#i felt bad for her lowkey. im just a bit boring. i did say that tho! but i think it was just surprised that i was being honest

[zhuhongs]

im genuinely impressed with the progress I've made in such a short time since returning home from taiwan. 一年前的我 would honestly be so dumbfounded how all of this somehow happened all of a sudden. it feels like i finally put down something very heavy I've been carrying for decades unbeknownst to myself. perhaps this is what freedom feels like. Insane, genuinely insane.

[hatsukeii]

One where y/n has been obviously in love with Tsuki since they were kids and not afraid to show it, but he’s always been lowkey mean to her and thinks she’s annoying and then finally years later she decides he’s not a nice guy and let’s him know she’s fine with all that crap and then he realizes he’s falling for her and does something really sweet for her and they fall in love? 😭😭🥺👉🏻👈🏻 ty in advance. Sorry if this is too long or specific, if it is, feel free to ignore

I genuinely hope you didn’t think I would actually ignore this<33

IM SORRY IM A MASTER PROCRASTINATOR ILY ALL AND YOU ALL DESERVE AN APOLOGY FROM ME

Dear diary//Tsukishima Kei x Reader

Word Count: 1.4k+

Warnings: Cursing

Genre: Angst??? I guess???

Summary: He’s an ass, but you still love him to bits, and it’s killing you.

July 16, 2008

Dear Diary,

I got to play with Tsukki again! He had his dino with him, it was super cute! He told me his front teeth came off last night, and there’s a big hole in his teeth, but it’s okay, because he said it will grow back. I tried to hold his hand while going down the twin slides but he said it was sweaty, so next time I’ll wear gloves!

You flip through the hot pink diary, cringing at your young infatuation. Your diary entries were cringey as fuck, but they always rekindle something within you whenever you read them. You can’t even remember when you stopped writing in the book. Was it when you turned 10? Maybe 12? You don’t have a single clue.

April 30, 2011

Dear Diary,

Tsukki refused to marry me in the playground at break:(( I’ve known him for so long though, aren’t we supposed to get married? I just wanna hold his hand and hug him and give him a biiiiig kiss<33

Chuckling at the memory, you recalled the event from that entry clearly. You were seven years old only, still an immature kid. You still thought that getting married in a middle school playground was a huge milestone in life, almost as crucial as a legal marriage.

May 29, 2016

Dear Diary,

Love how Tsukki didn’t even remember my birthday:,) Must be nice getting made fun of. Half the students in my class felt my second hand embarrassment from when he completely forgot about it. God, why am I even in love with this asshole? I’m gonna have to go to school tomorrow and deal with all my classmates making fun of me for being hopeless. Brb, currently digging a hole for myself:)

Frowning at the memory, you think back to when you were twelve. He was an asshole then, still is an asshole to this day. And yet not an ounce of your unconditional love and support for him has faded. Grabbing a tissue, you wipe the remaining tears from your eyes, ignoring the dried tear stains on your cheek. Your hand slams onto the bedside table, lazily feeling for your phone. Tilting it towards your face, you sigh at the empty lock screen, accepting defeat. Flicking through the rest of the book, you are welcomed by pages and pages of white. “So that’s when I gave up on this diary...” you mutter to yourself as you lift yourself up from your bed. Heading towards your desk, you absentmindedly grab yourself a pen, notebook in hand. Slamming the diary down, you open it up to the next entry page after your last one, gently placing the tip of your pen on the first line. You grab your hair out of frustration, the ink bleeding into the thin paper. “What to do, what to do...?” You mumble, starting to form sentences in your notebook.

July 17, 2020

Dear Diary,

It’s been a while hasn’t it? Holy shit, all my entries were about Tsukki weren’t they? Jesus, of course they were. At least I was able to get it off my chest this afternoon. Telling him that I’ve been in love with him for years, that was fucking terrifying. Telling him that although I know he’s an ass, an animatronic dick complete with ballsack, that won’t stop me from falling harder, it was gut wrenching, but also relieving to a certain degree. I’m still waiting for some form of response, although I’m not sure I’m gonna get one anytime soon. I can’t decide whether telling him was the dumbest or bravest decision I’ve made. Maybe it was both. Just wait until I look back on this entry like a decade later and still cry about it lmao. Tbh he’s a genuinely nice person at heart. I know that all too well. He may be an ass most the time, and he may think I’m annoying, but despite how hard he tries to push me away, I’ll never abandon him. Jesus Christ, I sound like a yandere here, but it’s not that. It’s that I care for him a lot. Maybe even a bit too much. It’s ridiculous how absolute and utter shit a crush can make you feel.

Throwing the pen down, you flop back onto your bed, huffing into the thick blankets. You stay silent, not sure of what to think of the situation. “I’ll just deal with it all tomorrow, I’m tired of this shit.”

On the other side of the incident, Tsukishima is currently going through a mental crisis.

The blond sits at his desk, eyes unwavering, but focusing on nothing. It feels as if he hasn’t blinked in what seemed to be hours. Just hours of staring at his wall that led to nothing. Your confession plays in his head nonstop, like a broken record that refused to run out of battery.

“The thing is I like you. I’m pretty sure I always have. And I know that you’re such an asshole and all that, you won’t treat me as well as people would expect, but it’s fine. I’m fine with all that. All the dumb, stupid, careless insults you’ll throw at me, the side eyes and sneers, telling me to shut up and go away, I’m fine with it. I know you’re a good person, and that’s all that matters to me.”

“Well shit what the fuck do you want me to say?”

Maybe he shouldn’t have said that.

Maybe he should have let you down slowly.

But as he stares at his wall, the photos of the two of you framed and balanced on his floating shelves, he starts to reconsider his feelings.

The way your expression faltered then as you hastily took your bag and rushed away without a single word, the way you avoided him in the halls, the way you stopped talking to him throughout the day, it drove him crazy. He couldn’t handle the realisation that he hurt you so incredibly badly, so now all he can do is stare at his empty, blank wall. Did he know why he felt that way? No. He didn’t and still doesn’t. He’s Tsukishima fucking Kei, the emotionless, provoking, unlikeable king, yet a mere girl is somehow able to mess with his mind so badly, that all he can do is wallow in regret and confusion? What is this weird feeling? His throat itches, his heart is beating like crazy, sweat starting to gather around his temples. He clamps his two hands together, slamming his forehead onto them and squeezing his eyes shut.

How could I have been so dense?

How was he unable to see that you were absolutely in love with him? Even with the bento boxes, birthday gifts, constant compliments, he still only ever thought you liked him as a friend. However he never did. He likes you more than that. Way more. Yes, he thought, and still thinks you can be annoying at times, especially when you nag at him about not eating enough or being rude, but it was undeniable that there was something else he felt. But his stupid ass shitty ego would never let him admit it. And now that you finally confessed, he freaked out and fucked up. Even then, he didn’t think it would affect him to this extent.

“It was a stupid middle school crush, I’m over you (Y/N).”

He says that over and over again, desperate to cloud out the disagreeing thoughts in his head that scream otherwise.

“It was a stupid middle school crush, I’m over you.”

“It was a stupid middle school crush, I’m over you.”

“It was a stupid middle school crush, I’m over you.”

The guilt didn’t go away.

In fact, now that he’s said all that, he feels even worse. Oh how much he wants to find you right this second, wrap you in his arms, tell you how incredibly sorry he is, but he can’t. He doesn’t deserve to do that. His heart is begging for him to just get out of the house and run to yours as fast as he could, but his body won’t move. He wants to cry. Scream. Shout. Throw something. Shatter something. But most of all, he wants to get another chance.

Picking up his phone, he hesitates, before typing in your contact, the cleared out, empty chatroom showing up on his screen. Going as fast as his fingers could, he typed out the one sentence he’s been dying to let out.

“It was a middle school crush, but I’m still into you. I always have been.”

Is it just me, or is this bad-

Idk man it seems like all my fics are pretty much the same and I hate it😌

Tags:

@sunshines-and-tatertots @izzyphantomgamer @justachillgirl @trashcanweeb @just-another-bored-writer @poppirocks @majorfangirl37 @kaylacinderella @random-fandomlover @tiger1719 @tiredgr3mlin @itmekisuu @skyeackermans @talks-a-lot-of-stuff @shoutsukii @agentvicinity @sakusasgarbage @kuroo-thought-of-a-better-un @sneezefiction @bokutokoutarou @thirstyvolleyballhoe @iwaixiumi @iwaigroomi @inlwlevi

Feel free to comment or pm to be added to taglist!

I’m back to writing lmao I’m bored in two week quarantine rn

Edit: cue me realising I was half asleep and missed something in the request don’t be surprised if I repost this💀💀💀💀

Btw the hq manga just ended time to cry

💕💕💕💕

[0tivez]

im a sucker for dad!everyone and I have no idea why

okay so tokyo revengers spoilers below

---------

when akkun jumped off the roof in like episode 4?? (I found a way to not say the word LMFAO) the sound the put when he makes contact with the ground is the sound a box filled with books makes when thrown off a window and it reminded me of the bread video bc its such a dry sound why would they do that

Literally just for the hot guys someone send help-

I wanna say thats kinda a meet cute and lowkey adorable that he mentioned meeting up but 'remind me and we'll arrange it' sounds like a business transaction im so sorry ✋ if you feel comfortable sharing the long story im all ears!! I love long stories 👀 feel free to go off topic more often I well I always do that anyway 😭

OKAY oh boy, where do I start. Its literally so simple to explain but im dramatic as fuck so let me indulge myself ANYWAY so basically we were talking through chat, we spent almost everyday talking and it was sweet and funny and stuff, ya know?? or maybe I was convincing myself he was lol so it was just a normal day after school and we were talking and I think at some point he got boring of just texting so he said "give me a sec im gonna go play with a flamethrower" mid convo and I think something inside of me died. kinda glad he gave me the ick tho, I don't think I liked him that much :/

much hatred for the "I watch real shows lol" >:( specially bc all of the people saying that watched dragon ball or pokemon 😭 when I was younger I usually responded like "haha yeah...ig :,)" but now im ready to smack a bitch; you know what they say, violence isn't the question its the answer 😌

You're gonna make me have a soft spot for eremika TT it sounds very bittersweet when you explain it, but it does make sense why romance wasn't a main plot (I dunno if this is the correct way to say it). AND JEAN! he grew on me so yes, he definitely deserves to be first choice>>>

I think im gonna watch the anime after it finished airing or something. I always say im gonna do so many things but then I get distracted by fanfics lol watch me scream

Aki and Megumi found family trope??? 👀 this is making me think of hurt/comfort followed by pure angst, hurt/no-comfort huh :)

KANEKI??? HE VOICES KANEKI???? I loved watching Tokyo ghoul (I watched two seasons!) :( I had the softest spot for Kaneki but I refused to accept it bc I was scared were gonna make fun of me LMFAO I did have a massive crush on Hide tho, and was very vocal about that lol

I remember watching a gif set of baby tanjiro and my heart melted; same thing with Yuuji I think

Hollywood only thinks of making money over hiring good vas and like random celebrities voicing characters isn't bad ig?? like quality wise, the movie is watchable and entertaining, but still I'd like to see vas recognised for their talent a lot more.

Chris pratt *massive sigh* I heard the only reason why he was taking so many va gigs was bc he didn't get the vaccine so he couldn't go to work or smth; I could be wrong tho.

wait, which dub were you talking about?? the jjk dub??

NO.

NOT GOJOGUMI OR WHATEVER IS CALLED 😭 why?? why with the kids?? 😭

ive seen monstrosities on ao3, I could name them but huh...

Gege I a sadist and I refuse to think to think otherwise LMFAO I little part of me thinks that he might see himself in gojo a bit too much and thats why he doesn't like him lmfao

I think my brain blocked the opinion bc I cant remember?? I think they talked about how the hidden inventory arc made no sense bc apparently gojo is constantly jumping dimensions or something?? and like fair ig bc I know shit about this series but?? I was so confused, I think it just short circuited. Its that a take on his character?? I think I worded it wrong now that I think about it, I love her so much she's the best of the best but I felt attacked, and thats on me 😔 she also hasn't read the manga so we're Ig in even common ground lol

YOU WILL GET IN!!! It sounds so fun :D im sending you as much positive vibes as I can <3 disabilities law sounds interesting! do you have any idea what you'd like to specialise in the future??

I'll be on the lookout for the honorary dilf 😌

right?? wtf 😭 ive only seen college aus in which the pairing is like teacher/student with nanami and like I don't mind but I want my student/student college aus LET ME INDULGE 😤 thanks for hyping me up :,) its gonna be more fluffy+suggestive id say?? def not angst bc I cant write angst for nanami; Shibuya already did that for me lmfao

tho if im honest, I think im stuck bc I keep comparing every sentence to the gojo fic I uploaded lmfao

<making you blush3

sending wet slurpy kisses right back 😌💕

I hope you have a good week! and sorry for the late reply, I was stuck using Tumblr mobile for a while 😅

OH AND IM WATCHING THE JJK MOVIE ON THURSDAY 🥳 think Im gonna put mascara solely on my lower lashes just bc 🤷‍♀️ I hope the song at the end doesn't hurt me too much tho lmfao it will

-🥳 anon

ps: I probably should've put this at the beginning but I feel like this wasn't the best response?? like I feel like the energy in my ask is a little down, and I think it might've been a bit venty as well?? I don't now if you can feel it TT I felt a bit like a poser after I finished writing this and I'm sorry if anything I wrote came off wrong :,)

STOP APOLOGISING

anyways lol there is a long ass story about a guy i liked in hs under the cut 👀 it's really long tina i'm so sorry 😭

OHH OKAY LMAOOOO YEAH HE JUST WENT plop

LMAOO YEAH that's what i thought too 😭 my friends got the ick when he said that

okay so!!

i met this dude in 10th grade and he was a senior (12th grade here). we had this jukebox kinda thing in the backyard of our school and we got the keys for it that year, which meant that we could play songs for everyone to hear during lunch breaks. so, that week, i went to watch bohemian rhapsody and OBVIOUSLY had queen brainrot and i was OBSESSED with killer queen. my phone had died so i had left it in my classroom. my friends weren't very fun, they all were doing their homeworks etc etc and i was just sooo bored. anyways, at the last 10 minutes or something, there were only like 4 of us left. my friends were begging to go upstairs and we almost did lol this group of older students came, which meant that they would annoy us and beg us to let them play something shitty (not in genre, they would purposefully open popular shitty songs- it's hard to explain lol it's kind of a turkish thing) so we were like okay :/

i was talking to my friend, this dude started playing killer queen LMAOO i looked at him and smiled, i was like "i love this song!" idk man i used to be so shy but something in my brain flipped off wlsakmdasmwed he looked straight into my eyes and was like "you know queen?" i said "yeah! i love them! i've been dying to play this song but my phone is dead" and he just looked at my eyes like 🧿👄🧿 his eyes were really pretty 😭 i went back to talking with my friends anyways the class was about to start, so we got up and packed. i was soooo nervous lmaoo i didn't even look at him LKMWALKDSMASWED IT GETS WORSE LATER HOLD ON he called behind me and asked which class i was in, NOT MY NAME anyways i told him and waved. my friend was teaaasinggggg me but i shook it off

i started gathering info about the dude. i found his class and stuff, nothing more. idk who sent follow request on instagram first, it was probably me lmaoo but turns out, he's pretty popular! everyone knows him too. i would sometimes share songs on my story and he would always respond. he asked me if i liked david bowie and i said never really listened to him so he shared his bowie playlist! anyways this went on. i would see him in the school garden lol i wouldn't say hi, because we never really met you know? this is a huge problem of mine lkwmsads people think i hate them or something to this day, i'm just too shy what if they don't recognize me NAYWAYS

i thought about the pros and cons. turns out, this dude was living in the dorms (our high school was the best in our city so people from other towns would live in dorms) which meant that he wasn't even from my city? he was also a senior so he probably wouldn't like to be involved with those kind of stuff so i didn't really bother. it was fun tho! so, the day before his uni entrance exam was our last day of school, so the teachers arranged this party stuff with cakes and shit (also! i found out that he was a pretty successful student and would score high on his tests klmsewdlmef this is kinda important cause i like academically successful people 😭my sapiosexuality only works that way) i built up the courage to go wish him well on his test. i could never get him alone, and since my friends didn't know we used to talk occasionally, i left. i waited to make eye contact with him, but i guess it was his time to avoid me. so, i sent my wishes that night, thinking he wouldn't respond. he did, like 2 minutes after i sent the message. he said "we never really got time to get to know each other" GOD I REMEMBER THIS NOW EKSAMDCDLSW i don't remember what i said, i remember i felt kinda embarrassed cause it felt too, out there obvious. it hit me then, that i would never see him again. NOT. we'll get to that >:) i felt sad, i liked having a lil crush. that lil heart skip. i'm not really sure if it WAS a crush, but it definitely was something. oh, he also added me to his close friends like the moment we started following each other and i did the same. WAIT FUCK kKLMWSADLKASEWF HE LOVED DONNIE DARKO??? WHICH IS MY FAVORITE FILM??? I HAVE AN ORIGINAL POSTER IN MY ROOM???????? WHAT THE FUCK???? anwyays i watched pulp fiction for him 😌 it was a win win. oh right, i was sad so i chugged down a whole beer, which was a lot for 16 year old me who went out with her parents lmaooo i was like "pour another one, we're drinking tonight" and they only let me drink 1 💀

what's crazy is

i used to be a scout right? we went to this camp. i got bored, and decided to check if he had a facebook 💀 he didn't, so i was like damn.

