#i found this in my snapchat memories

[legoflowers]

follow my IG :)

[fever4theflavor69]

Friends and followers Please read..

The events of this morning prompted this post.

This might help to clarify some things about me.

Lots of you ask for my other socials. My phone number. Or to chat on things like WhatsApp and telegram.

3 years ago. I was still reeling from the death of my husband. I made a friend. A male friend on here. He lived 600 miles away. He was very supportive and helpful and friendly. He eventually expressed his affection for me but I told him that I was nowhere near ready to date and the death of my husband would take a long time for me to get over. He said he was cool with that. We became really good friends and I allowed him to add me on Snapchat.

At one point, I posted a picture to my snap in front of a restaurant in the town I lived in. He found out where that restaurant was, and what town I lived in. And then did snooping to find out my home address.

He showed up at my front door. With flowers and expected to sweep me off my feet. He professed his undying love for me and asked to marry me. Mind you my husband had only been passed for like five months at this point.

I flipped out, like bad. I was so angry that he violated my trust. I was scared and feared for my daughter. I told him to leave before I called the cops.

15 minutes later my phone rings. My cell phone. I don't know how he got the number but he called and told me that he was going to do unspeakable things to myself AND my daughter.

Immediately i called the police. Gave them his info screen name etc. they tracked him down and he was arrested and in the end given two years probation. Every year I renew the restraining order on him.

I have changed my phone number. I sold my home where I was happy and wanted to live with the memories of my deceased husband and was forced to move to a new home.

But every day I fear he is going to find me. And my daughter.

So for all of you that wonder why I won't share my socials or my phone number or give certain details about where I live...

This is why.

Fever

[darlingmbappe]

The Loneliest | Kylian Mbappé x Fem Reader

[Part One] [Part Two] [Part Three] [Part Four] [Epilogue]

Summary: Your fiancé missing your birthday is the icing on the cake to a horrible couple of months. Now, you’re left to pick up your broken pieces, ending the chapter in your life that includes Kylian Mbappé.

Warnings: Complete angst all the way through, Kylian being a bad fiancé, fighting, breaking an engagement, lots of crying, cussing, this one’s kind of long so beware. Spoiler: no happy ending. Let me know if I missed anything. — English is not my first language —

Mornings used to be your favorite.

You’d wake up way too early to the sound of Kylian’s alarm for your liking, but it didn’t even matter. The hour or so you got to spend with your fiancé before he left were sacred, it was special. They were filled with easy conversation, tired hugs and sleepy kisses on the shoulder, the occasional quickie, or at least a cheeky squeeze of your ass. It felt like very moment spent together was precious. You felt loved by Kylian so much it made your stomach turn with butterflies just thinking about him.

Now, it felt like those domestic moments were a distant memory. Sure, all couples gradually get less and less lovey-dovey the longer they’re together, but the change was drastic. It was like you barley knew him anymore.

You’ve attempted to start conversations with Kylian about this. Multiple times, in fact. Immediately, he’d get defensive, ending in arguments that kept getting worse and worse. It’s difficult to have to tip toe around your feelings in order to avoid a fight. He stopped making you feel special.

This morning, you woke up knowing it will be a hard day; all alone in your shared king sized bed.

Today is your birthday, and you don’t think Kylian knows this. After many weeks of deep reflection and thought, you know that today might be the last day of your three and a half-year long relationship with Kylian Mbappé — a man who stole your heart and still has it. Once treasured, now barely beating. The diamond sitting on your left ring finger had started feeling like a foreign object, like something your body wanted to reject. It’s lost it’s comfort, now you seemed to lug around old memories you clung onto for dear life.

Kylian didn’t come home last night, though you saw on his private Snapchat story that he was safe, sound, and plastered out of his mind at some club with friends you didn’t even know. He couldn’t find it in him to text you back after 9 o’clock, when that morning he said he would be home no later than 8:30. He found a simple ‘going out, don’t wait up for me’ to be sufficient communication for the night.

You called Kylian, instead it went straight to voicemail. Your texts to him weren’t going through, either. He didn’t have training this morning because the coaches had a conference in London, so you knew he had to be home soon.

Dragging yourself out of bed, you made your way to the kitchen for a bowl of bland cereal and coffee for one.

“Happy birthday to me.” You mumbled, looking down at your sad birthday breakfast. Compared to the last few years where Kylian prepared you a delicious meal, hired a chef, or took you out to the fanciest café in Paris — this meal actually made you lose your appetite.

Across town, Kylian was waking up with a pounding sensation in his head and no recollection of the night before.

“What happened last night?” Kylian grumbled as he woke up to the bright sunlight streaming in from the open shutters. His neck had a kink in it from passing out on his friend Paolo’s Airbnb couch in the early hours of the morning, his voice sounded like he’d swallowed gravel. “Fuck.” He covered his face from the blinding rays and felt around for his phone.

He hasn’t gotten drunk that heavily in so long, but when two of his old friends came to Paris for a few weeks, he couldn’t resist giving into their pleads when they’d asked him to tag along for a fun night on the town.

“Bro, you were so drunk last night.” He heard his other friend Bernardo chuckle, his voice almost gone as well from the festivities of the previous night. Kylian sat up, seeing both men looking half dead and clinging onto coffee mugs like a child would cling onto its mothers leg.

The guys chuckled in the kitchen. He smelled eggs cooking but they just made him nauseous. “What time is it? Where’s my phone?”

“Oh…” Paolo snickered and pointed at the bowl full of rice in the center of his kitchen island. “Yeah, man… I don’t know if the rice did much for it. It’s fucked.”

Kylian shot up toward his cell, not even remembering putting it in the rice last night. He carefully picked it up, the entire screen was shattered.

“Putain…” He attempted to hold down the power button just in case, glancing over to the microwave to see the time. 12:36pm. “Merde!”

He had an important meeting with his PR team about potential sponsorships for next years season at 2 o’clock, and if he showed up sweating whiskey with an obvious hangover, the brand reps might think twice before giving him any deals.

He bid his old friends goodbye but not before promising to go out again soon. A short taxi ride later, he was able to make it back home just a little after 1 o’clock.

Kylian bursts through the front door, booking it toward the shower in your ensuite bathroom, running right past you on the bed without a glance or even a hello.

You’d been trying to decide all day if you were pissed at him or just super sad, but seeing him ignore you that way made you realize that it didn’t matter. He stopped making you happy, making you both pissed and sad — a dangerous combination.

You get up and follow him in there as he hopped around trying to take his skinny jeans off.

“I’m gonna be late.” He panted, sliding inside the shower.

You assumed if he knew he would’ve said something… happy birthday… I love you… I’m sorry…

Curious and resentful, you stand close to the shower door so he could hear you. “Where are you going? I thought we…” You blink tears back, sighing and trying to get control of your wavering voice, “… I thought we could do something tonight.”

This wasn’t even the plan, but you were trying to find anyway for him to redeem himself.

“No, (Y/N). I can’t today, okay?” He snapped. “I’m in a rush. Can you please just pick out a nice outfit for me, quickly.”

You shake your head in disbelief, wiping a stray tear that rolled down your face, sniffling once. Kylian hears this and pokes his head out. “Hey,” his barely softer, “Look, sorry but I’m in a huge rush. It’s been a shit morning.”

“Me too.” You mumble, disappointment laced in your words but Kylian didn’t seem to catch onto it.

“Also, my phone shattered at some point last night, so can you call Thérèse and have her drop me off a new one at the training center?”

You huffed, getting control of your emotions that were simmering into anger. One more chance, you thought as you were about to walk out of the bathroom, you turn. “Do you want to do something when you get home? Maybe even just dinner here, a movie?”

“Maybe.” He said back, turning off the shower. All you could do is roll your eyes and bite your tongue. You were trying to give him every opportunity to come back from this.

You didn’t want to end it, but you promised yourself that if he fucks up today, that was it. You can’t keep hoping he’ll become the person he was before. He won’t listen when you talk anymore or even meet you in the middle. You have too much respect for yourself to settle for someone who can’t appreciate you.

You dry laughed. “Maybe.” You mocked, another angry tear rolling down your face, storming back into the bedroom and getting under the covers, arms crossed.

You wanted to sob, but choked it down when Kylian stormed out of the bathroom, wet and holding his towel up around his waist. “Why are you so moody?” He didn’t even look at you, just shook his head and threw his hand down, exasperated when he realized you weren’t putting an outfit together for him. “I just asked you to help me out.” He tusks. “Are you just going to lay around all day, then?”

You knew this tone. The one where something else was bothering him except he expressed it by nitpicking at anything in front of him. Being with him for so long, you knew how to gently pry out the real reason why he was snappy. Right now, there was no way were you even attempting to help him out in any way.

“Looks like it, huh?” You gritted through your teeth. You could practically feel the eye roll he gave you even though neither of you would look at each other.

He muttered something you couldn’t hear as he walked into the closet, hurriedly throwing on some outfit. “I didn’t feel like fighting today, (Y/N).” He growled and threw on a white hat. “Today has been miserable so far.”

“Miserable for you?” You gaped, face getting angrily red.

“Oh, don’t start.” He spat, grabbing his keys and walking out of the room.

You jumped up and stomped out of the room behind him, seeing him almost at the bottom of the stairs. “Kylian.”

He groaned, continuing to run down the steps. “I don’t have time for a fucking fight right now!”

“Kylian!” You yelled from the railing just as he grabbed the door handle. With an exasperated turn around, he locked eyes with your teary ones. “When you get home… we need to talk.” You didn’t try and hide your sadness this time, knowing how the talk was going to end. The sentence squeaked out, like your forced it.

He paused, taking his hand off the door handle. “Fine.” He said this differently upon seeing your broken demeanor, shuffling in place. Kylian checked his watch, looking back up at you. You stared back, watching him hesitantly leave your shared home.

Kylian knew he’d been fucking up with you lately. Coming home late, forgetting to call or text back, paying less and less attention to you as the season progressed. He knew he was getting too comfortable and at some point stopped putting in any effort. The worst was that he’d been taking his frustrations out on you, shutting you out. He watched as you tried to smile through his snarky and quick comments, feeling bad immediately but he just didn’t know how to deal with that kind of guilty emotion.

Your engagement has been a long one. Nine months in and you guys hadn’t even set a date yet. Time kept slipping through the glass, he wondered when the last time you’d even brought up the wedding was — wondering when the last time he even thought about it directly after.

The whole way to work he watched out the window, lost in thought about how he needs to be better. So much so that his driver had to tell him that they’d arrived. He was actually early. With a big fake smile on his face, he did his best to set it all aside, turning on work-mode.

Meanwhile, you had a really nice cry. The kind where you just let it all out because you knew no one was around to hear or pity you. Once you pulled yourself together, you gathered your suitcases from the attic.

It was obvious you couldn’t take everything that was yours. You’d bought so many things for this place, for your shared home… so you focused on the things you were for sure taking with you. All your clothes, makeup, sentimental items, and the fruit bowl you found in a market in Spain were secured inside your bags. You stopped and cried so many times… over a pair of shoes that he bought for you or a picture that brought back sweet memories… all these momentos felt wasted.

Yesterday, you were certain that he would remember what today was. So certain that you convinced yourself you didn’t need to get a hotel. You wished you did, because doing it today felt so final, so depressing. And, upon looking at your empty side of the closet, vanity, side table, bathroom shelf… you had to pull yourself together and be strong. Remind yourself why you’ve resorted to this.

Back at the training grounds, Kylian snapped his last photo-op with the CEO of some athletic wear company, absolutely drained from having to pretend for hours. He had sent his assistant off for a new phone when he saw her, knowing you didn’t text her about him needing one.

He trudged over to Hakimi now that all of that was over, sitting down with a long huff, placing his head in his hands. He hadn’t talked to him all day, being occupied with offers and whatnot.

“Man, I’ve been texting you all day.” He patted his back once, turning to face him.

Kylian looked up at his friend, shaking his head. “It broke last night. Thérèse is out getting me a new one now.”

