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fific7 · 3 years ago

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Evil Twins - Part 4

Billy Russo & Aleksander Morozova x Reader

Summary: When two worlds which have already collided then collide with yours - that’s an explosive situation.

A/N: This does not follow canon, it’s mainly a mix of fluff and angst with quite a lot of lemon zest 🍋 My Fantasy Punisher/Shadow and Bone crossover AU.

Warnings: 18+ NSFW due to sexual content including oral and unprotected* sex between consenting adults. Some drinking & swearing.

This chapter is 🔥 rated from the get-go. And there’s some Guys being Annoying stuff too.

*Irl, please don’t go wild in the country without protection.

(My photo edit)

You closed your eyes, waiting.

But you should really have guessed that they’d both go for it at the same moment.

Aleks slid his cock fully into your mouth and Billy pushed inside your core simultaneously. Just as you gagged from Aleks’ cock hitting the back of your throat, Billy fully sheathed himself inside you and you gave a strangled gasp in response.

“Ssshh, ssshh,” soothed Billy, “you’ll get used to us in a second.”

He took a firm grip on your hips and began thrusting into you, while Aleks took hold of your head in both hands and began fucking into your mouth. The two of them then freed a hand and each grasped one of your breasts, kneading and massaging them in synchronisation with their thrusts.

Do they do everything in tandem? - a far part of your mind wondered.

Your eyes were watering by now as each stroke of Aleks’ was hitting you pretty hard, and so you decided you’d better try and relax your throat a bit otherwise he’d end up choking you when he came. At least, you assumed he’d come in your mouth.

You’d still been tensed up from their double penetration and you noticed that it was slightly more comfortable for you once you had managed to relax a little. Aleks was setting a ferocious pace, groaning and muttering foreign words you couldn’t quite catch. He was pushing your head even further forward against his thrusts, so you made yourself relax even more.

Billy, meanwhile, slid his hand in between your legs and began massaging your clit as he kept up his furious, deep thrusting. Each one was forcing a moan from you - partly stifled by Aleks’ cock in your mouth - but you knew Billy heard them as he whispered, “I hear you, sweetheart - get ready to scream!” And you knew you would, you could feel your orgasm building already.

Aleks suddenly grabbed your head with both hands again, jerking quickly against your lips, and you hastily swallowed the warm liquid you felt spilling onto your tongue in case it started dribbling out. Billy built up his thrusting and massaging of your clit to a crescendo, your climax hit you like a truck and you did scream, then felt his body tense and he was coming too a split-second later.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Stroking your hair and face, Aleks drew his cock slowly out of your mouth, leaning down to kiss you, “My good girl,” he whispered against your ear, “taking my cock the way you did and then swallowing all my come.” You felt quite proud of yourself and then wondered - with extreme irritation - why on earth you were thinking that way.

Billy pulled out of you, leaning down and you felt him firstly kissing then licking, licking and licking at your clit with that tongue of his until you were squirming again. “Hey, stop that,” said Aleks, “her next orgasm’s mine.” Billy sat up, shrugging, “Okay, but only ‘cause you haven’t had a perfect pussy like this for decades or whatever you were claiming.” Aleks huffed and began to square up to him, but you said (somewhat hoarsely and tiredly), “Don’t start, you two!”

They both backed down, and Billy slid himself along your body so he could kiss you. You could see Aleks stroking himself out of the corner of your eye but Billy distracted you by kissing you hungrily and running his fingers along your jaw. Suddenly you jumped, as the second hard cock you’d had inside you that night pushed its way into your pussy. You jumped again as you felt it continue to push fully inside you but Billy held you close to him, soothing you and whispering, “You’re doing great, baby girl,” as Aleks began to thrust into you.

Billy sat right up on his knees and straddled your head, and that’s when you realised that he had another erection too. Of course he did. He gently pulled your mouth open and pushed his tip inside, quickly following with his full shaft, and he also began thrusting so once again you tried to relax your throat a little while he held the back of your head, then slid his other hand down behind him to grip one of your breasts.

Aleks was forcefully thrusting in and out of you, and once again loud gasps were forced out from your mouth around Billy’s cock. Aleks had a grip underneath your backside and was pushing you hard against his hips, while massaging your other breast. Then the hand on your ass went between your legs, and his thumb pushed inside till it reached your clit and he began massaging it while continuing to squeeze your breast.

Billy thrust deep into your throat and gave a feral grunt, releasing his come into your mouth, and while Aleks was still working you, you were busy swallowing as quickly as you could once more. Aleks was still pounding into you and rubbing furiously at your clit, and your orgasm burst on you like a firework going off. He continued thrusting for a moment or two more then he climaxed, and a second load of come was released into you.

The three of you sounded like you’d just sprinted home past the winning line in the Olympics, and this time the two of them kind of collapsed onto you. Billy and Aleks both pulled their cocks out of you, and you took in some huge gulps of oxygen. “Oh, baby girl,” gasped Billy, “that was amazin’.” Aleks took in a deep breath, “Fucking amazing, as I think my charming brother would put it.”

Billy sat up and crawled down the bed on his hands and knees. “I think our girl needs another orgasm as a reward,” you heard. “No, I’m fine, thanks,” you said, but then felt your legs being parted anyway and a beard started tickling your inner thighs. Billy’s tongue made its way right inside you, and he licked you deep and long before adding two fingers to the mix. You began mewling - you couldn’t believe it but yeah, you were actually mewling - and then his thumb hit your clit and began rubbing you so hard you thought you were going to come right then. He worked you with everything he had for a few minutes longer before your climax hit you and you definitely heard yourself scream his name.

Billy’s face - complete with glossy lips and chin shining in the low light - popped up from between your legs with the biggest smirk ever on it. Then you saw a sulky-faced Aleks also crawling down the bed, “Move!” he growled at Billy, “I’m going to give her another orgasm too.” “No!” you squealed, you knew you were in imminent danger of becoming over-stimulated.

But Aleks’ dark head disappeared between your legs, while Billy climbed up your body and began using his teeth and tongue on your nipples. Once again you felt a beard scratching at your inner thighs then Aleks pushed a finger inside you, swiftly followed by a second and then his tongue. He worked you with those for a while before moving his tongue to your clit and roughly licking at you. It really didn’t take very long before you were orgasming again, and this time you remembered to scream his name (it was only fair after all, you thought.)

He emerged triumphant from between your legs, and Billy gave your nipples one last lick. Then the two of them collapsed one either side of you. Each gave you a long and open-mouthed kiss and told you in turn how truly fantastic the sex had been. They’d insisted on adding some graphic details as proof - like you’d needed any - assuring you they’d got deeper inside you and further down your throat than they’d ever got before.

Both yawning mightily, they each threw an arm over your stomach and promptly fell asleep, snuggled into your side, noses buried against your neck.

You lay awake on your back for quite a while after they’d fallen asleep, listening to their even breathing, occasional soft little snores and feeling little huffs of their breath on your neck.

Pondering on the current situation, while you were still annoyed that they’d ambushed you in your own bedroom and had ignored you when you said to stop, you had to admit to yourself that 1) right from the moment they arrived, they’d made you feel very horny and 2) you didn’t think you’d ever had better sex in your whole damn life.

You looked either side of you at the two dark heads next to yours on the pillows, and thought that the old saying “be careful what you wish for” definitely applied here. Only a very short time ago, you’d been bemoaning the lack of any hot men in your little town.

Now it seemed you had yourself two lovers. At the same time. And it was fucking exhausting.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

You’d eventually dropped off to sleep - you didn’t usually sleep on your back but had had no choice in the matter - and when you awoke, the two men in your bed were still asleep. You needed to go to the bathroom, rather urgently, so you unhooked the two arms from over your stomach and managed to extricate yourself from the tangle of legs, standing up off the bed and grabbing your robe off the ottoman. They had both stirred in their sleep when you’d got up but neither awoke.

You tiptoed out of the room and made your way to the bathroom, nearly shrieking when you looked in the mirror and saw the love bites all over your neck, and again when you pulled your robe aside and saw even more all over your breasts. You then carried out a full body survey, and in addition to the marks you’d already seen, there were also fingermarks visible on your wrists, hips and inner thighs and your breasts and nipples were quite swollen and sensitive. Oh well, you thought, it was some night after all.

You’d washed your hands and were just finishing brushing your teeth when the door opened and in breezed a naked Billy. Damn! You needed to remember and lock the door, you never usually did as you lived on your own.

“Mornin’, sweetheart!” You were grabbed into a bear hug and a long kiss was planted on your lips. Then he strode over to the toilet, flipping the lid up before taking hold of his cock and letting go with a golden river of pee. He finished, giving his cock a shake, putting the lid back down and flushing the toilet. “See,” he winked at your shocked face, “I’m housetrained.” He came and stood next to where you were still rooted to the spot at the sink, and began washing his hands. “Got a spare toothbrush, angel?” You did as it happened, and took two out of the bathroom cabinet, one dark blue and one black. He whipped the dark blue one out of your hand, unwrapping it and grabbing the toothpaste.

