#i got wordy as fuck in this one yikes

[tigerbears]

DNI footnotes/explanations.

Realized my DNI got a bit wordy so I decided to put the long text here instead of in the introduction. Full DNI list is in the introduction, and this is only the footnotes for a few select items on the list.

(Footnote 01): "DNI if you ship THOSE ships. Y'know, the ones which involve some form of i*nest or p*dophilia."

I don't want to get into the flipping "pro-ship/con-ship" discourse. If your interested in these relationships not because you like the two together, but because you want to explore these uncomfortable topics (while handling it with care and recognizing yes this is very fucked up and your supposed to be horrified and not thinking "awww isn't it nice how these two characters are in a relationship.") Then yeah, that's fine I guess because unfortunately, these f*cked up things both happened in the past (looking at you Hellenic Egypt and Ancient Greece) and unfortunately still happen now. Not really interested in fan works that depict characters I like as bloody gr*omers but you do you.

However, if you don't tackle that and just ship the two characters like nothing is wrong with the situation, I'm going to think your a weirdo/creep and ask you to not interact with me. At first glance I'll assume your the latter and not the former. If you are the former please make it clear your not the latter. (and no if your the latter and are using the former as a shield you don't get a pass.)

and if your the person who'd say "actually in my AU Frisk is aged up and also a girl so that's why its ok that I ship them with sans" or "um actually Lancer is a teen and not a child bc of all these weird arguments so its ok that I ship him with Susie" or "Actually the Dreemurrs didn't adopt Chara, Asriel and Chara are not siblings, plz ignore how Gerson once referred to the Dreemurr's children in the plural," then I'm just going to look at you weirdly and still ask you to not interact.

Also to clerify, Friskriel and Charisk don't fall under this DNI unless specific extenuating circumstances are in effect. Friskriel is fine unless Toriel adopts Frisk because then it's incest. Charisk is fine, and I guess there's some grey area in "is it moral to date a ghost that used to be your mom's adopted child like 100s years ago" because of I guess that lacks the whole "power dynamic" issue, but if it's a "save ghost pal" situation where Chara's magically alive because ????? and Toriel adopts Frisk then it's incest. (Hey things get complected when one of the characters is dead!) I will give the benefit of the doubt and assume Friskriel and Charisk isn't the incestuous versions unless stated otherwise.

(FOOTNOTE 02): "Kralsei just barely gets a pass until we know what Ralsei is. Potential reveals may push the ship into the DNI zone."

This is only until we get an answer on what Ralsei is. There's still the caveat of "there's some sort of connection between him and Asriel due to the anagram, and characters drawing attention to the resemblance so future reveals may push the ship into the yikesy category." The resemblance is concerning but I'm just not going to touch the ship until we know more about what Ralsei is.

Currently, I just see Kralsei shippers similarly those who shipped Luke and Laia in 1982, as ROTJ isn't out yet so you don't know their siblings. (Except for the Kralsei example we know he's somehow connected to Asriel, while with Luke and Laia it was a retcon in ROTJ and SW fans pre-1983 had no reason to be worried, especially seeing as they f--king kissed.)

I don't think Ralsei is Asriel, but if its revealed that Ralsei is like a personification of Kris's familial love for their brother or something, then that's going to push Kralsei into the "OH GOD YIKES" category and if you still ship them after that reveal, please don't interact.

Still, even the best case scenario for Kralsei is going to feel weird to me just because of Ralsei's connections to Asriel but again I'm withholding judgment until we know what Ralsei is. At best Kralsei's going to be kind of weird at worst it's going to be "OH GOD YIKES!" (and this isn't even taking into account Kris's whole possession situation and how that would impact their consent in any relationship seeing as were controlling them.)

(Footnote 03): Please tag your anti-ship posts as anti-[shipname], or I will likely block you, especially if you just tag the ship name.

I don't really care about shipping discourse and stuff (beyond the above "DNI if you ship yikes ships"), but please if you make anti-ship posts tag them as anti-[ship name here] (E.G "anti-dessriel" or "anti-suselle" or any anti-tag equivalent). If you don't and instead just use the normal ship tag I'll likely block you because I follow that tag for anything but anti-ship posts.

I don't care if you hate a ship that I love, (i may make posts defending a ship/debunking arguments against it without targeting anyone individually), but generally if you hate a relationship I love I don't care. I just don't want to see anti-suselle posts tagged with just "suselle" because I'm following that tag to see anything but anti-suselle content. Just do the basic thing and tag your anti-ship posts that's all I ask.

I used to be pretty loose with blocks, and prefer to only do that in extreme circumstances (basically only if like, p*rn bots, explicit NSFW blogs with untagged nudity, blogs with "yikes ships" who interact with me, or blogs run by TERFs and other phobic weirdos) and I honestly want to stay that way, but inadequate tagging is a new block-able offense.

Return to my introduction here.

[canonicallyanxious]

this 30 question thing?? and i have to tag 20 people lol in what universe do i have that many friends

Thanks to @evensdramaticshenanigans for tagging me! <33

nickname: don’t really... have one anymore? Just call me Sarah i suppose gender: i’m a girl i guess idk i’m not that committed star sign: gemini! height: five feet on the dot as my wonderful friends who’ve never even met me in real life so love to remind me on the daily :’] birthday: May 29th favourite bands: fuck me idk what i listen to anymore um two door cinema club, twenty one pilots, misterwives, grizzly bear, the xx, glass animals, local natives, wildcat! wildcat!, saint motel, recently got into little green cars as well, basically just a shitton of white indie rock lol [though grizzly bear and the xx are gay culture so Jot That Down] favourite solo artist: Sufjan Stevens until i die [literally play seven swans at my funeral i’m not even joking]!!! also hayley kiyoko, mirah, laura veirs, brooke waggoner, and kid cudi song stuck in my head: dusk til dawn by ZAYN/Sia, it’s such a jam??? BABY I’LL BE THEEEEEEEEEREREREREREREREEEEEEEE last movie i watched: i think it was this movie called fairhaven about a kid who gets sent to gay conversion therapy [yikes......] and when he comes back he has to navigate his relationship with his old boyfriend which, like, i was kinda dubious about, but i gave it a shot because people said there was a happy ending and the trailer looked good?? turns out they put almost all the good footage in the trailer and there’s maybe like two minutes of the entire movie i actually liked LOL the acting was good but idk the writing was... eh? also i hated how long the conversion therapy scenes were i had to skip over those because i just couldn’t do it so basically i would not recommend it unless you can find the two good minutes of the movie [which to be fair were REALLY FUCKING GOOD i mean my queer ass is absurdly weak for sleepy morning cuddles idk what you want from me] last show  watched: haven’t really had the time or emotional/mental capacity for proper tv show watching lately but i did start watching this webseries called Barbelle [it totally counts] which is about lesbian pop stars and honestly what more of a pitch could you need go watch it right now when did i start this blog: i wanna say i made it late 2010 and started using it mid 2011 but like what are dates, time is a construct, IDK what do i post: idk lol. i guess you’d call this clusterfuck a multi-fandom blog?? right now there’s a lot of skam, check please, brooklyn 99, the get down, various other gay shit, the usual Other blogs: I'm a tiny bit obsessed with sideblogs oops. let’s see what are the ones i actually want linked out there... so i’ve got an aesthetic blog, a collab blog i run with my writing partner in crime and spouse @boxesfullofthoughts, a SKAM fic rec blog i co-run with a bunch of other people now lol, a review blog i run with lyds and @pronouncingitwang we don’t really post on anymore but w/e it exists, and more private blogs than i care to admit do i get asks: not that often nah average sleep: lol lucky number: 28 dream job: the DREAM dream job [like, top tier goals] is to write stories and live like a hermit but the “this might not be my ~most ideal scenario in the most perfect world~ career but i know i would be happy and fulfilled doing this” dream job is communications in public health [preferably at a nonprofit/ngo] food: noodles! last book i read: Clifford’s Blues, had to read it for class and i’d actually highly recommend it! It’s about a gay black jazz musician imprisoned in Dachau during the Holocaust and you can tell the writer really did his research. lots of interesting things done with style and form too. it’s quite heavy though so be warned what i’m wearing: an apollo/nasa shirt i got from the kennedy space center, jeans, socks my SO gave me, and my favorite flannel 8] favorite fandoms: my cynical bitter ass thinks all fandoms kinda suck on some level lol i’m sorry i’m such a rude fucker but i guess i’ll answer this with favorite fandom i’ve written for? in which case best and worst fandom simultaneously goes to SKAM, worst because the fic culture in this fandom was really stressful and rough on my mental health at times back when i was still actively writing [rip don’t ask me why i’m not writing now believe me i want to so badly but my life is a MESS] and i’m just in general not a huge fan of the level of entitlement and harassment i see leveled toward other writers [which of all the fandoms i’ve written for probably has to be the absolute ugliest] but also best because i’ve met some of my favorite people through writing for the fandom i would otherwise not have gotten to know, which makes up for 100% of the bullshit and then some. so... yeah sorry this is kinda not a very positive answer i just figured i’d be as honest as i could

i’m tagging: 20 people????????????? fuck that i’m just gonna tag like half of that, do it if you want but don’t feel pressured! @boxesfullofthoughts, @call-this-a-mask, @pronouncingitwang, @hotchocolatenthusiast, @fox-muldr, @rumpelsnorcack, @askybison, @minyardv, @of-flowers-and-sunshine, @thelibraryiscool

[2amth0ts]

First 2am thought of the season!!

Holy crap I have so many of these backed up tho... yikes

We dealing with Technoblade first cause sheesh I'm deep in baby fever... this is gonna get wordy lol

NSFW BEYOND THIS POINT ~ MINORS DNI

So imagine getting railed into the mattress by Techno all night right? Mans is in a mood for some reason, be it the voices have officially pressed all his buttons too many times for one day or it was you who pressed all of his dom buttons - idk, but he’s got you pressed into the bed face down and ass up. The both of you have lost count of orgasms so far and there really isn’t an end in sight. 

Both of your hands are held together by his large af fingers, while his other hand wanders up and down your body. You’re whimpering and moaning into the sheets from how fucked out you are and Tech is just reveling in it all. 

Using his hips and how impaled on his cock you are to press into you and force your back to arch just that much more. To the point that it’s painful yet he’s now angled to hit even deeper and you could care less about how fucked your spine is. It’s at this that Tech realizes something about the position he’s put both of you in. 

So his fingers brush a blazing trail down to your lower belly and he’s suddenly pressing into you to see if he can feel his own thrusts right through your skin and the both of you fucking can. Now he’s really lost it, the fact that your so small on him (which really isn’t that hard, the mans like 8ft tall or smthn) that he can literally feel how he fucks you so hard. He really doesn’t last long after that, growling and grunting right into your ear as he fills you up so damn good. 