Hakimi sensed there was something bothering Kylian, but knew not to approach him too strongly. He nodded at his answer. “So, uh… I bet (Y/N)’s pissed, right?”

Kylian blew a raspberry. “Oh, yeah… so pissed…” He nodded with the most exhausted look on his face. “Wait, how’d you know that?”

“Well, I mean, Hiba would be pissed too.” Kylian raised an eyebrow, still confused on how he knew about your fight. “You know, if I had to work on her birthday like this.” He laughed at the thought. “I’d have a lot of groveling to do. Or, did you guys plan something on a different day?”

Kylian gazed up at Hakimi, eyes widening with the vague memory of todays date. “Wait.” He gulped, hands hovering over his head. “Is today the…” he flipped the calendar in his mind, praying that Achraf was mistaken about that. “Ah… merde! Putain! Shit!” Kylian smacked the table and bounced up out of the chair, heart beating a million miles a minute.

Hakimi stood too, watching Kylian pace with his hands cradling his head. “No… Kylian, you didn’t…”

He nods, panic settling in hardcore. “I yelled at her today. I asked her why she was being moody. I didn’t come home last night— ah baise moi, mec. je suis un putain d'idiot!” He cursed himself. Ah fuck me, man. I’m a goddamn idiot!

Thérèse speed walked over to the man in crisis, holding a brand new phone. “All your data’s transferred and everything!” She cheered. Kylian probably didn’t even thank her, going directly to his messages with you to text you that he’s so sorry and coming home right now. When he clicked on your icon, he saw all of the messages you sent him last night

You: Ky will u please come home — 9:25 pm

You: I know ur friends are in town and all but I seriously need u with me tonight — 10:48 pm

You: hello?? — 11:51 pm

You: are u okay? Do u need a ride? — 1:35 am

You: I’m getting worried. please just reply. I need to know ur okay Kylian — 1:40 am

You: nice Snapchat story. Good to know ur fucking fine. — 2:46 am

He ran a hand over his face, beginning to sweat with guilt. His eyes lowered on the screen, the small grey message by the keyboard truly making his stomach knot up even more.

(Y/N) stopped sharing their location with you.

His heart fell in his chest, churning… he felt like he was going to puke. Suddenly all of the conversations you tried to start with him about his behavior over the last six months came flooding back. The same conversations he moaned and groaned though, always deflecting until it turned into a fight. God, how badly he had been treating you… like you were a menace in his life — when really, without you, he wouldn’t be able to go on the same.

He began trying to call you and gathered his things, but his calls simply rang until it went to voicemail. “I-I have to go.” He stammered, almost tripping over his feet. Hakimi watched, shocked at the state of his best friend, knowing how he could get sometimes.

Kylian jumped in the town car as fast as his world-renowned legs could get him there, giving the driver instructions to get him home, and quick. The whole way he cussed at slow drivers, construction workers, red lights. He checked his new phone for the time; 10:37 pm and still fifteen minutes away from home.

God, please let her still be home.

He won’t know what to do with himself if you just left.

‘We need to talk’ rung over and over again in his head like a jinx. The way your voice cracked, the tears he saw you hold back. She’s so strong, he thought.

I raised my voice at her. I forgot her birthday and then treated her like she was the problem.

He pinched his leg to distract himself from crying. He has to be level headed, calm, logical, loving, and very apologetic— everything he hasn’t been for the last months. He knows he doesn’t deserve you, but can’t imagine what his life, his future will look like if he lets you slip through his fingers.

No girl has ever made him feel like this. Everything he looked for in a woman you embodied tenfold and he fucked it up. He has to fix this.

Kylian didn’t even let the car come to a full stop when he arrived, tripping over his own feet, realizing he left his coat in the back seat but really not caring at all. He just has to know you’re there. He looked toward the driveway, seeing your car still parked in its usual spot.

Thank the lord.

Fumbling with the keys, his shaking hands clicked the door open, seeing only the living room lamp on.

“Bébé?” He called. He saw your figure looking at him from the couch. “Oh, (Y/N)…” he breathed, walking over to get closer. You stoop up, meeting him halfway. “I’m so, so sorry. I’m so sorry.” He heaved, breathless from his pounding heart.

The dull yellow light illuminating the side of your face showed him how puffy and red your eyes were, how downturned your usual smile was. He saw what he’d done to you, all the months you’ve had to walk on eggshells, the conversations that he’s turned on you, how he forgot your special day.

You still didnt say anything, keeping your arms crossed, looking him in the eye — the while begging yourself internally not to cave. His sweet eyes knew how to reel you in. You weren’t going to cave. You couldn’t.

“I forgot your birthday…” He whispered sadly, guilt drenched his tone, sending a cold depressing shiver down your spine.

Your eyes brimmed with tears again, but you bit your cheek and shook them away, having to be strong for yourself. “So, you finally remembered.” You sniffled.

“I’m so sorry, bèbè. Time just…” he stopped himself from making anymore excuses, “I’m just a fucking idiot. And I’m going to make it up to you. I promise, I’ll make it up to you.” He stammered, voice shaking from nerves.

“But, it’s not just about the birthday, Kylian. It’s been… it’s..–”

“–I know, bébé. I’ve been horrible to you. Truly horrible. You never deserved any of that.” He cautiously lifted his hand to yours, grabbing your fingers. All the words he was going to say suddenly didn’t feel good enough. No I’m sorry is going to feel sufficient.

You looked at your tangled hands, he played with your fingers anxiously, trying to catch your gaze, but it now stayed glued to the floor.

You took a deep breath and looked up at him with teary eyes — that of a wounded puppy. It broke him. “We need to talk.” Your words were laced in false strength, false confidence.

You didn’t know what the hell you were going to do once you leave him. Flying blind isn’t something you did very often, but you knew it’s what had to be done.

“Yes.” He nodded eagerly, trying to guide your hand toward the couch to sit. “Let’s talk. We can talk this all out, right?”

His hopeful tone made your heart break even more. The guiltiness that radiated off of him made it harder to do what you had to… his face fell when you let your hand slip back into your folded arms, turning away from him, sniffling.

“Kylian, I can’t… I can’t sit down with you and hold your hand and let you apologize to me. It’s not how this is gonna go.” Wiping your cheeks roughly, you turned to see his dropped face. “This talk… it’s going to be really hard. For both of us.”

He approached you, putting his hands on your forearms. “You’re scaring me, bèbè.”

Your lip quivered, not knowing how to tell him. You couldn’t look him in the eyes. “Kylian. I love you.”

“I love you too. I love you so much, (Y/N). I know we can work through this. I know it.” He pleaded, moving his face around to try and get you to look at him.

“No, Kylian. I love you, but…” You finally looked up, noticing he’d started crying as well. Ouch. “I don’t think I can do this anymore.”

He didn’t know what he was expecting. Sure, he was scared and sorry about what he did but the possibility of breaking up seemed impossible. Not like he was immune to repercussions, but you two just made sense. He loves you impossibly too much, but he’s forgotten to show you.

Kylian stood in shock, he felt his heartbeat in his teeth, his throat dry. “Don’t say that.” He whimpered. “Please, don’t say that.”

His hands traveled up to hold your face and he bent down to your level, needing you to look at him, to see how regretful he was, how much harder he will work at this. He touched his forehead to yours, wrestling with the temptation of falling down from anguish.

You shook your head between his palms, letting the tears fall freely, a small sob escaping. He wiped away the tears with his thumbs, attempting to hold you closer, squeaking out the smallest words; “Bèbè.” “No, no.” “Please.” “I’m so sorry.”

You grabbed his wrists, using all your strength to pull them from your face. Immediately, you turned around and grabbed a duffel bag he hadn’t noticed was sitting on the armchair. Your feet took you toward the exit.

“No.” His voice broken, his own face scrunched up and soaked with tears. “No, where are you going?”

It took everything in you not to comfort him, run into his arms, tell him it will be okay.

You pushed your instincts down and turning and shrugged instead, now feet away from the man you love, closing in on the front door. “I’m…” You felt a choking sob threatening to spill out of your mouth and had to look away, silently crying out with your hand covering you mouth. With a deep breath, you continued. “I’m leaving.”

“Well, when will you be back?” In just a few strides, he was back in front of you. He couldn’t help but hold your face again, wiping more tears with a gentle but pleading touch.

You gripped his wrists again, only this time, you weren’t strong enough to pull them away, instead feeling his warm skin one more time.

With a small shake of the head, you responded. “I’m not coming back, Kylian.”

“But… but this is your home. It’s our home.”

“I’m sorry, Kylian.” You finally ripped his hands from your face once more and adjusted the heavy strap on your shoulder. Turning around, your feet drag you to the front door. You reach into your back pocket and take out the house key that’s not longer attatched to your usual tassel keychain and set it down on the table.

He stood there and watched, now feeling helpless in this heart wrenching situation. It doesn’t seem like this is real, he has to be having a nightmare, just watching you leave his life and there’s nothing he can do about it — but it doesn’t stop him from trying, begging. “Amour, no. I can fix this, please just give me a chance to make this right.” He was desperate, once again approaching you.

Kylian sniffled, watching your every reaction, hoping for a glint of anything that would allow him to make it up to you. You looked down at your hands, then your left ring finger… everything in your body was holding you back from taking it off, but you mustered up every ounce of self control.

Kylian looked away as you slid the engagement ring off, hearing the light clink of it being set next to the keys. With his hands at his sides, back slouching, he looked back at your face, nodding in defeat.

“I’m sorry.” You repeated in a squeaky whisper.

“Me too.” He nods, looking down at your empty hand. He couldn’t but reach out, trapping your fingers delicately with his fingers, stepping closer.

His arm snakes around your waist, holding you, shaking with his suppressed cries. You allowed yourself to hug him back, to close the chapter, to feel his warm embrace again before you never would again.

The hug lasted for a while, swaying back and forth and crying into each others shoulders. He smelled like he always did, and you noted how hard it would be if you came across his familiar scent again. He also was getting high on your fumes, indulging in the coconut scented shampoo he had become addicted to. The touch of your hands clasping at his back made him cry harder, squeezing you tighter and lovingly.

You pulled back once your cries calmed, sniffling. He stayed close, lifting his eyes to look into yours. Before he knew how to stop himself, he closed in the space, landing his salty lips on yours, closing his eyes. You kissed him back, hating how much you’d miss him. The way his fingers dug into your hips made you lightheaded.

It’s too hard to stop, but you had to. Pulling away, you turned around quickly and left, sobbing all the way to your packed up car.

Kylian was glued in place. His heart had been put through a blender, his head throbbed, his chest was cold without you with him. He saw the flash of your headlights backing out and leaving the property reflect inside the dark and empty home.

He’s miserable, hollow. He’s angry at himself, maybe at you, even if he knows this was his own doing… the whirling in his brain wasn’t anywhere near as loud as the silence after you left — a deafening silence that followed him up to us bedroom, one he now only shared with his thoughts.

It killed him when he saw there was no longer a charger plugged next to your side of the bed, that your slippers were gone from their usual spot by the corner. None of your favorite books were displayed on the shelves, your skincare products left just a ring of residue on the sink. Stepping into the closet, he noticed it still smelled like you, but everything was gone. Everything but the shirts of his that you had stolen through the years, now neatly folded on top of one of his dressers. He wished you had taken them to remember him. He wished he could turn back time and do everything right.

Above all the sadness and the gaping hole is his heart was determination. He fucked up but he wasn’t about to do it again. You would not be the one that got away. It may be the last thing he ever does, but he’ll make it all up to you. He was prepared to go to the furthest lengths to hold you again. But, for now, he needed to wallow in self pity, feel everything that he needs to feel.

Not even on the chilliest Parisian night had his bed felt as cold as it did that day.

