#i got into a mood to read what a fandom im part of is thinking of my favourite characters

[ub-club]

oohhhh there it is.

[therentyoupay]

im completely feral over all your jelsa stories!!!!!! do you ever write established relationship jelsa or have any headcanons about what they would be like together in a serious relationship or marriage????

THANK YOU SO MUCH. 😭😭😭😭😭😭💕💕💕💕🙏 thank you thank you nonny for this super sweet ask and this really lovely question and all of your love and support!! 💕💕💕💕💕

i have... never actually written established!relationship (in any fandom), now that i'm thinking about it? that said, i guess i can come up with a quick list of some headcanons, maybe? 😂 i will have to think about this more, but for now, here's a quick drop:

elsa is an early riser; elsa helps jack create more sustainable sleeping patterns and habit formations 😂

when jack gets Impetuous Urges to Do Something Rash and Impractically Spontaneous, elsa will ground jack, reminding him to think before acting. (he occasionally Still Does It, anyway.) elsa knows what she signed up for, lol.

jack loves to play Harmless(!) Pranks, just to watch elsa’s reaction. (he is no longer allowed to sneak up on her after The Incident).

they also quibble over the definition of "harmless" and the specific logistical implications of that; for a while, jack was banned from further pranking, but then he got more creative at showing elsa that pranks could be wholesome and genuine, in which they could both be in on the joke. however, due to elsa's deeply-rooted Need to Excel and her (Not-so)Secret Competitive AF Streak, her retaliation in escalating the Cleverness Prank War quickly resulted in jack's prompt implementation of the Prank-Free Zones and Time Periods. (no, he was not scared.)

elsa, usually reserved, has learned to let her playful side show more often with jack. she might still pretend to be exasperated by his antics, but sometimes it's part of the game (or habit).

elsa sill struggles with opening up emotionally sometimes, but she progressively feels safe enough to share her innermost thoughts and fears. with time, she confides in him more about her worries. she still never likes the idea that jack sees her Imperfect Parts, but at least she can tolerate the discomfort (and, yes, take comfort in it) now

(jack loves elsa's Imperfect Parts, and jack admits that he is Weirdly Proud and Competitively Honored to be one of the only people, even including anna, who gets to see them. he also is strangely Comforted and Validated that elsa is, in fact, not perfect because for a while there, he was pretty freaked out and intimidated by how fancy she is.)

until he realized that no one ever let her actually be a Weirdo before, and once he realizes the Truth of Elsa Also Being a Secret (albeit perhaps more Subdued) Weirdo, the Universe Aligns.

jack listens to elsa's Big Conversations intently, activating varying levels of Serious Mode.

jack is getting better at recognizing the moments when elsa needs him to play and needs him to listen or Give His Opinion or any combination of those things.

jack learns that it's not always about Saying the Right Thing (which he is not very good at, anyway, or so our Serially Unreliable Narrator thinks), but rather being able to read elsa's mood and anticipate what she might need (even if she is not aware of it herself yet).

elsa is meticulous about planning and preparing for special occasions.

elsa likes traditions! jack likes tradition only because elsa likes them, lol, and hey, okay, these are more fun than he thought?? (who knew fun could be organized??!!?)

so he really wants to show (off to) her by pulling off Incredible Planning Feats in her honor, too (they do not go as smoothly, lol).

jack will often go out of his way to spontaneously create something meaningful, a moment or a gift or a gesture, that reminds elsa that he cares. he is big on words of affirmation, gift giving (but like, souvenirs that he collects on adventures like, "i saw this rock and it reminded me of your cousin olaf, we should put it on the window after we paint his face on it"), and acts of service, as well as physical touch and quality time. HE WANTS LOVE. he wants TO BE LOVED. he wants to prove that he is worthy of being loved.

(and elsa has to get him to Chill Out sometimes, remind him that he doesn't have to Do Things For Her/Anyone in order to be deserving of care; he is more than what he provides for other people.)

(jack gets its, and appreciates it, but also, the Urge to Provide and Protect is still strong, even after so much time, and sometimes Old Habits Die Hard.)

i get the sense that he'd be the type to he wake elsa up in the middle of the night to take her on a surprise adventure, or convince her to Do a Fun Thing without any preparation (/warning).

and she would Be Alarmed at the Lack of Plan (especially if/when jack Did Not Think This Through), but he also took precautions to ward off Concerns by pacifying her with tea, or reassurances that yes, he did call ahead to make sure the restaurant was open before they left the house, of course he did, he would never just leave home without double-checking beforehand (and frantically googles it two minutes later when he thinks she's not looking; she is, naturally, and even occasionally pretends not to be).

elsa approaches conflict with a desire to resolve things Calmly and Logically. she tries to understand jack’s perspective, even when she disagrees, and she’s careful with her words, not wanting to escalate the situation.

however, she can sometimes withdraw emotionally, fearing that she might say something hurtful if she’s too overwhelmed.

jack was initially (and, honestly, still is, even though he understands more now) hurt by her tendency to shut down when she Feels Too Much, and understands (although it's still hard) that elsa needs time to process her feelings and organize her thoughts.

jack also helps elsa actually Feel her Feelings, instead of just trying to intellectualize and analyze them. (she hates it, BUT sees the value. jack lives for these moments in which he realizes that he's actually contributing positively to her life and helping her in some way, rather than just being a burden or a nuisance, as was/is his fear.)

his initial reaction might be to push for a resolution quickly, but he’s also deeply afraid of Creating Distance between them, so after the first few fights, he really makes an effort to find the right balance between Pushing Hard Enough and Not Pushing Too hard, so that he doesn't drive a wedge between them as they work things out.

jack FEELS intensely, and can be so stubborn. he does not always have the most precise vocabulary or tools to describe his thoughts and feelings, or identify the root causes of what is actually going on inside him; sometimes elsa asks a lot of insightful and guiding questions that help jack come to the conclusions himself, and other times, she Puts Into Words the very thing that he had been thinking or feeling, but could not name, and it is very reassuring to have someone who understands him well enough to be able to do that.

after conflicts or arguments, they take time to Decompress and reassure one another (especially if at least one of them, if not both, was Overthinking again).

when they argue (and healthy couples do, remember!), it’s a dance of patience and understanding: elsa might need a moment to Collect Herself, and jack learns to give her that Space while also making it clear that he’s ready to talk whenever she is, and that he is going to try very hard to be Rational and Patient About It.

in the end, they both prioritize their relationship over any disagreement, always finding a way back to each other.

[fandomanimatic-tournament]

Fandom song animatic tournament: Bracket 2 Side A

Be Nice To Me - The Front Bottoms

"But you're a killer and I'm your best friend Think it's unfair, your situation You say I'm changing Sorry I didn't know I had to stay the same Can we talk about this later? Your voice is driving me, driving me insane"

My Ordinary Life - The Living Tombstone

"Stayin' still, eyes closed Let the world just pass me by Pain pills, nice clothes If I fall, I think I'll fly Touch me, Midas Make me part of your design None to guide us I feel fear for the very last time"

Remember that we're voting on how Iconic they are for ANIMATICS, not for the song itself. In order to make things fair, the tone and mood of the song should not affect how iconic it is (for example, a serious song should not be considered more iconic than a joke song just because it's serious)

Propaganda and animatic links of the songs under the cut:

Be Nice To Me - The Front Bottoms

Propaganda:

Because it's awesome

Animatics with the song:

Genshin Impact

Don't Hug Me I'm Scared

Undertale

Lego Monkey Kid

DSMP Crimeboys

My Ordinary Life - The Living Tombstone

Propaganda:

Good for good turned evil etc yknow im so tired dude i

I love characters with god complexes so so so much

Such a vibe but so angsty at the same time "It hurts me just to think and I don't do pain" hits different when your sensory overload and/or burnout is kicking in

Animatics with the song:

MDZS Mo Xuan Yu

Deltarune Spamton

DSMP

Land Of The Lustrous

Deltarune Spamton

Please be cautious and read the title, description and warning cards on the animatic videos if you decide to watch them. If you've got specific triggers I'd recommend even more caution when watching animatics of fandoms you don't know, since sometimes canon-typical themes don't get warnings.

Please keep in mind that I don't know all the media and fandoms of the animatics provided as examples and I don't have the time (nor the will) to research them all. Don't come into my notes or my ask box complaining about them being included, I will simply block you. If a ship animatic included is about an adult and a minor, do tell me and I'll take it out of the post

ALSO keep in mind that I don't know all the artists submitted; in fact, even if I do know them I do not know absolutely nothing about them as people (I do not have twitter nor tiktok) and I could not POSSIBLY have the time to research ALL of the artists' controversies and what came of them so PLEASE don't flood my inbox with the artists' entire crime list.

[kx0e]

RAHHHH TYSM FOR ASNWERING MY PREVIOUS QUESTION!

So. I had 3 problems-

1. Constant study but no results

>I make sure I atleast spend 2 hours atleast twice a week doing full body or partial body sketches with references (from lineofaction🔥), and have been since 2021, but going from barely any art ability to now, all i've managed to do is drawing things from the neck up☠️ No matter how many different kinds of faces or perspectives i try its always the 3/4 side view. And i can barely even draw a recognizable jawline😭 (but then on any whiteboard or public art thing its as if the spirit of a medieval master artist possesses me)

2. motivation

>how on this earth do you stay motivated to draw your favorite fandoms😭 theres tons of shows i LOVE or games that I adore, whos characters i literally am obsessed with, but once i pick up a pencil its as if I've never seen them in my entire life💀

3. I know youre not really an oc artist (understandable, if I had the ability to draw genshin and/or persona characters forever, i WOULD.) But if you do have any, is there any specific place you got inspo from? a lot of art advice i see is to turn an object or concept into a character of some sort, but no matter where I look, and how inspiring it is, as previously stated, all traces of muscle memory delete themselves the second i pick up a pencil☠️

Have a nice day, Im really bad at explaining i apologize, and TYSM for hearing me out💖

long reply

1 - maybe doing some theory rather than drawing could help you, if you study the human skeleton and muscle you might understand more how the body works and therefore how it must look in different poses (read MORPHO). Other advice is to trace your references with basic shapes and landmark (just a cube and a cross for the face) and then do your study, you can also do quick studies focusing on only one part of the body but draw it under all angles (the thing is to not rush, if you have trouble drawing the face as a whole, draw all the element separated and add them little by little)

2 - this honestly depends on the person, im someone who loves fandom art but i have zero OCs because im not interested, dont force yourself to draw things you dont want too it usually ends up looking bad anyway !

