#i genuinely thought they were insinuating u know what

[confoodles]

[backwardsbread]

Hello !!

Don’t mine me dropping in a request but I HAVE BECOME OBSESSED with your writing (it’s such a good way off letting off steam and the way you write the characters make it so bealive you can’t convince me u don’t work for vivziepop) ANYWAYS.

I was wondering if you could write headcannons for husk x oblivious!reader? Like basically EVERYONE in the hotel know that husk has a crush on the reader (even thought he keeps denying it) but reader is just oblivious to this. And like angel and alastor always tease him about this right in readers face and she just doesn’t get it which makes husk more flustered ? I HAVE FALLEN INTO THE RABBIT HOLE OF HUSKS DEEP VOICE 💔

(Reader could be gn or AFAB, really anything you are comfortable writing with :3!!)

Hope this reaches you in a good time :33 !!!!

You guys- everytime I open my inbox and see such sweet messages and AMAZING requests— MY HEART CANT HANDLE IT.

That being said, this prompt is GOLD. I hope I did it justice!

Hazbin Hotel:

Husk x Oblivious!Reader

Warnings‼️: none really? Light swearing, Lots of fluff, Fem!Reader, use of Y/N.

~Not proofread~

To me, Husk is almost insecure about his feelings.

He likes to keep things real and genuine, done get me wrong, but he’s constantly listening to other people’s drama and thoughts.

He’s a good source of comfort for the hotel guests, including you. Someone who will listen to you without judgement.

I think how he starts falling for you has to do with this. You’d stay up late nights with Husk while he closes the bar, often times turning the tables on him.

Asking him how he’s doing, what he did throughout the day, even something as simple as asking fun facts about him

Your guys’ game of 20 questions became a norm every night. Slowly you creeped over the walls Husk had put around himself. Something Husk didn’t realize you had done until it was far too late.

The warm feeling he gets in his chest after your guys’ interactions wells up into butterflies in his gut. It doesn’t take long for him to get feelings for you when you were always nothing short of perfect in his eyes.

Since he’s one to usually keep his feelings to himself, he tries to hide this from you and the other attendees of the hotel.

But once he actually realizes he has a crush on you, oh buddy, is he OBVIOUS.

His calm and cool demeanor shifting into anxiety whenever anyone brings the topic of you up or even dares to ask if you two are an item.

It doesn’t help that Alastor can read him like a book after many years of owning Husk’s soul.

Even so, Husk can’t help the way his voice and demeanor soften whenever interacting with you.

I can definitely see Angel noticing this next and making a SCENE about it. He didn’t mean to embarrass his friend, but he can’t help poking fun.

(Also, Angel was mildly upset that Husk hadn’t just told him about his feelings towards you. Angel would be the best wingman.)

Angel does try to set the two of you up frequently, trying to nudge you guys to make things official.

Except one teensy weensy issue.

You completely misunderstood Husk’s advancements towards you as friendly banter.

Confusing your own interest towards him as simple excitement to hang out with him.

Angel and Alastor find this hilarious

Both of them are able to openly tease Husk around you while you have no clue what they’re insinuating.

They just watch Husk panic as they outright call him out on his crush. While you just stare at them confused as if they’re telling an inside joke.

It drives Husk bonkers how you don’t seem to catch on to his flirting or feelings for you.

He honestly doesn’t know what was worst, you not realizing his feelings, or the fact you responded to his advances so nonchalantly.

Can you imagine Husk gets the courage to hold your hand or something, and you’re just like

‘Oh this is a thing now! Alright anyways-.’

And just move on as if nothing happened/changed.

He even asks you out on dates occasionally, but instead of it turning out as alone time, you end up inviting other hotel members.

And he just can’t say no to you so he’s left with joining a group dinner, with apologetic looks from Angel and amused grins from Alastor.

When Husks asks for it to just be the two of you, you assume he’s in an argument with the other hotel attendees.

“Oh are you in an argument with Angel right now? What happened?”

“Is Alastor pissing you off? I can talk to Charlie about it! She’ll get it handled.”

It drives Husk NUTS. Every innocent move you make leaves him even more flustered.

The fact that you don’t even seem phased by it leaves him feeling frustrated and kind of rejected.

Which was never your intent! You just didn’t understand your feelings for the ex overlord and his towards you.

————————————————————————

You were in Angel’s hotel room. He was picking out an outfit for you, throwing you in all different kinds of combinations. Different dresses with different styles, cute skirts and tops, jumpsuits, you name it. You enjoyed the little game of dress up he was playing with you, but you weren’t sure the exact reasoning for suddenly using you as a model.

“Okay okay, this one is so cute.” You walk out of Angel’s bathroom, a huge grin on your face. Angel looks over towards you, wolf whistling as he looks you up and down.

You were dolled up in a burnt orange dress that was bedazzled in rhinestones. The shiny stones making diamond patterns along the dress. It had puffy sleeves made of tool that fell off your shoulders. The dress hugged your waist and the skirt flowed out, reaching just past your knee.

You look at yourself in the full length mirror, doing a little spin to see yourself in full view. Angel approached you, making sure the zipper on the back of the dress was all the way up and secure.

“You look hot, toots! The color really suits you.” Angel compliment while you ruffled your hair to give it more volume. You giggle at his compliment, continuing to admire yourself in the mirror.

There was a timid knock on Angel’s door, making the spider demon grin and turn on his heel. You kept admiring your outfit in the mirror while Angel answered the knock.

“Right on time!” Angel said as he opened the door. You look in the mirror to see who was at the door behind you. Husk was there, grumbling a bit at Angel’s enthusiasm.

Your smile brightened, turning to look over at Husk. Once he got full view of you in that dress, he froze, his face flushing dark hues of magenta. Husk was also dressed nicely, more put together than usual. His hat not on its usually place between his ears, his hair done up nice, a burnt orange bow tie complimenting a new grey suit he was wearing.

“Hey, look, we match!” You exclaim, grinning ear to ear. Angel sighed while Husk blinked out of his tiny daydream.

“I- uh.. looks like we do.” Husk muttered, his embarrassment getting the better of him. You both stayed quiet for a bit, the anticipation absolutely killing Angel. After what felt like ages of silence, Angel went over to you, nudging you towards Husk.

“Ahem, (Y/N), Husk here was actually wondering if you would accompany him tonight. There’s this new place that he’s been dying to try. It’s got some real fancy food!” Angel gave Husk a look as he tried to get the ball rolling. Husk only blushed and looked towards you to see how you reacted to his- well Angel’s- proposal.

“Ooo! Sounds great! I’d love to. Are you coming too?” You questioned. The ask made Husk die a little inside.

“No, nope. I’ve got some uh..things to attend to! So just the two of you. A date, you could call it.” Angel clarified, giving a not so subtle wink towards Husk, who returned it with a glare.

You feel your face heat up and for some reason your heart seems to skip a beat. Just you and Husk? There was nothing wrong with that. But the idea excited you nonetheless. Now that you thought about it, it was rare you and Husk got time alone outside the hotel. Sure he had suggested going out often. But not on.. a date as Angel had suggested.

You smile, moving to link your arm with Husk’s, “Yeah! That sounds great actually.”

Husk looks surprised at your reaction, he was halfway expecting you to suggest inviting anyone else to the outing. He can’t help the grin that forms on his face.

“Well then.. let’s get out of here.” Husk says, guiding you out of Angel’s room. As the two of you are walking down the hallways, Angel calls out to the both of you.

“Have fun, lovebirds! Husk, don’t ruin that dress, it was expensive!” Angel shouts, making Husk flip him off, grumbling a bit.

“Are we eating messy food? I can change-..” You start, but Husk cuts you off.

“No- No, sweetheart, Angel is just a prick. Don’t worry.. let’s just focus on tonight.”

“Just us..”

[officialabortive]

Naga!bakugou imagine pt2

Part 1

It had been a few hours since you had been taken into the den of a naga who introduced himself as Katsuki Bakugou

While his size alone showed the immense power he held, you felt no fear toward him. Well, not anymore

Yes, of course the initial shock and confusion left you petrified and shaking, but it quickly wore off when you realized he meant you no harm. It became obvious when he arranged furs and blankets into a little circle and placed you right in the center of the cushy assortment

So far you've gathered that he is keeping you as a sort of pet for him to study, wanting to gather information on human kind

He spent some time poking and prodding at you, tugging at the strange fabrics that cover most of your skin. Also having removed your shirt

Now he carried you on his hip as he moved swiftly through the forest. Your head resting atop his shoulder as you held on. Apparently you were headed out to see "shitty hair" or whatever that meant

It hadn't taken long to arrive at a cave. Its entrance was partially covered by hanging ivy. As soon as bakugou -who still was carrying you- entered the threshold, he started shouting for the one that resided here. "OI SHITTY HAIR! I FOUND SOMETHING"

"Oh hey! What's up bakugou"

You turn your head to see who had responded. It was another naga, and just like the one you were with he had spiked hair, only this naga's was brightred. This one had a black tail with small patches of grey, and a smile full of pointed teeth

But as soon as you entered his line of sight, his smile dulled and eyes went wide. You saw his mouth open with the intent to speak, but no words came out. Instead, his dark red eyes being back and forth between you and bakugou

Bakugou smirked at his reaction, moving closer and setting you down to the cave floor

"...you have got to be kidding me. Is that really a human?"

"Damn right. Found 'em right outside my den, completely lost"

"Huh, weird. I've never seen one of these little guys before" he leaned down to get a better look at you, the sudden motion causing you to flinch back closer to bakugou. This made both nagas huff a slight chuckle

"Aww, its alright, no need to be shy" his bright genuine smile seemed reassuring enough. "I'm Eijiro Kirishima, a friend of Bakugou's."

"...I'm y/n"

Bakugou swooped you back into the confines of his toned arms, moving deeper into the cave. Kirishima staying at his side as you saw an area not unsimiler to bakugou's den. This was obviously the main living area, furs padding the floor with a generous amount of pillows that sit in a corner

Stopping at the edge of the large living space, bakugou put you back on your feet so he could lean on a pillow. Kirishima settles close by, pulling you in so you sat against his long tail which formed a U shape

You were handed a plush embroidered pillow to which you hugged against your chest and rested your chin

Kirishima's gaze lingered on you, with a look of sadness, pity. You were obviously so far from home, and don't know the way back. And you're such a small being, lacking the needed height and muscle to defend yourself. He could help but wonder 'what if a bear had been the one to find you instead of bakugou!?'. Such a defenceless creature wouldn't stand a chance

"Ya know, I've heard lots of stories about what humans are like but you don't match a single one." That peaked your interest, wanting to know the tales of humans, told by nagas

With a tilt of your head you give kirishima a wondering look, insinuating you want to know more

"They all say humans are vicious and attacked others brutally, even their own kind. Stories of powerful weapons and slaughter for the purpose of stealing away homelands...

You could tell his mind was starting to wander off topic, his sentence trailing off

"What's- why... umm, your legs. Why is the skin on your legs a different color than the rest of you?"

He was referring to your pants. Apparently he thought your clothing was a part of you, your skin to be exact.

"That isn't skin dumbass. It's not even attached to them. look-"

Bakugou pulled you to rest against his coiled tail, and tugged off your pants in one quick motion

You yelped at the suddenness, cold air now brushing against your skin

Ok so, I've got writer's block. This has been sitting in my drafts and I can't think of anything else to add to this so I'm just posting it.

MASTERLIST

[pouringmyheartoutforpaper]

heyyyy i’m not sure if ur doing requests right now, if not - completely disregard this besides the fact that i wanna say i love ur work 💖💖

ok but steve x reader kinda based on call it what u want by taylor??? like steve’s just graduated and readers a transfer maybe? or a senior who’s just recently started dating him and everyone’s like … king steve king steve … and readers like no i know him and maybe reader would rather be w steve then go to a party and someone’s like what does steve own u?? (hence the line “not because he owns me, but cause he rlly knows me”) obvi change however you see fit - just an idea 🥰🥰

thank you so much for requesting!! i love this concept sm i hope this does it justice.

this is not proofread so please be gentle on me lol, also im not 100% how i feel about this but i'm putting it out anyways.

my baby fits like a daydream

steve harrington. king steve to be exact.

it was never really said why "king steve" became king steve. but its more than likely that it was a mix of his general attractiveness and charm. that and being generally kind, always the one to stop his friends from going too far, but never the one to stop them completely. and that haunts him. not to mention that he got allll the ladies. but they never lasted, because steve craved something real, something valuable. he needed to be loved. but he was nothing more than a hookup for most of the women he saw at the time. a truly hopeless romantic.

but then there was steve.

an embodiment of sunshine. kind, above all. selfless, extremely selfless. accepting, caring, and nurturing. making sure that the kids never experience the loneliness that he had endured for his entire adolescence. always ready to be a martyr. always dancing on that line between life and death whenever applicable. never genuinely believing that he was meant to be loved, more so just meant to be admired and used.

until he met you. it wasn't that you "gave him something to live for", but more that you made him realize how much he has to live for. it's like his life was in black and white, and when he met you it erupted into beautiful colors.

and while most people admired how secure and loving your relationship with each other was, some were jealous, prying.

for the most part, it flies past you both, too immersed in each other to care.

but one friday afternoon, as you were heading outside to where steve was waiting for you outside of his car; to drive you both to the diner where you're meeting robin and dustin; your one-time lab partner from biology class blocked your path.

you bit back a scowl, having already endured his strangely aggressive flirting enough for today.

