#i freaking love video essays man

[semiotomatics]

genuinely the best video on asexuality ive ever seen, and ive seen a LOT of videos on asexuality

[aroanthy]

the symbolism of revolutionary girl utena is key to understanding what it’s even trying to say narratively and thematically. if you remove the symbolism, if you remove the ways in which the narrative obfuscates itself and abstracts what it’s saying, then what it is saying changes dramatically. if rgu was like ‘yeah lol and did you guys know that incest is bad’ or ‘maybe gay people are good’ or ‘hey did you know that csa victims are Real and Alive and Have Interiority’— like those are all paraphrases of things that it says, but the way that it chooses to say them is so powerful and conveys so much nuance and complexity that those simplistic statements don’t. it provides an incredibly meaningful commentary on the way that systemic violence and abuse are covered up, codified, made part of our culture that supposedly resents those things. it’s examination of incest, the incest taboo and how that impacts incest victims— it’s all so incredibly considered and layered because the show chooses to convey what it’s saying through symbolism, through its metatheatrical framing, through allegory. it retains the reality of these issues; it shows them to us only when we’ve already bought into the system’s lies to make a point about how that operates, how that works to make us all complicit in that violence. nanami. nanami.

dont even get me started on how the movie uses its symbolism to demonstrate how the abuse anthy and touga experienced is simultaneously built into the world and culture they exist in, and always obfuscated and abstracted for the sake of their abusers (also specifically the way that it engenders shame and prevents people from seeking help. rgu is so damn good at understanding how and why people don’t ‘do what they should’ in abusive situations: the systems in place don’t fucking work bc they are an extension of the system built upon that abuse). anthy is the model in all the paintings, the symbol of so many undesirable things, the canvas on which they are painted. her likeness is used as an approximation for all of these awful things, many of which are a part of her in a way, but such that her interiority, her feelings, are never regarded, never seen, never understood. she’s the model. akio is never explicitly named as her painter.

[paranoiddreams]

Boyfriend Sukuna! (HC)

𖤓 Sukuna x gn!reader

𖤓 Warnings!! - explicit language, mentions of killing and crime in general lol, general filthiness in a few of them bc it’s Sukuna, a hint of toxicity 😜,

𖤓 A/n!! - gonna make this a series, I think I’m gonna do either Satoru or Toji next, lmk what you guys think :3

- He LOOOOVES a good argument, especially if it’s escalated to a screaming match

- Only because it turns him on so much when someone has the BALLS to speak up to him.

- He’s a very physical person, so expect to be bit, squeezed, yanked, or picked up by this monster of a man at any time of the day.

- Speaking of, he’s a tough-strong-killer during the day, and a cuddle bug at night. But not like you’re thinking. I’m talking full on manhandling you into a fetal position on his chest so he can wrap all of his arms around you.

- Definitely the type of guy who always has to have some sort of physical contact with you at all times. Whether it’s an arm around your waist, or your hand wrapped around his pinky, he needs to feel that you’re right next to him.

- He’s not going to apologize, at least verbally. So don’t expect those two words. But, do expect the most lavish dresses/suits, jewelry, food fit for a whole Royal family, and good ass sex.

- If we’re talking Heian!Sukuna, he’s going to use 80% of his money on custom tailored fancy silk clothing in all colors and designs for you. He’ll have the royal tailor come every other week to measure you and get all of your requests, and then a day later the softest, most beautifully made clothes come in fancy boxes.

- And if we’re talking Modern!Sukuna, I feel like he’d make a good income on killing, stealing, and finessing people (lmao) so he’ll use most of that on shit for you. Even the most girly, cutesy, hello-kitty-esque things, he’ll just grimace and shove the cash in your hands (bc I see this man using ONLY cash). Although, this takes a while for him since I feel he’s more cautious in modern times with everyone, including you at first.

- Speaking of, he knows your body like the back of his four hands babe. He knows because he’s dedicated most of his time to making you cum I’m so many different ways, seeing which feels the best for you. Sometimes, he’ll use the more torturous, slow methods, but when you’re being a brat, he’ll use the quickest methods to draw the most orgasms out of you that he can🤧

- Has literally said: “The two things I have dedicated myself to the most in life is bloodshed and pleasuring you.”

- Does he call you “woman” constantly? Yes. Does it cause little arguments from time to time? Absolutely. But you’ve upgraded to a few “babe”s and “Love”s from time to time!😄

- Sukuna realized he was in love with you when he realized in a moment of intimacy that life is just so much easier with you. He’s always detested the thought of being “chained down” or “settling down” with someone, but with you, that thought doesn’t even cross his mind.

- Enough with that SAPPY SHIT—he fully does not understand your Five Nights at Freddy’s obsession. All he knows is it’s a horror video game, and whenever you hear someone bring it up you start freaking out.

- But he mayhaps have watched a full 2 hour video essay about the lore on YouTube one night to humor you🙏🏻

- He is the embodiment of one sided enemies to lovers. Like you’re fully down for his monstrous ass, but he’s over here beefing with you in his head 😭

- It’s only bc he knew it was all over the moment he heard your voice😞

- This man is lowkey a stalker, but you’re chill with it. He’s always got his eyes on you, and his heightened senses allow him to smell and feel you from miles away.

- If he’s not physically around, he has his “connections” as he calls them. They’re mainly local criminals and homeless people he pays to keep an eye on you (check out this post by @emphistic to hear more on this concept!!)

- Overall toxicity scale: 9 Sukuna fingers out of 20. If we’re being generous (˶˃⤙˂˶)

[chaosmax]

Many thanks to @rewuyuu for the commission!

hello everyone do you have a moment to learn about Sampo and Jing Yuan friendship propaganda because IN THIS ESSAY I WILL--

(based on that one Jason Momoa meme, because this is so their energy)

Edit: said essay--

(obligatory these are just personal headcanons of a friend and mine other interpretations are valid)

-They both go :3 they are both some of the few characters that make that face and it is adorable.

-They both conceal their true deeper feelings behind teehee funny man/lax eepy personas [this is assuming the Funny Bone video is canon to Sampo. It was made for Hoyofair but Hoyoverse showcased it in the Live concert event so I consider that canon until Hoyoverse says otherwise]

-On the topic of that both had a tight-knit group of friends they hung out with when they were younger and were ride or die with. Unfortunately, this turned out to be die as all of their friends died (some of the HCQ are still alive but are either reincarnated or so changed/driven mad from Mara the version Jing Yuan knew had died) while Sampo and Jing Yuan were the only one out of their pals to survive.

-But both had to move on and continue to anyway, whether they wanted to or not

-Due to these things in common they would understand and relate to each other in a deep, meaningful way that few others in their lives could. There would be a certain level of liberty to their friendship because of it. They'd be able to release pent-up emotions and trauma as well as sympathize and empathize with each other. They'd be able to support each other and trust each other with the burdens of their pasts because of it. While not easy for these topics to come up initially, once they did they would find a safe space in each other for these topics. And from this would form a strong bond of trust.

-Not to mention Sampo would be a great way for master strategist ™️ Jing Yuan to keep tabs on what is happening throughout the galaxy in other places or gain valuable information for the Xianzhou Alliance. AND as Jing Yuan has expressed a lot his daily life is quite boring and loves to hear tales from the Astral Express's adventures he'd also love to hear all the wild antics Sampo gets up to because you KNOW Sampo has some wild tales to tell

-In happier news Sampo is very outwardly mischievous while Jing Yuan is also hella sneaky but in a different way usually. But when put together they bring out the utter gremlin in each other and are constantly messing with each other or having a prank war but it's all in good fun. It makes them both genuinely laugh a lot, breathing new life into their days.

