#i generally like how most of this came out!! theres one specific character im sorta... meh about but most of them i like!!

[purple8cat]

drew this almost 2 weeks ago and decided why not post it. after all this did take me like... 10 hours dkjhfdjkhfh

[angelfevr]

❤️️❤️️❤️️ :3

i have multiple wips so i'll talk abt All of them

this may get long, so.

icdwd - aka i couldn't dance with death if i tried!! its a zero escape fic mostly exploring a potential (loveless) relationship between akane and mira. its abt a lot of things i realize i never rlly touched upon in my other works?? for context im aromantic and i like. Constantly talk abt it even to my allo friends esp abt the constant amatonormativity the world likes to throw at us. specfically how ppl feel pressured to be in a relationship. why? well, various reasons: to fit in, to be seen as "more mature" (aspecs tend to experience infantilization and this doubles if ur autistic), to be seen as human, bc u feel like itll make u whole, bc u dont realize theres another option!! ive always hced my favs as aro ever since i realized it, but i always used to focus on the ace part of my identity. so i never rlly got to write a fic that explores aromanticism, aside from a fic i wrote four years ago in which leorio and kurapika hxh r in a qpr

another thing is i have ocd and for that reason, i dont like to write abt sexual topics . but in this fic, ive been sorta delving into that (its literally nothing just a fade to black that immediately goes to like the character waking up in another character's bedroom) and idk i think it shows my growth in a way?? that im willing to finally write that stuff without my ocd trying to kill me??? idk its . smth

im also having a Lot of fun writing akane and miras dynamic. i think, with me hcing them as aro (akanes aroace and miras an aro lesbian), i feel itd stand out more compared to other mirakane fanworks and interpretations . like this isnt a relationship ur supposed to root for!!! its abusive, its messy, its Uncomfortable, gory, and both women have ulterior motives. idk i like writing abt two unabashedly flawed queer women and having them navigate a relationship when one has no experience while the other has experience but whose disability prevents them from connecting w others (akane has a similar struggle), idk!! its an interesting dynamic

queerpei - i like a lot of the descriptions i wrote. im so used to writing akane that its soooo weird writing in the headspace of anyone else. but junpeis introspection is fun, like he has a mind of his own... i have this experience when writing akane (im plural so. go figure) and even when writing diana

angelus custos - so im kinda in the planning stage for this one but . Wow. im so proud of myself and how far ive come with this project, and just in general?? i used to primarily be a fic writer until 2018, when i decided to dabble in making my own characters. its always been bittersweet, bc my friends (all artists, never writers) would tell me to just make ocs instead of fanfic and my 12-14 yr old self would always be upset by that. so my characters never rlly came into their own so to speak

until This Year. ive been watching this rlly awesome youtuber named local script man. he's a screenwriter but a lot of his advice can apply to writing as well. i dont remember which video it was, but he talked abt how a characters' motivations can serve as fuel for smth deeper, like an insecurity for example. which THEN can serve as a backstory. and idky but it all clicked in my head?? character work became so much easier when i applied this to my process. i no longer had trouble w coming up w things that seemed to come naturally to most. bc i Know im good at fleshing out characters, i just needed to know how to do it for original work, even tho ive had friends praise my characters in the past

but yeah thats prob the best part of the story rn . im still having trouble w what their voices would sound like, speech patterns and the like, but thatd prob come around when i actually write the damn thing lol

BtSoyT - the idea itself has me so excited!!! ive been watching some horror movies, specifically recs from my friend @zebatverse hehe, and idk i feel like ive been getting more inspo and knowing what i'd wanna do if i were to write horror . i have several other ideas besides this in my notebook but this is one i wanna write the most. i even made a moodboard for it ^_^

[autisticpride]

April 10th: How important is representation to you? Is the representation that is out there generally good or bad? What is your favorite piece of representation? What you like to see more of in autism representation? What would you like to see less of?

representation is really important to us and we’ll end up going on a couple long rants about some of our favorites (under the cut) because we can, it’ll be real messy because theres at least 3 of us talking and im just about positive that people were blurry when writing shit out so sorry about that but that’s just how it is

for us, representation enables us to see people like us in stories. the other thing for us, not specific to autistic representation, is just that we tend to enjoy more diverse stories more? maybe we’ve just had good luck but we’ve found that stories with characters who are members of marginalized groups (whether the story itself is diverse or not) tend to be better written. maybe it’s because we generally prioritize ownvoices works, idk.