A few seconds later, toothbrush busily scrubbing at his teeth, his dark eyes sought out yours and he grinned at you, mouth full of toothpaste. “Aleks was right though,” he said, dripping some toothpaste into the sink, “fuckin’ amazing sex, baby girl.” You blushed, still not having said a word to him, and he reached out his free hand, slipping it underneath your robe and rolling your nipple between his thumb and finger.

“Ready for another session?” he winked at you, “How about now?” He gestured at his stiffening cock. He rinsed out his mouth and dried his face with the towel, throwing it back over the rail before locking the door, grabbing you and pushing you up against the wall next to the sink. “No… Billy… I need to..” “You need to what, sweetheart?” His fingers grasped your jaw and he kissed you, heat building. “Get ready for me, that’s the only thing you need to do,” he smirked. And he untied your robe, pushing it down off your shoulders so it fell to the floor in a heap. He looked appreciatively at the love bites littering your skin, “Wow! We really did some territory markin’ last night, huh?”

His head went down and he fastened his lips onto a nipple, sucking at it then biting. He lifted one of your legs and held it at waist level before moving his by now fully hard cock to your core and guiding it inside you, forcing a gasp from your lips. “Mmmm, you like that, angel? Course you do. ‘Cause I know I do,” he whispered in your ear as he started to thrust into you. You found yourself nodding like an idiot. He pulled your hips even closer against his and he fucked you like that for however long, you lost track of time quite honestly.

He was biting and licking and sucking at any bit of skin he could reach, and you were sure your upper torso was just going to be one giant love bite by the time he was finished. He’d started rubbing your clit and your orgasm followed like clockwork, then he came shortly afterwards. Billy pulled out of you, placing your bare foot back on the floor and then kissing you tenderly. “The sex… it’s just outta this world, sweetheart.” He gazed into your eyes, “I’m not lyin’, you’re the best I’ve ever had.”

He grabbed a towel and began gently wiping your inner thighs and then your pussy. You felt yourself blushing - again! you thought, what the fuck’s the matter with me?! as you picked up your robe and put it back on, but before you could actually say anything, the door handle rattled and you heard Aleks’ voice demanding, “Let me in, I’ve got to go! And what exactly is going on in there?”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Billy unlocked the door and smirked at his twin, “Sorry, bro - just takin’ care of business,” before winking at him and brushing past him.

Aleks strode into the bathroom, standing there in just his boxers and suspiciously raking his eyes over you. Suddenly you felt like you had a neon sign on your forehead - ‘I’ve just been thoroughly fucked’. He frowned at you, “Oh okay… I see,” he said, managing to make you feel guilty for some reason. “Well, my turn now, darling.” You suddenly realised that having two lovers simultaneously really was going to be quite tiring.

In another case of deja vu, Aleks locked the door and you then witnessed the whole peeing/hand washing/teeth brushing scenario again. Then your robe was stripped off you once more, he stripped off his boxers, and Aleks was also looking at your love bites with a smile on his face, very impressed with him and his twin’s handiwork. What is it with guys and love bites, you wondered?

Aleks was now sporting a hard-on but in a change to the published programme so to speak, you were gently turned around and your backside pulled back against his hips before he assertively pushed his cock inside you, and he gripped your hips as he started thrusting into you. One hand slid up your abdomen to grab one of your breasts and he ran his thumb over your nipple, before beginning to squeeze your breast. His other hand kept hold of your hip, and eventually his hand left your breast and travelled to your clit. He massaged you to an orgasm before continuing to thrust for some time, but finally he came and held you close against him, kissing your neck and your jaw and your cheek as he pulled out of you.

“My little one, you truly are something else,” he whispered, also grabbing a towel and gently wiping your legs and pussy, just as Billy had done. How did they manage to mirror each other all the time? You guessed it must be the twin thing. He opened the bathroom door and the two of you emerged, and as you headed back to the bedroom you spotted Billy - black boxer briefs on now - lying on the sofa channel surfing. Aleks dropped down onto the other sofa, stretching like a big cat and ready to start watching with him.

So, you thought, they were back on your sofas in just their underwear again and looking very pleased with themselves. The two of them turned their heads and gazed at you as you walked across the living area, smiles on their faces, casting inviting and worshipful and lustful looks towards you.

But you forced your eyes away and headed to the now-calmness of your bedroom. The only thing you were going to do for the next few hours was sleep.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Billy and Aleks heard her close her bedroom door and looked at each other, matching self-satisfied smiles on their faces.

“Fuck, she’s somethin’ else, isn’t she?” asked Billy, and Aleks smirked at him, “Yes - and I just told her that in there,” he said, nodding his head towards the bathroom. His twin crossed his hands beneath his head and lay looking up at the ceiling, “You know, I really didn’t think she’d go for it,” he mused, “I really didn’t.” “Told you she would,” replied Aleks, “there was a ton of mutual attraction and sexual tension between the three of us.”

“Whaddya think we should do? Let her rest for a little while before we go back for more?” Aleks nodded, “Oh yes, definitely - I mean we can do with some R&R ourselves.” Billy nodded, “Yeah, true - I admit I feel like a truck ran over me. Haven’t had a sex marathon like that for a long time.” He turned his head and looked at his twin, “But I meant what I said to her, I haven’t ever had it so good before.”

Aleks nodded, “Me neither, I meant it too. The way she just took both of us at once. Amazing… not an ounce of fight in her. Well, not that much to speak of, anyway. Nothing we didn’t overcome in a heartbeat,” he shook his head in wonder.

There was a short silence, then Billy pondered, “I wonder if she’s into anal?” Aleks’ face screwed up, “Even if she is, I’m not!” “Don’t panic, bro - I’m not either. I just wondered if she was.” “Ask her!” Billy shook his head, “Nah. Don’t want to ruin a beautiful friendship.” They both chuckled.

“Anyhow, I don’t intend on giving up regular, mind-blowing sex anytime soon so I say we don’t leave her alone too long. She might overthink it, start having second thoughts about us being a threesome,” said Aleks, “I really don’t think we should chance it.”

Billy nodded, “Yeah, she might get cold feet.” Aleks looked at him, “What? But she’s got a big quilt. How can her feet get cold?” Billy burst out laughing, “It’s a figure of speech, you idiot! It means when someone decides they don’t want to do somethin’ they were gonna do after all.” “Oh, I see! Well, I think that’s a really stupid saying.”

His twin shrugged, “Whatever. But yeah, let’s give her - maybe two hours tops? - and then we go in.” He smirked, “In every sense of the word!”

Aleks laughed, “Okay, yes.” His eyes took on a dream-like expression, “I can’t wait to be back inside her.” Billy gazed back up at the ceiling, “I can’t either. I can’t stop thinkin’ about her. And havin’ sex with her again - for hours. All night. All day. Just all the time.” “Now that sounds like a plan,” agreed his twin.

They both heaved big sighs, thinking about the woman in the next-door room.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

You were startled out of your doze by the rattle of a teacup on your bedside table. Lifting your head slightly, you realised your twin lovers were sitting on either side of you, naked and smiling down at you. Then your eyes dropped a little - two very erect cocks were looking back at you.

“No! I need some more sleep!” you protested. “We’ve brought you some tea to drink first,” said Aleks, soothingly. He picked up the teacup and held it in front of you, “I made it for you,” beaming proudly at you. Reluctantly you took the cup and sipped from it, finding to your surprise that the tea was in fact pretty good. “Good, yes?” asked Aleks, and you had to agree. “Drink it before it gets cold!” encouraged Billy, and you frowned at him. “Drink it so I can fuck you again, you mean!” you snapped. He grinned disarmingly at you, “You read me like a book, sweetheart!”

You struggled up a little more in the bed, carefully holding onto your cup. They were just gazing at you and you found it a little disconcerting. “Will you two stop staring at me!” Eyes still on you, seeing the swell of your breasts above the bedclothes, Aleks said in a breathy voice, “Oh… you’re naked.” Instinctively you pulled the bedclothes up, “I don’t want to have sex again right now, thank you!”

Billy lay down on his stomach, looking up at you with puppydog eyes and a pouted lip, “But we take such good care of you, angel!” Aleks leant in towards you, “And all we can think about is you, darling. And that perfect pussy of yours. We need more of it.” You pulled the sheet right up under your neck, “Well, you’re not getting back inside it right this minute, okay?”

You caught a look going between them, then both half-slid under the covers and lay beside you, arms on top of the bedclothes and heads in your lap. “We’ll just lay here with you and kiss you and hold you till you feel like it again. We can be patient because we love you, baby girl,” crooned Billy. Aleks stroked your knee above the sheet, “So much, darling.”

