#i got fucking muted AGAIN in the middle of talking to him i literally hate everything they hate love and joy

[vyragosa]

[planetsano]

xbox or playstation? 🎮

SYNOPSIS ✰ eren finds more interest in gaming than you, his horny girlfriend.

WARNINGS ✰ nsfw/18+, gamer au, streamer/gamer eren, very needy and horny reader, humping, sex in a gaming chair, blowjob, dirty talk, eren is kinda mean but he lets you use him to get off.

PAIRING ✰ eren yeager x female reader.

The uncomfortable throbbing and heat coming from between your legs were enough to pull you from your sleep. The dream you experienced before waking up was the cause— your boyfriend fucking you into the mattress while his large hand your face hard-pressed into the sheets as he pounded into you from behind. It was expected, Eren’s been streaming and gaming for most of the day, leaving you to fend for yourself to find your own entertainment. Usually, you didn’t mind. It was his job and how he paid rent but on this particular day you were feeling very needy and your advances were met with a dismissive ‘I’m working.’ or ‘I’m busy right now. Can’t you wait later?’

A tiny whine escaped your lips as you sat up, wiping the sleep from your hazy eyes to an empty bed. The orange light from the sunset was bleeding through the window, entering the room and coloring the walls a warm apricot color.

5:15 pm is what the digital clock sitting on the nightstand on his side of the bed read. He should be finished streaming.

The soft pitter-patter of your soft feet sounded again the cold hardwood flooring throughout the hallway as you made your way to what you like to call ‘the homewrecking room’, it’s just his workroom but maybe you’re a little bit of a drama queen. The door was halfway open, so you stuck your head in. It was rather dark, his LEDs turned off and the blinds from the window closed. His face was illuminated by the computer monitors in front of his face. He wasn’t on stream right now that was a fact but you still knocked on the twice before stepping in.

“Eren,” You called for him.

Your soft voice grabs Eren’s attention, making him do a double-take. He takes his hand to push one side of his headset behind his ear, eyes locked on you for a moment. He’s not sure if you want to tell him something but he couldn’t lie, you looked cute right now— dressed in nothing but his hoodie and your cute panties. You were wearing the cotton ones that had the teeny ribbon bow at the waistband. You had a sleepy look on your face, rubbing your eyes with one of your sweater paws.

“Took a nap?” He asks— his eyes darting back to the main computer monitor out of the three in front of him.

“Mhm.” You hum in response, walking over to him and standing at the armrest of his chair.

Eren looks pretty right now. He always does but you especially love when he wears his hair down. He’s so invested in the game— brows furrowed in concentration while his fingers skillfully mashed the controller’s buttons. The game controller looks so small in his hands compared to when you’re holding it.

“Can we cuddle?” You ask softly, wiggling your sweater paw on his forearm.

Eren leans back further in his gaming chair, lifting his arms as an invitation for you to come climb into his lap. So you did— settling yourself onto his thighs with both your legs on either side of his waist. Your body melts into his with your face buried in his neck, taking in his scent. He smelled faintly of his favorite cologne, a sultry mixture of amber and cedarwood. Eren’s arms wrap around your frame, his slender hands still pressing the buttons on his controller rapidly. You can hear his friends’ yelling, profanities, and jokes spill through his headset. To be frank, you were getting a little jealous because you wanted his attention. You’ve been asking for it the entire day nearly.

“Miss you, Eren..” You whine quietly into his skin.

“Flank to your right, Jean-” Eren mutes his mic. “I’m right here, pumpkin.” He rubs yours back a couple of times before his hand is back on the controller. Eren isn’t really there and definitely not paying attention either, you can tell. There's a clear difference in tone— disinterest, and dismissiveness when speaking to you and the lighthearted words and chuckles his friends get.

“Pay attention to me.” You mumble.

“I am.” He deadpans.

“You’re not, you jerk.” Your shirt balls up into your fist.

You just want him— and you’re not exactly picky with how either.

One of your hands finds its way to your clothed pussy, lodging itself in between his crotch and yours before you begin to hump it, adding pressure on your clit from your middle and ring finger.

“What are you doing?” Eren asks quietly enough for his headset not to pick up his words.

“Nothing.” You whimper, continuing to rut yourself against your hand and taking in your boyfriend’s scent.

It’s not enough though, you know it’s not enough. In a way, you almost hate how Eren conditioned you to want his cock and his only. It’s so fucking big and pretty, he knows it too. The way you can feel that thick vein that protrudes angrily along his length rub against your g spot with every thrust. God, and how he splits you open is almost scary but you can’t get enough of it. Fingers, pillows, toys just don’t do it for you anymore— and your hand right now certainly wasn’t.

“C’n I put you inside?” You lift yourself lazily from his shoulder to look at him, pouting and flushed in the face. Eren sighs, before muting his mic once again.

“Will you behave? I’m serious, (Name). I’m not fucking you right now. Jean is recording for his channel.” He says.

“s’okay!” You perk up a bit. “Just wanna feel you.” You say.

“You say that then we end up fucking..” He sighs when he sees the sad puppy eyes you were putting on for him.

“Go on then, Get me hard.”

It’s been thirty minutes— thirty aching minutes of being stuffed full of Eren’s fat cock. Your panties have long since been discarded somewhere on the floor while his shorts and boxers are pulled halfway down his thighs. You know he can feel your walls fluttering around him every time one of you shifts even the slightest bit, and the most frustrating thing about it is: he doesn’t seem to be affected by any of this. Still ignoring you with his dick buried balls deep into your cunt. Every time you attempted to grind your hips down onto his, he would pinch your thigh hard enough to sting.

“Rennie,” You had tears pricking at your eyes at this point, all you wanted to do was cum but your boyfriend was being a jerk.

“Are you this insatiable? My god.” Eren asks.

“Please, Eren. I miss you.” You rolled your hips onto his.

“Fine. Use it, get yourself off. But I’m not helping you.”

Eren doesn’t have to tell you twice before you’re fucking yourself on his cock— quite literally using him as your own personal dildo. Your arms are wrapped snug around his neck, muffling your moans in his neck as you bounce yourself up and down on his shaft. The head of his cock hitting your cervix every time your hips slammed down onto his. The chair creaking underneath you both with your rapid movements was paired with soft sounds of skin slapping, your labored breathing, and whines. You’re almost certain his teammates can hear you, but it doesn’t matter to you. The only thing on your mind right now was using your boyfriend to get yourself off.

You feel your high form in the pit of your tummy, erupting like a volcano when you reach its peak. Your walls clamp around your boyfriend’s big cock— walls fluttering and clenching in erratic rhythms around his shaft. Your thighs are burning and shaking as you tried your best to silence your moans by biting down on his shoulder. Eren feels it all, he knows you just came but he’s still unbothered, his eyes locked on the screen. His body only moves slightly when you tug on his neck a little too hard. You’re limp in his lap, catching your breath when you hear Eren’s team call for a 10-minute break before resuming another session.

“Satisfied?” He asks, pulling back his headphones so they lay around his neck.

“You didn’t cum.” You say, your cheek slightly squished from his shoulder. Eren only shrugs and ushers you to get up by tapping on your thighs and you followed suit— lifting yourself off his cock. It falls heavy out of you, slapping softly onto his shirt glistening from your juices.

“Clean it.” He says.

You drop to your knees taking his shaft into your palm, dragging your tongue along his length making sure to flatten your muscle to cover more area. You look up through your lashes at Eren to see he’s on his phone— body relaxed with his arm rested behind his head, scrolling through Twitter. Ignoring you, again.

Your hand wraps around the base of his cock as you swirl your tongue around the flushed red tip— then taking as much as you possibly could into your mouth, hollowing your cheeks to create a sucking sensation. The rest that couldn’t fit was being fisted by your hand.

“I said clean up your mess, not get me off,” Eren says, looking down at you instead of at his phone. You released him from your mouth with an explicit ‘pop.’

“Will you feed me, Eren?” You ask, eyes never leaving his. “‘m hungry.” Your hand continues to pump him lazily.

“Fuck- Yeah, I got something for you. Hold still.” Eren’s phone is long forgotten, his hand grabbing a fist full of your hair pulling your head back.

“Use both hands, yeah- stroke my cock, baby.” Eren’s moans sound breathless and pretty. You’re moving your hands up and down his dick at a rapid pace.

“Open your mouth. Said you were hungry, right?” Eren shoots his load onto your tongue unannounced— his thick ropes painting your pretty pink tongue white, some of it dripping down your chin. He’s looking down at you with lidded eyes and his bottom lip nursed between his teeth as he rides out his high with a thin layer of sweat on his forehead. Your hands come to an eventual stop and you roll your tongue back into your mouth, swallowing your snack. Eren takes a finger, swiping it along your chin to gather the excess that didn’t make it into your tummy. You gladly taking his finger into your mouth sucking it clean.

“Now get out. I’m working.”

© all content belongs to rekiri 2021. do not modify or repost.

[soft-boi-eli]

Hello Hello!

I just wanted to say I love your fics!

ALSO!

Could I request a CC!SBI X Gn! Insomniac Reader! Where the reader is an insomniac (Obviously-) but is somehow a pro at MC!

Like they are basically god at the game! They also REALLY enjoy horror games! They don’t get scared easily and LOVE horror movies! They basically love anything horror/creepy-

ANYWAYS!!

The reader lives off of ramen and Monster energy drinks (For fun-)! They have a Twitch (Which has about 18 mil followers and 14 mil subs!) and a YouTube channel (Which has 20 mil followers!)

They mainly play horror games (Obviously-) and MC!

You can do headcanons or scenarios/images with the SBI! Maybe like playing a horror game together or MC? OR! Maybe some things they do together? Or when they meet up? Or-to many ideas Nightmare-

ANYWAYS!

I don’t really care! And don’t worry about taking too long on it!

ALSO!

Maybe we could be friends? Only if you want too!

Remember to eat, drink, and get enough sleep!

<3

Yes. I lovesthese ideas and I'm gonna choose headcannons due to they are a bit easierfor me to write.

And yes I'm perfectly fine with being your friend! I'm actually happy to make friends on this app so yeah!

Pronouns:nonbinary

Tw: cussing. Insomia, mentions of horror movies. Mention of horror games. Fluff.

SBI with a horror streamer friend head cannons.

*Ahem* tommy wanted to paly a game with you so you choose a game that didn't look like horror until the middle. He screamed at the jump scare and it made both of your chats so happy.

When phil decides to play with you there is literally a silence after a jump scare. Everyone thought he had a heart attack and honestly so did you until he spoke up about accidently hitting his mute button when he jumped.

Wilbur. He's a bit better then tommy but more scared then phil would be. Any little noise won't get him but when it starts to get noticeable the noiseless to him. The jump scare, he'd fall out of his seat and stay on the ground for a bit. You ask if he's good and he literally doesn't answer. He's dead. You killed him. Congrats.

Techno. He'd handle them a bit better then everyone else. Not as good as you but heisnt very paranoid. He literally runs at the noises trying to get jumpscared. While you run after him telling him to stop because if he doesn't then you'd lose and die. And technoblade never dies.

If you all play together both tommy and wilbur pussy out. Techno last the longest and phil the second longest. While you remain the ruler of horror games.

Now how you all met was dream invited you to the dream smp to add to the chaos. Needless to say it got extremely chaotic due to you being on almost 24 hours. You first ran into techno. He seemed confused and skeptical.

You both found eachothers love for potatoes. You set up camp quote close to techno but not too close.

Phil popped in when he needed something for a build and noticed a new name. Talked to you in chat and asked to join your VC. You both found each other talking for a bit.

Wilbur was next. Wilbur got curious over the new person and just hoppedinto the same VC as you techno and phil. He was quick to realize that you were a famous youtuber. Mainly for your horror videos and your extreme Parkcore skills.

In minecraft that is.

Tommy noticing that all of you were in the same VC joined in with shouting. He was low key jealous that everyone was obsessed with you. Then he saw why.

You literally cracked jokes at his shouting.

"Is that an angry pomeranian? Nah nah. It's an angry child. Even better an angry blonde!" - you.

He was shocked and immediately started joking and laughing with you. He wasn't fully angry for long.

Now about your diet. When they heard that you had only eaten ramen and drank angry drinks they were concerned. You lived quite close to techno so when you guys met up he was shocked that you looked as healthy as you did.

He hated the fact that you literally didn't eat anything else.

You told him occasionally you have something other then ramen but you were just too lazy to really cook anything and that you didn't feel like burning the house down.

One month phil, tommy, wilbur, and techno decided to organize a month long sleep over so that they could celebrate your birthday. Phil being quote the father figure cooked different, but easy dinners every night just so you didn't eat only ramen that day.

When they actually arrived though you got a text from Phil asking about your address in your dms. Not think much of it you just sent him your location.

You were going to take a small nap. Just to bost your energy before you went and streamed later that night.

As you were sleeping there was a car heading to your house.

Phil, wilbur, tommy, and techno were all just existing in the car. And when they arrived to your house they didn't expect to actually see a clean house.

You woke to a loud knock.

When you opened the door in your half dazed state you expected a package. But to see four people standing on your porch.

You nearly jumped out of your skin.

You were stuck there blinking at them.

Finally snapping out of it you let them in. Confused on why in the ever loving fuck they were here.

Phil explained they were here to celebrate your 21st birthday and they were here for a month.

You stared at them for a while. Confused on what to do since you haven't had people over in almost 2 years.

But you got use to it.

So when you got done streaming and smelled something other then ramen you were thrown off guard. Like what was that. I haven't smelled that in years.

But after the second day you got use to it too.

For your birthday phil literally made a feast.

Like he found your favorite food other then ramen and cooked it. With that he prepared everything you could dream of.

Your sleeping habits. Let's dig into those.

I'm in no place to talk as right now it's 3:05 in the morning. And here I am.

But when they are over they don't let you stay up till no 3-4 in the morning. They all know the importance of sleep.

But there are those nights where no once can sleep and it results in a late night stream. And streaming for hours none the less.

The amount of accidental all nighters everyone has pulled was immense. But that's what happens with jet lag, adhd, and insomnia.

Literally you get tired randomly. Sleep for only 3 hours. Wake up. Drink coffee, energy drinks, highly caffeinated tea. And don't sleep till late at night.

Pillow forts.

It's a must and it happens. Horror movies, pillow forts, and snacks. Like you all are in this massive fort, watching horror movies, one by one you all are falling asleep. You and techno were the last up due to technos active mind and your body not letting you sleep.

You two literally just vide there, changing the movies from horror to some silly animated movies, like how to train your dragon, frozen, Luca, and many others.

You two pull an all nighter and it's actually a bet to see how long anyone else takes to notice.

You bet an hour. Techno says all day.

You won. Philza notices the worse eye bags under both you and technos eyes and immediately starts scolding.

He is papa bird and he won't let anyone of his children neglect their needs.

"Did you even drink water at all? You guys should of been sleeping not binge watching horror movies all night!" -philza

You could only offer a smirk, along with a laugh.

"I think we did I just can't fully remember. Also we were watching animated films. Not horror. Surprised you didn't wake up to let it go." - you.

You turn to techno.

"You owe me 15 bucks pig boy!"-you again.

Handing you the money he rolls his eyes. "Yeha yeah. Rub it in." -techno.

Ah yeah they found a horror game that you were scared of surprisingly. It was actually surprisingly you hadn't played it yet.

Outlast.

You had been holding off that game until you finished your other one but here you were. Bored out of your mind.

So you decided fuck it.

That game teriffed the shit out of you. It was so good though.

When you screamed they all came rushing up due to the fact that you never scream.

They say you out of your chair, on the floor, blinking. They thought you were hurt.

But you sat up and looked at your computer.

"Damn. That was actually really good." When you looked behind you and found the boys all staring you smiled and waved.

"You need something?"-you

"You screamed. We heard a thud. We thought you fuckin died!" -tommy.

"No I'm alive. My soul almost divorced my body but it's still quite here."-you

That day made highlights.

The popular y/n actually got jump scared. The one person who never screamed at horror games screamed.

When they left you were sad yes but they were still your best friends. Ready to talk when ever you want.

Sometimes I think that you guys talk all through out the night. Them forgetting that you were actually in a different time zone.

Sometimes they pop into your streams, be it MC, horror, you just talking to your fans, or even the once in the blue moon, cheerful games.

They just pop in and start talking to you. And you talk back like they were there since the beginning.

Phil is now one of your moderators too. Along with tommy, wilbur, and techno. When they pop in they make sure no one picks on you.

And since you are now close to the SBI. You are now part of it.

You didn't choose the fans did. But they are your new family. No matter what.

Even if they disagree with your eating habit.

Or energy drink addiction.

Or insomnia.

Or you mainly playing horror games.

Or you basically living in your streaming room.

Or even the nearly 24 hour streams.

I could go on but I'm not gonna.

I'm tired. But I can sleep. 2 days and I get to have a tour of my new school.

And it took so long to finally get into it.

We have been going through a huge hassle even before school started to get me enrolled.

And then we had to get me into this program.

But now on Monday I get to go in. Get a tour. Then start either Tuesday or Wednesday.

Anyway hope you liked. It's now 3:50 and it's no proof read I'm sorry

[thefanficmonster]

Love For The Faceless

Corpse Husband x Youtuber!Reader(Female)

Warnings: Swearing

Genre: Fluff 

Summary: Y/N is a YouTube gamer who has recently gained a much larger following thanks to the streams she does with her friends. Naturally, considering her faceless and bodiless nature, people are starting to get curious about her. When she finally follows her friend Corpse’s example, a lot more than her hands is revealed.

Requested by anon, you know who you are 😉 Thank you so much for placing a request and hope this fic fulfills the expectations you have for it.

“Hey!“ I greet the lobby as I finally hop into the Discord call after quickly saying ‘hi‘ to my audience.

