#i found him because he was in deh ofc

[shaniacsboogara]

Tonight we're crying over Andrew Barth Feldman's debut album folks

[notworking-com]

guys. 😭😭😭🤕🤕🤕 this is satire (jakjsjsj)

okay so i was sitting outside the class right and i didn’t know where am i going to be for the competition so i just waited because my partner hadn’t arrived and then inwas oj twt because i’m a loser (this rule doesn’t apply to my friends and moots who also use twt btw only me) and then suddenly someone called my name and it’s him and he was like “masuk aj” and so ofc i asked “oh yg lain blm dtg ya?” and then so i got into that mp 2 AND his bag was already there and i put mine a table away from his and then yeah!!!!!!!! i just slump therr lmao

and then his friend from geo came and i know my friend who is also in geo had arrived so i asked wheher that senior was still there and if i could visit her, and he said “yes he is” so i was like “😭okay nvm then” and he offered to call her but then IT WASNT EVEN IMPORTANT I JUST WANTED TO SEE HER so i said no thanks :) and walked out of the class with my bag still inside right.

anyways, chem tag guy (the guy i like) offered the class to be put together when like five of us were in another classroom used bythese two and I KNOW it’s because he’s competitive and such and want to compare how other people are doing (super glad we didn’t do this because MY GOD me and my chem partner just end up ij shambles and talk random things once in a while there 😭)

and then after i found out my partner is late i said goodbye and saw myselfvout because she i’m going to have to search a class for us and after a few moments i decided to take my bag from mp 2 first right and he was there fixing things (also his laptop fell 😭 and it was mac oh my god)

and then while i was heading to the door he said something along the lines of “dine kayaknya nanti lu ga bisa keluar masuk lg deh soalnya gw mau ituin kamera nya arah ke sana” and at first i was a bit confused because okay? i’m going to be outside anyway but then i was like oh! he still thought i’m going to do it here! not a chance!!!

so i just answered “oh enggak kan gw mau cari kelas di sana” something like that and then he just went “oh yaudah” adaiissisisiskakaoaiaiaiaisisisksksiditk

okay stop.

break.

after the round, EVERYONE suddenly came to the class we used and i was like fuck?? i thought it was just going to be her 😭 but yeah. and then after a while i said to my friend/chem partner about how i haven’t followed anyone here except her and asked her if she could help me found the people (AS IF I DONT ALR KNOW LMAO I KNOW ALL OF THEIR USERNAME😭) and they were ALL there you know doing something something so i feel afer and more at peace because then my follow just won’t be out of the blue & suspicious (i overthink shush)

AND THEN. the whole time i was just like “sp lg???” and then she eventually mentioned him and i asked her “what’s his ig?” (as if i don’t alr know) and she asked him and he came over and said ithe two word backwards but even if i knew i didn’t want him to know that i knew so i just type it and jaksks. and then he stood there until we finished going over the rest lmaoo

and you know the second person who eventually requested to follow me back out oof all of them ksksksksksksjsnsjsj i hate this actually im insane

and yeah.

and then we were all at the front, he was telling us about the list of absence and that we had to sign another one and idk if i did it on purpose just instictively or that i’m actually a bit deaf but i ended up being like what what until i was next to him. looking back at it it’s like ehhhhhhhh but he probably won’t notice. he’s just delusional if he did though idc

EDIT WAIT.

unfortunately this situation has made me a sildent active user on instagram and…………. so i was searching his sec acc and apparently it was. okay so let’s say his main is “mlpeetaa” right. and i said that he mentioned his ig to me backwards. so “peetaml” but APPARENTLY that’s his sec??????? 😭 i searched all the accs on my friend’s ig following so all that showed up was his main and i KNOW it was probably just an accident mix up BUT WHAT IF JWHATBIF (no i mean no one from the club literaly followed him except like two i think??? (and it doesn’t include a and n and b for some reason??)) So yeah probably just a mix up. BUT WHAT IF i had searched it up not on my friend’s following but on the normal search bar (bc for some reason she didn’t follow his sec). what if both of them showed up and what if when i asked him which one he aaid just follow both????????????????? WHAT IF.

and then also. PFT. his sec’s format was “_peetaml” 😭 MY first’s format is “katnisssevdn_” LMAO. i was going to change that underscore but nvm. i’m going insane. i wish i remembered his sec’s name when i first searched it up a day or two ago then maybe we can analyze further. (hi pls suddenly follow me from your sec btw!!!! i don’t bite, i’m not even on ig most of the time plss) -> never gonna happen ewwwww all this over a man babe?? insane

OH NO I GUESS I REALLY DO LIKE HIM OH NOOO

[antaradimensi]

May 16th 2007

May 16th is supposed to be the saddest day for my family. 5 days after my birthday.