Laughing, you said, “Look, you guys really need to stop saying that bullshit. We’ve known each other for, what - two days?” Billy’s head popped up like a Jack-in-the-Box, looking indignant, “Have you never heard of love at first sight?” “Lust at first sight, you mean!” you replied. Billy nodded, “Yes, lust is in there, obviously it is… but we do love you,” he insisted, “you’re perfect for us.” Aleks was gazing up at you and nodding, “Perfect for us,” he echoed.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Baghra peered into the cracked and cloudy mirror which enabled her to see into the void.

She sighed, shaking her head. Those silly boys - thinking they were in love. They had been very impulsive in the feelings department when they were young, looks like the passage of centuries hadn’t changed things.

She had been aiming to have them materialise in what she thought was an empty flat, she hadn’t realised someone had currently been living in it. And certainly not a woman. It had been empty the one time she’d investigated it before she’d guided them there.

But maybe it was for the best. She’d been amazed when she realised they were actually sharing her - she would never have believed it if she hadn’t seen it for herself, them all sleeping together earlier that morning. Hopefully it would calm them down a bit, make them less aggressive - not least with each other. Surprisingly, she seemed to have an element of control over them, which impressed Baghra. Not that her boys realised that, she thought, smiling to herself, they thought they were totally in control.

Ah well, I suppose they deserve a bit of peace and pleasure, she thought. She put down the mirror and turned towards the nearby window, looking out into the dark night.

Bahgra was worried. There had been some unexpected and unexplained occurrences over the past couple of days, and now she wasn’t sure what might happen in the very near future.

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@aleksanderwh0r3 @cleverzonkwombatsludge @s1xthirty @tartiflvtte @slythvoid @edithsvoice @paracosmenthusiast @mizelophsun11 @eroda-harry @theshadowkingsqueen @kestrafagnor @thelightinmyshadows

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phoenixyfriend · 4 years ago

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I personally would *really* like to know more about Mace's intro to General Obi-Wan, and how Anakin and Obi-Wan interact in the mind space now. That's got to be so weird, right? Though I bet it's VERY useful when the kids are having some emotion or issue that they can't quantify or explain, or that they don't want to explain: ask the grownup versions and they'll be able to say what's going down. But I mean, in mind-space does OW & A's relationship average out into 'very affectionate (cont)

(cont) brothers who are *very* invested in each other's well being? (They can have the Dad conversation of 'please eat your veggies' from EITHER direction!) I'm imagining, just, a lot of lounging on each other. Mace is introduced to the older versions via meditation and the first thing OW does, even before saying hello, is stroll over to A, sit down, throw his legs across his lap and lean into his side. Also, imagine A coming to OW for advice in meditation, and Ben going to A for advice IRL.

My favorite part of the Jedi Babies AU is what adult!Obi-Wan's relationship with Anakin is like in the meditation-area, is what I'm saying. Followed by how the mini-versions of Soka and Ben act out in real space. The whole thing with them very seriously researching local law so they can hold accurate trials with their stuffed animals was adorable, and I loved how foreboding and mystic Ahsoka came off in the Dooku conversation.

I went back and re-read a bunch of the Jedi babies posts and I have to admit, this: "He gets headaches if he tries to think like an adult for too long, so he shifts between “Master Kenobi, helping Anakin figure out how to fix the world” and “literal child who just wants a nap and cuddles.”" actually probably answers all of my questions and means that adult!OW's relationship with Anakin is probably much the same, just. Still with more cuddles. And prob. with better communication/ less criticism.

OKAY SO (human) babies are like. Wired to require human contact. It's a chemical thing. If you hold a baby, the baby's body will make oxytocin and stuff like that, and the baby will be happy!

(And also not die. Babies can absolutely die without enough physical contact.)

So IRL/waking Soka and Ben are in a position where they constantly crave physical contact, because they are So Damn Young. Obviously, the main provider of that contact is Anakin, and each other, and Shmi, so they're pretty quickly accustomed to being really, really tactile with 'Dad.'

This transfers to the adult shared mindspace, in that they're so used to hugs and cuddles with Anakin that they all just kind of... drift together. The shaping of that physical contact isn't the same, for a variety of reasons, but there's a lot of leaning against each other, Soka lying down with her head in someone's lap, Anakin and Ben making sure their shoulders touch when they sit down, etc. When meeting Mace, they sit so that Anakin's got his arm over Ben's shoulders, which isn't that weird of a position for two adult men who consider each other brothers. They're less tactile, if only because adult General Kenobi can't crawl into Anakin's lap the way the kid version can, but there's still skinship and shared body heat and hugs. It's only weird if you remember that the older of them is currently the slightly creepy eight-year-old you met half an hour ago.

They are undeniably family in every manner, though. That part is never in question.

It's a little weird, moreso for Ben than for Soka. She's gone from little sister to daughter, but she's still 'younger female family member, who views Anakin as a loving authority on account of being an older family member.'

Ben's gone from parent to child, and when a solid 98% of his time is spent as the child, but the history is that of being the parent and being the one with advice, it's weird. They still mostly manage to make it work, though, because meeting up in the mindspace is usually done only for strategizing and whatnot, and gets less and less necessary as they get older. Soka's headaches-when-I-try-to-think-with-my-full-history taper off by the time she's about eighteen, physically; she’s actually two years older than she was at the point of time travel, by that point, but she’s got thirty years of memories so her brain needs a wee bit extra time to grow to hold all of it. Ben... I want to say early twenties for him, because he's got so much more to process.

By that point, they're... not quite who they were, but they're not exactly fresh new people, either. It was never a case of whether or not they'd 'meld,' because they were never really separate, just unable to access everything and limited by the wiring they had. As they can process more and more, they think with some of their old methods (e.g. critical thinking on how to assess propaganda, strategy patterns to approach a battlefield, rebuilding habits for lightsaber usage that they remember in theory but don't actually feel natural yet) in tandem with learning new ones from their new environment (e.g. learning Mandalorian battle logic, Tatooine survival priorities).

There's like. A whole thing in my brain about how Mandalorian, Tatooine, Jedi, Coruscanti, and Shili cultural and logic patterns interact.

WORD OF NOTE: I was an international business major who focused on intercultural communications and marketing. I'm thinking about these in terms of like... Hofstede's cultural dimensions and that whole thing where (I can't remember the actual term) a proper sentence in Russian looks like a run-on in English because the way we structure things looks completely different, and the way information is supposed to be presented when written in order for a person to optimally process what they're reading is completely different due to how we're all trained to learn, and when you pair that with the child psychology aspect of also learning new languages with adjusted neuroplasticity while slowly regaining access to full adult memories as time passes in which you have familiar but completely different cultural values that you now have to reconcile with the things you've learned to consider important with the people who are raising you--

I have a lot of thoughts on this sort of thing.

To put it lightly.

#anakin skywalker #ahsoka tano #obi wan kenobi #ben kenobi #disaster lineage #star wars #the clone wars #time travel #de aging #Anakin and the Jedi Babies

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ghostietea · 4 years ago

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Furuba autistic headcanons

With it being April, or autism acceptance month, I wanted to finally drop my list of characters from Fruits Basket that I read as autistic! This is based a lot on my own experience, as well as that of other autistics I know or have seen talk online. I hope some people can get something out of it, feel free to tell me what you think 😊, though please refrain from getting upset that I would dare suggest your fave is autistic.

Hanajima

Before becoming able to better control her powers, she would be constantly overwhelmed by the things she heard to the point that she couldn't even really go out in public. This reads a lot like sensory overload.

Constantly picked on in school because other kids thought she was weird. Eventually reclaimed this weirdness and turned it into a whole persona.

Seems to talk usually in a relatively flat tone.

Had trouble socializing with no friends outside her family until middleschool.

Has a very funny, dry sense of humor that I find very similar to a bunch of autistics I know, including myself.

Hatsuharu

Listen. You have seen the funky little man, you have seen the way he talks, the way he acts around others. He is, and I mean this in the best way, a weirdo. I do not know how you could look at him and see a neurotypical.

Once again, like Hana, Haru is funny in a way that feels very autistic.

Very flat, dry, tone delivery. Sometimes just Says Things that make everyone else go huh??? Suuuuper blunt. Doesn't emote facially a lot of the time.

When this man sees a social norm he doesn't get he WILL NOT follow it. Pierces his ears just because his hair got flak, defends Momiji wearing whatever he wants because sometimes y'know the social rules are just dumb and don't make sense. Especially dress codes.

Sometimes says things not befitting the current tone of the situation.

Represses (masks) a lot of his emotions, leading to outbursts that seem uncharacteristic.

