#i get it i know why i understad it

[flos-obsessivus]

Severin and Ivory Intro!

You are the king’s loyal retainer, you were once a human turned magical being when you were trapped inside the mirror. And yes, you are that mirror, the very same mirror who is known all across the lands as all encompassing and all knowing. Luckily, when Severin, the current king, your majesty, was about 14, he was able to break the curse that befell upon you, and you were fortunate enough to retain all of the powers that you had when you were still trapped inside the mirror.

Now you follow him like a guard dog, or a lost puppy, just someone who helps Severin in his day to day life. You are actually decent in being a servant funnily enough, and Severin seems to have that same sentiment as he refuses to have other servants serve him, even in waking up, dressing up, and even during bath time. You’re the only one who does everything for him, but it didn’t bother you as much as you are basically inhuman now.

Currently, the kingdom is facing the same pain in the ass from like, a hundred years ago. Ivory, your ex-king, ex-friend, and ex-human being. He’s become a vampire after some kind of breakdown after you admitted that you liked Severins grandfather compared to him. You also did say something about liking him when he was younger because he wasn’t as crazy back then, so now he assumes the form of a child, probably to make you like him again. Weird thought process because he's still as possessive and crazy as when he was an adult, even if he shapeshifts into his younger form.

Well, anyways he’s been annoying not only you, but also Severin. He keeps sneaking in the castle to kidnap you but you always manage to avoid him before he does, and if he manages to actually kidnap you, you would just teleport away mainly due to the fact that you still had unfinished work of making Severin that cake that he wanted, which prompts a temper tantrum which causes Ivory to send out a whole monster army in anger. 

In response, there would be an all out war between Ivory and Severin which is NOT ideal when your ideal outcome is where the whole kingdom survives. You had to basically mediate between both parties where you had to essentially beg Severin to let you go with Ivory for the rest of the day so nobody would die. Also, this happens every week to the point that both the human army and the monster army would just stand in attendance and ‘fight’ for like five minutes until Ivory can get in the castle to fight Severin, by then their work is done and they go back to whatever they were doing. Severin and Ivory are also strong enough to not die but still get injured, so you had to patch both of them up while verbally abusing each other. 

You should probably propose a schedule where they can have you within a certain day or something, like how divorced parents agree on a schedule when they take their kids during specific days of the week. That would be ideal.

A/N I don't know why the fic is taking me so long when this took me like less than an hour. To be fair that one was basically Ivory's background story so... Anyways, here you go! They are officially out of jail yippieeee!!!

Also I might redesign Severin's outfit because it's not cunty enough for me.

P.s Edited the last part of the 3rd paragraph, hopefully its more understadable?

[my-castles-crumbling]

Hey Cas, Outlet anon here with another vent. I want your advice, but there isn't really a question, just... what you think about the whole thing.

I think this might be religious trauma, but it doesn't really feel like trauma to me. More a couple bad things that happened to me and affected my life significantly (the literal definition of trauma is "...an emotional response to a terrible event like an accident, crime, or natural disaster. It can also refer to the lasting emotional response resulting from living through a distressing event, which can include psychological symptoms such as depression, anxiety, flashbacks, and recurring nightmares." But it doesn't Feel significant enough to be trauma.).

Anyway. I was raised christian in a christian household with very christian relatives, and, unfortunately, that comes with heaps and heaps of homophobia (I know some christians are differen't, but those people aren't part of this story). I, on the other hand, am very, very queer, and I look the part (stereotypically, anyway. I have a bunch of piercings, a shaved head, weird outfits, etc etc. The whole nine yards.)

In my last ask, I mentioned 'Al' (my sibling's dad). To add some more icing to the cake of amazing thingsTM (/sarcasm) about him, he's one of the Very Homophobic christians.

Growing up, 'weird' (LGBTQIA+) people never bothered me. I'm not sure why, but it might be because I was bullied (for how I dressed and what shoes I wore, stuff like that, but thinking back now, it probably had something to do with my weight & very obvious autism that nobod every told me about, but that's a different story for a different time.), though I've also never really cared about that sort of thing. Like, it didn't change anything if someone wanted to be called something else or if they liked someone of the same identity. It just... never crossed my mind to care. I guess that's one plus of Al hating and ignoring me; his views never rubbed off.

When I got old enough to understad gender and sexuality and whatnot, some things about me slid right into place. It took a year or so (barely any time at all, compared to other people) for me to get stuff right and figure out which labels did and didn't fit, but when I finally got it right, I was happy & content. Go back a year or so to my *first* label: lesbian. My mother found out because I was young and dumb and didn't know about search history, but she just asked me about it and told me that telling Al wasn't a good idea.

I listened for a couple months and kept my head down; however, this was back when I still desperately wanted a dad and was still trying my best to make Al love me, so telling him about my identity felt important. Well, I did. Needless to say, he wasn't happy and he became more passive agressive (this was after he stopped interacting with me really at all, so he didn't hurt me or do anything physically except restrict my already restricted internet). His negative response is what got me to finally stop trying with him and to just say "fuck it, I don't need a dad".

I was still calling myself a christian, but I'd started to question a lot of stuff that nobody wanted me to question. Fast forward a year and I'd taken up witchcraft and my questions still hadn't been answered. I was told "god loves the real you" and then forced to be someone else. Naturally, that didn't sit right.

I kept going to church to keep up pretenses and keep Al content. At one point, they did a sermon about LGBTQIA+ people, and the end message was "we don't have to accept you to respect you". Which. Just. What a fucking fantastic thing to say to a bunch of queer people, one of which had started thinking of youth group as a safe space with safe people where I could be myself. That was like a slap in the face, and suddenly the people I thought were safe weren't anymore.

I started to really resent Al and became more reclusive at home and more flamboyant at school. Now that I'm typing it out, this sounds pretty insignificant, but this shit hit me deep and hard. I was just a kid who wanted to be wanted. Instead, I was hated for something that wasn't my choice.

