#i focused on low-empathy emily in the last ask so i tried to talk more about why i DONT like typical fanon characerizations

[maschotch]

I saw that you said you find fanon characterisations of Emily laughable - I'd love to hear you expand on this since personally I see her as quite an emotional character given some of the moments on the show (wanting to adopt Carrie, the obsessing over the "they're not like us" comment, her willingness to sacrifice herself for the team etc). I love hearing other people's perspective though and would love to hear yours

this is gonna sound like a cop out but i chalk those ~emotional emily~ moments to being either an intentional “crisis” to throw the others off track or just being ooc. especially because pretty much all of those moments happen after jj makes the comment that she doesn’t seem to let anything get to her? i think she worries that the others will catch on so throw a couple red herrings to keep them from getting suspicious 

because i really don’t like those moments: especially the “i need to know that i can be human” line. there are a couple more dramatic lines that i think fit her narrative much better (“we don’t choose who we fall in love with,” recognizing that carrie’s trying to be a good daughter, and others i cant think of bc its been months since ive watched the showakjhsgl). 

like. there are some inconsistencies with her character that im not a big fan of. “woods is like my second home” vs “im a city girl, taxi rides and martinis” or whatever tf she said. and then there are character traits that i don’t like and would rather ignore (when she’s thinking about having kids). but the same goes for the other characters as well. there are just some things i’d rather not think about so i don’t take it into consideration when i’m analyzing their character (hotch’s nationalism, derek’s early sexism, reid’s apparent straight-ness, literally everything about david rossi). 

so i guess i can’t be too surprised when every fucking hotchniss fic is about emily getting pregnant and shit like that. it comes with the territory, but it just “humanizes” her in ways i don’t like. it feels very gendered, like something the writers tack on as an afterthought because “oh yeah, she’s a woman, of course she wants kids.” it’s not really something i blame fic authors themselves for: especially when half the time people use her as a self insert. i just don’t like it

the emily prentiss i like is the emily prentiss that goes to sin-to-win weekend in atlantic city, the emily prentiss that can beat jason gideon at chess, the emily prentiss that can beat spencer reid at cards, the emily prentiss that is just as nerdy and geeky as spencer and derek respectively, the emily prentiss that spends nights at the office drinking with hotch and dave, the emily prentiss that can walk through grotesque crime scenes without batting an eye, the emily prentiss that kept a major part of her life secret from the profilers of the bau. 

she’s tough. not that you can’t be tough while being feminine, i just refuse to give cm writers any credit for their overt “girlboss” moments because they’re so fucking half-assed that it’s ridiculous. “when a girl something something she wants you to shut up and listen” or however that stupid quote goes.. like.. that is NOT a girlboss moment. it’s the kind of forced feminism you see in media that upholds more gender stereotypes than it breaks down. 

some people like those moments. and that’s fine; i’m not gonna say they’re wrong for liking it. it has a similar vibe to the “man-hating lesbian” thing.. sometimes they’re just joking around, sometimes they have trauma that genuinely justifies a fear of men, but it doesn’t change the fact that it’s an immature way of thinking that disregards the actual point of feminism, and i would ask them to question what they really mean when they talk about female empowerment

sjkdh ok im getting severely off topic now and i’m not trying to say the “get emily pregnant” gang is anti feminist or whatever, i just don’t like the evidence they have for it. and that’s fine for some people: taking something they know is shitty writing and using it to tailor their character into something better/more interesting (like the way i use all the shit jj says and attribute it to her upbringing, which in truth rarely gets mentioned). people are fine for that. it’s just not for me. i see a different strength in emily and i’ll choose to reconstruct canon in a way i see fit

[stunudo]

Along This Long and Winding Path

A Criminal Minds Fan-fiction

Featuring: Spencer Reid x the BAU team

Setting: Season 14

A/N: This is day two of my 1k Follower Grab Bag of Fics. But when I saw the formula for this day I knew it was going to be an angsty mess. Reid with Team Unity/ Wheels Up in the future. This is one way I could see the cliffhanger of season 13 being resolved, you all will probably hate me. Also, this somehow turned into a case fic. xoxo Stu

Spencer Reid had a barrel of a gun pointed at his head, his gun pointed back. If he shot her, Penelope could die, if he didn’t he would be taken prisoner into the very cult that had kidnapped his friend and fellow genius. Though the decision appeared to be containing two options, his mind began factoring all the variables, giving seemingly endless possibilities. Penelope’s voice was muffled behind the car window, “Shoot her Reid!”