His main childhood trauma revolves around adults branding him as "dumb" and ridiculing him. Haru, however, is super smart and wise!! Just in an offbeat way that not everyone may get.

Machi

Reads as very "flat" emotionally to the point that others would call her boring. Also has a flat vocal delivery.

Relies on specific habits or ways of doing things or else she gets super upset (her hatred of imperfection.

Has trauma surrounding adults completely misconstruing her intentions and thinking she's doing something malicious when she's not.

Generally behaves in a way that's hard for others to understand, one of her formative moments with Yuki was him saying he wanted to "see how the world looks" through her eyes.

Once again, trouble socializing.

Tries super hard to please her parents but in the end they still see her as somehow inherently "defective."

Listen. A lot of this one and the last two are mostly vibes, hard to verbally define. You just have to look at them and trust me.

Tohru

Displays behavior very reminiscent of masking throughout the story, a huge part of her arc is about how she hides a lot of herself and has a very controlled persona. I think it would fit very well if she had other autistic behaviors that she suppresed also it helps explain why she is relatively socially adept, it's learned behavior to make people like her more.

Yes she is very good at saying what others need to hear, but especially early on she is pretty blatantly imitating her mother's words. She only gets better at getting through on a more personal level later on (see her with Rin and Akito v. early series Tohru). She does this by relating her own experiences, a very autistic way of showing empathy that often gets us written off as self centered. The way she relays things her mom said could also be seen as this, and she even worries at a few points that she's being insensitive for going on about things like that.

While emotionally repressed she is hyper empathetic and feels other's emotions so strongly she cries.

Her speech patterns are all imitated from her father and she often copies verbal things from others (see Ritchan-san). Noted in canon that people think her way of speaking is slightly off/not befitting of someone her age. Additionally, her father was polite more sarcastically, while she plays it straight and sometimes takes things very literally or fails to get the message, indicating trouble with reading tone. Has numerous strange verbal tics, including saying parts of her internal monologue out loud without context.

Very expressive with her hands including waving them around and flapping them up and down.

Does have a bit of trouble with accidental insensitivity in social interactions, like how she constantly fixates on her mom and realizes that might bug the Sohma.

Has trouble paying attention in school since it doesn't have much to do with her interests

Her only friend until she was a middle schooler was her mom

Has a pretty unique outlook on things compared to others, people seem to think she's pretty eccentric. There's always a "this girl is nice but in an odd way, she's our weirdo and we love her" vibe.

Sometimes has an "inappropriate" emotional response to situations

Has a lot of trouble with change, similar to Akito. Which oh, look at the time, next hc coming up.

But first, a disclaimer. It is cathartic for me to read Akito this way, but with that reading comes the baggage that she would, mayhaps, be showing a more negative side of things... It doesn't bother me since it's a joint hc with other characters and she does develop at the end but yeah, general villain hc baggage. This is in no way me trying to excuse her being The Worst being autistic doesn't absolve you of being able to do wrong . Also, a lot of these points can and do have other explanations related to her upbringing, but things can be for more than 1 reason. With that said, she really strongly comes off as autistic to me, in a way that's sorta hard to explain. I wrote a lot more for her than the other, both because I felt I needed more to convince people and that this headcanon was more sensitive and I needed to be careful in my explanation. Also hey! She's my special interest within a special interest.

Akito

Shown to have a dislike of summer weather due to heat and brightness, could be due to sensory issues in tandem with sickness things. Also covers her ears when people raise their voice sometimes which is partially her trying to shut down opposition but also 🤔 can read a different way. She'd also avoids louder Juuni like Ritsu and Ayame because she can't handle them.

Wears pretty much the same outfit every single day. Said outfit is also pretty loose fitting.

Always seen sitting in a pretty unconventional way. Evidence:

Of course this is also the isolated in a cult thing and there is a level of her purposefully doing things to intimidate but: doesn't follow a lot of social rules (overly touchy with strangers, legit doesn't get that what she's doing is wrong, ect.). Repeatedly confused when people indicate she should act otherwise without explanation. Has a breakdown when this comes to a head and approximately says that "they" shouldn't expect her to know "common sense" if "they" never explained it to her, that the way that she was was her "common sense."

Often talks in a way uncharacteristic of her age when shown as a child in a more faux mature/pretentious way. Might just be the translation and idk how to explain it but her speech as an adult also seems off from what one would normally use in conversation. Additionally, when she tries to fake being friendly in her intro chapter, it comes of as extremely stiff and unconvincing.

Generally displays behavior that could be thought of as childish as an adult, but a lot of this behavior could also read as autistic (covering ears, emotional deregulation and meltdowns, ignorance of basic social norms, ect.). It's also important to note that she knows that this behavior makes her seem younger and more helpless to the older zodiac and uses it as a manipulation tactic. Has issues regarding people treating her like a child or only hanging out with her because of pity. While she does weaponize it, we can tell that this grates on her, as seen with her finally blowing up on Kureno, which is partially triggered by the maids saying some sorta infantalizing stuff about her. Irl, a lot of autistic adults and teens struggle with being infantalized for our behavior generally or treated as little babies that can do no wrong. Even in fandom, you see people doing stuff like jumping to call autistic adult characters, such as Entrapta from Shera, "minor coded." It is also common for us to have at least one bad experience with someone hanging around us out of pity. This is something that really gave me a similar feeling in Akito's arc. She's not a baby and she can understand and do better if she is given the chance to learn and break from all the freaky cult indoctrination she's been subjected to instead of just being constantly enabled. In the end, a lot of her growth is represented by her showing that she is capable of changing and being independent.

Shows particular difficulty with socialization, often sits by herself spacing out at social events. A lot of her fear is rooted in the fact that she doesn't know how normal relationships work, becoming overly reliant on the curse because she doesn't know how to make friends.

Clings desperately onto the notion of being "special" and in some way superior to others to be worthy and to make up for perceived inherent "flaws." It's the nd gifted kid burnout vibes for me.

Easily bothered by things that don't bother others. Feels emotions very strongly to the point of getting physically ill and has bad emotional regulation.

Relatively good at reading others in an analytical sense (though has more trouble when it comes to seeing how they feel about her since she's wildly delusional) but brings up her observations in a very cold, detached way and hurts people even on the rare occasion she didn't mean to. Has extreme trouble connecting to others and understanding their point of view. This makes her come off as pretty unempathetic even though that might not fully be the case. Also thinks that people like Momiji are trying to look down on her when they try to empathize with her. A lot of why Tohru can get through to her is that she manages to convince Akito that she's not condescending by relating shared traits and experiences. As I said earlier, autistics often empathize by sharing their own experiences with someone, and I know I often have an easier time confiding in other autistics because of a fear of being seen as lesser by those that don't understand me. I think the connection between these charachters and the way that Tohru manages to reach Akito like that while others couldn't makes a lot of sense through an autistic lense!

Additionally, when Akito herself gets around to trying to help others instead of just projecting trauma, she tries to reach out to the old maid by relating back to her own experiences. This however, doesn't work.

Has "cold" emotional reactions sometimes even to things that do make her upset. For example, how sort of calm and detached she acted after her father's death can make her seem uncaring. However, we know that this event did mess her up a lot and she is still (poorly) dealing with a lot of grief from the death of her father years later.

Copies mannerisms from others, the most blatant example is with Ren, who she directly parrots lines from as a child to Yuki.

Partly just her posturing, but gestures a lot with her hands when she talks. Also seen several times clutching her hands in her hair.

Deals extremely poorly with the idea of things changing to the point that it is a driving force of the story.

Does not understand when people tease her.

Ect. Ect. Ect. Listen, I could go on for ages but just trust me, the mean gremlin lady is autistic.

#fruits basket #akito sohma #tohru honda #saki hanajima #machi kuragi #hatsuharu sohma #actually autistic #meta

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fatlarde · 5 years ago

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my favorite memories ever ........

1. when i was a kid, id never gone 2 a carnival b4 and i just saw it in cartoons n stuff but then my dad was like ‘we r going to the carnival’ and i remember being so excited in the backseat of da car tht i couldnt stop clenching my butt cheeks lmao..

2. maybe around 4 years ago, my family n i went to mackinac island and my sister n i rented a tandem bike and we rode on it for like ever all around the island again and again and it was really sunny that day the lake was so beautiful and we were laughing the whole time

3. around 2 or 3 years ago i had a panic attack in class and i spent an hour calming myself down in the bathroom and my friend texted me asking if i was ok and i said no and he picked me up and we got mexican food

4. the day i got an honorable mention for a drawing i did in my community college days @ a juried exhibition and my prof congratulated me and started encouraging me to go to a university. i always thought college was out of reach not due to $ but due to everything ‘wrong’ w me

5. visiting nyc in 2017 and meeting my internet friends for the first time irl and seeing old friends from high school and spending a few days with my best friend from college and eating everything in sight

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merryfortune · 6 years ago

Note

Thanks for your Spectre HC you just posted, I love reading people's thoughts on him! Do you have any other thoughts about his character?

