#i forget how the tag system on tumblr works forgive me

[mikareo]

“ ࣭⸰ ★ post of gratitude ! <3

⊹ ⠀⠀ hi guys! on my old blog, i'd make a post every november to spread gratitude for the mutuals i interact w most n wanted to carry that tradition onto this blog! ily all and hope that your day was wonderful today (unless ur a nanami stan bc that was rlly rough im so sorry abt that ep ajskl)

psa; if u weren't tagged in this post, pls know that i appreciate u very much and would love to interact w u more!! msg me anytime n i'll try my best to visit ur inbox in the near future!

꒰ . . to my readers ꒱

⋆⋆⋆⠀ ⠀ thank u so much for supporting my work by reading, liking, sharing, or commenting on any of my writing! i love reading through reblogs and seeing what u guys think of my ideas,, it's so motivating n i appreciate it so much like omg sometimes u got my kickin my feet reading thru ur comments ajskl i hope to post quality content for ur enjoyment n i luv u all,, much more to come as time goes on !!!

꒰ . . to my mutuals ꒱ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ᯇ in alphabetical order

⌗ @chigirizzz ₊ ˖ ་.

⋆⋆⋆⠀ ⠀ hi val! just wanted to say that i love how supportive u are of other creators on the site,, i feel like whenever i see u on the dash ur always hyping someone up or making their day brighter! ALSO i cant believe u also know the voltage otome games bc i feel like i'm crazy sometimes bc no one know what they are LMFAO i hope u had an amazing day !!!

⌗ @doobea ₊ ˖ ་.

⋆⋆⋆⠀ ⠀ dooby!!! i love the bright energy u bring to my dash n i think ur absolutely gorgeous (u ate that choso costume up omg ajskdlf) ur always such a pleasure to interact w n i think ur writing is amazing,, i rlly need to just binge it all one night ESP the choso fics u post bc ur writing rlly captures how much u love him LOL my fav choso worshipper <3 hope yall get married!

⌗ @hesthermay ₊ ˖ ་.

⋆⋆⋆⠀ ⠀ hi pookie teehee,, i haven't answered ur text yet bc i was trying to figure out how to fry chicken (3 of them were raw ajsklf) but i will after i post this lol. ilyvm and i can't wait for u to stay w me,, i'm gonna take u to the mall n treat u to some canes chicken fingers *heart eyes* (i'm typing on my laptop forgive me) you've been w me since my org blog from sept 2020 n i act can't believe how long we've known each other now (3 years!) ur so old like ur my granny but that's ok bc ur my favorite granny ever,, sorry for violating u #ageism is not okay,, i miss u so much n i miss ur bf bc ur my mom n dad (legally) i even miss ur roommate who i actually can't rlly remember the name of but that's not the point i'm trying to make so forget i said that part,, i definitely know his name!!! also i decided that kingsley is my favorite dog u have bc he's tiny n reminds me of my doggie,, luv ya! text u in a bit!

⌗ @itadorey ₊ ˖ ་.

⋆⋆⋆⠀ ⠀ omg hi inez, remember these? no u probably don't bc i got rlly lazy w my blog in the late days (rip aitarose) i love all of the tiktoks u send me n i love ur instagram stories bc they make me laugh n i love how much u love snoopy,, he's literally my idol n there are so many statues of him in my city it's so funny n they always make me think of u. ur my yung gravy queen,, i love u so much n i'm so glad hq tumblr let me meet u even tho it was lowkey traumatizing (yikes) our mudae days were so fun,, esp the night i let that person put the roleplay bot into my server jkals so grateful for u !!!

⌗ @kitorin ₊ ˖ ་.

⋆⋆⋆⠀ ⠀ hiiii souta!!!! i just wanted to say that i LOVE seeing u comment first on my writing posts,, like it motivates me so much bc i know i have such a large support system coming from u n ur so sweet n talented AJSJJJ u were (i think?) my first new mutual on this blog when i first made it,, n you've made coming back to tumblr such a welcoming n amazing experience! i'm so grateful to be ur mutual n i hope you've had an absolutely amazing day!

⌗ @mymegumi ₊ ˖ ་.

⋆⋆⋆⠀ ⠀ firstly BITCH ANSWER MY TEXT. secondly, happy thanksgiving! <3 wish we were spending it together but distance is real n it hates us :( miss u and can't wait to see u whenever that is lmfao like whenever plane tickets decide to stop being so expensive,, so glad we aren't beefing anymore haha that was so silly of us... anyways... whenever i do see u, i'm going to give u a big hug n then we're going to gossip abt everything that's happened since we were last together n it's going to be great bc i'm going to make u watch twice videos n ur gonna love them as much as i do bc i'm ur sister n u have no choice but to love what i love! hahaha... i love you so much n i'm so glad ur my sister #meimei n jiajia 4ever <- that's actually approved by me n that's all that matters bc i'm actually the president of the world and ur my favorite person on it jaklsdf ANSWER MY TEXT BITCH

⌗ @pokkomi ₊ ˖ ་.

⋆⋆⋆⠀ ⠀ chiu u r genuinely one of the most positive ppl i've ever met on tumblr n i love u sm for it like jaskdlfjdkl u always make my day when u reblog a post n reading ur tags is so heartwarming n it makes me want to write a million more pieces just to see what u think of them,, ur theme is absolutely adorable n i love ur alpha wolf pfp bc it's so funny n i was literally giggling when u were answering asks abt it n i saw them on my dash,, i hope that every day is an amazing day for u n if u ever need anything u can come in my pms to chat or my inbox (i will def be saying hi later in urs LOL) have an amazing amazing day n i can't wait for u to post any kind of writing in the future!

⌗ @rewh0re ₊ ˖ ་.

⋆⋆⋆⠀ ⠀ hi hana!!! i'm so glad u popped into my inbox n said hi bc i always saw u interacting w ppl on the dash n i was too nervous to say hi jakfsdlkl i love interacting w u n talking abt whatever n whenever in inboxes or replies,, ur username always makes me giggle n i love it so much (i always read it as 'reo whore' for some reason asjfdkl but i love it) i send ur kuroo fics to my kuroo stan friend n she eats them up,, ur writing style is so beautiful n emotional,, i love the way u structure ur plots w metaphors n repetition n symbolism n everything u put into ur hard work it's all so amazing,, wishing u the very best day tmr ever!

⌗ @wishmemel ₊ ˖ ་.

⋆⋆⋆⠀ ⠀ HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY SAFI!!!! ik i alr said it but it never hurts to hear a million times n more! i associate u sm w sanrio like idk if mymelo is ur favorite but in my head u r the real life her ajsfkl,, ur so sweet n genuine i love interacting w u n seeing u all over my dash,, I HOPE UR BIRTHDAY WAS AMAZING !!!! ... fixing this bc im screaming bc i can't believe i mixed that up omg... anyways... LUV U

⌗ @yoisami ₊ ˖ ་.

⋆⋆⋆⠀ ⠀ OKAY FIRST i literally LOVE ur theme like it's so cute n so fitting to ur personality i love it sm ajsfkdl saki ur so sweet n i'm so glad we're mutuals bc i always look forwards to seeing u on my dash or going to ur inbox (which i'm lacking on rn but i promise i'll visit it more soon jaskdl!!!!) the way u support ff writing on tumblr is so amazing w ur reblogs n tags,, n i look foward to reading more of ur writing in the future (hopefully i can live up to ur sweet tags!) !!! have an amazing amazing day saki !!!!!!

⌗ @y2kuromi ₊ ˖ ་.

⋆⋆⋆⠀ ⠀ screaming bc i got ur bday mixed up w another mutual but HAPPY BIRTHDAY AGAIN LMFAO !!!! i hope that ur day was so amazing n that i'm not getting this wrong again (SORRY SAFI) !!! mimi ur so nice i'm like giggling so hard rn im so sorry,, happy happy birthday hope it was amazing!

⌗ all of my other loves <3 ₊ ˖ ་.

⋆⋆⋆⠀ ⠀ i love being mutuals w all of u n being a part of such a supportive writing community! ur all so talented n ur blogs r beautiful, i hope ur day was absolutely amazing n that we can interact more in the future (i will be invading ur inboxes that's a promise ajfskdl) !!!! happy november!!!

[paxdraws]

My peace has always depended

On all the ashes in my wake

[babyboibucky]

Promises, promises

Pairing: AU!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: You believed that promises are meant to be broken but Bucky always proved you wrong. Until one day, he proved you right.

Word Count: 6,555 (oops I got carried away lol)

Warnings: Angst, a tiny bit of self-doubt but with a happy ending!!!

A/N: Some tags aren’t working, damn u tumblr! Anyway enjoy the angst and the shitty writing lmfao. Also kinda want to do ficlets for these two??? Like short fics about the happenings in their relationship, their first date, how they dealt with the break up idk, lemme know if anyone’s interested in that xoxo

MAIN MASTERLIST

-

It's been four and a half years since Bucky broke up with you and honestly, you're fine now. Fine, as in you've moved on from him and that you haven't been stalking his Instagram account anymore or have been asking Steve how he's doing since the break up. You're fine now, really.

There was not an ounce of denial left in your body after almost two years of pining and self-blame. But that doesn't mean you've forgotten the pain he caused you when he woke up one day and realized that he didn't need you anymore.

Forgive and forget they often told you and you badly wanted to do so. But it wasn't that easy to do, not when you still feel the pain as if it only happened yesterday.

"What did you say?" your forehead creased as you walked around the kitchen counter, quickly approaching Bucky who had his back to you as he stood in the living room of your shared apartment.

You weren't sure if you heard him right, or if he actually said anything. Perhaps you were just hearing things? Just this morning he woke up and greeted you with his charming smile before pressing a soft peck on your lips. You had cooked breakfast together, laughed together and even talked about what to have for dinner.

Sure, something about his demeanor earlier was a bit off, but you assumed it had something to do about his work and not because he wanted to break up with you.

Right?

"Bucky, what did you say?" you pressed when Bucky remained quiet; he didn't even turn around to face you.

He heaved out a deep sigh, "I said I need space." he murmured.

"What do you mean, Buck?" you asked again, voice small and shaky as you fidgeted with the hem of your shirt.

Of course you knew what exactly Bucky meant by that, but you didn't want to believe it. You were hopeful that maybe this was one of those petty fights you used to have, one where Bucky would spend the night over at Steve's. He'll come around the next day, he always does that. You always woke up to him whispering apologies to your ear and you would say your sorry too.

Bucky rubbed his face with his hand before finally turning to you, "I can't do this anymore." he said, shaking his head before averting his gaze to the floor.

He must have seen the look in your eyes when he faced you. As much as you believed that you were pretty good at hiding your emotions, it never worked on Bucky. He was the only person who could always read you; you could never hide from him.

"Bucky, I don't understand." you let out a nervous chuckle as you hugged yourself, biting your lower lip to prevent them from quivering as you held back the urge to cry.

Bucky rubbed the back of his neck, "I just...you've been too...fuck, I don't know how to say this without hurting you. I really don't want to." he admitted dejectedly, looking up at you.

You scoffed, "Just fucking say it, Bucky. I'm already hurt just by having this conversation." you told him.

"You're too good for me. Way too good."

Bucky’s words echoed in your mind again as you laid your eyes on him, four and a half years after your break-up. And just like that, you were back to square one.

You did your best to avoid him after he left, you felt like Bucky too tried to do the same. It was harder than you thought, given that you belonged to the same circle of friends. There were missed birthday parties, anniversaries and get togethers. If you knew Bucky was going to be there, you’d bail. Thank god you had a bunch of understanding friends who never took your absences against you.

But an engagement party between two of your friends? Now that was something you wouldn’t want to miss out on.

You’ve been really happy for quite a while now, to the point that it never crossed your mind that Bucky would surely be attending as well. He had been out of your system since the day you decided to move past him, which is why you thought that you were finally a-okay.

Tonight proved you wrong because as you watched Bucky smile and greet your friends, you realized that you still wanted to punch him and hurt him and tell him that you were still in lo—

“Hi.”

You were too focused on daydreaming about how you wanted to hurt Bucky that you failed to notice that he made his way to you and was now waiting for you to greet him back.

Bucky was smiling at you the same way he did on the night you first met at a college house party. You and Bucky have been together for that long.

“Hi.”

The music was too loud that you missed out on the stranger’s greeting, if not for his shadow looming over your hunched figure as you sat on the staircase, you would’ve completely ignored him.

The guy was looking down at you with a charming smile that made your cheeks turn pink. He was tall and slightly muscular, something you noticed right off the bat all thanks to the tight red henley he was sporting. The guy had long hair too, but it was tied back into a low man bun that was messy enough to leave tendrils of stray hair to frame his handsome face.

“Hi.” He repeated with a chuckle, a hint of amusement laced in his tone as he bit his lip at the sight of you just staring up at him.

“Hi?” You stammered awkwardly.

He laughed, “Um, can I pass through or is there some sort of password required?”

You realized that you had been blocking his way, everyone’s way actually. Quickly, you apologized and stood up to leave your spot only for the guy to block your way before you could even hop off of the last step of the staircase.

Thinking that you must have confused him and the direction you intended to go, you murmured a soft apology again before sidestepping him but to no avail. You looked up at him with a frown when you noticed that he was intentionally blocking your way.

It didn’t help that he was way taller than you. Despite the one being on the last step of the staircase, the guy still loomed over you.

“Excuse me?” You snapped and tried to move past him but he was way bigger than you and managed to stop you from passing through.

He had a cheeky smile on as he watched your futile attempt to squeeze your way out of his large body. You huffed out when he held onto the rail while his other hand on the wall, completely trapping you on the staircase.

“What’s the password?” He asked, still grinning at you.

You deadpanned, “Are you kidding me?”

He shook his head, “Nope.”

You stared at him blankly before glancing at his hands, observing whether you had a chance at prying them away from where they held on. It was then that you noticed how his left hand was covered in tattoos. The sleeve of his henley rode up quite a bit to reveal that his tattoos reached his wrist, he probably had his entire left arm sleeved with ink.

“Can I please pass?” You huffed out when you concluded that there was no way you would be able to escape him.

“Like I said, I need a password.” He insisted.

“Penis.” You stated, face free from any sort of expression.

The guy choked on his laughter, “Why would you honestly think that?” He asked incredulously.

You shrugged, “I thought you guys liked dick jokes.” You reasoned out.

The guy laughed as he shook his head, “Well, you’re not wrong.”

“It’s not the password?” You asked. “Don’t I get a hint or something, I really don’t have time for games right now. I have to go back to my dorm. I have a test tomorrow.” You told the guy.

“I can’t believe you’re thinking about a test. What’s your major anyway?” He asked.

You groaned, “Like I said, I don’t have time for games or even for a conversation. Come on, just let me pass through!”

The guy hummed as he stared at you, as if he was thinking of something. You wanted to look away but he had beautiful ocean blue eyes that you found yourself slowly getting lost in.

“I’ll give you hints.” He announced. “Two hints actually, because I’m feeling generous.”

“Okay, then. Just spit it out!” You rushed.

The guy grinned.

“The password is made up of your name followed by your number.”

“Hi.”

You blinked when Bucky repeated his greeting. When you regained your senses, you cleared your throat and simply nodded at him as acknowledgment. You saw how Bucky’s smile faltered seconds before you looked away and pretended to look for someone.

“I can’t believe you just brushed me off.” He chuckled, running his fingers through his hair.

Bucky had cut off his hair right after graduation. He sported a clean cut since then but now he had longer locks; not as long as his college hair though. It just looked fluffier, you fought the urge to imagine how it’d feel through your fingers.

“I can’t believe you just expected me to greet you as if nothing happened.” You told him, letting your eyes wander around the place.

Bucky exhaled heavily and shook his head, “I thought we’d be okay by now.” He admitted. “Guess I was wrong.”