14 tahun yang lalu papa terkena serangan stroke, Somehow I’m glad he survived and not died that time even after that he must struggling with his inability to talk or walk normally. Dari tanggal itulah kehidupan keluargaku berubah, sangat.

Setiap tahun, aku gak pernah bisa bener-bener merasa bahagia di hari ulang tahunku karena terus kepikiran kondisi papa yang gak bisa kembali normal. Papa menjalani kondisinya dengan ikhlas tapi aku tau dia pingin banget bisa melakukan banyak hal seperti dulu, seperti harapan anggota keluarga yang lain karena komunikasi sama papa cuma bisa sebatas nebak-nebak apa yang mau dia omongin dari 1-3 kata yang bisa diucapin.

14 tahun lalu aku cuma seorang bocah normal berusia 11 tahun, mau lulus SD dengan banyak “privilege” dari sisi ekonomi dan afeksi. Sekolah di sekolah swasta islam, langganan majalah anak-anak, tiap minggu jalan-jalan dan bebas mau beli apa aja, ke Gramedia, Disc Tarra, Boneka, sampai les Piano. Bahkan waktu banjir besar di awal tahun 2007 aja masih bisa menginap di hotel sampai banjirnya surut.

Papa dulu pernah cerita kalau kakek dulu seorang tentara yang meninggal di saat papa berusia 10 tahun and somehow I’m afraid it will happen to me. My dad will died and my school radio will announce his death. Sebagai anak perempuan aku lebih deket sama papa daripada mama.

Hari Rabu 16 Mei siang hari, baru pulang sekolah dan l just celebrated my birthday at my friend’s restaurant with a lot of my friends (1 angkatan diundang semua deh kayaknya) from school 5 days before. Lagi dengerin lagunya Sherina – Better Than Love di Walkman (album barunya yang baru dibeliin papa di Disc Tarra; Primadona) terus mama dapet telepon dari temen kantor papa katanya papa jatuh setelah makan siang bareng temen-temen kantornya, makanan favoritnya; sop buntut.

My dad used to drove his own car to his office, took 1 hour from home. Gak kecelakaan saat menyetir, tapi jatuh saat mau naik ke mobil. Panic? Ofc my mom did, while I’ve been questioning what’s going on, my dad got sick and we need to go to the hospital quick. I don’t know where is my lil brother that time, tapi aku jadinya berdua aja sama mama naik taksi ke rumah sakit, sempet nyasar juga ke RS Gading Pluit padahal dirawatnya di RS Mitra Keluarga, Kelapa Gading.

Everything went fast that time, tiap ada kesempatan libur pasti ke rumah sakit jengukin papa, aku tunggu papa yang lagi MRI sambil dzikir di lorong rumah sakit (beberapa memori udah gak bisa diinget lagi sekarang) dan mama yang sedang diuji keimanannya.

Papa kurang lebih dirawat sebulan sampai kembali sadar, dari awalnya di ICU (cuma bisa dapet asupan nutrisi dari infus dan susu yang dikasih dari selang yang dipasang dari hidungnya) akhirnya sudah bisa dipindah ke ruang perawatan biasa. Mama yang nunggu papa di rumah sakit selama 1 bulan itu, aku sama adik dijaga sama saudara karena masih harus sekolah. Aku masih mikir ya itu sakit biasa kayak tifus atau serangan jantung yang udah bisa ditangani, papa ya bakal balik lagi kayak papa seperti biasa. Tapi enggak, sampai hari kematiannya bulan Oktober tahun lalu, papa bener-bener gak bisa normal lagi.

I wish I had a deep talk with my dad about life and get to know him better, aku pingin tau segala pemikirannya tentang hidup, pingin denger kata-kata nasihatnya kalau aku nikah nanti, pingin banget dia yang nikahin aku nanti sama laki-laki pilihanku. But this will be a privilege I will never have, and okay stop wishing for things I can’t never have but be grateful that my dad is still alive.

