#i go to an evil university for supervillains myself and i gotta say. no one institution is capable of this

[visenyaism]

asoiaf tiktok fucks actually. The maesters invented misogyny, personally murdered every Targaryen and all the dragons, and glass candle havana syndrome is 100% real. this post was fact checked by real valyrian patriots

[astercontrol]

Superhero with the power of traveling between alternate universes, but she won't use her power for either good or evil

because she doesn't care. There is only one thing she really cares about

(being an obsessively hyperfixated autistic fan of the 1982 cult classic TRON movie, who knows every detail of every draft of the scripts and decisions that went into changing them)

Which is why she only uses her power to travel to other universes where TRON was made differently, and watch the movie in each one of them

any other ways these universes are different from her own? Irrelevant. They are only different obstacles to the ultimate goal of watching TRON

she is resourceful, she can figure out a way to overcome any of them... but only for that one goal.

oh? this world is under global dictatorship by fashion designers and you will be stopped and imprisoned if you are out on public streets not wearing the Latest Look? ....Ok but... it still has Tron, right? ....Fine, I'll do whatever it takes to break outta prison and get me some acceptable clothes, just make sure they'll last long enough to find a place I can see TRON and then I'll leave

Oh people have gills and live underwater in this universe. Hmm. Their version of TRON must be pretty interesting. I will put just enough effort into figuring out how to either get scuba gear or grow gills, so that I can get myself to an underwater theater showing TRON

this world is exactly the same except watching TRON is deemed the worst crime possible and all of law enforcement's first priority is to stop people from watching TRON. Heads up programs, I'm about to become the most wanted criminal! ....but it's all okay because my plan gives me plenty of time to watch the whole thing before I gotta go on the run and hop universes again

Eventually the space-time-continuum preservation society clocks her, and realizes her single-minded dedication is so intense, she is capable of doing more damage to a world in pursuit of the local copy of TRON than other universe-hopping supervillains have done with the express goal of destroying worlds

they have to develop a whole subcommittee dedicated to intercepting her at arrival and saying, "we know about you, we have made a treaty with the local people, they've given us this DVD to give you, now please please leave"

she is generally okay with this (as long as the DVD has sufficient behind-the-scenes extras to give context on why things were done the way they were)

[setepenre-set]

Soundtrack for Megamind the Musical

lyrics:

Things Could Be Worse

MEGAMIND’S MOTHER: WE’VE ONLY MOMENTS LEFT UNTIL—

MEGAMIND’S FATHER: —THE SUN GOES SUPERNOVA; STILL—

BOTH: MY SON AT LEAST YOU’LL HAVE A CHANCE TO LIVE

MEGAMIND’S MOTHER: AND AS YOU GO INTO THE GREAT UNKNOWN I PROMISE YOU WON’T BE ALONE—

Here is your Minion. He will take care of you.

FATHER: And here is your binky. (he places glowing blue binky in escape pod.)

BOTH: THINGS COULD BE WORSE THINGS COULD BE SO MUCH WORSE OUR SON, AT LEAST, WILL LIVE THANK THE MERCY OF THE UNIVERSE

WE’VE ONLY MOMENTS LEFT, IT’S TRUE BUT AT LEAST WE’RE SPENDING THEM WITH YOU

(baby Megamind cries.)

MOTHER: Oh, my love; shhh. DON’T YOU CRY ANY MORE

FATHER: MY SON, YOU ARE DESTINED FOR—

MEGAMIND: I didn’t quite hear that last part. But it sounded important. Destined for—what?

CITIZENS: THINGS COULD BE WORSE THINGS COULD BE SO MUCH WORSE YOU BETTER REMEMBER THAT SAY THANK YOU TO THE UNIVERSE

TRUE, A BLACK HOLE HAS CRUSHED EVERYTHING YOU LOVED TO DUST BUT IT COULD BE WORSE THINGS COULD BE WORSE

MEGAMIND: I set out to find my destiny!

CITIZENS: OH NOW DARLING DON’T YOU CRY OR YOU’LL GET SOMETHING TO CRY ABOUT THINK OF THIS AS A CHANCE TO LEARN ALL THE THINGS THAT YOU CAN DO WITHOUT

IT’S NOT THE END OF THE WORLD IT’S JUST THE END OF THE WORLD THINGS COULD BE WORSE THEY’RE GONNA GET WORSE

MEGAMIND: Turns out a kid from the Glaupunkt Quadrant had the exact same idea as me. That was the day I met Mr. Goody-Two-Shoes. And our glorious rivalry was born!

Was this what I was destined for? A dream life, filled with luxury? Apparently not! Even fate picks its favorites. No big deal.

CITIZENS: IT COULD BE WORSE IT COULD BE SO MUCH WORSE TRY TO REMEMBER THIS WHEN YOU FEEL YOU HAVE BEEN CURSED

OH NOW DARLING DON’T YOU CRY OR YOU’LL GET SOMETHING TO CRY ABOUT THINK OF THIS AS A CHANCE TO LEARN ALL THE THINGS THAT YOU CAN DO WITHOUT

YOU’LL GROW UP BEHIND PRISON BARS BUT YOU SHOULD THANK YOUR LUCKY STARS BECAUSE THINGS COULD BE WORSE THINGS ARE GONNA GET WORSE

MEGAMIND: After a few years, and with some time off for good behavior, I was given an opportunity to better myself through learning at a strange place called shool.

It was there that I once again ran into Mr. Goody-Two-Shoes.

He had already amassed a gigantic army of soft-headed groupies. He bought their affections with showmanship and extravagant displays of his power. So I, too, would show off my special talents and win over those mindless drones!

That’s when I learned a very hard lesson. Good receives all the praise and adulation, while evil is sent to quiet time in the corner. So fitting in wasn’t really an option.

CHORUS: IT COULD BE WORSE IT COULD BE SO MUCH WORSE TRY TO REMEMBER THIS WHEN YOU FEEL YOU HAVE BEEN CURSED

MEGAMIND: Some days, it felt like it was just me and Minion against the world.

CHORUS: YOU HAVE ONE FRIEND IN THE WORLD SO IT’S NOT THE END OF THE WORLD IT COULD BE WORSE IT COULD BE WORSE

MEGAMIND: While they were learning the Itsy Bitsy Spider, I learned how to dehydrate animate objects and rehydrate them at will!