A/N: Okay I feel like I kinda dragged that out but angst! I’m contemplating a part 2 but I also kinda like leaving it at this… would y’all want another part? Also, the title is inspired by the song The Loneliest by Måneskin, listen to it after reading. Their new album is so fucking amazing. — Requests for Kylian Mbappé are open! —

[sc0tters]

Repeated Promises | Trevor Zegras

summary: Trevor sees you out with Alex and that unleashes some big emotions in him that he’s dying to tell you about.

request: yes/no

warnings: swearing, mature scenes, oral (fem receiving!)

word count: 1.78k

authors note: this didn’t make super smut Thursday because I didn’t originally plan on making this smutty but then it just happened. And Trevor’s already got his piece for this Thursday planned out. Been eating for this part so I’m glad I’ve finally gotten it written.

pt1

He thought you two were good.

Life was good, you and Trevor were good, everything was good. You seemed to be okay with the idea of just being friends with a little bit more. Trevor actually found himself growing fond of you, the late night cuddles, the shared laughs over dinner as you two watched a movie.

Which is why he was so surprised when Twitter seemed to be having a meltdown over you being caught in downtown LA in Alex’s hoodie whilst he had his arm around you.

It made Trevor feel sick to his stomach, he wasn’t naturally jealous but the image of you looking up at Alex with a toothy grin had him wanting to go feral. Maybe it wouldn’t have hurt as much if you also hadn’t blown off you plans you had with the Ducks player that evening.

You were totally unaware of the fact that you were taking up all of the space in Trevor’s mind as you lay on your couch mindlessly scrolling through your phone.

A smile formed on your lips as you came across a Snapchat highlight that Cole had sent you. Trevor was stood between your legs as you fed him a piece of mango.

Those moments were things you loved, they were the true time when Trevor fooled you into thinking that he could have loved you. Especially since he came back from the lake house, the way his hands would wrap around your waist before he’d pick you up and throw you onto your bed.

It was playful and romantic as he would kiss the back of your neck when you were getting ready in the bathroom. Sure it felt like a punch to the gut as each time he’d leave your apartment you were reminded by the fact that he wasn’t ever really yours, not truly.

You craved the comfort that would have come from him being yours because as much as you tried to pull away by getting closer with Alex, nothing really did ever work well enough.

So when there was a knock at your door it pulled you away from rethinking about those memories “hey-” you were surprised to see Trevor, whenever he came over you two had always planned it.

He looked angry as he locked eyes with you “where is he?” Trevor asked as his eyes cringed at the sight of you still in Alex’s hoodie.

It wasn’t farfetched for you to still be in it as your apartment was always freezing “who?” You furrowed your eyebrows as you didn’t know who he was talking about.

You would have looked beautiful if that hoodie was different because you were not wearing shorts under it and that was soon going to become clear “Alex, y/n who else would I be talking about?” He spoke in a duh tone as he pushed past you and into your apartment.

There wasn’t a moment that you ever thought that Trevor was jealous. It wasn’t something you thought he was capable of feeling “I hung out with him,” you announced with a scoff “so what?” It reminded you of the time back at the lake house when you had tried to avoid him.

All of your friends were upset that their effort to help you leave him had failed “you think this is some kind of joke or something?” The hockey player was ready to punch a wall as he picture Alex’s face there instead.

You crossed your arms as you followed him to your kitchen “why are you so upset that I hung out with my friend?” You didn’t appreciate the boy coming in and calling you the bad guy “your friend?” Trevor couldn’t believe the words that feel from your lips as he walked over to you.

Your body was pressed up against your counter as your breathing slowed “you don’t look at him like he’s just a fucking friend,” the boy spat as his hand pushed up your leg when he was so upset that he didn’t even notice your lack of shorts.

Alarm bells rang through your head but you couldn’t help it when you felt your panties turn wet as the thoughts pooled in them “he is,” you mumbled as you sat on the counter.

Trevor hooked his fingers under your jaw “you look at him like you look at me.” He pointed out as he began placing kisses on your chin going down your jaw.

Before you knew it your fingers locked in his hair “you jealous?” Your voice came out in a groan as you tried to shut your thighs to conceal the feelings that went through your brain but you couldn’t because he was stood between you.

It was rough trying to keep your calm “not jealous,” he shook his head “not when I can give you the world.” He explained as he pulled away to face you.

The hockey player didn’t know what to think about as all he wanted to do was kiss you “got you in my mind twenty four seven,” the boy confessed as his fingers brushed over your lower lip.

Your eyes went wide “no you don’t,”you shook your head as you tried to push his chest away but he remained stood where he was “I’m crazy about you baby.” Trevor pointed out as he really didn’t know where all of this was coming from.

Throughout his whole life he had never quite like he did in that moment “really?” You let out a gasp as you cocked your head.

His hands continued to move up your legs “on fuck baby,” he groaned as his fingers met the lacy fabric of your underwear.

You turned pink as he lifted up your hoodie to confirm what he thought “you knew I’d be here didn’t you?” Trevor asked as he could see the wet patch on your panties “god you’re so wet,” he mumbled as he placed kissed down your neck.

It was like your voice disappeared as the boy hooked his fingers into your panties “want to show you just how much I care about you,” the devilish smile spread on Trevor’s face as he watched your red thong hit the floor.

Before you could let him do that though you placed your hands on either side of his face “I’m crazy about you.” You confessed causing the boy to waste no time as he kissed you.

There wasn’t as much lust in this one as there usually is and he couldn’t help but grow frustrated when you didn’t let his tongue in your mouth.

But with Trevor being Trevor he had a plan so instead he let his fingers dance over your clit yet you moaned when he thrusted into your core.

That gave him the chance to let his tongue move inside of you “such pretty sounds,” Trevor cooed as he let out a grunt against your ear.

You nodded as you clenched around his fingers “quicker,” you begged as you began to grind against his fingers “my needy little girl.” The boy wanted to smirk but as his pants grew tight he could no longer handle it.

Trevor pulled his fingers out of you whimpered “don’t worry doll,” he chuckled as he kissed your temple “won’t let you go just yet,” the boy mumbled as his eyes never left yours when he dropped to his knees “please T.” You begged as you watched him kiss up your thighs.

The boys smirk could be felt as it radiated off of your thighs “you know if you don’t hurry up I might just go find-” you were cut off as his tongue licked a long strip up your slit.

His head was quickly locked into place as your thighs wrapped around his head making sure he truly couldn’t leave you

It was hot as you let out a long moan “just like that,” your head hit the cupboard behind you as the boy refused to stop sucking on your clit. His tongue pleasured you in ways that you knew you never could, no matter how hard you tried Trevor truly did ruin you for all other men.

Not even phone sex helped you, in order to come it had to be his tongue, his fingers, his dick was a pick part of that too. But in general you used needed Trevor.

Your thoughts had gotten so clouded that you didn’t even notice that his tongue was currently lapping up your wetness “fuck delight,” your hand gripped at his brunette locks as you let your hips grind against him.

Trevor let his eyes trail up as you pulled Alex’s hoodie off of your body letting it fling somewhere else in your kitchen. His hand moved up to your bra as he let out a grunt watching you quickly unclip your bra “my pretty little girl,” the hockey player cooed as his thumb rubbed over your nipple “all ready to get fucked out,” he groaned as he watched you nod.

His tongue went back to fucking your core as he continued to tease your stiff peaks “all for you,” you confessed as your body shuddered when you felt his nose hit your clit “keep doing just that please,” you begged as your hand locked over his.

You gasped when he lay his tongue flat on your clit before he let himself move back into your core, a motion that he continued to repeat a few more times “I’m gonna cum fuck!” Your legs began to shake as his tongue refused to leave your core.

The orgasm hit you like a truck as your eyes screwed shut “enough T-” you got the sentence out as you unlocked your legs from around his head.

Trevor smiled as he got up from the floor “always tasting so good,” your release caused his chin to glisten.

His fingers ran over your thighs as he pulled you into a kiss wanting you to taste yourself on his tongue “never gonna get tired of that,” the first his he’d give you after you came always made you melt into his touch.

Somehow though it seemed like there was something on his mind “what’s up?” You asked like he wasn’t just eating you out minutes ago.

The boy stood between your legs as his arms rested on either side of you “wanna take you out on a real date.” He blurted out taking you by surprise.

Over the last year you always thought you would be the one to ask him out. A giggle left your lips “really?” You weren’t letting your surprise stay hidden.

“Promised you the fucking world baby.”

[oreoluvskento]

I don't even know what to call this, more sexy time with nanami i guess

a/n: I wrote this a while ago and its just been sitting in my drafts, idk i feel like i should be ashamed, probably the nastiest thing i've written, i had no clue how to end this so just pretend the end doesnt exist

wc: 3.1k, its literally ALL SMUT

cw: afab y/n, black y/n, riled up nd horny nanami, nanami ties y/n's wrists, spits in her mouth, tearing clothes, face fucking, nanami loves eating pussy, use of sir by y/n, very slight degradation, slight praise, y/n is a good girl, edging, orgasm denial, aftercare, showering together, SLIGHT fluff at the end

