#i finally have the ability to take cute ass pics too >:3

[housecow]

so many more mirror pics incoming just so y’all know :3

[mxltifxnd0m]

heaven knows ❥ i. lahey

summary: social media/ college au with the pack [can be read as a non supernatural au, but its implied]

pairings: established isaac lahey x reader, isaac lahey x fem! reader

warnings: none really, no use of 'y/n', fluff, slice of life, some cursing

a/n: made this instead of my homework bc i wanted to make a smau for isaac :) also emmyparker is an oc based on my friend loll

reblog and comment! i love to see your thoughts on my fics (even if this isn’t technically a fic lol)

𝘪𝘴𝘢𝘢𝘤 𝘭𝘢𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘮𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘵

yourusername

liked by mccallmescott, emmyparker, and 2023 others

yourusername a lil photo dump of college so far ;P (not included: mental breakdowns)

tagged: kirakitsune, lyds.martin, silverallison, isaaclahey14 + 3 more

view all 823 comments

lyds.martin you wouldn't have the breakdowns if you didn't procrastinate ↳ yourusername you know what lydia stfu ↳ emmyparker @/yourusername shes not wrong ↳ yourusername WTH IS WITH THIS DOGPILING 😭😭

mccallmescott why do i have the feeling that your study sessions don't end up being study sessions ↳ yourusername what makes you think that scotty? ↳ kirakitsune @/mccallmescott they usually devolve into yap sessions ↳ silverallison SHHH kira!! they aren't supposed to know ↳ 24stiles is that why we aren't invited?? ↳ emmyparker that's a secret we'll never tell 🤫 xoxo gossip girl 😘 ↳ 24stiles 😐😑😐

* * *

lyds.martin

liked by stilesss, kirakitsune, and 1923 others

lyds.martin girls night in! 🥂

tagged: yourusername, emmyparker, silverallison, + 2 more

view all 1002 comments

yourusername wheres my pic creds 🤨 ↳ lyds.martin you're tagged, isn't that enough ↳ yourusername no 🥰 ↳ lyds.martin 🙄

24stiles i see my invite was lost in the mail ↳ emmyparker it can't be lost if it wasn't sent 😊 ↳ lyds.martin you weren't invited bc you aren't a girl, hence why it's called a girls night

silverallison we need to do this more often, it was so fun !! ↳ kirakitsune 100% agree, especially with finals kicking our asses rn 😭 ↳ lyds.martin heard, but @/yourusername has to host next time ↳ yourusername thanks for volunteering me lyds 🙃

* * *

24stiles

liked by yourusername, isaaclahey14, and 1120 others

24stiles boyz night 😤💪💯 (and theo is here too ig)

tagged: mccallmescott, isaaclahey14, liam.dunbar + 2 more

view all 782 comments

lyds.martin wow someone was bitter about us hanging out with out them ↳ 24stiles whatever do you mean? ↳ lyds.martin you're an idiot

yourusername i know damn well you didn't use my apartment as a fire hazard ↳ 24stiles ...its technically not just your apartment, it's isaac's... ↳ isaaclahey14 @/24stiles are you trying to get me killed?! ↳ yourusername @/24stiles @/isaaclahey14 stilinksi you're first on my list, lahey you'll be next ↳ 24stiles what about scott??? ↳ mccallmescott DUDE??

* * *

yourusername

liked by kirakitsune, silverallison, and 2009 others

yourusername love you wolf boy 🥰 🩵

tagged: isaaclahey14

view all 1014 comments

24stiles ew i didn't need to see this first thing in the morning ↳ yourusername you jealous i nabbed him in high school when you had the chance? ↳ 24stiles pffhh absolutely not, besides im in a happy relationship with em ↳ yourusername that's what you think :) ↳ 24stiles EM?? EXPLAIN NOW @/emmyparker

silverallison this is disgustingly cute ughh ↳ yourusername feel free to join us if you want ;) ↳ silverallison don't tempt a girl with a good time 😏