No matter how hard I tried, I was always the odd man out.

The last one picked. The screw up, the black sheep…

STUDENT ONE: Freak!

STUDENT TWO: Weirdo!

METRO BOY: Get him!

MEGAMIND: The bad boy.

CITIZENS: OH NOW DARLING DON’T YOU CRY OR YOU’LL GET SOMETHING TO CRY ABOUT THINK OF THIS AS A CHANCE TO LEARN ALL THE THINGS THAT YOU CAN DO WITHOUT

IT’S NOT THE END OF THE WORLD YOU DON’T FIT IN THIS WORLD

MEGAMIND: Was this my destiny?

YOUNG MEGAMIND: Being bad is the one thing I’m good at.

MEGAMIND: If I was the bad boy, then I was going to be the baddest boy of them all!

YOUNG MEGAMIND: I CAN BE WORSE I CAN BE SO MUCH WORSE I CAN BE THE BADDEST THING IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE

MEGAMIND & YOUNG MEGAMIND: OH, YOU THINK THAT I’M BAD NOW? I AM GONNA SHOW YOU HOW I CAN BE WORSE I’M GONNA BE WORSE

MEGAMIND: I was destined to be a supervillain! And we were destined to be rivals!

And so began an enduring, epic, lifelong career. And I loved it! Our battles quickly got more elaborate. He would win some. I would almost win others! He took the name Metro Man: Defender of Metrocity.

I decided to pick something a little more humble.

Megamind! Incredibly handsome criminal genius and master of all villainy!

CITIZENS: THINGS COULD BE WORSE THINGS COULD BE SO MUCH WORSE YOU BETTER REMEMBER THAT SAY THANK YOU TO THE UNIVERSE

YOU’VE FINALLY FOUND YOUR PLACE

MEGAMIND: True, it’s getting punched in the face.

CITIZENS: BUT THINGS COULD BE WORSE THINGS COULD BE WORSE

MEGAMIND: Yes, things could certainly be a lot worse!

Oh, that’s right. I’m falling to my death. Guess they can’t.

I’m So Bad

MEGAMIND: THE EVIL PLOT IS RIGHT ON SCHEDULE I COULD JUST EVIL LAUGH WITH JOY LOOK OUT NOW, METROCITY! I PLAN TO BE A BAD, BAD BOY

GONNA SHOW OFF MY TRUE COLORS LET MY FIENDISH BRILLIANCE SHINE I’M MEGAMIND, THE EVIL GENIUS! AND SOON THIS CITY WILL BE MINE!

BECAUSE I’M BAD, BABY I’M THE BADDEST THING IN TOWN AND I AM GOOD AT IT AND METRO MAN IS GOING DOWN!

I’LL ALWAYS BE A VILLAIN What can I say; it’s just a gift! OH, I’M SO BAD AND EVIL—

MINION: Well, hello, good looking; need a lift?

MEGAMIND: Certainly do you fantastic fish, you!

MINION: Get in the invisible car, you!

MEGAMIND: OH, I AM BAD, BABY THE BADDEST THING YOU’VE EVER SEEN MY HEART IS BLACK AND WICKED AND I’M SO HORRIBLE AND MEAN!

Nice work sending me the disguise watch, Minion!

MINION: You got it, Sir!

MEGAMIND: Ah, there’s no place like evil lair!

MINION: Oh, the brainbots certainly missed you, Sir!

(Brainbots make ‘bowg’ noises of enthusiasm.)

MEGAMIND: Did you miss your daddy? Who’s a menacing little cyborg? You are; yes you are!

OH, I’M SO BAD, BABY PEOPLE SEE ME AND THEY RUN THEY KNOW I’M MEAN AND NASTY OH, BEING EVIL’S SO MUCH FUN! (The Brainbots bring him his cape and help him into it.) Ah, my cape! How do I look, Minion? Do I look bad?

MINION: Disgustingly horrifying, Sir!

MEGAMIND: You always know what to say!

IT’S GOOD TO BE BAD, MINION! TIME TO UNVEIL THE EVIL PLAN

MINION: This one’s sure to work, Sir!

MEGAMIND: AND WE WILL DEFEAT METRO MAN! (Roxanne stirs and begins to wake.) Ah, she’s awake! Places! Places!

IT’S SUCH A GOOD BAD FEELING WHEN THE CROWD’S CURSING YOUR NAME

I KNOW I MIGHT BE INFAMOUS BUT INFAMY’S STILL FAME! (Brainbot pulls bag from Roxanne’s head; all Brainbots exit.) Miss Ritchi! We meet again!

ROXANNE: Would it kill you to wash the bag?

MEGAMIND: You can scream all you wish, Miss Ritchi! I’m afraid no one can hear you! (pause) Why isn’t she screaming?

MINION: Miss Ritchi; if you wouldn’t mind.

MEGAMIND: Like this! (screams)

I’M SO BAD, BABY LET ME HEAR THOSE FRIGHTENED PLEAS I’M JUST THE SUPERVILLAIN TO BRING THIS CITY TO ITS KNEES

Except, of course, for you, Miss Ritchi. As my evil queen, you will, obviously, be exempt from any shows of obedience required from the ordinary populace.

ROXANNE: Ugh, the evil queen joke is getting really old.

MEGAMIND: It’s not—

ROXANNE: Almost as old as this bag.

MEGAMIND: Again with the bag?! You don’t seem to be taking all of this seriously!

DON’T YOU KNOW THAT I AM BAD, MISS RITCHI? CAN’T YOU SEE THE PERIL YOU ARE IN? MY EVIL PLAN’S COMPLETE NOW AND THIS TIME I WILL WIN!

COME ON AND SCREAM FOR ME LET ME HEAR YOU SHRIEK WITH FEAR! (silence) I SAID SCREAM FOR ME! (Minion screams quietly.) That’s what I like to hear!

I’LL ALWAYS BE A VILLAIN THE BADDEST VILLAIN OF THEM ALL I’M GOOD AT BEING EVIL

Today Metrocity will fall!