2 DAYS LATER HE POSTS A NEW FACEBOOK ACCOUNT ON HIS IG STORIES???? WHAT THE FUCK??? i ran laps i screamed i cried anyways i went to send him a friend request, he already sent me one. cool! i was 14 on my profile picture 💀 thankfully i had deleted everything ages ago

all summer, nothing. NO! results come in, HE'S 1ST IN OUR SCHOOL?? LIKE HE SCORED AN UNGODLY SCORE?? i was like holy shit he went to one of the best, if not the best, uni in our country

so, fast forward 11 grade, first day of school. we were talking in our class (our classes got mixed that year) dude walks in to greet our teacher with his friend and starts talking about the exam and shit. no eye contact? alright whatever lol. 2 or so months later, we go on a trip to visit the unis in that city and his uni is a famous student attraction. he has close friends from his dorm too, so he jumps in on our bus. it was raining so much so we had to stay inside the bus. anyways, we go down, no eye contact still. klsmwadslakwme whatever i say it really is time to stop thinking about him. he vanished off the surface of earth not too long after too lmaoo anyways he probably had a girlfriend back then. so, early pandemic, he deleted his twitter and stopped posting on ig and i hadn't even thought about him at all

he posted a pic on his story... uh,,, october this year? idk at least i knew he was still alive 💀

we went to ikea with my friends one day and got in the wrong bus, ended up in the most ridiculous place so i posted a selfie of us and added it in my close friends (mind that i post from new years to new years) and he responded! he said "you're in this city and didn't invite me?" and i jokingly responded with something. this was late at night, i didn't see him respond and went to bed. i woke up at 9 am and saw that he said "oh btw congrats on your uni! turns out we are really close (our unis are super super close), so we can sit down sometime if you'd like to" and i thought i should respond when im fully awake and went back to sleep. i woke up at 12 pm with my brain mushy and responded with some cringy fucking joke and just liked the message he talked about sitting down. he liked my respond. we were gonna go to a concert that night. i started getting ready, didn't think much of the message. as i was plucking my eyebrows, it occured to me, how DUMB i was. how much of an IDIOT i was. i texted my friends "i did something horrible". i got ready and hopped on the bus, thought about it the whole ride. i got out, met with my friends and told them, HOPING they would at least support me a lil. the first thing they say? "zee, you're such a fucking idiot" i was like "I KNOW" anyways it went on a little more. i said "if i drink enough tonight, i will text him"

2 beers in, mid concert, i sent him a message. "you know, i double tapped it or smth like that but i would really love to meet" sent it, pushed my phone in my pocket. 5 minutes in, i see a notification saying "we only talked on ig" CHILLS MAN I THOUGHT HOLY SHIT THIS DUDE IS SAYING wtf we only talked here KMDSLWKMSDWLKFR FUCKING IPHONE i opened it and he said "same! we only talked on here right? never met face to face" "yeah, guess it was meant to be in this city" "haha yeah. remind me of it and we'll plan something" "sure :)"

this was it omg this shit is so long for no reason, sorry for this lmaooo he's really pretty too lkwsmdaxlsamdwecf i can't i will probably never remind him lol

oh shit wait

my hs friend who goes to the same uni as me, when i told her about my past with the dude, she said she hated the guy bc he ghosted one of her friends. like, he wouldn't wave at her, respond to her texts and stuff. he didn't do any of that with me, so i'm wondering if he liked how i wouldn't really acknowledge him irl lol

yeah that was it lol

flamethrower?? yeah bestie you dodged a bullet there

that dude was also a huge naruto fan. like, he would sometimes wear that bandana and i was like "hmmm okay" i became a weeb literally one year after that 😭 karma is a bitch, death note is bitchier

kaneki was HOT. i liked it when he got violent >:) i could never warm up to tokyo ghoul and keep forgetting that i watched it lol. kaneki was hot tho. i want to read the manga so much, sui ishida is a legend

LKEMWSADCFLKWSDMF NOT THE VACCINE THAT WOULD MAKE SENSE THOO

dubs in general i guess? jjk dub is pretty meh imo. i liked the part where yuji calls nobara a bitch tho

i don't like the so clearly american accent in anime dubs, you know? the way they overdramatise the voices gives me the icks. thats why i loved the death note dub! it was so on point, no unnecessary dramatic moments, following the steps of the original vas. also light's monologue was sick, l's voice was sicker

wait, how does your friend find it bad if they haven't read the manga yet?

aah i didn't get in lol i didn't really expect to be picked anyways so it's cool. thanks for the vibes tho <3

i haven't picked anything yet, i still have very little law knowledge. i've always wanted to be a criminal lawyer (like higuruma hehe) but it looks like i would be more successful (money wise) in private law branches. i also don't know if i want to be connected to the government in any way. fuck the government. i probably wouldn't be picked too lol i'm super marginal for their conservative views. i would LOVE to be a da or prosecutor in usa, like new york lol i watched too much law and order. but yeah, for now, i'm focusing on exploring and seeking out anything involving foreign countries. i would love to study abroad for a master's degree too

ooh hell yeah! go for it!

i was writing the vibrator fic with nanami and realized how LITTLE fics with nanami eating reader out exists lmaoo sorry for the sudden nsfw topic but it was so weird! i don't think i've read it outside of fics specifically for eating out???

WATCH IT FOR ME TOO >:'''''')))) HOW WAS IT DON'T TELL ME BUT TELL ME HOW WAS IT??? HOW HOT WAS GETO

LOVE YOUUUU HAVE A GREAT WEEK <3 <3

[fmdrohan]

hello, hi ! 👋🏽  i hope this introduction post finds everyone well. ♡ i’m no one new to these parts, but for those of you who don’t know me, you can call me alé. i’m 21+, use he/him pronouns, and i’m the current typist for aria’s main vocalist, nina seo, & now, i’m bringing you all yet another muse. so, without further delay, i’d love to introduce you to brand-new creation of mine called 𝖞𝖔𝖔 𝖗𝖔𝖍𝖆𝖓. he is knight’s main dancer, sub vocalist, and rapper, as well as their currently marketed “sexy” member. outside of his career, he’s honestly just one big douche-bag skater kid that seeks cheap thrills, and who wants to do nothing more than put a smile on your face... even if causes him trouble sometimes. more info about him is below the cut, so please like this to plot ! ♡ tumblr im’s or discord by request.✨ 

𝖍𝖎𝖘𝖙𝖔𝖗𝖞.

born in seoul, south korea, to a working class, christian family.

mom was a manager at a local restaurant, dad worked at a law firm.

both of them were busy all the time; they lived paycheck-to-paycheck.

he didn’t get much attention at home, so he sought it out at school.

there, he was known as a a huge “class clown” or “class daredevil.”

all he wanted was to put smiles on people’s faces and push limits.

did he end up in the principal’s office a lot? YES, that was his “brand.”

as he got older, his class clownery turned to pranks and thrill-seeking.

he also became HELLA interested in skateboarding and parkour lmao.

rohan felt as if he wasn’t living if he wasn’t on constantly on the edge.

he’s broken a few bones, endured tons of scrapes, but never gives in

this, obviously, didn’t please his mother and father... they were just busy.

too busy to reprimand him and care—rohan got away with a loooot of shit.

he didn’t start receiving discipline until he was scouted by bc entertainment.

despite his messy hair, distinct style, and overall vibe, he fit the bill somehow.

the two years he spent in practice changed him a little as a person; for better.

he found a new love in dancing, and he was naturally pretty great at it tbh.

his background made him extremely coordinated, flexible, and really strong.

his fearlessness made him bold enough to try out new moves or stunts.

two years later, he débuted as a main dancer and kept his impulses at bay.

this isn’t exactly what he saw himself doing in life, but he wasn’t mad at it.

over time, his image began to shift into sexier and “stud-lier” territory.

his outfits became more revealing and he was treated differently in public.

this... fucks him up a lot because it’s the exact opposite of how he is.

he’s just some skater / parkour punk that gives off dumb big bro vibes.

how on earth do they expect him to be portray and convey sexy 24/7?

as this is more of a “job” to him than passion, he does what they tell him to.

so long as his checks get signed and he accumulates wealth, he’s good.

𝖕𝖊𝖗𝖘𝖔𝖓𝖆𝖑𝖎𝖙𝖞.

as mentioned above, rohan gives off very douchey “big brother” vibes.

he’ll pick on you, tease you, pull pranks on you, etc. all in the name of fun.

he’ll go too far sometimes, and he’ll feel bad, but has “no regrets.” 😎  lol.

lowkey loooves anime and draws his own bad sketches; also into sci-fi.

underneath the dumb, douchebag exterior is just a big ol’ nerd, that’s all.

if you’re a cute guy, he’ll DEFINITELY flirt with you—taken or not taken lol.

he’s someone that hasn’t really let being an idol ruin his personal life tbh??

he still does whatever the fuck he wants within the constraints of his contract.

though, whenever he gets “bored,” he does things he’s not supposed to.

bc entertainment’s warned him of being careful not to injure himself, but...

i don’t really think he cares at this point in his career; he likes more freedom.

little random, but he loooves underground / indie rock music and rap, too.

one of those assholes that doesn’t really listen to any other idol music lmao.

to be fair though, he’s not really a massive fan of knight’s music either. 😁

he just sings or raps whatever they tell him to and rolls with the punches.

lowkey wants to take up tattooing and graffiti at some point, he’s that guy.

loooves to talk and meet new people, even if they find him a li’l annoying.

whenever he’s stressed, angry, upset, hungry... he shows it with aggression.

it’s never gotten intense much, but he’s not much of a sensitive “crier” yk.

there’s more of him for me to discover as time goes on, so that’s it for rn!

𝖕𝖑𝖔𝖙-𝖑𝖎𝖓𝖊𝖘.

no plots page yet, sry :/// i’ve been a little busy this week rip.

some ideas will be below though so lmk if they appeal to you!

one, he’s definitely known to ghost people, so... maybe your muse is one of ‘em? like, this would be locked to males in the lgbt community, but you know. give him some really awkward encounters to make him feel like shit for ditching you after tons of sweet talk. sad thing is, he’s aware of it, and it’s mostly because of his schedule, but also ??? he’s just having fun, you know. he doesn’t wanna get tied down to anything right now.

two, maybe that ONE GIRL he tried to fuck with at the beginning of his career. while he knows he’s always been attracted to men, i think he would’ve convinced himself to at least try it out with a woman to make sure he wasn’t also interested in them, too. he’s a MASSIVE flirt and sweet talker, definitely made her feel special, but like... it never really went anywhere because... he just wasn’t into it, but didn’t wanna make her mad lmao. clearly ended up in a break-up and it could be both an ugly or pretty ending imo idk.

three, i’d DIE if other muses in famed were super into skating, or anime, or really any of his interests, too, and they’ve formed a “club” of sorts? just your local band o’ dirtbags who get together and fuck shit up a little bit here and there. i feel like this could be open to anyone who shares any of his interests tbh ??? maybe closer to his age is preferred, but honestly, i’m here to discuss whatever! i’m all for compromises and shit tbh.

four, maybe someone’s he’s lowkey seeing ( male, male-presenting lock ) that he’s really vibing with, but he just can’t... feasibly reason why he should have a bf right now. he’s got a lot going on, so he’s kind of a flake, but at the same time, he doesn’t intend to be an asshole to them. they’re maybe one of the only people he’s “softer” with. can end up romantic or platonic depending on how they handle it together, me thinks!

five, a dance partner or two would be pretty cool tbh! he’s not a dancer first, so he likes to dance with other people who are passionate about it to learn from ‘em. he can handle his own with choreography, but doesn’t have his own distinct style, so he’d really appreciate all the help he can get in becoming better ig? all in the name of work!

six, maybe a person who fucking HAAAATES him because they find him really annoying and super douchey, so they just... avoid him at all costs. however, he kinda picks up on the fact that they avoid him, so he pesters them even worse, which doesn’t end well... ever. this is definitely more open to anyone tbh and we can plan as we go!

seven, flipside where it’s someone that he CAN’T stand because he finds them really persnickety, snobby, and rude as fuck. if there’s one thing he hates A LOT, it’s bratty rich kids with silver spoons in their mouths. like, if this was a “the outsiders” verse, he’d be a greaser 1000000%, not a soc. lmao. he’d butt-heads with this person a fuck-ton.

eight, however many guys wanna piece of him, he’s happy to have a catalogue of fwb’s he calls on. he’s definitely not someone who says no to a good time, and he can act like a perfect boyfriend if that’s what you want. sadly, this’ll always be a temporary game. any of these fwb’s can go in many directions and can be plotted out individually!

nine, the age old question... “who’s your ideal type?” under pressure, he said you as a joke ( because of this, it could be male or female ) and now, fans of your respective groups ship you two together all the time. it’s a little awkward, and you two haven’t really talked about it much, but here you are... at a shared event sitting next to each other. how do you handle it? what do you do? is it awkward or all in good fun?

ten, someone who kinda hates that he doesn’t really take being an “idol” all the serious. he’s got a lot of shit on his bucket list he wants to do and he doesn’t let fame fuck with that, so he’s careless. he didn’t go into this business because of passion, it’s just where he ended up. your muse doesn’t like that, and thinks people like him are lazy as fuck.

