#i fucking love angst Marlie

[phantomss-pain]

Prompt from @connectionterminated13 is done so here it is.

Death Swap prompt

It was Midnight before Charlie finally got up from her bed and grabbed the basement door key that was alone in her top drawer. Though before she went down to the basement Charlie quietly checked around the house for something or more accurately someone.

Since moving from her old apartment and into this new bigger house Charlie had begun double checking every inch of the property. She didn’t use to be like this but recently there was something that Charlie needed to protect and she knew there was someone that threatened what she held so dearly to her.

Sighing as she did Charlie quickly checked all the security cameras that surrounded the house with there thankfully being no signs of anyone being on her property. After that Charlie quietly walked around the house and went to one of the other bedrooms where her roommates rested.

Opening the door Charlie saw that her roommates Elizabeth and her girlfriend Susie were happily sleeping with Susie’s dog Sunday on the bed as well. Charlie couldn’t help but smile slightly before closing the door.

After another check with the security cameras Charlie went to the basement door and unlocked the door. The moment when she opened the door Charlie could immediately hear the sound of wires scurrying around in the basement.

“Michael, it’s me.” Charlie gently called out. “You don’t have to be worried.”

The shuffling stopped before a robotic voice croaked out in response.

“Charlie?” The voice asked, its tone filled with caution.

“Yes Michael it’s me.” Charlie repeated as she turned on one of the basement lights so she had some bit of light. “You don’t have to worry about anything.”

As she walked down the stairs she tried to examine the basement to try and find where Michael was but there was no sight of him. The basement was basically a bedroom as there was a bed, a closet and some drawers. There was a reason for this. That reason being that the basement belonged to the one thing that Charlie swore to protect to her dying breath.

Her old friend Michael Afton.

‘Oh Michael.’ Charlie thought to herself. She knew that Michael was hiding from her. Probably worried that it wasn’t actually her and instead an imposter. She couldn’t blame him especially with the horrors that he had to deal with for several years.

Looking around the room Charlie noticed that the closet was slightly open.

“Mikey you don’t have to hide from me.” Charlie gently said.

“If you’re Charlie then tell me what was the first movie we went to when we first started dating?” Michael asked.

“A Nightmare on Elm Street 2 Freddy’s Revenge.” Charlie replied with a small smile forming on her face as the memories of their small date began to surface. “I remember we both ranted about how the film completely messed up how Freddy works.”

She chuckled at the memory. “I even remember that I apologized to you for apparently wasting your time with that film and you just kissed me to shut me up saying that you did enjoy the film but it wasn’t as good as the first one.”

Before she realized it Charlie felt a few tears forming on her face. Quickly she whipped them away just as Michael crawled out from under the bed. His metal

“You still remember that?” Michael asked, sitting back on the bed.

Charlie just smiled at the robot. “I can’t forget that experience. Not after you ‘accidentally’ spilled some of your soda onto Nicole’s hair after she made rude remarks about me.”

Through his robot mask Charlie could see a small tiny smile quickly form on his face before it just as quickly disappeared.

“She deserved it.” Michael mumbled.

“Yeah she did.” Charlie replied.

There was an awkward silence before Charlie eventually moved towards the bed and sat down next to Michael. The pair sat in silence again but Michael broke the silence.

“Charlie, why are you here?” He asked.

Charlie turned her head to look at Michael. “Because I want to talk to you about something.”

“What’s that?”

“How would you feel if I built you a robotic human body?” Charlie asked, her hand slowly moved over to Michael’s knees. “How does that sound?”

There was a pause. Michael was obviously debating it in his mind but it wasn’t long before Michael answered the question.

“No.”

Charlie had to do a double take at that answer. “What do you mean no?”

“Don’t bother with it.” Michael replied. “I don’t deserve it.”

“What do you mean you don’t deserve it?” Charlie asked again.

“Because I’m a monster.” Michael continued. “I’ve killed so many people. So many innocent kids I’ve just slaughtered…”

“But that wasn’t your doing.” Charlie interrupted. “That was Baby’s programming and you had no control over it.”

“But I still did it!” Michael shouted standing up from the bed making Charlie flinch at his outburst. “I still killed them. I still brought them to a fucking torture chamber and sent them insane! I even killed my own sister and turned her into a zombie.”

Michael fell down to his knees collapsing under the weight of what he had done. “I don’t deserve to get this chance at disguising myself as a human when I’ve done so many horrible things.”

If Michael could cry Charlie knew he would be in tears at the moment. Not that she would blame him. He had witnessed so many horrors and against his own will took part in them.

It was hard for Charlie to see him like this. When he was alive Michael was the most confident person she knew. Nothing would or could bring him down. It was part of the reason for why she loved him so much. If she was down or too busy wallowing in her survivors guilt about Sammy or her friends Michael would always pick her up.

So seeing him on his knees cursing himself for stuff that was out of his control hurt Charlie in more ways than she could describe.

“Michael.” Charlie softly said as she slid down to her knees to become level with Michael. “You aren’t a monster.”

“Why do you keep saying that?” Michael asked. “Why do you even care? You probably have a boyfriend and that’s more important than me.”

Charlie couldn’t help herself but chuckle at the comment. “Do you really think that I could get a boyfriend and abandon you?”

“Yeah.” Michael replied, sounding like a hurt child.

“You really overestimate me that much.” Charlie joked.

“What do you mean?”

“Michael, even if I had a boyfriend I would still try and help you.” Charlie continued.

“But look at me.” Michael replied pulling down the hood that covered his face showing all the wiring and the mask. “Why waste your time on me.”

“Because I made a promise to you.” Charlie said, her tone was still soft but it was very serious all the same. “I made a promise that no matter what I would look after you and Elizabeth. I failed you once and I’m not going to fail you again.”

“But-“

“No buts Michael. I will help you no matter what and that’s a promise.”

There was another pause where the two just stared at each before Michael tackled Charlie into a hug and embraced her.

“Do you understand now?” Charlie whispered as she hugged him back.

“Slightly.” Michael replied back, making Charlie smile.

“That’s a start.” Charlie said, pulling away from the hug and gave Michael a little kiss on the top of his mask. “Do you want to rest now?”

“As in… sharing the same bed together?” Michael asked.

“Don’t make it weird you doofus.” Charlie laughed as she took off her jacket. “We can just cuddle together and maybe we can fall asleep together like old times.”

“Yeah cuddles sound good.” Michael softly replied.

The two both went under the covers of the bed with Charlie snuggling up to Michael who didn’t know what to do.

The pair just laid there in silence embracing each other like they had before back when they were teenagers. It wasn’t long after that Charlie closed her eyes and fell asleep having the greatest nights rest that she had experienced in many many years.

[vanfleeter]

Bound For Earth: Chapter 5

Characters: Jake Kiszka, Josh Kiszka, Sam Kiszka, Daniel Wagner, Marlie Warnings: 18+ || Language. Angst. Physical violence. Mentions of guns. Lies. Yelling. Anger. Resentment. Jealousy. Fluff. Brother banter. Family affairs. Jake receives a gift. Smut. Loss of virginity. Fingering. Oral sex (m & f receiving). Penetrative sex.

Bound For Earth Masterlist

I am not leaving this planet because of a bullet.

“You think, for one second, that I believed you?” Sam says from behind me. He laughs and slowly walks around me with a gun still pointed at me. “The two of you just happen to randomly show up here, claiming to somehow be my long lost brothers who were born on Mars? Ha! How stupid do you think I am?”

“Well, to be fair, we don’t know much about you.” Josh says from somewhere behind me. I hear a scuffle and him groaning.

“Did I give you permission to talk?” Sam says as he turns his head slightly to look at Josh. “Maybe you should have done more research..”

“Sam, please..” I plead. “Everything we’ve told so far is the truth.”

“Oh yeah?” He says as he snatches Danny’s phone from my hand. “Then who did you call?”

“A friend..”

“Oh..” He chuckles. “A friend.. Jakey boy has a friend.. Who the hell would want to be friends with a boy on Mars?” I watch him as he types in Danny’s passcode and taps a few times before lifting the phone to his ear. “Oh hello..” He sneers when she answers. “No, I’m sorry Jake is a little…busy.. Oh, you’re coming here? Wonderful.. Then I guess I’ll get to meet his friend too.” He hangs up and tosses the phone back to Danny before stepping up close to me. “Still lying to me, Jake. Your ‘friend’ is a girl. You’re so pathetic for thinking anyone would ever fall in love with an alien.”

I clench my jaw and tighten my fists into balls at my sides. “You touch her and I will-”

“What?” He smiles. “Kill me? I’d like to see you try.. You’re from Mars, and Mars is hell of a lot different from Earth. You’d be in for a rude awakening.” He starts to turn around and lowering the gun, but he doubles back and throws his fist into my abdomen. I doubled over in pain, falling to the floor on both my hands and knees.

“Call..Mom..” I cough out. “She’ll tell you..everything..”

“You think I’d believe anything that comes out of her mouth? She left me! She does every fucking year!” He scoffs. “And I just supposed to believe that she kept you two a secret my whole life?!”

“Then ask Dad..” I go to lift my head and he grabs a chunk of my hair in his fist and pulls me back. I fumble backwards, nearly falling over. “He’ll tell you the truth.. Mom called him..when we left on the cruiser.. She told us he was out of town and he took you with him.. But she lied.. He’s been here the whole time.. He never left.. So ask him..”

Sam drops me to the floor and I hear him lock the safety on the gun. “Tie ‘em up,” He says to Danny. “And when she gets here? Let her come to him. I’m going to have a little fun with her.”

Josh and I were tied back to back and left on the floor. This was not how I thought this was going to go. Our brother is a psycho.

“I’m sorry..” Josh says.

“Sorry for what?”

“Bringing us here.. I just wanted to see Dad..”

“I know you did..”

“And now look at us.. We’re tied up in his living room because our little brother is deranged.. Who does he think we are?”

“Not who we claim to be.. Apparently.. Texas is truly living up to its name..”

“This isn’t a fucking,” Josh struggles against the bindings and huffs. “Wild, wild west movie.. This is bullshit.”

The front door opens and I look over to see Marlie. When she turns towards us, her eyes grow wide and she quickly runs over. “What happened to you two?”

“Doesn’t matter,” I say. “You need to leave.”

“What? No!”

“Marlie, please listen to me.. You need to leave.. Sam is a fucking psycho.. He doesn’t believe we are who we say we are and he’s going to–”

“Well well well..” Sam steps into the room and crosses his arms over his chest. “You must be Jakey’s “friend”.”

“What are you doing?”

“Trying to find out the truth.”

“Sam-”

“Ah!” He narrows his eyes at Marlie. “How do you know my name?”

“Jake’s told me about you. He told me that you’re his brother, a brother they never knew about until recently..” She slowly stands back to her feet. “Sam, they are who they say they are. Your parents kept you all a secret from each other for whatever fucked up reason, but you have to believe them. They came to see your father and Jake only wants to experience Earth like a normal person.”

“And how can I believe you?”

Marlie reaches inside the back of her jacket and withdraws a gun. What the hell? She points it at Sam. Sam immediately raises his hands.

“Woah.. I wasn’t going to kill them.”

“Then I suggest you untie them..” She says. “And we can figure this out like adults..”

When Sam unties us and we get to our feet, Josh pulls me off to the side. “Who the hell did you meet?” I shrug my shoulders. Over the course of a year, I never really talked in depth with her about her life outside of the basics. I didn’t know what she did for a living but judging by the gun, it has to be dangerous. Regardless.. Seeing her with a gun definitely made me feel some type of way.

“Were guns really necessary?” Josh asks as he rubs his wrists.

“We are in Texas,” Sam says. “Always have to be prepared.”

“For what? We literally just came here from a different planet. We don’t have weapons!” Josh exclaims. “We barely even know how to fucking walk because this gravity is so damn heavy! And you think we’re just going to come charging in here like we’re some secret agent? Do y’all even do that anymore?”

“Well what else was I supposed to do?”

“Gee, I don’t know,” Josh says, slapping his hands against his thighs. “Don't tie us up! And certainly not threaten us with a gun! I didn’t know we were supposed to act like outlaws or else we would have come better equipped.”

“Believe it or not, they are your brothers.” Marlie says. “Your parents definitely have a lot of explaining to do.”

“But before we get to that, can we please get something to eat?” Josh asks. “I’m starving and I really want to try waffles.”

Marlie giggles and pats his shoulder. “I know the perfect place to get your waffles. Care to join us, Sam?”

“Oh uh.. Sure, I guess.”

As we head out of the house, my body slightly aching still, I stop Marlie at the bottom of the front porch. “Why do you have a gun?”

“Daddy always told me that you always have to have your saving grace with you, just in case.”

“You’re not a secret agent or something dangerous, are you?”

Marlie smiles and shakes her head. “Nope.. Just a regular old lawyer.” She says. “Why? Were you hoping I’d be a spy or something?”

“No.. But seeing you with that gun definitely made me feel something.”

“Oh yeah?” She draws me in close and presses her lips to mine.

Holy shit.. Her lips feel so soft. I never wanted to part. Instinctively, I grabbed her waist and pulled her closer to me. She is so completely real and she feels so warm against my body. I start to move my hand up underneath her shirt, feeling her soft skin when the car horn blares making us pull apart.

“Hey! Not in the driveway! Quit being nasty!” Josh shouts from the backseat window. “Y’all can do that later! I want my waffles!”

“Is he always like that?” She asks.

“Uptight and demanding? Oh yeah..” I chuckle. Giving her a quick peck on her lips, we head down to the car.

–

“Again I’m really sorry,” Danny says to Josh. “We’ve kind of learned from a young age on using violence when we need to.”

“Well we were not,” Josh says. “Frankly our mom kept us from anything that would incite violence.. Although sometimes we do get into quite the scuffle,” He says as he smirks at me. “Jake, how many times have I pinned you?”

“I’ve lost count..”

Josh chuckles and stabs his fork into another piece of his waffle and takes a bite. “Fuck these are so good..” He mumbles through his mouthful.

“So you really don’t have this kind of food up there?” Sam asks. “Is it the freeze dried crap?”

I shake my head and take another drink of the orange juice that Josh was so adamant about trying and then realizing just how much he hates it. So now I’m stuck with it. “We mainly eat vegetables..”

“And it’s good to eat something that isn’t green..or orange..” Josh says as he continues shoveling waffles into his mouth.

“They figured out how to grow vegetables, so that’s mostly our food sources. Sometimes we’ll get lucky and they’ll bring up bacon but aside from that, we don’t have any of this up there. Milk is a rarity. Seems you can only get in on the cruiser and down here.”

“That milk was gross too,” Josh grimaces.

“Which kind was it?” Danny asks.

“I think the label said “Skim” or something,” He shrugs his shoulders.

“Skim milk is disgusting.” Danny chuckles. “They make you drink it?”

“Well we aren’t forced to but I mean, there isn’t much else to drink besides water and even that gets tiring after a while.” I say.

Sam’s phone beeps on the table and he picks it up. “It’s dad.. Says he’ll be home soon. We should head back.”

“He doesn’t own a gun too, does he?” Josh asks.

“Yeah..” Sam says.

“Oh wonderful..” Josh rolls his eyes. “Maybe I should get one.”

“No!” Sam and I both exclaim.

Josh scoffs and rolls his eyes, “Well fine.. I need a box, I want to take the rest of this with me.”

“You’re still hungry?” Danny chuckles.

“Like we said.. We grew up on nothing but vegetables.” Josh says. “This is a fucking dream come true.”