Course he gets hard right the fuck all over again as he can feel the distention of your womb inflating with the amount of cum that Techno has fucked right into you. It drives him nuts to think about you all swollen and stuffed full of his cum to the point that you have to waddle around with it all and try to keep it all in cause he’d definitely just fuck any cum that drips out right back into you accompanied with another load or two. 

~~~~~~~~

Bleeeeh i feel so weird posting this lol

Like i don’t like it? But i also want to just get this off my chest and somewhere that isn’t freaking googledocs cause i never post my fics??

Whatever, i’ll deal with any backlash if/when it comes >.<

[yoong-i]

this was supposed to be a fav D-2 lyrics post but it just somehow turned into me rambling my thoughts about D-2 in regard to life and what he’s said in the interviews so far

So I started this and then my computer decided to restart and I lost all of it. And then when I finally finished it and hit save draft one last time, Tumblr stopped working. So if you see anything formatted weirdly, let me know. The universe was against me on this one.

As always, all translators are linked. Check them out and give them credit, they’re great at what they do. Sometimes they update things, so I really do recommend checking out the links to see if they’ve made any updates since I’ve posted.

I love Yoongi’s writing a lot, so I tend to get a bit wordy. I’d say I’m sorry but really, me doing these lyric posts is entirely self-indulgent so, I’m not.

(OK. I wrote that part before I finished and YIKES this ended up being SO LONG I am SORRY)

I want to point out some of the obvious references first that I know everyone on the internet has already figured out, but as I’ve said, idc. I like to have things in one place so I can look back at it. These ones don’t need much explanation, I feel, so I’m just gonna leave them here. Credits for these are with their songs down below.

“If you think you’re gonna crash, accelerate even harder, you idiot” 

From Moonlight, but also Intro: Never Mind, which is just so Yoongi to me. I think that song gives you an accurate picture of him.

“I got a big house big car big ring, bring anything over, I’ll give it to you” 

From What do you think?, and then No More Dream, Home, and Interlude: Shadow. This gif set breaks the references down nicely. It’s interesting to see the different tones he takes when referencing this line. I think Interlude: Shadow is my favorite, but really, I’m just biased to that song and they’re all truly great.

“I’m a king, I’i m a boss” 

Daechwita to Interlude: Shadow (I am sorry that this song is all I ever talk about all the time). I can’t remember if he references wanting to be the king/top in other songs, and I’m too lazy to check right now. So I’m going to go with no unless someone would like to correct me, I don’t mind.

There’s also the Burn It/Outro: Tear references that are just too much to copy and paste, really. I’m sure an argument can be made that it’s the whole song being referenced, but to me, this is the obvious part being referenced from Outro: Tear:

“Right, it’s there, what are you hesitating for? This is the end you wanted I hope you kill quickly without hesitation Woo yeah yeah burn it, woo yeah yeah yeah burn it, woo yeah yeah yeah burn it So that not even ashes are left. This is the real you and this is the real me We’ve now seen the end and there are not even resentments left Awake now from sweet dreams, I close my eyes This is the real you and this is the real me“

~~

While I didn’t list a lyric from Interlude: Set Me Free, I just want to say that I do really love this song, but there just aren’t many lyrics in it. Additionally, I’m not sure what exactly he’s saying he wants to be set free from, and so it doesn’t feel right to make an assumption about the lyrics. (Which is kinda bothering me, not in an annoyed way, but more or less just nagging at me.) But really, I love any interlude from Yoongi. Set Me Free sounds so beautiful and so calming and I wish the bird chirping didn’t drive my cat so crazy so I could enjoy it more.

~~

“Changes are fated to happen to everyone, perhaps, how we change is what our undertaking is about.”

Moonlight. I’ve said this before, but I really do love a good lyric about growing and changing and this mixtape definitely has a lot of it. I think it is interesting that he talks about change like this in the opening song, and then he talks about change in Dear my friend, which is much different given the tone of that whole song. Here, in the very first song, he poses the idea of “change is good, depending how you change” and then delves into a mixtape that discusses “the present” of his life (he tells Billboard in this article that this mixtape is about the present), which I find interesting. I’ll try to touch on it more in Dear my friend.

//

“What’s after this?  Feeling a strong feeling of reality check, a situation where there’s no higher. I had only looked up, now I just wanna look down and gently land.”

Daechwita. Yes, Interlude: Shadow AGAIN (as your local Shadow enthusiast, it only makes sense I pick a lyric that connects.) Although he says don’t let me down in Shadow, in that song I take it more as “I want to come down but I’m terrified of what’s gonna happen.” Where Shadow is more desperate, the tone of Daechwita is definitely more confident. Plus he has that whole mad king thing going for him (and then the whole killing the mad king thing) which Muish discusses wonderfully in the translation I linked.

This is another thing I love about Yoongi and his lyrics. He’s discussing the same thing in the lines of these different songs, but you get to witness these two battling personas when it comes to the topic. And I guess that is the point of there being a difference between Suga and Agust D, but I do wonder where Yoongi falls between these two. He lets you see his struggle and that’s why I love his writing. (I also love that for this song he says focus more on the visual and auditory enjoyment than the lyrics. The video really does tell a good story.)

//

“Crazy that you’d think that my success has a connection to your failure.”

“I have no fucking interest in those who ask whether idol music is music.”

What do you think? The idol lyric may seem like a weird choice, but as a long time boyband stan I’m so over the way artists who were/are in boybands get disregarded for their talent. I’ve come to realize I just need to stop caring whether or not they are socially accepted by “others” and just enjoy what music they are choosing to share with me and those who support them.

I don’t have much to say about the success lyric. It’s just Yoongi being his usual self and I love it.

//

“Capital injects morphine called hope with dream as collateral“

The first time I read this I did a double take. Much to unpack here, but I think that is even beyond me. Interpret it as you please.

“The one who has his eyes open in the world that has its eyes closed — now they make him blind, isn’t it strange.” 

Namjoon has a similar lyric later, but rather than the second half of Yoongi’s lyric, Joon says “that he has his eyes open alone is so much more strange for me” and I love the contrast between the two. Very on brand too.

“But still, life goes on, somehow, just like this, everyone, in their own chicken coop, says they’re okay.”

Strange. I had to stop myself because it is very hard to just not copy and paste the whole freakin song. I love anything these two create together as they are two of the most wonderful lyricists I have ever seen. Going off of that, this song is very reminiscent of Respect for me. Do yourself a favor and just sit down and read through these lyrics (Strange, but also I always recommend Respect). Songs like these make me wish I was a fly on the wall for conversations between these two.

//

“People change, just as I have, there’s nothing eternal about life, they’re all happenings that pass by”

“Did someone say humans are the animals of wisdom? The way I see it, humans are the animals of regret”

People. I love this song a lot (and NOT just because he sounds like an angel in it...) Despite that, I’m not sure why but I found myself stuck on what he was trying to say with this song as a whole. I enlisted my best friend for help and she gave me some good insight and one of the things she said was “good can come out of living each day like it means something.” While I didn’t see this song as inherently negative, I don’t think I was viewing the song in a way that would have allowed me to see this silver lining. I saw it as more cynical I guess?

//

“Tomorrow will come and go once again, this kind of me, that kind of you are both simply enduring the day, I guess.”

Honsool. Time isn’t real. Am I writing this at 2 o’clock in the morning when I should be asleep? Maybe so. But time isn’t real and the days come and go and we’re all just enduring. I like the word choice there. Not surviving, or getting by, or living. We’re enduring.

//

“I grow older and become to know the world, and yet, would it have been better to not know the world?”

Ignorance is bliss. Kinda. This lyric actually reminded me of Nightmare by Halsey, one part specifically: “'Cause kindness is weakness, or worse, you're complacent, I could play nice or I could be a bully, I'm tired and angry, but somebody should be” And like. Yeah. Would I rather be ignorant to all the world’s problems and not give a shit about anything just to be happy, or should I let myself succumb to believing in cynicism for the sake of the world and caring about things? I used a different translation for this lyric than I did for the other two lyrics in 28.

“To live, live, live just one day without any worries, just one day without any concerns.” 

“I thought it’d change when I turned twenty, I thought it’d change when I graduated, Shit, if I’m thirty like this, this, And so, so, what’s changed with me?”

28. This was another one of those where I had to stop and tell myself, Ahna, please do not copy every lyric. But, just know that I wanted to. We spend so many of our days looking forward because we are so displeased with where we are currently at (reminder: this mixtape is about the present.) There’s the constant thought of “once I achieve this thing, it’ll be better!” We’ve all done it, I’ve done it, and I truly hate it. The difference here is you have someone like Yoongi, who is at the top, who has it “all” and he is still stuck in this mindset. Oh, also, hi he’s talking about change again. 

//

“[Always], the choice and decision is yours to make. I hope you don’t forget that giving up decisively also counts as courage.”

Burn It. It is now 4am and Burn It just came on shuffle and I’ve been staring at this lyric for a bit too long, hating my 2pm fully conscious self for choosing this one and leaving writing about it for last. This lyric is existential crisis content. I don’t think I’ve ever in my life heard someone talk about giving up in this way. Giving up can be so powerless, but thinking about giving up in this way not only restores power, but also praises you for being able to make such a decision bold decision for yourself. Makes you think a lot about Yoongi and how he turned out the way he has.

Yoongi reiterated a similar thought in the interview with TIME: “It’s good to know that it’s fine when things go in an unintended direction, because you can always start over again. Keep calm, take the next-best option and move forward.” And this translator also points out another instance, just a month before he dropped his mixtape, of him saying basically the same thing again to one of the listeners on his Live who said they gave up their dream: “I don’t know what circumstances you were in, but I think you must have had tremendous courage. Giving something up decisively takes lots of courage. And, you’ve worked hard.” Like, is he trying to make me cry? 