I’ve been a YouTuber for four years now and I’ve only recently started streaming, encouraged to do so by my best friend Rae. She’s the one who got me in multiplayer games such as Among Us and Phasmophobia which led me to meet her amazing gaming squad that consists of some of the most famous names on the platform. They are all wonderful people and I will forever be in Rae’s debt for introducing me to them. However, becoming friends with Felix, Sean and the rest of the team brought not only a more fulfilled life, but also a small boost in following. Who am I kidding, it wasn’t small. It was overwhelming, terrifying even.

My YouTube channel had a little over a million subscribers at the start of quarantine and now....now it’s closer to three million. Speaking of three million, I’m about to reach it any day now and it’s really hard to believe. I’m a gaming youtuber and I’ve never considered changing my genre despite expecting to not get any attention whatsoever, with all the big names on the platform. I was convinced not even as many as a hundred people would stumble across my videos and now here we are.

My OG subscribers are very supportive of my sudden growth and are defending me when my newer fans ask for a face reveal or whatnot. While we’re on that topic I might have to mention that not even my YouTube friends, and that includes Rae have seen my face. I’ve been faceless and bodiless for the entirety of my time on social media. Some claim I do it to grab more attention or for dramatic effect, but the reason is beyond that. I’m not shallow. Actually, shallow people are the reason I don’t show my face. I’ve never been the prettiest, but my middle school bully thought that I wasn’t lacking self confidence enough. As a result, I ended up with a not so handsome scar on my right cheek that starts from the corner of my mouth and nearly misses my eye. Yeah, it’s a long and pretty noticeable scar that has thankfully become less and less obvious as the years have progressed. Still, it’s not something I’d like to show to my viewers.

Eight ‘hi’s greet me back, each making my smile grow wider. “Sorry I’m late guys. Technical difficulties.” 

“Don’t worry.“ Rae’s voice dominates over the rest, “Corpse still isn’t here so we’re waiting for him.“

I mute myself on the Discord call and take a look at my comments. I’m most flattered by the comments about my voice. Seeing as how they don’t have much to compliment about me other than my content, they make the nicest comments about my voice, personality and humor. Those comments are the ones who warm my heart most. Even when people in my day to day life compliment my appearance I can’t find it in me to believe they are being genuine. I’d like to believe these amazing people are being one hundred percent honest when they tell me they like me for who I am and not for what I might look like.

“Sorry I’m late guys.“ A deep voice causes me to even physically jolt, switching my focus from the comments to the Among Us lobby where my eyes land on the newly materialized black avatar.

“Hi Corpse.“ Rae greets him.

“Hello mister who broke Twitter!“ Sean laughs, provoking the laughter of the rest of the players.

“Yeah, congratulations man. That’s a big deal.“ Felix chimes in.

“Thanks guys, but I think you’re forgetting we’re talking about a picture of my hand.“ Corpse chuckles timidly. I have noticed how shy he gets when someone gives him a compliment - like a snail slowly withdrawing in its shell. I find it adorable.

“That’s what makes it even better!“ I unmute my mic, sending my own congratulations.

“While we’re on that topic...“ Rae begins, waiting for the rest of us to shut our traps, suggesting she has something important to say. “Y/N, do you ever plan on doing a reveal like that? Not a face reveal. Just a body part reveal.“

I have no problem talking about the subject with friends but I get nervous when I’m supposed to discuss it with my fans. Seeing as how everyone, including myself, is streaming right now, I get a bit of a stutter in my speech. “Haven’t thought about it yet. But I guess a body part reveal is harmless.” I cringe immediately after letting the words leave my mouth, “That sounds so weird.”

Rae knows that I’m not too fond of my face, but I haven’t told her about my scar yet. I let almost all people I’ve met online think I’m using my lack of appearance for effect. For the mystery of it all. Mysteries attract people which equals attention. Attention equals views and the domino effect continues.

“Just a suggestion. No pressure.“ Rae adds quickly, knowing full well I get anxious when the subject is brought up in front of cameras. “Let’s get this game started, shall we.”

                                                          * * *

The idea dwells in my mind, sitting on the back burner even after I disconnect from the Discord call. I’m sitting in my gaming chair, which was a gift for my two million milestone, and weighing out the pros and cons of the action Rae suggested I take.

“It’s a picture of your fucking hand, dummy. How bad can it turn out?“ I say out loud, shaking my head at my indecisiveness. “You’ll be fine.”

In a blur, two pictures are already posted on my Instagram. The first one captioned ‘Took a leaf from my friend’s book. Did I do it right @ corpsehusband?’ and the second ‘Thanks, Rae. These are on you.’

Rae’s POV

As I’m watching a movie in my living room, I get a notification from Instagram, informing me that Y/N has posted for the first time in a while.

I scoff, “More like the first time in forever.”

The first thing that comes to my mind is the possibility of her reaching that three million milestone that’s been long time coming. I bring the glass of water that’s sitting on my coffee table to my lips, taking a sip as I tap the notification. The picture I see makes me hurry to put the glass back down so I don’t drop it. Y/N’s hand. Her fingers are covered with several thin rings each. And here I thought Corpse had too many rings, this girl has at least two on every finger! 

Then my eyes land on the second picture she has posted only minutes after the first and my heart drops. I struggle to get the water that’s been sitting in my moth down my esophagus while my mind is struggling with the task to comprehend the picture I’m looking at. 

Another hand is resting on top of Y/N’s. A hand also covered in rings but fewer and larger. The nails are painted black. 

I think I know who it belongs to.

Before I can even finish the thought, I’m dialing Y/N. She picks up after the second ring, sound cheery as ever as she greets me. “Hey Rae!”

“Don’t you ‘Hey Rae’ me!” I practically scream. I hate being kept in the dark about anything ever so this is just driving me mad. On top of all, she’s my best friend, for fuck’s sake. “Is that Corpse in the photo with you?!”

“Ugh....“ the cheeriness to her voice is all but gone now.

I go on with my rant, not giving her the time to reply. Not that she would reply. I bet she doesn’t know what to say. “So he knows where you live?! Or was the picture taken at his place?! He knows what you look like?! You have seen him! He has seen you in real life but me, your best friend, haven’t!!! You are breaking Covid 19 protection laws to take pictures?! Are you fucking serious, Y/N?!”

There’s a long moment of silence which frustrates me even more but I literally have run out of things to yell and the power to be angry. I mean, I still am, I just can’t express it.

“Rae, sweetheart, please calm down. You’re scary when you’re mad.“ This girl has some fucking nerve! She’s on the verge of laughing!

“Listen here you...“ 

“Rae, please stop scaring my girlfriend.“ That oh so distinguishable, oh so familiar voice interrupts me.

I am flabbergasted, for a lack of a better term.

“Now that we’ve got you quiet, I can explain.“ Y/N pics up the conversation, “Corpse and I have been dating for six, almost seven months now. We started dating around Easter after talking for quite some time. We moved in together at the end of September. All thanks to you, Rae. You’re the best.” She pauses to breathe in real quick, “There, all caught up?“

I’m in no less shock than I was before she explained. Actually, I think I might be even more confused now. It all just feels like a fever dream. “Yes...no. I don’t fucking know! I need details, Y/N!”

“Details later.“ Corpse makes his presence known once again, “We’re watching Family Guy right now. Talk to you later.“

“Love you, Rae!“ Y/N calls out before the line goes dead.

My arm goes limp, dropping my phone on the couch next to me. 

“Motherfuckers” I mumble under my breath.

Y/N’s POV

It’s been a week since Rae has stopped talking to both Corpse and me. I know she just needs some time to cool off. In the meantime, the rest of our friends were informed and, as oppose to Rae, were nothing but supportive and overjoyed. I bet Rae feels the same way though. Sean, Dave and the rest of the gang have confirmed that she’s incredibly happy for us and says she noticed a spark between me and him since day one, but she can’t help but be mad at us, and especially me, for not telling her sooner.

“Any regrets?“ I remember Corpse asking me when we hung up on her after dropping the bomb.

“Not being able to see her face when she saw the picture.“ I beam at him, feeling as content as ever.

He laughs, agreeing with me before leaning down to kiss me.

@susceptible-but-siriusexual  @simonsbluee  @save-the-sky  @hacker-ghost  @itsminniekat  @bi-andready-tocry  @imtiredaffff  @jazzkaurtheglorious  @hereforbeebo  @fandomgirl17  @chrysanthykios

[rumblelibrary]

Back at it again with mysterious anon,

Could I request some Niki angst? You've done one where the reader cheats on James to be with Niki so maybe reader cheats on Niki with James 👀

Muted [Niki Lauda x Reader]

Word count: 2k

Warnings: angst

A/N: This one makes no sense, I just wanted to break my own heart. Little narration, a lot of feelings.

Niki wished to be able to tear his ears off when he heard James sweet talk to you after a pre-season testing. He whispered sweet nothings to you, telling you how he would sweep you off your feet, bring you away to his house in England.

Then things got heated, he started mentioning how he wished to do you this and that. He didn't need to be specific with his words, Niki could easily understand the situation by how y didn't even flinch or tried to deny yourself.

He knew you, he knew you too well.

With him you have always been protective, jealous, proud of your relationship and there was only one way he could imagine you giving in.

You already gave up. He already lost you before that very moment, you slipped through his fingers like water through wood, following every curve and every wrinkle, weakening it from the outside until you got to the inside, opening it up, exposing it.

His jaw clenched, he pulled his cap over his eyes as he marched away.

There was no time to regret, no time to think twice, he had only one thing to do.

Throw the soaked wood away.

You were speechless the moment you came home to find your stuff already dislocated outside the door, your keys completely useless in the brand new locker.

Very Niki: efficient, resolute and without looking back.

You knocked at the door, you waited but there was no answer.

Your eyes darted down onto the simple and effective doormat you brought, or was it already there when you moved in? As you wondered why it had to end like this, you didn't even act surprised, you knew perfectly what you did and you took full responsibility over your actions.

You were no saint in this situation and maybe it was bold of you to just expect confrontation from Niki.

You considered to just leave, even if pained you to go like that, but you were temporary bruiselessp, you knew actions weren’t the most painful weapon in Niki’s arsenal, it was his cut throat way of speaking and in particular when it came to you.

Before you could have the time to realise that it wasn’t a punishment but a chance the door opened. Wild curls and beaming eyes, simple home clothing and steady hands.

He was everything you ever wanted and all you could never achieve.

“Niki” you murmured as you looked at him “Listen”

He looked at you eyebrows up “Oh, no I think I heard enough today between you and Hunt”

“No, no, now you’ll listen”

You paced inside the house quickly to stand in front of him, a visible frown over

your features.

Don’t do it, you ket telling yourself, just leave, just go, don’t confront him, you can’t win.

He was right, you cheated but it was’t pure lust, it wasn’t like you enjoyed to hurt him and hadn’t felt a single beat of guilt, you just wanted him to know that.

“Tell me the truth, were you even serious with me?”

You asked him and the question made him cringe.

“Like what? The doubt made you wish to make sure you will always have a bed to sleep into? We lived together, sounds pretty serious to me, evident if you apply a bit of brain power in it”

You frowned as he was hurt and he was attacking you but he saw you wanted to talk and he smirked shaking his head “What are you doing? Finding a way to put the blame on me?”

“I just want to talk Niki” you groaned but he rolled his eyes

“No, you just want to tell me why you did it”

He was stone cold, maybe you hoped he’d react somehow, maybe a bit, maybe just a bit. And now he was just humiliating you even more. No matter the pain of being cheated on, he wouldn’t let you win that either.

In that moment you realised that your gut feeling was right, you should have just disappeared.

“Go on, how bad can I have been to make you decide it was better to fuck James Hunt?”

“You never cared about me”

It was dry as an answer, you hated yourself forn ot being able to express all you went through now that it was the time, his eyebrows shot up in disbelief and a bit of

sassiness. He was mocking you.

“Didn’t I?”

“No, not when you’re constantly dismissing me, telling me anything I say it is stupid or judging anything I do from your superior being. Anything I did was poorly done, or not the right moment or just not enough for you”

“You’re not stupid, but clearly you need to see everything through your heart shaped eyeglasses, right? You need confirms and words and speeches and big excitement. Well, go play the princess somewhere else, what I offered you will be the only true relationship you’ll ever have, and you know it. I never lied to you, I never cheated on you, I tried to better somebody that liked to stay as she is, that’s my only fault”

“I didn’t want to be somebody else, I just wanted you to care about something, anything that was not your job”

“So fucking around was a better choice to keep your ego up”

“No, but at least somebody would gave a fuck about me”

You snapped back immediately to him, you couldn’t remember the last time

you and Niki had sex, maybe a little shag in the middle of the night but it

felt more like trying to get rid of the tension to fall asleep.

He rolled his eyes like little he cared, his hands opening like you just stated what you had to do:get the fuck out.

That always hurt you: the fact that whenever he seemed driven to you, he would pull you into amazing kisses and heated love sessions but always at his time, his desires. If you ever leaned to kiss his neck or reach for him when he was busy or doing something more important, which was most of the times, he would shrug you off, literally closing the space between his neck and shoulder, stretching his back to get you away.

Not now.

Stop it.

Don't be like this.

You really aren’t good at picking timings, are you?

Those words hunted you day by day, you felt like he didn't need you, like anything you did was wrong, flawed, helplessly meant to annoy him one way or another.

You always seemed to organise dates in the wrong days, to wish to stay lazy at home on the wrong day, to pick the wrong moment, the wrong occasion, the wrong words, the wrong topic.

There were times you even woke up with him, you would sit at the breakfast table with him, not knowing if to engage a conversation or just trying to show him your support. You just wanted to see him even if you didn’t know if he would stay outside for the night or leave for some business meeting or whatnot.

But it was never worth it, it was never enough.

Every time you engaged him for confirms or any kind of formal commitment you always were out of place, out of time.

Your touches denied, no sweet words for your ears. You felt like a shadow beside him, you weren't there for the good and neither fo the bad. You weren't into his thoughts and not even into his hopes.

You grew detached from him, angry, you wished to hurt him even though every time you found yourself staring in his eyes you felt bubbles in your stomach and an happy feeling. A voice in your chest telling you how much you cared, how dear he was to you.

And yet , no fondness was reserved to you, no tender touches or gentle words.

It was just the bare minimum of a relationship.

So it felt natural, terribly natural that when somebody, it was James but you know anyone could have worked it out, gave you the backhand of attention you felt loved and blessed. Did your heart flutter when you saw him? Probably not, but he held your hand, he wanted to spend time with you, he stayed in bed after sex with you, he held you and not just dealt with you. You didn’t feel dumb every second of your day with him.

Because that's how Niki made you feel.

Like you were a burden and you'd gladly relieve him now from that, even if you never wished for it to happen this way.

Not reducing it all to the unstoppable drive of sex, your pain was discarded, once more.

You probably deserved it, you got it in the moment you admitted your weakness to him, the moment you slipped into some other man’s bed instead of facing him.

Or maybe, admit it, maybe you just hoped that he would lose control.

Just once, just one time he would have to put the rest aside and focus only on you.

"Now that you wasted some more of my time" he held the door open and waited.

You felt anger and sadness mixed up, the realisation that even now you couldn't win against him.

You'd never get your point across, you will just be the cheater and he would be right.

The loud slam followed your exit as your eyes dropped onto the couple of luggages belonging to you, all your stuff. You never realised it was so little.

You didn't feel like seeing James, let out friends and family that will give you random hypocritical phrases to cheer you up.

Maybe you'll go to an hotel, maybe you'll just leave.

You wished to change your name, change yourself.

The instinctive thought that crossed your mind made you gag, because for a moment, just a random malicious moment, you imagined how beautiful it could be to start from the beginning with Niki.

And maybe you won't do the same mistakes, maybe you'd be better.

James told you many times that you didn't have a reason to feel less than Niki, but the truth was that after hearing to be wrong, do wrong and act wrong, you begun to believe it.

And as you dragged your stuff t the car and drove off you begun wondering what life could be without Niki and while watching you and your little suitcases he wondered why you have such a small amount of things. He wondered if you have always looked so frail, he wondered if there will ever be an after you.

Or maybe, all hope was leaving with you, you were his Pandora’s box, a box full of all the feelings he prohibited himself to distract him and the hope was leaving with you, hidden tightly in the perfect cage of your chest.

Far from him, safer.

Tagged @cazzyimagines @lieutenantn @handmaiden-of-mischief @thesunflowersutra @zemomybeloved @fictionlandslanddreams@charistory @greeneyedblondie44 @apparrio @hb8301 @whatawildone @rhymerhymerhyme  @thehuiabird @lilith-blackrose @unbeatablecurlgirl @obsidianlaszlo @alindeluce @zemosimp05 @baronesszemo-blackwood @nocapesdahling @everythingbeginsineternity-blog

[thinkingoutlouddblog]

Harry Fic Recs #3

It has been far too long since I have done one of these posts, especially considering how many amazing fics I have read between now and my last recommendation post. There are definitely fics I will miss and this is a reflection only on my memory and probably how long ago I read them. There is a plethora of truly exceptional works on tumblr, each of them requiring huge amounts of effort to be delivered to us as readers cost free so please please take the time to thank writers for fics you love, and at the very least give them a like (and a reblog, we love those too!).

Without further ado, I present fics that I adore!

First of all, a couple fanfictions from Wattpad because I have finally started reading fics from there for the first time since 2014. If you like me didn’t cross over to wattpad, I recommend you do so for these fics in particular. 

Stall by @/MysteryMixtapes - a lot of people reading this list probably think this is an obvious one but I had honestly never even heard of any wattpad fics until the end of last year so there might be someone else in the same boat as me. This is nice and long, dark but also very fun and humorous at times. It is the best of both worlds in a lot of ways. You get to see dark and gritty mob!H but also some very sweet moments. The writing is outstanding, some of the absolute best that is around in fanfiction anywhere today. I don’t want to give too much away, so just believe me when I say this is a must read.

Aerial by @/peanutboyfriend - this story is simply gorgeous down to its every detail. Set in 60s Malibu, this story follows Harry and an original main character who have been thrown together as aerial performers in the circus. This book throws you into a perfectly crafted world that is simply beautiful. I often found myself wanting to step right in. It is slow burn, full of tension, twists, sickly sweet moments and also angst.

