#i finished way early if this is the chapter though
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what you know - ch6: intoxicated || r. sukuna
❦ ryomen sukuna x f!reader [college au] [ongoing series]
❝ you've heard his reputation and you've seen first-hand the way he's late to class if he even bothers to show up. paired with him for the most important project of the year, you choose to give him the benefit of the doubt- but maybe that's more than he deserves when your perfect grades depend on him, or maybe there's more to the aloof and irritable sukuna than meets the eye. ❞
❦ cw ; mdni, 18+ only. contains explicit sexual themes and content. use of alcohol. use of cannabis. use of nicotine/cigarettes. angst. hurt/no comfort. hurt/comfort. implied injury. family trauma. smut. slow burn. anxiety. tags will be updated as series continues.
❦ additional tags ; college parties and themes. sukuna ooc warning as this is a realistic take on modern sukuna. reader is fairly preppy and implied to be smaller than sukuna, but he's 6"11.
❦ words ; 12.7k.
main masterlist || series masterlist || previous chapter || next chapter - coming soon
Brushing the snow from his jacket, Sukuna flips his hood down and runs a hand through his disheveled hair. He’d gotten up early enough to work out before taking the kids to school, but in usual fashion, his overly-excitable little brother had been such a handful that Sukuna didn’t get a chance to finish getting ready. He opted for a shower and just threw on the first set of clothes he could find.
He blows a breath out through his nose, scanning the lunch hall. He hasn’t exactly worked out what the hell he’s planning on saying to you after last night, but a promise is a promise and he swore to join you for lunch. He’s failed you enough times.
He trudges up to your usual table with his hands in his pockets, his usual aloof expression plastered across his features, though it twists to confusion as he realizes you aren’t there.
Haibara’s the first to notice him as he pauses a small distance behind your blonde friend. Kento, Sukuna thinks?
“Hey, Sukuna!”
He grunts in reply, before inquiring about your whereabouts.
Shoko and Kento exchange a glance that Sukuna recognizes as cautionary. “She’s sick,” Shoko’s eyes twitch as she narrows her gaze on him suspiciously. “She is sick, right Sukuna?”
Although he doesn’t mind Shoko, he doesn’t like what she’s insinuating, even if she is right. Clenching his fists in his coat pockets, he scowls at her with a tense jaw. “How the hell should I know?”
Shoko’s gaze lingers a moment longer before she sighs, giving in. “She said she was studying at home today. She doesn’t want anyone getting sick before finals,” Shoko explains, swinging her fork around as she speaks.
“That’s nice of her,” Sukuna comments, shooting a pointed glance at Kento who won’t stop glaring at him, which only serves to piss him off further.
With a final nod of acknowledgement intended primarily for Shoko and Haibara, Sukuna turns on his heel and heads back out into the snow. He loathes the strange sensation lingering in the back of his mind that he’s retreating from Shoko and Kento’s scrutiny like a dog with its tail between its legs, but what other option does he have? He’s not about to fight with them. Pushing the thought to the back of his mind, he heads towards the library with the intention of sending you an email.
Once isolated in the cold again, he lets out a sigh as his breath billows into the freezing winter air. Contritefully, he watches as snowflakes fall slowly and dissolve on the sleeve of his coat.
Fuck.
Shoko had every right to drag him through the mud the way she had, he knows she’s right. You’re not sick. He would have believed it if you were still watching over his sick little brother, but that hasn’t been the case for a while. You’re avoiding him. Without classes, you chose to stay home and avoid the possibility of running into Sukuna.
Lightly kicking a rock as he steps through the snow, the burly man pokes the inside of his cheek with his tongue. He should be studying in the small amount of spare time he has. He should take extra shifts. He should go Christmas shopping for his brothers. He should meal prep. He should be doing anything other than skulking around campus thinking about the things going wrong in his life.
The worst part? Aside from one very large and glaring issue, you’re the source of all of his problems. Well, no, that’s not fair to you. You just happen to be at the center of all of them, but if he’s honest with himself, he knows there’s more to it than that.
You may be the source of all of his problems, but Sukuna is the cause of each and every one of them.
Taking a step towards the rock he kicked earlier, he sends it flying into the brick of the library with a satisfying thunk before ducking into the building.
Settling quietly in the corner of the library, Sukuna pulls out his laptop and opens his email, doing his best not to think too hard about what he’s typing.
[email protected] - Friday, 12:11 PM heard youre sick. you okay?
After hitting send, he leans over the table, running his hands over his face to mentally reset himself before diving into his studies.
To Sukuna’s relief, you do reply to his email just over an hour into his studies. He knows he fucked up, but at least you’re still acknowledging him this time.
[email protected] - Friday, 1:34 PM Yeah, sorry. I forgot to tell you.
He frowns at the sight of your email. It’s an awfully dry response in comparison to your usual bright demeanor. His fingers rest idly over his keyboard as he contemplates his reply.
[email protected] - Friday, 1:38 PM right. need anything
[email protected] - Friday, 1:38 PM ?
[email protected] - Friday, 1:59 PM I’m not going to ask you for soup, Sukuna.
Okay, so you’re at least a little bit mad at him. He slumps back in his chair, staring at the ceiling.
He could bring you soup.
He could. He remembers you liking the bowl from the cafe he took you to.
He clenches his hand into a fist while biting down hard enough on his lip to draw blood. What the fuck is he thinking? Finals are next week, he’s hardly studied, he has to pick up his brothers in an hour and he has work all weekend.
He doesn’t have time to chase after his frayed connection to you.
His eyes trail across the speckled library ceiling. There’s a water stain just to the left of where he sits. He remembers thinking those sorts of marks were coffee when he was a kid. In retrospect, that makes no sense.
Hell, it makes about as much sense as Sukuna’s obsession with you as of late. He doesn’t have the time, nor the mental capacity to be sitting here stewing over an email that he could be reading too much into.
Leaning forward over the table with a huff, his fingers run across the keys on his laptop as he formulates a reply that’s painfully him.
[email protected] - Friday, 2:09 PM feel better
It doesn’t shock him that you don’t reply this time.
–
For the better part of the week, a feeling of unease seems to follow Sukuna like a fly he can’t seem to swat away. Even through finals, he finds himself wanting nothing more than to slam his head against his desk in hopes that thoughts of his fuck up might finally leave.
Yet the taste of you always remains on his tongue.
Bittersweet, like the sweetest memory tainted with the reminder that it never should have happened.
It was a mistake.
Throwing his hood up over his head, he leaves the school with one thing in mind.
Your fratboy friend is throwing his end of finals party tonight and Sukuna has every intention to drink to forget. To forget about the lawsuit, to forget about the ways he’s failed his little brothers, and most importantly: to forget about you.
He knows the feeling won’t last forever, but shit, it’ll be worth the way that he pleaded with Choso’s friend’s mother to take Yuji for the night too for a sleepover.
He just needs to escape for the night. He can worry about mentally resetting himself tomorrow morning when he wakes up with a killer hangover on some disgusting couch in Gojo’s ridiculous and over-decorated house.
Until then, he’ll continue on with his day as usual, picking up his brothers from school and cooking something to eat.
“Kuna Kuna Kuna Kuna Kuna Kuna Kuna Kuna-”
“What?”
“- Kuna Kuna Kuna Kuna Kuna Kuna Kuna-”
“Brat! What do you want?” He shoots a look of irritation at his little brother as the youngest Itadori bounds up to him with some sort of craft in his hand.
Sukuna sets his spatula down, leaning down to get a better view of the beaded creation in Yuji’s hand. There’s a yellow lizard dappled in black spots proudly seated atop his outstretched hand as though he’s a mad scientist showing off his greatest creation.
“It’s a lizard.”
“It’s a gecko,” the little boy proudly corrects him.
Sukuna’s nose wrinkles in exasperation. “Same thing.”
“No. They’re not.” This, of course, launches into a five minute explanation of the difference between lizards and geckos, which Sukuna hums along to as he rises back to his full height to continue cooking dinner.
“- so geckos are lizards but they’re not the same as lizards,” Yuji finishes his explanation, tugging at his older brother’s hoodie to hold out his gecko again. “This one’s a leopard gecko.”
“Didn’t know you liked lizards so much, Yu.” Sukuna’s tone is mild, a calm expression plastered on his face. Yuji’s interests change by the day, the only constant seeming to be pokemon and sports, though he’s gone from basketball to tennis to hockey over the course of the last year. Not that Sukuna can afford his interest in hockey, and cautiously pushed him back towards basketball.
Turns out when you’re five, all you need is for your cool older brother to install a basketball net on the back of your door and lift you up to do a slam dunk to be enthralled with the sport again. Sukuna thanks god for that.
“I love lizards!” He beams.
Sukuna hums, a rare smile pulling at his lips. “It’s a nice bead gecko.”
“Leopard gecko. Thanks Kuna! Guess who showed us how to make them?”
The corner of his lip twitches as he stares down at the spotted bead lizard. There’s no shock when Yuji says your name. The shock comes from the dreadful feeling that sits like a stone in the base of his stomach at just the sound of your name.
Fuck, he needs a drink.
“Can I show her?”
“No, Yu.”
“Please?”
“No-”
“Please? Pleeeeeeeaaaaaase?”
This has been a repeating situation practically all week. Yuji seemed to want to show every little thing to you and won’t relent until Sukuna sends an email. He would demand to know what you replied each and every time, and while there’s a part of Sukuna that’s grateful it gave him an excuse to reach out and hold onto your tense relationship, it equally caused him to relive his guilty conscience.
Sukuna sighs, giving in to the relentless pleading of his youngest brother.
“Fine. Let me finish dinner.”
With a cheer, Yuji runs off excitedly to inform Choso to prepare his best lizard to send a photo.
Sukuna’s shoulders rise and fall heavily as he lets out a breath. He stares down at the pan in front of him, the sizzling of gnocchi and tomato sauce offering little distraction from his wandering thoughts.
It seemed no matter what he did, you were so ingrained in his life that he couldn’t escape you.
To say that’s what he wanted in the first place would be a lie. No, he never wanted to escape. He still doesn’t. He just wants things to go back to the way they were before he let his dick do all the thinking and kissed you.
If he wanted to escape, he wouldn’t have searched for you in the crowds during finals. He wouldn’t have frustratedly tossed his textbook on his desk with a thump that made Choso jump and come check on him. Your words echoed in his mind as he feigned a smirk and sent the boy away.
He’s worried about you.
Choso’s too smart for his age. He should be playing games with his friends, begging to see a PG-13 rated movie, anything but worrying about his own guardian.
The pop of tomato sauce brings him back to the present, and he hisses at the feeling of the boiling liquid hitting his forearm. He sets the spatula aside, shutting off the stove and wiping the sauce off with his thumb, popping it into his mouth with a pop!
He needs to get his shit together.
He calls the kids into the dining area for dinner, and before long he’s sitting in front of his laptop, the screen pointed at his brothers, waiting for Choso and Yuji to position themselves in front of the camera with big smiles. In Yuji’s hand is the leopard gecko that he figures you must have told him about, proudly displayed with a toothy smile. Choso’s lizard is a dark purple with a white stripe, his smile more reserved but his eyes shine just as bright.
Sukuna snaps the photo, pulling his laptop back towards him. Yuji clambers onto Sukuna’s lap, met with a grunt and a mildly irritated “enough, Yu.” Choso peers at the laptop screen quietly, watching as Sukuna opens his email chain with you. The last few emails between you both are almost the same as this one, typing out that the kids wanted to show you their lizards.
Your replies to his brothers’ antics have been more positive than your replies to him. He wonders if you knew they were constantly asking about your responses or if the rift between you was healing, but he assumes the former. You’re good with his brothers. They adore you, and you seem to feel the same towards them.
“Tell her my new favorite lizard is um-” Yuji pauses to think, pulling Sukuna back to the present. It seems he’s lost in thought a lot lately. “A frilled lizard!”
“Mm.” He glances at Choso, urging the young boy to choose one as well.
“I like… iguanas.”
Sukuna nods, typing out the boys’ message to you before hitting send. “There. Now go get ready for your sleepover.”
He lets out a sigh as his brothers restlessly go bursting out the door back to their rooms to pack a bag, ensuring they bring just about every unnecessary toy and game and no toothbrush or toothpaste to be found. Exhausted from his finals, he drags himself along after them, packing jackets, gloves, extra socks and toiletries in their stead with a lazy scolding to be more careful.
He’s beyond burnt out and while he usually resents the mother of Choso’s friend for her obviously pitious comments towards Sukuna’s situation, for once he’s glad for her sympathy. If it means he gets just one full night to himself where he can fuck off and forget about all his problems, then he’ll take it. He’ll run with it and he won’t look back.
Once he’s loaded their backpacks into the lady’s car and provided his neighbor’s number in case of emergencies, he finds himself slumping back in his bed in relief. Despite his solace, the silence carries with it an eerie sense of foreboding. He doesn’t think he’s been alone in the comfort of his own home in almost three years now, and it should be a freeing feeling, yet he’s filled with trepidation in place of relaxation.
“Fuck this,” he mutters, dragging his hands down his face. He’s never been early to a party before but fuck it, he needs to dull the sharp edges of worry and doubt with alcohol. Grabbing his keys, he opens his locked bedside table drawer, violently shoving aside ripped legal papers to grab a few blunts and a shooter of Jack Daniels. His hand hovers over a small bottle of Everclear, but he opts to keep it for a later date, certain he’ll need the hard liquor another time.
Shutting and locking the drawer, he languidly begins getting ready, moving at a sluggish pace as he runs gel through his hair in order to get it spiked just how he prefers. He grabs a Danzig shirt, the sleeves chopped at the sides with arm holes deep enough that anyone could get a peek at his abs and chest. Topping it off with a black denim long sleeve and a pair of gray joggers, he rolls his sleeves up to his elbows and throws on some cologne.
He pauses before heading out the door, his laptop seeming to loom over him like a ghost, begging him to check his email.
[email protected] - Friday, 7:51 PM Yuji!! Choso!! Those both look amazing!! You’re both so creative, it looks like it runs in the family :) Iguanas and frilled lizards are great choices. Maybe if you can steal your big brother’s laptop for a bit, you can find a bead frog tutorial. My favorite is the desert rain frog! They kind of remind me of your brother. ;)
It reminds you of him? A frog?
A quick google search has him scowling at his screen, an equally grumpy looking frog staring back at him.
Stupid. It’s stupid. He shouldn’t have looked.
Shutting the search window, his eyes train once more on your message to his brothers. Despite the fact that he wrote the email, you still seem to be upset with him, choosing to answer as though his brothers wrote it. At least you still teased him about looking like a frog.
Even if it’s stupid. It’s a stupid frog.
Slamming his laptop shut, he tosses his coat on, pockets his broken lighter in the side that isn’t singed, and makes his way out the door towards campus and Gojo’s frat house.
The weather has warmed up significantly over the past week to the point where he can’t see his breath anymore, although the ground is still coated in a thick layer of snow. Pulling out a blunt from his pocket between two deft fingers, he sets it between his lips, lighting the end and inhaling deeply.
Among the many poor decisions Sukuna has made throughout his life, he didn’t mind adding tonight to his list if it meant drinking to forget and smoking to feel calm.
Although he’s earlier than most of the crowd, the music is already pumping loudly through speakers, bass booming through the ground beneath his feet as he makes his way up the porch stairs. He doesn’t recognize the frat boy letting people in, but one disinterested glare from Sukuna is all it takes for him to step aside. After all, who wouldn’t recognize Sukuna?
Swapping his lighter to his joggers’ pocket, he tosses his jacket over a coat rack and heads further into the house in search of something hard to get him buzzed as soon as possible. He blows smoke over the heads of most of the crowd, one of the perks of being nearly seven feet tall, as he heads towards the back of the house where he knows he’ll find the kitchen.
The further he moves from the makeshift dance floor in the front living area, the more reasonable the music volume becomes. College students chatter amongst each other, speaking loudly over the pumping bass, when a familiar voice grabs his attention.
“You made it!”
“Hey, buddy.”
“Well, well, look who decided to show his face.”
Sharp crimson irises flit between Uraume and Atsuya, who greet him casually, landing lastly on none other than Toji Zenin. Always at odds with Sukuna with a shit-eating grin as he pushes the pink-haired man’s buttons just a little bit too far.
“Uraume. Atsuya. Toji.”
It’s a miracle he still considers Toji a friend. Well, maybe an acquaintance. He certainly won’t bring Toji into the fray that is his life any time soon.
And Atsuya, well… The Kusakabe family is known for wealth, so Sukuna likes to keep him at arms’ length as well. Still, he enjoys his company. Uraume is easily his closest friend and he won’t deny that seeing them seems to ease his tension, even if only a little bit.
“So, finally decided we’re worth your time again? Or did you mess shit up with your girl?” Toji barks out a laugh, as though anything he’s saying is humorous.
“She ain’t my girl,” Sukuna growls, making a point of blowing smoke towards him.
“Dunno, you two seemed pretty close at lunch last week.” The scar on the corner of his lip stretches as he grins, taking a sip of whatever concoction is in his solo cup.
“Fuck off, Zenin,” Sukuna grumbles with a roll of his eyes. Toji should consider himself lucky he isn’t about to be at the center of Sukuna’s anger, saved only by the cannabis circling Sukuna’s system and dulling his thoughts, his anger, his mind. With a huff, Sukuna heads towards the kitchen to grab a drink.
“I see he still enjoys getting on your nerves,” Uraume observes, falling into step with him.
“Mm. Dunno how ya tolerate that asshole so much,” he comments, coming to a stop in the kitchen where he stubs out his blunt in an ashtray and opens the first bottle of rum he can find, pouring himself a rum and coke.
That is, if you can consider something that’s sixty percent rum a ‘rum and coke’.
“Me too, please,” Uraume requests. Sukuna hums, pouring a much more reasonable split of alcohol for them. “You can complain as much as you would like about Toji, but I know you two used to be close. Even if he can be a pain, I can tell you aren’t as bothered as you wish for him to believe.”
It’s true. Back in high school, the two were inseparable. Toji didn’t even mind when Sukuna’s father asked the two to take young Choso along to a basketball court or movie, so long as it was appropriate. Their issues came when Sukuna’s father passed away in their first year of college and he refused to speak with his best friend about it, choosing instead to take on mountains of stress on his own. As usual, Sukuna was the cause of his own problems.
Moving out of the dorms and finding a place for his two kid brothers to stay with him, that was a whole other challenge. Learning to change diapers, figuring out a schedule that worked both for the kids’ school and his education, that was what nearly dragged Sukuna to an early grave when he got horribly sick.
That’s where Uraume stepped in, helping to alleviate some of his classwork by taking on additional project work for him. They always expected something in return, but that’s just the way Sukuna preferred to make deals. They helped him get into the swing of taking care of two young kids.
Somewhere along that path, he came to the realization that they’d also had a big piece in both his and Choso’s recovery from grief. Sukuna had grown angry and Choso hardly spoke a word. Although still irritable, Sukuna is generally more reasonable nowadays and although still quiet, Choso is more talkative than he has been in a long time.
In particular with you. He knows Choso adores you, although he’s not as loud as Yuji is about it. Yuji may as well scream it from the tops of buildings.
Taking an unreasonably large sip of his drink, he wills away thoughts of you, replacing what he gulped down with more rum.
Uraume’s brow raises. “Difficult day?”
“Somethin’ like that,” he grumbles, alcohol and cannabis running through his veins and sending his mind into a haze so that he just might be able to handle Toji. “How’ve you been?”
“I’m relieved finals are over,” Uraume takes a sip of their drink with a small smile. “And it’s good to see you around again.”
“I saw you two days ago,” Sukuna points out, arching a brow.
They hum. “Yes, but Toji has a point. You’ve been spending more time with your project partner than us, which is unusual for you.”
He sighs. “Shit, guess I have.”
“Don’t misunderstand me, Sukuna. I know you’re busy, and I can see she means a lot to you, but-”
“She’s just a project partner.”
Uraume purses their lips as they side-eye him. “... Right. Remind me, when did your project end?”
Sukuna’s jaw clenches, shooting them a sharp look.
“As I was saying, I can see that she means a lot to you, so I don’t mind. I do wish you would get a new phone as I do miss texting, but our friendship won’t change.” They shoot him a reassuring smile, one that Sukuna lowers his defenses at the sight of.
“However Toji and Atsuya aren’t aware of your situation, which makes it appear as though you’re spending all of your time with her.” Uraume takes a sip of their drink, carding a hand through their snowy locks.
“Mm.” Sukuna runs his tongue over his lower lip as they approach the couch that Toji’s splayed himself over, manspreading with a bottle of beer held in one fist. He recognizes Toji’s cousin Naoya Zenin on the other end of the couch, surprised the two can even stand to be within five feet of one another. Toji may be an asshole, but somewhere buried beneath all that muscle is a fairly genuine person. Naoya, on the other hand, is the kind of person Sukuna wouldn’t mind socking in the face once or twice.
“So,” Toji starts, that infuriating grin returning. “Tell us ‘bout your girl.”
Sukuna chooses to stand between Atsuya and Uraume, his two friends who are decidedly less irritating. It’s a wonder him and Toji were ever close to begin with, though Sukuna supposes he was a lot different back when they hung out more.
The world had changed Sukuna, hardened him into a shell of what he once was.
“I told you, Zenin,” Sukuna hisses, “she’s not my girl.”
Toji scoffs, a wide grin across his face. “Yeah right. Ya got fuckin’ heart-eyes for her. Holdin’ her hand in the lunch hall n’ shit.”
Sukuna downs more of his rum, relishing in the burn as it slides down his throat. “We were studying, shithead. I owe her a favor, that’s all.”
“Yeah? You gonna bring her home n’ cuddle all cute-like?” The raven-headed man teases.
Atsuya sighs at Sukuna’s side, chewing idly on a toothpick. “Can you two shut up?” He grumbles, knuckles white as he grips his beer bottle tighter at the grating sound of their argument. “Giving me a damn headache.”
“C’mon Atsuya, I know ya saw it too,” Toji eggs both men on.
“Toji, enough,” Uraume scolds.
“Nah, I know Atsuya saw it.”
A muscle ticks in Sukuna’s jaw, his teeth grinding as he does what he can to push his frustrations aside. Turns out a full solo cup and blunt aren’t enough to dull Sukuna’s senses to the point where he can tolerate this conversation.
He’s supposed to be forgetting, yet here Toji is pushing the thought of you back in his face, infuriating him.
He downs the rest of his rum in two gulps, staring at the empty cup with a scowl, completely dazed as he tunes out the sound of his friends.
Heart-eyes. As-fucking-if. He scoffs to himself at the thought, staring back over the heads of the crowd towards the kitchen. He needs something harder after all. He should have brought the Everclear.
His relationship with you is similar to that of him and Uraume, he’s sure of it. It doesn’t go beyond that.
So why is he drinking to forget you?
Finally pulled from his thoughts, he turns on his heel to get something harder when he realizes where the conversation has turned in his absence.
Naoya questioningly tilts his head at Toji, a sleazy grin on his face as your name leaves his lips. Sukuna’s lip instinctively curls in disgust at the sound of your name leaving his lips. That’s not where it belongs, and Sukuna doesn’t dare imagine a world where this asshole so much as looks at you, because he thinks it just might give him an aneurysm.
Hell, he thinks an aneurysm would be kinder than the thought of Naoya Zenin ever looking your way.
“She’s fuckin’ hot, she’d look sexy as hell under-” Naoya’s gaze seems to search the crowd for you, a predatory gleam in his eyes. Toji interrupts with a distasteful snarl, but it’s Sukuna’s words that seem to cut the crowd, red hot rage boiling in his chest.
“Don’t you dare fucking finish that sentence,” Sukuna barks, his tone low as he takes a step towards the vile excuse for a human being.
Naoya hardly seems phased by Sukuna’s outburst, although the throng of the crowd has dimmed in the face of Sukuna’s fury. “Aw, is she claimed, Sukuna? Is she your little playth-”
Sukuna barrels forward, not offering Naoya the time of day to speak.
Naoya’s eyes widen as Sukuna’s fist raises, barely managing to cower out of the way in time as Sukuna’s knuckles narrowly miss the blonde’s face and collide with the back of the couch. His eyes swirl with a ferocity that his friends haven’t seen before as they all leap towards him. Atsuya and Toji grab either of his arms and with a harsh pull from Toji, Sukuna stumbles backwards. They’re lucky he’s tipsy and not as stable as usual.
“Woah buddy, I’m all for teaching him a lesson, but let’s not start shit right now.” Atsuya speaks from a place of reason, but Sukuna knows he simply doesn’t want their group to get thrown out by Gojo.
… Again.
At least last time, it was Toji who started shit with Naoya.
Sukuna’s teeth are gritted as his friends hold him back. Naoya’s face has twisted from barely disguised fear into a satisfied smirk. “Did I touch a nerve, big guy?”
Sukuna lunges forward, stumbling back into the wall behind him as Toji pulls him back harshly. He grunts as his back collides with the wall, venom dripping from each syllable as he speaks in a dangerous tone. “If I hear you talkin’ about anyone like that again, I won’t hesitate to throw you through the nearest fucking wall.” Sukuna stares down at his knuckles that collided with the wooden back of the couch. They’re not bleeding, but they’ll bruise.
Naoya opens his mouth to retort, but his words die in his throat when Sukuna pushes off the wall, standing at his full height. Naoya’s tall, but Sukuna makes everyone look short. His usual smug expression falls as he chooses the cowardly option and slips away with an irritated grumble. The crowd that had gathered to watch the spat slowly begins to return to their conversations again, not daring to shoot a glance at the monstrous man spitting threats at the back of the room.
Sukuna huffs, flexing his hand as he moves past his friends to head back towards the kitchen, shoving his way through the crowd. He’s tipsy, but fuck, it’s not enough.
His brothers, his friends, even Naoya, why does everything constantly lead back to you? It’s like you’re some sort of succubus with your claws buried deep within the recesses of his mind that he can’t escape. Yet even as he spins the cap off of a bottle of Jack, he realizes it's his resentment of the way you’re so deeply ingrained in his life that’s causing him to think such a thing.
You’re not a succubus, you’re more like a fairy. Soft, sweet, and kind.
Sukuna pauses his motions, staring down at the bottle. His fingers drum lightly on the stem of the glass as something akin to distress stirs deep within him. He grips the bottle with white knuckles, his throat tight. Before he has time to consider what it is that you mean to him, Toji comes jogging over.
“Hey, everythin’ alright, man?”
The look on his face reminds Sukuna of a time long past. Of late nights at barely-lit skateparks as Sukuna learned the ropes of graffiti. Of long afternoons chatting as they passed a basketball back and forth in the late afternoon sun. It wasn’t so long ago but it feels like a lifetime after the battering Sukuna’s last few years have caused him.
“Why the hell is he even invited?” The pink-haired brute gruffs rather than offering a reply to Toji.
No, he’s not okay.
“Everyone’s invited, Ryo.”
Sukuna shoots him a glare. Everyone’s gotta have a nickname for him, don’t they? He sighs heavily, letting out a long breath before downing several gulps of Jack straight from the bottle. Just once, he wishes he was a lightweight.
He just wants his mind to go blank. He wants the racing thoughts to stop.
“Woah, let’s pace ourselves, yeah?” Toji reaches out to grab the bottle with a grimace, eyeing his long-time friend as he sets the Jack down and pours them both much more reasonable looking ratios of rum to coke. “Alright, so I guess you’re not okay. That’s fine,” he mumbles as he passes Sukuna a cup. “Let’s jus’ go have some drinks, forget about my cousin, yeah?”
With a barely veiled huff, Sukuna pushes off the counter as he follows after Toji.
Sitting alongside Toji and Uraume, a haze begins to settle over his mind that finally leaves him more comfortable. His anger dissipates and he eases more casually into conversation with his friends, something he’s needed more than ever before.
Finally, even if only for a night, he can forget.
–
“Shoko, this goes so low,” you whisper as though saying it any louder might proclaim it to the entire world.
“Yeah, that’s the point,” she retorts, grinning at you in the mirror.
“But it’s winter,” you whine, staring in the mirror at the black dress that, admittedly, does hug your curves just right, but god you feel exposed. It’s also not your usual style, and you know exactly what Shoko’s doing and why.
Ever since you mentioned being sick, she’s been on your ass about what Sukuna did, regardless of how adamant you are that he did nothing.
It’s a lie and you haven’t fooled a soul.
Sukuna did hurt you.
Again.
This time, though, there’s a certain trepidation that sits alongside the pang of hurt. Like you’re not quite sure that you’re allowed to feel hurt, so you hide it behind a smile and a lie that Sukuna did nothing wrong.
No amount of stewing over what happened in Sukuna’s bedroom has given you any answers. You’re stuck somewhere in between feeling guilty for ever expecting anything romantic from him and feeling hurt that his best attempt to reach out was a sad ‘feel better’.