3 - i do look at objects first when doing character design, but i also like to look at plants or in fashion history books. Most of the time i first do a global search on pinterest to find the general idea and then go to more specific sites depending on what im going for

i think you should take your time and draw only when you're in the mood for it, when you feel motivated pick up a pen and DONT THINK just draw whatever

remember art takes time, patience and a lot of practice, dont force yourself and draw for yourself first ^^

[jils-things]

❨♡❩ valentine's week ; platonic day

okay my biggest regret for this letter is that I don't actually have enough platonics to fit in here, like really major platonics because they all went to the familials AHDHFHSJDJJS but hey as long as i have someone, i'm more than willing to talk about them 💚

im gonna throw a little curveball here and start off with hero! before i got into poke.mon wholely, i was in a very deep o.mori mood. i loved the game so much, i played it blind and found myself to really adore hero. words cannot describe how happy i feel when i see him. he's a nice mix of comfort character and platonic f/o to me. i think he's the first guy that made me really feel so attached to him and talk about him like he was my best friend - i was literally branded as the hero friend in my circle just because of it 😭 as i played the game, i couldn't help but feel so connected to him. he's so mature, he's a great big brother, hilariously the charming type and he's not big headed. he's in fact a little self insecure... and part of me really just understood him well there. my sympathy and care for him grew all the more when i see him in the current timeline, especially what he had to go through for mari and kel. i remember being so happy when i saw overworld hero debut for the first time, heck i'm pretty sure i almost teared up in joy. hero is most definitely the highlight of my o.mori journey, his character just so happened to connect to so many favorite little topics i liked (him with sharks? cooking? love interest in mari?) so many things to love about him! its safe to say that hero is truly the first platonic i ever cared so deeply for. i'm a little sad that I don't have that spark at the moment to go back to him due to fandom jumps but just know that i'm absolutely down to talk about hero anytime

anndddd of course, as many of you all expected... it's blue! if not appleshipping, then it's the silly caramelapple goofies! blue was not gonna escape my grip if i were to romantic f/o red. like come on, this guy is the second closest to being associated with red. but that aside - i really like sun and moon blue more! i'm not exactly too fond of his younger alternative but for the character development i 100 respect him. sun and moon blue however is just the perfect mixture of - fun, mature and cocky. he's a bit of a flashy guy but at least he knows how to hold his ground. blue is just cool. he's definitely a lot more sociable than red but that's what makes the dynamic even funner! with jaide inserted in the group he becomes the token responsible adult and i think its funny 💚

since my platonic list is too small im gonna cheat a little and bring my friends' poke.spe ocs who i included in my platonic fo list AKFLFLFKDLLD hi bee hi nero uhh im cheating shhh sorry 😔

ok so like!! this maroon berry and clear salt!! (jaide stone is on the far left) if im being honest... reading poke.spe is not the same to me anymore because i always have the pok.espe parents in my brain no matter what. it can be over the littlest, trivial things yet my brain will go "ooh, what would maroon/clear do in here" like genuinely a lot of our fanon ideas are just real to me at this point. red has a brother?? fuck yeah dude. crystal's mom is meh but her divorced husband is better?? yeah. yeah REAL. the best part about having clear and maroon close to me is that i actually tend to imagine what would jaide be doing with them together, i mean clear has a little connection to d.evon corp and that's already a great bridge to ponder over how jaide and clear interacts. we may have not written anything TOO canon yet but the ideas are there. and then there's maroon with red meeting gold. there's a perfect bridge to make jaide at least interact with them. i know we're just floating on the bridge of ideas and we didn't actually canonize as much with the parents together but it's just so fun to think about, y'know?? maroon and clear are just written so amazingly well to me and well we're here to deliver therapy to our kids 🤧🤧 i promise you there's a lot of times where i wanted to cook smth that unites all 3 of them together but I just didn't have the time 😭 btw maroon is definitely the person i'd run to for comfort because she wouldn't judge no matter what and would find a way to comfort and of course give a nice nice delicious meal. clear is probably a little more difficult to befriend but if i imagine if you at least get past his cold ice exterior he's a very sweet man (and maroon can vouch for that ☝️☝️)

sorry this ended up becoming a little message to my actual friends but ahakskdjdjd i tried 😭

oh oh and big big BIG shoutout to my fucked up cartridge family created by my circle of pokep.asta obsessed mutuals AKKDKFJDJD 💚💚💚 from fuckin mike and steven stou.ghton, to kalei to jasper to grey to megabyte to rainbow to teo to jayden to blake to jett to orion to EVEN RHYS' PAPARAZZI to FUCKIN GREYYYY AAHHH GREYYYYY (UGLY CRIES) I'D PLASTER IMAGES BUT I FEEL BAD SHARING TOO MUCH ART DRAWN BY YALL HERE BUT I LOVE THEM UGHHH

yeah I didn't have much of an elaborate outline going on here unlike my last one its a little more passionate and sporadic AHJSDJJSHS anyways yayyayayay love my frens :]]] thank you platonics :]]]

[elisedonut]

fic author interview

Thank you for the tag @mirrorofliterature I'm tagging whoever feels like doing it!

How many works do you have on AO3?

33.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

42,741 words.

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Raspberry Muffin Flintley - 139 

at least we're trying Flintley - 104

Rhododendrons and False Indigo Harry/George - 102 (why its only been up a week wtf)

Anyone But You Draco/Percy - 98 

Storytime Naps Perciver - 96 

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yeah! unless it's just asking me to make more then i tend to get annoyed and ignore it but i don't get very many at the moment so i tend to stay on top of it pretty well

5. What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

Deceased. i guess? it's really the only one I got

i don't write angsty stuff much

6. What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

most of what i write barely even has AN ending I do a lot of open endings

i think the closest I've gotten to a complete story story have been A Shell for a Mate and Camera Cutie and they both end pretty happy

7. Do you write a cross-overs?

I have not as of yet! if I ever do it's probably going to be an isekai type scenario because it seems like the most fun to me

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I still have not shockingly

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Sometimes im not very good at it and am still learning on that front most of it tends to cut before smut really happens or is just jacking off

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope.

12. Have you co-written a fic before?

Also no.

13. What's your all time favourite ship?

I'm a big multi shipper so don't really even have one within one single fandom and you want an overall??

right now 99% of what i think about is Percy ships

14. What's a WIP that you want to finish but think you never will?

hmm if i say all of them do i lose my writer card?

jkjk

but i do have alot of things I've started because the mood hit that i just can't see myself going back to like i have 3k for an amnesia memories au that has just been gathering dust since that original sprint of inspo hit

15. What are your writing strengths?

??? i come up with fun concepts i think? or at least they're fun to me

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

the writing part really I come up with far more ideas then I would ever be able to write hence why I still post alot on here but also like making the idea an actual story story and not just a small slice of a story

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in fic?

I'm too lazy for it overall.

18. What's the first fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter so far it's the only fandom I've written for

19. What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

I'm not sure i ofc have a list of Percy ships i want to try which is currently

Dudley, Seamus, Justin and then ofc the two that constantly give me trouble when i try to pair them with Percy, Remus and Harry

but like outside of Percy ??

i have fandoms but most are dormant as of now like i love Idolmaster and stay caught up on the music but the idea of writing fics for it is like eh if anything it would be Makio/Soichiro tbh i miss them

I finished rwrb and enjoyed it a ton but with the firstprince being canon my brain just doesn't care that much to even seek out content for it because that's how my brain works

its canon so i don't feel the need to read (or by extension write) like 1000 different scenario's for them to get together

like people who stay fully invested in canon couples are powerful because my interest in them in a fanon sense goes out the window every time

i feel like if i ever did do something with rwrb it be an isekai since they are both into HP so it be a very typical get transported into your favorite series story i think that would be fun

i will never do it but fun idea

the ships i like for Danganronpa would probably get me killed/j

like i am with Percy now i was a big Chihiro multi shipper in my DR days before settling on ChiMaru as my favorite for them

20. What's your favourite fic that you've written?

controversial pick but Secret Fantasy 

i put so much work into it KNOWING no one was going to care about it because it's incest but i care about it damn it!! its the longest fic ive written as of now and i had so much fun with it and still think about it alot

less controversial pick is Camera Cutie  because I'm Colin kick at the moment though it is a bit more like messy since it was a pretty early one

[dreamingofthedteam]

so i saw the video and im really happy for dream and that he can finally leave this entire thing behind him get it off his shoulders and just go on ahead and post mc content (ALSO YAY MINECRAFT DREAM BACK IN 2024 LETS GOOOOOOOO)

the thing that saddened me the most about this was the doxxing and swatting stuff. like that is a very horrible thing to have to go thru. that shit is not a joke i imagine, living in a country that is notorious for an overpowered police force. and i hope to fucking god that what dream predicted (that this shit is going to get out of the mcyt space and into other yt communities over time) will not turn out to be true. the story about sapnap moving in with him so that he can answer the door to the fucking police while hes live just..its depressing man. and god i hadnt ever even heard of the time he got swatted while george was live that was a fucking jumpscare he must have been so worried

but. also. i think its time for, well me atleast, to self reflect a bit? ig? for context im talking about the end of the video where he restated his boundaries. im not someone who likes to stay in the problematic parts of the internet. i run from drama like its the wildfire from asoiaf. ( i also have caved in and posted abt neg stuff im not denying anything but i try to limit to private posts) and to think that i in any way could be on the wrong side of this all by shipping dnf? it gives me a bit of self doubt, ngl. i dont know if what i do would be classified as "srs shipping" or i would be put into "/srs dnf truther" by others, but i def thought and kinda still think 'oh dnf real' and now i just dont know where i stand..? i definitely need to think on it a bit. also i think i have interacted with nsfw art on this blog before, and goddamit i cant even check coz stupid me didnt even bother to tag properly, but from now on all nsfw art (not that i expect there to be many more) will be properly tagged. and if its not just tell me (idk who even is reading this anymore but whatever). as to dnf posting? idk. ill have to wait and see the general mood on here

and also like, that bit def has left a sour taste in my mouth AND IM NOT SAYING THATS DREAMS FAULT but its just...its tough man. dream having to change his mindset on fan spaces because of all this just saddens me a lot. and him saying that has then changed MY mindset on fandom, especially rpf, as someone whose both primary fandoms are rpf. i hope maybe in the future dream is able to engage on a more positive level and not have to just cut himself off from it entirely (im not sad abt him leaving twitter like, good riddance bitches, but i think i'll just miss a random tweet from him to wake up to)

[powerpolyculeshowdown]

god I so feel just totally avoiding the main quest. I love when I can do that in games. like yeah ik the main quest is over there but I'm gonna do all this other stuff. main quest can wait!

is tma The Magnus Archives? I never really got into it but I relate a lot to having brainrot about your fandom...and very much to having lots of ideas and not writing them lol.

though my brainrot lately has been Minecraft. so instead of having writing ideas I just have ideas for what I wanna make. I sit at work in meetings and just think about the house I wanna build and get really indecisive about the building shape sjdklfjkf

-shark anon

sorry zelda, i can't save hyrule, i'm busy doing hot girl shit (fucking around and finind out) (so many game overs i am Not a Good Gamer)

yes!! tma is The Magnus Archives and i love it so much but more importantly I love the characters so much and it's difficult for me to capture personalities so i've been trying a lot to practice with them cause they mean so much to me and i know whatever i write will be kinda ooc but i still want it to at least feel like the characters? which is very difficult when 2 of them are background characters and while both are mentioned multiple times one makes one appearance and the other well im writing about who he was before i cant elaborate on that without spoilers but theres basically no reference material for that part of his life aside from fan stuff so im tryin my best djahdsh (any tma fans reading this yes im talkin about gerry and michael), it's good tho cause i get to practice/improve my english so even if they stay in drafts i get to feel productive? aslhdlashdla

oh man i havent played minecraft in forever, im rarely in the mood for it but when i am i usually get the brainrot for like a month sakjdah last time i was playing on a server w friends that was modded to add more stuff to vanilla so it had a bunch of new animals and i started making a zoo (then the brainrot died and i never finished the zoo rip i hope those animals r ok) i also had so many cats at home my farm animals started despawning :) i love kitty <3

i hope u can think about a building shape u like !!