//

“Was it you who changed? Or was it me? I hate this flowing time, it's us who changed.”

Dear my friend. First, in regard to the lyric itself, there are so many friendships we look back on, ruined or not, and wonder whose fault it was. Maybe even blame them if it’s easier. While it does vary by friendship, I do think it’s important to step back and question our place in it all going wrong, and how we have changed as well. The “I hate this flowing time, it's us who changed” reminds me of how sometimes there truly is nothing you can do when it comes to changing and growing apart from people. It’s not your fault, it’s not my fault, we have changed in ways we both needed to and we are not compatible anymore. I do think the overarching theme in Dear my friend is different from this, however.

I was not expecting this song at all. I think a lot of stuff Yoongi writes is very open and vulnerable, but this song really took me by surprise because it’s a different kind of open. This song will make you miss friendships and people that went downhill, wondering what more you could have done for them. Why he gotta do me like this.

Going back to the thought I posed in Moonlight, in Dear my friend we witness a change that just... isn’t good. Aside from that, on an album which is supposedly all about the present of his life, this song is not. Maybe it is present because it is something that still clearly bothers him, and something, or rather someone, he thinks about a lot, but I still find it interesting. Maybe it was just a sentiment he felt he really needed to get out. 

He talks about change a lot on this album, yet when they ask him in the D-2 interviews (TIME/Billboard) about how he feels things have changed since the last mixtape, he says he doesn’t feel his life really changed.

If you listen to Intro: Never Mind, he says the only thing he feels that’s different about him is his height, and that he’s mature compared to people his age. That must be very grounding, feeling that despite the whirlwind of his life and fame he is still the same person he’s always been. And then again, 5 years later in 2020, the only change he mentions about himself is that he’s matured. I guess “matured” can be taken different ways, especially in regard to the way he talks about growth on this album. But I respect and admire him talking about himself like this. I appreciate the introspection and I take maturing in this context as a positive thing. I take it as him growing in good ways, becoming better versions of himself, which I feel shows in the art he produces. 

One more thought, and it goes back to the interviews. Yoongi told TIME “what’s good is good” is his philosophy. I think back to 28 and People, and the drastic difference between his life and mine, or as he would say, the difference between our ordinaries and extraordinaries, yet we both have the same bad habits and worries about the future.  

Yoongi seems like a walking hazard sign for wanting more or too much, warning of it not being better and it being lonely to have “everything” you want. Considering how simple the phrase “what’s good is good” is, I have spent too long thinking about it in relation to all of this. He uses it in People when talking about the average ordinary life. In the new Break the Silence docu-series, he talks about not being able to do ordinary things like go out for a coffee or to the movies. It is once again his reminder, things are not better up there. You will still struggle. Be content with what you have. If it’s good, its good, and what’s good is good. Let it be. 

~~

This felt like a good ending note, and then I remembered Billboard asked him, “What is a line or thought you share on D-2 you want listeners to be left thinking about?“ And this was his answer:

“So what, if we live like that, so what My distinction is your ordinary My ordinary is your distinction”

I thought it was funny that I somehow ended this by talking about the one thing he wanted to leave us thinking about. Mission accomplished Yoongi.

~~

In regard to raising questions about norms and how we live, Yoongi said he just merely wanted to raise the question mark - not provide the answers - and boy did he here. I will be thinking about this all for a while. This took me so much longer to write than intended, mostly just because I wasn’t expecting to feel so strongly about all the songs.  Thank you for the art honey my dude.

[vecna]

For fandom meme-swtor?

Send me a fandom!

This one isn’t as spicy as the Dragon Age one, but I still got Wordy.

Also there’s lots of KOTFE/KOTET/etc spoilers in here, so don’t read if you don’t want to see em. (Looking at you, Chignon.)

The character(s) I first fell in love with:

My own OCs haha.

But more seriously: It was actually Darth Malgus! I was always going to play a Star Wars MMO, let’s be real. But when they started posting promo videos and cinematics for the game, my Sith-loving ass immediately gravitated to that guy haha. And then, it turned out he had the same VA as The Architect from Dragon Age, and that was it for me.

If we’re talking about companions, then it was probably Malavai Quinn. Sith Warrior was the first class I got to 50, and Quinn was the first companion that I really got overly attached to haha.

The character(s) I never expected to love as much as I do now:

Most (not all, but most) of the “new” companions that came in with KOTFE and beyond. I was initially really sour when I realized we were losing all our class storyline companions, and they were being replaced with a new crew of Lana, Theron, Koth, my mother-in-law Senya, etc. Especially when they – at the time – said we’d eventually get our class companions back, but it would be a while. So I started KOTFE sure that I would hate the new crew because I would rather have the old one…. and ended up liking them quite a lot! Mostly, lol.

The character(s) everyone else loves that I don’t:

Doc is the main one, jesus christ. If you didn’t read my last post, I just really really really do not mesh well with overly sexual and Adult Humor-y characters who scold you with a “You’re no fun.” if your OC isn’t into it. Doc is the worst example of it that I’ve ever encountered. I always play a male JK, and the fact nearly all of his convos amount to, “Boy, you and me are going to be up to our eyeballs in vagina when this war ends, amirite?” “You don’t want that? Come on, the Jedi Code doesn’t say you can’t FUCK, live a little.” “You’re no fun. Well, more for me.” drives me NUTS. This combined with how he interacts with Kira just does me in. Shoves him out an airlock.

Dark Side Jaesa is another big one, albeit mainly for OOC reasons. I just hate the fact that she even exists, really. I get the appeal of a story where a Sith corrupts a Jedi to the Dark Side, but the way she does a total 180 into gross hedonism while Serving You always just makes me cringe. Plus there’s the fact that straight dudebro gamers are really nasty with her, and she’s the main companion I always see men put into the slave bikini outfit, and just yikes.

Also just a lot of one-off NPCs that everyone goes crazy for and ships their OCs with, but I  constantly forget who they even are lol. Attros Finn comes to mind. I don’t hate them! Just don’t get the appeal I guess.

The character(s) I love that everyone else hates:

Lord Scourge, although I’m not sure he’s really hated as much anymore. I just remember at launch, when all of the overly invested Revan stans absolutely HATED him because of what he did in the Revan novel, and then flooded the tags with vitriol over being “stuck” with him as a Knight, and having to hear about Revan in his companion convos. It was really, really tiresome! Maybe it’s because I never really cared that deeply about Revan as my personal character, but I could not understand the backlash.

Anyway, Lord Scourge is my favorite companion in the game by a long shot. I love the conversations you can have with him about the Jedi vs Sith, and I love the mutually respectful tone those conversations take. (Where other Bioware companions who disagree with you have a tendency to just go, “You’re wrong.” and shut you down.) The fact that he’s so tied in with the plot just makes me love him more, really.

The character(s) I used to love but don’t any longer:

Cytharat, Koth and Theron mostly. Although this takes a bit of explaining, and is a bit Discourse-y – because I really appreciate them as characters, but their role and Bioware’s decisions with them is what made me no longer love them.Here’s the thing: Bioware has a bad habit of introducing male characters that are bisexual, and then having them betray you, leading to situations where they either get murdered or vanish from the narrative entirely. Meanwhile, bisexual women like Lana are untouched and around forever.

I was overjoyed when I first saw Cytharat. Y'all know I’m a ho for purebloods, and the fact that he was Malgus’ apprentice was fascinating to me – and then he turned out to be a bi romance. I got very hyped for him, only to find out he dies like 5 minutes later – or if you save him, he’s never seen again. Huge letdown.

Koth was the first character I fell in love with of the new KOTFE crew – I even initiated a romance with him! – but it quickly became obvious there’s no way to play the expansion without him turning on you judgementally at some point or another. And then, hey big surprise, you can kill him or else he’s never seen again.

Theron I’ve loved since we first got to know him in the Forged Alliances content, but that whole storyline where he seemingly betrays you out of nowhere, only to later reveal he didn’t actually, idk. And then, once again, you either kill him or he disappears from the story. It felt like a weirdly shoehorned in plot for shock value, and robbed us of a second bi MOC character.

You see the trend here? I want to love these characters, but Bioware continually electing to do this shit with bi dudes is tiresome and makes me unwilling to invest any interest in the characters anymore.

The character(s) I would totally smooch:

None.

The character(s) I’d want to be like:

None really come to mind? I just want to be a Jedi, come on.

The character(s) I’d slap:

Hunter all day every day.

The pairing(s) that I love:

Haha, this question is hard, because most of the SWTOR ships I’m invested in are between my OCs and my friends’ OCs.

However.

SCOURGE / KNIGHT IS THE BIG ONE, THE ULTIMATE, THE ALL-TIME FAVORITE. It’s really hard to describe just how much I love this ship, and just how much time and energy I’ve invested into it over the past… 8 years wow……….. To the point of being almost territorial. And it’s also near impossible for me to talk about why I love it, because the version I ship is so personalized with my specific Jedi Knight, especially since it had to live exclusively in headcanon land for so long. Scourge is, more or less, my Knight’s support pillar and the thing that grounds him and keeps him humble, in a world where my Knight is surrounded by people who expect him to be a pure flawless messiah. But, I mean. How can you have a man look at your character and say, “I’ve waited 300 years to see your face.” and not immediately ship it. And then I finally got vindicated after all these years when it was made canon!