Story begins after the cut

~~~~

You were scrolling through your phone later in the day, around the time that Nanami was wrapping up at work. A notification from Snapchat pops up, encouraging you to look through your memories. As you swipe through them, a video of you in a scandalous dress you wore out with your friends one night pops up. You remember that Nanami never got to see you in the dress, since you bought it that same day while you were shopping with them.

   You send it to Nanami immediately, along with the other pictures and videos you took that same night, not thinking much of it. A little bit later, he texts you back, letting you know he's on his way home. You heart the message, excited to see your boyfriend again and try to distract your excited mind by turning on the living room TV. It works, and you become invested in the reality show that was on. Fifteen minutes pass by and you hear the front door's lock begin to turn. 

   You practically run to the door to meet him and when the door finally opens, your smile widens. "Hi, babe!" You exclaim. "I missed y-" Nanami interrupts you by wrapping his hand around your throat and pulling you in for a particularly rough kiss. It catches you off guard but you quickly gather yourself, moaning in his mouth as you kiss him back. You're not sure when or where he put his briefcase down, but he was already pushing you against the wall, his hand shoving its way up your shirt, fondling your boobs. 

   "Angel," Nanami pants and you moan in response. "Why would you send me pictures like that while I'm at work?" He asks and nips your neck. 

    "Didn't think they'd make you react like this," You sigh as he sucks on the area underneath your jaw. 

    "I sped the entire way home just to see you sooner. You had me hard in a meeting, angel, but thankfully I was sitting down. I think this deserves a punishment, yeah?" He growls and you groan as he moves his hand from your neck down to your throbbing pussy. 

    "I'm sorry-" A moan ripples through your body as he begins rubbing your clothed clit, cutting your sentence short. 

     "I know, beautiful, but I can't just let it slide, now can I?" He asks, his lips still against your neck and his fingers moving faster. You shake your head, knowing if you open your mouth to answer him, you'll moan. "Good girl," He smiles and picks you up, leading you to your bedroom. He drops you onto the bed and begins to remove his tie. You reach up to do it and he flashes you a confused look, making you immediately lean back down. 

   "Did I ask you to help me?" He asks and you shake your head, feeling slightly ashamed but you feel yourself get more aroused. He takes the tie off and holds it in one hand. "Arms out," He commands and you immediately do as he says. You hold back a smile as he ties your wrists together. You were grateful that your boyfriend was usually very sweet and caring towards you but ever since the first time you were "punished", you found yourself craving it more and more. Of course, you didn't make Nanami angry on purpose, you wouldn't be able to enjoy the aftermath in good conscience, so these moments were very rare and you made sure to savor them as much as possible. 

    All you were wearing was a sports bra and a loose pair of shorts and Nanami could see your hardened nipples through the material, making him even harder. He contemplates going easy on you today but then the images of you in the dress flash through his mind and he gets riled up again. "I'm going to rip this off of you," He warns, not giving you any time to react properly before doing it. 

   Before you know it, your top is on the floor, ripped at the straps and at the back, and your jaw drops. Before you can complain, Nanami shoves his thumb into your mouth, silencing you immediately. "I'll buy you a new one. Now come here," You scoot towards the edge of the bed and watch as he removes his belt and unbuttons his pants. He pulls his hard dick out and you feel your mouth water as you anticipate feeling the weight of it on your tongue. As if he could read your mind, Nanami tells you to stick your tongue out. 

   You do as he says and instead of him putting his dick on your tongue, he grabs your face and spits in your mouth. You moan at his actions, trying to stop yourself from rutting against the bed, and he follows up by finally slapping his dick against your tongue. You sit there as he swipes his head back and forth on the muscle, awaiting instruction. Nanami smiles at your good behavior and he gives you the go-ahead. Unable to use your hands, you take his dick into your mouth using your tongue and suck your way down slowly. "That's my girl... so fucking good for me," He growls.

   Nanami loved watching you like this, submissive and obedient to him. You took his dick so well; that was one of his favorite things about you. Whether it was in your pussy or in your mouth, you always had him moaning. He watches his length disappear into your mouth, your eyes looking up at his through your long lashes, as you bobbed your head back and forth and it made his dick twitch. Nanami grabs your head and pulls it completely off his dick, watching as a string of saliva hangs from it, and slowly slides it back into your mouth. You take it happily, causing him to groan and he continues like that, slowly fucking your face. He pushes his cock into your cheek and takes a mental picture of you, smiling to himself. 

   He begins going faster and you can tell he's about to come soon. He pushes further down your throat as he thrusts, causing your eyes to water at the sudden roughness. Nanami watches as the tears fall down your face as he continues using your face as a fleshlight and it makes him want to go deeper. It's not like he was into tears, he never wanted to see you cry, but the first time he noticed you crying during sex, it was wraps. Your tear-stained face looked so beautiful whenever he would fuck you, so much so that it made him question his sanity a little bit. 

   You're audibly gagging as he's abusing your throat, his eyebrows furrowed and his head thrown back as he nears his own orgasm. His thrusts become sloppy and he begins groaning louder. "Fuck, baby, you look so beautiful with my dick in your mouth," He growls. "You're going to be a good girl and let me cum on your face, yeah? Show me how sorry you are for teasing me today."

    You hum in response, your pussy already incredibly wet, and Nanami loses control. The vibration of your throat against his tip causes him to lean over slightly, pushing his dick deeper into your throat and he feels the cum begin to rise up his shaft. He quickly pulls out, stroking his dick, and finishes on your face and in your mouth. You feel the warmth on your cheek, your tongue, and the tip of your nose. As Nanami catches his breath, you take his dick into your mouth once more, bobbing your head and sucking his tip, beckoning any remaining cum to be released into your mouth. 

    Nanami curses as he feels himself in your mouth again, the pleasure almost too much. He pulls out of you and lifts your chin, your cum-decorated face looking back up at him. He leans in, and you think he's going to kiss you, so when you feel his tongue drag across your cheek, it catches you by surprise. He shoves his tongue into your mouth and you moan when you taste his nut on his tongue, realizing what he's doing. He massages his tongue with yours and when he pulls away again, he does the same thing. Nanami repeats this until your face is clean, and finally kisses you properly.

    It's sloppy, and you love it, enjoying how riled up he is, wondering if he's been holding himself back for the past few days that you came home tired from studying. He lays you down as he kisses you, pulling your bound wrists over your head. You continue kissing him as you feel his hand slide into your shorts and run his fingers up and down your pussy. He groans as he feels how wet you are, and he pulls away to pull them down. You wore underwear today, and he slightly frowned as he pulled that off too. You found that funny, but you decided against laughing. 

   "Sucking my dick got you this wet?" He asks as he pushes a finger inside of you, and your eyes roll to the back of your head, nodding at his question. He shakes his head as he continues fucking you with one finger. "Fucking slut," He spits and you unknowingly clench at his words. He begins going faster and you're panting now, wanting to come.  

   "Ken, 's not enough, need more, please," You whine and he stops all the way. You cry at the loss of stimulation and he grabs your face once again, your lips slightly squishing together. 

   "Ken?" He questions and your eyes widen at your mistake. 

   "'M sorry sir, I forgot," You quickly say and he lets go. He goes back to fucking you with his middle finger, going slower this time, and you moan at the feeling. He pushes his thumb against your clit and your back arches as you gasp. He continues rubbing circles into your clit and fingering you with one finger, not speeding up. Nonetheless, you feel your orgasm coming on. Nanami feels it too, with the way you're clenching around him, and he adds another finger. Nanami smiles as you cry out in pleasure, your breathing getting faster. 

    "Sir, please don't stop, I'm gonna cum," You pant and he stops anyway. You groan as you watch him lick his fingers and lie down in front of you. Your attitude quickly changes as he holds your legs open in front of him. You watch as he puts his face in between your legs, and you expect to feel his tongue on your clit, but instead you feel it circling around it, never touching it. It turns you on but ultimately, you just want your clit in his mouth. You begin bucking your hips, trying to tell him that you want him to stop teasing you, and he lightly slaps your thigh, stopping your movements altogether. 

   "Stay fucking still," He growls and you do as he says. You feel yourself shake as you try not to move, your chest rising and falling each time he misses your clit. Finally, he slurps your clit into his mouth and a shiver runs through your body. Nanami begins to relentlessly eat you out, the sounds coming from his mouth unbelievably loud. You feel yourself nearing the edge again and it takes all of your willpower to stop yourself from grinding on his face. 

    Nanami hears your breathing pick up and your moans get louder and he knows you're close. He pulls away again, laughing as you groan in frustration. He kisses the inside of your thighs, allowing you to catch your breath. You watch him as he rubs your clit softly, applying minimal pressure and he presses a wet kiss to the sensitive nub. Without warning, he starts lapping at it again, your legs automatically closing around his head at the sensation. Nanami pulls your legs apart as he continues his ministrations and inserts a single finger inside you. 

    Your eyes roll to the back of your head as he continues and he locates your G-spot immediately, his finger brushing against the squishy pad. Your eyes roll to the back of your head as you feel a warmth wash over you, a sign that you are nearing your orgasm again. "Sir, please, I'm close. Please let me come," You whine and Nanami pulls away once again. He sits up and smiles at your chest, which is rising and falling rapidly. 

   He lifts your hips and aligns himself with your entrance, a devious look on his face. "You know, I still haven't decided if you're even going to come at all," He says and your eyes widen. 

   You begin to apologize profusely, not wanting to be left like this. "Sir, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to tease you! Please let me cum, I'll be good, please, I'm sorry!" You cry and Nanami raises an eyebrow at your desperation. He wasn't going to leave you high and dry, he'd never do that, and you knew that too, but your submissive instinct took over. He pushes into you slowly, your eyebrows furrowing as you feel him filling you up. Once he bottoms out, he leans down and kisses you, neater this time, and you kiss him back happily. 

    "Don't come without my permission, understand?" He asks and you nod. He kisses you one last time before sitting up and pulling out of you. He thrusts back in and you grunt at the sudden force. You're still teetering on the edge of your previous impending orgasm so you're already feeling close. Nanami easily slides in and out of you, your pussy so wet that the sounds are adding to his pleasure. He holds your legs open as he continues, his own orgasm threatening to arrive. 

   Your moans get louder, and you begin to feel bad for your neighbors. Nanami feels the same and he covers your mouth, telling you to be quieter. Ironically, he goes faster and harder, leaning down and hanging your leg off of his shoulder as he hits your G-spot over and over. You begin repeating his name from behind his hand, your voice muffled. He removes it and you inform him of your current status. 

    "Gonna come, sir. So, so close, please let me come," You pant and he goes faster, changing the way he's stroking. He pushes your legs back further, your thighs now pressed into your chest. You feel him deeper than before and you attempt to push him away, to stop yourself from coming, but he just pushes your wrists back. 

   "You'll take it, and you won't come until I say so," He rasps and you groan. Nanami doesn't change his pace and continues attacking your G-spot. You're clenching him tight, even you can feel it, as you try not to come. Nanami goes faster, fighting against the muscles in your pussy, and you just know you won't last much longer. Finally, you feel his hips begin to stutter and he begins rubbing your clit, slowly to start off. 

    "You want to come?" He asks and you nod aggressively. "You promise you won't do that again? That you'll always be a good girl for me?" He's rubbing your clit faster now, and you feel yourself start to slip. You give him a broken yes and he gains control of himself again and begins to pummel into you. "Go ahead and come all over my dick, baby," He says and you do just that. 

    Your orgasm knocks the wind out of you. Your head goes blank as you writhe underneath him, unsure of if he's coming as well. Nanami's orgasm took him as soon as yours did. You began gushing all over his dick and he couldn't hold on anymore. He has to hold your hips down as you come so you don't roll off the bed. You don't know how long your orgasm lasts, but Nanami fucks you through the entire thing. When you're done, he unties you and helps you lay on him, your head on his chest. 