"so you're coming to the party tonight right?" it sounded more like a demand than a suggestion.

"no", your composure faltered, "I already told you that I'm staying with my boyfriend tonight."

you pushed past him, having nothing more to discuss with him. the warm air hitting your cheeks, and the thought of the evening you're going to spend at the diner diluting your annoyance.

that is until you hear him behind you again.

"what? does 'king steve' own you now?"

steve can see you from the car, and jumps into action the second he sees the absolutely appalled look on your face before you swiftly turn around.

he doesn't make it in time though. you had already reached him and delivered a swift slap across his face. not only had he insulted your boyfriend, but he had also insinuated that you were an object to be owned by a man. this and the blatant disregard for your rejections of him sent you over the edge.

you muttered some profane insult toward him before steve's voice reached you.

the signature "woah, woah, hey, hey" -that steve uses every time there's an inconvenience.

the biology perpetrator had already speed-walked away as casually as he could. steves arm wrapped around your waist as he guided you back to the car and strapped you in, an astonished expression on his face. you had never done anything like this before, in fact, you're usually shy.

“what was that about baby?” he asked softly, closing the drivers side door behind him and grabbing one of your hands and stroking his thumb across your cheek.

“he’s so annoying! he keeps saying weird shit to me and he wont leave me alone. and he knows im dating you because i told him. and then he said some shit about his stupid party that i already told him i didnt want to go to. so i told him again that im going to be with my boyfriend. and then,” you inhale, trying to catch your breath, “he ran up behind me and asked me if “king steve” owned me.” you finished. putting his former title in quotation marks.

by the time you looked back up, his face was red. it was a look you knew all too well, that meant he was about to do something dumb. right now you assumed it involved tracking down your former lab partner.

youd be right.

his hand shoots to the door handle, but is quickly moved back by your own.

“no steve, i already dealt with him. i can handle myself. i just want to be with you right now, okay?” your voice is gentle, knowing he’s on edge.

“i know you can handle yourself, you shouldn’t have to.” he says through gritted teeth. you can tell he’s trying to keep himself together, but his knuckles are turning white, he’s shaking, and looking away from you. which he never does, unless he’s about to cry.

the parking lot is empty by now. you grab steve’s hand and pull yourself closer to him.

“whats wrong stevie? talk to me, love.” you bring his hand to your lips, pressing a soft kiss to the skin there.

“i don’t like that he was talking to you like that,” his voice trembles, “and i don’t like that it was because of me. you shouldn’t have to deal with that stuff.”

logically, it made no sense. but he was blaming himself anyways. thinking maybe his high school reputation made people believe that your relationship could be tainted easily. that he could never actually make someone happy.

"steve," you climb over to sit in his lap, "that's not true, you know that. it's not your fault at all, it's nobody's fault except for that weird guy." steve's face returned to its original sunshine state. "and we both know you don't own me. if you owned me I wouldn't be allowed to drive a car." you giggled, referring to the time you casually told him that you ran over a curb on the way home. he laughed with you, resting his head on yours and holding you.

"i know, it just makes me mad that people say that shit to you."

you look up at him. "well, i guess you're just going to have to take me to your house to keep me safe, harrington."

"i think you might be right, lovey."

[neotrances]

that user free range tiddies blocked me bc they thought i was disagreeing with them (they just misunderstood what i said and was actually agreeing w them) and then started insinuating i was a p*dophile bc of the "lolita" in my bio & misinforming their followers + ignoring everyone that tried to explain what lolita fashion was lol

I KNOW i saw that happen in real time to u like they r trigger happy as fuck with the word pedophile, both her and blk sasuke love talking but never listen and never apologize when they in the wrong the shit she did to u was evil like . genuinely the weirdest thing to watch especially bc u were so calm and wrote out a whole damn essay explaining and she just dismissed it and accused u of being a predator like they have no brain activity at all. none.

[mcl38]

Trigger warning for homophobia and hate. For your last ask….I also think there is a huge difference in where and when you grew up with how it comes to how you perceive these types of coded words. I grew up in the 80s and 90s in rural America when children in my elementary school played a playground game called “Smear the Queer” and said you would go to hell for being gay. I remember the death of Mathew Shepard at the hands of hateful people crying gay panic and being told if you were gay you would die from AIDS and that HIV was Gods punishment. I remember hearing the word queer and twink and faggot being said with hate and derision. I remember being told twink was short for “twinkee” because a twink was “young, dumb, and full of cum”. I remember a limp wrist gesture being a deadly insult to the boys in my school. It took me many many many years to even admit to myself I was gay. I still don’t talk about myself or my partner with the people I work with cause even now I just feel like you never know who is hateful. I can’t imagine someone openly yelling out a gay slur in the street anymore, but I can imagine not getting a promotion at work. I feel very disconnected from the current generation and their use of gay coded language which my whole childhood was used with such hurt. It’s like homophobia went from what I experienced in my youth of being open and in you face to being all these coded cutesy terms. It sure feels like all the same insinuations are all still there just coded differently. Or maybe I’m just old and out of touch and letting my experiences color how I see things now. It’s even hard for me today to accept the reclamation of the word queer by the lgbtq+ community so I know my experience color my perception of thing.

no i think ur absolutely right. its not that ur old and out of touch, i think its that the younger generation is naive and overly comfortable. i have not had an experience nearly as intense as you in my childhood but i think growing up in quite a heavily homophobic country like romania and then moving to the uk was still quite a big culture shock to me. i kind of had the idea as a teen that romania as a whole is a homophobic culture and the west just isn't to that level (mostly out of jealousy for the things i was seeing on the internet lmao) and that perception deffo changed since ive been living here. essentially what i realised was that (especially) men were almost as shitty to women and gay people in the uk as they were back home, just way more covertly, because they knew how to say all the right things. so the only consequence of this for me personally was just that in the uk i am more likely to be negatively surprised by someone who i thought was chill, whereas in romania i was more likely to b positively surprised by someone who seemed like theyd have a horrible reaction to me coming out. but as far as i can tell british people themselves dont clock this at all, and a lot of them will just assume that if theres no overt discrimination happening then theres no discrimination at all. which is kinda scary from my pov but again, like u, idk whether to feel like im just reacting to my own circumstances and projecting

so to bring this back to what u said anon, i too am just naturally suspicious of stuff that seems inocuous in current western pop culture, which is why i too am so weirdly bothered by this new 'mctwink' thing and the greater trend that the portmanteau is a part of. even in terms of the reclaiming of 'queer', which is such a hotly debated topic that its become associated with a lot of other lgbt in-fighting, having been on the internet and in academic spaces enough to witness the sanitisation of the word 'queer' has been quite jarring if im being honest. in an academic space to me it feels like a euphemism with the same vibe as 'differently abled' instead of disabled and 'fluffy / huggable' instead of fat, where the word is said by cishet ppl not out of a genuine care for the community its meant to represent but rather out of a fear of accidentally saying smth wrong by calling the thing what it is (in this case, gay). people are still so goddamn afraid of the word gay in super progressive english humanities academia and its actually quite funny like thats the ONE word no one minds u using but bc YOU have ur own biases to unpack u think its a bad word, ykwim? anyways. this is a lot of digressions

i think there is a point where we have to accept that language changes. im very anti prescriptivist in that i think we should embrace linguistic evolutions and neologisms and all that bc like at the end of the day we don't make the rules, the zeitgeist does. and i worry that holding on to certain meanings and connotations of words after the words kind of stop carrying them is dangerously close to ppl who insist on using slurs or derogatory language because 'when i was young it didnt used to be an insult'. like i used to treat the usage of 'queer' exclusively as derogatory because of its history but at some point i had to look within myself and accept that the ppl whose classes im taking and whose books im reading are NOT using the word as a slur so i should not assume that to be their intent. which ik is a hard pill to swallow - especially hard for someone like u, anon, who also has trauma surrounding those words. idk i think the lgbt & academic communities shouldve been a lot kinder in that specific transition but whats done is done now i guess

so yeah. now we reach the silly little fandom squabble that's really only a tiny fraction of this bigger cultural issue. but as discussed before i DO think people are using these new tiktok terms as well as the repopularisation of the word twink in a secretly kind of derogatory way, maybe even subconsciously. and i do think straight but maybe not entirely masculine people like lando and oscar are somehow the target of that homophobia, but they r not the victim of it. there just is a sort of fetishisation and derision that happens in the process of calling them twinks that has subtle but real repercussions in the wider cultural environment. and to real gay ppl. 🥴 fun stuff

and re: this i think again this is a complicated distinction to make. mostly because this website rly does host the lgbt community in the way that a tiktok algorithm thinking ur gay and shoving other random gay ppl in ur face just doesnt. but bc of the fact that this is a curated community AND bc of the relative decay of tumblr, we tend to think that our community is disconnected from the most, when time and time again 2 or 3 years later the discourse on this website ends up rehashed on more popular social media to varying degrees of bastardisation. so yes obviously part of the thin line ur talking abt is stuff like the idea of lando or oscar actually seeing the things ppl call them, but at the same time it's not like we get away scot free with doing whatever. in the way that in 2019 f1 shipping and rpf were an isolated niche thing and now the formula 1 twitter account is tweeting on main about 'lestappen' even using that specific portmanteau. see what i mean? which is y im complaining on here abt the twinklaren situation, even though on twitter it doesn't seem nearly as prevalent, because i know it's gonna catch up at some point

[simp4konig]

hiii dumb question here!

in “𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐈 𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬, 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐞 𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐥𝐥 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐭 𝐦𝐞.„” what was ghost lying about?

Hello !! Not a dumb Q dw <3,, im glad u asked since i can write all the little things i included 😈

Ghost lied about several things (paraphrasing quotes btw!):

about being [not] bitten; always assuring Reader that he is okay despite his progressive deterioration in health — physical AND mental. He accumulated many lies with each mention of his wellbeing growing worse and his increasing struggle to pretend that his suffering isn't intensifying. For instance, he dismisses his hobbling as "twisting his ankle when fleeing from another horde" (a zombie from the previous horde had bitten his lower calf/upper ankle) — when that it false. He comforts reader and rationalises his deterioration in health, at the expense of deflecting Reader's concern and twisting it as something irrational.

about the TF141 being alive. I've left this deliberately ambiguous since I a) don't write for TF141 and b) it would have involved expanding the fic n universe which i was NOT up 4 doing 🤯

— anyways, Ghost disappears to use the radio under the pretense that he "communicates" with the TF141, when in all actuality, the radio being turned on and connected to the looped broadcast message allows his and Reader's location to be pinged and tracked by the "Safe Zone" (i know jackshit abt how tracking works but since its fiction i thought itd be a p cool idea ! :D).

As a smaller detail, Ghost insinuates that it's difficult to get a hold of TF141, as he responds to Reader asking "when the sun is highest in the sky" they could contact them too, Ghost is elusive, and says that it "depends on the day". According to Google, on a clear, cloudless day, the sun is highest at noon; therefore, the looped broadcast message is broadcast at 1200 hours (noon) for an hour, which allows the signal from Ghost's radio to be tracked. Again, Ghost is lying, and evasive of Reader's myriad of questions.

and that^^^^ brings me conveniently to how Ghost lied about where he and Reader were headed. Whereas Ghost assured Reader that TF141 was and that their journey was to reunite with Price, Soap, and Gaz, the true nature of it was to safely bring Reader to the Safe Zone. Ghost thinks that he cannot be saved, and vows to protect Reader until his dying breath and ensure that they reach a location which they can call home.

about his feelings for Reader; being aloof, standoffish, and distant all for the sake of preserving Reader's innocence.

about keeping things "strictly professional". The casualness between him and Reader, their many interactions, the eating of food together, their constant close proximity and near-deaths, and slow development of a genuine friendship with "Simon" as opposed to being acquainted with "Ghost" all led to Ghost growing feelings. In the end, Lieutenant Riley caves and requests Reader to refer to them as Ghost instead — not necessarily a drastic difference, but it demonstrates how their relationship dynamics shift from superior/subordinate to equals.

— However, instead of preserving Reader's innocence, Ghost lies to preserve the good times the two of them had — to have that tainted for Reader with painful memories of Simon being bitten and being utterly powerless to save him was more devastating for him when still alive than it would have been for Reader (from his perspective).

and, finally, about the Promise. At the campfire, Ghost is deliberately vague about the nature of the promise that he forces Reader to swear by, and that is to inevitably kill him when he turns. Because it was inevitable, and at that point, he knew that it was too late for him.