kirakitsune for research purposes, i need to know where isaac's shirt is from ↳ emmyparker same... for research purposes ↳ yourusername i sent you guys the link 🤭

isaaclahey14 love you lots babe ↳ yourusername love you more 🫶

* * *

isaaclahey14

liked by emmyparker, 24stiles, and 1923 others

isaaclahey14 love you sweetheart ❤️

tagged: yourusername

view all 863 comments

emmyparker wait are these candids of her actually good? ↳ issaclahey14 do you doubt my abilities? ↳ emmyparker yes 😁 also @/24stiles take notes ↳ 24stiles how do i keep getting attacked in posts that aren't even mine 😭

silverallison @/isaaclahey14 im gonna steal your girl ↳ isaaclahey i'd like to see you try ↳ yourusername guys noo don't fight over me (please do it does wonders for my ego) ↳ silverallison nevermind you can keep her

yourusername this is actually so cute, love you so much honey <33 ↳ isaaclahey14 i swear you always underestimate me ↳ yourusername aren’t you forgetting something 🤨 ↳ isaaclahey14 i love you too ❤️

[ninaahelvar]

Chivalry Fell On Its Sword (9/23)

Summary: All Arya wanted so to feel normal and go outside of the damn castle. Now, through a series of unfortunate, she’s stuck with a bodyguard that she accidentally flirted with: Gendry Waters.

AO3

A/N: what? two chapters in one week! well one is a joke chapter, we get productive. i'm only here for the laughs. xx and i did promise slam poetry so,.......

10:31pm - Arya: So, what youre saying is that you were awkward cause you could see through my blanket? 

10:32pm - Gendry: dude, your nipples were showing through it, it was a turn on and then because incredibly awkward when your fucking mum walked in.

10:32pm - Arya: and everything else?

10:32pm - Gendry: fucked up universe keeping us apart, sorry

10:33pm - Arya: awwww you’re so cute when you’re desperate 

10:33pm - Gendry: i don’t think you’re allowed to complain when you fucking yell at me in a hallway begging me for an answer for something i wasn’t intentionally doing 

10:33pm - Arya: i stand by my reaction 

10:33pm - Gendry: ok then 

10:33pm - Arya: alright 

10:35pm - Arya: soooooooooooooo

10:35pm - Arya: you still in the palace? 

10:37pm - Gendry: You’re seriously horny right now? 

10:37pm - Arya: aren’t you 

10:38pm - Gendry: literally always, but i’m still in my meeting 

10:38pm - Arya: i’ll send you nudes to keep your spirits up 

10:42pm - Gendry: pls for the love of the gods, don’t, cause my spirits won’t be the only thing that’s up 

Arya chew on her lip as she read over his name. His apology. His casual confession of love. And she beamed. 

10:43pm - Gendry: can i see you later? 

