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familiarscars · 30 days ago

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Lost In Control | Bad Omens | CHAPTER 18

adult content | minors do NOT interact.

⋆ 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆. Bad Omens X ex-girlfriend and singer!Reader.

⋆ 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒. You and Noah had a difficult ending, but you still need to support each other for the band.

⋆ 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆(𝐒). melancholy, ex-boyfriends, difficult relationships, alcohol abuse, swearing, drug addiction, violence.

It's okay to not agree with the characters' attitudes during the fic. It's good to remember that the story is fiction from the author's sick mind, and of course they will make dubious decisions according to my fantasies. Nothing is done to be compared to reality.

NOAH

Walking after having my ride request rejected four times was a humiliation I didn’t expect to face at this point in my life. With every step, the cold wind seemed to mock me, cutting my face as I shoved my hands into the pockets of my hoodie, trying to ignore the irritating feeling that things couldn’t get any worse.

Of course, that was a lie.

Thanks to the scene she made outside the studio yesterday, I was more screwed than ever. Barely awake this morning, I’d already lost count of the calls from Gerard, all laced with the same desperate tone. And as if that wasn’t enough, my name was popping up on corners of the internet I didn’t even know existed, tied to the most absurd stories.

"Bad Omens' vocalist freaks out after seeing ex with a new girlfriend." That was the most creative headline so far. It didn’t matter how hard I tried to stay out of anything that could draw attention to me on social media; it was unbearable living with every step of mine under scrutiny—through a photo, a video, or some wildly out-of-context clip. I had to think about everything: what to wear, how to talk, even how people might interpret my lip movements.

Every tiny detail was blown out of proportion.

And there was no escaping it when I was stuck next to a walking magnet for trouble. She knew exactly how much I hated feeling exposed. And, of course, she made a point of provoking me on purpose.

I adjusted the hood of my hoodie, pulling it further down. That’s when I heard it: female voices behind me. They were far off, but there was a tone of excitement that made me freeze for a second. Taking a deep breath, I tried to look casual and quickened my pace. Maybe it was paranoia, but something about their laughter felt like it was following me.

The voices grew louder. I glanced over my shoulder, and there they were—two girls whispering and looking at me like they’d just won the lottery. Panic rose like a wave. I walked faster, trying to stay calm, but my hands were already clammy inside my pockets.

I don’t know why I thought I could get away. Maybe it was stupid optimism or sheer denial. They started running, and before I knew it, one of them was at my side, gripping my arm tightly enough to make me stop.

“Noah!” she exclaimed, her eyes sparkling as if she’d just stumbled upon a unicorn. “We spent all morning waiting for you to walk by! Finally, we got to see you!”

“Wow!” I said, looking up slightly, something about her statement rubbing me the wrong way. “Thanks for the attention, ladies, but I really need to go now.”

“You’re upset about what happened yesterday, aren’t you? If you knew how mad we are at that—”

“Look, I’m really in a hurry,” I cut her off, my tone firmer as I pulled away from her grip.

“Noah, we’re only thinking about your well-being, and it’s clear that it doesn’t involve staying around her! It’s not like Scarlet is a good choice. Maybe it’s better for you to be alone for a while!”

“Exactly!” the other one chimed in. “We’re doing everything we can to make sure she pays for tormenting you, don’t worry! But we also want you to stay away from people like her, and I think it’d be a great idea to kick her out of the band, for example.”

“I agree!” the annoying one continued. “Who knows, maybe then you’ll sing Just Pretend again—it’s my favorite song, and I think it’s unfair you don’t sing it anymore because of her!”

They spoke as if I were a doll on a shelf, with no control over my own actions or feelings. I couldn’t even choose who to date without them turning it into hell from the very start of my relationship. They’d been stalking the person I’ve loved for nine years, blowing every minor mistake out of proportion and turning it into a risk for me.

I couldn’t even choose the damn song I wanted to sing.

Forcing a smile, I tried not to look as uncomfortable as I felt. “I’m genuinely concerned about how little you have to do. This is the last time I’ll warn you to stop meddling in my personal life. And I stopped singing that song because I wanted to!”

“Okay, okay!” one of them raised her hands as if surrendering. “But before you go, could you take a picture with us?”

“Oh, please, just one photo! It’ll be quick, I promise!”

“I’m not feeling comfortable taking pictures today, sorry.”

She already had her phone in hand before I could even finish answering. The other girl joined her, giddy, saying something about posting it online. The discomfort slowly wrapped itself into a sharp pain stabbing through my chest, tightening like a thin rope around me.

All I wanted was to disappear.

“I just said I’m not feeling comfortable taking pictures! WHAT THE HELL!” I exploded, and they froze, phones in hand.

Each step felt heavier than the last. It was as if the air around me had turned denser, suffocating. My chest began to tighten, and the familiar sensation of anxiety crept to the surface, slow and cruel. At first, I tried to ignore it. I took a deep breath, adjusted my hood, fiddled with my pockets—anything to distract my mind. But nothing seemed to work. My heart beat like an off-rhythm drum, and I could feel a thin layer of sweat accumulating on my forehead, despite the biting cold.

The streets around me blurred, dissolving into unrecognizable smudges. The voices of pedestrians melded together, turning into an unbearable background noise. I tried convincing myself it was all in my head, that I just needed to reach my destination, and everything would be fine.

But the record label building seemed further and further away, even though I knew it was just a few blocks ahead. My lungs started to burn, unable to take in enough air. My hands trembled inside my pockets, and I caught myself wishing I’d accepted the girls’ help, even though I knew how absurd that was.

When I finally saw the entrance to the building, a fleeting wave of relief washed over me, only to be replaced by a nauseating sensation. My legs felt like they were giving out with each step, and sweat now trickled down the back of my neck.

I stumbled into the lobby, barely recognizing the faces around me. Gerard was there, likely waiting for me, but his expression shifted the moment he saw me.

“Noah, are you okay?” he asked, but his voice sounded distant, like he was speaking underwater.

I opened my mouth to respond, but no words came out. Instead, I felt my body weaken. The world around me began to spin, and my vision darkened at the edges. Before I could comprehend what was happening, my legs gave out completely, and everything went black.

“Don’t think this pathetic scene, pretending you’re having some sort of breakdown, is going to save you from our conversation!”

Opening my eyes felt like waking up in hell. My head throbbed as if a drum was being pounded inside it, and the first thing I saw was Gerard’s furious face, so close it looked like he was about to explode. All he needed was to start breathing fire.

I was lying on the couch in his office, but I had no idea how I’d gotten there. All I remembered was the moment the world darkened and collapsed around me.

“I think I had a panic attack,” I muttered, pressing the bridge of my nose as a groan escaped my lips.

“Don’t start with your nonsense now!” Gerard snapped, stepping back and pacing like a caged lion. “Not with a tour about to kick off!”

Watching his frantic pacing only made me dizzier. I closed my eyes again, trying to quiet the incessant buzzing in my head.

“If you’re overwhelmed and think you can’t handle it, then shove some sedatives down your throat!” he continued, his voice dripping with contempt.

“I don’t even take medicine for a headache,” I shot back in a low tone. “You know how I feel about that.”

“Then stop with the theatrics, Noah!” he barked, his voice sharp. “Hold your ground as the frontman and quit acting like a fragile crystal. I can’t stand weak people.”

His words hit like stones being thrown at me. Even so, they still felt distant, like I was hearing them through water. My flesh trembled, a light but uncontrollable vibration.

“You screwed everything up!” he suddenly accused.

“What are you talking about?” I opened my eyes slowly, trying to refocus, and stared at him in confusion as I sat up on the couch.

“The thing I wanted most right now was a way to get rid of her!” he exclaimed, tilting his head as if explaining to an idiot. “And you thought it was a great idea to tie her even closer to the band?”

Gerard crossed his arms, leaning against the table. His expression was hard, brows furrowed, and a lone strand of hair fell over his perfectly aligned face, despite the visible exhaustion. He was young, but his fatigue seemed to age him.

“I don’t just want her off the singles, Noah. I don’t want her anywhere!”

I leaned back on the couch, resting my arms on my thighs as I stared at him. A low chuckle escaped my lips, slowly growing.

“Who said we’re on the same page, sweetheart?” I quipped, tilting my head. “Whatever you do with the band’s administration doesn’t concern me, but she stays.”

Gerard narrowed his eyes, his jaw clenched. "As if you'd gain anything from this. She clearly doesn't want to be around you and does everything to ruin what the band achieves. You're an idiot, Noah. You're willing to destroy everything just to stay glued to that stupid girl?"

"ENOUGH!" I interrupted, my voice booming like thunder. "My motives for this are none of your business. You asked for the singles in exchange for reducing the contract, and I held up my end. Now, you're going to hold up yours."

He stayed silent for a moment, studying me like a predator sizing up its prey. Then he rubbed his jaw, thoughtful.

"I could hold up my end," he began, his tone calmer but dripping with sarcasm. "If you hadn't blindsided me with this move and plastered the band's name across every media outlet since yesterday thanks to your idea. You only did this so you two could ditch the label and sing happily ever after."

He leaned closer, his face filled with contempt. "You betrayed me, Noah. At no point did I agree to keep her in this circus, which is why I brought suggestions for replacements!"

"But you know that without her, I can't function." I crossed my arms, meeting his gaze head-on. "You tolerate everything she does because you know having two is better than none."

"Without her, I can't function..." Gerard repeated mockingly, his voice rising in exaggerated mimicry. He let out a harsh laugh. "Then keep functioning together, because you're still going to finish producing the rest of the album."

"That's not what we agreed on!" My voice came out louder than I intended, full of frustration. "We agreed I'd deliver the singles, and you'd turn that into a short album to close out the band's obligations with the label!"

Negotiating with Gerard was like trying to make a pact with someone trapped in a spiral of mental decay. His deals were as unstable as his patience, always tainted by his tyrannical whims.

"Of course, you're scrambling now, aren't you?" He moved closer, his voice dripping with sarcasm. When he stopped in front of me, he leaned forward, invading my personal space. "You picked a fight with your biggest source of creativity. You're an incompetent mess who hasn't managed to put together a decent chorus in months, and now you're going to be forced to deliver the whole album just to prove you're still worth something!"

The laugh that followed was so sharp it felt like it reverberated directly in my nerves. He pulled back again, leaning against the edge of the table, looking smugly satisfied with the sting of his words.

"Guess what, darling?" Gerard spread his arms theatrically, as if celebrating a victory. "I've flipped the script again. Now you'll have to figure out how to make her work for you. And when she finds out you're using her..."

He paused dramatically, sighing as though genuinely regretful, but his tone betrayed the venom in his words.

"It'll just be another disappointment for her collection, won't it?"

His words were a direct punch to the gut, but I kept my expression neutral. Even though it burned, I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of seeing the pain on my face. His game was clear: manipulate, pressure, and win through exhaustion.

But I wasn't ready to give in.

Not yet.

"Alright, alright." I raised my hands in surrender as I stood up from the couch and walked toward him. My tone was laced with irony, but my gaze remained locked on his, unwavering. "But if we're going to work together, it's only fair for you to spill your little secrets, don't you think? I've always been curious about where this almost pathological grudge you have against her comes from."

I stopped a few steps away, tilting my head slightly as I watched his every reaction.

"She used to be your golden ticket, remember? That unmistakable voice, the star who made you take a chance on the band. And now? How did she go from all that to being sabotaged by you at every turn?"

Gerard's scowl remained, but something in his eyes tightened, and I pressed on, more relentless.

"Or do you really think I bought her story about not wanting to check into rehab? Because, let's face it, if she got better, what excuse would you use to keep tearing her down? It's convenient for you that she stays broken, isn't it?"

He stood still for a moment, his lips pressed into a thin, tense line. Then, without warning, he exploded. "Get out of my office!" His tone was a growl, every word spat out with restrained fury. "And don't come back here until you have something ready to hand over."

His rigid posture seemed on the verge of collapsing onto me, but I stood my ground. He took a step closer, pointing an accusatory finger at me.

"All these theories of yours mean nothing because, in the end, after everything goes through the funnel, it always comes back to you. You ruin her life because all you care about is yourself. So I suggest you figure out your place once and for all and stop messing with me."

I swallowed hard but bit back the retort threatening to escape. Now that I'd managed to rile him up as much as he'd annoyed me, I decided it was time to leave.

After a surreal chase with a duo of fans and an unbearable conversation with Gerard, which nearly sent my breakfast the wrong way, it seemed impossible for my day to get worse. But of course, underestimating the universe is always a mistake.

I greeted the guys at the studio, trying to keep my mood minimally stable. We were in a space that had belonged to a friend and was perfect for the idea we had for VAN recording. Nothing grandiose, just something intimate, focused on the collaboration we had chosen. I had arranged everything over the phone with the vocalist of a band, an old friend. I sent her the script, and she, always understanding, got it right away. Easy, simple... or so it should have been.

“Where’s the girl?” I asked Matt, who had his headphones on, fiddling with something in the sound system.

The room was partially dark, lit only by the setup lights as the crew finished preparing the scene. Matt, as always, didn’t bother to take off his headphones or pay attention to what I was saying. He just gestured toward the back of the studio. I took a deep breath, ignoring his rudeness, and moved on, determined to ensure everything was in order.

In the back, some makeshift rooms served as dressing rooms and storage for production clutter. As soon as I turned down the hallway, a familiar, nearly unmistakable smell made my stomach churn.

“Hey, just checking if everything’s ready?” I asked, trying to sound calm, my hands stuffed in my pockets to hide my nervousness.

I was about to follow up with another question when the chair in front of me swiveled around. And there she was.

Her dark, enormous eyes stared at me, gleaming with that devilish touch she used every time she wanted to get under my skin. She was flawless: perfect makeup, carefully chosen clothes, a wide smile forming a treacherous dimple in her cheek.

“Hi, Noah,” she said, winking at me as if we were having a casual meeting and not on the brink of catastrophe.

No. No. No. No. No.

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?” I exploded, my heart pounding in my chest.

“I’m here to shoot the music video for my song,” she replied calmly, blowing on her nails as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “Can you believe I stayed up all night at the studio to finish the recorded parts? But it’s fine, nothing I can’t handle.”

“And what did you do with the collaboration?” My voice was tense as I looked around, searching for any sign of my friend. I didn’t trust her. I never would. “Where’s the girl?”

“Oh, she’s definitely in a better place, darling.” She smiled that venomous smile, blowing a kiss into the air. “Didn’t you say I’m now obligated to stay and put up with you? Well, it’s only fair that you put up with me too, you bastard.”

My head throbbed. The thought of enduring her was torture enough, but now she was here, smiling with that victorious air as if she’d just won a war I didn’t even know was happening.

“Listen here, do you think this is a joke?” I asked, crossing my arms and forcing a firmer tone. “Have you checked your phone today to see what your stunt yesterday led to? Do you want another scandal tied to your name when people find out you go around kidnapping band vocalists?”

“I don’t think it’s a joke, darling.” She stood up from the chair, strutting across the room like she owned the place. “And technically, it wasn’t me who kidnapped her—it was Folio.”

I’d deal with him later.

“Oh, relax, Noah. I’m the star here. You just need to stay in your lane and let me shine.”

It was impossible. She was impossible. And the worst part? She knew exactly what she was doing.

On set, everyone was ready. The lighting was adjusted, cameras were positioned, and the script was in hand. I forced myself to ignore her provocative gaze while the technicians made the final adjustments.

“We’ll start with the chorus scene,” I said, trying to maintain a professional tone. “Remember, it’s supposed to be a bit emotional. You need to look vulnerable.”

“Vulnerable?” She let out a short laugh, fixing her hair. “Then I’ll just imitate you.”

I closed my eyes for a second, taking a deep breath as I heard the guys laugh quietly. She loved testing me, and I couldn’t give her the satisfaction of losing control.

The music began to play, and her voice filled the studio, as it always did. It was infuriating how she could be so good, so naturally magnetic. Everyone in the studio seemed captivated, especially the lighting technician, who leaned into his mic to say something during the pauses.

“Great job, it’s amazing,” he said, smiling in a way that made me uncomfortable.

“Thanks!” she replied with a soft laugh, placing a hand on his shoulder for a second longer than necessary.

My jaw clenched. She’s just being polite, I thought. But my mind insisted on turning that gesture into something bigger.

“Let’s keep going. I’m sure there’ll be time for flirting once we’re done.” I turned to the director of photography. “Next scene. Lights in position three. And you,” I pointed at her, “remember, this is a music video, not a theater performance.”

“As you wish, darling.” She winked, returning to her mark on the floor.

As the shoot progressed, I found myself watching her every move, every laugh she shared with the others, every touch that seemed casual but felt like a direct provocation to me. It was unbearable.

I wanted to kill myself.

⭑ @collisionofyourkissmakesitsohard ; @iluvmewwwww75 ; @anarchydomainglory ; @foliosgirl ; @lma1986 ; @chey-h ; @supersquirrel1996 ; @zozaline ; @just-randomm-stuff

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sweatervest-obsessed · 1 year ago

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Home Is Where The Heart Is

Pairing: Steve Harrington x afab!reader

W/C: ~7.2k

TW: 18+ MDNI, smut Teehee. Face riding, oral (both m and f receiving), foul foul language, mentions of depression, smoking weed, impulsive decisions, self-deprecating thoughts, self-image issues, upset Robin Buckley, mentions of the Upside Down, scars, boobs, mentions of trauma

Notes: Yall, this one got away from me but I’m not mad about how it came out at all. She’s not edited but I sure as hell enjoyed writing her. I really wanted to write a reader who isn’t afraid to sass Steve since so much of the fan fic I see is a headstrong woman becoming some shy girl when she likes Steve, and as someone who literally bullies the people she loves, well…anywho. First time writing for Steve, second time writing and posting fan fic, and first time writing smut. Constructive criticism and comments are HIGHLY appreciated since I’ve rediscovered my addiction to writing. I really hope y��all enjoy it!!!