Better Than This

MEGAMIND: I’VE GOTTA DO

MEGAMIND & ROXANNE: BETTER THAN THIS

ROXANNE: DON’T YOU KNOW YOU’RE

MEGAMIND & ROXANNE: BETTER THAN THIS PUT THAT GIANT BLUE HEAD TO GOOD USE COME ON, MEGAMIND; JUST THINK—

MEGAMIND: BUT SHE’S SO BRILLIANTLY SMART

ROXANNE: YOU’RE SO SMART

MEGAMIND: DON’T EVEN KNOW HOW TO START

ROXANNE: DON’T YOU KNOW THAT

MEGAMIND: A HEROINE LIKE HER DESERVES THE VERY BEST IN VILLAINY BUT ALL THE THINGS THAT SHE’S SEEN

ROXANNE: YEAH, I’VE SEEN THAT

MEGAMIND: EVERY EVIL MACHINE

ROXANNE: STILL NOT SCARY

MEGAMIND: MY INVENTIONS AND MY GADGETS; NONE OF IT’S BAD ENOUGH FOR HER

I’VE GOT FLAMETHROWERS AND SAWS

ROXANNE: SAW THAT LAST TIME

MEGAMIND: AND I’M GRASPING AT STAWS

ROXANNE: I THINK IT’S PAST TIME TO GET OUT OF THAT DEATHTRAP THAT YOU’VE LOCKED YOURSELF INSIDE IT IS SO VERY CLEAR

MEGAMIND: IT’S SO CLEAR

ROXANNE: I DON’T FEEL ANY FEAR

MEGAMIND: I’M A FAILURE

MEGAMIND & ROXANNE: AND I KNOW I’M NOT AS SMART AS YOU, BUT EVEN I CAN SEE

SOMEONE AS AMAZING AS YOU DESERVES BETTER AND NEW AND I WISH THAT I COULD TELL YOU BUT YOU DON’T CARE WHAT I THINK

STILL, I PROMISE I KNOW THE TRUTH UNDER THE SHOW

MEGAMIND: GOTTA DO BETTER

ROXANNE: DON’T YOU KNOW THAT YOU’RE BETTER

MEGAMIND: BUT MY PHASERS DON’T PHASE HER THE SPIKES AND THE LASERS I’VE GOTTA DO BETTER

ROXANNE: DON’T YOU KNOW

MEGAMIND: OH, I KNOW

ROXANNE: YOU DESERVE

MEGAMIND: YOU DESERVE

MEGAMIND & ROXANNE: YOU DESERVE SO MUCH BETTER THAN THIS

Metro Man

METRO MAN: Yeah, Metro City! Look at this great museum! I’m—

CITIZENS: METRO MAN; METRO MAN HE’S BRAVE AND STRONG; CAN DO NO WRONG OUR HERO, METRO MAN!

METRO MAN: Hey-hey! Thanks I’m—

CITIZENS: METRO MAN; METRO MAN HE’S ATHLETIC, ENERGETIC THANK YOU SO MUCH, METRO MAN!

METRO MAN: You’re welcome, Metro City! You know, I’ve been—

CITIZENS: METRO MAN

METRO MAN: —for a long—

CITIZENS: METRO MAN

METRO MAN: —time now, and—

CITIZENS: HE’S COURAGEOUS; HERE TO SAVE US

METRO MAN: Like, a really long time, now—

CITIZENS: HE IS CONSTANTLY ON CALL

METRO MAN: —so I guess what—

CITIZENS: METRO MAN

METRO MAN: —what I’m trying—

CITIZENS: METRO MAN

METRO MAN: —trying to say is—

CITIZENS: HE’S PERPETUALLY ON DUTY AND NO PROBLEM IS TOO SMALL

METRO MAN: —I—

CITIZENS: METRO MAN; METRO MAN OUR DEPENDABLE DEFENDER THREE CHEERS FOR METRO MAN!

Piece of the Action

HOT FLASH: GOTTA GET A PIECE OF THE ACTION GOTTA GET A PIECE OF THE PIE JUST DESERTS AND SATISFACTION GET ROXANNE RITCHI, AND THEN IT’S

HOT FLASH & LADY DOPPLER: GOODBYE

LADY DOPPLER: TO PLAYING SECOND FIDDLE TO A BLUE FREAK WITH A GIANT HEAD WE’RE GONNA CHANGE THE MUSIC MAKE HIM DANCE TO OUR TUNE INSTEAD

PSYCHO DELIC: THE TIME’S RIPE FOR A CHANGE NOW DOOM SYNDICATE IS ON THE RISE GONNA GET SOME OF THAT FAME AND FORTUNE MEGAMIND’S IN FOR A SURPRISE

DESTRUCTION WORKER: GOTTA GET A PIECE OF THE ACTION GET OUR FAIR SHARE OF THE LOOT GONNA SEIZE CONTROL NOW GRIND THIS CITY BENEATH OUR BOOT

ALL: GOTTA GET A PIECE OF THE ACTION THIS CITY’S OURS TO TAKE GOTTA GET A PIECE OF THE ACTION

HOT FLASH: THIS IS GONNA BE A PIECE OF CAKE

ALL: GOTTA GET A PIECE OF THE ACTION RESPECT AND POWER WE REQUIRE

HOT FLASH: You know, I’ve really been thinking—it’s time for the Overlord to retire.

Anyone Can Be A Hero

ROXANNE: Yeah! I mean, it’s like they say—heroes aren’t born; they’re made.

MEGAMIND: …heroes can be made. (Music for ANYONE CAN BE A HERO begins as they each get an idea)

MEGAMIND & ROXANNE: That’s it!

MEGAMIND: IT’S SO SIMPLE

ROXANNE: IT’S SO SIMPLE

MEGAMIND & ROXANNE:  SO VERY SIMPLE

MY EYES HAVE BEEN UNCLOUDED AND I’M SUDDENLY SO SURE

MY THOUGHTS WERE LOST IN ENDLESS DARKNESS BUT YOU’VE LIT MY MIND ON FIRE AND NOW IT’S WORKING BETTER THAN IT EVER HAS BEFORE

ANYONE CAN BE A HERO ANYONE CAN SAVE THE DAY I WAS LOST, ALONE, IN DARKNESS BUT NOW I REALLY THINK THAT I CAN FINALLY SEE MY WAY

MEGAMIND: Heroes can be made! All you need are the right ingredients!

