#i got a little further in the next life but mostly i've been too busy with analogue life to be active here

[poppiesforthirteen]

I miss you guys :(

[igglemouse]

It's Friday and for some reason it feels a little peculiar, a little off. The air is a buzz with some kind of weird energy and I don't know why but I have feeling today will be a very memorable day. Just a feeling!

I told you today would be an odd day as Candela, yes, that Candela, texts me? My heart skips a beat as I read the message, confused at what I'm seeing as uncertainty kicks in. Could it be her? I thought I'd never see her again and while she's always been a close friend I wonder...do I want it to be her? Do I want that piece of my past dipping back into my life? Would I want her back in my life? Definitely, but I worry about how much of the past she might drag into my current mostly happy life. I tried to call her but I got nothing back. Maybe that is for the best.

I was ready to dwell on it maybe investigate it further but Pascal comes sweeping into the room, angry about something, likely his kick ball thing. It's always about futbol with him isn't it? I'm proven correct the moment he opens his mouth.

"It's the manager," he starts and his whole face is tinted with his anger. "I keep telling him he plays me too deep, I need to be up more, attacking more! We would have won if-"

"Pascal, my dear, I have no idea what you are talking about," I really have no clue.

"I'm trying to win games here and I'm not sure what he's trying to do? Prove a point? He claims we win the ball more when I play-"

"Pascal!" I reach out for him, my hands finding his shoulders and arms, squeezing, getting a handle of him because he is really worked up about this. "You are speaking another language right now!" I joke, hoping to add levity to our conversation.

"Right," he calms down at once, settling down just enough so that he could think clearly. "You are right. I just wanted to vent, can't vent to the team because that could cause issues you know-"

"Oh," now I feel slightly bad. I have been meaning to learn more about this sports ball game he plays but I've been so busy and tired and pregnant. "Well, yes, you can vent to me! I just want you to know you might have to do more explaining is all!" He really seems to like that and I love that I calmed him down!

Pascal goes off to work and that left me here cleaning which is fine since I feel like I'm really just passing time. I don't have a food stand anymore so for now I have shifted into the more domestic kind of role. I'm sure once I do officially become a mama I'll have less and less time so maybe I should just enjoy the time I have right now!

Despite my feeling that something special might happen today nothing does. It plods on as a normal day but at least Sara decides to stop by and has a new hairstyle as well? I think she looks amazing with it! I wonder if this is because of her new mysterious boyfriend in any way?

"I love it! It frames your face perfectly!" Doesn't it? I can't help but gush about her new style and the smile on her face tells me she's happy with it too.

"Yeah, I was skeptical right after but waking up in the morning and seeing my reflection? Yeah, yeah, I look good, don't I?"

I beam my approval, she does, she's always have. She would struggle with her confidence but you know ladies sometimes a new hairstyle is all you need. "Is the new mystery guy the motivation or?"

That question makes her look a little doubtful and maybe even slightly offended? "No, no, I think he liked my old style to be honest? I just felt like...it was time to change something up?" She seemed uncertain about it, maybe the change was just a whim she had and went with it. Sometimes you have to go with the flow.

"A change is all you really need sometimes!" I chime in to reassure her and she gives me a small smile. Just then, it felt like the right time to dive into her love life or more particular this mystery guy. I was just ready to open my mouth when she beats me to it.

"What about you and Pascal?" She asks, curious as always. "He's been having a rough time out on the pitch lately."

I'm ready to ask what's wrong but she's eager to explain, taking a long breath. "I think they just haven't found the right spot for him, the right space. Chemistry issues. He started the season blazing hot but has slowed down some. I think the defenses are starting to key in on him, getting rough with him, frustrating him-"

"Oh," and I was listening intently but again, she's speaking a new language to me, one I haven't even tried learning. "I wish I knew what you were talking about."

She chuckles and waves it off. "Ah, it's just a kids game, but I guess it is taken a little seriously?" She then looked at my belly which is now hard to ignore. "You are huuuuuge!"

"Yeah, I'm just ready for her to come out at this point," I give my belly a few pats and she responds with a kick, maybe she's ready too.

"I'm definitely not looking forward to that whole process myself!"

"Oh?" My eyebrow raises because I think this is the first time she's talked about becoming a mom. "Are you and ummm, your mystery guy, you two are serious then?"

"I...maybe? It feels right, you know? It just feels...right. He's a good man, dedicated, attentive, driven. It feels right."

I nod, even though I'm not sure I fully understand. This pregnancy was unplanned for me. I'm not saying I regret it, far from it, but life is certainly coming at me fast. So I find that my only reply can be "Sometimes you have to listen to your gut," but I also realize this is my chance. "This guy, who is he? Can I at least get a name?"

She chuckles softly. "Oh, yeah sure, I guess that isn't big deal! It's Simo-"

"Sara?!?!" I cut her off, I wanted to know, I did but... "I-it's go time! C-can you drive?!"

I am thankful Sara was there since I doubted Pascal could make it home in time. She was steady and serious and once at the hospital things really started to just...happen. Needles, nurses, doctors, all in a flurry. All moving in a practiced ritual and moving a sone as if they were a team that had done this hundreds of times before. Maybe they have. I knew I was in good hands but still that wouldn't stop the fear. What if something goes wrong? What if she's not...whole? What if she comes out wrong? What if...

"Don't worry Miss Varela, your vitals are good, everything is fine, she's going to be beautiful," the doctor tells me. I take a deep breath and calm down.

After the 'pre-game' it was time for the first kick. I'll be honest and say it was not fun. All I remember from it was pain and the mantra of push and breathe, push and breath, push and breath, push and breath, push and breath, push and breath, push and breath...

For a moment I wondered when it would end. Hours had passed, how many I could not be sure, but eventually magic begun and after crying and wailing and pain and blood and tears I was holding her. She wriggled and screamed her lungs out, my little Florencia.

Frida Varela - Next Episode 8.5

[meguyummy]

pls see the vision lets have a reddit love story guys! reader owns a book store, izuku's a nerd, pt 1.

--

Internet anonymity is something that you abuse often. Who could really blame you, though?

It's late evening, almost closing time. Sat behind the counter in your small antique bookstore, the only noises you hear are the occasional rustling and crunching of autumn leaves. Today was a slow day, and you're insanely bored. Pulling out your phone, you wonder which app to kill time on before closing up shop. Twitter has been uninteresting, and YouTube has irritatingly long unskippable ads. So recently, you've turned to Reddit. More specifically, r/HeroSnark.

Initially, all your critiques on heroes were posted on Twitter, long and profane rants that got you suspended multiple times. You gained a following for being an outspoken "hero hater", but the sheer amount of die-hard All Might fans who almost found your location deterred further posting. Hating in peace was way more fun than getting swatted.

Has anybody else noticed how sloppy Pinky is getting with her acid recently? Public damage is out the fucking wazoo. Istg if I see another hole in the sidewalk I'll riot.

After posting to the subreddit, you turn off your phone and stand up, ready to flip the sign on the door to "closed" and head home. That's when the work phone rings. Of fucking course that's when the phone rings.

Plopping back down with a groan, you yank the phone out of the receiver and greet the caller, wondering if they've ever checked your closing time (or have, and were just shameless enough to not care).

"Hi! I noticed you have a copy of Captain Cosmos' special edition autobiography and I was wondering if you could hold it for me. I'll pay extra!"

You cringe, scrunching up your face at the phone. The voice on the was certainly.. enthusiastic. The caller was a guy, with a deep, but still somewhat boyish voice. He must be a fanboy on a different level if he liked Captain Cosmos, an ancient and mostly irrelevant hero. Your store offered all kinds of obscure old books, and despite your personal dislike, you knew better than to hurt business by not selling hero media.

"Yeah... I could do that if you're planning on coming to pick it up within the next two days. Are you?" You hope your exhaustion isn't too obvious from your voice.

"Yes! Yeah, I am. Thank you so so much I've been looking all over for it. I'll be there tomorrow!"

You say both say parting words, and you put the phone down, closing up quickly so no other last-minute calls can stall you. Walking up the stairs you retire to your apartment.

Living above the shop was a dream come true, allowing you to thrive without the possibility of an annoying downstairs neighbor. The space was cozy, designed perfectly to your liking after years of living there. After a relaxing shower, you slump into the couch. Checking the post, you read replies from others who have noticed the exact same issue and are equally frustrated by it, some even bringing up more problems you hadn't even noticed yet. You upvote a couple responses, reply to others, and turn on a sitcom.

The amount of bitching done online doesn't mean you're an asshole to people in real life too. Not to normal people, at least. The fact that heroes act like celebrities instead of the crucial emergency workers they really are grinds your gears. Who needs to see Can't Stop Twinkling's annoying ass on TV for something that isn't a rescue? There's a pedestal that they always put themselves on, like they're all-mighty and amazing and need to be praised, but their actions never speak enough for your liking.

A new reply catches your attention, and your brows furrow reading it. This is probably because she's been suffering injuries from her last mission and has still been pushing herself to work and save civilians! We should all be a little bit nicer :)

You frown, blinking hard down at your phone at the reply. Why the hell is.. u/minimight on here to spread positivity? Wrong place for that, bud. You pause the sitcom and sit up from your slouching position on the couch, readying your thumbs.

First, the downvote button gets smashed. Hard.

Dude, I honestly couldn't give less of a fuck that she's injured. If she can be a guest judge on The Masked Singer while injured, she can try a little harder to not make the sidewalk in my area look like Swiss cheese.

Why would anybody who likes heroes spend any time in that subreddit? The whole point is being able to dunk on them freely. You're not going to let some random guilt-trip you.

A reply comes in a minute later. The sidewalk is going to be fixed soon, it was just a minor inconvenience that came during her battle to save a life!

Way to make it deeper than it was supposed to be, u/minimight. You send another quick downvote.

Don't care lol save it for a hero-dickeating subreddit, not this one. You type.

While I understand your frustration, we should give more grace! I know how inconvenient and annoying things like this are, but not everything turns out as planned.

Holy shit they're not done. You don't really feel like arguing with a hero stan tonight, so you reply with a photoshopped picture of All Might in a clown suit.

They quickly reply. I just wish more people would have an open mind on these issues.

Yeah, u/minimight is gonna feel the banhammer soon. After swiftly downvoting their reply, you click on their account. They're a member of a couple All Might subreddits, which are expected, but also some more snark ones as well. They've written a couple of long posts written about random obscure heroes and their 'impact on hero culture'. Seeing that, you decide to write them off another annoying hero superfan and turn your phone off, changing the TV to a movie you've wanted to watch for a while.

Disappointed, (the movie was way worse than you expected) you switch off the TV and head to bed. As you lie there in the darkness, the image of All Might in a clown suit comes to mind, bringing a slight smile to your lips. Maybe tomorrow will be a less annoying day, free from hero fanatics.

[i-arch-my-backula]

Halloween slasher event: Graveyard date with Candyman

Welcome to day four of the slasher Halloween event I have lined up for y'all. I'm writing these out of order a bit because I need to try and write anything before I run out of time so sorry if some of these are a bit rushed. It's currently the 10th of September so let's hope I can get these done. Reader is gn.

Warnings: Well it takes place in a graveyard so there's that, a little strong language, minor injury to reader

It's a cloudy day October day and you're bored out of your mind. You've got a few days off work but nothing to do. Your mind turns to your boyfriend, Daniel as you like to call him. You find Candyman to be a bit childish and somewhat rude but he doesn't seem to mind much. You hear the sound of your mail falling through the slot on your door. You get off your couch and go to grab it. You look through the letters as you walk to your kitchen. Letters from your bank, ads, junk mail mostly, but you get to a black envelope, sealed with red wax with the imprint of a bee. The letter has your name written in cursive on it.

You smile and open the letter.

My dearest Y/n, I'd like to offer you on a date tomorrow. A lovely walk in an old graveyard along with something to eat while we're there, a picnic of sorts. I've missed you dearly since you've been so busy with your job. I thought that this would be much more of a romantic way to ask you to join me. I remember you talking about your desire for love letters and such months ago. The graveyard is old and not near many people so we won't have to worry about intrusion. It's Grey's graveyard off of 13th street. I was thinking you could join me at 11. l I do hope you'll join me my beloved. You always know how to reach me. With much love, Candyman.

You smile and press the paper to your chest in a cliche way but you don't care. You have a date with your lovely boyfriend. You know he'll take care of the food too. All you have to do is get dressed up for him.

When the next day comes you're sure to groom yourself well. Showering, doing your hair, and picking out a lovely outfit. You went with something more romantic but still gothic. Black and red are your colors. A red button up shirt with ruffles, a black jacket and black pants to match. You put on shoes you can comfortably walk in but still not too dressed down. The graveyard he'd mentioned is a bit of a drive but you don't mind at all. You get in your car and make your way over. Butterflies fill your stomach as you draw closer and closer to the graveyard.

You walk to the enterance of the cemetary and look around for your boyfriend. You don't want to call out his name. You feel like you can't speak here at all. You've been to a graveyard a few times to visit distant family who've died. Great grandparents, second cousins, great aunts and uncles, but it's always so off putting not knowing who or what lurks in these areas.

"Hello," A deep voice behind you says. You jump a little at the scare and turn around to look at your boyfriend. He's dressed as he always is but today it seems so much more romantic, "I'm glad to see you my love."

"I'm glad to see you too. Shall we?" You ask holding out your hand for him to take. He takes it and joins you in walking further into the graveyard, "How long have you had this planned?" You ask looking at all the dried up flowers on tomb stones of those who pasted. All of them seem to be at least 20 years old.

"I've always wanted to take you somewhere. I've always wanted to show you the beauty that comes with dark things. It is sad when someone passes, for some that is. Death is natural, we should not fear it."

"Easy for you to say," You tease, "But I understand trying to find beauty in the darker parts of life. Sadness can bring beauty, death can bring beauty. I just feel awkward being here."

"It's normal to feel this way. But I implore you to focus on the moment, not the setting." You nod and continue to walk between the tombstones. You catch Daniel up on your life and job. What's been happening and so on. He listens and asks questions. Always happy to hear what his partner has to say. eventually you reach a blanket and a basket laid out in a larger grassy area away from the tomb stones. You smile and look over at Daniel.

“Oh darling how sweet,” You two sit together on the blanket and you open the basket you find your favorite cake, plated, and silverware waiting for you. You also spot a small jar of honey. You smile and take out your slice of cake, “Don’t you want some too?” You ask noticing there’s only one slice.

“I’m quite fine my dear. I don’t need food to live. I’ve gotten this just for you.” You smile and lean over to kiss him on the cheek.

“Thank you Daniel,” You plate your cake and drip some honey onto it. You take a bite and smile, “This is amazing. How’d you make this?”

“Well I have a few tricks up my sleeve.” You chuckle and continue to eat your cake. You spend the next few hours sitting on the blanket with him, just enjoying each others company on this lovely October day.

[miss-smutty]

The Destructive Secret

Chapter 7

A/N- I'm back! At least I think I am 😂 I wrote this while I was struggling with writer's block so I don't think it's great but the next chapter I'm working on I feel back to the old me 🥳🤞

Summary- Are your lies finally going to catch up to you?

Word count- 2.8K

Pairing- Chris Hems x reader x Liam Hems

Warnings- Mature themes, cheating, swearing, smut

Strictly 18+ only!

Disclaimer: This is an entire work of fiction/AU and has no affiliation to real life what so ever! This is a fictional story about fictional characters who happen to share names and faces with some real people.

Posted: 2nd Sept 2021

Taglist:- @innerpaperexpertcloud @pandaxnienke @chickensarentcheap @jjpogueprincess @longlostinanotherworld @mostly-marvel-musings @darklydeliciousdesires @monet-belle

The Destructive Secret Masterlist <

The guy turned to leave before looking back over his shoulder at the door, his hand on the door handle.

"If it makes any difference I would choose you over your brother any day." He winked as he left the room.

"What the actual fuck." You shout, storming out of the bathroom in a huff. "There's no way he's gunna stay quiet, it'll be all over the press come tomorrow." You paced the room, your heart beating fast as the adrenaline rushed through you. This was it, this was how it was all going to end. Liam would know as soon as he saw the headlines, all those late night and weekend conferences at the same time as Chris was conveniently away with work.

"To be fair, he does have good taste in men." Chris' usual nonchalance annoyed you, how come he could stay so calm? Why did he make you sound like a crazy person for actually worrying about what might happen.

"It's really not funny Chris, do you want our business known by strangers before we even have chance to speak to Liam and your Mom Chris, she's going to hate me." You feel the warm tears dripping down your cheeks before you even register you're crying. The thought of their mom hating you upsets you more than the thought of Liam hating you. Cathy, their mom was like your own mother, from day one she'd taken you under her wing.

"My Mom would love you no matter what, you know she thinks of you as her own daughter. It's me she's going to blame, Liam's her baby." 

"Yeah you're probably right but still what are we gunna do?" 

"Let's relax babe, you don't know what's going to happen and you can't change it if it does happen so what's the use in worrying about it. Come here."

"You piss me off Chris, you're so laid back. This isn't something you can just sweep under the carpet. It's serious." You needed to take your anger out on him, to let it all out so you could feel better. The four walls of the hotel room were becoming claustrophobic, you wish you could just put your headphones on and just run for a while to clear your head, that's what you usually did.

"I know it is but what can we do? I've done everything we can do, now it's out of our hands. We'll work it out tomorrow, can we enjoy our last night together without all the serious talk?" He raises his eyebrow at you, smiling that sweet, goofy smile of his that has your heart melting.

"You piss me off even more when you look at me like that. I can't stay mad at you and how could I say no to that?" You put your arms around his back, loving the way his height makes you feel so small and safe. He wraps his arms around you, stroking your hair and holding you close.

"That's why I love you yanno." 

"Why?" You ask, looking up at him through your eyelashes, your neck stretching to reach his height.

"Because you never say no." He laughs, a real laugh that you can feel on his toned stomach, shaking against you. It was the best feeling hearing him laugh like that, it'd been so long since you'd heard him laugh. Your life being full of a lot of drama and upset recently that you were appreciative of the little time you had left together.

"Maybe I should start then." You pout pretending to sulk.

"No way, I love how easy you are." He picks you up so you can wrap your legs around him, looking down on him for once. You punch him lightly on his shoulder, still pouting. "Ok, ok I'll stop teasing. You know why I love you though." 

"Tell me." 

He sits down on the end of the bed with you still in his arms, resting on his great big, thick thighs. He moves your hair behind your ears so he can see your face, studying it carefully with a look of adoration in his eyes.

"I love you because you're absolutely drop dead gorgeous, I mean the first time I met you, you literally knocked the air from my lungs. I've been obsessed with you ever since." He shuffles slightly beneath you, getting himself comfy. "This would never have happened with just anyone, I'm not a dick that goes around sleeping with his brothers girls." You give him a questioning look, your eyebrows furrowing. "Seriously, it took fucking everything in me to try and resist you. I'd never felt that before, never been one of them that wants what they can't have. Until I met you. Fuck me you were an absolute bombshell." You frown at him. "Are, still are a bombshell, don't look at me like that." He laughs.

"Tell me more." You whisper, feeling yourself tear up at his revelations as you run your hand through his hair, his eyes closing as you do.

"Am I stroking your ego?" He smiles slyly. "Do you remember the first time you met me?" 

"Of course I do, me and Liam had already been together a year but you'd been in Australia. I was eighteen, young and dumb..."

"And full of..." 

"Do not even finish that sentence, you're ruining the moment." He laughs at you but quickly gets back to being serious.

"You were eighteen and ridiculously mature for your age, I was twenty six and still acted like a teenager. I remember you walking in in that little denim skirt and tank top, smiling at me with that beautiful smile. The first thing I noticed was your eyes, the way they lit up when you smiled. You had me right at that moment, I was smitten. Then you introduced yourself as Liam's girlfriend and my heart sank." 

"I can't believe you remembered what i was wearing, it was twelve years ago." You kiss his forehead, holding his face in your hands. So glad you had the opportunity to talk like this, knowing all this made you know you hadn't made a mistake. "I was so nervous walking up to you, I'd only ever seen you on photos and crushing on you when you were in home and away. Then you're there in front of me looking sexy as hell and I knew I had to make a good impression."

"Little did you know, five years later I'd be bending you over that table and giving you everything you'd been searching for?" He questioned, raising his eyebrow at you with a smirk.

"No, dick! Little did I know you'd sweep me off my feet and make me question everything I ever knew." 

"I am a dick but that's why you love me isn't it?"