— Ghost "lied", from Reader's perspective, about where they were taking them, and the nature of their journey. In their grief-stricken, hysterical state, it's not until later that they realise all of the lies they were told, and how Ghost was closed about particular details on purpose — a purpose which they were ignorant to, and which Ghost intended to keep them ignorant of.

I know that in most Zombie Apocalypse universes, people tend to turn quickly; yet, I felt that dragging on the inevitable would not only be more painful and tragic in terms of Ghost's last moments, but because I headcanoned him as a fighter until the end — which was supported by him literally digging himself out of a grave in which he was buried alive in according to some issued comic. Until he had air in his lungs, until he could walk, talk, and suppress the virus' urge to ravage Reader like a feral Zombie would, he swore to protect and escort Reader for as long as he had to, and for as far as was necessary. In the end, things didn't work out.

Ty for the ask n i hope this answers it !! I included some of my side notes too since i couldn't stfu ☺️💖

[vampyroteuthid]

hooty hoo!

[missmeinyourbones]

Baby can i ask for “Everybody wonders what it would be like to love you.”

And “I don't like that anyone would die to feel your touch. Everybody wants you.” for our precious jean boy?

Separately or not ( it’s up to you really)

Thanks 🧸🍓

jean kirstein x gold rush

requested from this prompt <3

NOTE: hehe you chose 2 lyrics from the song gold rush so i just titled this piece after the song and incorporated both lyrics <3 this song has always reminded me of him in general so writing this felt so right! thank u for requesting it 

“What’s it like to be wanted by every single woman on this planet?” you ask your boyfriend one afternoon. A light question is what you presumed it would be when it left you lips, and Jean just laughs it off at first.

“I can guarantee you that I am anything but desired by women, thank you very much,” he retorts. You’ve always hated how he never saw himself like you did. He was always so humble. Oblivious, some might say. 

“Oh, please,” you counter his meek statement,  “Everybody wonders what it would be like to love you.”

“I don’t think so,” Jean states, matter-of-factly, “I bet everyone probably thinks that about their person.”

Your heart swoons a little bit at him referring to himself as your person. It feels possessive, domestic even. You like it. But it’s not enough.

“No,” you insist, groaning at the fact that he’s not understanding, “This is different. You’re different. Practically perfect. I know so many people who’d kill for a chance with you.”

“Okay, now you’re just tryna get me worked up, right?” His hand falls on your thigh, slowly sliding up your leg, “Cause if thats your plan, it’s definitely working.”

He goes to kiss your neck, to nibble at that tiny spot he knows you like so much when-

“I don’t know why you’re with me, Jean,” you blurt out suddenly. 

His hand comes to an immediate halt where it rests on your upper thigh. This is not how he thought this conversation was going, he didn’t think you were serious. He pulls away from your jaw.

“…What?” his mouth hangs ajar. If anyone were to walk in on the two of you, they would think that you just killed his childhood pet with the way that he’s looking at you right now.

“Why would you say something like that?” 

He doesn’t ask it to be cruel or belittling. He genuinely has no clue why you, the person he’s been completely head over heels in love with for the past year, would say something as stupid as that. 

You shrug, suddenly embarrassed at his intense reaction. You didn’t think he’d be this serious about it, but when his finger reaches for your jaw, tilting it upward to force you to look at him, you realize just how serious he’s taking the insinuation. 

“I don't like that anyone would die to feel your touch. Everybody wants you,” you admit. Its honest, and gets your point across without the self-depreciation of your insecurities peeking through.  

Jean loves you, adores you, but he will never fully understand you. How your mind can make you feel so small, when you are all he’s ever wanted and more. You’re the biggest blessing in his life and you're asking him why he’s with you.

 He will never understand you. But he’ll try. God, will he try. 

“Why does any of that matter, when all I want is you, huh?”

[daechwitatamic]

Chapter 13: Cowardly || KTH

(banner by @itaeewon)

Title: What Was Hidden (Masterpost)

Rating: explicit, minors DNI pls

Genre: college!au, angst, eventual smut, strangers -> friends -> lovers -> idiots -> lovers

Pairings: Taehyung x female reader, MYG x OC

Summary:  This is how it all starts: Taehyung is flunking Western Lit. You’re assigned to tutor him. His paper on Strindberg’s The Ghost Sonata could pass or fail him for the semester. As you and Taehyung slowly become friends, then more, you learn that there’s a lot more to him than you originally assumed. Together, you navigate your own experiences with the play’s themes: one’s “true self” versus one’s “shown self”, darkness behind the facade, and how people can be quite literally haunted - and it has nothing to do with ghosts.

//

In which things get messy... and then somehow, messier.

Chapter Warnings: language, drinking, alcohol abuse, unhealthy coping and toxic communication, fully in the angst sorry

Word Count: 4k

I saw the sun and thought I saw what was hidden The Ghost Sonata | Scene III August Strindberg

Chapter 13: Cowardly

Saturday, January 12th 

Bridget drags you and Kiko to a huge house party further out in town on Saturday night. A few of the guys are going separately, so you know you’ll see Taehyung there. The house is huge, you can’t help but notice as the Lyft drops you out front.

Bridget leads the way, as usual, back towards the kitchen.

“Have you been here before?” you ask her over the din.

“No,” she tells you over her shoulder, “but these McMansions are all laid out the same. Watch, there’ll be a den off to the side.”

She’s right.

In the kitchen, she pours you shots and then you mix drinks as usual. There’s a cult classic movie playing on the big tv in the adjacent den, so you wander that way and stand around behind the couches for a while, chatting and half-watching.

It’s three or four drinks later that you make your way deeper through the house, in search of a bathroom. You find one, but there are three girls in line ahead of you, so you lean on the wall and pull out your phone to text Taehyung – “hey, haven’t seen u. u here yet?”

It’s on your way out of the bathroom and back to Bridget and Kiko that you run into him. Not Taehyung – Davis. Of course. You hate this small fucking college town.

“Hey, Y/N,” he says, raising his red cup to you.

“Fuck you, Davis!” you raise your cup back.

He scowls instantly. “I don’t fucking get you,” he says, voice low. “You’re such a fucking bitch every time you see me or Erin, but you have no problem with Nina?”

Everything inside you goes stone still.

“What?” you ask. “What the fuck does that mean, Davis?”

His face changes instantly – whatever he’s insinuating, he genuinely thought you knew about it. “Nothing,” he says quickly.

“No,” you growl, reaching out to grab his arm. You haven’t touched him in almost a full calendar year. “No, you owe me a fucking explanation for that. After everything you put me through, you owe me. What the fuck did that mean?”

He pulls his arm away from you, looks at the ceiling, and shifts his weight from foot to foot.

“Davis, I swear to God -,” you utter, eyes narrowed into slits.

“Nina knew,” he blurts. “About me and Erin. She knew from the first time.”

You stare at him. “You’re lying,” you say.

He shakes his head. “You can think that if you want,” he says. “Honestly, I thought you knew that. I thought she told you. She should have told you.”

You don’t answer him. You can’t speak. You turn away wordlessly and walk – you don’t know where. Outside is probably your best bet, always the place you retreat when you’re overwhelmed. You stop in the kitchen on your way out and throw back two more shots, relishing the burn, relishing how the hurt takes second place to it.

Nina knew? From the first time? Your best friend had known the guy you were in love with was fucking someone else – falling in love with someone else – and hadn’t told you? It can’t be true. He’s got to be lying.

But it would explain so much – like how she always refused to take sides. Maybe she’d really been on Erin’s side all along.

Your head is spinning, you can barely see straight. You’re nauseous, dizzy. You want to scream. You are way too drunk to handle this.

You slip through the front door and start down the stairs, when someone says your name.

It’s Taehyung and Hoseok, on their way up the steps. Taehyung is smiling at you, pleased to see you.

Part of you wants to throw yourself into his arms and sob. Part of you thinks if he touches you, you’ll scream.

“I can’t talk to you right now,” you try to explain. You know you aren’t doing a good job. “I really can’t. I’m sorry.”

His brows furrow, and he nudges Hoseok to continue on without him, coming down the steps closer to you. You hold up a hand, a warning, trying to stop him.

“Go away, Taehyung,” you tell him. “I mean it.”

“What happened?” he asks softly, and the urge to cry is there again. “What’s wrong?”

You shake your head. “Go inside, please. I just need a minute.”

He stands there, unsure. “I really don’t want to,” he says slowly. “You do not seem like you’re okay.”

“I don’t care if you want to,” you snap. Your hands are shaking. “I need a fucking second. When you needed to be by yourself I didn’t fucking argue with you, did I?”

He can’t refute this. “Can I at least tell your roommates you’re out here?” he asks, taking a step away.

“I don’t care,” you say, turning away and starting to head down the walkway, just to go somewhere. “Do what you want.”

A few minutes later, he’s back, Bridget and Kiko on his heels. You’re that much angrier, suddenly, feeling babysat.

“What?” you demand, stalking up to where the three of them stand. “What’s the problem?”

“That’s what we’d like to know,” Kiko says quietly.

Taehyung reaches a hand for you, but you pull away. You’re so dizzy you’re not sure how you’re even standing.

“Don’t fucking touch me,” you tell him, and the look of hurt he gives you makes you even madder.

“Don’t look at me like that,” you say. “If you had left me alone like I asked, then I wouldn’t be mad!”

You want to fight, you want him to push back. Instead, he just looks worried. “Y/N, what’s going on? What happened?”

Frustrated, pissed off that he’s not doing what you want, angry that you can’t lose it in private, furious and drunk, you scream, “Just go away!”

Bridget starts moving, dragging you by the arm towards the driveway. “Time to go,” she says flatly. “This isn’t you, and it isn’t okay.”

Bridget’s never firm with you, so you shut up, letting her pull you. A second later, Hoseok and Kiko come up behind you.

“I’m gonna drive you girls home,” he says.

“We can get a Lyft,” Bridget tells him. “We’ve got her.”

He shakes his head. “It’s fine. I’ll drop you off and come back here. Come on.”

You don’t speak in the car, fuming, embarrassed, dizzy, and wasted. You rest your head on your knees, tears leaking into your jeans. Someone – Kiko or Bridget, you don’t know – puts a hand on your back.

“Y/N?” It’s Kiko. This makes you cry harder. “Can you please tell us what happened?”

“Davis told me,” you say into the denim, “that Nina knew he was fucking Erin. From the first time, apparently.”

The car goes silent.

“Baby,” Bridget says from the front passenger seat. “Holy shit.”

“Yeah,” you say, into your leg.

Sunday, January 13th 

 You don’t remember going inside or getting in bed, but you must, because you wake up in the morning and run to the bathroom, barely making it to the toilet before emptying your stomach.

You brush your teeth and stumble back to bed, head pounding. You pull your pillow over your face, last night rushing back at you in a series of sounds and images - Davis’s flat voice as he told you about Nina, the flash of hurt on Taehyung’s face as you yelled at him, Bridget’s frown as she tugged you towards the car. Your eyes fill and you squeeze them shut, as if you can will the tears away.

“Y/N?” It’s Bridget, leaning over the top bunk. “You good?”

“I’m so sorry, guys,” you croak.

“I don’t think it’s us you need to apologize to,” Kiko says. This makes you cry harder, pushing the pillow harder against your mouth to muffle the noise. Your whole body shakes with it. Nina knew, Nina let you look like a fucking fool for God knows how long, let the potential for hurt just build and build.

 And you were so mean to Taehyung.

Bridget climbs down and sits by you, rubbing your calf as you cry.

“I can’t fucking believe this shit,” you sob, still into the pillow. “What the fuck did I do to deserve this?”

They wait you out; when you can breathe again you go back to the bathroom to blow your nose and splash cold water on your face. Your eyes are red and puffy, your face blotchy. 

“You need to call Taehyung,” Kiko tells you seriously. “He was really worried about you last night.” The and you were fucking mean to him goes unsaid, for which you are grateful. 

“I’m going to go down and get breakfast,” Bridget says. “Do you want me to bring you back anything?”

“Please, yes,” you beg. “Toast and black coffee.”

Kiko joins her, and you know they’ve done it on purpose to give you some privacy.

You call Taehyung, but he doesn’t pick up. Your heart sinks. 

[10:21 AM] You: hey. u ok?

[10:27 AM] Taehyung: sure.

You close your eyes. You really fucked up.

[10:28 AM] You: i was calling to apologize… can we talk?

[10:30 AM] Taehyung: we’re talking

God, fuck. You type fast, desperate to explain.

[10:33 AM] You: okay well for starters, i am SO sorry for yelling at you and pushing you away. there’s no excuse. it wasn’t ok. 

[10:35 AM] You: can i explain what happened

[10:37 AM] Taehyung: i know what happened

[10:38 AM] Taehyung: i appreciate the apology

[10:44 AM] Taehyung: i know you were drunk and freaking out… but im not your emotional punching bag. i didn’t sign up for that.

[10:45 AM] You: i know. i know you didnt. I’m so so sorry taehyung. can we pls talk?

[10:56 AM] Taehyung: i said what i need to. i think u did too.