[millllennia]

I HAVE FINISHED ACOSF

thank you guys for dealing with my spam live blogging these last few days. the one friend of mine that reads didn’t get her copy until today so i had no one to scream at 

overall, I’m giving this book a 4/5 stars. I was surprised at how much I liked it. I do have some issues with it (and SJM, as per usual) but I am happy that I read it and I’m thrilled to see that she is improving on some things. slowly. not quick enough. 

detailed review below the cut

starting with the things I didn’t like about it because there aren’t very many:

i have my usual qualms with SJM. those haven’t changed. but there wasn’t a “killing calm” and the boob talk was limited to the first half (mostly) of the book which I appreciated. there was still no gays. every single one of the priestesses that got described was described at pale. her diversity isn’t any better and she needs to be aware and listen to her fans. 

I wish we’d gotten more of cassian’s perspective in the first little bit (like first hundred pages). it felt like that dragged a bit, which might have been a style choice because that’s where Nesta was at mentally, but I didn’t love it. 

There wasn’t enough Mor. making a character come out and then promptly sending her off to a foreign land is lazy and pandering. also one of Nesta and Mor’s only interactions being Nesta getting weirdly jealous for no reason was gross and uncalled for and no. if Nesta believed that she didn’t deserve cassian, she should be happy that he has another woman in his arms and punish herself with the image. that’s how that motivation base works. you don’t just get jealous weirdly one time and then never have it come up again. 

I fundamentally do not believe that SJM is going to kill any member of the court permanently, so the whole storyline about Feyre and Rhys and Nxy and everything fell flat. Rhys is SJM’s favourite and Feyre is her self insert and I just don’t think that she’s going to kill them. Not that I want them to die because I don’t (even though I don’t like Feyre, I think she does bring something to the story) but I just wish that I felt the stakes and that SJM would kill some people. 

NOW FOR THE THINGS I DID LIKE BECAUSE I AM SURPRISED THAT THERE ARE A LOT OF THESE

sjm needs to stay in new adult fantasy. her smut is SO MUCH BETTER when she doesn’t need to come up with creative ways to say dick. also she can have actual smut dialogue so it isn’t just hanging dialogue tags without the filthy talk attached that sound awkward and animalistic and it’s just all. so. much. better. I AM SO HAPPY ABOUT THIS DEVELOPMENT YOU HAVE NO IDEA

also the smut was good. just generally good. I didn’t feel like there was too much of it. consent was a thing without it being like ‘loOk fOlKs tHiS iS cOnSeNt’ which was better. have I read better fanfic smut? absolutely. but also this is a published book and there are different rules and I overall really liked it. 

the lack of feyre was wonderful (stans don’t come for me). she is a fine character but I don’t think she’s interesting and I don’t like her relationship with Rhys and I think they are kinda boring together (despite the fact that Rhys is fascinating. that’s how boring Feyre is. she sucks the life out of rhys) so I was happy that we had some space from her. also Nesta needed that space and Im happy she was given that. 

im very very happy that it was in third person and not first. that’s purely personal preference but I don’t enjoy first person. maybe that’s part of why I don’t like feyre? idk 

it didn’t feel like fake girl power. as much as i love the tog series, there were a lot of moments that felt like pandering. nothing in here felt like pandering and i really really liked that. the whole blood rite thing was well set up and well executed and it wasn’t just “hey girls are as good as boys!” 

nesta is super interesting. cassian is super interesting. i love a reverse slow burn. their relationship isn’t perfect but it’s good and I genuinely like it. I could have done without the mating bond but it actually had a purpose. it wasn’t just ‘ah they like each other so they are now mates’. like there was plot around it. which we love. that is definitely an improvement.

the little moments we get of azriels inner thoughts (like the thing about his scarred hands while holding the baby) made me HURT A LOT but it was really good and i’m hoping we get another book about him and elain? because the subtext is there. im annoyed that the subtext is there but it’s there. I don’t love the three brothers getting paired up with the three sisters because heteronormativity and i hate predictable relationships. but they do seem like they’d be relatively compatible. maybe. and i’d like to see a relationship that goes against the mating bond 

Emerie is a baby sunshine sweetheart that needs to be protected at all costs and I did not miss her queer subtext and maybe that’ll happen??? i just really hope it isn’t her x Gwyn because that would break up the sisterhood. maybe her x Mor? also GIRL GET YOUR WINGS FIXED YOU DONT HAVE TO HOLD ONTO THE SCARS 

speaking of GWYN IS THE LOVE OF MY LIFE AND I CANNOT SAY ENOUGH GOOD THINGS ABOUT HER

eris is everything????? he’s definitely one of the coolest antiheros i’ve read in a long long time. I really wanna know what the real story is with Mor. I hope we get more of him. 

I was very happy that this book didn’t end with another surprise army. she did it twice. twice was too much. she’d better not do that again. but this one was good and I was surprised (which rarely happens with her books) so that was nice. 

i’m glad nesta didn’t win the blood rite. it was so much better to have her stand in the pass. like yes that was such a good plot choice. 

I feel like her actual writing itself has improved. this feels like a stronger book and a stronger story and I am weirdly proud of SJM which I lowkey hate myself for saying but it’s true.

so there we have it, folks. 4/5. not bad.  

[grxceblqckthxrn]

hi @chocolatecarstairs came up with these post-CHOG questions and i really want to answer them because im sad that im finished reading it :((

MAJOR SPOILERS BELOW

what was your favorite part, 1 or 2?

Honestly I loved both parts, but I’d say I loved part two just a little bit more for the time that James wasn’t under the curse anymore and LOVED Cordelia

which scene in the book was your favorite?

EVERY scene that had Matthew and James being wholesome parabatai in it!!! my favourite chapter in this book was Blue Ruin, the one after Grace takes the bracelet back from James  (aside from the whispering room ofc).

what scene (or scenes) made you cry the most?

ok ngl i didnt spend much of this book crying, but the only scene that actually made me tear up was when james was dying and matthew could feel it and jesse (WHO I FUCKING LOVED MORE THAN I THOUGHT I WOULD) gave him his last breath :(((((

what scenes were unsatisfactory?

there were not enough Christopher scenes (but to be fair, even if the entire book was just Christopher it still wouldnt be enough for me)

but fr, i cant think of any off the top of my head but i’ll edit this if i do later

what made you laugh the most?

matthew!! james!! thomas!! christopher!! also some of the things Jesse said

what bored you?

this wasn’t boring, but the whole charles/alastair plot line didn’t have me very invested. I did love the alastair/ cordelia scenes tho, so it was just charles that was the problem

also no offense to james bc he was my first actual fictional crush after reading TMH/NBS but like whenever he talked about being in grace i would literally zone out lol the bracelet curse makes him so boring but whenever he isnt in the curse/ is with someone who is NOT grace i just!! love him!!

what disappointed you?

cassie honestly had me kinda shipping matthew/cordelia for a solid FIVE SECONDS there when he stepped in to dance with her after james left her standing there, but that was one of the only scenes that made me feel like they had natural chemistry (along with the scene where he drops her off at her house). I felt like the during the rest of their interactions in the book, cordelia was kind of uncomfortable, which made me really sad because even tho she has every right to feel that way, i felt bad for matthew. I kind of want him to fall for someone else completely and for it to be reciprocated. also, i just really want for matthew and cordelia to become good friends because i feel like they could have such great natural chemistry if matthew didnt love her.

what is the top thing you wish had been done differently?

see above.

what things did you predict that came true?

JAMES BURNING DOWN BLACKTHORN MANOR I FUCKING SAID HE WOULD DO IT TWO FUCKING YEARS AGO IF YALL WANT ME TO LINK THE THEORY LMK

what are some things that were really unexpected?

ok there’s quite a few things here so bear w me babes:

- James genuinely loving cordelia from the start. I wasn’t expecting him to naturally feel nothing for grace at all, so i was expecting a slow burn jordelia, but finding out that he actually loves her makes me so happy but the end where cordelia thinks he was just pretending breaks my heart :(((

-matthew liking cordelia lol definitely was not expecting another parabatai love triangle but i hope it doesnt last. i do think it adds to the plot and i love it, it just hurts to see matthew so emo :(((

-I was expecting to like cordelia as a character, but i ended up LOVING her so fucking much???? she’s so three dimensional to me, and it’s interesting to see how her personality adapts around different characters as people adapt around different social circles irl

-liking jesse as much as i did

-ok so james’ entire character was a surprise to me. it’s so fascinating to see how the bracelet actually affected his personality.If you recall him in The Midnight Heir from TBC. he’s like an entirely different person. i still loved him in TMH but i went into CHOG thinking that if he was gonna be like that the entire time i’d probably get over him really quickly. i was pleasantly surprised by how much i ended up loving him even more tho

-i didn’t expect oliver hayward to die and im going to stay emo about it

- Christopher is so much more clear headed than he was made out to be prior?? like there were so many scenes where he was fully there and when he defended anna to alastair i just kfdsnfkld i love him

are there characters that you didn’t like before that you like now?

yikes umm... Alastair, maybe? he’s somewhat okay to me now, I dont dislike him as much as I used to. ooh and Hypatia Vex. the only scene i remember liking her in QOAAD was when she helped out kit, ty and dru (me, going a whole TSC post without somehow mentioning kit? not possible)

are there characters that you liked before that you don’t like now?

I started CHOG ready to give Grace the benefit of the doubt, and I was surprised by how timid and shy she seemed at the start, but it was interesting to see how it was all an act and how she doesn’t have an actual personality yet. one could argue that she actually does love james, but i doubt it at this point. i dont hate her yet, even tho she IS fucking up james’ life, but she’s on thin fucking ice.

who was your favorite new character?

does new character mean completely new or just never been in a novella new? because for the first, it would be Cordelia (i LOVE her sm!!) and other wise it would be james, matthew and co. also!!! jesse!!

what places in the book would you like to visit?

that hell dimension sounds pretty lit ngl

did you like the ending?

ok so. we KNOW that jordelia is gonna be endgame. cassandra clare always takes the hardest path to get there, but when has she not delivered? it’s just a matter of waiting. so, yes, i did like the ending in sense of the plot because it was a great twist, but i also feel really bad for all of them even tho ik they’re eventually gonna be together :(((

what did you think of the epilogue?

i wasnt surprised, since we alr know that Tatiana is shady asf, but i just really wanna know how she partnered up with a GREATER demon like lol wtf. again, im really happy in terms of plot with this

what are your thoughts on the engagement?

i feel so. fucking bad. for cordelia. and james too, even tho he’s under the bracelet’s curse so he doesnt even KNOW he’s being manipulated. but i love how even through the curse, james still loves cordelia in his own way.

what did you want to see that didn’t happen?

matthew getting therapy periodt

umm honestly i just want more “merry thieves” content like i just love. all of them.

what do you wish had been resolved that wasn’t?

i really want matthew to tell james or cordelia what happened because i just need him to be loved and supported lol i want to give him a hug. 

what is your favorite pairing as of now?

jordelia!!! and lucie and jesse are kind cute rn, and i like them if theyre gonna be pining after eachother but i feel like if they actually get together i wont like the relationship as much.

which characters would you like to see more of in the next book?

CHRISTOPHER CHRISTOPHER CHRISTOPHER 

ANNA!!! i lovED reading about her she’s so badass

matthew!! jesse!! also i wanna see more of those bitchy girls lol just so we can see anna or cordelia tell them to stfu

what is one character whose death you would undo if you could?

ok i know that jesse is still very much a conscious character despite being dead but like,,, i want him to be the way he was before and also i want him to come back to life

and barbara!! she seemed so sweet 

which characters got bad/unsatisfactory endings?

ummm barbara? i cant really say much on this yet bc its still only the first book and when has the first book ever ended up with anyone being happy.

oh but also can we sign a petition to make cassie let matthew actually survive the series because my heart aches just at the THOUGHT of eventually having to read a scene where he dies

which characters got what they deserved?

literally. none of them yet. :(

who should have died but didn’t?

Tatiana lol also lowkey charles but i also feel pity him to an extent 

what plotline are you most excited to see in the next book?

okay the entire jesse plot has me hooked because i LOVE his character. also i love the bracelet plot but its making me MAD because i just want james to be happy but

what is one scene that you wish hadn’t happened, but you know was unavoidable?

THE ONE WHERE GRACE PUTS THE BRACELET BACK ON JAMES. i mean obv there was no way he was completely done with grace, but i literally got so sad at that part like why HIM of all people smfh let him be happy

which pairing do you like the least?

alastair x charles, grace x james, lucie x matthew bc neither of them actually like either imo lol

what are some theories you have for chain of iron?

- not necessarily for COI but i think matthew is gonna get exiled and turned into made into a mundane

- the bracelet will break (?)

- jesse will come back to life (like actual life) at the end of the book

-grace is gonna do something to help the main characters, making it hard for us to hate her.

what characters do you think should have gotten more plot time?

lol are yall gonna hate me if i say christopher again (also anna)

anyways this was really fun!!!!! PLEASE ASK ME STUFF ABOUT MY OPINIONS AND STUFF OR JUST SAY ANYTHING ABT THE BOOK BC IM DESPERATE TO TALK TO PPL ABOUT IT

[emybain]

The Mall

im not gonna lie i lowkey based this off of my own (very few) experiences going to the nasty old mall in the next town over with my friends. lets just say: very worried parents, sticky atmosphere, and great people watching but also pedophiles left and right sksksks. the movie is also based on a movie I saw with friends when I was thirteen, but I saw it at the nice, trustworthy outlet mall closer to my house lmao. anyone else ever seen the boy? anyway, enjoy me projecting my awkward young teen experiences on the AU where Nova’s parents live. this is unedited as well:)

Part of the Nova’s family lives AU***

Masterpost of all my Renegades Fics 

    Nova was practically vibrating with happiness. She bounced up and down in the passenger seat of her mom’s car, leg jiggling in excitement. Only half paying attention to the radio, she hummed along to the music playing. Today was a new day. A breakthrough in Nova’s thirteen years of life. 

    For the first time ever, after countless hours and years of begging, Nova was being dropped off at the mall to hang out with her friends. 

    Her parents were what most would call overprotective. By this point, Nova was used to it, but it was still annoying when she had to miss out on fun activities just because Mom said no. They never even gave a clear answer when she asked why, too. It was always “Because we’re the parents and we say so,” usually followed by them telling Nova to go clean her room or entertain her siblings. Even with this new experience, Nova hadn’t been completely honest when her parents grilled her on the details. As far as they knew, Nova was just seeing a movie with a few friends and would not be venturing into the main mall. They were under the illusion that Adrian Everhart, Nova’s best friend and the only boy her parents trusted, was going to be the only male present. Not that it mattered much, anyway, seeing as Nova had expressed her attraction to girls as well at dinner one night about a year ago. Still, according to her parents, adolescent boys were trouble. All except for stupidly perfect Adrian Everhart. He was the kind of kid that everyone and their mother couldn’t help but be friends with. The kind of boy that, after leaving someone’s house, the mom would say “I always liked him. Good kid.” The same couldn't be said about Nova, his partner in crime since they were six and seven years old.  

    Her mom parked the car along the curb outside the movie theater entrance of the mall. Leaning back from the wheel with a heavy sigh, she looked over at Nova. “Just a movie, right?”

    Nova nodded firmly, hand already reaching for the door in her hurry to escape. She could see the silhouettes of her friends, waiting in line for tickets. 

    “Hold on there, young lady.” Nova heard the clicking of the lock and groaned. “I want you to text me once every hour, okay? Stay with Adrian no matter what. If anything happens, call me or your father immediately.” Nova inched toward the door again, this time trying to unlock it subtly. Her mother still noticed. “Don’t talk to anyone you don’t know.”

    Nova felt an evil smile creep onto her lips. “But what if they’re selling candy?”