"Your ego definitely doesn't need stroking. I fell in love with Liam when I was still a girl and I fell in love with you when I was a woman. People change, needs change and..." 

"And I give you everything you need." His hand travelled to your ass pulling you into him, pressing against his growing erection.

"You do, you need to work on your arrogance though." You laugh. "But seriously I'm done with all this now, we can't go on like this anymore. I want all of you, all of the time."

"So you've made your decision." His lips part, his head resting against your forehead.

"Was there ever any doubt?" You question, running your finger over his lip and grinding against him subtly making him groan.

"Fuck Y/N, I fucking love you so much it's crazy." He says through gritted teeth, holding the small of your back as you raise your hips, your face contorting with need. "What would you do if I asked you to marry me?" His hand travelled down the back of your shorts, cupping your ass in his hands.

"What do you think?" You tease, taking his bottom lip in your teeth and pulling gently.

"I don't know, that's why I'm asking." His face was set seriously, he wasn't joking, he wanted to marry you.

"Of course I'd say yes, once we'd dealt with everything." You smile watching his face light up.

"You're going to be Mrs Hemsworth and mine, not Liam's. I can't fucking wait." He picks you up, gripping your ass making you squeel before planting you back on the bed on your back.

Leaning over you, his palm caressing your stomach, kneeding your breasts with his long fingers. His erection poking into your clothed heat.

"You're so fucking perfect, are you ready to cause destruction?" 

"Like now, in bed or?..." 

"You know what I mean." He laughs, reaching down to attach his lips to your neck, sucking gently.

"If it means I get you then yeah, I'm ready." 

"Right answer. You've made me the happiest fucking man in the world yanno?" His hand moves under your top, pushing it up to your chin as his lips finally meet yours. Kissing you deeply with everything he's got, your body rising from the bed to meet his.

"I think... I can... Make you even happier." You say between kisses, pushing down his boxers, your nails scratching his skin gently as you do. 

He rests on one elbow watching you free his cock from its barrier. You cup his balls in your hand, stroking along the length of his cock with the other. He groans, pushing himself into your hands.

"I'll be happier once I'm buried inside this perfect pussy." He kneels between your legs, pulling your panties off before hovering back over you.

"Go slow baby, I want to feel everything." You whisper.

"Fuck, I can't guarantee how long I'll last." He moans, lining himself up and slipping in making you both moan as his cock stretches your walls perfectly.

He rests on his elbows, holding your face in his hands as he gently thrusts into you, wrapping your legs around him and pushing him in further, deeper. Hitting your spot with the curl of his hips, agonisingly slowly. You look into each others eyes, his forehead resting against yours. Tears in your eyes from the intense intamacy.

"I love you Y/N." He declares gruffly, his voice deep with lust.

"I love you too." You whimper.

Moaning everytime his thighs connected with yours, flesh slapping together, bringing your hips up to meet him. Him grunting with every thrust, your sex noises filling the otherwise silent room. The sound like a symphony to your ears, turning you on even more to hear his exclamations of ecstacy.

"It's always been you Chris." You whisper, making his pace become sloppy, losing his composure and restraint at your words. You can see it on his face as it twists, his cock twitching inside of you.

"Come for me baby." He grits his teeth, the muscles in his jaw tightening as his body goes rigid.

"Ah fuck." He brings you over the edge with the last of his powerful thrusts, your legs shaking around him, the feeling of satisfaction melting through your body simultaneously. A proud look on his face as you both come together and he falls limply onto your sweat laced body.

You stay like that for a while, both enjoying the moment, his cock still twitching inside of you. The heaviness of his body burying you into the mattress but you don't complain.

You don't want him to move, you want to memorise the feel of his heaviness and how his cock feels inside of you. How his rough face feels against your smooth skin, his hair tickling under your chin. You trace the muscles on his back, the defined shoulders and lean waist. Your hands gripping his tight, round ass and you close your eyes, remembering every dip and ripple, dreading the thought of being without him in your arms for at least another couple of weeks.

"I don't know how I'm going to watch you walk away tomorrow." He rolls on to his side, pulling you into him. "I think that's the hardest thing to deal with out of everything."

"I was just thinking the same thing." You looked up at him through your eyelashes, your fingers brushing against his tight pecs. "You know we've been doing this for nearly 6 years now and I don't think I've ever felt as close to you as I do now. It's going to be even harder for me to leave this time." 

"I don't even want to think about it but we only have hours left together, what's our plan?" 

"You mean when and how do we tell Liam?" You ask sitting cross legged in the bed, reality kicking back in. You have to go home to Liam and leave Chris all over again, back to the lies and sneaking about.

"That and when am I going to be able to see you again? I don't want to wait as long as last time, you know how crazy i start getting when I don't see you." 

"We've got your cousin's wedding next week. I'll see you there." You risk a glance at him, pain set on his face.

"You'll see me but you'll be arm in arm with Liam and I'll be alone again." 

"How about once the weddings over and done with, we can tell Liam about us?" You watch his face change, like a little boy.

"A week? I can do that, I think. But I'm not going to the wedding alone." 

"What do you mean? A date? With who?" Panic laced in your voice.

"I don't know but I'm sure I won't be short of options." 

"Are you fucking with me? Liam thinks you're dating a married woman, where you going to find one of those?" 

"I don't know but I'm not turning up to a family party on my own again, my aunties can be fucking brutal." 

"Well don't expect to playing all happy families and me being all nice." You sulk.

"Are you jealous?" 

"Yeah, duhh."

"Come here." He pulls you into arms wrapping his legs around yours. Comfortable silence drifting over you both as he strokes your hair and you fall asleep in his arms.

***********

You wake up in the morning smiling, then remembering what day it is and that you have to leave to go back to boring reality and your smile fades. Chris stirring beside you, his muscly arm resting over your stomach, locking you in place.

"Chris, wake up." You whisper in his ear, admiring his sleepy, perfect face. "It's 9.30 we've gotta check out at 10." He makes an unrecognisable sound of exasperation, his eyes opening, puffy with sleep or lack of in this case.

"Aww man, can't we just stay in bed a little longer, I don't wanna let you go." 

"You need to go check out first so we don't leave the hotel at the same time." 

"Fuck sake. Back to reality it is then." He says all hint of jokiness gone from his tone as he sits up and rubs his eyes. 

"I'm afraid so, I need to go grab my things. Text me when you've left please." 

"Wow! I feel used, do I not even get a kiss before you run out on me?" 

"I was just dealing with the business before I dealt with the pleasure, like I'd just leave without giving you a kiss." You threw yourself on him, wrapping your legs around him as he leant against the headboard. Taking his lips in yours, open mouthed kisses that left you both breathless.

*****

You packed up the couple of things you'd actually taken out of your pull along suitcase, you'd spent most of the weekend naked or slobbing about in Chris' t-shirts so all your clothes were still folded and packed.

You were anxious about going home to Liam and having to pretend again, having to try and not slip up about where you'd actually been. You literally had to go through possible conversations in your mind, conjuring up imagined answers to Liam's possible questions so you didn't get caught out. It was hard work.

Then you got the text from Chris telling you he was out of the hotel and on the road back home, followed by how much of a good weekend he'd had and how much he loves you.

You couldn't help having a spring to your step as you walked through the lobby, a weekend full of love making and reminiscing would have that effect on anyone.

After you'd checked out, the anxiety set in, like stepping out of this hotel would be like stepping in to an alternate universe. A universe that wasn't simple and easy like it had been this weekend but stepping through those revolving doors would mean that will all end. This safe feeling of being alone, away from prying eyes would end as soon as you stepped foot outside and it did, a ominous feeling sweeping over you, goosebumps covering your flesh. Maybe you conjured up the feeling in your own mind, manifesting it into existence but you couldn't shake it.

A feeling of being watched, was it your imagination or not? You didn't know, all you knew was how much you wanted to get out of public and back home. As you stood in front of the hotel, picking up your suitcase to carry it down the stairs, something caught your eye. A flash. And then another flash coming from your peripheral.

[allaboutthebooz]

Still Learning Pt. Three

Summary: After having everything stolen from her, the reader meets Bucky and they form a relationship, that works for the both of them. She needs money and he needs the company. There are rules that need to be followed. What will happen when the rules are broken?

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Warnings: Cursing, drinking

A/N: Sorry this has taken so long. Just when I find a groove, it gets knocked off course. But it's finally here and I hope you all enjoy.

After getting your drinks, Bucky decides to get a little invasive. “So, how come you are here by yourself?”

Y/N lets out a small laugh. “I’m not. My friends decided they would rather dance than sit with me while I wallow.” She juts a thumb behind her, point to the small dance floor. Bucky looks past her to see a few people dancing. Most were couples dancing a little too inappropriately, but there were two women dancing together, and he assumes they’re Y/N’s friends.

Turning his gaze back to his company, he gives her a quick look over. Her jean jacket covering her upper body, but he notices her dress. The soft silk material, covered in a combination of blue, red, and orange, clinging to what curves her can see. Her hair down, but half was pulled back into a braid of some sort.

He looks at her face. Not noticing the look behind her eyes, until now. He should have been able to tell that she wasn’t happy. He’d seen the same look on his face, often when he’d look in the mirror. The mask she wore, similar to his.

“Wallow?” He asks.

She nods. “Yeah, I haven’t had the best luck lately.”

“Want to tell me about it? Maybe talking to a stranger will help.”

She shakes her head and huffs. “I doubt it. I’m in deep shit and have no clue what will happen.”

“Maybe I can help?”

She looks at Bucky, silent. He can see her debating what to say.

You’re not sure how long you spent staring at the man next to you. The man who wanted to know what kind of trouble you were in, after only knowing his name for thirty minutes. Looking down at the glass in your hand, you bring it to your lips and take a long sip from it.

“Fuck it. Why not tell it to you. Not like you’ll be able to find me again.” Looking back at Bucky, you see his jaw clench just slightly.

“You never know.” Is all he says. His voice gruff.

You open your mouth to start your story, when you feel two bodies press close to you. Looking to your right, you see Lexie and Deanna standing there. Both focused on Bucky.

“You okay?” Dee asks, her mama bear side starting to show.

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

“You sure?” You feel Lexie grab a strand of your hair at its end. “Sorry we’ve been ignoring you.”

“No, it’s alright. I was actually thinking of heading home. I’m pretty tired.”

Both girls groan. “You’re supposed to be having fun.” Dee pushes.

You look over at Bucky, giving him a quick smile before turning back to your friends. “You know that’s impossible right now. I can’t focus on having fun when I’m about to lose my apartment. I’m gonna get home so I can get some sleep. I have to edit some photos and have them turned in tomorrow.”

Deanna opens her mouth to respond, but Lex puts a hand on her shoulder. “If that’s what you want to do, that’s fine. We know you have a lot going on right now. We just thought getting you out of the house would help.”

“And I appreciate it, but once everything if normal again, then I can start having fun.”

“Well, we can go. Let’s settle our tab.” Lexie says.

“No, you two stay. You’re actually enjoying yourselves. Don’t let me ruin your fun.”

“Are you sure?” Deanna asks. “We don’t mind.”

“Yeah, stay. I’ll get a cab.” You start to stand. Hugging the girls, they head back to the dance floor. You turn back to Bucky. “It was nice to meet you.”

You notice the panic slightly raise in his face. “Wait. I’ll go with you.”

You raise your eyebrows. “Back to my place? I don’t think that’s such a great idea.”

“No, not there. Why don’t we just walk around for a bit. Maybe see if there are any diners open or something.” He suggests.

You find yourself staring at him again. Your eyes rake over him. His dark hair, his blue eyes. His leather jacket and Henley shirt clinging to his chest. His thick thighs clad in dark blue jeans. Were you going to let this man keep you company? Were you going to open up to him? You probably won’t see him again after tonight and he seems like a nice guy. There was something familiar about him and you weren’t sure that you were ready to say goodbye.

“Okay. But just for a little while I really should get home and edit those photos.”

Bucky smiles wide and follows you out of the bar.

“I know a place that’s open all night. They have great food.” You suggest.

“Lead the way.”

You move down the sidewalk, Bucky beside you with his hands shoved in his jean pockets.

“So, you’re a photographer?” He asks.

“I am. Mostly fashion right now.”

“That’s cool. Anything I might have seen?”

You laugh. “Not unless you read Vogue.”

“No, I can’t say that I have. I really haven’t had time to do a ton of reading. My work keeps me busy.”

“Oh yeah? What do you do?” You ask, looking him over.

He stares at you like you should know who he is and what he does. “Uh I guess you could say that I work with the military.”

“Doing what?”

“Linguistics.”

You make an impressed face. “Sounds interesting.

It’s Bucky’s turn to laugh. “Yeah, I guess it can be.”

You both walk in silence for a while. You can feel Bucky’s urge to finish your conversation that was interrupted.

“You’re still wondering why I wasn’t wanting to stay and have fun, aren’t you? I can feel your curiosity growing.” You smirk at him.

He gives you a shy smile. “Yeah, I am. We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. I don’t want you to think I’m overstepping.”

You look up at the night sky. The stars barely visible beyond the city lights. Sighing you say, “A month ago, my ex-boyfriend stole every single penny I had to my name. He destroyed my credit. He opened a couple of credit cards in my name and a loan from a bank in my name and never paid them. He disappeared and I haven’t heard from him. The cops haven’t bothered to find him. So I have no money, except what little cash I managed to withdraw before it all happened.”

Bucky stops walking, making you stop too. “Are you shitting me?”

You laugh. “I wish I was.”

“Son of a bitch.” He says, before continuing his stride.”

“Yeah.” You both walk a bit further before you stop in front of a wall full of windows. “This is it.”

He opens the door, allowing you to step inside first as he follows.

After settling into a booth by the windows, you both spend the rest of the night talking. He asked a few more questions and you explained to him that you were pretty much out of a job and would soon lose your home if you didn’t make enough money to pay your rent.

Eventually, you convinced him to move onto a different subject. Before you knew it, the sun was starting to peak from behind the other buildings. When a ray of light blinds you, you squint and look out the window.

“Oh shit. We literally talked all night.”

“I guess we did. I’m sorry. I know you needed to get home.” Bucky apologizes.

“You know what? I’m not even upset. This was way more fun than sitting at my desk in an empty apartment that won’t be mine for long.”

You start to gather your things as Bucky lays a few bills on the table. You both step outside, pulling jackets on. You look at Bucky and wonder what to do next.

“Well, I guess this is goodbye.” You say.

“It doesn’t have to be. I’d like to see you again.”

You bite your bottom lip. “I don’t know. I’d like to see you again, but my life is such a mess right now.”

“It doesn’t have to be. I’d like to help you.”

“How can you do that? You got a ton of money laying around or something?”

“Or something. Why don’t we do this again tonight? I can explain everything then.”

“I don’t know, Bucky.”

“How about this? I’m going to come back here to have more of those delicious pancakes. You can join me and let me help you. I’ll let you decide. I’ll be here at 7. If you show, we’ll talk. If you don’t, I’ll leave you alone.”

He gently leans in and kisses your cheek.

“I hope I see you later.” He hails a cab and opens the door for you, closing it once you’re settled in the backseat and walking the opposite way down the sidewalk.

‘What the hell was that?’ You think.

The taxi dropped you off in front of your building. You hand the driver some cash, telling him to keep the change. The whole drive home, you kept thinking about what he meant by wanting to help you. Did he have a job for you? Did he want you to take some headshots for him? You didn’t know much about him, except that he worked with the military, and he didn’t seem like he was the model or actor type, so headshots were out of the question.

You walked up the stairs to your apartment still pondering why Bucky wanted to help you and how he planned to do it. You get to your floor and move down the hallway, your apartment at the very end with your door facing towards you. You’re almost in front of it when you notice an envelope taped to your door. You peel it off, curious, and stick your key in the door to unlock it.

Stepping through the entrance, you lay your purse on the counter in the kitchen, peel your jean jacket off, and then your shoes. Once you’re somewhat settled, you peel open the letter and pull the piece of paper out of its snug exterior.

‘Y/N,

I hoped you would be home when I came by. I didn't want to do this how it's been done, but I don't have a choice.

I know how tough things have been for you the last month and I've done everything to try and help. You've been a perfect resident. Always paid your rent on time. You've always been nice to everyone here. However, unless you pay your rent by the end of the week, I'm afraid that you will be forced to move out.

I've tried talking to Tom to get him to understand your situation and though he is sympathetic, he can't pay the mortgage for the building without your portion of the rent.

I'm sorry there's nothing more that I can do for you.

I would hate to see you go, but I do not have a choice.

Let me know as soon as you can, if you are able to pay your rent and we can work something out.

Again, I'm sorry.

David’

Sign you crumble the paper into a ball and let it drop onto the counter.

‘Perfect.’ You think. After having a great night, you should have known the bliss wouldn't last for long.

You wanted to cry, but suddenly felt too exhausted. You decide to get a few hours of sleep, before trying to work or do anything else.

Peeling your silky dress from your body as you move towards your bed, you unhook your bra, tossing it aside, and finally collapse onto your mattress. You barely pull the covers over your mostly naked torso before you fall asleep. Dreaming of the blue-eyed man you had just spend your evening with.

TAGS:

Still Learning- @chipilerendi @vicmc624

Marvel- @shreddedparchment

Forevers- @jamielea81 @dnnwnchstr22 @also-fangirlinsweden

*If you would like to added to the tag list, please send me an ask. I am able to keep up with them better that way!

[mimisempai]

Wait for me on the other side 8/8

Summary:

The long awaited end! Will they finally overcome all the obstacles?

Here we go! Enjoy the journey!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/32948254/chapters/82452802

Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5 - Chapter 6 - Chapter 7 - Chapter 8 (End)

The months and seasons have passed for Mobius and Loki.

Mobius moved out of the house on the cliff and into an apartment above the store. After Ravonna's death, Casey saw no reason to stay in TK and joined Mobius at Miss Minutes.

With his client base expanding, Mobius needed someone to help him and thought of Casey, who had been more than enthusiastic at the idea.

They had formed a curious friendship with Sylvie and life was flowing smoothly.

Casey could see that at times Mobius' eyes seemed lost. His face wore a melancholic expression. But Mobius said nothing, smiled and Casey pretended he hadn't seen anything.

On New Year's Eve 2022, Mobius, Casey and Sylvie were celebrating together and as the fireworks started, Mobius couldn't help but think of other fireworks with nostalgia and wondered what Loki was doing, where and with whom.

January 2021 - Miss Minutes

It was already late and Mobius was hunched over his drawing table, looking focused as Casey poked his head through the door.

"Mobius, I'm going in. I've got it all locked up, you'll just have to close the main door and the blind."

Mobius focused, simply replied, "Hm..."

Casey, seeing that he hadn't been listening, approached and looked over Mobius' shoulder at what he was working on.

"A new project?"

Mobius looked up, a little embarrassed, "Oh. No. It's just... a personal thing."

Casey shifted to get a better look at Mobius' work.

Mobius tried to hide it.

"Mobius, let me see."

"No, it's nothing."

"Come on."

Mobius gave in and Casey's eyes widened at the drawing.

It was the house on the cliff but re-imagined. There was a terrace that ran along the back, and stairs that went down to the water - the stairs that Mobius had described to Loki. There were trees planted along the way, and lights shining in the trees. The house was just as extraordinary as before, but much less austere, much warmer, almost romantic.

Casey said softly, "I like it."

Mobius asked casually, "Do you like it?"

Casey nodded enthusiastically, "Before, it looked like a place you would go to be alone. In this one, I can imagine taking someone there."

Mobius nodded. Casey looked at him with his piercing eyes, and asked softly, "Who is he?"

Mobius answered without hesitation, "Loki. His name was Loki."

"When you lived there?"

Mobius nodded and Casey continued, "I knew it, that there was something or rather someone. What happened?"

Mobius replied simply, "I lost him."

"How?"

Mobius replied with a hesitant voice, "It's hard to explain. It's mostly... it was... bad timing."

"You miss him?"

Mobius couldn't deny it and Casey insisted, "Make him come back."

Mobius ran a hand over his face, "It's too late. Or too soon..."

"What?"

Mobius shook his head, "Nothing. I don't even know where he is. And even if I did, I couldn't walk up to him and say, ``Hey, I'm here, let's pick up where we left off."

Casey defiantly asked him, "What would you have to lose?"

Mobius didn't answer.

**********

Loki was still living in the same place and the tree had continued to grow in front of the building.

He spent a lot of time with Thor, who had apparently decided to take him under his wing.