(finally went back and slightly edited away some mistakes lol October 2, 2024)

GIF not mine

Steve Harrington was so over everything in his fucking life. He was sick of shitbag father. He was sick of his emotionless mother. He was sick of going to work every day, sick of Hawkins, sick of Indiana, sick of his life.

He was over it—truly.

Eyeing himself up and down and up again, Steve stood in front of his bathroom mirror, critiquing every inch of his body: his scrawny arms, his too skinny shoulders, the bags under his eyes, the scars along his abdomen, even his hair felt flat and volumeless. Steve was just over himself.

Which is why he almost didn’t feel bad when he drove up to Indianapolis to take a train to New York City, and told no one. He did leave a note in case his parents showed up at home, but the chances of that were slim to none. He knew it stupid of him not to tell anyone where he was going, and he knew that he was going to get the scolding of his lifetime from his friends when he eventually called them from New York, but for now he simply just wanted to enjoy the peace and quiet that the train had brought him.

He had brought his walkman with a cassette that was made for him a while ago. Currently, Head Over Heels by Tears for Fears played in his ears as the city pulled into view. He had only been there a couple of times before, but each time the sheer volume of it seemed almost overwhelming at first. It was so different from Hawkins, from Indiana as a whole really, which is why he loved coming to visit so much. He knew that you had just left two weeks ago, a month in advance so you could get settled back into city life, starting up your job. He knew you'd be back in two weeks for the long weekend, and to celebrate with the barbeque your family had been running for years, but truthfully, he just wanted a week or two with you all to himself.

So imagine his surprise when you were actually in your apartment, and not in the library a block away, where he had assumed you’d be. He waited patiently in the lobby, watching the elevator doors, hoping that the next time it opened, it would be you. And it’s true, the third time really is the charm, since you walked out of the elevator in an oversized yellow sweatshirt (that may or may not have been Steve’s), and the sleep shorts you had owned for the past couple years, declaring they were your favorite.

Your eyes lit up at the sight of him, shock and pure joy sprang across your face as your pace immediately picked up. The slippers you decided to wear down to the lobby were more or less halfway off your feet by the time you threw yourself into Steve’s arms.

Steve dropped the duffel bag he had hastily packed next to his feet and wrapped his arms around you, as tightly as possible.

“Hiya sweet girl.” He whispered into your hair, kissing your head softly. “Did ya miss me?”

You snorted into his chest. “That’s a stupid fucking question Steven, we both know you’re smarter than that…” You pulled away and placed a hand on his cheek, the smile never leaving your face.

“Of course I missed you.” You whispered to him, as if it was a secret only meant for him to hear. “Why don’t we head upstairs, yeah? I can show you the billions of boxes I’ve acquired from moving in.”

Steve kissed your forehead before letting go of you to grab the duffel bag that was now on the ground. You moved towards the desk, and filled out the visitor log on the counter before taking Steve’s hand and bringing him towards the elevator. He squeezed your hand lightly and rubbed his thumb back and forth.

“I forgot that fancy miss NYU needed an elevator to get alllllll the way up to her new fancy apartment.” You had been extremely lucky. Your grades and work ethic both in high school, and in your first two years of college, had paid off in scholarships and work studies, meaning that you barely even paid for your education. But this past semester, for the next consecutive school year, you had won a housing scholarship, which meant you got to move into the brand new apartment style dorms for upperclassmen for almost nothing a month.

“Oh please.” You rolled your eyes and scoffed playfully. “It’s an elevator that barely works, and I’m only on the twelfth floor. One of the girls I was telling you about, Jenna? She lives on the twentieth floor. It’s fucking hell when the elevator stops working.”

The elevator door opened, and a couple other students came out, passing the both of you. Steve watches as you smile and say hi to them.

“They’re my neighbors.” You explained, pushing the button to your floor, and the doors closed.

As soon as they did, Steve’s lips were on yours. Your back hit the elevator wall as his knee slotted between your legs. Hummed softly as your arms snaked around his neck, one hand finding a way into his hair, fingers pulling gently on it.

“I missed you too Handsome” You sighed as Steve slowly started to kiss up your jaw. You tugged on his hair again, and he let out what could only be described a one stop short of a whine.

The elevator dinged, and he moved away from you, grabbing your hand.

“Lead the way, gorgeous.”

Steve would follow you to the ends of the earth. Hell he’s followed you to hell, and back again. He’s watched the very hand he’s holding swing an ax and chop off the head of demon dogs that had taken over Hawkins. He’s seen you rip apart a demobat with your bare hands simply because it looked at him. He’s watched you comfort the kids countless times, holding them when they needed more than just words. He’s watched you try to drink and smoke away the nightmares the two of you shared for years. But he’ll gladly settle for following down the carpeted hallway, stained with things he will never want to know about, towards your apartment.

It was just you, which meant that the entire apartment was pretty bare. The walls only had a few things hanging up on them, and you didn’t even have a couch yet. There were boxes everywhere, but not as many considering you had little to nothing that you brought to New York. But, it made Steve happy to see your personality shining through, despite the vicious nature of your high school experience.

You took his bag from his hand and pointed towards the phone.

“How’d you know?”

“Well, Baby, don’t take this the wrong way, but while you’re never one to run away from those you care about, you are absolutely one to run away from your feelings.”

Steve rolled his eyes and started to protest, but you just gave him a quick kiss to silence anything he might have to say.

“Besides, Robin called about thirty minutes before you did, freaking the fuck out. And I refuse to get the brunt end of your beating.”

You kissed the side of his head before leaving the bedroom, to go to the bathroom, decidedly getting ready for bed now, even though it was barely 5 pm. You knew doing your nightly routine once Steve was here was almost a Sisyphean task.

Steve had watched you leave before picking up the phone and dialing Robin’s house. It didn’t even ring twice before it was answered.

“Hello?”

“Hey Rob–”

“Steven Harrington I am going to DROWN you. What the fuck Steve we have been so worried about you, especially when you didn’t show up to drive Dustin and Lucas and Max to school, and then didn’t show up for work two days in a row. I mean Steve, you were missing for over twenty-four hours! Your car wasn’t at your house and we could hear the phone ringing in your house when one of us would call—Eddie even went and led a mini search party around Lover’s Lake. Steve we thought, we….”

Steve pinched his nose while listening to Robin, letting her ramble before she tapered off. “Robs I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to worry anybody but I just need to be alone and just…”

“Where even are you Steve?”

“....I’m uh, I’m…in New York.”

“WHAT. Steve you’ve got to be fucking kidding me, that's like, an eighteen hour train ride, let alone–”

“Rob–”

“The drive up to Indianapolis. I mean Steve we thought you died and instead you were just going on a long distance booty call? Are you fucking insane? Do you know how many people get kidnapped on trains–”

“Robin–”

“Why couldn’t you have just told us where you were going? It’s not that hard top pick up a phone I mean literally exhibit A right now–”

“Robin! Look, I'm sorry. I know what I did was kind of fucked but...Don't call Y/n "a long distance booty call"."

"Sorry. That wasn't..."

"I know." He sighed. "I just needed to not be in Hawkins. I needed to be near her…”

Robin's eyeroll was audible.

“Look Steve, I get it. I miss her too. But you couldn’t have waited another like, two weeks like the rest of us?”

Just then, you walked back into the room; face washed and teeth brushed. You smiled and kissed his check.

“No Robs. I couldn’t. I’ll see you in two weeks, or something.”

“Ste–” He hung up the phone and turned to face his girlfriend.

“How pissed is she?” You asked, turning to face him, watching him take a few breaths. Steve moved towards the windows, and opened one of them up.

“Extremely, but they’ll all be fine.”

“When’s the last time you slept Steve?” You walked over and wrapped your arms around his waist, kissing the spot in between his shoulder blades. He let out a grunt of disapproval, but didn’t move since he enjoyed the feeling of your lips on his back. He breathed in the city air, and it was by no means the fresh air Hawkins used to once have, but it was different and that was all that mattered.

“Do you still have any of the rolls Eddie gave you during Spring Break?” He muttered before turning around and holding you in his arms, kissing your head.

“Oh so you only came up here to get free drugs?”

Steve chuckled and shook his head.

“To answer your question, yes I do. But I have some stuff from the guy who lives a couple floors up, and you cannot tell Eddie but it’s ten times better.”

“You sneaky sneaky girl. Can’t believe the city turned you into such a deviant. Valedictorian of her high school class turned into a big city pothead. What would your mother say?” He fake scolded, giving you one of the looks he frequently gave to Dustin or any of the other kids when they did something even remotely out of the rhetorical line Steve had created.

“If you wanted any, you could’ve said so Stevie.”

The nickname made his heart flutter a little bit. “That’s not what I said.”

“Yeah well now you owe me for calling me a delinquent.”

“Actually it was deviant so now I know you don't even listen to m–” You cut him off by kissing his lips, except the smile on your face was too bright to give him a full kiss.

“Do you want the goods or not Harrington…”

Steve nodded and kissed your head one more time. “Yes please.”

You pulled away from him, much to his dismay, but he watched as you went under your bed. Almost your entire body was completely under the bed, and he heard you moving a couple of things around.

“Are you trying to get back to the Upside Down under there?” He joked as you pull yourself out from under the bed, a ziplock bag containing a couple of blunts in your hand. “Ha ha. Very funny. Hold this.”

“Aye aye Captain.” He gave you a mock salute and took the bag from your hand while you got to work. You grabbed the towel off of the back of your door, rolled it up, and shoved it against the bottom of the door before standing up, pulling a lighter off of your desk.

“Okay gorgeous, get that sexy ass of yours out on the fire escape.”

“Yes ma’am” Steve smiled at you before he clambered onto the fire escape. It was these moments he so desperately craved with you. If he could sit on a fire escape and watch the sunset with you every single night, he would go back to the Upside Down and fight Vecna all over again just to have this moment with you. He sat down against the railing, and let his legs dangle off the side. It seems they weren’t the only ones with this idea, but Steve sure as hell didn’t mind once your thigh was against his. The warmth of the sun mixed with the warmth of your body was more than enough to quell whatever had been going on in his mind. Once he noticed you were staring at him, a light blush tinged his cheeks.

“What.” He grumbled, looking down through the grate at the people below.

“Oh nothing, just observing my very handsome boyfriend, and trying to figure out what was clouding his head so badly that he literally dropped everything and disappeared for twenty four hours because he needed to be near me.”

“What are you getting at lady.” he grumbled, pulling one of the joints, and carefully closing it back up before he chucked it back into your room. He reached behind him and almost closed your window all the way, just enough to squeeze some fingers under to get back inside. He placed the joint in his mouth, and turned to you. You flicked the lighter on, the flame reflecting in both of your eyes before you lit the end of it.

Steve took a deep drag. He let it fill his lungs. He needed it to push away all of those doubts from before.

After a moment, he slowly exhaled and handed you the joint, still looking forward. The view was really something, considering the fact that if he stared directly across, it was into some elderly woman’s apartment with at least three different cats. But if he turned and looked down the rest of the street, he could see so much more of the city than he ever thought he would be able to.

You looked at him, taking your own slow inhale of the joint. You placed it on the ashtray near the window and took his hand in yours.

“Want to tell me what’s running through that pretty head of hair?”

Steve scoffed before looking down at you. Your eyes were swimming, drowning really, in worry. You kept looking over all of his face before settling back on his eyes. “Steve…” Your voice had gotten softer, and you rubbed your thumb against his hand. “I need you to tell me why you’re here. I promise I’m not mad. I’m actually super relieved that you’re here, if I’m being so truthfully honest Steve. But I know you–I’m actually quite proud of how well I know considering you’re basically a brick wall—Sorry, rambling. But the main point is that you just up and left Hawkins. You traveled halfway across the country for me, and I am so flattered but baby, what’s going on?”

Steve kissed your hand, before reaching back and grabbing the joint. He took another hit of it, enjoying the ambiance of the city surrounding him.

“Steve please talk to me.”

He placed the joint back in the ashtray before placing his hand on your thigh. The sun was getting closer to the horizon, and the temperature was slowly starting to cool, but just enough to make it bearable. If he looked at you, he might just break.

But you weren’t having any of it. You took your free hand and gently guided his chin, subtly forcing him to look at you.

“Steve. I need you to tell me what’s going on or I can’t help.”

“Maybe it’s nothing you can fix.” He rasped out, taking in a gasp of breath. The tears quickly started to build up behind his lash line. And he tried so hard to keep them at bay. He didn’t need to cry in front of you, he didn’t want to cry in front of you. “Fuck. Sorry.” He quickly wiped at his eyes a couple of times, desperately trying to keep it together in front of you.

“Don't apologize when you haven't done a single thing wrong." You quickly grabbed both of his hands and pulled them away from his face. "At least give me the chance to try and help with whatever is going on.”

Steve bit his lip and looked away from you. “It’s so stupid. Fuck. It’s so fucking stupid. I just had this moment.” He started, “I had this moment yesterday and I was in the bathroom and I was just looking. I could see every single fucking thing wrong with me. It’s like I was making some sick fucking list or some shit. And-And I needed to get out so badly. I couldn’t stay in that house. That stupid house. I needed to leave Hawkins. If I stayed I–” He stopped himself, tears rolling down his cheeks, he finally looked at you. Steve took a couple of breaths before finally continuing, focusing on the way your thumb rubbed across his cheek, despite the light stubble adorning his chin. He looked into your eyes, which were patiently waiting for him to continue.

You were looking at Steve as if he were the only thing worth saving in this world. And it's a look he's seen before.

“I needed you. And I just couldn’t wait two weeks for some three day visit where I was barely going to get maybe three hours alone with you. I just–Fuck.” He placed his hands on your wrists, turning his head and kissing the palm of your hand. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m still not sure what you're sorry about Steve.” You smiled sweetly at him, saccharine in every single way possible. He didn’t understand what he had done in the world to possibly deserve someone like you, but he was sure as hell not about to let you go. How could you just sit there and listen to him, and love him so sweetly, when he was so fucked up, inside and out. His body was marred with reminders of everything they had been through. His mind was thoroughly fucked up, and he quite literally runs away from himself and his friends and–

“Steve.”

His eyes refocused on you.

“Why don’t we go inside and lie down. I have a gut feeling you haven’t slept in at least twenty-four hours.” You had managed to move from sitting next to him, to kneeling, all while keeping a hand on his cheek.Your thumb was wiping away any stray tears left over. Your other hand was slowly rubbing your thumb across his thigh, it could not have been the most comfortable of positions but somehow you made it look like it was nothing.

Steve shook his head. “No, no. I’m fine I promise, shit.” He turned away from you, getting up.

“Steven, I am not doing this right now. You ran away from your house, and traveled halfway across the country to come see me. You haven’t slept in a couple of days, clearly. I need you to climb back through that window and change into whatever you need to for sleeping because you are not okay right now, and I’d rather be a little bitchy just to get you in my bed, then sit here while you pull away from the one person you came here to see.”

Steve pursed his lips and looked over at you. “You’re not gonna stop until you get me in your bed are you?” his joke only landed slightly flat as you huffed at him, the ghost of a smile on your face.

“Move it or lose it Harrington.”

He nodded and leaned down to grab the ashtray for you, but you had beat him to it. “You’re getting slow, old man.”

Steve rolled his eyes before opening up the window back into your room, and climbing through it. You followed him through, placing the ashtray on your dresser. You turned around to close the window and the curtains, while Steve just sat on the bed and watch you.

“I know you’re staring at me creep.”

“Can’t help it. Sorry.”

You huffed at his antics before turning around and making your way towards him. Laying down on your bed, you found yourself between his legs, arms wrapped around his neck, hands playing with the edges of his hair. “Steve you are far from perfect–”

“Gee thanks.” He gave you a weird look, but you continued anyway.

“But, let me finish, you are not some fucked up…thing, that can’t be fixed. In fact, you’re not some toy or whatever that is supposed to be fixed. You’re not a shattered figurine in your moms stupid little china cabinet or a bent golf club in your dad’s honestly weirdly large putter collection. You are just someone trying their best to get by and it is enough. Being fixed means there is this ideal of perfect that you have to be, but there is not a stupid goal that you need to always be at Steve. You are absolutely amazing the way you are. You are braver than anyone I’ve ever met. You are sometimes too kind for your own good, constantly giving and giving to others when you have nothing else to give but parts of yourself. And you are one of the most selfless people on this earth. You have sacrificed so much Steve, and that doesn’t make you any less, or make you this broken…thing. It just means that you have lived a life that most people couldn’t even imagine, and you are still more than enough for the people who love and care about you.”

Steve kissed you.

He couldn't say much of anything to show you how much you meant to him.

“I love you.” He muttered against your lips, pulling you tighter against his body as he continued to deepen the kiss, letting his tongue sweep across your bottom lip. Hands roaming across bodies. Soft gasps for air. Neediness pouring out from the both of you.

He need to show you that you how grateful he was.

You couldn’t get enough of his lips. It had only been a few weeks since you had seen him last, kissed him last, but that was just far too long ago. You had been thinking about him while you wandered around your nearly empty apartment. Something felt like it was missing, and with Steve here, kissing you into bliss, the apartment felt full. It felt like everything was where it was supposed to be–always connected to him, giving life to one another. Your body flush against as much as his as you could, hands pushing against his neck, to try and get impossible closer to the boy who holds your heart in his chest with his own.

“I love you too Steve.” You manage out once the both of you part for more than a semblance of breath. He smiled at that and kissed your jaw softly. “I missed you so much babygirl.”

A soft hum left your mouth, enjoying the warmth of his lips as they slowly moved towards your ear, your neck. His hands had made their way to your hips, fingers gently pushing into the soft flesh.

“You have no idea how much I missed having you in my bed every morning.” Lips finding the soft spot behind your ear. “In my car.” He nipped at your ear, earning him a soft exhale that fell from your lips. “On my couch. In the pool.” He started to slowly kiss down your neck, sucking a bit harder in certain spots he had spent so many hours memorizing. “Mostly. I missed coming home, and getting to fall asleep in the same bed as you.” He sucked on the soft spot of your neck, right above your collarbone, and a soft moan tumbled from your lips as he did. You felt the smirk on his lips, but it was quickly replaced with Steve marking your neck, a hickey that would take too much concealer to hide.