I have a lot of thoughts, actually. here are my other Spectre metas that you might be interested in (earth ignis!Spectre) and (water ignis!Spectre)

And I’ve also got a lot of unpublished fics involving him. Some of these are unpublished because its not the right time (stupid rare pair week being in December and not now) and others are unpublished because they’re unfinished (more earth ignis!Spectre and some naughty stuff)

my main philosophy with characterising Spectre, and I admittedly have a lot to perfect, comes from reading Majin Tantei Nougami Neuro and that is, Spectre is the inverse of the titular character. He is Neuro, if Neuro was a masochist.

also, i’m a huge revspec shipper so revspec is implied below frequently, I am also intrigued by polyamorous shipping with him and all the lost kids because i feel like its inevitable (like in a5 with the yu-boys and b-girls, its a similar sort of thing. lost kids squad need to bond ok).

but i do dislike some ships involving him (him and pl.aymaker as well as him and sou.lburner but the former is slightly bettered by a threesome solution involving revolver) and then I loathe some ships involving him (him and bl.ue an.gel)

So here is like the comprehensive list of things I think about him either in general or in tandem with other characters

fluffy/general

The best art tropes are when he’s portrayed with long hair (like waist length) or with earrings (specifically Ryoken’s)

he is a huge green thumb; his room is just overflowing with plants. that being said, it is rather messy because he absolutely can’t prune to the level that is needed

he likes classical musical and instrumental covers of heavy metal music best

of the lost children, i think he was the eldest. looking at how yusaku and takeru are portrayed as children, spectre looks closer to how ryoken was portrayed. so i think he was 8 at the time of the incident; not to mention, when he first appeared, I thought he was 20+

loves androgynous fashion and is open to dressing femininely but chooses not to because he’s worried it looks unprofessional

he makes the best teas and cakes. he also cooks a lot and is very good at it. he’s very, very domestic in general.

i love… precocious kid Spectre and dumb childhood friends to lovers tropes like “I’m going to be the one who marries you when we grow up” and pinkie promises type thing (though, if spectre broke a pinkie promise, i’m certain he’d break his pinkie finger too)

he’s also quite affectionate due to being touch starved which is really at odds with the fact that he hates people and he wants to maintain a level of professionalism with the one person he does (or had a history of) want to be affectionate with

spectre has a photographic memory and remembers every single detail of every single day, however, he is (more or less) lying about remembering those things from infancy; those’re coping daydreams. they did happen/similar things happened but he’s dreamt up most the details

angsty

He needs a therapist really, really badly and I’m of the hopeful belief that he will eventually get the opportunity to work through his issues in a professional environment

he often wonders how different his life may have been had he been born either a) a girl or b) a more ‘attractive’ child.

Dr Kogami would not approve of Spectre having romantic feelings for his son

Spectre had so many mixed feelings about the death of Dr Kogami

the Kogami family situation is so fucked from this perspective because Ryoken is so loyal and his father is Like That

I think there was at least one couple who attempted to get to know Spectre; maybe he was the most physically similar child to them or they were intrigued by how intelligent he was and he probably scarred them for life.

other

Spectre doesn’t wear a mask. All the other members of Hanoi wear masks but Spectre doesn’t. I still don’t quite know what to make of this but it does, I think, speak to how low he might perceive himself since he is so subservient to The Cause

I really hope he gets a re-design. I think, other than Ryoken, he is probably the most pressing character who needs a redemption arc. after all, he is a Lost Child. but also because he has a kinda boring design?? like, it isn’t as eye catching as the others, you know?

related to the one above, I think that if any character gets a more permanent death, especially of the lost kids, it’s Spectre with his head closest to the chopping block unless he gets redeemed - unless death is redeeming but fingers crossed he’s still alive by the final episode otherwise I might go into some hardcore denial

also ya girl is a dumbass because she incorrectly thought that Spectre and Go’s orphanage was the same one but no, they’re different places altogether lol

his English VA is spot the fuck on. I really, really enjoy his dubbed voice

I am certain that Spectre will recruit his Ignis and he won’t kill it. I think his Ignis is Earth but I kind of really want it to be Aqua too purely because mixed gender Ignis/Origin pairs intrigue me and the fact that the silhouette of the girl from the lost incident is shown having twin tails ending up with Earth is hilarious

I hope we get more Spectre backstory because its one of my favourites in all of yugioh tbh because it’s just so balls to the walls with W H A T

i’d love to write more gen fic of him but he just pushes the right effing buttons for me so nsfw under the cut jsyk

smutty

bondage, collars & leashes, tentacles, dendrophilia, body worship (if he’s doing it to someone else), sadism/masochism play: all things he absolutely enjoys.

he’s probably down to try anything so long as it’s like hygienic or whatever

has accidentally (or not so accidentally) called his s/o mummy during sex

he is a VERSE. stop erasing his identity people. this man is a switch and proud

he’s one of those people who doesn’t talk about sex but you can absolutely tell from a mile or a million away what he is high key into and that is rather far from ‘vanilla’

his biggest kink is being loved and appreciated and making his s/o feel the same though, lbr

revspec smut fics i wanna write

bonus category because i wanna talk about the kinky things i wanna write involving him

dungeons and dragons inspired au where he’s a dryad and instead of having conventional genitalia, he has a flower Ryoken can penetrate but there are also tentacles and a lot of nectar which kinda acts like nice tasting cum and aphrodisiacs are a Thing too

post-canon or mundane au fic where he and rev more or less get married, Spectre brings the wedding bouquet into the bedroom and either a) puts on a ‘show’ for Ryoken involving it or b) Spectre takes it up the ass from Ryoken whilst masturbating/humping it

another dnd/fantasy world au with dragon!Revolver and human sacrifice!Spectre. you can probably tell where that’s going. Spectre gets devoured in ways he hadn’t expected :eyes:

ok this fic won’t ever happen but it still came to me in a dark, dark time: post canon fic where he and rev have outdoor sex in the presence of Spectre’s tree mother;

either a fic where ryoken threesomes with irl!spectre and vrains!spectre or spectre foursomes with irl!ryoken, s1!revolver, and s2!revolver because I’m a slut for surreal sex like that

i feel like i’m forgetting something bUT YEAH

#yugioh vrains #vrains #yugioh #spectre (vrains)#dendrophile husband #random asks #he's such a freudian character #i love him #and the interpretation i have of him #is good projection fodder; i won't lie #i hope you wanted everything because that's what you got #the only thing you didn't get were the plots of fics i wanna write involving spectre #nightspacek

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fearofaherobrine · 7 years ago

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Roleplay Server Log #296

“Nameless Server, Trender and the Passports, Deerheart’s Pottery Lesson”

[???] Has wandered far from any builds, just wandering in the woods. His clothes a bit more tattered then when he first arrived-

[Grinny] Is cleaning his ass on the carpet in the middle of the vine room-

[Doc] is talking to Yaunfen and catches him- Grinny! If you're having trouble pooping you need to say something! Don't wipe your butt on the rug!

[Grinny] - Fuck you!

[Doc] That was overly mean.

[Yaunfen] you said fuck to Mada. Bad kitty!

[Grinny] Hisses at Yaunfen-

[Yaunfen] hisses back -

[Doc] Now now, let's not fight. But seriously Grinny, are you having an issue?

[Grinny] - No

[Doc] Gestures at the rug- then can we not? Please?

[Grinny] - Nah, it bothers you so I'm gonna keep doing it

[Yaunfen] you made a stinky! Maybe you need a bath!

[Grinny] - Don't you dare!

[Doc] swats out the soiled wool blocks resignedly and replaces them with cobbles instead

[Grinny] Grumbles and swats at Doc-

[Doc] the claws glance off hir boot- you can only have one since you're being naughty. - Xe sets a white wool block on the surface of the floor. - I'll fix the others whenever I have time-

[Yaunfen] grumpy cat

[Grinny] Huffs and starts sauntering off- By the way, that love struck idiot with no name wandered off

[Doc] How long ago?

[Grinny] - Maybe a few days

[Doc] oh damn it. I've been so busy....

[Grinny] - Well then it sucks to be you

[Yaunfen] takes out a lollipop and licks it- adventure?

[Doc] Don't be a pissant Grinny, the worst that can happen is he'll get lost .

[Grinny] - Whatever

[Doc] turns to Yaunfen- yes, time to go server hunting

[Yaunfen] Yay! Do I get to ride?

[Doc] Yes you do

-the two flip forms as they venture outside and Yaunfen climbs aboard Doc before Xe goes flying off low towards the servers place signal

[???] Is just sitting in the shade of a tree-

[Doc] touches down and Yaunfen hops off, prancing happily with a much smaller lollipop- there you are, did you get lost?