You clicked your tongue in irritation, snapping your head into his direction after avoiding his gaze earlier. “I am okay, but that doesn’t mean I am okay with being around you.” You hissed.

“I honestly thought we’d still be friends, you know. Civil at least.”

What has gotten into Bucky’s mind for him to expect a lovely reunion between the both of you? Things didn’t end well, he just left. He was too ambitious to even think that you’d greet him with rainbows and butterflies.

“We’re not friends, Bucky. Not even acquaintances.” You told him.

Bucky opened his mouth to say something until someone tapped on the mic, announcing that the newly engaged couple, Wanda and Vis, had something to say to their guests. By the time he looked back at you, you had already walked away and joined Nat at their table.

It reminded Bucky of the days when he used to watch your back retreat into your dorm whenever he walked you home.

“So, you gonna tell me the password or what?”

You felt all your blood rush to your head and you’ve never been thankful for existence of strobe lights. You were probably red as a tomato. Who wouldn’t be anyway? This handsome dude just asked for your name and number!

“Is this a joke?” You managed to asked and thanked the heavens that you didn’t stutter.

The guy shook his head, “I don’t really joke around.” He shrugged.

“Why do you even want to know my name and number?” you curiously asked.

Bucky shrugged, “Been watching you since you arrived.”

“Creeper.” you accused.

“Hard not to when you’re the only grumpy person in a party. I know your friends dragged you here, I mean you said you have a test tomorrow and you don’t seem the type to party a day before. Besides, you’ve been keeping to yourself the entire time. Figured you might want some company, one with substance.” he boastfully wiggled his eyebrows at you.

His confidence appalled you but you were also surprised at how he seemed to have read your mind. Or personality, in general.

“Hey, Bucky!”

You watched the guy turn his head towards front door where a blonde guy— Steve from the student council, you recognized— entered. You thought it’d give you a chance to slip away but the guy, well Bucky, kept his hands in place.

“Kinda busy right now, pal. I’ll catch up with you later.” He said.

Steve’s gaze moved past Bucky until they landed on you. He chuckled as he shook his head at his friend’s antics. Steve walked away but not without acknowledging you.

“He may not seem like it, but Bucky’s a good guy. You can take my word for it.”

Bucky turned to you and lifted an eyebrow, “I mean, coming from a student council member, that’s a pretty credible source.” He said confidently.

You bit the inside of your cheek to stop yourself from smiling. You had to admit, Bucky had a way with words and actions. His boyish charm was working on you and you hated how easily you were falling for it. And you just met the guy like ten minutes ago!

“So, what’s the password?” Bucky asked again.

You tapped your foot as you crossed your arms over your chest, “You promise to let me go if I tell you?”

Bucky made a face, “I don’t think that’s the right term because you can expect more of me once you give me the password. But I’ll definitely step aside. That’s a promise.” He reassured.

“Promises are meant to be broken.” You stated.

“Yeah, well watch me prove you wrong. Password? Pretty please?” He asked cutely and fuck, Bucky was really winning you over just like that.

Letting out a defeated sigh, you tell him your name and number. Just as he promised, Bucky stepped aside and quickly fished out his phone to type in your number. You honestly didn’t expect for him to remember it after hearing it once, but you peeked and he actually did. Impressive.

“Like I promised, off you go to study.” He said and motioned his arm towards the front door.

You sighed and offered a small smile before finally walking past him. You were about to open the front door when Bucky beat you to it.

“I told you ‘let go’ is the wrong term ‘cause I’m walking you home tonight.” Bucky said. “And tomorrow night too. And the next night and the next next night. Or afternoon. Morning? Whatever time your classes finish.”

Bucky really proved you wrong that night because he did walk you home the next night and the next next night too. It went on until he no longer had to watch you enter your dorm or apartment because eventually, the two of you ended up going to the same home.

It’s very ironic really, that it was also Bucky who failed to prove you wrong when he broke his promise not to hurt you, ever. You wondered whether it was your fault that you actually believed in him. It was hard not to though, because Bucky’s earned your trust from all the promises he made and kept.

Which is why it was even more painful when one day, he decided to break the one promise you truly held on to.

“I’ll always love you, you know that right?”

Bucky blurted it out randomly that his statement confused the hell out of you. The two of you were just playing a video game when he said it, making you hit pause.

“And where did that come from?” You asked with amusement.

Bucky frowned, “You could’ve reacted differently. I was hoping for a high-pitched ‘awwww!’ and this is what I get?” He teased, taking your chin in between his index finger and thumb to pull you close so he could bite your nose playfully.

“You said it out of the blue!” You told him with a laugh. “But it made me happy though.” You admitted and kissed his cheek.

“Yeah, well it’s true. I mean, this thing we got? It’s forever.” Bucky said and lovingly smiled at you.

You pretended to gag at his words but it was obvious that you felt like you were on cloud nine when Bucky said that. “Cheeseballs!” You teased.

“This cheeseball’s gonna put a ring on that finger one day. That’s a promise!”

A finger snapped right in front of your face, “You good?” Nat asked.

You nodded and tried your hardest not to look at Bucky. He was seated with Steve, Sam and some other guys at the table next to yours. You could feel him staring at you and it was making you anxious.  Nat and Sharon exchanged looks before letting out a sigh in unison.

“Come on, I’m fine. Stop looking at me like that!” You told them with a forced chuckle.

“What did Bucky say?” Sharon asked. She’d seen Bucky approach you upon his arrival, saw the expressions you both had as you talked and knew immediately that it didn’t go well.

Nat hummed before taking a quick sip from her glass of wine, “We’ve been watching and we’re curious.”

“He was expecting for us to be friends.” You simply stated.

Nat and Sharon groaned and rolled their eyes, “What a dick.” Nat said.

“Men really do have the audacity.” Sharon laughed and shook her head.

You joined her laughter and lifted up your own glass of wine, “I’ll drink to that.” You said before finishing your drink in one go.

One glass of wine turned into two and then three and then four. Six drinks later and you were buzzed and unstoppable. You weren’t that drunk, you were good at handling alcohol but you were tipsy for sure. The formalities of the engagement party were finally done and the guests were left to mingle around.

Wanda and Vis immediately went to your table to catch up and after giving them your heartfelt congratulations (and apologies for missing out on plenty of events), you decided to step out of the venue to get some fresh air.

The silence allowed you to process your thoughts, the same thoughts you had repressed for years. You were happy for Wanda and Vis, truly. The two have been the epitome of soulmates and it was only right for them to end up tying the knot. But you also couldn’t help but wonder, would you and Bucky end up in marriage too had he decided to stay and work things out with you?

You lift up your left hand and stared at your bare ring finger. Just a few years ago, you’d been wearing a simple gold band studded with tiny diamonds around it— a promise ring. Bucky had given it as a gift on your 6th anniversary. You’d gotten together when you were just 19 and Bucky 21. People always doubted that your relationship with him wouldn’t last long given that the two of you were so different. Not to mention, Bucky had a reputation. Girls fawned over him; he was tall and handsome, had a rugged appeal to him thanks to his long hair and tattooed left arm. He drove a damn motorcycle that got him into trouble plenty of times.

You were Miss Goody Two Shoes who played it safe and Bucky was the Big Bad Wolf who liked taking risks.

It was a surprise when your relationship with him kept on progressing and the next thing you knew, the both of you have been together for a total of eight long years. It would’ve reached nine but shit happened and Bucky decided that those eight years didn’t matter to him anymore.

“Can we talk?”

If Bucky asked you that a couple of years ago, you would’ve probably punched him in the face and kneed him at the crotch before running away. Well, you still wanted to do so but a part of you wanted to talk things out. Get a proper closure maybe since Bucky failed to give you a detailed explanation that would help you understand why he chose to leave you.

Nat told you once that some things are better left unsaid. You spent years secretly pining for Bucky after the break up, spent nights questioning yourself where you lacked that made him leave you. You’d asked Steve about Bucky whether he met someone knew or how he was dealing with the break up; it did you more damage than good until you finally gave up and decided to actually move on.

But now that Bucky was here and there was no way to avoid him, maybe you deserved this confrontation after all.

“What do you want to talk about?” You asked, keeping your eyes on the pavement right in front of you.

You felt Bucky stand beside you, placing his hands inside the pockets of his jeans before turning to you, “About us.”

You snickered, “Us? What about us? What is there to talk about us?” You asked, turning your head to face him.

Bucky’s eyes have always been your favorite feature of his. They were very expressive and if Bucky could see through you every damn time, it was his eyes that you could always read. They were still blue but they held a certain emotion in them as he gazed at you.

Sadness and...regret?

Before your assumptions could get the best of you, you turned away and waited for Bucky to speak again.

“I can’t keep on avoiding you.” He said. “I’ve been doing so for the past few years and it kills me.” He admitted.

“And you think I want to keep doing this too? I’ve missed out on so many occasions because I just couldn’t be around you. You’re not the only one struggling.” You said.

Bucky shrugged, “Then let’s stop avoiding each other.”

The way he suggested it almost offended you; he was so nonchalant about it as if it was so easy to just let him waltz back into your life. Truth was, you dreamt of the day that he’d come crawling back to you. But you knew better than to let your walls down just because you miss him.

“When Steve told me that you seemed to be doing well, I really thought it meant that we can become friendly with each other, y’now. I mean, eight years. Those years meant so much to me, we’ve been through a lot and—“

“Are you fucking kidding me right now, Barnes?!” You bitterly chuckled.

“If those eight years together really meant a lot to you, you would’ve stayed. You would’ve allowed me to work it out with you! But what, you broke up with me because you thought I was too good for you? That you felt suffocated just because I was looking out for you?”

You didn’t mean to snap at Bucky like that, in your mind you thought you would be able to have a calm conversation with him. But with the alcohol running through your body, you couldn’t stop yourself from expressing yourself and and feeling the same way you did on that specific night.

“Too good? How am I too good for you, Buck?” You asked, immediately wiping off the tears that escaped your eyes.

“You have everything planned out! For yourself, for us. And it makes me feel fucking useless! I see you work your way up at your job and I’m still figuring out what the hell I want to do with my life!” He exclaimed.

You shook your head, “I didn’t know you felt that way.” You whispered. “If you told me this then I could’ve done something about it, Buck! Rather than let it get this far, I would’ve fixed it.” You told him and tried to reach out but Bucky took a step back.

“That too! You’re a fixer! You always end up fixing things. This relationship has become an endless cycle of me fucking up things and you picking up the pieces. And every single time you clean my mess, I feel like you’re hoping I’d be like the others. It’s like you’re trying to make me into a person I’m not just so I could fit this, this certain mold you had in mind!” He accused you.

You wiped again your tears and refused to believe him, “That’s not true, Bucky! I’ve always loved you for who you are, I never asked you to change for me!”

“Yes, you do! You never said it but I always felt it...when Steve got promoted and when Sam finally launched his business. You always wanted me to be like them, you never said it out loud but that’s what you made me feel whenever we talk about my job...or lack thereof.” He chuckled bitterly.

Bucky may not be traditional in the sense that he considered himself an artist. He never liked the idea of settling for a nine to five desk job so he took on a job as a tattoo artist. It wasn’t a permanent job and he didn’t have clients demanding for him all the time so it gave him time to work for a motorcycle shop too.

It was never a problem for you but practically speaking, your and Bucky’s joint savings wouldn’t be enough for the future that the both of you have planned out.

“I’ve been supportive of you! I never asked you to give up on those jobs, Bucky.” You defended yourself.

Bucky nodded his head, “You don’t know it but you do. That’s how I felt whenever you suggested that I try something else.”

“It’s because I know you can do so much more! Stay at the tattoo parlor and mechanic shop, then fine! But don’t settle because you have the potential to make it out there, that’s what I want you to know! I don’t understand why you’re limiting yourself, Buck. Why you’re suddenly so afraid.”

You carefully took a step closer to Bucky and thank god he let you this time. You swallowed the lump in your throat and reached out to cup his face in your hand. Bucky was livid, his chest rising heavily with every breath he took.

“You were the one who taught me to be brave, to take risks. I used to be so afraid, remember? Afraid to ride your motorcycle, to try out that job I thought I couldn’t handle. I was so scared to commit,” you chuckled, remembering how much you hesitated to give Bucky a chance when he asked you to be officially his girlfriend.

“...but you’ve always been there for me. And I want to do the same with you. I know that it seems scary to let go of what you believe is your calling. You don’t have to let go of it, Buck. But you gotta try something new too.” You said as you let your thumb caress the skin beneath his eyes.

There was silence between the two of you. Bucky had calmed down and you thought that it was over. Little did you know that it was simply the calm before the storm. Because the words that came out of Bucky’s mouth were the words you didn’t expect to hear.

“Well, this is me trying something new.”

Bucky refused to meet your gaze and simply let your hand move away from his face. You shook your head no as you turned around to compose yourself.

“We were fine this morning, Buck. What happened?” You asked and embraced yourself, seeking comfort you knew you’d only get if Bucky changed his mind.

“I thought we were fine too. But the tattoo parlor is closing in a month and we haven’t been getting plenty of clients at the motorcycle shop. And it just hit me y’now, I dread coming home to you because I know you’d be disappointed and that again, you’d offer to fix my shit and the thing is, I don’t want you to. I don’t want you to fix my shit or tell me how to deal with my problems! I woke up and realized that I just don’t...” Bucky paused when you swiftly turned around with a frown, eyes brimming with a fresh new wave of tears.

“Don’t say it, Bucky. I’ll be better, I promise! I won’t nag you or pressure you into anything. Just please, don’t say it. Please don’t. We can still work this out.” You begged Bucky.

You weren’t sure you could take it, what he wanted to say. You already knew what he was going to tell you, you didn’t want to hear it. Let other people say it but god, it’d break you if you heard it from him.

“I’m sorry but I don’t need you anymore.”

The stabbing pain in your heart felt so familiar, the kind that punched all the air out of your lungs. You thought you were done crying over Bucky, but you were so wrong.

“I fucked up.” Bucky huffed out, bowing his head as if ashamed.

“You realized that just now?” You snickered. “Do you know how long it took for me to get over you? To forget the pain from hearing you tell me that you don’t need me anymore? After eight years together, Buck. You were my first everything and you gave up on us. And you really expected us to be friends, just like that?!” You spat.

“I’m sorry!” Bucky exclaimed, lifting his head to look up at you and you were surprised that his eyes were glazed with tears.

“I was wrong, I was so fucking wrong. Because you were right, I shouldn’t have settled then. But god I was an idiot, an insecure idiot.” He admitted.

“I was so used to being the one who guided you that it fucking hurt my ego when I noticed that you were becoming your own person outside of our relationship. I was supposed to be the one supporting you, pushing you to be better. You ended being the one leading me. I let my ego get the best of me and thought I’d be better off without you. But it was the biggest mistake of my life because when I left, I felt even more lost.” Bucky explained.

You were left speechless, you weren’t sure why Bucky was telling you all this. Did he want you back or was he simply apologizing? You didn’t have words so you remained quiet and waited to see whether Bucky had more to say.

“I’m so sorry, I really am. I hurt you. I should’ve stayed, should’ve worked with you to fix our relationship. I hate what we’ve become, I sincerely wanted us to be civil with each other at least.” He said.

“Bucky, you’ve been saying the same thing over and over again. I’m not sure you understand the situation. I can’t be friends with you. Not after what happened. I thought I was fine but now I realized that I’ve never really moved on from the pain you caused me.” You told him and sniffed, looking back to check whether your friends could see you.

Thankfully, all the guests were still busy mingling with each other. It’s as if the universe meant for this confrontation to happen. But now you weren’t sure what to do after you finally got a clear explanation from Bucky.

“I wanted a fresh start with you.” Bucky said. “Thought that it would make it easier for me to win you over if we were friends again.”