I can help but laugh from my corner of the table. Marlie offers to pay and soon the five of us are headed back to the house. Time to face the music.

Quite literally.

Music is blasting from the surround sound system that’s hooked up around the house. According to Sam it was all installed when he was still in high school. It made for great house parties.

“Dad?” Sam calls out over the music. “Dad!”

“Kitchen!” He calls back. “I thought I’d cook up some steaks for dinner tonight! And then for dessert we could have that cherry pie that Darlene baked yesterday!”

Sam walks over to the stereo system along the wall in the sitting room and rotates the dial and the music softens. “Dad, that all sounds great, but do we have enough for six people?”

“Six?” He turns away from slathering stuff on a bunch of meat cuts. “Oh my god..” He says when his eyes land on Josh and I. “You’re.. You’re here.. I thought your mom was bullshitting me..” He quickly washes his hands off and rushes over to us and pulls us both into a hug. “Gosh it feels so good to finally hug you both.”

“Dad, loosen up a bit,” Sam says. “You’re crushing them.”

“They ain’t used to this.” Danny chuckles.

“Oh you’re one to speak,” Dad says when he pulls away. “By the way,” He stretches out his hand to Sam. “Hand it over..” Sam sighs and pulls the gun out from the back of his pants and lays it in Dad’s hands. “Were you trying to be intimidating?”

“Yes.. And it worked.”

“That is until Marlie came in,” Danny says. “Thought Sam was going to piss himself, he wasn’t expecting it.”

“Shut up asshole.” Sam says as he shoves Danny.

“Who’s Marlie?” Dad asks.

Marlie raises her hand and I wrap my arm around her. “Dad, meet Marlie. My girlfriend.”

“Woah, slow down. Girlfriend? Your mom never mentioned a girlfriend.”

“Well, she doesn’t know either.” I say.

“And how long..”

“We met in an online class,” Marlie says. “We were paired to write a report on how soundwaves work. Only took six months to finally know he really was,” She giggles.

“Six months?” Sam questions. “What?”

“There isn’t exactly an instruction manual on how to tell someone you were born on a different planet.” I say. “It’s not like I live in Ohio.”

“I sure hope you don’t,” Danny says with a chuckle.

“Do you have a special someone I should know about, Josh?” Dad asks.

“Nope,” He says. “Just these waffles.”

“I bet your mother isn’t happy about the two of you being down here,” Dad says as he goes back to rubbing stuff onto the raw meat. That sounded wrong..

“She’s so pissed,” Josh chuckles. “She ordered Headquarters to keep us locked up there until the next transport back to Mars.”

“I see that didn’t really work out,” Dad chuckles.

“Apparently Josh decided to be the sneaky one,” Jake says. “He still has yet to explain how he figured it all out.”

“Air ducts,” Josh mumbles around more waffles. “I crawled through them until I found the right passage and then I learned the patterns of the guards and knew when they'd switch and how long it takes before the new ones show up.”

“Now they’re probably on a manhunt looking for you,” Dad says.

“Probably,” I shrug my shoulders.

“Well.. Let’s get these steaks grilling and then get y’all on the move,” Dad says. “If you’re going to experience Earth, you need to have a little fun.”

All during dinner, we played a game of catch up with Dad and Sam. Learning all these things we never knew before, like Sam crashing his car in high school. Hmm, it seems that he and Josh have something in common. Sam also has a girlfriend who is currently on a trip to Mexico. Dad still works for Explore Tech, but now that the truth is out, he can now make the trip to Mars to visit when he’s able to. Sam was not holding back about wanting to come up to Mars.

“I have to see it for myself,” He says.

There was a lot going on and we hadn’t realized how late it was until I noticed Josh slowly dozing off on the couch.

“We’d better get going,” Marlie says as she stands up from the couch.

“Where y’all staying?” Dad asks.

“Oh uh..” I ponder even telling him. What if he rats us out?

“I promise I won’t say a word if they come poking around here,” He says.

“I got us a rental down at the beach,” Marlie says. “Jake’s always wanted to check it out so I thought it would be relaxing for a couple of days.”

Within a few hours, the three of us made it to the coast. The sun was beginning to set and it looked absolutely stunning along the horizon. Josh made off to bed and he was completely knocked out within a few minutes. Marlie and I stayed up a little while longer.

“Jake?” Marlie softly speaks as she runs her fingers through my hair. I turn my head away from the water and look back at her. “Say you do go back to Mars… What happens to us?”

“Nothing..” I say. “If all goes well down here, then I know I can come back to see you. Nothing will change for us. I won’t give you up that easily.”

“It’s just.. We’re finally here–together.. I don’t want you to go back.”

“I don’t want to go back either.” I say. I twist my body around to face her and I pull her in for a kiss. “I finally have you, I don’t ever want this to end.”

Standing up from the sand, I pull her to her feet and we head back inside the beach house. We’re slowly undressing each other in the other bedroom, far enough away from Josh. I didn’t ever think this day would ever come, but here I am, standing before her in nothing but my bare skin. We’re just staring at each other, still not quite believing that any of this is real.

But it is.

We know it is.

Pressing our bodies together, I draw her in for a kiss and lay my hand on her bare hip. As our lips begin to move in sync with each other, I carefully lift her up on the bed. We only break apart momentarily as we move up the bed.

Everything about this moment felt so surreal. The french doors that lead out to the balcony are open, allowing the cool ocean breeze to flow in. And the sounds of the waves are nothing but relaxing.

Crawling up the bed, I nestle myself in between her legs as I reconnect our lips. My hands are blindly feeling over her body until I’m coming between her legs. She moans when I press my thumb against her clit.

What? You think just because I live on another planet, I don’t know about a woman’s anatomy? Please… Certain things are still attainable on a different planet.

Toying with her for just a little bit longer, I dip my fingers inside of her. The feeling was like nothing I’d ever felt before. Her little whimpers have me craving her even more. I set a steady pace of pumping my fingers in and out of her. My name flows from her mouth as if it always belonged there and clung to me tightly as I brought her to her orgasm. I continued to pump my fingers, and slightly dragged them down her slick walls.

So that’s what that means..

Suddenly she’s moaning quite loudly as her body stiffens beneath me.

“Oh fuck..” She breathes. Her fingers dig into my back as her own arches slightly makiher chest press against mine. My hand is soon covered in her release. My first instinct is to move down there so I do. I crawl backwards and plunge myself between her legs to take in everything she has to offer.

I lick between her folds, savoring every bit of her. Once I have all of her release licked up, I kiss my way up her body, worshiping every single inch of her. When I get back up to her level, she’s pushing on my shoulders and turning me onto my back. She returns the favor and starts kissing me before leaving a trail down my neck and to my collarbone. This feeling she’s making me feel is unlike anything I’ve felt before and I never want it to end.

She moves down my body, kissing every part of me until she reaches my shaft. I feel her lips brush against my length and my body jolts. Looking down, I watch her as she licks her tongue up my length and over the tip.

“Fuck..” I moan when she wraps her mouth around the tip and gently sucks on it. This feels so much better than my hand. My eyes roll as she sinks further down my length until I nudge the back of her throat. She repeats the process of lifting upwards and then taking all of me in again. I can’t help but to dig my hands into her hair. “Marlie, I..” Her hands come up to my hips and she gently squeezes them. She knows what she’s doing and my god I hope she never stops. This feeling is so much more intense than I could bring myself to feel on my own.

She doesn’t stop until I’m practically submitting myself completely to her. The warm feeling in my gut intensifies, tightening the coil until I can’t hold back any longer. Once her throat hollows out and she’s taking me deeper, I finally fall over the edge and hit my own climax. My release spills into her and she’s taking all of what I have to give.

I’ve never felt a feeling this intense before. I didn't even know I was capable of performing the way that I did. I was a whimpering mess by the time she was done with me.

She moves back towards me and kisses me. I moan when I taste my release on her lips. I dig my fingers into her hips, pushing her down against my body.

I’m still craving her. My body still needs this. I thrust my hips upwards, grinding my lower half against her. Rolling us back over, I adjust myself between her legs again. I didn’t waste any time before plunging deep inside of her. She cries out my name and digs her fingernails into my back.

I start out slow, allowing her to adjust to me. She claims I’m slightly bigger than what she’s used to. So obviously I’m not her first but I don’t care. That doesn’t bother me because I’m the one she’s with and that’s all that matters.

I gently rise a little, bringing her hips with me and I thrust my hips forward slightly faster. She’s clawing at my skin, no doubt leaving marks all over me. Eventually I’m picking up the pace a little bit more.

Part of me still thinks that this is all just a dream but I know it’s all real as I hold her body in my hands.

She moans a little more and I feel her clenching around me. That feeling is coming back but I know I have to fight it. I need to hold it off for just a bit longer. She clenches around me before she cries out my name again and coats me completely with her release. The coil snaps within me and I can feel all of what I have filling her full.

This feeling is so much stronger than when she sucked me dry. This is so much more intense. My head feels so light and my body just the same, as if I’m back on Mars. I feel like I just fell into the ether. I feel nothing but pure bliss. But that feeling soon fades away leaving my ears ringing and my chest rapidly rising as I try to catch my breath.

My head is resting against her chest and I hear her heart racing inside of her chest.

“That was your first time?” She asked once we both had settled down.

I was laying on my back with my eyes fixated on the blank, white ceiling. “Yeah..” I respond as I turn my head so I can look at her. “Why?”

“Just didn't seem like it at all,” She says with a twinge of a smile.

“Was I okay?”

She smiles and rolls over onto her side. “You did perfect,” She kisses my cheek and nuzzles her nose against the side of my face. “I have a surprise for you.”

“What is it?” I ask.

“You’ll have to find out.” She says as she pulls away and climbs out of the bed. She slips on her clothes and starts heading for the door. “Come on.”

I pull my own clothes back on and quickly follow after her. She leads me back downstairs and out the front door to her car. Going over to the trunk, she unlocks it and lifts the door. Resting inside was a guitar case. She unlocks that too and lifts the lid revealing the most beautiful acoustic.

“I know you said you wanted to learn to play one so I bought you one. I’m not entirely sure if you’ll be able to take it back with you but.. You can learn how to play while you’re here.”

“You really bought this for me?”

She nods her head and lifts it out of the case. “I even had it engraved.” She turned it over and there on the back was a tiny rocket with a star just above it. “That’s us.”

“I love it.” I say as I lean down to kiss her. “Thank you.”

______________________________________________________________

Apologies in advanced with this taglist, I have recently been having problems with it!

@watchingover-hypegirl @losfacedevil @ignite-my-fire @ohgodthefeeling-gvf @writingcold (more tags in comments)

[ereardon]

Friends Don't || Chapter 13

Synopsis: Bob Floyd has been your best friend for almost a decade, ever since he quietly agreed to tutor you in college. The two of you have spent years chasing each other around the globe – Bob as a WSO, you as a travel blogger. You’ve always been the anywhere-but-here girl, and he’s been your rock. But when a surprise diagnosis threatens to crumble your picture-perfect life, you’re on the first flight back to San Diego, desperate to put down roots for the first time. Will Bob finally have it in him to admit that you could be the love of his life? What will he say when he finds out the secret you’ve been skillfully hiding from him? Or worse, what if he doesn’t find out until it’s too late? 

Pairing: Robert “Bob” Floyd x OC [Reid] 

Tropes: Friends to lovers

Warnings: Cursing, cancer, alcohol, mentions of death, fertility discussions and pregnancy, surrogacy, mentions of IVF and clinics/hospital testing, fucking ANGST, medical inaccuracies because I am not a fertility expert or a physician

WC: 2.6K

Chapter summary: Phoenix's pregnancy progresses; Reid tells Bobby she's ready to get married; Reid forgives Jake for being a dick; Bobby and Reid prepare for Baby Floyd

Series masterlist here; previous chapter here; next chapter here

Bob had always wanted kids. 

He wanted to be a dad, long before it was a popular idea. He remembered being eight and his little sister falling on the playground. He was the first one to get to her, to bandage her knee, to wipe away her tears and say it was going to be OK. 

He knew then what he knew now: he was meant to be a dad. He just had to find the right girl to build a life with. 

Everything happened fast. Before you knew it, you, Bob and Phoenix were on a commercial flight back to New York, meeting with your doctors at Mount Sinai about the viability of the eggs. Bob looked a little pale as they handed him a cup at the fertility specialist and showed him a private room in the corner. They asked if you would like to join him and the blush that crept over his face had you and Phoenix laughing for hours. 

You got to show Bob and Phoenix around New York for two days while you waited for the results from Bob’s tests, the egg viability tests, as well as Phoenix’s screening exams. You took them for bagels and walks in the park all the way up to the Met. You snuck out early from the AirBnB in the morning to get chocolate babka from Breads Bakery before it sold out and you and Bob wandered the aisles of The Strand before meeting Phoenix for dinner at your favorite tapas bar tucked away on west 10th street. 

And then you got the call. The three of you sat in the waiting room of the clinic on the upper east side, your hand swaddled in Bob’s. 

“Everything looks good,” the doctor said. “We can start fertilization and bring you in for a transfer in a few days.” 

You looked at Bob with wide eyes. He pulled you into his arms, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. When you leaned back you reached over and grabbed Phoenix, holding her tightly. “Thank you,” you whispered. 

The three of you left five days later with explicit instructions that Phoenix wasn’t to take a pregnancy test for two weeks. 

The two longest weeks of your life. Finally, two Fridays later, you sat in the back seat while Bob drove Phoenix to the clinic on base to get a blood draw. 

Later that night, the phone rang. You looked over at Phoenix, eyes wide. She reached out, hand steady and even, and swiped it open, hitting the speaker button. “Lieutenant Trace.” 

“Lieutenant Trace, it’s Dr. Marly. We have your results. Are Lieutenant Floyd and Ms. Coleman there as well?” 

“They are.” 

“Great.” There was the sound of shuffling paper. “Congratulations. You’re pregnant.” 

Your jaw dropped. For a moment, no one knew what to do. But then Bob pulled you into his arms, twirling you around in a circle before bending you backward, pressing his lips to yours, smiling. 

“You’re going to be a mom,” he whispered as he pulled back. 

A tear slid down your cheek. “And you’re going to be a dad.” 

He grinned. You turned to Phoenix who ended the call and looked up at you with a surprised look. 

Before she could say anything, your arms were wrapped tightly around her, your face buried in her neck. “Thank you,” you whispered, tears spilling down your cheek and wetting her hair. “I just, thank you.” 

She swallowed the lump in her throat and Bob stepped closer, wrapping the aviator in his arms and you watched the two of them, your heart threatening to crack in half. 

Bob called the rest of the team, inviting them over, and less than twenty minutes later the house was full of shouting aviators. You watched and laughed as Bob jumped up and down with Coyote and Bradley hugged Phoenix tightly, one hand over her flat lower stomach before she swatted him away playfully. 

Jake entered the room and zeroed in on you immediately, crossing the living room and coming to stand in front of you. “Reid,” he said softly. “I just–”

You closed the gap between the two of you, wrapping your arms around his neck, pulling him into an embrace. The room went quiet and Jake’s arms circled your waist hesitantly. 

You pulled back slightly, still holding onto his shoulders. 

“I forgive you,” you said. “It doesn’t matter anymore. Grudges don’t matter. I’m going to be a mom. That’s what matters.” 

And then you pulled him back in for another hug, and felt the relief fall from Jake’s back. He felt lighter and you swore you almost heard him sniffle against your neck.