[???] - Hm? Oh, no. I've just been wandering

[Doc] Sorry to be a pest then. Your fellow servers decided to become real so they've been off server for a couple of weeks now

[???] - That would explain how empty the seed feels

[Doc] They'll be back soon enough, apparently they can auto adjust to their surroundings. Currently they both look human, it's odd.

[???] - Ah... You know, I wonder how long it took the others to realize their names...

[Doc] Flux in not sure, she might have chosen her own. I sometimes wonder if Deerheart came with hers to indicate why she was formed.

[Yaunfen] Mada named me!

[???] - It's just, I can feel it on the tip of my tongue, but it just won't come out yet

[Doc] Do you want me to look at your files? It might be there

[???] - You can try

[Yaunfen] curls up next to Doc as they loaf comfortably- [Doc] pulls out hir command block and pushes it up against his foot- lets see what we have here-

[???] Watches curiously-

-The coding is complex, like the other servers but the file Doc is looking for is being evasive-

[Doc] How odd, it's like it's trying to get away so I can't read it...

[Yaunfen] Can't we just give him a name? Splender gave Pinwheel one!

[???] - It wouldn't feel right kiddo

[Yaunfen] Sad face-

[Doc] Have you tried meditating at all? I've heard good things about it.

[???] - Meditating?

[Doc] I have a friend who's a witch. She balanced Flux's energy for her so she'd stop corrupting things accidentally. You just take slow deep breaths and try to think about nothing. It's supposed to relax you so you can think more clearly.

[???] - I can try

[Doc] just do this - Xe takes long, slow breaths in through hir nostrils and out through hir parted lips. Just try to relax everything and not move.

[Yaunfen] is imitating Doc

[???] Imitates Doc, all around them energies begin stirring and coalescing around them in waves-

[Yaunfen] Lets out a little yawn-

[???] His eyes snap open and he sways a little- Woah...

[Doc] What is it?!

[???] - I may not know my name, but I do know what I embody

[Doc] What is it? You seem like a vital person. Something nature oriented I bet.

[???] Smirks- The wild

[Doc] for better or for worse I bet. The passive and hostile mobs forces in tandem

[???] - Well, that's one thing solved! I'm sure the name will come along soon enough!

[Yaunfen] leans over and is making soft snores with hir head on Doc's paw-

[Doc] You're probably right, it's good progress at least.

[???] - I think your little one needs tending to

[Doc] leans over to give the little dragon a kiss on one of their horns. Xe curls hir tail around to cover the child with hir fluff. - they're safe with me.

[???] - I think I'll just go wander some more

[Doc] just don't be a stranger okay? Call for help over the chat if you need it.

[???] - Will do

[CP] Has been pacing nearly nonstop and had increased the temperature in the bunker due to agitation-

[Deer] - CP calm down, you're turning this into a sauna

[Notch] is up and moving around a bit, but still feels poorly.

[Flux] - CP, why don't you go outside for a bit?

[CP] - No need to

[Notch] I'm not looking forward to this, but I think it's probably time to head out.

[Flux] - Are you sure? There's not that much of a rush...

[Notch] There's the cop to take into account...

[CP] - Well who all will be going then?

[Deer] - I'd like to go

[Flux] - I am most certainly going

[Notch] You know I'll have to take a plane right? It's gonna be rather boring.

[CP] - Not necessarily, I think you can still pay cash for trains...

[Notch] Across an ocean?

[CP] Shrugs- Boat?

[Notch] Again. Across an ocean? That could take more time then we have. I mean we can go on a cruise someday if you really want too.

[CP] - Oh fuck no!

[Notch] I didn't think so.

[CP] - Fine then, I'll just go ahead and teleport us to Dawn's island then...

[Notch] Is everything arranged? I know it's short notice...

[CP] - Who cares

[Notch] Sighs-

[CP] Reaches out and grabs a bit of each of them and concentrates, one moment they're in the bunker and the next they are on a sandy beach-

[Notch] Looks around. - well this is pretty.

[CP] - Yeah yeah, whatever. Let's go find Dawn- Starts storming off

[Mort] Is cutting the long grass in the yard shorter with a scythe.

[Deer] - Ah! Mort!

[Mort] Hello? Do I.. know you?

[Deer] - It's me! Deer!

[Mort] Deerheart? What happened to your.... - waves his hand vaguely around his head-

[Flux] - Our programming allowed us to adjust so we would not stand out as much

[Mort] Oh!

[Dawn] Is coming down off a ladder, with several roof shingles and a hammer- So I presume the other vision is Flux? And Markus. Nice to see you going irl again.

[Notch] It needed to be done.

[CP] Is at the back of the group-

[Flux] - It is good to see you again Dawn

[Notch] Blinks suddenly - Oh crap....

[CP] - What?

[Notch] I need my passport....

[CP] Starts laughing- You're going to get screwed over by that!?

[Flux] - Passport?

[Deer] - What's that?

[Notch] They'll check it when I re-enter the country! It's supposed to be traceable remember?

[Mort] It's shows your identity when you're in a different contry.

[CP] - Do you even know where it is?

[Notch] In a box under my bed.

[CP] - Well then it sucks to be you

[Deer] - CP that's mean, go get it

[Flux] - If it's required to get in...

[Dawn] If it makes you feel any better I did get you one thing you'll need.

[Notch] Hmm?

[Dawn] Opens the front door and drags out a decent looking suitcase that was obviously bought second-hand. - I got some loose clothes too, and the basic toothbrush, toothpaste and deodorant combo for travellers.

[Notch] That's very thoughtful.

[Dawn] No problem.

[Flux] - How are Deer and I supposed to get in then if we do not have this passport item?

[Deer] - Ohhh, that might be a problem

[Notch] Helpless look.

[Dawn] I thought you guys could copy things?

[CP] - Copy yes, but making it match them would be very difficult

[Dawn] Then I don't know. I can get you a ticket, but you still have to pass airport security.

[Deer] - CP, what about your teleportation abilities, could we just meet Notch there?

[CP] - Well yes, but that doesn't mean I want to

[Notch] Either way I still need my passport. -hopeless tone.

[CP] - Oh for fucks sake fine! I'll be right back- He teleports over to Notch's apartment into his bedroom, keeping his eyes closed until he's down low enough so the glow won't be visible from the outside. Opening his eyes he casts around for the bed and starts reaching under

-There's a shoe box with worn edges near the wall. Along with several single socks, a koosh ball, a lot of spare change and a mario amibo.

[CP] Grabs the koosh ball and then drags out the box out and opens it-

-the box has a passport and some old photos. A birth certificate and some bank register books.

[CP] Grabs the passport and teleports back to the island before throwing it at Notch- Here's your fucking passport!

[Notch] gets swatted in the face with it- ow.

[Dawn] Could Doc do something with it? The security stuff is tiny digital printing after all.

[CP] - Oh fuck no, they do not need to be involved, I can go talk to Slender and see how he manages it

[Samhedi] wanders out and investigates Deerheart's feet. The other hens stay a few steps behind him, just hunting for bugs-

[Deer] - Awww, hello birdy- Is hesitant to touch it

[Flux] Looks at the black rooster curiously-

[CP] Teleports off-

[Samhedi] Curious head cock and the beak opens and closes slowly-

[Mort] It's okay, he's friendly. You can pick him up if you want.

[Deer] Touches him and shudders- Oh.... That's distracting...

[Dawn] He's just a rooster. I mean he's a bit unusual since he can't make noise, but that's all.

[Deer] - I see, but now I know what Doc was talking about when they said everything was distracting...

[Dawn] I guess if you're used to lower detail I can understand. - turns to Flux- How are your energies faring?

[Samhedi] Firmly sits on Deerheart's foot.

[Flux] - Well, I believe...

[Deer] Looks at the rooster- Oh, okay

[Samhedi] Settles into being warm, his feathers are extremely fluffy-

[Dawn] Rubs her hands together and passes them over Flux's front slowly- Muuuuch better. Especially your lower chakras. Been having fun?

[Notch] Turns a bit pink.

[Flux] - You mean intercourse? Yes

[Dawn] Not the most romantic way to put it, but I'm happy for you. I can feel the love radiating off of Markus here. You found a good one.

-Some of the hens sit down next to Samhedi, effectively surrounding Deerheart-

[Deer] - I think they like me

[Mort] You have peaceful energies. They're sensitive from hanging around us. Hey... you want to see my latest artwork?

[Deer] - Sure, but somebody might need to move these guys

[Mort] You have cats right? Same technique

[Deer] Carefully gets her foot out from under the rooster- Okay, I think I got it

[Mort] You've got it. Come on over here, heads for the side of the house-

[Deer] Follows curiously-

-There's a shed with an open side in the shade of the house, there's a kiln and a kick wheel and several shelves of pottery at the back.