Hours of wondering if all you are to him is another warm body in his bed, even though the rational part of you knows it doesn’t make sense when no one knows his reality except you. Hours of wondering if he feels anything towards you at all or if he simply doesn’t care.
Yet your mind clung to one thing, one thin string that seemed to tie to an impossible ideal. Still, you couldn’t push the thought away.
If you really mean nothing to Sukuna, why is he acting weird? Why won’t he reach out properly, hiding behind his brothers? Why hasn’t he completely pushed you away?
If you were nothing more than a babysitter, he wouldn’t bother reaching out, right?
But if you were nothing more than a warm body to him, why hasn’t he pushed you away?
Shoko scoffs, the sound grounding you to the present. “Girl, you know Gojo will let us use his closet for our jackets. That’s your worst excuse yet.” She rolls her eyes, tossing your winter coat at you. “No more complaining, we’re going.”
You cast one more glance at the frilly black dress that barely reaches your knees and follow after Shoko.
The air is warmer than you expect, making your argument even less valid the moment you’re outside. You don’t bother to refute Shoko’s triumphant teasing, even as she mentions all the people you’ll surely attract in that dress.
Your stomach stirs uneasily at the thought.
As the staple at Gojo’s parties that you two are, the frat boy at the entrance shoots you both a kind grin as he lets you through. Why they bother with a bouncer at a party everyone on campus received an invite for is beyond you, but you return the smile regardless.
The thrum of music and thick scent of liquor, weed, and perspiration suffocates your senses as you enter the house. It’s familiar, and you know exactly where Gojo and Geto will be tucked away. Nanami and Haibara headed home practically the moment finals ended.
Making your way past the kitchen and grabbing a cooler, you slip past a game of beer pong and peer out the patio to the backyard. Sure enough, the snow’s been cleared and a massive fire pit is raging in the corner. Geto and Gojo are sitting around the fire alongside a few other frat members you recognize and some women very obviously vying for a place on one of their arms.
“My two favorite ladies!” Satoru calls out as you carefully make your way over the packed snow, trying desperately not to slip in your heels. You wrap your arms around yourself, thankful for the raging fire as you and Shoko take your seats between Satoru and Suguru.
“Why do you wanna sit outside?” You mumble, holding your hands out to the fire.
Suguru chuckles beside you. “I tried to convince him otherwise, but he wouldn’t have it.”
“It’s warm tonight!” The snowy-haired man insists with an overdramatic pout.
“Just because it’s not freezing doesn’t make it warm, dumbass,” Shoko rolls her eyes, pulling out a pack of cigarettes. She offers them to the group, though only Suguru takes one. She leans over you to light it for him, smoke billowing in the air around you.
With a drink in your hand and your friends at your side, conversation comes easily and you all keep close to the fire, stoking it often to keep a steady flame. Eventually, the mix of the flame and the alcohol warms you up and with toasty cheeks, you’re staring at the fire with a steady buzz.
“How do you think your finals went?” Suguru inquires, leaning back in his camping chair.
“Killed it,” you reply confidently, eyes glazed with the thrill of vodka. “I even think I nailed history,” you proudly tell him, straightening your posture with a gleam in your eyes.
“Mmm, would a particular history major have to do with that?” He asks, a teasing lilt to his smooth voice. Your proud stance falters, your cheeks heating up further as you can only offer him a shy smile, too inebriated to defend yourself as your stomach jumps at the mere thought of him. Suguru chuckles. “I see. I’m just teasing, I won’t push like Shoko does.”
“Hey! I’m a great friend,” she narrows her eyes in a playful scowl, though Suguru just grins.
After the busy last month of the semester, not to mention finals, you’re relieved to share warm moments like these with your friends, reveling in the jokes and laughter filling the air around you.
Being able to indulge in partying is a relief too. Although Satoru does it every second or third day, you can’t partake in the same luxuries and still expect to pass. Life isn’t quite as kind to you as it seems to be for the blue-eyed campus royalty. Between your studies and looking after Choso and Yuji, you’ve had your time well-occupied for the past month.
That’s not even beginning to mention the resumes you’ve been editing for some quick cash, on top of your own.
Not that it’ll be enough extra cash to get you home for Christmas. You know your parents tried, but they’re already doing their best to pay for your apartment and day-to-day expenses. At the end of the day, you can’t sacrifice any of your savings for a trip home, as much as you would like to.
You just have to hold onto the fact that you’ll see them once you start working. Most of your friends will go home for Christmas, but that’s okay. Nanami even offered to pay your way home and have you join him and Haibara, but that just didn’t seem fair, as much as you wanted to take him up on his offer.
You’ll enjoy your time video chatting and maybe take some time to visit Satoru and Suguru’s families, who’ve kindly invited you along.
“Deep in thought?”
“Hm?”
Suguru smiles, amused. “Distracted, are we?”
Your cheeks heat up, embarrassed. “Sorry. What were you saying?” You offer him a kind smile.
“I was offering another drink, would you like me to grab you something?” He taps your empty can.
“Oh! Actually, I’ll come with you I think.”
Suguru hums, leading the way back towards Satoru’s kitchen with a much wider gait than your own. “What are you having?”
“Just whatever cooler is fine,” you shrug as he leans down into the fridge. He pulls out a couple of coolers to give you options, returning to the fridge with the can you choose not to take.
Your eyes scan the crowd from the kitchen with a mirthful, albeit dazed expression that falters when you come face-to-face with the one person who’s been a constant in your thoughts for the past week.
He’s hard to miss, towering over the crowd with a head of pink hair and sharp tattoos decorating his features. Your heart pounds in your chest at the mere sight of him. Clearly a week away from him has done your heart no favors.
Sukuna looks good. You’re so accustomed to seeing him exhausted in deep blue coveralls or a big hoodie with wet, disheveled hair and a frown that seeing him with a relaxed smirk, his hair pushed back out of his face and a chain sat around his neck, he looks handsome.
You bite your lip, tearing your gaze away from him to turn back to Suguru. A knowing smirk has found its way onto Suguru’s face and he chuckles. “Go talk to him.”
Of course, he doesn’t know about the strange fissure sitting soundly between you and Sukuna, but you appreciate his encouragement nonetheless. Even if his tone is teasing, he does have a much more genuine way of handling things than Satoru would have.
For a moment, you do consider Suguru’s encouragement, turning back to Sukuna in the corner of the house, but your heart drops as the crowd shifts.
Standing in front of Sukuna is a tall woman with long, blonde hair. You recognize her from the Volleyball team, she’s gorgeous and Sukuna’s leaning down, his lips close to her ear as he blatantly flirts with her. His eyes are lidded and tinged in red, likely both drunk and high, and he chuckles along to something the blonde says.
Blinking a couple of times, you feel your heart sinking, green with envy. You appreciate Suguru’s encouragement, but maybe you should resign yourself to a world where your feelings remain unrequited and you’re just friends with Sukuna. That is, if he even still wants to be around you. He’s so difficult and hard to read and that’s not to mention the fact he hasn’t even attempted to talk about the heated kiss-
Sukuna’s eyes flicker upwards, meeting yours and stopping. His lidded expression falters, lips pursed. His brow furrows as the woman tugs on his shirt to get his attention and pull him closer, his gaze flickering between her and you.
You tear your gaze from him, turning back to Suguru. With a light touch to his bicep to get his attention as he pours himself something, you force a smile. “I think I’m gonna go find a quiet corner to get some air,” you tell him, slinking away before he can protest. With one final glance back at Sukuna, who’s returned his attention to the blonde, you slip into the crowd.
Pushing through sweaty bodies, the bass and crowd seems to box you in. Your heart is racing too fast, your mind too buzzed, your world too hazy to be trying to handle this many people.
Finding the stairs brings with it a sense of relief, no longer suffocated by the loud music and overwhelming smell of liquor. On the top floor, several of the rooms are shut, telltale signs of couples finding makeshift privacy and you don’t dare peek into any of them. You head straight for Satoru’s room, knowing well that it’ll be locked, and knowing equally well that you have the digital code to get in.
2-3-7-8.
B-E-S-T.
Cocky as ever.
Slipping inside, you shut the door behind you and take a breath as the ringing in your ears gradually begins to mute. Taking a seat on the edge of Gojo’s bed, you let out a long breath. You’ve spent hours on end in this exact spot, watching Satoru and Suguru compete in Super Smash Bros long after you and Shoko had been knocked out.
It doesn’t usually feel so lonely.
Pulling out your phone from within your bra, the only place you could store it, you find yourself doom-scrolling whatever social media has new content. It’s a poor effort to return to the happy state you’d found yourself in only a few minutes ago, and unsurprisingly it doesn’t return.
You’re not sure how long you sit in that spot, but with nothing left to scroll, you get to your feet and pad slowly towards the window, staring out towards the balcony that overlooks the backyard. Flipping the lock, you step out into the chill air, but it hardly seems to touch you, protected by the warmth of liquor in your veins.
You should probably get a coat given that the alcohol won’t really protect you and you’re not close enough to the fire to bask in its heat, but you don’t think you care enough. Not if it means seeing the one person whose presence suffocates you. The crowd is one thing, but Sukuna seems to outweigh every single one of them with just one glance. He crowds your world in a way a group of sweaty unknown college students can’t.
You wonder if maybe you had found him earlier in the night, if maybe you would have had the courage to ask about the kiss. Liquid courage maybe, but courage nonetheless.
You wonder if he would have told you it meant nothing and to move on from him. You wonder if he would have told you to fuck off. If you’re nothing to him.
Yet somehow those don’t seem to scratch the surface of the complicated canyon of emotions that holds you both at arms’ length. Each possibility is too simple.
With a sigh, you cross your arms over the balcony, letting the cold metal raise goosebumps along your skin as you rest your chin on them. Down below, your friends seem like they’re having a good time. Shoko’s attention is on another brunette you recognize from your history class while Satoru and Suguru joke alongside some other frat members.
You long to be a part of that, but you know you would be feigning a smile if you returned.
You shouldn’t be this drunk and this jealous when Sukuna isn’t yours and never has been. Hell, he hasn’t even spoken to you in-person since the kiss.
Maybe you’re this jealous because you’re this drunk.
“Need a jacket?”
You startle at the sound of Sukuna’s voice, a mix of dread, uncertainty, and jealousy raging in your system.
“You scared me,” you murmur, standing upright. Great, just who you want to see.
Sukuna hums. “My bad.” Shutting the balcony door behind him, he takes a couple of steps forward until he’s next to you, though he keeps an uneasy distance between you.
The drop-off between you is so evident it’s almost as though it’s real and physically repelling you from one another. Sukuna shuffles, the silence unbearable to his inebriated mind as he blurts out the first thing that comes to mind.
“I didn’t fuck her.”
You sigh, rolling your eyes as the shed in the corner of the yard suddenly becomes of great interest. “Don’t say it like that…” you mumble, wrapping your arms around yourself.
“I didn’t have sex with ‘er.”
You sigh again. The phrasing wasn’t really the point behind your words, but he’s either too drunk, too high, or too focused on the way you took a step away from him to notice. “It’s none of my business, Sukuna.”
He doesn’t know what to say to fix this. You’re talking to him, and that’s a start, but he’s way too far gone to soundly come up with an apology that makes sense, so his mouth just starts running.
“My apartment’s overrun with lizards.”
Even upset, you crack a smile. It’s hard not to at the thought of his little brothers absolutely littering his place in little bead lizards, all because you showed them the trick to the feet.
“The lil’ brat lectured me on the difference between lizards n’ geckos,” he pauses, a noticeable slur to his drunken speech. “Still think they’re pretty much th’same.”
“They’re a species and a subspecies,” you reply monotonously.
Sukuna doesn’t like your tone, devoid of any emotion. He shuffles slightly towards you. You look hot, but Sukuna knows better now than to blindly follow his desires, even in his completely intoxicated state. “Jus’ because you added ‘sub’ t’the word doesn’ make ‘em different.”
You let out a long sigh. “Are we not gonna talk about it, Sukuna?” You wrap your arms tighter around yourself as you turn to face him.
He straightens, pinned in place by your conflicted scowl. Your eyes are glazed, you’re drunk too, and you seem more upset than your emails lead him to believe. Maybe it’s just the alcohol clouding his ability to grasp your expressions.
“‘M sorry.”
“You’re sorry?” You echo his apology, a brow quirked.
“Yeah. It was a mistake.”
That hits you like a slap in the face and you purse your lips, staring at the ground as you take one, two steps back from him, with the intention of heading back inside. No, with the intention of going home.
“Fuck, no, no. Wait.” Sukuna’s jaw hangs ajar as he follows your stride, walking two steps towards you. His tongue runs across his lower lip as he hesitates, brushing a hand through his hair. “That’s not what I meant.”
Your throat is tight as you fight back tears. You can’t help but wish you weren’t drunk while having this conversation, then maybe the tears wouldn’t be so quick.
“I-” Sukuna fights with himself, “- I was thinkin’ with the wrong head.”
Right. So he’s doubling down on it being a mistake. You nod slowly, turning away with a sharp intake of breath.
“Wait, shit. Wait. ‘M sorry, I’m way too fuckin’ drunk n’ high n’ shit to be doin’ this right now,” he scrambles with his words, taking another step after you. You stop again, giving him another chance to explain himself. You’ve always been too kind and patient with him.
Grappling with the thoughts running through his mind, he shuts his eyes for a moment with a deeply furrowed brow, red eyes dilating as the light of Gojo’s bedroom behind you illuminates your silhouette. Your dress suits you and frames your curves so well that it’s driving him insane, jumbling his thoughts even further. These thoughts are what got him into this situation to begin with.
“There was so much shit goin’ on n’ I wasn’t thinkin’ straight,” he slurs, red eyes flickering between yours. He can see the hurt in your eyes and he’s far too inebriated to even begin thinking about why it is that you’re so hurt he would refer to the kiss as a mistake. That’s a can of worms he can’t possibly begin to wrap his brain around in this state. “I was jus’... I dunno. I was chasin’ somethin’ I shoudn-” he pauses as his words slur, “- I shouldn’t have.”
You let out a scoff of disbelief. It doesn’t matter how many different ways he words it, at the end of the day it’s clear as mud. It was a mistake. His excuse, though? That’s just pitiful and insulting.
“Do you think I don’t have a lot going on? Do you think that somehow my problems aren’t worth as much just because I don’t have two jobs and kids?” Your words are sharp, and they take a moment to sink in.
“No. Fuck. I jus-” He pauses again, knuckles white as he balls his hands into fists at his sides, his jaw clenching in frustration. He could use a dictionary right about now. Maybe just a whole damn linguist. Hell, he needs someone to read his mind because everything is coming out jumbled and it’s pissing him the fuck off, when all he really wants to say is, “Fuck, I jus’… don’t wan’ the kids to lose ya.” He swallows hard. “I don’t wanna lose ya.”
Your shoulders fall, your defenses crumbling. What? “What?”
Now that he has your attention again, he turns back to the balcony, hunching over it. The cool metal railing lulls his heated skin. Soothes the burning anger with his own inability to process a single thought. Maybe drinking to forget wasn’t his brightest idea.
He says your name quietly. It sounds foreign, vulnerable, when it falls from his lips that way. “I’m losin’ the kids.”
You take a step towards him, tilting your head to get a better view of his face. His expression is solemn, but you’re not sure you understand where he’s going with this. They seemed pretty fond of him when you saw them last week. Choso surely wouldn’t be expressing his worries to you if he didn’t love Sukuna.
“What do you mean?”
“Their fuckin’ mother slapped me with court orders. She’s takin’ ‘em.”
Your blood runs cold, eyes widening. The legal documents. You’d always assumed it was some foolish run-in Sukuna must have had with someone with a bit too much power or money, but never once had you stopped to consider that it could be something like this.
“No, what? You’re gonna fight for them, aren’t you?” You ask, voice strained.
“The hell ‘m I supposed to do?” He barks, turning to face you with a snarl. The look on his face isn’t one of anger, however. It’s distress. “Pull money outta my ass to pay f’r a lawyer?”
You frown. “Maybe you can find a pro-bono attorney?”
Sukuna’s too drunk for this. “Free? That’s free, right?”
You nod.
“The fuck’s a shitty free attorney gonna do? Convince the court that the older brother with two jobs, school, n’ tattoos c’n take better care of two brats than the person who birthed ‘em?”
“Sukuna, come on-”
He doesn’t stop there. “No court’s stupid enough to say no when she pushed ‘em out-”
“Eugh, don’t say that.”
“- that’s not even mentionin’ the fact that she practically shits cash with how much she’s got-”
“Sukuna! Okay, I get it.” You set a hand on his bicep, grounding him as he stares at it. Your touch is searing. He’s not sure if it’s because of the cold, his anger, or something else entirely. He’s not in the state of mind to think about it. His chest heaves as your steady voice speaks so softly to him that it does manage to calm him, even if only a bit. “How much water have you had tonight?”
He huffs. “None.”
“That… makes sense,” you chuckle lightly, shooting him a tired smile. “Why don’t we start there?”
Had one of his friends asked a half hour ago, he would have rolled his eyes and downed the Jack Daniels in his pocket. After his beyond frustrating last few minutes where he couldn’t seem to get a single word out, it doesn’t sound nearly as bad.
“Fine,” he agrees, following after you as you turn to lead the way back to Gojo’s room, only to pause at the door.
“You didn’t lock the door behind you, did you?”
“What? No.” He peers over you, wrinkling his nose at the sight of a couple tangled in one another on Gojo’s bed.
You can only pray he didn’t notice you and Sukuna up on the balcony at all, he’d kill you if he knew what was going on.
“How convenient,” Sukuna deadpans, wrapping an arm around your shoulders as he shields you from the couple with his body, ducking through the room as quickly as possible and shutting the door behind him. His grip on your shoulder doesn’t relent as he keeps you close to his body while heading down the stairs, through the crowd and towards the kitchen, shielding you from the sweaty dance floor.
You scramble to keep up with him, needing to move at almost double your walking pace just to keep up with him as he drags you along. Your cheeks are burning and whether that’s from the alcohol or his touch, you’re not sure.
Once you’re in the kitchen, he loosens his grip on your shoulder and watches silently as you move around the cabinets and fridges, filling a glass of water for him.
He hums in acknowledgement, leaning back against the counter. You hop up on the marble beside him, watching as he slowly sips on the water, staring down at the liquid that vibrates with the thump of the bass.
“So,” you begin, pulling his attention back to you. “You don’t wanna lose me, huh?”
Sukuna’s sharp eyes narrow into a glare, but it dissipates as he realizes you aren’t teasing. You’re lucky he’s drunk, because there’s no other circumstance where you would get such a direct answer from him. “No.”
“Is that why you didn’t reach out to talk about it?”
He returns his gaze to the water in his hand, rippling in the glass. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know what t’ say. I overstepped boundaries.”
You sigh, glad he’s found a more eloquent way of putting how he really feels rather than just labelling the whole thing as ‘a mistake’. You wish he started with that, but obviously drunk, high, and in a panic to keep you from walking away, his words failed him. You can accept that he doesn’t see you romantically but values your friendship.
“It’s okay, Sukuna. We… both… overstepped boundaries,” you offer with a smile that doesn’t quite reach your eyes. It’s clear that what Sukuna needs right now is a friend, someone to support him and look out for him when he needs it most. You’ll be that for him, even if it means leaving your feelings for him at the door.
His eyes narrow again as he looks at you, irises flickering between your pupils as though he’s trying to make sense of something, but he lets it go to down some water, turning to the sink to refill his glass.
You don’t bring up the kids with people flooding the kitchen around you, keeping the conversation casual. Sukuna points out his friends in the corner at one point, telling you he’ll introduce you when Toji’s not drunk because apparently ‘he’s a prick’. You recognize Uraume’s name from a while ago when they had watched the kids so that Sukuna could be there to get your grade for your project. Sukuna tells you that he thinks you’ll get along well.
It’s gradual, but his speech eventually stops slurring and he joins you on the counter, though his head and shoulder hit the cabinet behind him and he hardly fits.
“Wait- that was today?”
“Mhm. I probably woulda been kicked out if Toji and Atsuya didn’t hold me back.” He flashes you his knuckles that are, as he expected, beginning to bruise.
“Something tells me you say that from experience,” you giggle.
“Somethin’ like that. Last time, it was Toji’s fault, though,” he shrugs, downing more water. You’re both now just comfortably buzzed and Sukuna doesn’t seem nearly as tense as when you were up on the balcony.
“Sounds like I should be glad I’ve never met this Naoya guy.”
“Tch. If you even see that slimebag look at you, head the other way. Guy’s a walking red flag.”
“Noted.” You kick your feet, staring down at your black heels dangling from them. “Oh, by the way, have you ever tried that diner near your place?”
“What diner?” He’s staring down at your feet as well, watching the movement as they gently sway.
“The one like a block over from your apartment, with the blue and pink logo?”
Sukuna stifles a laugh, but it still bubbles up in his chest and he snorts. “That’s a fuckin’ strip club, princess.”
“No it isn’t!” You insist with certainty.
“It’s literally called Strip Joint.” He points out with a smug grin.
“Kuna. They make chicken strips. It’s a joke, they’re a chicken strip joint.”
His lips part in disbelief as he tilts his head to look at you. “You’re kidding.”
“I’m dead serious,” you giggle. “How did you not know?”
“What do you mean ‘how did I not know’? How did you know?” He waves his hand out in the air like it isn’t quite as obvious as it seems. He’s got a point, it absolutely looks the part of a strip club with a dark outside and bright neon sign, but that only makes you laugh harder.
“You know what, now that I think about it, I actually think I know that because Satoru took us there for his birthday and thought it was a strip club,” you ponder the time you first visited, but can’t place if that was your first visit for sure.
“See!” He’s grinning, his cheeks dusted in a shade of red that suits him, just as well as his smirk does. Another one of those rare moments where you think you’re seeing the real Sukuna, even in the midst of everything bogging him down. It’s a good look on him, one that sends your heart soaring. “I’m sure the frat boy loved that.”
“You know, he wasn’t as upset as you would think he’d be,” you giggle, shaking your head.
Sukuna hums, glancing around momentarily. “Can’t believe I live right next to a chicken finger place and the boys don’t know. They’d love that shit.”
Your heart falls, but you do what you can to mask it at the mention of his little brothers. “Let’s check it out.”
“We can do that sometime,” he agrees, yawning.
“No, I mean why don’t we go now?”
Sukuna’s brow arches. “You wanna take my drunk and high ass to a chicken finger shop?”
“I think that makes it funnier, honestly,” you grin, hopping down off the counter. Sukuna contemplates your request for a moment, before dropping down to his feet with a thump.
“Fine,” he huffs, shoving his hands into his jogger pockets as he follows after you. You both pull your jackets from the front coat rack and closet and step back out into the cold. Considerably less drunk than last time you were outside, it’s markedly colder.
Thank god Sukuna’s apartment isn’t too far from campus, unlike yours. You’d had every intention of crashing at Shoko’s overnight, so you’d likely just head back to her place when the night ends if you can get a hold of her.
Heels probably weren’t your greatest call with all the snow, but you manage to keep yourself from slipping by walking slower. It’s a snail’s pace for Sukuna, but as much as he grumbles and gripes about it, he’ll be more than okay.
Jogging up to the door, you pull it open with a shiver and thank every god you can think of that it’s open at one in the morning.
Just as you had said, it’s a diner that specialises in chicken strips, classically decorated in reds to go with the otherwise grayscale diner colors. Off to one side lies a row of red leather booths, while there’s a faded red counter with patches of bare oak where forearms and plates have worn the color from the wood. The lights are dim, with one at the back of the diner flickering softly.
The restaurant is empty aside from one employee and an older man drinking coffee at the counter before her.
“Have a seat wherever, dears.” The kind old employee smiles softly at you, gesturing to the booths. You return her smile, leading Sukuna to a booth in the center of the diner, a couple away from the flickering light.
Sukuna shuffles into the booth, shrugging off his coat and leaning against his bent elbow. He yawns, grunting in thanks when the employee leaves menus before you. He doesn’t look as disinterested as usual, but tired hardly cuts the dark circles lining his eyes.
You peruse the menu for a moment, glancing up at Sukuna. His eyes are skimming the menu, his fingers drumming lightly on the white table lined in metallic silver.
“What do you think you’re gonna get?”
Sukuna’s brow arches. “Chicken.”
“Alright, smartass,” you giggle. “I’m thinking of having ice cream.”
Sukuna’s gaze narrows. “You complained about it being cold the whole way here.”
“Yeah, but doesn’t that sound good?”
“Chicken sounds good,” he mumbles.
“You’re just high.”
“You’re just drunk,” he counters, a smirk pulling at the corners of his lips. He shuts the menu after a moment, setting it at the side of the table to get the waitress’ attention. The kind woman rounds the bar and pulls out a small notepad and pen.
“What can I get you?”
“I’ll have the six piece meal,” Sukuna starts, holding his hand out for you to go next.
“I’ll have the chocolate ice cream.”
“You were serious?” Disbelief drips from Sukuna’s tone as he shoots you a look like you’ve gone mad before the waitress can even confirm your orders. You kick his shin lightly under the table and he shuts his mouth with a grimace, muttering a ‘thanks’ when the waitress confirms your orders and heads back to the bar. “You were serious?” He repeats once she’s gone.
“Of course! Doesn’t that sound good?”
“Not really,” he chuckles, still leaning against his palm.
“Well, I think it sounds great.”
“Yeah, yeah. Whatever the princess wants, she gets.”
You grin at him as your stomach flutters at the nickname, following his gaze outside. The street lamps cast an eerie yellow light over the otherwise still roads, your fresh footprints the only sign of life out there. No cars pass by the side road at such early hours of the morning, the hustle and bustle of city life momentarily paused as most people settle in the warmth of their homes for rest.
“What are you gonna do, Sukuna?”
He yawns, wiping tears from his eyes. “‘Bout what?”
“The kids.”
“Mm.” He sighs, leaning back in the booth. It’s a bit short for him and he has to slump down for any amount of back support. “Dunno. Not sure I can do much.”
“What about the pro-bono idea?”
“Maybe,” he hums, a little more level-headed as you inquire this time around. “I don’t think some free attorney off the streets is gonna do many favors against whatever expensive asshole their mom’s payin’ for, though.”
“Maybe, but you never know. It’s better than self-defense,” you shrug.
“Unless I find Daredevil on the streets, I get the feelin’ it won’t really matter.” The defeat hanging around him like a spectre seems to weigh heavily on him as he stares out the window.
“You can’t just give up.”
He throws his hands up in frustration, though he’s too tired to back it up with words. He supposes you can take that however you’d like, he’s not about to fight with you about this, not when this lawsuit almost cost your friendship all because his dumbass step-mother chose to deliver the legal papers at the most inconvenient time.
“They need you, Kuna. Where’s their mom been all this time, anyway?” Your brow furrows at the thought. Why does Sukuna have his brothers if their mom’s still around?
“Dunno. Overseas or some shit. She took a high-paying position and our dad refused to move us with her. When he passed, I tried to get a hold of anyone on her side of the family. Not a single word. Even the lawyers couldn’t reach any of ‘em.” He shrugs, reaching up to scratch his jaw as his gaze remains fixed out the window.
“Huh. What about your mom?”
Either Sukuna’s feeling kind today, or he’s too tired to fight your nosiness. Whatever it is, he shrugs again in reply. “Dunno about her either. I was an accident. My dad was nineteen when they had me, she signed me away the moment I was born.”
You suppose his statement from the other night about his father ‘knowing how to pick them’ makes more sense with this context. It seemed neither woman had done any of his sons any favors.
“I’m sorry, Sukuna.” “It’s whatever,” he mutters through a yawn.
“Hey, what about the law students or professors?”
He tilts his head, leaning over the table on both of his forearms. “What about them?”
“Have you spoken to them?”
“No. I dunno any of ‘em and I’m not about to get anyone involved.”
“Don’t you think it’s worth it? For Yuji and Choso?”
Sukuna parts his lips to reply, pausing momentarily when your ice cream and his chicken arrive. You both quietly thank the waitress before he continues. “‘Course, but I’m not gettin’ my hopes up.”
You frown, spooning some ice cream into your mouth. After your first bite, you chew on your lip in thought. “Would you consider talking to a law student? I know you would need to tell them what’s going on and that isn’t what you want, but…” You trail off, not really sure there’s a sound ‘but’ behind your insistence on helping him.
He sighs, finishing a chicken strip in only a couple of bites. “You think it’s worth it?”
You nod, swallowing another bite of ice cream. “I just know if I were in your position, I would be trying everything. I couldn’t possibly let go of them.”
Sukuna’s heart twists and he runs a hand through his hair. There it is again, that uncomfortable sensation of being outside of his own body as panic grips him. It’s the same feeling from when you mentioned him being their hero. It’s like you’ve dropped something on him that he doesn’t quite know how to handle.