[castlebyersafterdark]

ok, on a genuine note, i've been coming here and enjoying the spice level of your blog for several months. obviously youre catering to an audience here, as are other spicy blogs, but i genuinely have to ask - as someone who doesnt seem to have such a high sex drive as you but is still very very into the whole romance and excitement of spicy byler - how do you cope on a daily basis haha

i mean this blog, obv, but you have implied that you as a person outside of spicy byler etc have also this sort of high libido etc. i mean, you've got your man but overall in your life, before him and maybe during dry spells - talking to others here who may relate, too - doesnt it get exhausting lol?

ive been big into romance as part of stories since i was a teen but the sexuality aspect of it, and leaning into that as a need and a drive, exploring that part of myself, is quite new to me. i realise im really not as high libido as many people especially in this fandom. i get that may seem sad to some but really it just feels like im kind of... more in control of what i get to do, especially compared to certain times (of the month lmao) when i am super horny and its literally so tiring when everything reminds you of sex haha

so im just wondering for people with high sex drives, do you ever get exhausted being constantly horny lmao. and how do you focus at work/when other important things need doing lol

all love! just curious. cos its a physical feeling as much as emotional so its not as simple as like... me sating my need for romance by reading or dreaming etc.

Friend, are you calling me a slut?? The AUDACITY! Wellllllll. 😉🤭 JOKING!! SAID WITH LOVE NO WORRIES!!

I feel like this is a perfect example of hmmm to overshare or not to overshare - well, I'm utilizing a cut here so what do we think. Personal insights below:

To be fair - I'm not walking around 24/7 only thinking about either this show or pairing or sex in general hahahaha. Yeah, that would be exhausting and a little crazy! Maybe some do! No shade! It's just very concentrated here - you are spot on. There's a theme and a catered interest here so that's what we all see. Just like I often say about the celebrities we follow on social media - we see about 5% of a life, if that. Same with bloggers!! Why I kind of have been embracing talking about some non-spicy Byler things here too, because I decided not strictly adhering to a very tiny niche of content is more relaxing and if people no longer want to hang out - so be it!! But, yes. This blog does serves as a concentration of that topic.

But it is very true what I've said previously, to speak very frankly here on out on this post - I do have a pretty high sex drive. I'm very open about that! Because in the wake of a world careening towards repression and shame, no thanks. There's nothing wrong with having a healthy relationship with pleasure and sex. It's a major part of my life. Just is. Everyone's different. I cope by not really denying that or feeling ashamed by any of it? Sex and pleasure and love and beauty and happiness. I want to live my life surrounded by good things and those are good things to me.

Having a high libido is - well it's convenient being in a loving long term relationship, thaaaaat's for sure. HA. Yeah 😏 I definitely had fun when I was single/dating around, but I wasn't totally indiscriminate. It wasn't constant. Again, as always, no shade - but I've heard of guys who get body counts in the hundreds per year. To me, that sounds ridiculous and exhausting. But I know that happens! Human sexuality is a spectrum in so many ways. Sex drive is yet another. As long as sex is safe and consensual - hell yeah. Have at it.

Sure there are times when you're struck buy a mood and nothing else occupies your mind. Other things can have the same affects on your day to day as well. Hunger or depression or addiction or obsession can also completely take over the brain the same as a want for pleasure. Is the hyper focus and need healthy? There's the key. Honestly, there's nothing wrong with thinking about sex a lot or being super horny often. But like anything - how is it affecting your life? What is positively fulfilling and what is being neglected? There's also nothing wrong with never or rarely needing / thinking about it, to balance the truth.

On the flip side - the romance, ahhh the romance. Why is it that I'm personally so enamored with fandom? Storytelling and an outlet for my incredibly overactive imagination, yes, but gosh the romance. Hopeless romantic, for sure. But romance for me is also tied up in sex, that's just how it is. I'm someone who liked to have fun, chase a feeling, get off. I've hooked up with strangers. I've fooled around with friends and gone on like it was nothing afterwards. I've done things and fallen desperately head over heels and let it negatively affect me. I had certain things I'd only do with those I had genuine feelings for. ~Romance~ and sex in conjunction. But, this is just how I am. Can't explain it. I'm a physical guy, to some maybe a little over indulgent, but I've grown to have a healthy view. Pleasure and joy and love. All positives for me. I might go so far as to say it would be more exhausting repressing and denying how I truly feel and what I want!

It's all so personal and we can imagine our hypothetical needs and interest bars like the stats screen in something like the sims. Maybe someone's sex drive bar stays green fairly longer or barely budges and someone like me has one that depletes a lot quicker. That's life!!

Unless this was intended to just be a ploy to get me to talk about and detail various sexcapades well..... maybe in the future 🤭🤭

[m1ckeyb3rry]

I agree, there's something about the Itoshi's that I cannot get my finger into. I tried, and it was a failed attempt. Heck, I watched Blue Lock because of Sae (because he shares the same VA as Geto Suguru). But I am slowly getting into the reading of their character and that's about it.

Also, now it made more sense why our boi Karasu is in Shidou's system, the man (Shidou) just wanna play soccer. Karasu went "naah Rin, ya moody son of a bitch bye" (internal Karasu: his mood swings are far worse than Otoya).

Okay, I call this segment tea time with Jeirin lol

And this is where it hit me in different ways. And I've decided it's definitely like a 'how you been, how you doing in the past few years' but never revisit old feelings trope because you were just kids, you wouldn't have a clue what to do and where things will head from that moment on.

Heck, I remember my first crush well too, his name is Andrei, also the smartest in my class. Got in touch in socials, never once talked. Scenario 1.

Got in touch with a classmate of mine from when we were in primary school. we liked each other but we never got together, but we're still friends. But every now and then we tease each other about our shared history and how we liked each other, and that's about it. Scenario 2.

The thing that left an impact to me and why I cannot so brush this off, I was 'seeing' someone (ex-best friend, yes, I 'saw' best friend but we didn't end up together for various reasons) who also can remember his first crush well, I will name her Lyra. It's been years too since my ex-best friend and his first crush saw each other, and they reunited on his like 17th birthday (or something like that). They got in touch and Lyra confessed to have liked him since they were kids too, and so did he. My ex-best friend ended up dating her for I don't know until when (I heard they broke up eventually and wanted to win me back, but it was too late). Scenario 3.

But so far, scenario 3 is rare but also, surprised that they didn't work out either. Moral of the story, people grow up lol

Just the whole notion of first love/first crush is a-whole-nother sequence of angst to me. You can always get over your first crush easily, but your first love is something different but also, don't be too hard on yourself. There's plenty of people out there. (I had an explanation/probability of this in the AOT fandom and I will not revisit it because it's yea we know how that fandom's like).

That explains why I was so angsty the other day lol sigh, Karasu this is your fault 😂 im kidding.

i actually started blue lock because of a rin edit LMAOAO and then promptly proceeded to…not like rin…actually that’s a lie i don’t really mind him and i acknowledge that he’s pretty and also kinda funny at times but i wouldn’t say he’s one of my favs by any means

HAHA also to be fair rin is like barely 16 and karasu + shidou are both 18 and their birthdays are only really a month apart?? so there’s also probably an age thing there where karasu and shidou can just relate to each other better and consider each other equals whereas rin is younger and given that both of them lowkey have asshole tendencies they’re def like “haha okay kiddo whatever you say” and then side eye each other when rin is being all dramatic 😭 honestly karasu + shidou as besties in pxg is my fav headcanon i think they would be hilarious together…so much potential for being menaces

TEA TIME W JEIRIN OKAY I AM SEATED ☕️ and yesss i def agree w that perspective i think it’s a natural part of growing up and maturing!!

SCENARIO THREE IS BRUTAL WTF 😭😭😭 omg i am so sorry that’s actually the worst 😕💔 but yes sometimes people just aren’t meant to be…the way he realized what he was missing out on though and tried to come back as if you wouldn’t move 😒 the audacity fr…HAHA but agreed i think there’s also a lot of societal emphasis on FIRST kiss, FIRST bf/gf, etc, so people tend to romanticize and idealize those connections in their minds a ton when it’s really not like that…there’s so many people in the world!! like is a boy from your elementary school necessarily the one for you?? maybe not!! and especially as people change and grow and whatnot…even my best friends from back then who i’m still friends with are nowhere near as close as the friends i’ve made now because we’re all different and at different life stages so it stands to reason that it’s the same romantically

the aot fandom is genuinely horrific bro i was in the trenches with attack on titan (originally an eren stan here) but so many people in the fandom are like kind of insane, have no media literacy/reading comprehension, and are WAYYY too cool w excusing genocide 😭 as much as i once loved it idk if i could ever go back to it 😓

HAHA karasu inspiring angst 🤩 we love him for that fr (<- saying this as an angst enjoyer in fiction ofc not as someone wishing angst upon you irl 😩)

[love-fireflysong]

OH DEAR HI I'm the anon from before HII!!

Thank you so much for reading my message, it literally made my day!!

First of all NOO THE SUITCASE?? I hope you get it back soon, that sucks 😭

For the Outlast AU, girl I read the newest chapter the second it came out, and oh boy was I screeching LMAO

I was actually kinda worried since it had been a while since the last fic and I was worried you had paused writing, but then it was THERE, and it was ASHLEY POV AGAIN AUGH (Ash is my favorite UD character LMAO)

So thoughts, where do I even begin???? I'm gonna add some of my favorite lines that I just love a lot LOL

''All because it was actually his voice. It wasn't an electronic facsimile screaming and sobbing desperately through a bluetooth earbud, and it certainly wasn't her own voice weaving his actual words through the folds of her brain during the private late night conversations the three of them hadn't been able to enjoy for almost three weeks now. It was him''

Girl I am crying already O[-[

It's so heartbreaking reading about their separation and now that it's so close for them I just wanna SCREAM

''All of which she knew because Ashley had been the one to turn that once alive inmate into a bloody, mangled corpse herself. All for the crime of them simply being the last thing that stood between her and the door that kept her from Chris and Josh.

''Ash can murder a little bit, as a treat /J

GO GIRL GO GET YOUR BOYS.

''Has her name always sounded like this? Like it had been created solely to be spoken in his voice, said like it was something holy—like she was holy?''

God I keep coming back to this line, it's just. Perfection. It's so darn good.

''Forcing himself to push off of the wall and continue his hurried stumble down the stairs, steadfastly ignoring the bright, sticky handprints that he had left in his wake. (Though really, Ashley can't help but think, what is one more mark of blood in a place that is already saturated in it.)

''I just really like this line, it's chilling!

"Okay, I gotta get this off my chest, but whoever the hell it was that suggested the couple's retreat to the insane asylum is officially being kicked out of the polycule."

SJSHSJK what would we do without our Chrissy 😭 Always gotta lighten the mood!

Also just the entire last paragraph... girl my heart is on the floor, it is in pieces, I am crying

Their reunion was just so heartwarming and with every second it took for them to see each other, I just kept waiting for the rug to be swept out from my under feet and for the angst to kick in, but NOT THIS TIME!! THEY'RE TOGETHER!!

God the way they just look at each other, taking in how much (or how little) they've changed O[-[

I don't know if half of this makes sense, I'm just rambling LMAOO

Seriously though, you deserve only the highest praise, I genuinely loved this fic, and I am eagerly waiting to inhale the next parts!!!!!