    Once you've caught your breath you look up at Nanami, who's lying with his eyes closed. You press a kiss to his jaw and he opens his eyes to look at you. "I missed you," You tell him, your voice tired. He turns his body over slightly as he kisses your forehead, holding the back of your neck. 

    "I missed you too, angel. You okay? It wasn't too much right?" He asks, referring to what you two just did. No matter how rough he is, Nanami always makes sure you're okay afterward and you love it. This was honestly one of the more tame experiences you've had with him and he's still here, eyebrows furrowed, worried if you're alright. 

    You laugh softly, your hand on his. "I'm okay, Ken. It was perfect," You assure him as you straddle him and press a soft kiss to his lips. He stays still as you kiss him, allowing your lips to meet for a quick second before you sit back up.

   Nanami watches as you unbutton his shirt for him. He didn't realize that he never took it off until now and it made him laugh. Usually, the routine is for him to come home and you help him get undressed. He'd take a shower and you'd always be waiting on the bed for him when he got out to help him get dressed in his casual clothes. Today, however, he got a little distracted. 

    You smile as you reach the last button, and you open the shirt, revealing his chest. His body was something you don't think you'd ever get used to. No matter how many times you've seen him shirtless, you still couldn't help but stare every time. Nanami sits up as you're staring, his face parallel to yours as he shrugs his top off. "Shower with me?" He asks you as he closes the gap between your faces. 

    Your forehead rests on his as a smile spreads across your face. "Duh," You say in a joking tone, and Nanami stands up with your legs holding onto his waist. Like always, he puts you down on the counter as he turns on the water. As it runs, he comes back over to you and gives you a quick kiss as he runs his knuckles down your face. 

    "I can't believe I've never seen those pictures before, y/n. You looked too good for me to even comprehend. I'm happy I saw it when I saw it, I probably would've left work early if I picked up my phone a little earlier." He tells you and you laugh, slightly embarrassed. The two of you shower, eat dinner afterwards, and spend the rest of the day in bed together.

[remedyturtles]

out of curiosity, are you an only child? I'm one of four brothers (aged 2-26) and have multiple estranged half siblings, and I've always found the way you write familial interactions between the brothers to be just. incredibly realistic and raw

Especially between Leo and Donnie - their interactions in your writing will occasionally (bar the codependency...) parallel interactions between my older brother and I to a T and it's. so touching

If you are an only child, what goes into writing familial interactions for you?

If not, do you have any specific memories or experiences of your own that you melt into interactions between the brothers?

Your writing brings me so much comfort and makes me love my brothers just a little harder

LMAO definitely NOT an only child hahahaha. i have an older sister and an older brother, then two bonus brothers

hmm! experiences... let's see. under a cut bc you got me rambling abt my family LMAO

our family groupchat is titled 'live and don't learn that's us'

once my brother drove over 12 hours all night to come rescue my sister and i after our car broke down during a road trip and the only payment he took was pizza

i still have an envelope that my brother slid under my door after a fight with other family that says on the top 'I HEARD YOU WERE UPSET BUT BIG BROTHER STILL LOVES YOU'

at my high school graduation, my brother took a very expensive trip home for two days just to walk me down the aisle. i did a speech and wasn't nervous at all bc every SINGLE time i looked out at the crowd he was looking at me with the fucking BIGGEST smile on his face

after my sister moved out and went to university she called me every single day

there was a girl that was going after my brother against his wishes and my sister picked up the phone when she called and threatened her so hard that she never talked to my brother again and like ten years later he was like 'yeah she just gave up one day idk what happened' and we were like 'um sister happened' and he was like 'WAIT WHAT' LMAO

for years me and bonus brother #1 would steal sister's phone and make her background a selfie of us and she never changed it and even one year was like 'hey the selfie is super old can you guys take a new one'

i also have a photo saved on my phone after bonus brother #1 got out of a surgery legit in his hospital bed with the caption 'i lived bitch'

i have been wearing a jean jacket i stole from bonus brother #2 for years and last time he saw me i was wearing it and he did not even remember it was his anymore

every snapchat i've taken of bonus brother #2 is captioned with 'bitch'

last christmas we did powerpoint presentations over discord. sister assigned everyone roles in star wars. brother provided a satirical how-to on home maintenance. bonus brother #1 talked about magic the gathering.

i didn't take many pictures but i do have this moment from sister's that made me laugh out loud:

then another badly taken picture from brother's:

i know what you're wondering now. rem, what did you do your presentation on?

cue groans from my entire family. except, wait....

the only use i've gotten out of my bachelor's degree LMAO

anyway if you got this far, the point is that i am definitely NOT an only child lol. we have issues too of course but they're pretty cool

[nightwing-bootylicious]

Batfam as things I've found in my Snapchat memories

Cass: when I die, I want to be buried in the dirt without the coffin, under a tree sapling so my decomposing body can feed the earth, just like god intended.

Steph: so... without the peel?

Cass: yes, without the peel.

-

Alfred: oh, you're finally dating, master Tim? How nice. Was this an... online thing? I've heard that's possible these days.

Tim: oh good no-

Duke: yeah, he mail-ordered the guy in from Colombia.

-

Roy: yeah if you want I could cook us a Philly feese chake?

Jason: a... a what?

Roy: a Philly shreds steak?

Jason: oh my god you idiot--

-

Harper: who else brings their plushies to their tattoo appointments?

-

Damian: *points a ketchup bottle at Dick* I am holding you at ketchup point. Give me that sandwich, or there shall be dire consequences sir.

-

Babs: looking at these tiktok videos makes me wish I had a motorcycle girlfriend

Dick: I'm so sorry I can't be your motorcycle girlfriend.

-

Bruce: the phrase "don't throw penis cheerios at me" is not one I was prepared to hear today.

-

Duke: *choking while eating sweet tarts* of all the ways I imagined offing myself, this was not one of them-

-

Steph: hey, what up with this random cheese tray?

Alfred: oh, you know, master Bruce went to a eulogy this morning.

Steph: huh?

Alfred: *does not elaborate*

-

Dick: I accidentally swallowed a fruit loop ring whole and now I'm having an emotional crisis

[nembzz]

Where were you a year ago when the Tavastia 1 videos and pictures strated dropping???

At first I was getting ready for a club and just freaking out at home. But after that I was in the club in an empty dancefloor, and my friend was sending me all the videos she saw. I was forced to watch the videos in public and and freak out on the dancefloor😅😅

But that finally gave me the courage to ask for Carpe Diem and I danced and sang to it alone 😂😂 (found video evidence of it on my Snapchat memories 😅😅 I was evidently very happy even though it was a bit cringe)

Tell me about your experiences 😁😁

[urmomsmattress]

this is a marauders post but it’s also kinda personal just stay with me

i’m a sophomore in college and if you asked me right now how long i’ve been a marauders fan i’d say since like december of 2023

like i’ve always known what’s going on and who people are and stuff (i posted a tiktok on halloween, and the happy xmas (war is over) has always hurt my feelings) but like this is my most prominent fandom right now and im way deeper in it than ive ever imagined

but i’ll get flashbacks from my camera roll or my snapchat about marauders thoughts i had from 4 years ago, and i don’t ever remember having been a fan at that time ???

i was diagnosed with epilepsy around then and my memory from those 2-3 years is pretty hazy because i was in and out of consciousness a lot yk so it makes sense that i dont remember

like ig i started reading atyd 3 years ago and i have no recollection of it. i do remember having to restart it when i picked it back up in december, but i don’t remember having been a sophomore in hs and reading atyd 😭 as far as i know i wasn’t in the fandom at all then

but idk my point is that i think it’s so important that even though i don’t remember having been a fan, it still found its way back to me and i think thats pretty cool

[djarinova]

HAPPY 2 YEAR MIDNIGHTS ANNIVERSARY!!

please enjoy my lil yap <3

my favourite songs upon my first listen were anti-hero, midnight rain and lavender haze 🫶 and honestly anti-hero has never left the rotation <3

the songs i found the most overrated/ the ones i did not vibe with at first were you're on your own kid and maroon (i am SO sorry i promise i have righted my wrongs and i adore both those songs now)

my favourite 3am edition song was (and still is) the great war. literally one of my most precious songs ever:( i love her :(

my midnights memories are incredibly special to me:( it was my first proper tay album release (although i was around for lover release but i just listened to it like. 6 months late) and i listened to the album at my boyfriends second year uni house while he was out at a lecture<3 i was having a grand time dancing around his bedroom and giving my snapchat story all my thoughts during my first listen 🥺

and my current top songs, including ALL versions of the album, are:

you're losing me (for obvious reasons, literally one of my favourite taylor songs of alllll time, i still remember listening to it via tumblr audio for the first time bec it was cd only to begin with)

sweet nothing (has always been one of my favourites from the album tbh, i just love how sweet it is🥺🥺)

anti-hero (no further thoughts. just a bop)

maroon (been v obsessed with this song over the last few months, it keeps growing and growing on me and rising up the ranks teheh)

this is mostly for bestie ada @kurooscopy but i wanted to make a lovely little post because midnights is so special <3 also I GOT THE MIDNIGHTS CARDIGAN EHEHE IM SO EXCITED

[another-loseer]

stalked my snapchat memories and found this pic

made me think back to when i first moved out when i was 19/20 and used to always have plans or something to get ready for

now when i think about it, i love that shit. getting ready to go out with friends, house parties, putting on makeup and getting dressed up.

i feel like i lack that fun in my life recently :(( i am still so young and should be able to have that life again. i don’t know what i’m missing to experience that again…

i want to dress up and do my makeup and have somewhere fun to be with my friends. i don’t know why we don’t do that anymore :((

[rebuke-me]

6 + deere

6. things you said under the stars and in the grass

(og post)

Jake was stretched out on the back lawn of Brooke's beach house when Jeremy finally found him. The grass wasn't exactly the most comfortable, the sort of stiff grass that grew too close to the sea. But there Jake was, laying on it, staring at the sky.

"Hey." Jeremy said, shoving his hands in his pockets. "You good?"

Jake's eyes flicked towards him, and he grinned a little bit. "I am so great. Never been better." His smile flickered. "Sorry I dipped."

Jeremy hesitated, before he awkwardly crouched next to the other. "No, it's fine. Just, y'know, I'm usually the one to disappear outside during get-togethers. Got worried."

Jake laughed. "Aw, you worried about me?"

Jeremy felt his face flush. "Yeah. I did. I kind of do that a lot."

Jake reached out, tugging on Jeremy's sleeve. "Lay down."

"Are you insane? This grass sucks." Jeremy said, even as he laid down, stretched out next to Jake. There were more stars out here, so close to the ocean. The light pollution this far out was less, and speckles of stars spread out. "Oh. That's- actually kind of pretty."

"Thought you'd like it." Jake said, looking back up. For a few moments, they were both quiet. "It's, uh, been a year. Since my parents left. I just realized it."

Jeremy's mouth went dry. "Oh, I'm- sorry. I mean, I'm sure Brooke wouldn't have done this whole thing if she knew. Are you-"

Jake waved his hand. "I'm fine. I mean- the actual day was last weekend. I just realized it now. Because I didn't even notice on the actual day, you know? But I got a memory on fucking Snapchat that the party I threw the weekend after they left happened. So... the anniversary of them leaving passed, and I literally didn't notice. That's fucked, right?"

Jeremy was quiet. "I mean- I wouldn't say so. They're the ones who were fucked. You don't have to mourn people who were shitty to you. Unless you want to. But, like, they chose to leave. Why should you care about it more than they do?"

Jake's head turned to him, the light from the back door of the beach house casting warm highlights in his hair, turning it almost bronze. "Yeah. You're right."

"I am?"

"Yeah. And, like, you guys are here. You didn't leave or anything. And you came to look for me. That's... really sweet of you, actually." Jake grinned, the one he saved for genuine moments, the one that tugged higher on one side than the other, the one that made his right cheek dimple, just a little.

Jeremy turned to look back at the stars, trying to count them. "We don't have to go back in, if you don't want to. They're playing Quiplash, and Jenna started a game where they take a shot every time Rich makes a dick joke. We're good to miss it for a bit."

"Ah, shit, but that sounds hilarious." Jake said, but he didn't move to get up. Instead, fingers brushed the back of Jeremy's knuckles, just a little, as if needing to be a little closer. "You think they'll make a comment if we go in together?"

"What, do they think we're gonna be, like, making out on the grass?" Jeremy said, trying to joke. It didn't come out that way.