Penelope Garcia, a peace loving and nurturing analyst was asking him to shoot someone. She had saved him all those years ago in a Texas hospital room, he wouldn’t let her be in danger now. Protocol be damned. He holstered his sidearm and surrendered. Suddenly the dream faded away and he woke up to face a new day.

Chief Emily Prentiss had been sitting silently at her desk for an indeterminate amount of time. There were cases piling up and there were reports due out, but her mind and her attentions kept floating off. Her sense of duty had be quelled these past few months leaving room for distraction that only masked guilt. There was a knock at the door, JJ’s cool blue eyes tried to hide her empathy.

“Kevin sent us a text to meet in the round table room,” JJ stayed in the doorway. “You ready?”

“Of course, sorry about that,” Emily closed the folder that was open on her desk, one she hadn’t even realized she had opened and stood to follow JJ to the conference room.

Kevin Lynch stood awkwardly in front of the group of profilers until JJ and Emily were seated amongst them.

“Alright, it’s a bad one,” he started, his joker grin lost on his swallowing features. “We’ve got seven sets of human remains found in the woods outside of Boise. There has been flooding in the area and that is why they were discovered. Local sheriff’s office puts the most recent body at six months, which is still tentative given the state they were in.”

“So we need to determine if there is still a threat and profile from there,” Emily added, glancing at the evidence photos on her tablet.

David Rossi was in the market for some real estate in the Bay Area, looking forward to spending more time with Kai and Joy now that he was retired. His wives and his retirements came in threes, apparently. He unconsciously checked his phone as the realtor showed him through the third overpriced yet charming  house of the day. He couldn’t turn off his agent senses, but he also didn’t want to interrupt a case. He shut off the phone to stop himself from scratching the itch.

“Mr. Rossi, can you believe this kitchen?!” The realtor gushed.

Spencer Reid made his way to the day room, having slept through breakfast. He didn’t mind, he could have a cup of coffee from the nurses station, but all the sugar in the place couldn’t make it satisfactory. He found Thomas at the card table, just like every other day and silently sat down.

“Didn’t think you’d make it out today,” the man’s gruff voice disproportionate to his small frame.

Spencer’s voice was soft and slow to reply, “Some days are worse than others. Did you still want to play?”

“Why not, let them wait on us for group for once,” Thomas grinned his crooked teeth and began setting up the chess pieces.

The roads were nearly impassable and yet the BAU got to the crime scene before noon. Simmons and Alvez wore backpacks while JJ and Emily had utility belts on. Tara thought they all looked ridiculous and was instead taking pictures with her phone to send to Kevin. The bodies had been left in the position they had been found until their arrival. The mud making any close inspection nearly impossible.

“How long until we can get them to the coroners’, Agent Prentiss?”

“We don’t need much longer, given the state of the area we would be more harm than good at this point,” she explained.

“JJ, come look at this,” Alvez was crouched down over the body of a young woman.

“Those look like defensive wounds,” JJ was confused.

“She was clawing at herself like that?” Luke suggested.

“The unsub may have been using a burning agent or some kind of hallucinogen,” Tara leaned over to look at the most in tact body. Emily and Matt both shared a look when the last word was said.

Group was the hardest part of his day, but also the one he looked forward to the most. It wasn’t therapy, but it was conducted like it. It gave the staff an excuse to get everyone together before lunch was served and also brought the long term residents some socialization. The quickly rehabilitated patients were the most talkative during the sessions, but Spencer made it a point to seek out those who were less keen to share.

The introverts that didn’t seek the recognition or the attention of the group were his people, but that didn’t stop him from focusing in on one extrovert’s contributions day after day.