–

Davis must get to Nina, because she calls you in the middle of the afternoon.

“Nina’s calling me,” you announce flatly to the room. 

“Oh, please let me talk to her,” Bridget says, reaching out a hand.

You stare at the screen, at her name with the little hearts next to it, the picture of the two of you at the beach last summer. You let it go to voicemail. 

[4:41 PM] Nina💕: Y/N, answer me. we need to talk about last night.

“What do I do?” you ask. “I don’t want to fucking talk to her. Now she’s texting me.”

“Tell her to go straight to hell, do not pass Go, do not collect two hundred dollars,” Bridget instructs.

“Tell her you need more time,” Kiko says, more diplomatically.

That sounds better.

[4:44 PM] You: i need more time before we talk. im not ready.

[4:45 PM] Nina💕: i have some things i need to say

[4:47 PM] You: idk wtf you could possibly have to say to me rn

[4:49 PM] You: unless you want to tell me how long you knew? how you found out? im not interested in why you didnt tell me. theres no reason good enough.

[5:10 PM] You: yeah thats kind of what i thought.

Thursday, January 17th

“It’s snowing again,” Kiko tells you as she enters the dorm. You haven’t been out much, except for classes and tutoring. You’ve been ordering a lot of your food, staying safe in your four walls, afraid of who you’ll run into on campus. 

You haven’t heard from Taehyung since Sunday.

“Is it?” you ask, turning on your bunk to look out the window. It’s not that late but it’s already quite dark, that deep, late-afternoon dark of the winter months. You can see snowflakes drifting lazily towards the ground past the tall lights that stand over the student parking lot below.

“How’s it going today?” she asks gently. It’s code for is Taehyung speaking to you yet. 

You shrug. “Same shit, new day.”

“I have something that might cheer you up,” she says, putting her bag down on her desk chair. “Yoongi answered me today.”

“What’d he say?” you ask, the words tumbling from you. 

She shrugs, getting shy, even though she brought it up in the first place. “We talked a little about how we must have both been feeling the same thing - scared, unsure, feeling like the other wasn’t that into it.”

“I would say you’re both dumb, but I have no room to judge, apparently,” you say with a sigh. “So are you two talking talking?”

“I don’t know,” Kiko says, but she’s smiling a little smile that tells you probably yes. “I guess a little.”

“Well, that does cheer me up,” you admit. 

The door opens, and Bridget comes in, dropping her bag by her desk.

“Party in building four tonight,” she informs you both. “Anyone care to join me?”

“No,” you and Kiko say at the same time. You giggle. It feels like the beginning of the year again. 

“Come on,” Bridget whines. “You know you won’t be coming out with me this weekend, Y/N, because the guys are going. So come tonight.”

You consider this. “Building four?” you repeat, trying to remember who usually parties there. Different hosts draw different crowds. You can’t remember ever seeing Davis or Erin with the building four crew. “Okay. But I swear, if I even smell Davis, I am leaving without telling you goodbye.”

“That is very fair,” Bridget allows. 

The three of you walk over sometime after eleven. You know you’ll be exhausted in the morning. Your spring schedule is slightly different than your fall schedule had been, but you still have the most classes - and your earliest - on Fridays. It’s like the administration knows that Thirsty Thursday is a thing and is trying its best to deter you.

The drink selection at the dorm in building four is measly, so you stick to beer. Kiko and Bridget stick close to you, which is nice, and you feel like they’re still kind of keeping an eye on your general well-being. 

You’re there for at least an hour when you spot a mess of black hair that you recognize first with a jolt to your heart, and then your brain catches up to inform you that - of course - it’s Taehyung. Jimin is right behind him, eyes scanning the room as they enter.

“No,” you say flatly, and Kiko turns to see the problem. “I hate this campus. There are too many men here that I don’t want to talk to.”

Kiko looks at you, eyes wide. “Do you want to leave?”

You sigh. “No. This was going to happen eventually. I can get it over with.”

She looks at you, unsure. 

“I’ll stay,” you insist. “Maybe he won’t even talk to me.”

This little bit of prophecy comes true; about ten minutes later you head to the table in the back of the room where the bucket of beers sits, and Taehyung is on his way back towards the kitchen from exactly that spot. Your eyes meet, your feet stop. His don’t. You watch his face go hard, his mouth tighten, and then he’s slipping wordlessly past you, as if you hadn’t been there at all.

That hurts so bad you almost gasp from it, but you have no choice but to keep walking, get the beer you came from, and retreat back to Kiko. Your face is burning with… you’re not sure. Embarrassment? General upsetness? The adrenaline rush that came with the interaction? 

So Taehyung definitely hates you. Now you know for sure.

A few guys who know Bridget drift over to your little trio and strike up a conversation. One of them catches your eye and says, “Don’t I have a class with you?” Over his shoulder, you watch Taehyung as he opens his beer and says something to Jimin. Normally you’d say no even if the answer was yes just to end the conversation.

Something acidy and spiteful makes you say, “Yeah, I think I saw you in Young Adult Lit this morning. Have you taken classes with Professor Whyte before?”

Bridget gives you a look out of the corner of her eyes. The look says why are you being nice to a rando, you are never nice to randos.

“Yeah, I thought so,” the guy says, smiling. He has a nice smile, for what it’s worth. You don’t get any meathead vibes. “No, I never have. Have you?”

“I did Children’s Lit, too, last year,” you tell him. “So far this one seems more… substantial.”

He laughs. “I can imagine. How much substance can you get from Children’s Lit?”

“You’d be surprised,” you tell him, smiling. “The first two assignments were on literal picture books. We had to write literary analysis papers without being able to take up space quoting the text.”

“Jeez,” he says. “I’m Michael, by the way. I live down the hall.”

“Y/N,” you say. “I’m up the hill in the triples, with these two.” You nod your head at Kiko and Bridget.

“Oh, the fancy dorms,” he jokes. 

“They’re okay,” you joke, still smiling. “But the stairs are a bitch.”

He laughs again. “You need a little palanquin.”

“Wow, vocab,” you say, before remembering that that’s you and Taehyung’s game. You try to recover quickly. “Yeah, I do need one of those. But then I have to find people to carry it, it would be a whole thing.”

“I could handle one side, but I’d definitely need a partner,” he says, and this is officially the point where you’d end things and walk away if this were any other day, at any other party. 

“What, you can’t hold it up with a single hand? Come on,” you tease. “You look strong.”

Barf.

He laughs, clearly pleased. “Not that strong.”

You’re standing closer together now, laughing as you talk. Suddenly, Taehyung appears right behind the guy, a smile fixed on his face. You can tell right away that he’s mad.

“Hey, Mike,” he says, tone light. “You mind if I borrow Y/N for a second?”

“Oh,” Michael says, looking surprised. “Wassup, bro? Sure, no problem.”

Taehyung doesn’t respond, not even to speak to you. He turns on his heel and heads to the door that will lead back out to the hallway. He doesn’t check to see if you’re following. Part of you is tempted to stay put, but you gather your courage and start moving.

You let the door close behind you, leaving the two of you in the empty, silent hallway. Taehyung paces a few steps and then turns back to face you. You can’t read the expression on his face; it’s too many things at once.

“You look strong?” he asks finally, his face twisting with disgust. “The fuck was that? You know you weren’t into that guy. You literally did that just because you knew I’d see.”

You frown. “We were just talking. It has nothing to do with you.” That’s a lie. “What does it matter, anyway? You haven’t spoken to me since Sunday.”

“You haven’t either,” he points out. 

“I tried,” you protest. “You didn’t want to talk to me.”

“Once,” he says, stepping towards you. “You tried once, and then never again. Of course I didn’t want to talk to you on Sunday, it had only been a few hours, I was pissed at you! You couldn’t try again another time?”

You feel defensive, frustrated. “You told me you had nothing to say to me. I was trying to respect your wishes.”

“It isn’t even about that, anyway,” he says, waving a hand. “It’s really about last weekend. It’s about how you bailed the second you had one fucking emotion.”

Well, that’s a direct shot. 

“You don’t know as much as you think you do,” you say, low, voice tight.

“I thought I knew some stuff,” he says, holding his hands up. “I thought I knew a lot about you, but I definitely didn’t know you were so cowardly.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” you ask. “I’m not going to stand here and just let you insult me -.”

“You pushed me away because you’re scared,” he says. “You yelled at me and stopped talking to me because you were getting in too deep and you needed an out. What happened at the party last weekend was just an excuse, just a catalyst.”

Vocab, thinks the part of your brain that is removed from the current situation. Out loud, you say, “I was ready to try and fix things after last weekend. You’re the one who wouldn’t talk to me. But maybe this is better. Maybe this should just be it. We’re both better off just walking away now. It’ll just be worse when it happens later.”

“You would say that. From day one, you’ve been the one holding back,” he says, his voice finally starting to get loud. “You know it, we’ve talked about it before. Maybe this is better, because I’m fucking tired of being the only one in this.”

“I can’t help it,” you say, deflating a little. “I just can’t get past the logical - we’ll hurt each other. That’s the only outcome I can see.”

“So hurt me,” he says, exasperated, “and let yourself get hurt. You know what happens after? You heal.” He gestures down at his leg at this. 

“That’s not the same thing,” you say, very quietly. 

“So what’s your plan?” he demands. “Never feel anything again? Never love anyone again? You’re trying to protect yourself from hurting, but you’re hurting both of us by doing this. I know you want to be with me.”

You shake your head. You can’t say anything. You know he’s better off if you let him lick his wounds and move on with his life. You will just fuck this up later, just continue to hurt him. If you keep this going, he’ll continue to love you and you’ll continue to let him down. There’s no sense in it. 

“Then look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t want me,” he challenges. 

You steel everything you have and lift your chin, meeting his eyes evenly. 

“I don’t want you,” you say. Your voice comes out firm and steady, the opposite of how you feel.

“That’s a lie,” he says, shaking his head. “I’m honestly fucking disgusted with you - you can’t even give me the courtesy of being honest right now. This is fucking sad, Y/N.”

He turns and heads down the hallway, throwing over his shoulder a final, “I’m done.” He slams the door at the end of the hall and it echoes like a shot.

Then you’re left in silence.

Friday, January 18th

You feel like a ghost in your Friday morning classes. You sit in the back of each lecture, keeping your head low, praying your professors don’t call on you. 

You’d managed to go back into the party the night before, to find Kiko and Bridget, to tell them Taehyung had broken things off. That you’d both broken things off. 

You hadn’t cried. 

You were too hollow for that. There was nothing to come out.

At lunch, you scroll social media as you poke at your food. 

Taehyung has posted: a picture of sunflowers - your favorite. The caption reads, “Why is it that the most beautiful flowers are so poisonous - the most poisonous?”

“Sunflowers aren’t poisonous,” Kiko says, frowning, leaning over to look.

You laugh bitterly. “It’s me,” you tell her. “That’s a line from The Ghost Sonata, Scene Three. It’s a metaphor. I’m beautiful, but I’m poison. Got it. Message received. Thanks, Taehyung.”

Spitefully, you like the post.

The next time you check, he has you blocked.

Next ->

lolololol i'm sorry pls dont hate me

Thank you for being here! I appreciate every single like, reply, ask, dm, or reblog!

Big thank you to Princess Pauli for being the bestest and for beta-ing!

[jesswritesthat]

you are such a good writer so i just know you’ll do justice to this. if you’d be willing, a small drabble about reader who tends to be quite standoffish w guys and just isn’t as close to them as compared to girls bc i remember being so stupid around my childhood crush and i’m pretty sure he hated me 😃 and then the guy i was friends w wouldn’t let me get too close to him bc he didn’t want people to think we’re “dating” n e ways let me shove my insecurities back down,,, but reader still loves watching romance anything bc someone unabashedly wanting to be around you like that?? can’t relate xx anyways it can be w any haikyuu guy, let the vibes come to you 🥰 thank you Jess love u 🥺

A/N: Hold up - THIS IS ME OMG! I feel you, I have terrible luck with romance but I find it so cute at the same time! I love you too, gorgeous anon, I hope I’ve done you justice 🥺

So allow me to kill some of those insecurities - or Oikawa will rather >:)

Warnings: cursing, fem reader

>>>>——————————>

Anyone could admit Oikawa Tōru was enamouring, yet you only offered a shaky sigh as your friend tugged you along to meet her team. That’s what you get for befriending the future manager of Seijoh back in Middle School.

"Aren't you from Iwa-chans’ class?" An internal shriek caused your eyes to widen, snapping your head to the local celebrity tilting his toward you rather than his fangirls. 

"I'm surprised you remember." Snarky. Nice, you'd possibly regret it if not for his all-too-gentlemanly attitude. He’d only barged in searching for Iwaizumi a couple of times, you didn’t think he’d taken notes.

"Wouldn't forget a pretty face like yours." The smile was beautiful, even so you crossed your arms with a raised brow.

"Next time, try harder~"

"So mean (L/n)-chan."