ROXANNE: Yeah! Bravery—

MEGAMIND: Yes!

ROXANNE: Strength!

MEGAMIND: Of course!

ROXANNE: Determination!

MEGAMIND: Imperative!

AND JUST A LITTLE SMIDGEN OF THE FORMER HERO’S DNA

I’LL MAKE A HERO

ROXANNE: I’LL BE A HERO

MEGAMIND & ROXANNE: MY OWN HERO

ROXANNE: SOMEONE HAS TO STOP HIM AND THAT SOMEBODY IS ME

MEGAMIND: What?

ROXANNE: ANYONE CAN BE A HERO EVEN SOMEBODY LIKE ME THERE’S DARK AND EVIL ALL AROUND US BUT I CAN BE THE LIGHT OF CHANGE AND SET THE CITY FREE

MEGAMIND: Yes!

ROXANNE: I CAN DO IT

MEGAMIND: YOU CAN DO IT

ROXANNE: I CAN— You—you really think so?

MEGAMIND: Of course you can, Roxanne!

ROXANNE: I CAN DO IT

MEGAMIND: YOU CAN DO IT

ROXANNE: I CAN BE A HERO

MEGAMIND: BE A HERO

THE DAMSEL IN DISTRESS BECOMES THE HERO THAT I NEED I WAS FEELING LIKE A FAILURE BUT WITH A HERO LIKE ROXANNE MY PLAN CANNOT HELP BUT SUCCEED

ROXANNE: I’ll find out what Megamind is up to—

MEGAMIND: —I should have most of the equipment already in the Lair—

ROXANNE: —I’ll figure out how to stop him—

MEGAMIND: —I’ll start work on the formula tonight!

ANYONE CAN BE A HERO ESPECIALLY SOMEONE LIKE YOU BRAVE AND SMART AND SO DETERMINED YOU’RE A HERO THROUGH AND THROUGH

MEGAMIND & ROXANNE: ANYONE CAN BE A HERO ANYONE CAN HEED THE CALL I WAS LOST, ALONE, IN DARKNESS BUT NOW YOU’VE SHOWN ME THE LIGHT AND I’M NOT LOST AT ALL

ROXANNE: IT’S SO SIMPLE

MEGAMIND: YOU CAN DO IT

ROXANNE: I CAN BE A HERO

MEGAMIND: THE PERFECT PLAN

ROXANNE: I CAN DO IT

MEGAMIND: THE CITY’S HERO

ROXANNE: I’LL BE A HERO

MEGAMIND & ROXANNE: MY OWN HERO

ANYONE CAN BE A HERO ANYONE CAN BE A HERO ANYONE CAN

Nice Guy

HAL:

Can she seriously not take a hint? I mean, how many times do I have to ask her out before she gets it? What, is she really still hung up on stupid Metro Man? Yeah, okay, he died, and it was like, sad and whatever. But come on! It is soooo obvious that I’m the one she should have been with all along!

WHY DO HOT GIRLS ONLY LIKE JERK DUDES I’VE PUT IN THE WORK, DUDE I’VE BEEN, LIKE, A GOOD FRIEND

COME ON ROXAROO HAVEN’T I BEEN THERE FOR YOU? NO ONE ELSE CARES FOR YOU LIKE ME

‘CAUSE I’M A NICE GUY NICEST GUY YOU’VE EVER KNOWN BUT I’M IN THE FRIENDZONE WHY CAN’T YOU COMPREHEND

WE ARE MEANT TO BE YOU ARE MEANT TO BE WITH ME COME ON ROXY CAN’T YOU SEE YOU’RE MINE

‘CAUSE I’M A NICE GUY AND I’VE SHOWED IT SO I’D SAY I’M OWED IT AND I’M GETTING TIRED OF THE WAIT

MILADY’S A COQUETTE STOP PLAYING HARD TO GET IT’S TIME TO PAY THE DEBT YOU OWE

YEAH, I’M A NICE GUY NICEST GUY YOU’VE EVER KNOWN BEEN IN THE FRIENDZONE I’D SAY I DESERVE AT LEAST A DATE

I’M SO STEADFAST I’VE ASKED AND ASKED AND ASKED BUT NICE GUYS FINISH LAST ALWAYS

AND I’M A NICE GUY SUCH A NICE GUY THAT HAS TO BE WHY ‘CAUSE I’M A NICE GUY WELL, ROXY MAYBE I SHOULD STOP BEING NICE—

Oh, I’m totally kidding; totally kidding! I would never do that!

‘CAUSE I’M A NICE GUY

Going To Go Wrong

MINION: Oh, I don’t like this. I don’t like this at all. Why in the world does Sir even need a hero? It doesn’t make any sense!

MEGAMIND (as Space Dad): The flames of my evil burn bright! Now you say something cool back at me.

HAL: You…bad! Aaaraaaghhhh!

MINION: THIS IS SUCH A BAD IDEA AN INESCAPABLY BAD PLAN

HAL: Smash! Smash! Smash!

MINION: I CAN’T SEE HIM AS A HERO, SIR AND REALLY I CANNOT SEE HOW YOU CAN

IT’S GOING TO GO WRONG

MEGAMIND: Can’t wait—LOL—smiley face!

MINION: IT’S GOING TO GO WRONG

MEGAMIND: THINGS ARE GOING RIGHT THINGS ARE GOING RIGHT FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE I REALLY FEEL THE FUTURE’S GOING TO BE BRIGHT

THINGS ARE GOING RIGHT Oh, what fun!

ROXANNE: You don’t get out much, do you? I used to come here with my mother when I was a kid. It was one of my favorite things to do. Now look at it. It’s a dump.

MINION: IT’S GOING TO GO WRONG IT’S GOING TO GO WRONG BUT SIR HAS GOT ONE OF HIS BRIGHT IDEAS SO EVERYONE HAS GOT TO PLAY ALONG

IT’S GOING TO GO WRONG Why are we cleaning up the city, Sir?

MEGAMIND: Well, we don’t want to battle our new hero in a dump, now, do we?

ROXANNE: It’s clean! But how? Why?

MEGAMIND: Maybe Megamind isn’t so bad after all.