!Kinda spoilers! What these two books have in common is what I believe to be an accurate depiction of navigating a romantic relationship and the ups and downs of trying to create a healthy dynamic, and often having to get things very wrong before you get them right.

Now back to my tumblr fam! I am going to list first the user and then their fics that I recommend in particular, but I honestly recommend everything on these lovely people’s masterlists.

@moonchildstyles

Aster - absolutely stunning tattoo artist!h fic, I could say so much but I don’t want to give too much away. But we start with y/n starting to make her own way in the world when she meets Harry, who is a bit of a dick to her even though she has a crush on him. The main character is so sweet in this, and it is all so beautifully written, I loved every word.

Chiaroscuro - suuuuuuuch an addictive vampire!h fic. My only qualm with this series is that it was not longer because I could honestly read about this little world forever. We start with y/n on the job hunt when she stumbles upon a live in house keeper position. Niall, who is handling the hiring for his friend, is lovely but something doesn’t seem quite right with this beautiful home or its handsome owner. 

@jawllines

Harry hates the other camp counselors and Y/N is very optimistic - this fic was so freaking sweet, a lovely bit of protective!h, squishable reader and just a fun vibe. All of her fics are really nice and long, and build beautiful worlds which you could practically step inside.

Here is her masterlist because all her writing is fabulous, all her stories are so original, well-written and gripping. I could sit her and list ten different stories I could just cut out the middle man and send you straight to her masterlist because you won’t find a single story on there you won’t love.

@sunflowervolvimp3 + @adashofniallandasprinkleoflunacy

You’re Someone I Just Want Around - I actually don’t have the vocabulary to express how much I am loving this story. These two lovelies are writing this gorgeous vamp!h fic together. They are serving slow burn, friends with benefits, secretly a vampire Harry with a dark past, who is, of course, in denial of his own feelings. This story is so fun, sexy and sweet, I am loving every moment and can’t wait to see what happens next. 

Both these lovely authors do some of my favourite tropes and aus in their solo writings so I am just going to say check out both of their masterlists (sunflower...) and (adashof...)

@angelisverba

Thinkin’ Bout You - holy fucking shitballs I can’t recommend this enough. This is about Florist!H who is a total freaking sweetie and has a giant crush on one of his new customers. The character creation was gorgeous, and every word painted the prettiest picture of this little world. Simply lovely, from start to finish.

@havethetimeofyourstyles 

Say It - sparks fly in the restaurant when Harry is assigned to show the new waitress the ropes. I adored this fic, it has that perfect blend of angst and freshly blooming romance (and also got a little bit saucy which we all love to see). Gorgeous fic, I cannot recommend it enough.

Pebbles and the Scarecrow - this fic had me absolutely squealing over how cute it was. I love halloween!harry. I love dad!harry. The two together, especially executed so well just melts my brain. This was actually unbearably cute. Co-ordinated costumes. Teacher!harry. Need I say more stop reading me talking about and go read it right now.

@majorharry

Fairies First - the absolute sweetest dad to be!h and pregnant!reader. Super cute and so well written, as is every fic on her masterlist. Read them all but also here are some more of my personal faves

The Thrill of the Chase - I literally read this first thing this morning when I woke up and saw it had been posted and I adore it! We have hunter!harry which is a trope I feel like you never see but based on this fic alone, I am obsessed. It’s a lowkey cottagecore vibe so if that’s what you’re into, you will love it.

@harry-writings​ 

Drive Me Wild - in which harry has trouble expressing emotions and reader talks too much. Okay I was so obsessed with this fic and could read a full length book of this au. Quiet!h and super chatty!yn are the cutest combination and the angst hurts so good my god. But also the fluff warms my soul.

The Mute Series - where Harry doesn’t talk and falls in love with y/n. I think I’ve read this fic at least three times. We have mute!harry, college!harry, and just overall sweet, shy lovely, Harry. This fic is gorgeous, it tugs on your heartstrings so aggressively and I just love it to pieces. 

Once again, these are some of my favourite writers on tumblr, and these are simply some of my favourites of all their works and I recommend going through their whole masterlists. 

[machinegunbun]

UnConventional Bakers [Pete]

Requested? no

word count? 1.7k

TW? None

A/n: it’s like 80% dialogue bc it’s supposed to be a tv show. whadder ya gonna do

The props department did a wonderful job this season, comedy inspired props sprinkled about the set. Mic stands ended in lollipops, rice krispy stools covered in modeling chocolate, Comedians stood at every station, patiently awaiting directions. 

Conventional Bakers was finally ready for shooting its first season. It was a show about famous people coming together on a baking show and competing. It would have everyone from singers to actors or, in this case, comedians. Every season would be inspired by the careers of the people competing.

“On this season of UnConventional Bakers we are joined by,” the camera took turns panning to each comedian as you said their name. 

“Kevin Hart, Pete Davidson, Adam Sandler and…” you paused for dramatic effect “Fluffy!!!”

The comedians protest coming fast after 

Why’d he get all the excitement?” Adam asks

“Yeah, i’m literally your fiance what the fuck.” Pete adds, laughing “I don’t like that, i don’t like that shit. I got my eye on you Gabriel.”

“Don’t hate me cause I'm beautiful.” Fluffy replies

“Bakers! Comedians, whatever,” you call out, trying to regain their attention, Pete playfully mumbled but returned his attention “if you want a chance at winning you will have to pay attention.”

“Got it, go. No wait… yeah okay, go.” Adam interrupts, causing you to bite back a smile. This would be a long shoot

“For tonight's challenge, you’re in for a treat. Because it’s only the first round, we’ll take it easy on you and allow teams.” muted murmurs fell over the room as they decided who would be on whose team, “Tonight we will be making the one thing a comedian couldn’t live without.” Your co-star, Nicole Byers, continues.

“Weed.” Pete guesses,

“No, their audience.”

“Oh, speak for yourself.” 

“You will be making your very own audience cupcakes. When we say go you will head to your baking stations where you will find step by step instructions on how to make your audience, along with photo references and the clock will begin counting down.” You say

“Go, go, go! What are you waiting for?!” Nicole rushes, you take your seat as they make their way to the respective stations. The teams ended up being Pete and Kevin, Gabe and Adam.

Things were going pretty smoothly, the comedians racing back and forth from the ingredients to their stations as things began starting up. As you look around, you see Pete and Kevin looking confused as they stare at the instructions.

“Something wrong, sweety?” you ask

“No, all good over here. Thanks for asking.” Gabe pipes up, you laugh and make your way over to Pete

“Huh? Oh, yeah. I shouldn’t have dropped out of college.”

“How come? What's wrong?”

“I need ⅔   a cup, but there’s not a ⅔  measurement cup.” he says

“Well, if you need ⅔  but there's not one, you just take two--” 

“Don’t patronize me. I got it.” Kevin cuts you off in the middle of explaining, grabbing two handfuls of flour and throwing it in the mixer “There, that should work.” 

You sigh, making your way over to the other stations to check on how everyone else was doing. Adam was doing well, which wasn’t a surprise considering he’s a father and probably does some baking at home.

“Gabe, how are you doing?” 

“Not good, I’m used to eating cake and not making it.”

“Oh hush, you’re doing fine!” You encourage, leaning forward to whisper to him “Kevin just measured flour with his hands, so I think you’ll be okay.”

“Guys, I think they’re talking about you.” Adam yells

“Yeah, I know.” Pete laughs.

“That's okay, cause you know what? Haters gonna hate.” Kevin yells

After making your rounds you sat back down, turning to face a laughing Nicole.

“That wasn’t sugar, that was salt.” She barely squeaks out “They’re gonna be so gross” you nod and laugh along, all but excited for the dishes that would soon be in front of you.

“On that note, can we get some water?” You call out to the team behind you

“And a medic?” Nicole adds

“And a mathematician. You understand this shit?” Pete says

“What? Basic measurements? Yeah baby, I do.” 

Before you knew it the timer had gone off and the cupcakes were sat in front of you. 

“So, these are what your audience were supposed to look like, and this is what they do look like.” Nicole says, vaguely gesturing to the cupcakes

“We- we uh, we took some creative liberties.” Pete says through a laugh

“Well, let’s see what it tastes like.” you say, grabbing one from the crowd and cheersing it with Nicole’s

“Might as well get this over with.” she says, making a clink noise with her mouth, as she does there's another noise too. The rock hard exteriors made a clunk noise. Your jaw dropped as you made eye contact with Nicole, not believing what had just happened

“Wait.” you say, grabbing another and throwing it at the ground with all the force you could muster. It cracked directly in half, crumbs flying across the floor.

“Pete!” you yell, an amused smile painted across your face. Pete laughs, covering his face 

“I have no idea what happened.”he says, picking up the cupcake from the floor

“This is my passion, how did you fuck up this hard?!”

“I have no fucking idea.” he laughs, crumbling it up in his hand.

“I guess we still have to taste it.” you say, grabbing another and cracking a piece off on the table, handing one to Nicole. When you bite down there's an audible crunch that makes everyone in the room wince. You can’t help the expression that overcomes your face as the taste hits your tongue, looking over to Nicole to confirm it wasn’t just you. It wasn’t.

You attempt to open your water, your hand slipping again and again until Pete walks over and opens it for you, feeding you the water as he apologizes through his laughter. It took you a minute of held back gags to recompose yourself, but when you finally did you said,

“Your BLEEP is sweeter than this.” You say, deeply preferring it over the burnt, salty, crunchy thing in front of you.

“Really?” Pete asks, laughing and when you nod your head it only makes him laugh harder.

“Pete, you fucked up Pete.” Kevin says. 

“Dont throw this on him, you’re the one who wouldn’t listen.” You say, looking over to Nicole who had resorted to licking the icing off the cupcake

“Look at what you’ve done to this poor lady. You should be ashamed. It’s gotta be a zero from me” You laugh, more than ready to move on.

“You know what, the icing wasn’t bad,” They began to fight over who had made the icing. “I don’t care, just promise to never do that again. Adam, Gabe, before I take a bite you have to promise me it won’t be like that.” Nicole says, dead serious. They shake their head, letting out little reassurances while choking down their laughter. You take a deep breath before lifting the cupcake to your mouth and taking a small test bite, surely traumatized. 

To your delight, it was actually very good. You smiled and nodded, taking another bite as Kevin and Pete groaned, knowing they’d surely lost.

“I feel like theirs was so bad we can’t even celebrate.” Adam says.

“Yeah, i don’t think we need to add insult to injury by announcing the winners of this round. On to the next?!” You cheer, preparing to announce what would come next.

“For your next challenge, we will be making cupriphon- cupcakeriphones- Okay, the name hasn’t been completely sorted out yet, cupcake microphones!” You announce

“Yes! And because we felt bad for the loser, that’s just in the script so i had to say it, i don’t actually feel bad for you that was disgusting. Because we felt bad for the loser, we decided to give them a leg up. If you look at the stations, two of them have buttons. They’re called the happy heckler buttons and when you press them a timer will be set and either Y/N or myself will go yell encouragement to your teammates until it goes off.” Nicole says

“Awhh, so sweet. Ready? Set? Go!” You yell, watching them scatter to try to find a station.

“Ay, stay back this is mine.” Fluffy says to Adam, haphazardly wielding a knife, momentarily fighting over a station before Nicole reminds them the timer is counting down. They take a look at their ingredients before rushing over to the storage space and grabbing what they need.

You’d managed to get to the decorating stage with little to no issues when you hear Kevin yelling, “Pete! I need your help, I need those long legs pete.” straining to grab something from the top shelf

“Hold on, one second.” He says, glancing back momentarily as he tried to finish decorating.

“Oh shit, you’re already decorating?” Kevin asks as Pete hands him what he needed before walking back to his station.

“Yeah, catch up.” Pete says

“Okay, i’ll catch up, if that's what you want.” Kevin says, slamming his button down in a melodramatic act of sabotage.

Nicole yells in excitement, ready for some action, running over to distract Pete.

“You dick! I thought we were friends.” he says, slamming his own button. You run over, making sure to get in Kevins face as you encourage him, giving him slaps on the back and shaking his shoulders. Things had gotten very chaotic, very fast.

When the four minutes were over you left Kevin’s station for Pete’s, hanging out with him as his cupcakes cooked in the oven. He was bent over in a hug with you, small kisses being pressed to each others lips.

“Doing so good baby.” you mumble, fingers tangled in his hair. Usually you didn’t like PDA, but you had made an exception today because it had been a long shoot and you missed him.

“Way better than last time.” He confirms, remembering last time they had burnt and opting to check the oven.

“Look at that! This aint fair, Pete’s sleepin with the judges!” Kevin yells, making everyone laugh

“You could be too, Kevin.” Nicole winks

“Nicole, you’re both married.” You remind them

“Hey, that's show business baby.” Kevin jokes

When it all came to an end, Adam ended up winning and it was a surprise.. To no one. He was the only one even kind of equipped to win and he rode that all the way to the finish line.

[bronwiebear-brad]

Somebody to you - 1/3.

Warnings: this fictional story will include mature content, language, and themes including but not limited to violence and nsfw content. Storie line before covid. The male lead bears no likeness to the real Brad Simpson apart from PHYSICAL APPEARANCE. Please if you’re not confortable with this type of content, do NOT read. You were advised.

A/N: this is my first time writing stuff this big, sorry in advance if you find any mistake and thank you for supporting. Also this was supposed to leave early but tumblr wasn't posting, so sorry for that. Lots of love x.

Wet curls staining the pillow on your lap, as your fingers delicately undid the knots. The television was muted and the only audible sound in the appartment was the calm breaths that came out of his mouth, peacefully sleeping. The small cuts over his eyebrow and nose caught your attention as they started to turn purple. Your mind running along the possible scenarios you've heard from him about what really happened to leave him in this state all beaten up. They were playing over and over again, leaving you awake and wondering what you got yourself into.

The day you moved into your apartment you knew life would change for the best. Third year of college and you've managed to find a nice paid internship. Sure it wasn't the ultimate dream job but helped you paid your bills and live a pretty decent city life out of that crowded university dorm. You got your three girl friends helping you with the boxes the next days in exchange of paid dinner and wine and the night was spent with gossiping and laughing. Not until your friend Jo got glued to the front door of the apartment on her way to get the pizzas, peering through the monocle as she stood on her toes. The rest of the group, Steph and Lizzie, tryed to peek tru the same hole bumping on each other and arguing to be the first to watch the pretty heated make out session in the hallway. 

"Oh that must be my next door neighbour. Brad." You simple said walking back into the living room that was also the kitchen and your work space, since the house was not that big. The three girls following you intrigued and excited to know more about the misterious boy who was literally eating some girl face agaisnt his front door. 

"Just my next door neighbour?" Steph asked taking her previous spot at the couch. 

"He's ...exciting." Jo was the most interested about the boy asking you more details. The other girls gasp excited sitting on the floor ready to listen more about this guy.

"I know his name because the girls he brings home almost everynight shout pretty loud. Just in luck his bedroom is in the oposite wall of my bed." You explained rolling your eyes and the face of the three girls lit up, giggling and begging for more gossip. You’ve met him a few times when he held the front door only exchanging Good Mornins or Good Nights in that thick accent of his that you couldn’t figure out yet. Little they knew that later that night after everyone went home and you stood on the couch trying to get some work done on your computer and got disturbed by loud music and people talking that you got the courage to actually knock on his door. 

“Are you the stripper?”“ A blonde guy with short hair opened the door. He looked at you from head to toe leaving you unconfortable and frowned, a plastic cup on his hand. “Kinda basic if you ask me but you’re cute” He said to someone else inside the house and a few guys laughed. Your cheeks turned red and you tought about aborting the mission.

“I’m not a stripper.” You told him quietly and he laughed loud making you cringe. You weren’t sure anymore if this was a good idea but it was late now. “I’m searching for Brad, please.” 

“Go find him.” The boy rolled his eyes and disapeared out of your sight. He left the front door open and you took your chance to come in. The music got louder and you were pretty sure the neighbours would soon complain. The smell of cigarettes and alcohol made you crunch your nose and besides the people dancing, talking and playing poker by the dinner table, you notice a few smoking some weird stuff. That place look like a frat house and you really wanted to leave as soon as possible.

You noticed him when you got into the kitchen were he was preparing some drinks. His eyes never left his task. You took a change to have a propper look at him and see what the girls were so fuss about. His hair was nicely brushed back and he was wearing some black jeans and a clean white tshirt. His hands worked on the glasses making you notice his rings and how muscular he was. He wasnt that much fit but his body had a nice shape. His cheeks were rosy and the way he trapped his bottom lip between his teeth concentrated made you realise that he was pretty. He was actually very handsome.

 “Are you going to talk or what?” He sounded playfull and sarcastic. When you look at his face after jumping on your spot he was looking directly to you, smiling.

“Hm y-yeah. I-”. You tried to talk but got embarassed for being caught checking him out. Your cheeks started to blush and you hated yourself for that. You were suposed to act mad and cold to complain about the noise that was disturbing your work session.

“Nice pants.” He laughed pointing at your pijama pants. You blushed even more and condemned yourself for not exchanging clothes before leaving the house. When your eyes crossed again you were about to explode. His glance was so intense that he left you with a cold sensation on your belly. Also the wine you took previously was starting to leave your system and the courage too.  

“Thanks.” You displayed a small smile and he blinked at you.

“Anytime. Did you come for the party?” He asked before taking a shot. Your eyes followed his moves and how he placed the glass carefuly back on the table. “Here, have one shot.". He offered you a glass and you were ready to refuse.

“ No and no. I’m here because of the noise actually.”  You said bitting your cheek and expecting him to brust out. Instead he just smiled widely and took the shot he held in his hand.

“Of course." He said sarcastically after passing by you and leaving you alone in the kitchen. You stood there a few seconds in disbelief. Is this guy for real? You tought to yourself.