10:43pm - Arya: yes

~~~~

Bran wheeled up to the stage, a few stares and whispers as one of the wheels caught on the last step. In the end, the manager of the club and a few bystanders had to help him. It wasn’t embarrassing, just a little awkward to have three grown men fondling his chair and not him. 

He had invited Arya, who happened to bring along Gendry - funny how her security followed her absolutely everywhere, but Bran wasn’t. He thought it may have been some ableist crap, but when he saw Arya’s hand on his wrist as Bran edged towards the mic it was clear what the real reason was. Also the hickey on his neck was a dead give away. 

Bran cleared his throat and Arya and Gendry stopped speaking. The open mic night was his idea. Bran had worked up this plan for a while, knowing full well he could get away with it - but now he was here, and only confidence and determination ran through him. Chaos wheeling - if you will. He took a breath, then spoke into the mic. 

“I’m a theology major, I can take confession, even with this wheelchair condition. My legs stopped working when the car flipped, now it seems like I’m the one that’s dicked. I make light of the frame that holds me, even when it’s the thing that has made me lonely. I smile and wave, even when no one thinks I’m gay. The wheels tend to avert the eyes, even when I wanna talk to guys. I hear sympathy from women across the world, but I can still make your world whirl. I don’t wanna talk about how the chair feels or what kind of drink I want with my meal - I’m a grown ass man, a man that just can’t stand. I’m filled with love and wanting, and I’m a fun guy that deserves some flaunting. I’m a theology major, I can take confession. And yes, to answer your question, my dick does work, and I have a suggestion. Either mind your business, apologise for the transgression. Or date me, I can still fuck, no repression, in succession, with or without discretion.”

When everyone was roaring with laughter, and Bran was helped from the stage, he wheeled over to Arya and Gendry’s table. They were trying hard to catch their breaths, hands on the ribs as they tried to form sentences. 

“Your highness,” Gendry started before promptly bursting into laughter, patting Bran on the shoulder as he wheezed out another laugh.

“What the fuck was that?” 

“I wanted everyone to know that I still fuck.” 

The pair looked at each other before banging their hands on the table, the entire venue a stream of laughter. It made Bran happy. 

The next day, Robb texted the group an article. 

TO GROUP ‘The Ghost Fan Club (Jon fuck off)’ 

9:40am - Robb: “Prince Bran does the worst, most inappropriate poem at an open mic night”

9:40am - Robb: What the fuck did you do?

9:41am - Arya: 

9:41am - Rickon: YOU FUCKING DIDN’T!!!!

9:41am - Sansa: i thought you were joking! 

9:42am - Bran: I’m single, and the people deserve to know that my dick still works 

9:42am - Jon: He’s right

9:43am - Davos: PRINCE BRAN - YOU DID NOT SAY THIS IN FRONT OF PEOPLE 

9:43am - Arya: he said, and a quote ‘to answer your question, my dick does work’

9:44am - Davos: I might actually have a heart attack 

9:44am - Rickon: HE NEEDS SOME MILK

9:45am - Davos: i think this is it for today. I’m not angry, I’m just disappointed. 

9:46am - Rickon: press f in the chat for a fallen brother 

9:46am - Robb: oh...that’s cold davos 

9:47am - Sansa: this year we lost our dear brother bran

9:47am - Bran: quit telling everyone i’m dead 

9:48am - Sansa: sometimes i can still hear his voice 

*

The Memes of the Royalest Kind @TheRoyalMemeFamily: The family portrait for the Stark siblings is FINALLY out!

@TheRoyalMemeFamily: they are dressed in traditional Winterfell garments - only the royals now wear them. And they stink. 

RobbWinterfell: @TheRoyalMemeFamily how can this be a family portrait if i’m not there 

TheRoyalMemeFamily: @RobbWinterfell ohhhhh…..you must be that imposter king. We know you’re related to the actor Richard Madden

Sansa Stark of Winterfell @PrincessSansa: also, the only reason Arya likes wearing this outfit is cause hers comes with a sword