After the two of you broke apart, Bob crossed the room, wrapping his hands around the side of your neck, pressing his lips firmly against your forehead. You closed your eyes and let go. 

Everything was going to work out. 

***

The waiting was the worst part. First it was for the first scan. And then it was for the heartbeat. 

Every time, you’d sit in the back as Bob drove the three of you to the clinic, his hand firm in yours as you sat on the chairs against the wall, waiting for the tiny bean to show up on the ultrasound. 

Sometimes you felt like you were married to Phoenix. Always asking her if you could do anything for her, rub her feet, get her ice cream. 

“Reid,” she laughed as you flitted nervously around the kitchen, looking for a snack. “You’re going to worry yourself into a coma.” 

You turned to her with a sigh. “I just, I don’t know what to do,” you admitted. “I don’t even know what my role is.” 

She stood and pressed her hands against the tops of your shoulders. “We’re all just figuring it out as we go.” 

You nodded softly. 

You couldn’t help but be jealous as you saw Phoenix’s body begin to round out softly. And you were thankful that she let you in on the experience, lifting her shirt, pressing your hand to the delicate curve without you ever asking.

But it didn’t stop you from tearing up in Bob’s arms at night as he held you. Perhaps you were crying for a lot of things. Not only the fact that you so desperately wanted to be the one to carry his child. But because you knew that at some point, somewhere, you would leave them. And it would be Bob and the baby. 

“Bobby?” you whispered quietly in the dark, your naked limbs tangled with his, his fingers threading softly through your hair. 

“What is it, honey?”

“Are you going to forget me?” you asked. “When I’m gone.” Then, “What if the baby never remembers me at all?” 

“Darlin’.” Bob tipped your chin up so you were looking at his soft blue eyes. “I’ll never forget you. Not as long as I live. You’re unforgettable, Reid Coleman.” 

“Floyd,” you said and Bob squinted. 

“Why are you calling me by my last name?” he chuckled.

You shook your head. “I want to be Reid Floyd. Let’s do it. Let’s get married.” 

“Are you serious?” he asked quietly. Bob knew you weren’t one for marriage or all the bureaucracy involved in a wedding. 

You nodded with a smile. “Yeah, I am. Just you and me. Maybe Phoenix. And Bradley can come.” 

Bob laughed, pressing his lips to yours, absorbing your laugh through his body. “So everyone,” he murmured. 

“Fine,” you said and he chuckled again, pulling you in tighter. “We can have a party after, a small one.” 

“Or just us,” he said softly. “Whatever you want, I’ll give you. Anything.” 

“You,” you whispered. “I want you. I want to be yours. That’s enough.” 

***

In the end, you had a small ceremony out on the beach near where Bob first asked you to marry him. You wore a white chiffon dress that floated in the wind, and Bradley officiated following a short online course to get ordained. 

You and Bob had agreed that writing your own vows were cheesy. The truth was, you didn’t think you’d be able to get through them without crying off your makeup. 

So when Bob pulled out a small sheet of paper, folded neatly into a square, your breath caught in your throat. 

“Bobby,” you whispered, shaking your head. "I didn't write anything."

He smiled. He was wearing a light tan suit with a white button up left slightly unbuttoned at the top, bare feet in the sand, hair slightly longer but brushed back neatly. Bob grinned at you. “Please, Sunny,” he said softly. “Let me do this.” 

You nodded and took his free hand in yours. 

“Sunny,” Bob said, smiling down at you. “I always knew that I loved you. I think in the beginning I wasn’t sure, all I knew was that I wanted to spend all of my time with you. That you were my best friend, the one person I trusted would always have my back. And then, slowly, I realized it wasn’t just that. I love the way you laugh and the way your eyes crinkle at the corners as you read and how you always have a huge bag of mints in the car that spills all over anytime you try to get one out while you’re driving, and I love the way you always make my birthday so special because you know I would never make a fuss about it myself. 

“I have loved you every day for ten years. Being your husband is going to be the most important thing I’ll ever do. You’re my whole world, Sunny. I hope I can make you even one percent as happy as you make me, simply by being yourself. You’re the best part of my day, you’re my best friend, you’re my soulmate. I love you so much, darlin’. And I always will.” 

You were sobbing. Bob slid the note back into his pocket, grabbing both of your hands with his, drawing your knuckles up to his lips and kissing them softly. 

Bradley pushed a tear off of his cheek and read the rest of the ceremony. You slid a solid gold band onto Bob’s finger. He placed the gold band he had originally given you back onto your finger where you had slipped it off earlier that morning and given it to Jake for safe keeping. 

“You may now kiss the bride.” 

Bob stepped forward, wrapping his arms around you, one hand on your neck, supporting your head. He grinned and leaned in, pressing his lips against yours. You closed your eyes, savoring it. 

That was a moment that would last forever. 

***

You sat on the beach under an umbrella, wearing one of Bob’s old shirts over your swimsuit, drinking from a bottle of water. 

In the distance, along the shoreline, the team was playing a game of pickup dogfight football. You had become accustomed to the yells, the grunts, the almost blinding parade of abs. 

Next to you, Phoenix sat on a matching chair, reading a book. 

You looked over at her. “How are you feeling?” She was fifteen weeks along. Her lithe, gorgeous body had taken on a small rounded stomach which she rubbed with suntan lotion. 

“I’m OK,” she said, leaning back slightly and sighing. “Feeling huge.” 

You chuckled. “Well you look great.” 

Phoenix turned her eyes on you, your gold ring glinting in the sun as you slid on a pair of sunglasses over your eyes. “How are you, Reid?” she asked softly. 

“I’m good.”

“How are you really?” 

The truth was, you were tired. Small things felt like they were taking longer. You had started to scrapbook. You and Bob had both agreed that you’d quit your job, time was too precious, so you did, shortly after the wedding. It gave you time to think. Time to shop for a nursery, which you set up in your old room. Funny that only a handful of months before, you had been redecorating it as your room. Now, you and Bob shared the master, his nightstand impeccable and clean, yours littered with mint wrappers and dog-eared books and leftover bottles of half-full kombucha.

You needed more time. You were worried that one day they would forget you. That’s why you had a large photo of you and Bob printed and framed and hung it in the entryway. The two of you on the beach on the day of your wedding. Happy. You hoped that look would last forever. 

You smiled at her. “I want him to be happy,” you said softly. “Even when I’m gone. I want him to always look like this.” 

The two of you looked out over at the group. Bob sat on Bradley’s shoulders, proudly holding the football, a wide smile stretched over his entire face. 

“He deserves to be happy forever.” 

She reached out and grabbed your hand. “He’s happy now,” she said. “Let’s focus on that. That's all we can do.” 

***

The days were slow and fast, all at once. 

You and Bob had fallen into a rhythm. He made coffee while you slept in, and the two of you would sit in bed and drink the coffee when it was ready, the blinds pulled open. You filled your days with activities like painting the nursery or going to the farmer’s market, Phoenix’s doctor’s appointments, your own doctor’s appointments. 

There was a conflicting feeling in your chest every time you walked into a medical office. 

The doctors were adamant everything about the baby was perfect. You heard the heartbeat on the ultrasound monitor, you opted in for genetic testing. 

They were less convinced about your own prognosis. 

One day, you and Bob left an appointment and drove home in silence. You excused yourself to go outside, read in the backyard. 

When you crept inside an hour later, you heard soft sobs coming from the direction of the nursery. 

Your heart squeezed as you tiptoed nearer, Bob’s soft cries plainly heard through the cracked door. The nursery wasn’t finished. You still needed to get a glider and a dresser for a changing table, and you hadn’t bought nearly enough clothes so there were just empty tiny hangers in the closet. 

Bob sat on the floor near the crib, the one item of furniture you had managed to buy, his face buried in his hands. You watched from the doorway as his shoulders shook. The way he tried to silence himself. 

He couldn’t even hear you over his own tears as you made your way across the room, putting one hand on his shoulder. Bob startled under your touch, refusing to look at you until he wiped under his eyes furiously. 

“Bobby?” you whispered softly. 

He shook his head. “I’m fine. What do you want for dinner, darlin’?” 

“You’re not fine,” you said, sitting down next to him, one of your thighs overlapping his. You ran a thumb beneath his eyes, flicking away the tears. His glasses were smudged and foggy and you felt your heart break. “It’s OK, you know,” you whispered. “It’s OK not to be fine. It’s OK to be sad. It’s OK to mourn the things we’ll never have.” 

“How is any of this OK?” he demanded. 

“You’re right. It’s not.”

“Why did you wait so long?” His voice was climbing. Anger poured out of him. You would take the anger over the sadness. “To tell me? We could have had more time.”

You shook your head. “We had as much time as we needed,” you murmured. 

“No amount of time is enough,” Bob insisted, his hands warm in yours. “It’ll never be enough.” 

You leaned forward, pressing your forehead against his. “Let’s just be happy with what we have,” you said softly. “I’ll love you forever, Bobby. No matter what.” 

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[silverhenderson]

Sirius Black is a Complete Idiot (Sirius Black x Marlene McKinnon)

Pairing: Marlene McKinnon x Sirius Black

Fandom: Harry Potter (Marauders Era)

Warnings: Angst, Fluff, and some suggestive material, Panic attack

Word Count: 4825 words

Summary: The day starts off relatively normal until a party causes two people to grow close but one mistake and a horrid rumor may cause this relationship to crumble to its knees

Notes: I don't love this one but it's alr enough, been working on it for like a week soo. Hope you enjoy it! P.S. Spelling was being a twat so sorry for any mistakes.

Marlene sat on the window sill, her window was open and she breathed out a stream of smoke. As she watched it fade into the sky, she ran her fingers through her long hair. It was about mid-November, so the grounds of Hogwarts had leaves littered all over it. The smell of the approaching winter made her smile. “Marly” She turned her head to see her best friend Lily smiling at her. “Hey Lils” she smiled back, adjusting her jacket. “Whatcha up to?” Lily asked, flopping down on her bed, her red hair spreading around her. “Nothing” Marlene responded quickly and adjusted her sitting position so Lily couldn't see the cigarette in her hand. As much as the two of them had been best friends since 1st year and agreed on most things (like how absolutely frustrating a certain group of boys were) Lily was firm on how horrid smoking was. “Alright…” Lily responded not entirely convinced. 

“How was your date?” Marlene eventually said Lily rolled her eyes. “Absolutely horrible” “Oooo” Marly said, putting out the cigarette and climbing over to her best friend. She laid down next to Lily and played with her hair. “Spill” Lily laughed, “well first,” she said adjusting herself so Marlene had better access to her ginger hair which she had curled for said date. “He first didn’t even save me a seat at the three broomsticks, I had to go grab one from a group of Ravenclaws” both girls grimaced. “Then he made ME pay for the meal, I mean I’m all for paying but I was under the impression that he would you know?” she looked up at her friend. Marlene nodded, “Understandable” Lily lay back down, “Once we finished eating which by the way the entire time he was chewing with his mouth open and not once used a napkin” Marlene gagged. Like most people she also tended to forget to not talk while she was eating, seeing as her mother had never been big on manners and growing up with two older brothers. But she knew to always use a napkin, always. 

“Then after” Lily continued, “he saw a group of his friends and left me standing alone for like 20 minutes, and when I went to go find him he was snogging some Slytherin!” Marlene rolled her eyes. “I can hex him for you love,” she said, completely serious. Lily laughed, “Nah it’s okay but thanks Marls” Marlene nodded. They sat on Lily’s bed for a bit in comfortable silence and listened to the birds singing down on the grounds. Suddenly the door slammed open, both girls shot up, and in walked their other doormates. Mary Mcdonald and Dorcus Meadowes, “Jesus fucking Christ Mary!” Marlene growled and laid back down. “Do you always have to slam that door open?” Mary rolled her eyes at her friend’s comment; “I don’t ALWAYS slam it open!”.

 “No just the past 50 times or so” Lily laughed and high-fived Marlene. Mary ignored her, “Listen I was just informed that there is gonna be a party in the common room” She smiled proudly as Dorcus passed her and sat down on her bed crossing her legs. “So?” Marlene retorted, “sooo this is our chance to meet some cute guys!” Mary said giddily, Marlene sat up. “Mary in the nicest way possible, I have met every guy in this damn castle, and not a single one of them has enough brain cells to even know what a girl is” She got up off the bed and went to close the window. “Oh come on Marly” Mary strode over to her friend and put her hands on her shoulders, “We know that’s not true” “What’s that supposed to mean?” Marlene said facing her. Dorcus giggled and looked at the book she had grabbed, Lily sat up suddenly intrigued by the conversation. “Well let’s just say I’ve noticed how flustered you get when Sirius Black is around” she smirked. 

Marlene studdered at the comment, “What?! I do not!” her face turned beet red. Lily laughed, “Sure Marls” “Oh yeah, and what about you and Potter?” that shut Lily up. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Lily looked away. “She’s blushing!” Dorcas said and Marlene laughed, “I rest my case” she turned back to Mary. “As for you, Mary do you want me to tell our lovely Dottie what you were muttering in your sleep last night?” Mary’s eyes went wide and she shook her head. “I didnt think so, Now if you’ll excuse me I have quidditch practice to get to.” she grabbed her broom and walked out of the dorm smiling to herself. As she walked down the stairs she ran into Professor Mcgonigal, “Professor!” she said quickly; “are you alright?” she asked quickly. “Fine Ms.Mckinnion,” she said. This was when Marlene noticed the girl standing next to her, she looked about the same age as her, her hair was cut in a bob and curled at the bottom. She held a Gryffindor robe and two bags, she wore a pine green pantsuit. “This is Ms.Brown,” the older woman said motioning to the new girl, Marlene nodded. Ms.Brown held out her hand, “Laurie” she said smiling, Marlene took her hand and shook it. Laurie’s hands were soft and her nails were painted navy blue. “She is new to Hogwarts, and is in Gryffindor house” Marlene nodded again, “well welcome,” Marlene said politely. Laurie smiled, “have you seen Ms.Evans? I would like to speak to her” Malene looked to her teacher, “She’s in our dorm ma’am” McGonigal nodded. “Thank you” She and Laurie walked past Marlene, Laurie waved goodbye as they went up the stairs. Marlene waved back, she glanced at her watch. “Shit” she swore and ran out of the common room.

Eventually, she made it down to the quidditch field where the rest of the team stood, “Look who decided to show up” Hamish said crossing his arms in annoyance. “Sorry Hamish I just lost track of time,” she said panting. He sighed, rubbing his face; “It’s fine just go get changed” She nodded and looked over to Sirius and James who were whispering about something and snickering. She ran to the locker rooms and quickly changed, when she returned back to the field the team had already started their practice. She sat on her broom and kicked off the ground launching herself into the air. 

Practice went relatively well, not much happened besides James breaking his nose on a bludger and Sirius dying of laughter from the look on his friend’s face. An hour and a half passed, and Hamish blew the whistle to signal the end of practice. Marlene and the others touched back down to the ground, “Alright everyone” Hamish clapped his hands, “Good job today, I’m confident we’ll beat Hufflepuff this weekend now everyone go get some rest and I’ll see you tonight” The team walked over chattering about god knows what. Marlene trailed a bit behind wrapped up in her own thoughts. “Alright, there McKinnon?” Sirius said jogging up to her, “Right as rain” She smiled at him, and he nodded. “Sooo,” he said clapping his hands together awkwardly, “whatcha doing later?” he asked trying to be smooth. She shrugged “Mary said there’s a party later so probably going to that” he nodded. “Why?” she asked looking up at him, he shrugged and pulled his hair out of the ponytail he had put it up for practice. Not much was said between the two on their walk. When they got to the locker rooms Sirius walked to the door for the men’s changing room, Marlene quickly grabbed him by the wrist and spun him around to face her. He looked down at her, “what’s up doll?” he said, smirking at her. “Bring some fire whisky tonight okay? You know I’m more fun when I’m drunk” she winked at him letting go. He smiled with his usually cocky smile, and he bowed; “as you wish”. She laughed and walked into the girl’s locker room.  