He stares down at his plates, a muscle in his jaw ticking.
“Sukuna?”
“I’m fine,” he mumbles, strained. He subconsciously slides his foot out until he finds yours, as though he’s seeking your presence for comfort again like the night spent in his room. You set your spoon down, watching as he shuts his eyes and takes a deep breath.
You open your mouth to voice your concern, but he interrupts before you can.
“You know one? A law student?”
You chew on your lip briefly, taking in his distant expression. As though being high, buzzed on alcohol, tired, and mildly hungover isn’t all enough for one person, now he also hardly seems present.
“I don’t, but one of Kento’s friends is in the program.”
“Great,” Sukuna mutters, rolling his eyes as he jabs his chicken a little bit too harshly in plum sauce. “My biggest fan.” You knock his foot beside you, which seems to bring him back to the present somewhat.
“You know, I think if you explain to him what’s going on, he might not be so cold to you.”
The pink-haired man makes a show out of his disdain for including Kento with a dramatic groan. “If it makes it easier with the law student, then sure, but,” he pauses, shooting you a glance, “I choose what I share.”
You pick up your spoon again, shoveling more ice cream into your mouth. “I wouldn’t share any of your secrets. Kento doesn’t know about your brothers.”
He doesn’t doubt that’s true, otherwise he thinks he may have garnered just a little bit more sympathy from the blonde. He’s fairly sure the only reason he’s still just barely on Shoko’s good side is the fact that she knows he’s taking care of two snot-nosed brats.
He mutters out a barely audible thanks before focusing on his food. Even as he eats, he’s running out of steam, just barely managing to stay awake as comfortable silence hangs between you. It’s a stark contrast from a few hours ago, the rift patched and stitched with a nice little bow to top it all off and for that he’s beyond grateful.
“Do you wanna try some?” You hold out your spoon as he sets his plate aside, wiped clean.
He reaches out, taking the spoon and popping it in his mouth. “That’s pretty good. I thought it was just Breyers or some shit.”
You shake your head, staring down at the couple of remaining scoops. “I think it’s made in-house.”
He hums in agreement, leaning over the table with a yawn and you get the feeling it’s time to go home. Waving the waitress over, you request the bills with a polite smile.
“Together or separate?” She inquires with a kind smile in return.
“Together.”
“Separate.”
“Together,” Sukuna doubles down, pulling out his wallet.
“Are you sure?”
He scoffs at the question. “You got one ice cream, I think I’ll manage.”
Giving in, you nod at the waitress.
“Thank you, Kuna.”
“Mm,” he hums as he pulls out his credit card, paying quickly before sliding out of the booth and throwing his coat on. You follow suit, thanking the waitress and heading back out into the cold.
“You promise you’re okay with me reaching out to Kento about this? It probably won’t be until after Christmas, he’s back in our hometown with family,” you explain.
“It’s fine. Worth a shot, right?”
You smile at his willingness to work with you. He’s shown you an awful lot of vulnerability all night, and you appreciate his honesty, even if there’s still a pang of disappointment that your feelings for him aren’t mutual.
“You need me to walk you back to the frat house?”
Your nose wrinkles at the thought. You really don’t want to stay there if you don’t have to, and your buzz has completely faded. You have no desire to return to the party, which you would need to do if you wanted to crash with Shoko. “That’s alright, I think I’ll head home.”
Sukuna rolls his shoulders backwards, fighting a yawn. “Uber? Busses aren’t running this late.”
“Yeah, I’ll get one now.”
“I’m comin’ with you.”
“Sukuna, you’ve been yawning for the better part of the last two hours. You look like you’re ready to pass out,” you point out, reaching forward to poke him in a similar fashion to back when you first met his brothers and teasingly shoved him to prove a point.
Marginally more awake than your first encounter with his brothers, Sukuna grabs your wrist before you can poke him. “Nice try, princess. It’s two in the morning, I just wanna make sure you make it home. I’ll walk back after.”
Your heart should not be soaring like it is right now given the fact that he openly admitted to you that he overstepped boundaries, but you can’t help the way it races. “Okay,” you smile meekly, waiting alongside him for the car you hailed to pull up.
The ride is an odd one as Sukuna struggles to stay awake while the driver recounts his night, but his presence is comforting in what would otherwise be an awkward ride.
Arriving back at your apartment, you open the app and add a secondary destination, keying in Sukuna’s apartment. He sluggishly goes to get out but you dash around the car as best as you can in your heels to block him.
“Thanks for getting me home, now I’m getting you home.”
He’s too drained to start something with you for being too kind when he could just walk home, returning to his seat with resignation and a mildly contemptful expression.
“Thanks,” he grumbles, though he’s internally much more grateful than he’d have you believe.
“Text- uh- email me when you get home.”
He blows air from his nose, amused. “Yeah. Night, princess.”
“Goodnight, Kuna.”
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❦ a/n ; i hope you guys enjoyed the chicken strip conversation as much as i did, maybe i'm just tired but i though it was toooo cute something about writing sukuna fumbling through his day-to-day life is so enjoyable, this poor poor man. i love him sm 😭 as always, thank you for reading and a huge shoutout to each and every one of you who's interacted with my posts, you guys seriously make my day and are a big part of the reason i'm having so much fun sharing this story with you all. thank you all <33
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wildfire (cs) | nine.
—spotify playlist | series masterlist
—summary: assistant professor in bioengineering, incredibly attractive, lonely and divorced; that’s how most people describe san. but despite the events that have happened in his life, san has a lot going for himself. he’s a successful, sought out professor due to his brilliant contributions to science at just an early age of 32. he worked hard to get where he was now; head deep into his research, his publications, building his lab and creating a name for himself. everything was good and smooth sailing— until it wasn’t. because when he meets you, a bioengineering grad student interested in rotating in his lab, he finds himself ready to risk all the blood, sweat and tears he put in throughout the years just to keep you close— his need for you spiraling out of control like a wildfire.
—pairing: asst. professor!choi san x grad student!f. reader
—genre: (18+ - minors dni) strangers to lovers, grad school au | fluff, angst, smut
—word count: 9.7k
—chapter content/warnings: cussing, mature language/sexually implied content, phone sex / mutual masturbation, lots of kissing and making out per usual lol, these two are off to another conference but together-together, alcohol consumption and intoxication, bar scene, dancing, fingering on the balcony, finger sucking, oral (f. receiving), a sprinkle of spitting, a sprinkle of nipple play, a lazy handjob lol, unprotected sex from behind oop, some dirty talk, some hair pulling, multiple orgasms, reverse cowgorrrrl, implied shower sex, lots of talk and speculation, hohoho the end 🤭
Your friends weren't really surprised when you said you'd be leaving for another conference. They did wonder why it was last minute, but you don't think they dwelled on it much. Not like Jiung, at least. Outside of Jiung, maybe Yunho, too. But luckily, Yunho didn't make it a big deal since you weren't scheduled to TA his class this week [hands-on lab week with his postdoc]. He reassured you by saying it was a good conference to attend, though. That he wasn't giving a talk this year, but he was still thinking about popping in for a second.
You hope not.
You'd be with San and you'd finally get to be away with him, alone. You hoped no one else would be around and try to disrupt that [selfishly]. San had just traveled overseas for another lecture post-NAS conference, leaving you behind to sulk away while you missed his company.
—FLASHBACK
San settles into his empty hotel suite after a long day of being in attendance for a board meeting and conference. He loosens his tie and unclips his cuffs, letting out a hefty sigh when he turns on the shower. He musters the last of his strength to shed off his clothes and step under the piping hot water. He's still feeling a little groggy and gross from being in a timezone that's 5 hours behind from home. Over the years, he's slowly gotten used to traveling this way; flying to the other side of the world for 1-2 days before heading back. It used to wear on his body a ton until he's gotten better about taking care of it and his health. Still, even after these years, it doesn't get any easier.
Especially now that San has you— he just always feels like he's missing something. All he wants is to be with you, occupy his time with you.
When San steps out of the shower and finishes getting ready for bed, he slips under the sheets in nothing but his boxer briefs. He rests against the headboard, flipping through channels while he waits for you to text him back. He flips through some of your photos, some of the nudes you sent that he tucked away in his hidden folder. He feels himself getting worked up, missing you even more; missing your touch, your kisses, the way you feel. You promise you'd stay up and wait for him even though San begged you to sleep, so he wouldn't be surprised if you had fallen asleep.
You couldn't though, not without talking to him.
you: sorry sannie, was cleaning up a bit. can i call you now? 🥺
san: yeah of course baby, as long as you aren't tired.
It's not less than 20 seconds that you end up calling him after that text, settling into your sheets to try and get comfortable.
"Hey sweetheart."
"Hi." You smile to yourself hearing San's voice, though he sounds tired and worn out. "You okay? You sound really tired." He chuckles.
"Ah, do I? I kinda am though. Mentally exhausted from the meeting and conference today."
"I'm sorry, Sannie. You should rest."
"I am, love." He sinks a bit further into the sheets. "I miss you."
"I miss you, too."
"What have you been up to today?"
"I caught up on some assignments and worked on a few things with Belle. How was the board meeting and conference?"
"Cool, but exhausting."
"I bet. Have you gone around the city?"
"A bit, but I don't really plan to do most of it until the second to last day here." You hum on the other line. "Wish you were here with me, baby." His voice is low, husky. Enough for you to bite your lip and sink into your own covers to try and distract yourself from the butterflies in your tummy.
"I wish I was, too. I'm sure it's beautiful there."
"Mmyeah." He feels himself getting incredibly worked up at this point, missing you terribly and wishing he had you all to himself here. Imaging the things he could do with you, to you, is enough to turn him on.
Replaying past events and hearing those pretty little noises you make for him.
God, he wishes he could have you.
"You lying down?" He breaks the silence and asks.
"Mhm."
"Wish I could have you right now, sweetheart." You can hear it in his voice, the small pauses and breaths he takes in between. "All I want."
"I wish you could too, Sannie."
"Baby." He breathes out. "I'm so hard for you." He lets out a small groan just as you dip your fingers beneath the waistband of your shorts and panties.
"Can you come home already?" You whine.
"Soon, love." He whips his cock out and slowly strokes himself, releasing a shaky breath in the process just as he tilts his head back against the headboard— thumb spreading his pre-cum across his tip. "Fuck—Can you touch yourself for me?"
"Yes." You let out, rubbing at your clit in slow circular motions, digit dipping between your folds before gently slipping inside. A small whimper leaves your lips that shoots straight to San's cock, causing him to grip his member a little harder— stroke it a little quicker.
"Feels good, angel? How wet are you?"
"Mhm." You moan. "So wet, babe."
"Good girl. Keep doing that for me, yeah?" You fail to respond, too focused on finger-fucking yourself as you slip in two digits and work at a hungry pace. You too, think about San and how well he takes care of you; how well he fucks you and makes you cum over, and over again. "Wish I could fuck you so good right now." He moans a little louder this time and it has you reeling— hips subtly working with your hand as you come back up to your clit and spread your slickness around. "Hear you make those pretty noises for me and me only."
"Sannie." You breathily whine, rubbing at a faster pace.
"Mhm?" His voice is deep. "You want that, baby?" He lets another moan slip from his lips as he chases after his high, hand working quick on his length. "You like it when I handle you? Do you need that right now?"
"Yes, Sannie. Need it so badly."
"Mm." His hum is close to growl. "Shit." He hisses, breathing becoming irregular just as yours is. The more you listen to San on the other line while rubbing at your core, the more you feel yourself ready to snap. "I'm close. Can you let go for me, hm? When I get back—" He pauses briefly. "I'll make sure to take care of you. Fuck you so good— show you how much I missed you."
"Fuck— San." You cry. "Mm'coming—" You continue to moan and say his name as your orgasm washes over you, trembling at every touch as you milk it out and ride out your high. Hearing the way you unravel has San spiraling, causing him to release shortly afterwards— strings of white painting his stomach and abdomen as he moans deeply; the euphoria crashing down on him instantly. You lie there, eyes shut as the exhaustion kicks in, a small smile on your face when San huffs out a quick 'fuck.' "Everything okay?"
"Yeah, just made a mess." You giggle.
"Too bad I'm not there."
"Don't say things like that or I'll get hard again." You snort, also getting up to clean up and snuggle back into the covers. "Can't wait to get home to you."
"I can't either, babe. Just take it easy, okay? You'll be home soon."
"Soon isn't enough."
—END
He was there for a week before he came back jet-lagged and super tired. He still managed to cater to you despite the things he needed to catch up on, but you honestly felt bad intruding in his space when you're sure he just needed time for himself. With that being said, you didn't see him as much over the following week— allowing him to get back on track before yet another trip and another conference.
You needed him to yourself, and that's all you were asking for.
And you got that; hopefully, with no issues, repercussions or interruptions to come.
"Baby." You turn from the window to face San, his hand giving your thigh a squeeze.
"Hm?" You hum, pulling yourself out of your daze while watching the ocean pass you by.
"You okay?" He smiles a bit, driving with one hand down to the grocery store.
"Mmyeah, sorry. Was just watching the water." He nods, licking his lips as he leans onto the middle console after stopping at a light.
"No worries. Can I just steal a quick kiss?" You giggle, leaning forward to kiss him on the lips. You pull away for a second, only to kiss him again. And again.
And again.
Beep!
"Fucking relax." San says, looking through the rear view mirror. He hits the gas, smirking when he hears you laughing in your seat.
"Woops."
"Gonna get me in trouble."
"Pay attention, Professor Choi." You tease, lacing your hand with his. His hand is soft, his hand is warm. You give it a soft squeeze, thumb caressing the surface.
"Can't help it when my lady's in the front seat." He smiles. "Anyway, got a good list of groceries in mind already?"
"Just a couple of things." He nods.
"What do you wanna do tonight? Take a walk near the beach? Party? Explore?"
"Party?" You snort. "You party?"
"I'm really not that old, for your information." You laugh.
"You know, exploring sounds kinda fun."
"Yeah?" He kisses your knuckles just as he pulls into the parking lot of the plaza, finding a spot near the entrance of the grocery store. "Well, we can explore."
"Stumble into some bars, walk down the lively nightlife streets." He chuckles and slides his hand into yours when the both of you hop out the car and head into the store.
"That does sound fun." He squeezes your hand before grabbing a basket. "So, what did you have in mind?"
"Lots of good snacks." You giggle, leading him towards the snack aisle. "But, I was thinking we could make something for dinner together tomorrow night."
"Yeah, we should. What's on the menu?" You shrug, throwing your favorite chips into his basket, along with your favorite waffle cone snacks.
"Curry, maybe?"
"That sounds really good, baby. Let's do it." You smile up at San before tippy-toeing to give him a kiss on the lips. You continue to roam around the store, throwing in some ingredients into the basket with San, along with some soju. After the two of you have made an entire round around the store and are satisfied, San heads to the cashier to pay. You beg for him to let you cover half and he shakes his head, kissing you on the side of the head for the attempt. You catch his arm flex when he raises the basket onto the belt, causing you to shift your attention to the floor to try and distract yourself. San catches on though, and he chuckles while tapping his card to the reader. You shy behind him, hand loosely in his while he grabs the bags with his other.
In the car, you pull up a few potential spots to visit tonight. You find that most of the fancy restaurants and fun bars are along the same street, which is pretty close to the hotel and beach. You suggest walking down and around, and San agrees— as long as you're comfortable. You look at him and nod, watching as he drives down to the hotel 15 minutes away; chewing at his gum with his hat strapped on backwards. San is in a casual white tee and black pants, while you've got on an oversized graphic tee and cargos. San booked a hotel that's on the opposite end from the venue, more than willing to do a 45 min drive around to get there just to avoid running into familiar faces and colleagues. It wasn't a huge conference, though. Not a lot of people he knew would be showing up. Still— didn't mean others weren't aware of who he was and he couldn't risk that. He just needed to be with you, in private; away from anything that could ruin it or make you uncomfortable.
When you get to the hotel, San checks in with a breeze before taking your hand and leading the way to the room. He's carrying both of your bags— a duffle slung on each of his shoulders. He taps the keycard on his phone against the reader, pulling the handle down to reveal the suite. You've seen pictures but pictures don't do justice to capture just how beautiful it is in person. It's a small suite, perfect for you two. There's a small living room, a kitchen next to it. There's beautiful barn doors separating the room. The room has a Queen's bed, beautiful white curtains that hide the balcony with the ocean view. The bathroom has a his and hers sink, a stand-in shower just like the one San has at home and a tub next to it. San sets your bags down to the side of the room while you set the ingredients and soju in the fridge, snacks laid out on the counter. San lets out a small sigh as he comes to you, tossing his hat onto the counter before wrapping his arms around you from behind and placing a kiss against your head.
"So, baby." He says lowly from behind, giving you the opportunity to relax in his hold. "Wanna get ready and head back out?"
"You sure you aren't tired?" He smiles when you turn to face him and wrap your arms around his neck.
"No. We can do whatever you want." His hands squeeze at your sides. You tippy-toe to peck him on the lips, hands gently tugging on the ends of his hair sitting on the nape of his neck. He kisses you back for awhile, deepening the kiss just enough to have you to two indulging in each other against the kitchen counter. He lets out a soft, content sigh in between, hand coming up your shirt.
"Maybe we should—" Kiss. "Get ready." Kiss.
"We should. But, it's not fair now that you've got me all worked up." He whines a bit, causing you to giggle.
"I'm sorry, Sannie." You kiss him one last time. "We can take care of it later, hm?" You smile, pulling out of his grip to head into the bedroom. He watches you walk off, hips swaying as you make your way to your bag before strutting into the bathroom. He does a little head tilt, still in disbelief at how he's got you right here— with him.
He feels lucky. Genuinely happy.
At some point, you and San are both getting ready in the bathroom— you've dressed yourself in a mini cami dress while San has his all white attire on. You're brushing the mascara wand through your lashes, dabbing some blush to your cheeks, swiping the lip gloss across your lips. San is ruffling his hair next to you, trying to style it to his wants until he's satisfied. You look over and peep the silver dog tag necklace hanging from his neck, tan chest exposed through the deep-cut shirt he's wearing.
"What?" He smiles, slightly confused at the way you're staring at him.
"Just looking at your necklace."
"You sure that's it?"
"I mean I could say other things, but I won't start right now." He laughs.
"Chris gave it to me for my birthday."
"It's nice. Looks good on you."
"You think so?" You nod, setting your makeup bag aside. "Doesn't look nearly as good as this dress does on you." He comes behind you, hand gripping your ass.
"Choi San."
"What?" He chuckles. "I mean it." He presses a kiss to your temple. "Ready to go, pretty?" You nod, turning to face him.
"I am."
"Can I have a kiss before we go?"
"My lip gloss." He shrugs.
"I don't care." He gently grips your jaw and tugs you closer. "C'mere." You kiss him, smiling as you pull away and tug on his shirt.
"Let's go." You gently wipe off the excess gloss from the edge of his lips, being the first to pull away and grab your things.
"Yesma'am." San bites onto his lip, following after you.
And it ultimately leads to one of the best nights you've ever experienced.
San pulls up to a Peruvian restaurant, taking your hand and carefully navigating through the groups of people waiting for a table. He puts his name on the waitlist, telling you it'll be about a 25 minute wait. You respond with a 'no biggie,' leading him up the street to look at the gift shops while waiting. You and San poke around at the shirts, sweaters, magnets and other souvenirs, playfully trying on fun, festive hats and headbands before purchasing a few items for your mom and friends. You move onto the next store, in hopes of killing the last 10 minutes of the wait in there. It's a cute and quaint jewelry shop, one owned by a sweet middle-aged lady who sits on a high stool behind the counter. She greets you and San, her eyes twinkling when she sees you both stroll in happily into her store. You slowly browse along the glass containers, your eyes instantly fall onto a dainty, silver layered butterfly necklace sitting in the far corner.
"I was hoping you'd look at that one." She says. "I think it'd be perfect on you."
"Wouldn't it be?" San comes from behind. "Is it okay if we take a closer look at it?" She nods, pulling it out of the glass case and onto the surface.
"It's so pretty."
"There's only one other shop that sells this necklace. It's simple, but I think it brings out some joy in people. Butterflies are meaningful." She adds.
"They are. My grandma loved butterflies. We'd always take her to the butterfly garden near her home for her birthday."
"It really would be perfect on you." San whispers as he dips closer to the side of your face. He sees the way your eyes light up, causing his heart to soar. He immediately turns to the lady and flashes his dimpled smile, his arm around your waist. "Do you think I can take it off of your hands?"
"Certainly—"
"San." You pout. "You don't have to—"
"I do." Is all he says, sliding his card over to the sweet lady just as she gently takes it off of its display and lays it down. It's not expensive, but not inexpensive; yet, San doesn't care much for it because all that mattered to him was the way your eyes glowed and the way your smile filled the room.
"I'm assuming you'd like to wear it out?" San nods.
"Yeah, she will." She hands him his receipt to sign off on before handing him his card.
"Enjoy." You smile at her as San slips his card back into his wallet and carefully pries the necklace out of the container. When you get to the front of the store, San stops you to help you get the necklace on.
"Baby, let me put this on."
"Thank you, Sannie." Your eyes sparkle at the necklace in his hand, his smile growing by the minute as he comes behind you to slip it on.
"It's perfect." He gently caresses your chin before he's distracted by his phone buzzing. "Also, perfect timing?" He flashes his phone towards you. "Our table's ready." You simply smile up at him, letting him lead you back down to the restaurant. Once he's checked back in, the host brings you to a table in the dim, far corner of the restaurant— away from the entrance, away from the high traffic. It's a small booth, cozy and intimate enough for you and San.
You begin skimming through the menu, chiming in about certain plates you wanna try. You and San decide on a few main courses to share, along with dessert. He's quick to call the waitress over to place the order, also putting in an order of cocktails for you two to indulge in while waiting. San talks to you about future plans and how things have been going on his end [grants, his progress with Jongho on that new building]. He's trying his best to not talk about school and work but there are things he just feels the need to tell you, knowing you'd support him and cheer him on when he needs it the most. But, at some point, the conversation gets interrupted when a call from Jiung comes flashing through your screen.
"Do you wanna get that, sweetheart?" You shake your head and let the call go to voicemail.
"It's okay. I'll tell him I'll call him back later or something."
"You sure?"
"Positive, San." You give him a reassuring smile. "I can always catch up with him." He nods. "You were saying? About Jongho and Namjoon?"
"Right, yeah." He chuckles a bit. "Namjoon's been talking to the dean and he seems to be onboard with giving us some real estate in the new building to start a program. I think they're still discussing, but it sounds like as long as we do yearly symposiums and update him on the progress of how things are going, it should be good."
"That sounds amazing! I mean, I always knew you and Jongho would be able to push it forward." He does a slight head tilt.
"Well, baby. I don't know if it's us or Namjoon." You laugh.
"Namjoon wouldn't be able to make a valid case if you two weren't doing great work."
"True. I think it'll be able to help bridge a lot of future collaborations, especially in different departments. Like Zara's, Applied Physics." You quietly sip on your cocktail and nod, taking a big gulp to [hopefully] swallow down the question you want to ask, the question you're so curious about. San catches on quick, though. He sips on his cocktail and furrows his brows slightly, trying his best to read you from his seat. "What're you thinking about?"
"Huh? Nothing."
"Angel." He laughs a bit. "I told you you could ask me anything, remember?" You sigh and give him a look before caving.
"So, have your friends been trying to hook you up with her?"
"Zara?" You nod. "Yeah. I'm not gonna lie."
"Hm." You hum.
"But, we're just colleagues, love. Nothing else."
"They think you two make a good pair."
"I don't. We're good as colleagues, and quite frankly, I never really saw her in any other way since the beginning." Silence. "What's on your mind, hm?"
"I just tend to overthink, that's all. She's a professor, too. She's the same age as you, on the same kind of path. Has life figured out and is pretty set. Pretty. What if you realize we aren't a good pair and you two actually are?" He shakes his head.
"Babe— baby. I'm gonna have to stop you right there, okay? That's not gonna happen or else I wouldn't have pursued this if I knew I wasn't set on this. If I had any doubts about us or what was going on between us, I wouldn't have continued. I'm not like that. I would never do that to you." He looks at you and you can't help but give him a tiny, toothless smile; feeling reassured from the way he looks at you alone.
Like you've hung up the stars in the sky.
"I trust you." Is all you manage to say.
"Good." He grabs your hand and places a kiss on your knuckles. "I don't want you to worry. Let's enjoy ourselves tonight." You nod.
As dinner progresses, you and San talk endlessly about life, family and stories from the past. You talk about what your friends have been up to, what your mom has been texting you about, new shows and books you've been trying to get into and San always listens so intently. Dinner lasts for about 2.5 hours before you're two cocktails deep and heading out of the restaurant to the bar just further down the street. This time, you lead for the rest of the night. You take San's hand and follow the loud music, the crowd. You fall into the bar, already bouncing to the beat with San close behind you. You order a few shots from the bartender, San giving you a look as he whispers in your ear about how good you look glowing under the dim light, how good you look happy. San takes the shots with you, ending up on the dance floor with you. Everyone else around you seems too intoxicated to care about their surroundings; too intoxicated, too happy enjoying the moment. And surprisingly, San is, too. He holds you close as the song blasts through the bar, gripping your hips as you work your ass against him. He keeps up with your rhythm well as he dances along, playfully turning you to face him so he could praise you in your ear while he squeezes at your ass.
You're not sure this man lacks in anything, and it's crazy to call him yours.
But, he is.
He is, he is.
You and San spend a good hour at the bar before you walk over to the beach and stumble your way back into the hotel from the back entrance. The both of you are still in good spirits despite the exhaustion slowly creeping up, laughing and joking with each other until you've finally made it back inside the room.
"That was fun." He smiles, pulling you flush against him before cupping your cheeks and kissing you on the lips. "Thank you, baby." He thanks you because he's not sure he's felt this alive in a long, long time. Even though he had his good moments with Iseul, he can say their relationship was never that spontaneous. They kept within routine a lot, did the usual things with their friends a lot. Iseul wouldn't dare take him down the street into a random bar to take shots and dance the night away while out of town.
Everything about you was so good, so different, so good to be true. But, you were all his and he was all yours.
He wishes he could stay here with you, in this moment. With no worries about school, work, the outside world. People.
"No, thank you." You smile sweetly at him, but he can't admire it for long when his phone buzzes in his pocket despite it being on do not disturb.
jongho: can i call you real quick? sorry, kinda urgent but i won't take up much of your time.
san: yeah, sure.
"I'm sorry baby, I have to take this." He flashes the screen, showing Jongho's name come up. "Real quick."
"No worries." You chuckle. "I'll clean up around here." He nods, walking off.
"Yo." San picks up the call while he decides to stand outside on the balcony.
"Aye. Where have you been? I sent you some emails but it's been crickets." Jongho asks.
"My bad. I told you I was going to the Baskin Conference."
"Oh, you actually went? I thought you were still thinking about it."
"No. What's up?"
"Are you alone?"
"Why?"
"Okay." Jongho chuckles. "Anyway, I was just wondering where you were at since I haven't seen you and heard from you. I received a 'just in time' email for the new proposal we worked on. Might be good to start getting our approvals together for it so we can get the grant awarded ASAP." San nods, relaxing when he feels you wrap your arms around him from behind. He turns to face you, one arm coming around you while you look up at him; other hand still occupied with holding the phone to his ear. San watches you carefully as you lay random, soft kisses against his jaw and silently giggle— teasing him in the same manner that drives him crazy.
"That's great news, actually! Kinda been bombing out some of the grants I have right now and have yet to renew some of them." Jongho laughs loudly.
"Yeah, same."
"I'll prioritize it and get it done when I get back."
"Sounds good. I've already looped in the others in that email to get it started."
"Thanks."
"Enjoy yourself down there." Pause. "And San?"
"Yeah?"
"Please be careful with her."
"I'll talk to you when I get back." San hangs up the call and slips his phone into his pocket, smirking when he finally gets to hold you close. "And what do you think you're doing, hm?"
"Just wanted your attention." You pout.
"You always have my attention, angel. There's no doubt about that." You bite your lip and tippy-toe to kiss him, pressing yourself flush against his body while you deepen the kiss. You feel him hardening against you, causing you to moan into his mouth. He briefly pulls back, smiling down at you as his hand travels down and beneath your dress— fingers teasing at the edge of your panties. "Think you can keep quiet for me?" Your breathing hitches when his fingers dip beneath the material and start slowly rubbing at your clit. He keeps his eyes on you the entire time, watching the way you let out silent moans even as he finally slips two fingers inside of you.
"Babe—"
"Shh." He shushes you with a smile. "Don't worry about anyone." He says, expertly hiding your figure in front of his, keeping you at an angle behind the decorative pots and plants sitting on the balcony for aesthetics. "Just let me take care of you." He grazes his lips against yours, indulging in the way you quietly whine against him, indulging in the way your slickness covers his digits.