You scoffed in disbelief, “It’s not that easy, Buck. I can’t just let you walk back into my life after your apology. It doesn’t work that way.”

You tried to move past him but he immediately blocked your way, “When I said I’ll always love you, I meant it. I still do. I want to make things right, please. Give me one last chance to fix this.”

Maybe it was the alcohol in your system, maybe it was Bucky’s words and how sincere he sounded that made your head spin. Your heart was racing and your palms turned cold. You wanted him back too, so bad but you weren’t sure if it was a good idea. He broke your heart and your trust, you weren’t sure if you’d survive if he left you again.

“I can’t continue this conversation, Bucky. I have to go.” You told him and made your way towards the door to the venue.

However, Bucky was quick to stand in front of the door. He had a determined look on his face, one that looked extremely familiar. You were still hurt but couldn’t deny the fact that you too, still love him.

Even after everything that had happened, Bucky still owned your heart.

“Bucky, can you please move? I want to go home.” You said and tried to reach for the door knob but Bucky moved and leaned against the door.

“You need a password to get through.”

You rolled your eyes, “We’re way too old for this, Bucky. I’m not playing with you.”

He shook his head, “I’m not playing either. Give me the password or else we’d be here the entire night.”

You huffed out, “This isn’t funny. Let me through.”

Bucky shrugged, “No can do. Like I said, I can do this all night.”

You deadpanned, “What’s the hint?” You asked with a defeated sigh, knowing well enough that there was no way you could walk past him without playing along with his stupid little game.

“Consists of three words.” Bucky said.

“Penis boobs vagina.”

Bucky cackled, “And I thought you said we’re too old for this.”

You groaned, “I’m serious, Bucky. Just let me go.”

“No. I made that mistake once and I’m not doing that again. I love you. And I promise that this time, it’ll be different. I know you still love me too, so again I am asking you to take a risk and say it.”

Bucky said it with conviction and you hated how it made your stomach flip. Up until this day, Bucky had a way to make you fold. And he could still read you.

“I’m not saying it, Bucky. How sure are you that I still feel the same anyway?” you asked.

Bucky tipped his head towards your neck, “Not sure if you just forgot but you’re wearing the promise ring as a necklace.”

Fuck. Of course, you’d forgotten about it. You may not have been wearing it on your finger, but you still continued to wear it. It meant a lot to you even after the break up, so much so that you couldn’t simply throw it away or remove it. You figured that it might be better to keep it around your neck. Out of sight, out of mind but still there. You wanted it to exist, it was a part of you.

“Say it and I promise that you won’t regret it.” Bucky insisted.

“Promises are meant to be broken. You proved that the night you broke up with me.” Your voice quivered when you said that.

“And I want to make it up for it for the rest of my life.” He reassured.

“History repeats itself. I don’t think I can deal with it again if you realized the second time around that you don’t need me. Buck, you really hurt me.” You said, voice cracking before you could even finish your sentence.

Bucky quickly took your face in between his hands and for some reason, it felt right. The warmth of his palm, the love in his eyes as he gazed at you, it felt like home.

“I know and I hate myself for it. So fucking much. But I promise you, it wouldn’t happen again. I fixed my life when you left, realized that you were right. I’m better now. So let me be the fixer this time, let me be the one to fix this mess, to pick up the pieces. Because I’m just as afraid to let you go again. I can’t do that again. I love you and I need you. I always did.”

The kiss he pressed on your forehead caused your walls to crumble down. All of a sudden you were sobbing into his arms and apologizing.

“I didn’t mean to pressure you then, Buck. I didn’t know, I’m sorry too.” You cried.

“Shh, no. Please don’t apologize.” Bucky coaxed as he pulled back to kiss your tears away. “None of this was your fault, baby. It’s all on me. Let me make it up to you, please?”

The term of endearment made your heart flutter and as much as you hated how Bucky easily won you over, again, the love you have for him was quick to outweigh it. You knew you shouldn’t have given in to him just like that, but this was Bucky. He was your greatest love, someone who owned your heart even after he left.

“I miss you, baby. Couldn’t fathom the thought of you being with someone else.” Bucky admitted as he hugged you tightly.

“I was so stupid, so fucking stupid. I hated myself for hurting you. I won’t do it again, I swear.”

His hand rubbed circles against your back, helping you calm down after your breakdown. He swayed you from side to side, pressed kisses on your crown and whispered promises that he was sure he was going to keep and you basked in it. When you finally calmed down, you pressed your face into Bucky’s neck and inhaled his scent.

He smelled the same, like comfort and love and trust. You hugged him tighter and smiled into his skin and mumbled, “I love you.”

Bucky chuckled, “You got the password right but I don’t think I’m letting you go just yet.”

“Nat and Sharon’s gonna kick our asses if they find out.” You chuckled.

He pulled back and stared at you lovingly, “I’ll take the hit for you.” he laughed.

“I’m sorry.” he mumbled again, caressing your cheek with his thumb.

“Forgiven.” You told him and stood on your tiptoes until Bucky bent down to meet your lips in a kiss.

You sighed into the kiss. Four and a half years of pain and anger all gone and replaced with the love you always had for Bucky. His lips against yours made you dizzy but in a good way.

It felt right, like this was how things were really supposed to be.

You pulled back and sighed, “As much as I want to stay like this, I’m really tired.”

Bucky let you go but took your hand in his, intertwining his fingers with yours. “I’m driving you home tonight.” He said.

You smiled.

“And the next night. And the next next night.”

Yet again, Bucky proved himself to be worthy of another chance. Because he drove you home the next night, and the next next night. It went on until he regained your trust back and all was well enough for him to finally reveal the black velvet box that he had been keeping in his pocket since the night of your eventful reunion.

“You need a password to see what’s inside.” Bucky grinned up at you as he bent down on one knee.

You chuckled through your years, “Any hint?”

“One word, three letters.”

You wiped away your tears with a smile followed by a subtle nod.

“Yes.”

Bucky kept his promise all along, he really did put a ring on your finger. Took quite a while with plenty of obstacles that caused its delay, but a promise fulfilled nonetheless.

-

Everything Bucky Tag List:

@ddowii @jessou893 @stealapizzamyheart @bagelofthelord @mxnt @dontputyourfckingdrinkonmytable @jeeperky @ohladymacbeth @wildflowergubler @supraveng @twinerd14 @buckysmar  @bakugouswh0r3 @sweetcoldharmony @wintersfilm @charminivy @amelia-song-pond @iamvalentinaconstanza @mcubqrnes

Sign up on my tag list here - https://forms.gle/b5haFXewSKqnXxxh7

[todorokibois]

Treat You Better - Shoto Todoroki X Reader

Song Fic - Based off of Treat You Better by Shawn Mendes (Which I normally would link but Tumblr’s being Shittyblr again and won’t show up in the tags if there’s a link 🙃)

Genre: Angst

Pairing: Shoto X Reader ft. Touya Todoroki (aka Dabi)

Words: 1,384

A/n: On this blog we love and support the Todoroki boys. Dabi is Touya, fite mii :) Anyways, my first post on this blog, just something I thought up today as I was listening to this song. Let me know what you think, I hope you all enjoy!

P.S. You can find more of my writing for K-Pop over on @mint-yooxgi​

There are three things Shoto knows now.

One, the moment he learned that you started dating his brother, a part of him had felt like it had died inside; A feeling of emptiness filled him. A feeling of longing that he couldn’t quite explain at first, no matter how hard he tried.

Two, he’s positive his brother doesn’t actually care about you. 

At first, maybe he did, given how happy the two of you looked together. However, as of late, he’s just not so sure. There have been too many times he’s come back home to hear your muffled sobs echoing through the walls, his brother nowhere to be found. He’s always the one who ends up going to comfort you for his brother’s mistakes.

And three, he is completely, and utterly, in love with you.

He doesn’t know how, or when, it happened exactly, but he remembers the night he realized it like it was yesterday. Oh wait, it was.

You had come back home shortly after nine in the evening, causing his head to dart up from the article he had been reading on his laptop. He found it strange that Touya wasn’t with you, considering the three of you live together in a shared apartment, but given the circumstances as of late, he wasn’t that surprised.

“I thought the two of you were going out for dinner?” He asks, brow furrowing in slight confusion.

You let out a sad sigh, “I had thought so, too.”

“What happened?” His voice is soft as he shuts the laptop, noticing how you kick off your shoes dejectedly.

“I-“ your breath hitches slightly, “I don’t know.”

Concern is written all over his features as he stands up and walks over to you, whom has not moved from your spot in the entranceway. You look at your feet, refusing to meet his gaze as he guides you to sit down on the couch. He can feel his heart physically pang in his chest as he watches the first of your tears slide down your cheek.

“We were supposed to go out for dinner tonight,” you manage to get out, and he nods, waiting for you to continue. “Since our anniversary is coming up al all.” Of course, how could he forget. “We agreed not to do anything too fancy, just a quiet dinner at our favourite restaurant. I waited two hours for him to show up. Two hours-“ you choke on a sob, “did he even care at all?”

Shoto doesn’t know how to answer you, because he’s not too sure himself. All he can do is grit his teeth in frustration at his brother for treating you like this, yet again. He decides wrapping you in his arms is a start, and pulls you into his chest for comfort, letting you sob, and get it all out of your system.

“That’s not even the worst part,” you admit, and you don’t register his hand gripping your shirt tighter. “Remember how my birthday was last week?”

“Of course,” he says, having a feeling he already knows where this is going, “how could I forget?”

You scoff, pulling away so you can wipe your eyes briefly, “well, apparently Dabi can.”

Shoto’s eyes widen slightly. You only ever use his brother’s nickname when you’re really upset. Although, he definitely doesn’t blame you. He always knew his brother was an asshole, but forgetting your birthday? 

That’s not even the best part. Besides not getting you a gift, and only giving you a half-assed apology, there have been other instances where Touya hasn’t been treating you like he should. Or at least, as well as Shoto knows you should be treated. How he would treat you, if only given the chance. He would give you the world, and everything in it, if you asked him to.

By now, this entire situation is getting ridiculous to him. The more he listens to you rant about the neglect his brother has been giving you recently, the more upset he gets for you. So much so, that by the time you’ve finished talking, his jaw hurts from clenching it so hard in anger.

“He doesn’t deserve you,” slips out before he can even process the words leaving his lips.

This causes you to laugh slightly, “yeah, tell him that.”

“Then why do you still stay with him?” He frowns. “You deserve better.”

“I know,” you sigh, your tears having stopped momentarily as you avoid his gaze, “but you have to understand, I love him, Shoto.”

He doesn’t think he’s ever a felt pain in his chest like this before as he hears you utter those words. A pain that starts from inside his heart and radiates outwards, spreading like a wildfire as it suffocates him from the inside out. 

He wants to scream. To yell at his brother for treating you this way. To tell you that he’s right here, and that he will always be right here for you. You’re everything to him, but he’s too late. You’re not his, you’re his brother’s. He stays silent, a torrent of emotions swirling in his eyes.

The both of you are interrupted by the sound of the front door opening and closing. You can hear your name being called faintly from the entranceway, so you quickly wipe away the rest of your tears and stand up. You notice the concerned glance Shoto sends your way, so you opt to send him a small reassuring smile in return. You’ll be okay, or at least that’s what you keep telling yourself.

“I’m here,” you call back, heading over to greet Touya as he walks in.

“I’m so sorry, babe, we got held up at work tonight,” he says, wrapping his arms around your waist and staring into your eyes. “I tried to call you, but you weren’t answering your phone.”

Sure enough, you had turned it off after leaving the restaurant, not wanting to be disturbed on your way home. You nod your head in understanding, and Shoto knows you’re too understanding for your own good.

“It’s alright,” you say, faking a smile that doesn’t quite reach your eyes. “You’re here now, aren’t you?”

“That I am,” Touya hums, placing a gentle kiss onto your forehead. “How about we go out for lunch tomorrow instead? I know it won’t make up for tonight, but I have the day off.”

“Okay,” you nod your agreement, before giving him a quick kiss on the cheek and heading off to your room for the night. After the evening you’ve had, you’re exhausted, wanting nothing more than to curl up and sleep.

The whole time, you fail to notice Shoto now visibly shaking with anger, now standing just in front of the couch, but his brother does. A smirk crosses Touya’s face as he sees his little brother fuming, brow quirking in amusement.

“What’s the matter, Shoto?” He hums, crossing his arms in front of his chest as he leans against the wall.

“Nothing,” Shoto hisses, hands balling into fists at his sides. How you can so easily forgive his brother for how he’s been treating you makes his blood boil. He doesn’t deserve you.

“Well, if that’s all,” Touya says, pushing off of the wall and heading in the same direction you went off in down the hall. “Goodnight, Shoto.”

Shoto watches his brother disappear down the hallway, jaw clenched in frustration. The fire burning in his eyes slowly dies out as he sits back down on the couch, head now resting in his hands as he lets out a sigh.

He loves you, and he wants you. He wants to know what it’s like to hold your hand, to see you smile just for him. He wants to know how it would feel to kiss you, to wake up beside you every morning with a smile on both of your faces. To be able to hold you when you cry, and celebrate your successes. To take you out to dinner and not have you wait two hours for him, and him having to apologize with some half-assed excuse later that evening.

He loves you, he knows that now, but it looks like his brother does, too.

[ironhusbandsbingo]

And our final roundup!

Title: Halves of a Whole Collaborator: newnewyorker93 Link: Tumblr Square Filled: B5 - Halves of a Whole Rating: Gen Major Tags: N/A Summary: A new Iron Husbands-themed felt sachet design using the War Machine and Iron Man armors! At the suggestion of some lovely people in the TSB server, I flipped the arc reactor colors at the center so that they have each other’s “hearts” 💙 Word Count: N/A

------------------------------------------

Title: Music Make You Lose Control Collaborator: Ducky Link: AO3 Square Filled: B4 - WTF Rating: Explicit Major Tags: Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Object Insertion Summary: Tony gets himself a speaker buttplug. How long before the Avengers can tell where the sound is coming from? Word Count: 892

------------------------------------------

Title: This Is Not Gardening (You Can’t Fool Me) Collaborator: Faustess Link: AO3 Square Filled: O3 - Post Canon: CACW Rating: Gen Major Tags: IronWarHawk, shapeshifters, sleepy cuddles, domestic fluff, Canon Divergence - Post-Captain America: Civil War, Cute Ending Summary: Tony and Clint are waiting for Rhodey to come back from his run. Tony's got an event later that day, but some things are more important than galas. Word Count: 1605

------------------------------------------

Title: The Prince and the Knight Collaborator: cami-chats Link: AO3 Square Filled: O3 - Bedtime Stories Rating: Teen Major Tags: MIT Era, Established Relationship Summary: Tony demands that Jim tell a story before going to bed, but he keeps interrupting. Word Count: 658

------------------------------------------

Title: My Very Own Tron Collaborator: cami-chats Link: AO3 Square Filled: B5 - Inside a Computer System Rating: Gen Major Tags: Established Relationship, Hijinks and Shenanigans Summary: Jim gets stuck inside Tony's computer, and he works on getting him out. Word Count: 584

------------------------------------------

Title: I die with variety Collaborator: simi Link: AO3 Square Filled: B2 - Multiple Orgasms, B4 - Bruises I1 - Out of Spoons I4 - Workshop Sex I5 - “I’d Kill for You” N4 - Forgiveness N5 - Howard Stark G1 - Tight Shirt O3 - Words Unsaid Rating: Explicit Major Tags: major character death, immortality in a way but it will end at some time, explicit sexual content. Summary: The first time that Tony dies, he is four and he’s building his very first circuit board from scratch. He’s connecting the finished product to the multimeter to check the voltage, the current and resistance, when a lead slips, a shock ricochets up through his spine, and he sees black. He’s on his back, when his eyes flutter open, and he’s staring up at the ceiling. He gets up, frowning, rubbing at his eyes, and then, he sees the frayed wire on the end of the multimeter. Huh, he thinks and moves on almost immediately. Word Count: 3992

------------------------------------------

Title: partner Collaborator: half wheeze Link: AO3 Square Filled: N2 - Study Partner Rating: Teen Major Tags: Alternate Universe - High School Summary: In which James Rhodes has 3 million things to do at school, and yet all of those things are interrupted when one thing comes into his life: Tony Stark, his new Fury assigned study partner. Word Count: 3322

------------------------------------------

Title: Birthday Pancakes Collaborator: newnewyorker93 Link: AO3 Square Filled: N3 - Free Rating: Gen Major Tags: Fluff and Humor, MIT Era Summary: Rhodey's first birthday at MIT, ft. a special treat from his chaotic roommate Tony. Word Count: 789

------------------------------------------

Title: to forgive is not to forget and sometimes you cannot do either Collaborator: halfwheeze Link: AO3 Square Filled: I2 - Forgiveness Rating: Gen Major Tags: Post - Captain America: Civil War Summary: Having meetings after the Civil War is essential if they want the Avengers Initiative to survive. That doesn't mean that Rhodey has to like it. Word Count: 1386

------------------------------------------

Title: Baby Let Me Swallow You~ Collaborator: J_Gun_i Link: AO3 Square Filled: N1 - Deep Throating Rating: E Major Tags: explicit deep throating Summary: Rhodey finally is seeing his boyfriend again. He had made plenty of plans, which got derailed the moment they eagerly pressed against each other.