I have an uncle (Al's brother, but he's earned the 'Uncle' title in my eyes) who came out as gay then moved to Germany to get away from everyone. It took him like 20 years to talk to his parents again.

I'm happier now, with a collection of deities who are kinder to me, a community that's happy to have me around, and a friend who I can share my religion with. Which, honestly, is more than I could ever ask for.

Anyway. That's all I can think of. I hope your day is magical, I give my regards to you and your wife. Thank you for listening <3

You: I think this might be religious trauma, but it doesn't really feel like trauma to me. More a couple bad things that happened to me and affected my life significantly Also you: But it doesn't Feel significant enough to be trauma.

I mean, I'm not a professional, but...that feels like trauma to me? Something that has to do with religion that negatively affected your life in a significant way?

I think a lot of people don't want to label their trauma as trauma because they've heard other people have "had it worse" and like...just because you weren't send to a conversion therapist doesn't mean what you went through wasn't trauma. (did I say that right? there were a lot of negatives in there).

You're allowed to recognize your experiences as horrible and upsetting and life-altering. It doesn't negate other people's experiences, I promise <3 (and I mean this in a kind way, not a rude way)

You're always allowed to vent to me, and I'm so glad you're happier now. But yeah, it sounds like you went through some awful shit, and I'm giving you tons of hugs.

[here-to-read-and-write]

Umg umg umg, i hope you would like this request 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 I have two to shared but you could choose one 🥺 (bruhhhh, i hope my English is good enough to be understood)

1. (NSFW) Reader had some injured in the past about their jaw that they can't open their mouth widely (just about 2.5 to 3cm). When they try to eat a quite big cumcuber, they have to bite slowly each pieces and tell others that "I hate this, can't eat something big". When 141 members see it, they immediately have a thought "So how could they take my cock?" even they don't even mean that. What do you think they (141) would react about their thought? I guess Ghost will be really annoyed by his thought 🤣 (anyway i do have that problem so whenever i want to eat a spoon of something, i have to adjust it to fit my mouth @@ that's so pissed off)

2. (SFW) For some reasons reader have to pretend that they betray 141. Maybe they have to make the enemies believe that they're in the enemies' side (reader is a spy, perhap), or you just can choose to not mention it. But reader can't tell 141 to keep their (141) safety. I wish i could know their reaction about reader's betrayal and what if reader's eyes redden or even cry while they try to keep straight face during the betrayal scene 🥺

It’s 1:02 a.m. here, and I was playing Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3. I don’t know what to say, but I am ugly crying. I won’t spoil it for those who haven’t played yet, but my heart got ripped out of my chest. Writing is my only coping mechanism, so I decided to grab my laptop and write for them, for myself, and for those who played it and felt the same way as I did or didn’t.

Well, I well use this opportunity to make amends since I have abandoned writing and we will start with little cuty user, and her requests.

Characters mentioned : John Price - Johnny "Soap" MacTavish - Kyle "Gaz" Garrick - König - Simon "Ghost" Riley - Alejandro Vargas - Rodolfo "Rudy" Parra.

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I hope you liked it!

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1.

Tired and hungry were the worst combination at this moment, now that you were finally about to start writing tha damn report. Why did you have to personally write a report?

The report has to be on captain Price's desk today before noon, but as your pen meet the paper, your stomach grumbled louder than a shot gun.

Sighing you stood up, abondonning the idea of ever finishing this report in time. You can't leave your poor stomach empty for the sake of something as foolish as a report, plus you knew captain Price won't scold you much, as long as the report gets to his office before he leaves to his well deserved vacation. You can't wait to eat a fresh meal for yourself and maybe, key word: maybe, leave some for others.

Lost in thoughts you haven't even noticed that you had reach the kitchen. Now here comes the second challenge, actually cooking.

Looking at the small counter, you had one thought, what can you eat? Let's make it more understadable, what can you eat which is easy to cook and you won't have problem chewing? Reminder, you can't open your jaw more than 3 cm.

Well, that will depends, you thought as you opened the fridge to be meet with one lonely tomato, one cucumber, a piece of cheese that no one wanted to eat and nothing more.

Oh, we left to the mission before we could shop!

Groaning in disappointment, you pulled out the three of out. With the issues with your jaw, you can choose either the tomato, the cheese, the cucumber (but it has to be cut into small pieces, and that's too much work!) or you can combine them all to create a tomato-cucumber-cheese salad (You had to fill the void in your stomach somehow and tomato, cucumber or cheese alone won't do it). Unfortunately, as you were about to grabbed the tomato, you noticed two things, it was too soft, mushy, and smelly.

You grimaced, examinating the three items, and the only surviver was cucumber, with the cheese having mold all over it. So, cucumber alone it is, sighing you turned to grab a knife, to at least cut it into smaller pieces, but it seems you wasted all your luck just now.

You facepalmed at the unwashed stack of dishes. You haven't noticed them, with your back facing where they were buried in the sink. They must have been left here when Laswell called for an urgent mission, since no one uses this kitchen except the 1-4-1, you and occasionally, the Mexican boy (Alejandro) and his flowery companion (Rudy) when they visit.

Speaking of the devil, you peered over your shoulder to see the squad chatting as they strolled towards the grand table, between the door and the counter. Their shoulders weren't tensed as it was a few hours ago. They were actually making jokes minus Ghost obviously, but even he have the green aura around him.

Seeing as they were safe to approach, you coughed catching their attention immediately, but before anyone could greet you with a teasing nicknames, you pointed out at the sink.

"I cleaned, the week before, your turn," you pointed at Soap, who's shoulder sank as he teared up, but you knew it was all an act to wiggle his way out, but not this time.

Once he noticed that it wasn't working, he give in and walked towards you, picking on your cheeks before wearing the gloves. Pink gloves, that you purposely brought just to have a good laugh at Ghost, a scary man in hello kitty's gloves. It was the finiest memory you cherished among others.

"Colonel Vargas, Sergeant Major Para," you nodded at the two before greeting the others.