    “I mean it, Nova Jean.” She swore she saw the flash of fear in her mother’s eyes. “No funny business. You know how I feel about leaving you, and here of all places.” She gestured to the building before them. “Be on your best behavior. There are-”

    “Eyes on me at all times, I know.” She rolled her eyes, thinking back to all the times those words had been repeated to her whenever she went anywhere. When she was younger, they confused her. But now, Nova knew her mom meant the media and how the older Nova got, 

the more people watched her every move. After all, her family had a reputation. “Can I go now? Adrian’s already coming over here.” 

    Closing her eyes, Tala Artino nodded. She reached for Nova’s hand when her eyes reopened, now soft. “I love you, sweetheart, Be safe. I’ll pick you up at 10.” 

    “Love you too, Mom.” Reaching over, Nova pressed a kiss to her mom’s cheek. Then, she was finally allowed to exit the vehicle. Adrian, waiting outside, greeted her with a hug. Nova couldn’t help but notice his growth spurt in recent months. She had always been the short one, but there had been a time once where she didn’t have to tilt her head up to look at him. Now, her neck stretched more and more each time she saw him. She should’ve seen it coming; his mom had been tall, and he was a spitting image of her. 

    “Hi, Mrs. Artino.” Adrian waved as the passenger window rolled down. All traces of a stern parent vanished from her mother’s face when she waved back. 

    “Hi, honey. You’re going to make sure my daughter doesn’t do anything she’s not supposed to, right?” 

    “Mom!”

    But Adrian laughed and simply nodded, putting on his dumb charming smile that won over every parent. They said bye to her mother. Nova watched until the car had disappeared from view before turning to face her friend. 

“Where should we go first?” 

Adrian frowned. “Are we not seeing the movie? Everyone else already has their tickets.” 

“They can see it if they want.” Nova wrapped an arm around Adrian’s and pulled him forward. “But it honestly looks boring. All horror movies are the same.” 

But Adrian didn’t look convinced, and while Nova wanted nothing more than to explore the mysterious place her mother hated with a passion, she could tell he wanted to see the movie. Well, the movie was only an hour and a half. And it was only 5 in the evening right now. They had plenty of time. 

Nova let out a sigh, then pulled Adrian in the direction of the ticket line. “Fine, but you’re staying in line with me to buy a ticket.” 

Adrian snorted. “Just as long as you sit next to me in case I get scared so I can hold your hand.” He seemed almost shy in saying that, despite trying to be nonchalant and joking. Nova glanced over at him and noticed how his cheeks and neck had darkened. A flutter twirled in her belly, but she pushed it aside. Those feelings were nothing new by now. But for whatever reason, she only felt them when she was around her best friend. 

———-

“That movie was terrible!” Nova said as soon as she exited the theater with her friends. A few people glanced over at her, shooting disapproving looks before recognition dawned on their faces and their eyes flitted between her and Adrian and the linked arms between their bodies. Nova had to refrain from making faces at them, remembering her mother’s warnings. 

“It wasn’t that bad,” Ramona said with an eye roll. “At least it wasn’t the same as every other horror movie.” Ramona was a Renegade, like Nova and Adrian. She had been chosen by Nova at the last trials a few months before to be a part of her team. Usually, the Council didn’t let the younger Renegades participate in the trials other than to watch, but they gave Nova an exemption at the ripe age of thirteen. Why, she wasn’t fully sure, especially when Adrian’s dads were on the Council and still wouldn’t let him create his. She suspected her parents had a bit of a pull in that, as well as the Council recognizing the amount of time Nova put in every day for the organization. After all, she was dedicated to righting the wrongs her uncle had done in the past. Her team couldn’t do much anyway. Patrols were too dangerous, so they were forced to stick to duties inside headquarters, something that quickly grew boring but at least helped Nova’s team bond. 

Benton, Nova’s other recruit, shook his head. “No, I’m with Nova on this one. Possessed dolls? C’mon, it’s been done like, fifty times already.” 

Nova headed the group as they ventured into the main part of the mall. The aroma of pretzels and stinky children pierced her nostrils. Nova hadn’t been inside a mall for some years. Her mom tried to avoid the place as much as possible, as it wasn’t the cleanest place on earth. Usually, if they had to go to a store in the mall, they would spend time only in that store, parking near an entrance by the store in order to spend the least amount of time in the main mall as possible. Tala had practically drilled Nova every single day leading up to her mall escapade on what to do and what not to do, as well as reminding her of the dangers of the media and of course, the splotchy-faced pedophiles who camped out in the food court all day watching teen girls pass by in crop tops and cut off shorts. 

“Okay, but you have to admit the creepy dude at the end was a surprise,” Adrian countered, pushing his glasses up over his nose. Nova bit back a smile; she had promised not to make fun of his scratchy, changing voice. Even if he did squeak every other word. “Living in the walls?” He shuddered. “Spying on her that entire time?” 

Ramona muttered something under her breath in Spanish. “No wonder his parents left. I honestly would’ve left sooner if I were them. Screw his feelings.” 

“Yeah, he was weird, but that kind of came out of nowhere.” Benton ran a hand through his blond locks. “The plot holes are endless. Why didn’t his parents just up and abandon him? What was keeping them there? Why was he in the fucking walls to begin with? Why didn’t they get him mental help sooner?” 

Nova gasped, quieting the group. She had spotted one of her favorite shops, a small store that sold band and other nerdy merch. Her mom wasn’t a big fan, seeing as they sold goth and emo type stuff, and their workers were ‘scary looking’. She grabbed Adrian’s hand in her excitement, missing the way his gaze widened at the gesture, and tugged him in the direction of the shop. 

    “There’s a shirt I’ve had my eyes on for the longest time,” she explained to him as they halted in front of the wall lined with band t-shirts. Benton and Ramona trailed off from them, drifting over to the racks and cubbies of fandom merch. 

    Adrian hummed in understanding. “The West Side?”

    “East Side,” Nova corrected, glaring at his teasing shit eating smile. “If you’re going to their concert with me in November then you better learn their name at least, you asshole.” 

    Adrian bumped her shoulder lightly, but helped her look for the shirt after she gave him a brief description. Just when she was beginning to think they didn’t have it, Adrian let go of her hand to reach forward and to the left. When he turned back to her, he had the shirt, and in a size medium, just as she liked it. The baggier, the better. She grinned and accepted the shirt, wrapping an arm around him in a loose hug. 

    That’s when she saw a flash in the corner of her eye. 

    Flipping around, she saw a girl a few years older than her, the phone in her hand dropping awkwardly. Her group of friends all giggled and whispered to one another. Based on the way they were dressed and were acting, Nova could tell they had followed her and her friends into the store. 

    The girls entire face turned beet red, but that didn’t stop her from tearing her gaze from Nova to look at the photo she had taken. Before Nova could even open her mouth to ask her to delete the photo, the group of girls was gone, flocking out of the store quickly as if they hadn’t even been there.And that was when Nova noticed the hidden phones of quite a few shoppers. One was held in crossed arms as the lady pretended to look at a pair of shoes, another behind a clothing rack. One didn’t even try hiding their camera, or even bother to whisper to the person beside them. 

    A chill ran through Nova’s body, and suddenly she didn’t feel very well. Well, her few minutes of freedom were fun while they lasted. She closed her eyes and practically leaned against Adrian, jaw clenched as she pressed the shirt back into his hands. 

    “Shit.”

[disloopy]

the heart is deceiving pt 4

BLOO

genre: angst, fluff, smut

word count: 1.7k

coming back to this fic after monthsss made me realize how shit and cringe it is and oh my god, you all deserve much better writing. yuck. HOWEVER, i will keep posting it until it's finished ( since id already written the whole thing ) because i do kind of like the ending sooo

pls stay w me cause im working on a sik k friends to lovers au and i know it's gonna be way better than whatever the hell this is...

clubbing really takes a toll on you, physically and mentally. i didn't even drink but i managed to have a headache by the night. i stumbled through the crowd, approaching the counter and slumping down in the seat. the bartender asked if i needed anything and i only ordered some water. she left to get it. 

my phone buzzed with a text from my dad, saying he might not be home tonight because of work. "oooh, that's exciting," said daniel, glancing at the text and sliding into the seat next to mine. he asked the bartender for something that sounded pretty intense and i gulped down my water.

"live a little," daniel urged, offering me the dark liquid but i shook my head. "ugh, you're so annoying and uptight." i rolled my eyes.

"thanks. that's sweet."

"kiss me."

"no."

"why?" daniel asked, pouting. 

"cause you're drunk as fuck and i hate the taste," i told him, trying to walk away but daniel grabbed my hand, turning me around. i pulled my arm away from him with a frown. "will you stop following me around like a lost puppy?" 

"i get worried when you're not with me." 

"yeah, i know," i said, reaching for my phone and showing it him. "you probably can't read but you know what says? 17 missed calls and 51 unread messages..." daniel grinned sheepishly but i wasn't finding it funny. "i was right next to you, daniel... i get that's it kinda dark in here but there's no way you could have missed me." 

daniel stuck out his bottom lip. "i just didn't want you to get lost, that's all. there's lots of creepy dudes here, they'll pick up anything with boobs." i groaned.

"stop. this isn't funny, it's an obsession and i don't like it." 

i tried to leave again and again daniel tried to pull me back but this time jojo got in between us, noticing the tension. "what the hell is going on here?" she asked, her voice trembling like she had just finished crying. i looked at her. her eyeliner was slightly smudged which gave me the answer right away.

"she won't let me love her," daniel whined.

"you only love me when you're drunk," i murmured and then jojo convinced daniel to go away for little while which he finally complied. the two of us sat on the curb outside the club, just on the sidewalk where we could still here the muffled sound of the music inside.

"what's wrong?" i asked her. she's usually the one comforting me and giving advice, so it was strange to be switching roles.

"boys are so complicated," she answered, blowing a puff of smoke into the dark of the night. "were you the one who gave my number to jinyoung?"

i nodded. "i'm sorry if i wasn't supposed to... i thought he was cute and you're cute and things could maybe..."

"it's not that," said jojo, taking a swig of the bottle she was holding. "did you know he loves me? he told me that."

"i just assumed..." i shrugged. jojo buried her face in her hands and i furrowed my brows. "jojo... you don't have to cry about it. you can choose the man you like... it doesn't have to be either." 

she sniffed, looking up and wiping her tears. "i know... i just feel so bad. i just like to fuck around and stuff but what if i'm actually catching feelings? nick called me babe.... what's it like to be in a relationship?"

i chuckled. "it's not all that... trust me, i feel like i'm not even in a proper one." we both laughed a little and the air felt lighter. "what are you going to do?"

jojo shrugged. "what i always do... nothing. besides i'm receiving clout from hanging out with these rappers so," she laughed and the smell of cigarettes just filled my nostrils. "why do i have to be so hot that boys are just tripping over themselves for me?" we talked for a little bit about how boys suck but also about which ones we'd smash because they can be fine sometimes too.

"it's fun when you're around," jojo told me with a smile. "daniel really bought out the wild side of you." i nodded and jojo leaned over, pressing her chapped lips against mine for a fleeting second before pulling away. 

"heyyyy, is it too late for a show?" daniel chuckled, walking over to us. "oh come on, keep going, don't mind me." 

"you're disgusting," jojo said, shaking her head and shoving him as he tried to put his arm around both of our shoulders. 

"i gotta go home anyway," i informed the both of them. "my head hurts and we got school... i haven't finished homework yet." 

"good luck with that," said jojo, brushing off her jeans and walking back into the club after ruffling me and daniel's hair. 

daniel rested his head on my shoulder. "i can drop you home." i sighed.

"you're too drunk to drive."

"we can test our limits." 

i ended up driving myself home in daniel's car while he blasted music and sang the lyrics out loud. then, i let him inside my house even though i told myself i wouldn't when we first got into the car. it was my foolish self who held his hand all the way to my bedroom and lied in bed with him until we let our bodies do the talking and our sounds created music in the silence of the night. i slept knowing he was right beside me, his arms wrapped around my waist, his bare chest slowly rising and falling to the rhythm of his  beating heart. he was safe and i was safe and we were each other's for the night.

***

"honey, are you decent, can i come in?" dad's knocking the door woke me up with a start. i quickly sat upright and shook daniel awake who just groaned. 

"um yeah, one second." i pushed him off the bed and his eyes shot open, about to complain but i hushed him, ushering him to get under the mattress which he obeyed. "come in!"

dad opened the door and i tried not to look nervous at all. "sorry i wasn't here last night." i didn't reply cause it was usual. "but i made breakfast for you and i wanted to tell you to have a good sunday before i leave to run some errands."

i smiled. that was the first time he'd said something like that. "okay daddy, i love you."

"i love you too baby."

when dad finally left, i let daniel come out of hiding. he clutched his head and i had to get him some tylenol and water before i let him eat breakfast with me. "did something happen last night?" he asked, eagerly digging into the pancakes. "cause you never allow me in your room and i just woke up in your bed."

i shrugged with a sly smile. "oops?" 

"well, whatever it was, i'm sure it was good."

"do you not remember anything?"

daniel shook his head. "nope." good, i thought, breathing out a sigh of relief. i was a major bitch to him last night - understandably. but i hoped it was something of the past that wouldn't ruin anything.

"i wish i could stay with you but i have to go to the studio today," daniel informed me while putting his clothes on. "jinyoung's like... totally diligent and he may be my friend but he's also my manager so." 

i giggled. "yeah, i get it." i handed him a water bottle to drink on the way back and he kissed my lips very gently. "i'll miss you."

"you can see me tonight. there's another party, i can pick you up."

"no, i have homework to do today."

"righttt, you're still in school." daniel chuckled, pulling his shoes on. "sexy schoolgirl." i rolled my eyes and kissed him once again at the doorway. i lowkey didn't want him to leave because i spent most of my weekend with him already and didn't want to be alone again.

"i'll visit you tonight... at your window." 

i was glad he left me with those words because it gave me something to look forward to tonight. i didn't go out at all that day. jojo came over and we did our homework together and we never usually did something like that but i enjoyed it.

she showed me her texts with jinyoung which we squealed over because i never realized how smoking hot he was until then. besides, he was good at flirting, just like daniel. 

when jojo left after eating dinner (which was thai takeout), i felt that loneliness again. no one was home but me so i decided to watch tv and maybe study for my next exam. life is quite boring like this but at least daniel would visit me tonight after the party.

i waited and waited and waited. he didn't show up. i called him a bunch of times but he didn't pick up. obviously he was partying too hard but i just wished he hadn't promised me something if he couldn't pull through. 

i sighed and lied in bed, still waiting. but he didn't come so i ended up falling asleep.

about 3am in the morning, my phone buzzed beside me. i groggily answered it. if the caller had been anyone other than daniel i wouldn't have. "hello?"

"babe?"

"hmm?"

i heard daniel breathe out on the other end. "sorry for leaving you hanging..."

"it's okay," i murmured, too sleepy to say anything else or to guilt trip him. "i guess you drank too much at the party."

there was a pause. "no... i actually didn't go to the party." 

"seriously?" i giggled sleepily. "that's hard to believe."

"yeahhh... i didn't feel up to it," daniel chuckled quietly on the other end. i felt my mind wander but then it was bought back. "i wanna sing my song to you." 

"go ahead," i whispered, holding the phone close to my face as i closed my eyes. the song started with something like "you're my downtown baby" and i couldn't remember the rest. i was too focused on how soothing his voice sounded over the phone while he sang.

after a couple minutes. "baby... are you still awake?"