“What-what do you mean?” You followed him as he passed thru the people and handed them the shots.

“I mean of course you’re here for the noise.” He didn’t bother looking at you. 

“So you’re aware you’re bothering other people” You said frowning. This guy was an assole after all. Predictable. He stop walking and turned to you, smirking.

“Darling, don’t you like to listen good music?” He asked closer to you, due to music.The nickname caught you by surprise. 

“Yeah but-” You tried to explain but he interrupted.

“So you’re welcome” He laughed. His breatth tickling your ear. “Now, have a shot. Please, cortesy of the house.” He grabbed your hand and made you grab the last shot. His hand was still touching yours as you got lost in his boyish smile. Skin on fire and your heartbeat raced as you notice a good song playing in the background. 

“On three, let’s go.”  He started to count, a bottle of beer on his hand that he grabbed from the table while he made eye contact with you. You didn’t knew what got into you because when the count got to an end you took the shot. The green liquid burning your troat and making you frown and cough hard. “Easy, easy take a sip. It’ll ease the burn.” He offered his own beer, raising himself the bottle for you to drink while one hand caressed smothly your back. Your eyes lock on his and he smiled at your red cheeks. 

“Thank you.” You said bitting your lip. This was all so overwhelming and new that you got embarrassed. “I should get going.” You pointed to the door and got ready to leave. 

“I’m (y/n).” You shook his hand and for a minute you both stood in the middle of the living room in silence, skins touching. 

“Wait.” He prevented you from leaving. “I don’t think I know your name. I’m Brad.” He raised an eyebrow and offered his hand to shake. You look at his hand on the air and his face. Should you grab his hand again? You were still recovering from the interaction that happen seconds ago.

Oh fuck it.

It was hard to leave after that but it felt like you ran your way into your apartment. Locking the door behind you and leaning agaisnt it with a goofly smile recovering. 

“So, I’ll see you around, darling.” He said smiling and squeezing your hand slighly.

That nickname again...

The bloody and wounded lower lip, which had begun to swell, contrasted the shape of the curves of his smile. He should smile more. You tought getting a memory of him smiling directly at you in a previous occasion. The smell of soap from the clean clothes you gave him to change invaded your senses and made you  get out of the couch carefully not to wake him. The mess on the bathroom floor caught your attention and since sleep had long been interrupted you decided to clean it up.

As you rub the little drops of blood from the floor tiles you couldn't stop reliving the previous events. The more it went on inside your brain the intensity of the rubbing increased...

A big tud came from the front door. Someone knocking violently and desperately. Making your immediately wake up and get up from the bed.. 

“It's me, open up!". You heard your name being called behind the door. The familiar voice made you open the door in a glance. A tall boy with a mix blond-pink dyed hair and a pierced nose looked surprised that you really opened the door at such hours. It was a long time since the last time you saw him, he sure was diferent. Not leaving you time to ask what he was doing or what was happening he talked frenetic. "It's Brad. He's...". His expression changed intensively and that scared you, even more than before. "He just wants to see you. Keeps saying your name over and over. So I brought him here. I know he doesn't live here anymore but he insisted." He pointed to the stairs and you notice the shade of someone sitting on them. "I hope you don’t mind. I know what happened between you two but". You dind’t had time to process what was happening but he kept explaining. "He's pretty hammered. It's bad." Tris indicated as soon as you passed the front door and headed the familiar shape. Him following you closely.

This wasn't the first time you took care of drunken Brad. A few times during your somehow relation and after heated arguments when he showed up at your door begging and causing a scene. So this wasn't new. You tought to yourself getting angry.

Grunts of pain and curses could be heard in the hall and when you came across the scene your heart sank. There he was sitting on the floor leaning against the wall and clinging to the right side of his ribs. His white shirt stained with drops of blood that you didn’t know if it was his or from others. An almost empty bottle was placed on the floor beside him. He looked in bad shape. Dark spots under his eyes and bigger hair. Reminding you that uncountable times when you asked him to let his hair grow and he would just laughed it off saying he liked it short.

"Oh hey beautifull.." He called you as soon as he saw you. His voice was hoarse and shaky and with a hint of surprise that you were really there. Mixed feelings as he looked at your intire body. He still got an effect on you after 2 months.

"What happened Brad?." You asked cold, kneeling down next to his legs to watch the cuts carefully. Your hands were shaking with nervousness and fear but you tried to hide them in your pockets. Your eyes darting to his hands and seeing purple marks on the knots. Indicating what you fear the most, he was fighting again.

“I broke the asshole into fucking pieces!” He said proudly, his voice echoing in the hall. His breath smelled like alcohol and that made you put the pieces together. He was completely drunk to the point where he couldn't even keep his eyes open or walk properly. “The sucker thought he took me for granted.” He kept talking, his voice was angrier remembering the events. “Nobody fucks with Brad.” He grabbed the bottle and brought it to his mouth drinking what was left of it. When he took it out of his mouth he looked at you smirking. “But not you, angel.” The nickname made your stomach turn. “You can fuck me anytime." He started laughing but stopped right away when his ribs started to hurt.

"Alright let's get you inside." You said moving to help him out of the stairs and preventing the neighbors to call the police about the noise since it was 4 am. Tristan helped you by grabing his left arm while you stood on the right. Loud curses left Brad's mouth as he was obligated to move and somehow walk a few meters until your apartment and into the bathroom.

You turned to Tristan who had a serious expression on his face asking what had happened. He seemed quiet and you assumed he was probably drunk too but at least he was controlling it.

“He fucked up”. Tristan gesture you. “We where at Urban’s pub downtown when Marcus came in with his shitty gang. We had a few bottles already and-” He was interrupted by a loud grount from Brad.

“Tris, shut up” Brad warned his friend with a deadly glare.

“Keep going, Tristan.". You demand to the blonde boy and ignoring the brunette. At this point you just wanted to know how he got into this mess. You took a quick glance to the drunken boy who settled himself on the bathroom floor, back into the tub tiles. A thin line of blood coming out of his nose.

“They came out hard, unnoticed, starting to-” Tristan got interrupted again. This time aggressively.

“Shut the fuck up, asshole!” Brad shout from the floor and his angry voice made you jump. How can someone change so fast from giggly drunk to angry in matter of seconds.

“Mate, she needs to know!” Tristan protested. “Look at your fucking state, you probably need to get to the hospital".

“And you need to get the fuck out!” He pointed to the door. "Leave Tris, I don't need you anymore". He demanded and the blonde looked at you searching for an answer. You stood quiet looking at the interaction not knowing what to say. "Just fucking leave already."

“I..I will get first aid it’s... uh it’s in my kitchen.” You weren't ready to be left alone with him. It all becoming to real and scary. Tristan followed you outside and gave you a apologetic smile before heading out. Telling you to call him if you needed anything and apologizing his friend stubborn ass.

Back into the bathroom you knelled down closer to the boy and opened the aid. Nether of you exchanging words as you took out a few dressings and bandages. Him watching you closely as put some scar cleaning into one of the dressings and handed it to him. His fingers brushed yours slightly making you nervous.

"You might need to get to the hospital." You simple said looking at his face.

“No. I don’t.” He grunted as his hand move to his face to clean himself. The strong pain on his side stopped him and made him cry in pain.

 "Here." You offered your help as you took the dressing out of his hand and carefully applyied it on his eyebrow. Your face coming closer to his. He was looking at you and licked his lips You could feel his hot breath on your face, intoxicating you and making you more and more nervous.

"Don’t be nervous”. It was surprising that he still managed to know you so damn well. He grabbed your hands and that action made you soften a lil. His eyes were less darker than before.

"Are you going to tell me what happened?" You asked.

"No." His answer made your roll your eyes. Unbelievable this guy was the same after all. “Your hair looks diferent.” He changed the subject but you ignored. 

"I’m going to take your shirt off I want to see your ribs. It might be broken." You demand getting far from him. You were starting to get annoyed by the fact he wasn’t helping you to help him.

"How do you know all of this?" He asked curious while you grabbed the end of the tshirt and lifted it slowly. His necklace falling into his tanned chest and your heart softed seing the silver object still on him.

"My cousin made the whole family took a first-aid course when she was pregnant." You explained analizing his right side. “Doesn’t look broken but i’m going to bind it with plasters to relieve your pain and for you to move better.”.

“Thank you, (y/n).” He tried to grab your hand but you were fast enought to move. “Ouch.” He played offended by your reaction.

“I don’t think you’re in the position of acting offended here.” You weren’t making eye contact with him and that pissed him.

“Look I know I fucked up. I fucked up good. I really did. But here you are helping me. That’s got to mean something.” He said an hint of hope in his voice making you stop what you were doing and look at him frowning. 

“You came into my work and beat my colleague just because he was texting me.” 

“I didn’t beat him.” 

“You’ve threaten him. Agressively.” 

“That’s not beating.” 

“That’s violence.” He stood silent. You knew you had win this one so you continued. “You knew how I felt about you being like that and you ignore it. You didn’t trust me after I told you I didn’t cared. I cared only about you. You were everything.

You could tell he was sobering up slowly. His face changed to regret and hurt. You know that inside his head he was blaming himself.

“Damn it Brad, you show up at my door at 3am all beaten up and looking like a absolute mess. And you still want me to believe that you’ve changed? That this mean something?”.You raised your voice. 

He was starting to get angry at himself knowing that every word you were saying were true. So he decided it was better to leave, coming here was wrong. He tried to get up to leave between grunts. 

“You’re not going anywhere. I’m not finshed.” He stopped and looked at you as you sat carefully on his legs to prevent him from moving.

“What are y-” 

“Shut up Brad, I’m trying to fix you.” You cut his words since the patience was coming to an end and quickly applyed the plasters. Earning a few curses on the way. “Now you’re done. I’m going to make us tea. Meanwhile you should take a shower to sobber up. I’l be waiting for you if you really want to talk.” You were surprise by your audacity to control the situation. Getting up off the floor right after and leaving the bathroom.

He stood there disbelief, enjoying and surprised by this new you.

The one he didn’t knew.

Yet.

[silverhandsamurai]

Chaos ♦ Johnny Silverhand/Fem!V ♦ Part I

Summary - AU; In a future where both Johnny and V manage to survive. Each with their own body. Just when things are finally hopeful fate throws them both back into hell and while this is happening the two of them are struggling to figure out their ever-changing relationship. In Night City things are always chaotic.

------------------------------

This is a multi chapter long story so hope everyone enjoys the ride ♥

chapter warnings; swearing & minor spoilers

-----------------------------

I didn't think it would be possible, but it happened...

A future where both Johnny and I lived - in separate bodies.

No one dying.

Just hope and a fresh start.

A few days before my set meeting with Hanako I got a random call. The name was unknown and the voice was even disguised all of it just screamed- suspicious, but I still answered. Johnny wasn't too happy about it and started going on a tirade.

Something along the lines of we haven't the time for dumb side bullshit and I was wasting my breath on it. Also that corporats were just scheming again.

Blah blah corpo hate crap blah blah big boy rocker bullshit...

Since that call Johnny didn't say anything anymore. Guess the asshole just couldn't admit I was actually right and he was wrong. His poor pride....

One thing lead to another and the mysterious caller was able to lead us to this ripperdoc from out of the country. This guy was all kinds of weird, but he was able to fix ol' Johnny boy and me up easy.

It...almost felt like a slap in the face how quickly the problem was resolved.

All that hell and trouble was just gone in an instant...

The biochip was taken out of my head without me dying and then placed into a perfect replica of Johnny's body. Only a few things were missing like his cybernetics and his tattoos.

The body was a soulless sleeve cloned from Johnny's DNA in a lab.

Yeah....and I thought shit couldn't get weirder and I still don't have any real answers for why Johnny's body was being cloned.

Don't know if I do want the answers honestly...

Once Johnny's biochip was jammed into his new body he and I were placed in a medical ward at a private location under watch by the weird ripperdoc and a few unseemly nurses.

It took Johnny a few days to get used to his body. He couldn’t walk properly or even talk. He was like a toddler stumbling around only able to communicate through throwing things and punching shit.

I learned true bliss during this time.

Johnny Silverhand, rendered completely silent. Sure it was against his will since he was just a bumbling babe that couldn’t talk yet. But after having said rockerboy in my head for weeks I appreciated the unintended mute button that was placed on him- yup that was true bliss. 

Watching him glare at me from across the room was enjoyable. The occasion middle fingers sent in my direction became a ritual greeting among us. I gladly returned each time to him.

While Johnny was in his training wheels stage with his new body. I on the other hand was literally going through my body becoming my own again. The ripperdoc didn't go into details only said my body was removing all traces of biochip's influence.

Mostly it meant I spent days in bed popping pills like candy as Johnny's tantrums lured me to sleep.

After a few weeks Johnny was fully transformed from an angry man toddler to his final true form - raging dickhead.

After his metamorphosis in true Silverhand fashion a few events occurred.

First - he decked the weird ripperdoc in his face and then marched off to Cassius to get his old tattoos again.

Second - went to the shadiest back alley ripper and had his arm cut off and replaced into his signature arm cybernetic.

He could have easily let Cassius fix his arm, but Johnny ranted about how overcharged the price was so of course, he sought out the cheapest unsafe option.

Third - he got piss ass drunk at Afterlife then got thrown out onto the streets shouting for a cigarette.

It was two in the morning when I got a message from Rogue to come and pick up my stray cat ...

While Johnny was off storming the streets in a blaze of hell after leaving the medical ward I was the opposite. Once I was freed to go I paid for the nicest hotel in the city and then I relaxed in a nice warm jacuzzi with a glass of my favorite booze.

After the chaos I had lived I deserved to pamper myself. I was free of my rockerboy brain tumor and life was looking bright again.

But I was naive to think I could go a day without hearing his name for even a few hours.

Once Johnny Silverhand pulls you into his orbit there is no escaping even if you wanted to.

Getting out of the car I felt my jaw lock anger slowly rising up into my veins as I made my way over to Johnny spread out on the ground waving his hand in the air and shouting for the bouncer at the back of Afterlife to get him a beer.

"What the fuck Johnny?"

Lifting himself slightly to glance at me the instant his eyes locked with mine that damn smirk of his danced across his face.

" So Rogue finally decided to call my babysitter shoulda fuckin' figured. Well since you are already here mind making yourself useful and getting me a smoke."

I took two deep breaths to calm myself and ran my hands down my face. Without a word, I spun on my heel and headed back to my car and I pulled out a pack of cigarettes from the glove box. I glared at the pack knowing that it was only there because Johnny snuck it in at some point in the past when he was in control of my body.

" Sneaky asshole. "

Closing the car door I marched over to Johnny and then threw the pack at his face making it smack hard into his head.

" Christ V, watch where you are aimin'!"

Nudging my boot into his side I crossed my arms and glared at him on the ground.

"Who says I didn't hit my target?"

Muttering curses as he set up Johnny took a cigarette out of the pack and then lit it before slowly standing up to full height. Closing the distance between us Johnny stopped just a few inches from me before leaning down to my level and blowing a long puff of smoke into my face.

" Real-fucking-charmer you are, V."

Not even coughing as the smoke dissipated my gaze remained locked with his as he stepped closer the burnt tip of the cigarette a hair away from my lips. I could feel the heat rolling off at it, but the only thing my attention was drawn to was the swirling emotions in Johnny's eyes as he glared back at me with full force.

" I aim to please, Johnny . "

---------------------------------------

I've been binge playing Cyberpunk since release and I've been wanting to write a story with Johnny since I started.

Finally got a plot worked out and will be updating this when I can.

[bumackerman]

DEAR ADULT READERS/CREATORS,

18+ (MINORS DO NOT INTERACT)

^ see that? there is absolutely no way you missed that disclaimer if you understand the proper way to read english. but, let’s say you did miss it... here’s this message;

if you are under the age of 18, do not interact with 18+ adult accounts, or content.

there. hopefully you got the memo. if not, then i guess, one day, you’ll have the great opportunity to be featured in this brand new series of exposing, purging, and reporting minors! i mean... yay you?

disclaimer!; do not send any unnecessary hate to any of these people! it does not solve anything, and it could get you in trouble. just report, and block. thanks.

featured today, we have (drumroll please)... @/matching-with-my-demons!

warning: this post is very long!

alright, so i don’t actually know for sure if he’s necessarily a minor, but i do know that he’s been lying his age, and many, many other details about his life, leading to him getting caught by yours truly.

from this point forward, i will be reciting a briefed account of what exactly happened from a collective point of view of all of the victims involved.

I. beginning.

so, (and i think all of the people involved can agree,) this person is a flirt. automatically. just giving everyone pet names, talking about doing stuff with us, role playing with us, you know. nothing too extreme. i wasn’t suspicious of him at this point. i mean, i was sure he was 18+. to be fair, he did mention that he was 21 turning 22. why wouldn’t we believe him? he was speaking like an adult.

II. little lies & suspicion.

now, i’m not saying that this is impossible, but at multiple times during our conversations, he’d mentioned that he was was fluent in seven languages. seven. it’s not entirely impossible, but you’d think that if english wasn’t someone’s first (of many) languages, they’d have some sort of accent, right?

not only that, but he stated that he was six years old when he moved to america from japan, and he hasn’t moved since. i know, i know, yeah, cool he knows a lot of languages, and he’s a foreigner. yadda, yadda. get to the point.

he said that he was of asian descent, and that his parents were both japanese, and they lived in japan their whole lives. where the hell is he learning all of these extra languages at the young age of 21?

if japanese is his first language, we can cut out the time needed to become fluent in it. next, i’m ignoring english, as he would’ve had from the age of 6 to 21 to become fluent in it, but somehow he claimed he wasn’t? (let’s not mention the obvious fake misspellings and misunderstandings of simple words.) how on earth would he have become fluent in (at least) five other languages in middle school-high school?

OTHER LITTLE LIES N DETAILS

- he claimed that he was a 6’7, 21 year old (cis) male.

- said he was a stripper, bartender, and a sex worker (we’ll come back to that later).