"I asked you too many times to just call me Alejandro, we aren't strangers after all," he grinned as you just nodded, giving up on arguming.

Taking the empty seat between Ghost and Price, you listened to their madone talks as you tried to take on the big boy, cucumber.

Why were cucumbers so big? You though dreadly as you tried to fit it in your mouth, but of course the thing was too big.

"I hate how I can't fit anything big in my mouth," you mumbled but of course, it has to be silence the moment you decided to complain.

You pushed your lips forcefully apart, just enough to not hurt yourself but enough to fit the head of the cucumber in your mouth because there is no way you were going to wait until Soap cleans the dishes, plus you had to go over them. You can trust them with your soul but never in cleaning.

Everyone snapped their head towards you, eyes widen. Their watched how your eyes narrawed as you biten small pieces of the cucumber. They all had one thought in minds, how will their cocks fit in your mouths when you can't fit a cucumber, a mini size.

Price was the first to lean back, and tried to come with a way to train your jaw. He was a patient man, he can start small, few licks here and there. You can started by fitting the head, then slowly you will be able to fit it all in, just right. He licked his lower lip just at the thought of how you, his fierce soldier, will look cute down on your knees just for him.

Gaz and Soap on the other hands had the same though, how will it fit in your mouth, but more of concerned about your safety and comfort, not like Price will force anything upon you but the old man knew better than anyone that you won't resisting once he has his hands on you. They don't mind much, even though they fantasised many time about you gagging around it as you tried to do your best to please them.

For the Mexican boys, same question, and as much they didn't want to have such lewd thoughts of someone they respected. Like the others they didn't mean it. It was out of their controle. The thought was so pleasant, that they have to see it in real life—I mean, They had to test the theory in real life, maybe you can defy your believe, they can help prove yourself wrong and that you take more than just one cock—Uhh, what they mean, darling, is that you shouldn't push yourself too much, you are a valuable memember of 1-4-1 and no one wants you hurt.

König, he was panicked in Germany, Wie werden sie meine glied nehmen können? (How will they be able to take my cock? I don't know the word for cock in germany so don't come at me, please, I just started learning the language!). When I say he was panicking, I mean sweating as he thought of all possibilities that may accure if one day, he couldn't control himself and accidently, slide it on your mouth. He was scared of breaking your poor jaw, he didn't want you to hate him, not when he loved admired you so much.

Ghost was the contrary of them all, he was annoyed, grumbling under his breath like grounded child. How dare you you? How dare not be able to take it? All along the mission, he was holding on, barely, but still holding on his hands to his side and cock in its place just to be able to get you under him once you were all back. He had planned it all. Today, after this little warm hearting meeting with everyone he will slide away and get into your office, knowing you were busy writing your report, and seduce you or whatever, just to get you on your knees, but now you had to tell him you can't take him???? Who are you to decide that?

In conclusion, everyone was in their clouds, imagining and thinking whatever they wanted to do to you while you sobbed in your corner over the still existing void in your stomach.

I am still hungry, you sighed, as you finished your cucumber.

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[tinyfantasminha]

I just cannot see the upcoming Pinocchio event going any other way:

Honest John: Hey, kiddo, would you like to go to this fun place called...

Ortho: 🔫🔫🔫 😊 Stranger Danger Alert. Informing S.T.Y.X.

Honest John: That's understadable, have a nice day.

NO YOU SEE, THIS IS EXACTLY WHY I THINK KALIM IS GOING TO BE ONE OF THE SSRs AND HES GOING TO PLAY A BIG PART IN THE EVENT

TWST HONEST JOHN WILL DEF TRY TO DECEIVE THEM IN SOME WAY BUT,,, knowing our boys, they are too smart and untrusting to just blatanly go along with him and not feel like something is wrong

BUT OUT OF THE CHARACTERS THAT WILL APPEAR IN THIS EVENT (ace, cater, trey, leona, jack, jade, floyd, kalim, vil, ortho, lilia) THE ONLY ONE THAT'S INNOCENT ENOUGH TO GO ALONG WITH A CHARMING FOXBOY'S SCHEMES IS KALIM 😭😭

MFS GONNA COME IN AND BE LIKE ''GREETINGS I'M JOHN NOGOOD AND THIS IS MY BUDDY LIAR PANTSONFIRE, AND WE ARE FROM FAKEWORD ACADEMY, COME ALONG WITH US DEAR BOY WE ARE GONNA SHOW YOU SOMETHING REALLY FUN 😇'' and Kalim will be like ''WOW OK!! YOU TWO ARE SO NICE!!'' meanwhile his phone is buzzing bc jamil is frantically texting him ''KALIM DONT GO WITH ANY STRANGERS'' and Kalim is like ''no worries, i'm with my two new friends!!'' proceeds to get deceived and kidnapped

In the end, Ortho is gonna be the badass that saves the day. And Ace is gonna turn into a Donkey (delusional but god I hope so)

(john nogood and liar pantsonfire from fakeword academy is a joke i stole from my friend @we-raid-nrc-at-dawn mwah thank you for the funsies )

[sassykio4fun]

Name? Pt 2

tom kaulitz x reader

"Oh shit!", You yelped, watching the dude stumble over a couple, who thankfully were too into each other to pay much mind to the interruption.

Regaining his balance, he turned to see who was the culprit-you.

"What the he-" He then stopped himself mid-complaint, taking in your baggy attire, then moving to your face, which seemed to hold bothered expression.

"You good?"You questioned, crossing your arms, eyeing him up and down.

The unnamed boy seemed to break out of his daze."Yeah, Yeah, I'm alright." He answered. "Are you?" He then asked.

You raised an eyebrow. "I'm good." You answered "Uh sorry about damn near bulldozing you." You uttered. He shook his head, "No, it's all good, happens all the time in here." He mumbled, his hand moving under his dreads, rubbing the back of his neck.

The tip of his tongue coming to play with his piercing, angular eyes scanning you once agin.