[Deer] - Did you make all of this?

[Mort] Oh yes. Dawn taught me, but she only keeps a few favorite pieces in the house. The rest goes to the shop. I'm still practicing. It's kinda hard when your fingers are so poky.

[Deer] - I would guess so... The only things we can make out of clay at home are flower pots and bricks

[Mort] Aww... I think you'd like the wheel, you seem like someone who appreciates getting dirty.

[Deer] - Yeah, I miss my hooves though

[Mort] Will Doc fix them when you go back?

[Deer] - They should just transition back... But that... Wheel, thing is interesting

[Mort] Here, I'll show you how to use it. Just sit right here - Indicates a small stool that will put the round part of the wheel between her spread legs-

[Deer] Sits down and carefully touches the wheel-

-The metal is cool and grooved in a circle, it turns a little as she bumps it sitting down-

[Deer] - All this seems so weird...

[Mort] How come? - He's taking a big ball of wet white clay out of a bucket-

[Deer] - I'm just not used to it and there's so much detail

[Mort] Pulls up a chair next to her- Then I guess relish it for being a new experience. I gotta slam it, I'm saying so I don't startle you.

[Deer] - Okay

[Mort] Bashes the ball of clay against the center of the wheel- It won't stick otherwise.

[Deer] - So what do you do?

[Mort] try just kicking the pedal on the right to get a feel for it. It makes the whole thing spin. - He puts a bowl of water next to her.

[Deer] Gives it a kick, it's a bit rough on her tender feet-

[Mort] You don't have to kick it hard, just kinda pump the pedal -

-The wheel spins around slowly-

[Deer] Tries it, she's fascinated by the motion of the wheel-

[Mort] To start out, You gotta get it symmetrical - He dips his hands in the water and presses one on top of the lump and the other on the side, making it into a puck shape as the wheel turns it

[Deer] Watches closely-

[Mort] Now you can play with it. Wet your hands, try spinning it and stick your thumb in the middle as it goes.

[Deer] Dips her hands into the water and puts them on the clay, she is quickly distracted by the feel-

-The spinning mass forms a hole around her thumb and the grainy clay is slightly scratchy as it burrs past her wet fingers.

[Deer] - I can't... I can't draw away from the feeling of this...

[Mort] You don't have too. Just use your hands, kinda pinch from the outside and the inside at the same time with one hand.

[Deer] Moves her hands and shudders-

-The clay rises in a decent wall under her hands, it's kind of a tube now.

[Deer] Pinches too hard-

-The wall collapses and a little rind peels off the top and flips away into the basin under the wheel-

[Mort] whoops! That's okay. Just be gentle. - He pressses a hand next to hers, lowering the wall of the tube so it looks more like a puck again-

[Deer] - This is kinda overwhelming, I'm not used to feeling so much

[Mort] Good or bad?

[Deer] - Good, but overwhelming

[Mort] Smiles- Try again then. I'll fire whatever you make and you can take it home with you.

[Deer] Nods and starts over again-

-The wall rises under her fingers again and gets to a decent height-

[Mort] Much better-

[Deer] - Now what?

[Mort] What do you want it to be? It can be a bowl or a vase, or a big mug. A plate wouldn't be much of a challenge, but handles and legs and things can be added later.

[Deer] - Let's just start with a bowl

[Mort] Then put your fingers around the edge and guide it outwards a little-

[Deer] Follows the instructions carefully-

-The edges flow outward a bit and the tube becomes more bowl shaped-

[Deer] - Accidentally scraps her foot on the wheel and hisses in a breathe-

[Mort] You okay?

[Deer] - Scraped myself

[Mort] Checks her foot-

-There's a bit of blood coming from where she scraped herself-

[Mort] Aww, here, I'll get some clean water. Just let the wheel slow to a stop on it's own.

[Deer] - Okay

-The wheel cranks around to a standstill and the bowl looks pretty nice for a first try.

[Mort] Puts a bowl of clean cool water by her foot to rinse off in.

[Deer] Sticks her foot in- Thank you

[Mort] Looks over her work- You're welcome. And it's okay. It needs to dry on the wheel a bit before I can cut it off. Tell you what, pick a color combo and I'll finish it for you. It'll need to dry for at least three days before it can be fired anyway.

[Deer] Thinks for a moment- Hmmm, purple and yellow

[Mort] I've got kind of a plum color and a yellow, is that okay?

[Deer] - Sure!

[CP] Teleports back with a couple of small books in his possession-

[Notch] Jumps as Cp appears rather close to him-

[Dawn] eyebrow-

[CP] - Well, learned a lot about how the other pasta's get back to the manor if they aren't there when it moves

[Dawn] Do tell.

[CP] Holds up the books- These are basically blank passports with a bit of Slender power embedded in them, more specifically their power to bend what others perceive. A bit of blood from Deer and Flux will bind these to them and anybody who looks at them other than those two will see a legitimate passport

[Dawn] Niiiice trick. Though making a blood oath with a book implies a certain level of trust.

[CP] Or necessity after having to retrieve the others a number of times

[Notch] ... I wish you would have gotten three...

[CP] - Why?

[Notch] Mine doesn't have a stamp showing I left Sweden in any legitimate way....

[CP] - And that's my problem how?

[Notch] Sadly- I didn't say it was...

[Dawn] it would have made things easier.

[CP] - I don't wanna go get another one though!

[Notch] Looks down- I'll just... deal with it..

[Dawn] Gives Cp a look because he's being shitty to his dad.

[CP] Ignores the look-

-There's a bit of static amongst the tree's-

[Flux] - Will not having this stamp cause problems?

[Notch] I have no idea. I guess I can just make something up. But I risk getting in more trouble by lying.

[Dawn] Gets a crawly sensation on her neck and is looking a bit more alert.

-There's a bit of movement amongst the tree's before Trender comes out-

[Flux] Takes Notch's hand- Then use mine, I'm sure with CP's help I can get over there without the use of a plane

[Dawn] Friend of yours?

[CP] - Fucking Nether

[Trender] - I'm sorry to intrude, but brother sent me

[Dawn] Slender I presume?

[Trender] - Yes, I am Trender by the way, a pleasure to meet you, not so much your clothes

[Dawn] Dawn Razor, charmed I'm sure. What's wrong with my clothes? I was working on the roof when everyone showed up.

[CP] - It's his thing, just ignore it. Why are you here?

[Trender] Holds up two more books- Brother happened to scan your mind while you were making your request and realized two books would not be enough

[Notch] Grateful tone- Thank you for that. It was my fault partially for not remembering that I needed exit stamps from where I was too.

[Trender] - Yes, and one for Herobrine as well

[CP] - Why the fuck do I need one!? I don't need to go on the fucking plane!

[Notch] Peanuts?

[Dawn] Little chuckle-

[CP] - Does it look like I can even fit in one of those tiny ass seats?

[Trender] Sighs-

[Dawn] I can maybe get an upgrade? It's short notice and it won't be cheap....

[Trender] - Cost does not have to be a problem, I can easily reimburse you

[Dawn] That's very kind of you. What's your deal anyway? You look like a fashionista and it looks tailored too. You sew your own gear? It's very nice.

[Trender] - Yes, I do make my own clothes, I tend to feed off of the confidence when people are happy with what they are wearing. Thus why I will find proper clothes for them or make them for them

[Dawn] You know... maybe I can do you a favor as well. I'm bad about hoarding stuff I'll never get around to using, Stay here a sec. I'll be right back.

[Notch] Watches her go and then looks up at Trender. - The party was decent if you're wondering. Everyone looked really nice.

[Trender] - Ah, that's good. I'm glad it was enjoyed

[Notch] You shoulda seen Doc's outfit. Cp about had a coronary.

[Trender] - Oh really? With your permission, I could see it in your mind

[Notch] Really? Okay- He focuses on the memory of Doc leaving in hir short dress and long boots accompanied by Yaunfen in their little bowtie.

[Trender] - Could be a bit better fitted, but otherwise passable

[Dawn] Comes back with a rather large cookie tin-

[Trender] Glances at it curiously-

[Dawn] I've had these forever, take them with my blessings- She opens the tin and holds it up. The sunlight glitters on the contents. It's full of beautiful antique buttons grouped onto little strings to keep the matching ones together. There's metal and crystal and delicately cut glass. - I never wear fancy clothes anyway. Attracts too much attention in my line of work- grins-

[Trender] Lifts some of these to inspect- Ah, these can definitely be put to use- He takes the tin from her

[CP] - Can you go now?

[Trender] - Oh alright, here are the books- He hands over the books and then teleports away

[Notch] a bit too late- Thanks-

[CP] Throws a book at Notch-

[Notch] Gets hit in the chest with it and just picks it up resignedly. - Dawn? Can you hold onto my other one for safekeeping? It's probably illegal to have two.