- sent a picture of “his” chest, but it was 100% from google or some shit.

- (not judging anyone who does) he said that his body count was 74, but literally no one asked?

- he texted us when he “got another body” tf? we don’t care. carry on, i guess. (said he went on for like 7 rounds but... what?)

- talked about getting a vibrator stuck in his ass n his roommate had to get it out for him, but once again, nobody asked. °-°

- said he could bench 200 lbs. not impressive, just thought it was worth mentioning.

- said he had the same birthday as bakugou, which, okay.. (4/20)

- he made multiple channels in the server where he could roleplay with certain people, which, i, and a couple other people never used.

III. the voice chat.

after a while of all of us messing around, the conversation started to get heated, and some of us were teasing him, including me. we decided to get on voice chat (his idea), and he started talking into the mic. all of us were very confused, as he did not at all sound like a giant of a grown man.

but, despite this, we all warily continued, until he left the call. when he left, everyone who was participating voiced their current concerns, and laughed out our nervousness. that is, until he re-joined and everyone muted. he continued doing what he was doing until he “broke character”, stating he was a voice actor and it was hard to keep up that voice because it hurt his throat. i would’ve believed him if he didn’t sound the exact same as he did when he was “in character”.

after that, we were a lot more concerned and on edge about his identity, and i started to focus more on the shit he was telling us, hoping to find out who the fuck this person really was. i stopped interacting with him in a nsfw way, and mostly observed what he was saying, just watching from the sidelines.

II. the pictures.

captions:

not only do the skin colors just not match up, the hands in each picture are totally different people. even if you take into account the lighting differences, the undertones should still be the same. these pictures are fake.

if you look at the fingers, you can see that the ones on the right are flatter, and shorter. if the hand on the left were to hold that phone, it would wrap all the way around the device.

from a common sense standpoint, we know that our palms are always lighter than our skin tone. the fact that the hand on the left is still darker, proves that these are different people. (not that we needed proof.)

also, if this guy is so muscular, why can he only bench 200lbs? and why is his wrist so skinny?

+ to me, the phone, (right image) and the quality of the picture, looks like a black iphone 4s. from what i can see, at least. meaning, if i’m correct, that picture is majorly outdated.

for both pictures, he flipped the image so that we wouldn’t be able to find it by just by reverse image searching. luckily, one of the people involved was able to figure that out, and told me immediately.

III. ID check.

like i said before, a lot of us were starting to get really suspicious, but at this point, i thought i was the only one that was sketched out, so i issued another ID check.

(be sure to click on the pictures. one of them is really long. also, when reading, read the date and times that messages are sent. i was trying to lighten the mood and be nice, but it was honestly so offensive that he thought i was legitimately dumb.)

so, obviously, these ID’s are fake. not only are the pictures the exact same, but the backgrounds are the same, the outfits are the same, the names are totally fake, and just, wow. i don’t really know how he thought that was gonna slip past me.

after i called both him, and @/yourmajesty-theking out, he went into his own discord and started ranting to some of the other people involved that he was freaking out because he didn’t have his ID.

remember how i said that he mentioned he was a stripper/bartender/sex worker? why the fuck don’t you have your ID on you if you claimed you were at work that day? you can’t get in without it. °-° just- everything he was saying didn’t come together cleanly. the timeline is all sorts of fucked up.

you can’t drive without an ID, how are you getting to work? you can’t get into a strip club without an ID, how are you getting in? you can’t serve alcohol without and ID, how are you a bartender? you can’t get an apartment without an ID, how are you living with a roommate?

he told us that he moved to america with his PARENTS, and somehow his grandmother is in america now? when did that happen? if you’re gonna lie, at least make it believable.

IV. conclusion.

anyway, do what you want with this information. the people in the discord all agreed that based off his voice and the evidence, that he couldn’t have been older than 15, and at most, 16.

though he hasn’t deactivated his account, the last time he was active was april 7, 2021 at 12:39am (EST) he claims he lives in cali, so i don’t know what time that is there.

thanks for reading. i’m sure i missed a lot of stuff, but for now, this is all i could put together. also, lmk if there are any spelling errors. i’m too tired to check.

like i said, if i get any hate for calling out a minor, you will be blocked/reported, and i will not hesitate to turn anons off for the time being. besides, saying dumb shit doesn’t affect me. just makes me laugh.

- bum <3

[headcanonsandhijinx]

I watched a few clips from ‘Black Widow’ and this au just popped into my head. (Be warned, this whole is incredibly messy and disjointed. I apologise for that. I’m just writing this as it pops into my head in a stream of consciousness because I’m kinda tired rn.)

Black Widow/Winter Soldier Wild AU

Can you imagine if when Wild’s really young and is discovered to be the hero, he’s just ripped away from his family and life to be trained as the hero. Except the training is pretty much just training him to be an obedient assassin who does whatever he is ordered to. He’s essentially got the training of Black Widow and the Winter Soldier and is just used by the royal family for whatever they want him to do basically.

***

I imagine parts of his training be things like…

1. The obvious weapons training. He’s trained with pretty much any weapon you can find in Hyrule until he’s a master at all of them. Sword, spear, bow and arrow, bommerang, etc.

2. Hand to hand combat as well. Again, he’s pretty much mastered it.

3. Pain resistance. He’s basically trained to ignore pain and they did this by beating him over and over until he learned not to flinch and show a physical reaction.

4. He speaks pretty much every language in Hyrule (Hylian, Goron, Gerudo, Rito, Zora, and Sheikah) fluently.

5. Any other stuff you can think of that he could be trained in basically.

***

Of course, as the hero he’s still Zelda’s bodyguard, they just never get along like they start to in the game before the Calamity awakens. Mainly because Wild has to follow her father’s every order and, like in canon, she hates that she has to be protected and feels useless because she can’t access her goddess given powers. And because Wild literally doesn’t even have the freedom to even think for himself, there isn’t really anyway for them to bond, so Zelda never ends up becoming nice to him like she is after he rescues her from the Yiga attack in one of the memories. (Yeah, this AU probably isn’t going to be super Zelda friendly, basically for more angst purposes when the LU boys come in).

A way to make the situation worse is by having all the champions, even Revali as much as he teases, be deeply uncomfortable by the way Wild is treated by the royal family. (I kinda imagine Revali still being a prick but he’s a bit nicer to Wild then he is in canon.) When they all first visit Hyrule Castle and see how he basically is treated more like a tool than a person, they are all absolutely furious. They all end up volunteering to train Wild in their various fighting styles as a way to get him away from the castle and his orders for a bit so that they can actually treat him kindly. But they treat him so differently to how he’s treated back in the castle that he’s actually confused by them treating him kindly. They’d all gotten back to their respective quarters that night and shed a few tears, the boy didn’t even know proper kindness.

The champions just see Wild as a member of their family and, although he doesn’t say it, he becomes fond of them too. He’s like a brother to all of them. They hate having to leave him to go and prepare the Divine Beasts and pray they see him soon.

Calamity Ganon rises.

The champions are killed in their respective Divine Beasts, and the makeshift family they had with Wild is broken apart.

Wild runs across a muddy field in torrential rain with Zelda’s hand in one of his and the Master Sword in his other. He’s running on nothing but orders and adrenaline. He has several cracked ribs, his left arm is broken even as he grips Zelda’s hand, there is blood pouring out of several cuts and gashes across his body, but still he keeps running. He has too, his body will not allow him to stop as he was ordered to run and protect the princess. She is his mission and he cannot fail.

But moments after Zelda finally unlocks her powers as she shields them from a guardian, he fails his mission. He collapses under the weight of his injuries and moments later, he dies in the middle of Hyrule Field. He has failed his mission and Hyrule has fallen. (Sorry, I don’t really know when I slipped into story mode there?)

But Zelda still manages to have him placed him the resurrection shrine as they still need him, and so, 100 years later, Wild wakes up.

The whole thing gets sadder if you imagine Wild’s training being so strong that it sticks after his resurrection. He doesn’t even understand it, he just hears a voice in his head yelling at him to not do this and not do that. (Extra sad thing, the reason he does all the side quests is because Zelda is the highest authority figure in Hyrule, but as she’s trapped in the castle and unable to give him orders, Wild just obeys anyone because he assumes that they’re a higher ranking than him, even though they are just normal people. And most of the time, they aren’t giving him orders they are asking for help, but he just doesn’t know the difference.)

Anyway, Wild completes his mission and defeats Calamity Ganon and everything seems okay. He’s still at Zelda’s side as she’s the current ruler and part of his programming is to obey the current monarch. They still don’t really get along, but Zelda is trying to be kind to him now, but I imagine that it’s just kind of too late for that now.

However, everything changes when the LU gang turn up (finally!) and look for this Hyrule’s hero, they do find him. But they just don’t expect him to be an emotionless 118 year old assassin. They talk with Zelda to discuss their quest and she says that Wild can go with them, blah blah blah. So they take Wild with them on their quest and just get more and more outraged the more they find out about him (oh, also Wild is mute in this and uses sign language.)

Since Time seems to be the leader of the group, Wild starts to treat him like he treats Zelda. Listens to whatever he says as Wild sees it as an order, protects him more during fights, that kinda stuff and it breaks Time’s heart when he figures it out.

Also i imagine that it’s also really strange for Wild to visit the other Hyrules and meet the other Zelda’s who have great relationships with their respective Links, because he doesn’t have that with his Zelda. (Although, I do see Malon immediately taking a liking to him and wanting to hug the poor boy, which would be super emotional for him as he hasn’t been hugged in years and can’t even remember his own mother).

***

But there are two times that the gang really learn how much his training messed him up and oh boy, are they fucking fuming!

The first time happened when Wild gets stabbed during a fight and doesn’t even flinch. Nobody notices until after the fight when they all sit at the camp fire that night and Wild just starts sewing his wound up as they all watch in horror. Hyrule asks why he never said he was injured and Wild says ‘it wasn’t important.’ And doesn’t understand why they make a fuss and insist he wastes a healing potion on himself (yes, Wild has an absolutely crap self-esteem here and doesn’t actually think he’s worth anything other than what he can do for people.) Hyrule has to be stopped from tackling Wild to check on the wound himself.

The second was when Wild put himself in danger during a fight to protect the others and when the fight was over Time yelled at him. It was out of concern for Wild’s wellbeing and asking why him had put himself in danger, but Wild thought he was in trouble and asked if Time wanted to punish him. Everyone, especially Time, was horrified and confused. Time asked what Wild meant by punishment and then almost wished he’d never asked. Wild just went into explanations of various punishments he’s had. They were all incredibly harsh, including being whipped, having to stand outside holding a sword outstretched in his hands all night while not being allowed to lower his arms, having to fight other full-armoured and equiped soldiers without any armour or weapons himself, etc. Wild is then the subject of a very big cuddle pile.

***

Basically this AU can be summed up as Black Widow/Winter Soldier Wild gets treated nicely for the first time in years and is very confused/uncomfortable, while the gang all immediately see Wild and are like ‘ahh yes, our amnesiac assassin now’ while they try to convince him that there is more to him than just being a puppet for people. Of course, while the quest with the black blooded monsters takes place as well.

[ri-ahhh]

could I request something where E is like editing but y/n gets bored and sits on his lap and starts to grind which ends up with maybe some punishments from E after he's had enough?

(my first E anything, this was a trip haha -- shout out to Pao @persistence-ofmemories, here’s your ethan smut lol)

You’ve been watching him all day. Strolling around the house shirtless with his AirPods in and sipping a smoothie while he conversed easily on continuous business calls. Hunched over his laptop answering emails. Sitting at the table with Grayson while they brainstormed new video ideas and Wakeheart promotional pitches. 

Something about businessman Ethan hit so much different for you. He’s not an overly serious person on the daily, but CEO Ethan doesn’t fuck around. When he’s on these calls, his voice takes on this timbre that’s deep and confident and self-assured. Leaves no room for argument when he knows what’s best for his brands. It makes you clench your thighs and bite your lip as you watch and listen from your perch at the bar where you’re doing your own work for the day on your laptop.

But he can also get extremely caught up in it, in the perfection and responsibilities that are required when you’re a self-made businessman. Sometimes it’s hot and endearing, and sometimes it’s frustrating. Tonight, it’s frustrating. 

You emerge from the ensuite bathroom in his room, dressed for bed in one of his t-shirts and squeezing some of the excess water out of your hair from your shower, to find him at his desk chair and on the phone again. You frown, checking the time on your phone. It’s after 10:30 PM, much too late considering he’s been doing this since around 8 this morning. 

You walk up behind him, leaning over the back of the chair and wrapping your arms around his broad shoulders. You press a lingering kiss to his temple and nuzzle his cheek as you inspect what he’s working on. A still frame from their new video they’re about to post is on the screen of his laptop.

“I can’t decide if we should leave this part at 11 minutes in, bro. What do you think?”

You don’t know who he’s talking to, probably Ryan or maybe even Grayson; they have a habit of calling each other even if they're both in the house, rather than just get up and go wherever the other one is. You’re a little confused as to why he’s editing of all things right now, though.

“Babe, what are you doing? Isn’t this what you pay Ricky for now?” you ask, reaching a hand up to play with his hair. It’s getting so long, and you're not mad about it one bit.

Ethan glances up at you and puckers his lips. You oblige him with a quick peck, but you still expect an answer. He has a habit of trying to temporarily appease you when he’s busy and focused on something.

He sighs when he realizes you’re not giving up that easily. He puts the phone on mute, and you do indeed see Grayson’s name on the screen. “Ricky’s swamped, so I told him I had this one. It’s not too crazy.”

“You’ve been working literally all day, E. Can’t you come to bed so we can spend some time together before we go to sleep? I can’t stay up too late, I have a meeting in the morning.” 

Ethan hesitates, turning the phone speaker back on to talk to his brother through his headphones. “Hey, Gray one sec.” He mutes it again. “Sweetheart, this won’t take me very long, I promise. The video is gonna be pretty short.”

You roll your eyes and pick up the towel you had dropped to the floor, turning your back on him to hang it up in the bathroom. You refuse to be the nagging girlfriend. If he wants to prioritize work he doesn't even need to be finishing right now, you’re happy to guilt trip him. 

“Whatever, E. It doesn’t feel like a long time to you, but a ‘short video’ still means like three hours.”

When you come back into the bedroom, you expect him to be lounging on the bed with his phone, laptop shut for the night and LED lights on. So when you find him in the exact same position, talking to Grayson once again, a wave of rage and hurt washes over you. Ethan is usually an amazing and attentive boyfriend, and you’re not particularly clingy with him; you just want to spend some intimate time together after a nonstop work schedule on both your ends had left that time lacking in your relationship lately, and which doesn’t show any signs of changing in the coming week. 

You consider giving in and slipping under the covers to pout and go to sleep after all. Even if you were tired enough to go to sleep now, though, you know you’d be way too mad to achieve that. Your course of action is easy, then.

“Baby...” Ethan huffs, irritation and amusement both detectable in his tone when you march over to him and swing a leg across his lap. He grunts when you plop yourself in his lap, adjusting until you’ve got your arms wrapped around his middle and your face nuzzled in his neck. “Seriously?”

“Seriously?” you mock his deep voice. You know he hates that, and your lips curve up where you press them to his neck when you feel him tense up a little. “We both know you don’t need to be doing this right now, I heard you and Gray decide to post in three days. No sponsor with a deadline to get approval from. You’re just being a workaholic instead of a considerate boyfriend.”

He shakes his head, his arms curved around you so he can still reach the keyboard of his laptop. You hear the clicks of the keys resume as he has the nerve to keep working. “I just want to get this done, so it’s over with and so I don’t have to worry about it in a couple of days. You’re being a brat.”

You scoff indignantly. You’re being a brat just because you want to spend some of the limited free time you both have with your boyfriend?

If that’s what he thinks you are, then you’ll let him have it.

You can hear Grayson’s muffled voice coming through the one AirPod Ethan’s wearing in the ear opposite from the one you’re next to. Perfect. You smirk and start planting sweet, innocent kisses up the side of his neck until you reach his ear, taking the lobe in-between your teeth teasingly.

Ethan inhales sharply when you tug on it with a little nibble before releasing it and putting your mouth right to his ear. You start rocking against him, sitting up some to put your hands on his shoulders.

“I’m gonna get off on you, with or without your help,” you whisper straight into his ear, smirking when your hot breath raises goosebumps on his bare skin. Now, it’s just a competition between his stubbornness and his desire for your pussy. The latter will win, you know it — it’s only a matter of time. “If you want to make this a mutual effort, I’m more than happy for you to do that.”

He releases a heavy breath, and you smile against his skin when you feel him hardening predictably beneath you. You grind deeper into him, and lick your tongue along the words inked into his skin on his collarbone. 

He stays stubbornly focused in the chair, and you can hear Grayson still talking in his ear, but Ethan isn’t responding to him. His chest and neck are flushing pink, and you sit back to see if that pretty color is gracing his cheeks, too.

You grin when you see that it is. His arms are still draped loosely around your waist, no longer typing, so you lean back with your hands on his knees, still grinding on the large bulge growing in his sweatpants. His eyes trail over you, how the t-shirt of his that you’re wearing pools at your hips, exposing your soft cotton panties that you sleep in so he can see your pussy rocking on his dick. 

“Feels so good,” you murmur, tossing your hair over one shoulder and biting your lip. You reach one hand down and lift your shirt so you can both see the wet patch growing in your panties. He lets out this tiny little masculine moan that has you going harder, faster. You grin and lift your eyes to watch him watch your hips, and the heat in his gaze makes you shiver. “Would feel better if you were inside me, E. Want that big dick inside me, stretching me out. Don’t you want that, baby?”

Ethan shakes his head incredulously again, clearing his throat. “Hey, I’m tired Gray. I’ll finish tomorrow, okay?”

