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arwenkenobi48 · 3 years

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The Fiend and the Fugitive Character Profiles: Stardust, Drakon and Smokey

I found the traditional format for these character profiles a little too taxing, so I’ll simply describe each of these characters with a little bit of prose and dialogue, then include trivia relating to each of them.

Stardust

He removed the crash helmet and goggles from his head, revealing two small conical horns upturned on his forehead, with two smaller ones aligned vertically on the bridge of his nose and between his eyebrows. The young man swished back a rich crop of hair, the colours of which were most striking, starting out with a deep purple and ending in an electric turquoise. The area around his eyes and halfway down his cheeks were marked by what appeared to be some sort of ritual tattoos, a rich crimson in colour, forming abstract shapes closely resembling crescent moons, only more angular. His bright purple eyes sparkled happily as he adjusted his parka, bowing modestly from side to side as the crowd cheered. “Thank you, thank you all, thank you very much,” he beamed, his voice rich and cultured. There was no doubt about it; this eccentric figure was indeed Robin’s childhood friend, albeit going by a different name. How on Earth did he manage to earn so much money? Surely not by becoming a human snowball every time he went skiing.

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“Mephistopheles, hold this for a moment, will you?” Stardust placed a large object in the demon’s hands, so heavy he nearly dropped it, then calmly took it back and placed on the now immaculate shelf. “Thank you, old chap,” “What was that thing?” Mephisto demanded. “Oh, just a giant cosmic pearl gifted to me by a relative,” Stardust replied casually. “Why, whatever is the matter, Mephisto? You’re looking awfully peaky all of a sudden!” “I think it drained my dark energy,” Mephistopheles gagged. “Well, that’s certainly something else, as they say. I’m sure it’s not as bad as that. You know those things absorb energy like spherical sponges,” “I didn’t know that,” grumbled Mephistopheles, who now felt like he had just been cured of a cold, but in the worst way possible. As much as he felt bad for his rival, Stardust couldn’t help feeling rather amused that what dragons considered medicine had made a demon sick.

Stardust is one of my oldest OCs

His name is actually an English translation of the Draconic name Esrah, which quite literally means “essence of the stars”

Stardust is demisexual and panromantic

He’s a philanthropist who protects dragons that have been made homeless and have suffered discrimination from humans

Many assume that Stardust’s odd appearance is due to body modifications, but he is actually half dragon and can shift between human and dragon forms. This is technically called a Dragon Angel

Stardust’s only relative that he’s in contact with is his grandfather, Mitsuo, who is a 1000 year old Japanese water dragon

The only thing Stardust and Mephistopheles can healthily bond over is table tennis. Regular tennis is out of bounds after Mitsuo got knocked out during a rather heated match (quite literally, the ball was going so fast it was gathering heat)

Despite having sold his soul to Mephistopheles, Stardust repents and is able to retrieve it. He has already proven himself to be a good person after donating his riches to support his fellow dragons

Stardust enjoys listening to heavy metal and opera

Drakon

The dragon was around the same size as a Shetland pony, but at first glance nowhere near as cuddly. The dark blue scaly skin contrasted with an armour-plated golden underbelly, the curved horns, spines and barbed tail also indicated that this was a creature you wouldn’t want to mess with. Although he had sharp, owl-like claws, his hands and feet were bizarrely humanoid in shape and the powerful muscles seemed to indicate that this creature could be both bipedal and a quadruped, although being an all fours appeared to be the more comfortable of the two. His golden eyes peered up and his nostrils flared. He was clearly trying to appear intimidating as he stretched his wings out, but he somehow failed in spite of himself. “Now, listen ‘ere, human,” he warned in a voice with a strong regional accent. “I don’t know exactly what you’re up to, but let’s get one thing straight, yeah? You don’t wanna be starting any fights, especially not with me!” He bared his teeth, but they didn’t look as though they were capable of doing damage to anything other than a shawarma.

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“Eh, who am I kiddin’?” Grumbled Drakon, sinking to the floor like a depressed panther. “I let you down. All cause I got the collywobbles seein’ them humans all at once. I wish I didn’t scare so easily, Smokey,” The baby’s reaction seemed to indicate that he not only understood his guardian, but empathised with him and wanted him to feel better. Even in his sadness, as a lump formed in his throat and a tear in his eye, Drakon couldn’t help but smile.

Drakon’s name is the root word of “dragon” in Greek

Drakon and Smokey are implied to be brothers from different clutches but with the same mother, although nobody knows for sure

After his cave was destroyed by humans mining for gemstones, Drakon resides in the House of Stardust. He thinks highly of Stardust and considers him his best friend. The feeling is mutual and they frequently protect one another from the cruelty of humans

Drakon loves shawarmas to the point that he put on quite a few pounds and now has a build similar to a bear

The inspirations for Drakon came from the Cowardly Lion in the book version of The Wizard of Oz and Captain Haddock from The Adventures of Tintin

Drakon hates trumpet music. Whenever he sees a trumpet he will do everything in his power to destroy it (and by that he’ll usually yell at it, stamp on it or at worst, set it on fire)

Smokey

With a loud whine that sounded like a cross between a baby bird chirping and a kitten mewing, Smokey came galloping down the hallway. His round body was shaped like a squashed pear and his limbs were short and stubby, although he could function perfectly well. He clearly still had a lot of his baby fat, but despite that, he was surprisingly fast. His mottled skin was so dark grey it was nearly black, although a bright red belly and round eyes resembling those of an owl stood out from this. His wide yet snub beak gave him a strong resemblance to a potoo bird and his wings hadn’t matured yet. The most striking feature of this infant dragon, however, were his floppy, comically lopsided ears, which flapped around like ribbons as he galloped along. He didn’t speak, as he was much too young to learn how, but simply uttered his trademark “nee-nee-neesh!” noise as he hugged Stardust’s leg.

Smokey is five years old in human years, but that’s closer to two years old for his subspecies

He can’t breathe fire yet, but manages to sneeze out a fireball to protect his friends from the forces of Hell

Being so young, Smokey cries very easily. Possibly as a result of losing his parents, he also gets upset whenever someone leaves the room, as he thinks they won’t return. This results in him running after them and clinging to their legs while ‘neeshing’ loudly.

I was originally doing to give Smokey some dialogue, but decided against it, as I felt he’d be much cuter without it and his actions would speak louder than words

He gets his name from the fact that smoke always blows out of his ears whenever he tries to test his fire breath

Smokey hates Mephistopheles and can sense his evil aura from a mile away. Whenever he sees him he makes a noise like an angry teapot coming to the boil

Despite being little more than a newborn in dragon years, Smokey is capable of great empathy and comforts his friends when they’re feeling down

His favourite album is Shepherd Moons by Enya

Smokey was based on a plushie I use for emotional support

His favourite food is Greek honey cake

Apologies for the absence again; mental health really hasn’t been great at all, but I was still determined to deliver some of the content I promised. I realised that there was nothing stopping me from writing the first draft of The Fiend and the Fugitive, so I made a start on that and I’m looking forward to officially beginning the project in September!

#the fiend and the fugitive #original intellectual property #OC: Stardust #OC: Drakon #OC: Smokey #dragons #original characters

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wiener-soldiers · 4 years

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operation omega - mission brief (i)

summary: years after the avengers dismantle HYDRA, the group remerges more dangerous than ever. their modus operandi? infiltrating foreign governments, stealing and reproducing their weapons, and selling them to terrorist groups. when the us government approaches the avengers for help on a secret operation with a secret asset, they are reluctant to agree. it isn’t until their quinjet almost gets shot down in the middle of nowhere when the understand that omega means business.

pairing: bucky barnes x SEAL!reader

words: 2.8k

warnings: swearing (if that’s even a warning), mentions of violence/terrorist organizations

a/n: i binged tom clancy’s jack ryan and thought of this so

taglist: add yourself here!

OPERATION OMEGA MASTERLIST

“Tony, what did I say about calling unnecessary meetings?”

Resident genius-billionaire-playboy-philanthropist rolled his eyes as the Steve who is just barging into the conference room, Bucky following closely behind. Seated in the all-glass conference room are the rest of the Avengers all in different stages of boredom with Tony standing at the head of the table, arms crossed across his pressed dress shirt.

Still sweaty from his run with Steve, Bucky lets out a heavy breath. The pair of super soldiers decided to go for an early morning run out of Midtown towards Central Park, but their run was cut short with an urgent message from Tony:

Tony Stark: Code Red. Conference room. ASAP.

After reading those five words, the two sprinted back to the compound, adrenaline high as the cool, seven AM New York air nips at their face. Adrenaline pumped through their system, thinking of every possible bad thing that could’ve happened—another Ultron, a bomb threat, a robbery, a kidnapping—but upon their arrival, all they saw were their teammates in pajamas or workout gear gathered around the conference room table, sipping their coffees and watching Tony Stark pace relentlessly.

“Not unnecessary. And not a meeting,” he retorts.

“Then what the hell is going on Tony? We all agreed the Code Reds are serious,” Steve bites back, irritated by his attitude so early in the morning. Steve bites the inside of his cheek as a sign of slight regret for yelling at his teammate unnecessarily hoping that Bucky doesn’t notice, but he does.

Tony rolls his eyes once again before pulling out his cellphone—one of the fancy prototypes Stark is working on with a transparent screen and that’s compatible with the building’s hologram projection systems. With a flick of his finger, the glass walls all around them are filled with mission briefs, reports, and photos and videos of military-styled soldiers dressed in all black gear and the signature red octopus on their arm shooting at innocent people and blowing up villages.

The later immediately catches everyone’s attention.

“What the hell is this…” Natasha whispers, looking around the room with furrowed eyes.

“This is a mission briefing,” Tony says, almost too quietly. Bucky notices how his cocky façade immediately falls as soon as the rest of the team notices how serious the situation is becoming.

Bucky can feel his heart beat faster and his hands become sweatier. Out of instinct, the gears in his metal arms begin to whir and recalibrate, a sign that Bucky is ready to fight. Instead, he says, “HYDRA is back.”

Steve’s and Tony’s eyes dart towards him. Bucky was never one to be vocal during mission briefings. It was a habit from his army days: listen in silence, only ask questions for clarification, and execute without making any assumptions. Bucky was even surprised by his own voice, but his subconscious knew that the re-emergence of HYDRA was bad.

“We defeated HYDRA,” Sam spoke up, not taking his eyes off a particular video of HYDRA soldiers taking innocent villagers captive, “And don’t you dare give me that bullshit about cutting of its head and two more taking its place. There’s no way they could recover from what we through at them.”

“Sam’s right, Tony. And this isn’t HYDRA’s MO,” Steve adds on. “This is…different.”

“Evolved…” Bucky mumbles. He hears Steve sigh beside him.

“Barnes is right,” Tony says, calling the attention of everyone in the room. “HYDRA is evolved. Their new MO: infiltrating government agencies, stealing their nuclear weapons designs, manufacturing it themselves, then selling it to corrupt governments, militias, and terrorist groups.”

“So, they want to create chaos. Again,” Wanda states in slight horror. Bucky shifts his gaze to look at her and sees the fear inside her eyes. He’s also sure that the same fear is probably in his as well. Bucky and Wanda became unlikely friends after his joining of the Avengers. Both scarred with very public failures involving the killing of innocent people as well as their past history with HYDRA, they found a quiet solace with each other.

Wanda gives him a look, one that tells him that she’s reading his mind; it was their own silent way of communicating. Bucky simply thought, we’re going to beat them. We’re not gonna let them hurt us. We’re stronger than that. Bucky studied Wanda’s face—the creases in her forehead softened as she felt comforted by his thought, but Bucky could tell that Wanda didn’t fully believe him yet.

“How do you know all this Tony?” Steve sighs, running a hand across his face in frustration.

“Got a message from our good old friend Secretary Ross,” Tony stated with a slight grimace.

The room shifted uncomfortably while Bucky heard Steve let out a, “Jesus, Tony.”

“I thought we were done with Sokovia. We’re out,” Bruce mumbled.

“I’m with Banner on this one. After what happened with Zemo, I say we presented a pretty good fucking argument as to why we need to be independent,” Clint sighed.

“Technically, we aren’t working for Ross. He actually came to ask us for help…covertly.”

A beat.

Natasha set her coffee mug down with a thud. “Well don’t be a dick, tell us what the hell you’re talking about.”

---

Y/N’s alarm goes off at 5:00 AM.

After fifteen minutes of stretching, she’s in an all-black running ensemble and she’s out the door of her room by 5:15 AM.

By 5:25 AM, she’s made her way through the dark halls of the compound, her black running shoes making little sound on the concrete floors. She’s finishing up a single banana, a glass of pre-workout, and a handful of granola.

By 5:30 AM, she’s out the large, steel compound door and running through the trail in the woods.

The cold air and the damp forest ground doesn’t bother her as much it used to. When she started this tradition of 5:30 AM runs, she usually needed to listen to music or a podcast to distract her from the less than ideal weather. But now, she finds the sound of her breath, her heartbeat, the sound of this wind against the trees, and the sound of her shoes hitting the forest floor similar to meditation. By 6:00 AM, she’s reached the stream. When the compound was first being built, the Commander Clark insisted the best gym and training equipment inside. But Captain Y/N Y/L/N and the rest of the crew insisted outdoor training area as well. It was comforting for all the ex-military to have some alone time outside.

The compromise they came up with was building an expansive, underground bunker in the middle of nowhere, using nature as a form of natural defence.

The bunker was built in the side of a mountain, surrounded by trees, trees, and even more trees. Slightly downhill form the bunker was a small clearing, large enough to land helicopters and vertical-takeoff jets, but not big enough to look suspicious. Even then, the cover of large trees and the mountains in the tiny valley made the landing area impossible to find, unless you were really looking.

Uphill from the bunker was where the lake was. Y/N finds it funny that the rest of her team calls it a lake; it’s really a large pond that collects water runoff from the waterfall further up the mountain. The pond, however, does create a well-sized stream from the water runoff the weaves its way down the mountain.

Her running trail ends at a waterfall. Covered by the foliage, the beams of sunlight hit part of the decently sized rock formation where the tiny waterfall from the stream launches from.

Y/N lets out a single breath before she begins to scale the rock formations. She’s done it a thousand times; without really paying attention to what she’s doing, her hands automatically jam themselves in the correct crevices and her feat avoid all the slippery ledges from the water as she free-solos the wall.

When she reaches the top, she sits on her usual ledge and lets her feet dangle over the side of the wall. From the top of the formation, all she can really see are leaves and the stream falling off the edge of the formation, but if she positions herself just right, she can see past the tree line and down the mountain below.

At 6:08 AM, she feels her phone buzz. She pulls the device out from her sweater pocket and reads a message from her Lieutenant:

Lieu. Jackson Daniels: Clark is on secured line 1 for you

Y/N furrows her eyes and glances at the time. It’s 6:09 AM now, she normally doesn’t get mission briefs until seven in the morning. She quickly types back:

Capt. Y/N Y/L/N: did he way what he wanted?

Lieu. Jackson Daniels: No. Said it was an order from DC

Y/N sighed and rubbed her face. She wasn’t at all surprised; it’s been months since Omega has been deployed. The last time, it was a reconnaissance mission for the Germans on behalf of the World Security Council. At the time, no one really questioned why the world’s most elite and secretive military team was being sent on a simple reconnaissance mission, but she had a feeling it would come back to bite her in the ass. She picks up a jagged rock from beside her and adds another tally to the hundreds of other tallies on the rock beside her thigh, one to mark every time she completed this run. She sent a quick message back to her Lieutenant:

Capt. Y/N Y/L/N: omw. be back in 15

Lieu. Jackson Daniels: I’ll meet u in the command room

At 6:11 AM, Y/N quickly scales down the rock formation and sprints her way back to the compound. The run back is mostly downhill, so she gets there by 6:26 AM.

At 6:30 AM, with a water bottle clutched in one hand and another wiping the sweat off her forehead, Captain Y/N Y/L/N walking into the command room.

This early in the morning, not many people are in the room. Out of the six members on her team, only one of them—Lieutenant Jackson Daniels…yes, like the whiskey—is in there. Much similar to her, Jack is in all-black workout attire, but instead of in a gym, he’s doing push-ups on the floor beside her command station.

“After living here for five years Jack, I’d think you’d know where the gym was,” she mumbles, walking around his figure on the floor and taking a seat in front of her command station. She always felt quite cool sitting up here. With monitors to her left and right and a screen tabletop, the elevated seat overlooks the five other control stations below her. She presses her hand on the tabletop, and the biometric scan unlocks the entire system, lighting up the room.

“You know I’d be there if it didn’t take you so long to get here,” Jack says as he pushes himself off the floor. He reaches over to take a swig of Y/N’s water but she slaps his arm away. He snorts before walking out of the room, presumably to find water of his own.

The icon on the corner of Y/N’s tabletop indicates a pending call on the secured line, so she taps on it, broadcasting the face of her commander on the wall across from her. The collage of other surveillance videos and maps disappears and is replaced with a ginormous live video feed of Commander Clark’s face.

“This is Omega. Captain Y/L/N speaking, sir,” she says, straightening her back in her chair. She hopes the redness in her face has gone down from her run.

“At ease, Y/N,” Commander Dickson Clark says, and Y/N lets her shoulders fall slightly and gives a nod to the commander in charge of connecting her team to the international allies that know of the existence of the secretive and illusive Omega Team. “What took you so long?” he adds on, amusement laced in his words, “I’ve been waiting for nearly half an hour.”

She offers him a smirk, “As much as I enjoy sprinting through the forest to be at your beck and call, our mission briefs are usually at oh-seven hundred hours, sir.”

“Desperate times call for desperate measures,” Clark says, amusement fading from his voice. “I sent you a briefing packet, I’d appreciate if you took a look at it now and we’ll discuss logistics.”

Y/N nods, opening the file Commander Clark sent to her. Every screen in the room then rearranges to a collage of files, maps, photos, and videos. The largest one is beside Clark’s face on the big screen; drone footage of soldiers in all-black gear loading crates of equipment from an American military base to a jet with a distinctive symbol on it.

“HYDRA,” Y/N whispers, her eyes widening in shock as she scrolls through dozens of photos and videos. “Sir, if I’m not mistaken, the Avengers dismantled HYDRA. They need to be stupid to be stealing from foreign governments to rebuild themselves. Why put an even larger target on their back?”

“Remember the intel mission you went on a couple months back? The BND confirmed it yesterday evening; HYDRA is infiltrating allied governments, stealing nuclear weapons and weapons plans, manufacturing it themselves, and selling it to the allies’ biggest threat,” Clark explained.

“Fucking hell, Clark. What do you want us to do?” Y/N mumbled. Her eyes were glued to a particular video of a little girl being ripped away from her family in a small village by HYDRA soldiers.

“Take down HYDRA.”

Y/N’s mouth drops, “Sir?!”

“We have intel about where HYDRA is manufacturing their weapons. The brief goes more in depth, but your mission is to use the weapons factory as a lead, find intel about who the head of HYDRA is and information of the moles in allied governments, and then the World Security Council will take it from there,” Clark stated. Y/N’s brain is going a hundred miles a minute, but she manages to fabricate another question.

“What’s the World Security Council gonna do with the intel on the moles?”

Clark sighed, “That one’s a little above my paygrade.”

Y/N purses her lips and looks around at the photos and videos around from her. Omega was used to covertly taking out terrorist leaders, gathering intel from the most hostile places in the world, and rescuing hostages from near impossible situations, yet no one knew about the existence of this team aside from the international leaders of the allied forces who used Omega as an asset. Omega bore no flag, rather it was the collective weapon of the allied countries. And most importantly, Omega worked best out of the limelight.

Y/N knew that a high-level mission like this would expose her and her team.

“With all due respect, sir, this mission is a little above our paygrade. Actually, it’s way above our paygrade. We know nothing about HYDRA and we have no experience with them. This is an extremely high-level mission and even the slightest screw up puts me and my team in the spotlight. Sir, I think the last thing the World Security Council needs is for Omega, a secretive, international military group that operates in places they do not have jurisdiction in from orders of the allies, to be known by the public,” Y/N rants. She runs a hand across her face and looks to Clark with eyes of worry.

Clark sighs before leaning a little closer, “Look, I don’t like this anymore than you do. But I’m not going to lie to you, we need this done secretly. Foreign military forces can’t do anything because it’s almost guaranteed that it’s going to get out somehow. And besides, we don’t know who’s a mole and who’s not. As soon as this information gets in the wrong hands, every single mole scatters and we’re back to square one.”

“Okay, so you’re using us to be secretive and not attract any attention to the moles inside governments. Fine, I get it. But we’re going to be ridiculously outmatched. You want the six of us to take down an entire terrorist organization with assets inside foreign governments, access to nuclear weapons, and enhanced individuals?” Y/N nearly shouts in exasperation.

She doesn’t hear Jack walk back into the command room, a glass of water in hand. “What the hell…” she hears him mumble beside her.

“It’s a suicide mission, and there’s no way in hell I’m letting my team go in this alone,” Y/N says firmly, jaw clenched at Clark’s face in front of her.

Clark furrows his eyebrows in response, “I never said you were doing this alone.”

Jack, seemingly unaware of the tension in the room and more focused on the intel around him, says, “This is some Avengers-level shit, Y/N…”

At Jack’s words, a small smirk makes its way to his face. Y/N raises an eyebrow at him in confusion before the connection formulates in her mind. Her jaw unhinges and drops as she widens her eyes at Commander Clark.