You gave a small nod, throwing him a side smile, seeing his eyes wander. "Right well, I should be getting to my friends, sorry about that again." You say, eyes locked on your friends.

Turning towards you destination, you took a step when you felt a firm hand lock around your wrist.

"Wait!" You whipped you head around to see the same boy, then down to your locked wrist.

The boy snatched his hand from you wrist, letting how a nervous chuckle. "Sorry! I just-" He sighed, seemingly looking for words to say, "I'm Tom." He suddenly blurted out.

You pulled your sleeve down, looking into his dark eyes , "Oh?" You questioned, furrowing your eyeebrows, understading his intentions now. "You know, if someone had shoved me, the last thing I would be doing is introducing myself to them." You exclaimed, unimpressed.

A smile came over his face, while hiding a smile under his hat. "Yeah, I guess, buutt, you are a pretty someone." He remarked, tilting his head to the side, a smirk overcoming his face.

"What a charming and unique thing to say, you sure know how to win a girl over." You responded sarcastically, though hiding a smile of you own under your hat at the cheesy comment.

He threw his head back, letting out a laugh."Hey, what can I say. I'm a ladies man." He voiced cockily. You shook your head, letting out a chuckle, "Mhm, I can tell."You remarked, grinnging. You glance back up, seeing he had a matching grin.

After a moment he spoke up, "So, you have my name, how about I get yours." You hummed, "Well, I would, but I don't think we'll be seeing much of each oth-"

Your name was then called by a familiar voice, and then you were being tugged away by Zoey.

Turning back to the boy just in time to see him mouthing your name with a smug smirk, eyes following out of the club exit.

Sorry if this isn't the best, this is my bery first fanfiction, and this just came from the top of my head, and decided, 'why not'.

Hello! Hope you enjoyed it.🎀

[berrychanx]

Im not enjoying ichigos character at all, she used to be more independent and fight more now she's just there. The other mews do so much more I get the bk doesn't want her to fight but she should not let her friends do all the fighting I'm not enjoying her character. Lettuce, zakuro and pudding are really doing more than her and I'm crying because ichigo and her character is just not really there compared to the others. She's only important if she with masaya or making masaya dreams hers. I just wanted her to be a own person

Ok anon, I understad your disappointment, but I'm glad New is giving the spotlight to the other girls, the original and manga were too ichigo focused, sometimes she wouldn't need the girls help because of how overpowered she was.

Here she may still be the leader but she struggles to find her own place, which is what the developers want to focus on, every girl and (younger) viewer having struggles, an important goal/achievement, role in life etc

And since episode 1 that ichigo is trying to find it.

She made up her mind that she wants to care of 🌎 but still doesn't know how, being a mew mew helps to a degree but not fully and it's normal, it's a very important thing and not something easy to achieve unlike the other girls who seem to have more down to earth and relatable dreams / achievements.

To me she seems like her own person, "studying" Aoyama interests awakened something in her, that's to protect our species and the planet <- this was always TMM message. That's why every Manga volume would have a trivia note related to some RDA.

As for the rest, i feel like they're gonna develop ichigo last because she's important to the story finale.

At the end of the day as a character will find something to value and maybe so will the new generation of viewers / readers

[hel-phoenyx]

"Me? Jealous?"

Seriously? One more word and that longing my hand feels for my face is gonna be satiated. And why do I want so bad for my hand to meet my own face, ask you ?

Because in front of me there is my boyfriend, best friend, and life partner all in one, displaying every textbook signs of jealousy since fucking yesterday, and still having the absolute nerve to look scandalised.

"Yes, Emerens, you, jealous. And don't give me that look, because I won't believe you, and you can't gaslight gatekeep girlboss out of this one. Have you seen how moody you are since yesterday?"

He tenses at yesterday's mention. To be fair, yesterday, he had a meeting with Senri after a therapy session, and said Senri just so happened to have an outing with former classmates, including Raraka and Fyodor. I think that was Elvira's idea. An idea she didn't tell Emerens.

I thought he was moody because he didn't know, and that is understadable, considering how much he feels reassured when he knows everything about the school. But the more I talked with him today and the more I feel the problem is deeper.

"Yes, Thibs, I have seen how moody I am since yesterday. This is exaclty why I came to you to talk. But jealous? I haven't even felt a speck of jealousy towards you, and by god have you seen how many partners and friends you have here? Why in the nine Hells would I be jealous because Senri didn't warn me he was going out?"

If only I was sure he'd been lying, that would be so easy. Hit behind the head, stern lecture, and here we go bye-bye denial. But when I looked at his face, his genuinely confused face, that's when it hit me.

Therapy. Emerens. Jealousy. Of course.

I'm starting to understand.

I pulled a chair towards me, before sitting.

"Alright, let's start from the beginning. No jealousy towards me and my own relationships you say?"

"Well. Yeah. Why would I? I have trust in you as much as in the others, friends, partners, him included. Are you insinuating I don't? Or something changed in my feelings I am not aware of?"

I shook my head. Maybe, maybe not, but that is not where I was getting at.

"Emerens, I don't think trust nor feelings are the problem. Plus, Louna, Sharon and I tell you all about our dates or outings before we have them, so it's hard to compare from here. But I think it's something else."

"Well, what? what could cause me being jealous now?"

I sighed. Here we go.

"Emerens, my love, I'm gonna use therapist talk here, but lil question. Do you think you were not jealous of people close from us because you were confident in our relationship, or because you were so deep in your self-hatred and desire for anything that could let you feel joy than anything coming from us already was more than enough?"

And there it is.

His face went blank. Almost dead. The only thing that proves me he's alive is that vein on his forehead.

Pale as a ghost, he couldn't even utter the next words, but those words felt so heavy on both our heads.

".... Shit."

My hand in his, contracted. He took it almost immediatly, squeezed it like crazy, but now I couldn't even feel blood in my fingers.

"See? I don't know what you are talking about with your therapist, but you always were a possessive person and a total lack of jealousy from your part was surprising. I'm sorry to tell you that now, Emerens, but the way you feel compersion seems to be unhealthy at best. Maybe talk about it in therapy? Or just with Senri?"