THIS WAS SUCH A GOOD IDEA

MINION: THIS IS SUCH A BAD IDEA

MEGAMIND: I’M SO GLAD I CHANGED THE PLAN

MINION: AN INESCAPABLY BAD PLAN

MEGAMIND: FATE GAVE ME A DIFFERENT PATH AND NOW I’M HERE AND PARTNERS WITH ROXANNE

MINION: IT’S GOING TO GO WRONG DISASTER’S LOOMING NEAR AND THE ONLY THING TO HOPE FOR IS IT DOESN’T GO AS BADLY AS I FEAR

IT’S GOING TO GO WRONG

MEGAMIND: Oh, that was such a funny story! And brilliantly told, by the way. Okay, now you tell one!

ROXANNE: Bernard, I never knew you were so funny!

MEGAMIND: And—I never heard you laugh before.

ROXANNE: Yeah, it’s been a while. Feels pretty good.

THINGS ARE GOING RIGHT I’M SO GLAD TO HAVE YOU HERE I HAVEN’T QUITE GOT THIS DECIPHERED YET BUT I HAVE NO DOUBT THAT SOON IT WILL BE CLEAR

MEGAMIND & ROXANNE: THINGS ARE GOING RIGHT

MINION: IT’S GOING TO GO WRONG

MEGAMIND: NOTHING’S GOING TO WRONG

MINION: IT’S GOING TO GO WRONG AND THEN YOU’LL SEE I’M RIGHT, SIR AND YOU’LL SEE THAT I HAVE BEEN RIGHT ALL ALONG

MEGAMIND & ROXANNE: THINGS ARE GOING RIGHT

ROXANNE: I’M SO GLAD YOU HAVE YOU HERE

MEGAMIND: I’M SO GLAD TO BE HERE

MINION:

DISASTER’S LOOMING NEAR

IT IS GOING TO GO WRONG SOON AND THE ONLY THING TO HOPE FOR IS IT DOESN’T GO AS BADLY AS I FEAR

MEGAMIND & ROXANNE: THINGS ARE GOING RIGHT

MINION: SIR IS HEADED FOR A FALL BUT THERE’S NOTHING I CAN DO EXCEPT TO STAND BEHIND HIM AND THEN PICK UP ALL THE PIECES WHEN IT’S THROUGH

IT’S GOING TO GO WRONG

IT’S GOING TO GO WRONG

Let Me Be Good

MEGAMIND: I’VE READ THE COMIC BOOKS AND NOVELS SEEN THE TELEVISION SHOWS WATCHED A MILLION ACTION MOVIES I KNOW HOW THIS STORY GOES

BEING BAD HAS ALWAYS BEEN THE ONLY THING I COULD DO RIGHT AND PEOPLE ALWAYS LOOK SO HAPPY AS THEY WATCH ME LOSE A FIGHT

EVERY STORY NEEDS A HERO THE HERO ALWAYS HAS TO WIN THE VILLAIN HAS TO BE DEFEATED AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN

AND I’M TIRED

I’M TIRED OF THIS DESTINY I AM TIRED OF LOOKING IN THE MIRROR AND SEEING ME BUT I CAN FIX THAT AND MAYBE THEN I CAN BE FREE

FATE, LET ME GO LET ME GO LET ME BE

LET ME BE GOOD

I WANT TO BE GOOD THIS TIME WIPE THE LEDGER CLEAN AND START ANEW BE SOMEBODY GOOD THIS TIME SOMEONE WHO’S NOT EVIL AND NOT BLUE

ALL MY LIFE, I’VE NEVER THOUGHT I COULD BE SOMEBODY GOOD BUT FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE—

MAYBE I COULD

I WANT TO BELONG THIS TIME STEP ONTO THE STREETS AND NOT HEAR SCREAMS PEOPLE SMILE AND WAVE THIS TIME IT’S JUST LIKE THE CITY IN MY DREAMS

I HAVE NEVER DONE SO WELL AT KNOWING RIGHT FROM WRONG BUT FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE—

LET ME BELONG

AND MAYBE IT’LL WORK THIS TIME AND I CAN RIGHT THE WRONGS THAT I HAVE DONE AND I’LL LEARN TO BE GOOD THIS TIME AND I’LL EARN MY PLACE HERE IN THE SUN

ALL MY LIFE, I’VE ALWAYS THOUGHT I WAS EVIL TO THE CORE BUT FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE—

LET ME BE MORE

PLEASE LET ME BE GOOD THIS TIME LET ME HAVE A CHANCE TO MAKE HER SMILE AND I KNOW I’M NOT WORTH HER TIME BUT LET ME MAKE HER HAPPY FOR A WHILE

I HAVE NEVER DONE SO WELL AT DOING WHAT I SHOULD BUT FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE—

LET ME BE GOOD

Stupid Girl

ROXANNE: STUPID GIRL DON’T YOU DARE LOOK BACK AGAIN DON’T YOU DARE WATCH HIM GO OR THINK ABOUT WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN

YOU WERE FALLING IN LOVE WHILE HE WAS PLAYING A PART STUPID GIRL STUPID GIRL STUPID HEART

YOU THOUGHT THAT YOU COULD SOLVE THE PLAN HE’D MADE THOUGHT YOU COULD WIN THE GAME ALL ALONG YOU WERE GETTING PLAYED

DON’T YOU DARE LOOK BACK DON’T YOU DARE WATCH HIM GO STUPID GIRL STUPID GIRL DON’T YOU KNOW

YOU’RE JUST A STUPID GIRL WHO THOUGHT SHE WAS SO SMART STUPID GIRL STUPID GIRL STUPID HEART

STUPID GIRL ALL ALONE IN THE RAIN YOU’VE JUST YOURSELF TO BLAME SO DON’T YOU DARE COMPLAIN

YOU KNOW IT’S YOUR OWN FAULT FOR BEING SO NAIVE STUPID GIRL STUPID GIRL TO BELIEVE

THAT AT LAST YOU HAD SOMEONE’S RESPECT ALL OF THE LIES HOW COULD YOU NOT SUSPECT

YOU’RE JUST A STUPID GIRL AND IT WAS ALL A LIE STUPID GIRL STUPID GIRL TELL ME WHY

YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD BE MORE THAN A DAMSEL IN DISTRESS YOU’RE JUST A STUPID GIRL WHO LOOKS PRETTY IN A DRESS