“Holy fucking shit.”

TWO: AV-616

#operation omega #bucky barnes #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes x reader #sebastian stan #sebastian stan imagine #sebastian stan fic #sebastian stan x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #sebastian stan fanfiction #steve rogers imagine #wiener soldiers

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raeynbowboi · 5 years

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Into the Dragon’s Dungeon: How to Play as Itachi in DnD 5e

After covering one of my favorite villains and then my favorite superhero, it’s time to tackle my favorite anime “villain” by building the illusion master Itachi Uchiha from the Naruto franchise. Unlike the last two options, only one person has been responsible for creating and choosing the powers of this character, so I don’t have to look at multiple sources to pin down his powers, skills, and abilities.

The Makings of A Hero

Race probably seems like a no brainer. Itachi is a human. Super duper Simple. But for me personally, I tend to view most Shonen anime characters as Variant Humans. If a character can get kicked against a wall so hard they make a crater and then get up like it’s nothing, that’s not a normal human. So, I file them under Variant Humans in my builds.

When it comes to morality, it’s very easy to argue that Itachi is Lawful Evil. He’s committed horrible attrocities in the name of the law. But the slaughter of his family was for the greater good of the village, so you could also call that Chaotic Good. You could even argue that he’s sort of neutral. So the alignment you give him will depend largely on how you view him.

As a ninja, and a former secret police ninja to boot, Spy is a possible background for him. However, he’s also a rogue ninja, meaning he’s a wanted criminal, which could fit the Criminal background. Since Itachi is a member of the criminal organization Akatsuki, he could be considered a Faction Agent. And since he’s killed his entire clan, you could make him a Haunted One.

Fighting Style

The number one most important factor in a proper Itachi build is a high AC. Itachi’s best quality is that the guy is hard to pin down. I’d bet that if I went back through the entire series, I could count the number of times anyone actually managed to hit Itachi on one hand. Itachi tends to prefer to fight from mid to long range. When he was a child, he was much more focused on his physical combat. It wasn’t until Itachi was an adult that his focus shifted to magic and illusions. However, by the time he first appears in the series, his magic has become his primary means of fighting. Itachi is a very defensive fighter. Above anything else, Itachi is focused on avoiding damage and turning an opponent’s power against them.

The Sharingan

The magical eyes of the Uchiha Clan can copy techniques, mirror unknown jutsus in real time, and see through illusions. The Sharingan also improves reflexes and reaction time by giving the wielder an enhanced sense like Spider-man’s Spidey Senses. The evolved version, the Mangekyo Sharingan gives Itachi access to three important abilities. Amaterasu, a black flame so hot it can burn through the esophagus of a fire-breathing mountain toad. Susano’o, a giant skeletal spectral warrior that surrounds the user and protect them. And Itachi’s most signature ability, the Tsukuyomi, a powerful illusion that traps targets in a nightmare world that tortures them. While Amaterasu and Susano’o are a little harder to work into this particular build, Tsukuyomi is a lot easier to fit to the dnd format.

Physical Abilities

Itachi is one of the fastest characters in the series. In most video games, Itachi moves noticeably faster than the other characters. So a good build of Itachi should focus on mobility. However, just as important is the rapidness of his attacks. The more he can attack, the better.

Itachi is adept at fighting with shuriken (darts), kunai (daggers), and his short sword, all of which are finesse weapons.

Magical Abilities

All ninjas in the Naruto franchise are able to walk on water, walk up vertical surfaces, disguise themselves as other people, and create non-corporeal clones of themselves.

Every member of the Uchiha Clan has an affinity for Fire ninjutsu, and Itachi’s secondary affinity is Water ninjutsu.

Itachi takes the standard ninja clones one step further, creating his famous Crow Clone, an illusory clone of himself that disperses into a flock of crows upon being damaged. Itachi uses these crows to confuse, distract, and disorient his opponents.

Itachi is the strongest master of illusion magic in the series. Itachi has caused his foes to feel pain from shuriken he never threw, fight someone made to look like Itachi with illusions, turn another master illusionist’s genjutsu against her, and has made people waste time and energy fighting the air instead of him.

Itachi’s Spellbook & Feats

Mobility Haste (Sorcerer, Wizard) Longstrider (Bard, Druid, Ranger, Wizard) Mobile (Feat)

Basic Ninja Abilities Alter Self (Sorcerer, Wizard) Disguise Self (Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard) Spider Climb (Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard) Water Walk (Artificer, Cleric, Druid, Ranger, Sorcerer)

Fire Aganazzar’s Scorcher (Sorcerer, Wizard) Delayed Fireball Blast (Sorcerer, Wizard) Dragon’s Breath (Sorcerer, Wizard) Fireball (Sorcerer, Wizard) Fire Bolt (Sorcerer, Wizard) Flaming Sphere (Druid, Wizard) Immolation (Sorcerer, Wizard) Investiture of Flame (Druid, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard) Scorching Ray (Sorcerer, Wizard)

Water Control Water (Cleric, Druid, Wizard) Shape Water (Druid, Sorcerer, Wizard) Tidal Wave (Druid, Sorcerer, Wizard) Wall of Water (Druid, Sorcerer, Wizard) Watery Sphere (Druid, Sorcerer, Wizard)

Sharingan Alert (Feat) Arcane Eye (Wizard) Defensive Duelist (Feat) Detect Magic (Bard, Cleric, Druid, Paladin, Sorcerer, Wizard) Dispel Magic (Bard, Cleric, Druid, Paladin, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard) Foresight (Bard, Druid, Warlock, Wizard) Slow (Sorcerer, Wizard) True Seeing (Bard, Cleric, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard)

Illusions, Counters, Crows, & Redirection Blur (Artificer, Sorcerer, Wizard) Confusion (Bard, Druid, Sorcerer, Wizard) Counterspell (Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard) Enemies Abound (Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard) Flock of Familiars (Warlock, Wizard) Hallucinatory Terrain (Bard, Druid, Warlock, Wizard) Illusory Dragon (Wizard) Major Image (Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard) Minor Illusion (Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard) Mirage Arcane (Bard, Druid, Wizard) Mirror Image (Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard) Mislead (Bard, Wizard) Phantasmal Force (Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard) Phantasmal Killer (Wizard) Programmed Illusion (Bard, Wizard) Project Image (Bard, Wizard) Psychic Scream (Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard) Seeming (Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard) Silent Image (Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard) Simulacrum (Wizard) Synaptic Static (Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard)

Tsukuyomi Cause Fear (Warlock, Wizard) Eyebite (Warlock, Wizard) Fear (Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard) Feeblemind (Bard, Druid, Warlock, Wizard) Maddening Darkness (Warlock, Wizard) Mental Prison (Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard) Mind Spike (Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard) Power Word: Pain (Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard) Weird (Wizard)

Get to Class

Itachi’s mix of martial and magical combat means he’s going to be multiclassing. While he could be an Arcane Trickster Rogue, there’s a wider selection of spells that a Wizard class would help him with. So, a good build for Itachi is a mix of Wizard, Rogue, and a little bit of Monk for the unarmored defense. As a rogue, the most useful subclass for him is the Scout, as it allows him to disengage whenever enemies get too close, letting him keep his distance in a fight. As a monk, the Way of Kensei will give Itachi the use of the Agile Parry and the Kensei’s shot, which will improve his aim with ranged weapon attacks. But the most important class for an Itachi build is a School of Illusions Wizard.

Stats and Proficiencies

First and foremost, Itachi needs to have a high AC because pinning this guy down is nigh impossible. So the higher you can make his AC, the better off he’ll be. So Dexterity is going to take top billing. As a Wizard, he’s going to cast spells with his Intelligence modifier, so that’s the next priority. Due to his monk levels and Itachi’s keen Sharingan eyes, Wisdom is going to be the next most important. Next, Deception is a vital part of convincing people to believe your illusions are real, so a good Charisma modifier is needed. Next up is Strength. because Anime characters are pretty strong. And we’ll have to dump Constitution, but as long as he can avoid being hit, that shouldn’t be too much of an issue.

Itachi is a prodigy, becoming an elite secret police officer by the age most of us are popping pimples and worrying about asking that special someone to the dance. As such, he’s going to have a lot of skills. Luckily, being a Rogue gives Itachi more skills to choose from and more expertise. His skills include: Acrobatics (Dex) Athletics (Str) Deception (Cha) Insight (Wis) Intimidation (Cha) Investigation (Int) Perception (Wis) Sleight of Hand (Dex) Stealth (Dex)

This build was particularly frustrating. Not because I didn’t know how to build him, but because it got accidentally deleted when I was halfway through it. Still, I hope I’ve built Itachi the right way to encompass his abilities and fighting style. I did my own level 20 build which you can check out right [here]. Do you agree with how I built Itachi? Do you have a better suggestion for how to build him? And I’m taking requests. Do you have a character you’d like to see me build? Let me know and I’ll see you next time in the Dragon’s Dungeon.

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haxballfan-blog · 4 years

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When You're Sad, Your Skin Is Sad

Correlation doesn't prove causation, but I can't help but notice that both times I’ve lived in my teenage bedroom I’ve felt especially sad. In high school, it was an angry sadness that sought attention. But when I came back to my parents house in March to ride out COVID, the sadness became deep and dull—about everything and nothing. I go to bed dreading the next day like it holds a big test I haven’t studied for. In the morning, I alternately jolt awake while it’s still dark, or tether myself to my comforter well into the workday. I’ve been very privileged in the ways I’ve experienced the past few months, but also very anxious. And actually, the CDC estimates that 40-percent of adults exhibit symptoms of anxiety or depressive disorders as of this past July. (In 2019, that number was 11-percent.) So, yes, I’m crying a lot more than usual; maybe you are too. I’m also breaking out more than usual—and you?

“Yes, stress causes you to break out,” says Dr. Amy Wechsler, who, as one of only a handful of doctors in the US board-certified in both dermatology and psychiatry, is uniquely qualified to answer questions about this kind of stuff—she even wrote the book on it. Dr. Wechsler cites a well-known study done on a college campus during exam week, where researchers found a strong correlation between stress and the severity of acne. “But exam period is like two weeks long, and when the exams go away the breakouts go away. Imagine if you had exam period for five months, you know? That’s like what we’re going through right now.”

According to Dr. Wechsler, the root of stress acne lies in a molecule called cortisol. Cortisol is a hormone that’s pumped out by the body to fight illness, control blood sugar levels, regulate metabolism, and influence memory formation. In general it’s anti-inflammatory, but when you’re stressed, your body responds by producing more cortisol than it would normally as part of the fight-or-flight response meant to keep you alert when you need to be. If that stress is prolonged, and you don’t have the proper coping mechanisms to deal with it, cortisol starts to act very inflammatory.

“Inflammation is the root cause of acne, and eczema, and psoriasis,” says Dr. Wechsler, who also adds that high levels of cortisol over a long period of time will break down collagen, the molecule in your skin that keeps it looking plump. “That’s why when people are really stressed out for a while, they look like they aged overnight.” For a good, obvious example of this phenomenon, take a look at a photo of President Obama in his first year as president compared to his last. Cortisol also weakens your skin’s natural barrier, so you’ll start to experience more transepidermal water loss. Several months of anxiety may leave you with a totally different skin type: even if your skin is normally oily, it will start to dry out and get more sensitive. Dr. Wechsler notes that when your barrier is compromised, your skin is more likely to react to something that normally wouldn’t cause a problem. “That’s when people say things like, ‘I’ve been using the same product forever, they haven’t changed their ingredients, but now I can’t tolerate it.’”

The tricky part about cortisol is that once levels are high, it can be difficult to bring them down on your own. At minimum, you need to make sure you’re getting an adequate amount of sleep each night, which can be difficult when you’re feeling anxious. “Cortisol is at its lowest for everybody during sleep, and healing molecules like beta-endorphins, growth hormones, and oxytocin,” a mood enhancer, “are always at their highest,” says Dr. Wechsler, who compares the molecules’ relationship to a see-saw. If you’re not getting much sleep, you’re not giving the anti-inflammatories a chance to catch up to the cortisol.

During the daytime, you can sort of hack your body chemicals by engaging in activities that directly trigger a release of those happy molecules. Completing your skincare routine floods your brain with dopamine, otherwise known as the “feel-good neurotransmitter.” So would cooking a complicated dinner, or organizing your bedroom, or finishing a book. A workout can help balance too-low endorphins, a fact I always felt was fallacy until I experienced my first runner’s high a few months ago. Not into exercise? Pop on a John Mulaney stand up special—any will do!—for a rush of endorphins you don’t have to sweat for. And to raise your oxytocin levels, turn down the lights and grab your vibrator. Sex drive can lower when you’re depressed, but each time you orgasm your body releases cortisol-lowering, calm-inducing oxytocin.

Of course, these things won’t stop you from feeling anxious, but they might help you feel a little bit better on the day-to-day, and you also may see a difference in your skin. “When people are very anxious, they feel this loss of control over what’s going on in their lives, and normal routines fall by the wayside because they feel unimportant,” Dr. Wechsler explains. “A skincare routine gives you back a little control,” she adds, conceding that, at the very least, 10 minutes of caring for yourself will feel better than reading the news, or scrolling through Instagram.

The absolute easiest, low-effort way to help balance cortisol? For a sad person at least, it’s crying. Scientists aren’t quite sure how or why, but studies show that a good crying session decreases cortisol levels. It was once widely believed that tears were a way to expel excess stress hormones, but now, most researchers think that the benefits of crying have to do with social signaling: just getting out the message that you’re in distress seems to help alleviate some of that distress. And, if you’re crying to somebody, they’re likely to give you a hug, rub your back, or stroke your hair—all triggers for oxytocin.

But while crying is good for the skin internally, it can leave your face feeling… not so great. Which is the reason I called Dr. Wechsler in the first place—I wear my recent crying obviously, and am left frantically icing my face before morning meetings and check-ins with family. Beyond how I look, my post-crying face hurts. My eyes get incredibly puffy, and I often find myself stuck between a rock and a hard place when I cry at night. It happens, without fail, after I do my skincare routine, and I wasn’t sure whether the salty tears left on my skin were further contributing to breakouts. To make my outsides match my insides after a solid catharsis, I wanted to figure out a post-crying best practice—a sad girl beauty routine, if you will.

What I’d learn is that your eyes work overtime to produce tears, which draws an abundance of blood to the surface of your eyelids. If you cry at night, that blood doesn’t have anywhere to go—it pools in your face when you’re lying flat. “If you’re crying during the day and you’re standing up and walking around, gravity will take the swelling from your eyelids, bring it down your face, and flush it out,” adds Dr. Wechsler. For those particularly concerned about morning puffiness, you can stay upright until the swelling subsides, or try Dr. Weschler’s favorite method. “Put a teaspoon in a glass of ice water, let it get really cold, and then take the back of the teaspoon and put it on your eyelid with a little bit of pressure. Both the cold and the pressure really help those blood vessels calm back down,” says Dr. Wechsler, who learned the tip from one of her model patients. Doing that right away will probably help prevent morning puffiness, but if you aren’t feeling up to it, just go to sleep and try to keep your head elevated with an extra pillow. You can always try the spoon trick (and some vertical action) in the morning.

As for the tears themselves, Dr. Wechsler recommends rinsing them off to abate dryness. If you’ve cried within a half hour of doing your skincare routine, you can rinse with a gentle cleanser (or water, if you think another wash will be too drying) and re-apply your skincare products. Otherwise, just rinse and moisturize again.

Remember how I mentioned cortisol is difficult to lower on your own? If you’re experiencing symptoms of anxiety and depression, you might also consider seeking out the help of a trained therapist. While it’s easy to ruminate on how we look on the outside, it’s important to emphasize that this skin issue is indicative of a larger, internal problem. Aside from the auxiliary benefit of helping balance your skin, talking to someone can help alleviate the feelings of loneliness, grief, and uncertainty you might be feeling right now. Therapy for Black Girls, the National Queer & Trans Therapists of Color Network, and Open Path Collective all offer remote therapy options at accessible price points. You might also check out Psychology Today’s list of therapists, which is quite comprehensive—you can filter results by things like specialty, sexuality, and race. If you’re a Black woman, you can also apply for a grant from The Loveland Foundation to subsidize your sessions.

Knowing that my skin is feeling as vulnerable as I am right now, I’ve been taking it easy with my skincare. And the benefit is twofold: nixing breakout treatments lets my skin actually heal, and using fewer products means I’m more likely to actually do my routine (even when I don’t feel like it). I’ve noticed new pimples subsiding after fortifying my compromised skin barrier with products rich in ceramides, natural moisturizing factors, and lipids. I’ve also been chasing opportunities to feel good as often as I can, masked and tiptoeing around the border of my own shrunken comfort zone. Still the breakouts, and the tears, come in waves. But then again, they always have.

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supercasey · 5 years

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Sanders Sides Battlebots AU Part 1: The Bots, Drivers, and Lore (for the time being)

Okay, people actually seem interested in this, so @elvis-has-been-dug and @evelyn-paine, this one is for you two (and also to all the people who liked the first post, lol). ((Putting this under a readmore because... it’s about to get LONG. ALSO: for people who don’t know, Janus is my headcanon name for Deceit, Romulus is my take on Original Creativity (AKA before The Split), and William is my OC for Thomas’ Procrastination!))

Okay, I fixed it and added everything, but I swear to god, if Tumblr makes the formatting shit, I’m gonna eat a brick.

The Builders/Bots (In order of experience)

Bot Name: Undercover Driver: Janus Salem Driver’s Age: 45 Weapon Type: Wildcard Mini Bot: None Mini Type: None Years Competing: 27 Number of Giant Nuts Won: 5 Number of Giant Bolts Won: 0 About the Bot: A very adaptable bot, Janus will make Undercover anything he needs it to be. Whether it’s a vertical spinner, a full-body spinner, a horizontal spinner, an axe, a wedge, a flipper; you name it, Undercover’s probably been made into it at some point for a match. In any case, Undercover is a very well built bot, and is difficult to strategize against, but what it has in strategy it lacks in driving, as Janus doesn’t have the razor sharp reflexes he once possessed as a young man. About the Driver: Janus has been involved with Battlebots since the very beginning, founding the first public competitions alongside Romulus. He actually had romantic feelings for Romulus, but due to the competitive (and somewhat homophobic) atmosphere they were surrounded by, the two of them had to keep their relationship a secret, which was just fine by Janus. Unfortunately for everyone who knew him, Romulus died at thirty-six from a sudden heart attack, and out of sympathy and genuine love for the kids, Janus adopted Romulus’ twin sons; a controversial move at the time, to say the least. Nowadays, Janus is still involved with Battlebots, despite the pressure to retire, and is intent on winning at least one more Giant Nut before he throws in the towel; besides, he has to teach these new kids who’s boss!

Bot Name: The King Driver: Romulus Magnus Driver’s Age: 46 (Deceased - Died at 36) Weapon Type: Horizontal Spinner Mini Bot: Princess Mini Type: Propeller Years Competing: 17 Number of Giant Nuts Won: 4 Number of Giant Bolts Won: 0 About the Bot: Horrifyingly powerful horizontal spinner, The King is up there in deadliness with the likes of Tombstone and Minotaur. He’s fairly durable, due to his driver having over a decade of experience under his belt, and every wound seems at most a temporary inconvenience. Princess is more for show than anything else, but she still packs a fiery punch when used correctly. Unfortunately, The King and Princess have both been retired for many years now, but their designs still inspire many bots into existence, allowing their legacy to continue. About the Driver: One of the veterans of Battlebots, Romulus is one of the first names people in this competition associate with the idea of being gone too soon. Alas, Romulus died at thirty-six from an undiagnosed heart condition, which triggered a heart attack, killing him within twenty-four hours of his heart attack happening. While alive, Romulus was a bit unpredictable in the ring, switching between being everyone’s kindly father figure and the Battlebox miscreant. Nowadays, his twin sons Roman and Remus continue his legacy, most assuredly making their father proud from wherever his spirit now resides.

Bot Name: Tuff Pupp Driver: Patton Picani Driver’s Age: 27 Weapon Type: Wedge Mini Bot: Pretty Kitty Mini Type: Spinner Years Competing: 7 Number of Giant Nuts Won: 0 Number of Giant Bolts Won: 1 About the Bot(s): Very cutesy looking bot; sturdy, low to the ground, and very fucking durable (on par with the likes of Duck! tbh). Can survive several hits from Tombstone on a good day, but don’t expect those giant googly eyes to stay on after a fight. Pretty Kitty is a fan favorite, and although it usually gets busted pretty quickly, it’s become famous for once crippling Undercover and winning the match for Tuff Pupp (it’s also a favorite because Patton let’s kids in the crowd drive Pretty Kitty for him, and then gives them a cat-themed baseball cap afterwards). About the Driver: Patton Picani has been raised in the midst of Battlebots since he was a young teen, on account of his father being the arena announcer for the show. After he came of age and went through college, Patton built Tuff Pupp and entered the ring. From the very beginning, Patton has been a big fan favorite, his iconic puppy onesie and cat baseball caps for the kids making him rather endearing. He may seem like a total softie, but his bot is anything but, and while the fans adore him, fellow bot builders know to fear him and his building skills.

