#i forget how shit mine really is until i attempt to draw ~perspective~

[birbfeeder2artisticboogaloo]

GOD i wish i had better fucking depth perception 😩

[askfallenroyalty]

I don't think you did anything wrong. When a story is being written, there are a lot of different ways to adress and express something and maybe that's why you're being misunderstood. I think there are just too many things to adress in this story that maybe some people will get when these things are implicitly implied and some people will not. So when a breaking point comes, they'd think it came out of nowhere. You can see this with the amount of asks you receive asking you often the same thing.

Does that mean it's wrong? Ofc not! I myself was a little bit confused with Frisk's reactions and conduct in general until you explained it in your recent asks, and I thought man, that was what I was missing!

Now, yes I believe some parts of the story could have been explained in a different way, because in my opinion there's a lot to read between the lines. If you don't try to understand the characters, you'll clearly be confused as hell. But that's why I love this story! As you said before, there's nothing meant to be black/white coded, and I really appreciate the world and the character's complexity in general. You don't have some of the answers in hand, an that's when you have to analize! (At least that's what I do haha)

I also really felt like telling you something I've been relating to, so I'm putting the respectives tw if someone doesn't want to keep reading (TW: Suicide mention).

In the DW Arc, when the Christmas and Feylow stuff happened, I realised through Chara that I was doing the exact same thing with a friend of mine. He was going through a lot of stuff, and tried to commit suicide multiple times. I was focusing a huge amount of energy on him because I was afraid to lose him, and when he suddenly stopped talking to me so he could take a break, I felt really lost. Because he was the person I talked with the most, one of my dearest friends, and the idea of losing him and not being there to stop it made me insanely anxious, because that used to be the situation most of the times. Now it's been a year since he's stopped talking to me, and I don't exactly know the reason. But I couldn't keep running behind someone who didn't seem to keep wanting me around. And if it wasn't for you, I couldn't have realized how much this was hurting me.

And now, as much as it hurts me to see him acting this distant and cold with me, I'm okay with it. I really am. Because I now have the tranquility to see him continue, even when things are not okay. I can't force a friendship and I really needed to understand that back then. I trust him as much as he trusts me.

I really wanted to thank you for writing this story because it has helped me in a way I didn't expect, and I'm sure it will help a lot of people too! I'm even learning from your way of taking and discussing things haha.

I just wanted you to have this tranquility I have with this story because I trust it'll work out and explain itself once it's finished. And I just can't express how thankful I am to be reading your story.

Thank you again,

I'm looking forward to more of your work and please, take care! Don't stop doing what you enjoy! 🦋

putting it under a readmore because of how long the ask/response is, sorry!

i’m at a loss of words because wow, this ask really hit in a way i’ve never really could of anticipated. when writing AFR, i write a story about things I felt. I’ve been Chara, I’ve been Asriel and Frisk at points in my life. I write because I need to tell their stories and make it real, specifically for my own sake of getting through my own pain and to tell the world this is who i am and that I will be ok, there is hope in this world. It’s a selfish desire for me, but ultimately that’s what art is i feel. I couldn’t draw this much and put so much time and effort into something without it being meaningful or personal.

but art is communication, and when I write to be seen and to be heard, I know there’s others who are reading and are connecting with the work. (otherwise, I wouldn’t be getting asks right? its a lonely process, i forget there’s the second half of the equation -you guys) and i’ll do my best to make sure people are accommodated and can experience this story without hurting in a way that’s past enjoying a emotionally gripping piece of media. i don’t want people to be upset or hurt for my work, and I want to ensure I can make this without hurting others.