Around 7 the party was beginning, although Marlene, Mary, and Dorcas were still upstairs changing. “I don’t know how I feel about this dress Mary” Dorcas said; the dress she was referring to was a dark blue, short, and showed a lot of her chest. “Oh come on Dottie you look great!” Mary said walking over to her and adjusting the dress. She loomed over the taller girl, Dorcas blushing furiously at how close they both were. Marlene laughed at the two, “What?” Mary said, looking at her. “Nothing,” she said giggling Mary glared at her and walked away from Dorcas. Marlene brushed her hair as Lily walked into the room wearing a floral green dress, “Hi Evans!” Marlene said mocking James” Lily jumped at the name, realizing it was her friend she rolled her eyes and threw a pillow at the blonde girl, who laughed. “You scared me!” Marlene kept laughing and held onto the pillow. “Where have you been Lils?” Mary said from her bed flicking her wand to change her nail color. “Showing around the new 5th year” Lily replied sighing and falling onto her bed. “Difficult?” Dorcas asked looking in the mirror. “If what you mean by difficult is making sure she stays as far away from Potter and his gang then yes” the other three laughed at her comment. 

“Anyway, Her name is Laurie, and she’s quite nice”, Lily shrugged and looked up at the ceiling, “Oh I met her!” Marlene said sitting up. “On my way to practice, she seemed pelsent enough” She shrugged and fell back onto her bed.  “How interesting,” Mary said, the tone of her voice saying otherwise; she swiped her dark lipstick across her lips and spun around. “Alright! Let’s go!” she practically skipped over to the door, Lily got up and pulled Marlene up. “Ughhh I don’t want to” Marlene wined, “Come on Marly” Lily pulled her best friend up on her feet and practically dragged her out the door. Dorcas followed behind them and shut the door to their dorm. 

When the group got downstairs the party was in full swing. “See you a lot later!” Mary said excitedly and skipped off. The other three waved goodbye, “come Marly” Lily said pulling Marlene off while Dorcas walked away to go find her other friends. As the two weaved through the crowd of Gryffindors and a handful of Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs; zero Slytherins. “Lily!” a voice called to them, she turned around. “Iris!” she said letting go of Marlene and hugging the Hufflepuff. “Oh look at you!” Lily said looking her up and down, Iris blushed. “Thanks, it’s Cissy’s!” she smiled. Marlene grimaced, “my bitchy cousin gave you that dress?” a rough voice said behind the group. Iris, Marlene, and Lily turned around to see none other than the Marauders, Remus, Peter, James, and Sirius. Lily made a face when she saw them, Marlene crossed her arms and smirked and Iris just smiled. 

“Yep!” Iris said spinning around the dress, the skirt flew up a tad to reveal a bit more than necessary. Remus blushed and looked away coughing awkwardly. “Oh, that’s why it’s so ugly” Sirius laughed and took a swig of fire whisky, Iris glared at him. “Watch it Black” Marlene shot. She didn’t particularly like Iris primaraly since her friends consisted of the questionable Slytherins, and her relationship with Regulus was just weird. But she respected the girl and Sirius Black is a twat so. Sirius’ head whipped around to her, “Woahhh, come on Marlene I thought we had gotten past the whole last name thing” he said taking another sip and shoving the bottle into Remus’ hand who rolled his eyes. Marlene continued to glare at him, “And I thought you were past being an absolute idiot but clearly you haven’t” he started walking towards her. She backed up until her back pressed against the wall. 

Sirius’ tall figure loomed over her, he smiled smugly down at her. She continued to glare up at him; the other 6 people looked at each other very uncomftouble. “This is quite awkward” Lily whispered, “we could always go somewhere else Evans” James winked at her. “Nope!” Lily said putting her hand up, she pulled out her wand and muttered something. Sirius moved out of the way and grabbed Marlene she pulled her away, and Iris followed. “See you later McKinnion” Sirius said laughing and taking his whisky back. 

About 3 hours passed, the party was not as extreme as when it first started but it was still pretty big. Marlene and Lily danced in the middle of the room on the makeshift dancefloor that had been charmed to glow different colors. Marlene closed her eyes and spun around smiling. She was so ingroced in her movements that she didn’t feel someone coming up behind her, she moved her hips; swaying back and forth. “Nice moves,” a male voice said behind her, he sounded out of breath. Keeping her eyes closed she backed up into the person, the mixture of weed and alcohol making her not have a care in the world. He put his hands on her hips and guided her. She leaned against his chest and heard a faint noise escape his lip. He pulled her closer to her, she opened her eyes and ran her fingers through his hair. 

She felt breathing on her, and softly he spoke again; “Why don’t we get out of here, Chaton?” she stopped. Only one person in the world called her that. She turned around to see that shit-eating grin of Sirius Black. She didnt know if it was because of anything that had happened but she didnt care. She grabbed him by the tie and slammed her lips onto his. He smiled and ran his fingers through her long hair, he deepened the kiss. Marlene pulled away, he made what sounded like a whimper; she smiled. “Meet me in my dorm in 10,” she said whispering in his ear. He nodded quickly and practically sprinted off. She smiled and turned to find Lily who had disappeared; she sighed. 7 minutes passed, and she went to her room and lay on her bed; waiting. She sat there for 8 minutes, sighed, and stood. She couldn’t help but feel something cold wash over her. He wasn’t going to come. And for the first time in 5 years; Marlene cried, yet again for Sirius Black.  

Marlene walked into the entrance hall; she hadn’t bothered to change and her hair was put up in a messy bun. Her lipstick and eyeliner were smudged. However, before she goes into the great hall someone grabbed her by the arm and pulled her back. She expected it to be Sirius but surprisingly it was Bellatrix Black. “What do you want Bella?” she spat at the Slytherin. “You look even worse than usual” she cackled, Marlene went to walk away before she was stopped and pulled back by some unseen magical force. “As much as I hate you I think you should know that my cousin Sirius is horribly sorry about last night” She smiled, Marlene stood in confusion; “how do you-” “He was much too busy with the new girl, Laurie Brown; you know Iris’ cousin. Had a fun night in the astronomy tour last night. Or so that’s what he’s saying” she laughed again and walked off. Leaving Marlene there alone, it felt like a stab in her heart.

 Nothing mattered anymore. She had opened herself, allowed herself the hope of something ANYTHING between them and he not only didnt show up but he was off fucking some other girl. Why had no one told her?! Iris had to have known and so had the other Marauders; she knew for a fact Lily spent the night helping out Laurie get to know people when she had left for her dorm. She stared into the great hall, nothing seemed different. Everyone was laughing and chatting; her friends pretending nothing had happened. Marlene couldn’t care, she just needed to get away she walked out of the hall and out the main door. She didnt know where she was going she just needed air, her breathing getting more rapid as she began to subconsciously pick up her pace.

As she ran she heard nothing just voices in her head, saying word after word of horrid things. Images flooded her mind, she closed her eyes to try and shut everything out but she couldn’t. Suddenly she lurched forward over a root and rolled down a hill. When she finally landed a the bottom there was a shooting pain through her leg. She held back even more tears, the pain in her leg, however, was nothing compared to what was going on in her mind.

Marlene’s heart was racing, her breathing was quick and rapid and she was sweating like it was the middle of July. She held her head in her hands, she pulled at her head muttering word after word. Crying, screaming. She felt like was choking, as though the whole world’s supply of oxygen had suddenly disappeared. Marlene tried to take in deep breaths but nothing, why did this have to happen? Why now? She was a fucking idiot, she yelled at herself inside for allowing any of this to happen. She banged her head against the ground ripping at it, pulling at her hair. 

She didn’t hear the rapided approaching footsteps, she felt someone grab at her. Pulling her hands away from her head, she tried to fight back but whoever it was was much too strong. When they had finally restrained her she stopped fighting. Marlene went limp, they grabbed her and pulled her in. She didnt care who it was she just cried, they stroked her hair, and she sobbed into their lap. They shushed her, trying to calm her. Eventually, her breathing evened out. They sat there, Marlene choking on the air and them holding her. She looked up to see James, he looked down at her with so much concern in his eyes. “James?” she choked out “shhhh” he held her close to him, “how did you find me?” she whispered. He continued to hold her, “I saw you running, out of the hall after Bellatrix talked to you, I saw you were upset so I followed you” She looked up at him. “Thank you” she whispered, “how did you know?” she sat in front of him. “My mum used to get them growing up, she would go into full meltdowns and would have to go to Saint Mungo’s”. “James, I’m so sorry,” she said whipping her tears, “Don’t, she okay now, but Marlene how long have you had these?” she had never seen or heard him be so concerned. 

“Since my dad…” he nodded, “Listen” he lifted her head softly so they made eye contact; “you don’t need to go through this alone, and if this happens again you tell him. Marlene blinked at him, “what?” “you heard me, and I’m not taking no for an answer”. She nodded, James smiled softly. “You ready to head back? We don’t need to go back to the great hall, I can get you some breakfast.” she nodded, and he pulled her up and she flinched. He looked at her swelling foot, “where is your wand?” he asked and she shrugged. He pulled out his wand from his back pocket, “accio Marlene’s wand” they stood as there was a soft whooshing before her wand flew and landed in her hand. He smiled and said some spell she couldn’t make out and the pain from her leg numbed exponentially. 

Marlene lay on the couch in the common room her foot up against the armrest. James sat on the floor chewing on some toast, Marlene laughed at a comment and ate some of her eggs still on the plate in her lap. “I think that should work, but make sure you do it right after quidditch practice” he nodded and smiled. “You’re actually pretty fun Marlene” she smiled back, “you’re just figuring that out now?” the two of them laughed the portrait door opened and three people walked in. 

Remus, Peter, and Sirius. Marlene’s smile faded when they came into her view. “There you are, Potter! Bloody hell!” Sirius said, when he saw Marlene he turned red. “Marlene-” he started, she pulled herself up, almost falling in the process. James quickly ran over and helped her up, he shot Sirius a look to shut up and helped Marley upstairs. He helped lay her down she thanked him and he left. 

A couple of hours later Mary, Dorcas, and Lily walked in laughing. When they saw her Lily went to talk to her and she turned over so her back faced them. “Is everything okay Marls?” Lily said walking over to her, she stopped when Marlene made a grunting noise. She couldn’t tell but Lily, Mary, and Dorcas exchanged concerned looks. “Did it not go well last night?” Lily asked sitting down on the bed. She didn’t respond, “Marls?” Lily reached out to her friend. When her finger tips grazed Marlene’s side she pulled back. “Marlene stop being a moody bitch and tell us what happened” Mary scoffed and brushed some mascara onto her eyelashes. Marlene sat up, “Sirius stood me up!” she shouted; Mary looked at her in shock. She got out of bed ignoring the throbbing in her leg, “and he went and fucked Laurie Brown! And left me up here waiting!” she hobbled over to Mary. 

“Who?” Mary asked, “THE FUCKING NEW KID” Marlene yelled, “WHO BYE THE WAY” she whipped around to face Lily “IS YOUR NEW BEST FRIENDS COUSIN” they looked at her in silence and shock. Suprisiling calmly Lily started, “Marley can I talk to you outside?” she didn’t wait for her response and dragged her out. Marlene flinched from the pain she suddenly remembered. They got to an out of way era in the hall, “Marlene honey” she took her friend’s hands. “I know you’re upset, but you should’ve come talked to me before jumping to conclusions; you know I would’ve told you if I knew. But now I’m pissed as fuck at Sirius” Marlene looked down at her feet in embarrassment, mentally yelling at herself for acussing her best friend of being horrible. “And Marls?” Marlene looked up, “you are my best friend and always will be” she hugged Marly. The other girl smiled and hugged her back. 

Someone whistled behind them, they let go. Sirius stood smiling smuggly at them. “How did you even get up here?” Marlene asked intertwining her finger’s with Lily. “Magic, duh” Sirius said waving his wand around non shlauntly and though it was the most obviously thing in the world. “Sirius you should leave” Marlene muttered, “why you suddenly sick of me?” he asked with some concern in his voice. “She said leave Black” Lily said snaping at him. “Oh come on Evans” Sirius started, “LEAVE” she said annoyed shooting him a very pissed look.

Getting the hint Sirius walked back downstairs, “Thanks Lil” she smiled. “But my foot is really hurting and I need to get off it” “Shit sorry Marls!” Lily helped her back into their room.

About 3 weeks passed and a lot had changed. James as well as Remus had become quiet distant with Sirius after learning what he had done. Peter had no idea what was happening (like usual); Marlene had apologized to Mary and Dorcas and they had forgave her. No one really talked to Laurie besides her cousin and anyone who wasnt involved and Marlne and Sirius hadn’t said a word. He had tried to talk to her multiple times calling her by his nickname but she ignored him. 

Marly walked down a darker hallway by herself, Lily had gone to do some duieties for being head girl. And Dorcas and Mary were doing something else god knows where. She ran her fingers through her messy hair, as she went farther down the hall she noticed a figure leaning against the wall. A cigarette placed between his pointer finger and middle. She silently prayed that it was just some 7th year and not anyone she knew; partly cause she couldn’t deal with anymore ‘polite’ conversations today. As she approached she couldnt help but look at his appearance. Long brown curly hair down to his shoulders, his tie was placed loosely around his neck, black boots and a leather jacket. Great she thought, the one person she definitely didn’t want to see. She debated weather to turn around and go back from where she came or keep walking but the choice was made for her when he called her name. She stopped, in two strides he was right infront of you. “I’ve been looking for you everywhere Chaton” he said, “stop” she held up her hand. “I haven’t done anything” he said defensively putting his hands up, the cigarette still between his fingers.

 “Sirius I don’t want you to talk to me anymore” she said readjusting her books in her hands. “Why not?” he asked confused, he’d noticed she had been avoiding him for a while now but he had no idea why; and his friends were no help when he asked what the hell had happened, even Evans refused to tell Sirius anything or even acknowledge him.

“Why not? You seriously have no idea why I’m upset with you?!” ahhh so she was upset with him. He racked his brain trying to think of what he had done recently that could’ve pissed her off this much. “Is this because I didn’t pass to you at the match against Ravenclaw? Because if it is I told you I didn’t see you were open and it was pouring like hell” she groaned loudly at his stupidity. “Thats what you think this is about?” she snapped, her voice beginning to rise. Okay now he had really fucked up, Sirius stood there waiting for her to start cussing him out. “You stood me up!” she shouted. “And went and fucked some other girl!” 