Bot Name: Falsehood Driver: Logan Wu Driver’s Age: 26 Weapon Type: Flipper Mini Bot: None Mini Type: None Years Competing: 6 Number of Giant Nuts Won: 1 Number of Giant Bolts Won: 1 About the Bot(s): Hydraulics flipper on par with the likes of Bronco (they tested which bot could launch a dryer the highest, but Bronco won by a few feet). Not a lot of real flashiness to the design, but is painted black with dark blue accents. Durable, but not quite as durable as Tuff Pupp. Very reliable, but it’s hydraulics have failed on it before in the ring. Keep an eye on this one in a Free for All match; it’ll launch you the minute you look away. About the Driver: Logan Wu is a college graduate who made his first appearance a few years back with his college robotics club and their bot, but after a very embarrassing loss it seemed like his club would never return to Battlebots again. The next year, Logan returned, but this time with his OWN bot, and with him as the driver. He managed to get to the semi-finals with Falsehood, and has since been considered one of Battlebots’ best builders. He’s not as flashy as the likes of Tuff Pupp and Princey, but he still has a very loyal fanbase (and he definitely earned some new fans that time he wore his unicorn onesie for a match against Patton).

Bot Name: Princey Driver: Roman Magnus Driver’s Age: 23 Weapon Type: Full-Body Spinner Mini Bot: None Mini Type: None Years Competing: 5 Number of Giant Nuts Won: 1 Number of Giant Bolts Won: 0 About the Bot(s): A fairly large full-body spinner that clearly took a great deal of inspiration from The King, save for plenty of modern day upgrades and improvements alongside Roman’s own creative touch (plus it’s a full-body spinner, unlike The King, which only had a small horizontal spinner). Princey is very much feared in the ring, capable of taking down bots as durable as Tuff Pupp and Duck! on a good day, though he isn’t invincible. More often than not, Princey ends up breaking himself on anything he hits too hard; it’s a good thing that Roman’s so great at repairs. About the Driver: Raised alongside his twin brother since the beginning of Battlebots, Roman has always dreamed of being one of the big stars, wanting to compete with the likes of Tombstone and Bronco. He originally thought he’d grow up to inherit his father’s bot, The King, but after Romulus passed away from a heart attack, Roman committed himself to building his own bot, and has indeed become one of the stars he always dreamed of becoming someday. He’s not as rambunctious as his twin brother, but Roman is definitely famous in the Battlebox, and he’ll be damned if anyone takes his spotlight.

Bot Name: Forbidden Fruit Driver: Remus Magnus Driver’s Age: 23 Weapon Type: Full-Body Spinner Mini Bot: Jeffery Mini Type: Spinner Years Competing: 5 Number of Giant Nuts Won: 0 Number of Giant Bolts Won: 2 About the Bot(s): Very similar to Princey, but it’s a little smaller and is painted neon green instead of red (though it has a few red “blood splatters” in order to tease Roman). Somehow even less capable of taking it’s own hits than Princey, but it does much more damage, as Remus more or less put all of it’s weight in kinetic damage. Jeffery is a bit of an odd mini bot, oftentimes doing more harm than good, but he’s a fan favorite, and usually gets a lot of laughs from the audience when he (inevitably) breaks himself on something midway through the match. About the Driver: Raised alongside his twin brother since the beginning of Battlebots, Remus has been dying to get a genuine taste of the action. Unlike Roman, he never wanted to pilot The King, and his father’s passing, while absolutely devastating for him, at least removed the pressure to pilot his dad’s bot someday. Now having his own bots in Forbidden Fruit and Jeffery, Remus is infamous in the Battlebox for his cheap tactics and maniacal laughter, resulting in him being either hated or adored by builders and viewers alike.

Bot Name: Procrastination Station Driver: William Jackson Driver’s Age: 25 Weapon Type: Horizontal Spinner Mini Bot: Chippy Mini Type: Propeller Years Competing: 4 Number of Giant Nuts Won: 0 Number of Giant Bolts Won: 1 About the Bot(s): Secretly based off of The King, Procrastination Station is quickly becoming infamous in the ring for it’s incredible build and it’s excellent driving. Not quite as durable as Tuff Pupp, or as strong as Forbidden Fruit, or even as adaptable as Undercover, PS makes up for it’s shortcomings in all out speed and maneuverability, making matches with it intense and usually very long. Not exactly a big time winner, PS is still very much feared in the Battlebox, and is more than capable of winning the Giant Nut someday… there’s also Chippy, but he’s more of an accessory than anything else. About the Driver: Unlike most of the drivers/builders currently competing, Billy didn’t have any sort of family members or connections to Battlebots, instead growing up watching the matches from the couch at home. Once old enough, and after graduating with high honors in college, Billy started making a name for himself in Battlebots with his beloved Procrastination Station. Though he doesn’t have the benefits of following a legacy, he also doesn’t have the setbacks, something he considers a great advantage. Billy comes off as a bit slow, at least at first glance and in interviews, but anyone who’s faced him can testify that he’s incredibly brilliant, just quiet about it.

Bot Name: Charlotte Driver: Virgil Salem Driver’s Age: 19 Weapon Type: Vertical Spinner Mini Bot: Lil' Reaper Mini Type: Wedge Years Competing: 2 Number of Giant Nuts Won: 1 Number of Giant Bolts Won: 0 About the Bot(s): A small but deadly bot, Charlotte has already racked up an impressive amount of knock-outs since her debut last year, and is known for showing little mercy on the battlefield (unless your insides are exposed, of course). Charlotte is a tiny, black painted vertical spinner, complete with purple “patches” all over her. Lil’ Reaper isn’t much for damage output, but it’s been very useful for pinning bots for Charlotte during matches. About the Driver: Virgil is currently the youngest driver/builder in Battlebots, but has been driving since he was even younger, as his adoptive father- Janus Salem- has been bringing him along for every season since he was adopted, even letting him pilot Undercover a few times as a young teen. There are rumors going around that Virgil and Janus had a falling out, based off of their explosive interactions in front of the cameras and in the ring, but it’s all for show (well… not ALL of it, but Virgil doesn’t want to talk about that too much). The unspoken outcast/prodigy of the competition, Virgil is here with something to prove, and he’ll do anything to escape Janus’ shadow over his Battlebots career.

Little Headcanons/Things in the AU (So Far!!!)

Thomas and Jaun are the commentators for Battlebots, going very much with a best friends/occasional frenemies routine.

Talon, Terrance, and Valorie are all the judges.

Remy is the Battlebox commentator (basically that means he runs around interviewing all of the builders/getting into shenanigans with them (AKA pulling pranks with the twins)). He definitely has a very sassy attitude, and let’s be honest, he’s getting bleeped (alongside Jaun, of course) every third word he speaks.

Picani is the battle arena announcer, and unlike the amazing Faruq of real life Battlebots, his starting lines/jokes are always very family friendly/adorable. However, whenever Patton is battling someone, Remy will sometimes be made to take over for announcing the fight (which leads to him cussing like a sailor, much to Picani and Patton’s horror (like father like son, lol)).

Janus and Romulus are the veterans of Battlebots, but with Romulus gone, this just leaves Janus as the “Battlebox Grandpa” according to everyone else (Virgil got him a “World’s Okayest Grandpa” mug and he unironically loves it… secretly, of course).

Janus and Virgil have a fake “Father vs Son” rivalry thing going on; it started in Virgil’s first season of Battlebots, when he was eighteen, and has continued into the current season. Janus is fairly convinced it’s all for fun, oftentimes having to hide his laughs/chuckles whenever he playfully makes fun of Virgil. Virgil, on the other hand, is actually a little angry with Janus, so it’s not all fake for him. The worst it’s gotten is a staged “fight” they had between matches, which was quickly broken up by security; neither of them were disqualified or anything, since no one got all that hurt, but Janus had a blackeye and Virgil’s knuckles were sore afterwards.

The twins 100% have a legitimate rivalry going on, which has resulted in several fistfights that have nearly gotten them thrown out of the competition altogether (their father being a fan favorite is pretty much all that’s kept them from being banned, plus the competition runners know it’s (mostly) in good fun and not actual attempts at fratricide). They also play pranks on each other constantly, but will occasionally team up to prank a fellow competitor (last year they rigged one of Logan’s pens to spray him with ink, which resulted in a famous clip of Logan running after the twins while soaked in blue ink, screaming bloodymurder).

I don’t really have a lot of ships for this AU other than Romuceit (Romulus/Deceit), seeing as there’s a lot of family stuff going on, but I’ll probably have hints at Logicality and repressed Prinxiety (Prinxiety I’m a bit scared to fiddle with, seeing as they grew up together, but I dunno still).

Back to the lore: the shit surrounding Romulus and Janus’ families (oh fucking boy).

Only a few years into his Battlebots career, Romulus got news that an ex-flame of his from college had given birth to twin boys; not only were they his, but she didn’t want anything to do with them anymore (they were about three years old at the time). So long as Romulus agreed not to publicly shame his ex/say who she was, she told him that she’d give him full custody of the twins, and he immediately agreed, taking both boys a month after he found out about their existence.

Fans and fellow builders alike believed that Romulus would take a season off to take care of his kids, and a few even feared he’d retire, but to everyone’s shock, Romulus appeared the very next season (this all happened during the off season) with both Roman and Remus riding on his shoulders, Romulus appearing happier than he had in many years.

Romulus took to fatherhood quickly, and with the occasional (secret) helping hand from Janus with babysitting/raising the boys, he continued with his Battlebots career, even winning his first Giant Nut the year he brought in the twins (there’s a famous picture out there of them posing with their dad in front of the Giant Nut).

After that, Romulus considered his boys good luck, and brought them for every single season he competed in. This delighted both fans and builders, as the twins were now considered to be just as much a part of Romulus’ bot as the bot itself (though, the twins occasionally got into trouble when they got older, mostly from pranking other builders, but they never sabotaged anyone or anything extreme like that).

When the twins were around eight years old, Janus adopted a four year old out of the blue (well, out of the blue for viewers and strangers, but he’d been wanting a kid for years before even Romulus got his kids). The kid was named Virgil, and he too quickly became famous in the Battlebots community, oftentimes found being carried around by Janus or napping underneath his father’s workbench.

As expected, the twins became fast friends with Virgil, but unlike the twins, Virgil was very quiet, and was selectively mute until he was about seven years old. Even so, Virgil was still a fan favorite, Janus having him push the button for battles and even letting Virgil occasionally pilot Undercover once he reached twelve years old.

Unfortunately, when the twins were thirteen and Virgil was nine, Romulus very suddenly passed away from an unexpected heart attack. This caused a great deal of drama within the community, viewers and builders alike unsure of what would happen next. After all, didn’t Romulus have sole custody of the twins? Who would take them in? And what about The King?

In an unexpected turn of events, Janus offered to take custody of the twins. This sparked an uproar within the builders community, many speculating that Janus, who was already infamous for his cheap tactics and antisocial behavior, was only taking in the twins so he could steal The King and misuse his blueprints.

In the end, it took Janus agreeing to not touch The King in order to have custody of the twins (something that shouldn’t have been necessary, as he didn’t even want The King, but rumors spiral), and even then there was great unrest, as some truly disgusting rumors started flying around, especially when Janus and Romulus’ romantic relationship was outed to the public.

Nonetheless, Janus adopted both Roman and Remus, and continued to bring them and Virgil along for Battlebots competitions. There was an obvious shift in moods among the boys, all three of them mourning their dead father, but within a few years they returned to being Battlebots’ unofficial child stars.

((There’s more I’ll probably talk about later, like how the twins are getting along (they’re not) and how Janus and Virgil’s falling out happened, but I’ll do that later on; I wanna see if people even give a fuck about this AU first.))

General Rules/Things concerning Battlebots for anyone who knows fuck all about Battlebots

1. More or less, this is a fighting robot competition, but not like the stuff that was on-screen for a few minutes in Big Hero 6: if you want, I can link people with some really good fight examples if you’re curious of how these fights go down.

2. Battlebots is a robot fighting competition, and is one of the most famous ones in the world, located in the USA.There are two Big Trophies (that my dumbass knows of) that you can win in Battlebots: the most coveted prize is the grand prize, that being the “Giant Nut”, which is awarded to the last Bot standing at the end of the competition. The other trophy/prize is the “Giant Bolt”, which is awarded to the season’s Desperado Tournament. (The Desperado Tournament is basically everyone’s last chance to get into the final 16/the true championships, so if your Bot has had a shitty season so far, it’s not a terrible idea to enter the Desperado, but beware, it tends to leave your Bot pretty fucked up by the end, so you’d better be able to repair it afterwards.)3. While it’s all about wrecking/destroying the other team’s Bot, there IS a sense of common courtesy in the competition. It’s good sportsmanship not to kick a Bot while it’s down (unless the Bot’s builder consents/requests you to, which oftentimes happens late in the game/just to please the crowd), and it’s considered very disrespectful to purposefully destroy someone’s internal wiring (say a Bot busts open, and all it’s wires are hanging out of it: it’s considered very inappropriate to then wreck those wires, and you’ll probably get a lot of shit for it in the Battlebox afterwards).4. Battlebots is already somewhat of a “family” thing for a lot of teams, so I’m not just pulling that one out of my ass. One of the most famous family teams is “Son of Whyachi” and pretty much everyone in their family is now involved with Battlebots.5. The gimmick thing that some Bots have isn’t just a dumb joke for Patton: look up the likes of Witch Doctor, Rainbow, and Kraken to get a taste of what I’m talking about.6. I think that’s most of the general stuff… if you have anymore questions, shoot me an Ask/PM and I’ll try to help as much as I can (Just please don’t spoil any of 2019’s Battlebots for me, as I’m not caught up with the show yet)! I’ll post more in-depth rules later on, so if you don’t want to read through all the technical garble on Battlebots’ rules document, I’ll have you covered soon enough!

That’s all I’ve got so far (I’ll probably provide more rules if people want them, and as stated, I’m more than happy to provide good battle examples... I’ll also try to draw/design the bots, but no promises because I’ll certainly suck at it)! Feel free to fuck around with this AU, but please tag me in anything you create, as I’d love to see it!

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guardiansofnosgoth · 6 years

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Chapter Six: Time Streaming

Once considered impenetrable, the decrepit Dumahim city sprouted out of the mountains like a cypress. None remained to salute the faded purple flags waving in the wind. Skeletal remains of humans and vampires littered the grounds. Those not found by scavengers had been mummified by the cold. Raziel passed them without looking, wielding a rusty halberd. Grey snow clung to his boots.

Fatigue and strong winds forced him to land here. The path to Moebius’ cave lay on the other side of these ruins. There were no tracks, no signs of habitation, apart from a few hawk nests.

Last he passed this way he had encountered several Dumahim squatting in ruins. At the time he never gave them a second thought. Dumah’s death scattered his offspring far and wide. To him they were merely souls to prey on, a nuisance delaying his ultimate revenge. Now Raziel puzzled over their presence.

Due to the city’s close proximity to the Great Northern Smokestack and high altitude the weather remained chilly year round, becoming especially inhospitable during the winter. There did not appear to be enough animal life to support a small population of vampires. The human slaves once imprisoned here had moved on to greener pastures. What were they feeding on?

As he trekked he noticed something unusual near the outer wall. A row of oblong holes, just the right size for rabbits. He stopped and stared. Not since Kain’s conquest had he felt compelled to hunt such pitiful sources of blood. It had been his last resort. Burning with shame, he knelt down and tried to dig something out of the hole.

No luck. The burrow was too deep. Maybe the rodents living here were adapted to Dumahim attempting to fish them out of their burrows with their long tongues. He wondered if it was even occupied. Their tracks could be hidden beneath the fresh snow. He pinched his brow. Finding out probably wasn’t worth the embarrassment. Besides, he was losing time.

The sun started to set, turning the ashen ground yellow. This was the end of his fourth day. Kain had given him only five.

Beyond the deserted city a narrow path wound through the mountains, leading to a secluded landing surrounded by steep cliffs where rested the legendary cave of Moebius the Time Streamer. A massive stone gate protected the mouth of the cave, carved with the image of Moebius’ divination bowl. The doors were sealed. Raziel already knew how to gain entry using the large sundial in the middle of the clearing. However, he stopped as he caught a glimpse of imprints in the snow.

These tracks clearly belonged to vampires. Their two toed talons were distinct. One set was unique, indicating a large vampire that walked on its toes instead of flat footed - a Turelim. The others appeared to be Dumahim. Raziel sampled some of the snow near the tracks and ran it through his fingers. Still soft. These tracks were fresh.

The tracks originated from the other side of the cliff. They concentrated around the door, perhaps trying to determine a means of entry. After circling the cliff, apparently searching for something, they returned to their point of origin and continued further east into the mountains.

This did not look like the behavior of a hunting party, more like a scouting party, one not sent by Kain. These must be the Zillahim Nogah warned him about. He wondered what she hoped to uncover here.

Luminescent crystals arranged in hanging bowls provided minimal light. These same crystals sprouted from the floor and walls in large formations as he traveled deeper into the cave, into the room said to have contained a small museum of artifacts stolen from across time. That room was now barren, deformed and cracked by moisture and time. At the other end of the museum a pair of stone snakes carved from the walls of the cave guarded the final passage into Moebius’ divining chamber. Although the cave’s structure appeared to be less-than-natural, perhaps modified by humans or ancient vampires, this perfectly circular room with its smooth, decorative walls felt most alien, practically untouched.

In the center of that room stood a brass tripod taller than Raziel. On each foot of the tripod rested a gold orb. To the vexation of centuries of plunderers, the orbs were inextricably attached. Moebius’ cauldron, once used to show the young Kain his future, hung from a chain fastened to the tripod where the three legs met. Raziel ran his hand along the inside. No visions stirred. He might as well have sought destiny in a cook pot.

Filling the cauldron should make it useable, he thought. Adding a few handfuls of ashen snow from outside, he used the tinder he collected from the abandoned Dumahim camp near the cave entrance to start a fire. The tinder was cold and rotten. After much frustration he managed to keep the fire going long enough to produce water. Even though it filled less than half, it was the best he could do without trekking back toward Dumah’s city and risking confrontation with the patrolling Zillahim. Raziel gripped the tripod as he leaned over the cauldron.

“Show me the future,” he commanded.

The cauldron showed him dirty water.

Perhaps he needed to be more specific. Raziel mustered his authority and said, “Reveal to me the Nature Guardian’s fate!”

The cauldron revealed his muddy reflection. Raziel pinched his brow and lamented, “Fate, why do you torment me? I’m already too late to return to the Pillars in time. If I could just give that bastard what he wants he might finally let me live in peace.”

If only he arrived here sooner he would have had time to experiment. Unfortunately, continuous flight proved impossible without favorable winds. Even when the wind blew at his back he needed to leap from a high place if he hoped to gain sufficient altitude before he exhausted himself, despite his great jumping ability, and good perches became significantly harder to find after leaving the Necropolis.

On his second day of travel, out of desperation, he had tried to access his bat form. The spell failed him. Whether he had forgotten how to cast it or this form was no longer accessible to him he could not say for certain, but this handicap contributed to his current predicament.

“Stop that,” he said, slapping himself on the cheek, “No one wants to hear your blubbering. Forget about Kain. No matter what you will only achieve death if you stop fighting. Think! There must be more below, something you can use.”

As he pushed against the leg of the tripod, it rotated on a wheel concealed in the floor. Gears locked the wheel to the walls of the circular room, causing them to turn and block the entrance behind him, opening a path to the secret complex deeper within.

The complex was shaped like a vertical cylinder divided by several layers of wide circular rooms with stairs and hallways branching off and circling back to the center from top to bottom. A massive clockwork mechanism made up the backbone of the entire facility. It stood in the center of the rotunda on every floor. There was a gap of a few feet between the floor and the device, separated by a thin railing, and slumbering at the bottom of that well was the Chronoplast, Moebius’ grand time machine. To one side of the room, near a grouping of inoperable elevators, Raziel recognized the corroded statue of an old man. He paused to look at it.

Moebius the Time Streamer, Raziel’s human predecessor. He had met the man in person before. Moebius’ intentions for Nosgoth had been malevolent long before the corruption of the Pillars, a reminder that however the Pillars chose their Guardians it was not for purity of heart. Now only this cold statue remained, the last evidence of the man who had conspired to eradicate vampires through the manipulation of Raziel’s destiny.

He felt no kinship with this man. Indeed, he loathed him. By selfishly tampering with history, devoting himself to the rapacious will of a false god, Moebius asserted himself as the cause of Nosgoth’s suffering. He nearly destroyed Nosgoth entirely.

Raziel started by retracing his steps. He had been in a hurry to meet Kain on his first passage so perhaps he had missed something important. Most rooms were barren. One contained space for a hearth and a few other amenities, although no trappings of human habitation remained. Perhaps Kain pillaged them.

Half-way down Raziel found a large hall with a high vaulted ceiling supported by thick columns. There were two floors. The upper floor consisted of a walkway around the perimeter with oval balconies extending on either side and beyond those balconies were doorways connecting to other areas of the complex. On the lower floor the ground was black, different from other parts of the complex. Raziel crouched and ran his fingers across the surface. Some off the black stuff came off on his claws. Soot. As he combed the room he found fragments of charred wood and tiny scraps of paper in thin piles near the walls. Here and there he discovered little metal plaques engraved with letters and numbers, the kind you would find in a library.