There's so much more I want to share, buy AUGH WORDS

Also writing Chrissy like that reminded me of a dream I had once I first discovered the Fandom. I think it was a text post that was like ''If Chris kissed Ashley, could he say he Chrissed her?'' and I got so mad about it I woke up LMAOOO

AAAAAHHHHHHH IM SO GLAD THAT YOU ENJOYED IT!!!!!!

(I will say though that the fact that this is another Ashley POV addition is just chance, once I actually stop working on these """"snippets"""" the plan is that the viewpoints will switch between the three of them so I hope that this doesn't deter you any on future stories for this universe askdaksldsaj)

You would not believe how much fun I had writing literally any of the parts where they were all basically close enough to touch but still so far apart that anything could happen to prevent the reunions. Pining in a completely different sense of the word there: a nice fun, obsessive, desperate pining where they're willing to do whatever and kill whoever it takes as long as they're back together. They can ALL do some murder, as a treat <3 They deserve that much I think lmao

And man, that whole name scene? From the very beginning I knew that Chris was gonna (unintentionally) distract her with her name until she couldn't take it anymore and finally interrupt him. But that whole 'holy' line? Yeah that one came out of left field for even me alskdjlaksjd Vividly remembering writing that bit and going 'oh shit, that's fucking good I am so good at this shit'... before immediately tearing out my hair for the next and calling myself a fraud probably not even thirty seconds later SDFKLJSDFJ

And that whole 'kicked out of the polycule' line? That was the one single line I had had planned out since I started writing this one like two years ago. And yet, the line had originally been a JOSH line. Delivered flatly and sarcastically and all. But when I finally got to writing that last scene in question, I started second guessing myself and wondered if it was a Chris line instead. In the end, the only reason I went with the Chris-delivery though was simply because I liked how bittersweet it would be if the line was met with not a short and tired snort, but the first time any of them had a chance for some genuine full-bodied laughter before the tears finally came on once the reality hit.

(Also, if do end up doing something with the whole "If Chris kissed Ashley, could he say he Chrissed her?" dream line than you have only yourself to blame. Gonna make you rage quit in the beginning of a fic if your not careful ;P)

[wooyoungisbaby]

Park Seonghwa; an absolute sweetheart

Y E S. this is canon :) 

You’re still not convinced they didn’t hire their entire social life from a modelling agency.

Says the person whose bestie is Hongjoong? 🤣 But yeah, also canon. 💅✨

this is what im picturing Hwa looking like when he’s modelling here

“This is going on all the socials, hyung, we’re going for a viral sensation here! Viral!”

i know in my heart he’s an ipad kid.

but after last night activities, you’d been overtaken by an unshakable urge to check in on him.

She care him so much 🥺 i mean i already knew that BUT STILL this is so sweet. I can’t wait to be punched right in the feels with this, somehow. 

[...] but now you understand his chivalrous instincts a little better. 

They’re bonding!!!!! over wrecking woo :3

hanakotoba

Random as fuck fact, but i learned this word in a another fandom (black butler), and it made me smile to see it used here :))  “No, that’s what you’re saying. I never used that word,” you tease him. “…But yeah. You look pretty sexy.”

-under my breath-  fuck him over the counter while hes wearing his work apron 

Wooyoung has always had an uncanny ability to capture your happiness in his photos, bringing your inner joy to the surface.

🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺😭🥺🥺🥺🥺

Aughhh gosh, the kissing part!! It’s so good how you wrote this. I think Wooyoung is thinking he’s just like, being playful and not making a big deal out of it, which is totally in line with his fun, upbeat personality. He’s playful and a jokester and doesn’t want to make you feel bad, i just think that, yeah, he misjudged the severity of the situation - not that it was ever super intense, just that he should have backed away instead of continuing to play around with something that’s serious to Reader. Like, he might think he’s helping my making light of it. If he knew what an avalanche of emotions and thoughts this all set off in Reader’s head, he would be so upset :(( 

Every time you have to remind him or San of a boundary, it feels like you are speeding up the clock on this relationship

TRANS PERSON MOOD!!!!!! 

“It made me feel like you got one foot out the door already.”

Oughhh he’s being so good at communicating :’O they both are!! Needed a little San assistance, sure, but they’re getting there! 

It’s so cool how you set up the backstory with Hongjoong leaving ; ; it’s such an interesting parallel to what Reader is imagining will happen with Woosan. And it seems to be the root of those particular insecurities of hers as well :’(( 

but then he grabs your hand without even meeting your eyes and pulls you up on your feet, right into a hug.

This particular phrasing is making me feel like the #angst isnt over yet :’)))) 

and as your eyes meet, you know that things will be alright between you.

… ah :’)  aaaa im so happy

monochrome artwork of vast mountains and woodlands

me, overanalyzing: omg… san is the mountains and Woo is the woodlands bc hes a fox……. whoagh. 

Wooyoung is dressed in a shirt and baggy boxers

I NEED HIM CARNALLY!!!! uh who said that

i had to look up what a box-tie is, and it looks so cozy and also restrictive in a Good way. he would look so good in that =u= his arms and shoulders are so, like… slender. i think a box-tie would accentuate how small he is, but also how relatively muscley his shoulders are. he would look a little pathetic but like in a 100% endearing way obviously. 

Woo and Reader

rope is one of the few things that truly slows him down

…makes him bouncy? chicken butterfly? 

He is as meticulous as always, an easy rhythm to his movement, like the cords are an extension of his body, wrapping himself around you.

this added such a comfy mood and feel for me, the sentence feels almost like getting a Sannie hug :’)

Blamed me for wasting his time. 

well. i am killing him :) 

Now I don’t know if we ever really were friends at all.

my goD that’s so….. yeah. I’ve read stories online written by women who had what they thought were good friendships with men, only to find out that to the men, it had been a build-up the whole time to somthing “more.” They all felt betrayed, understandably, and while they had just wanted to be friends, the men had “girlfriend zoned” them. Which i think is way more of a real thing than the friendzone. Being friends is literally a normal thing, and it’s on the men if they enter a friendship with expectations of romance. anYWAY-- 

like he was the one person who’d finally ‘fix’ you

yikes! :D 

You start to giggle when you realise what he’s doing, and Wooyoung joins in when he realises how futile and ill-conceived his efforts are. 

im DYING this is too cute!!! need to kiss his nose ;A; 

“…You really never considered that??” “Not until yesterday!”

Woo lives in the moment so much, and i think that’s probably true about the real Wooyoung as well. He strikes me as the type, anyway :) 

It is an odd thought; all this time, you wondered how much time you’d have before San and Wooyoung inevitably moved on, while San wondered the very same thing about you.

And furthermore, 

“Seriously, this all would’ve been sorted out so fast if either of you just talked to me about it. Idiots.” 

communication good!!! 👏

you’ve seen often enough how he — and San — menace their friends with kisses

Bahahaa xD they’re the same in every universe <3

your presence treasured for exactly the way you are.

aaaaaaaaa she deserves this so much, esp. after that shithead in her past!! 

the ehndhnhjnh >w< YES, bite his ass!!

i really, really liked this chapter! i love this fic =u= it was so nice how they were bound together at the end, it felt calming and comforting that they could just focus on the words that were said instead of a lot of body language. It felt like they were able to be more honest with their words because they were already close together physically, that way reassuring each other that they care about each other a lot. Like a conversation that had a baseline of affection and (platonic!) love, making it difficult for there to be misunderstandings. that’s what i imagine, anyway. they’re already hugging each other, lot of skin contact, lovingly tied up by San. i think it’s easier to be open and honest this way, potentially.

also really liked the Seonghwa cameo =u=

whichever way [woosan x reader] pt9

pairing: woosan x f reader

rating: 18+

genre: smut, fluff-ish, neighbours au, friends with benefits

ch. summary: You visit Wooyoung at work, where one of your ground rules is tested.

wc: 7.7k

ch. warnings: gratuitous Seonghwa cameo, angst, a fight that lasts for like 15 minutes oop, sorta hurt/comfort, non-sexual bondage, dom San, sub Wooyoung, sub reader, rope space, mentions of past arophobia and amatonormativity

a/n: features a soft-bodied, aromantic reader who uses she/her pronouns.

a/n²: there is no smut bc i split this chapter up for length — but the next update will make up for that, promise!!! ( •̀ ω •́ )✧

a/n³: in-fic time, less than a day has passed between the end of chapter 7 and the start of chapter 9. this feels worth mentioning, considering what happens in this one lol

masterlist. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14

The florist shop where Wooyoung works has a colourful and refreshing showroom, filled with creative flower arrangements, lush potted plants and idyllic garden ornaments. Sweet fragrances permeate the air, bright sunlight comes in from the large storefront windows.

The place is small and packed tight, greenery within arms’ reach wherever you stand; but organised and clean enough that it does not overwhelm the eye. And your vantage point by the counter gives you a nice overview of the store, including its two employees currently at work — but right now, they’re not exactly busy with selling flowers.

“Just relax, hyung!” Wooyoung says, exasperated, waving a hand at his friend and coworker. “Look natural!”

He has a camera pointed at Park Seonghwa; an absolute sweetheart and strong contender for the title of ‘most attractive person you have ever met’.

(A title that Wooyoung and San and literally every single one of their friends are in the running for. You’re still not convinced they didn’t hire their entire social life from a modelling agency.)

You watch them with amused interest. You’ve only met Seonghwa twice before, but he had enthusiastically greeted you when you entered the shop earlier. Now all that bright friendliness has faded, replaced by a stiff smile that’s stretched uncomfortably across his face.

“I don’t look natural?” he asks, nervous in his role as a model. “Why do you need me anyway, isn’t all this for the webshop? Why aren’t you taking photos of the displays?”

Wooyoung sighs impatiently, shaking his head at Seonghwa’s obliviousness. “Are you kidding me? The internet is gonna eat your face up. This is going on all the socials, hyung, we’re going for a viral sensation here! Viral! Now go stand next to those hibiscus and look pretty, alright?”

While Seonghwa moves around the store for a good spot, Wooyoung shakes his head and gives you a pointed look.

“Can you believe this? Man has a phone bursting with selfies and now he gets camera shy? I really thought this’d be a cake-walk.”

You giggle at Wooyoung’s mumbled grousing, and give him a sympathetic pat on the shoulder. You never actually planned to visit Wooyoung at work today, but after last night activities, you’d been overtaken by an unshakable urge to check in on him.

He’d been yours to take care of, bound and blindfolded, and you can’t shake off an oddly protective feeling, like he is still yours to take care of even now. (San also always insists on dropping by at your place after an intense scene. You always poked fun at his overprotectiveness, but now you understand his chivalrous instincts a little better.)

There really was no need for you to worry; Wooyoung is energetic and upbeat, firing off jokes at Seonghwa in an attempt to relax him.

“What if I pretend to be a customer? Just to set the scene, distract him from the camera,” you suggest to Wooyoung. “But no pictures of me!” you add quickly. “I don’t need to be on this place’s instagram or whatever, alright?”

Wooyoung perks up at your offer. “Yeah, that could work! Come, hyung, pretend it’s just another day on the job.”

He ushers you to join Seonghwa between the colourful dahlias and asters, where you exaggeratedly clear your throat and roll your shoulders, readying yourself for your acting performance.

“Okay, so help me out here,” you tell Seonghwa, overly serious. “Let’s say I want to give my neighbour some flowers. What type of bouquet would I need to communicate my sympathies because his boyfriend never stops bullying him?”