“How is everyone today?” She grinned her lopsided grin from her chair. “I know the weather is all over the place right now, but the courtyard is starting to see some fresh growth. You guys should really check it out.” Penelope saw some hands raise and she pointed with her right hand to pick on the next person to share.

Spencer and Thomas had entered the cafeteria, Thomas’s walker was sliding on tennis balls with faces drawn on them. His bright eyes watched Penelope as she giggled at the story someone had shared.

“Prentiss, the id on this victim flagged in Vicap,” Simmons handed Emily his tablet with Kevin’s email.

“Carol Murray. She was an unsub?”

“A victim, from Tallahassee.” Simmons pointed to the information on the screen.

“That’s a long way to move a body,” Prentiss added.

“According to the file, we worked the case,” Simmons.

“Jayge, do you remember a case in Florida, apparently there was a string of shootings for organ donors?”

“Yeah, what’s it have to do with these bodies in Idaho?” JJ’s face was in disbelief.

“One of the bodies was a victim you and Morgan saved on the case.”

“So, we going to talk today, or are you going to keep watching me during Group?” Penelope had wheeled over to him during lunch.

“Garcia,” Spencer whispered, giving her a dejected look.

“Oh, don’t Garcia me, Reid,” Penelope’s voice was nearly back to normal, her speech pathologist was thrilled with her progress. What Spencer hadn’t warned her therapist was how much natural practice she had talking.

“I know what you’re going to say, but I am not ready to hear it,” Spencer pushed his instant mashed potatoes around his tray.

“When will you be ready? When I am back to work? When I can strut around in platforms again?” Penelope clutched his forearm. “Hey, look at me Boy Wonder.”

Spencer sniffled and patted her manicured hand on his arm.

“Those things might not happen--”

“Penelope, you are making great progress--” She put her finger on his interrupting mouth.

“They might not happen, so just in case. I forgive you. You, Spencer Reid, who did precisely as I asked and shot that traitor on the spot.”

“Penelope, I can’t accept that, not yet.”

“Well, tough, because I am going to tell you every chance I get.” She grinned at him, shaking her head with attitude.

Emily stood in the conference room at the local police station, she stretched her neck before addressing the team.

“They’re sure?” she asked Alvez who had just returned from the coroners’ office.

“There was no trace of anything in their systems, but some of these bodies are beyond evidence collection.” Alvez explained.

“If this is who we think it was, there wouldn’t be traces. The question is, why here? Wouldn’t he want us to know he was targeting the victims we saved?” Simmons asked.

“We need to call Spence, this can’t just be a coincidence.” JJ crossed her arms in her folding chair.

“Reid has refused to consult in the past, what makes you think he would help now?” Simmons asked in a low tone, he was hopefully curious.

“You tell him or Penelope it’s Scratch and they will be here or the bat cave.” JJ was staring down Emily’s ‘we shouldn’t be having this conversation face’.

Emily’s head snapped back and it hung there staring at the stained drop ceiling tiles. “I do not want Garcia on this, not yet.” Emily gave in.

Spencer’s afternoons were full; he saw some patients twice a week and others only once. The road to his personal recovery started with getting his therapist’s license. He wanted to be able to approach his trauma and doubts from every angle, it led him to helping others accept and process their physical injuries and restrictions. Garcia called him her caretaker, when she wasn’t flirting with the orderlies.

She was one of a handful of patients he didn’t see, ensuring he wasn’t blurring any lines between who were his patients and who were his friends. She wouldn’t have cooperated if he had tried to make an appointment with her in the first place. He was taking notes over the last ten minutes of the hour for his final patient of the day, when the landline phone rang on his desk. He had forgotten he had a direct line at the facility.

“Dr. Reid?” He answered.

“Spence?” JJ’s voice, of course they had her call him this time.

“JJ, how did Henry’s potato battery go?” He was ignoring the professional urgency in her voice.

“Uh, fine, he wants to try other food next. But, that’s not why I called.” Spencer’s mouth ticked, he thought for two seconds before biting his lips and exhaling.

“What’s the case?”

“You’re not going to like it.”

“As long as it is not a cult, I may be willing to help you out.”