“Fuck Steve.” Your body was glued to his, a slow heat rising through your veins. You shifted slightly, trying to squeeze your legs together, get some friction down where you needed it the most. “Please baby.”

Steve blew softly on the mark he just left before kissing back up your neck to your lips. “Please, what, babygirl.”

“Stop being such a tease.” You grumbled, running your hand through his hair, before grabbing some of it and gently tugging, eliciting a throaty moan from Steve’s pretty lips. He fucking loved when you did that. “When am I not?” He bit his lip as the two of you looked at each other.

You shoved his chest just enough to get him sitting back down on the bed, so that you could climb up and straddle the boy. “If you want to be a tease, than I can do the same thing.” You whispered in his ear, earning a strangled sound coming from Steve’s throat.

You slowly rolled your hips, feeling the bulge in his jeans grow larger at the contact. “I can tell how much you missed me Stevie.” There was that fucking nickname again. It had him preening as you rolled your hips again. His hands immediately went to your waist, pushing you down and helping you grind against him.

Your lips made their way to his neck, to his collarbone. “Baby take your shirt off.” You muttered at him, stopping your movements for a second to help him pull it up and over his body. Your hands immediately found their way to his chest, lips crashing back to his, desperate to get your hands all over his body as if you were touch starved, maybe you were. And Steve would completely agree with you. His was just not touching you enough.

One of his hands made it around your waist to your back still guiding the way your clit rubbed against the bulge in his jeans. His other hand went in between the two and he slid it under your shorts.

Your breath hitched and your hips stuttered, losing their rhythm a bit as Steve rolled his middle finger around your clit. He smirked as you closed your eyes and let out a moan, grinding your hips a little harder, starting to ride his fingers, his hand.

“Stevie please.” You mumbled, resting your forehead on his shoulder, letting out another moan as he pushed your underwear to the side, letting the rest of his fingers ghost over your throbbing clit.

“What Babygirl. What do you need? Tell me what you want." He whispered in your ear, slowly pushing two of his fingers further south to feel just how wet you were for him.

“Oh baby…”

You whined at his words.

“I want you t-to touch me Stevie.” You moaned into his ear as he shoved his fingers further down. Your hips jolted as he ran his fingers up your pussy, letting him feel just how wet you were. He brought his hand out from under both of you and you whined again, this time in protest at the loss of his hand.

“Is this all for me, sweet girl.” He squeezed your waist, making you sit up slowly and look at him, grinding a little more desperate now that he pulled his hand away. You watched as he stuck his fingers in his mouth, tasting you. Your jaw opened slightly, and your eyes darkened as he moaned, tasting just how good and sweet you were.

“Fuck Steve. Stop being such a fucking tease.” You barely managed out before you shoved his chest hard enough that he fell backwards onto his elbows on your bed. He looked up at you, eyes blown wide with the thought of fucking you sensless. “Get all the way on the bed Steve.”

Steve, with little to no hesitation scrambled back onto the bed so he was fully laying down across it. His elbows reach your pillows as he barely holds himself up, watching as you eyed the strained denim where his dick was practically screaming to be touched.

Once you had decided he moved far enough away, You took off the yellow crew neck revealing the lack of bra underneath. Steve groaned as your nipples pebbled from the contact to the air, regardless of how warm it was in the apartment. He moved to sit up but you just shoved his chest, and he fell back on his elbows. Your body rolled slightly, unhappy at the loss of contact from Steve, but you wanted something, and you knew that if you asked Steve to get you the moon, he would steal a couple extra stars just in case, which is why you wanted to suck him off before you asked him.

“Baby I wanna taste you.”

Steve’s eyes closed and his breathing became staggered. “U-Uh yea baby, what..um. Whatever you want.”

“I want you to watch me. But..” His heart started beating faster as he felt you palm him over his jeans. He let out a breathy moan. “You can’t touch me.”

Steve’s eyes flew open and as you pulled any of the hair that had fallen in your face, out of it. “W-What. Y/n..”

You kept your hand slowly palming at his bulge as you moved up along his body to kiss hip lips. Your tits ghosted over his chest making him shiver at the faint contact, and making your breath hitch at the way the contact felt on your nipples. “If you don’t touch me baby, You get a prize.” You kissed him softly, a contrast to the way you had been talking to him before. You were asking him to trust you. He kissed back and nodded. “Y-yeah, baby.” He managed out before leaning up on his elbows again, to watch you.

You let your hands rake down his chest, your touch leaving chills down his body, and made his dick jump, causing goosebumps all over his body.

“Fuck gorgeous.”

You smirked up at him before kissing the little line of his V that was peeking out from above his jeans, using one of your hands to pop the button. You managed to pull off his jeans and boxers in one pull, something you bragged about to your friends whenever they asked about your sex life, but that was neither here nor there.

You both watched as his dick sprang free, hitting his stomach. The movement caused Steve to whine a bit. “Baby I’ve got you cumming before I’ve even touched you.” You muttered to him, spitting into your hand before grabbing him.

Steve lifted his hips into your hands, unable to stop himself. “Fuck babygirl.” He exhaled, watching as you licked the precum dripping down his dick. You moved your other hand down to his balls and squeezed them gently in your hand, watching as he tilted his head back and moaned.

“You like that Stevie?” You smirked as he bucked his hips up, trying to resist the urge to fuck himself with your hand. You paused, waiting for him to make eye contact again. Once he managed to gain some semblance of his mind back, he titled his head up, chest rapidly rising and falling, looking into your eyes. The sheer control you had over him just made you hotter than possible.

Slowly, you started moving your hand up and down, watching as he squirmed, trying not to rush you. Eventually, you moved one of your hands up your body and slowly started palming at your own tits. Slowly rolling your nipple between your thumb and pointer finger, moaning at the feeling. Steve was about to lose his fucking mind.

You were getting off watching yourself fuck him.

You smirked at him once he realized what you were doing. “Tell me what to touch next baby.”

Steve moaned loudly, and tilted his head back for a moment, trying to focus on anything other than the feeling of your hand on his dick and your hand on your tits, pleasuring yourself.

“Tell me where to touch next Steve.”

He managed to look back up at you, his hips slowly quickening as you continued to touch your chest. “W-Where do you–fuck princess–where do you want to be-be touched.” His eyes couldn’t leave your form as you licked your lips and slowly kissed down his dick, before slowly licking all the way up it again.

“I wanna see how wet you are.” He managed out before he moaned again. “B-baby I’m not….” He squeezed his eyes shut. “I’m not gonna last much longer if you..”

“I know Stevie.” You cooed as you continued to move your hand up and down his length. “But you’re such a good boy, you’re doing so good for me.”

Steve’s jaw dropped and his chest was rising and falling faster and faster. You were moving just slow enough, teasing just enough, to keep him on the edge.

You let go of him, making him panic and open his eyes. “Baby please, fuck I’m so close pl—” But the words froze in his throat once he watched as you slowly trailed that same hand down your own body and rub your clit with your thumb, letting out a moan, just for him. His mouth went dry as you slowly stuck two fingers into that pretty little cunt of yours, moaning slightly as you did, before pulling them out, covered in your pretty little wetness, just for him.

The sound that left Steves mouth was not human, as he watched you slather yourself around his dick, just to then slowly put him in your mouth, letting him almost bottom out in your throat.

“Oh my god.” He moaned out. “Fuck, baby, fuck I’m gonna–” He cut himself off with a moan as you slowly started to bob on his dick, choking slightly everytime you took him all the way in. You squeezed his thigh softly to let him know it was okay before you moved your hand back to his balls, squeezing them every time he bottomed out in your mouth. The sight alone was enough to make him cum right then and there, but what did him in was the way you kept twisting your tongue around the tip, just making him sensitive enough. You felt his dick twitching as he fucked up into your mouth.

“Baby I–I–, Fuck Baby I’m gonna cu–” His orgasm hit him like a fucking freight train as he came in your mouth. Steve moaned your name loudly in between the rest of the moans he could barely contain. You felt the cum dripping down the back of your throat as you held his hips down, still moving your head, letting him let it all out into your mouth.

Once he had been pushed to the brink of overstimulation, and his dick started to soften, you sat up and slowly crawled over him, raking your eyes over the wreckage you caused. His hands found quickly wrapped around your body and pulled you flush against him. Steve was sure you could hear his heart beating out of his chest. You slowly raked one of your hands through his hair.

You slowly kissed his jaw, waiting for him to come to.

Steve eventually was able to open his eyes, and look down at you. “What’s my prize you fucking deviant.” He managed out, voice still wrecked from the sheer amount of sound that came out while he fucked your mouth. His hands were slowly roaming over your body, touching every inch of you.

You laughed softly and kissed his jaw again as he squeezed your ass with his hand. Propping yourself up on one elbow, you kissed his lips softly.

“You’re fucking beautiful.” he mumbled against your lips, listening as you sighed so prettily.

“Baby if you’re too fucked out, I can save your prize for tomorrow morning.” You whispered against his lips, slowly rubbing your thumb across his pecs, humming as he squeezed your ass again.

“No fucking way because if that’s what I got to earn a prize, then I want the fucking prize.” Pressing you against him, watching as you still squeezed your legs together.��

“I want to ride you...”

Steve looked at you, almost cautiously, “Anything you want gorgeo-”

“—Your face.”

A quiet ‘oh’ left his mouth, while a blush spread across your face.

“Don’t get all shy on me now princess.” His hand reach down and tilted your chin up, forcing you to look back at him.

“If you’re sure then who am I to deny such a fucking prize.” He licked his lips, lust blown eyes met yours as you let out the breathe you were holding.

Steve watched as you nodded and lightly tapped against his chest, signaling for him to lay back down. You maneuvered out of your pajama shorts and underwear, tossing them across the room–finding them was a later problem.

Your legs straddled over Steve’s chest, and his hands slowly slid up your thighs, letting his thumbs rub against the soft doughy flesh. Everytime he moved his thumbs up closer and closer, your hips would start to roll ever so slightly.

“Steve…” You sighed out as he kissed up your thigh, before switching to the other one whenever he got too close. Except this time, you couldn’t reprimand him for teasing you, since you were his prize, and he could fuck you seven ways to heaven if he wanted.

Frustration was starting to build up as he kept ghosting his lips over your cunt. Steve watched as your thighs started to shake, your chest heaving up and down, and your hair messily framing the most hypnotizing eyes, watching his every move, begging him to touch her.

Steve could spend the rest of his life worshiping you–your thighs wrapped around his face, kissing up your stomach to reach your lips, leaving hickies spread across your chest like stars. So when he hooked his arms under your thighs, and pulled you down towards his mouth, he felt as if he was in heaven, hearing the yell of excitement leave your lips, quickly replaced with a moan as he slowly licked up your entire cunt. Flicking his tongue around your lip, and feeling your whole body react.

Your hands shot out and clung to the headboard as Steve used his tongue to slowly draw figure eights across your clit.

“Oh my god. Fuck. Steve—Baby please–” You let out a load moan when Steve shoved his tongue up into you, his nose brushing your clit.

Your hips were moving as you began to ride his face. Steve just continued to lap up into you, moaning once he realized you were fucking yourself on his face.

The vibrations ran straight through your body and to your tits. “Fuc-Fuck Stevie Baby.”

Your moans only made his tongue move faster, before he brought one of his hands down and started rubbing your clit with his thumb.

Your orgasm was quickly building in the pit of your stomach. You felt it grow as he moaned again when your thighs started to squeeze his head.

Moans and swears and gasps continued to fall from your mouth as you rode his mouth.

Steve was completely drunk on you, lapping up your wetness as if he was a man starved. The noises you were making were beyond pornographic as he continued to fuck you with his tongue.

“Fuck—Steve, fuck baby. I’m–Can I come Stevie fuck.”

His brain short circuted for a moment as you continued to beg him to let you cum all over his face, make a mess of his lips and chin and chest.

He looked up at you, eyes connecting with his. Just as you did, Steve quickly shifted your hips and sucked on your clit, while rolling it around with his tongue.

It was too much.

You screamed his name as you came all of his face, hips spasming and he continued, pinning you down with his arms, not letting you move away from his mouth. You were the prettiest sight to see, cumming over him, like a goddess.

He shifted slightly and started to fuck up into you with his tongue again, forcing you to start riding his mouth again, nose hitting your clit causing you to moan his name over and over again. Before the first orgasm was even over, the pressure of another one forced its way through your body.

One of your hands flew down into Steve’s hair, yanking on it roughly, causing him to moan into you. Your mouth opened but no sound came out as you gushed into Steve's mouth, pushing through your second orgasm, and him gladly drinking it up.

This time, it was too much and your hips jerked away from his face, and onto his chest, soaking it.

The two of you were panting as your body seized and shuddered, letting the pleasure roll over and over and over until it was bearable enough to look down at steve.

His face glistened with your cum, dripping down his lips—it was the hottest sight you had ever seen.

Neither of you said anything as you sat on his chest, body still shifting everytime another wave of your orgasm hit you, leaking down his chest.

He just slowly placed kisses along your thighs, watching you come down from the intense high, thumb gently rubbing against your hip.

“Don’t look at me..” You manage out quietly, a soft laugh following it.

Steve kissed your thigh again. “Want me to let go of your legs baby?”

“Not yet.” was his answer, and he complied, just watching as you slowly finished coming down.

“Mmmkay.” You whispered and slowly lifted yourself off of his chest, and moved your leg around so you could lay down next to Steve.

Steve sat up quickly, and kissed you, fervently but softly, letting your body relax. His lips didn't leave yours as he slowly finished laying you down.

Eventually steve broke off the kisses and got off the bed to wipe you off his chest.

The second your head hit the pillow, your eyes were closing and sleep was edging closer and closer.

Steve watched as your breaths started to even out and kissed your forehead before wandering off and locating the bathroom. He smiled as he switched on the lights, and the mirror in front of him lit up. He dug through one of the boxes, eventually finding a towel and using it to clean up your messy adventure, but looking at himself in the mirror.

Maybe everything was just the way it was supposed to be, maybe he was fucked up and flawed and his body was wrecked with scars, but—

“Steve?” He heard your voice carry through the apartment, pulling him from his moment.

You watched as he walked back into the bedroom.

“Are you okay?” You had made your way under the covers of your bed, eyes narrowing at his prolonged abscence from your bed.

“I’m okay babygirl. How are you doin’?” He slipped under the covers and pulled you into his chest, arms wrapped snuggly around your back.

Your lips kissed his neck softly before you rested your forehead on his collar.

“If you're just going to keep running to the city to see me." You muttered. "You should move in.”

Steve is sure he misheard you, but when you look up at him with those eyes, he knows you’re dead serious.

Maybe everything was perfectly fine, maybe he was perfectly okay.

“I’d love nothing more babygirl.” He whispered, kissing your forehead, watching as you smiled contently, starting to drift off to sleep.

And suddenly, it was quiet, except for the soft inhale and exhale of your breath. But this time, instead of everything wrong, all he could think about was how right everything was.

And for the first time, in a long time, Steve Harrington was looking forward to what his everything could be.

#steve harrington #steve harrington x y/n fluff #Steve Harrington x reader #x reader #Steve Harrington x reader Drabble #Steve Harrington x reader smut #Steve Harrington x fem!reader #Steve Harrington smut #Steve Harrington x reader one shot #Steve Harrington Drabble #Steve Harrington one shot

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pommpuriinn · 1 year ago

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˙✧˖°📷 ༘ ⋆｡˚ FUN NIGHT IN PARIS

˚ ༘ ೀ synopsis ⋆｡˚Joohyung and Beomgyu share their first night in Paris in a memorable way, and of course they have to remember it so they decide to film it

˚ ༘ ೀ warnings ⋆｡˚switch!joohyung, switch!beomgyu, nicknames (puppy, goddess, my love), unprotected, lots of spit, filming, creampie, cumplay

˚ ༘ ೀ author’s note⋆｡˚this is my second time writing smut and I hope it’s good enough also fyi Joohyung changed her hair right before the award shows, so now she added extensions in her hair to make it long again along with dyeing it a pearly white color along with getting a hime cut (inspo pic kinda)

After an exhausting 14 hour flight along with getting modded and grabbed by so call “fans” everyone made it to their separate hotel rooms in Paris. Basically Beomgyu and Joohyung, they usually always share a room together when they’re flying out of Korea. Staff helped bring in their suitcases before finally leaving the two alone after the chaotic night they had. Joohyung took off her gentle monster glasses and threw them onto the bedside table, along with sliding off her winter coat and leaving it on the floor next to her heels before plopping herself on to their king size bed. “That wasn’t the way I wanted to enter Paris, but what can you do.” She scoffed while she moved to lay on her side staring out into the city view.

“They shouldn’t have grabbed you and Yeonjun hyung like that.” Beomgyu sat next to her head and gently lifted the wrist the person gripped on and kissed the inside of it. Joohyung stared at Beomgyu with her siren like eyes watching his doe eyes meet hers. It was like they gave each other a mutual agreement on what was going to happen next. Maybe it was the cups of wine the Dior team feed them as a ‘thank you for coming’ before taking them to their rooms that has them feeling hot and hungry for each other.

One thing led to another and Joohyung pushed Beomgyu’s head down so their lips can meet. It wasn’t long before their tongues swirled against each other sharing their saliva. Beomgyu became desperate, he held Joohyung’s chin in place and started sucking her tongue. Moving up and down, “nah~” Joohyung whimpered at the sight and feeling. The two separated and as they slowly pull away a string of saliva connected them. “Come on puppy, I know what you want.” Joohyung teased Beomgyu, as she took off her shirt along with her bra leaving her bare boobs out. Beomgyu wasted no time diving into Joohyung’s breasts. Licking, sucking, and bitting Joohyung’s pink nipples and all around her boobs is Beomgyu’s favorite activity when it comes to sex. “So plump-“ lick, “so round-“ playing and squeezing them, “so fucking soft-“ bite. “Ah! Puppy so rough.” Joohyung pouted down at Beomgyu. “I’m sorry my love,” he caressed them. “I’m addicted to them like all those sick fucks are.” Beomgyu gave kisses to them before going back to swirl their tongues together.