He was alone, but he had a friend, friends even, that he could count on, and if sometimes one or the other tried to encourage him to date someone, they never insisted.

He devoted his life to his classes, the students liked him a lot, and Kamala who kept coming to see him after class had brought other members of the gang with her, and the discussions around Norse mythology had turned into a reading club.

Early February 2023 - Loki's apartment

Loki had decided to clean up, because in two years, he was starting to pile up things, and it was time to sort out.

He was organizing his clothes when he came across the outfit he had never put back on since the missed date. His throat tightened as he was about to put it in the pile of clothes to be thrown away, but he couldn't bring himself to do it and put it in the back of the closet.

Later, as he was vacuuming, he noticed a creaky floorboard. He bent down to examine it and found that it could be lifted quite easily.

Loki pulled the floorboard and to his surprise, there was an empty space underneath. He bent further to examine it. He saw that there was something there, put his hand to grab it and pulled out a package wrapped in dusty plastic. He opened it. His heart leapt out of his chest, it was his copy of PERSUASION.

One page was marked with a rose, now dried and withered by time. He opened it to the marked page and saw that a sentence had been underlined.

There could have been no two hearts so open,

no tastes so similar, no feelings so in unison.

He stared at the words, breathless.

February 14, 2023 - September Academy

Thor and Loki, along with the other teachers, were sitting in the school's conference room waiting for the presentation to begin.

Thor leaned over to Loki, "Hey, since Jane won't be able to spend this Valentine's Day with me, how about a hallmark movie night with some popcorn and good beer?"

Loki smiled softly, "Sounds good to me, but in the meantime we've gotta get through this presentation."

Just after his words, a short dark-haired man entered the room and took his place on the stage, greeted by Natasha who spoke up, "Hello everyone, thank you for coming. We are pleased to welcome Casey Fish, from Miss Minutes."

Loki startled slightly, the name ringing a bell.

"Casey is here today to introduce us to a new line of electronic organizers for students and teachers, allowing for better communication between the various parties. Thank you for giving him your attention."

Casey cleared his throat and began to speak, "Hello everyone! Thank you for your welcome Ms. Romanov, Miss Minutes is basically a small watch store, but over the years we wanted to expand its business to include time management in all its forms, and its founder had the idea a little over two years ago to create this."

He pointed to the screen that just displayed a small rectangular device, much like a flip phone.

"Let me introduce you to The Tempad. The Tempad, thanks to its small holographic avatar, allows you to be connected at any time with your colleagues, with your students."

He clicked on the remote control to bring up the next image.

"This is Miss Minutes for you."

Loki gasped, of course he knew Miss Minutes, it was exactly like the little picture Mobius had drawn when he had written to him about his store.

Thor, sensing his friend's confusion, leaned toward him and whispered, "Loki? Are you okay?"

Loki nodded.

He listened to the rest of the presentation in a daze, and as Casey was packing up his things on the stage, Loki rushed in without further ado, almost shoving some of his colleagues in his way.

February 14, 2021 - In front of Miss Minutes

Casey and Mobius came out in their winter coats, but they realized it was surprisingly warm.

Mobius growled, "Honestly, what the hell?"

Casey shrugged as he replied, "Global warming."

Mobius asked Casey, "Do you want to come to my house for dinner tonight?"

Casey replied with a small air of pride, "I can't. I have a date tonight, it's Valentine's Day."

Mobius continued forward for a few steps, then stopped.

"What?"

"What, is it so weird that I have a date on Valentine's Day night?"

Mobius looked around. The day was really hot. People everywhere were enjoying the sun. He turned to Casey, a strange look on his face.

"What's the date?"

"Valentine's Day I told you, so it's February 14."

Mobius repeated, "February 14, 2021."

Casey looked at him, curious, "Yeah. What's up with you?"

Mobius with pensive eyes replied, "He told me about today."

"Who? You mean the guy?"

"Yes!" replied Mobius excitedly, "There's a letter that says where he's going to be!"

Casey understood less and less, "He wrote you?"

Mobius nodded quickly, "Yes. I could see him today. You said it the other day...what have I got to lose?"

Casey replied matter-of-factly, "What are you waiting for?"

"I just need to find the letter!"

Mobius ran to his apartment above the store, rummaged through his old boxes, until he remembered that Loki's letters were still in the house on the cliff, in the attic. He looked for the spare keys to the housel, ran to his old pickup and drove off at full speed.

February 14, 2023 - September High-school

" Mister, uh... Casey, can I ask you something. Miss Minutes' founder, who is it?"

Casey, with a surprised look, answered him, clearing his throat, "He's a friend, Mo... Mobius M. Mobius."

Loki repeated, his heart pounding, "Mobius..."

Casey replied, "Yes. Do you... do you know him?"

Loki nodded, "Yes. He... where is he? Could you tell me how I could contact him?"

Casey suddenly looked very sad, "I'm sorry. You don't know?"

"What?"

Casey replied with a tight throat, "He died. Two years ago." He swallowed before resuming, "Two years ago today, in fact, there was an accident..."

Loki, shocked, gasped, then whispered, "Where?"

A few seconds later, Loki ran out of the school and headed for his car under the rain that had started to fall. Thor was behind him, bewildered, and called him, "Loki! Wait! What's going on?"

As he continued to run, Loki told him, 'It's an emergency! I don't have time!"

Thor asked, "Is that him?"

Loki, while running, replied, "Yes!" and heard Thor shout back at him as he climbed into his car, "Go Loki! Get him!"

Loki drove out of the city toward the house, rain pouring down on his windshield. He weaved between lanes, passing cars, driving recklessly, as fast as he could.

House on the cliff - February 14, 2021

Mobius stopped in front of the lake house. It was closed, empty. He ran across the path and unlocked the front door.

House on the cliff - February 14, 2023

Loki arrived at the house and stopped skidding in the rain in front of the mailbox. He pulled out a notepad and began to write, desperately.

House on the cliff - February 14, 2021

Mobius ran to the attic. Inside was the only box he had stored there when he moved out. He opened the box and searched frantically. He found the bundle of letters from Loki. After a few moments, he found the one he was looking for and read it.

Last February, I remember it was Valentine's Day, but it was really hot for a day in February.

I was at the fountain in Valhalheim Square.

He said aloud, "The Valhalheim Square Fountain."

House on the cliff - February 14, 2023

Loki finished writing the note and jumped out of the car. He put it in the mailbox and raised the flag.

He stayed there, and fell to his knees in front of the box, soaked by the rain.

House on the cliff - February 14, 2021

Mobius jumped into his pick-up , and quickly drove away from the house. He passed the mailbox.

Valhalheim Square - February 14, 2021

Loki closed his eyes for a moment, letting the sunlight warm him. Just aware of the surrounding sounds, the water in the fountain, the splashing and laughter of children playing in it, an old man grumbling about global warming, pigeons landing nearby.

Mobius could see the fountain from inside his pickup. He looked for a parking spot, finally found one and jumped out. He started running towards the square.

In his hand he clutched a piece of paper, the words of which echoed in his head.

Dear Mobius.

I know it now... it was you at the fountain that day.

It was you on the square. Please, don't go there.

Something terrible will happen if you go there.

Mobius continued to run toward the fountain.

He stopped at the curb, separated from the fountain by a dense road full of traffic. He looked away, searching for Loki beyond the noisy traffic, among the crowd in the park.

Please don't look for me.

He finally saw him, a distant figure, eyes closed, enjoying the warmth of the sun. He smiled.

Don't try to find me.

They are now only separated by distance.

Don't run to me.

The traffic became less dense and Mobius had a clear view of Loki, straight ahead.

Do you understand? Please. You must wait.

Mobius stepped off the curb, wanting to get closer to Loki.

Forget everything I said before.

We both have to wait.

If you love me and if I love you.

I love you, it's taken me this long to say it but I really love you, so wait for me.

Mobius saw Loki open his eyes, as if drawn in his direction. He looks alarmed.

Wait with me. Wait until time catches up with both of us and we can be together. Please. Just... wait.

House on the cliff - February 14, 2023

Loki soaked, was in tears at the foot of the mailbox and only whispered, "Wait, wait..." and continued to cry.

The rain continues to fall.

Loki, finally, having lost all hope, tried to pull himself together and began, very slowly, to get to his feet.

He looked at the box and gasped, the flag was down.

With trembling hands, he did not dare to open the door and when he did, he saw that his letter was gone.

Valhalheim Square - February 14, 2021

Mobius was standing on the road, straining to see Loki and at the last second, he backed up to the sidewalk, safe. He continued to watch Loki, he desperately wanted to run to him, but he didn't, he folded the letter, put it in his pocket and reluctantly turned and walked away.

House on the cliff - February 14, 2023

Loki looked at the empty mailbox, his face soaked with tears and rain.

A hand came up from behind him and gently closed the box. He slowly turned around.

Mobius stood silently and looked at him, holding the worn letter Loki had just posted. Loki stared at him for a moment, trying to convince himself that this was real.Then Mobius took a step toward Loki and smiled, shyly.

"Have we waited long enough?"

Loki, still shocked, his eyes filled with tears, whispered, "Yes."

Mobius approached again, and smiling more openly this time, brought his hand to Loki's face and wiped a tear with his thumb.Loki rested his head in his palm and then finally they fell into each other's arms, squeezing each other, inhaling each other's scent, prolonging the embrace again and again, making sure it was real. Making sure that each of them was real.

Then Mobius finally pulled back and captured Loki's lips in an endless kiss. For long minutes they separated only to catch their breath before kissing again, over and over again, indifferent to the rain that fell around them.

Much later, they separated to catch their breath and Mobius took Loki's hand to lead him home.

Loki gasped. The house on the cliff had changed.

In the two years of Mobius' life, the life Loki had saved, Mobius had transformed it.

He had brought to life the design he had shown Casey two years ago, with the deck, and the stairway to the water they had talked about, and the trees planted along the path, lit and glowing in the rain.

Loki laughed, astonished, and turning to Mobius he took his face in his hands and kissed him again.

Then they walked together along the path, stopping often to touch and kiss.

As they passed the door, Loki held Mobius by the sleeve, "Wait."

Mobius turned around and couldn't help but touch Loki's face with his fingertips once more.

Loki grabbed his hand and interlaced his fingers with Mobius' as he said softly, "I don't want to wait to tell you for real this time." He paused and with a trembling smile and bright eyes, he told him, "I love you."

Mobius didn't want to wait to tell him in turn either, "I love you."

They hugged each other tightly again, tasting the happiness of hearing those words spoken by the beloved voice.

Then much later, they entered their home, ready to start a new life where everything was still to be discovered. Together.

**********

The house on the cliff - Summer 2024

"Cwoki! Cwoki!"

"Lila! Go slowly honey and wait for your little brother!"

"Wait my love, I'll help you." Clint came to support Laura who was struggling up on the small path leading to the house on the hill. She huffed a little, laying her hand on her belly rounded by her 6 months of pregnancy.

They watched, fondly, as their two children gave gentle pats to a Croki who seemed to enjoy it.

"Lila, Cooper, stop spoiling Croki, he'll keep coming to us for petting afterwards."

Both children stood up and grabbed onto the legs of the man who had just spoken.

"Uncle Mobius!"

He picked them both up, carrying them each in one arm.

"What about me, don't I get a hello kiss?"

Each of the two children placed a sounding kiss on Mobius' cheeks at the same time.

"Should I be jealous?" a voice behind Mobius spoke up.

"Uncle Loki!"

Cooper was already reaching out to Loki, who didn't hesitate. The little boy gave him a big kiss on the cheek and wiggled to be put back on the ground.

Loki and Mobius, side by side, welcomed Laura and Clint.

"Clint, Laura, Welcome!"

They all embraced and then headed to the terrace.

Loki guided Laura to a comfortable chair, stuffed with cushions for her. She sat down with a sigh, "Thank you." then looking around, she continued, "I may have been here many times before, but I'll never tire of this view."

Mobius motioned for Clint to sit next to Laura, before taking a seat as well.

Loki was about to sit down when he heard the unmistakable sound of a car pulling up in front of the house, Mobius started to get up, but Loki motioned for him to stay seated. "Stay seated, love, I'll welcome them."

He walked down the path toward the cars that had just arrived.

Thor was the first to walk over to him, "Loki! My friend!" before hugging him. Loki was now used to Thor's overflowing affection and allowed himself to be patted on the back.

Soon Heimdall, Bruce, Carol and Natasha joined them and followed his lead into the house. When they arrived on the terrace, everyone greeted each other, and sat around the table chatting happily. Lila was in awe of Natasha's red curls, and Cooper laughed out loud as Thor spun him around at arm's length.

"Is this the direction for the little party?"

Heads turned to the source of the voice as Mobius exclaimed, "Casey, we weren't expecting you anymore!"

Casey laughed lightly and added, "Where do I put this?" he pointed to the cake in his hands.

"I'll take it." replied Loki. He took the cake into the kitchen and there he felt suddenly overwhelmed by emotion. He waited for a while before returning to the terrace.

"Hey handsome, what are you doing here alone?"

Loki looked up and smiled, "Mobius."

Mobius, who after more than a year had learned to decipher Loki's expressions, noticed that something was wrong.

"Loki, sweetheart, what's going on with you."

Loki wanted to start talking, but the emotion was too strong,

"Hey, come here." Mobius took him in his arms and gently stroked his back, waiting for the worst of the crisis to pass.

After a few moments, Loki straightened up, a trembling smile beneath the tears, "I'm sorry, I don't know, I'm not sad, not at all, on the contrary, but I suddenly had this irrepressible urge to cry."

Mobius nodded, pushed a strand of Loki's hair back behind his ear.

"Just too much emotion maybe? What were you thinking?"

"I... I was putting the cake on the table and I thought, if you hadn't read my letter, none of this would be real. I wouldn't be here. There wouldn't be all these people on our deck. And it freaked me out for just a short moment, to realize that I almost lost everything."

Mobius, also visibly moved, pressed a tender kiss on Loki's mouth and said softly, "But on the contrary, you have, we have gained everything. You saved me, gave me a new life, and in doing so you gave us all a different and more beautiful life."

Loki nodded his head, then shook it as if to collect himself.

He kissed Mobius tenderly in turn, then stepped aside and grabbed Mobius' hand and pulled him toward the terrace, a confident smile on his lips.

"Come on, let's go celebrate!"

As Mobius let himself be pulled along and they walked through the living room, his gaze fell on Ravonna's book. His first family. His sister. Then his gaze slid to Loki in front of him and by extension everyone else on the terrace. Their new family. Not by blood, but by heart. All because one day, Loki had posted a little letter.

Dear new tenant.

Hello and welcome to your new home and congratulations, blah blah blah. You have made an excellent choice, New Asgard is a wonderful place and this house is a gem, as you may have already noticed.

I'm sure you'll love living here as much as I do.

Loki had not known that these words would be so prescient, even though they came from the future and were addressed to someone from the past.

Oh yes, Mobius loved living here, but not because of the house, because of the love that filled it. Because of Loki.

Together. For All time. Always.

_________

That's it, everyone is happy, including me. I hope you enjoyed it to the end. 1000 thanks to all the comments left, it's the fuel for each chapter. I love you all!

[boop-le-snoot]

PARTY FAVOURS I CHAPTER 12

Click here if you are a first time reader.

Summary / TWs: Steve Rogers does not pass the vibe check yet again, le sad face. Loki is a good bro. Bruce fluff but what else is new? Literally everyone is a good bro, yo. Reader has best people. Tony's in there, kind of. Parents still suck.

For taglist: please send an ask if you changed your @! I noticed several people are unavailable :(

As always, my baby gay @miscmarvelwritings is the bestest beta!

"I think I am going to murder your father." Bucky's angry statement didn't surprise me. Neither did Steve's initial reaction, or anybody else's mostly pitying looks.

Bruce, my Bwucie, was calm and dejected. That worried me. I expected him to be at least a little bit green around the edges when Steve forcefully sat me down and made me explain the drunken, drugged stunt I'd done the night before, but alas, it seemed like Jolly Green was just sad. Or disappointed. And I didn't know which was worse.

The more I thought about it, the more defensive and abrasive I became. "And you'll kill yourself trying, he'll drive you fucking nuts" I responded to Barnes. "Honestly, I don't fucking see the problem here. My dad shows up five times a year at best. It's been like that forever. And it's not like I'm some kind of junkie," I defended myself, and my dad, because I really didn't see the huge deal about it. Relaxing once in a while doesn’t hurt anyone.

"It's not right!" Steve exclaimed, loosely banging a fist on the table. The self-righteous prick, seemed like he wanted to pick a fight just for the sake of it.

"And who are you, exactly, to say that? The moral police?" I blew up, standing and turning to the blonde man, hands on my hips. "Or you've decided to be my parent without asking me first? Keep your hopes up and maybe a fuck will magically appear, so I could give it to you."

He stood up in turn, getting uncomfortably close to my face. I was suddenly reminded of the fact that he was a very large, very strong man. "We want what's best for you! Can't you see it?" Rogers was getting red in the face, crossed arms, staring at me down like I was dirt under his shoes.

"How about..." I seethed, having to stop mid-sentence to swallow the scream that wanted to erupt. "How about... You FUCKING ask me what I want?"

"I suggest the Captain leave to go calm down," Loki suddenly piped up. He stayed silent throughout the whole conversation, picking at his food instead. Only after his sharply uttered words I noticed he had stood up. His hand hovered over my shoulder, body discreetly wedging between me and the Captain.

I heard Steve growl before he stormed off, throwing an annoyed look at Loki. A pregnant silence hung in the room. The longer it lasted, the more I wanted to crawl out of my skin, suddenly hyper aware of all these people - strangers, save a few - debating on what to do with me. Like I wasn't a person. Like...

"Ugh, fucking hell," I growled, beelining for my bag. I had definitely overstayed my welcome.

"Where are you going?" Bruce asked, standing up to follow.

"Home," I replied curtly, nodding my thanks to Loki for the intervention. He nodded back, walking off. I would have probably started swinging at the Icicle Dick if not for the raven haired Asgardian's timely interruption.

"I'll drive you," Banner trotted after me like a dejected puppy. I didn't have the mental capacity to deal with this, at all.

"I need to see Tony first. Meet you downstairs?"

Bruce nodded, looking even more confused.

Tony kissed me hungrily, in between promises to kill Steve and cancel my dad and get me my own apartment in the tower. Believing in fairy tales wasn't something I was ever prone to; I smiled, nodded along and did my best to shut him up with my own mouth on his. I left with the promise to text him as soon as I got home.

"How are you?" Bruce asked me as we once again drove through the busy city. This was becoming a nice habit but we really had to meet up when I wasn't going through another one of my turmoils.

"All things considered, I am great. Better than I've been in a while." I answered honestly, meaning it. However brief Tony's attention would be, it still satisfied me. Then and there I decided to always, always cherish what happened during my brief stint in his arms.

"Really?" Banner's warm smile was an unexpected but pleasant surprise. "Care to share?"

It threw me for a loop. I didn't know how much Tony wanted to disclose regarding what happened between us. I didn't know the extent of his friendship with Bruce. I didn't know...

"Tony," I choose the usual option. Admit what you can't deny, deny what you can't admit.

"I know the feeling," The good doctor chuckled, companionable-like and meaningful. "He tends to go all the way for the people he cares about. Too much, if you ask me."

"What do you mean?" I was confused. Sure, me and Tony were friends. But not, like, super close or anything. We'd fucked, or more like messed around, so I expected our friendship to grow colder. That's what happened when friends decided to bump uglies.

"I mean... He'll move mountains and challenge the government and bully them into dropping charges against you," There was a hint of sadness in Brucie's voice. I vaguely recalled seeing something on the news, something about the Hulk and a massive destruction spree. It didn't take long to put two and two together.

I reached out, putting a hand on his knee. He covered my palm with his own, giving it a brief, warm squeeze.

"It must be great having a friend like that. You're both wonderful and brilliant. You deserve no less," The smile threatened to split my face in two.

Bruce returned the smile but the sadness didn't go away. "You realize that extends to you, right?"

"Me? I'm just me, Bruce." I wasn't sure where this was going. "I'm Peter's classmate and the resident hot mess express."

Bruce frowned, deep and long, up until he parked. Life seemed to be taking back all the happiness it gave me previously-in fucking buckets. The strap of my bag was going to get its threads pulled out with the way I was fiddling with it.

"Baby… Princess?" The scientist turned to me, tone torn somewhere between stern and pleading. "Listen to me. You are brilliant. Incredibly smart, talented and beautiful. Don't ever, ever think of yourself as less than any of us." I gaped at him.