-Also Mimi is either really affectionate with Sampo or bullying him (safely and gently) but it freaks Sampo out because she so beeeg. Jing Yuan finds it hilarious.

[fordtato]

hello!!!!! :D I freaking love your video essays I rewatch all of them like. once every 4 months lol. and then I am horribly ill about stan and Ford for a week. the way of nature.

ANYWAY for an ask I was wondering what aspects or character arcs of gravity falls you wish were explored more? or an aspect/character arc you think was handled especially well? hope I worded that okay xP

or another question I have that's completely unrelated to gravity falls but oh well: what are your top 5 albums or songs of all time?

This is so fucking nice!!!! Thank you for watching and rewatching my videos, that means a lot to me.

Re: arcs, this is hard to answer because the thing I would have said a week ago is that I wish they explored the abuse Ford suffered from Bill more, but like!! It looks like they provide that in TBoB! And OH BOY DO I LOVE THAT THERE! I do wish they did more with Wendy in general though - that girl exists as a cool prop, but doesn't actually do much before Weirdmageddon. I love her, don't get me wrong, but she doesn't reach her potential.

I also wish we got more fleshed out aspects of Ford adapting to the 21st century/life after the multiverse. Seems like a missed opportunity. Like I want to see him be confounded by how an air fryer works, goddamit.

As for favorite albums/songs, that is really hard but going by what I've listened to a bunch recently, I think Hold On to Your Heart by Man Man, anything on the album Spirit Phone by Lemon Demon, anything by Megan Thee Stallion, the song Whatsername by Green Day (and anything on their album Insomniac), and the song Boys will be Bugs by Cavetown. And probably a million songs I'll think of right after I hit post on this.

[lucky-clover-gazette]

Obligatory Volo romantic/🥰 hc?

well if you INSIST (assuming the romance is with the player character here. also keeping these pretty positive and healthy, even though obviously there are plenty of uhhhh messier hcs to be made for this character specifically. i think tumblr will auto-shorten this post but please let me know if it doesn't and i'll add a cut)

in general, any iteration of volo wishes to demonstrate his devotion and usefulness to his partner through action. while he imagines a lot of grand gestures, it usually ends up being pretty mundane in practice. like getting things off tall shelves and tidying up a living space (he's a total neat freak). the exception is volo in a canon divergence where he actually becomes a god, in which case every gesture would be a grand gesture, and it probably gets out of hand

it's extremely important to him that togepi/togetic/togekiss loves his partner. he is genuinely so concerned about this, and fears what would happen if she didn't, despite togepi/tic/kiss being the literal embodiment of joy and love. this insecurity almost certainly stems from the fact that he still can't believe that togepi/tic/kiss loves him

he has read a lot of books and he loves to hear himself talk. also, he's been method acting for like five straight years and makes a living selling people things. the man has a way with words, take that as you will

he's a strict vegetarian (also doesn't eat eggs) for ethical reasons and knows how to cook extremely well to fit his dietary needs. one might expect him to be an "i'll eat a chicken because a chicken would eat me" kind of guy, but because humans have higher intelligence and the capacity for morality, volo holds them to higher standards than animals. therefore, it wouldn't be wrong for a chicken to eat him, but it would be wrong for him to eat a chicken. anyway this is a romantic headcanon because he really really loves to share his cooking, especially if it's a traditional recipe he found while researching history

he has a naturally pleasant singing voice and near-perfect pitch. the volo i write grew up on the mainland and came to hisui as a young adult, so i like to think that he grew up playing the piano and is very skilled, although out of practice. he occasionally hums or sings in front of his partner and it's very nice to hear

he knows how to sew and offers to help the player character make some modern clothing garments they miss from the future. also makes some clothing for them based on his own ideas, because he thinks they would look nice dressed up to his tastes :)

doesn't half-ass anything, especially not in terms of relationships. if he says it's casual, it's because his partner asked to keep it casual and he wants to respect their boundaries and honor their wishes, which is within itself something he does with intention and care

he is simultaneously very aware of the fact that he's beautiful in situations where it benefits him, and completely blindsided by his partner's unprompted acknowledgements of his beauty

loves going on hours-long walks with his partner and sharing/listening to enthusiastic diatribes about niche interests. bonus if the interest is totally unfamiliar to the other person. basically, ancient sinnoh video essays

he likes having regularly-occuring shared activities to look forward to. like, weekly game nights with his partner or taking their pokemon to battle at the training grounds as a team when they know some highly-skilled opponents are going to be there

likewise, he just really likes battling as a team. like if he and his partner run into the bandits in the wild, it's a genuine pleasure, because it means he gets to wield train his pokemon alongside someone on his level (also he likes being the hero sometimes, especially if he's upstaging arceus's chosen hero)

volo loves pda for several reasons: he's touch-starved, he's possessive, and he's a performer at heart

some fourth wall breakage, as a treat: he'd absolutely read romantic fanfiction about himself and leave multi-paragraph comments making corrections and highlighting lines he particularly appreciated

[kitsaystransrights]

It'sa me, Kit!

Woah, hey, you can make pinned posts! I totally didn't forget about this feature. I should probably do that, huh?

Weeeeell anyway, howdy! I'm Maddie, I go by Kit online sometimes, you can call me whichever you prefer. She/Her pronouns only, please. I'm a 22 year-old trans furry who is chronically online and geeky, so if you have a problem with that, I'm putting you in a box and then launching that box into the sun. I'm a YouTuber, Twitch streamer, filmmaker, and game dev, so I'm basically every stereotypical geeky trans-girl thing except for an artist. Can't draw to save my life.

On my YouTube, I usually make reviews or video essays about games I like, though I occasionally do stuff on other media as well. Currently, my big long-term projects are the "Splatoon 3 vs Splatoon 2" series, which is AAAAALMOST finished at the time of writing this, and my series on Leilani Wilson's Elancia Chronicles novels, (which are REALLY FREAKING GOOD and you should check them out!) I've linked a few of the videos I'm proudest of down below :)

I also stream pretty frequently on Twitch! I have a PNGtuber of my fursona, Stormy, with art done by EmmalemmaMewmew on Twitter. Stills of her will also start showing up in my YouTube videos eventually, hehe. Currently, the schedule is every Sunday, Tuesday, and Thursday, with each day being a different game. These streams always start at 7 PM Mountain Time (that's 9 PM Eastern and 6 PM Pacific) and go for around 4 hours. Sundays are Splatoon Sundays, currently the Anarchy Challenge, where I attempt to win an Anarchy Series with EVERY SINGLE WEAPON in Splatoon 3. It's hell lol. Then there's Triple-A Tuesdays, where I'm currently marathoning the Zelda series, and Indie Thursdays, where I work through my back catalog of indie games! There are also occasional bonus streams, usually around the releases of new games I'm interested in or events in ones I already play (like Splatfests!) Below is a link to my Twitch channel and my current stream schedule. I'll try to update this post as often as I can, but uh, no promises haha.

Last but not least, here's some of the other stuff I'm into/working on! Currently working on a Secret Game Project that I can't tell you about yet >:) But if you know, you know.