so first i wanted to take a look at some numbers regarding autistic characters we’re familiar with (yes we know there are more, we just have a focus on books in our brain) and we started with books & comics and got some interesting numbers that we weren’t expecting! we haven’t read all these books yet so there are some gaps in the information.

of the 10 characters (from 8 books and 1 webcomic):

5 are female, 4 are male, and 1 is nonbinary.  2 are black, 2 are white, 1 is mixed (surinamese/dutch), 1 is mixed (vietnamese/irish), 1 is mixed (fictional races). 9 (possibly all 10) are main characters 6 are over 21, 2 are under 12 (9 and 11), 1 is 16, 1 is 18 3 are straight, 3 are gay/lesbian, 1 is bi.

I think that’s very cool actually! we would like to see more trans autistic characters (the only trans character out of the 10 seems to be the 1 nonbinary character) for sure, and more explicitly canon autistic characters in general. i’d like to see less “autism representation” that isn’t actually canon (even though we do love some of the characters, if you have to go find an interview with a producer where they say probably in order to find out the character’s autistic, it’s not canon).

now time for our specialized little rambles!

so i’m going to start with another quick explanation of fictives again because it’s extremely relevant right now.

again, a system is multiple people in one body. individuals within a system are system members (there are many different terms, that’s what we prefer). fictives are system members who are/are based on/are versions of characters

i’m a fictive of danny becket from the webcomic sharp zero and honestly we all love sharp zero! it’s extra fun now because it’s one of the special interests we all share and it’s my source and i’m double autistic (system as a whole is autistic, and I was autistic to begin with) so i now have this intense special interest surrounding... myself??? anyway, sharp zero is great because

sharp zero doesn’t go “the autism one is pure and innocent <3″ sharp zero goes “the autism one drags a corpse through a magic portal to perform a ritual to resurrect him” and that’s pretty cool

also explicitly showing the use of stim toys!! tangle spotted

~Danny

I’m a fictive of Julian from Star Trek: Deep Space Nine and I’m one of the favorite cases of representation for most of the system, which is very interesting for me. In the show, it’s a case of unnamed disorder, which my parents tried to ‘fix’ via genetic engineering. I specifically matter to the system because of one particular parallel.

When I was a child, my parents noticed me ‘falling behind’ and decided to ‘fix’ me, and then proceeded to hide that information from me. When I was 15, I found out what they’d done, and began going by a different name.

When the body was a child, we were going to a neurologist for other reasons, and the parents were told that we’re most likely autistic but to not get a diagnosis ‘unless it gets in the way’. They proceeded to hide that information from us. When we were 15, we found out about that. Around the same time, the old host came out as trans and began using a different name.

That parallel is very important to most of our system members, especially the old host.

Despite it never being stated that I’m autistic, and it being implied that my parents may have succeeded in their attempt to ‘fix’ me, it’s clear from my behaviour that they didn’t. Even if they had, it was clearly shown that what they did was illegal and wrong, and that it did direct harm to me. But every autistic person we’ve met who has watched DS9 has taken one look at me and said something along the lines of that man’s a whole autism.

I’m shown having clear interpersonal issues, including trouble with social cues and clear implications that I never had friends before arriving on DS9. My own parents thought a half-finished hologram with no personality who didn’t recognize them was me.

I think that kind of representation is important. The kind where things did go wrong, where there has been suffering and loneliness, and it takes time, but a support system does get found.

-Julian

k now y’all need someone who isn’t just sorta talkin about themself i think, who fuckin knew i’d be the one who was giving the general system-wide opinion

so, rep is really important to all of us, seeing people who’re like us. makes us all feel like someone might actually understand it and understand us

our favorite autistic rep is probably julian, which is real fun with him being here and all that. and i mean it’s actually fun and we all get each other. the way our system works, the way we have a mostly-shared memory, means that we all really get it, and all of us relate to julian a lot in one way or another

anyway, a while back we started lookin’ for books with autistic rep by autistic authors and the first one we found was on the edge of gone by corinne duyvis, and we’ll always have a soft spot for it cuz it’s really good and it was the first one we got

-trip

[lollytea]