You winced, your head screaming 'I know! God I know?! Why would I say that?!' but it was natural instinct at this point, a defence mechanism if you will, especially against someone as cunning as Oikawa Tōru.

In honesty, you believed that to be the start and end of it - except your friend encouragingly dragged you to her practices and Oikawa strategically managed to catch you alone every single time. Makki or Mattsun (you think) subtlety coined your friends focus for approximately 10 minutes, leaving you laxly waiting for her to rejoin you. In fact with the consistency at which it occurred, you’d become friends with the Captain.

———

Only you’d let your guard down once, the team required managerial help meanwhile you got settled playing a romantic film on your phone. Immediately you were distracted, softness leaking to your features whilst muffled hopeless sighs of endearment were hummed in acknowledgment.

“That’s an unusual sound from you~”

“He just gave her a rose and they kissed in the rain, how could I not - shit!” It was a subconscious answer due to enthralment, the haunting voice only resonating mid-way through your justification causing you to shockingly snap around to Tōru watching from over your shoulder with a smug grin. You’d almost dropped your phone!

“Don’t stop now (Y/n)-chan, tell me how to get you to make that sound again. It’s cute.”

“No- no way! Get back to practice Oikawa - go do a jump serve or something!”

“Oh? So you do listen when I talk about Volleyball!”

———

It wasn’t until after their next practice match did you suffer his infuriating (yet admittedly appreciated) presence again. This time the brunette proudly standing by your side as he shared his views of the match with you - the burning gazes of his fans deadlocked on the two of you as if deciphering the DaVinci code.

"Maybe you should um - y'know, not be so close?"

A careful roll of your shoulder accompanied your hesitant claim, the close proximity allowing for the small movement to graze his left side. Oikawa shot you a perplexed look, leaning closer to your face out of spite - even if his inquiry was subtlety sincere.

"Why? You don't like it?"

"No - I mean yes - I just..." A sigh of defeat escapes as you run a hand through your hair before meeting his warm hues again. "People might think you care and I wouldn't want you to have to deal with rumours."

Tōru was unnervingly quiet, he would’ve took a step back if you’d asked, however this reasoning was ridiculous by his standard. Darkened irises scanned over your casual frame with fingers pressed against his chin in thought.

"What if I want people to think that? I mean it's true, isn't it~"

"Is it?"

A melodic chuckle echoes your sarcastic suspicion, the heartthrob of Seijoh nudging your arm with a charming smile that’d leave fans fainting at his feet.

"Am I not obvious enough for you (Y/n)-chan?"

"You're obvious to everyone - in fact you're probably nicer to your fans than you are to me. Hence why I'm hesitant to believe you."

It was beyond comprehension to think one of the most popular men in Miyagi be romantically interested in you, which is why taking the flirtatious antics of Oikawa was done with a pinch of salt.

“Hmm... in that case I’ll show you...” You hadn’t a moment to determine his intentions, not when he’d firmly hooked your wrist and dragged you out to the refreshing Spring showers currently hydrating Miyagis’ cherry blossoms that day.

“By getting me wet?!”

“Eventually maybe - ah, that’s not it though.” Only smirking at the death glare pointed at him due the insinuation, Tōru washed it away with the gentle caress of his palms either side of your jaw. You knew his hands were magic but this was surreal - a thumb brushed your cheekbone before his lips met with your forehead, his nose then skimmed to meet yours with a genuinely content smile ghosting his features.

“T-tōru?” Breathless surprise, that’s all you could muster with the rain trickling down your skin onto his delicate fingers. He’d never seen you so defenceless, and he’d wanted more of it.

“I actually like that sound better than your longing sighs, say it again for me, won’t you?” You’d pulled from him with that, your fingers lacing his wrists - to which the Setter fluently twisted and captured your hands in his own causing you to furrow your brows once again.

“Shut up, you’re not funny.”

A defeated sigh left him, eyes briefly closed in surrender prior to fluttering open with renewed admiration for you, mildly unwilling to admit the sentimentality underlying his actions. Sentimentality tailored to you and for only you.

“I know it’s not a passionate kiss in the rain like in the movies, the ones you like so much. But I’ll willingly, happily try - we can get to that if you want to go on a date with me?“

“Are you serious? Don’t you h-“

“I don’t want them, I want you. The person who lets her friends drag her to games she didn’t want to attend, who helps in practice despite not needing to, the girl who got to know the real me, and the one who looks really cute watching romantic movies~”

“I don’t know her but, I suppose there’s no harm in going out with you once Oikawa.” The witty response caused him to laugh along with you, expecting nothing less.

“Perfect - but my hair is gonna be ruined, can we go back inside now (Y/n)-chan?”

Rolling your eyes at his petty whining, you couldn’t hide the overflowing amusement in your laugh as you pushed him back into the gymnasium where his team (and your friend) sported expectant grins.

<——————————<<<<

[ Masterlist ]

[ilovefandoms102]

Taking Chances-Part 3*

Pairing: College!Drew Starkey x Plus Size!Reader

Summary: The basketball star seeks help from the girl he’s been crushing on for two years…will she reciprocate his feelings?

Note: I am so in love with this man it’s not even funny...🥺 

I have missed writing this series and now I have so many ideas so I’m so excited to have this for you guys! I hope everyone enjoys!

The parts in italics are flashbacks! 

Click here to be apart of my taglist

Part 2 Part 4

=====================================

After that night, Drew and I spent every waking moment together…

I couldn’t get enough of him, he was so incredibly sweet to me, and the biggest teddy bear. He will never admit this, but he loves being the little spoon. The past two months we have been dating have honestly been the best days of my life. 

However, people seemed to have a staring problem when we were together on campus. Drew paid no mind to it, his eyes either on me or talking to one of his teammates. They constantly teased Drew about how he hasn’t shut up about me since he first saw me our freshman year, and it seemed to have become worse now that we were together. I thought it was adorable, but Drew’s cheeks always turned a deep shade of pink anytime it was brought up. 

“Baby it’s cute,” I told him one day as we sat in class after we had escaped another round of his teammates teasing him. 

“It makes me sound like a creep,” he protested, arm slung behind my chair that he had scooted as close to him as possible. 

“No it doesn’t, it’s sweet.” I pouted, reaching out to rub his cheek. 

He leaned his elbow on the table, head resting in his large hand. His eyes swept over me, causing my thoughts to become self conscious as I squirmed in my seat. I looked everywhere but at him, turning back to face the front of the class. I saw him in my peripheral leaning towards my ear. 

“You look so beautiful today.” He whispered, kissing my cheek. I flushed as I looked down at myself, wearing one of his sweatshirts and a pair of leggings with my hair down in its natural state, and minimal makeup with my glasses perched on my nose. 

“Drew...I literally look like a trash can.” I chuckled, glancing at his almost hurt expression. 

“Stop that, you’re hot as fuck.” He smirked, pinching my thigh playfully. 

I giggled as I pushed his hand away, instead he intertwined our fingers and kept them on top of my thigh. Drew glanced to see if the professor was paying attention before quickly placing a kiss to my lips, taking me by surprise. I blinked in shock, looking over to my giant boyfriend. 

“What was that for?” I asked, still shocked. 

“Just ‘cause I wanted to kiss my beautiful girlfriend.” He shrugged, winking before turning back to listen to the professor. 

=====================================

Drew lived in the dorms on campus, meaning no privacy if we ever wanted to hang out. This made me very appreciative to my parents that helped me find the apartment I have to myself. In the last few months, Drew had practically moved himself in. 

Of course I didn’t mind at all...he was good eye candy. Besides that, he actually helped around my apartment which I found odd since no guy I know would voluntarily do the dishes or run the vacuum. It honestly made me fall even harder for the basketball super star. 

“Hey baby, holy shit it smells amazing in here.” Drew called, walking in my apartment from practice. 

I was occupied in the kitchen, whipping up some dinner for the both of us. Drew sat his duffel bag by the washer, no doubt more clothes in it that he needed washed. The washer and dryer on campus was outrageously expensive, and since I have a washer and dryer I just told Drew to bring his clothes here. Drew walked up behind me, wrapping his very sweaty body around mine. 

“Drew go take a shower, you’re ruining the aesthetic.” I huffed, trying to push his arms from around me, but he was too strong. 

“Well excuse me, I have not seen my girlfriend all day and I would like to love on her.” Drew said matter of factly. 

“You see her everyday,” I giggled, they intensified when Drew started placing ticklish kisses on my neck. 

“I know, but I didn’t see her today.” He pouted, his large frame completely engulfing mine. 

“Well you smell like shit, so off to the shower with you.” I ordered, shooing his hands away that seemed to have traveled back to my ass. 

“Fine, fine you win this time.” Drew sighed, laying a smack to my behind before disappearing down the hall. 

=====================================

Drew came back a few minutes later, fresh out of the shower in just a pair of basketball shorts hung low on his hips. It took everything in me to not jump him right then and there, and he knew it too by the look he gave me. 

“See something you like princess?” He asked smugly, flexing his muscles on purpose. 

“No,” I quipped, turning back to turn the stove burners off since dinner was done. 

Drew snatched my hand, yanking me to his chest. I gasped, placing my hands on his abdomen to keep me from falling. He circled his arms around me, one hand staying on my waist while the other tangled into my hair. I moaned softly when he tugged on the strands a little, his smile bright at my reaction. 

“I think you saw something you liked sweetheart,” Drew smirked, eyes falling to my lips that were slightly parted. 

“Maybe I did, maybe I didn’t.” I teased, the hands I had placed on his abs beginning to wander. His fist tugged my hair harder, my teeth biting down on my bottom lip to stop the squeal I was about to let out. 

“Such a brat,” he growled, his blue eyes darkening. 

“You love it though, don’t you baby?” I grinned, tracing my fingertips along the waistband of his shorts. 

“Fuck yeah I do,” he said as he leaned down to smash his lips to mine. 

I finally let out the moan I was holding in, my hands moving to thread them through his damp hair. I let my tongue out to play with his, both of us fighting for dominance over the other. He ultimately won, but not willingly on my part. Drew’s big hands gripped my ass cheeks in a death grip, a slight grunt passing his lips as he used his hold to pull me in closer. 

“Th-The foods gonna get cold,” I panted as I pulled away, chest heaving. 

“I want to kiss you,” Drew stated, leaning back down for another kiss. 

“But-baby-Drew-“ I tried, but was interrupted as Drew kept kissing me. 

“Eat later, kiss now.” he mumbled against my lips, my smile growing as I gave in to his request.

=====================================

“So there’s a frat party this weekend, and I was really hoping you would be my date.” Drew spoke as we cleaned up the kitchen. 

“Sure, I’ve never been to a frat party,” I shrugged, handing him another dish to dry. 

“You’re not missin’ much trust me.” He chuckled. 

“Then why do you want to go?” I asked, genuinely curious. 

“Because now I have a beautiful woman to show off.” He winked, making my cheeks flush. 

“You think you’re smooth Starkey,” I laughed. 

“Oh I know I’m smooth baby, that’s how I landed such an amazing girlfriend.” Drew smiled, leaning down to kiss my red cheek. 

“Yeah sure, whatever helps you sleep at night.” I dismissed, rolling my eyes playfully. 

“You help me sleep at night gorgeous.” he smirked, leaning down to kiss my cheek. I shoved his head away with my wet hand, giggling as he looked at me like I had ruined his favorite jersey. 

“What are you gonna do about it Starkey?” I taunted, beaming as Drew picked up some of the water and splashed me.

“That’s what smartass,” he countered, laughing as I gasped when the water hit me. 

“Oh it’s on,” I grinned evilly, throwing more water at him. 

Drew and I continued our little splash fight until my kitchen was covered in soapy water, Drew holding on to me so I didn’t fall but also so he had the advantage to get my hair and clothes soaked. I tried to get away, shoving at his chest, but to no avail he kept me in his arms. 

“Drew stop!” I squealed, his laughter making my heart flutter.

“You asked for it!” he shouted, squeezing a rag over my head.

“You better clean up this mess mister!” I yelled, giggling as he picked up a few more soap bubbles to put on my face.

“Now this, this is sexy.” Drew chuckled, my eyes rolling as I hit his chest playfully.

“Stooooop, now I need to go shower.” I giggled, leaning my head back to look at him.

“I should join you, ya know to make sure u get all the soap out.” He grinned slyly, hands traveling over my form. 

“In your dreams Starkey,” I whispered, kissing the corner of his lips before heading to the shower.

“Brat,” he growled, his eyes glued to me as I walked away. 

=====================================

The one thing I loved the most about Drew is-

Wait...did I just-did I just think love?

Wow...I couldn’t tell you the last time I had that kind of thought…

Anywho, Drew wasn’t one of those guys that pressured sex. The past few boyfriends I had always made me feel like I just had to give in, like it was my duty as a woman to please them. 

Sure Drew and I loved to tease each other, but he made it very clear that we were on my terms when it came to anything sexual. I’d be lying if I said that didn’t make my heart flutter. I truly, truly felt like Drew and I could last, or at least I hoped to. 