Setiap hari rasanya tersiksa liat papa yang dulu jadi tulang punggung, punya rutinitas sehari-hari di kantor, ketemu banyak orang jadi sendirian dan berdiam di kamar, nonton TV, sesekali aja ke luar rumah. Dan itu semua baru tentang kondisi papa, belum anggota keluarga yang lain.

Setiap tahun setelah itu punya ujiannya sendiri, di awal-awal tahun setiap anggota keluarga harus menyesuaikan kondisi, papa terapi hampir tiap hari sampai dia bisa bersuara, mengucapkan sesuatu, dan minimal bisa lepas dari kursi roda.

Tahun-tahun lainnya muncul tantangan baru, utamanya pada kondisi ekonomi. 2 tahun setelah sakit dan gak bisa bekerja papa dipensiunkan dini, it must be hard for him the most. Akhirnya harus stop terapi dan belajar lagi menerima keadaan, tapi bukan berarti tahun-tahun setelahnya gak ada kebahagiaan, selalu ada yang bisa disyukuri termasuk bersyukur sampai saat ini meski mama gak bekerja dari awal papa sakit sampai sekarang, keluarga gak pernah (amit-amit) terlilit hutang, masih punya bangunan untuk ditinggali.

Papa selalu ada pada proses pertumbuhan anak-anaknya, meski tidak sempurna, melihat, mendampingi, mengasihi, and I hope it gave him happiness he deserved.

That’s why I’m so happy about my 25th birthday this year because I’m no longer counting… “udah berapa tahun ya papa terbatas begini?” He is free, He deserves more happiness in the afterlife.

My mom and my dad’s love is unbeatable, I wish I’ll have a partner and kind of love they have.

Never tell this story with anyone, not even my best friend, but I decided to post this story in my Tumblr acc, (publicly for now) because I want to keep recalling memories about my dad before it was gone and converting my memories to my writings.

This account is my pensieve.

Di twitter kemarin lagi ramai soal gunanya berdoa untuk suatu hal, dan mempertanyakan tentang cara keajaiban bekerja, akhirnya beberapa orang memilih bercerita tentang keajaiban yang terjadi di hidupnya daripada menjawab pertanyaan yang jawabannya di luar kapasitas manusia itu. Trigger untuk aku bercerita soal ini juga, tapi jelas yang kayak gini gak bisa kuceritakan di twitter with a bunch of terrible strangers 🙃

...and this is one of my miracles. I used to keep this story as my main secret, now I’m brave enough to share and found some words to tell, and everything started here.

[insanelycooljk]

j comes out 👀

send me the title of one of my deh wips and I’ll share an excerpt/tell you a bit about it 

This was just intended to be a short one-shot that I may or may not finish, but here’s the current summary:

Jared is finally ready to come out to his parents and tell them about the boy he’s dating. He just didn’t expect coming out to be the easy part.

it’s kleinsen ofc because uhh it’s me lol

So, Jared and Evan have been dating for a few months now and Jared is just... so happy and he wants to tell people damn it! He just loves this boy so much!

Also Heidi knows that they’re dating, so it’s just been making things really awkward whenever both of their families catch up.

Evan would never pressure Jared to come out before he’s ready, but Jared kind of gets the impression that Evan is a little insecure about it? Like, he gets the impression that maybe Evan wonders if the reason Jared hasn’t told his parents that they’re dating is because he’s embarrassed of him or something

Which obviously isn’t true, but first of all: that’s anxiety babyyy!! and second of all: given years of putting up with Jared’s teasing and shitty jokes and emotional problems? Not the most unreasonable conclusion to come to.

So a part of it for Jared is about wanting to show Evan that he loves him and he wants other people to know.

Anyway, Jared’s pretty nervous about coming out. Mostly because he’s not really sure how his parents are going to take it, but also because the Kleinmans just... do not do emotions. Not necessarily in a bad way, they just don’t ever talk about feelings. (hm I wonder where Jared got it from :/)

He decides he’s going to tell his mum first. So he tells her he’s gay and it actually goes suprisingly well.

Her immediate response is just “Oh. Well, I can’t say I’m surprised.”

She says it in a teasing way and she’s smiling, but Jared is almost kind of offended?