What are your opinions about Jungle cubs? I loved that show as a kid!

hi hello!! thank u for humoring me!! i love getting asks about the stuff im currently obsessed with that nobody really cares about, it makes me feel valid! also i dont have well constructed opinions, i just have a very messy, manic head so i just babble all my thoughts. for that i am sorry 

im not gonna say jungle cubs is the best damn cartoon to hit the tv and maybe its just my own biased love speaking when i call it a good show but it means a lot to me personally. it brought me comfort as a little kid, i came back to it as a teen when i was feeling very alone and came back to it again as an adult just cuz of my recent love of baloo and talespin and needing something to keep me upbeat during the quarantine. 

and ive watched quite a few cartoons i loved as a kid that i dont really vibe with anymore. i tried rewatching gummi bears. its not my thing. but jungle cubs is?? really good?? its just so charming to watch. i love the expressive animation, i love the smooth flowing dialogue, i love the playful and naive tone it has of just a bunch of kids being kids, i love the depiction of these characters, i love the performance of the voice actors, i love the layers it adds to the original film. layers that were never intended to be in there in the first place but isnt that just the beauty of interpretation and ones own imagination. 

its such a formulaic concept isnt it. to take a classic show/movie and make its protagonists babies for a spinoff. but i dunno, i always got the feeling that whoever was the backbone of this story actually cared about the characters they were writing and took a sincere approach to it. 

they thought in-depth about how to devolve them from their current personalities in a realistic way and what aspects of themselves are so core to their being that they would have been ingrained since childhood. the cubs feel pretty three-dimensional and considering theyre cash grab spinoff babies, that is an amazing feat.

but also, i love it for the very very very simple reason of its really adorable. bagheera especially. to see such a stoic and levelheaded character in his earliest stage as a child just Hits for me. cub bagheera is clever, hes cautious, hes a little stuck-up, all traits he has in the movie. hes also not the best hunter, doesnt know how to roar yet, is a little cowardly, sorta awkward at times and is often trying to prove that hes the best even though hes aware that he is nowhere near the best.

like its easy to believe the kind of person he grows up to be but at the same time, its really interesting to see the more childish aspects of himself that he eventually matured past. and hes adorable dude! baby bagheera voiced by EG Daily is the sweetest goddamn thing, i love him so much 

also shere khan who is a fuckin doozy. hes very interesting in this too. everything about his attitude is reminiscent of a preteen who says mean things to you on voice chat while playing overwatch but if you tell him you’re gonna call the police on him, he starts panicking. thats shere khan’s vibe, a real edgy little tiger who thinks hes hot shit cuz he probably caught something bigger than a mouse like one time and its gone to his head. 

hes constantly stalking around, subtly bragging about what a natural predator he is. but at the same time, he’s still around?? hes still hanging around with the other cubs cuz hes ALSO a cub and likes to play around with other kids his age. and he fucking loves his friends. the amount of times he’s scared off bigger animals who were about to harm them. and its really sweet cuz they like him too. while his attitude is definitely annoying sometimes, they still consider him their friend and enjoy his company. its just wholesome. 

plus hes also pretty vulnerable as hes a cub. he doesnt stand a chance when they come across a grown animal as a threat. he gets scared just like the rest of them, hes just so arrogant that he never admits it. 

in fact the appeal of the show in general to me, is the vulnerabilities of all the characters that comes with being in their most immature state. they dont know any better when it comes to stuff. this show is real dumbass hours 

EVERYTHING about baloo is just great. he does not change even slightly. he is exactly the same except hes little and his voice hasnt broke yet. his child voice is amazingly fitting also.

i mean i guess one thing that differentiates him is adult baloo had some semblance of a philosophy. he was wise....in a way. baby baloo does not know shit about shit. he does not think. he just vibes, okay?? i love him mwah

i dont have much to say about the others but i DO like this interpretation of them more than their adult selves. it also just feels bittersweet that they grew up to be such dicks. Haithi is lovely, i love that hes just out here TRYING to be a colonel but he lacks the authority that comes with being a grown elephant and he doesnt have the self confidence to command anybody yet. he is simply babey.

 louie is a very cute little dude, i love him and baloo as just an idiot squad. he also has a very good voice

kaa.....i dont trust. on one hand, hes very sweet as a child but on the OTHER HAND he grows up to be the creepiest fucking creation disney has ever put in a movie so that snake will always rub me the wrong way even when im trying to like him. 