"I dunno. We could." Jake shrugged, before he slipped his hand into Jeremy's, making his heart stutter. "But maybe when I'm not a little tipsy. And kind of pathetically sad."

Jeremy gently squeezed his hand, praying his own wasn't sweaty and gross. "I don't think you're pathetically sad. I think it's nice out here."

Jake smiled, a softer, non-dimpled smile. "Yeah. It is."

[venusjaynie]

st social media au pt2

no real story line here, just another stranger things social media fic!

ST social media au masterlist here

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

itsbuckleybitch

Liked by y/ns.priv24, stevie.h, argyledude, and others.

itsbuckleybitch: folks, here we have steven marigold harrington in his natural habitat; stacking videos at our shitty job in a shitty video store

View comments.

stevie.h: buckley that is not my name and you know it

↳ itsbuckleybitch: do i know that?

↳ stevie.h: i hate you

y/ns.priv24: babe you look depressed af in this

↳ stevie.h: aw thank you baby. you're so kind

b.hargrove: cheer up harrington. munsons party's tonight

↳ stevie.h: i know dude. it's the only thing getting me through this gd shift

↳ itsbuckleybitch: hey dingus i think i'm making this shift a little more bareable

↳ stevie.h: um. no.

b.hargrove

Liked by stevie.h, itsbuckleybitch, y/ns.priv24 and others.

b.hargrove: the ladies say im almost as hot as my camaro

View comments.

y/ns.priv24: your tits look good in this

↳ b.hargrove: go fuck yourself

↳ y/ns.priv24: i took that photo. i was there. don't act as if you didn't pull your jacket back to show off your chest, and don't even try to convince everyone that that's a candid pic. it took you 45 minutes and 30024 poses to get the one you wanted.

↳ thefreakmunson: jesus christ. that was harsh kid

stevie.h: tbh hargrove, my girlfriend wasn't lying when she said your tits look good

↳ y/ns.priv24: steve i appreciate you agreeing with me (for once smh) but can you stop flirting with billy for one second

↳ itsbuckleybitch: yeah dingus, shes right. its getting out of hand

↳ stevie.h: as if you didn't kiss my gf at her birthday party when you were drunk

↳ y/ns.priv24 : that was a birthday kiss. doesn't count. it was robs present to me

↳ stevie.h: oh my god

stevie.h

Liked by itsbuckleybitch, nanceewheeler, y/ns.priv24 and others.

stevie.h: found this absolute fuckin gem in my snapchat memories

View comments.

y/ns.priv24: amazing. spectacular. this picture is like a christmas present i love it.

itsbuckleybitch: harrington take this down right now

↳ stevie.h: hm... nah

nanceewheeler: robin looking cute as ever

↳ itsbuckleybitch: nance stop im blushing

↳ johnnybyers: buckley stop hitting on my girlfriend

↳ nanceewheeler: byers don't tell my girlfriend what to do

↳johnnybyers: what the fuck is going on

↳ itsbuckleybitch: HA i stole your girl

willthewise

Liked by mikeymikey, ElOhEl, madmaxx, dustybunhenderson and others.

willthewise: that was some good pasta.

View comments.

LucassSinclair: where tf are you guys?

↳ ElOhEl: idk like a parking lot somewhere? i could be wrong max drove us here

↳ b.hargrove: max did what?

↳ ElOhEl: she drove us here in your car

↳ madmaxx: whaaaaaaaaat

↳ b.hargrove: youve got some explaining to do when you get home maxine

stevie.h: is that my dog???

↳ y/ns.priv24: our** dog. but yeah is that ceasar?

↳ thefreakmunson: pfft you named your dog after a salad? that's stupid

↳ y/ns.priv24: no dumbass he's names after julius ceasar. like the famous roman general

↳ thefreakmunson: ...i knew that i was just kidding

y/ns.priv24

Liked by b.hargrove, stevie.h, itsbuckleybitch and others.

y/ns.priv24: uncle billy brought ceasar back. major slay

View comments.

b.hargrove: never call me uncle billy again

↳ stevie.h: hargrove shut up i could see the big cheesey grin on your face when you read "uncle billy"

↳ b.hargrove: dammit steve

itsbuckleybitch: i love how no one has commented some shit like 'cant tell whos cute billy or the dog' cause we all know the answer already

↳ b.hargrove: aw thanks rob

↳ itsbuckleybitch: no man i meant my pal ceasar

↳ b.hargrove: im leaving this friend group

johnnybyers

Liked by y/ns.priv24, willthewise, nanceewheeler and others.

johnnybyers: guys my mom just sent me this im so confused

View comments.

y/ns.priv24: shut up this is so cute

↳ johnnybyers: okay but why is she sending me this shit

↳ nanceewheeler: cause theyre in love and they wanna show it

↳ y/ns.priv24: maybe. that doesnt sound like mom or hopper though. i reckon mom knew you'd post this and she just wanted some clout

↳ johnnybyers: you're so right

itsbuckleybitch: john your mom is hot

↳ johnnybyers: not cool dude

↳ b.hargrove: i agree with buckley

↳ y/ns.priv24: you guys make me sick

[mcytblr-archive]

Early MCYTblr Interviews: kermiekermie

today's interviewee is @kermiekermie, who ran "Friend or Host", was a part of the "Block Men Simps" group chat, and has generally been an active member of MCYTblr for a long time! below is a transcript of the questions and answers.

Q: What was your general experience in MCYTblr? Does anything stand out to you immediately?

A: I think my general experience on mcytblr was pretty positive compared to some peoples. The one thing that really stands out is how young I was- i was 11 when i joined mcytblr in early-mid 2020. That didnt really change the way people treated me aside from the occasional teasing and babying, but I did make it a point to say I didn't want to be treated differently. Mcytblr was not my first time in a fandom space and I knew how to avoid creeps already so I never really had any truly negative experiences, honestly the only annoying things that happened were being banned from discords and blocked by people due to my age (which was completely understandable). The biggest memory I have of mcytblr is of course the Block Men Simps group chat, and the original members of the group chat are really the only tumblr mutuals I still keep up with (snail actually has my snapchat!) I still kind of view them as a sort of family, and they were there for me in what I consider an extremely low point of my life and really helped me take my mind off things. During quarantine, I didnt have any of my irls numbers or socials and my mom had just been diagnosed with breast cancer, so I quite literally NEVER left the house and tumblr was really the only social interaction I got for a solid year. And while that definitely impacted my social development (i still cant start a conversation with someone irl without feeling nauseous and shaky) i'm very grateful I had people to talk to throughout that.

Q: I understand that you were the one who set up "Friend or Host". What was the process of organizing a fandom event like that like?

A: Friend or host . god. Like I said, I was 11-12 throughout the majority of my time on mcytblr, and I had ZERO experience organizing anything and I had very little help from anyone else. I tried to make it work the best I could and got creative, but overall I don't think it was a very big success. Funnily enough, not everyone who participated in FOH knew my age and one of the winners actually blocked me afterwards they found out, which I still giggle about today.

Q: How did Friend or Host go?

A: I don't think FOH necessarily went bad, but if I had a little more help and better organization skills and planned it out further ahead of time, I think it would've gone better. It was still fun and I had a good time either way, but I can admit it was a little messy.

Q: What major events in the fandom do you remember? (Either from the MCYTers themselves or fandom-specific!)

A: Honestly, my memory of my time in the wider mcytblr community isnt all that great and I tend to get timelines a little messed up, but i DO remember being there for the creation of the original dreamceler copypasta. In the BMS group chat we were having our normal conversation and someone oncest got brought up at the same time as dream somehow, and thus Ginger wrote the extremely cursed dreamceler copypasta. This eventually evolved into an entire universe (the dreamceler cinematic universe?) with various different copypastas that eventually had to be archived because of how out of hand it got. Sometimes I still see the copypastas floating around and it kind of freaks me out every time. I also have a veryyyy vivid memory of the time I made the 2020 mcytblr election discord read OmegaNotFound on wattpad (do NOT research. for your own safety) and it was really amusing seeing everyones reactions.

Q: Do you remember any of the "kinnie" blogs?

A: oh MY the kinnie blogs!! i actually have dms with a couple of them plotting little jokes and such and I got involved with them quite often!! i actually ran a justaminx one for a couple days (yikes) and it wasnt really that believeable looking back. me and ginger as well as a couple other mooties loved spamming the ask boxes of them with piss jokes and such, and I feel like we played a pretty big role in how widespread and popular kinnie blogs became.

Q: What was the "Kroger Anon"?

A: oh my dearest kroger anon how I miss you…. I still dont know who the kroger anon actually WAS, but they would send rainbow colored advertising messages about Kroger to various mcytblr blogs at random intervals. Funny thing is, I dont live near any krogers and have never been to one in my life, but the anon messages kinda made me want to go. I miss kroger anon…. kroger anon if youre reading this come home please..

Q: What were common in-jokes in the fandom of that time? (Copypastas, headcanons, rumors, etc)

A: Common in-jokes is a hard one!! like i said earlier, my memory of my time in mcytblr isnt all that great or extensive and I could probably better answer this if I went through my archive but alas, I do not have the patience for that. Obviously we had the good ole tapeworm and pregnancy posts, dreamceler, and various other cursed copypastas and memes. One inside joke between the block men simps gc was "thinkign 👽" which came from a typo snail made that just kind of caught on and we would use every once in a while to giggle at. Other than that, I can't really think of any specific inside jokes.

Q: Is there anything else you remember or would like to talk about?

A: Something I really want to talk about is how much lurking I did!! on the outside I was definitely a normal parasocial mcytblr blog but I lurked on pretty much every corner of the fandom you could really think of. Obviously I have a ton of critblr and other controversial mutuals but I never really openly interacted with that side of mcytblr since it was pretty heavily debated and I am nothing if not conflict avoidant. I also did quite a bit of truthing that no one ever really mentioned which I guess I sort of appreciate. I think being in a fandom that involved actual real people ar that age for that long kind of screwed with me, and ive never really been able to be in a fandom for a piece of actual fiction because theyve just never gotten my interest in the same way, I guess. Even now, i was in grouptwt for quite a while (tgc podcast) and now im active on kpoptwt, which again, both of those fandoms are for actual real people. I dont think its the parasocial aspect either, ive never been super parasocial and have never had a problem criticizing the content creators I watch. Im really grateful for all the people I met on mcytblr, but I think the actual dream smp and the way I engaged with content overall negatively impacted how I interact with things now.

[problematicfanfics]

Kinktober ‘22 Oct 3. Teacher/Student (WIP)

TOMBUR, 17!Tom 26!Wil, power imbalance, high school, drug use

no NSFW (yet)

lots of jumping around since it’s unfinished, ignore all errors

* ⋆★

Tommy wouldn’t necessarily call himself a good kid.

He would do his homework. He attended all of his classes. He’s averaged an A so far the entire year. So yes, by textbook definition, Tommy was a good kid.

1 Snapchat Notification: Anthony 🤯

“Right before p5 meet C hall bthrm”

“Bring cart Nathan feening 💀”

But he knew the only reason he ever made it through the day was thanks to his passing period restroom stops.

Anyone attending a “Western” high school can explain to you the ins and outs of the passing period bathroom breaks all the teens line up for. Each group eagerly awaits for a friend who has the supply.

And if you’re painfully unaware of the dark market being run in every bathroom stall, Tommy loves to explain it as a “social thing”. He’s just generally a better person like this. It’s an easy conversation starter, a fast in, a way to curry favor with more well-known kids in his school.

And he’s realized his grades have never been better.

Ever since he started smoking weed in his tenth year, he’s found he’s a rather studious smoker. His grades improved dramatically. Math seemed to make sense and he wasn’t struggling with anxiety from his testing. Stiff seats are easy to sit still in when your body finally relaxes. Class notes now fit smoothly in his brain between his knowledge of minecraft and song lyrics. Nothing negative seemed to be coming of his habits, despite the fear he gets from running in this little underground market. Passing a teacher in the halls can be a normal life versus permanent felony situation if they so much as ask to search his bag.

“…that fucking bitch doesn’t know her left from her right. Mate, I swear to God, she asked my chemistry teacher which one is which.”

Tommy chokes on the nicotine he’s hitting, lungs collapse into laughter. Promptly he erupts into a fit of coughing

“Yo, dude, get that checked out…” One of his friends in the stall next door said. “Ha, as if. Imagine being like… ‘Hey mum, my nicotine addiction might be affecting my health, mind if we take a look at it down at the ol’ doctor’s office?’”

The stalls laugh at the absurdity of ever revealing this secret to their parents.

Who cares if he’s started coughing from the metal shards when he laughs?

The day he truly understands he’s a functioning addict is when he makes his fifth stop in the C hall restrooms, waiting for his friend Jay while squatting on the toilet, as his other friend pretends to be doing “normal stall things” (as he puts it).

He knows the risks every time, six boys crammed into a stall to trade flavors and discuss about the girls they want and the bitches they hate, the snake “friends” who rat out others and the teachers they despise. He’s always ready to jump to shut everyone up when a teacher walks in. Sometimes, however, his guard falls.