He was referring to all those men watching her fancams just to catch a glimpse of her boobs bounce during her dancing. “Maybe we can not only show them, but show all those girls who think they can have you huh?” Joohyung grabbed Beomgyu’s iPhone which quickly become his personal phone after they got the sponsorship with Samsung. She unlocked it and press the camera app and placed the phone on the bedside table angling it to get the perfect shot of them. “Let’s record it.” Joohyung pressed record. “God I love you.” Beomgyu pulled Joohyung by her arm and started making out with her again.

“Be a good puppy and get undressed.” Joohyung pulled away and demanded. Beomgyu threw his shirt across the room along with pants and underwear leaving him completely nude. “Now help me.” Joohyung gave Beomgyu an innocent look over shoulder. His body was on auto pilot mode and immediately bent down and pulled down her pants. Seeing Joohyung’s wet panties and vaguely seeing her pussy lips drove Beomgyu crazy. “Fuck my love.” Feeling his hot breath near her pussy cause her to get even wetter. “Beom-ya!” Joohyung gasped, as Beomgyu laid his tongue flat against her wet underwear licking up her neuter through her underwear. Joohyung moaned looking right at the phone that was catching everything. He then placed one of Joohyung’s legs on top of bed giving him more access. “A-ah you dirty mutt.” Joohyung threw her head back, as she pushed his head closer to her wet pussy. The phone started picking up the wet sounds coming from Beomgyu’s mouth. “I’m gonna c-cum!” Joohyung started grinding into his mouth. “Cum my precious noona.” Beomgyu moaned into her soaked underwear. “Oh shit! Just like that you fucking mutt.” Joohyung grinded a finally time into Beomgyu’s face before cumming.

Beomgyu gave little kisses to your covered pussy before fully pulling away and grabbing his phone off the table, and started recording him slowly pulling down your ruin underwear showing your arousal sticking to your underwear. “This is some precious shit right here.” He ran his middle down your cunt making you whimper holding his wrist. “Come on noona we can’t stop now.” He was getting cocky. “Look since you called me a mutt let me fuck you like one.” Beomgyu pushed Joohyung down onto the bed laying on her stomach. He quickly placed the phone back in its place. “God look at this sweet ass.” Beomgyu gave both soft cheeks a spank or two. Joohyung whimpered into the sheets, tightly holding on to them. Beomgyu started to rut against Joohyung’s ass and sometimes against her sensitive pussy getting his dick wet.

It didn’t take long before Beomgyu slamming his dick right into Joohyung’s tight cunt. “G-Gyu! Please fuck me!” Feeling Beomgyu’s long and veiny cock inside of her drove crazy. Beomgyu laid himself onto Joohyung’s back while holding a makeshift ponytail to keep her head up, as he continued abusing her tight pussy. “Fuck-your clenching on me.” Beomgyu moaned right into her ear. “Kiss me.” Joohyung whimpered. Beomgyu smashed his lips onto hers both moaning into it. Beomgyu’s cocky ass looked straight into the camera and smirked, as they started french kissing. He imagined all the pathetic men wishing to be in his place fucking their idol. Looking back at Joohyung and seeing her fucked out face really drove him to the edge and fucked her even harder.

The skin slapping noise echoing through out the room was so loud anybody passing by the room will know exactly what’s going on. “Cum i-in me. I want it so bad.” Joohyung cried. Visible tear stains were under her eyes clearly enjoying Beomgyu’s roughness. Beomgyu knew Joohyung loves getting creampied which is also his favorite knowing that he’s claiming her with his seed and only his. “Cum with me Jooie.” Beomgyu squeezed Joohyung’s throat causing her to immediately cum on his dick. Beomgyu gave a final hard thrust filling Joohyung’s womb up with his white sticky cum.

“You give me so much cum puppy.” Joohyung lazily giggled also trying to catch her breath. Beomgyu mumbled, “you’re welcome.” Also catching his breath while slowly getting up from Joohyung’s back. His dick slowly slides out leaving her pussy with a little ‘pop’ sound. Joohyung could finally turn to lay on her back still fucked out and tried. Beomgyu’s cum slowly started leaking out of her cunt catching Beomgyu’s attention. Once again he reaches over to get his phone and focuses it on her leaking cunt. “Look how pretty she looks.” Beomgyu starts rubbing his cum all around her pussy causing Joohyung to twitch, as he’s overstimulating her. “Beomgyu~” Joohyung moaned. “Fuck baby taste it.” Beomgyu took his cum covered fingers up against Joohyung’s lips wanting her to suck on them. Joohyung gladly took his two fingers in her mouth making sure to clean the cum right off. “Mm, tasty.” She laughed, as she looked into phone camera.

“Clean me as well noona.” Beomgyu moved closer up to her face and slapped his dick on her lips. Joohyung swirled around his tip causing him to groaned, “my fucking goddess.” Joohyung took in more of Beomgyu making sure every inch was cleaned off. “And yes I’m going to be the one having his babies.” Joohyung talked to the phone. She was referring to all his fan girls constantly thirsting over Beomgyu and having fake scenarios with him in person. “Only you, love.” Beomgyu turned off his phone and went down to kiss Joohyung and it wasn’t a rough kiss it was a lovely one, soft and gentle.

The couple rested for 30 minutes before Beomgyu got up and started running a shower for the both of them since they both were sweaty and sticky. After showering they did their skincare routine together along with brushing their teeth, and finally getting dressed to sleep. Joohyung immediately went straight to sleep once she hit the pillow while Beomgyu was doing his big spoon duties along with caressing some of her sore spots before going to sleep himself.

#txt 6th member #txt additional member #kpop added member #kpop additional member #kpop female addition #txt female member #txt female addition #txt scenarios #txt smut #kpop female oc

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silentglassbreak · 1 year ago

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Anonymous

Noah Sebastian x OFC

Here's the 3rd part. Hoping to also get this one up quick. This story is really coming together in my head. Also, I know I promised smut, and so far have not delivered. That is coming, pinkly promise. We've got to get the foundation man!

Warnings: Alcohol abuse, overall abuse, mild violence (ie. bar fights), smut, swearing, and altogether just a lot of fuckery.

+It goes without saying. This is a work of fiction. My words are mine. Plagiarism is a crime.

Part 3 - The Grey

Sleep was a wild idea, given everything I had learned last night. I couldn't seem to quit scrolling through Google, YouTube, listening. I felt as though I was educating myself. Learning, in some way, what I was getting into. I wanted to see what I could learn about him, but he was an overall private human, even for a musician.

I did learn he is a Scorpio, born on Halloween. Originally from Virginia. The names of his bandmates. He had quite a few wonderful songs that I had added to my iTunes quickly after hearing them. So far, my favorite was Limits, which was saying a lot, given Just Pretend was still so incredible.

Throughout all of my 'research', the most important fact I learned was that Noah was very good at hiding his alcoholism. I expected to see articles, tweets, or even a TikTok about some scandal. An arrest? A fight? A drunken performance? I found nothing.

I suspect Noah is what I consider a silent drunk. Someone who doesn't drink for fun, but for release. For something to escape to. This had to be true, because I found zero evidence of his addiction on social media or in the depths of Google. I even shamelessly searched 'Noah Sebastian alcoholic' and came up with some very strange fanfiction. Interesting thought...

This almost worried me more. This meant I was going into this blind. The rockstar lifestyle was something not only musicians lived. So how did he manage to do it so quietly? Was his publicist just that good? Did he even have one?

Despite my determination, sleep finally took hold about 4AM, me waking up at noon with the videos of their music still playing on YouTube. I slammed my laptop closed and wiped the drool from my lips.

I needed caffeine.

I slipped into my house slippers, and sauntered to the kitchen, Angel following behind. I heard his quiet whine, and quickly paced to the back door to let him out before he had an accident.

Once I had slurped down half of my energy drink and let Angel back in, I snatched my phone from my bedside table. Sitting on the edge of my bed, I checked through my notifications.

Given it was my day off, I wasn't surprised to see a text from Sam asking if I wanted to come in and help him with his case files. I didn't even open it. That should answer that question.

I opened my messages to reach out to Laura. Her and I needed to speak immediately.

Before I could open her thread, I noticed a message from Noah, which made my throat dry.

Noah: Hollywood Palladium. Doors open at 6PM, but you should get there about 5 to get into your suite. I'll text you once I get offstage and we can figure out how you'll smuggle me out. We go on before Motionless in White.

Noah: Thank you again, Leena. I know this is a pain for you.

This guy isn't actually real. He is sweet as honey. Smooth as butter. And wakes up at 6:30AM, apparently? Who the fuck is this guy?

Me: I'll be there. I haven't told Laura yet. Pray for me.

His response came quickly.

Noah: Our Father, who art in heaven. Hallowed be thy name...

I only responded with laughing emojis and flipped to Laura's thread.

Me: Can you talk?

This was our code. She was working and if she was busy, she would respond. If she wasn't, she'd call.

My phone vibrated in my hand immediately.

"Hey." My voice was a fucking mess. I realized I hadn't used it at all yet.

"What the fuck is up, Kyle? You getting sick?" I cleared my throat and sighed.

"No. Just woke up."

"Late night? You doing okay?" I could hear the concern. 3 years sober, didn't mean it wasn't still something to keep an eye on.

"Yeah babe, I'm good. I need to fucking talk to you, though."

"Sure, what's going on?"

I sighed, not even knowing how to begin. I couldn't exactly tell her the lead singer of one of her favorite bands was a newly recovering alcoholic. Not without permission.

"I uh..." My brain drew a blank. "have not thought this through."

The other end was silent.

"You sure you're okay?"

I sighed hard. "I met Noah Sebastian."

Now there was dead silence on the phone.

"I'm so fucking sorry, I've lost my mind. Can you repeat that?" Her voice was deadly.

"You heard me."

"Noah Sebastian? From Bad Omens?!" I could hear her voice raising some octaves.

"Yeah a few days ago."

"Fucking where?!" I had to hold the phone at a distance from my ear.

"At...my work." My brain worked overtime to work out this lie.

"I call bullshit." She is too good at seeing through me.

"Laura, would you fucking listen?"

"Noah Sebastian did not walk into a fucking mortgage office and just happen to meet my best friend, the loan officer. Bullshit."

"Laura, listen!"

"Fuck! Fine! What?!" I could feel her irritation.

"I have tickets to their show tonight. In their VIP booth."

"Did you help him buy a house or some shit?!" That actually wasn't bad.

"Possibly. Still up in the air."

"You're such a fucking liar."

"Do you want to go or not? We'll be seeing him after."

I could feel her jaw drop to the floor. "We're going to meet the band?"

"No, not the band. I don't think. Just Noah."

"Just Noah? Christ Mileena, did you fuck him or something?!"

"Absolutely not! Laura what the hell?!"

"What?? You don't even listen to Bad Omens." I scoffed at that.

"I fucking do now."

After a solid hour of interrogatories from Laura, planning on getting to the event (I would drive, obviously) and what we would wear, we finally hung up.

I had about three and a half hours before I had to leave to pick her up. I had enough time for a walk with Angel, lunch, and to get ready.

When Angel and I set out on the sidewalk, and I had set up my AirPods (3 guesses who I was listening to), my phone chimed with a text. I groaned. Didn't we get through enough details?

When I saw the text though, I was surprised to see Noah's name.

Noah: Hey, weird request, but could I call you for like ten minutes?

I was puzzled, but typed a quick affirmative response.

My phone rang a few moments later.

"Hello?"

"Hey, I'm sorry." His immediate apology confused me.

"Sorry for what?" I could hear him chuckle, his voice slightly hushed.

"Calling. I know it's weird." I half-smiled. There was a level of innocence to Noah that made me feel better about this entire situation.

"Noah, I'm your sponsor. You're allowed to call me any time, day or night."

"But what if I call you at 3AM cause I'm craving sugar?"

I shook my head, weaving down the sidewalk with Angel heeling nicely at my left.

"Then we go get ice cream?"

I could hear the smile in his voice. "No way. You don't mean that."

I proudly responded. "Wouldn't be the first time."

He only snorted in response. I did wonder why he needed to call.

"Are you okay?"

"Mm, yeah. We're at the venue. Did sound check a while ago. The guys cracked open some beers. I told them I was going to take a quick walk to get some air. I feel like they might know something." His concern was thick in his words.

"Ah, okay. Well, super proud of you for walking away. That's amazing on it's own."

"Yeah?" He sounded unsure.

"Oh, one hundred percent."

"Thanks Leena." He sighed. His voice then came out a little smoother. "Did you talk to Laura?"

"I did."

"And how did that go?"

I smirked. "Well, she doesn't believe that I met you at work, so now she's got horrific ideas of how I met you, but she's in."

This made him laugh. "Horrific like how?!"

"I won't repeat it. But either way, she doesn't know how we actually know each other. I'm struggling to figure out how I'm going to explain us giving you a ride home?"

He was quiet, my guess was thinking. "How well do you know her?"

"Better than anyone, why?"

"You trust her?"

"With my life."

"Tell her. It's easier that way. Just maybe ask we don't all chat about it?" This took me back. As private as he is, and he doesn't even know me that well? Why trust me, or someone I trust, with this secret? His reputation is somewhat on the line.

"You sure?"

"Should I not be?"

I sighed. "I wouldn't risk your good name Noah. I promise."

"Thanks Leena." I heard muffled voices in the background. "Hey, I've got to go. See you later?"

I agreed, and we disconnected the call.

The ride to the venue was mostly quiet, aside from the soft music on the radio playing.

"So...anything else I should know before we walk in there? Ronnie Radke isn't going to be hanging with us too, is he?"

I chuckled at this.

"Listen babe, I've got to tell you something."

She lifted her eyebrow in a knowing look. "Knew you were lying."

I shrugged. "Look, I'm going to tell you this, but this is covert level secrecy. No one can know. Or Noah is fucked. So promise me? Not even your husband gets to know?"

Her look turned more serious.

"Of course babe. Anything."

"I'm Noah's sponsor." Her jaw dropped open, almost unnaturally so.

"He's in AA too?" I nodded.

"He just started. And he needed a sponsor. I offered. He needed help getting through this show and the after party. So he's going to pretend to be sick after, meet us backstage, and we're going to smuggle him out and drive him home."

I could see the wheels in her head turning. She believed me now. She knew I never lied about AA.

"Oh my God, babe." She shook her head. "I'm so sorry. I pried too hard. Jesus, I feel like an asshole."

I waved her off. "Don't, my love. He gave me permission to tell you." She nodded at that, sitting back in her seat.

After a beat, she giggled to herself. "You sure are the luckiest sponsor ever." That made me laugh. I wasn't so sure yet.

The show was electric. The man on stage, singing, was a different person entirely. If it weren't for the fact that he made direct eye contact with me several times throughout the night, I would've never believed him to be the same shy, unsure, uncomfortable man he was in group. On stage, he was confident, he was in control, he was the leader, and the crowd, his flock. It was insane to watch, and I would be lying if I hadn't said I felt absolutely mystified at points. I teared up when they played Just Pretend, vehemently singing along. This was not lost on him, and I caught the smirk he got when he saw my glassy-eyed singing. No different than any other fan. That's okay, that's who I was for now.

We were to not be seen or noticed. We were shadows waiting to seamlessly remove him.

Once the set ended, and everyone waited for Motionless in White to come out, moving in and out of their seats toward the bars and bathrooms, Laura and I followed the security guard who had been told to allow us backstage.

I checked my phone a few times, but still had not heard from him. As we made our way to the meet and greet area, we saw the giant line of fans waiting for their band to show up. We slyly waited against a wall behind the line. We blended in.

"Have you heard from him?" I checked my phone again with no results.

"No, but I would bet he has to do meet and greet first. I don't strike him as the type to disappoint fans."

She nodded in agreement, so we waited.

After about twenty minutes, we heard screaming, and looked over to see them come out, waving at everyone waiting in line. I saw his eyes searching. Was he looking for us?

Pulling out my phone, I shot a quick message.

Me: By the trash cans.

He was talking to a girl with his face on her shirt when he slipped his phone from his pocket and his eyes immediately scanned and found mine. The smallest hint of a smile lifted his lips. I saw him turn his back for a moment, and turning back to sign autographs

Noah: Thought I lost you. M&G will be over in 45min. Meet me in the parking lot?

I sent a thumbs up, instructed Laura of our plans, and we began our trek to the car. Once in the car, I sent a quick location pin to him so he could find us. I got a response a few minutes later.

Noah: Just look for the ancient Tahoe. Roger that.

I rolled my eyes, and despite Laura watching her concert videos, she noticed.

"What?" I showed her my phone, and she smiled.

"Well, he's funny, huh?" I nodded.

"An absolute dork." She bit her lip, turning in my seat.

"Leena?" I looked up at her from my phone screen, looking at my own videos.

"Hmm?"

"Do you like him?" I paid little attention to the question.

"Oh sure, he's a nice guy." She put her hand on my shoulder, making me give her my full attention.

"No, Mileena," she pushed my phone down. "do you like him?"

This made me scoff. "Laura, I barely know him!"

"What's to know? He's a singer in a near famous band. He's got the voice of an angel. He's adorable." This made me roll my eyes again.

"I'm his sponsor." She threw her hands up.

"Is it illegal?" I shook my head.

"No, but it's awful and would make me a terrible human. And I work very hard to be a good human."

She narrowed her eyes at me. "I don't believe that, but okay. I respect it." I smiled at her.

"Thank you Laura."

"But I still think you like him."

I was silent in response, not amused by her pushing.

“He has a girlfriend anyway, Laura.”

I watched her eyes nearly bug out of her head. “He does?!”

“Yeah, he told me yesterday.” I could see the disbelief on her face.