What the hell is she talking about? Sirius thought and then he remembered. The party after practice back in November, she had said to meet him upstairs. He slapped his palm against his face. “Fuck Marlene,” he said, “I wasn’t shagging someone else,” he said calmly. He was a dick and he knew it but he wouldn’t just go fuck some girl after he said he would sleep with someone else. Especially if that someone else had been Marlene McKinnon, which it was. “Let me explain,” he said dropping the cigarette to the floor and stomping it out. She gave him a look that said: alright you idiot continue. He sighed, “When you had asked me to meet you upstairs I had a full intention too, mind you I was already pretty drunk. So I went to my dorm and I couldn’t find you know…” he coughed awkwardly. “Anyway I had known Remus was off doing who knows what with Iris so I went to go find him, but while I was looking in the hall I got tackled by some Slytherins and got shoved in a closet. No one found me until classes had already ended.” She looked at him trying to find some sort of indicator he was lying. None. “Alright, well why didn’t you tell me?” she asked, “I tried! But you were either avoiding me or your friends were telling me to fuck off”. He looked down at her, he could tell she was beating herself up inside for the whole situation. It wasn’t all her fault, he should’ve told her before he had gone looking for Remus or had left a note or SOMETHING. “So you weren’t shagging Laurie Brown?” she whispered. “No! I don’t even know who that is!” he said defensively. “The new girl, she's apparently Iris’ cousin” “I bet she's Lovely” Sirius said rolling his eyes. Marlene laughed, “I’m sorry Sirius,” she said looking up at him. “Can you forgive me?” he nodded, “Yes, but only if you make it up to me” he smiled at her. “How would I?” she questioned before it hit her and she laughed. “Do you always think with your dick?” she asked laughing, “only when my brain has checked out” he chuckled. He held his arm out to her and she linked it with his, the two walked together. “Hey I didn’t ask, why did you think I was shagging Laurie?” he looked down at her. “Your cousin said you had,” she said calmly, “Bella?” he said disgust dripping from his voice from the mere mention of her. She nodded, “oh I’m gonna hex her for this,” he said angrily. “Only if I can too” she smiled up at him, “deal”.

[brahminjerkybadass]

I JUST finished reading The End of the World and I just wanted to ask you why you are so cruel. Like, did you HAVE to make me cry over Sexy Inspector Gadget™️ and a transgender Deadpool cosplayer? Was it Necessary? Did you have to? Did you? I've been SOBBING for the last HOUR because YOU awakened the Marly- and-Me-6-year-old breakdown nostalgia. Because YOU chose to make mentally attached to the homosexual mutants and then FUCKING OBLITERATE ALL HAPPINESS IN THEIR LIVES. Look, I love you very much, you are dear to me, but DID YOU HAVE TO?

My talent is in angst and weird humor. John has the ingame voice line "Oh, I'm feral now!" and yes... I had to.

[maddie-grove]

My Top Ten Victorian (Ish) Romance Novels

Notes: Queen Victoria’s reign lasted from 1837 to 1901, but I learned in a literature class that sometimes the Victorian era is defined as lasting from 1832 (when the First Reform Act was passed) to 1901 (when Victoria died). When it comes to historical romance novels, I think the second definition works better; a romance set in 1831 usually comes at the tail end of a series or universe beginning in the 1810s/1820s and still has a Regency flavor, while a romance set 1832-1836 has a decidedly non-Regency feel. Incidentally, I’ve noticed that 1830s-set Harlequin Historicals are labeled “1830s,” rather than “Regency” or “Victorian.” No one knows what to do with the 1830s! Also, many of these novels are set in the USA. Three are specifically set in Chicago, which is kind of weird!

1. The Heiress Effect by Courtney Milan (2013) 

Exact Setting: 1860s England.

Premise: Politician Oliver Marshall has ambitions of enacting egalitarian laws, including the proposed Second Reform Bill, but his illegitimate birth and non-aristocratic upbringing make that an uphill battle. Then a marquess makes him a peculiar offer: in exchange for supporting the Second Reform Bill, he wants Oliver to publicly humiliate Jane Fairfield, an heiress who is despised by high society for her bad taste and oblivious rudeness. Oliver, too often the object of aristocratic bullying, has no desire to harm Jane, but he doesn’t feel that he can refuse the marquess outright. Then he realizes that Jane isn’t what she seems; instead, she’s a brave, clever, lonely woman who’s putting on an act so she can stay unmarried and continue protecting her younger sister. Also, he likes her and finds her wildly attractive, despite her nightmarish fashion sense.

Why I Like It: This is my favorite romance EVER. Jane is an all-time-great heroine: intelligent enough to engineer a complicated marriage-repellent scheme (and change it when circumstances require), strong enough to expose herself to ridicule out in the world (and come home to an uncle who thinks she’s inherently a bad person), and vulnerable enough to break your heart. Oliver, a bruised idealist who must reassess his go-along-to-get-along approach, is nearly as compelling. Their romance is full of top-notch banter and solidarity in the face of a world that wants them to be enemies. And there are almost too many excellent subplots to count: Jane’s sister’s secret romance with an Indian student at Cambridge, Oliver’s younger sister’s foray into activism, and Jane’s brittle frenemy-ship with the Johnson twins, to name a few.

Favorite Scene: The first time Jane drops her act in front of Oliver, or the defeat of the marquess.

2. A Hope Divided by Alyssa Cole (2017)

Exact Setting: North Carolina, USA, during the Civil War.

Premise: Marlie Lynch's life has always been complicated. The daughter of a free Afro-Caribbean root worker, she spent half her childhood with her mother before being sent to live with her white paternal relatives. Now she works for two different secret organizations: the Underground Railroad (with the help and approval of her white abolitionist sister) and the black-Unionist-run spying organization the Loyal League (with the knowledge of no one). When she’s not doing that, she’s pursuing her scientific interests while still honoring and using her late mother’s rootworking practices. Her situation becomes even more fraught when she agrees to harbor Ewan McCall, an escaped Union POW, in a secret chamber behind her bedroom wall. They bond over their shared intellectual interests, but is there any time for romance when Marlie’s home is being overrun by loathsome Confederates?

Why I Like It: Many historical romances have good love stories but don’t do much with the setting, while a few excel at portraying the past but fail at creating a compelling central relationship. Alyssa Cole’s Loyal League novels are the total package, and the Southern-Gothic-tinged A Hope Divided is the standout among them. Marlie and Ewan’s courtship is portrayed with tenderness, intelligence, and delicacy. Cole brings just as much sharpness and nuance to her portrayal of the time and place, representing groups of people who tend to disappear in popular discussions about the Civil War. I also really appreciate Ewan as a character. His mind works differently from most people’s (in that he would probably now be considered to be on the autism spectrum), and he worries that he’s a bad person because he doesn’t feel a lot of angst about some morally complicated decisions he made in the past. The narrative does a good job of showing that Ewan is no better or worse than anyone else for using tools other than empathy in his moral reasoning. Also, Marlie is a top-tier Gothic heroine.

Favorite Scene: Marlie reflects on the villain’s oh-so-convenient conception of Southern womanhood. I’m also a big fan of the entirety of the bedroom-wall courtship.

3. The Suffragette Scandal by Courtney Milan (2014)

Exact Setting: 1870s England.

Premise: After his hateful father and self-serving brother abandoned him to a grisly fate in war-torn Strasbourg, Edward Delacey narrowly survived, with his faith in himself and the world around him shattered. Now he’s back in England, and his younger brother stands to inherit the viscountcy that legally belongs to him. He’s not interested in the title; however, he does feel compelled to stop his brother from ruining the life of Frederica Marshall, a daring investigative reporter who writes about discrimination against women. As he lends his (jaded, reluctant) assistance, Frederica’s optimism begins to infect him...and that’s not the only reason he wants to stay around her.

Why I Like It: I love Frederica as Oliver’s little sister in The Heiress Effect, and she’s even better as the cocksure firebrand heroine of her own story. It’s rare that a heroine is allowed to be so successful in her chosen field at the beginning of a romance novel, but Milan accomplishes this while still giving Frederica enough vulnerabilities and flaws to make her interesting. Yet Edward, a wounded cynic who chooses to do good despite believing that he’s a garbage bag and the world is a shit-pile, is what really pushes the novel to all-time-great status. Their story is a wonderful illustration of the best things that love can do; his faith in the world is revived by her ideals, and her worst impulses are tempered by hearing about the lessons he’s learned in his darkest moments. Plus, they have some really funny banter. 

Favorite Scene: Edward explains why torture is ineffective and wrong. (I put years of hard work into getting my torture degree at torture college! Fuck off!)

4. After the Wedding by Courtney Milan (2018)

Exact Setting: 1860s England. 

Premise: After her father was accused of treason and committed suicide, Lady Camilla Worth was passed from home to increasingly shabby home, eventually fading into obscurity as Camilla Winters, a housemaid in a corrupt clergyman’s home. Adrian Hunter, the son of a black abolitionist activist and a white duke’s daughter, is visiting the clergyman in disguise to gather information when he and Camilla fall victim to a dastardly plot. Force to wed at literal gunpoint and thrown out of the house, they must work together to annul their marriage and get to the bottom of the clergyman’s sinister doings. 

Why I Like It: Camilla is the first bisexual heroine I ever encountered in romance, so I was already primed to love her, but it would’ve happened regardless of her orientation. Desperate for any kind of affection after losing her family in a particularly cruel way, her struggle to find love while trying to protect herself is extremely moving. Adrian also has an affecting arc, in which he learns how to let go of family members who don’t really care about him and acknowledge his grief for his brothers who died in the Civil War. Finally, the conspiracy plot is absolutely explosive.

Favorite Scene: Camilla deals with trauma through legal research. 

5. An Unconditional Freedom by Alyssa Cole (2019)

Exact Setting: USA (mainly Illinois and Mississippi) during the Civil War.

Premise: Daniel Cumberland once believed that freedom and justice would prevail for black people in America, but then he was kidnapped and enslaved for several months. Now free, he works for the Loyal League, fueled not by hope but by pure rage. Janeta Sanchez, a mixed-race Cuban-Floridian lady from a wealthy Confederate family, is also working for the Loyal League...as a double agent, because she believes that’s the only way to save her father. Paired with Daniel to gather intelligence about possible European aid, she begins to question her loyalties as she sees more of the world and gets to know the people her hypocritical white family has kept her away from. Daniel, meanwhile, begins to see a way of coping with his trauma and an uncertain future.

Why I Like It: Historical romance often shies away from the worst parts of history, or at least frames them as remaining firmly in the past. Alyssa Cole not only starkly portrays the horrors of American slavery, but also confronts head-on the terrifying realization that things do not inevitably improve over time. Yet Cole’s frankness doesn’t reduce the novel to a horror show; there is plenty of joy and kindness and hard-won hope between Daniel and Janeta. Deceived and guilted by her family into supporting an appalling cause that hurts her, Janeta is a complex heroine who develops wonderfully throughout the novel. Daniel is also one of the best-written heroes in romance. Finally, as in A Hope Divided, Cole sheds light on an aspect of the Civil War (the involvement of Europe) that doesn’t get a lot of attention in popular culture.

Favorite Scene: Janeta and Daniel talk alone for the first time.

6. Wild at Heart by Patricia Gaffney (1997)

Exact Setting: 1890s USA (Chicago, Illinois).

Premise: Lost as a child and raised by wolves in the wilds of Canada, the Lost Man has been discovered by “civilized” people and forced to “live” with a Chicago anthropologist for study. (Really, he’s being held captive.) Only Sydney Darrow, the anthropologist’s widowed daughter, has the sense/compassion to say, “Hey, maybe we should treat this man like a person and not keep him locked in a glorified cell where a disgruntled employee can taunt him.” She gently introduces the Lost Man back into human society, and the two find themselves getting along better and better. But can the Lost Man ever truly adjust to the human world? Or will he forever express his love by giving dead fish to people? Or is okay, sometimes, to express you love with dead fish?

Why I Like It: This is one of the most bizarre romances I’ve ever read. It sounds like a romance that someone made up for a sitcom. It sounds like a fever dream. It’s absolutely brilliant, too, because Gaffney commits. The Lost Man thinks of everything in animal terms; he accurately identifies Sydney’s aunt as the “dominant female” of the household, he has decided opinions about which animals are neat and which ones are pains in the ass, and he shows his love with a beautiful, freshly caught fish. There’s a real sense of loss in his arc; it’s necessary for him to transition into human society, but he’s also lost a beautiful, meaningful world. His romance with Sydney is also a great version of the Monster Boyfriend story; she’s the one who sees his humanity and recognizes many of his more “animal” traits as positive. The backdrop of the 1893 World’s Columbian Exposition is also charming.

Favorite Scene: Michael reflects on who’s hot (otters) and who’s not (wolverines) in the animal kingdom.

7. To Love and to Cherish by Patricia Gaffney (1995)

Exact Setting: 1850s England.

Premise: Jaded Anne Verlaine moves to the tiny village of Wyckerly after her wildly unhappy and unpleasant husband Geoffrey inherits a viscountcy. They’re greeted by Christian “Christy” Morrell, the local vicar and Geoffrey’s childhood best friend. Christy is dismayed to see the man Geoffrey has become, but he’s even more disconcerted by the attraction he feels for Anne...who returns his feelings.

Why I Like It: Although she stopped writing historical romance in the late nineties, Patricia Gaffney remains one of the most stylistically inventive and emotionally intense authors in the sub-genre. Anne, a warm and witty bohemian atheist, is a wonderfully unique heroine, while the sweet and scrupulous Christy is a similarly refreshing hero (and, really, an ideal clergyman, with high standards for himself and hardly a judgmental thought towards others). Despite the (delicious) angst involved in their relationship, they’re one of the most convincingly happy couples I’ve seen in romance; they don’t just grow close because of sexual chemistry or their shared complicated feelings about Geoffrey, but also because of their shared interests, oddly compatible senses of humor, and respect for each others’ differences. The village of Wyckerly is vividly portrayed, plus Gaffney makes great use of Anne’s writings and correspondence with Christy to shape the narrative.

Favorite Scene: Anne gets angry with Christy for being so good in the face of Geoffrey’s bullshit. 

8. Silk Is for Seduction by Loretta Chase (2011)

Exact Setting: Mid-1830s England and France.

Premise: After emigrating from Paris to London, Marcelline Noirot and her two younger sisters started a dress shop catering to newly rich and middle-class women. Thanks to Marcelline’s innovative designs and her sisters’ sales/accounting skills, they now stand a chance to be the favorite shop of the entire aristocracy...but first they need an early adopter. Help comes in the form of Lady Clara Fairfax, a beautiful but dowdily dressed girl who’s starting to have doubts about her perfect-on-paper betrothed, the Duke of Clevedon. As Marcelline devises a new wardrobe for Clara and spends more time with Clevedon, it becomes more and more clear that Clevedon is perfect...for Marcelline.

Why I Like It: I’m a simple woman; I like elaborate descriptions of over-the-top 1830s fashion. What’s more, I love Marcelline. She’s a fully realized character with interests, talents, and history that have nothing to do with Clevedon; she misses the sweet husband she lost to an epidemic, is anxious to build a future for her young daughter and her sisters, and spends a lot of the book demonstrating her talents in gorgeous detail. Just like the massive gigot sleeves on her dresses, she takes up space. Overall, the romance resembles a really good 1930s romantic comedy; Clevedon is a great straight man, the love triangle is elegantly resolved, and everything just feels beautiful. 

Favorite Scene: In one of the best sex scenes in romance, Marcelline tells Clevedon that she loves him, knows they don’t have a future, and wants him for one last night just the same.