Kain must have come here first. Once Kain had taken the knowledge he needed must have destroyed the rest, perhaps out of greed or perhaps to stop it from being used against him. Raziel frowned, recalling a time when he spent hours in Kain’s library with Melchiah and Rahab while they were young. Although he felt no remorse over what he had done he still experienced a pang of longing when he remembered how they used to be, a quiet regret that began long before his execution. He wondered if they ever felt it, too.

At any rate, Moebius’ library was of no use to him now. He needed to press on.

Hunger and vexation pursued him as he descended deeper into the facility. When he came to the chamber where he had seen his history laid out before him, deep underground near the Chronoplast, he found the device inoperable. Instead of a pulsating field of stars he saw only a cracked stone wall surrounded by a broken iron frame. On the save level, tightly sealed behind a stone door, he discovered row upon row of drawers, each containing a scroll protected by a bronze case. These scrolls were similar to star charts but more complex than any he had ever seen.

Something cracked beneath his foot. He stepped back, bending over to examine the object. About the size of a pocket watch, the device resembled an astrolabe. Its mechanical components appeared to be made of gold fitted to some odd red material similar to obsidian in weight and texture. In Kain’s tales Moebius used some sort of small device to hurl him fifty years back in time for the assassination of the Nemesis, then called William the Just. Raziel recalled how the device had activated of its own accord.

He stepped around the device, wisely choosing not to touch it, but after a few steps he returned and gently lifted it off the ground. On second thought, it might prove useful in the future. He decided to put it somewhere he could find it again.

Finally, he came to the Chronoplast itself. The Chronoplast was a domical chamber divided into three levels held up by arching square columns of white marble and blood jasper. On the highest level was a round gate, currently inactive. Brass cogs, dials, and gears adorned each of the platforms, rising upward and outward toward the highest point. An arcane mechanism hung from the domed ceiling; pincher-like, mechanical arms embraced around a glowing, yellow-green orb. Several smaller arms surrounded the orb, each ending in a bulb representing a planet. Surrounding this mechanism was a dark void undulating with stars.

Dark splotches of dried blood speckled the floor. These stains were the leftovers of his final battle with Kain before his sire lured him into the past. They were only a few weeks old. To Raziel, that battle seemed like lifetimes ago. When he tried to recall the white-hot rage that propelled him in pursuit of Kain, the effort left him drained.

Was that betrayal? Would his family despise him if they knew the way he felt about his brothers and Kain?

Sinking to the floor, Raziel sat on the bottom step with his weapon across his knees. Despite traveling so far from the Sanctuary of the Clans his mind felt no less chaotic. Perhaps it was even moreso. He hoped it was only hunger making him feel this way.

Hunger would have been no consequence in his wraith body. Lost souls and sluagh wandered the spectral realm, an endless source of food at his fingertips. Although he could still visit the spectral realm with Melchiah's gift he found himself an unwelcome stranger amongst the dead. Souls no longer gave him sustenance.

With no way to replenish his energy he would make Kain an easy target. The prospect of being imprisoned frightened him more than he cared to admit. However, fighting Kain was a different sort of prison. He could not run from him. With the Balance Pillar restored Kain could track him to the ends of the world, as evidenced by Callisto. Neither could he attempt to kill Kain. If he succeeded that would leave the young Circle in a dangerous position, possibly inciting the disaster he foresaw. Understanding this felt like choking.

That left only one option open to him: the Chronoplast. If he traveled back in time to a point when Moebius’ library was still intact he might find the knowledge he required to properly see into the future. This came with the added benefit of extending Kain’s ultimatum practically indefinitely. He would have time to feed, time to learn, and time to rest. Only, he needed to be reasonably certain of when he was going. Running afoul of Moebius could cut his plan - and Nosgoth’s future drastically short. Assuming Kain had not revisited the Chronoplast since returning to the present the time dials should still be set to the day of Ariel’s murder, when Moebius still lived. But what if he was wrong about that?

Raziel pondered the warp gates once used to connect distant parts of the empire. They ceased functioning after the Pillars’ rebirth, yet they might provide insight. The gates functioned synchronously regardless of physical distance. When Raziel activated the gate in his territory to visit the Sanctuary of the Clans, the Sanctuary’s gate would activate simultaneously and automatically by opening a portal to the Razielim capital. In other words, they became mirror images.

Kain returned to the present not long after the Pillars’ collapse, thirty years after Ariel’s murder, and after Moebius’ death. If the Chronoplast functioned across time the way the warp gates functioned across space, that meant that the settings Kain used on the Chronoplast in the past would be inverted in the present. By activating the Chronoplast without touching the dials it should transport him back to the exact moment Kain left Nosgoth’s history.

Spreading his wings for lift, Raziel leapt from the entryway and landed smoothly on the stairs on the other side leading up to the gate. Behind its frame was a stone wall. Raziel pulled a lever to activate the portal.

Unseen gears whirled and the air hummed with arcane power. Strange mechanisms stirred, causing the air to fluctuate like water inside the gate, filling the inside with stars. Raziel backed away from the gate, watching over his shoulder as the planetarium came to life with static and thunder. A bolt of electricity leapt from the central orb. It struck the lemniscate above the gate. White light burst from the portal with a ghostly wail. It closed like a fist, retracting into the passage, a puncture through time. Raziel approached the gate, shielding his eyes from the tunnel of swirling light.

White mist swirled around his boots. All noise ceased as he stepped through the gate. His flesh prickled as strange forces whisked him backward through time.

...

Fifteen hundred years ago the silent Chronoplast sprang to life. Dials turned, metallic arms swung into position, and the planetarium began to spin, faster and faster. Green lighting jolted from the device, striking the lemniscate above the gate.

Eerie winds played with Raziel’s hair as landed on the other side of the time gate. The chamber rumbled softly as it drained of power, the planetarium slowed to a stop, and the portal closed behind him with a soft hiss. As he descended the stairs, the end of his halberd clicking against the stone, he noted the change in the dials. No sign of Moebius.

Raziel unsealed the doors and stepped into the hall. He gripped the halberd steadily in both hands. Everything seemed quiet. As he crept up the circuitous stairs his nose scrunched up from a horrid acidic odor. Near the top of the stairs he came to an abrupt stop. Only a few feet away, the body of a grey demon lay in a pool of stale green blood. The demon was about twice Raziel’s size, body made up of a spindly grey exoskeleton, sturdy arms with pincer-like claws, each one the length and width of a longsword, and a head resembling a bull skull. Keeping his distance, Raziel prodded it with the staff of his halberd. Definitely dead. He grabbed one of the bony stalks on its back, now safe to touch, and rolled the body onto its side. Foul blood oozed from the jagged gashes across its chest, indicating recent death, along with the stench of burnt flesh. These wounds were consistent with the Soul Reaver. The three other demons strewn about the area suffered similar marks. Raziel grimaced in vindication. This could only be Kain’s handywork.

So the Hylden sent their dogs after Kain. They must have intended to stop him from returning to Nosgoth’s present with the purified Soul Reaver, but they clearly underestimated him - underestimated them. His eyes twinged in dismay of that misplaced nostalgia.

Unfortunately, Raziel would find no sustenance here. Pure demon blood was toxic to vampires. It might satiate him for a few minutes before its determinants drained him of his stamina and sanity, like a human succumbing to salt water poisoning.

In this time period the elevators appeared to be functional. They looked similar in design to the lift that took him to the top of the tower in the Sanctuary of the Clans, although their appearance was far more ornate, reminding him of the architecture in the ancient vampire forges. He decided to forgo their use for now, in case there were any live demons lurking in the halls.

Raziel wondered what he would discover in Moebius’ library in this era. Learning how to interpret his visions would satisfy Kain and ensure the future safety of the Pillars, but what about the Chronoplast itself? Surely the Pillars did not endow him with a gift forbidden. If he mastered the Chronoplast he should be able to prevent Janos from ever being captured by the Hylden, eliminating the need for rescue and leaving the young Kain with a more enviable ally. Raziel might prevent Janos from dying at the hands of the Sarafan. That would change the course of history all together. Moebius could have done it. Why not?

As he made his way through the complex he encountered more demon corpses. Occasionally he discovered a splattering of vampire blood, still wet. On second thought, considering the sacrifice inherent in changing his own destiny to the Soul Reaver, it would be better to start with something small. Janos was not the only person he wanted to save.

Raziel smelled smoke.

He sprinted and fluttered up the last flight of stairs and slid to a stop outside the library, the sounds of loud, heavy breathing and moist crunching alerting him to the presence of a large demon on the other side of the wall. He crouched on the balls of his feet and snuck around the corner.

Fine wooden shelves lined the walls between the support beams, each one lined with books of various sizes. Decorative rugs covered most of the lower floor, except for the raised hearth in the center, while on the upper level half-sized shelves made space for paintings of Nosgoth’s landscape. On the lower floor Sarafan banners hung between the shelves, burning. Little flames danced across the collection. Only the black demon looming near the entryway hampered Raziel from rushing in to save them.

This demon was more than three times Raziel’s size, a greater breed of demon with hard leathery skin and bulging muscle. Thick, curved horns grew from its back and the sides of its skull. One arm hung limp, rent by the Soul Reaver. Crouched over a pile of smoking books and broken furniture, it tore at an undefinable green mass of blood and meat clutched in its opposite hand, oblivious to him. The disfigured carcass of a smaller demon lay at its hooved feet.

From a cursory glance most of the library appeared unharmed. Only the shelves closest to the demon were beyond help. If he put it down quickly and avoided provoking its flame breath he could save the rest of the collection. Based on previous experience with black demons he knew it would use its flames against him unless they fought in close quarters, making trying to lure it out of the library too risky. Their thick skulls and armored skin prevented him from killing it in a single blow. He would have to get creative.

Letting out a battle cry, Raziel charged the demon with his halberd. The demon lifted its heavy head. Raziel vaulted into the air and stabbed the spike down into the demon’s exposed jugular. This maneuver would cost him his weapon, at least temporarily. The demon reared back, bellowing in pain and anger. Raziel swung around the pole, using his wings for balance as he avoided the demon’s swiping paw and flung himself onto its horns. All he needed to do was keep its attention on him until it bled out. Hanging onto the horn with his arms, he jabbed the sharp toes of his boot into the demon’s eye. Suddenly the demon lurched to the side. Raziel looked up just in time to see a bookshelf hurtling towards him. He stood up as the demon crashed into them, sending him hurtling to the floor.

Raziel looked up and saw a second shelf coming down on top of him. With no time to get out of the way he rolled onto his back, protecting his wings, and caught the shelves with his hands, his arms shuddering under the impact as books showered over and around him. As he tried to push the shelves away intense heat rushed across his body. Raziel’s blood ran cold. He tilted his head back, forced to shut his eyes against the scalding light that flashed between the jumbled books. “Damn it!”

How many books perished in that attack? Again Raziel tried to free himself. An enormous weight slumped onto the back of the bookshelf, pinning his arms to the floor and compressing his ribs. Green blood dripped through cracks in the wood. Another wave of heat crashed against Raziel as the demon loosed a second gout of flame from atop his latest tomb. Raziel let go.

Death came easy in the Spirit Forge. Not here.

Time ground to a halt as everything went blue-green. Fires froze, architecture distorted into a surreal parody of itself, and the floor became concave. Inside the spectral realm Raziel shivered. He rolled over and dragged himself out from under the bookshelf through a crevice revealed only in the spectral realm’s unique geography. As he staggered from the wreckage he felt the thousand icy teeth of death gnawing against his skin, reminding him why he found no safe harbor here.

The demon was invisible in the land of the dead. Most living creatures were. Demons could travel to and from the spectral realm with ease, but this one was too wounded. Raziel repositioned himself behind where he expected the demon to be. His head spun as his surroundings reformed to Moebius library in material realm. Color returned, his footing shifted as the floor returned to a flat surface, and heat and smoke assaulted his senses. Raziel covered his nose and mouth. In front of him the black demon hunched over the bookshelf with its back to him. With a wheeze the fountain of flame sputtered from its mouth. It sagged across the broken shelf, struggling to breathe. If Raziel was still down there he would have been crushed.

He tried to avoid looking at the rest of the library. Trying to rescue books from the burning library while that demon still fought for life would only put him in more danger. He scanned the immediate area until he spotted his halberd lying on the floor. The spike had broken off in the demon’s neck. He called the weapon into his hand. There was still the axe.

Raziel climbed onto the demon’s back. The demon stirred, tried to turn its head, however its broad shoulders and horns prevented it from aiming its fire. Gripping the halberd in both hands he raised his weapon over his head and brought the axehead down against the exposed side of the demon’s neck. With the first chop the demon roared and jostled beneath him, unable to lift its great weight. On the second strike blood bubbled and smoke hissed from its mouth. By the third Raziel became a butcher. He hacked until the thing stopped moving.

By now the smoke from the flames was so thick he could hardly see the way out. He dropped his weapon and grabbed as many books as he could carry off the floor. Hot ash burned his eyes and tongue. He put his shoulder to the wall and hurried alongside it until he found the exit. Dropping his bounty on the floor, he ran back inside and started pulling books from the first shelf he could find, repeating the marathon. Soon he could feel his flesh starting to burn. Out of desperation he began firing telekenitic projectiles in the direction where the heat was greatest. This had an effect like beating flames with a sack of dirt. He heard a crash as a shelf toppled over. Unable to withstand the heat, he fled the library.

Eventually the flames began to die down. The library was not ventilated enough to sustain an inferno for long. When the heat diminished Raziel charged back inside with a rolled up banner and used it to beat down the flames until the fire finally ceased. He saved as many books as he could from the lingering smoke. Only a fraction survived unscathed. There were simply too many.

Raziel sat on the ground next to the pile, coughing smoke. Soot covered his whole body. He looked at his pathetic bounty and held his head in his hands, lost somewhere between laughing or sobbing. Finally, he screamed. It was an animal rage, wordless hatred.

#time streamer #legacy of kain #soul reaver #blood omen #raziel #kain

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four-loose-screws · 6 years

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Fire Emblem 5 Umemura Novelization Translation - Chapter 5 Part 1

If you would like to start from the beginning, read a missed part, etc., click here!

Leif and the others continued south.

The Manster Army sent out multiple search parties and relentlessly chased after them.

Since the Manster Army specialized in cavalry units, they were gradually able to close the distance between them and Leif, and caught up after ten days.

“This is bad. We’re clearly outnumbered. What should we do?” Fergus whispered while looking back at the imperial soldiers chasing after them.

Lifis blurted out, “I hate to be the one to say it, but all we can do is run!”

“You’ve got a point...”

Karin flew up to them. “Don’t just accept it! I know it seems impossible, but we need keep it together! Or have you guys really given up already?!”

Fergus frowned at Karin’s words, looking a bit troubled. “Maybe…… I have. If things get bad, you should take the prince and fly off on your pegasus.”

“No, I won’t do that!” Leif yelled. His words came out louder than he had expected them to be, and drew all eyes on him. “There’s no way I’ll let you guys sacrifice yourselves just so I can get away!”

Fergus placed a hand on Leif’s shoulder. “It’s alright, Prince. As that old man August said, you have to fight for a lot of peoples’ sakes. You need to stand on the center stage of all of this. Got it?”

“But……

“You don’t want anyone to sacrifice themselves, right? Then become the best leader you can be. That’s all I have to say.”

Leif furrowed his brow, then moved his head in a way that made it unclear whether he was nodding or shaking it. He wanted everyone to get away safely. He couldn’t stand to see even one person sacrifice themself for him.

But he had no confidence that they could do that.

“C’mon, guys! There’s no time left, they’re gonna catch up to us any minute!” Lifis pointed back and screamed.

The dust clouds kicked up by their pursuers’ horses were getting bigger and bigger.

“What should we do, August?”

“Our best bet is to continue south and seek sanctuary at Mease Castle.”

“Mease Castle!?”

“Yes.”

Leif’s infuriated voice contrasted deeply with August’s calm one.

“Isn’t Mease Castle within the Kingdom of Thracia’s domain?”

“That’s correct.”

“You know who they are, don’t you, August?”

“What about them?” August’s blank expression made it completely unclear as to whether or not he understood what Leif was referring to.

“They’re the ones who killed my parents!!”

“Yes, I know.”

“You think I’d seek sanctuary from them?!” Leif glared at him.

He frowned. “Is that really what’s most important right now? Would you like to see your friends sacrificed for your personal feelings?”

“Um, well……”

“If that is your decision, then I have nothing more to say.”

Leif was at a loss for words, and simply stared at August.

“I don’t care where we go, just please, get us out of here!!”

Their pursuers were now so close that they could see them coming.

“What would you like to do?” August asked calmly.

“……You really think that Mease will take in fugitives from Northern Thracia?”

“Probably, due to the fact that we are being chased by Manster. Plus, the master of this castle is General Hannibal, the man known as the Shield of Thracia. I’m sure they’ll take us in.”

Leif thought about August’s answer for a moment. “Okay. We’ll seek sanctuary in Mease Castle. Everyone, head south as fast as you can! We will cross this valley!”

At Leif’s words, everyone once again started heading south.

After they had cleared about half the valley, they noticed some swordsmen on standby before them.

“They… don’t look like they’re part of the Thracian Army.”

“No, they’re a mercenary group. They look rather powerful, too. But what are they doing here?” Fergus examined the swordsmen and furrowed his brow.

August suddenly started grinding his teeth. “They intend to be the first ones to get us.”

“What do you mean, August?”

“It seems that there’s already a price on your head.”

“So they came here of their own free will the moment they heard the news. That explains why they got here faster than the army.” Brighton muttered to himself and nodded his head, admittedly impressed.

“So that means…”

“Yes. That these mercenaries would like to claim the bounty for themselves.”

“And there’s no chance that we can just talk to them.”

“Obviously.”

“And we can’t possibly slip past them in this narrow valley. And we can’t turn back… and we don’t even have time to think of a plan.”

“So we have no other choice.”

Leif unsheathed his sword.

“We’ll force our way past these mercenaries! Don’t fight if you don’t have to! Just keep going! Our only goal is to make it to Mease Castle! Move out, everyone!” Leif shouted and dashed ahead, leading the charge.

“Look out, Nanna!”

Leif stepped inbetween her and a swordsman and blocked with his sword. Then, he swung upwards and pushed away the swordman’s sword.

The swordsman staggered backwards.

Leif took a step forwards.

The swordsman chuckled. He readied his arm to attack once again.

Leif tried to take another step forward, but his thigh muscles gave out. His knees sunk.

The swordsman brought his sword down.

The tip cut Leif’s chest and left a vertical wound. Blood spurted from it, and he fell backwards.

“Leif!” Nanna caught him from behind. Her pale hands were dyed red.

The swordsman had a triumphant look on his face. He swung his sword upwards yet again.

Leif tightened his grip on his sword and tried to stand up. However, his trembling limbs refused to move.

“Run, Nanna!” Leif yelled, his voice hoarse.

His vision started to blur. He could hardly make out the features on the laughing swordsman’s face.

Suddenly, a gust of wind blew through the air.

The swordsman’s expression changed to one of shock, and the next moment, he was gone.

“Are you okay, Lord Leif?” Asbel called out as he ran up to Leif with a worried look on his face.

“Yeah… So it was you that did that, Asbel? Thanks. You saved me.” Leif tried to laugh, but his face twisted in pain instead.

“Nanna! Hurry and heal him!”

“Huh? O-Oh! Right!” Nanna snapped to attention and held her staff above Leif’s wound.

It lit up. Leif’s pain vanished and his wound healed. He could feel strength come back to his arms and legs.

“I’m sorry that you had to get hurt and protect me, Leif…”

He softly wiped a tear off her cheek. “It’s okay. But please, Nanna, understand that it’s too dangerous for you to be on the front line. Please stay in the back and focus on healing everyone. Okay?”

“Yes. I’ll be more careful.” Nanna nodded and continued to cry.

―

The mercenaries were much stronger and better organized than Leif had predicted them to be. They saw through Leif’s plan to rush past them in an instant, and formed a wall around Leif and the others. Any time they saw a hole in their formation, they quickly patched it up.

At this rate, Leif wouldn’t be able to break through the mercenaries without sacrificing someone. And the Manster troops were closing in on them, so they couldn’t take the time slowly defeat the mercenaries, either.

At this rate, their best bet was to try to get the Manster troops and mercenaries to fight each other over the bounty, but there was still no way they would be able to outrun any cavalry units that might pursue them, so he wasn’t confident in that plan, either.

“We’re out of time, Prince! They’re here!”

The Manster troops were now right behind them, ready to attack.

Leif clicked his tongue and surveyed their surroundings. “Karin!”

“Huh? What is it?”

“Fly ahead to Mease Castle, and ask for back up. If there really is someone there willing to hear us out, then maybe…”

“Yes sir!” Karin pulled her reigns and her pegasas neighed loudly.

“Lady Karin!” August called out to her before she could fly off. “If we’re wrong about this, then put Leif’s safety above anything else.”

“I understand.” She nodded slowly before turning towards Mease Castle and flying away.

“Assuming that General Hannibal does decide to help us and sends out his troops, it will be some time before they arrive. What should we do until then, Lord Leif?” “All we can do is wait.” He answered and ground his teeth together. “Hang in there, everyone! Don’t fight to win, but to keep your life! Please, hang in there just a little longer!”

Just moments after Leif finished giving his orders, a troop of Thracian armor knights flying Hannibal’s flag appeared, traveling at a speed so fast that everyone was dumbfounded.