I'm a big fan of video games and animation (clearly), with some of my favorite stuff being, in no particular order... Sonic the Hedgehog, The Legend of Zelda, Persona, Fire Emblem, Pokemon, Elancia Chronicles, Super Lesbian Animal RPG, Splatoon, Hazbin Hotel, Helluva Boss, The Owl House, Gravity Falls, Amphibia, Steven Universe, Avatar: The Last Airbender, the Marvel Cinematic Universe, the Spider-Verse films, Dreamworks animation, Pixar animation, Insomniac's Spider-Man gams, Ratchet and Clank, aaaaaaaaaand that's all I could think of off the top of my head but I'm sure there's more junk buried in there somewhere lol.

Anyway, thanks for reading all the way to the bottom! You must really have nothing better to do with your life XD. Here's some links to my other socials, if you wanna follow me there. Here I'm mostly just be posting random rambling and updates for my YouTube and Twitch. See ya around!

https://www.instagram.com/kitthegoddess/

[wannab-urs]

You Have Me In a Chokehold | Mr. Ben (SNL) x teacher!reader | 18+

Summary: You’re a teacher at Mr. Ben’s school and you’re sitting in the “No More Fancams” assembly freaking out because he just showed your fancam on screen… Do you think he knows it was you? (AU where he’s not in love with Ms. Jenny, the assembly just ends with him being like “please don’t do this anymore, thanks”)

WC: 2.4k

Warnings: MDNI | 18+ | SMUT | no ages implied (all legal obvi), hair pulling, sir kink, very mild degrading language, fingering, unprotected PiV (don’t be silly, wrap your willy) (also y’all are teachers, you should know better), rough-ish sex but no one gets hurt, Mr. Ben is girthy (Big Ben ;) ), brief mention of the picture of dorian gray, which deserves its own warning if you’ve ever tried to teach that book to teenagers, extreme cringe in the first half. Gets weirdly fluffy at the end so if that kills your vibe just stop reading after the uhhhh climax of the story (if you catch my drift). Sorry we support aftercare in this house. I think that’s it, love y’all, enjoy! 

It’s 8 in the morning, supposed to be first period, and the principal has called for some technology assembly. You’re unlucky enough to have first period planning, you have essays to grade, and you won’t have a spare minute for the rest of the day. But sure, let’s all go sit in the gym so the boomers can lecture the zoomers about technology use. This is a great use of everyone’s time. 

You slip into the auditorium with 5 minutes to spare, hoping to go unnoticed in the back row. You’re just about to subtly put in your airpods and watch TikToks like 90% of the students, when you hear the principal introduce Mr. Ben. This assembly suddenly became worth paying attention to. 

Ben is by far the prettiest thing to look at in this school. He’s ridiculously broad chested, always wearing these just-shy-of-too-tight button ups that he pairs with definitely-a-little-too-tight pants, accentuating his cute butt. He has toned forearms, usually peeking out of rolled up sleeves, and huge hands that he waves around in the air or clasps in front of him when he speaks. And then, despite being this big, broad, powerful looking man, he has the sweetest face. 

His eyes are soft brown, hooded and turned down a little, so he’s basically making puppy dog eyes constantly. His nose is prominent and curved and sitting above the most adorably pouty lips. His facial hair is sparse and a little patchy, but honestly it just makes him even more charming. God, you have it so bad for this man. 

Your internal drooling over Ben is interrupted by the sound of a freshman at the front of the room yelling, “Come on guuurrrrl, eat it up!” Your eyes flick to the screen beside Ben. There are two very vague tech rules followed by… Shit. 

“Do not make fancams of school staff, such as this,” says Ben, gesturing at the screen. And your stomach does a somersalt. Shit! There’s a TikTok playing on the screen, and though you can’t quite make out the username, you definitely recognize the video. That’s your fancam. And Ben looks… mortified. He looks extremely uncomfortable. 

“You have made thousands of fancams of me and i’m not sure what they mean, but I know it has to stop,” he pleads. And fuck is he looking at you? He can’t know can he? There’s absolutely no way he knows. He’s just looking out toward the back of the auditorium. Yeah. You wouldn’t want to make eye contact with a bunch of 14 years olds while pictures of you flash on the screen either. That makes perfect sense. 

“We make them because you’re our beloved and you have us a in a chokehold,” screams another student toward the front. You wish he would put you in a chokehold. GOD what is wrong with you. Pull yourself together.

“Okay, don’t say that,” Ben says, wringing his hands together in front of him. You can see that he’s clearly uncomfortable. You should delete your account. Ban him from your thoughts. You’ve crossed the line big time.

“I just don’t understand. Why do you make sparkly fast romantic montages of me every single day?” he asks. Another fancam, thankfully not yours, begins playing on the screen. You have to get out of here. 

You stand up and try to sneak out as inconspicuously as possible, whispering ��Bathroom,” in response to a disapproving look from another, older teacher. 

You break into a run as soon as you get into the hall and only slow down when you’re safely locked in the handicap stall of the teacher bathroom. You slide down the wall to the floor and press your face into your hands. You are so stupid. Of course making fancams of school staff is a bad idea. It’s bad when the kids do it… and really weird because they’re kids… but when another teacher does it? He could have you fired for this. 

But he doesn’t know. There’s no way he knows. 

You manage to make it through the rest of the day, somehow facing your classes and teaching them about nouns and reading a bit more of The Picture of Dorian Gray aloud. 

It’s finally the end of the day, but you still have those essays to grade, so you decide to set a timer for one hour and power through as many as you can. The school is so weirdly silent this long after final bell. The custodians won’t be in for another couple hours and pretty much every teacher and student has long gone home. 

You finish packing your tote bag and start shrugging on your coat when you hear a knock at the door. “Come in!” 

You freeze when the door opens. Shit.

“Ben! Hi! How can I help you? I was just leaving, but-” the sharp sound of the door slamming shut cuts off your nervous rambling. Ben stands with his hands behind his back, puffing his very broad chest out. 

“I was wondering if you could tell me something, sweetheart.” His voice is low, gravelly, and you feel like you’re being raked over hot coals. He knows. 

“Um. Sure?” you squeak out. Your face is on fire and you have no idea what to do with your hands. He takes a step toward you, looking for all the world like a predator stalking it’s pray. His eyes are dark, brow lowered, lips set in a hard line. He looks nothing like the shy, uncomfortable man from the assembly. 

Your bag drops to the floor and you take a stuttering step back toward your desk. 

“What’s your TikTok username?” he asks slowly, taking another step toward you. 

You gulp and fall back another step, thighs pressing against your desk now. Your shake your head and glue your eyes to the floor. 

“Don’t make me ask again.” And oh god he’s right in front of you now. He hooks a finger under your chin, bringing your eyes up to meet his. His pupils are blown so wide, you can barely see his usually warm brown irises. Wait is he turned on right now? 

“It’s- uh… I don’t have one!” you stammer out. You try to look away, but his fingers hold your chin in place. He leans a bit closer, his breath ghosting over your face, and presses his other palm into the desk beside you. He tsks and presses his thumb to your bottom lip.

“Don’t lie to me,” he growls out, and oh that went straight to your core. You squirm in his hold and that’s when you truly realize how close he is. His body is nearly pressed against yours. 

“It’s- it’s… fuck. It’s MrBensLittleSlut…” you stammer out. You feel like you’re on fire, ashamed of your actions, but also incredibly fucking turned on. The object of your not-so-innocent crush has you pressed against your desk like some school girl fantasy. 

“And do you really want to be my little slut, sweetheart?” Holy. Shit. Did he really just ask you that? Your heart actually stops beating in your chest for a second. You nod. 