Did he mean us as the Avengers? Us as Tony and Bruce? Meanwhile he continued, "In fact, I think you are the one who deserves so much better. I don't know what Tony found in me… Or what you found in me."

Was the man an idiot or yes? That was the question of the day. Cursing Tony's affinity for small cars (bless me and my own SUV), I only hesitated a moment before grabbing the dumb Banner by his face and startling him into looking straight in my eye. "If you don't quit talking all that fake-ass bullshit, I will kiss you. On the mouth. With tongue."

"Uh," Was his articulate response. I watched him squirm, blush and lose the heat to his argument.

"Exactly. I've had it all with you idiots today. Next time someone says some stupid ass fucking thing, I will kiss them. On the mouth, with tongue. Pass it on," I exhaled, releasing his face and dropping my head onto his shoulder.

"Some way of solving conflict you have," Banner chuckled weakly, throwing an arm around my shoulders. "I'd like to see Steve's reaction."

"A boner, probably, because he needs to get laid before he spontaneously combusts," I grumbled venomously, still bitter about his reaction. The Capsicle needed to chill. Hehe.

"I'll pass it on too," Bruce remarked wryly. "See you next week?"

"Yeah. Thanks, Bwucie, you're the fucking best," I kissed the scientist on the cheek, giving him a tighter than usual parting hug and walking up the pathway. Home.

Mother was nowhere to be seen - and the obvious reason for that laid on the kitchen floor. Couple of smashed dishes, a bottle of whiskey laying half-empty in a puddle on the grey tiles. The living room rug bore more stains and the smell of alcohol, bitter and acrid (like my soul, hardy har), hung heavily throughout the whole house.

At least I wasn't the only one who fought for myself that day. Mother probably had landed a good one on dad, too, by God the woman could be ruthless with her icy words. Dad never stood a chance. I've felt begrudgingly respectful of the way mother put people in their place with her words ever since I understood sarcasm.

First things first, I cleaned up the mess and opened the windows a smidge, cranking the air recuperation system to the max. Hanging around a place that smelled like a bum on a good Friday night was a horrible way to spend free time. Having successfully cut myself and bandaged the cuts up, I retreated to my room, not wanting to spend more time than necessary in the quiet, stinky, creepy house that my home had become.

My phone was long dead so I plugged it in, waiting for the 2% to appear, turning it on. A few messages from Peter, first cheerful, then worried and then relieved. Tony must've placated the spider child and told him I was staying at the tower. Good call, Tones, or else poor Peter would've worked himself into an anxiety attack and crashed in a dumpster while patrolling. Or something. I still didn't quite get his spider-hero side-gig.

A text from Bruce - rather, a photo, of a disgruntled Steve with his eyebrows raised, titled "I told him the next time he freaks out, you will kiss him. With tongue. Barnes cackled for about ten minutes until he ran out of air."

And a text from Tony. My chest tightened when I opened it. "Good tactics. Sneaky, clever, I'd give it a B+."

I snorted. Then the phone beeped again and I froze. A text ordering me to be ready tomorrow, for a date night? Unreal. I was torn. A part of me was elated, thinking Tony wanted to keep me around like that. The other, more sensible part, was firmly telling me to chill TF down. He'll most likely kindly reject any further intimate interactions, maybe have me sign a few NDAs.

I still answered positive, mushy and cute and all. Feelings aside, I wasn't about to change my texting style for any man. My God, I was turning into a monster. A horribly cheesy, pink, soft, fluffy monster.

The next day, school was nearly unbearable. People talked. Not to my face, of course, since the rumours of me putting away Flash Thompson were still fresh enough for everyone to be cautious around me, but the whispers followed me throughout hallways, tongue in cheek remarks thrown at me from the bathroom stalls, behind the teacher's desks. Did I care? Nope.

Okay, I did, but not in the way one would think. The little spring in my step, a slight smirk. My thoughts were occupied with my upcoming dinner with Tony.

Peter and his pet nerds stood at my side, the ever watchful guards. I had no idea why they decided I needed reassurance or their comfort (I did not), but I had to admit it was cute. MJ, in particular, glared her Death Ray Stare at any male-identifying student that dared to as much as look wrongly in my direction. I mostly ignored the trio. Pete himself did a great job with entertaining his friends, he babbled on as usual, about everything and nothing in particular. Mouth ulcers. He was going to get them one day.

Dad called me during third period, saying he was flying off to California. I would have been lying if I said I didn't know why he scheduled the sudden trip; mother's total radio silence and the absence of her laptop in her own office spoke volumes about the state of my family's affairs. They had a fight and ran off to the opposite ends of the continent. I didn't understand why mother was upset with me, though. I saved her face during dinner at Tony's, so why is she mad about me going to a party with dad? Baffling woman.

Admitting the house felt like home when either of them were absent was hard. Or, perhaps, I felt nothing at all. Spending so much time around the Brady Bunch- the Avengers made me too soft for my own liking. It wasn't just Tony that lived in mind rent-free all the time now; there was Bruce, with his kindness, Bucky with his overgrown teenager attitude, Wanda with her wit and hair that smelled like cheap shampoo - seriously, I absolutely had to show her the benefits of decent hair products. That was just to list the few little quirks. There were so many people, all of them different and wonderful in their own way.

To summarize it, I was both happy for them and bitter for not having any of that to myself. Although it made me kind of glad I didn't have a sibling - looking after someone in the mess that mother and dad created would've been a nightmare. They say it's always a better place where we are not.

I went through a whole pack of cigarettes in a span of a couple of hours. Plagued by strangely melancholic thoughts, trying to push down the anxiety over my upcoming date, my choice of outfit proved to be a cumbersome task while in process.

Expensive but simple dress with spaghetti straps, in my favourite colour. That was the easiest part. A good base for any accessories. Would Tony like it? Would the press make outrageous comments?

Either way, it would. Dad's comments cut deeper than I probably realized it until now; in a sudden bout of self-awareness and a couple of mouse clicks later... Tony wouldn't care. Tony wears suits with sneakers. The Manolos flew back, towards my shoe closet, and a pair of Chanel trainers made their debut. A Hermes 2002 barely weighed down by my wallet, keys and phone. A nice coat, too, appropriately light and so very conceptual and fashionable.

I spent way too much time deciding on what to wear. A stern talking to, however, didn't help me, and I had to redo my make-up - the "nude", "all natural" look was one of the hardest to nail. Or so Marie Claire said. Whatever, my highlighter game was, as usual, on point.

THE TAG LIST IS NOW OPEN! @another-stark-sub ​ @mostly-marvel-musings  @vozit ​ @littlegasps ​ @pilloclock ​ @shereadsinquiet @downeyreads ​ @hermione-grangers-wife ​ @individualistfem ​ @sleep-i-ness @gigglyfox01 @capbrie @lillsxd @agustdowney @dee-vn @justanotherblonde23 @fanngirl19 @persephonehemingway (it finally let me tag you)!

[plasticnightmaredoll]

(art commission by the lovely and talented @curious-menace)

It is a time where I would like to see what my followers think about various concepts I have in mind pertaining to alternate versions of one my fics. It may take some time to write out any alternate versions since I've been busy and stressed out so much lately, but I am very curious as to what others would find intriguing to read.

But first, some backstory so be patient. We'll get to the voting at the end of this post.

I've been having a lot of bad days lately, and my mood has plummeted to a major low. This includes my self-esteem, which has always been in the dumps but is now basically a dumpster fire.

However, I don't want to be entirely cruel to myself. I deserve some sort of happiness, some sort of reprieve, and writing can be a good coping mechanism. I put a lot of my own thoughts, emotions, struggles, opinions, etc. into my works, as they serve as a way for me to get things off my chest. Sometimes, it's just cute and funny stuff, other times angsty but eventually fluffy stuff, and other times it's quite depressing and dark.

One fic, in particular, stands out, and that is the Mortal Kombat/Batman Arkhamverse crossover, "Volunteer," (trigger warnings: mentions psychological torture and suicide...more about this fic in a bit for those who would rather not read it because of those triggers) which features Arkham Knight Edward Nigma and Jonathan Crane, as well as a lady friend for Edward named Sara. It also features Erron Black and Cassie Cage from Mortal Kombat (Cassie is only mentioned in the story a few times).

If you read the blog intro/self-introduction post pinned at the top of my Tumblr, you know very well how I feel about Cassie Cage (particularly in MK11) and the Erron Black x Cassie Cage (BlackCage) pairing. Those negative feelings are mostly due to a very bad experience with a pushy BlackCage fan who just wouldn't relent one bit on their stance and it was emotionally and mentally draining to try and talk to them, including providing counter-arguments.

I've come up with alternate versions for "Volunteer" recently due to the spike in stress, depression, anxiety, and insecurities I've been dealing with as of late. This is where my followers come in!

I would like people to vote on which alternate take on "Volunteer" they would be interested in reading. Now, I can't guarantee when I'd get to it because, as I mentioned already, I've got a lot going on. However, I really want to try and write at least one alternate version of that fic, just to get some insecurities and negative thoughts off my chest.

Now, for those who are wary of reading "Volunteer" because of the trigger warnings, here's my advice: Just read the first chapter, if you want to. Chapter 2 deals directly with the sensitive subject matter, although, you can probably guess what happens anyway just by reading Chapter 1 and if you know anything about Jonathan Crane/Scarecrow...well, he likes to mess with people...mentally. To put it very mildly.

Now it's time for the voting. I have three different scenarios I've come up with that are variations/alternate versions of the current "Volunteer" fic's concept/storyline. I'd like followers to select 1 (one) alternate telling of the fic. I will open anonymous asks again, so if you are shy or just want your vote to remain a secret for some other reason, then that's fine by me. Otherwise, you can reply to this post with your choice.

Edit: if you are turned off by the idea of a Mortal Kombat/Batman Arkhamverse crossover, I get it. I don't read crossover fics myself, and that's usually because the crossovers either make no sense or do make sense but the ideas are poorly executed.

This crossover I'm talking about, though, isn't a full-on crossover of MK and Batman. There's no world-building, no larger plot, and no other characters in MK even appear or are mentioned except Erron Black and Cassie Cage.

If anything, it's more of a Batman Arkhamverse standard AU with Riddler and a female oc, and Erron and Cassie are the only concrete elements of MK brought in. I mean, yes, the other MK characters exist, I guess, but they have no purpose in this crossover I've written, and won't make any appearances.

So, if you had any concerns about the crossover aspect, I hope this clears things up

Choices below the cut!

A) "Don't You Wish"

This version is inspired by a song from Pink, called, "There You Go." In this alternate telling, Erron manages to survive Scarecrow's fear toxin, and escape (most likely because Erron is out of his mind and panicking, thus not a threat, and he has no one to help him, so Scarecrow doesn't give a damn what happens to the dude). The first thing Erron does is go to Sara's place, having already broken up with Cassie after realizing dating her was a mistake, and Sara means more to him than he thought.

Well, it's been several months since Sara basically pushed Erron out of her life for his poor choice in women, and (Arkham Knight) Edward Nigma has proven to be a much better (and, wiser and more sensible -- yes, I know, but he's not a skirt chaser, Guys) friend to Sara. While Erron ran off with a blonde selfie princess, Edward offered genuine comfort and companionship, and now Sara has been in the process of moving on from Erron even further.

Sara humors Erron and lets him tell her -- while sounding terrified, confused, and conflicted beyond belief thanks to the fear toxin -- what happened to him. Now, Sara doesn't know Edward asked Scarecrow to take care of Erron as a means of getting revenge for her. Doesn't matter anyway. She's unsympathetic towards Erron's plight, feeling as if he didn't even give her a chance to confess her feelings towards him, nor did he even seem to notice how she felt; it was like he was too busy with thinking with his privates to realize he had someone in front of him who would have treated him better.

Sara tells Erron -- in a flat, disinterested tone -- that his situation is tragic and all but wtf is she supposed to do? Why not go to his dumb blonde gf? Oh, they broke up? Well, how predictable. And Crane is also a (sort of) friend to Sara, which shocks Erron and leaves him feeling worse than before.

Sara sends Erron on his way, and he wanders off in a daze, unsure of what to do with his life now.

Sara and Edward meet the next day, and they have a pleasant time, obviously moving towards becoming a couple. She chooses not to mention Erron as she is completely severing the cowboy from her life.

B) "I Don't Even Miss You"

This alternate telling is similar to the previous one, but this time it's inspired by a Miley Cyrus song, "WTF Do I Know" (Hey, her Plastic Hearts album is actually fantastic!), and Edward is with Sara when Erron arrives at her place in a distressed state. At first, Sara deals with Erron in the hall of her apartment building, unsympathetic to his plight and basically telling him, "I told you so," and "too bad." Erron is getting more and more upset, even angry at Sara's callous tone, and starts to raise his voice, demanding to know why she is being so cold at a time like this?

Edward overhears Erron raising his voice to Sara, giving her a difficult time, and he gets pissed. Edward steps out into the hall and not only mocks Erron in various ways, but demands that he leave immediately, or what Scarecrow did will seem like a trip to Disney Land. Erron has caused Sara -- who is currently moving on and growing closer to Edward -- enough problems and heartache.

Edward reveals he set up Erron, and while Sara is stunned to find this out, she handles it better than expected. Edward said it was his way of getting revenge for her, and he'd do it again if need be. Erron is sent away feeling so much worse, feeling lost, hopeless, and betrayed.

Sara and Edward talk and she admits she's upset that he did something like this without speaking about it to her first. However, he explains that he genuinely did it for her and he doesn't want her to feel pain at the hands of some "idiotic cowman," who doesn't consider the feelings of others and who behaves like a greedy, violent Neanderthal. (And yes, Edward does care for Sara, and he didn't send Scarecrow after Erron out of jealousy -- maybe a little jealousy but it was mostly rage over Erron causing Sara so much emotional pain)

Sara means more to Edward than he can express, and he may not be the best when it comes to emotions, but he does care about her and wants her to be safe.

Sara forgives Edward, understanding that, through his heartfelt but very nervous and shy confession that he is sincere about his feelings for her, and they make amends. She of course tells him to never do something so extreme without consulting her first, though, because what happened to Erron -- while she doesn't care what happens to him in the slightest -- was a bit too much.

C) "Listen When the Devil's Calling"

Another title inspired by a Miley Cyrus song, "Night Crawling," and this alternate telling involves Telltale Riddler and no Scarecrow. Almost a year has passed since Erron went with Cassie and Sara, out of bitterness and heartache, refused to speak or see him. This didn't sit well with him as she was his only friend, and his relationship with Cassie dies within a few months.

He goes looking for Sara, realizing she has moved out of her apartment. It doesn't take him long to find out where she is, and she's with The Riddler, a notorious criminal genius and one of Gotham's elite villains. Erron is worried for Sara and seeks her out.

Turns out, Sara's just fine. This isn't one of those scenarios where the girl is with a guy who just using her and taking advantage of her vulnerability. No, Edward does actually love her and takes good care of her. He finds people like reckless, selfish, and ignorant people like Erron to be a disgrace but also amusing because of how pathetically primitive they are.

Edward also doesn't appreciate how Erron pushed aside a good thing in Sara to pursue a girl who is a social media brat and has more selfies on her phone than brain cells in her, well, brain. It defies all logic to Edward, but he's also not surprised because of how much of a disappointment Erron is as a human being (hey, this is Riddler we're talking about, and he's not one to be sweet and gentle to those he can't stand). Edward doesn't say these things out loud, though, as it's a bit too vulnerable and personal for him to do such a thing with someone he doesn't know or trust.

Sara is upset that Erron has resurfaced and she remembers how heartbroken she was when he went after Cassie Cage. She wants Erron to leave her alone like she asked, so she can move on. She can't trust him anymore, because he's just a skirt chaser in her eyes.

Erron tries to plead his case, tries to apologize to Sara, and expresses how he really feels, but this just distresses her further. Edward steps in and tells Erron he's done enough to Sara, she clearly doesn't want to see him, and he needs to take his leave.

This isn't a request.

Edward pulls Erron aside, telling the cowboy that the only reason he's going to walk away from this alive is that Sara hasn't asked for him to be killed. Should she tell Edward to take care of Erron, well, you all know what Telltale Riddler is like.

And those are the three variations on "Volunteer."

If you could be so kind as to:

leave a comment with your choice or

send an ask (even an anon ask) with your choice or

suggest your take on this story.

I'd appreciate it immensely!

Thank you all so much for supporting me and my writing and being patient with my sluggish publishing schedule!

[guigz1-coldwar]

'Knowning myself' : New chapter for "Redemption in a Spirit in a Cold War" is out !

'Knowing myself'

Chapter Summary : Bell is coming back from her first mission and work still need to be done....

To read it on AO3, click here !

Words : +3200

--------------------------------------------

I can say that this first mission went quite well for me and the others, I didn't have any scratchs or wounds on me and for that, let's just say that it was a success. However, we didn't learn a lot from the guy who was 'in charge' of the warehouse, having just a simple nickname : 'Bonnie Blue' and before he was able to tell us more, he changed the subject and because of me, I accidentally caused him to eat a cyanure capsule after punching him in the teeth. It was just an little success then.

After Adler told us with the most annoying voice to leave the warehouse as he proclaimed that he will make sure that all of the paperworks in here were seized and then sent to us back at the safehouse, we were obliged to comply to his order and we left the warehouse with Woods & Mason as Sims stayed around with Adler, awaiting for the CIA teams to come take the place over and use these guns Perseus was using for their own business somewhere around the world.

The travel back to the safehouse was pretty well for me. We used our car to leave the are and this time, I was in the backseats with Park as Woods and Mason decided to take the front seats with Mason driving. The first minutes were basically them complimenting me about my first mission as Park was just next to me, giving me a look that could have said 'You're not alone, Yirina, see ?'. and she was right even if she's the one for the moment I can fully trust to help me about my life. The guys are good with me but I think I should take time with them to open myself.

After these few minutes, the talks were replaced by some loud rock music from the courtesy of Woods. That wasn't my type of music but it was nice nonetheless, it's just that Woods put it very loudly in the car and it was like making some ringing bells in my ears but thanksfully, the ride finished pretty quickly as we were arrived at the safehouse, stopping those weird sensations with my ears before we left the car and got back inside, taking our equipment with us and put it back inside the armory.

Then, me & Park got next to the dashboard, looking at it, wondering maybe what was Perseus plan by doing arms trafficking and for that, we have to wait for Adler and Sims to come back.

"So, impressions about the mission ?" Park asked as we were both leaned on Adler's desk, calling me by surprise and breaking me in my thoughts.

"Well, to be honest.." I started, removing my right hand glove off and keeping it in hand"I hoped that we could have better from the guy." I looked at my right hand, a small sad look on my face. "It's my fault."

"Yirina, I already told you but we couldn't know of that." She said, having saw my face, trying to have the smiling face back on me. "We are going to know more with the paperwork Adler will bring back with him."

"Let's hope we will have something that will help us about Perseus arms trafficking and maybe on that 'Bonnie Blue'." I told her with an neutral voice, slowly getting more well but still struggling to show it. "Have you heard of that name before ?" I questioned her, putting my eyes on her.

"No clue." She simply replied "It could be anyone and let's cross our fingers that we will have just one thing that could identify that 'Bonnie Blue'."  She looked at me, sort of worried "Do you think that....it could be Freya ?"

"To give you my opinion : I don't think so." I said, not even sounding of my own answer "I hope not." I really hoped that Freya wasn't that 'Bonnie Blue', I can't think that Freya is able to do this in the Perseus Collective...well, in my point of view....

"We have just to wait now." She then put her hand in her pocket to grab a pack of cigarettes in hands and took one of them before looking at me "Smoke ?" She asked as she was handing another cigarette to me. I didn't remember that I was smoking before but, we will see that.

"Why not ?" I exclaimed, taking the cigarette in hand before putting it between my lips. She took a lighter up and light her and my cigarette before putting it back.

"So, 'The Winter Soldier'." She said, looking at the ceilling after blowing smoke from her mouth "Quite a nickname you had, you said that you hate it."

"Yes." I replied, blowing some smoke too before I start to slowly cough because of the cigarette....been a long time, I suppose ?..... I quickly catch my breath and took back control "Got it after a operation where I save Freya from the NIS...." I looked at the ground, little ashamed "I...I did slaughter the NIS agents tasked to capture after she was badly hurt."