also ONE THING thats driving me crazy about this show is like. it has the best depiction of pre-adolescent boys that i have ever seen in a cartoon ever. just the way they behave. theyre sweethearts one minute, extremely mean the next minute, going from building eachother up to lightly bullying eachother, lots of unprovoked play fighting, laughing over dumb shit, rude to strangers for no goddamn reason, theres just a lot. 

it fuckin knocked me back like 15 years cuz it reminded me so much of kids i used to play with. and these arent even human children whose brain development is documented, these are animals, this show had no business being this spot-on.

i dont like season 2. it has a few gems here and there that i get a kick out of. but as a whole, its really disappointing. since the show swapped production companies, they seemed to uproot it completely and start from scratch. and its kinda sad cuz i think they were TRYING to do something poignant when it came to a future narrative but it just didnt land. firstly there was a huge animation downgrade and looking at the two season in comparison is kinda depressing. 

also they redesigned the characters, some looked worse than others. baloo looked fine but i still preferred his og look. bagheera....was the worst. rip bagheera. 

they all underwent a huge personality change. and not in the way that showed subtle maturity, i mean a vapid exaggeration of their original personality. the only characters who were left relatively alone in this regard were baloo and kaa. and i dont mind gradually changing a character since there IS an adult version of them that they should be growing into. but the season 2 depictions are literally the furthest things from their adult selves that its unbelievable.

 another pet peeve is they changed a few of the voice actors and.....i love these season 2 voice actors in other work theyve done. dee bradley baker and cree summer specifically who are both very talented people. but they did not fit these roles in the slightest. (not to mention having cree summer play an APE and suddenly having her do a LOT of monkey noises that the previous va never had to do. im not gonna get into all that BUT hmm.) and if youre gonna recast the characters to make them sound “older” as least make them sound somewhat similar to the jungle book actors, so you can picture them eventually growing into those voices. 

also the tone shifted so much between seasons. the way they tried to make this jungle more of a “society” with shit like talent shows and sports games and celebrities and like fuckin. STOP. theyre animals. just let them be animals. along with that the writing just feels really off and its just. not fun. i dont like it 

and as i mentioned, they WERE trying to do something here. the fact that the cubs didnt hang out with eachother as much and were starting to drift apart is kinda sad and wouldve liked it see it handled a little better. but instead i got season 2, which was stupid. and im 21 and im petty. 

anyway i am very sorry that ended so negatively and im very sorry that rant was completely all over the place i have no sense of proper organization i just wanted to gush about what i love. but on a positive note i love jungle cubs!! its very dear to my heart and makes me very happy and i wish it had gotten more episodes

[spidercrimes]

if it's not too much to write, how about All even numbers for the OC asks for either character of your choice! or both if you're feelin wild whatever works : ]

wheezes this took so long but im finally done holy shit

2. Do they have any titles? How did they get them?

Echo doesn’t have any official titles, and isn’t really planning on getting any, unless Champion of Sune counts?

4. What is their relationship with their parents? What’s a good and bad memory with them? Did they know both parents?

Echo has a very good relationship with her moms! To their knowledge, things were a bit tense after leaving Ivydome, but plenty of letters and visiting when they could helped with smoothing over their relationship. A good memory would be when her moms taught Echo how to bake! They can really only bake cupcakes and cookies but theyre like. Hella good ones. They dont really have any bad memories with/of their parents, since like. They will forcibly forget or repress anything that upsets them, as long as it only affected them. If the memory is something bad that affected others it will linger for however long Echo deems necessary(read: an extremely long time)

6. What were they like at school? Did they enjoy it? Did they finish? What level of higher education did they reach? What subjects did they enjoy? Which did they hate?

They were there and graduated fantasy high school what more do you want from them jkdxxjndk.  They started working at the local sweets shop after school, so no higher level of education here! They like history a bit, but that’s about it tbh!

8. Did they have pets as a child? Do they have pets as an adult? Do they like animals?

Yes! Echo had a pet cat back at Ivydome with her moms, and before the campaign she didn’t really have the money to keep another, so they settled for feeding and playing with the stray cats in Summervale.

10. Do they like children? Do children like them? Do they have or want any children? What would they be like as a parent? Or as a godparent/babysitter/ect?