He’s just, he’s not like “sterotypically gay” and he thought he’d done a pretty decent job of hiding it over the years. I mean sure he never expressed any interest in any girls, but he never expressed interest in any guys to his parents either?

Until his mum tells him that he announced to her that he was going to marry Luke Skywalker when he was like 7 lmao. (Sweet boy with soft blonde hair and big blue eyes? That sounds awfully familiar!)

So they have a kind of nice conversation about it. It’s a little awkward sure because like I said the Kleinmans don’t do FeelingsTM, but it’s nice and Jared feels relieved because honestly he’d been bracing himself for the worst just incase.

It’s going so well that Jared then goes “Also... I have a boyfriend.”

And now his mum actually does look surprised, which kind of hurts because surely it can’t be that unbelievable that he’s dating someone.

But she’s still really supportive, and says something along the lines of

“That’s great Jared, I’m really happy for you. If you ever want to invite him over for dinner, I’d love to meet him.”

And then is Jared all... ok so here’s the thing lmao.

“Actually, um, it’s Evan.”

And here’s where the angst part of this factors in. Because Jared’s mum just kind of... doesn’t really believe him.

She’s just like “Evan Evan?”

And Jared’s getting kind of annoyed now.  “Yes, Evan Evan.” He feels all hot and his cheeks are flushed because this is so humiliating, is it really that hard to believe that Evan would like him?

Cause here’s the thing with Jared’s parents and Evan. Growing up they’d always kind of praise him as being so polite and such a good kid, which eventually became more of a passive aggressive jab at Jared which really meant - why can’t you be more polite and well-mannered like Evan?

A lot of adults tend to baby Evan because of his anxiety and kind of assume that he can do no wrong. Like, if Jared and Evan ever did something together as kids and got in trouble, it would always be Jared’s fault. Regardless of what really happened, because the adults would just assume Jared was being a bad influence on poor, sweet Evan.

Oh boy, if Jared’s parents ever found out the truth about The Connor Project? They’d absolutely assume it was all Jared’s fault because they couldn’t possibly imagine Evan ever doing something so horrible.

ANYWAY, basically Jared’s mum thinks Evan is too good for Jared.

Which his mum actually says to him. Jared’s mum has always been blunt, but this just feels cruel. Because god if that doesn’t hit all of his biggest insecurities.

And like, He knows, Jared fucking knows that Evan’s too good for him, but hearing it from his own mother? Knowing that this seemingly universal truth is so obvious that even other people can see it? Ouch.

So yeah, the rest of that conversation doesn’t go particulary well :( If I was feeling nice I might write a second chapter of Evan comforting and reassuring Jared afterwards lol.

So tldr? Coming out goes well, but trying to convince his parents that Evan actually likes him and isn’t just dating Jared because he’s incapable of saying no? Less successful.

I’m sorry I got a little carried away with this one lmao, but now I’m thinking I might actually finish writing it so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  we will see

[teddystrap]

Drama CD: [幽幻ロマンチカ・真骨頂] ≁Bakeneko Arahagi・Inugami Toneri≁

No audio track this time sorry! But anyway, I’ve made sizeable progress on the Yuuroma series: Hifumi + Utashiro’s Hatenkou, Zakuro, Toneri, and a bunch of tokuten for everybody (/*^-^)/. I’ll do the 2nd Shinkocchou first, for continuity.

And I haven’t listened to the two individual discs before this, so I had no idea who they are... or that their names are actually Arahagi (cat demon; cv. Kaji Yuuki) and Toneri (dog deity; cv, Hirakawa Daisuke) until about 3/4 into the story, since they kept calling each other ‘Stupid Cat’ and ‘Stupid Dog’. Orz

Obvsly this time there is no bromance like in the 1st disc and they fight like... err... cats and dogs (for lack of a better description XD).

As before, hidden messages from the both of them:

１．壱、都市伝説『二次元カレシ』 ２．弐、手が<か>りはどこ？ ３．参、そこは見せか<け>の幸福世界 ４．四、ここにず<っ>といよう ５．伍、意地でも負<け>られない ６．六、この世界が壊れ<る>としても ７．七、 都市伝説『二次元カレシ』看破 ８．キャストトーク

Arahagi: bold⋆ spells 「どこにでも」 (‘No matter where [you are]...’)

