#i get why - a lot of cis people or people who aren't t4t don't understand how much transness impacts romance

[danmeichael]

supporters of queer m/f romance fiction so frequently miss out on the glory of transhets, and especially t4t transhets, which is a shame.

[nothorses]

No worries about responding to this one, but thank you for acknowledging some of the specific problems bi people have when dating monosexual people in one of your answers.

We're definitely perceived as greedy/ unfaithful/ in a phase/ going to cheat on someone with someone of the "opposite gender" because we're faking it, don't *really* like genders like our own or multiple genders- and people do get aggressive with us about this within the community. Or as you pointed out- we're heavily fetishized.

Whilst there are gazillion lovely monosexual people, the ones who create a hostile environment and have verbally abused me just for being bi really do make me want to stay away. Not just in terms of dating- but coming out as well. As soon as I acknowledge I like masc aligned people- I suddenly get treated differently within the community- and it's not in a nice way. I have to fall into pretending to be straight or gay just to feel safe sometimes.

Whilst I am having the nb gender question ™️ ATM I nonetheless am cis passing and will probably continue to be. I therefore cannot claim to know the dangers of dating cis people that a lot of trans people experience- so I do understand why people might see bi4bi and think it's weird and unnecessary. But while things aren't as bad it's still a thing for a reason. And sadly it's not *just* the fact that we relate to eachothers experiences/ might be more likely to get on.

Thank you for the solidarity. I love your page and I learn so much here- anyway I don't know how to do conclusions but I appreciate you

This is a great explanation! And I only want to add that I don’t think there needs to be a “you must suffer this much to ride” metric for using similar terminology to describe similar things. T4T and bi4bi both just describe similar dating choices for similar reasons. They aren’t necessarily comparing suffering, and that doesn’t need to be what the conversation is about; it’s just a naming convention.

Acknowledging yalls struggles is the bare minimum, and I’m sorry it doesn’t happen often enough that you don’t feel the need to thank me about it. But I’m glad I could cover it in a way that was helpful, and I appreciate it & you! 💙