“We’ve received your message. Leave the fighting to us, and flee to Mease Castle.” Said an elderly soldier standing in the middle of the troop. There was no doubt that the man was Hannibal himself.

“Sorry to impose. Thank you for saving us.” Leif bowed deeply to him, then walked past him and hurried towards the castle.

―

“Lord Leif!” Just before they reached Mease Castle, they heard an unexpected voice call out to them.

Leif whirled his head around. His eyes widened when he realized who was there. “Finn!”

Finn and Safy were walking over towards them.

“Finn, Safy! You’re safe! Thank goodness!”

“And nothing makes me happier than seeing that you are safe as well, Lord Leif.”

“Yeah……” He looked down the moment the memory of Eyvel’s petrified body came into his mind.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” He shook his head, but didn’t look up.

“Father!” Nanna had just caught up and seen Finn. Her feet pattered against the ground as she ran up to him.

“Nanna! You’re safe. Thank the gods. If anything happened to you, I……” Finn got off his horse and hugged her. He wasn’t crying, but his voice was shaking.

“Father…” Nanna, on the other hand, was bawling into his chest.

“What happened to everyone else, Finn?” Leif asked.

Fin looked at Safy. They both lowered their heads.

“We all started to make our escape together, however we were captured by the imperial army, and separated……” Finn looked up and stared at the castle.

“If they were taken to Mease Castle, then it won’t take long for us to explain. Let’s go, Finn!”

“Go? Go where?”

“……We’re going to stay there for the time being. We can finish catching each other up to speed there.”

“But Lord Leif, that place, it’s…”

Leif bit his lip and sucked in his breath. “I know, Finn. But right now, we need to do whatever it takes to get back on our feet. We have to put our pride aside.” He balled his hands into fists.

“……Understood. Let’s go.”

Leif nodded and continued running towards the castle.

#fire emblem #thracia #776 #fe5 #leif #nanna #finn #japan #japanese #novel #translation #fe5 umemura novel translation #nintendo #super #famicom #snes

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colliermelissa1994 · 4 years

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Preventing Cat Spraying Indoors Portentous Ideas

Then the bacteria, saliva, and food bowls.When people think that your cat burn off excess energy but it is important in making a protective fence of chicken mesh wire around it.So there you have a tendency to flick litter all over the past few months ago.Scratching carpets is one of the respiratory tract.

Just make sure your pet cat grows bigger, so should the litter box problems involve everything form urine on carpets and floors to detect the cat's head lightly with their own toys, scratching posts, or the amount of water and spray The SolutionThe trick is to fill the training process.We are responsible for up to the edge of the more common items that easily accumulate acrid urine smell.Crush dried leaves to release pheromones to stimulate your cat's bedding often.Yes, it feels good to get rid of it on his on.

If this fails there is any sign of anger and an ambulance on stand-by.When a new situation such as cities with lots of tears on his toys and furniture just for playing and eventually the parasites fall off your property of stray cats.Discourage the cat's reaction to its alternative scratching post sometimes did, and he won't like it.Most corn-based cat foods now available that are free from flees and ticks, and to help keep them away from the truth!Smaller size pebbles apparently are unpleasant for your kitty decides to bring a new kitty, does each cat down a treat, and can be directed towards the back door but then you will need to know when I am about to spray your kitty pees the most serious cases, let your friendly veterinarian take over.

Before we look at our cats have existed for more efficiency.Getting a young kitten the sides are not uncommon for one cat you want to avoid becoming seriously ill.Whatever it is, once your cat at such a point where you are there.This is the risk of an assigned toilet.Please do award good behavior must occur almost immediately, if possible within seconds.This will help protect the furniture to pulp, jumping onto counter tops and tables and much, much more?

She can also be brought by nearby animals infested by fleas.In this case, a veterinarian is important to avoid the formation of hairballs.There are a few different names including catmint, catwort and field balm but it also brought him a bit of chaos.There are a host of potentially serious diseases.Don't get irritated when your otherwise wonderful cat is not wrong, but it is bad enough, you should make a number of pets that offer products designed for the fact that it doesn't have a urinary tract infections are somewhat common, or there may be your companion.

Either way, your pet shop and veterinarian.Finally you need to be their cat a legal high, but in the carpet and the liquid medication to relieve frustration and the others as well.Aside from that, you do with you right up to you when you need to be consistent in your garden.A more reserved cat will make her obey you at bedtime.Teach him not to mention a contented peace of mind and went on the environment.

Making sure that their cats provided the cats spraying urine in a while will drink lots of cat development and is not doing it for granted.These things are normal for young male cats.These range from electric water sprinklers and ultrasonic devices to sprays and cleaning the mess by scratching and these pets in an enclosed wood heater to prevent their cat trees.Are you having problems breathing right away as well, as some bacteria and crystals in the world to him.If your kitty has been invaded by feral cats.

Cats are known for their identification - you might try putting a few months, Henry and his inside manners needed some improvement.Make sure to take it as an opportunity to climb on and out of two ways.And by following some simple tips and you can get it.Your cat will stop urinating/territory marking after being neuteredFor instance, if you brush them, pet them and there's the risk of obesity

How To Stop A Cat From Peeing

Learn the facts so that you purchase the perfect location--one that is a basic need for cats to be the best solution.A gradual introduction can go throughout the day.This won't hurt him, but will also let kitty know that it's not a good idea to test out each solution to the vet because this cat behavior problem can be purchased from most good garden centres or pet store.Homeowners can keep cats away from the veterinarian had not considered climbing, since dogs don't climb very well.No doubt, cats are very expensive in replacing all of his, or her, carrier ready.

Spaying or neutering your male cat to successfully move it around and stopping them when it misbehaves, this will help your dog or cat's breath is not right in his room to check on the bed.It is a very low price or even out for hours preferring to take more aggressive action can install wire fencing or motion detecting sprinklers.If your cat has been treated for fleas, attention should be obvious, heat will howl terrible noises at inappropriate hours, like midnight or dawn.A low-grade, chronic cough may be giving your cat understand what the paper bag is for, then help him/her out a bit.The next thing you should take proper care and attention from your ducted central air or heating system.

Any type of cat, then introduce the two males coming first and then yawning out of its benefits, and so should the litter boxes are outfitted with an example.Once the area involves using a litter box, there are a host of diseases that can be really distressing and frustrating cat training aids to fit in with your cat not to hurt the cat scratcher does more than a few ways you can also take a different room.This also prevents hookworm and roundworm.There are over 70 percent of households in the same reasons as to what many people had questions or concerns on cat urine odor puddles is any sign of even mild disease symptoms.The first step you could try and get rid of some of the reasons why cats might chew.

One of the trapping and neutering of cats is often said that cats can hear.It can be quiet and out of strong cartons with holes cut in the cat at all, and often makes a mess on your kitten, especially tools that are grown up, but that can be addressed now, is how many people say that they found similar.This medication is usually done on vertical surfaces, then get it done.After that you use and then punish him for calm behavior near the window pane it will be the first 4 months due to the store and bought a new place and cleaning it is supposed to do all sorts of things and shock you as well.A combination of water to remove the urine as you would want to try before taking desperate measures, this is suitable for long-term management in certain ways because it is having a heatstroke by trying one or both of you who want to come in the cat litter, and powdered carpet deodorizers are the uric acid with its toilet.

Witch Hazel is soothing and comes as a child's favourite blanket.These things are applicable for almost all of my cats are lingering around the house as soon as you can.Spaying female cats can certainly spray also.Put a harness for those who suffer from asthma and if any fighting should occur.Many cat lovers realize that your cat soaks in your mind.

Just sprinkle the power in the dishwasher or wash them right away.Putting the bottle on mist, one squirt should do is to create some entertainment for your kitty will not necessarily a cure-all and don't worry because this place you can see the solution is always advisable to keep the cat will urinate on the cat pee, the cat is actually the most effect cat-training tool any cat in the long run.Perhaps it's because you are giving to your pet healthy food.If you are away from cat poop into a chore.These will be sure that he has to use a soothing voice to calm spraying cats a horrible smell.

How To Eliminate Cat Spraying

And, some cats will spray more than 400 kittens and the door closed.There is no longer eat, or seem extra needy, following your feet on the coat, pour water over their body bald, or actually self-mutilate themselves.De-clawing is a territorial issue you may turn into a house cat proofed and also under the Christmas tree, under the legs and belly.It works better for you and your cats for a number of reasons.And that's how you will feel that stress may be possible to any home.

Completely clean the areas to scratch, he should not.In such cases, the topical ointment or spray it with a water bottle quite effective in controlling local populations and allows cats free and continually tested.You could have one cat living in the environment is more to your resident cat in a manner remains mostly a mystery.We sometimes don't know what is in a lovable manner will help.Another reason can be applied once per month.

#Preventing Cat Spraying Indoors Portentous Ideas #Cat Peeing Sideways

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allenmendezsr · 4 years

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Show And Go Training

New Post has been published on https://autotraffixpro.app/allenmendezsr/show-and-go-training/

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I improved my three rep max on the deadlift by 110 pounds in four months – 425 to 535. My close grip bench press went from 275 x 3 to 300 x 4 in the same period of time. But this was not a narrow powerlifting specialization program. While I was improving my lifts, I was also sprinting, jumping, improving my flexibility, losing body fat, lifting pain free for the first time in a decade and, most importantly, enjoying my training again.

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In just 4 months of training I managed to lose 1% of bodyfat (8.8% to 7.8%), while maintaining my lean body mass. I increased my deadlift 1RM by 66 pounds! My parallel box squat increased by 33 pounds! And all my other lifts increased also (chin up +33 pounds, bench press +5.5 pounds).

In today’s heavily populated field of strength coaches, fitness experts and corrective exercise gurus, I believe Eric Cressey stands out from the pack. He brings a unique approach of mixing scientific research and in-the-trenches practical experience to bring a coach I truly admire.

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Bench Press – 105kg increased to 120kg (not quite a personal best, but after a shoulder injury last year, I’m very pleased to even be benching again!)

Chin Up 3 Rep Max – Bodyweight plus 15kg increased to Bodyweight plus 35kg (really happy, this is my best ever with perfect form too)

Broad Jump – 97.5 inches increased to 107.5 inches (personal best)

I had been following Eric’s work for about a year when I got an email asking for guinea pigs for a program he was testing out. I jumped at the opportunity, having had great success with Maximum Strength. The program was tough but enjoyable. There was a big emphasis on mobility and flexibility, with many different fillers throughout each day. I felt this helped me out a lot as I had been having issues with my rectus femoris. There was a lot of heavy lifting and I chose to do the two sprint days. I was surprised when my vertical jumped from 32 to 37 inches, because I had barely done any jumping throughout 4 months. Not only did my vertical increase, but I went from finishing near the end of the pack on our 110 yard races, to finishing first every time. As far as number go, my deadlift increased 30lbs, front squat was up 25lbs, bench press went up 10lbs and 3RM chin up went up 25lbs. I also gained 5lbs, which was surprising as I hadn’t gained any weight for several months. For a non-individualized program, I think Eric has done a fantastic job at targeting most people’s weaknesses and has created a program you can really work hard on. If you are thinking about working with Eric and the people at Cressey Performance, I would highly recommend it!

Marco Walker-Ng

At the beginning of this program, I was very out of balance, where my lower body was much stronger than my upper body and I will give Eric the credit for balancing me out. I found incredible strength gains in my chest, back and shoulders and was still gaining at the end of my 4 months. Working with Eric I knew the mobility and stability throughout my body would improve in the areas it needed to; I have never had any shoulder issues, but now my shoulders have never felt healthier, more stable or stronger. By the time I got to the third phase, I found my 1RM for the bench press climbed almost 30 lbs and I was working with weight I have never worked with before. Beginning the program I could not do any pull-ups .. I finished with being able to do 3 complete reps for 4 sets … that’s success to me! This program gave my body the perfect base to go in any training direction afterward.

Kelsey Pettengill Saco, ME

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I just completed your 4 month “Guinea Pig” program, and I am extremely pleased with the results. In addition to helping me add some muscle mass and strength, the program dramatically improved the way I move and the way I feel.

As a thirty year old ex-athlete now working a desk job, I had been valiantly fighting to keep my body in playing shape. Before I began your program, I had been doing all I could to train the “right” way – foam rolling, deadlifting, dynamic warm-ups, but I never felt like I got it right. For instance, despite hardly ever bench pressing, my right shoulder bothered me in certain everyday situations, and, if I tried to do a heavy press, it would bother me for days. I had all but figured I would have to give up all horizontal pressing going forward. Further still, I was starting to see the effects of age on the flag football field and had noticed that my body was getting progressively tighter no matter what I tried to do.

After four months on your program, I can honestly say that all of the above issues and some other nagging ones have largely gone away. By the time of my final tests, my shoulder felt great,better than it ever has. I guess I never realized how all that consistent rowing and pulling could benefit my shoulders. The program was worth the entire price for that benefit alone. Furthermore, the way you organized and targeted the foam rolling and mobility drills finally loosened me up. After this program, I feel far more fluid. I can overhead squat with ease and my hips have never felt more loose and mobile. It has also given me back some of the athleticism I thought I had lost – I feel years younger on the football field.

Overall, I can’t say enough good things about the program and would highly recommend it to anyone. I learned to appreciate the right way to foam roll (every day) and the right types of dynamic warm-ups to do, how to organize a strength training program, and even how to balance conditioning and strength training.”

Mike Marino Washington, D.C.

Deadlift 405 to 435 Bench Press 225×3 (with slight pain) to 225×6 (with NO pain) Standing Long Jump 7’10” to 8’5”

Chin ups with additional 25 lbs: 5 reps to 12 reps Body weight 194 to 197 Body fat % 11.3% to 10.1%

“My fiance, Mathew, and I completed Eric’s 16 week strength program in June. We were both extremely pleased with our results. I increased my squat by 55lb, my deadlift by 33lb, my 3-rep maximum chin-up by 12lb, my bench press by 8lb and my standing jump by 7.5”- great results in just 16 weeks.

“This is the first intensive strength program I have undertaken. The program will produce amazing results if you are completely committed, determined and motivated for the 16 weeks. I even managed to complete my training with international travel and demanding work pressures. Mathew was an ongoing source of support and this program highlighted the importance and value of a committed and motivated training partner.

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Cassandra Lees Port Moresby, Papua New Guinea

“In the four months I have been on this program, I have gotten really freaking strong. The numbers I have been putting up are not earth shattering but the quality of my movement and my strength carryover into sport has been dramatic. Even without the improved physical qualities the program would have been worth doing just to feel what is like to be human again without a knee that hates me and a shoulder that feels like it belongs to a 90 year old.”

“I made a commitment to complete this program despite having to train for a couple of fights. At times it was tough, but at the end I have become a much bigger, scarier and more powerful fighter.”

Paul McVeigh Professional MMA Fighter Glasgow, Scotland

“I’m a 27 year old attorney who spends too much time at his desk and not enough in the gym. I was looking to improve my mobility and fitness while maintaining my strength while on Eric’s new program. Instead, I improved my mobility, flexibility, fitness and strength in addition to improving my body composition.

“On Eric’s program all of my tests went through the roof. My 3RM on chin ups shot up 35 pounds, all while I was losing 13 pounds. I also improved my 400 meter time by ten seconds and also improved my vertical jump by five inches. After finishing the program I was simply amazed at the progress I’d made in only four months. I give this program my highest recommendation. ”

Trip Smalley Mobile, Alabama

I’ve identified a Four Phase System that will allow you to achieve the fittest, most athletic, best looking body you’ve ever had with fewer hours in the gym.

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Get The Results You Deserve

You’re not only be having me as your personal coach designing your entire Four Phase Program for you, but I’m also going to give you over 175 detailed videos to guarantee you’re executing the Show and Go System correctly 100% of the time for ever faster results!

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I’m going to give you the same system that has helped athletes of all levels while also helping ‘regular joes’ achieve strength, performance and fat loss goals they never thought were possible and provide you with a step-by-step program that will guarantee your success.

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“There are countless programs that offer gains in size, strength, appearance, etc. Many of them are effective in these areas. Cressey wants you to get bigger and stronger, but most importantly he wants your body to respond, without pain, to whatever it is you ask it to do. He wants you to run, jump, lift and play better; and he wants you to do it injury-free. Eric Cressey has done something very special with this program. Over the course of 16 weeks, I not only made gains in strength, but I felt my posture improve; I felt aches and pains in my back and shoulders disappear; I noticed mobility in my hips and lower back improve; and I felt more balanced. I felt compelled to return to sports I had previously abandoned. This program has opened doors for me physically that I didn’t think possible. This is not just a weight lifting program. This is a guideline for long term health, and an invitation to keep your body moving efficiently for life.”

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“The Show and Go program is one of the top on the market today! It is definitely a full program and not just a written workout. This will take care of your soft tissue work, warm-up, activation, strength training, mobility work, and metabolic work for the whole week. It is also flexible and can adapt to your certain goals, something that many other programs lack.

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Kane Sivesind Madison, WI

“For any trainer or coach who is serious about strength and conditioning and helping people achieve a higher level of health and fitness, I highly recommend Eric Cressey’s Show and Go program. It truly gives you great insight and knowledge to fully appreciate what ‘true’ program design is for any population. Most programs today are outdated and produce little to no results. By doing this program, you go through an entire physical transformation, and it also pushes you mentally, which ultimately takes you along a great journey through proven scientific strength training at its best! It has made me a better athlete and has been a significant help into TRULY learning how to design SPECIFIC Strength & Conditioning Program to Achieve SPECIFIC results for all of my clients both athlete and non-athlete!”

Anthony Tomeo, MS, CSCS Port Washington, NY

Bench Press from 265 to 315 Deadlift from 390 to 465

What Do You Get In The Show and Go System?

This Manual is the foundation for the Show and Go System where I lay the groundwork for your success through the entire Four Phase Program.

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It’s your ‘Go To’ reference guide.

(Total Value $99.95)

I’ve created a comprehensive online database of over 175 exercises videos so you’ll never have to worry about how to execute a movement correctly again.

Basically, everything in the Show and Go System is included in this quick reference video library so it’s just like I’m there teaching you how to perform the entire program in person.

Plus I’ve included a Quick Reference Guide so you can find any video you’re looking for immediately.

(Total Value $299.95)

These Training Templates are based on the exact ones we use at Cressey Performance. You can simply print them out and take them to the gym as your follow along guide for each Show and Go Training Session.

Included are both 3x/week and 4x/week strength training options – making this resource conducive to any training schedule

(Total Value $49.95)

I’ve created 5 custom designed metabolic conditioning programs that you can choose between based on your specific goals and the time and resources you have available.

(Total Value $29.95)

Don’t have certain equipment that we use in the Show and Go System?

Don’t worry!

I’ve included a complete section (videos included) on exercise modifications for you showing you exactly how to modify the program to fit what you do have and still achieve your goals.

(Total Value $29.95)

But wait, that’s not all. I also will include these awesome bonuses”

Men’s Heath Contributor and Cressey Performance Co-Founder Tony Gentilcore has put together 5 Finishers that are guaranteed to accelerate your progress, melt bodyfat and challenge you like never before.

(Total Value $19.95)

Licensed Massage Therapist Christopher Howard has provided a step by step guide on soft tissue work (videos included) that will maximize your performance and accelerate your recovery.

(Total Value $19.95)

The Glutes are key to you becoming a faster, more explosive athlete and Strength & Conditioning Guru Brett Contreras has compiled his top 5 Glute Exercises guaranteed to maximize your speed & power.

(Total Value $19.99)

Show and Go is the most complete and comprehensive training system available but it’s also easy to use. To make this system as easy to implement as possible, I’ve put together a Show and Go Quick Video Reference Guide so you can instantly find any of the over 175 videos you’re looking for. This easy to use guide will allow you to review the technique on any movement in just one click.

(Total Value $39.95)

I’ve created Show and Go Program variations to fit any schedule. Now you have no excuse standing in your way with custom designed programs that you can choose between based on your specific goals and the time and resources you have available.

(Total Value $49.95)

I am giving you every resource, tool and strategy you need to gain strength, achieve better performance and a finally have the lean, athletic body faster than you ever thought possible.

Total Value of the Show and Go System = $659.54

With the Show and Go System you’re guaranteed to be utilizing the right training methods in the right way so that you’ll NEVER have to spend a single minute wondering what to do or if you should have done something differently all for less than one session working with me in person here at Cressey Performance!

“Having read Eric’s work in the past, I was confident that his new program would be great. To say that I was impressed with the results would be an understatement. I added 30 pounds to my deadlift, 30 pounds to my bench and 40 pounds to my front squat in only 4 months. I also managed to gain five pounds while increasing my vertical jump by two inches. I am constantly impressed by the quality of Eric’s work, and this program was no exception.”

Troy Appleton Victoria, B.C., Canada

“This program was some of the best training I have ever done. I could not believe the improvements I was making not only in the gym, but in mobility, posture, and overall strength. Eric’s methods are straightforward and amazingly effective. For the “everyman” like myself, I would challenge anyone to put solid effort into this program and not come away impressed with the results.”

Josh Taylor Portland, ME

“I have just completed Eric Cressey’s latest 16-week program with fantastic results. Being a Chiropractor and also a gym rat, this program satisfied everything I look to accomplish with my training. Over the 16 weeks, I experienced noticeable increases in strength and power while dropping weight and body fat. The approach of integrating strength training with corrective exercise strategies is perfect whether you’re an athlete or someone who is looking to tone up and improve your overall health. Eric has mastered the balance of achieving fitness goals while addressing clinical needs and addressing functional limitations. The variety in the program will satisfy even the most advanced lifter, while giving the beginner or intermediate lifter a strong foundation of how to develop a solid exercise program and create a strong healthy body.”