"mhm," i replied. it felt like my mind was asleep but daniel's voice could keep me up all night long. 

"i'm moving back to korea."

[kinkymagnus]

thoughts on alec? since this is mainly a magnus blog i guess i'm curious.

kfjlkfgjd thanks for resending sorry tumblr’s a bitch ily

eh i feel like generally i talk mostly about magnus bc Every Other Blog (not literally obviously but like, in general) talks about Only Alec just like…..24/7

so while i like him fine, he’s like, mostly Magnus’s Love Interest on my blog lghjflgkhjfgh but honestly just generally while i do like him i honestly don’t find him that….interesting, individually, i guess? i mean he’s not quite boring, but he’s not a character i really relate to

so the reason i don’t really write alec-centric stuff is like. 1. i just don’t find him as interesting (although i’ve had a few ideas, they’ll likely never be published thanks to…) 2. Spite

aka the alec stans suck. the Alec Stans™ to be clear, the ones who suck, not everyone who likes alec. but like, yeah

anyway let’s not just talk salt and me being petty, despite alec being not my fave i can afford to answer one (1) ask without my entire blog crumbling down and revealing i’ve been an alec stan this whole time without me even knowing it

ok so alec headcanons i guess

1. alec was a chatty kid. not what you’d think, right? but then like, he was taking care of izzy, bc she’s his baby sister and Protective, and jace wasn’t really the type to listen to him. like, ever. alec would suddenly realize jace hadn’t been listening the whole time pretty much every time he tried to have a conversation with him or talk about things he was interested in, even when he listened when jace talked about his latest crush or whatever he was interested in. alec started abruptly going quiet before his sentence was finished, and jace didn’t seem to notice or was just like oh good you’re finally done talking, here’s what i was gonna say. eventually alec gives up. he still talks to izzy but she’s so little it’s a lot slower paced and he usually pays more attention to her than what he wants to say bc Baby Sister. by the time izzy’s old enough to like, properly, hold a conversation (she is also pretty chatty) alec’s already gone a lot quieter. by the time we see him, he basically doesn’t initiate conversation on things he’s interested in that aren’t work-related. he does still sometimes talk to izzy, but it’s hard to get the words out and get everything sounding right, so he gets annoyed with himself. it doesn’t come as easy anymore.

and not to show my magnus stan roots but magnus is kind of similar, albeit way less clear cut, he tends to ramble and talk a lot about his special interests only to shut himself up when he realizes he’s definitely boring whoever he’s talking to (he isn’t, necessarily, but after enough times being told to shut up when you get excited you believe everyone wants you to shut up.) and then he was trying to keep up the whole classy unaffected stylish “def not an adorkable disaster bi nerd, i am dangerous deadly unaffected lothario man who has never even heard of star trek or whatever” facade, and rambling about whatever interested him didn’t really fit that. so he retreated more into himself, too. he did have his friends to talk to, but catarina is so busy and he doesn’t want to bother her and raphael doesn’t want to hear his foolish old dad ramble on, does he, and ragnor–he’d always put up with magnus’s babble, and listened, but magnus felt like he was boring him and then ragnor was–well.

anyway so to united these, then, they met each other. and it takes a while, but they get comfortable with each other. magnus goes on a long ramble about a potion he’s been trying to get just right and then cuts himself off, embarrassed, and apologizes for probably boring alec, and alec’s like what? no, that was really interesting, i was listening, can you explain the thing with the mandrake root? and magnus is like…oh.. (also side note: magnus is incredibly cute when rambling about things he’s interested in, he waves his hands a lot and his eyes are all excited and warm and he’s so lively, and clearly passionate, that it’s engaging and pulls you in. like a really good professor. and sometimes he starts talking about something way above most people’s heads without realizing how Smart he is, but if you ask him to clarify he’s like, totally non-condescending and explains it in creative and understandable way????? sorry im in love with adhd magnus thanks to someone anyway)

and then vice versa, alec slowly feels more comfortable talking about things that interest him, like a book he’s been reading and how it’s so fucking stupid the heroine went for the “blonde bad boy” when he’s such a dick to her, or whatever, like it starts as an angry rant about something but before he can cut himself off he realizes magnus is listening. like, actually listening. and like, if it’s appropriate, magnus will ask questions, engage in what alec’s talking about, and alec finds himself getting better at putting to words what he means and magnus is never mean about it, always patient and understanding

2. as a kid alec read romance novels. cheesy shitty fun romance novels. especially the ones that are like, written by women (or better, queer people, but that’s later) and aren’t weird? you know what i mean? and he loved them. romance was something young alec dreamed of a lot, even if he tried to ignore how he preferred tall, dark, and handsome to the main character, or the kind man the heroine fell in love with to the heroine herself. he hid trashy romance novels like most teen boys his age (including jace) hid porn magazines or whatever. he eventually maybe found some queer lit, but he didn’t dare to bring those back to the institute, instead choosing to go to the library the few times he had free time to sneak out (aka when he wasn’t working, sleeping, training, or watching izzy and jaces’ backs when they snuck out to clubs and shit.

also: 3. also i stand by the fact that alec wasn’t in denial about being gay. he wasn’t repressed, he knew exactly what he wanted and who he was, he just didn’t think it was possible for him to be with a man and be happy. 

4. alec isn’t a sweet innocent baby boy!!!! he’s seen porn, he knows how sex works, he’s masturbated, and honestly i know the show said otherwise but i find it hard to believe he never once fooled around even a little bit. just a little bit. no actual dating? not hard to believe at all. even being a “virgin” despite how outdated and terrible the concept is, not unbelievable. plenty of “normal” people reach college-age without ever having had sex, let alone shadowhunters raised to be demon-fighting soldiers. but like. look. he has the Energy. alec….Alec Fucks. also just something about the whole like, his siblings are always sneaking off to clubs and he follows them to watch their backs (is this canon or just common fanon? i honestly don’t remember) just screams to me hey, he may or may not have made out with an adventurous seelie or a mundane with eyes. or maybe a blowjob or a handjob, who knows. i’m JUST SAYING. i know this isn’t canon but i don’t care. alec lightwood has seen a dick

5. alec is ridiculously protective of people he loves. especially family (both in the sense of literal family like izzy, and family in the sense of “making your own family” like magnus) like he’d kill for them, he’d die for them, he’d live forever for them,

6. alec can and will become immortal for magnus. and not just literally only for magnus, for himself as well–like he doesn’t have to spend the rest of his life being a tool for the clave, he can work for better relations between downworlders and shadowhunters, and like accords that aren’t shitty, and he can be more than just another soldier or even head of the institute, he can be more and have time to actually spend time on himself, like it doesn’t have to be training-work-protect his siblings-sleep-training, and then one day he gets married and has kids and dies. he can actually experience the world, do things he enjoys, spend time with his husband, and most of all, he can spend the rest of his life with magnus bane, the love of his life, his husband, someone he loves so much. he can make sure magnus’s heart doesn’t get broken again by falling in love only to lose him. they get their happy ending, you know???? we stan

7. alec would be a great dad i dont know what to tell you he just would be 

8. one of the first kinks alec realized he really had like. with magnus. was office sex. yes im a slut what about it

this is bc he was minding his own business, doing paperwork at his desk, and magnus maybe sent a flirty text and alec was like mm i want to fuck him right now. and then he was staring at his desk thinking mm i want to bend him over this desk, sweep all this paper off the desk and rip off his clothes, take off his panties last and then lick his pussy until he’s begging for me to fuck him then press his chest down against the desk and fuck him until he screams. maybe i could tie his wrists behind his back with a tie. like i’m his boss? oh my god magnus in a secretary outfit. shit. he gets no work done that day. it’s just a rabbit hole of one thought to another until he’s like. sitting there hard and unable to focus on his work bc the mental image of magnus bent over in a skirt over his desk keeps playing his mind and he doesn’t want to do this paperwork he’d much rather be doing his husband.

9. alec loves making out with magnus on the couch like they’re just chilling and watching a movie and cuddling and alec loves to pull magnus into his arms and just make out. like literally not even “this ends in sex and gets hot and heavy” literally just magnus in his arms. and they kiss a lot. it’s soft and warm and relaxing tbh

10. magnus!!! and alec!!! cuddling!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! they both love it!!!!!! they’re both lowkey touch-starved!!!!!!

11. alec’s a dom top and that’s that my dudes

[doyouevenshipbr0]

rewatched legend of korra and i would like to get out some unpopular opinions. this is gonna be long.

-mako is literally not bad. i actually like him a lot. the only season i dont like him in is s2 but the rest hes lowkey a king.... (not my fav dont get me wrong. but he’s misunderstood:/ imo)

-makorra. there. i said it. they obv killed it in s2 but omggg i loved them in s1🥺 and even in s3 and s4 i think they got a lil spark. i do understand however that they kinda bring the worst out of each other so maybe theyre not a perfect match! i just think they have good chemistry. ill leave it at that.

-korras*mi is not fleshed out😭in the show!!! in the comic they are a cute couple but like them getting together in the end didnt make much sense to me. like in s4 their only significant interactions were asami saying her hair was cute, and korra only writing to asami. then they just HAPPENED?! yea idk. not rly buying it. but i do understand that the creators prolly kinda had to tip toe around their relationship bc ya know. nickelodeon. but like i said the comics did them justice❤️

-bolin and opal as a couple are boring:/ yea. not much more to say here. cute but boring.

-su yin is ELITE. i dont think this is an unpopular opinion but like she might be my fav character. def at least top 5.

-ranking the seasons: s1, s4, s3, s2. i dont think this is super unpopular either but yea.

-zaheer??? is?????? RIGHT??? hes hardly a villain ok im sorry idc.

-why does tenzin not have darker skin?? and why is kya not a little lighter? like they rly just said “carbon copies of katara and aang” like come on i think we can spice it up a lil more. still love all the kataang kids tho!!!!!! theyre all up there for my fav characters.

-ok. did anyone else notice how much faster traveling is in lok?????? getting from the south pole to the north pole literally took an ENTIRE SEASON in atla which i believe was at least a month. but in korra they go across the world in like one ep. idk seems weird.

-still do not understand how there are more bison. not complaining. but yea.

-kai and jinora is kind of a weird couple. im SORRY but i said it for atla and ill say it for lok, theyre KIDS! literally like 12. why do they feel the need to pair CHILDREN up. idk its just a BIT odd to me!

-fight scenes are SO much better in lok than atla holy SHIT.

-lavabending does not make much sense to me. kinda think thats mostly bc im dumb tho lol.

-korra=aang. i feel like this debate is so polarizing like ppl almost always love one and hate the other but i deadass like them almost completely equally.

-that being said, korrawouldbeataanginafight. idc.

-i b like :/ when i find out the og team avatar were not the best parents. i do like that they made them human and flawed but like:/ aang and toph seemed...........just flat out bad parents😭 makes me sad. but thats life ig!

-bumi..........shouldve stayed a nonbender. idk i rly liked that ab his character!!!

-ikki>jinora

-meelo=the worst

-it was weird seeing cars and radios and phones in lok. i get it. future=more technology but idk. it was weird. i dont think i liked it.

-varrick is king

-that being said!!!^^^ varrick and zhu li getting together also felt weird lmao. felt a lil forced. cute, but a smidge forced.

-asami was so capable of kicking major ass idk why we didnt see her do it more!!!

-i. want. more. PRO BENDING!

-i HATE!!!!!!! the new airbending outfits. hate them. a lot. hate.

-wing and wei were unsung HEROES. they were so dope and had like 10 lines total.

-also amon was lowkey onto sum too......like maybe dont take ppls bending away but... idk im js......

-90% of the eyebrows in lok were absolutely ridiculous and horrible. bolin, mako, tenzin, bumi, UNALAQ. like. u dont gotta do all that!

-they were kind of...... making bending a broken system in lok??? if that makes sense?? i get it, they were just trying to expand the possibilities but idk. lavabending, the waterbending that gets rid of bad spirits, flying, the spiritual projection thing, being able to bloodbend outside of a full moon, taking bending away w bloodbending?? plus they made things like metalbending and lightning bending SO common like those were supposed to be rly rare i thought? idk!!! maybe its just me!

-^that being said, as i mentioned earlier, bending is overall way cooler and better in lok.

[ughthatimagineblog]

sins of the earth

lucifer morningstar x reader | i

warnings; mentions of murder, death?, drinking, lots of drinking, weird past stuff, nothing too bad, if you’re able to watch the show without any triggers then you should be good

word count; 1735

prompt; your entire life you believed in the paranormal, you grew up christian but something pulled inside of you to believe there was more and for so long you wanted to find it. but when life hits you hard and you lose faith, you come to the conclusion that reality is as everyone said it was, boring and most things are a lie. and you believe this new ‘truth’ until a man claiming hes the devil comes into your life and threatens to make you relearn everything you thought you knew. again.

a/n; this is gonna be a series since i started watching lucifer and im not even into the second season and i already want tom ellis to impregnate me (if he happens to ever read that; i am sorry) anyways i literally shit this out on the first night of 2019. i just had a sentence in mind and then i ran with that and made a prompt out of it. that was my inspiration. a real life problem plus a sentence i thought i might say one day made this fic. anyways, i hope this is pretty good. it will get better. honestly im lowkey proud of this one tho. unedited but i think this has been some of my best writing. to those who have requested stuff i haven’t made: im sorry im depressed. 

Your fist slammed onto the bar harder than you were expecting, or wanting, it to. You mumbled your request for whatever number of drink this was for the night and immediately began to rub the soreness of your ulnar border away while the bartender went to work in making your drink.

      The club was pounding with noise and shaking with bodies and it was humorous to think it matched the pounding of your head. You knew you should stop. But it was your birthday and you were spending it alone, miles from home, and freshly heartbroken. You didn’t care you had a headache and the drinking would make it worse. In fact, you came to this nightclub in hopes that you would drink so much it would make it better.

     Drink until you couldn’t feel anything at all. You already made arrangements for a cab to pick you up at one a.m and instructed a female bartender to remind you, even tipping her generously to go as far as walk you out when it arrived.

     Her name started with an M. Or was it an N? You weren’t entirely sure and you groaned, beginning to stand up as the man behind the bar passed you your drink. In doing so, you felt the rush of your previous drinks all at once. The room was dizzy and you felt light and unstable but also very tired.

     Remembering the time when alcohol made you bubbly and carefree and happy made you horribly sad now. In actuality you were sad. Your entire life had been working towards a half assed dream you thought would make you happy. When you got the job of that half assed dream you packed your things and left everything you’d once known behind, including family. They don’t visit because they don’t have the money too. And thinking of family, you didn’t even pick a career you would have been fantastic in because you wanted a family yourself. You let children ruin your life before you even had any. Children or a life. The person you thought you’d marry turned out to be a complete asshole and you’d had enough. Dreams and spirit crushed, you, at this moment accepted your fate. Die alone. Be bitter.

     But that wasn’t it. There was a war going on inside you that told you to give up but another didn’t. A side that told you you weren’t strong enough but another that reminded you of how strong your mother was. A side that told you your past self would frown and cry at the sight of you now, but the other; that your past self would tell you it’s okay to get up and make the best of things.

     The thoughts that rushed your mind spilled onto your cheeks and you gulped down the drink you just ordered, hearing your grandmother’s voice in the back of your mind. “Remember to sip. Don’t gulp.” She would tell you when she was teaching you to ‘properly drink’. You scoffed out loud, giving the bartender enough money to last the night. He passed you the bottle. “Yeah well you’re not here, are you, grandma?” You muttered to yourself before taking a long swig.