@TheRoyalMemeFamily: @PrincessSansa can confirm this outfit was made for a child

@AryaStark: @TheRoyalMemeFamily @PrincessSansa still as sharp as a real sword 

*

@wetbreadvevo: so...the fucking starks have been posting pics from their family photoshoot this entire time and no one has questioned it? What the fuck 

*

3:14pm - Jon: hey, mate, you know Richard Madden in gonna be at this event night, right 

3:15pm - Robb: fuck….are you serious? 

3:16pm - Jon: yep, saw the guest list last night 

3:17pm - Robb: *typing*

3:17pm - Jon: yes it’s too late to cancel 

3:17pm - Robb: fuck 

3:18pm - Robb: can we just avoid him the entire night? 

3:18pm - Jon: I mean sure but it’ll be a bit rude 

3:19pm - Robb: okay new plan, I’ll greet him at the event, but if you see anyone taking pictures, tackle them to the ground 

3:19pm - Robb: I don’t need the girls finding photographic evidence that I’ve met him

3:20pm - Jon: you know that I know you’ve met him before right 

3:20pm - Robb: yes...but the girls are gonna give me so much shit, especially if we look buddy-buddy in the photos

*

TO GROUP ‘The Ghost Fan Club (Jon fuck off)’ 

8:20am - Sansa: so

8:20am - Sansa: richard madden was at that even last night huh? 

8:20am - Sansa: the fuck robb 

8:21am - Robb: i’m very proud of my ability to ignore the man all evening 

8:22am - Jon: he hid behind a plant at one stage 

8:22am - Jon: yes, everyone noticed 

8:23am - Bran: who’s the idiot now

8:24am - Arya: still you 

8:25am - Bran:

*

The Memes of the Royalest Kind @TheRoyalMemeFamily: rare photo of Arya Stark growing up

*

TO GROUP ‘The Ghost Fan Club (Jon fuck off)’ 

2:11am - Bran: you guys 

2:11am - Bran: anyone awake 

2:12am - Arya: yes but i’m trying to sleep 

2:13am - Bran: too late now fucknuts

2:14am - Bran: you ever think about davos hears the message alerts for this chat and just kinda….dies inside? 

2:15am - Sansa: oh for sure 

2:16am - Jon: I’ve seen his eyes close and pray for it 

2:18am - Robb: once in a meeting, i swear i saw him almost throw his phone across the room cause you guys wouldn’t shut up and he doesn’t know how to mute his phone 

2:20am - Rickon:

2:25am - Davos: i think this is how you kids say it 

2:25am - Davos: mood

2:25am - Bran: DBIGIWEBGOUWR

2:25am - Arya: IUQWBIUBUIBUIBIUNOI

2:25am - Sansa: WTFFFFFFFFFFFF

2:25am - Jon: i’m fucking dreaming 

2:25am - Rickon: I CAN’T BREATHE 

2:25am - Robb: im

2:26am - Arya: WHAT IN THE WORLD IM LIVING 

2:26am - Davos: go to bed

*

The Memes of the Royalest Kind @TheRoyalMemeFamily: a queen can party 

@PrincessSansa: @TheRoyalMemeFamily we stan a legend

Mother of Dragons @QueenDany: @TheRoyalMemeFamily @PrincessSansa i seem to remember this was at least two bottles of wine in for you 

@PrincessSansa: @QueenDany @TheRoyalMemeFamily pretty sure you were 4, but who was counting 

*

@DailyMail: it’s highly inappropriate for a sitting monarch and other royal members to be out drinking and showcasing that online - read the article here 

@QueenDany: @DailyMail 

@PrincessSansa: @QueenDany @DailyMail 

*

The Memes of the Royalest Kind@TheRoyalMemeFamily:Royal bodyguard spotted yet AGAIN with a different model

@TheRoyalMemeFamily: who is he 

@PodrickPayne: @TheRoyalMemeFamily 

*

Arya ‘Not Today’ Stark @AryaStark:

@JonSnow: @AryaStark 👀

@PrincessSansa: @AryaStark 👀

@RealBranStark: @AryaStark 👀

@RickonStark: @AryaStark 👀

@RobbWinterfell: @AryaStark 👀

*

@RickonStark: 

@RickonStark: That’s it. That’s the tweet

*

8:29pm - Pod: so what youre saying is that i’m a chad? 

8:29pm - Sansa: no a himbo is necessarily a chad 

8:30pm - Pod: im more himbo than chad 

8:31pm - Sansa: you can be a chad if you’re not a himbo but you can’t be a himbo if you’re not a chad 

8:32pm - Gendry: you guys know this is the group chat right? 

8:33pm - Sansa: now gendry is a chad 

8:35pm - Gendry: low blow sansa

[theotherhalfoftheshell]

Spider Child Pt 3/final

The black widow did in fact buy spider man pajamas, and underwear and shoes even a spiderman doll, which she gave to Peter with the smuggest of grins, “You are adorable, and I will be taking so many pictures”