Fifth period Tommy attends a US History class, something he had wanted to take since he saw it was an available course. His love for the subject, plus his new found study buddy, made the class a perfect choice in his mind.

Tommy didn’t mind attending the class. It had taken him upwards of three weeks to learn the teacher’s name (Mr. Gold, but the class called him Soot), and who he was (he was hired by the school three years ago and has been a teacher ever since), and his love life (he has a girlfriend, but all his classes found a picture of her on his instagram and they think he can do better).

He didn’t, however, have a hard time committing Soot’s appearance to memory.

His curly hair fell perfectly every day without a fail. The tight button up shirts he wore required him to roll up his sleeves if he ever wanted any relief from the room’s broken AC. It’s hard for Tommy to not follow his hands switching between the board and the lesson plan on his desk.

He’d be lying if he didn’t say he thinks that Mr. Gold was finer than the heavens. It seemed to be a popular debate in this girl’s restroom, too; was Mr. Gold hot or was it just the power dynamic?

As Tommy sits with his legs up between the railing and the wall, inhaling his cart like it was his life force in preparation for his fifth period class, he turns his phone for his friends to see. “You can’t tell me he isn’t hot!” He says as he gives the phone over to an equally contorted friend of his. “Gold? Tommy, you’re crazy. He isn’t that hot.”

“Listen I’m not gay but I’d be a victim. I’m just saying.” Tommy takes the phone back as he preheats the battery. One of his friends nods in agreement.

As the debate continues over the attractiveness levels of Wilbur's instagram posts, Tommy pulls up an old high school yearbook photo of the man. “You can’t say you wouldn’t want William Gold to fuck you, I honestly think I give this man fuck me eyes in class accidentally.” Tommy practically yells to prove his point to Aj.

Suddenly, a loud presence enters the bathroom.

“Ok, I know there’s more than one of you in there. Everybody out.”

The boys look around nervously to one another as Tommy holds back laughter. That is definitely Soot.

There is a tense pause. No one wants to respond out of fear of punishment (and slightly because he had to have overheard the conversation they were just having). “Guys, I’m not playing games here. Let’s go. We can take this to the head if we need.”

Quickly the boys hop down from their acrobatic positions and grab their backpacks.

“One, two, three of you!” Mr. Gold sighs at the sight. “Wow, no! There’s more! Five? SIX? There were six of you in there? My God it’s like a fucking clown car.”

The boys shift nervously under his look. “Listen, I don’t care. It’s just protocol. You’re lucky I’m not taking you down to the counselor, it smells like weed in here.” Everyone exchanges quick looks as they continue to try to hide the obvious vapes inside their hoodie sleeves.

“So you just… don’t care?” Tommy pipes up. His friends shoot him scathing looks, as if telling him to not push their luck and get out while they can.

Wilbur seems taken aback by the question. “Well, it’s not that I don’t care, it’s just… Listen, don’t say I’m letting you guys smoke in the stalls. I’m not. I just think you’re smart enough to not be dumb with it again.”

“But if you were truly concerned for our safety wouldn’t you confiscate our shit?”

“Listen, this is great energy Tommy, how about you keep it up in class and stop giving me fuck me eyes the entire period. I get you’re high but try a little harder.”

The entire bathroom goes silent before erupting into laughter. People with no business in the situation Tommy can hear snicker in the background.

“I’ll make sure to have you work for your money today.” Tommy says before Gold shrugs him off to prepare for his incoming class.

“I am so sorry you have to attend his class now.” Tommy’s buddy Nathan pats him on the back. “The sexual tension during lessons boutta go crazy” Aj jokes as he motions Tommy to head to class with him.

“I think I’m gonna be sick.” Tommy says as he sits in front of the classroom door with his head in his hands. “How do I look him in the eyes? I’ll just skip class by going to the nurse.”

Aj jumps in front of him before he can leave. “We’re already five minutes late. Please let’s just go in. The longer you wait the worse it gets and you know that.” Tommy reevaluated his choices before finally agreeing that Aj was, in fact, right, and that they should attend class.

“Tom Simons, nice of you to join us.” Soot singles him out in the middle of his lesson. Tommy’s equally guilty friend slips into the back of the classroom undetected. “Please, take a seat.” The sarcasm drips from his lips.

Tommy sits in his usual seat far in the back next to Aj. The work was boring mundane class stuff. They used their laptops to research the battles fought during the American Independence War and Tommy finished within the first three minutes.

Tommy raises his hand to gloat to his teacher, ready for the victory as he tells Soot his work is “too easy” and to “give him a challenge.”

“I’m done, easy shit.” Tommy says when Soot finally strolls his way over to the seat. He wasn’t prepared for Wilbur to lean over behind him to read, or the way he said “Good job, Tommy” as he got up (he can’t help but imagine him whispering “good boy” into his ear).

His eyes shoot up to meet Wilbur’s. Every quick retort he had loaded to fire falters. He feels like he needs to say something.

“Can I go to the bathroom?”

“Weren’t you just in there?” Soot makes a sarcastic sad face to mock Tommy’s surprised expression. “I remembered hearing a conversation about being a victim, if I’m not mistaken?”

Aj laughs as Tommy goes pale and forcefully chuckles. “Hey, haha, listen man, I-”

“Ok everyone, please discuss with the person next to you the notes you should have completed by now.” He redirects his attention back to the class, the low tone now projecting off the walls indicating he was referring to everyone.

Tommy turns to face his friend on his left. His shit eating grin left Tommy regretting his entire day.

“Can you send me the answers? I was too busy watching the in house entertainment”

About a week had passed since Tommy was caught, and he was being as careful as possible. Last thing he needed was another run in.

His fourth period lunch left quite a lot to be desired; in the mornings he was never hungry. Instead he fills himself with flavored air, weed, and a severely diluted once-iced coffee.

The lunch period only housed one friend every day, but on alternating days up to seven people would sit with them for lunch. Either way he was too high to notice anything happening around him. No difference was it to him if there was one or eight people, as long as he was being supplied the bodies didn’t matter.

These alternating days with a lot of people leads to everyone slowly making their way to the bathrooms after eating, using it as a pit stop and waiting out the remainder of their time.

Tommy had been waiting since 10:15, and the period ends at 10:30. He was finally getting his new cart today. For the last week he was either smoking scraps from all his empty carts at home or his friends’ at school. His “friend”/dealer had told him to wait in here but it was becoming ridiculous.

1 Snapchat Notification: Rizz 🤝

Rizz: “Soot’s on my ass but omw”

Tommy: “dude don’t come in here if Gold is gonna catch us.”

“he already doesn’t like me 💀”

Rizz: “Skill issue he doesn’t think i’m shady.”

“Or at least didnt before this.”

“Honestly Tommy i’d rather save my own ass and give u the shit before he catches me with 16 carts 💀 i’m dealing today i’m way overdue”

Tommy nervously taps his foot in the bathroom stall. He toys with the $50 in his pocket, rolling it up and flattening it. Honestly, he hates the way Rizz deals. His constant lateness, the sloppiness, as if he doesn’t care that this is something serious. This can be a crime if found out by the wrong person, and everyone will be in legal trouble. But to people like Rizz the real world doesn’t exist. The only reason Tommy continues to buy from him is because he gets a $15 discount (Tommy and Rizz’s cousin used to have a thing).

As he fumbles with the airbar in his hand he hears his “friend” walk in. “Open the stall door,” He knocks and Tommy unlocks it. “Here you fucking go.” He drops the cart in Tommy’s hand before opening his palm for the payment.

As he reaches for his pocket, the front bathroom door opens and the boys are sent jumping.

“What’re we doing here?” Gold asks the duo with his arms crossed. The door slams shut behind him.

“I’m paying him back for a meal he bought me last week,” Tommy explains as he gives the money to Rizz. “It was expensive.”

“I can tell. That’s a pretty big wad of cash. How much?”

“$50”

“And how much is a cart?”

“$65, so you can stop being weird about it now.”

“Ok, and so the constant going in and out of the bathrooms, Rizzario… is that just for fun or?”

He puts the money in his pocket. “It’s a pastime of mine. You should see the architecture up in here, truly stunning.”

“Yeah, I’m sure you get a kick out of it. Get to class.”

Tommy’s unfortunate second capture does not deter him from immediately smoking the cart with his friends minutes later in the same stall. He has been waiting for a week and he’ll be damned if he has to wait any longer. The lack of food in his system, along with his slightly reduced tolerance, makes walking to fifth period a little harder than usual.

Immediately upon sitting down it is revealed to Tommy by a kid sitting two seats ahead of him that there’s a test they are taking today and that he’s the only one who could “possibly forget about as big a test as this one.”, and he realizes he’s screwed up when even Aj is caught cramming at the last minute.

“Tommy, are you aware you failed my last test?”

“Yes Mr. Soot, I’m well aware. That’s actually why I wanted to talk to you today. I think I’m a pretty good kid. I do my work, I participate in class, and up until this point I have passed every test with flying colors. Please understand that I do try in this class and I’m not afraid to do extra work to get my grade back up. I’m not asking you to just change my score, I’m really wondering if there’s anything I can do to work for my grade.”

Soot turns to face Tommy, taking off his glasses and laughing. “A good kid? I’d hardly call you a good student.”

“What? Are you crazy? I actually do your work. I do more work than anyone else in any of your classes. I’ve never missed homework, or class work, or done poorly on a test before this. I always answer questions in class and respond when you try to have open discussions in class.”

“And yet, despite all that, you’re not a good student.”

“You’re mental!” Tommy exclaims. “Listen, if you don’t want to tell me where I can get extra credit in my grade, or if you just don’t want me to, then say it! I don’t want nonsense.”

Soot stands from his desk to address Tommy. The silence in the air hangs tight as the man evaluates his words. “You know you’re lying to yourself when you say you’re a good kid.” He finally says. “You know you come into class high every day, with barely any awareness. You babble off in group discussions for minutes on end, related to and not related to the topic. Your homework is subpar at best.”

“At least it’s done, man.”

“We’re not friends, Tommy.”

“Yeah, no shit, I know that. That’s why I came to you in person after class.”

“Mrs. Mark told me you resolve all your issues over email.”

Tommy’s mouth gets dry. Why’s he talking to Mrs. Mark about him? She never liked him much or his tryhard attitude in her stupid Advanced English Language class.

“Did she say I’m a bad kid? I swear she hates me. She’s always picking on me in class.”

“It’s honestly funny Tommy, because if you tried at all you could be such an exceptional student.” His demeanor shifts. Tommy can’t put his finger, but it seems like Gold has something he’s hiding. His mind instantly jumps to things Mrs. Mark could’ve told him. “Everyone keeps telling me that. Clearly it isn’t true if this is me trying.”

The tired teacher throws his hands in the air. “Once again! The lying! You’re so blind to it.” He walks back to his desk from the board for a final time. Throughout his speech he traces the wooden grain on his desk, eyes not leaving the boy’s. “Tommy, listen. You’re such a bright student. You’re wasting yourself with this crap. I know everyone knows you, I understand that you’ve gained quite a highly positive popularity status in this school when it comes to the social hierarchy. But if you just tried you’d see how much more you can do with yourself.”

“Forget it, Soot. I’ll just do better on the next one.”

“Maybe we’ll resolve this over email.” Gold writes out his number on a late pass before handing it to Tommy. “However, I am much more likely to respond over text.”

“No shot.” Kim says as she hands the money to the shopkeeper. “Strawberry Kiwi elf please, love.”

Tommy fumbles, laughing as he pulls out his phone “I swear! Look, it’s saved right here.” He shows her Gold’s contact on his phone, the only texts sent being a “hello” from each of them.

“Then let’s call him.”

“What?”

“If it’s really him, let’s call him. We’ll grab a coffee and walk down to the tracks and call him.” She grabs the box from the cashier. “Thanks, and can we also have…?”

“Cherry Cola Diamond please.” Tommy points to the wall. He reaches over the counter to grab it from the guy. “We can’t just call him. I feel so nervous. What if he’s actually just trying to get me in serious trouble? I mean, look at us.” He points around to the smoke shop they’re in. “This isn’t ok.”

Kim starts walking to the bin down the hall as she unboxes her new toy. “Listen babygirl. Everyone in the school wants that man. You should hear how people talk about him.” She ghosts the nic before dropping it in her cross body bag and strutting out the door, leaving Tommy to catch up. “Bag him, bitch.”

After much debate and argument, finally, at one pm on a saturday, after smoking a joint and walking on the train tracks, Tommy’s finger hovers over the call button.

“Kim, I can’t do it.”

“For christ’s sake,” She hits the button with his finger and puts it on speaker before shooting him an encouraging thumbs up.

As the line rings, Tommy seriously considers laying down on the tracks until the 1:30 pm train hits him.

Finally the line picks up.