I really love Arcann / Knight for a lot of the same reasons as the above, but I just really adore his one (1) romance convo haha. Granted, yes he did a lot of fucked up things, but I was so grateful when he had like… a Zuko-esque redemption. Where he comes to your character and firmly believes he doesn’t deserve forgiveness, and especially doesn’t deserve affection, and is instead met with acceptance and a chance to grow and heal. That’s the good shit.

Others:

Lana / Warrior and Lana / Inquisitor are my particular jam. I endlessly enjoy the mutual respect between Lana and those particular PCs.

Malavai Quinn / Sith Warrior is a longtime fave, and although I DO love him with a female Warrior, I really do with he’d been an option for dudes as well. And I feel the same in reverse about Vette / Warrior – I do like her with a male Warrior, and it’s so sweet and wholesome and endearing, but man I wish she’d been an option for female Warriors.

I ship Risha with every woman – especially Vette and Sumalee – and will be salty until my grave that Risha / f!Smuggler isn’t possible, because I love Risha with the Smuggler but she gives me powerful WLW vibes.

Agent / Watcher Two is also a lowkey favorite, but I ALSO wish it could be done with a female Agent instead. Same with Agent / Raina Temple.

Agent / Vector is very sweet, but again, I will be salty until my grave that it couldn’t be done with a male Agent.

Can you guys sense a running theme here?

Finally: NGL I love Valkorion / Senya, even though that ended in pure disaster.

And people around here used to ship Keeper / Lokin, and tbh, I still kinda love it lol.

The pairing(s) that I despise:

In general terms, I fucking hate every single romance that involves the male PC romancing his padawan or underling, especially since most of them seem like very young girls. I don’t know why this is so pervasive in the game, but yikes Bioware. Consular/Nadia is the worst offender, but they’re all just cringe central for me.

But the big one is Agent / Hunter. This would have gotten me run off Tumblr back in the day, but god I hate this pairing. I mentioned in the last post that I just will never enjoy ships where the two characters actively want to murder each other, but. This just gets magnified for me with Agent/Hunter, where all the mind control and blatant abuse comes into play – and people have a tendency to write noncon rape fic of the two and present it as ~sexy rivalmance~, which is awful. Add to this the “no homo” reveal where Hunter turns out to be a woman, after getting everyone hyped about a dude flirting with their male character the whole game, and it’s just a huge No Thanks from me all around.

And for largely personal reasons I just don’t like seeing female Knights with Scourge. Listen, for YEARS  I was treated like a pariah for shipping Scourge with my male Knight, while being unable to find Scourge content that didn’t have a female Knight plastered all over him. Even though he wasn’t even a romance option one way or another, the way the fandom treated m!Knight/Scourge with disdain while ardently shipping f!Knight/Scourge was offputting as shit. And then, after years, he was made a romance option for women AND men, and all these awful people acted like they were robbed, the way people reacted when Kaidan and Jaal were made bi in Mass Effect. I’m so tired. I never want to see Scourge with a female Knight again.

[paladinpeterparker]

Your Last Words // Tyrus

Summary: Everyone has the last words they'll ever hear their soulmate say written on their wrist. For some, the words on their wrist are pretty mundane for last words. But, for Cyrus Goodman and TJ Kippen, the words on their wrists are not normal. Both Cyrus and TJ fear that they'll never find their soulmate. Then, one day, Cyrus finally realizes that his soulmate has been there all along.

[Hope you all enjoy this fic! This soulmate AU idea is based on a Tumblr post that I saw, so the credit for this idea goes to whoever came up with this idea. Also, on a side note: my apologies if my stupid fucking “keep reading” isn’t working and you have to scroll all the way past this. I can’t seem to get the “keep reading” to function. I think I’m cursed, I swear. Anyways.]

“Cyrus, I’m in love with you.” The words had been on Cyrus’s skin for as long as he could remember. That’s how it was for everyone. Everyone in the world had a sentence on their wrist. For some, it was a short sentence, even just a word. For some, it was a long, wordy sentence, full of beautiful words and memories. These words weren’t random. Each person had written on their wrists the last words that they would ever hear their soulmate say. Most people choose to keep the words on their wrists a secret. Some people choose to share them with close friends or family. Andi, Buffy, and Cyrus had all shared their words with one another. Andi’s was pretty normal. It said, “Thank you for everything.” Buffy’s was less normal: “I’m so, so sorry.” Cyrus’s was the one that confused all three of them. His didn’t seem like a person’s dying words. It didn’t seem like something that had been planned or thought out. It wasn’t anything really mundane, either. The words had confused him since the day he understood what they meant. What they really meant.

All that Cyrus knew was that no one had ever said those words to him, so at least he was sure that his soulmate was alive and was out there. Somewhere. He hadn’t really been confident that he would ever find his soulmate, though. At first, he had thought that Jonah could be his soulmate, but, over time, as he and Jonah grew closer, he realized that the idea of Jonah being his soulmate was completely far-fetched. After this, he was back to feeling as if he would never meet his soulmate. Then, TJ walked into his life. Cyrus wasn’t sure that TJ was his soulmate. He couldn’t be, anyway. He didn't know if TJ even liked him back. He didn’t even know if TJ liked boys. He figured that the idea of TJ being his soulmate was just as out-there as the idea of Jonah being his soulmate. But, he still had hope, and, the more his crush on TJ grew, the more he hoped that TJ was his soulmate. The words on Cyrus’s wrist unnerved him, though, especially if he thought that TJ could be his soulmate. Did that mean that he would never get to have a relationship with his soulmate? Would they die right after confessing their feelings? Part of Cyrus wanted TJ to be his soulmate. Then, part of him didn’t, because he knew that he may never get to fully love his soulmate -- they would probably die right before he got to say that he loved them, too.

—

“TJ, look out!” No one was sure what to think of the words written on TJ’s wrist. They didn’t seem to have any deeper meaning. They were just...ominous. TJ, of course, had nightmares about them. He would dream about his soulmate telling him to look out, then him getting shot. He would dream that he would hear his soulmate yell these words, then he would slip off a ladder and fall to his death. Sometimes, he would even dream that his soulmate would yell those words, then push him out of the path of a car or a bus, and they would end up dying just to save his life. TJ wasn’t sure he liked the concept of knowing the last words he would ever hear his soulmate say to him. He often wished that he could just live without knowing that he may lose his soulmate before he even knew that they were his soulmate. TJ’s words sometimes interfered with his daily life, too. During basketball, whenever a basketball came close to hitting TJ, he would hear someone yell, “TJ, look out!” and, instead of moving aside or ducking, he would look frantically for the source of the voice. While TJ may have been paranoid about the words written on his wrist, he wasn’t confident that he would ever find his soulmate. A year ago or so, TJ had had a crush on Marty, which hadn’t gone anywhere. He had thought that maybe they could be soulmates. But, it became obvious that Marty was into Buffy, and, after that, TJ moved on, and moved back to being sure that there was no one out there for him. Who knows? Maybe his soulmate was already gone. He was confident that he would never find a soulmate until that day at the swings when he got to know Cyrus. He didn’t let himself feel too much hope, though. Cyrus might not be his soulmate, and it would be foolish to think otherwise. As they grew closer, TJ tried to keep from hoping. He tried to keep from thinking that Cyrus could be his soulmate. Every time Cyrus smiled at him, every time they laughed together, TJ found it harder and harder to keep this hope at bay.

—

This hope was dangerous, at least, to TJ. Everyday, mundane moments with Cyrus could make his blood run cold just at the sound of three words.

One day, TJ finally saw how dangerous this hope was. The sun had just set, and TJ and Cyrus were sitting on the swings. They had gone out to eat to celebrate TJ getting a B on a math test, and had wound up on the playground.

Cyrus was swinging high on the swings, and TJ was simply watching him. Seeing Cyrus’s face lit up with laughter was somehow better than any math grade that he could have received. As TJ was looking at Cyrus, Cyrus glances over at TJ and caught him staring. For a brief moment, their eyes met, then, flustered, TJ looked down at his watch. “It’s getting pretty late, underdog. We should get going.” “Alright,” Cyrus said. “Just another minute of swinging. Please?” TJ rolled his eyes, pretending to be annoyed. “Fine.” He stood up and stretched. Without looking where he was going, he stepped forward, right in front of Cyrus’s swing. As Cyrus swung towards him, he yelled, “TJ, look out!” TJ jumped out of the way, moving before the words had a chance to set in. When they did, he felt the blood drain from his face. He looked up at Cyrus, who was watching him with a quizzical expression on his face. “What’s wrong?” Cyrus asked. “You look like you’ve just seen a ghost.” Seeing that Cyrus was okay, TJ felt his panic shift to anger. “Cyrus, what the hell?”

—