“We think we found one of Scratch’s contingencies.”

“Where should I meet you?”

Penelope grew alarmed when Spencer didn’t say goodbye for the day, he always slipped her a Dum-Dum or a new trinket going into the weekend. He claimed it was for her muscle control, but she knew it was because he loved her. Which meant that his disappearing act was only because he had been taken away by someone or something else he loved.

Diana and the team battled inside her mind for the bigger dangers, she quickly wheeled back to her room and got her tablet out to Skype Kevin at Headquarters. His look of shock and dismay at her timing told Penelope she was on the right track.

“Penelope, hi, so nice to see your face,” Kevin gave his fakest smile ever.

“So, Kevin, remembering that I have, in fact, seen you naked. How long is it going to take to convince you to send me whatever my babies are working on?”

“Penelope, you are on medical leave, I am legally not allowed to share work with you or jail, all of us, jail.”

“Yeah, but think of all the juicy details I could share about you on the interwebs,” Penelope cooed.

“You’re hacking in remotely? How are you even doing this?! Not to mention that facility doesn’t have the speed for this?!”

JJ and Alvez met Spencer at the airport, Luke drove while JJ went over their findings. Spencer felt oddly comfortable in the standard issued SUV, despite not having been in the field for months.

“So your two theories are this was Scratch working a different angle or an unsub who was specifically targeting the BAU?”

“Pretty much.” Luke turned into the hotel’s parking lot.

“Have all of the victims been identified?”

“All but two, dental records on missing persons are taking a while,” JJ shrugged, clearly Kevin was a not Penelope.

“And those bodies that were identified all had ties to the team?”

“Uh, yes, though some of them are three degrees from Kevin Bacon, if you know what I’m saying.” Alvez added, sliding from the driver’s seat.

Spencer’s face constricted in to confusion, “The victims are tied to an actor?”

“No, Spence, it’s a pop culture game, ignore Luke.” JJ clucked, it was good to have his innocent side resurface after so long. They headed into the hotel for the night.

In the morning, there was word that the park rangers in the next county found a body near a cabin. Simmons and JJ went to check it out for connections. Meanwhile, Alvez, Lewis and Prentiss went over the victimology for the bodies from the mass grave with Spencer. Emily felt him doubting them and she couldn’t help but hold out hope he was right.

“Besides Carol Murray’s scratches, are there any other indicator of the use of fear or self harm?”

“Bernice De La Pena had defensive wounds, but nothing as extensive as Carol Murray’s.” Tara answered as Emily handed over photographs of the arms on the other woman.

Alvez’s phone rang, “Uh-oh, you too?! Let me put you on speaker.”

“Hey guys,” Rossi’s voice called out into the meeting space.

“Rossi?” Spencer’s voice hitched in surprise.

“Is that the kid, I knew something was up. What you got Emily?”

“Possible Scratch side attack, we’re probably jumping to the wrong conclusions, but we couldn’t be too careful.”

“That must be why Garcia left me those ominous messages. Anything you need from me?”

“Rossi, do the names Bernice De La Pena, Courtney Sanders and Stephanie Marx mean anything to you?” Tara recited from the list of identified victims.

“Not off the top of my head, should they?”

“One of the victims was a previous save for us, Carol Murray, but we aren’t seeing direct connections.” Emily continued.

“That’s why you brought in Reid?”

“One of many reasons,” Emily smirked at Spencer, he looked away. She held the phone, “We should get back at it, but we’ll keep you posted.”

“See ya, Rossi,” Luke took his phone back. “So, what are you seeing Reid?”

The body that JJ and Simmons were sent to inspect had clearly died of an animal attack, but the sheriff insisted they check out the cabin too. With little progress where the team was holed up, they decided to entertain the locals with a walk through. It was a simple, yet well decorated vacation home, it had running water, generator procured electricity, and a wood burning furnace. Matt glanced at JJ and they followed the deputy around back to the cellar.

Inside they knew they had made the right decision, there was no other word for it’s purpose than torture room. There were photographs of various women and animals pinned in different positions. JJ swallowed hard as she spotted Carol Murray’s face in unimaginable pain. Matt was already on his phone to Prentiss.

