#i got enough of them blocked that i'm unlikely to get a lot of crazies

[antianakin]

@theneutralmime

I imagine you could PROBABLY interpret it either way since, like you mention, they're not SUPER explicit about what the Jedi do or do not know about Anakin's past aside from Obi-Wan telling Ahsoka about it in TCW.

But I think it seems unrealistic to assume the Jedi DON'T know about Anakin's past. There's a lot of Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan's report to the Council we don't get to see and ten years of Anakin's apprenticeship that never gets explored. I find it pretty unlikely that Obi-Wan would know (either because Qui-Gon explained it at some point during TPM we don't get to see or because Anakin explains it post-TPM) and not pass that information along to at least the Council.

I think whether the Jedi treat everyone the same or make exceptions for special circumstances would likely vary based on the situation. For example, Anakin is clearly expected to follow the same rules and guidelines as any Jedi, he has to follow the Code, and he has clearly been taught the no attachments/possession rule. BUT, we do also see the Council be RELATIVELY lenient towards him when he pushes back against them during TCW in particular. He doesn't tend to get much more than a verbal slap on the wrist for things like making the entire Council wait for HOURS as he plays house with Padme instead of reporting to them when they call. Mace and Yoda both advise Obi-Wan to be more lenient towards him in AOTC, to let him make his own mistakes and learn from them. Yoda tells him in season 6 that it is his spontaneity that makes him different from other Jedi and that this is a strength, not a weakness. In that same arc, Yoda has a vision of sorts where he literally has to "save Anakin from falling." So I think you could argue that the Jedi ARE aware that Anakin's upbringing makes him different and that they DO make allowances for it where possible, but that they also expect him to follow the same general guidelines and rules as any other Jedi.

You could make the argument that this is how they handle everyone, we see them be fairly lenient towards Ahsoka, as well, right up until she gets accused of a serious crime and they can't just handle the issue internally. The Jedi ALWAYS make allowances for people, they ALWAYS make allowances for differences between their members that require different kinds of support rather than strict punishment and enforcement of uniformity. So you could say the Jedi DO treat him like everyone else because they treat EVERYONE individually since you never really know what specific kind of support each person is going to need, it's not necessarily always going to be the same and it's not going to be the same all the time even for the same person either. The Jedi adjust for EVERYONE and so while they might have to make slightly more or slightly different adjustments for Anakin than they've made for other initiates/padawans before him, they wouldn't be unused to the concept of making adjustments IN GENERAL. Ahsoka herself was raised by a loving family until she was brought to the Jedi and raised pretty normally among the Jedi, but we see them make adjustments for her, too. She's allowed to become a padawan earlier than usual due to her being advanced for her age. So this is just... what the Jedi DO.

[birthdaycakeplate]

same anon asking for Blitzbee fic recommendations, tried to message you but unfortunately your account is set to only people you follow doing that.

but hmmm, I'd say my personal taste in fics are actually slow burns, I really like fics that focus on Blitzwing and Bee forming an unlikely relationship based on their 'home lives' in a sense of it, where neither are understood and often viewed as annoyances/loose canons leading both to a feeling of isolation and a mild desperation/willingness to connect with anyone even at the risk of 'treason' for interacting with the other side.

I also enjoy the progression for Blitzwing of seeing Bumblebee as a harmless amusement to him somehow becoming a bit of a hyper focus that causes the big bad con to develop some empathy and *gasp* morals.

Meanwhile Bee is just a cocky little bastard who refuses to accept Blitzwing as the actual threat he is and then feelings are caught when his view of the world is shifted and he finds out Decepticons are also actually just people with complex feelings and motivations (also bonus if break down of autobots 'all warbuilds are evil because' bs is broken down)

I realize now I'm rambling so apologies its just a very fun ship to babble about.

If I was to ask for any fic, if you could set one in your Nemesis AU that be amazing, the size difference you give in that is spectacular like omg I stare so politely.

Also the concept is just very fun to me and I'd love to see that au world expanded.

As for spicy content I don't really have any ideas? Sorry I'm actually terrible at writing it my only preferences are Blitz top and preferably consensual.

for ease if we keep talking like this I'll sign off as

Curiosity

GOD, of course I invited you to talk with me and then blocked you from doing that elekkeem 🌝 I think I fixed my messaging where I’ll get your stuff now, if you’d like to try again ���� I swear I’m always this dysfunctional.

But anyway, your message here is good, true, andfantastic. I CRY. Your view on the ship is perfect and pure D,8

I LOVE when Blitzwing is stunned when his desire to squash the useless yellow gnat and be done with him is suddenly evaporated by the sudden realization this guy is slowly becoming the only thing in his life fun and full of life (and kind of precious if he’s being honest, ok???). Because their chemistry is crazy- they’re both wrekcless little freaks when left to their own devices, but full time loyal, fucked up little creatures to the ones closest to them. The handful Blitzwing can afford to let in to his life, even if ‘friends’ isn’t the word he’d use, and the few Bumblebee can make real connections with, when he’s a mischievous ant with a complex to make ‘something great’ of himself.

But he already IS great and bad boy Blitzwing needs to make it his immediate life’s goal to get that through to him and give him lots of love. (I ramble, too, you’re in good company)

I’m bad at stating my thoughts, I get overwhelmed when it’s my own emotions. But I typed and retyped something along the lines of how I’m noticing we have lots of similarities here in terms of what our favorite flavor of Blitzbee is 🩷🩷🩷 I bet lots of ppl who read this would agree with you and appreciate you throwing out there the love language of these complete messes of men✨

Does that mean my attempt to translate these tastes into fiction beside my ideas will make for good reading and also provide you a happy source of top Blitz/blitzbee? God, I HOPE so. You deserve it and I’m going to try.

I have the first chapter half written, because-

OH MY GOD, YOU LIKE MY AUTBOTS JOIN THE NEMESIS AU STUFF EKEKKEE

OoooOOOHhhh aAHHHHHHHH

I SCREEEEEEAM 💕💕💕 thank you???!!! That means so much to ME and makes me insanely happy, because I was so surprised when you said that, and I REALIZED how amazing it is to hear a thing like that. That I’ve got a thing going I didn’t imagine would become liked enough for a fic request for it.

I’m hoping to finish this first chapter by next Friday. Probably sooner than that? But I’m scared life won’t allow it. Thanks for your messages💕

(The other anons who messaged me, too, about some top Blitzwing fic stuff, I see you and I’m elated to hear from so many of you, thank you✨)

[crystalelemental]

Alright, I'm in the vibe for some of this month's pairs, so let's give one more Gauntlet Sweep with Akari.

Vs. Tapu Bulu I just realized these are organized from most recent to most ancient game release. Wild. Anyway. Tapu Bulu started what you may notice is the combo. BP Olivia actually works really well with Akari, buffing both defenses and supplying the recovery from gradual healing. Her pop healing is good enough that Akari won't be distracted by Potion use too much, keeping her Buddy move's damage at its maximum. My Olivia is sadly not EX, so I couldn't go full crazy on Akari, but it's sufficient. I would also point out here, yes my Akari is 5/5. I got really lucky on the scouts.

Vs. Tornadus Lana's not a bad pick either. Unlike Roxanne, Akari doesn't have perfect gauge management, but 2-gauge spam and the TM giving +4 speed isn't atrocious. It's not great, either. But it can work out okay. Lana's the kind of defensive pick that can make use of Akari's Potion in a pinch.

Vs. Terrakion I had to do at least one with Dawn. Terrakion is a good one, because Dawn cuts off its physical attack boosting while Akari just beats it down. Her damage field counts for its Clear Advantage, so she's just a pure beatdown.

Vs. Cobalion I went back to Lana to avoid Dawn being the easy answer. Unfortunately, you need paralysis, so I brought Norman. It's fine.

Vs. Azelf This is where BP Olivia took off. She has access to Stalwart/Unbending, which is ideal to counterpick Azelf. In truth? This feels like her niche over Morty and Clemont. She's incredibly sturdy, even against Azelf. And the 5/5 really worked out here; debuffing defenses per hit let Akari keep wailing on it even with its damage reduction.

Vs. Uxie Uxie's also pretty easily handled by Olivia, we just need BP Erika for Trap/Toxic combo, otherwise we're hard walled. I went with Erika over Lucy, because Olivia already supplies Gradual Healing, which is redundant with Lucy.

Vs. Latios Easy enough, Akari just beats the shit out of them. Again, Olivia's Stalwart/Unbending combo is nice here, completely blocking Latios' bullshit.

Vs. Latias Okay, this one was a challenge. Latias could beat us, if Olivia missed. The main benefit of Akari is that her buddy move can't miss. But her main move can. So you really want to end bar 1 with regular Ceaseless Edge, to set up a long duration for Buddy move. But as you may guess, Olivia needs to hit like every attack, in order to avoid the mid-bar +6 from annihilating all hope. Fluid Fortification gets nasty. It's frankly riskier than it's entirely worth. But they can do it as a duo.

Vs. Registeel This is approximately what I did for Gauntlet. Akari at 5/5 absolutely annihilates this idiot. Without 5/5, Akari offers basically nothing in this fight, you'd need a trio to manage defense. But with 5/5, it's the hardest dunk on this list.

Vs. Regirock Regirock is much tougher. You need the flinch, or Akari just takes too much and it gets out of hand. That said, we missed flinch on the Iron Defense, so it got to block a ton of crits. Akari still pushed through. Her DPS is ridiculous.

Vs. Entei Getting a bit redundant, but Olivia also has Quick Cure, so she beats Entei's Fire Spin. By the time you get to the last bar, Akari's able to pop trainer move and blow it away in like two moves, even through burn. BP Morty is another option to flinch them.

Vs. Raikou Akari can't quite OHKO the sides pre-sync, but she comes close. She's strong enough to handle a lot of this. Also if you have Strike role, she'd probably one-shot on sync. Akari's a bit ridiculous.

Final Thoughts Akari's draw is her absurd DPS. Her Buddy move is absurdly overpowered, and if you have 5/5, it's completely over. I think lower move levels would have a much worse time with all of this. You're dealing with a lot less damage because you don't have any defense debuffs. But also, eggmons exist, and most of these are duos. Sincerely, you can just slap like Lickitung or Parasect on these fights, and cover most gimmicks and still have your debuffs. It's not a huge ask.

The oddity of Akari is that her sync kinda sucks, but she's still great at Gauntlet. Figure that out. I think it speaks well to the power of her Buddy move that she's a poor sync nuker who still pushes through. The lack of conditions like Emma and SS Lysandre, where stages can just deny the entire gimmick, makes her relatively hard to stop as well. In most situations, the DPS of pairs like this get stops cold by stages that counteract you, but nothing really blocks Akari's damage field. It's funny, really, seeing Damage Field contribute. I know it's mostly in how it unlocks better damage for her moves, but I think that's a sane approach. The damage fields can't be stopped, nor as far as I'm aware, overwritten by one another. It's an incredibly free condition to apply, so as far as multipliers go, it's about as safe as Restrain. Big fan of the design of this kit.

[bokutoslittlebird]

Hey I'm new on your blog but I'm so in love it 😭💕 I wanted to ask if you maybe could pls do a headcanon/ scenario with the shiratorizawa with a actually chaotic,sweet manager who snaps of one day and shows her rlly angry side because somebody was talking shit about (only a example)Tendou for being a monster or making fun of Goshikis hair ? Like they rlly want to protect their boys. I rlly hope it's not to much :(

It’s not too much at all! I hope these are to your liking, I decided to go with a slightly similar example you gave (also: protect Tendō Satori club? This boy needs a hug).