“Aloud, please.” 

“Yes, sir,” you whisper, squeezing your eyes shut. 

He brings one hand to the back of your head and wraps your hair around his fingers, pulling your head back slightly. You whimper and he leans in, brushing his lips against your ear. 

“Good girl,” he purrs. And you think you’ll melt into puddle on the spot. His hands slide to your hips and he lifts you up onto the edge of the desk. You instinctively part your legs and he presses himself flush against you. He keeps one hand on your waist to steady you and slides the other back up into your hair and suddenly his lips are on yours. 

It’s sloppy and open mouthed and greedy. He licks into your mouth, curling his tongue around yours. Your hands find purchase around his biceps and you hold on for dear life. His fist tightens in your hair and you moan wantonly, throwing your head back and pushing your hips up into his, chasing friction. 

His lips trail down your jaw and he nips at your earlobe before sucking a kiss to the spot where your jaw meets your throat. You dig your nails into his muscular arms and choke on a gasp. 

“Please,” you whine, shifting your hips against him again.

“Please what, sweetheart?” you can feel him smirking into the skin of your throat. He loves how riled up you are. Loves watching you try and fail to grind yourself on him. 

“Please- please touch me, sir,” he rolls his hips into yours, finally giving you something. Anything to ease the burning desire between your legs.

“You’re so pretty when you beg,” he growls in your ear. Then you feel his right hand leave your waist and pull up your skirt. He drags his fingertips up the inside of your left thigh, featherlight. Finally, he hooks two fingers into the soaked crotch of your panties and drags his knuckles across your clit. 

You suck in a gasp and a little “Oh” falls from your lips. He pulls back, keeping his left hand in your hair and watches as he slowly sinks two fingers into your cunt, down to the knuckle. Your hands ball up into fists, twisting the sleeves of his shirt and you let out a long, breathy moan. 

“You’re so wet for me already, sweetheart. Really are a little slut, aren’t you?” Your pussy clenches around his thick fingers at his words.

“Yes! Yes, I’m your little slut!” you gasp out.

He pumps his fingers in and out of you, hooking them just right so that he hits the spongy spot inside you every time. You’re holding onto his shirt so tight you think you might rip the sleeves off. You can hear how wet you are, the sound echoing off the cinderblock walls. You start moving your hips to meet the thrust of his fingers inside you, chasing your orgasm. 

“I’m-- I’m gonna--” you clench hard around his fingers, so close to tipping over the edge.

And then his touch is gone. He’s pulled his fingers out of you and let go of you completely, taking a step back. You let out an actual scream of frustration. “No!” you shout, slumping back until your head hits your desk. You actually pout at him.

“Not yet, sweetheart. Want you to come on my cock.” His voice is so low, you almost can’t hear him over the sound of your heaving breaths. “Sit up, pretty girl.”

You push yourself back up and take in his appearance. Other than his rumpled shirt, he looks completely unbothered. His hair is still effortlessly tousled, his face is set into a teasing smirk. The fucker didn’t even break a sweat and you’re gasping for breath like a fish out of water. Pretty girl. He called you pretty.

“Bend over the desk, sweetheart.” 

You scramble to obey his request, standing up and bending over, pushing your ass into the air. You press your forehead into the desk and try to calm your fluttering heart rate. 

Suddenly… finally… you feel his hands on you. He grabs your skirt and bunches it up around your waist. His fingertips slide into the waistband of your panties and he pushes them down, letting them settle around your ankles. You hear the clink of a belt buckle, the tug of a zipper, and then you feel him. 

He slides his cock between your clenched thighs, through the wet folds of your pussy and oh god. You can’t see him, but you can feel that he’s thick. The head of his cock presses against your clit and you moan. 

“Such a pretty little pussy… I’m going to ruin it.” You gasp, but before you can respond, he’s moving. In one fluid motion, he pulls back, kicks your feet apart, and pushes all the way into you. 

“Oh fuck,” you moan out. You might pass out from pleasure. His cock is thick, filling you up and stretching you out more than you ever have been before. He holds still inside you while you clench and unclench around his girth, trying to get used to it. “So big.” you gasp into the desk. 

“I know, baby.” And then he moves, pulling all the way out to the tip and thrusting hard, all the way back in. The force of his hips smacking against your ass jolts you into the desk, making you cry out in a mix of pleasure and pain and sprawl forward on the desk. 

Ben grabs your shoulder with one hand, tightens his grip on your hip with the other, and resumes fucking into you at an absolutely brutal pace. 

Some part of you is scared you’ll get caught, but that part is overpowered by the euphoria you feel. You’re moaning and babbling incoherently as his cock hits that sweet spot deep inside you and grinds into it with every thrust. 

“Is my. Little. Slut. Gonna. Come. on my. Cock?” Ben grits out between thrusts. 

You cry out a garbled response. Your cunt is fluttering around his thick length and your eyes are rolling into the back of your head and there’s no way you can form words right now. 

Ben wraps his arm around your chest and pulls you back against him. His cock hits something deep inside you and you come with an agonizing cry, gushing around his cock and soaking him to the base. 

Your whole body goes limp with the force of your orgasm, but he holds you up and continues fucking up into you. After a few more thrusts, he pulls out and covers your ass and thighs in his release, letting out a low groan as the thick ropes hit your skin. 

You’re lying on the desk on your stomach, naked ass still in the air. It’s a ridiculous position to lay in, but you’re still riding the high of your orgasm and too blissed out to care. You jolt as you feel silk move across your over-sensitive skin. 

“What’re you doing?” You’re so drunk on his cock, it comes out slurred.

“Cleaning you up, sweetheart,” Ben says. Is he- he’s cleaning you up with his tie. Fuck that’s hot. And sweet? 

“Thank you…” you sigh into the desk. He pulls your panties back up for you and settles your skirt back down around your legs.

“Can you sit up for me, baby?” He doesn’t wait for you to answer before wrapping his arms around you and pulling you to your feet, nestling your head into the curve of his shoulder.

It’s not fair for him to fuck you that good and go right to being the sweet, bashful man you thought you knew. 

He brushes your hair out of your face and presses a soft, almost tender, kiss to your nose. You giggle and the sound makes him break out into a smile, his eyes crinkling at the corners and his dimple peeking out behind a 5 o’clock shadow. 

“Come on, sweetheart, I’ll walk you to your car.” 

He grabs your coat and your tote bag, slips his hand into yours, and leads you out to the parking lot.

a/n: I’m so sorry. This is ridiculous and I apologize for the no plot snl character porn fic. 

Tags: @beskarandblasters @meveispunk

[anthropwashere]

Did you play or watch someone play Mouthwashing? I think it's a good game. What are your thoughts on it? 👀

I watched an LP and absolutely plan on buying it (as soon as my bank sorts out the gatdang claim I put in over a week ago, grumble grumble). For all that I love spooky scary stuff, I'm a tremendous coward with a short attention span so I don't actually play many indie horror games. Mouthwashing is one of my rare exceptions, and it's a level of good that's gonna sit with me a while.

It's a game that uses its limited time to make the characters properly interesting people. It sits you down and forces you to reflect on yourself a little, even (especially) if it hurts to. It puts mundane drudgery and the danger of prolonged isolation front and center of a sci-fi setting, which is my favorite flavor of sci-fi. It reminds us we need to take responsibility reflect on the baggage we've gotten used to carrying to see if it's still worth it.