“This what I said!,” wade exclaimed looking through all the clothes Natasha had bought and deciding on the cutest pair of spidey pajamas.,”Come on Petey let's get dressed.”

“I'm doing it myself!” Wade turned to see Peter already wearing red pajama bottoms and trying to pull a black shirt over his head, “I'm not a baby.”

 “Oh Petey I beg to differ,” Wade said helping Peter put the shirt on correctly.

 When that was done Wade stepped back to see that he had found himself a tiny deadpool shirt amongst the pile of clothes and turned to gape at Natasha, “ I knew you would love it,” she said smugly snapping photos of peter on her phone.

“you are an angel,” Wade whispered wiping away a fake tear.

“Okay pizzas here! Tony called peeking his head into the living room where the mini fashion show was being held, “Friday please tell me you've been taking pics of this.”

“Of course, sir,” the A.I. replied

“food!” Peter exclaimed shooting out a web and running across the ceiling into the dining room.

  “hey! Get down from there!” Wade said chasing after him.

***

 Peter managed to drink an entire glass of chocolate milk and eat two slices of pizza before he stopped to breath.

“Hungry little spider,” Natasha cooed taking more pictures of his food cover face, “smile for me Petey?”

Peter looked up and grinned with a fist full of French fries in his mouth.

“I don't know about anybody else but this is giving me a major case a baby fever,” wade remarked gazing lovingly at the food covered child.

 “why are you wearing your mask wadey?” Peter ask after swallowing another fist of fries.

Wade sat back awkwardly, “ I uh, just don't want to offend anybody.”

Peter looked at him with his patented puppy dog eyes that had only gained power with each year Peters age regressed, “please pooly?”

 “Go ahead ‘pooly' none of us are going to deny him anything while he looks like that,” Tony chuckled.

Sighing wade removed his mask and Peter happily went back to eating.

"We are close to a breakthrough,” Wanda said walking into the dining room with billy, “ah, Wade you are back, I am sorry for turning your spider into a child but he was being and ass.”

 Wanda sat down grabbing a slice of pizza and pulled Billy down next to her, shoving a slice in his face, “ Eat.”

“No problem, I mean please turn him back cause no child should have these abilities, but also he's so fucking cute!” Wade squealed pinching one of Peter's cheeks. Peter in turn snapped at wade's finger, “ ah, no biting at the dinner table we don't know what you're venom is like in this tiny body.”

“He's venomous?” Billy asked sounding worried.

"Only slightly, just sever pain and paralysis for a couple hours when he bit me,” Wade said taking another bite of pizza, “why did he try to bite you?”

 “Yes P- spider man seems very mad at Billy for changing him, he tried to bite him befor he made his nest,” Steve said looking concerned.

“He's a stupid head,” Peter grumbled.

Wade tried to hold back his laughter at Peters scathing insult, “still Spidey venomous people shouldn't try to bite others, they don't even have the anti- venom you made, you don't really want to hurt Billy  do you?”

 “.....no,” Peter said sourly sticking his tongue out at Billy.

  “Good spidey, now what do you wanna do after dinner?”

“Let's go fight bad guys!” Peter said nearly jumping out of his chair.

  “Sorry baby boy, you're too little to go fight bad guys,” Wade laughed rustling Peters hair.

Peter shot Wade a dirty look, “Big enough to take on four avengers.”

Wade really didn't have a way to argue with that, thankfully the black widow was always two steps ahead.

“You do not have a suit young Spider, you can not fight without one. Why not watch movies instead?”

 Peter looked upset by her argument, but quickly cheered up when Cap told him he could pick the movie.

***

 It was dark out, Wade had no idea what time it was; Peter had fallen asleep hours ago covered in a chocolate sundae that Steve had bribed him with, still trying to proof kids loved him. The rest of the team had left after the second viewing of cars and many pictures of Peters antics. Wanda came into the room quietly with a book open in her hands.