You're dripping.
He picks up the pace as he tries to quietly [and subtly] finger fuck you on the balcony, enjoying the way your head tilts back in pleasure, giving him access to the surface of your neck for small little kisses, love bites that aren't so obvious to the naked eye.
"So close— so good." You moan softly against his lips, trying to keep yourself as quiet as possible on this balcony, threatening to tip over the edge any second now. "I'm gonna—"
"Mm, I don't think so, love." He teases when he feels you clench around his fingers.
"Wanna cum, San. Please." You beg and San smirks. He removes his digits from inside of you, letting out an evil [and fucked up] chuckle. "Sannie." You whine, feeling needy and so incredibly weak at how he stripped you of your orgasm. You needed him, badly. You craved him, badly. "I need to—"
"And you will. Just not now." He teases. "Open for me." He says, slipping his two digits into your mouth to watch you suck on your own juices— tongue swirling around his pretty fingers. "Taste good, baby?" You nod so innocently. "That's my good girl. I'll make the wait worthwhile, hm?" He grips your jaw as he talks lowly near your ear. He begins to trail kisses from your jawline down to your neck, tongue swiping across the surface before nibbling and sucking ever so gently. As much as he'd love to paint your skin with all those marks, he knows he shouldn't.
"San, please." You beg again, hands tangled in the ends of his hair as he continues to kiss your neck in all the right spots. San is pressed up against you, and you can feel his hard, aching cock against your thigh. Your hand comes down to give it a feel, a quick squeeze, before he's letting out a low, breathy moan against your skin.
"Bed. Now." He demands, letting you lead the way to the bedroom;
A trail of clothes following suit.
Shirt gone. Pants gone. Dress gone.
Boxers off to the side. Panties somewhere in the room.
Balcony door still wide the fuck open.
He gets you situated on the edge of the bed, keeping your legs cocked open for him as he dives right in to get a taste of you. He swipes his tongue up, teasing your clit before sucking gently. He continues to lap away at your heat— expertly tonguing your folds in between and teasing your entrance. At some point, he slips in a digit; finger fucking you while he watches you writhe from his angle. You let out his name a few times, your moaning and begging sounding like pure music to his ears.
"Wanna cum for me?" You nod, eager to unravel and snap in his hold. "You've been good, baby. Go ahead and cum for me."
"Fuck— please." He spits on your pussy and continues to suck away at your clit; allowing you to grip his head with slight force as you keep him in his position and grind against his mouth, his tongue. "Oh shit—" You mewl, yelling his name shortly after as you come undone— body twitching as your orgasm hits you like a wave. San continues to latch on until your body settles, releasing himself from in between your thighs to hover over you and plant a trail of gentle kisses up your stomach;
Chest.
Neck.
Until he meets your lips in a deep, heated kiss. His hand comes up to cup your breast, thumb toying with your nipple while you respond to his touch. You lazily stroke him while he continues to kiss you, letting out low groans in between.
"Turn around for me, sweetheart." He whispers against your lips, gently biting down on your bottom lip and pulling back. You do as you're told, flipping onto your tummy as San presses you down against the mattress— ass up and backed up against him. He runs his hand down your back, pressing feathery kisses against the surface before slowly stroking himself and lining up at your entrance. He eases himself in, the both of you letting out loud moans that fill the room; probably echoing out into the balcony. He buries himself to the hilt before working at a slower pace, hands gripping your hips while he adjusts to the feeling of you wrapped tightly around him. He watches his cock slip in and out of you, your slickness coating his length. He hisses at the sight, head tilting back in pure pleasure as he finally begins to pound into you.
"That's my fucking good girl." He presses you down into the mattress, keeping your ass up against him. You continue to moan loudly, San giving your ass a loud smack as he continues to thrust into you roughly. "Tell me— whose pussy is this?"
"Yours."
"Louder, baby. Tell me whose is it."
"Yours!" You cry, San groaning behind you as he gives your ass another smack.
"Fuck, that's right." He groans. "So perfect, angel. You're all mine." He tugs on your hair and pulls you back towards him slightly, giving him leverage to moan praises in your ear as he continues to fuck into you. "Want you to ride me, can you do that for me, sweetheart?" You nod in between your whines, desperate to do anything for your man—
Desperate to feel him in any way, desperate to tip over the edge and come undone.
Suddenly, San pulls himself out and you feel empty. He lays back on the bed, resting against the headboard as he has you climb ontop and face the balcony doors.
"Yeah, baby. Like that." He moans lowly while you instantly start to work him at a steady pace, eager to fill this ache in your core. "Always know how to ride me— made for me." He praises from behind as you swirl your hips around and bounce on his cock like no tomorrow. The new angle works in your favor deliciously; his perfectly thick cock rubbing against your walls and knocking his tip right at that delicate spot that always has you spiraling. You call his name out like a mantra as your hips work faster, sloppier.
You don't think you can hold on any longer.
"Mm— feels too good—San." Your moans are broken, breathing irregular. San knows you're close. "Can I cum?" You whimper, no longer able to hold back. "Wanna cum for you again." You plead cutely.
"Yes you can, love. Look at you, so pretty riding me." He praises you. "I'm getting there, just—fuck— keep doing that." He watches the way your ass bounces on him, relishing in the way your walls tighten around him. "Doing so well."
He'll snap.
"Sannie—" Everything feels like a blur, like white noise, when your orgasm comes crashing down on you in one swift motion. Your moan bounces off the walls as you still in his grip and ride out your orgasm; San fucking up into you to chase his own high shortly afterwards.
"Oh shit—" San's face contorts in pleasure, brows knitting tightly as he shoots his cum into you. "Shit." He repeats in between low groans, his fingers digging into your flesh as he releases every last drop inside of you. Cum damn near dripping out of your pussy.
"Oh my god." You pant, finally able to come to your senses post-orgasm. You give yourself a minute before carefully climbing off, giggling at San's fucked out look. You kiss him sweetly on the lips, continuing a string of tiny repeated kisses before you gain energy to head to the shower. "Gonna wash up if you wanna join me?" San smirks as he watches you head into the shower and turn the water on. He sighs before hopping off the bed and following suit, slipping into the shower right behind you. At first, it starts off sweet; San carefully taking his time with massaging the shampoo and conditioner in your hair and vice versa in between sharing deep, heated kisses.
His hands roam up your body, sweet touches and gentle moves— just to take you again in the shower; your back pressed against the cold wall, his arm hooked under your leg to prop it up while he fucks up into you harshly, roughly.
His name being called over, and over, and over again; just the way he likes it. Making you cum over, and over, and over again; just the way he likes it.
Because you are his, and he is yours.
The next morning comes, and you're awaken by San's soft hand slowly rubbing up your back along with his soft kisses to your bare shoulder. The sun is beaming through the balcony doors, providing extra warmth as San cuddles close to you.
"Wake up." He whispers in your ear, still continuing his motions on your back.
"I'm so tired." You mumble into the pillow, causing San to chuckle.
"Let's get breakfast before the conference."
"Is it really time already?"
"Mhm." He hums in a sing-song tone, now gently massaging your back.
"Can't we just stay like this?"
"You know I'd want that more than anything." He gives you a kiss to the head before dragging his body out of the sheets and into the bathroom. You stretch and fully wake yourself up, grabbing San's button-up from the nearby chair and slipping it on. You continue with your normal morning routine— the only difference this time is having San around, which makes things feel a little more complete. Once you've both gotten yourselves together, San is in a plain black tee and black jeans, glasses sitting on the bridge of his nose; you're in a simple get-up of a tight, white tee, dark jeans, an oversized blazer and boots. The two of you add finishing touches to hair or makeup before cleaning up around the room and heading downstairs to the next door restaurant for brunch. It's still pretty early, so you and San were sat immediately at a table on the back patio, facing the beach.
"This is pretty." You look out at the view. "It's perfect weather today."
"Yeah, it is." He flips through the menu. "You already know what you want, baby?"
"Mhm." You giggle. "I checked out the menu earlier." He laughs.
"Course."
"You ready to lead one of the panel discussions later?" He smiles.
"Uh, I'd say I'm way more relaxed knowing I don't have to prepare anything in advance." You nod. "What're you gonna do?"
"Listen in. Visit some posters after."
"Good thing my panel discussion is early. I actually don't plan on staying long unless you do."
"No. I only came for you, remember?" You tease. "I'm surprised they still managed to slip you into the conference somehow even though you confirmed last minute. You're so wanted, Professor Choi." He shakes his head. Suddenly, your phone starts blaring off to the side, your eyes darting straight down to the caller ID flashing on the screen.
Jiung.
That's right.
You said you'd call him back.
"You should get that, love." You silently nod, swiping to answer the call.
"Hey."
"Okay, well. At least you're alive."
"Jiung." You whine a bit. "I'm sorry, I forgot."
"Bro." Jiung chuckles a bit, though kinda disappointed he hasn't been able to spend time with his bestfriend or even talk to you like before. You feel busy, but too distant, and Jiung isn't sure how to feel about it. "Where have you been? You're always so busy now. I was lowkey expecting you to call back last night but you didn't even do that when you usually do." You fiddle with the hem of your shirt before letting out a small sigh.
"I'm sorry. I know. It's just been crazy hectic, but I promise I'll do better, okay?" San looks at you from where he's sitting, slight concern crossing his expression.
"It's not that. Sorry— I just miss being able to hang out with you like before. You feel so distant even though you're right there."
—FLASHBACK
"Ayooooo!" Sunwoo says, running into Jiung near the Harvey Center. He gives him a dap and pulls him in for a hug, pausing in his steps to catch up with him for a quick minute. "What's up? Crazy I've barely ran into you all this time."
"Aye." Jiung laughs. "How's everything been?"
"Dude, pretty busy. But, I think Y/N and I have gotten some really good data to work off of for her rotation update and for the upcoming review cycles for the paper."
"That's awesome, I'm glad."
"How're things in Jongho's lab?"
"Constantly moving, you know how it is." He nods in agreement. "But making progress for my own rotation update, too."
"Sick. Proud of you." Sunwoo nods. "When is Y/N coming back from the conference?"
"I'm not sure actually. Probably Monday or Tuesday."
"I feel like I've barely seen her even though we're in the same lab." Jiung cocks his head to the side.
"Don't you guys work on behavior together?"
"Uh, for awhile, she's been working on her own schedule and catches me up later on. We only meet if we need to, like to go over data or if something goes wrong elsewhere."
"But, I thought you guys have been working late nights? She always says she's running off to the lab for the mice or behavior work." Sunwoo shrugs.
"Sorry dude, beats me. She hasn't been in the lab late at night for awhile. Our mice have been fine and we're wrapping up this cohort."
"Huh." Jiung says audibly, even though he meant it for himself.
"Yeah. She left for the Baskin Conference hella quick. I didn't even see her at NAS."
"Wait, really? I thought—" It's Sunwoo's turn to look confused. "Nevermind. I thought she saw you."
"Nah, she said she was busy with you guys all week!"
"So, she didn't sleep at yours or Belle's room?" Sunwoo tilts his head.
"Bruh, what? No." He laughs. "She definitely wasn't with us, so I'm not sure who she was with."
"I see." Jiung nods slowly. "Yeah, I guess it's just been hectic for her."
"I bet. I remember rotation days." He chuckles. "Anyway, gotta run. It was nice catching up for a quick minute." Jiung nods before parting ways. He lets out a breath, running his hand through his hair as he pulls out his phone.
He pauses.
What the fuck was he even gonna ask? How was he even gonna ask? While you're away, too?
What is even going through his mind right now?
"Ugh." Jiung groans, pulling up Felix's number to see if he's around, hoping it'll get his mind off of things until he can cohesively gather his thoughts. Meanwhile, Zara and Jongho are sitting at a table outside, waiting for the rest of the group to trickle in for lunch. Zara is having a fun, light conversation with Jongho about future lab plans just as Jiung crosses over. With Jiung passing the café, Zara suddenly gets triggered to ask the most pressing question she's had since the NAS conference. And Jongho senses it too, because by the time she shifts her attention back to him, he's already cocking a brow up.
"Jongho."
"Yes?"
"Can I ask you something?"
"Sure? I might have an answer."
"San." Jongho smirks a bit as he sips on his iced americano.
"Ew." He laughs in his usual Jongho fashion, causing Zara to giggle shyly at her attempts of hiding her crush on his bestfriend. "Kidding. What about him?"
"Actually, now I'm kinda shy."
"No, you already put it out there so you have to ask now." Jongho chuckles.
"Has he been seeing anyone recently?" He takes a sip and sits back, letting out a sigh.
"You know, to be honest. I can't say for sure, but I think he is." He looks at her and can physically see the hope leaving her body. She's sad, and she has a right to be. Mingi tried his best to set them up and for a split second, it seemed like it could work.
Obviously, it didn't.
"I'm sorry, Zara. I know that's not what you wanna hear, but I have to be honest so that you don't get hurt. I think whatever your gut has been telling you is right."
"Is it too much to ask who? Like are they from here?" He shrugs.
"That asshole hasn't told me much lately." She laughs, and Jongho feels relieved he can at least cheer her up amidst the news.
He knows.
He knows exactly who it is and how long it's been. San didn't have to tell him, but he could have at least let her know he wasn't interested. Fucking Choi San.
"It's fine. It shouldn't matter anyway, he seems to be happy."
"Yeah." Jongho adds. "Yeah, he does."
"And I just hope he's doing the right thing." Jongho looks at her without saying much besides a simple nod.
Maybe, she knows too.
—END
"I know." Silence. "I'll make up for it when I get back."
"All good. I just hadda get it off of my chest."
"We'll plan things like the old days, k?"
"When are you getting back, anyway?"
"Tomorrow evening. Late."
"Hm, okay. Are you enjoying your stay at least?"
"I am, it's really nice here."
"That's good. Enjoy yourself there, but be safe, please."
"I will."
"I just wanted to make sure you were okay. Are you sure you are?" What he really means to say is 'i know you haven't been telling the truth and i just wanna know why.'
"I am, Jiung. I promise."
"Did you see anyone there, by the way? Any familiar faces? Professors?" You furrow your brows at the random question.
"Hm, no. Not yet, at least. I've been staying at a hotel that's a little farther out."
"Oh. Why? Was it cheaper?"
"Mhm." You respond just to brush off the topic.
"I heard Professor Choi was gonna be there, though!"
"Mm. I think it might've been mentioned by him in passing." Jiung fiddles with the hem of his shirt while he listens to the awkward silence on the other line, trying to figure out what exactly he's trying to hear from you. He remembers Jurin mentioning that she saw you with Professor Choi at the bar and she jokingly teased about it. And Jiung laughed it off. But, now he doesn't think it's a joke anymore. Cause everything within him is pointing to something he thinks is entirely off, entirely wrong. Unreal.
Unacceptable.
But, the pieces to the puzzle are slowly being put together and he swears he can't ignore the feeling in his gut. What exactly is it trying to tell him?
That it's true?
He doesn't want it to be, and for once, he hopes he's fucking wrong.
"Alright, well. I'll let you be." He yawns. "I'm about to go out for a run."
"Be safe."
"Text me when you get home, please?"
"I will."
"Is.. everything okay?" You sigh and set your phone aside.
"Yeah, it's just Jiung. We've always been close and we've always spent a lot of time together so he was just wondering where I've been."
"I'm sorry, baby."
"No, you don't have to say sorry. I just have to be better about my time and spending more time with my friends. Kinda hard when you have a hot bf." He snorts.
"But, you should spend more time with them. I'm not going anywhere so don't worry about me."
"It's on me."
"You think they know who you've been spending time with?" He smirks just as the waitress comes to set down the food. San gives her a quick nod of appreciation before returning his attention to you.
"I don't think so."
"Even Jiung?"
"Doubt it." You start digging into your food.
"Can I ask you one more thing, angel?" You look up at him and nod, chewing your food. "Have you ever thought Jiung liked you as more than a friend?"
"No way." He cocks a brow up as he eats.
"You sure?"
"I'm so sure, Sannie."
"I'm genuinely just curious. He seems to really care about you."
"And I do, too. But, we do as friends."
"Fair enough." Is all San says. He's not entirely bothered by it, but at the same time, he is. Because he knows they'll find out one day. He knows the relationship won't always be a secret to your friends. He's just not sure what that means when it comes to Jiung and how much of a voice he'll be in your ear. Would he try to convince you that San doesn't care about you? Would he try to convince you that all of this was incredibly wrong? Force you to face the facts and wake the hell up?
He brushes the thoughts away when you start talking about your mom and how you plan to see her next weekend. The conversation goes down the rabbit hole— the two of you exchanging more childhood stories and memories.
When breakfast is done, you and San drive over to the venue for the conference. The session for the panel discussion he's participating in starts right after the first talk of the conference. When he pulls up to the venue, he luckily finds a spot at the back end, far corner. It's a bit of a walk to the main entrance, and San is having to walk in first since he needs to check in and head straight to the mic room for audio testing and a quick run down of what to expect. You trail in a few minutes after, checking in as a regular guest and grabbing the agenda on your way into the main conference room where all the talks and poster sessions would be taking place.
You don't see any familiar faces or professors you personally know, which allows you to release a breath of relief. You settle into a seat as the first speaker gets introduced and settled onto the stage, the crew bringing up her presentation on the projector. San is sitting off to the side with two other people— names you are slightly familiar with, but haven't done much research on their work or what they've been up to. Everyone around you is dressed in business casual attire as well, taking notes as she continues to go through her 20 minute presentation. Once the 20 mins breezes on by, the host kicks off the 10 min discussion session that starts off with San highlighting some of her data. It does spark a lively conversation between the panelists and the crowd, a few people raising their hands for quick questions.
After her session finishes, the host introduces the next talk that follows the same format, then the last of the session. It's about a good hour and a half, shy over a few minutes, that they conclude session one and adjourn for a break before session two. You head to the opposite end of the room to see the posters up at this time, pausing at a few and jotting down some notes for Belle and Sunwoo. You know they'd be interested in hearing your findings, and you've already stumbled across some intriguing projects in the 15 minutes you've walked down the aisle. As session two kicks off, you continue to observe the rest of the posters, spotting San in the crowd speaking to a small group of people around him. You watch him for a little, adoring the way he flawlessly pulls people in and charms them with his signature, dimpled smile. He has a hand in his pocket, cup of coffee in the other hand.
It's definitely black coffee and you can't help but wince a little to yourself knowing he's happily sipping that.
And, somehow, he always manages to catch you. Just as you're about to turn and finish up with the posters, he meets your gaze and gives you a tiny smile. His eyes linger on you for a little longer before he returns his attention to the group, causing the heat to rise to your cheeks as you pass through the remaining presenters.
san: wanna head out after session 3?
you: damn already? 🤣
san: baby? lol.
san: i meant it when i said i wasn't trying to stay long. 🥹
san: i just wanna get out of here and spend more time with you before we have to fly back.
you: mkay, lover boy. hahaha
san: come meet me by the ballroom entrance, we can find a seat together once session 2 wraps up.
you: okay, professor!
You do as you're told, meeting San by the entrance. You stick by his side as you wait for session two to wrap up, proceeding to the free seats near the left side of the room. The both of you keep it strictly professional as others settle around you, only really discussing things like your findings from the poster session or his panel discussion.
No one bats an eye.
Meanwhile, Yunho walks into lobby and struts into the conference late. He rushed over from a prior commitment, only deciding to join the conference since he was already in the area. Session 3 is about to end, but Yunho is at the back, greeting those around him quietly before taking a moment to stroll down the posters. He asks a few questions, engages with a few presenters before running into other familiar faces and conversing with them. He follows them over to the finger foods that have been set out for lunch, grabbing some quick bites to nibble on. At some point, he hurries off to the bathroom to release himself and quickly freshen up— already pretty exhausted from his day, and it's barely past lunch time.
When Yunho exits the bathroom, he has to pause in his steps when he does a double-take after hearing the side back door shut and catches you with San. The two of you are leaving the venue— his hand on the small of your back while he hurriedly guides you to the passenger's seat of his car near the back end of the lot. Yunho continues to watch as San slips into the front seat, swallowing the lump in this throat as he pulls out and drives off.
Now, Yunho feels the conflict bubbling within him cause he didn't want to be right.
Yet, he is.
And it can't be good for anybody.
"Hey." Yunho answers the call [coincidentally] coming in from his wife. He sets down the hall, eyes still peering out into the lot as if he can see more of you and San. He clearly doesn't, but it doesn't make the feeling in his stomach settle.
"Hey! How's the conference going?"
"It's going well! Nothing too crazy." Is all he manages to say, which catches Iseul off guard. He's typically one to say more, so him holding back feels weird to her.
"You sure it's going well? You sound pretty quiet."
"Yeah, uh. It's nothing."
"Love." He sighs, silently greeting familiar faces before excusing himself to the corner of the lobby where it's a little quieter.
"I just don't know how to explain what I saw."
"Try?"
"San's here with Y/N, my TA."
"Okay? She's rotating in his lab, right? People meet up with their students all the time, I don't get it?"
"No, baby. Listen. I think he's here.. with her." There's a small pause before Iseul speaks up again.
"Are you sure? Cause that's a pretty bold assumption. You know something like that is serious and can cause a lot of issues."
"I don't know. I can't say, but I'm just feeling weird about it. I did see them together at NAS, too. Saw them getting kinda close with each other, away from the crowd." Yunho just briefly remembers running into you and San on his way out of the bathroom. The two of you had been standing off to the side in a far corner, sipping on some water while talking. San was standing in close proximity to you, smiling down at you almost like—
There was fondness in his eyes, some kind of awe and admiration for you.
Yunho and San haven't talked in years, but he still knows what that look is. He's seen it before.
Starting with the symposium.
"Yunho, why don't you talk to Namjoon?"
"No, no." He shakes his head as he continues to pace around the same corner. "Not gonna do that right now cause what if I'm entirely wrong? I don't have any other concrete facts besides what I saw. What if he's just offering her a ride?"
"I mean, that could mean something or nothing at all. Were they just walking alongside of each other or..?"
"Uh, no." He scratches at his temple. "He had his hand on her back and guided her to the car."
"Okay, so it's something. You should talk to Namjoon." He shakes his head— torn between doing what's right versus what's wrong; aka letting San be happy despite how fucked up all of that is on the surface level.
"I, yeah— Anyway, that's all. Enough about that, I'll figure it out." Iseul sighs. "Conference is good though, seeing more familiar faces than I did at NAS."
"Hm." Iseul hums, now thinking about the idea of San potentially dating a student. She doesn't try to meddle though because both her and Yunho don't have much to work with. And although her and San don't get along, she doesn't wanna cause any more trouble for him. "That's good, honey."
Yet, at the same time, there's no way she can let this be now. Yunho opened that door and they're here.
If she needs to help him figure it out, then that's exactly what she'll do.
—read 9.5 here
—taglist: @asjkdk @interweab @woojirang @svintsandghosts @cheolliehugs @persphonesorchid @mxnsxngie @jycas @cowboydk @vcutparis @chngbnwf @struggling101 @sanhwalvr @angelqueendom @barbielibra @brown88 @choisansplushie @yunhoswrldddd @hyukssunflower @vickykazuya @lucid-galaxys-world @jaytheatiny @pommelex @thechaotictheoryy @vixensss @santineez @nopension @domfikeluva @in-somnias-world @my-atiny-kookie-rkive @mountiiny @naoristerling
#san fanfic#san series#choi san series#choi san fanfic#san#ateez#choi san#san x reader#choi san x reader#ateez x reader#kpop imagines#kpop#kpop smut#san x y/n#choi san x y/n#san angst#san fluff#san smut#choi san angst#choi san fluff#choi san smut#ateez fluff#ateez angst#ateez smut#hwaslayer: wildfire
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Dove: A Zombie!Ghost Story (Chapter Ten)
Summary: Simon’s arms were impossibly tight around her, almost crushing her to his chest. Lelia didn’t mind. She wanted to be as close to him as physically possible—would have crawled inside his ribcage and nestled next to his unbeating heart, if she could have. She knew she would be safe there. Simon always kept her safe. Word Count: 2972 Warnings: still no smut but Ghost does something a tad creepy (it's okay we still love him), flashback/descriptions of past non-con, extreme cuteness Notes: I hope you all enjoy getting this chapter a day early this week! I will be on a road trip starting tomorrow, so posting will not be possible. This chapter has one of my favorite scenes I've written for this fic, it's so sweet. All dividers were made by @/sweetmelodygraphics (original post here). The zombie divider indicates the text below is Ghost's POV, the dove divider inidcates Lelia's POV. The combined dove and zombie divider represents a time skip but not a POV change. I still have no beta for this fic so all SPAG and consistency errors are my own, feel free to point them out. Comments and reblogs are highly appreciated! AO3, Masterlist
It took them two more days to reach the village, and just in time. Snow had started falling an hour before, and it didn't look like it was going to stop any time soon.
The village appeared mostly untouched from what Ghost could see of it, and he was glad. That meant they’d be more likely to find supplies that his dove desperately needed. The final bottle of water was finished yesterday, the last time she’d eaten was at the river, when he’d managed to catch a fish for her while bathing. She was shaking like a leaf, too, the exposed skin of her face bright red from the cold.
Needing to get her warm immediately, Ghost shuffled her into the first house they saw. It was a small thing, only a little bigger than the cabin. Lelia practically collapsed on the couch in front of the unlit fireplace, looking between him and it hopefully as she shivered, her teeth chattering. Simon shook his head, letting out an apologetic grunt that made her face drop in the most horrible way. But he couldn’t risk lighting it before he’d cleared the village and made sure he wouldn’t be alerting anyone to their presence.
So instead, he helped her take off her soaked puffer jacket, replacing it with the thick quilt folded over the arm of the couch. He hung the jacket on a coat rack near the door, along with her hat, mittens, and jeans, which were heavy with melted snow. He placed his helmet and vest on the floor next to it, a habit he'd formed at his dove’s request. She said she wanted him to be more comfortable around her, but sometimes he thought seeing all the gear just brought up bad memories for her.
Next, he disappeared into the toilet, coming back with a fluffy towel. He kneeled down in front of Lelia, undoing her boots—his fingers had gotten much more dexterous with continued use, though he was still slow—and peeling off her wet socks. Her feet were red and irritated, but he let out a breath of relief when there were no signs of frostbite.
She’d asked him once why he still did that—breathing. He didn’t do it all the time, didn’t need to, but sometimes he let out a whoosh of air or inhaled sharply when the urge overtook him. He’d just given her a shrug. He didn’t really know—but it did hurt his pride a bit that little habits like that were harder to kill than he had been.
He wrapped the towel around her left foot and began to dry it—only to stop when Lelia nearly kicked him, letting out a shriek of laughter.
“S-sorry,” she said sheepishly. “Tickles.”
Simon’s eyes crinkled, and he resumed drying her foot off, more carefully this time. She let out cute little giggles while squirming in place. He may have been more thorough than necessary, just to get her to the point where she was clutching her sides and gasping for breath, a wide grin on her face.
Damn it all, he wanted to kiss her.
When she finally wheezed out a plea for mercy, he stopped and sat back, just looking up at her admiringly for a long moment. He knew he shouldn't indulge the direction his thoughts were going, but he couldn't help it. She looked so fucking pretty, sitting above him, her chest still heaving from trying to catch her breath, a sweet smile on her face.
Before he even realized what he was doing, he started massaging her sore feet. She twitched again, looking down at him with playful suspicion. But when he didn’t start wiggling his fingers against the soles, she relaxed, fixing the blanket so it made a hood over her head and settling further into the couch.
She still giggled when he rubbed a particularly ticklish spot, but she let out soft sighs of contentment, too. Especially when his hands moved from her feet up to her calves. He didn’t slide them beneath her woolen stockings like he wanted to, knowing his ice cold fingers would only make her shiver more. But he massaged her through them, working on the tight muscles.
He stopped when he got to her knees, just the tips of his fingers brushing her thighs. He heard her heart rate pick up, and before he could pull away, he smelled it. Sweet and subtle and musky. She was aroused again.
He looked up at her as he began to drool. She was dozing, not quite asleep but not awake, either. He licked his teeth. He wanted to taste her so badly. And not her flesh this time, either. He'd had a whole buck just a couple of days ago—the virus’s instincts were satiated. No, the hunger he felt right now was all too human.
Before he could think better of it, Ghost nudged her thighs apart a little bit. He wasn't going to touch her, no matter how badly he wanted to. He just wanted to smell her a little better…
Watching her carefully, he leaned in until his nose brushed against the apex of her thighs from beneath his mask. She twitched, but didn't open her eyes. So he inhaled deeply—only to immediately let out a sound between a loud growl and moan, unable to stop himself.