Toneri: <⋆> spells 「かけつ��る」 (‘...I will rush to your side’)

...うれしいィィ！！ありがとね、二人とも～^^

*

[The Second Rumour: Urban Legend ‘2D Boyfriend’]

All the girls at your school are addicted to a mobile otome game app. Rumour has it that players can end up getting trapped in the game world, and their bodies are found in sleeping position holding their phones in one hand.

Toilet Guy has again asked Arahagi and Toneri to investigate. This time your team name is: the Pitch-Black Executors ~DARK (K)NIGHT MESSIAH~. Σ_(꒪ཀ꒪」∠)_. And both your animal manservants have the good sense to hate this abomination of a name. But it will come in handy later on...

So. First order of business is to throw *you* into the virtual world. It’s been rumoured that collecting a full set of accessories from one game character can accomplish this, so your animal bfs possess your body and go shopping.

They push a bunch of bling on you (Toneri makes you wear a choker that reminds him of a dog collar XD), and eventually you can’t take it anymore and run out of the store because you don’t wanna turn into the lovechild of Katy Perry and Flavor Flav. And anyway it didn’t work. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ RIP Operation BringTheBling1.

Plan #2: There is another rumour that players get sucked in when they access the app at midnight. So Catboy and Dogman (henceforth ‘CatDog’) camp over in your bed, and sure enough, when the clock strikes 12, you fall into a deep sleep and enter the game world.

The game is set in a high school that’s an *exact* replica of Nanagiri, with two characters who sound (and look) exactly like your Cat and Dog bfs. [Hirarin is the senpai and Kaji is the kouhai, ofc.] You are shocked by this unfolding of events, and the two of them think you have a cold and need to go to the nurse’s office to rest.

You take this as an opportunity to escape, and as you are running you hear Arahagi and Toneri’s voices from the other side. They successfully possess your sleeping body and enter the virtual world as well.

Senpai and Kouhai can see the demons possessing you. They forcibly exorcise the duo and drag you away. As the exorcised duo come to, they find themselves turned into their chibi forms XDD. Meanwhile, Senpai and Kouhai have taken you to the nurse’s office. As they are trying to approach you, you spray the fire extinguisher at them and make your escape. Niceee.

You manage to find Arahagi and Toneri hiding in the courtyard. They repossess your body to regain their powers and apologise for not being able to protect you. But you have come up with a battle plan: Operation LoveLetter1. Dun dun DUNNN.

The plan is to put a love letter in their shoe locker asking Senpai and Kouhai to meet with you next evening. Being in an otome game, they can only do as they are told to unlock the love event. (Also what is with this 3P-harem setting where you can confess and unlock event for two characters at once?? I need to get in on dis yo. ¬‿¬)

You and CatDog stay up all night to discuss the battle plan, and Arahagi thinks this whole game reeks of the work of a human being. He figures out that they can rob the game characters of their powers by stealing their phones. (Why do even the characters have phones inside the game??) And to power-up themselves, CatDog trade hugs and kisses with each other (I WISH!!) you to feed off of your human energy.

Next day, Senpai and Kouhai show up at the arranged meeting time, and CatDog appear to start a riot. They throw out your team name Pitch-Black Executors ~DARK (K)NIGHT MESSIAH~, which confuses their opponents and gives them the perfect opportunity to steal the opponents’ phones.

Toneri ties the two characters up with chains and Arahagi drops a bunch of machinery and shit on top of them, but dis ain’t ovah ya’ll. The two of them go into *dark mode*. They change the backdrop and damage the data of Arahagi and Toneri’s bodies. As they bury CatDog alive and take you away, you tell them that you believe in CatDog, which gives them the power they need to free themselves from entombment and destroy the game characters.

...When the smoke clears, they see a student that was sucked into the game world. Strangely enough, *it’s a boy*, and they figure that he must be the human that the game monster is possessing and feeding off of.

It turns out that the boy offered himself as a human sacrifice to the urban legend and created this game world to shield his younger sister from the harsh reality. The game world begins to disintegrate, and Toneri tells the boy to face his sister properly instead of doing this stupid shit in the name of ‘protection’. To Toneri and Arahagi, who come into this world all alone, every little detail of the familial bonds and ties between humans seems magical and deserves to be treasured.