 “Did you figure out how to fix him?,” Wade whispered.

“I hope so, there's no way we could raise Peter,” Wanda replied with a grin. “ It will take some time to work but he should be normal by morning.”

Wade nodded as Wanda started the incantation, soft red light fell on to peter causing  the boy to stir but he quickly went back to resting tucked closer into Wade's side.

“That's all I can do for now, goodnight we'll see if it worked tomorrow,” Wanda said with a wave walking towards the elevator.

  Wade got up carefully turning off the Tv, then carrying Peter to their room. He chuckled to himself while redressing Peter in one of his nightshirts he stole from Wade and trying to wipe some of the ice cream from his face. He then placed Peter in their bed tucking him in and gently kissing his forehead, “love ya, Petey.”

***

Peter woke up to his entire body hurting, like growth pains but is he really still growing at twenty-four? And where was Wade? And why was there ice cream or something in his hair?

Peter decided maybe coffee would help so he slipped on a pair of pajama bottoms and walked into the living area of his and Wades shared apartment at the Tower.

Wade was snoring softly on the couch, remote still in his hand, Peter really wanted to take a picture, but he honestly had no idea where his phone was. Where did he have it last? He was texting Wade before going to help Billy train, but then what? He couldn't remember anything after training, or how it even went; just a blast of sparks and a little bit of anger towards Billy…

  Peter plopped down next to Wade on the couch, abruptly waking the mercenary,” what? Wh- Oh! Baby you're back to normal!”

 “What happened yesterday? Back to normal? I don't understand?,” Peter said as Wade pulled him into a hug.

  “Don't worry Petey pie I'll fill you in on everything and I got plenty of pictures to back me up.”

[iammarylastar]

2. Husband and wife

*5 years earlier*

“Jack let me introduce you to Shade Johnson. Shade this is Jack McLane, your partner.” Chief McKay announced.

The new pair stared at each other from head to toe.

Interesting! He thought. Embarrassing! She pursed her lips.

“I work alone!” They both objected in unison.

What a good pair! McKay thought to himself. They already are on the same page.

“Sorry guys but we need you both this time. We have some jeopardized interests in Paris. A branch of the Calabrese’s mafia from New York threatens an operation of dismantling of weapons and drugs deal. Our contacts on the spot who have been working undercover for nearly a year just fucked up. They’re off. You will fly to Paris and keep an eye on what the fuck is going on down there and report your French counterpart. Nothing really hard. Sneaking in the clubs the Italians regularly attend, keeping a watch on the big shots and their whereabouts, noting down addresses and acquaintanceships, reporting to French competent authorities. Like a walk through a meadow for you both.”

Chief McKay stopped his speech and looked at his two recruits. The man seemed bored and the woman upset.

“I’m sure Mr. Action man could do this all by himself right? I’ll surely be more helpful in another place with something riskier to do than babysitting McLane.” She snapped.

“Oh! Mrs I-have-menstrual-cramps-30-days-a-month sounds grumpy. An all-expense-paid trip in Paris with nothing to do than hanging out and be on a stakeout, I’m in! I bet the little Frenchies are warmer than you, Icecube.”

“Fuck you McLane.” She glared at him. Motherfucker. Fucking blue eyes.

“Matter of time baby.” He winked at her. She’s sexy when she’s pissed off.

“I’m glad you would enjoy a mouthful of some frog’s legs Parisienne.” She smiled exaggeratedly. Bastard.

“Sounds tasty darling.” He licked his lower lip before he blowed a kiss to her. Partner.

“Stop this! You are official agents of the CIA and you’re on mission from now on. I’ll not allowed any complaints nor whining. If you have personal requests, please use the hierarchical ladder. Now, pack up and take your files. You could study them in the aircraft. Take off at 1:00 p.m.”