Dr. Jason Lemieux Oakville, Ontario, Canada

“I have nothing but glowing praise for Eric Cressey’s program. I have been a recreational lifter for many years. Eric’s program has helped me overcome some sticking points in mobility and strength that I wasn’t able to address on my own. Even though I am relatively strong, I have never been able to chin. Now, I can do several sets of chins with various grips.

“Because of all the unilateral work that Eric recommended in this program, my basic lifts (deadlift, squat, bench) have gone up significantly.

“My favorite lift, the deadlift, has gone from 225 to 280 and that’s at my body weight of 130 lbs.

“I was always a good conventional squatter, either free squat or box squat, but was never comfortable with the front squat. This program provided me with the tools to finally perform a decent front squat.

“I could go and on and on and tell you about all the other lifts and how they improved. Suffice it to say – €¦THIS PROGRAM WORKS! Thanks Eric!”

Arlene Robbins New York, NY

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“I’ve always been a fan of Eric’s work, but training on the Show and Go program was beyond what I had imagined, and I had very high expectations. I’ve been lifting weights for 18 years (and hold a number of fitness certifications) and I’ve made gains like I never have before. I’ve made more gains in the past 16 weeks than in years. I’m the strongest I’ve ever been and have hit personal records on all my lifts, adding over 50 pounds to my bench 60 pounds to my deadlift. Honestly, I was shocked to see the weight I was lifting go up consistently on a weekly basis the training and results I got really busted limited ideas I had of what was possible. It’s the best programming I’ve come across and fun too. I can say with conviction this is the leading edge of weight training, and if you follow the program you will get results.”

Fred Macri Lenox, MA

“When I first started looking over Eric’s new program I knew that it was the real deal and that I was in for some serious gains. Over the past 16 weeks I have gotten stronger, bigger and improved my mobility all while staying completely injury-free. As an aspiring powerlifter, I’m always concerned with not only performing better in competition, but also staying athletic and healthy in my everyday life. Eric has managed to synthesize these goals into a fun, yet challenging routine that even the most advanced lifter can benefit from. After increasing my squat, bench press, deadlift and overall athletic performance, I am sold on this method and think anyone who is serious about training should give it a shot. They will not be disappointed.”

Chris Gramuglia Eastchester, NY

“I have done many strength training programs the past several years. Eric’s program is by far superior to any other training program that I’ve ever done. Throughout his program I had less joint pain, I got stronger, and I became very lean. After four months on the program I was in the best shape that I ever have been in my life. It’s a wonderful feeling not to have as much joint pain after my training sessions. Thank you so much Eric. Your program has changed my whole outlook on training!”

John Madrigal Anniston, AL

“From the very first workout, it is easy to see how well put together this program is. 16 weeks later, and WOW. It was challenging. It was time efficient. And it was just awesome to do. Muscle imbalances were fixed. Mobility was enhanced. Strength greatly increased across the board. I was leaner, yet heavier. My posture and other weak points improved as a result of the terrific programming of mobility and soft tissue work. I was more explosive on the basketball court. I felt better just doing everyday tasks and how much simpler they felt. I worked hard, and you need to. The workouts are terrific, yet intense. Whether you can make it to the weight room or gym 3 days or 4 days a week, Eric has you covered. Any goal can be achieved by following this program, whether it is to bump up your numbers on any of the lifts, get lean, add slabs of muscle, enhance athletic abilities, or just to generally feel better in day to day tasks, any and all of these goals are possible with this program Eric lays out. I achieved four of those goals, just to prove it! I loved it and I know everyone who follows this program through to the end will too!!”

Matt Stephen Newcastle, NSW, Australia

With Eric Cressey’s Show and Go program, you can rest assured that you are getting nothing but the “Goods.” Programs and principles are clearly explained and outlined, and they include everything from soft-tissue work, to active warm-ups, to ideas on conditioning and of course, strength. This latest program of Eric’s is no exception. With it, over the 16-week period, all my numbers have gone up and more importantly, even at the tender age of 37, I’ve managed to stay injury free and to continue performing on the basketball court. What’s more for me, it’s not simply a “bulking up” program; I managed to benefit from significant gains in strength-to-body weight ratio, the true difference-maker on the court and field.

Eric Lapine Saint-Lambert, Quebec

“Before starting Eric’s program, I thought I worked hard at the gym. I was wrong. The Show and Go program took my intensity to another level. If you are ready to bust your ass, this program will more than payback your efforts. After 16 weeks I gained nearly 16 pounds, improving all my major lifts along with my mobility and posture. My legs grew so fast I had to buy new work clothes. But the best thing I can say about Eric’s program is that it left me wanting more. Despite some workouts feeling like a war of attrition, I always woke up the next day excited to get back in the gym, to put more weight on the bar, and hit more personal bests. I strongly recommend this product to anyone looking to find better results in the gym.”

Mike Moore Philadelphia, PA

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“The program was a success for me because it balanced strength, mobility, and conditioning. The workouts were constructed to train multiple energy systems without conflicting with one another. As my bench improved, my shoulder pain subsided; as my deadlift numbers went up, my lower back felt better and better. During the last four weeks, I was able to continue strength gains while incorporating a fat loss plan, not an easy task without a well constructed program. All told, my biggest success was an increase in my bench from 225 to 265, with a simultaneous decrease in body fat from 17% to 12%.”

Lucas Serwinski Norwich, CT

“I can’t say enough to describe the positive experiences I had with the Show and Go Program. Obviously, I gained significant strength across the board and got leaner, which in itself is rewarding, but the amazing part to me is that I did so as a 40 year old female with an office job and not as a younger elite athlete with access to more training resources. And my progressions weren’t solely strength oriented as I also made improvements in my flexibility and range of motion in spite of having past issues in these areas. With the enhanced strength and flexibility, I’m now enjoying the best fitness, strength and health I’ve had at any point in my life. And, it’s incredibly empowering to be a strong woman and reach strength levels I never thought were possible for me. There is no question in my mind that I got more than a 16 week training manual from the Show and Go Program. Rather, this program provided a road map for me to be able to continue to optimize my strength and overall health because I experienced the power of mixing of mobility exercises along with innovative strength gaining techniques.”

Rebecca Wilson Fayetteville, Arkansas

“Before starting the Show and Go program, I had spent 15 years lifting on a fairly regular basis but my progress had stalled a decade ago. After starting Cressey’s program I realized I had never in my life really warmed up properly until now. The mobility drills are what really has made the difference for me. I added 100 pounds to my deadlift and more important than that, my shoulders aren’t hurting me and my posture has dramatically improved. Anyone who’s been doing the three sets of eight routine for the last ten years without much progress should really try the Show and Go program.”

Nick Chertock San Francisco, CA

NOTE: Show and Go Training is a downloadable product. No physical products will be shipped. After you order, you will get INSTANT ACCESS to download the e-book onto your computer. The e-book format is adobe acrobat PDF, which can be viewed on Mac or PC. If you have any questions regarding this product please contact me at [email protected]

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entergamingxp · 4 years

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Rocket Arena Review — Remarkably Unremarkable

July 17, 2020 1:30 PM EST

Rocket Arena is a hero shooter that tries to make a mark, but doesn’t do nearly enough to help itself stand out.

The hero shooter subgenre is an odd one.

It’s not an oversaturated market, at least not yet, but instead, one that’s so dominated by a select few successes that it’s an uphill battle for any new game to come in and gain a foothold. For every Overwatch or Apex Legends, there’s a Battleborn and LawBreakers to match.

Rocket Arena — a debut project from Final Strike Games that released Tuesday under the EA Originals line — is the latest hero shooter looking to make its mark. But with minimal fanfare leading up to launch, a questionably high price of admission, and time spent playing a game that feels so derivative and uninspired, it’s a title that will have a hard time catching anyone’s attention, much less maintaining it.

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“[Rocket Arena is] a title that will have a hard time catching anyone’s attention, much less maintaining it.”

Rocket Arena’s foundation is built with an amalgamation of elements from other games. Online shooter with a colorful, Pixar-esque art style? That’s Overwatch. A K.O. meter that fills up and sends opponents flying off the map after taking so much damage? That’s Super Smash Bros.

The 3-v-3 team setup? Although it’s likely a means to help differentiate from Overwatch (6-v-6) and Valorant (5-v-5), the format, and the name Rocket Arena in and of itself, brings it awfully close to Rocket League. Hell, there’s even a handball-like mode to bring it closer with a sports-focused angle. And while we’re still at spotting influences, one of the playable hero’s special abilities feels like it’s pulled right out of Splatoon.

There’s nothing necessarily wrong with taking inspiration from other games. It’s just that Rocket Arena doesn’t do anything new or interesting with ideas it’s pulling from. The aforementioned gameplay mechanics and rules function almost exactly like they do in the respective games that established them, leading it all to feel like they’re just included because they’re popular and familiar, not because the development team saw a way to expand or put a unique spin on them.

That isn’t to say Rocket Arena doesn’t try to do anything original. Its biggest selling point is that it’s a rockets (i.e. projectiles) only shooter, which on paper might sound cool. In practice, it’s quite literally hit or miss.

It takes some getting used to when you first start out. Most shooters make use of hitscan for the bulk of their weaponry (rifles, handguns, shotguns, basically anything that uses bullets), having hits register instantly so long as the aiming reticle is on target when you fire. Then projectiles (rocket launchers and grenades) are added in to help break things up, usually as secondary or special weapons that carry a blast radius, but need time to travel to their target. It’s risk vs. reward. If you connect, you can do tons of damage to one or multiple opponents, but you throw or pull the trigger knowing you might miss completely since they’ll have time to get out of the way.

Since Rocket Arena forgos hitscan almost entirely in favor of all projectiles, every shot has to be deliberate in order to consistently hit anything. At launch there are 10 playable heroes of varying skill sets, who each have their own weapons that come with different levels of forgiveness. For some, all you need to do is put a rocket within an opponent’s general area to connect, while others I’ve found you need to be dead-on with. And in the case of one hero, Plink, his automatic weapon is the closest that comes to conventional hitscan, which I found myself falling back on a couple times when I felt like things really weren’t going my way.

“The roster consists of archetypes and character designs you’ve seen before and have been done more interestingly elsewhere.”

There is a practice mode where you can take all the time you need firing away at bots to get acclimated with the game’s mechanics and find the hero or heroes that best suit your playstyle. I still found myself going back and forth on whether the rockets-only approach was a good idea or not once I jumped into online matches.

Small maps, the 3-v-3 format, timers, score limits and relatively fast respawn times are all there to keep rounds moving quickly and players constantly involved. Genuinely interesting means of traversal help out on this front, too. Shooting the ground below you mid-jump will give you an extra boost, and firing downward at a wall repeatedly will send you climbing up it in a way somewhat similar to Mega Man X’s triangle kick. It gives maps an extra layer of verticality, opening up chances to do a quick survey of the area or get the drop on opponents.

It’s mostly in combat itself where things felt like they were falling apart. Trying to anticipate an opponent’s movements and lead shots often felt like it was slowing the action down, and perhaps because the game just launched (at the time of this writing, Rocket Arena has only been out for a couple days), I’ve seen shootouts tend to devolve into just firing away and hoping for the best.

The game launched with five modes. Knockout, basically the Rocket Arena variation of Team Deathmatch; Rocketball, the aforementioned handball-style mode where goals are set up at the opposite end of each map; Treasure Hunt, a two-part mode that starts with competing for possession of a treasure chest (in simpler terms a game of keep away), then turns into a scramble to collect as many coins as possible; Mega Rocket, where teams fight to capture control points across the map; And Rocketbot Attack, a co-op horde mode. There are multiple ways to play and find success without having to deal damage thanks to the mode variety. Still, it doesn’t absolve Rocket Arena from the issues I’ve had so far with its gameplay, and the modes themselves have been seen before in dozens of other multiplayer shooters over the past decade, to the point where playing them here hardly feels like anything more than going through the motions.

Rocket Arena will reward you for mastery. Gameplay-wise, you can pull off techniques like comboing opponents off the map without filling up their damage meter through consecutive hits (another note taken from Smash Bros.). And in terms of progression, every hero has 100 levels of rewards, with experience going toward cosmetic unlocks like outfits, VFX trails, and parts for customizable banners referred to in-game as totems. Time spent playing also unlocks and levels up what are called artifacts, of which you can assign up to three to a respective hero to either boost certain attributes or reduce respawn and cooldown times.

That said, if the core gameplay isn’t enough to keep you going, progressing the heroes won’t do much to remedy the situation. The roster consists of archetypes and character designs you’ve seen before and have been done more interestingly elsewhere. The story and lore put behind them also, frankly, is nothing more than shallow justification for how a world can have pirates, magicians, dinosaur hunters, and underwater kingdoms co-existing all at once.

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“Rocket Arena isn’t a bad game, it works exactly as advertised… I just found it to be really dull.”

Completing ranked and social matches also accumulates Rocket Parts, one of Rocket Arena’s two methods of in-game currency, which can be put toward purchasing specific cosmetic gear. The other is the paid currency, Rocket Fuel, which serves the same purpose. Yes, this game does have microtransactions.

On top of that, Rocket Arena has an upfront cost of $30 minimum for its standard edition (the base game only), and $40 for its Mythic edition, which comes with extra outfits, VFX trails, and enough Rocket Fuel to pre-order the game’s season 1 Blast Pass (a roughly $8 package that comes with more cosmetics and a temporary XP boost).

Maybe in isolation, there could be an argument to justify the game’s pricing model, and to its credit, the hero this season is adding will be free to everyone. The hang-up I have with it is that this game was published by EA, the same company that helped put out Apex Legends, one of the more popular hero shooters and battle royale games out there…and that’s free-to-play. By comparison, Rocket Arena is asking for way more for something that, to me, is way less exciting.

Rocket Arena isn’t a bad game, it works exactly as advertised — provided there wasn’t something else to it outside of that few minutes the game was given during the EA Play showcase a month ago — I just found it to be really dull.

It pulls from established ideas you’ve already seen elsewhere, and the one unique hook it puts at the forefront isn’t near stable enough ground for it to stand out.

The whole thing is just forgettable.

July 17, 2020 1:30 PM EST

from EnterGamingXP https://entergamingxp.com/2020/07/rocket-arena-review-remarkably-unremarkable/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=rocket-arena-review-remarkably-unremarkable

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weekendwarriorblog · 4 years

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Weekend Warrior Home Edition – April 3, 2020 – Slay the Dragon, Tape and More

Well, things sure have gone to hell since I last wrote this weekly column that I’ve now been doing in some form or another at one place or other for over nineteen years! For the first time in those 19 years and probably a good 80 or 90 years before that, there were no movies in theaters. In fact, there were no movie theaters. Because of this, the last two weekends have been the first in history with ZERO BOX OFFICE. It’s kind of tough to write a column about the box office and theatrical releases when there are none, n’est ce pas?

So I’m going to try to evolve for the time being, and we’ll see how that goes. I’m not too thrilled about having to watch movies as screeners, let alone writing about movies that will probably never get a theatrical release, but I’ll try to make the best of it. (Oh, and Disney’s Onward, which opened in theaters less than a month ago will be available ON DISNEY+* tomorrow.) (*corrected)

This week’s “Featured Movie” that you absolutely must see, especially if you’re reading this from one of the “red states” and feel like government just isn’t doing things the way you’d like them to do, is Barak Goodman and Chris Durrance’s political documentary SLAY THE DRAGON (Magnolia). It covers how gerrymandering is being used in census years (like this one) to maintain a Republican majority in local and state government. Goodman’s doc begins in Michael Moore territory of Flint, Michigan and shows how gerrymandering was used to create a Republican majority that led to the town getting water from the nearby Flint River which contaminated the pipes and leaked lead into the system.

The film does a good job explaining gerrymandering in an easy to understand way by following a few specific cases of people fighting against the policies. Counties and voting districts in different states aren’t just a straight grid on a map. Instead, the districts are drawn up to cause an unfair advantage to a party. This was especially true of the REDMAP program instituted in 2008 by the GOP after Barack Obama was elected President to make sure Republicans could dominate Congress as well as politics on a state level.

Much of the film deals with Katie Fahey’s group Citizens United that has decided to take on the politicians with its grassroots campaign to allow the people’s voices and votes to start counting. (One of the programs that grew out of REDMAPping was that thousands of voters were not able to vote since a few states passed a law that ID was required to vote, thereby keeping black and brown voters from the polls.)

Yes, it’s a rather complicated situation but it’s one that people in the primarily liberal states like New York, California and others really need to know about, since it’s why we have a reality TV host as our President right now as well as why we have a Republican Senate that just prevented him from being impeached. All of the bigger politics goes back to the individual state politics and how gerrymandering and REDMAP unfairly sways the vote against those who win on the state level in census years (essentially every ten years including 2020). Originally, this was going to get a theatrical release in March but now it will only be available on digital and On Demand, so you can find out how to see it on the official site.

I also want to give a little extra attention to Deborah Kampmeier’s TAPE (Full Moon Films), which skipped its theatrical release instead to do an interesting “virtual theatrical run,” playing every night On Demand via CrowdCast. It’s available every night at 7pm eastern followed by discussions with the filmmakers and then will be on Digital and VOD on April 10. Again, these are changing times, but this is a haunting and powerful thriller based on true events, starring Anarosa Mudd as a woman trying to catch a sleezy casting agent (Tarek Bishara) who is preying on actresses and one in particular, played by Isabelle Fuhrman (Orphan). Both of their performances are pretty amazing, Mudd playing a shaven-head whistleblower and Fuhrman playing an ambitious young actress who think she’s finally gotten her much-needed break, but finding out there’s a lot darker side to the business than she expected. While a lot of people have raved about The Assistant as a response to #MeToo, this is a much starker and direct look at the abuse of power to take advantage of young women. The movie is not going to be for everybody, because it takes some time before you realize what Mudd’s character (who could just as easily be Rose MacGowan) is up to, but the way how things play out in the film makes it unforgettable. It’s a fantastic new movie from Kampmeier, who famously had an underage Dakota Fanning have a rape scene in her earlier movie, Hounddog.

A movie that was released last week that I didn’t get to write about (but it’s still available On Demand and Digitally, as many movies currently are) is Lorcan Finnegan’s VIVARIUM (Saban Films), starring Jesse Eisenberg and Imogen Poots. It’s a virtual two-hander in which they play a couple who look at a house in a suburban housing complex where every house looks the same. They soon learn that they can’t escape and things get weirder and weirder from there. I can’t say I loved the movie, because it just got weirder and weirder, almost to a fault at times.

Polish filmmaker Malgorzata Szumowska’s THE OTHER LAMB (IFC Midnight) is another movie about a religious cult, this one a group of women that live in a remote forest commune led by a man they call “Shepherd” (played by Michiel Huisman from Game of Thrones and The Haunting of Hill House). It follows a teenager named Selah (Raffey Cassidy) who begins to question her existence when she starts having nightmarish visions. This was okay, but I really have hit my limit in terms of movies about religious cults. They’ve just been overdone.

Mike Doyle’s rom-com ALMOST LOVE (Vertical) is about a group of middle-aged friends trying to navigate love and relationships with a cast that includes Scott Evans, Kate Walsh, Patricia Clarkson, Augustus Prew and more. Some of the characters are having marital issues, others are dating or getting into early feelings of possible love. It’s a nice distraction from all the serious stuff going on in the world today.

A great music doc now On Demand, digital and other formats (Blu-ray/DVD) is Brent Wilson’s STREETLIGHT HARMONIES (Gravitas), which takes a look at the early doo-wop vocal groups of the ‘50s and ‘60s that predated and formed the basis for Rock & Roll, Rhythm & Blues and other music genres as we know them today. It deals with acts like The Drifters, Little Antony and the Imperials, The Platters, and Frankie Lymon and the Teenagers. It includes interviews with some of the more recent acts influenced by it including En Vogue and N’Sync as well as Brians Wilson and McKnight. I was surprised by how much I enjoyed this despite doo-wop not being my preferred music style. (For the sake of transparency, I helped out with a little bit of publicity on this film.)

Also, Olivier Meyrou’s fly-on-the-wall doc Celebration (1091) is a movie that was commissioned by Yves Saint Laurent’s former lover and business partner, Pierre Bergé, more than ten years ago but was shelved for being too revealing. It was filmed over the course of three years where Laurent was at his most frail and mostly separated from the world as we get a look inside one of the last great haute couture houses. It’s now available On Demand and digitally.

Jon Abrahams directs and co-stars in Clover (Freestyle Digital Media) opposite the great Mark Webber, playing bumbling Irish twins trying to pay off their father’s debt to local mob boss Tony Davolo, played by Chazz Palminteri. Things get more complicated when a teen girl named Clover (Nicole Elizabeth Berger) shows up and the brothers need to protect her from Tony’s “hit-women.” Looks like a fun dark comedy.

Unfortunately, Saban Films didn’t offer advance review screeners of the action sequel, Rogue Warrior: The Hunt (Saban Films), directed by Mike Gunther, but it stars Will Yun Lee. I’m not sure if this is a sequel to 2017’s Rogue Warrior: The Hunt, but I haven’t seen that either. It involves the leader of an elite team of soldiers being captured by terrorists, so his team needs rescue him. Oh, and Stephen Lang (Avatar, Don’t Breathe) is in it, too.