The microphone shuffles up against some fabric before becoming clear. Soot’s groggy morning voice seems to burn through his ears.

“Hey, Tommy. Sorry I was sleeping. What’s up?”

He opens his eyes wide and shakes his head no to Kim, who just continues to nod her very adamant yes.

“What am I supposed to say?” He whispers to her.

“Hello?” Soot calls out confused.

“Ask him if he’s free to chat after school tuesday.” She says obviously as she rolls her eyes. Tommy just gives her an almost disgusted look back. “I can’t just… oh my god.” He redirects his voice to the phone. “Sorry, didn’t mean to wake you up.” Was all he could manage.

Gold chuckles slightly. “Don’t worry. I needed to wake up anyway to grade all the homeworks.”

“You’re seriously gonna be grading homeworks?”

“No. You caught me.” They both lightly laughed before realizing they seriously don’t know what to say. “Uhm, what are you doing?” Gold finally asks.

“I’m hanging with my friend Kim, we’re under an overpass by the train tracks.”

“You’ll have to show me one day.”

“It’s right across from the school, maybe I’ll show it to you one day during your break.”

Kim squeals through her hands and kicks her legs like a middle school girl watching her friend call their crush.

“Yeah sure, I’d like that… Listen I should probably get my day started so I’ll-”

“Oh yeah no now of course, I understand. I’ll see you on Monday.”

“Hope not, we don’t have school.”

“Ahaha, right. Forgot. Sorry, bye Soot.”

“Have fun Tommy,” Soot squeezes in before ending the call.

Tommy looks at Kim with a hatred in his eyes. “That was terrible.”

“…and then she made me call him!” Tommy explains his weekend to the morning bathroom bunch.

“You know Kim loves the drama. I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s telling everyone right now!”

“Forreal man, why’d you even tell her that shit?” Kim’s ex boyfriend speaks up. “Trust me, she’s a conniving little shit.”

“I’m like best friends with her twin sister Janie ok? The friendship extends to her. Also she asked me to get nic with her. I couldn't say no, she always pays for me. Everyone thank Kim for the free nic.”

“Thanks Kim”s were mumbled throughout the stall.

Aj shoved Tommy hard enough he falls off the wall. “What did you even say? You can’t end there.”

“I was a nervous wreck! He like woke up to pick up the call and his voice was so fucking hot guys. It caught me so off guard to hear it was like one pm, I don’t know why he was sleeping…”

Tommy spent the remainder of their ten minute morning smoke sesh to fill them in on everything that went down, as well as field questions from his friends.

He wouldn’t lie, he loved it.

Just like with weed, it seemed as though good things only came with getting involved with Gold.

He was putting in good words with all his teachers (including Mrs. Mark!), he was the shit in all of his classes, and everyone wanted to know what was going to happen next.

Gold, as well as the rest of the staff of course, were painfully unaware of the rampant “teacher and student” buzz circling around the smoke circles.

Since Tommy’s last little stint with Gold it’s been one week and three days. Nothing has changed, except for having the favor of every teacher he has a class in. He’s too nervous to take the first step into a possible slippery slope of relations with his teacher (as any normal person would be. But sadly, Tommy is not a normal person, not by a long shot, and he knows this as fact as he lays in bed wondering what it would be like to have Gold 6 inches deep in him)

It’s hard to go to school when everyone thinks you’re fucking the teacher. It was supposed to be a joke, the whole thing; Tommy always chooses one joke a year to be his running gag. He had chosen the gay joke “crush on my teacher” route because of how ludicrous the idea of him and a male teacher ever getting together was to him. It was a joke he often made about the old, prehistoric male teachers he had in ninth year, as well as some of the older women too, though most were married and he always thought it felt wrong to talk like that about them.

The weekend rolled around once more and Tommy spent his time out late at friend’s houses, and finally out until two am on Sunday night. He had begged his parents for hours and when they said yes he didn’t care about the consequences of his decisions.

Finally, reality caught up to Tommy, and for the first time since he first started drinking in eighth grade he wakes up with a hangover. Classes seem damn near impossible to stay awake for. He deems his sunglasses aren’t providing enough darkness and accessorizes with a hat from the lost and found bin, in hopes that now the fifth period fluorescent light combined with seeing Soot’s arms won’t make him vomit all over himself.

He strolls into class three minutes late due to having been kneeled over the side of the toilet in the single stall gender neutral bathrooms just minutes earlier. Apparently it’s clear to everyone in the class he’s a hot mess, because all he can hear is everyone asking him if he’s doing alright. He dismissed each one with a “Yeah, no, just tired. You know how school is.”

Before he knew it he was face down on his keyboard.

Tommy was awakened thirty minutes later to the sound of a bang next to him. Mr. Gold had lifted the entire desk combo before dropping it on the ground. “See me after class, Tommy.”

He could probably feel the smirk from Aj’s face even if he was on the other side of the world.

“Really? Falling asleep in class? That’s a new low, even for you.” Gold reprimands him. Tommy stayed. Yes, even he is surprised by it. Usually he’s the first one out the door if a teacher has an issue with him. But something in him almost wanted to hear what he had to say. He was excited for the man to tell him everything he did wrong, how to improve, what to do.

“I’m sorry Mr. Gold. It won’t happen again, I swear.”

They both looked at each other for a minute. “What is your sixth period class?”

“Gym. Such a bore, I hate my teacher so much. She’s so pregnant she can’t even stand near us because she’s scared someone’s gonna hit her.” The two laugh at the situation. “I mean, I can’t help but wonder why she doesn’t just go on maternity leave. Almost all the female gym teachers are pregnant this year.”

“Hey, they got a lot of free time over the summer. What else are they supposed to do?”

“They don’t have to keep fucking like rabbits!” He jokes and they laugh.

Silence once again falls over the room. It’s like something stops them from ever holding a conversation beyond some jokes. They’re too scared to laugh for too long, too scared of being too close, and Tommy’s way too nervous to actually make the first move. Everything relied on Soot.

“Call me Wilbur.”

“What?”

“You can call me Wilbur. William isn’t my first name. Well, it is, but I go by Wilbur.”

“Real quick let me just,” Tommy pulls out his phone from his back pocket and changes Wilbur’s contact name. “I like it. And here, we’ll take a selfie for the photo.”

Tommy turned around and extended his arm to get the two of them in the picture, snapping it before saving all changes. “I think this was a productive chat, Wilbur.”

“Don’t call me that in class or we’ll have issues,” He jokes around (but Tommy feels the difference in the weight of those words). Tommy mocks him before grabbing his bag and heading for the door. “Before you go,” Wilbur stops him just inches shy of the door. “Want to show me that underpass?”

Wilbur called Tommy’s gym teacher, making her aware that the boy was “making up a failed test” and would not be able to attend the period. The two sent off on their walk, Wilbur with his messenger bag and Tommy with some snacks he had in his locker.

Their destination wasn’t far away by any means, but the walk felt like forever as they desperately grasped at straws in order to make small talk.

“So you got a girlfriend?” Wilbur looks at the boy before pulling out his phone. “This is her,” he says, showing a photo of a skinny blonde woman, eyes green, teeth white. “Her name’s-”

“Jenine?”

“Please stop stalking my socials.” Wilbur jokes as he puts the phone away. “But yeah, Jenine. We actually- well, she, actually - decided we should go on a break about four days ago. Took all her shit out of the flat.”

Tommy was taken aback by the demise of their relationship. They seemed really happy from all the posts he saw. “Oh. I’m sorry to hear, man.”

The brunet smiled genuinely. “Nah, don’t worry. Just got more space to put all my useless shit in”

“Like what?”

“I dunno, figured I’d put up shelves to fill the big empty spaces and pile it with games or books or whatever a normal person puts on their shelves.”

“Well what does a non normal person put on their shelves?”

“Youtooz. Way too many to be healthy.”

“I won’t lie, I have a collection too.”

jump #1

Tommy sits on the freezing bathroom stall tile. It looks clean enough to sit on, and he hopes the wet feeling on the back of his leg is actually just his imagination. His bag is over in the corner and his jumper is blocking the awkward vent between the door and the floor that someone might be able to see him through.

The smell of marijuanna that has permeated into the walls of the gender neutral bathroom made his head spin. Tommy couldn’t help but feel slightly bad. What was supposed to be a bathroom for people became a smoke spot. However, it doesn’t stop him from pulling out the crack wire from his bag and hooking it up to his school computer.

He turns the cool glass over in his hands and traces the black mouthpiece. It was almost empty and he didn’t have another 50 to drop. As he places the wires in their appropriate spots he pulls out his phone.

The glass heats up and he takes a hit as he types out a message to his dear friend.

Wilbur (US HISTORY)

can i have a fifty

He knows he won’t respond. It was a dumb thought to even ask him, he fucked up the second he sent the text. Wilbur isn’t dumb. He’ll know it’s for a cart. There’s no way in hell he’d go as far as supplying the boy with drugs.

Wilbur (US HISTORY)

can i have a fifty

I’ll give it to you

after class, ok?

Tommy waits behind after class. Aj’s confused look as he walks out the door is all it takes for his stomach to get queasy again.

jump #2

“Tommy, do you know why I never wear these?”

Tommy, confused, replies no.

“I hate them. I like to think that if I just pretend I don’t need them my eyes will be able to see just fine again. Like a common cold, my eyes will just get over it. But that’s not true, obviously, as we know. You’re not a good student Tommy. You have some serious underlying issues that you’re just self medicating with weed and nicotine and adrenaline rushes. You try to trick yourself into thinking you’re a good student just like I try to trick myself into thinking I don’t need these.” He picks up the glasses before setting them back down. “I don’t know if you’re really all that ‘good’ of a student.”

“I do everything you ask!” Tommy yells. “I have literally done everything you’ve asked. Do you understand how stressful school was for me? Do you understand I had nearly no future in school before this? I was skipping my classes constantly to game and play with my friends. I couldn’t sit still or focus in class ever. Information never made sense. I have found what works for me. One day I’ll be old enough to learn I don’t need it to function. I’ll have options and resources available to get help. I don’t right now though. I have to work with what I have. Something isn’t right up there and weed fixes it. Sorry if you don’t like it but that’s how it is.”

“Tommy, you act like I dont smoke weed myself! I know what it’s like!”

Tommy falls silent. He furrows his brow and contorts his face. “You smoke?”

“Why do you think I gave you that fifty? Why do you think I never actually bust anyone? Tommy, I get it. I did the exact same thing. I still do. The only way I can ever grade all of your shitty homeworks is if I’m high. And I know what it’s like when there isn’t any other option because I didn’t have any. I want to find you what you need.”

“Probably a psych evaluation.” Tommy laughs to himself. “I’m serious, Tommy.”

“Wilbur, I truly appreciate the concern. But “teacher helping me find myself” wasn’t exactly in my life plan. It’s all laid out perfectly, I just have to make it to 18.”

Wilbur stares in disbelief. “Living every day just to make it to eighteen isn’t any way to live. Barely making it through your weekdays just to party on the weekends isn’t healthy.”

“No shit sherlock.”

“I think I will get you a psych evaluation if you keep talking back”

“Alright, fine.”

[dykefoolish]

i’m glad people are finally saying something because it’s made me so uncomfortable how funny so many people seemed to find jokes about grooming and how gleeful so many people were to find out that dream was a bad person. i never cared for dream but i don’t understand how any one could see the situation as anything other than tragic, let alone be happy that young girls and women were groomed just because the person who did it was someone they already disliked. there were so many people i unfollowed when the news first broke because i found their reaction so disgusting and even more since for joking about it.

when the situation first started i wasn't home, and i remember i came online briefly for a second and saw everyone talking about it and immediately my friend messaged me and told me to log off for a little while and explained to me what was happening. i was absolutely devastated, and for awhile i was considering completely leaving tumblr because i was a dt main and my blog was very centric about them (ultimately decided not to and just tried to delete the majority of my posts about them). i pretty much blocked over half my long term mutuals ive had for years, ive blocked someone i considered a friend. seeing so many people make light about the situation and then saying stuff about how "drm fans are finally free" and/or joking about dream grooming someone fucked me up, and made me start thinking of my own bad memories regarding myself being groomed. and it doesn't help that recently people have been very bold with these types of jokes

people need to remember that this is a very serious topic, and while some types of jokes and humor about it is okay (ie basic jokes about snapchat or whatever), it gets to the point that when you start making certain types of jokes you are crossing a line and you just look like a fucking inconsiderate douchebag.