     “I feel like if she would be, she’d have a heart attack in this bloody place.” A suave voice cut through the music and chatter. Surprised, you coughed, spilling a bit on your shirt. “Jesus Christ.” You managed to get out. “Quite the opposite actually,” You turned to find a man who embodied the phrase ‘tall, dark, and handsome’. His raven eyes raked you and your body shamelessly. “Lucifer Morningstar.”

     You openly rolled your eyes. It was a gut reaction but since you couldn’t feel your nose if you tried to itch it at this point in the night, you couldn't quite control your reactions at the moment. “You couldn’t have chosen a better name than that?” You asked, your face plastered with a look of disdain and disgust. Lucifer looked taken aback but nonetheless, didn’t drop the haughty facade.

      “I didn’t choose the name.” He stated, you laughed a little. “Oh yeah? Then who did? Nameberry dot com?” You took another swig of the bottle. “My father actually, though I would like to meet this Nameberry person.” He smiled and you peered up at him through narrowed eyes. You gave him a once over. A twice over. Then finally, “It’s a website, but no, really, who are you?” You asked. “I’m the devil. Lucifer Morningstar. If you don’t believe me I have ways of proving it.” You rolled your eyes at this.

     “Not my religion.”

“You’re not a believer?” He inquired. Understanding he meant the Christian kind, you shook your head. “Not anymore.”

     “So you don’t believe in hell?” He asked and it earned him an odd look. Such odd questions from a weirdly unique stranger.

     “If I did, that would juxtapose what I just said, wouldn’t it? I used to. Now I don’t really care where I go.” You were growing bored of this man. It was clear that he had an ego the size of Russia and based on the look of him that was because he hadn’t ever had a girl say ‘no’ to him before. This ‘Lucifer Morningstar’ was in for a rude awakening.

     Meanwhile, he was growing more and more interested in you. “Ah, no desire to end up anywhere in the afterlife? I’m sure you have some desires here, don’t you?” He asked, voice getting smoother, tone dropped just enough to ring some red alarms in your head. This time, you were able to hid the grin.

     You put on a dazed look, nonchalantly setting your bottle aside as you stepped closer to Lucifer. You ran a hand over his chest and watched as his damning smile grew in amusement. “Actually, my strongest desire. . .” You trailed off and gave him a once over once more. Lucifer could barely contain his excitement. “Is for you to stop asking me these weird fucking questions and leave me alone.” Your voice transitioned from sultry to bored so smoothly you thought your tongue was made of silk. Lucifer didn’t even realize what had happened until the fake smile dropped from your lips and you stepped away.

     “Wait, what?”

“You heard me, Lucifer Morningstar.” You mocked his name, turning from him fully and you began to walk away, grabbing your bottle on the way out. The conversation with him was both sobering and a great way to intensify your headache.

      Lucifer felt frozen where he stood as he watched you walk away. You had been playing him. His, well, charm didn’t work on you. It was all jarring and exciting and concerning and exhilarating for him. Finally, he snapped out of his daze as you mocked his name.

    “Wait!” He called after you, reaching for your arm and turning you around. You yanked free of his touch. “Don’t touch me, creep.” You spat back at him. That flicker of annoyance. If he were mortal, he realized, that would have hurt. This confused him more.

     “I’m not a creep, i’m the devil!” He exclaimed back at you. “Would you quit with that?” You nearly were yelling now. “You’re human! Just like that guy and just like me. If you’re so convinced you’re not, you need to see a shrink. There is no such thing as fairy tales.” You shoved a business card you had been digging around for into his chest.

    Lucifer scoffed as he felt the small weight of your hands against your chest again, if only for a moment. “But I’m not-“ He started but you glared at him.

     “I did not come here for this. It’s one in the morning, my taxi is here.” You noticed the girl you tipped earlier already on her way to come get you from across the room. “You wore off my drunk. I’ll be chugging this in the rest of the car, wishing I had went to a different bar for my birthday. Oh, and I won’t be coming back. Not if you’re here.” You huffed out right as the girl who’s name you forgot approached you and she began to lead you out as promised.

     You shocked yourself just then. You had promised yourself to be more honest and that was the first time you really had. You had spent most of your life, even adult life, thinking demons and fairies and ghosts and ghouls and goblins were real. But you got the help you needed and now you didn’t so when that guy began to talk about being Lucifer and Satan and the devil, it scared you. But you meant what you said. That guy was insane and if he went to that club, you weren’t coming back. You supposed some of his questions were casual, but something about him felt, off.

    Your birthday. Whoever you were. Lucifer was still clutching the business card in his hands, still hovering above where his heart would be as he watched you leave. You were different. You didn’t believe him. You didn’t care to. You thought he was clinically insane, like a murderer who thought he was God, or well, the devil. You didn’t say it but he saw it in your eyes. Not that you were afraid of him, but you knew he was different and you couldn’t tell what.

   But that’s the thing, if he thought about it, is that you knew what he was. And you weren’t afraid but instead your automatic response was to get him help. Not that you knew what he really was, but a part of you recognized it even without your conscious knowing. Your consciousness just didn’t want to know.

    It felt like hours before he pulled his hands from his chest and gazed down at the numbers on the paper. Tonight was a night, well morning, was a morning of firsts apparently, because for the first time, Lucifer called later that day and made an appointment with the shrink you recommended. You promised you wouldn’t come back to that club, but he wasn’t ready to let go of you just yet.

     He chuckled to himself at his plan. Yes, it did sound as though was was a murderer. Insane and obsessive. But he was in fact the devil, and there are no consequences for the sins of the Earth.

[average-trickster]

VLD7 spoilers ahead:

I liked a lot of stuff about this season, but i hated a lot of it too: 

- Hunk finally has the arc he deserves, his characterization is extense and I’m really happy with how they portrayed it, he was awesome, Hunk brought the team together, his interactions with keith were great and he was really cute, hot and inspiring;  - Romelle was portrayed as a really relatable character and she was really fun to watch, I loved every scene she was in;  - Pidge also had their moments, their family had a lot of characterization, we gt to see they metting their family and it was sweet and meaningful, Pidge was really badass in a lot of scenes an it was awesome; Pidge wasreally really cute in the whole season too;

-KOSMOS WAS THE BEST BOY EVER, HOW DARE THEY HURT THE DOGGY, YOU DON’T HURT THE DOGGY;

- The art was amazing, I was baffled with it, everything looked so neat, the fighting scenes were so well animated, I was completely awestruck;

- Keith trusted Lacne to lead the team momentanly and it was sweet, Keith acknowledging Hunk was also one of the cutest parts of these season, Hunk deserved this;

 - So. Many. Hot. People. I was fauning after everyone, Allura was really hot, Romelle too, Hunk was soooo hot in some scenes, I was thirsting so bad guys. 

 - Shiro’s prosthetic was beautiful, it didn’t hide his disability, it made his disability an advantage and it was beautiful;

 - HUNK AND LANCE’S FAMILIES WERE SO BEAUTIFUL, I GOT SO EMOTIONAL ON THOSE PARTS;

 - The micy & kosmos saving everyone cause Coran is too much of a gorgeous man to work alone;

 - The paladins in their lions with their companies, Pidge highkEY ignoring everyone to play videogames and then having to deal with everyone’s nightmare xD;

 - Lance’s interactions with Romelle were adorable, she’s so funny;

 - Keith being able to have SHiro back was beautiful, I’m so happy for them;

 - VERONICA MCCLAIN WHERE DO I GET A PIECE OF THAT;

 - Shiro and Keith leadership scenes wer awesome, Keith has matured so much, I’m really pround of him;

 - Sam HOLT TAKING OVER EARTH;

 - tiny Keith was adorable and the first episode as really enjoyable, it felt like a follow up to season 6, it was meaningfull;  - Everything (plot wise) from ep 7 to the part where atlas randomly turns into a big-voltron was quickpaced but enjoyable,the earth episodes were the coolest of the whole show for me and I loved the traitor plot they put in there;  - The hinted at alien lesbians;  - Coran was so silly and cute, i loved him;  - The ‘‘lets torture pidge cause they are the weak of the team’‘ part was really cool and i loved it;  - The garrison cadets were awesome and I loved them all, (keith’s former bully was kind of a bitch, and his manerism gave me a lot of keith vibes but I liked him a bit) The mute undercut guy and the smart yellow freckled person were awesome and I loved themm. BUT  - The whole season was kind of a confusing development. The first episodes were really slow and boring, they wasted time on stuff that didn’t matter, the paladins randomly appeared on other planes of existence because of a space thing they didn’t even explain properly;  - The filler episode wasn’t nearly as enjoyable as the one in season 6, they called and portrayed Lance dumb, multiple times, when every other paladin did fairly well. The most enjoyable time was when they showed the importance every paladin had to each other and how all of them thought they mattered to each other (I don’t buy Keith’s bitching, actions are worth more than words);   - God Allura who came out with random convenient magic for every bad situation was really weird for me, has been since last season.. ressurecting lance and shiro, ending stuff with the power of quintenssence just because... well, it was kind of a low point for me;  - Again, Atlas wasn’t build to be a big voltron so it made absolutely no sense that it turned into one by God Shiro’s powers?;  - As a lowkey allurance shipper, that was really low for me because it came of nowhere. Allura didn’t like Lance like that, there were no signts, she was sad when she found out about his feelings, both Allura and Lance deserve better than that;  - Lance, in the last seasons had had almost no screen time at all, he has been made into a joke and it was no different this season. He had really good moments, Keith trusted him as a leader, Lance has really awesome in some moments but because we were promised screen time for Lance and because this has been going on for so long, I’m disappointed he didn’t got better;  - The Klance QueerBait: Im disappointed but not surprised; The one that hurt me the most was when they were drifting in space (for no good reason) Lance said Keith ‘’maybe shouldn’t have even came back’’ when Lance was the loneliest in the ship after Keith went away. Lance was utterly alone and felt the worst at those moments. I know it wasn’t from the heart but it hurted me and I don’t know how to deal with it given the rest of these last seasons;  - Acxa x Keith was the most disapointing thing I’ve ever seen, they had no interest on each other, they had no conection whatsoever, they have nothing between them and I really hope she’s Keith long los sister because if not, I’m not going to watch this happen;  - Shadam/Adashi: Well, voltron you really fucked up on this one.   I think the worst was how much you advertised this, you made us feel like we had a guaranteed gay relationship and then ripped it from us for what? shook value? When all the heterosexual relationships went fairly well? But you didn’t advertise these heterossexual realtionships like you did with adashi so what was the problem? Also, you could say it was not queerbait cause Shiro is still lgbt but why would you rob Shiro his fiancee? Like rena said on twitter, Shiro has suffered so much and everyone returned to their families, had their happy ending, but shiro has ptsd, was tortured, died, and returns home to be alone. You didn’t even say they were planning to get married on the show, if you didn’t watch the enterview, you wouldn’t even know they were planning on getting married. But no, his dead was fast and meaningless, he didn’t got anymore flashbacks, we got nothing else about him, you did’t spend more than 5 seconds mourning him, it was empty and careless. We don’t know anything else about adam, you used him to get your lgbt coverage and that’s why you queerbaited us. And you know what is so sad? You were there when some of us watched the first episode, you saw how happy we were about lgbt representation, you saw us yelling and crying in happiness and you ignored all of it and followed a trope we’ve been watching again and again and again and again.

You know, I wouldn’t have been so sad if there were at least some other interactions between them, or memories/flashbacks about them. But you used Adam as your head line when he became nothing but a footer line on the show. You advertised the relationship you knew would be the most important to us before destroying it And you know what hurts the most? You mourned and cared more for the white women that almost killed the entire human race by not listening & being arrogant that you did for Adam, the gay POC character that gave his life willingly and needlessly to save his planet. Her dead had so much intensity, she had time to speak and try to redem herself, she was made into a hero. We didn’t care about that bitch, she was a rules-lover, selfish women that didn’t know anything about zarkon or the galra but still thought Shiro & Sam & everyone else were wrong in how they were approaching the enemy. We all knew Zarkon would end earth with or without lions and she couldn’t accept that, she was an arrogant twat and you treated her like she was  the best person ever because she sacrificed herself after being proved wrong. And being cruel: I wonder what they told the families of the ones she, the hero,  send to their deaths when everyone told her it was the wrong decision.  You mourn that women like an hero, and you treat Adam, our hope for canon representation, the symbol of our identity, the hopes we had on this show since the begining, as a footer. I hope you give us something about Shadam/Adashi in next season, if you want us to stay, if you want us to respect you again. I’m more than happy with some flashbacks from Shiro and a deep meaningful conversation, I’m happy with anything that makes their gay relationship strictly visible because that what was you showed us was going to happen and that wasn’t what you gave us, you own us an apology. Shiro and Adam deserve better.

[httpbaejins]

out of reach | lee daehwi

“You literally had more chance than anyone else!”

Characters: Lee Daehwi x nameless OC x Bae Jinyoung Genre: Fluff ?? Slightly angsty, i think ?? + Reverse Idol!AU + School President!Daehwi :)) Words count: 1948 A/N: Its almost 2am and im editing this omg pray for my soul lol. anyway, @princehwii said they’d like to see me write about daehwi. its been fun hehe but im sorry if u dont like it :( leave feedback? thank you!

-

"Look! Look it's her!"

Daehwi turned his head immidiately, his eyes gazing at the girl his best friend Jinyoung pointed at. It was her, looking so beautiful like she usually is. Daehwi didn't seem like the only person who think that way, knowing that the whole classroom was staring at the same person the moment she took a step in.

"Uh, guys?" she asked nervously, showing confusion on her expression. "I'm ... uncomfortable? Please don't stare like that."

And just like that, half of the students in the classroom turned their heads away, going back to do whatever they were doing before she showed up.

But Daehwi still froze in his spot, eyes following her movement as if she was a butterfly flying around flowers. These days, whenever he saw her, he couldn't believe it was real. she was such a dream, so beautiful yet so out of reach for someone like him. so impossible, it hurt.

"What a whip," Jinyoung snickered, trying to get Daehwi's attention back. "Mr. President, please be more subtle about your crush next time. You literally have the heart eyes right now."

Daehwi turned his head away, too embarassed to continue staring nor to look at his best friend who was smirking as if he just won a bet. Daehwi tried to get his heartbeat pace to go back to normal, before acting like nothing happened, as if he didn't just stared at a girl like she was a fallen angel.

Daehwi had been so hopeless about his crush. He had been watching her from afar since middle school, but never actually brave enough to start a conversation with the girl. Sure, they have spoken to one another especially because they have been seeing each other for quite a long time, but they never actually had a real conversation together.

As if she wasn't out of reach enough, Daehwi was still shaken at the fact that she debuted.

Yes, she apparently had been training to be an idol and she got what she deserves. It crushed Daehwi's hope to actually be with her. He hadn't even make his move yet but she was drifting away from him, so far away that he couldn't reach her. She was thrown under the spotlights on stage, when Daehwi remained one of the crowds, silently being one of those who had always been there even when she's still struggling to stand on stage.

Daehwi was getting busier, slowly getting suffocated with life as he got selected to be the school president. That way, he got to talk to her more, notifying her if there's anything she needed to know as a student, but of course he had always been scared to start a casual talk with her. his best friend Jinyoung had push him many times but he wouldn't do it. Some other days, Jinyoung had to be the one who notify the girl because Daehwi just couldn't do it.

But Jinyoung, being the charming school prince who got everyone's drooling over him, do it too easily as if it was nothing. Sometimes even threw some jokes and accidentally start an actual conversation, while Daehwi, silently boiling on the other side, jealous of his best friend's ability.