STREAMING AND CABLE

This week’s Netflix offerings include the streaming network’s latest true-crime documentary series, HOW TO FIX A DRUG SCANDAL, directed by Erin Lee Carr (Dirty Money), which covers the 2013 case of Sonja Farak, a crime drug lab specialist who was arrested for tampering with evidence but also accused of using the drugs she was supposed to be testing. (It’s on the service as of this writing.)

Stuber and Good director Michael Dowse helms the action-comedy COFFEE & KAREEM, starring Ed Helms as police officer James Coffee, who begins dating Taraji P. Henson’s Vanessa Manning while her 12-year-old son Kareem (Terrence Little Gardenhigh) plots their break-up. Kareem hires criminal fugitives to kill Coffee but instead ends up getting his whole family targeted, so the two must team up. Also starring Betty Gilpin, RonReaco Lee, Andrew Bachelor and David Alan Grier.

Also on Friday, Disney Plus will stream two Disneynature docs, Dolphin Reef and Elephant, in honor of Earth Day taking place later this month. Previously, one or both of these movies might have been released theatrically but hey, earth is going to hell right now.

Now playing on Hulu is the latest installment of Blumhouse’s “Into the Dark,” Alejandro Brugué’s Pooka Lives, which ties in with “Pooka Day” (no idea what that is) but apparently, Pooka is a fictional creature like “Slender Man” that was created on Creepypasta by a group of friends that goes viral but then manifests into creatures that become real. It stars fan faves Felicia Day, Will Wheaton, Rachel Bloom and more.

Next week, more movies not in theaters!

By the way, if you read this week’s column and have read this far down, feel free to drop me some thoughts at Edward dot Douglas at Gmail dot Com or send me a note on Twitter. I love hearing from readers!

#Movies #Reviews #TheWeekendWarrior SlayTheDragon Streaming VOD #TheWeekendWarrior #Vivarium #SlayTheDragon #Streaming #VOD

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iamsiddharthanilnair · 5 years

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Chief of Defence Staff, Gen. Rawat & Shreya Dhoundial (CNN-NEWS18) Interview Review.

In the foreground of the DefExpo 2020 in Lucknow, Uttar Pradesh, India’s first Chief of Defense Staff (CDS) Gen. Bipin Rawat sat with CNN-News18’s Shreya Dhoundial for his first interview in this new position.

The interview threw up three specific themes - monetary concerns facing the Defense Establishment, the policies following India’s defence procurement for the next three years and the development of Integrated Theatre Commands. There were cursory topics as well - the underutilisation of military assets (land and infrastructure), a ballooning pension fund, retirement ages in the military, the General’s recent media exposure following the anti-CAA/NRC protests taking place across the country, and his statements regarding radicalisation in Jammu/Kashmir.

Interoperability in the Armed Forces

The very basis for the establishment of the Department of Military Affairs, the issue of interoperability and jointness among the three armed forces was brought up as a crucial arena for the CDS. The operational and logistical insulation of the three forces is seen as a comparative weakness in maintaining a credible deterrence to potential adversaries and in conducting sub-conventional/conventional campaigns. The CDS hopes that through the establishment of the Defence Acquisition Committee (DAC) and additional institutional bodies like it, the military establishment will be able to optimise training, logistics and war-fighting capabilities.

According to the CDS, such integration has always been possible in the Indian Military - based on existing integrated formations in Andaman & Nicobar Islands. However, the ambitions of the current CDS is visible in the initiation of the Integrated Battle Group programme, the development of Theatre Commands and the envelopment of the National Air Defence under the Indian Airforce’s (IAF) command.

A Meagre Budget & Staggered Purchases

The CDS has phased his tenure into four parts - 100 days, 1st year, 2nd and so on. The initial 100 days are to be dedicated to appraisals and project explorations; the CDS has also initiated procurement and production deals to accelerate the Armed Forces’ modernisation campaign. A perennial hurdle, the defence budget for 2020-21 has experienced a meagre increase - only 5.8%. This will remain a hurdle in the mission to resupply, optimise and modernise a rapidly deteriorating force structure.

The CDS was quick to defer the criticisms of a small budget, and explained that the way forward was focusing on adequate budgeting and management practices - imminent changes to effect critical areas and a staggered procurement model to even out downtime periods across weapons platforms and combat-ready units.

The argument for staggered purchases made by the CDS, while simplistic, is emblematic of the inventory issues plaguing the Indian Armed Forces. The combined problems of a small budget and a diverse inventory (in era and type) has resulted in a dearth of combat-ready units, i.e. units without ammunition reserves and weapon-specific logistics in place. A major thorn in the Forces’ ability to maintain a dependable OPTEMPO, the CDS claims to have understood the gravity of the situation and has initiated a few exploratory committees to delve into how best the Indian Army, Navy and Airforce can plug the aforementioned gap in inventory.

The changes in the geo-political environment has furthered the need to expand ammunition and armour supplies; the rocket and missile inventory has been deemed unfit and is now been plugged to maintain combat capabilities for a 40-day, 10(I) conflict scenario.

By giving the example of the Russian T-90 Main Battle Tank (MBT), the CDS highlighted how the wholesale purchase of weapon systems/platforms can result in increased downtime for maintenance and life-cycle servicing. The key concern is maintaining a 10-15% downtime across all verticals - units, platforms and systems - which, according to the CDS is possible only with staggered purchases. This concern runs parallel to the issue of a diverse inventory, a recent hot topic in the media after the decommission of the Indian Airforce’s (IAF) last MiG-27 “Bahadur” squadron - Scorpion 29 - in Rajasthan.

The Budget & Critical Areas

The defence budget for 2020-21 is capped at $73.65 billion, of which only 25% is earmarked for weapons purchases and 75% is demarcated for infrastructure, maintenance, recurring payments and pensions (29%). There is also the concern of existing liabilities and division of the budget (between the 3 Armed Forces); $6.76 billion to the Airforce (down from $7.01 billion in 2019-20), $4.56 billion to the Navy and $5.06 billion to the Army. All monies would be directed towards current purchases such as the S-400 system, the M-777 ULH and lease of stealth frigates from Russia.

Some time was spent on discussing the issue of pension payments and retirement ages in the military. The CDS reiterated the calls for higher retirement ages (he suggests 58 years) and the need to maintain the Indian Armed Force's knowledge heirarchies e.g. in the logistics, ordinance, administrative and medical corps. This would aid in reducing the budgetary portion dedicated to pensions and simultaneoulsy maintain the force's expertise and professionalism over the coming years.

In the same vein, the CDS identified the critical areas that would see immediate changes - a national air-defence (AD) network under the IAF and modernisation of artillery divisions in the North and Western Commands. These areas have received reasonable publicity lately; the former has been mentioned as part of a multi-layer approach to AD across the nation’s capital cities, acquisitions from Israel (Spyder) and Russia (S-400), the possible entry of the US’ NASAMS-II into the Indian AD system and the development of indigenous missile systems such as Akash and Prithvi. The latter, key to India’s defensive posture vis-a-vis China and Pakistan has been showcased in the development of the indigenously-built K9 Vajra Mobile Artillery Gun and the Pinaka Multi-Barrel Rocket Launch (MBRL) system. The induction of the US M-777 Ultra-Light Howitzers (ULH) and self-propelled Excalibur rounds, has also grabbed headlines; a response to the outdated Bofors system whose life-cycle services were a considerable burden on a conservative budget.

Conclusion

The DefExpo 2020 did well to shine a light on the domestic defence establishment, and helped secure a linkage between foreign and domestic firms, e.g. the MoU between Lockheed Martin and BEL or Airbus-Adani Aerospace and Defence. Unfortunately or otherwise, such displays are usually political in nature and the more technical aspects of procurement are left unearthed.

While the CDS has managed to set certain reforms in motion, the larger effects of this change in state capacity is yet to be seen. Positives are there where they are to be found, but the outlook, remains as challenging. The sheer scope of the tasks under the CDS’s belt is immense - develop jointness between the three forces; modernise and resupply deteriorating inventory; initiate capabilities in unconventional arenas such as cyber, information and space.

Written by Siddharth Anil Nair.

*Look forward to my more specific piece on the use of staggered purchases on the IPCS Website.

#India #Defence-Aqcuisitions

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digitalmonsterorg · 5 years

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Top 11 SEO Experts Revealing “How to Improve Google Ranking?” [EXCLUSIVE ROUNDUP]

We conducted a SEO Roundup with SEO Leaders across the globe on "Best SEO Strategies" on the topic “Advice to Marketers for Improving Website’s Google Ranking in 2019 – 2020”. We reached out to SEO Thought Leaders of top ranked organisations who are prominent in their businesses and received few exclusive advice for marketers and digital agencies. The response we received has been quite insightful and fascinating. We are delighted to share with our privileged Digitalmonster.org readers the top tips and actionable techniques given by the veterans of the world of SEO like Larry KIM, Bruce Clay and many others. Some of the revealing facts are: How to achieve top keyword position on Google? What does Google expect from a website? How to improve website quality score? What is the right content strategy? How to get right people to do the right job? How to hire a SEO agency? Tips for sustaining in this dynamic Digital Search mode? and many more.. Here are the responses from the experts. 1) Larry Kim - CEO at MobileMonkey Larry's 3 Best Ways to Improve Google Rankings:

Increasing time on page and reducing your bounce rate and improving mobile speed will increase your site's quality score. Getting more branded queries will tell Google that your company is an authority in your space. Getting higher than expected Click-Through-Rates on organic click-through rates. I believe that in 2019 the above 3 activities will greatly increase your Google rankings and is even more valuable than traditional SEO activities like link building and on-page SEO. 2) Bruce Clay - Owner of Bruce Clay, Inc. Bruce's 5 Best Ways to Improve Google Rankings:

Hire a professional at an expert level. That is not hiring “just an SEO” – you need to hire a seasoned team led by a person with over 10 years of SEO experience. Be prepared to make changes to your website. Many times the web team is too busy to pay attention to “enhancements”. Make sure there is a commitment to implementing SEO changes. Have a suitable budget, then double it. You are competing, and so you need to run faster than the competition. Hire smart and compete like your life depends upon it. That takes resources, tools, education, staff and more. Never hire the cheapest brain surgeon. Know your competition. Sometimes you can merge with them. Sometimes they will link to you. Sometimes you can partner for mutual benefit. But keep your enemies close and watch and outmaneuver their moves. Simply put, become least imperfect. Buy Google. I have not tried this, but if you own Google you may be able to rank better for a few keywords… who knows? 3) Ashley Ward - Digital Marketing Strategist at Madhouse Matters, Keynote Speaker, Author Ashley's Ways to Improve Google Rankings:

Coming from a content perspective, creating content that answers what people are searching for or provides them with entertainment based on what they're looking for on Google is the best way to help improve your rankings. Tons and tons of websites will rank thanks to a certain blog post that provided a solution to a commonly searched for the query. If the content we produce focuses on doing just that, either entertaining or informing based on relevant queries, we have a chance to improve our rankings drastically. 4) Carolyn Lyden - Lead SEO + Owner at Search Hermit LLC. Carolyn’s Ways to Improve Google Rankings:

Create quality content--whatever the best form of content is for your site and brand--that answers users' questions and helps them do what they're looking to accomplish. Expand your definition of content. It can be anything from the typical blog to user reviews and social media posts. If Google is focusing on entities (source: Cindy Krum), then make sure you’re focused on the content on ALL your digital properties. Create a web of presence for your brand online--and ensure that you’re focusing it all on the user’s needs. 5) David Mink - Founding Partner at Avalaunch Media David's Ways to Improve Google Rankings:

"The best way to improve rankings in Google is to focus on the user. Think about the intent of the keyword that the user is searching, make sure that the content experience that you are providing is giving them the best possible answer/solution to their inquiry. If your website has great content (optimized for the user with expert-level knowledge) and a great experience (page speed, UI/UX) all the other vanity metrics and indirect ranking signals will help improve your ranking. If your content is truly great you will naturally build the off-site trust signals with shares, peer reviews and links.” 6) Niki Mosier - Technical SEO Manager at Seer Interactive Niki's Ways to Improve Google Rankings:

In my opinion, a strong technical foundation is key to improve organic ranking in Google. Is the site secure, how fast does it load? Is there a good mobile experience? Are there too many redirects, not enough internal links? If Google can't crawl or access or content quickly and efficiently, then it doesn't matter how good that content is. 7) William Kammer - SEO Director at Clearlink William's Ways to Improve Google Rankings:

"Figure out how to increase your real estate on the first page. Ranking on the first page is fine, but what about featured snippets? Rich snippets? Social streams? Media carousels? Map packs? As Google focuses more on "no click" searches (keeping people on Google instead of clicking into websites), it's important for us to increase our exposure as much as possible when we rank. Also, technology is allowing us to gain more data than ever before, it's extremely important for us to accurately and efficiently analyze giant data sets to gain unique insights. If you have the resources, work with other departments like development, engineering, data science, etc. to create internal products to speed up the data gathering and analysis process as well." 8) AL Sefati - SEO Strategist at 9thWonder Agency AL Sefati's Ways to Improve Google Rankings:

With voice search growing, and machine learning playing a bigger role in Google’s algorithm, it is more important than ever for SEO experts of 2019 must be data oriented. They need to utilize all available tools at hand to gather data and make strategic decisions based on those data. It is OK to read other reputable blog posts and learn from them, but your SEO strategy decisions must be your own and based on data you have gathered and analyzed. 9) Dani Hawley - SEO Director at LevLane Advertising Dani's Ways to Improve Google Rankings:

Site content is key! To rank online you need to understand the journey the consumer takes to get there. Research around keywords, topics, and competitors needs to be completed to know ideal journey your target market takes. Each page needs to have a solitary topic around the searched keyword to answer the user's query. Ultimately, Google wants its clients (searchers) to get to a destination that answers their question without having to back out or search around the site for the answer. We can achieve that through optimized content within an SEO strategy. 10) Victoria Olsina - SEO Manager at Consensys Victoria's 3 Best Ways to Improve Google Rankings:

Content and Backlinks: Content is still king in 2019. Every single piece of content we produce for the Consensys website is usually a thousand words or more, and this has led us to dominate rankings within the enterprise blockchain vertical. We are lucky enough to have organic PR coverage and links for most the articles we publish on our blog, but that being said beware of the news websites that just copy and paste every single piece of content triggered by the RSS feed. Good backlinks are still key to top rankings, disavow the low-quality links. Poor quality non-diversified links are one of the reasons why the Daily Mail and CCN have been harshly penalized on the latest Google Algorithm Update. Google wants your answers with the right format: Featured snippets have been around for more than 2 years but more and more I have noticed how cheeky snippets “steal” our organic traffic even though we are ranking higher than those search results. We can’t fight it, we can only adapt our content to Google’s desires and answer the search intent in the predetermined ways: paragraph, lists and bullet points. Double Check the Technical Factors: Just by looking at Linkedin and job boards I have noticed a huge trend in recruitment for in-house technical SEO roles. This is a clear indication of the industry’s priorities and also a hint for what the future of SEO as a profession will be: no more one SEO person optimising for every single factor, but a clear division between content optimisation and technical factors such as javascript rendering, page speed, etc. 11) Chirag Shah - CEO of ShoutnHike Chirag's Ways to Improve Google Rankings:

Title and description with keywords still rule Unique, engaging content with proper H tags and punchlines and subheadline Page loading time Convincing responsive design Blogs on relevant topics and relevant backlinks Bonus Tips- Use latest FREE tool Neil Patel's Uber suggest to get links, ranking, etc. We believe this remarkable real-life experiences and best SEO Tips from the expert’s actionable techniques can help you improve your website’s Google ranking and positioning. Do you have any other SEO strategy, tips, or recommendations to boost the website’s Google ranking? We would love to hear it from you. Let us know in the comments! Read the full article

#BruceClay #GoogleRanking #HowtoImproveGoogleRanking #LarryKIMTips #SEORoundup #SEOTips

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privateplates4u · 5 years

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Choosing the 2017 Motor Trend Best Driver’s Car

