paused to look at a few different animals and Pietro even took the time to stop by the ferrets and send a few pictures to Peter.

But as soon as the hedgehogs were in view, everything else was forgotten. Pietro squealed and both his partners tightened their holds on his hands so he wouldn’t dart away from them. He tugged them along anyway before letting go so he could lean over the enclosure wall, watching with wide eyes as the little animals scurried around. There were five in the enclosure and four of them had a normal coloration, but one was far lighter. 

With the gentlest of touches, Pietro reached out and brushed his fingers over the light hedgehog. It squeaked and puffed out its spikes, which made Pietro quickly pull his hand away. But he wasn’t upset. He had spent so long reading about them and watching informational videos, he knew what to expect.

“It is okay, little one. I will not hurt you,” he murmured in Sokovian.

It took a few minutes of Pietro gently petting and pulling his hand away before the hedgehog finally waddled closer and gave his fingers a sniff. Then it nuzzled against him and he cooed, wiggling his fingers and starting to properly play with it.

Soon enough, Pietro was able to scoop up the little animal and cradle it against his chest as it squeaked and pawed at him. He giggled and let it run over his hands’ always making sure to hold it steady. His partners watched with fond smiles, always loving whenever their sweet boy was so happy.

“Papa, look,” Pietro whispered as he walked over. “White, we match.”

Clint chuckled and ran a hand through Pietro’s hair, which the boy happily leaned into. He always liked having his hair played with.

“It’s real cute, baby. Almost as cute as you.”

“Cute enough to take home?” Pietro looked at Clint with a hopeful smile.

“I dunno, who would take care of it when we have to go on missions? And a pet is a lot of responsibility. I’m sure Peter’s daddies gave him the same talk when they went to look at ferrets.”

Pietro huffed and focused his attention on the hedgehog again, freely stroking its back without fear of it puffing up again. It was so much better than just watching videos or pretending with his plushie. This was a real animal that he could play with.

“Mama?” Pietro peeked over at Natasha, as if she would have a different answer.

“You would have to let other people play with it too, baby. Keep it in a communal space so they could take care of it while you were gone,” she reasoned.

Pietro’s pout became thoughtful and he wandered away towards the small cages. Clint and Natasha just looked at each other, surprised that Pietro seemed willing to consider sharing.

They gave him a few minutes alone to think before going off after him, finding him on the floor in front of a starter kit. Pietro still cradled the hedgehog like it was something precious, which it was to him, and he was reading the label thoroughly. 

“I don’t know, Mischa. Would these bars hurt your feet?” Pietro was thinking aloud in his native tongue, clearly concerned about the animal’s safety more than what the cage looked like.

Natasha sighed when she realized Pietro had already named the hedgehog. It would be cruel to separate the two at that point. She walked over and kneeled down next to Pietro, reaching out to rub his shoulder with a smile.

“Hey, sweetheart. Find a good cage?”

Pietro shook his head, still looking thoughtful.

“No, I don’t like any of the cages here. They don’t seem right for Mischa.” 

“Well…” Natasha looked up to Clint, who nodded. “How about we go home and order a good cage online? Then once everything is set up, we can come back and take Mischa home.”

Pietro paused, unsure if he really understood Natasha correctly. He looked at her, still petting his hedgehog, and leaned in close to her.

“I.. I get to have it? We can have Mischa?”

“Yeah, buddy.” Clint walked up and crouched down next to Pietro with a smile. “I already asked the manager to keep Mischa on hold for us until we can get all the supplies. Then when everything is ready, we’ll come back to take your new friend home.”

Pietro grinned and rocked in place, not wanting to do anything too intense for risk of scaring or hurting his new pet. But he had to express his excitement somehow. He squirmed in place until his partners wrapped him in a tight hug.

“Thank you. I’ll take good care of him, I promise.” Pietro sounded so determined, so sure that he would be the best pet owner.

“I know you will. Now let’s head home so we can start ordering what he’ll need, okay?” Clint stood before reaching out a hand to help Pietro up too, who still cradled Mischa against his chest.

“How long? I don’t want him to get lonely or forget me,” Pietro fretted, immediately petting the hedgehog with both hands again once he was standing. 

“Just a few days. The sooner we get everything ordered and set up, the sooner we can come back for him.”

Pietro nodded in understanding. At the hedgehog enclosure, he placed a gentle kiss on Mischa’s nose before settling him back inside. The hedgehog squeaked loudly and scratched at the wall as if trying to climb back up into Pietro’s hands, who whined softly and tucked his face into Clint’s shoulder.

“I know, baby. He’ll be okay. He’s just like you, yeah?” Clint slowly rubbed Pietro’s back to help him settle again, giving him a moment to collect his feelings.

Then they all headed back out to the car with ‘thank you’s shouted to the manager. In the car, Pietro pulled out his phone and brought up tabs with the supplies he had seen recommended many times in all his research. He sent the links to their group chat so Natasha and Clint would have them when it came time to buy everything.