Protective Manager! Shiratorizawa ver.

-> You’re a blessing to these boys. Everyone loves you. Sweet enough to have everyone obsessed, but crazy enough to know you’re real, if that makes sense. As the manager of Shiratorizawa, one of the things Coach Washijō was worried about was if you had ulterior motives. Words were useless unless you could prove yourself, but like how it was with the boys and matches — show to him you’re worthy of being on the team.

-> It took a couple of months, but you proved yourself one day. At first, you were introduced to the club through Kawanishi, your classmate, so you didn’t know much about the third years. When Tendō seemed down one day, you were kind of confused until Kawanishi explained the situation.

-> Some girls were commenting on how attractive the guys of the school were. When Tendō passed by, they had nothing good to say. It hurt your feelings that they’d be so rude to someone, especially with that person right in front of them! You decided to sit down and talk to Tendō, telling him that the opinion of those girls were shallow and selfish, and that he deserved better. With sweet words, you got yourself closer to the third years, especially Tendō, and proved to Coach Washijō you were there for the team.

-> A few months later, it was Shirabu who had a new girlfriend. You didn’t like her very much, she seemed too fake to you, but didn’t say anything. Shirabu seemed happy with her and the team had no objections to her coming to their practice after school. When she showed up with some friends, however, things got complicated. They were distracting the boys and kept making crude comments about them.

-> One of the girls piped up with a question directed at you, however. It startled you, but you let them go on ahead and ask. Her question? “Which boy are you here for?” The nerve! You glared at her and told her you were there for the team, as they needed a manager, but she just rolled her eyes and told you that was unlikely. It took a lot to not snap at her, instead focusing on the practice match.

-> When Tendō successfully blocked the opposing team (it was a three on three, so he blocked Goshiki’s spikes), you cheered for him as he did a dance. That’s when you snapped. The girls started giggling and joked about how low your standards were if you liked Tendō, or as they said, “that one.” That’s what really pissed you off.

“What the hell did you say?” You practically growled at the girl. Her giggling fit stopped as she glared right back. The girl, Hana, happened to be the same girl who said something rude to Tendō a few months ago. How she got with Shirabu, you have no clue. She didn’t answer you, just looking at you. “If you’re not going to shut the fuck up, get out,”

“No, you’re not the boss of me,” scoffing, she flipped her black hair over her shoulder.

“I said get the fuck out of my gym and don’t be disrespecting my boys ever again. You’re so shallow and insensitive, there’s no reason for cheap bitches like you to be here. So get out,”

“Wow, rude much?” Another girl, Haruka, piped up with.

“Oh? Rude? So calling Tendō a slimy swamp monster isn’t rude, but me telling you to leave because you’re disrespectful is? The only slime creatures are you, so I’ll say it again. Leave,”

“Or what?”

You sigh, putting down the clipboard. You’ve already made enough of a scene, the Coach watching with interest what you’ll do. He probably didn’t expect your hands to pick her up by her collar, heaving her off the bench and towards the door. She trips, falling on the floor as you do the same to her friend. Her other two friends leave, running to the door. “Get up and fucking leave, stupid bitch!” You go to grab her collar again, but Ushijima’s arms wrap around you to prevent that. She’s quickly gone, her friends already left. The slamming of the gym door is what finally has you calming down.

Smoothing your skirt, you nod towards Ushijima. “Thank you. Now back to practice!”

Needless to say, everyone in that gym had a high amount of respect for you. And the Coach had some disappointment as he dealt with the consequences of you instigating a fight.

[one-abuse-survivor]

Hi, it's me again. Anon 🥞

Thank you a lot for your words of support.

I'm currently stuck with my aunt and uncle because I agree to go on a vacation with them before everything went down.

I got in an argument with my aunt, because of my comportement during Christmas Eve. She told me I should not get angry like that, that is it going to push people away from me. That nobody will ever like me. I did tell her I did not want to be associated with assh*les and she said it is awful to talk about my uncle's family like that. She said I should not care so much about others and just accept their good sides and ignore the bads ones. I should suppress my personality and accept what people give me. I told her I was tired of doing this, of supressing who i was and what I wanted to please people, that I did it l'on enough to please my parents. She said it's life. She told me I ruin Christmas for everyone, that my uncle was furious at me and everyone was uncomfortable with me after that. I told her that Christmas was more difficult for me, she told me it's not true. That I was selfish. That I could have been all alone and I should be thankful I was not, but I ruin it. She said she's afraid of making me meet her friends or other people now.

My mother used to tell me this. That nobody would ever like me. That she was afraid of making me meet people because of my character. That I'm selfish. That life is hard, and if I think I went to the worst of it, I'm wrong.

A part of me is happy I didn't shut up, I just wish I knew how to better express myself (I struggles with words a lot). But also, a part of me is asking myself if my mother was right about me, even a little bit, and I'm going to be alone forever because I'm like that.

Hi, it's Anon 🥞 again. I'm sorry if I come to rant here too much, I just have nobody else to talk to (I couldn't see my psychologist because of the holidays) I did send an ask a week ago, I wasn't at a place with good wifi so it's possible it was never send, or I'm just impatient and, if it's the case, you can delete this one.

Anyway, my aunt and I got into an argument about the Xmas' dinner. She told me I embarrassed them and make my uncle's family's stay awkward, that she was afraid of making me meet their friends in case I had another reaction. She also told me that nobody would never like me if I was like that. I was quite angry, 1 because she treated me like a child (during all my stay at her place) who know nothing about the world when I'm 21 (I was abused and I have difficulty being social) and 2 because that's exactly what my mother would often tell me, so I told her "I didn't want to be like by assho*les". She then told me I was awful for calling my uncle's family like that (privileged bigots). I went to my room because I wanted to be alone. She came back 5 min later because my uncle call us crazy and she wanted him to stop. So she apologized, but I know it was empty because she talked to me for thirty min about how nobody would like me, and I should hide my personality or I would be alone...

I'm back at my place now. Things are awkward, she sends me a message everyday, when she would call before. I don't want her to call me, but I feel like my mother was right and I'm unlikable. The people who "cares" about me (my parents, my sibling, my aunt) only do because we're blood related. I had learned, growing up, that when my parents said they loved me, it was the idea of having a daughter that they loved and not me for who am I. (My interest were mocked or my mother would dismiss me or yelled at me if I gave my opinion, even on a subject I was passionate about, nobody would know what I like and what to buy for my birthday...)

Also, everyone (aunt, uncle, brother, doctor) asked me if I had New Year's wishes from my parents. The answer is no, they're blocked. And then, they asked me to send my parents New Year's wishes??!! That's the first thing my uncle said to me after midnight, my aunt even asked me to make it my new year resolution... But there's no way I'm talking to them again.

Hi again, nonnie, you’re welcome for the support, glad I could help ❤

I'm sorry you had to hear that from your aunt. I know I've already said this, but she's wrong, and the things she's saying to you are dangerously wrong. Telling a person they need to "accept the good side of others and ignore the bad side" is abuse apologism. You do NOT have to ignore people's bad side when that side is actively hurting you. You're allowed boundaries. You're allowed to choose who you want in your life. If someone in your family is an abusive asshole, then you have every right to call them an asshole. "Life" isn't putting up with abuse, and if she thinks that way, that's her problem, not yours. You don't have to conform to her idea of what life is like.

The fact she told you no one will ever like you is bullshit: maybe people like her and this side of your family won't like you, but people who aren't okay with abuse and who believe that boundaries belong in families will. The people who think it's okay to get angry when you're being disrespected (which it is) will like you. The people who don't want to see you victimised and abused will like you.

You don't have to be thankful that you didn't spend Christmas alone, nonnie. Just because they let you in their house it doesn't give them the right to treat you the way they did. That would be like giving someone food and then saying "why are you complaining it was poisonous? You should be grateful I fed you at all. You could've just swallowed the bile and been thankful for the food, but you had to go and throw up and ruin our entire evening." It's victim-blaming. It's emotional abuse. It's not okay, and you didn't deserve to go through that. I'm sorry it felt like being around your mother all over again. I hope you know they were both abusive and wrong about you, even if sometimes it's still hard to believe. You're not going to end up alone if you stand up for yourself and you don't turn into the quiet, submissive and easily manipulated person they want you to be. You're going to end up surrounded by people who think like you and who respect and love you. I'm glad you dind't shut up, nonnie, and I hope you're proud of yourself for that.

Regarding your second ask, don't worry at all, that's what this blog is here for! It's always okay to send another ask even if I haven't answered your previous one yet :) I'll just reply to them together like this (unless you ask me not to, of course!). I know this one is a re-telling of the previous one, but you added some details I wanted to reply to as well, so here goes:

The fact she framed all of this emotional abuse and victim-blaming as an apology is disgusting, and I'm so glad you were able to get back to your place soon after that. I'm sorry your aunt kept texting you, though :( I hope she's stopped or at least does it less frequently now.

Ugh, it's disgusting that they keep trying to make you think well of your parents and care about them. They never cared about you. You don't owe your parents anything, and that includes positive thoughts about them. I'm so glad you stood your ground. I'm really proud of you, nonnie.

I hope you've been able to distance yourself enough from this mindset that it's easier to see that you're not unlikeable, and I also hope you've been able to see your therapist in the last couple of months! Please know I'm here if you need to reach out again and I believe in you. What your extended family put you through during the Christmas holidays and New Years' Eve was abusive, and you do not owe any one of them a single text or another minute of your life.

Sending a huge virtual hug your way ❤

[redxblueihateloveyou]

Actually i don't get Reki at all. Like even in the first ep he was worse even than Shadow and i'm not talking abt Cherry, Joe and Adam. And he was ok and loved skating. But like... if your friend is better than you, then you get depressed and making your friend feel guilty abt you not being good enough? I didn't even ship Reki and Langa, they are just giving me only friendship vibes, but i'm still sad, wtf writers did with his character?

Yeah, same. Like, sorry, I just don’t think Reki’s character can be redeemed for me personaly at this point.  

Like what should I even stand for in his character? I do not respect his life position at all. Like I dislike Makoto for being a shadow and not wanting anything in his life, but hey, at least he’s genuinely happy for Haru’s success. I adore Rin who never gave up and dove into the hardest challenge possible from the start to get on Haru’s level, cause he wanted to swim with him for the rest of his life and he got there. And then there’s this..  it’s like.. he loves to skate, but apparently not enough, cause his doesn’t want it, if he isn’t the best at it, so he’d rather... not skate at all? He wants to be as cool and on the same level with “naturally talented ones” and wants to compete with Langa, but he doesn’t want to do anything for it or search for his own unique style or smth to beat them in another way? And on top of that he’s also sad about seeing Langa succeeding? The whole thing is... like.. no, thank you?

Like are they really gonna go with the “you made me want to be great at this like you, but if only you are great at this, than screw both you and this?” lolz. Even if they will go with the psychological block bc of his friend’s injury, it’s gonna be lousy af now. It’s like is there even a route left which could make him look...ahem... presentable at this point? Idk.

I also was right about the fact that he’s the type who prolongs the whining instead of doing things, unlike some other characters who were in his position too; realistic maybe he is, but I don’t want it, honestly, like I see such things every day and I do not like it.

From what I’ve seen in the tag some are already trying to apply here like 50 mental disorders to excuse him and stuff like “it’s realistic” and at this point I’m honestly used to people on the internet using mental disorders not for spreading awareness, but bc they’re thinking it’s “trendy”, which is a cringe galore and shame on you. But it still makes me kinda sad all the time. Also there’s nothing unrealistic about not giving up and getting where you want, it’s just harder for, to say, “ordinary” people, that’s why most rarely choose this option (although it’s for you to decide if you’re ordinary or not, cause everyone can be extraordinary, you just need to find it in you). Anyways, drowning in a self pity is not the trait I’ve ever found appealing in people, along with the constant comparing yourself to others.