"Shit, that's why the people I contacted yesterday in the NIS wasn't so willing to talk about Freya." She said, concerned "They told me that she was diasvowed in 1976 after they discovered her double agent status but then, nothing on her during the following years...like if she has never existed before."

"So, it was in 1976..." I whispered to myself, remembering the memory where Freya come inside my office in the Lubyanka and first met Zasha, that's when she told me the NIS found her true status.

"Anyway, you were great today." She exclaimed with an proud look, changing the subject of the conversation and I think she did a great choice. "You make me proud." She nodded before the garage door of the safehouse opened : it was already Adler and Sims, each one having at least 2 cardbox in their hands.

"Can you back off from my office ?" Adler ordered, walking towards his desk as we got away with it and as always with him, I rolled my eyes annoyed...until he suddenly put one of the cardbox, poking it at my chest.

"Hey." I said, taking the box in my hands as he was going to drop close to me in a second

"Make yourself useful for once." He said harshly, walking with the other box at Park's desk and putting it on top of it "Work on it." Is he really going to treat me like shit everyday ? I guess so and I will have to do with it and I've got Park to support me in case I decided to tie him up again back into that room.

"Dickhead." I thought to myself, I was almost going to say it loudly.

Adler walked back at his desk, leaving me to go to work on those cardbox full of paperwork seized in that Perseus warehouse and I know that it would take time for me to get it done....since there are 4 cardbox full of papers, transmissions and anything that could help us to have a better lead on breaking down the arms trafficking organized by Perseus and that strange woman they are calling 'Bonnie Blue'.

Hopefully, Park was there to help me and surprisely, Mason and Woods offered to give me and Park more few hands around to help me with the numerous things we have to do as Adler....well, it's better to not know what he's doing as we're going to do the work for him. We started things slowly at first, focusing on the cardbox Adler give me brutally and that first box was interesting : it was talking about some transmission made by I suppose to be 'Bonnie Blue' with her buyers who were only mentioned by their initials. Nothing to help us about where those buyers were coming from and there were only three buyers on those documents.

The second box was filled of register talking about the weapons Perseus was getting : it was mostly russian weaponry like AK-47 and some RPGs but it was gettin intriguing as there were also american guns and british guns too in their stocks. Discovering the box further allowed us to find out that Perseus had succeeded to have some contacts within the US Army and the British army who are supplying Perseus around the world. By luck, there were the names of those implicated.

Thanks to that info, Park decided to put out some calls to the MI6, giving them the names of the british officers involved with Perseus and to give them indications to deal with thoses persons as she exclaimed to stay in West-Berlin and I knew that she was staying for me. For the US side of it, Woods gave the names of the US Army involved with Perseus to Adler and since I preferred to focus on working my ass around, I didn't know what did he do with them...maybe some calls like Park ? Can't tell.

I checked the time rapidly, realizing that we did take at least a long time as the evening was coming down outside. We've been working on two box for hours but we were making progress anyway. The third box helped us to know more about the buyers without allowing us to identify them. It was mainly about what the buyers were using. The first one called R.D was buying the americans guns, another one called A.R was buying russian weapons and the last one H.S was using the british guns.

When we finished the third box, it was running late and the others including Park decided to take a rest as we have worked non-stop since hours but me, I wanted to continue so I decided to stay on working on the last cardbox to discover. As everyone was going to sleep, Park tried to convince me to go to sleep but she couldn't succeed into changing my mind. She know that I need to work but she doesn't want me to freak out and I understand her. However, it was better to get everything done before tomorrow.

Once everyone was out and leaving me alone, I decided to go grab a coffee to try to hold for a part of the night and when I was able to finish it, I go back to Park's desk that we were now sharing who was now the only place around the safehouse who were using the light. I was ready to continue until I hear some footsteps coming out of the dorm. I stopped myself to check who it was.

"Mason." I said as he was more visible with the light of the desk, seeing him entirely.

"Yirina." He was sounding jumpscared by me, thinking maybe that everyone was in the dorm "Why you're still working ?" He asked, getting his hands against the wall near the desk

"It's better that everything is done for tomorrow." I replied before I took a sip from my coffee.

"It's just one box remaining, we will doing it in no time." He exclaimed, little laughing.

"Maybe...." I started, raising an eyebrow "But I prefer to have it done." I then gestured him to get a seat, not wanting him to stay up for too long but he politely refused. "Why did you came ?"

"Just needed to take some fresh air." He responded, looking at the garage door "Doesn't feel good since some time."

"Really, is there a problem ?"  I said, curious. In my head, I remembered what Park told me about Mason and I started to think that it was because of that "Bad memories ?" He nodded

"Yes, I don't want to talk about it." He crossed his arms, leaning against the wall. He wasn't willing to say a thing and with my case, I can know why. "It's better for you to not know."

"I understand." I bit my lips, looking at the paperwork from the fourth box that I have put all around the desk

"Guess it's hard for you to tell yourself that you were an Perseus agent." He told me as Park told him along with Woods of everything. At hearing this, I stopped myself as I was going to get back to work.

"Yes, it was hard." I said, getting comfy in my chair "There's things I doesn't want to think right now."

"Do you have family back in Russia ?" He asked, getting my attention on him

"No, lost my parents at four years old, only my friends were my family and I don't know if they are alive or missing." I responded, my voice almost cracking

"And....and you have someone ?" He started, looking around him "You know, a boyfriend..."

"No, never had anyone." I exclaimed, taking my cup of coffee in hands. Like Park said to me, I decided to kept our relation secret....and also my sexuality to the others.

"I was thinking, Yirina." He raised an eyebrow, getting my attention back again on him "Why Park is always near you or close to you ?"

"When I came back, she told me that she wanted to do her best to stay with me and to relive the friendship we had 3 years ago." I replied, not mentioning my true relationship with her...I'm keeping my promises up...."I know that bad things happened but she was the only one to apologize and I accepted them because she believed in me."

"For that, I can say that you're right." Mason nodded in approval "She maybe helped Adler but....she's an good person and she showed it to me and Woods....and you too."

"Really ?" I said, curious

"Yeap, like I said, she has an good heart and I think Woods already told you that but you're lucky to have her at your side against Adler." He affirmed before looking at the garage door direction again "Gonna leave you to work, I'm gonna take some fresh air. Good night, Yirina."

"Night, Mason." I smiled as he was walking to get outside leaving me alone at Park's desk to work.

I tried to get back focus on trying to found out more about what the last box could have give to us but then, I started to feel very tired. Even if I drink a coffee, my eyes were feeling weak, blinking multiples times. I was feeling that my face was all white and I realized that I really need some sleep but my leg weren't cooperative anymore, causing me to think to sleep on the desk. I put the hood of my jacket on, put my arms on the desk and put my head in them, trying to go to sleep.

It was looking like a busy day inside the Lubyanka for me : going to talk with some agents about their works, giving them advices to improve their skills in cryptography, never raising the voices to those who didn't had a good work and giving some reports to some officers that I could see around. I was wearing my KGB uniform without the jacket and thanksfully, I wasn't wearing an skirt.

I was finished to talk with an officer in the archives room when I got out of it to return back to my office, checking my watch to see that it was nearly the end of the day of work. There weren't a lot of people anymore except for guards along the way until I saw a young redhead woman, holding a notebook in her arms and looking around, searching maybe for someone just at one hallway from my office.

"Hi." The woman politely called me out "Miss ?"

"Yes ?" I said, thinking that she was going to ask for the person she's been looking for.

"I wanted to know where is Yirina Grigoriev ?" She asked before I smiled

"Don't need to look too far." I handed my hand for shaking it with her "I'm Yirina Grigoriev."

"Yirina Portnova." She told me, sounding happy.

"Oh, you're the new KGB recruit !" I exclaimed, shaking our hands together. "An prodigy in cryptography as I heard." She nodded as we were finished to shook hands

"It's a pleasure to meet you." She added with an smile.

"Well, I never thought that I will meet another person who are sharing the same name as me but welcome anyway." I didn't know if she did take this as an compliment but she was still smiling and then, she laughed "If you want, you can follow me, my office is just next to us."

"My father is awaiting me at home for dinner and...."

"Don't worry..." I started, gently cutting her "It's just for presenting who I'm working for and tomorrow, I will show your way around." I then opened the lead as she was following me until we arrived in my office. I opened the door to see Zasha, still working at their desk. "Zed !" I exclaimed as I entered the office.

"Yes ?" They said before they looked at me and then behind me....looking amazed.

"Zasha, I'm presenting to you Yirina Portnova." I started as Portnova was handing her hand to them who stand up slowly, locking their eyes with her "Portnova, this is Zasha Smirnov."

"It's nice to meet you, Portnova." They said, looking troubled by her and she nodded.

"Portnova will be working with us, starting tomorrow." I told them before they stopped to shook hands as she was looking at me. "I'm letting you free, you can go."

"Thanks, miss Grigoriev." She said, giving an military salute to me before she left the office, leaving me alone with Zasha who had their eyes wide open and blushing. I looked at them with an good look,

"Quite an woman, right ?"

Then, everything goes to black before I supposely reopening my eyes as I found myself, lying down on the grass, looking at the skies and at my side, there were Park.....a old memory from my first time in the safehouse.....We were both lying down in the grass, near a river....near the safehouse...and we were both holding our hands together.

The atmosphere of the scene...it was all quiet, peaceful and looking that we were able to breathe freely after some times. In our faces, we were relieved to have some times together just the two of us.

"It's good that the others left the safehouse." I started, getting my left hand on my chest "That give us some time to be just together."

"It's rare but at least, we're profiting of it." Park added, happy in her voice.

"I can't believe that we pulled out of the Lubyanka like that." I admitted as I looked at her eyes. "I thought that we were done."

"And you wouldn't have any chance to see my face again?" She smirked, looking at me, teasing me.

"Oh, you need to know that I kept thinking about you during our exit." I exclaimed to her before giving a little kiss on the left cheek. She smiled from it before I moved back to my normal position and then after a few seconds, I was feeling some tears flowing from eyes. "I'm sorry, Park."

"About what ?" She asked, curious.

"About refusing what you wanted to do in the hotel." I replied "I should have said yes." I added.

"It's okay, Jess." She said, moving her right hand on my face.

"Adler....he broke into my room and...." I then started to cry before she moved me to get my head on her chest."

"I know, I'm sorry." She said, trying to recomfort me, getting her left hand passing through my hair. "Adler is really unpredictable, he knows now that we're both in a relationship....something he doesn't like at all." I got my hand on her chest next to my head, still having my tears falling. "He blackmailed me to stop that."

"And what did you say ?" I asked, nervous "You didn't..."

"No..." She replied, having guessed of my question, feeling her nice touch of her hand through my hair "I will never do such thing."

"I don't want to lose you, Park." I said, my voice cracking a lot before she pull me closer and get me more comfortable with her. I was getting better but I was still crying nonetheless. I then looked at her with my eyes filled of tears and she was looking moved to see me like that,

"You're so precious to me !"

[shyrose57]

Brothers anon, hope your doing well! 

1: Ran feels the same both before and after Ran forgave Ranbob. He cant help but feel guilty and tends to avoid bringing up past memories incase Ranbob doesnt remember them, cause he can't stand to see the confused look in Ranbobs eyes that soon turn to one full of sadness and a sort of emptiness. It makes Ran feel awful. It also causes Ran to think that their childhood and old relationship is gone. Which particularly keeps Ran distant from his brother, because he's scared and doesn't want to redo everything if Ranbob will just forget it.

8: All of the above. Cletus is a chaotic shit that loves creating and hearing about anything chaotic. Also he has burned down a few things in the past so he is a bit of a anarchist. They just had those cards, after all they knew they where gonna travel for a bit so why not bring playing cards to try to provide entertainment?

11: I forget if I said that (if I did then I changed it) but Ranbob actually knows that Ran is most likely dead as he wouldn't survive the night, but he still has some hope that his little brother survived.

---------

3: It was scary for him but because of the sudden turn of events he didn't really have time to register his feelings before he was getting smacked around and blinded. And yes cause Ran deserves a overprotective arc to show him that his group does love and care for him even if he thinks otherwise.

10: The townspeople act rationally to defend themselves. Even if that means they start fights because their not being respectful or kind. 

11: I'm not sure what they are. All I know is their the parent figure of the friend group but will also bite your ankles at a moments notice just because they want too.

14: Or Foolish just punts Jackie into the sand to protect his home from a possibility destructive teen. (I'm thinking yes to both of those, and we get to see one of the siblings embrace their enderside and just go crazy on Raq which leads to murder and trauma!)

15: For the cursing one I just love to imagine something like. 

Ranbob: *accidentally knocks over a stack of books* Shit!

Baby Ran: Shit!

Ranbob: *freezes and turns to look at Ran*

Baby Ran: *innocently smiling* Shit!

Ranbob: rAN NO--

(I've decided the group for this is going to be Technoblade, Phil, Ranboo, Tubbo, Karl, and Sapnap, and I may name the sub au like Brothers + Others cause it rhymes and I find it slightly funny). Oh Foolish is going to be terrified and scared for his safety, he's gonna have two hyper active teens climbing him like he's a jungle gym. Ran didnt want to help at first because he was to suspicious of them, but when proof was provided he changed his mind, and decided to take a risk to help them, but he still doesn't trust them fully. Plus, he felt bad after hearing their story, and couldn't help but sympathize with them because he felt that lost and confused at one time, and its a awful feeling. And while he won't admit it, he's curious about Ranboo and wants to talk to and get to know Technoblade, after all he did choose Techno as his idol. When the group first visited Kelalen, they got the Orphan Slayer as a gift, and because they did express some interests in going back to Mizu to see what they can do about Dream, so they got it to help them. So when Technoblade shows off his Orphan Slayer as possible proof, Watson brings out the groups Orphan Slayer and the two exact duplicate swords (expect for some nics on the GF group's sword) take most by surprise, and serve as some proof. Ranboo brings up his memory book, and since Ranbob read a bit of it, the two are able to perfectly recite a page of the book. And Karls watch, book he has of both Mizu and the Pit, and his knowledge about all groups are also proof. But even after proof the GF group is still somewhat suspicious that their who they say they are, but eventually they come to fully believe them. Ranbob is in awe. Because his ancestor is in front of him! He can ask questions he had about the history of the SMP and finally get answers! But he is also scared, because why is his dead ancestor here? Why are there so many others? What does this mean for him? Theres so much uncertainty that its hard for him to relax. The enderman hybrids get along well enough, but since Ranbob is a anxious mess, Ranboo is also an anxious and nervous mess, and Ran is bad with emotions, they dont get along super well. Tubbo and Jackie get along well and love to share stories about their respective enderman friend. Sapnap, Cletus, and Grievous get along well and even with Sapnaps current predicament, he still joins in with jokes and pranks. Karl, Phil, Isaac, Watson, and Benjamin get along very well with their habit of leading and taking care of their friends, and because their the ones planning what to do with everything going on. Technoblade doesn't really get along super well with anyone from the GF group, but he takes an interest in Ran and Watson. Only Technoblade, Tubbo, and Phil are Ranboos haunting. Ranboo tries to get close to his decedents, and he success in some places but fails in others. The time group doesn't know about Ranbobs possession, purely because Ranbob begs his group to not tell them. But the time group also suspects that something is up, and while Sapnap and Techno want to push to find out what it is but they dont because Phil yells at them. For the fighting, Phil and Ranboo want to help but are told not too for now. Saying them intervening could make things worse. So they don't. But Ranboo breaks the rule cause he cant stand hearing the two fight anymore. 

Hi, and same to you!

1: Oh, ouch. The way you phrased it, he thinks Ranbob could still forget? Does Ran not know Dream caused it?

8: FGHJK-Anon. Anon. Hearing Cletus was a bit of an anarchist, just, made my day. Holy heck. Can you imagine Quackity’s reaction to hearing that? Oh my god, that’d be so funny. 

The cards are the only game they brought? Sounds like it might get boring quick. And a bored group makes for a chaotic one.

11: Ah, so it was a hope thing. Hm. I don’t think I’ve asked before- feel free to correct me if I have-, but, if Ranbob thought Ran was dead, how did he feel upon finding out he was alive-especially considering the circumstances.

-------------

3: Poor Ran. But also, yes! Overprotective arc! Let everyone go feral for the dude who’s always ready to do the same for them.

10: Hmm.

11(?): They...sound...interesting??? Honestly, I don’t think that answer settled my nerves at all, but y’know what, none of my business. The gremlin friend is whatever they are, and I will not question it further. 

14: Jackie’s just getting tossed around everywhere, huh. First by Ran, then by Foolish, who’s next up to yeet the child? (Also, yay! Murder and trauma, always fun!)

15: Pfft, oh goodness. That must’ve been fun to explain to his parents. 

----------------

Hey, it does rhyme! Nice. 

Poor Foolish. He had a mostly nice life before Tubbo’s return, probably. Oh well. And Techno’s got a traumatized fan now, that’ll be interesting. What does he do with his new-old future sword? Duel wield? Let the GF group keep it? 

Two anxious endermen and one who’s bad with emotions, what emotional pain will they cause each other?

What kind of stories do Jackie and Tubbo share? Funny ones? Blackmail? 

Sapnap, Cletus, and Grievous sound like a terrifying force, and honestly, for the sake of everyone else, I hope a prank war never sparks between them and Tubbo and Jackie. 

Do the leaders of the group all kind of take charge together in light of this situation? In what ways does Ranboo succeed, and in what ways does he fail? How does Sapnap and Karl not being part of his haunting effect their relationship with the GF gang, considering they all are? Do they ever become part of a haunting?

Do they find out about the possession, and if so, reactions? What happens when Ranboo involves himself in the fighting? Does it get better, or worse?

[nuoyipeach]

Fresh Start (seulyong os)

Feb. 18 2021

Taeyong regrets many things.

Being a coward in school. Bottling up his feelings. Never confessing to his best friend. Holding in the urge to do it even at her wedding.

Now he regrets something more than ever. He wished he knew. He wished he could have saved her from this. He wished he was the one going home and making her smile, not going home late only to make her upset.

Even her child. He wished she was his. He wished he was her dad. And frankly, the six-year-old sometimes wanted the same.

Taeyong brought her cake on her birthdays, her dad would come home and sleep. Taeyong helped her with her homework, her dad went on business trips. Taeyong helped her prepare a surprise birthday party for her mother, her dad didn't even remember.

"Why did mummy ever marry dad?"

"Don't say that Arin. If your mum and dad didn't meet you wouldn't be here." Taeyong answered as they drove home from school. Another thing, Taeyong always took her home when her mother couldn't, her dad would simply drive past.

"Still, I'd rather not be here than have a dad who never looks at me." she sighed. For a seven-year-old, Arin was quick to catch how absent her father always was. "I wish I was your baby... You're the best."

Taeyong smiled at her, a little sadly. How he wished the same.

Especially now that he found out something. Something he knew would break Arin's heart for sure. He didn't even have the courage to tell Seulgi what he saw, but he pushed himself to it knowing this was not right in any means.

He regrets even more now. He regrets not being around when she was dating this man to see his true colours. He regrets not stopping them from marrying for his own selfish reasons, because he knew for sure he would never think to hurt Seulgi like this.

He'd never have another lady behind her back.

Reaching Arin's home, he let her run in while he helped carry her bag in. "Arin can you call your mum out? I have to speak with her." the little girl nodded and ran in to call out her mother. Taeyong walked in and sat on the couch, shaking his leg and looking down as anxiety ate him up.

"Hey Taeyong." he heard her cheerful voice, the one that always made him happy. But now it made him sad. He looked up with a sad smile and watched as she sat next to him, already sensing something wrong. "What happened?"

Taking a deep breath, Taeyong looked right in her eyes. "Seulgi, you're my best friend, since forever almost. And I'd do anything to keep you happy. But... There's something I have to tell you."

"OK... What is it?"

"I... I caught him with someone else. Thrice actually..."

"Get out."

Taeyong's eyes widened, confused by her sudden command. "What?"

"Get out Taeyong. I never thought you'd go this far." Seulgi stood up, obviously angry as her hands fisted her shirt.

Taeyong stood as well. "What are you talking about Seulgi? I'm trying t-"

"I know what you’re doing. I know that you've liked me for a while now. And honestly, I'm upset you didn't tell me this before I got married to someone else. But that's over for me because I already had my love life, and I don't care for your bullsh*t stories to break up my family. I'm happy the way I am."

Taeyong was shocked, by every part of her sentence. The fact that she knew, the fact that she was upset, the fact that she doesn't care, but mostly the fact that she thinks he's lying to get her back. Anger boiled up in him, as Taeyong was not someone who liked being accused of things.