Hmmm, Echo doesn’t mind children?? but there’s only so long they can be around them before she gets overwhelmed. Children like them well enough since Echo is always up for playing songs or messing around with cantrips. Echo would be the fun parent/godparent/babysitter, but. Please dont make them look after children they dont want any.

12. What is their favourite food?

Give my child spicy noodles or give him death

14. Do they have any specific memories of food/a restaurant/meal?

Their first cake made without supervision was. A disaster to put it lightly since someone was feeling ambitious.(it turned out like rubber and after that he was too flustered n frustrated to focus so everything else turned out badly too) So they dont bother with that anymore! Cake mistakes who i dont know her sdkjjkdbs. So half the time they pass by anything with some type of airy sponge cake they cringe lololol

16. Do they collect anything? What do they do with it? Where do they keep it?

She had a rock and shiny things collection back at Summervale! They’re mostly for decoration, although some with certain textures are used for stimming. Some rocks are kept on shelves, but most are stored in cool jars to save space

18. What’s their favourite genre of: books, music, tv shows, films, video games and anything else

Echo is a sucker for romance novels and fun, upbeat music! Idk if video games, films, or video games exist in-universe, but if they did, they’d like dramas and baking shows, rpgs, and more character focused games like nitw

20. Do they like musicals? Music in general? What do they do when they’re favourite song comes?

They love music, and they’d like musicals too! They will grab their lute and play along if their favorite song came on, and if nobody was around then maybe they’d sing too. Maybe. 

22. What are their favourite insults to use? What do they insult people for? Or do they prefer to bitch behind someone’s back?

tbh their go-to insult is calling someone a prick or a bastard, and it’s usually for whenever someone’s done something particularly scummy. Or if someone is just. The Absolute Worst. It’s a leftover habit from when they used to live in Ivydome, but Echo usually sticks to talking shit when the target is. Very far away/not in the area.

24. What is their sleeping pattern like? Do they snore? What do they like to sleep on? A soft or hard mattress?

They try and get around six hours, to varying success, and to their knowledge they dont snore! Echo loves soft things and would prefer to sleep on a soft mattress with So Many blankets and pillows and maybe a cuddle buddy

26. How do they act when they’re happy? Do they sing? Dance? Hum? Or do they hide their emotions?

Fun fact echo does a tounge blep when she’s happy!! They tend to do lil happy claps and bounce up and down in place when they’re really excited, but when it’s a more calm-type of happy he purrs loudly and smiles a lot more than usual! 

28. What is their biggest fear? What in general scares them? How do they act when they’re scared?

He’s claustrophobic and is terrified of being alone again or having to leave people behind even when the situation calls for it. So like. He aint copin too well after the last session! They get very flustered and panicked and freeze when theyre scared

30. Do they exercise? Regularly? Or only when forced? What do they act like pre-work out and post-work out?

Does going on champion quests and running from his problems count as exercise or???

32. What do they dress like? What sorta shops do they buy clothes from? Do they wear the fashion that they like? What do they wear to sleep? Do they wear makeup? What’s their hair like?

Crop tops with long sleeves, shorts, and boots make up most of their wardrobe and they love it. Theyd go to like the fantasy equivalent of marshalls i think? Somewhere with good deals and a lot of options. Overlarge shirts, tank top crop tops, and more shorts make up their pjs. They dont really wear makeup, mostly bc they touch their face a lot and it feels weird the whole time, but they wouldnt be opposed to wear a lil bit every now and then! Their hair is floofy and a bit of a controlled mess since they cut it themselves

34. What is their body type? How tall are they? Do they like their body?

Echo is 5’9”/ 175.26 cm! Theyre on the average side i think? Like theyre not super skinny but not fat either so just. Avergae. And yeah, Echo likes their body, theyre so bright! And their horns are so cute and having a tail is very handy and claw maintenance can be a bit of a pain but like. Aesthetic am i right folks

36. What are they good at? What hobbies do they like? Can they sing?

Hes good at playing the lute and generally being very cute and giving out good vibes, and he likes baking and playing music! They can sing, but really only do that when theyre playing their lute ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

38. What do they admire in others? What talents do they wish they had?

Echo admires passion and creativity the most, and dont let anyone from the party know but he wishes he could be just. A bit smarter and know what to say + ask. Theyd also really like to be able to make a decent genoise sponge too like theyre not picky