Cyrus wasn’t sure why TJ was reacting this way. He had simply told TJ to move out of the way so he wouldn’t get hit by a swinging Cyrus. Now, TJ looked simultaneously like he wanted to pass out and he wanted to scream. Cyrus wasn’t quite sure which he would do. “I’m sorry,” Cyrus sputtered. “I really am. I didn’t mean to offend you or anything.” Cyrus stepped closer to TJ, who was looking down at the ground. Cyrus reached out and put a hand on TJ’s shoulder; TJ was shaking. Concerned, Cyrus asked, “TJ, are you okay?” TJ shook his head. “I don’t think so.” Cyrus frowned. “Wanna talk about it?” “Not really,” TJ replied. The two boys were silent for a moment, then TJ spoke up. “Those words, Cyrus, they...” TJ trailed off. “They...what?” Cyrus asked. “What about them?” Before he spoke again, TJ reached down and pushed up the sleeve of his hoodie, pointing to the words on his wrist. “They’re the same words that are written here.” Without thinking, Cyrus stepped forward, closer to TJ, and examined the words on his wrist: “TJ, look out!” “Oh, yikes,” Cyrus said. “Sorry, then, for saying that.” “You don’t have to be sorry,” TJ said. “It’s not your fault.” Cyrus was still looking at the words scrawled on TJ’s skin. “Why did you freak out though, when I said it?” He paused, thinking. “It’s not like we’re soulmates or anything.” The words had come out before Cyrus could think them through. Before he could apologize, TJ had pulled his wrist away from Cyrus and had turned and begun to walk away. “TJ, wait!” Cyrus said. “I’m sorry!” He tried to catch up to TJ, but it was like a bad math problem: TJ’s speed was just fast enough that Cyrus couldn’t seem to catch him at all. As the two of them reached the road, where the park ended, TJ’s pace slowed. Cyrus finally caught up to him and grabbed TJ’s arm so he couldn’t run away before Cyrus could apologize. “TJ, I’m sorry,” Cyrus said, still slightly out of breath. “Then why did you say what you did, Cyrus?” TJ crossed his arms. “I don’t know, okay? I just…didn’t think—” TJ cut Cyrus off before he could finish. “Yeah, you didn’t think. Cyrus, why wouldn’t I freak out about hearing you say those words?” Cyrus shrugged. “I just...didn’t think we could be soulmates. You’re you, and I’m...me. I didn’t think that you thought we could be soulmates.” At that, TJ turned away from Cyrus again, wrenching his arm from Cyrus’s grasp. He began to walk closer to the road, as if he was trying to get as far away from Cyrus as he could. Cyrus felt like he was going to cry. He just kept saying the wrong things; he was messing everything up. He didn’t know how to say what he was feeling to TJ, because he knew that TJ might not feel the same. Finally, TJ turned back around and spoke. “Cyrus, I don’t just think we could be soulmates. I want us to be soulmates. And maybe you don’t feel the same. That’s fine.” “I-I…” Cyrus didn’t know how to respond. He felt frozen, as if he was in shock; he hadn’t expected TJ to say that. “You...like me?” Exasperated, TJ ran a hand through his hair. “Cyrus, I don’t just like you, okay? I...I love you.” “What?” Cyrus asked, still confused about why TJ was saying all of this, and why now. TJ looked at Cyrus, his hair reflecting an odd yellow light that Cyrus hadn’t seen there a moment ago. His gaze softened, as if all of the anger had gone away. “Cyrus, I’m in love with you.” Cyrus felt his heartbeat quicken. TJ felt the same way about him. TJ had just said that he was in love with Cyrus. Wait. TJ had just said he was in love with Cyrus. Cyrus couldn’t breathe. The words on his wrist seemed to prick at his skin. Before he could think, before he could move, before he could breathe again, Cyrus saw the headlights. He saw a car, speeding down the road, heading right for TJ. It was all happening too quickly. TJ didn’t seem to see the car, he was too focused on Cyrus. Cyrus felt rooted to the spot. He couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe, couldn’t do anything. Finally, he managed to scream, “TJ, look out!” A bright light. A scream. The squeal of brakes on the road. Cyrus’s head began to swim. He heard voices, yelling, crying. Then, everything went dark.

—

25 years later. Nothing was the same after that night. It was something that Cyrus knew he would never forget. It haunted his dreams, every night reminding him of what he hadn’t done. When he walked down the street, he sometimes saw TJ’s face among the crowd, young, still full of life, and with a wistful smile on his face, just like he had been the last time that Cyrus saw him. Then, Cyrus realized that it couldn’t be possible — TJ was dead. They had all tried to move on. For Andi and Buffy, it was a lot easier. They tried to support Cyrus, but they didn’t know how. They hadn’t lost their soulmates, so they didn’t know how it felt or how to help Cyrus. They were all sure that Andi ended up with her soulmate, as surprising as that was for everyone. Cyrus had attended the wedding just a few months ago. It lifted his spirits to see that Andi and Amber had found happiness with one another. Buffy’s was a different story. She found her soulmate, then she lost him. She had found out that Marty was her soulmate when it was too late. They had been dating for a few years, and everything had been going well. Then, out of the blue, they had a fight over something small, something so insignificant that Buffy had forgotten what it was about. Everything they had built together began to break down. One night, after a particularly bad argument, Buffy asked Marty to leave. He did leave, but on his way out the door, he turned and gave Buffy a final look, and said, “I do love you, Buffy. And for all of this, I’m so, so sorry.” Then, he turned and walked out the door. Marty didn’t die, of course, but those were the last words that Buffy ever heard him say to her. After they broke up, they never spoke again, and Buffy realized that she had lost her one true soulmate. Cyrus tried to be happy. He married a guy that he had met in college, and the two were happy together. And Cyrus was happy. But, then came the nights when TJ’s face appeared in his dreams, drowned in a sickly yellow light. The days when Cyrus tried to catch up to him on the streets, only to realize that TJ had never been there at all. There were the days when Cyrus would glimpse the words on his wrist, which had faded from black to a scar-like white, and think of what he had lost. But he was happy. That’s what he told himself.

[Sorry that this fic is a little angsty! But not really. Hope you all at least kind of enjoyed?]

[kpopfanfictrash]

Cordially, Jimin

Author: kpopfanfictrash

Pairing: You / Jimin

Rating: R (mentions of sex)

Word Count: 6,175

Summary: When you start work in your new office, the last thing you expect is a distraction. Especially not one as cute, witty and impossible to handle as Park Jimin. A story told through correspondence.  (fluff + humor)

From: Park, Jimin

To: Kim, Namjoon

Subject: Process Documentation

Tuesday, October 10th [10:23 AM]

Nonconfidential, Internal Use Only

Hey, Joon! I was thinking about the spreadsheet you sent over this morning. Do you think we should add some sort of documentation to it regarding the employee’s training status? Just in case there’s overlap between the sessions. Let me know what you think but otherwise, I agree with your changes. 

PS, are we still on for lunch?

All the best,

Jimin

Senior Analyst, Internal Audit

555-1013

From: Kim, Namjoon

To: Park, Jimin

Subject: Re: Process Documentation

Tuesday, October 10th [10:45 AM]

Nonconfidential, Internal Use Only

‘Sup, Park.

Yeah, throw the training into the excel spreadsheet. The executives will likely want to know.

Lunch is good, but I can only do a half hour. I’m leaving early to take the girlfriend out to dinner. 

Fondly,

Namjoon

Senior Analyst, Communications

555-0912

From: Park, Jimin

To: Kim, Namjoon

Subject: Re: Re: Process Documentation

Tuesday, October 10th [10:59 AM]

Nonconfidential, Internal Use Only

“’Sup, Park”? Dude, at least try to keep things professional. Who knows what HR monitors in our email. 

... and is tonight the night you and Fal finally... you know? 

Sincerest wishes,

Jimin

Senior Analyst, Internal Audit

555-1013

From: Kim, Namjoon

To: Park, Jimin

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Process Documentation

Tuesday, October 10th [11:15 AM] 

Nonconfidential, Internal Use Only

I just leaned over to ask HR and Kim’s response was: “f*** no, I don’t monitor your email. What do you think I’m made out of, free time?” Then she threw up the middle finger. 

Also, shut your pie hole about me and Fal. Talk about inappropriate work conversation.

Warmest thoughts,

Namjoon

Senior Analyst, Communications

555-0912

From: Park, Jimin

To: Kim, Namjoon

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Process Documentation

Tuesday, October 10th [11:21 AM]

Nonconfidential, Internal Use Only

Why’d you use asterisks if they’re not monitoring our emails?

Hugs and kisses,

Jimin

Senior Analyst, Internal Audit

555-1013

From: Kim, Namjoon

To: Park, Jimin

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Process Documentation

Tuesday, October 10th [11:29 AM]

Nonconfidential, Internal Use Only

Oh, right. Swearing is monitored. It sends a warning to IT, which sends an email to your manager. This is also triggered by writing s*x, pen15, or the jolly, green giant’s name. 

Steer clear of those, Jiminie and you’ll be fine.

Ardently yours,

Namjoon

Senior Analyst, Communications

555-0912

From: Park, Jimin

To: Kim, Namjoon

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Process Documentation

Tuesday, October 10th [11:34 AM]

Nonconfidential, Internal Use Only

I thought you were the jolly, green giant? Tall, relatively new to the office (green). It fits. Ha!

Anyways, for lunch I thought we could meet – oh, sweet lord. Who is that? 

F***. Got to go.

Cordially,

Jimin

Senior Analyst, Internal Audit

555-1013

From: Kim, Namjoon

To: Park, Jimin

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Process Documentation

Tuesday, October 10th [11:37 AM]

Nonconfidential, Internal Use Only

What? What?? JIMIN. You can’t just leave me hanging. Who did you see? What did you see? Was it something outside of your office window? Is the Avengers finally happening? Is the city under attack?

... I’m going to k*ll you at lunch. 

Impatiently yours,

Namjoon

Senior Analyst, Communications

555-0912

Tuesday, October 10th [11:45 AM]

Jimin: sorry, man. I just saw the most beautiful girl in the world. You know how my office overlooks the street and sees into the building next door?

Namjoon: you little sack of fungus. How dare you leave me hanging like that

Namjoon: … but yes, I do know. Go on.

Jimin: cool. So, there I was sitting in my office. Contemplating world peace, the usual.

Namjoon: translation – thinking about jacking off when you get home

Jimin: sometimes your words hurt, you know

Namjoon: apologies, jimini muffin

Jimin: I swear to god.

Namjoon: ok, ok – sorry. Tell me about this girl

Jimin: you mean tell you about my future wife?

Namjoon: you use that phrase too liberally, Jimin. Your dog walker is not your future wife. Your florist is not your future wife. This random chick across the street is not your future wife.

Jimin: no, Peaches’ dog walker is not my future wife; no, Fran is not my future wife. But this random girl is – LISTEN. She’s exactly my type, Joon. She looks smart. You think that she’s smart?

Namjoon: Is she wearing glasses?

Jimin: no

Namjoon: Then, no.

Jimin: she could be wearing contacts

Namjoon: Then, yes.

Jimin: okay, I’ll cave. Why are you basing her intelligence off whether or not she wears glasses?

Namjoon: wearing glasses implies she stayed up late reading in her youth, subsequently ruining her vision

Jimin: or… she didn’t eat enough carrots

Namjoon: or that

Jimin: I think that she’s new there – she must be; she looks really worried. It’s adorable, she keeps on biting her bottom lip. I think the Angry, Red-Haired Woman Who Yells a Lot is her boss because she keeps stopping by her cubicle to talk.

Namjoon: Big Red is her boss? Damn. Good luck to your future wife

Jimin: omg she has Gudetama pencils. Namjoon

Namjoon: Marry her, Jimin. Okay, enough creeping – let’s go and get lunch. I’m starving.

Tuesday, October 10th

Hello. I am typing. Typing, typing, typing.

Just typing on my brand-new LAPTOP the company PROVIDED for me! Granted, it’s to do my work, I know but it’s just so SHINY and NEW. Catherine even gave me a welcome package of office supplies when I got here. It has paper, pens (not as good as my Gudetama ones), a notepad, post-it notes. It’s adorable. Everyone has been so welcoming today – though the guy in the mail room did warn me that Catherine spits when she yells.

I’m not sure what to do with that information.

How do I shield myself from spit-yelling? Gah, I feel stupid for writing this note diary-format. I’m trying to pretend like I’m busy, since I haven’t been given any official work yet. Oh, wait! Catherine just sent over training for this afternoon. Perfect.

Hm. What now. What now, what now, what – OH.

Oh, god. Oh, yikes. HELP.

I am… looking at my laptop. I am looking at my laptop and concentrating on writing. I am not making eye contact with the very handsome man across the street.