“Oi!” Wooyoung protests, but he has to bite down a laugh to keep his camera steady. “Hwa, maybe you should put together something for a poor guy whose boyfriend’s neighbour keeps bullying him!”

But Seonghwa lets out an adorable giggle, and his smile relaxes now you’ve put him onto a task — no matter how silly the task is. “Well, edelweiss are often associated with courage, that seems appropriate here, right?” he says, meandering through the store. “Or what about some red camellia? Means ‘to persist with grace’ in hanakotoba.”

“San does show remarkable grace throughout his many struggles,” you agree solemnly.

“Same can’t be said about you,” Wooyoung retaliates with a grin.

You stick out your tongue at him, very much proving his point. But then you quietly hang back while Seonghwa enthusiastically digs into the particulars to fulfil your fake request. Your distraction works exactly as intended; now that he has relaxed, his natural sweetness gets a chance to shine on camera.

Seonghwa continues babbling about flower language at you, until the photo-shoot is put on hold when a soft bell chimes through the store. The door opens, and an actual customer steps inside.

Seonghwa helps the distraught-looking young man, who seems to have made some disastrous choices in his relationship — but you don’t listen in on their conversation for too long. Instead, you and Wooyoung reconvene at the counter.

He takes you through his haul of photos, badgering you for feedback. Your lack of expertise never seems to stop Wooyoung from valuing your opinion, always eager to hear what you have to say. So you point out the photos you like best, and happily let him use you as a soundboard.

He nods thoughtfully when you admit to liking the photos where Seonghwa is still just slightly nervous; there is endearing about his tentative smile, making his beauty approachable rather than intimidating. “Maybe you could a few from that side of the store too?” you suggest, gesturing to an area to the side. “The succulent arrangements there are really cute.”

“Oh, good idea!” His eyes flicker over the displays, and already you can see the gears in his head turning, working out the best angles and observing how the natural light falls.

“Do you want me to take over the camera for a bit?” you ask.

“You? Why?”

You shrug, idly looking through more of the photographs. “You said you wanted a viral sensation, right? Getting some shots of you definitely won’t hurt.”

“Are you saying I look sexy?” Wooyoung grins as he leans on the counter, running a deliberate hand through his hair.

“No, that’s what you’re saying. I never used that word,” you tease him. “…But yeah. You look pretty sexy.”

You see no point in lying. There’s something unreasonably appealing about Wooyoung in a dark green apron, fitted around his slim waist; especially combined with a simple off-white shirt, rolled up to his elbows to show off his veiny forearms. He has his hair partially tied back into a half ponytail, the loose strands falling attractively into his face.

Wooyoung lets out a pleased giggle, bumping his shoulder into you and sticking close. His fingers reach to play against your wrist, tapping and drawing circles on your skin. He’s been acting especially clingy today, making you wonder if he also feels the remnants of yesterday’s scene just like you are.

Either way, you don’t give too much thought to his touchy-feely mood, until you keep looking through the photos — and see yourself back on the screen.

“Woo, didn’t I tell you? Not me!” you complain, whapping him on the arm, but it’s hard not to be struck by the picture; the way he has caught your face in the sunlight, your eyes glimmering with enthusiasm as you play customer for Seonghwa. Wooyoung has always had an uncanny ability to capture your happiness in his photos, bringing your inner joy to the surface. Sometimes the intensity of your own expression catches you off guard, making you wonder if your smile ever used to be that wide before.

Wooyoung pats your shoulder reassuringly, holding you into a half-hug. “This photo isn’t for the socials; it’s for me,” he grins and leans in, his lips suddenly pressed against your skin for a firm peck on the cheek.

You freeze instantly.

“Hm? What’s wrong?” Wooyoung asks, but then his memory kicks in. “Ahh right, sorry sorry! No kissing when we’re not— Yep, got it.”

“Yeah,” you say awkwardly. It’s fine, you tell yourself. Wooyoung forgot a boundary, he corrected himself; that’s all. Drop it and move on.

But Wooyoung, caught up in his playful mood, is not dropping it. He tilts his head, his eyes curved with a happy smile of mischievous curiosity. “So really, not just on the lips, no kisses at all? Any room to haggle out a deal? How about… on the top of your head?” he teases, pretending to move in. “Or the tip of your nose?”

Wooyoung keeps feigning more attempts at a kiss, treating the line drawn by your ground rule like a tightrope, balancing right across and threatening to topple over.

And there is no safety net underneath, not for you.

Your good mood shrinks away as Wooyoung happily jokes around, a tightness freezing you up. “No, no don’t,” you say, stiffly pressing a hand against Wooyoung’s shoulder to push him back. “Don’t fool around, Woo. Not this time.”

A strange mix of guilt and discomfort tangles sharply around your chest. Discomfort at Wooyoung’s flippant reaction to your boundary, guilt for having a boundary against one of his preferred displays of affection in the first place.

Wooyoung sobers up when he sees how badly he misjudged the situation. “Hey, sorry alright?” he says, raising his hands in apology. “I didn’t realise it was a big deal.”

In a way, you agree. The kiss itself didn’t need to be a big deal, not if Wooyoung had just let you shrug it off.

But either way, it is part of a big deal.

Once again, you hear the clock in your head, ticking away until the end of your arrangement with San and Wooyoung. Right now, it’s louder than ever.

Most days you just try to enjoy the moment, and avoid thinking too much about it. Now the full weight threatens to come crashing down on you, right in the middle of the flower shop.

Usually you imagine it ending by a slow drifting of interest; a gradual, undefined shift where you fade into the background noise of each others’ lives. Still friends, hopefully, but no longer closely entangled the way you are now.

But the kiss is a blunt reminder that things can also shift in a different direction; San or Wooyoung might grow to want things, feelings, that you cannot offer them. You are happy with the way things are now — but how long before they aren’t? What if this one small stupid kiss is the first of many clashes? What if this is the first sign of some inherent incompatibility between their needs and yours?

What if they ever decide that what you can give them isn’t enough?

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it,” you stay stiffly, trying to keep the tight spool of emotions contained.

Hurt flashes across Wooyoung’s face at your obvious attempt to brush him off. “I’m worrying about it a little,” he says, awkwardly rubbing his neck. “You know I didn’t—”

But Wooyoung swallows down the rest of his words when Seonghwa joins him behind the counter with an armful of flowers for the customer. Wooyoung magics on his friendliest smile, amicably chatting away with the distressed young man while Seonghwa deftly assembles a beautiful arrangement of soft rosy and lavender hues.

Together they comfort their upset customer, assuring him his girlfriend will love these, though you know they’ll be like two gossiping aunties the moment this poor guy leaves the store.

You try to relax during the wait, but suddenly the store’s sweet floral aroma is cloying to the senses, threatening you with a headache.

You just want to get out, take a few deep breaths of fresh air, and ease down your discomfort without Wooyoung constantly casting glances at you. His bright customer service smile hides most of his true expression, but there is definitely a worry in his eyes, and you can’t stop thinking about the earlier hurt on his face.

The customer leaves with his flowers and a soft jingle of the door chime, and Seonghwa turns to Wooyoung.

“How about we do a video too? Talk the boss into making a tiktok account for the store?” Seonghwa suggests, his nerves fully flipped over into excitement now that he’s gotten comfortable with the camera. In his enthusiasm, he clocks a beat too late that something is off with his coworker. “Uh, Wooyoung? Everything alright?”

“Not sure,” Wooyoung says, lines drawn on his brow as he looks at you. “Are we alright?”

“Yeah, I just— I’m gonna head back, see you later, okay?” you say, the headache no longer just a threat.

Wooyoung’s worry falls away from his face to make way for disbelief, and an annoyance prickles to life as you try to brush him off — again. “Wait, are you serious? C’mon, it’s only like five minutes ‘til closing time, I’ll be right behind you. Don’t be like that.”

Unsure, Seonghwa looks between you and Wooyoung. “Hey, why don’t you just leave early, Wooyo?” he offers. “It’s pretty quiet today, I got this. My turn to close up shop anyway. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Wooyoung hesitates, but gives in when Seonghwa gives him a friendly nudge. “Yeah, see you tomorrow. I owe you one, Hwa.”

The way back to the apartment building is quite possibly the most awkward that things have ever been between you and Wooyoung — which is saying something, considering the whole ‘you walking in on him and San having sex’-thing that kicked all of this off in the first place.

Neither of you bring up what just happened, honouring an unspoken agreement to wait until you’re back home. There are a few stilted attempts at smalltalk, like you and Wooyoung are both trying to keep some thin thread of connection alive; but there is mostly just silence.

Wooyoung quietly trudges next to you with his face drawn, hands stuffed in his pockets, and plenty of thoughts on his mind. (You can’t help but wonder; how many of those are second thoughts?)

It’s a painful contrast with how affectionately clingy he was before, but thankfully the apartment building is just one quick subway stop away, and then it is only an elevator ride up to the top floor. You follow Wooyoung into San’s place without really thinking about it, like that’s just where you are supposed to be.

Inside, Wooyoung shucks off his shoes and barely waits for you to follow him into the living room. “Okay, we’re home, can we talk now?” he says, looking back at you with a tight expression on his face. “Cause that back there? That wasn’t cool.”

San, who had been hanging out on the couch, puts down his phone and blinks in surprise at the heavy tension that just walked into his apartment. “What wasn’t cool?”

“It’s not—” you start, but Wooyoung bluntly interrupts you.

“I kissed her.”

“Wait, you what?” San says, now outright startled.

“On the cheek,” Wooyoung explains, then crosses his arms as he turns back to you. “And no, I shouldn’t have — but when you tried to ditch me like that? That wasn’t cool either.”

His frustration is contagious, and you feel yourself responding in kind. “You know what else isn’t cool? You doubling down on the whole thing and making a laugh of it instead of just backing off,” you bite at Wooyoung.

Anger blooms inside you; anger that has very little to do with that stupid kiss on the cheek.

Every time you have to remind him or San of a boundary, it feels like you are speeding up the clock on this relationship, rushing closer towards the end. And you can’t help but resent Wooyoung for making you do it twice.

“You think I like telling you no? I don’t!” you snap, the frustration now burning behind your eyes. “Whenever I gotta push back against something, I feel like I’m pushing you away. I don’t want that! I don’t want to push you away, so just— Stop making me!”

“Make you?” Wooyoung snaps back. “I didn’t make you do anything yesterday. You started on that whole ‘we can still be friends after we stop having sex’ business all on your own, and that felt like a pretty big shove to me.”

Poor San looks completely out of his depth, uncertain as he glances back-and-forth between arguments, but his eyes widen at Wooyoung’s words. “Wait, you want to stop this?” he asks, staring at you in shock.

“No, of course I don’t!” you say, flustered that San’s takeaway is the exact same as Wooyoung’s had been. “Why do you guys keep asking that?!”

“Because you’re the one who brought it up!” Wooyoung says, rolling his eyes at you.

Your mouth opens, then closes again. Shit. That’s… actually a good point. “Not because I want us to stop,” you say, your heated anger slowly cooling down to brittle embarrassment, “I’m just…”

“Wait, hang on, hang on,” San says, finally willing himself into motion.

Carefully, he takes your and Wooyoung’s hands, then leads you to sit on the couch with him in the middle. He doesn’t let go of your hands.