Sadly many prefer to use these excuses to get out of everything along with being lazy or jealous, esp the young generation. At this point, it’s like the same thing as with this other fandom. Like, sometimes when someone is trying to hit someone because he saw that he’s more talented than him, that just means that he’s an asshole, there’s no need to come up with ridiculous excuses to justify this and try to make him a hero. And sometimes ppl are just jealous, as simple as that. And no, not everyone is like that. At this point ppl on social media are like... fuck your hard-working characters, who are inspired by talent and do not give up on trying to prove yourself even if the whole world is against them. Let’s promote being emo and how it’s okay to spend your life on walking around telling everyone how you’re a useless trash, like this will help you in life.

Also if seeing someone succeed, esp your best friend, makes you sad, might want to reconsider the way of living your life. Just saying.

Also since when you have to be the best just to enjoy doing what you love doing? I’m like... personaly I do not get it. Looking at my vids 10 years ago they look like utter trash, but I tried and tried and yeah, I might not reach some levels of mega talented ppl, but hey, I’m still trying and searching for stuff I can improve all the time and watch talented ppl tutorials like “holy fuck, you can do that?”.

But hey, at least he doesn’t want to only make boards, he wants to compete... (or does he? I’m honestly not sure at this point lol)... I mean, there’s... that. but I thought, when he’s gonna realize it, he’s gonna be back on track, but n.o. xD back to self pity. ok then. Some go like “its only been 3 episodes” and I’m like “this... ain’t a 24 episodes anime tho..(?)”.

So far I’m just confused about what are writers intentions with some characters are. Like the most interesting ones at least for me are technically a background for some reason idk. I was literally sad about the wasted amount of screentime on Reki being.. well, nothing new.

Sad part about this is that people like this also need a constant reassuring to the point of them just sucking your life out of you, too, so I honestly do not know how to deal with this life position. Ppl like this have a tendency to never be happy, so Langa would just have to run after him and feed him with compliments for the rest of his life to water his tiny self-esteem or say smth “don’t give up, don’t give up, fighting”? It’s like... well, ok. Friendship, yeah, but ship? Nah, not for me. Also I do not smell any huge romance there tbh, and from Reki’s side this is all just a mess tbh.

The saddest part was that he saw that Langa won after his yelling and he didn’t care for that. Like Rin was mopping bc he wanted to swim with Haru, so when he saw that Haru wanted to swim with him, too, that was it for him. And that’s the problem all the viewers who watched Free! got hit with while watching this. My DMs are literally all about “why do I not feel anything about them?” or “sometimes cute, but smth doesn’t hit me shipping wise”. Cause I think most expected for some reason that he would also put Langa first, but at the end, they’re not on the same track, bc their priorities are different.

I actually think it was just mistake for all of our Free! hommies including me to go at it from the wrong point of view and from the beginning expecting it shipping wise to be like that one other Utsumi’s work. I mean, she’s just a director there, not also on the storyboard or anything else. Should’ve gone watching it with a clear head. The main ship just does not hit any spots for me either. And my heart does not lie there at all. I do blame Free! for this, cause it’s like impossible to compare bc of those our scenes, I keep seeing, but at the same time, they do not hold up not to the dynamic, not to anything at this point. Like I do not know where they’re going with them, but this is just not my type of a ship in general and definitely not the one I can go crazy about. I honestly do not think 3 episodes can change that. It’s says a lot if at this point I do not even care much for their reconciliation, I’m like.. tell me about the seniors’ drama tho xD So I’ll stick with my side ships.

Also, unrelated to the question, but did Adam seriously just went and hit Cherry with a board in the face?!!!! (THE FUCK DUDE?) Like, this was definitely not how I thought this was gonna go. I also kinda felt like Cherry was in love with Adam in the past. All in all this was like a... strange episode, at this point I just feel sorry for my baby Langa, Joe and Cherry were very cute (esp at the end) and my god Cherry is hot, but like I also want something complex pls, so idk I’m  still waiting for the Adam/Tadashi shananigans.

At this point I’m like “I love watching this, but what am I watching?” haha supernatural skating soup opera it is then. 

Also I just love Langa my dude, my man. How he’s such a puppy in real life, but so freaking hot when he skates??!!! T_T 

[reluctantly-plus-ultra]

So....I'm literally in love with your rei&lov stuff and wanted to ask if you're still taking scenario suggestions? In case you do; how about dabihawks, in which dabi figures out/always knew that hawks is actually a spy but convinces hawks to actually become a villain? Or literally any hawks&shouto interaction in which they talk for some reason(internship?) And bc of that hawks figures out that dabi=touya and endevour=horrible and has kinda a breakdown? (Bonus points of shouto already knew) Thx

First of all, thank you so much! I’m definitely still taking requests- sorry this one took a while to post, but I’ve been in finals this past week and things have been hectic. Second, I’m going to have to apologize in advance because I saw all of your awesome suggestions here and instead of tackling this like any sane person would by choosing one thing to write about, I decided to write all of them in one request… So in other words, this sucker is LONG. Anyway, without further ado, enjoy the piece!

[REQUESTED] DABIHAWKS: DARK SIDE

- All it takes is one boy being saved for everything to go absolutely batshit crazy.

- Keigo “Hawks” Takami is a cunning man, ruthless when it comes to intelligence, speed, determination. He’s been trained- raised his whole life to be the personification of the perfect working hero: instinctive, quick, capable of wearing as many masks as it takes to get the job done and hiding all of that deadly capability behind a warm, smiling face that keeps him the darling of the public eye. 

- And yet, despite his wit, despite his impeccable skill for analysis, despite every sign that should have given him a few warning bells about this situation, Hawks had stumbled in completely blind. Nothing could’ve prepared him for this.

- It had started off as nothing more than a basic street brawl. Hawks had taken the day to patrol with Enji and Shouto, the young man having returned to his father’s agency for his internship. In fact, it was mostly because of Shouto that Hawks had decided to head out with Endeavor in the first place- he was curious about the youngest Todoroki. The boy already had a pretty impressive reputation regardless of the fact that he hadn’t yet gone pro, and Hawks was curious to see whether or not he would hold up in person.

- So when they’d gotten the call that there was a robbery four blocks away and that a fight had broken out in the square, he hadn’t given two thoughts about it, really. Hell, the kid had faced off against the League shortly after entering his first year and come out without a scratch. He could take a couple amateur thugs no problem.

- And at first, things actually go really well. Shouto’s got some serious skill, and it doesn’t take long for them to get the situation sorted out-

- That is, at least, until a few familiar faces show up.

- Hawks swears he’s going to kick Dabi’s ass into next week when he, Toga, Compress and Twice all round the corner and straight into the whole mess. Like, it’s bad enough that now he’s going to have to put up a fight with them, but for fuck’s sake the last thing he needs is to be gearing up to face them while also trying to put on a nonchalant expression as Toga starts laughing her ass off at the sight of him being there.

- So of course shit goes sideways and a second fight breaks out. Hawks has never been more thankful of Twice, because the man just keeps sending clone after clone his way and it’s keeping him busy enough that he doesn’t have to throw punches at any of the others. After all, the League had just started warming up to him, and he really doesn’t want to be sending anybody home packing black eyes on his account.

- But that also leaves three villains against two Todorokis, and while that still shouldn’t be a problem, it turns out to be.

- In hindsight knowing what he’d come to learn much later, maybe it was the way Endeavor barked the boy’s name. Maybe it was how he’d whipped around so suddenly the flames on his body guttered and flared. Maybe it was even just the simple matter of having his arm raised when he turned.

- Either way, whatever he’d been going to tell his youngest child goes unsaid, be it advice or otherwise.

- All Hawks knows is that it takes a full two seconds for Endeavour to shout his son’s name, to wheel around to face him, arm still rigid above his head from the last burst of flame he’d sent at Compress, hand exploding into a raging blaze once more- and then Dabi is fucking sprinting.

- And at first, Hawks almost goes after him because it seems like the fire-user is about to take out Shouto and quite frankly, it didn’t matter who you are: going after a child is a low blow, plain and simple.

- So when he dispatches Twice’s next clone in a messy hurry and moves to follow, he’s stopped dead in his tracks by a display he never thought he’d witness: the patchwork villain yelling “Sho!” so loudly his voice cracks before quite literally hauling the young hero behind him and bracing his free arm in front of them both in a gesture that is so inherently and naturally defensive it makes Hawks pause.

- Half a second later, there’s an explosion of blue fire so fierce and bright that it’s damn near blinding. It takes a few moments for the winged hero to blink the light from his eyes, but when he manages to do so, it is only to take in the sight of three faces equally painted in horror.

- And here’s the thing; Hawks expects some kind of reaction from Shouto, so the fact that he’s still stunned and unmoving behind this villain isn’t exactly a surprise. Hell, he expects a reaction from Dabi too, because that degree of defensiveness, that scale of fire, the sheer desperation in his movements seconds before the explosive blast- it’s so unlike him, especially over some hero’s son?

- But it’s when Enji Todoroki blanches just as pale as the other two, eyes wide as Shouto’s, hands shaking like Dabi’s, that Hawks feels an uncomfortable clench in his gut. That feeling persists, too, as the fighting stops around them, and everything falls into silence, ashes falling down around them like snow. It’s the first time that Hawks has noticed that the walls of the surrounding buildings have been scorched black from the heat, smoke still rising in the air. 

- There’s blood leaking down Dabi’s face, his arms, past his burnt jacket sleeves and the collar of his shirt. He’s in pain, Hawks can tell, even from where he’s standing. That move took a lot out of him- 

- But there’s also no way he wouldn’t have known that before doing it, and that raises more than a few questions.

- All three men look like they’re reliving some kind of flashback, some kind of memory or unanimous nightmare. It’s Shouto who speaks first, voice wavering, and even then it’s only one word, indistinguishable from their current distance- but it’s enough to snap Dabi out of whatever reverie he’s in and cause him to snarl and bolt.

- Nobody goes after him, not even Endeavor, and in seconds the patchwork man is gone, lost to the shadows and alleys. Being realistic, it would take Hawks less than a minute to soar up above the buildings and scout him down, demand some answers, but Twice is quicker to the punch.

“Let us handle this for now- you can take of him later, I’m not handling his broody side.”

- The rest of the League is in the process of disappearing as well as Hawks makes his way up to the pair of still shell-shocked heroes, quirking an eyebrow and tugging at a few feathers that got bent in his fight.

- “You want to tell me what that was all about? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

- The hard glint in Enji’s eye as he glances at him and then spins around on his heel without a word, walking in the opposite direction is all the confirmation he needs to know that maybe they have.

- Days pass. It had been hard enough not asking questions for the rest of their patrol but when, four days later, Endeavor still won’t give him the time of day and Dabi won’t respond to any of his texts and calls, Hawks has had about enough.

- Aizawa’s not exactly thrilled about the Number Two hero calling in to ask if he can take part of the morning to talk to Todoroki about some of the events of their last patrol, but he presses that it’s important, and Aizawa eventually gives in on the grounds that it’s safer for them to talk at the school about mission work than anywhere else, really.