“Simon?” His dove asked sleepily, squinting down at him. He pulled back, but not fast enough. She frowned at him, clearly confused, and rubbed her eyes, as if that might help her understand what she was seeing better. “What are you doing?”
Ghost had no bloody idea how to answer. Wouldn't have even if he could’ve talked. He didn't know how to explain what she’d caught him doing. That he wasn’t sniffing between her legs like a dog because he wanted to eat her—at least not in the way a zombie should. He thought she would be more understanding if that were the case. If it had been him almost giving into the virus, and not just him being a perverted old man creeping on a young, pretty thing like her while she was vulnerable.
“You’re shaking,” Lelia said, voice soft and concerned, and she reached down, running her fingers through his hair. Simon’s eyes widened and he stiffened in shock. Instantly, his dove stopped, beginning to pull her hand back, already starting to apologize. He grabbed her wrist, almost too hard, and brought her hand back to his hair. She blinked, but resumed the petting, and his head dropped to rest on her thigh, unable to hold it up any longer. She jumped, and the smell of her arousal grew stronger, but she didn't stop, just used the blanket to gently wipe away the drool on his broken jaw. “It’s alright, Simon. I’m here. You’re not alone anymore.”
Christ, she was far too good for him. He didn't deserve to be near her, let alone for her to comfort him like this, especially after what he'd just done. Something she clearly misinterpreted, because there was no way in hell, earth, or heaven that she would be touching him so sweetly if she had. It made him wonder about just how innocent she was, if she didn't recognize what he'd been doing. Had a man never used his mouth on her? Had she ever even had sex?
Ghost growled softly, trying to clear his head. But her scent was so strong from where he was, and he couldn’t help but think about it. About what was causing it.
He'd written it off as a coincidence, the other day. He’d thought it the only possible explanation. But now…
Taking a risk, Ghost moved his hands from her knees to rest against the sides of her thighs, so he could hug her legs. His dove’s breath stuttered, but she didn't push him away or even stop carding her fingers through his hair.
And the smell of her wetness grew stronger.
Simon let out a disbelieving gurgle, lifting his head a bit to look up at Lelia in awe. She smiled sweetly at him, tenderly brushing the back of her knuckles over the outline of his mask with her free hand, as if stroking his face.
It was a harsh reminder of reality, but one that was sorely needed. By some miracle, she may have been physically attracted to him, but that didn't matter. Not when he still didn’t have lips to kiss her with, or body heat to keep her warm. Not when he couldn't give her children, couldn't even get it up for her because his blood didn't fucking flow. Not when he couldn’t take off his damn mask because he was afraid the sight of his face would give her nightmares.
It didn't matter if she got wet when he touched her, not when he couldn't love her like she deserved.
So instead of pressing any further, he contented himself with what he had—which was far more than he ever thought he would get. The peace it brought him just to rest his head against her leg like this while she petted his hair, to be so close to her and bask in her comfort—it was a gift. One he hadn’t earned but would cherish nonetheless.
After nearly an hour, his dove’s fingers slowed and then finally stopped as she drifted off to sleep. He looked up, surprised. She never let him be so close when she slept. Whenever there was a door she could put between them, she did, and when there wasn’t, she would put as much space as she reasonably could between them. Always on the other side of the campfire, or tucked in a tree hollow only she could fit in. And even then, she’d stay awake until she physically couldn't anymore, heartbeat fast anxious the entire time.
He tried not to take it personally. He was a zombie, of course she was afraid of him suddenly going feral and attacking her while she slept. But the closer they grew, the more it bothered him.
So his dove finally trusting him enough to fall asleep, practically in his arms? He felt higher than a fucking cloud.
He laid his head back down, but continued to stare up at her, happy to watch her peacefully sleeping face and revel in her warmth.
Several hours passed before Lelia was visited by her usual nightmares.
Ghost could tell, because she began to twitch and whimper, calm expression replaced with one of fear and pain, brows drawn together and bottom lip wobbling. Nonsensical pleas escaped her, and tears began to stream down her face. He sat up straight, reaching out to cup her cheek with one hand, the other moving to hold her own. But the second his fingers touched her, Lelia screamed in pure terror, glassy eyes flying open but unseeing.
“Please!” She sobbed as Ghost instinctively pulled her closer to try and comfort her. “No! Stop! Stop!”
Immediately, he let go of her, hands hovering uselessly over her flailing limbs as she tried to fight off her imaginary attacker.
He went through his entire vocabulary of reassuring noises, from groans to grunts to coos, but she didn't seem to recognize any of it. Frustrated, and growing more panicked the longer Lelia continued to sob and beg, he tried to force his ruined mouth to same her name, over and over.
Lelia. Lelia. Lelia. Lelia. Lelia. Lelia.
All that came out was incomprehensible growls and gurgles, though he could feel his throat straining, the vocal chords fluttering like they did when he laughed. He kept trying.
“Llll— Lllleee— Lllluhhh—”
It was no use. His jaw was fucked even if he could manage to actually make the sounds. Her name was just too complicated.
But she was in pain. He could see it on her face. Whatever was happening to her in her dream was hurting her.
And Simon promised he would always protect her.
“Dddd— Ddddoooovveeee…”
The word was garbled and raspy, difficult to understand—but it was a word. The first word he’d spoken since turning. Since dying.
It was fitting, since he hadn’t truly felt alive again until he'd met her.
“Dddooovvee. Dddoovvee. Ddoovvee—” I’m here, my dove, I’m here, you’re safe now, I promise. “Dddove!”
Lelia gasped, her thrashing ceasing as her eyes cleared. She looked around the dark room, confused and still afraid—but when she recognized her zombie’s pale, reflective eyes, her face crumpled and she threw herself at him, wrapping her arms around his neck and burying her face in his chest.
“S-Simon,” she cried, whole body trembling as he pulled her close, one hand rubbing her back, the other petting her hair. “I dreamed— A-Andrew was— he was—”
Lelia’s voice cracked and she sobbed harder, remembering her nightmare—every sordid detail. And they all came pouring out.
“He w-was inside me,” she whimpered. “I w-was asleep and then— and then th-there was pain and I woke up and— and h-he was on top of me and— and—” she sucked in a shuddering breath, “and he— he c-covered my mouth so I c-couldn’t scream but— but I c-couldn’t breathe either and it h-hurt so badly, it always hurt so badly—”
Simon’s arms were impossibly tight around her, almost crushing her to his chest. Lelia didn’t mind. She wanted to be as close to him as physically possible—would have crawled inside his ribcage and nestled next to his unbeating heart, if she could have. She knew she would be safe there. Simon always kept her safe.
The growl he let out at her words was low and furious, but wounded, too. She sniffled, feeling guilty. He probably didn’t want to hear about what Andrew did to her… she was selfish for dumping it all on him.
“I-I’m sorry,” she whispered, trying to pull away, feeling ashamed. Simon didn't let her, cooing in her ear softly. And then, dragged out and mangled, he spoke.
“Dddddoooovvvveee…”
Lelia looked up at him in shock as her brain tried to parse what she’d just heard. Dove. A word, not just one of the deep, throaty noises he used to communicate.
“Did you— Oh my days, Simon! You just— you just spoke!” She yelled, her nightmare completely forgotten. She cradled Simon’s face in her small hands, smiling so widely it hurt. They were so close, chests pressed together as he held her in his lap. Close enough to kiss. “But… why did you say dove?”
Simon’s hands dragged up her sides till they reached her own face, and his cold, thick fingers gently traced each and every one of her features—the arch of her brows, the slope of her nose, the roundness of her cheeks, even the bow of her lips. She blushed deeply at that, heart stuttering in her chest, belly squirming and skin tingling where he’d touched her.
“Dddooovvee,” he repeated. Saliva pooled in his mouth and dripped down his chin. Then, even more carefully, and less understandable, “Lllleeehh— Llll— Llllluuuhhhh.”
Despite the garbled mix of vowels and consonants, she understood him—“Dove. Lelia.”—and it took her breath away.
“I’m Dove?” She asked, voice small but so very moved. Simon groaned affirmatively, fingertips pressed lightly against her cheeks. She smiled at him, expression soft and gooey as a marshmallow. “Is that what you call me in your head? Your dove?”
Simon’s cloudy eyes flickered away from hers, even as he nodded, his shoulders hunched in embarrassment. Lelia laughed, pure and sweet and joyful. Her hands still cupped his face, and she wiped away his drool with the sleeve of her jacket, smiling at him adoringly.
“Sometimes I call you my zombie,” she admitted, tracing the edges of his mask with her thumbs. She wanted so badly to take it off and see his face. But she wouldn’t. She wouldn't break his trust in her. “But mostly I just call you Simon. Like you asked me too.”
Simon’s eyes crinkled, and he closed the minuscule distance between them so their foreheads touched for a brief moment. A silent thanks.
Lelia stared into Simon’s cloudy eyes. She once again wondered what color they had been, before. She was so close to him, she almost thought she saw little glimpses of dark brown—but it had to be just the shadows playing tricks. It was nearly pitch black in the room, after all.
Suddenly, Lelia yawned, her nose bumping against the bottom of his mask. Simon quickly pulled back, arms snaking around her waist as he got to his feet, lifting her up and adjusting her so he was carrying her bridal style. Lelia let out a little eep of surprise, making Simon chuckle. She could feel the vibrations of it against her cheek where it rested on his chest, and she blushed at how nice it felt.
Simon brought her into the bedroom, carefully pulling back the blankets and then laying her down to tuck her in. Once he’d piled up as many blankets on her that he could find, he moved to leave, and Lelia’s hand shot out, fingers wrapping around his thick wrist.
“Stay?” She asked, voice small and hopeful. Simon froze, and Lelia tugged lightly on his arm. She had no hope of actually pulling him into bed with her, but she wanted him to know she was serious about her request.
Finally, Simon groaned quietly in agreement, and then silently got into bed next to her, laying down on top of the blanket. He kept several inches of space between them, and Lelia scooted over so she could lay on his chest. Her eyes fluttered shut, and though there was no soothing heartbeat under her ear or comfortable warmth emanating from Simon’s body, she felt safer than she had in a long time as she drifted off to sleep.
#simon ghost riley#simon riley#ghost call of duty#simon ghost riley fanfiction#ghost cod#zombie ghost x oc#zombie ghost#cod zombies#zombie ghost cod#zombie!ghost#zombie simon riley#simon riley cod#simon riley call of duty#simon riley x oc#simon riley fluff#simon ghost riley fluff#simon ghost riley fic#simon ghost x oc#simon ghost fluff#simon ghost riley x original character#simon ghost riley x female oc#call of duty fanfic#call of duty fic#call of duty#simon riley fanfic#simon riley fic#cod mwii#cod mw ghost#cod fic#cod fanfic
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Sat down at my computer to do a small amount of research and maybe get a start on the next chapter of The Other Me and 4 hours later I've nearly got 2k words and I need to be up for work in 6 hours
#brain go brrr i guess#the other me fic#idk if its a completed chapter yet#it kind of depends on how much i write for the next bit#it might be done though#because i was not expecting this bit to be this long#so this was not the original plan for the focus of the chapter#this bit was supposed to be a quick set up to the chapter#but the more i think about it#the more i want this to be the chapter#because i think it will set up the flow through the end#maybe#i finished way early if this is the chapter though#so i technically have two weeks to figure it out#maybe i'll just be able to write the rest of the fic#and post weekly instead of every other#because i only wanted to post every other to not rush myself and give myself time to properly edit#but if i can get ahead#ride the brain of prouductivity#(this is all unlikely hypitheticals my brain will be on a diff wavelength by tomorrow im sure)
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we’re really in it now chizuchan…
#5 days and a few hours to go till ch6…#aaaaaaaaaaaaa im not ready for it#though. i gotta say that this week wasnt great (understatement)#for more reasons than one too… sigh.#so anyways ive started to read webnovels at work when no one’s around and my results are all reported#the stories are way too good (despite the pay 2 read thing on the app and the occasional tl mishaps)#i finished reading this completed novel early on in the week and it was. sublime. the characters are all so stupid and yet#they all bounce off each other so nicely. and they have reasons for their acts (no matter how horrible) that just.#gives them an extra layer of depth. and the way the story leans into the absurdity of some situations#while also swerving away from expectations at other times is just. brilliant.#but aaaaaaa i wish we had more time to see the ‘og protag’’s pov… he was so funny and for what#it would’ve been nice if the side stories had done things a little differently but it was a fun ride…#though i like how it’s one of those novels where reading the manhwa adaptation alongside#can make some certain events seem more unexpected than they actually are. and the art’s impeccable to boot… man…#and. just. the story’s good at making certain revelations cause certain scenes to hit harder in hindsight…#and how they don’t try to redeem the unredeemable. it’s refreshingly straightforward.#buuuuuuuuut i digress. anyways. um. see y’all next friday for chizuchan chapter 6. or thursday if there’s a random announcement or sth
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this summer treasure hunt event is so good i'm farming tf out of EVERYTHINGG
#lord of heroes#loh#the amount of gold elixirs crystals renown and linkstones im getting is literally so awesome#i've been putting d. brandon and f. rashad together on max auto repeat for 3F of chapter 1 and they clear stages so fast#i can just keep farming that way and hoard tickets#and then since i've gotten all the character episodes completed i can keep doing consecutive hunts#lowkey though. i should've pulled for brandt when he was here......i heard he's great for farming since he's got a bunch of AoE damage#grrrr but saving pity for raligon grrrr#ALSO we have so much time left for the event too?? i feel like i 'finished' it early with the episodes being done#but i can keep getting rewards so imma do that
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Upon seeing the post about second as iida my first thought was and third can be uraraka then I noticed you had the same idea in the tags
Great minds think alike I just think that's what she deserves,,,trio holders to the original trio babeyyy
#*while making a chart* third's lack of familial care meant he had to find his own in group and eventually meant supporting his leader#where later uraraka was raised with love that she would go as far for her parents as third originally would have gone for second#and still is inclined by nature to a supportive role- she has no great aspirations on leadership or power itself but in how she can help#other heroes (where previously how to help a ragtag freedom fighter group)#*continuing to make a chart* now Second's influence on Izuku could link to that early acceptance of 'yeah world isn't fair'#and i see a link in how Second really took apart his minor speed quirk to do more with it and Izuku's general quirk analysis and hacking#but where Second was mistreated as a threat Izuku was seen as a lack of one and someone to pittied even by those who looked him#which influence the way they react to said injustice though both are moving without thinking to do Something about it#(second having support of a group and Izuku very much not is the deciding factor between Izuku not going with the spider plan methinks)#and i think second + third having teamed up first like how Izuku + Uraraka met first is a good parallel with how Tenya is initially#antagonistic to Izuku but ends up joining both quickly when actual opportunity arises and he sees good things from them#and as Yoichi's somewhat black and white morality did develope somewhat specifically to oppose a terrible brother‚(i gotta finish that fic#where i go more into how they pushed each other more extreme to try to shut down loopholes) Tenya's developed in a way both supported by and#to support a great older brother which is why murder is a hundred percent ok if it's for tensei's sake#and this can be expressed by their different aproaches to making their hair look very different from or very similar to their brothers#speaking of hair that chapter where Uraraka did#a ponytail that spiked upwards? and third's hair? i see it#just as i see a connection when it comes to how she grapples and redirects enemy momentum to the fa jin power and connected combat style#also second scar = Izuku's ofa activation and tbh both could not care less about what their hair is doing dhfhfjgg#plus something about Izuku's 'gotta give ofa away' mode we joke about activating and Second's specific disapproval of him#man that self esteem deficiency sure can spread across more than one lifetime!#and of course. hands.#hands in the vault. tenya returning the favor to grab Izuku's#though the next step is to wonder about fourth but i do have an idea. wonder if we're on the same track about it again#pocket talks to people#anon
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Well, I'm glad I had the foresight to take tomorrow off at least.
#i talk#took it off for completely different reasons but really appreciating past me's decision rn#Really feeling that ''please God can I just have one good day?'' vine rn#I also got a very bad sunburn over the weekend and fricked up my shoulder#so would've had issues either way#so much for going to bed early. I still need to finish writing that chapter; Bad's stream distracted me for the last few hours#kinda glad I caught the tail end of it though
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Planning done for the next fatui chiluc chapter. Hopefully we get an update tomorrow 🫡
#zara rambles#my man the rought plan is at 1.2k words already#i thought that's how long the chapter will be...#we'll see how this one turns out then#usually i would work on it now since ots midnight but i got up way to early this morning#tomorrow i will finish it. idk if ill edit it though so expect a chapter in 1-2 days maybe??#im very tired so i have no idea if any of this makes sense sjdjf
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Cherry Red, Crimson Blood
Chapter 16: Big Brown Eyes
Summary: Things have returned to normal, or at least they seem to have. Nothing can ever go your way, though, can it?
Pairing: Poly 141 x reader
Word Count: 7925 words
Warnings: NSFW, 18+, smut, unprotected sex, p in v sex, oral sex, face sitting, grinding, spanking (it's like once and not even on the ass), Kyle is definitely a munch, Alpha/Beta/Omega dynamics, Alternate Universe, a/b/o typical classism and sexism, reader is a little shit, angst, PTSD, nightmares, trauma, mommy issues, family issues, language, the author's bias showing just a tad.
A/N: Have you ever cried while writing smut? I have. Had two mental breakdowns during the course of this chapter, the worst of the two during the smut scene. Sobbing while writing the reader getting her back blown out? That's a new one for me. But, I did it. I finished Chapter 16 this week. I'm feeling significantly better than I was, at least physically. Giving it to you a day early because I feel bad about not posting last week. The events of this chapter pick up pretty much where the previous one left off. Timeline wise, this chapter is spread over roughly a week-ish. And special thanks to the battle rattle anon for inspiring part of this chapter 🫶
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(This is my all time favorite gif of him I swear I stare at it way too much)
You’re clawing at the door frame, desperately clinging to the last thing you can hold on to, the last shred of your life as you know it. You fight the hands pulling at your arms, threatening to pull you away from the comfort, the warmth, the safety of your home, of your pack.
Your mothers grief-stricken sobs reach your ears, her cries of desperation as they rip you from her, your father’s hate filled gaze directed at you over her shoulder as he holds her back. She loves all her children, but you were always her favorite. The bond between you two was always the strongest.
Now you know why.
The arms rip you from the doorframe seconds before the door slams closed. It’s like a gavel strike declaring your fate, cutting you off from everything you knew. You’re pulled back from the door, from the house that had become your safe space, from the pack inside.
They’re not your pack anymore. The thought is like a sharp knife, severing the lifelong bond in your mind. You’re not a part of them anymore. You’re alone in this world, cut off from what you knew, and it’s all your fault.
If only you could have presented as an alpha, like you were supposed to.
You’re sobbing, breaths coming in choking gasps. Your chest feels tight, your body tense and aching as you fight against the constricting hold around you.
“Easy, easy.” A deep voice murmurs in your ear, your senses beginning to return. “Yer alright, kitten.”
Your breaths continue to come in shaky gasps as you start to recognize your surroundings. You’re in Johnny’s room still. His arms are wrapped tight around you, your own pinned against your chest. You had fallen asleep before you even realized it, exhausted after your night with Johnny.
“Ye were havin’ a nightmare.” He says, projecting his natural beta scent in an attempt to get you to relax.
You squeeze your eyes shut, letting the scent start to numb your brain. The tears continue to slide down your cheeks, but slowly your breathing begins to normalize. Johnny begins to loosen his hold around you, not letting you go, but enough that you don’t feel like you’re being constricted anymore.
“Si gets them too.” Johnny continues, speaking quietly. His breath is warm as it fans your ear, reminding you that you’re awake now, and your nightmare is behind you. “Woken up tae elbows and fists in my face many times.”
You keep your eyes closed, taking in deep breaths as Johnny lays with you in silence, his fingers gently stroking your arms. You hadn’t meant to fall asleep. You hadn’t meant to have a nightmare. Not in front of them. You knew it would happen eventually, but you had hoped you could avoid it as long as possible.
You don’t want to reveal your weakness, your pain, your inner struggle to them. They have enough of their own, they don’t need to know how broken you are too.
You lay there, slowly calming your breaths and the slight tremble in your limbs as you wait for Johnny to begin questioning you. He’ll want to know, he’ll want to hear what it is that’s plaguing your mind. You’ll have to tell him, you’ll have to explain everything and then he’ll want to know more. He’ll want to unearth the brokenness and the pain that you’ve buried so deeply like an archaeologist looking for the secrets of an ancient civilization.
You don’t want to reveal it, you want to bury it again, lock it back in the recesses of your mind where it can’t hurt you. You want to compress it back down until you feel safe again without the threat of the past hanging over your head.
Johnny continues to relax his hold around you as you begin to calm down again, the tears finally slowing to a stop. You take deep breaths, trying to match Johnny’s even breathing behind you. You wait for it, the inevitable question, the prodding, the digging. He’ll want answers, he’ll want to know what plagues your mind, how much it’s been happening, why you haven’t said anything.
You’re not sure how much time passes as you lay there, counting breaths. It’s silent in the room, in the barracks. Even outside it’s quiet, as if the world is holding its breath, waiting patiently for the shoe to drop, for the truth to get revealed.
You can't wait any longer. The tension is too thick, the thought of waiting for the question to break the silence is too much. You'll rip the bandaid before he can try and force it from you. “I don't-”
“Ye don't have tae tell me.” He cuts you off before you can even start, the words slicing through yours, stopping you from spilling your darkest, innermost thoughts. “We all have them sometimes. No shame in that.” He tightens his grip on you for a moment, pulling you closer against his chest. “Simon doesn't even tell me all of his. Thinks he might scare me off, or somethin'. I'm no’ gonnae force ye to tell me anythin’ if ye don’ want to.”
You're taken aback by his words. You suppose they all have to be plagued by nightmares of their own, with the kinds of things they have to see when they're in the field. Ghost had told you a bit about the nightmares that haunt him, and that had only been one tragedy, one mission. You suddenly feel silly. The kinds of things you’re afraid of, the nightmares that terrify your mind suddenly seem inconsequential to the things they must dream about at night.
You wiggle in Johnny’s arms until you’re facing him, his eyes half closed as he stares down at you. You shift forward, pressing your face against his bare chest. His head tucks so his chin rests against the top of your head as he holds you, his breathing slowing just slightly as he drifts back to sleep. You don’t sleep, laying there awake as you listen to the slow, rhythmic beating of Johnny’s heart.
He’s snoring quietly, breath fanning across your hair as he sleeps peacefully. You let your fingers trail over his skin as you wait for his early alarm that will signal the end of your quiet moments of bliss, snapping you both back into your realities. You trace the scars lining his skin, all of them with their own stories, just like John’s.
He makes a garbled, snorting noise as your fingers brush over his ribs, his entire body twitching. His hand moves, his fingers wrapping around your wrist. “Tickles.” He murmurs, lifting your arm so it’s draped around his neck. He's asleep almost immediately, as if he hadn't woken at all from your tickling.
You continue to lay there as he sleeps, your mind drifting between sleep and your racing thoughts until Johnny’s alarm goes off. He groans, reaching across you to turn it off. He lays still, breath still fanning over the top of your head. For a moment you’re worried he’s fallen asleep again, but eventually he moves, rolling on top of you.
He presses his face against your neck, letting out a quiet groan. He’s heavy, but a solid weight above you. It’s comforting, the weight of him like a blanket keeping you safe. He presses gentle kisses against your neck, his fingers trailing across your shoulder before brushing over your mark. You let out a whine, arching against him.
“Screamin’ Jesus.” He curses, getting hard against your thigh.
“Don’t you have to go work out?” You ask as he begins to grind against you.
“Would rather stay here with you.” He growls against your throat.
“Won’t you get in trouble?” You gasp, bucking up against him.
“Worth it.” He grunts, kicking the sheets off the end of the bed.
“Someone missed the morning workout.” Kyle says as you and Johnny sit down at the table for breakfast. You’re the last ones there, despite Johnny skipping his early morning workout.
You take your normal spot between Kyle and John, sitting gingerly on the hard bench. There’s still a distinct ache between your thighs from Johnny’s enthusiasm and intense stamina last night and this morning.
“Aye, don’t worry. I still got a good workout in.” Johnny says cheekily, winking across the table at you.
You’re afraid you may combust as the other three pairs of eyes at the table look at you. It’s no secret what you were doing last night, or this morning. Johnny, as in most aspects of his life, is loud in bed. Kyle had known you were going to, and so had Simon, but you find your gaze turning to John as your face warms.
You’re not quite sure what you’re expecting as you look at him. It’s not like he had forbidden you from pursuing relationships with the others, or even shown any distaste at the idea. You were open to love the other members of the pack, just as they did one another, just as he did.
His face is stoic as he stares at you, before it begins to lighten, a gleam shining in his eyes. “Did he take good care of you?” He asks, the corner of his lips twitching.
You swallow thickly, your face getting warmer as you nod. “Yeah.”
“Good.” John grins. “ Then I suppose I can forgive him for sleeping in this morning, so long as it doesn’t become a habit.” He casts his glance across the table.
“I’m a bad influence.” You say, spooning porridge into your mouth.
“Certainly worth the trouble, though.” Johnny says, wiggling his eyebrows at you. “Especially when you do that thing with your tongue-”
Johnny’s words are cut off with a pained yelp as Ghost kicks him under the table. “Don’t go spilling all her tricks.” He grumbles, eyeing the tables around you.
You think your face might be permanently warm at the thought of anyone nearby hearing the topic of your conversation. Of course they know, but hearing about it was something entirely different.
Kyle walks you back to the barracks after breakfast, your hand in his, fingers laced together. His thumb rubs the back of your hand absentmindedly, shoulders brushing as you walk. Neither of you say anything, but you don’t have to. Unlike Johnny, Kyle is happy to exist in silence. They’re so very different, despite both being betas.
Your brothers had often joked about betas being boring, and how glad they were that neither of your parents were betas. You’d disagree now, after spending some time around betas. They’re just as complex as alphas and omegas, in their own ways.
Boring was the last thing you’d describe Johnny as last night.
Kyle holds the door for you as you enter the barracks, following you down the hall. You stop in front of your door, your hand pausing on the knob as Kyle leans in close to you.
His chest presses against your back, breath fanning your ear as he speaks. “Can’t wait to find out about this trick you do with your tongue.”
Your face warms again, your heart thudding in your chest as you turn to look up at him, tongue darting out to wet your lips. “You could find out right now.”
Kyle’s lips lift in a smirk as he leans in closer, trapping you against the door. “I’d love to, but I don’t think the Captain would be quite so forgiving if I skipped out on this training.”
You stare up at him, lost in his big brown eyes. “Soon?”
He smirks, leaning down to kiss you. “Of course. Just say the word.”
He leaves you there with your heart thudding in your chest, your stomach churning in excitement. You’d be more than willing to go that extra step with Kyle right at this very moment, but the subtle ache between your thighs thanks to Johnny is a good reminder why you should wait. You want to enjoy your time with Kyle.
You know it will be worth the wait.
“How have you been?”
You shrug, sinking back into the plush chair. It’s warm in the office, a stark contrast to the cold downpour outside. “Fine.” You answer, running your hands over your jeans. “Tired.”
“Oh?” Dr. Keller raises an eyebrow at you. “Have you not been sleeping well?”
“I’m...having a hard time falling asleep.” You say. It’s not entirely a lie, but it’s not the whole truth.
“Why do you think that is?” She asks, writing something down.
Your palms begin to sweat. You hadn’t planned on going into too much detail about this with her, but you knew she’d likely notice and remark on your tired appearance. “Been thinking too much.”
“About what?” She probes, staring at you.
You know you don’t have to tell her anything. What you share is up to you. Yet, you can feel the words bubbling up, threatening to spill over before you can stop them. “My family.” You say, releasing some steam from the boiling pot inside you. Tears burn your eyes, threatening to fall as you continue. “Especially my mom. I miss her a lot sometimes.”
“You had a close bond with her.” Dr. Keller says. It’s not a question.
You nod. “The closest out of all of my siblings.” You snuffle, wiping the tear trailing down your cheek. “Makes sense why.”
“Sometimes we have traits or behaviors that show before we present that hint at our possible status. Having a stronger bond with one parent over another, especially in mixed status packs, can signal what one might present as.” Dr. Keller says. “Were you the first omega to present in your pack?”
You nod. “Yeah. My older brothers were alphas, and I don’t know about my younger siblings.”
“That could all contribute to a strong bond with your mother.” Dr. Keller leans back in her seat. “I’m assuming you haven’t had any contact with them since the institute.”
“Not since I was taken from home. The institute didn’t support keeping those connections with previous packs and...I don’t think they would have reached out anyway.” You say, picking at the fabric of your pants.
“What makes you say that?” Dr. Keller asks.
You pause, not sure you want to open that bag of worms. If anyone is safe enough to do it with, you know it’s going to be Dr. Keller. She won’t judge you, she won’t think you weak or silly for having such thoughts, such fears. She doesn’t care how broken you are. You’re not part of her pack. She’s an outsider, a doctor above all.