“So let me get this straight. You” — he looks pointedly at Wooyoung — “are upset because you don’t want her to push us away. And you” — he turns to look at you — “are upset because you also don’t want to push us away? So what the hell am I missing here? Aren’t you on the same page? Can we please maybe entertain the idea that you guys aren’t actually mad at each other!”

Now it’s Wooyoung’s turn to cool down, the frustration seeping out of his shoulders. He sighs, something releasing in his breath, then meets your eyes with a tentative grimace.

“I’m not mad at you,” he admits awkwardly. (San lets out a sigh of relief.) “What you said yesterday… maybe it shook me up a bit more than I realised.”

You mirror his grimace, struggling to meet his eyes. “I’m not mad either,” you say, equally awkward. “Sorry, I didn’t really think about how that question could sound to you. I was just looking for reassurance, I swear.”

San squeezes his hand around yours, daring a cautious little smile now the thorn has been taken out of this conversation. “Reassurance for what?”

“Just what I said,” you say with a rueful laugh, unsure how to explain better. “That we’ll still be friends even after things between us change.”

Wooyoung makes a noise of exasperation.

“No but see, that kinda pisses me off,” he says, getting worked up again. “Listen, I get what you were saying, that we don’t know what will happen in the future. But why are you so convinced we’re stopping this any time soon? Sure, we don’t know if it will go on forever, but isn’t that the same for anything? Hell, who can even say if San and I won’t ever break up either?”

“Um, I can?!” San interjects, giving Wooyoung a distressed look.

“I didn’t— Sannie, I’m not saying we will!” Wooyoung says, interrupting his own vehement monologue with a fond laugh, patting at San’s hair. “I just mean you never know! But bringing up stuff like ‘after’ and staying friends…” Wooyoung looks at you with a faded smile. “It made me feel like you got one foot out the door already.”

His words sink in slowly… and for the second time today, you’re forced to admit that Wooyoung sure is making a good point.

(And despite everything, you can’t help but feel a small burst of happiness at Wooyoung’s complete distaste at the thought of ending your arrangement.)

“Maybe… yeah. Maybe I do have a foot out,” you say wryly. “Past experiences have turned me into a bit of a pessimist, I guess. But if they taught me anything, it’s that whenever I got something more involved going on, one of two things always happens. Usually, the whole thing just… dissolves. Not always on purpose, but it does. We’re having fun, but then the fun wears off or it isn’t convenient anymore or something else comes along that’s simply more important.”

“You’re important to us,” Wooyoung protests, sulking.

“Yeah, well. I’m important to Hongjoong too. He still left,” you say sharply, and for the first time, you allow yourself some bitterness in that truth. (Obviously you would have told him to go, had he asked. He never asked. And really, what right did you have to expect him to? You are ‘just’ friends, after all. But fuck, it hurts.)

Wooyoung flinches back, blinking in surprise at your tone, and a fresh wave of guilt bubbles up inside you. You hate it. Why, even in the privacy of your own mind, do you feel guilty for not wanting to be put in second or third or last place for once?

You sigh, reaching across San’s lap to rest a hand on Wooyoung’s thigh. “Sorry Woo, that wasn’t fair,” you say, not thinking too much on if that’s true or not. Right now, you’re tired and just want to smooth things over, not set off another argument.

“It’s fine,” Wooyoung mumbles; and for a moment you worry that it is not fine at all. He stands up, shoulders low from fatigue as he stares at the floor — but then he grabs your hand without even meeting your eyes and pulls you up on your feet, right into a hug.

His grip on you is so tight it knocks the breath of out of you. One of his hands finds the space between your shoulder blades, fingers clinging at the fabric of your shirt, while the other cups the back of your head, drawing you even closer into his warmth.

You can’t see his face, burrowed against your shoulder, but you think you can hear a muffled “you couldn’t push me away if you tried”. A cautious smile curves around your lips, and you gently return his hug, carding your fingers through his dark hair.

It only takes a moment for another set of arms to join the fray, and you let out a soft ‘oof’ as the full strength of San wraps around you and Wooyoung, his firm body pressing into yours.

“You guys scared me,” he pouts, rubbing his cheek against the side of your head. “Don’t ever do that to me again, you hear me? Are we all good now?”

You free up an arm to clutch at San’s shoulder; still a bit unsteady but reassured by their dual presences. “Better, definitely,” you allow with a soft smile.

Wooyoung lifts his head up. There is no anger in his face, but the furrow of his brow still hasn’t relaxed. “We are good,” he mumbles. “I still feel kinda shitty. I know I fool around a lot, but it was just supposed to be a bit of fun. Never meant to actually upset you.”

“I know,” you say, gently brushing through his hair. “It’s okay. Sorry I tried to shut you out.”

San looks from you to Wooyoung, gears turning behind his eyes as he sees you’re both not fully at peace yet. “Let’s take it easy tonight, alright?” he says with an encouraging smile. “You two go freshen up or take a nap or something, I’ll order some food, and after that we’ll make sure everyone gets all nice and relaxed. I may know just the thing.”

A ping of curiosity goes off at San’s last words, but you know asking won’t be any use; he likes to keep his surprises. “Thanks, San,” you smile back, “and thanks for snapping us out of it.”

“Hey, someone’s gotta be the sensible one around here,” he grins — and lets out a tiny, cute yelp when Wooyoung lovingly bites his shoulder.

“You think you’re the sensible one?” Wooyoung says in teasing disbelief, right back to his menacing ways.

“What’s that supposed to mean?!”

“Yeah, I’m with Woo on this one,” you say. “Sense? San, you bark at Byeol.”

San makes an offended noise. “Byeol grew up around pups, she doesn’t speak cat!” he defends himself, endearingly earnest.

“Ah yes, perfectly sensible,” Wooyoung drawls, exchanging a grin with you; and as your eyes meet, you know that things will be alright between you.

San tries to glare at you and Wooyoung, a look that is completely neutralised by the pout on his lips. “You two really want to piss off the guy who’s about to buy you dinner? That a road you want to go down?” he threatens, but there’s a poorly hidden, happy gleam in his eyes.

Wooyoung throws his arms around San, pressing an exaggerated kiss on his cheek. “Love you, babe!”

You hug San with equal enthusiasm, nuzzling against his shoulder. “Thank you, food daddy!”

“‘Food daddy’?!” San gives you a startled look but quickly sighs in defeat, patting you and Wooyoung on the head. “Fine, fine. Go take a shower or something and I’ll handle it.”

A long shower and a hot meal later, you find yourself in the familiar space of San’s bedroom; the white walls contrasted by dark sheets and curtains, with their the monochrome artwork of vast mountains and woodlands. A place you’ve come to associate with safety and pleasure; a place that eases the tension in your body just by breathing the air between these four walls.

Soft music drifts through the background; one of San’s easy listening playlists, relaxed and unobtrusive, and he even took the time to light a subtly scented candle. The atmosphere is quietly intimate, but also distinctly chaste, with none of the usual heat.

You are kneeled down on the bed, doing some light shoulder stretches to warm your body up, comfy in a basic sports bra and a pair of sleeping shorts. Wooyoung is dressed in a shirt and baggy boxers — and adorned by lines of rope stretched across his chest, already halfway into a box-tie. He submits to San’s work with a languid smile, slowly letting the outside world slip away.

“Of course your ‘thing’ would involve rope,” you tease San, then sigh in bliss at a particularly satisfying stretch. “Don’t know why I’m surprised.”

“Hey, if it works, it works,” San says with a wink. “Besides, you sure were eager enough when I pitched the idea.”

To literally tie you and Wooyoung together? A little on the nose, perhaps, but god San had looked so cute when he suggested it, so proud of himself for his ingenious plan, and you’d hardly object to such a thing anyway.

You realised long ago that bondage is a bit of a favourite between San and Wooyoung, and they are no strangers to non-sexual forms of rope play either. Both for the intimacy and calming benefits of the act itself, and to test out complex ties or positions in a low intensity environment.

San finishes the box tie on Wooyoung, securely cinching both his arms and wrists, ropes crisscrossed prettily across his chest. Already you can see the shift on Wooyoung’s face; in the right mood, rope is one of the few things that truly slows him down, its soothing effect reaching all the way into his very core.

“Everything good?” San asks, his voice like velvet while he checks the knots. “That’s it, slow your breathing,” he hums, raising and lowering a hand in time with Wooyoung’s breath, guiding him deeper into an almost trance-like state. “Focus on the smell of the candle, how the rope feels against your skin, holding you in. Nothing in the world except the three of us in this room.”

He tenderly cups Wooyoung’s cheek for a soft kiss, lingering close as their foreheads touch.

“I’m right here, I’ll be right next to you,” San whispers. “Just keep your eyes on me, alright?”

You smile softly at San’s reassurance. Even when he is forced to divide his attention between two subs, San always finds small ways to stay connected, especially when one of you is in a vulnerable state.

Wooyoung briefly rubs his nose against San’s, then lets him go with a content sigh. A familiar warmth spreads in your chest at being the witness to their intimacy, their willingness to share unguarded moments of delicate happiness.

Then San turns to you, and treats you to a moment of delicate happiness of your own with a light brush of his knuckles across your cheek. “You ready?” he asks with a small grin, looking far more relaxed himself too. Like the act of tying up Wooyoung unwound something inside him as well.

You nod, filled with gentle anticipation. “Yeah, I am.”

“Then let’s get started,” he says, holding up a piece of rope with a playful spark in his eyes.

You settle down while San goes to work, a feeling of serenity washing over you with the knowledge you are in safe hands. He is as meticulous as always, an easy rhythm to his movement, like the cords are an extension of his body, wrapping himself around you.

San’s slightly calloused fingertips brush against your sports bra and against bare skin. Even with zero intent on arousal, there is a sensuality to the way his hands move over your body, leaving a trail of rope that are not unlike his fingertips; slightly coarse but still soft. There is no restraining element to your decorative harness, but it feels secure around you, grounding your senses. With every cord San lays across your chest, he reduces the world further down to just this place, this moment; no thoughts, no worries, no conflict.

You glance at Wooyoung to find him watching you with a slow, dopey smile, all his earlier tension evaporated. His smile widens when he notices you looking, and your own lips curve up in response.

The diamond chest harness snugly hugs your breasts, and you feel the odd urge to preen, filled with a surge of confidence at how they accentuate the soft curves of your body. You arch your back just lightly, and Wooyoung bites his lip with a breathy laugh; he will always respect the need to show off.

“Looks nice,” he says, slightly raspy from the effort to summon his voice.

“Back at you,” you hum, casting an admiring glance at Wooyoung’s body and the ropework. “San did well.”

San strokes the back of your head, and gives the nape of your neck a small, appreciate squeeze at your compliment. “Ready for the next part?” he asks, looking from you to Wooyoung with a quiet intensity in his eyes, fully absorbed in his role of caretaker.

Once he is sure you are both still comfortable and in a good mind-space, San helps you down on the bed, on your side with one arm outstretched in wait. Then he helps Wooyoung to lay next to you, your arms neatly wrapping around Wooyoung’s waist as you scoot close, until your chests are pressed up against each other.

Wooyoung gives you a half-grin, his trance-like slumber disturbed by the change in position. He is close, so incredibly close that you can see even the faintest blemishes on his skin, tiny faded scars and small traces of acne. There is something mesmeric about them, grounding you deeper into the reality of the moment, the reality of him.