"Better therapy first. Do you know how many things you just put into question with that...?"

I shook my head sadly.

"Not completely, I guess. But you know, since you are fucked up as hell, that doesn't surprise me the slightest."

[theuniverseawakens347]

A WOMANS BODY IS A HOLY TEMPLE A HOLY GRACE BC SHE MAKE LIFE… YA GOT SPERM STUPID YOU PARTAKE INT HAT MAKING.. SHE NO MORE SPECIAL BC SHE BIRTH IT YA GREW IT TOGETHER IN DIFFERENT LOOKS… HOUSE WIFE STAYS HOME AND TAKES CARE OF THE HOUSE N WHATEVER INT HAT DOMAIN.. YA GO TO WORK N GET MONEY .., VIVCE VERSA DEPENDING ON JOB N LIFE STYLE … RELATE TO WOMB N SPERM … YOU FIND PARTNER PERFECT FOR YOU IN FULL ( NOT everyone’s met to have what I have HOW I HAVE IT MINE IT TEACHING RELM TO KEEP THE SINNER OUT OF TROUBLE.. A FE MALE IS ROOT OF MALE THEIRS MANY PARTS IF YOU CANNOT UNDER THE ROOT YOU CANNOT UNDERSTAD THE TOP NODES.., I am ONE FEMALE BODY TO X MEN and “my parents n grandma” OLDER VERSIONS OF ME in different domains of environment terrains” … I HOUSE CHILD FOR 9 months at some point I have to rest for equilibrium in body hormones chemistry for baby safety … MAN EXTERNAL PART OF ME FIT TO DO WHAT THEY CAN… ELDERS TAP ON WHERE THEY CAN HELP AND ADD NOT TAKE OVER “ ur doing it wrong” … but if ur house broken or whole!? DID YOU FORSAKE PARTS OF URSELF FOR SOMETHING OR SOMEONE.. DID YOU FORGET HOW TO HEAL BC YOU DONT UNDERSTAND IT SO YOU 1/2 WALKED AWAY HOWARD.. I HAVE MANY REFLECTIONS OF THE ISSUESS YOU MAY GO THRU.. DOESNT MEAN YOU HAVE MANY PARTNERS TO KEP HOSTAGE N CHEAT WHEN “ temple” NOT CLEAN TO UR LIKING …ALSO YA ON ENHANCERS MEN BUT WANT A NATURAL WOMAN.. UR TEMPLE NOT HOLY IF YOU STICKING MY STEM CELLS INTO UR BODY TO CLAIM AN AESTETIC U CUD HAVE GOTTEN NATURALLY .. EMOTIONALLY OR PHYSICALLY BUT PHSYCHOLOGICALLY MISSING… WHY WE HAVE THOSE DEGRESS JUST O LEAVE PIECES UN TOUCHED IN SOCIETY AND MAKE BIG MESS TWO TIRED TO CLEAN UP!?? But ya wan me to help.., but got me homeless til!? MAAUILA DIE N GIVE ME HER PAGE!? NO I GROW ORGANICALLY .. FITKINGG COURTNEY I APOLOGIZE FATHER ROCK RAMOS AS TAMBIEN PARA ME STEM CELLS… IT IS DEC ME N YOU BUT LIKE YA KNOW LITTER ANGER BIG KNOWLDEGE.. YOU ARE ME I AM YOU .. BUT NIGGA WE DED N I GOT TEMPER BC .. FACE TWO FACE ASS WHORES.

[quailbagutte]

I don't have a a title for this but here goes. I will update my blog description after i post this . I am born in the year 2007, which if you do the math I'm 17, which means i am a minor. I've seen posts on here about minors interacting with 18+ blogs and that makes me uncomfortable as it would most people. I have interacted with these types of blogs before and I'm not proud of that at all.(only the fic such as comenting not anything nasty or inappropriate i hope, I've never messeage anyone directly) when i did read this fics i hadnt considerd how it would make other feel if me a 17yr old was reading their fics.(PLEASE KEEP IN MIND THAT I AM AUTISTIC in case if yall wer wondering why i never mentioned this before my brain ist wired the same, i know that this is NO excuse but it might be helpful)I have learned that its makes people uncomfortable and i completely get that i understad the consequences of these types of situation and what it can lead to. I deeply apologise if ive evr made anyone uncomfortable I only want to connect with other peple in the same fandoms as me.

I can not change the past but i can shape the future so heres what i am doing/have done to better myself and others:

unfollowed any blog with MDNI in their bio

remove any post where ive rebogged an mdni fic

taking a hiatus from tublur until I turn 18(which is feb next year)

I hope this can make people think about how important it is to put their age in their bio. plese dont hate me I've admitted my mistake and am trying to fix it❤️

[madotsukimind]

I tend to be very personal on here as opposed to any other place im online but gosh even though life will always be imperfect and bumpy its amazing to me im here I recently turned 30 and its amazing since as a kid I didnt think id make to to 18 then 20 then 25 and now 30 ! things are hard they always can be but its amazing and I wish me from like age 12? ++ could see that somehow I was okay

I have someone who I love and who treats me with kindness

I have a few friends who are truly dear to me

I still have family issues but I get though it

I still have social issues but Ive overcome a lot and at least can know why i am like this

I still have depression / anixety issues but they are managed with meds and just understading them

I know who i am with gender and sexuality and that would both scare & make me as a young child as a teen really happy

I have people friends who im open to and a partner who truly loves and accepts me for all of my queerness that I can and will be loved for it

idk man life is very very hard but having been so depressed and suicidle for so much of my life it amazing

30s used to sound like thats when you die when your a kid now im like no wait this is great

when I was at work i would tell kids that yeah no being a teen highschool it suuuuuuucks no doubt get though it and it can get so much better cause tbh its true highschool teens 20s even arent the peak of life tbh its some of the worst years for most of us i think

anyway im 30 life is hard i had a good day today and even then i feared for a bit that why is it nice ??? and i just had to acceot that yeah sometimes its nice and sometimes its AWFUL and I just have to deal with that i dont want to but damn I get to see my dogs and cuddle them drink and chill with friends love the person I love and be loved by them idk man its near 5 am I still have so many problems Im still paranoid about things and here I am still so yeah idk 30 !