He doesn’t wait for his brother to answer before ripping his headphone out of his ear, tossing it onto his desk, and tapping the red button on his phone to hang up. You squeal and giggle when he stands up suddenly, cupping his big hands under your thighs so you come with him. You wrap your legs around his waist instinctively, and don’t waste any time threading your fingers into his hair and dragging his lips to yours. 

He moans into your mouth and stumbles to the bed, but your kiss is short-lived as he tosses you onto the mattress. You bounce and laugh again, scooting back to settle against the pillows as he crawls predatorily on top of you. He looks fucking amazing -- his hair a mess, skin tan from all the shirtless skateboarding he’s been doing lately, dick print evident in his grey sweats. Your mouth and pussy water simultaneously, and you reach out for him as he gets closer.

“You think that was cute?” he asks with a tiny smirk, allowing you to wrap your arms around him as he settles between your legs. “Turning me on while I’m working? While I’m on the phone with my brother?”

“Kind of. I did ask you nicely to stop working,” you remind him, trailing a finger down the line bisecting his torso until you reach his pants. You palm his erection through the soft fabric, grinning when he thrusts into your touch. “Not my fault you can’t listen.”

Ethan hums and hooks his fingers into the sides of your panties, making your hand fall away from him as he slinks them down your freshly shaved legs and leans back to toss them over his shoulder. His eyes are glued to your pussy and the shimmer of your arousal clinging to your smooth lower lips. Your head falls to your shoulder as you spread your legs more for him, whining thankfully when his fingers brush up your slit.

“So wet for me already,” Ethan says, collecting the slick moisture on his fingertips as he strokes you lazily. 

You nod, lifting your hips to encourage him to deepen his touch. It feels good, but it’s barely there, and he definitely hasn't come near your clit. “Please, E.”

He tsks his tongue at you, smirking as he watches your face watch his. “Patience, baby. You couldn’t wait for me to finish working. You’ll have to wait a bit to get to cum, now.”

His words turn you on as much as they anger you. He laughs, actually laughs, when he feels more wetness seep onto his fingers from where he’s toying with your hole. “Oh, baby, did you like that? You like me making you wait?”

You have too much pride even through all the maddeningly unsatisfying pleasure he’s bringing about to answer him outright. You let out a loud moan when he sinks his two middle fingers into you. “You...you’re an ass.”

He chuckles again, wiggling his fingers a little bit inside you before taking them out, making sure he has your eyes locked on his when he sucks them into his mouth.

“Fuck,” he whispers, licking the stray bits that cling to his lips as he leans back over you and slips the same fingers back inside. He still doesn’t touch your clit, but his fingers start pumping and moving just how you like, filling you up but putting all the pressure in just the right spots.

Your legs spread even wider, head tossed back to the pillow as you grab the forearm supporting him over you with one hand and clutch the sheets by your head with the other. 

“E...holy shit!” you whimper, digging your nails into that eagle on his arm. His fingers feel so good, hitting you just right, but it’s not enough to make you cum, and he knows it. He smirks down at you, watching you fall apart as the sloppy slick sounds of your pussy mingle in the room with his heavy breaths and your high-pitches gasps and moans. You don’t know how much more you can take of it. 

“Ethan, please make me cum, please make me cum!”

Ethan groans, your begging music to his ears, and he relents by finally adding his thumb to the mix, lighting upon your clit and rubbing gentle, slow circles into it. Your back lurches off the bed, your eyes meeting his as you plead with him not to stop, that you’re almost there.

Of course he doesn't listen, though. You want to sob when he pulls out of you with a harsh growl, licking his digits clean again before sitting back and shoving his sweats down his legs. He stands off the side of the bed to kick them off his feet. 

“Don’t you dare touch yourself,” he reprimands, shaking his head when he sees your hand instantly gravitate to your pussy. You whine but obey, waiting for him to climb back on the bed. He gathers your shirt in his hands, pulling up. “Lemme see your tits, baby. Wanna see them when I fuck you.”

You lift your arms at once, letting him pull it over your head so that you're both left completely naked. Ethan cups them both in his hands as he settles between your spread legs once again, and he ducks down to swipe his tongue over your nipples with sweet little suckles. He leaves each of them with a nip of his teeth and a soothing swipe of his tongue before he’s moving up to your mouth. You didn't realize it until that moment, but you needed the intimacy of his kiss, and it both calms you and makes you voracious for more of him.

As if he can read your mind, Ethan reaches between the two of you and takes his dick in hand, running the tip up and down your slit to coat himself in your copious arousal before tapping it against your clit. You jerk against him and moan into his mouth, which you feel curve against yours. He pulls back, watching your face intently as he pops the head into your entrance and sinks into you with one slow, gradual thrust. 

You don’t think you've ever been this close this early, but you're still wound tight from how high he brought you just a few moments ago with his fingers. “God, E, fuck me. Fuck me with that big fucking dick.”

For the first time tonight, he obeys your command, moaning wantonly at your words. His hands cup the backs of your thighs and keep your legs close to your body as he pushes your knees to your chest. He’s deep deep in this angle, and you cry out so loud you wouldn't be surprised if Grayson could hear you down the hall. 

That’s the least of your concerns, though, when he’s pumping into you so good, his thrusts hard and powerful as he grunts along with you, desperation clear in his own deep voice. You can tell he’s close too, He’s hitting just the right spot, and you lock eyes with him as you clutch his biceps in a death grip as he gets you right to the edge. 

“Oh my...fuuuck E, I’m gonna cum!” you sob, and your body is letting go so hard you think your head has gone to another dimension. 

“Baby, shit,” he hisses with how fucking tight your pussy starts spasming around his cock, how extra wet and warm everything gets all of the sudden. His head swims, and he slows his dick inside you, his heart and his ego ready to explode with how much he loves seeing you fall apart so good, because of him. 

He lets go of your legs to lean over you again and mouth at your neck, bringing you back to earth with whispers of sweet nothings and gentle kisses to your face. 

It takes what feels like all night, but eventually you can open your eyes again and be cognizant of your surroundings. You smile tiredly and let out a whispered curse as you cup his cheeks to kiss him lazily for a few moments, before releasing him and telling him to cum, too. He sits back again, and you shove your arms under your pillow, thrusting your chest out so your tits bounce for him as he starts pumping into your sensitive pussy again, chasing his nut.

His eyes flit back and forth from your chest to your face, where you're smiling up at him, all fucked out and sexy. “Fucking give it to me, E,” you whisper, clenching around him purposefully. He groans, looking at you desperately, questioningly. “Inside, baby.”

Ethan gives you all of three more sloppy, hard thrusts before you’re moaning with him as he shoots his load exactly where you told him. You love the unique warmth of his cum deep in your pussy. 

He slowly collapses down on top of you, and you welcome his weight literally with open arms, holding him close to your chest, playing with his hair and giving him the same loving whispers he did to you. 

When his breathing has slowed nearly back to normal, you direct his head up to kiss you. Your lips smack together quietly, and the feel of his mouth on yours just makes you feel complete in a way nothing else can.

“I should interrupt your work more often.”

[miss-kittys-magical-library]

The Ides Of March

(A Darren Treacy x Jeanie Turner mini-series)

Prologue - Bad Romance

Word Count: 1815

Warnings: language, violence, murder, mention of sexual assault, angst

A/N: On Saint Patrick's Day, Darren and Jeanie start receiving ominous, cryptic text messages claiming to be from the future. Play the game; save Darren. Jeanie's rules are simple enough: If Dazz can catch her out in Dublin, he can have her any way and anywhere he wants. So how did a night of wild sex and whiskey lead to murder? *Spoilers for Love/Hate series 3*

Sequel to “The Sinner’s Prayer” Part 1  Part 2  Part 3

There are tiny moments that contain millions of choices we all make. It's not a choose your own adventure; there's not always time to think cohesively. Add in copious amounts of liquor and sex and a person may become impulsive. As Jeanie cocked the gun pointed in Nidge’s direction, she found herself in the middle of one of those flip-of-the-coin situations.

She followed every hint, every cryptic text from a burner phone that was meant to prevent this exact instant. But the vile leader of an IRA faction lay slowly dying from internal injuries at her feet. Siobhan, softly sobbing hid her face in Tommy’s shoulder. Darren, behind her, still held the keg by the handle. Nidge was the only one who could square up. He was pacing like a trapped animal, enraged and seething. Jeanie never faltered in her aim.

“We're done here, Delaney,” the words came out distorted. “Right now. This was a nice night. I saw a great concert. I drank loads of fucking liquor. I have had more sex in the last few hours than I have in the last few years. I literally got eaten out in a pub loo. I'm getting divorced, and if Trish was smart she'd get a divorce too.”

“Red-” Darren tried.

Jeanie spun on him, the gun pointed too close for either’s comfort. Darren’s eyes like a deer in headlights. “I'm not losing you. I'm not letting this life eat anymore of you. Siobhan already paid the price.”

“Just put the gun down please. I'm only trying t’put him out, love. Look at the bastard.”

“It's a butterfly effect, Dazz. You're already too much for them.” Tears threatened Jeanie’s eyes.

Darren put his hand on the muzzle of the gun cautiously and pointed it down to the floor. “What the fuck are ye talking about? Jeanie, you've been barking all night. Not that I don't appreciate the craic,” he smirked, “Or the shaggin’. The panic attack when we walked through the door earlier. How did ye know about Git?”

Jeanie fished in her cleavage for her mobile and tossed it to Darren. He opened it up and used his own for comparison. He studied the texts on both screens with confusion in his eyes.

“You've been getting them too, right?”

“But how?”

Only Darren and Jeanie existed right now. And the soft gurgling of Git as he drowned in his own blood. The choked crying of a young woman who had been assaulted. They were alone, but aware. So deeply aware of their situation.

“Oh please, can ye even fire a fucking gun?” Nidge’s voice broke through.

Jeanie whirled again, her arm around the side of Darren's friend. It was all fluid. Her arms moved with resistance like underwater. The gun aimed somewhere towards the back of the basement or front. No one was sure. It was just where she pointed the gun and pulled the trigger.

One by one dominos topped in a new pattern. Siobhan screamed, but the sound was deafening so her panic was muted. The gun kicked back causing Jeanie’s elbow to vibrate. Almost like someone checked her reflexes with a small hammer. A burst of concrete where the bullet hit a wall, and Darren dropped the keg with an even louder crash.

In Nidge’s terror, he went to flee from Jeanie's bullet . His entire weight landed on Git’s face. Nidge’s trainer came down with a sickening crunch like a knife in butter. Git’s face was the butter. The gurgle ceased.

The last domino fell. Jeanie dropped the weapon to her side and staggered backwards into Darren’s arms. He tried to take the gun but she jerked it away.

Instead he switched gears and mumbled nonsensical words of comfort. “I've got yous.” and “Jeanie, it'll be ok” She stared up at him as a tremble rolled through her. Darren put his hand on her face and sort of started fixing her hair. Then, with a turn of her head, Jeanie vomited absolutely everywhere.

“Lovely. Just fucking lovely,” Nidge said. “Typical Americans.”

Darren held Jeanie by the arms and bent to look her in the eye. “Alright, sweetheart? Nidge and Tommy and I have t’ take care of this. Why don't ye call Laura or Ewan, and have them come get the pair of ye. Siobhan too? Get her cleaned up and get some sleep. Crash at my gaff, ok?”

Jeanie was numb. Catatonic almost as Darren and Tommy formed a circle. Their heads literally together as they attempted a plan.

Jeanie straightened her back and made her way to Siobhan who held herself tightly. Like she was trying to fade into the background. She put her arms around the young woman who started with a jump but relaxed into Jeanie. The gun finally out of her hands and on the desk beside them.

“Here's what we're gonna do, ok? Do you want me to call Trish or Mary? You aren't gonna clean yourself or even pee. We're gonna take you to hospital. They'll clean you up and take samples. Then we can get you some tea and a warm shower and a nice bed. Dazz has a nice bed. Then I'll get Layton, and bring him to you. That sound good?”

Siobhan nodded softly in agreement, but her uncle wasn't having it. He shoved Darren and Tommy aside to bellow at the two women huddled in the corner together. His finger pointed in Jeanie’s face.

“She’s not gonna do a goddamn thing you say. You're gonna sit right here while Uncle Nidge and the boys clean up this bitch’s mess.”

There was not a single thought that went through Jeanie's head. Was this how Darren's brain was wired to live this lifestyle? Just react and pay for it later while you're trying to live until the next job.

But she was done, she knew that much. Done being left behind. Treated like she was the good little obedient housewife. Having men tell her what she can and can't do. Shut up, sit still and be a good girl. But open your legs. It was being done that caused her to hold the gun up again and point the barrel to Nidge's forehead.

“Darren doesn't work for you anymore, Nigel. Tommy, you can stay here or you can take care of your wife. No one owes him any loyalty.”

“Come on, I didn't mean bitch. We just have to fix it. Then you and Treacy can do whatever.”

Jeanie cocked the gun again until it clicked, “No. You can call Elmo or Fran. Can't call Aido can you? Seeing as you got him shot. Dazz gave you a lung, the love of his life, his sister and his fucking mind. He's not giving you or this bullshit anything else.”

“Red-”

Jeanie swung the gun on Darren without thinking. He flinched and ducked, But she kept her wits about her. She aimed the gun at Nidge once more.

“Dazz, take your shoes off,” she instructed.

“What?”

“You're standing in this cunt’s blood. Take your trainers off and leave them. Socks too, and stand behind me. Then text Ewan and tell him to meet us here with a car. We're going to your flat, then my hotel to pack our bags after we shower and set these clothes on fire. Then we are getting all of our money, our passports and our IDs. Say goodbye to Mary and the girls, and we are going away. Tibet. Phuket. Bali. I don't give a fuck, but we’re flying first class.”

Darren complied. Jeanie couldn't believe it. They shared a look. She couldn't tell if it was relief or the devil in his blazing green eyes, but she was emboldened by it as she bent to take off her own boots. Her focus on Nidge never faltered.

“Ewan said he'll be here in ten or so. Are you sure this is what you want to do?”

“I'm not above shooting this bastard in the head for you, Dazz. I'm not saying we are settling down and having babies and happily ever after or some shit. I'm saying I don't want you to die. If we have to run half way around the world to make that happen..” Jeanie's body started to quiver. The adrenaline was running out. “First I need a Bloody Mary and some French Toast.”

-------

Jeanie exhaled for the first time in nearly 24 hours. The exhaustion finally set in as she laid back in the ridiculous bed chair thing from“upper class.” She and Darren were beyond first class, they were elite now. Even if it was only for the twelve hours it took to get to Thailand.

She could see his far too short hair sticking out on the other side of the wall. She knew at one point he would sneak in to be with her if only for a little while. Jeanie made him look a bit nicer than his typical trainers and hoodies and denim. She was in a sundress herself. They both knew dressing up was not fitting in. Neither felt they fit in here.

“You good, Dazz?”

“I t’ink so. Still trying t’figure out how we went from shagging in coat rooms and back rooms and toilets to watching an IRA boss,” Darren raised his eyes, “to being on this plane. We have forty.. Enough money to live, maybe years where we're going.”

“You couldn't keep living that life, Darren. Nidge was off his fucking rocker, and everyone around him is gonna pay for it.”

“Rosie would've never done this, you know that right?” He looked plaintively over at Jeanie as she climbed up onto her knees.

“Her loss is my gain though. I know you love me, but I'm not sure about my own feelings. I do care about you alot. I'm probably a danger junkie, so we could end up bored of each other without the fear of being caught or you not having any jobs. Or you could wear colors and learn to meditate, and I'll get a pet monkey and cut all my hair off.”

“Don't ye dare!” Darren laughed. “I'll become a Buddhist, just don't cut that hair.” He twisted his fingers up in it before reaching up to kiss her sweetly. Just a hint of his tongue.

“Fine,” Jeanie rolled her eyes. “But I still want a monkey. We should get some sleep.”

They kissed one last time before she laid back down and closed her eyes. Jeanie knew Darren would be on his side when he would begin to dream. His hand tucked under his cheek and head, mouth slightly agape. She pictured it in her head as she drifted off herself.

“How DID we get here?” she thought before dreaming herself of a game that started in sex but ended in murder.

Tag list: @sean-falco @robertsheehanownsmyass @nightmonsters @super-unpredictable98 @elliethesuperfruitlover @slutforrobbiebro @frogs--are--bitches @forenschik @bisexualnathanyoung @sugdenyoung

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #461

“this city looks so pretty, do you wanna burn it with me?”