It wasn't actually that hard. She's a nice person. Daehwi was just scared.

"You're the dumbest dumbass there ever was," Jinyoung clicked his tongue. "You literally had more chances than anyone else! And you let them pass, because you're too scared."

"Seriously, shut up," Daehwi glared at him. "I didn't ask to be insulted."

"It wasn't an insult, it was fact." Jinyoung argued, chuckling at his own words.

"Like you're any better."

"Hey, of course, I am! I have a girlfriend!"

Yeah, of course.

"That doesn't prove anything, asshole," Daehwi glared again at his best friend, while Jinyoung, being himself, wasn't exactly subtle about holding his giggles seeing Daehwi angry.

They had been best friends since they were little, and Jinyoung had always been more likable than Daehwi thought he was. Jinyoung had always have more friends, but Daehwi had always been smarter. It was as if Jinyoung had been born as a prince. And now that they're in the second year of high school, the prince disease was starting to infect him.

Time passed by really slowly that day. Daehwi was excused to be absent in physical education to have a talk with the homeroom teacher. Jinyoung was making jokes during lessons so many times, trying to drag Daehwi along so that people would notice the poor president more, but he just wasn't having it. Thinking of the school council meeting after the school ends that day put him in a bad mood.

"President, you're eating lunch?" Jinyoung asked. He got so used to call Daehwi that after his best friend won the school election. Rubbing off the fact to everyone's face that he's the school president's best friend sounds like something Jinyoung would definitely do.

"I don't think so," Daehwi shook his head slowly after thinking for a few seconds, too tired to tell Jinyoung that he didn't want Jinyoung to keep calling him president.

"Who are you meeting up with? Tell them not to see you when it's time to eat," Jinyoung scolded.

Daehwi shook his head again. "I'm not meeting up with anyone. I'm just not eating this time."

Jinyoung wanted to ask further, but something seemed really off that Jinyoung was kind of scared his best friend would start being angry for real. Daehwi would probably end up being in the library reading books or doing homework anyway, so Jinyoung let this one slide.

"Okay, then I’ll just, uh ... see you later?" Jinyoung asked, tidying up his books.

"Sure."

"One more thing. Do you have meetings after school today or not?"

"Yeah, I do. You can go home without me," Daehwi answered.

"That's unfortunate. Mom said she's going to pick me up and asked you to come along," Jinyoung frowned. "Alright, I'll see you later, Dae. Don't forget to eat also."

And just like that, Jinyoung left.

Daehwi was actually really thankful to have a best friend like Jinyoung who sticks with him through thick and thin and actually care. Jinyoung could've just left Daehwi alone and hang out with the kids who are more like him; good-looking and popular. Sure, Jinyoung annoyed Daehwi sometimes but Daehwi couldn't bring himself to be really angry towards the guy. Jinyoung knew this and that's exactly why he kept annoying the school president.

Then there Daehwi was, in the school rooftop, listening to music while looking down at the sight below. The sight of the busy town welcomed him, seeming to be crowded and suffocating just like his mind.

"Thinking about something?" a voice asked from behind. "Uh ..., President?"

Daehwi immidiately turned around, but then he felt like his eyes were fooling him.

She stood there, smiling and walking towards him. She then stood next to him, joining him looking at the town below, still smiling.

Jinyoung's words replayed through his head.

"You're the dumbest dumbass there ever was. You literally had more chances than anyone else! And you let them pass, because you're too scared."

Let's not be a dumbass this time, Lee Daehwi.

"What are you up to, pres?" she asked again.

"Uhm, uh, no-nothing," Daehwi sighed. His mind was working harder, trying not to be the usual Lee Daehwi. Trying not to be boring and awkward. "It's just that ... the cafeteria, uh, the cafeteria has too many people in it."

"Oooohh, you need fresh air?" she asked, chuckling, finding Daehwi cute.

Daehwi nodded, lowkey cursing to himself.

"Literally same," she mumbled back. "It's just ... tiring to be around people too much. Some of them are toxic."

Daehwi usually would just listen, but this time he wanted to get the conversation going. "Yeah, um, must be so tiring for you. You know, you're around people ... almost everytime."

"Right," she sighed. "This is so tiring. I want rest. but I'm actually happy doing it. What about you ..., President?"

"I think you talk to Jinyoung too much," Daehwi said bitterly. "His girlfriend wouldn't like this. And I know he almost never use my name when referring to me. And that's dumb, because my name is so much simpler."

She giggled. "Daehwi! Why are you salty about that?" she hit Daehwi's arm playfully. "Yeah actually I liked him back in middle school but he was too annoying so that ticked me off. And his girlfriend is nice but kind of intimidates me so i better back off."

"Wow. Someone intimidates you?"

"Yeah, Of course. you did too," she admitted, winking at him. "You're just so smart and all, and you seem so perfect. I mean, to be very honest here, you're good-looking and--"

Daehwi's eyes widened. "You think I’m good-looking?"

"Do you not think you are?" she asked back, seeming shocked. "What the hell. Here I thought you can make it to magazine covers. You're dumb to think you aren't."

God, is this real?

"You're joking." Daehwi stated.

"I won't force you to believe it either. I know already that you're this dumb," she giggled.

"You sound like Jinyoung."

She laughed. i know, oh my God. To be honest, I know so much about you more than you think I’ll ever do. Oh my God, sorry that sounds creepy. I swear I'm not into weird things, it's just ...," she bit her lower lip, unsure. “I've been meaning to say this, but ... you remember last year, for like, three weeks straight there were uh, notes under your desk? Sometimes even ... chocolate? Candies? Even coffee? Well ... I did that."

Wait, what?

Daehwi's eyes widened, staring at her in disbelief. "You're joking."

"No. Jinyoung caught me once but I made him swore on his mother's life that he wouldn't tell you. That was ... oh my God, I’m embarassed," she put her face on her palms, and Daehwi could literally see that she was blushing. "I ... I liked you back then."

Jinyoung's words replayed again. "You literally had more chances than anyone else!"

Daehwi was too shook that he froze for a moment. He remembered those notes, the notes which helped him to get through the day and Jinyoung just wouldn't stop teasing him about this secret admirer.

"Not anymore?" Daehwi asked.

The girl giggled. "Honestly, if not anymore, I wouldn't be embarassed to admit it just like how I admitted I liked Jinyoung. But, uh ... you see ... these days the situation is hard for me to actually like someone, so, uh ...," she gulped. "I'll get over it. Haha."

It was weird. She was the one being nervous. Daehwi couldn't believe it. Was he dreaming? Were his senses deceiving him? Was this really happening?

He couldn't think straight. This really was happening. His heart was beating so fast and it felt like its going to burst. But then he gulped his nervousness down, finally deciding to spill the truth.

"I ... I think I have something to tell you too," Daehwi confessed. "I liked you ... and I still do."

What surprised him was when she replied, "I know that too."

-

[dong-hyucks]

dating heejun. | knk

⇴  admin. jade ⇴  masterlists. ⇴  dating series masterlist.

highkey dedicated to @woojiniee and @longquos u guys are rude abt my bias wreckers >:( but ily anyway

so you met way back when he was still in kokoma band

you had been a helper, setting up the equipment for this performance since your friend -- who worked for the company -- brought you along

anyway

your friend told you who your were setting up for, and to be honest you had no idea who any of them were

no heejun?

quack dongyeon?

lee whochan?

who dongseong?

whomst??

they were a trainee band and didn’t have much information out there

but your friend showed you a video of them goofing around with their instruments/voices and?? they sounded p good??

you weren’t going to be around for the actual mini performance, as there were other guests coming

you were a bit bummed, but oh well

while you were setting up the main mic, someone came in looking very lost

“heejun,” your friend greeted politely, even bowing her head

you did the same, assuming this heejun was the same heejun in the band

he mumbled an absent hello, his eyes trailing all over the floor

“did you lose something?”

heejun looked up, smiling at you briefly before nodding

“yeah... have you seen my ring?”

a lightbulb went off above your head, a look of recognition flashing over your expression

heejun and your friend watched as you headed over to a little side table, retrieving his very ring from it

“i found it over there,” you pointed to the speakers, “you must’ve dropped it before.”

heejun thanked you gratefully, slipping the ring on his finger

he smiled at you before halting

his eyes went to your friend before going back on you, lingering a moment longer than you expected

“are you a new worker?”

you shook your head, “i’m just helping”

you didn’t miss the disappointed look he dawned before covering it with a neutral expression

you chuckled, “what was that?”

heejun shrugged, “nothing. just a little disappointing -- it’s not every day i meet a cute employee here”

you nearly choked

he grinned innocently, as though he hadn’t said that, and turned on his heel to leave

once he was safely out the door, your friend burst out into laughter

“[Y/N]! he was totally flirting with you!”

you just rolled your eyes, “sure.”

you didn’t see heejun again for a week or two

until you randomly got a text from some unknown number claiming they were heejun

you were quite skeptical at first until your friend confessed that she may or may not have given him your number

anywho

heejun didn’t text you like everyday

he was busy, as were you

but you texted every other day or once a week

you had this kind of relationship that was borderline friends / acquaintances

but then

heejunie: “hey, do you want to hang out today? i’m going to the bowling alley today”

at first you were going to say no

but, hey, you hadn’t gone bowling in a while so why not? plus heejun was a cool dude

so that’s how you found yourself, two hours later, laughing your heads off outside with heejun

to explain

when you first arrived at the bowling alley, heejun was already there

he was with a little kid, one with a tearful expression

at first you were like “??? heejun what did you dO ???” but then you realized he was trying to comfort the child

he’d lost his mom -- with the bowling alley being relatively dark and a big space

the sight of heejun wiping away the child’s tears with a gentle smile on his face, his voice soft as he told the child he’d find his mom for him

it did something to you

luckily, you had spotted a frantic looking woman on the way to finding heejun

lmao what a coincidence

you assumed that the woman was the kid’s mom

without even greeting heejun, you ventured off to find the woman, and when you did she confirmed your thoughts

sO after bringing the two together, you and heejun high-fived

“i comforted the lil’ guy and you found the mom, what a team”

“barely”

“shh, [Y/N], let me have this moment”

you just chuckled at how incredibly dorky he was

after getting your shoes and a lane, you and heejun just bowled normally

at first

then, it got a little competitive

it’s not what you think -- you weren’t competing to see who could get the most points

you were competing to see who could hit the pins in the coolest way

people in nearby lanes and those who walked passed gave you weird looks when you were laying down on the floor to push the ball

but you didn’t care, you were having fun

until

heejun decided to attempt a cartwheel

y i k e s

bad idea

especially when he had an 18lb bowling ball in his hands

needless to say, when he ‘landed’ his arm slipped

and the bowling ball basically flew from his fingers (luckily, not injuring him)

and there was a loud crash

this idiot somehow managed to throw his bowling ball at the ceiling

needless to say, his manager found out via text and wasn’t happy

heejun also used his company card for the repairs cough

you were kicked out very quickly

and now you’re just outside, leaning against the wall to catch yourself from falling

your stomach hurt from laughing so much, both at heejun’s misfortune and the expression he had made the moment the ball collided with the tiles

at first, he felt so bad but after hearing you laugh, he couldn’t help but follow

“that was hilarious,” you mumbled, wiping away fake tears, “but never do that again”

“noted”

while you recovered from laughing so hard, heejun took the time to just admire you

he thought you were very attractive, and the sound of your laugh was like wedding bells to his ears

“go out with me.”

“jeEZ HEEJUN YOU CAN’T JUST SAY THAT RANDOMLY--”

you thought he was joking but he had a sincere smile on his face and you suddenly felt really nervous

“you don’t have to be my s/o,” he cut in, mumbling ‘yet’ under his breath, “but if you want, go on a date with me.”

you were gaping like a fish

sure, heejun was a pretty nice guy, he was funny, he was smart (most of the time,,), and he made you smile without even trying but did you like him?

it took you a second, but the sound of your rapid heart answered for you

“okay”

not even a second after the word left your lips, he had your hand in his and he was pulling you down the street

“where are we going--”

“it’s a surprise!”

heejun was suddenly really giggly

like he had planned the whole thing

you were lowkey suspicious, but he was cute so you let it slide

okay so

he didn’t tell you a thing for like ten whole minutes

but he looked like the epitome of happiness

like he just won the lottery

“here we are!”

you looked around, a brow raised

he brought you to a big park in town, but he’d lead you far into it, where a lone tree stood tall

“what’re we doing here?” you asked, looking up at the pretty petals that hung on the branches

heejun coughed, backing up into the tree

“i come here sometimes,” he admitted, “it’s like me go to place whenever i need inspiration”

you looked over at him, “inspiration?”

he merely nodded, holding out his hand

“let’s go up.”

seconds later, heejun was pulling you up the tree

at first you were like “hey man what’re you doing” but then he pulled you up onto a sturdy branch

“look,” he mumbled, gesturing outward

you did, amazed at the sight

the branch gave you a perfect view of the city

“we can see everything here,” heejun said, “but no one can see us”

you were gobsmacked, “how did you even find this?”

he shrugged, “when i was a kid, i got separated from my dad, and i ended up here”

you blinked, keeping your gaze on him

when he looked back, you realized how handsome he was

even though his expression was neutral, you could see a hint of amusement shimmering in his eyes

wow, you thought, you’re handsome

he chuckled, his lips splitting into a grin

“thanks”

“shit did i say that outloud”

he rolled his eyes playfully, nudging you with his shoulder

“don’t worry. you aren’t too bad looking either”

“i know, you told me the first time we met”

he smiled again, looking at you almost longingly

“you’re cute”

“heejun, kindly let me breathe, please and thanks”

he didn’t respond, his gaze making you slightly —very— nervous

“i know i said you didn’t have to be my s/o, but…” he rubbed the back of his neck, “i really like you.”

you rolled your eyes, kissing his cheek (which made it turn pink) “i like you too, heejun.”

woo ur dating now dope relationship congratz

im sorry (no i’m not)

so let’s go dating oh heejun

let’s start of with something cute

kissing :))

your first kiss with heejun didn’t take long to happen

in fact, it happened the same day you started dating

after you hung out at the tree for a bit, he took you out for dinner

the restaurant wasn’t really fancy but it wasn’t a fast food joint either

heejun actually knew the owner, so you got to sit in the “special” seating

it was secluded from the rest of the restaurant, on the second floor

there were french doors leading out to a balcony, where a single table stood

the dinner was great, as was the service

after you ate, you and heejun looked out over the railing

you talked for a while, enjoying the slight breeze

you didn’t notice heejun getting closer and closer until his arm was literally brushing against yours

“i’ve never met someone like you,” he mumbled, “you’re different”

“is that a good thing?”