I try to leave a lot of ambiguity and room for people to interpret stories and I don’t mind people missing the point or interpreting things vastly differently than what I intended. that’s fine, that’s what art is all about. i don’t want to hold people’s hands and tell them what’s happening or what they should feel -i want them to choose and decipher and think things over. stories should be stimulating and thought provoking, and i can’t decide what those thoughts are. I wouldn’t want to. Personally, if it means people become more confused and lost over the story -well, that’s a trade off I have to take. if it means the story is more up-to-interpretation, than it’s worth it to me.

i do regret with how fast and punchy the arc ended up, and I feel my hints may have been too weak. asriel/flowey has been bluntly surprised/asking to be killed twice, he hasn’t felt like himself since dying and has lost his support systems ect. as a person who’s Been Through Shit, I thought it was as obvious as the sun what was to come but thinking on it now?

with how distance asriel is, how limited the perspective is to chara (who hasn’t known Asriel has been going thru the same depressive/suicidal thoughts as they have this whole time) it was a shock to the system. and in a way that’s fine in my eyes if the reader was completely shocked as you can emphasize more with chara that way... but in the same sense its horrifying for them, it must be for the reader as well.

and I do feel I should of thought of a way to handle the scenario to where it was less in your-face with Asriel’s decent into desperation and attempts. I don’t want to ever show it on screen, I don’t want to ever go into detail and make it any sort of fun for the viewer. it’s supposed to be disturbing and painful and I tried to show how greatly painful it was affecting both chara and frisk. Suicide victims are victims and everyone involved suffer from it. It’s ugly and never something one should be anything but ugly.

that is my intent for it be that, but as I’ve heard from people it’s still a shock and went too far. Authorial intent doesn’t matter when people react to your stories. yes, the context can be good to have, but people’s feelings and reactions mean the world more. I hope with the added context of the complete story that helps it in the long run, but as it is I’m very unhappy with how I tackled it and I don’t really have a good answer to how I should of gone about it. but at the end of the day that doesn’t matter as it happened and I can’t change it.

i’m sorry about your friend and i’m sorry for the pain you’ve experienced as well. it’s not easy being in that position (nor is it for ur friend as well of course) and it’s perfectly fine to feel hurt and to take time for yourself to address those feelings. You, as a person, matter and your feelings are justifiably important as well. nobody asks to be mentally ill and your friend’s choices aren’t fully theirs because of that, but it doesn’t change how it’s affected and hurt you. Losing someone’s friendship has always been a painful and inevitable experience people must go thru in life. I’m sorry that you’ve gone through that, but I’m glad -so happy that my story has helped you in any amount. I sincerely wish you both the best and to heal, I’m proud of you anon for getting through this.

I can’t really express how much it means as a writer to see how my work helped you. Like I mentioned before, I write and feel like it’s by myself that makes this work but it’s a 2 way street -you guys contribute to the story and the story only exists and is perceived by you. without an audience, it really truly is just me here. what you gain and experience within a story is just as important as the writing of the work itself and I often forget that.

Thank you. This was a really nice and eye opening ask and it’s going to be on my mind for a while, haha. I hope once the story is done and I can post-correct how I handle the story, people can learn and gain meaning to it like you have. Sorry if this was a bit rambly, I’m very thankful for your response (as well as everyone else who’s messaged!) and I’m very happy and excited to continue and to do my best. Thank you all so much.

[scroll-of-thought]

there’s someone living in my home at the moment who scrutinizes my every move, talks down to me, and dismisses my issues with depression when it comes to house stuff. I’m trying to get better, but at this point they won’t really listen to me and just seem to dismiss me as dumb and lazy. (they’re also a bit misogynistic to top) I’ve tried being civil and reasonable but this person is so against me it seems nothing will work. I’ve never used magic on someone else before but I’ve (1/2)

(2/2) tried and tried and this person seems to really hate me, or at least think badly of me no matter what. what would you do in this case? my mental health is being seriously affected and I don’t feel comfortable in my own home. I’m afraid of doing any housework for fear of angering this person and them writing more long messages about how I suck, how I am too forgetful, how I’m a dumbass. I need this to stop, and I want to feel at home in a place I pay for every month with hard earned money..             

Sorry I didn’t see this last night! I've been really busy over the past few days and haven’t been online.