The three of you wake up in your bed, and CatDog wonder if the boy’s little sister is going to be alright. You devise a plan... for the two of them to appear to her in a dream pretending to be the two game characters. Toneri flubs his lines and gets beaten up by Arahagi XD. They tell the girl they are relieved that she has finally awoken from her slumber, and invite her to play the game again whenever she is feeling down.

Now a new urban legend has arisen: that whenever a girl gets sucked into the game world, her 2D boyfriend tells her to get out or else she won’t make it to her own wedding in the future. (#meirl XDD.) What’s more, CatDog have erased the oniisan’s memories of the whole incident, and both he and his sister have returned to school as usual.

*Meanwhile*, YOU have become addicted to this game app XD. After unsuccessfully trying to snatch your phone out of your hands, CatDog tease you with kisses and promise to make your real life more exciting than any game ever... yes please Hirarin and Kaji the two of you can come and possess me any time I don’t mind fufufufu~~~ (´┓`*)

*

[Thoughts] ⋆敬称略⋆

Ok so this was my first introduction to both characters (Arahagi/Toneri). I kept thinking as I was listening to it: wouldn’t it be great if Kaji and Hirarin switched roles? Doesn’t it feel like Kaji has more of an excitable puppy-like personality (or quality to his voice, rather), and Hirarin has more of a slow, cat-like temperament??

In fact in the Free Talk when Hirarin said that he is 100% a Cat Person and he thinks Arahagi is really cute, I was all ready to jump out of my chair all like, ‘I KNEW IT!!!’ #notoverreactingatall._(:3」∠)_. ...I guess Rejet wanted to switch it up a little? Or maybe Kimura Ryouhei was busy, because Toneri [yandere + dog ears] sounds like the job for him. Also I can’t help but wonder how perfect Hirarin would be as Utashiro lulling me to sleep with his soothing voice...

(*ฅ́˘ฅ̀*)♡

But all this fantasy casting aside, every time I hear Toneri’s adorable grumpy/growling noises that he makes when he’s dissatisfied, I feel like they made the right casting choice after all. #omgWANT ლ(⁰⊖⁰ლ)

What else, what else... HmMMmMmm, the story and characters/pair dynamics this time round is a bit more childish and less ‘tight’ than before. So idk, I didn’t feel as much of *Deh Romantic Feelz* towards Arahagi/Toneri like I did for Hifumi/Utashiro. Although I still enjoyed it because I am immature.

The doppelganger bit was pretty kewl though. Although the battle scene kind of got resolved in a very #WTF kind of way and left me wanting more. Also the overprotective older brother story would’ve benefited from a better explanation/backstory of why he did what he did, no? Overall just kind of #わけわかんない, and not a very tight story, like I said.

The otome game theme was kind of relevant and interesting, esp the senpai character in the game who kept emphasising the use of this kind of romance fantasies as a form of escapism. ...Which got a bit philosophical/personal in a way, although I’m not sure if Toneri was the best person to expound on this because he’s so... erm... simple-minded XD.

Nonetheless, the overall message was clear: that it’s always better to face things head-on, and you have limitless potential as a human being. +++

But *then again* this series isn’t meant to be analysed very deeply. It’s more just for ya’ll to enjoy the cute huggable chibi things and the powerful demons protecting the fuck out of you. Yeah? Yeahh.

Although!! From the cast commentaries it seems like the seiyuu themselves can’t/won’t actually protect you from anything in the event of an actual urban legend/haunting. It’s funny how they voice all these powerful/scary demon and spirit characters, but when they see an actual horror programme or whatever on TV they quickly look away and change the channel!! (-_-|||) SENSEI I AM DISAPPOINT. 

The only exception so far is Sakurai Takahiro, who spouted off a bunch of kaidan-banashi from his old high school enthusiastically when asked. Like, everyone else is a wimp and he is the One True Hero. He even has ‘he[/i]ro’ in his name!!