Have you ever wanted a Nikon camera? Or do you have one already? My camera before the one I have now was a Nikon D3200. I use a Canon now. Who was the last person (if anyone) you said Happy Birthday to? A friend. Do you have Photoshop? If so, how often a day do you use it? I have it, but I barely use it nowadays. I use it to edit photos for character profiles or profile pictures, add a watermark for my actual photography, and I used to make Mark-oriented gifs like crazy. They mostly did really well, so... I might wanna get back into that and get That Sweet Validation. Do you watch any shows that you know your parents wouldn’t approve of? No. Have any of your exes gotten married or had kids since your breakup? None, I think. Do either of your parents have a mental illness? My mom has depression. Can you tolerate children for a long period of time? NO. Have you ever lived with someone you felt thoroughly uncomfortable around? No. Are you into dubstep? Yeah, I tend to enjoy it. Zelda or The Sims games? Can I pick neither? lol I don't feel very much at all for The Sims, and Zelda games have always looked... boring to me? Like I've watched most of the Game Grumps' playthroughs of all the games, and they make it hilarious of course, but the games themselves? Nah. Are you terrible at assigning bands their proper genre? YES YES YES YES YES YES. Even in my preferred category, that being metal, FUCK if I know the sub-genre. Have you ever made out in a closet? No, that shit sounds claustrophobic as hell. Have you ever been to a laser tag place? Yeah, on a triple-date once! It was SO fun. How do you wanna celebrate your next birthday? Have a couple friends over, pig out at The Cheesecake Factory. o3o Do you tease your parents about them being old? No, especially not Mom. She's self-conscious about getting older. Are you in love with someone? "In love" is a bit too far, buddy. But I love someone. Have you ever ridden a unicycle? No. Have you ever wanted a pet bunny? I was VERY serious about getting a lop-eared bunny for quite a while, but we just couldn't afford to adopt one (even off Craigslist) and get a cage for it, toys, etc. Are the bottom of your feet clean? I HATE seeing the bottom of my feet. Not because they're dirty, but because it's Callus City. I ain't even fuckin jokin'. Do you like really salty food? Yeah. :x When’s the last time you bled a lot? Well, I just recently finished my cycle after not menstruating for three or four MONTHS, so you can figure that one out. Have you ever watched a needle go into your own skin? Yeah. I like to know exactly when it's coming. Have you ever seen someone get a piercing/tattoo? Yes to both. When you’re done eating finger foods, do you usually lick your fingers? Usually kasdjlf;kalsdjf shut up ok I like food. What’s the most racist thing you have ever said? As a little kid, when my really good friend (a neighborhood kid, even) asked if he thought we'd be a good couple, I told him no because "blacks and whites don't date" or something like that. It was an idea I'd never been exposed to before; the idea was so foreign to little kid me. I had no idea I was being racist. It ended in a small fight and we didn't talk for a few days 'til he came to my house telling Mom that he had to "be a man" and fix this and if that ain't the cUTEST SHIT RIGHT THERE. We were friends again after that. He's still on my Facebook, and he actually semi-recently got married! :') Do you know someone that is mute, deaf or blind? No. Have you ever spent more than two weeks in a wheelchair? No. Does weed smell good? Or no? Ugh, no. Where do you see your closest friend in ten years? Successful and happy she kept pushing. Mama to so many reptiles that are blessed with the best lives possible in human care. Got at least one amazing book out there. If she's reading this, you've fucking got this. <3 Would you like to have twins? Mother of fucking god, no. Even if I WANTED kids, do fucking not give me twins. Who was the last person you got into an argument with? My mom. Want to have kids before you’re 30? Once again, I don't want kids, but IF I did, that'd be preferable before the risk of birth defects and other issues climb with age. Does anybody have a tattoo with your name on it? My older sister has my initial. Do you think somebody’s in love with you? No. Do you think you and your best friend will be friends in ten years? Yes, I genuinely do. Who were the last people to hang out at your house? Miss Tobey, our friend and landlord. Does anyone like you? Welp... I hope he still does. Guess we'll figure that out soon. What person on your Facebook do you talk to the most? VIA Facebook? Probably my friend Lyndsey. She likes to comment on stuff I share. Do you want to fall in love? I do, but I'm also utterly horrified to and risk being hurt again. Are you interested in more than one person at the moment? No. Once I realized I was so deeply into Girt, all other romantic feelings kinda just... poofed. How was your last break up? Civil and done with both of our best interests in mind. What is the hardest thing you’ve ever had to say? Probably the first time I admitted I needed to go to the hospital for suicidal thoughts. I was so, so scared of what it was going to be like. What is the hardest thing you NEEDED to hear? That if Jason wasn't happy with me, he had every right to move on. She was right. Do you treat yourself well? No... but I'm trying to change that. What was the last song you sang out loud to? This "Set Fire to the Rain" cover. Do you take good pictures? I think I do? Have you ever done any internship? No. What’s a topic you’ve drastically changed your opinion on? Holy shit, so much, especially when it comes to morality and political stances. I am now a massive supporter and member of the LGBTQ+ community, I'm pro-trans rights, pro-choice... I've done like a dozen 180s in a lot of topics. Do you know anyone who has a PhD? I mean, some doctors, but no one in my truly personal life. Do you know anyone who works as a lawyer? Yes: my cousin. Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis? LAKSDJFKLA;JWD NEVER AND I PRAY TO THE HOLY LORD THAT I NEVER DO. Does the thought of having wrinkles when you’re older upset you? Not massively? Like literally everyone gets them and is natural and inevitable. Do you know anyone who’s struggling with addiction? I know one alcoholic, and one that's probably borderline. I also have two friends who are extremely addicted to weed. Look me in the eyes and say it's not an addictive substance and I wouldn't believe you one bit. Is there a video or computer game that you can get lost in for hours? Eh, sometimes World of Warcraft. Some days I'm really into it, and others I barely touch it. What’s your favorite Disney Channel movie? I have no clue. I don't even remember movies that were made *for* Disney exclusively. Do you ever have to do yard work? No. We have a friend from the dance studio mow the lawn. Do you have any live versions of songs in your music software? My iPod has a whole live album of Ozzy. Did you or do you listen to Britney Spears songs? Both did and do. Britney is a boss bitch. Does your favorite band have a male or female lead singer? Male. Have you seen the movie Moulin Rouge? No, but I've seen some of that P!nk music video of the song and it brings out the Gay in me. Do you have a key to anything besides your house? No. Could you ever complete a 500-piece puzzle? I've done that before. I miss doing puzzles... Have you ever been to any sort of convention? I went to a reptile expo with Sara!! I REALLY want to go to another when my legs are stronger and can handle standing and walking so much. Is your mom or dad the older parent? Mom. Have you ever tried to walk on a moving vehicle and fallen over? No????? What is your favourite kind of bread? Is there any of that in your house? Pumpernickel. No. Are/were you in the school band, and if so, what instrument did you play? I played the flute all through middle school and I wanna say half of HS. Have you ever ordered an unusual drink at a bar? Never even been to one. Have you ever been pulled aside by security at the airport? I think once for some reason I don't recall? What is your favourite seasonal candy? (only available at certain times) Gingerbread men, probs. Or chocolate bunnies!!! :') How do you feel right now? My stomach is KILLING me. I'm super excited though that Girt is coming over tomorrow. Have you ever had surgery that kept you in the hospital for over a day? No. What would you like your generation to change? How we treat nature. Is there anyone that you truly could not live without? No. I learned that is a very unhealthy mentality to have. Do you like carrots more if they’re raw, or cooked? I just hate carrots. What restaurant did you last go out to dinner at with friends? With friends? I couldn't even guess. Does your refrigerator have an ice maker or do you use ice cube trays? It has an ice maker. Do you have a favorite sibling, if any? No; I love them all. Do you have a favorite brand of clothing? I STAN CLOAK. How’s the love life? Something new might start tomorrow. I think it will. Do you watch the news? No; that shit is depressing. Who do you admire most? Mark. Do you have a favorite album? Black Rain by Ozzy Osbourne takes the cake and always will.

[sidespromptblog]

Comfort

Main Story: One and Two (End)

One-shots: Confrontation (Virgil) and The Reveal

Summary: After getting tricked into showing up for Thomas, Logan returns to Deceit and Remus for a little rest and relaxation. 

And also to demolish his room, and start from scratch completely leaving the others behind.

Warnings: Remus being a nasty gremlin, Kissing (Deceit and Remus really like to kiss Logan okay, he’s pretty), Mentions of NSFS (not safe for sanders, literally Remus teases Deceit and gets cut off that’s it), Angst (Logan), and Home decoration (one of these things is not like the other). 

Word Count: 5114

AO3 LINK

“What about this color?” Remus asked passing Deceit the color card he had summoned from the top of his head, right after he had just shoved a handful of cracker jacks into his mouth. “It’s pretty neat yeah?” He said, making crumbs cascade onto the counter where he was standing, knowing that the entire time it was slowly pissing Deceit off to keep wiping up his messes or just to vanish them even though they both knew that he could do it with little to no issue.

It was no different than how they usually acted with one another, with the only difference being… Remus was eating his weight in cracker jacks out of sheer nervousness that he refused to openly admit to. All because Logan had gotten called away to help Thomas with whatever issue he was having, they both refused to admit it, but… neither of them had taken their gaze off of the door leading to the lights. Just in case Logan decided to come back that way instead of just rising up, they had been standing in the kitchen for a good hour. They didn’t know what to do, everything they could have done… including the things that they usually did before Logan had come into their arms seemed… not good enough. As it took them just out of eyesight with that door. 

Nevertheless, that certainly didn’t stop Deceit from flicking the color card away. “That’s the color of your room dearest, and you only got it that shade because you’ve got years of junk layering it and have refused to wash it since.” He smirked at Remus’ pout, their nervousness and worry only being kept down by the light banter, and borderline flirting that they were doing. “You know that Logan wouldn’t like that shade, he’s more into blue and you know it.” He crooned as he leaned forward, flicking a piece of dried caramel off the corner of Remus’ mouth. 

Without even thinking about it, the creative side in question seized Deceit’s hand licking at one of the patches of scales on his exposed wrist. Just to openly laugh mirthfully at the full-body shudder that Deceit gave at the feeling of his slimy tongue against his clean skin. 

“Well,” He purred against those fingers, as regardless of his disgusting transgressions, Deceit rubbed his cheek in the exact way that he knew would make Remus roll over for him like an overzealous dog. “Neither of you seemed to be complaining last night when I had you pinned against it with Logan watching as I-”    

What happened next almost the both of have a heart attack and faint all in one go. As completely out of nowhere, two arms curled around Deceit’s middle and a face pressed itself flush against the back of the dishonest side’s neck breathing heavily and deeply. All while the fingers idly played with the buttons on Deceit’s top, as if that alone would distract from both Deceit and Remus’ galloping hearts that felt as if they had just run a marathon and then jogged an extra fifteen miles at the sheer suddenness of what had happened. 

In all honesty, though, Deceit had forced himself to chomp down on his tongue just so that he hadn’t screamed when he had felt the arms circling him.

“Logan?” Deceit worriedly asked concern stampeding through his veins as instead of answering, Logan merely tightened his grip around the dishonest side, nestling his face even more against the back of his neck. “What happened dearest?” If he could have, Deceit would have turned around to envelop Logan with his arms, wrap all six of them around Logan and only let him go when it was Remus’ turn to cuddle their nerd. He had no idea about what had happened, although judging just from how Logan was acting… it couldn’t have been good. 

A sigh rippled through the logical side, and without even thinking he slumped against Deceit as Remus’ fingers curled through his hair. Running from the tip of his scalp down to the back of his neck. 

Closing his eyes at the gentle pressure of Remus’ fingers, he could almost forget everything that had happened today. How Patton had almost trash-talked his lovers, and how certain he was that Deceit and Remus were toxic for him. How despite everything he had said, Virgil hadn’t been able to stop the others from intervening in his new life. How they had tricked him into showing up, just so that they could make his about ‘how much they missed him’. And… How the look of regret on Thomas’ face really hadn’t made him feel any better, despite being happy right where he was. 

He wanted to forget it all, even if the day hadn’t been a complete and total failure. 

Remus shifted behind him, and those fingers that had been massaging his scalp slowly moved to rub up and down his back. “Logan?” The creative side asked, his voice uncharacteristically soft in this moment of weakness for all of them. “What happened today? What… what did they do? Did they hurt you?”And finally, much more softly… “Talk to us Lo, we’re here…”

Just the sheer weight of both Remus’ and Deceit’s words combined made Logan want to crumble into a weak pile of mushy emotions and feelings, and it was a weight he most certainly did not want to give into right now. Just the idea of openly admitting that he was feeling hurt, that he was feeling sad, or just feeling, in general, made him want to instinctively pull away from it all. To just sink into the numbness that he was so used to being in before, he wanted that again… just to have words both kind and hurtful alike to just roll off of him again. Except… that couldn’t happen if Deceit and Remus were worrying about him. 

Peeking over Deceit’s shoulder, Logan eyed the color cards that the two dark sides had been looking at before he had shown up. 

“You’ve been looking at color cards without me?” It was a poor and shitty attempt to change the subject away from what he was currently feeling, so poor in fact… that he could practically feel the irritation rolling off of Deceit and Remus in waves. That and their eyerolls, as he tried to avoid the subject of emotions in general. It had never been his strong suit, and now… in the presence of the two people who knew his weakest spots…

He couldn’t help but to feel completely helpless against them. 

A rough growl bubbled in Remus’ chest, so loud that Logan could feel the vibrations of his chest against his back. “Logan,” The creative side began, as his fingers curled back up towards the nape of his neck, his brushing over the logical side’s pulse point and the dark muted purple of the hickey that either Remus or Deceit had left the previous night. “Don’t... “ He softly warned, not necessarily as a threat to Logan… but as a desperate plea for the other side to just stop trying to run…

For Logan to stop running from them. 

Just the feeling of Remus’ gentle fingers against those love spots on his neck made Logan weak, like a dish of butter that had been left out too long and had grown soft from the warmth. His hands trembled where he held Deceit, and his lips which had previously formed a smirk to hide it all away, not trembled as the well of emotions threatened to be his undoing. He couldn’t fight them, not in the same way that he had always fought the others.

Not them. 

Never them.

“It was a trick,” Logan mumbled into Deceit’s neck.

Just for Remus to blink back at him, clearly bewildered and more than a little confused about just what Logan meant by what he had just said to them. 

“A trick,” The creative side parroted back, sharing a concerned look with Deceit as Logan finally let the dishonest side go, just to nonchalantly play with the color cards that he and Deceit had been bickering over before Logan had come back. “A trick? What kind of trick? Like when you saw off someone’s leg and put it back? Making someone disappear? What kind of trick did they pull on you?” Remus asked, with each second that Logan didn’t answer getting more and more peeved at the side that had once dared to call Logan a part of their family. “What did they do Logan?” He could feel his blood starting to boil, and his teeth to sink the sharp spikes of his morning star right into someone’s flesh or skull.

He wasn’t all that picky, to be honest.  So long as someone’s blood spilled this fine fine day.

An irritated huff left Logan, “They asked Thomas to call for me, so that I’d think that he needed me for something. But he didn’t, he didn’t need me…” Logan tried to hide it, but the sniffle that came through got to them anyways, as the logical side’s eyes shiny with tears yet to be shed glared down at the counter. “I went for nothing, I got ready for nothing, and I… I fucking cared for nothing.” He growled, unable to stop the whimper that was crawling up in his throat. “It was all for nothing…” 

In that moment alone, as Remus felt a dark pit of something grow in his belly… he had never before felt hate like he did now. 

His lips curled in a dissatisfied snarl that left him wanting to snap at anything he could, if only just to shed their blood and make them feel even the tiniest sliver of the hurt that Logan was. He wanted to pound their head into the concrete floor, until their wails of pain became nothing more than the sound of gurgling as they choked on their own blood. He wanted them to drown in their pain, until it was the only thing that they could see and feel. He wanted them to scream, until their voice box blooded and broken wouldn’t even allow them to make so much as a croaking noise. He wanted… he wanted…

He wanted them to stop. 

In an instant Deceit shot him a dead serious look, a look that told him he would be staying right there. And precisely NOT carving his way through the light sides until his blood lust was satiated, just so that he could bring Logan back all of their hearts on a stick no matter how much he wanted to. A part of him wanted to growl at Deceit, to bare his teeth and go anyways just to show the other side that he could do exactly that. However, the pointed look and Deceit’s arms already curling around Logan’s back stopped him dead in tracks. 

He wouldn’t be going anywhere today, for any reason.  

“Logan,” He began, his leg jiggling up and down where he stood until he had the logical side’s attention directly on him. “What do you want to do then? We’re here, and we’re not going to leave. So… what would you like to do?” Be it revenge, murder, or just nothing at all… Remus would do it, he’d let Logan carve out his heart and eat it in front of him if that was what the logical side so desired. 

Regardless if it broke him in the process. 

He’d let even give him the knife to do it with. 

Wiping his hands over his eyes though, Logan sighed one of those deep bone-weary sighs that made Remus want to whine again. “I just… I want to forget about it all.” He grumbled, sounding thoroughly done with all of the others. “I want to fix up my room, and just relax for once without having them bother me. I want to have a peaceful day with my two lovers, and forget the idiots who don’t have anything better to do.” Logan finally said, finally lifting his eyes up from the counter so that he could look at his partners. 

That was easy enough, Remus decided as he nodded. 

The tiny smile on Logan’s face said it all, and he’d fight to keep that smile there. 

“So…” Deceit trailed off, “Do you know what you want to do with your room?” 

Without even the slightest hint of hesitation, Logan nodded as an almost sly smirk curled onto his lips. It was the kind of smirk that made Deceit’s toes and fingertips tingle, and made Remus all too eager to sink his teeth into Logan’s shoulder again. 

“Yes, I know exactly where to start.” Logan began and with one wave of his hand every little thing was gone, “From the ground up!” 

Every book was gone, every shelf, every scrap of paper, and even the floors and walls so that the only thing that was in the space that used to be Logan’s room… was a blank white space. And while Logan was still grinning that proud little smile, Deceit shot a look at Remus seeing his own concern mirrored there. They had both sort of expected that Logan would want to change a few things around, perhaps a new color for his walls, or just some different posters and books. Not… taking every little thing away and starting anew like this, it was a little surprising to say the least. 

Not that they were complaining, this just meant that… Logan was taking to being a dark side a whole lot faster than either of them had thought that he would be. 

However, he couldn’t help but to start a little as soon as Logan’s hands slipped into both of theirs, “Now,” the logical side began giving them both a squeeze as genuine warmth filled his voice as he gazed at them with far more affection than either of them ever really deserved. “What do you two suggest? I’m personally partial to my old blue, but with a little bit of a twist. What do you think?”   

There was a beat of silence, and then… 

“You want our help?” Deceit couldn’t help the surprise that colored his tone, he honestly just couldn’t. Even Virgil hadn’t wanted their help when he had first formed, he had been determined to do it by himself and not listen to a single bit of advice that came from them, regardless if it was actually good advice. 

Logan though, Logan simply blinked back at the dishonest side’s confusion and surprise as if Deceit’s outburst was the most confusing thing he had seen all day.

“Of course,” Logan gently murmured, as his thumb ran over the other’s exposed knuckles and the patches of scales that dotted his hand. “I want you two to be comfortable in my room should you two ever decide to sleep here, and I value your opinion on what would look good and what wouldn’t. So yes Dee… I would very much like your help.” The soft look that came from the logical side was almost enough to make Deceit’s knees quake. “So I am asking… will the both of you help me with my room?” 