Listen. You don’t know me, Laptop but I swear I’m usually a very level headed individual. It’s one of my best qualities – Y/N, the stable, the realistic. I don’t typically subscribe to the notion that looks make a person. But Laptop, wow. This guy. He’s – how do I describe? He’s got blondish hair. On the shorter side. I didn’t get a great look at his face, but from what I did see, he looked – kind? Is that a weird thing to say? His face looked kind.

I don’t know how else to describe him. He was stretching, arms overhead and I swear, Laptop, I don’t normally say things like this but – WHAT. AN. ASS. ON. THAT. MAN.

WOW. You could bounce a quarter off that thing.

Oh my god. What am I doing??

Okay. Okay. Catherine is here, we’re going to lunch. I –

Thursday, October 12th  [3:45 PM]

Office Instant Message [3:47 PM]

Min, Yoongi: hey

Office Instant Message [3:48 PM]

Park, Jimin: hello, sunshine

Office Instant Message [3:49 PM]

Min, Yoongi: gag me. Listen, you want to shoot hoops after work?

Office Instant Message [3:51 PM]

Park, Jimin: yeah! Where?

Office Instant Message [3:52 PM]

Min, Yoongi: Bryant Park. I’ll drop a pin to your cell. John Cook is coming, so bring your A-game

Office Instant Message [3:53 PM]

Park, Jimin: … who?

Office Instant Message [3:53 PM]

Park, Jimin: wtf? Do you mean Jungkook?

Office Instant Message [3:54 PM]

Min, Yoongi: yeah, that’s what I said

Office Instant Message [3:55 PM]

Park, Jimin: you’re one weird dude, Yoongi. But sure, see you then

“Hey, sis, it’s me. Sorry, I’m leaving you a voice note – I know you hate those – but I’m currently walking with both hands full, so it couldn’t be helped. Now you can’t say I never call you back! Because here I am, calling you back! Anyways, the third day went well. A lot of training, some overly wordy manuals – you know, the fun stuff. I have my own cubicle though, which is exciting and I have a window. It overlooks – well, the street and an office building. Actually… there’s this really cute guy in that building, Megan. I know – it’s totally creepy to spy on him, but I can’t help it! He’s right there! And he has the most amazing smile, I – wait, oh my god. It’s him. It’s him, Megan, the guy from the window! He’s playing basketball in Bryant Park, along with a bunch of other guys and I, OOF –"

Thursday, October 12th [8:35 PM]

Namjoon: how’s that egg on your face?

Jimin: how’s that who on my what now

Namjoon: Egg on your face. It’s what you say when someone looks foolish or embarrassed. You, I imagine, look both right now

Jimin: choke on a dick

Namjoon: is that what you say to your friend who loves you

Jimin: to my friend who loves torturing me, yeah

Namjoon: I just keep on seeing your FACE, man. You just whammed that poor girl smack in the stomach hahaha

Jimin: IT WAS AN ACCIDENT

Jimin: fuck

Jimin: I didn’t mean to :(

Jimin: I was trying to throw the ball to Yoongi… and she was so pretty… and my hand slipped. THE BALL WAS POSSESSED

Namjoon: … you done?

Jimin: with living? Yes. With this conversation? Also yes.

Namjoon: cheer up, man. She seemed fine after

Jimin: god

Namjoon: Jungkook helped her off the court, it’s all good

Jimin: fucking John Cook

Namjoon: what

Jimin: nothing

Jimin: … do you think she was into him?

Namjoon: oh my god. Are you serious?

Jimin: no

Jimin: maybe

Jimin: fuck, what am I doing?

Namjoon: idk man, go to sleep

Jimin: it’s not even nine 

Namjoon: shhhhh

Jimin: … ok, fine I’ll go to sleep

Saturday, October 14th [11:10 AM]

Jungkook: hey, Jimin

Jimin: hey, what’s up Jeon

Jungkook: not much

Jungkook: listen, you know that girl you hit with the ball on Thursday?

Jimin: … yeah

Jungkook: lol that was embarrassing

Jimin: do you have a point

Jungkook: she was pretty cute, right?

Jimin: yeah, pretty cute

Jimin: why are you telling me this, anyways? Is it sharing hour?

Jungkook: damn, man. Can’t I let my feelings out? Anyways – we’ve been texting and I was thinking about asking her out. Her name is Y/N, she works in the building across the street from yours!

Jimin: ok

Jimin: ... again, why are you telling me this?

Jungkook. Getting to that. When I told Namjoon, he said you have dibs

Jimin: what?? On Y/N?

Jungkook: did the two of you like, hook up or something

*Jimin has added Namjoon to the chat*

Jimin: Joon, wtf are you telling Jungkook about me

Namjoon: ‘sup, peons

Namjoon: nothing

Namjoon: just that you’re in love with a girl you’ve never met

Jungkook: wait, they’ve never met? Idk if that constitutes dibs, man

Namjoon: yes, it does. Dibs is granted unto whichever gentleman doth see the lady first

Jungkook: whoa, sees? That’s implied dibs! That goes against the whole spirit of the idea! You must call dibs, in order to have it

Jimin: this is the stupidest argument we’ve ever had

Jungkook: Agreed. No dibs

Namjoon: Jimin, what do you think?

Jungkook: Jimin, just let me bang her. Once. You can have her after that

*Jimin has left the chat*

Namjoon: don’t do it, bro. He really likes her

Jungkook: he’s never even TALKED to her!

Namjoon: respect the code, bro. Respect the code.

Namjoon: besides don’t you have like, a list of girls you can call

Jungkook: 😉

Namjoon: gross

Monday, October 16th

Week two at the office.

Everything is going well. No major screw-ups, which is good and I completed my first Excel assignment, so basically... I’m on the road to success. Who knew there were so many ways you can add? It’s hard to type though, since I screwed up my pinky finger. Well – I didn’t screw up my finger. I was walking home from work and this guy pummeled me with a basketball.

Okay, but get this – the guy who hit me? THE SAME ONE FROM THE WINDOW, LAPTOP. The guy I wrote you about on my first day! He’s even cuter in person but... ah, I don’t think he likes me. After the whole Basketball Incident, he barely even looked my way. It was his friend who helped me off the court – Jungkook is his name – he even gave me a band-aid and apologized for his friend.

Jungkook’s cute. He’s nice, I gave him my number and we talked a bit. But Window guy, Laptop. Window guy’s cheeks turned bright red haha it was adorable, I – oh, shit.

Don’t look now, Laptop (I SAID, DON’T LOOK!) but it’s him. Window guy is back. He’s standing in the middle of his office and stretching his arms. He’s lowering himself to the desk and holy shit.................. he’s doing push-ups. PUSH-UPS.

What did I do to deserve this?!

I – I’ll be back, Laptop.

From: Park, Jimin

To: Kim, Namjoon

Subject: Important!

Tuesday, October 17th [2:11 PM]

Non-Confidential, Internal Use Only

She has peonies on her desk. They’re pink.

Kind regards,

Jimin

Senior Analyst, Internal Audit

555-1013

From: Kim, Namjoon

To: Park, Jimin

Subject: Re: Important!

Tuesday, October 17th [2:24 PM]

Non-Confidential, Internal Use Only

… are you kidding me? You can’t title the email important and then say that.

Your ex-friend,

Namjoon

Senior Analyst, Communications

555-0912

From: Park, Jimin

To: Kim, Namjoon

Subject: Re: Re: Important!

Tuesday, October 17th [2:28 PM]

Non-Confidential, Internal Use Only

That was important.

Thank you,

Jimin

Senior Analyst, Internal Audit

555-1013

From: Kim, Namjoon

To: Park, Jimin

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Important!

Tuesday, October 17th [2:32 PM]

Non-Confidential, Internal Use Only

Remind me to get you a dictionary for your birthday. That’s not what the word important means. So, does this mean you’re back to liking her? I thought you told Jungkook to have at her.

Cheers,

Namjoon

Senior Analyst, Communications

555-0912

From: Park, Jimin

To: Kim, Namjoon

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Important!

Tuesday, October 17th [2:40 PM]

Non-Confidential, Internal Use Only

Listen. I have no claim upon this woman. I do not own the beautiful, wonderful Window girl. She is a person unto herself, master of her own fate! If she wants to date Jeon Jungkook, so be it.

She should know though, that his feet smell.

xoxo,

Jimin

Senior Analyst, Internal Audit

555-1013

From: Kim, Namjoon

To: Park, Jimin

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Important!

Tuesday, October 17th [2:46 PM]

Non-Confidential, Internal Use Only

Ah, the high road. What’s it like up there? Lofty? Breezy?

As a gift, I found something for you: www.instagram.com/peoniesandparkas

Enjoy,

Namjoon

Senior Analyst, Communications

555-0912

From: Park, Jimin

To: Kim, Namjoon

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Important!

Tuesday, October 17th [2:50 PM]

Non-Confidential, Internal Use Only

What. Namjoon, how did you find this?

Where did you – oh, god. She’s adorable. She has a puppy, she likes chocolate. I like chocolate. Namjoon, its fate, its kismet, its meant to be. Our children would be so chubby.

Why did you send me this??

Pissed off and in love,

Jimin

Senior Analyst, Internal Audit

555-1013

Wednesday, October 18th [10:42 AM]

Megan: how’s the finger?

Y/N: not broken! 100% doctor confirmed, it’s just a mild sprain. Should be okay in a few weeks.

Megan: did the delinquent ever apologize?

Y/N: Megan!

Y/N: I told you yesterday, he did apologize. He just, you know… ran away after

Megan: like I said – idiot

Y/N: I doubt he’s an idiot, Megan. I can see into his office and he wears suits to work. That’s the indicator of a very important person.

Megan: wow.

Megan: I can’t believe you’re crushing on the guy who sprained your finger

Y/N: I AM NOT CRUSHING ON HIM

Megan: I’m sorry, I couldn’t hear you over the sound of your love

Y/N: fight me 

Y/N: I’m sorry, that was uncalled for

Megan: lolol

Megan: so, he works in the office next door?

Y/N: yeah

Y/N: sorry, was multitasking.

Megan: No problem. Have you ever thought about looking the guy up?

Y/N: what? Look him up where?

Megan: On LinkedIn. You already know his company, his face. Just… browse their list of current employees

Y/N: omg what!! That’s so fucking creepy

Megan: You’re right. Much less creepy to watch him do push-ups in his office

Y/N: … I told you that in confidence

Y/N: so much for sisterly love

Megan: dooooooo it

Y/N: … already am

Megan: YSE!

Megan: *YES!

Y/N: *drumroll please*

Y/N: Park Jimin, 24 years old. Senior Analyst of Internal Audit, joined the company two years ago. Is proficient in English, Korean and Microsoft Office 2013. Hobbies include: cooking, chasing his dog in the park for exercise and anime.

Megan: wow, what a dork

Y/N: You wouldn’t think that if you saw his ass.

Megan: omg

Megan: you love him so much

Y/N: asldfkajskldfa

Y/N: I DON’T EVEN KNOW HIM

Thursday, October 19th [1:00 PM]

Office Instant Message [1:01 PM]

Park, Jimin: well, Namjoon. It finally happened.

Office Instant Message [1:03 PM]

Kim, Namjoon: You finally got that growth spurt you’ve been hoping for?

Office Instant Message [1:04 PM]

Park, Jimin: I’m small but I’m feisty. I’d kick your a$$ in a fight

Office Instant Message [1:05 PM]

Kim, Namjoon: lol, no need for that. What happened?

Office Instant Message [1:06 PM]

Park, Jimin: I talked to her.

Office Instant Message [1:07 PM]

Kim, Namjoon: holy f*** WHAT?! When?

Office Instant Message [1:07 PM]

Park, Jimin: just now, over lunch. I went to that deli, you know the one?

Office Instant Message [1:08 PM]

Kim, Namjoon: the one with the cashier, Taehyung, who sings?

Office Instant Message [1:09 PM]

Park, Jimin: that’s the one. So, I walk in and she’s standing by the door. Confused as hell by Taehyung’s rendition of Take Me to Lunch (a poignant rendition of Hozier’s Take Me to Church)

Office Instant Message [1:10 PM]