[kachinnate]

these are a few of my faaavorite fics ✨

not that anyone asked for my opinion BUT these are a couple of my… fav deh fics of all time!* they’re all linked to ao3 and i think i have all the authors tagged that i know of that has a tumblr so

*i made this list especially for fics that aren’t, like.. as well known as some of the Popular Fandom Fics, partially bc everyone’s already read them and knows how awesome they are and partially bc otherwise this list would be ten pages long hehe,,, also sorry if you’re seeing this twice, i had to repost bc the links were all broken ?? 

throwing under a readmore bc this is a chunky boy!!!!! keep in mind that these aren’t in any particular order:

in the in-between - chchchchcherrybomb, vinegar-and-glitter (x) [tree bros] – Connor’s turning 27. Evan’s sitting the bar exam. Over and over again. – itsa timeloop au!! i’m not sure if this is a common au or not, but i’ve never read anything else like this before, and ohhhh my god. each chapter is a switch-off from connor’s pov to evan’s pov, and i assume the authors each wrote for one character (?), but oh my god their writing works so well together?? they both have distinct styles and ways of writing but it flows together perfectly,, without spoiling anything, ev and connor’s dynamic in this universe is a lot different to anything else i’ve personally read before, partially because they’re quite a bit older here than in canon (which, while is obviously portrayed, they still are easily recognizable as the characters they are in the musical), and partially because it strays away from the common ‘they’re both misfits/not doing great, but connor is worse for wear and evan has to save him’, which i think is rlly nice.. (also, like, never have i ever considered that evan would want to be a lawyer, but after reading this fic not only am i sold on it but i’m convinced 100% that him being a lawyer could genuinely be fuckin canon) (also also, the evan characterization in this? hands down my favorite out of any fic i’ve ever read tbh) the world building is really incredible too - like, i don’t even want to consider this one a fuckin fic bro because it’s like highkey just this incredible novel?? it also has a completed sequel called it’s always been you (x) that i haven’t finished that takes place after the events of this fic, and so far?? also fucking incredible 15/10 i definitely recommend

lapse - cecropia / @wildflowermonet (x) [tree bros] – “For what it’s worth,” Connor says casually, “I don’t think you should die tonight.” – welcome to another installment of ‘kayla read this and immediately couldn’t think about anything else for a solid consecutive 12 hours’!! evan and connor have really wonderful characterizations in this one too - i’m pretty sure i’ve elaborated on it before but literally my favorite thing is when people actually write evan as more than an anxious kid, and omg this author did that perfectly asfjkdsg - you can see the subtle Growth as he gets more comfortable with connor and jared (and all the other deh characters too bc this fic has a lovely fOUND FAMILY FINISH AT THE END EEE) and it’s just. aaaah. *heart eyes emoji*. it’s set in their senior year, and they form an unsteady friendship and learn to lean on each other and figure out the whole ‘having friends’ thing, midway through evan realizes he’s a-pinin’, it’s just. Great. this fic is relatively new too i think so u def def def should go give it a read and give the author some love!!!!!!!!!!!

to have a friend - demistories / @transanabeth (x) [tree bros] – Pretend to be friends with Connor Murphy, who yells at people and skips class to smoke and pushes people and threw a printer in the second grade, for twenty dollars a week.

Evan closes his hand around the bill and then stuffs it into his pocket.

“I-I’ll do it.” – ok this is one of, if not, the first fic i’ve ever read coming into the fandom, so it of course has a rlly special place in my heart!! it’s a classic ‘fake dating au’, also with switching povs between chapters. connor offers evan 20$ a week to be his fake friend, almost follows through with the events of the musical but doesn’t, finds out about evan’s own attempt, and they just sorta… cope together. it’s a lot of second guessing bc neither of them knows if the other considers the other a friend or not, and ofc when the fake dating part comes in that gets amplified by 10 asdfghj. honestly i think it’s a cooler approach to the fake dating au troupe (the chapter titles are increments of 20$, which honestly is equally cruel as is creative) and is so!! heartwrenching!!! it’s been a while since i’ve read it but i’m pretty sure that i bawled at the twist so >’D

the only thing is that this fic isn’t finished and there isn’t an intention for it to be finished from what i know of(?) - the author included a brief synopsis of the ending to tie loose ends and give a sort of closure to the fic, but that absolutely doesn’t take away from how freaking incredibly written it is and doesn’t mean you shouldn’t give it a read anyway !! i kept up with it while it was a WIP and honestly every time i got the email notification that it updated i dropped everything to fuckin read that shit 😤😤 when i think of deh fics, this is honestly just one of the first that comes to mind for me just bc it was one of the first ones i’ve read, and it just… was so good that i still think about it months after i read the last chapter safkjasf

no comfort in the truth - @nothingunrealistic (x) [kleinsen] – Like everyone in the world, Evan has the last words his soulmate will ever say to him on his skin.