“Yes!” Remus blurted out without even giving Deceit anytime to make the red scarlet that had dusted itself over his cheeks, time enough to fade so that half of his face didn’t look like he had gotten a sunburn. “So long as I can decorate the bathroom!” Just from the grin on Remus’ face, he could very well tell that whatever he had in mind… it would either be needlessly crude, or just downright disgusting. 

But even so… 

“It must be hygienic,” Logan interrupted as if waiting a second too long would make Remus’ ideas come to life right before his very eyes, letting go of their hands, Logan squished Remus’ cheeks together before leaning in so that Remus had nowhere to look but his eyes. “Hygienic Remus, by my standards okay? You can do whatever else, but it must be a clean and functioning bathroom, okay. At least that.” He said, giving Remus’ cheeks one last squeeze together before finally letting them go, although… if the creative side’s flustered look was anything to go by…

He wouldn’t have minded if Logan had done it again. 

Without even a moment of hesitation, Remus’ arms locked around Logan’s waist sending the logical side crashing into his chest. Burying his nose into the other side’s neck Remus inhaled deeply, breathing in all of the scents that served to perfectly make up his dear logical side. He could have stood there for hours taking in that smell. That comforting smell aroma of freshly cut grass, of ink, of the rosy shampoo that Logan had been borrowing from Deceit, and just… everything that made Remus weak in the knees for their resident smart ass. Then without so much as a moment’s notice, Remus’ hands slipped down, easily grasping ahold of Logan’s ass giving it a firm squeeze. 

“I like it when you talk serious to me,” He mouthed into Logan’s neck, thoroughly enjoying the pink hue that had taken over the tips of Logan’s ears. “But you can trust me, Dame, I’ll make everything… just right.” And with one last squeeze, he all too easily slips past Logan making his way to what used to be the bathroom of Logan’s room. 

But not before, giving Deceit a similar gesture of his love, delighting in the startled squeak of a noise that leaves his other lover’s mouth. 

“So then,” Logan says as he clears his throat, obviously trying to get the remains of the blush to vacate his face. “Why don’t we start with the floor?” 

It feels like hours later when his room is finally done. 

The carpeted floors that he used to have are nowhere to be seen, instead, it was a nice dark cherry wood is what he and Deceit decided on. Even the ceiling is different, reflecting the starry night sky that was on Logan’s face, so that he could fall asleep to it every night without having to go to the imagination for such a sight. His walls though had retained a slightly darker version of the blue that they had once been painted as before, the pictures that had hung on them before nowhere to be seen. Even the shelves that had once been full of books feel a little barren to him now with only Roman’s Christmas gift on it, although Logan was certain that over time he’ll fill them up well enough with memories and books the more years that he spends with Remus and Deceit. The layout of his room is largely the same, only this time with his new massive bed pushed against the wall. Remus could never stand to have his back facing the open when he slept, so it was no trouble to Logan to help him fix that particular problem. 

His room feels bigger now, like there was way too much space for just one side to be now that it was less cluttered with all of the things that Patton and the others had given him. It felt… almost intimidating to fill, but it was his to fill.

Nobody else’s.

 Logan jolts a little as Deceit’s hand slips into his, “It looks great dearest,” The other side tells him, his honesty on full display for Logan. This time it’s Deceit’s thumb that runs over Logan’s knuckles as if comforting the logical side in the choices that had led him to this moment, “You did this Logan, all of this. You made it.” 

He had though, hadn’t he? 

Even with Deceit and Remus’ help, he had picked out his own style, his new form, and even his bedroom so that it suited him more than his old ways had. It didn’t matter if he had needed help, or if it had felt impossible at the very start of things, what mattered was that he had actually done it. He had put everything that had been holding him back before… truly behind him, so that he could focus on only the positives in his life now, and focusing on trying to get better. He had done it, no matter how difficult it had been to start. 

He had done it. 

Glancing over to Deceit, Logan felt something warm worming its way into his chest. And without even thinking, he tugged the other side close, wrapping his arms around him so that he could kiss the top of Deceit’s head. 

“Thank you,” He honestly told the other, no amount of running from his feelings could hide this from Deceit or himself, “Thank you so so much, Dee, you don’t even know-” Cutting himself off, Logan leaned down again, pressing their lips tight against one another until he felt the dishonest side go lax against him. “Thank you, for caring… and thank you for loving me the way that you do.” He whispered, giving the other side only a moment to breathe before their lips met again, Deceit’s fingers practically clawing at his back in an effort to keep their kiss going and keep his warmth with him. 

Logan didn’t need to be told twice though, as he backed the other side towards the bed, trailing his harsh rough kisses down the dishonest side’s neck sucking his own mark there. It was big and obvious for anyone who happened to even glance at Deceit, even with his raised collar it wouldn’t be enough to hide it. Not that either of them were complaining about that, they all delighted in putting their own marks on each other as if to say. ‘I am here… I am here for you and I will always be here for you even after this mark fades away.’ He had never been much of a romantic, but with these two…

He was starting to become one, and maybe that wasn’t so bad.

Looking down at Deceit, at his flushed cheeks and flustered expression… he definitely could get used to being a romantic...  

“I finished the bathroom!” Remus declared triumphantly as he slammed open the bathroom door as if he had just gotten done wrestling with a lion. A green lion if the state of his person was anything to go by. “I demand payment,” He grinned, the green flecks and splatters of paint completely covering the side of his face, as if he had decided to take a nap in the paint bucket instead of actually doing his work. His eyes zeroed in on the new bed, a new kind of energy taking him over. “And to be the first one on the bed, but first payment.” He wiggled, that restless energy finally coming to a stop in front of Logan as he leaned down for the logical side clearly expecting a kiss for his valiant efforts. 

The fondness that swept through Logan at the sight of the paint-splattered creative side almost took his breath away. Just looking at him and into his playfully glinting maroon eyes, Logan could only feel the warmth of what could only be described as love. 

However, knowing Remus.. 

Logan leaned up as if he were about to meet those green painted lips of his. “You’ll get your reward my love,” He whispered, grinning to himself as he saw just how eager Remus really was for his kiss, and just how much Remus was really holding himself back from just stealing a kiss from Logan. “When I see what on earth you’ve done to my bathroom.” 

The whine that left Remus’ lips was almost laughable.

But regardless of any pouting he could do, Remus crossed his arms as he led Logan back to where he had just trekked paint from. Although, if the impossibly proud look in his eyes had anything to say about it, then it couldn’t be too bad, what he had done. Right? 

Right?  

“Did you replace my towel rack with dildos?!” Logan exclaimed, given that it was the first thing that he noticed the very moment that he stepped into the new bathroom. Just the sheer oddity of it, had almost reached out and slapped him across the face. “Why?” He wasn’t angry but he also couldn’t help but to almost demand an answer, as he ran his fingers through his messy hair, confusion perplexing him more than anything. 

Remus practically skipped over to the offending items, tapping them so that they wiggled in a very not good manner that made Logan want to avert his eyes forever. “Just in case you got lonely without us!” The creative side gleefully stated, clearly a little more than ecstatic about Logan’s reactions to his creative pursuits in his bathroom. He definitely looked proud, with his fingers eagerly jittered and his body continued to wiggle happily. 

Logan got the feeling that this was the first time in a very… very long time that anyone had ever let Remus do anything creatively in something that wasn’t his own room. 

But even so… Logan couldn’t help but to sigh as he pinched the bridge of his nose. “Remus…” Logan uttered the other side’s name with a sigh he so desperately tried to keep from being exhaustion, for fear of actually hurting Remus’ feelings on the matter of his ‘creative liberties’. But even so... “I will be able to live a few hours or even a couple of days without being in the same bed as you and Dee. I won’t die.” He tried to explain, hoping more than anything that the pure logic of their situation would resolve itself. 

Remus, however, seemed to deflate a little, his previous energy shriveling to something so small that internally Logan wanted to take it all back. 

Remus let his hands fall flat against his side, “So…” The creative side mumbled, in the kind of voice that made Logan almost squirm. “Do you want me to get rid of them?” 

Looking at them Logan felt divided on the subject at hand, logically… he had no use for them. They were dildos and lord knows he would never use one of them for their intended purposes, no matter how much Remus had joked about the topic. However… Remus had put them there, he had put them there and had been proud of them, proud of the one thing that he had been allowed to do and help in his own way. He really really didn’t want them there in the way that they were now, but… 

“How about this,” Grasping Remus’ green stained hand and cringingly to himself at the mess that stained his fingers, Logan quirked a tiny little smile, the kind of smile that was reserved mainly for Deceit and Remus. “Why don’t you paint them with glow in the dark paint? Or make them into lights, it’ll be an interesting art project and I’ll keep them up.” As Remus’ manic grin started to return, slowly at first he added. “I won’t use them in the way that you’re suggesting Remus, but I can… aesthetically appreciate them. Will that be good?”   

It was good, wasn’t it? Compromising instead of just demanding that he have his way and making someone else feel awful? It was good, he was good… right? 

For just a second there was a moment of silence, in where Remus’ face was completely unreadable for Logan. But not before in less than a second, Remus’ arms had once again found their way around his waist seizing him flush against the other side, although this time instead of just resting there the Duke used his strength to physically lift the logical side. Just to bury his face into the others breast bone, squeezing him so very tight as he spun him around regardless of the paint staining his clothing getting all over Logan in the process. The squeal of glee that left Remus, made Logan pause in the noise of alarm that was about to leave his lips as he caught a glimpse of the truly happy expression all over Remus’ face.

“I’ll give you truly stellar dicks my dear dear Dame, I’ll paint stars all over them and make them glow in the dark for you!” Remus eagerly chattered, the fire in his eyes burning more brightly than ever before, as he practically threw Logan over his shoulder keeping a rather firm grip on both Logan and his legs so that he wouldn’t fall down his back and land on his head. “It’ll be perfect for you,” He proudly declared as he kissed the side of Logan’s stomach, given that it was the only part available to him. All while silently relishing in the shiver that ran through Logan at his touch. “But first...” He purred, making a beeline out of the bathroom and towards the new bed.        

Deceit had already seated himself on it, perfectly in the middle waiting for them a shit-eating grin on his face if there ever was one.      

“But first…” Deceit mimicked, that grin curling even wider.

Logan didn’t fight as Remus threw him onto the massive bed, and he didn’t fight it as Deceit climbed over the pillows and blankets to make his way to Logan’s face. His kisses no more than feathery soft butterfly kisses being peppered all over his face and lips, Logan eagerly kissing back when he could. Just for Remus to join in on the foray, as the creative side caressed Logan’s palms, placing his own gentle kisses on each one of the logical side’s digits before moving to his wrist and up his arm. Logan could only lay there as his two lovers covered him in kisses, his eyes fluttering shut at the sheer gentleness of it all.     

This wasn’t like their first night, where he had woken up with hickies up and down his body. Where they had all lost themselves in the passion of coming together for their first time, this… this was something different. 

“Just relax,” Deceit whispered against his lips, as his fingers threading Logan’s hair as his nails ran against the logical side’s scalp, all while Remus’ hands pushed up Logan’s shirt exposing enough of his soft stomach for the creative side to kiss. This felt different than their usual kisses, this felt almost like… “And just let us love you just as you deserve.” Remus mouthed against his side, only smiling when he felt the tense muscles in Logan’s body, muscles that had been tense ever since he had come back from the lights, finally relax. 

And under their caring and watchful gaze… and lips, Logan finally closed his eyes. 

At peace. 

[notasiren21]

To those who want to kill themselves:

I’m not going to sugarcoat this at all. I’ll be gentle at times and then rather aggressive. And for good reason...

Because you deserve to fucking live.

I’m aware there’s blatant bullying, discreet and subtle bullying that makes you question if you’re just being sensitive and taking things too seriously (most of the time you’re not, trust me), neglect, familial issues, and then situational instances that pound into your heart and head consistently.

Believe it or not, but the cliché term of “it does get better” is true, just as long as you yourself is willing to check its validity and try.

I thought of several ways like drowning myself in the bathtub and hoping my fingertips would slip on the rims so I couldn’t pull myself up when my body got weak/ holding a knife to my chest while crying/ contemplating on just taking those three steps into the road when I was supposed to get the mail/ jumping off my balcony/ finishing off my oxycodone pills from a wisdom teeth surgery/ etc.

Maybe I’m a coward or was weak, but I could never follow through with it. Just left with that same bottle lying in a medicine basket somewhere or had a brief puncture mark on my chest that just broke the skin with the tip, whatever.

Crying myself to sleep almost every night because it was too much.

Honestly, I think being a coward and weak was the best thing to happen to me.

I lost a boyfriend from how much my anxiety and suicidal thoughts consumed me and had to tell my parents why I was dumped which led to me seeing their faces when I fessed up and said “I’m not happy, I’m not okay”.

It’s funny because I’ve had a cry for help several times through stuff I’ve written and published on fanfic sites, stuff I’ve given to my teacher to read senior year, literally telling my AP Lit class two years ago I was depressed and thought suicidal shit (only 8 of us in that class and teacher) and being told “it’s just like that sometimes, gotta shake it off”, “don’t let people’s words get to you”, “yea, same” and having a teacher pretend like she heard nothing.

That one time I was brave, and I was waved off.

I know there are times where you finally find your voice for that one split second and then you’re ignored, and you feel yourself rescinding back to mute and distant.

I know you’re plastering a smile on constantly to fool others because you’re afraid what will happen when they find out.

It sucks, doesn’t it?

When you hear so many voices in your head playing that record on repeat of the things you most want to forget. Having those nightmares occur where someone takes the final step to push you to your edge. Seeing the annoyed rolling of eyes or blatant show of disinterest of you.

Nine years of schooling, because after 3rd grade, I was just one of those girls who females decided to hate for breathing or asking a question. So nine years I was trying not to victimize myself in my head and justifying why everyone acted the way they did to me.

Teenage girls and teachers alike made my life hell. The girls never gave me the chance and teachers treated me like I was some lost cause that couldn’t even make it to merit roll and like my work was shit.

“Oh, you sure you can make it into the media production film? I don’t think you’ll be able to make shows like you planned. Maybe try for something else.”

“Your writing is, it’s okay. Try harder next time.”

I struggled with grades in high school and wondered if I’d even graduate.

I made the president’s list my first year of college. Got straight A’s. My English professors loved to leave excited feedback on my essays and were amazed how quickly I could conjure one up and fix my own mistakes before peer review.

My professors talked about me to one another and when I met the new ones, they already knew of me.

My history professor begged me to write a poem for a book he’s writing and publishing near 2021.

My creative writing professor attacked me with an email of compliments over a chapter book of poems I wrote where i took them in the order written so it was me at my worst, to me fooling myself, to me losing and falling back, to me trying for help, to me being the best I’ve ever been. >I also made him cry in a class writing experiment with less than 300 words.

(Idk maybe the bitch is that sensitive but he was chill)

My point is: fucking block out what other people say or do to you. Tell someone you trust you need help and stop kidding yourself.

And please, for the love of god, if it is really that bad then do not make yourself so naive into believing a friend or partner can take the brunt of it all and fix you.

It may work for some time, but if you’re still suffering, they will too and neither of you will win in the end.

I took to therapy and it worked. And I dropped all the toxic shit out of my life and moved on.

I may not use social media besides Tumblr or Discord, but I’m more present in life than I was before and not comparing myself to others anymore.

I dropped friends that made me feel bad and bashed things I liked or would cause issues and I have a peace of mind (as much as one can have one during a pandemic and such).

Get the help. Find ways to receive help if you can’t financially afford it. Find that courage to tell someone you trust that listens to you that you are suffering and need that professional help and to be taken seriously.

I was the first to walk the graduation stage of my 2019 class, and I thought I’d be the first of us to die because I couldn’t move past everything I’ve endured from a large majority of them.

I would’ve missed how positively my life turned around.

I would’ve destroyed my parents, little sister, and brother for being so selfish.

I’m the middle child, the good kid with a career in mind and the mediator of the family. And I’m used to not being the favorite but appreciated one.

My dad confessed to me that I was his favorite and I never want to hear it again.

You never want to hear a man you see as the strongest person you know say that while trying not to cry and keep his voice normal, you don’t want to hear “You were always my favorite” said in such a thick voice it brings tears to your eyes.

Your life matters.

This isn’t Sims where you can move on to the next household member. This isn’t like throwing LEGO R2-D2 off a cliff with that iconic scream only or lose a few coins. This isn’t a fucking game.

And I am so sick of hearing people treat it like some quest you get once in your life:

“You’ll be okay.”

“Cheer up.”

“It’s just a phase.”

Etc.

It’s all fucking bullshit. We live in a world that sugarcoats the severity of someone’s life when it’s presented in front of us while on the precipice of shattering.

You deserve to live. Anyone who tells you otherwise is the one who loses the right to be considered human or a person, not you.

Do not let someone dictate your life’s outcome because they don’t agree with you or like you.

And please, for all that is good in this world, don’t fool yourself into thinking you’re alright when you don’t feel it.

Hang in for one extra day to gather the strength and tell someone you need help.

Everyone acts so ashamed of it but it was the best thing that happened to me after being such a weak coward and now, I’m genuinely happy. And it was a lot of work to get here.

Want to know where all my angst and suffering had gone to? Just ask the characters in the books and fanfic content I’ve written. I’m sure they don’t appreciate it, but those stories wouldn’t exist if I gave up then.

And believe it or not, people will fucking miss you like hell if you killed yourself. It’s just too hard to see it right now and I was blinded before too.

Not everyone has the same opinion of you. Not everyone matters in your life.

You’re living this life singlehandedly by yourself while surrounded by others experiencing the same thing. Don’t let that opportunity go to waste.

And if you need distractions, indulge yourself in the harmless guilty pleasures like I do.

It can get better if you just open yourself to it.

It can get better if you get help.

You really must be so tired, isn’t it time you stopped pretending?