- And that’s how he and the dual-quirked boy end up facing one another over cold coffee in the otherwise vacant teacher’s lounge, Shouto guarded as ever, and Hawks feeling a bit nervous despite the circumstances. Truth being told, he isn’t sure what he’s looking to find here, exactly, but the whole situation has been burning a hole in his stomach for half a week, and something about it really isn’t sitting right.

- “…This is about the whole… Incident with him, isn’t it?” Todoroki asks eventually, tone flat, and Hawks has to admit that he’s chosen some interesting phrasing.

- “Pretty much, yeah,” Hawks scratches the back of his neck awkwardly, unsure where to even start. The whole thing seems pretty absurd. The youngest Todoroki hums and sips at his cold coffee, the light rippling of the liquid being the only thing betraying the slight tremour of his hands.

- “If you have questions, why not ask him instead?” Hawks immediately wrinkles his nose at that.

- “Who, Endeavor? Something tells me he wouldn’t be the most willing audie-”

- “Not Endeavor.” Shouto fixes his cup back on its saucer before turning curious but carefully blank eyes on him, “Dabi. You two seem close enough for it.”

- Well, fuck.

- Hawks’ brain is going a mile a minute trying to figure out how Shouto managed to put two and two together. There’s no way he’d figured it out from that patrol day- they hadn’t even interacted at all, and Hawks had been careful not to mention the patchwork villain around any of the other heroes so as to not raise suspicion with his mission, or to have anyone go snooping too deeply into something that could also get him in a huge deal of shit. 

- Not really knowing how else to play his cards but to try and save face, Hawks squints and shakes his head at the boy in confusion, hoping the “dumb-bird” act will save his ass. Underneath the surface, though, he can feel the pinpricks of an impending anxiety attack, the boy’s blunt and unexpected words having shredded every assumption of caution that he thought he’d put up. Hell, if Shouto has figured things out this far, has he also figured out Hawks’ connection to the League? Has he told anyone else? The Commission is going to skin him alive when they found out-

- “I’ve got no idea what you’re talking about,” Hawks tries, grimacing at the end of the statement for effect, “Unless you’re meaning because I didn’t intervene when everything went down and help you guys out- sorry about that by the way, but I figured you two would have everything under control, and when all the fighting stopped, I just froze.” He shrugs, trying his best to look sheepish, “It doesn’t happen often, but sometimes when the shock is great enough I’m more of a natural freezer than a reactor. Probably some kind of weird bird thing.”

- Shouto regards him for a solid second, unblinking, before cracking a small smile.

- “You’re a good liar.” He says simply, before sipping his coffee again. “But that’s not what I’m talking about at all.”

- Those pinpricks return again, and Hawks’ wings flutter somewhat nervously on their own accord. He resists the urge to let them expand just to give himself a bit more of a size advantage, and instead tries playing it off again. Shouto’s eyebrows raise at the attempt, and it’s with almost exaggerated disbelief that he sets his cup down for the second time and announces, in that odd, cool way of his, “So you just let any villain wear your feathers, then?”

- Hawks chokes on his coffee.

- This time, he legitimately does not know what the hell Todoroki’s talking about, but it turns out that the observant teen had caught sight of a long stretch of cord that had shifted somewhat out from under the other man’s loose shirt when he spun around to run.

- And there’s nothing weird about that in itself. Dabi’s kinda a jewelry guy, and Heaven knows he’s got enough piercings to prove it. But when Todoroki gets to mentioning that there was a small red feather on the end of the rope, Hawks can’t help but flush pink just a little bit because he’d left that feather as a calling card to tell the other man he’d broken into his apartment two weeks ago and he’d gone and strung it on a necklace what an absolute fucking dork-

- “I don’t think Endeavor saw,” Todoroki continues absently, “So it’s just me that knows, and I don’t want any of the details,” He looks at Hawks solemnly again, this time his voice growing quieter, “I’ll keep your secret, but forgive me for using it to make sure you keep mine.”

- Hawks examines him for a slow moment, fully aware that neither of them are moving, and the air is growing tense. This boy could bring his career crashing down around his ears with a few words muttered in the right direction, and yet Hawks is inclined to believe him when he says he’ll keep a secret. With a sigh, the winged hero extends a hand.

- “Deal.” He agrees, shivering at the contact of ice on his palm, Todoroki apologizing for the slip under his breath. “Now, what’s this secret, then?”

- Shouto chews his lip for a moment before sitting back in his seat, hands clenched into fists.

- “I need to tell you a story.”

______________________________________________________

- An hour later, the entire fucking world has been turned on its head, and nothing is ever going to be the same.

- Shouto Todoroki sits quietly for a moment, before calmly reaching out for his coffee cup again, more for the simple grounding action of holding it than anything else. The silence in the room is stifling, especially after the burrage of information Hawks has had dumped on him in the last sixty minutes, and his brain is still sluggishly trying to process most of it.

- “He’s… He’s your brother?” The hero manages eventually, mouth feeling dry, stomach churning. That panging ache in his stomach that he’d felt before has returned tenfold, and it takes everything in Hawks’ apparent willpower to not run for a garbage bin and puke from all the nausea. 

- Todoroki won’t meet his eye, and Hawks doesn’t blame him- after everything that’s been revealed at this coffee table, he’s not sure he could look the younger man dead in the face without breaking down in some way. Seeing his scar, mentally comparing it to Dabi’s many, brain running lists of all their similarities and those lists coming up remarkably long.

- The worst of it is the carpet that got all but torn out from under his feet as Shouto had explained what his father had put them all through, his involvement at home, how they had assumed for so long that their oldest sibling had died, and that it had been their father’s fault, no different than Rei’s hospitalization and, by extension, Shouto’s burned eye. It’s this news that curdles his stomach more than anything, makes his blood freeze in his veins.

- He can already tell that when he allows that news to settle, it’s going to hit like a bombshell, but he can’t do that in front of Shouto, so he pushes it to the back of his mind for now until he can handle it later and instead tries to focus on the subjects that he thinks can be safely discussed.

- Todoroki just nods, seemingly spent on this whole ordeal as well, and also not really knowing what to do with it. 

- “I’d had some suspicions,” He admits softly, fiddling with his hands, “But I didn’t want to think on them too closely or get my hopes up- he was dead, or supposed to be anyway. And then that patrol happened, and… I don’t remember much of him, really. The memories are all hazy. I was so young- but he used to call me Sho as a nickname when we were kids. When he ran out in front of me though, I…”

- “You remembered it wasn’t the first time.” Hawks concludes, and Shouto nods again, his shoulders slumping.

- “It was exactly the same,” He murmurs softly, “And it just… Triggered memories of all of these things I’d forgotten, but now they’re all coming back, and I don’t-” He sighs in frustration, taking a deep breath to rein in his thoughts, “I don’t know what to do because he’s not dead anymore, but at the same time, I’m not sure that he’s really alive either. That part of him that I knew might be gone entirely- I’m willing to believe that his actions during our patrol were out of memory reflex more than anything.”

- But Hawks is already thinking about all of those times that Dabi has helped Toga arrange her hair into buns when it’s being too stubborn, and the almost-petty sibling banter he slings back and forth with Shigaraki sometimes just to get a rise out of him. There are other habits too, just little things here and there, but the more Hawks imagines Dabi being a former sibling, the more connections he sees.

- They clean up their dishes quietly, dirty laundry aired, secrets hanging heavy. Before they leave, though, Hawks turns back to Todoroki one last time.

- “You know I can’t bring him back, right?”

- It’s a harsh reality, but a very real one. Quite frankly, Hawks suspects that there’s a lot of the person Todoroki remembers in this new Dabi figure, but no matter how much of that remains, no matter how many different and surprising and kind, soft, gentle, loyal angles Dabi has, it doesn’t change the fact that he is first and foremost a villain. That takes precedence over anything, and there’s really no turning back from it, not now, and not after the extent he’s gone to. Shouto nods, hair falling in his face, though Hawks can see through the fringe that his eyes are clear. There’s no judgement, no upset. He’s more than aware, and something in Hawks’ chest twinges again at how quickly this child had to grow up, seeing the world with such adult eyes.

- There’s something else still tickling the back of his mind, and at first he hesitates to ask it. Shouto’s been through enough today as it is, and he doesn’t want to push too far, but at the same time, he’s dying to know. There’s this sense in him that it’s probably important, and Hawks has long ago learned better than to ignore his gut.

- “One more thing- what did you say to him that day? Right before he ran?”

- Shouto’s hand freezes on the doorknob, literally freezes on the doorknob, ice crawling over his fingers. For a second, Hawks is considering apologizing and moving on, afraid that he’s overstepped a boundary. But then Shouto’s grip on the handle eases, and the ice crackles and falls away from his hand, falling to melt in the fibres of the carpet underfoot.

- “Touya. I called him Touya.”

- They leave the room and don’t look back.

_______________________________________________

- Hawks walks Shouto back to class, only to pull Eraserhead outside for a moment and explain nothing more into the situation than that the youngest Todoroki experienced some stressful things during their last patrol, and that after their discussion that morning, it probably wouldn’t hurt to have him take the rest of the day off just to recuperate a little.

- And with any of the other teachers, he might have been hit with a hardass no, but this is Shouta Aizawa, and if there’s anything that man cares more about than cats, coffee, and the occasional witty remark, it’s rest and his students. As much as he likes to deny it, he keeps a better eye on those kids than they know, and he’s caught Todoroki acting a bit more reserved than normal, less concentrated. He nods slowly, dismisses Hawks with a casual comment about wasting his time, and goes to fetch Shouto from the classroom again.

- The winged hero leaves to the sound of Aizawa telling Shouto that he’ll get a notes package done up for him for the day, and to go rest. There’s some muffled arguing before the older man makes some statement about mental health that effectively shuts Shouto up and sends him back in the direction of the dorms, Hawks grinning to himself the whole way down the hall, until he can no longer hear the two. Shouto Todoroki has had one hell of a life, that much is certain, but nobody can deny that he’s in good hands now and that itself is a relief beyond words.

- That being said, it takes all of ten seconds upon returning home to his apartment and getting the door shut behind him, before Keigo Takami all but collapses on the hardwood and begins to sob. Once the tears start flowing they just won’t stop, and there’s this kind of warm, gentle light streaming in through the floor-to-ceiling-windows that seems to just encourage the outpour even more. 

- Were anyone to see him at that exact moment, they’d probably think it made an interesting picture, the Number Two hero weeping on his knees, wings spread about him like some kind of devastated creature of God, light pouring down his shoulders and face as though his halo had melted and dripped like tear stains over his skin. There’s this burning, raw sensation inside him that just won’t ease, and as he lies there, a crumbled statue of a once proud Icarus, he lets the truth rage over him like wildfire, lets the heat of it all melt the wax and burn the feathers, and feels it pull him into a drop he’s not sure how to recover from, or if he ever will.

- There’s this war raging inside him on how to feel, a million emotions crushing his chest all at once. The first that hits him is disgust, disgust for this man that he had looked up to for so long, who had been a hero to him even when he’d had nothing, nobody, not even a dream. He had put so much faith in him, had defended him at every turn, had stood by him as a colleague, watched his back, taken wounds to keep him safe. This was the man he’d bled for, if he deserved to be called a man at all.

- But the emotions that follow after this are so rapid-fire, they’re almost impossible to keep track of, aside from the pain- the pain lingers and grows, makes itself known in every damned crevice of his being. There’s betrayal, both to the person he is now, and to the young child who’d cheered the fire hero on, who he’d wanted to impress so badly. There’s sadness for the world he thought he knew, for the person he thought he knew, and all of that being stripped away to reveal something so much more grim and ugly. Grief for the loss, mourning for the death of something he’d seen as a foundation to his person, the pain so strong throughout.