“Well, they did send me to the institute, didn’t they?” You finally say.
Dr. Keller hums, staring at you for a moment before she drops her gaze to her notebook, writing something down. “I suppose you have a point there. Hypothetically, if you were given the chance to, would you want to talk to them again? It’s not uncommon for omegas to seek out their previous packs and families after they leave the institute.”
Your stomach twists at her question. Even if it is only hypothetical, you had existed for years in the institute thinking you’d never get to see or hear from your family again. They were behind you, lost to you. They wouldn’t accept your attempts to reach out to them, even if you knew where they were. Even after leaving the institute, you knew the chances of seeing them again or even just hearing from them was almost none. You have a new pack now, your old one doesn’t matter.
That’s just the life of an omega.
Would you want to? In this hypothetical world where this question exists as a potential option, would they even answer if you called? Would they accept an invitation to see you again, if they were given the chance? Could your father feel regret after all of these years for what he did to you?
“I...” You frown, tears pricking your eyes again. “I don’t know.”
“That’s okay.” Dr. Keller says. “It’s a complex situation. If you ever wanted to, though, I’m sure they could make it happen.”
Your gaze snaps to hers, the shock at her words clearly written on your face. Of course they probably could. It was their job to hunt down hard to find people, and with the CIA at their backs, you’re certain they could track down your family easily. Would they do it for you, if you asked? Would they allow you to have that connection with your old pack while still being part of theirs?
“Most people keep some form of contact with their family, even after they move on to their own pack.” Dr. Keller says. “It’s not unusual, even among omegas. Just something to think about.”
“Do you still talk to your family?” You ask her, partly out of curiosity.
“I do.” She smiles. “I talk to my parents pretty regularly, and my older brother occasionally. He’s involved in this world too. He was in the Army originally, but now he does whatever it is he does.”
You’re surprised by her answer. Not so much that she still talks to her family, but that she’s familiar with this world. It makes sense, how easily she existed in it, beyond just being a professional. “Do you think it had something to do with you being chosen for this position?” You ask.
“Most likely.” She grins. “Laswell probably wanted someone who is at least a little familiar with this world, but also someone she knew would work well with you.”
“I think she made the right choice.” You say. It’s the truth. You like Dr. Keller. You trust her. You’ve grown comfortable in her presence and you look forward to your appointments with her. It almost makes you feel bad for withholding the truth from her.
“Good. I think so too.” She says. “So, did anything exciting happen this week?”
You chew on your lip nervously, your hands disappearing into your sleeves as your face warms a bit. “Johnny and I...had our first time together.”
“Oh?” Her eyebrows raise. “And that’s something you wanted?”
You nod. “Yeah. I’d like to get close to all of them, well, as close as Ghost will let me get.” You bite your lip again. “Ghost...gave me some pointers on how to handle Johnny. It worked. He...let me take control. I liked it.”
“Nothing wrong with that.” Dr. Keller says. “I think it’s great that you’ve discovered this about yourself. I know omegas are so used to being controlled in society. I think it’s great that you’ve found a place where perhaps you can take a little control back.”
She’s not wrong. Your entire life has been dictated for you, controlled by someone else. The baton of control was just continually passed from your father, to the institute, to the CIA, and now to John. Though John has granted you the most freedom of everyone that’s held control over you, there’s still requirements for obedience and submission to him. You’ll never be your own person. That’s just the way society works, and you’ve come to accept that.
Yet, you’ve never felt quite so powerful as you did in bed with Johnny, when you’d gripped him by the mohawk like Ghost had instructed you to. When you saw the change in his eyes as you took over, controlling him, telling him what to do. You liked it, exerting control over someone else for a change. He just let you do it. It still sends a thrill down your spine at the thought of the possibilities, the things you can do now that you’ve discovered this part of yourself. You’d never show it in public, but behind closed doors...
The book was right. Perhaps omegas can be powerful.
“What are we doing?” You ask, staring up at John as he straps a tactical vest onto your body.
“We’re doing an exercise, and you’re going to help us.” He answers, double checking the vest before putting a helmet on your head. “Think of it as hide and seek mixed with tag.” He finishes strapping the helmet to your head, taking a step back. “How does it feel?”
“Heavy.” You feel weighed down with the vest and the helmet.
“You’ll get used to it.” He says with a smile, guiding you towards the door of the warehouse.
It’s dark inside, nearly pitch black except for the light coming in from the open door. There’s fake walls set up in front of you, with space just in the middle like a sort of hallway that disappears into the darkness.
“Your job is to get from this side of the warehouse, to the other without getting caught.” John says. “No weapons, just you trying to evade us and get to the other side while we try and catch you,” John lowers the goggles on the top of the helmet, the world coming alive in shades of green around you. “And night vision goggles. Be smart about it. Understood?”
You nod, looking around with the goggles, trying to adapt to using them. “Yes, sir.”
“Good. You have a thirty second head start. Use it wisely.”
He leaves the warehouse, closing the door behind him. You’re left in complete darkness, with no sound but a fan running somewhere, probably to dampen any sounds that might echo. You stand there for a moment, trying not to breathe too heavily, as it might echo in the warehouse. You stare at the door behind you for a second before you begin to move forward, the adrenaline starting to pump. You have to get to the other side of the warehouse before they catch you. Are they working together or individually? What kind of strategy will they use? What strategy will you use?
You begin to pick up speed, running until you reach the end of the first hallway. It splits off in both directions, and you hesitate for a moment. Be smart about it. You don’t have many advantages in this situation. They’ve done this before, both in training and probably in the field as well. They’re highly skilled soldiers, trained to hunt down people in all sorts of environments, sometimes with nothing more than their scent.
Scent.
Of course.
You take off down the right hallway, following it as it twists and turns like a maze. A giant maze. There’s so many hallways, so many places to run, but not many to hide. That’s not the point, though. You have to get to the other side of the warehouse before they do. You have to track your way through this maze without getting caught by four special operations soldiers.
Simple enough.
You pause at a corner, undoing your vest so you can slip your sweatshirt off. You’re just putting your vest back on when the door opens, bathing the ceiling with light for a moment. It’s started. They’re inside. You can’t hear anything over the hum of the fan, and that’s almost more terrifying to you than if you had been able to hear them. The adrenaline is pumping now as you toss your sweatshirt in the corner before quickly backtracking and heading a different direction.
You try to keep your breathing quiet as you weave through the maze, doubling back and touching the walls every so often to try and leave your scent behind and confuse them. You take deep breaths through your nose as you go, trying to catch any whiff of them, any sign that you might have crossed their path or be getting close to them. They’ll reach the same area of the maze as you’re in eventually, sooner rather than later. You need to start pressing forward. You’re not just evading them, you have to reach the other side before they catch you.
You slip around a corner, pressing up against the wall as something moves behind you. You hold your breath, quiet footsteps passing by your position. Your hands are shaking from the adrenaline, the instinctual fear of being hunted rising in you. You take a couple of quiet deep breaths, slipping your shoes off to grab your socks before slipping them back on. You peek around the corner, finding nothing.
You toss one of your socks in the corner before doubling back, pausing as you cross one of their scents. Johnny. You recognize the citrusy tang in the air. Christ, you’ve never heard him be that quiet before. You continue on, your heart racing in your chest as you carefully weave around corners, slipping through hallways. They’re close to you now. They could be around any corner.
You pause as you cross the scent of leather and musk, something prickling in the back of your mind. It’s a fresh scent. You pause for a moment, looking in the direction he went before slipping around the corner. You still have your other sock clutched in your hand, knuckles white as you grip it tightly.
You should be nearing the end. The warehouse isn’t that big, even with all the doubling back and dodging you’ve been doing. You toss your other sock in a corner haphazardly as you decide to stop doubling back and go for the exit. You have to try and get ahead of them, as well as find your way through the maze to the exit door.
Simple enough.
Except, you have no idea which direction the exit is, or which direction you’re heading. You could be going backwards for all you know. You weave through the halls, around the corners, focusing on finding the end of the maze.
In your concentration you fail to notice the scent, weaving through the halls mindlessly as you attempt to reach the end of the maze. You pay for it as the sound of boots on the concrete floor rushes up behind you. You let out a startled shriek of surprise as your feet leave the floor, your body ragdolling over someone’s shoulder.
“Got her!” He yells out, weaving around a couple corners before light floods the warehouse, making you wince.
Your squint as your feet hit the ground again, the night vision goggles lifted from your face. Your nose crinkles as you stare up at Kyle’s smug face, his lips pulled up in a smirk.
“No fair.” You pout. “I was so close!”
“You were, but you got sloppy at the end there.” He says, undoing the strap of your helmet to help you take it off. You’re sweaty underneath it, hair sticking to your forehead. You’re glad you ditched your sweatshirt now.
“Not bad.” John says, exiting the warehouse, Ghost and Johnny following. “Nice strategy.” He says, tossing your sweatshirt to you.
You shrug, hugging it to your chest. “Had to think fast with what I had on hand.”
“Running around with no socks on too.” Ghost says, holding up your socks.
“Left you a little present. You can keep them if you want.” You smirk.
“Don’t want your nasty socks.” He grumbles, tossing them to you.
“That was fun.” You say, grinning up at them. “Like being hunted.” You don’t miss the quiet rumble in John’s chest at your words, his eyes darkening just a bit. “Can someone help me out of this now though,” You say, reaching for the velcro straps on the vest. “It’s squishing my boobs.”
The TV is playing some show, but you're not really paying attention. You haven't been, not for a while now. Your adrenaline had still been pumping a bit after your participation in the exercise earlier, putting you on edge the rest of the day. It had been a bit thrilling, the idea of being hunted like that. You can understand now how omegas enjoy being hunted, beyond just the inevitable end.
The thought of that being how the exercise ended, all four of them at once, out where anyone could see you...your skin begins to prickle as heat blossoms in your veins. Kyle would get to take you first because he won, he caught you so easily. Would John go second, or would he allow the other members of his pack to go first? Ghost would be rough, taking you from behind, hands bruising on your hips. Your teeth sink into your lip as you imagine him over you, a position you often found yourself in during your training with him. He's just so big, so strong. They all are.
You won't be able to control yourself during training if you keep going down that thought path.
John would be gentle, piecing you back together after the others have had their way with you. He'd take care of you, like a good alpha, dragging one more orgasm out of you after you think you can't anymore.
You let out a shaky breath, trying to calm your scent. You're stinking up the rec room with your fantasies. You turn your head to look at the TV, trying to focus on what's happening on the screen in an effort to distract yourself.
It doesn't work, the subtle dampness between your thighs ever present on your mind. You have half a mind to get up and seek out Kyle, but like a miracle he appears in the doorway of the rec room. You see his nostrils flare, the lift of his shoulders as he inhales. He can smell your arousal, the spike in the sweetness of your scent. You have no doubt about that. He doesn't say anything, though, instead he approaches the couch silently, kneeling at the end.
He settles himself on top of you, resting his head on your chest. He lets out a breath as he settles, keeping some of his weight off of you, but he's still pressed against you like a weighted blanket. You fight the urge to shift beneath him, to press your hips up against him, to seek any ounce of relief for the warmth between your thighs.
You're not sure he's watching the TV either as he lays there, relaxed over you. Your fingers trail patterns across his back, gliding over his soft shirt. He's in blue today, one of your favorite colors on him. He looks good in anything, the perks of being pretty, but blue is one of your favorite colors on him.
It's silent between you for a while, Kyle relaxed above you while you fight to relax beneath him. If he’s affected at all by your scent, he hides it well. You have half a mind to ask him to take pity on you, to slip his hand beneath your sweatpants and ease the ache between your thighs. He had said whenever you wanted it. All you have to do is ask.
You shift slightly beneath him, lifting your hand to his head. “Kyle?” You ask, gently trailing your fingers over his scalp. He'd gotten his hair buzzed recently, the curly strands shorter than normal.
He hums in response, the sound rumbling through your body from where his head rests on your chest. When you don't reply right away he lifts his head, blinking up at you with those big brown eyes.
“Kiss me?” You ask.
Your heart starts to race as he pulls himself closer to you, his body dragging against yours. His eyes dart to your lips before they look back into yours for a moment. He leans down, slipping his arms underneath your back as he closes the gap between you. His lips are soft against yours, his kisses gentle and controlled as he holds you like you might break in his grasp.
“Kyle?” You murmur against his lips, your arms wrapping around his neck.
He hums again in response, pulling away just slightly to stare down at you.
“‘M not gonna break.” You say, dragging your nails over his scalp again. “Kiss me like you mean it.”
His lips twitch in a smirk before he leans down, pressing his lips hard against yours. It’s a searing kiss that nearly steals your breath away. His tongue prods at your lips, and you part them to allow him in. He tastes like the tea he had been drinking after dinner, rich and earthy with a hint of sweetness from the sugar he added. You moan softly into his mouth as his tongue flicks against your own, your thighs squeezing around his waist at the thought of that tongue between your legs.
He smirks against your lips as if he knows exactly what you’re thinking, his body shifting over yours so he can press one of his thighs between your legs. You move instinctively, your hips grinding against his thigh. Finally you're getting some friction, some relief from the ache.
“Fuck.” He breathes, pulling you tighter against his chest. “That’s it.” He groans, pressing his thigh harder against your grinding hips. “Gonna cum on my thigh, just like that?” He nips at your jaw, trailing kisses down the line towards your neck. “Haven’t even touched you yet.”
You try to muffle your moans as you continue to grind against his thigh, the friction on your clit pushing you closer and closer to the edge. “Kyle?” You gasp out, gripping the back of his shirt. “Gonna fuck me on the rec room couch?”
He lifts his head from your neck, staring down at you for a moment. “Fuck, you’re right. Your room or mine?”
“Yours.” You say, hanging on for dear life as he scoops you up off the couch, wrapping your legs around his waist.
He walks you to his room, carrying you the entire way. He kicks the door shut, beelining for his bed. He drops you down on the mattress, your body bouncing as he hastily peels his shirt off, revealing an expanse of smooth skin marked here and there by scars. You immediately reach out, trailing your fingers over his skin. It’s just as soft as it looks, your fingers trailing the lines of his muscles.
His hand flattens over yours as it reaches his chest, pressing it into his warm skin as he leans down, kissing you again. His hands slip under your thighs, lifting you and switching your positions so he’s seated on the bed, and you’re in his lap.
“Anyone ever tell you how beautiful you are?” He says, looking up at you.
“I think it’s been mentioned before.” You say with a shrug, smiling down at him.
“It’s the truth.” He says, slipping his hands under your shirt. “Deserve to hear it all the time.”
“Bunch of handsome men complimenting me constantly?” You say, lifting your arms over your head so he can remove your shirt. “Can’t complain about that.”
“Luckiest men in the world.” He says, smoothing his hands across your back as he presses his face into your throat. “Pretty little omega.”
You shiver as his teeth nip at your skin, his thumbs brushing the undersides of your breasts. You arch against his chest, pressing yourself closer. There’s a bulge in his pants, a shiver of pride running through you at the thought that you did that to him. You elicited such a reaction from him.
“I never properly thanked you.” You say, wrapping your arms around his neck.
“For what?” He asks, staring up at you curiously.
“For taking such good care of me during my heat. Couldn’t have been easy, seeing me like that, knowing you couldn’t even touch me.” You grind your hips against his, his teeth sinking into his lip as you grind against his bulge. “Tell me, how many times did you touch yourself while thinking about me?”
“Too many to count, love.” He groans, leaning his forehead against yours. “Sounded so sweet, getting ruined by our alpha.”
“Been so patient, waiting for this.” You gasp, still rocking in his lap, the wetness between your thighs intensifying from the friction. “Tell me how you want me.”
“Sit on my face.” He growls, pushing you off his lap so he can lay down on the bed.
You shove your pants and underwear down your legs, fighting the urge to be bashful. Kyle has already seen you at your most vulnerable, been up close and personal with your most private parts. Yet, it feels different like this. More intimate, and less of a necessity.
You take his hand as he offers it, letting him guide you to kneel over his face. You grip the headboard as you hover over him, his hands settling on your hips.
“Wait-” You say, before he can pull you down onto his face. “What if I suffocate you?”
“Then I’ll die a happy man.” He says, tugging you down onto his mouth.
You let out a gasp as his tongue drags through your folds, already soaked from his teasing. His tongue flicks across your clit, eliciting a quiet moan from your lips. Your hips jerk when his mouth closes around your clit, suckling at it with a lewd smack of his lips.
“Fuck!” You gasp, grinding your hips against his face as he continues to tease your clit, drawing patterns on it with his tongue.
You’re close already, your legs trembling around his head. He holds you steady, keeping you still above him as he wraps his lips around your clit, sucking on it harshly. Your knees attempt to squeeze around his head as you cum, soaking his face with a cry. He continues to lap at your folds, licking up every last bit of your release before he finally lets you move off his face.
You drop to the side, staring down at him as you try to catch your breath. He licks his lips, his face shiny with your juices. He reaches a hand over, tangling his fingers in your hair as he pulls your face down to his, kissing you. You moan at the taste of yourself on his tongue and lips, already starting to get wet again.
Kyle wraps his arms around you, flipping you onto your back under him. He hovers over you, the bulge in his pants very visible, even from this position.
“Sweet little omega.” He says, nipping at your lips. “So fucking perfect.”
“Kyle,” You gasp, pulling him down into a kiss. “Need you.”
“I got you.” He soothes you, pressing another kiss to your lips before he sits back on his knees between your legs, staring down at you. He drags his fingers through your folds, still just as slick as they had been before your orgasm. “So fucking wet.” He groans, hastily undoing his belt and pants, kicking them off the end of the bed.
You stare at him in awe, his cock just as beautiful as he is. Long and thick, curved just slightly. You can’t help but ogle him as he wraps a hand around the base, squeezing it. He’s hard, raging hard, the tip leaking precum already. He really has been so patient, waiting for this. You almost feel bad making him wait so long, but he had agreed to be patient, if only to keep Johnny from making everyone’s lives miserable with his pouting if he didn’t get to go first.
It’s only fair that you let Johnny go first too, considering Kyle will likely be the one you spend the most time with. It’s only natural, thanks to your bond with John. Kyle’s your beta, just as much as John is your alpha. You’d like Johnny to be your beta too, but you know without that bond with Ghost, it’ll never feel quite the same as it does with Kyle. Regardless, you’ll continue to treat Johnny as if he was your beta.
“What’s going on in that head of yours?” Kyle asks, watching you as you get lost in thought.
You truly do it at the worst possible times.
You lift your gaze to his, staring into those big brown eyes. “Just waiting on you to hurry up and fuck me.”
You let out a yelp as Kyle’s hand smacks your inner thigh, the sound cracking through the room.
“Don’t get cheeky now.” He warns, rubbing the spot on your skin that’s quickly turning warm from his smack. “Just making sure you’re alright.”
“Fine.” You say, spreading your legs further for him. “Be better if you finally fucked me.”
Your laugh is broken by a moan as he drags his head through your folds, his hand falling to grip your waist.
“That needy for me, huh?” He asks, teasingly pressing the tip of his cock into you before pulling back.
“Just worried you might not make it since you’ve waited so long.” You gasp, trying to move your hips to take him deeper into you, but he pins you with the hand on your hip.
“Careful what you wish for.” He says, the warning clear in his tone. You handled Johnny just fine, you can certainly handle Kyle.
You hope.
He finally takes pity on you, sinking his cock deeper into you. You moan at the stretch, flopping back on the bed as you try to relax around him. He rolls his hips in short thrusts, sinking deeper and deeper as you open up to him. You reach for him as he sinks even further into you, his body folding over yours. You wrap your arms around his neck, staring up at him as he seats himself completely inside you, hips pressed flush against yours.
“Hi.” You breathe, getting lost in his soft gaze.
“Hi, love.” He grins down at you, fingers brushing your cheeks as he leans on his elbows above you. “Doing alright?”
You nod, squeezing around him. “Yeah. Feels good.”
“Good.” He says, leaning down to kiss you. “Been waiting so long for this. Feels better than I imagined.”
You let out a quiet whine, clenching around him again. The thought of him imagining this, trying to picture what you’d look like, what you’d feel like while he waited patiently for his turn has your body burning hot. You shift your hips below him, causing him to move inside you.
“Kyle?” You breathe, shifting again. “Please move.”
“I got you, love.” He smiles down at you, pulling his hips back before slowly pressing forward again.
Your head falls back as he moves, keeping his pace slow and languid. Heat burns through your veins, your very nerve endings alive as he slowly rolls his hips into you. Something thrums in the back of your mind, the mark on your shoulder almost tingling as you stare up at him, your fingers trailing over the mark on his shoulder, a mirror of the one on your own. A shudder runs through him as your fingers brush the scar, his lips parting in a low groan. You clench around him at the sight of such unbridled pleasure on his face, pulling him closer against your body.
He drags your pleasure out as he makes love to you, slow and passionate and deliberate with every movement. You know you won’t last much longer, the sensations beginning to overwhelm you.
“I’m close.” You breathe into Kyle’s ear, pressing kisses across his neck. “Don’t stop.”
“Gonna cum for me?” He groans, keeping his thrusts steady. “Gonna let me see that beautiful face as you come undone for me?”
Your back arches as you cum, pushed over the edge by his words. Your nails bite into his shoulders, but he offers no complaint as he continues to roll his hips into yours, working you through your orgasm as he chases his own. His pace picks up slightly as he gets closer and closer to the edge, your eyes on his face, wanting to watch him now.
“Your turn.” You breathe, still trying to catch your breath from your orgasm as you clench around him.
His head tilts back, lips parted in a deep moan as his hips jerk. His cock twitches inside you, his thrusts getting sloppy as he cums. You trail your hands over his back, sinking your teeth into your lip as you watch his face morph into complete bliss. You’ve never seen anything quite so beautiful.
He collapses on top of you, just managing to keep his weight off of you thanks to his elbows planted on the bed beside your head. You continue to rub his back, fingers tracing the smooth, sweat slicked skin, only pausing to trace the scars that you find. Kyle presses soft kisses to your face, slowly trailing lower across your jaw and neck. He presses a kiss to your mark, a shudder running through you. He lets out a groan as you clench around him, shifting so he’s face to face with you again.
“Give me a minute.” He says, slipping out of you as he presses a kiss to your lips.
“Tired already?” You ask cheekily.
“No,” He says, kissing you again before slowly sliding down your body. “Just need a minute to catch my breath. Besides,” He settles between your thighs, pressing them open so he’s face to face with your pussy. “I’ve got a mess to clean up.”
You stand outside the door of John’s office, brows pulled into a frown. You have a feeling you already know what he’s going to say, yet your mind keeps reeling, coming up with the most fantastical ideas as to why you were summoned to his office in the middle of the day. It’s weird that he’s in his office in the middle of the day. Usually they’d be off training, but he’d pulled them all into a meeting this morning after breakfast, one that had gone into your usual lunch time, and then they hadn’t gone to train after you finally got to eat.
“Come in.”
Your hand pauses on the handle as you hesitate, almost as if you could prevent what’s going to happen by just not going in. It’s a ridiculous thought. Avoiding this will only likely get you into trouble.
You step into the office, the air inside different from any of the other times you’ve been in his office. John’s face looks grim and focused behind his desk, and it’s not hard to tell you’re not facing John right now, you’re facing Captain Price.
You take the seat across from him at his desk when he motions to it, trying to fight the tears threatening to brim in your eyes as you stare at him. You won’t cry. You knew this was going to happen eventually. You knew going in what was going to inevitably happen. You had been well prepared for this part of your new reality, yet you don’t want to acknowledge it now that you’re staring it in the face.
“I know you’ve likely already figured out what’s going on.” He says, his voice gruff and deeper than normal.
You can see it in his face. He’s fighting his own battle with having to tell you. You hadn’t expected it, to see him struggle with it. He knew it as well as you did. He knew it better than you did, and yet, you can see the turmoil behind that focused gaze.
He lets out a sigh as he continues, hands closing into fists on his desk, his tone almost apologetic. The words sting despite the fact you had known they were coming, despite the fact you had expected them when you walked into the office. “This morning we had a debrief for a new assignment. We’ll be leaving tonight. All four of us.”
NEXT ->
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#call of duty#call of duty fic#tf 141 x reader#task force 141 x reader#x reader#Kyle gaz Garrick x reader#gaz x reader#John price x reader#captain price x reader#Johnny soap mactavish x reader#soap x reader#Simon Riley x reader#Simon ghost riley x reader#a/b/o#alpha/beta/Omega dynamics#omegaverse
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i love soft ale 🥹 potential request if it sparks your interest: very early days of dating alexia and reader assumes she’s not a cuddly type so tries to give her space. realises alexia is in fact very much a cuddly type who’s asking to be lil spoon. reader teasing her cos how tf is the stoic woman i met a couple weeks ago the same one now making happy noises because i’m scratching her back??? 🤨
little spoon ─ alexia putellas x reader
in which: alexia needs a cuddle after a long day. she just doesn't know how to approach it
warnings: none
wc: 1.5k
a/n: been a minute since i published something! i've been very busy with my christmas series, but i got this request an hour or two ago and couldn't resist lol. hope you enjoy! (not proofread, sorry for any mistakes)
Alexia was many things. Sweet, thoughtful, caring, affectionate, considerate, dating the Spaniard was more perfect than you’d ever imagine it would be. It was still early days, you two had only been exclusive for a couple weeks, but you felt good with her. It felt right. Like you belonged together.
Every night, when Alexia finished rewatching footage or studying game plans, and you finished work for your marketing job, you’d find yourself together on the couch. Talking about anything and everything, munching on a meal either her or you cooked, nursing a glass of wine as the night went on. It usually ended in watching a movie or an episode from a show you were following together, a little routine you’d grown to love.
There was one thing, though, something that you found yourself feeling a little apprehensive about. Alexia wasn’t a cuddler. You loved nothing more than the prospect of cuddling up against your brunette lover after a long day of missing her at work. Alexia, on the other hand, not so much. Always an arm’s length between the two of you on the couch, never snuggled up in bed. She wasn’t very fond of cuddling close to one another. Or so you thought.
It wasn’t until one particular Thursday night, that you realised you were very wrong. Alexia came home late. A double training session, two tactical meetings and some media bits here and there led to a very long day, only arriving home a little past 9 in the evening. She dreaded days like these, especially since she knew she had a warm body waiting for het at home.
You were sat on the couch, immersed in the final couple chapters of your book, when you heard a set of keys jiggle outside the front door of your apartment. You glanced at the clock on your phone and frowned, knowing your girlfriend would probably not be in the best mood following the long day she had. You closed your book and left it on the coffee table, making your way over to the front door.
You noticed how slagged her shoulders were, barely able to carry the weight of the day anymore. She toed off her shoes and took off her jacket in complete silence before turning towards you and engulfing you in a tight hug. “Amor,” she breathed against your shoulder. “I’m here, baby,” you reassured your girlfriend, rubbing soothing patterns across her back.
You stayed like that for a while, only pulling away after a couple of minutes as you heard Alexia’s belly growl. “There’s a plate in the microwave for you. I made your favourite pasta. I figured you could use some comfort food after the day you had.” Alexia wouldn’t admit it, but you swear you saw some tears welling up in the Spaniard’s eyes. “Gracias, amor. I love you.” You retreated back to the couch after a couple more lingering kisses, soon joined by your girlfriend with a plate of pasta perched on her lap. Again, though, a couple feet away from you. You decided not to think much of it and put on a movie you’d started watching the other day, before you got interrupted by a surprise visit from Alba.
Alexia finished her portion of pasta in record time and stood up to put her dishes away in the dishwasher, the Spanish captain forever a clean freak. It had its perks, sure, but you weren’t exactly very fond of the scolding you’d get every time you left your dishes in the sink to clean up the next day.
She sat back down next to you with a deep sigh, feeling the weight of the long day slowly ebbing away the longer she was in your presence. “How was your day, bebé?” Alexia mustered up a small smile and turned her body towards you, her elbow resting on the back of the sofa, supporting her head. “Hmm, fine. Lots of meetings, a couple new projects, nothing out of the ordinary.” Your girlfriend hummed, trying her best to seem interested, but talking about your work wasn’t really high on her list of things to do right now.
In reality, she just wanted to bury herself in your arms and let the remnants of the long day wash away in your embrace. But she didn’t know how to. You’d never really… cuddled. She assumed it just wasn’t your thing, because you had never initiated it. Not on the couch, not in bed. She didn’t want to intrude, or make you uncomfortable, so she would usually steer clear. Today, though, she needed it.
Alexia shuffled a little closer to you and rest her hand on one of your outstretched legs, softly tracing her fingers up and down your bare thigh. You softly hummed at the sensation, her touch slightly ticklish. A couple moments passed and she shifted again, now nudging your legs apart a little and positioning herself in between them, but not facing you. You tried to catch her gaze, wondering what it was that she wanted, but she avoided any eye contact.