The PSX graphics and surreal horror aspects come together in a way that's genuinely breathtaking in a way I didn't expect too. Like, full-stop paused the LP several times to appreciate what I was looking at. The music was another pleasant surprise, not obtrusive or kitschy, but just eerie enough to help sell the story being told.

There's a fucked up horse too, so that's fun.

It's a damn good horror game I can't wait to freak myself out with a few more times.

(ALSO I just realized Mouthwashing was made by the same people who did How Fish is Made, which is another game I haven't played yet but that video essay Jacob Geller did on it lives rent free in my brain. Man, what's my excuse for not playing that one yet? It's friggin' free! Well I know what I'm doing today.)

[my-midnight-musings-xoxo]

Spoilers for MadK!

---

Something I absolutely adore about MadK is the designs of the characters. Often otherworldly creatures aren't monstrous in appearance, they're usually pretty people with differing hair color, eyes, skin or an extra appendage. Not all supernatural creatures are like this, but I've noticed it enough to find it a little..weird? Artists can do whatever they of course, but I really like creative and bold character designs, I like unique and strange, especially when it comes to supernatural creatures! Sometimes that's the point for them to look human but different, I just love unique characters.

MadK does this wonderfully, J and Datenshou being strong contenders. The angel wings with the lion paws and tail look beautiful, and the wings give an excellent silhouette, with the angelic persona he puts on suits him (J really is a fallen angel now that I think about it). And I adore Dantenshou striking look. No facial features is eye catching as is, but his tassels (?) and elegant robes lean into that dreamy, princely look, for me anyways!

And Fjord, I love his eyes the most they're so expressive, if I'm remembering correctly I'm pretty sure he was inspired by a lettuce..

He has the childish and pompous feel and look to him, but he's not without a heart!!

I find Ryo Suzuri being inspired by food hilarious but also creative, inspiration can come from the strangest places.

I'm going to be honest this was brought on by 'Demon Slayer is Extraordinary Incompetent" a video essay I love which made me think about the demon designs. They aren't all like this!! But I saw a clip of Akaza and it made me think about how many disappointing demon designs there are, so here we are!

Oh, I also love the background characters and the ones we briefly see. That count, unfortunately I can't remember his name but the man with a..ostrich body, a big bird of some kind, never fails to freak me out. Going into MadK I expected human-like demons, even with J I just figured the author was giving us their most creative, but with the bird guy and Dantenshou I realized I was very wrong, and I was quite happy to be wrong.

I love the manga <3

[aropride]

evil demon who lives in my head: man, isn’t it embarassing that you cared about slur discourse as recently as may 2021. that’s mortifying. you should probably kill yourse-

tiny therapist who lives on the other side of my head: i’d say that’s a very harsh reaction. you were incredibly chronically online, of course, but you had nothing to do at the time but consume discourse content. it wasn’t healthy, but it’s no surprise you had some losercore opinions

evil demon who lives in my head: that makes sense, i guess.

tiny therapist who lives on the other side of my head: good! i think you’d really benefit from loving yourself more—

genetically engineered clone of my chronically online high school self: LOVING myself? like in SELFCEST? umm… block and report this FREAK!

giant sentient worm living in my bedroom ceiling: 🪱

evil demon who lives in my head: hey let’s watch a 17 hour video essay about the history of cabinetry

[autisticempathydaemon]

Hiya!! This is for the Redacted matchups! ^-^

What song are you fixated on at the moment? What lyric or verse, and why?

- I'm on a The Crane Wives kick, listening to "How to Rest" and "Arcturus Beaming" on repeat. It gave me the name of my redacted demon OC actually lol. But How to Rest means a lot to me. I could quote the whole song, but I'll just put:

"Here's the truest thing I've ever know / The heart is just a muscle with a rhythm all its own / It doesn't stop when you decide not to move on / The heart knows nothing of your love or of your loss / So life just keeps on ticking by, compelled by instinct to survive / And love's the only thing worth being alive for"

What is your Enneagram type?

- I had to search a bit to find where to take this but I got Type 9? Sleeping At Last has songs based on each type and I relate to two and nine too much.

Do you love gargantuan Youtube video essays, and if so, which is your favorite and why?

- Oh god, yeah I do! I have so many favorites but I can give an older one and a newer one. Ladyknightthebrave's whole channel has my heart, but her "Dead Doesn't Mean Gone - A Haunting of Bly Manor Video Essay" has been engrained in my memory. The new favorite is Skyehopper's "Why Bastion Lies to You" because I do love that game, and its unreliable narrator. I mostly watch media summaries and analyses, and it's comforting to listen to people talk about the media that touches them.

Tell me about your childhood imaginary friend.

- So... I didn't have one? I felt so weird, like I was supposed to have one, but never did. May be the aphantasia in me, but my imagination hit after I found fanfic and went all in with OCs.

What is your go-to way to fall asleep?

- Video essays and videogame playthroughs! Curl up in blankets and put on an old favorite.

If you had to change your name, what would it be, and why? (In tandem, if you have changed your name, why did you pick that one?)

- Oh, I'm too indecisive for this, but maybe Ari? I like shorter names. I have more issue with my surname than my first name.

What is your favorite of Redacted's audios, and why?

- “Trying to Help Your Moody Vampire Sleep"(Porter) and "Time Is A Song. It's Also Water. He's Half Asleep."(Morgan). Both pairs are going closer in these!! Both set late at night and during the rain help too. After the craziness of the summit, it was so nice to hear Porter so gentle with Treasure. And Morgan being so open about how much he wants to know Seer was just so great~

What Redacted boy holds no appeal to you, and why? Like, not the one you hate but the one who you don't get the hype for.

- So I enjoy Flyboi. I've listened to Flyboi's epilogue multiple times. I have not touched Yandere Ivan's playlist. I don't think I will. I do enjoy the trope sometimes, but this one just isnt for me.

Tell me about that one book/movie/tv show you know all the words to.

- I get down on one knee, and hold up a little box. I open it. It has a slip of paper that says "Will you watch A Haunting of Bly Manor with me?" More seriously, I love what it says about grief, and our own personal ghosts that we carry with us.

Which Redacted boy are you platonically attracted to? Like- forget dating, which dude do you want to be your best friend?

- SO ABOUT MILO GREER— lol, mostly I just want that man to teach me how to dress. I want to watch him play horror games while we freak tf out and his mate laughs. Also Guy! Please gimme free pizza and ramble at me for 30+ minutes.

Do you have a go-to thing you ramble about when you're tired, and if so, what is it?

- That... is currently Redacted for me lol. Or Hades. Mostly though, I enjoy listening to the rambles of my friends, rather than being the one rambling.

Tell me your go-to gas station and drink combo.

- 7-Eleven was mine first, Gavin-- But yeah, Cherry Coke Slurpee, that's it.

Tell me about your favorite playlist at the moment.

- So, the Interactive Novel WIP "Speaker" has a playlist that I have carried onto every platform I listen to music to. Feels like a playlist the characters would be playing on the long roadtrips they take and I come back to it a lot.

What's your guilty pleasure media, and why?

- I'm not too guilty about it, but the Our Life games. They are just wholesome and good, and make me feel warm. Interactive fiction games too. Games that make you create an OC for them!

And whatever else you think tells me about who you are!