This sounds really rough. And I’ve seen people go through stuff like this all too often. First we’re going to go over some mundane solutions, and we’ll talk magick later. Firstly, it’s important to understand you probably can’t change a person like this with your own actions. Magick might be able to lessen their asshole-ness, but this seems like a deep seated problem in them. They’re this way because they’re a shitty person, and that’s no fault of your own, and trying to change their perspective is not only a tall order, for someone who’s actually qualified to work with them on a psychological level, but it’s also a tall order that would probably hurt you in the process of doing. If They’re belittling to your mental issues and a misogynist on top of that, they’re a lost cause. The goal here should be to lessen interaction with them, get out of the situation, or distance yourself from them as much as possible.

I don’t know the entire situation, but do they have any legal right to be there? Like, if they’re a roommate, but the lease isn’t in their name, you might be able to get them kicked out. If so, I’d look for another roommate and work on getting them kicked out. If it’s the other way around, and you can leave, I’d look into doing so as soon as you can. Find a new roommate, maybe ask friends or if you’re part of any support groups, see if anyone knows anyone who would be more understanding of your condition. Same thing goes for a therapist if you have one, they might have resources that could put you in contact with other’s who might be able to help you make those connections, and get out of that situation. If they’re family, then it might be trickier. But depending on your family, you might be able to take advantage of this. If you have sympathetic family members, go to them for help. Explain your situation, explain you’re trying and doing you best to get better, and explain that they are seriously hampering your healing process. Maybe they can talk (or shame) some sense into them. Another important thing to do, regardless of the situation, is to build a legal case. Just in case you need it. Make sure you have a paper trail for rent. Take pictures of notes they leave you. Save messages they send you. Keep all of it. I know this isn’t easy for some people, but if you can, get diagnosed with depression by a professional if you can. You never know when that can help you legally, like if they try to get you kicked out, or if they continue to harass you, or something like that.

And remember that you are paying to live there, with your hard earned money, and it’s your right to feel at home in that place. You aren’t dumb, and you’re certainly not lazy. I know how devastating depression can be, and how it can just erode your whole life around you. Just hang in there and know people like me and all the others who have been there are with you.

So let’s get to some magick :D That’s what this blogs about, right?

I’ve got a couple ideas. We’re going to take away some of their power to hurt you, try to help their disposition towards you, and we’ll try something to help cope with the depression.

First a classic binding spell.

You’re going to need: String (preferably black, but any will do) A picture of them (or we’ll make a taglock for them) Some alone time to do the spell.

If you don’t have a picture, you can simply write their whole name on a bit of paper, and if you have access to something like a bit of their hair from a brush, or something like that, it can help strengthen the connection. Simply put the hair in the paper with their name (you can tape or glue it if you want) and fold the paper up a few times, and you’ve got a taglock fitting for this simple spell.

Take your photo/taglock and wrap the string around it, starting from the front, holding it in place with your thumb, and wrapping it around behind the photo, and back to the front. Every loop you make say “[asshole’s name] I bind your power to hurt me. Your words can do no harm to me. Your malice can not injure me.” and wrap it up until you’re out of string or you’ve totally covered the photo/taglock. If it’s a photo I would make sure to at least cover the mouth as much as you can to shit him the fuck up. You’ll then tie off the string (you can also seal it with wax, or even glue if you want, but a simple knot is fine) and finish with “[Asshole], you are bound. This is my will. You can not hurt me.” (you can top it off with a “So mote it be/So I will it/Amen”, or whatever you want, if you want) and toss that shit in the trash. The spell is done, whatever happens to the taglock and string from here no longer matters. You’ve bound them and harming you should be more difficult and more taxing on them and even if they attempt to belittle you, you’ll notice it means a lot less to you than it did before, and they can go fuck themselves. Next, a Sweetening Jar. You’re going to need: A jar or similar container A photo/taglock/petition Honey/syrup/etc. (optional) Some herbs for different effects, like rosemary for protection, lavender(or maybe weed?) to make this guy chill the fuck out, or whatever else you want to customize this one with.