“I want you to feel completely safe with me, no rushing or jumping into anything you’re not ready for.” He explained, snuggled up against me in my tiny, queen size bed. 

“I do feel safe with you teddy bear,” I grinned, his eye roll at the nickname making me laugh. 

“I mean in the sense of talking about anything and everything, no lies, and no secrets.” He continued, gently brushing his finger along my features. 

“I can do that,” I agreed, running my fingers through his hair. 

“You-You don’t feel pressured to do anything just because I insinuate it right?” He questioned, a frown forming on his beautiful face. 

“No baby I don’t, I know you’re just teasing, and I like it. If I didn’t, I would tell you.” I reassured, kissing his nose to which he smiled at. 

“I’m in for the long run sweetheart, you ready for that?” He smirked, his arms going around my back to pull me impossibly closer. 

“I am,” I said nervously, feeling a lump in my throat. 

“Good, because I don’t plan on going anywhere and I won’t let you push me away.” He revealed, my heart thumping a million miles a minute. 

“Drew,” I whispered, feeling my whole body flood with emotion. 

“I feel different with you y/n, like everything feels so real. I-I’ve never felt the way I feel when I’m with you.” Drew confessed, my eyes filling with happy tears that I forced back down. 

“I feel that way too teddy bear,” I smiled, slowly caressing his cheek. 

Drew leaned forward slowly, kissing my lips gently. I threaded my fingers in his hair, smiling into his kiss. 

“Thank you,” he mumbled into my lips. I pulled back a little, looking at him confused. 

“For what?” I asked. 

“Taking a chance on me,” he smiled, kissing me again. 

I deepened our kiss, feeling my body ignite with fire and passion. Drew’s hands stayed firm, one underneath me threaded into my damp hair, and the other on my hip. His fingers felt the curve and dip, squeezing lightly which made my heart flutter. 

I had one hand holding his cheek, the other making its way from his hip bone and slowly creeping it under the wife beater he was wearing. I felt the ripple of muscles on his abdomen, tracing under his pecs. Then I felt my way to his back, smoothing my hands up and down as our kiss intensified. 

Drew abruptly sat up, yanking the fabric over his head then tossed it on the floor. My chest was heaving from lack of air, his doing the same. I grabbed his shoulders, pulling him to hover over me as I laid on my back. 

“Drew?” I panted, pulling away to look into his eyes. 

“Yeah? Am I going too fast?” He asked, his eyes filling with concern. 

“No, I just wanted to tell you that-that I want you to touch me-like...everywhere.” I stammered, my cheeks heating up slightly. 

I didn’t wait for his response however, reaching for the back of his neck to bring his lips back to mine. Drew moaned softly, sending shivers down my spine. It was the sexiest sound I ever heard, and I wanted more. 

His hands explored more of my body, taking both my breasts in his large hands. I wasn’t wearing a bra since we were originally planning to go to bed, so he was pleasantly surprised to not feel the cups of the bra. 

Drew grazed his thumbs over my nipples, a gasp flying from my lips as the exquisite feeling went straight down below. He moved his kisses down my neck, softly stroking my nipples that pebbled through my shirt. I let out a moan of my own when he gently sucked on a spot behind my ear, leaving his mark on my untarnished skin. 

“More,” I whimpered, moving one leg between his so I could grind my lower half on his thigh. 

“Ask nicely,” Drew murmured in my ear, and I could feel his smirk against my skin. 

“Let me have it,” I demanded, but my brattiness only got me a low growl from Drew. 

His hands came to my hips to stop my movements, a child like whine leaving my throat. I tried to fight his grip which only made his hands hold me tighter. 

“Brats don’t get what they want babygirl, you know this.” He reprimanded, laughing maliciously as I struggled to free myself. 

“Please,” I muttered, giving in. 

“What was that?” He teased, a frustrated groan escaping as I tugged at his hair. 

“Please Drew, please I need more.” I said a bit louder, a satisfied hum from Drew as he helped guide my hips to grind against him. 

I could feel his hardened member against my thigh, Drew’s low grunts in my ear making me even more hot as he was getting off just as I was. We both rutted up against each other, moans and whimpers from us filling the room. 

“Fuck this is so hot,” Drew moaned, making my head nod in agreement. His blue eyes almost black from lust, pupils blown wide as they stared into mine. 

“Feels so good baby,” I replied, my eyes closing as I could feel my release coming. 

“I’m gonna cum, fuck.” Drew growled, grinding both of our hips faster. 

“Me too,oh my god.” I gasped, my clit throbbing against his thigh. 

My back arched as my orgasm crashed down, stars flooding my vision. My nails dug into his shoulders, his head falling in my neck as his hips stuttered and his movement halted all together. I could feel the wet patch against my leg, making me smile slightly as I gasped for air. 

We laid there for a minute, not moving from our position other than Drew dropped to lay on top of me. I combed my hands through his now sweaty hair, his lips placing gentle kisses on my neck where his head was currently buried. 

“I need to change my pants,” Drew blurted, a giggle bursting from my lips. 

“I need new shorts,” I smirked, shuffling a little on the bed. 

“Can I tell you something?” Drew questioned, a mischievous twinkle in his eye. 

“Of course you can babe,” I chuckled, gently caressing his cheeks. 

“I’ve been dying to know what you taste like,” he blurted, my eyes widening and teeth sinking into my bottom lip. 

“Maybe you could have a sample,” I said barely above a whisper. 

“Can I?” He asked, fingers dragging down my stomach. 

I nodded, keeping eye contact as his hand dipped in my shorts. He scooped up my cum, being careful to not touch any sensitive areas. I stared downwards as his hand ascended to his mouth, sticking his two fingers he used inside. His eyes closed as he sucked his fingers clean, letting out a spine chilling moan that made me want to strip and let him have his way with me.

“How was it?” I smirked, eyes still connected with his mouth. 

He took his fingers from his mouth, wiping them on my shirt. I could see his tongue moving around in his mouth as if he was trying to savor every last drop. His eyes met mine, a sly smile forming as his lips came closer and closer to mine. 

“Delicious,” he murmured against my lips, and I leaned the rest of the way to connect them. 

=====================================

I met Drew at the frat house on Saturday, it was a pool party so I was a bit hesitant to be around everyone in a bikini. Drew was very convincing and talked me into just wearing it under my clothes so that if I didn’t want to I didn’t have to. I chose a higher cut bikini to show off his favorite body part of mine with a more plunging neckline. I wore one of his basketball shirts with his name on the back tucked into some distressed jeans with flip flops. 

“Hey baby!” Drew greeted, already in his swim shorts which hung low just enough to make every girl here wonder what’s underneath. 

I smiled wide as I came closer, his adorable grin making my heart soar. I was surprised though when he reached me and bent his knees with his hands on my hips to pick me up. I squeaked a little, not expecting it, but I liked it. I wrapped my legs tightly around him, holding onto his shoulders. I was even more surprised when he leaned in and kissed me in front of everyone. 

“That was some greeting Starkey,” I giggled as I pulled away, wiping some of the lip gloss that had smeared off his lip. His big hands squeezed my ass cheeks, another round of giggles erupting. 

“I like the ass L/n,” he commented, winking as he kept his hold on them. 

“I like the muscles baby,” I said as I felt his broad shoulders and chest. 

“You look so beautiful,” he murmured, tightening his hold on my ass. 

“You’re too sweet teddy bear,” I gushed, pinching his cheeks. 

“Damn bro, how your arms not broken?” One of the frat brothers asked, my heart stopping as I looked from him to Drew whose expression morphed into one of anger. 

“Drew,” I warned, but he ignored me and sat me back on my feet. 

“What the fuck did you just say?” Drew questioned, shoving me behind him. I grabbed his hand and used my other to grab his bicep, not wanting a fight to break out. 

“I’m just sayin’ man she thick and all but damn.” The boy scoffed, looking me up and down behind Drew. 

“Insult my girlfriend again, I fucking dare you.” Drew taunted angrily, taking a step closer. I pulled on his arm, hoping to get his attention back to me. 

“Drew it’s ok, he was just dropped on his head as a child and doesn’t appreciate what a real woman looks like.” I sassed, raising a brow at the boy. 

I didn’t give him a chance to reply however, pulling Drew towards one of the pool chairs. I stripped my clothes in front of him, his eyes widening at the sight of my bikini. I smirked as his eyes traveled up and down my body, lingering on the curves of my hips. I turned around to purposefully give him a view of the back, my heart jumping at the curse that left his lips.

“What?” I asked, grinning when his eyes snapped back to mine.

“You’re...you’re stunning, absolutely gorgeous.” he breathed, his hands coming to wind around me and pull me to his chest. 

“I figured you’d like it,” I shrugged, his head shaking as he smiled down at me.

“Let’s get in,” he chuckled, intertwining our fingers and pulling me with him to the pool.

=====================================

The frat brother that felt the need to make that comment earlier kept eyeing Drew and I, making him tense up against me. I moved to stand in front of him, wrapping my arms around him.

“You should have let me deck that guy,” Drew grunted, his hands going to my hips to pull me closer.

“He’s not worth it Drew,” I sighed, placing my hands on his cheeks and gently pull so his eyes would come back to mine.

“I don’t like it, he had no right.” Drew huffed, scrunching his eyebrows. 

“Let’s not think about it ok? I want to have fun with you.” I smiled softly, getting up on my toes to kiss him. Drew flashed a small grin, holding me closer to him. 

A little while later, the frat guy was completely forgotten. Drew and I were completely wrapped up in each other. We couldn’t keep our hands to ourselves which earned lots of stares from the other girls trying hard to get him to look their way. 

Drew pulled me to a corner of the deep end of the pool, Drew being so tall his shoulders were still above the water. He wrapped my legs around his waist, but his fingers stayed wandering on my private area of my bikini. I gasped in surprise, looking around to see if anyone would notice.

“Don’t start something you can’t finish Starkey,” I grumbled, gripping his biceps. 

“I’m not doing anything babydoll,” Drew said innocently, but with a shit eating grin on his face.

“Drew,” I whispered, his fingers moving my bikini bottoms to the side.

I stared deep into his eyes, blinking rapidly as his fingers slowly caressed me. I bit down on my bottom lip, trying hard to conceal my moans. 

“So pretty,” he murmured, leaning to place a gentle kiss to my lips.

The moment was ruined however when some of Drew’s teammates yelled for him.

“Hey yo Starkey! Wanna shoot some hoops?” they called, Drew turning to look at them before back to me. 

“Go on, I’ll be here.” I said, already missing the feel of his fingers as he moved my bottoms back.

“I won’t play for long ok?” he smiled, giving me a gentle kiss before heading out of the pool.

=====================================

I couldn’t help but stare the way Drew moved as he played, his coordination so flawless. He was going places, that I was sure of. Other girls of course walked by him, making sure they were in his line of sight with their tiny bikinis that barely left anything to the imagination, but Drew didn’t spare them one glance. 

As soon as he was done, he came to the edge of the pool and jumped back in. I turned my face away giggling, beaming as he resurfaced so his face was right in front of mine. I returned to my earlier position with my legs wrapped around him, a mischievous act forming in my brain. I trailed my fingers down his abdomen and lower, tracing the band of his swim shorts. I bravely grabbed his halfway hardened dick, feeling it pulsate in my hand.

“Baby,” he growled, his hands gripping my hips tight. 

“Hmmm?” I questioned, batting my lashes at him.

“Quit,” he griped, but made no move to stop me.

“I think you like it though sweetheart,” I winked, palming him a bit harder.

“I don’t want to get out of this pool hard as a rock.” Drew groaned, throwing his head back before coming back to meet my eyes. Our moment was yet ruined again by some of the cheerleaders.

“Hey Drew come dance with us!” they giggled, he went to respond until I squeezed him dick harder.

“Sorry ladies, he’s taken.” I fake smiled, waving my free hand at them. They glared at me before scurrying off, my attention turning back to Drew. 

“So possessive,” Drew teased, his hands moving to squeeze my ass.

“You love it,” I giggled, taking my hand away from his member to wrap them around his neck.

“It’s sexy as fuck,” Drew nodded excitedly, leaning down to plant a sweet kiss to my lips.

After a moment of us just staying like that, the party started to die down.

“You ready to get out of here babe?” Drew asked, my head nodding as I was eager to have him all to myself.

“Let’s go home,” I murmured, squealing moments after as he carried me out of the pool and to the pool chair where our stuff was sitting.

This giant man of mine just may be the key to mending my broken pieces...

=====================================

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[x-reader-fanfics]

Heyyyy :) I saw your last post w dataxreader, and I was wondering if you’d do another? I LOVED it 😍 maybe one where reader and data aren’t in a relationship yet, but he gets super jealous when someone hits on reader, and then mutual feelings come to light? Eeeek thank you, and if u don’t wanna do this one right away I understand cause u just did one, but thank u anyway, and I love your writing ♥️

🖤 Malfunction 💛

Summary: When a new Ensign takes a romantic interest in you, a new light begins to shine on the seemingly simple relationship between you and your closest friend Data.