“I’ve never heard that. What’s her name?” I sighed, thinking back to our conversation the day before.

“He…didn’t say? Just mentioned he had one, and she didn’t know about AA yet.”

Her lips pursed. “Not buying it.”

This made my eyes widen.

“What?”

“He has a girlfriend but doesn’t even tell you her name? And doesn’t tell her he’s made a life changing decision to get well? I’m not buying.”

I rolled my eyes. “Christ, Laura, you’ve got trust issues.”

She pointed at me. “Facts. But it doesn’t change the fact that I don’t believe it.” She sat back in her seat.

“I’ll just ask him when he gets here, no worries.”

This caused a flood of panic through me. “Please don’t! He’s not the type to talk about personal stuff. He’s actually pretty withdrawn.”

Her blank expression was telling. “Noah? Noah Sebastian? The guy who just went absolutely insane on that stage? Is withdrawn? Mhm, sure.”

I sat back in my chair and groaned.

“Please? That’s his personal business.”

She nodded. “Fine, but you should ask him.”

I didn’t respond, attention now on the text I had from him saying he was headed our way. I started the car, ready for a quick getaway.

After about ten minutes, I saw his tall frame in the doorway of the elevator, jogging over to the car. I snuck a glance at Laura, who looked as though she may absolutely burst.

“Here comes the rockstar.” She let out in a sing-song voice.

The back left door opened, and he slid inside the seat quickly, buckling his seatbelt and running his fingers through his long, and now greasy, hair.

“Hey!” My voice was about three pitches higher for truly no reason at all. This was not lost on my best friend, whose eyes I saw flash over to be before turning around and looking at Noah, eyes absolutely bulging.

“Jesus, it’s like trying to escape a wild pack of hyenas!” He sat back and sighed heavily as my truck backed out of the space and began moving down the aisle. “I mean the guys, not the fans.”

I looked up in my rearview. “Did you do like we talked about?”

“Yes. Made sure to gag as loudly as possible and everything.” I could see the smile crinkling the corners of his eyes.

He turned his attention to Laura, holding out his hand. “I’m so rude, I’m sorry.” She took his hand, looking absolutely stunned. “I’m Noah.”

All I heard from her was a weak ‘Laura’ in response.

Once we hit the darkened streets, putting the venue behind us, the tension in the truck relaxed.

I looked up in my mirror again, catching Noah’s attention.

“Do you mind if I drop Laura home first? She’s got to get up early for work tomorrow and her house isn’t very far.”

He smiled. “Of course. I’m all the way in Calabasas, so no worries at all.”

I just nodded. The ride was smooth for a moment, until I heard the familiar ring of an iPhone. It was Noah’s.

“Hello?” I couldn’t hear the voice from the other end. “Hey babe.”

Laura’s face whipped over to me, I’m sure seeing my expression darken ever so slightly.

“Yeah, I’ll be okay. I’m not sure what happened, but I started feeling off before the set and by the end, I was throwing up.” He waited for the response. “No, uh…” he hesitated. “I actually haven’t drank at all today.”

Something in my chest swelled. I was such a proud sponsor. He was making an effort, and all I could do was appreciate it.

He nervously laughed. “Yeah, right? Shocking, I know.”

I could hear his tone. It broke my heart for him. I knew that conversation, I had many myself. When people don’t believe you haven’t been drinking, or are shocked to hear it. They’ll even go so far as to get angry at you for quitting. It’s a long, torturous road he’s set down, but hopefully with the right support, he will stay on track.

“Well I just caught an Uber, and I’m going to go home and pass out. Try to get over it.”

I made a conscious effort not to look at him, doing my best to respect his privacy. I could see Laura doing the same, scrolling through her phone.

“Yeah, uh, maybe we should wait until Monday? Make sure I’m not contagious, and all that?” His voice almost sounded brightened, but I was likely imagining things.

“Yeah, yeah, I know. But do you want to catch this crap?” He made a sound of approval. “Thought so. I’m almost home so I’ll talk to you later babe.” He wasn’t, but okay. “Mhm, I love you too.” Slight poke to the abdomen. Nothing to worry about. “Bye.”

My hands relaxed slightly on the wheel. No one spoke for a little while. I could see his eyes just watching the streetlights fly past the window. He almost looked sad, but I couldn’t piece together why exactly. I could guess, however, that this is harder than he initially anticipated. It always is.

Laura shared my concern, so she spoke up.

“The show tonight was awesome, Noah! Better than the one back in November!”

This sure perked him, making him sit up in his seat. “Yeah? Thank you for saying that.”

“Oh fuck yeah, dude! Watching you guys play is spiritual, honestly.” This made him crack a wide grin.

I felt a poke on my shoulder, causing me to look up.

“What’d you think Leena? How was your first Bad Omens show?” I could see him searching for my answer, but he’s not the only one who could be a smartass.

I waved my hand in a topsy-turvy fashion. “It was alright.”

“Oh shut the fuck up, you cried during Just Pretend.” Laura was triumphantly smiling.

She’s so dead.

My cheeks were getting warmer, and I instinctively cracked my window. When did it get so hot in here?

Noah let out a giggle, an actual fucking giggle. “I thought I saw that.”

“Dude, how can you see anything up there? Fire? Smoke? Lights?”

He shook his head dismissively and flopped back in his seat. “Please. I can see anything if I’m looking for it.”

His words rang out followed by silence. Laura’s face was deadpanned.

What the fuck does that mean? In a literal sense, I get what he meant but wow, what an innuendo to make. Unintentionally, I’m sure.

The context wasn’t lost on Noah, who only cleared his throat, not speaking another word.

Luckily, we were already cruising down Laura’s street, stopping in front of her driveway.

“Welp, this is my stop.” She turned to look in the backseat. “Thank you so much for the concert. It really was awesome.”

This earned her a grateful head nod from him. “Anytime.”

She wouldn’t be forgetting that.

“I love you babes, call me tomorrow?” She wrapped an arm around me while I agreed to her request. She hopped out of the car and within seconds, she was gone.

“You want to stay back there, or hop up front?”

Without answering, a long leg reached over my console, plopping Noah in the passenger’s seat. I stared at him incredulously while he beamed at me.

I shook my head and put the truck back in drive, waiting for him to direct me to his house.

#noah sebastian fic #noah sebastian #bad omens fanfiction #bad omens #fanfic

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pwnyta · 2 months ago

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HUH

So no one was gonna tell me about The Old Guard?

I was supposed to just find it on a random ass Halloween 4 years after it aired... aight.

I mean I thought we were cool but I see how it is.

Anyways I watched it and I loved it IF YOU EVEN CARE.

Opinions-

Andy- Phenomenal. Never seen Charlize Theron look so damn hot. Even with her spooky eyes. Crazy butch bisexual(?) wielding a labrys sometimes. Love. Her church fight was sick as hell... im in denial about the stab tho... you can pry her from my cold dead fingies Netflix.

Booker-Like... OK. Like I get he was sad but its so hard to feel bad for him sometimes and like.. I dont hate him at all but just... I do wanna strangle him a little. JUST A LITTLE. I dont want him to be gone and never see Andy again... I hate that. I hate this movie.

Nicky- Great side profile, terrific nose... what in the Ben Linus is going on with the eyes tho? Those pale buggy eyes... This is your man, Joe? This Italian priest Templar knight with ghost eyes? Aight. Ribbing aside... I love him. Even if hes got spooky eyes.

Joe- Mortal enemies to immortal lovers is diabolical work. If you give me friends to lovers... it better be Crusade era enemies to begrudging companions to understanding friends to soul mates or fucking dont talk to me about it. NGL Joes kinda my favorite. Hes a silly little guy. Maybe my love for Sayid has made me soft for hyper-competent, deadly, romantic, shiny eyed Muslim men IDK.

Nile- LOVE. ..Ya know when Andy was like 'shes just a baby' I was like I sure hope this movie dont make me ship them cuz the fandom is probably gonna be annoying about that line but their plane fight was so hot... SUE ME. ANYWAYS... I love her. Apparently theres a second movie coming out & I cant wait to see her get to be a silly lil guy with the fam cuz she is silly lil guy. I love her relationship with Andy & I hope Andy gets better so they can be together forever & there can be some messy lesbian love triangle nonsense when Quynh.

Quynh- Dont got like... the deepest opinion of her just yet but her and Andy were like the Sapphic Nicky & Joe but in reverse.. like Nicky & Joe killed attacked each other then became lovers and it seems like Andy & Quynh were close and might become enemies? Of course IM GONNA IGNORE THE BAD STUFF AND PRETEND THEY JUST FIND EACH OTHER & ARE IN LOVE FOREVER. So...

Copley- Similar to Book I get his mindset but also I wanna strangle him a little. He is beautiful tho... so... Im interested in how hes gonna fit in with the gang... Im hoping for some drama at the start maybe them being like '...ya but hes not Booker...' and then Copley like... having some big hero moment saving the team or at least one of them and they get real close and then more drama because their new family is also just a normal guy & theyre gonna hurt to lose him some day. ANYWAYS.

MISC stuff I like-

The difference in how Nicky and Joe hug Andy.

Everything about this scene tbh. I just wanna see these types of scenes from now on. Silly lil guy moments.

Also Andys baklava addiction. Baklava is one of those things Ive always wanted to try... like boba and churros... ONE OF THESE DAYS.

This sick ass take down. Actually all the fight scenes were pretty sick. I like seeing them fight baddies all together... ODA TAKES NOTES. Also... full offense to guns but seeing Andy Nicky and Joe wield their old-school weapons is so much cooler... who brings a knife (labrys, long sword, scimitar) to a gun fight? THE COOLEST PEOPLE. THATS WHO.

Joe spitting out a bullet that he got shot in the face with.

'Shes just a baby!' (me with the whole team) Also TBF to Andy... Nile has such a cute baby face.

The development of Andy and Niles relationship. THO TBH I was bothered about Nile getting shot in the head because the exit wound woulda fucked her braids up.... I had a hard time focusing cuz I couldnt let that fact go lmao... It was driving me nuts...

The girls are fighting! (gone sexy)

Eepy not-boyfriends

Ancient head bonks of desperate affection. I hope all three of them head bonk Nile in the next movie. If this doesnt happen... im killing everyone in this room (its just me) and them myself.

This silly bitch in this moment.

Joes 'Hes not my boyfriend' speech. Incurable romantic indeed.

Honestly the soldiers tryin to insult Joe by mockingly asking if Nicky was his boyfriend and getting way more than they bargained for was fucking funny.

I just wish we coulda seen the faces of the guy driving the van as he heard the massacre in the back LMAO. Just keep drivin bud... aint nothin you can do about your boys in the back.

Immortal not-boyfriends gettin silly!

This is a nice plane! Theres a TV Joe!

lmao. The sillies.

Andy and Nile continuing to make me ship them.

Reunited and it feels so.... something but they were fighting together and it was real cool.

THEMB.

'You shot Nicky... you shouldnt have done that....'

Joe- Im a silly lil guy but (suplexes a man and breaks his neck)

Whyd he look so devastated after?

She wont jump out of a plane... but....

You betray Miette? You betray her like the bastard? Oh! OH! BANISHMENT FOR 100 YEARS!

Joe lookin at Booker the whole time... :c

#Movie tag.#Bouta make this movie my entire personality for a hot minute NGL... prepare yourself.

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abigaillazaar · 8 days ago

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CREATOR TAG GAME

yayyyy happy new year my loves!!

thank you for tagging me char @cressidascowper pick your 5 favorite gif sets of 2024 that got less than 1k notes and then pick 10 gifsets of someone else's that got less than 1k notes.

mine:

this johanna and finnick set for thg week! i rarely ever try greens so this was a great exercise. plus shameless letterboxd review insert i had the time of my life making it (even though i think it's on the simpler side)

rhaenicent + august! my beloveds <3 i actually was so relieved finishing this—mainly bc i'd been working on it since last year but couldn't be satisfied with the coloring + typography (real ones remember it was in my new year's clean up last year). i'm so glad i waited for s2 to air though because it really made the lyrics more cohesive . freaks. (also i remembered seeing the lyric "change" on swiftietok and hated it so. bad . like so bad. but was like wait but so fitting for rhaenicent so. i caved! #noregrets)

rhaenicent + sad beautiful tragic. this was the first edit i made for that week in preparation and that last gif was what led to my idea for day one (paternity test). rhaenyra's the father bitch! also i'm proud of myself for making the first gif bc that's emily in lost girls ! and now she riding syrax instead of flying to neverland. love me brain <3

rhaenicent + fics ! fic writers the backbone of our society i love them sooooooo much i'll probably end up doing another one! i know some of the authors saw the set but i hope all of them know how hard i'm clutching their fics to my chest

this is truly the rhaenicent show (i have an addiction). anyway last one is this super simple rhaenicent edit! it's slightly au but placing alicent watching rhaenyra play with her children i'm sick to my stomach and i literally made it. thank you aish (@alicenthighstower) for dealing with me in those trying times

others:

@maxanor's gorgeous gorgeous sejanus -> katniss edit. i remember falling to my knees when i saw that omg. the black and white to bright saturated orange is insane, my teeth ache just looking at it. beautiful work hannah!

one of the most deplorable (endearing) edits i've seen this year is this jackieshauna set by miss becca it girl @nataliescatorccio herself. first of all anyone who knows me knows red + black + white is my favorite color combo so this was an immediate hit. this edit......took my breath away (also bc i was dry heaving from the #pain!)

this padme and sabe edit by char @cressidascowper........lorddddd don't even get me started i wanted to throw up! i love muted colors so much (i rarely ever attempt bc idk. it never looks right when i try) but char......your coloring on this i'm gonna scream! and the quote! i'm screaming. absolutely insane chef's kiss

this anakin skywalker set that erika @padme-amidala (come home the kids (me) miss you <33) made....this has been one of my favorite poems since like...high school. like at some point i had it as my lockscreen. i love this mf poem. and so when i saw anakin skywalker ??? to this poem ????? the scream i scrumpt. need her to come back and bless my eyes again...

itty bitty baby aish made this swanqueen edit, and it almost influenced me to rewatch ouat. the coloring is exquisite and the quote ....and the shots you chose.......lordddddd it sent me into a downward spiral i opened up swanqueen's page on ao3 just to feel something again

anyway thanks for tuning in! tagging everyone mentioned (unless they already did this, then. whatever) love you all and can't wait to see what you guys have in store for 2025 (break my heart, i'll still love you <3)

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

#mich.txt #tag game

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newleaf92 · 10 months ago

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Favorite Lines from Hazbin Hotel songs Part Two:

Poison—this song broke my heart as Angel Dust is one of my favorites, and seeing what he had to deal with from Val was devastating.

“I shoulda known it when I looked into your red hot eyes.”

“Addicted to this feelin’ I can’t help but swallow up your poison.”

“I got so good at tellin’ you what you wanna hear.”

“Poison, I'm drownin' in poison. I'm fillin' up my glass but it's always hollow full of poison, I'm sick of the poison. Wish I had somethin' to live for tomorrow.”

Loser, Baby

“You’ve lost your way. You think your life is wrecked. Well, let me just say you’re correct.”

“You’re a fucked up little whiny bitch. You’re a loser just like me.”

“You’re a power bottom at rock bottom, but you got company.”

“I sold my soul to a psychopathic freak.”

“And you think that makes you unique.”

“Baby that’s fine by me.”

“I’m a loser, honey. A schmoozer and a dummy. But at least I know I’m not alone.”

“It’s time to lose your self loathing. Excuse yourself, let hope in,baby. Play your card, be who you are.”

Hell’s Greatest Dad

“Looks like you could some help from the big boss (😈)of Hell himself.”

“With a punch from a pentagram.”

“I’ll rig the game for you because I’m the ref(😈)

“Champagne fountains, caviar mountains. That’s just a start.”

“I’m your guy, your day to day, your chum, your steadfast hotelier.”

“I’m truly honored that we built such a bond.”

“It’s a little funny. You could almost call me dad (👹😈)

(😡👿🎻)

“There’s no substitute for pure angelic power! Who just so happens to also be your blood.”

“Can you butt out of my song? (Your song?! I started this!”)

More Than Anything

“Now you’re the only thing worth fighting for.”

“I’ll shelter and adore you more than anything.”

“So in the end, it’s the view I had of you that showed me dreams can be worth fighting for.”

“I’ve been dying to find out who you are.”

“All that I’m hop in’, now that my eyes are open, is that we can start again. Not be pulled apart again.”

“Cause in the end, you are part of who I am. I’ll support your dreams no matter what’s in store.”

“I’m grateful your my daughter/father.”

Welcome to Heaven

“Welcome to Heaven, oh-oh!” (🎤🫦)

“Where the virtuous reside 24/7, oh-oh!” (🎤🫦)

“Welcome to Heaven, oh-oh!” (🎤🫦)

“Check out our sick decor, the spirit’s leaven, oh!” (🎤😏🫦)

“And everyone is hot!” (🎤🫦🤤🫠)

You Didn’t Know

“Checked all the boxes that you said would prove a person deserves a second chance. Now we turn our backs, no second glance.”

“It’s not fair, Sera.”

“That just because someone is dead, it doesn't mean they can't resolve to change their ways. Turn the page, escape infernal blaze.”

“What are we even talking about? Some crack whore who fucked up already?”

“There’s no question to be posed. He’s unholy, case closed.”

“A man only lives once. I’ll see you in one month. Gotta say I wait can’t to come down and exterminate you.”

“Well, I don’t need your condescension. I’m not a child to protect!”

“Was I too naive to expect you to heed the morals you’re purveying?”

“That’s what the fuck I’ve been saying.”

“If Hell is forever, then Heaven must be a lie.”

“When you make the wretched suffer just to kill them again.”

Out for Love

“I see you’re driven by your detestation.”

“You need a different type of motivation.”

“Think of who you care about. Protect them and be out for love.”

“Fuel yourself with the fear of losin’ that somebody who’s your reason to live. Harness your heart and you can’t help choosin’ to fight with all you can give.”