"Seulgi, as much as I still have feelings for you, that's not why I'm doing this. I did see him with another lady, three times. I'm not telling you this to break you up, trust me I would have done that long before you married. I'm telling you this because you're still my best friend, and I don't want you to suffer." Seulgi simply pointed at the door, motioning him to get out. No matter what Taeyong was the angriest here. He scoffed and turned to the door. "Have it your way then. You won't be hearing from me anymore I guess, since this is the part you refuse to speak to me further thinking I'll make up more stories to break your family. Well, I have better things to do than this, so don't bother."

Taeyong regretted what he did. He regrets cutting off from Seulgi just like that. He regrets not answering her calls. He regrets not picking up Arin from school.

He regrets not being there when the car sped up towards her.

He drove as fast as he could, reaching the hospital in no time and ran to where Seulgi had texted him they were. He reached the room after going up several floors in the elevator, and peeked in, suddenly losing all strength in his body.

He dragged himself inside and stood next to Seulgi's crouched body beside the bed, a small body laid in it covered with mask and other such equipment. Seeing her face broke Taeyong's heart even more.

"Arin..." he gently cupped her cheek in one hand and held her shoulder in the other, lightly shaking her. "Arin, wake up. I'm here, it's me uncle Yong. Baby wake up please, and I'll take you to the fair. Remember you promised me you'd get first in class? It doesn't matter. Wake up and we'll go right away baby." his voice trembled while Seulgi's loud sobs continued and he couldn't help break down soon. "Arin please, you- you need to wake up. Don't make mummy sad, you hate that. Arin..."

Unable to hold it in any longer, he let his head fall into her chest and cried out loud. "Arin I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry baby for not being there... I shouldn't have cut the call, I should've known better. Please baby wake up..."

Taeyong rarely left Arin's side. After Seulgi, he was the second person who was always with her, except for work and when he had to go home. He'd sit there and read to her like he did during her bedtime when they had sleepovers or tell her about any promotion he got at his job. Seulgi would watch and was happy, but Taeyong would catch her on her phone talking to her husband, who only came once in the past month. It was to the point Taeyong memorised what excuses he'd give.

I'm busy.

I'm tired.

Tomorrow

I've got meetings.

Sorry, too much paperwork.

Even the couple’s parents came more than he did himself obviously. When Seulgi's parents came they were beyond happy to see Taeyong. They've always favoured him when growing up, and also knew about his feelings for Seulgi but he told them to keep quiet about it. Although again, he regrets that.

But they were also the ones other than Taeyong who knew about her husband's dirty secret. Except for Seulgi and her in-laws, many friends and family knew. But when Taeyong told them how she had reacted they kept quiet, knowing she'd be too broken to hear, especially now.

When Seulgi's in-laws visit, they always give Taeyong the stank eye, as if he was here to cause trouble.

"Seulgi where's my son?" her mother-in-law asked as she eyed Taeyong going through Arin's daily health checks.

"He said he's busy again. He only came the second day." she replied to which her mother-in-law sighed and left the room. Seulgi's mother was present and looked as her daughter also sighed, sick of having to deal with her in laws always questioning about her husband, when they could easily contact their own son themselves.

And that's another thing both her mother and Taeyong noticed.

It had been a month and she was sick of seeing her daughter remain so naïve, and now she broke her limit. As her in laws left, she shut the door immediately and locked it, then looked at her daughter who stood confused. Taeyong's eyes widened and he quickly turned away, busying himself with Arin.

"Seulgi how much more is it going to take you to realise that he's cheating on you and that his family is fully aware? How much longer do I have to watch my only child and grandchild go through this mess? Why are you being such a rock head? What do you have to be so protective over? What's wrong with you!?!"

Seulgi stood shocked. The last time she heard this was her fight with Taeyong, and to hear it from her mother caught her off guard.

"Mum what do you mean? Why are you saying this?"

"Taeyong told you, yet you didn't listen. Well listen to your mother, everyone's seen him around with that other lady, even your cousin. Yet we never could tell you because Taeyong stopped us when he didn't see. He saw how happy you were, especially with Arin around, he didn't want us to ruin your happiness, that's how much he loved and cared for you. But when he saw it himself, he regretted so many things, you don't know how we had to stop him from doing anything rash. He finally picked up the courage to tell you, but you didn't listen. Look what happened, Arin's in coma! I'm not blaming either of you, but maybe if you would've listened to him and not break out a fight none of this would have happened in the first place!"

Seulgi tugged her hair back, letting out a frustrated sigh. "Taeyong get out." she suddenly mumbled.

Taeyong looked up surprised. "What?"

Seulgi turned around in a rush and faced him. "Get. Out. Go, leave. I don't want you around right now." Taeyong looked at her mother who signalled him to do as she said. He put down the clipboard of Arin's checks and silently walked out of the room, closing the door behind him. Her mother then faced back to her only to see tears streaming out of her eyes, her legs giving in as she fell sitting on the empty space of Arin's bed.

The elder lady walked up to her and held her hand. She was her mother, and if anything she knew her feelings the most over anyone else in their lives. "Honey, I know something's not right with you. Tell me, talk to me." she cupped Seulgi's face and raised her head up to look at her. "You're my baby no matter how old you grow, I know from the start honey, that you've loved Taeyong as much as he loves you still."

Seulgi cried even more, hiding her face in her mother's chest. Her mother combed her hair as she herself let out tears seeing what kind of a mess her child was in, something no loving mother would want their children through.

"Talk to me Seulgi, please."

"I loved him mum, I still do. But he was so distant with me suddenly, I didn't know why. That's why I moved on, that's why I met Arin's dad, that's why I married him because no matter how long I waited, Taeyong never said a thing. No matter how many times I messed around with guys, Taeyong kept quiet." she felt her mother move away slightly and lost the warmth for a second before she felt it again.

But it felt different, and she knew why. She fisted her hands hard and started hitting the body holding her. "You're an asshole! Why didn't you say anything! Why did you let me do all that! Why didn't you force me to break up back then! Why can't you be selfish! Why Taeyong, just why didn't you do something!"

Taeyong's face wasn't any drier as he had heard the entire conversation she had with her mother, who now stood outside instead. He realised how his kindness was a pain, how his warm heart back then only led to so many being hurt now. How he regrets not being selfish back then.

"I still love you Seulgi, but I'm such a coward. I didn't know you loved me back, I didn't know all those stunts you pulled back then was to get my attention. I didn't want to hurt you, I wanted you to be happy, even if that meant losing you to another man..."

"F*ck you Lee Taeyong!" Seulgi screamed as she stood up, shocking Taeyong who knew for the longest that she was not one to curse this easily. "F*ck you and your kindness!" she continued to cry. Taeyong pulled her into his embrace, letting her cry into his chest while his hands caressed her back.

"Leave him. He's not worth your time. Even as we speak he's off with someone else."

Seulgi pulled away and stared at him, crying suddenly stopped as her eyes burned with anger. "I won't leave him." she said catching him off guard. "Not until you kiss me."

Taeyong was even more shocked, knowing it wasn't right. "I... You're married to someone else, I can't kiss a marr-"

"Shut up!" she pushed him away. "If you're still going to be the kind person in this situation, then forget it. I won't leave him without a fight, until I do what he's putting me through. Kiss me, or I won't listen to you, or even my mother. I'll stay with this man even if he thr-"

Taeyong had had enough of her talk, enough of her stubbornness, something he was pretty fond of but not now. And he did as she wished. He grabbed her arm and pulled her roughly, colliding her lips with his own. Seulgi wasn't one to wait and her hands wrapped around his neck tight as she returned the kiss. He let go of her arm and snaked both his hands around her waist, both adults pulling their bodies closer to each other wanting not a single waste of space between them, wanting to make up for the time they lost all those years.

Out of breath, Taeyong pulled away slightly, their foreheads still pressed together as they both took shallow breaths. His eyes were fixed at her swollen lips before looking directly into hers, and suddenly he saw a glint of joy in them.

"Only you could ever make me break laws and morals..." he spoke quietly to which she chuckled.

"Sometimes it's better to be the bad person Taeyong, especially for revenge." she replied before claiming his lips again. But Taeyong was quick to pull away this time, his hold on her now gentle.

"What will you do now?"

"I'm calling him now, our marriage is over. I'll get annulment papers tomorrow itself."

Taeyong smiled proudly at her, before he remembered Arin. "What about Arin?"

Seulgi turned behind looking at her child, still laying lifeless on the bed. She thought deeply for a second, then turned back to Taeyong as she figured it all out simply. "She loves you, more than her father. He was rarely present while you were. You took care of her when he couldn't even feed her. She loves you and sees you as the man in her life, more than she even sees him as her father. Whatever happens, I know for sure she wouldn't care much if he's gone. Hurt yes, that she no longer has a father, but with you around, she won't be sad for long."

It wasn't as easy as she thought as her in laws gave quite a fight, denying the cheating accusations Seulgi threw at their son and claiming that she cheated instead. It wasn't until Seulgi swore on Arin that she never did such and yelled that even they knew about their son's affair but were too ashamed to admit it. And as usual the man arrived late, and to his family's surprise didn't hesitate much on agreeing to the divorce, even giving Seulgi full custody over Arin with no request of seeing her weekly.

During the whole ordeal Taeyong stood by Seulgi's side along with her mother, as he was her lawyer. And he didn't miss the obvious stank eye her in-laws kept giving her still, as if he was the cause of all this. At one point her mother-in-law even stood against him.

"You set this up, didn't you? You're the reason for this mess!"

"Ma'am your son himself has agreed to the annulment and accepted the claims. There's nothing more to this."

"Then why are you always around? I know for sure you got Seulgi to do this!"

Taeyong huffed dropping the file with the ex-couples’ signatures onto the table, anger clear in his eyes. "Ma'am, if there's anybody to blame here it's your son. Seulgi has been my best friend since elementary, me always being there was nothing out of the norm. Trust me in different situations I would have befriended your son as well through her. But I never attempted it because I knew what he's been doing. We've got many witnesses against him as well, so please don't make this so hard for me. I'm nothing but a lawyer here, and I'd like to solve my cases quickly and quietly, no drama."

The elder woman was about to speak when her son, now Seulgi's ex-husband, held her back. "Mum stop being so dramatic. What's done is done, let it go. I really don't care about this right now." he spoke, his attitude nonchalant and turned back to his phone.

Taeyong didn't want to drag this any longer do collected the papers together and filed them. "It will take two weeks to officiate, until then you can start moving out and discuss on possessions. If you need any help deciding those you can give me a call, however I expect that it shouldn't be too much of a problem."

"Not at all." the man replied before turning to Seulgi. "You can take all of your things and Arin's, and whatever I had gifted you too like the car, just take it."

"How can you give her so easily?" his mother yelled again.

"Because it's her right?" he replied sarcastically. "I'm the one who cheated, besides what's me keeping those things going to do for me. I don't need anything to remind me of them laying around the house."

Seulgi's blood boiled at his words. How could she have wasted all those years of her life on such a man who doesn't even show care about his own child? She looked away from them and saw Taeyong filing the final paper before standing up.

"Well then, that's all. You may leave now. You will get the letter in two weeks." and not surprisingly, her ex-in-laws were quick to leave along with the man. Seulgi's family sat there and sighed looking at each other then Taeyong, who just sat back after putting the file in his urgent cabinet.

"Well, I guess we should go now." her father spoke up. "We need to help you pack your things and move out right. Hopefully doesn't take too long, I don't want to be in that house."

Seulgi nodded sadly, when Taeyong spoke up. "No need, I've arranged for movers, they'll do it for you. I'll be there, you can come too if you want to Seulgi, but they're going there in about half an hour, so it shouldn't take too long."

The family smiled at him in gratitude, when they noticed Seulgi's fatigued face. Her mother held her hand and turned to face her. "What's wrong sweetheart?"

"Where will I go?" she whispered. "I can't move in with you guys with so much. It's a burden. I'm unemployed too, I can't afford a house now..." she held back her tears, when she noticed everyone quiet. Looking up she was shocked to see them all smiling mischievously, except for Taeyong who had a nervous look.

"Well," her father spoke up, "you actually do have a place all ready for you, and Arin." he said, eyes darting towards Taeyong, causing Seulgi to turn to him too.

"What do you mean?"

Taeyong rubbed the back of his neck, nervous from thinking what to say. "Well... I should have asked you, but I prepared my house for you to move in, with me." he looked at her directly and saw her bewildered expression. "I mean if you don't want to its completely fine, we can help you find somewhere else. Or you can stay with your parents and store your stuff at my place for now."

Seulgi bit her bottom lip looking down at her fumbling hands, all eyes in the room on her. "I... I don't know for sure. I don't want to bother you too much. And I have to watch over Arin. An-”

“Seulgi,” her mother cut her off, “how much longer are you going to underestimate Taeyong?” she looked at her mother, slightly confused. “You should go to his house with him now. Leave the movers to us, what’s more important is to change you Seulgi.“

In the next fifteen minutes Seulgi stood with Taeyong in the elevator heading down to the garage to his car. It was an awkward silence, until Taeyong suddenly moved closer and held her hand. “I have to ask you. Do you perhaps have something else in mind?”

Seulgi looked up to see his saddened eyes. “What do you mean?”

“If you don’t want to, you don’t have to be with me. It feels like I’m forcing you, and I don’t want that. If you want to be on your own with Arin go ahead, I’ll still be by your side, so there’s nothing for you to worry about losing.“

Seulgi chewed her bottom lip. Truth was, she loved the idea. Waking up every morning next to Taeyong, having his arms around her, waiting for him to come home from work while she prepared his meal, having dinner as they talked about the day, spending the nights together cuddling (or making love). She always wished it was him. When she was married for the past eight years, she completely erased those fantasies from her mind, but whenever she saw him playing with Arin or helping her with errands, she couldn’t help wishing it was him for a split second before reminding herself she was a married woman.

Now she doesn’t have to stop it. But another worry filled her mind.

She wanted to give him time, she wanted to take some time herself as a matter of fact. It felt so fast, one moment she’s married, the next she’s divorced, the next she’s moving with another man already. All while her daughter, the light of her life, was in the hospital.

The elevator bell got her attention back to reality, and she quickly followed behind as Taeyong had already walked out, evidently hurt by her silence as an answer. While in the car driving to his house, which she realised she barely even knew the way to, she thought of an answer, not wanting to leave him with silence.

“Taeyong...” he replied with a hum, “I... I don’t know what I want. Don’t get me wrong, I love you, I want nothing more to start my life over with you. But... It feels so fast. I thought we could have a fresh start, take a step at a time you know. But at the same time, I don’t want to go through it all again. Then there’s Arin. I need to think about her. It’s obvious he won’t be taking part in her life anymore, I’m all she has...”

The car came to a halt and she realised they had already reached Taeyong’s double storey house. She peeked around and found it was in a quiet neighbourhood, and it was big but felt very homely. She watched as he got out and followed behind him until entering the house. Taeyong not once has said a word to her, and it was starting to make her emotional. Did she hurt him with what she said? She stood in the middle of the hallway, trying to fight back her tears, when a hand slipped into her own.

“I want to show you something.“ Taeyong said softly before pulling her along across the living room to the second floor. There was another hallway, then what seemed like a family living area, then three doors, then what she figured were the rooftop patio doors at the end of the hallway. He tugged her to one of the doors and motioned for her to open it. All the while Seulgi wondered why he had such a big house to himself, but shook off the thoughts as she turned the handle and entered...

A kid's room. The walls were coloured baby pink, a white high platform bed with drawers on the side, a shelf with several toys and books, and a table with colour pencils scattered on them. She also spotted two doors, one guessing the bathroom while the other looked like a closet room, though it seemed locked.

However, everything looked as if no one had touched a thing for the longest time.

“You know, whenever Arin stayed over, this was her room.“ he suddenly said catching her attention as Seulgi looked at him, obviously confused why he would dedicate an entire room to her child. “Don’t take this the wrong way, I had no intention of breaking your family. But I also had no intention starting my own. I felt like staying single for the rest of my life was the better option. When Arin started staying over, it made me feel alive to have someone around. And when her visits became frequent, I figured giving her a room here wouldn’t have been a bad idea. Whenever you were busy and she stayed, I’d let her take over this place. Ever since our, well, fight, this room became unused. It hurt me, if I may be honest, that I lost you in more than just one way. This room wasn’t just for Arin, but whenever I felt sick of my life I’d come here and look at her drawings. She loves to draw, same as you, and looking at them would help me relive childhood moments, when I was happy. When I was with you.“

Seulgi looked back at the room, walking towards the wall with all of Arin's drawings hung up. Some were of her and her mother, some with Seulgi's parents, and some with Taeyong.

None of her own father.

She then continued to the shelf of toys, before looking back at Taeyong. "You bought her so many things..." she said when he gave a chuckle.

"They're ours."

"What?"

Taeyong walked next to her, looked at the shelf before picking out a small toy and handing it to her. "They're our toys, well some of them, the ones that survived I guess. I had them in a box in my basement, and Arin somehow found them. I must say, she gave me quite a heart attack when I couldn't find her that time." he laughed softly remembering the day he had almost lost his life unable to find the child, only to see her playing with the toys in the basement.

"You gave them to her?"

"Yes. Back then there was nothing in this room except for the shelf. When I saw her playing with them, I allowed her to have them to herself and let her put them on the shelf so she could get them easily. That was when I decided to give her this room."

Taking her hand, he led her to the bed and sat down with her. Her hands felt around the covers. "And this bed?"

"I got it recently, after our talk at the hospital. I guess I got excited to finally have you with me, and I figured the first step to our relationship would be Arin's life."

Seulgi didn't care to hold back her tears, moving closer into his arms. "How did you accept..." she mumbled into his shoulder.

"Accept what?"

"Arin." she moved away and spoke. "Any other person would have been hurt to see the person they love marry away and have a family of their own. How did you love Arin so much, despite her father being him?"

Taeyong sighed, hand running through her hair before cupping her cheek. "In my eyes Arin was your child. Yours and only yours. Of course I acknowledged her father, but I treated her like my own. I sound selfish, I'll admit I sometimes thought I was going crazy, a psycho for having such thoughts. But I couldn't help it... Especially when I found out he was cheating, I knew I had to be there for you two."

Seulgi leaned against his chest, and with his arm around her, Taeyong slolwy laid down with her. Her hand stroked his clothed chest while his fingers threaded through her locks hummin softly to their favourite song since they were young. They stayed like that in silence for a long time, until he felt her head turn to look up at him so he faced her.

Seulgi stared at him quietly but he could tell she was thinking hard about something. “Taeyong...” he hummed in response. “Will you please adopt Arin?”

Seulgi was moved in by the next day, and Taeyong showed her their new bedroom (technically not a new bedroom, but new to them as a couple). He also helped her move Arin’s things into her room.

A week after she received the divorce letter, the two were already at his office again signing marriage papers, and Taeyong’s adoption over Arin. Seulgi almost teared up watching him sign the adoption papers, and gave him permission to change Arin’s last name to his. It wasn’t just for him though, but Seulgi didn’t want Arin to wake up as that man’s daughter anymore. She wanted Arin to have a better life, with a better father.

The couple had also agreed to not hold any sort of ceremony or such until Arin was better, not just awake, but awake and living. They both prioritised the young girl’s life more than anything else to them, and ever since her doctor allowed for Arin to be kept at home, they even slept in the same room with bedding on the floor, not leaving her alone for a second.

Taeyong once caught Seulgi up at night, crying holding her daughter’s hand. He got up and sat closer to her, hugging her from behind. "It will get better, I promise." he whispered, his hand holding hers which held onto Arin's. She cried even more, turning towards him and hiding her face in his chest.

"I miss her. I feel like I'm losing her day by day. I can't even remember the last words she said to me anymore. I keep having dreams, hallucinations, that she's here with us, playing around the house. Whenever you go to work, when I'm cooking or doing anything, I keep seeing her..."

Taeyong shushed her kissing her forehead, his hand now in her hair while the other pulled her into his lap and stayed at her hips. He knew what she meant, he noticed it too. Whenever Seulgi was silently doing an errand, he'd catch her look straight ahead and suddenly smile. He knew why, but he never bothered her about it, scared she may have not realised it and would only make her worry more.

"I'm tired Taeyong... I feel like giving up."

"Hush Seulgi, don't say or do that. Don't think about it. We will have her back, I promise."