9. The Hostage by Susan Wiggs (2000)

Exact Setting: 1870s USA (Chicago, Illinois and Isle Royale, Michigan)

Premise: Beautiful new-money heiress Deborah Sinclair has always done what’s expected of her. When her aristocratic betrothed shows his true colors, though, she works up the courage to tell her dad that she wants out. Unfortunately, Mr. Sinclair is not receptive...and the Great Chicago Fire of 1871 is literally happening around them...and this random dude just showed up to kidnap her in all the chaos! Before she knows it, she’s on a boat to remote Isle Royale with Tom Silver, a rugged frontiersman who lost many of his friends and his adopted son in a mining accident caused by Mr. Sinclair’s negligence. Because Mr. Sinclair was found not legally liable, Tom has resorted to holding Deborah for ransom. Although he has no desire to harm her, he’s prepared to hate the daughter of his greatest enemy; she’s also not too fond of him, given that he kidnapped her and all. As they wait for Mr. Sinclair’s reply on Isle Royale, however, they get to know each other better.

Why I Like It: I never thought I’d love a kidnapping romance that wasn’t Beauty and the Beast, but Susan Wiggs can sell me on pretty much anything. (It helps that Tom has excellent motives, yet isn’t validated by the narrative for choosing to kidnap Deborah.) This is one of the best adventure-romances that I’ve ever read; much of the first act is an incredibly tense, complicated chase sequence through the flaming inferno of Chicago, while the later chapters consist of their trying to survive together on Isle Royale in the depths of winter. The emotional  journeys of the characters are just as compelling as their physical ones. One of my favorite romance tropes is when one protagonist feels like they should hate the other one, but instead ends up going “wow, this person is obviously not doing okay...wait, am I worried? Should I help them? Actually, I kind of admire them now???” The Hostage has this trope in abundance.

Favorite Scene: The entire part where they’re trapped on Isle Royale together. So many survival details! So cathartic!

10. The Firebrand by Susan Wiggs (2001)

Exact Setting: 1870s USA (Chicago, Illinois)

Premise: Outspoken and awkward, Lucy Hathaway (Deborah Sinclair’s BFF) is a failure at being a lady, but she’s far too passionate about women’s suffrage and dress reform to care (much) about society’s scorn. On the night of the Great Chicago Fire, her world is upended in two ways: her family loses most of their money, and she catches a baby who got thrown out of a burning hotel window. Years later, she’s a kick-ass activist and single mom running a proto-feminist bookstore. Then she learns that her daughter’s father, banker Randall Higgins, is still alive. Once a proud, thoroughly conventional family man, Rand has been a practical recluse since the fire that scarred his face, ended his marriage, and (he thought) killed his daughter. He’s overjoyed to have his daughter back, but now he and Lucy must figure out a way to raise the child that they both love so much.

Why I Like It: I was worried when I began this novel, because Rand starts out as a smug, boring sexist who thinks that a woman’s place is in the home. I would probably hate the book if Rand didn’t end up completely changing his worldview, agreeing with Lucy’s parenting methods, and risking the wrath of his bank colleagues by joining Lucy at a protest. As it is, Rand’s character development is incredibly satisfying, particularly because it’s emotionally realistic. (Instead of being swayed entirely by romantic love or overwhelmed by Lucy’s vast superiority, he learns to see things from her perspective and recognizes that her actions make the world a better place.) Lucy, for her part, is probably one of my top ten heroines. She’s an active, thoroughly engaged progressive who listens to people more marginalized than her without making a big show of it; she’s a thoughtful mom who genuinely likes her weird kid; and she’s got massive insecurities and a stubborn streak that keep her from being too perfect. 

Favorite Scene: Rand sees Lucy’s ideals reflected in their daughter’s response to his kind-of-messed-up face.

Further Note: Is Victorianish my favorite type of historical romance? I think it is!

[crosbys-guccifloral-crocs]

Come Back to Bed

For anon who said: Hi I was wondering if you could do an imagine with Morgan rielly based on the song come back to bed by John Mayer? Love your writing!

Based on Come Back to Bed by John Mayer. (Listening while reading is recommended).

Pairing: Morgan Rielly x reader

Warnings: extreme angst. Mentions cheating

I enjoyed this, a lot. I hope you do too. I cried.

———

Never go to bed angry. Ever. That was one of the major points in yours and Morgan’s relationship. No argument or disagreement is ever bad enough that you can’t work through it. Except this time, you felt it might be.

You knew Mo was under a lot of pressure lately. Vying for the captaincy position on the team, seeing his friends like Bozie and JVR and Leo get traded. This off season was definitely a stressful time for him, but what he had done to you was almost unforgivable— so much so that come the morning after the fight you still hadn’t decided if you even could forgive him.

It started the day before when Willy had shown up at the apartment to take you out for lunch. He was back in town now for the season and you hadn’t seen each other since the playoffs. The two of you had been friends for years, hitting it off during your internship with the Marlies during his first season. In fact, he’s the one that set you up with Mo.

“He’s great,” Willy’d said, “not at all the jealous type like your other douchebag ex. You’ll love this guy. Please just give it a shot?” Willy had asked, attempting to set you up on a blind date.

“Okay, Wills, for you.” You agreed.

And from the first date, you two had really hit it off. Who would have thought two amazing years later you would be living together? All thanks to your best friend.

So you never, ever thought that Morgan would accuse you about something so ludicrous as CHEATING with your BEST FRIEND and his TEAMMATE.

You were totally blindsided by the accusation. You had just come home from a very nice lunch and stroll in Kensington Market to find Morgan sitting at the kitchen island and staring at the apartment door.

“Where have you been?” He asked. No “hello, love. How was your day?” And most certainly no kiss, like usual. Just a cold hard stare and the harshest voice you had ever heard leave his mouth.

Cautiously stepping toward him, unsure of why he was acting so strange, you responded.

“O-out with Willy. Are you okay, Mo? You seem agitated. What’s wrong?”

“Oh, I don’t know, Y/N. Maybe what’s wrong is the fact I came home to an empty apartment with no girlfriend in sight and no text or call telling me where you were!” He shouted. It physically made you flinch and step away from Morgan.

“I- I’m sorry, Morgan. I left you a note. You were just downstairs in the gym. I don’t always tell you where I’m going. Nor do I feel like I need to. You don’t always tell me when you’re out with the guys, so why should I document my every move for you?” You questioned.

“That’s different and you know it! At least you know I’m out with my teammates, not someone random girl or some shit!” He spit back.

“Whoa, first of all, Will is no random guy, and second of all, why are you being like this? What has gotten into you, huh?” You asked, bringing your voice down a notch in an attempt to soothe him. You stepped forward and reached out a hand to touch his face.

He pushed it away and kept talking.

“Did you fuck him?” Morgan spit.

Your eyes widened instantly at the audacity of his question.

“What? Did you seriously just...”

“Just answer. The. Question, Y/N. Are you fucking William?”

“No, Mo. Never, he’s my best friend. But given how you’re acting I may need to start.” You shot back.

“Don’t. Don’t you dare joke about cheating. Or leaving me. This isn’t a joke.”

“Actually I think it’s pretty fucking hilarious, Morgan. Why all of a sudden because of one unsent text message, notifying you of my whereabouts do you think I’m cheating on you? It’s ridiculous!” You replied, rushing into the bedroom to grab some things.

“Where are you going, Y/N? Are you going to run to Willy after one little fight?” He mocked.

“No, Morgan. Believe it or not, running away from your problems is never the solution. But as cliche as this line may be, if you’re going to treat me like a joke, I’m going to leave you like it’s funny. So unless you actually want me to pack my bags and walk away, you better pull your head out of your ass and reevaluate yourself. Quickly. Or I’m done.” You spat slamming the bathroom door to change into your pajamas and washing your face.

When you finished your nightly routine and exited the bathroom, you scanned the apartment for any sign of Morgan. You didn’t hear the door slam, so you assumed he was still here. But, not wanting to go in search of him you simply made the guest room across the hall your bed for the night.

Morgan wanted you to come back to bed. He just wasn’t ready to say it. Or to apologize.

Still is the life

Of your room when you're not inside.

Come morning when he woke, the sheets next to him were cold and unwrinkled. He knew you were awake. He could hear your footsteps down the hall and smell the bacon cooking. He made his way into the kitchen and saw you at the stove with your back turned. He snuck up behind you and wrapped you in his arms. You wanted nothing more than to stay in his embrace and let every angry and sad emotion you felt melt away. But you couldn’t. He had crossed a line, and it wasn’t okay. How could he accuse you of cheating?

To Mo, the silence was deafening. Two days of silence. He just wanted to hear your voice again. To hear his name slip from your lips. To touch you, to hold you.

What will this fix?

You know you're not a quick forgive

I survive on the breath you are finished with.

You weren’t your usual cheery self. There was no music playing. You weren’t singing along to anything or dancing as usual. You just moved around the kitchen, preparing your breakfast. And you certainly didn’t return his “good morning.”

When breakfast was ready, you placed a plate down in front of him and said nothing. You simply sat down across from him and ate your breakfast without a word. When you were finished you gathered up the dishes and carried on with your day.

This charade continued for two days before Morgan finally grew tired enough of it to speak up.

“What are we doing, Y/N?” He asked, seeing you sitting in your reading chair in the living room, looking down at your current book.

“What do you mean?” You replied.

“I mean, you’re here, but you’re not really here, with me. You don’t speak to me, you don’t acknowledge me. It’s as if I’m not even in the same room.”

I'll take back what I said

Just don't leave me alone here

It's cold, baby.

“Would you rather I just leave?” You asked.

“No! God no, of course not. Just do something! Scream, cry, break something. Just show me some kind of emotion! I’m dying here. I need you, baby. I’m so sorry. I know you’d never cheat. I’m just stressed and I took it out on you.” He cried, literally falling to his knees in front of you. Begging to be forgiven.

Don't hold your love over my head

Come back to bed

Come back to bed.

[rue-by-another-name]

10 Reasons to read Marlie B’s ‘Novelty’

Okay, so I’m sure you’ve all already seen me posting about my good, cute, adorable, passionate, smart, sassy friend Marlie ( @hey-marlie ) and her novel - ‘Novelty.’ But I figured I’d just clue you in to some of the things you’re missing and why it’s such an important piece of literature that you should definitely at least sneak a peek at. Marlie is a really talented writer, whether she believes it or not, and I’d love to share this story with the entire world. 

So, that being said, let me just Buzzfeed this bitch and tell you the Top 10 Reasons why YOU should be reading ‘Novelty’ :

1. Fallon Ford - The main character is an aspiring writer working on her senior capstone project. She’s spunky, short, affectionately called a ‘Tiny Demon’ by her ex-best friend (and total hottie). Fallon Ford is a strong and confident woman, and she may be a hot mess in her brain about her writing, but she’s got some serious power moves out there with the way she handles her work life, academic course load, friendships, and free time. Her fashion is kind of basically the cutest mix of vintage boss-ass bitch, and she’s a literal fucking ray of sunshine. We need more more strong female protagonists in our lives, and Fallon’s main goal in this novel isn’t to find a man and be happy - I mean, sure, she’s Out There and Getting It with some total hotties that I will mention later, but her main goal and aspiration is to become the best writer she can be and do her best. And that, my friends, I think is super awesome. 

2. Diversity - The cast of ‘Novelty’ is super diverse and it’s not the kind of diverse that is trying to make a statement, but the kind of subtle diversity that is a part of all our lives and should be talked about more. When asked about her diverse cast of lovely characters, Marlie responded by saying: “initially i don’t really think i noticed that my ‘cast’ per say was quite diverse. my college campus is 50% international students - on a campus of less than 1,000 students - and so having extremely diverse classes, or diverse ‘friend groups’ and all that is super normal. we have a really active lgbtq community, and so that’s a huge norm in my life and so i really wasn’t questioning it until i was pinteresting and realizing that i’ve got a really good group of kiddos that i’m molding to perfection and helping them be the best versions of themselves. so i think it’s obviously important to have representation, and i think it should be second nature that we don’t have to think ‘oh i have to have a character to fill out ____ quota’ because then what’s the real reason you’re doing it, ya feel ? so yeah … definitely a diverse squad, but that’s how it should be. and i’m really happy with the characters i have so far and i’m looking forward to what’s to come ! thanks for the shout out ! it means a lot and it’s good to reflect on these things.” Her characters represent multiple members of the LGBTQ+ community, multiple POC - African American, mixed-race, Vietnamese, Bangladeshi, and Puerto Rican. Marlie also tackles body image and represents all her characters in all shapes and sizes. 

3. Friendship - The friendships in ‘Novelty’ are the kind of healthy relationships with a bit of banter and tough-love that I think we can all learn lessons from. The relationship between best friends and roomies Fallon Ford and February Vale is one for the books. They are supportive of one another, basically co-habitating grannies, who help each other dress, motivate the other in their fields of study, and also find the time to hold each other accountable for their actions and emotions. There’s no judgment, no secrets, and while their friendship is a central part of the novel, it’s not something that Marlie overdoes or feels the need to include in every chapter. It’s authentic and organic, and it’s a great lesson in how a friend can be supportive in multiple situations. Honestly, they’re just super cute, and it’s nice to see how they interact with one another both in private, in public, and respect the other with utmost love and adoration. 

4. The Enemy - The main plot and conflict of the novel comes in the form of a tall drink of water known as Dane Jacobs. He’s a year older than Fallon, a post-graduate teaching assistant at their university, and he and Fallon share quite the history. They’re the best friends to enemies trope wrapped up in an angst blanket that makes your heart throb whenever they’re alone together. But what sets Dane “The Enemy” Jacobs apart from other enemies to potential-lovers trope is that he’s not diminished to an abusive or degrading male who sees the female as inferior to himself. Yeah, the fall out he and Fallon had was not quite the separation many of us would ever want to feel in our lives. But Dane doesn’t put Fallon down in any way when he’s assigned to be her advisor for her project. If anything, their banter and quippy remarks to one another show the deep rooted friendship they once shared, and how their separation from one another since the breaking off of their friendship has impacted them in a more emotional way then they’d care to admit. He still supports her writing and is honest with her - sometimes a bit too honest - and only wants her to do best. He masks it by saying he wants her to do well so he can be graded fairly on his work ethic as a teaching assistant, but I think we can all agree he’s doing it because deep down, he still loves Fallon and wants to see her succeed. Plus, he has an adorable puppy named Watson who makes an appearance whenever we need him most. 

5. Breaking Masculine Norms - Where the obvious pairing a lot of us are hoping for is the reunion of Fallon and Dane, there is one character that has waltzed into Fallon’s life in a big way - Lawyer Tom, the ultimate hottie. Marlie writes Tom in a very specific way - he’s not buff, or strong. He’s a freckly, unruly red-haired, tall and lanky man with bony shoulders and a nose that wrinkles when he laughs. He’s not your typical heartthrob, but he’s mouthwateringly perfect in every single way. He comes into Fallon’s life at a time where her love life is in a bit of disarray, and in the past couple chapters we’ve come to learn that Tom is the gentlemen-status all men should aspire to be. He lets Fallon stay overnight after a night out clubbing and doesn’t expect anything from her but her company over dumplings. He visits her at work when she tells him she’s nervous about getting back to her normal shift. He even finds time to make morning runs with Fallon fun by going out for breakfast quiches at a little cafe every morning. He’s quarting her platonically and it’s so goddamn adorable and quirky. Yeah, they kissed once and it was hot hot hot, but he hasn’t kissed her since and he’s letting her take the relationship at the pace she wants. She’s the one who has to ask him on dates, and he’s the one who’s always justifying her emotions and actions whenever she’s feeling down or insecure. He’s a great support system and is open about his emotions and the fact that his home life hasn’t been the absolute best in the past. He’s confident in his work, is constantly calm and at peace with his surroundings, and enters every situation with grace and poise. Not to mention he has the most amazing relationship with his younger brother Cody, and honestly, is my new ultimate hero. He’s the role model all men should be aspiring to be, and the fact that he’s being so patient and kind and wonderful with Fallon is a huge turn on. 