40. Do they like energy drinks? Coffee? Sugary food? Or can they naturally stay awake and alert?

Theyre a tea drinker all the way, and arent the biggest fan of sweet things. He used to use more tart or mellow flavors when baking. They def arent alert after being tired for a while, and will space out a bit

42. What are their goals? What would they sacrifice anything for? What is their secret ambition?

No secret ambitions here, Echo is an open book(unless they roll high on deception dvdjxb)! Becoming Sune’s champion, making a decent sponge cake, and protecting his friends with his life/in any way they can are all their current goals. Echo doesn’t care too much if they get hurt, so physical well-being and maybe mental are things they wouldn't mind sacrificing, but as a whole they don’t really want to think about what they’d have to give up. He’ll burn that bridge when he gets to it. 

44. What is their favourite season? Type of weather? Are they good in the cold or the heat? What weather do they complain in the most?

If its cold, wet, or humid echo is not a happy camper lol. They prefer summer and the beginning of fall the most, and sunny days with lots of puffy white clouds are the best! They think its fun watching the clouds shadows on the ground. They’re better in hot weather than cold, since clothes for that type of weather are easier to dress for and they dont have to account for their tail or horns as much

46. Do they make a good first impression? Does their first impression reflect them accurately? How do they introduce themselves?

God i hope they make a good first impression im dying over here xjkxdk but honestly it depends! They try to make a good first impression and i think they usually do? But if theyve just finished with a job w the gang or theyre just. So tired they wont really introduce themselves at all.  Its pretty accurate of how they are, and their go-to greeting is “I’m Echo Barquiel, a pleasure to meet you dearie~” 

48. Do they enjoy any parties? If so what kind? Do they organise the party or just turn up? How do they act? What if they didn’t want to go but were dragged along by a friend?

In theory they’d like parties but being around so many people with that much noise for an unknown amount of time would not be. Ideal so smaller get-togethers with friends would be the most enjoyable! Echo doesnt really have the uh, space to host anything so theyd just turn up to other’s parties. Theyd be in a constant state of switching between ‘holy shit im so gay’ and ‘oh my god theres so many people/internal screaming’. If they were dragged to a party, theyd mingle for a leelte bit before stepping out

50. If they could only take one bag of stuff somewhere with them: what would they pack? What do they consider their essentials?

A bedroll, waterskin, food supplies, rope, knives, a lute, matches, money- yknow regular survival stuff!

[brokentoothmarch]

20 21 and 22 ^_^

20. a piece from this year that you're really proud of

THIS ONE PROBS There are def others i would Pick out bcs it was Rly Difficult to Choose jst "One" im Proudest of bcs i Metric them on Totally diff Scales but Like.....This ones by Far the "Flashiest" or Most "Colorful" tho its Not the Reason i Picked it fr Here. Was in a Lot of Agony over the Concept im Trying to Depict here (Ironically, abt Art itself) nd i Rly liked how it Came out an Artists Best Goal is fr their Own Creation to Come to Life nd Murder Them nd Completely Supersede their Own Self (Thumbs up) (Or smthn like it)

21. something you would like to improve on

DEFINITELY COMPOSITIONS Jst in general using "Props" in the Img or Actively Thinking abt like Themes or Motifs or Symbolism i could Place in there....Not to Say Necessarily i was "Bad" at it before bt like i Feel Making an Actual Concentrated nd Conscious Effort to Improve on it has Changed my Art fr the better i feel...

like Characters who are jst Posing or Standing in a Simple Art is Fine bt im Moreso Thinking now abt stuff like "If theyre posed this way, what does this say abt them" "Is Smthn forcing them to pose this way or otherwise" etc. etc. nd Gnna be Real ive Always been a Sucker fr imagery nd Patterns in Jst abt Evrythn. Again i Like to think im getting better at it slowly :::)

22. what inspires you

Ok this is Gnna sound So fucking like....Up the ass self centered am AWARE but like fr th Most part its my Own Feelings or Things in my life or Concepts / Stuff etc. tht are Vry Special to me in a Personal way. i Honestly end up feeling like theres No Way to place Myself Out of my art bcs So Much of it Ends up Getting in there Whether i Like it or not its like Impossible Not to (like a Faucet tht Wont stop leaking) nd ive Felt Sm ways abt it before (esp when smthn includes so Much of yrself, if you Hate Your Self then what then yknow. Wondering smtimes if this sorta thing is "soulless") bt i Suppose i Approach it frm a Similar Angle as in Writing Poetry...