Requests are open!

~x~

Data had always preferred working with you.

You understood the nuances of his coding and his odd personality in ways no other officer ever had. Where most would have been confused and perhaps even discomforted by his unusual behavior, you had always found it fascinating, even going so far as telling him it was charming.

“I like hearing things from your perspective. You say such wonderful things, Data.” You had laughed, bumping his elbow with your own as you and him worked for hours side by side.

You were his partner, the completing half of his equation. No one else would get the question right. He needed you, and you needed him.

“Good morning, Data.” You smiled warmly, sliding into his side as you began your shifts together as you always had, greeting him the same way you always had before, kind and soft.

“Good morning, (F/N).” He welcomed you back, cordial and quiet.

Mornings were the moments you always shared together, the small smiles and quick touches which insinuated more but never dared to be recognized aloud.

“I barely slept last night.” You sighed deeply, gently resting your head against his shoulder as your eyes fluttered shut. You reminded him of the Renaissance angels he had often seen in ancient Earth paintings. He should do a painting of you.

“Perhaps a visit to Dr. Crusher would be beneficial.” Data commented idly, refusing to move even slightly, hoping it might persuade you to keep your head buried in the crook of his neck for even a millisecond longer.

Touching you was right. Being with you was right. It was unexplainable, but it was akin to answering a complicated question correctly, or finishing a long project. It was what he had been made to do.

“Hey beautiful.” An unknown voice interrupted Data’s rampant thoughts, causing his golden eyes to flicker toward this intruder into you and his peaceful morning.

“Oh. Hey, Brad.” You slightly sighed, bowing your head politely at him before returning to your work.

“A couple of friends and I are having a party tonight at Ten Forward. I’d love for you to be there.” He grinned, his smile all teeth and his eyes shimmering a bit too brightly.

“A party in Ten Forward. I had not heard of this before now.” Data easily inserted himself into the conversation, cocking his head as he stared questioningly at the Ensign.

“Oh, uh, yeah.” Brad rubbed his neck awkwardly, clearly uncomfortable around the android. “There’ll be girls there too. If you’re even into that sort of thing…”

Data missed your eyes shooting towards his, a hopeful but anxious look dancing across your face. You had wanted to admit your feelings to your friend for months now, but your anxieties about his own feelings had always held you back. How could he possibly be interested in other people in such a way? He didn’t even have emotions.

“Tell your friends I will be there.” He smiled, over-animatedly winking as he returned to his work, a small but proud smile on his face. He needed to watch over you and make sure this Brad didn’t try anything which might make you uncomfortable. You were his partner to care for, he nodded satisfactorily within his head, as if needing to justify his abnormal behavior to himself.

You could feel your heart shatter. Data wanted to go to Brad’s stupid party? To pick up girls? You were planning on simply turning the man down and having a quiet night in, but now that Data was going…

“Well you can count me in too.” You had to force yourself to smile, fighting the urge to gag at the way Brad licked his lips and winked at your response. He sauntered away like the cat who had caught the canary, your hands itching to strangle him as you twisted back to your work station, a cheesy smile still plastered to your face.

“Are you interested in Brad sexually?” Data asked with a pleasant smile.

Your mouth fell open, your breath flooding out of you as a wild blush stained your cheeks, hot and embarrassing. You didn’t know what to say, you couldn’t even breathe!

“W-Why’s any of that your business!” You half-shouted, darting away before he could pry any deeper.

You couldn’t handle it if Data found out you were in love with him.

Ah. Data mused, each and every one of his circuits freezing on one overly-simple thought. It would appear you loved him.

~x~

You hadn’t spoken to Data all day. You were too ashamed to even consider facing him. Running away in the middle of your shift because of your personal feelings was not something a professional Starfleet officer did.

“If I may be so bold,” A familiar voice began, soft and warm in its cantor, “You are positively ravishing this evening.”

Data stood before you, an out-of-character smirk striking daringly across his face as he took your hand in his, lightly grazing his lips against your knuckles.

“Data!” You gasped, barely able to keep yourself from becoming a melted mess.

“What are we doing talking over here when we could be dancing over there?” He smirked, grabbing your waist as he pulled you by the hand towards the dance floor, a grace to his every step.

“What happened to you Data?” You asked, practically breathless.

“I downloaded some new personalities appropriate for such an event.” He dipped you low, brushing his nose against yours as he started deeply into your eyes. “Are you enjoying me?”

You couldn’t help but laugh then, carefree and dripping with affection.

You loved this man.

“Yes, Data. I always enjoy you.” You grinned, wrapping your arms around his neck right in the middle of the dance floor.

Data felt accomplished. Everything was as it should be. You were always meant to be with him, and no one else. It was just what made sense.

You were his closest friend.

“Data, there’s something I’ve always wanted to tell you, but I’ve never really been able to.” You grasped his hand tighter in yours, unable to remove your eyes from the floor.

“What is it?” He asked, patient and quiet.

“Pardon to interrupt, but I couldn’t let you keep this beauty all to yourself for the whole night.” Brad smiled confidently, bending his face closer to yours as he attempted to slide between you and Data.

Data refused to budge, pulling you closer against his body. He barely stopped himself from shoving the Ensign across the room.

What was going through his systems? The more Brad talked to you the more Data wanted to never see his face again. The closer Brad got to you the closer Data needed to be to you instead, as if to reassure himself of something.

Any smiles you afforded Brad were meant to be his. He didn’t want you to look at anyone but him.

But such thoughts could only be defined as possessiveness. Something Data knew was inappropriate for friendships.

He released you, giving you one last glance before quickly leaving Ten Forward. He couldn’t bear to see his hands on you, to see the love which would pour out of your eyes for the handsome human, something Data could never compare to.

People did not fall in love with androids.

Even as his system screamed at him to correct things, to take you in his arms and kick Brad halfway back to Earth, he refused to listen. With some simple rewiring he could set his head back on straight.

You were his friend. Somewhere along the way his pathways must have set the wrong link down, convincing himself you might be something more.

His feelings for you were nothing more than a malfunction.

You watched as Data stormed away, confused and hurt by his behavior. One moment he looked ready to clock Brad and the next he was almost throwing you at him.

Did he think you wanted the slime bag?

“He’s never not said goodbye to me.” You muttered almost to yourself, staring after your best friend.

“Maybe he just forgot to.” Brad joked, grabbing you by the hips. “Let’s stop talking about that android and start talking about us.”

You scoffed at him, harshly shoving him away as you ran after Data. You were going to tell him no matter what it took, everyone else on this ship be damned.

You eventually found him in Keiko O’Brien’s garden, his face almost forlorn as he gently caressed an orchid in full bloom.

“Data?” You asked quietly, not wishing to startle him even though you knew that was impossible.

He turned his head to yours, almost in disbelief. “Where is Brad?”

“I don’t know, he’s nobody I’m concerned about.” You stated clearly, stepping towards him. He was so tall, the way he gazed down upon you with such genuine confusion causing you to smother a giggle.

“I do not understand, but it is not a topic I wish to hear more about.” He admitted, returning to his flower.

“And why is that?” You asked hopefully, bunching your dress between your fingers.

He glanced back at you, face blank as he simply contemplated himself, the color of your hair and the look on your face enough to push him over the edge.

“Because I am malfunctioning.” He said simply, stock still as he waited for your response.

You took his hand in your own, holding it as gently as a bird as you squeezed it to your chest. “What if I told you I was malfunctioning too?”

His brows furrowed across his face. “Then we must see Dr. Crusher at once!”

Your jaw dropped, disbelief to the point of amusement dancing across your face as you watched the worry on his face slowly seep into bewilderment.

“I’m not talking about my health, Data.” You laughed, sliding your fingers against his scalp as you pressed your body flush to his. “I’m telling you I’m in love with you.”

He didn’t need to be told twice.

Before you could react he wrapped his arms tightly around your waist, pressing his lips against yours hard enough to bruise. He wanted you so badly in that moment he had forgotten to restrain himself, pressing against you fervently as he began to kiss the corner of your mouth, sucking and biting his way to your neck.

He couldn’t believe you would say such a thing to him, that you would allow him to do this. It was such a thrilling and new interaction he couldn’t get enough of it.

Without hesitation he pulled your flesh between his teeth, proudly marking you as his as he bruised your neck.

“Data…” You moaned, unable to do anything but limply hold onto him, knowing he would never let you fall.

“My (Y/N).” He whispered happily against your hickey, giving it a quick kiss, before standing back up properly, still refusing to release you from his hold.

Your whole body felt like jelly. Just from a few kisses Data had swooned you off your feet.

“You are so handsome.” You sighed, not knowing anything else to say but exactly what had been on your mind since you had first met the android.

“And you are so beautiful.” He murmured back gently, knowing he would spend the rest of his life saying those words.

[dwter]

it's not just going to the US. They're in Los Angeles one of the most densely populated cities in the country, not actually following Los Angeles County Mandates, and they're running around the city meeting as Many people as they can in a short amount of time. And they just got there so any tests they're taking are inaccurate and are wasting recourses.

And the party wasn't out of proportion lol. 50 people unmasked in one area that then all split off and went every where across the UK knowing the delta variant was strong and not affected by the vaccine very well could have started an outbreak. They're lucky it didn't

Like if you don't want to take COVID seriously that's fine but you shouldn't act like the CCs are beyond critism for their blatant disregard of the safety others. Cause tbh it's not just about them

first of all dont accuse me of not taking covid seriously bc i literally have been staying home the last week over a fucking cold missing my first week of my hardest quadmester bc i needed to get tested u fucking dumbass 😭 and on top of that i was literally known in my family for not leaving the house for genuinely weeks at a time and continue to never leave the house other than for school bc i actually take stuff seriously. do not try and insinuate shit about ME who u know nothing about during a discussion about discourse over minecraft youtubers u freak 😭 also im not acting like the ccs are above criticism, that was an unnuanced post saying i personally think ppl are being dramatic, not that the crit was unwarranted at all u weirdo. and las mandates literally just seem like masks? even less if youre fully vaxxed? regardless, that wasnt even my point, my point was saying that as long as they are being safe, i dont see the big deal in them doing what everyone else is doing. also u have to get tested before getting on a plane so they didnt “just” get tested, they had to be approved before going im almost 100% sure. and lastly, that party ended up being overdramatized for a few reasons. a) the uk restrictions were no where near the extent of most other places and they were actually well within not just government right to have a party, but socially as well it was acceptable as things over there were very lax b) everyone got tested before hand and it was a secluded event where things were as safe as they could possibly be and c) it was literally just not the big doomsday covid event with a crazy number of people that everyone thought it was. it was like a highschool classroom and a half of people. the big criticism should be to the people who were trying to act like the party had NO risk (imalexxx) and that they should stop caring in general when geenelly had done so much to go against that ideology and make things as safe as possible

[modern-vellichor]

In Her Blood; Four

Summary: The camping trip opens old wounds for everyone.

Pairing: DadsBestFriend!Bucky x Reader

Warnings: murder(not really but its insinuated), mentions of suicide, angst!!!, age gap relationship, mentions of ptsd, uncomfortable family situation, bad father figure, smut, blood play if u squint

Masterlist ||

The next morning you pack the cars. Bucky throws his case in the trunk of your car.

"you riding with me?", you ask.

"yeah, Sarah wants to drive with your parents. Didn't wanna leave ya alone", he shoots a tight lipped smile in your direction.

A look of disappointment flickers on your face, but its soon replaced by a playful and childlike grin.

"okay", you giggle.

You hop in the drivers seat, Bucky buckling himself in next to you. You pull out after Sarah and your parents, following them the whole way there.

Early 2000s punk plays through the stereo. You bang your head lightly, mouthing the words to old Blink 182. Bucky chuckles softly to himself at the sight.

After an hour you pull into a garage. You leave Bucky in the car and meet Sarah at the door to the shop, you take her hand playfully and rest your head on her shoulder while you walk in. Bucky smiles.

You come back with two cokes and a bag of different snacks. You slide in next to him with a smile and a chuckle. You launch a sandwich and the coke at him, he laughs.

The rest of the drive is silent. Only another hour or so.

You arrive at the site by noon, a small enough cabin and a beautiful lake, the dark woods framing most of it.

You take your sisters hand, leading her to the room you're sharing. Your laughs echo through old, damp wood.

Sam and Steve take the master, Bucky is left with the small guest room at the end of the hallway.

The group recollects just as the sun is going down, the sky painted bright pink and orange, a gloomy forest casting haunting shadows on the site.

The fire crackles quietly while you eat. Sam tells childhood stories, the rest of you laugh and nod along. Bucky cant help but let his gaze wander to you.

Then you're pulling off your top and running towards the lake, Sarah close behind you. You're laughing as you dive gracefully into the dark water, barely making a splash. When you resurface, your head breaks in the centre of the lake. Bucky laughs, so do your parents.

You and Sarah play for a while, swimming and diving and bringing up rocks and little shiny things you find.