6. Success in Art - The legendary roommate February Vale is a goddess not only casually in life, but also in the art department. I know this is only a little tiny thing, but February is also in her senior year of university and she’s already had great success in her art career. It’s not often we see characters studying art portrayed as successful, or as having a grip on their education. The concept of the “struggling artist” is romanticized and oftentimes degraded to nothing more than just a hobby. But February expresses everything that’s wonderful about art - immersing yourself in your project, applying to galleries and exhibits, and being raw with your art in a way you sometimes can’t express yourself in words. When February came out as bisexual to her parents, it wasn’t received well and she took those feelings to the canvas, winning her awards and slots in galleries all through London (the characters’ home base). Marlie also never explicitly mentions what kind of art February is most interested in or establishes as her signature, and so I think that is truly important for us as readers to depict what we consider to be successful art and know that it can not only come from a student, but a woman, and a damn wonderful and courageous one at that. 

7. The Banter - One of Marlie’s greatest triumphs in writing is her dialogue. She’s taught me so much about how to find multiple voices in your characters and to embody those personalities within their conversations. The banter between all the characters - primarily the snippy and sometimes crass comments rapidly fired back and forth between Fallon and Dane - is exceptional. The characters come to life through their words and expressions, and it’s a great way to not only connect to the characters yourself, but to really feel as if you’re standing there watching these characters interact. The office scenes between Dane and Fallon are truly amazing, and the flat scenes Fallon and February bring to life are hilarious. You can tell that these characters are can portray different versions of themselves depending on whether they’re in public or in private, and I believe that’s a great attribute to the great writer behind the words. 

8. Pinterest - Per a request from an anon, Marlie has constructed an entire Pinterest account dedicated to storyboarding the personas of her characters. Every outfit mentioned, every studio described, and every action played out by each individual can be found within the boards of the Novelty Pinterest, and is a great outside resource to gaining a better understanding of who these characters are and how Marlie is envisioning them. They’re super fun to scroll through, and I oftentimes find myself going back to the characters mentioned in each chapter and attempting to find the outfits they were wearing, or the coffee shop they were sitting in. Seriously, it’s the absolute most unique thing I’ve ever seen a writer do and I’m fascinated by it. 

9. Updates - Marlie is extremely good at making sure the updates are on time every single week. She updates every Saturday mid-morning and provides her own thoughts on the chapter as well as some insights to her writing mind. If Marlie has received any donations to her ko-fi page that week, she works hard to make sure the updates go up faster. She’s even posted on a Wednesday before. So really, you’re always getting new content and always learning more about the characters and the story, which is really truly wonderful. 

10. Marlie - Obviously I’m going to talk about my girl. Marlie has been writing for ages, but has never really shared anything with anyone in public like this before. She’s taken what little concepts I had about these characters and this world and she’s run with it. I get the most random texts from her at 3am saying she has this great idea for how to develop a specific relationship, or introduce a certain character. She thinks everything through and edits the shit out of whatever she’s written so that it’s pristine by the time it’s published. She works so hard, and she lives with these characters in her mind 24/7. The thought and care that goes into her writing after each chapter and how she interacts with her readers is so important, because she will write paragraphs depicting specific, seemingly minute moments from the previous chapter, only for your mind to be blown as you learn something that you may have missed. She’s a lovely human and cares so deeply for her writing. She’s been helping me for years, YEARS, with my own writing and the fact that she’s out here creating this whole world and community of her own now is fascinating to me. There is nothing this girl can’t do, and I am constantly in awe of each chapter and the emotions I feel even if it’s what she considers a ‘filler’ chapter. She’s a keeper, that’s for sure.

-----

SO, those are the top ten reasons why you should be out there reading ‘Novelty’ and supporting our girl Marlie B. There are so many other reasons why the novel is as amazing as it is, but I think what it all comes down to is having a writer who cares about her readers, cares about her writing, and cares enough to want everything to just make sense. I’ll put all her links below so you can explore it all you want, but let’s support some new writers on here and make sure you’re reblogging what you like. Circulating what you’re reading is so important! And this girl deserves our love for sure. 

Thanks for everyone who is already out here representing our girl and for all the questions and donations you’ve provided for her! She loves it! And she’s going to kill me for posting this! But I love her so freaking much! If anyone ever wants to freak out about each chapter with me, I’m always here to fangirl. No doubt about it. Thanks for your support, everyone! Have a great weekend. 

Read ‘Novelty’ HERE Support Marlie B HERE Find the Pinterest Boards HERE Ask Marlie B a Question HERE

[kyakykreativitylover]

I love OneRepublic

Okay I feel like OneRepublic makes the best shipping songs. 

 Something I need. Works for FlintHamilton and Jouy. 

“ I had a dream the other night About how we only get one life Woke me up right after two Stayed awake and stared at you So I wouldn't lose my mind And I had the week that came from hell And yes I know that you could tell But you're like the net under the ledge When I go flying off the edge You go flying off as well.”

 I mean, my gosh the FlintHamilton feels, especially after the reunion.

“ With broken words I've tried to say Honey don't you be afraid If we got nothing we got us  And if you only die once I wanna die with you ” Perfect for Jouy, considering all the cambian and fallen-angel-on-the-run angst FOR CENTURIES!!

These parts are perfect for both couples.

“ I know that we're not the same But I'm so damn glad that we made it To this time now  If we only live once I wanna live with you.”

It’s the last line that fucks me up because it’s so true for the both of them.

Feel again. Works for Marlie, Jouy and Canon!FlintHamilton. 

If I lose myself. Works for Marlie and Jouy. 

 Counting stars. Works for FlintHamilton and Marlie. 

 I'll edit this at some point to add the key lyrics for each ship, but for now please just think on this. Thanks.

[gleek-runner]

Class 1×8 aka Last time I cried that much was with the Death Cure

The episode where we decide whether Ellie gets to live or not.

1)It’s happening and I’m not ready

2)Okay so the “what’s next” showed Ram’s dad and now in “previously” it showed him and Ram hugging and I’m scared

3)HOW?!WTF?!SHE’S PREGNANT?!

4)April is going to sing!!!Yay!!!

5)Okay she’s no Rachel Berry,but oh my God that’s so good

6)It reminds me of the Middle-Age,back in the time of castles and all

7)It has only been 2 minutes and all I’m getting is angst

8)THERE’S A CRACK

9)My favourite babies are hugging!Go Charlie/April bromance!!!!

10)I’m definetly not ready

11)Back again with the red eyes

12)WAIT NO!

13)RAM’S DAD!!!!

14)NOOOOOOOOO

15)ELLIE NO WHY?!

16)I CAN’T

17)RUN RAM RUN

18)Last time I’m listening to the theme song…I’m not crying

But for the sake of it…

WE GO ON AND ON AND ON AND ON AND ON

19)“He’s gone"OKAY I’M CRYING

20)Matteusz,please tell me nothing bad will happen to you

21)Babies in love

22)Ellie might have a chance at living

23)Aw Charlie is so precious,he cares about everyone

24)Black is the colour of my soul

25)RAM :-(

26)Not Marlie too

27)Please ignore statement number 22

28)Yes make that promise

29)Kiss!Kiss!Kiss!

30)DAMN IT QUILL

31)I have no idea what is going on

32)Please explain

33)Please don’t give her a gun

34)Don’t push it pregnant lady!

35)HURT MY KIDS AND IMMA BEGIN A WAR WITH YOU

36)Tanya be kinder to your mother

37)WHAT?!

38)WHAT?!

39)ELLIE I HATE YOU

40)NOOOOO

41)HER MOTHER GOT IMPALED

42)IF ANY OTHER AWESOME PARENTS DIE I WILL FUCKING KILL SOMEONE

43)Ram dear…he’ll find you everywhere

44)They’ve killed about all the people that matter to Ram,I understand why he’s angry

45)What is this show doing to me?I swear I hadn’t had so many feels since The Death Cure

46)NO

47)LET APRIL’S MUM GO YOU SHADOW THINGY

48)Yeah take your unborn children into battle,Quill.What a wonderful idea!

49)Tanya baby!

50)I just learned that April’s mother’s name is Jackie.Why didn’t I notice that earlier?

51)If this episode wasn’t so sad,I would be a slut for Quill as a mother figure

52)Awwwwww

53)Tanya just realised Quill is pregnant

54)Well tough luck Tanya dear, everyone wants to use the cabinet!

55)It’s a class circle

56)Tanya is not thinking straight

57)DON’T YOU DARE

58)Matteusz is worried and so am I

59)CHARLIEEEEEEEEEE NOOOOOOO

60)FUCK NO!MATTEUSZ WILL NOT BE NUMBER 5

61)FUCK

62)THIS WAS WHY ELLIE WAS SO WORRIED

63)But wait he has only killed two…FUCK

64)Okay there’s now a shadow in Charlie’s heart and this can not end well

65)Oh how wonderful!My two faves will probably die!

66)It is pretty hopeless

67)Yes because Ram and April running away will solve everything

68)We’re not even half way there and I’m crying

69)At least the scene with Charlie pointing a gun at Dorothea is funny

70)Yes,she does know a lot of things she shouldn’t

71)SLAY CHARLIE SLAYYYYY

72)SLAY MARLIE SLAYYYYYY

73)I think the fact that April had alien blood in her veins sort of played a part in her being so badass

74)Jesus Christ?

75)Oh look!Another crack!

76)Oh fuck,Tanya saw her brothers

77)OH FOR BRENDON URIE’S SAKE

78)He kills two at the same time now?!

79)THIS WAS JUST CRUEL

80)TANYA KICKED THE SHADOW THINGY!OH MY GOD HER BROTHERS MIGHT NOT DIE

81)SLAY QUILL SLAYYYYY

82)MARLIE!MARLIE!MARLIE!

83)"Please don’t go where I can’t follow"WHEN DID THIS BECOME STAR WARS?!BLOODY HELL

84)"We have a problem"no shit Sherlock

85)Quill is going to teach Tanya how to fight!!!

86)Sarcasm is one’s self defense

87)Quill’s hormones are kicking in

88)Ram is gone and I want him to drag his lazy arse back here and help

89)Yeah April probably admits that she loves Ram because…well they are going to die

90)Charlie realised that Tanya is with Quill and is shocked af

91)YES TANYA WHEN YOU PUT IT THAT WAY IT SOUNDS BAD BUT GUESS WHAT?RAM LOST HIS DAD AND HIS GIRLFRIEND BUT YOU DON’T SEE HIM WANTING TO SACRIFISE APRIL,JACKIE AND CHARLIE

92)What is going on with April?

93)YES MATTEUSZ TALK SOME SENSE HERE!

94)BECAUSE QUILL HAS GOTTEN INTO YOUR BRAIN AND IF CA:CW HAS TAUGHT US ANYTHING IS THAT REVENGE IS NOT THE ANSWER.

You do not fight genocide with genocide

95)Honey,I was 14 too and I know better than to act when I’m angry

96)Oh you stopped shouting now?

97)NO FUCK NO FUCK THIS SHIT I’M OUT

98)SHADOW THINGY GOT MY SON

99)HE GOT MATTEUSZ

100)FUCCCCCKKKKKKKKKK

101)Ram heard the message…thank Heavens

102)BACK AGAIN WITH THE SHADOW THINGY AND MATTIE

103)ELLIE I SWEAR TO GOD I’LL STOP TALKING TO YOU

104)CHARLIE AND I WILL KILL THE SHADOW KIN TOGETHER

105)Fuck April is here too

106)RAM PLEASE COME BACK

107)April wants to sacrifise herself…omg I can’t

108)OH FOR GOD’S SAKES WHY ARE ALWAYS MY FAVOURITES SUFFERING?

109)When I said I wanted more bromance between April and Charlie I did not mean it like that

110)No don’t kill April!

111)WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL?!

112)HOW DID THEY INVADE THEIR SHADOWS?!

113)THIS IS SO HARD AND EMOTIONAL

114)I’M SOOOOO CONFUSED

115)NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

116)I’M DONE

117)I’M SOOOOO DONE

118)MY DAUGHTER IS DEAD

119)APRIL IS DEAD AND I’M DYING TOO

120)RAM IS HERE AND HE’S PROBABLY ALSO MENTALLY DYING LIKE I AM

121)WHAT THE FUCK?!

122)WHAT THE FUCK?

123)NO!

124)FUCKING NO

125)FUCK NO

126)FUCKING FUCKITY FUCK

127)ΤΙ ΜΑΛΑΚΙΕΣ ΕΙΝΑΙ ΑΥΤΕΣ ΓΑΜΩ ΤΟ ΣΠΙΤΙ ΣΑΣ?!ΠΟΙΟΣ ΠΑΠΑΡΑΣ ΣΚΕΦΤΗΚΕ ΑΥΤΕΣ ΤΙΣ ΜΑΛΑΚΙΕΣ ΜΗΝ ΧΕΣΩ?!ΓΑΜΩ ΤΟ ΣΠΙΤΙ ΣΑΣ! ΓΑΜΩΤΟ ΜΟΥ!ΤΙ ΣΤΟ ΔΙΑΟΛΟ?!ΔΕΝ ΤΟΝ ΔΕΧΟΜΑΙ!ΑΡΝΟΥΜΑΙ ΝΑ ΔΕΧΤΩ ΤΕΤΟΙΕΣ ΠΑΠΑΡΙΕΣ!

128)I KNOW RAM!I KNOW THAT CHARLIE KILLED HER BUT OH MY GODDDDDD

129)FUCKING HELL

130)*spits out tea*CHARLIE IS NOW THE KING?!

131)OH MY GOD NO

132)HE’S GONNA USE THE CABINET

133)FUCKING HELL

134)FUCK EVERYTHING

135)FUCK

136)MATTEUSZ IS ME AGAIN!PLEASE DON’T!!!!

137)NOOOOO I CAN’T LOSE MY SON TOO

138)YES CHARLIE!MATTEUSZ IS RIGHT!PLEASE DON’T DO THIS

139)ELLIE I HATE YOU SO MUCH RIGHT NOW

140)I’M CRYING

141)THE SHADOW THINGY ALMOST STRUCK QUILL RIGHT IN THE BELLY!

142)THANK GOD TANYA KNOCKED HIM OUT!I CAN’T HANDLE MORE DEATHS

143)NOOOOOOO

144)I’M CRYING

145)APRIL’S DEAD AND HER MOTHER KNOWS

146)I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING TO ME

147)I’M NEVER SPEAKING TO YOU AGAIN!(YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE)

148)IS HE ALIVE?

149)OH MY BLOODY HELL CHARLIE IS STILL ALIVE

150)PLEASE BE ALRIGHT

151)NEVERMIND FALSE ALARM…HE’S DYING

152)FUCK

153)FUCKITY FUCK

154)YES MISS QUILL SAVE MY BABY CHARLIE!!!

155)WAIT NO!

156)THAT WENT TO RAM WTF?!

157)Is this Heaven or a church?

158)I don’t give a fuck about Dorothea and her beliefs,I want to know what is happening to my children!

159)"Then it is a shame"that the poor groom’s bride is a whore

160)What the hell was that statue?

161)What is even the Arrival?

162)"What happened?!"I’ve been asking the same thing since the very beginning

163)MY BABY CHARLIE IS ALIVE

164)HE’S TRAUMATISED BUT ALIVE

165)What the bloody hell?A SHADOW THINGY GOT UP

166)Oh fuck it isn’t a shadow thingy…it’s the Shadow Thingy

167)WHAT THE FUCK?!