Both agents grabbed their files, mumbling purposely too loud some chosen love words to their forced partners.

“And fill your luggage with fancy clothes, you’re gonna spend time with Parisian’s ‘la crème de la crème’. Lucky you, the American taxpayers offer you a room in the most expensive Parisian hotel. Luxury ‘à la française’. You will reside in the Ritz, place Vendôme for the next 3 months.”

“Nice!” Shade mumbled. “High heels and diamonds necklace, my life.”

“Picky princess…” Jack whispered.

“Guys I warn you, however you need to fix it, you figure it out. Get ready to get along and share a suite and live together for awhile.”

“Together?” They startled at the same time.

“Hold on guys. We need you as a couple. You’re officially Mr. And Mrs. Sinclair. Congrats you lovebirds!”

Shade’s face crumbled in pieces, while Jack’s lightened up just a bit. One thing he got from his hated father was the ability to push the other’s button. He has inherited the sardonic one-liner skill, the itchy trigger finger John McLane senior was well known for.

“Now get out of here, I’m tired to see your faces.”

Jack walked gently Shade towards the door, he opened for her. Reaching out the hand he unsuccessfully placed in her lower back before being yanked at roughly, he bowed:

“After you, love”

“I’ll be sick!” She grumbled.

“And no hanky panky guys you’re on duty!” McKay shouted to the young couple, laughing out loud.

*

“Let ’s work on our love story honey.” Jack shifted in his seat, facing his temporary wife.

“Don’t call me that McLane.” She glared at him for the hundredth time since they had settled down in the airplane.

Jack had acted like a fucking gentleman, touchy, smooth and attentive at will. Though she found him pretty attractive, he was definitely not her type.

“I know your maiden name, date and City of birth, everything about your fake parents and big sister, where you were in High school and college but the file doesn’t mention private stuff like…” He paused and thought of what he wanted to know.

“Like what, McLane?” She roughly asked.

“First, my name, our name is Sinclair, and since we’ve been in love and married for…” he flipped through the pages of the file to check on the date.

��Supposed to be in love.” She snapped.

“OK hun. Supposed to be in love and happily married for 2 years, I think you could call me by my first name. Jack, remember? We’re stuck with each other for the next 3 months, and 'undercover’ means we have to build a good story, in case people ask for more details. Details make the story credible.”

She rolled her eyes and sighed loudly, giving up. “Well Jack. What do you want to know?”

“Favorite colour?” He tried.

“Who would give a fuck?” She snarled.

“Honey…” he begged.

“OK, OK. I’ll answer but stop calling me honey! Blue.” She said.

“Great! Favourite meal? ”

“Bo bun. Thaï food. ”

“Mmmm. Love Thaï food too. Hobbies? ”

“I like to read files and reports. I like study about weapons and close quarter combat. I run 5 miles every morning and work out at least one hour a day. I don’t hang out with mate, I hate shopping, I don’t drink alcohol nor smoke. Satisfied?” She taped a forced smile on her beautiful face.

“Well… Let’s say you like reading books and going to the gym. We’re heading to France, are you sure you don’t like wine? French have some stunning Grands Crus, it would be a crime not to taste them.” Burgondy fine wines were Jack’s weakness.

“No. Read my lips. No alcohol. No cigarette.”

“Jesus, I hope you have sex at least. Otherwise your life would sound… deadly boring.”

“Dont push my button McLane.”

“Ok I’m done. How did we meet?”

“Highschool. The common cliché. You were the most popular quarterback. I was cheer leader.” Shade said.

“Great. Our wedding?”

“Simple. You fell on your knee to propose to me during the Superbowl, broadcast live on the big screens, I said yes, jumping up and down like a hysterical teen. You offered me the engagement ring you paid with your first salary, I jumped into your arms, everyone was in tears. Big ceremony in a luxury hotel, wedding pic on the beach. You looked dapper in your three piece suit, I looked fabulous in my 20000$ spectacular wedding gown. First dance was “Fly me to the moon” by Frank Sinatra- barf- Champagne and huge cake you and I cut together. The pic is pinned in our living room.