“Thank you,” Pietro said again as he fiddled with his keychain, trying to recreate how it felt to have Mischa in his hands.

“You’re welcome,” Natasha said with a smile as she looked back at him.

“Anything for you, sweet boy,” Clint added.

Pietro sank back in his seat with a smile and closed his eyes, daydreaming about a week into the future when he would be able to hold Mischa again.

☆☆☆

This is also on ao3 as Collection of Cuties!

[newnewyorker93]

Drabble Thing - 61

Here you go :)

Blueberries for Gerald

Tony was in high spirits when he got back from the farmer's market, arms loaded down with bags of fresh fruit and vegetables and Morgan babbling happily from her perch in the baby carrier strapped to his chest. He saw Pepper waiting for him on the porch and waved the bags at her excitedly.

"They had blueberries! We should try planting some blueberries next year, Pep, apparently they grow really well around here. Do you think Morgan's old enough to try some? Probably not, right? I bet they're a choking hazard. Like grapes. And chunks of hot dog. Not that we could grow hot dogs anyway. Maybe if we mashed them up? The blueberries, I mean. Not hot dogs. That's a good idea, actually, we should make our own baby food! What d'you think?" Tony set down one of the bags and rooted around in it for a handful of berries. "Blueberry?"

"Welcome back." Pepper said acidly, ignoring the proffered fruit and all of her husband's rambling. "Now fucking help me."

Tony gasped theatrically and dropped the rest of the bags he was carrying to the ground so that he could quickly cover Morgan's ears with his hands. Whatever was upsetting Pepper he was on thin ice and he knew it but he couldn't help himself and at any rate, self-preservation had never exactly been his strong suit. "Language, Potts! There are children present."

"Yeah, I can see that." Pepper snapped. "And oh look, Morgan's here too!"

Tony winced. "Well that's a bit harsh," he muttered under his breath.

"Do you know what I've been doing for the last hour?" Pepper asked, in her calm-but-scary business voice that made CEOs quake in their overpriced dress shoes (and left Tony, as usual, a confusing combination of scared and turned on).

Tony surveyed Pepper, noting at last the dirt and green smudges on her face and arms, the bits of leaves and flower petals scattered over her clothes, the feathers sticking out of her hair… "You... lost a pillow fight. To...I wanna say a rose bush?"

"No, Tony. I did not lose a pillow fight to a rose bush. I have, in fact, been chasing chickens all afternoon because that fucking demon creature you bought-"

"Gerald?"

"Yes Gerald, Tony - unless you've purchased some other insane animal I don't know about, in which case I will actually murder you and it'll be 100% justifiable homicide - decided it would be a great idea to smash in the fence to the chicken enclosure, not to mention trampling half the garden before I was able to get him out of there…"

Pepper stomped over to the garden gate while she spoke, Tony following quickly behind, and presented him with a scene that could best be described as the botanical equivalent of the Battle of New York - all the tomato trellises were knocked over, flower petals and squashed fruit littered the ground, and several pumpkins lay smashed open, the alpaca hoof-shaped holes in their orange corpses leaving no doubt as to the culprit.

"Oh shit."

"Language, Stark." Pepper teased. She unbuckled Morgan from Tony's chest and traded him a garbage bag and a rake for their daughter. "Now come on, help me clean up your mess."

"Wait, I wasn't even here, how is it my-" Tony started to protest.

"Your alpaca, your mess."

Tony grumbled a bit at that, but he got to work all the same. Soon he was just as sweaty and dirty as Pepper (although decorated with far fewer feathers) and after a few hours' hard work, just as the sun was starting to set over the horizon, the two of them had successfully restored some semblance of order. They both flopped down onto the garden bench next to Morgan, now sound asleep in her baby carrier, with an exhausted sigh. Tony grabbed a downy brown feather that was still sticking out from behind Pepper's ear and tickled her nose with it for a few seconds before letting it flutter to the ground; she softened and gave him a small tired-but-happy smile in response.

"I'm sorry, babe." Tony apologized. "About the mess. And Gerald. He just needs some time to adjust… Anyway, I promise, first thing - well, first thing after we both take a shower that is; I love the whole disheveled farm girl look on you, it's very hot but no offense, you do smell like literal chicken shit right now -" Pepper glared at Tony again, but fondly this time. "I'm gonna start work on designing a new fencing system for us. Totally alpaca proof."

"Good." She stood up from the bench with a stretch and a groan and then pulled Tony to his feet as well. He grabbed the baby carrier in his free hand and they headed back towards the house together.

"Now you've gotta try some of these blueberries, they're-" Tony stopped short, eyes widening as he took in a new scene of carnage before them - the bags he'd brought back from the farmer's market were now completely flattened, a trail of bright berry juice leading from them to the enclosure where Gerald stood, innocently chewing on some grass. "My blueberries!" Tony moaned, devastated.

Pepper laughed all the way to the shower.

---

prompt list