Seulgi only sighed, letting out more tears. "We've done everything. Talk, play music, they said she'll wake up soon. When is soon? It's killing me. I’m going crazy."

Taeyong silently kept craddling her until he felt her go limp and knew she was asleep by then. Slowly he laid her back down on the floor bed they had, not once letting go of her hand as he laid beside her.

As if Arin’s position wasn’t hard enough, Seulgi cried locking herself in the closet. It was Valentine’s Day a week ago, & the couple had decided to take just one day to themselves and rest easy to spend some alone time.

Now she regrets not taking precaution, thinking her timing was safe.

“Seulgi, please open up. I saw it, in the trash. Love come out so we can talk it through. I won’t push you for anything, you know that Seulgi.“

She opened the door and threw herself into Taeyong’s arms, wanting nothing more than silence. Taeyong knew this, and gently carried her up to their bed, still hugging her. They remained quiet for a long time, until she took slower breaths and eased her body. He looked down at her trying to see her expression, giving her forehead a gentle kiss.

“Do you want to keep it?“ he asked softly. “It’s entirely up to you. I’m sorry this happened so suddenly, you have every right to make whatever decision it is.“

Seulgi looked up at him, then hid in his chest again. She didn’t know what to do. For some reason even she couldn’t think of, she had too many conflicitng thoughts going through her head.

What if another child takes their attention away from Arin?

What if Taeyong really disapproves of abortion?

What if having the baby gives them some peace?

What if Arin wakes up happier than ever to this baby?

What if Taeyong forgets about Arin having his own child?

What if hearing the baby will wake up Arin?

What if...

“I don’t know...” she cried again. “I don’t know what to do. There’s so many things, what if Arin loves it and wakes up, or what if you push Arin aside...”

“Hey!“ Taeyong pushed her out and held her by the shoulders. “You know I love Arin more than anything. Why would you say that? That hurts my feelings... I love her Seulgi. If I didn’t I wouldn’t have done so much for her even before our relationship.“

Seulgi looked down feeling guilty of having such thoughts. She knew very well how much Taeyong loved her daughter, how much he would give up for her. She looked back at him and shook her head apologetically. “I’m sorry... You’re right, I shouldn’t have thought of that.”

Taeyong sighed before hugging her again. “It’s OK. But tell me, about this now.” he said holding her head to his chest.

After a long silence, Seulgi looked back at him with a nervous look. “Do you think Arin would love a younger sibling?”

Taeyong smiled and cupped her cheek. “Arin’s a sweet girl. I’m sure she’d love nothing more than becoming an older sister. Remember how she took care of you when you got sick, and she was only five.” he chuckled softly. Seulgi smiled and looked down to their intertwined hands, the ring on his finger bringing her some sort of reassurance of trust.

part 2 (cuz this is getting too long😅)

[mego42]

I 100% agree about wanting more fanfic lists! I honestly think it's the best way to get a variety. Everybody has personal preferences, if someone, who mostly reads long, fluffy au Brio fic, is making recs, they're not likely to mention short, angsty, canon Brio (which is understandable and fair!) so ideally someone else, who does like those, would also do recs. I'm pretty sure I've read or at least tried the vast majority of Brio fics, but the recs often make me re-read the fic and author.

YAAASSSS!!! I mean like, okay, I v much get why people have issues with rec lists, and I def do not by any stretch endorse the idea that recs/rec lists should be considered anything other than one person sharing a think they liked, but to me a lot of the issues (the same fics/authors getting recced, feeling like awesome fics/authors are going unrecognized) can be solved by more reccing, not less. everyone’s got different taste and different stuff they look/read for and I am extremely pro sharing that.

Idk, I think about it like this: in a previous internet life I was a YA book blogger and I lived and died by recs from other bloggers whose taste and preferences I knew. I mean, you know, I’d check out a book bc the premise sounded interesting but literally the first thing I would do was go to Goodreads and look for a handful of people who tended to like the same books I did and see what they were saying about it bc that was the best way to get a good idea of if I wanted to give it a shot. Or, on the flip side, there were some people whose reviews I followed bc I knew we v much did not read for the same things so if they hated a book for X, Y and Z reasons, I was probs going to like it (one thing about book blogging is if you want to keep current, you do not have a lot of time to mess around, snap judgements are key but that’s a whole other thing and idk if it’s even relevant anymore bc that landscape has changed so much). 

ANYWAY, the point is, I got in the habit and now I do the same thing with fic bc, tbh, I don’t have a ton of time to read, esp not when I’m actively writing which, with the exception of the last week or two, I’ve been doing p non-stop since I got here. All of which to say is, I am desperately in favor of fic recs for purely selfish reasons, I need them! Give them to me!!! Please!!!!!

That said, I uh, am v bad at returning the favor and I recognize that (I think I’ve made what? two rec lists for this fandom?) so I will try to do better to live by my own, idek what this is, moving on and here are 10 recs not really thematically linked by anything other than I’ve read them and loved them and don’t think I’ve put any of them on one of my rec lists yet (and if I have, my blog is a trainwreck I cannot be expected to remember what’s on it LET ME LIVE):

The Goodest Boy by EnsignDisaster

There’s a key turning in the lock and Buddy rushes over to greet his Master excited for her to meet his new friends. The door opens and he dances around Master’s feet rejoicing on the fact that she’s made it home. It's been literally forever.

“Hey Buddy what’s wrong? Need to go potty? Need to pee-pee?”

“Nah he’s good we took him out.”

Master does something very unMasterlike, she drops all the food she’d brought in on the ground and screams. It’s a non traditional avant garde type of hello…Buddy loves it. Mostly because while Master taps furiously on her small light box and sits tense in the corner opposite his new friend Buddy can lick up the egg smashed on the hardwood floor.

Buddy! The! Dog! POV! no further explanation necessary. Technically WIP, but it covers the whole pilot in a way that could be read as standalone (THOUGH THAT WOULD V MUCH GIVE ME A SAD though, when did the show forget the Bolands had a dog? so maybe that’s a tragic casualty of canon, idk)

May The Moon’s Silvery Beams by @pynkhues

Emma hums in agreement, and Rio turns her around to sit her on the counter, grabbing one of the older looking boxes of muesli while she kicks her legs out, heels bumping back against the counter, watching him. He gropes around the inside of the box, finally just opting to pull the plastic cereal bag out and peering inside. He can’t quite keep the grin off his face when he sees the wad of cash lining the bottom. This woman kills him, she really does.

Then there’s a little face peering up beside him, trying to peek into the box.

“What is it?” she asks, and he tilts the box sideways so she can see inside.

The upside to not getting here until s3 is that old fic is new to me! Huzzah!! Idk how many of y’all have already read this on but if you haven’t I highkey recommend. Extremely cute take on what if Emma woke up when Rio and came by to collect his/Beth’s/whoever's money during the shutdown. Cannot believe I’m reccing kidfic. Witchcraft!!!!!!

Maybe You’re My Fantasy by ohmisterjapan

He fucking loves the involuntary. It speaks to how he likes to unlock chaos and walk away. He's been called a control freak before and it felt like such a misunderstanding of him - he's all about self control but he doesn't want to control others. It's more that he enjoys revealing to them how little they can control themselves. It's more that he likes to stand still in the eye of someone else's storm and pick coldly through the wreckage.

Another oldie but a goodie. This fic is more like an extended character study (first chapter Rio POV, second chapter Beth) and I LIVE FOR THIS KIND OF SHIT. I really really really love the take on both characters, it really digs in and pulls out some nuances that made me sit and think about my own read of them and I love it.

A Shock Of Blue by mintletters16

“You don’t look very well. Would you… like me to get you a glass of water or something?”

Her voice is low but smooth, laced with a softness that cuts straight though to his core. Strawberry blonde locks fall gently just above the pair of magnets freezing him in place.

He can still feel the chaos tearing through his veins - emanating from the gold plated gun stuffed in his waistband - and suddenly he can’t be here anymore. Can’t meet this wide-eyed gaze that’s been locked on his for the past God-knows-how-long anymore.

Can’t see blue alive and concerned when he just left it cold and void somewhere in oblivion.

She’s looking at him like he’s on the brink of madness. He thinks maybe he is.

Apparently, it’s backlist rec day over here and I’m not sorry. This one is another technical WIP but the chapter works as a standalone (BUT if the author decided to return to it I WOULD NOT BE MAD). It’s a what if Beth and Rio met pre-canon and it works so!!! well!!!! The tension and fascination and build are all *chef’s kiss* plus the writing is gorgeous and lyrical and ugh, I love it.

for a moment we were strangers by openhearts

“We got stuff,” Rio motions with a nod to the backpack Beth hadn’t noticed when they arrived hanging on the back of one of the chairs at the island.

She swallows and turns back to the dishes, realizing Rio apparently means to sleep there , assuming the place isn’t bugged.  Or for some kind of cover story if it is.  She turns and fixes Rio with a narrow-eyed stare, studying his face, the corner of his jaw especially prominent from the angle she’s looking up at him.  He’s methodical about drying each dish and setting it back on the rack, maddeningly ignoring her hard stare, so when he goes to take the next plate from her hands she grips it tightly and gets his attention.

“Hey.”

“What you on about now?” he asks, irritated.

It gets her gut uneasy, how he’s just . . . there, settling in, in ways he never had before, no matter how nonchalantly he would let himself in through her locked doors.  

“This is,” Beth tries, failing, to find words for it, “. . . it’s weird .”

This one takes place post 204 and Rio and Marcus end up spending a long weekend staying with Beth and Emma for reasons (that work, for the record, I’m just not trying to summarize rn) and it’s domestic and cute but honestly my fav part of it is how weirded out Beth is by how easily they slip into sync. The story does an excellent job balancing where they are in canon (uneasy post-sex truce) with a snapshot of what they could be if they got over themselves (HA! as if) and Beth is DEEPLY FREAKED which makes her slow slide into realizing she could maybe sort of kind of oh shit like it/him??? that much more satisfying.

Not So Careful by @bensonstablers

When he doesn’t answer, her eyes go to his but he’s too busy watching the letter opener which is still pressed against the back of his hand. Curiously, Beth runs it up his arm, careful not to press too hard, and smiles a little as he shivers. Pulling her leg up onto the bed, she shuffles closer to him before pressing the tip of the sword to his chest and slowly circling his left nipple with it, being sure not to get too close.

“You ain’t gotta be that careful.”

And when she lifts her eyes to meet his, he’s got that look. The one that always makes a lump form in her throat and for her to fall back into bed with him without a single thought of what they have to do that day. Only thing is, this time they’ve got nothing to do for the rest of the weekend and well, staying in bed the entire time had seemed like an appealing idea so she allows herself to give in a little to that look.

It makes me EXTREMELY SAD that knifeplay ranked so low on the kink survey so I’m gonna need y’all to check out this V V V EXCELLENT example of it and come back and tell me you’re sorry and you voted wrong. I am v reasonable what are you talking about.

love (where it wasn’t supposed to be) by @lilliloves

"You know what I can't stand?" Rio asks, stepping closer. It's a rhetorical question but he pauses for a second and watches Dean sniff, watches a bead of sweat trickle down his forehead, watches him shift on both his feet as he contemplates making a run for it.

"A guy who don’t realize how good he's got it." Rio continues, looking Dean up and down in disgust. "A guy that will literally fuck up a good thing just to get his dick wet."

"Yeah, well I can't stand a guy who can have anyone he wants but chooses the married woman he's not entitled to.” Dean shoots back. "And I really can't stand the fact that you're always in the room with us even when you aren't there."

And who brings him into the room Dean hmmmmm????? Jk, jk (or am I). In this one Rio catches Dean out on the town with another woman (bc of course he is) and tries to call him out but whoops! gets called out himself. I really love the like, idk, undercurrent of wistful regret in this fic. I love Dean straight up calling Rio out on his feelings (spoilers but there’s an exchange right after this one that made me straight up holler), and, you know, obvs I am here for Rio making Dean feel like an ass. 

Hell Is Other People by makemanybraver

Rio: We're in Hell, Elizabeth! If you don't think you belong here, then repent! Don't fuck everyone in the room in hopes that you get to go out!

Beth: Why do I have to repent?!

Rio: Because you did some fucked up shit in your life, Elizabeth! You keep doing fucked up shit here, too! And you think you don't belong here!

Beth [screaming at the top of her lungs]: Because I don't!

This fic is existentially bonkers and I love it. It’s the kind of experimental format/homage/what have you kind of thing that I L O V E. Based on No Exit by Jean-Paul Sartre, Beth, Rio, and Fitzpatrick are stuck together in a room in hell for all eternity. What more do you need, honestly.

Working On Things by odenkirk

Unknown Hold up, Elizabeth. I'm really thinkin about you here.

Beth turned her face into the pillow, effectively suffocating herself for a moment, but thinking it was a good trade off for the way the cool silk of her pillowcase chilled her skin.

She lifted her head to glance at the still sleeping Dean before replying.

Beth I'm thinking about you too. But this can't happen.

She wanted him to know she wanted him, but she also thought that admitting she was already there would save Rio from trying to convince her. She wanted him, but morals had to win just once in a while.

YES this is technically Beth/Dean while also being Beth/Rio BUT it’s also sort of Rio/Dean and I am HERE FOR THE DIVERSITY OF SHIPPING leave me alone who asked you.

Five Times He Knew What She Was Thinking, and One Time He Didn't by JoeyLee

Aight, so tell ‘em I was hittin’ it. Said deliberately blunt, eyes locked on her face the whole time, just to see those blue eyes widen. She looked so shocked that he almost laughed, so he softened it teasingly just to keep her going. Oh, I’m sorry, sweetheart, tell ‘em we were makin’ love.

Then he just watched her, just watched her face, just fucking fascinated. Her lips were parted and her eyes were big as saucers, and…there it was. Before she could look away flustered, he watched the thought go through her mind. Him and her together.

He wondered what she was picturing or where. Them in the back seat, her bed, a motel?  Her on top or him from behind or his face between her legs?

Whatever it was, the blush started immediately, and he watched it bloom out from her cheeks to her hair. Then she was tearing her eyes away to gulp a little.  But it didn’t knock her down for long before she was looking back. And then, wait, was she actually asking him how to go about telling a fed they were fucking?

Okay this is another technical WIP but works as a standalone. I am absolutely fucking feral for character POV takes of canon scenes and this is a supremely excellent take on Rio POV of some notable scenes from the pilot through 204. Imo it brilliantly captures Rio’s voice and I love it a lot. 

HEADS UP I am absolute shite at tracking ao3 to tumblr unless people have specifically told me someone’s ao3/tumblr name SO if you recognize any of the non-tumblr authors on please lmk so I can tag them and YES I recognize that I am asking y’all to do things for me throughout this entire post and I’M SORRY OKAY I’M A WHOLE ASS MESS LOVE YOU BYE

[wordlessbabbling]

Gun Metal and Daisies (Thomas Shelby)- Chapter 11

If I cannot bend Heaven, I will raise Hell.

Masterlist

"Aphrodite," I plead to the moon drenched sky "Tell me; if love is meant to heal, then why does it destroy those who choose it?"

From somewhere beyond the clouds, I heard the Goddess laugh.

And I knew.

Saturday.

It had been two days since that day.

That awful day.

That wonderful day.

After Bubs - or, er - Thomas was all stitched up and talking again. They found themselves talking about everything and nothing. Dorothy thought back to that day and sighed: things did not end on a good note.

——

Thomas and Dorothy howled with laughter as Thomas re-told some childhood stories, mostly centred around his brothers antics as they got into God-knows-what.

After sobering up, Thomas thought back to her words earlier that evening.

"The man I've spent time with is Bubs. I've been naïve to think I knew him-."

Thomas also realised that he knew nothing of the girl other than the basic small talk things they had previously discussed.

"So where about are you based? I've never seen you 'round ole' Watery Lane before, eh?"

His question made her stiffen. The life at home that she'd forgotten about when she was with him came rushing back in a blur, all too familiar.

"Oh, that's nothing to worry about, Bubs." Dorothy's smile wasn't genuine but just a quip to get Thomas off her back so she wouldn't have to answer questions.

Seeing her stiffness, he decided that maybe the question could wait for another time; "so still Bubs, eh?" He nudged gently.

"Of course you are! Still my good friend Bubs." She smiled proudly.

Thomas' heart twanged at her words.

The light-hearted conversation moved on, at one point, Dorothy broke open a tin that had boiled sweets in them, Thomas recognised the sweets as the ones the lady down the market used to sell before she passed.

"She gave me the recipe for them when I told her I was baking sweets in the bakery, she said 'I always remember you youngins coming into ma shop and feastin' on ma boiled sweets! I always knew how you liked 'em!'"

Dorothy giggles at the accent and Thomas smiled fondly at the memory of the lady.

Thomas like he'd stated previously, never had a sweet tooth, especially not after the war; but he did indulge a bit in the boiled sweets he remembered so strongly from when he was young and wide-eyed.

The conversation carried on, Thomas spoke with as big gestures as he could manage with his injured shoulder. He talked about his brothers, his sister, his Aunt Pol. For a brief moment he even mentioned a memory he had of his mother. Dorothy felt like she knew them personally from the stories Thomas told.

Dorothy knew what happened in that home before the war. She did grow up on the same streets as the Shelby boys, albeit, she didn't hang around them, but she knew of them.

She knew that their mother died. She knew that their father left. She knew of the Gray children being taken away. She knew of all of it.

Thomas paused when he'd realised he'd been talking for fifteen minutes straight - more than he had in a long time - and looked at Dorothy intently.

"Well I think I've talked enough about my escapades and family; what about yours?"

Thomas knew she knew all of the things that had occurred in his boyhood, so he found it highly unfair that he didn't know any of hers.

Dorothy didn't smile at the question or shake her head like she usually did. Instead a frown placed its way on her face. Her hands which had been sitting in her lap previously were now dancing about. Her fingers in one hand danced around on the back of the other in her lap. Thomas noticed she did this when she got nervous. She'd done it that morning when his men had walked into the pub.

Thomas also frowned at the sight; he thought she would do what she did earlier and change the subject but instead, she only smiled a nervous smile.

She spoke of when she was young. She spoke of a time when she could eat at least one good meal a day. When she could still go down to the sweet shop. When she had full cheeks and a rosy face to match.

She didn't speak of home or her family. Thomas also noticed this but decided it good to let her talk of what she wanted.

"I remember actually when I was still in school - I was in Johns year, and one day at lunch, John kicked a ball and it hit me square in the face." Dorothy broke out into a fit of giggles.

"He didn't even notice, he just ran in, scooped the ball back up and ran back to you lot." Dorothy cringed at the memory.

"Yeah that sounds like John-boy."

Thomas continued, "So you're the same age as John, you went to the same school as we did, I must have come into contact with you at some point!"

Dorothy thought for a moment before clicking her fingers, "I think there was this one time! It was at the cut, I think. I was running around with friends, doing god-knows-what and I think you and Freddie Thorne were racing each other to the other side of the river, when one of my friends picked up Freddie's clothes and your shirt and ran off with them!" Dorothy roared with laughter as she trailed off at the end, trying to keep her giggles controlled.

"That was you!" Thomas could only gape at her.

"Well, technically it wasn't me, it was my friends, but sure." She shrugged and doubled over in laughter once again.

Thomas only shook his head at the memory. The two of them had got out, Freddie had to trek back down Watery Lane in only his shorts while Thomas had his suspenders on. Thomas got a right earful from Polly that night.

Thomas scowled a bit, but couldn't hold it at the sight of Dorothy clutching her belly with laughter.

Thomas thought that by asking her all these questions, he could get a bit further to the truth of who she was.

If Thomas was being honest with himself, he knew it would only take a bit of digging for him to work out who she was. But for some unknown reason to him, he decided that he liked the mysterious aura that came with this petite girl.

But despite all this; Thomas was tired of beating around the bush.

He slapped his hands on his thighs and stated, "right. Go on then. Let's hear who you are. I think it's only fair, don't you? Eh?" Thomas not so subtly inquired.

Dorothy's mood dropped.

She wasn't one to get angry, and she certainly wasn't angry, she didn't do angry. But she was definitely a little miffed right now.

She knew that if she told Bubs who she was, he'd look into her and see everything about her. He'd look into her home life and see pity. He'd look into her mind and see bells of warning that never stopped ringing. He'd look into her heart and determine that though, broken, it was unbearably full and for a man like Thomas Shelby, he wouldn't be comfortable with a heart like hers.

"Who are you to sit here and talk to me about being fair? Your whole business is built on the foundations of murder and petty lying. Don't talk to me about fair, Shelby."