Ready for This

“And though I kinda feel unsteady, now I gotta be ready for this.”

“Not to mention the camaraderie. Yes sure, you’ll form life-changing friendships with folks along the way.”

“Oh, don’t be put off by their snarlin’, that’s enthusiasm, darlin’!”

“Don’t worry, honey, that’s their thing. Keep singing.”

“When Adam brings the battle here, I must appear like I’m ready for this.”

“Surprised? Why, I knew she could do it all along.”

“Stick with her and you’ll be on the winning side.”

More than Anything-Reprise

“And in the end, if it’s only me you saved, there’s something I’ve been dying to say.”

“Need you to know I love you more than anything.”

Finale

“I know I could have done better, better than letting you down.”

“You can do this, now I know it! For your story has just begun.”

“The stage is wrecked, the crowd is gone, but, by god, Charlie! The show it must go on.”

“With more sinners than you can dream.”

“It starts with you. You know it’s true. Fulfill your destiny!”

“With a bit of bravado, maybe tomorrow, we’ll be atop the heap.”

“Nature abhors a power vacuum. It leaves room for you and me. The power of hell belongs to the Vees.”

“I’m hungry for freedom, like never before!”

“Once I figure out how to unclip my wings, guess who will be pulling all the strings?”

“And then tomorrow, it will be a fuckin’ happy day in Hell!”

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numbuh-72 · 25 days ago

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"Chocolates..." and "Plushies..." - "I Left Treasures..." Scenario Response

(This response goes to @kandykatz for her kiddos Aiden and Carol~)

(WARNING: CONTAINS S.H/BLOOD)

After Carol and Aiden received their presents....both separated ways to go home....

Once Carol made it home, she could only sit on her bed...to stare at the present and letter that Salvador handed to Carol. After moments of blank stare and silence...Carol reaches for the letter first....and begins to read it;

"Carol, my little ferret,

I had to reserve this special gift to you because...It would pain me to see you suffer the way you are right now...A world if you ever stop eating chocolate...."

Before Carol could even continue, she grabs the present and opens it...to reveal a box of chocolates...

Tears soon start to form on Carol's face...speechless about the present. She then continues to read the letter.

"This gift I pass to you is my favorite box of chocolates I would get if craving for such. My mom traveled to Japan to get these specially made chocolates for me everytime. Consider this my treat to you and as a message to please keep eating. Consider these chocolates as energy to keep pushing for my sake. Savor and enjoy every bite ferret <3" - Gianna

After reading the letter....Carol couldn't help but silently cry to this gift Gianna passed down to her. Carol was a chocolate addict and after Gianna's passing...she completely stopped eating chocolate. It was mainly because at the time Gianna was alive, she would try and control Carol from her addictive ways and try to eat moderately....worried that Carol would get sick from overeating.

Hesitant at first...Carol carefully picks up a piece of chocolate, and eats it. After a moment of chewing it...her eyes sparkle as this was some really good chocolate. Tears formed again from Carol's eyes and...a very tiny smile?

As much as she would have another piece of chocolate, she puts it away somewhere safe for when she wants another piece...After all, Gianna always wanted her to eat modestly. Hehe...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Meanwhile with Aiden....

Once he got home, he went straight to his room and closes the door...Sliding down against it to sit down on the floor. He grabs his satchel and pulls out a tiny blanket ball...soon revealing the two plushies and letter that Salvador handed to Aiden. He could only stare at the plushies with a saddened expression....He couldn't believe that Gianna was actually gone. He couldn't....protect her from Alice's fate. Tears formed in his face while he grabbed the letter and opens it to read the letter...

"Aiden, my beloved brother,

I'm...so sorry that you had to witness what Alice has done to me. I thought I was able to fight back and escape in time...only to die in front of you and our friends. Though do know that...it's not your fault...it's no one's fault. None of us could've seen this coming...none of us would've predicted what to do in a situation like such.

For my gift to you...I pass down not only my brother Joseph....but another plushie....of myself that I've made. You may of noticed that our hands are stitched together.

May this be a symbol to you that I won't be alone in heaven....I can finally be with my baby brother Joseph.

Although...I do have one request...please protect these plushies...don't let anything happen to either. I guess you can consider it...a chance to somewhat protect me still...along with Joseph. Take extra good care of us...We will be by your side no matter what.

And...please don't fret...everytime you look at me...I will be sad...if you are sad....I want my brother to please keep pushing...Know that once Alice is defeated...I can rest easily...knowing that all of you are safe and ok. I'll always be with you til the very end...I love you Aiden." - Gianna

Aiden could only feel tears escape his face while he was reading the letter. Gently squeezing the plushies and hugging them close...Sobbing quietly. He slowly gets up, gently putting the two plushies on his bed, and soon covering his face to scream, letting out the negative emotions...his rage. Aiden soon punches a wall to try and calm himself down. It...somewhat work...but it did leave a mark on his fist....following some blood. He looks at the plushies on the bed and realizes that what he did was wrong...and Gianna was sad. More tears fall from his face while he went to treat his hand with some bandages.

After the day he had....Aiden could use the rest...He got in bed, and held the plushies close to his chest, closing his eyes while whispering one more thing before falling asleep...

"...I'm sorry, sis...please forgive me..."

#knd #codename kids next door #kids next door #codename knd #knd oc #codenamekidsnextdoor #codenameknd #oc #art #oc art #blue moon au #not my ocs #numbuh 72 #numbuh 82 #gianna chavez #joseph chavez

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giggleesblog · 3 months ago

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story time with spencer

as many of you know, i’ve had the pleasure of spending the last few days with the lovely @daisylovestickles. she made a detailed post with a timeline over on her blog that you can read here. mine will be a general recap with some sappy things here and there. daisy is much more organized than i will ever be lol.

i think my favorite thing about these last four and a half days is how much i’ve learned, both about myself and daisy. we not only spent a lot more time together this time around, but we also shared a living space since we stayed at an airbnb rather than a hotel. i remember daisy joking on call that she hopes i wouldn’t get sick of living with her. i gave her a deadpan look and said that would never happen. and i was right, because it felt so incredibly domestic and just so sweet to share a space with her all tucked away in our own little bubble for a bit.

as you saw in daisy’s post, yes our airbnb had a leak which did cut into some of our time together, but even with that mishap it was still easily one of the best weekends of my life. getting to know her and learn little things while sharing some familiar places with her is something that will keep me happy for months.

and boy oh boy was the tickling much more intense this time around. daisy brings out this side of me that is so hard to keep my hands to myself (both with tickling and just any physical affection). i told her the first night she flew in i was struggling very hard not to tickle her while we were cuddled in bed. spoiler alert: i did not keep my hands to myself. whoops. it’s not my fault her giggles and laugh are so addictive and she looks so pretty when she’s tickled, okay! and it’s not like she minds at all 🤭 but yeah bringing her to such a state later on in the trip where she’s telling me she wants to safe word but also doesn’t because it feels so good???? y’all. i nearly died. i still have butterflies thinking about it. GOD this girl has no idea what she does to me 😵‍💫🫠

that being said… i feel like since we had more time together i was definitely more ticklish this time around too. we learned that my thighs are a lot worse than we initially thought. also my feet??? were so fucking sensitive?? especially the night we got into the bondage and just feeling her nails glide around the tops of my feet nearly had me safewording 😵‍💫. also. grooming gloves and oil should be fucking illegal. jesus christ. daisy definitely got me back for all the thigh tickles i gave her because she absolutely wrecked my inner thighs with light tickles and squeezes and fhwkdhlshdkd fuck 🙈 i was thrashing and jolting all over the place and i maaaaybe discovered i’m more of a masochist than i thought 🫠

obviously the tickling was very fun and joyous for us both. but sometimes i think people in this community focus too much on that. they don’t want to bother forming real life connections with people outside of the kink. and that’s really sad. because i’ve met people here that i can’t imagine my life without. so i think some people really need to sit back and evaluate how they treat others in this community.

anyways this is getting long as fuck so i’m gonna try to wrap this up lmao. daisy, thank you for the incredible last few days. i am so fucking lucky to have you in my life and i can’t wait to see you again. i love you to the moon and back, princess 🧡

#story time with spencer #tickle session #session with daisy #my friend daisy #tickle community #tickling community

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thebabblingbrookenook · 2 years ago

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The Viscount Who Loved Me Too Much - Part 2

Pairings: Anthony Bridgerton x Fem!reader

Summary: Modern AU - A continuation of a previous story, The Viscount Who Loved Me Too Much Part 1, where Reader is recovering from a heart transplant. She’s determined to make sure she truly lives every second for the rest of her life. Not a moment wasted. When she meets Anthony Bridgerton, she starts to realize, and ask for, all the things she really wants for herself.

Warnings: This chapter is pretty tame compared to Part 1. There are brief mentions of sexual content but not actual smut. Sorry guys, maybe in Part 3 haha

Word Count: 6K

Author’s Note - I know I had originally said that this would be a 4 Part series, but I may have underestimated how much content I had to work with. For now, I won’t put a number on it. Once again, @colettebronte saves the day with her beta reading. You would not want to see the mess of words I laid down before her keen eye gave it a once over. And to @eleanor-bradstreet, my sweet, sweet Eleanor... Thank you so much for walking in angst with me on this one. Your advice and companionship have been invaluable.

_____________________________________________________

Anthony Bridgerton was a man of his word, having made good on his promise to ruin you that morning. Twice. He had left your legs weak and your backside sore, but you were thoroughly satisfied. It was the kind of satisfaction that you were afraid to get used to. Getting attached to him would probably be a colossal mistake, but he wasn’t making it easy.

Sitting across from him in your favorite café, over breakfast you pondered what your life might look like with him in it on a more permanent basis. It was a dangerous game to play but you couldn’t seem to help yourself. Something about him was addictive and you could already anticipate the pain his absence would create.

You were constructing a getaway plan in your head when his voice cut through your concentration. “Figured out how you’re going to ditch me yet?”

“What? Why would you say that?” Panic pitched your voice higher. “I wasn’t planning…”

“Yes you were,” he teased with a knowing grin. “I recognize the look. I practically invented it. Let me save you the stress. If after today you don’t wish to continue spending time with me, I’ll bugger off.”

“Continue?” you ask, trying unsuccessfully to keep the hope from your voice. “You want to see me again?”

“Did you enjoy yourself last night?” He tested the waters.

“Yes,” you nodded shyly, averting your eyes. “And this morning.”

“So did I,” he assured. “If you’ll have me, I’d like to keep enjoying myself.”

“I think I’d like that,” you conceded. If he was going to stick around, you wanted to address the hideous scar in the room. “You can ask me, you know. It’s okay, I know you want to.”

He had the courtesy to look a bit ashamed when he asked. “What happened?”

“I got the flu,” you shrugged.

“I beg your pardon? I’m not sure I understand.”

“It seems crazy, I know. But that’s what happened. It was just the flu. I was really sick with a stomach bug for a few days and then I was dying. The doctor said it was a one in a million scenario. Viral Myocarditis. The virus weakened my heart muscle and there was too much damage. I was fine one day and on life support the next.”

You watched him with interest as his mind tried to add everything together. “You needed a transplant?”

“Yes,” you confirmed. “It was all so sudden. There wasn’t a lot of time to process everything. My whole life changed.”

“Wow,” he stated in disbelief. “You’re okay now though, right?”

“My doctor seems to think I’m healing nicely. I had to make a lot of adjustments. I’m going to be on medication for the rest of my life, but that seems a small price to pay.”

“That’s only the physical aspect. How are you handling things otherwise? I can’t imagine that has been easy for you. From all my accounts, you're very… lively.” He grinned flirtatiously. At this rate, you were going to need to keep an emergency fire extinguisher in your purse for your nether regions.

“Honestly, I’ve been a mess. It took a long time to find myself again. Even now, I’m not quite the same.” You searched your mind to find the right words. Why the desire was so strong, you weren’t sure, but you desperately needed to be understood by him.

Without missing a beat, he met you where you were. “Of course you’re not. Nor should you be. I’m not sure I’d like to know the person who could go unaffected by those circumstances. They would either be a liar or a fool. Probably both.”

His voice trailed off in contemplation so you followed him into the void. “I think maybe you’ve already known that person.”

“Mmm,” he hummed in agreement. “I live with him every day.”

Anger pricked at your consciousness, sending your pulse on a rampage. It was ludicrous, you barely knew this man, but the instinct to defend him, even from himself, felt like it was your newfound purpose. It was presumptuous to think you knew better, but those words didn’t ring true.

“We’ve all been fools at some point. And I lie to myself all the time.” You hoped you weren’t doing that right then; Looking at him and seeing only what you wanted to see. But you decided self doubt was useless and trusted your instincts instead. “We just have to learn how to get out of our own way.”

“Is that what you’re doing now? Getting out of your own way?” Genuine interest played behind his eyes.

“I’m trying. I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing, but I’m trying. It feels like I owe it to myself. And to the…” you paused, subconsciously running your thumb over your scar. “Well, to all the people who got me here. Anything less would be unforgivably selfish of me.”

His fingers reached out to play with yours absently on the table. “So what’s your secret? There has to be a trick to it. I’m far too obstinate to simply tell myself to get the fuck out of my own way.”

The familiarity in his touch warmed your chest. It felt natural to be there with him. “I think it’s all about perspective. There is this huge thing lingering over me now, constantly reminding me to reevaluate when I feel stuck. My experience was terrifying, and I would never wish it on someone else, but perspective is definitely something it has gifted me. Seeing situations, and even other people through a new lens changes the entire picture.”

His huff of laughter sat in contrast with the smile that didn’t quite touch his eyes. “Now you’re beginning to sound like my brother.”

“Your brother sounds like a wise man,” you teased.

“A self proclaimed one at that. He would be unbearable if he heard you confirm it.” His words were sharp but his tone radiated affection.

“What’s his name?” you asked, curiosity getting the better of you.

You could see his mind wrestling over your request. Anxiety froze you to your seat while you waited for him to decide if you were worthy of this information. Family was private for some people, and you worried you may have accidentally crossed a boundary.

An apology was forming on your lips when he offered a response. “Benedict.” He broke your eye contact to take a sip of his cooling tea. “I’m the oldest, then Benedict.”

“It must be nice to have a sibling. I always wanted one growing up, but I think I scared my parents off children on round one,” you offered up a piece of your life in reciprocity.

“Be careful what you wish for. I have seven, and they have been a proper pain in my ass, each in their own specially crafted and unique ways.” His voice was laced with a paternal pride that colored his features in warmth.

“Seven?! You parents must be exhausted.”

“It’s just my mother now,” he confided. “The woman is a saint.”

“Oh,” you swallowed the lump in your throat. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay. It was a long time ago,” he remembered with a sad silence settling over him. “But enough about me! Let’s get back to you. I’m far less interesting.”

Somehow you doubted that, but you yielded to his subtle request to move away from a difficult subject. “What would you like to know?”

“Obviously, you’re from The States, which I offer my utmost sympathies for,” he smiled cheekily. “... but whereabouts are you from?”

“I grew up in a little town outside of Columbus, Ohio that no one has ever heard of, but we moved to New York when I was fourteen.” Yep, definitely not more interesting than him. You were boring yourself to tears.

“And how did you end up on the right side of the pond?”

“I work for a luxury hotel. We opened a new location in London and they needed someone to get it off the ground. I’m here until they say otherwise.”

Leaning forward, he whispered conspiratorially, “Is it bad of me to hope they need you indefinitely?”

You felt a blush erupt across your cheeks at his confession. Your voice lowered in meekness as you readied an admission of your own. “I don’t know… Is it bad of me to really like that you just said that?”

“Maybe,” he leaned in even further like he was about to divulge a secret. “We’ll just have to be bad together then.”

The heat left your face entirely and raced to a place much, much lower. The way your body responded to him took you off guard. You were no stranger to lust, but this was different. He had roused something in you that you didn’t know existed and you were completely at its mercy.

Before the logical half of your brain had a chance to talk you out of it, your mouth opened and blurted out something you had yet to share with anyone. Not Ellie. Not your mom. Only him. “What would you say if I told you that an offer to stay on a more permanent basis is actually a reality for me? I haven’t given my answer yet, but my bosses want to make me head of our European division. Our London location has been thriving and we want to expand even further. They already have plans for Germany, Italy, and France.”

He whistled his admiration. “Wow… that’s a big deal. If you don’t mind me saying so, I think you’d be crazy not to take that opportunity. What’s holding you back?”

Taking a moment to truly consider, you searched your mind for the right answer. “My parents… Being sick and this far away from them has been hard on all of us. It would be a lot easier on them, especially my mom, if I was home. And I miss them. I miss New York. There are days when I would murder someone to get my hands on a New York bagel.”

“Hmm,” he mulled over your words. “I see…”

“What?” You hoped your irritation wasn’t obvious. “You don’t think those reasons are valid?”

“No, they are perfectly valid. They just aren’t the reason. Those are the excuses being used to justify not taking the risk.” His expression held no malice and his voice was free of condescension. He was simply offering the truth. For some reason, that irritated you even more.

“Excuses. Reasons. Aren’t they the same thing?”

“Not in my opinion,” he shrugged. “Excuses will always be there. Reasons can be conquered. So what is it? What are you afraid to go up against?”

No one had ever cut so directly through your bullshit in all of your life. The exposure was terrifying but also strangely exhilarating. Somehow telling him the truth came easier than with most. It didn’t feel like you were diving headfirst into judgment.

“Myself,” you admitted. “I’m afraid to face myself. This would be a massive undertaking of responsibilities. If I fail, it impacts a lot more than just me. I don’t know if I’m the person that commands the room, or makes decisions on such massive scales. I’ve always been the tool that someone else wields to realize their vision. An extremely effective tool, but still… I guess I just don’t want to find out in the end that I can’t make things happen of my own accord. I don’t want to know that I’m visionless or that I need someone to metaphorically hold my hand all the time.” You stopped to reign yourself in before you sent him running from the cafe in the opposite direction. “Sorry I just unloaded on you.”