[odetoagirl]

second draft self

i wonder if shes ever thought like this at all, never having written a diary or a letter to herself or a poem, no internal monologue, a lack of retention and attention payed, no desire to learn, the lack of a critical thinking when it comes to literally any form of art, the persistent assumption that uneducated you is right, and not that you simply lack the knowledge. it seems all to point to such an astronomical lack of self reflection. it is so a to b, so animalistic, so raw and yet so indoctrinated; no second draft self in sight.

scorpio sun, scorpio rising, scorpio mercury. all i am is self transformation, over and over again i fall in on myself, i recycle and reemerge endlessly, laminated between layers of life and death, from life until death. how does the carcass of a simple woman birth the eternal chrysalis of me. this is not a mythical degree of vanity so much as a truth she has admitted, she conceded to being a thoughtless unreflective hamster, a cog in the machine, an acting and reacting being with little space?desire?need?interest?capability? for internal reflection. i am so far down a line of drafts these days that i would be unrecognisable to myself a few years ago if it werent for the distinctive material, rearranged to such distortion. there is very little i could not tell you about the people round me, their nature and their thoughts, i could predict so accurately their response to stimulus in any given surrounding. it is the gift god returns you for paying attention, but it does require a degree of understanding of human nature and the conscious, something you can only develop from the only first hand, direct route you have to the mind; yourself. to ask why is to understand yourself, the mind, and then others. from which most anything becomes easy. art, history, technology, instructions and interface; anything with human input and design unravels before you and with practice, the reverse engineering becomes as almost indistinguishably as immediate as one's own intuition. if only people really fucking listened, really watched ad engaged their fucking brains they would reach such a plane of existence that is fundamental to the revered geniuses of history, da vinci and pythagorus or van gogh or shakespeare or frida kahlo. you must never stop pushing for kowledge and learning and understanding, i dont know why people do. when most people find learning hard or undenjoyable it is because of this lack of understading, the why to bridge the gap that makes it all fall into place. to memorise when and where and what is so difficult, so disjointed and arbitrary it is difficult and drill-like, i would also find it virtually impossible - it is the weakness of traditional school systems to teach memorisation and not cultivate understanding. perhaps it is because it would produce too many free thinkers or pioneers or individuals who refuse to engage in such thoughtless cog-like nine to fives which would create waves to disrupt those in power - a few innovators generates millions, a million innovators breeds freedom. the first point of failure begins with open listening, people are hearing the words but so few people are open to listening to what there is desire to say without assuming, or glazing over it or inflicting your preconceptions, it is HARD to deconstruct and listen properly, it is tiring to engage consistently and i find it hard to detach my own thoughts ad contexts but it is something you must do, the reward is great and the only thing that gives life any meaning is ones self and others, if you want to be heard and known you must cultivate such a space for others. it is a sincere skill, it cannot be mimicked or taught, it must be sprung from a self realisation and a true desire to understand. the reward for such efforts, openness, honestly, vulnerability, are countlessly fruitful.

but yeah whatever. my mother wouldn't fucking get it. she could read all of this, everything i've ever written and still not understand. the lens she wears is so thick that she cannot see past her own assumption, her own distortion through which to see the world cultivated in response to her experience, it has grown greater and greater with time, slowly enough that she does not notice the the way she once saw was so different. i assume. i do not know if she has ever been any different. i have, on a few occasions, become so utterly and desperately vulnerable in front of her in various vulgar displays of discontent. i have, in spite of my own overwhelmedness, i always made room for a preface, a desperate string of sobbed pleas, please listen to me really, properly, and don't get angry because i'm not trying to be mean or upset you i'm just trying to explain. she agrees, and i begin, and immediately i am interrupted by anger from deaf ears, a volatile reaction from a mother who's child is begging to be seen. it never works. the older i get the more i lose hope, and the greater the weight of the grief becomes; i cry for the death of my mother, a woman who's never existed.

i feel that if she ever asked i would pour my heart out, and if she ever listened i would unlock a whole new world for her and things would never be the same. she would become threefold as wise and a little more happy. if she knew how clever i was... i don't know. she thinks i am logical and good at maths, that i am an academic with a wizards memory. i am okay in such departments, but it is not where i excel, not where i live as truly, impressively brilliant. i am a genius in a language she doesn't know exists, and doesn't care to understand. i love smart people, i love to surround myself with people far superior to me in so many different fields; business minds and maths geniuses, linguists, artists, all rounders and hard workers, for me to be the least intelligent and informed person in a room is a delight, to be taught but sincere individuals who possess a joy for sharing. its like being inside the internet or a book, i feel the magic of knowledge in the air, experts sweat intelligence. and these people, who outshine me by leaps and bounds, whom i respect most, always seem to uniquely enjoy my company.

for a long time, young and unfamiliar with the real world outside my immediate life, it was a pattern i did not pick up on, understanding outside of experience is difficult within a limited observational window restricted by both age and lifestyle, and my own naivety and unwillingness to truly hear feedback i was regularly given. but the closer i get to the real world, the more i understand that smart people like me because i reflect such a childlike intrigue and vulnerability delivered through a critical, perceptive eye and exacting tongue.

still this does surprise me, for my scathing bitterness is something i would hate if i met myself, i would consider her cruel to her closest supporters, careless with their feelings, unforgivabely biting. this is not entirely the case, i say it with no malice and they dont take it that way either, they understand it to be how i love, and if they resent it they tolerate it for the confidence they find within me. but alas it little matters for i know how it would consumee if i was the subject of such remarks. no degree of empathy or mutual understanding for my clone would permit me to overcome the jokes at the expense of those who surround her. indeed it is something i do abhor in myself, like a parasite who lives in my mouth and strikes sarcasm into everything i speak. but to other it would be to detatch myself from responsibility, such mocking is my fault and my doing, the marrow of my bones. should you not see me for years, upon return perhaps the only point of recognition would be the cruel skin my words wear, no matter how they are intentioned, it seems the lens survives every redraft inevitabely. i wonder if perhaps that renders me the parasite, simply boarding a thesean ship that i build and rebuild around my rotten core.