YOU WERE FALLING IN LOVE WHILE HE WAS PLAYING A PART STUPID GIRL STUPID GIRL STUPID HEART

Piece of the Action (reprise)

HOT FLASH: GONNA GET A PIECE OF THE ACTION

HOT FLASH & LADY DOPPLER: GONNA GET A PIECE OF THE PIE

HOT FLASH, LADY DOPPLER, PSYCHO DELIC, & DESTRUCTION WORKER: JUST DESERTS AND SATISFACTION

HOT FLASH, LADY DOPPLER, PSYCHO DELIC, DESTRUCTION WORKER, & HAL: NO MORE BEING A NICE GUY

HEROISM IS FOR LOSERS SO JOIN THE VILLAINS’ TEAM INSTEAD GONNA GET A PIECE OF THE ACTION AND PAINT METRO CITY RED

Going to Go Wrong (reprise)

MINION: IT’S GOING TO GO WRONG DISASTER’S LOOMING NEAR BUT THERE IS NOTHING I CAN DO IF, SIR, YOU SAY THAT YOU DON’T EVEN WANT ME HERE

SIR IS HEADED FOR A FALL BUT THERE IS NOTHING I CAN DO EXCEPT—

There. It’s finished now. Time to go.

I’m So Bad (reprise)

MEGAMIND: DON’T YOU KNOW THAT I AM BAD BABY PEOPLE SEE ME AND THEY RUN THEY KNOW I’M MEAN AND NASTY OH, BEING EVIL’S SO MUCH FUN

AND I AM BAD, BABY THE BADDEST THING IN TOWN THE ONLY THING I’M GOOD AT It’s time to go down…in style.

See Through Lead

METRO MAN: I HAVE EYES THAT CAN SEE RIGHT THROUGH LEAD BUT I GAVE IT ALL UP TO SING INSTEAD

I USED TO SPEND MY TIME FIGHTING A SUPERVILLAIN BUT PUNCHIN’ GIANT ROBOTS NEVER FELT FULFILLIN’ SO I CAME UP WITH A BRILLIANT PLAN I FAKED MY DEATH AND NOW THEY CALL ME MUSIC MAN!

Only One Here Is Me

ROXANNE: I HAVE ALWAYS     SEEN THE GOOD IN YOU ALL THE WORTH YOU TRY TO HIDE I KNOW YOU’RE GOOD INSIDE NOW I NEED YOU TO STEP INTO THE LIGHT

I NEED YOU I NEED YOU TO BE A HERO THE ONE I’VE ALWAYS KNOWN THAT YOU COULD BE NEED YOU TO BE IT NOW FOR ME MEGAMIND, IT’S TIME TO PROVE ME RIGHT

MEGAMIND: I’M NOT A HERO I KNOW I’M NOT A HERO ALL I EVER DO IS FAIL THE VILLAIN’S NOT MEANT TO PREVAIL

ROXANNE: I NEED YOU TO RISE UP AGAIN AND FIGHT

SAVE ME I AM ASKING YOU TO SAVE ME I CAN’T DO THIS ALONE BUT I HAVE ALWAYS KNOWN THAT YOU’LL BE THERE TO CATCH ME IF I FALL

I’VE ALWAYS KNOWN YOU COULD BE A HERO I KNOW THAT I’M NOT WRONG THE POTENTIAL’S BEEN THERE ALL ALONG AND NOW I NEED FOR YOU TO SHOW THEM ALL

MEGAMIND: I’M NOT A HERO I COULD NEVER BE ALL I’VE EVER BEEN IS THE VILLAIN YOU NEED A HERO BUT THE ONLY ONE HERE IS ME

AND I’M NOT A HERO THAT’S VERY CLEAR LOST EVERY FIGHT TO DATE YOU NEED SOMEONE GREAT YOU NEED A HERO BUT I’M THE ONLY ONE HERE

ROXANNE: I NEED YOU MEGAMIND, I NEED YOU

MEGAMIND: YOU DESERVE A HERO TO COME TO YOUR RESCUE BUT HEROES ARE IN SHORT SUPPLY AND I CAN’T JUST SIT BY YOU NEED A HERO BUT A VILLAIN WILL HAVE TO DO

ROXANNE: I HAVE ALWAYS KNOWN YOU COULD BE A HERO

MEGAMIND: I’M NOT A HERO ANYONE WOULD CHOOSE I’M WELL AWARE I DON’T HAVE A PRAYER BUT YOU NEED A HERO SO I’VE GOT ONE LAST FIGHT TO LOSE

I’M NOT A HERO I DON’T SAVE THE DAY IT’S NOT FATE’S DESIGN THAT DESTINY’S NOT MINE THE STORY DOESN’T GO THAT WAY BUT I WILL TRY TRY TO DEFY MY DESTINY YOU NEED A HERO AND THE ONLY ONE HERE IS ME

Things Could Be Worse (reprise)

CITIZENS: YOU’VE ONLY MOMENTS LEFT UNTIL YOUR INEVITABLE DEATH, BUT STILL

MEGAMIND: Normally, I’d just chalk this up as my last glorious failure—

CITIZENS: SOMETHING IN YOU WON’T LET YOU GIVE IN

MEGAMIND: —but not today.

I’LL FIND A REASON TO SURVIVE FIND A WAY TO STAY ALIVE

What can I say? Old habits die hard!