Sweetening jars are typically used by many online witches for love spells, but they’re  versatile and also great just changing someone’s opinion about you and making them like you more, or even just bringing peace between people. An alternative would be a freezer spell, where you literally put the spell in the freeze to make them chill the fuck out, but as you’re living together, you probably don’t want them finding the spell when they’re digging around in the freezer for food.

Also I’m going to note that there are a bunch of different ways to do this kind of spell, from lots of different traditions. Some of the better known versions online are from Hoodoo, Dominican root work, and other ethnic magicks. You’re your interested in those things, obviously do your research, be respectful to the traditions they come from, generally just use your head and best judgement if you do further reading on this. My version of this spell is super simple and doesn’t draw from any specific tradition, more so just standard symbology and force of will magick. Take your jar, and put a thin layer of honey in the bottom. Layer in the picture/taglock. Many different versions of this spell will have you wait until the end to do the spoken elements of the spell, but I like to start mine here, and I’m going to do it in an unorthidox manner. Simply start talking to the person and tell them how you feel and what’s going on. “[Asshole], this is a sweetening spell. Our relationship will improve. You’re going to chill out so I can stop calling you “Asshole” with those silly square brackets. You’re going to be more understanding and sympathetic to me. Etc, Etc.” Feel free to sprinkle in some of your “dude, chill out” herbs at this stage. Cover with more honey as your having your conversation, until you feel they’re covered enough. Mix in a layer of protection herbs when you hit any talking points on them leaving you alone. This is their time to listen, for you to tell their soul they need to stop, and for your will to shape the way they’ll begin to treat you from now on. Take that jar when you’re done with it, and stick it somewhere out of the way. Under a bed, in a closet, somewhere of no consequence. If things start to take a dip, take the jar out, tell it “Remember what we talked about” and put it back. Finally for the depression.

Honestly, if I had a cure all spell for this, I would use it right fucking now. I am going to point you in the way of my sigil tutorial and suggest you give it a read and maybe make a sigil to help you through the rough spots, or many sigils to help at different parts. I made a sigil for “I can complete my task” and turned that sigil into an amulet, and that thing has kicked me out of bed to do what has to be done, regardless of how badly I just want to stay in bed all day. Make one for “My depression has no grasp on me”, “I’m stronger than my depression”, “I have the power to complete my job” or whatever you need. So here’s a link to that tutorial (part 1, link to part to in the post).

Also advice, just as one depressed witch to another. Some of the mundane tips actually help. Like exercise. I heard “oh, go exercise and you’ll feel better!” and I was like “fuck you, you think I can get out of this bed, let alone go for a walk, when I just kind of want to stop existing? You’re fucking mad.” But that shit works. I hate it, but it works. Like, just going out for a walk and getting moving dramatically improved my state. So force yourself to give that a shot, if you can.

Another thing that helps me is positive, constructive hobbies that give a sense of achievement. Especially crafts. Making things, carving a wooden spoon, drawing something, knitting, whatever. It’s like renewed life blood when you’re feeling like shit. Taking a little blob of oven baked clay and sculpting a shitty little mushroom, but then looking at it and being like “fuck, I made this little shroom mother fucker. I’m going to take a sharpy and draw eyes on it. Shit, I made a little friend.” It’s so mentally refreshing, especially when you’re feeling super low. And I think part of it is just proving that you can do something. It’s small, sure, but you’re not finished. And that’s just the kind of empowerment you need in moments like that. It’s helped me dramatically many times over the years. And send me picture if you do pick up a crafty hobby, because I love literally all crafts and I want to see it.

Ok, well, sorry that turned into a super long post, but I hope it helps you out. Again, just know you’re not alone in any of this. Life sucks, but at least it sucks for a lot of us, and we’ve all got each other for when it gets bad. Feel free to message me anytime, and I’ll try to respond faster next time.