[ravenspeakmuses]

To be honest, part of her wasn't sure why it was so important to keep this good girl persona, she could just--be herself, was that gonna really mess up her plans? there were things about Raven's Peak she wanted to understad, things that possibly could lead to her getting more power, Faith had decided to do the whole catch more flies with honey approach, but now she was wondering, was this really the way to go? "So no hope in seeing up there anytime soon, huh?" Faith aks, joking as she gestures to the stage with her head.

"Just--Do I still have my job once the club is back up or...?" she asks, the fake look of concern in her face, "Huh, trying to figure out what in the hell has gotten into me? I--I don't know what happened, it's like I--all the sudden craved the chaos--" she pauses for a few seconds, "How about you? are you okay?"

While the incident with Faith hadn't ranked particularly high on the list of Noah's grievances from the night Midnight Mirage burned down, she was still an interesting subject to ponder. She'd clearly been possessed early on in the chaos, well before most of the demons had gotten their land legs yet. He could've missed it, the swirl of smoke and confusion enough to cause anyone not to pull out all the details. But he couldn't help feeling as if it had all been some sort of act. The way she'd spoken to the others as she pretended to shuffle them out to safety. The way she acted as if she were being taken over when it was clear it had been long before. There just seemed to be more to the story there.

His eyes shifted towards the makeshift stage when she commented on people making fools of themselves being a form of entertainment and he shook his head a bit, a hint of a smile pulling at the corner of his lips. "I suppose that's one way to look at it."

As she went on to inquire about a chat he simply nodded in agreement, taking a sip of his drink before answering. "Sure, Faith. What's on your mind? How have you been since the weekend...?"

[ramonaflowersflowers]

Love was such a curious thing for me before when I was really young. I thought it was just a part of the deal with family, when getting married, a promise, a type of commitment (it actually is, anyway) and whatsoever. I have never fathomed that it was a feeling or I may have felt it but I was too young to know that it's 'love'. I never really bothered understading why my mom does laundry for us when she gets home tired after work even in her work uniform. That sacrifices, my parents made was just out of their obligation for us. Stupid.young.me.

Love was such a curious thing for me before when I was really young. I thought it was just a part of the deal with family, when getting married, a promise, a type of commitment (it actually is, anyway) and whatsoever. I have never fathomed that it was a feeling or I may have felt it but I was too young to know that it's 'love'. I never really bothered understading why my mom does laundry for us when she gets home tired after work even in her work uniform. That sacrifices, my parents made was just out of their obligation for us. Stupid.young.me.

But growing up, luckily, I slowly comprehend what love truly is. There was one night when I was still young enough to sleep on my parents room (haha), my father noticed that I was rubbing my feet together to coax myself to sleep. He said that I have the same manerism as my mother. I realized later on that to notice such trivial thing on someone, you must really care to pay attention or you have orbitted closely around that person to know that miniscule detail from someone else's life. And for me, the effort or even the innate feeling of being familiar with someone, is one that could somehow describe 'love'. Knowing the simplest of things, knowing what they need for a particular instance, and so on. Because from there, you would know what you could offer to that person without exchange. (Boom! another definition or type of love/ the unconditional love haha) And that's how I have come to realized, my father really loves my mom even though it may not seem like it.. (He kinda looks cold before haha) 😅

For the bonus question, my first love deserve the spot for that encompassing love haha I was in HS and I was head over heels (secretly) in love with my bff (haha generic). She was the first one who have truly cared about me outside my family, the one who gifted my first TS album haha, and the first one to notice my potential, encouraged me to pursue my current career and inspired me to be passionate on whatever path I choose. She believed in my lazy ass before haha and I owe her for that. I think I would not be here without her. I met other people after her but I think no one can hold a candle to her, until to this day. I don't feel the same way for her though she will always have that special place in my heart. (So damn cheesy haha)

Ps. She's married now, living and working in a western country. And I am genuinely proud and happy for her. 😅 (disclaimer agad haha)

Kinda enjoying this discord channel. I love pouring my thoughts out.

_0313

[vampire-chokehold]

/the vampire lestat spoilers ahead\

i really feel bad for lestat. i don't see him as the monster louis described him to be, rather a very troubled and complicated being that was deeply flawed but tried endlessly to remain in the light, ironically enough. the part when he talks about louis and what he said in interview with the vampire, how he understads why he saw him as a vile creature, that he too would have killed him if he were in claudia's shoes because he knows that what he did to her -what he did to her for louis, and also to fill his own void- was unforgivable. the paragraph above tore me to pieces, honestly. he longed for a family, for someone to see him, to love him just as he is, and he thought he had that with louis. the way he didn't resent louis after he made him the villain of the story, it makes me feel mad for him. it's unfair.

and when he's broken and lost after claudia and louis try to kill him, he says:

he truly has a capacity for enduring. i can't get that phrase out of my mind, it has been carved in it.

[gabrielapazlima]

Alright lets goo,i have very complex opinions about each ship:

Daynap:

it depends on how the fandom portrays it to be honest, I HATE tall sadomasochist chad catnap x twink small fragille n uwu baby dogday with ALL my strength- but i really like how my moots poytrait!Good ass ship when is done right.

Bubba x Bobby:

cute!i think that have some potencial! '' brain x heart'' ''blue n red'' and etc...i rather platonically but i can SEE why ppl like romantically!it got all there!