You didn’t hear her the first time, causing her to speak up a little louder. “Amor,” Alexia breathed, in a voice that you couldn’t describe any different than whiny. “Yes, baby?” You raised your eyebrows and met Alexia’s gaze, frowning slightly as you noticed the troubled expression on her face. “What’s up, Ale? You wanna talk about your day?” The brunette shook her head rapidly, biting her lip before she spoke up. “Can I lay with you?”
The question surprised you. Of all the things that you thought Alexia would want or need after a long day, you didn’t think it would be that. Alexia had never asked for a cuddle. She asked for hugs, sure, but never to lay close to you. You quickly agreed, wanting nothing more than to hold your girlfriend close. “Of course, baby. Come here.” You shuffled a bit further up the couch and nudged your legs further apart, leaving her space to crawl into – but she didn’t.
“Ale? All good?” The Spaniard looked up at you and you tried to read her gaze. “Can I be… how you say, the spoon?” You withheld a chuckle at her accent, forever endeared with the brunette whenever she tried to speak English. “You want to be the little spoon?” You asked, wanting to make sure that’s what she meant. It earned you a nod and a small smile, a sight you swear you’d never grow old of.
“Of course. Come here.” You shifted on the couch so your back was now facing the back of the couch, leaving some space for Alexia in front of you. She wasted no time in curling up against you, burying her face in your neck as she fished your shirt in her hands.
You didn’t quite know what to do. Alexia had never been like this with you. You weren’t complaining, not at all, you’d probably never felt happier in the past couple weeks of dating the footballer than now. Alexia exhaled deeply, nuzzling her face deeper in the crook of your neck as she settled. “Comfortable?” She hummed, pressing a soft kiss against the exposed skin where her head rested.
You shuffled and got comfortable, reaching a hand behind your girlfriend’s body and softly scratching her back underneath her shirt. Alexia nuzzled impossibly closer and you held her tight, tracing your nails up and down her back as the weight of the day slowly ebbed away.
You scratched her back until you thought she’d fallen asleep, her breathing evening out a bit, but you were very wrong. Your attempt at retreating your hand from underneath her shirt was met with an unsatisfied grumble and a pinch to your side, to which you chuckled. “Needy, are we?” Alexia scoffed, but it held no malice as you felt her lips forming a grin against the skin of your neck.
You once again started scratching your nails up and down her back. “Mhm, feels good,” Alexia mumbled against your neck. You pressed a tender kiss against her crown. You soaked up the warmth from Alexia’s body pressed so close to yours, your figures moulding together like you were made for each other.
You spent the rest of your evening cuddled up on the couch, eventually moving to the bed where the Spaniard once again curled up against you, this time her head resting on your chest and her leg swung across your midsection.
“Wouldn’t have taken you for a cuddler, Alexia,” you teased, after giving her a kiss good night. “Shut up. I thought you didn’t like it. We have to make up for lost time.” You chuckled and pressed a soft kiss against her crown, closing your eyes as you soaked in the warmth from your lover. “There’s nowhere I’d rather be.”
#woso#woso community#woso imagine#alexia putellas#alexia putellas x reader#barcelona femini#fcb femení#fcb femeni#spain wnt
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Hi hope you‘re doing well!!! I wanted to ask if you could write a scenario with Gojo and fem reader where she‘s lying on the bed reading and he wants her attention and she just grabs him and let‘s him cuddle her while she‘s reading I CAN‘T STOP THINKING ABT THIS
used to it — gojo satoru x gn!reader
despite all your complains, huffs, and eye rolls, you never truly found satoru’s affection bothersome. in fact, you found it very endearing and cute how he can be so openly infatuated with you.
in the beginning, you thought that perhaps his theatrics were blown out of proportion. that while yes he did want your attention, he surely didn’t want it that much.
but you were wrong, so very wrong.
you remember that one time you had left early to get some groceries, leaving satoru in the bed alone. in your defense, you were going as quickly as you could.
“I gotta go back before satoru realizes I am not in bed!”
you underestimated him. because the very moment he woke up, he looked around for you, under the bed, in the cupboards, and even in the chimney. his brows furrowed when there was no sign of you.
he whispered, eyes going through the room once again, but to no avail, “yn?”
his lips quickly formed into a pout and he whined—loudly, “y/n?!”
you instantly got a call from one very sad gojo satoru who was whining and complaining about how you left him all alone to fend for himself for hours and hours on end. you had checked the time right after that.
it had been 20 minutes.
anyways, you’re not new to gojo’s massive need for love and affection. you can also proudly say that you learned how to satiate him while not troubling yourself.
let’s take today as an example.
the new volume of your favorite book had finally dropped. so you sent a text to satoru telling him that you would be busy for tonight.
of course, that is unacceptable in his book so he told you that he would go to your house after he was done with his mission.
you were able to finish a couple of chapters before he finally burst through the door, exclaiming, “the world’s most eligible bachelor is here!”
you send a small smile his way and swiftly continue reading your book. he pouts, sulky about the lack of attention, “babe?”
“mhm?”
getting a mic out from god knows where, he clears his throat and delivers the best performance of his life, “I want your love and I want your revenge—“
silently, you pull him into your arms.
satoru tends to forget how strong you’re—especially because of all the things you go through as a sorcerer—,but he happily buries his face in the crook of your neck with a smile plastered on his pretty face, “you don’t want me to serenade you?”
you chuckle, “not really, and with bad romance out of everything?”
he gasps, offended, “I will have you know that lady gaga is an absolute icon!”
with a roll of your eyes, you continue silently reading while resting the book on his back—you doubt it weights anything to him though.
a few beats pass before satoru gazes up at your face, pressing a kiss to your cheek, “how was your day, pretty?”
“good,” you murmur then you kiss the top of his head and push it back to your chest. he welcomes it before he slightly turns his head and mumbles, “okay, so I should shut up?”
a giggle escapes your lips as you nod and start carding your fingers through his hair. he hums, murmuring a small ‘i love you’, before falling silent once again.
you assume that he is asleep. a soft sigh leaves your lips as you hug him a little tighter and gladly continue reading your book.
a grin breaks out on your face; you’re finally getting to the good part!
you quickly turn the page and your eyes dart to the beginning of the page in unbelievable speed. a gasp almost escapes your lips as you realize that the character has—
“y/n, how many chickens would it take to be able to kill a lion?”
the character has had enough of the husband and is about to murder him in his sleep.
“I mean like have you ever thought about—wait, babe, I am sorry, don’t hurt me—“
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do not copy or plagiarize or you will be reported
#gojo satoru x reader#jjk x reader#gojou satoru x reader#gojo imagine#jjk x you#gojo x you#gojo x reader#jjk imagines#jjk gojo x you#gojo x y/n#jjk gojo x reader#gojo fluff#gojo satoru x you#gojo satoru x y/n#jjk gojo x y/n#gojo satoru imagine#gojo satoru fluff
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𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐬
Satoru Gojo
[Chapter 29] First Day of School
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Pairing: Satoru Gojo x f!Reader
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“Does this look okay?” Ren walks into your room with the cutest outfit imaginable. Today is the day: his first day of kindergarten. You’re nearly in tears every time you look at him, not being able to believe that your baby boy is ready to go to school. He’s so excited for it, and you don’t want to shatter it by crying
“You look so handsome, baby. Go show your daddy.” You tell him, knowing that Satoru is downstairs trying to make Ren’s bento box perfect. You need a moment to let yourself cry and compose yourself before you drop him off. He’s just a baby, why do you have to send him to school?
Ren nods in response, and walks out of your room to go to where his father is. You take a deep breath, trying to contain yourself. It’s his first day of school, you’re not sending him off to war. It’s just hard to accept that your child is growing up so fast.
The baby that you were just carrying in your arms is going to school. You have to gather yourself, you can’t be a mess in front of Ren who is already scared of what awaits him. Satoru is going to comfort him while you figure something out.
“Hey, buddy. Are you ready?” The biggest smile comes to Satoru’s lips as he sees his son walk towards him. Satoru tries to finish the special lunch that he’s been set on making for Ren, before his son gets to him.
“I am. Waiting for mommy.” Ren answers, and it tugs Satoru’s heart. For how much longer is Ren going to call you mommy? When will it just be mom? Satoru takes a deep breath, he knew that spending too much time with you meant that your sadness would become infectious.
“What do you want for breakfast? Cereal?” Satoru asks, and Ren nods in response. He doesn’t really care to have a more intricate breakfast, he’s not that hungry this early.
“Will school always be this early?” Ren questions, walking over to the informal dining table that’s in the kitchen. Satoru chuckles, knowing that it gets worse from here– At least kindergarten isn’t too bad.
“It’ll always be at the same time.” Satoru answers, and he sees the frown that appears on Ren’s face. That just ruined everything for the little boy, and Satoru can’t blame him. “But hey, if you cooperate I’ll let you sleep in on Saturday and Sunday.”
“Really?” A hopeful spark appears in Ren’s eyes, and Satoru almost feels bad. He’ll do whatever will work.
“Yes sir.” Satoru smirks. Ren loves the deal, therefore he’ll cooperate as much as he has to. Satoru has this whole parenting thing under wraps. He walks over to Ren, putting the bowl of cereal in front of Ren, “Eat up, honey. You have a long day ahead of you.”
“Okay, I’m ready!” You announce, walking into the kitchen to find Satoru and Ren sitting together. Tears well up in your eyes as you see the pair and you hold your breath,
“Actually, give me a minute.”
“Can you replay the song?” Ren asks, and Satoru wastes no time in starting the song over again and turning it up to max volume. Anything to drown out the sniffles that come from you. You’re almost at the school, you need to gather yourself. Ren can’t see you crying like this.
“Baby shark is not that sad for you to be reacting like this.” Satoru tries to joke, which only makes you sob. He’d love to join you in the crying, but someone has to be strong for Ren. “You must really hate the song.”
“Shut up.” You tell him in complete tears. He’s trying to cheer you up but nothing is working today. You have to soothe yourself. Your son is going to be fine.
“We’re almost at the school.” Satoru announces, and Ren looks outside the car excitedly. Satoru’s word of mouth worked, and the child is more than excited to go to school. Though Satoru’s announcement is more for you, his way of telling you to gather yourself.
“Replay the song!” Ren yells, and Satoru does as the child asks. Ren will be getting out of the car soon enough so Satoru doesn’t mind listening to the song a couple more times.
“He’s going to be fine.” Satoru tells you, knowing that Ren is too busy listening to his song to hear what Satoru has to say.
“He’s growing up too fast.” You say, and Satoru pouts. Bringing that up makes him want to cry too but he can’t. Satoru’s already missed so much, and he’s going to miss more. But it’s fine. Ren is going to be fine, and he’s excited to go to school.
“We’re here.” Satoru turns off the radio, handing you his handkerchief so you can clean your face. You have to control yourself for at least ten minutes, then you can cry all you want. Ren takes off his seatbelt before his face presses against the car window, looking at the surroundings.
“It’s big.” Ren comments which earns a chuckle from the both of you. Your house is almost as big, you have no idea why he’s shocked. You take one final deep breath before opening your car door. You can hold back the tears.
“Alright, let’s go. We’re going to be late.” You say, and Satoru fights back a smile. At least you’re putting up a strong fort.
You get Ren out of the car, and before you begin the walk to the entrance, you take a couple of photos of the child. You’re finally able to do it without crying, so you take as much as you can. Ren with a backpack nearly twice his size and a lunchbox as big as him. He’s a Gojo, he’ll be your height in no time.
“Were you crying?” Ren looks up at you, seeing how your eyes look puffy. The question makes you want to burst into tears again.
“Why would I be?” You furrow your brows, trying to play it off. That’s good enough to deter Ren from questioning it any further. Ren takes your hand, and you squeeze it. “Are you excited, baby? It’s a very big day.”
“I am.” Ren smiles at you, and you melt. He’s going to have so much fun and learn new things, you shouldn’t worry.
“Stop!” Satoru nearly yells when you’re at the entrance. You both look back at him, confused why he suddenly yells. “Let me take a picture of the two of you.”
“You don’t have to yell like a maniac next time you want a picture.” You tell him, getting ready for a picture with Ren as Satoru takes his phone out. You signal Ren to come closer, and once he’s close enough, you both smile at Satoru’s phone.
“And for the record, I didn’t yell like a maniac.” Satoru says after he takes enough pictures of the two of you. You think you’re done, but he hands the phone to you. He wants you to do the same for him and Ren, which you have no issue doing. You might be a little late but who cares? The first day of kindergarten isn’t that big of a deal.
“Alright you two, say cheese.” You can’t help but smile as you see your two boys share the same smile as they look at the camera. You hurry up, seeing that Ren is growing sick of taking photos. You don’t take as many pictures as Satoru did, but it’s good enough, he doesn’t need fifty variations of the same picture.
“Alright, let’s go.” You hand the phone back to Satoru, before you open the door to the school. You’ll admit, it’s nice knowing that you won’t be stuck within the halls this time around… You do feel slightly bad for your son, but he’ll for sure enjoy it the first years.
“Do you need help with your backpack, buddy?” Satoru asks, seeing how the end of the backpack hits the child’s calves.
“I can handle it!” Ren claims, immediately getting defensive. He’s in a space with kids his age, he has to look like a big boy. Satoru chuckles, claiming,
“I won’t take it from you, no need to answer like that.”
You begin to get nervous as you approach the classroom. Leaving your baby alone in a classroom full of kids with a woman that you barely know is nerve wracking to say the least. Satoru looks fine, you should be more than fine as well.
“This is the classroom.” Satoru announces when you nearly walk past it. The teacher waits outside with the door open and a warm welcoming smile on her face. This is it. Satoru takes over, telling his son, “Alright, Ren. Greet your teacher and go inside.”
“How about a goodbye first?” You say, glaring back at Satoru for sending off your child without even getting a proper farewell. Ren waves at the two of you before walking into his classroom as if you didn’t matter. You stick out your bottom lip as you look at Satoru, “He’s a big boy now.”
“Let’s get out of here before the waterworks begin.” Satoru throws his arm over your shoulder and tries to guide you outside, awkwardly waving at Ren’s teacher. He’d stick around and talk to her some more (though the emails and meet-the-teacher night should be more than enough), but he has to make sure that you don’t begin to cry outside of the classroom.
“He doesn’t even want to say goodbye to his mommy, what have we done?” You let out a cry, and Satoru tries his best to calm you down. Teachers are outside, waiting for their respective students, he doesn’t need them staring at you.
“How about I take you to breakfast?” Satoru asks, hoping that it’ll take your mind off crying. Truthfully, he might begin to cry too. “Heard there’s a good place around here, won’t you like to try it?”
“I’m not hungry.” You answer, your appetite completely gone from the lack of reaction from your son. Like father like son or whatever they say.
“A beautiful face like yours has to eat, c’mon.” Satoru insists, and you sigh. Your stomach growls, giving it away. You’re hungry and you can’t deny it, but you don’t want to eat. Satoru hears it, but he knows you won’t change your mind that easily. “Fine, but I’m still stopping to get something for myself.”
“Yeah, whatever. Take me to get breakfast.” You roll your eyes. His plan has succeeded, right now you’re not crying because Ren entered his classroom without giving you a hug.
“It’s a date.” He says, which earns a weird look from you. It makes him feel nervous, and he scratches the back of his neck before asking, “Is it a date?”
“It’s…” You begin but you stop yourself. You’re not sure. Do you want to give him that slight bit of hope that you can get back together?
You clear your throat before telling him, “I’ll decide after.”
#[changes]#gojo saturo#satoru gojo#gojou satoru x you#jjk satoru#gojou satoru x reader#jujutsu kaisen gojo#jjk gojo#gojo angst#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen x reader#gojo satoru#jujutsu gojo#gojo x reader#gojo fanfic
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TEST DRIVE.
#2
Changbin x reader. (s)
Chapters: #1 / #3
Synopsis: You're going on another test drive with your biker boyfriend, Changbin. (7k words)
Author's note: This is for the birthday boy, Changbin and to all the biker!Bin enthusiasts!
The sun isn't high in the sky yet but you're already on the road, riding on Changbin's bike as he spurs the engine and pushing it just a little closer to the limit.
You feel snug as you rest your chest on his back, he feels so warm even though he's only wearing a t-shirt and that's because you're wearing his jacket as usual.
To keep him warm, you give him belly rubs as you rest your head on his shoulder.
"Who's taking a girl out for a ride at 6 in the morning, huh?" You tease him.
Changbin pretends not to hear it and you nuzzle your head as close as possible to his neck even though the helmets are restricting you.
"I'm going back to sleep," you mutter.
He grabs your hand and shakes it, "No, don't sleep! Wake up!"
You hold him tighter and cling to his back with your arms around him, "I can sleep comfortably right here," you mumble.
He places his hand on yours and laces it with yours, "We'll be getting coffee soon," he persuades.
As much as you want to sleep, it's dangerous to sleep while riding on the back of the bike. You turn your head to the side, enjoying the morning view.
"The weather is nice though," you delightfully sigh at the picturesque sight of the rising sun, "look at the sunrise!"
Changbin glances away to see the sunrise on his right then looks straight ahead again, "I wish the traffic is like this every day," he adds.
"That's true," you agree with him as the street is almost empty except for a couple of cars passing by.
The ride isn't a spur-of-the-moment decision, it was planned a week ago. Changbin said he wanted to go to this bike meet in the next town over but the event isn't until the afternoon so he suggested that the two of you take an early ride and enjoy the town in the morning.
"Should I take that exit?" He asks you out of the blue.
If you have to be honest, you don't really care where he takes you, you simply love riding on the back and clinging to him or as in Changbin's words: being his backpack.
"I don't know," you answer with a perplexed look.
"No, we're going the right way," he says, confirming his own question.
The town is nothing like the city you live in and since it's only 8 in the morning, it's rather quiet. Changbin drives slowly while turning his head side to side to find someplace to have breakfast and more importantly, coffee.
After a few minutes of driving around the area, he finally found a diner and parked his bike right outside. You feel rejuvenated the second you have the first sip of coffee and have some hearty breakfast to go with it.
"I kind of want to eat the waffle too but I don't think I can finish my breakfast sandwich," you mumble in dilemma while chewing your food.
"Just order it. I'll finish it for you," Changbin offers as he sips his coffee.
You grin at him and waste no time to order it. He ends up not only finishing your breakfast sandwich but also the waffles.
With your stomach full, you decide to take some time for your body to digest it by taking a walk to the nearest park to enjoy another cup of iced coffee, enjoying the warm weather, looking at people with their pets, and watching the kids playing by the water fountain. You like how everyone is enjoying their day at the park.
When it gets to the middle of the day, the two of you walk back to the bike and you suddenly get the urge to try and practice riding the bike. Changbin has taught you several times and you deem that your driving is safe enough for a quick ride around the block.
"Can I ride?" You ask.
Changbin is putting his leather gloves on and your question makes his eyebrow raised in a mix of worry and surprise.
"Just around the neighborhood," you add.
It's not only your driving that worries him but also because he loves his bike so much which makes him reluctant to let someone else drive it. He takes a step back and looks at you, and you can see that he's considering it.
"Are you going to drop me?" He asks you.
"No," you assure him with a smile.
You don't wait for his permission to get on his bike and for the first time in a while, sit on the front. Before you get to do anything else, you turn on the engine and rev it up.
Once you deem that the engine is ready, you look over your shoulder at him and say, "Come on! Be my backpack!"
He hesitates but seeing that you're already on the bike, he relents. He walks to the back of the bike and puts his hand on your shoulder.
"Are you ready?"
"Yes," you answer, putting your hands on each side of the handle.
"Hold your feet very sturdy!" He reminds you while looking at your form.
"I got it," you say as you obey his words, planting your feet firmly on the asphalt to hold both the bike and your own weight, and soon, Changbin's weight too.
"Did you put the kickstand up?" He asks again.
"Yes," you confirm, it's the first thing you do after getting on the bike.
Changbin looks down to check it himself then nods, "Okay, alright, we're good."
You prepare yourself and grip the handles tightly, "Okay."
"Okay. Here we go," he sighs, signaling you that he's about to get on the bike. He puts both hands on your shoulders and swiftly, hoists himself up to get onto the bike.
He sighs as he settles himself on the back and puts his hands on each side of your waist, "Okay, we're doing it," he says with his voice slightly quivering.
You understand his worries and that's why you only plan on riding it slowly and only for a couple of blocks.
"Are you holding on good?" You ask again because you can feel how rigid he is behind you.
"Yes," he meekly answers.
Following every step Changbin taught you, you slowly let out the clutch lever until the bike starts to roll forward. Once the bike is moving, you start to accelerate slightly and then slowly, you pull your feet up onto the pegs.
You drive in a straight line to adjust yourself to it and also enjoy how it feels to ride a bike, and at the same time, ignoring how Changbin intensely watches your hands shifting the gears with his hands anxiously gripping the sides of your jacket.
You may not be as smooth at shifting gears as Changbin yet but you know your way around them now, when to pull the clutch or let go of the over etc.
"Be careful there's a turn up ahead," he warns you.
However, you still need a lot of practice on turning and it makes you a little panic. You keep your calm and try to apply what Changbin has taught you.
As you enter the turn, you slow down, release the throttle, keep your head up and lean with the bike.
"Oops!" You lowly gasp as the bike gets too close to the curb as you turn.
"Slow down," he reminds you, his hand gripping at your ribcage now.
You lose focus for a second and the bike jolts as you put the wrong combination to shift gears.
Changbin nervously laughs at that, "That was a hard shift," he comments.
"I'm sorry," you meekly say.
"That's okay," he softly says, his hand goes to the front and rests it on your stomach.
Since you still need to practice your turning, you decide to drive in a straight line, slow and steady, and after a while, you feel comfortable enough to pick up the speed.
"I like how this feels," you share with him.
"What?" Changbin asks with his big arm steadily wrapped around you.
"I like having a backpack," you say.
"You like having me as your backpack?"
"Yeah," you answer without shifting your eyes away from the road ahead.
You keep driving for another block and once you are at a stop, you keep the front brake engaged and then plant your feet firmly on the ground.
"Start with your left foot, then your right," you unconsciously mutter to yourself as you're doing it.
Changbin seems to hear it that he chuckles at it and then he lets out a big sigh of relief, wasting not another second to get off the bike while you stay on the bike, turning off the engine and putting the kickstand out.
Getting sweaty from the heat and nerves, you take off your helmet and air it out. You look at him and he looks like he just got off a roller coaster.
"So... how did you like it?" You ask with a low chuckle.
He also takes his helmet off and plants his hands on each side of his waist, "Uh... we did not die so that's something," he jokingly answers.
Well, you're not asking for a compliment but you expect him to, at least, appreciate your effort. You hide your disappointment, looking away and pretending to fix your hair.
Sensing that you're not pleased with his answer, he comes to the front and places his hand on your thigh.
He looks at you as he says, "That was good."
"Thanks, baby," you reply with a smile.
He feels the need to reassure you that he meant his words, he puts his hand under your chin and slowly leans in to kiss you ever so gently that it feels like a soft gust of wind brushing past your lips.
When he pulls away, he smiles at you and then puts his hands on your waist.
You put your hands around his shoulders and pull him close, "Why aren't you a touchy backpack?"
"Why am I not a touchy backpack?" He repeats your question.
"Mmh-hmm."
"Because I was scared for my life," he answers.
"You don't have to worry about that," you tell him.
"And why is that?"
You take his hand and take it inside your jacket, putting it on your clothed breast, "Cause you have two, nice airbags here," you say with a seductive smile.
He looks around, afraid that anyone is seeing this and he quickly draws his hand, getting flustered from doing a lewd act on a bright, sunny day.
He retracts his hand and puts it on your neck, using it to bring your head close so he can kiss you again, a little harder and deeper than the previous one.
The ride continues, Changbin takes the bike through the housing area where the houses share similar designs and are painted in almost the same color hues of pale pink and yellow. It almost feels like you're being transported to a different era.
"The houses are beautiful," you comment, "They're like from the 70s."
He lowers the speed to see the houses and nods, "They're beautiful," he says.
It becomes a normal thing to talk about random things on the road and you're comfortable sharing anything that crosses your head at that moment which you are rarely able to do with anyone before.
He's following the GPS that guides him to where the bike meet and as the bike stops at a red light, it's your time to get a little touchy with him.
You run your hands up his arms, feeling every inch of his skin that gets hot under the sun and gently squeeze his biceps, you can feel the muscles contract under your touch. You eventually take your hands to his shoulders and give him a massage.
He puts his hands off the handlebar and allows himself to relax from your slow yet deep massage.
"Oh, that's the spot," he moans in pleasure.
"You like that, huh?"
He doesn't answer but rests his back against your chest as you put your arms around him, letting you hold him until the lights turn green.
The bike meet is at a parking lot of the town's biggest park where it has a view of the big river that cuts through the town. Arriving there, so many people were already there and bikes filled almost half of the parking lot.
This will be your first time at a bike meet and you don't know what to do at an event like this so you plan on sticking close to Changbin.
"Am I good to get off?" You ask since he already found a spot to park his bike.
"Yes," he answers, planting his feet on the asphalt so you can climb off, and then he proceeds to park the bike on the available spot.
The day is hot so you waste no time to take your helmet off, fanning your neck as you start to get sweaty again.
"Babe, where you at?" Changbin asks, turning his head side to side looking for you.
You walk up to him while carrying the helmet in one hand, "I'm right here," you tell him with your hand touching his shoulder.
He grabs your hand while the other is busy unclasping the strap of his helmet, "It's so hot," he groans.
"Tell me about it!" You say as you keep fanning your sweaty neck.
Just like its name, the bike meet is where bikers come and meet the other bikers, they're hanging out and talking about none other than... bikes. As planned, you're sticking close to Changbin, walking hand in hand while admiring various models of bikes parked in a row.
"Look at that R6!" Changbin says while pointing at a bike.
You don't know what R6 is but you reckon it's the name of the bike model or engine, you have no idea so you just nod at him.
A bike catches his attention and Changbin comes up to the owner and strikes up a conversation with the owner. It's fascinating how the two of them converse about a lot of things even though they were strangers to each other a minute ago. You reckon maybe that's what happens when two people with the same hobbies meet each other.
"Do you want to try? Take a quick lap around the lot?" The owner offers while adjusting his sunglasses on his nose.
"Can I?" Changbin asks with a flustered smile.
"Yes. You can," the owner says, handing him the keys.
You understand that he's just so passionate about these things but you try not to laugh at how Changbin looks like he just got asked out by his crush. He looks smitten, he has a shit-eating grin on his face.
It's funny until Changbin forgot that you're there and only realized it when he saw you standing behind the bike and blinking your eyes at him.
"Do you want to take a ride?" He offers you.
"No, it's okay," you kindly refuse, "I'll just wait here."
Changbin looks like a kid on a Christmas morning as he gets on the bike, his grin doesn't wear off even for a second and he rubs his hands together before wrapping his hands around the handlebar.
"I'll see you in a minute," he says to you.
"Take your time," you say with a smile.
As he leaves for a test drive, the owner kindly takes you to someone's else truck not far from where you are where a group of people gathering there because someone is handing out free beers.
"Thank you," you mutter as someone hands you a cold can of beer.
You take shelter under the tree and take your jacket off as your skin gets sticky with sweat, then quietly sip your beer to quench your thirst.
Having nothing to do, you take your phone out and you check some notifications when a girl comes up and stands next to you.
"Hey, how are you doing?" She asks.
You look up from your phone to look at her because saying it back without looking seems impolite. Your first impression of her is that she has a strong presence, she has tattoos covering her both arms and a septum piercing, and she looks so cool that you feel a little intimidated.
"Hey," you reply with a smile.
She smiles back at you while holding her bottle of beer in one hand, "Is this your first bike meet?"
It appears that people can see how new everything is for you and you never feel so caught off guard. You let out a chuckle and nod, "Yeah, it is."
"Do you ride?" She asks in between her sips of beer.
"No, I'm still learning," you shyly answer.
The girl keeps on smiling so you reflexively smile back to her as you wipe your wet hand on your jeans from the condensation on the can of beer.
She suddenly holds her phone at you, "Can I have your numbers?"
That's when you start wondering if she's just being friendly or she's trying to ask you out. You're thinking it's the former so you you awkwardly take her phone, entering your phone numbers on it.
She takes it back from you and asks for your name, typing it as you tell her. She then shoves her phone into the back pocket of her jeans.
"What are you doing next Friday? Want to go for a ride?" She asks with a flirty smile and her hair gets caught between her glossy lips.
"A ride? With you?" You innocently ask just to confirm if she's asking you that.
"Yes."
It turns out that she's doing the latter after all and somehow, you feel flattered that she asked which makes you hesitate to reject her, but your boyfriend is about to get back from his test drive and that'll be a lot more explain.