Path We Choose

MEGAMIND: ALL MY LIFE I BELIEVED IT WHEN THE WORLD SAID THAT EVIL WAS MY DESTINY

FOR SO LONG MY MIND’S BEEN SHACKLED BUT I’VE CAST OFF THE CHAINS OF LIES NOW, I AM FREE

ALL: YOU CAN BE A HERO YOU CAN BE A HERO IF YOU LOOK INSIDE YOU’LL FIND THAT YOU ARE GOOD

YOU ARE GONNA MAKE IT YOU ARE GONNA MAKE IT YOU ARE GONNA DO THE THINGS YOU NEVER THOUGHT YOU COULD

MEGAMIND: I HAVE LIVED WITHOUT HOPE OF RESCUE ACCEPTANCE OR FORGIVENESS OR REPRIEVE

FOR SO LONG I THOUGHT I DESERVED THAT BUT MY MIND IS FREE NOW AND HERE IS WHAT I BELIEVE

ALL: YOU CAN BE A HERO YOU CAN BE A HERO THIS BATTLE YOU ARE FIGHTING CAN BE WON

YOU ARE GONNA MAKE IT YOU ARE GONNA MAKE IT YOU ARE GONNA STEP OUT FROM THE SHADOWS TO THE SUN

MEGAMIND: I’VE BEEN PUSHED DOWN AND THE WORLD HAS TOLD ME THAT I DIDN’T DESERVE ANYTHING MORE

BUT I’M THROUGH I’M THROUGH WITH FALLING THIS TIME, OH, THIS TIME I’M GONNA SOAR

ALL: THE WORLD MAY BE AGAINST US THE WORLD MAY BE AGAINST US BUT THIS IS NOT A FIGHT WE’RE GONNA LOSE

FATE IS NOT THE PATH WE’RE GIVEN FATE IS NOT THE PATH WE’RE GIVEN DESTINY’S THE PATH WE CHOOSE

(setepenre-set)

[epickendall]

Possible 10 chapter 4

The next day at the Possible household Kim, Ron, and Rufus was in the living room waiting on Team 10 whom Kim gave Gwen her house address to come over to explain a couple of things to them like Gwen promise. Still, Kim could not get over two things from last night one was that she and Gwen looked just alike and second seeing the rock creature turning into a teenager about the same age as Ron and her.

Ron looked over to Kim who is thinking to herself, and he comes up to her "Kim are you thinking about what happened last night KP,"

"Yeah, Ron I didn't expect our date turn into stopping Drakken evil plan then meeting someone who looks almost exactly like me than seeing a guy that can turn into a rock creature," said Kim

"I'm sure they'll explain all that once they get here, but I do have one theory,"

"Which is?"

"That maybe those guys are all aliens,"

"Yeah right, Ron there is no such things as aliens,"

"Come on Kim have seen and heard those stories about strange creatures that popped up across the country for the past few years,"

"Ron those could be people in costumes or hoaxes stories made up by news reporter,"

then Rufus comes out of Ron pocket and says "alien,"

"Not you too Rufus,"

Then Kim's doorbell rings Kim goes to the front door and opens to see Gwen, Ben, and Kevin waiting on her front porch.

"Hello again can we come in," said Gwen

"Yes you all can come in," said Kim

Kim lets Gwen, Ben, and Kevin walked into her house they look around Kim's household.

"Nice house you got here," said Kevin

"Yeah it's better than our hotel room," said Ben sits down on the couch across Ron and he looked at him "sup,"

"Hey," said Ron Kim sit down with him as Gwen and Kevin sits at the other couch

"So what you guys want to know?" said Gwen

"Who exactly are you guys?" said Kim

"Well I'm Ben, your already Gwen name," Ben then points to Kevin "and that's Kevin,"

"I'm Ron, and this is Rufus," Ron pulls out Rufus who did a ta-da

"Cool a naked mole-rat," said Ben

"Next question," said Kevin

"Yeah are you guys aliens?" said Ron

"Ron," Kim groans

"What? I gotta ask," Ron shrugging his shoulder

"Well he's half right on the alien part," said Ben

"What," said Kim in disbelief "aliens aren't real,"

"Yes, there are it just that it all cover-up and keeping the truth from the general public,"

"I need a better explanation than that,"

"Okay this a long one to explain," said Gwen

She explains to Kim and Ron about the plumber organization of intergalactic law enforcement that keeps the universe safe and that all three of them are deputized, agents she tells them that she and Kevin are half aliens.

"What about Ben? is he half-alien as well?" said Kim

"Nope," said Ben

"Then how can you turn into that weird rock monster," said Ron

"Because of this," Ben shows them the Omnitrix "this is the Omnitrix it allows me to turn into any aliens that it has the DNA stored in it,"

"That so cool where I get one of those?" Ron looked amazed on the Omnitrix

"Sorry but there only one in the universe and I had this when I was ten,"

"How?" said Kim

"I'll give you the short version when Gwen and I were on a road trip with our grandpa across the U.S and the Omnitrix crash land across our campsite I found it, and it got attached to my hand and ever since then had some crazy adventures,"

"Can you show us another alien," said Ron excitedly and so was Rufus

"Sure but can I do it inside, I don't want to freak your neighbors out Kim,"

"Fine by me," said Kim

Ben selected an alien and press down on the Omnitrix, and he transforms into Big chill

"Big chill!" Ben said out loud

"Why did you say your name out loud?" said Ron

"Because it's supposed to put fear into his enemies," said Gwen

"It does," said Ben

"It doesn't Ben," said Kevin

"So what does that alien do?" said Kim

"This," Ben freezes Kim glass of water Ben then changes back to his human self and sits back down

"Wow," said Ron and Rufus

"One last question what are all of you guys are doing in Middleton in the first place," said Kim

"Well Kim three alien had escaped from prison, and one of them is either coming here or already here in the Middleton," said Kevin

"And we came to put a stop whatever it is planning to do in Middleton," said Gwen

"But we have no idea what the alien looks like and what was his past crimes," said Ben

"Hm, no sound like you guys need help," then an idea pops into Kim's head "what about Ron, and I help you guys?"

"Oh I don't know Kim some of the aliens we fought can be tough," said Gwen

"Yeah well KP and I handle crazy supervillains that are trying to take over the world most of the week," said Ron

"So we can handle anything that throws at our way," said Kim

Ben, Gwen, and Kevin looked at each other and nodded Ben said to them "welcome aboard to Plumber business you two,"

Then the front door opens Kim's father Dr.Possible comes in with stacks of notes in his hand and see Kim and Ron with three kids he never saw before.

"Hello Kim whos your new friends," said Dr.Possible looking at Gwen thinking it was Kim

"Um sir I'm not Kim," Gwen points to Kim who blushed in embarrassment

"Sorry, Kim it's just that you two looked kinda alike,"

Kim whispered to Gwen "we got to solve this problem sooner or later,"

After talking to Kim and Ron, the trio heads back to Kevin's car and going to their hotel room.