i could Light up a Statue frm Different Angles nd the Shadows could All look different bt im Not Revealing wht the Statue actually Looks like. nd Wondering abt wht the Statue Is, i feel, is missing the point bcs its what you gain frm the imprints left behind from it.....nd i Guess this is Speaking a Lot more Generally abt the Stories tht i Write nd etc. nd this question was abt Art so Oops. i Draw like im Trying to Stem a Wound tht wont stop bleeding honestly its Almost Always a Feeling tht i Feel i Need to express, Unintelligable if put into words. So theres that...

Also i Hv Fucked up dreams nd Smtimes they Give me Good Ideas. Dreams jst in general are important to me nd One Day id Like to Capture sm Specific Feelings the More Memorable ones hv given me, smhow

SORRY if this sounds Pretentious as fuck Yknow how it is w spaghetti i Wish i could hv smthn to Append Onto this post but ive Got like Nothing except this Little Pixel i made in my first attempt at Aseprite so take it

[jesliey]

Character Design Questions that i really just wanted to do because they looked fun

Tagged By: No one. I do what I want.

Most of my characters started in D&D but ill list em all for context:

 Aliphos Gardwin, effectively ex-military Ranger from a what is now a frozen wasteland. Hes like a puppy in my eyes.

Anastasia Shepard, actual military. From my ME binge days. Probably the only one who’ll ever have an actual solid visual depiction

Alistair Shepard, twin brother to Ana. Technically not my character, but he punches things and hes such a dick i love it.

Unit 2038, mass produced celestial war machine with severely stunted emotional development. Had a REALLY long nap a while ago.

Firo Schwartzstein Avanezo, sleazy brat who likes to pickpocket and flirt. Closer inspection might catch a glimpse of some of that old money in his blood though.

Morgenstern, funny how dying from several impalement wounds makes a demonic deal for vengeance seem like a good idea. Might know Aliphos eventually im still pondering that...

Sacha Julian N’Doul, THE RICH PRETTYBOY IS JUST HERE TO HAVE A GOOD TIME

THIS IS REALLY LONG SO UNDER THE CUT IT GOES!

Who’s the oldest character of yours that you still use?

oh man i dont really use them as much as id want to...im not a great writer so i dont really do anything with any of them until something comes up like a d&d game for instance. Id still use all of them given the chance.

Aliphos is the one i can always fall back to though, ive had him the longest

Who’s the oldest character of yours, defunct or not?

Im gonna go ahead and assume this means physically. Pretty sure its Unit...either Unit or Firo. Ones a robot, and the other doesnt age, but i dont exactly remember whos older...

Pretty sure its Unit

Has creating a character ever made you realize something about yourself?

There hasnt been a “realization” per se...

Each character ive made has been some kind of manifestation of what i was feeling creatively at the time, with the exception of Aliphos. Hes straight up my first character who i made not realizing how self-inserty he was all the way back in grade 9 of highschool.

Any minor characters that have either taken over or branched off into their own stories?

See now this ones a bit more interesting because i didnt really have a side character until very recently. Sacha is a backup character for the wandering mess that is the party Morgenstern belongs to, and he acts as chief sponsor after they saved him from bandits. He isnt SUPPOSED to come into the spotlight of the adventure, but he will if Morgen becomes otherwise unavailable

Do you prefer to make human, animal, monster, or _____ characters? Why?

Well i mean “human” is very loosely defined here but yeah. These are characters i know and relate to best and im not a furry, so “human” it is!

ignoring the fact that only four of them are actual humans, and one of those four isnt even mine

When creating a character, do you come up with the visual concept or the written concept first?

written concepts, easily. when im sitting down trying to make a new brain-child theres a list of questions that goes through my head to get a better idea of what im going for.

where did they come from? what is the most important thing that has happened to them this far? how do they react to waking up on just a regular day? what is the most common thing they feel both physically and mentally? how do they handle being in a group of other similarly skilled people?

i find that answering just these gives me a better idea of what im working with than trying to get a picture going before having at it

Do you have characters that you know you’ll never use, but can’t bear to get rid of/recycle?