“it’s a great thing.”

you bore into one another’s eyes for a moment

slowly, you got closer and closer until he was a hair length away

“can i…?” his eyes darted down to your lips

when you nodded, he didn’t hesitate to move forward

the kiss was slow, his lips moving gently against yours

somehow, you ended up with your back against the railing, with your hands clasping around his waist at the small of his back

his hands cupped your cheeks, his thumb gently moving back and forth as he leaned into you

when air was necessary, you pulled away

“that was,” he chuckled, “wow for a first kiss.”

generally, kisses with heejun are either dorky or sweet

or both

half the time he’s grinning, so the kiss isn’t even a proper one, but neither of you care too much

—let’s also not talk about the cough night time cough kisses—

anyway moving on

let’s add a new thing

hugs

cuddling

you know, the fluffy shit

i’ve already made a cuddling with knk —and astro— post here but

let’s come back to this anyway

heejun hugs you so often

if you aren’t a hug person, he respect that, but sometimes he can’t help it

he’s a cuddly person

whenever you cuddle, he likes to hold your hand

it makes him feel connected to you

and his voice just lowers and becomes super soft and gentle

and he just looks at you like you’re the most amazing person in the entire world

and to him, you are

cuddling also comes with soft talks

he talks about his day, about his career, then asks you about yours

and while you’re talking he’s just heart eyes for you because he thinks he’s so lucky to be able to be with you

alright moving on

your first i love you also came soon after you started dating

he wanted to wait until you were completely comfortable but it kinda just

slipped out

he had to leave to practice and he was maybe late

really late

he was rushing out the door, falling over himself as he pulled his shoes on

“have fun,” you mumbled absentmindedly as you opened the fridge for food

“yeah,” he huffed, pulling his jacket over his shoulders, “thanks babe. i love you, see you later—“

you didn’t have time to react before the door shut

you kind of just stood there, the cold air from the fridge hitting your bare skin

“wHaT”

an hour later, heejun got a call from you during a little break

“hello? [Y/N]?

“i love you too, heejun. mind waiting next time so i could actually say it back?”

needless to say, heejun was a smiley mess for the rest of the day

alright

fights with heejun

rare, he tries his hardest to keep away from fights

other than the little ones, over who gets the remote, over who gets the last slice, etc

but when they do happen, heejun tries to bring it back

but sometimes, that doesn’t work

he’d give you some space, and you’d give him space

but he never lets you go to bed angry or upset

especially with him

he takes on the cuddling tone, low and gentle, as he talks out his feelings and you talk about yours

fights don’t last more than a few hours with heejun

so in all

dating heejun means you’re ina relationship with a dorky, funny, loveable guy

that also means, your life gets a little dorky

every day is a new adventure

when he debuted with KNK, you were introduced to four other dorks

and they all loved you (not nearly as much as heejun does)

basically

dating heejun is an amazing thing

he treasures you, makes you laugh and feel loved

:)

[naivethekooks]

march wrap up + exciting news!

hey guys! so i have some really good news -drum roll please-

i bought a bookshelf! yup, ive been putting it off for awhile but all my money literally goes towards books and i was running out of space haha. anyways the good news is that im definitely going to take photos and post them! so it'll be like a tour type of thing! i'll try to get it up tomorrow, but it didn't arrive until late so i didn't have a chance to actually build the thing today. im planning to get it done tomorrow but maybe it won't work out, i dunno. but yeah! im super excited for you guys to get a look at my reading taste and everything. anyways, on with the wrap up!

1) night and day by virginia woolf

4/5 stars

ok, thank God i didn't give up on her after to the lighthouse. this book was so amazing?? it lowkey reminded me of a jane austen novel and i know a lot of people love her so if you fall into that category please check this out! unlike TTL, it actually has a plot lmao. its following two couples and basically just answers the question of what is love and there's yearning and pining and yeah i loved it. didn't give it 5 though because it did move a bit slow

2) the outsiders by s.e hinton

3/5 (more like a 2.5 tho)

okay so...i defiantly appreciate what this book did for the young adult genre and given the time it was written i can see why its considered such a classic. but it was just...so boring?? and incredibly unrealistic. good news is i was able to read it in a day and i did like the ending so there's that. if i had read this for school i would've hated it even more (also the movie was awful too)

3) sometimes i lie by alice feeney

2/5

okay, this is about a girl in a coma and its written in flashbacks, journal entries, and the main characters thoughts during the coma. it sounds like such a cool concept but...idk. the writing was really bad at first but it did get better and the journal entries were so cool. but it just felt useless. like so much more could've been done and the author kinda just fell flat.

4) beautiful boy by david sheff

4/5

i don't typically read memoirs but this was so good! really there's no critiques, the movie was alright but i would say read the book first. its about a father having to deal with his sons drug addiction and the way that's taken a toll on him and his family. i honestly think this should be required reading, or schools should at least recommend it. because in present day there's so much content romanticizing drug use and people post about it so casually its disgusting. so yeah, please read this book!

5) a dirty job by christopher moore

3/5

okay, this book was good. like it made me audibly laugh a few times and i vivdly remember two of the jokes and they still make me smile almost a month later! i gave a 3 though because it did kinda drag on and i just wasn't motivated to finish it, like it almost got me in a slump.

6) daisy miller and washington square by henry james

DM: 2/5 WS: 3/5

okay to be honest i hardly remember daisy miller, it just wasn't good. washington square isn't memorable either. i think its about a guy who likes a girl but her family doesn't approve. they're both classics that are really easy to read and relatable, and i think that if you're getting started with classics you should check them out.

7) sawkill girls by claire legrand

4/5

this book has lesbian, bisexual, and ace rep its honestly amazing. if you like rory power books you'll love this. its basically about an island where girls go missing, and the town doesn't really have an explanation. that's all i'll say because i don't want to give a lot away but yeah, read this!

8) taking flight by siera maley

3/5

the writing wasn't strong the plot was meh but it was a cute lesbian story

9) the catcher in the rye by j.d salinger

3/5

not much to say, i had to read this for school. the ending was really amazing

10) girls of paper and fire by natasha ngan

4/5

okay so this ones about a society where 8 girls are taken to be the kings mistresses each year. lei, the mc, is chosen as the 9th girl because of how unique her eyes are. she gets to the palace and isn't very happy with how things are run. that's all i'll say because i don't wanna spoil it. but yeah! it features a f/f romance too, and it doesn't really focus on coming out or labels or anything since i know some people don't like that

11) girls of storm and shadow by natasha ngan

3/5

definitely not as good as the first. i won't summarize because that would obviously have to include spoilers. but im still gonna read the 3rd book when it comes out:)

12) muted by tami charles

3/5

the first book ive read written in verse! it was cool, its basically about a group of friends who get scouted by a musician and you get to see them navigate the industry and all that. there's TWs in the book, please check them! also the main character is a lesbian so read this!

13) watch over me by nina lacour

3/5

this isn't the same nina who wrote hold still:( it is the same one that wrote we are okay though. this was just so ughhhh. it follows a girl who gets adopted by this family that lives on a farm and takes in a lot of foster children, and there's ghost and stuff. i feel like it just tried too hard to be deep.

okay! march was such a good reading month tbh. i don't have much else to say. if anyone's reading this ur cool!

[survivorgalaxysedge]

Episode 6 | Your Social Game Is On 0! - MJ

WHOOPS I KINDA DID THAT, SORRY KEEGAN, YOU DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG I JUST NEED EVERYONE ON THIS TEAM TO BE BFFS WITH ME

also just realized that at final 13 i know well over half of the people in the game..... love that for me!! -close with ali, jonathan, and zoe over here both separately & together -mj obvs -cindi and jay are known quantities -jules is great too -so only ones i don’t know.... silver, zach, asya, nathan & jessie i know i can work with at least half of the ones i know, probably more - only real question mark is cindi cuz she was a little sus originally, and jay i hope is still good but i think he and keegan were close so might have to work on explaining that one. but overall, i feel pretty well set for merge whenever it gets here, and hopefully the next couple votes can get rid of some of those ones i don’t know. onward and upward! we’ll see!!!

I don't really do much text confessionals but I just ranted in my host chat so I'm sending it here. ~~This Round~~ this round is gonna be fun, so much fun, and I won't have to do like any gameplay because I think regardless the trian tribe is going to tribal and I wanna see how that plays out, and then if my tribe goes to tribal I'm gonna dip out using my safety without power and let silver kill an og circi since he's gonna pull out that extra vote however, if asya or jules have an advantage / if mj flips that's fine with me too. I'm still debating playing the solar eclipse. I want to cause chaos, and for what? For no reason. *Moments Later* I spun a wheel to determine what I will do this round, and it landed on not playing the solar eclipse and noping out. that's what I'm doing. now you may ask for the strategic value of letting a circi die? Well, if a Circi goes (or two circis go if it's an andro/circi tribal), I'm suddenly 1/2 of my OG tribe left. People may want to pick me up and use me as a number since I will have no allegiance to anyone. This puts me in a lowkey kind of decent position if I lie and say I was gonna be voted out if I didn't safety w/o power. Also playing a safety without power and claiming the magnet would statistically mean I am less likely to have other advantages since other people had searches stockpiled for the swap I'll probably test the waters for a bit after immunity results and then play the magnet to make it look like it wasn't planned and I just got a bad feeling. In other words: I'm turning the crackhead dial-up, it's time for fun! I swear to god if we don't merge after this round I will scream. ~~Planning for the Future~~ oh my god it could be a 10 person merge. because the merge episode is usually episode 8. we're on 6 but that wouldn't make sense to prevent a 5 > 1 person tribe from occurring and 5 votes in a swap seems like a bit much. I feel like at this point I know I probably won't win this game but I'm gonna give them hell while I'm here playing well is boring People on this cast that will probably try to kill me: Cindi, Jay, Nathan, Maybe Jesse? I haven't really spoken much to MJ or Silver, chances are my closest ally is going home this round, Zoe Jonathan and Ari may pick me up if I'm from a minority tribe but dump me very quickly. From my POV the cards are not in my favor, all I have are my advantages so the path of chaos is more beneficial plus I'm sure it's spread I'm pretty good at immunities in merge so they're gonna try to take me out early on like round 1 or 2, So if I want any chance I need to play the following way Since I cannot depend on social connections as much as I normally would 1. Make sure my existing social connections are voted out so that I am not in the group where I don't have the best social connections but I have enough that it is worrisome 2. Play my advantages early in merge if I don't win immunity, cementing myself as a big target 3. Convince people that nobody will take me deep into the game because I have placed myself in the position of a big target 4. Try to get the people that would be 100% against me voted out, while also watching Andro tribe majority. Basically making Andro and Trian fight each other 5. Win immunities near the end and somehow make it deep??? That's my best case scenario at this point in my opinion.

So like we won immunity . Wow see what happens when we actually try? Isn’t that nice . Idc who goes really I can make new bonds or whatever with people if silver goes but in the ideal scenario he will stay. But tbh I have no power over what happens tonight so I don’t care. Hoping merge happens next 

ok so i have a little cute vote chat for me jules and mj. mj is spilling EVERYTHING abt his OG tribe including how they blindsided my wife pippa... rude. also abt his idol searches. he's a smart cookie and one to watch for but i also like him and need friends so<3

THIS SUCKS SO MUCHHHHHH ALI I AM SO SORRY

Having to remind myself that is entirely okay to be vengeful and even be blinded by revenge in these games. I've become way too soft for these things in the past couple of years. As of right now, tonight's tribal council should be 2-1-1, since Zach is skipping -- 2 votes for Silver (Asya, Jules), 1 vote Jules (Silver), and 1 vote Asya (me). If Silver's 50/50 coin lands on SAFE, the it’ll tie between Aysa and Jules and I think I’ll get auto-eliminated if it’s rocks instead of a 1v1 tiebreaker, and I’m OK with that I think! If it lands on NOT SAFE then Silver is leaving, period! And Silver deserves to leave, and I shouldn't feel nervous about taking this shot, no matter if it backfires or not. It makes me feel icky to think that Nathan, Jessie, and Silver were in cahoots from the very start and I didn't care enough to control my own game because I've become too accustomed to jellyfishing my way through ORGs to avoid being pinpointed as a leader or strategist. I'm putting my foot down tonight. I'm taking this shot and if it works, then it's merely the beginning of the end for half of the remaining cast as far as I'm concerned. If it backfires, then oh well, at least I tried something here. NO REGRETS! Anyway, just had the first alliance call with Aysa and Jules and it was great! Good vibes! We just chit-chatted and discussed strategy and previous dynamics. It will be a shame if we don’t get to push forward together after tonight. I’m also telling Silver right now not to play the 50/50 befcause if it doesn’t land on safe then the vote will be 3-2 if Aysa is lying; and if Aysa is telling the truth then he’s wasting a power that he could have later on. It kinda makes no sense for him to use the 50/50 considering the information he’s being told. I’m fine with pitching this to him because he said he was 100% gonna use it anyway, so me telling him not to will either leave things the same or result in him not using it at all. There’s no losing there. The only way to lose is if it lands on safe. The savage in me is saying, no MJ don’t let yourself get auto-eliminated if things go south, CUT JULES! And I realize that that’s exactly how I should be thinking given the first two lines of this confessional!!! But I wanna be a risk taker. I’m fine with this blowing up because the potential reward is greater than me being auto-eliminated. + Jack was rocked out last season so it would be cute to match that if it comes down to it! I hope it doesn’t, but it’s fine either way. I feel like this game owes me. Silver's 50/50 will not land on safe.

ALSO on this alliance call, I was informed that the adventure reset?!?!?!?! AND I HAVEN'T DONE THEM IN A WEEK???? LMFAOOOOO anyway.

AHHHH why did I volunteer to go first in the challenge ugh I remembered the wrong shit lol. But this tribal I dont think I have to use my 50/50 since asya doesn't wanna go to rock so she'll vote Jules with us. So yeah I think I'll be ok. Asya told me Jules is voting MJ. I'm just hoping this isnt gonna be a big blindside towards me but yeah wish me luck 

okay, here's the plan. silver has the glowing orb 50/50 coin thing. i expect him to play it. silver's voting me. im voting silver and so is asya. mj is king of the key here. if mj votes silver and the orb makes him safe, then im gone. if mj votes asya (hang on, ive just had a realization and just had to sit in silence for a while whilst i process it.) okay. if mj votes asya and the coin makes silver safe, it'll be 2-1-1, with a tie between me and asya. which im just now realizing could send it to rocks where mj would be the one leaving............. boy howdy, sure wish i knew how to count. okay, yeah. we'll just hope that the coin lands on NOT SAFE -or- he doesnt play it at all. mj and asya are telling him that they're voting me out, so maybe he'll feel comfy enough not to use it. i dont WANT asya to be voted out, but it's better than me or mj being the vote. if mj gets rocked out by default because i didnt realize how to count....... oops!!! but silver has a bunch of advantages, so him getting voted out would flush those out. asya has an immunity shard and id like to think that she'd will it to me if she gets voted out, but eye dee kay!

AHHH sorry this is coming so late but I've had a busy busy few days, and luckily I've avoided tribal during this time lol So before I was feeling a bit shaky on this tribe, I felt like everyone was more connected to each other than to me. But as it turns out, that's completely untrue and I feel very at the center of this tribe. Nathan and I have had multiple long talks recently where we've decided that we want to stick together deep into this game, and he's given me some info about how he and Silver gave up their immunity shards to Jessie, so she has an idol now. Cindi and I have a connection from our original tribe too and I've been keeping up on that relationship too. I gave her a clue I found during an expedition but nothing really came of it since it's, as far as I can tell, impossible to decipher. If we did end up going to tribal, I would have made a push to take out Jessie TBH, even though she has the idol. I feel like even if Nathan wasn't for it, they'd go for Cindi and not me. But luckily that doesn't matter because we're immune and likely heading for a merge in the next 30 minutes. And if not a merge, than another swap bc I think y'all hosts anticipated that one tribe could have lost all of the last 3 immunities and I don't think you want a 2 person tribe at the f11. But yeah I feel really good about my place in the game, I want Nathan to be my shield for the time being bc he's so vocal and strategic that he will always be a target ahead of me.

I have put so much work in to stay

I BETTER STAY

All this fighting for nothing smh <3 it is not looking good