“Sounds like real. Very romantic. Honeymoon?”

“Gosh! Paris or Hawaii. Whatever. My dear husband refused to leave the bed to go sightseeing.” She sighed.

“ Yeah, you worn me out. I love that part. That’s why we’re back in Paris. Romantic getaway to finally enjoy the City of Lights and Lovers.” Jack looked straight into Shade’s green eyes and went on.

“Do we want kids?” Jack abruptly asked.

“Why did you ask that question?”

“We’ve been married for two years. That’s the usual next step…” he wondered.

“I guess we wanted some, one day, but we’re actually busy with our careers.”

“Do you want kids?”

“I just answered, didn’t you hear?” Shade got upset.

“Nah, I mean you, the real Shade. Do you want children?” Jack sounded serious.

“That’s highly personal. But I feel like you’ll harass me until you got your answer so. .. No.”

“It’s a shame. I’m sure you’d make beautiful babies.”

“You sneaky bastard. You don’t end up as a CIA spy without serious family traumas, do you?” Shade smartly noted.

“Good call. My so called father has me choosing for this job. He was a cop. Married to his loyalty to the NYPD. Never at home for Xmas nor birthday cakes. Only seeing in me a lame juvenile delinquent, like I was a disappointing pain in his ass. Never want to be that kind of father for my own kids.”

“Do you still want kids? Your trauma is not as serious as mine. I win hands down McLane.” Shade smirked.

“Sorry to hear that Honey.” Jack grabbed her hand.

“Don’t call me Honey. I warn you.” She yanked at it in disgust.

“Fine. What would be our emergency code?” Each agent, each mission needed one.“

"Not Honey for sure…”

“Anything in mind?” Jack asked.

Shade sighed loudly, obviously bored by the game. “I figured out all our love story already. You chose. I don’t care.”

“Great I like this. Let’s say… Babe.” He tried.

“No way. Pick something else.”

“Mmmm. Have you ever own a pet? I’m sure you’re a dog person.” Jack guessed.

“Wrong. We were not that kind of happy perfect family with pets and smiles. Mostly punches and bruises.”

“Holy shit. You’re right, you win hands down. Worst childhood award. Any blankie or favorite teddy?” He went on.

“I had this koala bear my aunt sent me from Oz when I was born. He was fluffy and cute. He had little Boomerangs tied on his back. I named it Boo. He was my best friend. We were inseparable until my father threw it in the fire.”

“Boo. Suits you. That’s it. You’ll be my Boo.” Jack smiled.

“I totally hate it. That’s the most ridiculous pet name for a guy??? Let’s say…. you do look like Cupcake, what do you think?” She smirked.

“I’m a fan. I vote for it. Boo and Cupcake. Sounds like killer names for a dangerous mission. Exclusively reserved for emergency case.” Jack said, proud of his nice touch and of his ability to make Shade talk about herself. It punched his heart to figure out her as a little girl fighting with family issues but that’s what made her strong and bitchy. Which he liked a lot.

“Anything you wanna ask about me?” Jack was ready to let it all out for her.

“Only one. When are you going to shut up?” She snapped sarcastically.

Jack frowned and slammed his back on his seat. It was a long shot…

Jack suddenly shoved into his carry on and dug out a dark blue jewel box he was quick to open. Two wedding rings were lying on the velvet pillow, tied with a silky ribbon.

“I thought those ultimate details would make our romance real. I hope you’ll love the one I chose for you.”

Without asking for permission he freed the single diamond ring and put the ring on her finger. A weird twist tickled her stomach when he stared intensely at her, squeezing tenderly her left hand.

“For better or for worst, Boo. Happily ever after.”

“Oh, shut the fuck up McLane.” She snapped, uncomfortable. Why had he be that damn cute?

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