- I am a pretty big maladaptive daydreamer, and I deal with a lot of anxiety over being outside. I have gotten a lot better with it, though I can still be hard on myself when I feel like I'm taking steps backwards. I like to doodle, and make lists. I want to get a cat one day. I love horror even if I am a total wimp about it, and one time I hyperfixated on a bad romance series, read all 40+ books of it, and it certainly wasn't fun! But oh man, do I know way too much of how the author mixed up their own characters.

Really curious to what you pick, thank you so much!!

There’s quite a few reasons why I’m choosing the redacted boi I am for you, but I have to admit the most nebulous but altogether vibey of them is that you and Elliott would be hella Crane Wives-coded.

Type Nines tend to be motivated by a desire for peace and harmony, a lack of conflict; another reason I like Elliott for you is because I think he could really get that, given he’s a middle child from a tempestuous home. Then there’s your identifying as a daydreamer with aphantasia. I love the idea of pairing someone who has trouble visualizing things with someone who could visually bring those things to life before your eyes, even if only in dreams. You also seem to love stories and character creation, and Elliott canonically a dreamwalking Dungeons and Dragons nerd; it’s a perfect match.

I’m so jealous, because I can’t imagine anything more fun than being a horror fan with Eli as a partner, even if you’re a wimp. He doesn’t care how many times you’ve both seen The Haunting of Bly Manor; he just cares about spending time with you- maybe getting cozy under a blanket with a cat on top of your laps. You two could watch any fun, horror media, and it’d be okay because he could turn any of your nightmares into good dreams. Maybe he plays the horror games while you watch and doze off, your own personal video game play through sleep-aid. (A chill one, I think, as Elliott strikes me as an unflappable type, at least when it comes to horror.)

Song:

I'll be the moon/ You'll be the sun/ We'll make the day glow/ You'll slowly rise/ And I will fall/ I'll be the sky/ You'll be the ground/ Under the hillside/ We'll slowly wait and watch it all

This was so tough to pin down since the Crane Wives Radio songs were all either tragic or epic in scale /lh I landed on this one because I was looking for neither of those things; I wanted something happy and comfortable and peaceful, which is all Elliott and his Sunshine truly need at this point. Also, the sun and moon imagery is just too perfect.

Runner-ups:

Ollie is a cute runner-up for you not just because I think you’d like the same things, like video games and horror but because he already has a cat that would obviously also become yours when you get together. Lasko is another runner-up for you for the same reasons! I think you’d share a lot of shared interests as well but different ones- namely fiction, OC’s, and horror that you can’t handle.

Read this post and send me an ask if you’d like a match-up of your own! 💌

[finchers-ipad]

as a fight club and will graham enjoyer, what are your thoughts on ednort’s will graham?

omg i love this ask. listen, i love ed norton when he has good directon, drive and a complex character i think he can give a really great performance. so i don’t know what the fuck he was doing playing will graham. it is one of the most lifeless and straight up boring performances i’ve seen him give WHEN THE CHARACTER IS SO RITCH I DONT UNDERSTAND WHAT HAPPENED. his interpretation (as well as the writers and directors, because this can’t be just his fault) is that will is this typical run of the mill straight and driven cop who is stressed out with the tooth fairy case but kind of just because it’s a stressful job that keeps him from his wife and kid.

from what i understand, because i haven’t watched ‘manhunter’, is that the red dragon film introduced the fact that will and hannibal knew each other prior to hannibal being caught. this, to me, is really fun and interesting and they could have made this an integral part of both of their characters and strengthened and complicated their relationship (which we see done absolutely BEAUTIFULLY in season 3b of NBC’s hannibal). but no. it feels like anthony hopkins and ed norton are two pieces of sandpaper rubbing together whenever they are on screen together. for example in the opening scene where they are supposed to be collages and somewhat friendly as will is in hannibal’s house THEY FEEL LIKE FUCKING STRANGERS. ed norton is soooo reserved as will which frustrates me because we have seen him do more. he should have given the same character performance as the narrator in fight club as he did with will graham in red dragon. it didn’t even need to be to that standard but idk he needed to do more, especially with his empathy because it’s just so brushed off. again i know this is at fault of the writing and directing too but oh fuck it annoys me.

i know ed nortons and hugh dancys will graham’s are very different also because of their different story’s and that has to be said HOWEVER the shows interpretation of hannibal and will’s relationship is so much richer (not even factoring in their queerness). to me, hugh dancy’s view of will’s relationship with hannibal is “after everything you have repeatedly put me through, after discovering all that you are, you continue to be the only person who has and the only person who could understand me even though i can’t always admit that and don’t always want that”. BUT edward norton’s view of will’s relationship with hannibal is “you betrayed me when i put my trust in you and i resent the fact that i need you now” which really doesn’t hit the fucking same.

there’s this really cool video essay ( https://youtu.be/PA1zrO3YQmk?si=dTsKzwTFiGSMAApN ) that says something like “will isn’t supposed to be a straight man, he’s not supposed to be as smooth as ice, he’s supposed to be a fucked up little freak” which i whole heartedly agree with. this is mainly to do with the writing again but you can see ed norton his holding himself back, he looks like he doesn’t believe the words coming out of his own mouth. especially in the scene where the red dragon has a knife at his sons throat and he’s shouting at him. literally the most diluted performance i’ve ever seen him give i think.

especially when i watched the show before any of the movies so i was so excited that my interests overlapped, then was disappointed that he played will so strangely. anyway one of my only pros of his will graham is that it was during his early 2000’s phase of being blonde which i enjoyed. and also ‘red dragon’ keeps the line about hannibal wanting to eat wills heart. the rest…burn it. i feel like i could talk about will and hannibal’s relationship in ‘NBC’s hannibal’ till my face turns blue and a die from lack of oxygen. where as i can barely scrounge a few thoughts together about their relationship in ‘red dragon’ that aren’t just how dry it is. this is a testament to the writing of the show but also to mads mikkelsen and hugh dancy’s chemistry. it feels (to me) like anthony hopkins was given the impossible task of living up to his performance in ‘the silence of the lambs’ especially when his screen time was doubled and then edward norton was given the impossible task of filling in the position of clarice starling that audiences were craving, which just left me wanting more from his performance.

[robotlesbianjavert]

Ten headcanons about spinner please

well you asked so nicely. okay!

10) i think i've already mentioned this in the past and some fics but despite what you expect from someone with reptile associations he's not anymore affected by the cold than any other warm-blooded person. and he knows it's a silly thing to get sensitive about but well when people assume he gets a bit heated!! so to say!!

9) he first learned how to use a knife, and in particular knife throwing tricks, from his mom, who is most of the born and bred country rep in his family and grew up with very little else to do and really needed a cool party trick. between her and toga, knife-throwing is his only surefire way to bond with women.

8) who is the biggest bara rep in league of legends. idk mordekaiser looks promising. in any case spinner's first glimmer of realizing that he is gay was accidentally stumbling upon LoL bara doujinshi, on the internet. somehow the continuing fascination for bara did not translate to real life where he keeps going gaga for weird skinny weirdos with disappointing t&a (UNTIL shigaraki's ujiko-provided glow-up)

7) his backup plan for going to the city after seeing stain on tv if he failed to find and join the league of villains was just to hit all the clubs and get laid. but as a virgin and hikkikomori he was very nervous about this option and was kind of relieved that he could just join a terrorist group instead.