Kim, Namjoon: well, sure. Who isn’t confused by that. Anyways, what did you say??

Office Instant Message [1:11 PM]

Park, Jimin: I apologized for hitting her, like twelve times. She sprained her pinky finger – can you believe that? I felt like complete shit when she told me

Office Instant Message [1:12 PM]

Kim, Namjoon: Wow. You are an idiot. What did you do next? What did you say?

Office Instant Message [1:14 PM]

Park, Jimin: God, I don’t even remember. It happened so fast. I just – she’s so pretty, Namjoon. Not in a cheesy, movie-star way but in an everything-she-does-is-real way. You know? God, I don’t even know. I just keep picturing her in my room… my car… my jacket

Office Instant Message [1:15 PM]

Kim, Namjoon: I thought you said not cheesy

Office Instant Message [1:16 PM]

Park, Jimin: shut up

Office Instant Message [1:17 PM]

Park, Jimin: I can’t stop smiling

Office Instant Message [1:25 PM]

Kim, Namjoon: Sorry, the boss stopped by my desk. Did you ask her out?

Office Instant Message [1:26 PM]

Park, Jimin: no

Office Instant Message [1:27 PM]

Kim, Namjoon: you’re the worst

Office Instant Message [1:28 PM]

Park, Jimin: I know this

From: Jordan, Elizabeth

To: Y/L/N, Y/N

Subject: Apologies

Monday, October 23rd [4:06 PM]

Non-Confidential, Internal Use Only

Hi Y/N,

I’m the one who messed up that PO form. It was my fault, but when Catherine asked who did it, I just froze. I couldn’t think, let alone speak and I know she blamed you for the mistake; I heard her yelling over in your cubicle. If you’d like, I can set things straight with her. 

I’ll fix it; I promise to tell Catherine it was my fault.

I am so unbelievably sorry.

Thank you,

Liz

Analyst, Purchasing

555-1114

From: Y/L/N, Y/N

To: Jordan, Elizabeth

Subject: Re: Apologies

Monday, October 23rd [4:35 PM]

Non-Confidential, Internal Use Only

Hi Liz,

I appreciate the apology. I know last week was stressful and busy for everyone – a lot of things slipped through the cracks. I’d like to just let this go, but if something like it happens again – I’d appreciate the clarification. Here’s hoping for a better week, huh?

Best,

Y/N

Analyst, Training

555-0821

From: Park, Jimin

To: 9th Street Florist

Subject: Urgent Order

Monday, October 23rd [5:30 PM]

Non-Confidential, External

Hello Fran,

I’d like to place an order: one (1) bouquet of blush pink peonies, please.

Recipient name: Y/N

Address: 1010 LaSalle Street, Floor 16

Timing: Lunchtime, around noon if possible

You can just add this to my account. Thank you!

Sincerely,

Jimin

Senior Analyst, Internal Audit

555-1013

From: 9th Street Florist

To: Park, Jimin

Subject: Re: Urgent Order

Monday, October 23rd [6:30 PM]

Jimin!

You adorable angel, of course! What would you like the card to say, dear? Oh, you know what – I’ll just give you a ring on your mobile.

Kisses,

Fran

555-8934

Co-Owner of 9th Street Florist

Tuesday, October 24th [5:42 PM]

Y/N: Megan, you’re not going to believe what happened today

Megan: What?

Y/N: Someone sent me flowers

Megan: Flowers??

Y/N: FLOWERS

Megan: But who??

Y/N: Idk. There’s no card.

Y/N: Wait, there is a card!

Megan: What does it say??

Y/N: It reads, “Here’s hoping your week gets better.”

Megan: … that’s all?

Y/N: It’s a very short card.

Megan: No name?

Y/N: No name. I have no idea who sent them?

Megan: Hm

Megan: Maybe from that Jungkook guy? You two were texting, right?

Y/N: yeah, but then he just stopped 

Y/N: Asshole. I doubt it was him lol

Megan: What about hot window guy? Did you guys ever talk after that one day at the deli?

Y/N: No :( Idk, I thought our conversation was nice… but maybe I was boring.

Megan: Shut up. I hate it when you repeat anything that stupid, nincompoop ex-boyfriend of yours used to say. He’s a fucking turd. You’re amazing.

Y/N: Gah. Thanks, sis

Y/N: Either way, I doubt it was him

Megan: Maybe they’re from Mom. Did you tell her about your shit day yesterday?

Y/N: oh.

Y/N: you’re right. They’re probably from Mom

Megan: You sound disappointed. Who did you think they were from?

Y/N: nothing

Y/N: no one

Wednesday, October 25th [8:35 AM]

Office Instant Message [8:35 AM]

Park, Jimin: oh my god, I’m so stupid

Office Instant Message [8:40 AM]

Kim, Namjoon: sure

Office Instant Message [8:40 AM]

Kim, Namjoon: but why this time?

Office Instant Message [8:41 AM]

Park, Jimin: I forgot to put my name on the card

Office Instant Message [8:43 AM]

Kim, Namjoon: Wow.

Office Instant Message [8:44 AM]

Kim, Namjoon: You are stupid. How do you get out of bed in the morning without a map?

Office Instant Message [8:45 AM]

Park, Jimin: shut up

Office Instant Message [8:45 AM]

Park, Jimin: … very carefully

From: Wine, Fallon

To: Park, Jimin

Subject: Life Advice

Thursday, October 26th [11:40 AM]

Jimin!

I’ve been thinking about what Joonie said to me last night.

He explained about your Window girl and Jiminie, you just need to talk to her! I know you did that one time in the deli – or was it two times? – but listen to me! 

You! Are! Cute! As! A! Button! Any girl would be lucky to have you. I mean, half of my friends do want you, but that’s beside the point. You need to get over whatever this insecure nonsense is and just ask her out.

That’s all.

Love,

Fallon

PS, has she worn that coat from Instagram into the office yet? Is it really that bright shade of red?

From: Park, Jimin

To: Kim, Namjoon

Subject: What is wrong with you

Thursday, October 26th [1:15 PM]

Non-Confidential, Internal Use Only

You told Fal?? You showed her Y/N’s INSTAGRAM??

Whatever happened to boundaries

The opposite-of-warm wishes,

Jimin

Senior Analyst, Internal Audit

555-1013

From: Kim, Namjoon

To: Park, Jimin

Subject: Re: What is wrong with you

Thursday, October 26th [1:31 PM]

Non-Confidential, Internal Use Only

Boundaries? Oh, the irony. Have you peeped through any good windows lately?

Devotedly,

Namjoon

Senior Analyst, Communications

555-0912

From: Park, Jimin

To: Kim, Namjoon

Subject: Re: Re: What is wrong with you

Thursday, October 26th [1:40 PM]

Non-Confidential, Internal Use Only

… I hate when my past wrongs come back to haunt me.

Embarrassedly,

Jimin

Senior Analyst, Internal Audit

555-1013

Thursday, October 26th [5:10 PM]

“Hey, Megan! It’s me, Y/N. Sorry to leave you another voice note, but I’m carrying home these peonies and my hands are full. Anyways, I was just – oh, hey!’

‘Hi.’

‘Uh, what are you doing here? It’s Jimin, right?’

‘Yeah, Jimin. Y/N, right?’

‘Right.’

‘I, uh – I’m here because I’m waiting for a friend who works in this building. His name is Hoseok, do you know him?’

‘Can’t say that I do, but then again – I’m new. He could just work on a different floor.’

‘Ah, right. What floor are you on?’

‘Sixteen.’

‘Gotcha. Hoseok is on ten – but that’s funny.’

‘What is?’

‘Well, I work over in that building.’

‘That one on the corner?’

‘That’s it! I also work on the sixteenth floor. What are the odds? What side do you face?’

‘Right over… there.’

‘No way. Haha, my office is right … there.’

‘So close! I bet that if you looked, you could see me.’

‘I bet that I could. Maybe I’ll look for you tomorrow.’

‘That would be nice. I – uh, is your friend coming down, or…?’

‘Ah, right. Yeah, Hoseok shouldn’t be more than a few minutes. There’s this dog store by his place I’ve been meaning to go to.’

‘Dog store? You have a dog?’

‘Yeah, her name is – ah, this is embarrassing. Her name is Peaches.’

‘Peaches?’

‘Don’t laugh! Haha but yeah, Peaches. My friend’s girlfriend kept on calling her that as a joke and it kind of stuck.’

‘Ah... your friend’s girlfriend? Not yours?’

‘Nope. Me, I’m hopelessly single.’

‘Except for Peaches.’

‘Well, sure. Except for Peaches.’

‘Interesting.’

‘Yeah… those flowers are pretty. Peonies, right?’

‘Right… yes. Peonies. Thank you – they were a gift.’

‘Really? From your boyfriend?’

‘Nope. I think from my Mom.’

‘You think? Haha, isn’t that something you should know?’

‘Well, she keeps saying she didn’t send them – but come on. Who else would send me flowers?’

‘Well, I – ’

‘Jimin!’

‘Hey… Hoseok.’

‘Oh, shit! I’m still recording, how embar – ’

Friday, October 27th [9:37 AM]

Jimin: Namjoon. She left me a post-it note message.

Namjoon: a… what?

Jimin: A post-it note message. A message written entirely in post-it notes on her window.

Namjoon: what

Namjoon: what does the message say?

Jimin: “can you see this?”

Jimin: I can

Jimin: I can see it, Namjoon

Namjoon: oh my god, she’s just as dorky as you are

Namjoon: also, did I miss something? Since when do you two converse?

Jimin: since I took Fal’s advice and went to see her

Namjoon: you WHAT?

Namjoon: … there’ll be no living with her after this.

Jimin: Yeah, I went. I told her about Peaches and then chickened out before I could tell her about the flowers

Namjoon: wow

Namjoon: you’re still an idiot. But maybe only half of one

Jimin: thx man, I’m gonna cry

Jimin: … she left me a message

Jimin: 😊😊

Monday, October 30th [10:37 AM]

Office Instant Message [10:37 AM]

Jordan, Elizabeth: hey, Y/N! Coffee last week was fun. I was wondering if maybe you wanted to make it a daily thing?

Office Instant Message [10:39 AM]

Y//L/N, Y/N: yes, of course! Sounds perfect :)

Office Instant Message [10:40 AM]

Jordan, Elizabeth: amazing.

Office Instant Message [10:40 AM]

Jordan, Elizabeth: on a side note, have you looked out the window today?

Office Instant Message [10:41 AM]

Y//L/N, Y/N: not today, no – why?

Office Instant Message [10:43 AM]

Jordan, Elizabeth: ohh haha okay, long story. So, there’s this super-hot guy in the building next door that we all creep on. Today he’s wearing some sort of fuzzy yellow blanket and put this message in post-it notes on the window?? It’s the oddest thing

Office Instant Message [10:44 AM]

Y//L/N, Y/N: omg. Gudetama!! It’s a Gudetama blanket!

Office Instant Message [10:45 AM]

Jordan, Elizabeth: Gude-what now?

Office Instant Message [10:46 AM]

Y//L/N, Y/N: it’s hard to explain lol

Office Instant Message [10:47 AM]

Y//L/N, Y/N: it’s this beloved, depressed, Japanese egg

Office Instant Message [10:48 AM]

Jordan, Elizabeth: uh haha okay

Office Instant Message [10:49 AM]

Jordan, Elizabeth: what about his message? What do you think it means?

Office Instant Message [10:49 AM]

Jordan, Elizabeth: “I like your pens.”

Office Instant Message [10:51 AM]

Y//L/N, Y/N: asldkfjalskdjaf

“Hello, this is Kim Seokjin. You have reached the front desk of Bangtan Incorporated. For quality assurance purposes, the following phone call will be recorded and monitored. How may I help you today?”

“Hi, there! I need to speak to Park Jimin. He’s the Senior Analyst of Internal Audit for Bangtan Incorporated.”

“Absolutely, ma’am. To what should I say this is referring?”

“Gudetama.”

“Like – the egg?”

“Yes, Seokjin. Like the egg. Tell him that it’s very important.”

“I – uh, sure. I mean, wonderful – your happiness is our top priority. Connecting you to Mr. Park now.”

Monday, November 6th [9:30 AM]

Office Instant Message [9:30 AM]

Kim, Namjoon: why did you text Fal, asking her what kind of coffee girls drink

Office Instant Message [9:32 AM]

Park, Jimin: why do you and Fal tell each other EVERYTHING

Office Instant Message [9:33 AM]

Kim, Namjoon: get your own damn girlfriend if you want to keep secrets

Office Instant Message [9:34 AM]

Park, Jimin: I just wanted to know for science

Office Instant Message [9:35 AM]

Kim, Namjoon: I know you’re not seeing anyone right now, Jimin but you have met a girl, right? Get her normal coffee.

Office Instant Message [9:37 AM]

Park, Jimin: just… have Fal answer me, okay?

Office Instant Message [9:39 AM]