Or-

Tony enjoys himself, especially with Rhodey kneeling in front of him. Word Count: 966

------------------------------------------

Title: credit differential Collaborator: halfwheeze Link: AO3 Square Filled: B2: Dum-E Rating: Gen Major Tags: MIT Era Summary: According to the newspaper, Tony Stark had invented Dum-E all by himself. That wasn't quite true, but he hadn't wanted to take all the credit either. Word Count: 1072

------------------------------------------

Title: The Day Rhodey Met the Captain Collaborator: J_Gun_i Link: AO3 Square Filled: B1 - Crossover Rating: Teen Major Tags: N/A Summary: When Rhodey came home, he was perplexed to say the least.

Tony explained his sudden brust of cleaning away with a simple phone call and some guests coming over.

No wonder that Rhodey was cautious when two men knocked on their door.

After all, someone that managed to get his boyfriend in a frenzy was in a position to hurt him. Word Count: 1849

------------------------------------------

Title: A Love That’s Insured Collaborator: Nathan Link: AO3 Square Filled: B3 - Bodyguard AU G3 - Howard Stark O3 - “I’m used to the pain” Rating: Teen Major Tags: Alternate Universe - Bodyguard, Alternate Universe - No Powers Summary: Apparently, people had tried to kidnap Tony one too many times and now Howard and Maria were pushing bodyguards on him left and right. As Howard had put it, the kidnappings “weren’t good for business,” but Tony thought this was taking it a stretch too far. Word Count: 1599

------------------------------------------

Title: Medical Suite Collaborator: MagicaDraconia16 Link: AO3 Square Filled: O3 - Doctor AU O2 - Wanda Maximoff Rating: Teen Major Tags: Humour, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously Summary: In today's episode: Tony Stark wakes up from his coma; Doctor Rhodes and Nurse Romanoff share a stolen moment of passion; and Wanda makes a mysterious phone call. Er, wait, that's not right... Word Count: 2173

------------------------------------------

Title: I’m Here for You Collaborator: J_Gun_l, honestmischief, Ducky Link: AO3 Square Filled: I1 - Howard Stark (J_Gun_l) B2 - Don’t Touch Him” (Ducky) N2 - Fireworks (honestmischief) Rating: Mature Major Tags: Child Abuse, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, child neglect, verbal abuse Summary: Rhodey knew that not all was good and dandy in the Stark household. Hell Rhodey saw the evident in the fall of Tony’s face after a call one too many times, in the way Tony sometimes wouldn’t sleep until something for SI was finished. But what happened on Tony’s sixteenth birthday took the icing of the cake. Word Count: 1963

------------------------------------------

Title: Wonders of Wakanda Collaborator: Honestmischief Ducky Link: AO3 Square Filled: B5 - Sharing Body Heat (Ducky) B5 - M'Baku (Honestmischief) Rating: Gen Major Tags: Established Relationship, Huddling for Warmth Summary: Rhodey and Tony explore the mountains of Wakanda. They get lost. Good thing a certain tribal leader happens to find them. Word Count: 1207

------------------------------------------

[ofgeneticperfection]

Scarlet’s chain of sweetness

Courtesy of  @madamdirectcr

5 THINGS YOU LOVE ABOUT YOUR CHARACTER.

1. Indomitable - She pretty much does what she wants, how she wants, whenever she wants. If she wants something? She manipulates her way into getting it. She doesn’t stop until she has it and hardly anything will sway her otherwise. She’s extremely hard to control when determined and set on a task in mind. She’s hard to control period. She’s got a streak of wild, impulsive, and loves to toy with others be it malicious or just to tease.  Her will is near impossible to break and she never believes that she can’t do something even if it is the impossible. Atop of that she’s fairly hard to defeat physically, she’ll bring more than a challenge if ever attack or if a loved one is ever hurt. I’m not saying that she can’t be brought down because she can, but it’s going to take more than a couple of hits.

2. Emotional Depth-  There’s not just one tier to Isrieal, there’s a million and it’s a labyrinth. She comes off as cold, arrogant, prideful but that’s the main wall that she hides behind. She’s strong and will exude complete confidence most of the time while being sly, cunning, coy, and whatever else she can throw at you. These are the emotions she shows to the world but the rest she’s buried so deep inside that she forgets they even exist. Inside she’s broken, sad, lonely, tormented but she has her ways of hiding them and biting back the pain that feeling these emotions brings. It’s from the conditions she’s been stuck in for her whole life at Hojo’s mercy and the lies she’s had to tell herself to make it easier to handle. Of course, this naturally makes her volatile with bursts of anger or other strong emotions and if she let’s one slip out they all come spilling out sooner or later. She does have a tendency to use special sedative injections to subdue these emotions whenever she feels any starting to well up. Deep under it all, however, she loves with all of her heart once she is sure that she will not be hurt. She’s always afraid of that in a way, but there is no in between. You have her all or you have her nothing. But once there she is quite passionate and protective and more soft and innocent then she’d originally lead you to think. 

3. Manipulative - Life is a game and she plays to win. At least that’s how one survives in ShinRa. She learned from one of the best manipulators out there and now she’s known to even manipulate the Professor himself. She rose herself from experiment to assistant Director by playing him and she plays everyone around as she sees necessary in order to get what she needs. She often shows what she wants to show and nothing more, near every move and every article of clothing is precisely calculated towards whomever she is meeting with. Of course, only if you don’t know her well. 

4. Deals with the Devil- Oh yes, she loves to make deals but don’t worry they’re mostly fair and she is one to keep to her word and her promises. Despite her demeanor she is quite loyal when she promises something. If you work out a trade or a bargain she’ll do her best to uphold her end of it, getting you what you want in return. There is a lot that can be traded between science and other departments after all and she’s not afraid to go behind the Professor’s back here and there if it means obtaining something she’s personally after in the end. 

5. A.I Alien - Lastly, yes I love the fact she is a hybrid and loves to play with quantum theory and A.I in the future. I always love the sci-fi aesthetics and concepts and the idea of something beautiful having a monster inside. She’s at conflict with this part of herself, often not knowing how to fully accept it but at least she is in control of the cells and not the other way around. She’s also always been focused on uploading consciousness and prolonging and bringing others back to life since she doesn’t age. It’s from there that she gets pulled into quantum theories and eventually breaks through to a system A.I that she makes a deal with to her own advantage, but this is a plot I haven’t touched in a while. Really I love everything about her but these are some fun and dominating concepts. 

5 PEOPLE ON HERE YOU LOVE, AND WHY.

1. @animus-inspire Where do I start? Seriously. This was unexpected but yet one of the best things that has ever happened in my writing history. I love love love this ship and all the AU’s of it so much! And beyond that, it’s so rare to get me to talk a lot but I can’t seem to ever shut up around you xD. But, I LOVE talking to you and the connection we have and the fact that we have so many stinking ideas all the damn time and they all get played off each other so easily and that we can share the same obsessions and YES WHAT HAVE YOU DONE! But you are also one of the sweetest and most full of life people I know on here and I absolutely love writing with you, you’ve made it so great :3. And you are seriously best Reeve and have made me love all the Reeve. <3

2. @thefirstthaumaturge I’ve known you for about like, well.....well over 10 years xD And I love you more as the years go on. We’ve survived drama days together and now we can laugh about all the stupid RP stuff we did in the past. I also enjoy all of our new RPs and how great its been to see both our OCs grow and thrive in these communities. I also super love talking to you and playing video games with you and watching WestWorld and movies with you. Basically, you make everything super fun and I don’t know what I’d do without you around. I also love how we always manage to say/type the same things at the same time all the damn time xD Digital sisters but its as real as it gets. 

3. @shinraweirdscience @xbroken-science @insidious-scientist  I love all of my Hojo’s that deal with Izzy’s crazy ass and put up with me so thank you guys! I’m always down for crazy plots and all the trauma that comes with them so don’t ever feel bad about throwing anything at me or damaging Izzy. It’s what makes her her after all. And I find it all a lot of fun. I’m always ears for ideas so let me know!

4. @sadistic-second I don’t write a whole lot with you here but you’re always good company in the voice chats and you make playing games a lot of fun as well. I like our little group we have going on to do all the stuffs. I love all the gifs and icons you make, and the paracord is very creative as well. It’s always cool to see what you can do. Of course I like all the funny things too.   @apathetic-ruler  I have to say you’re writing is amazing, I love it! I haven’t wrote with your Ru but I love past life Ru xD One of these day’s I’ll figure out what to do with a Rufus I’m sure. 

5. @ivory-paragon We don’t write much but I love playing FFXIV with you and being in all your groups. It’s a very fun and enjoyable atmosphere and you make me laugh all the time. If I hadn’t found you I wouldn’t have found any of this awesome community and my great shippy ships that have come out of it. @rikelusshinra I love all of our RP’s and stuff too. You have a super amazing OC that seems to fit right in and I’ve loved writing with Rike. Even if you are busy now. It’s rare Izzy finds ships that work but you are one of those lucky ones that she fits well with and I love all the ideas we play with as well. So to my FFU peeps! Even if we don’t write on tumblr much I still love you both. 

Honorable mentions:

@cinderella-gurei God, you are the best Chadley and you break my damn heart all the time in our RPs. Izzy will never forgive herself completely but she’s glad to have you around and so am I! She will protecc forever. <3 

@madamdirectcr I love your Scarlet! I want to see what happes :3  @makeupandmateria Another lovely Scarlet I had to mention as well!

5  SONGS EITHER YOU OR YOUR MUSE REGARD AS A ‘GUILTY PLEASURE’ THAT ALWAYS MAKES YOU SMILE.

So okay, I’ve thought about this all day and I’ll do a few categories. Since I revolve around music so heavily and no lie have hundreds of my own music videos in my head for every song I’ve ever heard, yes I’m one of THOSE people. xD

So I’ll start with what I’ve been listening to lately that really fits in with WestWorld Izzy and Logan!Reeve ShinuestiLos xD I can’t seem to get Poker Face out of my head for her and a couple other Lady Gaga songs that fit in  Like this one too. 

Also I really love these songs but they are so random. This one mostly thanks to ARI, but I can never not listen to it when it comes on. Also Mortal Kombat. This song makes me so fired up every time I hear any variation of it xD. Even now! alkdjfsldjfsdljf, but I do really like this mix. 

Then we can’t forget those emo day songs. Mr. Brightside is one I can never resist singing. It’s just so damn good! Then there is Holiday by Greenday and can’t forget Miss Murder by AFI xD 

Now I have an extremely long list of electronic type, synth, darkwave, trance, whatever the heck categories they fall under that I just like to call my Robot music xD  Here’s a couple with AI themes that I’ll just throw out here. We Appreciate Power and quite literally A.I 

And lastly this one reminds me of Midgar so much and Izzy, but I always see her singing this if she ever made a music video. (which apparently she’s made many) But she’d definitely be in front of wall sized windows with Midgar in the background and the labs, and its also why she sometimes refers to it as Electric City, idk who the guy would be singing with her but if you want it to be you just let me know? Lol.  After all she is Indistinct. Ill Defined. Uncontrolled. Unconfined. 

Tagged by: @animus-inspire (this took me forever Reeeeeve x.x) 

Tagging: @thefirstthaumaturge

[destieldrabblesdaily]

hello there (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ I'm pretty new to destiel and just found your blog because I wanted to look into some fanfics and someone recommended & turns that you have like a billion one shots for destiel! love your writing style but, I'm not sure where to start in your drabbles tag because it's soooo much (ﾟдﾟ) can u maybe point me to some popular ones or some that you preferred writing or something like that to get me started? thank you anyway (ʘ‿ʘ)ノ✿

Hey friend! 

Ahh, I totally get you. :p A billion is a bit ambitious, but with like 400 stories in one tag and no way to sort, it might get tricky. *sweats nervously for not having a better tagging system*

But anyway, you rock for finding my blog and liking my style, so here is a little something to help you out! For starters, a lot of my stories are also on AO3, which is still a realm of chaos, but is a hell of a lot easier to navigate than my tumblr tag. 

Anyway, here is a little map to get you started, sorted by my most popular Destiel fics (according to AO3), and ones I personally just loved writing!

—

Canon!Verse fics, most popular:

1) CursedTeam Free Will is hunting a witch, but before she dies she turns Cas into a kitten. They can’t find a cure, and after two weeks everyone is losing hope. One night when Cas is sleeping on Dean’s chest, the curse fades and he turns into himself again. As Dean’s luck would have it, Sam walks into the living room seeing Dean sprawled out on the couch with a very naked Castiel on top of him.

2) JealousyWhen Dean, Sam and Castiel are having a drink at a bar after a hunt, Dean finds Cas flirting with a guy, and suddenly realizes something about his own feelings for the angel… 

3) Dream A Little DreamCastiel goes after a Djinn but gets captured, and of course his dream world is all about Dean and him being happy together, so he’s very disappointed when Dean and Sam save him and he wakes up… 

4) With A Little Help From My FriendDean is really nervous about finally telling Castiel how he feels, so he practices over Skype with Charlie. Naturally, Cas chooses that exact moment to drop by, and ends up hearing the whole thing…

5) WhiteboardFor a while now, there has been a whiteboard in Dean’s room. When failing to say the words out loud, there’s always the option to write them down. So that’s exactly what Castiel suggests, and Dean humors him, the two of them finding new ways to understand and forgive each other by working through some issues from both the present and the past.

—

Soulmate AU’s, most popular:

1) What Can’t Be SeenSoulmate AU where you first see color after eye contact: Cas is a famous best selling author and he’s promoting his book, so he’s talking to a crowd of people and suddenly his world is in color, and a lot of his fans pretend to be his soulmate. A Cinderella type situation ensues.

2) The PendantAU where instead of a tattoo/name everyone’s born with a pendant/charm necklace that matches their soulmate’s. Dean walks into their bathroom thinking it’s empty, but there’s Cas taking off his shirt to take a shower and Dean sees his necklace (that matches Dean’s, obviously) and freaks out (because Dean is totally 100% NOT gay at all). Bonus if Cas already knows.

3) Daffodils & Forget-Me-NotsSoulmate AU where when you write something on your skin with pen/marker/whatever the hell you want, it will show up on your soulmate’s skin as well.