His laugh was bright and genuine. “I seem to recall you letting me unload on you at some point in the last twenty four hours. I’m merely returning the favor. Besides, I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t want to know.” He reached down and picked up your long-abandoned pastry and took a bite before setting it back on your plate. “Do you even want the position? If it isn’t something that you want, don’t say yes. It would suck the marrow straight from your bones. If you do want it…Well, someone very wise once told me that sometimes we just have to learn to get out of our own way.”

Using your own words against you was a nice touch. “I do want it. That’s probably why it scares me so much. Sometimes the most terrifying part about gaining your heart’s desire is that now you can lose it.” Your eyes flickered to his and you realized he was climbing to the top of that list at an alarming speed.

The intensity in his gaze knotted your stomach. “That’s true, but the alternative is much worse. To lose something without ever even tasting it… Show me a life of settling for safety and I’ll show you a life of dissatisfaction. You deserve to be thoroughly satisfied.” A sharp intake of breath rushed through your lungs at the feel of his foot lightly brushing the length of your calf under the table. “In every regard.”

Clearing your throat, you directed the conversation back to him. Another second under his heated stare and you would have found yourself dragging him into a stall in the ladies room. “How do you find satisfaction in your life?”

His smile was wicked with innuendo but his words were sincere. “I enjoy my work. I took over as CEO of the company when my father passed away. Having the chance to build on his legacy is fulfilling for me. And of course my family - being the head of such a large household is where I find the most purpose. It’s time consuming and tiresome work, but it’s very rewarding. My siblings…” he trailed off briefly, leaving you wondering where he’d gone. Remembering himself, he continued. “Watching them all grow and discover themselves, and being able to guide them through it all… I’m not sure I’ll ever do anything more important.”

Your heart swelled with admiration. “They must adore you.”

His laugh was laced with derision. “Hardly. Most days I’m not even certain they like me. It’s hard for them to see me as just a brother, or a friend, when I’ve been parenting them for most of their lives. I’ve been told I can be… overprotective.”

“Ahhh,” you smirked. “So in other words, you’re controlling.”

He shrugged, not at all bothered by the title. “Family comes before all else. You seem to understand that. That’s part of why you haven’t jumped at the chance for this job; You’re thinking of them.”

“It’s mostly my mom. Don’t get me wrong, I know my dad loves me and would be thrilled to have me closer, but he doesn’t need me like my mom does. I think he’s proud of me for venturing so far away and thriving on my own. But my mom… this has been really hard on her. She’s been in full helicopter mode for a year now.” You paused, remembering all that she had sacrificed for you throughout your life. “Staying here, so far away, seems selfish. Especially because it would be so easy for me to relieve her extra stress. I could find a job in New York - it would be fine.”

“A job, yes. But THE job… The one you deserve. The one you’ve earned.” He shook his head, somewhat dumbfounded by the situation. “Sometimes our own happiness requires a bit of selfishness. Besides, isn’t it equally as selfish to make a unilateral decision that impacts her life without giving her the chance to tell you her opinion? I can’t imagine your mother being okay with watching you accept mediocrity on her behalf.”

As if you had said her name one too many times in an accidental summoning, your mother’s familiar voice reached your ears. “There you are! I’ve been looking all over for you. You weren’t answering your phone, and Ellie said she hadn’t heard from since last night. Where have you been?!”

Mortification opened its jaws and swallowed you whole. She was too preoccupied with her fear induced rage to notice the man sitting across from you. It took everything in you to keep your eyes from venturing to his face. The last thing you needed was to start crying from embarrassment. Like a child accepting a very public reprimand.

“Mom…what are you doing here,” you asked absently, still finding your way out of a stunned stupor. Confusion and disbelief creased your brow as you took in the number of unanswered calls and texts on your phone. Ellie had even reached out in warning of your mother’s war path. “My phone must have been on silent. Sorry about that. Is everything okay?”

“You tell me! When I left you last night you weren’t feeling well, and then I didn’t hear from you all morning. You had me worried sick.” Still, she didn’t notice Anthony sitting next to you, politely sipping his tea. Your venture off the grid must have really shaken her.

“I’m fine. I just…” you paused, realizing an anger of your own. “Wait, how did you even find me?”

Her posture prepared to defend her actions, but her face still had the good sense to look at least slightly abashed. “Your father taught me how to track your location with my phone.”

The only thing saving her from the weight of your full irritation was Anthony’s presence. But make no mistake, there would be a conversation about this blatant invasion of privacy. “As you can see, I’m perfectly fine. Can we talk about this later, please?”

Coming down from her spiral of overreaction, her gaze finally flickered over to Anthony. You almost pitied her when he flashed that breath-stealing smile in her direction. “I apologize for the distress. I fear this may be my fault. I’ve been rudely monopolizing your daughter’s attention. We bonded during some early morning cardio, so naturally I invited her to enjoy a well-deserved breakfast pastry to undo all that hard work.”

The apples of her cheeks turned the exact shade of red as the aforementioned fruit. Whether it was from embarrassment, or the unavoidable fluster that Anthony tended to evoke, you weren’t sure. She gathered her composure before giving you a skeptical look. “You got out of bed on Saturday morning to workout? That seems unlikely.”

You plopped a piece of pastry in your mouth to hide an uncomfortable grin. “A workout routine was listed in all that recovery research you gave me. I thought you’d be pleased…”

“I’ve never seen you lift more than a coffee before 10:00AM, let alone break a sweat.”

Anthony’s velvety tone captured her attention again. “Well, I can confirm without a doubt that we were both a sweaty mess. She was extremely motivated. It really pushed me to my limits, I could barely keep up.”

You found yourself silently wondering if faking an illness would get you out of this conversation, but before you could craft a plan Anthony turned up the charm. “Would you care to join us…” he paused. “I’m sorry, I’m afraid I didn’t catch your name?”

“It’s Kathleen,” she offered him demurely.

“How lovely,” he beamed. “Forgive my poor manners, Kathleen. I’m Anthony Bridgerton.”

“Bridgerton,” she practically gasped. “As in Bridgerton House Enterprises?”

You looked between the two of them in surprise. How could she possibly know of him?

“One and the same,” he confirmed. “Are you familiar with our work?”

“Just what I’ve read about the new Children’s Hospital. What you’re doing is a godsend for those parents. You have no idea what relief that will bring them. To not have to think about such trivial things during the worst moments of your life… that’s a gift.” Her voice trembled with reverence. You knew she was remembering a darker time.

“Ahh, yes.” His eyes lit up with affection. “That is a joint endeavor with my mother. She’s quite passionate about it. She is always looking for like-minded volunteers to join her team if you are interested in getting further involved.”

“I’ll have to remember that…” her tone shifted to one only a mother could summon. “Mr. Bridgerton..”

“Please,” he interrupted. “Call me Anthony.”

She gave him an appeasing smile. “Anthony… I appreciate your offer to join you, but I was hoping to get a moment with my daughter alone. We have some things we need to discuss.”

“Mom,” you screeched.This level of mortification wasn’t something you realized existed.

“No, of course.” Anthony conceded, pushing his chair back from the table to stand. He looked over to you with an apologetic smirk. “It was nice meeting you, y/n. Thank you for a lovely morning.”

All you could manage was a deflated, “You too,” before you watched him turn and walk out the door. Your mind was racing trying to decipher what had just happened. Your heart pounded louder in your ears with each step he took. Before you were so rudely interrupted, he was asking for more time with you. He said he enjoyed himself and wanted to continue exploring each other. But as you watched him walk past the cafe window it dawned on you that you hadn’t even exchanged numbers. You didn’t even tell him your last name. The longer you sat with them, his parting words started to sound like a goodbye. Maybe he had changed his mind after he witnessed the crazy in your life up close. Or maybe he had never really wanted more at all and he was good with using pretty words.

You turned the full weight of your distress on your mother who had taken up Anthony’s vacated seat. “I cannot believe you just did that…”

“Don’t look at me like that, honey…” she was squirming under your heated stare. “Maybe if you would have been responsible and answered your phone I wouldn’t have been forced to take such drastic measures. You can’t just drop off the map like that. How am I supposed to leave you here alone if I can’t trust that you’re being safe?”

She was your mother, and you loved her… but if you didn’t put a stop to this right now and establish clear boundaries, your relationship might reach a point beyond repair.

“Except I can just drop off the map if I want to, mom. I’m a grown woman. I’m not obligated to check in with you before every choice I make. I do those things because I love you, and I know how much you worry - not because you’ve ordered me to do it. I think you’re forgetting that I’m not a child you can control anymore.”

She jumped in, eager to defend herself, “I’m not trying to control you, honey. I just want you to be safe. I’ve been doing this whole mom thing for a long time. I think I’m fairly qualified in knowing what’s best for you.”

A long, exasperated sigh filled the space between you. “I know you mean well, Mom, but this has got to stop. You don’t even see how inappropriate that just was. We need to set up some healthy boundaries. We can’t be codependent forever. Don’t you have things you want to do for yourself? Things you want to do with Dad? Things you have put off for thirty years so that you could put all your love and energy into me? I know I have things that I’d like to experience for myself. I don’t want to be stagnant. I need to challenge myself. Try new things - meet new people.”

She scoffed, “New people… you mean men.”

“Men would be considered people, Mom…” you took a deep breath and tried to reign in your temper. “And I think I was doing a pretty good job until you barged in here like a crazy person and literally asked him to leave. He was nice. I liked him. And you probably just ruined it.”

Remorse started to transform the stubborn resolve written on her face. “He was unreasonably handsome, wasn’t he?” She smiled warmly at your emphatic nod, but if the lip now pinned between her teeth was any indication, she had more to say on the matter. “But honey, do you really think dating is what you should be focused on right now? You’ve been through so much, and if my memory serves me, dating can be stressful.”

Understanding dawned on you. She didn’t want your new heart broken or damaged. In her eyes, it was all so fragile - so delicate. Why would she think anything else? You had let her treat you like a porcelain doll for the past year.

“If not now, then when? If I’ve learned anything from this year it’s that time is never promised. Whatever time I’ve been gifted, I don’t want to waste it. I don’t want regrets and what-ifs. I want to be in love. I want someone to know me. I want a family one day. I want to get up in the morning with purpose and drive. I want to fail and get back up again. I want to live, Mom… And I can’t do that with you strapped around me like a life vest.”

It was as if I had slapped her squarely across the face. Tears pooled at the corners of her widening eyes. “What are you saying, y/n?”

“I’m saying…” you stopped, making sure to choose the words with care. “I’m saying that I think you should go home to Dad. He needs you too, you know? Go home and unclench, mom. I’ll be okay. Trust that you’ve raised me to be capable, smart and resilient.”

She couldn’t look at you now. Her arms crossed tightly over her chest and she reached up discreetly to wipe an errant tear from her cheek. Rejection chafed at her pride, but you could see that she was fighting the instinct to push back in obstinance. “I do miss your dad…” she sniffled. “And I suppose it wouldn’t kill me to trust you to take care of yourself for a few months. You’ll be home soon anyway - with the hotel running so smoothly. As soon as you hire a manager for them, you can come back to New York.”