"Uhm... I would love to," you answer and keep a smile on your face to soften the blow, "But I came here with my boyfriend so..."
You trail off but it's safe to assume that she'll understand what you meant by saying that. Her smile wavers a little but she remains warm and friendly.
"So should I delete your numbers or...?" She playfully asks.
"I mean, we can be friends," you respond with a low laugh.
She retracts her hand from the back pocket of her jeans and laughs, "I guess we can do that."
She then takes another sip of her beer and looks at you, "Guess I'll see you around," she says.
"See you around," you say back out of courtesy.
Not long after the girl leaves, Changbin returns from his test drive looking like he just came back from a date. You offer your beer to him and he doesn't hesitate to take a long gulp while you dab the sheen of sweat on his neck with the back of your hand.
"Was it fun?" You softly ask.
"It was thrilling," he answers with a grin and he feels like sharing his joy with you with a spontaneous peck on your lips.
Changbin puts his hands on your waist and pulls you close, placing a kiss on your lips once more, then lets go with a smile.
"I saw a food truck just around the corner. Want to take a quick bite?"
"Okay."
He excitedly talks about the test drive as he takes your hand and walks by your side. He helps you with your jacket and carrying it in one hand.
"Did I make you wait long?" He asks out of the blue.
"Not at all," you answer without a beat.
He smiles and brings your hand close to his mouth to kiss it. It's nice that all these bikes and bikers don't stop him from being affectionate towards you. However, you can't believe that you consider not telling him about the girl, not that you want to hide it, nothing happens so it feels unnecessary to share.
"You know, a girl just asked me out earlier," you blurt out.
Changbin stops on his track and looks at you in slight shock, "While I was away?"
"Yeah," you innocently answer with a nod, "she asked for my numbers and wanted to take me on a ride."
His eyes comically widened, "And what did you say?"
"I think what's crazy is I considered it for a moment," you admit with an embarrassed laugh.
He takes a step closer and grabs each side of your head, holding your head still as he stares into your eyes, "you didn't mention anything about me?"
"Obviously, I did, or else I'd be gone on that ride with her," you answer, half-laughing.
"Babe?!" He gives you an inexplicable look of worry and surprise.
"There's something on your face," you say, wiping something on his cheek and then rubbing your fingers together.
"Wait, is that jealousy?" You tease him.
Without warning, he pulls you hard until your body is pressed against him and he holds you tightly, "You have to stay close to me from now on," he says.
"No," you jokingly respond.
Displeased with your answer, he presses a kiss on your neck and you groan in complaint, "I'm sweaty. Stop!"
"I only left you for a few minutes and someone wanted to take you away from me," he says with a sigh, then he puts his arm around your waist to keep you close to his side as the two of you continue walking across the parking lot.
-
The bike meet is still going but Changbin decides to leave early since you both have a long way home. You leave as the day is about to get dark, stopping for dinner on the way and another quick stop at a gas station.
You stand on the side as Changbin stays on the bike, inserting the gas pump into the fuel tank of his bike.
"That should be me," you joke with a sly smile.
He flashes you his half-smirk and jacks the gas pump in and out of the fuel tank.
"Perv!" You jokingly remark.
"Hey! You started it!" He argues back.
The sky is bruised as the night is about to take over and the heat is being replaced by the cool night air, flapping the sleeves of your jacket as the bike speeds past cars on the highway.
"It's windy," you say, feeling the contrast change of temperature.
"Better not rain," he says.
"I hope not," you sigh as you look up at the sky and think that the sky is getting dark because it's going to rain soon.
Changbin lets go of his hand and feels the air in his hand, then says, "I feel a little water. I think it's going to rain."
The wind is getting stronger, you can feel it as how it hits the visor of your helmet and you feel the need to cling tighter onto Changbin's back.
"I feel like I'm going to fall off," you tell him.
"Hold on tight, babe," he says in concern, taking both of your hands and putting them around him.
"You're shivering," he says, hurriedly rubbing your forearm with his gloved hand to create heat.
Feeling mischievous, you glide one of your hands down to his crotch and cup the big bulge in his jeans.
"It's warmer here," you tell him while quietly giggling inside your helmet.
"Not here," he says, taking your hand and placing it on his tummy where he holds both your hands there so they don't wander around.
The change of weather doesn't make the ride less of what it is, another joyride with Changbin and you feel so content with how you spent the day together.
Even with the bike accelerates and rolls forward faster than before, you're not afraid because you trust Changbin and you know he'll keep you safe. All you need to do is hold on to him tighter.
"I like this," you mutter with contentment.
He glances to the back for a second, "Mmh?"
"I love being your backpack," you tell him.
Even though you can't see it through his helmet, you can tell that he's smiling. He holds his hand out to the back and you immediately take it, letting him lace his fingers with yours and together, you're riding through the day and into the night.
-
The rain gets to you both even though you're only a few blocks away from your apartment building, resulting in your clothes being drenched in rainwater.
The two of you run straight to the bathroom, stripping away the clothes that stuck to your skin in struggle, and put them right into the washing machine.
Once you're fully naked, you break into a run to your bedroom and jump onto the bed, getting under the cover to get warm.
"Scoot over!" Changbin demands as he climbs onto the bed, forcing you to halt on your snug to scoot to the side.
You immediately cling yourself to his side and tangle your legs with his. You're cuddling under the duvet to seek warmth from each other's body heat.
Changbin offers his arm as your pillow and that way, he can easily lean in and kiss your face. His lips feel wet and cold, but it feels like he's leaving searing kisses on your skin.
You slightly tilt your head up and capture his lips in a slow, tender kiss that melts your bodies together. You feel his hand getting under and—
"Oh, oh, cold," you sharply gasp against his lips as he places his hand on your stomach.
"Oh, sorry," he mutters, refraining from touching you and taking your hand instead, intertwining it together.
In contrast to his default look, Changbin looks so gentle as he rests his head on the pillow and softly gazes into your eyes, the kind of gaze that slowly makes its way into your heart.
"I had fun today," you tell him as you rub your lips on his knuckle.
"I had fun too," he says back while removing the hair covering your face.
"I think I'm just so happy when I'm with you," you honestly share.
Changbin softly smiles and presses a long peck on your lips, "I'm happy when I'm with you," he repeats your words back to you.
"Are you just going to keep repeating my words back to me?" You joke
"Yes," he shamelessly answers.
"Don't you feel glad that I called you cute that day?"
He lets out a chuckle, "I am more glad about the fact that you didn't run away with the girl who asked you out."
"Yeah, you should be," you say with a sly smile.
Changbin has only been dating you for three months now but it feels more meaningful and fulfilling than his past, year-long relationships. Maybe what people said is true, when you find the right one, it's just clicked.
The temperature is slowly rising as your body overlaps him and both of your lips are locked in a slow yet rapturous kiss. Changbin runs his hands all over you, feeling your miles and miles of soft skin with just his fingertips. His hands eventually found the ample flesh of your ass cheeks and knead on them until they mold into his hands.
Needing a breather, you pull away from the kiss and stay hovering above him. Changbin tucks your hair behind your ear and keeps his hand there to stop it from draping around your face.
You plant your hand against the mattress and then you cup his jaw while deeply staring into his eyes, making him feel more naked than he already is.
"Such a beautiful face," You murmur with adoration pooling in your eyes and your index finger touching his lower lip.
Tempted by his full lips, you press a quick kiss and let go to ask him a question that instantly arouses him.
"Can I ride?"
Changbin doesn't have to think, he'll do anything for you and that includes, letting you use his body for your pleasure. He stares back into your eyes and then he takes your hand to press a kiss on each finger.
"You can ride as long as you want," he finally answers.
The duvet slides down your body as you get up on the bed, positioning yourself on top of him and then slowly, lowering your crotch right on his mouth.
Changbin excessively licks his lips to wet them before he makes contact with your delicate flesh and keeps his mouth open until he feels your wetness on his tongue.
You hold on to the headboard of the bed for support and keep yourself steady, not wanting to accidentally put your whole weight on him and suffocate him.
"Oh, God... Yeah..." you moan as you feel his tongue lapping between your folds.
Despite you covering half of his face, Changbin seems to enjoy pleasing you with his mouth and his eyes are fluttering if not locked in an eye contact with you.
"Oh, my!" You gasp and then break into giggles as he sucks hard at your clit.
You look down and put your hand in his hair, tugging at it as you're watching his mouth deep in your wetness and his nose pressing on your clit.
"Oh, why are you so good, mmh?" You murmur with a flirty smile.
He snakes his arms under your thighs and squeezes the ample flesh of your ass while bringing you closer to him as he sticks his tongue into your gushing hole.
"Oh!" You gasp again, feeling his slick, hot tongue stretching your entrance.
With your hand gripping the headboard, you carefully unfold your leg and plant your foot against the mattress, that way, you can give him a little space to breathe.
You look down and see that the lower half of his face is glistening wet with your essence and you couldn't be more aroused seeing it.
Changbin slightly tilts his head to the side and opens his mouth wider. His hands glide up to your waist and force you to sit on his face again, ignoring the fact that he needs to breathe.
"Greedy baby," you mutter while bringing his hands to your breasts and kneading them together.
After a while, you decide that it's enough foreplay and slowly lift yourself so he can breathe. You crawl to the back, just enough to lower your lips on him and kiss his face while licking your essence that gets all over his mouth and chin, and eventually, both of your lips reunite in an enamoring kiss.
From his lips, you make a trail of kisses down his body and land a stripe of lick on his nipple before continuing to drag your lips on the ridges of his muscles.
When your lips arrive on his abdomen, you lift your head to look at him and flash him a wicked grin. His lips curl into his signature half smirk, knowing what's about to come him as you wrap your hand around his hardening member.
You tilt your head to the side and kiss his shaft, and another kiss on the tip, then slowly, you take him into your mouth.
It takes some time to finally be able to take all of him into your mouth and you compensate the rest you can't take with your hand, combining the two stimulations and moving in sync.
Changbin props his elbow against the mattress so he can watch you take his cock into your mouth.
"Love seeing those pretty lips around my cock," he murmurs while putting your hair away from covering your face.
You maintain eye contact with him as you suck his cock and bob your head between his legs, showing him how eager you are to please him.
"Are you trying to suck the life out of me, huh?" He playfully says as you suck his cock too hard.
You end up choking on air as you laugh with his cock deep in your mouth. You immediately pull away and gasp for air the moment his cock is out of your mouth.
When your eyes meet him, you crack a shy smile and crawl to him, not stopping until your lips crash against him.
"I want you so much," you openly admit.
He tenderly cups your jaw and sucks on your lower lip, playfully nibbling at it before letting it go with a playful smirk.
"No one is stopping you, baby," he mutters to you.
Changbin likes it when you're on top. He likes it more when he can just lay on his back and watch you fucking him good with your breasts jiggling along to the movements.
"How are you so good at this?" He asks, befuddled.
You don't say anything but shoot him a naughty smile. You toss all of your hair to the back and take his hands in yours, "Touch me, baby!"
There's no part of you that he doesn't like, your body is divine and you feel so soft all over that he can hear himself whimpering that he gets so overwhelmed by it. He holds you close and plants his head in between your soft mounds, getting himself intoxicated in your natural scent.
"I'm close, baby," you whine as you keep bouncing on his cock.
"Keep going!" He simply responds, holding you by the waist and ready to help you to get to your release.
"Oh, baby," you moan with your eyes screwed shut and gripping his shoulders with your nails dug into the flesh.
Oh, yeah, you don't even have to say it, he can feel you tightening around him and sucking him deeper, making him lose some self-control.
"It's okay. You can let go!" He tells you with a haste kiss on your jaw and neck.
You push yourself to keep moving and using the strength you have to keep going, your moans turn into cries as you get on the brink of climaxing.
"Yes, baby, let go," he encourages you with a hard kiss on your open mouth.
A raw moan falls out of your mouth as you reach your high and Changbin immediately catches you as you collapse into his arms, holding you close to fill your need for closeness.
"That's my girl," he whispers into your ear.
He places sweet, little kisses on your shoulder with his hand gently rubbing your back. He then slips his hand into the hair on the side of your head and holds your face as he presses a long kiss on your lips.
Changbin puts your hands around his shoulders and wraps his arms around you, then swiftly, he turns you over, having you pinned underneath him this time. He gives you a moment to relish your orgasm and gives you cuddles and kisses as you slowly gather your senses back.
"Put it back in, please?" You lowly mutter at him with your lips grazing his as you speak.
"Already?" He jokingly asks.
"Yes," you eagerly answer with a grin.
He presses his lips on you again with his hand squeezing the flesh on your waist. Without breaking the kiss, he positions himself between your legs and rubs his cock against your heating core, his tip teasing at your entrance.
You spread your legs wider and arch your back, getting impatient to be filled by him as you squirm under him.
"Want it that bad, mmh?"
"Yeah," you shamelessly answer with an eager nod.
It gives him a boost to know that he's the only one who can give you what you want and what is there to do than prove that he can give it to you right.
A few strokes on his length later, Changbin aims the tip into your entrance and he pushes it in by his hips. He's torn between looking at his cock slowly disappearing into you or the overwhelmed expression on your face, both are just as arousing.
"Ah..." you breathlessly moan and the pained expression on your face is replaced by a blissful one.
A second later, your eyes fluttered open, and instantly found his eyes looking at you. You run your hands up his arms and keep gliding them until they reunite on the nape of his neck, and then you pull him close for a kiss.
"I don't think I'll ever get used to your big cock," you mutter once you break the kiss.
"Then how you always take me so well?" He says with a soft smile.
Changbin wants this to last as long as possible and he's not just talking about the sex, it's the intimacy, the proximity, and how he becomes one with you, body and soul. He likes everything about this moment and if he could, he wants to stay in this moment forever.
"This is kind of romantic," you say as you hold his face with both hands.
"Why is that?" He asks while thrusting into you at a slow yet steady pace.
"It's raining, we're both naked, we're kissing, we're having a slow sex..." You list everything about the moment and place sweet little kisses on his lips in between words, "... no condom."
Instead of disrupting, laughter makes it more than just a mere physical thing, it's bonding and trust, it's you and him making love.
Changbin had his doubts but now, not anymore. He is certain about his feelings and he knows where he needs to take this relationship.
"I have an idea how to make it more romantic," he says with a cryptic smile.
"Yeah...?" You stare up at him in curiosity.
He takes a deep breath and exhales the words that he's been keeping in his chest for a while, "By saying I love you."
"Huh?" You seem to doubt that he's really going to do it.
"I love you," he says, steadfastly and with all of his heart.
There's a moment of silence and he believes you must have been taken aback by his sudden confession. The surprise in your eyes fades as your lips curve into a warm smile.
"Dang! I thought you were going to say something like let's cum together," you jokingly say with your fingers playing with the tendrils of hair on the nape of his neck.
"Well, we can do that too," he says, taking that as a challenge.
The faint sounds of the raindrops tapping against the window mixed with the skin-slapping sounds of his thrusts. Changbin keeps his pace steady but with added intensity to it, and he goes as shallow as possible in each thrust.
"Baby?" You desperately call his name between your moans.
He answers your call with a haste kiss, "Yes, baby?"
"I'm close," you tell him with your teeth faintly biting your lower lip.
"We're getting there, baby," he murmurs and rushes to kiss you again.
This is why Changbin likes making you cum first, he likes the way your walls are getting even tighter around him, and more importantly, he doesn't feel burdened to keep holding himself back.
He holds your legs by the back of your thighs and bends them until your knees meet your chest, then carefully, he plants his feet against the mattress. In this position, he can go deeper into you and you can watch his cock pumping in and out of you.
"You're so deep inside me, baby," you speak so low it's almost like a whisper but it's your wide eyes and heavy with lust that gets him off.
He deems it's time to quicken the pace, he adds more speed to his thrusting with his hands roughly pressing on the back of your legs.
"Oh, baby, oh..." The rest of your sentence is incoherent and you turn into a moaning mess under him.
Changbin can no longer think, he keeps going and pushing himself to the limit until he snaps, losing himself in immense pleasure, flying high in it and slowly, plunging his way into your arms.
The two of you holding each other as you're coming down from the high, bodies stacked on top of each other, hands intertwined, and lips found each other in a sensuous kiss.
"Bin?" You softly call his name with your hand endearingly holding the side of his face.
He gives your lips a quick peck and looks into your eyes, "Yes, baby?"
"I love you too," you say with fondness pooling in your eyes.
It would be a lie if he said that it didn't make his heart leap from hearing it but he needs to make sure that you didn't say it out of pressure.
He nuzzles his head in your neck and plants a hot kiss there, "You know you don't have to say it back to me," he softly mutters with another kiss on your jaw.
"But I want to. I love you too," you reply.
You said those three words again and the effect remains the same, hearing it for the second time makes his heart feel like it's about to jump out of his chest. He kisses you out of happiness and with his heart full of warm feelings.
"Dang! I thought you were going to say we have to go for another round," Changbin jokingly says as a way to poke fun at you.
You chuckle and bring his head close, catching him off guard, you playfully bite at his ear, then triumphantly giggling after.
Changbin yelps in pain and quickly rubs on it, he's getting back at you with a bite on your shoulder.
"Stop it!" You stop him by pushing his chest away from yours.
He pauses and looks at you, "You want to stop?"
"No," you shake your head at him, and with a sly smile you continue, "I want you to give me another ride."
Changbin stares back at your eyes filled with wild glints and he does nothing but hover above you, his face lingers only inches away from yours and you can see mischief flashes in his eyes, making your heart pitter patter inside your chest.
All of a sudden, he takes both of your hands and pins them above your head. With his lips curled into a wicked smile, he leans in closer and says, "Better hold on tight then cause it's going to be a bumpy ride."
-
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wdym christmas is next week?????
#wasnt yesterday just november??? hello????????#im still writing ‘nov’ in my dates by mistake lmao wdym we’ll be in a new year 2 weeks from now#but aaaaa… christmas huh~~~~~~ it’s that time of year when i have to come up with excuses to skip the family gathering again#i havent gone since. like. 2019(?) and i like to keep it that way#b u t~ if i can skip the gathering i’ll finally get back to idol sengen~~~~ maybe~~~~~~~#vol 5 has been out since f o r e v e r i really ought to get at least the asuna pov chapters done before the year ends (pipe dream)#wait no i’ll get the asuna povs done before next cny. yeah. that’ll give me an extra month!!!!!!!!!!!!!#but hmmmmmmmmmm… once im done with vol 5 (in a million years) i gotta polish up my mona novel tl too… man.#maybe i’ll make a mona tl masterpost after all that~~~~ minus the honeypre event tls bc that’s a whole other ‘verse lol#but i really wanna do mona’s honeypre main story too… it gives context as to how she landed the event gig (that led to her getting scouted)#…should my ny’s resolution to be to finish all possible mona tls that have yet to be done maybe…?#…nah im just gonna make it ‘learn to ride a bike’ for the 15th year in a row. giggity#a n y w a y s merry early christmas from my workplace ig? the ‘mas luncheon from a couple days back sure gifted every other person something#that they didnt ask for (read: food poisoning). the fact that it took out over half my department still gets me thoughhhhhhh#(i wasnt affected though~~~~ ((didnt eat anything)) i did lose my 1h break for the day though… what a waste.)#ok that’s enough of being annoying for one day~~~~ see y’all tomorrow (maybe) if hw decides to drop an announcement or sth#which would prolly be either their comi.ket lineup or chizuchan manga vol 2’s cover but hey—)
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animal
chapter 1
friendly reminder that i am not a writer, i'm just a girl who loves logan howlett and wanted to write something exploring his animalistic side since i so rarely see it done. my first language is also not english, so please do not be rude when giving me any feedback.
warnings: non-sexual nudity, swearing, some sexual-ish thoughts
series masterlist │my masterlist
you had been baking a pie, rolling out the homemade dough for the crust, humming along with the soft music playing through the house, when through the open window you’d seen him. a large man, as naked as the day he was born, running towards your farm. you could only watch in numb shock as he went into your barn, now hidden from view.
what the fuck.
you haven’t been inside that barn in over a year. the farm belonged to your grandparents, and you’d inherited the property after they died. while you love the peace and quiet that came from living in the middle of nowhere, you aren’t a farm girl, so the barn went largely unused.
you think about just leaving the man alone, hoping that he’ll leave eventually.
you keep rolling out the dough, soothing repetitive motions, while you stare at the barn, expecting something else to happen. but nothing does. you almost think you made the man up in a moment of insanity.
it’s this that gets you to finally exit the house, anxiously heading towards the old barn with its creaking wood and chipped paint. you take a deep breath to prepare yourself before stepping inside, every nerve in your body screaming at you that this is a very bad idea.
you’re both relieved and not when you see the man curled up in a corner. relieved, because you weren’t going insane, and not because, well, now you’re going to have to deal with this strange situation.
you take a step closer when he doesn’t lunge at you to attack, then immediately jump back at the gleaming metal claws that appear from between his knuckles. one second he seems mostly harmless - or at least as harmless as a buff, six foot tall man could be - and the next he’s growling at you, face twisted into a snarl, body tense and ready to pounce at the slightest wrong move.
“hi,” you say, softly, the way you were taught to speak to distressed animals. the man cocks his head to the side but doesn’t lunge at you, which you take as a good sign. “i won’t hurt you, promise. but i am curious to know what led you here.”
by here, you mean both the physical location of your house in the middle of nowhere but also whatever reason he has for running through said middle of nowhere naked. there’s some kind of story there, likely not a good one judging by the way he watches you distrustfully. you have a feeling he hasn’t had a good or easy life.
the man doesn’t answer, not that you really expected him to, but slowly his claws retreat back into his skin. he’s marginally less threatening like this, though you know the smallest thing could bring the sharp blades back out.
despite this, you don’t believe he’s a danger to you. he just seems scared and confused.
“are you hungry?” you ask him. again, he doesn’t answer, and you wonder if he’s able to speak. “okay, how about this, i’ll bring you food and you don’t have to eat it but you can. i’ll be right back.”
you don’t turn your back on the barn, on him, as you jog back into your house. it’s much warmer inside than it is in the barn - you were so distracted that you hadn’t been feeling the full effect of the early winter cold. you think of the man, he must be freezing, but you hadn’t seen any sign of it, no shivering, not even goosebumps raising on his skin.
one thing at a time, you tell yourself.
your half-finished pie is sitting discarded on the kitchen counter and you look at it mournfully. you’ll finish it later, and maybe you’ll actually have someone to enjoy it with you.
(it gets lonely sometimes, so far from any cities or towns. usually, you don’t mind it, but apparently there’s some small part of you that still desperately craves human contact and interaction, since you’re jumping at the chance to take care of a random stranger.)
you have leftovers in the fridge that you suppose will have to do, since making him a fresh, home-cooked meal would take time, and you’d promised to return hastily. you heat it up quickly, the warmth emanating from the food another reminder of the frigid temperature outside as you bring the plate into the barn.
he looks up when you enter, sniffing the air like a dog. it’s cute, and you smile as you put the plate down, careful not to get too close to him, letting him make the first move.
whether he trusts you or he’s just starving you don’t know, but he rushes to your side and starts eating like he hasn’t had food in a month. with him distracted and closer to you, you can get a better look at him.
he doesn’t look malnourished. he’s buff, muscular and hairy, and you have to stop your eyes from going lower as you stare at his chest.
you look away despite the man being too distracted to notice your shameless ogling. he might be the hottest man you’ve ever seen in your life - or you’ve just been away from men for too long and have become pathetic.
he eats quickly, and looks up expectantly at you when he finishes, like a dog at their owner. you giggle at the comparison you’ve made in your head - it’s quite accurate, you find, with the way he immediately seems to trust you now that you’ve fed him.
“do you wanna go inside? it’s pretty cold out here, and inside i have more food.” you say, and when you go to stand up so does he. you explicitly do not look down.
he follows you into your house, and you’re so glad you live alone so there’s no one to question whatever is happening.
it’s easy to find extra clothes in the guest room, less easy to find any that you think will fit him. eventually, you give up, hoping the sweatpants you found will do for now, and grab one of your own shirts, thankful for your habit of buying oversized men’s t-shirts. it goes down to your thighs, surely it’ll fit him.
you turn to head back into the living room where you left him, and your soul nearly leaves your body when you spot him standing at the door. you yelp, your hand flying to your chest and the clothes falling to the ground.
he startles at the noise, tensing and looking around like he expects danger.
“shit,” you swear, “how are you so quiet?”
he frowns, and you could swear that he seems apologetic, though you aren’t sure how accurate your interpretations of his facial expressions are given that you’ve only known him for about an hour. it makes you feel a little guilty, though really you shouldn’t be since he snuck up on you.
you’re about to offer him the clothes when you pause, gaze locked on his chest. “you should shower.”
he follows you when you lead him to the bathroom, which you take as agreement on his part. he’s dirty, covered everywhere by a thin layer of dirt. a shower will feel good. it would also give you time to process this without him watching you. his eyes are quite intense, and he keeps them directed at you. you need the privacy to freak out.
it’s only after you place the clothes down on the countertop and show him how the knobs in your shower work that you realise he’s not making any moves to enter the shower. you start to leave the bathroom and he takes a step to follow you.
you stop, thinking about how he doesn’t seem to know how to speak, how he looked so scared and confused when you’d found him, and you sigh when you realise it’s likely he doesn’t know how to use a shower either.
what is your story? you think to yourself.
“do you want help?” is what you ask instead.
he nods slowly, which is the closest you’ve gotten to a response from him so far. you look up at the ceiling, inhaling deeply and bracing yourself when you realise this means you’re going to have to touch the hot, naked man.
you turn on the shower, waiting for it to warm up before you motion for the man to get in. you are absolutely not willing to get naked in the shower with a stranger whose name you don’t even know, so you step in fully clothed, already regretting it when you feel the fabric growing wet and sticking to your skin.
it’s as you’re helping rinse the dirt off him that you spot the writing on his dog tags. you’d noticed them previously but hadn’t been able to get a good look.
you take the metal chain in your hand, turning it to read the name stamped into the metal.
“logan,” you read, and the man in front of you purrs, a low rumble in his throat. you smile. “i’m going to guess that’s your name. logan.”
this seems to relax the last dredges of tension that he holds. he practically melts into you, and the feeling of being trusted so fully by someone who seems so broken warms your heart in a way that you haven’t felt in years.
you finish washing him up in silence, only interrupted by occasional soft purrs and hums from logan. he quite enjoys it when you wash his hair, hands reaching up to scrub shampoo into the strands, nails scratching at his scalp. you switch your earlier comparison from a dog to a cat, the purring reminding you of the kitten you had growing up.
he shakes his head when he gets out of the shower, water flying everywhere, and you laugh as you hand him a towel. you once again have to help him when he just stares at it like he doesn’t know what to do with it.
he gets dressed on his own, thankfully, since you already feel like you might implode from being in such close quarters with an extremely attractive, wet, nude man for so long.
you leave him for a minute to dry yourself off and change into dry clothes. it’s nice to have a moment of reprieve, where you can simply breathe and process and question what the fuck you just got yourself into. you finally allow yourself to freak out a tiny bit, muttering to yourself in the mirror, tugging at your hair.
you just manage to pull a shirt over your head when you hear quiet whimpering at the door and the sound of loud banging against it.
your heart breaks at the sound, reminded of the wounded animals your grandparents would nurse back to health, and you rush to pull some pants on so you can open the door. logan looks at you with the most devastated eyes and then falls into you, face nudging into your neck, inhaling deeply. you stumble back, thankful for the wall that catches you. he’s heavier than he looks, which is saying something, given his size.
you’re shocked for a moment, frozen, but quickly come back to yourself and place your hands on his firm back.
“i’m sorry,” you say, “i didn’t mean to scare you. i wasn’t going to leave you, i just needed privacy for a moment.”
you don’t know if he understands anything you’re saying but it makes you feel better to explain yourself. you’re shocked that this is the same man who was snarling at you, claws out and ready to rip your throat out not so long ago, shocked at how quickly he’s grown attached to you.
shocked at how quickly you’ve grown attached to him, too. then again, you’ve always been this way. you like to help people, and logan seems like a man who needs a lot of help.
“i was baking a pie, when i saw you,” you tell him, “how about we go finish that? you don’t have to leave my side. you can watch me and i’ll teach you all my secrets.”
and as you expected, he follows you into the kitchen, trailing after you like a lost puppy. normally, you hate having anyone else in the kitchen with you, getting in your way when you’re in the zone, but his presence is nice. he doesn’t speak, doesn’t distract you or get in your way, just stands and watches you intently.
you’re already used to having him here with you, comfortable enough to turn your back to him. it’s crazy, and a (big) part of you knows that this isn’t exactly a smart thing to do, but you’re already planning on letting him stay for as long as he needs, maybe even forever.
taglist: @mystiquesvendetta @raeinyourdreams
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