“Yeah, I like this,” Wooyoung sighs, wiggling closer while San ties up your wrists behind Wooyoung’s back, trapping you together.

“Good,” San says, his eyes curving as he finishes the last knot and looks up at you. “How about you? Still comfortable?”

More than comfortable; small jolts of excitement are firing off inside your veins at Wooyoung’s proximity, but you take a few slow breaths, guiding yourself back into the easy-going atmosphere. “Very,” you joke, squeezing your arms around Wooyoung. “As far as methods of conflict resolution go, this is definitely a new favourite.”

“See? Told you it was a good idea.” San grins at you, grabbing another length of rope; his work is not done yet. He starts on Wooyoung’s ankles, whose expression has gone thoughtful at your comment.

Tied up the way you are, there is no escaping Wooyoung’s pensive gaze — but you don’t try to, meeting his eyes while he is brought into an even deeper state of constraint. He slowly blinks at you, pupils dilated in the dim light of the room.

“What was the other way?” he asks.

“‘Other way’?” you frown, trying to work out what Wooyoung is talking about.

“You said that whenever you’re involved in this type of situation, there are two ways for it to end,” Wooyoung says, still looking at you intently. “You never told us the second one.”

San perks up in curiosity at the question.

Ah shit. You groan, reflexively trying to hide your face in your hands — but they are securely locked behind Wooyoung’s back, so all you do is pull him in closer into the soft cushion of your chest. He is happy to let you, the ropes of your harnesses pressing into each other.

“Wait, is it embarrassing?” he asks, almost a little too eager; Wooyoung loves embarrassing stories.

“Not— not exactly,” you quickly disillusion him. “I told you it usually ends because interest fades, right? Well, the other way is… the opposite, pretty much.”

“Too much interest?” San asks, his hand now on your ankle, nudging you to bend your knee and hook your leg over Wooyoung’s.

You breathe out a soft, bitter laugh. “Yeah that’s spot on, actually,” you say, following San’s guiding touch. Your hips neatly line up with Wooyoung’s, and San starts to anchor you together. “Last person that I had a friends with benefits type of deal with, he… Well, he started to have some romantic ideas about me, about our deal. When I couldn’t feel the same way about him, he made it real damn clear he took that personally. Blamed me for wasting his time. Now… Now I don’t know if we ever really were friends at all.”

Saying it out loud hurts more than you expected, a painful reminder of how he’d seen your friendship as nothing more than a stepping stone.

You had genuinely liked him, enjoyed his company, but none of your time together had any intrinsic value to him except as a prelude to romance. Didn’t matter that you’d been upfront from the start; he’d still convinced himself that his feelings for you would magically change yours, like he was the one person who’d finally ‘fix’ you. His word, not yours — and that had hurt the most of all, threatening to undo all the work you’d done to teach yourself you were not broken in the first place.

Frustratingly, sudden tears burn behind your eyes. It is the vulnerability of the bondage, you tell yourself. It is because you are tired. It’s definitely not because of some asshole who’s not worth a single spare thought. Dammit, you can’t even wipe your face right now, forced to try and push back your tears through sheer willpower.

Wooyoung scoffs loudly, breaking your concentration.

“What a fucking asshole,” he says, shaking his head. He tries to grab onto your hands, still tied behind his back, but the best he can manage from this position is for his fingers to graze against your wrist. “His loss, if he thinks any time spent with you is a waste.”

“Agreed,” San says, squeezing your knee. The ropework around your leg is half-finished and forgotten. “The friendzone is criminally underrated, if you ask me,” he says, and somehow he manages to be joking and completely earnest all at once. “And our zone? Some cool hot gal lets me be her friend, and she’ll let me smash? I fail to see the problem.”

You hiccup a laugh, tears shaking loose from your lashes. “Yeah, you know what? You’re right. I’m a damn platonic catch!”

“Damn straight you are!” San grins, his hand warm and reassuring on your leg.

Wooyoung still looks intensely at you, his eyes flickering across your face, tracing your tears. Briefly, the thought strikes you that he wants to kiss you.

Right now, with your bodies trapped together, there is very little you actually could do to stop Wooyoung from kissing you again — but you do not panic when he leans in, filled with absolute trust. A trust that Wooyoung proves himself to be deserving of when he just clumsily brushes his nose against your cheek, an awkward attempt at wiping your tears.

You start to giggle when you realise what he’s doing, and Wooyoung joins in when he realises how futile and ill-conceived his efforts are. “San? A little help here?” he laughs, leaning back to his original position. He shakes his head at his own silly impulse, his bright smile even more beautiful and contagious from so close-by.

San does not hesitate, grabbing a tissue from his nightstand before he lays down behind you, leaning over to properly wipe your face. He does not return to his ropework, opting to stay close for a proper cuddle. His cheek presses against your shoulder, an arm slung heavily across your waist so his hand rests on Wooyoung’s hip.

“Just, for the record,” San says, his voice so close to your ear it raises goosebumps, “all jokes aside, I really am happy with how we are now.”

You manage to turn your head just enough to give San a grateful look, gently bumping your forehead against his. “Me too,” you say, and hesitate for only a moment to say more. “You… you guys do know I care about you, right? Like, a lot.”

“We do,” he smiles, dimples and all, while Wooyoung tries to squeeze his hands around yours again.

“But sometimes that only makes more difficult, to try and figure out how to navigate all this,” you say, grimacing again. “Even now? Right now? Some tiny part of me is worried that I gave off the wrong signal by saying that. It’s like I’m trapped in some weird split, and I’ll either push you away or lead you on, even by accident.”

Wooyoung chuckles dryly. “You get stuck in your head a lot, don’t you,” he observes almost conversationally.

“…Yeah,” you admit with a chuckle of your own.

“You know,” San says gently, “it’s not like I never thought about this kind of stuff either. Where it’s going, when you might break things off. Maybe I should’ve brought it up myself, I don’t know. Maybe I was worried where that conversation might go.”

Wooyoung blinks in surprise. “Wait, you also thought we might stop having sex anytime soon?”

“…You really never considered that??”

“Not until yesterday! Why didn’t you talk to me about it?”

“I just—” San shrugs, a little helpless. “I didn’t want to bother you with it.”

(It is an odd thought; all this time, you wondered how much time you’d have before San and Wooyoung inevitably moved on, while San wondered the very same thing about you.)

Wooyoung’s frown returns, and he shifts a little against his restraints. “Hey, you know I don’t like it when you don’t talk about what’s bugging you. Even if the thing bugging you isn’t me.”

The last part is light-hearted, but you can still sense his concern, a history of past conversations in his voice.

It is a new side they are showing to you; allowing you to witness not only the intimacy of their happiness, but the intimacy of their disputes as well. Somehow it’s both uncomfortable and a comfort at once; you are literally trapped between them, but there is something revealing about this kind of vulnerability, their willingness to let you into their lives. The pretty and the unpretty parts of it.

“I— Yeah no, you’re right. I should’ve,” San says quietly, reaching to brush his fingers across Wooyoung’s cheek. “Sorry.”

Wooyoung raises an eyebrow, but there is a budding grin on his lips. “Seriously, this all would’ve been sorted out so fast if either of you just talked to me about it. Idiots.”

“I did talk to you!” you splutter in protest.

“Yeah and here we are, not twenty-four hours later! Case closed!”

(Damn, he really won’t stop making great points today.)

“No, not ‘case closed’,” San says, huffing a laugh. “That’s what I was trying to talk about!” His face goes a little softer, leaning over your shoulder just enough so he can make proper eye-contact with you. “Listen,” he says gently, “we don’t have to work out anything definitive right now, but I— we’d like it if you stuck around for a long time. If you want.”

He rushes to add the last part, like he’s worried even the tiniest hint at anything remotely resembling a commitment could make you bolt like a startled deer — and you can hardly blame him for that.

You give him a quiet nod, unable to do much more right now than acknowledge his offer, then you look at Wooyoung, to see where he is at right now.

“Yeah, I’m with San,” Wooyoung says earnestly, but you spot the playful gleam in his eyes even before he opens his mouth again. “Seriously, what do I care if I get to kiss you or not, if it means we get to keep you around? I’d rather learn a little self-control than miss out on you.”

You exhale a soft, fond laugh. “Thanks, Woo. I know what a sacrifice that is for you,” you tease him, but you squeeze your arms around him a little tighter to make clear you really do appreciate it.

“Oh, it’s a huge sacrifice. Don’t you dare think I’m treating this lightly,” Wooyoung says, absolutely treating it lightly “Do you even realise just how much I love smooching my friends? So. Damn. Much. You better be grateful!”

You’re fully aware of how much he loves it; you’ve seen often enough how he — and San — menace their friends with kisses the same way you like to menace Hongjoong with hugs. In hindsight it’s a small miracle that it took this long for either of them to slip up and lay one on you at the wrong moment.

You try to move your arm to reach back and touch San, and are mildly surprised when you can’t, still restrained by the ropes around your wrists. They’d almost been forgotten, like they are as natural to your body as wearing clothes.

“…Hey, is it weird that we just had this whole heart-to-heart while me and Wooyoung are tied up?”

San just shrugs, giving you a small grin. “As long as it works for us. That’s how we’re doing this whole thing, right?” But it does pull his attention back to the bondage, and he testingly feels at your bindings. “Does it all still feel good?”

“Really good,” you sigh. “Definitely worth revisiting this type of thing under different circumstances. Ah… I think Wooyoung agrees,” you blurt out the last part; his cock gave an enthused twitch at the suggestion of doing this again, noticeable even through his boxers.

“Oh, does he now?” San purrs, running his hand over Wooyoung’s chest harness.

Wooyoung is predictably shameless. “Hey, I’m enjoying myself. I’m all for a redo without clothes getting in the way.”

“Then we’ll make that happen soon, for sure,” San says, biting his lip. “Want me to untie you now, or stay like this for a bit longer?”

You and Wooyoung exchange a look, coming to an unspoken, unanimous agreement. “Bit longer.”

San hums, the heated look in his eyes softening back into affectionate warmth. He nestles back against you, throwing a leg over yours to hook his ankle around Wooyoung’s; creating another connective thread between the three of you as the bedroom settles into a relaxed, almost dream-like space.

You’re still restrained, but you have never felt less trapped. Instead you surrender your body and mind to the rope, to San, even to Wooyoung, although he is just as tied up as you; and you know you are welcome here, your presence treasured for exactly the way you are.

The feeling lingers even after San carefully untangles you and Wooyoung, enveloping you like a soft, serene glow.

You feel it in the gleam of San’s eyes as he rubs circles into your wrists, gentle deep pressure to encourage your bloodflow. You feel it in the weight of Wooyoung’s head resting on your shoulder, so quiet that you think he has dozed off until he giggles at an exchange of small jokes between you and San.

You feel it even after you leave their physical presence behind to turn in for the night; it’s right there in the ease of your thoughts, in knowing they won’t carelessly discard you.

The timer has stopped, no longer ticking away in your head. Instead San’s offer echoes through you, resonating stronger with every repeat.

“We’d like it if you stuck around, for a long time. If you want.”

In truth, you never gave much thought to what you actually want the future with San and Wooyoung to look like, other than some vague idea of ‘existing in each others’ lives’. You always assumed the choice would be made for you, and to fill in any details would only set you up to get hurt.

Now they have extended a hand to fill in those details together. And you don’t know what it’ll look like exactly — a platonic commitment of some sorts, something that works for the three of you regardless of traditional conventions — but you do know that you want to stick around. For a long time.