- One of the worst, though, is the anger. When the anger arrives, it isn’t in a gradual wave like the other feelings had been, full of upset and still-numb disbelief. When the anger arrives, it is as a battering ram of rage that burns so fiercely in his core, he wants to scream. Rage for Shouto Todoroki, rage for Rei Todoroki, rage for Fuyumi and Natsuo, and damn it all, blistering, agonizing rage for Touya Todoroki and the unjust cards he was dealt. When the anger arrives, it’s with the passion of a man who has longed for family his whole life, and can’t imagine how an individual could so carelessly ruin what another would die for.

- When the anger arrives it stays, and it leaves Hawks trembling on the floor long after the tears have stopped rolling, after the damp spots on his cheeks have dried, after the pain has stopped clawing at his throat, and taken up permanent residence in his heart instead.

- And that’s how Dabi finds him three hours later as night starts setting in, and the light from the windows has faded, the warmth in the floorboards gone. Hawks is so out of it, so physically and emotionally exhausted, that he doesn’t even hear him come in, only notices him when the tall man crouches down in his line of vision, concernedly snapping his fingers in his face.

- Somehow the sight of him just manages to drive the knife in deeper, and he has to take a deep breath to keep his composure. Dabi’s eyebrows are drawn together in worry at the scene, hands beginning to rapidly check him all over for wounds of some kind before Hawks weakly bats his hands away, protesting. The cremation villain sits back on his heels, unimpressed, and flicks the other man’s forehead.

- “I’ve been trying to get a hold of you all afternoon- why weren’t you picking up your phone, dumbass? I thought something must have happened.”

- The irritation in his voice thinly covers his relief, and Hawks can only manage to blink up at him once or twice before clenching his eyes shut altogether. He doesn’t mention that Dabi hasn’t responded to any of his messages until today either, figures a fight isn’t what either of them need right now.

- “I talked to Shouto today,” He says quietly, voice so hoarse from crying, it’s almost hard to listen to. Dabi stiffens, but doesn’t turn away or make a sound, so Hawks continues, “He told me… Everything. Everything that happened, everything that that bastard did,” Hawks takes another steadying breath, choosing not to look Dabi in the eye for this part, “He knows who you are- I know about that part too. And that’s fine, really, it is; I won’t call you by that name or anything if you don’t want me to. I just… I can’t believe that I looked up to him so long, and he was doing all of this and nobody knew-

- And suddenly it’s all spilling out all over again, and there are more tears, but much less than last time, a slow and steady trickle compared to the earlier downpour. Dabi doesn’t do anything but listen as the minutes pass, as the sky grows steadily darker and they’re left in the kitchen with no lights on, almost silhouettes in the room. Somehow, it feels comforting- Dabi has a way of making shadows feel less like threats and more like hiding places, and Hawks has never felt it more strongly than now.

- But it isn’t until he’s done his tirade that he realizes his most crucial mistake- that in confessing all of this, he’s just botched his own story of being done with the hero world, the lies that he’d given Dabi when they first met. He’s just outed himself as a turncoat. And not only that, he’s just outed himself as a turncoat to a villain who is still kneeling over him in a dark room, and who would have literally nothing stopping him from crisping the winged hero right there, not even Hawks himself. Fast as he is, he doesn’t think his reflexes will save him quickly enough in this state, and all it will take for him to be completely defenseless would be Dabi moving his hands an inch or two forward to light his wings on fire, exposed as they currently are.

- He can feel the panic building in his chest as Dabi stays silent, breathing picking up a few notches before he’s suddenly scrambling to get into a less vulnerable position, trying to make out Dabi’s expression in the dark. Maybe if he can get out a window fast enough, he’ll be able to catch a draft and soar out of the way- it’s his best bet, but the kitchen island is against his back now because he scooted too far back, and there’s no way for him to get to a window without either getting through Dabi or-

- The panic attack that he was feeling earlier decides to kick in at this exact moment, and that’s when Hawks realizes that if Dabi wants him dead, he’s dying in this room. All of his instincts and nerves are shot, he has no sense of coordination, he can’t see, the dark no longer feels safe-

- The lights come on, and Hawks glances up sharply from his position against the island to see Dabi with his hand still on the lightswitch, expression hard to read, but not the crazed, maniacal look Hawks would have expected to receive if the villain were planning to outright kill him. He watches as the other man slowly walks forward, gaze locked, until he kneels so closely on the floor in front of him that if Hawks so much as slid his knees a centimetre forward, they’d be hitting Dabi in the chest.

- His heart is hammering so fast, he’s sure he’ll either hyperventilate or pass out at any given second, body trembling, brain unable to focus. He manages to force his eyes closed as Dabi extends a hand out, certain that he’ll be feeling those blue flames crawling his skin the second they get close enough to burn. The flames never come.

- Dabi’s fingers trail across his temple, brushing back a few strands of sweaty hair, before going to cup his cheek entirely. The action is so uncharacteristically tender that it causes Hawks’ eyes to flash open again, the scarred man looking at him with intent eyes.

- “Take a few deep breaths, pretty bird.” He says calmly, not even flinching when Hawks’ hand comes up to clench hard on the patchwork man’s bicep.

- “You took all of that info rather well,” Hawks states, almost accusingly, through gritted teeth. His breathing is starting to slow, heartbeat becoming less erratic, though Dabi’s sudden smirk isn’t helping anything.

- “I’ve known that you weren’t legit from the first day,” He scoffs, looking a touch of smug, but also somewhat offended, “Give me more credit than that, sweetheart. This isn’t news.”

- The simple, familiar arrogance of it all forces a sharp laugh from Hawks’ throat, and against all odds he can feel the adrenaline draining from his system, beginning to relax again. 

- “You’re such an asshole, you know that?” Said with a tired grin. ‘I’m relieved this one corner of my world isn’t crumbling down too.’

- “Only time you’ll catch me alive saying guilty as charged.” Said with a smile as crooked as a broken law. ‘I’m not going anywhere.’

- They wait like that just a few minutes longer, listening to the hum of the overhead lights, nothing needing to be said for those moments at least. Then, once Hawks has calmed down enough to relocate, they move to the couch.

- “So,” Dabi is the one to begin this time, throwing his lanky form across the whole sofa and stretching out well enough across it that his head can rest on one of the arms, his ankles dangling off the other. “You know about my shitty childhood. I`d rather not talk about that any more tonight, honestly.”

- Hawks, appreciative that he seems to be willing to let to matter of the anxiety attack drop completely, chooses to take a seat on the middle cushion, leaning back against Dabi’s hip as a support and letting his wings fall over the back of the sofa and behind it. The longest feathers drag on the floor from this height, and Dabi watches for a second as Hawks flares them temporarily to adjust his wings in a better position before continuing. “And I know about you not being true to the League. Anything else you’d care to hash out while we’re in the sharing mood?”

- “Yeah, actually,” Hawks shoots him a look and raises an eyebrow, “If you knew I was lying, why the hell did you keep me around?”

- Dabi goes entirely still, one hand subconsciously draping across his chest, and Hawks remembers the comment Shouto made earlier about the necklace. He wonders if the villain is reaching for it now.

- “You don’t ease into anything, do you?” He asks eventually with a chuckle, Hawks’ answering grin speaking for itself. “Alright, it’s… I guess, you know when you’re in a deep body of water and your head goes under, and it kind of hits you that you could drown there? And the first thing you do when you see it is reach for the light?” Hawks nods even though he’s always had an aversion to swimming due to the weight of his wings and has never been close enough to drowning to truly know. “It’s… Fuck, I’m trashing the hell out of this, but it’s like that. I could tell I was sinking, and I didn’t give a shit. And then you showed up, and I knew right off the bat that you were lying to my face, but for once, there’s this light right in front of me, close enough to reach for. I never really meant for it to be more than that.” He paused for a second before adding, “But there was something about the fact that you were batshit crazy enough to walk into the wolves’ den for your cause, and you just kept coming back. You had to know we’d figure it out eventually, and when we did you’d be done, but you kept trying anyway.” Dabi grins slightly, fingers definitely closing around the necklace this time, “That’s real hero shit. I’d spent so long hating all of them that I’d forgotten they weren’t all like the one I grew up with. And I can’t ever be like you, I’m not hero material, but… Reaching for that light here and here, it makes me feel like maybe I can be more than this someday.”

- He didn’t expect this kind of response. He didn’t expect this kind of honesty, barbless and vulnerable and kind. He didn’t really expect to find himself moving to straddle Dabi’s waist so he could be in a better position to kiss him, either, but that happens as well.

- Wordlessly, Hawks tugs Dabi’s hands from his necklace, and settles them on his hips, the winged hero pressing his own palms to either side of the villain’s scarred face, leaning forward to rest their foreheads together. He can feel Dabi’s breath against his mouth and cheeks as the other man lets out a soft exhale, his skin carrying that familiar slight chill that it always does, cooler still where his fingers rest on staples. He could stay in this forever, this moment, safe and sure and grounded. It isn’t until Dabi pulls away from him slightly to trace one hand down the curve of his wing and into his primary feathers that Hawks realizes that in his contentment he’s brought his wings up almost defensively, shielding them off from the rest of the world though there’s no one else around to see.

- “I used to hate the colour red.” Dabi murmurs, repeating the action once again, Hawks fluttering his wing against the fire-user’s calloused hand just to bring a smile to his face. That smile carries into the kiss Dabi pulls him in for an instant later. It isn’t their first kiss, not by a long shot, but there’s something more sweet and slow about this one, and it takes Hawks a second to realize that unlike the kisses they’ve shared in the past, this one isn’t laced with the premonition of an ending. Usually, there’s this sort of rushed tension in their more intimate moments, an unspoken understanding that whatever this thing they have is, it can only last so long. But that’s missing this time, the overlying pressure of awareness, of only whispering things that won’t break your heart later, of never knowing when each embrace might be the last and being prepared to cut your losses if it is. This time is different, sanguine, and Hawks suddenly gets the feeling that things are about to change.

- He isn’t wrong.

- “What if you joined us for real?” Dabi breathes, eyes hooded as they draw apart but still lingering close. Catching Hawks’ incredulous look, he runs his hands up the other man’s arms, taking on a more serious tone. “I mean it. We can get you out from under the Commission- they’d never be able to touch you again. You want a world where heroes have more spare time on their hands than they know what to do with? That’s never going to be a possibility the way things are now. Most of the groups and agencies are corrupt over the profitability of it all, and there’s a lot of heroes in the same boat. Believe me, birdie, they don’t want the crime rate going down- they just want it televised.”

- Hawks knows it’s true- Dabi isn’t just saying this to sway him. The winged hero has seen this firsthand. There are heroes out there who would sooner go into a situation after a disaster has already happened rather than stopping it before anyone can get hurt, because it’s flashier. It’s more likely to gain attention, even if it means innocents being injured or, hell, dying in the process. And there’s all the other stuff too- the notices they get at the beginning of each new year, informing them that if they save ‘x’ number of people from various minority groups, there will be a bonus payout for them by the end of the year, as diversity is good for their public image. Hawks always threw those papers away, but there were some who held onto them, kept a tally going. There are heroes who are only on the field for the money, who couldn’t care less about the people they’re saving so long as there’s a cheque at the end of it with their name on it. Hawks has even heard of a few cases where heroes staged or set up disasters and accidents to be noticed. There’s the Commission, literally grooming child soldiers and people like Endeavor who wear two faces to hide a darker truth from the public eye.