—

High School AU’s, most popular:

1) No HomoFor the prompt: ‘I wasn’t gay, but then I kissed you in front of some homophobes to piss them off, and turns out I might be kinda gay for you after all’. In which a kiss makes Dean realize that he has feelings for his best friend.

2) This Game We PlayDean and Castiel have been best friends since they were little, and sleepovers are a common event. They’ve always loved playing the game where they draw out letters on each others backs and try to guess what the other is writing. Even though sixteen seems to be a bit too old to still play the game, Castiel uses it as a chance to silently confess something that he’s been wanting to share with Dean for a long time.

3) Camping and CuddlesDean and Castiel have been best friends since forever, and they decide to go on a camping trip to celebrate graduating high school. When it starts raining and Cas’ tent turns out to have a huge hole in it, the boys are forced to share Dean’s tent, and things heat up.

4) The CallCastiel accidentally butt dials his best friend Dean, and Dean overhears a conversation that wasn’t meant for his ears. Or: the one in which Dean finds out that his best friend has feelings for him.

5) Practice Makes Perfect‘It’s not gay if it’s practice, but shit that was actually really nice wanna practice some more?’ Or, the one in which Dean offers to help his best friend Cas improve his kissing skills, until it’s no longer just ‘practice’. 

(If you are particularly into High School AU’s, I also made a complete list of al my HS AU’s that you can find here –> Click!

—

College/Roommate AU’s, most popular:

1) What It MeansDean’s roommate and best friend Castiel always says ‘I love you’ to him every night before they go to sleep. Seeing as Dean has some serious feelings for his friend, he can’t take the confusion any longer and one night asks Cas what it means when he says ‘I love you’. 

2) If At First You Don’t SucceedFor the prompt: “Wait, did you just flirt with me?“ “Have been for the past year, but thanks for noticing.

”Dean has a huge crush on his friend Castiel, with whom he also shares an apartment. When he decides that he finally wants to woo Cas, everything that could possibly go wrong, does indeed go wrong.

3) UnbrokenDean’s best friend and roommate Castiel is asexual, and it’s causing Cas a lot of trouble when it comes to dating. Cas feels broken, but Dean deeply disagrees; he’d be with Cas in a heartbeat, if only Cas would see him as more than a friend… 

4) Safe And SoundFor the prompt: ‘College!AU where Dean and Cas are roommates and one of them is afraid of thunder, so naturally they have to huddle/cuddle together until the storm is over.’

5) Hot & ColdDean and his best friend Castiel get stuck in the middle of nowhere when the Impala’s engine gives up on them. A snowstorm is raging, and it seems that the only way to keep warm is a method that sounds a lot like ‘naked cuddling’. Not that Dean is complaining.

—

Blind/Deaf AU’s, most popular:

1) Through Your EyesDean’s best friend Castiel is blind, which is why Cas loves it whenever Dean describes the things as he sees them. When Castiel gets curious and wants more details about Dean’s looks, Dean is reluctant to go into detail about them. Castiel’s solution is simple, and demands nothing more than a gentle touch.

2) At First SightDean has been blind since he was four years old, but at 18 years old he regains his sight through special surgery. This also means that he will finally be able to actually see his boyfriend Castiel for the first time. Castiel is excited, but at the same time utterly terrified that Dean won’t approve of his looks…

3) MisunderstandingsWhen the handsome new student Castiel Novak arrives at Lawrence High, Dean has every intention of making him feel welcome. However, Castiel seems to ignore Dean whenever Dean tries to talk to him…

4) DeliciousImagine your OTP, based on this text post: ‘Okay, so I’m a waitress at this restaurant that’s open really late and it’s nearly 1am and this family comes in and I’m so tired that I handed their BLIND SON a menu and he’s like “ah… thank you… I’ll just… read this” in a serious voice and I fucking snorted.'With blind!Dean and waiter!Cas.

—

Personal favorites to write:

1) Her Favorite Love StoryThe story of Dean and Castiel as seen through Mary Winchester’s eyes; AKA how she witnesses her oldest son fall in love with his best friend. 

2) The MatchmakerBased on this prompt: “My cat keeps breaking into your apartment next to mine, so I tied a note to its collar to apologize, and you write back. We keep exchanging cat notes, and you turn out to be pretty cute.” 

3) WingsWhen ten year old Dean Winchester and his family move to a new town, he becomes best friends with the boy next door, who happens to be an actual angel. Dean is fascinated with Castiel’s wings from the start, however when they get older, Cas suddenly starts hiding them and no longer wants Dean to groom them for him.

4) BlackboardsFor the prompt: 'Dean and Cas are both high school teachers, and they leave each other cute notes on each others’ black boards.’

5) To Date a DickCas is out on a date with a complete and utter asshole in a really nice restaurant, and Dean is their waiter who feels the need to intervene.

6) Angel Grace (2 Parts)Dean Winchester loves going to conventions to meet the cast of his favorite TV show 'Angel Grace’. Aside from being good at his job, lead actor Castiel Novak is charming, handsome, and has a heart of gold. Like many fans, Dean has a serious crush on the guy. However after meeting Castiel several times, it’s starting to look like Dean’s crush isn’t as one sided as Dean had always assumed it was.

—

Holiday Specials:

❄ Destiel Drabbles: December/Christmas Edition Fluffy Christmas-themed Destiel stories to warm the cockles of your heart during the cold December days! 

❄ All I Want For ChristmasDuring a big family get together, a drunk Castiel starts singing ‘All I Want For Christmas Is You’ to his best friend Dean while the whole family watches.

🕷Destiel Drabbles: Halloween EditionSome fluffy Halloween themed Destiel drabbles. Happy Halloween!

🕷Kiss Or TreatCastiel has been dutifully handing out Halloween candy all night, entertaining the many kids ringing the Novak house’s doorbell, but he’s in for a big surprise when the bell rings once more and it’s his crush Dean Winchester suddenly standing there on his front porch…

🕷Of Holding Hands and Haunted HousesFor the prompt: 'You’re scared of haunted houses and Halloween attractions, and I don’t even know you but your friends left you behind (what dicks) so I’m gonna hold your hand and get you through this, alright?’

♥Valentine’s DayFor the prompt: 'Cas anonymously sending Dean one of those school Valentine’s Day flowers with a little personalized note, thinking that someone as popular as Dean won’t notice his message anyway because he gets so many. Little does he know that Dean sent one to him as well…’

—

If you feel like reading a multi-chapter Destiel fic, I wrote one of those as well: 

Fortune CookiesDean and his best friend Jo own a bakery together. When a salesman named Crowley visits Dean to make a deal, Dean has no idea of the consequences, and his world turns upside down when an actual angel literally crashes into his life. For the first time in his thirty-year-existence, Dean is overwhelmed by real companionship, wings, and most of all… love.

—

Or for easily reading and clicking through short fluffy (mostly canon!verse) Destiel stories, go here:

~ 100 Days of Destiel Drabbles ~

Or here: 

~ 30 Days of Destiel Drabbles ~

—

Hope this was helpful, and happy reading! :D (I really need to become a better tagger, ahum. :p)

[mysteli]

someone you loved (chris x mc)

A/N: ok so I’m not really sure how to label this fic but it’s angsty most of the time so let’s go with that. just had a really emotional idea and needed to get it out there

Warning: Angst

Recommended music: someone you loved by lewis capaldi

Words: 3675

PERMA TAG LIST: @brightpinkpeppercorn​@cocomaxley​@hopefulmoonobject@alesana45 @jellybean-marshmellow@mymandrake@regrettingnathan@dobie2112@princessstellaris@mechaspirit@skyila @mind-reader1  @xo-endlessmayhem-xo@sakaily@justboredtrash@regina-and-happiness@annekebbphotography. @endlessly-searching-for-you@reginasayeed@abbiebishops@zigortega4life@eileendannie@diamondoasis@speedyoperarascalparty@emomoustache@lostlightningbug@endlesstaylormckenzie @alekai-sayeed@akrenich@vickypoo91@nitta-jaeguet@femmeshep @hayden-park@mkatschoicesblog

This fic: @flowerpowell @eadanga @choicesfan44 @chris-powells-girl @am-i-invisible777 @the-soot-sprite @maxattack-powell

Let me know if you wanna be tagged! 💗and let me know if the tags work because Tumblr is acting up.

Summary: When Chris receives some dreaded news, distant regrets finally come to haunt him and not even Aria is sure she can help him recover

Masterlist

THE COLLEGE YEARS FAN FICTION SOMEONE YOU LOVED

Bombarded by the weight of the shopping bags in her grasp, Aria stumbles into the apartment, sweat greasing her forehead as she releases a sigh of relief, happy to finally be back home. She enters the apartment, shutting the door and dropping the bags on the nearest counter. She’s been out of college for about two years now, her and Chris have been having an enjoyable life so far and they expect good things in their future. In fact, they do have much to look forward to, with their wedding date finally in tact and they’re set to wed in six months time. Of course, Aria is thrilled she can finally unite officially with the love of her life. It’s truly a dream come true for her and Chris and she suspects their life together can only get more amazing from here.

Scanning the apartment carefully, Aria searches for her boyfriend of over six years. Well, fiancé really and for some reason, she still finds that overwhelming to say. Brushing off her sudden nerves, her face lights up for a second when she spots Chris on the couch but then the excitement dies immediately at his damaged demeanour. He’s positioned on the couch, his hands clenched into fists and his expression as blank as they come. A conflict is clearly playing out on his features, almost as if he’s trying fill the empty spaces in his mind. However, his sapphire eyes drop the idea that he’s also about to over-flood with tears. In his current state, not even Aria can tell what he’s thinking. 

With comforting intentions, Aria tries to make her presence known to Chris by tapping her feet more loudly against the floor as she approaches him. Problem is, he doesn’t look up, his eyes burning into the floorboards but it’s obvious he still knows she’s there. A deep sigh practically falls out of his mouth like it’s nothing and Aria runs a hand through her dark brown hair, unsure what to do for a moment.

In the end, she decides to play this out like she usually would when Chris is down. Warily, she takes a seat beside him on the couch and wraps her arms around his shoulders. This usually gives him a wake up call and his body reacts to her touch the way it usually would. Chris’ breath hitches a little but his body only seems to tense up even more, his gaze never daring to tear away from its position on the floor.

It’s almost like Chris is in a whole other world. Upon that, Aria leans in so her mouth is hovering near his ear, her heavier breathing grazing the skin. Only now does she realise how much he’s shaking. Who knows how long he’s been this paralysed and irresponsive? Hell, the more important wonder is what made him this way? Aria has never seen Chris in an emotional state as severe as this before. For once, she doesn’t exactly know how to help him.

Aria plays out her first words in her head a few times, planning them out as carefully as she can. She knows how delicate Chris’ feelings can be when he’s in a similar state like this but Aria can actually sense more risk to what she could say than normal.

With that, she takes a shot in the dark and speaks. “Chris...” is all she manages to say, her voice a mere whisper and so quiet that the rest of her words she planned to say aren’t even able to leave her mouth. 

Chris remains still, causing Aria to drift her arm over his shoulder and around his neck, stroking the skin of his collarbone but he barely reacts, tilting his head ever so lightly that she manages to catch a glimpse of the pain hidden in his sapphire eyes. 

“Chris.” Aria tries again, more firmly this time and Chris just so happens to look up on this attempt, now staring forward now and it’s becoming more obvious that he’s trying to avoid his girlfriend’s gaze, knowing his vulnerability will immediately fall out of him if he does.

Annoyance edges towards Aria’s veins and she moves her hand further up Chris’ neck until its gripping his chin. She tilts his face to look directly in her hazel eyes and she’s almost shocked by the amount of depression trapped inside his pupils. It’s painfully obvious that he’s trying to sustain his composure and keep all the tears of his negative emotions locked away. But Aria knows how to break that defence system. It’s one of the reasons why she’s so necessary too him. 

“Baby... what’s wrong?” Aria transitions her tone into something more soft, loosening the firmness of her grasp of his chin and trailing one finger of his jaw, changing directions a few times but entwining both hands behind his neck. 

Chris refuses to respond, showing his denial by shaking his head at her as idly as possible. “I... I don’t wanna talk about it.” Despite his dismissive response, Aria is still relieved to hear him speak for the first time after this unbearable silence. 

“Chris... you’re shaking. What happened?” Aria asks in her usual gentle tone that comes so easy to her now and she knows when and how to use it. Every time it proves affective. She knows her care by massaging the skin at the back of Chris’ neck and leaning in to plant a soft kiss to his cheek. He’s slightly soothed by her touch and he bites her lower lip nervously.

“...It’s just some news I got today but... you don’t need to worry about it. It probably shouldn’t matter anyway.” Chris points out but it’s almost like he’s trying to reason with himself rather than Aria, who can easily argue that he’s stretching the truth, especially as his eyes water with clear depression. Perhaps even... grief. 

“Babe, if it’s hurting you, then it fucking matters.” Aria counters, cupping his cheek comfortingly and running a hand through his hair. Her fingertips graze the skin of his face and she knocks their foreheads together tenderly and looks Chris dead in the eyes, forming a solemness she rarely ever uses. “Tell me what’s going on, Chris. Please... you’re starting to scare me.”

With that, Chris senses his denial slowly slipping away, as does his collectiveness. The walls he built start to crumble and he grips onto the hand Aria has moved to rest on his shoulder so desperately that it’s like he needs a sudden source of extra support for what he’s about to reveal. Courage is what he doesn’t have much of at this time but he’s got no more energy to push away the love of his life.

“...It’s my dad.” Chris hints, startling Aria at the mention of such a distant memory. She leans away from him and eyes him with an understandable confusion, not sure why such a man would become a conversation topic after all this time trying to forget him.

“Your... dad?” A lightbulb suddenly goes off in Aria’s head. “Wait... he’s not back again, is he? Not after four goddamn years? Chris, it shouldn’t even be a question if he’s asked for your forgiveness again. You owe that man nothing.”

Chris shakes his head at her assumption, more tears threatening to spill from his eyes. “See, the thing is... I don’t think he’ll ever have a chance to come back now because he’s...” He trails off, not enough strength built up to want to finally admit it out loud, especially to himself. With that, Chris reaches his breaking point and a river explodes down his features, causing Aria to grasp him as quickly as she can and let him pour out his heart and soul into her shoulder. She’s not even affected by the fact that he’s soaking her shirt right now. In a situation like this, who would have the courtesy to care about such a meaningless thing when someone else is put under such emotional torture like this?

Aria hasn’t even had a moment to process the news, even as she cradles her fiancé in her arms and buries her face in his hair, stroking his back and easing his heavy breaths as a rare vulnerability sparks within him. Can this really be true? Is it possible that after all this time... Chris’ father is really... gone? It’s guaranteed that this would kill Chris the most inside because it’s his father and he’s the one who tried so hard to see the good in who was obviously a lost cause to begin with? Chris never wanted to see his own father as a bad man and if he did, he’d never forgive himself.

Chris barely remembers the last time he saw his dad. During sophomore year, when he turned him away and told him to never come back, completely distancing himself from the past pain and focusing on the present. If he could go back in time and make a different decision, he’d honestly do the same thing but maybe not shut his dad out as quickly as he did.

None of that matters anyway because all his mind holds is regrets. Regrets that could easily have been hiding out until this day finally came and they are prepared to ruin Chris’ state of mind and being his guilt levels to the peak. 

After a tense silence, with only the sound of Chris’ pained sobs being heard, he finally lifts his head but doesn’t remove his gaze from the floor. His hand roams back and forth along Aria’s arm and she can’t help but let out a breathy sigh at the impact on his touch. He’s almost comforted by the sound and he grazes his hand from her wrist all the way to her fingertips, his touch light and gentle. Tears begin to dry on his cheeks and Aria can tell he’s trying to distract himself from the agony exploding inside of him. He’s looking for a way to escape it, not willing to accept there isn’t a way out.