"That went well," said Gwen

"Yeah, but who's going to tell Max about letting Kim and Ron on our mission," said Kevin

"Gwen," said Ben

"Why me?"

"Well it's was your idea and besides you can explain to him better than me and Kevin,"

Gwen sighs "Fine,"

"Kevin can you drop me off in the town I want to see if the alien come yet,"

"Are you sure after the whole Drakken incident?" said Kevin

"I can handle myself, and I call you guys if something happens,"

"Alright, Ben,"

Kevin dropped Ben off in the town as he and Gwen go back to their hotel room and explains things to Grandpa Max. Ben looks over the city once but still no signs of alien activity in Middleton or nothing unusual then he felt a tap on his shoulder and turns around to see Monique.

"Hey no long time no see Ben," said Monique

"Hello Monique how are you doing?" said Ben smiling

"I'm doing good, did you and your friend find your cousin?"

"Yes, we did she got someone got her confused with someone else,"

"Well that good, so what are you doing,"

"Oh," Ben rubbed the back of his head trying to come up with a good lie "I'm just trying to find something to do,"

"Hm for me I was going to the movies, but suddenly I'm looking for someone to come with me," Monique looked at Ben

Ben gets what she is trying to do "can I come with you to movies,"

Monique "sure Ben," She and Ben head to the movie theater

[dorianharker-blog]

About Dorian Harker. Long read alert.

Greetings! So who the hell am I, anyway? I tend to use three words as of late: writer, artist and supervillain. Yes, I'm on the Dark Side, baby. It all started way back when I was watching Transformers: Beast Wars, when I suddenly realized that my heart lies with Megatron and team evil. I cried when Darth Vader died. My favorite scene in The Lords of the Rings is this awesome battle where Sauron shows everyone who's the boss. "But the power of the Ring could not be undone".  Boom-shakalaka! Get'em Sauron! Get'em! You get the picture.

That's probably not very Dale Carnegie of me. I mean, I gotta make a good first impression here, right? Plants. I like growing plants. Leon style. How's that? Still weird? I would include a photo of myself with a dog if I could, but I'm allergic to pretty much all mammals, so... Green thingies. I care about them. See? I'm all right. Everything's perfectly all right now. We're fine. We're all fine here now. Thank you. How are you?

For your information, when I talk to people I tend to have about 3 separate lines of thought and I switch between them back and forth, and if I have enough room to talk, I can go on for long time about some little detail just so I can better highlight the major topic of a conversation. Actually, I saw a description of something pretty similar on wikipedia, somewhere in "mental disorders" section. But I prefer to think about it more as a writing quirk. Sooooooo... remember Sauron? Let's continue from here. Fantasy and sci-fi. I love them! Video games are in my blood since 1997 (my first ever game - Imperium Galactica, 4x space strategy, awesome stuff). I was a modmaker during Warcraft III era, went on to win a map-making contest hosted by a local game developer, and first set my foot inside a "gamedev" office and left my signatures on contracts when I was 14. But the dream life of a leathercoat-wearing teenage mutant ninja developer didn't happen for me. It was only a decade later when I actually got a real job in gamedev. That was... a disappointment. Managers give you shit, managers of these managers give you shit, "deadline" is everyone's favorite topic of conversation, crunches suck the soul out of you, and... woah, that's got too depressive too quickly. But don't worry. I know a magic word for such occasions: "Anyway"... Imaginary worlds. I was  always fascinated with them. Dune. Legacy of Kain. Vampire: the Masquerade. Thief. Trinity Blood. Planescape. Dark Sun. Warhammer 40k. I dreamed that when I grow up, I will create stuff like that. The idea was that it will probably happen inside some gamedev company. But even before I got there, I started writing my first fantasy book. I always took writing very seriously, but I had these game developer ambitions to be a part of something on Bioshock/Mass Effect level. Making games is hard, but it's not just rocket science, it's a psychological state that requires you to sacrifice everything. It was holding me back from what I really wanted to do. Imaginary worlds. MY worlds.

Writing took over. I finally figured out what I need to do to align with my childhood "when I grow up" dreams. Of course, writing turned out to be even tougher than making games, you have to motivate yourself, fight the all-devouring self-doubt, no one is paying you salary, you live only for as long as you have savings, and when the money starts to run low food rationing comes into play and... ugh... Anyway...

Lemme see... Writer, supervillain... Ah! What's up with this "artist" part? Well, I've been drawing since I was 6, but I had lacked education. Then I discoreved that I'm the absolute devastator in the realm of 3D graphics. I used to compensate my poor drawing skills with making cool 3D. Then, by accident, I started sketching in subway on my way to work/from work. And the nature of going to work is (BREAKING) 5 days a week, every week. After a year since I started doing subway sketches, I realized: "wait a minute... this looks pretty good..." So now I'm in the middle of drawing and painting everything that I wanted to draw and paint since ancient history. It's hot and sexy girls, mostly. Why that pacticular topic? Because female body is the most beautiful thing in the world. I do appretiace the male physique, too and male anatomy is on my "to do" list, but for now I'm focusing heavily on my ladies. I'm also into achitecture, fashion, big-ass Warhammer armor, mecha, dinosaurs, but I already tried to spread myself thin as a kid, that didn't work. So, ladies. Yes, sometimes naked. With naked boobs. I hope you don't have a problem with that, because I sure don't. So be advised. I haven't written any sex scenes yet, but I outlined them. I don't want to make a big deal out of it, it's just in my fantasy world, people have sex. I also say "fuck" a lot. My characters are not different. Stevie King once wrote about writing that "you have to tell the truth". And the truth is, I find that swearing is fucking hilarious. It's a positive thing for me. Oh, dear. That's all definitely not very Dale Carnegie of me. Plants. Green thingies. Leon. About a week ago I put this onion in a glass tube filled with water, just water, no soil, but the roots just keep growing! True story.

I hope you enjoyed this little piece of writing. That wasn't easy, writing about this regular dude, who's just trying to make his way in the universe. I don't usually do that. I write about magic! Explosions! Power of black holes in a wizard's hand. Stick with me, if you're interested.

PS: Oh, if any Deception loyalists are out there, let me know. Total Domination of the Universe! All hail Megatron!