- For an organization made to help, the hero collective is a dog-eats-dog world, and it’s ruthless. Dabi’s right about Hawks’ dream being impossible- because as long as people are profiting off crime, they’ll never allow it to stop.

- Suddenly, all Hawks wants to do is sleep, cut the nightmare short and try to let himself catch up with the feeling of free-falling. He can’t go back to working beside Endeavor like nothing’s happened, he knows that. And to make matters worse, he told Shouto he wouldn’t tell anyone about this though he desperately knows he should, but at this rate he’s not sure it wouldn’t do more harm than good. There may be a time later in the future where the truth can be revealed without completely annihilating the small, fragile, bright world that the youngest Todoroki has been slowly building for himself, but to have the public come after him over something this big, demanding answers and surrounding him at all times… He can’t handle that yet, and Hawks can tell. Someday, but not yet. 

- “And after you dismantle the system? What happens then?” Hawks asks quietly, noting the surprised flicker behind Dabi’s blue eyes. He hadn’t been expecting him to entertain this idea.

- “Hey, my job’s just to burn it to the ground,” Dabi snorts, nonchalant, but his hands stop moving up and down Hawks’ arms, and loosely circle his wrists, “I think I’ll leave the rebuilding to those of you who will do it right. Let the real heroes take care of the hero world, and maybe everything else will settle too. Maybe things can be better- and who knows,” He puts on a smirk, “Maybe the heroes will find they’ve got some spare time on their hands, just like you said.”

- Hawks considers this, nods once, makes up his mind and goes ‘fuck it’ while cutting his losses. 

- “Fine.”

- Dabi freezes under him, confident look replaced by something much more comical.

- “What?”

- “Fine, I’m in.” Dabi goes to say something about considering options for more than three seconds, but Hawks cuts him off. “No, I’m serious. Things need to change, and that’s not going to happen with the way everything’s going now. I’m a hero because I want to help people, not because I have a license, and damn it there are more people I can help by fighting against the hero track than on it, which is really fucked up in itself. I’m in, and I’m saying that while I’m pissed off and bitter enough to go through with it because for fuck’s sake I can’t keep going back to that place and letting them wring me out until I’m dead. None of this is normal or okay, and I can’t keep pretending that it is. I need to do something.”

- The fire-user just stares at him awestruck throughout all this, and for a long while afterwards too, before eventually sitting up.

- “You’re certain?”

- “Yes.”

- “…Damn it, pigeon, what the hell am I going to do with you?”

- Hawks laughs at the weak pet name even as Dabi cups his face and pulls him in for another kiss, the blond’s laughter spilling out across their lips, fingers carding through Dabi’s hair. It’s a bright moment to end a dark day, something hopeful amid the tentative nature of something new. 

- “We’re never rushing this again.” Hawks grins when they both need to take a breath, that warm embrace of security and peace having returned to him once more, settling in his chest and radiating so strongly he’s surprised he’s not glowing. Dabi hums in response, turquoise eyes mostly closed as he leans down to dust a kiss on the other’s collarbone, almost painfully slow as if to prove a point.

- “We won’t have to.” He promises, chuckling lowly at the slight gasp he receives for turning the kiss into a nip, “Welcome to the dark side, birdie.”

[hettiesworld]

War and Peace (and Love)

Pairing: Sergeant William (Will) James x OC

Summary: Corporal Joslyn Woods has been transferred to the Delta Camp and she has to work with the bomb disposal unit, consisting of Specialist Eldridge, Sergeant Sanborn and Sergeant James. She is the first female to be put on a bomb disposal unit in Iraq and her duty is to keep James safe from snipers and gunmen, willing to attack James.

During the 365 days of being with them, Woods develops feelings for James after the ‘loss’ of the kid who sold DVDs to James, also known as Beckham. She is there to comfort him and support him throughout the rest of the days.

Warning(s): Spoilers for the movie, angst, strong language, mature themes.

A/n: This is finally the second chapter of this series! Can’t wait for you guys to read it! Some of the gifs are not mine. Credit to the owners.

Chapter 2:

363 days left in Iraq. 

There was a car left in the town centre with a bomb in it. It was in front of a United Nations building. Joslyn, Sanborn, Eldridge and their leader, Sergeant James arrived at their location. 

All of the citizens were being evacuated as Joslyn helped James into the bomb disposal suit. She didn’t want to but Sanborn and Eldridge were too busy, doing their own thing. Joslyn was trying to make herself busy putting James’s suit on.

“I’m too old for this shit.” James muttered to himself. Joslyn didn’t reply, still making herself busy with his suit. She picked up his helmet, giving it to him and letting him attach it onto himself. She picked up her gun and slung it on her back.

“What? No words of encouragement?” James shouted after her as she had her back towards him. Joslyn rolled her eyes and shouted back, “Don’t die!”

James rolled his eyes and walked toward the car, which suddenly became engulfed in flames. James walked back and got out a fire extinguisher from the humvee. He then walked back to put out the fire and began to examine the car while Eldridge, Sanborn and Joslyn took up their positions as lookouts.

James opened the trunk and found several of the same type of artillery shells he'd seen the day before. 

The desert of Israel was covered in rolling hills. Wind stirred up the wispy sand and the sun’s never ending rays beaten down on him mercilessly. Salty sweat rolled off James’s nose and stung his eyes. The suit was overwhelmingly hot and sticky. After a few moments, he takes his bomb suit off completely, knowing it won't protect him.

“What are you fuckin’ doing?” Joslyn demanded. She was the nearest lookout to James as he finally took off the helmet. “And don’t tell me it’s because of the hot weather!”

James, once again, rolled his eyes and conceded, “There's enough bang in there to send us all to Jesus. I'm gonna die, I wanna die comfortable.”

Joslyn looked over to the car and a bomb canister that James uncovered, which was poking out of the driver’s side of the car. There was enough explosive in the car to kill everyone nearby, including her teammates, even if they took cover. She sighed and said to Sanborn over the comms, “James is taking off his bomb suit.”

“What? Why?”

“I saw. There are a lot of canisters there to blow us up or something. I don’t know. Ask James or something.”

James disarmed the shells and began to search the car for the triggering device, a process that took several minutes. At one point, Sanborn tried to talk to him through a headset.

But all he did was tell him to fuck off.

So, he pulled it off and threw it aside.

A few more very tense minutes passed as James searched the car. Sanborn and Eldridge noticed several groups of Iraqis watching them from rooftops and from a minaret. They also saw a man filming the incident with a video camera. At the car, James finally found the triggering device and detached it. 

“You done?” Joslyn asked him.

James replied with a thumb up but quickly turned into a middle finger.

When he returned to the Hummer, he lit a cigarette and was promptly hit in the face by Sanborn.

“You could’ve gotten us killed, you fucker. Don’t do it again.”

He was angry that James, yet again, refused to acknowledge him or any questions he had. James appeared strangely unoffended, nor was he angry at Sanborn.

Joslyn strutted up to him, taking the cigarette out of his hand and stubbed it out. “No.”

“What the fuck?” James snapped, crossing his arms at Joslyn.

“They’re bad for you.” She claimed, also taking his whole box of the deadly things and putting them in her pocket.

“And why do you care?” 

“I’m responsible for your health and safety. That means you need to stop smoking.”

“You’re not my mom!” Accused James, pointing a finger at her. Joslyn sighed and put down his finger with her hand.

“Yeah? Well, it’s my duty to not get you killed. Whether you like it or not. And by the way, I don’t like this either. So, we both have to suck up and get on with it. Okay?” Joslyn walked off.

Before James could stop her, a colonel on the scene approached James and was clearly impressed with James’s steady nerves and ability to handle such a crisis.

Back at the base perimeter, Sergeant James confronted Beckham, who sells pirated DVDs to the soldiers. 

“I want my five bucks back, buddy.”

“Five dollars for what, man? You crazy now?”

“Yeah. The DVD you sold me was crap.”

“You crazy, man. That's impossible. It's Hollywood special effects.”

“No. It was shaky. It was out of focus, buddy.”

“What, you want donkey porn?”

“It's crap.”

“Girls on dog? Gay sex, man? Anything you want, you get. I hook you up, man.”

Joslyn was also at the base perimeter, looking over at Beckham and James. She then realised why they hated each other so much.

It’s because they had a crush on each other. Maybe?

He was handsome from the depth of his eyes to the gentle expressions of his voice.

“I'm gonna buy another DVD, okay? But... if it's shaky - look at me - or out of focus, or any way not 100%, I'm gonna chop off your goddamn head with a dull knife. How do you feel about... I'm just kidding, I'm just kidding.”

James handed over some money and continued saying to Beckham, “Here. You're a good kid.”

James was amused as he hugged the kid’s head. “You're a good kid, aren't ya?”

He told Beckham he could keep the money if he was able to block a shot at the makeshift goal area which was set up.

The man looked like he played soccer for his entire life. Under that uniform was a lithe body that knew how to play and his face backed that up. Within his light tanned face are eyes that twinkle. In just moments of Beckham trying to hustle James further, he broke into a boyish grin.

Beckham blocked the shot and James agreed to buy another movie from him, mildly threatening him if it's defective.

After the team went out to the desert to detonate some of the explosives they've collected on missions (and James recklessly leaving his gloves at the blast zone), she did say to Sanborn that he should stop acting so childish to the idea of blowing James up. She would have agreed to that idea, but not after James’s interaction with Beckham earlier. 

The incident with the Brits and the snipers in the middle of the desert seemed to form a stronger bond between Joslyn and her teammates. Having found that they can actually work well together as a team, they celebrate at James' housing unit.

They took turns pounding each other in the chest and drinking. Joslyn, on the other hand, was sitting in a nearby chair (which was quite comfortable). She rolled her eyes at her teammates’ antics.

By then, they were discussing why James seems to be such a maverick teammate and how he got into their line of work, James shows them a box of parts he's collected from nearly every bomb he's disarmed.

“This box is full of stuff that almost killed me.”

Sanborn saw a picture in James’s box that he got out. “Who’s that?” Sanborn pointed at the photo. James took it out and looked at it.

“That's my son. He's ' tough little bastard. Nothin' like me.”

“You mean to tell me you married?”

“Well, you know, I had a girlfriend and, uh, she got pregnant, so we got married, and we got divorced... or, you know, I thought we got divorced. I mean, she's still living in the house and she says we're still together, so I... I don't know --” 

James paused and got out an engagement ring.

“-- what does that make her? I don't know.”

“Dumb... for still being with your ass.” Sanborn replied, chuckling at him.

James kicked at Sanborn. “Hey! She ain't fucking dumb, all right? She left me, that’s all. We’re not together anymore.”

That’s when it hit Joslyn. It hit her hard. 

Her ex boyfriend’s words, in her head, were like nails and hammers breaking her heart apart, all over again. Her heartbreak was grief that came in waves, gruelling, stealing appetite and sleep alike. It was a shard in her guts that never left, though perhaps in time the edges will dull.

After Sanborn and Eldridge left, Joslyn kept sitting in the chair.

“You still here?” James pondered, as he closed the door and made his way towards his bed, putting the box back under it.

“Yeah…” Joslyn replied, knees up to her face, hugging herself close. 

“You okay?” James pondered again, walking over to Joslyn, sitting next to her.

She shrugged her shoulders. 

“I guess I wasn’t expecting --” 

Her bottom lip quivered, the same as a baby pushed past endurance. Her eyes became glacier blue under the sheen of water, constant. 

She then started to cry.

“Hey. Hey. Why are you crying?” James asked her, knowing what to do straightaway. 