Emily closed her eyes, “Oh, thank God.”

Alvez and Spencer waited until she was done with the call before realizing their worst fears were unfulfilled. Mr. Scratch was not behind these murders.

“Spencer, I’m really sorry that we dragged you all the way out here,” Emily explained as she started gathering her things to head to the cabin and continue the investigation. “Luke will take you to the airport from here.”

“The case isn’t solved, Emily. If it’s alright with you, I would like to finish the profile. Especially since the unsub remains at large.” Spencer replied, he didn’t need to be rescued or sent away. Luke grinned, but tried to hide it as Emily’s face melted into secretively pleased.

“It’s good to have you back, SSA Reid,” Chief Prentiss nodded.

“It’s still Doctor, Emily,” Spencer smirked as he secured his messenger bag over his shoulder.

“You’re damn right it is,” Tara’s nose scrunched up and she patted him on the back.

The elevator inside FBI Headquarters still smelled the same, Spencer noticed as he was wedged beside his former teammates. They had registered him as a consultant with special clearance if he ever changed his mind about leaving the job. So with his special pass around his neck he stepped out into the familiar bullpen. It looked the same, even his desk remained untouched in his absence, the fact caused him mixed emotions.

Kevin came storming from the tech office in a near fit, “Chief Prentiss, hi, uh, I just want it, on the record, that there was nothing I could do. I couldn’t restrain her, she’s already partially paralyzed.”

Slowly Penelope made her appearance, “Oh boo-who, Tech Boy here couldn’t keep me from making sure my team was alright. Emily is not going to slap you with a sanction, Kevin.”

“But I could slap you with one,” Emily threatened.

“Moi?”

“Yeah, violating medical leave and hacking government servers,” Emily suggested, playing tough.

Everyone let the scene play out, though they were all bursting with laughter. JJ looked away while Luke and Simmons swallowed it and stood tall. Tara was as ever, unflinching. Spencer’s face was confused, “How did you even get released from the Rehab Facility?!”

“Oh, sweet, pure, Reid. Mama has her ways,” Penelope sighed. “Besides, there are medical transport vehicles available on Uber and Lyft. I got a ride in no time. Now, whose driving, because Rossi is waiting on us with the kettle on.”

Spencer wished he had the unstoppable optimism of Penelope, but when he looked around the room at the faces of the BAU team he felt nearly hopeful. His decision to walk away from this group of unwavering loyal and dedicated people was not one of selfishness. He regretted it and was certain of it in equal measure. His choices had caused his friends almost insurmountable pain over the past few years, had cost Stephen Walker his life and Penelope her ability to walk. His decision to teach and volunteer at Penelope’s Rehabilitation Facility had been the first choice he was proud of in a very long time. However much an act of penance it was.

The food was phenomenal, as always and the conversation was kept light. Rossi had some great stories about Kai and trying to find a place to live in the most ridiculous real estate market in the country. Penelope was beaming with her freedom and friend time. Tara and Luke were bantering as always, apparently the last blind date he had set her up with was a nightmare.

Emily approached him as JJ and Matt ducked out to head back to their families. “You know, you could work part time, like Tara.”

“Emily, I would have to be reinstated and I don’t think I am ready to have my gun back on my hip, just yet.”

“So what you’re saying is maybe?” There was a devilish glint to her eye.

“What? No, stop putting words in my mouth.” He smirked, she had him on the ropes and he knew it.

‘We don’t always have a choice in what happens to us, but you know what sometimes we do. And right now, I’m just asking you to make the choice to stay.” Emily said back verbatim.

“Fight for us, fight for the team.” Spencer continued, his voice a whisper as he recalled those words pouring from his own heart.

“It’s what we do.” Emily finished. “I know you’re not ready. You won’t even let Penelope forgive you. But, don’t give up on us, just yet. We haven’t given up on you.”

Spencer sighed, his tears burning as she looked back at him with the years of cases and personal loss behind them. “Okay.”

@dontshootmespence @illegalcerebral @literallyprentissstwin @cherry-loves-fanfic @mentallydatingspencerreid