Evan hears a lot of last words during his senior year. – okay if this were an accurate list i’d literally have every drabble soph has ever written down on here but that is entirely beside the point

literally knowing beforehand that this is a kleinsen fic and then reading the summary, u kno this shit is going to be painful ,, honestly this style is one of my fave fic formats (especially when it comes to writing in the canon deh universe) because like ,, it’s simplistic but works really well as a story-telling method?? not everything has to be perfectly strung together and every day doesn’t have to be written out for it to still convey the same like.. impact as a super long fic would, and honestly writing it in like flashes or snippets makes the build up that much more anticipating? bc again when u write within the events of the musical it’s not like u don’t know what’s going to happen,, u can focus less on worldbuilding bc hey, it’s already done for u, and instead write more indepthly about the topic of the soulmate au!! but uhhh REGARDLESS soph is literally the kleinsen matriarch in my eyes, they always write evan and jared w/ Perfect characterization and dynamics and just Ah! this one is angsty, but it has a v nice and hopeful ending, and i *clutches heart* love,,,

nowhere else i’d rather be:  nosecoffee / @nose-coffee​​ (x) [tree bros] – A fake dating au where they’re next door neighbours, Evan bakes, and Connor’s already a little in love with Evan anyway – this one is a series - the first fic kinda Establishes stuff and the second one gets into the whole fake dating thing!! they live in apartments next to each other, evan bakes for connor, they go campin with connor’s family, it’s just….. rlly sweet and i love it

also, it contains this hilarious bit that i haven’t been able to forget about despite finding this fic months ago:

do me a favour - can your heart rate rise a little? - nosecoffee / @nose-coffee​ (x) [treebros]

an au where the hansen family owns an arcade….. honestly what more can i say?? it’s slowburn and treebros and i p much love everything that nosecoffee has written ever so this is no exception obviously

jared and connor vs. the mortifying ordeal of being known - caswell @techconsigliere , puglebug @puglebug (x) [kleinphy] – Jared is admitted to group therapy following the divorce of his mother from his asshole father. What he doesn’t anticipate is that Connor would be there, too. – THE KLEINPHY CONTENT WE ALL DESERVE BEING PROVIDED TO US BY CJ AND EZRA!!! it’s a one-shot with just enough slowburn to keep you 👀 , jared is working through some stuff and after some fumbling connor is w/ him to help him thru it, the end of this fic has my heart aching the entire way through every time i read it and it’s just… *chefs kiss* (i even drew some fanart for it if you’re ever so inclined)

forever going with the flow, but you’re friction - lizzy_stardust_18 @delightfullyanachronistic​ (x) [band trees] – Zoe knew that of all of the things that her mother had expected from the evening, Evan Hansen showing up at her door with his arms full of her drunken daughter was not one of them. – big bet i wasn’t getting through this list without including fiona’s fics, are u crazy??? BUT this one is set a year (?) after the events of canon, zoe’s at a party and evan finds her, and they talk about stuff n’ things - there’s also a sweet moment in there between zoe and cynthia (in which cynthia is Rightfully Skeptical of evan) which is v wholesome and Refreshing because honestly the murphy parents never get written in a good light and fiona does it ~ perfectly ~. lotsa metaphors. evan and zoe are big dorks. evan is a taylor swift stan. what isn’t there to love

i can’t call you a stranger, but i can’t call you up - lizzy_stardust_18 - @delightfullyanachronistic (x) [kleinsen] – Jared fiddled his thumbs. He wished more than anything that he could move to a different seat, but causing a scene at Heidi Hansen’s wedding reception wasn’t exactly high on his to-do list. Besides, he was an adult. He had a job. He ate ramen only three times a week. He could handle a simple social interaction like a real human being. He was lucky that no one else had found their seats at his table yet. It gave him time to gather his wits about him. He drummed his fingers on the table nervously. – jared and evan are forced to talk after the events of canon via sitting next to each other at heidi’s wedding. they argue a bunch bc jared is still rightfully hurt, they discuss TCP and jared’s treatment of evan over the past couple years, they fight it out and then we learn some jared backstory and then there are tears and it ends on a fluffy + hopeful note!! good shit !!!!