He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close, gently rubbing her arm. Despite the heaviness in her stomach, it fluttered at the feeling of her body pressed against his. She sunk into the warmth of his side, appreciative of the simple gesture. His touch made the room warmer somehow.

“I don’t know. I guess your story about your ex-wife and your son reminded me of my ex-boyfriend.”

His fingers were long and slender, easily rubbing her arm, as if casual wind fluttering across the surface of sand and shifting it into motion so easily. Unlike others' his fingers were thin and frail, shaped by prominent phalange bones and knotted where the joints curled around the ends of each long and short bone in his hands. There was no muscle tone or fat definition and his skin was only the layer of dust so fine over the polished white underneath.

“I’m sorry.”

Joslyn bit her lip, eyes everywhere but on James. Then he moved closer with those eyes that look so deeply into her own.

They both knew it was coming.

James held her gently, cupping her face with one hand, also wiping her tears with his thumb. He leaned down and softly kissed the tender area at the base of her neck. Joslyn’s body went rigid with surprise as trembles shook her body and the euphoric warmth blossomed within her once more. Joslyn was breathless with delight as he showered her with gentle, soft kisses, each with its own flicker of warmth. Joslyn gazed up at him, thrilled beyond words to be the recipient of his affection. He drew back again and spent a moment studying her face.

“Thank you," he said in barely more than a whisper.

"For what?" She replied.

"For being you." His voice wavered, exhilarated from the tension between them.

Joslyn felt her blush deepen under his scrutiny. James gazed at her lovingly, his eyes softening with tenderness before sparking with something else. He tilted her head to the side and kissed her, his lips demanding. Joslyn felt a smoldering heat deep within her as James’s grip tightened, crushing her body to his, gentle yet firm. He slanted her head further, deepening the kiss.

He grabbed her by the waist, pulling her up close against his chest. His hand gently glided through her hair, as he looked at her in a way he had never looked at a girl before. Her eyes were candles in that night, their light a spark of passion... desire. As a small but teasing smile crept upon her face, goosebumps lined her skin, not the kind that one got in the cold, but the kind one gets when nothing else matters except right here, right now.

--------------------

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[lefaystrent]

Everyone's talking about Virgil Angst but meanwhile I'm sitting here thinking about Roman because like?? Presumably he's on Broadway right? And to wake up finding you're a known broadway star has to be a dream come true even if it's jarring that suddenly finding yourself so much older. But like Roman has no memories of the years between hs and now. He wakes up, finds he's performing in a show that very day. bUT NOT ONLY THAT, it's a new show, one he's never heard of so he has no lines 1/?

no lyrics, noblocking memorized. And he's expected to perform. So a thespian's nightmareright there. Maybe for extra Angst points the understudy is out sick. Or hejust forces himself to perform, not wanting to disappoint or miss this"chance" to be on Broadway. Either way it doesn't go well and Romanis left with his spirits crushed and still completely lost as to how he endedup in the future. 2/2

Back to theFuture, part II

Fandom: Thomas Sanders,Sanders Sides

Pairings: platonic LAMP

Word Count: 2620

Masterlist Link

_______________________

Roman wakes up with a pillow beingthrown at his face.

“Chop, chop! Time to go.”

Roman groans, “Is it time forschool already?”

The person laughs.

It’s then that Roman realizes thatit’s neither of his parents, nor one of his friends who would sometimes sleepover.

Roman sits up, shirtless but that’susual. What’s not usual is the man fixing his hair in the mirror of a largevanity table.

“Who are you?” Roman asks,instantly suspicious. He snatches up a hair brush that’s lying on the bedsidetable, wielding it like a sword. “Where am I? What do you want with me?”

The man meets his eyes in themirror, sees something funny, and rolls his eyes with a laugh. “Alright, Mr.Big Shot. Save the acting for the stage. We’re gonna be late if you don’t hurryup and get dressed. And Dot will have both of our asses if we’re late foropening night.”

Opening night?

Stage?

Cute guy?

Oh, this had to be a dream.

Roman was good at dreams.

“Very well then. Wouldn’t want todisappoint all of my adoring fans, would I darling?” Roman boasts, to which theguy snorts and tells him to hurry up again.

Roman slips away and finds thebathroom. He’s debating whether or not to snap his fingers and conjure up amagnificent outfit. That is, until he catches a glimpse of himself in themirror.

He screams like he’s in a horrormovie, which maybe he is.

“What—what’s wrong?” the no-nameguy from earlier yells, banging on the bathroom door but Roman had locked it.

“I’M OLD!!!”

He’s over thirty now, and to a guywho was just seventeen yesterday, that’s pretty old my dude.

Frantic, Roman throws open thebathroom door and demands, “What magic did you cast on me?”

“What?”

“My face! Look at it!” Roman screeches,looking into the mirror once again and rubbing at his face as if the signs ofaging would disappear. “I mean, I’m still gorgeous, BUT I’M OLD!!!”

The guy looks at him like he’scrazy, which maybe he is but wow, no need to judge. “Uhhhh, are you going througha mid-life crisis right now? Because can you do that later? When, ya know, wedon’t have somewhere to be?”

“I was just seventeen yesterday,”Roman tells his reflection mournfully.

“Okay, if this is the kind ofbaggage Roman Prince has, remind me not to sleep with him again.”

Roman chokes at that.

“E-excuse me? We did what?!”

“Just cut the crap already,” theguy grunts and leaves. “I’ll be waiting outside,” he calls before a door slamsclosed.

Roman is left alone with hisreflection.

He snaps his fingers, but nothinghappens.

He gives a grin anyway. “Just gottaget into the swing of things is all.”

*

Roman meets the guy outside. Hedoesn’t bother asking for his name, since it’s not important to the dreamanyway. And really, this isn’t unlike a lot of Roman’s other dreams. Waking upto a cute guy? Check. Performing in a Broadway musical? Check.

Being the headlining actor for saidBroadway musical?

Super big check.

They’re in the theater now, andRoman is smiling and greeting a bunch of people who seem to know him. He goesalong with whatever they’re saying. He runs into the director Dot that theno-name guy mentioned earlier. And somewhat confusingly, he finds his dressingroom. It’s amazing and wonderful and in such detail, and sitting on the chair bythe dressing table is the script they’re performing tonight. Roman picks it upwith a wide grin.

He nearly drops it.

He’s the headlining actor for aplay he’s never even heard of.

Okay. Okay, okay okay.

Roman is in his dressing room—HISDRESSING ROOM ON BROADWAY. This whole place is designed by him to work how hepleases. If he just looks away and looks back again it’ll change—

Nope, that didn’t work. He squintsdown at the font, hoping to place the title.

“A New Lease on Life.”

From a skim through it’s somethingabout a parasitic demon trapped in the body of a magically gifted human?Roman’s character is the parasite.

“I know musicals are weird, butwhat in the name of Julie Andrews,” Roman says to himself.

But this is a dream. It’s okay. Hecan just…get up on stage and have the time of his life!

That’s not how it happens though.They do last minute run throughs. Roman is not magically landing the lines.Hell, he doesn’t even know them! The director yells at him to stop messingaround, and Roman is honestly hurt and disoriented enough to start crying rightthen.

But this is supposed to be hisdream! He can’t cry. He’s a Broadway actor! He’s got this!

*

Remember when he said ‘he’s gotthis’?

Yeeaaah . . .

The evening is upon them, theaudience files in, and Roman is standing on stage with no clue as to what he’sdoing.

He skimmed the script earlier,curious because usually he couldn’t read things in his dreams. He says thelines he remembers, but he misses a cue, and then the actor who’s playing therole of the character he’s possessing hisses under their breath what his lineis. It’s appreciated, but Roman can’t hear it over the thundering roar in hisears. The audience is waiting for something incredible to happen and Roman . ..

Roman’s waiting too.

*

This isn’t one of Roman’s dreams.

This is a nightmare.

Roman is a deer caught in theheadlights. He’s sweating and breathing so loudly that surely the audience musthear it. The lights are too bright and he’s standing on the edge of the stagein the middle of what’s supposed to be this sinister monologue.

This isn’t working. He just needsto take a breath, take a step back, listen more carefully to his costar’s constanthissing, and maybe things will get back on track.

Roman’s leg buckles when he triesto move it. He’s too close to the edge of the stage. He thinks for a momentthat he can catch himself, but his palms are slick with sweat and he slipsright over. He lands on his back, the wind knocked out of him, and he doesn’tremember much after that.

He wakes up, not in his bedroom athome but in his Broadway dressing room. Someone’s there, someone that Romandoesn’t recognize.

“Sloan picked up where you leftoff,” she says. She’s looking at Roman with pity.

“Sloan?” he questions. In thedistance, he can hear the muffled noises of the show going on.

She looks pissed off now. “Youknow, your understudy? Maybe if your head wasn’t shoved up your ass all thetime, you’d remember the names of us little people.”

She storms out of the room.

Roman lets his head thump back downon the bench someone laid him on.

He could wallow in his misery. Hecould let this nightmare beat him down. He could curl up and have himself anice cry. Princes are made for bawls after all.

“Sorry, but this prince has toleave before midnight,” he says.

He hops up to his feet. His headhurts and there’s a painful twinge in his leg and arm from where he must havefallen on them. But he can still move. He has to.

Roman turns his back on Broadway togo search for answers.

As he’s walking down the sidewalk,he ignores the busy city life. He pulls out his phone, immediately searchingfor his emo sidekick’s number.

He doesn’t find it.

What he does find though areseveral missed calls from Patton.

“Curiouser and curiouser,” hequotes. He calls Patton up.

“Roman?!” Patton answers after thefirst ring.

“Hey Padré! I hope you’ve got sometime to chat because you will not believe where I am right now!”

*

Roman was all the way in New York.

That’s a little more than a carride from Florida.

Logan had known that Roman became aBroadway star. He’d even told Roman that he would one day become one, but thatwas back in high school when Roman was an upset seventeen-year-old and Loganwas an eleven-year-old kid who knew too much. The news might have given Romansome form of comfort when he was figuratively down, but he certainly hadn’tbelieved it as Logan foretelling the future.

When Logan woke up as twenty-nineagain—after the initial freaking out period—he decided to contact his friendsto test a hypothesis. He needed to encounter someone who he’d never been affiliatedwith before in his future time, people like Roman, Virgil, and Patton.

Roman was too far off however. Notto mention it’d prove difficult to request a celebrity’s time, one that wasn’tsupposed to know you.

And Logan did doubt that any ofthem knew him. He suspected that he hadn’t been pushed forward through time butreplaced back into his own time, a timeline separate from the past one he’dbeen in. Nothing in his house had changed, no signs of his friends. No texts orcontacts on his phone to match.

So Logan searched for the othertwo. Virgil proved to be all but nonexistent upon his initial online researching.Patton immediately garnered results.

“An advice columnist,” Logan hadsaid to himself, unable to smother down the smile that tugged up his lips.Patton had made quite a name for himself in northern Florida. He’d been hostedseveral times on talk shows and was working on promoting his second self-helpbook that had recently released.

Logan had set off to find Patton,and find him he did.

And Patton . . . Patton had rememberedhim.

And even though Logan felt trulysorry that this disorienting situation caused his friend a great deal ofdistress, he couldn’t help but feel a wash of relief knock into him at the factthat his friend was still his friend. That those memories weren’t worthless ora vivid dream.

And then, once they had workedthrough establishing the existence of time travel, Patton suggests that theothers might be in the same boat.

“What boat? We’re not in a boat.”

“Figure of speech, Lo,” Pattonsmiles a little, despite himself.

If he and Patton are here afterjumping through time, it’s not impossible that Roman and Virgil could be thesame.