Dorothy wasn't angry.

But it was in that moment she saw him, Thomas Shelby. She saw that killer in his eyes flash for a second then disappear.

Thomas' gaze softened when the impact of her words hit him.

It was then, he learnt another thing about Bonny. She was kind, but she wasn't weak.

Kindness is often mistaken for weakness and that is a mistake you don't want to make.

Kind people are not born that way, they do not stumble into it, kind people are forged in fire and darkness and imploding stars... they have steel cores. Throw a punch and you'll break your hand.

The devil runs when the good man goes to war.

Their silence lasted until Thomas heard his name being shouted in the streets. He didn't realise just how much time he'd spent in the bakery.

Dorothy sat in her chair. She felt guilty for her words, but she had no other way of keeping her name close to her heart. Thomas could read her like a book if he wanted to.

But unlike Thomas, she was not burdened with her name. She had no squander with the way people spoke her name.

So she kept it close to her heart.

Because it was then, she knew, that once Thomas Shelby had her name, her heart would surely follow, not far behind.

Thomas stared at her for another moment. He lifted himself out of his chair, groaning in slight pain which made Dorothy flinch.

He left the shop, the bell chiming loudly enough to shake the tension but not push it to leave.

But he left. Without so much as a goodbye.

Dorothy sat for another moment. She sighed and got to work with cleaning up.

——

So no. Thursday did not end on a good note.

But lucky for Dorothy, it was Clear-out day. So hopefully the people of the market, would surely keep her busy.

But never enough to distract her from the aching pain in her stomach as she thought of her friend.

——

Awww this one was kinda sad.

Well anyway, thank you for 300 reads! The support is crazy!

Thanks for the love.

Feedback and comments are wanted.

See ya next time!

[roboticonography]

I've always wondered, in FWNL, how Steve and Peggy part when she leaves to go to school, and what Steve thinks of Peggy forging a new path in a new world. Any insight you might have?

So I know that you sent this ask approximately a billion years ago, but here’s the thing: I liked this prompt a little too much.

Because in FWNL, Steve and Peggy leave things on an uncertain note when she leaves for school - in part because of everything that’s going on in Steve’s world that he can’t talk about.

But I couldn’t stop thinking of how they might have said goodbye, if things had been a little different. So here’s what I came up with, which is basically an AU of an AU.

=======

The Nearness of You

The night before she’s due to leave, Steve takes Peggy to a free movie night, at a park in his neighbourhood.

He knows a lot of people would give him low marks for being cheap and unoriginal, but the only person he wants to impress doesn’t seem to mind.

He meets her at the subway station, because she wants to try navigating on her own.

Right on time, she ascends the stairs, elegant, unhurried. Her simple wrap dress is the green of summer grass, with a pattern of sunny yellow flowers; her shoes and her handbag are the same glossy red as her lipstick. It’s a combination of colours that shouldn’t work, but on Peggy, it’s perfect.

When he asks if she had any trouble with the train, she arches an eyebrow and reminds him, “I used to live in Brooklyn, you know.”

And it’s true that she walks with the air of someone who belongs there. But then, she’s like that everywhere she goes—in stark contrast to Steve, who couldn’t blend in with a crowd if his life depended on it.

On the way over, they pass an ice cream shop that Steve has seen mentioned online. It’s supposed to be good, and the line inside is short; on a whim, he suggests a detour.

The place happens to be next door to a donut shop, and the two have conspired to make donut ice cream sandwiches.

Something Steve has always admired about Peggy is her enthusiasm for eating. Since her return, he’s been making mental lists of foods in the new century that he wants to introduce her to. A donut ice cream sandwich hasn’t been on his radar, until just this moment.

He watches Peggy spend almost a full minute ogling them in the freezer case before concluding, with a profoundly sad sigh, “I don’t think I could manage it.” It’s the same wistful look she used to have during the war, when talking about meat and milk and real chocolate, not the chalky clay tile issued by the army.

“Let’s split one,” he offers. “You pick.”

After further and even more intense deliberation, she selects a decadent red velvet cake donut, with a cream cheese ice cream centre.

They decide not to risk eating outside; the sun is going down, but the evening is still sultry, and neither of them are in the mood to race the clock. They find a table by the window.

Steve is so busy watching Peggy smooth the softening edges of the treat with her tongue that he lets his half melt down his arm all the way to his elbow.

He blows through their entire supply of napkins trying to wipe off the sticky mess.

He thinks she’s amused; it’s still a little hard to tell sometimes, but he’s gradually remembering how to read her face.

“Aw.” He frowns comically. “Now no one’s gonna want to hold my hand.” 

He means to be cute and flirty, but he can tell by the way her expression changes that he’s caught her off guard, maybe embarrassed her a little. 

Changing the subject quickly, he asks, “Are you all packed for your big trip?”

“Yes. It’s remarkably easy, when you don’t own anything. Which reminds me, I ought to give you back your books.”

“That’s okay. You hang onto them.”

She doesn’t look pleased. He thinks he knows why: she doesn’t like owing a debt.

“You might need some of them for school. I’ll get ‘em back the next time you’re in town,” he adds.

“All right.” She takes a bite of the ice cream sandwich and it falls apart in her hand, half of it dropping straight down the front of her dress. “Oh, hell.”

Steve goes to get more napkins.

“There’s really no dignified way to do this,” she observes, one hand delving into her décolletage. He catches an eyeful of milky skin and ivory lace before it occurs to him to look out the window instead of staring like a caveman.

“I like your dress,” he says, because things weren’t awkward enough already.

Peggy grins. “Now that I’ve drawn attention to its best feature?”

He grins back, but says only, “Green’s a nice colour on you.”

“Thank you.” She dabs delicately at her neckline. “I rather think so too.”

Another thing he’s always admired about Peggy: her way of accepting compliments by agreeing with them. As if she arrived at the same conclusion ages ago, and has just been waiting for everyone else to finally catch up.

*

When they get to the park, he sees couples unfolding colourful blankets or matching beach chairs, pulling out bags of snacks and bottles of water. He wishes he’d planned a little better. He has to settle for spreading his windbreaker on the ground so Peggy won’t get her dress dirty. There isn’t enough room on it for two of them, but that’s fine; after such a hot day, it’s nice to lean back on his elbows and stretch out in the cool grass.

The movie is an animated feature about the secret lives of toys. It seems good—people in the audience are laughing—but he’s completely lost. He spends all his time either gazing at Peggy, or looking blankly ahead with a keen awareness of her body beside his.

The sky above them fades into shadow.

He doesn’t realize he’s dozing off until Peggy gasps. He startles awake just in time to catch her face in profile, lit up, staring raptly at the screen. His heart feels weightless, suspended in his chest.

She turns, as if sensing his gaze. “Are you laughing at me?”

He tries, and fails, to wipe the dopey smile off his face. “No, ma’am.”

She fake-glares at him, nudging his knee with her elbow before turning back to the movie.

The next time he wakes, it’s because she’s shaking his shoulder gently.

He sits up, slightly groggy. The film’s end credits are rolling. People are packing up, chairs in hand, sleepy children on their shoulders.

He can’t believe he fell asleep in the middle of a date. He’s lucky she didn’t just go home and leave him there. 

He rubs his face briskly, trying to wake himself up. “Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize.” Her eyes and her mouth have gone very soft. “You must have needed a rest.”

There’s so much he wants to tell her, in that moment. But all he can do is nod. “How’d you like the movie?”

She smiles, cheeks dimpling. “Brilliant.”

He helps her to her feet, then scoops up his jacket. He’s about to put it on when she stops him with a hand on his arm.

“Hold still.” She bats at his back. “You look as though you’ve been rolling in the grass.”

“Sounds like fun.”

“It does.” Her hand slows, softens. “Under the right circumstances.”

Steve can’t think of anything appropriate to say to that.

They make their way to the edge of the park, walking slower than usual.

Her hand brushes his. He thinks it might be an accident, at first. The second time she does it, he takes hold of her fingers—loosely, giving her plenty of ease to slip away.

She steps closer, presses her palm firmly against his. 

They hold hands all the way to the entrance to the subway, where Peggy lets go to fish her fare card out of her handbag.

He offers to see her back to SHIELD.

“Don’t be ridiculous.” She’s clearly pleased. “It’s got to be out of your way.”

The truth is, his place is a five-minute walk from where they’re now standing. “Maybe a little,” he concedes.

“You can ride along until I have to transfer.”

“Deal.”

On the train, they sit shoulder to shoulder—at Steve’s size, it’s impossible not to. After a couple of stops, he drapes his arm over the back of Peggy’s seat. It’s mostly to give her more room, though of course that’s not the only reason. If it’s not okay, he’s sure she’ll let him know.

One more stop passes.

“We should do this again,” he suggests. “When you’re back in town.”

“I’ve no idea when that will be.”

“That’s okay. It’ll keep.” 

He’s not sure exactly what it refers to, but Peggy nods, as though what he’s just said makes perfect sense. 

And then she leans into his side, and they make the rest of the trip that way, quietly together.

In the station, the silence between them turns awkward. It’s a lousy place to say goodnight: it’s crowded, the air is humid and stale, and there’s a busking saxophonist whose enthusiasm far outstrips his technique.

Steve settles for a cavalier, “Text me when you get home, yeah?”

She gives a dramatic, full-body sigh. “Must I?”

He chuckles. “I don’t need a whole message. Just proof of life. An emoji is fine.”

“Is that the… smiley face thing?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“I’ll give it a go. But I won’t promise anything.”

As her train screeches its approach, he hugs her, one arm across her shoulders. She slides a hand around his waist, presses her face to his collarbone; her breath, through his shirt, is warm on his skin. Her hair is raw silk, and smells like springtime. His eyes are closed. He thinks hers are, too.

He doesn’t realize how long they’ve been holding one another until she pulls away, murmuring, “I’ll miss the train.”

Steve is afraid of what’s going to come out of his mouth if he opens it. So he just smiles, squeezes her hand once more, and lets her go.

After seeing her off, he takes the steps up to the street two at a time, and walks the eight miles home at a brisk clip. His heart is soaring. 

It won’t be easy to be apart, of course—but unlike during the war, there’s a timeframe, and an understanding between them. It’s easier to stay in touch. And it’s not like she’ll be on the other side of the world; she might even invite him to visit her, once she’s settled.

Her text arrives about an hour after he gets home. It consists solely and entirely of the letter S.

He waits, for several minutes, watching the typing indicator fade in and out of view. At last, the full message pops up: Safe and sound.

Get some rest, he writes back. Big day tomorrow.

He’s already put his phone back on the nightstand when it whistles again. No words—just a sleepy snoring face emoji.

To Steve, it feels like nothing short of a miracle.

[punkscowardschampions]

Ali & Ro

Ali: One of your kids is here??? Ro: Oh no! Ro: I double checked everyone was aware of the cancellations and everything Ali: You know what people are like, probably received but didn't actually read/listen to the message, like Ali: I'll quickly get in before ma can be her charming self any harder Ro: Thank you Ali: [allow time for that] Ali: Done Ali: Why'd you have to cancel anyway? Ro: Sadly I have yet to master being able to be in two places at once, especially when one of those places is so ridiculously far away Ro: What's more surprising though is that you've remained at home for long enough shepherd my pupil in and out for me without assumedly cursing Tess Ali: Ugh, I feel that Ali: until we're blessed with time-turners, we'll all have to muddle through Ali: and I've been there enough myself to guess where you are, so I won't pout about any potential adventures you could've been on Ali: everyone is DOA and MIA today, plus if I let her shout at me for long enough she might not ground me forever 🤞 Ro: Indeed Ro: Well, I can't deny that would be very much appreciated as I've been subjected to plenty of pouting already as things stand Ro: You can let her know that I'll be making my grand return soon enough which will at the very least give her another target should she desire one Ali: You can probably ignore him, he's just feeling the ill-effects of a 3-day bender, like Ali: some hydration and vitamin c and he'll be over it Ali: can't say the same of mother but my sins definitely outweigh yours Ali: though the offer is appreciated 💚 Ro: He's very much fine in that regard I'd been assured prior to my arrival and of course did my part to truly make it so by making him a late lunch or early dinner once I got there Ro: Regrettably, that offer was taken very much not in the manner it was intended Ro: The tally of my sins therefore apparently exceed the number of yours, in Drew's eyes at any rate Ali: Sounds like Drew Ali: you spoil him Ali: Caleb's mum made him work today, as he was too sick for school Ro: All I've spoilt is his afternoon seemingly Ro: Yet again, I'm a waste of time Ali: Hey Ali: don't take on his bad mood just 'cos he's mad he didn't get what he wanted Ali: you know it's bullshit Ro: None of his grievances are unfounded Ro: I shouldn't break promises Ro: Even if I did make them for less than ideal reasons Ali: No, but you know Ali: you have those reasons regardless Ro: And he has his own reasons to be upset Ali: Which you're clearly giving a fuck about Ali: so he owes you the same in return, yeah Ro: Of course, but his anger is fuelled by how much he does care, obviously Ro: It's because he likes me so much that he wants to take things further than they are Ali: Partly Ali: but I don't think anyone can say that that's all it is Ali: not to discredit how he feels in any way Ali: if anything, it takes into consideration all aspects Ro: He is the only one who can address that with any degree of clarity but its a conversation we're unlikely to have for a while Ali: I'm sure it won't be anything like that long Ro: That almost sounds as if you are in fact discrediting how he feels but I have no desire to get into a disagreement with you about the one I just had with him Ali: No, I'm saying he's nothing if not persistent Ali: trust me, he'll get over it if he has any sense Ro: It's less about the sense he possesses and more about the degree to which my own has abandoned me Ali: Do you regret the fact you didn't or regret the fact you were considering it? Ro: Both regrets somehow exist side by side and I have no idea how that can be Ro: Or which of the many internal voices vocalising my many mistakes I should begin to listen to Ali: Sounds about right Ali: are you in love with him? Ro: Yes Ali: Yeah Ali: it's Ali: the worst kind of headfuck Ali: amongst many other things Ro: What would you do in my place? Ali: About what Ali: specifically Ro: My next move Ro: He says I won't lose him but I know it's more likely than not Ro: Especially now that Carly has her own caravan to host in Ali: You shouldn't do it if that's the only reason why Ali: doing it because you're fearful of any outcome is just a bad idea Ali: it should always be primarily that you want to Ro: I do want to but I also don't want to Ro: It's complicated Ali: It is Ali: it might stop being complicated Ali: or you might do it before it does Ali: either of those is fine and valid Ro: What if it doesn't and I can't? Ali: You will Ali: if you want to, then you will Ali: I said it was the most important factor but definitely not the only, not even close Ali: it's complex but you know, like most things, stressing upon it will never make it less so Ro: I suppose Ali: It's like all this stuff isn't it Ali: thinking you'll never get your period and then it just happens Ali: we've all got our own pace for all of it Ro: And my pace is several steps behind always Ro: Maybe next time I should just go to the party Ali: Well his is coming up so Ali: you will be at that one Ro: Oh my god, don't remind me I haven't even begun brainstorming gifts yet Ali: 😂 Ali: you do have time Ali: but it might distract you from this worry so have at it Ro: You're so fortunate that Caleb's is ages away Ali: I know Ali: so much of me cannot hack that, I'd actually die Ro: After emerging from Carly's mostly unscathed, you could be forgiven for believing yourself immortal, I'm sure Ali: It was pretty hectic Ali: not sure if I'd say life-threateningly so but keep that between us Ali: could tell ma though Ali: keep her from hysteria Ro: I'll use that as my conversational opener when I come in if you'd like Ali: Subtle, cheers Ali: tell her there were no recreational drugs or pre-maritial relations too, whilst you're at it Ro: Carly would appreciate the lack of, I'm certain Ro: More so than Tess would my attempts at such a clearly crafted lie Ali: Can't win with her, like Ali: don't lead with that though Ali: even if that's a truth Ro: It's the kind of day I'm having Ro: I'll simply wish on everything possible that the losses extend to calories as well Ali: Don't waste the magic Ali: I know you skipped lunch Ro: You know because I told you I was busy running around after Drew Ali: Exactly Ro: Nonetheless, I've spent more time on this bus than anything else Ro: It's a pity I can't transfigure my bike here Ali: it seems like a good idea until it starts chucking it down halfway Ro: True, I'd be unlikely to garner any sympathy or permission for more time off from Tess even if I caught my death Ali: Seriously Ali: if she has to see any of us tomorrow at all, she might actually lose it completely Ali: what with Bea and Fraze being their delightful selves all weekend too Ali: the only ones not on the shit list rn are Tommy and Joe and that's only through absence Ro: Precisely Ro: Much like how the idea of finding birthday gifts for Drew is favorable after the nightmarish pursuit we all have to endure in order to provide something that Bea will undoubtedly dislike and return where possible Ali: 😂 s'why I kick it homemade Ali: good luck finding any takers for my sentimental tat, babe Ali: bless Ro: Alas the memory of my childish homemade cards finding their way to the recycling bin earlier than I feel necessary haunts me still Ro: Did Carly like what you made for her though? Ali: 😞 Ali: Yes, thankfully she's far more receptive and forthcoming with her thanks Ali: and the caravan looks amazing Ali: looked, I HOPE everyone kept out Ro: It would be difficult for her not to be, Bea, of course, is without competition in that regard Ro: I was impressed by the pictures despite being well aware of your artistic eye and resourcefulness in gathering materials Ro: Perhaps you should take and utilise all the magic yourself immediately Ro: Protection spells have been employed and succeeded for less Ali: True Ali: and a good idea to boot Ali: I better do it remotely Ali: aside from me leaving the house for anything but school and work rn being a deathwish, I'm not sure of the state I'd find the residents in, like Ro: Hm, yes arguably that is an even better idea Ali: Obviously, I do not plan to be her prisoner for long Ali: but for a great escape, I need even greater plans on the outside Ro: It would be my pleasure to extend such an offer, dear sister, but my own flight of fancy earlier did little else but backfire so it's best I stay under lock and key until I feel suitably chastised Ro: Either by Tess or myself Ali: Self-flagellation is next to godliness, of course Ali: I'll think of something Ro: I have no doubt that you will Ro: But whilst the subject of faltering has been raised, can I ask you something? Ali: of course Ali: scientia potentia est Ro: I was just wondering if you spent much time with Drew this weekend, that's all Ali: Not a huge amount Ali: but I saw him about, doing his thing Ali: if I saw anything like that I would've kicked his arse and told you Ali: in that exact order Ro: Okay Ro: Well, thank you Ali: Of course Ali: sisterhood before everything Ali: especially boys Ro: My favorite religion and the one to which I've been devoted to for the longest and most faithfully Ali: 💚 Ali: What's your ETA? Ro: 13 and a half minutes Ali: Ooh precise Ali: that'll please the jailer Ali: tell her 15 and you'll be back in the good books when you're arse is up the table without her even having to shout up the stairs Ali: 👍 Ro: I already told her 21 minutes so I have enough time to fix my face somewhere that isn't a very full bus Ro: She doesn't need to know that I've been crying Ali: 😕 Ali: Cold water fixes all Ali: we can talk about it properly after Ali: feels like forever Ro: It's not too late to pray for a summer storm Ro: Though it seems everyone misses me until they get the opportunity to spend time with me, so I might be wise to adjust my prayers accordingly actually Ali: Not everyone Ali: just him Ali: and just because he's mad Ali: we'll tea and talk, promise Ro: As long as you share too Ali: I gotcha Ali: you wanna hear all the fantastical and sordid exploits Ro: Fantastical yes, sordid not so much Ali: 😂 Ali: I'll do my best to spin the yarn into something comfortable and befitting Ali: don't worry Ro: Being guaranteed one less thing to overthink about will forever be appreciated Ali: That's my job Ali: one of Ali: labour of love, really Ro: tá mé i ngrá leat freisin Ali: 💚💚💚 Ali: right, I got a table to set Ali: not gonna know what's hit her Ali: Rock even agreed not to throw any spaghetti up the wall Ali: providing I buy him sweets for a week Ro: I'm in awe of your power whether or not she will be Ali: whether a six-year-old can stick to a deal is another thing Ali: did threaten him with a broken pinkie so 🤞 Ro: I'll likewise threaten him with the type of hex befitting a 6 year old promise breaker if needs be Ali: 💀🐸🐀🕯🥀💀 Ro: Our minds have always worked in similar ways, that's a truth which deserves to be universally acknowledged Ro: But for now, go Ro: There will be plenty of time for talking later