6) i used this one in a fic too lmao. as a kid his claws were filed down regularly so that other kids and the rest of the town didn't freak out and think he was gonna gut them. cuz they're evil. as part of the headcanon of it all he does have weird hang-ups and

5) backseat gamer. like, pathological. much like myself as a child watching my stepbrothers play zelda or conker's bad fur day, he will sit over shigaraki's shoulder (and anyone else's i guess but he's literally so under-socialized he doesn't know anyone else who plays videogames irl. sad!) and be like i wouldn't have done that. you're supposed to go over there. why aren't you using all these cheat codes that i know (they don't work). thankfully shigaraki is cool with this cuz he loves to argue. i actually consider this canon enough given that we have now seen spinner hanging over shigaraki's shoulder as he's playing games.

4) were a tumblr equivalent to exist in bnhaverse spinner would have an account and he would try to be crazy stealth and not have it associated to any other social accounts ever and he would be a hater on it and you could not pay him to commit voter fraud for something against his morals (shipping polls) (he would have voted destiel!! he knows he is cas-coded!!) but he would create so many dummy accounts manually by hand HIMSELF like a hard worker to influence results as much as he could. without paying people. or getting bots. he has a pure hater soul.

3) related to the above spinner is a constant hater online. people ask him what does he ever like and he just regurgitates whatever video essay he watched recently that had a nice thing to say. but his hater stances are 100% original. not to say that he never Likes something about anything but he's dogshit at expressing it.

2) part of his issues is that he was very unintentionally detached from any other of his heteromorph-related family that he could relate to (a lot of the family was probably located in cities) aside from whatever parents or siblings, which contributed further to his feelings of isolation from the community he grew up in, and his heteromorphic traits were just enough more apparent compared to the immediate family that he was more targeted by the community he grew up in. so he's both discriminated and marginalized by the community, and has a harder time finding solace in his family to cope.

1 ) i must once again stand by spinner's hybistrophilia. like really specifically his true fantasy is a cool suave older man who does a lot of serial killing and is willing to take spinner under his wing and say ah i see you have a lot of potential. but then he fell in love with shigaraki. that's how you know it's true love. i guess you can argue that shigaraki is an old soul.

[vidreview]

VIDREV: "Tim Burton's World of Sadboys" by Infinite Snow Productions

[originally posted april 29 2023]

Not only are you the exact brand of person who Neon Genesis Evangelion is about, you are also the exact brand of person who would completely and confidently miss the point of Neon Genesis Evangelion.

sometimes you come across an essay that says everything you've always wanted to say about a thing but could never quite work out how to fit together all in one place. this is one of my those. like a lot of film-loving millennials who went through an emo phase, Tim Burton holds a very special and deeply complicated place in my heart. the bizarre gothic aesthetics of his worlds brimming over with eccentric freaks captured my imagination as a deeply closeted trans teen who didn't feel normal anywhere [she] went. yes i wanted to be Lydia from Beetlejuice, no i never sat down and questioned what that might say about me personally! some of my earliest childhood memories are of playing with a plastic action figure of Catwoman from Batman Returns. that's not really related to anything, i just wanted to mention accidentally stabbing myself in the hand with one of her ears so hard it drew blood when i was a toddler. so obviously as an aspiring writer with dreams of maybe one day directing movies, Tim Burton felt like the perfect role model for the kind of creator i wanted to be back in 2002.

but as the years went on and Burton revealed himself to be maybe the biggest sellout of his generation, i stopped really thinking about his films and kind of felt embarrassed for having liked them as much as i once did. i think people who grew up with his stuff had this feeling that, like, Edward Scissorhands or whatever was their own personal secret, this little missive from Burton to you that no one else understood, that only you were smart enough to get. but then time happened and suddenly you realized that actually most people liked his stuff, you just didn't get out much. it's sort of like how when you're a teen in 2004 Neon Genesis Evangelion is this niche special interest no one's ever heard of that people would make fun of you for liking if their eyes didn't glaze over halfway through the title, and then you grow up and learn that Eva is the eighth most financially successful anime franchise on planet earth and you're like what

narratively Burton's films are about as socially conservative as you can get while still retaining a veneer of liberal plausible deniability. a couple years ago Maggie Mae Fish did a video dissecting Burton's work that helped clarify a lot of this stuff for me, and ever since then i've been waiting for someone else to pick up that ball and really barrel down into the psychology of the man. don't get me wrong, psychoanalytic media criticism can be dangerous and should only be deployed with excessive caution (and please for the love of god Do Not Quote Freud Jung or Lacan), but Burton's own brand is so surface-level personal and his work far too juiced up with extremely telling themes not to merit at least a little bit of psychoanalysis. i've often idly considered doing it myself, in that "this would make a really good video essay" kind of way when something isn't really in your wheelhouse but maybe would be a fun challenge if you could motivate yourself to care enough, knowing you never will.

enter Tim Burton's World of Sadboys, an essay which does all of this and more. i'm not sure i actually have a whole lot to say about this one, besides that it's everything i hoped it would be from the thumbnail. host Delaney Jordan very succinctly conjures the eternal specter hanging over the Burton oeuvre: that he's one of the vanishingly few directors this century who has had carte blanche to make just about anything he wanted, yet he's consistently chosen to make films about lonely white boys who are sad they can't wear their The Cure t-shirt into the office, and who are honestly quite sick of being unfairly associated with those freaks in the goth scene. the sad truth about Burton that we all had/have to come to terms with is that he's just another boring rich conservative suburbanite, except he wears black and doesn't pay anyone to touch his hair.

this essay does a couple of really smart things structurally. we kick things off with a legendary Orson Welles quote tearing down the scoundrel Woody Allen (read by the hosts of Oddity Roadshow and Critical Bits, the only actual play podcasts i still listen to), a choice that works even if you don't really know anything about Welles or Allen or Burton, and only works better the more you know about them. of course the thumbnail and section titles invoke Evangelion, but you don't really know how this could be relevant until later on when Burton is explicitly framed as a Shinji Ikari type. making that specific historical connection to Welles, within this specific overarching intertextual connection to Evangelion, is just so smart. it's such a galaxy brain framework for an essay and it's why i decided to write up this review.

it works because it gets out of the way. Jordan wastes almost no time hedging bets, making apologies, clarifying asterisks-- i spent most of my time nodding along, delighted for once to be the choir she's preaching to. sometimes i think essayists can let The Point They Want To Make eclipse the simple joy of deconstructing someone else's art. if there's any crime i've committed most as a video essayist myself, it's probably that one. what i appreciate here is, again, Jordan gets it. she gets that it's fun to rubberneck a career like Burton's. he's an easy target that you don't have to feel bad about being kind of mean to, and his work is popular enough that you don't need to waste any time doing recaps. somewhere in the middle i was disappointed to realize she wasn't structurally devoting time to Every Single Film, but by the end i was glad of it. the compulsion to Say Absolutely Everything You Can Possibly Think To Say is strong in the video essayist's heart, and let's be real most of the time that makes for pretty fucking boring essays. maybe it's weird to talk about pacing and flow in the context of a video essay, but here we are. this one just scratches an itch for me with its front to back competence. you can always tell when an essay has been brewing in someone's head for a long time, likely practiced in chunks at parties and social gatherings for years and years until the day of its final refined delivery, and oh how sweet it is when that's an experience you share.

i guess i'll end this on a serious note.