“They might not be here,” Logansuggests, swallowing down a sharp feeling of disappointment. “Whatever happenedto us, they may not have been a part of it.”

“Or they might have,” Patton pushesstubbornly. He can see the same hope welling in him, the same selfish desire tonot be alone. “We’re always hanging out together. They might have . . . gottencaught up in it? Whatever it is.”

“. . . and you already tried callingRoman?”

Patton tries all day. Logan wandersthe house a lot, investigating what kind of person Patton grew up to be. It’s .. . interesting to say the least, seeing his friend who had previously been ateenager suddenly as a grown adult, older than himself at that. Logan pondersover whether Patton feels the same amount of puzzlement. Although, Patton doesn’tseem to be interested in much that requires moving from the couch.

Ever since Logan theorized them notbeing friends in this timeline, Patton has become lethargic. Logan is ill-preparedto deal with this kind of Patton.

That night, Logan hears Patton’sphone ring. Logan doesn’t pay it much mind. The phone had been ringing off andon ever since Patton had run away from work that morning. Logan continues to pokearound the kitchen, relishing his normal body and the height that allows him toeasily reach into the tall cabinets.

“Roman?!” Patton screams from theliving room.

Logan immediately abandons any notionof dinner.

“Did he call you?” Logan blurtsout, racing into the room. It’s an unnecessary question, because what elsecould have happened? Patton waves his hand at him to shush him.

“Where are you kiddo? Are you okay?”Patton asks. He clutches the phone to his ear with both hands as if he couldhold Roman there.

Impatient, Logan sits right besidePatton and leans in to eavesdrop.

“Where else would a star like me beother than Broadway?”

Yes, that’s Roman’s proud voicefiltering through.

“Broadway?” Patton repeats, lookingat Logan questioningly.

“He’s in New York,” Logan affirms.

“What is he doing there?” Pattonasks.

“Is someone else there?” Roman interrupts.“You’re talking to someone else when you have me on the phone?”

“Sorry, Ro. I was just talking to—um . . .”

“To?”

“To, um . . . Logan.”

“Oh, well tell that nerd that I’mon Broadway and I’m fabulous, even if I am old now.”

Patton and Logan share a look.

Logan pries the phone out of Patton’shold and puts it on speaker. “You remember who I am?”

“Who? Wait, who’s that?”

“That’s Logey, kiddo.”

“That doesn’t sound like the littletwerp I know. Wait, is he super old now too? Are we all old geezers? Man, thisis a really weird dream.”

“Yes, it’s me. Yes, we’re older,”Logan answers. At least Roman is understanding the situation they’ve beendropped in. “Roman, I need you to answer a couple of questions for me please.”

“If I’m older now, why do I have toput up with more study sessions from you?”

“This isn’t school-related, Roman.”

“Please, Ro. It’s important,”Patton urges.

“Fiiine, if you must.”

“Did you wake up today in anunfamiliar setting with no memory of how you got there?”

“Yeah? Nothing too unusual.”

“How—how is that not unusual foryou?”

“Happens all the time in dreams,duh. Use that big brain of yours, Jimmy Neutron—wait, you’re not a kid geniusanymore. I’m going to have to come up with new nicknames. Not to worry, I’mgreat at improvising!”

Great at ignoring reality as wellit seems.

“Um, Roman?” Patton prompts. “Whatdo you mean by dreams?”

“This isn’t a dream,” Loganpresses.

“What else could it be?” Romanlaughs, and it doesn’t matter that the sound is slightly distorted through thephone. Both Logan and Patton can tell that there’s something off about it.

“Roman, that’s not—” Patton starts,but Logan cuts him off.

“Roman, do you have Virgil’scontact saved perhaps?”

“No, I don’t actually. Weird,right? Oh, I know! He must be hidden away from us in a tall tower in amonster-filled forest. Never fear, we shall rescue our emo in distress!”

Patton bites his lip, staring atLogan. “He doesn’t have his number either? What does it mean, Logan?”

“It could mean that Virgil doesn’thave a phone,” Logan tries, but neither of them buys it.

“Virge . . .” Patton whispers, eyeswelling up.

Logan focuses back on the phone.Roman keeps asking if they’re still there. “Yes, we’re here. And that soundslike an excellent idea, Roman. Why don’t you meet up with us here in Floridaand we’ll brainstorm a plan of action in order to locate Virgil.”

“Can do!”

Later, after Logan has helped Romango over how to book a plane ticket (“No Roman, you can’t just teleport here.Think of this as a . . . side quest, like in the video games you like.”), heends the call and turns to Patton. Patton’s sitting there, arms wrapped aroundhis legs and face buried in his knees.

“We’ll find out what happened tohim,” Logan tells him.

Patton doesn’t respond.

_____________________________

General Tag list: @spectralheartt @a-pastel-pan @notalwaysthevillian @rose-gold-roman @ijustrealizedhowdumbmynamewas @katie-the-noble-fangirl @yourroyalydramaticanxiousness @aroundofapplesauce @merlybird500 @beach-fan @jemthebookworm @whats-going-on-kiddos @randomsandersides @gamerfreddie @unring-this-bell @analogicallythinking @lilygold23 @punsterterry @levy-the-b00kw0rm @tacohippy56900 @accio-hufflepuff-power1 @just-another-rainbowblog @georganabanana @grey-says-heck @crookedlyoptimisticdestiny @thesynysterunknown @idont-know-what-im-doing @idioticsky @fadingglowcloud @whizzie72 @theinvisiblespoon @greyyy523 @opaque-puppet @just-fic-me-up @wowimsogoddamnoriginal @sos-fandoms @loganeatsbooks @trust-is-overrated @theitalianalchemist @im-crunchie @mourning--star @4amanxiety @hogwarts-my-love @enby-phoenix @justanotherpurplebutterfly @internet-or-sleep @absolutesandersidestrash @seaspider10 @nonasficcollection @small-words-to-say @satanblessi @an-absolute-failure @analogical-mess @noisyeggpizzapatrol @hamilsandersfam @cefinitely-rolo @thgjclw @knight-shives @no-no-no-no-6 @savingshae @rabbitsartcorner @buddypallady @midnight-tragedyy

Kid Logan AU list: @under-the-blue-moonlight @broadwaytheanimatedseries @joyful-milkshake-observation @absolutesandersidestrash @midnightmagi @justcallmepancake @nerd-in-space @thestrangedino @deathshadowrules @entitydark @vintage-squid @max-is-tired @deceitfullyanxiousprince  @shai-uwu @teacupfulofstarshine @the5thcoy @occasionally-pauciloquent @oakskull @teepee-honesty @mrtacothethird @fandomobsessed-nerd @mychemicalcheezwhiz @that-smol-tired-gay @skittlesun @caterpiller-tea @sanders-sides-rebloger @penguinkool @its-the-cat-queen @liz-a-bell @theresneverenoughfandoms @i-know-im-smart @ever-after-aaa @007ardra @starbucks-remy @lovebug5151 @yyeeeeeeeeett @adoratato @theobsessor1 @soijusthavetoask @ab-artist @always-in-a-fandom @iris-sanders-athena @doing-my-demibest @connors-writing-sux @lizziepopanime @charakitcat @dall-off-weekes @wowimsogoddamnoriginal @sign-from-god-complex @pumpkinminette @cosmic-melodies @sullycreatesstuff @lovesupportandcookies @som3thing-cr3ativ3 @unicornlogansanders @rainysharkfreaklover @potato--justpotato @ghostscantdie @virgilneedsahug @thatonenerdphotographer @the-cactus-lord @cocobearthe4th @neverasherpoetry @midnight--fox @falsehoodx @crazy-rat-man @lokinas @rosiepupper @insert--self--hatred @dorkoverse @herestheanxietea @spirits-in-my-thoughts

[rainbow-ribbonchan]

For anon - stim toys! These are what's in my main box rn 💖🎀

First, stimtastic chewables!

The donut was my first ever chewy, and while I love the texture it hurts to chew if I chew it for a long time as it's hard. However it's great for setting in between my teeth so i dont grind them!

I have a bunch of the straws, great for light chewing and helps reduce plastic waste! Also fun to flap around.

The blossom feels great but I still have a hard time figuring out how I'm *supposed* to chew it. I usually put my teeth in between the petals?

The beads are great for when I don't need texture, very very soft due to the hollow part needed to put them on a necklace. However the black dulcimer pendant does this but better for me.

The ufo has wonderful textured stars on the back, and it's one of my favourites. Reaches my back teeth easily!

The feather is my fave pendant. Hyper textured but VERY fragile. I've never dented a chewy except the feather. so soft n I like rubbing it on my mouth too!

Honestly, I don't like the moose much. Cute texture on the back, but feels boring and awkward for my mouth.

This is my second raccoon, I lost the first. His nut is sooo squishy and i love gnawing it! Great texture on the back and wedging my teeth in the tail and ear ridges is very satisfying.

The bat has WONDERFUL textures and doesn't hurt to chew as it has thin wings. If you prefer thick, you can gnaw the body but I don't.

The mushroom is another fave. It gives a pacifier like bit to suck, doesn't hurt because it has a thin area, and has texture when you need it!

the Dulcimer is my second fave. Gentle texture, long enough to reach my back teeth, and very flexible. Discreet as well if that matters to you, but I've never really thought about it.

squishies! honestly, I can't use the lower grade ones (all three on the bottom) at all. They're all from Michael's and they hurt my fingers. I have a joint disorder and they're simply far too tough to enjoy. The cake is wonderful though, don't know the brand as it was a gift sadly.

Neko Dango plush cats

Very soft plush cats with beans in the bottom. Like a small weighted stuffed animal. Great for rubbing, just holding, or light tossing.

Tangles

I have a ton of these but my favourite is the purple bumpy textured one. You can see I just got a new one as I'm wearing the old one out fast. The texture is soo good but unobtrusive.

The 'crazy!' tangles used to be my faves, but now every time I use one I just want the purple, if you prefer some smooth spots I'd check those out.

I really don't like the green/yellow (?) and silver metallic ones. Their texture gets in the way of me fidgeting, which I do a lot and quickly. I might enjoy them more if I was gentle?

The blue metallic has a similar problem but not as badly.

Various stimtastic toys

The pink and silver metal fidgets are hands down my fave stim toy. You just turn them over in your hand and experience perfection, or jingle them lightly in your palm. The smaller one made my hands hurt so I got the bigger one and it fixed the issue.

Panda squishes are so soft and I can use them unlike other cheap squishies. The printed faces will come off with use, but that's to be expected.

The two snap n clicks give GREAT feedback and function similarly to a tangle, but with a click every time you move a joint.

The square puzzle is from a different place, but stimtastic sells the same ones now. Great if you love the feeling of something snapping into place. However the blocks are held together by a string in the center that is taught but stretchy and ppl who have used mine have said they didn't like that feeling!

The zipper bracelet is so fun to slide back and forth, plus i click the zippers teeth closed for extra fun

Everything else in this pic is from a halloween pack and I don't have much to say about those, mainly it's all fun to jangle.

Various toys

My favourite cube is the green one. Not sure of the knockoff name but it's not an antsy labs one and I prefer its joystick to the labs one. The rotating circle side doesn't click.

Spinners are just various ones, worth the money for an expensive one though as they are heavier n weighted better.

1$ ruler from walmart, very stimmy love folding it n flapping it.

1$ flip sequin star from Michael's. what you would expect, plush side is soft and it flips easily

Plus+ blocks are fun to push together and pull apart! similar in a way to legos but soft and they don't hurt to detach