Kim, Namjoon: she says get her plain coffee but buy different creamers/sugar so she can make her own

Office Instant Message [9:40 AM]

Park, Jimin: brilliant. Give Fal the good lovin’ tonight, Joon

Office Instant Message [9:42 AM]

Kim, Namjoon: I’m going to kill you

Office Instant Message [9:43 AM]

Park, Jimin: Got to catch me first. I’m quick

From: Park, Jimin

To: Jung, Hoseok

Subject: Question

Monday, November 6th [6:50 PM]

Non-Confidential, External

Hey, Hoseok!

I was wondering if you could do me a favor. I need to drop something off at a friend’s desk in your building. Could you let me in tomorrow morning?

Sincerely,

Jimin

Senior Analyst, Internal Audit

555-1013

From: Jung, Hoseok

To: Park, Jimin

Subject: Re: Question

Monday, November 6th [7:05 PM]

Non-Confidential, External

Sure thing! Just let me know the time.

Side note – Yoongi keeps asking when we’re playing ball again. Are you and Jungkook over your little spat yet?

Regards,

Hoseok

Lead, IT Security

555-0218

Tuesday, November 7th

Laptop – he left me coffee.

He keeps on denying it. I called him earlier (that Kim Seokjin at reception is such a sweetheart) and he said it wasn’t him – but Laptop, I could see him laughing through the window! He was grinning that stupid handsome smile, so I know it was him. I mentioned to him last week that my building was cold and what was his response? Drink more coffee.

I know it was Jimin – that’s his name, Laptop, Jimin – I just know it.

Laptop. I think I might be falling for him.

 Wednesday, November 8th [3:01 PM]

Office Instant Message [3:01 PM]

Park, Jimin: I can’t stop thinking about her. I’m going crazy

Office Instant Message [3:02 PM]

Kim, Namjoon: then ask her the f*** out and stop bothering me

Office Instant Message [3:03 PM]

Park, Jimin: what if she doesn’t like me though

Office Instant Message [3:05 PM]

Park, Jimin: what if she just puts up with me because the flirting is funny, but when I ask her out – it becomes too real and she bails

Office Instant Message [3:06 PM]

Kim, Namjoon: Jimin

Office Instant Message [3:07 PM]

Kim, Namjoon: I am only going to say this once, so listen

Office Instant Message [3:08 PM]

Park, Jimin: okay, listening

Office Instant Message [3:10 PM]

Kim, Namjoon: You’re an amazing guy. This girl has been flirting with you for weeks. You like her, right? Even if she doesn’t like you – which is dumb, because she does – do you really want to live the rest of your life watching her from behind glass?

Office Instant Message [3:12 PM]

Park, Jimin: huh

Office Instant Message [3:14 PM]

Park, Jimin: for being such a dick, you’re surprisingly insightful

Office Instant Message [3:15 PM]

Kim, Namjoon: annnd the moment’s over

Office Instant Message [3:15 PM]

Kim, Namjoon: go get laid

From: Min, Yoongi

To: Y/L/N, Y/N

Subject: Idk what to title this

Thursday, November 9th [4:00 PM]

Non-Confidential, External

Hi Y/N,

Listen. This is probably weird, since we’ve barely spoken. I got your email address from Namjoon, who got it from Hoseok – and now I’m realizing you might not know who either of those people are. Well. I’m sending this as a formal request to please ask out Park Jimin. He’s madly in love with you, and the stress is really throwing off his basketball game.

I need to win these games, Y/N. If we lose, the youth win.

Don’t let the youth win.

In summary: ask out Jimin, save my game. Oh, yeah – and have a good day

Best,

Yoongi

Manager, HR

555-0309

From: Y/L/N, Y/N

To: 9th Street Florist

Subject: Order

Thursday, November 9th [5:40 PM]

Non-Confidential, External

Hi there!

I’d like to place an order for one (1) bouquet of peach-colored daisies. I would like this order sent to Park Jimin, Bangtan Incorporated at 1011 LaSalle Street, Floor 16. I’ll stop by after work to pay. If the card could read, “I really loved the peonies,” that would be great.

Thank you!

Best,

Y/N

Analyst, Training

555-0821

Friday, November 10th [5:20 PM]

“Hi, you’ve reached Jimin. Leave a message after the beep. BEEEE – hahaha just kidding – ”  

BEEEEEEP.

“Hey, it’s Namjoon. If you don’t change that annoying-ass voicemail of yours, I’m going to throttle you. I’m calling because we were supposed to leave for Seokjin’s happy hour together. Well, I’m in your office now – and surprise, surprise, you’re not here. Damn, your laptop and bag are gone, too! Did you just leave without me – oh! Shit! I just looked out your window. Oh my god, is that you? Is this it? Are you finally doing it? I see you – listen, Jimin, you should really trim your hair – but oh my god, you’re running. YOU’RE RUNNING – that’s her! That’s Y/N! You’re … tapping her on the shoulder! Oh crap, you scared her. You’re – YES, JIMIN! YES! FUCK, YES! Wow, man. That is some kiss. That’s Notebook-level shit, right there. Okay. You can stop. Fuck, man – are you scared she’s going off to war? I – oh. Alright. I see how it is. Nice, man. Ve-ry nice. I’m going to hang up now, because I feel super creepy watching this. Bye.”

Monday, November 13th

Hey, Laptop.

He got the flowers I sent him.

We kissed.

I – we’re dating.

😊😊

From: Wine, Fallon

To: Park, Jimin

Subject: Life Advice 2

Friday, December 15th [4:16 PM]

Jimin, dear. What kind of wine does Y/N drink? I’m going to the store after work and need your input. Red would probably go better with the pasta, but what kind of red?

Love,

Fallon

Friday, December 15th [4:34 PM]

Office Instant Message [4:34 PM]

Park, Jimin: tell your fiancée to stop emailing my work email

Office Instant Message [4:36 PM]

Kim, Namjoon: oh, please

Office Instant Message [4:37 PM]

Kim, Namjoon: I’ve seen the stuff you and Y/N send. You two think you’re sooo clever.

Office Instant Message [4:38 PM]

Park, Jimin: point taken

Friday, December 15th [4:42 PM]

Jimin: hey babe, what kind of wine do you want? Xx

Y/N: dry, sarcastic, red as blood

Jimin: cool. Totally normal, not at all scary

Y/N: lol tell Fal whatever wine she has is perfect

Jimin: that’s what I said! I told her you’re a lush and will drink anything in front of you

Y/N: yes, I will 😉

Jimin: holy fuck, I choked

Y/N:  😉

Jimin: babe! You can’t be dirtier than me, it’s not allowed

Jimin: god, when will today be over

Jimin: can you leave early?

Jimin: please. I need to be inside you at least once before tonight

Y/N: jimin!!

Y/N: … twice, if you’re lucky

Y/N: leaving work now

Jimin: good. I missed you

Y/N: haha I just saw you at lunch

Jimin: I’m not a logical man

Y/N: I accept all your shortcomings and love you despite them 😊

Jimin: I love you too, babe

Jimin: a lot 😊

Author’s Note: Hi. I hope you enjoyed :)) HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JIMIN! 

© kpopfanfictrash, 2017. Do not copy or repost without permission.

[ofdvorakanddastardlyschemes-blog]

S3E07 'Digestivo' Notes

That… seems a little unnecessary,  hooding the man who’s sky-high with a head wound.

Man gives order to kill Jack: Well, that seems a bit rude, however sensible.

Major kudos to Jack for being able to speak in full, proper, coherent sentences while that stoned.

Gosh, Jack, you seem awfully insistent on that whole ‘take the needle out’ thing.

OOH, yikes, Chiyoh takes the Band-Aid approach to needle removal.  This isn’t really helping my discomfort with them.

Wait… aren’t his hands still cuffed to the chair?

Okay, I’m intrigued, but why is there sort of an echoing repeat to the theme music this time?  Is it the ‘identically different’ comment??

'Your brother’s a sadist’… and not in a fun way, either.

It’s really weird to think that the fellow who plays Mason is probably at least a decent human being, if not downright nice.

Mason, that seems a rather wordy way to go over the book quote/character motif you already established earlier.  Couldn’t you have made that a little more concise, if not elegant??

Also, hanging the man with the fresh, deep head wound upside-down seems an impressively stupid idea, if you want him alive once he gets where you’re taking him.

*broken laughter*  Is Mason planning to stab him in the ass?!

And, of course, Hannibal is still fucking preening.

Margot’s fashion choices… ALWAYS spectacular.  LOOK at that.  That is a 'take me, Alana’ outfit.  Woman knows how to go after what she wants.

As usual, Hannibal is having a blast, Mason is overdoing things, and Will has been done with this shit since before it even started.

There are so many ridiculous things with this dinner scene that they flit through my head too quickly even to take down.  XD

:D  Hannibal’s grinning, all giddy, at Cordell’s speech, and he turns to Mason like ’:D you got a ME!  :D :D :D’

I’m not sure at all why Will just did that, other than an innate drive to lash back out/be as big a pain in the ass as possible, but I can definitely appreciate the way Hannibal looks at him like his kindergartener just did something amazing, like he couldn’t possibly be more proud.

O.O

Now where’s Will?  I want to see Will like this too…

Oh, they just left Will there for a couple of hours?  That’s just cruel.

On the other hand, I’m not about to pass up a chance to ogle some bloody-and-stuck Will Graham.

Yeeeeeeeahhh, Alana is decidedly NOT the one with the upper hand in that conversation.

. . . fuck.

I know I’ve mentioned this once or twice, but I really feel it’s something which bears repeating: ffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucccck.

I have no idea why Alana is so attached to the thought of saving Will.  I thought any sort of personal attachment she toward him died shortly after his imprisonment, and no matter if he turned out to be right, it’s usually rather difficult to resurrect such a thing.  Guilt, perhaps?  But it does strike me that 'promise me you’ll save him, please’ must be one of the most unnecessary promises I’ve ever heard.

'BACK FROM THE HAIRLINE, IF YOU PLEASE’ This man has his priorities straight.

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

The world just cannot seem to leave Will’s face alone, can it?  Obviously it has realised that face is dangerous.  That face makes even Mason wax rhapsodic.

For the record, though it hardly seems important given everything else here: I caught the first-episode reference.

Not complaining, but how and why did he get so bloody, so quickly?

Wow.  Lots of stuff I never, ever wanted to see.

Fuck, do I love Margot powerful and tossing Mason’s words back in his face.  That eye-roll at 'mostly yours’ nearly killed me.  :D

Okay, that can’t be comfortable for the eel.

*silent sobbing*  the domesticity!  On the run!  After everything!  Hannibal brought him home!  The chair beside the bed because Hannibal was watching over him!  I just can’t!  Domesticity…

No, I’m sorry, but he dressed Will in flannel!! 😢

'When it comes to you and me, there can be no decisive victory.’ Yes, but he’s not TALKING about you vs. him, nitwit!  He’s talking about you vs. everything else, everything that tried to come BETWEEN you and him.  How thick can you be??

I was all but sobbing before but now Hannibal is sobbing and I just 😭

The worst thing about this is that this is Hannibal going 'you don’t really mean that, but you don’t know it yet– you know how to hurt me, but you don’t think you’ll hurt yourself more.  You won’t know until I show you.  And I will.  I’ll lean into the blow, I’ll let it tear through me, and when you do understand– when you come to me, and we’re both raw and bleeding because you made us so– I will be here, and then we can go on.’

Oh my gosh, guys, I need a fucking hug.  😭

@diea-kierlyn @hannigram-hell @electrarhodes @hanfangrahamk @oftempestsandteacups @the-winnowing-wind @avidreadr2004