With that, Aria cups his face and forces him to look at her, her hands carefully outlining his fallen features and sympathising with him in every way possible. “Baby... I’m so sorry.” She finally whispers, joining their foreheads and her reassuring intentions instantly shine through and Chris knows he should be grateful. He shudders when she entwines their fingers and tugs his lower lip between his teeth. He falls into a state of contemplation and Aria can practically see the debate playing out in her fiancé’s mind. “...How did it happen?” 

Chris sucks in a sharp breath before he dares to ask, seeming as though he’s looking through Aria rather than at her. “...Car crash. He died on the way to the hospital. The hospital are the ones who called me.” He struggles and stutters as he speaks but he’s relieved when he finally gets the right words out. So many emotions are swirling around his mind and he can’t even really choose one to label what he’s feeling right now. It isn’t describable. When a significant part enters his mind, Chris hangs his head and tears swell in his eyes again. “The worst part is... they told me that... my dad was asking for me in the ambulance... and he wanted them to tell me that... he was on his way back to Hartfeld to... make things right.” With that, Chris almost breaks down again, barely able to maintain his composure and Aria swiftly wraps him in a hug, burying her face in his shoulder.

“Chris... you know this isn’t your fault, right? Your dad made the mistakes he did and maybe he just had his wake up call too late.” Aria tries to be honest with Chris, even if the truth can be brutal at times. He always appreciates honesty.

Chris glances up and nods with determination. “Yeah. You’re probably right but... he did still try to make things right. And that... cost him his life.” It’s painfully clear that Chris is trying to avoid placing the blame of his deceased father and torturing himself with the guilt himself. But Aria won’t let him think for a second that any of this is his fault. Because it’s impossible for it to be.

“Baby, no.” Aria tells him firmly, leaning away from the hug and eyeing him dead in the eyes once more, making sure he processes every single word she says. “This isn’t your fault. You had no control over this. No one did. It was just an accident that shouldn’t have happened... but it did. And we have to focus on the reality, ok? I’m sorry if I’m pressuring you but... you’ve just gotta admit it to yourself.” 

Chris exhales sharply, understanding what she’s saying but doubting his own ability to complete it. “What if I can’t do that? What if my father wants me to just live in denial?”

“Why would your father want you to pause your entire life only to hold off remembering him? I’m sure he’d want you to honour his memory by being the successful man your dad always dreamed you’d become.” Aria assures, moving off the couch and positioning herself on the floor, on her knees, facing Chris and forcing him to look her in the eyes again. She notices how her words are affecting him but she can’t tell if it’s a positive or negative reaction. It’s like he understands but he still refuses to let it sink in.

“Maybe but... what if I can’t honour his memory? I mean... maybe I shouldn’t be too worried about what my dad would think of me if he actually got to me and never... crashed.” 

“I’m sure he’d be so proud of you seeing the man you’re becoming.” Aria whispers, planting a slow, sweet kiss on his lips and letting it linger but he barely returns it, as much as he wants to show more agreement. 

“But... I feel like my dad always expected the most of me, even if he wasn’t around for half my life. I always had a voice telling me to make him proud, no matter how angry I was at him. That voice started getting louder when he left in Sophomore year. For the second time, I felt like the burden of having his approval came back and I... I haven’t been able to get rid of it.” Chris pours out his heart and soul as he speaks, as Aria rests her hands on his thighs and scoots closer to him, studying the pain in his muffled expression intently. Strands of his light brown is falling over his sapphire eyes and the glow that once lied within them is almost completely gone, taken over by an unavoidable amount of grief that could be seen from a mile away. 

No matter how much his words deny it, his expression says it all.

“I love you. Your mother loves you. Your siblings love you. Your friends love you. And I know, your father loved you, more than anything. That’s why he kept coming back because he wanted you to be the man that he never had the chance to be because of the mistakes he made and he doesn’t want you making the same ones. So listen to me...” Aria cups Chris’ face and leans in so their foreheads knock together. “The first step is getting through this process, ok? You just lost a parent. That’s a huge deal and I want you to take it in, process it... and accept it. Please... I don’t want this denial hanging over your shoulders. I get that it’s hard but... it’ll help you take a step closer to closure. I promise.” 

Chris remains still for a moment, running a hand through his hair out of stress and entwining his hands at the back of his neck. He really wants to believe Aria when she says time will heal the wounds of grief but at the same time, Chris has never been the type to live with pain so easily. He’s a dismissive type of person and he would never want to admit the loss he’s experienced today. It’s just too huge.

Aria hangs her head sheepishly when Chris stays silent for a long time. After a long moment of contemplation, she lifts her head and releases a soft exhale, slight hesitancy filling her tone the next time she speaks. “Chris... I just want you to know that if this is too hard for you... we can postpone the wedding until you...” Aria trails off, uncertain what else to say as her own eyes overwhelm with tears. She’s willing to do anything to make Chris’ life the best it can possibly be and she’s not happy when he’s not happy. So if he’s guaranteed to still feel grief on their wedding day, Aria will wait until that grief has cleared, as long as it takes. 

Chris is a little taken aback by her suggestion and he grips her chin with his first two fingers, scanning her face with a puzzled look crossing his features. “I... I don’t wanna postpone it.” He replies, sounding more sure than he has in this entire conversation. He takes Aria’s hand and plants a soft kiss on her knuckle.

“But Chris... your dad...”

“I know and I’ll be honest... this is gonna take me a fucking while to get over but... nothing is gonna stop me from marrying you, Aria.” Chris assures, kissing the top of Aria’s forehead but she still doesn’t appear convinced of his sudden certainty.

“But babe, I don’t the reminder of your dad being gone haunting you when it’s supposed to be the happiest day of your life.” 

“I get what you’re saying but that feeling’s gonna be there either way. And I know I’ll feel a million times better on our wedding day because I’ll finally know that it’s the day I get to spend the rest of my life with you.” Chris whispers, bringing Aria in for a reassuring kiss. She forms a shy smile that doesn’t completely reach her lips and when he pulls away, he notices how unsure she remains. “Whats wrong?”

“I’m just worried about you. Your dad made so many mistakes yet this is the most hurt I’ve ever seen you. He really meant more to you than you ever really thought and it’s... a shame you didn’t get the chance to tell him that.” Aria admits, noticing how Chris nods timidly in reaction, seeming to know exactly what she’s talking about. 

“I know. I should’ve done better. Guess that may be one of the reasons why the news hit me so hard.” Chris appears to be talking more idly now and his composure is returning to him. Maybe now he’s finally resisting control and accepting what’s happened.

“...How do you feel? Really?” Aria dares to ask, stroking his face with the back of her hand and only now noticing how much sweat from the nerves have creased his skin.

Chris keeps a firm grip of Aria’s hand, needing her support for how he might respond. He rubs circles over her knuckles with his thumb, contemplating intently. “Honestly... I’m not sure how i feel. It’s all just... really overwhelming. I guess, somewhere down the line, I figured... everything would work out. He’d suddenly show up and be a better man, with a job and a steady income. The brightest smile on his face and the pride that he finally got his life together. Relieved that he finally admit that he fixed it. He fixed it all. But I guess now... that day’s never gonna come. You were right, he realised too late.” He mutters under his breath, clinging onto Aria’s hand like his life depends on it and his emotional state certainly does. His breathing struggles to stay steady and he eases himself by taking in the sight of his stunning fiancé. “At least I’ve still got you, beautiful.” Chris adds out of the blue, startling Aria slightly and she can see the hidden desperation in his sky blue eyes. Giving in, he grasps both of her shoulders and joins their foreheads together, his tense breathing grazing her lower lip and she can’t help but shiver at the affect it has on her. “All I’m ever gonna ask of you, baby, is that... you don’t ever leave me. Please... you’re the one person I wouldn’t be able to handle losing. Sure, losing others painful but you... it’d be fucking unbearable. So please stay... stay.” 

Aria melts at the need and desperation behind Chris’ tone. There’s a genuine fear bouncing off of him right now and she can tell the honest side of him dominating more than ever. He’s never spoken this desperately to her before and she had no idea he felt like this. Like she would ever leave but still... this is overwhelming.

Aria clings onto Chris’ arms and sinks further on her knees, planting a few lingering kisses on his lips before tears starting running down her cheeks. “Chris... I promise to never leave you. Ever. I’m gonna live my life with you and I’m gonna cherish every single goddamn moment we get to share together. This is it. You and me. But I just need you to promise me one thing, babe.”

Chris nods harshly. “Anything.”

“Don’t blame yourself for what happened to your dad. It’s never gonna be your fault. So stop torturing yourself by containing the guilt because you don’t have to do that. Promise me.” Aria requests, her tone commanding with a hint of desperation and Chris drags her in for a passionate kiss and the words he whispers against her lips as they barely pull away is like music to her ears. 

“I promise.” 

[premakalidasi]

thepurelands reblogged your post:Listen, I’m up to here with “spiritual” men and...

I love this SO much… All else to say, which is not in contradiction to your words but a qualifier, is that we as women...

#so much YES#sexuality

Well, I would be very careful with your terminology there (even though I believe your basic intent was benevolent, don’t worry). Saying women “aren’t victims of the patriarchy” edges far too close to basically telling women, bluntly in their faces, that they’re just imagining it all. Which is bollocks--and what I’ve been trying to get at in my post; that there are issues in the way of healing and liberation and becoming whole. It’s exactly because women are victimised as fuck and abused and beaten up all the time that it’s more difficult for them to even start handling sexuality. 

Women are victimised and abused left, right and centre by a fucked-up, patriarchal system that values the male and “masculine” values over “feminine” ones, and that fucks men up as well as it goes. The whole system is based on violence and power-over and it’s 100% real. And we absolutely need to acknowledge that before we can move on. Not tell women, like far too many self-help guides (who’ve never had PTSD themselves) that hey, just think positive sparkly New Age thoughts and be ~open~ and ~forgiving~ (and forget about these silly BDSM things as therapy) and everything will be fine. Women are fucked over in this world 24/7, end of story.

But.

But.

There’s a difference, a massive difference between being victimised, being on the receiving end of violence and abuse and adopting a victim identity. That’s the key; that’s what I hope you were after, too. I don’t believe in victim-blaming, but I do believe in shaking people out of the *internalised* victimisation part, the internalised self-hatred and passivity and weakness. I would never have said this pre-Tumblr, but I am honestly starting to wonder if women wouldn’t be so badly off right now if it weren’t for their own fetish for fucking themselves over.

My dear, dear sisters: whenever you feel hopeless and useless and act accordingly (or, rather, remain passive because you’ve accepted you’re shit), feel like you don’t have the right to do X (act that doesn’t harm anyone), don’t have the right to say Y (thing that doesn’t harm anyone), that this thing is rude and that thing is being a spoilsport, circle your sentences with “hehe” and don’t use full stops because that’s too stompy and yadda yadda, that’s a big-ass part of what keeps you down. You. You keep yourself down because once you’ve been put down by someone else, you copy them and start doing it to yourself, too.

Every time you call yourself a victim (instead of someone else victimising you that very moment), every time you think you’re weak, every time you’re being a nice girl and not making a fuss (when you absolutely should), every time you put yourself down and remain passive, someone benefits from that. Every time you fuck yourself over typing a Tumblr tag saying “but I feel like there’s nothing I can do” or “im shit lol”, someone’s going to benefit from that, usually the dudebros who are having fun somewhere else celebrating violence and other tough-guy crap (while trying to pretend they aren’t soft and squishy human beings underneath all that). Every time you define yourself through something you are Against, you let yourself be defined by the thing you think is your enemy; by focusing on resistance you’re forgetting about the part where you should be exploring and actively building alternative ways of handling things. You have a choice as to whether you’ll type that Tumblr tag or not, but you’ve forgotten you have it. You’re not being yourself--you’re being what The Man wants you to be. Miserable and malleable and useable because you don’t believe in yourself, believe you have any rights, any power, any divinity in yourself.

So I just want to clarify that. There’s a difference between being abused and *abusing yourself,* putting yourself down. There’s something you can’t help--if someone’s kicking you in the face with a combat boot, it’s pretty damn difficult to start manifesting your innate divinity. And I don’t want anyone to belittle that. It’s incredibly difficult to handle sex if the penalty for that is humiliation and physical violence. But those times you are on your own, self-governed (for example, on your own blog on the Internet, or in your own bed with a vibrator)--if you choose to put yourself down *there* as well, then, yes, that’s a problem. And that’s where you’ve got to start, because if you don’t believe that you have any value, you can be used over and over. That’s candy for abusers; that’s candy for narcissists--they see they can walk all over you. 

These self-defeating structures have been programmed into us for millennia exactly to uphold the system as it is, so that we remain home as passive housekeepers and baby machines. It all goes back to that; every time you say “I should put my feelings and hurt aside and put others above myself at all times even if it literally kills me,” it goes back to being an efficient homemaker while the guys (in turn brainwashed into being good cannon fodder, efficient killing machines) go off to wage war. All gender bullshit boils down to that: either making someone into an efficient home/kid management system or a killing/moneymaking system, and all the divine potential inside of us, regardless of genitalia, gets destroyed and burned on the altar of that system. It’s madness. 

But we’ve come so far from that. We’ve now got the technology and civilisation and brains to be far more than just homemakers or soldiers. We already know we can use these skills for building hospitals--transcending the homemaker and the warrior and channeling that into medical science and the engineering and power needed to build that hospital (and that these skills exist cross-sex, so gendering them is too limiting). We should be able to articulate our feelings and use them wisely by now, and to respect each other by now. But we have to respect ourselves first (and the same goes for guys respecting their “girly” parts). If you start saying “no, actually, this is how it works for me”--which is why I was explaining all those things about the female orgasm in my post, because nobody fucking talks about it on that level, especially in spiritual contexts--then we have a beginning. It’s a defiant act, a hella radical act and it’s exactly when we realise what such women are up against that we understand just how revolutionary it is. 

Even now, I have to try and stop myself from saying “TL;DR” here because that’s one of those many forms of self-belittling, ways of saying “hehhehe, what I just said isn’t that important” because it bloody well is. I struggle with that shit, too. (I’m not even going to go into the list of the shit I’ve been through, even if this kind of Discourse often demands people show their hand--because I don’t believe in cred through victimhood. I almost started to list that shit, but stopped myself, because that’s what awareness is all about--not just vomiting out what you feel, but trying to at least have some consideration over what your output’s gonna be. And I don’t want anyone to feel they somehow have less cred than me because they haven’t been on the receiving end of X, because that’s inhuman and also insane). But all you folks need to know that I’ve been There, and over and over. And sick of it. And it’s exactly because people still self-perpetuate all this crap that I can’t keep quiet about it any more, having been through all this myself. Twenty years ago, I hoped things would be better in 2018, but they just seem to be getting worse, so we’ve got to talk about this stuff, start talking about it as much as people talked about this stuff in the 60s and 70s, and as critically as they did then (but that’s a whole different rant).

We’ve all got to start somewhere--but let’s just be careful about the terminology and not taunt people with broken legs into running when they’re still recuperating, or in any way imply they fell over themselves when someone else tripped them over. 

There’s a difference between sabotage and self-sabotage. Being victimised=/=victim identity.  

Now, can we talk about the glory of uterine orgasms? 

[cookinguptales]

So this came up on Twitter yesterday and I thought I’d post about it on Tumblr today. Frankly speaking, I’ve got a lot of young followers and this is some truth I wish someone had taught me when I was a lot younger because I would’ve gone through a lot less stress.