The next morning, you wake up to find a 4AM text from Wooyoung.

hey so non-sexy kissing is off the table but i can still bite u right

You snort tiredly, still half-asleep. Like he hasn’t been doing plenty of that already! But you resolve to go see him today, and give an in-person demonstration to show him exactly how you feel about bites.

[dread-red-queen]

some questions for writers

tagged by @fereldanwench

Last book I read: I honestly can not remember the last time I sat down and just read a book, I do enjoy reading dont get me wrong but I just have not found a book that I want to read recently, I did used to really love the Anita Blake Vampire Hunter Series by Laurell K. Hamilton

Greatest literary inspirations:  not really sure If im honest I'm more inspired by tropes and situations my brain randomly comes up with that are probably not as random as I think they are.

Things in my current fandom I want to read but I don't want to write: I'm not really sure, I tend to love reading what I also enjoy writing which is usually gritty angst, romance, alternative universes, sacerin sweet romance or spicy romance full of passion, or just spicy in general I love the trope of two characters just being so in love or in lust with eachother trying to resist giving in only to do just that when the other looks at them, that sort of thing I dunno.

Things in my current fandoms I want to write but I think nobody would be interested in them but me: more fic focusing on my OC Raven and her softer side or just exploring her past and stuff, I wanna share my baby, but I know when its not about main characters in a fandom or at least have them feature in it, that might not be everyone's cup of tea

You can recognise my writing by: I tend to really like writing spicy content, I think my plots are ok Ish. I'm sure not everyone likes my plots as much as I do but I have fun writing them and I share them in case someone else might also enjoy them

My most controversial take (current fandom): I dont really think I have any "controversial" takes, but I will say I really dislike the use of the word C*nt in regards to describing lady parts in romance scenes especially if up until the use of the word the scene has been so sweet ,tender with beautiful wording. I personal just find the word a bit to vulgar for romance, I dont mind using the word if describing someone horrible but yeh I guesse some might consider that a controversial or hot take *shrugs*

Top three favourite tropes: 

stuck in close proximity like trapped in a tight space and being hyper aware of the others body.

kissing to distract, get through to someone or to avoid getting caught by guards

enemy's to friends to lovers is also one of my favourites

What’s your current writing mood about a 5 I'm trying to wrap up my latest fic Present & Future, I got my ending written as inspiration randomly struck me the other day but im struggling to get to that ending, I dont normally write fics out of sequence but I was on a roll and got carried away. now I'm wondering if I have set myself up to not finish the story at all haha

Share a random frustration: I'm currently in the process of packing to move house, My husband serves in the military so we have some work we need to do to the house before we leave and I think my husband is being a bit paranoid on just how much work we need to do, considering we are paying a cleaner to make sure the house is perfect for march out. I'm like why am I on my hands an knees scrubbing when I'm going to pay for a cleaner to do it XD

tagging but no pressure XD @breezypunk @severemiraclefest

[fandomanimatic-tournament]

Fandom song animatic tournament: Bracket 2 Side A Round 2

Crush - Tessa Violet

"I can't focus on what needs to get done I'm on notice hoping that you don't run, ah You think I'm tepid but I'm misdiagnosed 'Cause I'm a stalker I seen all of your posts, ah-ah"

My Ordinary Life - The Living Tombstone

"Stayin' still, eyes closed Let the world just pass me by Pain pills, nice clothes If I fall, I think I'll fly Touch me, Midas Make me part of your design None to guide us I feel fear for the very last time"

Remember that we're voting on how Iconic they are for ANIMATICS, not for the song itself. In order to make things fair, the tone and mood of the song should not affect how iconic it is (for example, a serious song should not be considered more iconic than a joke song just because it's serious)

Propaganda and animatic links of the songs under the cut:

Crush - Tessa Violet

Propaganda:

I swear that at some point(I think it was 2019) there were a million animatics with this song. That's how I found this song and I genuinely like it, I'm pretty sure it's still one of the most listened to songs on my spotify acc history or was up until recently

not only is the song an absolute banger, it is also incredibly sweet and the vibes are simply immaculate. if you want to watch fluffy flustered love, this is the way to go, i love love and i also love crush by tessa violet animatics, both of which happen to be the same thing

Animatics with the song:

BNHA Tododeku

The OWl House Lumity

MDZS WangXian

BNHA Erasermight

Miraculous Ladybug

My Ordinary Life - The Living Tombstone

Propaganda:

Good for good turned evil etc yknow im so tired dude i

I love characters with god complexes so so so much

Such a vibe but so angsty at the same time "It hurts me just to think and I don't do pain" hits different when your sensory overload and/or burnout is kicking in

Animatics with the song:

MDZS Mo Xuan Yu

Deltarune Spamton

DSMP

Land Of The Lustrous

Deltarune Spamton

Please be cautious and read the title, description and warning cards on the animatic videos if you decide to watch them. If you've got specific triggers I'd recommend even more caution when watching animatics of fandoms you don't know, since sometimes canon-typical themes don't get warnings.

[rrxnjun]

stress is deff a bitch but i feel like me and stress are the same now so🤡🤡

it's the 20th of august🤭 nooo that's a bit sad that u couldn't add urs but ur still a king for adding three birthdays in there🫡

WELL I HOPE THAT WONT HAPPEN AGAIN!!🤣 whaaattt that's such a long time oh my but the fact that u still had it is jaw dropping tbh

i don't understand why middle aged women have to be so rude sometimes☹️ wait i completely forgot that accents exist oh my god now thats even worse🥲 YEYY U SHOULD ARANGE ONE IN OCTOBER AS WELL COME TO THE 5SOS SHOW WITH ME/j (i'm heartbroken i have no one to go with so i probably can't attend) (i hope this doesn't break ur heart more cuz i saw ur posts about them sorry if it does☹️☹️hope i didn't cross a line with this joke☹️)

NOT TELLING ANYONE🫢 i look up to u for that cuz i'm still pretty much unable to do i suck💔 SO TRUE THE BEST DESCRIPTION I HEARD OF THEM JUST SOME GUYS!! i was so sad when yedam and mashiho left and i understand the soft spot he is such a lovely guy🥹 being a treasure stan is fun and a heartbreak but glad u admit now that ur a teume 🥲😌 ofc ofc we are sharing😵‍💫 HE IS SUCH A MENACE AND ITS SO FUNNY tbh he was the reason why i came back to tumblr cuz i wanted to see more content and things about him then i ran into the same problem as u that there are not that many writers in the fandom here tbh (or i just can't find them)💔 (sooo if u end up writing something for jihoon i will be waiting🫣)

IT SHOULDNT BREAK UR HEART IM SORRY IT WAS A CRY IN A POSITIVE WAY!!! i think it just means u portray emotions well (?) cuz every time there is a good sad scene in movies or books i just have to fight the tears back even when i was in a good mood before💔 AND THANK U FOR BEING AN AMAZING WRITER AND JUST BEING LOVELY AND READING MY LONG ASS REPLIES LMAO U ARE JUST TOO NICE OF A PERSON💖💕💝 (liebestraum anon💕)

omg 20th august is such a good bday to have im noting it down!!! 😌😌

IT IS the fic was originally supposed to be a part of collab but the writer deactivated and cancelled it but when i asked if i can keep the idea they were ok with it!! so yeah hopefully one day 💓

LOOK lets go to the concert together 😭😭 im like,, half serious and half joking 😭😭😭 i keep telling my mum about it and like the bus tickets to budapest are only 7€ and then i can find a cheap hotel and shit and i have money saved for the tickets 😭😭😭 like. budapest is objectively the closest stop to me ((even tho im still salty there is no vienna then i would go for sure) and i wanted to visit anyway 😌 but my mum doesnt wanna go w me and my dad doesnt either and i have no friends that would wanna go w me either and i am not allowed to go alone so. theres that 😭😭 i dont think ill get to go tbh im still kinda heartbroken but oh well its not the first time :// if i didnt live in such a shitty ass place this would all be easier 😭

girl i think its a miracle tbh but i got the names down. thanking my hyperfixation tendencies 💓💓💓 when i saw it i was so shocked tbh and now i keep getting sad mashidam edits on my tiktok fp and living through the pain LMAO. GIRL my crush on jihoon is getting out of control like genuinely what the fuck is happening to me- WHY IS TEUMEBLR SO DRY THO WHERE ARE THE FICS ??? i found like 3 fics and the rest are like 2 years old headcanon posts its such a struggle 😭😭 do i really have to do everything myself on this site.... (dont feed my delusions but give it a few months and if i dont fall out of them i can see myself creating a seperate treasure blog.....got a jihoon drabble idea the other day but. i will contain myself. so far he's the new main side character of the mark fic im writing 🥴)

awh you are too sweet 😭😭😭😭 thank u so so much !!!! this means the whole world to me 💓 once again was happy to hear from u, hope youre doing well ily xx

[wehavekookies]

How did you first get into art? And how did you learn? Im beginning to learn drawing now and am excited/scared for the process

Oh hell yeah, there is a lot to be excited for! The ability to create an image out of what You carry in Your head is a super cool thing, so I hope You enjoy it <3 I don't think there is really anything to be scared of tbh, except that it takes time to get places, but what doesn't.

For me it was a three part journey. Part one was a classic "I've been drawing since i remember and then i went to art school" which in my case ended in me really disliking drawing to the point i convinced my teachers i should focus on photography actually, so i was doing that for a couple of years instead. Which from the perspective of time was quite useful, because I'm using tons from what i learned in photography field now and I appreciate all that, but back then i was was like: drawing sucks lol.

Part two was me having a massive depression episode in my 20s that put me out of the game for several years, but I needed some outlet to communicate and express myself, and drawing seemed perfect for it since it involved only me and a piece of paper, so I got back to it and was drawing maniacally for like two years until i got to the point I thought that maybe i can use it for something and went to take exams to Art Academy. And got rejected. I got pissed at drawing again, and instead went to filmschool, focusing on stop motion animation because fuck drawing but i still want to express myself somehow and i'm done with photography so lets try some different medium. I benefited TONS from this decision, and I was still drawing some because storyboarding and designing, but it wasn't my main focus and i stopped thinking about it as of "my main thing".

Part three is me getting into fandom and roleplaying spaces in the internet. It's 2011 and I'm almost 30 in this story already, so I did took my time lol, but I just discovered that people are doing KICKASS illustrations for media they enjoy and characters they imagined and that this is like, A Whole Thing. I started doing this and it turned out to be a really good place for sharing stuff, meeting people, talking about things i enjoyed etc etc, so i kept doing it making it my new little hobby this time, not a project i need to succeed in in any way and that seemed to work. And then it's June 2016 (I remember over which artwork it happened, hence the precise date) and I feel that i may be actually loving this, but omg it pisses me off i need so much time for each artwork and it still doesn't look like i want it to look, so you know what, let's actually try to make some conscious decisions about developing this skill, but on my own this time. I started to learn by watching other artists and trying out their methods and things they recommend, picking what i liked and dropping what didn’t work for me. And this is the part of the journey I'm still in now, but it's quite pleasant.

Sorry for the wall of text reply, but as You can see I was circling art and drawing for quite a bit to finally bite on it proper so it’s a layered answer haha. And also I read Your ask while i was chilling over my morning coffee so i fell into A Mood and it got long XD

Cheers and have a good day! <3