168)I WAS FURIOUS AND CRYING AND NOW I’M JUST LAUGHING

169)The Shadow Thingy is April holy fuck

170)Holy fuck,Ellie might live after all

171)Actually screw that because it’s over

172)Is there going to be a season 2?

173)I swear if there isn’t,I’m going to explode

I think we took some important lessons today:

-Do not let me get into new fandoms

-Ellie is evil

-I swear a lot when anxious

-I’m super mad and sad

-Ellie is evil

I also need a hug :-(

[mattbrothersscriptwriter]

My Top 20 Films of 2018 - Part One

Hello people, time to once again resurrect this defunct blog to ramble about some films again. You may notice a trend if you scroll back through.

OK so I saw a BUNCH of movies this year, thanks again in part to some fantastic arts cinemas, film festivals (well, Sundance London and Frightfest) and yet another banner year for Netflix original content. There were many I didn’t catch like A Star is Born, First Reformed, Aquaman, BlackkKlansman etc but for my FULL ranking of all 135 films I did manage to see, as always go to my letterboxd list here - https://letterboxd.com/matt_bro/list/films-of-the-year-2018-1/

Alrighty then, let’s kick things off:

20. A Quiet Place

As a writer who is hugely inspired by high concept ideas with a grounding in genre, it thrilled me no end to see this ‘elevator pitch’ of a thriller do so well, both critically and commercially. Set in a world where making the slightest noise means certain death from these horrifying, Starship Trooper looking motherfucking bug aliens, we follow a desperate family trying to survive and all the hardships that entails when communication is cut down to a bare minimum.

Of course, this film – which in the wrong hands with a lesser script could easily devolve into a Birdemic style mess – has a helping hand right out the gate in both the star power and gravitas of Emily Blunt and the assured (almost TOO assured) direction of co-star John Krasinski. Their performances ground the action superbly (along with the excellent, actually deaf newcomer Millicent Simmonds) and the tension can be cut with a knife for practically the entire runtime. Famously, people’s enjoyment of the film usually came down to how well behaved their cinema audiences were, which is perhaps the most cruellest of circumstances because the irony is that this is a film that simply must be seen with a rapt audience in a huge dark room… but the second anyone breaks the unwritten code of the cinema, the illusion is shattered. Luckily, within the first three minutes, my crowd were practically holding their breath to maintain the silence. And when I felt a sneeze coming on, let me tell you, that was maybe the scariest moment of the lot!

A tense thrill ride with a genuine ‘why didn’t I think of that’ premise, A Quiet Place is another runaway success for modern horror and I truly hope the inevitable sequels don’t fuck with it’s power.

19. Avengers: Infinity War

Inevitable spoilers for the ending of Infinity War below:

The blockbuster to end all blockbusters, this culmination of ten years of the MCU was a huge triumph, somehow managing to juggle a billion characters jostling for screen-time via some savvy scripting and a focus on a core combination of story strands; namely Thor’s personal journey of revenge, the last stand at Wakanda, Tony’s crew misadventures in space and Thanos being ingeniously positioned as the protagonist. For a mainstream Disney movie to essentially end with the villain winning, there were perhaps no bigger statement this year than the words ‘Thanos Will Return’ at the end of the credits, cementing the fact that while we thought we had been watching a fun, superhero greatest hits package, we’d actually been watching the story of an ambitious, driven individual overcome the odds and claim his victory over all those pesky superheroes. Yes, his plan might be insane but you have to hand it to him; he did it. He actually did it. 

This being a comic book movie - with at least a further ten years of comic book movies to come - obviously means that what is done can always be undone but still, this climax provided such a stark (pun intended) resolution that it left half of my audience in stunned silence and the other half in tears.

Outside of the game changing finale, the film has a lightning pace and a whole host of fun set pieces, characters colliding (hello Rocket meets Bucky) and a real sense of... at least occasional... intimacy that somehow doesn’t get completely swallowed up by the spectacle.

18. Annihilation

Now here is a fascinatingly original sci-fi movie that I just was utterly transfixed and terrified by. Much like Jonathan Glazer’s mesmerising Under the Skin, this jettisoned much of the source novel (outside of the general premise and characters) in favour of a stronger focus on the things that a visual medium can really excel at, namely atmosphere, tone and deeply disconcerting visuals/sound design. I quite enjoyed Jeff VanderMeer’s book but this feels like a much more authored and singular vision. Book weirdness has been replaced by movie weirdness and it actually ends up feeling like a true adaptation and if any book truthers are upset, believe me it could have been so much worse. 

A group of scientists, led by a stoic Jennifer Jason Leigh, including Natalie Portman, Gina Rodriguez and Tessa Thompson, venture into ‘the shimmer’, a baffling electromagnetic field surrounding a crashed alien meteor. Each has their reasons for volunteering for this suicide mission and they are soon faced with the simply unknowable machinations of this particular alien biology, leading to some incredibly memorable encounters, not least of which is a nightmarish mutant bear attack. The practically wordless finale is something I WISH I could have seen for the first time on the big screen.

Eerie, haunting and a miracle of mid-budget, practically distribution-less filmmaking, this is one I can see revisiting many times over and I continue to be obsessed over anything Alex Garland is involved with.

17. Anna and the Apocalypse

Now here’s a surprise. And a delight. And a goddamn joyful burst of sunshine in a bleak bleak world. I went along to see this at the Frightfest Film Festival in August and boy did it deliver. It’s a (*huge breath*)  super independent, low budget, Scottish, high school, coming of age, zombie comedy… Christmas… musical! That’s too many things, I hear you say! And normally you may be right but this film has so much heart, so many breakout stars, so many ingenious, human moments, that it transcends the hurdles of it’s genre mashup trappings and actually works dammit.

The film follows Anna (a wonderful, future star in the making Ella Hunt) who falls out with her father (Mark Benton, the heart and soul of the piece) when she tells him that when school finishes, she’d rather go travelling than go to university. Dad being Dad, he’s appalled at the notion and though he clearly has her best interests at heart, their relationship has been strained since Anna’s mother died and this conflict soon gets ugly. Joining her in this teenage angst are her friends; John (Malcolm Cumming), her best friend who is hopelessly in love with her, Steph (Sarah Swire – who pulls double duty as the film’s choreographer) a gay American outcast, Chris (Christopher Leveaux) a struggling filmmaker and Lisa (Marli Siu), Chris’ girlfriend and talented singer. Together, they butt heads with the panto villainy of the hilarious, scene stealing, scenery chewing Paul Kaye as the maniacal headmaster Mr Savage. Then of course, comes the ultimate spanner in the works… a zombie apocalypse.

As the film pivots from charming high school/slice of life melodrama to genuinely threatening zombie horror comedy, we cannot forget about the musical numbers (!), which are all pretty uniformly catchy as hell, singalong ready and really fucking integral to the entire emotional arc. You start out laughing as Anna sings her way to school completely oblivious to the zombie uprising happening behind her but by the time she’s singing a powerful duet with her father during the finale, there won’t be a dry eye in the house either. It’s a credit to the consistent tone and solid performances that the whole thing doesn’t descend into an overlong sketch and it’s the core relationships that make you care and give weight to the heavier moments in the second half.

It’s funny, smart, endlessly rewatchable and bound to be a new Christmas staple but above all else, it earns it’s emotional gut punches, marrying showtunes with real, life or death stakes that the film doesn’t fuck about with or ignore. People die here, sometimes unfairly but that’s the key to a great zombie flick. And if nothing else, you’ve got bad boy Nick (a stand out Ben Wiggins) shepherding his gang of idiot lads lads lads as they gleefully smash zombie heads in whilst singing “when it comes to killing zombies, I’m the top of my class!”. 

The year’s best kept secret and a real hidden gem. Seek it out.

16. Black Panther

Ryan Coogler man… Ryan fucking Coogler. 

Fruitvale Station and Creed are both five star movies to me and while this foray into the Marvel machine didn’t quite hit those heights, I think he did the best job he could have in blending his own style, ethos and interests with another chapter in the MCU – a production line rather famous for (until recently) stamping out individuality in favour of the bigger, uniformed picture. Sometime around Phase 2, we were getting somewhat bland creative choices like Alan Taylor (Thor: The Dark World) and losing auteurs like Edgar Wright (initially set for Ant Man) but after the success of the nutty, bold and gleefully anarchic Guardians of the Galaxy, it’s like the flood gates opened, Kevin Feige learned the lesson of diversity and taking bold risks in his directors and suddenly we had a mostly improvised Thor movie from idiosyncratic Kiwi Taika Waititi and then Black Panther.

Having introduced the character in Captain America: Civil War, this film was free to dive right in – and what a world we’re introduced to, one full of colour, afro-futurist designs and the grand daddy of Marvel villains (in my eyes) in the form of Coogler’s lucky charm, Michael B. Jordan, as Killmonger. Here was a man who believed himself abandoned and betrayed by his own people - his own family - who had massively different ideas about what Wakanda’s secretive technological advancements could do for other marginalised societies around the world. Of course, this being a comic book, his plan inevitably boils down to arming terror factions but in theory, it did address the imbalance and selfishness of the Wakandan people.

Outside of some dodgy super suit vs super suit CG fight scenes and some rather silly battle scenes involving rhinos, this was the most engaging and confident Marvel movie in some time, with the aforementioned B. Jordan and T’Challa himself Chadwick Boseman being supported by a whos who of incredible performers, from Letitia Wright and Lupita Nyong’o to Daniel Kaluuya and Andy Serkis.

15. The Square

This film killed me. It’s so very very dry in its humour and nearly every scene plays out in these often painfully long takes but it never fails in making every moment that bit funnier as a result, swinging right round from awkward to cringe back to hilarious again. From Christian’s (Claes Bang) repeated encounters with a very angry child to a deliriously off-kilter Elisabeth Moss fighting for control of a used condom, there’s a Curb-like immaturity to many of the sequences here that clash with the high brow, art world characters that populate it.

Not to mention one of the scenes of the year - period - as Terry Notary terrorises an elitist crowd of poshos, descending into performance art hijinks as he embodies a roaming Gorilla. Becoming genuinely threatening as the line between acceptable “art” and full blown menace gets increasingly blurred, the reactions (or lack thereof) from many of the crowd says much more than words maybe ever can.

14. Summer of 84

Another genre hit that I caught at Frightfest, this is the follow up to one of my favourite films of 2015: Turbo Kid. Directed once more by RKSS (the group moniker for François Simard, Anouk Whissell and Yoann-Karl Whissell) the film seems to operate, at first glance, in the same territory as their previous movie (aka as a horror influenced, 80s throwback) but it is treated with a completely different tone. Whereas Turbo Kid is ‘Mad Max on BMXs made like an 18 rated Saturday morning cartoon’, this plays like a much straighter Stephen King style pulp thriller. 

The comparisons to Stranger Things are inevitable (group of nerdy teenage boys, suburbia, bikes etc) but unfair. This story doesn’t wallow in nostalgia, rather it is played like a film from the 80s rather than knowingly about the 80s. Yes there are references but they aren’t shoehorned in and it doesn’t take long for the central mystery to take centre stage. A little bit Rear Window, it follows these goofy teenagers (all unknowns to my eyes, all equally brilliant and believable) who begin to suspect that their homely, cop neighbour (Mad Men’s Rich Sommer) is actually a serial killer. It’s to the film’s credit that the outcome of this central question – is he or isn’t he – teeters back and forth so well for so long... that by the time it nosedives into a nasty, pulpy final act - taking the conventions you’ve come to expect and beating you into the ground with them - your heart will be so far in the back of your throat that you won’t notice. And again, another classy retro score from Le Matos helps tie this all together. 

A genuine change of pace from RKSS, despite the continued 80s fixation, and further proof that they have many more tricks up their sleeve.

13. First Man

Along with Ryan Coogler, Damian Chazelle is the other wunderkid whose career has been producing nothing but five star films for me (well, Whiplash and La La Land; I haven’t seen his actual debut). And First Man, like Black Panther, is another one that gets really close to perfection but falls slightly short. Having said that, I definitely think I like First Man a lot more than the general audience consensus. People have complained about its insular, intimate focus on a rather dull, introverted lead subject and the nauseating treatment of space travel but I loved both of these elements. 

This is less a film about triumphantly going to the moon and waving a flag around and more about a grieving man who is so out of touch with his own emotions that he a) speaks to his own children as if he’s attending a press conference and b) is hurting so internally that rather than talk to anyone about the loss of his daughter, he’d rather make the dangerous, unprecedented, insane mission to a cold, dead rock about as far away from anyone as you can get. That feeling - of wanting to shut yourself away from literally everyone - is universal. The actualisation of it - man goes to moon - is personal. And made history. And having the foresight to connect that emotional journey of Neil Armstrong with the otherwise feel-good true story of astronauts (and America!) winning the space race is genius. 

Add to that compelling supporting turns from everyone from Claire Foy, Kyle Chandler, Christopher Abbott and Shea Wigham, another dynamite score from long-time collaborator Justin Hurwitz and some nerve shredding rocket based set pieces and what you have is a fresh direction for Chazelle to take and one that I think we be re-evaluated in the years to come when his filmography expands to much more than just jazz-infused dramas.

12. Phantom Thread

This film is just gorgeous. A riveting character study of a supremely difficult man, Phantom Thread portrays a constant battle for dominance in a troubled yet surprisingly cinematic relationship. Vicky Krieps and Lesley Manville give as good as they get from Daniel ‘this is my last film, I swear’ Day-Lewis, an undeniable acting giant who effortlessly breathes as much life into Reynolds Woodcock here as he did Daniel Plainview before, in his last collaboration with Paul Thomas Anderson. 

Beautifully shot with another fantastic score from Johnny Greenwood, this one really feels like old school movie magic, like a lost melodrama from the 50s but with a modern mentality bubbling underneath, ready to blow it’s top at the mere, ear-splitting scrape of butter on toast.

11. Widows

Who’d have imagined the director of Hunger, Shame and 12 Years a Slave would be the one to team up with Gone Girl’s Gillian Flynn to deliver one of the best action thrillers of the year? 

Adapted from the 80s TV mini-series and given a modern makeover, this film wastes no time getting right to the important stuff as Liam Neeson’s latest heist takes a deadly turn, leaving the widows of him and his crew to deal with the fallout of the failed money grab. Forced into desperate action to pay off their debts, Viola Davis leads this mismatched group of women into the belly of the beast. The cast in this thing is insane - even outside the main players (Elizabeth Debicki, Michelle Rodriguez, Cynthia Erivo) you have Colin Farrell, Bryan Tyree Henry (having one hell of a year), Daniel Kaluuya, Robert Duvall, Carrie Coon, Jacki Weaver, Garrett Dillahunt... not a weak link amoung them.

It’s clear that McQueen is a master storyteller and this is a supremely exciting and suspenseful thriller that if nothing else, adds fuel to my ‘Jon Bernthal shared universe’ fan-theory, haha. Imagine, if you will, that he plays the same character in this as he does in Baby Driver. In both films, he takes part in an opening heist and then disappears for the rest of the movie. In Baby Driver, as he’s walking off after a job well done, he says that if you don’t see him again, he’s probably dead. Cut to him joining up with Neeson on THIS job and promptly getting blown to pieces. 

Boom.

COMING UP - star shaped earrings, reloading biceps, fish sex and a mutant pig