The first night is peaceful. Morning arrives and Steve, Sam, and Sarah go for a hike. You stay at the cabin, you sketch the rustic view from your window.

The next evening, you all sit around the fire. You drink and you laugh, you shoot Bucky soft looks all night. Its homely and peaceful. Then you pull the box of cigarettes from your pocket, you let the flames lick it alight and retreat to the edge of the lake. You're out of the way, but Steve still sighs.

"are you kidding?", he snaps at you. "now?"

"Steve", Sam mumbles, trying to calm him down. "she's all the way over there, leave her". Its to no avail.

"those things kill you, you know", he barks.

"just like you", you murmur under your breath, he cant make out what you're saying. You make yourself small, nursing your cigarette.

"what did you say?", Sarah and Sam both start trying to calm Steve, you stay silent. "answer me, Y/N!"

"stop, you're scaring Sarah", you mumble, Bucky stands up and begins to approach, ready to jump in if needed.

"This isn't about Sarah", he's shouting now. You snap then.

"It's always been about Sarah", you crush the cigarette under the toe of your boot. "I never minded when daddy got angry, but Sarah always cried when he shouted"

"stop it!"

"Remember when you broke that plate, Sarah thought daddy got the gun from the loose floorboard and shot her sister dead. Sarah who thought daddy was gonna kick Y/N out, Sarah who thought she was gonna find Y/N dead on the bathroom floor", you shout with a sick smile, you advance on him as Steve stumbles back. He throws empty threats at you, but you don't listen.

Sarah begins to cry and Sam has to carry her inside, he closes the door behind her and runs back to Steve. He pulls Steve away by the bicep and you turn back to the lake. You sit by the waters edge, lighting another cigarette as Bucky sits next to you.

You rest your head on his shoulder and he wraps his arms around you, he coos softly, half expecting you to cry. He's confused when you don't. It's a strange comparison, how Sarah went screaming, but you stood still, quiet.

"what happened, kotenok?", he purrs, soft and sweet.

You stumble over your words for a moment, "Sarah has always been more.. sensitive", you whisper, smoke drifting from your lips. "She's always been more prone to breakdowns and crying and things"

"you're like Steve, he's a suffer in silence kind of guy"

"like father like daughter, eh?"

He chuckles softly, "I guess so, yeah"

You sent him away after a while, choosing to sit by yourself. You sat there until the sun started to rise, the time Steve would normally go out for a walk. Sure enough, he came and tapped you on the shoulder.

He smiled down at you apologetically, offering his hand. You took it.

"wanna come for a hike?"

You nodded with a smile and followed after him, a few steps behind.

"I'm really sorry, about last night, about everything actually"

"its okay", you mumble, not wanting to get into it.

"I'm proud of you, you know", you stopped at his words, stunned. "yeah, I was just like you when I was young. I wanted to go to art school. I know I made a big deal of you dropping out, but I'm proud of you"

You gave a genuine smile as you hugged his side, he mumbled an 'I love you' into your hair and the two of you continued hiking in happy silence.

Sarah wasn't talking to either of you, you couldn't bring yourself to face her either. So while she was outside that evening, you slipped into your shared room and grabbed some spare clothes before trudging down the hall and knocking on Bucky's door.

"Hey", he chimed, when he took you in, he was slightly confused. "you okay?"

"yeah", you chuckled, mumbling slightly. "can I stay in here?"

He was more than happy to let you sleep in his bed, the two of you curled up together behind a locked door. He ran his hands through your hair, stroking his knuckles softly over your cheek. He traced the curve of your nose, the outline of your lips, even the line of your collarbones.

You kept your eyes closed, just let him admire you. You only opened them when he tucked himself against you, nuzzling into the crook of your neck, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you flush against him. You loosely slung your arms around his shoulders, tracing your fingertips over the plates of his metal arm. You hummed when they clicked and whirred softly under you touch.

"you're so soft", he mumbles into your skin.

You chuckle in response, "what?"

"no one is ever gentle when it comes to that thing", he shrugs his left arm as he speaks, you watch in admiration as all the plates click in succession.

"I think it's interesting", you whisper. "It's actually kind of pretty"

He laughs at your response, but he doesn't realise that your sketchbook is filled with icy blue eyes and a shiny collaboration of vibranium where a limb should be, all sketches of varying degrees of completion.

He lifts his head to gaze at you, just for a moment before hes craning his neck to plant a sloppy kiss on your lips, you eagerly return. He crawls his way up the bed, cupping your face in calloused hands, now you're craning your neck. He slowly rolls himself on top of you, snaking one hand to the back of your neck. You kiss, because that's all you can do, with your parents right down the hall.

Eventually he falls asleep and you slip out of his grasp, finding scrap paper and a pen. You sketch the broad expanse of his back, taking extra care to map out his scars just right, you search for all the paper thin scars and the ones that look like freckles, you sketch them too. He's a beast of a man, you should be scared of him, but you aren't, you've got him wrapped around your finger.

The next morning he slides into the passenger seat next to you, you smile at him. He rests his hand on your thigh, occasionally wandering higher or pinching the soft flesh, sometimes he leans in and peppers feather light kisses to your cheek. He gently bites at your neck, making you whimper and whine behind the wheel.

When you finally pull into his driveway, he insists you come in. You wave at Steve, gesturing to Bucky's open door, he throws you a thumbs up.

You shut the door gently, and Bucky's on top of you in seconds, hand on your throat, pinning you to the door, you whimper.

"it's okay, kitten", he growls, "I won't hurt you", you stay silent. He presses soft kisses to your cheek, trailing them across your jaw and down your neck, and then he lands on your pulse point, and he bites down hard. You yelp, and he pulls you up the stairs.

He does the same thing when he has you caged against the bed, his hands massage your thighs as he trails loving kisses down your neck, before sinking sharp teeth into your pulse point, making you gasp.

He does it again once he's buried deep inside of you, one hand prying your thighs apart and the other holding your wrists above your head. He mumbles words of praise between kisses; "such a good girl for me, taking everything I give you", then he clamps sharp canines into your neck again, only this time he tastes blood.

It's a welcome taste on his tongue; warm and metallic, and strangely familiar.

When he's finished, panting and glowing in soft evening light, you examine him closely. He smiles down at you, and he wonders what you're looking for.

"you could tear open my throat, and let me die in your arms", you whisper, but you're only half here, your mind has wandered, but he knows you still expect an answer.

"I could", he says plainly, accepting of the fact that you were so fragile compared to him, that he could rip you up and tear you open and let you bleed out in his arms.

"why don't you?"

"I'm a sucker for art girls", he whispers jokingly, but when you gaze up at him, he can see that theres something bigger at play in your mind, so he takes a deep breath and tries again. "you're soft, and familiar, and you make everything a little bit better. Why would I kill the object of my affections, when I could just mark her, make her mine, and have her forever", he words it as poetically as he can, desperate to satisfy whatever thirst you needed to quench.

You nod slowly, taking in his words. Then you roll away from him and pick your jeans up from his bedroom floor, you fish around in your pockets before you pull out a carefully folded piece of paper and hand it to him.

It takes him a while to realise what it is. It's one of your sketches, he identifies that immediately. But then he realises that its him, it's his back, the night you slept in his room at the cabin. He looks at it more closely, ogling at the detail and the perfect placement of every imperfection staining his skin.

He takes you in his arms, and presses a soft kiss to your pulse point, blood seeping slowly onto his lips.

'his', you think, and a part of you wants to never let him go, and another knows that eventually, you'll need to.

@vicmc624 @adriannajackson @zizzlekwum @chipilerendi @madaroni37

[g3nosarchive]

ok i genuinely think a lot of other people have this problem but stop inserting yourself when xyz issue is mentioned. when someone is telling you that a person, a celebrity, some franchise is harming their identity or anyone’s identity as a minority, or part of a certain race or religion or anything shut the fuck up and accept it.

they do not need to know your emotional attachment to said thing, your disbelief, your horror, your personal experience - we didn’t ask for all that. we know just how bad it is, cus yk it harms us maybe? we’ve already gone through the cycle of being angry and indignant and now we’re here trying to get you to understand in the hopes that as a friend you do what you’re meant to do when you became friends with us. we are not your constant ball of anger to use whenever you find something that’s “crazy, unbelievably, shockingly” once again, a hate crime, when you decide you want to feel angry and care about it.

more under the cut bc i talk too much

by doing that, you’re making an issue that you didn’t even know about suddenly yours. ask yourself, what is the purpose for telling anyone all that? to get them to sympathize with you personally so you can get a pass because you didn’t know? of course you don’t know, of course you’re unaware, that’s the whole reason why you’re being told in the first place. do not water down the issue or even try to play the ‘everything has some issue like this so there’s no point in going this far’ card. especially as a white person. the reason why you don’t know primarily is because it doesn’t affect you and it doesn’t cross your mind.

when you watch a show with a black character, you don’t care about how off the character design is or how stereotypical and borderline racist the comedy gag surrounding said character is. when you listen to your favorite white music artists or watch your favorite movie with a majority white cast, white staff, white team, and white theme, you don’t care to analyze just how outdated and stereotypical the way that token asian character is portrayed. some of y’all don’t understand and will never understand the mental struggle and awareness forever plugged into the brain of lgbt and/or poc, especially black people when we consume anything, when we go anywhere, when we meet new people, to constantly catch those micro aggressions and know what to avoid.

so when someone tells you insert classic hot mess is racist and you should stop supporting it, one of the worst things you can do beside outright rejecting it is to defend it and insinuate that we don’t know what we’re talking about, that we need 30 different sources to prove it all, that you don’t think (for example taylor swifts dream colonized africa mv) is bad. you try to say the thing or person that is actively promoting all this homophobia, racism, transmisogyny etc needs to be kindly educated, is trying their best, will learn soon enough, just wasn’t educated, will do better in the future (esp looking at u kpop stans). does their apparent regret but refusal to properly apologize actually matter? the damage has already been done.

that in itself is a privilege i could never have. i don’t even try being a fan of any major white celebrity or any kpop group because i guarantee if i search up their name with ‘racist’, ‘sexist’, ‘homophobic’, ‘transphobic’, ‘cultural appropriation’ behind it something or some image is bound to show up. you will all say “oh they haven’t done anything yet” but when it comes out that they did, they have, and they do not care about who it affects, suddenly it’s a bombshell dropped on you out of nowhere.

it’s not that hard to spot these things actually. if your fav is constantly putting themselves against people of color, saying shady shit about non cishets while being a cishet themself, saying one thing and doing another, or has been silent when their voice was expected to speak up, shouldn’t you notice? y’all will reblog all these posts but in reality only 10% are actually reading and listening and actually digesting this information for future use.

and i think the thing that pisses me off is this is all from personal experience where i’m speaking from. over the past 2 days the amount of times if i’ve heard about the “tea that dropped w meghan markle” is ridiculous and annoying. a girl texted me and i sat there and i realized that she does this on a daily basis to fuel my anger and get me to validate her own useless anger. of course i knew about it and i wasn’t surprised at all - she’s still a black woman.

almost every black blog on here, when they get big enough, deals with some sort of weird shit surrounding their blackness. if you get big on speaking about issues you are now this emotionless token ‘smart black person i can actually trust’ to use as your replacement for google. this is not to say asking questions is bad, but it is so easy to pull up some of the shit you guys ask for. some people get called slurs directly, targeted for being too black or not black enough, attacked for their features and etc and someone mentioned this before but the only people that care in those situations are other black people themselves. white people will have blm in their bio but turn the other way the minute some anon starts acting up in their mutuals’ inbox, calling them a dark1e because they felt confident enough to post some selfies. and then you get sad when we dont go to you for any kind of support? 

i’ve stated sometimes that asking me questions on issues and things is okay, but one of the main reasons i say that is because whether i say it or not, i’ll be asked questions and expected to know everything and i am your personal walking encyclopedia and ofc it’s natural for me to have all this information in my head, as if i didn’t research it myself. but then i think about the numerous amounts of people that specifically say not to ask them this shit because it really does tire you out, that they don’t want to have to deal with this in any space but they still get them. 

and then the ones that don’t even know themself so people will use them as an example and say “well this person didn’t know and they’re ‘marginalized identity’ so it should be fine for me too”. good god just apologize, show that you really care, change your behavior and move on. do you think it was fun being asked the statistics for george floyd’s and other black peoples death in class? that you were being inclusive and giving me a chance to show off my intelligence, to prove to others that i really had something up here and you were my greatest star eyes white friend that gave me that chance? i cant close my posts like this properly but i want you to think about that shit and actually ask yourself if you’d do that. a lot of you will read this and think “i’m not that type of racist” “i don’t have those deep seated prejudices in me” yes you do. you just haven’t been called out on it.

for all the shit ive dealt with above, if i’ve ever talked to you about this before dont come to me to apologize i do not need it and you are not the only person i’ve received this from. i guarantee you that there’s about 20 other people i’ve thought about while writing this post considering i’m a black person in the real world, so keep your guilt to yourself an deal with it

white people don’t add on to this