[Dawn] Gladly - takes it.

[Notch] How do I do this? Just prick myself with something and make a print?

[CP] - As far as I can tell, yes

[Notch] Can I borrow your sword?

[CP] Rolls his eyes but holds the sword out-

[Notch] Pricks his thumb on the tip and the little bit of blood dribbles down the blue diamond surface. Then makes a bloody print on the book with it before sticking his finger in his mouth.

[Flux] Looks at her own book before reaching out for the sword as well, her blood color is much darker, almost a purple, but just red enough to pass as human-

[Mort] Takes out a wire on two little sticks and wraps it around his hands like a garotte- Watch this. This is how you get the pot off. - He draws the wire under the pot along the surface of the wheel like someone cutting cheese. - Then you just scoot it off. I'll put it on the table for now to dry. We should probably see what the others are up too anyway. I'll take it from here.

[Deer] - Oh! Right, they're probably about ready to go

[Deer] Hurries back over to the group- Are we ready to go?

[Dawn] Did you have fun? You're both covered in clay droplets.

[Mort] We had a nice little lesson.

[Deer] - Guess I did get a bit dirty

[CP] - You do realize you'll have to put your shoes on, right?

[Deer] Whines-

[Dawn] Yeah... some places won't even let you in if you don't have shoes on.

[Mort] [who is only wearing a pair of shorts over his bare pelvic bones] Or a shirt either.

[Deer] - But I prefer being naked!

[Mort] Amen sister. Well I like having my waist covered, but otherwise. Yeah.

[CP] Tosses the third book at Deer] - Just get a bit of your blood on this

[Deer] - Why?

[CP] - So you can get through customs

[Dawn] It's irritating but it keeps people from getting suspicious

[Deer] - CP, can I use your sword?

[CP] Groans but moves the sword towards her-

[Deer] Cuts herself and marks the book-

[CP] - Can we go now?

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aikungfu · 4 years ago

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Welcome back to The TechCrunch Exchange, a weekly startups-and-markets newsletter. It’s broadly based on the daily column that appears on Extra Crunch, but free, and made for your weekend reading. (You can sign up for the newsletter here!)

Ready? Let’s talk money, startups and spicy IPO rumors.

The week’s biggest IPO news had nothing to do with Monday’s S-1 deluge

During Monday’s IPO wave I was surprised to see Asana join the mix.

After news had broken in June that the company had raised hundreds of millions in convertible debt, I hadn’t guessed that the productivity unicorn wouldn’t give us an S-1 in the very next quarter. I was contentedly wrong. But the reason why Asana’s IPO is notable isn’t really much to do with the company itself, though do take the time to dig into its results and history.

What matters about Asana’s debut is that it appears set to test out a model that, until very recently, could have become the new, preferred way of going public amongst tech companies.

Here’s what I mean: Instead of filing to go public, and raising money in a traditional IPO, or simply listing directly, Asana executed two, large, convertible debt offerings pre-debut, thus allowing it to direct list with lots of cash without having raised endless equity capital while private.

The method looked like a super-cool way to get around the IPO pricing issue that we’ve seen, and also provide a ramp to direct listing for companies that didn’t get showered with billions while private. (That Asana co-founder Dustin Moskovitz’s trust led the debt deal is simply icing on this particular Pop-Tart).

This brief column was going to be all about how we may see unicorns follow the Asana route in time, provided that its debt-powered direct listing goes well. But then the NYSE got permission from the SEC to allow companies to raise capital when they direct-list.

In short, some companies that direct-list in the future will be able to sell a bloc of shares at a market-set value that would have previously set their “open” price. So instead of flogging the stock and setting a price and selling shares to rich folks and then finding out what public investors would really pay, all that IPO faff is gone and bold companies can simply offer shares at whatever price the market will bear.

All that is great and cool, but as companies will be able to direct-list and raise capital, the NYSE’s nice news means that Asana is blazing a neat trail, but perhaps not one that will be as popular as we had expected.

The NASDAQ is working to get in on the action. As Danny said yesterday on the show, this new NYSE method is going to crush traditional IPOs, provided that we’re understanding it during this, its nascent period.

Market Notes

Look, this week was bananas, and my brain is scrambled toast. You, like myself, are probably a bit confused about how it is only finally Saturday and not the middle of next week. But worry not, I have a quick roundup of the big stuff from our world. And, notes from calls with the COO of Okta and the CEO of Splunk, from after their respective earnings report:

China-based fintech giant Ant is super profitable and super big and super powerful and is going to have a mega-IPO that matters, even if it isn’t happening Stateside. (This has long been expected.)

As I write to you, the TikTok saga is not yet over, but between the lawsuits and smokescreens and other crap, it appears that Microsoft and perhaps Walmart are the leading bidding duo. What a year.

SPACs for real companies are happening, and Boston unicorn Desktop Metal is pushing ahead with one. This is an event to watch, and if it goes well we could see a bunch more in rapid-fire fashion.

Speaking of which, here’s a run-down of all the companies that filed to go public on Monday. You are welcome, as that post was annoying to compile. (I jest, it was fun as hell.)

Also this week, Y Combinator had a two-day Demo Day confab that we wrote a lot about. Sure, these are early-stage companies, but their ranks will generate some material winners. So catch up here, with that link containing our chat about the startups and directions to all our coverage.

And for fun, here are some slightly deeper looks at Snowflake and Sumo Logic’s respective IPO filings, and a contrarian take on why Palantir has problems, but also some merit.

Over to our chats, starting with Okta COO and co-founder Frederic Kerrest:

Okta had a good quarter. But instead of noodling on just the numbers, we wanted to chat with its team about the accelerating digital transformation and what they are seeing in the market.

On the SMB side, Kerrest reported little to no change. This is a bit more bullish than we anticipated, given that it seemed likely that SMB customers would have taken the largest hit from COVID.

Kerrest also told us some interesting stuff about how the wave of COVID-related spend has changed: “We actually have seen the COVID ‘go home and remote work very quickly’ [thing], we’ve actually seen that rush subside a little bit, because you know now we’re five months into [the pandemic], so they had to figure it out.”

This is a fascinating comment for the startup world.

Okta is big and public and is going to grow fine for a while. Whatever. For smaller companies aka startups that were seeing COVID-related tailwinds, I wonder how common seeing “that rush subside a little bit” is. If it is very common, many startups that had taken off like a rocket could be seeing their growth come back to Earth.

And if they raised a bunch of money off the back of that growth at a killer valuation, they may have just ordered shoes that they’ll struggle to grow into.

And then there was new McLaren F-1 sponsor Splunk, data folks who are in the midst of a transition to SaaS that is seeing the firm double-down on building ARR and letting go of legacy incomes:

I spoke with CEO Doug Merritt, kicking off with a question about his use of the word “tectonic” regarding the shift to data-driven decisions from Splunk’s earnings report. (“As organizations continue to adapt to tectonic societal shifts brought on by COVID-19, one thing is constant: the power of data to radically transform business.”)

I wanted to know how far down the American corporate stack that idea went; are mid-size businesses getting more data-savvy? What about SMBs? Merritt was pretty bullish: “We’re getting to tectonic,” he said during our call, adding that before “it really was the Facebooks, the Googles, the Apples, the DoorDashes, [and] the LinkedIns that were using [Splunk].” But now, he said, even small restaurant chains are using data to better track their performance.

Relating this back to the startup world, I’ve been curious if lots of stuff that you and I think is cool, like low-code business app development, will actually find as wide a footing in the market as some expect. Why? Because most small and medium-sized businesses are not tech companies at all. But if Merritt is right, then the CEO of Appian might be right as well about how many business apps the average company is going to have in a few years’ time.

And finally for Market Notes, my work BFF and IRL friend Ron Miller wrote about Box’s earnings this week, and how the changing world is bolstering the company. It’s worth a read. (Most public software companies are doing well, mind.)

Various and Sundry

We’re already over length, so I’ll have to keep our bits-and-bobs section brief. Thus, only the brightest of baubles for you, my friend:

Y Combinator startups are focusing on revenue in this more uncertain world. Per The Information, the startup org has encouraged startups in its world to “focus on generating revenue” and how to juice enough cash from their operations to endure sans checks from private investors.

Given the pace of private investments into certain startup niches today, it’s almost odd advice. But what is true for late-stage SaaS companies (very hot!) might not hold true for smaller YC companies that are focused on consumers.

Natasha wrote about a particularly hot startup from this YC batch, so I reached out to a hot company from a prior batch, namely Tandem. But they didn’t want to talk on the record, so no news there. Alas.

The Fastly deal is super cool and you should read more about it. As was this $300 million investment.

And with that, we are out of room. Hugs, fist bumps and good vibes,

Alex

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