The wave of disappointment that you felt at the prospect of her words was waterboarding you. That’s when you knew - You had to take this job. It might be terrifying, but nothing else made sense. “Actually, Mom, there is something that I need to talk to you about…”

~~~~~~~~~~

The day spent with your mother was emotionally exhausting. There was a lot of crying, a little yelling, some desperate bargaining, but eventually she yielded to your decisions. The terms of her departure came with stipulations. You weren’t allowed to go more than two days without talking - though she preferred no more than one - and in person visits were a non-negotiable. She also wanted to be kept in the loop on the dating front, claiming she didn’t want to be left out on the girl talk, but you didn’t miss the fact that she mumbled something about grandchildren under her breath.

All in all, you were happy with how it all went. It was a hard conversation to have but somehow your relationship already felt better for it. It was the first adult decision you had made for yourself in a long time. She was leaving at the end of the week and you were looking forward to the opportunity to miss her. You were already excited to plan your first visit back home. It had been too long since you saw your dad or any of your friends.

The blissful high of resolved emotions slowly started to fade with each of your steps as you walked home from your mother’s hotel. It was replaced by an excited, anxious buzz that tingled beneath your skin and turned your stomach topsy-turvy. You had just made a huge decision that was about to change the entire course of your life. You were taking on new ventures in new places, surrounded by new people. No more safety net. It was time to sink or swim.

Speaking of sinking - your heart had been steadily sinking in your chest all day. Anthony Bridgerton was the first man in a long, long time to make you feel like putting yourself out there might be worth it. You tried to tell yourself to keep your expectations low. It started as nothing more than an exhilarating experiment to reach for your own desires, and you were content with that. He had given you an amazing night, taking you to places of pleasure that no one else had even gotten close to - But then he started making plans. He started wanting more. Or at least it seemed that way. Maybe you had been seeing things through the lens of wishful thinking. Maybe you had misread it all.

The worst part was - now you’d never know. Even though your time together had been brief, it was easy to see him in your life. He challenged you in a way that you craved. Conversation with him stimulated your mind, body, and soul. His lips, his eyes, the way he smelled… His laugh, his frown, the way he tasted… Everything about him made you ache. How were you supposed to keep walking around life pretending that the most intoxicating man you had ever met didn’t just slip through your fingers? Living in the same city, but having him just out of reach, would be a customized form of torture. An insatiable itch that would never stop.

A list of ways to find him again were already forming in your mind. You knew his full name, so naturally your first step was to check all forms of social media - He had none. Clearly, he was a private person. Thanks to your mom, you even knew where he worked. A quick Google search pulled up a wealth of information that you quickly filed away as useless to you. You weren’t trying to give off stalker vibes. Maybe you would just get lucky and fate would steer you back towards each other again.

You resigned yourself to the depressing notion of waiting as you approached the door of your apartment. Sighing heavily, you searched fruitlessly though the contents of your purse for your keys. “Uugghhh! I have got to get a smaller bag. This is ridiculous. Every damn time!”

Your fingers finally grazed across the cool brass of your keys. They twisted noisily in your lock, seconds away from the comfort of home, when a familiar voice called out to you. “Miss y/l/n! I was hoping I’d catch you. Wait just one moment.”

Your sweet, but nosey, elderly neighbor from across the hall shuffled her way towards you. “Hello Mrs. Finch. How are you this evening?”

A moment of panic flashed through you as you remembered your hallway dalliance with Anthony the night before. You prayed she wasn’t coming to admonish you for it. “I’m doing well, though I suspect maybe not as good as you.” The knowing look she gave you made you want to duck behind the nearby plant to hide.

Thankfully, a playful smile tugged at the corners of her mouth and you could have sworn you saw her wink. “Mrs. Finch, I’m so sorry about that. It won’t happen again, I promise.”

She waved you off dismissively, “Nonsense, girl! If I were your age I’d be doing the exact same thing. Maybe a little more frequently, but still…” You released the breath you had been holding when you were positive she wasn’t here to yell. “I won’t keep you long, I just thought you’d like to know there was a handsome young man here tonight looking for you. I heard him knocking on your door. When you didn’t answer, I got worried that maybe he was bothering you. You’re usually home at this time of night.”

Her sleuthing skills were truly unparalleled. It was a little unnerving that she knew the ins and outs of your schedule so well, but it felt good to know that you had one more person looking out for you. Her snooping was harmless. Mostly, you thought, she was just lonely and bored. From now on you were going to try to make more of an effort to socialize with her.

“He was very friendly though. And my god, that smile!” Her cheeks blushed slightly at the memory. “Men like that are the best kind of trouble. I’d give him a chance if I were you.”

Hope started to ring in your ears. From the description, there was only one person she could be talking about, but you needed to be sure. “It’s very sweet of you to worry after me like that. I appreciate you telling me. Did he happen to give you his name?”

“No,” she said with a hint of annoyance. “But, he did leave something for you. He asked if I’d keep it safe until you got home.”

Leaning back into her flat, she returned with a white box that was wrapped with a beautiful blue silk bow. She smiled warmly and squeezed your hand. “I’ll leave you to it. I’m sure you're dying to get inside and open it. Keep me posted on how this all turns out. I’m deathly curious.”

“Thank you, Mrs Finch.” Testing the waters, you stepped in to offer a hug. She only hesitated for a moment before squeezing you back. “I’ll let you know if he is as much trouble as he seems.”

Your heart fluttered in your chest as you ran your hands over the smooth surface of the sturdy box. Flipping on the light and locking the door, you made your way to the small table in your kitchen. Why were you so nervous? It was just a gift. But if it wasn’t from who you were hoping, you knew you’d be crushed.

The silk of the bow caressed your fingertips as you pulled gently on its edges. You’d definitely keep it. The cool blue shade of it would look beautiful and delicate tied up in your hair. Lifting the lid, your brows scrunched with confusion. Inside was a leather bound book - the same color as the silky ribbon - and a small note card. Scribed with elegant flowing letters, it read:

For your new job. You know you want it, so bloody take it already.

~ A

P.S. - I’ve taken the liberty of listing my contact information under the Resources tab inside. In case you ever find yourself in need of my services again…

A day planner. And sure enough, inside you found his name and cell phone number neatly scratched on the crisp white page. You giggled when you saw the tiny heart replacing one of the letters in his name. Mrs. Finch was right - The best kind of trouble indeed.

Carefully flipping through, you took in all the little details hidden in the pages. The paper was thick and professional. You’d be able to use all sorts of pens without worrying about the ink bleeding through. The craftsmanship of the leather was impressive. You didn’t want to know how much something of this quality cost.

You were about to turn back to his phone number when something else caught your eye. Penciled in on the upcoming Friday was a reminder.

Celebratory dinner with Anthony - 8pm

You took your phone from your purse and snapped a picture of the marked date, simultaneously adding his name to your contacts. You didn’t bother telling him it was you. He’d know…

Y: What are we celebrating?

Your heart started to race when you saw those three little dots appear, indicating his immediate impending response.

A: Your new job. Obviously.

You laughed out loud imagining him doing a terrible Professor Snape impression.

Y: That’s a bit presumptuous, don’t you think?

Again, a quick response.

A: No.

A: I’ll pick you up at 7:30.

Six days… You only had to wait six days.

_________________________________________________

@faye-tale @musicismyoxygen84 @angels17324 @bridgertontess @queen-of-the-misfit-toys @queenofmean14 @heeyyyou

#Anthony Bridgerton x Reader #Anthony Bridgerton x Female Reader #Anthony Bridgerton x You #Anthony Bridgerton fanfiction #Bridgerton Fanfiction #Anthony Bridgerton and Reader #Anthony Bridgerton and Female Reader #Anthony Bridgerton and You

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constantineshots · 11 months ago

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Hey, what is your top 10 hellblazer issue?

TOP TEN HUH.

well, i wouldn’t put them in order, nor do I remember issue numbers off the top of my head. more specifically moments. it’ll be under the read more for a long, long post. some trigger warnings for abuse.

i like the first issue for nostalgia and the way it manages to show us john constantine as a character, and somewhat to outsiders. we see him as a human . . . and then his descent into what he see him doing every day because he’s a bit silly (racists are scared of him, for example, but that doesn’t really have to do with the magical aspect of john and more of his political one). it shows us who he is without necessarily delving too deeply into the world of magic, even if it’s just a glimpse.

another that really tickles my brain is technically a couple, but the specifics of newcastle. throughout hellblazer, it’s very much up in the air what actually happened and we only know the end results, because no one talks about it. however, while it is early on in the series, we get to learn about why this affects john as much as it does, and afterwards, how most of it was just pinned on john because of course the police don’t know much about the magical world. i think my favorite aspect is how, when we see him in ravenscar, magic is more of an ‘addiction’ of his as opposed to being a tool. yet he’s in there because they think he’s “loony” as it’s put then, but that’s a separate issue. count that one in this list of ten too, i think.

okay. i know. this one’s less traumatic and technically isn’t part of the original 300 of hellblazer. but. i thought the unicorn thing was actually hilarious. though honestly, i think since the original run ( and let’s be honest, even among some of the writers for the original ), simon spurrier is up there with some of the best hellblazer authors. BUT. i thought the pretty unicorn murdering people and shit was kind of amusing. sorry. i loved it.

another one of my favorites is the one where john is,,, so there’s this lesbian couple that wants to get pregnant. and one of them decides to essentially flirt with john and try to get him to sleep with her, and of course, it turns out with john being like “you could have just asked.” and it puts into perspective a lot of the things that he deals with, the ways people treat him. the things he faces. it’s a lot to take in. and the whole thing about wanting someone to hold you so you feel less alone….

tumblr is fucking with my spacing. how cruel. sorry for the squished lines </3

but anyways, onto number seven i think. personally, i really like the one where he broke ho with kit, and it’s because of two reasons: one, because it shows kit. i love her! but what i mean is that she is a take no shit kind of girl, and while she’d already explained this, it really shows it. people have said “oh fuck you john” and yada yada and end up back in his life again (no shade, chas). kit? she said “john, if you get magic into my home, i’m OUT.” and she fucking meant it too. she got attacked (and she handled it! love that for her) and then kept that boundary. i love her for being a strong character- not physically, necessarily, but keeping her boundaries, too. and also, it shows us what john is like when he’s losing something he really cares about. he acts like a cornered animal. he shouts and tries to say shit that will hurt you (like calling kit cold) because he’s scared. while we already knew this, it’s a very big throw in your face moment about how much of a piece of shit john can be, especially because this was a long-term relationship. and then, of course, he ends up depressed and homeless and doing his best to drink away his problems.

and i know this is going to sound horrible, but the one where john is like. literally discussing how he pretty much made his father sick with a spell and a dead cat (if i recall correctly) because of all the shit that his dad did to him and how he was treated. to me, it made sense. he found a way to defend himself. magic was that outlet of his own protection, his own defense, a way to try little by little to keep himself safe. really connected to me in a way- growing up, i had an abusive parent, and i could understand why he did what he did, because i wouldn’t have done any different.

AND THERE’S THIS ONE WHERE. john makes a statement about not trusting priests because of the fact that one attempted to assault him, but there’s a story where john is going through that story, and john sees the priest again. he has a panic attack first and foremost, and i think, to me, it’s one of the very first depictions of a mental health struggle. not necessarily in hellblazer- mainly because this is a story that handles a lot of hard topics and, depending on the writer, it’s done rather well- but in comics overall. it also shows that yes, priests can be villains too and take advantage of people, and that was a rather controversial topic during that time period. hell, it’s even controversial now, and we have stories of it happening all the time.

and ten. honestly, picking these was a bit difficult because i love a lot of hellblazer, but here we are. i, personally, enjoy mike carey’s run a lot (i LOVE lucifer. so i already knew i was in for it.) the arc where we’re seeing how much john cares for his sister and that he’s literally going to hell (okay maybe this isn’t that impressive because he’s always there) to get her back. with nergal! the fucking asswipe! but it also focused a lot on tony being very religious, and gemma, and how affected everyone was. gemma wanting to be like john and john shooting her down. there’s a lot to handle- like john’s…. children… that came about from odd circumstances…. maybe i’m biased here. ANYWAYS. good fun!

but i despise. and i mean DESPISE. anything after 250. i will never touch it again. i barely got through it the first time. again. DO NOT READ. ANYTHING PAST 250.

and i hated the original justice league dark run. probably because of milligan. fucking hate that guy. but regardless. you asked for hellblazer issues. technically some of these are arcs. BUT HEY! here you are :D

#asks #john constantine #hellblazer #sorry for the yap session #as my little brother would call it

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deadqueenz · 2 years ago

Text

Eddie Gluskin x Female Reader: My Everything

Part Two: Lady Killer

Warning mentioning of SA

Happiness is hard to find, let alone to keep. Memories you wish you could erase and wash yourself clean of those who harmed you. Mentally, physically, emotionally, and lastly verbally. If there was truly a way to turn back time, or to wash oneself clean and pure like the winter snow, imagine how far people would go to get it.

Even if it was free, there are some who would be greedy to keep it to their-selves. There would even be some who would use it for bad reasons, instead of for good.

Fascinating. Isn't it? How one can go from being good to bad? All it takes is one push in that direction, and you've created a monster. But most times, it's never the victim's/survivor's fault for things that happen to them.

It's the monster and their sick mind.

Eddie Gluskin, what type of man would he be if those monsters never got to him? How many times did his mother turn her back on him when he was only a mere child begging for her help? The sorrow in her eyes, overshadowed by disgust. She feared her husband, but at the same time, how could she sit back and let what happened to her son happen?

Unfortunately for Eddie and his mother, the fear won every time. She would bite her nails or lower lip until it bled, trying her damned best to focus on her wifely duties and block out the noises until the ordeal was over. And even then, she couldn't bring herself to look her son in the eye afterwards.

The guilt ate at her like a hungry wolf tearing into its prey. Alcohol became her best friend, a lover that made her feel warm and fuzzy on the inside, bringing a beautiful blush to her cheeks. She drunk in secret, not even the bastard she was forced to call a husband knew about her addiction.

Even if he did, what would he do? He drunk like a fish out of water himself! And it was best to keep quiet about his bastard of a brother, at first, he didn't live under the same roof as them, but as he once put it; "his living conditions become unstable as of late." Leaving the bastard to live with them and able to do as he wished like his brother.

Mrs. Gluskin can't even begin to remember the countless times she felt and seen him watching and hovering over her. When she was in the shower, or simply taking a bath, she knows she's closed the door behind her, but it didn't help when she would feel eyes on her, seen the door open a crack through the bathroom mirror, or seen him just standing there, smiling creepily at her; 'I needed to use the bathroom, but unfortunately, you were in here.' That accursed damned lie.

Locking the door was futile, considering the house they were forced to share both the Master bedroom bathroom and the other one. Her husband would get furious and may even take the lock off again, let alone beat her until he was satisfied or couldn't wait any longer to shove a bottle of beer down his gullet.

To forget her pain and sorrows, she would wait until the bastards leave for their usual bar, grab her preferred liquor or wine for the night, play some music and soak in a long well-deserved bath. By that time, Eddie would've been dreaming of sheep but unfortunately, he was wide awake.

His small body grown immune to the sleeping medicine.

He made his way to the bathroom, finding the door ajar and his mother slurred voice singing loudly to her favorite song, fully submerged in the bath water up to her chin. her eyes glossed over as she stares up at the ceiling, taking a swig from the large suds covered bottle before letting it slip back into the tub.

Out the corner of her eye, she spots a tiny black-haired figure peering around the doorway, she smiles; laughs even, before telling Eddie he could come in. Hesitantly, he slowly made his way over to his mother, stopping a few inches away from the tub. She hums- a hymn he was quite familiar with- as she brushed a wet hand over his head.

"Mother loves you, you know that? She always has, and she always will." She spoke softly, staring into his blue eyes as she caresses his head. Moments passed before Eddie begins to feel drowsy again, a small yawn leaving his lips, making his mother chuckle softly.

"Let mama have a few more minutes, and she'll be in to tuck you into bed again, okay?"

He nods, turning around and making his way back to his small cold little room. On the way back, his eyes glance over to their room. It was quiet; no obnoxious snoring, loud laughing, or the sounds of breaking bottles being shattered. They must be out 'doing man things' as his mother once put it.

He makes his way to his room, not wanting to be caught wandering about the house after curfew hours, again. Quiet as a mouse, he slips back under his blankets and waits for his mother to arrive...

He awakes sometime later, music off and his mother no longer singing. He realizes, regrettably so, that he's fallen asleep. The house was eerily quiet, making him feel uneasy. Seconds later, he hears footsteps and his door creaks open, his mother.

She hums quietly, carrying a steaming mug of warm milk in her left hand as she quietly closes the door behind her. Unsteadily, she makes her way over to the bed and smiles peacefully at Eddie, he could smell the alcohol wafting off of her. Long dark hair damp from her bath, eyes red rimmed and puffy, she was wearing a white night gown that stopped at her ankles, and her hands shook slightly as she passes the mug to Eddie.

This time, the milk wasn't laced with anything. He could sleep normally tonight. He cautiously sips the warm milk, not wanting to burn himself as a childish grin makes its way onto his face. The mother and son duo sat quietly in peaceful silence, the moon shining through Eddie's window giving the room a soft white glow.

"Mommy's sorry Eddie." His mother whispers, he doesn't say anything, just continue to quietly sip from the mug until it was empty. Once he was finished, he holds the mug out for her to take and she smiles genially, taking the mug, and leaves his room as quietly as she came...

Nine. Years. Old.

Eddie Redacted Gluskin, was only nine years old when another monster came and took his mother away. Or maybe it was his fault, or maybe.... He didn't know anymore. He only remembers bits and pieces now. He wanted to forget, he wanted to forget it all. The blood, the monsters, the pictures,-leave it to beaver leave it to beaver leave it to beaver- the screaming, the crying, the body....

Oh, the body? Don't you mean Your Mother's Dead Body....Eddie Gluskin? His nineth birthday was excruciating, the monsters wearing the skins of his uncle and Father, gave him.... Gifts. Pictures of their.... loving memories together. And for his ninth birthday, they wanted to create new photographic memories. His mother gnashed her teeth together, drinking more than she usually do, the day passed in a blur; sounds were muffled like she was under water.

She passed out on the sofa, arm thrown over her eyes to block out the setting sun, her head felt like it was stuffed with cotton and her tongue stuck to the roof of her mouth. She felt a hand touch hers, the bottle slips through her fingers and spills onto the rug. She slaps the hand away roughly, "Dirty filthy bastard *hic*, get away from me."

Silence. Followed by a sniffle, before footsteps hurried away. She didn't hear a thing considering she fell asleep again. Nighttime rolls around, it was around 10p.m. when Mrs. Gluskin wakes up again, somehow she managed to make it to her bedroom in her drunken state and proceeded to strip to take a bath.

She continued to curse her bastard of a husband and that god-awful brother of his. A child, let alone her own son. She sneers, picking up one of many empty wine bottles from atop her dresser and throws it in her drunken rage. She loudly curses them both.

"Damn you, you make me sick! I can't bear to look at you any longer." And the fact he gave her a son, that resembled his father by his looks? Even more horrifying. After everything he's done, he then turns around and tries to bed her right after?!

She couldn't bear the sight of that man, neither showed any signs of remorse when she found the pictures. She vomited over and over, that day. Feeling disgusted and hated herself for not noticing sooner. But she hated her husband more, and her brother-in-law he tried to seduce her behind his own brother's back, and she rejected every attempt.

When he stopped flirting and watching her, she should have known he was doing the same thing as her husband. The verbal and physical abuse continued throughout the years, Eddie's nightmares happened more frequently, the sleeping pills lost their effectiveness. So she used different pills and syrups to help him sleep throughout the night.

She didn't want her son to hear that man call her out her name; 'Whore', 'Slut', and oh gods the beating. Alcohol truly helped with the pain. Little did she know, Eddie heard and saw the whole thing. When his father would beat his mother, she would cry and give in to his demands, doing whatever he told her too.

When the beating was too much, he treated his wife with respect, in hopes -yet knowing- she wouldn't go to the police to report him for his crimes. In the small town they lived in, the other housewives were jealous of the Gluskin's married life. Outside the house, they were showcased as the little perfect family. A loving couple who loved their one and only son, with the charming and funny shockingly single uncle to boot.

Inside the house, hell reigned behind those four walls. Gloves were off, one-sided punches were thrown, mouths were unfiltered, and the son was trapped in the middle of it all. Mrs. Gluskin picks up another bottle, hearing the liquid slosh around inside it, she helps herself to it.

Forget. Forget.

That's right, that's all she wanted to do right now, forget everything for a moment and deal with it at a later time. She loved her son, truly she would die for him before she let anything happen to him. Yet....She feels like she failed- no- she knows she failed him when he needed her most.

That was the reason she started drinking, she couldn't face the guilt while being sober, it gutted her ruthlessly. A sob breaks the quiet, her lips trembled, before she could break down completely, she takes a large gulp from the bottle. Hard Liquor. It was typically a man's drink, but at this moment, she didn't care.

She stumbles to the bathroom, turning on the water and sits on the side of the tub to wait for it to fill up. Once it did, she turned the water off, polishing off the bottle before placing it on the floor near her feet. She lowers herself into the tub, slipping down until her chin touched the water. But then, she spots something out the corner of her eye, she quickly turns her head to see, scoffing when realization hits.

Eddie was standing there, peering into the bathroom. His blue eyes pierced the dim lighting of her room. His hair more unkempt than she remembered. Another nightmare, just her luck. She sighs, lifting a hand out of the water to pinch the bridge of her nose.

"Go back to bed, I'll be in there in a bit. Okay?"

Expecting her son to walk away, Mrs. Gluskin slips further down into the bath and closes her eyes....It's been estimated that Mrs. Redacted Gluskin, died sometime around 11pm due to blunt force trauma. No one knew how or why, but considering the husband and his brother were both missing and the front door was found wide open the next morning by the neighbors, what else were they to think?

Either the husband or brother had something to do with the murder, or they both worked together. The small town was shaken to the core when they saw a body being brought out on a stretcher. Eddie was found by a neighbor standing nearby his mother's dead body, the sight wasn't gruesome, but somber.

The neighbor's report goes like this;

'I was leaving for work around 7am like usual, when I made my way to my car, I noticed across the street, their door was wide open. It was unusual; Redacted nor the missus were the type to just leave their front door open. I felt like something was off, considering their car was gone, and the lights in the house were off; well from what I could tell...

I made my way across the street, taking my pocket knife with me and called out to them from inside the house. No answer. The fear something was wrong grew more and more with each passing minute. Not knowing what I was going into, I went to get a buddy of mine and we ran back to the house with his shotgun in hand.

We checked through the entire house, nothing, at least....Until we found the master bedroom. The door was pulled close, but we could hear running water, I called out; asking if anyone was in there, to answer me.

Still nothing, I pushed open the door, the carpet was damp; my work shoes squelched with each step as I made my way over, I could hear the water more clearly, I pushed the door open and there way the son; his back towards me and he was looking at something in the tub.....Judging by the legs hanging out the tub; I knew then it was Redacted.

The kid, their son, he asked me was his momma dead. I didn't know I was standing beside him until he asked me that. She was laying there, motionless; eyes wide open yet staring at nothing. I turned the water off, I felt sick to my stomach, my buddy was on the phone with police. He looked like how I felt, I took the kid with me and we all exited the house.

It wasn't long after that when the police and paramedics showed up...'

Mrs. Gluskin was pronounced dead at the scene, the son was placed with a family within the town and a search was put out for the husband and brother, it wouldn't be until nine years later that the both of them were found along with.....disturbing photographs.

During the trial, Eddie Gluskin, who was eighteen years old, had a breakdown on the stand, just like nine years prior when asked about his father and uncle. Unfortunately, he escaped police capture when they tried to calm him down and was later pronounced missing.

The father and uncle both were sent to prison for murder, information redacted, you are not authorized to view any further. Days later after being arrested, they were found dead in their prison cells. The other inmates, nor the officers present at the time, knew anything. Those that live in the small town, at the time, had all moved away.

The horrifying secrets of the small town remains only in the memories of those that lived there and would remain with them even after death. Unfortunately, Eddie Gluskin was never found, and even then, nobody searched for it. Feeling that the young man suffered enough already.

All they ever hoped for, was that he was safe, alive, and living well....

WE INTERRUPT THIS PROGRAM TO BRING YOU AN IMPORTANT MESSAGE! Earlier today, another woman was found brutally murdered in her apartment, police have yet to release more information but advises people to stay and remain indoors at night. Please check that your doors and windows are locked, and if you see anything suspicious, please contact the number listed below...

"Oh my, how unfortunate."

#eddie gluskin #outlast #outlast eddie #whistle blower #the groom

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