I know we’re all starved for outside validation on this site, but I wanna talk to you about when compliments are used by creeps. Now, you probably know about negging (when someone uses a backhanded compliment on you to make you feel bad about yourself, often in order to pick you up more easily — i.e. “you’re really pretty for a fat girl”), creepy sexualized comments on the street, etc. But I’m talking about really nice compliments about your work or your personality or your drive. Even the sweetest compliment can be used as a weapon.

(All this is going to be a pretty gendered discussion; I in no way want to say that only guys can be creeps and only women have been socialized in the ways I’m about to discuss, but, well. Let’s all be real here, there are definite patterns.)

Discussion under a cut for length and possible triggers

I don’t want to get into a lot of my own painful personal experiences with creepy guys, but I do have to bring up some examples from my own life, so I’ll use one particular guy as a case study. Let’s call him Dick. (Look, I never claimed to be mature.) I’ve had these experiences with guys IRL, but Dick was a guy I met online. At first, Dick was my friend. He clearly had a bit of a crush, but seemed to accept it when I said I wasn’t interested. It was nice having a bud who shared my interests and I knew he had some issues with socializing, so at first I was pretty patient with his problems with boundaries. But by the time my longstanding friendship with Dick ended, he had become a full-blown stalker — and my friends were on his side.

How did this happen? Well, my friends, it’s the art of the public compliment. Dick was All About Me. He loved me. He treated me right. He praised me for my mind and my heart, and he didn’t care who heard him do it. Or so I thought. It took a long time for me to realize it, but he cared very much who heard it. That was exactly why he said it. To be heard.

Over time, I started to become more and more uncomfortable with Dick’s attentions. He wanted to talk about me more than he did the media we’d bonded over. He kept talking about how our (respective) children would grow up together, and would maybe fall in love. (???) He told me that he’d gone to a place I often vacation at — and he’d looked around for tangible traces of me. Long story short, Dick had become pretty creepy.

But, like many women, my first instinct in this situation was to be nice. I wanted to go to him privately and have a polite conversation about all this. And, to his credit, he seemed truly and honestly repentant. Until he did it again. It became a pattern of me trying to establish boundaries and Dick stomping all over them. Finally, despite feeling guilty, I told him he was really upsetting me and I wanted him to leave me alone for a while.

This is when the second creepy pattern emerged. The compliment trap. When I told him to stop contacting me, he didn’t…technically. He didn’t talk to me. He talked about me. He publicly talked about what a great person I was. How smart. How kind. How forgiving. He said it to my friends. He said it to people I respected. And he tagged me.

Now, this looked nice on the outside. He was just complimenting a woman he respects! How nice! But on my side of things, it felt like a trap. All of my friends were waiting for me to acknowledge these compliments. The situation left me with three choices: thank him (in a demure, polite way befitting a modest woman, ofc) and be forced to interact with a man I’d told to leave me alone,  ignore him and look like a stuck up bitch, or say publicly that he’s a creep — which would make me look like I was “hysterical”. (See: rape culture, women “overreacting”, punishing men who “just want to be nice”, etc.)

Left with this choice, I chose option #1. I chose option #1 a bunch of times. Because this would become a pattern. I’d tell him to stop contacting me, he’d do this public complimenting game, I’d feel like I had to interact with him — and worse, I’d question my own feelings of fear. I’d say “Well, look how nice he’s being. Maybe he’s just awkward. He clearly likes me. He doesn’t want to hurt me. Maybe I really was overreacting.” And I’d talk to him again. Until he’d ask me for my address for a Christmas card or something.

And I didn’t realize for a really long time that he wasn’t being nice! This behavior! It was not nice! It was deeply emotionally manipulative! He’d put this horrible emotional onus on me to forgive and forgive and forgive, steadily gaslighting me into forgetting how scared I’d been until I blamed myself for being so quick to react… and let him back into my life. Because this was all public. All our “fighting” happened in private. All those times I begged him to just ease up a little were privy to only the two of us. All our friends, all my support system, only saw a nice boy with a crush praising a girl he liked and her refusing to give him the time of day.

Guess what happened when I finally put my foot down and stopped engaging when he did this? Oh boy. Oh boy. He started sending me literally dozens of messages a day, sometimes over a hundred. Have you ever had a person sending you @s on tumblr and twitter, private messages on tumblr and twitter, public and private messages on Facebook, emails, LJ messages, IMs on two different clients, and forum messages? Every single goddamn day? Dozens of times? Have you ever had a guy start showing interest in something you know he never liked before — just so he can “coincidentally” run into you on every community you’ve ever joined?

Honestly, I was so stressed. In tears all the time. My school work was suffering. No matter how many times I tried to tell him to stop, to avoid him, etc., he just kept going. I told him that we were done. No more forgiveness. I wanted absolutely zero contact — and I wanted him to never mention me on social media again. I didn’t want him to @ me. I didn’t want him to say my name. I didn’t want him to make thinly veiled sad posts about me. Zero contact. If he did that, I wouldn’t block him on every single platform and tell everyone we knew.

Yeah, I was dumb. I still wanted to be nice and polite. He’d been my friend, y’know? I didn’t want to ruin his life. I just wanted him to stop ruining mine. Even then, I didn’t understand how manipulative he’d been. I still believed he was just kind of awkward, and that I was probably the dick for being unable to deal with it. After all, I’d been friends with him, right? I’d encouraged him, right? It’d felt good to have someone like me so much, right?

(Yeah, until it didn’t.)

I almost got out this time, though. He almost made it. Sure, he “accidentally” replied to my posts every few weeks. (Somehow I didn’t put together that even though I’d unfollowed him, he clearly hadn’t unfollowed me. I guess I just thought that he’d kept seeing my posts when our mutual friends replied to them.) I felt pretty good. In fact, I was at a point where I felt almost silly for being upset in the first place. And then our mutual friends started asking me why we weren’t talking as much. He’d liked me so much. We’d had such good conversations. They talked about maybe reconnecting with him. After all, they’d only ever seen him being nice.

And god help me, I said okay. I figured he must have grown! Learned his lesson! Nah, that fucker was back to sending me tons of messages, talking to my friends (who did not know him), inserting himself in conversations I was having with others, making plans for the children I never wanted to have, etc.

I finally blocked him. E v e r y w h e r e. And I felt so fucking relieved that I was actually angry with myself for not doing it earlier. This man had harassed me for years, and I’d been the one to feel guilty over it.

Still private, I contacted our mutual friends and told them very briefly that he’d been harassing me and I was cutting off contact. I asked them to support me. Some people did.

A lot of people didn’t.

They’d only seen his public face. They’d only seen the avalanche of love and compliments. He hadn’t known better!! He just didn’t know how to express his feelings!! Next thing I knew, they were forwarding messages from him to me. Even after I’d blocked the fucker, he was still using compliments and romantic gestures to get to me! Through the people I’d trusted!

I’d finally had enough and was very public about this man who’d harassed me. I told people everything I’d been putting up with. I aired all our dirty laundry that I’d tried so hard to keep politely private. And some people believed me.

But a lot of people didn’t.

(This, coincidentally, is why I don’t answer tumblr asks privately anymore, not unless the person specifically asks me to and they haven’t been creepy at all. I had another guy pull this on me and I found myself in this same position again and all I had was private harassment. So no more of that! Public contact all the way.)

But Sarah, you say, isn’t this an isolated incident? Why are you making this huge tumblr post about one guy? Well, number one, it wasn’t one guy. This happened to me several times before I recognized that this wasn’t one man — this was a pattern of behavior that many men share. Number two, it speaks to wider issues that I’d like to address.

Media pushes this idea that if a girl is mad at you, you just have to work hard to be romantic and win her back. Piss her off? Hold up a boom box outside her window! Romantic, right? No, bruh, you’re lurking outside a girl’s bedroom window when she said she doesn’t be around you. She’s terrified and you’re being a creep. This isn’t gonna win her back. It’s just going to tell her you don’t know how to respect her boundaries.

Women are socialized to be nice even when they’re scared. We’re supposed to ignore the alarm bells in our head because it’s not socially acceptable to pull away. When we are complimented, we are supposed to acknowledge it graciously. When someone likes us, we are supposed to like them back. If we draw strong boundaries and enforce them, we often face strong social consequences. I’m here to tell you that every one of those consequences is worth it to help you feel safe.

Hell, I’ll reiterate it. It’s okay to be a bitch. Don’t sacrifice your mental and emotional well being for someone else’s. Women are supposed to be self-sacrificial, too… but you don’t have to be. A truly good person wouldn’t want you to be.

A PERSON WHO REALLY LIKES AND RESPECTS YOU WILL NOT WANT YOU TO FEEL UNSAFE AROUND THEM. IF THEY’RE OKAY WITH YOU BEING SCARED OF THEM, THIS IS A DEEPLY UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP.

Compliments are not always kind!! You do not always need to be grateful for them! Even nice compliments, ones that are more “you have beautiful writing” vs “nice tits”, can be utilized to emotionally manipulate you and those around you. If a compliment is making you uncomfortable because of the context in which it’s given, you do not need to even acknowledge it. It doesn’t make you stuck up or a bitch. Compliments are supposed to build you up and make you feel good, y’know? If it’s hurting you, it’s still a shitty compliment and that’s on them.

We’re taught that it’s best to be discreet. Naw, man. Be as public as possible, especially if someone’s giving you weird vibes. Keep things on the public record. Like, don’t be an asshole or anything, don’t publicize private information, but you don’t have to keep your conflict in the dark away from prying eyes. That’s only going to benefit the person hurting you… because there will be no established pattern of behavior. Establish establish establish.

Finally, and perhaps most importantly, no one is owed your attentions. It doesn’t matter if they like you. It doesn’t matter if they do nice things for you. It doesn’t matter if there’s social pressure to acknowledge them and/or their efforts. It doesn’t matter if they do every single thing right. If you don’t want to interact with someone, you don’t have to. It doesn’t matter if they just give you vague creep vibes — or if you just plain don’t like them! No one is owed your attentions! Never feel trapped into interacting with people because they make you feel guilty!

(And for that matter, never let someone make you uncomfortable because “they’re just socially awkward”. You can be sympathetic towards someone’s social issues without letting them make you feel unsafe. Believe me, I’ve fallen into this one so many times.)

Anyway, tl;dr? Live bitch is better than dead sweetheart. Don’t fall for the compliment trap. Tell him to fuck off. If friends try to act as intermediary between you and someone you cut out of your life, they’re trash. Tell them to fuck off, too. You have my blessing.

[arielsojourner]

Vader Strikes Back - Part the Second

So again, not beta read/really rough/not really proof read and OUT of order.  Not even sure any of these scenes will make it into any final story of any kind. 

Just using Tumblr as a way to jump start the muse by writing out scenes that I may or may not use later.

Also spoilers for the original first story in AO3 Back From the Future: Episode VI The Clone Wars.  Do NOT read this if you haven’t read that story since otherwise this will NOT make any sense.

If you want to read Part 1 and the Prologue, check the tag #vader strikes back on my page. Again I value feedback and ideas if you have any. 

*

After the tenth body dropped, certain people started leaving Coruscant: human male natural born officers of the GAR, certain scientists, more than a few aids and lower ranking legislators and representatives and an exodus of Senators including Senator Orn Free Ta of Ryloth and Senator Sweitt Concorkill of Vurk. Oh, they all had excuses but nothing could disguise or hide the fear in their eyes.

They feared they would be next to die

Bail Organa was doing all he could to calm the public and hold the Republic together but it didn’t help that one of the key members of the Loyalist Committee, Senator Ta was fleeing Coruscant as if he feared his life would be taken next. That left Bail with limited allies and right now; he wasn’t even sure he could trust the Delegation of 2,000 with Senator Concorkill and Representative Nee Alavar fleeing the system. 

If only Senator Amidala had not mysteriously left. They had been mere hours away from the vote to cease hostilities and start the peace process when everything had gone straight to hell. Bail was left to pick up the pieces and worst of all, it meant he was the one that the Jedi Order was calling upon now and he really didn’t have the time

“Master Yoda, Master Windu,” he greeted them perfunctorily. “Please forgive me, but I am due in the Senate in less than an hour.”

“Keep you long, we will not,” Master Yoda said  walking slowly into Bail’s office. “Help we are offering.”

The Senator paused. “Help? What kind of help?” 

“We believe we know who is behind the string of assassinations on Coruscant,” Master Windu explained.

Bail put down his datapad. “Master Jedi, I think every sentient in the galaxy knows who is is behind the assassinations.”

“Vader,” Yoda intoned.

“Vader,” Bail agreed. “What sort of help then is the Order offering? Do you know who is on his list of targets? Do you have the evidence supporting the crimes of his future targets? I admit that given the state of the Judiciary right now and how many people the Coruscant Guard have arrested, I am not sure the Senate is in any position to step in to deal with the situation.”

This seemed to stop both Jedi in their tracks. They shared a silent look. “Why would you think that the Order would have such evidence?” Mace asked sharply.

“Why wouldn’t you have knowledge of who he intends to kill next?” Bail asked, growing more confused as the conversation progressed.

“In support of his action, you believe the Order is? That his conduct, we sanction?” 

“Vader defeated Palpatine. He was working with a Jedi Knight when he confronted the Sith Master, leading GAR troops.  While I find Vader’s methods to be extreme, I have been privy to enough Senate Arms Committee briefings to know that  harsher methods are sometimes necessary to deal with threats to the Republic. I thought they were working under the auspices of the Order and military authority when they uncovered who Palpatine truly was. Wait, are you now saying that’s not true? Are you saying the Order didn’t know?” 

“Senator Organa, Vader is a Sith Lord. He didn’t save the Republic. He killed Chancellor Palpatine because that is how Sith take power. The student kills the master. He just happened to do it very publicly for reasons we cannot explain as of yet.”

Bail looked from one Jedi to another, in shock. “You’re joking,” he said flatly.

Yoda slammed his cane tip into the floor. “Joking we are not, Sith he is.”

“No, he’s not. He can’t be,” Bail argued. He stood and went to the holoscreen which showed multiple news feeds on mute, many of which were replaying Palpatine’s unmasking and subsequent death. “Have you watched the holovid of the fight? What they said to each other? He fought side by side with a Jedi Knight. Just because his lightsaber is red--”

“That boy was no Jedi,” Yoda says firmly.

“Senator, we do not need you to lecture us on who is or is not a Sith. Vader is a Sith Lord and he is planning to take over the Republic in a critical moment of weakness. The deaths are part of a larger plan to--”

“Master Windu,” Bail stopped him with a raised hand. “With all due respect, I admit to being a bit skeptical of the Order’s knowledge of who is or is not a Sith. You have just admitted to me that you didn’t even know that the Chancellor was the mastermind behind anything until after Vader and Luke confronted him on te Galactic Holonet!”

Yoda shook his head and began heading for the door. “Apprised of this situation, you seem to be. Leave you to your busy schedule, we will.”

“Wait, I have questions. The Senate needs to know--”

“The Order will take care of Vader,” Master Windu said with a shallow bow. “We will leave you to your work.

Bail watched them both leave, his mind traveling the speed of light. “What just happened here?” he asked the empty office aloud. “And what the hell is going on?”

*

Obi-Wan knows there was something that Anakin isn’t telling him and it isn’t just because Anakin still hasn’t said a word since Palpatine’s death. He isn’t blind. He’s raised the boy for over a decade and now and . . .

Well, all right. Perhaps he was a little unaware when it came to Anakin since he hadn’t known until very recently that his Padawan was actually legally married and now has children or that his relationship with Chancellor Palpatine was a toxic mess of dark influences that caused untold damage or that Anakin’s indomitable spirit on the battlefield covered up deep trauma.

Perhaps he is a lot unaware when he thought about it.

But be that as it may, his eyes are open now and he is paying attention and he isn’t just trying to ignore things going wrong with Anakin any longer, and clearly there is something else troubling him.