Cuddlejump:

man who are them?i don't know,its not like i make this ship my entire personality or something-

ok jokes aside,everyobe who follows me know that they are my otp- why?i have so many reasons but i just think that they compriment each other very well!Hoppy is energetic n positive,she is the ''pusher'' of the group,but she is very impatient n don't have that much of regulation in her lifestyle,she tends to overdoing things,Bobby is the mom friends,she is understading,she is passionate and she is lovely n affetionate but she is too emotional and have some dependency issues,i can see they getting used with each other flaws but also helping each other with their issues- theya re very alike but also very different,they both are passionate and want to help everyone with everything when they are feeling down but they tend to overdo/overthinking too much- i kinda kin them for that,anyway i love them i think that i already make this clear lol...NEXT

Powernap:

ehhh i don't like it,i don't like hoppy x men as whole but i especially don't like this one,they would be an GREAT sinbling duo tho- i want to see more of it,but romantically?i just don't see it,i think that they would be an hard time with each other lol

Hoppykick:

another ship that i just don't see it,i LOVE their dynamic as an duo,they are very fun to write but besides that sorry i don't feel like shipping two characters with the almost same character traits,its not interessing to me,their dynamic feels lacking,my fav ships have some things in common while also being differents in an lot of ways i don't see it here.

Starstudent:

I LOVE THEM,they are my second favorite ship besides hoppyhug,their dynamic is just SO FUN,it makes me so happy,they have an realy funny potencial with '' smartass x dumbass'' but also is realy sweet,i love how we all agree that they have some beef while also caring with each other deeply,anyway starstudent they never gonna make me hate you-

Naphug

ehhh its cute i gress?i like the artworks n the ship names but them itself is just cute?i don't have any other strong feelings towards them,i LOVE them platonically but im kinda neutral with them romantically

midnight snack:

at first i was never that much into but looking deeper i actually find myself enjoing?it has an fun dynamic that can lead to so angst,they are pretty freak x freak,i enjoy it lol- also beautiful color pallete!

school lunch:

great in concept '' city boy x farme girl'' but i barely see execution,it can be cute but theres something missing for some reason,anyway kina indiferent as whole.

annn thats it,thanks for reading!

Doesn't it happen to them that they want to give their opinion about a ship but they don't do it because no one asked them?

and since I want to waste my time..

here I ask you

WHAT IS YOUR OPINION (NEGATIVE OR GOOD)

OF THESE SHIPS:

1) DOGDAY X CATNAP

2) BUBBA X BOBBY

3) BOBBY X HOPPY

4) CATNAP X HOPPY

5) HOPPY X KICKENCHIKEN

6) BUBBA X KICKENCHIKEN

7) BOBBY X CATNAP

8) PICKYPIGGY X CATNAP

9) PICKYPIGGY X BUBBA

It doesn't matter if it's negative or positive.

shout how much you love a ship or how much you hate a ship!!

[awmonomiac]

Hello Dear, i hope you R doing great. i just found your blog and im sooo happy that i found you and your analysis about *painter of the night*. And i hope it's ok me sending you this ask. I'm trying, reaaally trying to understad the story and your blog helps me BIG time, but something i still didn't and can't get is : WHY the rape??? Just because SH is gay and his father found it unacceptable? I appreciate your answer! 💖🙏

Thank you so much for your interest in my blog! I love the story of Potn and I'm delighted that you asked me this question, which I find really interesting. I'll try to answer it, it's only my opinion of course! You can also ask the question to @bebebisous33 and @dreamingsnowflake2013 make very interesting and detailed articles. I would be delighted to have their opinion on the matter.

First of all, someone who has experienced abuse is more likely to repeat it. And we know that Seungho suffered a lot of abuse in his childhood. This does not mean that ALL abused people will become abusers.

Then to answer your question I'll use chapter 25 as an example. Nk rejects Seungho's advances and prefers Inhun to him despite Inhun's obvious mediocrity.

And so Seungho feels rejected and finds the situation particularly unfair. This stirs up a lot of wounds in him: in his whole life he has never been chosen, no one has ever been by his side.

Everyone abandoned him. We know in the following chapters that his father preferred his brother, that his brother tried to use him in order to get a high position, Kim denounced him to his father and abandoned him, Jihwa who claims to love him but refuses to assume his love in broad daylight (he continues to hide his homosexuality from everyone and calls Seungho himself a bastard...)

So it is a very deep wound in Seungho. He is convinced that he is not lovable and that nobody will ever be his.

As he feels rejected, he has a need to reaffirm Nakyum's belonging to him, it is HIS possession. The idea that NK escapes him and does not belong to him is unbearable. He feels a need for domination and control and cannot stand NK's insubordination.

He takes advantage of the fact that he is a noble and has power to reassert his dominance.

Also, Seungho is marginalised as a "vaunted rake and pervert" man when it is his family and society that are responsible for his current mental state. He was "sold" by the nobles and underwent conversion therapy. All of this has created s*xual traumas for him and this can create hypers*xuality in the traumatized person.

I think seungho can't stand this hypocrisy and that's why he hates social rules and dogmas.

He also can't stand the hypocrisy of NK who calls him a perverted demon while also being possessed by desire and fantasizing about Seungho.

If he is to be hated, Seungho wants to be hated thoroughly. It's a self-fulfilling belief: he thinks no one can love him and refuses to believe anyone who might say otherwise (for example in chapter 63) (Now that NK has said he wants to stay with him, seungho's beliefs are slowly fading away). So he destroys all relationships around him and makes people hate him so that they don't have time to give up on him. He is self-destructive.

Also the difference in social status between Nakyum lowborn and Seungho noble makes it difficult to build a balanced relationship. In Korean society at that time, lowborns are nothing and are by essence inferior to nobles. Nk has integrated that he is worthless, he has assimilated his lowborn status to his personal value. Moreover Seungho as a noble takes everything for granted.

So it is very difficult for Nk to have his dignity respected and therefore to have a noble/lowborn relationship where there are no power games.

Of course none of this excuses Seungho's behaviour. It just explains it. Their relationship is very far from perfect. But little by little Seungho comes to his senses and because he loves NK he wants to change.