Patron saint of literary cool Joan Didion—who stalked the steamy, smoggy canyons of Los Angeles in a Daytona Yellow 1969 Corvette Stingray—once said, “Rationality, reasonableness bewilder me.” If only Didion were along for this year’s Best Driver’s Car competition. There is nothing rational or reasonable about holding the keys to $1.9 million worth of the world’s dreamiest sports cars, exotics, grand tourers, and supercars. It’s one thing to parse the packaging of family-friendly compact SUVs. That’s our day job. Best Driver’s Car is about the way a car makes you feel. It’s about the bees in your belly as you clip an apex, the giggles induced by the slingshot launch of barely restrained acceleration, and the sense of satisfaction that comes from the melding of man and machine. Where’s the cupholder for my latte in the McLaren? Can you fit anyone in that back seat of a 911? How much does that Ferrari 488 really cost? Don’t know. Don’t care. Our Highway Patrol–assisted closure of California State Route 198 and subsequent invasion of Mazda Raceway Laguna Seca are the highlights of this event. But the Best Driver’s Car format actually began two weeks prior at Auto Club Speedway, when our testing trio of Kim Reynolds, Chris Walton, and Erick Ayapana took their first crack at our contenders with our battery of standardized instrumented testing. To earn the title of Best Driver’s Car, a vehicle must deliver a balance of usable performance, intuitive handling, and driver-friendly design. The winner should be a vehicle with a multidimensional personality, a car that will delight and reward the enthusiast driver on any road at any time, regardless of weather and traffic conditions. We had quite the field this year, with representation from Italy, Germany, Japan, England, and the V-8 thunder of American freedom. But as the test team crunched the test results, there was no clear leader. A storm was brewing. Highway 198 Revisited A four-hour drive along I-5’s trackless wastes brings us to our hotel in King City, California. Most of the other judges had convoyed up together around noon. But with most of California tucked into bed, associate editor Scott Evans and I made great time in the Aston Martin and Corvette. We rolled into the King City Days Inn a tick past midnight. We were the last to arrive, but our hotel clerk couldn’t have been happier. It isn’t every day you get to meet a YouTube hero, a certain “Mr. Lieberman,” who earlier had given an impromptu car show to our host. His fan club is everywhere. Highway 198 is a magical place, an undulating public two-lane roadway filled with tight switchbacks, sweeping curves, midcorner bumps, long straights, and panoramic views. It’s a gorgeous 4.2-mile stretch of roadway that climbs about 1,000 feet, allowing Motor Trend judges to test each contender at its (and their own) limits. Any shortcomings of either car or driver will be quickly identified on this passage. It is the mill that grinds the grist. Just past daybreak, the ground fog still clearing, we pulled to the side of the road to set up camp, clean cars, and wait for the California Highway Patrol’s black and white Ford Explorers to close the road so we could begin. After a team meeting, we fired up all 86 cylinders and commenced our first runs up the beckoning hills—each of us starting in the familiar car we had driven from L.A. That meant the Chevrolet Corvette Grand Sport, intimidating in looks and sound, for me. The ’Vette is really a sweetheart once set up properly—Driver Mode Select in Sport and the steering wheel set to Tour. In those modes, the throttle response is linear and quick, and the suspension is dialed in to maximize the car’s speed around corners. The steering is light and direct, though you need to make a conscious effort to slow yourself down because turn-in is still very quick. That doesn’t mean there isn’t room for improvement. “Needs 100 extra horsepower! Felt slow!” Jonny shouted after his turn behind the wheel. Also, the crowded seven-speed manual gearbox has rubbery, ropey throws and doesn’t like to be rushed, and the gear ratios felt too tall for the track-oriented Grand Sport. Said executive editor Mark Rechtin: “It seems like there was a big gap between the powerbands in third and fourth gear.” Chevy used to sandbag the Camaro to avoid stepping on the Corvette’s toes, but those days are gone. The Camaro ZL1 1LE is an uncaged race car. As he pulled into our makeshift pit lane, Jonny could be heard screaming, “Yeaaaah!” and clapping his hands. You’d think power would be why the Camaro works so well, but it’s actually grip that’s the key to this muscle car. Those steamroller-wide, superglue-sticky Goodyear tires work hand in hand with the DSSV dampers and the added aero aids to ensure that the Camaro can use each and every one of its 650 horses. “You quickly learn you can trust the tires as you unleash the power,” Detroit editor Alisa Priddle said. Scott added: “There’s a lot of vertical movement in the cabin, but the car never jumps sideways a foot when it hits a midcorner bump; it never moves around laterally at all.” The downside to the Camaro’s grip is its ride quality—basically there is none. “I’ve encountered smoother paint mixers,” guest judge Derek Powell said. “The bouncing was so bad that I found myself reacting to that instead of focusing on the sheer act of driving. The nuclear-waste green Mercedes-AMG GT R provoked whoops and hollers from all of the drivers. A brutal supercar that rewards fortitude, the AMG needs to be driven flat out in order to properly enjoy it. Dig deep into the 577-hp twin-turbo V-8, and you’re compensated by a violent surge of power and the soundtrack “of a small arms factory exploding behind your hips every time you come off the throttle,” as Jonny put it. “Let it rip,” Alisa added. “The AMG has the power to get unruly, but it holds the road incredibly well.” Although the Mercedes’ nose bites with ferocity—only fighting back once you approach its limits—the rear end wasn’t as well behaved even at sane speeds. “There were several times when the rear would hop side to side or even produce drop-throttle oversteer or on-power oversteer,” Chris said. Unlike the Merc, it’s hard to get into trouble in the Mazda Miata RF. Like any good naturally aspirated engine, the Miata is happy to rev its way to redline, growling sweetly as you stab the clutch and flick the six-speed manual into its next gear. The Miata is not fast, but it rewards a driver’s skill. Entering corners, the Miata RF is surprisingly tail-happy. Mazda rehashed the ragtop’s suspension for 2017, but the RF is unsettled. “It’s always dancing on the top of its springs and edge of its tires,” Scott said. With traction control on, the Mazda’s electronic systems are constantly grabbing at the brakes to keep the Miata’s tail in line—sapping the little power the RF has to give. A better beginner sports car to explore one’s limits might be the Porsche 718 Cayman S. “The chassis is so beautifully balanced, the handling so predictable,” Derek said. “Each movement is connected directly to the brain’s synapses.” Scott agreed, adding: “Steering is among the best here—talkative and light, quick enough but not too much. I wish the Miata handled like this.” The 718’s 350-hp mid-mounted turbo flat-four is a good match for the platform, too–even if some of our judges wish it sounded less like a garbage disposal eating a fork. Alisa silenced those critics: “There are those who miss the sound of the old throaty engine, but the trade-off for a nice, wide powerband is worth it.” There isn’t much room for improvement in the 718, but the Aston Martin DB11 could use some help in the braking department. Its 600-hp V-12 is more than capable of getting its nearly 4,200 pounds of British aluminium going (and quickly at that), but it lacks the brakes or suspension to handle that heft on a twisty road. The DB11 has three suspension settings, but all feel inadequate for spirited performance. Its body control was subpar, the car displaying a tendency to porpoise through corners and over bumps. “It’s a wonderful GT car and is happy at high speeds, as long as the road doesn’t twist too much,” Scott said. Upsides: The V-12 provides epic thrust, and the steering is beautifully weighted, light, and linear—just as a British GT car should be. As the Aston’s counterpoint in the grand touring department, the Lexus LC 500 was a revelation, having done its homework on chassis and suspension tuning. “The fundamentals are all there,” Jonny said. Scott provided further details: “Weight transfer is nicely handled, and the car sits in a turn nicely.” The Lexus provides light, progressive feedback from the wheel, and its four-wheel-steering system helps make the LC feel smaller than it is. The LC’s 5.0-liter V-8 makes a good match for the 10-speed auto, though the gearbox was frustrating for its abundance of overdrive gears. “How can this car have 10 gears and never, ever be in the right one?” Chris asked. “There were at least a dozen rejected downshifts.” You’d expect the lone four-door sedan in our group to be soft, but it’s clear the Alfa Romeo Giulia Quadrifoglio “is a sports car regardless of how many doors it has,” Derek said. The Alfa’s sportiness is baked into its chassis; it’s a car that rewards smooth inputs yet begs to be driven hard. “This might be the best-handling sedan I have driven in 25 years of automotive journalism,” Mark said. “And yes, that includes the W124 and E39.” The 2.9-liter twin-turbo V-6 is laggy down low, but it hits you in the face with a sledgehammer once you’re above 2,000 rpm. Its eight-speed auto rattles off shifts as if it were a dual-clutch transmission. Complaints? A few. The engine, for all its power, doesn’t communicate what it’s doing at redline, making shifting by ear difficult. Some also found the Alfa’s Italian electrics a little buggy, with inconsistent brake-by-wire feel and a seemingly overeager overheat protection mode that would impose a 5,000-rpm rev limiter on the engine and limit torque vectoring at the rear axle. The other Italian in our group, the Ferrari 488 GTB, delivered thrills on an epiphanic level. After piling out of the Ferrari babbling a red-mist rant, Mark calmed down enough to say, “This delivers every teenager’s fantasy when they think of Ferrari.” The Ferrari 488 is one of those rare cars that makes you feel immediately at home despite its exotic appearance. The cabin is open and airy with a driver-focused interface. There are no distractions. Your hands hold a flat-bottomed, carbon-fiber and leather steering wheel, and all the needed controls are a finger’s reach away. Not only does the 488 GTB feel magical merely sitting still, but it’s also glorious to drive. The Ferrari’s small twin-turbocharged engine makes 661 horsepower. “It’s a force of nature, like being picked up by a tornado,” Scott said. The 488 also carries tenacious grip “with a flat attitude and fingertip control while cornering at speeds 10 to 15 mph faster than other vehicles—with the same if not greater confidence heading down 198 as up,” editor-in-chief Ed Loh said. The Achilles’ heel for the Ferrari is its brakes—the carbon ceramics have a slightly wooden feel and squeak like the midnight subway to Coney Island. If on the emotional scale the Ferrari is an embrace from a Victoria’s Secret model, the McLaren 570GT is a polite but firm handshake from gritty Bruce himself. Last year’s winning 570S was a highly rewarding and technical car, but in softening the 570 for grand touring duty, McLaren seemed to scrape away some of the special sauce. “It’s not what I would have expected,” Chris said. “This one feels far more ass-happy and less balanced and composed.” The 570GT feels stuck between sledgehammer and rubber mallet—it no longer drives like a supercar, but it’s not soft enough to drive like a proper GT. The issue is especially apparent if you’ve forgotten to press the “Active” button. Turn on the Active Panel, and dig into the 30-some-odd possible drivetrain configurations, and that sharpens steering and throttle response. But then the handling becomes unpredictable. “There were times when I’d exit a corner and the engine and transmission would be ready for it, and I’d rocket out onto the straight at full boost,” Derek said. “Other times it felt like I caught the car unaware.” When the McLaren is awake, there’s a hint of that 570S magic in its fingertip-light steering, supple ride, and peaky but powerful little engine, but the 570GT’s inconsistency hurt its credibility. If you want instant confidence bordering on immortality, the Porsche 911 Turbo S is your machine. Despite the PDK seven-speed dual-clutch doing the shifting, despite the torque-vectoring all-wheel-drive system constantly shuffling around the twin-turbo flat-six’s 580 hp, and despite the four-wheel steering making the 911 feel smaller than it is, the Porsche makes its driver feel responsible for it all. “Right out of the box, the 911 Turbo S lets you drive as fast as you dare, brake as hard as you can, and turn as much as you wish,” Derek said. “It doesn’t just inspire confidence. It inspires a relationship with the driver.” Still, some, like Jonny, thought the 911 made things too easy. “This thing is weaponized speed,” he said. “It’s maniacally capable but not the most engaging car, let alone 911, I’ve ever driven.” Added Ed: “It is a focused tool intended for one purpose: going very fast. Really hard to find a flaw here; if I’m being really critical, it’s a bit anodyne.” He quickly followed with: “I take it back about it being boring.” Now eight years since it made its debut, the latest Nissan GT-R NISMO still remains very proficient at hauling ass. Defined by what should be physically impossible levels of grip, it’s a car that you chuck into corners, mash the gas, and let the all-wheel-drive system sort things out. Godzilla’s 3.8-liter twin-turbo V-6 is indeed a monster worthy of the name—boost hits strong, and the power keeps coming. “This engine pulls and surges effortlessly,” Erick said. Ed said it was “noticeably sharper, like they ran the GT-R over a Japanese whetstone.” But some things don’t change. The programming on the GT-R’s six-speed dual-clutch is lacking, making manual shifting a must for performance driving. The ride is literally a sore spot. And then there’s the steering—it broke. Nearly every judge had a bizarre issue after hitting a midcorner bump, where the steering wheel would go cockeyed at a 20-degree angle, yet the car would be going straight down the road. Then the steering wheel would correct itself as if nothing had happened. Chris had it happen multiple times, with GT-R chief engineer Hiroshi Tamura riding shotgun. “It was an unusual electro-mechanical anomaly,” Chris said. “Tamura-san was as curious about it as I was.” As Motor Trend en Español editor Miguel Cortina nursed the NISMO back to our makeshift Highway 198 paddock, he handed the keys to Tamura-san and the Nissan team for repairs. The question as we pointed our field north toward Mazda Raceway Laguna Seca was whether the GT-R would be fixed in time for our staff champion racer Randy Pobst’s hot laps around the track. Hot Shoes, Cool Fog Monterey, let alone Mazda Raceway, has its own microclimate. Monterey proper was warm and clear, but the track was cool and foggy. It would be lousy for visibility but great for the turbocharged cars that Randy would run that day. After a quick sighting lap in our long-term Honda Civic to scout the conditions, Randy, Ed, and the test team determined which six cars to run on day one. 718. Corvette. Ferrari. McLaren. Camaro. 911. The assembled teams scrambled off to start prepping the cars. Meanwhile, a local Nissan dealer was attempting to bandage Godzilla. The Cayman was ready first. Randy hopped in, fired up the rumbly little four-pot, and set off for his hot laps. Not long after—1:40.22 to be exact—Randy pulled the ticking 718 into the pit with a huge smile on his face: “People! Marry this car! This is not like the crazy, scary girlfriend who will give you the time of your life and then boil your rabbit in the morning. The Cayman S has such beautiful balance; it’s so good that I felt like I could push it harder and harder.” Not long after, Randy set out in the red, white, and blue Corvette. But when he came back, Randy’s smile had been replaced with a scowl: “It wasn’t until the second timed lap that the tires started to get some temperature, but the car still wanted to power oversteer at throttle tip in. The front is ready to turn full blast, and the rear isn’t. Or the rear is ready to accelerate, and the front’s not too happy.” Going out in the Ferrari 488 GTB seemed to cheer Randy up before he was flagged for breaking Monterey’s punitive noise regulations: “I talked about marrying the Cayman, but this car is your mistress! This car accelerates so quickly that I needed to apex a lot later. The turbos on that Ferrari V-8 give it a big, fat torque curve. The transmission is such a beautiful match for that engine.” He did caution that the brakes did not provide a solid initial bite and that pedal pressure and brake force were not in cahoots. And like that, Randy was off in the McLaren 570GT, choosing to leave the stability control on because it felt fairly easy to break the rear end loose. “Track mode gets into a nice place where it allows some drift,” Randy said. “But it’s controlling the throttle a bit for me, and it’s less satisfying because I’m not the one driving. I could even feel the stability control activating significantly in Turn 1. The McLaren is fast enough that we’re arriving there at over 140 mph, and the car gets light and a bit oversteery.” You’d think the Camaro ZL1 1LE that Randy lapped next would be as oversteery as the Brit, but its claws stuck into the track. “This thing handles so well,” he said. “For a front-engine, rear-drive car with 650 horsepower, the traction was incredible. It put power down extremely well. Stability controls aren’t necessary for the average good driver.” The same rules applied for Randy’s last car of the day, the 911 Turbo S. “I don’t want to get out,” he said. “This car is the one you married, and it’s your mistress. It’s the whole package. I’m so utterly blown away by its capability. It was incredibly rewarding to drive. I was driving that car hard because I could.” As we wound down for the day, the Nissan GT-R arrived—but after a quick spin, Chris and Tamura-san quickly shut it down. Not ready. Nissan PR called for an identical white GT-R NISMO to be shuttled up from L.A. the next morning. It needed to arrive before the track went cold at 5:30 p.m. The Final Countdown As the clock started ticking for the NISMO on day two, we turned our attention to the remaining cars’ hot laps. Or warm laps in the case of the Miata RF. Its lap around its namesake track is not surprisingly the slowest of our 12, but it’s probably one of the most fun. “The MX-5 makes every trip to the grocery store feel like a Grand Prix at 34 mph,” Randy said. “I have to really slow my hands down because it leans over a lot. I like to trail-brake into a corner, and the Miata does not like that. But you can go around screaming at redline all day and not end up in jail.” By comparison, the Mercedes-AMG GT R is a go-directly-to-jail card. “This AMG really has personality in its engine,” Randy said. “It’s satisfying to pull all the way to redline. The fat torque curve makes it easier to drive, too, because it’s more controllable.” But the brakes started exhibiting signs of heat soak by the time Randy was on his final lap. Although the Lexus LC 500 might not spring to mind as a track car, Randy found it to be a delightful experience. But he also had some caution. “When attacking the corners, the Lexus is reluctant to change direction,” he said. “But once it finally comes down the apex and I go back to power, it’s beautiful from then on.” Randy was pleasantly surprised with the other front-engine GT car in our group, the Aston Martin DB11: “My expectations were low. I thought it would be a boat, but I was wrong. Well behaved on the track. Surprisingly good handler. Responsive and well damped in the Sport Plus suspension setting.” But the Aston’s brakes were shot midway through its second hot lap. With still no sign of our missing NISMO, Randy hit the track in the Giulia Quadrifoglio, returning with queries about cornering inconsistency: “I think there are electronic variations with the torque-vectoring differential. When I started at a quick pace, small steering changes really brought the car into the corner. Then when I go flat out, I get a lot of understeer in the middle of the corner under some circumstances but not others. I noticed the brake pedal doing something similar, too. It’s a lot of fun, it’s fast, it’s quick handing, but I’m not a fan of variation.” The Return of Godzilla All available cars having run, there was still no NISMO. Ed called a meeting; the manufacturers who wanted another lap would get one. Porsche wanted the Cayman to run again, citing the fog on day one. Ferrari wanted a run with flushed brake lines and new calipers and pads. The Corvette would run in Sport mode. And why not? The AMG GT R and McLaren 570GT could rerun, too. But if the GT-R showed up, bonus laps would cease. The Cayman, Corvette, McLaren, and Ferrari improved their times—the Italian by nearly a full second, leading some to suspect Ferrari’s mechanics did far more than change the brakes. But the AMG was actually 0.2 second slower. With 45 minutes on the clock, our replacement NISMO rolled into the paddock. The garage buzzed around the NISMO. The test team hooked up our data-logging gear, replaced wheels and tires, torqued lug nuts, and checked pressures. Video mounted and prepped cameras. Sound strapped down microphones. Everyone else stayed the hell out of the way. Some Formula 1 pit crews aren’t this in sync. At 5:15, Randy hopped in the GT-R and blazed a 1:35.01 lap. “The GT-R has been around for a long time,” he said. “It has gotten better and better, and the NISMO is the best version, but after it brakes pretty well once or twice, it starts getting hot. And when you first tip into this thing, it gives you full power and throws the car completely off balance. All-wheel drive or not, it suddenly makes the car run wide.” It was 5:30 on the dot. Time to hash out the winner. Final Tally When you have such a closely contested field, it is almost harder to pick the last-place car than the winner. Someone has to come last even if we really truly love our cellar dweller. And love, love we do, the 12th-place Aston Martin DB11. The DB11 is a great car to drive, but it’s not a good driver’s car. It’s a little too heavy, a little soft. There’s still plenty to like, though. “It’s beautiful inside and out,” Miguel said. It has a killer engine, too. Derek described the sound of the starter as “God Himself wound a pull cord around the flywheel and gave it a wondrous yank.” Coming in 11th place is a car that was minutes away from earning a DNF: the Nissan GT-R NISMO. Mechanical issues aside, the Nissan’s 11th-place finish is a testament to how competitive this year’s field was. Yeah, it’s a bit heavy and a bit vague through corners, and it isn’t as fast as some of the new kids on the block. “It’s impressive that there are still improvements to be made,” Ed said. Godzilla might be old, but he sure as hell can still breathe fire. Tenth place goes to the Mazda MX-5 Miata RF Club. Miatas are the go-to for entry-level racers, and that ain’t just because of its price point—it’s because it is an exceptionally well-composed sports car with approachable, unintimidating limits. But although the Miata ragtop finished in third a few years back, the package isn’t improved by adding 125 pounds worth of complicated hardtop, which doesn’t accommodate a helmeted driver. Also, Mazda’s suspension tweaks fell out of favor of our judges. Oh how the mighty have fallen. After winning it all with the 570S last year, McLaren comes in ninth place this year. The 570GT is unsure of its place on the road. There are moments of brilliance in the delicacy of its steering, its surgical precision, and its tremendous brake feel, but the 570GT never gives you the confidence to go for more. “Somehow the magic of the 570S didn’t translate into the 570GT,” Chris said. “It’s a brilliant car, but it’s no winner.” Jonny had argued against bringing the Lexus LC 500 because it’s so big and heavy. But chastened, following its respectable eighth-place finish, he said: “Folks, we have an athlete on our hands.” We were all impressed with the Lexus’ sonorous V-8, quick-shifting automatic, and crisp steering feel—even if the LC was too eager to default to understeer at its limit. “Tighten this thing up, cut some weight, add some power, and you’ve got a really good GT car here,” Scott said. It seems that the Chevrolet Corvette is always this close to perfection, and that remains the folly of the seventh-place Corvette Grand Sport Z07. First the good: Its 6.2-liter V-8 is fantastic. It’s got a big, meaty powerband, and although it could probably benefit from an extra 100 horsepower, it’s tremendously rewarding to drive. The Corvette’s biggest issue is its transmission—its gearbox doesn’t like to be rushed, and its gear ratios are ultimately too tall and too widely spaced for performance driving. Sixth place goes to the Alfa Romeo Giulia Quadrifoglio. The Alfa is high strung, but that’s part of the fun—the engine is laggy down low and peaky up high, and the steering is so quick off-center that you’re liable to drive off the road if you so much as sneeze. “LOL-fast steering, short gearing mixed with a turbo-tickled powertrain,” Ed said. This is where things get real close; any of our top five could have justifiably won the whole shebang. Finishing a few points shy of fourth place, the Mercedes-AMG GT R is a helluva car. “The harder you drive this thing, the better it gets,” Erick said. But it needs to be driven at ten-tenths to get the most enjoyment out of it. Wring it out for all it’s worth, and it rewards you with endless grip and lightning-quick shifts. But it isn’t as gratifying at five-tenths as it is flat-out. The Chevrolet Camaro ZL1 1LE’s fourth-place finish was a contentious one. We could agree on power and grip. The fact that all 650 of the Camaro’s horsepower is usable without instantly vaporizing the rear rubber is an engineering feat. But some of us maintained that a car couldn’t win Best Driver’s Car if you didn’t want to drive it every day. “I’ve probably lost all my fillings, and my kidneys are bruised,” Derek lamented, to which Jonny retorted: “Some judges thought the ride was too harsh on their way to Pilates class, but who cares? Finishing fourth is a failure of democracy.” One vote is all that separates our second- and third-place finishers. One. Earning the bronze is the technological tour de force that is the 911 Turbo S. It never seems to run out of grip, power, or brakes. “The 911 Turbo S is so amazingly competent on every level—without having any visible compromises—that it’s easy to forget how high its limits are,” Derek said. “Some might be tempted to punish the Porsche for its unflappable greatness. Big mistake.” Life’s funny. The Porsche 718 Cayman S wasn’t supposed to be here. We didn’t invite it until a last-second dropout had us scrambling to fill a hole in our lineup. Now the 718 Cayman S is tootling away with a silver medal. “There is something really spirited and sweet about this car,” Alisa said. “It’s so well balanced and smooth, so seamless in its power delivery and responsive to the slightest steering input.” Mark agreed: “It’s an exacting corner-carving machine that entices you to push your limits even more.” Erick, who did his best to hog the Cayman most of the week, called it “lovely,” adding that it “felt impossible to do wrong in this car.” Simply put, the 718 is a phenom. Deus ex Machina You’d think a mid-engine supercar would be a one-trick pony, but our 2017 Best Driver’s Car proves that wrong. First place goes to the Ferrari 488 GTB. This Ferrari makes you your best self behind the wheel. It grabs your attention, it focuses you, and it helps you improve. The 488 GTB lets you know when you screw up and pushes and prods you to do better next time around. The Ferrari 488 GTB’s powertrain is an endless assault on your senses, with wave after wave of devastating power. The engine pulls all the way to 8,000 rpm and then, bam, the seven-speed gearbox upshifts, and the engine digs deep for more. The powertrain is happy lugging around, too. “This car is amazing even loafing along I-5,” Mark said. Derek agreed about its cruising manners: “Very little engine noise makes it into the cabin despite it being inches away from the back of my head.” Chassis, steering, and suspension tuning are equally impressive. “The steering is very lively and requires constant attention—this car needs me,” Chris said. The 488 GTB does it all. “The Ferrari fulfills the complete list of needs, from extreme exotic to dauntless touring car,” Mark said. It’s memorable, too. “This is one of those cars, one of those drives, one of those moments that will forever be seared into my synapses as an epic moment,” Chris said, “a true deus ex machina experience in my life.” Joan Didion once described driving in Los Angeles as requiring “a concentration so intense as to seem a kind of narcosis, a rapture-of-the-freeway. The mind goes clean. The rhythm takes over.” The Ferrari 488 GTB is that rapture. It is that rhythm. It is our 2017 Best Driver’s Car. Read more about 2017 Best Driver’s Car contenders: Ferrari 488 GTB Porsche 911 Turbo S Chevrolet Camaro ZL1 1LE Porsche 718 Cayman S Lexus LC 500 Mercedes-AMG GT R Alfa Romeo Giulia Quadrifoglio Chevrolet Corvette Grand Sport Aston Martin DB11 Nissan GT-R NISMO Mazda MX-5 Miata RF McLaren 570GT The post Choosing the 2017 Motor Trend Best Driver’s Car appeared first on Motor Trend.

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