And worse still, Padme obviously knows what it is and she isn’t saying.

After several days of following them around the Lake House, waiting for one or both of them to confide in him, Obi-Wan finally confronts Padme.  He has to give it to her, for all of his Jedi impassiveness, even he has never mastered her level of control.  But this was Anakin and Obi-Wan isn’t going to give up so easily. 

“The issue is Anakin is deeply troubled. If I didn’t know better, I’d say he is in . . . pain, grieving, actually grieving,” Obi-Wan says with growing astonishment, the realization of what he was seeing crystallizing and coming into focus as he spoke his thoughts aloud. “Both of you are. For whom? Not Palpatine?” he asks.

Padme scoffs openly, eyes flashing with fury. “Don’t be obscene. As if we would mourn him.”

“No, no, I’m sorry. You’re right,” he apologizes hurriedly. “But please, there is something. I can sense it. Neither of you are sleeping. He won’t let the twins out of his sight. Just tell me. I can help. I want to help.”

“Have you been watching the holo news lately?”

Obi-Wan shakes his head. No, he hasn’t. It had been showing nothing but the death of Palpatine on repeat. He had no desire to see the vid  and be reminded of literally trying to hold onto Anakin to keep him from Falling.

She purses her lips together and is silent for a long movement. “You should watch it.”

Obi-Wan takes her advice and watches the vid from start to finish.

He wishes he hadn’t because somehow, in some way that makes no sense, all he sees on the holoscreen is Anakin.

Anakin is fighting a Sith Master. 

Anakin is throwing himself out of a window to protect his son, Luke.

Anakin is suffering under an attack of Sith lightning. 

Anakin is wielding a red lightsaber using Djem So forms that Anakin had modified from Form V. 

Obi-Wan buries his head in his hands, wishing he could unsee what he has seen, forget what he now knows.  

(“Sidious cares for nothing but himself and the Rule of Two. To finally accomplish his goals he has only ever really lacked one thing, a true apprentice,” Dooku had said.)

Not Anakin, oh Force please, not Anakin. It can’t be.  Obi-Wan is just tired. He’s seeing things that are not there. The stress of the past three years is obviously affecting him. His mind is playing tricks. There is no way, just no way that this can be real.

(”“We've seen your future. We don’t want it,” Luke says fiercely to Palpatine as the vid repeats. “You have nothing we want.”

“Don’t I?” the Chancellor says with a vicious smile. “You hate me, you both do. The hate is welling in you now. Why pretend? You think the Order will accept you? You are nothing more than a heretic, a poorly trained tainted novice who they will shun at best, hunt down at worst. And you, a Sith Lord-- there is no future for you without me. Join me and together we will rule the galaxy as it was meant to be ruled!”)

Anakin is a Sith Lord. Even entombed in a monstrous black shell, masked from the world, even torn out of some other horrible time, Sidious recognizes one of his own.

(On the holoscreen, Vader presses his blade forward and spits back at Palpatine, “I will never join you!”)

Obi-Wan waves his hand and the screen goes dark.He’s offered Padme his help. He’s sworn to Anakin that day at 500 Republica that he would stay with him and make it all right. But this is too much, this is too big. He can’t possibly--

(“He is your brother!? Your Chosen One!? He's supposed to SAVE you and your wretched Order?! YOU LOVE HIM?!” Vader screamed at him.)

He touches his throat gingerly. 

Liar, Vader called him.

Later, Obi-Wan had promised himself over and over again over the past few years, pushing aside his guilt. Later, he would have time to really talk and help Anakin.

No, Obi-Wan decides. He is no liar. He will keep his promise and make things right. If Vader could do it, (and how horrible must the future have been for one lost to the Dark to find a way to save the entire galaxy?) then so could he.

He stands and goes to find his Padawan.

[avenger-hawk]

What do you think of Itachi fans who hate Sasuke? and Sasuke fans who hate Itachi?

Why do you want me to let out all the things I keep to myself trying to be tolerant??

(heavy criticism of anti-Itachi, anti-Sasuke fans, social justice supporters and some tumblr categories under the cut. It’s just a subjective opinion, so don’t take it personally)

Liking a character theoretically means liking everything about them, even their flaws. It works like this in real life too, you don’t like people because they’re perfect, but because they’re what they are. Flaws make them more complete and interesting, same goes for fictional characters. Itachi’s complexity is what makes him fascinating. The love he feels for Sasuke and his need to protect him, the genius mind who’s many steps ahead of everyone else, the strong will who made him defy death and only face it when he decided it, so that Sasuke could have his revenge and new powers, the ruthless actions he committed to do so, and the way he hurt Sasuke in the process…I find boring and wrong when I see him portrayed as a martyr only, or as a blind Konoha supporter. While Sasuke’s actions are all clear and committed with pure intentions, a rational thinking and driven by deep, deep feelings.

Oh right, this is about character hate so..Sometimes we hate a character for no reason, it’s just something in them that gets on our nerves. I used to have this unmotivated dislike for H*nata since part 1 (now I have reasons instead, yay), and no matter how others like them, we just hate them. I respect that. And surely are those who have well tought reasons to hate Itachi or Sasuke, I disagree with them but respect their position just like I expect them to respect mine. 

At a first glance the latter group makes no sense to me because Itachi and Sasuke’s bond is so strong that their sense of self is related to the existence of the other, in Sasuke’s it’s more evident and in Itachi it’s more concealed because of the life he led, but it’s just as strong.

I read the manga only because of Sasuke, I always related to him because of reasons, I rooted for him against Itachi, I wanted him to get his revenge and move on, then he learned the truth and I started loving Itachi so, so much, and their bond, and the way Sasuke loves him, and the way Itachi loves him as well. I see Itachi through Sasuke’s eyes, so I get angry whenever I read anti-Itachi stuff because I go into “don’t you dare talk about niisan” mode, I can’t help it.

I think that most Sasuke fans who hate Itachi put themselves outside Sasuke and above him, so to speak, so they see Itachi’s actions as abusive, they don’t forgive them like Sasuke did (he said “I can forgive you but I can’t forgive Konoha”) and don’t understand the context or don’t want to, or just have a different solution to the massacre, which one? I don’t know and I don’t care, as I think it was inevitable, both as a plot device and as an event. Most of them recycle this sort of neo-puritan anti/anything problematic in fiction revisionist opinions so they also see him as a Konoha blind supporter, conveniently ignoring that everything Itachi did was to keep SAsuke alive and safe in a stable environment, that he was only 13 when he was forced to choose between the clan and his beloved brother, that he had been exposed to war at 4 and used as a double agent from the age of 10, that after he lost the only friend he could count on and who would have helped him sort things out, he was completely and utterly alone. They use big words and black/white thinking (“it’s still abuse/genocide”)and bring up real life issues but they forget that child soldiers exist and I’m sure that the only thing they think about is staying alive and keeping their precious person alive no matter what. Not to menton they forget that Itachi is the only one who took responsibility for his actions instead of hiding behind will of fire or other crap, that he clearly said he knew the village had dark sides and that he threatened Danzo to spill Konoha’s secrets if he harmed Sasuke and that’s a very anti-Konoha action. But still they see him as part of the system and his fans as idiots so yeah let me stop or I’ll get angry~

Itachi fans who hate Sasuke are rarer in my experience, they are similar to N*ruto fans in this. They disagree with Sasuke’s actions, like wanting to destroy Konoha or his revolution, because it’s not what Itachi wanted…and this makes me cringe and get angry as well because I supported every single one of Sasuke’s actions. Most of it all an Itachi fan should understand that Sasuke’s actions were always driven by his love for him, that everything he ever did was for him. Destroying Konoha was to avenge him, his revolution was to make his dream come true, and by the way, Itachi himself showed Sasuke his support with his last words, where he doesn’t condemn him, instead he says no matter what he’ll do he’ll love him forever (and I’m not even counting SP adding Itachi’s hand supporting Sasuke’s chidori even though that is the most amazing thing they ever did) so as much as certain Sasuke jokes are hilarious, when it comes to serious stuff this sort of criticism comes off as shallow and lacking understanding of both Itachi and his bond with Sasuke..which makes me identify them as shippers who just want their favourite character to get a life without protecting Sasuke.

Yup because my first thought when I stumble on this sort of hate is seeing them as salty shippers who see the other character as getting in the way of their ship (like certain shiita/kisaita fans hating sasuke, and certain sns fans hating itachi. real story, I saw them). My second thought, since many deny it’s about ships and even criticize shippers as shallow, unlike them, is seeing them as the worst plague affecting a fandom. They consider themselves “critical” fans who know more than anyone else because they mix social justice, 3 notions of basic real world history and politics they learned in school, and a shit ton of tumblr “this is problematic uuuuh you can’t like that character” crap.

Call me arrogant or whatever, I don’t care, what I see in the tags is 90% recycled opinions that big blogs made popular and everyone followed, or the impossibiliy to separate fiction from reality with the following judgemental attitude to those who lack morality or whatever, and 99% of these ideas come a specific country that (pls keep in mind that this refers to tumblr) soo believes they have the ultimate truth when they actually are embarassingly ignorant about everything and especially every other country/continent’s culture and mentality…even those they claim to identify with or defend. since I’ve been on tumblr I’ve noticed that everyone from every country is way more chill about fictional stuff and pretty much everything else than *them*, no matter what group they decide to identify with.

[kaimaciel]

@the-river-dream-shore thanks for tagging me :)

Rules: answer all the questions, add one of your own and tag as many people as there are questions i mean you can tag other people then :)

1. coke or pepsi?

Coke

2. disney or dreamworks?

I lean more towards Disney.

3. coffee or tea?

Coffee. I literally can’t survive without it. I only drink tea when I’m sick. 

4. books or movies?

I read more than I watch movies.

5. windows or mac?

Windows. Mac doesn’t support most of the programs I use.

6. dc or marvel?

It depends on the year and the media. In the last few years, I was definitely a Team Marvel girl. I loved Journey into Mystery, Young Avengers, and the first half of Loki Agent of Asgard, but then most of the characters started to get replaced, the comics became too preachy and condescending, reading them didn’t appeal to me, it only made me angry, not to mention the never ending Events. Right now, I don’t read a single Marvel Title. The Marvel Movies, on the other hand, are all a must see! I absolutely love them and it’s amazing to finally share my geeky passions with my friends who didn’t read comics until now.

The opposite happened with DC. Their movies are boring, dark and depressing (I hope Wonder Woman is good!), but both their comics and video games are amazing. I love what they’ve done with Jason Todd (Red Hood), Young Justice is an amazing series and I’ve played all the Batman Arkham games and Injustice. Overall, I think DC is now more focused on good stories and good characters. 

7. xbox or playstation?

Playstation. I’ve had them all.

8. dragon age or mass effect?

Neither. 

9. night owl or early riser?

I try to go to bed early because I have work early in the morning, but given the choice, I’m a night owl. 

10. cards or chess?

Cards. They’re more fun, especially with a large group. 

11. chocolate or vanilla?

Chocolate. I only eat vanilla icecream when it’s mixed with chocolate.

12.vans or converse?

I don’t know what those are :/

13. fluff or angst?

angst enveloped by hurt and comfort with a tear-jerking happy ending.

14. beach or forest?

I live near the forest, so I’m used to seeing it all the time, and I love it. Beach is something I crave every summer, but then get tired of. I’m almost albino, sun light is painful to me.

15. dogs or cats?

Both. I always had a dog and lately, we’ve been adopting a few stray cats. My cat just had 4 kittens and I wish we could keep all of them. They’re so cute.

16. clear skies or rain?

Clear skies. I find rain depressing unless I can stay warm at home and watch it fall from my comfy chair.

17. cooking or eating out?

Eating out, usually. I’m not much of a cook and I hate cleaning everything the kitchen. 

18. spicy food or mild food?

Mild food, spices don’t sit well with my gastric system.

19. halloween/samhain or solstice/yule/christmas?

We don’t celebrate Halloween in my country, but Christmas is always a huge event, even though is so expensive and exhausting. 

20. would you rather forever be a little too cold or a little too hot?

Neither! I like mild temperatures. 

21. if you could have a superpower, what would it be?

Telekinesis and the ability to shoot power blasts from my hands!!

22. animation or live action?

Animation, mostly, but somethings I would prefer live action now that I’m older.

23. baths or showers?

Showers. I usually don’t have the time for a bath.

24. team cap or team ironman?

Team Cap (the original Steve Rogers though).

25. fantasy or sci-fi?

Mostly fantasy, but I’ve begun to enjoy sci-fi too.

26. do you have three or four favourite quotes, if so, what are they?

People find it far easier to forgive others for being wrong than being right. — Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince 

I am serious. And don’t call me Shirley. - Airplane

Why? I'm not talking about killing Penguin or Scarecrow or Dent. I'm talking about him. Just him. And doing it because... Because he took me away from you. - Batman Under the Red Hood

27. youtube or netflix?

Youtube

28. harry potter or percy jackson?

Harry Potter. I never read Percy Jackson (I was going to read Magnus Chase from the same author buuut... he made Loki the main villain, so that’s an automatic NO for me).

29. when do you feel accomplished?

When I finish what I set out to do and succeed 

30. star wars or star trek?

Star Wars. 

31. paperback or hardback books?

Hardback! I love them, except for the paper cape that keeps falling out when I read.

32. horror or rom-com?

It depends on my mood, but I love both.

33. tv shows or movies?

Movies. It takes a lot of time for me to get invested in a tv show

34. favourite animal?

Dogs, cats, magpies, deer, dolphins, red pandas...

35. favourite genre of music?

All genres, again it depends on my mood. Except for Pimpa. 

36. least favourite book?

The Twilight series, Fifty Shades of Grey, 

37. favourite season?

Spring, when there are flowers blooming everywhere and the weather gets warmer.

38. song that’s currently stuck in your head?

Amar pelos Dois by Salvador Sobral, our Portuguese Eurovision winner. I’ve been listening to covers of his song in other languages and I’m so happy people like it enough to honor with a cover. It fits with any language. 

39. what kind of pajamas do you wear?

Matching set pajamas or an oversized T-shirt in the summer.

40. how many existential crises do you have on an average day?

Twice a week, just a few minutes of self-loathing when I’m lying in bed, but nothing big.

41. if you can only choose one song to be played at your funeral, what would it be?

Our funerals only sing hymns so I would choose O come, o come, Emmanuel.

42. favourite theme song to a TV show?

Biggest Dreamer - Digimon Tamers 

Go, Go Power Rangers!

43. harry potter movies or books?

The books were better. It all looked better inside my mind. 

44. you can make your OTP become canon but you’ll forget that tumblr exists. will you do it?

Pairings are important for a while, but then we move on to another fandom and find new ones. So I would keep Tumblr.

45. do you play an instrument and if so, what is it?

I had piano lessons, but I’m awful. I also played the flute in middle school.  I wish I could learn to play the violin.

46. what is the worst way to die?

Either burned or skinned alive.

47. if you could be entirely invisible for a day, what would you do?

Probably watch a bunch of movies for free.

48. If you could have personally witnessed anything in history what would it be?

I would have liked to take a tour on the Titanic, visit every single room.

49. If you could understand animals but you could never understand humans again, would you?

No. I need to understand humans, and it’s probably best if I don’t know what my dog and cats think of me.

50. What is your most favourite album currently?

None.

51. What is your favourite word/phrase/colloquiallism? Name one (or more) per language you speak c:

Água mole em pedra dura, tanto dá até que fura -it means with persistence, everything can happen

Antes só que mal acompanhado - means better to be alone than surrounded with people who don’t give a damn about you.

52. What mythical creature would you like to be able to transform into?

Either a Dragon or an Angel

Thanks for the challenge. Here are y tags:

@virushoney @thenightling 

Please tag me so I can read your answers ;)