Im honestly having a hard time envisioning using Ana anywhere. shes a bit of an alcoholic downer, and she doesnt play well with others. Morgen doesnt either, but hes currently in use and even then i have to creatively stretch his personality quite a bit just to keep things rolling

i dont like the idea of just getting rid of characters though. a few of them have died. multiple times in some cases. continuities are a thing that doesnt really exist for me, but it is hard to find a scenario where those two in particular would click in well

Is there a character that embodies your good traits, or traits you wish you had?

Aliphos is generally up-beat most of the time, and Firo and Sacha love a good time more than anything else. in general, theyre my more happy characters and i like holding onto that.

Is there a character that embodies your bad traits? Several characters? Which ones and what traits?

Ana and Morgen are definitely some pretty negative characters at their cores. Morgen less so simply because i felt like i was in a bit of a creative rut and i wanted to try something new, but Anastasia came around back at the end of highschool during the Depression Years™ and it shows...

Morgens definitive characteristics are nonchalant detachment and disdain and anger, where Ana is a depressed alcoholic with a death complex. Theres nothing happy here.

Is there a character that explores your interests or fetishes (orrrr is that just all of you characters)?

The most interesting things i can do with my characters is something that i think is unexpected of myself. I had Ali for YEARS before i tried making another character, and while it was fun making a new one, she boiled down to a drunk depressed version of what came before. The more varied and exploratory i can get with my characters the better. 

One of my best experiences with a character was developing Unit. I played out the inner conflict of realizing you are able to take a hold of personal freedom now that you know you can have it while simultaneously not wanting to because youre still holding onto the faith that the higher powers know whats best and you should still be awaiting further instruction. those instructions would never come, and Unit is just another forgotten soldier stuck fighting the war, but it was SO MUCH FUN to play out the moral dilemma and ponder the philosophy! that was such a new experience for me, and i loved it! so i made a point to try and spice it up with whatever i try and make next

If you have characters that embody certain traits of yours—good or bad—has writing them changed how you view those traits? Has it affected you in any way?

In truth? not particularly. i just sorta vomit ideas out onto my characters and whatever sticks sticks. i pay no real mind as to what those ideas mean. its just fun to me.

Do you fantasize about being any of your characters, or are you more detached?

Oh there is no way i can play a character and stay detached...

When im in it? Im in it.

Do you create playlists for your characters?

HELL YEAH I DO. SPOTIFY iS A BEAUTIFUL THiNG.

When writing for specific characters, is there anything you have to do to get into the right mindset?

I will ask myself all the same questions from above as when i come up with the character design, i listen to their playlist if i made one yet, and i picture whatever it was that they just got through experiencing.

a quick crash course refresher on how this character ticks.

Which character is your guilty pleasure?

Oh Sacha easily....hes the first character i think ive made where his entire backstory is hes from a rich family and he likes to try new things. Theres no intricacy here, hes just a simple start to a character and hes fon loving. Hes super refreshing to play around with.

Is there a character of yours who’s a real struggle to write/draw? Why do you think that is?

Award for hardest to work with is probably going to Firo. I just wasnt as invested into making him as i have been for other characters. When i think of characters id like to play around with, hed be on the bottom of the list purely because he has the least amount of my interest

Which character is the easiest to draw/write?

The self insert. Next question.

Is there anything you really wish you could do, character-design-wise, that you feel is outside your current skillset? A concept that you wish you could pull off but are uncertain about?

BRO LITERALLY EVERYTHING. I love coming up with the concepts and flushing them out as i go along, but i am not the greatest at writing and they all just sorta stay in my head. also i cant draw. its a bad time for everyone involved.

What’s more important to you: visual design, unique personality, a trendy character aesthetic, etc? If you’re not sure, then what’s the first thing you usually nail down in a character?

well the first thing i always nail down when i think id like to entertain the thought of a character is their origin. so in a way i guess the aesthetic? though as i said above i like to keep things anything but trendy

Do you ever plan to do anything (comic, animation, etc) with your characters? Or are you just happy to have them?

dude i would love to make something big out of my characters! the problem becomes then that i would need someone who is as in sync with how i perceive my characters to be artistically inclined with, because god knows i cant do shit out here. until that day arises? in my head they stay.