nostalgia has engulfed Hollywood. nothing new can be made because nothing new is a sure bet, so all the big developments in creative tools these days are about composting the culture that already exists. deepfakes, chat-gpt, algorithmic image generation, things of this nature. given this moment in history, i think it's more important than ever that we as adults seriously interrogate the media we're nostalgic for. Disney's place at the center of all this can't be ignored, because it's spent the better part of a century embedding its products into american childhood and thus today has an army of devotees who will defend their frankly kind of mid fairy tale cartoons to the death. Tim Burton, on a much smaller scale, has done precisely the same thing: equating his art with himself, equating loving his art with being on Tim Burton's side rather than simply, you know, enjoying a movie that you saw on tv once. and god, oh dear god, please for heaven's sake let us not even Begin to conversate on the matter of Harry Potter. we live in a moment when the average human person has been so thoroughly dispossessed of any material influence on or connection with the systems and bodies that actually drive civilization, that fiction is the only thing that feels like it belongs to us anymore. it quite demonstrably doesn't, of course, but that's the illusion Disney et al deliberately peddle in order to maintain public acceptance of their monopoly.

given all this, i'll never fail to appreciate an essay that cuts right through the blinders of nostalgia and isn't afraid to dig deep into the core of the issue. i think it's good to be a hater sometimes actually. i think it's good when a critic refuses to humor our culture's simpering deference to corporate robber barons of intellectual property and their endless stable of lazy sellout toadies like Tim Burton. idk man, there's a reason these ghouls want you to love them unconditionally and i really don't think it has anything to do with filling your life with selfless wonder and joy de vivre

anyway it's a good essay with some good laughs, go watch it

[esotericconsultingdetective]

my forever fixations (changes will be added.)

sitcoms (b99, modern family, bbt, himym, the office, friends, HOUSE MD)

benedict cucumberpatch and martin freeman (sherlock bbc, lord of the rings, the hobbit etc.)

Sherlock and watson variants (House MD, Sherlock)

Patrick Bateman

ghosts&vampires&blood&sadists&gore&darkacademia&haunted places (frankenstein, jekyll and hyde)

english schoolgirls in the not creepy way (wild child, enid blyton boarding school books)

Harry Potter

Dead poet’s society

neil gaiman (coraline)

true crime

granada holmes

LOCKWOOD AND CO. MY BABIES

star trek and star wars in no particular order

spock

taylor swift and old washed up rock bands

pheobe effing bridgers

GRACIE ABRAMS est. 2020 (and the 2021 london show which i attended- my first concert 🥹)

kill her, freak out - samia

therese dreaming and maya hawke

art

raft of medusa

travelling

nerdinators

nerf guns

spy kids

peppa pig and ben and holly and gaston and nanny plum

emma chamberlain's fashion choices

the grisly origins of fairy tales

101 dalmations' original cruella deville.

horrid henry, captain underpants and phineas and ferb

LEGOOOO

evermore and folklore

lore by aaron manke

neurosurgery

fashun

crime podcasts

the history of mad hatters

interesting things to research about

indian royalty history

transylvania

Elizabeth Báthory (the blood countess)

agatha christie and miss marple

puzzle solving but i'm terrible at it (i’m awesome, i’m trying to be humble)

a deepening disgust at mortal fascination with each other.

aliens

d&d

mathematics

Lockwood and Co.

The sisters grimm

Land of stories

middle grade horror and fantasy books

my instagram threads account

tumblr shitposts

tumblr in general

pjo (ex induced)

scarlet and ivy

THE WELLS AND WONG DETECTIVE SOCIETY (robin stevens ily)

young adult dark fantasy without romance (check point 46)

my goodreads account

ada lovelace

franz kafka, virginia woolf.

my spotify playlists (ethel cain i love u)

joan of arc

rosalind franklin

ted ed videos

witch hunts in scotland and salem.

zoroastrian burials

sherlock and watson

my pinterest

amrita shergill

CRISPR

old disney shows

cricket and india's victory in WC in '83

jhansi ki rani

my childhood tv shows

my yt history

video essays

shane and ryan (watcher or buzzfeed unsolved)

chronically online

jude bellingham

Carlos sainz

a dreaded feeling of separation.

Elsa Schiaparelli

the kelly

monaco

f1

aux en provence

ireland

my artemis fowl phase

harry potter

wales

ryan reynolds and john krasinski

adam sandler movies and similar genres of shitty comedy

cobra kai and the karate kid

superheroes

spiderman variants

bucky and the falcon

charlize theron

vintage watches

conde nast traveller

delhi

benedict cucumberpatch

kristy thompson from the bsc

anne with an e

mr brightside

mitski

podcasts

the sixties, thirties and twentys

maggie smith (downtown abbey and loewe campaigns)

jane birkin

youtube fan edits

stranger things

the irregulars and haunting of hill house

gossip girl (fallacies and legacies)

meryl streep (mammia mia and the devil wears prada)

julie andrews (the sound of music, the princess diaries)

vintage movies

youtube short films and billy joel

the prisoner of azkaban

fred and george weasley and kili and fili

gandalf > dumbledore

margaret - ldr and jack antanoff

alicia and janet (the enid blyton cinematic universe)

sharon tate

my halloween blog 'gore'

arch digest house tours

new york because i'm just a girl

BBC SHERLOCK

Star Trek

the matrix

kill bill, fight club, dr. evil, ocean’s 11

The KJO cinematic universe

Nepo babies

Tim Burton

The Addams Family

Science

Biology

Physics

Chemistry

Mathematics x 2

grigori perelman

Nerds

Conspiracy theories

Ethical research

female serial killers

elizabeth bathory

my spotify playlists

billy joel - piano man

youtube edits

saltburn

peppa pig & ben and holly

horrid henry

lost childhood animated tv shows

enid blyton boarding school books

british sitcoms (outnumbered)

house md

characters most like me list on charactour/ openpyschometrics.

the 2 IT zoya akhtar movies

special certain bollywood

teams in red - man united, Ferrari and RCB.

Formula 1, Tennis, Football & Cricket

Batman&Alfred (Christopher Nolan version duh!)

Dark Knight’s aesthetic

old marvel and DC movies

Superhero Comics

Richard Feynman

Haunted castles

Halloween and Halloween costumes (the only right answer is switching between batman and darth Vader or my Pinterest board)

LEGO (lotr, Harry Potter, marvel and DC lego)

Batman, iron man, and dr strange

ford v ferrari

shang chi

fight club and kill bill

Zack and Cody and phineas and ferb captain underpants

Karate kid and kung fu panda

karen from outnumbered

philomena cunk

Mercedes, Sebastian Vettel being a nerd and super awesome with pit overtakes, Brocedes + 2019 rookies and Maxiel

2012 grid

2023 george russel t pose

twitch quartet

Good food and masterchef australia

LUCA

black swan

Cool nepo babies (case in point romy mars (director of the tiktok vodka pasta video & Gracie frikking abrams ily)

F2 and f3

Horror movies

SHITTY COMEDYYY movie genre I.e. the hangover, grown ups, etc.

How to train your dragon (i had a dragon dinosaur phase so this is justified)

Lego ninjago

michelle mouton

derry girls

being an absolute effing genius

academia

saltburn aesthetic

letterboxd

Horror movies

Old marvel but deadpool revival

Minions

Breakfast at tiffany’s

Old movies (arsenic and old lace, wizard of oz)

Preminger and old Barbie movies

Old Disney movies (101 dalmations)

Merida and brave and Elsa and frozen

the one dance scene from the sleeping beauty

Movies with julie andrews and audrey hepburn and meryl streep

asha banks' and gracie abrams covering songs

SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS + nosferatu

horror movies of all kinds (slashers, paranormal, psychological, all of them.)

Kickass (the movie)

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